“Shit,” he breathed as he woke up from a start that was the second time that Justin had the dream where everyone seemed to crash down on him and he couldn’t breathe.

“I can’t do this anymore I can’t,” he whispered as he pulled the covers off his sweat filled body and went to the bathroom, turning  on the light he ran a hand down his face.

“Justin Timberlake,” he mumbled looking over his reflection.

He shook his head; nothing had come good lately because of who he was.

Splashing some water on his face he went down the stairs of his house and grinned a little bit as he saw a passed out Trace on his couch, good old Trace.

“Hey ass wipe wake up,” Justin laughed as he tapped his friends head as he walked past him into the kitchen.

“What, shit,” Trace moaned as he opened his eyes, than glared at Justin retreating form.

“What the fuck, was that for dipshit,” he asked coming in taking the water and pills from Justin as he handed to them to him with a nod of thanks.

“For passing out on my sofa,” he mentioned like it was obivious and opened his pantry for his cereal, placing it next to his bowl he looked at it again, this was the same thing he had been eating for the last oh he didn’t know ten years of his life.

Placing the clean bowl in the sink he placed the cereal back on the counter and grabbed two slices of cold pepperoni pizza from the fridge and got himself a glass of milk.

“Since when do you eat cold pizza,” Trace asked.

“Since when do you question what I eat for breakfast, “he asked him as he bit into his pizza.

Holding his hands up in defense he shook his head as he grabbed a banana and left the room, “I don’t need your attitude today man,” he said using his other hand to rub his head that still ached.

Shrugging at the moment Justin didn’t care, he knew Trace would get over it eventually, he wasn’t to set on that, and he knew Justin wasn’t the best morning person in the world.

--

Flipping the guide on the TV through the fifth time he groaned as he placed a hand over his face, it was almost two and as of yet the funk he had woke up with hadn’t left him.

Looking out towards the backyard he saw Trace in the pool with some chick.

Ever since his last break up he hadn’t really been big on relationships he realized with a shake of his head.

Getting up he walked out back and waved at Trace, but then noticed something about this girl, everywhere he went her eyes followed him.

“Hi,” he said but she just bit her lip in an, oh my god look.

“You’re JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE,” she squeaked.

“What,” Trace said looking over at her surprised. 

Meanwhile Justin just shook his head he was tired of everyone knowing his name before he got a chance to know theirs, he was tired of everyone thinking they knew everything about him before he got a chance to speak.

“I’m leaving, I may or may not back,” he stated walking back towards the house.

“Wait,” Trace said rushing from the pool grabbing his towel all buy ignoring the girl as he followed Justin into the house.

“Trace, look I need to be by myself I need to sort things out, I,” he looked at Trace.

“I didn’t know she was a fan honest,” he told Justin and he shook his head.

“You know that has nothing to do with it,” he said as he looked back at the girl who looked confused as she didn’t know if she should get out of the pool or just stay there.

“Justin,” he said placing his hand on his shoulder.

“Trace, don’t I don’t know what’s going on right now, but I know that I need to get away ok,” Justin said looking at him.

“But you said you didn’t know if you’d be back,” he questioned.

“True, I don’t,” he stated.

“Jay,” he questioned and Justin shrugged his arm off his shoulder.

Looking over at the pictures that decorated his walls he grinned but then it turned it to frown.

“I can’t be Justin Timberlake anymore,” he whispered as he walked passed Trace and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and out the door, not sure where he was gonna go or who he was gonna be, anymore.

It was a usually Wednesday of work for me when I looked up I saw my boss was walking over to me with a guy, who kinda looked like Justin Timberlake, “Nah couldn’t be he’s in our work uniform,” I mumbled to myself.

“Michelle, I’d like you to meet Jason,” my boss said to me a moment later.

Moving my pen to rest on my ear, I shook his hand.

“He will be working back in here in the furniture department, so teach him all you know,” He told me.

“But I’ve only been here a month,” I said with a slight laugh.

“Right, well Walter is off on vacation and I know you have handled it pretty well on your own, so show him the ropes,” he said and walked away, answering his little phone on his hip as he got about a foot away.

“So, what exactly do you guys do here,” I heard Jason’s voice and looking over him and saw him rock back on his heels and place his hands on in his pockets.

“We help customers order, pick up, or find furniture, gifts, bedding, and toys,” I said with a wave of my hand.

“Exciting,” he said sarcastically

“Oh yea it’s what makes my life go round,” I mumbled and heard him chuckle, something under my skin itched when I heard that laughter, I had heard it before and it wasn’t from a guy named Jason.

“Anyways, I think the best way to get the hang of it is to let you know how to do a couple things, and then let the customers come ask you their questions,” I said sitting down on the chair behind the furniture desk and told him to pull the other next to me and have a seat at the computer.

I showed him how to make an order, how to look for things in the back, see if other stores had it, and check to see if it was discontinued or not.

--

I didn’t know what I was doing here, I drove for about an hour and seeing the store I parked and looked at it, then I drove off and found a park and getting out I sat on one of the cement tables and took my sidekick out and looking down I saw three missed messages from Trace, “He wasn’t gonna give up,” I asked myself with shake of my head.

Loading the internet I typed in the name of the store I had seen and seeing a for hire sign, I contemplated it, then I slowly started to fill the application in, as I got to the comments part I told them what I wanted and how it would work, they would be the only ones to know my true identity since they had to for application purposes, my name would be Jason Sharp and all my checks would alternate between going to my account and my charity.

Not thinking of anything else I shut the phone of as I saw Traces face pop up on the caller id as it buzzed in my hand.

