Summary: But this new person was everything her Justin was not. That person looked like he hadn't showered in days, his expensive clothes looked like they needed a trip through the washing machine and you couldn't even see his once beautiful face becuase the scraggly beard over took his features. His eyes were the same though; that deep blue that felt like they were piercing right through your soul. She would never truly escape from his eyes and everytime his name flashed across her tv or an old picture of him popped up in a magazine, her heart would flutter like a butterflies wings. He was so beautiful back then her breath would literally catch in her throat. It awed her that she was once so in love with a man.
Categories: In Progress Het Stories Characters: Justin Timberlake
Awards: None
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 22 Completed: No
Word count: 39980 Read: 58673
Published: Apr 13, 2007 Updated: Oct 08, 2008
1. prologue by god gave me style
2. one by god gave me style
3. two by god gave me style
4. three by god gave me style
5. four by god gave me style
6. five by god gave me style
7. six by god gave me style
8. seven by god gave me style
9. eight by god gave me style
10. nine by god gave me style
11. ten by god gave me style
12. eleven by god gave me style
13. twelve by god gave me style
14. thirteen by god gave me style
15. fourteen by god gave me style
16. fifteeen by god gave me style
17. sixteen by god gave me style
18. seventeen by god gave me style
19. eighteen by god gave me style
20. nineteen by god gave me style
21. twenty by god gave me style
22. twenty one by god gave me style
prologue by god gave me style
"And on to our next story, pop star Justin Timberlake was released from rehab today. The star was ordered to rehab by a judge in New York when Timberlake was arrested for trying to buy cocaine from an undercover policeman. That of course, was Timberlake's third drug arrest in the last year not to mention the two DUI charges and four marijuana possession cases.
Justin's brushes with the law seemed the come from nowhere, people close to him say that he was never really into drugs except for the occasional reefer or two but the success of his second album, Future Sex/ Love Sounds seemed to change him. Here is a segment from MTV's Behind the Soul: Justin Timberlake, with his long time friend and former band mate, JC Chasez."
"He was a good kid you know? He was always very focused and dedicated to everything that he did, I don't think any of us would have guessed that he would turn out like this. When Future Sex/ Love Sounds blew up, people were throwing all kinds of parties for him and I guess he got a taste of the drug and it took over."
"Behind the Soul: Justin Timberlake airs on MTV tonight, at 9pm."
Chione turned off her tv and threw the remote control next to her. She wiped the moisture from under her eyes and looked out the window onto her rain splattered porch. The rain had subsided some but was still falling strong and the pitter-patter against the window seal was sort of comforting to her but it couldn't calm her shattered emotions. She hated seeing him like that, all scruffy and dirty looking. The old Justin would have never let himself go like that, everything about his appearance was on point. Every hair on his head was perfectly in line, not a wrinkle on his clothes and his sneakers would be so white you would have to wear sunglasses to look at them. He was the fun Justin, the loving Justin. The Justin who would fly half her half way around the world because he missed her and just wanted to cuddle with her.
But this new person was everything her Justin was not. That person looked like he hadn't showered in days, his expensive clothes looked like they needed a trip through the washing machine and you couldn't even see his once beautiful face because the scraggly beard over took his features. His eyes were the same though; that deep blue that felt like they were piercing right through your soul. She would never truly escape from his eyes and every time his name flashed across her tv or an old picture of him popped up in a magazine, her heart would flutter like a butterflies wings. He was so beautiful back then her breath would literally catch in her throat. It awe's her that she was once so in love with a man.
But that man is gone and has been replaced with a cocaine fiend, a lier, and a cheat. She had bigger responsibilities to worry about now; a son that needed her to be her best every minute of the day. Braelyn, the one and only man in her life at that moment and as much love and devotion she felt for him, was as much pain and sorrow she felt. You see, Justin didn't know his own son. He knew she was pregnant and at the beginning he was happy about it but as the drug took over his body, he cared less and less about their growing miracle in her body. He cared less and less about her and got violent with her. She finally found the strength to leave him while six months pregnant. The bruises on her face, arms, legs, and stomach had finally pushed her over the edge and she knew that she had to get out. If she didn't, he would kill her and their child and she couldn't let that happen. She packed her bags while he slept comfortably on the bed that held so many beautiful memories and walked away from him on that cool, autumn day.
Chione slowly removed herself from her couch and walked even slower through the little but warm house that her father put her up with. She ran her hands along the walls until she came to her daughter's room where a small smile took over her soft features. She opened the door quietly, not to wake her up and crept into the room. She pulled the rocker over to her crib and stuck her long fingers through the sides of the crib and lightly ran them over her silky, light caramel colored skin. She watched her little chest rise and fall and mentally thanked God for giving her such a devine daughter. Chione stood up and walked over to the windows, opening the shades just enough so she could see the soft wind caress the trees outside. She picked up her sleeping child and sat back in the rocker, rocking him slowly as he enjoyed his slumber. She leaned back into the chair and closed her eyes, letting a memory flood her senses.
"I can't believe we are going to have a baby Chione. We are going to be parents." Justin plopped on the bed next to her form and lifted her shirt to caress her belly.
"I know, it's pretty amazing." Chione adjusted her position so she was lying flat on the bed.
She giggled softly as his warm lips came in contact with her stomach. He kissed a trial of hot kisses around her belly and then up her chest and between her breasts then back down to the spot where their child was growing. Her hands roamed over his freshly shaven head and a soft moan escaped her lips as she felt her soffe shorts being pulled from her legs and as his lips replaced them. She then felt his large hand place itself on her tummy and his head nuzzle into her neck. A soft 'I love You' drifted through her ears and she knew that he was the one for her.
Just then, the movement from her little bundle broke her thoughts and she opened her eyes and layed them on two beautiful blue ones, "Hey there baby." She whispered as she ran her hand down her face.
She stared at her and laughed as her mother tickled her slightly, then grabbed her mother's fingers and started to play with them. The tears began to fall from Chione's eyes again while she played with her daughter. Does Justin even think about them? Does he know what he's missing out on? She didn't want her daughter to grow up and hate her father for not being there for her.She'll tell Dionne that Justin was a good man but he wasn't ready for them. Hopefully, she'd believe her and never stumble upon the footage of her father being dragged into court time and time again or one of his endless mug shots. Hopefully, she would fill her head with all of the good things her father was and none of the bad things he had become.
She hugged her child to her body and let the tears fall down her face, praying to God that she could find the strength to raise this perfect baby the way she deserved. She also prayed that Justin would straighten up and get his life back on track and become the man he was meant to be. But one thought plagued her the most, it almost haunted her it was so sad.
He didn't even know the color of his child's eyes.
Author's Notes:
It's been awhile! Sorry! Anyway, I've changed Braelyn character to a girl. Braelyn is now Dionne, okay? Hope you enjoy!
"Okay baby girl, let's get you something to eat, huh? Yeah, you look hungry." Chione carried her daughter down the hall and into the living room, where she laid her on her changing table and ran into the kitchen to grab her bottle.
Once she had her in her arms again, she settled back into the couch and cradled her as she drank her milk. She rocked her slightly, smiling all the while, enjoying the bonding moment she had with her. She glanced out the window again; still raining. But the darkness of the day fit her emotional state so it soothed her a little bit more. Her dark brown eyes fell back on Dionne and a smile overtook her features again. She looked so much like her daddy it scared her sometimes. Same eyes, same nose, same lips, everything. The only thing she inherited from Chione was her skin tone but even that seemed to lighten day after day. It amazed her how much she grew from day to day, it seemed like it was just yesterday that she was bringing her home from the hospital. Now, she was sitting up by herself, trying to crawl and holding the bottle by herself. How time flies.
A few minutes more and Dionne had finished her bottle and was on the verge of sleep again. She tried to fight it but her little eyes kept drifting off until she couldn't keep them open, "I swear, I've never seen a little girl sleep so much." Chione cooed into her ear as she took her back into her room and laid her back down in her crib.
She made her way back into the kitchen and started doing the dished when the doorbell rang. She washed her hands and jogged to the front door. A smile fell upon her face when she opened the door to none other than JC, "Hey girl."
"Hey JC." They embraced for a moment before she opened the door wider for him to gain entry.
"I'm sorry, it's such a mess in here. Are you hungry or something? I can get you something, I was about to eat myself." Chione asked.
"Uh sure, what were you gonna have?"
"Just a sandwhich, you want one?"
"I do. So how have you been Chione?" JC asked while sitting down at the kitchen table.
"Um, i've been okay. Dionne keeps me pretty busy."
"Haha, I bet she does. Where's she at, sleeping?"
"Yeah. I swear, i've never seen a kid sleep as much as she does. Justin used to be the same way-."
It got silent between the two of him as his name left her mouth, "You still think about him?" He asked quietly, looking down at his hands.
"I can't help it. Dionne is just like him. How is he doing?" She placed the plate and soda in front of him and then sat in the seat next to him.
"Um, well, he just got out of rehad today so he's looking pretty good. A little on the skinny side though."
She nodded her head slowly and took a bite out of her sandwhich, "That's good I guess."
"He won't stay that way. He'll be higher than a kite later tonight, nothing can keep him away from that shit."
For the third time that day, Chione began to cry again, "Chi, come on baby, don't cry for him anymore. He doesn't deserve your tears."
"It's just, I know that he's a better man than this. He used to be so loving and caring and beautiful and now he's just some common crack head. That's so sad."
She held her head in her hands and wept quietly. JC lifted her chin with the tip of his finger and starred into her clouded eyes. He ran his thumb down the side of her face and smiled softly as she nuzzled against his large palm. They leaned into each other slowly and when she was in reach, he placed light kisses on the bridge of her nose. He moved his way to the tip of her small nose and then finally to her soft, pretty lips. The kiss was sweet but powerful, something that they both needed. He broke the kiss long enough to pick her up from her chair and make their way down the hall and to her bedroom. He closed the door behind them, and walked over the bed, laying her down softly and then removing his shirt and jeans. He then helped her out of her clothing, and climbed under the sheets with her, kissing her light and softly.
Once their underwear had found the floor, JC slid himself gently into her, her soft moans filling his body with ecstacy. He began to thrust into her, his eyes closing, his breath quickening and her hands gripped his sides tightly. His hand ran slowly down her body to her wetness, caressing her throbbing clit firmly, causing her buck her hips harder into his stiff erection. Chione bit her bottom lip and he continued to pump into her, bringing them both closer to their peaks.
Chione gripped the sheets as the familiar, intense feeling began to bubble in her stomach. Her skin was so sensitive that everything touching her made her shiver; his skin, the sheets, the cool air on her face. JC knew she was close, he leaned down next to her ear and breathed, "Let it go baby, i'm ready for you."
It was barely above a whisper but just the sound of his husky, deep voice made her walls tighten around him. With a few more hard, thick thrusts, her body exploded from deep within her wetness. His name was called once, twice, three times as the orgasm flooded all of her senses. It didn't take much longer for JC to empty himself within her. He laid down next to her, pulling her close into him and offering her a sleepy smile. She nuzzled into his broad chest and drew lazy circles on his hard stomach.
"You're beautiful." He whispered while kissing her cheek.
"You are too."
"I'm surprised we didn't wake Dionne."
They laughed quietly together, "She's a tough little girl, nothing can wake her up." Chione said.
It got quiet between the two of them but it was comfortable, "You know." JC said after a while, "We didn't use anything this time."
"Don't worry about it, i'm on the pill. Two babies would be entirely to much for me right now."
JC rubbed her back, "Do you need anything? Any money or anything?"
"Joshua, I don't like taking your money. I need to get out and get a damn job-"
"Don't talk like that. You need to be right here, taking care of your daughter. Plus, I like taking care of you and Dionne. I like spending time with you and Dionne." She was quiet, "It's okay to say that you need help and you know that I have enough money for all three of us."
"Yeah, I know."
"Okay then. Gimme your bank account number later."
She clicked her tongue, "Damn, not enough five minutes after we have sex and you're already giving me orders. What if I don't give it to you?"
"Girl, I know how to snoop, I'll find it one way or another." They laugh together again and loose themselves in the rest of the afternoon.
////////////
"Look who finally decided to wake up." JC said, bringing the smiling little girl into the living room.
Chione laughed and waved at her daughter, watching JC swing her around in the air. He lifted Dionne above his head and smiled at her, using his funny baby voice. This is what she wanted, a family, a man to come home to. She loved JC for everything that he had done for them, but she couldn't bring herself to love him like she still loved Justin and he knew that. He was there for her when she needed him and he was okay knowing that she wasn't in love with him. It takes a good man to be okay with that fact.
She watched the two continue to play together for a few minutes more and then turned back to finish dinner. JC had decided to stay the night with her like he had done so many other countless times before. Her crappy day turned out to be a nice night after all.
He sat in the dark room alone, nothing could get him out of this funk except for one thing. All he needed was a hit of that little white rock and he would feel a whole lot better. But he couldn't get any, Trace had raided his house before he came home and wiped out his stash. Trace had been camping out at his home since he got back from rehab so it made it a tad bit hard to go out and score some from his usual dealer. Three months it had been since he had his last hit; he could practically taste the white powder he wanted it so bad. He couldn't sleep at night, he couldn't eat, he couldn't shower, he just... laid in his bed, waiting for the perfect second to run out and snort something.
This was Justin Timberlake. He's not the same fun-loving, pretty boy, he's a dark, hateful person who doesn't care about what he worked half of his life for. He flipped through the channels aimlessly until one of the celebrity news shows caught his attention.
"Justin Timberlake was released from rehab yesterday after a daring three month stint. Timberlake was sencented to rehab after being arrested for trying to buy cocaine from an under cover policeman. There are no reports on Justin as of yet, his rep hasn't returned any of our calls and friend slash personal assistant Trace Ayala has refused comment."
He scoffed at the tv show and was about to change the channel when an old photograph flashed across the screen.
"This is Timberlake and ex-girlfriend Chione Sanders back in 2005. Timberlake and Sanders dated some three and a half years and reports show that Sanders might have been pregnant towards the latter of last year but the couple soon called it quits when Timberlake's drug habit began to take control. Chione has since stayed clear of the tabloids, no one has seen her since early this year. In other news...."
Just then, Trace tapped quietly at the door to the lair Justin called a bedroom. He grunted a 'come in' and Trace walked tentively in the room, "How are you doin' dude?"
"Fine."
"Are you hungry or anything?"
"No."
"Jay, you gotta eat man, it's been three days."
"I'm not hungry." Justin growled.
Trace looked over at his disheveled friend and almost shook his head with disgust. He used to be so fun, so full of life. You couldn't stop the old Justin from doing what he wanted to do, once he had his mind on something, it would take Jesus his self to stop him. Now all he wanted to do was sit in a dark room and snort his life away. He didn't even know that Justin had such a problem with cocaine, it came as a shock to him when Chione told him she was worried about his drug use. Sure, they would go out and have a little fun and get high in the VIP room or in a hotel somewhere in the middle of Europe, but they had never brought that shit home. Ever since then, it just got worse and worse until they were at this point.
Justin's wrinkled clothes were strewn around the room. Plates, cups, and beer bottles were thrown into a corner of the room and his beloved shoe collection, which was usually categorized by brand and then color, where thrown haphazardly in the closet. Trace knew what he had been looking for, Justin had practically torn the house apart looking for his stash. He screamed, yelled, cried, shook, and vomitted for almost the entire first day he was home because he couldn't find his cocaine. He called Trace every name in the book, told him he hated him, that he'd kill him if he found out what he did with his stash but Trace stood strong. He took the abuse until Justin finally passed out but he knew that he was the only one that whould do it. Justin's mom wanted nothing to do with him anymore, Justin had pushed away JC, Chris, Lance and Joey; Trace was pretty much the only person he had left. Trace didn't intend on letting him down.
"I have a go out and get some food to stock the fridge. Are you gonna be okay by yourself?"
"I'm 25 fucking years old prick. I can take care of my goddamn self."
"Don't get nasty with me, i'm just trying to look after you."
"Fuck you. Get the fuck out."
Trace let out a deep sigh and turned away from the creep the inhabited Justin's body. He would be okay for a few hours, he couldn't cause anymore damage to the house and he had to drugs. Trace closed the door behind him, jogged down the stairs and out to his car.
Justin jumped from his seat on the bed and ran over to the window, opening the blinds just enough to watch Trace jump in his car, and make his way out of the driveway. One thing raced through his mind, he was finally free to get what he needed. He threw on some of the dirty clothes that laced the floor and threw on his muddy Jordans' and flew down the stairs and into his garage. He grabbed a random pair of keys off the wall and frantically hit the lock button to try and figure which car the keys belonged to. His black Viper beeped twice and Justin ran over to it, threw open the door and jumped inside. He barely waited until the garage door was completely open before peeling out, nearly scraping against the rentention walls on either side of his driveway. He cursed loudly as he waited for the gate open, but once he had enough space, he took off once again toward downtown LA. He grabbed his cell from his pocket, threw it open and dialed the all familiar number.
"Hola?" The Spanish accented voice said.
"Havier? It's Justin."
"Oh Justy. How you doin' man?"
"Good Havi, listen, how much white do you have on you right now?"
"I've got a few kilos papi, how much you want?"
"I need just enough to restock my stash. I gotta stop at the bank but i'll be there in like twenty minutes alright?"
"Okay pandejo, it'll be waitin' for ya."
He slammed the phone shut and threw it on the passengers seat. Within minutes, he had withdrew five thousand dollars and was speeding towards his destination. Just like he said, twenty mintues later he was slamming on the breaks in front of a broken down building. He jumped out and scanned the street, spotting Havier walking up the street. Justin practically ran up to him and thrust the money in his pockets, "It's all there."
"Damn papi, no hello or anything?"
"Just give me the shit man."
Havier looked around for a second and then slipped the baggies into Justin's hands. They nodded at each other and went their separate ways. Justin ran behind the building, ripping the first baggie open and spreading it on the compact mirror that he kept with him at all times. He made the three lines with a credit card and then held his hand to his nostril and snorted the contents. Once he had licked the little mirror clean, he fell back against the brick wall and closed his eyes, letting the drug race through his system. He coughed violently at first, but soon adapted to the feeling and lost the rest of the afternoon.
Hours later, darkness had fallen over the city and Justin's body was sprawled out on the concrete. He woke to a jolt, and looked around, seeing nothing but bums and fellow addicts lined up and down the dark alley. He straightened himself up, propping his back up against the building again. His once brilliant cyan eyes were glazed over and he could barely move his now aching body. He reached back into his pocket, pulled out another baggie and repeated the process again. When he finished, he smiled to himself lazily, he hadn't felt this free in a long time. He slide his eyes to the side, his head slowly followed and caught the image of himself in a piece of broken glass that sat up against the wall on the opposite side of the street.
He used to love the T-Shirt he was wearing. He only wore it every once in a while because he didn't want to ruin it in the wash. Now it had dirt smudges on it and tiny hints of dried blood in places. It was wrinkled and smelled like alcohol, like it had been drenched in vodka. His hair was all over the place, and it looked like a dried up leaf had nested itself in his locks. He unkept beard was chalk full of dirt and he was laying in an alley with the other common trash that were now his brothers. The sight disgusted him, but he could barely remember a good moment in his life where he wasn't high. Wait, Chione.
Chione. The most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on; those were the good times. The memories of them making love, walking a long the beach filled his brain as he sat in the alley. Her sweet giggle flooding his ears, oh god, she was pregnant. Chione was pregnant with his child. The though made his eyes swell with tears and nothing could keep them from spilling down his cheeks. He had given it all away for the drugs and he knew that. He curled himself in a ball and rocked himself as his emotions spilled down his face. A little girl or boy who would never know their daddy; it sickened him to know that he had forgotten all about the only offspring he had. He remembered being happy with her about the pregnancy, she was only three months along but they already had names picked out. Braelyn Gabriel for a boy and Dionne Samantha for a girl. He wondered if she had stuck to those or if she chose a different name for their child.
He remembered the day she had walked away from him. They had fought about something stupid and he had gotten violent with her, pushed and shoved her into the bedroom wall like he had done so many other times. As she wept in the bathroom, he pulled out his crack and injected the liquid form of it into his veins. He fell asleep on the bed that held their late night conversations and love making sessions a little while later and then awoke to an empty house. He knew right away that she was gone for good, but he still looked around for her anyway to no avail. That was the single worst moment that he could imagine but he was crazy not to expect it. He beat her, pushed her, kicked her; he got crazy when he was high and took it all out on her. She had to get away from him, he would have killed her, worse, he would have killed their child. He never saw her again after that, and his drug habit got worse and worse.
A few more hours went by, a few more baggies were emptied when an all to familiar voice called out his name, "Justin?"
It was distant at first, then as it got closer it got louder, "Fuck, Justin."
Trace. Good old Trace had come to his rescue again. Trace hooked an arm under Justins arm pit and lifted him to his shaky legs, "How long have you been here?"
To high to comprehend the question, he laughed and giggled at his friend, "Come on Jay, let's get you home."
Trace struggled through the dark passage, trying to avoid the other addicts and bums and keeping Justin from falling over. He piled Justin back into the Viper and made sure he had locked his own car because he had to leave it over night so he could get Justin's much more expensive car home. He pulled out into the street and sighed deeply. On the one hand, he was relieved, he had no idea where Justin had been all afternoon, but on the other, he was angry at himself for leaving his friend alone. He had driven around all day and half the night until his headlights lit up Justin's car, from there, he knew what Justin had been doing.
