Stefani Anderson sighed heavily as she opened up the white door to her parents' home. The house was dark as she stumbled into the living with a million grocery bags in her small hands.

"Pat!" she called to her brother as she flicked on a lamp and switched off the television he had left on. "Patrick! C'mon, help me with the groceries." Stefani rolled her eyes and groaned when all she heard was silence in response before placing the load of groceries onto the granite counter top of the island. Tossing her car keys aside and placing her cell phone by the sink, she turned to put away the groceries.

"Milk, eggs, cheese. . ." she mumbled as she listed off the items as she put them away, "Pizza, chicken, chips, Pat's cookies. . ." After five minutes, she successfully completed her task and a satisfied smile spread across her face as she walked over to the answer machine that was flashing its red light. She pressed play and leaned against the counter.

"Hey, Stef, it's mom," Stefani smiled softly. Her mother always introduced herself as though Stefani wouldn't recognize her voice after twenty-one years. "I'm just calling to check up on you guys. Just four more days before your father and I are home. I love you guys so much. Try and tame Pat for me. Patrick, if this is you, I didn't mean that." Stefani laughed as the message ended.

"Stef, where the hell are you?" That would be the voice of Keshon, Stefani's best friend. "I've been calling you, like, all day. I know you're working, but, damn it, I'm more important. Call me, aight? Love ya." Message three came streaming through the speaker next.

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson." Stefani smiled at Justin's voice, her other best friend, as Keshon puts it. "I hope you two are doing well. Pat, what's up, lil' man? I know, you're not little. Oh, and, Stef, call me. You know you want to. Bye."

"Ah, no more pointless messages," Stefani said as the messages came to an end. She deleted them all and turned to get a glass of juice before a thump upstairs caught her attention. "Patrick?" Stefani made her way up the back stairs in the kitchen and called out to her brother once more. She rolled her eyes when she saw the light in his room switch off. He had always been like this, hiding and trying to scare her.

"This is getting old, Pat," she said as she finally reached the top of the stairs. "You'd think a sixteen year old would get over this." she mumbled glumly as she trailed up the hall to his room. She was halfway there when she heard a sneaker squeak up towards her parents' room. Her heart jumped for a second before she rationalized that Patrick must've skipped through the door that connected his room to their parents.

"You're not slick, idiot," she said as she swung her parents' door open only to find it empty and untouched, just the way they left before their trip to Hawaii to celebrate their anniversary. With a groan, she turned back towards his room and began to angrily stomp up the hall. "All right, now I'm gonna beat your ass." She angrily pushed his door open and surveyed his room. It was dark and empty until she switched on the light. "Pat?" She knelt down and looked under his bed. "Where are you, man?" She felt a draft from her spot on the floor and looked up. Stefani stood and was walking over to shut his open window when her sneaker clad foot landed on something crunchy. She looked downward and saw shards of glass scattered all over the floor from the window she now saw was broken as a wind blew the curtains aside.

Her began to beat twenty times faster than before as she slowly began to back out of the room. When the tree below his window brushed against the house, she turned to run, but screamed instead.

"Shhh. . ." Stefani stood, paralyzed by the strange man standing in front of her. She screamed again and made a beeline for the side door that connected to her parents' room. As she made her way through, a hand from out of nowhere clamped over her mouth. She bit down without a second thought and the person it belonged to groaned as she continued to run blindly through the dark hall. Before she could reach the stairs, the stranger from her brother's room emerged from thin air and blocked her path. His face was hidden behind a ski mask and he narrowed his eyes, feasting them on his prey. Stefani turned, ready to run back into her parents' room, but there was another man standing in the doorway, rubbing his hand. There were two and she was trapped.

"Please," she began to plead with tears filling her large brown eyes, "You can take whatever you want, but. . . don't hurt me." Helpless was an understatement for what she was feeling, but that was the only word that stood out in her mind as the men exchanged looks.

"Okay," the man by her brother's room said, "We won't hurt you." Stefani glanced behind her before facing the man in front again. She didn't trust them. Something in his voice seemed to be laced with sarcasm.

"Yeah," the man in her parents' room spoke up, "We'll just hurt parts of you." Stefani's eyes frantically searched around her for some escape. With a man in front of her and another behind her, those options were closed. But then she looked to her left and spotted the railing. If she jumped over it, she could break a leg, but make it out the back door. She decided that a broken leg would probably be better than what the two men were planning on doing to her, so she paused and looked at them both quickly before making a short run towards it. She closed her eyes and lept, but the grip on her ankle pulled her off course, literally, and caused her to hit her chin on the banister. Stefani whimpered as the collision caused her to bite down on her tongue. It took her a moment to realize that she was being lifted from the floor by her ankles and wrists.

Stefani violently lashed out, trying to kick and screaming until she was out of breathe. Tears ran down her face as she saw them moving towards her bedroom.

"Yo, do you wanna die, bitch?!" The man holding her wrists asked maliciously as he hovered over her face. She whimpered out a 'no' and cried hysterically.

"Please. . . please don't do this." The men seemed unfazed by her pleas as they carelessly tossed her onto her full size canopy bed.

"How do you want her?" one of the men asked.

"She looks like she has a good ass," the other commented, "I think I'll take it from there." Stefani could not believe her ears and refused to allow this to happen. She jumped up from the bed and made an attempt to head out of the door. The man who had was holding her wrist grabbed her frailing arm and yanked her to the floor, pinning her down to the ground.

"I like 'em strong," he chuckled before Stefani gathered all her strength and shoved his face back. He fought against her and won within five seconds. His large hand gripped her neck, ripping the air right from her throat. "Don't fuck with me!"

"Put her on the bed," the other man demanded. He quickly obliged, lifting her up from the ground, still holding her neck loosely, and throwing her onto the bed stomach first. Stefani tried to turn, but one of the men held the back of her neck down. She began to scream the moment she felt one of their hands pulling at her sweat pants. She started to kick, feeling her feet hit them a few times.

"If you don't stop kickin' and shut the fuck up," one of them began to yell, "I'm gonna blow your fuckin' brains out." Though her tears blurred her vision, Stefani could feel the cold metal of a gun pressing on her left temple. Her cries quieted, but she whimpered when she felt the crotch of one of the men pressed against her rear, their erection clearly evident.

