If one were to be watching him, one may think the young man was a young Father who was simply watching over his newborn. The male wasn’t tall but he wasn’t short either. He seemed thin, but not sickly so, all and all, he was what some may mistakenly label him, average. He was far from such an idea however, his face held a soft beauty, his smile was warm and his blue eyes were as pure as any clear day under the heavens. More so, his aura was so clam, so loving, he looked on over all the newborn children as small miracles, as we know they are of course.

Licking his lips he sighed deeply before placing his hand on the glass as if he would love nothing more then to be able to on the other side, holding and caring for the babies as the nurses were but sadly for him, it was their propose, not his.

No, he was not here because he was a Father, nor because he knew someone who was. His need for being at the hospital that night was for a child yes, but not one that would live. Soon enough he looked to the next room. There was no large window but a small one placed in the center of the brown wooden door. Cocking his head to the side just inside he saw a young woman who seemed to be watching over something, or someone. As he waited a few more moments, a doctor made his way into room and the dark haired male followed.

Without a word he stood next to the Mother and touched her shoulder, though this went unnoticed, he was unable to help one who worried or suffered. He only helped though those that were leaving, not those who were staying but he still felt for her nonetheless. She was alone; the baby’s Father had been, unavailable to say the least and now she dealt with this alone. Not for long though he knew, she would hurt, but her own angel would watch over her, as Joshua would her son.

It was in that moment that Joshua’s eyes shifted from the Mother and doctor as they spoke to one another and landed on the small incubator. Moving away from the adults, the man’s eyes were locked on the little boy, he was only a few hours old and already the Father had called him home. It would be hard for those on earth to understand but baby Mathew was not meant to remain, he would grow in heaven and he watch over all those that still had their journey to travel.

A sad smile found his lips as he looked back at Mathew’s Mother, sighing a second time he reached though the protective plastic and seemed to bring back the baby into his arms. It was Mathew’s soul that he held though, not his body. His soul free of tubes and machines, the child moved some in his arms and Joshua’s smile lightened as the baby opened his eyes for the first time. Turning away from the scene that was unfolding in the room the angel slipped into the hallway once again and was gone.

~

The following morning Joshua still thought about the baby that he had left with the caretakers but more then that he thought of his Mother. He never in his existence suffered a lose, he was not human, he had no family that would grow sick, die or leave him. Instead, he watched, he carried the souls of the departed children from life, into death. This sometimes saddened him, he understood it was his was purpose and he did not hate himself for doing what he was meant to do, he was an angel, he didn’t understand hate and he was luckily enough that he also did not understand guilt. Heaven offered a certain amount of protection to the servants of God and Joshua was as white and pure as his wings were.

Angels were timeless; they were not subjected to the time of earth, Joshua, as a few of the others had been in the presences of their Lord for centuries. His earliest memory was of the Great Northern War, making him, in humans years, a few years shy of three hundred. He was in no means an elder, nor was he a child, he was simply, in the middle.

He enjoyed sunrises, he believed them to be the Father’s greatest achievements, and such an event was after all the beginning of life itself. Licking his lips he sat on top of any unknown cliff and looked out over the open ocean and sky, how he loved it here. He loved the waves, though he could never feel them, he loved to hear them, it was nearly as wonderful as the music of his home.

After awhile longer he had the feeling he as no longer alone and his blue eyes opened once again, though in truth, he had been so lost in thought, he had barely realized he closed them. The sun was now high in the clear sky and he looked back to see that in fact, he was not alone. “Justin.” He greeted with a smile. “Something wrong?” He asked.

The other young male just shook his head no before moving a little closer. “I finished for the day.” He offered. “I heard that you were back recently to so I thought maybe …” He shrugged some and looked towards the sky as well. “If you want to be alone I understand.” He finished.

