Chapter 2--Justin’s P.O.V.

Okay, I’ve been here for two weeks now and I think I’ve seen every female that inhabits California. I mean, I know I’m sexy and all, but damn, I have never had so many women gawking at me before. It does boost my ego just a bit, but back to the women. First person to come over and welcome me to the neighborhood was Ms. Buchanan. Um, can someone say whore? I’m not trying to be harsh but she has been over here everyday for the last 8 days and for some reason she thinks that her scant apparel is appealing to me. My God, she has two teenage sons! Why in the hell would a woman her age be dressing that way? Now when I see her coming toward me, I have to suppress my need to gag. Today, she slipped me her number and I think she actually believes that I’ll use it. I’ll give it to Trace the next time he comes over; he’ll fuck anything that walks.

I stand up and stretch some from being under that hood for so long and raise my hand to wipe my brow when I see Ashlynn’s number scribbled on my hand. A chuckle escapes my lips as I think back to our brief meeting just minutes before. Her friend… Elisha? No, Alexandra… I don’t know but whatever her name was, bugged the shit out of me. She was cute and all but why would she ask me if I have a girlfriend before she even knew my last name? She kinda reminded me of one of those girls on those Girls Gone Wild videos, you know? The ones that know they are going to be exploited and shit but still flash their tits and shake what little ass they’ve got just to get attention. Now that I think about it, I might have seen her in one of those videos. Now Ashlynn is a different story.

That Ashlynn is very easy on the eye. She’s probably somewhere around 5’5 with these big brown abysses that some people like to call eyes. She’s slim but has some meat on her bones, just the way I like it. Her black tank showed off her small love handles and I had to damn near tear my eyes away from her legs. She has long, thick, jet-black hair that stops just below her perky, perfectly rounded breasts. Her sun-kissed skin reminds of the color mahogany and the sunlight only enhanced her radiant features. To sum her up in one word would be impossible but if I had to, the word would be pulchritudinous, and I don’t even know what kind of personality she has.

She seemed really nervous and jumpy even. I wonder if she’s always like that or if it’s just when she meets new people. That friend of hers said she gets nervous at times. Yeah, that’s it, she was just nervous, once we get to know each other she’ll probably open up and become more comfortable. She looked a little embarrassed too, especially when the big mouth told me she was single. It was cute though, the shyness I mean. That’s what is intriguing me about her. She barely looked at me but for some reason she was just drawing me into to her like when a fish catches bait. Damn she’s beautiful.

I don’t what it is, but something about black women excites me. Even when I was younger, I was just enthralled by these sexy creatures. Maybe it’s the way they’re built with those thick but firm thighs and booty’s so amazing you’ll want to drop to your knees and pray to it. Don’t get me wrong, I find some white women attractive but I need more than just blonde hair and blue eyes. I’ve dated a few white girls in my day, but I do know what they mean when people say ‘once you go black, you never go back’. I’m not just talking about the sex, although that’s reason enough for the saying. Black women just captivate me, okay? I’m damn proud to be struck with jungle fever and will flaunt it till the day I die.

Anyway, I really hope Ashlynn decides to come to the party on Saturday. That would give me a chance to steal her away for a few hours and see who she really is. God, I have never thought about anybody like this before, I need something else to do. I look back over at her place and see that the big mouth has left and I’m tempted to go over and see what she’s up to but I’m filthy. I’ve got oil and shit all over me and I smell like a zoo. I put my rendezvous plan on the back burner and shut the hood of the car. My phone starts to ring and 50 cent’s Candy Shop beings to fill the air. I grab it from the passenger seat and flip it open.

“What up Trace?”

“What up dawg? How’s it hangin’?”

“You know, nothing out of the ordinary.” I say throwing the towel I was holding in the garage.

“Good, look man, the painter is done with the shop and he wants you to come out and see it before the other guys start to work on the floor.”

“He’s done already? Shit that was fast. Alright, give me 30, I’ve gotta shower and shit. Hey, I’ve got a new number for ya.” I laugh as I shut the garage door and jog up the stairs to my bedroom.

“Oh yeah? Is she hot man?” His tone instantly lighting up.

“Um… yeah?”

“Aw man, why do always throw me the fucked up ones dude?” His southern drawl fills my ears and I laugh loudly.

“What are you talking about Trace? You asked me if she was hot and I said yeah.” I turn on the hot water and start to undress.

“No you didn’t fuck face, you said it like it was a question. She’s a dog, ain’t she?”

“Man, she’s not all that bad.” I’m a terrible liar, can you tell?

“Sure, sure. Just get your lily white ass down here.” He chuckles.

“Okay Trace.”

I close the phone and throw it on the sink counter hearing a hard thump. I step into the stream of steaming water and curse lightly as I adjust to the heat. I turn around and let my head fall as the water cascades down my back. My thoughts quickly return to Ashlynn and her plump… damn, I need to stop. Justin jr. is starting to get a little happy. I finish my shower as fast I can and jump out and dry myself off. Justin jr. is still a little upset with me since it has been awhile since he’s gotten to play, if you know what I mean. I walk through my bedroom and pick out some attire and soon I’m heading toward down town Los Angeles. I pull up the location of our new auto shop and instantly target Trace and the painter. Trace gives me a head nod and throws his cigarette to the ground and stomps it out. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to take longer than it needs to?

When I get home it’s a little after ten. It’s still about seventy degrees with a nice little breeze so I decide to sit on the porch and sip a beer. Ashlynn’s light is still on. Again, the thought of going over there enters my mind. Would that be weird? Just knocking at the door at 10:12 and saying, hey, what’s going on? That would freak her out huh? She’s already half scared of me, why would I want to make it worse? Just then, her light goes out and I sort of sigh in relief because now I don’t have to come up with excuses as to why I’m not going over there. I down the rest of my beer and head back into the house. Once in my bedroom, I shut off the light and climb under my baby-blue sheets and let out a long sigh. Justin jr, is bothering me again so I guess I’ll just have to play with him since, you know, it’s been awhile. My hands slip slowly into my boxers and thoughts of sweet Ashlynn once again, float through my mind.

[Next]

Chapter 3

Guess what I’m doing? Yep, watching him. Well, he’s not him anymore, he’s Justin. Once again, he’s outside messing around with that damn car of his. It’s only 9:30 in the morning and he’s been out there for at least and hour, maybe more. I still can’t believe that Olivia dragged me over there, I’m still embarrassed about it. Then I acted so stupid and barely said anything above a whisper. Ugh. But, I have to admit, it was kinda nice talking to him. He seems sweet and intelligent which is rarity when it comes to men in California. My thoughts turn back to Olivia as I turn from the window and start to make my way down to the kitchen. Was I too hard on her? I shouldn’t have yelled at her like that, she was only trying to help I guess. I mean, I wouldn’t have had the courage to over to him myself and say anything. Shit, now I feel bad.

But on the other hand, she knows me. I don’t do well with introducing myself and talking to people I don’t know. And the stuff she told him about me, that was down right stupid. I’m an adult, I don’t need someone talking for me. I’ve made a decision, I refuse to let her make me feel sorry for how I reacted. I had every right to be angry and that’s that. I open the refrigerator and look for something to eat. I need to go to the store because my fridge is pathetic. Not having anything else to do, I start to make a list of stuff I need. As I walk around the kitchen trying to think of things to get, I see a note sitting on the table. Recognizing Olivia’s chicken scratch, I pick it up and sigh when I glance over it.

I’m sorry, don’t be mad at me please. I shouldn’t have said that about, you know. I don’t know what gets into me sometimes, I just get these stupid ideas and I act on them without thinking how it will affect people. I truly am sorry about this whole Justin thing, I was just trying to help out. Call me?

Liv

Aw, man. Here she goes making me feel bad again. I really hate being a girl sometimes. I put the note back on the table and make a mental note to call her. I think I’ve thought of everything I need so I head back upstairs and start to get ready for the day. About an hour later I step into the kitchen again. I grab my keys, purse and grocery list and head toward the garage, but not before I peek out the window to get a look at Justin. His car is no longer in the driveway, coast is clear. I walk out to the garage, lock the door behind me and jump into my 2005 SLK 350 Mercedes-Benz Roadster. I wasn’t lying when I told him that I make serious cash.

I pull out of the driveway and pretty soon I’m on the highway heading toward my favorite flea market on the south side of LA. It’s about a forty-five minute drive but it never bothers me much. It’s such a beautiful day and with the top down I can feel the wind hitting me in the face. I can’t imagine living anywhere else than California. The weather, the scenery and everything is just so perfect. I can a feel a slight smile on my face as I get off at my exit. There is only one man that can make me this happy without having to do a single thing. He goes by the name of California.

I find a nice parking spot not to far from the market and pull in swiftly. I put the top up, get out and lock it before I make my way to pick up a bag. I greet the little old man handing them out and head over to the vegetables. I pull out my list and get to looking for some good husks of corn. I find four good ones and head on down to collect some broccoli, cucumbers and all that jazz. I might look like a health nut but chocolate is still my favorite vegetable.

As I’m looking through the watermelons, I hear a soft voice sound behind me. I turn around to face the one and only Olivia, “Hey.” I say quietly, looking down at my feet.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Look, I shouldn’t have-" begin.

“No, don’t say it. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have dragged you over to Justin’s and told him all that stuff. I shouldn’t have mentioned Tony and his pathetic ass. I’m the one who should be sorry, not you.” She says looking at me sincerely.

“I know but I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You were only trying to get me to talk to him and I was acting stupid. I’m sorry too. Let’s just forget about it, okay? I hate being mad at you.”

“Yeah, me too. All is forgotten. What are you looking for?” She asks taking my list and scoffing, “Girl, why and the hell do you eat like this? Where is the junk food?”

I give a hardy laugh, “I don’t believe in clogging my arteries with all that nasty stuff you like to eat. Just shut up and help me with this watermelon.”

A few hours later, we finish up shopping and head back to my car. We throw the bags in the trunk and I get in the drivers seat, “Did you drive here?” I ask.

“No, I took the bus.” She says leaning up against my car.

“Okay, well then get in and I’ll make lunch for us both when we get to my place.”

“Okay.” She gets in and we start our journey home.

We pull into the driveway and I shut off the car and start to get out. I walk to the back of my car and see that Justin is back but he is nowhere in site. I quickly open the trunk and start picking up the bags so I can get inside before he comes back out. I rush up to the front door, unlock it and walk through the living room to get to the kitchen. As I walk back outside, I pass Olivia and turn to say something to her when I crash into something hard. I land on my butt and look up to see the 6’1, pink lipped stranger standing over me with the watermelon in his hand.

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He says lending me a hand.

I grab it and notice what a strong grip he has, “Um, yeah. I’m okay.” I say while trying to avoid his gaze.

“I’m really sorry. I saw Olivia struggling with this so I offered a hand. I should have been more careful.”

“No, it’s not your fault, I totally wasn’t watching where I was going. You don’t have to help, we can get it.”

“Now what kind of a man would be if I let you two carry all this stuff?” He chuckles lightly, “Where should I put it?”

“Umm…”, Oh great, now I forget where my kitchen is, “Um, just go straight through the um… the uh… the…”

“The living room?” He offers.

“Yeah, the living room and you’ll be in the bathroom. I mean the kitchen. You’ll be in the kitchen.” I hate myself.

“Okay.”

As soon as he’s out of sight I slam my palm up against my forehead. Bathroom? You’ll be in my bathroom? What the hell? I told you, when I’m nervous I just do and say stupid shit. He thinks I’m a moron, you should have seen the way he looked at me when I couldn’t figure out the word was living room. Oh man. Olivia steps up behind me and pokes her finger into my side.

“He is such a gentleman! He saw me trying to carry that gigantic watermelon and practically begged me to let him carry it. Hey, are you okay?” she asks.

“I just made a huge ass out of myself Liv. He asked me where the kitchen was and I told him to go through the living room and he’ll be in my bathroom.”

“No you didn’t! Ashlynn! That is hilarious!” She almost has to sit down she’s laughing so hard.

“It’s not funny! Oh shit, here he comes.”

I make a mad dash out to my car and pretend to be so engrossed with getting the groceries that I don’t notice him coming. My breath gets shallow as he leans over me to get the bag in my hand, “Here, let me.” He says.

I feel his hard, well defined chest press up against my back and I almost pass out. His two strapping arms reach down into the trunk, grazing my own, causing goose bumps to form immediately. His fingers lightly kiss mine as they take the bag from my grasp and I can feel his belt buckle pressing into my butt. But just like that, he was gone. I turned and watched him disappear into my house and have to grab onto the car to keep my balance. I think I just had an orgasm and there was nothing remotely sexual about what just happened. All he did was push against me and here I am ready to rip off my clothes and tell him to just take me on the lawn. This man has magic about him, I have never had this feeling before. I fan myself and catch Olivia’s grin as she brushes past me to get some more bags.

“You got it bad.” She sings the lines from Usher’s song, U got it bad as she makes her way back into the house.

“I hate you, I really do.” I whisper loudly.

She lets out a laugh and disappears back into the house. I groan loudly and try to get rid of the wetness that is creeping around down stairs, if you know what I mean. I grab that last of the bags and shut the trunk. On the way into the kitchen, I stop and listen to Olivia and Justin’s conversation and damn near drop the bags.

“Are you hungry Justin? I think she’s about to make lunch.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose. I just wanted to help you guys with the groceries.”

“Oh don’t be silly, she won’t mind. Come on, join us for lunch.”

“Are you sure? Maybe we should ask Ashlynn first.” I hear him say.

“Yeah, let me go see where she is.”

She walks into the hall where I am standing and stops with a grin on her stupid face. God I really hate her, “What are you doing?” I whisper harshly.

“He looks hungry. What kind of host would we be if we didn’t offer him something to eat?” She asks with devilish glint in her eye, “And he did help us with the bags.”

She grabs my arm and pushes me into the kitchen, “Ashlynn, here you are. Hey, how would you feel if Justin stays for lunch?”

“Like I said before, I don’t want to impose. It’s alright, I’ll just go.” He starts to move and before I can even register that I’m talking, I stop him.

“No, no. You’re not imposing at all. Have a seat, how does grilled chicken and pasta with salad sound?”

“That sounds great. Thanks for inviting me.” He says as Olivia pulls out a seat for him at the table.

Well, there’s no turning back is there? Let’s just hope I don’t make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

Chapter 4

I feel so stupid. Justin and Olivia are talking but I feel him looking at me and it’s starting to make me nervous. I’m mean, I’m nervous enough, does he have to add more pressure? I walk over to the radio and turn it on to try and sooth my nerves. John Legend’s Ordinary People had just started to play and his voice fills the air. I keep stealing glances at Justin and every time I do, I notice something new about him. How relaxed his features are, how his eyes sparkle when he laughs, how he licks his lips about every ten seconds or so. Oh my God, now I’m timing how long it takes him to lick his lips? I’m so pathetic.

About an hour later, I set the last of the plates on the table and join Olivia and Justin. She has ever-so-lovingly placed me next to Justin by removing all of the other chairs that surrounded the table. I shoot her a cold stare only to receive another one of her annoying smiles.

“Everything looks great, Ashlynn. You cooked your ass off.” Justin says looking at me and smiling.

“Um, thanks.” I say pulling at my pony tail.

“Ashlynn has always been a great cook. That’s really the only reason I keep coming over.” Olivia says and we all break out into laughter.

“Where are you guys from?” Justin asks after taking a sip of his water.

Olivia kicks me under the table and I jump slightly. I look at her and she mouths, ‘answer him’. She gives me another swift kick and on queue I start to speak, “Um, I was born in New York and I uh, moved out here when I was thirteen.”

“Cool. I was born and raised in Tennessee. This is the first time I’ve lived anywhere else but I love it here already. Maggie was right about Cali, once you get here, you never want to leave. Hmm, this is really good.” He says taking another bite.

I smile and try not to show my disappointment when he mentioned that other chick’s name. Maggie. I know that he’s not seeing anybody right now but I don’t want to hear him say another woman’s name. I’m being stupid, God I hate this. Olivia must sense my distress and tries to ease my rattled nerves.

“Now who’s Maggie?”

Justin swallows what he has in his mouth and starts to answer, “She’s an old friend of mine. We practically grew up together back in Tennessee.”

“Oh, well that’s nice.”

After a few minutes of awkward silence, I offer to take everybody’s but Justin tells me to stay put and that he’ll get everything. As he washes the dishes and Olivia continues to try and make conversation, I slip out onto my patio and take a seat on the steps. Just beyond my pool, the sun is setting and let me tell you, it’s gorgeous. The sky is full of pinks and blues and yellows and the clouds are glowing from the light that is radiating off of the sun. The wind tickles the leaves on the trees and the soft, warm breeze caresses my skin making me smile a bit. I put my elbow on my leg and rest my head in my palm and shut my eyes, just breathing in the scent of California.

“You have a nice view.”

His voice makes me come back into reality and jump slightly, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says taking a seat next to me, his leg brushing up against mine as he does.

“Oh, that’s okay, I was just thinking.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a penny, “Penny for your thoughts?”

I giggle just a little, “You don’t have to pay me. Um, I was just thinking about how much different my life would be if I hadn’t moved out here. I really love nights like this, you don’t get it much in New York.”

“I know what you mean. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a beautiful sunset before. The sunrises are just the same.”

“Wow, I haven’t seen the sunrise in like ten years. You get up that early?”

A deep chuckle falls from his delicate mouth, “Yeah. I like to work out and stuff in the morning. You haven’t seen the sunrise in ten years? You need to get up girl.”

I laugh again, “I know. With my job, I really don’t have to go into the office unless I have to make a presentation so I don’t really get up until nine or ten.”

“I can see how that would be nice, just lying in bed. I wish I could do that but I’ve gotta move around. I can’t sit in one place for too long.”

Another silence falls on us but this time it isn’t so awkward. I can feel myself relaxing and now I don’t even know why I was so scared of him. We could have been doing this two weeks ago if I could’ve gotten over my insecurities. I turn to look in the glass doors to try and spot Olivia, but she’s long gone. That’s one thing about her, she always knows the perfect time to make her exit. I look over at Justin and then back out at the beautiful scenery before us. My gaze settles on the pool and an evil though begins to frolic around in my head. Since I have such a marvelous specimen of man sitting next to me, why not get him a little wet?

“Justin?”

“Yes?”

“Do you wanna… join me in a swim?” I ask biting my lip.

He silent for a moment and looks back at me, “Sure, I gotta run home and get my trunks though.”

“That’s alright. How about we meet back out here in like fifteen minutes, I’ll leave the front door open for you.” I say while standing and brushing the dirt off of the back of my skirt.

“Okay.” He gives me that lop-sided grin and we make our way back into the house but depart at the stairs and the front door.

I watch him jog across the street and disappear in his house before I run up my stairs, screaming all the way. Once I’m in my room, I pick up the phone and call Olivia, this is just too good to go unknown. She doesn’t pick up so I leave a brief message and then search through my endless bathing suits. First problem, should I wear a one piece or a bikini? Hmm, this is a tough one… bikini it is. Okay, what do ya’ll think? The black bikini with pink polka dots or the black one with the white flower prints? The polka dots? Good choice. I quickly change into it, grab a towel and rush back down the stairs with perfect timing. He’s sitting on the steps of the back porch with a towel thrown over his shoulder. God damn, this man is heaven! He has a huge tattoo of an angel on his back with what looks like the words of ‘guardian angel’. I squeal once more to myself and then regain my composure and walk outside.