They pulled up to Justin's lit up mansion and Trace helped his still high counterpart inside. He stripped Justin of his clothes and started the bath; it smelled as though he had pissed himself. He bathed his intoxicated friend and then threw a pair of boxers on him and put him in his bed. Once he was sure that Justin was sound a sleep, he began to clean his room. Like he said earlier, he wasn't going to let Justin down. He knew he would thank him one day.
three by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
okay, i've re-read the story and i think I got all of the his/him/son out of the story but I might have missed a couple. You know me, i can never catch my own damn mistakes. If you catch some, let me know and I'll change 'em a.s.a.p.
"I'm gonna have a busy next couple of days so I don't know when I'll be able to get back out here again." JC said, kissing the top of her head as they walked hand in hand to the front door.
"That's okay, I know you're busy. I'm gonna take Dionne up to see Lynn and Paul and then I was gonna try and see my folks in the next couple of days."
"Okay then, be careful and tell Lynn I send my love."
"Will do. Thanks for staying with me last night." Chione said, leaning up against the door frame.
"Anytime sweet cheeks. Bye."
They shared one last intimate kiss and then she smiled as she watched him walk out to his car and drive away. She turned back into the house, grabbed the diaper bag and Dionne and then made her way out to her own car. Once Dionne was situated in her car seat, she jumped into the drivers seat, and began her drive out of the country and down to the Harless home. Chione and Lynn kept in close contact over the last few months. Chione wanted Dionne to have some sort of contact with Justin's side of the family and Lynn was more than happy that Chione wanted her to be involved in her granddaughter's life. Lynn and Justin had fallen apart a long while ago; she couldn't stand to see her son destroy his life and made the difficult decision to cut off contact with him. But, when she held her first and only granddaughter, she felt Justin. She felt his spirit and his soul in that little girl, that's the only thing she had to hold on to.
Chione looked out the window as she drove by the beautiful Californian land, blooming with trees, grass and flowers. It was hard to believe that such a gorgeous state could harbor such nasty secrets and dirty problems. Before she knew it, she was pulling up to the Harless Estate, an exquisite display of money. Justin had set his parents up with the place almost four years ago, and it was by far the most beautiful home she had ever walked in. Chione unstraped her little girl and threw the diaper bag over her shoulder. She played with her a little while walking up to the front door and pulled her gaze away from her long enough to ring the doorbell. She went back tickling her and making little baby noises for a few seconds before the door opened and the proud grandmother emerged.
"Look at this big girl! Oh let me hold my grandbaby."
Chione handed Dionne over with a wide smile and watched as the two marveled at each other, "How are we today big girl? You are getting so big! Come in Chione, come in."
"Thank you, Mrs. Lynn."
They walked through the parlor and in the living room where Chione set down her diaper bag while Lynn called Paul, "Paul, the baby's here. So, how have you been sweetie?"
"Um, I've been okay, Dionne has been keeping me busy."
"I can tell, this little one is growing day by day. It still surprises me how much she looks like Justin."
"I know, I tell JC that same exact thing."
A silence fell over them, the same silence that falls over anyone who brings up Justin, "I miss him." Lynn says, rocking Dionne in her arms, never breaking their locked eyes.
"I do too Lynn."
Just then, Justin's stepfather Paul walked in the living room, arms already open, ready for Dionne, "Gimme that baby. How are doing Chione?" He asked, kissing her lightly on cheek before accepting the little girl.
"I'm good, really good."
"I can tell, that smile of yours hasn't been that bright in a long time."
Chione smiled softly at his comment and the four of them spent the rest of the day together.
_______________________________
"Okay darlin' she's sleeping soundly." Lynn said, sitting next to Chione at the kitchen table.
Chione finished her bit of pie and wiped her mouth, "That's all she does. I guess I should wake her pretty soon so we can get back home."
"Oh honey, it's late and she's so comfortable. Why don't you stay here with us for a few days? It's been so long since Paul and I have seen you guys."
"Oh Lynn, I don't want to put you guys out."
Lynn scoffed at her and smiled, "What put out? You're the closest thing to a daughter I have and you gave me that beautiful baby girl up there. We love it when you guys stay with us."
Chione smiled, "Thank you momma Lynn."
Lynn grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly, "Don't worry about it. How have you been financially lately? Do you need money for you two?"
"Um no. JC and my parents have been keeping my bank account full, I'll be okay for a while. I really need to start thinking about getting a job and moving closer to town."
"You need to spend all the time you can with Dionne, these years will turn out the be the easier ones of her life, let me tell you." The girls fill the kitchen with laughter, "I don't mean to pry but, what's going on with you and JC? Are you two dating now?"
"Oh no. We're just... I don't know. You know how much he's been helping me out and I'm so grateful for him but... I can't open up to him like I can with Justin. I love JC, but I'm not in love with him. But almost every time he comes over, we end up... making love."
Lynn nodded her head with understanding, "I know what you mean. It's been a while since you've been held and kissed and touched by a man, and you are craving that right now. JC is a good boy, and I know that he cares for you very much but he wouldn't take advantage of you. You don't need to worry about that."
"Yeah, I know but I feel terrible. I don't want him to feel like I’m just using him for money and sex."
Lynn chuckled softly, "You know him, JC would never think that about you. And, believe it or not, he still loves Justin and he's feeling the same things that we are feeling about him."
Chione nodded and let out a sigh, "I feel better about now that I have that off of my chest. Thank you for listening."
"Oh honey, I'm a mom, I can tell when something is on your mind. Which brings me to the next reason I came down here. You heard that Justin got out of rehab yesterday right?"
Chione nodded, "Have you heard from him momma Lynn?"
"No but, Trace called me earlier today and told me he found him strung out in an alley last night."
"Oh god." Chione closed her eyes tightly and shook her head from side to side. She didn't want to believe what Lynn was telling her.
"God's the only person that can help him now. As much as it hurts me to say this about my own son, there is nothing that we can do for him anymore. If he is willing to go and get high in an alley way where anything can happen to him, he's willing to die. And nobody can be saved from that with an intervention from God."
"But can't he see? Can't he see what he used to be, what he could still be? He has so much, a big family, lots of love, a daughter, why can't he just see what he's doing to himself?"
Only then, did Chione see Lynn tear up, "I don't know baby. He's too far gone to see those things anymore."
Chione looked out the window, "I want him to know his daughter. I don't want Dionne to grow up hating Justin, I don't want that."
"I know but Justin has left behind a legacy of goodness and you can show little Dionne old pictures and tapes, we can tell her stories about Justin and all kinds of things. We have to keep the good and loving Justin alive honey and the only way we can do that is through Dionne."
Chione nodded again, "You're right. And knowing everything that I do about him, if he were to come to me and ask me to be his again, I wouldn't think twice about saying yes."
Lynn smiled at the fact that her son had so much affect on other human beings, "Justin just has the special something. Oh my, it's late. I think it's time for me to hit the hay."
"Oh me too. Thank you for everything momma Lynn."
"I love you Chione."
"And I love you."
With that, the two women parted from the kitchen and made their separate ways to the bedrooms. Chione shed her clothing and shrugged on one of Justin's old t-shirts that Lynn still had in the dresser. She laid next to her daughter and pulled her into her chest, draping a protective arm over her little body. For the first time in a long time, she fell asleep almost instantly.
four by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
again, if you see any him/his/son, let me know but I'm pretty sure I got them all.
Jusitn opened his eyes slowly and scanned his surroundings. It took him a second to recognize where he was but he soon relaxed when he realized he was in his own room. He rubbedd his eyes and groaned inwardly, daytime came entirly to fast. He rolled his head over to the side to look out the window when the events of the previous day starting to rekindle themselves in his brain. He threw the covers off of his body and hit the floor, it had to be somewhere. He checked under the bed, in the pockets of his jeans, his shoes, everywhere. He ran to closet and checked all the usual spots but to no avail.
"Fuck! Where is it?"
"I threw it out."
Justin turned quickly to the sound of the deep voice, "You what?" He breathed deeply.
"I threw all of it out, Jay. Every last baggie. Oh, and your welcome for cleaning up your room and the rest of the house."
"Do you know how much that shit cost me?" Justin said, getting up from his place on the floor in the closet and walking up to his friend.
"I don't care. Do you know where I found you last night? You were laid up in some fucking alley, higher than a kite! You fucking peed your pants! I had to bathe you last night asshole and you want to get in my fucking face? Fuck you!"
"I never asked you pathetic ass to help me! I don't need help, I'm fine." Justin hissed.
"I'm pathetic? You don't need help? You've lost everything Justin, everything! Your mother won't talk to you, you have zero friends, no Chione and no kids because of this drug shit! Fuck man, you can't even see what's happened to you."
Trace started to walk out of the room but Justin whirled him around, "Don't give me that bullshit Trace. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be on this shit right now! You seem to forget, all high and mighty one, that you were the one that told me to do a line. 'Oh come on man, this shit is from Columbia, the best shit you'll ever have.' Or don't you remember that? You know what, without me, you'd be nothing. You'd be working at some fucking fast food restaurant, wishing that you could have just a piece of what I do! You're the pathetic one because you continue to kiss my ass and follow me around like a sick puppy. Oh, how much do you want for cleaning my house bitch?"
The two men stood there, staring at each other for what seemed like hours. Trace shook his head slowly and let out a sarcastic laugh, "Fuck it, you are on your own. I'm not gonna put up with this shit. Have a nice fucking life."
Justin watched his now former friend jog down the stairs and heard the front door slam with his departure, "Fuck him, I don't need his ass."
The trash, if Justin knew Trace, he knew that he wouldn't be smart enough to flush the cocaine, he would throw it away. Justin dashed down the stairs and into the kitchen, emptying the contents of the trash can onto the floor. Not finding what he wanted, he ran through the garage and to the big trash cans and flipped the top back. He dug through the trash like a common bum, throwing the trash bags, pizza boxes, old newspapers and everything else to the ground. When he reached the bottom, he smiled when he spotted the eight or nine baggies still full with the white powder. He grabbed at the baggies, clutching them to his chest and turned to head back into the house when I torn, tattered picture caught his eye. He picked up the picture and squinted his eyes to try and make out the image. It was a picture of Trace, Chione and himself at a resaurant in New York. It was the same day that she had told him she was pregnant, they all had went out to celebrate. The picture was torn and scratched beyond believe, probably ruined the day before when he tore up his house looking for his drugs. He remembered that it was one of his favorites of the three of them though, that was a really good night. With the picture in hand, he walked back into the house and straight over to the living room, where he pulled out some old photo albums. He sat back on his couch and looked through the rest of the pictures from that trip to New York as that night replayed in his conscience.
Justin rolled over and pryed his open to the bright, New York sun. He then laid his eyes on his girlfriend, who smiled at him from her seated position next to him, "Good morning baby." She said, widening her smile.
"Mornin'. What are you doing girl?"
"Watching you sleep."
"Can I ask why?" He chuckled.
"Because you're beautiful."
He laughed again and grabbed her leg, pulling her into his chest. As she giggled, he pressed his lips against the top of her head, and took in the strawberry smell her hair carried, "Stop it Jay. I have something to tell you." Chione said, sitting back up.
"Oh god, what did you do now?"
Her face light up with laughter, "What you mean what did I do?"
"You remember when you wrecked my car? You came in the house all quiet and said, 'Baby, I have something to tell you.'"
"First of all, that accident wasn't my fault and second, this has nothing to do with your precious cars so shut up."
He laughed with her, "Okay babe, what do you need to tell me?"
She broke eye contact with him and starting rubbing her hands together, "Well, it's pretty monumental. After I tell you this, our lives are going to change forever."
Justin laughed nervously and rubbed her thigh, "You're scaring me, what is it Chione?"
She took a deep breathe, grabbed his large hand into her tiny one and looked into his deep blue eyes, "I'm pregnant."
Justin looked her in disbelief as Chione waited for a response. A few seconds later, a smile started to spread across his face, "Really baby? We are really going to be parents?"
"Yeah babe."
His eyes started to water as he unlatched his hand from hers and put on her still flat stomach. When his fingers hit her flesh, the warmth radiating from her belly made his breath catch in his throat. He gasped lightly, the emotions taking him over as he rubbed his hand softly along her stomach. By that time, Chione was crying to and rubbed her thumb underneath his eyes, washing away the tears that were wetting his perfect face.
"You are going to be such a good mom." He whispered.
"You are going to be such a good dad, I can't image doing this with any other man but you Jay."
"I love you girl."
"And I love you baby."
By time the memory ended, more tears had spilled down his face. Ashamed of his actions the last months that they were together embarrassed him. He regretted that the most, loosing her and their child. His life had deteriorated so fast after that weekend in New York, all because of the white powder that was now sitting on his coffee table. He had pushed away his final savior, Trace, who took care of him when he went through withdrawls, who picked him up from strange places because he was to high to get himself home. Now, he was truley and utterly alone, no one cared about him or for him. He thought he was living the life but in reality, he was nothing but a strung out junkie. A junkie who had traded his friends, family and future for a few bags of coke.
He looked at the pictures of Chione, wishing that she would walk through the front door and love him again. When he knew that that wasn't going to happen, he slammed the photo album shut and threw it across the room, watching it slam against the wall and fall to the floor. He needed to forget her, forget the life they could of had, and forget the baby that she had brought into the world. He ripped open one of the bags, and spread the powder all over the black coffee table. He cut the coke into four lines, and lowered his head to the table. In one swift move, he snorted the first line with ease, sitting back and rubbing his nose roughly and the drug ripped though his nasal cavity. He repeated the ritual until the lines were nonexistant and sat back into the couch as the substance ran its course through his body. After a few minutes, when the pain of Chione hadn't subsided, he stumbled into the bathroom and gripped around for the straight razor. When his fingers felt the metal, he grabbed it and pulled off his shirt.
As he looked over his torso and stomach, he ran his fingers over the healed wounds he had inflicted on himself over the last few months. A few from the previous days before where still red and raised slightly and stung when his fingers traced them softly. He placed the razor on his chiseled stomach and slowly began to drag the razor across his abs. He hardly felt the pain because he was high but mostly because he was numb to the all familiar pain. Bright red blood began to drip form the fresh wound and slid down his stomach until the brim of his jeans soaked it up. He had gone too deep this time, it wouldn’t stop bleeding. His weak legs gave out from under him and he fell to the floor and blinked slowly as the narcotics again took over his body and the blood ran from his open wound. The tears still tumbled from his eyes but he was oblivious to it now. He closed his eyes and hoped that he would never open them again.
five by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
long time, no update, lol. Sorry, here's the new chapter and again, if you see any his/him/son/braelynn instead of her/daughter/dionne, let me know. I'm pretty sure I got them all but i could've missed one or two. Thanks for reading guys :)
Chione curled her up in the blanket she was wrapped up in when the cooler than usual California breezed whipped by. She smiled as she watched Lynn and Dionne in the yard together, Dionne dressed in the new clothes that Lynn had bought for her the previous day. Chione had ended up staying with Lynn and Paul longer than she expected but it always felt like going home when she came to visit Lynn. It was just a warm, loving environment, who wants to leave a place like that? And Lynn made it so damn hard for her to leave, every time Chione announced that they would be leaving, Lynn would come up with some kind of excuse for them not to go. But, she just wanted to spend time with her granddaughter, the last piece of the son she used to know.
"Hey, look what the cat dragged in."
Chione turned to Paul to voice and smiled at the man behind him, "Trace."
She stood up and embraced him, and giggled as he pulled back and looked her up and down, "Damn girl, and you had a baby how many months ago?!"
"Oh shut up. God it's been a long time, you look so good Trace."
"Aww thank you, and so do you. Where the little one?"
"Out there with Lynn." She pointed to them out on the lawn as Lynn turned toward them and waved.
The three of the waved back and took their seats on the patio, "So how’s life been for you?" Chione asked Trace.
"Oh you know, pimping all over the world."
"Quit playin', you couldn't pimp a prostitute if your life depended on it."
Trace clicked his teeth, "Ha ha, very funny. Nice language around your daughter."
"Right and you are going to be father of the year pimp."
Just then, Lynn walked up onto the patio with Dionne on her hip, "Well if it isn't a sight for sore eyes. How are you doing Trace?"
Trace stood and kissed Lynn on the cheek and then accepted Dionne from her, "I've been pretty good momma Lynn, how have you been?"
"I've been just fine, just fine."
"I'm starving, how about I go out and pick up some grub?" Paul said, standing to his feet.
"That's a great idea honey, you two hungry?"
"Yeah, sure, I could eat." Chione said.
"You know me, I'm down to eat anytime." Trace said bouncing Dionne on his knee.
Paul and Lynn laughed, then kissed each other goodbye, "she looks so much like him." Trace whispered after a few minutes of silence, while studying the baby.
"She looks more and more like him everyday, even acts like him sometimes. How's he been?" Chione asked just a quietly.
Trace shook his head and looked down at the ground, "You sure you wanna hear this momma Lynn?"
"He's my son Trace." She answered firmly.
He sighed, "Not good. Before he was sentenced to rehab, he was... insane. Everything he did revolved around the drugs. He started messing with them nasty ass hookers and I would find him in these nasty, broken down crack houses. Then, the first day he's home from rehab, he drives down to city and gets high in an alley. When I found him, he was so high he had pissed his own pants. He lost a lot of weight, he doesn't eat, and if I didn't physically have to bathe him, i'm not sure he would be doing it on his own. He's just agitated and paranoid all the time."
The despairing news threw the two women for a loop. Even after rehab, he still couldn't keep his hands off of that shit, "Is he at home now?" Lynn asked.
"Yeah, he was pissed off because I threw out his coke. I just... I can't help him anymore momma Lynn. He's way past gone and I had to walk away from him today, I had to."
Water glistened in his eyes and he put his head down, to embarrassed to show the women his true emotions. As he bounced Dionne on his knee, trying to fight back the tears, Lynn put her hand on the back of his neck, rubbing his slowly and softly, letting her motherly instincts take over, "It's okay Trace. You did all that you could for him. Sometimes, you just have to walk away."
"I know but... he's my best friend momma Lynn."
"And he was the love of my life, but we had to walk away Trace. He pushed us away from him." Chione said, grabbing his free hand and squeezing it gently.
"He still thinks about you, I knew he does. I would catch him looking through old pictures of you guys and sometimes I could hear him crying at night. I know he was crying over you and this baby girl."
Chione couldn't say anything but her heart skipped a beat. He thought about her, he thought about Dionne. It wasn't much but it was something, the old Justin was still in there somewhere. Trace shook his head roughly, rubbing the tears from his face and let out a laugh. He raised Dionne over his head and smiled at her, "Let's not talk about this anymore, let's get the baby inside before she freezes to death."
A few hours later, after everyone was full and Dionne was asleep, Trace and Chione sat together in the living room, flipping though the channels aimlessly. Lynn and Paul had retired upstairs to take a nap themselves and the house was filled with a comfortable silence.
"So is JC still stopping by to see you?" Trace asked.
"Yeah, he comes by pretty much every week to see Dionne and give me some money, which I feel terrible for."
"Don't worry about it, he's got the cash, he doesn't mind. Are two still... you know." That all-to-familiar smile spread across his face and Chione pushed his shoulder roughly.
"That is none of your business asshole."
"I knew it! Look at Chione gettin' her pimp on."
"Oh stop it. It's not even like that."
"I know, i know," Trace said, settling down, "I understand babe, after spending all that time with the little one, you need some adult conversation. I got you."
"JC's a good guy, you know? I just don't want him to feel like i'm using him and I don't want to lead him on."
"He won't think that. We both know JC."
I got silent between the two of them again, "Has he mentioned the baby to you at all? Has he asked any questions about her?" Chione asked.
Trace shook his head no, "No, I told him when you had given birth and told him what hospital you were at. He told me he was going to go see you but he went out and got fucked up, that's the last time we said anything about it."
Chione looked around the living room. That little hope she had in Justin died with Trace's last statement. He knew about Dionne but was to selfish to come and see his own daughter, "I wasn't lying when I told you he still thinks about you earlier. Sometimes, when I would have to go pick him up from where-ever the hell, he would call me Chione. He would ask me if the baby was okay and tell me that I was a good mother."
"For the longest time, I wondered if he still thought about us. I wondered if he still cared and apparently, somewhere deep down he does, he just needs to get away from the drugs. I still love him Trace." Chione cried.
Trace pulled her into his chest and rubbed his hand up and down her back, "I know you do girl. But I can't tell you if you are ever going to be with him again."
"I know that, I just want him to have a relationship with his daughter, they both deserve that."
"Maybe something will click for him one day and he'll reach out to you. He'll have to reach rock bottom before he can start making his way to the top again."
"I had a feeling that you weren’t telling us all of what's been happening earlier."
He laughed, "Who are you, Sylvia Brown now? Are you gonna start making appearances on the Montel show?"
"Shut up. Tell me."
Trace sighed and looked down at jeans, "He's been cutting himself. I can't tell for how long but he has scars everywhere. I had to take him to the hospital one time cuz I walked in on him passed out in his bathroom, bleeding from a cut on his side."
Chione's hand flew to her face, "My god." She whispered.
"If he doesn't get help, he's gonna kill himself." Trace said lowly.
"We have to get him some help Trace."
"What are we going to do Chione? He doesn't want to hear anything I have to say and he'll treat you the same way."
"I don't care, I don't want to turn on the tv and hear that he was found dead in some alley!" Chione stated agrily.
"I don't want that either but you don't know him anymore. He is not that person that you fell in love with anymore. Don't you remember how he treated you? Don't you remember calling me in the middle of the night because he beat you up-"
"Yes Trace, I do remember! I had to live through that shit so don't you dare try and act like I'm being the stupid ex-girlfriend. I lived through his rages first hand."
"And you think that I didn't? How do you think I felt during all of that bullshit? Having to be in the middle all the time, taking care of you when he beat the shit of you and then having to go over and bathe his ass cuz he pissed himself. So I lived through it too Chione, I lived through both of you guys bullshit."
