They say that ignorance is bliss but in this case I would like to strongly disagree. If I hadn’t been so blind I could have seen the best thing for me was right in front of my face! I knew that night after we made love that I wanted to be with her. I guess the problem was I didn’t really think she felt the same way. It was just a bad night for the both of us and it just looked as though we found comfort in each other’s arms. Maybe I was wrong though. Maybe if I had taken the time to find out she would be with me right now. I get snapped out of my thoughts by a knock on the door.

“Justin man are you almost ready? The car is here to pick us up!”

I turn towards the door and open it. “Yea sorry I’m ready.”

As I walk down the stairs I see Veronica sitting on the couch waiting for us to come down. She and I have been together for about a year and a half now. She’s great, a wonderful girl and beautiful, but I think I realized about 3 months into the relationship that I was just using her as an out. A way to escape how I was feeling and whom I really wanted to be with.

“And they say woman take for ever getting ready!” Veronica jokes.

I put on my cover up face so she doesn’t see anything wrong. “Yea well you know perfection takes time!”

“What ever, we better hurry up before we are late and then your little sister is gonna kill you and Trace!” Veronica states while heading for the door.

“You know the bad part about that is that Roni is right Na is gonna kick our ass if we’re late.” Trace laughed as he and his girlfriend Byrne headed out to the car.

I looked around the house to make sure everything was ok before I walked out the house. I set the alarm and proceeded to the car. I wasn’t even sure why I agreed to go. I didn’t want to see them there. Even though she is my best friend I don’t want to walk in the club and see him where I am suppose to be.

“Justin are you gonna stand there all night or are you gonna get in the car?” Veronica asked.

I snapped out of my daze. “What? Oh yea sorry.”

I get in the car thinking what have I gotten my self into?

***************************************************************************

“So who exactly is throwing this party for you?” He asked me while I put the finishing touches on my make-up.

“I told you already Misty is. Why are you acting so strange tonight?” I ask with a slight chuckle in my voice.

“Nothing is wrong with me I just wanna know who is throwing my girl a party.”

“That’s not it. You just wanna make sure it’s not something Justin is putting together.” I laugh.

“Why are you laughing? I don’t think anything I said was funny and one of the things I didn’t say was if I was making sure Justin wasn’t putting this party together.” He huffs.

I finish my make up and close the compact mirror and just look at Devon. He is so cute when he gets jealous. I don’t even know why he is so up tight about it. Justin and I aren’t even as close as we use to be. Yea we have the occasional outing or hanging at the others house. But out of respect for the significant others we gave back house keys, even Trace gave me back the key. I’m not saying that I am neglecting my friends it’s just that a lot has changed in the past year. I have a boyfriend who is crazy about me and vice versa.

We’re headed to North it’s a really hot club in West Hollywood. My best friend Misty is throwing me a party because of my big promotion at work. She is the only female that I can call a real true friend. I mean I get along with Trace’s girl but we’re not tight like that. I grew up with Justin and Trace and come on do you really think I would be all best buddy with Justin’s girlfriend? No I don’t think so.

“Is he gonna be there at all?” Devon asks breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Yes I’m sure he will be. Misty told me she invited him and Trace. But quit acting like that. I’m sure Veronica will be on his arm.” I say even though I really wish she wouldn’t be.

Devon makes a loud huffing noise as we pull into the parking lot of the club. To say that tonight is going to be interesting is in my opinion the understatement of the year.

I walked into the club with the full knowledge that Anais would be there soon. If she wasn't already!  I can’t even believe I let Misty talk me into coming here tonight. Actually she didn’t have to do a lot. She just said hey I’m throwing a party for our girl and you and Trace gotta be there. I’m gonna be honest here. I’m not all that crazy about Devon. He acts like he is the shit (which by the way he is not). I don’t even see what Anais sees in him! At any rate we’re here and I can’t very well back out now so I follow everybody into the club. Misty is standing right by the entrance greeting people.

“J I’m so glad you made it!” She gushes. I love Misty she’s a really cool girl.

“Yea wouldn’t miss a party for our girl. Besides she deserves it. I think it’s about time they gave her a promotion.” I say while hugging her.

“Yea I agree. Well you guys go get started parting. It’s free drinks and food so go have a ball.” She says all happy.

“Hey Misty has the guest of honor arrived yet?” I ask cuz I don’t wanna get bitched out.

“No not yet. Don’t worry she won’t kill you. When she gets here you’ll know. They are gonna announce it. She gets pimp treatment tonight.” Misty laughs.

I laugh as well “Ok thanks Mist.”

I walk into the club and spot Trace, Bryne, and Veronica sitting at a table not to far from the bar. I’m looking around the club just waiting on her to walk in. I haven’t seen her in almost a month. Between her being busy with work and me being in the studio we’ve only been able to talk on the phone for a few minutes at a time. Still I miss her so much.

“Hey J you want a drink man?” Trace breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Yea man. Thanks.” 

I need to stop zoning out like that or Veronica will notice.

***************************************************************************

So I finally get Devon’s silly self into the club and I can already tell he is trying to spot Justin. This whole thing with him and Justin is getting on my nerves. I don’t want to get to the point where I start sneaking around to see Justin. I miss hanging out with him it’s just been kinda lonely with out my boys around. I finally spot Misty and go over to her.

“Hey sexy Lesbian!” I say as I tap her on the shoulder.

“What’s up hot Lesbian?" We giggle to each other as we hug. (I know we have a sick sense of humor.)

“Ok so just about everybody is here so why don’t I let the DJ know you’re here so we can really get this party started!” Misty says as she walks to the DJ booth.

I turn to Devon who is talking to a couple of my co-workers.

“So are you gonna be on my arm when I walk in or what?” I say jokingly

“Do you even have to ask me that?” He flashes me a smile and we walk towards the entrance to the dance floor.

Just as we get to the door, I hear the DJ come over the loud speaker.

“Here she is the woman you’ve been waiting for and who we are here to honor! Anais Taylor!”

Everybody started clapping and cheering as we entered the room. It was rather funny cuz the DJ decided to play “Bad Girl” by Usher (Much to Misty’s bargaining I bet.). I looked out the corner of my eye to spot Devon with a smile a mile wide. I get the feeling it’s only cuz he has spotted Justin. We make our way over to the booth that’s on the stage. I lean over to Devon and ask him to go get me drink.

“So my lover you like the scene?” Misty asked as she sat down next to me.

“Yea I so love it babe. Thank you for everything.” I reach over and give her a hug.

“You know you don’t have to thank me! I’m just glad they finally put you in charge of wardrobe. You are great at putting together killer styles.” Misty gushes.

“Aww thank you hun.”

“You know Justin’s here.”

I smile at her. She wants Justin and I to be together and have little Timberlake babies. Cuz in the words of Misty, “You guys would make hella cute babies”. I know she adores Justin and I together but I really wish she would stop trying to get us together. It’s been over a year.

“I know he’s here. I could tell by how Devon looked when we came in.” I laugh.

Devon walks over to us and hands me my Chocolate Martini. He takes a set next  to me while Misty and I continue talking. Nothing-important just random stuff. In my head all I can think is please let things stay like this.

***************************************************************************

The only thing that I can say is damn! She looks so sexy in that outfit. Anais always knows how to pull off that look that is just oh so sexy. The look that makes every guy in the room have their eyes on her. The one that makes her look so classy and not like some video hoe.

“Justin baby do you wanna dance?” Veronica breaks my thoughts

“Sure baby girl lets go out there and show them how to move.

As we move to the dance floor I look on the stage and notice Anais and Misty laughing and giggling with each other. God how I wish I was up there with them. Honestly I miss being around my girl. I see Anais and Misty get up and head towards the dance floor. They make there way onto the dance floor not to far away from where Veronica and I are dancing. “Sugar (Gimme some)” By Trick Daddy is playing. I’m thinking boy would I love some sugar and so much more from My Snuggle Bear. After a few more songs I decided I’m gonna get up the nerve to ask Anais to dance with me, and then the perfect song comes on.

I took your picture, with one particular reason and it’s to capture your character,

I like to sit and stare at 'cha

Ain't nothin wrong with starin at cha

Girl don't be scared at the fact that I envision us getting married and I ain't tryin to rush nuttin

I excuse my self from Veronica and the rest of the people at our table, and make my way over to Misty and Anais dancing.

“May I cut in?” I ask Misty.

“Sure sexy!” She winks at me and moves to dance with this guy eyeing her.

Cuz I ain’t rushin

It'll take a time like, "what’s them things that move slow you know them...damn.. I can’t think cuz you on my mind..."

 And when you on my mind I can’t find anything to rhyme with rhyme

“Congrats on the promotion.” I say

“Thanks, I’m really glad you came tonight.”

I smile at her and keep dancing. She is so close to me and yet I wish I could get her closer. I feel Devon’s eyes on us and I know that I should cherish the moment I have with her cuz I may not get another one tonight. So I let the music take me away. Wishing that I could take her home with me and do all the things the song is saying.

Girl you really got me going

Outta control

I dot know what I’m doin

Lets let it go

And do what we do best

Take off our clothes

We look better undressed

Lets get sexy

Lets get sexy

Sounds so good

Sounds so good

Fightin' is rightin'

Fightin' is rightin'

Lets get sexy

Its so much more exciting

Song Lyrics: Sexy By: The Black Eyed Peas

I don’t know what bothered me more the other night. The fact that after that rather sexy dance with Justin, Devon was glued to my side for the rest of the night or the fact that I wanted to have Justin right then and there once the dance was over! I also don’t doubt that our little dance had a slight affect on Veronica. She has been nothing but nice to me since her and Justin got together but I get the feeling that she is sensing something is there between me and J. Not that either one of us are cheating but you know what I mean.

I’m trying really hard to concentrate on the fact that I am suppose to be picking out outfits for Ashlee Simpson to wear for her photo shoot later this week. I hate when these kinds of things consume my thoughts and I can’t think straight. After a few minutes there is a knock on my office door.

“Come in.” I yell.

“Hey Na. How is my favorite new wardrobe stylist?” Trace smirks while taking a set in front of me.

“I would be so much better if I could actually concentrate on my job!”

“What’s wrong?” Trace asks with a frown. Showing his concern.

“It’s nothing really just have some stuff on my mind.” I answer.

“Well grab your purse and we can talk about it over lunch.”

Leave it to Trace to want to make things all better for me. But I highly doubt he can.

**************************************************************************

Boy was Devon pissed at me the rest of the night. He was glaring at me and giving me the death eye for the rest of the night. Honestly I don’t care though. However I do care that after that dance Veronica did have an attitude with me for the rest of the night. I guess I can’t blame her I mean I didn’t even attempt to pull her as close to me as I had Anais. I care about Veronica very much but I’m not in love with her the way I am with Anais.

Yeah I know you’re thinking well if that’s how you feel why don’t you just call it quits between the two of you? Well I guess I’m just afraid of being alone again. I know Veronica loves me and I love the fact that she is there. I can reach out and hold her in the middle of the night. When I know the person I really want can’t be there.

“No guy’s afternoon out for you and Trace today?” Veronica asks coming out the kitchen.

“Nah. He said he had some runs to make. Besides I would rather have lunch with my girl today. So where would you like to go eat or did you make other plans already?”

“Nope I’m free as a bird for the day.” She smiles at me.

“You got a taste for anything particular?” I ask

“Ooh yea lets go to White Louts.” She says while standing up.

“Well White Louts it is.” I say while I get my keys.

I lock up thinking to myself, Timberlake you need to stop worrying so much about what you could have had and focus on what you do have.

***************************************************************************

After Trace and I are seated we settle into a nice little conversation, but I know all the big stuff is yet to come.

“So how are things with you and Byrne?” I ask

“There okay. I think things are starting to cool down between us dramatically.”

“You think it’s coming around to that ending the relationship period?” I ask while taking a sip of water.

“I don’t know. I mean I still love her so much. I’m not sure of much when it comes to us.” He admits.

“It can get like that some times.” I say

“So enough about me what’s going on with you? Nobody has talked to you since your party.”

“I know Tray. I just seem to never have time for anything other than work.”  I laughed.

As Trace and I were talking I spotted a very familiar face. Thinking to myself I really don’t need this right now, but before I could do anything about it he was at our table.

“Business meeting today Anais?” Kyle asked me with an over exaggeration of my name.

“Not that it’s any of your business but no. I’m just having lunch with a friend.” I mange to get out through gritted teeth.

“Well fortunately for you I don’t have a meeting as well and I could join you.” He smiles while flagging down the waiter to ask for a chair and a menu.

Trace is giving him this look like what the fuck! I’m even overlay glad that Justin isn’t here cuz this would be very bad. Kyle is Devon’s best friend. (Even though I can’t figure out why for the life of me.) Kyle very much doesn’t approve of my relationship with Justin or Trace, which if you ask me is none of his business. I think he really believes that there is something going on with us. I also believe he is whispering in Devon’s ear to make him think the same. I look over at Trace who I can tell is about to say something, but I quickly intervene.

“Kyle. Trace and I were having a private conversion so why don’t you just go ahead with your first plan and have lunch alone.” I say as calmly as possible.

“What is really so personal that friends can’t discusses in front of each other?” He prods.

“Well if you were our friend then maybe we wouldn’t have such a problem with talking in front of you, but because we’re not why don’t you just do as asked?” Trace huffs.

Oh I can tell this isn’t going over well. I bet you can tell I can’t stand Kyle. I don’t want them to cause a scene so I jump up and get in between the two who quickly look as if they are about to come to blows.

“Listen this is not the place to be having this type of scene. Kyle would you please leave us alone and let me and my friend talk!” I say as calmly as I can.

“Fine Anais, but does Devon know you are out having rendezvous lunches with him?” He asks as he eyes us both and walks off.

“What the fuck does he mean does Devon know?” Trace asks

I can see the anger building up inside Trace and I really don’t want him to make things worse so I calm him down. The rest of the lunch was spent with Trace and Kyle giving each other the evil eye. By the time I got back to my office I was actually ready to go home. Walking to my office I think to myself can things get any worse? I open the door and to my surprise Devon is sitting in my office waiting for me.

“I hear you had lunch with Trace? What’s going on Babe?” Devon asks

All I can think is apparently they do!

“Fuck! Oh Justin that feels so good! Please don’t stop! Oh I love you so much!” She screams.

“I love you too Anais!” I say

“Who the fuck did you just call me?” Veronica yells

I stop my movement. How the hell can I possibly talk my way out of this? I can’t believe I just broke the number one rule during sex. You never ever call out someone elses name. You would be better off not saying anything at all! But my dumb ass got so caught up in the moment and was thinking about Veronica being Anais instead of focusing on the fact that it was Veronica.

“JUSTIN RANDELL TIMBERLAKE! DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME ANAIS?” Veronica screams.

“Veronica it’s not what you think.” I try to explain but she is already getting out the bed.

“I knew you were fucking her! I knew it! How long Justin?” She asks. Her hands crossed over her chest.

“Veronica I am not fucking Anais. Honestly I’m not.” I sigh

I already have a feeling I know what’s coming. I knew I was gonna get into this conversation with her eventually. I damn sure didn’t want it to come like this though. I can’t believe I fucked up this bad! But I guess I should have told her when I knew I was having feelings for Anais. I shouldn’t have gotten this deep in with Veronica.

“You just called me by that bitches name and you want me to believe you’re not fucking her!!”

As bad as I am feeling for what I have just done my anger is starting to boil over. I never let anybody including Britney call Anais a bitch! I take a deep breath cuz I don’t wanna get into a yelling match with Veronica.

“Look Roni I’m sorry about what just happen but let’s get something straight right now! Anais is not now nor has she ever been a bitch. I don’t appreciate you calling her out her name cuz I would never let her do that to you.”

“You’re fucking some other girl and you call me by her name but you want me to be all nice about what the hell I call her!”

“For the second time Veronica I am not fucking Anais! Yes I just called you by her name and like I said I’m sorry but I’m not gonna listen to this shit.” I start grabbing my clothes and putting them on.

“Oh you’re fucking kidding me! You call out another woman’s name while were having sex and you wanna get mad and leave? This is some shit Justin.” Veronica yells while grabbing her robe and going into the bathroom.

I don’t even have the energy to argue with her anymore. I know I was the one to fuck up the mood and possibly my relationship but a part of me doesn’t even care anymore. I’m tired of lying to Veronica. I head out to my car and pull out my cell as I’m getting in. I start up the car and dial those familiar numbers.

“Yo man you busy tonight?” I ask as I pull out of Veronica’s driveway.

*************************************************************************

This is the 4th time this week Devon and I have had an argument and for the life of me I can’t figure out what’s going on with us. He threw a fit with me cuz I’m going out with Misty tonight and it’s a girl’s night out. I’m not even dressed real sexy. (Well not as sexy as I could be) So I think I need a break from him which is why I am gonna hang out at Misty’s house for the weekend. I pull up to her house and get out to drop my things off.

“Hey you!” She says as she opens the door for me.

“Hey Mist.” I already know I sound dead.

“Are things that bad babe?”

“I don’t even know what the hell is up his ass? At first I thought it was kinda cute he was a little jealous of Justin and Trace but things have gotten way outta hand. He has Kyle following me and that shit isn’t cool.” I say as I plop down on her couch.

“Wait when was Kyle following you?”

“A few days ago Trace asked me out to lunch and Kyle came in and saw me and Trace and I have no doubt that as soon as he went to his table he called Devon cuz by the time I got back to my office Devon was there!”

“Oh no this bullshit has got to stop. I could understand if you and Justin or even you and Trace were spending a whole shit load of time together. Then there would be cause to be suspicion, but damn you barley hang with Justin and Trace like you use to. Sorry hun but I feel like you gave up a lot for Devon!”

I sigh cuz I feel as though Misty is slightly right. I did give up hanging out with my boys for Devon. Misty went to finish putting on her make up when my cell rang.

“Hey Tray what’s going on?” I say into the phone.

“You busy tonight?”

“Going out with Misty and then probably come back and do the girly thing. Why what’s up?”

“No Devon at all tonight?” Trace asked with a hint of disgust.

“No Trace it’s just me and Mist. What’s going on Trace?”

“Well Justin needs a night out with his friends so I was just hoping you could get away.”

“Let me check with Misty.” I say while heading to the bathroom to ask Misty.

“She’s good with it we’ll met you guys at the club in a little while.” I hang up and Misty and I head out.

**************************************************************************

When I got to Trace he filled me in on the fact that he invited Anais and Misty. Oh boy I wish I would have told him what happened before he did that. So on the ride over to the club I fill him in on what happened with me and Veronica. Trace being who he is laid into me.

“You did what? How could you fix your lips to do that?” Trace asked in disbelief

“Dude it just came out. I didn’t mean for it to get that far!”

“Anais shit must be good for you to forget that it was Veronica you were with.” Trace laughs

“Shut the fuck up you little fucker!” I shove him a little in his set.

We pull up to the club a few minutes later. I see Misty and Anais standing out side waiting on us to get there. When we get over to them I feel my heart beat speed up. Damn she looks so good tonight.

“So what’s up with you fine ladies?” Trace says in that wanna be player voice.

“Trace give up trying to be a Mack.” Anais says while laughing at him.

“I agree with Ms. Taylor.” Misty giggles.

Both girls give us hugs and we head into the club. At least for tonight I can be with the woman I love and not worry about the evil eye from her man or Veronica being a little over clingy. Tonight it’s me and my friends.

You know that stage of sleep you’re in where you aren’t sure if you’re awake or still dreaming? Well that’s where I am right now. I mean I feel this calmness all over my body. (And I know it’s not all the alcohol I consumed last night) It’s the feeling I get when I’m sleeping with Justin. While I am laying here pondering this I hear a phone ring and I can’t tell who’s it is and honestly I’m not gonna try and find out. However I feel the bed shift and I hear the sound of a button being pushed and my dream question answered with that sexy sleepy voice I have come to love.

“Hello?” I hear Justin say

“Who the fuck is this?”

“You called my phone and you wanna ask who I am? Dude it’s to early for the bullshit!”

“I called my girlfriends phone!” I hear the person yell.

It suddenly occurs to me that maybe just maybe Justin picked up my phone and so this causes a panic inside me and I quickly reach for the phone. I know Justin is just as confused as I am but we can talk about that later.

“Devon?” I ask almost afraid to find out it’s him.

“Why the fuck is another guy answering your phone?” He growls.

“He thought it was his cell phone.”