“He didn’t get it did he, I couldn’t be Justin anymore, meaning I couldn’t be his best friend, no matter how much it hurt,” I said as I walked back to my car.

Driving around for a few more moments I found an apartment complex about thirty minutes of driving and heading in I applied and got the lease the first day no questions asked, sad thing was even if I hated it I knew how to work my name to get what I wanted.

I had asked for a furnished apartment and told them to please respect my privacy and no let anyone know I had moved here, which of course they agreed to.

Sitting on the couch in the new apartment, I realized I needed some food two slices of pizza weren’t gonna hold me all day.

Getting up I headed out the door with food on my mind and checking my phone last time to create an extended absence greeting I was about to turn it off completely thinking about getting a new phone, for this new identity, “Hello,” I asked not recognizing the number.

“Justin, I mean Jason, how would you like to work for us,” the voice said and I smiled for real for the first time in five hours.

“Now it all begins,” I said as I took the steps two at a time and started to get things ready for Monday when they said I would start.

--

I had gotten some food and went to the store and pulling a cap down over my head I went and bought some pants I knew I would need for this job and clothes I knew people wouldn’t consider I would wear on a normal basis, and then heading over to the barber next door I told her to dye my short curls black, and also just for the hell of it to shape my eyebrows.

She didn’t ask questions and smiled big when I gave her a big tip at the end of it. That would be the last time I could pull the strings of my fame, I told myself as I headed towards my car and made back to the apartment.

The first two days of work I spent doing computer work answering questions and getting a feel for  the store, now it was Wednesday and the boss man, or Teddy as his name badge and he had said, led me back to the desk in back wall of the store.

“Michelle this is Jason,” was all I caught of what Teddy said as her eyes hit mine and she shook my hand.

Hearing her laugh at the comments I made I felt something inside me and I cursed myself, I can’t be feeling that right now, I said with frustration but was only smiles when Michelle looked at me.

The rest of the day I played shadow with Michelle and helped some people and then it happened.

“Aren’t you Justin Timberlake,” a guy looking a rocking chair asked.

“Oh no didn’t you just tell me that you get compared to him all the time earlier and you hate it,” I heard Michelle’s voice say as she came over and stood next to me.

“Yea, I mean he’s talented and all but,” I said ending with a shrug as I didn’t really know what to say.

“Sorry about that than, Jason,” the guy said as he read my name tag and taking his receipt the rocking chair left.

“Do you really get that comparison, I mean from far away earlier today I thought so when I saw you with Teddy, but eh your black hair is defiantly not like his and well I don’t know something else makes you different,” She said moving her face in though and all I could thing was how cute she looked when she did that. Stop it Timberlake, I told myself.

“That I work here,” I said a second later after she kept looking at me.

“Yea, probably, but hey I’m gonna go take my lunch, I’ll see you tomorrow since your off before I get back,” she said.

“Sure, it was nice to meet you,” I said shaking her hand again and she winked at me before saying ditto.

I tried to look away as she walked away but I just watched her ass swing as she walked to clock out for her lunch.

“I’m in trouble,” I mumbled to myself as I went and picked up some of the place cards and started to put them back on the merchandise.

She had said I would see her tomorrow, but that was about three days ago and now it was almost five on a Saturday afternoon and I was in the backroom pulling a box of furniture out for a costumer when I heard, “Furniture to register 4 for guest carry out.” Come over the speakers.

Pulling then box out I pushed it towards the doors of the back wall towards the store’s floor room putting it on a dolly I wheeled it out and was about to start to write up the customers receipt to the piece when Walter the supervisor for the department told me to go take the call up front while he took care of this.

Nodding I went up front and heard the announcement again, looking towards that register I felt my eyebrows meet in confusion, it was Michelle she was checking people and as she got through her line and there was a slow period I saw her take her neck length hair up into a pony tail with her hand and then shake it out as she rolled her eyes, she didn’t seem in the best mood.

“Hey you needed a carry out,” I asked and I saw her smile a minute.

“Hey Jason, yea that group right there,” she said and pointed towards the front where a family was waiting with a box that I hadn’t seen being brought up.

I went out with them and helped them carry the box and put into their car, hearing them say thank you was somehow strange to me.

Walking back inside I saw Michelle get done with her guest and then looked around for a second and started to head to the back, I followed her and watched as she went the restroom with a shrug I went back towards the desk and picked up the cards that went to the different pieces on the floor and placed them back into their pockets on the pieces where they belonged. Making sure that the bedding on the beds and stuff was straightened as Michelle had told me. I then and went to get a drink it was then as I stood up to whip my face on the back of my hand that Michelle came out of the bathroom which was to the left of the drinking fountain.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“You said you’d see me Thursday and I haven’t seen you since Wednesday,” I stated.

“Oh,” she looked at me confused for a second, and it was that I realized that I was being clingy and emotional; I don’t know what I was thinking.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way but,” I didn’t know what I was suppose to say and I shook my head, but looked at her as she started to laugh at me.

“Don’t worry about it, hey when you off,” she questioned.

“In thirty minutes,” I said looking at my watch.

“Well I’m off in an hour, do you want to meet up at the IN and OUT across the street at like seven,” she questioned.

“I guess,” I said with a shrug but I was smiling inside, she was asking me out.

“Oh by the way this isn’t me asking you out, this is lets go have dinner, as new friends,” Michelle said as she walked past me and hit my shoulder with a tap of her knuckles and again I watched her ass as she walked away but this time she looked around and caught me.