“Long time no see.” I say putting my towel on the table and walking over to the radio to get some music flowing.

I flip to the oldies but goodies channel and the DJ’s voice gets carried through the breeze, “This next song is dedicated to all of the lovers across California. It’s called Let’s Stay Together by the reverend himself, Al Green.”

“Oh, I love this song.” I say more to myself.

I hear the water start to slosh around and turn around to see Justin coming up for air. He runs his over his face and his hair and I can feel that wetness starting to poke around down stairs again. He looks at me and smiles, “I love this song.”

I walk over to the steps leading into the pool and make my decent slowly, adjusting to the temperature of the water. I’m fully submerged now and Justin again looks over at me and smiles. I smile back and start to sway to the rhythmic mix and the music and the breeze. Out of nowhere, Justin begins to sing.

Since, since we've been together
Loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue

His voice is angelic. He hits every note with such expertise you’d think he was a professional. I join in on the next chorus and our voices blend together in perfect melody, just like I would like our bodies to be.

Let's, let's stay together
Lovin' you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Unintentionally we began to move closer to each other, bridging the gap between our bodies as we continued to sing the lyrics. We are so close now, I can the heat of his breath on my face. I feel his fingers dance along my sides and my eyes close instantly upon our contact. His manly arms wrap themselves around my waist and we sway together in the water, forgetting all of our surroundings as the music continues to unite us.

Why, why some people break up
Then turn around and make up
I just can't see
You'd never do that to me (would you, baby)
Staying around you is all I see
(Here's what I want us to do)

I hug him closely to my body and he picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. My hands move into his hair and I press my cheek against his and smile dreamily as the song begins to end and fades into another.

Let's, we oughta stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

[Next]

Chapter 5--Justin's P.O.V.
FYI: Further down in the story, Justin describes what Ashlynn is wearing when she arrives at his party. You can click here to see her outfit.

We don’t even notice the song has ended. I’m holding her and feel her place feather-light kisses down my cheek and under my earlobe. My hands begin to roam all over her thighs that are hugged around my waist. I let my head lull back so she can have better access to my neck and she attacks me full force. Her sweet, plump lips graze along my neck until she finds my soft spot and I can feel her giggle against my skin as a moan escapes from my lips. I laugh with her and lift my head and find myself staring into two lust-filled, chestnut colored eyes. She bits her bottom lip and leans back, giving me admittance to her chest. Without hesitating a second, my mouth attaches itself to the valley between her bosoms, gaining a loud moan, although she’s still biting her lip.

As I continue to wash her breasts with kisses, my hand ventures into her top and takes her nipple between two of my fingers. I stop kissing her long enough to watch her reaction as I assault her sponge cake-like breasts. Her face has filled with pure ecstasy, her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. She raises her hands up to her head and runs her delicate fingers through her long locks of hair. She drops her hands to my chest and just rubs his hands over my skin as if she’s never felt it before. My assault on her breasts has ceased and we are back to just holding each other, kneading one another’s skin until it feels that our harshness has made it bleed. Her tiny hands roam over my back and butt and mine doing the same.

All of a sudden, she leans back and looks me dead in my eyes. Reading her like a book, I realize that we haven’t kissed yet. My lips yearn to feel hers connect with mine, to feel her cool tongue massage my own. She closes her eyes again and my heart leaps when I hear her say barely above a whisper, “Kiss me.”

Before she can even finish her sentence, my lips devour hers and she moans happily. My tongue coaxes her mouth open and soon our tongues are twisted together, massaging and caressing themselves. Her lips are like heaven upon mine, soft as clouds, sweet as honey but as forceful as a bull. I grip her tightly to me and deepen the kiss, making it hard for us both to breathe. My fingers itch to feel her bare skin and taking a mind of their own, they snake up and behind her neck to untie her bikini top. I stop the kiss momentarily to gain her approval. She nods her head furiously and I undo the knot. It falls free and I move to the second knot that is further down her back. As soon as it’s free from her body it floats away with the soft waves that the wind is creating. She brings her now bare torso against mine and tightens her grip, forcing her breasts into my chest. Our mouths connect once again and her hands trail down my sides until they come in contact with my trunks. She unties them quickly and pushes them off my hips. I kick them off and moan slightly when her thigh rubs gently against Justin junior.

We break our kiss again, this time she commands it. She removes her legs from around my now naked waist and sets her tiny feet on the pool floor. She takes a few steps back and looks at me seductively while her fingers play with the waistband of her bottoms.

“Would you like to help me out of these?”

“Yes I would.”

I step toward her and never break our eye contact as my fingers meet hers and slowly pull off the thin material. She steps out of them and soon all of our drapery is floating aimlessly away from us and down to the other end of the pool. The water makes love to our naked figures and we resume holding each other and placing sweet kisses on our skin. We back up to the edge of the pool and then just attack each other with animalistic lust, throwing every insecurity and caution out of the window.

Every touch from her fingers, every kiss from her lips sends chills down my spine and sends a tingle feeling all over my body. She is so gentle and soft as she explores my body. Her hands were now rubbing circles on my thighs as my lips make love to her neck once more. Her soft, supple frame pushes up against mine. Moans escaped both of our mouths as she rocks her hips over my arousal. I can feel her clit brush along my dick and felt her shudder against me. We kiss again and soon both our bodies are shivering furiously from the heat and chemistry that we had created.

But that was as far as it goes tonight. There was no sex, no touching or anything like that. But it feels so good this way. We are both exhausted and catching our breath. My back is pressed up against the edge of the pool, her tiny frame pressed securely against mine. Our deep breaths mix and harmonize and get carried away from us in the breeze. Ashlynn’s head is resting peacefully against my chest and her hand taps my heartbeat softly against my stomach. My large hands are rubbing circles on her back, soothing her into a slumber. I notice the change in her breathing and look down at her and realize that she’s fast asleep. I grip her still naked figure and lift us both out of the pool. I wrap her in a towel and wrap one around myself as well and go into the house. I creep through the kitchen and to the stairs, trying not to wake her. Once I reach the top, I pause for a moment and try to decide which door belongs to her. I go to the first on the right and my hunch is right. I lay her down gently on her bed and pull the comforter that she has folded at the foot of the bed up around her chest. She shifts and lets out a sigh but doesn’t awake. I feel a smile tug at my face as I watch the great beauty sleep.

Her chest raises and then falls while her beautiful mouth parts slightly. I bend down and kiss her on her forehead, letting my lips linger there for a moment.

“Good night angel. Sweet dreams.” I whisper.

I spot a pad of paper and a pencil on her night stand and grab it to scribble down my number. I place it back just as it was and walk back over to the door. I take one last look at her and then shut it quietly and jog down the stairs. I retrieve our bathing suits from the water and lay hers on the table outside. I walk back into the kitchen and shut and lock the double glass doors leading to the pool. I turn out her lights and walk to the front door, smiling all the way. I walk through and close it quietly and make my way across her lawn and into my living quarters. Not until I’m in my bedroom with the door closed do I let out a breath that I had seemed to be holding since she had fallen asleep. My knees give out below me and I slide down the wall and land with a crash to the ground. I put my head in my hands as our escapade replays itself in my head. Never in my life have I felt this way. No other woman that I have encountered has ever done this to me. No one has literally made me weak to the knees, made my heart race like I’ve been running a damn marathon.

I somehow find the strength to make it to the bed and just collapse. I can’t even get this damn smile off my face. I’m exhausted though, I mean, that was a pretty heavy sexual session we had. Pretty soon, my eye lids are struggling to stay up and I fall asleep for the second night in a row with Ashlynn on my mind.

The next morning, I awake to my phone ringing. Groggily, I roll over and throw my hand my hand to the night stand and pick it up, “Ello?”

“Dude, what the fuck happened to you last night? I called like eight times and you didn’t answer.” Trace said with a hint of anger in her voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I got caught up with something.” Or someone.

“Whatever. Anyway, tonight’s the party and we need to get food and shit. And you still don’t have any furniture for the deck.”

“Oh yeah, shit.” I glance at the clock and it reads 10:15, “Okay, ummm. Let me get up and shower and stuff and then we’ll go get the food and we’ll shop for some lawn furniture.”

“I’ll be over there at 11, so you better be ready.”

“I will dad”

“Shut the fuck up and get your dumb ass out of bed. If your not ready by 11-“

“Okay Trace, I got it. I’ll be ready. Bye.”

I hear the dial tone in my ear and roll my eyes. He can be so over dramatic sometimes. I jump in the shower and get dressed in record time and go downstairs to get something to eat. Just like he said, Trace came knocking at the door at eleven and we were off to complete our mission. We first stopped at the grocery store and got chips and pretzels and the steaks and everything and drop all that off at the house. We then go to Lows to find a furniture set for the patio and some chairs.

“What is wrong with you Justin?” Trace asks me while we are browsing by the furniture.

“What are you talking about? I’m trying to find a good patio set.”

“That’s not what I mean. You’ve been smiling all day for no reason.”

“I have not Trace. Dude, just help me pick something out.”

“No, something happened last night.”

I stop walking and face my friend, “Nothing happened. I’m fine and I just want to get out of here, now will you please drop it?”

“How long have I known you Justin?”

“Oh my God.” I sigh and cross my arms across my chest.

“That’s right, 25 years, your whole life. Don’t you think I can tell when something has happened to you? I know you to well, now tell me what happened last night.”

I sigh once again. I might as well tell him about Ashlynn, he’ll figure it out one way or another, “Fine, I was with someone last night, alright?”

A smile plasters itself on his face, “What’s her name and on a scale from 1 to 10, how was she?”

“First of all, her name is Ashlynn, and second, we did NOT sleep together. We just talked.”

“Bullshit! That is such bullshit! There is no way you could be this fucking giddy if you didn’t do anything but talk.”

“Have I ever lied to you?” I ask smiling at him.

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not telling you shit. All we did was talk. You’ll see her at the party anyway.”

He gave me a side glance, shook his head and then went back to trying to find some furniture. About an hour or two later, we get back to the house and get to work on setting up the furniture and getting the meat prepared. I check the messages on the phone and instantly light up when I hear Ashlynn’s voice come from the speaker.

”Hey Justin, it’s Ashlynn. Umm, I just want to let you know that I have to go into the office because some kind of crisis came up but I will be at the party tonight. Uh, yeah, so I’ll see you soon.”

I smile again but remove it quickly before Trace sees it. I cannot wait until tonight, I want to see her so bad it almost hurts.

___________________________

It’s 7:15 and I don’t see Ashlynn yet. Maggie keeps telling me about how her little boy Jake is doing but I could really care less. My body is still on fire from last night and I want to talk to Ashlynn about it to see how she feels about what occurred between us. I take another sip of my beer and keep an eye by the gate. Ms. Buchanan is trying her best to get my attention by laughing loudly and switching her ass when she walks but it ain’t happening. If she’s not a 5’5, mahogany color skinned female, I’m not worrying about it. I check my watch again, 7:23, damn, where is she?

Just then, she walks through the gate with a plate in her hands. She’s wearing a pink Tommy Hilfiger Peggy shirt and a pair of Dandy Devon shorts. I make a b-line through all of the people and see her face light up with a smile when she spots me.

“Hey.” I say and bend down to kiss her on the cheek.

She cups my face with a tiny hand and smiles back, “Hey there. I brought some watermelon, where should I put it?”

“Oh here, I’ll take it. C’mere, I wanna introduce you to some people.” I take her by the hand and walk over to the food table.

I spot Trace and Maggie off in the corner and make my way over to them, dragging Ashlynn behind me, “Hey guys? This is Ashlynn, she lives right across the street.” I push her in front of me and rub her back to reassure her.

“Hi.” She says quietly.

“Well hi. I’m Maggie and this is Trace.” Maggie says while shaking Ashlynn’s hand.

“Hi Trace.” Ashlynn says accepting his hand after Maggie lets go.

We talk for a while and I’m glad that Trace, Maggie and Ashlynn are getting along so well. Trace shoots me glances and shows his approval of her. The moment that their attention is off of Ashlynn, I steal her away and take her into the house. Once we are out of the view of all the party goers, I plant a small kiss on her lips.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

She giggles and buries herself into my chest. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tightly, “I want to talk to you about something though.” I say.

“What is it?” She asks leaning back out to look in my eyes.

“I want to know how you feel about what happened between us last night. I mean, do you regret it or-“

“No! No, is that what you think? No. That was the single-most sexually satisfying night of my life and nothing really happened. I don’t regret a thing. Why, do you?”

“No, I feel the exact same way. I’ve never experienced anything so… so…”

“Beautiful. Amazing. Enchanting.” She finishes for me.

I laugh, “Yeah. Well, it’s obvious that I like you and it’s fair to say that you like me…”

She nods her head in agreement and bits her lip again. God that is sexy, “How do you wanna handle this?”

She thinks for a moment, “I do really like you, but I don’t want to ruin this by jumping into bed too soon.”

“I agree and I feel the same way. So you’re saying you want to take it slow and see what happens.”

“Exactly. Is that okay with you?”

“Perfectly. We can still do what we did last night though right?” I ask giving her a mischievous grin.

She throws her head back and lets out a hardy laugh, “I’m pretty sure that will be okay. Plus, I don’t think I could go another day without your pretty pink lips.”

[Next]

Chapter 6

It’s been about four weeks since Justin and I had out “let’s just take it slow” talk. We’ve gotten really close though. We eat dinner together almost every night and go to the movies every weekend. We sit out on one of our porches and just talk and watch the sunset sometimes. Oh and Ms. Buchanan hates me now, but I must say that I don’t care. One day when Justin was washing my car and I was doing a little gardening, she came over to me and just started cussing me out. I told her to kiss my ass and that she looked fat in those played out Daisy Dukes. Let’s just say, we don’t speak that much anymore. Anyway, as I sit here in my office, I can’t think about anything else but sex. I don’t know what’s gotten in to me lately, but I’ve been horny as shit these last few days. I have a huge project to present to the firm in a week and I haven’t even started it yet because every time I come up with an idea, I relate it to sex. It’s really distracting to say the least and I couldn’t stand it in the house any longer.

I know, I know. I said that I don’t want to jump into to bed with Justin and I still don’t but a girl has needs. I guess I didn’t want him to think I’m easy but now, I could really care less about what the hell he thinks. I just want to get butt-ass nekkid and have wild, hot sex with him in the back of that cherry red Mustang. It’s getting so bad that I’m having dreams about having sex with him. I wake up all out of breath and shit, sweating like a pig and feeling...horny. What the fuck was I thinking when I said I didn’t want to jump in bed with him? I must have been high on crack or something, seriously. I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying, Ashlynn, don’t put yourself through this and tell him how your feeling. Well, It’s not that easy for me ladies. Did you see how nervous I was when it just came to talking to him? How am I supposed to say, Justin, I would like to have sex with you right here and now? That’s just not me. But I need to say or do something because this is going to kill me.

I’m sitting here, sucking on my pen and staring out the window. I want to call Olivia and talk to her about it but she’ll just end up embarrassing me about it and I’m in no mood to play with her right now. I let out a sigh and start to twirl back and forth in my chair, once again, acting like a horny sixteen year old. That was the most depressing time of my life and I never thought that as a twenty-four year old women, I would ever relive it. Did I mention that I have been masturbating quite a lot these last few days? Yeah, I had to break out my dildo at least four times in this last week. It’s been a while since I’ve used it, and quite frankly, it’s been a while since I’ve had a real penis so yeah, you know how that goes.

Four weeks is a respectable amount of time isn’t it? I mean, we’ve been dating for four weeks and we really haven’t done anything but make out. Shit, we haven’t even touched each other yet, although there were a few times when I had to physically stop myself from just ripping off his pants. Jesus, I need to get a grip. Stop thinking about Justin’s penis, stop thinking about Justin’s penis, stop thinking about Justin’s penis. I turn up the radio sitting beside my desk and close my eyes. I have to get to work, I have to at least come up with a damn concept for a Reebok commercial. 50 Cent is going to be showing off the new G-Units so it’s gotta have a little edge to it. The Slogan is “just me” so I could have 50 sitting in front of a mirror and… oh, counting his bullet wounds. Yeah, just show him touching his hard, chiseled body. We could spray some water or something on him to make him look all sweaty. He would then look at me and say come here baby and he would just kiss me and start ripping off my clothes and then…

My phone starts to ring and it jolts me out of my sex-capade with 50 cent. I sigh again and grab up the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey baby. How’s it going?” His voice comes over the other end I can feel my insides begin to melt.

“Hey sweet thang. It’s going pretty good. What are you up to?”

“Trace and I are just signing the last of the papers to get the shop open. You have to come and check it out, it is pimp.”

“How long are you guys gonna be there? I could try and make it out there in a little while.” I ask.

“Umm, I’m not sure. Trace has to meet some chick at four so he won’t be here for much longer. I could give you a personal tour though.” I can practically see the smirk on his face.

“Oh yeah? That sounds tempting. Umm, yeah, I’ll come out there. It might take me while because there was an accident on I-19 a little while ago.”

“That’s fine, I’ll wait for you. Then we can grab some food afterward or something and watch a movie when we get back home. Sound good?”

“That sounds great. I’ll see you in a little while.” I say smiling.

“Okay. See ya then. Bye brown sugah.”

“Bye big poppa.”

“I love it when ya call me big poppa, put ya hands in the air, if you a true playa.” He sang causing me laugh.

As soon as we hang up I slam down the phone and slam shut my laptop. I grab my shoes, not bothering to put them on and purse, and run to the door. I turn out the light, shut and lock my door and power walk to the elevator. I shout a few hellos to my fellow associates and press the lobby button furiously, groaning when it stops on every fucking floor before it reaches me.

“Oh come on, come on, come on.” I whisper when I finally get in and it starts to move. Why are these things so damn slow?

Once it’s opens in the lobby, I take off in a run to the garage, digging through my purse to find my keys so I don’t waste more precious time. Just as I’m reaching my car, I stub my bare toe on the ground and nearly fall on my face in agony. I don’t care though, I have to get to Justin. Even though my foot is now bleeding, I keep running and throw open my car door when I reach it. I throw my purse in the passenger seat and jam the key into the ignition. I’m out of that garage in no time and now, I’m about twenty minutes away from my destination. I screech onto the street of his building and just as I’m about to floor, a damn old lady pulls out from a parking spot on the side of the road. I have to practically slam on my brakes to keep from hitting the old bitch. Oh, now she’s insisting on going .5 miles an hour when I’m seconds away from Justin. I blow on my horn and swiftly move into the lane next to me to pass her. I flip her the bird and watch her gasp in horror and speed down to the end of the street. I pull into the open bay in Justin’s auto shop and slam on the brakes again. I jump out of the car and look around like a madman for him. Just then, he walks around the corner and lights up with a smile when he sees me.

“Hey, I didn’t expect you so soon.” He says kissing my on the cheek.

“Yeah, well, they cleared the accident pretty quickly so it didn’t take that long.”