"I can give you money," Stefani offered, "We have money. I can show you where it is if you don't do this. Please, don't."

"I've never met a whore that pays their clients before," one of them. It sounded like it was coming from the right, but she couldn't turn to look. The one behind her laughed.

"Help me get these off of her," the one behind her said, referring to her sweat pants as he began to tug at them. Stefani began to wingle around wildly and the man behind her groaned, "Oh, I like that." he chuckled. Stefani ignored his statement and continued to move around wildly before the other man grabbed hold of her ankles. With his free hand, the one behind her pulled down her pants and panties.

"No!" Stefani cried, "No, stop!" They only laughed before the man behind her leaned down to her ear.

"I haven't even started yet, sweetheart." Without warning, he rammed himself inside of her. Stefani groaned in pain as he violently ripped through her. She could feel blood trickling down her thighs and the other man laughed.

"I think we've got ourselves a virgin," he laughed, "Well, we did." Stefani held in her screams as he continued to mercilessly pump inside of her.

"Oh, she's getting wet," the man chuckled, "I think she likes it." Stefani's body ached as he moved faster. She cried out in pain and they shared a laugh at her expense.

“You like that, girl?” the other asked. Stefani didn’t answer. She whimpered in pain instead. “I asked you a question!” He gripped her hair and she yelped. She felt his gun pressed to her ear and her heart broke as she spoke.

“I like it,” she said softly. He pressed the gun harder to her head.

“Louder,” he demanded as the man behind her moved faster and harder into her.

“I like it!” she shouted as best she could. Within seconds, she felt the burn of the other’s man ejaculation and her stomach churned. Before she could even hold it, vomit spewed from her mouth and onto her bed.

“Guess you were too much for her,” the man with the gun laughed with the other. “My turn.” Once again, he gripped her hair, pulling her from the bed and up. Stefani fell to the ground when a sharp pain shot up from inbetween her legs and into her stomach.

“Stand up!” The other man demanded as he zipped up his pants.

“I can’t,” Stefani whispered.

“It’s okay,” the man with the gun comforted condescendingly, “You on your knees works for me too.” He quickly undid his pants, allowing them to fall to his ankles. “Suck it, bitch.” Stefani stared at his semi-erected self and shook her head.

“No,” she stated defiantely. The man scoffed.

“So, he can get some pussy, but I can’t get my dick sucked?” he asked in disbelief. He looked over at his companion briefly before striking Stefani with the handle of his gun. She screamed and held her jaw as the taste of her own blood salted her mouth. “I told you to stop fuckin’ with me.”

“My jaw. . .” she whimpered with a fresh set of tears.

“’My jaw. . .’” he mocked, “My cock, bitch.” He grabbed her hair and placed her in front of his penis, “Don’t try anything either.” He pressed his gun to her head to emphasize his point and Stefani cried as she took hold of him and placed his head into her mouth. She pulled back instantly wiped her mouth.

“I can’t.”

“You can,” the man argued, shoving himself into her mouth, “And you will.” He held her head in place with his free hand and pushed it forward, forcing her to deep throat him. She let out a choking noise and pushed him back when she felt her stomach churn again. She vomitted on the floor and coughed.

“I can’t. . .” she whimpered, “I don’t. . . I don’t know how.”

“Learn,” he said coldly, forcing himself back into her mouth. She attempted to ‘try’ for ten minutes and had thrown up half a dozen times before he finally gave up. He told her companion the smell of her vomit had been too much and they dragged her out of her room into her brother’s.

“Strip,” the one without the gun demanded. Stefani did as told and tiredly stood on display for the two men. The man without the gun walked over to her and shoved her back onto the bed. He held her down by her neck and Stefani began to cry again.

“Please. . . stop.” She no longer had the energy to fight them.

“Shhh. . .” he whispered as he began to fondle her breast. He gestured for his friend to join him and they both began to fondle her breast, kiss her neck and forcefully spread her legs to fondle her most private area. They took advantage of her weak state in the worst ways possible. They had taken turns having sex with her, fondling her, calling her names. Stefani had prayed everytime they raped her until she lost count of her attacks and lost faith in all her unanswered prayers.

It felt like forever before the men seemingly gotten bored with her listless body and got dressed. Stefani remained on the bed, bringing her legs up to her chest even though it hurt to do so.

“Thanks,” the man with the gun laughed as he walked over to her, caressing her cheek. Stefani slapped his hand away and glared at him.

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” he responded nonchalantly. He looked as though he would walk away, but he turned around quickly. Stefani flinched, expecting a hit of some sort. She only heard laughter before her hair was pulled. She stumbled from the bed and onto the floor, landing on her knees. The man with the gun pressed it to her forehead as he knelt down to her level. Stefani closed her eyes and he tapped the gun on her head for her attention. Her eyes opened narrowly and he slowly began to remove his mask. In the darkness of the room she could only make out his profile, and sharp cheek bones. She shivered as he moved his face forward until their noses were practically touching. Now she could see the cold stare of his blue, almond shaped eyes, thin lips, and the stubble covering his jaw. His hand ran over her swollen face and she hissed.

“Remember this face, sweetheart,” he whispered eerily before standing up and holding the gun to the center of her forehead. Stefani looked up at him one last time before closing her eyes, waiting for the shot. “Bang!” She jumped and they laughed as he pulled the trigger and nothing came out.

“Wha-” Her sentence was cut short the moment he picked her up by her shoulders and pushed her roughly onto the glass covered floor by the window. She whimpered as she felt the small shards cutting into her skin. The man with the gun hovered over her and smiled before hitting her in the temple. For a moment her vision became hazy, her mind swarming with visions of her attackers, before her eyes rolled behind her head and everything black.

She could hear beeping. It sounded like those heart monitors on ER, the show she would always TiVo old episodes of just to catch glimpses of George Clooney. She could feel a hand. It was warm and squeezing hers every five seconds, she counted. She could see a face. It was tear stained and had blue eyes. . .

“No!” Stefani screamed as she sat up abruptly. Her IV shifted with her movement as well as every other machine attached to her body. Justin rested his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her as well as his rapidly beating heart.

“Stef! Stef!” he called, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” His cooing seemed to relax her as she quieted and took in her surroundings.

“Where?” she asked simply.

“Hospital,” he told her sadly, “Oh, Steffy.” he whispered, causing her mind to flood with memories of her attack.