But all she did was get big eyes but then smirk at me, and when she turned around she wiggled it back and forth as she got a little further away making me laugh, that girl was something else I thought, as I saw her giggle inside as she looked at me one more time as she got into her register and I was still standing there looking at her.

--

I don’t know what it was but Jason was a cool guy, I had a fun time when I was around him, and he made my job not as boring.

Doing cashier wasn’t my favorite part of this job but the time seemed to go by faster as I knew Jason and I would be hanging out later. I would never tell him thought that the something else that put him off from Justin Timberlake look alike he had going on was his eyebrows, they were too thin to be anything but Jason’s.

I smiled to myself as I saw Jason clock out and waved at me that he’d see me later and headed out.

The thirty minutes after that seemed to fly by and then with a giggle I clocked out myself and headed home. Entering my apartment that was only about  five minutes away I than pressed my back up against the door with a sigh, “Shit,” I whispered as I realized what I was feeling, I can’t not yet.

You see I had this plan, I made it when I was fifteen, I would finish high school with at least a B average and then I would move out and buy my own apartment, than I would work my way to an A.A. for Music and, well I hadn’t yet figured that part out but I was only in my second year of school so I figured I had enough time to decide that later.  It was after school and graduation and being in my career that I planned on feeling these things I started to feel right now.

Turning the TV on I went to my room and changed out of my work clothes and into a pair of jeans and a yellow tank top. I went the bathroom and washing my face I patted it dry, taking my hair out its pony tail and brushed it out placing some mousse in it and spraying some body spray, than brushed my teeth and smiled.

I had about an hour before I had to go and meet Justin and I needed to do some school work and study for a test so grabbing my back pack from the floor by my door and brought it out and walking out to the living room I sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and used the couch as a backrest about to open my bag I heard something that made me look up.

It was then that they showed Trace with Rachel Justin’s cousin,” We haven’t heard anything from him, his mom is scared and we just want him to be alright,” Trace said and Rachel nodded as they then headed off camera.

I watched in my mouth opened in shock, well than who would have thought I asked myself and than I thought about how Jason showed up at the same time, nah couldn’t be I said to myself and then muting the TV as it went to Paris Hiltons newest music news, who knew she would be up in the ratings with Britney and Justin himself that day.

About forty five minutes later I put on some flip flops grabbed a bag and shoved my wallet and phone and keys in it and picking my jacket off the kitchen chair I pulled it on and headed out the door and locked it behind me.

Pulling out of my parking spot, what goes around comes around came on and I remembered the report I heard earlier as the song ended about his disappearance.

“I hope he is ok,” I said as another song came on and I turned a corner and headed up to the In and Out.

--

I saw her pull up and step out of her car, she placed her keys in her back pocket hooking them on her jeans belt loop- like she always did at work, she said it was so she didn’t lose them in her purse.

She smiled and gave a wave with a hey that I didn’t hear as she was too far away but I read it from her lips and I smiled back standing up from the patio seating outside the In and Out and as she came to him she gave me a hug.

She smelled of raspberries and vanilla and mint and as I breathed in her scent and hugged her back, I felt something I hadn’t felt in the past ten years, I felt like myself.

“So how bout a double double with a chocolate shake,” she asked and smiled.

“Sounds good,” I smiled and grabbed her wrist and led her inside.

“Let’s get our grub on,” I said making my voice deep as I held the door open.

“You're crazy,” she laughed and it was music too my ears.

“You love it,” I said as we walked to the front and looked at the menu and then getting behind her I placed my hands on her hips and pushed it side by side.

“Go order,” I told her after a minute.

“I haven’t decided,” Michelle said.

“But you said,” I stated and saw her smile at me.

I only shook my head and placed it on her shoulder, “get up there,” I said and pushed her hips and walking behind her.

“How can I help you,” the lady behind the counter said.

“I’ll get a double double with cheese, and a chocolate shake,” She stated and then looked back at me as I came to her side but kept my arm around her waist.

“I’ll have the same but make mine a vanilla shake,” I stated and nodding she rang up our order and Michelle got a twenty out to pay but I stopped her, “I got it,” I said but she shook her head and handed the lady the twenty.

Taking her change I looked at her as she placed it in her pocket.

“What I offered,” she said like it was simple and I guess it was I just wasn’t use to it.

Picking up our order we went back to the outside patio I had been sitting at and sat down with our food and started to eat. We didn’t really talk about anything till a car went by and was playing FutureSex/LoveSounds with the bass turned up as loud as possible.

“Did you know your twin went into hiding,” she said making jump forgetting she was there for second.

“My Twin,” I asked.

Michelle smiled at me.

“Your look alike, you know the Timberlake,” she said and I laughed at what she called me, or rather the me on my birth certificate, I was Jason Sharp at the moment.

“Really, where you hear this,” I asked.

“My TV after work, they showed I think the guy’s name was Trace and some dark haired chick, saying how they were worried and that Justin’s mom was scared, but they just wanted to know that he was alright,” she said and inside I cursed myself.

I didn’t think of my mom the moment I ran out that day.

“I wonder where he really is,” she said more to herself.

“Staring at your face, and shitting himself for thinking of himself for once,” I said to myself as I took a fry and dipped it repeatedly in the pool of ketchup on my plate.

Today was my first day off and I sat there drumming my fingers on the counter to the kitchen I stood at, my sidekick was right next to me with my mom’s phone number lit up but not pushed in to be called.

