Rachel Olivia Kline:

Joshua Scott Chasez:

Megan Taylor:

Jackson Taylor:

"Well," She started.  JC watched from beneath the brim of his hat as she tucked some of her long blonde hair behind her ears.  "This is the part where you tell me what you want to do."  She looked over at him and he raised his eyes connecting with her brown eyes, causing his mind to momentarily go blank.  There was something about her that...he shook his head.  Rachel sat looking at him, waiting for him to speak.

"Well, you know," he started, wondering if this was such a great idea.  "I bought this house about eight years ago and at the time, never really had the chance to do what I wanted to it.  Things have slowed down a little for me now and I wanted to..." he shrugged, "I don't know...make some changes, update some things.  You know." He stopped himself from rambling anymore and coming off as any more of an idiot.  He had purchased this house back in 2000 when he had been on top of the world.  But now JC looked around the large front room they were sitting in and couldn't help feeling...restless. 

It was true-what he'd told Rachel-things had definitely slowed down and because of that he was home.  A lot.  Maybe it was having just had another birthday that was making him come to grips with reality (after all he wasn't a kid anymore).  Thirty-two.  He cringed and stretched his legs out in front of him.  If he were completely honest with himself he knew his life would never be what it once was (no matter how he might wish otherwise) and the thought of spending any amount of time in this house, with its sharp clean lines and sterile white walls left him with a bitter taste in his mouth.  He had thought about moving but that thought made him cringe even more.  Moving was more hassle than it was worth.  So that left him with the only other option: remodeling or redecorating.  If he was stuck here, it was time to turn this house into his home.

"I was told you only wanted to do a couple rooms, is that right?" Rachel asked, bringing him back to reality.  He turned his head and looked over at her. 

"To start with." He said.

"Okay," she said as she pulled one of the notebooks she'd set on the coffee table into her lap.  She flipped it open, grabbed a pen from her purse and looked at him.  "Which rooms?" She asked.

"The main ones." He answered.  "Kitchen, Living Room, Family Room," he was ticking them off on his fingers as Rachel began making notes on the paper in front of her, "Bedroom." He finished.  He looked over at her when he thought he heard her breath hitch.  Was her hand shaking, or was it just his imagination?  Once more he looked-really looked-at the woman sitting at the other end of his couch.  She couldn't be more than twenty-three, if that.  Too bad. He thought.  If she were a few years older I might be tempted to... He left that thought unfinished as she spoke again.  Come on, Chasez. He told himself.  Concentrate.  But that was easier said than done.  He had been spending so much time in the studio lately working on his music that he hadn't really had time to pursue any girl he was interested in.  And now with the show on MTV being picked up for another season...He reached a hand up and adjusted the hat on his head.  Needless to say it had been a while since he'd been with someone.

Rachel looked over at him as he remained quiet.  Once again he was caught off guard by the beauty of her eyes.  He hadn't known the combination of blonde hair and brown eyes was possible and he wondered briefly if she was wearing contacts, or if she dyed her hair.  As he continued staring at her, however, he came to the conclusion that both colors were natural.  He'd been in the business long enough that he could usually spot a dye job from a mile away.    

"Do you have any ideas on what you want to do?" She asked.

"Not really." He answered.  "I mean, that's why you're here, right?"

"Um, okay." She said.  "Well, why don't you show me the rooms you want to redo and tell me what you don't like about them?" She offered.  "Then we'll go from there."

"Sure." He said, rubbing his hands on his thighs then standing.

"Should we start in here?" She asked standing and turning around, taking in the space.

"Yeah, alright." He answered with a shrug. 

"What don't you like about it?" She asked, looking at him over her shoulder. 

Why couldn't he remember where he had met her?  It was there, on the tip of his tongue, if he could just remember...  "Uh..." He rubbed his hands together as he looked around.  "It's too..." he scrunched his face up as he searched for the right words.  He was a famous songwriter, he never had a problem finding the right words but as he looked around the room he couldn't quite put his finger on what the problem was. "It's too..."

"Beige?" She asked, with a raise of one delicate eyebrow.

He chuckled.  "That's one way of putting it, I guess." He said, looking around at the neutral tones on everything from the furniture to the window coverings and carpet to the paint on the wall.  He'd never realized before just how bland this room was.  No wonder he hardly used it.  JC watched as Rachel began writing in her pad as she walked around the room.  She pulled out a small tape measure and began measuring one of the large windows that took up most of one wall.  "What are you doing?" He asked, coming to stand beside her. 

"Measuring." She said.

"That's obvious." He replied.  He reached out and held the end of the tape measure.  She looked at him for a second as if surprised then took a few steps away from him, stretching the tape across the glass.  She smiled at him as she made note of the width of the window.  He let go of the end he'd been holding onto as she stepped towards him again.

"I've got to take measurements of the room before I can get started on my sketches." She answered, walking around him and standing in front of the second window.  JC found his mouth turning up in a grin as he turned on his heels and held out his hand to her again.  Rachel again looked at him briefly as if trying to gauge his motives before handing him the end of the tape measure again. 

"How long have you been doing this?" He asked.

"Measuring windows?" She asked with a teasing grin. 

"Interior Design." He answered, watching her.  His interest was definitely piqued now.  That sassy comment led him to believe that under the very poised business woman persona was a spitfire just waiting until five o'clock to break free. 

"I actually just graduated in May.  I interned with A & R last summer and they offered me a position when I graduated."

"Did you go to UCLA?" He asked, making an assumption.  Graduated in May, he thought, surprised at the slight disappointment that he felt.  Just as I thought.  She's only twenty-three.

"Arizona State." Rachel replied as she wrote down the width of this second window.  "Do you have a step stool or something?" She asked looking at him.

"I'm sure I've got something." He answered.  "Why?"

She pointed to the ceiling.  "I've got to measure the height of the windows."

"I'll be right back." He said, handing her his end of the tape measure.  She smiled as she turned and looked around the room. 

JC paused before he turned the corner, looking back at Rachel.  He watched as she placed the end of her pen in her mouth and narrowed her eyes slightly.  She studied the layout of the room for a few seconds then began writing something in the notebook she had in her hand.  He shook his head once again trying to shake off the déjà vu as he turned and walked towards the kitchen in search of a step stool. 

Rachel released the breath she'd been holding as JC disappeared around the corner.  She tried to bite back the excited scream that had been building and was begging for release.  She couldn't help the few little jumps she did before forcing her inner teenager back into place.  As the professional adult she was took charge once more, Rachel giggled as she thought of Megan's reaction to the news she had to share with her.  She had felt certain she was going to go into cardiac arrest when JC had invited her in and made himself comfortable on his couch beside her.  And she thought she was going to die when he mentioned that his bedroom was one of the rooms he wanted to redo.  His bedroom!  How many girls could say they'd been in JC Chasez's bedroom?  Rachel stopped.  Uh...actually, on second thought.  I don't think I want to know the answer to that question. 

She had been proud of herself for the calm, professional demeanor she'd been able to project but the longer she sat there, inches away from the man she had been in love with since she'd been fifteen, she felt her control slipping.  When she had asked him what it was he didn't like about the room she had felt a bit sorry for him.  There he was: successful musician and entertainer, yet she could tell, even with everything he had and everything he'd accomplished in his life, he was still unsatisfied.  Fame not all it's cracked up to be, JC? She wanted to ask.  Instead, Rachel had walked across the room to measure the windows trying to distance herself from him a bit.  Trying to distance herself from the what he made her feel.  It was torture being this close to him again but being unable to touch him.  She was hurt and disappointed that he, apparently, didn't remember her and her mind and body were not helping matters any.  The longer she was in the same room with him the more vivid her memories became.  How it had felt to be in his arms.  How it had felt to dance with him.  How it had felt when he kissed her...

"You're in luck."

Rachel turned quickly as JC's voice interrupted her trip down memory lane.  She hoped her cheeks weren't as red as they felt.  Even though she knew there was no way he could have known what she was thinking she still felt a little guilty about the direction her thoughts had taken.  She smiled as he set the stool he'd found on the ground in front of the window.  She watched as he stepped onto it and held out a hand to her.  She swallowed as she stepped towards him, handing him the tape measure.  He stretched up, holding the end of the tape against the top of the window. 

Rachel closed her eyes and bit back a groan as the motion caused his shirt to lift slightly, revealing a hint of skin between the hem of his T-shirt and the waist of the boxers he was wearing beneath his jeans.  Her face felt like it was on fire as she bent down, holding her end of the tape to the bottom of the window sill.  Her hands shook slightly as she quickly jotted down the measurement trying to control her breathing...and thoughts.  Oh the things she'd like to do to the boy!  She was tempted to feel guilty about what she had just seen, but she couldn't help it that with him standing on the stool, his waist and hips had been right at her eye level.  What was she supposed to do?  Turn her back on him?  That would have made things awkward.  As he stepped down and moved the stool to the other window, again reaching up and holding the tape measure above his head, Rachel forced herself to look anywhere but where her eyes longed to go.

"Are you from Arizona?" He asked.

"What?" She asked, startled back to the task at hand.  She looked at the tape measure and wrote down the number she needed. 

"Arizona." He said, stepping down and handing her his end of the tape measure.  "You said you went to Arizona State."

"Oh, right." She concentrated on refolding the tape measure.  "Arizona."

"So are you?" He asked.

"From Arizona?" She asked, wanting to slap her head for how ridiculous she sounded.  Hi, I'm Rachel Kline and I'm a complete airhead!

"Yes." He said, his blue eyes laughing.  That's right. She thought.  Laugh it up.  You're obviously used to woman fumbling and falling all over themselves in front of you.

"Yes." She finally answered his question.  "Yes, I'm from Arizona." And I promise I'm usually not this blonde. She wanted to reassure him.

"That's cool." He said nodding.  "I've played there a few times."

"Yeah, I know." She said, wanting to slap herself again as he looked at her curiously.  She really needed some sort of filter system when it came to her mouth.  Normally she was able to contain her thoughts before they escaped but there was something about this man that caused all good sense to leave her body.  "I uh..." She laughed nervously.  "You guys came to Phoenix when I was in high school." She offered as explanation.

He just looked at her, a small smile on his face and Rachel tried not to act as disappointed as she felt.  She had hoped he was going say that he knew someone from Phoenix-Jackson-and thus it would finally click for him that he knew her as well.  Okay.  Obviously not.  She thought.  "I think I'm done in here." She said as he remained quiet.  "Why don't you show me the next room?"

"Sure." He said turning and walking back out into the foyer.  Rachel gathered up the other notebook and papers she'd set on his coffee table then turned and followed him as he led her around to the other rooms. 

The rest of the house was similar to the front room they had started in.  Everything was so bland.  The house had no character and Rachel found it odd.  For a man who had no problem whatsoever expressing his rather...unique sense of fashion for the entire world to see, she would have thought his house would be oozing with his personality.  If she had just happened to walk into this house without knowing who owned it she would have had no clue that JC lived there.  Except for one wall downstairs that was covered with posters and plaques documenting his career and accomplishments in the entertainment business, and a few other miscellaneous awards scattered around the house, the only room that contained any sort of essence whatsoever of the man who lived here was his bedroom.  But even that was lacking the feeling of home that she sensed he was searching for.

As he took her upstairs and showed her into the bedroom Rachel felt like she had somehow won the JC Chasez lottery.  When she and Megan had been sixteen and the guys had come to Phoenix, the girls had worked extra hard to earn the money for tickets.  The day before they went on sale, however, Rachel had called in to one of the local radio stations and answered their trivia question correctly, thus earning her a pair of tickets and backstage passes to meet the guys.  Megan had flipped out when Rachel told her and the girls had immediately taken the money they would have spent on their tickets to the mall-buying cute new outfits to wear to meet their teen idols instead. Rachel and Megan had been on cloud nine and had told everyone they knew (and even a lot of people they didn't know) that they were going to meet N SYNC.  However, the afternoon of the concert they had both gotten food poisoning and had spent most of the weekend curled around their respective toilets-their chance at meeting JC, Justin, Joey, Lance and Chris lost forever. 

Rachel looked over at JC as he walked farther into the bedroom.  I never would have complained so much about getting sick, she thought, if I knew I'd one day be standing here.  She looked around the large room, her brows furrowing slightly as she took in the layout.  The same boring neutral color pallet that had been in the other rooms continued.  The only redeeming things being the few dark blue pillows on his bed and the large green and blue abstract painting hung above the dresser on the far wall. 

As she walked around, taking measurements and making notes of what JC was telling her Rachel noticed several books stacked on a small table beside a large overstuffed chair, a pair of reading glasses folded on top.  The image of JC sitting in that chair, wearing those glasses and reading a book made her smile and Rachel drew her bottom lip into her mouth as she looked over at him.  He was leaning against the wall watching her.

"Tuesdays with Morrie?" Rachel asked, referencing one of the books on the table.

"It's a great book." He answered.  "Have you read it?"

"No, but I saw the movie." Rachel replied with a smile.  "I read his other book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven." She said.  She turned back to her sketchbook, but watched from the corner of her eye as he walked towards her.  She looked up and watched as he removed the glasses from on top of the book and removed the book from the pile. 

"I just finished it." He said, holding it out to her.  "You should read it.  It's much better than the movie."

"Books generally are." She replied with a small smile.  "Are you sure?" She asked a bit taken back by his offer.   She stepped closer to accept the book, her knees suddenly feeling weak as the scent of his cologne hit her again.

"Yeah." He smiled.  "You'll bring it back, right?" His smile turned playful as he winked at her.

"Yeah." Rachel breathed as she nodded slowly.  They stood, looking at each other for a few moments.  All the while, Rachel was silently begging him to remember who she was.  Had he been that intoxicated the night of Megan's wedding?  As much as she'd kicked herself over the past year for rejecting his offer to go back to his hotel with him that night, Rachel was now thankful she hadn't.  Having him not remember her after making out was one thing.  Having him not remember her after sleeping together would have been devastating. 

Alright. She thought.  If you don't remember me, I'll pretend I don't know what an incredible kisser you are.  Rachel bit back a sigh, her lips tingling at that thought.  What she wouldn't give to feel his lips on hers again, but...she could play it cool.  She would play it cool.  What else could she do?

JC took a step towards her, closing the small space between them, the look in his eyes making her heart skip a beat.  She cleared her throat, stopping him in his tracks.  "I think I've got what I need to draw up a proposal for you."

"How long does that take?" He asked, his eyes still focused intently on her.

"Two or three days." She said proud of her composure.  Having JC standing there, looking at her like that was doing strange things to her heart and made her feel a little like she did when she went out drinking.  "I should have it to you by the end of the week."

"Okay." He said, turning and walking out of the room.  Rachel had no choice but to follow him.  "I've got a few more designers I'm meeting with this week so that's fine." He said as they made their way back downstairs.

"Okay." Rachel said.  "Do you want me to call you...or email the proposal to you...or...?" She left it up to him to decide how he wanted her to contact him again.

"Uh...email works I guess." He said, reaching a hand out towards her.  Rachel handed him the pen in her hand, the held out the sketchbook she'd been taking notes in.  He quickly wrote out his email address and handed both items back to her.  She looked down at what he'd written: jscmusic76@gmail.com.  She smiled.  Very safe. She thought.

"It was nice meeting you, JC." Rachel said, holding out her hand.  He took her hand in his and again thought she saw a spark of recognition in his eyes.  But she was either seeing things or he was a very good actor.  "I'll get working on this proposal and email you in the next couple days."

"Sounds good." He said.  He smiled as he opened the door for her.  "I'll be looking for your email."

Rachel pulled her sunglasses from her purse.  "Do I need a code to get back out?" She asked, looking at him as she placed the dark lenses over her eyes.

"Nope." He said.  "It opens automatically from this side."

"Well, again, it was nice meeting you, JC," she said walking towards her car.  He said nothing, just shoved his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the doorframe. 

Rachel smiled once more at him as she slid behind the wheel of her car.  Turning the key in the ignition she maneuvered out of the driveway and through the gate.  Reaching over to the seat she picked up the earpiece to her cell phone, inserted the ear bud into her ear, plugged the other end into the phone and hit the speed dial button for Megan.

She heard Megan pick up her phone and before her friend could say anything Rachel cut her off.  "Aaahhhh!!!" She screamed.  "You will never guess who I just spent over an hour with!"

"Uh..." Megan stalled with a laugh.  "Hold on, I'm at the office.  Let me get outside before you start screaming again!" Megan laughed.

"Okay, but hurry!  I don't know how much longer I can contain myself." Rachel said, pulling off into a grocery store parking lot.  She had gone about as long as she could keeping her excitement contained and was too preoccupied to concentrate on driving.  Her insurance rates were already through the roof (due to a few accidents in the past) and she really couldn't afford another one on her driving record.  "Megan, I about died today when I got to the door and found out who the guy was."

Megan chuckled.  "Okay, spill the beans.  Wait, let me guess...I can tell you're jumping out of your skin so it's got to be someone pretty big.  Uh...Justin Timberlake?" Megan asked.

Rachel laughed.  "Nope."

"Uh..."

"It was JC!" Rachel blurted out before Megan could guess again.

"What?!" Megan almost screamed.  "Are you serious?"

"Would I joke about something like this?" Rachel asked. 

"Tell me everything!" Megan said excitedly. 

"How much time do you have?" Rachel laughed.

"Don't worry about that." Megan replied.  "This is way more important!"

Both girls giggled.  "Oh Megan," Rachel sighed.  "He's...he's..."

"Sexy?" Megan guessed.

"Oh, sexy is an understatement." Rachel said.  "Sexy does not even begin to describe the man.  He's like..." Rachel giggled.

"What?" Megan asked.  "He's like what?  What is he like?"

"He's like...like the first taste of chocolate mousse-smooth and creamy and leaves you wanting more."  Rachel sighed and Megan laughed. 

"You're crazy, you know that, right?" Megan laughed.  Rachel laughed. "Does he look good?" Megan asked.  "What was he wearing?  What did he say?  What did you say?  Does he remember you?"

Rachel laughed.  "He looks good.  Real good." She sighed as she laid her head back on the headrest. 

"What was he wearing?"  Megan asked again.  "Come on, paint the picture for me.  Help me visualize what went on."

"It's hard to believe you're a married woman about to have a baby." Rachel teased.  "Does Jackson know you still fantasize about JC?" Rachel asked.

"Yes.  We have an understanding about it."

"What kind of understanding?" Rachel asked, chuckling.

"I fantasize and he pretends to understand." Megan said, causing Rachel to laugh.  "Just like I pretend to understand his fondness for Sandra Bullock."

Rachel giggled then told Megan everything that had happened since they had hung up a few hours ago.  She described everything from what he had been wearing to how he had been sitting to the heart attack she almost had when she'd come face to stomach with his skin.  Rachel recounted in detail everything that had been said between them and told Megan of the couple times she had thought JC remembered her, and then expressed her disappointment in the fact that JC apparently had no clue who she was. 

"But maybe that's better." She said.  "I mean, we only made out after only knowing each other for about an hour.  It's not like I really want him to remember me as a slut."

Megan laughed.  "That's true." She said.  "Hopefully this is a new start for you two."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.  She swore softly under her breath when she saw what time it was.  Most of her initial excitement had worn off and she had to get back to the office before she was fired.  Putting her car in gear she exited the parking lot and made her way across town. 

"Well, if he accepts the proposal you send him, which, by the way, I can't believe you have JC Chasez's email address!!  Do you know how many girls would kill to have that kind of insider information?" Megan asked.  Rachel laughed.  "But like I was saying," Megan continued, "If he accepts the proposal you send him then you'll be spending a lot of time with him.  It's the perfect opportunity to show him you're not always a slut." She teased.

"Yeah, except for one thing." Rachel said, her excitement rapidly fading as reality set in.  It was nice to dream about, but the sad fact was, she probably wouldn't see JC again.  This was the second time she'd had to say good-bye to the man and she didn't like it.  She didn't like it at all.  Why was it just when she thought her dreams were coming true reality had to rise up and slap her in her face?

"What?" Megan asked.

"Even if he accepts the proposal and wants my company to do this job I'm not going to be the one working with him."

"What?!  Why not?"

"Because I'm at the bottom of the totem pole, Megan." Rachel said, merging onto the freeway.  "I'm the one they send in to get all the initial information.  I talk to the clients.  I take the measurements.  I note what kind of theme the client wants or what their likes and dislikes are and then I put the proposal together.  I do all the dirty work but then I have to pass it on to one of the senior managers.  They're the ones who get to do all the fun stuff."

"That's ridiculous!" Megan exclaimed. 

Rachel signaled and looked over her shoulder as she changed lanes to pass a school bus that was in her lane.  "Ridiculous or not," She said.  "That's the way it works.  I'm just a lowly first year graduate.  If he were some ordinary guy I might be given the job, but not with him being a celebrity.  Matt's going to give this one to either Courtney or Abbie."

"I'm sorry, Ray." Megan said.

"Yeah." Rachel said, disappointment filling her.  "You and me both."

"But hey," Megan said with a smile in her voice.  "At least you still have his email address right?"

Rachel chuckled.  "Yeah.  I guess for a consolation prize that's pretty good, huh?"

"Definitely." Megan said.  "Hey," Megan said.  "I better get back to work."

"Yeah," Rachel said.  "And I'm almost at the office."

"Call me later?" Megan asked.

"Of course." Rachel answered with a sad smile.

"I'll talk to you later then."

"Okay, bye."  Rachel flipped her phone closed and took the earpiece from her ear.  She reached over and flipped on the radio, hoping for a song she knew that she could sing along to and attempt to get her thoughts off of JC.  It was just her luck-meeting him for a second time yet being unable to do anything but keep a professional distance from him and exchange small talk all the while screaming inside and wanting to jump into his arms.  She wanted to find out if kissing him was as incredible as she remembered it being or if her imagination had blown in out of proportion in the time since she'd experienced what millions of girls all over the world would kill to experience.  Megan's right. Rachel thought as she exited the freeway and drove towards her office.  I'm one of the lucky ones and need to just move on.  Now if only she could convince herself of that.

~*~

Rachel sat in her small cubicle a week later, working on a design sketch for an outdoor wedding she had been put in charge of.  She put the end of her pen in her mouth as she tilted her head to the side, looking over her notes.  If I can talk Lucy into getting rid of the statues and putting a few more tables there in the middle, things would flow so much better. She thought.  She reached for her sample book and flipped a couple pages coming to the particular fabric swatch she thought would go perfectly with the colors the bride had chosen.  Making note of the name and number of the sample, Rachel continued working on her idea.  A tent there with lights and some candles over there and I think-

Her head jerked up when a large green file folder was thrown in front of her.  Surprised at the interruption Rachel swiveled in her chair, turning to find the origin of the mysterious folder.  Matt Richards, vice president and son of one of the owners of the company, stood leaning against the wall, arms folded casually across his chest. 

"What's this?" Rachel asked gesturing at the folder.

"That," He said with a smile.  "Is your first job.  Congratulations."

Rachel looked closer at the folder lying in front of her, her eyes widening at the name typed on the label: Chasez, JC.  "This is a joke, right?" She asked, looking up at Matt.  He shook his head.  "He accepted the proposal?" Rachel asked unbelievingly.

"Yep.  He called about an hour ago."

"Why are you giving this to me?" Rachel asked.  Not that she wasn't dieing for the chance to work with JC but she knew how things worked here.  She was the last person that should be given this account.  "Courtney, or Abbie, or even Chad should be--"

"JC accepted the proposal you put together with one condition." Matt interrupted her.

"What was that?" Rachel asked.

"He said he'd only work with us if you were the designer."

"Me?" Rachel asked, her heart beating rapidly, her face betraying her shock over this news.

"He said he was impressed with your professionalism and that you had a ton of great ideas that he really liked."

"He asked for me specifically?" Rachel asked.  She heard the words coming out of his mouth but for some reason her brain refused to accept or process them.

"It's there in the contract if you don't believe me." Matt chuckled.  Rachel flipped the file folder open and skimmed over the contract Matt had drawn up.  Sure enough, there was her name. 

"I-I...I don't know...thank you." She said, looking back at Matt.

"Don't thank me." He said with a smile.  "The customer gets they want and this customer wants you.  He's waiting for your call to set up another consultation."  Matt said, turning on his heels and leaving her cubicle.

Rachel smiled as Matt's last statement settled around her.  He's waiting for your call.  "Well," she said, under her breath, "Those are definitely words I never thought I'd hear." Rachel chuckled to herself as she dug her cell phone out of her purse.

Are you busy?

She sent the message and waited for Megan's response.

Give me ten minutes.

Rachel quickly typed a response:

Call me ASAP.

We need to talk!

With the message sent, Rachel attempted to go back to the wedding design in front of her, but her eyes kept straying to the green folder sitting on her desk.  As much as she tried concentrating on outdoor tents and wedding arches her thoughts were racing.  Why would he request me personally? She thought.  She gasped as the most obvious answer came to mind.  He does remember me!  Rachel felt a giddy excitement fill her, as she grinned.  Her euphoria was short lived however when common sense once more took over.  If he did remember me, why didn't he say something when I was there?  Why didn't he call me?  He has my number.  Unless he deleted it.  Rachel sighed as she placed her elbows up on her desk and covered her face with her hands.  Come on, Megan! She silently plead.  Where are you?

As if she had heard Rachel's thoughts from where she was in Phoenix, Rachel's cell phone vibrated; Megan's name popping up on the screen.  Rachel sighed in gratitude as she flipped her phone open and quickly walked out of her cubicle and down the hallway to the front doors.

"What's going on?" Megan's concerned voice asked.

"I'm having a nervous breakdown." Rachel responded.

"Why?"

"How much time do you have?" Rachel asked, walking out and sitting on one of the benches outside her office building.

"I'm on my lunch break right now." Megan said.  "So I've got about an hour.  Talk."

"Do you remember..." Rachel started, then laughed.  "Of course you remember, how could you forget?"

"How could I forget what?" Megan asked.

Rachel groaned.  "I'm so confused, Megs.  He's driving me absolutely insane, which is ridiculous because, let's be honest, I hardly know the guy.  Well, I mean I know him but I don't know him, you know?"

"Okay, pause." Megan said, trying to hold back her laughter.  "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Where do I start?" Rachel mused.

"The beginning is usually the best place." Megan responded sarcastically.

"Remember how I've been in love with N SYNC, and more specifically JC for um...almost half my life?"

"Yeah." Megan responded.

"Okay, and remember how my fantasy of one day making out with JC came true last year at your wedding?"

Megan laughed.  "Yes."

"And remember how, after crying over the fact that he never called me-even though I gave him my number-and then moving here and realizing it was ridiculous to get my hopes up at ever meeting him again, I did meet him again?  Last week?"

"Yeah," Megan said.

"And remember how I said I'd never get to work with him?"

"Mmmhmm." Megan hummed.

"I was wrong." Rachel said.

"About what?" Megan asked, her voice sounding confused.

"Working with him."

"What do you mean?"

"Matt, my boss, handed me a folder with JC's name on it this morning."  Rachel said.  Megan gasped.  "Yeah." Rachel said as her friend finally caught on.  "Apparently, JC called and accepted the proposal I sent him."

"That's great!" Megan said.  "But...I thought you said one of the senior managers was going to get his file."

"That's what I thought." Rachel said.

"Well..." Megan prodded.  "What happened?"