I feel Justin’s eyes on me and then after a minute I feel the bed shift as he lies down.

“Who the hell is he?” Devon’s voice is growing louder and louder.

“Justin.” I say already knowing where this is gonna go but seeing no reason to lie about it.

“Oh I get it. We have a fight and you run out to be with Justin. Like I said you were just looking for a reason to run to him weren’t you?”

I flip the cover back and get out the bed cuz I already feel myself getting heated.

“Look Devon I’m not gonna go asking your permission every time I wanna hang out with Justin or Trace. Justin needed a friend last night so I was there. I’m not gonna stay on the phone and argue with you about it!”

***************************************************************************

I love it when she gets upset and starts snapping on people. I think it’s so sexy. Even when she’s mad at me I can’t help but get a little turned on. However it’s like double time now cuz she got out of the bed and I can see her body. She has on some of those cute lacey tangy things from Victoria Secret. Although I call them boy short things. She also has on a matching bra that’s lacey too, and on top of everything they are baby blue. I watch her walking around the bedroom yelling on the phone at Devon. Really I wasn’t trying to start anything I honestly thought it was my phone. I notice she shuts her phone and lets out a frustrated growl.

“I’m sorry Snuggs. I didn’t mean to start a fight with you and Devon.” I say.

“It’s not your fault J. Devon and I have some issues we need to work out. Sorry we disturbed your sleep.”

I pull her down next to me and give her a big hug. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

Suddenly there is a knock on the door and Anais yells for who ever it is to come in.

“Hey guys, I heard a little commotion in here is everything ok?” Misty asks.

“Yea everything is fine. Just dealing with Devon and his jealous ways.” Anais answers and they both share a laugh.

“Well Trace and I were thinking we should all get dressed and head out to eat some where.”

I groan at the sound of going out to eat.

“What’s the matter J?” Misty asks me

“I kinda don’t feel like dealing with people today ya know? I just wanna relax and chill with my friends.”

“Well then why don’t we go eat at Chi? I mean that way we can have a private room or something and then come back here and chill. I mean if it’s okay with you Misty? Anais suggested.

“Well I don’t mind as long as it’s ok with you J.” Misty answers while they both look at me.

“Sounds like a plan. Lets get moving ladies.” I say.

We all start buss ling around the house getting ready to go and I think to myself this could be a really great weekend.

***************************************************************************

I’m bad and I know I am. I’m sitting next to Justin but I have my head on his shoulder and my arm linked with his and he’s feeding me apple spring rolls. We are seriously acting like a couple and if it wasn’t for the fact that this was Justin’s restaurant I know the pictures of us like this would be splashed all over the front of Us Weekly. It’s almost like everyone here has decided to date someone else for the weekend. (Except for Misty who is unattached) Trace is getting along quit well with Mist though.

“So what’s next on our agenda?” Trace asks.

“I know I know! We should go rent some movies and get some liquor and have a house party at my house!” Misty says just a little to fast.

Justin and I start cracking up. “Misty are you trying to get people drunk?” I ask

“Why would I ever go and do a thing like that?” She says trying to look all innocent

I roll my eyes at her. I know she’s up to something, I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.

“I’m game for it. If it keeps me away from Veronica a little longer I’m all for it.” Justin replies.

“Speaking of Veronica. Exactly what did happen between you and her last night to drive you into a night out with your real friends?” Misty giggles.

Trace shakes his head and I can tell it must be something big. I think normally I would be a little hurt that he told Trace and has yet to share with me but then again under the circumstances I can’t be all that upset. Justin and I don’t talk like we use to. He doesn’t even know that I’ve been having fights with Devon. Although I don’t doubt that Trace told him about what happened when he and I went to lunch.

“It’s not really important. We just had a little bit of a disagreement and that’s all.”

“Yea well if you ask me it was one hell of a disagreement!” Trace said.

“Well that’s why nobody asked you!” Justin glared at Trace.

“OOH it’s juicy. I really wanna know now!” Misty gushes.

Trace leans over and whispers something in her ear and I leave it at that. I know when Justin gets those faces he really wants things to be left alone. We start to gather our things and head out to our car. Once again I know that tonight is going to be an interesting one to say the least.

It’s funny drinking with Trace, Misty and Anais. I think it’s mostly cuz Misty and Anais can usually out drink Trace and I. I use to wonder if the two of them use to have shots of Tequila in their milk when they were babies. Seriously though we’re playing questions and Trace just seems to be getting stumped the most, it’s hilarious. I think my only problem with this whole set up is the fact that Anais has on these really sexy pajamas. Then again I think she looks sexy in everything so yeah I know I’m just getting my self deeper in trouble. Misty decides that since Trace is getting punk’d by playing questions we should just talk or something.

“Well Mist you can start off whatever conversation you would like I’m going to go make me another drink”. Anais says while heading into the kitchen.

“Mind if I join you in the kitchen?” I ask.

“Nope don’t mind at all. You guys want anything while I’m in there?”

“I don’t think Trace needs anymore to drink but I would like whatever you’re going to make you!” Misty exclaims.

Anais laughs. “Ok, but I really think Trace will feel left out.”

“I no drunnkkkkkk yet.” Trace slurs.

“Yea sure your not.” Misty says with a mock tone.

Anais and I head into the kitchen shaking our heads about Trace. I watch her move around the kitchen gathering things to make some drink that I’m not really sure about.

“What ya getting ready to make?” I ask

“Chocolate Martini. They can be a girls best friend.” She laughed.

“I thought woman only turned to chocolate when their significant other won’t give it up?” I laughed.

“This is true, but we do like chocolate any other time.”

We’re both silent for a moment. Then I hear my cell phone go off in the other room. After a second Misty brings me my phone and I see that Veronica is calling me. I’m not ready to talk to her yet, but I know if I ignore her call it might not go over very well. So I swallow whatever hesitation I have about the situation and answer the phone.

“Hello?” I say trying not to sound annoyed.

“I just love how you say another woman’s name during sex, walk out and then don’t call for the whole day! It’s really sweet of you to do that J!” She says although it sounds like it’s through gritted teeth.

“Look I just thought we needed some time to cool off. I know I pissed you off to high hell so I just thought I should give you a few days.” I offer as a way to keep her from bitching anymore.

“You know what Justin maybe you’re right. We need some cool off time. I think we should see other people for a while.” She says

I pull the phone back from my ear and look at it. My main reason for the action was because she doesn’t sound pissed about it. She sounds like she genuinely means it. I’m wondering in the back of my mind is this some kind of mind game or is she serious?

“What do you mean you think we should see other people?” I ask

“Look Justin it’s plan to see that you have some kind of feelings for Anais so when you figure out what they are then call me and let me know.” Veronica stated kind of glumly and with that hung up.

Once again I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it dumb founded. I can’t believe that just happened. I never meant for Veronica to get hurt. She’s a great girl and she deserves so much more than I give her. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe it’s good we are gonna see other people. It will give her the chance to find somebody who she deserves and deserves her back cuz I sure as hell don’t. Suddenly I hear a sweet voice break my thoughts.

“Is everything ok J?” I look up at Anais when she speaks.

“Yea, I mean I guess so. I think Veronica and I just broke up” I say still a little stunned.

“What? Why?” She asks just as surprised.

“She feels as though we need some time apart to work through how we feel for each other.” I say, not really wanting to offer anything more.

“Well do you love her?” Anais asks.

“Yea I do, but that’s just it. She’s in love with me and I don’t think that’s the kind of love I have for her.” I answer

“Ah I see. Well maybe you should just be straight up with her and let her know that’s how you feel. I mean don’t let her think that if you guys take a break everything will be better later. Be honest with her J.” She says and I know she is being sincere.

I think the problem with being honest is that with the honesty that I give Veronica I need to give Anais the same honesty. But I can’t be that honest with her right now. I mean just because she and Devon are having a moment doesn’t mean that I should try and come between them or even further more it could really hurt my friendship with Anais because there is a good chance that she doesn’t feel that way about me. Oh I’m so torn I don’t know what to do.

I shouldn’t be happy that he and Veronica are breaking up. Hello Anais you have a boyfriend!! Even though things are bad between you guys right now does not mean that you can’t work through them. I love Devon I do. But I guess I feel like Justin, I’m not in love with him. At least not as much as I am with Justin. I would do anything for Justin. I don’t know when or why it happened but it just did. I’m standing here watching him think when the buzz of Misty’s doorbell breaks us both from our thoughts. I glace at the clock and wonder who that could be at 1:12 in the morning. Maybe Misty ordered food.

“Who is it?” Misty asked

“Devon. Will you open up Misty?"

Misty looks over at Justin and I who just came out of the kitchen. She’s looking at me with that should I let him in gaze. I shrug at her cuz I’m not sure what would happen. Even though we have been drinking I’m still sober enough to know that when he walks in here things could go either way. Misty cracks the door open some and looks at him.

“Dev could this possibly wait till tomorrow?” Misty asked

“Look Misty I really need to talk to her right now. It’s important.” He says

I run to the bedroom to grab my robe while they are talking and head to the door.

“I’ll talk to him out here thanks Misty.” I say with a smile. Then I turn to face Devon.

“Yes what is so important it can’t wait till tomorrow?” I ask.

“Why couldn’t we talk inside?” He asks me and I look at him like he’s crazy.

“Is that what was so important? If it was that surely could have waited.” I turn to head back inside but Devon grabs my arm.

“No Anais wait. I just wanna know what’s going on?  I mean you and I have been arguing for days now. I miss you and I want to be with you.” He says as though this will just magically change how things have been going.

“Devon it’s not that easy. I’ve given up things for you that I said I wouldn’t and now that I realize that you have the biggest issue in the world with it cuz I’m changing it.” I say looking deep into his eyes.

“Anais what ever it is we can work it out.” He looks so pitiful.

I’m standing here looking at him and I don’t wanna break his heart. I care about him greatly and maybe I could grow to fall in love with him, but I’m tired of fighting with him. I’m basically doing what J did with Brit. Sneaking around to see my best friends cuz my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s right to be that close to someone of the opposite sex.

“Devon I’m tired can we talk about this later?” I ask

“NO ANAIS, we’re gonna talk about this now. I’m sick of you fucking walking away every time we start to talk about things. Why can’t we just go inside sit down and talk?” He asks with much more anger and force in his voice.

“Look you can’t make me invite you inside someone else’s house at this hour. Second I don’t feel like talking about it.” I say as I turn to walk back inside.

I don’t know where it came from or anything but I felt Devon grab my wrist and spin me around. My back hits the door really hard and I’m so shocked that he just did that to me.

“Devon what the hell is wrong with you?” I ask my anger starting to show.

“Look Anais I’m sick of this shit! You’re gonna go get your things and we’re going home! Now Anais!” He yells while yanking me toward him.

I yank my arm back and we both stare at each other for a long while. I don’t want to fight with him and I don’t want to go to blows with him either but I will if I need to!

“I’m not going any where with you like this and I think you need to clam the fuck down.” I say my voice getting a little louder.

Then it happened the one thing that I always said would drive me over the edge with any guy. He brought his hand up and smacked me hard across my face and I feel this horrible sting to my face. When everything finally registers to me that he just hit me and that I’m bleeding form my mouth I just lose it.

“YOU SON OF A BICTH!!” I yell as I lung for him.

I thought maybe I was hearing things at first but then I heard something hit the door. Then when I heard Anais yell out I knew something was very wrong and Misty and I quickly ran to the door. When Misty opened the door we saw Anais and Devon basically wreslting each other. I quickly run up to Anais and pulled her off of Devon.

“OMG Anais you’re bleeding!” Misty exclaims

Anais is still trying to break free from my grip and I have a bad feeling about this whole situation.

“Yea that mutha fucker just hit me!” Anais yelled.

Honestly it’s taking everything I have not to run up and beat the shit outta Devon. Suddenly there is a police car outside of Misty’s house. I knew this was gonna be bad.

“Justin let me go!”

Anais is screaming at me and so I turn and face the door and put her down. I give her that look that tells her to calm down before things get any worse and she understands me and gets quite. The police officers walk up to the porch and state that they received a call about a disturbance at this addresses.

“Is there a problem here folks?” A tall blond haired cop asks.

“No officers there is no problem here. I was just having a conversation with my girlfriend and things got a little heated.” Devon says trying to get rid of the cops.

“The fuck everything is ok Devon! Officer I would like to press charges against this man he just struck me across the face!” Anais practically yelled.

The cop looked back and forth between Anais and Devon and finally decided to cuff Devon and read him his rights while the other officer explained to Anais that she would needed to come down to the station to file the necessary paper work. Anais and Misty head into the house to get dressed while I find out what police station they are going to. So much for this being a fun night with friends.

I would just like to say that if I wasn’t a woman it would have taken a good 5 hours before anything was done at the police station. I’m so glad that I’m on my way back to Misty’s cuz all I wanna do right now is crawl into bed and go to sleep. It’s like 4:45 in the morning and Justin and I are just pulling back up to Misty’s. Misty and Justin both thought that it would be best for J to go with me. I guess I’m really glad he did go because he seems to be the only one (other than my father) who can keep me really calm when things get bad.

“You ready to go inside or do you wanna sit here for a second?” He asks

“Actually I really wanna go in and head to bed.” I say

“Snuggs you gonna be okay? I mean you’ve been really strong about this whole thing.”

I look over at him and I can see that he is very concerned. I take a deep breath before I answer.

“You know what? I can’t believe that he hit me. I mean I don’t even know where it came from. I guess I should have known things were only gonna get worse when he slammed me up against the door.”

“You know it took everything in me not to beat the crap outta of him right?” He asks with that half joking half serious tone.

“Yea I know. Had Trace actually been awake it would have been a done deal.” I laugh.

We’re both quite for a few minutes before I speak again.

“Justin will you sleep with me tonight?” I ask almost afraid he’ll say no.

“Of course I will. I mean if that’s what you want.” He says placing his hand on mine.

We get out the car and head for the door. I guess I was right about this being a very interesting night. But right now all I want to do is be wrapped up safely in Justin’s arms.

********************************************************************************

Devon has got to be one of the dumbest guys I have ever met. How he could put his hands on Anais is beyond me. We get in the house and see that Misty is waiting up for us. When she notices us she jumps up from the chair and runs towards Anais.

“Hun are you ok?” She asks still pretty worried.

“I’m fine really Mist. You didn’t need to stay up and wait for us.” Anais replies while giving Misty a hug.

“Why don’t you girls go ahead to bed. I’ll lock up and everything.” I say

“What about Trace?” Misty asks.

“He’ll be alright, just leave him on the couch.” I say.

I watch as Misty and Anais head up stairs and I stand there and think for a second, why am I not with her? Devon doesn’t deserve her. Then again who am I to say I do either. I just wanna give her every thing, treat her like the princess she is. I just want to love her. I break out of my thoughts and cut the TV off and lock the door. I cover Trace up and then head up to Anais room. At least for the rest of the weekend I may be able to keep her safe in my arms.

*******************************************************************************

Misty and I sit on her bed for a few minutes talking. She tells me if I really need to I can stay at her house for a few days while Devon gets his things out of my apartment. I honestly feel like it is all starting to get to me.

“Anais are you sure you are gonna be alright?” Misty asks me breaking me of my thoughts.

I look at her and I feel the tears start to burn my eyes. “I don’t know anymore Mist. It’s like I feel so stupid for not seeing this coming. The fact that he was so jealous of Justin and Trace. Asking me to not spend so much time with them. All the signs point to him being controlling and a bunch of other things.”

Misty gives me a big hug while I start wiping at my eyes. I’m such a baby sometimes.

“Hey Mist I’m gonna head to bed. I am so tired and I just want this night to be over.”

“Yea you should defiantly go get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day! Hey how about we go shopping tomorrow?”

I turn and smile and her. “Yea that sounds like a plan. Night Misty.”

“Night Na.”

I walk down the hall to my room and when I open the door I smile cuz I see the one thing I know in my heart I always want. To see Justin waiting for me in bed. I know he’s not asleep even though his eyes are closed. I close the door and start to change my clothes.

“So aren’t you gonna open your eyes and watch me strip?” I ask even though I know my voice is cracking.

“I would but it’s not as fun when you’re a little stressed and I know you’ve been crying.”

“Sometimes it’s bad that you know me so well.” I state while throwing my pants on the chair.

Justin sits up in the bed and looks at me. “Snuggs I know you’re not ok so why don’t you stop trying to act strong and pretend you are?”

I sigh. “I don’t feel like he deserves any of my tears Justin! I’m so angry with myself for giving up so much for him and to have him hurt me! Do you know how that feels?"

I feel myself starting to get more and more angry. I don’t want to be all girly and get so very emotional but I know I will and more than likely I am gonna cry myself to sleep.

Justin reaches out to grab me. “Just clam down Anais I know this is getting hard for you and I know that you are upset, but none of this is your fault.”

Once again I’m wiping my eyes and trying to clam down. God I just want this night to be over.

I love being at home. I don’t mean home as in LA or even Florida, but home as in good ole Tennessee. Anais, Trace and I came back home for my cousin Rachel’s wedding. We’re all sitting outside at my mom’s house. Actually Trace and I are sitting around, Anais and my mom are getting things ready for the barbeque that my mom is hosting.

“You know you two lazy bums could get up and help us!” Anais says.

“We could but what fun would that be?” Trace asks

“How about I make sure you guys don’t get any peach cobbler?” Anais challenges.

I look up at her shocked. “How are you gonna keep my grandma from giving me some of her cobbler?”

Anais squats down next to where I am sitting. “Don’t doubt my feminine powers Mr. Timberlake.”

I watch her walk away and I wanna run up and shower her with kisses. I love her so much. Hell I would tell her all of that but it’s only been two weeks since that whole incident with Devon. I don’t want to just be some rebound or jeopardize our friendship. She turns around and looks at me.

“Are you really just gonna sit there or are you gonna help me set up these tables?” She asks with her hands on her hips.

I laugh at her and start heading over to where she is standing. “What if I help by standing here watching you and Trace?”

Anais rolled her eyes. “Oh you got jokes huh? I see how funny you wanna be!” She turns and starts walking towards the house. “Nana Boomer, Justin won’t help me set up the tables.”

I stood there in shock. I could not believe she was telling on me. What are we like 6? How could she go telling on me like that? Suddenly I see my grandmother walking out the house as well as my mom and Anais mom following behind. Oh great I’m in for the lecture of my life.

“Justin why are you being a lazy little stump?’ My grandma asks.

“Man Nana I was gonna help Anais, she just hates me joking with her.” I say in my defense.

“Well how about you and Trace set up the tables and Anais you come in and help us finish up some of the food?” Her mom suggests.

“Sure, I don’t have a problem with that.” Anais replies.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t.” I say.

I start helping Trace set up the tables and turn to watch her walk back in the house with the other ladies. As if she knows I’m watching her she turns around and sticks her tongue out at me and I laugh. Then she shakes her head and smiles while I throw her a wink. How in the hell am I suppose to be able to contain myself this whole weekend?

********************************************************************************

Justin is such a dork. How could he think I wouldn’t get him to do anything? I think he just honestly enjoys torturing me. I start making the spaghetti when I hear some little feet-walking trough the front door. When they finally make it to the kitchen I realizes it’s Justin’s little brothers.

“Hey Jonathan, hey Steven!” I say while bending down to give them both a hug.

“Nay Nay!” They both yell in unison.

“How you guys doing? Man you’re getting so big!”

“We’re fine. Nay are you gonna play basketball with us while you’re here?” Steven asks.

“Yes I will play basketball with you. Listen why don’t we go out and see your brother. Make sure he is doing his job.” I suggest just so they won’t be in the way.

Jonathan starts heading towards the backdoor while Steven waits for me to take off my apron. I think Steven has a crush on me cuz no matter what whenever I’m around he is right up under me. I think it’s so adorable. I take Stevens hand and we head out to the backyard where Trace, Justin, and Jonathan are already horsing around. Steven waits till everyone’s back is turned and he looks up at me to make sure it’s ok to go for it. I give him the okay he charges for Justin’s back and jumps him.

“Hey ya little runt you trying to catch me off guard?” Justin swings Steven around and starts tickling him.

“Get off my lil man, Timberlake!” I say walking over to the group of boys.

“Oh I see how it is you dissing me for my little brother!”

“Well he is cuter.”

“Yea Justin I’m cuter!” Steven says proudly.