“No,” she said in disbelief, “I have to. . . I have to. . .”

“You have to rest,” Justin said, “It’s okay. Relax.”

“Patrick!” she told him, gripping his arm, “Patrick. . .”

“He’s fine,” Justin told her, “He’s at my house.” With that peace of mind, Stefani sat back onto the bed and stared into space. Her absent state of mind made Justin uneasy.

“How-” He cut his question short. What kind of question was how are you? in a time like this.

“I’m fine,” Stefani answered shortly, “I. . . I’m just in pain.” Justin burned him up inside.

“We’re going to find him, I swear.”

“Them,” she corrected.

“What?”

“There. . . there were two. . .” she whimpered before tears welled up in her eyes. Justin took her hand and squeezed it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” she told him, offering a fake smile, “It was mine.”

“Stef-”

“I sat in that house like an idiot,” she said softly, “I felt something was wrong and I just kept saying it was Patrick, it was Patrick. . .”

“This is not your fault,” Justin stated firmly, “Those bastards took advantage of you.”

“I gave up,” she continued as though she didn’t hear him, “I just. . . let them."

"What were you suppose to do?" Justin asked, "You against two men? You can barely fight Pat." Somewhere along his comforting, Stefani was insulted.

"Exactly," she said softly, "I'm weak. I can't even. . . defend myself."

"That's not what I meant," Justin told her quickly, "I mean. . . Stef, you must've been terrified. And it was two against one. . . There was just no way." She looked down at her feet. They were covered by the white, boring sheets of her hospital bed. A wave of guilt and self-pity washed over her.

"I wanna go-" She almost said 'home', but how could she call that a home again?

"You can't yet," Justin said, "The doctors needed your consent for a couple of tests." She closed her eyes as if his words had been painful, but nodded.

"Can you get them?" Justin squeezed her hand one last time before standing and leaving the room. Stefani watched as he walked past her window and disappeared further up the hall. She sighed and fell against her pillows. Fear ran through her as a chill ran up her spine. She hated hospitals. She hated why she was here. She hated taking test.

She began to wonder if her parents knew. If Patrick knew. She was sure they did if Justin knew. She felt embarrassed and ashamed. Justin's sympathetic looks killed her. How was she suppose to stand the stares of the rest of her friends and family? She was sure that word would travel and pity would practically consume her.

"Hello, Miss. Anderson." Stefani looked up from her hands and saw a middle aged nurse walking towards her, Justin trailing behind. The woman had blonde hair and green eyes. She reminded her of Lynn, Justin's mother, with her southern twang and it comforted her some.

"Hello," Stefani whispered, finding some of her voice.

"My name is Natalie, darlin', and I'm going to take you to a lab up the hall to run some tests," she began to explain before turning to Justin, "Sir, if you don't mind waiting out in the hall while I explain the procedure." Justin immediately got that defensive, overprotective look and Stefani stopped him before he began to whine.

"It's okay," she assured, "I'll be fine." Justin relunctantly exited the room and Natalie continued as she pulled out papers from her clipboard.

"I know that what you've been through has been a very traumatizing experience, but if you consent to these tests, they can help assist you in finding the person responsible." Stefani felt tempted to correct her with 'the people responsible', but the thought of saying that again almost made her vomit.

"Okay."

"These papers," Natalie said, placing them on Stefani's lap, "Give me permission to extract any resedue from your body. Semen and such." Stefani sucked in a breath and felt the urge to cry again.

"Okay."

"These," she handed her another small packet, "Explains exactly how I take the samples and if you sign the last page, it'll give me permission to give the evidence to police officials." Stefani nodded as she tried to follow along.

"Okay."

"So, if you sign these, we can get this over and done with so you can go home." Stefani nodded and took the pen Natalie offered her. She didn't even bother reading anything because, quite frankly, she didn't care. Reading was the last thing on her mind. All she wanted to do was shower.

"Can we go now?" Stefani asked tiredly as she handed over the papers. Natalie accepted them and nodded as she stood. She walked over to a corner of the room and rolled out the wheel chair that had been sitting there. Stefani watched as she placed it on the side of her bed and offered a warm smile.

"Just climb in and we can roll." Stefani had wondered if that had been a joke, but didn't see the humor in it either way. As she began to slide herself from underneath the covers, the numb pain between her legs became sharp and she hissed and paused. Natalie seemed saddened by this and helped her from the bed and into the chair. Stefani didn't thank her though, far too embarrased to even speak. When Natalie opened the door and began to push her out, Justin appeared by her side with his parents.

Stefani saw Lynn's concerned eyes and looked down. She didn't want her pity and she didn't want to cry. Lynn, however, knelt down beside her chair and cupped her face in her loving hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she whispered. Stefani nodded, not knowing what to say as continued to avoid her eyes.

"What's happenin' here?" Paul, Justin's stepdad, spoke up.

"We're going down to the lab for testing," Natalie explained. Lynn finally tore herself away from Stefani and stood up straight.

"Testing?" she asked.

"Yes, for evidence," Natalie explained. They both nodded knowingly and Stefani looked up at Justin when he squeezed her shoulder softly. It hurt a bit, but Stefani didn't complain.

"Can we. . ." Stefani said softly, Natalie nodded.

"You guys can wait in the family room. We'll be right out." As Natalie pushed her up the hall, Stefani looked over her shoulder and watched as the family she claimed as her own watched her roll away with sad eyes. Stefani turned forward and stared down at her hands, unable to hold back the single tear that graced her cheek. As she rode down the hall, she felt as though all eyes were on her, looking at her with pity and disappointment.

"Sorry, it's a lil' chilly in here," Natalie apologized as the entered a secluded room at the end of the hall. Stefani looked around the room and spotted a single bed, propped up like a chair with small tables covered in silver, sterilized tools. She shivered, not only from the cold, but from the realization that she was going to be sitting on that table.

It took only five minutes before her fears were confirmed and she was sitting uncomfortably on the craft-matic bed. Natalie silently prepared some scooping device and Stefani looked away. She had a good idea where that was going and it almost made her cry. In fact, it did make her cry.

"I know," Natalie comforted, "It'll only be a second, I promise." Stefani wanted to ask if she really did know. If she had been raped. She doubted it. Most people who claim they know have no idea.

