Lance's POV

I watch as he opens his blue eyes and I feel my breath catch in my throat. Of course, this is nothing new. Every time he looks at me, I can't help but smile. I watch as he runs a hand through his hair, his fingers getting caught in his curls. I ache to run my own fingers through his har but I know that will never happen. So I force myself to smile, even though on the inside I feel like crying. Another day to get through and I pray that I make it without revealing my feelings for him.

I know that Justin could never return the feelings I have for him. I know that and it's okay. So I'll just settle for being friends with him when deep inside I always wish for so much more. I can't tell Justin how I feel about him. Not only would it ruin NSYNC but I'm pretty sure that it would ruin our friendship. So I force myself to act normally when all I want to do is take him in my arms and confess my love for him.

I watch as he gets up out of bed in the room we share, sighing softly as he wakes up. A few moments later both of us are dressed and are heading for practice. When we get there I watch as Justin practices the dance for "Bye Bye Bye" and all I want to do is blurt out my feelings. But I can't do that to him and I won't. I know that he's straight and though I respect that I still can't help but wish for what could have been.

So I force myself to look elsewhere, trying to ignore the feelings of jealously that stir within me, when I catch Wade touching Justin as they re-do the moves that he messed up. After a few moments though, I get up unable to stay in the practice room for much longer. I make a motion to JC that I'm getting a soda, to which he nods and so I exit the room. I lean against the wall sighing softly to myself, trying to ignore how jealous I feel.

I try to shake it off, even though deep down inside I know that it's no use. I've wanted and loved Justin for the last three years. Sure, I've always loved him like a brother, just like the other guys but within the last two and a half years I've been feeling more for him. I've been in love with him and I know that the other guys know it, except for Justin, that is.

Chris and Joey have teased me constantly about my feelings for Justin, ever since they found out about them. All the guys know that I'm gay. I told them from the very beginning so that we all knew where we stood. None of them had a problem finding out I'm gay. In fact, to my embarrassment Joey and Chris have tried to hook me up with many guys.  Needless to say none of the relationships ever worked out.

None of the other men could ever compare to Justin. I slip fifty cents into the soda machine, and  then press the button for Dr. Pepper. As I bend down to grab my soda, I hear the door to the practice room open and am surprised when I look up to see Justin standing before me. I quckly straighten up and smile at him as I open my soda. "Hey Curly," I say and take a quick sip of soda.

Justin just stands there watching me and as I swallow my soda, I ask if he wants a soda as well. When Justin nods, I ask what he wants and he tells me a Pepsi. So I push another two quarters into the machine and then hand Justin his Pepsi after retrieving it from the slot of the machine. When a few minutes of silence have passed between us I say, "So how are things going between you and Britney?"

Justin sighs softly and then says, "We broke up a month ago." It takes me a few seconds to form a reply and when I do manage to say, "Sorry Jus. I know you really cared about her." Justin just shrugs and then says, "It's actually better this way.  Now I can concentrate more on the music instead of always having to worry about shit getting stirred up." I merely nod and take another sip of my soda.

Before I can swallow it, Justin asks, "How about you? Dated any hot guys lately? I mean, 'cause you're hot and any guy would have to be stupid not to want you." I spit out my soda in shock at his words. It's not that Justin's never asked me if I have been dating anyone since I came out to him and the guys but I'm surprised at hearing him say the latter. After Justin thumps me on the back for a few minutes, I finally ask, "Huh?"

Justin laughs and then says, "Please Lance, don't play stupid. You're hot. Shit, I'd fuck you." I feel my mouth drop open at his words. When I finally close my mouth a few moments later, Justin takes a step toward me. I try to say something but before I can, his lips are on mine and I almost melt into the kiss. Justin breaks the kiss and I can only stand there totally surprised and shocked beyond belief.

After a few moments Justin says, "I care too much about you, though. We could never be more than friends. I'm sorry but I don't want to risk screwing up our friendship." After saying that, Justin smiles at me and then heads back into the practice room, leaving me standing there, hurt and confused. However, after a few minutes I follow Justin back inside the practice room but feel jealousy creep up on me yet again as I watch Wade touching Justin.

I know they're only friends and I know that Wade is straight but I can't help what I'm feeling. When Wade puts his hand on Justin's back, trying to show him the move that he messed up, I want tp punch his lights out. I know that I should be used to feeling like this all the time but I'm not. It hurt, wanting what I can't have and what I want is Justin but I'll never get it. So I'll bury my feelings and hope and pray that they don't mess up our friendship in the long run because I'd never be able to handle that.

The end.