The silence had taken over again, but this time it wasn't all the comfortable, "I'm sorry okay? I don't like hearing you being all caught up in him still."
"He needs the help Trace. You said it yourself, he'll kill himself if he doesn't get any help and support."
He sighed deeply again, "Okay, what do you wanna do?"
"I wanna see him."
"I don't think that's a good idea Chi."
This time, it was her time to sigh, "What the hell did you think I was talking about when I said we needed to get him help? He won't trust a complete stranger."
"He won't trust us either."
Chione threw her arms over her chest and tapped her foot against the floor, "Why are you being so indecisive? You just said that you want to help him and now it's not a good idea for me to see him?"
"You are not gonna like what you are going to see, that's all."
"I don't care about that. Are you going to help me or not?"
Trace stared at the TV for a second, weighing his options, "Yes."
"When can I see him?"
"Whenever you want. He's still living at the same place."
"Okay."
"But, we are not taking Dionne with us. She might only be eight months, but I refuse to let her see that kinda shit."
"Deal. Thank you Trace."
"Don't thank me, remember, I tried to talk you out of it."
She smiled softly, "Noted."
"I hope you are ready for this."
"You know that saying when it rains, it pours?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it's been raining for a long time and i'm ready for it to stop."
Author's Notes:
happy reading!
Justin awoke from his stupor groggily. His head was pounding and the fresh cuts that he had inflicted over the past few days burned. Most of his days started like this, he would awake, not knowing where he was. He would try and make it through the day like normal people would but the aching in his body would come back. The yearning for the white powder would cloud his senses and before he knew it, he would be passed out again, waiting for the morning light to wake him again. But today was different, he was horny today. His body was already reacting to his thoughts, his dick was hard, he needed somebody fast. In similar situations, a porn and some lotion would suffice but it had been three months since he had penetrated a woman. The thought of sliding into a warm, wet woman sent chills down his spine as names flashed in his mind. Miranda, Sarah, Tracy, Shauna, countless names clicked through his brain but they wouldn't do. Cameron. That's what he needed. He climbed to his feet and searched for his phone, finding it on the coffee table. Searching through the database, he found her name quickly, pushing send to try and connect to his booty call.
It rang three times and then her tired voice rang through his ears, "Hello?" She yawned.
"Cameron? It's me."
She was silent, "Justin? Really?"
"Yeah baby, it's me. What are doing right now?"
"Nothing, you woke me up."
"Oh I'm sorry. Do you want me to call you back later or something?" He laid on the charm thick so she wouldn't deny him.
"No, it's cool. You want me to come over?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah, I've missed you."
She giggled softly, "I've missed you too honey. I'll be there in five minutes."
"See you then."
He clicked off the phone and jetted up to his bedroom to get ready for her. He brushed his teeth and hair, and then shaved off the god-awful beard that had over taken his features. Once it was gone, he rubbed his clean chin and saw himself for the first time in a long time. It felt nice, he looked like that old person. Just then, the doorbell rang and a shiver went down his spine again, he dick jumped against his boxers, they were so close. He ran down to the door and opened it slowly, revealing the jacket-clad Cameron Diaz.
"Hey girl."
She smiled, "Hey yourself. Looks like you are ready for me already." She said looking down at his hard member.
"What can I say baby, this is what you do to me."
He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, their lips meeting forcefully for the first time in months. His tongue broke the barrier and explored her mouth, occasionally licking her thin lips. He picked her up, causing her to break into a fit of giggles again, and carried her up to his room. Once inside, he sat her down on her feet and removed her long jacket to find nothing. Not a stitch of clothing on her slim, tall body.
"Are you cold?"
"Yeah, but I knew you would warm me up."
He smiled at her answer and returned his mouth to hers, letting them fall back onto the bed and feeling her hands roaming up and down his back. His boxers were shed quickly, his hard dick rubbing up against her inner thigh. She moaned softly, begging him to slip it in. He pushed inside of her, starting his pace off quickly. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling over her tight walls around his thick penis. He let his hand run down her body, letting his thumb rest on her throbbing clit, messaging is slowly as her breath quickened. She began moving her hips with him, grinding her hips into his to get him deeper inside of her.
"Jesus..." Cameron breathed as her walls began to contract around him.
Justin felt the heat from her soaking core intense and he knew she was close to her release. She hands dug into his sides and spread her legs wider, gripping she sheets tightly as she braced herself for the powerful eruption. He thrust into her a few more times before Justin let himself go inside of her, filling her body with another warmth. He collapsed on top of her, their slightly sweaty skin sticking together. He laid his head on her chest and smiled as he felt her hands move through his curly hair.
"I thought you said you didn't like your hair this long?" She whispered.
"I don't but they wouldn't let me cut it when I was in rehab."
"Hmm."
That was the extent of their conversation before Justin rolled off of her and onto the bed. She had fallen asleep within minutes, leaving Justin alone to his thoughts again. He got out of the bed and walked into his bathroom. He turned on the sink and put his hands under the water, collecting a little pool to splash over his face. The cool liquid felt good against his hot skin and he held his hands against his face for a few minutes more, soaking up the feeling. He leaned against the counter and looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes glancing over his uncovered torso. He wondered why she hadn't said anything about the cuts, there was no way she could have missed them.
He looked over in the corner of mirror as Cameron shifted around in his bed, wrapping the sheets around her naked body. He used to watch Chione just like that too.
"Don't think about her." He said to himself, staring at his reflection.
His mind refused to listen to him, replaying old memories and good times that he and Chione had shared. He remembered sometimes in the morning, before she would awake, he would lay on his side with his hand on her flat stomach. He would watch his hand rise and fall with her stomach, amazed at the warmth of her skin.
"Stop it." He breathed, closing his eyes.
As fast as that memory came, it was gone, replaced with a new one. When his drug use began to increase, his temper began to get worse with her. His hand that once laid on her delicate stomach was now the hand that slapped her across the face when she confronted him about the coke. The warmth of her stomach was replaced with bruises that his violent rages left on her, sending her to the hospital more than once, with fear of loosing the baby. The little bump on her stomach became the brunt of his hatred, telling her she ruined his life with that bastard baby.
"Justin please stop! Please, I'm sorry!"
Her terrified voice rang through his ears like she was standing right next to him. Justin threw his hands to the sides of his head, trying to suppress the memories.
"Shut up! Leave me alone."
The sound of his voice woke Cameron. She sat up in the bed and witnessed him fall to the floor with his head in his hands. She jumped from the bed and to his side, putting her hands on his shoulders, "Justin?"
"Get away from me!" He shrugged her hands off of his shoulders and continued to mumble to himself.
"What happened Justin? It's okay baby-"
"I said get away from me!"
He stood up quickly and pushed her violently from the bathroom, back into the bedroom. She stumbled but caught her footing before she fell. He came at her full force, grabbing her arms and pushing her again, "Get out of my house you whore!"
The look in his eyes petrified her, darkness and rage had filled them. She grabbed her coat from the floor and ran out of the room, hearing his voice screaming at her as she made her way down the stairs and out of the house.
His freak-out scared him as well, but he couldn't calm himself as his breath quickened. He laid back in his bed, throwing the covers over his body and curling himself into a fetal position. His body shook violently and he tried to calm himself, holding himself tightly. The tears rushed to the surface of his eyes as the consequences of his actions took their toll on his already thin, tired body. This is how Justin spent his day, paranoid, terrified and sick. He vomited violently, emptying his stomach in the toilet endless times.
This was his life. This was the life of Justin Timberlake.
seven by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry guys, had a little internet trouble over the weekend. I hope you guys had a wonderful thanksgiving and I hope you enjoy the newness!!
"I'm not sure I want you two to go." Lynn said, pacing the kitchen the next morning.
Paul stood, leaning up against the island in the middle of the large kitchen, Trace was positioned next to the refridgerator. Chione stood next to Trace, trying desperatly to get Lynn to approve, "He needs us Lynn. He's been cutting himself and that's dangerous stuff. Now that he's alone, he could really hurt himself and have no one there to get him to a hospital. He could die and no one would know." She whispered.
Lynn shook her head and tried to fight back the tears, "What if he's all crazy again? What if he starts swinging at you Chione? It's hard enough for me to deal with the fact that he used to hit you."
"That's when I step in momma Lynn. I won't let him hurt her or himself." Trace said.
Lynn stopped in front of her husband and leaned into him, crying into his chest. Paul threw his arms around his lady, rubbing her back slowing and allowing her to wet his shirt. Trace and Chione put their heads down, knowing how hard it was for her to know that her pride and joy was doing this to himself.
"Please bring my baby home to me." She whispered, facing Chione and Trace.
"We'll try our best momma Lynn." Chione whispered back.
"I uh, I'm gonna go check on Dionne. Be safe." Lynn said back, leaving the kitchen abruptly.
Paul watched her leave and then turned back to the two, "She'll be alright, it's hard on her. It's hard on all of us. Just, if he gets out of control, call me."
Chione and Trace shook their heads and smiled weakly as Paul jogged up the stairs to join his wife. Trace and Chione stood in the kitchen for a few minutes more, not really sure if they were ready to brave their journey, "You ready?" Trace asked after a while.
"I think so."
He grabbed the keys off of the counter and waited for Chione to grab her purse before walking through the foyer and out the front door. They climbed into the large Escalade and listened to the engine hum to life. Within minutes, they were on the freeway, not speaking, not listening to music, nothing. Both of their heads were swimming with thoughts and questions, both hoping that he'd be okay. Chione watched as they flew past the other cars, making them inches closer to Justin estate. Chione saw the exit up ahead and closed her eyes tightly. It was now or never, all she had to do was say the word. She looked over at Trace and saw the same fear that she had written all over his face. He wanted her to say the word, she could tell. The closer and closer the exit came, the harder Trace gripped the steering wheel. He put on the blinker and moved over into the lane that was closest to the exit. Chione mouth opened but nothing came out. The car kept rolling toward the exit sign, bringing them closer and closer to what they considered hell.
It seemed as though they both had stopped breathing when they finally reached the exit and left the freeway. They went around the bend, slowing down to 30 like the sign said to do and came to the stop light. Only then did they breathe again; there was no turning back now. The scenery soon became familiar to Chione again, she hadn't been down that way in so long she was afraid that she had forgotten the way. Trace maneuvered them through the streets with ease but he did so slowly, not wanting to reach Justin before they really had to.
They drove up over the hill and spotted the sign to the neighborhood. Trace put on the blinker and slowed down. He turned into the community and slowed to a stop at the gates.
"Oh, how you doing Trace?" The old man said, stepping out from the box at the gates.
"I'm alright Mr. Thomas, how are you?"
"I'm good, i'm good. Who you got with you there?"
"Uh, Chione. You remember Chione don't you? She used to live with Justin."
The old man bent down slightly, peering past Trace and into the passengers seat. His face lit up with a smile when her face rejogged his memory, "Of course I remember Chione. It's been a long time since I've seen you around here sweety, how have you been?"
"I've been very well Mr. Thomas, it's good to see you again."
"You too baby. You know I have to ask you for the password."
"Rockstar 67895." Trace spoutted out.
"Alrighty, you guys have a nice day and it was good seeing you again Chione darling."
"You too Mr. Thomas."
With that, the old security guard hit the button and gates opened up to them. Trace pulled through slowly and started down the long street, "The password is still Rockstar?" Choine said, trying to take her mind off of everything else.
"Yeah, they usually change it after a while but I guess they haven't had time."
"Hmm, yeah."
"He asked about you a lot after you left." Trace said, not taking his eyes off the road.
"Who?"
"Mr. Thomas. You were his favorite girlfriend of Justin's, he asked about you for weeks when he stopped seeing you."
She laughed quietly, "That's sweet."
A few more minutes went by before Chione felt the car slowing down again. Trace turned into the driveway but was met by another pair of gates. He put the car in park and leaned back in his seat, "We're here."
The both stared up at the large house, weighing their options internally, "We can turn back." Trace said.
Chione shook her head, "No we can't."
He sighed again, "Yes, we can. You don't know what he's been like, he's not the same."
"He hasn't been the same for a long time. You seem to forget that I've seen his behavior as well, I know it's not him."
"So you're sure you want to do this?"
"I'm positive Trace, open the gates."
Trace rolled down the window and typed in the four digit password. The gates swung open, allowing them access to Justin's home. Trace pulled the Escalade further down into the driveway and parked it in front of the garage doors. He shut the car off and stepped out, locking the doors after he heard Chione's door close. They walked slowly together up the walkway and to the front door, Chione taking the lead. Once they reached the front door, Chione paused and looked at Trace, waiting for him to cough up the key to the house. He fumbled around with the key chain for a minute and then placed the keys in its respected place on the door, twisting it to the right to gain entry. He pushed the door knob down and pushed the door open, revealing the empty and quiet foyer.
Chione stepped into the house, the sound of her feet hitting the floor filling the silence. Trace stepped in and shut the door behind them and stood in his spot as Chione looked around. So many memories she had in that foyer. She remembered walking through that door and through that foyer countless times, dropping her purse and shoes next to the wall and walking straight into the kitchen to get dinner ready. She walked further into the living room and stopped, she and Justin used to spend a lot of their time in the living room. Watching movies, talking, spending time with their friends and family; she could practically hear the laughter radiating through the walls.
He had kept the furniture that they had picked out together. She ran her hand over the white leather of the couch, smiling at the distant memory. They had fought terribly over that couch, she had fallen in love with it and he hated it. After a few days, he had given in and they ended up buying the entire set, couch, love seat, coffee table and end table. She looked down at the once black coffee table and noticed the white powder than now coated it. She ran her hands though her hair and then turned back to Trace, "It's quiet."
"He's probably passed out somewhere."
"Don't be like that okay? Let's just find him and get him out of here."
Trace sighed again and ran his hand over her head, "Shall we start upstairs?"
"Sure."
They made their way over to the stairs and started to climb them slowly. When they reached the top the walked across the cat walk and came to the closed master bedroom door. Chione twisted the knob slowly and pushed open the door, peeking around the room as she swung the door open. Light spilled into the otherwise dark room, illuminating the non moving lump in the bed. Chione and Trace walked slowly into the room, Chione walking around the bed to face Justin, Trace stopping at the other side. Chione kneeled down and swallowed hard, her breathe quickening with each passing second.
She reached her hand up to the sheets and she noticed how hard she was shaking. When her finger tips hit the sheet, she gripped it softly, pulling back to reveal the sleeping Justin. She let out a labored breath, her eyes glazing over with tears when she saw his beautiful face for the first time in what seemed like years. He looked so peaceful, lying there with the sheets wrapped around his body. Looking at him, you would never guess that he was addicted to such a dangerous drug. Everything looked like normal. Before she knew what she was doing, she let her hand fall to his face, her finger tips running softly down the side of his face. The softness of his skin was just as she remembered it and a soft smile came to her face. She let her thumb run down his nose and along his lips, etching his face into her mind.
Just then, the sleeping form began to shift and move. He took in a deep breath and then let it out, moving his head from side to side. He raised his back slowly off of the bed and the layed back down, his eyes fluttering slightly. He breathed out heavily again but then, stopped moving, making Chione and Trace think that he hadn't fully awakened. Chione stood back up and was about the motion to Trace to leave when Justin's eyes popped open.
eight by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry for the delay! hope you enjoy!
Chione stood still as Justin blinked his eyes and tried to focus on her. She believed that if she didn't move, he would drift back into his slumber, not knowing any the wiser. But this didn't happen, as soon as Justin's cyan eyes focused on her, he jumped from his laying position and sat up.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" He asked.
"We needed to talk to you Jay." Trace said from the opposite side of the bed.
Justin whipped his head over to Trace, "Jesus! What the fuck is going on?"
"He's right Justin. We came over here to talk to you and to get you some help."
"What the fuck makes you think you can just walk into somebody's house?" He says, reaching to the end of the bed and picking up his gray t-shirt.
Justin slid the shirt over his head and stood from the bed, "Aren't you going to answer me? Who the fuck do you think you are?!"
Chione felt her breath start to quicken as his tall figure loomed over her, casting a dark shadow over her entire body, "We just... umm..."
"What makes you think I want your skank ass in my house again? I haven't seen your dumb ass in what, like a year now and all of a sudden you wanna help me?"
He stepped towards her, causing her to back up in to the wall. Trace threw himself in between the two of them before Justin could step any closer, "Don't." Trace said firmly.
Justin laughed sarcastically and crossed his hands over his chest, "You two are really something you know that? I would advise you both to get the fuck out of my house before I call the police and have you arrested."
"Man, we are just trying to help you. We've been thinking a lot about you and we want you to get better." Trace said.
"There is nothing wrong with me! I don't need your sympathy nor do I want to waste my time with your bullshit. I'm calling the police."
Justin turned and walked over to the night stand to pick up the phone. He dialed 911 and waited patiently for the operator to pick up, "Yeah, I'm at 8763 Sunset Lane and I have two intruders in my home."
"Intruders?! I'm the mother of your fucking child and I'm an intruder?!" Chione screamed angrily at him, catching both of the men off guard for a second.
Justin regained his composure and kept talking to the dispatcher, "I want them out of here now!"
Chione stalked over to him quickly, grabbing the phone from the side of his face and throwing it to the other side of room, "Who the fuck do you think you are? I gave birth to your daughter eight months ago and have been playing mommy and daddy for all of that time you selfish bastard! Then, you want to call the police on me like i'm some common whore who won't leave you alone? You have some nerve."
"I have some nerve! You are in my house-"
"This used to be my house too! I gave you everything, my life, my body, my soul, and this is how you want to treat me of all people? I'm the only one who ever loved you Justin and you know it!"
"Fuck you! I never needed you! I could have had any fucking bitch I wanted but I gave my pity to you! You'd still be struggling through school and working two jobs to support yourself if it wasn't for me!"
It was Chione turn to laugh now, "You seem to forget that I dropped out of school and quit my jobs for you! Your pathetic, sappy ass couldn't sleep alone in the dark by yourself for half an hour without me next to you, you selfish asshole."
"This is what I get for messin' with niggers, they never know when to shut up." Justin said, throwing his hands up in the air.
Chione's chest rose and fell harshly, her hands balled at her sides. It was taking all of her might not to punch him dead in his nose, "Yeah, this is what you get for messin' with a nigger. And that's what you get for knocking up a nigger too."
"I never wanted you or the fucking baby!" Justin roared at her, "You just don't get it! You ruined my life when you told me you were pregnant, I wasn't ready for that shit! And you say that you're the only one that loved me? The only reason you got pregnant was to trap me with you because you knew we weren't going anywhere!"
"You are a riot, you know that? You can tell yourself whatever you want but you know that you wanted this baby more than anything in the world! That child is the only good thing you have ever done in your life."
"Right, and when I told you I loved you, I really meant it." Justin said sarcastically, shooting her a mean glare out of the corner of his eyes, "I wish I had killed you and that baby of yours that Saturday night."
Her breath caught in her throat when the words left his lips. The vivid memories of the savage beating scattered their way into her head as the doctors words echoed throughout her mind.
My god, i've never seen a case this bad before. The doctors worked for hours on end, trying to save her and Dionne’s life. They had thought she had miscarried before she was only five months a long and no fetus could take that kind of abuse and survive. Chione lost herself within that moment, not only for herself but for her child. She lunged at Justin, and punched his square in the face, causing him to stumble backwards and cover his face with his hands.
"How dare you?! How dare you speak about your daughter like that!" She screamed.
She ran at him again, jumping on his back and swinging at him violently. Justin screamed out in pain as her finger nails dug into his skin, as her tiny hands slammed against his back, sides everywhere else. Trace stood back in horror, not knowing what either one of them would do if he intervened. Justin swung around violently, trying to rid her off of his back. He tripped over one of his shoes, sending the two of the to the floor. Chione didn't give way, however, she kept swatting and kicking at him, rolling on top of him and punching him in the chest. Justin rolled them back over and tried to hold her arms down but to no avail.
Chione kneed Justin in between the legs and Justin instantly released his hands and groaned loudly. Chione scrambled to her feet and watched him roll around with his hands on his dick, trying to catch his breath. Never once had she wanted to see anyone in as much pain as Justin was, but she enjoyed it. Now he was hurting physically like she mad emotionally, it was her turn to make him bleed.
Just then, two police officers busted into the room, guns drawn, "Put your hands in the air! Put them in the air now!"
Trace and Chione did as they were told as one of the policeman walked over to Justin and helped him up, "Are you okay sir?"
"Just get them out of my fucking house! Get your hands off of me!"
"Which one of them did this to you?" The policeman asked.
"That bitch right there."
His remark sent rage through her body again, she lurched toward him again but was stopped by two strong arms. The policeman tried his best to subdue her but the wildness in her had taken over, making her claw and scratch at him trying to get to Justin. The cop picked her up and tried to back out of the room as Chione kicked wildly at Justin, screaming obscenities at him. Trace tried his best to talk the police out of letting her go, but Justin told the cop to arrest him to because Trace had also broke into his home. The policeman cuffed Trace and lead him down the stairs after Chione. The first cop threw Chione up against the car and cuffed her quickly and then threw her into the back of the squad car. Trace was soon placed next to her and they watched as the two policemen apologized to Justin and asked if he needed an ambulance. Justin declined their offer and waved them off, smiling at Trace and Chione in the back seat.
"Bastard! You bastard!" Chione cried, kicking the back of the driver’s seat violently.
"Calm down. Just calm down." Trace said.
The ride to the police station was a long one, Chione was still angry as hell as the cops escorted her into the police station. Trace followed behind her, his head hung low. Justin showed up a few minutes more to make his formal complaint against the two. They finger printed Trace and Chione together and then took their mug shots. They threw them into separate cells right next to each other and informed them that Justin was going to be filing assault charges against Chione and trespassing against the both of them.