He looks me over and then points to my injured foot, “What happened to your foot? You’re bleeding like crazy. Why aren’t you wearing any shoes?”

“Oh, umm…” Damn, I can’t lie for shit.

“Come with me, I have a band-aid in my car.”

He grabs me by the hand and walks me over to his car that is parked in the bay next to where I had parked. He sits me on the hood and goes to his glove compartment to grab the band-aid. He picks up a bottle of water and kneels in front of me and takes my foot lovingly in his hands. He pours the water over the cut and I hiss loudly from the stinging sensation that is now piercing through my foot. He blows on it ever so softly and then grabs gets up to grab a clean towel to wipe off the blood. When he’s finished, he wraps the band-aid over the open wound and this kisses my booboo to make it feel better. Our eyes meet and I swear that they are begging for the same thing I am. He stands up and goes over to shut the gate to the bay. He walks back over to me and we just stare at each other for what seems like hours. His hand begins to slowly caress my thigh and I let a loud moan escape my mouth. He lowers his lips on mine and within minutes we are huffing and puffing like we just got done running twenty miles. His fingers are inching slowly up into my skirt and I can feel them graze softly over my clit. My hips instantly begin to rock against them as he breaks the kiss to watch me. His hands become a little more furious in their movements and pretty soon I’m lying back on the hood of his car, grabbing my hands over my tits. I lift my head to look at him and let out another groan.

“Why aren’t you naked?” I breathe.

A deep chuckle erupts from his lips and he removes his hand from me, “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” He says as he pulls his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor.

He’s shirtless now and he grabs my hips and slides me closer to the edge of the hood. He unzips my jean skirt and pulls it swiftly off my hips motions for me to lift up so he can throw it to the floor. He lips his fingers under the bands of my boyshort underwear and begins to roll them off my hips as well. After he throws to the floor, he looks down at my naked bottom half and smiles.

“So beautiful.” He says softly as he moves up to my shirt.

He gets if off the ease and smiles at me, “Ooh, no bra?”

I shake my head no and begin to touch my self with one hand, as the other places itself on his torso. He steps back from me and begins to remove his pants and I almost pass out because I am so turned on. He kicks them to the side and stares at me while he pushes his hand into the waistband of his boxers and slowly pushes them off of his skinny hips. I gasp with excitement when I see his arousal and slip two fingers into my extremely moist pussy. I don’t even notice him go back into his car and pull out a condom from his glove compartment. He’s back in front of my now and replaces my fingers with his own.

“Lie down.” He says while pushing my down lightly.

He grabs my hips again and moves me to edge of the hood and with one hand he grabs his dick and positions it right against the lips of my pussy. He pushes inside of my easily and begins a slow and agonizing pace. I close my eyes and suck in air through my mouth as I feel his hard, thick dick moving slowly inside of me. His fingers move back to my clit and he begins to massage it again, causing me cry out again.

“Jesus Justin.” I pant hardly.

He then starts to pump faster into me and stops momentarily to lean down and kiss my belly button. He goes back to his previous speed and grabs on to my hips to steady me. I’ve always been a screamer but I have never been this loud in my life. It seems to be turning him on because every time I whimper or moan, he pushes just a little deeper into me. He right hand snakes up from my waist to my breast and he begins to squeeze and tickle my nipple. My fingers work their way back to my clit and I start to rub it harder and faster because I can feel my orgasm on the horizon. All of a sudden, he pulls out of me and commands me flip over onto my knees. I do as he says quickly and wait for him to push into me again.

A few moments go by and I reach behind me to grab his dick. He gasps lightly when my hand grabs it firmly but he removes my hand, “You have to be a good girl or I won’t continue.”

“Please Justin…”

“What’s my name?” He asks softly while again pushing himself against my opening.

When I don’t answer he slaps my ass, “I said, what's my name?”

I still don’t answer him and again, he slaps my ass but more firmly, “Ashlynn, I asked you a question.”

“Big poppa.” I whisper, closing my eyes and I start to touch myself again.

He slaps my hand away, “I didn’t hear you baby.”

“Big poppa.” I say more loudly.

“Good girl.” He says while pushing into me again.

I begin to move against his dick but he withdraws it again, “What did I say about you being a good girl? Don’t make me mad Ashlynn.” He says while gliding his penis over my pussy.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sorry big poppa.”

“Thata girl.”

I hear some rustling around and grasp when I feel his cool, wet tongue lick gracefully against my aching pussy. I then feel his lips come over the lips of my secret place and he begins to suck me roughly. When I groan loudly, he smiles and chuckles against me, sending chills up my spine. He spreads the lips of my pussy apart and then dips his tongue inside of me momentarily and then pulls it out again. He licked me a few more times and then he slams his fingers into me again.

“Fuck!” I scream as I lower my head and let him continue his assault on my body.

I feel my body tighten against his fingers and know that I’m close. I’m so turned on that I can barely hold my self up anymore. He stops and then stands up again and pushes into me again.

“Wait for me baby. Don’t come yet.”

I again nod my head as he thrusts into me. His hands connect to my hips and he is now rapidly slamming into me and my hips are bucking into him with each thrust. Although I can’t see him, I can see his face in the reflection of the windshield and his face is filled with ecstasy as he passionately pounds into me.

“Oh God, Ashlynn. You are so fuckin’ tight baby.”

I close my eyes and put my head down again, “Harder baby. Please fuck me harder.”

He takes my request and fucks me harder than I have ever been fucked in my life. I grab one of my tits and rub it harshly as tears start to slide down my cheeks. I open my eyes and can only see my hair flying around my face and hear us both breathing heavily and spouting curse words that would make Chris Rock blush. My sight is blurry due to my tears and I start to feel that familiar ache deep in my body. I begin to tighten around him again and I know that I can’t hold it any longer.

“Wait, wait,” He breathes heavily, “I want to see you come. I want to look in your eyes.” He pulls again and lets me flip over but then quickly pushes into me again and returns to his pace.

His eyes are clouded over and dark with lust and his hand massages my stomach as he keeps his stare on my eyes. Within minutes, I scream obscenities when I feel my orgasm rush over my body and squeeze him tightly. He thrusts into me a few more times before he explodes into me. He collapses on top of me, laying his head in between my breasts as he tries desperately to catch his breath. I lay my head back on his windshield, and rub circles on his sweaty back while I, myself relax and come down from cloud nine. Our exhausted bodies stick together with sweat but the coolness from his hood soon chills me. He leans up and pulls out of me, leaving an empty feeling inside of me. He pulls me into a sitting position and hugs me to him.

“That was…amazing, to say the least.”

I’m still delirious and only nod against him. He leaves me momentarily, but returns and pulls his shirt over my head. He pulls my underwear onto my legs and pushes them up to my waist. He puts on his boxers, and pants and then picks me up and lies my softly in his passenger seat. He throws the rest of our clothing into the back seat and grabs the keys. He sits next to me, puts the key into the ignition and runs back out to open the bay door. He backs out into the street and pulls along to curb. He shuts the bay doors, locks them and then soon rejoins me in the car. We clasp hands and I lay my head in his lap as we make our way back to our homes silently. He strokes my hair softly, grazing his large hands over my face and traces my lips and nose and eyes.

A short while later, he pulls into my driveway and shuts off the car. He walks over to my side and picks me up and makes his way to my front door. He reaches for the spare key that I keep in the lantern and lets the door swing open when he unlocks it. He shuts the door with his foot and journey’s upstairs to my bedroom, staring at me all the while. He lays me softly on the bed and goes over to the blinds to close them. He walks back over to me, sheds his clothes and we make love over and over and over again.

[Next]

Chapter 7

Needless to say, but these last few months have been pure heaven. Justin and I are just inseparable, we called each other probably 500 times a day, no joke. We are just another pair of lovers, whispering terms of endearment to each other and smiling for no apparent reason. Those couple always used to make me sick but now that I’m apart of one, it doesn’t bother me so much, especially with just Justin hanging off my arm. Ever since that day in the garage, you know when we did the nasty on top of his cherry red Mustang, I’ve morphed into this whole new person. It’s actually kind of scary that some guy can do this to me. But on the other hand, this isn’t some guy we’re talking about here; this is Justin. Beautiful, baby-faced, strong but yet sensitive Justin. What is there not to love about this man?

When I told Olivia about us having sex on his car, she almost flipped out. Now she is the queen of kinky and public sex but I had finally topped her. Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, Ashlynn Marie Summers is now the reigning freak-a-leak, to quote Petey Pablo. She too has noticed my metamorphosis, she’s really the one that brought it up. She said that I’ve become a lot freer with myself and sort of like a free-spirit. I dress a lot sexier than I used to, that’s for sure. Instead of putting my hair in a bun when I go to work, I just let it flow over my shoulders. I’m not so nervous when I meet new people and come to think of it, even my boss has noticed this sudden personality change in me. Damn, I must have been horrible before I met Justin? But anyway, like I said before, I feel it to. I just feel… different, a good different, you know? I’m not so self-conscience and I like it. I love it.

“Earth to Ashlynn! Hello? Do you not see me here?” I hear Olivia say as she waves her hand in my face.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I kind of spaced out there, what were you saying?” I say taking a bit into my chicken Caesar salad.

Olivia smiles at a waiter as he goes by and scoffs at me, “You were thinking about Justin again, weren’t you? Ugh, you guys make me sick. Can’t you go three seconds without thinking about each other?”

“You’re just mad because I am now the reigning champ of sex.” I laugh.

“Ha, ha, very funny. Anyway, we haven’t rated Justin yet.”

I see the smirk on her face and feel one of my own forming on my lips, “Liv, we are no longer children. Rating our sexual partners is very trivial and juvenile.”

“Oh whatever, you always want to know about my boyfriends. Okay, on a scale from 1 to 10, how is Justin in bed?”

I think for a minute, “Oh I’d say about…60.”

She erupts in laughter, “You devil you! He is that good?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Oh my god, I’m jealous! Before we get into to details, on a scale from 1 to 10, how big is Justin Junior?”

Again, I pause to think, “ 70.”

“Oh my god! No wonder you’ve been walking funny! Are you being serious with me?”

“Yes, I’m being serious. He is a sex GOD.”

“What does he do in bed?”

“What do you mean, what does he do?” I ask.

“You know, like what positions does he like and does he kiss you in Ashlynn junior and all that good stuff.”

“That is private information Olivia.”

“Oh come on! I always tell you about my sex partners. Spill it.”

“Okay.” I laugh like a school girl, “He is so rhythmic and soft and gentle when we have sex but at the same time he’s assertive and almost controlling, you know? He’s very playful and his thrusts are like butta.”

Olivia leans back in her chair, “You are one lucky bitch. I have never had a fuck buddy that was soft and gentle but playful and controlling. Damn you.”

I laugh at her and take another sip of my Sprite, “You don’t have to tell me that I’m lucky. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have even spoken to him.”

“Yeah, that's true. So once again, I get credit.”

It gets quiet for a while, but Olivia clears her throat. She only does that when she has something important to say, “Um, I don’t want to bring down the mood or anything and I’m only going to ask this because I think it’s important. Have you told Justin about Tony yet?”

I feel myself tighten immediately and she senses it too, “Ashlynn, I know this is hard for you to talk about but I think he needs to know. You’ll never get anywhere if you hide it from him.”

“Olivia, you know I don’t want to talk about it. He is just…” I can feel the tears already starting to form.

Even after all of these years, that bastard still has me scared shitless. Olivia gets up from her seat, sits next to me and wraps her arms around me, “Baby, don’t cry. He is not going to hurt you anymore. He’s gone, forever and he’s never coming back. The only way you are going to get over this is by talking about it. If you want this to be a committed relationship with Justin, you need to tell him. Plus, you’ll get rid of all of these demons that continue to plague you.”

She’s right. I need to get over this and I need to talk about it, just like she said. I nod by head into her shoulder and try to compose myself again, “Your right. I’m just scared. I don’t want Justin to see me any different or leave me because of all of this baggage I’ve been carrying around with me.”

“Justin isn’t like that and you know it. He’ll admire you for letting him in your life like this. He’ll want to protect you from everything and anything and that’s a good thing. He’ll understand.”

“You think so?” I say wiping under my eyes with my napkin.

“I know so. Honey, this relationship with Justin is the single most gratifying experience for you and I don’t want ghosts of Tony fucking it up for you. You deserve to be happy.”

I nod my head in agreement as she continues, “Plus, I think your feelings for Justin are a little deeper than you are willing to admit.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask her.

“Well, what I’m trying to ask is, are you in love with Justin?”

I look down at my hands and bit my lip. Am I in love with Justin? Is this what this is? I mean, he makes my stomach flutter when he touches me and he makes me weak at the knees when he kisses me and I get goose bumps when he smiles at me. Oh my god.

“I’m in love with Justin Timberlake.” I say more to myself than to anyone else.

Olivia shrieks in excitement and claps her hands together, “I knew it, I knew it! You are so in love with him! When are you going to tell him?”

“Liv, I just realized that I’m in love with him, and with all of this Tony stuff. I think I should just wait and think about it before I do anything stupid.”

“Oh shut up. You analyze shit to death, you love him, he loves you. Don’t be a damn baby and just tell him. You need to lighten up and be free with him.”

I sigh, “Olivia, you know it’s been hard for me every since Tony to admit-“

“Just stop.” She says holding up her hand, “See? This is what I mean. Justin is NOT Tony and he never will be. Do not let your fear get in the way of this Ashlynn. Justin is the best man you have been with in your entire life and if you play your cards right, there could be wedding bells in the future. I say this again, don’t let Tony fuck this up for you.”

I nod again. I’m not going to let Tony mess this up. For the first time since we’ve been apart, I’m letting Tony go.

________________________________________

It’s now 10:45 and Justin and I are settling into bed over at his house. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, brushing my hair while he tells me about his day from the bathroom. He shuts off the light and walks in to the bedroom and turns on the TV. I set my brush down on the night stand as he props his pillow up against the headboard to get comfortable. It’s now or never Ashlynn.

“Umm, Jay, can we talk?”

“Sure baby. What’s on you mind?” He asks while turning the channels to ESPN.

“It’s really important Justin. Can you turn off the TV?” I ask quietly.

He looks over at me and must note the seriousness in my face because he turns off the TV and takes my hands into his own, “Are you okay baby? What’s the matter?”

“Um, I am becoming really comfortable with you Justin. I feel so different that how I used to and I just… I really like you.” I laugh nervously, “And if we want this to be a committed relationship then I need to tell you something about a past relationship of mine and just get everything off my chest and put it on the table.”

I take a deep breath and begin my story, “When I was twenty, I met this guy named Tony Washington in college. He um, he blew me away. He was kind and sweet and loving, but then things started to change when we finally got together.”

I feel Justin squeeze my hands and I continue, “You see, once we got together, he stopped being all kind and sweet and showed me a different side of him. He... He um…” My tears begin to cascade down my face and my hopes of getting through this story without becoming emotional are shot, “He began to hit me. They were just little slaps across the face and he always apologized but after time passed, they became punches in the face. He began throwing me around and just beat the crap out of me on a daily basis. He got into drugs and alcohol and things just got worse and worse and worse for me.”

“He used to call me names, terrible names and he used to tell me that I was nothing but a slut and a whore and that the only reason he was interested with me in the first place was because he thought I was easy.” I’m shaking now because I’m crying so hard, “He cheated on me left and right, with everyone. Friends, family members, everybody. But I loved him and I kept telling myself that things would get better but I was so stupid. At night, when he would come home from drinking he would… rape me.” I bring my hands to my face to cover it in shame. I just sob into them and I feel Justin pull me into his chest.

“He would force me to do all of these nasty, degrading things and he would tell me that if I ever told anyone, that he would kill me. I never said anything! I never said anything to anybody because I knew he would do it. So I stayed with him for three years and let him torture me day in and day out. I was such a coward! I was such a coward.”

I just break down then and cry into Justin’s chest. I can faintly hear him telling me that it’s okay and I swear I hear a small sob escape his lips. He squeezes me tightly and gently rocks us back and forth, kissing me in my hair and whispering comforting words in my ear. He lays me down gently and I close my eyes, trying to will the disturbing flashbacks out of my head while still sobbing like a newborn baby. He tells me to lift my arms above my head and shrugs off my shirt, leaving me bare-chested. He moves his hands down to my boyshorts and removes them.

“Baby, look at me.” He whispers.

I lift my head and meet his teary eyes. His tears slide down his cheeks and hit the sheet but he makes no attempts to brush them away.

“I love you.” He whispers to me.

I close my eyes again and drop my head back on the pillow. Another load sob leaves my lips and I feel him hover over me, “I love you too.” I whisper back to him and his lips crash on top of mine.

We both naked now, sitting in the middle of bed with my legs and arms wrapped around his waist and back. We’re not doing anything, we are just holding each other and crying. He kisses the side of my face and whispers that he loves me again and I begin to cry harder. Why has God placed such a man on earth? More than that, why has he given him to me?

“I love you too, Justin.”

He lays us back down and pulls the comforter over our naked bodies. He grabs a hold of me again and squeezes me into him until I feel like we’ve meshed into one being. One of his legs snakes in between mine and he kisses me on my nose one last time. I feel myself begin to doze off and the last thing I hear from him is, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you baby. I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

I believe him when he says it. For the first time since I’ve been with Tony, I lay my heart in another mans’ hands.

[Next]

Chapter 8

He loves me. Justin Timberlake told me he loves me last night. I love him. I really like saying that, you know, that I love him. It felt so good to say it though; it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I had been thinking that I was in love with him for a while but I really didn’t realize it until I talked to Olivia yesterday. That girl is wiser beyond her years, I tell ya. As I lay here, naked, in Mr. Timberlake’s arms, I feel free. Free from Tony mostly. I had been carrying him around for way to long and now I just feel free of him, of our past relationship and free of that low self-esteemed me. To quote Ace Ventura, I have exercised the demons!

Did I tell you that he loves me? I did, huh? Well, I’m going to tell you again. He loves me. God that feels good! We are lying on our sides, my back up against his chest and his arm is draped over my stomach. He is breathing softly against my skin and a smile creeps up on my face. This beautiful man, this sexy, heavenly man, loves me. A giggle escapes my lips and I quickly cover my mouth with my hand so I don’t wake him. I close my eyes and take in his scent once more before I begin to wiggle from under his grasp so I can make breakfast. I take a quick shower and raid his closet for a pair of boxers and a shirt before I skip down the stairs and walk into his lavish kitchen. I spot a small radio sitting on the floor next to the patio doors and pick it up and plug it in. Instantly, the Black Eye Peas Don’t funk with my heart fills the kitchen and I begin to move to the beat.

As I move around the kitchen, gathering all of the materials I need for pancakes, I feel two strong arms wrap themselves around my middle section. I jump and scream at first but laugh when I feel his feather soft lips on the side of my face. I low chuckle rumbles from deep in his throat and it vibrates against my skin, sending soft chills up my spine.

“You are so damn sexy in my clothes.” He whispers in my ear and kisses me again.

“Thank you. I hope you are hungry because I’m about to cook up a storm.”

He laughs again, “Good, I am hungry. You need any help sweetness?”

“No, I want to do this for you. Just sit down and relax.”