Thinking about last night I smiled a little bit, we went to a movie after eating and it was weird walking in with everyone else and sitting in the middle of the theater, we had gone to see Simpsons and it was a riot, I remembered how surreal it felt as I walked behind her hold her hand as we walked through the crowd of the people getting out of the movie, and no one said a word.

“I could get use to this,” I said and looked at the phone again with a sigh, I couldn’t not call her if I didn’t my mom would end up trying to hunt me down.

Looking up at the time on the microwave I ran a hand through over my hair.

I pushed send into my phone and placed it on speaker phone.

“Justin,” I heard a voice, “Trace,” I said as my voice went dry, “Where the fuck are you, your mom and me and everyone are worried sick,” he said with anger in his voice and I knew I deserved it.

“Look Trace, I don’t know how to say it but just, my life got to me, I couldn’t be Justin Timberlake anymore,” I said.

“You can’t’ be what, Justin come on now you can’t just quit being who you are, you have deals, meetings you can’t back,” he started to say till I interrupted him.

“TRACE, that’s exactly what I mean, I can’t handle it, this was the only sane alterative I came up with,” I said and cringed when he said.

“SANE, Justin there isn’t nothing sane about this, you ran away and; what did you do,” He asked.

“I changed my name and got a job a couple miles away,” I said.

“How did you do that,” he asked.

“I made a deal with the people who ran the company,” I said and heard Trace groan.

“Justin you need to come home,” he said and shook my head than realized he couldn’t see me.

“No, Trace I can’t put my mom on the phone,” I said.

“Justin baby,” I heard her voice.

“Mama, I’m sorry but I need to be away right now, I can’t’ explain,” I started to mumble but jumped when she said, “It's ok baby, just knowing your ok it’s ok, take your time but please call me and let me know your safe,” she said.

“Thank you,” I smiled.

I hadn’t told them anything about where I’ve been or what I was exactly doing, and I could tell when Trace didn’t want to talk anymore he was pissed and I guess I could understand it was sort of like I had just abandoned him and our friendship.

With a sigh I was about to sit on the couch when my house phone rang.

“Hello,” I asked.

“Jason,” I heard her voice.

“Michelle, hey,” I smiled but cringed when I heard her use the name.

“You wanna get some ice cream and come with me to an Angel’s game,” she asked.

“Sure,” I said with a smile and somehow I knew either way it went this trip would prove to be interesting.

I told her I’d pick her up in an hour after she gave me directions and then hung up. Looking at my sidekick and then the house phone I realized I made sure she got that number and not my sidekick because I didn’t need to keep my sidekick on me just in case.

Turning it off I placed it in the kitchen drawer, this life was getting more complicated the more I looked at it, but something told me this was all worth it.

--

“Hey batter, batter you’re just a belly itcher,” I sang under my voice and I saw Jason looked up at me weirdly.

“A belly itcher,” he asked.

“Yea look,” I said pointing to a guy warming up whom than scratched his stomach, making him laugh.

“You got a point,” he said.

“I always do, “I shrug and pulled my bag on to my lap and handed him a bag of jelly beans and then pulled out some circus peanuts.

“You brought food to a baseball game,” he asked.

“Well not cotton candy or ice cream or hot dogs or burgers,” I felt Jason’s hand go over my mouth.

“I get it,” he said with a roll of his eyes and then he moved his hand away and I smiled at him really big.

“You're crazy, girl,” he stated with a laugh as he popped a couple Jelly beans into his mouth.

“Crazy is as crazy does,” I shrugged and he laughed again.

--

It was about the fifth inning when I felt someone staring at me, looking over my shoulder I saw no one and then looking in front of me I saw no one, even when I was just me I never really felt like this, shaking the feeling I took the hotdog Michelle got as she took the other one from the vendor with the sodas too.

“I thought you carried everything in there,” I said pointing to her bag that sat between her feet on the ground.

“I told you what I didn’t have earlier,” she said.

“You didn’t tell me you didn’t have soda,” I said as I took a sip of my sprite.

“You didn’t ask,” she shrugged as she pushed her straw up and down in her cup and drank her coke.

I shook my head and it was then I felt the staring again I tried to shake it off and then I saw a flash I heard a gasp and I knew my cover hand been blown, than I felt a hand on my arm making me jump.

“Look Jason were on the screen,” Michelle said and gasped and I than realized it was her who did it and the flash had been because it was getting dark and the lights had come on.

It was a break between innings and they had been panning the crowd with heart around them saying kiss the girl, while the song from the little mermaid played, don’t ask how I remembered where the song came from.

It had stopped and landed on us, and I started to laugh as the crowd shouted, “kiss, kiss, kiss.”

I looked over at Michelle who started to blush.

“Well sweet heart what ya say,” I said in my most New York accent I could muster making her burst with laughter.

She than leaned into me and I leaned to her and placed a kiss on her lips that the moment our lips touched I lost all sense of what was going on who I was around, she was the only one there, her and those lips.

Breaking apart to breath I heard cat calls and when I looked at the screen for a moment I saw a cartoon were the lady kissed the girl and the guys face turned into a wolf as he whistled and his eyes got big.

I turned to Michelle and kissed her again softly before she could open her eyes and I felt her smile against my mouth, “Cheater, they already left us,” she said but didn’t hesitate as I kissed her again and again, she than ran her hand up into my hair and pulled me away slightly.

“Whoa there bucko,” she whispered as she had my head placed against her forehead.

I just looked at her with a smile and hearing the crowd cheer as the players made their way back on to the field I rapped my arm around her neck and placed my hand on her shoulder. She than placed her head on my shoulder  and I put mine on top of hers.