"It's cold," Stefani squeaked out, trying to stall the inevitable. Natalie walked over to a closest and pulled out a blanket. She placed it over Stefani's legs.

"Better?" She nodded. "Okay, Stefani, I'm going to need you to prop your feet up here." Natalie pulled out to long, foot rest from underneath the bed and patted them.

"Why?" Stefani asked worriedly.

"I need a clear view of the area," Natalie informed her. 'The area?' Stefani wanted to ask in disbelief. She couldn't believe that just twenty-fours before she was sure that only her future husband and herself would have access to her most private area, but as she propped her feet up and Natalie slapped on her latex gloves, there will have been three against her will.

"Ow. . ." Stefani hissed as the scooping tool entered her and probbed her body. It was cold and hard and it was painful, but it only took a second, as promised, and Stefani was grateful.

"Okay," Natalie said, "Test two." Natalie slide the foot rest back under the bed and Stefani's feet hung idily. She watched as Natalie put on orange goggles and pulled out a small flashlight-looking tool.

"What's that?" she asked curiously. Natalie walked over to the door and rested her hand against the light switch.

"This is something that allows me to see any hiden bodily fluids. All I have to do is switch off these lights and let it work its magic." Stefani nodded before the lights were switched off. Her eyes struggled against the darkness until Natalie switched on her flashlight tool. The light was tinted in a blue color and was shrone on her skin. Stefani couldn't see anything unusual, but Natalie began to swab away at her thighs and the side of her face. She then turned on the lights and placed the cotton swabs in a small plastic bag.

"Okay, just one more sample," she said, getting a tongue depresser and a long swab. "Open your mouth, please." Stefani did as told, her mouth quivering as her began to choke up when her attack replayed in her mind. "Okay, that's it." She removed the swab and put that in a plastic bag as well.

"I. . . I can go home?" Stefani asked. Natalie nodded and Stefani slide from the table slowly, her bare feet hitting the cold floor. Natalie helped her into her wheel chair again and they began their travel down the hall. Stefani bowed her head in shame the entire time. She looked up when she heard Justin's voice as she was rolled into her room.

"Are you. . . all right?" Stefani nodded. "I brought you some clean clothes." Stefani looked up at her bed and saw a small pile of folded clothes on the edge of it. "Not the cutest outfit, but it's the best I could do." He chuckled lightly and Stefani smiled weakly at him.

"Thank you." Natalie had long left the room and Justin stepped out into the hall when she said she was going to change. Stefani slowly began to remove the two hospital robes covering her. She allowed them to drop to the floor and ran her hands over her bruised, naked body. Her skin crawled when her fingers grazed a bandage covering up the cuts on her shoulders. As she looked over herself, she felt out of place. The body she was in didn't feel like hers. It felt dirty. . . used. . . disgusting.

She got dressed quickly and ignore the pain she was feeling as she walked out of her room. As she turned the corner to the waiting area, she saw Natalie speaking with Justin and his family. They were nodding and listening intently as she slowly made her way over to them. Paul was the first to spot her and he smiled gently. Everybody turned and face her then, haulting their previous conversation. She hated them for it. She wasn't a child. She had a right to know what they were saying because she knew it was about her, but she didn't speak.

"Stefani, I'll be sending the samples out today and the officials will get so much help from these, so thank you for your coroporation." Natalie placed her hand on her shoulder lightly and Stefani looked up at her. "Get a lot of rest, dear." Rest. As if she'd ever close her eyes again.

"Okay," Stefani mumbled before turning to Lynn, "Can we go now?" Lynn nodded before turning back to Natalie.

"Thank you." They began to make their way out to the car and Justin was walking beside Stefani, talking about something she wasn't listening to. Her eyes were taking in everything around her, looking for any sign of danger. She found herself walking close to Justin as he spoke. He took it as a sign to wrap his arm around her shoulder comfortingly. Stefani didn't say a word, but having him touching her made her body tense. As soon as they reached the car, she detached herself from him and slipped into the backseat of their car. Justin slipped in beside her and Lynn sat in the passanger seat. She turned and smiled weakly in Stefani's direction before Paul got into the driver's side and rode off.

Pressing her head against the glass window, Stefani couldn't think of anything. Her mind was blank, for once in her life. Nobody said a word during the ride to the Harless household. Nobody spoke during the parking or unloading of the car. Justin had held the door open for her and Patrick ran down the stairs to hug her, but she didn't hug him back, unable to move as she stared up the steps longingly.

Stefani dragged herself up the steps after Lynn offered lunch and she declined. She had safely made her way into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She undressed and turned on the shower. The water steamed up the mirrors and she slowly stepped into the warm water. As soon as it touched her skin, Stefani began to peel away the bandages. It stung a little when the water hit her back, but she continued to peel them off. She grabbed the first bar of soap she saw and began to wash. Her scrubbing was light at first, but then she began to scratch herself, wanting to remove the dirt. She grabbed a bottle of shampoo and poured it into her hair carelessly. She rubbed, scrubbed, and scratched her skin to the point where it was red. The water cooled down some and she opened up the hot water more. She continued to wash, her skin burning and she not caring. She wanted it to be gone. All the pain, all the guilt and regret, all her soiled skin.

Tears ran down her cheeks and mixed with the shower water. Her finger tips were wrinkled and her skin was irritated by the friction and the harsh water pouring on her. Her skin still crawled and she was still scrubbing. Scrubbing away the shame.

It was her sophomore year of high school when Stefani had first come in contact with Justin. He sat in the seat beside her and would always be engaged in some hysterical conversation with the boys surrounding him. Keshon and Stefani would be carrying on as well, laughing at one of Keshon's crazy tales about her cousin R.J.

That morning the class had been oddly quiet. Whether it was because of the rain or the fact that it had been Monday is still a mystery. Justin was drumming a beat on his desk absentmindedly before he reached over and tapped her shoulder. Stefani turned and faced him expectantly and all he did was ask if she had been in his pre-calculus class. That simple question launched a conversation about their common hatred for the subject and the teacher, and paved the way for the friendship that blossomed from there on.

Communication was the key to their friendship. They found it surprisingly easy to be honest with each and share feelings and goals, but now, Stefani was buried deep within herself and unable to vocalize her pain and fear because, for once in the extent of their friendship, she knew he could not understand. Even when he watched her, his eyes full with worry, she did not speak to him. She tried to avoid his gaze and his presence in general. All she wanted to do was crawl in a deep, dark hole and disappear.

