I laid in my bed with my arms wrapped around her, holding on to her tightly taking in her scent and just enjoying the peace and quiet. I took in how great it felt to have her in my arms and knew that it was only a matter of minutes before she woke up. I let out a sigh when I felt her move against me because I knew that meant she was awake and she’d leave.

“Come on, let go of me, I have to go” she whined and I gently released my grip. She stood up quickly and threw her clothes on as if she were in a rush, she’s always in a rush even when she has nowhere to go. I moved to my side and watched her carefully. She really is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She’s real beautiful, not any of that fake crap. She looks amazing in the movies and the magazines but just as good when she wakes up in the morning. “You’re like creepy, just watching me” she quickly pulled a sweatshirt on, “This means nothing. We’re not back together.”

I nodded my head “I know.”

“No, you don’t know because you’re going to see me out in a few days and get pissed off when I’m talking to another guy.” She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes when I didn’t say anything, “You don’t have anything to say?”

“I’m not, what do you want me to say? There’s no convincing you.”

“Did you call me a car?”

I shook my head and stood up, pulling a pair of sweatpants over my naked body; “I’ll take you home.”

“Great” she said sarcastically as she pulled her long light brown hair out of her face, “Come on, hurry up.”

I grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it over my head as I followed downstairs. I saw my best friend Trace, along with my assistant or my cousin Carrie and my security guard Jim sitting on the couch watching Food Network. All three of them looked up as she walked past and then right back down at the television. They all hate her. They think she’s using me and I’m too good for her. I think I’m a big boy and can make my own choices. Addison walked past them without acknowledging their presence whatsoever. That’s what they hate about her, she never gives them as much as a hello. Although I don’t see them jumping up to offer her a good morning hug either. “I’ll be back,” I said softly giving them a look. Carrie rolled her eyes, Jim nodded his head and Trace put his fingers shaped like a gun to his head.

“Oh my God J, just like… take forever.”

“I’m coming.”

“Very chivalrous, you could have unlocked the door,” she said as she stood outside by the door waiting.

“You don’t want to take the convertible?” I smiled to myself. Sometimes it’s just fun to annoy her because she really gets annoyed more than any other person I’ve ever met.

“I’m not driving in that, get a life.”

I nodded my head and unlocked the door to my Escalade. Addison won’t go in the convertible because then we would be seen together… and we couldn’t have that. It was only a few months ago that the only reason why we took the convertible was so everyone would see us. But not anymore, now if even one camera caught us together the sun just may explode.

“I hate how they’re always there” she said as I drove out of the driveway, “Can’t they get their own lives or what? They have to live through you.”

“Carrie’s my assistant, that’s her job. Jim is security, that’s his job too. Trace is my best friend we spend time together. You spend time with Jenna” Jenna is her best friend slash twin. Not literal twin but you would think they are since they do every damn thing together. I don’t think Addison can do anything without calling up Jenna to see if it’s a good idea, at least that’s true with her and getting work.

“Oh please, not nearly as much as you spend with Trace. Plus Jenna has a life. She has other friends and a job that doesn’t involve following her best friend around like a lost puppy.”

“He has other friends, and a job Addison, don’t start shit.”

“Whatever. And you don’t need Jim and Carrie there all the time. Stacy doesn’t live with me and spend every fucking minute with me.”

“She’s not family. Carrie’s my fucking cousin,” the actual reason why Stacy doesn’t live with her and spend every minute with her is because she can’t stand her. Addison is definitely one of those girls that know what she’s got. She knows she’s hot and she’s a successful actress with people willing to do whatever it is she needs and she takes advantage of it. If I let them, people would do anything I want as well but I don’t. I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point where I can’t do my own laundry. But then again, I was brought up in a small southern family and she’s part of Hollywood royalty. Her father is a famous director, her mother’s a famous actor, and her grandfather was an actor, her grandmother a model and so on. Whenever another Grenadine child is born the world is ready for another great member of the entertainment industry.

“They stare me down like I’m Norman Bates.”

I heard myself laugh, “You could have said something to them.”

“If I would have said something I would have told them all to get their own lives. And Carrie would have fucking attacked me; she’s such a tomboy. Does she own a skirt? Seriously.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” it always seems to go back to that with Carrie. So what if she’s a tomboy. What’s so wrong with that?

“She doesn’t” Addison laughed, “You should buy her a fucking dress. Hell, I’ll buy her a fucking dress. I hate the girl but I would buy her a fucking skirt so she could be less manly just one day in her life.”

“Alright, calm down she’s my cousin. What are you doing today?” I changed the subject because I knew she could go on verbally attacking my cousin all day.

“Leno.”

“At three, so what’s your rush to get home?” I knew by the way I asked it she'd attack me but at the rate the day is going I’m not too worried.

“I have an interview at noon. And I don’t want to spend time at your fucking house with you and your three blind mice.”

“I’m doing Leno tomorrow.”

“Wow really?” she answered, “I almost care.”

I ignored her sarcasm, “Do you want to get breakfast or something?”

“Are you serious?” Addison laughed, “J, we’re not dating.”

“I never said we were.”

“So why would I go out to breakfast with someone that’s not my boyfriend?”

“Because you’re hungry?” I know that’s the reason why I want to get breakfast, because I’m hungry.

“And then everyone and their mother would see us and we’ll be in every fucking magazine.”

“So, Ken would love that” I played along. We have the same publicist and since she has a movie coming out soon I’m positive he would love it.

“I don’t give a fuck about Ken” she shook her head.

“We could go somewhere that no one is?” she rolled her eyes “So that’s a no?”

“Yes, it’s a fucking no dumbass. Just take me home.”

“I don’t understand why we can’t get breakfast somewhere away from LA that no one will see us.”

“Someone will see us.”

“What does it matter even if someone does see us? You have a movie coming out in two days.”

“Because we’re not dating. I don’t want my face on the cover of every magazine next to you. Why is that so hard for you to understand?” she took a deep breath, “We should not have hooked up last night.”

“What?”

“What?” she asked out of disbelief with a chuckle, “You’re so stupid sometimes.”

“How am I stupid Addison?”

“You don’t get it. We should not have hooked up because that can never be enough with you. You follow me around like a fucking lost puppy, it’s like you’re always there. You like, fall so fast and you want to spend every minute with me. You can’t just have fun you have to be with someone forever. Buying flowers and cuddling and fucking… cooking, you’re such a dork when it comes to that shit. Like you have no clue what you’re doing.”

I looked away from her, that hit below the belt, “Some girls like to be romanced” I answered softly.

“It’s not romance. It’s like annoying obsession. Get over it, it’s over.”