Again, he kisses me and takes a seat at the kitchen table. I can feel his eyes on me and I turn to look at him, “What are you looking at me for?”

He smiles softly and motions for me to join him, “Come ‘mere.”

I saunter over to him and take a seat in his lap and throw my arms around his neck. He looks over my face for a minute and then raises a hand to wipe away some hair that had fallen in my face, “You’re beautiful.”

There’s something in his eyes that means a lot more than just ‘your beautiful’. I can tell he’s thinking about last night and something in his face is telling me that he’s disturbed in a way. He continues to look me over and puts his arms around me and squeezes me a little, “You… You blew me away last night Ash.”

I look down at my lap, a bad habit that I need to get rid of, “I know.” I say barely above a whisper.

His index finger places itself under my chin and lifts my head so I am now looking back in his eyes, “It’s not you baby. It’s just… I’m really happy that you opened up to me like that, but at the same time, hearing all of those things that he did to you upset me, deeply. I can’t fathom what you had to go through with him and I swear to you, I will never, ever, treat you like that. He was not a man Ashlynn and what he showed you was anything but love. I had a really hard time falling asleep after we made love and I…”

He cut his speech short and just looked at me again. I sucked in my lip and waited for him to continue. He let out a deep sigh and looked away from me and outside to his patio. When he turned back to me a few seconds later, his brilliant blue eyes were glassy with tears, threatening to spill from his deep blue pools. A lone tear makes its escape and trickles down his slightly pale cheek. My heart swells with passion and pain and I wipe away his emotions. More plump tears travel down his warm cheeks and I’m struggling to wipe them all away.

“I don’t want you to hurt because of me Justin.”

“No, it’s not that. I just can’t bear to think about you hurting like that. Feeling like you were alone and trapped. It just makes me so damn mad to think about you having to endure that kind of pain.”

“That was a long time ago and for the first time, last night, I set myself free of him. You make me forget all of that Justin and I love you for that. I love you for being the man that you are.”

“And I love you. Now, where’s my food woman?”

We share a laugh together, but we don’t move. I kiss him softly, tell him I love him again and return to our breakfast. I am so lucky to call Justin my man, you have no idea how amazing that feels.

______________________________

“Hey babe, I have to go into the office to pick up my laptop. I forgot it yesterday after that meeting I had.” I call to him while lacing up my Nike’s.

“Okay, so you’ll be home in like thirty?”

“Yeah, then we can go out and do something okay?”

“Sound good baby.” He says leaning over the couch and kissing me on the cheek.

I smile and stand to my feet and grab my purse from the coffee table, “Is it okay if I take the Mustang? You know I love that car.”

“You know you don’t have to ask. Just get your sexy ass back here as quick as possible.”

“Okay, okay.”

I’m almost out of the front door when Justin calls to me again, “Ashlynn?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.” He says smiling.

I giggle, “I love you too Timberlake.”

“Good, you should.”

I slam the door in response but laugh all the over to the mustang. I start it up and start my decent into the city. I pull up at my building in no time and pull into a parking space in front because I don’t plan on being in there long. I say hi to Janice, the receptionist and jump into the elevator that someone was kind enough to hold for me. It reaches my floor and as I’m walking through the office, my secretary, Stacy stops me.

“Ashlynn, there is someone waiting in your office.”

“Someone in my office? I’m not expecting anyone, I wasn’t even supposed to come in today.” I say bewildered.

“I know and I told the gentlemen that but he told me to just get you on the phone. I called over at Justin’s but he said that you were on your way.”

“Well, did you get his name?” I ask still puzzled about the mystery guest.

“No, he wouldn’t give it to me. Do you want me to call Jeff?”

Jeff is the security officer for the building, “Um, no. I’ll handle this.”

I swiftly open my door and begin to speak, “Um, can I help you?”

The mystery man is sitting in my chair, but with his back to me. He chuckles deeply and slowly turns to face me. When I get a look at his face I almost faint, I can’t breathe. The tears instantly well up in my eyes and my chin begins to tremble. He couldn’t have found me, he couldn’t have. Jesus Christ.

“T-Tony?”

“Yes sweetheart. You haven’t forgotten my baby?” He says smugly and smiles at me, “Close the door.”

I can’t move I’m so frightened at this moment. I can’t even move when he gets out of my chair, walks over to me and then reaches past me to close and lock my door. I let out a sob as he backs up from me and looks me over.

“You look good Ashlynn. You’ve changed a lot babe.”

I still don’t speak, “What’s the matter honey? Cat got your tongue?”

He slides his index finger under my chin but I jerk away from him and find some strength, “What are you doing here?” I ask trying to sound confident.

“You mean, how did I find you? Well, it was hard and it took me almost a year but here I am.”

“What do you want from me Tony?”

“I want you baby. I love you Ashlynn and we were meant to be together. I was heartbroken when you just up and left me back in college, I thought we were in love.”

I let out a laugh, “Love? You call beating the shit out of me love?”

“Baby, you made me angry. If you have just learned to keep quiet and do what I told you too, you could have saved yourself the pain.”

He turns away from me and walks back over to my desk. He picks up a recent picture of Justin and I and turns back to me, “Who is this?”

“None of your damn business.” Where is this new found strength coming from?

He laughs again, “None of my business huh?”

“That’s what I said isn’t it.”

He smiles and looks at me, “You sure have got a smart mouth on you. You know I don’t like-“

“I don’t give a fuck what you like. Get the fuck out of my office you piece of shit.”

He’s shocked that I’ve spoken to him this way. He looks back at the picture and then places it back on my desk, “Alright, I won’t cause a scene. But, don’t think this is the last time we’ll see each other, Ashlynn. You belong to me and no faggity-ass white boy is going to take you away from me. Don’t make me go after him too, okay?”

He walks over to me again and kisses me on my cheek. The contact makes my skin crawl and I close my eyes and grit my teeth, “I’ll see you later Ashlynn.”

And with that, he opens the door and walks away. Stacy looks at me from her desk but I motion that it’s okay and shut my door again. But as soon as it’s closed, I slide down to the floor and pull my knees into my chest and just cry. How could he have found me? And now he knows where I work and he knows about Justin. God, I can’t let Justin get hurt, I can’t. What if he knows where I live? What if he finds Olivia too? I must be crying loud now because Stacy is now banging on my door. I can barely hear it though, I’m so far from reality, it’s not even funny. I have no idea how long it’s been but I hear Justin’s voice come through the door.

“Baby? Baby, it’s Justin honey. Open the door for me.”

I stand slowly, grasping on to the handle of the door to steady myself. I open it but loose control of my legs and Justin catches me and holds me to his body. He walks me over to my chair but I fight him horribly; I don’t even want to sit in that chair anymore. So instead, he sits me on the desk and kneels in front of me, rubbing his hands on my thighs softly.

“What happened Ash?” I don’t answer him, “Baby please tell me what happened. Stacy told me that someone was waiting in here for you when you got here. Did he hurt you? Who was he?”

He’s frantically searching my body to see if there are any marks or evidence but he finds none. I can’t tell him that Tony was there, he won’t love me anymore for pulling him into this situation. With each passing moment, I can feel myself slipping further and further away from reality. I don’t want this to happening right now, especially when things were getting to be so good. I can’t loose Justin, if I do, I’ll die. I’ll just die and then I’ll be alone again. God, I hate to be alone. I look into Justin’s eyes and see hurt and panic and… pain. I can’t do this to him, I have to tell him.

“Tony.” I whisper.

“What did you say? I didn’t hear you.”

“Tony. It was Tony.” I say louder.

Instantly, I see a transformation take place in Justin. He tenses up and his eyes go from pain stricken to dark and angry, “Your old boyfriend Tony? The one you told me about?” His voice is harsh and dripping with anger.

I just nod and he looks away from me as to regain his softness. He looks back at me and takes my face in his hands, “This is not your fault. He will NOT hurt you, okay? I will not let that bastard hurt you. I’ll do whatever the fuck I have too to keep his sick ass away from you, you got it?”

I nod and start crying again, “I promise you Ashlynn. I will protect you from him this time. You are not alone anymore.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and through my legs around his waist as he stands up. He grabs me firmly, picks up my laptop and makes his way out of my office. He assures Stacy that I’ll be okay and then proceeds to carry me all the way out to our cars. I see his friend Trace in the Mustang and I try to smile but I can’t even manage that. Justin puts me in the passenger seat of his Escalade, starts it up and soon we’re back at his place. He’s holding me again in his living room and telling me that everything will be okay and a part of me believes him. But the other part of me knows Tony, and when he says that he’ll come after you, he will. I just don’t want Justin and Olivia to get hurt, I don’t care what he does to me.

I look out of one of the windows from Justin’s living room and look over at my once peaceful sanctuary that I call home. I shudder at the thought of Tony possibly knowing where I live. I can’t even look at my own home now, and I close my eyes and try to keep the bile from rising in my throat. I hold on to Justin tighter and wish that today hadn’t of happened. I can’t keep my breakfast down much longer and I jump from Justin’s grasp and run into the bathroom where my vomit stains the once white, porcelain toilet bowl. Justin pulls my hair away from my face and rubs small circles on my back until I’m finished being sick. He let’s me wash out my mouth and jogs up his stairs to grab my toothbrush and hands it to me when he returns. When I’m finished, he wets a washcloth and dabs it along my forehead and then down my cheek bones and along my jaw line. I dissolve in to tears again and he picks me up carefully and carries me up to his room.

Before I know it, I’m asleep in his arms. I wish this would never end.

[Next]

Chapter 9- Justin's P.O.V.

Well, it’s been a few weeks since Tony showed up and the good news it he hasn’t shown his face since. The bad news, you ask? Ashlynn is terrified to even step foot in her own home and she hasn’t been to work in weeks. The company told her she could stay out as long as she needed to get herself back together and that’s exactly what she needs. She’s been so fragile and just plain weak lately and in all honesty, it scares me. Now I know that she has a tendency to be shy and all but Ashlynn is a very strong, independent woman. I would have never imagined that she could break to the point that she has these past few weeks. But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. She needs me and until she’s back on her feet, I’ll be right by her side.

That prick pisses me the fuck off. Who in the fuck does he think he is coming back into her life like this? Fuck, if I could get close to him right now, I’d probably kill him. It also pisses me off that he has my baby afraid to walk into her own home. I’ve had to go over there and get her clothes and things because she’s been staying with me, although it’s not all that bad. If this were under different circumstances, I might have brought up us maybe moving in together. But, since the situation is fucked up, I won’t say anything until the air is clear and we are Tony free. She does come with me when I have to go to work, I think she enjoys it a little more than I do. I think it’s because she feels safe when she’s around Trace and I, I don’t know.

Right now, Trace, Ashlynn and I are walking back to the shop because we have just finished lunch. We walk in through the open bays where some of our employees are hard at work and Ashlynn walks back into the office. Trace gets called over to help someone out and I follow Ashlynn back into the office. I shut the door and the walk over to where she has planted herself on my desk.

“Hey.” I say placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“Hi.”

“How are you?”

She sighs, “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods her pretty head again and gives me a soft smile. I think she’s okay, I really do. She’s not as great as she used to be but I can see her building up her confidence again as the days go by. Maybe things are getting back to normal. Just then, Trace opens the door and leans against the frame, “Are ya’ll busy?” He asks with that damn smirk on his face.

“No, what do you need man?” I ask.

“We need a part for the Lexus IS and I think we can get them one from the Merlin’s down the street but I need someone to go down and get it for me.”

“I’ll get it.” Ashlynn says getting down from the desk and walking towards Trace.

“Are you sure? If you guys are busy I can-“

“Trace, just shut up and give me the money.” She says holding out her hand.

Trace digs in his pocket and pulls out some cash and he tells her what part to get. She blows me a kiss and I watch as all my male workers stop to admire that basketball booty she has. I have to tell her about wearing that tight shit when she comes into work with me. I don’t want these greasy dudes staring at my lady. Trace and I walk back into the bay area and make small talk for about ten to fifteen minutes. Just then, a tall black guy in a pair of khaki shorts and a Polo shirt walks in and looks over the place. He looks over at me, smiles a little and then approaches me.

“Hey, what can I help you with?” I ask while taking the hand that he extends to me.

“Nothing much. You don’t know me but I used to be friends with someone that you know.” He says while taking off his sunglasses and hanging them off of the collar of his Polo.

“Umm, I’m not sure who you’re talking about.”

“I think you do. She is very special to me and I need to talk to her.”

I shift my weight from my left leg to my right and chuckle a little, “Are you talking about Maggie?”

“No, I’m talking about your girl.” He says while cracking his knuckles and then staring back at me.

“Oh, you mean Ashlynn?”

“Yeah.” He says curtly.

“Well, um, she’s not here right now but she’ll be back soon. Can I ask how you know her?”

He laughs, “We used to date in college.”

They used to date in college? I didn’t know that she dated anyone other than… holy shit. My body tenses up like you won’t believe and I stare into the eyes of the man that caused so much pain in Ashlynn’s life. He notices the change in my demeanor and his cheesy smile widens as he realizes that I know who he is. My fists ball at my sides and mind totally shuts down as my vision goes red.

“What in the fuck do you want?” I breathe out through clenched teeth.

“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” Trace asks.

“Shut up Trace. Answer my question.” I ask the prick.

His smile never wavers as he answers, “Listen here, white boy. Ashlynn will forever belong to me. She is my girl and you are not going to stand in my way. She loves me and we are going to be together.”

“You are sadly mistaken fuck face. Ashlynn told me all about your sick ass and I will do everything in my power to keep you away from her.”

“Oh, don’t act like some damn hero okay? You don’t want this.” He steps closer to me.

“Oh yeah? What in the fuck are you gonna do?” I ask getting centimeters from his face.

“Don’t test me white boy. Mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.”

“Back up man.” Trace said stepping in between Tony and I.

Tony places his shades back up to his eyes, “This is not the last that you’ve seen of me whitey. You had better watch her like a hawk or one day, she might not come home.” And with that, he walks out of the shop, jumps into his Porsche and speeds off into the L.A. traffic.

Just then Ashlynn walks in through the back of the shop, “Hey, I’ve got the-“

She looks at me and her eyes fill with worry, “What happened?” She asks.

I’m so furious right now, I can barely see straight. I feel her come over to me and she rubs her hands up and down my biceps and it calms me some what, “Baby, what happened? Please tell me.”

I look at her but then turn to Trace, “Man, I’ve gotta go. I can’t…I’m too upset to stay here.”

“That’s fine Justin. I can handle it, but don’t do anything stupid.”

“Why would you do something stupid? Justin please tell me what’s going on.”

I grab her by the wrist and drag her out to the Mustang and literally throw her into the passenger’s seat. I take off without looking to see if any traffic was coming and merge on the highway. I’ve never been one to follow the speed limit and today was just one of those days.

“Justin, slow down. Are you trying to get us killed?”

I don’t answer her, I just speed up even more as my mind rethinks what happened at the shop, “Justin, slow down! You are going to get a ticket. What is the matter?”

I don’t respond, “Justin, I asked you a question. What happened while I was gone?”

“Nothing, alright? Just, be quiet for a minute.”

“Don’t tell me to be quiet and something happened.”

“Ashlynn, I am not in the mood to hear your lip right now okay? Just back off.” I grip the steering wheel harder.

“I want to know what happened. Why won’t you just-“

“I said shut up! I obviously don’t want to fucking tell you what the fuck happened so just shut the fuck up and get off of my fucking back!” I scream but instantly regret it.

I see her literally shrink back into her seat and she crosses her arms over her chest. She turns her head and looks out the window and I hear her sniffle softly. It’s silent for the rest of the trip and as soon as I pull into my driveway, she gets out of the car and starts to walk across the lawn and crosses the street to go into her house.

“Ashlynn, wait.” I jog after her and catch her arm just as she’s about to walk through her front door, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of that stuff that I said.”

“I don’t care, let go of me.” She won’t look at me.

She’s shaking violently, “Ashlynn please-“

“Just leave me alone.” She starts to fight against me.

“Baby.”

“No, just let me go!” She tugs free of my grasp and runs through the threshold and slams the door in my face.

I hang my head and turn to walk back to my place but stop when Tony’s words replay through my head.

You had better watch her like a hawk or one day, she might not come home.

I refuse to let that happen. I walk back up to the door and reach up to her lantern to retrieve the spare key. I unlock the front door and look around the sun-lit living room and into the kitchen. Not finding her, I take the stairs two at a time and stop at her closed bedroom door. I hear her sob from inside and curse myself out loud. I place my own trembling hand on the door knob and am surprised to find it open. I open it slowly and walk into her bedroom to see her on the floor, next to her bed, with her knees tucked up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. I fall to my knees and crawl over to her and collect her up into my arms and kiss her forehead.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers hoarsely.

“Don’t say that, you have nothing to be sorry about. This is my fault baby. Don’t be sorry.” I kiss her again.

We sit silent for a while, “Why were you so upset earlier?” She asks.

I really don’t want to tell her. If I tell her that Tony was there, she would break into a million pieces and I don’t think I’d be able to put her back together. I can’t tell her that he was there, it would just freak her out that he knew where I work and I don’t want her to worry her pretty little head about this. No, I won’t tell her, I can’t.

“Somebody that I knew a long time ago came in and started some shit, that’s all.”

“Who was it?” She asks burying her face into my chest even more.

“You remember how I told about that guy that slept my ex slept with a few years ago? It was him, he was being an asshole.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so there’s no need to worry that head of yours.”

The rest of the afternoon was pretty lazy. We didn’t really do anything but take a swim and then watch movies over at my crib until night fall and now she’s asleep against my chest. I can’t sleep though, my mind is racing. I adjust the pillow beneath my head but it doesn’t help me get comfortable and I can pretty much forget about sleep for now. That prick Tony has got me all wound up and shit and I don’t even know why. Maybe it’s because I know his threats aren’t empty. He did find Ashlynn again after all of these years and you have to be pretty fucked up in the head to track someone down like that. I hug her closer to my body and pull some of the covers up over her bare shoulders.

I won’t let him hurt her. Fuck him.

[Next]

Chapter 10

Things are really quiet around here and Justin has been acting really weird lately. Ever since that day at the shop, he's just been paranoid or something. I went out the lunch with Olivia the other day and he called me like ten times to make sure that everything was okay. I'm starting to think that something else happened at the shop because he has seriously been bugging these past few weeks. But, on a different note, I think I'm starting to get over my Tony fear. I haven't seen or heard from him since that day at my office and I'm really starting to think that he's given up. Well, at least part of me likes to think that. The other part of me is saying that he's just waiting for me, that he's waiting for the perfect time to rip everything away from me and send me back into that hell he called love. The thought of him still makes me shutter, so I guess I'm not as over him as I thought. Since I'm not working, Justin has been keeping me busy over at the shop. I help him and Trace out as much as I can and it's kinda fun hanging with them all day. Trace is a trip though, and I swear, he'll have sex with anything.

Justin and I are getting really serious. We've been together for almost eight months now and things just keep getting better, you know, minus the whole Tony thing. I've been staying over at his place for what, a month? Maybe even two. I've been thinking a lot about just moving in with him and selling my place. I mean, what's the point in paying a mortgage on a place that I'm not even staying in anymore. Maybe I'll bring it at dinner or something; hopefully he feels the same way about it.