We watched the game like if we had been watching from the living room of our say one of houses, or apartments as the case may be right now.

I took Michelle out to dinner after the game, she laughed at me when I smiled like I had one victory when I got to pay. Now I’m not for being the big mucho man and paying all the time. It just felt good to do it, and the way Michelle did it made me feel like I wasn’t famous, even though to her I wasn’t; but I rejoiced in that feeling.

The next day when I went out and bough food and didn’t see my face on any magazines made me feel like a kid in the candy store, over used expression I know, but what are you gonna do I said it so there.

As Michelle and I worked together over the next week once she had gotten back to the furniture department and sang Halleluiah making me laugh.

I realized something well I didn’t realize it, but I felt it whatever it was that every time I saw her lately every time I saw her lately or spoke to her I felt it, and made my feelings towards her fell wrong with what it was.

--

Jason seemed distant lately especially after the baseball game, maybe that kiss was a bad idea. Then again he was the one who kissed me; I only leaned in towards him. Plus he had kissed me again after the camera had moved away from us.

It was an amazing kiss I do have to say and I don’t regret it, I liked it, heck I like HIM, since he walked into my life that day I, no I couldn’t be. I’m not, it’s only been a month; it wasn’t part of the plan.

“You ok Shell,” I heard his voice as I looked up at him from the desk where I had been entertaining my thoughts.

“Yea,” I said giving him a smile and even though he smiled back at me his eyes looked at me in question like he didn’t quite believe me. “Anyways I need to go check this for that guest over them,” I pointed out. Getting up I walked to the back stock room with a sigh.

--

Something was up with her, did she know? “Nah,” I said out loud as I shook my head. Sitting down to look up something in the computer myself I heard a voice I recognized.

“It couldn’t,” I said but, it was I sighed Trace was in the store looking around and I knew no matter how I looked he would know so making sure he was face the opposite way I jumped from the desk, and made my way to the stock room, walking around looking around like I was gonna get caught I jumped when I heard her voice.

“Jason what’s wrong,” Michelle asked as I came to look at her down one of the isles of boxes.

“I umm,” I couldn’t say the truth I could let my cover be blown in the store.

I looked around one more time and went with the first think I thought of as I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t process clearly, all I could do was react, and boy at the time did I react.

To say I was surprised by Jason’s actions was an understatement I had gone out with my furniture order and helped the person out coming back to see him still in the back only now he was sitting in one of the bays with his hands on his head.

“Jason,” I asked making him jump.

“Michelle look I’m sorry for that I just; ok I cant do this anymore,” he said and pulled his wallet out and handed it to me.

“What,” I said taking the wallet from his hands not sure what he wanted.

“Look at my id,” he said.

Unfolding his wallet I stared at the picture that stared back at me, no longer was his hair dark and no longer where his eyes brown, and no longer were his eyebrows waxed, staring at me in the face as I read the information was none other than Justin Timberlake.

“What the hell,” I said looking away from the wallet to him and watched as he pulled the brown contacts out of his eyes and his blue eyes shown through, it was than he pulled up the sleeve of his work shirt to show his cross tattoo on his arm.

“I cant go out there, Trace is out there,” he said.

“Your best friend,” I asked remembering seeing one of his clothing line fashion shows in a magazine with Trace by his side and the one report since he had gone missing with Rachel by his side.

Jason, or should I say Justin nodded.

“Why, what I don’t know what I should say,” I said than touched my lips.

“Look I’m sorry I couldn’t think I didn’t want to tell you I was,” he started to say.

“You where afraid I was gonna blow your cover,” I asked.

“Yeah, I mean have you ever had enough where you couldn’t breath where you,” He said running his hands through his hair and as he moved his fingers through I could see the roots start to show.

“That’s usually when I take a vacation,” I said softly and he looked up at me.

“I’ve never had that luxury,” he stated and when I went to say something he held his hand up.

“I know I know, I can go wherever I want whenever I want, but you know its not the same when you come back or heck go to the grocery store while your away and see what you did last night on the cover of a magazine,” he said and I shrugged he did have a point there.

“But why here why this,” I asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I just picked something, most of the money is going to charity anyways,” he stated.

“And that makes it alright, that makes us alright,” I asked moving my hands around and flipping his wallet around.

“Michelle, I didn’t expect us honestly,” he said and took his wallet when I handed it to him and moved over when I sat next to him.

“I trusted you,” I said and he looked at me for a second with big eyes.

“You only knew my name was Jason Sharp and that I worked here,” He said.

I though for a moment and shook my head, “Jason Sharp was that the best could come up with,” I questioned.

He looked at me confused.

“A movie you did for Disney ring any bells,” I asked making him smiled as he remembered.

“No wonder why it sounded familiar,” he said and I pushed him.

“Where gonna be ok,” he asked and I shrugged.

“I cant say for sure Justin I really can’t I started to have feelings for you as someone else and know I’m not sure what they are,” I told him playing with my finger nails.

“Right, I guess I should go face Trace if he’s still here,” He told me but before he got up he looked at me and said, “Ever since that first time we hung out whenever you called me Jason it hurt, and I felt wrong for trying to keep the relationship going, and I just want to say it felt good when you called me Justin.”

I smiled and that was all I did as he waved and I turned my hand and waved back watching him first put the contacts back in his eyes and his wallet his back pocket.

“I need them to see,” he said as he looked at me one last time as he walked out of the stock room to face his fate.

--

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Michelle didn’t know where we stood, she took it better than I ever would have. Walking up front I saw Trace sitting at the furniture desk standing up when he saw me walking towards him.