“I’m over it Addison, it was just sex” I answered honestly.

“You’re so not over it. You want to get fucking breakfast.”

“I’m hungry.”

“Then stop on your way home, don’t drag me with you. You don’t have breakfast with a girl that’s not your girlfriend.”

I let out a chuckle, “And I’m the one that’s not over this?”

“Oh my God, can you drive any faster?” she rolled her eyes, “This is why we’re not together anymore.”

“Is it? Because you won’t let me buy you breakfast.”

Addison shook her head and looked out the window, “It’s like not even worth it” she stopped when we got closer to her house and noticed paparazzi around her house, “Fuck. Don’t put down the window.”

I took a deep breath, “Why the fuck would I put down the window?”

“I don’t know you’ve done dumber things.” I ignored her and pulled through the gate and up her driveway.

“It’s been a pleasure, like always,” I said sarcastically with a laugh.

“Yeah, fuck off,” she slammed the door shut and I was backing out of the driveway before she even made it to her house.

Like I’ve said… she’s a crazy bitch but for some damn reason she gets me every time.

I walked into my house after a day of interviews, threw my keys on the table by the door and went right to the stairs, ready to pass out. It’s been a long day; I hate going to interviews and answering the same questions over and over again.

“He’s just going to walk right by me and act like I didn’t just spend four hours on a plane to see him.” The voice made me stop in my tracks and I felt a smile cover my face just hearing her.

I turned around and walked back downstairs, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Lake,” she said as she stood up off my couch and started walking towards me.

“I forgot you were coming Jules” I pulled her into a tight hug, “It’s good to see you.”

“Gee thanks, it’s good to know our friendship is so forgettable,” she said with a smile as she pulled away.

“When did you get in?”

“A couple hours ago. Thank god Trace and Carrie came to pick me up or I’d still be waiting out there since you forgot all about me.”

“Let it go Jules. I’ve been so busy with all my shit. I hardly even remember my own name”

“Mmmhmm” she smiled as I sat down next to her on the couch, “So, do you always come home and go right to bed without even acknowledging anyone else?”

I ran my hand over my shaved head and down my face and looked at her. She’s always been one to give me a hard time. I knew she was coming in but I honestly didn’t even remember it was today or what day it even is for that matter. “Yup.”

“Yeah, he ignores us all the time. Whether it’s when he’s coming home after work or with Addison, or when he’s leaving the next morning with Addison,” Trace said with a smile.

OK… here it comes, “You’re still with Addison? I thought you broke up.”

“We did,” I answered.

She gave me a look and then she looked at Trace, and then back at me, “So then it should have been in past tense, right Trace? He ignored you when he left with Addison.”

“Nah, its pretty much present tense,” Trace answered and I took that as my cue to change the subject quickly.

I stood up and stretched my arms over my head, “Did you guys eat yet?”

“Why am I the only one that’s completely confused?” Julie asked.

“Because you don’t live out here. Everyone else moved out here but you didn’t want to, so now you’re out of the loop Jules, face the facts” I smiled as I walked into the kitchen.

“They broke up but she still sleeps over sometimes” Carrie spoke up and I shook my head, why everyone is so obsessed with my sex life is beyond me.

“That’s cute” Julie said with a smile as she sat down on the kitchen counter, “What, you cook too?”

“Ah… I do” I laughed, “But not tonight, do you want to go somewhere?”

“I’m going to go with no” Trace answered, “Dude, there’s like 20 people outside.”

I nodded my head; I don’t really feel like dealing with that shit tonight either, “Want to order something? Go swimming?”

“That’s fine, I’m up for whatever.”

The four of us grew up together back home in Memphis. We were pretty much inseparable most of our childhood. Trace moved out here with me first and the two girls stayed home. Then Carrie quickly realized that college life wasn’t for her and she moved out here. But Jules made it through college, and then grad school. She’s a smart girl. Even though I wish she would have been a drop out like everyone else and just moved out here a long time ago. But it’s cool that she has her own goals and is doing her own thing.

I took a sip from my beer as we sat outside by the pool, “So you’re done with school, huh Jules?”

“Yup” she smiled as she bit at the skin by her fingernail.

“That must feel good.”

“You have no idea” she smiled.

“Now the job hunt begins.”

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that.”

“Where are you going to look? Up here?” I asked with a smile, even though I already know the answer. She nodded her head and I felt myself laugh, “Are you serious?”

She nodded her head again and took a sip from her beer, “I miss you guys too much. Home is shitty without everyone.”

“So that’s why you’re here then? I see how it is. You’re not here to see me, you’re here to look for a job.”

“Please Lake, I was never here just to see you” she rolled her eyes as she pulled her legs up to her chest, “You’re so cocky it never amazes me. The world does not revolve around you.”

“Are you sure?” I asked with a smile.

“Positive” she punched my arm. She always likes to call me out as being cocky or spoiled. She always has. Even before all this shit, back when we were kids playing kickball in the yard she’d be the first to call me out.

“So what can you do for a job? You can work up here with Lohan and everyone in group therapy for AA.”

“I could… but I’m not really one for helping out the obnoxious celebrities like yourself” she answered with a smile.

“HA. I’m just saying there’s got to be a big need for that shit out here.”

“I bet. I want to do child therapy.”

“Which is what? Helping out the obnoxious children of the rich obnoxious celebrities?”

“No, I want to help the kids without all the privileges.”

“Like…?”

“Kids from broken homes, single parents, foster homes, parents with drug problems, children of divorce like you” she smiled.

I laughed as I stretched my arms over my head, “If only you were around when I was going through that shit.”

“I was.”

“That’s true” I nodded my head. Even though I was only… what? Seven when my parents got a divorce, it still takes a toll on you. My parents still remained close, for the most part, but there’s still a part of you at every age that thinks you were the main reason for their divorce. I’ve always been so close to my mother that she made sure I didn’t feel that way. But there’s always a part that does, it’s just the way it is.

Even at the age of seven Julie was there for me during the divorce. Even though the truth was she had no idea what I was going through she made me feel like she did. Looking back I don’t understand how she knew what to say when she was seven years old. Her parents were and still are the perfect little couple. The point is she’s been doing this since she was a kid, just like I’ve been doing my thing since I was. Some people grow up having no idea what they want to do with their life. Just like it was crystal clear for me it was crystal clear for Jules.







Hyde was one of those places that it paid to be famous. If you’re on the list you’re taken care of, in every way possible. Anything you want is yours. Drinks, food, girls, drugs, if you’re on the list you get what you want.

I’m on the list.