Right now, we are down town with Trace and Elisha, picking out some furniture for Elisha's new place. She's a cute girl but I still have no idea why in the hell she's attracted to Trace. Don't get me wrong, I love the boy but damn, he's just a mess. We walk into yet another furniture store and I let out a sigh while running my fingers over some random couch, "You okay?" Justin asks while wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his chest.

"Yeah, I'm just kinda tired, that's all."

"Oh, I kept you up kinda late didn't I?" He chuckles into my ear as the memories of our endless love making the night before ran through my head.

"Ha, don't flatter yourself."

He gasps in mock distress and releases me from his grasp, "That was low." He says walking away from me and heading toward Trace.

I throw my head back and laugh at his childish attitude, "You are such a baby Timberlake."

He keeps walking, so I push off from the couch and follow him back to the back of the store. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his back, "You know you're my sugar daddy."

He spins around and plants a warm kiss on the corner of my mouth, "That's more like it mami."

"Would you two quite having sex please? We are ready to go." Trace yells.

I let out a sigh and can fell the blood rushing to my cheeks, "Why are you friends with him?" I ask in a hushed tone.

"You know, I ask myself that very question."

Justin wraps his arm around my shoulder and escorts our bodies out of the store and back out into the Los Angeles heat. We walk past a little animal shop and Elisha squeals when she sees Golden retriever puppies in the window, "Trace!"

"No Elisha."

"But baby look at them!" She goes up to the window and waves at the little puppies.

"Aww, look at 'em." I say walking up beside her and giggling as the excited puppies bark and jump around their little pen.

"Ladies, let's go." I hear Justin say behind me.

"But Justin..." I turn around and poke out my bottom lip.

He let's out a sigh, "Five minutes and then we are leaving."

Elisha squeals again and grabs Trace's hand and practically drags him into the store. I smile at Justin and walk in behind Trace and head straight over to the puppies in the window. The lady let's me hold one of the little boy puppies and I turn back to Justin as the dog licks my face.

"Ashlynn, I am not buying you that puppy."

"But he likes me."

"No honey. Come on, we have a lot to talk about before we invest in a dog."

"Like what?" I ask and laugh as the dog starts to nibble on my finger.

"Well, we don't even live together yet. Where would the dog stay?" He asks crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well Mr. Timberlake, If it's okay with you, I could move in with you and we could raise our puppy together." Well, that takes care of the whole waiting to ask him at dinner thing.

He's quiet for a moment but then smiles, "You want to move in with me?"

"Yes."

"Excuse me? Yeah, how much is the puppy?" Justin asks the owner of the store.

I laugh in response and scratch my new puppy behind the ear. Thirty minutes later, Elisha and I walk out with two Golden retriever puppies in hand and Justin and Trace walk out with defeated looks on their faces, "You just had to buy Ashlynn the damn dog, didn't you?"

"Hey man, she pulled out the big guns dude. What did you want me to do?"

"Say no. You're the damn man in the relationship. Shit."

"Oh just shut up Trace. You'll get used to him." Elisha said.

"Well, what the hell are we gonna do with the damn dogs for the rest of the day? We're not done shopping." Trace says.

"We can still shop with the puppies. I'll hold them while ya'll look for stuff." I say while adjusting the leash in my hand.

"Yeah, yeah. All I have to say about this is, I better be getting some pussy when we get home tonight girl." Trace says.

"I second that." I hear my boyfriend say.

Elisha and I just laugh and continue to strut down the street with our two new favorite boys jogging in front of us.

______________________________

Later that night, I plop into Justin's king sized bed and hoist the puppy up with me. I roll around with him a little and lift him above my head and spout endless terms of endearment to him.

"Damn, if only I could get that kind of attention." Justin says as he shuts off the light in the bathroom and sits next to me.

I bring the puppy back down and hug him to my breasts, "Morph into a thirteen pound adorably puppy and we'll talk."

He laughs and leans back against the headboard, "Were you serious about what you said?"

"What? You morphing into a puppy?"

"No, stupid. About you moving in with me."

I set the puppy down by my feet and look into Justin's tired eyes, "Yes I meant it. You don't want me to move in with you or something?"

"No it's not that. I just thought you were saying it to get the dog."

What the hell? Why is he saying this, "Justin, where is this coming from?" I ask while narrowing my eyes at him.

"Don't get upset. I was saying-"

"No, you were just saying that I used you to get the dog."

"Ashlynn, that's not what I'm saying okay? I know you wouldn't do that, it's just that I haven't lived with a woman before. I guess I'm just kinda nervous or scared or something. I've been thinking about asking you to move in with me for a while, I just couldn't get up enough courage to ask you."

Damn, now I feel like an asshole, "Oh. I haven't lived with anyone else either so you're not alone in this. If you think this is going to fast, just let me know."

"I want you to move in with me."

I smile, "Good."

He smiles back at me and picks up our puppy. He lays him on his hard stomach and pets him softly, "What are we going to name him?"

"Hmm, I haven't even thought of that. I don't know."

It's silent between us for a minute as Justin's large hand brushes over the now sleeping puppy, "How about Pimp jr."

I laugh, "What? Are you crazy?"

"I think that's a cool name."

"Oh my god. And I'm about to move in with you?"

"Ha, I'm not good at naming things."

"Neither am I. Let's just sleep on it and maybe we can come up with something tomorrow."

He kisses me on my cheek and carefully navigates himself under the covers. He places the puppy between us and pets him one last time, "Good idea baby."

I kiss the puppy on his wet nose and climb under my share of the covers. Justin wraps me in his arms, careful not to suffocate the puppy and the three of us fall into a peaceful sleep.

______________________________

A few more days pass by and Justin and I finally come up with a name. We decided on Marty because the dog has a strange habit of barking and whining whenever Martin Lawrence is on the TV. There is still no sign from Tony, which is a damn good thing. I don't even let Marty outside very much because I'm afraid that Tony might be waiting somewhere in the bushes. Anyway, Justin, Olivia and I have started packing up my stuff and moving it over to my new residence. I don't think I've ever been so happy before. I don't think Olivia has either; in fact, she's enjoying it even more than I am.

"What the hell are you giggling for over there?" I ask while putting some of my plates into the large plastic bins to be carried over.

"I'm just happy for you, that's all. This relationship has great potential; you guys could end up getting married and having tons of little babies."

That's sounds really nice. I mean, I have not been thinking about getting married or having kids...much, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Don't front like you haven't thought of getting married to that fine piece of Timberass."

"Did you just say I'm a fine piece of ass? I'm flattered." He said before leaning down to place a kiss on my lips, "Are you done with this one?" He points to the bin.

"Yes sir."

He picks it up and looks over at Olivia, "I know you want me Liv, but you'll have to learn to control yourself. My heart belongs to another."

She throws a dish towel at him as he chuckles on his way out the door. Needless to say, we've got most of my kitchen and my entire bedroom moved over to Justin's. We've still got a lot to do but it'll all be there tomorrow. After Olivia leaves, Justin and I decide to go out to dinner and a movie so I'm currently applying my makeup as he pulls on his black slacks and buttons up his white button down shirt. We lock Marty up in the laundry room and head out to The Azalea Restaurant and Bar, a new hotspot for people who enjoy live jazz and R&B artists. After our amazing meal, we head over to the AMC to catch the 10:00 clock show for the sneak preview of the Honeymooners, with Cedric the Entertainer and Mike Epps. That was some funny shit, I suggest that ya'll go out and see it when you have time.

We pull into the driveway a little past twelve and I climb out of the Mustang with my shoes in hand. Justin walks around the car and places his hand around my neck, where I grab his hand with my free one, "Did you have a nice night?" he asks softly, he's tired, I can tell.

"Yes I did and I would like to thank you for spending so much money on me tonight. That meal was pretty expensive."

He laughs it off, "Anything for my lady."

He unlocks the front door and I throw my shoes off to the side and go to check on Marty. When I'm in the kitchen, I flip on the light and scream when my eyes land on the island in the middle of the kitchen. There's blood everywhere, on the walls, on the floor and dripping down the cabinets and cupboards.

"What are you screaming about?" Justin walks up behind my and gasps when he sees the scene in front of us.

Something is lying in the middle of the island but I can't tell what it is. I take a slow step towards it and let out a ragged breathe. I take another step and let out a sob when I recognize the twisted and mutilated body of fur. It's a dead puppy.

"Marty!" I scream and cover my mouth with my hands as tears cascade down my face.

He's found us. He's the only sick fuck that would do something like this. There's a note lying in the blood on the island and Justin goes over to pick it up, "You might end up like this poor puppy white boy. Tootles, Tony." He reads aloud and crumples it up.

I erupt into even more tears and back out of the kitchen. Just then, I hear a small bark come from the laundry room and I race to open the door. Marty runs out and rubs up against my leg. I hoist him up to my bosom and kiss his little head, "Oh thank god, momma's here baby. Momma's here."

"Is he okay?" Justin asks.

I look over Marty, "Yeah. We have to get out of here, Tony could still be around." I choke out.

Without a word, Justin grabs me by the hand and ushers us back out to his car. His tires screech as he backs out of the driveway and he almost burns a hole in the concrete as we leave the development. I'm still crying hysterically as I hold Marty to my chest and I kiss him to try and calm myself. A little while after, we pull up at the Park Hyatt Hotel in downtown LA. We walk into the lobby and Justin gets a room, slipping the receptionist and extra fifty to let Marty come up with us.

"Is your girlfriend okay? Does she need some medical assistance?" the lady asks.

"No, no. She'll be fine. It's been a hard day for her."

The lady hands him our keys and we make our way up to our room in silence besides my constant sniffling and sobbing. Once in the room, I fall on the side of the bed kiss Marty for what seems to be the millionth time that night. Justin paces from one side of the room to another, while angrily pulling off his clothes. He throws his shoes harshly into the wall and I jump from the loud thump they make. The dog yelps in return and I hug him to me.

"That fuckin' prick. He is one sick mother fucker, you know that?" He's talking to himself more than me, "Who in the fuck can kill an innocent animal like that? If I ever get my fucking hands on him, I swear to god I'll kill him. I'll kill him with my bare hands if I have to."

He's in his boxers now, but he's still pacing furiously back and forth. I watch as he clenches his fists as his sides and his veins and muscles bulge all over his body. His usually calm, blue eyes are now cloudy and dark with rage. I haven't seen him this angry before, I'm sort of scared. Without warning, he slams his fist into the door and I scream from the violent outburst. Marty jumps from my hands and runs underneath the bed, peeking out from under the bottom of the sheet that almost touches the floor. Justin keeps slamming his fist into the door until I see smeared blood on it.

"Who the fuck does he think he is!" He screams while punching the door.

The warm tears begin to fall down my face again and I lift myself off of the bed and walk over to Justin. I rest my hands on his knotted back and then run them over his biceps and then rest them on his forearms. He stops hitting the door and I rest my head on his back and squeeze my eyes shut as I hear his ragged breathing slowly calm. I wrap my arms around his waist and cry softly into his back. It's never going to end. Tony isn't going to stop until he kills me like he did that poor animal. Justin turns around and collects me in his arms, holding me tightly and lifting me off of the ground. He sits me on the bed, and begins to remove my tiny black dress. Once he's finished, he gets down on his hands and knees and tries to coax out Marty and after a few minutes, the dog jumps into his arms and Justin places him on the bed next to me. I grab his hand, and look down at the damage he caused. The skin is broken in many different places and it's bleeding pretty badly. I walk into the bathroom, wet a hand towel and walk back over to him and wrap it around his hand.

"Does your wrist hurt?"

"A little."

"You'll have to put ice on it tomorrow. We might even have to go to the hospital to check and see if you broke something."

"I didn't break anything. I'll be fine."

"Okay." I reply.

I turn away from him get into the bed and curl Marty in my arms. I put my back to Justin and stare out of the window; I know sleep isn't going to come. Justin shuts off all of the lights and the only thing lighting up the room is the moon. I feel the bed move and I hear him sigh but he doesn't snake his arms around me like he usually does. A few minutes pass and then Justin spoons me and runs his hands through my hair, "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"I didn't mean to scare you."

He's shaking, "It's okay."

"It's just-"

"Let's not talk about it. Just... just hold me and try and get some sleep."

He sighs again and kisses the back of my neck. Neither one of us falls asleep though, nor does Marty. He keeps squirming and crying, almost like he knows what going on. Justin reaches over my shoulder and lays his hand gently on the puppy, calming Marty almost instantly. I place my small hand over Justin's and rub it gently because I can still feel him shaking behind me. He lays another kiss on my neck and lets out another loud sigh. Tonight started out nice, just a few hours earlier, we were happier than the Leave it to Beaver family. My mind keeps bringing up the images of that poor dead puppy, still lying in Justin's kitchen. That puppy met a horrible death, I can't even think about it without feeling bile rise in my throat. I can literally feel Tony closing in on me and Justin. He's only two steps behind us now. I don't know if I can handle knowing that, I don't know if Justin can handle that.

I start to sob again and Justin squeezes me tighter, "Baby, it's going to be okay."

I push Marty off of the bed, and throw the covers off of me. I turn on the lamp and whirl around to Justin, who is now sitting up, "It is not going to be okay! Did you see what he did to that poor animal Justin? And he knows where we live so don't fucking tell me that it's going to okay because it's not."

"Ashlynn, just calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I scream while harshly wiping away my tears, "What don't you understand? Tony is not going to stop until he gets me and kills you! What don't you get about that?!"

"He is not going to get you Ashlynn and he is damn sure not going to kill me."

I back myself into the wall and slide down to the floor, "It's never going to end Justin. He isn't going to stop." I dissolve into tears again and bury my head in my hands.

Justin sits in front of me and tries of hug me but I push his hands away from me, "Ashlynn, it's going to be okay."

"I don't need a knight in shinning armor Justin! I don't need you to be a hero, okay?!" I stand back up on my feet and walk back over to the bed, "Just tell me that you're scared."

"I'm scared. I did see what he did to that dog and it scares the shit out of me okay? But I’m not going to let him get his filthy hands on you. I would lay my life on the line for you."

"What are we going to do now? We can't go home and we can't stay with anyone because he'll track us down. Why is this happening?" I begin to cry harder and rock myself back and forth, "I can feel him Justin. I can feel him just standing back and watching me."

It's silent for a while before Justin speaks up, "We can stay at Maggie's lake house. It's about four hours from here and if we leave tomorrow, Tony might loose our scent."

I laugh, "He's not going to loose our scent. He'll find me, just like he did after all of these years. He's going to find me and he's going to kill me this time."

Justin walks back over to me and takes my hand in his, "I'm not going to let that happen, why don't you believe me when I say that? I'm not going to let him hurt you or Marty." He says trying to lighten the moment.

It works momentarily because a small smile does form on my lips as I look down at Marty. I look back into to Justin's teary eyes and touch his cheeks softly, "I wish I could believe you but you don't know Tony like I know him. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Shh, let’s just... let’s just get some sleep and we'll head out to the lake house tomorrow. I'll call Trace in the morning and get him to call the police and clean up the kitchen."

I nod and lay back down. I motion towards the puppy and Justin lifts him up and lays his back in my arms. Justin shuts off the light and climbs in bed for the second time tonight and he lays his arm over my waist. I really do wish I could believe him when he tells me that he won't let Tony hurt me but I can't. No one can stop Tony, not even Justin. Maybe Justin's right, maybe if we just go up to the lake house for a while, Tony will just give up and leave us be. Yeah, right. That'll happen. It's only a matter of time now before he gets his hands on us. It's only a matter of time now.

[Next]

Chapter 11

Early this morning, Justin and I head out on the four hour drive to Maggie's lake house in Redding, California. Both of look like death, Justin's skin is pale and blotchy, and I have horrible bags and blood shot eyes. We're still in our clothes from last night, since that's all we have. Neither of us slept at all. I think I drifted off for thirty or forty minutes but a noise came from outside and it jolted me awake because I though it was Tony. Justin's hand is still wrapped up in the now blood-stained towel that I put on him last night and we've barely spoken two words to each other. Marty is asleep in my lap. He’s lucky to be an animal right now; I would give anything to switch places with him. It's dead silent; the only sound is the occasional passing of another vehicle and the tires against the pavement. It's about to drive me crazy so I reach over to the radio and turn it on. 311's cover for Love Song is playing and I almost laugh from the corniness of that song being played at a time like this.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

How funny is this? Just when I'm in probably the last few days of my short life, some dumb ass disk jockey has to play this sappy shit. It's kind of like the movies, you know? Justin and I riding off into the sunset with 311 confessing love through song. It does get me thinking of our relationship and how Justin has really turned my life around. I look over at him and take in his delicate features. He stares intently on the road, his beautiful eyes never breaking their lock on the endless white lines that separate one traffic lane from another. His forehead is scrunched up and worry lines have made their appearances on his milky skin. He has a death grip on the steering wheel, so I know he's scared, who wouldn't be? Some crazy asshole is hunting him down and won't stop until blood is spilled.

He blinks ever so often but then his tires eyes get back to the task at hand. The top is down to the Mustang and the wind is running freely through our hair and over our bodies. You know how when you're a kid, the only thing you could think about was getting outside and feeling the grass in between your toes. I always used to love stepping outside and feeling the wind playing with my hair. When you're a kid, we were just like the wind. We had no worries, no obstacles, no set backs; we were free, like the wind. But then, we get older, we graduate from high school and get jobs, get married and have kids. And while we're busy doing those things, we forget what it feels like to be free like the wind. We forget to stop and take a look outside and thank the lord for letting us see another day. We forget the little things.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

I'm now remembering the little things. I look over at Justin again and a slight smiles twitches at the corners of my lips. I remember the first day he moved into the neighborhood. Olivia and I were sitting out in the backyard when we heard him pull up in his Mustang. He had N.E.R.D blasting so being the nosy whore we are, we walked around the side of the house and gawked at the beautiful piece of man named Justin Timberlake.

Flashback

"Damn, he is cute." Olivia says as we watch him enter his garage and then come out a few minutes later.

The moving truck pulls up a little while after and the five men begin to unload all of the boxes. Justin directs the men through the front door and even offers to help get down some of the boxes. He takes off his shirt and Olivia and I both suck in a breath, "Goddamn." I say under my breath as the sun beats down on Justin's hard body.

Olivia giggles at me, "We should go say something to him."

"No, he's only been here for ten minutes."

"So what? He's new to the neighborhood, hell, he might even be new to the state. We could show him around or something."

"No Liv."

It gets silent again as we continue to spy on the new stranger. We must have been standing there for ages because I'm sweating like a damn dog. I won't let that get in my way though, for I am in the midst of drooling over a fine piece of ass. Aaah, my favorite past time. Olivia leans up against me to try and get a better look at him, but I brush her off, "Get the hell off of me." I whisper harshly so I don't disturb the beautiful hunk of man across the street.

"Oh shut up. I can't see him since he's moved back into the garage."

"Well, I can't see him either." I lied.

I had a perfect view of him from where I was standing. Olivia leans up against me again and moves her head wildly, trying to catch a glimpse of the man once more. As she stands on her tip toes, the dumb ass looses her balance and sends us both rocketing toward the ground. I knock over a little statue of a squirrel that was sitting on a little concrete bench that was in the corner of my yard. It crashes to the ground and the men from across the street look over in our direction.