We both laugh at him and Justin turns back around to look at me. It’s like suddenly I’m lost in his eyes. I can’t even begin to explain what I’m feeling right now but I want to kiss him so bad, it’s driving me crazy. Soon I am broken out of my trance by my mother calling me back into the house so that I could finish cooking. I turned back to Justin and excused myself. As I walking back to the house I was thinking this could be one of the longest weekends of my life.

*********************************************************************************

A few hours later….

So I’m standing around my mom’s backyard looking at all these faces. Some that I haven’t even seen in years. Interestingly enough the face that I want to see I haven’t seen in a couple of hours. I see Trace talking to a girl we went to school with and I make my way over to him.

“Hey what’s up man?” Trace asks as I stand next to him. “You remember Sara?” He asks referring to the girl he is talking to.

“Oh hey Sara I haven’t seen you in ages.” I say as I give her a small hug.

“Hey Justin. It’s really good to see you.” She says returning the hug.

I turn to Trace. “Have you seen Na anywhere?”

“Nope, not since she helped mom bring the food out earlier.”

“Ok. Well it was good seeing you again Sara.” I say as I turn and try to find Anais.

Something told me to go around to the side of the house where Anais use to love to sit.  So I walk around to the side of the house where we have a tire swing and I spot her swinging slowly back and forth with something in her hand.

“I should have known you were hiding.” I say walking up behind her.

“I’m not hiding. If I was you wouldn’t have been able to find me.” She replies not even bothering to turn around.

“Ah so that’s why you’re over here away from everyone. You’re sneaking peach cobbler!”

She swallows the bite of cobbler she has just taken and laughs at me. “I don’t have to sneak it. It’s mine to have you punk.” She says sticking her tongue out at me.

“What do you mean it’s yours to have?”

“Nana made it all for me and I don’t have to sneak it.”

“Hey that’s not fair how come you get your own but I don’t?”

Anais laughs and waves the plate around. “Ah Justy you want some of your own?”

“You know I’m really tired of my family loving you more!” I say trying to act hurt.

“Oh chill J. Nana made you one too. I just wanted to mess with you.”

I laugh and sit in the grass in front of her. “So why are you all the way over here? Getting tired of partying?”

“I just needed some me time. Besides that I have to go home with my parents tonight.” She sighs.

“You make that sound like one of the worst things in the world to happen. You usually get along with your parents.” I say.

“Yea we do, but they want to know why Devon isn’t with me.”

“You haven’t told them what happened with Devon?” I say a little shocked.

“Oh yea cuz it’s the easiest thing to tell my mother and father that this guy that they really liked and thought was just oh so great for their daughter hit her!” Anais replies sarcastically.

I sigh and think back to that night. I really wanted to beat the crap out of Devon that night and damn it if Anais didn’t need me to keep her clam I would have laid his ass out right were he stood. I never understood how guys could ever lay their hands on a woman. We were laughing when Anais stopped and looked at me.

“You think we should go back to the party before everyone thinks we are being very anti social?” Anais asked me.

“Do we really have to?” I whine

Anais laughs and stands up reaching out for me. “Yes we should really get back. Besides our moms and your grandma will kill us if we stay away to long.”

We start heading back to the party, but I would much rather keep her all to myself.

*******************************************************************************

We got back to the party just in time. The best man was making a toast to the bride and groom to be. This was almost like a rehearsal dinner just Tennessee style. Out of the corner of my eye I see my parents coming up toward me.

My mother leans over and whispers. “I hope that is you one day soon.”

I roll my eyes because every time something about a wedding comes up my mother is the first one trying to marry me off.

“Well maybe one day it will be mom.” I say trying not to sound annoyed.

“Debra leave our little girl alone. She will get married when she knows the time is right.” My dad says.

“Thank you daddy.”

Trace comes over after the toast is made and he Justin and I just start talking about random stuff. It kinda reminds me of when we were younger and we had big gatherings like this. It was fun and I miss it so much. Before I know it time has passed us by and people are leaving. It’s almost time to face the dreaded going home with my parents.

I love them I do and I don’t think it’s so much me staying with them as it is me telling them about me and Devon. My mother adores him and my dad thinks he is a very good businessman. Well that’s all fine and dandy but I will never be in an abusive relationship. On the other hand I’m worried about my father going to LA to kill Devon. I sit in the car thinking about all these different things when my dad breaks me of my thoughts.

“So sunshine how is working going? I know things must be more busy for you because of your new promotion.” My dad asks.

“Things are good. I’m finally settled in so things are running smoothly and I have a team that works with me.”

“Oh that’s good so all the works not put on you.” My dad says with a hint of joking.

“No daddy. I wouldn’t let them work me that hard.” I laugh.

“So how are things with you and Devon?” My mother asks as we are pulling into the driveway.

I sigh cuz I knew this was coming. “Well I kinda wanna talk to you guys about that, but can we do it when we get in the house?”

I see my mom and dad look at each other. Then she replies. “Honey Devon called us and let us know you two are having problems but we can talk about it more when we get inside.”

I feel my anger boiling as I get out the car. How dare he call my parents and tell them we are having problems. We don’t have problems, he has problems! I bet you there is no way in hell he told them what he did to me. Now that I think about it when could he have called my parents? I mean he had to have thought that I would call and tell them. Then again he probably knew I was too chicken to say anything.

Oh this is going to be such a long night and I know it. My dad opens the front door and we walk in. I feel the need to take a nice hot shower and get into my PJ’s before I start talking to them. As I start walking up to my bedroom I hear something that makes me sick to my stomach.

“Oh Devon I’m so glad you made it here safely” My mother says

My feeling of sickness quickly turned into blood rushing anger and I ran back down the stairs and into the living room. When I got there my mother looked at me strangely and begin to ask me questions.

“Honey I thought you were going to change into your pajama’s?”

I didn’t even bother to look at her. Nor did I bother to reply to her question. I just stared at Devon until I let the words I was thinking come out of my mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I yell.

“Anais!” My dad yells.

I again ignore anything my parents are saying to me and stare at Devon with hateful eyes.

“You won’t return any of my phone calls and I knew you would be here this weekend so I asked your parents if I could come down and talk to you. Please baby we can work this all out.” He says while walking towards me.

I step back cuz I think I might be sick by the slightest touch. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here you know that?” I ask

Both my parents are looking slightly confused but more annoyed at the situation that is being played out in front of them.

“Anais what ever is going on between you and Devon I am sure you guys can work it out. You just need to sit down and talk things through.” My mother says.

I turn and face my mom. “Why couldn’t you guys just talk to me before you go butting into my love life? You don’t even know what happened or why I am so angry with him!”

“Well what ever it is sunshine I’m sure you guys can work it out.” My dad says calmly

I know there is such a better way to do this but I’m too upset to even deal with it right now. I turn back to Devon.

“Get the hell out of my parent’s house now!” I yell

“Anais please can we just talk? I know I hurt you but please baby.”

I’m completely stunned. The fact that he just said that is just so wow. My brain can’t even function correctly.

“There is nothing left to say get out of my parent’s house now stop calling me stop coming by just stop it!” I yell again as I turn to walk away.

Devon must be really stupid or he just wants to die cuz he actually tired to grab my arm and stop me from leaving the room. When I yanked my arm back he looked at me with those please don’t do this eyes. Then he got smart once again and let me go. I walked up to my room and immediately picked up the phone and dial those familiar numbers.

********************************************************************************

Trace and I were sitting in my old room talking and drinking beers when my cell phone rang. I smiled as soon as I heard the ringer.

“What’s up Snuggs?”

“Justin I need you and Trace over here now!” Anais says

I can tell she is trying to stay clam it’s just the way her voice sounds.

“What’s the matter?” I ask. Trace is watching me very closely.

“I was gonna do it J. I was gonna tell my parents what happened when we got home. But low and behold what did they do they had already invited Devon here!”

“Wait what? Devon’s at your parent’s house right now?” I say jumping up already with Trace right behind me.

“Yea I don’t know if he has left yet. I told him about 4 times to leave but my parents might be trying to find out why I’m reacting like this.”

I hear her tell me to hold on and I hear her mother in the background asking her to come down and talk with them. I also hear her saying that what ever it is she and Devon can work through it as long as they talk it through. Then I hear Anais voice through the phone again.

“J just please you and Trace hurry up and get here.” She says desperately

“We’re already in the car on our way.” I say as we hang up.

“Yo J what’s going on? Is Na ok?” Trace asks.

“No that fucker Devon is at her parent’s house.” I say pissed.

“Are you serious? He has some nerve showing up there.”

I look over at Trace. “Would you believe her parents were the ones who invited him over?” I ask.

“Oh you have got to be shittin me! Usually they stay out of her love life.”

“I know which makes this even more baffling to me.” I say as we pull up to Anais parent’s house.

I dial her cell to let her know we are here and she comes out to the front and looks a little worried. After a second I see Devon follow and this just sends me into overdrive. I also know that Trace and Anais know I want to beat the crap out of this guy so why act like I am not going to. I start walking up to Anais, with Trace running up behind me.

“J no I know what you want to do and he is not wroth it you know it!” Anais says pledging with me.

I don’t care what she is saying to me. I never liked Devon in the 1st place.

“I should have known that she would call her good ole trusty guard dog” Devon says in that oh so smug voice and I just lose it.

“You stupid son of a bitch!” I say just as I hit him dead in his face.

“OMG J please stop it!” Anais is yelling and Trace is trying to clam her down.

“Oh so you want a piece of me Timberass!” Devon says

I see Anais parents come out and we hear them ask what’s going on and the next thing I know Devon sucker punches me and busts my lip. So here we are out here fighting and soon Trace and Mr. Taylor are pulling us apart.

“Just admit it Justin you’re mad cuz you want what I have.” Devon says smugly

“You don’t have shit!” I yell with Trace trying to hold me back.

Anais comes and stands in front of me with tears in her eyes.

“J please just come in the house with me. Like I said he is so not wroth it. I don’t care what happens to him but I care what happens to you!”

“Will someone tell us what the hell is going on?” Mr. Taylor yells

“Daddy the reason I got so mad about Devon being here and the reason we broke up was because Devon hit me.”

Her mother was in such shock and her dad looked like he was about to go on a killing rampage.  Mr. Taylor turned to Devon.

“You put your hands on my daughter?”

“Mr. Taylor it wasn’t like that we had a misunderstanding and…”

Mr. Taylor cut him off.

“You put your fucking hands on my daughter!! If you think what Justin did to you was something you haven’t seen anything yet!” He says rolling up his sleeves.

“Daddy Don’t! Like I said to Justin he is not worth it. Please just come in and talk to me. I’ll tell you what happened. Let him go I don’t want my guys going to jail over this ass hole.”

I watched her and her dad walk back over towards us and it never seems to amaze me just how strong Anais can be. She can be in the worst of situations and still mange to have a sensible head. It’s just one of the many things I adore about her. We all head in the house and into the living room.

“Honey why didn’t you tell us what happened?” Mrs. Taylor asked.

“I wanted to but I was a little nervous about it. Then when I got the nerve to do it tonight I got so upset at the fact you let him come here and butted into my love life without talking to me first.” Anais answered.

“Justin, Trace I want to thank you both for looking after my little girl.” Mr. Taylor says.

“You know you never have to thank us for that. Nobody hurts Na.” Trace replied.

It’s just been that way since we were younger. Nobody ever hurt Anais and got away with it. We stayed there and talked for a little longer. Soon Mr. & Mrs. Taylor headed up to bed and left the 3 of us to talk.

“Anais you sure you’re ok?” Trace asked?

“Yea I’m fine now. Thank you guys for coming so fast.”

“Well as soon as you said Devon was here there was no taking our time.” I replied.

“Can you guys stay here tonight?” Anais asked us.

Trace and I look at each other. She’s pretty shaken up and it’s so obvious. I hate seeing her like this.

“Of course we’ll stay Na. We can make it a sleep over thing like we use to when we were younger.” Trace answers.

“Yea it will be fun we can stay up and watch movies and talk and shit like we use to.” I say trying to make Anais feel better.

“Thank you guys. I’m just gonna go up and hop in the shower real quick and then I’ll bring you guys something to sleep in.”

I watch her get up and head up the stairs to her room and I feel Trace staring at me.

“You would have killed him had we not been there.” Trace says breaking me from my trance.

“I don’t necessarily know that I would have killed him as opposed to hurting him really badly.” I say

“J you were ready to kill him I saw the look in your eyes. You wanted him dead for hurting Anais. I mean hell you already disliked the guy.”

“This is true.” I laugh.

“You think she is gonna be ok?” Trace asks

“Yea, I just think she needs a fun night with us and the fact that she knows all three of her protectors are in one house, she doesn’t have to worry that one of us will go out and do something crazy to Devon.”

“I believe that’s the real reason she asked us to stay. Just so she doesn’t have to worry we will be out trying to kill that fool.” Trace laughs.

“Yea that’s defiantly one of the reasons but not the only one.” I reply glancing back up the stairs.

********************************************************************************

So yea it finally happened. Justin and Devon came to blows. I knew it would come about soon. I mean when Devon and I first got together I didn’t think it would get here. I figured they might have a few disagreements but nothing like this. I sit down on my bed for a minute and just enjoy the quietness until I hear my cell phone ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey sweetie. How are you?” Misty asks

“OMG you don’t even wanna know right now.” I say as I get up to find Justin and Trace something to sleep in.

“Aww baby what happened?”

“Well let’s see, Devon called my parents to try and get them to help him win me back. Of course you know he didn’t tell them what he did, so they invited him up here for the weekend.”

“WHAT!!! Are you fucking serious!” Misty yells into the phone.

“Yea and that’s not even the half of it. I ended up snapping on him and then ran to call Trace and Justin.”

“Shit I’m mad I missed that one.” She laughs

“OMG Mist, Justin was gonna kill Devon if we hadn’t been there. Then as soon as my dad found out jezz I was looking at Trace and my mom like what are we gonna do. If it wasn’t for the fact that they would do anything for me I would have never gotten them into the house with out them killing Devon first.” I sigh

“Well at least he got his ass kicked cuz Na you know he deserved at least that much.”

“Yea I know and I really don’t deny that but he is defiantly not worth my guys going to jail.”

“This is true. But other than that whole thing how have things been going?”

“Good. We had fun at the barbeque tonight. Listen Mist let me call you tomorrow. Justin and Trace are downstairs waiting on me.” I say

“Oh ok babe, just give me a call tomorrow after you’re done with everything.”

We hang up and I go back downstairs to see that Justin and Trace made popcorn and have juice for us. I laugh when I see what movie they have picked out for us to watch. I hand them both the clothes I got for them to wear to bed and I sit down.

“What are you laughing at?” Trace asks

“You guys hate “Ever After” and yet you guys picked it out or am I mistaken that we are gonna watch it.” I ask.

“You’re right we do hate this movie but for you we can bare through it for tonight.” Justin says as he heads for the bathroom.

After Trace and Justin both got changed we let the let out bed out and we started the movie. It reminded me so much of old times. I was in the middle of these two goof balls and they were throwing popcorn while I was trying to watch the movie.

“I swear I don’t know why you guys put this movie on and you never let me watch it in peace.” I laugh.

“We were trying to help though!” Trace says trying to feed me some popcorn.

“Ok, Ok, guys we should really try and get some sleep seeing as we have runs to make tomorrow for my aunt.” Justin says.

“Yea Justin’s right.” I reply as I start turning off stuff.

When I get back in the bed I lay there and think I am so lucky to have people that care about me so much.

It’s been a few weeks since my cousins wedding and I’m glad things with Anais and Devon are completely over and that things have actually been a lot better for everyone including me. I’m finally coming around and getting the nerve to tell Anais just how I feel. I head up the stairs to Anais apartment. (Yea we gave each other back the house keys)

“Hey Snuggles It’s me.” I say as I close the door.

“Snuggs where are you?” I’m starting to get worried.

When she finally appears in the doorway from her bedroom she looks so pale and sick. I quickly run over to her.

“Snuggs what’s the matter?”

“Justin I’m not feeling so good can you please take me to the doctor?” She asks.

“Of course I can.” I say

I help her get her jacket on and out to the car. The whole ride there she kept looking as though she was going to throw up all over my car.

“Snuggs how long have you been feeling like this?” I ask

“I don’t know a couple of week’s maybe.” She answers.

“Well we are almost there so just be cool.”

Once we get there we head to the office and get settled in. After she signs in we wait for the doctor to call her.

“J will you come back there with me please?” She asks me sounding scared.

“If you want me to I will. But you know something Anais, you have been sounding more and more scared when you ask me things lately.” I say.

She sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I do see what you’re talking about.”

After a few more minutes Anais is called to the back and I follow her. She sits there looking very nervous.

“Anais other than the fact that your aren’t feeling so hot physically what’s going on?” I ask noticing her demeanor.

“J I don’t know. I just feel like something is really wrong.”

“Something like what?”

She laughs. “If I knew I would have just said what it was.”

I watch as the doctor comes in and examines her. He also runs some test and leaves her to get dressed. A few minutes later he comes back in and lets Anais know that the results from her test should be ready in a few days and to just take it easy.

We head back to her apartment and I suggest we just lay low and hang out at her place. The paparazzi have already spotted us out today just grabbing some groceries so I know that by tomorrow it will be some big story. Whatever though. I open the door for Anais and we head in.

“You know I’m gonna stay here and take care of you?” I say.

“Yea I know. Cuz God forbid I can’t take care of myself.” She says sarcastically.

I laugh and take the groceries in the kitchen while Anais heads in her room and changes clothes.

“What do you want to eat Snuggles?” I yell from out the kitchen.

“Do I have to eat something?” She yells back.

“Yes you need to eat something” I reply.

Suddenly she appears in the doorway. “Give me one good reason why I have to eat something?”

“Because I said so.” I laugh

She raises her eyebrow at me. “You do realize you are not my dad and that line does not work.”

I laugh even harder. “It was wroth a try.”

“I guess I can try and eat some soup.” She says.

“Ok why don’t you go and lay down and rest and I’ll bring you the soup”

She sighs. “Ok.”

I watch her get up and head to her bedroom. I’m really glad she didn’t put up a fight. I just think to myself I could get use to taking care of her like this.

********************************************************************************

I truly hate being sick. It gets on my nerves! Justin is in my kitchen trying to cook. I hope he doesn’t burn the place down. Come to think of it he has become a better cook over the years. Mostly I didn’t want to argue with him so I just let him go ahead and stay and take care of me. Maybe it has a lot to do with the fact that when he gets sick and I’m around I take care of the big baby. My house phone rings and I reach over to my nightstand to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey sunshine” My dads voice echo’s through the phone.

“Hey daddy.”

“How is my sunshine doing?”

“I’m sick. I think I have the stomach flu.” I say kinda pouty

“Oh baby I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yea well I have nurse Justin here taking care of me so I will be fine.” I laugh

“You’re really letting Justin take care of you when you’re sick?” He jokes.

“Oh he isn’t that bad.” I say

“Other than being sick what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing much.” I say as I see Justin walking in with my food.

“Hey daddy can I call you back after I’m done eating?” I ask

“Of course honey. I hope you feel better and I will talk to you later.” He says just before we hang up the phone.

“Ah talking to your dad huh?” Justin asks me

“Yea.” I smile reaching for my food.

“So when you going back into the studio Mr. Timberlake?” I ask trying to get a conversation going.

“I don’t know. I was thinking about maybe getting together with the guys and doing another Nsync album.” He answers.

“That would be good. All you guys fans would be ecstatic.” I say taking another spoon full of soup.

We talk for a bit longer before I start to get sleepy. The last thing I remember is Justin taking away my bowl.

********************************************************************************

She looks so cute when she is sleeping. I could watch her sleep forever. I sit up front for a little while before I decide to turn in myself.

A few days later…

So I took care of Anais till she started feeling better. Of course right after that she went back to work and working hard to make sure she caught up with the work she missed during her sick leave. Trace and I decided to go kidnap her and take her to lunch. We walk into the office.

“Ok grab your purse and let’s go.” Trace says.

“Exactly where are we going?” Anais asks.

“To lunch.” I reply.

Anais laughs. “Ok give me a minute I have to finish this paper work up.”

Trace and I sit down and wait for Anais to finish up her work. She wraps everything up and we start to head out the door when her cell phone rings.

“You know I don’t think there is ever a moment that thing doesn’t ring!” Trace jokes.

“Ha Ha you are so freakin funny.” She says while answering her phone.

From the conversation I can already tell that it’s the doctor’s office and I’m thinking they must have gotten some results back from her test. I start getting worried as I see her face start to have a panicked expression on it. I hope she’s ok is all I can think. When she finally gets off the phone I can tell that something is really wrong.