I walked into the club with Trace, Carrie and Jim, I guess you could call them my entourage, and walked right into the VIP section. I sat down on a couch and grabbed a drink from the waitress. It wasn’t more than two minutes later that a group of girls came up to us and smiled, giving me those eyes similar to the ones a puppy gives you when they want to be adopted. “What’s up?” I asked politely.

“Hey” one of them smiled as she played with her necklace grazing down to her cleavage. These girls know exactly what they’re doing. I will never understand what it is that would make them go into a club and just come up to me and start rubbing all over me and kissing me when they don’t even know me. I guess I’m just not one of the Hollywood kids, but I’m actually proud to say that. I think it’s a little disgusting. I like my girls classy not trashy. Before I knew it the girl’s lips were attached to my neck and her hand was slowly finding it’s way to my pants, “Sweetie, slow down. What’s going on?”

She ignored me completely and continued her licking and nibbling. Although I am a man and believe me when I say I’m into that stuff, it just looses its appeal when you don’t even know the girl’s name. I’ve never been one to fool around with strangers and I’m quickly finding out that I’m one of the few people that actually come to clubs to dance.

I stood up and tried to nicely push her off me but she wasn’t getting it. Finally she moved away, gave me a look like I just killed her cat and moved on to her next victim, another Hollywood player more likely to give her the attention she wants.

I walked to the bar and ordered a Jack, leaning against the bar when I felt a hand on my back. I took a deep breath before turning around, fully expecting yet another 50 cent whore to be standing there unable to talk. I was surprised to see the one and only Addison Grenadine with a smile on her face. I had never met her before, and honestly I was surprised at how beautiful she was in person. I’ve been in this city long enough to realize that so many of these beautiful girls are not so beautiful without all their makeup and airbrushing. In fact, I’ve seen hotter girls back home at Wal-Mart. I was nervous to meet her, although as soon as I did I felt as if I had known her for my entire life. She’s just one of those girls that makes you feel comfortable right away.

Her smile made me smile and although I had always thought she was way out of my league there was something about her standing in front of me that made me believe that I may actually have a chance with her.

“Justin Timberlake” she said as she played with the olive in her martini.

“Addison Grenadine.”

“The one and only” she giggled, “It’s a pleasure” she held her hand out and I grabbed it.

“The pleasure is all mine.”

She smiled and leaned back against the bar, “I hear you signed on for Crunch Time.”

“I did” I took a sip from my drink, “I’m excited to work with you.”

“Are you?”

“I am.”

“Well I’m excited to work with you as well. You better not make me look bad Timberlake” she gave me a grin, “You know I only work with the best.”

I chuckled, “I only work with the best as well.”

“You got the best, don’t worry,” she laughed, “Do I have the best?”

“You sure do.”

“Good” she smiled when two of her friends came over giggling. Jenna Sinatra I noticed right away. She’s another one of the Hollywood It Girl crew. Yes, she is related to THE Sinatra. If my memory is correct she and Addison grew up together and have been best friends since kindergarten. I recognized the other girl but couldn’t think of her name. She was a model; I know that much, but not really one that’s a household name. Although I’m sure she will be soon.

“Justin Timberlake.”

“Jenna Sinatra” I answered with a smile, “How are you?”

“I’m good Timberlake, fan-fucking-tastic” she giggled, clearly she’s had her drink on for awhile, “How are you?”

“I’m great, thank you,” I laughed.

“This is Lexi Spade” Addison said as the other girl held her hand out, of course it’s Lexi Spade, Kate Spade’s daughter, “Remember her name” she laughed.

“I will remember her name.”

“Good, then you’ll be one of the few that can say you knew her when…” Addison said and the other girls laughed, “We’re going to go… have fun” she smiled, “I’ll see you at the read through next week” she quickly downed her drink, “Lay-ta” she left before giving me a chance to respond. She seems like a nice enough girl. And she’s known for being a girl next-door type. She’s also known for her legs and I could slap myself for not getting a good look at them as she stood next to me. I think this will be a fun movie to shoot working with her. And it will sure be an interesting three months of shooting.



“Hello? Earth to Justin” I heard Jules and I snapped out of my daze. It was almost two years ago when I first met Addison. And every time I see her I still feel like it’s the first time. I still get excited and just find myself staring at her. It’s been two fucking years. We dated. We broke up. She’s a bitch, possibly the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. She’s spoiled and high maintenance and she has serious mental issues. But still, when she walks into a room my head is turning like the rest of the room, “Lake” Jules sang my name as I looked at her for the first time.

“Yeah, what?”

“You’re like, zoned out completely” she laughed, “Do you want another drink?”

“I’m good.”

She sat down next to me and followed my gaze and then I heard her laugh, “Oh my gosh, the one and only.”

Julie has never met Addison. It’s not that I purposely tried to distance them but Julie was always busy with school. I tried to get Addison to come back home too many times. She would laugh in my face at the mention of it. I doubt she would be able to last more than a couple hours in a house without her own personal bathroom and butler. I’m glad now that she never came home because I know she would have made those days a living hell.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

I looked over at Julie, meeting her in the eye, “You don’t want to meet her.”

“Yeah I do. Why wouldn’t I? She’s the love of your life, right?” she smiled.

I laughed and shook my head, “Not exactly Jules.”

“That’s not what I heard” she smiled.

“Yeah, well if you get your information from Trace then you have a problem.”

“Well… she is really pretty” I caught myself looking at Addison and quickly looked back at Julie.

She was looking at her carefully and I laughed, “She is.”

“Did she really get her legs insured for two million dollars?” Julie turned her gaze back on me. I nodded my head and she laughed, “How does that work exactly? Like if she breaks her leg she gets money? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Why not? She paid for it.”

“I guess,” she said softly and I laughed.

“Are you ready to go?”

She nodded her head, “Where’s everyone else?”

“Trace is with his girlfriend.”

She looked at me for a second, “Trace has a girlfriend?”

“Girl, you have been gone too long” I laughed as I stood up.

“What about Carrie?”

“She’s going home with that guy” I nodded over so she would see the guy that Carrie was talking to.

Julie looked over and then back at me, “You’re just going to let her leave with some random guy?” I shrugged, “Lake, she’s your cousin. You can’t just let her go home with some random guy.”

I laughed as I walked away and then stopped when I realized she was not following me, “He’s not a random guy.”

“They’re dating?”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s dating.”

Her mouth dropped, “Are you seriously telling me that Carrie has like a fuck buddy?” I shook my head and laughed as I continued walking,

“Hollywood ruins people.”

“Ruins? She’s having fun.”

“Carrie does not have fun with random guys.”

“He’s not a random guy,” I repeated for the tenth time as we made our way outside met by a sea of flashes.