"He accepted the proposal on one condition."

"Which was?"

"That I be the designer in charge."

"What?!"  Megan blurted out.  "Oh, ho!" She started giggling.  "Oh, he likes you!"

"He does?" Rachel asked.

"Yep." Megan was quick to assure her.  "Either that or he just wants to make sure he gets his book back." She teased.  Rachel had to laugh at that.

"Does he like me because he remembers making out with me, or does he like me because he likes me?" Rachel asked.  "Don't you think he would have said something when I was there is he did remember me?  And if he does remember me and our little...um...escapade, why didn't he call me?"

"Calm down." Megan answered with a laugh.  "I don't know."

"You don't know?  What kind of a best friend are you?" Rachel pouted.

Megan laughed again.  "I don't know why he never called you, Ray." She answered.  "Boys are dumb like that.  They're always doing things you don't expect.  Just...take the opportunities that come your way.  Stay calm and play it cool.  Don't question them or you might miss out on some amazing experiences." Megan giggled.  "I mean, come on!  How many girls can say they've had a personal request from JC Chasez to redecorate his house?!"

Rachel laughed.  "Yeah.  You're right."

"Of course I am.  So, when do you get to see him again?"

"Matt said he was waiting for me to call and set up a second appointment."

"And you're calling me?!" Megan exclaimed.  "I'm hanging up, but you better call me tonight."

"I will." Rachel laughed.

"I'm expecting regular updates on this...and you better not leave anything out!"

"I won't."

"Why are we still talking?" Megan asked.

"I don't know!" Rachel responded, still laughing.

"Okay, call me later!"

"Bye." Rachel said quickly before Megan hung up.  She flipped her phone closed and shook her head, smiling at the antics of her best friend.  As she walked back inside and sat down at her desk Rachel reached for JC's file, flipped it open and ran her finger down the first page until she found the contact number listed for him.

"Well," She muttered under her breath.  "If JC's expecting my call, who am I to keep him waiting?" Rachel picked up the telephone receiver, took a deep breath and dialed the seven numbers he had left. 

Here goes nothing. She thought.

“You realize that in another month you won’t be able to call me this early right?” Megan asked over the phone Monday morning as Rachel frantically rifled through her closet.  

“In another month we’ll be in the same time zone again,” Rachel replied, “And I can call you whenever I want without having to figure out in my head the time difference.”

“Uh…correction.” Megan replied.  “In another month I will not be up at…what time is it again there?” She asked.

Rachel looked at her alarm clock then turned back to the full length mirror hanging on her wall and held a dark blue blouse up against her.  It is his favorite color. She thought then rolled her eyes at herself as she threw the shirt on the bed and went back to the closet. “Six-thirty.” She replied.

“I will not be up at six thirty.” Megan stated.  “And if you even think of calling me that early we will cease to be friends.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Rachel replied with a laugh, knowing full well Megan’s threat was an idle one.

“So what’s so important that you had to call me this early on a Monday morning?” Megan asked.

“Hi, Rachel.” Rachel heard Jackson call out.  She smiled.

“Hey, Jackson.” She replied.

“Rachel says, hey.” Megan conveyed the greeting to her husband.

“I’m meeting with JC today, remember?” Rachel asked. 

“Oh yeah!  What time is your appointment?” Megan questioned.

“Nine.  You have to help me decide what to wear.” Rachel said, pulling out a white button down shirt and a grey vest.  Again she turned to the mirror, holding the articles of clothing up against her body.  She cocked her head to the side, scrutinizing the outfit.  The vest would help accentuate her figure, but was it too sexy?  She didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.  After all it seemed as if she had been given a second chance to impress the guy and Rachel did not want to come off as being as easy as she had the first time they’d met.  She threw the shirt and vest onto the growing pile atop her bed and whined into the phone.  “I don’t know what to wear, Megan!  Nothing is fitting right today.” Rachel stuck out her bottom lip in a pout and sat down on her bed.

Megan snorted in derision.  “You have no right to complain about clothes not fitting right, little Miss I’m-a-dancer-and-I’ve-got-the-body-that-guys-drool-over-to-prove-it.” Rachel couldn’t help the laugh that came at Megan’s sarcastic attitude.  “Besides,” Megan continued, “You’re not the one who’s almost five months pregnant and whose stomach continues to swell everyday.  When you no longer fit into your ‘fat’ pants call me and we’ll talk.  Oh, and P.S., I’m not talking about your ‘fat’ jeans.” Megan pointed out.  “I’m talking about your ‘fat’ sweatpants.”

“Bitchy today are we?” Rachel asked pulling out a pinstriped blouse. 

“No, not at all.” Megan replied sarcastically.  “Today’s actually a good day.  Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason.” Rachel answered frowning at her reflection yet again.  She stamped her foot in frustration as another shirt joined the “no way in hell” pile.  “Seriously, Megs.  What should I wear?  Pants?  Skirt? Short sleeves? Long sleeves?  A dress?”

“What did you wear on Friday?” Megan asked.

“A pair of black slacks and a white blouse.”

“So what’s wrong with that?”

“I didn’t have an appointment with JC Chasez—the man, who may I remind you, I’ve been in love with since I was fifteen—on Friday!” Rachel responded.  “That’s what’s wrong.”

“Why are you freaking out about this?” Megan asked with a chuckle.  “It’s not like you haven’t met him before.  Hell, you’ve made out with the boy!  Why is this stressing you out so much?  Just think of him as if he were any other client.”

“Because, it was obvious” Rachel rolled her eyes, “Painfully obvious, that he didn’t remember who I was when we met a few weeks ago.  If that really is the case then I have another chance at showing him who I really am.”

“I think you already did a great job at showing him who you are.” Megan interjected, trying to hold back her laughter.

“Anyway…” Rachel said as she flopped back onto her bed next to the mountain of discarded clothing.  She did not want to admit to the fact that she did indeed want what Megan assumed.  She couldn’t or she would never hear the end of it.  “How do I show him who I am?”

“By being yourself.” Megan stated matter of factly.

“Gee, thanks.” Rachel mumbled.

“No, listen to me.” Megan interrupted.  “You’re going to be spending time with him, who knows exactly how much time, but you will be spending time with him and if he can’t see how amazing you are, he’s not worth it.  Now I know,” she hurried to add before Rachel could interrupt, “that you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true.  Just…don’t let the fact that he’s a celebrity keep you from being yourself.  I think it’s pretty safe to say that you’ve already made an impression on him or he wouldn’t have called and requested you.”

“You’re going to be great at the whole ‘mom’ thing.” Rachel observed with a smile.  “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Megan responded.  “Now get up, put on your cutest outfit, leave your hair down— guys like long hair— and go knock his socks off.”

  
Rachel laughed.  “Alright.” She said standing and, taking a deep breath, squaring her shoulders.

“Listen, I gotta go.” Megan said.  “Jackson’s about to leave and I’ve got to finish getting ready.  Are you going to be alright?”

“Yes.” Rachel stated, digging through the clothes on her bed for the short sleeve sage green blouse she’d discarded an hour ago. 

“Are you going to call me later with all the juicy details?”

Rachel laughed.  “Of course.”

“Okay.  I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Yeah.” Rachel said.  “Thanks, Megs.”

“You’re welcome.” Megan replied, a smile in her voice.  “Bye.”

Rachel flipped her cell phone closed, placing it on her dresser as she pulled her favorite pair of black pants from the closet.  After pulling them on she slid her arms into the sleeves of the shirt she’d pulled from the pile and quickly buttoned it, then brushed through her hair.  Applying a few light touches of makeup and a pair of simple silver hoop earrings Rachel stood back and took in her appearance.  Raising her chin confidently she smiled, wondering what he would be wearing today.  Did he ever go through what she’d just gone through just to pick out an outfit to wear to work?  Probably not. She thought.  After all, he is a guy and they normally don’t spend too much time stressing about what shoes go with what outfit.  Although, she paused as she grabbed her purse and a yogurt from her fridge as she left her apartment.  He has worn some pretty interesting outfits in the past.  He probably puts more time than I do into thinking about what he wears.

Rachel couldn’t help chuckling to herself as she recalled some of the more unusual outfits JC had been seen (and pictured) in over the years.  The boy definitely had his own sense of fashion at times.  But, Rachel thought as she slid behind the wheel of her Jetta and started the car, he wouldn’t be the JC we all love if he wasn’t a little odd from time to time.  He had confidence that was for sure and Rachel had always been a sucker for guys who were confident.  There was nothing better than a guy who knew exactly what he wanted and didn’t let anything stand in his way.  To be able to see that fire of determination in someone’s eyes, to know they knew who they were and didn’t give damn what other people thought, was very sexy.  JC came across as exactly that type of guy, which was a very dangerous thing in Rachel’s book.

As she drove across town to his house Rachel couldn’t help the excited flutter in her stomach at the thought of once more being in his presence.  After receiving the news last week that she was going to have the chance to work with him after all, Rachel had dialed the contact number JC had given.  She sat, anxiously waiting to hear something she’d always wanted to hear: his voice on the other end of the line.  Needless to say she had been a little surprised and a lot disappointed when a British woman had answered the phone.  After taking a second to recover and making sure she had the right number, Rachel had set up this appointment time with the woman (his assistant) and then went about the rest of her work week and weekend trying not to freak out over the fact that she had another meeting with JC.

She knew it was going to be torture being close to him again, yet having to maintain a professional distance from him, but there was nothing in the company handbook against flirting with clients.  Rachel was the mistress of flirting and she was prepared to do whatever it took to grab JC’s attention and get him to really notice her—if she could just get over her butterflies.  This was her chance (second chance, really) and she wasn’t going to waste it.  She flipped through the preset stations on her radio, searching for an upbeat song to get her mind off the excited nervousness she felt.

Rachel ended the call then gripped the steering wheel as she took a deep breath, trying to relax.  He’s just another client.  He’s just another client...that you made out with at your best friend’s wedding!  Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head at her behavior.  While it was true she would probably do the same thing over again, she often wondered why it was she had done it in the first place.  She had assumed (naively) that making out with JC would help her come to grips with reality—force her to be the adult her driver’s license said she was.  Surely he couldn’t be as good as the media and her imagination had made him out to be all those years.  But she had been wrong.  Oh so wrong!  It had been an exhilarating and thrilling experience, and Rachel had quickly found herself more infatuated with him then ever before.  Even Benjamin Steeler (the perpetual ‘fall back guy’ she’d had during college) had been completely left by the wayside after that.

After leaving him at Megan’s reception, Rachel had waited and waited…and waited for him to call.  Each day hoping against hope that an unknown number would flash across the screen on her phone and his voice would be on the other end.  But that day never came and, until two weeks ago when he had opened his front door and she had realized he was her new client, Rachel had almost convinced herself that she was okay with nothing more happening between them. 

Almost.

Truth be told, she had taken the internship with Adams & Richards last summer because of the chance to spend the summer in L.A.—ready access to the beach and the chance to be in the middle of a major design hub—but she had taken the job they had offered because of the possibility (however miniscule) of maybe one day bumping into or seeing JC again around town.  It was a very Felicity like move and Rachel knew it was probably pointless.

As she pulled up to the gate and punched in the code she still had from their initial meeting, Rachel made her way up the driveway and pulled to a stop, taking a moment and a few deep breaths to calm her suddenly racing heart.  Killing the ignition she gathered up the sample notebooks she had taken home with her Friday night, along with her sketchbook and got out of her car.  Locking the doors she straightened her shirt, walked up to the front door, rang the bell and waited. 

Luckily, she didn’t have to wait too long for, less than a minute later, JC opened the door a grin spreading across his face.

“Hi.” She said grinning as his eyes quickly took in her appearance.

“Hey,” He said, his blue eyes sparkling.  “Come on in.” He stepped back as Rachel walked inside, her knees weakening as she caught the scent of his aftershave.  How was it possible for a guy to smell that good and for that scent to affect her so strongly?  She stood, her heart flipping in her chest, as she watched him close the door then turn back around to face her.  His loose fitting jeans looked comfortable and the light blue button down shirt he wore made his eyes pop even more than usual while the sleeves that had been rolled up revealed his strong forearms.

“Have a seat.” He said, gesturing to the couch in the front room.  “I’ve got to go make a quick phone call.”

“Alright.” Rachel smiled, walking towards the couch.  “I’ll just get everything ready.”

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” He smiled.  “If you need anything, Sarah’s around here somewhere.”  He looked over his shoulder and down the hall, idly searching for his assistant.  “She can get you whatever you need.” He smiled.

Rachel reached for her phone and flipped it open.

 Holy hell, he’s sexy! Whyam I so attracted to him?  

She sent the text, hoping Megan was out of her meeting.  Rachel really needed her friend’s opinion on this matter.  She smiled when her phone vibrated a few seconds later and she read Megan’s response:

 That is the question millions of women wish they knew the answer to :) 

Rachel opened a blank message and typed her response: 

I think this is more than just a celebrity crush, Megs.  A lot more. 

Rachel bit her bottom lip and sent the text before she could chicken out.  Contrary to what Megan would say, she was an adult.  She knew he was a celebrity and therefore in a different league than herself.  She knew it was pointless to get her hopes up over anything happening again between them…it was like falling in love with cheesecake.  Pointless.  Absolutely pointless because nothing would ever happen, but she also knew that every other crush she’d had in her life paled in comparison to what JC made her feel.  His grin, the sparkle in his eyes, the purely masculine scent that surrounded him, and the way her stomach flipped every time she though about his kisses…this was way more than just a simple star crush.

This is ridiculous! Rachel scolded herself.  You’re not in love with him!  How can you be in love with him?  You don’t even really know him!  She was afraid of reading Megan’s text when her phone vibrated again.  She knew Megan almost as well as she knew herself and Rachel knew her friend would question her on what she had just said. 

Sure enough, Rachel chuckled as she opened the new text message she’d received, Megan was curious.

 What in the hell does that mean?? 

Rachel was about to reply when JC suddenly walked back into the room.  She quickly flipped her phone closed and dropped it back into her purse then turned and smiled up at him.

~~~~~~

“Alright.” JC clapped his hands together as he came back into the front room.  “Let’s get to work.”  He smiled as Rachel quickly dropped her cell phone into her purse and looked up at him, an almost guilty expression on her face.  She cleared her throat and looked down at the books she had opened and spread out on the coffee table, reaching up and tucking her long hair behind her ears.  “Uh…” He looked at everything she’d brought, “Do you wanna move to the kitchen table?” He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb.  “It’s a little bigger than that thing.”  He continued, pointing at the coffee table.

“Whatever you think is best.” Rachel replied, her eyes refusing to leave his.

After she had left that first day, promising to email a proposal to him, JC had found himself checking his email a lot more than he normally did.  He had tried to convince himself that the reason he had accepted her company’s bid was the fact that she was the most professional designer he’d met with.  The three other girls had been too star struck and giggly the entire time they’d been with him, proving their immaturity and the fact that they were fans first and foremost and that a business relationship would never work out.  But that wasn’t the real reason he had accepted Rachel’s proposal.  He was intrigued (and that didn’t happen very often).  Intrigued with her and intrigued with the fact that she hadn’t acted like all the other girls had.  Rachel had been very professional the entire time they’d been together, nothing in her body language or actions giving away the fact that she even knew who he was, and that made him curious.  After all, what girl in their mid-twenties didn’t know who he was?  Plus, he had really liked some of the ideas she had thrown out at their initial meeting.  There had been a couple times when she had said exactly what he had been thinking, or had been able to express exactly what he was feeling.  Without really knowing him, Rachel had been able to read him pretty well and he found that fascinating.

As they came into the big open kitchen, JC placed the books he was carrying on the table and finally turned to Rachel, his eyes once more traveling over her willowy frame.  She was thin but not scrawny—her body toned and well sculpted.  She moved with grace and fluidity, as if she had been a dancer before she’d gotten into Interior Design.  And those big brown eyes of hers that had been in his thoughts constantly over the past couple weeks watched him intently as he sat down across the table from her.  He lowered himself onto a chair and found himself thinking that if he were able to just stare at her long enough the secret of her identity would be revealed to him. 

“I’ve got a lot of great ideas.” Rachel said smiling and pulling him from his thoughts.  “And I’ve got to tell you,” she continued, “I’m really excited to be working with you on this.  I think it’s going to be a lot of fun and I think you’re really going to like the changes we make.”

JC watched as she started flipping through the notebooks piled on the table, pointing out different fabric swatches and paint samples, listing off different ideas and plans she had.  His eyes kept drifting up to look at her and he found himself captivated.  He could tell she loved her job and the passion and excitement she felt for it were contagious.  Everyone had told him that remodeling and redecorating his house would be a stressful experience that would have a perfectionist like himself pulling his hair out.  But as he had to force himself once more to pay attention to what Rachel was saying, the only thing he felt was a growing sense of excitement.  These next couple weeks could prove to be very interesting.  Now if only he could figure out where he knew her from…

~~~~~~

Rachel kept glancing over at JC as she talked, her heart skipping every time she looked up and found his blue eyes on her.  It made her smile, knowing he was watching her as much as she was watching him—if not more.

“So how does that sound?” She asked, looking up at him as she got done explaining some of her ideas.

“Sounds great.” He replied, his eyes keeping a steady hold on hers as he stayed leaning over the table, his arms crossed supporting his weight.  The look on his face tempted Rachel to ask if he had been listening to anything she had said the past thirty minutes and if he knew what he had just agreed to let her do to his house.  She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped.  “Are you sure?” She asked, raising a curious brow.

“Yeah.  Why?” He asked.  “What--”

“Yeah.  She’s great.  She’s awesome when it comes to juggling my schedule and she’s the most organized assistant I’ve ever had.  I don’t know what I’d do without her.”  JC smiled.

Yeah, I bet you don’t. Rachel fought not to roll her eyes at his praise for the young woman; the jealous teenage fan inside her again wondering about his relationship with the other woman.  “Well,” She said, closing her sketchbook and forcing herself to smile as she stood.  JC scooted his chair back and stood as well.  Rachel felt her smile grow at that small gesture of respect that had been done so automatically.  It just proved what kind of guy JC really was and the jealousy and bitterness she had been feeling moments before seemed to dissipate.  She began closing and gathering up the sample notebooks that were spread far and wide across the table.  “Tony should be in touch sometime this week, and then we can go from there.”

“Tony?” He questioned, his brows furrowing.

“The contractor.” Rachel supplied as she looked at him, the confused look in his blue eyes making her want to laugh.  His assistant may be drop dead gorgeous but it was plain old Rachel Kline who had just managed to have a long, detailed conversation with the boy, in which he had been too busy staring at her to process any of the information she had given him.  Rachel felt her deflated self-confidence bounce back just a little bit.  “The guy I told you about?” She continued.  “The one who’s going to move those walls I mentioned?”

“Oh, right.” JC said, his eyes and facial expression completely giving away the fact that he had no recollection of that particular detail.  “Right…the-the walls.”

Rachel bit her cheek to keep from smiling too big.  She flipped through her sketchbook and withdrew a couple pages.  “Here.” She said, handing them to him.  “These are your copies.” She gathered up the books and turned as he walked around the table.

“Thanks.” He said, looking down at the papers in his hands, then dropping his arms to his sides and walking with her back to the front door.

“Once Tony gets in touch with you and sets up a time to come do the demolition, I’ll come over with him beforehand to make sure he knows what it is we want to do.”

She glanced in her rearview mirror, a smile spreading as JC continued standing in his driveway, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, watching as she drove away.  Once she was out of his neighborhood and stopped at a red light, Rachel pulled her phone from her purse and flipped it open, quickly typing a message to Megan.

 Have I mentioned the fact that I am completely in love with him? 

She sent the message as traffic started moving.  Rachel couldn’t help the smile that stayed on her face as she thought back to the way his eyes hadn’t strayed from her face for very long during the entire time she’d been with him.  Even when Aphrodite herself had appeared, JC’s attention had been focused on her.  Her phone vibrated and she flipped it open as she pulled into line at the first fast food place she saw. 

 Is it love?  Or is it LOVE? 

Rachel laughed as she answered Megan.

 You know how I’m in love with cheesecake?  It’s like that...only times 1000. 

Rachel ordered a large diet Coke and waited for Megan’s response.

 LOL! That bad, huh? 

Rachel smiled as she pulled up to the window and handed the woman at the register her debit card.

 Yes, and I also managed to make a fool of myself in front of him!  I’ll tell you all about it when I call you tonight :)  

Megan’s response came quickly.

 Lol!  Alright, sounds good!Try not to drool over him too much today. 

Rachel smiled as she took her drink and pulled out of the drive-thru.  She made her way across town to her office and attempted to focus on the other projects she was working on.  However, a very distracting pair of blue eyes would not leave her mind.  Rachel’s heart flipped and her stomach fluttered every time she thought about him.  It was a very dangerous situation she had gotten herself into.  The more time she spent with JC the more she knew her heart was in danger of getting involved because she had the habit of building things up in her head and totally blowing them out of proportion.  Instead of feeling concerned however, all she felt was a giddy excitement.  This whole situation may very well end up in heartache and disappointment but Rachel didn’t care. 

"This is the first wall we want to knock down." Rachel said, placing her hand on the vertical surface in the front room as she walked Tony Franco (the general contractor her firm had on payroll) through JC's house on Friday afternoon.  JC had let them in but had then disappeared leaving a slightly disappointed Rachel to educate Tony on the design plans.  JC wanted to do this job one room at a time-making the entire project more expensive but less intrusive-and, since he was nowhere to be found, Rachel had made the executive decision to start with the front room.

"So we're knockin' it down and puttin' a archway here instead?" Tony asked in clarification, his accent giving away his Brooklyn upbringing. 

"Yep." Rachel smiled.  "The room is too closed off.  I want to open it up to the rest of the house so it'll get used more.  It's a great space but it's not being utilized."

"Whatever you want, girlie." Tony ginned at her as he looked down at the plans in his hands as he walked around the room.  Rachel stood back, her mind visualizing what this room would look like when it was finished.  The archway would, like she had told Tony, open the room up-letting in more natural light and allowing for better flow to the rest of the house.  As soon as the construction was finished she was going to paint the walls, add some drapes, recover the couches and in the corner-Rachel turned and smiled-a shiny new baby grand piano. 

She sighed, as she closed her eyes picturing the man who owned the house sitting at the keyboard of that instrument.  She knew he had a home studio downstairs with every sort of musical instrument one could probably want, but there was nothing like the sound that came from a baby grand.  And it was a crime, in Rachel's book, that JC had gone this long without having one in his house.  A house was an extension of the people who lived there and for there to be no indication whatsoever that a musician (especially a musician as talented and passionate as JC was) resided here was a sad fact that Rachel was working hard on rectifying. 

"Now, how come this guy doesn't want to do everything at the same time?" Tony asked, pulling Rachel from her thoughts.  She turned to look at the man, as he stood looking at the blueprints in his hands.  He was about six feet tall and looked like the typical New York Italian-dark hair that was starting to grey at the temples, friendly blue eyes and mustache.   

"He told me he only wants to do one room at a time."  Rachel shrugged.  "I told him it would be more expensive and drag it out longer, but if that's what he wants...it's his checkbook."

"I'd love to have money like that to burn." Tony observed. 