But here she was sitting at the Harlesses' dinner table instead. Justin sat beside her, Lynn and Paul across from them, and Patrick at the head of the table. Lynn had prepared a hearty meal of fried chicken, greens, rice, gravy, and mashed potatoes. It smelled and looked delicious, as delicious as Stefani remembered it tasting, but her plate remained untouched.

No amount of food could fill the gaping hole in her chest no matter how good it looked or smelled or tasted. In fact, Stefani didn't believe she'd ever be able to eat again. The thought of putting anything into her mouth disgusted her. She felt that she would vomit if she stared at her plate hard enough.

"Aren't ya hungry?" Lynn asked with her southern twang in full swing. Stefani could feel the eyes of everybody at the table as she looked down at her full plate and shrugged.

"I'm okay, I guess." Stefani could almost feel the frown forming on Lynn's face.

"Well, you have to eat, honey," she pressed on, "It'll make you feel better." Stefani wondered if Lynn honestly believed that fried chicken could make up for the destruction of her world. That greens could make up for the violation she experienced. That mashed potatoes could make her constant worry disappear. That the rice and gravy could keep her company so she wouldn't feel as alone as she did. . .but she didn't ask.

"I think I'm gonna lie down." Everybody paused their eating to watch Stefani slowly drag herself out of the dining area and into the living room before trudging up the stairs. Justin glanced down at his plate and picked at his greens, suddenly losing his appetite. The family ate in silence, an awkward silence they rarely had.

Stefani stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up. The hall was dark now, unlike earlier when she had showered. She shivered and hugged herself at the thought of what, rather who, would be lurking in the darkness. She found herself backing away and settling onto the lush, tan sofa in the living room. She curled up against the cushions and rested her head on the armrest.

Her eyes were heavy, but she could not sleep. She was too afraid to dream of him. Of them. To relive her night of terror in her mind again. The picture of his sharp, cold, uncaring eyes appeared in her head and she shook her head, trying to knock out the thought.

"Honey?" Lynn approached her resting spot and Stefani began to sit up to give her room. "No, that's okay, dear." She laid back down without hesitation as Lynn moved to sit at her feet. Stefani could feel her stare burning a hole into her head. It was that look your mother gave you when she knew you had something to say, but was too afraid to tell.

Stefani pretended to be unfazed and Lynn sighed.

"Your mother and father are stuck in Hawaii," she informed her suddenly. Stefani shifted her gaze to Lynn's. "The storm that's moving in on us seems to really be hittin' them hard. Lots of winds and floods. No flights are allowed out until it passes." Stefani stared at her and remained quiet.

"They told me it could at least be a week until they come home," Lynn concluded as Stefani wished it would be longer. Any time away from what used to be her home would do her good. Lynn patted her bare feet sympathetically as if she read her mind and rose from the couch. She made her way out of the living room and Stefani continued to rest there, staring at the black television.

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Stefani woke up with a jult when the loud clap of thunder shook the house. Everything was dark in the house except for the light the moon provided through a window. Stefani sat up and felt herself get tangled in a blanket that had been placed over her. She stood and blindly felt her way over to a table lamp before clicking it on and sighing in relief.

Another clap of thunder sounded through the quiet house as she crept through the living room and into the dark kitchen. She flipped the light switch, illuminating the room, and dragged herself over to the dish holder by the sink. She picked up a tall glass cup and began to walk toward the fridge. Another flash of lightening and another clap of thunder. Stefani glanced out of the kitchen window and gasped as a shadow ran by. She began to tremble, staring at the window, hoping that she was just losing her mind.

Another clap of thunder and the whole house went dark.

Stefani dropped the glass in her hand and it crashed against the floor. She was still shaking with fear as knelt down and blindly felt around the glass. She hissed when a shard sliced through her skin. A quick flash of lightening and another clap of thunder rattled her brain as she thought about the glass that pierced through her back when she was thrown onto the floor. Tears welled up in her eyes again and wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"Shit," she hissed when she slapped her hand back down on the glass, completely forgetting about the cup. She was picking the shards from her palm when she heard it. The sound of quiet footsteps. Her breathing quickened as she froze and listened. The sound moved closer to the kitchen and the floor creaked beneath the weight of the walker.

Stefani fell to her hands and knees, once again forgetting about the glass that was now dragging beneath her palm as she crawled across the floor. She ignored the sharp pain of her cuts as she cowarded behind the island in the center of the kitchen and waited as the footsteps drew nearer.

She wanted to scream. Scream for anyone. Scream to scare this attacker away. But she couldn't find her voice. She could barely find her breath. It was less than twenty-four hours since her rape and already, this was happening.

The feet had reached the kitchen. The transition from soft carpet to cold tile was a swoosh and a slap that resounded in her ears. The steps drew nearer and Stefani looked in the direction of the pacing feet. Then it stopped. The room was quiet. Stefani waited and waited. . .

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Stefani screamed as the animalistic cry ran out through the kitchen as her attacker jumped from where he hid and landed beside her. His arms were raised and a bat was in full swing, but came to a hault as his cry subsided into heavy breathing. "Steffy?"

Stefani stopped screaming long enough to see Justin's profile in the moonlight. He dropped the bat to his side and knelt down to the ground. She could hear his heavy breathing before he laughed and shook his head. "You scared the shit outta me," he told her softly.

"Somebody. . . I . . . " she stuttered as she tried to explain the shadow she saw. She pointed towards the window and Justin furrowed his brows.

"Did you see something?" he asked. She nodded and he stood, grabbing his bat. He walked over to the window and peaked outside. He saw nothing and checked the other windows as well. "I don't see anything."

"He was there. . ."

"Who?" Justin asked as the tears welled up in her eyes.

"I. . . don't. . ."

"It's okay," Justin cooed before kneeling down beside her again and cupping her face in his hands. "I'll check outside, okay?" He stood and walked to the back door, slowly unlocking and creaking it open. Stefani watched as he disappeared outside and remained out in the rain for what felt like forever. She wiped her face and felt the blood on her hand smear onto her face. She groaned and slowly stood as Justin re-entered the kitchen.