“Justin,” he whispered.

I nodded and pulled him with me towards the break room.

Making sure no one was in there I pulled him inside and sat down and watched him sit next to me and just stare.

“What did you do go to every store till you found me,” I asked and he shook his head.

“I was driving around and I spotted your car, and since I know the license plate,” Trace said and I smiled.

“No brainier there,” I laughed but looked when he didn’t smile or laugh.

“Trace I’m honestly sorry man, I just don’t get me wrong I love my life but the constant want the constant need of being “Justin Timberlake,” I said quoting my name yea I’m a nerd get over it.

“It got to me,” I added with a sigh and Trace scratched at his head under his cap before he looked at me.

“Dude I understand that, but next time just let me know before acting like your gonna go off yourself,” He said pulling me in for a brotherly hug.

“Thanks,” I smiled pulling away when the door opened and I saw Michelle step in and stop.

“Michelle wait,” I said and stood up and introduced them.

She was nice and polite but the moment it was quiet she went to leave so I asked Trace if he could leave us alone for a second.

“Do you not want to be around me anymore,” I asked.

“I don’t know what I want anymore,” She said looking at me.

“I still care for you and I’m still sorry,” I said and she smiled at me placing her hand to my cheek.

“I know, and I forgive you its just I need sometime to think things through,” Michelle said and when she went to pull her hand away I held it there.

“Would I be out of line to say I think I’m falling,” I whispered.

She closed her eyes and nodded softly, “Sorry,” she said finally pulling her hand away.

“Don’t be, I placed myself in the situation not you, now I have to deal with it,” I said pulling her in for a quick hug before I headed out of the break room.

I waved a Trace and when he asked me about Michelle and I told him to just leave it alone for now as I made my way to the office, it was time I felt to get back to being me, and well more so than not give Michelle her chance to breath. With or without me as the case may be.

I don’t know long it had been and I don’t know how long I stared at the name tag that Justin had left and even though it read Jason I picture it as Justin. I had taken it off the break room table the day he left and placed it my purse and forgotten about till today when I cleaned it out and found it.

First I eyed me for an hour taunting me to look at it. Than I fingered around the engraved letters for about thirty minutes before I tossed it across the room.

That before I forgot about for awhile getting into the last bit of homework I had before summer came up. That was before I headed to the bathroom and stepped on it, while the pin part was out mind you and had to curse and scream as I pulled out of my bare foot.

Now with a banged left foot I held it in my grasp as I watched King of Queens and holding my cell phone in my other.

Justin had text me a couple days ago.

It held a lengthy apology and his actual house number which for some reason I had saved in my phone. For at least a day it was under Jack ass, than I changed it to Jay. I had the number and a picture of him I had taken from when he worked there as his contact id. It was than I clicked the delete button not on the number but of the picture.

I looked at the highlight number and pushed delete twice but ever time the phone asked if I really wanted to erase the contact I said no. The moment I did I would lose the connect I had, or whatever it was.

Finally I pushed send on the number and waited with a deep breath for whatever would happen.

His message machine picked up and it said, “Hey guys I’m in the middle of rehearsal for the summer tour sorry I couldn’t catch your call, You know what to do and if this is Shell girl I’ll say it thousand times I’m sorry, and I know if the shoes where crossed I’d do the same. No hard feelings. Peace,” I heard the beep and I got so catch up in the message that I forgot to start talking till I actually heard someone pick up and say hello.

“Justin,” I questioned.

“Shell,” I heard back and I smiled.

“Hey,” I said softly and feel so shy now.

“I’m glad you called,” he said and I heard his sincere sorry in his voice in my ears again and his voice now.

“Me too, and hey jay,” I said making him chuckle.

“Your forgiven, and umm,” should I say it should I say I missed him.

Did I even have the right to that?

“Shell, could I ask you something,” he questioned me in the middle of my mind rant.

I nodded before I realized I was still on the phone.

“Yea,” I said softly shaking my head at how teenager I had become.

“Would you come visit me,” he asked.

“Justin, I… where are you,” I said a second later.

“ I’m at home,” he said and I heard someone in the background and him telling them to leave the room or quiet down.

“Like California home,” I questioned.

“Like Tennessee home,” he said.

“I’ll be honest Justin, I would like to but finals are coming up and,” I started say till I heard him clear his throat.

“That’s fine I understand,” he said and someone how even if he had lied to me even if I had considered him a jackass and didn’t know how it would work with us when I found the truth I still wanted to hug him when I hear the sound of defeat in his voice.

“Justin,” I question and hearing him mumble a mhmm in response I licked my lips and took a breath.

“How about I come in a week when finals are done,” I said and I swear I heard the noise of his lips move into a smile when he answered back.

“Really,” he question.

“Yea, I should be done this Thursday how about Saturday I come out,” I said.

“Good I’ll book you a,” he started till I said his name.

“Let me do it ok,” I mentioned and heard him say ok back softly and we chatted some more and I told him at least twice he was forgiven and than I ended the call with telling him I’d call him back with my flight info when I got it.

Sitting there with the phone in one hand his name tag in the other I got up and pushed the foot pedal to my trash can and dropped the name tag in there.

The past was the past after all right?

With that I turned and headed to my room to get on the computer to look around for plane tickets.

I sat at the back of the plane waiting for the people to exit so I could stand up and make my way out, Trace was suppose to pick me up and we were gonna meet Justin at his mom’s house.

Pulling my bag over my shoulder, I took a deep breath as I made my way down the aircraft and out into the airport.