"Tell him to shove it right up his boney ass!" Chione said to the female police officer.
The woman ignored her and kept talking, "You both will get your one phone call in about ten minutes. Behave until then."
She left them to themselves and Trace let out a sigh, "That fucking bastard."
Chione laughed lowly, "Who are you gonna call?"
"Lynn, she can get us outta here."
Chione shook her head, "I'm sorry."
Trace scooted up to the edge of their cells and encouraged her to do the same. He reached through the bars and grabbed her now shaking hands, "This is not your fault. You had every right to punch that prick in his face. You have one hell of a right hook girl."
They laughed quietly, "Don't worry baby girl, Lynn will get us out of here."
Well, that's what they thought. When Lynn and Paul got down to the station, the officers informed them that since Justin was pressing criminal charges, Trace and Chione would have to go before a judge and have a bail set before they could be released.
"You don't understand officer Mansfield, Justin Timberlake is a drug addict, they were just over there to get him some help. This is a big misunderstanding; Trace and Chione are good kids."
"They committed a crime, and then the girl assaulted him. Drug addict or not, he has the right to press charges. The broke into his home-"
"They didn't break in anywhere! They had a key!" Paul said in defense of Trace and Chione.
"Mr. Timberlake didn't want them there and since it is his property, he can claim breaking and entering. Ms. Sanders and Mr. Ayala will see the judge on Tuesday, until then, they have to spend the weekend with us."
"Well, can we see them?" Lynn asked, annoyed.
"Yes."
The deputy lead them back to the holding cells. Trace and Chione stood up when they saw Paul and Lynn coming through the door, "Good god." Lynn said, embracing Chione and then Trace through the bars, "We are going to get you two out of here, don't you worry."
Paul informed Trace and Chione that they would have to spend the weekend in jail and see the judge on Tuesday and only then, could they come home. Tears clouded over Chione's eyes, "I've never been away from Dionne for this long."
"She'll be fine with us honey. Don't worry, I will have you two out of here in a flash. Just keep your head low and don't talk to anyone in here."
"Can't you at least put them in the same cell? Who knows what kind of trash will fill these cells over the weekend." Paul said to the deputy.
"No, men in one cell, women in the other."
The rest of the day was a blur for Chione. They had been arrested on a Friday night so soon, their cells were filled with prostitutes and drunks. Trace and Chione stayed huddled up at the sides of their cells, holding each others hands while people vomited on the floors and nasty women screamed and banged on the bars. It was going to be one hell of a weekend.
nine by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry guys, my internet has been popping on and off but here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!
"My god, Jay." Cameron said as she walked into the bathroom.
Justin was leaning against the counter, damping a wet washcloth over his bruised and puffy face, "Oww, fuck!"
"Here let me see."
She took the cloth from him and began to dab it across his face slowly, trying not to miss any spots on him, "Look what the bitch did to me Cam, look."
He raised his shirt and revealed the welts, cuts and bruises that laid on his chest and stomach, "Jesus, she's a fucking beast." Cameron said, "How the hell did they get into the house?"
"Trace had a key still and they just walked on in. I'm getting the locks changed tomorrow morning. I still can fucking believe they had the balls to walk into my house and then for her to beat me up."
"Shhh, calm down, come here."
Justin lumbered over to her and placed himself into her awaiting arms. She wrapped them tightly around him and ran her hand through his hair. She left light kisses along the side of his face, "I wish you had called me. I would have beat the bitch to the ground for you."
Justin chuckled and leaned back, wrapping his arms around her waist, "You would have huh?"
She giggled and nodded, "I wouldn't let her hurt you baby. Not after what she's done to you already by having that baby."
"Let's not talk about this anymore, let's watch a movie."
"Okay."
The climbed into Justin's bed together and turned on the TV, Justin throwing his arm over her head and pushing her into his side. They flipped through the channels and talked quietly about their nonsense when they heard a loud bang come from downstairs. Justin and Cameron jumped and she huddled against Justin as they waited for another sound. Justin got up from the bed and went to his closet, grabbing his the vintage baseball bat the he had meant to hang on the wall ages ago. He brought it up over his head and inched his way to his closed bedroom door. Just as he was about to open it, the door flew open and in walked Lynn.
"Momma?" He breathed.
Lynn walked right past him and look at Cameron, "Out." She said, pointing to the door.
"You can't tell me to get out! This isn't you house!" Cameron screamed getting up from the bed and walking over to Justin.
"So help me God, if she isn't walking out that front door in three seconds i'll throw her out myself."
The darkness in Lynn's voice was something that Justin had never heard before but he stood his ground, "You can't boss me around anymore. This is my house and Cameron stays."
"Get out of here now!" Lynn boomed.
Cameron's eyes widen at Justin's mother and she scurried out of the room as quickly as her thin legs could carry her. As soon as Lynn heard the front door slam, she turned back to her son and pointed to the bed, "Sit."
"No." Justin threw his arms over his broad chest and looked down at her.
I used to be the man in my hometown
Until I started to lose my way
It all goes back to when I dropped out at school
Having fun, I was living the life
"You might be and adult, but that doesn't make you a man. Just what do you think you are doing?"
"Talking to you."
"Don't get smart with me boy. I am still your mother and you will give me the respect I deserve. I'm talking about Trace and Chione, why did you have them arrested?"
"They broke into my house without my consent and then that little wench beat me up. I had the goddamn right to have them arrested."
"Let's get something straight here, you will not call her names in front of me. She is the mother of your child young man and-"
"Why do you all keep saying that? She's the mother of her child, not mine. I never wanted that bastard baby."
Lynn slapped him across the face and pointed her finger in his face, "Don't you ever say that about her again, you hear me? Don't you dare say another bad word about that precious baby, you damn jerk. I am sick and tired of this! I don't even know who you are anymore Justin and it makes me sick. You make me sick!"
But now I got a problem with that little white rock
See I can't put down the pipe
She walked away from him and paced his room, "You used to be so kind and loving and caring. You were so happy when she told you she was pregnant; nobody could wipe the smile off of your face. What happened to that man?"
"He woke up and smelled the coffee. Chione got pregnant to trap me in that bullshit relationship. She knew I was going to end it soon."
Lynn laughed and shook her head, "Okay big man. You think whatever you want to think but deep down inside, you know the truth. The drugs did this to you, not Chione, not Trace, not me and certainly not that beautiful baby you helped to create."
It's breaking me down
Watching the world spin round
While my dreams fall down
Is anybody out there?
"Are you done yet? I'd like to get back to my movie." Justin scoffed at her.
The anger boiled over and sent Lynn into a rage, "No, I'm not done with you! Look at these pictures, look at them!" She screamed as she thrust the glossy pictures into his face.
"What is-"
"That is your daughter! That is my beautiful, bright eyed granddaughter. The only good part of you that I have left."
It is breaking me down
No more friends around...
And my dreams fall down...
Is anybody out there?
She threw the pictures to the ground and stomped back over to his door, "You know, the first time the nurses handed you to me, I couldn't have been prouder than I was in that moment. Now, I just regret it. I'm embarrassed to call you my son."
Can anybody out there hear me?
'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me?
'Cause I can't seem to see myself...
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself
And with that, she turned on her heel and walked out on him, leaving him standing dumbfounded in the middle of the room. He heard her engine roar to life and then her squeal out of his driveway and only then, did he move. He bent down and picked up the five by seven's and sat at the foot of his bed. His eyes softened and his mouth gaped open when his eyes took in his daughter for the first time. She looked so much like him, her big blue eyes, her lips and cheek bones, everything. He could see Chione in the little girl too, her face shape resembled hers. He flipped to another picture and let out a sob when his eyes landed on the little girl being held by Chione. Her smiling face looked tired, she must have just given birth to her in the hours before the photograph. Trace was next to Chione, cheek to cheek with her.
Losing my way
Keep losing my way...
Keep losing my way...
Can you help me find my way?
Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way...
Can you help me find my way?
He flipped to another picture of Chione, Trace and the baby in JC's arms. Justin gripped the pictures tightly, anger filling his body as he looked at JC holding his daughter. He quickly replaced the picture with another one and his body relaxed again. The little girl was a few months older now, the picture was of her smiling in her crib. The tears falling down Justin's face quickened at the sight of this picture, his little girl. He traced the picture with his finger, etching his daughter's face into his memory banks.
Now you gotta understand I was a family man
I would have done anything for my own
But I couldn't get a grip on my new found itch
So I ended up all alone
He then flipped to a picture of Trace, Chione, JC, Lynn, Paul, Chris, Joey, and Lance with his daughter in Paul's arms. A happy birthday sign hung above their heads and someone had scribbled 'The big six months old' underneath the happy birthday. The smiles on all of their faces seemed to radiate through the picture; Justin felt the warm of them all. The next picture was of Chione and Joey, throwing up gang signs and trying to look gangster. Justin chuckled at the photograph, Chione and Joey together was always a fun time. They brought out the inner child in each other. He flipped through the rest of the pictures that his mother had left at him and sat in awe of the being he had created with Chione. All of his words from earlier that day coming back to haunt him.
I remember where I was when I got my first buzz
See I thought I was living the life
And the craziest thing is I'll probably never know the color of my daughter's eyes
He closed his eyes tightly and tried to block out his harsh words to Chione. He flipped through the pictures and found the one of his daughter smiling at the camera in his crib and grabbed at a picture frame on his nightstand. He ripped the random picture of himself and Cameron out and replaced it with his daughter, smiling as he sat it back on the nightstand. He found the beautiful photograph of Chione and his daughter and sat it on the bed. He got up, walked into his bathroom and rummaged around, looking for tape. When he found some, he walked back into his bedroom and grabbed the pictures. He began to tape them to his wall, one after the other until every last picture had covered the white wall.
Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way
Can you help find my way?
Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way
Can you help me find my way?
Satisfied with his work, he threw the tape on the nightstand and smiled at his new photo album. He looked out the window and into the darkness of the night. He sighed and then removed his clothing and climbed into the bed. He grabbed the last picture of Chione and the little girl and held it above his head, staring at it like it was going to disappear at any moment. He brought it down and propped it up against the pillow next to him. He rolled over to his side and continued looking at the picture, the smile and tears never leaving his face.
"I love you both." He whispered.
And he drifted off to sleep, vowing that he's change his act for his child and for Chione. One thought bothered him though.
He didn't even know his child's name.
Oh my god please forgive me (father hear my prayer)
'Cause I know I've done some wrong in this life
If I could do it all again
Have just one more chance
To take all those wrongs and make them right
Song Credit:
"Losing My Way" - Justin Timberlake
Author's Notes:
a christmas gift for you!!!
"Next is the case of Justin Timberlake vs. Chione Sanders and Trace Ayala."
The bailiff said his peace and waited as Trace and Chione were escorted into the court room. The two officers walked them up to the bench and released them into the judges care.
"Mr. Ayala and Ms. Sanders, how do you plead on the charges of breaking and entering and assault and battery?" The judge asked.
"Guilty." Chione stated, putting her head down.
"Guilty." Trace answered.
"Very well. Since Mr. Timberlake didn't recieve any bad wounds, I'll set your bail at five thosand dollars each. I'll see you two again in about a month for the sentencing."
And with that, the bailiff began to spout off another case and the officers uncuffed Trace and Chione. The two walked slowly over to Lynn and Paul, where Lynn through her arms around them and tried to comfort them. Paul went to hand Dionne over to his mother but Chione refused him, she was in the same dirty clothes all weekend. She didn't want the dirt and the grime from the other filthy people she had to endure to rub off on her still pure son. The five of them walked out of the court room and went straight down to the secretary to pay their bail. Once the ten thousand dollars had been forked over, they made their way out to the car and made their way back to the Harless estate.
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
"I hope you don't mind Trace, I went over to your place and brought you some clothes over here. I didn't want you to be alone after all of this. I did the same for you Chione, sweetheart." Lynn said, as they stepped into the home.
"I don't mind. Thank you momma Lynn." Trace said, grabbing the bag from the steps, "I'm gonna shower and then crash for a while. I just... I need to get clean." He whispered, not looking at any of them.
"Okay honey, I'll let you know when I have dinner finished okay?" Lynn said.
He nodded and smiled weakly at her, then jogged up the stairs, "You don't mind if I do the same do you?" Chione asked.
"Of course not. Take your time baby." Paul said.
"I just, you've taken care of Dionne all weekend, as soon as I'm out of the shower I'll come down and get her."
"Don't worry about that, just go and shower and then get some rest. You need it." Lynn said, holding her hand to Chione's cheek.
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
Chione kissed her daughter on the cheek, who was swatting at Paul's chest and then grabbed her bag from the stairs. She walked slowly up the stairs and past Trace's room, where she heard the shower running softly through the wall. She continued her journey down the hallway until she found the room that she had been occupying for the past week. She walked in and closed the door behind her, dropping her full bag next to her feet and fall back against the door. She let out a breath and then lifted herself from the wall and walked into the bathroom that was adjacent to the bed.
She started the hot water and took out the bun in her hair, letting it fall against her back. She removed her clothing and closed her eyes when the terrible smell hit her nostrils. Smoke, alcohol and vomit was a deadly mixture. She threw the soiled clothes into the waste basket that was against the wall. She never wanted to wear those clothes again; they would never be cleaned of the memories of sitting in jail.
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
She stepped into the stream of water and closed her eyes as she immersed her head under the hot water. She ran her hands over her head and then stepped back out of the stream, opening her eyes once again. It felt nice to have all the gunk wash away from her body and down the drain, if only she could do the same with the memories. Justin's words had haunted her all weekend; she had never heard such nasty things being directed at another human being before. This was proof that he couldn't be helped and that Trace was right. There wasn't an ounce of the old Justin in there at all, he had died and gone to hell.
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
The things that he had said about her didn't really matter but they still stung. Bitch, skank and nigger she could live with but all the same, it hurt. The things he had said about Dionne, now that was a different story entirely. They had been blessed with such a beautiful child, some couples endure hell trying to conceive. But she and Justin had been hand picked by God to bring another life onto the earth and to say that he wished that Dionne hadn't ever been born killed her. Justin didn't even know their daughter but yet, he was so sure that Dionne was the work of the devil, out to destroy his precious career.
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
The anger began to build in her again. Justin himself ruined his damn career, the damn drugs just sealed the deal. They never loved him like she did. They loved him while he was young and hot, they loved him because he was the new trend. But soon, as the Justin everyone knew began to disappear, he was replaced by some new product and they all left him, like she knew they would. But not her, she stayed as long as could and tried to get him to kick his habit but he was too far gone by that time. She still loved him though and she knew that that fact would never change. There was nothing that he could do to get her to stop loving him and no matter what she tried to do, she knew there was no escaping him.
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Chione lathered her tired and weary body with soap and massaged the strawberry smelling shampoo into her scalp. She rinsed herself of the soaps and then shut off the water, and stepped out into the cool air. She grabbed the towel off of the rack and wrapped herself up in it, and then grabbed the hand towel and began to run it through her long, thick hair. She walked back into the bedroom and turned on the TV to some miscellaneous channel and continued to dry herself. She opened the bag that Lynn had lovingly packed and smiled to herself. Lynn had remembered to pack her lotion, body spray and all of the other toiletries that were apart of Chione's nightly routine.
Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
Wrapping her hair up in the hand towel, she removed the body towel once she was dried off and began to apply her lotion, making sure that every inch of her delicate skin was coated. She pulled on her boyshort underwear and lacey bra and then pulled one of her old t-shirts over her head. She pulled on her soffe shorts and then sprayed the body spray into the air, walking into the mist. Deciding to let her hair air dry, she pulled it back into a loose bun and then collapsed onto the bed, sleepiness taking over her body. She heard a soft knock on her door, and told the person to enter. Trace walked in and offered her a smile, "Can I come in?"
"Of course you can."
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
He shut the door behind him and walked over the bed, plopping down next to her, "I'm tired." He said.
"Me too, that shower did wonders for me though."
"Yeah, i've never felt so clean before. What are ya watchin'?" His southern twang tickled her ears.
"An old episode of Nip/Tuck. I used to love this show but I missed so many episodes cuz I've been so caught up in Dionne."
"I think I have all the seasons on DVD, or one of the girls I used to mess with had it left it over at my house. I dunno, but I'll give 'em to you cuz I don't want 'em."
Chione laughed at him, "You can't even remember the girl's name?"
"Come on girl, that's like asking someone how many times they've been to the bathroom in their life. Rule number one of being a pimp, never get names, just sex."
Chione burst into laughter again, "Oh, puh-lease. You are crazy as hell you know that?"
"Yeah." He chuckled.
"But you know what Trace?"
"What's that girl?"
"I think you are the best friend i've ever had. I love you."
Trace was silent but a sly smile came across his face, "I knew it."
"Shut up! I'm trying to tell you that you have been like the one stable thing in my life since Justin and I broke up and here you are making jokes." She laughed.
"I know, I know. In all seriousness though, I love you too."
She looked over at him in his black hoodie and sweat pants and smiled. He swatted at her hand playfully and chuckled again before he turned his attention back to the TV screen. Within minutes, the two were asleep and Lynn smiled down on the two of them. She backed out of the room and made her way back down to the kitchen.
Hurry I'm fallin'
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'
"They are both knocked out."
Paul smiled and turned on the baby monitor, "So is Dionne. They've had a rough couple of days, they all need the rest."
"How about we take a walk before we eat dinner? I just need to clear my head for a while and that will give them a chance to catch up on their sleep."
"Now that sounds like a plan baby."
Paul held out his hand and waited for his love to take it. They walked out the front door and started down the driveway as the cool breeze whipped over them.
Hurry I'm fallin'
Song Credit:
"Savin' Me" - Nickelback
eleven by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
Sorry it took me so long to update, but never fear, the next chapter is here! Let me know what you think.
Chione shifted lightly in her sleep and opened her eyes slowly. She stretched out her limbs and looked over at Trace who was still fast asleep. She glanced over at the clock, it read 11:15am. She had never slept so good in her life. She heard soft music coming from downstairs, and soft laugher coming through the walls. She carefully got out of the bed, not wanting to wake Trace and walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Once she had accomplished her mission, she walked downstairs and first saw Lynn at the stove, humming softly to Benny and the Jets. A smile came to Chione's face as she continued down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Good morning momma Lynn."
"Oh good morning baby. How did you sleep last night?"
"Oh pretty good. Where's Dionne?"
"Paul took her out to run errands with him for a while, is that okay?"
"Oh yeah that's fine, it's just really quiet in here. She's usually screaming around this time of morning."
"Am I invisible now?"
The deep male voice startled her but she recognized it immediately. She turned around from Lynn and smiled wide at JC, "Oh my goodness. I didn't even see you there."
"Yeah, I noticed." He chuckled, "Well get over here and give me a hug."
She lumbered over to him and slammed her body into his forcefully, making him stumble back a few steps. She snuggled into his chest and breathed in his cologne and smiled as he laughed lightly. She felt his lips on the side of her face and she leaned to look into his chocolate eyes, "How did your work stuff go?"
"It went pretty good. They’re thinking I might be able to release the album about two months earlier than we originally thought. I heard you had an interesting weekend."
She hit him in the chest playfully but let him keep his hands on her chest, "Yeah, your sweet little innocent Chione has been to jail."
He ran his hands over her face and hair, moving it out of her eyes, "But you're okay right?"
"I'm fine. I would have died if Trace hadn't of been with me though. There were some pretty sketchy people that came in there."
"Oh god, I can only imagine. Lynn called me last night after you two got home and told me everything. I was so pissed that that asshole would throw you two in jail for trying to help his pathetic ass. I was gonna come back and kick his ass but you already did that for me."
Chione laughed, "Well, he got what he deserved. You know, I don't even care about what happened, I really got to see who he is now and I'm not in love with that guy. It really made me see the whole picture so now, I just gotta move on. Plus, everyone gets thrown in jail every now and again."
The two laughed, "Was Trace awake when you got up?" Lynn asked, placing the food she had just prepared on some plates.
"No, he was still knocked out. You want me to go see if he's up now?"
"There's no need, the pimp has awaken."
They all turned to Trace as he made his entrance into the kitchen, and kissed Lynn on the cheek, "You are so full of yourself." Chione said.
"You're just jealous. JC, what up man?"
The two men embraced and then did a complicated hand shake, "I'm doin' alright man, how have you been?"
"Ah you know, trying to keep all the women off of me."
"Oh my god." Chione said to herself, putting her head down and laughing a little more.
"Okay ya'll, let's eat."
Chione, JC and Trace all set at the table as Lynn placed the plates of food in front of them. The four of them talked, and laughed over their breakfast and then just laid around the house for the rest of the afternoon. The sun had set about thirty minutes before and JC and Dionne and were playing together on the floor, Trace was sitting on the couch, talking to one of his random females on the phone. Chione and Lynn were in the kitchen, preparing dinner for everyone together and Paul sat at the kitchen table, typing away at his laptop. The noise from the TV and the radio and the voices filled the house with warmth. They all truly looked like a family but one of the key members was missing and they all knew it.
The doorbell and everybody looked towards the foyer, "Who the fuck is that?" Trace asked.
"Trace Ayala! Watch your mouth around the baby!" Lynn scolded.
"Sorry," he mumbled, "Who the hell is that, I meant."
Chione laughed at his antics and picked up the hand towel off of the island to wipe her hands, "I'll get it."
The doorbell rang again and Chione jogged over to the door, letting the unknown person that she was on her way. She swung open the door and gasped at the person standing on the other side, "Justin?"
He smiled weakly and removed his sun glasses, "Hey."
Chione stood flabbergasted in the doorway, she couldn't come up with one thing to say, "Who is it?" Trace asked, rounding the corner and stopping dead in his tracks when his eyes locked with Justin's blue ones.