“Ugh, another day in the life of Justin Timberlake” she said as she covered her eyes from the flashes.

“You do know we’re going to be married in all the magazines next week” I said once we got in the car.

“Yeah it’s cool, maybe my mom will leave me alone for a little” she chuckled.

I was running late. I hate to be running late. It’s my first movie, my first read through and I’m late for it. I quickly pulled into a parking spot, grabbed my script from the passenger’s seat and jogged into the building. I’m nervous enough as it is. I’ve wanted to do a movie for a while, and I’ve honestly got plenty of scripts. But almost all of them were some lame ass chick flick. I don’t watch click flicks why would I want to be in one? I want to be taken seriously as an actor which is going to be hard enough in a movie as good as this one.

Crunch time is one of those running from the law movies. Addison plays my girlfriend and we’re a scam team, working our way across the country. It’s a funny script too, there’s a lot of humor in it. It’s really an amazing script; I hope we can pull it off… I hope I can pull it off, I know Addison can.

Addison’s been acting professionally since she was about ten. She only did a few movies while she was a kid and took it more seriously by the time she reached the age of eighteen. It was ten years since then and she’s been in more movies than I can count. It’s in her blood, that’s for sure. The first film star is related to her. Her father’s a director; her mother’s an actress. Her older brother is opening up a production company and her sister is at NYU studying film.

I walked into the room and there were very few people there. I thought maybe I had the wrong room, checked my watch to see I was ten minutes late, and looked around probably like a seven year old lost at the mall. “Come on in Mr. Timberlake.”

“Justin” I corrected her, I hate when people call me Mr. Timberlake, especially when they’re at least double my age. Mr. Timberlake is my father and I never want to be called Mr. Timberlake in my life. It doesn’t show respect, it makes me feel old.

“Sorry, Justin” she corrected herself, “You can have a seat right over there, can I get you something to drink? Something to eat?”

“I’m all set, thank you, what did you say your name was?” I said as I looked over at the table of food and drink no more than five feet away from me,

“Jackie”

“Nice to meet you Jackie, I’m sorry I’m late, I lost track of time.”

“You’re… one of the first ones here” she said with a smile as she walked away. I guess this acting thing is different from what I’m used to. I have to be on time. If I’m late I’ll miss sound check and then I’ll sound like shit. If I’m late to an interview they write shit about me, if I’m late to a talk show they talk to someone else. I’m used to having to be on time. I guess that’s what’s different. Here if you’re late you just make everyone else wait, although I guess everyone comes late so it doesn’t matter.

I sat quietly looking over my script and realized that I was the only one here besides some people that have a total of ten lines. I guess being told read through at two really means read through at three thirty. It wasn’t until three thirty that Addison walked in. She waved at me and smiled as she walked in and talked to Jackie, still wearing her sunglasses. That was the first thing that I noticed when she walked in that she still was wearing her sunglasses. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves when people wear their sunglasses inside. The only excuse to wear sunglasses is if you have a black eye, pink eye or you’re stoned. And she’s none of those… I shouldn’t say that, I don’t know yet. Then I looked down at her legs, this time it was impossible not to look at them. She wore a pair of those short sweatpants shorts with the words on the ass and a tank top. Her blonde hair was up in a messy bun and she wasn’t wearing any makeup- or it she was it was very little. That is the kind of sexy I like. I like the girls that look hot in sweats and no makeup. That’s sexy to me.

“What’s up J?” Addison smiled as she sat down next to me, “Ya ready?”

“I’m ready,” I said as I fumbled with the script in front of me.

“You look nervous as fuck,” she laughed as she pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head.

“Do I really?” I asked with a chuckle, shit I’m not as good at hiding it as I thought.

“Yes, you’re practically shaking” she giggled.

“I am not” I said seriously and held my hand out, it was not shaking, “I’m usually able to trick everyone into believing I’m confident even when I’m nervous as fuck” I smiled.

“Well I see through it. Although I don’t think anyone else does” she said as she rested her hands on mine, “Calm down.”

“I’m fine” I ran my hands through my short hair after Jackie brought Addison a drink and she took a sip, “Are you excited to start filming?”




“Good Morning” Julie said as she plopped down next to me on the couch, “Do you always watch television without turning it on?”

“Yeah, I’m trying to start a new trend” I said as I looked over and tossed the remote at her, “What’s up?”

“Nothing, are you alright?” I nodded my head, “You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“OK, but you do know that I have a degree in this now. And I won’t even charge you… first visit is on the house” she smiled.

“Oh yeah?” I laughed, “But it’s my house, so it should all be free.”

She nodded her head; “I’ll be out of your hair soon. Will you help me look for an apartment?”

“Why?” why would she get an apartment? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

“I don’t know good areas or prices and stuff. You’ll be able to tell if I’m getting ripped off.”

“No, why do you need an apartment? You can stay here.”

She let a chuckle escape, “Who do I look like? Trace? I’m not going to live in your house.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not a freeloader,” she laughed, “Seriously Lake, you don’t want me to stay here.”

“Yeah I do. What’s the point of getting a house with all these bedrooms if I’m only going to use one?”

She bit at her finger; she’s thinking about it that’s something. I like to have people around all the time. I get lonely really easily. I hate that feeling, and it sucks not having a girlfriend especially when it seems like everyone else is in a relationship of some sort. I’d hate to have to wake up completely alone in this house. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me you want me to stay. Because I can afford an apartment… ok right now I can’t” she paused to laugh, “But as soon as I get a job I’ll be able to.”

“Give it some time, if you piss me off then I’ll let you go” I smiled.

“Nice.”

“Just don’t leave all your shit around like Trace. He just leaves everything all over the place. There’s random shit everywhere.”

She laughed, “And you’re surprised by that? I could have told you Trace was a slob since like… third grade. Remember when Mrs. Sabatino dumped his desk over because it was so messy?”

“Yeah” I laughed. That was pretty amazing. He always had a pile of shit around his desk and one day our teacher just had enough. She dumped his desk out and made him clean it all up, “So what are your plans for the day?”

“Well, I was going to look for an apartment but I guess I don’t have to now.”

I nodded my head, “Want to go get breakfast?” It’s worth a shot right? I really am a breakfast guy and I’ll go get breakfast any chance I can.

“Yeah” she answered quickly.

“Really?”

“Really. Do I have to change?”

“No, you have to wear that.” I stood up and threw a hoodie at her, “We have to go now.”

“OK,” she laughed as she stood up, “What’s the rush?”

“I’m hungry,” I grabbed my keys.

“I guess so.”

“Did you sleep alright? The room was alright?”

“Yes Lake very comfortably” she smiled, “Where are we going?”