“Snuggles what is it?” I ask

“Yea Na you look like you just found out something horror able.” Trace says.

Finally she answers.  “I did just get some horror able news.” She says while looking at her phone.

“Well what happened?” Trace asks

“I’m pregnant.”

How in the hell could I let something this bad happen? I mean I could have sworn we were always careful. I make sure I take my pill everyday and I make sure we were always stocked up on condoms. How the fuck could I be pregnant? OMG what am I gonna do? Instead on going to lunch I asked for the rest of the day off and Trace and Justin took me home. I don’t think I’ve said much else since I talk to my boss.

“Snuggles you sure you don’t want me to get you something to eat?” I hear Justin ask.

“J maybe we should just stay here with her and when she is ready to talk then she will come to us.” Trace says when I don’t answer.

“I’m worried about her. We’ve been here for an hour and she hasn’t said or done anything.”

“I know you’re worried. I’m worried about her too, but we can’t make her talk to us.”

I hear Trace and Justin walking up front. I don’t even bother getting up to go join them. I’m still too much in shock. What am I gonna do? I’m pregnant with the man I hate the most baby and the man I’m head over hills for and want to be with has no clue and all he knows is that his best friend is with child from someone they hate. Oh what a web I have weaved.

*******************************************************************************

My heart is completely out of it. I don’t mean the organ in my chest, but the woman that I love so much. In my head I had hoped that when I heard this news it would be Anais telling me that she was pregnant with my child. This day could not be any better if I had planed it myself.

“Justin did you hear a word I said?” Trace asks me.

“What? No I’m sorry Trace. I just can’t believe this is happening.”

“I’m sorry man. I know that when something like this happened we were supposed to be celebrating it. Not wondering what she’s gonna do about it.”

“I should have told her.” I whisper

“You should have told her how you felt?” Trace asks

I sit on the couch with my head in my hands. “Yea I should have told her a long time ago. Maybe it would have saved us a lot of heartache.”

“Justin you can’t think like that. There could have been a good chance that things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to. I’m not trying to put a damper on things it’s just that she may not have felt the same way about you.” Trace says.

“Thank you for helping me look on the bright side of things.” I reply sarcastically.

Trace sits down next to me and I know that he means well but damn it I don’t want this to be happening. However I know that in the back of my mind he could be right. One of the main reasons I never told her how I felt was because I was so afraid of ruining our friendship. I don’t believe she feels like that for me. I don’t believe her heart could ever belong to me.

********************************************************************************

I don’t know how long I’ve been laying here but my mind is so blank at the moment. I don’t even know if Trace and Justin are still here. My body is telling me I need to get up and take care of something’s but my mind is just not agreeing.  Finally I get the motivation to get up and go into the bathroom. I take a nice long shower and then head into the kitchen.

I don’t even know why I am bothering trying to find something to eat when I feel sick to my stomach. I noticed Trace and Justin are still here but they are both sleep and I would feel horrible if I woke them up when they have been here for hours. So I head back to my room and call my other best friend.

“Talk to me sexy.” Misty answers

“Hey Mist. I was wondering if you could come over here for a little while.” I say knowing my voice is really giving me away.

“Yea sure. What’s the matter hun?” Misty asks.

“I just need someone to talk to. Besides I would much rather talk to you face to face.” I answer.

”Ok well I just need to throw on some clothes and I’ll be right over.” Misty says

“Thanks Mist. I’ll see you in a few.” I say as I hang up the phone.

I make my way back in the living room and watch the guys sleep for a little while. I feel so lost at the moment. Honestly I wanna wake them both up and tell them to go in the guest room so they can be more comfortable, but I don’t want to disturb them. God only knows how long they were up worrying about me. I stare out the window blankly for a little while wondering just how I’m gonna get myself out of this mess.

********************************************************************************

Damn she looks so beautiful right now. Then again she always looks beautiful. I don’t even think she’s noticed that I’m awake and that I’m just laying here watching her. I guess I should go ahead and make my presence known. I slowly sit up and continue to watch her for a bit longer. She looks so hurt and confused right now. I just wanna take her in my arms and take her away from all this.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I whisper.

She doesn’t even turn to look at me. “Just looking out for Misty. She told me she would be here soon and I didn’t wanna wake you guys up.”

“Oh.” I say a little disappointed that she won’t look at me. “What time is it?” I ask

“About 1:50am.” She says still looking out the window.

“I didn’t even realize it was that late.” I get up and head in her direction.

“Yea it is. Thank you guys for staying. I know that you’re gonna say you don’t have to thank us and that you weren’t gonna leave anyway, but still thank you.”

I watch her intently for a few more minutes before I make another statement.

“You’re going to be alright Snuggles you know that.” I say more as a statement than a question.

“I don’t know anything anymore Justin. This is all just so wrong, and I don’t know what to do.” She says softly as she lays her head on my chest.

I know she’s about to start crying. This whole situation is just starting to take its toll on her. I think in the last month and a half she has been through hell and back. I hold on to her tightly as she cries softly in my arms and for once I’m more than heartbroken cuz I don’t how to make this better for her. There are so many questions floating around in my head at the moment. Like if this weren’t Devon’s baby and it was mine would she still react this way? Does she think she could have this baby?

I sigh as I look out the window. Soon I notice that Misty has pulled up and I pull away from Anais a little bit.

“Hey Snuggs Misty is here. Why don’t you go clean your face and I’ll let her in ok?” I ask

She just shakes her head at me. I watch her head towards the bathroom while I make my way to the door. As I’m walking over there I hear Trace get up.

“Is she doing a little better?” He asks as I open the door for Misty.

“It’s hard to tell. It’s like she’s here physically, but mentally she is just gone.” I say

Soon Misty is at the door and she greets Trace and I with hugs.

“What’s going on over here?” She asks.

Trace looks over at me. “Maybe you should go talk to Anais about this Misty.” Trace says as he heads back in the front room.

Misty slowly heads towards Anais room and as much as I wanna go in there with them I force myself up front. I sit down across from Trace back in deep thought.

“So has she said anything to you about what she wants to do?” Trace asks.

“Nope and I didn’t think asking was going to be such a good idea.”

“Yea I hear ya. You think she’s gonna tell her parents?”

“I have no idea. Hell we don’t even know if she is gonna keep the baby.” I say

Trace and I sit there quietly just thinking to ourselves. How do you stay and deal with a situation that you don’t want to be happening? I really wanna run away and pretend like this is not happening. I want it to all go away. And to think I’m the one saying all this and I’m not even the one with the huge problem!

*********************************************************************************

I heard Misty come in my room. I shut off the water and dry my face trying to look somewhat presentable even though I know that when I tell her this the water works are gonna start all over again. I take a deep breath and then head back into my bedroom. I see Misty sitting in a chair across from my bed looking very puzzled.

“Hey babe what’s going on? Why are Trace and Justin here and why is the mood in the house so sober?” She asks in one breath.

I look at her and I open my mouth to say something but all that comes out is the soft whimper of crying. I lose it and break down again. Misty comes rushing towards me.

“OMG! Anais what’s wrong? You have to tell me what’s going on baby.”

I try and take a deep breath and focus on telling her what’s wrong but it’s just so hard at the moment. Finally I pull it together and I get my words together.

“I’m pregnant.” I finally get out.

“You’re what?” She says shocked.

”I’m pregnant.” I say again

“By who? Please tell me it’s not Devon’s!” She says and all I can do is cry again

“Oh sweetie I am so sorry. Is that why Justin and Trace are still here?”

I shake my head yes. “Even though I haven’t told him how I feel this is supposed to be Justin’s baby!” I say hysterically but still not loud enough for Justin to hear me.

“I know sweetie I know.” Misty says as she rocks me back and forth.

I continue to just cry softly in her arms. While I’m crying all I can think of is how am I going to have this baby?

I awoke to my cell phone going off. I don’t even remember what time I finally went to sleep. I stayed up so long worrying about Anais that I was restless for a while. I really don’t feel like getting up, but I know I need to just in case it’s important. I make my way out of the bed and over to my pants where I left my phone. By the time I got to the phone it stopped ringing. I noticed that the missed call was from my mother. I quickly call back.

“Hello?” She answers.

“Hey momma it’s me. You just called?” I ask sitting back down on the bed.

“Oh hey sweetie. Yes I did just call. I tried the house and I didn’t get any answer. I was just calling to check on you. Is everything ok? It’s still pretty earlier there and I didn’t remember you saying anything about having anything to do.”

“Um I’m not sure how things are. I spent the night at Anais place. She’s having some problems and Trace and I decided to stay with her.” Wondering if I should tell my mother what’s going on.

“Is she ok? What’s wrong with my girl?” She asks very worried.

“Mom if I tell you this you have to promise not to say anything to Anais parents.” I say checking to make sure nobody is by the door.

“Of course. Honey what’s going on?”

I sigh before I let the words fall from my lips. “Anais is pregnant.”

My heart hurts a little because when I said these words to my mother I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be telling my mother that she was about to have a grand child. I notice that she is quite for a while on the other end.

“Mom, are you still there?” I ask

“Did you just say Anais is pregnant?” She asks

I sigh. “Yea I did.”

“OMG! Justin is it Devon’s baby?” She asks

Once again I sigh. “Unfortunately yes. Mom I have no idea what to do. She spent a lot of time crying last night.”

“Did she just find out?”

“Yea yesterday. Trace and I brought her home and we just crashed here last night. Her friend Misty is here. Mom she has no idea what she wants to do and I don’t know how to make this better for her.” I say.

“Honey there may not be a way for you to make this better. Just be her friend and be there for her when she needs you.” I hear my mother say

“I don’t want to be her friend I want to be her everything. I want that to be my baby!” I practically yell into the phone.

It doesn’t occur to me until after I have said it that this is the first time I am admitting to my mother that I want to be with Anais. I quickly close my eyes cuz I didn’t mean for that to come out. Not right at this moment anyway. I hear my mother chuckle a little.

“What’s so funny?” I ask

“Well it’s about time you finally admitted that.” She says.

“Excuse me?”  I ask completely confused by what she said.

“You heard me! It’s about time you finally admitted that.” She laughs again.

“What? You could tell how I feel about her?” I ask shocked that my mom knows.

“Well Justin I am your mother. But trust me she has no idea. I think you two would make a cute couple, but then again we were never sure which one of you she would end up with.” My mom says.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well myself, Debra and Julia use to sit up and talk about you kids when you were younger. Wondering which one of you Anais would choose when you all got older. Honestly we thought it would be she and Trace considering you went off to become a star. But I think you and her make the better couple.” She says.

I sigh in frustration and lay back on the bed. “So how long have you known?” I ask

“I could tell very much when you all came up here for Rachel’s wedding. Just the way you looked at her when she wasn’t looking.”

“Mom what am I gonna do. I was all ready to tell her how I feel and now this. She was up most of the night crying and I feel so helpless cuz there is nothing I can do to make things better for her.” I say

“Well honey this isn’t really your fight. I know you love her and care about her deeply and I do to. She’s like a daughter to me, but you have to let her go through this on her own. Just be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on.”

I finished up the conversation with my mom and then I sat and thought about what she was saying to me. I know she is right and there really isn’t anything that I can do. I just have to be there for her. Still it hurts that this can’t be a happy time and that it’s not my child. I should have said something a long time ago. I hear a knock at the door.

“Come in.” I say. I watch Trace walk in.

“Wasn’t sure you were up yet.” He says as he sits on the bed.

“Yea my mom called. I was talking to her.” I say a little distracted.

“You ok man?” Trace asks.

I look up at Trace. “Did you know our mothers use to sit up and talk about which one of us Anais would end up with?”

He looks a little puzzled. “Are you serious? They actually did that?”

“Yea. They actually thought for a while that you and Anais would end up together. My mom knows how I feel. She actually knew before I started babbling on about how upset I was that the baby’s not mine.”

 Trace laughed then his expression turned serious. “This is really hurting you isn’t it?

“Yea it is. I mean even if there was a chance between us it’s my own fault for not saying anything to her.” I say picking at my shirt.

“What time did you finally make it to sleep?” Trace asks

“I don’t even know man. I was to busy worrying about Anais and listening to her cry a little every few minutes.” I reply

“Well I know that she and Misty are still in bed. So you wanna go and grab them some breakfast? Maybe see if she will try and eat something today?” Trace asks

“Yea that sounds like a good idea.” I say.

I get up and head into one of the bathrooms to get dressed. Still thinking about what my mom said. I know life is never just that simple. I turn on the shower and let the water run over my face. I wish I could take away all her pain.

********************************************************************************

I didn’t really get much sleep last night. Actually I know that I cried myself to sleep but I probably only slept for about half an hour. Misty stayed up with me and rubbed my head told me everything would be ok. I think my biggest thing is I really don’t know what to do. I would be happy if the father of my baby wasn’t such an asshole. I feel Misty stir.

“Hey Babe. How you feeling?” Misty asks as she rolls over to face me.

“I feel like shit.” I reply.

“You having morning sickness already?” She asks puzzled.

“No it’s not that. I just feel so lost and I know this baby didn’t ask for it’s father but the fact that it’s Devon’s baby just makes me feel really shitty.”

“Oh baby. I’m sorry this is such a bad situation. You still don’t know what you want to do about it though?” Misty asks sitting up some.

“No I’m still not sure. I mean if I have it then I would have to tell my parents and then deal with Devon and his family and that’s just something I don’t want to do. But I really don’t want to have an abortion if there is no need to you know?” I say.

“What do you mean if there is no need to?” Misty asks.

“I mean if there is no chance of birth defects or anything like that. Something that would hurt the chances of the baby being healthy. I also don’t want to do the adoption thing. If I have this baby then I want to raise it.” I say.

“Well you know we would all be here to help you. Me, Trace and Justin.” Misty replies rubbing my arm.

“That’s another thing on my mind. I wish this were Justin’s baby. I should have just told him that night he came by and Trace said we should talk. Hell I wouldn’t have even felt this crazy if I had gotten pregnant after that one time.”

Misty doesn’t say anything she just sits there for a minute. I watch her head to the bathroom and I sit up in the bed thinking even harder. I pull the covers off me and head to the kitchen to make some coffee. I see a note on the counter and I pick it up to read.

Hey gorgeous,

Trace and I went out to get some breakfast, so don’t go trying to cook something or making some cereal. We should be back soon. Just try and rest till we get back. I'm positive you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.

Love J and Tray

I smile and I see Misty coming into the kitchen.

“Well that’s something nice to see.” She says.

“Yea. Trace and Justin went to get us something to eat.”

“Oh ok. You were getting ready to make some coffee?” She asks.

“Yea you want some?”

“You know what? Why don’t you sit down and I’ll make it.” Misty suggests.

I sit at the table and wait for the coffee to be done and the guys to get back. I hear the phone ring so I get up to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Anais please tell me you are coming into the office today? Things are a mess here.” I hear my boss say.

I sigh. “I’m not really feeling all that up to it.” I say

“Please Anais just for an hour at least. I really need you here.” She pleads.

I sigh a little more frustrated. “Fine give me about 45 minutes I should be there.” I say then hang up.

“What was that all about?” Misty asks handing me a cup off coffee.

“Jackie needs me to come in for a little while.” I say heading to my room.

“You sure you really feel up to it?” Misty asks following me into the room.

“Not like I have much of a choice now.” I say and close the bathroom door.

********************************************************************************

I open the door and smell coffee so I know the girls are up. Then I hear the TV and I call out for somebody.

“Misty, Anais you guys here?” I ask

Misty comes into the kitchen. “Yea we are. Anais is in the shower. Jackie called her into the office.” Misty says.

“What are you kidding me?” I ask

“Nope. She’s in there getting ready right now.”

I leave Trace and Misty in the kitchen while I go into Anais bedroom. Just as I walked in she was walking out the bathroom in a towel. I had to force myself to stay focused on my reason for coming in here instead of thinking about sex.

“Why are you going into work today?” I ask

“Cuz Jackie says they really need me there and it’s only for an hour. If you’re really that worried you can drive me.” She laughs.

I sit on the bed. “Are you sure you’re really up to this?” I ask

“No, but I already said I would come.” She answers throwing on some sweats.

“Ok fine. But I’m taking you up on that offer to go with you.” I say

She laughs and walks out the room. I get up and follow her. This could possibly be a very long day.

********************************************************************************

I walk into my office and I see exactly what they are talking about as far as things being overly crazy. I know that we have 3 photo shoots coming up that we need to get ready for, but I have never seen things this bad.

“Thank God you’re here!” Jackie says to me.

“Why are things this crazy here?” I ask

“2 of our shoots got moved up so we are scrambling to get things done. I need to make sure you are done with Beyonce’s outfits and Jay-Z.” She states.

“I have them all ready I’ll go get them.” I say walking in the direction of my office with Justin behind me.

“Oh and I also need Chad Michael Murray’s outfits as well.” She yells down the hall.

Justin and I walk in my office and he closes the door behind us.

“I have never seen things that bad.” He says.

 “I know it’s weird.”

After about and hour and 15 minutes of being there I finally had all the outfits together with Justin’s help and we take them down to Jackie’s office.

“Oh thank you Anais you are a doll!!!” She replies.

“No problem. Now I am gonna go back home and get some rest.” I say

As Justin and I are walking back to my car I see a champagne color car pull in. When the person gets out I didn’t even pay attention until they said something.

“Excuse me. Anais is that you?” The person asks.

As I turn around I realize that it’s Devon’s mother.

I really don’t want to have a conversation with his mother. Justin is standing there looking shocked and not sure what he should do. I hate the fact that I knew this was gonna happen. I wonder if he told his parents about what happened.

“Mrs. Stewart I really don’t feel all that well, so I would appreciate it if we could talk some other time.” I say hoping she will let things go.

“Anais I would really like to talk to you. It’s important.” She says looking at me desperately.

I’m thinking to myself why does everyone really feel the need to talk to me. Can’t I just be left alone? I guess not. I mean some people ok I understand the need to want to talk to me, but I want this whole Devon thing to be over. It’s bad enough I’m pregnant with his child. I look over at Justin who is just like it’s on you.

I sigh. “Sure we can go get some coffee so long as my friend comes.” I say.

“I would rather talk to you alone. It’s kinda of personal.” She says.

“Listen Mrs. Stewart, its either talk in front of my friend or don’t talk at all. I say frustrated.

“Ok fine, fine. I don’t want to agree.” She says.

I turn and face Justin. When I look in his eyes he knows that he doesn’t even have to ask I just already know he’s asking me am I sure. I shake my head and he grabs my hand as we head towards Starbucks.

She just can’t catch a break. Poor baby, I want to just scream at this woman to leave her alone. I never got to meet Devon’s parents, but I’m hoping they didn’t raise their son to be such a shit head. I hold on to Anais hand tightly and I can tell she is exhausted. We get a table and I offer to go get everyone’s coffee so they have a moment to talk, but so I could still see them. I open my cell to call Trace and let him know what’s going on.

“What’s up J?”

“Dude we’re gonna be a little while.” I say frustrated.

“Why what’s the problem? Work that bad?” Trace asks.

“Nah. Devon’s mother wants to talk to Anais and she finally agreed to talk to her so long as I was here with them.”

“What is it about that family they just can’t leave that girl alone.” Trace says.

“I have no idea, but I do know that my girl is tired and she needs to eat something. She is wearing herself out.” I say

“Yea man I know. Maybe we should take her on vacation or something.” Trace suggest

“Hey T hang on a sec. Can I have one tall Carmel Frap, a tall Mocha Frap and one tall Vanilla Bean Frap.” I go back to my call with Trace. “Yea man that sounds like a good idea. Any idea on where we could go?” I ask.

“We need to take her some place she can relax not so much party. Maybe we could just go chill out in Florida for a week or so.” Trace says.

 “Yea that sounds like a good idea.” I say as I grab our drinks. “Hey Trace let me talk to you when we get back. I ‘m heading over to the table now.”

“Ok I’ll holla at you later.”

We hang up the phone and I head towards the table. Maybe Trace is right. Maybe if she actually gets away from all this bullshit she can sort out her thoughts.

It’s a good thing that coffee isn’t bad for a baby other wise I would be in trouble. I think I need the energy from the coffee to get me going. We’ve been here for about 10 minutes and already I can tell this conversation is going the same way it went before I told my parents what happened to make me break up with Devon. I see Justin coming back and I’m so grateful.