"Trace, I-" Justin started.
"Get the fuck out of here."
"Wait a minute, just let me talk to you guys for a second."
"Get. the. fuck. out, before I call the police." Trace said raising his voice.
By this time, Lynn, Paul and JC had heard the raised voice and had all walked into the foyer, and they all gasped when they saw Justin standing in the doorway. Justin looked at all of the helplessly, begging them to let him in but when his eyes met JC's, anger soon filled them, "What are you doing here?"
"What?" JC asked.
"You fucking heard me, I told you stay away from her."
"You've lost it man."
"I haven't lost shit," He closed his eyes and shook his head to try and calm himself. He turned back to Chione and Trace, "I didn't come here to cause any trouble, I just want to talk to you and Trace, just for a few minutes, please?"
"Fuck that. I'm calling the cops." Trace said, removing his cell from his pocket.
"I just want to see my daughter! Please Chione." He reached out to her but she backed away from him.
"You want to see your daughter now? After all of this time and after you threw me in jail a few days ago?"
"Momma came and showed me pictures of her and it opened my eyes Chione, it really did. I just want to hold her."
She stared at him for a few seconds and then shook her head, "No."
Justin's mouth gaped open, "Please Chione."
"I said no."
Her new found boldness had surprised him, she had never denied him anything before, "Chio-"
"No! That's all I wanted you to do when I came over to your house a few days ago, just to acknowledge him. But you are a few days to late Justin, no, I will not let you see my daughter. Now get out of here before the police show up."
Justin shifted his weight and tried to reason with her, "You'll let JC play daddy but you won't let me hold my own daughter? I don't even know her name!"
"That's your fault!" She screamed back, "That's your fault you don't know her name, not JC's."
"You don't know him Chione. He's done this before, he'll pretend to be your friend and he'll pretend to love you and then he'll break your heart, I've seen him do it." Justin said, pointing at JC.
"Shut up Justin! You don't know anything about me!" JC stated angrily, stepping toward him.
"Don't think I haven't forgotten about what you did to her, JC." Justin said.
"Shut up!" JC screamed, still coming towards him.
"Don't put your hands on my daughter again, you piece of shit." Justin said, side stepping Chione and meeting JC face to face.
Trace stepped in between the two men and pushed Justin back, "Just get the fuck out of here man, okay? Just leave."
Jusitn stared at JC for a few seconds more and then turned back and walked out of the house, "Just think about it Chione, okay? Please, I won't let you down again, I promise. Trace-"
"Don't, just leave." Trace said, holding up his hand.
Chione and Justin continued to stare at each other, "I'm sorry." He whispered before turning back around and walking to his car.
Chione watched him descend down the steps and get into his car and then drive away. She closed the door slowly and leaned against it. Trace walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder, "Are you okay?"
She shook her head yes and then looked over at Lynn and Paul, who still looked like they were in shock. Everyone stood in an awkward silence in the foyer, thinking over what had just happened. They then heard Dionne begin to scream from his playpen in the living room and Chione ran into the room to comfort her daughter. She hummed to her softly, rocking her in her arms, calming her almost instantly. JC came and sat next to her and sighed loudly, "What was he talking about JC?"
"I don't know baby."
She continued to watch him as he ran his hands through his newly cut hair, "Are you sure?" She asked.
He looked at her, "I'm positive. He's lost his fucking mind."
She nodded softly and then looked down at her son, "I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Don't do that, let's talk about what just happened." JC said.
"I don't really want to."
"Chione, don't shut off from us. You and Trace must have crazy thoughts going through your heads right now." JC reasoned.
She shook her head no, "I don't really, I just need to think about what's best for Dionne."
"You are not considering letting him see Dionne, are you?" JC asked.
Chione looked over and glared at him, "That's really none of your business JC. I'm her parent, not you."
JC sighed loudly again and ran his hand over his face, "You're right, do what you want. I'm gonna hit the road. I'll uh, I'll see you guys later."
And with that, JC walked out of the living room and out of the house. Trace laughed sarcastically from his place in the kitchen, "Goddamn, we've got some fucked up friends."
"Should we see him Trace? Should we let him apologize to us?" Chione asked.
"I don't want to fuckin' see him."
"Trace! I know you're upset but watch your mouth!" She swatted at him.
"I don't want to see him Chione. It's going to be nothing but trouble, I can feel it."
"Lynn? Paul?"
Paul shrugged his shoulders, "That's the first time I've seen my son in what feels like a year." Lynn hugged him and ran her hand over his back, "I don't know what to do about him anymore. Chione, this is totally up to you. He's hurt us all more than he could ever know."
And they all stood there, not knowing what to do. Chione kept her eyes on Dionne while thinking over her possible options. Then her mind fell on the police, "We better call the police and tell them not to come anymore."
"I didn't call them." Trace said.
"Who were you talking to then?"
"Nobody."
"Why?"
He was silent for a second and then looked up at her, "I could never call the police on my best friend."
twelve by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
Another update for you! Thank you for all of the kind words on the last update, I really appreciate them and I love you guys for continuing to read my stuff!
She couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned and tried but the sleep wouldn't come. She sat up in the king sized bed and sighed, looking over at her sleeping daughter. She scratched her head and looked at the images on the TV screen. Should she let Justin see their Dionne? Should she trust him enough to let him into Dionne’s life? Could she trust him enough to let him back into hers? The questions kept running through her mind as she stood out of the bed and started pacing the room. He seemed sincere, he didn't look high, he wasn't scruffy anymore. His hair was combed, his clothes were washed and clean. He didn't look like that crack addict anymore.
But just because he had cleaned up his appearance, didn't mean he had changed at all. You can't just stop using coke and be free of it for the rest of your life. He'd revert back to his old self once he got that urge to snort, "I don't know." She whispered to herself.
She grabbed the baby monitors and turned them on and then sat one back down on the night stand. With the other still in hand, she made her way out of the room and then down into the kitchen where she saw Trace chewing on a piece of pie.
"We need to stop these late night meetings." Chione said smiling.
"You need to quit stalking me and then the meetings would stop." She laughed and took a seat next to him, "What are you still doing up girl?"
"My mind is racing and it won't let me fall asleep."
"No doubt it's about this Justin thing."
"Give the man a prize, he's correct." She said.
He chuckled, "I've been thinking about that too."
"I mean, are we being selfish by not wanting to see him or are we making the right decision for our lives?"
"He looked pretty damn sincere to me but I just can't shake that bad feeling about him you know? And it's not like he's clean, who knows, he could be snorting right now for all we know."
"Yeah, but on the other hand, I think those pictures his mom showed him really hit home for him. Why else would he come here wanting to see Dionne?"
"True. But he threw us in jail." Trace said, taking another bite.
"I think he wants to apologize for that."
"This isn't going to get us anywhere. We are just gonna keep coming up with reasons to either see him or not see him." He laughed.
"I know but this is hard man. I don't know what i'm getting myself and my daughter into with Justin."
"Me neither, but my actions tonight have got me all fucked up about it."
"What do you mean Trace?"
"Like when I said I was gonna call the cops and didn't. I couldn't dial the number, I kept thinking to myself, you are about to call the cops on your best friend. I kept referring to him as my best friend even though I hate his guts."
Chione nodded, "I know what you mean. I still catch myself calling him my boyfriend sometimes when I'm talking to people."
"He looked better though, you should have seen him last week. That nasty ass beard was ruling his face and he was so... nasty looking. The old Justin was here tonight."
She smiled again, "That's what I thought too."
It grew silent between the two of them for a while, "Do you know what Justin was talking about when he said, 'don't think I haven't forgotten what you did to her'?" Chione asked.
"I haven't a clue what that was about. He's never said anything to me about anything involving you and JC."
"I remember when Justin and JC kinda fell off because they were both working really hard and they really weren't talking that much but, I don't know what the hell he was talking about. I mean, was he even talking about me when he said 'her'?"
"I'm assuming so since you were the only 'her' in the room besides his momma." He chuckled.
"Maybe JC was right, maybe the drugs have gotten to his head and he's delusional or something."
"That could very well be it girl. What are we gonna do though? Are we going to see him?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I really don't want to see him but, I deserve an apology."
She nodded her head, "So we should see him?"
"No, I'm saying I should see him, you have to make your own decision."
She sighed, "When did life get so hard?"
"Life has always been hard, this is just your first time having to deal with a difficult situation."
She looked over at him, "Who are you and what have you done with Trace?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" He laughed.
"Ahh, there you are. You had been replaced with someone.... smart for a second."
The two laughed together and Trace layed his hand on hers, "Are we gonna see him?"
She nodded, "Yeah, we're gonna see him."
"With Dionne?"
"Yeah, with Dionne."
Trace leaned back in his chair and rubbed his stomach, "You can always solve a hard problem over some good food."
"You are such a dork."
"I know it. When do you wanna set up this meeting with that jerk off?" He said winking at her.
"Be nice. Umm, I can try and call him a little later, I guess around 8 or 9am? And then set something up for the afternoon."
"Sounds good to me. Okay darling, I'm gonna get some beauty sleep."
He stood up and placed his plate in the sink and then leaned over and kissed the top of her head, "Okay, good night Trace."
"Good night girly."
A few minutes, she too returned to her room when she sat back in the bed. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of Brae Dionne lyn finally being held by his father. Her anxiety got the best of her and she grabbed the phone and dialed his number. It rang three times before his groggy voice filled her ears, "Ello?"
"Justin?" She said softly.
"Yeah, who's this? Shana? I told you, not tonight okay? I've had a long day."
"Umm, no, it's Chione."
The line got quiet as her eyes darted around the room, "Are you still there?" She asked.
"Oh, yeah, sorry, i'm just... surprised that you're calling me."
"Oh yeah, I'm sorry it's so late, I can call you back later-"
"No, no, it's okay. What's on your mind?" He asked.
"Trace and I talked and we've decided that we'd like to see you later this afternoon, if thats okay with you?"
He was quiet for a minute, "You really want to see me?"
"Yeah, we need to talk and... you need to see your kid."
He let out a breath and she could almost hear the smile on his face, "That's perfectly fine with me. How about you guys come over here around 2pm? I'll go out and get some food and stuff and we can have lunch."
She nodded and smiled, "Okay, that sounds good."
"Okay then. Thank you so much Chione. Thank you."
"You're welcome; you deserve to see your daughter Justin. I'm just glad you finally want to."
"Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
"Okay, buh-bye."
"Bye Chione."
She hung up the phone and laid back into the bed. She rolled over on her side and put her hand on Dionne’s little stomach, "We're going to see daddy baby. He finally wants to meet you."
The tiny girl shifted a little but didn't wake and Chione scooted closer to her. She closed her eyes and within minutes, she had finally drifted off to sleep.
thirteen by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
here's the next chapter, hope you guys enjoy it. thank you so much for all of the comments, i really do love getting them and i'm glad that you guys are still enjoying this story :)
"I'm nervous Trace."
"Why? It's just Justin."
"I know but... I don't know."
"Chill out woman. I'm right here, nothing's gonna happen."
Chione shook her head and looked back at her daughter, who was playing with herself in her car seat. She smiled at her a little and then turned back to look out of the windshield. She had never been so nervous in her life, especially when it came to seeing Justin. She just hoped that everything went okay and that Trace and Justin could behave themselves and at least try and be civil. She counted the minutes that flew by, bringing them closer and closer to Justin's place. It seemed like in no time, they were pulling though the gates and parking in front of his front doors.
Trace cut off the car and turned to Chione, "Are you ready for this?"
Chione tore her eyes from in front of her and looked over at him sheepishly, "Yeah."
"I wish I could believe you. Let's get Dionne."
Chione undid the seatbelt and stepped out of the car. She went opened the back door and unhooked the girl from her car seat and brought Dionne to her chest, patting her back softly and talking to her. Trace grabbed the baby bag and swung it over his shoulder and the three of them made their way up the front steps. Trace rung the doorbell and sighed loudly while they waited for Justin to let them in. Within seconds, the door flew open, revealing a nicely dressed Justin Timberlake.
"Hey." He said with a small smile.
"Hey." Chione said diverting her eyes from his.
"Um, come on in you guys."
He opened the door wider and stepped aside, letting Trace and Chione gain entrance into his home. The two walked awkwardly into his house, with the clicking of her high heels against his marble floors being the only sound. When they hit the living room, Trace sat the baby bag down and leaned up against the wall, Chione sat on the couch and bounced her daughter on her knees and Justin stood on the outskirts of the room.
"Why is this so weird? We used to be friends." Justin chuckled sadly.
"We were friends before you decided to fuck yourself up with that shit." Trace said angrily.
"Trace, listen to me. I know I haven't been the best lately but don't act all innocent here. You used to snort with me all the time."
"That's true, but I would never-"
"Let's not start off this way guys." Chione said, with a deep sigh.
Trace and Justin shifted their weight and tried to contain themselves, "You're right, I'm sorry. Are you guys hungry at all? I got some stuff out in the kitchen." Justin said.
"Um, not really but thank you." Chione said.
It grew silent between them again until Justin broke the silence, "So that's her huh?" keeping his eyes on the tiny person in Chione arms.
She smiled widely at Dionne, "Yep this is her. Do you wanna hold her Justin?"
Justin breathed in deeply, uncertainty written all over his face. He shook his head yes and then walked slowly over to the couch, sitting next to her. Chione placed the girl into Justin's arms and watched as he stared at the little girl, unsure of what to do with her. Dionne stared back her father, and placed her tiny hand on Justin's chin as if she was trying to figure out who he was. Justin smiled, his eyes started to glaze over with tears and he cradled the little girl in the nook between his arm and side of his chest.
"She looks just like me." He whispered, not breaking the eyes contact with his daughter.
"I know." Chione whispered back.
Justin rocked back and forth slowly, playing with his daughter's fingers, tears falling down his face. How could he deny such a beautiful child for so long? How could he say such harsh things about his own flesh and blood? "Hey baby. I'm your daddy."
Dionne cooed and clapped her little hands together, staring back at her father. Justin laughed again his tears and looked up at Chione, "What's her name Chione?"
"Dionne Samantha."
"That’s the name we picked out together."
Chione shook her head and sniffled quietly. Justin reached up with his free hand and wiped underneath her eyes with the pad of his thumb, like he had done so many times before. In a moment of weakness, Chione rubbed her face into his large palm while countless memories flooded her mind, "Thank you Chi." He whispered.
"You helped me make her, it wasn't all me."
"Yo, I'm kinda hungry." Trace said, breaking the moment.
"Oh, okay, it's all in the kitchen. Come on."
They all moved into the kitchen and raided the pantry. After a few minutes, delicious smells filled the kitchen as they all cooked something for lunch. Dionne began to fuss while she was playing with Trace.
"I think she needs to be changed." Trace said.
"Yeah, it has been a few hours. Do you mind if I use your bedroom for a few minutes Justin?"
"Of course not, go right ahead."
Chione scooped her daughter up in her arms and disappeared up the stairs, leaving Justin and Trace together, "Justin?"
"Yeah man?"
"Don't think I didn't notice the little kodiak moment you guys had in the living room. I'm not gonna let you hurt her again man, that's not gonna happen. So don't get any ideas."
"I'm not going to hurt you guys anymore, you just have to give me a chance to prove it to you."
"Well, I'm not going to let you take advantage of her just because she's vulnerable and still has a soft spot for your ass."
"I understand."
"Good." Trace said, looking out of the kitchen window.
"This is probably going to sound gay as hell but I've missed you man. I've missed you a lot." Justin said.
Trace looked over at his friend, "I've missed you too dude. I've missed being your friend, but I can't stand by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. I can't dude."
Justin shook his head in agreeance, "I'm gonna sober up Trace. I'm gonna kick this shit and I'm going to get back to being the old Justin so I can be with you guys again. So I can be with my daughter."
"I'm glad to hear you say that but it's your actions after this point that will show us that you really do care about us."
"When did you get so... smart man?"
"What at the hell? Everybody's been saying that to me lately, ya'll must think I'm some kinda idiot, shit."
The two men fill the kitchen with laughter and Chione could do nothing but smile at the two of them. They were finally getting back to normal and she couldn't have asked for anything more. The day had slipped by so rapidly and soon, it was going on seven o'clock. They were back in the living room, Justin on the floor playing with Dionne while Trace and Chione played cards. The TV was set on a random channel and the radio was set on the slow jams. Chione's phone started to go off in her purse, so she stood from her spot on the floor and reached for her purse on the couch.
"Hello?"
"Where are you?" The male voice asked.
"I'm over at Justin's JC, I told you that earlier."
Justin stopped playing with his daughter at the sound of his voice and looked over at her while she continued to talk to him.
"I thought we said-"
"We didn't say anything JC, Justin has the right to see his Dionne."
"Why are you being like this Chione? After everything he's done to you, you are just gonna let him waltz back into your life like nothing went down? That's insane."
"Everybody deserves a second chance! And another thing, you are not my father so don't go spouting off that shit. I don't know what your problem is, why have you been acting like this lately JC?"
"I don't have a problem, you are being stupid."
"I'm being stupid?!" She scoffed, "Until you get your attitude fixed, don't call me." She slammed her phone shut and threw it back up on the couch.
"Let me guess, he didn't want you to come and see me today?" Justin asked, sitting up Indian style and placing little Dionne into his lap.
"I don't know what's gotten into him. He's just been really weird when it comes to you Justin."
"He's got some fuckin' nerve talking to you like that. I can't fuckin' stand his ass anymore."
"What happened between you two? You guys used to be so close." Trace asked, unaware of what had went down between JC and Justin.
"He just... nothing. We just don't see eye to eye about anything anymore."
There was more to the story but knowing that Justin wasn't going to get into it, Trace changed the subject, "I'm gonna go to bathroom. Watch my cards man, Chione likes to cheat."
"I do not! You're just mad cuz I've beat you six times in a row."
Trace exited the room and Chione hummed a long with the music, "Are you and JC dating?" Justin asked.
Chione was silent for a while, "Um, no?"
"Was that a question or an answer?"
Chione sighed, "We're not like dating like you and I used to but we... we've..."
"Had sex?" Justin filled in.
"Yeah."
"I knew he would try some shit as soon as I was out of the picture." Justin mumbled to himself while messing with Dionne.
"Justin, what happened between you two? Why are you so angry with him?"
"He was just really jealous of us and what we had, that's all. I know I don't have any say in what you do with your personal life and all anymore, but if he gets stupid with you, I'm always here for you."
Chione had no idea what he was talking but shook her head, "Yeah, okay."
Trace then walked back into the living room, "Are you ready to get your ass kicked little girl?" He said rubbing his hands together.
Not wanting to ruin the night, Chione shook the thoughts of JC out of her head and grinned at her friend, "What you got for me white boy?"
A few more hours went by and little Dionne was sleeping peacefully in her fathers arms. Justin kissed her softly on her forehead and laid her back into her car seat and strapped her in. He shut the door softly and turned back to Chione.
"Thank so much for bringing her over to see me."
"You're welcome." She smiled back.
Justin embraced her tightly, pulling her into his chest. Chione closed her eyes and breathed in his cologne, relaxing against him, "When can I see her again?" Justin asked.
"Whenever you want. You're mom wants me to stay out here for a few more weeks anyway."
"Okay well, I'd like to see her again tomorrow."
"That's fine, just come and get her whenever."
"Okay. Be safe."
"You too."
He kissed her softly on the cheek and looked into her dark eyes for a few moments. He fought the urge to make her lips his again and turned to Trace, "It was good seeing you man. You know the Lakers are playing next Sunday, we should go check 'em out."
"Look man, as long as you're buying the tickets, I'm all game."
The two laughed and embraced quickly, "I'll see you two soon." Justin said one last time.
"Alright dude."
Trace and Chione climbed into the Escalade and strapped themselves in as the SUV hummed to life. She waved at Justin as they backed out of the driveway and made their back to Lynn's estate.
"How do you feel?" Trace asked.
"Good, really good. That was so great, to see him like his old self again."
"I know, let's just hope he can stay like this."
"I second that."
Trace and Chione continued the drive home with smiles on their faces. About thirty minutes later, Chione stepped out of the shower and wrapped her body up in a towel and walked back into her room. She picked her clothes up off the floor and Justin's sent wafted through the air, making a soft smile spread across her face. Slowly, her walls were beginning to crumble away and she was letting him back into her heart. But she was starting to wonder, had he really left her heart the first time?
fourteen by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
I'm on a roll with these updates, lol. I hope this creativeness never ends! here's fourteen, it's kinda boring but it helps move the story along. let me know what you think!
The following months couldn't have gone any better. Chione couldn't have asked for more as she watched her daughter grow and experience life with her father. Chione had actually broke down and cried at her daughters first birthday because Justin was right there, helping Dionne blow out her candles. It was picture perfect.
Trace and Justin's relationship was back on track and before long, it was just like old times. The new memories that were swarming around in her brain, made Chione smile as she drove toward Justin's estate. She waved to Mr. Thomas at the front of the neighborhood and drove slowly though the million dollar neighborhood. When she pulled up to Justin's house, she shut off the car and jogged up to the front door. She rang the doorbell and wrapped her jacket around her tiny body even tighter when a gust of wind whipped through the otherwise still night.
"Hey, come on in." Justin greeted her as he opened the door with a smiling Dionne in his arms.
"Hi baby girl! Did you miss mommy today?" Chione said to the little girl while stepping into the house.
"She was a doll today, she didn't fuss at all." Justin said as he handed his child over to her mother.
"You are such a big girl! Thanks so much for watching her."
"It's no problem, I'm so glad that I can spend time with my little girl. How's the new job working out?"
Chione nodded and then smiled, "It's great, I really love it."
Justin flashed her his million dollar smile as his eyes twinkled under the light, "I'm happy for you."