Walking towards baggage claim I saw a newsstand with a tabloid, with Justin on the cover.

“What Justin did while he was missing,” I read and stopped and picked up the life and style magazine.

Opening I found the page the story was on and tried not to laugh, “Justin’s trip to rehab,” I read the titled and saw pictures of him that were obliviously recent of him out in the Tennessee country side.

“This is totally worth it,” I said placing the money down to buy the magazine and tried to read the article at the same time I dodged other travelers only to end up running into a giant man.

“I’m so sorry,” I said looking up at the man but saw Trace laughing next to him.

“Don’t worry about him, it should be you, we should worry be worried about,” He said making me chuckle.

“Michelle,” I said holding out my hand to I guessed was one of the bodyguards.

“Dre,” he said smirking and giving Trace the evil eye.

“What are you reading,” I heard Trace question.

“Oh nothing just about Justin’s trip to rehab,” I said holding out the magazine to Trace since I had just finish reading it.

“Your kidding,” He said.

I shook my head, “ I never buy those things but that story made it worth it, since well ya know,” I said with a wiggle of my eyebrows.

Dre chuckled at my comment making me take in he probably knew what had really happened.

“OH, Justin is gonna get a kick out of this,” trace said as he read it.

“ I thought so,” I laughed but as we picked up my luggage and got out I felt the butterflies in my stomach start to fly as I sat in the back of the SUV and buckle up. Would our relationship be the same, no probably not would it be strange would it work out even as friends we once were?

--

I had gotten a text from Trace saying they were on their way and if I hadn’t felt like I was gonna puke before I really wanted to run to the bathroom now. I didn’t know what to think I didn’t know how I was gonna act around her, how I should act.

How was she gonna act around me.

“Fuck,” I blew out a breath and grabbed my head as I sat on the couch looking at the TV that had been on mute for last hour and a half.

“You ok in there Hunny,” I heard my mom say from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” I said letting go of my head but not the factor that I was freakin out beyond belief.

I wanted things go back to normal, but I wasn’t sure what was normal. But I had a plan if I could get her to be comfortable with me again I was planning to see if she wanted to spend sometime with me out on tour, she was going for a A.A. in sound after all so what harm could being on tour do.

I don’t know where the time between me and my heart racing and being able to calm myself went, because it was out the window when I heard the SUV pull up the driveway.

“Honey where home,” Trace called out as he wheeled what I assumed was Michelle’s suitcase behind him.

“Trace do you not know how to knock anymore,” my dad said from his easy chair in the dining room part near the door.

“Not when Justin gave me a key,” he said and I saw the look on my Dad’s face but we only laughed since it was all in joke.

When I saw her walk into the house my laughter stopped as Trace and my Dad still bickered on like they always did with each other.

“Hey,” I said coming up to her.

“Hey,” she smiled and adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

Seeing that Trace had left her suitcase by the door I took it and told her to follow me up the stairs.

“Is that normal,” she asked me watching my dad and Trace.

“Yea, its all in fun spirit though I do it with his dad,” I shrugged.

“Ah,” she said as I lead her the guest room.

“So this is your room for as long as your here for, which by the way you never said,” I questioned as she placed her carry on bag on the dresser and sat on the bed.

“I never booked a return one,” she said.

“Why not,” I questioned sitting down next her but not to close still unsure of our boundaries.

“I don’t know,” she laughed making me chuckle.

“Well its not a big deal if that makes you feel any better, I’m gonna be here for a good month and a half and your welcome here that long and longer, if my ma likes you enough I ended up with a tease which made her laugh, thank God,” I said to myself.

I watched her leg bounce as silence came over the room.

“I let you get unpacked and comfortable,” I said patting her leg and getting up making it to the door when I felt her hand on my wrist grab me back.

I saw her look at my hand but not at me, “What is it Shell,” I asked her.

“I don’t know if its right but, I wanted to let you know I missed you,” she said.

“You have the right,” I told her bringing her to hug her, my body finally relaxing in what felt like forever.

“You do too,” I heard her say.

“I do what,” I questioned.

“The right,” she said.

“Well I did miss you,” I told her making her smile a bit.

“Justin,” she questioned as I held my hands at her sides.

“Yea,” I asked as she brought her hands up around my neck but placing one on my cheek she smiled at me.

“I’m glad I came,” told me making me smile back at her.

“Are you sure you’ll stay that way,” I questioned lightly making her laugh as she nodded her head.

“Can I tell you something,” she questioned.

“Anything,” I said but at the same moment I heard my mom call me to come help her.

“Can it wait,” I asked her and saw her nodded but some how the little bit of sparkle that I saw on her face when she was in my arms seemed to disappear the moment I let her go.

“I’ll be right back,” I told her and she smiled as she nodded and brought her suit case up on her bed and start to unpack.

--

I had been there for about two weeks and our little conversation never had its chance to start up again. Justin had been busy at daily rehearsal and promos for his new tour and album that was in mid progress the album was suppose to come out mid tour.

He was also trying to explain the whole disappearance thing without bringing it out in the open all of it including me. Or that’s what he said, but he did get a laugh out of the rehab story that I had shared.

Right now I was helping Lynn in the kitchen as she talked about some of the trouble Justin did as a kid, even if it wasn’t much.

“He didn’t,” I asked as I placed the silverware out on the table.

“Yes, he got a week for that,” she exclaimed as she handed me stack of plates.

“You know my mom would have given me a month for that,” I said.

Lynn only nodded as she helped with setting out glasses.

“You love my son don’t you,” she asked as she handed me the ice tea pitcher to set on the table which I almost dropped.

