My life is composed of one secret after another. I have the unfortunate luck of being an obsession for one Justin Timberlake. It all started the summer of my senior year in high school. My dance team won a competition to choreograph Justin’s video for My Love. Justin loved my work so much that he invited me out to his tour over the summer. That is when all this craziness started.

“ So how long until you admit that you want me?” Justin asked. I gave him an annoyed look.

“ Never, you are not my type”  I said pretty loudly. We had been playing this game for weeks and I was getting bored.

“ Come on Mac, we are two consenting adults that can do whatever we’d like” He whispers in my ear. I quickly smack his head away and give him an angry look.

“ Only thing I’d like to do right now is bash your head in and chop off your balls. You wanna consent to that?” I replied. He gave me his cheekiest grin and said.

“ You can eat my balls but you can’t chop them off” I made a gagging noise and pretended to throw up.

“ Were you born a douche bag or did you grow up like this?” I scoffed.

“ A little bit of both actually” He said with a small smirk on his face.  He is still sitting next to me with his hand in mine. Yeah we are holding hands. I guess I am the one sending mix signals. We make out a lot and there is even some wandering hands but I don’t let it get any further.  I know I am probably a huge tease but I am 18 years old. I don’t wanna hang out with some dude 8 years older than men constantly wanting to know what I am doing. Lately he has been telling me how much he wants to have sex with me, I laugh in his face.

“So since we are doing that show in Connecticut can I get some extra tickets. My friends really wanna see me perform” I say as I give his hand a squeeze.

“ I’ll give you extra tickets if you give me some dome” He bargained. I took a moment to make it look like I was considering it.

“ I don’t know if the STD is worth it” I pondered. He began to laugh out loud. Now this is where I get into trouble. I am kind of attracted to Justin the douche bag. The one thing people always ask me when they find out that I know him is whether or not he is a nice guy. I always lie and say that he is but the truth is the man is a douche. He can be crass, annoying, juvenile, whinny and a giant pervert. But he is so much fun to be around. His smile can light up a room. And his laugh is so infectious it could start a pandemic.  He is a great friend. But he is also a giant tosser. But you take the good with the bad right?

“ I know I have been annoying you with this stuff but I think you are a sexy, confident, hilarious woman and I just wanna get to know you better” He says trying to look earnest. This is probably where thousands of girls get trapped. Not me, I will not walk into the lion’s den.

Luckily for me Trace came strolling into the room. Trace is good peoples. He is hilarious and he gives Justin plenty of crap ,which makes him a winner in my book.

“ Hey Queenie, what is going on? “ Trace asks me. I give him a giant toothy grin and chuckle a little.

“ Nothing Biggie, I’m just shooting down your boy for the millionth time” I said as I got up to hug him.

“ He still hasn’t gotten the message.  Man he must be dumb!” Trace shouts. I laugh out loud and Justin looks slightly annoyed.

“ I’m right here” he huffs. Trace and I ignore him and continue our conversation.

“ I got us tickets to that soccer game you wanted to see” I squealed in delight. I am a huge soccer fan and I get to see my two favorite international teams play on American soil.

“ Don’t say its Italy vs. USA cause then we’d have to make out and I was really enjoying our friendship” I yell.

“Yup the one and only, the game is next week on your day off. I got three ticket so that me you and Justin could go” He tells me. Justin looks slightly happy as if going to a soccer game is gonna make me want to sleep with him. (It is a possibility) Trace has got a smug look on his face because he loves to make me happy. And I could care less right now because I could possibly see Fabio Cannavaro in the flesh and that is enough to make me forget the clowns I am currently sitting with.

I am a huge sports fan. That is one of the things Justin really likes about me. He is always telling me how much he likes an athletic girl.  He said  he wants someone who he could watch sports with and just chill in the house. I told him that I am not a reporter from Tiger Beat. He doesn’t have to feed me lines.