Chione smiled again and bit her lip as she looked him over. He was beautiful. From the top of his freshly cut hair right down to his Nike covered feet. He had gained most of his weight back but was still a tad on the skinny side. Chione closed her eyes and willed away the nasty thoughts of him as he walked into the kitchen, "I was just about to eat, do you want some dinner before you have to go home?" Justin called.
Chione walked slowly into the kitchen, readjusting Dionne on her hip, "I don't want to impose."
"No, no, please, join me."
"I don't know, I should get her home and into bed."
"Please? I won't bite you, I promise."
Chione laughed and shifted her weight, "Okay but let me put her to sleep okay?"
Justin smiled out of the corner of his mouth, "Of course, you can put her down in my bedroom."
"Thanks."
Chione climbed the stairs and walked into the room that she had once shared with Justin. She played with the fingers of her daughter as she walked into his closet and thumbed though all of the baby clothes that he had bought for Dionne. She picked out a pair of pajamas, dressed Dionne for sleep and then sat on the bed Indian style. She plucked a fresh bottle from the mini refrigerator that Justin had installed next to his bed, and rocked Dionne slowly as the little girl ate.
Once Dionne's eyes had closed for the last time, Chione laid her gently down on the bed and dimmed the lights to the room. She walked back downstairs and was hit by the smell of chicken Alfredo.
"Smells good." She said as she sat at one of the bar stools and placed her head on her palm.
"Yeah?" Justin said, not looking at her.
"Yeah, it does."
Chione's eyes were soon running up and down his body again as he cooked and old memories flooded back in her mind, "How are you're classes going?" She asked quietly.
Justin licked his finger and looked over at her, "Going good. You know, I'm only getting drug tested every two weeks now, I’ve moved up another level." He laughed quietly to himself.
Chione nodded slowly, "That's so good, I'm glad to hear that. I'm so happy that you're cleaning yourself up Justin. Dionne really needed you."
Justin gave her a warm smile and blushed a little, "Thank you for trusting me with her."
"You're her father."
"Thank you," It grew silent between the two for a couple of minutes, "You ready to eat?"
Chione nodded and laughed as he piled the food onto her plate. They talked and laughed for hours at they ate, sitting side by side. Chione giggled as she watched him load the dishwasher, popping a cherry tomato into her mouth. Justin laughed back as he closed the washer and grabbed her hand, dragging her into the living room.
"It's really late." Chione giggled as she plopped down on the couch.
"Do you wanna go?" Justin asked as he sat next to her.
Chione looked down at her hands and bit her lip, "Not really." She whispered.
She felt his two blue eyes boring into her and could practically see the smile on his face, "Look at me."
Chione felt helpless as she turned her head to face him. Justin placed his hand gently on the side of her face and instinctively, her rubbed her face into his palm, her eyes shutting immediately. He ran his long fingers down the side of her face and rubbed the pad of his thumb across her full, pouty lips.
"You are so beautiful. I've always thought you were beautiful." He whispered.
Chione opened her eyes and stared into his. She could feel that strange feeling that she had felt when they had first met and she knew that he hold he had over her was slowly seeping back into her body. She couldn't fight him if she wanted too, the feeling was just too strong.
"I've thought about you so much." She whispered.
"I've missed you so much." He whispered back.
Within the next moment, Justin's lips where on hers, kissing her slowly and softly. Chione was hesitant for a few seconds but gave into his kiss. As she allowed his tongue to break through her lips, her hands moved from her sides and into his hair.
Her eyes fluttered shut again as she felt herself melting into him once again, her body temperature rising with each passing second. All he had to do was say the word, and she'd be more naked than Dionne was when she was born. She secretly hoped he would say the word, she needed him so bad.
Seconds later, Justin pulled back from her. He licked his swollen lips and sat breathlessly on the couch next to her, "You have to work tomorrow."
Chione opened her eyes again and let out a shaky breath, "wh- what?"
"You have to work tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah but I can call in or go in later." She said quickly while diving in for another kiss.
As much as Justin wanted to continue the make out session, he pulled away from her. When the hurt and confused look that he was all too familiar with settled on her face, he was quick to explain his actions, "I don't want you to loose your new job for me Chi."
Chione sighed loudly and rubbed her face in her hands, "You're right. I just... I don't know."
"Hey," Justin said softly as he grabbed her hands, "I want this just as bad as you do but we have so many important things that need to be said before we jump in bed together. Please don't feel like I don't want this."
Chione shook her head and smiled softly at him. They both stood and Chione grabbed her purse and walking to the door, "Oh shit! I almost forgot my child." She laughed as she started to step back into the living room.
"No, no, it's okay. I'll keep her tonight and then you can pick her up when you get off tomorrow."
"Are you sure? I can take her if you have plans tomorrow."
He chuckled from deep within his chest, "I don't have any plans. Even if I did, I'd break them faster than Britney Spears lost her virginity to be with my baby."
Chione smiled at him and folded her arms across her chest, "Listen, I'm sorry about tonight. I know we just got back on track and I don't want anything to get weird between us already."
"Don't be sorry. We just have a lot to think and talk about before we make any big decisions like that."
It grew silent between the two as they stood watching each other. Justin reached his large hand up to his head and scratched it lightly; a sign of nervousness. Chione shifted her weight and a smug grin crossed her face, "What?" she asked.
Justin's eyes shot up to hers and then quickly down to the floor. He cleared his throat, a second sign, "What are you talking about?" He asked.
"I know you want something so just ask. You do have plans tomorrow, don't you?"
"No, it's not that. It's just..."
Chione waited for a minute and then smiled as he fumbled over his words, "Spit it out Jay."
He smiled that sideways smile that made him famous, "You still know me better than I know myself. Um... okay, we have this thing coming up at my classes. They're called um, forgiveness sessions and we basically uh, sit with a loved one and tell them what we've went through and then the loved on tells us what they went through. And uh, i was wondering if you would, uh..."
"You want me to go with you?" Chione asked breathlessly.
Justin shook his head quickly and looked back down at the ground. Without thinking, Chione reached out and grabbed his large hand, rubbing her thumb along his skin slowly, "Of course I'll go. But, wouldn't you want to share this with your mother?"
"She uh, she really isn't that comfortable with me yet."
"Just give her time Jay." She said, still rubbing her thumb softly along his skin, "When do these sessions start?"
"Um, next Wednesday at five thirty."
Chione smiled a little and said, "I'll be there."
fifteeen by god gave me style
"I would have slept with him last night Jenna, I'm telling you." Chione laughed as she sat behind the desk.
"Oh my god! I cannot believe I work with the girl that dated Justin Timberlake. I'm like, in awe of you." The young blonde said as a couple of people walked into the art gallery.
Chione smiled and greeted the clients as they walked past and then turned back to her new friend, "I keep telling you, he's not that guy when we are together. He's just... my ex-boyfriend and father of my child."
"I just teasing. How are his out-patient classes going?"
"Oh wonderful! He's moved up another level, he only gets drug tested every two weeks now. When he first started, they tested him everyday. Oh, I forgot to tell you, he asked me to come to his forgiveness session next week." Chione said.
The young blonde scrunched up her face a little as she sipped on her straw, " Forgiveness session? What in the hell is that?"
"It's where the patient brings in a loved one and they talk about how the drug addiction has hurt them. It's like a therapy session I guess."
"Are you gonna go?" Jenna asked.
Chione thought for a moment and then let out a breath, "Yeah. I think this will be good for us, you know, as Dionne's parents."
Jenna let out a deep, loud laugh, causing the customers to stop their browsing and turn towards them. Chione's eyes grew wide as she lowered her head a little, "What is wrong with you?" She asked the blonde in a hushed whisper.
"I'm sorry but you are in heavy denial."
"What do you mean?" Chione asked, looking quickly over at the few people in the dimly lit gallery.
"It'll be good for you and Justin as Dionne's parents? Come on girl, you almost slept with him last night, and you want me to believe you're not interested in him again? I might be blonde, but I am not dumb." Jenna said, clicking her nails against the desk.
As much as Chione didn't want to admit it, Jenna was right. The past couple of months with Justin had been wonderful, it was everything that she had wanted. They were almost like a little family. And being around Justin all that time had started to go to her head. Hundreds of times, she had caught herself staring at him or thinking of him taking her on the couch, on the floor, in the kitchen.
And for the first time since the whole ordeal had began, she was happy. She wanted the happiness to last forever. She wanted her boyfriend back. She looked back over at her friend and smiled, "You're right, I want him back."
Jenna smiled widely and hugged her friend, squealing just a tiny bit, "I'm so happy for you Chi Chi!"
"Why are you so happy for Chi Chi?" A deep masculine voice asked.
The two women turned toward the voice and Chione tensed up when her eyes laid on JC Chasez, "JC, what are you doing here?" Chione asked.
"I was just coming by to see my girl. You didn't even tell me that you were working."
Chione glanced between Jenna and JC for a second and then stood up, "Jenna, I'll be back in a couple of minutes okay?"
Jenna threw her hands up in the air, "Take your time, I can hold down the fort."
Chione smiled and then turned back to JC, "Follow me."
Chione walked through the gallery floor and pushed through the door that led to the storage/break room. When she was certain that the door had closed completely shut, she turned back to JC, "How did you find out that I was working here?"
JC shifted his weight but kept his cold blue eyes on her's, "I asked Trace. Why are you acting like this? Why are you creeping around and trying to dodge me?"
"I am not trying the dodge you. Listen JC, my daughter is number one on my list and I'm going to do everything I can for her. She needs her father and-"
"So this is what all of this is about. You've been taking Dionne to see him."
Chione scoffed loudly, "Of course I've been taking her to see Justin, he is her father!"
"Do you not remember what he did to you? Or, are you gullible enough to fall for his innocent smile?" JC said, throwing his hands in the air.
"Don't talk to me like that, you act like we're dating or something! Of course I remember what he did to me but he's making himself better and I'm willing to forgive him."
"Forgive him?! You are willing to forgive that asshole for what he put you though?"
Chione sighed loudly and drew her eyes to the ceiling, "I don't want you to come around anymore JC." She said, not looking at him.
JC stood silent for a moment, "What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean, I don't want to see you anymore. Obviously, I've been sending you signals that are being misinterpreted."
"Chione, we've slept together on many occasions and you're telling me that I'm misinterpreting your signals?"
"Fuck you! When is the last time we've slept together JC? Huh? A long ass time ago. Just, please don't make this shit any harder than it has to be, I'm not interested."
JC shook his head slowly and started to laugh sarcastically, "You're dumping me for him?"
"Oh come on! We are not together! And if we were, you'd still have no right to try and control me like this! Like it or not, Justin and I are connected through Dionne."
"But you want to be connected a different way. You want to be connected in the sense of his dick inside of you."
Before she could stop herself, Chione slapped JC harshly across the cheek. Her eyes turned dark as her chest began to heave slightly, "Don't you ever speak to me again, you got it? Not ever."
"Chione, I'm-"
"Get out."
JC sighed and reached out for her, "Chione please. I'm sorry okay? I was out of line."
"You damn sure where. Stay away from me and stay away from my daughter. Now get out."
"Just listen to me okay? I don't like you being alone with him, it's not like he's cured or anything. He could hurt you again and you are letting your guard down entirely to quickly."
"That is not for you to decide. I don't want your opinion on my life. I want you gone and I don't want to hear from you again." Chione said sternly.
"Chione come on, listen to what you are saying."
"You should of thought about that before you started trying to control me. Get the fuck out or I'm calling the police."
JC stood and watched her for a moment more and then turned and walked out of the room. Chione waited a couple minutes after the door clicked shut, trying to calm her emotions. She shook her hands out and walked around for a couple of seconds before she opened the door and walked back to the desk in the lobby.
She sat down just as Jenna was arranging a delivery for a customer. Jenna waved as the customer walked out of the gallery and then turned back to Chione, "What happened and who was that?"
"Oh god, that was JC." Chione said, slamming her hand down on a tiny pile of papers.
"He looked really upset when he walked out, what happened?"
"He's just been so controlling and just down right crazy these last couple of months. We're not dating or anything but he's just been insane every since Justin came back in my life. I just don't get why he's been acting like this. JC and Justin used to be the best of friends and now neither one of them can stand the other."
"Does this JC guy want a relationship with you?" Jenna asked, sipping on her water again.
"I think so. We've... well, you know."
"You slut!" Jenna said, swattig softly at Chione.
"I know," Chione groaned, "I wish we hadn't because now it's just awkward. Fuck, I just told him that I didn't want to see him anymore."
Jenna giggled softly and set down her water bottle, "I wish I had two popstars fighting over me."
"Will you stop! This is my life here. The man I want to be with is a cocaine addict and the man I don't want to be with is obsessed with me. And then, there is this beautiful little one year old girl that doesn't want anything but love and attention that's thrown into the mix. That's pretty fucked up." Chione said, placing her head into her hands.
"Aww honey," Jenna said, wrapping her arms around Chione, "It's going to be okay, I promise. This stuff always has it's way of working out, you just have to leave it up to fate."
"You promise?"
"I promise. Just, take things slow with Justin and make sure that all of his cards are on the table. Once you know he's really trying to change, you'll be a little more trusting and everything will happen naturally." Jenna said.
"Take things slow?" Chione asked with a scrunched up face.
"Slow."
"So that means no sex?"
"That especially mean no sex!"
Chione laughed heartily, her laughed bouncing off of the walls of the now empty art gallery, "Well, I guess if I can go this long without getting any, I can wait a little longer."
"Of course you can but it's going to be hard. You did say that Justin was dynomight in bed didn't you?"
"Oh shit! Don't remind me!" Chione giggled as she returned her head to her hands.
"What are you going to do about this JC guy?"
Chione sighed, "Hopefully he'll listen to me and just stay away. He is not the same person that he used to be and I don't know why he's changed."
Jenna sighed and tapped her fingers against the desk, "It'll all work out, don't worry to much about it. Just keep Dionne and Justin on top of your priorities list. Now, lets stop talking about your damn love life and help me enter these deliveries into the computer."
Jenna handed Chione a couple of pieces of paper and the two girls talked casually for the rest of the afternoon. Little did either of the young women know what was in store for both of them.
sixteen by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry guys, i've been working non-stop over spring break. but, i have a free afternoon, so here is the next chapter, hope you guys like it!
"Are you sure you are ready for this?" Justin asked as he and Chione headed downtown LA for their first session.
"I'm sure, I'm glad you wanted me to come." Chione said, smiling at him.
Justin smiled back and rubbed his hand over her smaller one for a minute. The rest of the drive was quiet but comfortable between the two ex-lovers. Both of their stomachs fluttering and their minds racing about what was about to happen. About thirty minutes later, Justin pulled into a spot in the parking lot and turned off the car. Chione looked over at the small building and read the white letters that were placed on the building.
'The Los Angeles Rehabilitation Center'
She looked back over at Justin and smiled a little, "You ready Jay?"
He nodded and opened his car door, stepping out onto the damp pavement. Chione threw her furry hood over her head and stepped out into the sprinkling rain. Justin grabbed her hand as the pair walked toward the building, the only sounds being heard where Chione's Uggs hitting the pavement.
When the two entered the building, Chione's eyes scanned over all of the other patients. Some were cluttered in the corner with their family members, talking and laughing quietly. Some of the others were standing in random places throughout the large room, talking with each other or with counselors. They all looked so calm and collected, just like normal people. But they all had secrets and terrible pasts, and they were all there to get help.
Justin and Chione headed through the lobby and toward the back of the building. Justin stopped a few times and introduced Chione to some of his other group members. Chione stood back and watched the celebrity come out of him. He talked and laughed with the other men and women, wrapping his arm around her little waist, just like old times.
After a couple of minutes, he checked his phone and excused them from the conversation. They continued toward the back of the building and then turned down a long hallway. With their fingers still intertwined, they walked slowly down the the hall until Justin stopped at a closed, wooden door. He knocked softly and then stood back as his counselor opened the door.
"Justin, right on time, come on in." The older woman said.
Justin walked in first, pulling Chione in behind him, "Mrs. Griffin, this is my ex-girlfriend Chione Sanders."
"How are you Ms. Sanders? I'm Lois Griffin, Justin's counselor." The older woman said, holding out her hand.
"I'm fine, please call me Chione." She said, grasping the woman's hand and shaking it lightly.
Chione smiled softly as she took in the older woman's appearance. Her salt and pepper hair was tied up in a loose bun, allowing her oval face to be shown. Her square glasses sat low on the bridge of her nose and her soft, round eyes exuded confidence and care. Chione could tell that she had once been a very beautiful woman.
"Well, come on in and sit down. I know you two are probably very nervous."
Chione and Justin sat in the two chairs that had been set up to face each other. Lois sat in the chair that was sitting head on in front of them and grabbed her clip board, "Well, let me introduce my self to you Chione. Like I said earlier, I'm Lois Griffin, I've been a counselor here at LARC for seventeen years. I was once a patient here for drug and alcohol abuse and wanted to help others when I completed my program. Do you have any questions for me Chione?"
"I don't think so." Chione said quietly, looking over at Justin for support.
He grabbed her hand again and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her skin sweetly, instantly calming her nerves, "It's okay to be nervous dear, it is for every one. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?" Lois said.
"Um, okay. I'm Chione, I'm twenty six years old. I work at an art gallery and um, I have a one year old daughter to Justin. Um, I dropped out of school a couple of years ago so I could travel with Justin."
"What were you majoring in?" Lois asked while jotting down notes.
"Communication Design."
"Interesting. Well, why don't we begin the session. If Justin didn't tell you, this is called a forgiveness session. Once you've reached the level that Justin has, you move into the next phase. Justin now has to voice his feelings and emotions to a person that he has hurt with his addiction. He then has to listen to his loved one voice their feelings and emotions. The goal of the forgiveness sessions are to get you both to forgive each other and for Justin to be able to move back into his normal lifestyle."
It grew silent between the three people for a couple of minutes, "So, how do we start?" Chione asked, looking over at Lois.
"Either one of you can say anything you want. These sessions are about communication and dialogue between addict and family."
"Oh okay, well uh... I- I don't know what to say." Chione laughed nervously, running a hand through her long hair.
"That's okay, I'll start okay?" Justin asked. When Chione nodded, Justin took a deep breath and rested his elbows on his legs, leaning in closer to Chione, "I um... when I would be getting high, I would think about you. Shit, I would think about you all day long, that's why I would go out and get high. I didn't want to think about the things that I had done to you.
One day, I was out doing something, I can't remember but I saw you with Trace in a store. You were so pregnant," He laughed, "You're belly was so big, I couldn't believe it. I just stood there outside in the cold, just watching you, wanting so bad to just walk in and take you in my arms. I wanted to be everything that you wanted me to be but I couldn't give that shit up. I was already too far gone."
"I remember that day," Chione said quietly, staring back at Justin, "I thought I saw you but when I looked back you had gone and I just brushed it off. You were really there?"
"I was, I didn't know you saw me." Justin said, looking down at the floor.
"I wasn't 100% sure, but I felt... calm when I thought I saw you. I had been hearing so many terrible stories about you and when I thought I saw you, I felt like you were okay." Chione whispered, tears coming to her eyes.
Justin smiled nervously as his own tears began to well up in his blue eyes, "At night, all I could think about was that night I beat you up. I would physically become sick every time I thought about it. I still have this image of you, all bloody and almost... unconscious. I can't... I can't get that image out of my head."
"How does that night make you feel Chione?" Lois said softly, still jotting down notes.
"I... I really don't remember that night. All I know is what Trace has told me. You almost killed our baby Justin." She said, as she let the emotion stream down her face.
Justin hung his head and the water dripped off of his nose and hit the floor, "I know," he whispered, "And I am so sorry Chione."
The two of them sat there, staring at each other like if they looked away, the other would disappear. They sniffled and wiped at their faces, trying to rid themselves of the pent up emotions but the tears kept coming. But it was time to let go. It was time to let go off all of the hurt and pain and regret. Chione reached out slowly, letting her fingers skim across his skin. She then dipped her hand into his palm and squeezed his hand tightly, "It's okay."
Justin let out a loud sob and Chione sat at the edge of her seat, reaching her other hand out to him. She ran her fingers through his hair slowly, rubbing the back of his head like she had so many times before. He squeezed her hand back tightly, crying harshly as Chione tried to calm him. She lifted his head in her hands and placed her hand on the side of his face, "It's okay Justin."
"It's not okay. I could have killed you, I could have killed you both."
"You were a different person then, that powder was running your life. The Justin that I know is sweet and kind and loving. I can tell the difference between the real Justin and the Justin on drugs. You need to be able to tell the difference as well. You're trying to change and that's all that's important. We need you, Dionne and I both."
"I need you. My god, I need you both so bad, I'd loose my mind if I lost you two again."
Justin brought their connected hands up to his mouth and laid soft kisses along her thin fingers and hand. Chione cocked her head to the side as her eyes glazed over with tears again. She was finally getting her Justin back.
"That was very good," Lois said, smiling at the two of them from her clip board, "And I mean this when I say it, that is the best first session that I've seen in a very long time. I don't think that this is going to be a problem for either of you. How about we take a ten minute break and then come back to continue."
"Sounds good." Chione whispered, still keeping her eyes on Justin.
The three of them stood quietly, Justin and Chione still holding hands. They walked out of the room and walked back down the same long hallway back to the lobby. Justin excused himself and walked into the bathroom, leaving Chione alone in the open room. The people had thinned out from the time they had first walked in. Now, there were just a couple of people scattered around the lobby, Chione guessing that they were on their breaks as well.
She leaned up against the wall and scanned the room, taking in her surroundings, "You wanna go outside for a minute?" Justin asked quietly, walking up behind her.