"Wouldn't we all." Rachel chuckled.  "Come on," she turned and walked out of the room.  "I'll show you the other wall we're going to move later."

~~~~~~ 

JC sat at the keyboard in his studio, listening to the sound of Rachel's laughter as it drifted downstairs.  He'd long ago taken off his headphones and for the past twenty minutes had just been sitting at the mixing board listening to Rachel explain to the contractor all the changes she wanted to make to his house.  The contractor-Tony, JC remembered-had a thick New York accent that kind of reminded him of Joey and made him smile as he wondered how his friend and former band mate was doing.  It had been a while since he'd talked to Joey and JC made a mental note to call him up later. 

After he watched another five minutes tick by on the clock JC realized he wasn't going to get any work done as long as she was here.  He removed the headphones that had been resting around his neck and stood.  Leaving the studio he wandered upstairs, following the sound of Rachel's voice until he found her and Tony in the kitchen discussing the changes she wanted to make to the lighting fixtures in the room.  JC smiled as he leaned against the wall and watched Rachel in action.  Her blonde hair, which was tied back in a simple pony tail today swung as she moved about the room and an excited smile lit her face.   

He'd looked over the design notes and sketches she'd left on Monday (chagrinned to realize that he basically had no idea what he had agreed to when she left) and had been impressed with her designs.  It was hard to believe that she had only just graduated.  She seemed so confident in her ideas and knew exactly what she wanted, but she wasn't cocky about it.  She had listened to what he'd told her and had incorporated his thoughts and ideas into her designs. 

"So we're knockin' down the wall in the front room, moving the wall in the great room back six feet, and doin' some rewirin' in here?" Tony asked. 

"That's it." Rachel said. 

"That's it?" JC asked sarcastically, finally making his presence known.  He smiled as she spun around and looked at him, her eyes wide in surprise.  "Don't you think you're doing enough?" He teased.  Rachel smiled.  "This whole project is costing me too much as it is.  I don't know if I could afford anything else."

"You'll thank me later when it's all done." She replied, confidently.  "But don't worry.  If I get anymore ideas about moving walls I'll let you know." Her eyes sparkled as she continued smiling up at him, it was ridiculous the happiness she was feeling right now.  JC had no idea the endorphins he released in her body.  What was it about the boy that made her so happy? 

"My guys'll be here startin' on Monday." Tony said, forcing JC to tear his eyes away from Rachel, looking over at the older guy.  "We've got a couple other projects we're workin' on right now, but this looks pretty routine.  We should have it done by the end of the week, then it's up to this lady here to finish the room and let us know when you're ready to move the other wall." 

"Are you going to be here?" JC asked, looking at Rachel. 

"Do you want me to be here?" Rachel asked him, silently hoping the answer would be yes.   

JC knew what his answer should be (‘Oh no, don't worry about it.  As long as they know what they're doing') but instead he found himself telling her yes.   

"Alright." Rachel smiled.  "Tony I'll meet you here at eight?  Sound good?" She asked as Tony rolled up the blueprints he had been holding and put a rubber band around the papers.   

"Bright and early." Tony said.  "Nice meetin' you." He held his hand out to JC.  

"You too." JC said, returning the firm handshake.   

"I'll let myself out." Tony said, as he walked out of the kitchen. 

"He's a great guy." Rachel said, placing her sketchbook into a red messenger bag that was laying on the kitchen table.  "You shouldn't have any problems with him or his guys." 

"I'm not worried." JC assured her as he turned and opened one of his cabinets.  "You want a drink of something?" He asked removing a glass. 

"No thanks." Rachel replied, slinging the bag over her shoulder.  "I've got to get back to the office."  JC set the empty glass on the countertop and turned to follow her as she walked out of the kitchen.  "Oh!" She turned around quickly, making him do a quickstep to keep from running into her.  She rummaged through her bag.  "Here." She held a book out to him. 

He smiled as he took it from her.  "Did you like it?" He asked. 

"Yeah." She smiled.  "It was really good."  

"And?" He questioned, cocking his head to the side slightly. 

"And...better than the movie." She admitted with a chuckle.  

"Told ya." He winked at her.

"Yeah." She smiled.  "Well," Rachel hiked the bag's strap higher on her shoulder.  "Um, have a good weekend."  She offered. 

"Yeah, you too." He said, feeling a little disappointed.    

"I'll see you on Monday.  I'll let myself out." 

JC watched as she turned again and left the room.  He blew out a breath and leaned back against the countertop as he listened to the sound of his front door closing.  He dug his hands through his hair.  What is it about that girl? He asked himself.  Why can't I remember who she is? And why is it bothering me so much?  He turned and grabbed the glass he'd gotten down and put it under the faucet, filling it, and then took several swallows.  He put the glass and his hands on the counter as he hung his head. 

He had gone through his phone (several times) hoping there would be a ‘Rachel' in his address book.  But would you believe it?  No Rachel-several Ashley's, a couple Lindsay's, but no Rachel's.  He had gone through his schedule for the past six months running through each event he'd been to, searching his mental files for a beautiful blonde with big brown eyes, a dancer's body and a killer smile.   

Nothing. 

JC straightened and finished off his water, placing the glass in the sink and heading back to the studio.  If there was anything that could help him work out his frustrations over a girl it was his music.  JC snorted as he sat down once again at the sound board.  After all, how many hits have I been able to produce with this feeling?  Maybe that's what this album is missing-a little frustration.  He put his headphones on and began listening to the track he had been working on earlier.  As the beat started he closed his eyes and let his body move to the rhythm.  His trained ear listened for the parts that were missing-stopping, tweaking, replaying and listening over and over again until he was a little more satisfied with the song.  It's getting there. He thought.  But it's still not perfect.

When his phone vibrated in his pocket, JC pulled it out, looking up at the clock on the wall, surprised to realize he'd been working for two hours straight.  He took the headphones off.  Chase the ID on his phone said.  

"Hey man." He said, leaning back in the chair.  "What's up?" He asked his friend. 

"A couple of us are going out tonight," Chase said.  "You up for it?"

"Sure.  Yeah." JC said.  "When are you heading out?" 

"Around nine." Chase answered.  "We're going to that new club down on fifth.  Ashley and Ronnie are coming."

JC groaned.  Chase always had a girl he was trying to hook him up with.  The guy was fun to hang out with, a good friend, but when it came to matchmaking...JC sighed.  His choices often left much to be desired.  The two guys had met through their agent a few years ago.  Although there was no truth to the rumors that circulated about the two of them being a couple a few years back, Chase was someone JC enjoyed spending time with.  "How old is she?" He asked. 

"Which one?" Chase laughed. 

"Whichever one is hoping I'm going to take her home tonight."

"Ronnie?" He asked innocently.  JC rolled his eyes.  "She's legal, don't worry." Chase laughed again.

"How long has she been legal?" JC asked.  "A week?"  There was no denying he liked girls.  He liked them a lot.  But lately he'd begun to feel dissatisfied with all the women he'd met.  All the women? His conscious asked, a clear picture of Rachel wearing the simple black pants and white blouse she'd been wearing today as she stood in his kitchen popped into his mind.  He pushed the thought back.  He needed to get out tonight.  Have some fun.  Flirt.  Dance.  Have a few drinks.  Then maybe he'd be able to get over this sudden fixation he had with his interior designer.

"No." Chase answered.  "She's like twenty-four, or something.  So I think she's old enough for ya.  You need to get laid." Chase stated. 

You're telling me.  JC thought.  "Hey, listen I've got another call coming through." He lied.  "I gotta go.  I'll meet you guys there."

"Sounds good." 

JC hung up the phone then set it up on the sound board.  He turned and swiveled his chair back and forth a few times before he got up again and walked out of the studio, wandering back upstairs.  The silence of the house seemed to ring in his ears.  It was only recently he had begun to notice how quiet his life had become and it left him feeling out of sorts.  He spent most of his time now in the studio working on his music, tweaking each track until he felt it was absolutely perfect, closing himself off more and more each day.  It was almost like he was becoming a hermit but since he'd been so distracted lately he'd been spending more time out of the studio than usual and had come to realize what a lonely life he really had.  Besides his family (whom he only saw a couple times a year) and the guys from the group (whom he only saw when either they were in town or he was in Orlando) he really didn't have very many close friends that he spent his time with.  And until the new season of Dance Crew began filming again, he really didn't have anything to occupy his time besides the few songs he was working on; and that was a strange feeling for him.  It was almost as if he didn't know what to do with himself now that he had all this free time. 

He'd spent almost everyday of his life since the age of thirteen, when he'd started on MMC, keeping busy with something relating to show business.  After the Club was cancelled he and Justin had started working with Chris on getting the group started and from then until they'd decided to take a break in 2002, it had been a nonstop roller coaster ride.  After that, he had released Schizophrenic and done all the promotion for it, trying not to let Justin's almost instantaneous and crazy success make him too bitter.  But, when it became apparent that he wasn't the one in the group that was destined to be the star anymore he had given up on his solo career for the time being, instead concentrating on some of the different projects that came his way, trying to stretch himself and grow as a person and as an artist. 

As he walked back into the kitchen his eyes landed on the book he had lent Rachel and which she had returned to him earlier.  He picked it up, and thumbed through the pages till he found his favorite passage, surprised to find a small bright pink post-it note stuck to the page.  I love this part.  She had written.  He smiled as he lifted the post-it with his finger and read the passage he had underlined a few weeks ago.

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth.  You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else.  Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't.  You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. 

"A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band.  And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match." He laughs.  "Yes, you could describe life that way."

So which side wins, I ask?

"Which side wins?" 

He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins.  Love always wins."

JC snapped the book closed, a smile still on his face as he thought of Rachel.  It had been a while since he'd met a girl he could connect with on more than one level.  It was apparent (sometimes painfully so) that he was attracted to her physically, but knowing that they had a common interest in something outside of the work she was doing for him and outside of the sexual magnetism he felt towards her made her more enticing to him.  He found himself wanting to sit down and talk about the book with her. To hear her opinions and what she truly felt about what the author was trying to get across in his story.   

Most of the women he had met in his life had the IQ of a glass of water, and finding a woman he could have an intelligent conversation with was near impossible it seemed.  He was at a stage in his life now that he didn't want someone who only looked good (although looks were important, no question).  He wanted someone who was smart; someone who could challenge and stimulate him intellectually.  He was past the point of wanting a groupie.  He wanted someone real.  Someone genuine.  Someone who could look beyond the image.  Someone who didn't want him just because of who he was or what he could give her.  Someone who could accept him-flaws and all-and be proud to stand by his side.     

He shook his head at his romantic thoughts and sighed as he walked out of the kitchen.  Chase is right. He thought as he headed upstairs.  I need to get laid.          

~~~~~~~~

As JC walked into the crowded nightclub with Chase and the girls, his eyes quickly scanned the dance floor, taking in the swaying mass of bodies pulsing to the music.  Ronnie, the petite red-head Chase had pawned off on him came and stood for a moment by his side.  She left him only a few seconds later as Chase and his date, Ashley, began making their way towards an empty table.   

JC however, stood in place, his eyes locked on one body in particular on the dance floor.  He watched mesmerized as the girl moved.  Her long blonde hair hung straight down her back.  The lights flashing overhead made the skin of her shoulders glow and his mouth went dry as he watched her hips sway seductively to the beat.  Almost before he knew what he was doing, he took a step towards the girl. 

"Yo, Jace!" Chase called out.  JC jerked his head to the side, snapped from the daze he had been in.  "You gonna join us man, or what?" 

"Yeah, I'm coming." He said reluctantly, his brows furrowing as he turned.  He looked at the girl once more over his shoulder as he made his way to the table and slid into the booth besides Ronnie.  She smiled up at him and linked her arm through his, leaning her head against his shoulder.  JC fought not to roll his eyes.  She was a bit too touchy for his tastes-she'd been clinging to him since the moment she'd been introduced to him.  JC cringed as Chase said something funny and Ronnie laughed.  The girl's laugh was loud and high-pitched and it grated on his nerves.  He was tempted to feel embarrassed as a few people from the surrounding tables looked over at them.  Instead, JC just made a mental note to slap Chase upside the head the next time he got a chance, and tell him to butt the hell out of his love life.

As he pretended to keep up with the conversation going on around him, JC found his eyes kept stealing back to the blonde on the dance floor.  The jeans she wore rode low on her hips while the black halter she wore rode up high, leaving a lot of skin exposed.  He watched, fixated, hoping she would turn around so he could see what she really looked like, but just his luck-the girl stayed dancing with her back to him and the low lighting in the club made it hard to make out her features when she did turn her head.  What was it with him and blondes recently-first Rachel and now this chick?  He shook his head.  I must be going through a blonde phase right now.  He took a drink of his beer and placed his arm up on the back of the booth as he looked over at his "date".  She was cute, but he found it interesting how her looks did almost nothing for him. 

JC turned his attention once more to the dance floor and watched the way the blonde danced, her fluid and graceful movements giving away the fact that she'd had some professional dance training-several years from the looks of it.  Just as he was about to get up and forget about the group he was with and join the girl on the floor, the song ended. He watched as she made her way to a table of girls on the opposite side of the dance floor.

"Let's dance." Ronnie said beside him.

"What?" He asked looking down at her, confusion in his eyes.  She smiled up at him and he didn't miss the way she leaned forward slightly, her position and the low cut of her dress leaving little to his imagination.  JC just sighed as he took another swig of his beer.  He stood up and offered his hand to the girl, knowing he couldn't be rude. Ronnie plastered herself on him as soon as they hit the floor, grinding her body against his in a way that, he assumed, was supposed to excite him.   

I'm getting too old for this. He thought as he placed his hands on Ronnie's shoulders and pushed her back slightly.  She looked up at him with a pout and JC wondered how much longer he had to stay until it wouldn't be considered rude of him to leave.     

~~~~~~

"Okay, you will never believe who just walked in!"   

"Who?" Rachel asked the girls from work that she'd come to the club with.  Taking a drink of her Cosmo she turned and looked over the crowd.  She smiled as she looked over at the guy she'd been dancing with.  He smiled back and held up his glass to her from where he was leaning against the bar.  

"JC Chasez!" Nicole pointed across the dance floor, grinning excitedly.  "You know, the guy from N SYNC?" Rachel quickly turned back to the table and fought not to choke on her drink.  The three girls she'd come with looked at her in curiosity as she coughed a few times.  Rachel took in their excited expressions as they all stared at JC and wondered what they would think if they knew of the connection she now had with the guy. 

The four girls-Rachel, Nicole, Kim and Charlotte-had all been hired around the same time and Rachel enjoyed working with them.  They were all cute and friendly, and they were always making each other laugh about something at the office.  They had invited her to go out with them tonight and, since she was always up for a night of drinking and dancing, Rachel and quickly agreed.  The evening had been fun so far; she had danced with a couple of really hot guys, gotten a few numbers and just had fun flirting, laughing and enjoying herself.  But, as she turned once more and looked over at where JC was dancing with a short red-head in an even shorter black dress that left almost nothing to the imagination, Rachel's heart skipped and her stomach flipped. The girl he was with was cute and he looked like he was having a good time.

"Aren't you at all excited?" Nicole asked, flipping her curly brown hair over her shoulders.  "I'd heard this was the new hot spot, but I didn't actually think we'd see anyone interesting tonight."  The girl grinned, her green eyes sparkling excitedly.  "Do you think there will be paparazzi outside?"

"Yeah, funny story." Rachel laughed nervously.  "I uh...I kinda know him."    

Nicole, Kim and Charlotte all sat there staring at her like she'd sprouted a second head.   

"What?" Rachel asked, trying to appear calm as she took another drink.

"You...know him?" Kim asked, leaning towards Rachel.   

"Yeah." Rachel turned to look back at JC, her heart skipping as she watched him smiling at the girl he was dancing with.  She felt fluttery inside at seeing his gorgeous smile.  She turned back to her coworkers and watched as the three of them looked at each other in disbelief then back at Rachel.

"How do you know him?" Charlotte asked, her dark eyes moving over Rachel's shoulders to once more stare at JC.

"He's my new client." Rachel answered honestly. 

"I don't believe you." Kim spoke up after a few more seconds of silence. 

"What do you mean you don't believe me?" Rachel asked feeling annoyed.  "Why would I make something like that up?"   

"No offence, but why would Matt let you work with JC?"  Kim asked.  The other girls all leveled their eyes at Rachel, disbelief clearly written across all their faces as they waited for her answer. 

"Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are." Rachel said, taking another sip of her drink, hoping the girls didn't notice the slight shake of her hand.

"If you know him...prove it." Nicole said, raising a dark brow in challenge as she took a drink of her beer.  "I'll bet you dinner and pedicures next Friday," she pointed at Rachel, "That you can't get him to come over here and talk to us."

Rachel straightened and looked at all three girls.  "Alright." She said, putting her glass down on their table.  She turned and pulled on the hem of her top.  "Watch this." She said over her shoulder and began walking towards JC. 

Great.  This is great, Rachel. She scolded herself.  Look what you've gotten yourself into now.  You just can't resist a challenge can you? And you're not even drunk.  Where's Megan when I need her?  Rachel slowly made her way across the floor, weaving between all the people dancing, her heart picking up speed with each step she took.  It was one thing to interact with JC in a professional manner, but quite another to presume he'd want to interact with her outside of work.  He may not even want to admit he knows me. Rachel thought.  Why would he?  I'm just the lowly interior designer redecorating his house.  I'm no one important.

She glanced over her shoulders at her friends and cringed when she saw Nicole's smug smile and Kim and Charlotte's expectant faces, all three girls were watching her intently.  No chance of backing out now. She thought.  They're all just waiting for me to fall flat on my face. 

Rachel saw the girl JC had been dancing with leave and she felt her heart drop.  She expected him to follow the girl thus crushing her chance at winning the bet and proving Nicole wrong, but he stayed where he was.  Rachel was curious as she watched him glance around the club, his eyes intent and watchful, as if he were searching for someone.

Please don't blow me off, JC. She begged him silently as she approached him.  She turned around as he turned her way feeling panicky.  What am I doing? She thought.  This is crazy.  He's never going to... 

"Rachel?" 

Rachel's turned quickly and her heart literally stopped for a second as her eyes connected with JC's.  The disbelief she heard in his voice was also clearly written on his face as his eyes left hers and traveled over her body.  She felt tingly inside.  He was looking at her as if he couldn't believe his eyes.  As those disbelieving blue eyes connected once more with hers she couldn't help smiling at the amazement she read there.

He looked great.  No-better than great.  He looked downright mouthwatering.  He was dressed similarly to the way he had been that first day they'd met at his house right down to the black ball cap he wore.  He hadn't shaved again before coming tonight and Rachel found herself wanting to reach up and run her hand over the scruff covering his jaw.  She clenched her hands at her sides as she smiled up at him.

"Hey." She said.  "I thought it was you." 

"What are you doing here?" He asked his brows furrowing slightly.

"I came with some girls from work." Rachel answered turning and pointing back at her table.  She couldn't help the smug feeling she got when she saw Nicole, Kim and Charlotte all staring at her with their mouths open-the three of them clearly in shock that she was actually talking to JC.  Yeah, that's right. She thought.  In your face!  She turned back to JC with a smile.  "I don't want to take up your time," She looked over his shoulder, "I saw you dancing with someone and I know you're probably here with some friends.  I know this is a little weird, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor?" She looked at him hopefully.

"What do you need?" he asked.  His eyes ran over her body again, as if to convince himself that what he had seen earlier was in fact the truth. 

"Well, the girls I came with don't believe that we actually know each other.  I was hoping you would...come back to my table with me and help me win a bet.  It'd just be for a second." She added quickly.  "Just to say hi and prove that I'm right?"  She smiled up at him.

"What're you going win?" He asked, his mouth lifting in a grin.

"Dinner." She smiled at him.  "And pedicures."   

He held out his arm.  "After you." He said his blue eyes sparkling.  Rachel's smile grew as she turned on her heels and headed back towards her table, all the while unaware of the wide-eyed look JC was giving her because of the sudden realization that had just hit him.

~~~~~~~~~~

JC's mind and body were reeling, trying to recover from the fact that the blonde he had been admiring earlier was Rachel.  The same girl he had found himself so obsessed about recently.  He had been completely caught off guard when he had turned and seen her approaching him, the amazement evident, he was sure, in his voice and in the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off of her.  As she smiled and turned, leading him back towards her table his eyes moved over her form once again.  From her long legs and shapely behind, to the several inches of skin at her midsection that was revealed and made his mouth water, to the way her hair swayed with each step she took as if calling out to him, his fingers itching to reach out and touch her. 

JC closed his eyes, trying to gets his body's response to her under control.    It was pointless to lust after the girl.  They had a professional relationship and it had to stay that way.  As Rachel weaved around a couple dancing across the floor her hair moved with her revealing a small tattoo on the back of her right shoulder and JC almost tripped over himself; his eyes once again widening in shock.

He had once wondered what an amnesiac felt like when and if they ever regained a lost memory.  Now he knew.  It was a weird sensation as his mind suddenly recalled what had been hidden before and his body suddenly remembered (very vividly) what this girl had felt like in his arms.  He felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.  Rachel!  Of course!  Man am I blind?!  He thought.  Why didn't I see it before? I did have quite a bit to drink that night.  But still... He shook his head in disbelief.  As he continued to follow her across the floor his mind played back the night he'd first met this girl and JC wondered why he hadn't been able to make the connection earlier.

As he followed Rachel down the hall of the reception hall, the sound of the band growing fainter, JC's focus was grabbed by the small tattoo situated on the back of her right shoulder.  It looked like a couple of Chinese symbols and he was surprisingly curious as to their meaning.  Before he could ask, however, Rachel had opened a door and pulled him inside quickly.  As she shut the door behind him she had taken his shirt into her hands, pulling him towards her as she kissed him.  His own hands automatically went to her waist, drawing her against him as her soft lips massaged his own.  He couldn't help the moan that escaped as she flattened her palms against his stomach, her hands and fingers exploring his body through the material of his shirt.

JC broke the contact between them only long enough to turn and switch their positions as he expertly guided her back against the wall, his lips once more claiming hers as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.  He lifted his hands, unable to keep from touching her.  The softness of her skin captivated him and he stroked his thumbs over her cheeks as he kissed her deeply and kept her pressed between himself and the wall.

He pulled back slightly when she whimpered, giving them both a chance to breathe and asked, "What does it mean?"

"What does what mean?" Rachel asked breathing heavily.  Confusion showed on her face, her beautiful brown eyes looked up at him, causing his knees to feel surprisingly weak.  He'd always been an eye guy-that was usually the first thing he noticed about a girl-and Rachel's eyes were some of the most beautiful and captivating he'd ever seen.  

"Your tattoo." He clarified, leaning towards her and placing a soft kiss on the corner of her jaw. 

"Lucky." She answered her voice low and breathy and making him smile.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head back silently giving him permission to continue kissing down her neck and throat.

"And are you?" He straightened and asked her, looking into her eyes. 

"Extremely." She answered softly, her eyes sparkling, before she reached up to kiss him again.

"I could never get a tattoo." He said pulling back before their lips met.  It was obvious he'd had too much to drink.  He normally didn't blurt out this kind of useless information in the midst of a make-out session with a beautiful woman, but he couldn't seem to help himself. Alcohol tended to make him loose his inhibitions and he often found himself revealing useless bits of information to whomever he was around. 

Rachel groaned and dropped her hands to her sides.  She looked up at him, frustration showing in her eyes, making her all the more beautiful. 

"I'm afraid of needles." He told her.    

"I know." Rachel answered.  When he looked at her, wondering how she would know something like that about him, she giggled, her cheeks warming slightly.  "I'm a big fan." She finally answered looking up at him through her lashes.  The almost guilty expression on her face caused him to chuckle.    

JC leaned over her as he placed one hand on the wall beside her, his eyes delving into hers, searching for her true motives.  If she was such a big fan was she doing this just for the bragging rights? Was she doing this just to use him as many had in the past? 

"You're not just doing this to get to Justin are you?" He asked teasingly.  Although in actuality he wasn't teasing.  There had been more than one over the years that had only used him because of his connection to the ‘boy wonder.'  JC lifted his other hand, running his forefinger slowly along the neckline of her dress; smiling when he heard her breath catch slightly.  

Rachel smiled as she looked up at him coyly.  "Justin?" She asked as she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck once more. Her brows furrowed slightly in question.  He wrapped both arms around her waist as she placed a lingering kiss to the side of his mouth.  His eyes slid closed as the sensation of her lips on his skin made his mind go numb.  "Who's Justin?" She asked kissing the opposite corner of his lips then pulling back to look at him. 

JC opened his eyes and grinned as he reached a hand up and rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip.  "Good answer." He said, once more closing the distance between them. 

Rachel groaned again and JC decided it was pretty much the sexiest thing he'd ever heard.  She kept one arm around his neck, her other hand sliding down his chest between them, making him shiver slightly as it came to rest over his heart.  He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her away from the wall and firmly against his body.   

After awhile JC pulled back.  Rachel reached a hand up and touched his face, the look in her eyes making his fuzzy head clear a little.  She smiled up at him in wonder and one of his hands left her waist, brushing some of her dark brown hair away from her face. He smiled once more before his lips captured hers again, his fingertips gently caressing her incredibly soft skin.

As Rachel came to a stop at her table, the three girls she had pointed to moments ago staring at him in shock, JC fought not to stare at her.  But he couldn't help himself.  Her hair had been dyed that night at the wedding and he mentally kicked himself for not being able to see beyond that insignificant detail.  Rachel looked up at him expectantly, those same beautiful eyes that had been his downfall a year ago, and had managed to ensnare him once again, watched him; curiosity burning in their depths as her brows furrowed slightly at his continued silence.  JC knew he probably looked like a fool as he stood there looking at her-really seeing her for the first time-but all he wanted to do was take in her presence.   

Those minutes spent in her arms at Jackson's wedding over a year ago had been incredible and JC wanted to find out if kissing Rachel again would be as mind blowing as it had been the first time.   He had kicked himself over and over for not trying harder at convincing her to come back to his hotel with him.  Instead he had stood there like a love-struck schoolboy and let her walk away from him. 

After he had regained control of his body he had left the wedding, knowing that going back in and sitting next to her again would have been too difficult.  Difficult in the respect that he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his hands off the girl and frankly that had scared him.  Even being as intoxicated as he was JC had sensed there was something different about Rachel; something that intrigued him.  Something he wanted to explore.   But he was thirty-one-in the prime of his life-and not really looking for a deep connection with a woman.   

Oh what a difference a year could make.  

As he smiled politely and greeted the girls as Rachel introduced him.  JC kept a steady eye on her.  He now understood why he hadn't been able to recall her at any of the events he'd been to-he hadn't gone far enough back in his schedule.  He also now knew why her name wasn't in the address book on his phone.   

When he had woken up the next day in his hotel room his head pounding and his mouth feeling as dry as a desert, he had blindly reached for his phone on the bedside table.  He wanted to call her to find out how long she was in town and to see whether or not she wanted to get together again before she left.  However, as he sat up in bed, JC found his phone was missing.  He sat there, trying to remember where he had put it.  He searched his pants pockets.  He searched under the bed thinking it had just fallen down.  He called the front desk to see if someone had found it and turned it in.  He searched his car several times and even called the reception hall-all without any luck.  His phone had mysteriously disappeared and with it, any connection he had had to Rachel.  