"There was nobody outside," he assured as water dripped from his body. Another flash of light and another clap of thunder and the lights were on again. Justin's eyes widened as Stefani stood in front of his, a small puddle of blood in her hands. He looked down at the glass on the floor and back at her as she stood in silence.

"I fell," Stefani said softly. Justin searched her eyes as she slowly walked over to her, careful not to step on the glass. He led her to the sink and rinsed her hands off without a word. He was in the middle of patting her hands dry with a clean dish towel when a small crash caught their attention.

"Paul!" Lynn whispered harshly to her husband.

"It's okay, mom," Justin said, "It's just us." A few seconds later, Paul, Lynn, and Patrick crept into the kitchen sheepishly and Justin offered them small smiles.

"Is everything okay?" Paul asked, taking sight of the blood and the glass.

"Yeah. . ." Justin said with uncertainty, "She just. . . fell." They exchanged looks before everything smiled sympathically at Stefani. She wanted them to stop, but she only looked down and fought back her tears.

"How about some tea?" Lynn offered, already walking toward the sink.

"I'll clean this up," Justin said, leaving her with the towel in her hands. Paul and Patrick stood around awkwardly before Patrick turned and jogged back upstairs. Paul stood by Stefani and watched as she held the towel in her trembling hands. He slowly walked towards her and took the towel, lying it down on the edge of the sink. His hands gently cupped hers as he twisted her hands upward and examined the cuts that were displayed sporadically on the skin of her palms and wrists.

"You fell?" he asked as slowly as possible, as if she wouldn't understand if he asked her normally. Stefani didn't respond. She yanked her hands away and raced out of the kitchen. Her fear of the dark disappeared momentarily as she jogged up the stairs and ran up the unlit hallway to the guest room she was suppose to be in. She locked and slammed the door shut before dropping to the floor and crying.

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"Do you really think she fell?" Paul asked Justin as he sat between Lynn and him. Justin nodded and looked back at her mother who's crumpled forehead made her worry quite evident.

"Of course she fell," Justin said, "I heard the glass fall and when I walked into the kitchen, she was crawling over it, scared to death that I was some manic."

"You didn't see her fall and you didn't see the glass fall either," Paul corrected, "You heard glass break and you found her on the floor."

"What are you trying to say?" Justin asked before turning to his mother again, "What is he trying to say?"

"Well. . . I think your father is trying to examine the possibility that maybe she. . . did this to herself."

"You have to be kidding me," Justin groaned, "She would never do that."

"The old Stefani would never do that," Paul said, "She's been through something that none of us can even begin to understand. She's not in the right frame of mind-"

"No, she would never cut herself, Dad," Justin impugned, "I know her."

"You knew her."

"Stop acting like she's gone," Justin snapped, "She's upstairs right now."

"She's depressed."

"Well, give her time and be there for her," Justin said, "Don't have secret meetings behind her back and call her suicidal." Justin stood from his spot on the couch on sighed as turned to skip up the steps. He haulted his actions when he was met by big, brown eyes welled up with tears.

"Good mornin'," Lynn said cheerfully, standing up from the couch. "Are you hungry?" Stefani swallowed the sob in her throat before turning around and running back upstairs. When the sound of her door slamming echoed throughout the house, Justin let go of the breath he had been holding and turned back to his parents with a scowl.

"Well, great going, people," he said sarcastically.

"Justin-" Paul began before being interrupted.

"That was definitely the last thing she needed," Justin told them, "I'm gonna go talk to her." He took quiet steps upstairs to the guest room next to his. He noticed the door was shut and gently pressed his ear to it. A soft whimper followed by a sniffle could be heard from where he stood and he was saddened by it.

Stefani wasn't much of a crier. She always dusted herself off when she fell and held her head high when she lost. In fact, she had told Justin once that she hated crying when he came over during the wake of her grandmother's funeral. Stefani confided in him that it made her feel weak, the worst feeling in the world according to Stefani.

Being the independent, strong-willed woman that she was made it clear as to why she hated to cry. She said it rusted up her reputation and made her eyes 'puff up like blowfish'.

Justin timidly turned the door knob and it crept open as he walked inside. "Steffy?" She didn't answer from the her spot on the bed. Her back was turned toward him as he shut the door behind him and walked over to her bed. "Stef?" he called again gently. She still didn't reply. He took a seat on the edge of her bed and she buried her face into her pillow. He heard the faintess sound of a voice and straid to hear it.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Go away," Stefani murmurred, "Go."

"I'm sorry," Justin said, ignoring her demand, "I'm sorry that you had to hear that. My dad. . . you know my Dad. He likes to overanalyze things. . ." She sniffled and he continued. "Look, I know you. I know you wouldn't do anything like that. . . No matter what happens, I know you're too good for that. . . But I want you to know that if you ever did feel like. . . doing that, come talk to me first so I can remind about how wonderful you are and how I can't live without you, okay?" She sniffled again, but didn't say a word. "Okay. . . I'll just take that as a yes then." He chuckled lightly. "Okay, Stef, I'm gonna shut up and leave now, but remember I'm right next door. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'll be there." He sat on the bed for a few more seconds before slowly rising and walking over to the door. He looked back over his shoulder one more time before finally making his way out the door.

Just as it was about to close, Stefani rolled onto her back and wiped her eyes. She took her hands and placed them in front of her face, taking a good look at the red scars that now decorated them.

"I hate this," she told him suddenly, "I hate myself. I just. . . I hate everything." Justin fought off his own tears as he watched her wallow in her pain, turning slightly on her back.

Justin backed his way into the room again. "Would you hate it if I hugged you?" he asked. Stefani stiffled.

"Yes," she replied, "I don't your pity, Justin." You already have it he wanted to say, but he didn't.

"It's not pity," he assured her, "It's my love." Stefani sat up slowly and wiped her tearing eyes. She found some form of comfort in words and inched toward him as he sat on the edge of her bed until she was finally settled into his welcoming arms. They sat in silence as he held her tightly and she held him with the same desperation. The fact of the matter was that she was grateful he had come upstairs. She didn't feel as lonely as she did before with his arms wrapped around her.

She was red again. Like she had been red every time she showered. She had promised herself she'd scrub less today, like she did every day, but she managed to sneak a brillo pad into the shower and couldn't help herself.

She had to get clean.