“Listen Mrs. Stewart I understand you want nothing more than for your son to be happy, but trust me I can’t be happy with him.” I say

“What was so bad that you can’t work it out? Did he cheat?” She asks sounding more and more desperate as the conversation goes on.

“No he didn’t I would probably be able to forgive that. Mrs. Stewart I really think you should talk to Devon and get him to tell you what’s going on." I say

Justin takes a set next to me and hands us our drinks. I can feel Mrs. Stewart eyeing Justin very carefully. I know she wants to ask something, but she’s just not sure how to go about it. Finally I can see in her eyes that she has figured out how to get out what she is thinking.

“Is he the reason why you two can’t be together anymore?” She finally asks.

I look over at Justin and smile. “No he’s not. He is just a really great friend.” I say

I can tell she really doesn’t believe that but I really don’t give a damn. We finally finish talking and head out. I just wanna go home and curl up in the bed right about now. I don’t want to do anything else in the least. I’m ready to lock myself away from the world and never come out. Justin and I get in the car. As we are driving back to my place I am so lost in thoughts that I don’t even notice we have made it back to my place.

“You gonna sit here all day or are you gonna come inside?” Justin asks.

I finally notice we are at my place and I slowly open the car door.

“Anais what did she say to you?”

I look up at Justin. Very rarely does he call me by my name.

“You know the same thing my mother was saying to me before she found out what really happened.” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“So why didn’t you tell her what really happened?” He asks

I sigh. “Justin it’s really not my place to say anything to them. It’s not even my problem to deal with. If he wants to go on letting them believe this is my fault then fine. As long as the people that I care about know the truth I am fine.”

We head up the stairs and to my apartment. As I step inside a rush of depression comes over me and suddenly I just don’t wanna be here anymore. I go into my room and grab my purse and car keys and head back out the door.

“Na where you going?” I hear Trace asks me.

“I really just need to get outta here.” I say on the verge of tears.

I see Justin get up and walk towards me.

“Come on I’ll go with you.” He says as he takes me in his arms

I pull away from him. “No Justin. I need to be alone for a little while. That means no you or Trace following me. Nor do I want either of you to get slick and try and send Misty after me.” I look over at Misty and I can see in her eyes she understands where I am coming from.

“Ok, Ok we got it. You want to be completely alone.” Trace says.

Justin looks a little hurt at that. “You want us to leave?” He asks barely above a whisper.

“Only if you want to. I don’t mind you staying here. I just need to get out of here for a little while. It has nothing to do with any of you. I just have so much on my mind.” I say.

I walk over to Misty and Trace and give them both hugs. Then as I walk up to Justin I can tell he is more and more hurt by the way the day is going. Justin more so than Trace has always wanted to protect me from the world. I give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and I walk out the door.

I can’t believe I had to just do that. Watching her walk out the door knowing that she didn’t want me around. That really hurt. Then again I guess I can understand how she feels when I’m upset and I just want to be left alone. Although maybe just maybe the situations are a little different. Whatever the fact reminds that I just watched my heart walk out the door and I’m standing here looking as though she is never coming back!

“Hey man why don’t we use this time to talk to Misty about were we could take Na.” Trace suggests.

I nod my head and we head in the living room and we all take seats

“So where were you guys thinking of taking her?” Misty asks.

Trace shrugs. “I don’t know. Somewhere she can get her mind off of things and just relax for a little while. She has been under so much stress lately.”

“How about some place tropical?” Misty suggests.

“ That sounds good, but where exactly?” I ask

“Its gotta be some place we all agree on since we are all going.” Trace says.

Misty looks up kinda baffled by that statement. “You guys want me to go as well?” She asks shocked.

“Yea. Why wouldn’t we? We want Anais to have a good time and when the 4 of us are together we have a great time. Besides sometimes she would rather talk with you than horse around with us.” I say

“Are we talking some place she has been before and would like to go again or what?” Misty asks.

“I guess it doesn’t really matter. Just so long as she can relax.” Trace says.

“Well I have been reading about these private villas on the island of St. Thomas. A lot of celebs go there to get away from everyone and everything.” Misty says.

My eyes light up at that idea. No paparazzi, no fans, no Devon, no work, no one to bother her. It’s the perfect trip.

“You know what Misty that sounds like a great idea. I’m gonna make some calls and see what is the soonest we can get out of here.” I say as I grab my phone

“Now what could be making a beautiful girl like yourself cry so hard?” This annoying voice says and I can tell it’s dripping with sarcasm.

“None of your FUCKING BUSSINESS KYLE!!!” I scream at him “I don’t I repeat don’t need your bullshit today!”

“Oh little Miss Feisty are we? Serves you right for breaking up with Devon!” He says almost smugly.

“Don’t you have some frogs you need to be eaten by instead of bugging me?” I say

“You know he’ll take you back if you go crawling back to him.”

At that moment I was beyond pissed. All I really wanted was some time alone and this dumb ass just had to keep pushing me. I got up and as much as the urge was there to hit him. I walked passed him and got in my car. I however made a mental note that the next time Trace was in the vicinity of Kyle I would let him crush Kyle.

It had been a while since I left my apartment and even though I told them I wanted to be alone I knew if I was gone much longer Justin would send out a search party for me. I walked into the door not sure of what to expect. I heard the TV on and headed into the living where I found Misty and Trace watching a movie.

“Where’s J?” I ask

“In your room. Not sure if he’s sleep or not.” Trace says.

“How you doing babe?” Misty asks while engulfing me in a hug.

“I don’t know. I just feel really lost right now.” I say.

“You want anything to eat?” Trace asks

“Yea. I am kinda hungry. Can we order some Italian food?” I ask

“Sure no problem.” Trace says heading toward the kitchen to get the take out menu.

“Let me know when the foods here. I’m going to lay down for a while.” I say heading to my room.

I could tell as soon as I stepped in the room he wasn’t sleep. I crawled in the bed next to him and wrapped my arm around his waist.

“I’m glad you’re in here I feel like cuddling.” I say getting closer to him

I hear him chuckle and he wraps his arm around my back. “You feeling a little better?”

“No not really.” I reply honestly.

“Is there anything you need me to do?” He asks

“Yea just lay here with me for a while.”

“Did you eat anything while you were out?”

“A hotdog. Trace is ordering us some Italian food so I will eat something more filling when it gets here.”

 “We need to talk about something.” He says and it makes me a little nervous.

I move my head to look at him and he opens his eyes to stare at me for a second.

“Trace, Misty and I were talking and we think it’s a good idea that you get away for a little while. You have been dealing with so much shit over the last month and a half. So I booked us a Villa on the Island of St. Thomas and we can leave as soon as tomorrow if you wanted to.” He states.

I am completely speechless. I can’t believe they thought to do something like that for me. Getting away is exactly what I needed and wanted. I know for sure I could get the time off from work. So the only thing I could think to say was.

“Can we maybe leave tonight instead?”

I would do anything for her and that includes making sure we could leave when she wanted to. After the food arrived I told Trace and Misty that Anais wanted to leave that night and gave them the option of going with us or meeting us out there. Of course seeing as how we all decided on this trip we were all going to make it that night.  We’re in the night sky and I’m watching Anais look out the window. I can tell she’s in lala land, but I’m not sure if she is really thinking on one particular thought.

“Clear skies tonight.” I say

She doesn’t turn away from the window but simply smiles. “Yea it is. I like being on planes at night rather than the day.” She laughs.

“Yea it’s been like that since we were younger. You also always had to have the window seat.” I laugh

She finally looks at me at me and rolls her eyes. “Whatever punk!”

“You know I think you are becoming a little to happy calling me a punk.” I say.

“Yea well if the shoe fits.” She says while looking at me.

I can’t even say anything at the moment. As I’m looking in her eyes I realize it’s the 1st time in a few days that her eyes aren’t sad. I hope this is the start of her feeling better. Seeing as we are on a private jet Trace and Misty are in the back watching a movie. I honestly believe they are gonna end up together, but hey what do I know. I break my stare with Anais when I hear Misty walk in.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?”  She asks.

“Nope nothing at all.” I say facing her.

“Trace and I were just wondering if you guys wanted to watch a movie or something.”

I look over at Anais to see what she wants to do.

 “I don’t know. I’m really not into watching a movie right now. I kinda just wanna sit here and look out the window.” Anais replies.

“That’s cool. Well if you change your mind you know where we are.” She says walking back into the back room.

“You could have gone to watch the movie if you wanted to.” She says turning back to face the window.

“I know what I could have done, but I would rather stay here with you.”

********************************************************************************

He is just too sweet. He wants to make sure I am more than okay and I’m not sure when that is gonna happen. I can’t believe that my friends cared enough to come up with this whole idea to take me away to some island. To be honest it sounds wonderful and I can’t wait to get there. I have him here alone with me and the thought is entering my mind to just come out and say how I feel even though it probably won’t change a thing. Just as I am about to say something I hear the pilots voice come over the intercom telling us that we are about to land. Maybe this is a sign that I’m not supposed to say anything.

“I can’t believe we are almost there already. Seems like we just left LA.” I say

“Yea you know time flies when you aren’t paying attention to it.” Justin laughs.

I sigh. “Yea I guess that’s true.”

I continue to stare out the window just thinking why is this happening to me. I guess maybe its cause I was to scared to tell Justin how I was feeling. I'm thinking about telling him while we are on this trip. I know once we get there I am gonna wanna be all up under him and I'm going to want him to stay in a room with me, and if I'm not careful I just might try to make love to him. I hear Trace saying something and it tears me from my thoughts.

"Did I ever tell you that you think to hard?" He asks me. I notice that Justin is gone and Trace is now occupying his seat. I smile at him.

"Yea you use to tell me that all the time while we were in high school. Although I don't recall you complaining about it so much when you needed to copy my homework." I laugh.

"But see back then it was needed, now you're just stressing yourself out and you're way to fine for that!" He says rubbing my hand.

I smile at him as I think of a way to change the subject that doesn't involve Justin or I or the current situation I am in.

"So what's the story with you and Byrne? You guys cool or what?

He looks at me and kinda smiles. “Well Byrne and I broke up last week.”

“WHAT???!! Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask shocked that he let this kind of information go past me.

“Well at the time you were just getting back into the swing of being back to work so I figured I would tell you later.” He says shrugging it off.

“Was it bad?” I find myself asking. I know I wasn’t real real close to Byrne but I would hate to see her hurt.

“Nah it was all good. I think we both started realizing things had changed a lot and we were becoming more of friends than anything.”

I laugh. “I guess this must be the season for breaking up huh?

“Must be!” Trace jokes back

Soon the pilot informs us that we are about to land soon so to fasten our seat belts. I’m so glad to be away from everything. I feel as though ever since I found out I’m pregnant everybody wants to stress me out. Why is that? It’s as though they know. They want me to be stressed and lose it. I shouldn’t think like that. I should be positive. I’m here with my three best friends. Everything is going to be ok.

********************************************************************************

She looks a little scared. I don’t think I have ever seen her look this scared before. Trace glances over at her and then looks to me. I can tell he is thinking the same thing I am. I don’t want her to be scared. I want to run to her and hold her and let her know that everything is going to be all right, but I can’t do it at this very moment.

“She looks like she is going to be sick.” Misty says

“I hope not.” I say still staring at Anais.

“Stop staring at me I am fine.” She says not even bothering to make eyes contact with us. “I just got a little nauseous, but I’m fine now so stop worrying and stop staring like I am some freak show.”

I feel the turbulence from us landing and I’m really trying hard not to look over at Anais. I know she is starting to get into one of her moods. I hate when that happens cuz then she wants to snap at the world. I’m not sure if it’s cuz of the baby or if she is really still thinking hard about what’s going on in her life.

Once we land Anais sits there for what seems like an eternity. She looks up at me and shakes her head at me as if to tell me just go ahead. I need a second. I haven’t seen her freaked out over a plan ride since we were 10. I slowly make my way off the plan to see Misty and Trace waiting for us.

“Where’s Na at?” Trace asks.

“She needed a minute so I left her on the plan.” I say

“Is she ok?” Misty asks.

“She will be. I think everything is just really overwhelming to her right now. She just needs a few minutes to relax.” I say.

It feels as though I am saying this to convince my self more than actually feeling it to be true. It’s fine though I have to believe that deep down in my heart that Anais is going to be fine. Just as I am turning back around to pick up my bags I see Anais coming off the plan. I want to rush over to her and make sure she is ok, but I don’t want her to get angry.

“J I wanna lay down.” I hear her say.

I reach out to her and wrap her in my arms. “You ok Snggus?”

“I just feel really tired and all I want to do right now is curl up and go to sleep.” She says.

We walk to the car and make the ride to the private villa that I rented out for us to use. It has 3 bedrooms. I know that Trace and I are gonna want to have our own rooms, but I figured Anais may need to talk to Misty sometime and would want her around. I can’t say that I don’t wish it would be me that was laying next to her but hey just as long as I can be there for her.

About 20 minutes later we pull up to the villa and start unloading bags. I ask Misty to take Anais to lie down and Trace and I will bring in the bags. While Trace and I are taking the bags in I hear him ask me something but I can’t really make out what he said.

“What did you say?” I ask as I sit the bags down.

“I asked if you think the baby is what is making her sick?” Trace asks again.

“I’m not sure. I mean I’ve never been around a pregnant woman before. Not even Kelly when she was having Brianna. So I can’t really say. I mean I’m guessing that could be it.”

“I hate to see her so out of it.” Trace says.

I sigh.  “I know what you mean.”

We get settled in and I see Misty come out into the living room. “This place is beautiful J.” She says in awe.

“I’m glad you like it. Where is Anais at?” I ask

“Oh she’s laying down. Which reminds me. I came out here to tell Trace that Anais wants to talk to you.”

Trace looks a little bewildered by this. I mean it’s not that she doesn’t call on Trace or anything it’s just that she usually calls on me more. I’m not bothered by it though and I watch Trace walk in the room hoping that my Snuggle bear is ok.

********************************************************************************

I feel so weak and I know I need to rest cuz I didn’t get any sleep last night nor did I get any sleep on the plane ride here. I just wanted to lie down for a while maybe even take a nap. However I don’t want everybody cooped up in this beautiful place cause they are so worried about me. So I figure I could talk to Trace. I know that Trace has the power to make Justin go out if just for a little while. I would have asked Misty but Justin would talk her into letting him stay and that’s not what I want. I see Trace walk in.

“What’s up Na?” He asks walking over to the bed.

I smile. “I need you to do me a favor.”

“For you. Anything. What do you need?”

“I know this is going to be hard, but I need you and Misty to take Justin out for a little while. I just want to be alone and try to get some sleep. I know if he is here he will be hovering over me.”

Trace laughs a little. “I guess we could go grab something to eat and then we could get you something and bring it back that way you can eat when you wake up.” He suggests.

“That sounds great.” I say as I sit up and hug Trace. “Thank you so much.”

“You know you don’t have to thank me so stop it. But I’m gonna go and do the hard task of getting him outta here so you can have some time.” He says with a smile and walks out.

I lay there for a little while. I can hear Justin putting up a fight, but Trace won’t let him win and after a little while I hear Justin sigh in defeat. Once they leave I am left to think on my own with out anyone asking any questions and I find that my eyes are getting heavy and sleep overtakes me.

I can’t believe she didn’t want me to stay. Then again maybe I can believe it. Trace told me once we got to the restaurant that Anais said she didn’t want me hovering over her while she was trying to sleep and even though I would have said I wouldn’t do that I know I would have been right by here side. We all settle into a nice conversation about random stuff when my cell phone rings. I excuse myself to go answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey J it’s Jc. What’s going on man? I got your message to call.”

“Yea I just wanted you and the guys to know that I wasn’t trying to bail on you I just had to get Anais away for a little while.” I say

“Is she ok?” Jc asks.

“I’m not sure. I mean she is having some issues right now, but you know I can’t get into that with you.” I say.

“I understand. Listen take care of what you need to and just let us know when you can get back here.” I hear him say.

“Thanks man. I knew you would understand.” I say relived.

“No problem J. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yea later man.” I say and then hang up the phone.

Anais is really cool with the guys. She even got to come on tour with us a few times, but I know that she wouldn’t feel right about them knowing something so personal. So I figured the best thing to do was to just talk to Jc cuz he would understand. I make my way back to the table just as our food is arriving.

“Do you guys have any idea what Anais might eat?” I hear Misty ask.

“I don’t have a clue. You think it’s to early for her to have cravings?” Trace asks?

I look at him and laugh.  “I hope you’re not asking me cuz we had this talk early.”

“What talk?” Misty asks.

“The one about how we know nothing about what pregnant woman want cuz we have never been around them.” I say

“That makes sense. But just to be on the safe side why don’t we get her one of those huge Cobb salads.” Misty suggests.

“You know that sounds like a good idea.” Trace says.

We continue eating and grab Anais a salad to go. I can’t wait to get back to the house and see her. I hope she rested well and that she is starting to feel a little bit better. As I said before I hope this trip does her some good.

*****************************************************************************

I think I slept for a good three hours. I honestly needed it and now that I was able to rest I wanna take a shower. I don’t know if everybody has come back yet. I make a mental note to go check when I get out of the shower. After I have gotten all fresh and clean I head out to the living room.  I don’t see anybody but I do hear voices. I follow the sound of them until I see them sitting on the back patio.

“You guys sound like you’re having a great time.” I say as I take a seat next to Trace.

“Hey sleepy head you finally decided to wake up and join us.” Trace says in a joking tone.

 I laugh a little. “So what did you guys do?”

“We went to this nice little restaurant down the rode. We had a nice talk did a little bit of site seeing on the way back and then came and chilled out here.” Misty answered.

“That sounds cool. So what did you guys bring me back to eat?” I asked.

Justin got up and headed into the kitchen to grab whatever it is they brought me and then handed it to me.

“MMM Cobb salad. You guys know me to well.” I laugh

“Justin I was looking around the villa and I noticed there were only three bedrooms. What’s up with that?” Misty asked

“Well I knew Trace and I wouldn’t want to share a room so that’s two and I thought Anais would want to talk 2 you in the middle of the night or something so you and she could share a room.” Justin explained.

I looked up kinda surprised. I wasn’t expecting that one. I clear my throat a little “Well I was kinda hoping that you would share a room with me J. I mean if you don’t mind Misty. I didn’t realize there where only three bedrooms.”

“Girl please don’t even worry about it. I’m sure J doesn’t have a problem switching rooms with me? Do ya J?” Misty asks.

“If that’s what Anais wants it’s cool with me.” Justin looks over at me and gives me a warm smile.

I finish my salad and we all head to our rooms to settle in. Actually Justin won’t let me really do anything but sit on the bed and he is putting up everything. It’s kinda cute though. It almost reminds me of the night I stayed at his house after the Britney Cameron blow up. I’m sitting Indian style on the bed in some pajama bottoms and a girly tank top. I laugh a little to myself.

“What’s so funny?” I hear Justin ask.

“Nothing much. I was just thinking about that night I stayed at your house after I had to come and defuse the whole Britney Cameron time bomb.” I say still laughing a little.

“Oh yea I remember that. I was a little pissed at Trace that night for calling you.”

“Yea but he was right. If he hadn’t called you would have been there with them all night.” I say.

“Nah I would have grown the balls to tell them to get out.” He says.

“Yea whatever.” I say rolling my eyes.

The room is silent for a little while until I hear Justin’s voice break it.

“Not that I am complaining or anything, but why did you want to share a room with me?” He asks.

 I look over at him and smile. “Cuz you make me feel safe when I’m in your arms.”

And with that I went into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

******************************************************************************

Wow she kinda left me stunned with that one. You never expect something like that. I get up to follow her into the kitchen and her back is to me.

“So how long have you felt like that?” I ask

I watch her turn around and smile at me. “As long as I have.” She laughs.

I walk up to her and put my arms around her waist. “Oh you got big jokes Ms. Taylor.”

“I just like you being near me. I don’t know why. You snore.” She laughs.

“I do not snore!” I say in my defense.

“How do you know what you do? You’re sleeping.”

“Ok Anais.” I say as I let her go and start to walk away.

I hear her giggle. “I love messing with you even more.” She says.

I turn back around. “Say I don’t snore.” I reply.

“I will not lie to you Justin. But I will say you don’t snore when I sleep with you.” She replies.

“How are you gonna say I snore, but I don’t snore when I sleep with you?” I ask

“Maybe you know I’m sleeping next to you and your brain knows that I would hit you if you’re snoring all in my ear!” She laughs even harder and I’m so glad to see that smile on her face.