“There’s this place down the street with the best omelets and their hash brows are to die for.”

“Do you go there a lot?” I nodded my head; “You’ll have to introduce me to all the good places now that I’ll be living out here. It’s so weird to say that.”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of you Jules.”

“I know,” she said as I parked the car in the street. As we walked to the restaurant I noticed a few people across the street taking pictures. It’s annoying but there are worse things.

We walked inside and sat down quickly at a table, “Yeah, so much for not having to change. I’m going to be in all the magazines in my sweats.”

I laughed as I grabbed a muffin from the bread basket on the table, “Oh please, like you care.”

“I do care, shut up,” she hit my arm, “You act like I’m a complete scrub.”

“You are a complete scrub,” I answered with a smile.

“You’re an asshole.”

“Relax, I’m kidding. I’m saying you’re more low key, it’s not that big of a deal. If Addison was caught in her sweats she’d probably commit suicide.”

“That’s sad.”

“Yeah.” I nodded my head as I picked up the menu, “What are you getting?”

“Probably an omelet since they’re so good.”

I nodded my head and placed the menu back down. I don’t know why I pick it up in the first place I know what I’m getting her, “Addison would not go to breakfast with me.”

“Ever?”

“No…well hardly ever. The other day she stayed over and I wanted to stop for breakfast on the way taking her back and she would not go for it.”

“Does she eat?” she asked seriously before laughing.

“Yeah, she eats,” I laughed, “Once in awhile. But she said she doesn’t go to breakfast with someone that’s not her boyfriend.”

“Seriously?” I nodded my head, “That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah. She said I’m not over her and I think we’re still dating because I wanted to eat breakfast. Of course the possibility that I was just hungry was completely out of the question.”

“She seems kind of silly.”

“Yeah,” I nodded my head, “She is indeed very silly. She’s also crazy.”

“You said it.” She smiled, “You think about her too much, let’s talk about something else.”

I nodded my head I do talk about Addison a lot. I don’t do it on purpose it’s just unfortunately she’s on my mind a lot. At least I’m complaining about her and it’s not like I have this warped out sense of reality where I still think she’s perfect. Yeah, I definitely don’t have to worry about that.

I knew early on that I was more into our relationship than Addison was. I was used to it though, I always fall fast and I seem to always fall for the girls that don’t like commitment. Even though Addison would never admit it, I knew that she was falling for me. It may not have been as fast as I fell for her but she did fall for me. There was a time that we were that cute couple in love even though she’d never admit it.

I loved the stupid things about her. Like the way she would laugh hysterically when we’d watch Jimmy Kimmel every night. I just loved her laugh in general. It was so loud and contagious, just hearing her laugh made everyone around her laugh too.

The movie was in the last week of filming and it scared me more than anything. I think I knew deep down that things wouldn’t be the same once we were done. I’m not an idiot; I knew that as soon as we left Arizona things would be hectic. She’d probably be off filming somewhere else. Plus the simple fact while we were in Arizona there were not many other people around to spend time with. I absolutely loved spending all my time with Addison but I was sure that as soon as we got back to LA with the rest of our friends it would be different.

We lay down on the couch together; our hands intertwined watching Jimmy Kimmel. He started with his Friday night uncensored where he bleeps things that don’t need to be bleeping segment and I knew this was her favorite. It had quickly become my favorite just because she laughs like it is the funniest thing in the world.

Once the show went to commercial I felt her playing with my fingers, “What are your feelings about the movie wrapping?” I asked her.

She shrugged, “It’s kinda sad I guess, but I’m excited to go home.”

I nodded my head as I took in the scent of her hair. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that she is Addison Grenadine and has a reputation of dating her costars. Call me naive, but part of me thought that what we had was different.

“What about you?” she asked.

“I’m sad,” I answered.

She laughed, “You’re so manly” she said sarcastically, “Boo hoo, so sad” she pouted her lips.

I laughed as I wrapped my arms around her, “I’m sad that we won’t be stuck together anymore.”

“Aww” she said and kissed me gently.

“What are your plans for after?”

“I have to do a movie with my dad.”

“Have to?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah” she laughed, “I don’t really like working with my father, it’s just weird.”

“What’s it about?’

“Honestly I don’t even know. It’s some mother daughter story. My mom’s doing it too. So it’ll be one of those huge publicity things because we’re all doing it.”

I nodded my head, “It’ll be good if you’re dad’s doing it. I’m sure it’s great.”

“Oh yeah, I know.”

“When does that start?”

“Three weeks. What are you doing?”

“Just recording I guess. I’m just relaxing, doing whatever.”

She nodded her head and ran her fingertip over my lips, “We should go on vacation, we need a vacation.”

“Yeah?” she nodded her head and I couldn’t believe that she was actually suggesting this, “Where do you want to go?”

“Well… we could go to the house in the Hamptons or the one in Miami, or the mountains in Colorado.”

I heard myself chuckle as she listed off all of her family’s houses, “Let’s go somewhere you’ve never been.”

“I’ve been everywhere.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Try and stump me,” she said seriously.

“Hawaii.”

“Beach house.”

“New York.”

“Seriously? Pent house.”

“Kansas?”
“Why the hell would I want to go to Kansas?” she asked seriously and I laughed, she’s far too high maintenance for a place like Kansas. I’ve really never dated anyone high maintenance, so it was a lot to get used to. I knew from the beginning and it never really annoyed me. Sure, at times I wanted to strangle her for not being able to just stop at McDonalds or something for a quick lunch but I got over it quickly and was able to compromise. I actually found the fact that she is so high maintenance that I think it’s cute. I don’t know why… but I did.

“True. Jamaica?”

“I was there last summer.”

“Mexico?”

“Four months ago. Try again” she said with a smile.

“Bermuda?”

“I haven’t been there in a couple years.”

“Hmm… what about Italy or something?”

“We have a villa in Italy” she giggled, “Bermuda is the best you’re going to get.”

“Alright, I’ll set it up.”

“Why? I’ll have Jess look at it.”

I ran my hands through her hair, “Can’t I look at it?”

“You can but why would you want to? That’s what she’s for” Jess is her assistant. She’s the first one that she’s had since I met her. She goes through them a lot but at this point I had no idea that she went through them so much.

“I want to plan it though.”

“OK” she laughed at me, “Go for it.”

“I will,” I answered as I grabbed my laptop from the table next to us, “Want to go to the Suns game tomorrow night?”

“Who are they playing?”

“Lakers.”

“Yeah” she smiled and sat up, resting her head on my shoulder, “My father would love you.”