"Shit!" I say scrambling to my feet and running back into the backyard.

Olivia is right behind me and as soon as we stop, we almost die from laughter, "Do you think he saw us?" I choke out while holding my now aching stomach.

"I don't know but if he did, he probably thinks we are the weirdest bitches on earth."

We dissolve into laughter again and soon go back to our lazy afternoon.

End of Flashback

A laugh escapes my lips but Justin doesn't hear it. He just keeps starring at the concrete, like it's gonna get up and walk away if he takes his eye off of it. But, that might be the only secure thing for him right now so I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to at least let him have that little bit of peace.

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

As I sit here, bringing up old memories and stuff, my mind floats off to the future. If Justin and I make it through this and we're still together, I think I would marry him, that is, if he wanted to marry me after this is all said and done. Ashlynn Timberlake; that has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Then maybe we could have two or three kids. Ha, three little curly headed, blue eyed, caramel skinned toddlers running around; that would be cute. I've found myself thinking about that type of life lately and the only reason I'm bringing it up now is because I need to keep myself from going insane. I'm even mentally naming our non-existent children. That's kind of pathetic, I know. But I'm thinking about Ethan for a little boy and Michaela for a little girl. That would be so nice. Not having to do anything but just raise my babies and take care of my husband. I wouldn't have to worry about crazy ass ex-lovers and dead puppies. God, I wish I could do that now.

I wonder what Justin's thinking about.

______________________________

Justin's P.O.V.

Every time I close my eyes, I hear Tony's voice in the back of my head.

You had better watch her like a hawk or one day, she might not come home

And seeing what he did to the puppy shook me to the core. Now I know that he intends to end up hurting someone and getting his hands on my girl. I'm trying to be strong here, I'm trying to make it seem like I'm not worried so Ashlynn doesn't suffer a mental breakdown. I think she saw through my cover last night because she told me not to act like a hero. I have never been so fucking scared in my life and that's the truth. Never in my life, would I have thought that I would have to drive four hours to a lake house to get away from my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. This shit only happens in the movies. I can't help but think that I wouldn't be in this damn mess if I never started up with Ashlynn but I hate hearing myself say that. It's not her fault that Tony's obsessed with her, it's not like she knew this would happen either. But at the same time, these last few months would have so much easier if Ashlynn and I weren't together. I wouldn't have had to constantly watch my back and I wouldn't have been so paranoid. I think I'm starting to regret meeting her.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

What the fuck am I talking about? I love this woman sitting next to me. If we had never met, she'd probably be dead. He would've gotten to her so easy and she wouldn't of had anyone to fight for her. I'm such a moron, how could I say that I regret meeting her? These eight months that we've been together have been amazing. If someone gave me the chance to completely erase her and this situation from my life, I wouldn't. I remember when I had just moved into the neighborhood. She and Olivia would sneak around and stare at me when I'd be outside. I knew the whole time they were looking at me, I liked it though, stroked my ego pretty good. I would watch her too though. Like when she'd be watering her flowers or planting something.

Flashback

"Damn dude, you're staring her down pretty hard core." Trace said breaking me from my little fantasy world.

"I wasn't staring at her."

"Yes you were dirt bag."

She's watering her flowers again. She's wearing these really short denim shorts and a powder blue halter top. Every time she bends over, shivers just crawl down my spine. I've always been an ass man, and goddamn, has she got ass. She turns in the direction of my house and I quickly avert my eyes from her. I look back over a few moments later to see her sipping on her water bottle. She tilts her head back to down the rest of it and the sun hits her chest, accenting those two beautiful, round mountains positioned perfectly on her torso. I lick my lips unconsciously and feel Trace elbow me in the side again.

"You're doing it again. She is fine though, look at those tits."

I squint my eyes at him, I hate it when he does that shit, "Shut up man. You have no respect for women."

He laughs wildly, "Are you fuckin' kidding me? I have no respect for women when you're practically drooling over her. Yeah, you're a model citizen."

I roll my eyes and get back under my car. I look up a Trace again and see him staring down Ashlynn, "Don't." I say harshly.

He laughs again, "Oh I see, you're already starting to get jealous."

I stand erect and throw my arms across my chest, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't pull that bullshit on me man. I know how you get. You see someone you like and you want to kill anyone else who looks at the broad." How does he know me so well?

"Whatever." I get under the hood and scold myself for being so obvious.

Trace chuckles again and brings the beer bottle up to his lips to take a drink. I take a side glance at the beauty across the street but to my disappointment, she's has disappeared inside. I hear someone shuffling through my grass and look up only to see Mrs. Buchanan heading my way. She catches me eye and waves and being the polite person I am, I wave back and give her a smile.

"Shit." I say lightly under my breath.

Trace breaks out into laughter again and greets Mrs. Buchanan as she comes up beside him. I hate this woman, I really do.

End of Flashback

That seems so long ago now, when things weren't so complicated. I feel like Ashlynn and I have lived an eternity together and I don't want it to end here. When we get out of this craziness and when Tony is behind bars, I'm going to marry her.

Me saying that I regret meeting her is bothering me. I'm just stressed as hell, that's the only reason I said it...right? I mean, I love her; I want her to be the mother of my children. I want to wake up to her every day for the rest of my life. Yeah, I'm just stressing out but once this is over, these horrible thoughts and feelings will go away. Or will they? Maybe this is a sign from up above that I'm heading down the wrong path with her. Maybe we weren't meant to be. After this is done, maybe I should just cut my loses and move on without her. I mean, I can't go through this again. This is really wearing on my nerves and I can't just act like it never happened. This is going to change me for the rest of my life; I'm not going to be the same person after this. How will I be able to look at her the same day in and day out know what she's put me through?

I look over at her and sigh. She looks worn and just plain tired. Her dress in wrinkled and her hair is stringy because she didn't get to brush it out this morning. I hate myself, why am I thinking this way? God, I wish that someone could just give me a button to push and make all of this go away. I love Ashlynn. I love her.

About an hour later, we pull up to the lake house and I shut off the engine. Ashlynn gets out and lets Marty down so he can run around and stretch his little legs. We head into the house and I turn on the lights and open the windows to air the place out. Maggie hasn't been here in a year so, it needed a little fresh air. I let Marty back into the house and look out around the property from the back porch. There are two teenagers making out down on the sand but other than that, it looks okay. There aren't any other cars around or anything so for the time being, I don't have to worry about Tony jumping out from anywhere.

"I think I'm going to take a shower." Ashlynn says softly from behind me.

I turn to face her, "Okay, there's a bathroom upstairs through the master bedroom which is to the left. Maggie leaves a lot of clothes here so you can slip into those when you're done."

She nods and I watch her walk up the stairs and then disappear around the corner. She looks so defeated. I hate myself even more for thinking these crazy thoughts, Ashlynn deserves more than that. I need to shower and get changed, I feel disgusting. I walk up the stairs and into one of the guestrooms that I used to stay in. I open one of the drawers and find some old t-shirts and jeans of mine. I pick them up and head to the bathroom that is joined with the room. I disrobe myself as the water heats up and I step into the warm water.

About fifteen minutes later, I feel a little bit better as I pull on my jeans. I shut off the light and head back downstairs and find Ashlynn sitting on the couch, watching TV with Marty in her lap.

"You are going to spoil that dog." I chuckle as my bare feet meet the carpet.

"I know. He's probably going to loose all of hair because I've been petting him so much."

It gets quiet as I sit next to her. She sighs and I put my arm around her back, "What are you thinkin' about baby?" I ask.

She shrugs her shoulders and looks back down at Marty, "I don't know. A lot of stuff."

"Tell me."

She’s quiet for a minute, "Just how crazy this whole thing is." She laughs a little.

"It's going to be okay Ashlynn." I'm lying. I'm a horrible person.

She looks at me and shakes her head, "Why do you keep saying that?"

Please don't start this again, "Because it's the truth."

"Do you really understand what going on here?"

"Yes I do Ashlynn. Don't treat me like some kid, I understand perfectly what's going on."

"It's not making me feel any better so don't say it. I told you last night that I don't need a hero."

I stand up and walk back into the kitchen, "Please don't start this Ashlynn. I don't want to fight with you right now."

"I'm not trying to fight with you Justin." She says following me into the kitchen, "I just want you to know that you don't have to act all big and bad."

"I'm not trying to act all big and bad, I'm trying to be strong here."

"And I know that but-"

"But what?! What do you want me to do?! You want me to walk around saying, Oh well, I'm only being chased by my girlfriend’s crazy ass boyfriend. I only have to run out to a lake house so the bastard doesn't kill me. I can't do that Ashlynn!" It's becoming way too heated.

"That's not what I said Justin! Don't flip this around on me!"

"Don't flip this around on you? You're the only reason I'm in this bullshit! Do you know what I could be doing right now instead of running away with your ass? I could be fuckin' lying in my backyard, sipping on a margarita. But no, I can't even do that without constantly thinking about Tony. These last few months have been hell and the only reason they've been hell is because I'm with you. If I wasn't with you, I'd be happy as shit right now. You ARE the fuckin' reason that all this bullshit is happening so don't tell me not to flip all around on you. You're the only person to blame! I regret the damn day you ever came over to my house!"

Her eyes water as she stands there and stares at me. Her mouth hangs open in disbelief as the water in her eyes spills over and runs down her pretty face. I'm so fucking stupid, I didn’t mean those things. She turns on her heel and runs toward the back door. I take off after her and by the time I reach the patio, she's already halfway down the dock. I scream out her name as she jumps off and heads down the beach and toward the trees. I run down the dock and run after her but the tears are blurring my vision.

"Ashlynn wait! Ashlynn!"

She disappears into the trees and I try my best to keep up with her but she's gone. I stop and try to catch my breath and let out a sob, "Ashlynn!"

There's no answer though. The only thing I can hear is the water crashing up on the sand. I try to scream out her name again but my legs give out from under me and I fall to my knees. I've never cried so hard in my life. She's as good as dead as long as she's out here. His words echo through my mind again.

You had better watch her like a hawk or one day, she might not come home.

I just pray to God that he doesn't know where we are.

*****

She's been gone for six hours. I'm going out of my mind. I shouldn't have said those things. God, what is wrong with me? I run my hand over my face and that familiar stinging of the eyes comes back. There's no telling what could have happened to her. The sun is starting to set and for the millionth time, I walk over to the back door and look outside. My hopes of seeing her are dashed again. I throw on my shoes and head back outside to look for her again. I retrace our steps from earlier that day and walk through the trees that she disappeared into. Once I make it through the trees, I come to another lake house but nobody seems to be in. I walk up to the street and begin to walk back to Maggie's place so I can get the car and scale the neighborhood once more.

I run into the house, grab my keys and the dog and go back out to my car. The engine purrs to life and I back out of the driveway and drive slowly through the neighborhood. There's no sign of her, so I head out of the development and drive through the neighboring housing developments. I even drive into the middle of town and look in some of the restaurants and stores to try see if I can find her. Nothing. About an hour and a half later, I pull back into the driveway. I grab Marty and walk back into the house. I turn on the light in the kitchen, put Marty on the floor and throw my keys on the counter. I pick up the wireless phone off of the wall to call the police and hit the talk button but freeze when something is shoved into my back.

"Put the phone back and turn around slowly." I do as I'm told and turn around only to be facing Tony, "Happy to see me?" He asks smiling.

I just stare at him and then shift my eyes to the barrel of his gun, "What? Cat got your tongue? How are you doing Justy? Feeling pretty good?" He asks as he sits up on the counter.

He looks at me and then cocks his head to the side, "You're wondering how I found you right? You know that friend of yours, um... Kace or Stace..."

"Trace." I say swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Yeah, him. Well he wasn't home but I did talk to his little girlfriend for a while. She's cute."

The bile rises in my throat and I struggle to keep it from hitting the floor, "You okay there Justy? Don't worry, I didn't hurt her. It turned out the she didn't even know who I was so when I told her that I was looking for you guys, she gave up the information just like that." He snaps, "You know, you should be really careful when you tell people that you're on the run. And then you are stupid enough to give them the address. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now. Say, did you like the present I left for you guys in your kitchen?" He laughs.

"You're sick." I choke out.

"Yeah, I guess so. I contemplated killing your little mutt but he's so cute."

He jumps off the counter and walks up to me, "Listen, I don't have to hurt you okay? Just tell me where Ashlynn is and everything will be okay."

"Go fuck yourself."

He smiles, looks to the side and then back at me, "Go fuck myself huh? What did I tell you about being a smart ass?"

He connects the side of the gun to my face and I fall to the floor. I grab my face and spit out blood that has begun to collect in my mouth. He walks over to my position on the floor and kicks me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I cough violently and then throw up on the floor. When I'm done, Tony grabs by my hair and lifts my head up, "Don't be a prick okay? Tell me where the fuck she is."

I keep my mouth shut and another swift kick gets thrown into my stomach. He picks me up by the collar of my shirt and drags me into the living room where he shoves me forcefully onto the floor. He sighs loudly but another smirk comes to his face, "So you're going to endure all of this pain for that slut? There's not enough pussy in the world that would make me take a beating for a whore. Just save yourself the trouble. The sooner you tell me where she is, the sooner I'll be out of your life alright? Just tell me where she is."

I struggle to sit myself up on my elbows, "Kiss my ass." I say lowly.

Tony cocks the gun and points it directly into my face, "Don't be fucking stupid?! What the fuck is your problem white boy?! Do you want to die? Is that what you want because if it is, I can make it happen!"

"Tony!" a feminine voice screams out.

Tony turns around but keeps the gun on me, "Hey beautiful. Where have you been?"

"Don't hurt him Tony. He's got nothing to do with this okay? I'm here now so you can leave him alone." She says stepping toward us, keeping her eyes locked on Tony.

"He's sassing me Ash. He deserves it." He turns back to me and shoves the gun onto my forehead.

"No! Please Tony? Please." Ashlynn screams out.

Tony stares at me for a moment but the lowers the gun and walks over to Ashlynn and grabs her by the waist. He walks behind her and places the gun next to her temple, eliciting a scream from her. He kisses the side of her face softly, "Why are you hiding from me angel? Do you know how bad that hurts me?"

"I'm sorry." She whispers closing her eyes.

"What did you say?" He asks lifting her head up with his index finger.

"I said I'm sorry." She says a little louder.

He smiles, "I don't believe baby, because if you were sorry, you wouldn't have tried to get away from me in the first place. You know I'm gonna have to kill him Ashlynn."

Her eyes widen with fear as she locks her eyes on me, "Tony please-"

"Don't 'Tony please' me bitch! You're the one that got him involved, so you are going to have to deal with the consequences." He shoves her roughly away from him and she falls to the floor.

He begins to walk toward her and she scrambles away from him. She crawls toward me and I try to grab her wrist but Tony snatches her up before I can reach her. He throws her away from him and she falls to the floor again. He stands over her and a low chuckle erupts from his lips, "Just like old times huh baby?"

He kicks her in the stomach and she inhales sharply. I shut my eyes at the sight and jump when I hear his shoe come in contact with her small body again. She screams out in pain and the tears begin to slide down my cheeks. I can't help her. I open my eyes again and watch as she lies on the floor and clutches her stomach in her hands, while breathing and gasping harshly. I struggle to stand on my two feet, pain shoots through my chest and stomach. I try to step forward but stumble and catch myself on the side of the couch. Tony turns back to me and points the gun at my chest, "Sit down or I'll beat the fuck out this little whore."

"Don't touch her."

"Did you hear what I said?" He begins to scream, "Take one more step white boy and I swear to god, you'll never see her again."

I have to get to her so I try and take another step, "Fine, if that's the way you want, that's how I'll give to you." He says while grabbing Ashlynn up from the floor.

She's struggling to stand on her feet and he delivers a swift bow to the side of her face, knocking her backward onto the kitchen table. I wince at the sight but I build up my strength and charge at Tony. He starts to turn back to me when I tackle him to the floor and start to rustle with him for the gun. I knock it out of his hands and scramble to get it but he grabs me by my foot and pulls me back toward him. He punches me in the face and tries to do it again but I kick him in the chest. He falls back, allowing me time to grab the gun and stand to my feet. I watch him silently with the gun pointed in his face as he stands to his feet and licks the blood off of his bottom lip. He laughs again and rubs his hand across his mouth and looks over at Ashlynn still on the table. I glance over at her and turn my attention back to Tony, "Baby? Ashlynn, call the police." I say.

She doesn't move. I take my attention off of Tony for a second and look back over at her holding herself and rocking softly back and forth. Then I hear hurried footsteps and by time I turn back to Tony, he's punching me in the face again. The gun gets knocked out of my hands again as Tony begins to attack me, pushing me back on the floor and delivering blows to my face. I try to avoid his fists as I grab his throat and begin to choke him. He stops hitting me and tries to remove my death grip around his neck. I use what little strength I have left to roll us over, so that now he's on the bottom. I punch him a few times in the face but he over powers me again and rolls us back to our starting position, with me underneath him.

"I've gotta give it to you kid, you don't give up for shit do ya?" He says while breathing heavily, "Just quite while your ahead."

His hands latch onto my neck again and he tightens his grip ever so slowly. I flail my arms wildly against him but to no avail. I can feel the air leave my body, but not enter again. I'm gasping for air now. My movements start to slow and I can feel my eyes begin to roll to the back of my head when his grip tightens even more. My hands fall limp to the floor and my eyes begin to shut when I hear a soft voice in front of me.

______________________________

Ashlynn's P.O.V.

"Get off of him Tony." I say softly while raising the gun to his back.

He glances at me from the side and then releases Justin who coughs and struggles to get air back into his lungs. Tony stands up and turns slowly toward me and I take a few steps back, "What are you doing Ashlynn?" He asks calmly.

Tears rush down my beaten face and my hands are shaking violently, "Don't fuck with me Tony." I try to sound convincing.

He takes a step toward me, "You better be careful with that. One little slip up and you could hurt someone."

He steps toward me again and I take another step backwards, "Stay away from me, I mean it! I will shoot you dead if you take another step." I say keeping the gun positioned at his chest.

He stops and puts his hands in air, "Okay, okay, just calm down."

I look back over at Justin and he's propped himself against the back wall. His right eye is swollen shut already and his lip is busted. I can tell that's not in a coherent state and I look back at Tony, "You sick bastard. How could you do that to him?"

He looks back at Justin and then to me again, "He deserved it Ashlynn."

"No he didn't! He is a good man, something that you know nothing about." I scream as more tears run races down my face, "I'm not going to let you hurt us anymore Tony. I'm not going to let you do this to anyone ever again." I take a step toward him.

I can see fear run across his face, "Don't do anything stupid Ashlynn." He's scared.

"Now you know how I used to feel. Now you know what's it's like to be out of control. Goodbye Tony."

He starts to say something but my finger squeezes the trigger and the bullet escapes from the barrel and buries itself into Tony's chest. I fire off the gun again and send another bullet spiraling into his torso. He stumbles backward and then falls to the floor. He's movements cease and his chest stops rising and falling. I walk slowly over to his body and look into his eyes that are staring at the ceiling. I drop the gun and run over to the phone and dial 911. A few minutes later I hang up and rush to Justin's side. I throw myself on the floor and wrap him up in my arms and I begin to cry again. He groans and mumbles something into my chest but I can't make out his words. Marty peaks around the corner from his hiding spot and runs over to me. I pick him up and place him softly onto Justin's lap and return my hands around his upper body.