“Ok I guess I could go with that. You wanna go watch a movie?” I ask

“Sure how about you go pick a movie and I’ll go see if Trace and Misty wanna join us.” She says.

“Sounds good to me.” I say as she walks up the stairs and I walk toward the living room.

After I set up the movie and get us all something to drink and some popcorn I see Anais come back downstairs laughing a little.

“What’s your deal Snuggs? Where are Trace and Misty?” I ask leaning over the back of the couch.

“I think we’re gonna be on our own with this movie.” She continues to laugh.

“What’s going on Anais?” I ask.

“Lets just say they are a little busy at the moment.” She laughs.

My eyes get a little big. “Are you serious? They’re not!” I laugh

“Oh on the contrary Mr. Timberlake they are.” She laughs while sitting next to me.

I just shake my head and put my arm around her shoulder as we cuddle up and start to watch Bad Boys. A few hours later we had just finished watching Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2 when we hear a bedroom door open. We turn to see Trace walking down the stairs in his boxers. When he notices us sitting on the couch he just smiles and precedes to walk in the kitchen.

“You think we should say anything to him?” Anais asks.

“Nah let him come to us. You know we all talk about everything.” I say.

She kinda curls up into a little ball. “We don’t tell each other everything.”

Before I can ask her what she is talking about Trace returns in the room with a bottle of water. He sits down in a chair and looks at us.

“Am I interrupting you two?” Trace asks.

“Nope we were actually talking about you and what you were gonna tell us.” Anais laughs.

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

“Oh don’t play all innocent.” I say

“I have no idea what either of you is talking about.” Trace says

We both laugh and Anais begins to speak 1st. “Ok where is my very good friend Misty at?” Anais asks.

“Sleep.” Trace replies simply.

“And the fact that you know she is sleep says a lot Mr. Ayala.” I say.

“I am not gonna sit here and be integrated by my friends.” Trace says while getting up to head back upstairs.

“Ok but we know you were upstairs getting busy with Misty.” I say

Trace just laughs and we are left alone again. I watch as Anais gets up and stretches. “I’m gonna go back into the room. You coming?” She asks.

“Yea I’ll be there in a minute.” I answer.

I really want to go and find out exactly what it is she feels I haven’t told her.

*******************************************************************************

I know he is going to come in here and start asking me questions about what I was talking about before Trace came into the room. I don’t mind and even if me asking causes some other things to come out I am prepared for it. I hear him enter the bedroom and I smile a little.

“You look so adorable.” He says with a warm smile.

I smile in return.

“So you gonna tell me now what you were talking about before Trace came downstairs?” He asks me. I smile even more and hold my head down in laughter. What did I tell ya?

I look back at him. “What happened between you and Veronica? I mean what did you guys fight about before you broke up.” I ask

I watch him take a deep breath and scratch the back of his neck, which means he is getting nervous.

“Well… Anais I’m not sure how I should go about explaining this.” He says more nervously than he looks.

“It’s me Justin. You’ve always been able to tell me anything.” I say

He takes another deep breath and looks deep into my eyes. “I was having sex with Veronica and I called out your name.” He says

I’m in a state of shock. I don’t really know what to say to him and now I can understand why he didn’t want to say anything before. How am I supposed to react to this kind of information? Should I be happy? Does this mean he does have some type of feelings for me?

I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. “How did you mange to do that?” I ask still stunned.

I see him inching closer to me and the next thing I know I feel his lips on my neck. “Cuz I was thinking about you.” He whispers.

“Why?” I ask

“Cuz I love you Anais.” He says pulling back to look deep into my eyes.

My eyes widen some. Did he really just say what I think he said to me? Of course he loves me. He has always loved me, but does he really mean it the way I am hoping?

“What did you just say?” I ask still not really able to comprehend what he is telling me.

He takes my hands in his and looks really deep in my eyes. Like he is trying to reach my soul. “I love you Anais. I don’t mean I just love you, I mean I’m in love with you and I have been for a while.”

Just as I am about to speak we both hear a loud thud outside our window. Justin looks at me and puts his finger to his lips. We both quietly stand up and walk out the room. We see Trace and Misty walking down the steps looking just as confused as Justin and I are.

“You girls stay right here. Don’t move u hear me?” Justin tells us as he and Trace head to the door.

“What if there is some crazy person out there? What if it’s more than one person? Just call the police Justin!” I say in a low whisper.

“We’ll be fine. If you hear screaming just lock the door and call the police ok?” He orders and I know there is really no way I am going to win this argument.

Misty and I watch as they head out the door with a bat and golf club in their hand. I hear some ruffling and I hear a load groan and a thud on the ground before I hear Trace’s voice.

“You have got to be shittin me!” he says.

Justin appears in the doorway. “Call 911 and tell them we need a paramedic and a squad car.” He orders.

“Who is it?” I ask as Misty goes to the phone.

“Who else. The paparazzi.” He answers.

Why the fuck can’t I just go and have a peaceful vacation without any problems? On top of that I just finally told Anais how I feel! Now I have to deal with this shit. How the hell did they find us out here anyway? Trace and I stand outside watching this guy wince in pain. If you want my opinion the asshole deserves it.

“So what magazine do you work for?” Trace asks

“You don’t worry about who I work for!” The man yells.

Trace looks over at me and I know he has the same thought I do. A little confusion along with growing anger. When the hell did paparazzi get so flip? I mean damn they are looking for us not the other way around.

“Dude look I’m really tired and I don’t have time for this shit. What magazine are you taking the pictures for?” I ask just as annoyed, as Trace was when he asked.

 “I don’t work for a magazine. Nor am I one of those paparazzi fuckers.” I watch him try to get up and leave but that only goes so far when he realizes that he is in more pain than he thought.

“AH FUCK!” He yells

Soon the police arrive and it’s nice to know that on this island they send cops in a hurry. Trace explains to the officer what happened as I go in and check on the girls. As I walk in I see Anais curled up on the couch while Misty is sitting in a chair. When they finally notice I have come in the house they bombarded me with questions.

“What happened out there?” Misty asks.

“Other than the fact that the stalkerazzi are following us.” Anais adds with an eye roll.

“I’m not sure what this guys deal is. He says that he doesn’t work for any magazine. But the police are outside with him. I’m sure we will get to the bottom of this soon enough.” I say sitting down for a moment.

Anais lays her head on my shoulder and just for a second I forget that everything is happening until I hear Trace come in with one of the officers. We all look as Trace starts talking.

“Hey guys this is officer Davis he needs to ask us a few questions. I figured it would be easier to just talk to everybody at the same time.”

We all settle down and start talking.

“Well first off I do want to confirm that this guy is not a paparazzi.” We all look a little confused about this but the officer continues. “He is a private eye and it looks as if he has been hired to follow one of you. I’m not sure whom though. We won’t know any of that until after the pictures are developed.”

We talk a little while longer and then the place is cleared out once again. I look over at Anais who just looks so worn out.  “Hey you. You want to go to bed?” I ask

“I just want to be in peace.” She says as she walks to the bedroom.

I sigh to myself. So much for this being a relaxing trip.

********************************************************************************

It never ceases to amaze me the fact that whenever Justin tries to have some kind of normal life something always happens to get in the way of that. I know I shouldn’t be so mean about the whole thing. Even though this trip was suppose to be so that I could relax and there very well could be someone following us because they want to know what one of us is up to. What if they were following me? My thoughts were interrupted by Justin coming in the room.

“Hey I’m so sorry this happened.” He says to me.

I smile at him. “This isn’t your fault so don’t even apologize for it. You sure you’re alright?” I ask

“Yea I’m good, the question is are you ok?”

I sit down on the bed and sigh. “I’m fine. This is one hell of a way to start off a vacation.”

“Tell me about it, but listen I am gonna go ahead and let you have sometime to yourself cuz as you just stated you want some peace.” He laughs.

I watch Justin get up and walk out the room. I knew already that he was going to be uncomfortable considering our conversation was cut short. Jezz I can’t believe he is actually in love with me. All these different thoughts are circling around in my head and I just wish he would have told me that before I was with Devon. Suddenly I feel very sick and I run to the bathroom. I almost forgot that I’m pregnant.

********************************************************************************

Shit, Fuck and Damn. Of all the times for this shit to be happening it wants to happen now.  Right while I am in the middle of telling her how I feel. She is probably so freaked now that she won’t ever talk to me again. At least before the whole thing with the paparazzi happen I could have tried to smooth things over, but not now. There is such an uncomfortable ness between us. I felt it when I went in the room to make sure she was ok. I feel someone walk up behind me.

“Yo dude you ok?” I watch as Trace slides in the chair across from me.

“No. I think I just made one of the stupidest mistakes in my life.” I say

Trace looks at me a bit confused. “Why do you say that?”

“I just told Anais how I feel about her. I mean REALLY told her how I feel.” I say

“Dude you told her you love her and all that shit?” Trace asked with a shocked expression.

“I thought it would be good. We were having a nice conversation. I told her all about what happened between Veronica and me. It just all started following.”

“Well what did she say?” He asks me anticipating my answer.

“She didn’t get the chance to say anything. That fucker was outside our window.” I say bitterly.

“Damn man that sucks. So now all her attention is on the fact that some asshole was following us.”

“Exactly!” I say

I’m just so tired of all of the drama. I wanted to come out here to this really beautiful island. Spend some time with my friends. Maybe even do what I did and tell Anais how I feel. But now it seems this whole trip has been shot to hell. Why me?

********************************************************************************

3weeks later.

So here I am back to the world of work and stress. Well I shouldn’t even say it like that. My job isn’t what’s stressing me out. It’s the fact that the day we left the island to come home I found out that Devon was behind the mystery man that showed up at the villa. Why does my life have to be so complicated? Interestingly enough as soon as I got back I found out that I would be working with Justin for the next month. So here we are me, him, and Trace going over wardrobe ideas for the many shoots he is doing.

“Man Anais you know he would look so gay in that!” Trace exclaims.

“It’s not gay looking! The first video version of  “I want you back” now that was gay!” I laugh as I try putting some other outfits together.

“How about we just let me decided what I think would look good based on the selections the lovely Ms. Taylor has to offer.” Justin throws in.

I just simply roll my eyes and get up to look for another picture. Suddenly the gagging feeling hits me and I know that I need to get to the bathroom. I’m so sick of throwing up! When I come back into the office Trace and Justin are giving me the most sympathetic looks.

“Hey sweetie you ok?” Trace asks.

“I would be a whole hella of a lot better if I wasn’t throwing up 4 times a day!” I say frustrated.

“You need us to get you anything?” Justin asks.

“Nah I’m good. I just need a little water and I already have that. Stop worrying so much. It’s not like you don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I laugh.

They both look a little uneasy. “Listen if you guys are gonna get all uptight on me then you gotta go.” I state.

Just before they get to answer me Misty walks into the office.

“Girl you will not believe who is here to see you!” She says

“Who?”

“It’s Devon.” Was all she said.

Fuck I don’t need this shit right now. The last time I saw him my dad and Justin were ready to kill him. Unfortunately I didn’t react to that news as quickly as Justin did. Before I had a chance to do or say anything he was out the office door. When I finally did realize this I went running after.

“J please let’s not cause a scene.” I say running after him

“I’m not gonna cause a scene. I’m just gonna tell him where he can go!”

“Justin no, you don’t need to say anything to him.”

On top of everything else that Devon has done the sending the PI to follow me did not help matters. I look back at Trace who is rushing up to the side of us just as we reach the waiting area.

“Dude just let Na handle this.” Trace says trying to bring Justin down.

Justin glared at him before walking straight up to Devon. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He growled.

Devon looked over at me. “Anais, would you please call your guard dog off.” He said calmly.

“Justin, please just… Just go back to my office and wait for me.” I sigh

“Hell naw! There is no way in hell I am leaving you alone with him!” He says

I know most of the people in the office are looking at us and really I don’t need anyone else in my business. I try and think quickly. “Look we can all go back to my office and talk rationally, please you guys are causing an unnecessary scene.” I say

Thankfully I didn’t have any objections and we headed back down the hall. As soon as I closed the door Devon started talking.

“I think we need to discuss what we plan to do about our baby.”

I stood there stunned for a moment. “What are you talking about?” I stammered.

“I know your pregnant Anais. Unless you wanna tell me you were cheating on me while we were together.” He stated more than asked.

“No I didn’t cheat!” I say

“Well then the baby you’re carrying is mine, correct?” He asked.

How in the hell did he find out about the baby? I haven’t told anyone other than the three other people standing in this room and I know and trust them enough to know that they wouldn’t dare say anything to Devon about it. Seeing me very dazed and confused, Devon seemed to read my mind.

“I paid good money for that PI.” Was all he said.

“I can’t believe that you had some one following me! How low can you be?” I say disgusted with the whole thing.

“Oh you mean how low can you be? Why didn’t you tell me about it Anais? What your little pop star guard dog didn’t think it would be a good idea?”

“You know what? Fuck you Devon. You know damn well why I didn’t say anything about it to you. What the hell do I look like? You hit me and expect for me to forgive you and say oh I wanna be with you, we’re having a baby? Dream on!”

“AS LONG AS YOU HAVE MY CHILD YOU WILL BE WITH ME!” He screamed.

Trace stepped in between us and faced Devon. “Dude you need to clam the fuck down and stop yelling at her. That’s first; second you don’t demand shit like that from her. IF she decides to have the baby I’m sure she will arrange something with you so that you can see your child but she does not HAVE to be with you!”

“You know what? I refuse to talk to you about this anymore in front of your little bodyguards. So when you have the time we can talk alone.” Devon says walking toward the door.

“Well then I guess you won’t be talking to her then huh?” Justin laughs.

“Nobody asked you shit Timberfuck!” Devon yells.

As soon as the words leave his lips Justin has already swung. I knew it was coming and I really just wanted to avoid it all. Trace is trying to break them up and Misty has called security. I know it was probably a bad idea to do this but I tired to help Trace get them off of each other. I’m not sure how it happened but I was elbowed in the side and then as fate might have it I tripped over them and my stomach hit a chair as they moved over some. I vaguely remember hearing Misty scream and telling someone to call 911 before everything went black.

Thank God they separated us cause truth be told I was gonna rip him apart. Granted I will say this, it wasn't entirely his fault that Anais was in here but he was very much to blame for it. Fuck I can’t believe this shit is happening and lets be real here I would lose my mind if she weren’t ok. Trace is sitting next to me and I can tell he is on edge. Misty quickly approaches us.

“I tired to get some information but they just kept telling me when they know something they will let us know. I hate waiting though.” She said while taking a sit next to Trace.

She and Trace finally stopped faking the funk and went ahead and got together. I wish it would have been that simple for Anais and I.

“J I’m sure she will be fine. She is a fighter. Always has been always will be. You don’t need to be this worried about her.” Trace says trying to keep me from losing all control.

“I just feel so horrible about what happened. I mean Trace I am partly to blame for the fact that she hit her head and there could be something wrong with the baby. There was blood when they lifted her into the stretcher.” I felt the tears brimming at my eyes. All I wanted was for her to be ok.

Trace puts a hand on my shoulder to let me know it will be ok. It’s kind of our silent thing. Really there was nothing else he could say to me about anything. I just needed to see Anais and know that she was ok. I started wiping my eyes when I saw the doctor walking towards us. I quickly got up and met him half way.

“Are you all here for Anais Taylor?” The doctor asked

“Yes we are.” I answered.

“What is your relationship to Ms. Taylor?”

I wasn’t sure of what to say but I knew if I said a friend then they might not let me back to see her nor would they tell me anything about how she was. So I said the first thing that popped into my head.

“I’m her boyfriend and this is my brother and his girlfriend.” I answered.

“Ok, well Ms. Taylor did suffer a mild concussion  and…”

I noticed the doctor started to trail off some and I start to get nervous. “What’s wrong? Is she ok?” I asked in a panicked tone.

“I’m sorry. I think you should talk to your girlfriend about her other injuries.” The doctor said slowly.

I wasn’t sure what to think but I asked if we could go in and see her. The doctor informed me that we could only go one at a time so Trace and Misty decided I should go in first. I slowly made my way down to Anais room; scared of what I might see when I walked in. I opened the door slowly and was relived to see that she was lying in bed without tubes sticking all out of her. I noticed that she looked like she was in a some what sleep state. I couldn’t tell cuz of the way she was breathing. I quietly sat down next to her bed.

I guess she heard me sit down cuz her eyes slowly opened and she turned her head to face me. I could see that she looked like she wanted to cry but wasn’t sure how. I had never seen her like this before. She looked so lost. I wasn’t sure of what to say to her. I guess in some ways it was lucky for me she spoke first.

“Hi.” She said softly

“How you feeling?” I asked while grabbing her hand.

She sighed deeply. “J I lost the baby.” She stated quietly.

I was in a little bit of shock. What do you say after that? I mean I don’t know if she was gonna even keep the baby. “I’m sorry Snuggles.” I feel so bad. I mean part of this is my fault.

As if reading my mind she responded. “I wasn’t supposed to have the baby Justin. Other wise this wouldn’t have happened. It’s no ones fault not even the ass holes.” She said rubbing my hand.

“I just feel….” She cut me off by putting her hand over my mouth.

“Don’t you dare go their Justin. I will be fine. Besides I don’t really wanna talk about it.” She says while focusing her attention on her other hand. I can tell she is uncomfortable so I respect her wishes.

“Ok so you’re suppose to be telling me how you feel.” I say

She laughs a little. “I have a headache if you must know.”

“You want me to tell them to get you some aspirin?” I ask

“They already gave me something. I just have to wait for it to kick in.” She smiled.

“Ok well before the drugs take you over let me let Misty and Trace come in and see you.” I say as I head toward the door.

“Justin thank you for just being here.”

“You never have to thank me for that. I will always be here.” I say as I walk out the door.

I’m not sure how I feel about losing the baby. I don’t wanna say that I’m happy cause that would be so wrong wouldn’t it? I mean on the one hand I’m so glad that I don’t really have to put up with Devon anymore cause there is nothing holding us together. On the other hand there was something very precious growing inside of me and now it’s gone. My thoughts are interrupted as I see Misty walk in.

“Oh hun are you ok?” She asks rushing to my bedside.

“I have a killer headache.” I say while rubbing my head.

“I can imagine. You hit your head pretty hard.” She said laughing uncomfortably.

“Justin told you?” I asked.

She looked up at me with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry hun.” Was all she could get out.

“Oh please don’t start crying Mist. I’m ok. Just lets not talk about it right now please.”

“What ever you want.” She said

I laid there and talked to Misty a while longer before Trace came in and made me laugh. I knew Justin would talk to him and let him know that I wasn’t ready to talk about anything. After a while I found myself getting sleepy and everyone left so I could get some sleep. I’m not sure how long I was sleep before I was awaken by Devon.

“I guess you have to be famous to get back here huh?” He asks as I open my eyes.

I sit up in my bed. “I’m not in the mood for this Devon.”

“I just wanted to make sure you and the baby were ok.” He said.

I could feel my anger boiling over. If he had just left me alone like I asked I wouldn’t even be here. It suddenly hit me that I was very angry with him for this whole mess.

“THERE IS NO BABY! I LOST IT!” I said almost coming to tears.

I watched him take a deep breath before he got up and started walking to the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

He didn’t answer me he just walked out the door.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with myself. I didn't know if I wanted to be alone or if I wanted people around me. I didn't know if I wanted to be in my house or ride around in my truck. So many things were going through my head. I finally decide that I am gonna just chill at my house that way I won't get into any trouble and further more Misty and Trace could hang with me here. I believe a big part of me wants to be at the hospital, but I know it's better I stay here.

"Hey Justin you want me to order a pizza or something?" Trace asks me.

But before I have the chance to answer Misty comes into the living room to speak.

"We eat out to much lately. Justin is there any chicken here?" She asks me.

"Anything that I have is in my freezer and fridge so your guess is as good as mine." I laugh.

She goes into the kitchen to check on things and informs Trace and I that she will be making dinner. I look a little worried and I whisper to Trace.

"Can she really cook?"

"Yea dude you're safe. She won't burn the house down and she can really cook."

I breathe a sigh of relief. There are very few women I know that can cook and most of them are from Tennessee. While we are sitting in the living room waiting for Misty to finish cooking dinner I hear a loud bang at my front door before the door is shot in. I hear Misty scream and Trace runs to the kitchen to check on her.