“ Wait, if Justin is there someone will take pictures of us” I say slightly paranoid. I am terrified of the pap. They caught Justin and I coming out of a club in LA together once and they practically blinded me. They were screaming at Justin asking what my name was. Of course Justin was to drunk to notice. Ever since then I am weary to be seen in public with Justin. He claims I am embarrassed of him. I am.

“ Unless you two are going to be making out instead of watching the game, I think you will be fine” Trace the voice of reason said.

“ I am clearly going to be watching the game and when Fabio Cannavaro comes by I might actually take of my shirt” I giggle. Justin and Trace look at each other and then start giving each other dap.

“ This is going to be a good soccer game” Justin says with that stupid smirk.

“I’m gonna call Loren and tell her she is gonna be mad jealous” I say as I rush out of the room.

Its moments like these that I don’t mind being the object of Justin’s interest. It has so many perks. 

            Lately Justin has been getting even more annoying. We have been making out more frequently ( like every night after the show).  Everyone on tour knows that I have some status with Justin. So whenever he is in a bitchy mood like today I was the one that had to talk to him. We were doing a dry run through the songs and Justin was in a foul mood cursing and yelling at everyone.

            “ If you people don’t get yourselves together, you are all gonna get fired!” Justin screams. He has been at it all day and frankly I have had enough. I grab his arm and drag him into the trap door near the bottom of the stage.

            “What the heck is your problem? These people work their behinds off to make you look good and you’re yelling at them” I whisper harshly to him. The trap door is like a closet and I am pretty sure every else is listening to our  “lovers quarrel”.

            “ Nothing is wrong with me. I just want this concert to be perfect. I just want to be able to have a good show tonight” He says not looking directly into my eyes. If there is one thing I have learned about Justin it is that he wears his heart on his sleeve so it is easy to know whether he is lying or not.

            “ Now that you have fed me a line tell me what is really bothering you” I said.  He just continued to look at his feet and then he looked up at me with those eyes. His eyes were a pale blue color today and he looked like someone had just killed his puppy. I know for a fact that his crazy dogs are still alive so I have no clue what he is sad about. Before I have time to process what is going on with him, he grabs my face and kisses me. The kiss is harsh and reassuring. But he soon slows down and takes his time to explore my mouth with his tongue. He licks my lips and moves toward my neck. I moan a little because Justin has a way of making me feel so good.  He begins to suck on my neck a little and I can’t help but think that I am gonna have a hickey when I get out of this place. All of a sudden he stops.  I give him a pissed of look because I now I am turned on and now he wants to talk.

            “ Can I have all of you?” He asks in a small whisper. I barely hear him over my heavy breathing and then I realize I am the reason Justin has been so pissy. I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t want to give him all of me.

            “ Not just your body, I want all of your attention” He says a little louder. He moves his hands to my waist and grips me tightly.  He knees down and kisses my tummy. He has got his head against my abs and showering it with kisses.

            “ I know you don’t wanna have sex with me but you have nothing to be afraid of. If you want to be just friends with benefits that is fine. I just want you to myself” He says.  He stands up an lifts my shirt over my head. He takes off my bra and takes my breast into his mouth. I give another moan as his tongue swirls against my nipple. I run my hands through his non existent hair and he holds me tighter. I pull at his belt buckle and undo the belt.

            “ Fine, but I am not your girlfriend we just have sex with each other and no one else. If you have sex with someone else I am gone. I don’t fancy getting an STD from some groupie” I say sternly. He chuckles and gives me a nefarious look.

            “ Well stop talking and get to work” And we do.

            It has been 3 weeks since the trap door incident and things between Justin and I have been going well. We are back in LA for a while before we go on the international leg of FutureSex/ Loveshow. LA is a crazy place but it is mostly annoying. Justin and I have been photographed all over the country, going to clubs after shows, eating lunch at restaurants,  and playing golf. All that has given the press the crazy idea that we are a couple.  But now that we are in LA together they assume that the rumors are true. Justin hasn’t tried to clear up the rumor and I think he is enjoying it.