JC had wracked his brain for days trying to remember if Jackson had ever told him Rachel's last name.  But he couldn't come up with anything.  So much for Googling her. He thought.  He knew she would never contact him.  How could she?  His personal contact information was guarded so heavily it was almost ridiculous.  When he had met with Jackson a few months later to go over some financial information JC had been tempted to ask him about Rachel, but he didn't want to come off looking foolish.  Besides, it had been almost four months.  Too much time had passed he told himself.  Calling her now would just be awkward.  JC pushed his memories of her to the back of his mind and went on with his life, all the while unaware that up until the day he became her client, Rachel was still holding out hope that he would one day call her.

~~~~~ 

"Rachel says she's your new designer." Nicole said, after shaking JC's hand.  "Is that true?"

Rachel looked over at JC, only to find him looking at her...again.  The boy hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of her since she'd walked up to him and said hi a few minutes ago.  You'd think he'd never seen a woman at a club before.  He was acting like an seventeen-year-old at his first keg party instead of the world-wise thirty-two year old he was.  What's wrong with you? She wanted to ask, but knew she couldn't.  They didn't have that kind of relationship with each other no matter how she might like to pretend otherwise with Megan.  Technically he was her boss and she knew that hoping for anything more from him at this point was ridiculous.

"Yeah." JC said, his blue eyes finally turning from her and looking at Nicole.  Rachel breathed a sigh of relief as his intense gaze released her.  It was very unnerving having him look at her like that.  It was a look that made her stomach flip excitedly while kind of made her want to throw up at the same time.  "She's helping me redo my house.  I think that qualifies her as winning the bet, am I right?" He asked with a smile. 

Rachel fought the smug feeling coursing through her at Nicole's stunned expression.  She raised her glass in salute to the girl as she quickly downed the rest of her drink. 

"Rachel?" JC turned back to her.

"Yeah?" She looked up at him, her heart pounding as that look was once more on his face.  She knew he was going to ask her to dance and she didn't know if her heart could take being that close to him again.  What is it with the two of us dancing when we're drunk? She wondered.  Although...if dancing with him leads to another make-out session like last time I'm in!  She smiled as she imagined kissing JC again.   

"Do you--" 

"Hey, baby." A masculine voice behind her interrupted JC.  Rachel turned, ready to bawl this new guy out for calling her ‘baby', but stopped when she saw the guy standing behind her.  She felt one brow rise as she took in his appearance.  He was tall, with blonde hair and green eyes.  He was muscular and the tight white shirt he wore worked well to show off his abs and Pecs.  "If I told you, you had a great body would you hold it against me?" He flashed a mischievous grin at her and Rachel couldn't help laughing at the cheesy pick up line. 

JC snorted beside her as he folded his arms across his chest.  Rachel looked over at him, taking in his hostile body language and the cold look he was giving this guy.  JC's eyes narrowed and he took a small step forward-almost as if he were trying to stake his claim on her.  Rachel couldn't help laughing again.  Yeah, cuz that's going to happen.  She thought.  She needed to get over this infatuation she had with JC and this guy seemed to be just what the doctor had ordered.  Rachel stepped forward and placed her hand on the new guy's arm.   

"Let's go, hot stuff." She said. 

"David." He replied. 

"David." Rachel repeated with a smile.  "Wait." She said, turning back to JC.  "What were you going to say?" 

"Huh?" He asked, looking at her in confusion.   

"Were you going to ask me something?" She asked.

"Oh." He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.  "No.  It was..nothing.  Nevermind."  

Rachel looked at him for a moment, looking into his eyes.  "Alright." She smiled.  "I'll see you on Monday, JC." She said as David turned, taking both of her hands in his and began moving with her across the dance floor.  Rachel danced with David for several songs trying to make her mind forget the recent exchange with JC.  What was he going to ask me? She silently wondered.  Rachel succeeded, for a little while, in pushing him from her thoughts, but soon found her eyes roaming the club, searching for a familiar black ball cap.  She stopped dancing, her spirits falling as she watched him leave the club, the short red-head he'd been dancing with earlier on his arm.  She's not even his type. Rachel thought.  Why does she get to leave with him?  It should be... She tried not to finish her thought but it came anyway.  Me.  It should be me.  Damn it, JC!  Why don't you remember me? Was I really that forgettable?  She knew he had probably kissed hundreds of girls, but the fact that they could share something that intense and a year later come to find out he had no recollection of the event whatsoever wasn't doing much for Rachel's self-confidence at the moment. 

David grabbed her arm, spinning her around and pulling her against him once more.  Rachel looked up at the guy.  "I'm sorry." She said.  "I have to go." 

"Wait.  Come on, baby." He plead 

"Don't call me baby." Rachel replied somewhat hostile, slipping from his arms.  Nicole, Kim and Charlotte had apparently all found dance partners, because the three of them were gone when Rachel got back to the table.  Looking around to see if she could spot any of them, Rachel finally gave up.  Making her way to the front she retrieved her purse from the coat check-in and stepped out into the cooler night air.  Taking a few deep breaths she slowly made her way across the parking lot to her little Volkswagen.  Normally, by this time on a Friday night she'd be plastered-unable to think clearly, much less drive.  But, since moving to L.A. and losing her live-in designated driver (a.k.a. Megan) Rachel had become a more responsible drinker.  She still liked to party and have a good time, but knew what her limits were and since she had driven herself tonight her limit was one.   

As she slipped behind the wheel and left the parking lot, Rachel reached for the radio turning it to one of the local dance stations.  She couldn't help laughing and shaking her head as the familiar notes of N SYNC's "Bye, Bye, Bye" filled her car.  I think this is my theme song.  Why am I always walking away from him? Rachel chuckled at the irony as she reached for her phone and flipped it open, intent on calling her best friend-until she realized what time it was.  Rachel had never despised the hour difference between Los Angeles and Phoenix more.  Megan was already asleep and would kill her if she called right now, just to whine and complain about the fact that JC had left the club with the girl he'd come in with. 

I wonder what he was going to ask me.  Rachel thought as the song continued and JC's voice filled her car.  She reached to turn the radio off as her heart suddenly felt heavy.  She just couldn't handle listening to this song right now.  As her car became quiet Rachel's thoughts inevitably returned to the scene earlier with JC. 

"I bet he was probably just going to ask me something about the house." She murmured quietly.   

What if he asked you to dance? Her conscious asked. Would you have? 

"Uh...yeah!" She answered out loud and then rolled her eyes. 

What if that led to him asking you to go home with him again? 

"What if?"  She'd definitely gone off the deep end-having a conversation with herself about whether or not she would have slept with JC Chasez if he had asked her to go home with him again.   

Would you have gone?  Or would you have chickened out...like last time?   

Rachel sighed.  "This is ridiculous." She grumbled.  

He probably wasn't even going to ask me that.  Like I said, it was probably just something about the house.  Besides, he was with that red-head.  And he's JC Chasez!   

"Ahhhh!" She screamed out.  "Why?  Why?  Why?" She groaned.  "Why do I have this hang up over him?"  Rachel sighed.  "And why don't Megan and I live in the same time zone?"  

"Alright, Kristen, what happened in celebrity gossip over the weekend?"

"You know, surprisingly, it was a pretty quiet weekend, Rob."

"No DUIs or starlets entering rehab?" Rob asked, sounding shocked.

"Nope." Kristen laughed.  "The only thing I've got is a picture of Chase Crawford and JC Chasez at The Vortex Friday night."

"Oh, here we go again." Paul joked.  "We all know they're together.  Why don't they just come out and let us get on with our lives?"

"They weren't alone though." Kristen interjected.  "They had a couple girls with them and JC was photographed leaving soon after they got there with one of them.  Seems they had a great time together and wanted to finish the night with a party for two, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, I think we all know what--"

Rachel rolled her eyes as she reached over and turned the radio in her car off as she turned onto JC's street Monday morning.  She looked at her watch.  8:15.  She'd told Tony she'd meet him at eight, but traffic had been insane this morning.  After almost rear ending a little orange pickup truck, swerving to avoid being hit by a large black SUV, and having to listen to the latest celebrity gossip, Rachel had a feeling it was going to be one of those days.  She found herself wishing she could just go back to bed and start it over.  Actually, she thought.  Let's just fast forward to Friday.  Can we do that instead?

As she pulled into JC's driveway, the large wrought iron gate was open and she could see a couple of big black trucks parked in the driveway.  Pulling to a stop beside one of the trucks Rachel got out of her car.  She felt conflicted as she made her way to the front door.  After watching JC leave the club Friday night with the girl he'd been dancing with, Rachel had found herself dreading Monday morning.  She didn't want to deal with the potential awkwardness of seeing him again after running into him at the club.

She was confused.

She was confused and she was frustrated. 

After having to deal with the fact that she was now working for JC Chasez-the boy she'd lusted after and dreamed about since she was fifteen-she had had to deal with crushing disappointment that he didn't know who she was or remember what they had shared.  She had had to pretend that the fact that he had been staring at her the entire time he was with her at the club didn't bother her.  Then there was the whole alpha-male ‘this-is-my-woman-so-back-off' stance he'd taken when David had asked her to dance.  And the fact that she knew-she knew-he was going to ask her something and then he had chickened out...

She was confused. 

She didn't know what was going on and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to act around him anymore.  It was getting easier-spending time with him.  She still found herself in awe over being in his presence, and every now and then she would get a rush of butterflies when she thought about the fact that she was actually getting paid to spend time with him.  But she had glimpsed a different side of him as she'd been reading Tuesdays with Morrie and Rachel found herself intrigued.  There had been several passages that had been underlined in the book-each one giving Rachel a further insight into the guy.  She had thoroughly enjoyed the book, had cried at the end when Morrie finally died, and had made a resolution to herself to take some of the advise given and apply it into her own life. 

Find the perfection in an average day. 

That had been the theme of the book and one that Rachel found herself wanting to adopt.  She had spent years of her life partying and having fun, living for today.  She'd gotten in trouble because of that lifestyle a few times and life had taken some sudden detours.  At almost twenty-seven, Rachel was finally realizing now was the time to make what she wanted out of her life.  She didn't want to look back with anymore regrets than she already had. 

Rachel knocked on the door and raised the dark glasses she'd been wearing, setting them atop her head.  Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she heard someone approach the door and she wondered what he would be wearing today.  She smiled as the door opened, but her spirits quickly dropped and Rachel had to force her shoulders not to visibly slump as Sarah stood in the doorway, a friendly smile on her beautiful face.

"Good morning." She said, stepping back.  "Come on in."

"Thanks." Rachel said, stepping into the house. 

"The contractor and his guys just got here." Sarah said closing the door and walking towards the front room. 

"Thanks." Rachel said again, feeling like a broken record.  But what else was there to say?  Where's JC? Sure she wanted to ask, but she didn't.  After all, she was here to work on his house, not to spend her time with him.  Rachel smiled at Sarah as she walked into the front room.  Tony had two of his guys pushing the couches into the center of the room and covering all the furniture with drop clothes.  Plastic has been laid out on the carpet to try and protect it as much as possible.  "I don't see JC, so..." Rachel pulled a couple cards from her purse.  "Can you give these to him?" 

"Sure." Sarah said, taking the paint samples from Rachel.  "Oh, by the way." She said.  Rachel turned to look at her.  "MTV called me the other day.  They found out Jace was doing this remodel and they want to feature him on Cribs when it's done." 

Rachel's eyebrows shot up.  Oh good.  She thought sarcastically.  No pressure.

"Isn't that great?" Sarah asked excitedly.

"Yeah." Rachel responded with a smile.  "Yeah, that's great." And it was.  That kind of exposure for her firm was fantastic.  But this was the first real job Rachel had had since graduating.  Sure, she'd worked with a few of the senior designers on a couple other projects since being hired, but this was the first one she was doing solo.  What if it didn't turn out the way she was imagining?  What if JC hated everything she'd done?  What if...

"Jace was excited." Sarah said with a smile as she watched Rachel closely.

And where is Mr. Excitement? Rachel wondered again as she forced a smile to her face. 

"They want to come the beginning of the year."  She informed Rachel.  "It's going to be done, right?" She asked.

"Uh..." Rachel hedged.  She watched as one of the guys on Tony's crew picked up a sledgehammer and began knocking a hole in the wall.

"Is he supposed to be doing that?" Sarah asked as he swung the hammer again.

"Yeah." Rachel drawled as she looked over at the girl.  How else do you knock down a wall? She wanted to ask, but bit her tongue.  Sarah had been nothing but friendly to her.  She'd done nothing to deserve Rachel's attitude.

"Hmmm." Sarah hummed as she watched the guy swing again, then she turned back to Rachel.  "So, how long do you think this whole thing is going to take?" Sarah asked.

"Well, that depends on JC." Rachel answered. 

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked.  "You're the designer, aren't you?" She looked at Rachel in confusion.

"Yeah," Rachel drawled.  This girl is kind of dense.  She thought.  How is she the ‘most organized assistant' he's ever had?  "I'm the designer, but JC is the homeowner and he's the one who told me he wanted to do this project room by room instead of all at once. That's going to make it take longer than it normally would.  If MTV's in a time crunch, you're going to have to talk to him about that." Rachel said.  "I explained to him that doing it this way was going to drag it out but he was very insistent on doing it this way."

"Okay," Sarah said.  "I'll see if I can talk to him.  Maybe he'll--" The phone on her hip rang and she held a finger up at Rachel.  "Hello?" She answered the call.  "Hello!" She exclaimed excitedly.  "Oh, I know!" She giggled and Rachel fought the irritation she felt rising as Sarah turned. 

Why am I here?  Rachel watched Sarah walk down the hall, still talking on the phone, then turned back to watch the guys busy tearing down the wall.  There was absolutely no reason for her to be here.  This is ridiculous.  She rolled her eyes.  The only reason she'd come was because JC had told her he wanted her to be here and where was he?  No frickin' idea!

"Tony?" Rachel called out above the noise of the demolition going on.

"Yeah?" Tony turned around.

"You guys alright here?"

"Yeah, we're good."

"If you need me, you got my number, right?" She asked, running her fingers through her hair.

"Yeah, I got it." He smiled and waved at her as he went back to work.

"Okay." Rachel turned.  "I'll talk to you later then."  Rachel turned and walked back to the front door.  Looking over her shoulder once more-hoping for a glimpse of JC-Rachel blew out a frustrated breath and angrily jerked the door open.  Shutting it she stalked to her car and got in. 

"Aargh!" She gripped the steering wheel as she released some of her irritation.  She picked up her phone and pressed the speed dial for Megan.  She put in her ear piece and waited for Megan to pick up as she backed up and pulled out of JC's driveway.

"Hey." Megan answered cheerfully, which just irritated Rachel more.

"Why are boys so dumb?" Rachel growled.  "I mean honestly!  He has got to be the most irritatingly, frustrating man I have ever met!  I don't know what to think.  One minute he's staring at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and making my heart skip, and the next he's off dancing with some other girl.  One minute he's acting the part of the protective boyfriend and the next he's taking some slut home.  And does he even remember the fact that we've made out?" She chuckled bitterly.  "No!  Of course not!  Why would he?  After all, he was drunk and I'm no one special.  Just another girl.  And then," Rachel was fuming.  "Then, when he's asked me to come over to his house-even when there's no reason for me to be there-is he there?  No!  He's not even there!  Aargh!  I...Oohh!!" Rachel gripped the steering wheel tightly.  "Why?" She asked.  "Why, why, why?"

"Why, what?" Megan asked quietly on the other end of the line.

"Why did I drive all the way over here this morning and why did he ask me to come over if he knew he wasn't going to be there?  Does he just expect me to sit there and be at his beck and call all day long?  I have other things to do, you know.  My professional life does not revolve around him."

"Maybe something came up." Megan said calmly.

Rachel snorted and rolled her eyes.  "‘Something came up.'  Likely excuse."

"Well--" Megan started.

"I'm just so frustrated!" Rachel interrupted her.

"What are you frustrated about?" Megan asked.  "Nothing happened."

"Exactly!" Rachel shouted.  "Nothing's happened!"  She was quiet for a minute as she pulled to a stop at a red light.  "Why doesn't he remember me, Megan?" Rachel asked quietly, her anger diminishing some. 

"I don't know, sweetie." 

"I just..." Rachel fought back the tears she felt coming.  She refused to cry.  It was pointless-crying over a guy, especially one who didn't know who she was.  She hadn't cried over a guy in almost four years and she wasn't about to start now.  "I just don't understand why he doesn't remember me.  Was I reading him completely wrong?"  She asked.  "I thought he was really in to me that night.  We seemed to have this connection going on and then...nothing.  Not a call, not a text, not anything."

"Boys are dumb." Megan supplied quietly.

"You can say that again." Rachel grumbled.

"Boys are dumb." Megan repeated.  Rachel chuckled.  "Listen," Megan said.  "I can tell you're PMSing right now-which always makes the things guys do seem all the more frustrating-but you just need to remember that he's a boy.  Therefore he's going to be an idiot some of the time.  It's something that's hardwired into them I think.  Even Jackson can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes and I find myself wondering why I ever married him." Megan sighed.  "But then, he'll go and do something that totally blows me away and I remember why I love him and why I'm willing to put up with him.  It's the little things you have to watch for.  The way he looks at you from across the room, the way he smiles whenever you're around, the way he remembers your favorite flower or when he lets you listen to your favorite music in the car even though it drives him crazy."

"I don't think listening to my favorite music with JC in the car would go over so well." Rachel replied dryly. 

Megan laughed.  "Yeah, probably not.  But do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah.  The little things."

"The little things." Megan repeated.  "He may not remember you from before, but from what you've told me I think he's finding it hard to get you out of his head now.  Maybe he's scared."

"JC Chasez, scared?" Rachel asked in disbelief as she pulled into the parking lot of her office building.  "Of me?"

"Yes of you." Megan replied. 

"Why would he be scared of me?" Rachel asked. 

"Why is any guy scared of a woman?" Megan asked.  "Sometimes they're scared of the commitment that comes along with a relationship.  Sometimes they're scared of getting hurt-and we both know JC's been hurt in the past.  How many songs has he written about a girl cheating on him or someone just using him for his fame?  You don't write songs like that without some kind of personal experience with those types of situations."

"He's playing with me." Rachel said, still feeling frustrated at the whole situation.   "He's throwing all these conflicting signals and I'm just so damn confused I don't know what to think anymore.  One minute he's flirting and looking at me like he wants to jump me, and the next he's completely ignoring me.  I just don't know how much more I can take."

"I think you're worrying about this whole thing way too much." Megan said.  "It's not like you guys are dating or anything.  Just...go with the flow."

"Remember how I am not the kind of person who just goes with the flow?"
  

"Well..." Megan answered with a laugh, "Things can change."

"I am not a jelly fish, Megan." Rachel replied.  "I do not ‘go with the flow.'  I overanalyze situations until I'm so confused I'm not sure which way is up.  I stress out about things to the point where I want to throw up.  I--"

"I know what you do." Megan interrupted, laughing again.  "Believe me." Rachel could hear Megan roll her eyes.  "I know.  Take a deep breath, then put on your big girl panties and get over it!  So he's playing you?  Do I need to remind you that you're a pretty good player yourself?  If he wants to play show him what he's up against.  Don't just stand there, dish it back to him."

"But he's JC Chasez!" Rachel put her head back on her seat. 

"So?" Megan replied.  "Just because he's a celebrity you're going to roll over and play dead?  Like I said, show him what he's up against.  You play him and before he knows it he'll be caught and he won't want to get out."

Rachel laughed.  "I like the sound of that."

"I thought you might." Megan chuckled.

"You're right." Rachel said.

"Of course I am." Megan responded quickly.  "So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to show him what he's up against."

"Right!"

Rachel sighed as she finally got out of her car.  "So guess what I found out while I was over at his house this morning?"

"What?"

"MTV wants to do a Cribs episode of the house once it's done."

"No way!" Megan responded excitedly.  "Really?!"

"Yep." Rachel smiled. 

"Ray, that's awesome!"

"Yeah, no pressure or anything." Rachel chuckled as she voiced the thoughts she'd had earlier.  As she walked into the lobby of her building and past the reception desk Aubrey held a note out towards her.  "I don't know Megan." Rachel said as she took the note, smiling at Aubrey as she continued walking towards her desk.  "What if things turn out horribly?"

"With JC or the house?" Megan asked.

"With the house." Rachel clarified.   "And with JC." She added under her breath, making Megan chuckle.  "What if he doesn't like what I've done when it's all finished?" Rachel asked.

"What if?" Megan asked.  Rachel looked at the note Aubrey had handed her and groaned.  "What is it?" Megan asked.

"I've gotta go." Rachel answered as she sat down in her chair and set her purse on the floor at her feet.  "This day is just...Do you ever wish sometimes you could just go back in time and start a day over?"

"All the time." Megan answered.  "But usually I don't want to go back in time.  If given the choice I would opt to just skip ahead."

"That would be nice." Rachel replied.  "Bridezilla has already called four times this morning and it's not even ten yet.  I've got to call her back before she really starts freaking out."

"Ooh, good luck with that." Megan supplied.

"Thanks." Rachel rolled her eyes.  "This girl is driving me insane.  She's almost as irritating and frustrating as...he is." Rachel had stopped herself from saying his name out loud, not sure who may be listening.

Megan chuckled.  "I'll talk to you later." She said.

"Yeah.  Have a good day."

"Yeah, right." Rachel replied sarcastically.

"Bye." Megan hung up with a laugh.

Rachel flipped her phone closed and rolled her shoulders a few times before picking up her desk phone.  "I hate Mondays." She grumbled as she dialed.

Twenty minutes later Rachel felt like she was going to either collapse and burst into a flood of frustrated tears or pull out her hair as she ran screaming from the building.  She had been successful in convincing Lucy (a.k.a. Bridezilla) that having live swans at the wedding wasn't a good idea, but she'd had no luck in keeping her from changing her colors for the third time.  Rachel felt like screaming as she wadded up the designs she'd drawn up last week.  With the colors being changed, everything had to be redone.  Again.  I'm an interior designer. Rachel thought.  Not a damn wedding planner!  I'm not getting paid enough to deal with this chick. Just because she's Mr. Richard's granddaughter doesn't give her the right to be such a bitch.  Rachel leaned her elbows up on her desk and put her head in her hands. If I have to redo this backyard one more time I'm going to...

The ringing of her phone cut her off.  Closing her eyes Rachel took a deep breath and reached for the receiver.  "Adams & Richards Designs, Rachel Kline speaking." She answered, forcing a smile.

"Hey, Rachel, this is JC."

Rachel's heart thumped and she almost dropped the phone.  So that's what it sounds like.  She thought.  After all these years she now knew what his voice sounded like over the phone...and it was just as sexy as she'd always imagined.  She shook her head.  Stop it!  She scolded herself.  You are not going to get all sappy about this.  He's an idiot, remember?

"Rachel?" He asked as she remained quiet.  "Hello?"

"Y-yeah." She cleared her throat.  "Yeah I'm here.  Sorry."  She tried to slip back into professional mode.  If she could remain cool and levelheaded while Lucy went on and on about how green was "so last season" and gush about how her future mother-in-law had given her an antique turquoise necklace to wear-thus making it absolutely necessary to change all the decorations to match-Rachel could certainly pull it together enough to talk to JC over the phone.

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"Where are you?"

"I'm sorry?" Rachel asked, confused.  Why does he suddenly care where I am? 

"I was just wondering where you were."

"I'm at work, JC."  Obviously.  "That's why I'm talking to you right now on the phone."

"I realize you're at work." He replied.  "I'm just wondering why you're not over here.  At my house.  Like you said you would be."

"I was there." Rachel said.  "I came over first thing this morning.  Tony and the guys had things under control, so I left.  Until they're done there's no reason for me to be over there."

"Oh." He was quiet for a few seconds.

Oh? Rachel thought, completely disregarding the slightly disappointed tone of his voice.  Oh? That's all you've got to say? She could feel her irritation rising again.  She needed to get him off the phone before she said something to him that she might regret.  She closed her eyes and counted to five.  "Tony and his guys should be done by the end of the week.  I left some paint samples with Sarah for you to look at.  As soon as you decide what color you want I can get the painters out there, at which point you and I can get together and talk about furniture."

"Alright." He said. "Sorry to bother you."

"You're not a bother." She told him honestly.  She was about to apologize for giving him that impression when a call came through on her second line.  Please don't be Lucy.  She prayed.  "Listen, I've got another call coming through, so..."

"Alright.  Um...I'll look at the samples and give you a call." He said.

"Okay." Rachel replied.  "Have a good day." She offered, trying to cover the fact that she'd been kind of a bitch to him over the phone and was suddenly felt guilty about it.  So he hadn't been at the house this morning?  He was a busy guy.  He had his own life.  Megan was probably right.  Something had come up and he had ended up having to leave.   

"You too." He said.

"Thanks.  If you have any questions about the colors I left give me a call.  Otherwise I'll talk to you later." Rachel said then hung up with JC and answered her other line.  As Lucy's voice came over the line Rachel put her head down on her desk and wished she'd just let the call go to her voicemail.  She glanced up at the clock sitting on her desk and groaned when she realized it was only ten-thirty.  This is going to be the longest day of my life.  She said as her eye started twitching.  Please, kill me know.

~~~~~

JC flipped his cell phone closed and sat on the couch looking at the small device.  The silence of the house was almost deafening since Tony and his guys had gone to lunch a while ago.  He furrowed his brows as he thought back over the conversation he'd just had.  Rachel was mad for some reason.  She hadn't come out and said anything, but the tone of her voice and the clipped way she'd been speaking to him gave her away.  Why was she mad?  Was she mad at him?  What had he done?  Sarah walked past him on her way to the kitchen and he called out to her.

"What do you need?" She asked, stopping and facing him.

"Did you talk to Rachel this morning?" He asked.

"Yeah, she came by earlier, but she didn't stick around for very long.  She left these for you." She held out a few paint sample cards.

"Was she upset over something when she left?" JC asked, taking the cards from Sarah, trying to figure out where Rachel's irritation could have come from.

"No." Sarah shook her head.  "But I only talked to her for a few seconds.  I told her about MTV wanting to come and then I got a phone call and went into the other room.  When I came back, she was gone.  Why?" She asked, noting his concerned expression.

"Just curious." He replied, his brows furrowing in thought.  "Thanks."

"Sure."  She turned and started to leave, but turned when she remembered something.  "Oh, about MTV." Sarah said.  JC looked up at her, watching as she pulled something up on the PDA in her hand.  "They want to come in January."

"Okay." JC shrugged his shoulders.  "Whatever."

"I asked Rachel when she thought the house was going to be done and she said it was up to you.  She said you were the one that decided to drag it out longer than necessary."

"I don't want my entire house torn apart and out of commission for who knows how long." He answered.  "That would drive me crazy and you know it.  I'd like to retain some of what sanity I have left.  Sue me."

"No need to get snippy." Sarah replied.  "I'm just saying: If we want to do this show you can't do anything that's going to drag this out any longer than it already is."

"I'll try." He replied noncommittally as he put his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

"It's days like this I don't know why I put up with you." Sarah grumbled good naturedly as she turned and left the room.

"It's because you love me!" JC yelled out as she disappeared down the hall.  He heard her chuckle and couldn't help smiling. 

He had hired Sarah four years ago when his previous assistant, Natalie, had decided to get married and move across the country.  She was smart and efficient and one of the few that put up with his attitude.  He'd been worried when Natalie left, that he'd have to go through several others before finding another good one, but Sarah had been great from day one.  A year ago, she had told him she was getting married but, since she'd married one of the guys that were one of his regular bodyguards, JC wasn't worried about her leaving anytime soon.

The sounds of Tony and his guys continuing the demolition of his front room drew JC's mind back to his original thoughts: Rachel and her apparent irritation with him.  He couldn't figure her out.  After seeing her at the club on Friday night, remembering who she was (finally) and the connection he had with her, he had found it hard to leave her and going back to his table.  He watched her dancing with the guy who'd asked her for as long as he could before getting up and leaving-kicking himself for not asking her first.  Chase didn't seem to care, too preoccupied with his date, but unfortunately, Ronnie had taken it upon herself to leave with him.  She had draped herself on his arm and smiled for the photographers that had planted themselves outside the club.  She couldn't keep her hands off him and had made sure the paparazzi got a shot of her kissing him.  JC had put her in a cab as quickly as he could and prayed Chase hadn't given the girl his number, and had gone home with the intent of doing nothing but sleeping for the next twelve hours.  If there was something he couldn't get enough of, besides music, it was sleep. 