“What?” I asked with a chuckle, I couldn’t believe she was mentioning her father and me in the same sentence. I know for a fact that she does not introduce just anyone to her family and if she was even suggesting that in the slightest bit I couldn’t believe it.

“He loves the Lakers.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen him at a couple games, right next to Jack.”

“They have season tickets, they’ve had them since the beginning of time” she laughed then she got quiet and then ran her hands on the back of my neck, “You should meet him” I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “You’re a good person” she continued, “I don’t usually date good people” she giggled, “He’d love you.”

I felt myself smiling, and part of me wished I could hide the excitement just a little, “I would love to meet him.”

“Good, I’ll have Jess set it up” I gave her a look, “Don’t give me that look.”

“What look?” I asked with a chuckle.

“That look like I can’t do anything myself. I’d have to go through his assistant to get his schedule and that takes forever.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I know but you’re thinking it” I noticed right away how insecure she is about certain things. She acts confident but she really isn’t. Most girls in Hollywood are like that. People all over the world envy them and wish they looked like them or lived like them but most of the girls have so many confidence issues. Very few of them think they are as beautiful as they are. These girls either known they are hot and are cocky about it or they think they’re too fat or too short. Addison didn’t really have any issues like that. She knew she was hot but she was never too cocky about it. But she also had her so-called problem areas that she did not want anyone to look at or pay attention to.

Addison had more problems with what other people think. In this business, it’s important to be able to hear people talk shit about you all the time but never let it get to you. People always have something to say and many times it’s not flattering. Being in this business for as long as she has it never occurred to me that she would have an issue with it. But I realized early on that she really took in what other people had to say about her and if there was a bad review or she was in the tabloids showing off a bad picture of her she’d be upset for days at a time. I tried many times to explain to her that it didn’t matter and the only people that it mattered to was the people around her that love her and what they think. But then again, when her friends act the same way it’s a bit of a sticky situation.

There was the time Star Magazine had a picture of her that looked like she may possibly have a gut. Forget that, it was all she talked about for weeks and would not eat anything but lettuce and grapefruit for a month. That was a fun month. She was on the worst dressed list at some awards show. She literally burned the outfit the next day and swore that she would never work with the designer again. However there was the simple fact that she did not own the dress and the designer was ready to kill her for destroying all her hard work.






“Hello?” I heard Julie and looked over at her and she laughed, “God, every time she walks in the damn room you phase out for hours.”

“I do not.”

She rolled her eyes, “OK. You’re obviously still obsessed with her.”

“I am not.”

She laughed, “Not obsessed, bad choice of words. You still have feelings for her.”

“Nah”

“Yeah, ok Lake” she smiled as she looked around the room, “Everyone has someone but me.”

I heard myself chuckle, “I’ll get you someone, look around.”

“I want Leonardo DiCaprio” I shook my head; of course that’s who she wants. She’s been obsessed with the guy since Growing Pains. Just hearing his name makes my skin curl. We have a bad history but that’s another story for another time. “You’re friends right? Hook me up.”

“Friends?” I laughed, “I’ve never met him.”

“Addison met him, hook it up” she smiled.

“Alright, I’ll get right on it” I hate that kid more than anything; I feel the need to repeat that.

Before I knew it I looked up and saw Addison standing in front of me, looking down at me with that half smile she has, “Hey.” She made the smile bigger and grabbed onto my hands, pulling me up next to her, “This is my friend from home Julie. Jules, this is Addison.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you” Jules said as she stood up and offered her hand. Addison looked away from her and moved close to me, resting her hands on my chest. Jules sat back down and I gave her an apologetic look.

“I want you so bad” Addison whispered into my ear, “Take me home.”

When any woman looking as good as Addison whispers that into your ear there is no way any man could possibly say no. I’m not proud of the fact that she still has this control over me, but it’s just the way it is. I held up a finger at Jules and pulled Addison away for a minute, “Ads, I can’t just leave her here.”

She took a deep breath, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“She doesn’t know anyone.”

Addison rolled her eyes then put her lips right up to mine, “I’m going to go get another drink. Figure something out” she grabbed at my pants before walking away.

I ran my hands over my head and looked over at Julie who was just sitting there, playing with the olive in her martini.

“Hey man” I looked up to see Lance, my former NSYNC bandmate, grabbing a beer from the bartender.

“Hey bro, how’s it going?” I asked as I gave him a quick hug, “How’s everything?”

“Good. Is that Julie over there?”

“Yeah” I said as I followed his gaze, “She’s moving out here.”

“No way. I thought it was her, I didn’t want to say anything in case I was totally off” he laughed, “She looks different.”

I shrugged, “I guess. She’s not sixteen anymore.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure” he laughed.

“Are you here with someone?” I asked.

“Just a bunch of friends, why?”

“Addison wants to uh… leave. And Trace and Carrie are gone, I don’t want to leave her alone.”

“Yeah, send her over. I’ll look out for her, take her home.”

“Yeah? Thanks man.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, later man” I said as I walked back to Jules to see a guy sitting in my seat. He got up when I came back, “Was I interrupting something?”

“Yeah, thank god. He was so skeevy.”

I laughed as I took a sip of my drink, trying to figure out how to tell her I’m leaving. I do feel bad about it, and I know I probably shouldn’t just leave her, but she knows Lance, it’s not like I’m just leaving her with someone she doesn’t know.

“You can go, I don’t care,” she said seriously and I looked over at her and she laughed, “It’s not a big deal. Go get laid. I’ll go home, I don’t mind.”

“I don’t want to just leave you though.”

‘I don’t care. I’m tired. I’ll get a cab” she paused, “Wait, are you going to your place? See that’s why I shouldn’t stay at your house.”

“No, calm down. I’m going to her place. But even if I was going home it wouldn’t matter.”

“OK go then. Have fun.”

I looked at her for a second; she’s not one to hide her feelings. If she were pissed she’d let me know, “You’re sure?”

“Yes” she nodded her head.

“Lance is over there.”

“Lance?” she broke in before I could even finish, “Are you serious? I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“Yeah. He said to have you go over. He’s right over there”.

“Alright, cool. I will,” she said as she stood up, “Have fun Lake, and be careful.”

“Alright, thanks Jules.”

“Bye” I watched her walk over to Lance and his crew. She fell into his arms and he picked her up with a great hug and twirled her around. I could almost hear her laughing over the music. I guess she’s ok. I took that as my cue that it was safe to leave her alone and went to find Addison.

I sat in the limo next to Addison quietly looking out the window. We really do come from two different worlds. Even though we both are in the same industry I grew up middle class and worked hard to be where I am in the upper class. Addison was born upper class. She does work hard, but the way she lives is so different from the way I live. One example is I don’t take limos unless I’m going to an awards show. Addison takes a limo or at least a driver just about everywhere she goes.