The dirt made her skin crawl. She felt his skin on her skin still. His breath on her ear. His hands. His warmth. It was seeping deeper into her skin and she had to wash it off and get it away. She didn't even mind the blood that flowed from her broken skin. It relieved her to know she had gotten that deep. It made her feel like she scrubbed hard enough. The burning even offered a distraction from the voices in her head. They told her mean things. They showed her terrible images. She didn't like them.

It had gotten worse the moment her parents came home and took her back to that house. The house with the rooms. She didn't expect them to move, but she had wished that maybe she could. That maybe they'd rebuild or redecorate to confuse her mind. But everything was exactly the same. They had changed the carpet and fixed the window, but nothing else had changed. She now slept in the living room indefinitely. She couldn't bare to go up the stairs unless it was to shower. She liked to shower. She liked to feel like she was getting clean.

Justin had called. He called twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night. He asked if she was okay. She'd mumbled no and then they'd both stay on the line for a while before he assured her that he loved her and that she could talk to him about anything.

But he was wrong. She couldn't talk about this. Not to him. Not to anybody.

It killed him. Justin wanted nothing but to comfort him like he had done in so many situations before. New boyfriend, he had her back. Test coming up, he was the study buddy. Couldn't make a lay up on the basketball court? He taught her and did the coolest jump shot she'd ever seen. College friends? He introduced her. Whatever it was, he had it in the bag and vice versa when he needed help.

But this shell of a woman needed more than jump shots and boyfriend advice. She was broken in a way that Justin's band aid's couldn't help her heal. He was trying though. He wanted her to know that he was there for here and that there was no place else he'd rather be than her side. He knew it would be hard. He didn't want to become impatient. He wanted to shake her from her coma and try and live life again with his best friend like old times.

"Honey..." Stefani closed her eyes and pulled the blanket up to her chest when her mother sat by her head and pet her hair down. "You hungry?"

"No," she said, like always, and her mother sighed.

"You need to eat, Stef," her mother gently scolded, "You haven't eaten in so long." Her mother's hands rested on her shoulder and Stefani discreetly shrugged them off as she rolled over on the sofa, facing it rather than the black television. Her mother sighed and Stefani squeezed her eyes shut; not wanting to cry again. She cried enough at night. Her eyes still burned from her previous tear fest and she wasn't in the mood to deal with the pity hugs and sympathy her family threw at her. Even Patrick hugged her. He never hugged her.

How sad was she now? Patrick used to laugh at her for frowning, let alone being in tears. Now she was so weak he couldn't laugh. He had to hug her because she was such a pathetic sight. She hated it so much, but she didn't know how to be strong.

The doorbell rang suddenly and Stefani's mother pulled herself up from the couch. Stefani didn't need to look to know her mother was tearing up. Her sniffles were evidence enough, but she cleared up the moment she opened the door.

"Hey, Mrs. Anderson." Justin. Stefani felt her insides recoiling even more than usual at the sound of his voice and as her mother invited him inside, she buried herself into the corner of the couch.

"Stefani," her mother called out and she sighed. "Justin's here." She felt the couch cushion sink by her curled up legs and knew he'd taken a seat. She heard her mother's moving feet against the wooden floors as she walked out of the room. There was silence for a long while afterward. Justin sat back and Stefani opened her eyes and stared at the dark green suede of her family's sofa. Her scent soon met her nose and it was just bordering the strong line. He never quite got that cologne thing down, but had gotten better over the years. She used to smell him before she saw him; that's what she used to say to make him mad. They laughed a million times over it though.

She hadn't laughed in so long.

"I got accepted to Hanford," Justin said quietly and her interest peaked a little. "They gave me a scholarship." Justin was a lot more excited than he was letting on. Stefani and him always wanted to go to school together, but he had been unsure of what to major in, so opted to go to community instead of going to Hanford with her. At the end of his sophomore year, Justin decided that Hanford University was where he wanted to spend his last two college years; sports medicine his major and Stefani Anderson his personal tour guide.

It didn't seem like much of that was going to happen now. Stefani didn't even think about school. She didn't really think at all. It was a lot less painful to have a blank mind than one with racing thoughts.

"That's good," she managed to mumble from her depths within the couch.

"Thanks," Justin said before clearing his throat. "Pat said you weren't eating." Her brows raised up as she turned a little to crane her neck and look at him.

"Patrick?" she asked and he nodded in confirmation before she turned back around and nuzzled her face into the crook of the sofa.

"You gotta eat, Steffy," Justin told her gently, "Even if you don't feel hungry, you gotta get somethin' in your stomach." She wasn't stupid. She knew she had to eat, but her stomach churned so deeply when she opened her mouth and his face would appear. She couldn't. She couldn't eat.

"Justin..." Her voice was shaking and her tear ducts were overflowing with moisture. She didn't even feel the warning signs of crying. The tears were suddenly there as she shook in her corner of the couch. Justin was hovering above her suddenly, rubbing her back and whispering it was okay and that he loved her dearly. She believed his love, but she didn't believe it was okay. It would never be okay.

"Steffy, I'm so sorry," he apologized, overwhelmed with sadness, almost to the brink of tears. He didn't know who this woman was below him, sobbing as her mother stood at the entrance of living room, crying silently herself. This house had so much sadness where laughter and happiness had once been.

Stefani felt like she was suffocating and she gently pushed him away, needing to sit up and feel the cool air against her skin. She got just that when he moved away and helped her into a sitting position. She gasped and tried to regain her proper breathing pattern.

"I'll get you some water," she heard her mother say before she disappeared into the kitchen. Justin's hand was on the back of Stefani's neck as she leaned back against the sofa. It was warm, but clammy and Stefani was uncomfortable, so she rolled over and rested her face in the crook of his neck and freed his arm, which wrapped over her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. She was hiccuping and sniffling, but she balled up against him and he stroked her head with his cheek and kissed her exposed forehead.

"You'll be fine," he whispered, "You're so strong... You'll get through all this bullshit, I swear." Stefani nodded despite her doubts and found a bit of comfort in his words. Justin was always good with words.

She wondered, for a moment, if she should mention that she was feeling so much need for distraction. That the words that flowed through her mind told her to scrub hard and break skin; it was the only way to know she had cleaned right. She had to see blood.