Life, however, had different plans.

~~~~~~

Too early on Saturday morning his phone had rung and JC had been woken up.  He groaned and rubbed his eyes as he reached for the handset on the bedside table.

"Yeah?" He'd answered, his voice low and rough from still being half asleep.

"I thought you'd sworn off red-heads after Bobbi." Joey's laughter made JC smile.

"Man, why are you calling me so early?" He rolled over onto his back as he rubbed his eyes.

"It's almost noon, C!  Time to get up."

"Why should I?"

"Cuz I'm in town for the next forty-eight hours and we're gonna par-tay, that's why!"

JC laughed.  "Why are you in town?" He asked, bending one arm behind his head as he stared up at his ceiling.

"Does it matter?" Joey asked.

"Are Kelly and Bri with you?" JC asked in reference to Joey's family.

"If they were, would we be going out?" Joey responded with a laugh.

"I don't think Kelly really knew what she was getting into when she hooked up with you."

"Ah," Joey replied and JC could picture the guy shrugging.  "She knows I love her.  What does it matter where I play as long as I go home to her?"

"Where you at?" JC asked.

"Some lame ass photo shoot.  Come save me."

JC laughed.  "Alright.  What studio?" He pushed the blankets away as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of his bed.  He got direction and promised to be there in an hour.

"An hour!?" Joey laughed.  "It's just me, C!  No need to primp that pretty ass of yours for that long."

"Shut up." JC laughed.  "I just woke up and it's going to take me a few minutes to get across town.  I'll see you in an hour."

"Alright.  Later, man."

"See ya." JC answered, hanging up the phone.  He yawned as he stretched his arms above his head then, peeling off the black T-shirt he'd slept in, he tossed it across the room as he made his way to the bathroom.  An hour later, as promised, he pulled his Mercedes to a stop outside the photo studio where Joey was and went inside, trying to ignore the paparazzi that were milling around. 

Sometimes he hated his life.  Most days he didn't even think twice about it, but every once in a while he found himself wishing he wasn't who he was.  It would be nice to be able to go to the grocery store without the entire contents of his shopping cart being broadcast to the entire world, or to be able to meet up with an old friend without everyone and their dog coming along for the ride.

As the two guys left the studio together the cameras followed them as they got into JC's car and drove off.  They spent the rest of the day trying to avoid the paparazzi as they caught up and hung out.  After a few hours they gave up and just went back to JC's house.  Joey called home late that afternoon and JC was surprised, but happy when Joey had handed him the phone, telling him Brianna wanted to talk to "Uncle C."

"Hey, Bri." JC said, smiling.  He had a soft spot for the little girl.  Neither of his siblings had kids yet and Joey was the only guy in the group to have a family, so by default Brianna had become, to him and the other guys in the group, like a niece.  Chris and Justin adored the munchkin and Joey had asked Lance to be Brianna's godfather when she'd been born.  JC laughed as Brianna chattered on and on about her teachers, what she was learning at school, and her friends.

"I think you've talked enough, baby." Kelly said, taking the phone away from her daughter.  "Go get ready for bed."

"Hey, Kelly." JC smiled.

"Hi, Jace.  How are you?" She asked, as smile in her voice.

"I'm doing okay.  How are you?  Long time no see."

"I know.  We're doing good.  Bri and I would have come out there with Joe this weekend, but my brother and his wife just had another baby and my grandparents are staying here at the house with us right now."

"Well, hopefully I'll be able to get back to Orlando soon." JC said.

"You better.  Bri misses you."

"Give her a hug for me."

"I will." Kelly assured him.  "Is Joey around?"

"Yeah, he's right here.  I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Jace." Kelly said.  JC handed the phone to Joey, who had walked back into the room, then got up and went into the kitchen to give him some privacy.  Pulling a couple beers from the fridge JC popped the caps off the bottles and walked back into the great room.  He handed one to Joey then pointed outside, letting his friend know he'd be out on the deck.  Joey nodded as he continued talking to his wife.

As he walked outside and sat down on one of the deck chairs, JC found himself wishing he had someone like Kelly he could call at the end of the day.  Someone he knew would always be there to listen to him, and didn't want anything from him other than the love he was willing to give her.  He took a swig of his beer as he looked out at the city lights, contemplating his life and some of the recent events that had taken place.  He lost track of the time until Joey came and sat down beside him.

"Did Johnny call you?" Joey asked.

"Yeah." JC nodded, raising his beer to his lips.  "Last week."

"And?" Joey asked, stretching his legs out in front of him.

JC sighed.  "I don't know, Joe."  He said as he began picking at the label on his beer bottle.  "It's not going to be like it was."

"Do you really want it to be?" Joey asked looking over at him with a curious brow raised.

"No." JC shook his head.  "No.  But I don't want it to be a disappointment either.  For us or the fans."

"Kelly doesn't think it'll fly right now."

"Why not?" JC asked, honestly interested in what her opinion was.  Kelly had been there for most of the hysteria that had surrounded Joey, JC and the rest of the guys.  She knew them all.  She knew what they had been before and what they'd become.

"Justin." Joey chuckled.

JC rolled his eyes as he nodded.  "Yeah, Justin." He repeated. 

"You still bitter, C?" Joey asked, finishing off his beer.

"No." JC smiled as he shook his head.  "I love the guy.  I'm proud of his success.  I'll admit I'm a bit jealous, but I'm not bitter."

"How's Kate coming?" Joey asked.

"It's not." JC answered.  "I don't know what the problem is, but it's just not working for me right now." Both men were quiet for a few minutes.

"I heard you talking to Kelly." Joey said.  "When do you think you're coming out to Orlando?"

"I don't know." JC answered.  "I'm going home next month for a couple days.  Maybe I can make it out there for Halloween."

"That'd be awesome!" Joey smiled.  "Chris always has that huge Halloween party and Lance said he was going to come this year."

JC chuckled.  "If we can talk Justin into making an appearance that'd almost be the reunion Johnny wants."

"Yeah, almost." Joey laughed.  "It'd sure get the press talking, that's for sure.  ‘N SYNC, are they back together?'" He lowered his voice to imitate a radio announcer.   

JC laughed.  "I think Justin would come just for that reason-to start a few rumors."

"Too bad it's not April." Joey said.  "That'd be one hell of an April Fool's joke."

"I don't think the fans would ever forgive us." JC continued laughing.

"Maybe.  Maybe not." Joey shrugged.  "But it'd be damn funny!"

~~~~~~

"Jace?" Sarah called out, bringing him back to reality. 

"Yeah?" JC watched as she walked towards him.

"I'm going to go get something for lunch.  Do you want anything?"

"Nah.  I ate with Joey before he left." He answered. 

"Alright.  I'll be back in a little while."

"Alright, see ya." He answered.  He watched as she turned and left then looked down at the sample cards still in his hands.  Koi Pond? Willow Tree? Peaceful Leaf? Tropical Foliage?  He read the names of the colors he was looking at and wanted to laugh.  How in the world was he supposed to choose?  They all looked the same to him.  He closed his eyes and groaned.  Here comes the part where I start pulling my hair out. He thought.  It's only the first day and I'm wishing it were over.  Well...not really.  If it were over that would mean he wouldn't be able to see Rachel anymore.  Thinking of Rachel again, JC wondered once more about what she had been upset over.  She's a girl.  He finally concluded, standing up and making his way into the kitchen.  They're always upset about something silly.  He left the sample cards on the counter as he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and made his way downstairs.  He hadn't been able to work on his music this weekend, with Joey in town and spending a couple hours in the studio would help him get his mind off the mess going on upstairs and hopefully a certain blond haired, brown eyed interior designer that he couldn't seem to get out of his head. 

"Good afternoon." The girl behind the counter smiled at him as he walked towards her.

"Hi." He said, taking off his sunglasses and smiling at her.  She stopped working on whatever it was she had been doing on her computer as he tucked his glasses in the collar of his shirt and leaned against the top of the desk.  She was a cute girl-her light brown hair hung straight around her shoulders, her blue eyes were friendly-but he'd be surprised if she were any older than eighteen.

"What can I help you with?" She asked cheerfully.

"Is Rachel Kline in?" He asked.

The girl's brows furrowed as her eyes moved back to her computer screen and she clicked her mouse a few times.  "She's not back from lunch yet, but let me just make sure she doesn't have an afternoon appointment out somewhere." 

"Thanks." He said.

The girl smiled at him. "Well, she doesn't have anything on her calendar.  Did you have an appointment with her?"

"No." JC said.  "I just have some paperwork I need to give her."

"If you want, I can just take it and give it to her." She held a hand out to him.

He held the papers back from her.  "I was actually hoping to talk to her." JC said.  "Is she going to be back soon do you think?"

"She should be back any minute."

"Do you mind if I just wait for her?" He asked, gesturing to the chairs grouped by the front doors.

"Not at all." She smiled.

"Thanks." He said as he turned and walked away from the desk.  Sitting down in a chair facing the door JC placed the papers he held in his lap and, putting one elbow up on an armrest, rested his chin in his hand.  He watched as traffic passed by on the street and waited.  As he waited, his mind wandered-the conversation he'd had with his mom yesterday replaying in his head.

"We are not having this conversation again, Mom." JC sighed as he plopped down on the couch. 

"Don't take that tone with me, Joshua." Karen Chasez said sternly over the phone.  "You may not be a child anymore, but I'm still your mother."

"Yes, ma'am." He replied, contritely. 

His mother sighed.  "I just worry about you, honey."

JC rolled his eyes.  "You don't have to worry about me, Mom.  I'm an adult.  I can take care of myself.  I'm fine."

"Are you?" She asked sincerely.

He was quiet for a moment.  He was tempted to answer her the way he answered everyone who asked him that question: ‘Yeah, life is good right now.  I'm happy.' But he couldn't lie to his mother.

"I didn't think so." She said in response to his silence.  He cursed her ability to read him.  Even separated by an entire continent she could still read between the lines and pick up on what he wasn't telling her.  "What's going on, Josh?" She asked concerned.

"Nothing's going on." He reassured her.  "I'm just..." He paused.  How was he supposed to explain what had been going on the past couple weeks without her jumping to conclusions and blowing things out of proportion?  "I've just been a bit preoccupied and...frustrated lately."

"Why are you frustrated?" She asked.

"This remodel for one." He answered, listening to the chaos going on in the front room.

"How's that going?"

"Good, I guess.  I've never really done this before so I have nothing to compare it to.  You guys'll have to come out and see it when it's done."

"How's the designer?" She asked.  "I've heard they can sometimes be a pain to work with."

"Rachel's great." He answered, a smile coming to his face.  Even though the last time they'd talked she been upset, he had found himself trying to come up with an excuse to get her back out to the house sooner than she was planning on.  Maybe if he acted like he was upset over what Tony was doing...

"Rachel, huh?" His mom asked.  He could hear the smile in her voice and could picture the interested look on her face.  He rolled his eyes.

"Stop." He said with a chuckle.

"Stop what?" She asked innocently.

"Stop whatever crazy thoughts are going through your head right now."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She answered.

"Please!" He exclaimed with a laugh.  "Every time I mention a girl, you get these crazy ideas about me getting married."

"I just think it's time for you to find a nice girl to settle down with, Joshua." Karen answered.

JC sighed.  He turned and began picking at the fabric on the armrest next to him.  "It's kind of hard for someone like me to find someone to ‘settle down with'." He replied.

"No it's not." She answered.  "Celebrities get married everyday."

Yeah, but how many of them stay married? He wanted to ask her.  That was the problem, though he'd never admit it out loud.  He was the kind of guy that once he was committed-really committed-to a relationship, that was it.  Once he finally gave his heart to someone he didn't want it back.  But he'd gotten it back more times than he'd care to admit; each time making him more and more grateful that he hadn't taken the relationship as far as maybe he'd wanted to.  How did you find someone you knew you would be with forever? It was obvious that he had no idea; all the girls he'd been with in the past had done nothing but use him and leave him.

"You just need to open yourself up more." His mother continued.

JC laughed bitterly. "And how has opening myself up helped in the past?"

"You have to go through heartbreak so you can recognize true love when it shows up." She answered.

"True love." He mused.  "Is it even real?" 

"I'm sorry." She said.

"For what?"

"For everything."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, confused.

"If I hadn't suggested you try out for Disney all those years ago, maybe you'd have already found a nice girl and settled down in a normal life."

"Yeah, and maybe not." He said.  "Mom, I don't regret anything I've done in my life and you shouldn't either.  I've had some amazing experiences and been able to do things that most people only dream about."

"I know." She sighed.  "But you don't have anyone to share it with."

"I've got you guys." He said. 

"It's not the same, honey." She replied. "You'll know it when it comes." She said.  "One day you'll meet someone and she'll make you forget everyone that's hurt you in the past.  When that happens, take a chance and open your heart.  I think you'll be surprised at the results."

JC squinted as the glare from a grey sedan pulling into the parking lot outside blinded him and pulled him from his thoughts.  He sat up straighter when he recognized Rachel behind the wheel, his lips lifting in a smile as he imagined her response to seeing him when she walked in.  He watched as she maneuvered her car into a spot she appeared to be talking to someone.  Since he couldn't see anyone in the car with her he assumed she was talking on the phone. 

"Take a chance and open your heart."  His mother's words echoed in his head and he tried to push them away.  Open his heart to Rachel?  He would have laughed out loud if the girl behind the front desk wouldn't have thought he was insane.  Sure she was confident, beautiful and sexy and he was insanely attracted to her, but how was she any different than any of the other girls he'd been with?  What made her different?  What was it about her that caused this nervous excitement to fill him as he sat anxiously waiting for her to get out of her car?  This is ridiculous. He scolded himself.  We're going to be working together for the next couple months.  I don't want to make things awkward.  Besides, she hasn't given any indication she remembers the time we spent together last year.  He sat, watching as she remained in her car talking on the phone gesturing with her hands-indicating she was having a very animated conversation.    

Make her remember. His heart argued back. 

He lifted an interested brow.  Could he do it?  Could he make her remember without making things too awkward?  The sudden challenge was tempting, but how?  And what happened when she did remember?  Would they just go on with their lives, or would they want to see if the chemistry was still there?  He placed both elbows on the armrests and steepled his fingers, resting them against his lips as he began formulating a plan. 

 ~~~~~

"Do you remember that whole conversation we had a couple days ago about boys being dumb?" Megan asked, sounding irritated.

"Uh-oh." Rachel replied as she drove.  "What did he do?"

The girls normally didn't talk during the middle of the day because of the time difference between them, but since Megan had taken the afternoon off to go to a doctor's appointment, she had called Rachel, catching her at the end of her lunch hour.

"He told me I was childish and wanted to know when I was going to grow up."

"What?" Rachel replied in shock.  "Wait.  Who are we talking about?"

"Jackson." Megan practically growled the name out.

"Jackson?" Rachel asked, finding it hard to believe what Megan had just said.  "Sweet, charming, so completely in love with you it's ridiculous, Jackson?"

"You mean stupid, idiotic, pain in my ass, Jackson?" Megan asked. 

"What happened?" Rachel asked as she pulled into her office parking lot.  Finding a free spot she parked, rolled her windows down and turned the car off.  The mid-September afternoon was warm, but not uncomfortably so.  Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt and sat, listening to Megan.

"He went out after work with a couple buddies and came home kind of drunk."

"Kind of?" Rachel asked.  "Being drunk isn't a ‘kind of' thing.  You either are or you're not."

"Okay." Megan sighed in exasperation.  "So, he was drunk.  Anyway-I was cleaning the kitchen last night-scrubbing the oven, cleaning out the fridge-when he got home.  I had N SYNC  playing and was singing and dancing along.  But, when I went to give him a kiss he rolled his eyes and walked away from me."

"What!?" Rachel exclaimed.  "I don't believe you."

"I didn't believe it either!" Megan replied.  "I stood there in shock for a second and then was all like, ‘Excuse me?  What's your problem?'"

"And what did he say?" Rachel asked, pulling her lipgloss from her purse and reapplying it using her rearview mirror.

"He said he was sick of feeling like he was competing for my attention with a washed up former boy band member."

"Nu-uh!" Rachel gasped.  "Are you serious!?" Jackson had known about Megan's obsession with N SYNC when they'd been dating but he'd never let on that he had a problem with it.  In fact, he'd gotten a copy of one of the guys' concerts for Megan their first Valentine's Day together and had even invited JC to their wedding (albeit mostly for Rachel's benefit, and because he worked for the guy, but Megan had been ecstatic).

"Yeah." Megan said.  "He said I was being ridiculous and I needed to grow up.  He said their music was childish and immature and he was embarrassed sometimes to be in the car with me when I played their music and the windows are down." Rachel could tell that Megan was still fuming over the exchange.  "Alcohol really loosens people up, huh?" She chuckled bitterly.  "And you wonder why I never drink."

"What did you do?" Rachel asked, concerned about Megan's stress level.  It couldn't be good for the baby for her to still be this upset over something that had happened almost eighteen hours ago.  Good thing she's on her way to the doctor right now. Rachel thought.

"I told him he wasn't competing with anyone for my attention, that the fact that I was pregnant with his baby should give him a clue as to who I was really in love with and that he better apologize or he'd be sleeping out on the couch." Megan stated matter of factly. 

"And did he?" Rachel asked as she glanced at her watch.  She grimaced.  Her lunch hour was up, but she could tell Megan was going to need to talk for a while.  Grabbing her purse Rachel got out of her car.

"Nope." Megan answered.

"You didn't really make him sleep on the couch last night did you?" She asked in shock.

"Yes." Megan replied.  "I did."

"Megan!" Rachel exclaimed.

"What?" Megan asked impatiently.  "He totally deserved it!  Not only did he come home drunk, but he had the audacity to take out whatever stress he has going on right now with work on me.  And he insulted JC!  Who, P.S. is not washed up.  He's just taking a break right now."

"You're preaching to the choir, honey." Rachel laughed.  "Remember how I'm just as in love with JC as you are?"

"Who cares what kind of music I listen to?" Megan said, continuing as if she hadn't heard Rachel.  "Who cares that I still sometimes act like I'm sixteen?  That shouldn't matter.  What should matter is the fact that I married him, that I put up with him on a daily basis and that I'm having his baby."

Rachel heard Megan take a couple deep breaths and rolled her eyes at her friend's dramatics as she walked towards the front door of her building.  Megan had always been prone to being moody, but since becoming pregnant Rachel had noticed a definite increase in her friend's mood swings.  When she needed to vent, which was often, it was best to just let her get it all out.

"Maybe he--" Rachel started, but Megan cut her off.

"Don't you dare pity him." Megan responded curtly.  "You're my best friend.  Besides," she grumbled, "He didn't even stay out there all night."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked glancing at her reflection in the front windows.  The brown and cream polka dot dress she was wearing swished around her knees.  The fabric was soft and the color matched her eyes.  She had pulled her hair back in a ponytail which helped showcase the pearl necklace around her neck, while the cream ribbon tied at the empire waist helped accentuate her slender waist.  With the brown heels she was wearing the whole outfit was reminiscent of a 1950's magazine ad.  All she needed was to be sitting in an old Chevy or to be standing next to a turquoise oven and she'd be able to sell just about anything.    

"He crawled into bed with me around three." Megan said, bringing Rachel back to the conversation she was having.  "He said he was sorry and tried to get a little frisky, thinking he could make it up to me."

"Dare I ask what you did?" Rachel asked, slightly worried.  Megan may be her best friend, but she had developed a friendship with Jackson as well over the last few years and felt sorry for what the guy was being put through with Megan being pregnant.  I bet it'll be a while before he's ready to have another one. Rachel thought wryly.

"I pushed him away and told him, nice try, but I wasn't interested in anything he had to offer."

"Ouch!" Rachel laughed as she opened the front door and walked into the lobby.  "Don't you think that was a little harsh, Megs?" She asked, dropping her keys into her purse.

"No, I don't think so."  Megan said.  Rachel caught Aubrey's eye as she walked past the reception desk and smiled at the girl.  Aubrey pointed quickly behind Rachel.  "He was mean," Megan continued as Rachel looked over her shoulder then stopped and turned around completely.  Her jaw dropped and her eye's widened in surprise.  "If he thinks he can just--"

Rachel lowered her phone and flipped it closed as her eyes connected with a pair of very familiar, very sexy, very blue eyes.  Her phone started ringing as he stood and gave her the once over.  Rachel quickly silenced the ringer and dropped the phone into her purse.  The sparkle in his eyes and the amused grin on his face made her cheeks warm.  Once again she had acted like an idiot in front of him.  How could she walk right past him and not see him?  And you profess to be in love with the guy. She thought.  Something must be wrong with your JC radar. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked, finally gaining control of herself.  She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from groaning out loud at the absolutely gorgeous smile on his face.  Damn!  She thought.  How is it possible for him to look better every time I see him?  He had on a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt and a black hoodie zipped half way.  The sleeves of the hoodie were pushed up his forearms and a pair of sunglasses were tucked and hanging on the collar of his shirt.  He had a wide silver watch on his left wrist and the black Hudson style hat he was wearing made Rachel's knees feel a bit weak. 

"I was hoping you weren't busy right now and we could talk about a couple things." He said, walking towards her.  He stopped in front of her and Rachel feared she was going to pass out as she caught a whiff of his cologne.  The familiar spiciness of it made her mouth water.  He smells as good as he looks.  I wonder if he still tastes as good...  "Do you have a minute?" He asked as his sparkling blue eyes quickly ran down her body again and reconnected with her own. 

For you? She thought.  Honey, I've got all the time in the world.  She mentally slapped herself.  Snap out of it! 

"Uh," she looked at her watch again, trying hard to compose herself.  "Sure." She smiled.  "Follow me." She said, turning and leading him back towards her desk.  Rachel closed her eyes for a second as she walked and quickly pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.  JC-the gorgeous, sexy, incredible, JC Chasez-had come to her office and wanted to talk.  To her!  Had been waiting to talk to her, in fact.  Rachel fought against the excited squeal that wanted to break out as she stepped into her cubicle and turned to look at JC.  She felt her cell phone vibrate in her purse again but ignored it.  She knew it was Megan and she was more than likely mad about being cut off so abruptly and with no excuse, or worried that Rachel had suddenly died, but she'd just have to deal with it. 

"Have a seat." Rachel said, pointing to the extra chair sitting beside her desk.  He remained standing as she placed her purse under her desk.  Rachel couldn't help smiling when she watched him sit-but only after she had done so.  "What do you need?" She asked, moving a stack of papers out of the way.

"I need you to sign something." He said, placing a couple pieces of paper in front of her.

"What is this?" She asked her brows furrowing slightly as she picked up the papers.  She glanced at them quickly but looked back at him.  After all, he was much nicer to look at than a boring legal document.  JC put his left elbow up on the desk and leaned towards her. 

"It's a Non-Disclosure Agreement." He said, his eyes holding hers steadily.

"Non-Disclosure?" She asked, slightly taken back.  Did he not trust her? 

"It's not for me." He said, as if reading her thoughts.  "It's for MTV." He reached out with his other hand and pointed at the top of the first page.  "See?"

Rachel tore her eyes away from him and scanned the page quickly.

"They want you and whoever may be working with you to sign it."  He said.  "I had Tony and his guys sign one this morning when they were at the house.  The producers don't want anything leaking out before the show airs." He explained.

Rachel watched him as he leaned back in the chair and stretched his legs out in front of him, his eyes wandering around her work space.  Make yourself comfortable. She thought, raising one brow and smiling at the picture he made.  She quickly turned her eyes back to the paper however, when he suddenly turned his attention back to her and their eyes connected again.  She couldn't stay away from him for long though, and before she knew it she was once more looking into his eyes.  

As crazy as it sounded, Rachel felt herself being pulled in by his eyes.  There was something different about him today.  Something different in the way he was looking at her and it made her heart skip a few beats.  There was a warmth in his eyes that hadn't been there before and Rachel found herself mesmerized.  He was looking at her as if...as if...as if he remembered her. 

Rachel tore her eyes away from him and cleared her throat.  That's ridiculous. She told herself.  Stop being so sappy.  He doesn't remember who you are.  "Do you mind if I read through this quickly before I sign it?" She asked.

"Take your time." He shrugged one shoulder as he smiled at her.

Rachel turned her attention to the papers in her hands, fighting to focus on the words she was reading, instead of the man sitting not two feet from her.  But she found she was very much aware of him and couldn't concentrate.  The way he smelled, the sound of him breathing, the purely masculine essence he exuded was wreaking havoc on her senses.  As she got to the bottom of the first page and realized she hadn't comprehended a word of what she'd read, Rachel forced herself to begin again.  This is going to take forever. She thought as she started to reread the document from the beginning:

It is understood and agreed that, to ensure the protection of confidential information, the parties agree to the following: 

• 1. Recipient shall limit disclosure of confidential information within its own organization to its directors, officers, partners...

~~~~~

JC watched as Rachel's eyes moved over the page in front of her.  His lips lifted in a slight smile as he watched her lift one elbow up onto her desk and idly twirl a strand of her hair around her finger.  As she finally flipped the first page over she glanced over at him.  Seeing him watching her she smiled, her cheeks warming slightly, and she turned back to the document-reading the second page.  She lifted one leg and crossed it over the other and his eyes followed the movement.  His mouth suddenly felt dry and his palms sweaty as his eyes moved from the brown heels she wore, over the length of exposed skin below the hem of her dress, up over the brown and cream material, to her long hair that was pulled back in a simple ponytail.  He rubbed his hands on his legs and forced himself to look anywhere but back at her incredible legs.  Up until she'd walked in and breezed past him in the lobby a few minutes ago, JC had only seen her in pants since the day she'd shown up at his front door.  He'd forgotten what great legs she had.

His eyes wandered around her small office space, taking in the sketches tacked to the walls, the open catalogues with fabric samples laid over the pages and notes scribbled in the margins.  Actually, he realized as he looked around, there were notes scribbled everywhere.  He smiled as he wondered how she kept everything straight.  She had notes written on little scraps of paper, a few miscellaneous napkins, the planner that lay open next to her computer and a myriad of post-it notes in almost every color and shape imaginable spread around her desk.  She needs an assistant. He thought to himself. 

He examined a couple of pictures she had set on a shelf above her desk.  The first one was of Rachel with her arms around a cute brunette that looked familiar to him in a white and red trimmed wedding dress.  Rachel was wearing the incredible red dress she'd been wearing the first time they'd met and her hair was the dark brown he had remembered.  JC closed his eyes for a second and tried to recall what her friend's name was.  What's Jackson's wife's name? He thought as he went through his mental files.  Maitlyn...Miranda...Megan! He smiled as he got it. 

JC's looked at Rachel as she continued reading then looked back up at the pictures.  The second one was another one of Rachel and Megan.  Rachel, her hair streaked with bright blue this time, was holding a drink in her hand as both girls laughed at the camera.  The extreme hair style she was sporting in the photo intrigued him.  His eyes moved from the picture, back to the woman sitting a foot away from him.  Beneath the professional exterior she had a wild, uninhibited side and he suddenly found himself wanting to explore that side of her personality more.  He'd observed her at the club last weekend and he'd gotten a sample of it the night of Jackson and Megan's wedding, but they'd been interrupted and JC found himself wanting a rematch with her.

As he continued his perusal his eyes stopped on a couple of all too familiar photos and he raised an interested brow as something she'd said last year came to mind.  "I'm a big fan."  She'd confessed to him. 

He rested his elbow on her desk as he covered his smirk with his hand.  Tacked on the wall above her was a black and white copy of a photo that he and the guys had had taken years ago.  They were all sitting on the floor and someone, probably Joey, had cracked a joke which Justin had found absolutely hysterical for some reason.  The photographer had snapped the picture while they had all been laughing.  Surprisingly, it was the best picture to come from that particular shoot and was the one that had been released.  Next to the old group photo was a more recent one of himself that had been taken at an awards show last year.      

"This seems pretty standard." Rachel said, looking at him.  JC moved his eyes from the photos to the girl sitting in front of him. 

"Yeah, it's a pretty basic one." He replied, lowering his hand and trying to figure her out.  She walked around pretending she had no idea he was a celebrity, when it was now obvious she knew who he was.  One would be tempted to think she had put those pictures up after she started working for him, but the fact that they were both partially covered with other notes and pictures led him to believe they'd been up on her wall for a while.  His earlier plan of making her remember him now seemed pointless.  She knew who he was-she hadn't been that drunk when they'd made out.  She was hiding it.  Why, he didn't know, but he gave her props for being a good actress.  He'd just have to change his strategy now he decided.  It's time to play dirty. He thought.

He watched as Rachel grabbed a pen from a red mug by her computer that was jammed full of various pens, pencils and a pair of black handled scissors.  She quickly signed the second page, and then held the papers out to him.

"Was that it?" She asked.

He sat looking at her for a few moments before he replied.  "No." He pushed the document she'd signed to the side.  Rachel watched him expectantly as he shifted in the chair and pulled something from his back pocket.  "I don't know how you expect me to choose between four colors that are exactly the same." He said raising one brow.  He set the paint sample cards she'd left at his house Monday morning on the desk, one by one, between them.

Rachel chuckled as she uncrossed her legs and scooted her chair closer to him.  "They're not all the same." She replied, resting her chin in her hand.  "If they were, they'd all have the same name." He watched as her lips twitched, giving away the fact that she wanted to smile.  Smart Ass.  He thought as he narrowed his eyes slightly.  "Do you see how this one has a little more yellow in it," she pointed to the sample of Koi Pond.  "Whereas this one," Tropical Foliage this time he noted, "Has more blue in it?"

He looked up at her in disbelief.  "I see no difference between them." He admitted.

She looked at him for a moment, biting her bottom lip then gathered up the samples and stood.  "Come with me." She said.

JC stood and followed as she led him towards the back of the building, a sense of déjà vu filling him.  He smiled, recalling the last time she'd led him down a hallway.  They walked past several other cubicles and a large open area were a few people were working at two large tables--scraps and bolts of different colored material spread all over them.  She led him down another hallway and opened a door at the end.  Flipping on the light she revealed a large room with even more bolts of fabric stacked from floor to ceiling on multiple rows of shelves.  JC raised his eyebrows in surprise and followed as she walked past several rows until stopping before one in particular and disappearing around the corner.