            I walking outside of the dance studio where I walked in on a ballet class to Justin’s car He is sitting in it with his sunglasses on. There is a crowd of pap taking his pic. I suddenly wish I told Trace to pick me up because he warrants less pap. I put on my shades and walk over to the car. One pap spots me and shouts “ the girlfriend” I pick up my step and gingerly get into his car. He is laughing like the ass that he is.

            “ What ?” I say as he is trying to pull out of the parking lot.

            “ You look like a sexy ballerina” He says. I laugh and give a cheeky grin to one of the pap’s cameras. And look right into the guys lens and say

            “ And I am as flexible as a rubber band”

            After my little stunt at the dance studio according to Justin his publicist phone was ringing off the hook about me. The pap wanted to know who I was and Justin was begging me to let her release at least my name.

            “ No way. I am not letting a bunch of balding old white guys butcher my name” I say. Trace interjects

            “ We could give them  a little tutorial A-MAK-A” Trace laughs. I give him a stern look he is suppose to be on my side.

            “ I am not even your girlfriend. Why would you let them know about me?” I reason.  Trace gives me a funny look and replies

            “ You go out to dinner together, you have met his mother, you are staying in his house, who did you think you are to him”. I realize that Trace is right. I have unknowingly became the girlfriend of Justin Timberlake.  Shoot me now.

            “ I need to get drunk” I say exasperated. Justin gives me a weird look.

            “ You are only 18” He says. I hope he is joking.

            “ And what 18 year olds don’t get drunk. Is that a joke?” I say. I storm into the kitchen to see what alcohol he has stashed. I open the fridge and all I see is Corona, white mans beer.

            “ Don’t you have any hard liquor, or a Heineken? “ I question. He has to what grown man doesn’t want to get plastered every once in a while.

            “ I didn’t plan on getting wasted so there isn’t any” he replies shutting the fridge. But that is okay because I kind of want to dance so a club would be the best place right now.

            “ Fine. I am going to get changed and we are going to the hottest club in LA that will let in an 18 year old” I shout triumphantly. Justin and Trace give each other worried looks. They should be worried. I am going to get bombed.

            Justin, Trace and I get a driver to drive us over to Villa, Justin’s favorite club. He has told me about it a lot and says it’s a cool place. I am pumped.

            “ So here is the plan. I called the owner he says its cool for you to come in and get trashed, but you cannot look trashed when you leave” Justin instructs me.  I down a shot of Grey Goose and order another.

            “ Yeah I get it. But I plan leaving here on a stretcher so I don’t think the owner has anything to worry about” I give him my best smile. Do another shot and start dancing. It is gonna be a good night.

            It is 3 am and I am so gone that I could care less. I have my hand down Justin’s pants and the other hand in his hair. I am kissing him like a crazy person and pressing my body against his. His hand is up my dress and the other hand squeezing my bum. I am giggling and having fun.  We get up to leave without Trace who found a young lady who looked like the doming type. As we approach the back door Justin and I are tangled in each other and are roaming our hands all over each other. The guard opens the door and the paps are still there.  The first flash goes off and Justin and I snap our heads down. The car comes around and Justin ushers me in. He gets in after me and the light bulbs are still going off. I giggle a little and pull Justin close to me and whisper  “ Do you think I should suck your dick now or later?” 

I never thought the paps were horrible people I just thought that overly

pampered stars complain about having their picture taken for no good reason. 

But they are down right annoying. They have been printing all this crap in the

magazines about me calling me “Justin’s Mystery Girl”. First of all I AM NOT

JUSTIN’S GIRL. He does not own me. And I am not a mystery. I have papers to

prove that I was born and didn’t just spring up from the ocean or some crap like

that. But all my friends have been calling me and asking me what is up. I don’t

really tell anyone the truth. The truth is I am a little ashamed of it. I am not

one of those girls that just want to be famous. I just want to hang out with my

friend and have a good time. I don’t want people to know about it. This whole

thing is making Justin and I fight constantly. He wants to hold my hand in public

or give me a kiss at lunch but I won’t let him. I just want to live my life without

some crazy camera in my face. This is all Justin’s fault and he won’t stop being

a douche bag about it.