Justin was younger then Joshua, the other angel was what one, in the human world, may call a child. His birth, so to speak, had been merely decades ago, he had not meet even his fourth yet. For this reason many of the others did not bother with him. He was young, very curious and sometimes talkive. He had a question about nearly everything and in Joshua‘s mind, there was nothing wrong with a healthy mind. Though honestly, among the others Joshua was known as one of the more patient angels, he had to be after all, his reason for being was to care for scared children, a job that had not only taught him patient but succeed in drilling it into his head.

Joshua shook his head before speaking. “I enjoy the company.” He told the other as he watched him closely for a moment. He had the feeling that Justin was lying, by looking at his face, he could tell something was not right. “Something is wrong.” He offered in a matter of fact tone rather then a question. As the blond sat down just a foot or so away from his friend, he shrugged again before lowering his head a moment.

“Christopher and the others seem to grow so annoyed with me.” He confused in soft and sad tone. Frowning some, he sighed. “I understand I’m in their charge but …” He just shrugged before going on. “Most of them I feel I do more harm then good.”

Joshua still watched the other angel for a moment before speaking. “You’re young still.” He offered. “The others know this; I think because they have lived and served for so many years they forget that they were once young. They two use to ask questions and their curiosity sometimes overwhelmed them as your’s does to you. In time you’ll gain understanding and further more the right to be on your own.” As he added the last part of his statement a smile touched his features as Justin looked at him with a bit of shocked expression.

“I didn’t say anything about …” Only he didn’t bother to finish. “You know me well.” He acknowledged with a shake to his head. Justin was so very young, he wasn’t yet trusted to be on his own nor did he yet have humans in his care, someday soon he would though. It was true he may not yet know everything but he was well on his way, he had a heart that was pure and once he learned more patience he would serve well in his purpose.

“It is a hard task you’ve been given but an important one. There is much to know but each of us started somewhere.” Joshua said. The truth of the matter was that Christopher worried that Justin was not only one that didn’t think before acting but also one that did not yet understand the human soul. Even as an angel, he would be unable to save everyone. Yes, there was beauty in the world but unfortunately it only dimmed the evil, it did not block it out completely.

As it was Justin’s reason for being was just as important as Joshua’s only it was a near opposite. Justin would help those that stayed behind, a child who lost a Mother, Father, or anyone else close. His purpose needed much wisdom and patience, traits he was slowly but surly gaining. Each was a guardian of some sort, wither it be of animal, adult or child, each angel in heaven cared for someone on earth, they just had to learn how.

“Besides, earth is dangerous, even for creatures of our kind.” Licking his lips Joshua sighed some leaning back and looking up into the sky. “You don’t yet understand that.”

“Yes I do.” Justin snapped his expression giving the impression he was insulted. Joshua raised an eyebrow at the younger’s tone and Justin looked away again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean …” But Joshua shook his head indicating he’d rather Justin just remain quiet, his point had been made in that a moment by Justin himself. He knew enough that he was wrong and that showed he was in fact, getting somewhere.

Moving from one room to the next the man seemed intend on finding something or more likely someone. Throwing open a random door his eyes searched around a moment before moving on. He held a cigarette between his lips but didn’t concern himself to much with smoking it. He had other thoughts on his mind. Narrowing his eyes a moment, he shook his head and threw up a hand in frustration as he turned back the way he had come.

At the end of a hall was a descending staircase, giving one last look backwards the dark hallway seemed both cold and empty. In fact it’s over all impression was one of an eerie silence. If one had been, there with him one could see that it was the very presence of this male that was the cause of a feeling of such misery.

He allowed a hard smile to dance over his lips as rough laugh escaped him. Turning to head further down the steps, he disappeared from sight before his foot had even landed.

~

The sun was high in the sky by the time Joshua had seen fit to end the conversation between himself and Justin that morning. The blond seemed much more open with Joshua then he was with most of the others and the brunet found himself rather honored and confused by such a fact. Many of the angels sought advice from one another and many of the younger seemed to remain close to those whose charge they were in. Justin normally shied away from Christopher, least that’s what Joshua tended to see. He didn’t much understand it either, the two were very different yes but that meant nothing where they came from.