She shook her head and followed him back out into the parking lot. They walked to the side of the building and sank to the ground, resting their backs against the building. It was silent between them as they digested everything that had just happened between them. Justin dug in his pants pocket, his fingers reaching desperately for the square, paper box.
His nerves immediately relaxed when he pulled out the box of cigarettes. He slid the thin cigarette from it's holding place and stuck it in his mouth, returning the package to his pocket. He pulled out the red lighter, and placed his thumb on the igniter. A yellow flame erupted from the small device as he pulled the lighter up to his awaiting cigarette.
The first drag calmed him even further as he exhaled the gray smoke. He flicked the end of the cigarette with his thumb and looked over at his beautiful companion.
"When did you start smoking?" Chione asked, her own fingers itching for a cigarette.
"A couple of months ago. I don't smoke in front of the baby though. You want me to put it out?"
She shook her head, "No, it's just... I started smoking again after I had Dionne but Trace made me quit again. It really does calm you down, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," Justin chuckled.
He took one more drag and then flattened the cigarette into the still damp concrete. Chione smiled at the small gesture and turned to look at him again, "I meant what I said in there, I do need you J."
"But you think we should take it slow." Justin said, finishing for her.
"I do. I think after these sessions are over, we'll be completely free of all of our baggage. We'll have a fair chance to raise our child together."
Justin was quiet for a minute before glancing around the parking lot and surrounding environment, "I'd like that."
"Me too. Should we head back in now?"
"Yeah, she's probably waiting for us."
The two stood and wiped at their jeans and clothing, ridding them of the dirt they might have picked up. Chione grabbed Justin's hand again and they headed back into the building. They walked back down the same long hallway and turned back into the session room. Chione and Justin took their respected seats and looked at Lois, waiting for their next task.
seventeen by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
again, i'm sorry! but i'm done with school, so updates should be regular again. hope you enjoy!
Chione smiled softly at Justin as Lois's voice sounded off in the distance. She should have been listening to the woman's advice but she was in her own little world, fantasizing about her ideal life. Her eyes fluttered over Justin's face as he listened intently to Lois, not noticing her chocolate eyes drinking in his presence. How far they had come in just a few months. She could barely believe it; she almost had her life back.
Her eyes then lowered down to their intertwined hands. Justin's thumb caressed the back of her hand slowly, almost unconsciously. Her thin, long, feminine fingers fit perfectly into his large, thick, masculine hand; just as they had all that time ago when he was sober. Chione couldn't process how she went all that time without his touch, because know, she couldn't live without it.
Every waking moment was spent thinking about him. She made sure that every hair on her head was in place, that her clothing was perfect, her face immaculate before she saw him each day. The slightest graze from his arm would send her entire world into frenzy; and she didn't want that feeling to end. He was slowly but surely overtaking her very being again, and she was all too happy to welcome him.
"Chione? Babe?" Justin said, smiling a little as he tried to get her attention.
"Sorry, what?" Chione asked, shaking her head a little and turning her attention toward Lois.
"Lois wants to know if it's okay if we cancel out session next week. Her son has a basketball game."
Chione ran her ran through her hair and let out a breath, "That's totally fine."
"Great," Lois smiled, "Well, it was another great session you guys. You two are really making great progress. So, I'll see you two on the 19th."
The three people stood up and shook hands, saying their goodbyes and grabbing their coats. The hand holding between Justin and Chione commenced again as they walked out of the room and down the long hallway. The two didn't speak as they passed countless other people walking to and fro in the large building.
"What were you thinking about?" Justin asked as their bodies were met by the cool night air.
"When?"
"When we were in the room. You were definitely in your own little world back there." He chuckled.
"Oh, I was just... thinking about ... stuff."
"Stuff? What kind of stuff?"
Chione giggled softly, "Girl stuff okay? Now take me back to your place, you promised me food."
"Alright, alright, hold your horses." Justin said as he cranked the car to life.
The drive back to Justin's was quiet but comfortable during that California night. Once home, the two greeted Lynn, who had offered to watch Dionne while they were out. Lynn said her goodbye's to the sleeping child and then made her exit just as Justin and Chione sat down to eat.
"Oh shit." Chione said, looking out the kitchen window as she sat her empty plate in the sink.
"What's the matter?"
"The weather has taken a turn for the worse it seems, look it."
Justin walked up behind her as watched as the rain pounded against the side of his house, "That's weird, we didn't even hear it start. Lemme turn on the news."
He jogged from his place behind her and plopped down on the couch in the living room, turning on the TV, "Looks like you better make yourself comfortable Chi, it doesn't look like you two are leaving tonight."
Chione walked from the kitchen and sat next to him on the couch, "A hail storm? What the hell man?" She giggled, crossing her legs underneath her, "Well, is it okay if we stay Mr. Timberlake?"
Justin crossed his arms across his chest and rubbed his chin with his fingers, "I don't know, I mean, I have a busy night planned and all..."
"Fine," Chione said, throwing her head back and trying not to laugh, "I'll take my daughter and roam around the cold, dark, wet streets until I find a place to go."
Justin's laugh soon filled the living room and Chione collapsed into his lap, laughing just as hard as he was. Justin's hand instinctively intertwined itself with her dark strands of hair as their laughs wore off. With the pad of his thumb, he rubbed her forehead softly as they locked their gazed to one another's. That overwhelming feeling to kiss her was creeping up his spine and was beginning to make his lips itch.
Chione sat up and swept her hair over her shoulder. She swallowed the lump in her throat, but never broke their eye contact. Justin's eyes wavered slightly as he unconsciously parted his mouth as his pink tongue ran slowly over the delicate skin on his thin lips. Her hands were beginning to itch; they just wanted to touch him.
"Justin, we-"
Her sentence was cut off by his lips crashing against hers in pure ecstasy. Chione moaned slightly as her hands dug into his hair, massaging his head softly. The familiar taste of him exploded in her mouth as his strong hands hoisted her from the couch and onto his lap again. The couple continued to kiss furiously as Justin's hands ripped at the sheer material covering her torso. He just wanted to feel her skin.
Chione pulled back quickly, removing the shirt from her body with ease and throwing it to the floor before helping him with his own. She ran her hands down his chest and stomach, her fingers trailing down the newly formed, hard muscles that he had been working on. Lois said that working out would help keep his mind clear. Thank god for that suggestion.
A few minutes later, two pair of jeans, two shirts, and a wife beater littered the beige carpet in the living room. The two sat on the couch, hugging their bodies together, kissing and licking each other’s necks and shoulders as they relished in their memories.
"Wait." Chione said, leaning back and staring into his blue eyes.
"What?" Justin asked softly.
"Take me upstairs, into your bedroom."
Justin nodded and took her small hand in his as she stood up. He followed her slowly as they took the stairs and walked quietly by their daughter's bedroom. Chione pushed open the door to his room and walked swiftly to the end of his bed, never dropping his hand. The moonlight from the large windows in his room broke through the light, sheer curtains and sprayed across his king sized bed.
"Take me here, just like you used to." She whispered into the dim light, silent room.
Without a second glance, Justin took her lips as his own again, wrapping his arms around her and pushing them back against the mattress of the bed. He rested his body between her legs and continued to attack her neck, strategically unclasping her bra and pulling it off of her body. Chione's hands were hard at work as well, running down the length of his back and dipping them underneath the material of his boxers to pull the down. She got them as far as his thigh and used her feet to push them the rest of the way down his body and to the floor.
She could feel Justin's excitement against her rapidly wetting underwear and discarded them quickly, not wanting to wait any longer. Justin leaned up on his hands, wrapping her legs around his waist, "Tighter." He whispered.
Chione did as he instructed and tightened her legs around his waist as she rested her hands on his sides. Justin took himself in his hand and ran the tip of his hardened member and ran it slowly over her wet lips, emitting a moan to fall from her mouth.
"You like that?" He whispered, falling back into their old routine.
"You know I do."
He pushed into her slowly, spreading her lips slowly as he inched himself in. Chione gasped at the sudden intrusion, feeling the familiar tingle rush through her veins as her body sucked him in. Justin continued to slide into her, inch by inch until he was fully engulfed by her warmth.
He slid out of her slowly but plunged back into her depths, causing Chione to tighten her legs around him again. Chione's eyes fluttered shut and she bit her lip as he moved inside of her. The lovers continued to make love, whispering hushed words and crashing their lips together as the moonlight splashed over their skin, highlighting their bodies.
Justin rested his slightly sweaty forehead on Chione’s and kissed her softly on the bridge of her nose. Her smile was lazy but the burning and lust for him in his eyes told him that she had wanted this just as bad as he had. Chione ran her hands down his damp, broad back again, scraping her fingernails into his skin as he continued to slam into her.
And then it happened. The feeling in the core of her center began to build as he hit her spot once, twice, three times. Small bursts of pleasure ripped through her body as her orgasm began to build. She raised her hips into his to deepen his thrusts and squeezed her legs around him to tighten her body around his swollen, thick dick.
“Are you close baby?” He whispered, his hot breath tickling the skin on the side of her face.
“Oh god yes.” She breathed, clasping a hand around the nape of his neck, “Don’t stop.”
He quickened his pace to please her, wanting nothing more than to milk her body of its juices. A few more thrusts and she exploded, releasing her body of the months of pent up frustrations. Justin continued to pump into her through her orgasm, soon, loosing himself in her soft, soaking center, coating her walls with his seed.
Nothing was heard in the quiet room except for their harsh breathing as they came down from their highs together. Justin rolled them over with ease, so Chione was now on top of him, resting her head on his heaving chest. She wrapped her arms around his body as best she could and nuzzled her head into his chest like she had countless times before. This was life. It wasn’t an imitation, it wasn’t a fantasy, this was life, and that’s how she wanted it to be forever and always. She felt his fingers playing with random strands of her hair as her eyes grew heavy and sleep washed over her.
And for the first time in ages, she fell asleep to the rhythm of Justin’s heartbeat.
eighteen by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
i keep apologizing because I suck, I know, lol. but here is the next part, hope you enjoy.
"Why won't you just come and talk to me?"
"Because I don't want to! I've told you a million times, I don't want to talk to you anymore, you got it? Not ever!" Chione's hushed voice said as she paced to and fro in a guest bedroom of Justin's.
"I just don't get why you are acting like this! You minute you love me, the next you don't want to talk to me!" JC screamed over the phone.
Chione sighed loudly, glancing back at the closed door to make sure the she hadn't woken Justin, "You are looking entirely too much into this relationship. Okay, we fucked a few times but I've told you, I'm not interested in a relationship with you! I just... needed a friend."
"If I find out that you've been fuckin' around with Justin I'm gonna-"
"Wait a minute!" Chione said loudly, letting her hushed tone be thrown to the wind, "Don't tell me what you are gonna do, you don't own me! I can do whatever the fuck I want. Stay the hell away from me, you got it!" She said, slamming her phone shut.
She sighed again, running her fingers through her long hair. Deciding to return to bed with Justin, she turned around only to find him standing behind her, "Was that JC?" Justin asked, crossing his arms.
"Yes, but I got it handled."
"Why is he still bothering you?"
"I don't know, I guess he got his signals crossed and thinks that we have something going on. But... let's not talk about it, okay?" She said, walking over to him and placing her arms around his waist.
She felt him relax almost immediately and smiled as he returned her embrace, "Last night was amazing." She whispered, looking up into his baby blues.
"It was, wasn't it?" He smiled back, kissing her on the nose, "But, I think we need to talk about some things."
"What kind of things?"
He chuckled from deep in his chest, "Just things. Now lets eat before Dionne wakes up."
The rest of their day was a quiet one. A few hours later, Justin, Chione and Dionne found themselves at Lynn and Paul's house. It was just like old times. Trace and Justin in the living room watching cartoons, Chione and Lynn in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and spreading gossip and Paul, outside grilling the steak for dinner.
"That was so good girls, nice job." Trace said, finally pushing his plate away and rubbing his belly.
"Don't give us all of the credit, Paul's steak is what made the whole dinner." Lynn said, rubbing her husband on the back.
"Hey mama, you think you could watch Dionne while Chione and I go for a walk?" Justin asked, switching Dionne from his left leg to his right.
"I'll take her with me, I have to go pick up my sister from the airport." Trace said, holding out his hands to the little girl.
"Thanks man. You ready Chione?"
Chione nodded and stood up from the table, adjusting her clothes as she walked over to Justin. The two intertwined their hands, said goodbye to the others and made their way out of the back door and down towards the lake. They walked in silence as the sun began to fall from the sky, Justin's thumb running slow circles over the top of her hand.
"Last night was beautiful." Justin said softly, breaking their silence.
"I know it was, baby, I was there." She giggled.
"I know but, you don't know how much it means to me. I was so lost, so... just absent from reality," he said as the emotion began to creep up in his throat, "I just want you to know that even though I was so nasty and down right mean to you, I've never stopped loving you. You have single handedly brought me back and I thank you for being so patient with me."
Chione stopped and turned toward him, emotion wetting her eyes as he spoke. When she saw the solid tear roll down his face, she cupped his cheek in her hand and wiped it away, wishing that she could rid him of all of his pain and hurt, "Everyone deserves a second chance Jay, you have to remember that."
"I know but I just don't want you to get hurt anymore. I mean, I'm trying my best to stay away from that shit but it's Chione. And I want you to promise me that you'll get yourself and Dionne away from me if I start using again."
"You won't start using again Justin, you are doing so good." Chione said, gripping his hand with hers.
"We can't see the future Chi. I'd like to say that I'm 100% cured and free of this but I'm not. I don't know what's going to happen but until I'm over this, I don't want you getting your hopes up in me." He said, more tears sleeping from his eyes.
"I completely trust you Justin."
"No, you see? This is what I don't want," Justin said, dropping his hand from hers and throwing his head back, "I love you so much that if I have to walk away for you to be happy and safe, I would do that. I love you more than I love the idea of us being together and I don't want to hurt you any more. I don't want you to trust me, not yet anyway. Tell me you understand what I'm saying."
Chione looked down at her feet and then back up at him, "I understand but I want you to understand something. I'll always be here for you Jay, I won't let you mess up again. I love you."
"And I love you but I think we should take things slow and build up to a full blown relationship. That's the responsible thing to do for all of us."
Chione grabbed his hands again with her small ones and sniffled, looking up at him again, "Does that mean we can't spend the night together anymore?" She said, biting her lip and pushing up against him.
Justin smiled widely, looking off into the distance and then back at her, "Well, only in emergency situations."
"Does breaking my nail qualify as an emergency?"
"It does in my book baby."
Chione stood on her tip toes to capture his lips with hers. His kiss shook her straight down to her core but she knew he was right. They had a child now and they had to put her above everything else; even above their own relationship. The couple continued to hold hands as they walked aimlessly around the large pool of water, talking quietly and watching the sun go down.
After the sun had set and wind began to chill, Justin and Chione made their way back to the house, where Trace was walking back into the house with a sleeping Dionne.
"Where is your sister?" Chione asked, rubbing Dionne's back as she lay in Trace's arms.
"She was pretty tired so I dropped her off at my place."
Just as Trace was throwing his keys on the kitchen table, the doorbell rang through the large house. Chione jogged to the door , threw it open and sighed loudly at the man that stood before her, "What are you doing here?" She asked him.
"I just wanted to come and see you."
"JC, this is starting to get crazy, you know that right? I told you already that I don't-"
"Who is it babe?" Justin's voice rang from behind her as he peeked around the corner.
Chione tried to shut the door before he could see the night visitor but it was too late. She could feel his tense body as he brushed past her and stood in front of her, "What do you keep messing with her for JC?" he asked lowly.
"Back off man, I just want to talk to her for a minute." JC said, never taking his eyes off of Justin.
"She doesn't want to talk to you so I think you should turn around, get back in your car and drive home." Justin said, crossing his arms over his chest like a lion would defend his family.
"Chione, please, okay? You cannot just fall right back into his game again, he'll only hurt you." JC said, glancing at her around Justin's shoulder.
JC tried to sidestep Justin but Justin was quick to counter his move. JC tried again, but again, he was blocked from the small woman behind Justin, "You are a piece of work Justin, you know that? After everything you've done to her?"
"You don't know shit about me and her. I told you to fucking stay away from her asshole."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I sure did stay away from her when I was fucking her every night while you were out shooting up." JC laughed sarcastically.
His laugh was cut short however when Justin pushed JC violently off of the porch of the house. JC stumbled down the brick steps but didn't loose his balance completely. Justin followed quickly behind him, his anger blinding him of Trace, Paul, Lynn and Chione who screamed at him from behind.
Within minutes it was a full blown brawl in the middle of the driveway. The two men pushed and punched at each other violently, screaming profanities at one another as Trace and Paul tried to keep them apart.
"You don't deserve her and you know it, you punk ass bitch!" JC screamed as tried as hard as he could to get out of Paul's grasp.
"I don't deserve her? I don't deserve her? Okay big man, why don't you tell everyone here what you had done to her. Why don't we talk about that shit."
The words that fell from Justin's mouth enraged JC even more, causing him to break free of Paul to rush at Justin, "You shut the fuck up, you hear me? Shut up!"
"Fuck you! You act all high and mighty like you've never done anything wrong!" Justin screamed, pushing Trace away from him and turning his attention to the stunned Chione, "You remember like a year or two ago when I was in New York and you were still in school? You remember that baby?"
"I... I think so." She said, desperately searching his eyes for answers.
"That night when you were walking back to your car from the store, when you were mugged?" Chione shook her head to urge him to keep talking, "That prick, right there, fucking set you up. He hired those guys to mug you."
"Fuck you! Fuck you, you fucking coke fiend! Don't listen to him Chione, don't!" JC howled, trying desperately to get to Justin.
Justin walked up to Chione, taking her face in his hands, "I wouldn't lie to you baby. He hired them to mug you, he hired them baby."
Chione shook her head as her eyes began to glass over with tears, "I don't understand Justin, why would he do that?"
"Because he knew I was out of town! He was always fucking jealous of us Chione. He never thought that we should be together and that you should be with him. He thought that if something happened to you while I was gone, you would go to him for comfort and he could steal you away from me."
Chione had all but curled into a fetal position at that point. She had crossed her arms over her chest as the words crashed against her ear drums. Justin's mouth had continued to move but she was no longer listening. As he stood in front of her, she stared right through him to JC, who was still trying his best to fight off Paul and Trace.
Justin watched as she suddenly sidestepped him, walking straight over to JC. He tried to pull her back but she pulled her arm free from him and continued to walk over to him. JC was visibly upset; the anger was now making his body shake harshly, his hands balled into fists.
"Did you do that to me?"
"Chione, just listen-"
"Answer me! Did you fucking hire those guys to mug me so you could get into my pants?"
"It wasn't like that! I swear to you!"
The slap that Chione landed on JC's cheek filled the night air like a gunshot. JC grabbed his cheek as he felt his blood rushing toward the now stinging spot. He looked back over at the woman who had held his attention since the first moment he met her. He had loved her from afar for years but he knew that he had lost her. He lost her the minute he placed the envelope full of cash in those guys hands.
"I'm sorry, " he whispered, trying to reach out to her, "I just wanted a little of your attention. Justin was never right for you baby."
"You stay away from me and my daughter, you got it? I don't ever want to see your fucking face again or I'm calling the police. No more phone calls, no more visits, no more anything."
And with that said, she turned around and walked back into the house.
nineteen by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry, it's been like a month but here it is. hope you like :)
Chione paced back and forth in the spare bedroom that she frequented while staying with Lynn and Paul. Her hands balled into fists as she tried to comprehend the events that had just occurred not five minutes before. She would glance at her sleepy daughter on the bed from time to time and only become angrier at the situation.
Why did she always have to be the victim? What had she ever done to anyone to deserve this kind of treatment? She never imagined love to be this complicated. The movies never depicted the ugly side and she was damn tired of having to continue to face it.
A soft knock came at the door and Justin's voice invaded her hearing, "Can I come in?"
He took Chione's silence as a yes and walked into the room. He sat down on the side of the bed, knowing that she needed her space at that moment, "What are you thinking?"
"What in the fuck do you think I'm thinking? Everything in my life is turning out to be one, big ass lie and I am sick of it! I'm sick of you, I'm sick of JC, I'm sick of all of it!"
Justin stood to his feet as she stood near the window, glaring at him like he was about to become supper, "Why are you sick of me? I haven't done anything."
"When did you find out that he hired those assholes?"
Justin swallowed hard as the realization began to sink in, "I over heard him on the phone a few days after I flew back to be with you."
"And you didn't tell me? Why?" She asked, tapping her foot on the floor as she crossed her arms over her chest."
"Let's not go into it-"
"I am sick and tired of being treated like a child!" Chione screamed, slamming her foot onto the floor, "I'm sick of you trying to shield me from the world Justin, it's my life! I had a right to know! I had a right to know what that prick had done to me and you just hid it from me like it never happened."
"I know baby, I'm sorry."
"Don't. I don't want to hear your fucking apologies because they don't mean shit. It's just one thing after a fucking another with you, isn't it? I mean fuck, I let that prick hold my daughter. I had sex with him, thinking that I finally had someone on my side after you had left."
It was silent between the two of them after that for a few minutes. Chione stood, looking out the window as Justin watched her from the side of the bed, "You should have told me Justin."
Justin breathed deeply as his gaze on her fell to the floor. Chione continued to stare out the window as she thought about her options. She could continue to be Justin's victim, just allow him to run all over her and ruin what little self confidence and happiness she had. Or she could stand up for herself and for Dionne, and refuse to let people hurt her.
She chose the latter.
She walked over to the bed and picked up her child, who had been jolted awake at the sound of Chione's angry voice. Chione grasped the tiny girl to her chest, trying to soothe her back to sleep as she walked past Justin.