"This." She said, pulling one bolt of green patterned fabric out slightly as he stepped around the same corner.  "And this." She said pulling out a second bolt of green fabric with a different pattern on it.  "Are the two fabrics I'm deciding between for the front room."  She placed the two paint samples up against the first bolt she'd pulled out.  "Do you see the difference now?" She asked looking at him over her shoulder with a smile. 

JC stepped closer to her and looked at the paint samples as she held them against the fabric.  "A little." He admitted.  "But they still seem pretty similar."  He looked at her.  "Does it really matter what color I choose?"

"Probably not." She said.  "If this is the fabric we go with.  But look at them both against this one."

He shifted slightly behind her and looked over her other shoulder as she held the cards up against the second bolt of fabric.  The difference between the samples was now startling.  "Wow." He said.  "I like this fabric." He said in reference to the one they were now looking at.  "But this color," he pointed at Koi Pond, "Looks terrible with it."

"See." She smiled at him over her other shoulder.  "I told you they were different."  The enchanting sparkle in her eyes made him smile in return.  As he stood looking at her, their close proximity suddenly registered and his smile slowly left as she continued looking into his eyes.  He swallowed.  He was in trouble.  He knew he should step away from her, but he couldn't seem to convey that message to his legs.  He searched her eyes, for any break in her resistance before his eyes lowered slightly to her mouth and he found himself contemplating kissing her. 

She must have sensed his intentions, because she turned back to the fabric in front of them and he heard her breathing pick up pace.  JC stood looking at the back of her head; his eyes running over the skin of her neck, his mouth suddenly recalling how that soft skin had felt and tasted.  He leaned towards her, closing his eyes as the scent of her perfume hit him.  The light, clean fragrance drifted around him and his mouth began to water.

~~~~~

Rachel was afraid she was going to pass out.  I'm going to die.  She thought.  Right now.  Right here in the storeroom.  My heart is going to stop and I'm going to die any second.  Between the serious and intense looks he'd been giving her seconds ago, to the way he was practically pressed against her back, and now to the way she could feel his warm breath on her neck...she shivered slightly.  She was going to pass out.  If not from the adrenaline coursing through her body then probably from the shock of having him kiss her again.  She could feel the warmth of his body behind her and she tried desperately to distract herself.  There was no way he was going to kiss her.  She was just over exaggerating every thing-blowing things out of proportion as she was apt to do. They were in the storeroom for crying out loud!  Oh, I'm in so much trouble.  What is it with me and JC in back rooms? She thought. 

"I like this fabric too." She told him, touching her fingers to the second sample he had said he liked.  "But I like this one as well." She said in reference to the first sample, proud of herself for being able to form a complete (albeit not quite coherent) sentence.

"Mmmm." He murmured behind her.  "Can we use it in one of the other rooms?" He asked.

"Uh" She raised one hand and played with her necklace.  "If...if we d-do that we'll be in the same position we were in before."  She turned around and looked at him, surprised at just how close he was. 

He placed one hand on the shelf behind her and leaned even closer.  "What's wrong with the position we were in?" He asked, his eyes boring into hers and Rachel couldn't help smiling even as she found herself wondering if they were talking about the same thing.

"It was boring." She replied softly, looking up at him through her lashes.  "Everything was beige.  Now you want to make everything green?  Be bold, JC." She swallowed as he brought one hand up and flicked her ponytail, which had been hanging over her shoulder, behind her back.  "Take a chance." She whispered as his hand came up to touch her face.  "Step outside your comfort zone." 

What the hell am I saying? Rachel thought at the words coming from her mouth.  What the hell am I doing? She thought as she leaned into his hand.  Sure, on a superficial level they were talking about paint colors and fabric choices, but in reality it went far deeper than that.  Somehow they'd moved from discussing his front room to her begging him to kiss her-all but saying the actual words to him.  She closed her eyes as he dipped his head, closing the small space between them.

"Rachel, please call the front desk." Aubrey's voice came over the office intercom and Rachel jumped, hitting the back of her head against the shelving unit behind her, her heart pounding.  "Rachel, please call the front desk."

JC dropped his hand and stepped away from her and Rachel turned back to the shelf.  She closed her eyes.  What am I doing?  I almost kissed him.  Again!  He doesn't remember me and I almost kissed him!  What is wrong with me?! 

"I like the second fabric." JC said behind her.  "So, let's go with the color that matches it." 

Rachel straightened and turned.  She smoothed her hands down the front of her dress, missing the way his eyes watched the action hungrily.  "Alright." She said, moving away from him and walking towards the door, purposefully avoiding any eye contact with him.  "I'll call the painters and let them know."  She turned the lights off as JC walked passed her out of the room.  Rachel closed her eyes as his cologne hit her again she groaned softly as she shut the door.  "Tony called me this morning and said they were going to be done tomorrow." She said, trying to distract herself.

"Yeah." JC said as he followed her back up to the lobby.  "It's looking good." He said with a smile.  "I like it."

"Good." Rachel smiled, finally looking at him.  He watched her intently, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly as he winked at her.  Her smile widened and she felt her cheeks warm.  "Like I said," she said.  "I'll give the painters a call and they should be able to come out on Friday.  Do...um...do you want to get together on Monday?" She asked.  "We can go over some of the furniture pieces I've found and get a start on the next room?"

"Sure." He said, nodding. 

"What time do you want to meet?"

"How about eleven?"  He asked.  "Does that work?"

"Yeah." She said, nodding as they walked up by the front desk.  "I'll see you on Monday, then."

"Yeah." He smiled at her, then turned and left.

Rachel turned and leaned against Aubrey's desk, as JC walked out the front doors.  She watched as he put his sunglasses on and disappeared around the building.  Rachel turned to look at Aubrey and sighed.

Aubrey giggled.  "He's gorgeous."

Rachel chuckled.  "Yeah." She nodded at the girl, aware of the sappy smile on her face.  "Yeah, he is.  Whew." She blew out a breath, making Aubrey laugh.   "What did you need?" Rachel asked.

"Lucy's called a couple times in a tizzy." Aubrey said, handing Rachel a yellow post-it note she'd scribbled on.  "Something about the new centerpieces clashing with the bridesmaid dresses?"

"Argh!" Rachel groaned the high she'd been on moments ago plummeting.  "I..." She put a hand over her mouth and took a deep breath.  "I can't handle her anymore.  She is the most ridiculous person I've ever met." Rachel threw her hands up in the air in frustration.

"Sorry." Aubrey looked at her in sympathy.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she straightened.  "Thanks." She said as she headed back to her desk.  Plopping down in her chair, Rachel's eyes went to the pictures above her computer and she groaned.  "Perfect." She said in reference to the pictures she had tacked up and which she was sure he had seen.  How could he miss them?  Rachel put her arm on her desk and laid her head down as she realized what he must think of her now that her secret was out.  "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She said to herself.  "What are you, crazy?"

"No."

Rachel gasped and her head shot up at JC's voice behind her.  "What?" She asked swiveling around in her chair.

"I was answering your question." He said, tipping his sunglasses down and looking at her from above the rims.  "I'm not crazy." He smiled as he took his sunglasses off.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him for the second time today.  She watched as he grabbed some papers from her desk.

"I forgot this." He said, holding up the disclosure agreement she'd signed.

"Oh." She just sat there looking up at him.

"So, Monday?" He asked, lifting the arm of his glasses to his lips.

"Yes!" She looked over at the planner laying open on her desk.  She flipped to the next page and picked up a pen.  "Eleven, right?"

"Yeah." He said.  She looked up at him.  "Bye, Rachel." He winked as he put his sunglasses back on, then turned and left. 

"Bye." She called out weakly.  No more talking out loud.  She mentally kicked herself.  Rachel heard her cell phone vibrate and reached to pull it from her purse.  1 missed call.  2 texts.  Rachel flipped her phone open and, as expected, Megan's was the call she'd missed right after she'd realized JC was waiting for her.  Megan was also the one who had sent her the two texts.

What the hell??

She'd asked.  Followed closely by:

Did you die?

Call me...or not.

Whatever.

Rachel sighed at her friend's attitude.  I'm sure going to be glad when those pregnancy hormones level out.  Rachel opened up a new message and began typing.

How are you holding up?

Rachel selected Jackson's number from her phonebook and sent the text, then began typing another message which she sent to Megan.

I didn't die.

JC showed up.  Ahhh!!!

I'll call you later :)

Her desk phone rang and Rachel grabbed the receiver, answering it automatically, "Adams & Richards Designs, this is Rachel Kline."

"Rachel!" Lucy's frantic voice came over the line.  "Thank God you're there!  Listen..."

Rachel groaned and turned in her chair, pulling open her desk drawer.  She pulled out a bottle of Tylenol and shook out two white pills as Lucy continued ranting about how everything had to be redone because she'd just found the absolutely perfect dress for her maid of honor.  Popping the pain relievers in her mouth and taking a swig from the water bottle she had sitting on her desk Rachel just let the girl go, ‘Hmmm-ing' and say ‘yes' whenever appropriate.  What was the point in listening to anything Lucy said when she was just going to call again tomorrow and change everything again.

Rachel turned and grabbed the furniture catalogue she'd been looking in this morning and started flipping through the pages, looking for pieces that might look good in JC's front room.  Now that they had picked out a color for the walls and she knew what fabric the couches were going to be recovered in, Rachel could really let her imagination take flight.  She turned a page and was caught off guard by an advertisement that had a couple snuggling on a chaise overlooking a gorgeous sunset.  She normally wouldn't have thought twice about the ad however, the guy in the photo had dark hair and the woman was blonde.  The couple had their back to the camera which allowed Rachel to picture herself and JC as the couple.  She ran her fingers down the page and closed her eyes, trying to relive the moments she's spent in the storeroom with the man of her dreams.  A delicious tingle ran down her spine as she recalled the way he'd looked at her and the feel of his hand on her face. 

I am in so much trouble. She thought for the second time as she ripped the advertisement out and tacked it up on the wall next to the photo she had up of the man she had almost kissed not twenty minutes ago.  Rachel was beginning to realize that, as much as she professed to be a player, and as much as she may have played other guys in the past, she was a pansy when it came to JC Chasez.  The man was dangerous and he knew it.  He could do whatever he wanted to her and she knew she was going to be powerless to stop him.

Rachel laughed at Megan's statement Monday morning.  "Okay, that's random.  What made you come to this conclusion?" She asked as she merged onto the freeway.  Megan was on her lunch break in Phoenix and Rachel had called her in an attempt to get her mind off the nervousness she felt while driving to her appointment with JC. 

It had been a stressful five days for Rachel since he'd left her office Wednesday afternoon and she'd ridden a roller coaster of emotions-everything from giddiness to nervousness to fear.  She'd analyzed and stressed, replaying the scene from the storeroom over and over again, to the point of making herself sick.  She thought she'd been confused after seeing him last weekend at the club, but this was ten times worse.  He had almost kissed her for crying out loud!  How was she supposed to react to that?  Was she supposed to just go on as if nothing had happened when they both knew something had happened and they both knew that had Aubrey not called her something would have happened?  Or was she supposed to just laugh and play it off?

"I've read a lot of crappy books lately." Megan said, pulling Rachel from her thoughts.  "And I figure, if those idiots can write something that stupid and get it published, what's stopping me?"

I need to calm down. Rachel told herself.  Worrying is going to do nothing but make me sick and that's the last thing I need right now.  "What are you going to write about?" Rachel asked.

"I haven't completely decided yet..." Megan replied, as if deep in thought.  "But it's going to be a romance."

"I like romance."  Rachel said.  "Go on."

"Okay," Megan's voice picked up some excitement.  "So here's what I'm thinking: there's this girl-let's call her Olivia-and one night at her best friend's wedding reception she has a hot affair with a famous musician-let's call him Scott.  They're both a little drunk and the next morning she leaves before he wakes up."  Rachel began laughing as the story started to sound very familiar.  Megan continued quickly before she could interrupt, however. "She moves to New York after graduating college." Megan said.  "She wants to be an actress, but works as a waitress to pay the bills.  One night, while she's waiting tables, in walks Scott and sits at one of her tables."

"What does she do?" Rachel asked getting sucked into the picture Megan was painting. 

"She fumbles and stutters for a moment, then pulls herself together and walks over to the table, flashes her beautiful smile and realizes he has no idea who she is.  She's devastated, of course."

"Of course." Rachel replied with a smile as she pulled off the freeway.

"Well, it turns out Scott does remember her and has been trying to find her ever since he woke up to find her gone.  It's all very dramatic.  He comes back to the restaurant night after night and finally, one night, he asks her out."

"Does she go?" Rachel asked.

"Yes."

"And?" She asked impatiently when Megan stopped.  "What happens?!" 

"I don't know." Megan replied.  "That's as far as I've gotten."

"I hate you." Rachel responded dryly and Megan laughed.

"No you don't."

"Um, yeah.  Pretty sure I do." Rachel said, turning onto JC's street.  "You can't leave me hanging like that!"

"Got your mind off wanting to throw up though, didn't it?" Megan asked with a chuckle.

Rachel laughed.  "You know me too well."

Megan laughed.  "I'm serious about wanting to write a book though.  I'm still trying to come up with a story line.  Seriously, you should see some of the garbage that's being printed these days.  It's ridiculous.  I could totally write something and make a ton of money."

"Yeah, because you really need a ton of money." Rachel replied sarcastically.  Megan and Jackson were by no means poor.  What with Jackson's lucrative career as a stock broker, Megan's good income as a graphic designer, and the fact that his parents were rich and had set up a trust fund for him and his siblings when they were younger they were doing just fine.  "Just promise me that if you put me in the book you'll make it so not everyone will know it's me when they read it."

"If I use a pen name no one will know it's me writing it, therefore they won't know that it's you I'm writing about."

"Alright." Rachel said with a laugh.  "Hey, I'm here." She said as she pulled up to the gate and punched in the numbers she'd memorized.  She watched as the gate swung open and drove her car up the driveway.

"Okay.  Good luck." Megan offered.

"Thanks.  I'll call you later."

Rachel hung up as she turned her car off.  She took a deep breath then got out of the car.  When she'd woken up this morning the sky had been overcast and the weather report predicted rain by the end of the day.  She shivered slightly as a cold wind blew around her.  Looks like summer's over. She thought.  She grabbed her red messenger bag and the few catalogues she'd brought with her from the back seat then turned and walked towards the house, hugging the long brown sweater she'd thrown on this morning around her.  As she rang the doorbell and waited, Rachel ran a hand through her hair, and tried not to let herself get too nervous.  Just play it cool.  She told herself.  If you don't make a big deal out of it, then he won't make a big deal out of it.  She was a little disappointed, but also somewhat relieved, when Sarah opened the door.

"Good morning." She said with a smile, opening the door wider for Rachel to walk through. 

"Good morning." Rachel replied as she walked in, the heel of her brown boots clacking against the tile in the foyer.

"Jace is back in the great room." Sarah informed her.

"Thanks." Rachel said, smiling as she began walking that direction.  She stopped however when she passed the front room and couldn't help smiling at the drastic transformation the room had undergone.  The space seemed so much bigger now that the wall had been removed.  The light from the rest of the house was able to come through and she could tell already that it was going to be used a lot more than it had been.  She stepped into the room and turned around, getting the full effect.  She walked across the room to the far wall and ran her hand over the smooth surface. 

"I really like the color."

Rachel screamed in shock as JC spoke from behind her.  She twirled around in surprise and placed a hand over her frantically racing heart and looked at him from across the room.  He laughed as he stood, leaning casually against the edge of the new archway with his hands in his pockets.  His feet were bare which normally would have made Rachel a little flustered, but that wasn't what had her speechless and practically drooling today.  Today he was wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses and she watched, her knees feeling suspiciously like j-ello, as he removed one hand from his pocket and ran it through his short hair.  He smiled as he walked towards her, his blue eyes sparkling and Rachel found herself dropping her arm to her side and leaning back against the wall for support.  He stopped just inches from her and stood, looking at the wall for a moment before turning the full force of his attention on her.  Rachel feared for a second she was going to pass out.  Here I go.  She thought.  Any minute I'm going to end up in a puddle on the floor.  He was close enough she could see the tiny flecks of white in his blue eyes; close enough she could hear him breathing and smell the spicy scent of his aftershave; close enough to know if her heart stopped right now she'd die happy.  I can feel my bones starting to melt.  She thought. Who knew a guy could look this damn sexy in a pair of glasses?

"I'm glad we decided to go with this one as opposed to the other one."  He said, his lips turning up in a small smile as his eyes left hers and traveled down her body.  She raised one hand-hoping he couldn't see the trembling of her fingers-and placed it against her chest, hoping to stop her still rapidly beating heart leaping from her chest.

"Uh...y-yeah...uh-huh..." Rachel stammered and JC's smile widened slightly.  She felt her cheeks warming and cleared her throat as she finally straightened and pushed away from the wall and stepped away from him.  She turned her back on him for a second and tried to gain control of her body.  Between the way he looked in those glasses, to the way his eyes had slowly and seductively traveled over her body as if mentally undressing her, to the way he had been leaning over her, the warmth of his body calling out to her, to the way he smelled...Rachel was surprised she was conscious and still standing upright.  I don't know how much more my heart or hormones can take. She thought as she turned back to face him, forcing a smile on her face. 

"I like it too." She said.  "It turned out good.  I'm going to have a couple guys come by tomorrow to pick up the couches," she gestured to the pieces of furniture that were still clustered in the center of the room.  "I'll have them recovered and then this room will be almost done."

~~~~~

JC watched Rachel, an amused grin on his face.  He was intrigued with the quick turn around she'd just done.  When he'd come to stand beside her a moment ago he'd wanted to see how long it would take to get a reaction from her.  Not long at all, it turned out.  Her breathing had quickened immediately and he couldn't help but notice her trembling hand when she lifted it and began playing with the collar of the white shirt she was wearing.  He'd been caught off guard when she'd walked away from him and he watched, intrigued, as she was able to gain control of herself and once more act the part of the professional. 

His eyes once more traveled over her body, from the khaki pants she wore to the plain white shirt underneath the long duster style brown sweater which was almost the exact same shade of her eyes, to her hair which hung down around her shoulders.  He wondered how long it would take before she'd drop this professional act she had going on and just be herself around him.  It surprised him that he wanted that from her, but he did.  Whether she knew it or not, Rachel had captured his attention and JC found himself unable to move past the challenge of permanently breaking through the professional wall she had up when they were together.

"Sounds good." He finally said in reference to her plans for his couches.  "We're talking furniture today, right?" He asked.

"Yeah." She smiled, her eyes loosing some of the soft, dreamy quality they'd held as he'd been leaning over her and he found himself disappointed to see it go.

"Let's go in the other room." He said, nodding his head that direction as he began walking past her.  "There's more room to sit." He smiled over his shoulder at her. 

~~~~~

Damn you, JC! Rachel thought as she followed him back towards the kitchen and great room.  He's playing with me and he knows it!  And I'm falling for it.  Damn it, damn it, damn it!  Rachel shook her head at herself, angry that he'd been able to affect her so easily.  So he was wearing glasses?  So he was pretty much the most gorgeous man on the planet?  So he smelled like heaven itself?  That didn't mean she had to turn all weak kneed and dreamy eyed at the drop of a hat, did it?  But you have, and you do. Her conscious argued.  And you're going to keep doing it.  Somehow she had to find a way to build up her immunity to this guy.   He was just playing her and she was just going to get her hopes built up and be left to deal with the disappointment and heartache later when the game ended they both went back to their separate lives.

Rachel watched JC plop down on the couch and she smiled at the relaxed picture he made.  He stretched his legs out in front of him while he stretched one arm across the back of the couch and rested the other one on the armrest.  Rachel found herself wanting to sit next to him and cuddle up against his chest while he wrapped those incredible arms of his around her...

Instead, she forced herself to sit on the opposite end of the couch-as far from him as possible.  She tucked some hair behind her ear.

"So..." JC drawled, and she looked over at him.  "Furniture?" He asked, lifting a brow in amusement as he smiled at her.

"Right." Rachel said, handing him one of the catalogues she'd brought with her.  "Furniture."  He took the book from her and began flipping through it.  "I marked a couple pages that have some potential and I went to this great store over the weekend.  They had one piece in particular I want in the front room and there were a couple pieces I thought might look good in here," she looked around the room they were sitting in, then bent down and began rummaging through her bag.  "I took some pictures.  I know my camera's in here somewhere..." she continued rummaging, "Although, the pictures probably won't do justice to the pieces, you'll get the general idea..."

"Let's just go look at them." He said.

Rachel stopped looking for her camera and looked over at him, sure she'd heard him wrong.  "What?" She asked.

"Let's go look at them." He said with a smile.

"Right now?" Rachel asked confused.

"Why not?" He shrugged.

Rachel looked at him in surprise.  "Are you sure?  Right now?  This could take a while."

"Yeah." He nodded.  "Let's go.  Show me what you found."

"Alright." Rachel stood, still a bit unsure as to what was going on.  "It's kind of hard to find, so instead of giving you the confusing directions you can just follow me I guess." She said, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Or," He said, stopping her and making her look back at him.  "We can go together."  He suggested.  "Save the environment a little and all."

"O-okay..." She stammered, watching as he slipped his feet into a pair of black flip flops that she'd somehow missed next to the couch. 

"Let's go." He said, grabbing a key ring from the end table and grinning at her.

Rachel was freaking out.  Let's go? She thought.  Just like that? I'm supposed to follow you and get in your car with you?  I have no idea what we're going to talk about because basically I've been in love with you for my entire life and we've made out and you have no idea who I am and I have no idea how to process anything and we can't seem to be in an enclosed space for more than ten minutes without something almost happening and I have no idea how to handle any of this...

~~~~~

JC watched as Rachel stood there looking like a deer caught in the headlights.  He chuckled.  "Come on." He said.  "I promise I don't bite.  I'll return you back here in one piece.  I'm a very safe driver."

"Oh, no.  No, it's not that." She said, both hands gripping the strap of the bag hanging on her shoulder.  "It's just..."

"What?" He asked, putting his hands out. 

"It's just..." Her brows furrowed and she looked around the room.  "Are you sure you really want to do this?  I mean, this could take a while and if you're busy...we could do this on another day and just meet there..."

"Would you stop worrying about how long this is going to take?" He chuckled.  "I've got nothing planned today that can't be put off.  Let's go." He said, turning and walking through the kitchen.  He opened the garage door and turned, holding it open for Rachel.  She glanced up at him and he smiled in response to the fear still evident in her eyes and the timid smile on her face.  He moved to hold the door open with his back and she shied away from him like a skittish horse.  JC bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.  Was he really that intimidating?  Had he been a little bolder he would have stopped her, placed his hands on her face and kissed her worry away.  Instead, he hit the button on the wall next to him to raise the garage door as he shut the door to the house behind him. 

"Come on." He said, leading her towards his black Mercedes.  He walked around to the passenger door and opened it for her, smiling as she looked up at him, pleasantly surprised before sliding into the car.  As he walked around the front of the car he saw her reach behind her and pull the seatbelt across her chest.

"Where're we going?" He asked as he slid behind the wheel and shut his door, enclosing them in his car.  He smiled over at her as he turned the key and brought the car to life. 

"Uh..." Rachel cleared her throat and crossed her arms across her chest.  "Santa Monica."

"Alright." He said.  He put the car in reverse and raised his hand to the back of her seat out of habit-smiling as Rachel jumped slightly-as he looked behind them and backed out of the garage.  Once out of the garage he looked over at Rachel and smiled as he lowered his hand.  He put the car in gear and drove down the driveway and out of the gate.  "Do you think it'll rain?" He asked as he drove towards the freeway.

"What?" She asked looking over at him, confusion clouding her brown eyes.

"Rain." He repeated with a smile.  "Do you think it will?"

"Oh.  Um..." She looked out of her window and shrugged.  "I don't know.  I guess it's possible.  I've learned to never trust the weather report though."

JC chuckled.  "Yeah.  They've called wolf one too many times to be trusted."

"Yeah." She replied with a nervous chuckle.  He watched as she took her bottom lip into her mouth and began worrying it with her teeth.  She was nervous.  Her composure was slipping and he couldn't help smiling.  This is going to be fun. He thought.

"So what other projects are you working on?" JC asked, glancing over at her.  Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear.  She looked over at him.  "I mean, I'm not the only client you have, right?"

"No." Rachel replied.  "No, you're not.  I've um...I've actually got this girl that I'm working on designing her outdoor wedding."

"Are you a wedding planner as well?" He asked as one eyebrow arching curiously. 

"No." Rachel rolled her eyes.  "I'm about to kill this girl actually." JC chuckled.  "You laugh, but I'm serious." Rachel replied.  "You've heard of the stereotypical ‘bridezilla'?"

"Yeah." JC said, stretching his left arm over the steering wheel and leaning towards her-resting his right elbow on the console between the seats. 

"Well, she takes the cake." Rachel said with a raise of one brow as she turned towards him.  "I swear!  She calls me at least twice a day just to complain about something or to tell me about something she saw in a magazine and wants to now have.  It's getting ridiculous.  I've redone the backyard three times."

"Three times?" He asked as he looked over his left shoulder and merged onto the freeway.

"Just this week." Rachel responded. 

JC chuckled.  "If you're not a wedding planner, why are you doing this chick's wedding?"

"Good question." She grumbled.  Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear and rolled her eyes.  "She's the owner's granddaughter."

"Ah!" JC said, enlightened.  "Why do you get the pleasure of dealing with this girl?"

"Luck of the draw?" Rachel shrugged her shoulders.  "Actually, she's a really nice girl.  She's just..."

"Ridiculous?" He guessed.

"Ridiculous." Rachel nodded in agreement. "So what do you do?" She asked, then slapped her hand over her mouth, closing her eyes as she groaned.  "I mean, I know what you do." She chuckled nervously.  JC laughed.  "I mean..." Rachel cleared her throat; sure her face was bright red.  "Let me start over.  What have you been up to?"

"Not too much." He replied with an amused smile.  "I've actually been really lazy the last little while.  It's been nice.  As soon as the new season of Dance Crew starts up I'm going to be a little more busy which will be good."

"Do you like doing that show?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." He replied with a smile.  "It's fun." He shrugged.  "It's different.  Do you watch the show?  Do you like it?"

"Surprisingly, yes."

"Surprisingly?" He asked with the quirk of one brow.

"I'll be honest." She said.  "I wasn't really sure about it when I first heard about it.  But I watched the pilot and I was hooked."

"What made you decide to watch?" He asked, passing a slow moving minivan.

"You." She answered honestly before she could stop herself.  JC chuckled and Rachel felt her cheeks warm-again.  "And I'm a dancer.  Or I was."  He looked over at her in curiosity.  "I danced all through high school and part of college." She explained.

"But you don't anymore?" He asked, picking up on her use of the past tense.

Rachel shook her head.  "No.  I uh...I came down wrong after a jump at an audition a few years ago.  I tore the ligaments in my knee and blew my chance at dancing professionally." She said.

"What happened?" He asked looking over at her, his blue eyes serious.

"Three hours in surgery, four months of physical therapy, and a lot of crying." She admitted to him. 

"I'm sorry." He said sincerely. 