But she knew that even through his warm embrace and comforting words, Justin didn't know what to do already. She could practically see the look of shock and uneasiness that would take over his baby face as she told him about the voices in her head, begging for blood. His family had long determined she was suicidal the night they found her on the floor in the kitchen, shards of glass everywhere and her bleeding in the center of it all. She didn't need to say anything to further prove their theory right.

Stefani wasn't stupid, she already knew she sounded crazy. She didn't feel crazy. Maybe she had a right to be crazy, but nothing snapped in her. Nothing felt off. She didn't have hallucinations. Just terrible memories and desperate need to cleanse her flithy body.

"Here you go," Stefani's mother said gently as she placed the glass of cool water on the table top, not bothering to use a coaster like she demanded for all of Stefani's life. Her eyes were red and puffy, a sure sign of tears, and as Stefani peeled herself from Justin and stared at the ring of water forming at the bottle of the cup, she knew her mother was on the brink of insanity.

"Thanks, Mom," she said softly and her mother nodded and crept from the room. Stefani didn't remove her eyes from the dripping condensation of her glass. Her throat was dry, but she couldn't lift the cup. All she did was stare and remembered all the times when a coaster-less cup was her mother's biggest issue. Now, she probably didn't remember what she made such a big fuss over it every time Stefani forget to coaster up. Now she probably regretted every time she raised her voice at Stefani. She regretted every negative moment she had with her daughter.

As if yelling less would've stopped her rape.

Stefani sighed; she knew her mother too well sometimes. She wish she didn't.

"Aren't you thirsty?" Justin asked, already lifting the cup to her lips before she could answer. Stefani rested her hands near his on the glass as he tilted it slightly on to her parted lips, allowing the cool, clear liquid to coat her dry throat. She drank the entire cup in one big gulp and Justin smiled approvingly.

"Thanks..." Stefani said, embarrassed that now she had to be practically spoon fed in her feeble state of mind.

"Sure," Justin told her before adding, "All that water must've made you hungry." Justin was good with words, but subtly wasn't a specialty of his.

"No," Stefani declined, already curling back into her secluded ball. "No food."

"You're losing weight," Justin stated sadly as he gently rested his hand on her arm and rubbed it. Stefani closed her eyes in content as the warmth of his motions ran through her limb and made her shudder.

"No, I'm not," she argued, although she knew she had. She could probably count all of her ribs right now.

"I'm gonna make you a sandwich." Justin got up and went to the kitchen. Stefani didn't bother stopping him. She didn't feel like wasting energy on arguments she'd lose. If he wanted to waste his time making a sandwich she'd never eat, she'd let him. He had already been warned.

It didn't take long for the whispering to start. The muddled voices came from the kitchen. Justin was conversing with her family. She was sure because it happened every other day. There was always whispering from her parents' room. Patrick was always whispering on the phone when somebody called. Her mom whispered to the neighbors and her dad whispered loving words and threats against her rapist at night when he thought she was asleep.

All this whispering and she heard it all.

It hurt. Not so much the words. She was sure it was worry and plots to get her to eat only, but the pain came from the fact that even words were too much for the failed superwoman. She was half the person, if not less, she used to be and her family and friends all decided that she couldn't handle the pressure of dealing with herself. She couldn't handle talks about eating or improvement (rather, a lack thereof). She couldn't hear about all the police investigations or rewards put out for information on her attackers.

Her friends, like Keshon, called once a week now. Just a two minute conversation with whoever answered. Nobody ever wanted to say much to her. Stefani never said much back, but when it was time to speak to another one of her family members, her friends babbled on and listened with the most alertness.

She'd become a freak whose only social interactions were acts of kindness and pity and unwritten promises to not turn away from a friend in a time of need, even if the friend was a stump, unmoving and undead.

"Peanut butter, bananas, and maple syrup on toasted bread," Justin boasted proudly as he walked around the couch and plopped down beside Stefani's still form. It was her absolute favorite sandwich. Nothing was better than warm, melted peanut butter smoothering banana slices with maple syrup adding a bit more sweetness. Her stomach growled.

"What kind of bread?" Stefani asked quietly. She didn't want to seem eager. She wasn't sure if she was ready to indulge just yet.

"Potato, duh." Justin joked to lighten the mood, but Stefani could only focus on the sweet memories of carefree days full of banana sandwiches.

"Hmm..." She turned to face him as his long body perched on the edge of the seat. The space she left available was limited with her body covered in blankets, but he smiled and looked comfortable.

"I got you a glass of cold milk too," he said gently now, still smiling, but not pressuring so much she'd deny him. "Just a little bite, Steffy." His eyes were pleading and she could feel her hunger start to take its nature course. Feel hungry, eat food. "Just an itsy witsy, teeny weeny bite." He continued to egg her on. She looked up at his playful eyes and though they were darkened with sadness, they held the warm glow they always did.

"Just a little bite," she finally broke down as Justin smiled brightly, picking up a piece of the sandwich. It was triangular because he cut it that way for her. She always liked the trianges. She took a little bit at the end, the bread crumbling and crunching in her mouth and the squishy banana/peanut butter/syrup combination blending in a delicious array of flavors. Her mouth water and her stomach was grateful. She was so hungry now that she sat up and grabbed the plate. Justin jumped up and moved to sit beside her, laughing lightly.

"Good?" he asked and she nodded, finishing her first half, glupping down milk, and picking up the other piece of sandwich. Justin watched in awe as she devoured her meal, finishing off her milk before placing the plate and glass on top of each other. They both waited a moment, but she didn't look sick and Stefani didn't feel sick.

"Thank you," she said, once she was feeling fine. "It was good."

"I can see that," Justin joked, smiling as the corners of her mouth moved upward. It wasn't quite a smile and he was sure it didn't reach her eyes, but it was enough for now. "Do you want another?" She thought for a moment. She was definitely still hungry.

"Okay." Her words were soft, but Justin caught them and nodded.

"I'll be right back." He swiftly walked back in the dirfection of the kitchen. Stefani watched his retreating form. Her hand rested on her stomach and she felt fine. Nothing was on her mind, even now, except for that banana sandwich and another glass of milk.

Stefani couldn't believe she ate. Justin had suckered her in with big, blue eyes and sweet-toned words. She almost smiled. He was too sweet sometimes. She wondered what she'd ever do without him.