“You look so nervous” she said with a chuckle as she moved over and sat on my lap.

“Yeah, I am nervous.”

“Why? Don’t be nervous, he’s going to love you,” she said as she fixed my tie.

“Your father is fucking Jeremy Grenadier. I’d be nervous to meet him at an awards show, forget about meeting him while he knows I’m sleeping with his daughter.”

She laughed and just hearing her laugh made me laugh, have I mentioned how much I love her laugh? “Just don’t talk to him about that.”

“Yeah, I figured thanks.”

“And don’t talk about his movies. Don’t say you want to work with him, don’t hint that you’ve heard he’s working on something and you read the script and would love to be in it. Don’t talk about business at all.”

“I would never” I looked at her seriously.

“Just talk about the Lakers… and me” she smiled and before kissing me.

“And what should I not talk about with your mother?”

“Um… Meryl Streep or Sharon Stone” she laughed, “It’s just dinner. I promise they’re not that intimidating.”

“Is it just your parents?” she nodded her head as the car stopped in front of the restaurant, “Alright” I took a deep breath.

“Calm down, they smell fear” she laughed.

I really felt like I might pass out. I’ve never been that nervous before, there was just something about the Grenadier family that just got me so intimidated. I stepped out of the limo and held out my hand to help Addison out. It felt like a million flashes going off and we both covered our faces as I quickly led her into the restaurant. I was hoping we’d be there before them but since Addison takes so long to get ready they were definitely there before we were.





I walked out of the club with Addison, covering my face as best I could. I looked over at her and noticed her face was out in the open, almost as if she was welcoming the pictures. She never wants to be seen with me. She never wanted to be seen with me when we were dating, forget about when we’re not.

I got in the car and quickly drove off. She rested her hand in my lap, “So you have another freeloader from home?”

“Huh?”

“That girl.”

“Julie” I corrected her, “She’s not a freeloader.”

“Oh really? Does she have a job?” I started to tell her but she broke in, “A job that you didn’t make up for her.”

I took a deep breath, “She’s looking for one, she just finished school.”

“Cute” I saw her roll her eyes, “So you have another lost puppy to add to the pound.”

I took a deep breath, “What’s her problem Addison? Since you’re so good at pointing out everyone else’s damn flaws. Carrie’s a tomboy, Trace is too short, you’ve seen Jules for a whole two seconds you must have been able to figure her out completely.”

“She’s dumb. She looks stupid.”

I laughed, “She just graduated from grad school fucking magna cum laude.”

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

I shook my head, Addison who is calling everyone else dumb doesn’t even know what that is, “It’s like the highest honor in school, the highest GPA.”

She gave me a blank stare, “Whatever” she paused and played with the electronic windows, putting them up and down, “She doesn’t know how to wear makeup does she?”

“What?” I heard myself laugh.

“She had like no makeup on.”

“Some people don’t need to paint on their faces” I chuckled.

“She could have used some paint.”

“Why is it that you always have shit to say about my friends?”

“Because you have stupid friends” she shrugged.

“I have never said anything rude about your friends, and you have some crazy friends yourself.”

“Oh please, like who? Go ahead Justin, tell me all about my crazy friends.”

I shook my head; it would probably not be a good career move to call out her friends. Especially since most of her friends are huge in this city and could ruin me if they wanted, “I’m not going there.”

“Because my friends aren’t crazy like yours. Yours aren’t crazy, they’re just trashy.”

“Trashy? Who is trashy?” I felt my tempter beginning to flair.

“Carrie, obviously. Trace is like a walking white trash poster. And the new girl, please. You need friends not from fucking Hicksville she’s got a fucking accent like a redneck.”

I shook my head and stopped in her driveway, “Fuck you Addison.” That Hicksville accent is where I’m from; it’s who I am. Just because I lost it for the most part doesn’t mean it’s not still part of me. Like they say, you can take the boy out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the boy.

She rolled her eyes, “Come on.”

“I’m not going in with you. You ruined the mood completely” she looked at me but didn’t move, “Get out, I want to go home.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot Justin. I can’t believe you, I could have gone home with anyone.”

“Then go back, want me to drive you back?”

“Fuck you” she answered as she slammed the door and walked quickly into her house, slamming the front door.






“What’s the deal with you and DiCaprio?”

“What are you talking about? He’s my boyfriend, duh,” Addison answered sarcastically as she took a sip from her coffee.

“Seriously? You spend a lot of time with him.”

“Our movie’s coming out in a month. Don’t start jealous shit.”

“I’m not jealous. I don’t think I’m out of line here, I mean come on Ads you go out with him more than you go out with me.”

“J seriously? You know that I have to go out with him.”

“All I’m saying is you seem to be enjoying your time with him.”

“I don’t hate him he’s a cool guy.”

“Nice.”

“But I’m not dating him, I don’t want to date him, I’m dating you. It’s acting Justin, I’m an actress. A damn good actress and I have make it look realistic.”

“Ok, so why can’t we date in public? Why can’t we come out as a couple, that’ll be good for publicity?”

“Because I’m dating him” she had a slight smile on her face but I saw it slid off when she looked at me, “Baby come on, I would be fine with coming out with you but I can’t right now. I’ll talk to Ken and see like maybe it will do good if we fake broke up before the premier because then everyone would care about us showing up at the same time. Then maybe you could come too and everyone will go crazy.”

I took a deep breath; “I hate this fucking drama” I hate having to do all this bullshit. This is by far the worst part there is about my job. It’s impossible to just be able to date my girlfriend. Everything has to be a secret and it’s perfectly normal that she’s “dating” someone else and I’m supposed to be perfectly fine with it.

“Baby come on, I’ll have Jess talk to Ken”

“I don’t want to go to a premier with my fucking girlfriend for eight months and then have everyone think I’m this home wrecker that stole you from fucking DiCaprio who you’ve been fake dating for the past two months.”

“What do you want me to do?” she raised her voice, at first she was comforting me about it but she’s done with that now, “What the fuck J? It’s not my fault”

“I never said it was your fucking fault.”

“You’re totally blaming me.”

“I am not. I’m just saying its bullshit. I want to show you off Ads, I want to be able to take you to dinner and a fucking movie instead of always having to hide out at your house.”




I drove around for a while, not really ready to go home. Addison is not worth all that shit. She should not be talking about my friends like that. She’s calling Jules dumb. Jules is the smartest person I know. And then she says she’s trashy. Just because everyone wasn’t born into Hollywood royalty like herself they’re not trashy. If Addison weren’t born into her family she’d probably be selling herself on the streets somewhere.