"Thanks." She replied with a sad smile.

"Dance injuries hurt, I know, but I never had to have surgery.  Do you miss it?" He asked. 

"Sometimes." Rachel nodded.  "But that's why I go out clubbing." She smiled.  

"Well, injury or not," He smirked.  "You can still move."

"How would you know?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I saw you dancing at the club."  He grinned, watching as Rachel blushed.  "So, which crews were you rooting for?" He asked, bringing the conversation back to his show they had been discussing.

"I really liked Kabba Modern from the first season." Rachel replied.  "And JabbaWockeeZ."

"Those crews were both amazing." JC replied.

"What about you?" She asked.  "Is it okay to ask which crew you liked now that the show's not on?"

"As long as you promise not to tell anyone." He said with a wink.

"Cross my heart." Rachel replied, making the motion with her finger, a playful look in her eyes.

He chuckled.  "I liked brake skate because of how different they were.  They really brought an original element to the show, and I really liked JabbaWockeeZ from the first season."  He said.  "I'm glad they won."  Rachel smiled.  "What made you decided to move here?" He asked, changing the subject.  "You're from Arizona, right?" He asked.

"Yeah." She replied, her smile growing at his remembering that bit of information from the first day she'd come to his house.  "I got a job." She answered honestly.  He smiled.  "It was just time for a change."

"How so?" He asked.

Rachel shrugged as she looked out her window.  "I graduated and my best friend got married.  I figured L.A. was as good a place as any to get my start in this business."

"Is your best friend the one in the picture at your office?" He asked.  Rachel tuned to look at him in surprise.  "I saw a picture of you with a girl in a wedding dress." He explained. 

"Oh," Rachel smiled.  "Yeah.  That's Megan.  We've known each other forever." She waved her hand through the air.

"Your hair was dark in that picture." He said.  "Was that your natural color?" He asked.  "Or is this?" He reached over and picked up some of the hair that lay against her shoulder.  Rachel stiffened slightly and her eyes widened, but he was caught off guard at the softness as he ran his fingers across her hair that he didn't really notice her reaction.  JC quickly let her hair drop back into place then turned and placed both hands on the steering wheel.  When they'd been together at Jackson and Megan's wedding Rachel's hair had been pinned up.  He'd contemplated at the time just reaching up and releasing her hair (he'd always been a sucker for a girl with long hair) and now, sitting next to her with her hair hanging free his fingers itched to run through it.  What's wrong with me? He thought swallowing and griping the wheel tightly.  You'd think I'd never been with a girl before.   

"Growing up I always loved Megan's dark hair," Rachel explained, breaking him from his thoughts.  He turned and looked at her. "And someone once told me more guys prefer brunettes, so I decided to give it a try."

"And what did you decide?" He asked with a smirk.

"I didn't notice much of a difference." She replied.  "So I decided to go back to my natural color."

"You look good in red." He replied, his eyes focused on the road ahead. 

"Thank you." She replied quietly, smiling at his compliment.  He looked over at her and smiled in return.  Rachel continued watching him as he turned his eyes back to the road.  "You want to take the next exit." She said as they passed a mileage sign. 

"Alright." He said. 

"Can I ask you a question?" She asked as he signaled and changed lanes as their exit approached. 

"Sure." He replied.

"How is it-honestly-to be a celebrity?"  She asked.  He chuckled and blew out a breath.  "Oh, turn left." Rachel pointed as they left the freeway and approached the intersection at the top of the off-ramp.  JC turned his blinker on and pulled to a stop at the red light that awaited them.

"How is it to be a celebrity?" He asked looking over at her.  "You really want to know?"

"Yeah." Rachel answered, genuinely interested in his answer.  "I've always wondered what it's like to live your life in the spotlight and...well, you've been in the spotlight for a while." She smiled.

"It's uh..." He scratched his head and looked out his window.  "It's heaven and hell." He said, rubbing his hands on his thighs.  He looked over at her.  "I get to spend my life getting paid to do what I love.  How many people can say that?  Uh...you know, you get a lot of free stuff, but you've got to go to a lot of events when all you want to do is stay home and sleep.  The fans are nice...most of the time..." he rolled his eyes and Rachel chuckled.  "But the paparazzi are annoying." He said turning the car as traffic started moving.  "I mean, can't a guy buy a tube of toothpaste without everyone arguing the pros and cons about what brand I bought?"

Rachel laughed. 

"It's kind of fun, having so many people know and love you, but honestly, sometimes I wish no one knew who I was.  I sometimes wish I were just a normal guy, that I didn't have every aspect of my life constantly under a microscope." He sighed.  "But like you said, I've been in the spotlight for so long I really don't remember what it's like not to be in the spotlight."

Rachel nodded as he looked over at her.  "Turn right." She said.

He smiled as he followed her directions.  A few minutes later they pulled up outside the store Rachel had gone to over the weekend.  "This is it." She said, getting out of the car.  JC got out as well and locked the doors before following her to the front door.  "They have a lot of really great pieces in here." She said.  "I was just driving around on Saturday and decided to see what they had."  He chuckled at her excitement as he held the door for her.  "I hope you like what I found."

"I'm sure I will." He said.  "I've liked what you've done so far."

 ~~~~~ 

Rachel smiled.  "Well, there are a couple tables I like and a chair I want to put in the great room and this," Rachel said, walking over to the baby grand piano in the corner of the showroom.  She placed her hand on the top of the instrument and turned to look at JC. "This is what I want to put in the front room.  What do you think?" She asked smiling excitedly.  When she'd walked in to the store this past weekend, her vision from a few weeks earlier of JC sitting at the keyboard of a baby grand, came to life.  "Now, I know this is just here for staging purposes and we're going to need to go to a music store to get one for the house, but I saw it in here and knew we had to get one."

JC laughed as he walked towards her.  Rachel watched as his eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips in thought.  "It's nice." He nodded as he placed his hand next to Rachel's and ran it across the glossy black surface.  He walked towards the keyboard and looked at Rachel once more before he pulled the bench out and sat at the keys.  Rachel watched, one brow rising, as JC placed his fingers on the ivories and rolled out a chord.  She turned and leaned against the piano and watched, mesmerized, as he bent his head and played a few measures of a song she'd never heard before-but instantly loved.  Rachel's knees felt weak as he looked up at her a few moments later, a sexy smile on his lips.  He took his hands off the keys and sat back, resting his hands on his thighs.  "It's got a good sound." He said.

"Uh-huh." Rachel nodded. 

"You really want to put one the front room?" He asked, crossing his arms and leaning them up on the music stand. 

"Yes."  Rachel raised one brow and smiled at the picture he made.  "Definitely."  Who would have ever thought she'd been here-leaning up against a baby grand piano as JC Chasez played the aforementioned instrument?  

"Alright." He said, standing.  "Let's get one."

"Really?" Rachel asked, standing up straighter.  "You like the idea?"

"Yeah, I like it." He said smiling.  "What else you got?"

Rachel leaned back against the piano, and looked at him for a second.  "Come on." She finally said, straightening and leading him around the store.  "I think this set of tables will go great with the couches once they're recovered." She said, pointing out the set as they approached the mock living room area that had been set up.  "And," she said turning and pointing across the store, "I want to put that entertainment center in the great room.  What do you think?" She asked, turning and smiling at him.

"Mmmm..." He hummed, looking around.  "I think I need a new bed." He said.

"Um...okay." Rachel said, completely confused.  "That was not what I thought you were going to say."

JC laughed.  "Come on." He said, smiling and grabbing her hand.  Rachel's eyes about popped out of her head and a delicious tingle shot up her arm as he locked his fingers with hers.  Rachel was too busy trying to memorize the way his hand felt in hers to pay much attention to where he was taking her.  Before she knew it he stopped in front of the largest bed Rachel had ever seen.  "I saw this when we walked in."  He smiled at her as he released her hand and jumped back on the bed.  Rachel turned and looked at him, one brow rising as she crossed her arms.  "What do you think?" He asked, leaning up on one elbow and grinning at her.

Honey, that is not a question you want me answering right now. Rachel thought.  "Uh, it's good." She smiled.  She leaned back on her heels and examined the bed.  "I think it'll look good in your room."

"No." His grin widened.  "What do you think?" He patted the mattress.

"I told you." She smiled, making no move to join him.  "It's good."

"Would you come here and tell me what you think?" He laughed.

Rachel sat on the end of the bed, her back to JC.  "I like it."  She looked over her shoulder at him.  JC groaned as he rolled his eyes and lay back on the mattress. 

"You can't tell if a mattress is good by just sitting on the edge of it!" He exclaimed.

"Sure you can." Rachel said, tucking some hair behind her ear as she bounced slightly.  "It's good."

"Lay down, Rachel."

"Excuse me?!" She asked, looking at him in shock.

"Lie down and tell me what you really think." He commanded a purely evil grin on his handsome face.

Rachel faced forward again.  This is bad.  She thought.  This is really bad.  Taking a deep breath, Rachel placed her hands behind her and pulled herself backwards across the mattress.  She continued scooting a few time before she gathered her hair and pulled it over her shoulder.  Lying down stiffly, Rachel gathered her courage and looked over at him. 

JC rolled over and propped his head in his hand and grinned down at her.  "Is that how you sleep?" He asked, his eyes traveling down the length of her body. 

"Yes." Rachel said, crossing her arms across her stomach keeping very still. 

He narrowed his eyes as he once more took in her stiff posture.  "I don't believe you." He said.  "Come on." He said, rolling back on the bed.  "Relax." He said.  He put his arms behind his head. "Get comfortable. How can you tell if the bed is comfortable when you're laying there all stiff and straight?" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Rachel closed her eyes and swallowed.  Her heart was beating out of her chest.  How did I get into this position?  How in the world did I end up lying on a bed with JC Chasez?!  Taking a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, Rachel tried to relax.  She shifted and placed her bag on the floor then rolled over on her side and assumed the position she usually slept in-trying to get comfortable.  He wanted her honest opinion on the mattress and she was going to give it to him.  "Well, I--"

Her breath caught as she felt the bed move behind her and her heart almost leapt from her chest as JC sidled up behind her.  "What do you think?" He asked his voice low.  Rachel shivered at the feeling of his breath on her neck.  She could feel the warmth of his body behind her and when he placed a hand on her hip she thought she'd died and gone to heaven, every nerve ending standing at attention in his presence.  This is ridiculous.  She thought.  Why does he have this affect on me?  I can't keep melting every time he does something like this-every time he gets close or touches me in some way. 

"Show him what he's up against." Megan's voice sounded in Rachel's head.  "Dish it back to him."

She's right! Rachel thought.  Enough playing dead.  Time to show him what he's dealing with. 

"Do you like the bed, Rachel?" JC asked as she felt him lean even closer to her.

Hold on to your hat, JC.  Rachel thought, taking a deep breath.  It's about to get hot in here.  Before she could talk herself out of it, Rachel quickly turned and faced him.  His hand, which had been on her hip now rested on her lower back, while his arm was slung across her waist.  Rachel bit back the smile that wanted to break out at the surprise in his blue eyes. Don't play with fire. She wanted to tell him.  Unless you want to get burned.

"Yeah." She breathed, as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and looked at him through her lashes as she placed a hand against his chest.  "Yeah.  It's good." She smiled.

~~~~~

Damn it.  JC thought as Rachel turned and looked at him seductively.  He felt his body's instant reaction to her and knew he was in trouble.  He didn't want to think about how long it had been since he'd been this close to a girl-let alone one as beautiful and alluring as Rachel was.  He didn't want to think about how he was slowly being rendered helpless as the sweet, heavenly smell of her perfume invaded his senses.  He didn't want to think about just how close her tempting mouth was-how he could easily close the remaining space between them and once more have her lips against his. 

But he couldn't help it.

"JC?" She asked quietly and he felt a shiver go down his spine at hearing his name coming from her lips in that soft, seductive tone he remembered.  His arm tightened slightly around her, pulling her even closer, as he contemplated what it would sound like to hear her say his name in the midst of...a much more intimate moment.  She looked at him, her eyes pulling him in, drawing him closer.

"Yeah?" He fought to keep himself from attacking her, but his resolve was slipping-quickly.  He moved towards her slowly, his body seeking to close the space between them, his mouth wanting to once more be connected to hers. 

"Do you think..." She stopped and licked her lips.  JC nearly groaned as his eyes followed the motion.  His eyes remained fixated on her mouth as she continued.  "Do you think we could..." She paused again.

What?!  He wanted to scream.  Do you think we could what?  If she didn't finish her question soon he was going to have no choice but to silence her rambling the only way he could.  She looked down coyly then back up at him before closing her eyes and parting her lips slightly.  He felt a jolt go through him.  He knew what it meant when a woman did that and who was he to deny her?  He closed his eyes and moved to kiss her.

"Do you folks need any help?"

JC groaned as a friendly voice spoke from behind him, effectively halting the seduction going on-though who was actually the one being seduced he had no idea.  Rachel propped herself up on one elbow and looked behind him.  The siren had succeeded in making him completely forget they were in the middle of a furniture store.  Oh, she's good. He thought trying to pull himself together. 

"No, thanks." Rachel replied with a friendly smile to the sales guy, acting as if the entire exchange hadn't affected her in the least, which bruised his ego just a bit.  "We're in the market for a new bed and we were just testing out this mattress." She finished.

"Well, we've got a few specials going on so be sure to let me know if you folks need anything."

"We will, thanks." She replied.  She looked back at him, her face void of any expression.  "So back to what I was saying before we got interrupted, do you think we could make one more stop before we head back?" She asked, an evil glint in her eyes.

JC narrowed his eyes at her, watching as her façade slipped and a grin broke across her face, her brown eyes dancing with delight.  He smiled as she put her feet on the floor and stood looking down at him.  He rolled over and got off his side of the bed.  "Right now?" He asked, coming to stand beside her again.

"Unless you have something else you want to try out." She teased.

With you..."No, I'm good." He replied walking past her towards the door.

~~~~~

Yeah, I bet you are. Rachel thought as he watched him walk away from her.  She picked up her bag then turned on her heels to follow behind him.  She pulled out her phone and quickly typed a message to Megan, as they wound back through the store, sending it before JC realized what she was doing.

He is SUCH a punk!

And I am in so much trouble...

"Yeah?" He answered, his voice sounding a bit choked.  He inched towards her on the bed and Rachel's entire body felt like it was on fire.  A shiver ran down her spine and her stomach flipped as he continued to stare deeply into her eyes.  She fought to hold onto her resolve.  She wasn't going to let him win this one.  He needed to know what he was up against and damn it; she was going to show him.

"Do you think..." She stopped and licked her lips and felt a surge of female satisfaction shoot through her as his eyes immediately dropped to her mouth.  "Anything that draws attention to the mouth is a good thing." A quote from her favorite movie passed through her mind.  "Do you think we could..." She stopped again.  She knew he was frustrated.  She could see it in his eyes and feel it in his body.  He was wound tighter than a spring and she knew he was going to break at any moment.  Deciding to go for the kill and see just how strong his restraint was, Rachel slowly closed her eyes and parted her lips, wondering if he'd give in and take the bait.  Maybe kissing me will help jog his memories loose. She thought. 

She braced herself for the interruption by the sales associate and the resulting disappointment that always came at this point.  However, Rachel sucked in a surprised breath as JC captured her lips with his.  Her eyes sprung open as he brought her fully against him and proceeded to kiss her passionately.  She quickly got over her shock however, and readily participated in the heated exchange.  He rolled them slightly so he was pressing her into the mattress.  Rachel instinctively hitched one leg over his hip as he slipped one of his legs between hers.  She moaned and closed her eyes again as he tilted his head slightly and deepened the kiss.  Running the hand that had been resting on his chest upwards, Rachel dug her fingers into his hair as he brought his hand up and cupped her face, his thumb caressing her cheek as his mouth continued to move against hers. 

She'd forgotten how amazing he tasted, forgotten how it felt to be so completely absorbed in his kiss to the point of forgetting everything and everyone else around them.  JC kissed her like no one ever had before and she realized at that moment how much she had missed the way his mouth blended with hers so perfectly-as if he had been made to kiss only her.  She let out another soft moan as he released her mouth, his lips trailing over her jaw and down her neck.  Rachel wrapped her other arm around his back attempting to hold him close.  He pulled back slightly and looked down at her, his incredible blue eyes searching hers as he struggled to catch his breath.

"I didn't think I'd ever get to kiss you again." He said and Rachel's heart leapt.  He remembered her!  As he bent his head and once more took her mouth Rachel couldn't help giggling at the thought that passed through her mind.

"What's so funny?" He asked pulling back slightly.  His eyes narrowed in confusion and she reached a hand up, brushing it through his hair.

"You realize we're making out in the middle of a furniture store, right?" She asked.

He looked around as if just noticing where they were.  "No one's here." He said.  Rachel lifted her head and looked around them.  Sure enough, the store was deserted.  They were alone.  Where is everyone?  She thought, but once more JC's lips were against hers and Rachel closed her eyes, relishing in the affection he was showering her with.  She laid her head back, her hands once more becoming lost in his hair as he mastered her with his mouth.

She was a little shocked when he moved to straddle her, but also felt a rush of excitement run through her-until his hands began to wander and his once gentle actions suddenly became rough.

"Woah." Rachel said with a chuckle, pulling her lips away.  She attempted to still his insistent hands. "Slow down, cowboy."

However, JC refused to stop.  She closed her eyes as his mouth moved to her neck again.  When she felt his hands slip beneath the hem of her shirt Rachel tried to move away from him, but found herself pinned-unable to move.  She opened her eyes again and was surprised to find they were no longer in the furniture store.  Their surroundings had changed and they were in a small, dark bedroom that smelled of cigarettes and alcohol and Rachel's heart began to pound.  As he raised his head and looked at her Rachel screamed.  Instead of JC's gorgeous, gentle, adoring, hypnotic blue eyes, Rachel found herself staring into an all too familiar pair of dull, lust filled brown ones.  Rachel's adrenaline was pumping and she frantically tried to get away from him, screaming once more as Brian pinned her arms above her head.

She begged him to stop, but all he did was lower his head and attempt to kiss her again.  Rachel's heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest as she felt his lips on hers again-she'd never felt so terrified.

Not again.  She thought.  Please, not again!

"Brian, stop!"

Rachel woke with a start, breathing heavily, her teeth clenched tightly and her hands fisted at her sides.  Why can't I be free of this? She thought as she closed her eyes.  She felt dirty.  She hated that feeling.  She felt a frustrated and frightened tear leak out from beneath her lashes.  Wiping it away quickly she focused on calming her breathing and her heart rate.  She knew it was just a dream-that Brian wasn't really there, intent on hurting her again-but every time it happened, Rachel was always amazed at how a simple dream could play with her emotions to such a strong degree. 

"Find an outlet." Rachel remembered the advice her therapist had given her.  "When the memories come-and they will-don't let them control you.  Find an outlet-a way to release the pain associated with them."

Throwing off the blankets Rachel stood and, flipping on the light, walked to her dresser.  Grabbing a pair of running shorts from one of the drawers and quickly changing into them she tied her hair back and grabbed a pair of socks from another drawer.  Sitting on the end of her bed she put on the socks and shoved her feet into her well worn pair of grey running shoes.  Taking her black hoodie from the closet and, zipping it over the tank top she'd slept in, Rachel left her bedroom.  Grabbing her keys and putting her cell phone in the pocket of her jacket she left her small apartment and headed down the stairs to her car.  It was dark as she drove through the city and made her way towards her favorite running spot.  She glanced at the digital numbers illuminated on the dashboard.  4:40.  She was going to have a hard time come two o'clock this afternoon trying to stay awake, but there was no way she could go back to sleep now.  She couldn't go back to bed, knowing that Brian could still be lurking in her dreams.

Twenty minutes later Rachel pulled her car off the side of the road and got out, locking the doors.  Putting her keys in the same pocket as her cell phone she made her way down to the water.  The early morning chill, combined with the breeze coming off the ocean made her shiver and she was glad she'd thought to grab her hoodie.  Rachel stood for a moment, just out of reach of the lapping waves and watched the few remaining stars twinkle as they were reflected in the dark water of the Pacific Ocean.  Taking a deep breath she turned and began jogging along the waterline slowly working into a steady run.

After her knee injury Rachel had been warned by her doctor and physical therapists that running would only cause more damage and if she didn't take care of her knee she'd have to undergo more surgery later, but she didn't care.  She had to do something to cope with the memories and running was the only thing that seemed to help.  When she was running she was able to forget.  She was usually in pain for the next few days and often had to spend the evenings with an icepack on her knee, but still she ran.  She pushed her body to its limit, hoping one day she'd be able to finally outrun Brian and the hold he still had over her.  One day.  She thought as she ran, her feet pounding out a rhythm in the stillness around her.  One day I'm going to beat you and you will cease to torment me. 

Coming to an outcropping of jagged rocks she knew well Rachel reversed course and ran back to her starting point.  As the sky began to lighten she saw a few more people venture outside.  She passed some other runners like herself, a pair of middle aged women walking and laughing together, and an elderly man playing fetch with his dog.  As she reached the spot she'd started from Rachel slowed to a brisk walk and eventually came to a stop, bending over and placing her hands on her thighs, as she attempted to catch her breath.  Her knee was throbbing, but she felt better.  She walked up the beach a bit, away from the water.  She did a few stretches before sitting down, gazing out at the water, hypnotized by the steady rhythm of the waves. 

She had found this spot of beach when she'd first moved to California and had made the run she'd just done several times.  However, she'd been so busy recently-what with the never ending design project for Lucy's wedding and being a bit preoccupied with JC-she hadn't been out here in a few weeks and she was surprised to realize how much she'd missed it.  Drawing her knees up to her chest Rachel rested her chin on them and closed her eyes, soaking in the sounds she'd come to know well-the pounding of the surf, the cry of the sea gulls, the sound of traffic as the city woke up behind her-all of which had come to mean home to her.  Sure Arizona was her home state, but she had quickly discovered California was where her heart lay and she never wanted to leave.

The vibrating of her cell phone startled Rachel and she stretched her legs out in front of her as she reached into her pocket and pulled her phone out.  Megan.  The screen read, and Rachel flipped the phone open quickly, worried that something bad had happened.  It was barely seven o'clock in Phoenix.  Megan never called her this early unless it was important.

"Megs?" Rachel asked, bracing herself for whatever bad news her friend had to share. "What's wrong?"  Had something happened to the baby?  Rachel wondered.  Was Jackson okay?  

"Are you alright?" Megan asked.  Rachel was caught off guard.  She sat, trying to let her mind catch up, not knowing quite how to answer that particular question.  "I woke up thinking about you," Megan continued.  "Are you okay?"

Rachel bit her lip and blinked to keep the tears that had suddenly appeared back at Megan's genuine concern.  Her unconditional love and friendship was what had gotten Rachel through the trauma surrounding her experience with Brian.  Without Megan, Rachel knew she wouldn't be where she was today.  It was safe to say Megan had saved her life-literally and figuratively-and Rachel knew she was lucky to have such a friend.

"Why are you such a good friend?" Rachel asked her voice suddenly thick with emotion.

"What's going on?" Megan asked.  "You sound like you need a hug.  I wish I were there to give you one."

"I wish you were here to give me one too." Rachel replied, wiping away a tear that had escaped. "I just went for a run." She said.

"Rachel..." Megan sighed heavily.  "You're going to regret that later." Megan stated.

"I already am." Rachel replied with a soft chuckle as she reached a hand out and rubbed her still throbbing knee.

"Are you going to tell me what's got you upset enough that you're willing to put yourself in pain for the next couple days?"

"It's the same old thing." Rachel replied, sighing and gazing out at the ocean again.

"I thought you were doing good." Megan said her voice sympathetic.

"I was."

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Rachel answered.  "I had a dream last night."

"The same one?"

"No." Rachel shook her head.  "No, this one was different."

"What was different?" Megan asked.  "Maybe that'll give you a clue as to what triggered it this time."

Rachel thought back to the dream that had woken her up.  "Remember how I told you about the whole thing with JC and the bed at the furniture store last week?"

"Yeah." Megan replied.

"That's how it started out.  We were lying on the bed, like we were that day, and right at the point where-in real life-the sales guy came up and interrupted us, he kissed me."  Megan made an interested noise.  "And it was a good kiss." Rachel confided with a sigh, making Megan laugh. "A really good kiss."

"I bet it was." Megan replied, still laughing.  "What happened?"

"Well, we're kissing and then he pulls back and says, ‘I never thought I'd get to kiss you again' and I got really excited.  I remember thinking, ‘he remembers me!'" Rachel paused.

"Then what?" Megan prompted her.

"He kissed me again.  I pulled back and reminded him we were in the store and basically he didn't care.  He kept kissing me, getting more and more into it and..."

"And?" Megan asked.

"And at first I went along with it.  But then...it wasn't JC anymore.  It was Brian and...and we weren't in the store, we were back in that bedroom.  I kept trying to push him off and make him stop but he wouldn't...he wouldn't..." Rachel stopped as her emotions began to get the best of her. 

"It's okay, Ray." Megan soothed.  "Take a deep breath."

Rachel did as Megan suggested then continued.  "He wouldn't stop.   I screamed, but no one could hear me...I told him to stop and then I woke up."

Both girls were quiet for a moment-one not knowing what to say to offer comfort and the other not knowing how to express her feelings.

"I still feel dirty, Megan." Rachel confided softly.  "What's wrong with me?  It's been four years!"

"Nothing's wrong with you!" Megan stated firmly.  "Do you hear me?  Nothing's wrong with you, Rachel."

"Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder what guy would ever be interested in someone like me."

"You've been through a traumatic experience that no one should have to go through, Rachel." Megan said.  "But you've been able to rise above it and thrive despite it which is a hell of a lot more than a lot of people who have been through less can say.  You are beautiful and confident and talented.  You've taken the crap life has dealt out to you and have made the best out of every situation.  Any guy would be lucky to have you."  Megan was quiet for a second.  "You're my hero.  I don't know if I've ever told you that.  But I look at you-at what you've been able to overcome and everything you've accomplished and I want to be like you."

Rachel sniffed and wiped away the tears that had fallen at Megan's admission. "Thanks." Rachel replied, her voice a bit shaky.

"You're welcome." Megan said.  "I love you, Ray.  And so do a lot of other people in your life.  You're not alone, and like I said, any guy would be lucky to have you."

"I know." Rachel said.  "I just have to keep reminding myself that the past is behind me and it shouldn't matter." 

"That's right." Megan said.  "So, what made you think about being on that bed with JC before you went to bed last night?" Megan said, a teasing note to her voice.

"Uh, let's be honest." Rachel said with a chuckle as she wiped away the remaining tears.  "I'm always thinking about being on that bed with JC." She admitted with a sniff.  "I don't need a reason."  Why hadn't she just gone ahead and kissed the boy?  She'd asked herself that question about a thousand times since last Monday.  She'd definitely missed a golden opportunity.  Megan laughed. Rachel stood and sucked in a breath as her knee screamed out in protest.

"What?" Megan asked in concern.

"My knee." Rachel groaned.  "Pretty sure, this was a really stupid idea." She replied as she began limping back to her car.

"I'm sorry." Megan offered in sympathy.

"So am I." Rachel replied dryly as she reached her car.  "I'm meeting with JC this afternoon and I'm going to be hobbling around like an eighty year old woman.  That's just lovely." She snorted in derision.

"Are you okay?" Megan asked as Rachel opened her door and slid behind the wheel. 

Rachel was quiet for a moment. "No." She replied honestly.  "But I will be."

"Are you sure?" Megan answered. 

"Yeah."

"K, so I'll see you in a couple days?"

"I can't wait." Rachel said, smiling.  "I don't think you realize how excited I am to see you."

"Oh, I think I do." Megan laughed.  "Just promise me you won't do anything else to your knee?  Take it easy this week so we can party this weekend, will ya?"

"I'll try." Rachel said, "But I can't promise anything." She looked down at her knee and grimaced.  She could see the bruising already starting.  No chance of wearing a skirt today.  She thought.  She'd really overdone it this morning.  Not only had it been a few weeks since she'd run for this long, but it had been even longer since she'd run as hard as she had.

"Alright.  Well then, I will see you on Friday."

"I can't wait." Rachel said again.  "Thanks for calling, Megs.  Really.   I mean it.  Thank you."

"You're welcome.  What are best friends for?"

"You truly are the best, I hope you realize that." Rachel said.  "I don't know what I'd do without you." 

"Oh, stop it.  You're making me blush." Megan replied.  "Promise me one more thing." She said.

"Anything." Rachel replied.

"The next time you're lying on a bed with JC and he's got his arm around you...kiss him!"

Rachel laughed as she turned the ignition on her car.  "Believe me." She said, reaching behind and pulling the seatbelt across her chest.  "I will not be letting that opportunity pass me by again."

Megan laughed.  "Alright, good.  I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Rachel hung up the phone and flipped her car around, heading back towards her apartment.          