As the two set to part Joshua could tell that Justin was both disappointed and a bit put off when suggested it was time to head to home but held his tongue this time around. Unknown to the pair though, a third had joined in on their time together. Not far off a young looking man, appearing to be much older then a common teenage had his eyes set on him. The male was blond and he held a look of both softness and sadness. He didn’t seem at all happy that he found himself here.

He could just overhear the two as they spoke to one another. The younger seemed to do more talking and questioning then the older but the older seemed to pay no mind to answering all that he was asked.

He seemed to be assuring the blond in one way or another. James, the one who now spied on him remembered moments such as this. He had been created around the time Joshua was, he even knew the angel well as they had been first trained near the same time. Their lives had taken very different courses however, courses that, at the time were appealing to James but now he longed to change his decisions. Sadly enough though, it was impossible.

As the two had gone on to speak of Christopher, James had been unable to really pay much attention. Seeing Joshua was enough f a reminder then hearing of the one in which he was once assigned to. Joshua spoke of Christopher being one who fought against failure. How he simply did not want to see Justin hurt or destroyed like those in their past, in Christopher’s past. However, he went no further, it Justin who spoke of the ones that fell and it was then that James’ attention was brought back for they spoke of kind much like himself.

Once, years ago, the male had been among the angels, his purpose laid out before him only, by the time all was said and done, he had joined the ranks of the fallen, the forgotten and the unwanted. To be born an angel did not mean one’s heart was pure, though looking at James one had to wonder where the change had taken place.

Soon enough the two spread wings and parted towards their home. James cocked his head to the side as his very blue eyes watched them. After only a few second they were gone from sight and he sighed some to himself rubbing the back of his neck before leaning against a near by tree. Biting his bottom him he bowed his head for a second, it seemed almost in prayer but before a single thought or word could be uttered he no longer alone.

“Useless?” He heard from a male’s voice and he flinched. Opening his eyes, he looked over at the man that was now his Master; the man had in fact taken his charge so many years ago. “I apologize Master. Joshua returned home just moment ago, I could not follow.” Joseph merely rolled his eyes. “What have you found if anything I may ask?” He started but before James could open his mouth, the other was silencing with a wave of the hand.

“Save it for later.” He ordered. “I’m sure it’s nothing, much like yourself. Home.” He gave the second order before turning again. James followed close behind, the male before him was in a mood, and James knew well enough that when one thing or another went wrong life could go much worse then normal. He’d do anything, at anytime, to avoid angering Joseph, overall his life wasn’t to bad, as long as he did what he was told but everyone, including Joseph had those moments where his hands and fists did more of the talking then his lips.

As of lately, he seemed to be having them a lot.

By the end of the night, Joseph would bed James, as he did every night. The only question that remained at this point would be just how pain James was in the following morning. As James watched his Master walk away and heard the mumbles under his breath, he realized he’d already gotten his answer. Before he disappeared, he offered one more, nearly despite look towards the sky.

~

“I just don’t get it.” Christopher stated. His voice held a tone of both annoyance and disappointment. “I mean where is it that you go?”

His eyes were locked on Justin, as the young angel just looked down and shrugged his shoulders. Joshua stood just behind looking very much as if he’d just like to leave the to before to him to their privacy. Without giving Justin a chance to answer and of his questions Christopher looked to him, as if he Joshua trusted more. “Where did you find him?”

Joshua had a ran a nervous hand through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck as Christopher’s eyes fell on him. I know I was going to get dragged into this. He thought to himself with a silent sigh, he loved both Christopher and Justin dearly but sometimes the two seemed very misplaced. He knew the creature set forth a reason for everything but sometimes he found himself unable to see it. This being one of those situations.

He found.” Joshua finally offered. “On the ocean side.”