It's over now. My monster is finally gone.

Tony is dead.

How ever far away
I will always love you
How ever long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

[Next]

Chapter 12-- Ashlynn's POV

Sirens and blue lights surround the lake house now. Justin is being treated by the paramedics to my left and on my right, the police officers drag out the body bag. I clutch Marty even closer to my body and turn away as they load the bag into the back of the second ambulance. Another paramedic comes up to me and asks if I'm sure that I don't want to be checked out. I nod my head no and give him a weak smile. He nods his head at me and then walks off again, and again, I'm left alone. My eyes shift between the officers and medical staff and soon land on Justin, who is now sitting in the back of one of the ambulances. He looks exhausted. There is dried blood on his clothes and skin and his face has swelled from all of the bruising. His bottom lip is cut and I can see him cringe every time he unconsciencely licks them. His usual bright blue orbs are now dull and gray. He nods his head slowly as the paramedic asks him if this hurts or does that hurts. He lifts his head and our gazes meet for the first time in what seems to be hours. I give him a small smile but he doesn't return it; he just looks away from me and turns his attention to something else.

My smile falls. He's been doing that all night. Well, he does have a reason to be a little down in the dumps doesn't he? I mean, it's not everyday that you get chased by your girlfriends ex-boyfriend. Did I really expect that he would be all cupcakes and roses? I walk slowly over to where Justin is and sit next to him quietly. I look over at him and I'm about to speak but my voice haults in my throat when I see him slide away from me, creating a small space between us. I tilt my head back and close my eyes trying not to think that his movement was intentional. I open my eyes and jump down from the back of the ambulance. I can feel his eyes on my back as I walk away from him and make my way over to the wooden bench that is placed next to the house. I can feel the tears begining to sting in the back of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. He didn't do it on purpose, I know it. Justin loves me and I love him and everything is going to get back to normal as soon as we can get away from this place. A few minutes later an officer comes over to me and informs me that the paramedics are going to take Justin to the hospital, just to make sure that they haven't overlooked anything.

"Would you like to ride in the back with your boyfriend or would you rather me take you?" he asks.

I look at the ambulance where Justin has now moved onto the bed and his previous gestures flood back into mind, "I'd rather you take me please. Is it alright if I take Marty?"

"Well, the hospital doesn't permit pets of any kind but someone at the station would be more than happy to watch over the little fella." He holds out his hands and I place Marty into them, "I'll find someone to take real good care of him, I promise. I'll be back to get you in just a minute miss."

He walks away from me and minutes later he returns empty handed. He leads me over to his squad car and opens the passenger door for me. Once I'm settled, he jumps into the drivers seat and starts the engine. We take off after the ambulance and there's a deadly silence between us. Tonight has been a long night for both of us. I turn and look out of the window and watch the moon between the trees. Yeah, tonight has been a long night for both of us.

______________________________

I hate hospitals. It's so clean and just... white. They should really think about adding some color to these places because all of this whiteness is irking me out. I shift in my seat and try to get comfortable but I know that's impossible. This chair is fucking horrible. I shift again and let out an annoyed sigh. A few seconds pass and I can't bare to be in this chair any longer so I stand up and lean against the wall. I glance at the clock behind the nurses station; 3:15am. Wow, I didn't know that much time had elapsed since this crazy shit began. I let out another sigh and glance around the waiting room. There's six other people in here with me but nobody is making a peep. It's just quiet and I'm about to go insane. Just as I'm about to start pulling out my hair, a doctor walks out from behind two double doors and stops in the middle of the room.

"Which one of you is here with Mr. Timberlake."

"Me." I say, pushing myself off of the wall and walking toward him.

"Okay, well why don't you follow me and I'll brief you on the way to his room."

I nod my head and fall in step behind him. As soon as we breech the double doors, he begins to speak, "As you probably know, the paramedics just wanted to make sure that they didn't over look anything. We checked him out and everything seems to be fine internally. Now, we did have to put ten stitches in the wound oh his side and four stitches under his right eye. Other than that, he'll be just fine."

We stop in front of a door and the doctor turns to face me, "We are going to release Mr. Timberlake in a few hours. I'd like for him to get some rest before he heads out of here, is that alright?"

"Yes, that's fine."

"Okay then. Mr. Timberlake is right through that door. Tell him that I'll be back in about twenty or thirty minutes to check his vitals and then I'll be out of his hair until morning."

I nod and the doctor turns on his heels and makes his way down the hallway. I'm nervous. I don't know why, i'm just nervous. I let out a shaky breath and shake my hands out before I push against the heavy door and enter Justin's room. He looks up at me when he hears the door click shut but then he looks back at the tv and takes a drink of water. I walk over to one of the chairs, pull it closer to his bedside and take a seat. I look at the side of his face, hoping that he'll say something but he doesn't. He just sits there in the bed and stares at the screen mounted on the wall in front of us. Don't take it personal Ashlynn, he's upset and he's in pain, that's why he's acting like this.

"Um, your doctor said that he'll be by in twenty or thirty minutes to check up on you again." I say.

"Okay." He says simply, not breaking eye contact with the tv.

"How do you feel?" I ask.

"Okay."

"Do the stitches bother you at all?"

"Nope." His one word answers are doing wonders for my anxiety.

"Will you please give me a full sentence Justin. I'm worried about you."

He looks over at me and for a second, I don't recognize him. He's never looked at me like this before. He looks angry but not like before. This is a different kind of angry, "What do you want me to say Ashlynn? Tell me, what is it you want to know?" He's voice is thick with sarcasm and is dripping with venom.

"I just, I just want you to tell my how you are feeling, that's all." I say quietly, removing my eyes from his and placing them on my hands that are folded in my lap.

"Well, let's see. For the last couple of months i've been afraid for my life because my girlfriends ex is hunting us down, killing innocent animals and leaving them in my kitchen. Then to top things off, we have to drive four fucking hours to some damn lake house only to find out that the sick ass mother fucker not only knows that we left, but is already on his way. Oh no, it's not over yet, the grand finale is much better. You see, the fucker beats the shit out of me and then I watch my girlfriend kill him. To tell you the truth, I'm a little fucking upset. Is that what you wanted to hear Ashlynn?"

My eyes stay focused on my hands during his rant. By the time he's finished, they've welled up with tears. A sob escapes my throat and I jump out of my seat and run into the bathroom. I hastily slam the door and lock it before I fall to my knees and hover over the toilet. Within minutes, my vomit coats the white porcelin bowl. I clutch the bottom for dear life as I empty the contents of my stomach a second time. I some how find the strength to push myself off of the ground and wash out my mouth at the sink but before I know it, I'm back on the ground again with my back pushed up against the wall. It hadn't sunken in until just then; I've killed a man. I have taken someone's life. No more will he wake up in the morning and no more will his mother be able to hear his voice. Oh god and Justin. He saw me kill this man. How do you get past that? Whenever he looks at me from now on, is that what he is going to see? A murderer? When he looks at me, he'll just see Tony staring up at the ceiling as his last breath escapes his body. He'll see Tony's blood trickle out of the side of his mouth and begin to puddle on the floor next to his still body. I never wanted this happen. I never wanted to hurt so many people, I just wanted everyone to be safe. I didn't mean to hurt anybody, I didn't mean too.

A soft knock sounds at the door and then the sound of twisting the doornob follows, "Ashlynn, open the door." He says softly.

I don't move, "I heard you getting sick, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine." I whisper.

"Please just open the door okay? I wanna talk."

"I'm fine just go back to bed and get some rest."

I hear him sigh heavly but moments later, the bed springs squeek letting me know he went back into the room. I stand on my shaky legs and lean against the sink. I turn on the water, dip my hands under the steady stream and then bring the water to my face. I rub the cool water over my face and then take another sip to rid the taste of vomit. I dab a towel over my face and then open the door slowly only to discover Justin standing there again. He reaches out to pull me into a hug, but I side step him and walk over to the chair that held my only ten minutes before. Grabbing my purse, I turn around to face him, but my eyes never reach his, "I'm uh, going to go to the hotel. I'm not sure if you want me to come back tomorrow so just call me when you wake up."

I try to walk past him but he catches my arm. My lips start to tremble again and a tear slides down my cheek and falls to the floor, "Please let me go. Please Justin."

He ponders it for a moment, but releases my arm and I quickly exit his room. My sobs become uncontrollable as I walk down the long corridor and through the big double doors. I walk thorugh the waiting room and outside and begin to fumble through my purse for my phone. I dial 411, ask for a taxi service and within fifteen minutes, the yellow car is dropping me off at the hotel that the cops were kind enough to set us up in. I'm still crying as I pay him and as I check in. Once i'm in the room, I lock the door, kick off my shoes and head into the bathroom to throw up once again. When i'm done, I fall to the floor and bring my knees up under my chin and wrap my arms around my legs. Slowly, I rock back and forth, crying and mumbling to myself as Tony runs around in my head. Justin's words begin to make their reapparence then, only causing me to break into hysterics even more. I tighten the grip on my legs even more and try to will these bad feelings away.

______________________________

"Ashlynn... Ashlynn, wake up...Wake up baby."

I feel a gentle nudge and my eyes shoot open. I don't recognize the face a first so I frantically try to get away from the person. Two strong arms latch on to either side of my arms and hold me tight while his calming voice tries to comfort me, "It's okay baby, it's just me. It's Justin Ash."

I stop my violent movements to focus in on the person and let out a breath when I realize that it is Justin, "Have you been in here all night?"

"I... I don't know, I guess." I say.

Justin stands from his kneeling position and helps me to my feet. He practically carries me into the room because my legs are like jelly and he places me carfeully on the bed. He begins to remove my clothing, "I called you like ten times this morning but you didn't answer. I was starting to get worried. Lift up."

He pulls my jeans from my hips and then moves up to remove my shirt. He folds them neatly and places them in the chair next to the window and then disappears into the bathroom, only to return a few moments later with a damp wash cloth. He throws my dishelved hair over my shoulders and starts to dab my forehead and cheeks with the cloth. When he's finished, he throws the wash cloth on the dresser and pushes me back so I'm laying down. My eyes roam over his bruises and split lip and the tears rush back to the surface, "I'm sorry." I choke out.

Justin looks at me for a moment and then lets his gaze fall to the floor. He lets out a sigh, stands from the bed and walks over to windows to close the blinds, "Just get some sleep. I'll be in the other room if you need anything." And with that, he walked out.

I roll over onto my side and stare at the white wall. I'm glad Justin's here. When his bruises fade and I get my emotions back on track, we'll be okay again. We will be the happy couple we once were and we won't have a care in the world. Right now, Justin is just angry and upset and it'll all blow over right?

I have never been so wrong it me life.

How was I to know that this was the beginning of the end?

[Next]

Chapter 13-- Justin's POV

We've been back home for about a week but it hasn't been very pleasant. I have a constant attitude problem when it comes to Ashlynn and she is very emotionally unstable. My battle wounds haven't faded yet so every time I look in the mirror, I'm reminded of the shitty night. I remember Tony beating the fuck out of me, I remember Ashlynn coming in and I remember her killing him. That last part still makes me sick to my stomach. Ashlynn has murdered someone and I watched that someone take his last breath. Every time I close my eyes, I see him laying there, motionless, just staring up at the ceiling. Sometimes, I have to get up out of bed at night to throw up because my dreams are haunted with all of this shit. And Ashlynn, oh god, Ashlynn. Every time I see her I want to throw up. When she touches me, my skin crawls so I avoid all physical contact with her whenever possible. I know what you are saying, it's not her fault that Tony turned out to be a psyco, and that I should give her the benefit of the doubt. I know all of that but still, look at what has happened to me. I'm paranoid and jump at any loud noise, I can't sleep through the night anymore and I've lost weight from all of the throwing up I've been doing. I can't help but think that Ashlynn is the cause of this.

She's trying to be so strong through and I know I'm hurting her, I know I am. The other day I was in the kitchen making a sandwich and she came up behind me and hugged me. Just the feeling of her skin up against mine made me literally sick. I actually gagged when she was touching me. As you probably know, that didn't make her feel all that great and she spent the rest of the afternoon upstairs, crying. I don't know what to do and sure as hell don't know how to get over this. Trace suggested that maybe I should talk to somebody but I'm not gonna pay some dumb ass to listen to me talk for an hour just to have them tell something that I already know. That's bullshit.

I take a sip of my beer, set it back on the table and close my eyes when the breeze washes over my body. I hear the patio door open and then click shut and I sigh a little as I see her delicate form move one a chairs away from mine and then sit down, "Hey." She says softly.

"Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" I didn't mean to sound that harsh.

She lets out a sigh of her own and looks out across the pool, "Sorry I bothered you." She mumbles as she stands up out of the chair and walks back into the house.

You see what I mean? As soon as she says something to me, I just lash out at her and make her leave. She didn't even do anything to me just now but show her face. I stand up and follow her into the house and see her in the kitchen, pulling out pots and pans. I walk into the kitchen and stand opposite of her, "What are you making?" I ask.

"Spaghetti."

"Hmm. Look, I'm sorry about the way I spoke to you out there."

"You don't have to pretend to be sorry Justin. Just go back outside."

Her response suprises me, "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. You've been lashing out at me all week. If you were truly sorry about it, you wouldn't do it anymore."

She's right but I'm not going to admit that, "Ashlynn, don't start with me okay? I've got a headache and I'm not in the mood to fight with you."

"Whatever Justin."

"I try and apologize to you and this is how you treat me?" I ask.

"What about the way you treat me?! You've treated me like shit ever since we've been back and I haven't done a goddamn thing but love you." She says staring at me.

"Yeah, you haven't done anything but almost get me killed." Oh shit. I shouldn't of said that.

She nods her head and lets out a fake laugh, "So we are finally getting to it. You're still blaming me for all of this Tony stuff huh?"

"No, that's not what I meant-"

"Then why did you say it?"

"It slipped out Ashlynn."

"No it didn't. Things just don't 'slip out', Justin."

"I am so sick and tired of doing this with you." I say as I start to walk away.

"Why?"

"Because you're a fucking bitch that why! I don't know why you like to start shit with me Ashlynn." I walk into the living room but she's right on my heels.

"I start shit because we need to talk about this. We need to talk about what happened so we can get over it. It hasn't been easy for me either Justin." She says softly as she places her hand on my upper arm.

I jerk away from her and look at her like she's crazy, "Don't touch me." I practically growl.

I steps back and looks at me with wide eyes, "Why won't you let me touch you?" She asks softly.

"Because you make my skin crawl. It makes me sick knowing that a murderer in touching me."

Her eyes glaze over with her all too familiar tears and she turns from me and heads upstairs. I rub my hands over my face and jog up the steps and into the bedroom where she is throwing her clothes into a suitcase.

"Ashlynn-"

"Don't!" She sceams, "Do you think I wanted this happen?! Do you honestly think that I wanted you to witness something like that?! It is not my fault Justin! It is not my fault!"

She wipes her face harshly with her hands but doesn't stop packing, "Ashlynn just calm down okay?" I walk up behind her and place my arms around her waist. I try not to gag but... I do.

"Get the fuck off of me!" She screams as she slaps my hands away from her body, "You can't even touch me with out throwing up and you want me to believe that you don't blame me? You are sucha fucking bastard!"

I've never seen her so upset before but that doesn't phase me right at this moment, "You are a class act you know that Ashlynn? You are not the one that deserves to be angry. In fact, you are the last person to be calling me a fucking bastard."

"Oh? And why is that you selfish prick?"

"You know what? Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house!" I scream at her and going into the closet to collect some of her stuff.

Her voice softens but that doesn't stop me, "What Justin?"

"I said get the hell out! I will not take this bullshit from you." I throw some of her belonings on the bed and return into the closet.

"No, Justin-"

"I don't give a fuck Ashlynn! If you don't get out, I will put you out." I say throwing more of her stuff on the bed.

"I'm sorry Justin, okay? Justin please, I'm sorry baby."

She walks into the closet with me, falls to her knees and scootches over to me. She wraps her arms around my legs and presses her face into my jeans, "I'm sorry Justin! I love you baby okay? I'll be good from now on and I won't bother you baby."

"Get off of me Ashlynn."

"No Justin please."

"Get off of me!" I move forward causing my knee to slam into the middle of her face.

She lets go of me and her hands fly to her face, covering her nose. She moves her hand away from her face and my eyes widen as I see blood smeared on her fingers and palm. She looks up at me in disbelief as blood gushes from her nose and thenjumps up from her place on the floor and runs into the bathroom. Guilt and fear now runs through my veins as I follow her. As soon as she see's me, she tries to shut the door but I stop it with my hands.

"Ashlynn don't. Just let me see"

I force the door back open and my stomach twists with even more guilt as I look at her. Her face is a mixture of blood and tears, and neither of those things have stopped flowing. I reach out to her but she viotently hits my hand away and starts swatting at me to get me out of the bathroom, "Ouch, Ashlynn stop!"

I grab one of her petite hands but the other slips away from my grasp and plants itself on the side of my cheek forcefully. I let go of her to hold my cheek and she pushes me roughly, causing me to stumble backwards and out of the bathroom. She slams the door and locks it, I can still hear her crying. Oh god, what have I done? She's bleeding because of me. I knock on the door, "Ashlynn please let me help you."

There is no response but her crying increases, "Please baby? Please?"

My own tears have started to well in my eyes and before I know it, they are falling freely down my face. I loud sob escapes my throat and I fall to the floor, wailing just as hard as she is, "I didn't mean to hurt you baby. I didn't mean too, I swear Ash. I would never hurt you baby."

Still, there is no response. I pick myself up off of the floor and carry my heavy body into the guestroom. I fall on the bed and just let all of the pain engulf my body. The pain from Tony, the pain I've caused in Ashlynn and the pain of hurting her. I hug a pillow to my body and cry loudly into it. How is she going to trust me now? Where is this going to put us? What does this make me; a woman beater? An abuser? Hurried footsteps break of my of my thoughts and I take off out of the room after the noise. I catch a glimpse of Ashlynn as she flees out the back door. I run after her and make it outside just as I see her backing out of the driveway in her Mercedez. I call out to her as she screetches off down the street and don't stop watching until she rounds the corner and is out of my sight. More tears slip down my cheek as I walk back into the house and fall into the couch.

Marty comes around from the laundry room and looks at me with big brown eyes as if he's saying, 'you've fucked up buddy', "I know I have Marty, I know I have." I say collecting him up in my arms and petting him softly.

Only one question plagues me now.

Is this the end of us?