            “ You need to just deal with it. It comes with the territory” He yells at

me. We are driving in his car on the way to the studio where he is going to

record.

            “ Can you stop being a douche bag for one second and be concerned

about me for once” I yell back at him.

            “ There is nothing I can do about it. You are just going to have to deal”

He shouts back.

            “ I don’t want to deal with it. I want to live my life and be a normal

eighteen year old” I scream. I am so frustrated with the whole thing. Justin

doesn’t care about how I feel and he is being selfish.

            “ Are you going to keep complaining about it? Do you know how many

girls would kill to be in your position and you are just throwing it away because

you don’t want to get your picture taken? You are being such a brat” He tells

me.  He might be right but there is no way in God’s good green earth that I am

going to let him talk to me like that.

            “ Are you out of your mind? Don’t talk to me like I am one of your

groupies. Stop being such a dickwad and show me some respect for once” I yell

back at him. I give him a shove in the shoulder and the car swerves a little. He

gives me a look like he is about to kill me.

            “ I am tired of your games Amaka. Stop acting like a little kid”. He

shouts at me. He is getting all red and he looks like he is going to explode.

            “ I am not the one acting like a kid. You are trying to parade me

around like some sort of prize. I am not a toy so don’t treat me like one” I say

as I look in my purse.

            “ I am sorry that I am proud that I have a gorgeous woman and I just

want to show her off. Besides you are so ashamed of me you won’t even walk

next to me in the public” Justin shouts as he grabs my purse and throws it in the

back seat.  He is absolutely right. I don’t want to be seen with him. I am

thoroughly embarrassed by Justin. I don’t want people to know that I am with

him. I don’t want anyone I know to ever meet him. It is not that he is a horrible

person even though he is. It is that I would have to admit that I like him a lot.

And that would really hurt me.

            After my fight with Justin things have been a little crazy. We haven’t

really made up but we don’t yell at each other as much. I decided to go to the

dance studio to dance away some of my stress. I just wanted to get a little

release. I am ballerina.  I love dancing and I wanted to remember what it feels

like to dance the way I grew up dancing. I am in the middle of my dance as a

bunch of people walk into the studio. I keep dancing and ignore all the noise

they are making. When I am done I turn around to give the people a dirty look

and to tell them to shut their mouths. When I turn around I am instantly

surprised at who is standing before me. It’s Britney Spears.

            Now looking at Britney she is exactly what people say she is. Her hair

isn’t brushed. She is smacking loudly on a piece of gum. She is smiling and

looking generally lost. She is barely wearing any clothes. She has fishnets with

holes on and a tummy bearing T- shirt on. She looks like she has been through a

lot but she also looks like an innocent twelve year old girl who doesn’t even

know what sex is. Even I cannot pull off that kind of innocence. There is a

reason this girl sells millions of records.

            “ Hi, I’m Britney” She says with her little southern accent. This girl is

so sweet that I think I might throw up.

            “ Hi, I’m Amaka” I say with a small smirk.

            “ Oh you are Justin’s new girlfriend”. She says to me. Her smile

deflates for a moment but perks right back up. I don’t know what to say to her

so I just nod my head.

            “ Oh how is he? I haven’t seen him in years. He was such a great guy.

Always bringing me flowers and telling me how pretty I was. I bet he just

showers you with affection” She says in a quiet voice.  I am beginning to get

confused. Justin is nothing like that.

            “ Are we talking about the same Justin?” I ask. Maybe she went out

with a different Justin.

            “ Of course silly. You are so funny. Justin always liked the funny girls.

He is doing so well nowadays. He was always so talented. I knew he could make

it out on his own” She babbles. Its like she is in her own little world and I am

just a body to make her look less crazy.

            “ You don’t let him go. Good boys like him are hard to find” She says

to me as she walks around to the other part of the studio.

            It’s official Brittney Spears is certifiable.