“I was just bored I wanted to go hang out.” The boy sounded more like a child then a guardian to humanity sometimes. Christopher just sighed. “That answer doesn’t tell me as to where. As for being bored you a watcher not rogue what in the heavens … Why do you … You do realize that you have responsibilities correct? And you want to be on your own …” OK, the male was frustrated and he threw up his hands a and turned around to leave. Justin wasn’t a bad kid or anything but, he just didn’t pay attention, he didn’t listen and sometimes he just didn’t act as if he belonged.

Christopher would never tell him such but it was a thought that would some creep into his mind, one he found it hard to get rid of. The truth was, the two didn’t understand each other well at all, one was very serious, the other playful, one older and one very young and finally, one of wisdom and one of curiosity and sometimes rather naive.

He’d been told to do a job, a simple one at that but instead he grew bored and left. Christopher did understand that the younger was impatient but what he didn’t understand that for everything there was a reason and behind every task a test. He could not be trusted with the smallest of God’s creature how could he be with the most important?

The last statement had stung, more then that the fact that Christopher seemed unwilling or unable to deal with him any longer. Lowering his head again, he didn’t move for he as unsure where to go. As Joshua took in the scene, he moved behind Justin. “Go take up your charge and a apologize to Michel, Christopher had to send him what you took off.” Justin turned to say something but a shake of Joshua’s head silenced him as he tuned to leave.

Sighing some Joshua followed the main path, in which he assumed he would find Christopher on. Heaven wasn’t what some may expect really. The term “Life after Death” was in fact the best way to describe where the angels called home. If anything, one may think of a small town, the type of place you wish your children to grow up in. Everyone had a small space to call through own, their surroundings were beautiful and peaceful, from here they could see God’s most remarkable creations and it was a sight that truly was breath taking.

Licking his lips, he walked towards the church many of them used to study and pray in. It was true God himself was approachable to them but many had learned to think and listen through prayer and they held true to the tradition. Sometimes you could only truly hear yourself when you weren’t saying anything. One never knew when God as listening, sometimes Joshua believed it was bets that way, you never knew if the answer to your problem was inspired by God or was found within your own heart. It gave one both confidence and comfort.

As he entered the church, his eyes moved towards the front of the sanctuary. Bowing on one knee for a moment, he returned to standing position before joining his friend close to the front. “May I join?” He asked once he had reached Christopher, he noted the other wasn’t in pray or deep thought before speaking, though he wanted to very much to speak with him he would never interrupt so rudely. Christopher just noted his head before moving further into the pew to give the younger male more room to be comfortable.

As Joshua sat down Christopher began speaking. “I don’t know what to do with him.” He stated simply, both of course knew whom they spoke of. “He’s young still.” Joshua answered. “We all had times where we were unsure and even stubborn. He’ll learn in time.” Christopher just spoke his head. “Not all are as bad. Yes, I understand there are mistakes and questions but none so frequently disobeys or takes reasonability so lightly. I fear he will allow harm to come to someone or himself. I cannot go through …” He just shook his head. “I won’t go through all that again.”

Placing a hand on the other’s shoulder Joshua grew serious. “James was not your fault …” Though he was unable to finish. “Don’t speak lies.” The older’s voice rise slightly in frustration. “Who else was there to blame?”

“We all make our own choices.”

The two were silent for a while, both in their own thoughts. Such a time had been hard for both Christopher and Joshua. James and Joshua had been friend, very close in fact, created at the same time they trained together and they grew together. Each under a different charge though and nearly complete opposites.

Though James was one that both angels attempted to disregard form their mind they never truly able to. Both of guilt and both of a longing for understanding and change.

“I fear he’ll turn out like your brother did.” Christopher confessed. The words were meant with a strong tensing of both his companion’s heart and body. “James acted much of the same way. He always took to heart his failures and his mistakes but he made them often.”

~

~

That memory was one f many, only the beginning really. Joshua was never told what the fight that morning had initialed, what was said or what started it and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to. Even more so, it wasn’t his business. All he knew though was after that day much changed, more and more James would leave, sometime he offered to take Joshua with him and once or twice, the darker haired males would go but not often.