"Where the fuck are you Timberfuck!!" I hear Devon's angry voice yell.

As I am walking to my front door I start to yell back. "How the fuck did you..." My sentence falls short when I realize he is holding a gun.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU KILLED MY CHILD!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE." He yells.

"Justin you ok?" I hear Trace ask.

"Just keep Misty in the kitchen." I say. If anything I want to make sure she and Trace are ok. "Dude listen just put the gun down and we can talk about this." I say as calmly as possible.

"FUCK YOU JUSTIN! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND YOU KNOW IT. YOU NEED TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO THEM."

I watch as he raises the gun at me and he shoots. I quickly get out of the way of the bullet and take cover behind a wall. I hear Misty scream again and Trace ask what the hell is going on.

"Trace call the cops." I yell.

"THERE IS NO NEED TO CALL THEM. YOU WON'T BE ALIVE TO TALK TO THEM."

"Devon all of this is really not necessary. We can talk about this like two grown adults." I say. Still trying to dodge the bullets that are flying threw my house.

Soon I hear the bullets stop as he is still pulling the trigger. I slowly make my way out as I see him loading the gun up again. I quickly run over to him with the intention of getting the gun away from him but he loaded up to quick. Damn he must practice a lot.

"Dude this really isn't the answer." I say

"IT IS THE ANSWER A LIFE FOR A LIFE." He screams.

I go to reach for the gun and he holds it up to shot at me. So I back up. "Whoa Devon you don't want to do this. Then you really will be without Anais." I say calmly

"You are not allowed to say her name to me." He growls, but I can tell he is really thinking about what I am saying to him.

Once again I go to reach for the gun and his reaction time to this is a little bit slower and of course we end up tussling over the gun. All I remember after that is the sound of the gun going off and Misty screaming one last time.

Fuck I hate feeling this restless and worried. I keep tossing and turning like no tomorrow. Something just isn’t right and I can’t place my finger on it. I mean sure I don’t like staying in the hospital then again who does? However something in the pit of my stomach it screaming at me something isn’t right. So I figure maybe I can watch a little TV get it to lull me into sleep.

It’s kinda late here so I opt for watching the news. As I turn it on the news has some kind of breaking story. I’m not sure why but my face creases in confusion cuz it seems like I know were the news crew is. As the reporter on TV starts talking I realize she is right in front of Justin’s house and panic starts to rise in me. What the hell is going on? I turn up the volume to find out why they are there.

“The police arrived about 20 minutes ago responding to a 911 call about an intruder who was shooting inside Mr. Timberlake’s home. Details are kinda of sketchy at the moment, but we will report more to you when it becomes available.”

With that said I lose my mind I can’t form a single thought other than Justin and the rest of my friends being ok. OMG what the hell is happening? I quickly grab the phone next to my bed and began frantically dialing numbers. The first number I call is Justin’s. Well that was a no brainier right? When he doesn’t answer I feel the tears stinging at my eyes. So I dial the next number implanted in my brain and just as I give up hope that he is gonna answer I hear a weak voice answer.

“Hello?” They say and I can tell it’s a female voice.

“Misty is that you? Mist what’s going on?” I ask in a frantic tone.

I hear her sniffling and crying. Oh please don’t let anything have happened to Trace or Justin. I don’t know what I would do! “Misty please tell me what’s going on!” I yell.

“Dev...Dev….” She starts to cry again and her voice was shaky when she started.

“Misty you have to take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.” I say as calmly as I can.

I hear her try to compose herself and then she begins to speak again. “Devon came to Justin’s house. Na he was so angry he had a gun and he was shooting all over every where.” She answers.

“Was…. Was anybody hurt?” I ask

Misty starts crying again. “I swear Na I don’t know. Trace made me go out the back and around to the front when the police came. I saw blood but I don’t know whose it was and Trace came and brought me his phone and stuff when he came to check on me. Na they won’t tell me anything and I haven’t seen Justin or Devon any where.”

I can hear my heart beating a thousand beats per minute. I feel as though it is going to beat right out of my chest. Isn’t it enough that I’m in here? I can’t lose Justin! I didn’t get to tell him that I love him too! That I want to be with him. Why is it that millions of thoughts go through your head when something goes horribly wrong? I hear another voice on the phone, but my mind is so clouded that I can’t make out who it is nor can I form any sentences.

“Anais sweetie talk to me please! Are you still there?”

I’m finally able to find my voice. “Trace……. Is….Is he ok?” I ask almost afraid to find out.

“I’m not sure sweetie. He is being taken to the hospital right now. Misty and I will be there soon too. As soon as I know something I will be right up to see you.” He says in a rushed tone.

I get the feeling he knows something and is just afraid to tell me because it’s bad.

******************************************************************

Damn it they say the average person can take a bullet but fuck the shit hurts like hell!! The worst part is that it is still lodged in my arm! So yea I know your wondering what happened to Devon. Well from what I could see he was bleeding a whole lot more than I was. The bullet went through him and logged in my arm. What the fuck is all I can think. They want to put me under a local antithetic so they can take the bullet out, but I don’t think taking it out would hurt worse than the initial shock of it going in. I just want the damn bullet out.

“I want to know where my son is!!”

I hear my mother’s voice out in the hall. I should have known she would come rushing down to the hospital. She doesn’t even know everything that’s gone on. All she knows is that Anais had a miscarriage.

“Ma’am we can’t let you in this area.” One of the nurses is saying.

The doctor is finally able to get the bullet out and because he is such a nice man he lets my mother in to see me.

“Oh baby are you ok? I didn’t know what to think when I heard the news!! How bad where you hurt?”

She starts talking a mile a minute and finally I get her to calm down long enough for me to talk to her.

“I’m fine mom really. I got hit in the arm. They got the bullet out and everything is going to be fine.” I say more calmly.

“What happened?” She asks while she takes a sit next to me.

“Well Devon is pissed that Anais lost the baby and he feels it was my fault so he came after me. But mom I’m ok.”

“It just scared me to death. As soon as I got in that was the 1st thing off of peoples lips and I …..” 

I know what she’s thinking and I don’t even want the words to leave her lips. It is scary to be face to face with some one who has a gun and is aiming for you, but thank God nothing worse happen. I just hope that statement still stands after Devon comes out of surgery. Granted I may not like the guy at all, but I would not wish death upon anyone.

“Mom do you know how long it’s gonna be before I can get a room?” I ask trying to get my mothers mind off the events of tonight.

“I’m not sure but I can go check with the doctors.” She answers while heading to the door.

“Thanks and mom could you please send Trace in here I need to talk to him.”

“Sure thing sweetie.” And with that she was out the door.

I don’t know if Anais knows anything but in my gut I have a bad feeling she knows what’s up. They wouldn’t let me see Trace after everything had happened. By the time the gun fire was over I was in such a state of shock that I wasn’t sure what was going on. It wasn’t until I was at the hospital that I found out that the police were there by the time the gun fire had stopped and they came rushing into the house.

I asked the doctors if I could see Trace and Misty, but since I still had to get the bullet out I wasn’t allowed to. I know the two of them are probably worried sick about me. And if Anais has any clue about what is going on she more than likely called Trace if she couldn’t get in touch with me. I hear the door open again and I hear him take a deep breath.

“I know it’s not your fault but you have no idea how worried I was. All I saw was the blood on the floor and I almost lost it.” He says while sitting next to the bed.

I laughed a little at the joke in my head. “You have no idea how much it fucking hurts to get shot!” I say

He laughs some and then calms down. “Seriously dude are you ok?”

“Other than my arm being kinda sore I’m good. But……”  I start to trail off.

“She called while we were still at the house.” He answers, already knowing what I’m about to ask.

“Shit! She is probably freaking out right now!” I say

“J I didn’t know what to say to her. I didn’t know anything at all I just told her what I knew at the moment.”

“It’s cool. I’m gonna see if the doctor lets me go to her room. Could you help me get this scrub on so I won’t be half naked?”  I ask.

“Sure man.”

After we cover my top half I head out to the hall. Not even two steps out of my room a nurse spots me.  “Mr. Timberlake where do you think you’re going?”

“Listen nurse….”

“Nurse Jordan” She supplies

“Nurse Jordan, my girl is on another floor because she was brought in for something else earlier today. I just need to see her cause she heard about what happened and she is freaked. Please I’m begging.” I say.

She looks at me and for a second I could tell she didn’t want to let me go because it was probably against hospital rules or something but I could tell she had a soft spot for this kinda thing.

“Alright fine. What floor is she on?”

“Fifth” I supply.

“Ok, but listen you need to be back down here in 10 minutes.” She tells me.

“No problem.”

We walk out the double doors and immediately see Misty. She quickly runs over to us and we explain what’s going on as we head up the elevators. All I can think now is I have to see Anais.

I don’t know what to do at all. I want to run out of this room and make sure Justin is alright but I can’t! Mostly cause I already tried. I took this damn heart monitor thing off and the nurses came rushing in here. I had to calm down before they gave me something that would knock me out. So here I sit in my hospital bed crying like a big baby cause I don’t know if my Justin is ok. A few minutes later I hear a knock on the door and it starts to open. I can tell you right now I have never been more relived to see that face before in my life!

“OMG you’re ok!” I get out while crying even harder. I see Trace and Misty walk in behind him

He walks over to my bed and gives me a big hug. “Yea I’m defiantly ok now that you know I’m ok.” He says

“I had this awful feeling in my gut and then when I saw the news and talked to Trace and Misty I was going crazy!”

“I know I know. Everything is ok now.”

“What about Devon? Where is he?” I ask almost afraid to know.

“They took him into surgery. I think he will be fine but I don’t know for sure.”

“Hey Justin, Misty and I are gonna give you and Anais some time alone. I’ll let you know when it’s time to go.” Trace says while opening the door.

“Thanks man. Hey Misty would you mind coming back in here and sitting with her after I leave?” Justin asks.

“No not at all.” She smiles and she and Trace walk out the room.

As Justin is sitting down all these thoughts are running through my head and I’m crying and I’m just so happy that he is ok I say something that has been on my mind for almost a month now.

“I Love You too Justin!” I blurt out.

He just sits there and looks at me for a second not sure of what to say so I start talking again.

“I know we never finished the conversation we were having on the island that night. We got so consumed with the PI and then all the work we had to do when we got back. We just basically left the conversation alone. But I never stopped thinking about it and I do love you so much. I’ve loved you since that night after we had sex. I just didn’t know how to say it or what to do. I was so afraid that you didn’t feel the same. I just buried it inside.”

I can see the tears in his eyes and then Justin gives me the shock of my life.

“Snuggs I… I think we should stop seeing each other for a while.”

“You what? Why would you say something like that?” I ask

He looks really nervous. “I started seeing Veronica again” He says simply

I look down at my hands as the tears start to roll. “Oh.” Is all I can get out.

“Anais I’m sorry. I thought that since you didn’t say anything about it you just weren’t feeling me so I went back and tried to fix things with Veronica. So far we are doing good. I don’t want to just drop her cause we had a life and death situation. I think you’re just saying you love me cause of everything that has happened today and you’re saying it’s cause of other things because you don’t want me to think it just cause of this.”

“Justin I know how I feel and I’m not saying it cause of what happened. I’m saying it cause it’s true!!” I can feel myself getting angry.

“If it was so true why didn’t you say it to me a month ago?” He throws back.

 I can tell he is starting to get angry and I can’t fight with him right now. It’s not in me. “You know what Justin I can’t do this with you. I think you should just leave.” I say

“See Anais that’s what I mean by you’re just saying it cause I got hurt. I don’t need you toying with my heart. I’ve had to many other girls do that. I don’t need you doing it too.” He says and walks out the door.

How did we go from being happy about everything to this. I’m right back were I was before he came in sitting on my bed and all I can do is cry.

3 weeks later

So I’m out of the hospital and back at work. I had some one else take over all of the stuff I was doing with Justin. I know he had to reschedule everything because of the shooting. At any rate would you believe we haven’t talked to each other since that night at the hospital. He was treated and released the same night. I however had to stay an extra day. Everything is fine with me and I don’t have any permanent damage done so I can still have children some day.

Trace has been trying to at least get me to talk to Justin, but that has been a no go. Mostly because we are both so stubborn. I don’t want to see him, I mean how can you tell somebody you love them and then turn around and get back with your ex-girlfriend who you by the way called my name in the middle of sex. Men are just so stupid sometimes. I’m not sure what his excuse is for not trying to contact me and right about now I don’t care.

“Anais, you have a phone call on line four.” I hear my secretary buzz.

“Who is it?”

“A Lynn Harless.” She replies.

Great now with everything else I have to talk to Mama Lynn. In my most chipper yet professional voice I answer the phone.

“Anais Taylor”

“Hello Anais. How are you doing sweetie?”

“I’m alright Mama Lynn.”

“That’s good. I’m sorry I didn’t get to call you sooner but everything has been so crazy lately.” She says.

“It’s ok. I understand. How are you?” I ask

“I would be much better if you and Justin were talking.”

I knew this conversation wasn’t going to be a hi how are you thing.

I sigh. “Well I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Anais just talk to him.” She says.

What am I suppose to say to him? I mean I confess my true feelings and he says I’m only saying it because of everything that happened. Further more as I stated if he was so in love with me how did he just so easily get back together with Veronica. I want to yell all of these things to Lynn, but she isn’t the reason why this is happening.

So I take a deep breath before I say anything else. “Mama Lynn I know you mean well but I really don’t want to talk about this. I’m not going to beg him to talk to me and I know two wrongs don’t make a right , but I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Anais just please try and work things out with Justin. You all have been best friends for far too long.” She pleads.

“I have to go. I’ll call you later.” I say before hanging up the phone.

I get up from my desk and head to the “closet” as we like to call it to pick up the clothes for P.Diddy’s shoot. I’m glad I have something to keep my mind off of things at least for a few hours.

“Justin, baby I was thinking we could go out to a movie tonight. What do you think?”

Veronica has been stuck to me like white on rice since we got back together. It’s not that I don’t want to be around her it’s just that she seems to be extra clingy. Besides that it seems like ever since that night at the hospital Trace has been extra pissed at me. Granted I didn’t tell him about Veronica and me getting back together. Still he shouldn’t be pissed about it. I think this is more about Anais than about Roni, but I really don’t want to talk about that.

“Yea baby whatever you want to do is good with me.” I say

“Justin what’s the matter? You seem so lost lately.” Veronica inquires.

“I don’t know I guess I’m just a little tired. You know with all the catch up work I have had to do.”

“Oh well maybe we should make it a stay at home movie night. How about I go fix us some dinner and we can curl up and watch some DVD’s?”

“Sure that sounds like a good idea.”

I watch as Veronica stands up and heads toward the kitchen. You know what’s really eerie? Even with Veronica being in this house it still seems really lonely. I mean with Trace always at Misty’s house and Anais and I not talking I feel so alone. Yea I know I am a dumb ass for saying what I said to Anais, but it’s the truth. The only reason she said those three words to me was because she thought something horrible had happened. I mean seriously if she felt that way she would have said something sooner right?

Still I shouldn’t have gotten back with Veronica. I feel like I am trying to force my self to care for her more than I really do. I try to shift my mind into thinking about other things. Like this upcoming trial. Yes Devon was arrested after he was released from the hospital and interestingly enough I found out from Trace that all of his shit hit the fan. His family found out about the whole incident with Anais and how this whole shit even started. The courts have ordered him to stay away from Anais as well as my self. So I guess that is some good news.

My cell phone breaks me out of my thoughts. “Hello?”

“Yo J we need to talk like now!” I hear Trace say.

“What’s wrong?” I asked getting a little worried.

“We just need to talk. Alone just the two of us.” He says

I sigh “Alright man where do you want to meet?”

“At Chi in an hour. I mean it J alone!” Trace emphasizes.

After I hang up the phone I sit there a little frustrated. Trace and Misty have barley talked to me over the past couple of weeks. So the fact that Trace wants to see me all of a sudden and really needs to talk is just interesting. I work up the energy to go talk to Veronica.

I walk into the kitchen. “Baby I’m sorry but I’m going to have to put our blockbuster night on hold.”

She looks up from the cookbook she is reading. “Why what’s going on?”

“Trace needs to talk to me about something and he needs to talk now.” I say.

“Well do you know how long you’re gonna be?”

“I’m not sure. As soon as I know something I will call you. OK?”

I can tell she is disappointed. “Sure.”

I grab my keys and head to my truck just hoping that things get better.

Man it feels so good to be home. Today has been too long. I look through my mail mostly bills and then head over to the answering machine to check my calls. I push play to be met by the machine voice telling me I have 4 new messages. The 1st one is from my mom and dad, the next is from Trace checking up on me. The 3rd is Misty telling me to call when I get in, maybe we can hang out and the last one is just a wrong number I guess cuz the person just hung up the phone. I grab the phone while heading to my room to change clothes. I quickly dial Misty’s number. The phone rings a good 3 times before she answers.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby what’s up?” I say laughing a little.

“Nothing much. Just thought you might be up for some company tonight.” She states

“What! No Trace by your side tonight.” I say trying to play surprised.

“Cute and no, we do have lives outside of each other.”

I could just picture here rolling her eyes at me. I sit on the bed and start to take my shoes off. “So what do you wanna do?” I ask her cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear.

“I’m not in the mood to go out. Maybe we could just chill at your place. Unless you really wanted to go out.”

“Nah I’m good with staying in. I’m so tired anyway. Let’s just order in and watch a movie or something.” I suggest.

“Ok cool. Well I’ll be over in about an hour.” Misty says just before we hang up the phone. I decide to jump in the shower before she comes and get more relaxed. Just as I’m about to head into the bathroom my phone rings.

“Hello?”

There is silence on the other end of the line so I say hello again. At the point of irritation I am about to hang up the phone when I hear a voice that is just barely above a whisper call my name.

“Anais?” The feminine voice says again.

“Who is this?” I ask ready to scream through the phone.

“This is Mrs. Stewart, I just….. I wanted to check on you.”

I feel this really uncomfortable feeling rise in my stomach. Why is she calling me? I’m guessing Devon told her about the baby. I take breath before I say anything. “I’m fine, A little tired from work.”

“That wasn’t what I meant by are you ok. Devon told me what happened.”

“Oh” Was all I could say.

“Why didn’t you tell me what he did to you?”

That question really caught me off guard. I wasn’t exactly sure what I should say to that.

“What do you mean?” I ask because honestly I wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

“The day I saw you in your job’s parking lot, why didn’t you tell me then that Devon hit you and that was the reason you didn’t want to be with him?” She asked sounding very hurt.

I was left speechless for a moment. I mean how do you answer a question like that? There isn’t really much you can say to that. I some how manage to find my voice. “Devon actually told you what he did?” I asked very surprised that he would.

“No actually when everything happened with your friend Justin I went to the hospital and I saw your other friend Trace and he told me what had happened. When I finally did confront Devon about it he broke down and told me what had happened.”

Once again all I could get out was oh. How can you have a conversation like this with the guy’s mother. I mean having the conversation with my parents was a totally different thing. I’ve been strong enough to go through the worst so this task shouldn’t be all that difficult. I just need to tell her what’s in my head.

I take a deep breath. “I didn’t really feel it was my place to say anything to you. I felt like your son should have been man enough to tell you the real reason why I didn’t want to get back together. Further more I didn’t say anything about the baby because I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t want anyone swaying my judgment.”

“I guess I can understand. I just wished that none of this would have happened. I’m so sorry Anais.”

“It’s fine. You shouldn’t be apologizing for your son’s wrong doing. Listen Mrs. Stewart I really need to get going.”

We said our goodbyes and then I headed for the shower. I’m so glad I’m staying in tonight.

“What’s up man?” I say sitting next to him.

He looks up at me and then motions for the bartender to get me a beer. Sometimes I wonder if it’s my restaurant or his.

“What was so important that I needed to rush right down here and talk to you? Alone at that.” I asked taking a sip of my beer.

“What the fuck is going on with you man? I mean you haven’t talked to Anais since that night at the hospital. Why?”

”Dude you called me out here for this?” I ask almost feeling pissed that he wanted to talk about something so trivial with me. “Look Trace I am not about to get into this with you. Besides it’s not like she called me either!” I defend.

“Yea J cuz you’re gonna call somebody that walked out on you after you confessed your feelings.” Trace snapped back

I roll my eyes at him and take another swig of my beer. “Whatever man. If you ask me I think it was really interesting she decided to tell me that after I got hurt. Besides she basically did the same thing to me in St. Thomas.”