“I…,” I said not really coming up with anything.

“I can see it honey, don’t be scared of it,” she said patting my back and letting go of the pitcher and heading towards the back yard to check on Paul who was grilling some ribs.

“Love, him,” I questioned myself as I placed the tea on the table and looked at the mirror on the wall that lead to the downstairs hallway.

I took a breath and closed my eyes, jumping when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Whoa there, tiger,” Trace laughed making me smile.

“Sorry Trace I zoned out and you scared me,” I said making him chuckle.

“You know he loves you back right,” he said making me look at him.

“Where you listening to what Lynn was saying to me,” I questioned and he shook his head and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Look girlie, he could have easily avoided me seeing him and I would have left, he gave up the act for you,” Trace said.

“What,” I asked.

“He couldn’t take you calling him Jason, he couldn’t take lying to you when he fell so deep,” he told me, as he rubbed my shoulder and winked at me as he walked away.

“He loves me,” I questioned and I saw Trace turn and nodded hearing me as he went to helping take things off the grill.

Justin had been home all week and so had I but we never really said anything in regards to our feelings at least not that well we loved each other in that regard. We hung out with his family and went to lunch and to the creek yesterday.

I guess you pretty much could say that we got to know each other again as Justin and instead of well we all know how that was and it was in the past now no need to dwell on it.

It was about midnight and the house was quiet as I made my way down stairs and went to go to the kitchen when I ran into something making me curse and groan in pain my big toe being hit by something.

“You ok,” I heard making me jump but the moment he let out a chuckle I knew who it was.

“Justin what are you doing down here,” I asked him.

“I was just getting a midnight snack,” he said opening the fridge to show that he had a banana in his hand.

“How bout you come over to the island before I close this, we don’t want you to break a foot now,” he smiled.

“Shut up,” I said with a glare but not really being to serious about the matter as I made my way to sit down on at the table, instead of the island.

“You want anything while I’m up,” he questioned making me look over at him.

“Water,” I said.

“Coming up,” he said making me smirk as felt my eyes finally adjust to the different lighting in the kitchen and the darkness that had come over once he close the fridge and I started making patterns with my fingers on the table.

“Water,” he said placing it down in front of me.

“Thanks,” I said softly not looking up either.

“Was there a reason besides thirst that brought you down here,” Justin asked.

“I couldn’t really sleep,” I said looking up at him and watching is reaction than grabbing the bottle I unscrewed the cap and took a drink as I watched him place the peel on the table and swallowed what he was eating.

“Any particular reason,” he questioned.

Looking up at him I shrugged, “Not really,” I said.

“Why you still up,” I asked him.

“I’m waiting on Trace,” Justin said.

“Your what, why,” I questioned.

“He, um,” Justin started to say till he heard the door open up.

“Trace that you,” Justin said getting up from the table quickly as he threw his banana peel away and I watched him and looked at him funny.

“Yeah, why,” Trace asked as he put his jacket in the closet.

“I just,” Justin looked back and looked at me quickly and than I saw him look at Trace and whisper something in his ear.

I saw Trace nod but when Justin said something he laughed and shook his head.

“Just go to bed Justin,” Trace said walking towards the kitchen and grabbed a water of his own out.

Justin looked at us than at the stairs than at me for a moment before he growled and ran his throw his hair before he hopped up the steps.

“What the heck,” I said and looked over at Trace as he laughed.

“Seriously, he said he was waiting up for you,” I said and Trace shook his head and laughed.

“He was trying to get the nerve,” he said.

“The nerve,” I asked him.

“That’s all I can say, lets just say it involves you and him,” Trace said.

“Trace,” I said and he just laughed and walked towards the stairs waving goodnight.

Rolling my eyes I chugged down the rest of my water out of boredom before got up to throw the bottle away and headed towards the stairs.

As I got closer to my room I saw the light under his door flickering making it seem like maybe he was watching the TV.

I stopped at my door and kept looking at his.

“Just tell him already this is ridiculous,” I heard Trace say before he closed his door.

I sighed as I walked over to the door and stopped at it before I softly knocked on it.

--

“Its open,” I heard said hearing a knock on my door.

Opening the door Michelle stood there and watched me watch her for a second before I waved my hand.

“C’mere,” I said and patted my hand to the empty side of the bed.

She sat down on it but didn’t really turn to face me.

“Did you need something, or want something,” I questioned muting the TV and turning towards her.

Michelle shook her head still not turning around.

“Shell,” I questioned placing my hand on her shoulder.

“I lied,” she mumbled finally turning just her head to look at me.

“About what,” I questioned and she turned her body towards me.

“There was a reason why I was up,” She said

“That was,” I asked.

“There is something I wanted to tell you,” She said.

“Ok,” I nodded.

“Justin, This might sound weird but I couldn’t sleep because I thought of something my mom read from Dr. Seuss once,” She explained and I had to smile because I knew exactly what she meant knowing the saying myself and I said it allowed before she had a chance.

“You know you’re in love when you cant fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams.” I asked making her mouth hang open and than she nodded.

“Do you agree with the Doctor,” Michelle asked me.

“More than I believed in any dream,” I told her and saw her smile at me.

I watched her for a second before I brought my hand up to her cheek.

“I love you Michelle,” I told her.

“I love you too Justin,” She said and I smiled against her lips as I pressed my lips to hers.

She pulled back and looked at me, “No more playing Houdini as someone else,” she asked making me chuckle.

“I have no were else I’d rather be,” was all I said as I pulled her towards me and kissed her and she kissed me.