I parked my car in the driveway and walked into the dark house. I passed Julie’s room and saw that the light was still on so I knocked on the door, “Yeah?”

I opened the door and saw her sitting in bed reading a magazine, “What’s up?”

“That was quick” I nodded my head, “What are you doing here?”

I shrugged and laid down next to her, “I’m bored” I said as I slid under the covers.

“OK” she laughed and put her magazine down, “What happened?”

“She’s a bitch,” I answered as I moved my head over to her pillow, “But you knew that.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yes you did. Everyone knew it. I knew it.”

“Sorry” she said as she pushed down so she was lying with me, her head sharing the pillow.

I took a deep breath and played with the edge of the blanket, “Alright I’m ready for my free psychoanalysis.”

“OK, let’s go” she smiled.

“I don’t know why she has that control over me, but as soon as she walks into a room I feel like… I don’t know, like I need to be with her. I know what she’s like, I know how obnoxious she is and how spoiled and high maintenance. And I’m not into that at all, you know I’ve never been with anyone like her before” she nodded her head, “But when I see her I feel like she’s not a bitch. I think of the good times we had and when she was a normal person at the beginning of the relationship.”

“That’s completely normal.”

“Nah, it’s not normal. I should be able to just walk away from it because I know what she’s really like. But when she comes into a room my head turns and I watch her and I look at her like every other damn guy in the room that has never met her before and has no idea what she’s really like.”

“She’s a pretty girl though. It’s ok to get caught up in that.”

“But I’ve dated pretty girls. I’ve dated the girls that make every guy’s head turn when they walk into a room. But none of them make my head turn anymore. Britney’s fucking crazy, and I know that. She’s still hot as hell but she’s crazy. And when she walks in I don’t look. Well I look because I want to see what she’s going to do but I don’t look like I’ve never seen her before and I need to get her into bed like I do with Addison.”

“That’s different though, Britney’s different. She cheated on you, so that ended everything.”

I took a deep breath, “So did Addison” I answered softly. She didn’t know that, no one knew that. I’m ashamed of the fact that I took her back after she cheated on me.

“What?” Julie shouted, “Why do I not know any of this?”

“No one knows Jules” I said softly, “Because I ignored it. I acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal and she was sorry, it was a mistake, a one-time thing. Everyone says the same excuses and I never fall for them but with her I did. I’ve been with plenty of girls that have cheated on me you know that. And every time one of them cheats on me it’s over. I end it in a matter of seconds. But I don’t know what the fuck made me trust Addison. I knew she wasn’t sorry, I knew she’d probably been cheating on me a hell of a lot more than I found out. But I looked past it.”

I looked over at Jules and she looked pissed herself and I continued.
“And Cameron could walk in and I don’t give her a second look. She’s beautiful and a good person. She never did any shit to me it just didn’t work out. But still, I see fucking Addison and I go fucking crazy for the biggest bitch in Hollywood.”

“It’s different though, she has that control over everyone. It’s not just you; it’s the way she is. She manipulates people. She uses the way she looks to get what she wants. People are like that Lake, especially here. These girls need the drama and are so used to getting everything they want they’ll do anything to get it. It’s like an addiction… I learned about it, I’m not just making it up” she let out a laugh.

I took a deep breath, “And what the fuck does that say about me? I can’t control myself. I have no fucking control, I’m just this dumb ass guy thinking with my dick and I can’t move past it.”

“You’re a little hard on yourself Lake.”

“Alright. What’s my problem Doc? And what kind of help do I need?”

“I think you just need to separate yourself from it. That’s the only solution. It’s not that big of a problem, it happens. I mean when you fall, you fall hard. You always have” she’s right although I wish she wasn’t. I have some problem that I fall in love with girls too quickly. Most guys have a problem with commitment. And honestly, I should be one of them. I should be living it up with all the whores in the city but that doesn’t appeal to me. I hate dating, I’d much rather be in a serious relationship. It’s good to know someone’s there to take on the world with you. I know I have other people there for me all the time, like my mother, Trace, Jules and Chrissy. But it’s different to be in love and have someone like that.

“That’s all you got?” I asked with a smile.

“That’s all I got?” she punched my arm, “What do you want a secret potion that will get rid of her?”

“No” I laughed, “Wait, you got something?”

“No, but I do have a Voodoo doll” she rolled her eyes, “Just stay away from her. If you’re out and she comes in walk the other way. Don’t look at her legs, isn’t that like her thing? She has those amazing legs?” I nodded my head, “Then look up” she giggled, “Just stay away from her.”

I nodded my head, even though it’s much easier said than done. When she comes into a room everyone’s head turns, it’s going to take a lot not to let my head be one of them, “I just like to be with someone. It’s hard to be alone.”
“I know” she nodded her head, “I know you hate being alone and it’s scary because you think you’re going to be alone forever. But you’re not Lake. You’re a great guy and anyone would be extremely lucky to have you. You don’t disserve to be treated like that, and you shouldn’t be. You’re better than that. You’ve never settled so why are you going to start? You could have any girl you want, just take your time and look around, don’t rush anything” that goes through me like nothing else. I absolutely hate when people tell me I could have any girl I want. That could not be further from the truth.

My schedule is really fucked up. Sure, in theory I’m one of the “sexiest bachelor’s” and so many girls wish they could be with me. But they don’t know me. They know the publicized me, the guy that writes romantic songs, jokes around at interviews, dances my ass off on stage. That’s not me. There’s so much more to me than that. I’m a perfectionist and a workaholic. I can be too much at times. I’ve been called annoying, by others not just Addison. The point is I have my fair share of issues. If they really knew me I doubt they would be interested. And then there's the simple fact that I’m never around. Any girl that says they understand… well that lasts about a month. And then they get annoyed and can’t deal with it. They think they know what they’re getting into but they don’t. There’s the fact that I’m away a lot, there are sluts throwing themselves at me, I work so much sometimes I can’t even get ten minutes off for a phone call. Then if we are dating their face is in every damn magazine from here to Timbuktu. They talk shit about anyone, it doesn’t matter if it’s some celebrity or a normal girl, they don’t care. I guess that’s why I tend to date other celebrities just because they’re used to it. It’s a hard thing to get used to but it’s impossible for a normal girl not to be scared away from it. Not even to mention the girls that date me just to be in the magazine. I’m not even going to get started with that.

“You’ll be ok Lake, just don’t rush into anything. I’m all alone too, we’ll be lonely together,” she laughed as she wrapped her arms around mine, “But I will keep my eyes open for a Voodoo doll.”

“Thanks” I laughed before pulling the covers down, “Alright, thanks Doc. I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight Lake.”