James spent his times in places that were not made for their kind …

~

Joshua had gone a few times more with James after that first night, only because his friend refused to stay in and Joshua was scared for him to go alone. The more he saw that stranger though the more of a clearer picture formed in his mind as to who he was. He knew they were angels and he wanted them … He even said as much.

The night he got far to close to Joshua … That was the night the male never returned to the bar and the night James never returned home.

Looking back now, he should have gone to Christopher or Noah but he had feared getting himself and his brother in trouble. Later he had confused to both and though they forgave him, he never did himself. Had spoken up James may have been saved from the man Joshua now knew as Joseph. He never spoke of any of this though, mainly out of shame and embarrassment. Part of him wished he hadn’t come to the church; he hated thinking of such things.

“He isn’t your fault Joshua.” Christopher stated firmly breaking in his thoughts. Christopher knew what Joshua thought of the past and yes, he had agreed Joshua was wrong but he had been child and never should have been put between his friend and his responsibility. Furthermore, since that night, he’d made up for sin and more.

Opening his mouth to speak, he wanted to ask what the fight had been able that day but he quickly looked away deciding against it. They all made their own choices and they all paid for their mistakes, one way or another.

Neither said anything for a long time, but in their own thoughts, each living in the past, remembering what had been lost and praying for what remained.

Justin just rolled his eyes and he took watch over the small city part. Michael had been thrilled when the blond had finally shown up and had quickly taken his leave. Of course, he had offered a remark or two over the fact that he had been stuck with Justin’s watch but the other had just brushed him off completely, as he often did to most. Sitting on one of the high rooftops, he watched the children as played amount with another. Some were with their parents and others with their friends, while some played by the lake the others walked their dogs or what not.

The young angel was pleased to see the joy surrounding him but soon enough he grew very bored and his mind began to wander and wonder. He just didn’t understand a lot of things and no one seemed about to clarify his reality or offer answers to his questions. He wanted so badly to know when he would be given the chance to truly help those he watched.

Looking around he just sighed, at this point, this was all there as to it. He watched over the children who had families and who were happy. He was grateful for each smile they gave and he shared in their joy but he wanted more then anything to help those who needed him. He wanted to do some good, he knew so many suffered in the human world, he could feel those children who felt that they were alone and who cried at night. Why did no one understand how much he wanted to help?

Biting his bottom lip, he was soon brought back to the sight before him. Looking down over everyone, he ran a hand through his hair before leaning forward. He knew he was supposed to keep his distance but, he was a curious, always curious and soon he pushed himself from the ledge and allow his wings to take him towards the ground.

As he hit the grass, he looked left and right quickly to make sure no one took notice of him, no one had and he smiled some. Shifting some he soon blended in with the rest f the young men and women. He didn’t know why he loved to be among the humans so much but he did. They were very interesting and God had made them the responsibility of the angels, shouldn’t he know all he could about them and their ways?

The clothing he now wore matched those of a teenager. Pulling his hoodie down some, he raised the hood and headed towards the lake. How he loved the water for whatever reason. Licking his lips, he soon stood at the edge and watched as a few children waited by the water’s edge. Kneeling down he dipped his hand into the water but felt nothing and frowned. Much of that which humans take for granted was not able to be felt by an angel, the water, a light breeze or the warmth of the sun being a few he could name. They had senses of course but not on earth and he something wished to know what the cold felt like on earth.

He was full of questions; it wasn’t that he wasn’t happy with what and who he was. He didn’t know anything else and therefore should truly just content but he wasn’t and that sometimes scared him. Not as much as it scared Christopher however but that was another story all together.

One Justin didn’t know anything about which may just be a mistake.

Angels were made a certain way, they mad to be servants and they were made to only know heaven and the ways of their world and God. It was safe existence and one that was far too pure and precious to be questioned. This didn’t stop Justin unfortunately from questioning twenty-four seven.