"Trace?" She called as she walked down the stairs, her eyes searching around for her short friend.
"What are you doing?" Justin continued to ask as he followed behind her, the desperation beginning to seep into his body.
"Trace, I need you to take me home please." Chione said as she found him in the kitchen.
Trace didn't dare ask what the problem was; he was sick of being in the middle just as much as Chione was. He nodded his head and grabbed his keys, not saying a word as he walked out into the foyer.
"Chione, what are doing?" Justin asked, tears springing to his eyes.
"You're right, I can't trust you. I need to be strong for my little girl and I refuse to have her grow up and entangle herself with a man like you. I don't want to be with you, I just want you to be her father."
"What are you saying?" he whispered.
As much as she wanted to go back to the previous day, when they were making love in the moonlight, she couldn't. The final straw had been broken and there was nothing that could repair it, "You can pick her up on Fridays and I want her back with me before 6pm on Mondays, got it?"
She didn't wait for his answer. As soon as she finished speaking, she turned on her heel and walked to Trace who was waiting in the car. She fought through her tears as Justin stood behind her, begging her to reconsider. She brushed past him and plopped down in the passengers seat as she slammed the door.
She couldn't look at him as he pulled at the now locked door as Trace began to pull out of the driveway. Her pain ran down her face and fell onto her jeans as Trace whisked her away from the very source of all of her despair.
"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"
"No, go home to your sister. I'll call you tomorrow." Chione said, sniffing a little and leaning against the door frame.
"My sis will understand. I'll stay and help you with Dionne tomorrow, okay?"
Chione smiled as she put her head down. Then, without reason, she fell into Trace, grabbing onto him for dear life as he hugged her back, "You're a good friend, you know that? I don't have anyone but you to depend on and that's pretty sad." She giggled.
"I know, that is sad when all you have is my pitiful ass."
////////////
Three months had passed. Justin's phone calls to Chione ceased after a few weeks and his attempts to try and talk to her failed. But he was there for Dionne, picking her up every Friday and dropping her back off every Monday. Justin and Chione kept it civil but brief, saying hello and goodbye when they met at the door. She kept Justin up to date with what was going on with Dionne but other than that, there was nothing between them anymore.
Chione slowly but surely got her life back on track, keeping her job at the gallery, picking up a late shift at a grocery store and finding time to go to school and entertain her budding child. Trace helped her as much as he could, lending out his babysitting services and pretending that he had no idea why a couple hundred dollar bills found their way into her purse on occasion. He kept up with Justin, made sure that he was doing okay and that he was continuing to go to his classes.
One beautiful spring night, as Chione sat in her living room, typing away on her paper for English, her phone rang. Glancing at it once, she returned her attention to her paper as the phone added a new soundtrack to her school session. She smiled at Dionne who was playing at her feet and prayed that the phone would stop ringing soon. She heard the familiar beep of the answering machine and was about to tune out the message when his voice flooded into her ears.
"Hey Chione it's Justin. Um, I know that you don't want anything to do with me on any level other than being Dionne's father but... um... I graduating from my rehab, I just found out tonight. I passed all of my drug tests and... fuck, I'm graduating," he chuckled, "Anyway, um... my graduation is next Friday at 7 at the same place we had the forgiveness sessions..."
And then he paused.
Chione sat up straight and stared at the phone as her mouth hung open. Why was he telling her this? Did he want her to go? Did he want to take Dionne with him, "Spit it out Jay!" Chione said impatiently.
"Listen, I know that I hurt you Chione, I've hurt you more than a person deserves to be hurt. But, I need you baby, I need you to survive. Not being able to touch you or kiss you or talk to you over these last few months has been hell and I know you want you space but... shit. It would mean the world to me if you came and watched me graduate because I'm doing for you and Dionne. If it wasn't for you busting in on me that day and showing me her picture, I'd probably be dead right now. I love you, please know that, okay? And I don't want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable but if you showed up, it would show me that you haven't completely given up on me. It would show me that we could at least be friends. I just want to be your friend, okay? I hope I see you, bye Chi."
She heard his phone click and then another beep, letting her know that he had hung up. Her chest rose and fell slowly, her mouth still agape. Dionne's broken English and the sounds from the TV were all she heard as her mind raced a million miles an hour. She didn't know what to do. Things were still, raw between the two of them, at least on her side of the deal.
Not being able to finish her English paper, she slammed her laptop shut, turned off the tv and grabbed Dionne. She stomped up the stairs, trying to keep from thinking about the message that Justin had just left her. She did everything she could, showered herself and Dionne, put Dionne to sleep, cleaned her bedroom and bathroom and other things to clear her mind but nothing helped. She plopped down into bed around one thirty in the morning but sleep wouldn't come.
Justin's voice played over and over again in her head, haunting her like a ghost that didn't want to leave. She tossed and turned like she never had before that night. She couldn't make up her mind, she didn't even know if she wanted to make up her mind. But something he had said haunted her the most. It haunted her the most because she knew that it probably was true. She rolled over on her side and sighed as she stared out of her tiny window.
If it wasn't for you busting in on me that day and showing me her picture, I'd probably be dead right now.
She had one long night ahead of her.
twenty by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry it's been so long, but here's chapter 20. hope you enjoy, and thanks for all of the lovely reviews.
Justin stood in the lobby of the Los Angeles Rehabilitation Center, trying to concentrate on what his mother was saying to him. He glanced around the crowded lobby that was full of people, only a select few of them being his friends and family. He wanted to only see one face, one soft, sweet, gorgeous face. But he didn't. Every time he heard the gust of wind that accompanied the opening of the door, his head shot to the side. But every time, he was disappointed.
She probably wouldn't come, why would she want to? Every corner that she turned, turned out to be nothing by lies and despair and Justin was mostly at the source. He sighed inwardly, putting his hands in the pockets of his black slacks and returning his blue eyes on his mother. He smiled softly as his mother spoke to Lois, who had now joined them. He was nervous, but the feeling of his mothers arm around his waist and her hand on his chest calmed his spirits. He could feel that she was proud of him again and that felt better than almost anything else that he had achieved with his sobriety.
He then tuned out of the conversation again and looked around the large lobby. Over in the corner, he saw a young boy, probably nineteen or twenty, with his arms crossed over his chest. Justin has seen him once or twice before but he knew what his demon was. As Justin took in the boys appearance, it was hard for him to believe that he was in that same position literally months ago. His eyes then glided around the room at his small party. It was them. They were the reason that he decided to change and they were the only ones who wanted him to get better. They didn't want him to get better so he could get his career back or his million dollar friends. They wanted him to get better because they loved him and he had lost sight of that.
He then landed on Trace and his chest tightened immediately. As Trace stood talking to Paul, Justin's mind began to replay some of the not so nice memories of he and Trace. The harsh and angry, violent words that Justin had spewed at his life long friend. Berating him, yelling and screaming like a child to get what he wanted from Trace. And still, after all of that, Trace was there, watching him graduate. If only Justin could be the same kind of friend to Trace that Trace was to him in his time of need. But he was determined to make it up to him. He knew it would take months, years, even decades, but he would do it. Because he believed in Trace and he wanted Trace to believe in him.
And Dionne. His little, sweet baby girl. He had always loved children and he had often dreamed about starting a little army with Chione. It was supposed to be prefect, just like in the movies. He, going to all of the doctors appointments, waking up in the middle of the night to get Chione food, rubbing her back as she complained of discomfort. And then kissing her softly and whispering words of encouragement as she gave birth to their first child. Justin and Chione were supposed to smile through their tears as they gawked at their new baby girl.
But none of that happened.
Instead, he was laid up in some dark alley, shooting that poisonous liquid into his veins or snorting it up his nose while Chione sat in the hospital alone. He would be in a drunken stupor as Chione was feeding and rocking their beautiful baby to sleep at night. He didn't want Dionne to see any of this, to know that she was created by a man who would choose a white substance over her. Justin didn't want her to find out that he didn't even know her name for the first eight months of her life. She was everything good about him and he would nurture and protect her for the rest of his days; keeping her safe from the very thing that took him away from her.
"Justin? Are you okay baby?" Lynn said, tightening her grip around his waist a little to get his attention.
"Oh, yeah I'm fine. I'm gonna go to the bathroom okay ma?"
"Okay baby."
Justin excused himself from the ladies and made a quick B-line to the bathroom, smiling and acknowledging Trace and Paul. Once he pushed through the bathroom door, he locked it and walked over to the sink. He placed his hands on either side of the porcelain and stared at himself in the mirror. His breath began to quicken as he continued to look at himself in the glass. He closed his eyes and tried to control his body but nothing was working. His palms became cold and clammy as he stood up straight and backed away from the sink, shaking them out as he moved.
He wiped at his forehead as the hot tears began to sting at the back of his eyes and he ran his hand through his hair. He slammed his eyes shut and tried to rid his brain of the thoughts that he used to have. That one little fix would make him feel better, just one hit. He had his phone, it was right in his pocket and the number of Havier popped into his after months of trying to rid it for good.
His nose began to itch as he slammed his back against the wall, he could taste it, "I can't do this, I can't do this." He whispered over and over again, trying to convince himself that he hadn't changed, that he was still the same drug addict.
He dug into his pocket and whipped out his phone, sliding it open and dialing the number quickly. It rang three times and then his dealer picked up, "Ello?"
"Havier? It's Justin."
"You mean like, Justin Justin? Like, rich ass Justin?"
"Yeah, it's me." Justin said, sliding down to the floor and running his hand up and down his pants to rid it of the sweat.
"I haven't heard from you in a long time man, where you been?" His thick accented voice said.
"Just... around. Listen, I need some man, I'm... I'm freaking out right now and i just need some."
"Aight man, how much poppi?"
"Just a hit, one hit, that's it."
Just then, loud pounding invaded the small space of the bathroom, "Justin?" Trace called out.
"Yeah, just um, wait just a second," Justin called to Trace, returning his attention to the phone, "I'm at the Los Angeles Rehabilitation Center okay? Just come in, go to the bathroom and knock three times okay? Do you hear me? Havier?"
But the line was dead.
Justin cursed loudly as he looked down at his phone. No bars. He cursed again as he frantically redialed the number, tears beginning to stream down his face as his phone beeped at him, telling him that he had no service.
"Don't do this to me, don't!" He screamed as he through the phone into the opposite wall and watching it smash into pieces.
He placed his hands on either side of his head and rocked slowly as he continued to cry. Trace continued to beat on the door, trying to get Justin to open up but not wanting to alert to anyone that anything was wrong. When he didn't receive and answer and all he could hear was Justin's sobs, he moved away from the door and went to find someone who could open the door. After a few minutes of searching, he found an older janitor who agreed to open the door for him.
"Thank you." Trace whispered as he walked in, locking the door again.
He walked deeper into the bathroom and his breath caught in his throat when he saw his friend crumpled against the far wall behind the stalls, "Jay? What's going on man?" Trace asked as he kneeled down beside him.
"I can't do this," he sobbed, "I can't, I just can't."
"Why not Jay, you've worked so hard."
"I don't deserve it! Don't you see, I haven't changed. I still want it, I need it. I crave it." Justin continued to sob.
"We are here for you Justin, you don't have to do this alone. We all love you and we won't let you fall again."
"But what if it happens again, Trace? What if I hurt you all again? I'm mean, fuck, I just-"
"It doesn't matter. Once you and I walk out of this door, we leave it all in the past." Trace stood up and held out his hand to Justin, "Are you coming with me?"
Justin looked at his hand and extended his own hand but couldn't reach Trace. His then tear stained eyes reached his friend's dark ones and desperately searched them, asking Trace without words to help him. He leaned in and closed the distance between their hands and grasped onto to Justin's, pulling him forward and onto his feet.
Justin collapsed into his friend, hugging him tightly to his body, grabbing onto Trace's shirt as hard as he could, "Thank you, thank you so much." He said into Trace's neck.
"It's okay Jay, just get cleaned up okay? I'll be right outside, I promise."
Justin watched Trace walk out of the bathroom and walked over to the sink again. He wiped his face with his hands and then turned on the water, running his hands under the cold water. He cupped his hands, allowing the water to pool in his palms and then splashed it into his face. The coolness of the water washed over him as he began to calm back down. He repeated the process again a few times and then stood up again, grabbing some paper towels and blotting his face.
Once he was dry, he looked at himself again in the mirror. He did deserve it. He deserved a good, long life with his family and friends. Dionne deserved a coherent, loving father to protect her from the cruel world. Chione deserved a loving, devoted partner to help her raise their child. And Trace deserved a friend to be able to depend on. Justin took in a deep breath and let it out, never taking his eyes off of his reflection.
"I deserve it."
He threw away the damp paper towels and put his hand on the doorknob. He stood for a few seconds, contemplating just running and jumping out of the nearest window but then he through open the door instead and walked back out into the lobby. Trace slapped Justin on the back and smiled at him, adding more confidence to Justin's bruised ego. Justin smiled back a little and looked down at his shoes as Lois made the announcement that everything was ready.
Justin stood back and watched as they all walked down the hallway. Just as he was about to follow after his mother, the sound of the rushing wind hit his ear as someone entered the building. He was going to turn around to see if it was her, but then brushed the thought away. He took a step but the possibility of her being there stopped him. Telling himself not to get excited, he turned around.
And Chione was standing there with Dionne placed on her hip.
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
twenty one by god gave me style
Author's Notes:
sorry for the long delay, here's 21. let me know what you think okay?
Justin sat across from Chione in the less than crowded diner. He glanced around at the different people as he played with Dionne's hair as she sat in his lap. He was surprised that she had came to his graduation but he was utterly speechless when she agreed to have a bite to eat with him. He swallowed slowly and smiled softly at a waitress as she walked by.
"I'm proud of you." Chione said softly, offering a small smile, "You've come a very long way."
Justin kissed the top of Dionne's head and looked up at her mother, "Thank you. I uh, I wouldn't of made it without you guys."
Chione rubbed her neck and glanced away for a second before returning her gaze back to Justin, "Well, you had to make the decision to change Jay, we just kind of helped you along."
And then the quietness returned to them. Justin played with Dionne as she pointed at objects outside of the window. Chione smiled softly as she watched the two interact with each other. It was almost picture perfect. The man of her dreams laughing and playing with their daughter, Chione proudly being able to say that they belonged to her. But everything was... different now. There had been so many lies, so much destruction. How could she ever trust him again?
Part of her wanted to just forget about everything and go home with him; to just live a happy, carefree life like they had planned. But how do you forget about the hings that he had done? The beatings, the harsh words, knowing that someone he called a friend had her mugged. Chione let out a deep sigh and ran her hands through her long hair as the frustration built up in her.
Why couldn't things be easy?
The three ate the meals with minimal talk, and that was mostly done to Dionne as she tried to improve her speech. The drive home was quiet too, Chione keeping her gaze outside the window the entire time. When they pulled up to her house, she slid out of the passengers side and walked to back to collect the now sleeping Dionne.
"Do you need any help? You want me to carry her?" Justin asked quietly, walking around to her side of the car.
"I got it, thanks though."
"Can I walk you to the door?"
Chione nodded as the through Dionne's diaper bag over her shoulder and clutched Dionne to her chest. The clicks of her heels against the wet pavement filled the air as the post-rain wind whipped through the trees and against their skin. It still smelled like rain. Chione loved the rain.
Chione paused when she reached the front door, sliding her key into the wooden structure and turning it until she pushed through the door and into her foyer. She dropped the bag and turned to face Justin, who had his head down and hands in his pockets.
"Um, I have a test on Wednesday at five in the afternoon, do you think you could watch for me?" Chione asked softly.
"Sure, of course." He said, nodding.
"Great, um, I'll drop her off around four-thirty?" She asked, more than stated.
"Sounds great, I'll see then. Thank you for coming and thank you for bringing her tonight. I'll see you later."
She smiled as he turned and walked back to his car. She closed the door as soon as she heard his engine purr to life and locked it behind her. She headed straight upstairs, ignoring the beeping answering machine. Once inside Dionne's room, she kicked off her shoes and began to undress the small girl, placing her into her favorite pink pajamas. Once her task was completed, she lifted Dionne as she pulled back the Dora the Explorer sheets and laid her child underneath them. She kissed her softly and then exited the room.
She stripped down to her bare body once she was in her bedroom and started the shower, wanting nothing more than to wash away her thoughts and feelings. Her mind continued to race as she went through her mundane routine of washing, and brushing her teeth. She numbly brushed through her now damp hair and threw the brush down on the sink. She tightened her robe around her body and walked back into her bedroom. She turned on the tv and collapsed into the large bed, her back to the door.
Her fingers itched to touch him, to run her long, thin fingers through his hair. She was so proud of him; he was finally turning back into the man that she had fallen in love with. She just wanted to love him, but fear and pride was blocking her from doing so. She had to take a stand, if not for herself then for Dionne. If she fell for Justin again, she'd be telling him that he could just run all over her.
And JC. That was just the absolute edge for her. How could Justin hide such a thing from her? She felt sick every time she thought about JC. She trusted him, she let him hold her daughter. They made love hundreds of times while Justin was strung out. And come to find that he as well was a wolf in sheep's clothing. She hadn't really heard from him since that awful day at Justin's parents house when she found out. When she returned to work, Jenna told her that he had stopped by looking for but he didn't leave a message.
JC then called her a few days after that but hung up before she had decided to answer. And then, he was gone. No more calls, no more visits, no more attempts to get her to reconsider the possibility of being with him. Not that she missed him or anything, he was better off gone. But yet, she couldn't help but feel bad about the situation. She was really the cause of the strange love triangle that they were in. But he had no right to invade her the way he did. And for that, she hoped he burned in hell.
Oh, what a mess a her life had become.
She sighed loudly as she rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling. She had to be strong, she had to resist Justin. But the feeling of her running her hands long his broad, naked back as his lips caressed the skin of her neck soon flooded her body. She closed her eyes as she vividly remembered kissing a trail down his beautiful body. Smiling and giggling as she forged a path down his slender frame. The sounds of his shortened breath was music to her ears back then as she came dangerously close to his thighs.
Chione began to lose herself in the memory as her hand started to run slowly between her breasts. She hadn't gotten any in a while, she was entitled to a little fun with herself. Just as her fingers began to dip between her thighs, a loud knock at the door sounded through the house. She jumped and sat up slightly as the thoughts of Justin disappeared. She shot her head to the left, waiting to see if the night visitor had gone away.
When a few more minutes went by, Chione laid back down again and slammed her eyes shut. She willed the thoughts of Justin to return as she untied her robe and hiked her silk nightly up around her waist. Justin as her fingers began to play with the hem of her black lace panties and the memories of sex with Justin began to return, the loud knock came again.
"Fuck!" Chione screamed as she jumped out of the bed.
She harshly tied the belt around her robe as she stomped downstairs and through the foyer, "JC, if it's you, I swear to God, you will never have children you sick fuck!" She screamed as she swung open the door.
Her breath hitched in her throat and she froze in place as she faced the person at her front door. She gripped her robe as her chest rose and fell. Her gaze never wavered from his.
"What do you want?" She breathed.
"I just want to talk to you, Chione, just for a second." JC said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
"No, you get the fuck out of here right now, or I'm calling the police."
"Just wait a second! I'm not going to hurt you okay, just please let me talk to you."
Chione scoffed, "What in the hell do you possibly have to say to me? After everything you've done?"
He put his head down and ran a hand through his dark hair, "I just want to apologize. I've done some fucked up shit but... I love you. I've... I've wanted you from the very first moment that Justin introduced you to us. He was never good enough for you."
"And you were? JC please, this is just-"
He held up a hand to stop her, "Just let me finish. Look at what he's done to you Chione. He got you pregnant and then left you high and dry because he was too busy shooting up! He cheated on you, beat you to a bloody pulp, and then had you arrested for trying to help his ass and you still think that he's worth your time? I could give you so much more than that and you know it."
Chione shook her head, keeping her arms crossed at her chest, "He didn't have somebody mug me to get into my pants!"
"I just wanted you to pay attention to me! You were so caught up in him, you wouldn't have even-"
"I was in love with him! What don't you understand about that? He was my boyfriend JC, not you. You had no right to do that to me! None at all!"
He took a step toward her, "I know that and I'm sorry but at the time I thought that was the only way I could get you to myself for a while."
"And you just thought that I'd fall into your arms and cry and then take off my clothes because Justin was in New York? Well, things backfired a little bit didn't it?" She said, narrowing her eyes at him, "There was nothing that you could have done to have gotten me to leave him. He is the best man that I have ever had the pleasure of being with. You need to go."
"Chione, just listen to me-"
She shook her head, "No. Leave."
"Chione, I swear to you, I can give you and Dionne everything that you deserve. Just come with me, please." He held out his hand to her, praying that she would take it.
Chione stared down at his open hand as she breathed slowly. A year ago, she would have taken his hand. She possibly would have run away with him because at least she knew that she would be safe with him. But now, that hand was nothing but lies and deceit. She could never and would never trust him again.
"No! You know, Justin might have problems but at least he is a man! He would have never intentionally hurt me like you did." She laughed sarcastically at him, "You're trash. Stay away from my daughter and stay away from me or next time, I'm getting you hauled off to jail."
Chione stepped back inside her home and slammed the door, locking it behind her. He continued to knock and ring the doorbell as she went around to all of the doors and windows, making sure that they too were closed and locked. She walked upstairs and into Dionne's bedroom, picking her up carefully and cradling her as she moved back into her bedroom.
JC's final doorbell ring came a few seconds later. She glanced around the room as she heard his car start up and move away, hopefully for the last time. She cuddled up next to her child and stroked her curly hair, soothing her frazzled nerves.
When was her life ever going to get better?
When was all of the bullshit going to end?
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.