[Next]

Chapter 14

I know the truth now; about how Justin really feels. God, I didn’t know that it was possible to even hurt this much. Murderer, that’s who and what I am now to him, there’s no going back, there’s no getting past it. Murderer. I remove the paper towel from my nose and exit my car. I take a seat on the hood, bring my knees up under my chin and look out at the beautiful city of Los Angeles that is below me. This is my favorite spot, hands down, in the entire state. I can literally see every building that inhabits LA and it comforts me a little, not as much as it used to, but it does. What do I do now? Where do I go? The man that I love hates me, not that I blame him but today was a turning point. These last few weeks have been tough because he was acting so strange but I kept telling myself that it would get better. His wounds would heal and he would love me again and we’d forget about everything that happened and be happy. Well, I’ve never been all that great at predicting the future and I was sure as hell wrong about this one too. I make his skin crawl, that’s what he said. Have you ever been told by anyone that you make their skin crawl? Rather, have you ever been told by someone you love that you make their skin crawl? No, you haven’t, because you all are not murderers. You’ve never taken a human life before. Oh and I believe that I make him physically sick to his stomach because he actually gagged one time when I touched him. You know, I don’t believe that I’ve ever felt this way before. Tony never used to make me feel this… dirty and disgusting. But maybe I’m confusing my emotions, maybe I don’t feel dirty and disgusting, I think I feel guilt; or guilty. Guilty for making Justin feel those things because those are things that humans shouldn’t feel and the only reason he feels them, is because of me.

My ringing phone breaks me from my thoughts and I take it out of my pocket to see who’s calling me. Olivia. Great, Justin probably called her and told her and now they are going to be searching the city for me. I don’t want to be found. I don’t want to be found by Justin in the broken state and then have him piece me back together. I don’t want to be in a relationship that’s not true and genuine. I don’t want him to hate me. My phone then vibrates, letting me know that there is a voice message. It vibrates again and again and again, slowing driving me to my breaking point. In one swift move, I grab my cell from its place on the hood and throw it over the ledge that I am looking over. I don’t hear it hit the ground but something else enters my mind.

I slide off of the hood of the car and walk slowly to the ledge, not stopping until my toes are hanging over the edge. One wrong move and I could end up like my cell phone, scattered in little pieces across the ground that is hundreds of feet below me. That would take the pain away though, wouldn’t it? I wouldn’t have to feel like a murderer anymore. I spread my arms out on either side of me and close my eyes, letting the soft breeze blow over my entire body. I kind of wish it were a little more forceful, then it could just blow me right over the edge. Goodness, I almost want to do this; I almost want to jump. But because I’m such a coward, I don’t. I back away from the ledge and take my seat back on my hood, letting out a deep sigh. My soul hurts and I really don’t know what to do about it anymore. This hurt was pre-Justin but before, it was more of an ache, not full blown hurt. I guess Justin just helped me mend it for a while but it was bound to come up again, kinda like heartburn.

I just realized something. I'm just a shell of the girl I used to be. My soul has long since died and I just find myself wondering through life. I had dreams; big ones. I wanted to open my own advertising business; I wanted to be on the fortune 500 by the time I was 30. Needless to say, nothing that I wanted to do with this life has happened. I mean, sure, I have a great, stable job, a nice car and a house of my own but something is missing. I know I have the smarts and the will to start my own business but... I'm scared. What if I fail? What if I quit my great, stable job and end up loosing my nice car and my house? I don't know what I'd do at that point. You see? This is what I'm talking about. When I was younger, I wouldn't even be thinking about any of this, I would have gone right ahead and opened my business. If I had failed, I would have figured something out and made it work. But, that was all pre-Tony. He just ruined me in more ways than one. His physical abuse scarred me but the mental and emotional scars go way deeper than that. You know, even after all of these years, I still hear Tony's harsh words and to this day, those words still dictate my actions.

Another sigh escapes my lips as the sunset begins to disappear behind the skyscrapers. What a beautifully this has turned out to be, huh? What I wouldn’t give to just switch lives with one of the millions of people that roam around California; just for a day. I wouldn’t be thought of as a murderer, I wouldn’t be making people physically sick, I wouldn’t be making Justin unhappy. I wouldn’t be…. I wouldn’t be me, and that’s the most alluring thing about it. I wouldn’t have to be me.

A few tears slip down my cheeks and I hiss when they come in contact with my very sensitive nose. A cut has appeared on my left cheek and practically my entire face is bruised. I got it to stop bleeding though, which I guess is a good thing. I softly rid the wetness from my face and climb back into the drivers’ seat. I take a look back out on the city and then throw the car into reverse and make my way back toward the city, in search of a hotel. A few minutes later, I pull into a Hilton, check in and then collapse on the bed once I’m inside the room. I don’t believe it, after this long and emotionally taxing day, I’m actually going to fall asleep. I mean, this kind of drama is usually followed by a long night of just staring at the blank wall.

I find enough strength to pull off my bloody clothing and climb under the sheets. It doesn’t take long before my eye lids become heavy and one word keeps repeating itself as I drift off into never land.

Murderer.

______________________________

My eyes open slowly as the morning light bleeds through the shades over the windows. I groan inwardly and glance at the clock, 8:53am. I rub my eyes but hiss when pain rips through my body, I am not the sharpest person in the morning. The sleep did me a world of good though and my head is clear. I know what I have to do now.

I stumble into the bathroom, shower, and then throw on a robe. I throw my bloody shirt into the sink and let it fill with cold water and then throw some soap into the mix to try and clean it up. I hair back up into a pony tail and sit at the little desk in the corner of the room. I get out a few pieces of paper, a pen, and two envelopes. I address the two envelopes to their soon to be owners and then set them off to the side. I stare at the blank paper for a while but soon, I’ve filled three pages worth of words. I sign the paper, fold them nicely and then place them into one of the two envelopes. About twenty minutes later, I’m sliding my second letter into its rightful place and place the cap back onto the pen. This is what I have to do, not only for me but for Justin and Olivia. They would be better off with out my anyway so yeah, I gotta do this.

A few hours later, after my shirt has dried, I collect the two letters and then check out of the hotel. I drive back to my neighborhood and park in front of Justin’s place after delivery Olivia’s letter to her mailbox. His garage is wide open, a horrible habit that I tried to break him of but to no avail. His car is gone, so I cut off the engine and make my way slowly to the front door. I walk inside and listen for a while to see if Marty comes running up but he doesn’t. I call out to Justin but again, I get nothing. With the last letter still in hand, I walk up the stairs and into the bedroom. I stop as memories start to fill my head.

Flashback

I tip-toe through the room with my hand over my mouth, trying to suppress my laughter. When I reach the dresser, I stand on my toes and feel around on the top for the Polaroid camera. I find it quickly and walk quietly over the side of the bed and whisper the count down.

"Three...two...one."

I yank back the covers, exposing him and snap the picture as he woke up. Erupting into fits of laughter, I run out of the room and start to make my way down the steps. I hear his heavy footsteps behind me and squeal when his hand grazes across my back, missing mw by only a hair.

"I'm going to get you!" he calls after her.

I ran through the kitchen and was almost through the living room when his hands wrap around my waist and pull me down to the floor. He climbs on top of me and starts to tickle me, making me laugh so hard, I start to cry. He stops after a little while and lays on me, putting his head on my chest. He takes a few stands of me hair in between his fingers and starts to play with it while I calm myself. I hug him to me and trace lazy circles on his back.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too baby.”

End of Flashback

I walk further into the room and into the closet to get a new set of clothes. A few moments later, I step into the bathroom in a sweatshirt and jeans and begin to cover the bruises with some make up. Another memory begins to cloud my brain and soon, I find myself crying again.

Flashback

“Okay, okay, okay. If you found a million, trillion dollars on the side of the road one day, would you give it all up to be with me?” I ask him as we settle into the bath tub together.

“Why would I have to give it up? I couldn’t have you and the money?” He asks taking a sip of his wine and setting the glass back on the edge of the tub.

“No. You have to choose, me or the money.”

“Hmm…”

He takes another sip of wine and lays his head back onto the edge. I stare at his beautiful body and rub my newly peticured feet on his torso. He suddenly grabs my foot, and brings it up to his lips, leaving sweet and soft kisses and each of my toes. He sucks lightly on a few of them and then drops my foot harshly into the water, “I would take the money.”

He erupts into laughter as my face drops and a loud scoff escapes my throat, “You are such an ass.” I say as I try not to laugh with him.

He pulls me through the water and hugs me to his chest, “You know I’m kidding girl. Of course I would choose you. A million, trillion dollars couldn’t not make me as happy as you do.”

“Whatever, you know you would take the money.” I cross my arms tightly over my chest, trying my best to sound hurt.

He kisses the side of my face, “No I wouldn’t. I would much rather be a poor person and have you, then be rich and have to live my life without you.”

End of flashback

If only he felt the same way now. I finish my makeup as best I can, and then make my way back downstairs and into the kitchen. I grab a picture of Justin, Marty and I off of the refrigerator and put it into my back pocket. I kiss the envelope addressed to Justin and set it on the counter top. I take a few last glances at the house that I used to call home and then walk back out to my car, closing the garage door before I jump back into my ride. Tears well up into my eyes again as I say goodbye to the man and the life I could have had with him. I get out my car and jog across the street to my old house and pluck a rose off of one of the bushes. I run back across the street and lay it gently on the chair the sits next to his front door. Just like the cliché movies, a third and final memory is pulled from my mental rolodex and is presented to me at the front door.

Flashback

He places a kiss on my cheek as we relax together on the front lawn, watching the sunset, “What are you thinking about up there?” he asks quietly.

I sigh, “Oh nothing, just about how happy I feel right now.” A smile spreads across his face and my hand instantly reaches out to rub the stubble on his cheeks, “And how beautiful you are.”

“You are such a sap.” He laughs as he pushes me gently.

I giggle and fall into him as Mrs. Buchanan walks by with her dogs, “Hi Mrs. Buchanan.” I wave.

She gives me a short smile but keeps on walking. As soon as she’s out of earshot, Justin begins to laugh, “She really doesn’t like you at all.”

“I don’t know why, I never did anything to that old hag,” I laugh.

“Yes you did, you stole me away from her. You know, before we got together, she actually came over here one night butt naked.”

My mouth drops open, “Nu-uh!”

“If I’m lyin’ I’m flyin’.”

“What did you do?”

“I told her to take her naked ass back home to her kids. I told her that she was old enough to be my momma and I was for damn sure not gonna have sex her.”

I laugh, “Awe, you broke her little heart Jay-jay.”

“Oh shut up. If I hadn’t I would be here with you right now would I skank?”

“Whateva dick face.”

“Slut bag.”

“Concubine.”

His face distorts into confusion, “What the fuck is a concubine?”

End of Flashback

I kiss the tips of my fingers and place them softly on the door. I walk back to my car, start the engine and then look back at the house. I take off down the street and let out all my tears as I exit the development.

“Goodbye Justin.”

[Next]

Chapter 15 -- Justin's P.O.V.

I'm scared to go home, there is just too much... emotion there. Shortly after Ashlynn took off yesterday, I left and went over to Trace and Elisha's. I hit her; not on purpose but it's still concidered a hit right? God, I shouldn't have gotten so angry at her, i should have been more sensitive toward her and her feelings. She had to kil him or he would've killed her and/or me. She saved my life and all I can do is gag when she touches me and call her a murderer, great huh? So this is me now, crashing over at my bestfriends house, alone, instead of being in my own damn room making love to my beautiful yet damaged girlfriend. I am an asshole.

I roll over and look out the window. A breeze moves across the branches and leaves of the trees, causing them to sway softly and the sky is dark; it looks like rain. Perfect day for my perfect life, ha. I can't stop thinking about her though, I wonder if she's okay. She probably went over to Olivia's, yeah, that's probably where she is. I don't think she would know where else to go and Olivia will take care of her. She's a good friend to Ashlynn.

But now everything is so weird. I mean, we can't just go back to normal and forget that all of this shit happened but it'll be to weird to just sit and talk about it candidly. We both have a lot of shit to get off of our chests and I think right now, we would just end up either further apart than we already are or it'll bring us back together. But I can't help but think that it'll tear us apart. If you haven't noticed, I'm not to good at thinking through things before they come out of my mouth so I'd probably say something to hurt her feelings again. Ugh, I can't sit around and think about this anymore, it's just going to make me even more depressed.

I throw the covers off of my body and swing my feet over the side of the bed and place them on the floor. I stand and stretch for a minute and then make my way into the bathroom and start the shower. About twenty minutes later, i slip into my white beater and start to make my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I can hear Trace and Elisha's hushed whispers coming from the kitchen and I only stop when I hear my name.

"Maybe you should talk to Justin about this and see what is really on his mind?" Elisha says.

"I can't do that Lish, you know that. Justin is a very private person, he likes to keep that kind of stuff to himself."

"Trace, he can't keep this to himself. He already hit Ashlynn and -"

"Don't. He did not hit her, it was an accident." Trace says sternly.

"Okay, whatever, but the point is, he's not been himself these last few weeks and you can't deny that. He's been angry and down right mean to Ashlynn and she doesn't deserve that babe. It wasn't her fault that this guy was a maniac and to save her life and Justin's, she had to kill him. She had too."

It's silent for a minute, "I know. I know but that's weird, I can't just go up to him and be like, yo, I know you saw your girlfriend murder her ex-boyfriend but you should get over it and just forgive her."

"It doesn't matter what you think is weird. Their relationship is at its breaking point. They love each other entirely to much and to have it end this way is terrible. We have to do something."

"Elisha, it's not our place to-"

"It's okay guys, you don't have to argue." I say stepping in full view and leaning against the island.

Elisha looks down at her fingers and then back at me, "I'm sorry. We didn't mean to get so loud, but we're worried about you two."

I shake my head slowly and look down at my feet, "Yeah, I know."

It gets silent again in the kitchen and then Elisha softly asks, "Do you know where she is?"

"She's probably at Olivia's place. But, I don't know for sure."

"She hasn't tried to call yet or anything?" Trace asks.

I shake my head no again and let out a sigh. This is going to be one long ass day.

______________________________

I was right when I said it looked like it was going to rain. As I sit in my friends living room, aimlessly flipping through the channels, rain is pelting down on the earth. It's hard, harsh rain, not like the soft, quiet summer rain that California usually has. I've waisted have of the day in front of the tv and I know I should be trying to find out where Ash is but i'm too scared. I don't know what's on the other side of Trace's front door and I'm not ready to brave through it yet, maybe after Reno 911! is over, maybe then I won't be a coward.

I hear heavy footsteps from the steps and Trace soon appears at my side. He plops down on the love-seat, next to the couch and stares at the tv, "I think we should go see if Ash went back home."

"What?"

"I said I think we should go to your place to see if she's there. You guys need to talk about this."

I sigh and shift my position, "I don't want to see her right now dude. It's just too..."

"Justin, don't do this. You always do this." He lets out an angry sigh and turns his head to look out the window.

"What are you talking about?" I take defense.

"Every time I see you get involved with these women, at some point in time during the relationship you just give up and let them walk out of your life. You've had some pretty decent women that were willing to take care of your dumb ass but you just let them go without another thought going through your thick head. What are you so afraid of?"

I'm taken aback by his little rant. I never thought that Trace thought so indepth about my relationships. Usually, he puts on this macho, i-don't-give-a-fuck attitude and refers to women as bitches and hoes, this new attitude has thrown me for a loop. I'm... flabergasted, "What do you mean, what am I afraid of Trace? Where is all of this coming from?"

"I'm your friend and your too good of a guy to be single anymore. Hell, If I can find a girl, you sure as hell can find a good one and you have one. You just have to put all that macho shit behind you, go apologize and make her feel better. She needs you to love her right now and not judge her or bring back any memories or any of that shit. She just needs you. So get off your ass, and go home to her. We'll watch Marty."

So here I sit, in front of my house. I turn the car off and just sit there, staring at the front door. I let out a heavy breath and then open the door and step out of the car. I make my way slowly to the front door and pause when my hand hits the door handle. Even though I don't see her car, for some reason I can feel that she's in there or at least she came back for a while. It's weird, I can kind of smell her perfume. I step through the threshold of the door and step into my living room. Nothing. There's just silence in the air. I call out her name but get nothing in response, damn it, I should have come over earlier. I walk into the kitchen with high hopes, thinking that maybe she was there and just didn't hear me but find another empty room. Just as I'm about to turn, I notice that the picture of Ash, Marty and I is gone from the refridgerator. She was here. I start to walk over to the fridge when I notice the envelope sitting on the counter. I pick it up and instantly recognize the handwriting of my girlfriend. I tear open the letter and the words begin to fill me head.

Dear Justin,

By the time you get this, I'm not sure where I will be. I'm writing this letter to you because I have a lot to say but I'm not strong enough to look you in the face and tell you, I'm too much of a coward. First off, I'd like to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for mixing you up in my past and getting you hurt and for making you love me. I'm damaged goods and I should have kept my distance from you but I let myself slip, I should have been more careful. I'm sorry for everything that involved Tony and I'm sorry that you had to see me take his life but he would have hurt you and I couldn't let that happen. I love you too much. I bet you didn't think you'd end up with this huh? God, I didn't think it would end up like this either but there is nothing that we can do about it now. All we can do is move on and I know that for you to be able to do that, I can't be in your life.

So I guess that brings us to the real reason I'm writing this letter. I won't be coming back Jay but please don't think it has to do with anything that you did. You have no idea what you did to me, you've changed me in so many good ways that I can't even begin to describe them. But, there has always been something in me since I left Tony that hasn't gone away. I'm not sure what it is but if I stay, I'll never get rid of it. Justin, I haven't been a healthy person in such a long time and with you, I caught a glimpse of the old me. I want to be that person again but I have to do a lot of soul serching before I believe I can be that girl again. And, I know that you don't even see me the same anymore and your feelings have changed towards me so, I think this is the best for both of us. We'll both get some time to breathe and re-evaluate ourselves.

I just want you to know that I love you and i've always loved you, that will never change but I want you to be free. To be free of me and all of this shit and just live your life. Get with a pretty little blonde girl that has never had to think of anything worse than breaking a nail. Someone who can give you all of themselves and not get you mixed up in any crazyness. You deserve that, you deserve the best and that's not me right now. I'm not going to pack anything so you can do whatever you want with them, I really don't care. Give Marty a kiss for me okay? And promise me you won't wait for me, you don't deserve to wait. Just move on Justin and don't think twice about it.

I didn't mean for this to be son long, i've nearly taken up three pages. Just... if you never want to see me again, that's fine, I'm not going to bother you. And if you find it in your heart to forgive me; I accept. Have a nive life Justin and take care of Olivia for me.

Always Yours, Ashlynn

I read it again and again and again. I don't even notice the tears running down my cheeks as I stumble into the living room and pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"T-Trace?"

"Justin? Justin, what's wrong? What's the matter dude?"

"S-She's... she's..."

"What is it Justin?"

"She's gone, Trace. She-She left me."

He's silent, "What do you mean?" He asks quietly.

I drop the phone from my shaking hand and return my attention to her note. She's gone. I can't believe it; she's... gone.

That Ashlynn is very easy on the eye. She’s probably somewhere around 5’5 with these big brown abysses that some people like to call eyes. She’s slim but has some meat on her bones, just the way I like it. Her black tank showed off her small love handles and I had to damn near tear my eyes away from her legs. She has long, thick, jet-black hair that stops just below her perky, perfectly rounded breasts. Her sun-kissed skin reminds of the color mahogany and the sunlight only enhanced her radiant features. To sum her up in one word would be impossible but if I had to, the word would be pulchritudinous, and I don’t even know what kind of personality she has.