~

Joseph could smell the angel and he could sense him, even if he couldn’t yet see him. Looking upwards he knew that the little one was close by, he’d hunted angels a long time now, before the human race had come and he would hunt them long after they were gone. Just like angels and heaven, demons and hell were eternal. He formed his own sort of agreement with the devil, as many other of his kind had.

He to worked to take down God by hitting him where it hurt the most. Of all his creations of course, man was by far the one he held closet to his hart. The angels however were a second and so much harder to steal and to turn. Nevertheless, he did what he could, some times were harder then others but overall he did well. He had caused the fall of many and he doubted the loses went unfelt.

Taking pride in such actions was truly sickening but he was not one to care or to feel. Overall, he was rewards. He took and kept one for pleasure and only when he grew tired of them did they leave his side for the next step. Most often, it was hell but most welcomed it.

As the boy finally revealed himself Joseph’s eyes found him immediately. To the world, he may have looked like an other teenager but to the demon, he looked of more. The male could see the purity and the innocence pouring from the thin and shapely curved body. Biting his bottom lip, he was half-tempted to take him then and there.

Everyone creature he was always someone new of his choosing. James’ time with him was nearly complete but oddly enough …

It wasn’t so much Justin that he wanted. Not at all actually but he knew he could use him to get what really wanted and in the end, he’d be a good runner up. He’d just watch him for now though, in the end the child would make his own trap, they all did.

~

The hadn’t talked about their estranged in years, they preferred to just forget and to just pretend. The truth hurt enough to live through to once, when relive it and why morn what you could not change?

“He isn’t James though.” Joshua said as the to moved along the waters edge. Neither wanted to remain in the church after awhile.

“I know he isn’t.” Christopher said with a near eye roll. “However that doesn’t mean he couldn’t end up like him. He isn’t satisfied with who and what he is. He always wants more. Curiosity might be healthy but …” Shaking his head he just trailed off.

“May I be so bold?” the angel asked softly. He wanted permission to speak freely and honestly. Hat he had to say was not harsh but he didn’t want to make the other feel as if he were being disrespectful. Joshua always worried about making any sort or mistake. He feared being prideful or arrogant. More then that though, he knew the subject at hand were one of great pain and he didn’t want this any harder then it already was.

Stopping a moment, the older of the two looked on and merely nodded. Why did he have that sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to like what was about to be said to him? He knew he treated Justin as if he were a mistake in the making but he didn’t view him as such. He cared for him and even loved him and it was his safety he was worried. He didn’t want him to be hurt and the boy was just careless.

“You gave James great love and affection, yet to Justin you give almost none. The way you cared for James did not cause him to fall. His own choices are what did that. I know you may fear that you gave James too much and maybe in fact you did but to give Justin to less would only lead to the same end.”

The words were met with a cold and harsh look. The very same that Justin often received and Joshua looked away. He was never one to point out the mistakes of others and in truth a wave of guilt rushed over him for such thoughts and feelings. “Forgive me.” He whispered not looking back at his elder. “I just worry for you both.” He confused.

Christopher’s eyes softened some and he did not say anything. He knew that he often hurt Justin’s feelings but the boy was born arrogant in a way. He didn’t feel the laws and the consequences applied to him, that the dangers of hell would temped him and if they did … He seemed the kind that may give in. He wanted to play and he wanted to be less then what he was. Lance was the same, he had wanted nothing more then to enjoy the life of a human and in the end and he received the life of a slave.

The male often looked in on his old charge, maybe to remind himself or punish himself though Lance’s pain. Yes, he knew the blond had made his own choice but so did they all and he refused to ignore in Justin the mistakes and the sin. Saying nothing, he walked away from his friend. He did not look back, he was angrier but he knew there was some truth in Joshua’s words but Justin was getting worse, nothing seemed to change and nothing seemed to work.

To give him more freedoms would only lead to disaster.