Trace looks at me as if I am stupid or something. “Fuck Justin she didn’t walk out on you. You guys were interrupted by a fucking stalker. She was more worried about people following us. I would have a hard time telling somebody that I loved them too.”

“It’s always like you to take her side you know that? Even when we were kids you use to take her side!” I exclaimed.

“I don’t always take her side. Nine times outta ten yeah I do and that’s cuz she is right. Just like she is now.”

“How the fuck is she right for lying to me. She only said that shit cuz I got shot.” I say as I feel anger boiling inside of me.

“You are such a blind fuck. I can’t believe you got back with Veronica like that. I wouldn’t call your ass either if you did that shit to me twice!”

I get ready to open my mouth and say something but the statement Trace just made really registers in my head. “What the fuck do you mean twice.” I ask

I watch as Trace shakes his head and begins to get up and walk away. “You are so blind, you know that?” He asks me.

“Dude what the hell are you talking about?”

“Anais has been in love with you for the longest time. Even before Veronica came in the picture. Just like you were afraid to say anything to her for fear it would ruin you guys friendship it was the same fear she had. I was so proud of you when you finally got the balls to say something to her about it. I didn’t think you would give up on it so easily though just because you didn’t get the response you wanted when you wanted it. Justin she had a lot of shit going on in her life and you knew that just like Misty and I did. For you to doubt her that hurt her just as bad as you walking out on her and now not calling her. That’s just wrong.” 

Trace gets up and walks away from the bar. I sit there for a moment absorbing everything he has just said to me. It suddenly occurs to me that I am such an asshole and I don’t deserve to be with her nor do I deserve her love. I leave a few dollars at the bar to pay for the beers and leave a tip and then I walk out to my car. What the fuck am I gonna do?!

Misty arrived at my house just as I had finished getting dressed. I was glad to because I needed someone to talk to. “Hey.” I said as I opened the door.

“Hey you. Are you ok?” She asked voice full of concern.

“I’m just tired and I had a really interesting conversation just before I got in the shower.”

“With who?” She asks while sitting the bag she brought in with her on the kitchen table.

“Devon’s mother.” I say “Did you know that Trace told her everything?” I asked.

“No I didn’t even know they had talked to each other.” She says slightly baffled”

“I mean he told her everything Mist. I was surprised by the phone call. I just I felt like I was at a loss for words.” I say peering into the bag. “What did you get?”

“I brought us some Mexican food. Thought it would be good just in case we started talking about something heavy and you needed to drown your sorrows in liquor.” She laughed.

“Oh yea I get the feeling there is gonna be a whole lot of drinking.” I say pulling down 2 glasses.

I drove around for a long while before I finally ended up back at home. I think the only real reason I came back here was so that Veronica wouldn’t feel like I had completely abandoned her. I slowly walked into the house and heard the tv on in the living room. I watched for a minute as Veronica sat on the couch engrossed in some lifetime movie playing. I spoke softly as to not startle her.

“Hey”

She looked up and smiled while cutting the TV off. “Hey. I didn’t know what time you would be back.”

“I’m sorry I had to run out like that.”

“It’s ok. I went ahead and made dinner do you still want to eat and just hang out?” She asked

“Yeah that sounds good.” I smile warmly at her.

I watch her walk toward the kitchen and all I can think about is what Trace said to me at the restaurant. Truth be told I miss Anais so damn much. The way she smiles. The smart ass remakes we pass back and froth. Just everything. How could I not believe what she said to me. She has never lied to me before. (Except that one time on my 20 birthday when her and Trace threw me a surprise party but still that doesn’t count) I know I have royally fucked up and I don’t know where to begin to fix it. Maybe after Veronica is sleep I’ll call my mom. She always knows the answers.

“Are you serious? She really said he broke down and just told her what happened?” Misty asked taking another bite from her taco.

“Yeah, he has never really been able to lie to his mother when she knew something.”

“But didn’t he lie about why you two hadn’t gotten back together?” She asked.

“Well I’m not exactly sure I know what he did say to her.” I admitted taking a sip of my margarita.

“Well if you ask me I’m glad you are finally through with that dumb ass. I already told you where I think you should be.” She smiles.

I knew this night was not gonna go by with out the mention of Justin in some way shape or form. I roll my eyes at Misty as I get up and head toward the kitchen to get some more margarita.

“Oh come on don’t you miss him even a little bit?” Misty asks while following me into the kitchen.

“Misty I don’t really wanna talk about Justin right now. What about you and Trace? How are you guys doing?” I ask quickly trying to change the subject.

“Oh no you are not about to do this. Come on Na why don’t you just go ahead and call him? I know your upset but at least call to see how he is.” She pleads with me.

“Why should I? He hasn’t called me. He isn’t concerned about my well being anymore!” I shout.

“Na you know that’s not true. You know Justin cares about you very much. He is just stubborn and a male so that in itself should let you know something.”

I laughed at that and continued to pour myself some more to drink. I sighed. “I just don’t understand it. How can he just tell me that he loves me and then go and get back together with Veronica? It’s not that I think she is a bad person or anything like that. I just don’t get it.”

Misty sighed while she walked up to me and engulfed me in a hug. “Oh baby I know. Everything is going to be fine. I know this whole thing is getting to you, but you have to stay strong. Don’t give up on things with you and Justin because he is having a moment.”

After a few minutes Trace came walking in the door. “Hey Na, hey cutie.” He says giving both of us a hug.

“I stopped off at your place and saw the note you left. What you guys up to?” He asked taking a sip of my drink.

“Nothing just talking about Justin you know how it goes.” Misty laughed.

Trace laughed at Misty and I just rolled my eyes at the both of them. “I’m glad you think it’s so funny.”

“I need something to laugh at after talking to Justin.” Trace says.

“Talking to Justin about what?” I asked.

“Just stuff. It wasn’t really anything.” Trace says grabbing a beer out of my fridge.

“In other words it was guy talk and we don’t need to know about it.” Misty laughs

We all continue to talk for a while and just trip out. I forgot how much I missed this seeing as we haven’t done it in a long while. It wasn’t until after midnight when Misty and Trace left. I dressed in my pj’s and climbed in the bed thinking about how much I missed Justin.

It’s about 1 in the morning and I quietly slip out of bed and into my office to call my mother. I know it’s late but I’m not going to be able to sleep until I talk to my mother. I picked up the phone and dialed that familiar number.

“Hello?” A sleepy male voice says.

“Hey dad it’s me Justin.”

“Justin is everything ok?” My dad asks me.

“Yea, I just really need to talk to my mom.”

“Hang on a sec.” He says.

I hear some ruffling and then the phone is picked up. “Hello?” the sleepy voice says.

“Momma it’s me. I just needed to talk to you. I’m sorry I woke you and dad up.”

“It’s ok baby. What’s going on?” She asks in her concerned motherly tone.

“Momma I had a conversation with Trace earlier and I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well what happened?” She asked.

I took a deep breath before I began to tell her what had been going on between Anais and I. Telling her how much I really do love her and Anais said it back to me and just everything. Unfortunately she told me that this was something I was going to have to figure out on my own. I guess I can understand that. I mean this isn’t like when I was younger and I was just trying to figure out which shoes to wear. This was about a very important relationship in my life.

I hung up the phone with my mother and headed back to my bed room. I crawled back in the bed and started up at the ceilings and thought about everything that had been going on. I looked over at Veronica and thought about how much I wished it was Anais. I turned over on my side praying that I could find a way to fix what I broke between us.

Few days later

“Anais can I see you in my office for a moment?” My boss asked.

“Sure I’ll be there in a second.” I say while I finish looking at some new cloths we just got in.

“What’s up Jackie?” I say taking a seat.

“I just got a call from our branch in New York and they need a stylist for some shoots out there and I recommended you for the job.”

I smiled at that. “Well how long is the job?” I ask

“A few weeks. A month at the most. You wouldn’t be gone that long.”

I happily expected the job while she went on to tell me when I would be leaving and give me the details of the job. I went ahead and finished my work and headed home. Misty and I decided we should celebrate by going out to dinner and partying. I didn’t have to leave until the day after tomorrow so I had time to party. A few hours later Misty came walking through my door.

“Baby where are you?” Misty asked

“I’m in the bedroom I’ll be out in a minute.” I say putting on my shoes.

“Did you want Trace to come out with us tonight?” She asks.

“Nah. I talked to him earlier. He and Justin made plans to go to a basketball game so he said he would just meet up with me in New York next week.” I say walking into the living room.

“Oh look at you looking all hot.” Misty says.

“Thank you Thank you.”  I say modeling for her.

We head out to the club and party it up having a great time. I remembered how much fun it was for us to just go out and have a good time. So I spent my night out with my best girlfriend partying and celebrating being free and at least being partly happy.

Trace walked in the door ready to go to the game. I was actually surprised he wanted to go out with me considering the fact that he was still a little pissed at me. I guess in some way we kind of resolved that issue. At any rate we were getting ready to head to the Lakers game.

“Dude you ready to go?” He yells up the stairs.

“Yea man lets go.” I say grabbing my Pony cap off the table and heading out the door.

After the game Trace and I headed to In & Out burger to grab some eats and talk.

“So where is Misty at tonight?” I ask

“She went out with Anais. They went clubbing.”

“You let her go out with Anais alone?” I laugh

“Yeah I did. Besides she wanted to take her girl out to celebrate.” Trace says taking a bite from his burger.

“What are they celebrating?” I ask slightly curious.

“Well I could tell you that, but I think it will give you a reason to call Anais and talk to her.” He says

“You really think she is gonna talk to me?” I ask a little unsure.

“Yes I think she will talk to you. Honestly I think she is just waiting for you to make the 1st move.” He states.

“I miss her so much Trace. I just don’t know what to do, where to start to fix things between us.”

We finish talking and head back to the house. Veronica actually went ahead and stayed at home tonight so I was alone in bed to once again think about Anais and what I was going to do. I decided right then and there to go see her tomorrow.

It wasn’t until after noon when I finally rolled out of the bed to go get in the shower. Misty was still knocked out when I got out the shower. So I figured I would make some coffee and try and get her up. My phone rings and I run to answer it so it doesn’t wake Misty.

“Hello?” I say

“Hey Na. I can’t believe you’re up!” Trace says

I laughed. “Yea, I gotta be. I have a lot to do before I leave. I haven’t even packed yet.”

“Well I guess I should let you know that Justin will probably call you or come by to see you. I told him that you and Misty were out celebrating. He asked what you were celebrating and I told him that he needed to call you.”  Trace said.

“Ok Trace. Well I am gonna go try to get your girlfriend up and send her home to you.” I laugh.

“Yea send her home to me and make me deal with the whole hangover.” He laughs.

“Whatever you know we don’t get hangovers.” I say.

We go ahead and say goodbye. I feel this huge rush of happiness come threw. I hadn’t seen Justin in over a month. We have never stopped speaking to each other like this. It wasn’t even a argument or nothing like that. He made a statement that wasn’t true and we just stopped talking and I hate that. The coffee finishes and I make Misty a cup and head back into the bedroom.

“Come on baby wake up.” I say

“Give me like five more minutes.” She says trying to sit up.

“I have coffee come on. Besides you know I have a lot to do and I know your boyfriend wants you back home.” I laugh.

She takes the coffee and looks at me. “You talk to him?”

“Yea he called to tell me that Justin will probably call me or come by today.” I say

“Are you serious?” She says

“Yea.” I say smiling some.

“Well it’s about damn time.” She says finishing up her coffee and heading for the shower.

I think to myself yea it is about time.

I had meetings all morning and a few interviews this afternoon, but I finally made it out of them all and I’m heading to Anais house right now to talk to her. As I pull up to her place I am a little nervous about seeing her. I’m just really worried that she is going to slam the door in my face. I slowly walk to her door. I could use my key but I feel that would be kinda wrong right now so I knock on the door.

“Just a second.” I hear her say.

I watch as she slowly opens the door and gives me a slight smile. “Hey”

“Hey” was all I could say.

She motions for me to come in. “So how are you?” she asks

“I’m ok I guess. How about you?

“I’m great.” There is a silence between us and then she laughs. “Um I know this isn’t exactly what you would be expecting me to say, but could you come in the bedroom? I have a lot of things I have to do.” She says

“Sure.” I reply following her into her bedroom. Once in there I notice a suitcase on the bed half full and I look a little confused. “Going on a trip?” I ask.

She steps out of the closet and smiles some. “Actually I am going for a job in New York.” She says.

I feel this rush of nervousness and sadness go through me. “Are you going for an interview or something?” I ask

She just laughs. “No Justin it’s just a short job for a month. I will be back so don’t worry.”

I release the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. “So when are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning.” She answers.

I walk towards her and engulf her in a hug. I didn’t even realize that a few tears slipped from my eyes. “I missed you so much Snuggs. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you that night at the hospital. I should have never doubted you and for that I apologize.”

“Justin why would you think I would say something like that just because you got hurt?” She asks pulling away from me.

“I got scared. I mean honestly Anais I did think I was ruining our friendship when you hadn’t said anything back. To you I’m not Justin “Mr. JT” Timberlake. To you I am Justin Randall from Shelbyville. The Justin you spent summer nights with looking up at the stars and having big dreams. You don’t drool over me like that and throw yourself at me.” I say looking into her eyes.

She sits on the bed and I see the tears rolling down her checks. I knell down in front of her and wipe her tears. “Justin I love you I really do, but I can’t do this with you. I can’t keep going back and froth with you. The fact that you didn’t say anything to me nor did you even tell Trace you were thinking about getting back with Veronica says a lot. I think me going away for a while will be good. Maybe when I come back we can work on our friendship.”

I couldn’t believe she was actually saying this to me. “I’m sorry Anais I never meant to hurt you and I really do apologize for all of this but I do love you.” I say

“Justin you don’t even know what you want.” She says turning back to pack some more things.

“I do know what I want.” I defend.

“What do you want Justin?”

I turn her around and look deep in her eyes. “I want you!”

She laughed at me bitterly. “Yea and that’s why you ran and got back together with Veronica. I can’t do this with you. I think you should leave Justin.”

Hearing her say that really tore at my heart. I can’t believe she is actually asking me to leave. But because I respect her I will do as she asks. I start to walk toward the door and I look back at her one last time as she furiously wiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry Snuggles.” I say as I walk out the door.

As I walk to my car I know that I have to fix things between us. I was stupid for not believing her and I can’t just be her friend. I want to be with her until the day I die. I know that the first place to start fixing things is to talk to Veronica. I pull into my garage and sit for a moment trying to gather my thoughts on how I should approach things. I walk into the house to see Veronica dancing around the kitchen making cookies.

“Hey you I’m so glad you’re home!” She exclaims.

“Hey. Umm Veronica we need to talk.” I say

“Sure what’s up?” She asks taking a seat.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this conversation. “Veronica you know I care about you?” I ask

She laughs at me. “Yes I know this. What’s the matter with you?” She asks.

I figure that I might as well just come out and say it. “Veronica I think it would be better if we started seeing other people.” I say

She turns and looks at me. Then she starts to smile. “You can’t be serious.” She says.

I sigh as I look at her. “I know this is just so crazy to hear, but I think it would be better.”

I watch for the second time to night as I caused a woman to cry. She looks at me and trembles a little before the words leave her lips.

“Justin we can’t break up. I’m pregnant.

Sometime Later…..

“AHHHHH I FUCKING HATE YOU JUSTIN!!!! YOU DID THIS SHIT TO ME!!!!” She yells.

“Baby just breathe.” I say trying to get her to relax a little bit.

She just glares at me. “YOU FUCKING BREATH! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN.”

“Baby I know this hurts you just have to try and breathe and be just a tad bit patient.” I say in a soothing tone.

“YOU ARE NEVER EVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN. YOU DO REALIZE THAT?” She grunts at me.

For a second I’m not sure what to say and I guess I must look surprised because the nurse looks at me and laughs. “Don’t worry they all say the same thing. I’m sure you all will be back in here again with her yelling those same words to you.”

With a few more curses and yells at me and the doctor to get this baby out of her she gives one final push and out comes our little buddle of joy. The doctor looks at us and smiles. “It’s a boy!” He finally admits.

2 hours later.

I’m at the nursery looking at all the babies when I feel Trace walk up behind me. “Congrats dude!” He says smiling from ear to ear.

I smile back at him. “Thanks man I’m glad you guys are all here.

“You know we wouldn’t miss this for the world. Our little Justin becoming a dad!” He laughs.

“Oh you got jokes today huh?” I say and we both laugh. “So where is everybody?” I ask.

“Down at the gift shop. You know seeing as how we didn’t exactly have a specific date when the baby would be born. Everybody decided to just wait till after the birth to buy balloons and all that shit.” He informs me.

“Ah I see.” I say staring back at the nurse again.

“You alright man?” Trace asks

“Yea I’m good. I guess I’m just still getting use to the fact that I’m a dad.” I laughed.

I watched as our families came around the corner with balloons, flowers and stuffed animals. Happy that they had a grand child. Trace puts his arm around my shoulder and starts talking. “She actually made an honest man out of you.” He laughs.

“Yea I know I have a wife and a son. Pretty crazy huh?” I laugh along with him

“Yup” He replied as we walked into the room.

“You’ll be in this same position soon.” I say looking over at him

He looks up at me and then over to my wife and son. “Yea I know.” He says as he walks over with the rest of the family and starts to ogle over the baby.

“Justin we’re waiting on you to tell us the baby’s name.” My mother breaks me out of my daze.

“I’m sorry.” I say walking over to my wife’s bed side. “Well this little mans’ name is Jaylen Edward Timberlake.

She looked up at me and motioned for me to take the baby. I smiled at her thinking to myself I almost let this go. Our families talked for a while before everyone decided to let her rest. So here I am sitting here with our baby in my arms watching my wife sleep. Once again I think about how I almost missed out on all this.

I guess I should start with the whole marriage thing cuz I know you’re wondering what’s that about. Well after I found out that Veronica was pregnant we sat down and talked about everything and we talked about her moving in. Anais left the next day on her trip to New York. Trace let me know how she was doing.

It actually took her about 3 weeks before she talked to me again. I could see the sadness in her eyes after I told her about Veronica and I knew it was my fault. We started hanging out again and just being the way were. Eventually Veronica and I got into it because I was hanging out with Anais. I didn’t want to break up with Veronica because she was pregnant. A few days after our argument I found out that Veronica wasn’t even pregnant to begin with and I immediately broke up with her. It took a little while before Anais and I got together but we finally did.

Six months later we were engaged and six months after that we were married. Our moms said that was the quickest yet most beautiful wedding they had seen. About a year later we found out we were having a baby and now here we are. I watch as she starts to wake up.

“Aww look at father and son doing some male bonding.” She says while sitting up.

I smile at her and hand her back our son so she can feed him. “I think he’s a little hungry.”

“I’m sorry about all the stuff I said to you while I was giving birth.” She says

“Don’t be sorry. You were in pain and I get that, but are you sure you never want me to touch you again?” I laughed.

She laughed with me. “No you can touch me baby.” She says giving me a kiss.

I watch her feed our son and it makes me so happy that we are together I missed her so much when things got bad. I just watch as she coos over our baby.

Can you believe we actually got married? I mean yea I always hoped for it but after a while I started to think that it was just a dream. He was honest with me and told me that Veronica was pregnant and once again it hurt because when ever he had his 1st child I wanted to be the woman carrying it and vice versa. I was with him when he found out that Veronica had lied to him and I stayed his friend through everything. I was very proud of myself.

Now here we are about three years later and my wish came true. I’m married to this man and I had his child. Its funny cuz the night before our wedding Misty and I stayed up talking about how much has happened with Justin and I. I was happy when Misty had her wedding a few months after mine. So now she is Mrs. Trace Ayala. Quiet as kept Misty told me a few days ago that she is pregnant.

I finish feeding Jaylen and hand him back to Justin. “I feel like he does. He eats and wants to go to sleep. I fed him and now I wanna go back to sleep.” I smile

“Well I got lil man so you can rest now.” Justin smiles at me while he kisses my forehead.

I lay quietly as I watch my husband and our son together. I smile to myself as I watch the scene in front of me. I never thought that I would finally be at this point. Five years ago I said I was so crazy for falling in love with my best friend. But now my very best friend is my love my heart and the rest of my life and I thank God for that every day.

So here I lay drifting off to sleep to dream of my happily ever after being Mrs. Justin Randall Timberlake.