~~~~~~

JC pulled his door open later that afternoon and smiled at Rachel.  "Hey." He said.

"I brought more paint samples." She said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, as she held up a sample book.  He groaned good-naturedly and rolled his eyes as he stepped back.  Rachel chuckled quietly as she walked through the door and he couldn't help noticing her pronounced limp.

"What happened?" He asked, instantly concerned.

"Huh?" She asked, looking at him in confusion.

"Why are you limping?" He asked, closing the door and turning to look at her.  The khaki pants and brown V-neck shirt she was wearing were simple and comfortable.  He'd noticed a difference in the way she'd been dressing lately.  Where at first she had been the picture of professionalism in suits and heels, more recently she'd begun to get more casual and relaxed in her outfit choices and he couldn't help hoping this meant she was getting comfortable with him.  Normally with her wearing heels she was just a few inches shorter than he was but today, with her wearing a pair of brown flats, she only came to about his chin and he couldn't help noticing how nicely she would fit tucked up against him.  

"Oh." She waved her hand as she chuckled, bringing him back to the conversation at hand.  Again he noticed her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.  The usual sparkle was missing and he was curious as to why.  "It's nothing." She tried to assure him.  "I went for a run this morning and kind of over did it."

"Are you okay?" He asked as they began walking slowly towards the front room.  He watched as she grimaced slightly with each step she took.  No wonder she's not in heels today.  He thought.  It was obvious she was in a lot of pain. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." She answered with a brave smile.  She stopped as the came to the newly finished space.  "This turned out great!" She smiled as she took in the room.  JC leaned back against the wall and watched her, a smile on his face, as she soaked in the ambience of the room she'd created.  The room had undergone a dramatic change since the first day she'd seen it and he had to admit he really liked it.  It was open and airy and the whole feeling of the space had changed from being stiff and formal to comfortable and homey-which was what he had wanted.  He smiled as he watched her limp across the room to the baby grand sitting in the corner.  It had just been delivered yesterday and already JC had found himself wondering why he'd never had one in his house before.  After it had been delivered and tuned, he had sat down and played around on it for awhile.  Rachel had been right; it was perfect for the room. 

"Alright." She said, turning and walking back towards him.  "One down, three to go.  Let's go choose some colors."

He groaned again.  "If we must."

"We must." She said.

"Alright." He sighed.  "Where do you want to go to commence with the torture?" He teased, wondering if he could really make her smile.  He watched as Rachel quirked one brow up as her eyes connected with his.  He watched her lips turn up slightly, but was disappointed when that was all the further it went-her eyes remaining dull.

"Somewhere with a lot of light." She replied. 

Something was wrong.  Could she be lying about the cause of her knee injury?  He had thought after that near kiss at the furniture store last week that he had finally broken through her walls.  The ride home had been fun.  They had talked and laughed together and he'd found himself hesitant to see her go when they'd returned to his house.  But it seemed they were back at square one for some reason.  Something had happened to cause her to close off again.  The fact that she wasn't in a suit, however, gave him hope that whatever it was hadn't caused her to shut down completely.  She was still comfortable with him on some level-even if she didn't want to admit it to herself.

"Let's go back to the great room."  He said.  "That's the room with the most windows."

"Sounds good." Rachel replied, following behind him as they made their way through his house.  "I was thinking that with you going out of town next weekend it would be a good idea to work on your bedroom, what do you think?"

"I think that's a good plan." He smiled at her.  "But I'm only going to be gone for a couple days, is that enough time to do what you want?"  He watched as she sat down on the couch, biting her lip as she stretched her left leg out in front of her. 

"Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem.  All we're doing is painting, and moving some of the furniture around.  When are you leaving?" She looked up at him.

"I'm leaving next Wednesday." He said.  "Hold on, I'll be right back."

 ~~~~~ 

"Okay." Rachel said, watching as he left and went into the kitchen.  She sighed.  Seeing JC after the dream she'd had last night had been harder than she thought.  Part of her wanted to beg him to kiss her like he had in her dream, knowing that if he did he would remember who she was.  A much bigger part of her, however, was scared and hesitant to get any closer to him then she had already allowed herself to get.  Every time she let herself get close to a guy she just wound up getting hurt.  Brian had been the last guy she'd let in to her heart and it had turned into a nightmare.  A nightmare she was still dealing with four years later.

Rachel put the sample books she'd brought down on the coffee table and began rubbing her knee.  She had had to fight through the pain all day as she'd gone to her different meetings and appointments and she knew she should really be sitting with it elevated on something and with some ice but, she looked at her watch, it was only three.  After she was done meeting with JC she really should go back to the office and take care of a few other things before taking off for the day.  Rachel heard a few drawers being opened and closed in the kitchen and wondered what JC was up to.

"When are you getting back from your trip?" She called out, leaning her head back against the couch.

"Saturday night." He answered back.  "It's a short trip." 

"Are you excited about going home?" She asked, turning her head and straightening when he walked back into the room.  He was carrying something wrapped in a green dish towel. 

"Yeah." He smiled.  "Put your leg up on the table."

"What?" Rachel asked, confused.

"I said, put your leg up on the table." He said sitting down next to her. 

"Which one?" Rachel asked looking at him with one brow cocked in confusion.

"The one that's killing you right now." He looked at her, his blue eyes serious but concerned.  Rachel kept her eyes locked with his as she raised her left leg onto the coffee table.  JC watched her intently for a moment then turned and placed the dish towel over her knee.  Rachel sucked in a breath and shifted slightly as the coldness of the icepack hit her.  His eyes shifted to her again.  "I figured, if we're just sitting here for the next little while you could probably use this."

Rachel felt her resolve to stay away from him slip.  What kind of guy made an icepack for their interior designer to put on her knee while they sat and picked out colors for his bedroom?   "It's the little things you have to watch for."  Rachel heard Megan's voice in her head.

"Thank you." She said sincerely. 

"No problem." He answered with a grin.  "I know how knee injuries can be."

"No, I mean it." She said, reaching out and placing a hand on his arm.  "Thank you."  She smiled at him.

"You're welcome." He replied, looking down at her hand resting on his arm, then back up at her, the blue of his eyes dark and intense.  He leaned towards her slightly and Rachel panicked. 

"So I was thinking tan." She said, her heart pounding as she leaned away from him.

"Tan?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her. 

"For your room?" She clarified, reaching for the sample cards on the other side of her.  She flipped through them searching for the color she'd picked out earlier and showed it to him.

"You want to paint over one neutral color with another neutral color?" He teased.

"Your walls are white right now." She replied dryly.  "Anything would be an improvement."

"But tan?" He asked, flipping through a few pages.

"Or we could go with brown." She said, reaching over and taking the book from him.  "I want to do something pretty basic that won't require you repainting every time you decide to change the color of your sheets."

"And how often do you think I change the color of my sheets?" He asked with an amused chuckle.

"I don't know." She replied in defense.  "You never know."  She could feel her cheeks warming.  "This is a good color." She replied pointing out a rich brown sample.  "It's a warm color, which is good for a bedroom, and would match the pieces you've already got in there.  What do you think?"

"Chocolate Truffle?" He read the name aloud.  "I think it's going to make me hungry every time I'm in there." He smiled over at her.  Rachel smiled back and he was encouraged to see the tiniest hint of a sparkle in her eyes.  "I like it." He replied, keeping his eyes locked on hers.  It matches your eyes.  He wanted to confess, but bit his tongue instead.  A week ago if she'd suggested this color at the store he wouldn't have hesitated saying something like that to her, but now...Something was different about her and he wasn't sure how she would react to his blunt statement. 

Rachel felt her cheeks warm as JC continued staring at her; much the same way he had been when they'd been trying out that damn bed last week.  Rachel finally tore her eyes from his.  This is getting dangerous.  She thought.  She cleared her throat.  "If you like it, then I'll call the painters and have them come out next Thursday and Friday.  Is Sarah going to be here?"

"Actually, no." He replied.  "She's off all next week."

"That could be a problem." Rachel mused.  How was she supposed to get the painting done if she couldn't get into the house?

"I'll get you a key." He said.

"Really?" Rachel said, surprised that he would trust her that much.

"Sure." He shrugged.  "You're a trustworthy person, aren't you?" He smiled.  "As long as you promise not to steal any of my underwear to sell on e-bay it's all good." He winked at her. 

"I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't think your underwear is going for much these days."  She replied with a smirk.  "Justin's where the money's at in the pop-star underwear business right now, so yours are safe."  JC began laughing and Rachel couldn't help joining in.

"How's the knee feeling?" He asked as their laughter quieted.

"It's okay." She replied automatically.

"Don't lie to me." He said looking at her and Rachel stared back at him in surprise.  "How does it really feel?"

"It hurts like hell." She answered honestly.  "It's going to be rough the next couple days, but I did it to myself.  Now I have to deal with the consequences.  Do you like going home?" She asked, turning the conversation back to him.

"Yeah." He smiled.  "I don't go as much as I probably should.  Do you want something for the pain?" He asked, once again focusing the conversation on her.  "I've got some pain killer I can give you."

"I'm fine." She assured him.  "I took something before I came over.  Is there a special reason you're going home next weekend?" She asked, tucking some hair behind her ear.

JC watched her for a moment then sighed.  "My brother's birthday is on the twelfth and my sister's is a few weeks after that.  Since I was already planning on coming for a visit my mom decided to turn it into a big family get together."

"That sounds fun." Rachel replied with a smile.  "My best friend is coming into town this weekend," she said, looking for any way to lengthen out their time together.  Choosing a color for his bedroom hadn't taken as long as she'd thought it would and she didn't want to leave.  "We're celebrating my birthday while she's here."

"When's your birthday?" He asked in interest.

"October twenty-seventh." Rachel replied. 

"Big party plans?" He asked.

"Sort of." Rachel smiled.  "Megan's pregnant so we can't party too hard."

"Ah." JC smiled in understanding. 

"But it'll still be fun." She said.  "It's actually my golden birthday this year."  Rachel watched as JC's smiled faded and he looked at her, his blue eyes serious.  "You know what a golden birthday is, right?" She asked.

"Yeah." He replied.  "It's when you turn the age of the day you were born."

"Right." Rachel replied. 

"I thought...never mind." He shook his head.

"What?" She asked. 

"I just..." his brows furrowed.  "I just thought you were younger, is all." He replied.

"Really?" Rachel smiled.  "I don't look my age?"

"No." He shook his head. 

"Well, let's hope it'll always be that way.  How old did you think I was?" She asked, curious.

"Twenty-three." He answered honestly.

"Really?  Why?"

"You said you just graduated.  Don't people usually get a degree in about five years?" He shrugged.

"If you go straight through, yeah." She smiled.  She reached out and took the icepack off her knee and lifted her leg off the table.  "I'll call the painters tomorrow." She said.  "If all goes according to plan, you should have a brand new bedroom when you get home next Saturday." Rachel smiled at him as she stood.  "Thanks for this." She said handing him back the icepack as he stood beside her. 

"You're welcome." He smiled.  Rachel felt a little unnerved at the way he was watching her as she hobbled around the table and towards the hall.  "Hold up." He said as they reached the foyer.  Rachel stopped and looked at him.  "I'll be right back."  He turned and jogged back down the hall.  Returning a few seconds later he held a silver key out to her.

Rachel smiled as she took it.  "I might not be able to get much for your underwear anymore, but I'm sure there're a few girls out there willing to pay big for the key to your house." She teased as he opened the front door for her.  He chuckled and Rachel's smile grew as his cheeks warmed slightly. 

"It won't do much good without the code for the gate." He replied rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ah, but you forget." She said as she limped out the door.  "I've got that too." She tapped the side of her head with a finger as she smiled at him.  "If I don't see you before you go, have fun with your family." She said as she continued limping towards her car.

"Thanks." He replied.

Rachel turned and waved at him as she slipped the key he'd given her into her pocket and got into her car.  I have JC's house key, I have JC's house key, I have JC's house key.  She sang to herself.  This day may have started out a nightmare, but it was definitely ending on a happy note.       

"Oh, I've missed you!" Megan said, tightening her hold on Rachel.  "How are you?"

Rachel pulled back finally and looked Megan over.  "I'm fine." She smiled.  "You look incredible!" She stated.  Megan had always been beautiful, but now she glowed.  Marriage and her impending motherhood definitely agreed with her.  Her caramel colored hair was cut short, the ends flipped out in a flirty new style.  She was wearing a comfortable pair of khaki cargo pants and had a pair of brown Mary Jane flats on, while her maternity status was made obvious by a cute, short-sleeved pink baby doll style shirt.  "You've got to be the cutest pregnant lady I've ever seen." Rachel giggled.  "And when did you cut your hair?  It's adorable!" 

"Thanks."  Megan laughed.  "I cut it last week but I don't feel very adorable." She confided.  "I feel like a cow."

"Oh, knock it off." Rachel said, rolling her eyes.  "You're beautiful."

"And you're the sexiest cow I've ever seen." Jackson said coming up behind Megan and playfully swatting his wife's behind.

"Cut it out!" Megan laughed, stepping away from him. 

"Hi, Rachel." Jackson smiled as he adjusted the computer bag slung over his shoulder. 

"Hey, Jackson." Rachel replied, stepping up and giving him a hug.  "How was the flight?" She asked wedging herself between husband and wife and linking her arm through Megan's.

"We survived." Megan replied as they began making their way to the baggage claim.  Jackson good naturedly fell behind the girls, allowing them to catch up with each other.  "I'm just glad it's over." Megan sighed.  "We hit some turbulence flying over Vegas.  I thought we were going to die."

Rachel chuckled at Megan's dramatics.  Megan had always had a fear of flying and it seemed no matter how many times she flew somewhere the fear never went away.  "What did the doctor say?" Rachel asked excitedly, in reference to the appointment she knew Megan had had before they'd gotten on their flight.

Megan looked over her shoulder, her eyes sparkling as she looked at Jackson.  "Should we tell her?" She asked him.  Megan's tall, dark and handsome husband shrugged his shoulders as he smiled back at his wife.  Rachel couldn't help noticing the way he couldn't take his eyes away from Megan.  I want a guy to look at me like that. Rachel thought in reference to the unveiled love and pride shining in Jackson's dark blue eyes.  She made a mental note to tell Megan later just how lucky she was to have found a guy like Jackson Taylor who was so completely in love with her.

"It's up to you." He replied with a grin.

"What?" Rachel asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.  "Tell me what?"

"It's a boy!" Megan responded excitedly, a happy giggle escaping before she bit her bottom lip. 

"Really?" Rachel asked.  Megan nodded.  "Yea!" She hugged Megan again as they stepped onto the escalators that would take them down to the lower level.  "Congratulations!" 

Megan laughed as she hugged Rachel back.  "Thanks."  She released Rachel and placed a hand over her rounded belly.  "He's due February seventeenth."

"Ooh, a Valentine's Day baby." Rachel replied. 

"Ugh." Megan sighed.  "I just hope I'm not in the hospital on Valentine's Day." She said as they got to the bottom of the escalator and walked towards the baggage claim area.

"Why not?" Rachel asked.

"Come on." Megan rolled her eyes.  "How romantic would that be, being in labor on Valentine's Day?"

"Oh, I don't know." Rachel said, as they stopped among the crowd of other passengers in front of the designated carousel.  "I think it would be very romantic.  What better way," she asked "to celebrate your love for each other than to bring the product of that love into this world?"

Megan looked at her with one eyebrow raised in shock.  "When did you become the hopeless romantic?" She asked with an amused chuckle.

Rachel laughed and hugged Megan again.  "Have I mentioned how much I've missed you?"

"I've missed you too, Ray." Megan said returning her hug.  "But, you are the one who moved away, remember?  You wouldn't have to miss me if you'd stayed in Phoenix."

"I know." Rachel said, pulling back.  "But I'm where I'm supposed to be right now."

Megan looked at her knowingly.  "So, what's new on the JC front?"

"Shhh!" Rachel quickly shushed Megan, her eyes wide as she looked pointedly at Jackson.  The object of her focus chuckled as one brow quirked up.

"Please," he said, a grin spreading across his handsome face.  "Don't let me stop you."

"I think I see our bags, honey." Megan said taking Jackson's computer bag from him. 

"I don't see them." He said, folding his arms and looking down at his wife.

"Right there." Megan pointed behind him.  "I think that's my bag.  Look, there it goes.  Please?"  She looked up at him with a pout.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled.  "I can take a hint."

"Thank you." Megan called after him.  "You're the best.  I love you!"

"Yeah, yeah." He winked at Megan and grinned as he walked away.

"Do you know how lucky you are?" Rachel asked with a smile.  "Not a lot of guys would be willing to put up with you the way Jackson does."

"Yeah, I know." Megan replied with a smile as she linked her arm with Rachel and began walking towards a bank of empty chairs.  As the girls settled into their seats, Megan repeated her question.  "So what's really going on with you two?" She asked.  Rachel sighed.  "Has he kissed you yet?"

"No." Rachel laughed.  "I'm pretty sure you'd be the first person I'd call if or when that ever happens."

"When." Megan said.  "When.  You have to think positively."

"Alright," Rachel laughed.  "When he kisses me you'll be the first to know.  I promise"

"K, good." Megan grinned.  Rachel smiled and reached her hand into her purse, rummaging around for a second.  "What are you looking for?" Megan asked.

Rachel's grin widened as she pulled a key ring from her bag with a single silver key hanging from it.  "Wanna see his house?" She asked, a mischievous glint in her brown eyes, as she raised one eyebrow.

"Nu-uh!" Megan's jaw dropped.  She reached for the key and took it from Rachel, holding it almost reverently.  "You have a key to his house?!" She whispered.  "When did you..."

"Monday." Rachel leaned back casually in her chair.

"And you didn't tell me?!" Megan slapped Rachel's arm playfully.

"Ow!" Rachel rubbed her arm.  "I wanted to keep it a surprise."

"Can we really go?" Megan asked.  "Won't that be...weird?"

"Possibly..." Rachel said with a smirk.  "If he were home."

"How do you know he's not going to be home?" Megan asked in confusion.

Rachel pointed at Jackson as the guy began walking towards the girls a large black duffle bag slung over one shoulder and a smaller red bag in the opposite hand.  "Jackson's meeting with JC tomorrow isn't he?"

Megan giggled excitedly as she caught on.  "Yeah."

"And you know," Rachel sighed, "The electrician is supposed to be going over to work on the kitchen lighting and I really should go over and make sure he knows what he's doing."

"You're so bad." Megan laughed.  

"Yep." Rachel replied, joining in Megan's laughter.

"It's never a good thing when you two are laughing like that." Jackson said, dropping the bags at Megan's feet.  The girls stopped as they looked up at him.  However, as soon as they looked back at each other, their laughter returned and Jackson rolled his eyes.  "I'm going to go get the keys to the car." He said as he walked towards the rental car counter.

"Where are you guys staying?" Rachel asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

"The Hyatt." Megan said, placing a hand against her rounded middle.  "Where Jackson usually stays."

"You're still staying with me tonight, right?" Rachel asked.

"Of course." Megan smiled.  "And we've got all day tomorrow together." 

"Is Jackson going to be alright without you?" Rachel asked skeptically.

"He'll be fine." Megan replied.  "He won't even notice I'm not around."

"That's not true."  Both girls turned as Jackson suddenly appeared again.  "I always notice when you're not around."

"Aww!" Megan stood and wrapped her arms around Jackson's waist.  "You're sweet."  Rachel watched as Megan stood on her tip toes and kissed her husband quickly on the lips.  "I love you.  I'll see you tomorrow night." She said.

"Mmm." Jackson said, locking his arms around Megan's waist and leaning down to kiss her again.  "Rachel?" He asked, a few seconds later, still looking down at Megan. 

"Yeah?" Rachel answered.

"You'll take care of her for me?" He looked over Megan's shoulder at Rachel.

"Of course." Rachel smiled.

"We've got a date on Sunday," He said, releasing Megan and once more slinging the large black duffle bag over her shoulder.  "And she better be there."

"I promise to return her to you in exactly the same condition she's in now-Girl Scout honor." Rachel replied holding up three fingers.

"You were never in Girl Scouts!" Megan chuckled.  "And why do I suddenly feel like a child caught in the middle of a custody battle?"

"Don't worry, honey." Rachel said patronizingly, linking her arm through Megan's and patting her hand.  "Come on.  You'll see Daddy again in a couple days."

"Bye." Megan chuckled as Rachel released her arm.  She kissed Jackson once more before Rachel grabbed Megan's red bag and began walking away.  "How's your knee doing?" Megan asked as they stepped into an empty elevator that would take them to the parking garage.

"Better." Rachel replied.  "It hurt like hell most of the day Monday but after JC gave my that icepack it was--"

"JC gave you an icepack?!" Megan exclaimed, cutting her off.

"Did I not tell you that?" Rachel asked in surprise.

"No you did not." Megan put her hands on her hips.  "You better tell me now."

Rachel smiled.  "I went over to his house on Monday to pick out a new color for his bedroom-which by the way is going to be gorgeous, if I do say so myself.  I sat down on the couch and he excused himself for a couple minutes.  He went into the kitchen and came back out with an icepack.  He made me put my leg up on the coffee table and I sat there while we talked with ice on my knee.  What?" Rachel asked at Megan's smug and knowing expression.

"An icepack?" Megan asked.  "What kind of guy makes an icepack for the interior designer?"  Rachel was surprised to hear Megan voice the very same thought she'd had.  Sometimes, it was almost as if the girls were the same person just split into two bodies.

"You tell me." Rachel finally replied.

"I tell you what I think." Megan said as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened.  "I think he's interested in you.  And I mean really interested in you."

Rachel snorted.  "Why in the world would J..." she looked around the almost deserted parking structure and lowered her voice conspiratorially, "JC...be interested in me?"

"Why not?" Megan asked right back.

"Uh...I don't know." Rachel waved her hand through the air.  "Maybe because he's a celebrity and I'm not?" She asked. 

"Please." Megan responded, rolling her eyes.  "Do you remember..." Megan asked as they approached Rachel's car. "The interview the guys did on Donny and Marie way back in the day?"

"Yeah." Rachel said.  "What's your point?" She asked, confused as to where exactly this conversation was going.

"Do you remember J..." Megan stopped when Rachel looked up at her pointedly.  Megan rolled her eyes.  "Nobody's here!" She exclaimed looking around.  "But whatever.  Do you remember Joshua's answer when Marie asked him who his perfect date would be?"

Rachel thought for a moment but came up blank.  "No.  Do you?" She chuckled.

"He said," Megan responded as the girls got into the Jetta, "he just wanted someone normal.  Remember how everyone in the audience ‘aahhed' and we both melted?  All the other guys were naming off actresses or super models they wanted to go out with and JC sat there saying he wanted someone who was smart and had a level head on their shoulders.  Someone who could help him keep his priorities straight and help him from getting sucked into the crazy world he was a part of."

"Megan." Rachel sighed as she started the car.  "That was what?  Eight years ago?" She asked looking at her best friend.  "What's your point?"

"My point is..." Megan said.  "What does that say about the guy?"

"That he knows how to work a crowd and how to give the perfect answer?" Rachel answered sarcastically. 

Megan narrowed her eyes at the slightly bitter tone of Rachel's voice.  "Come on, be serious." Megan said.

"I am." Rachel said a bit exasperated.  She leaned her head back against the seat and folded her arms across her chest.  "More than likely, they knew what the questions were going to be before they got out on stage.  They knew the audience was filled with girls.  You don't think he sat there thinking what the best answer would be to get all the girls in the audience to fall in love with him?"

"No I don't.  He doesn't strike me as that kind of guy." Megan said.  Rachel was quiet as she put the car in reverse and pulled out of her parking space. "What's wrong with you?" Megan asked, watching Rachel intently as she maneuvered the car through the parking garage.  As she sat there, watching her best friend, Megan began to wonder what exactly had transpired between Rachel and JC in the last month that Rachel hadn't told her.

"I'm just being realistic." Rachel answered as she rolled her window down and handed her parking ticket and money to the guy in the booth.

"Realistically stupid." Megan responded, raising one brow in disbelief. 

Rachel rolled her eyes.  "Look, he's a great guy, I'm not arguing that.  He's been nothing but sweet to me since I met him again but, as previously stated, why in the world would he be interested in me when he's got access to every actress and supermodel in the world and beautiful women throwing themselves at him wherever he goes?"

"Why are you fighting it?" Megan asked as they made their way towards the freeway.  "This is your dream come true, isn't it?  How many times have you said if he ever gave you the time of day you'd jump aboard and ride the train for however long the trip lasted?"

Rachel let out a one syllable laugh.  "Yeah well," she looked over at Megan, "What you think you'd do in a situation and what you actually end up doing are two completely different things."

"Don't let Brian ruin this." Megan said quietly.  Rachel stiffened slightly but her eyes remained fixed intently on the road.  Megan had hit the figurative nail on the head and Rachel was suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable.  "There's the potential for something incredible to happen here." Megan continued.  "I saw the way he looked at you a year ago and you've told me what's happened between you two since you started working for him.  Stop fighting it.  Let him in and see what happens.  Don't let the past ruin your future."

"Have you been watching Dr. Phil again?" Rachel asked making Megan laugh.

"Sometimes he has some good things to say." Megan defended herself.

"Okay, then tell me...what happens when I let him in and he just ends up hurting me like every other guy has?"

"And what happens when he doesn't?" Megan answered, folding her arms across her chest.

"Gah!" Rachel sighed as she gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands, then relaxed again.  "Who knew this would be such a difficult decision to make." Rachel said.  "Go after JC Chasez...don't go after JC Chasez." She looked up at Megan shaking her head with a laugh.  "I don't even know if he wants me to go after him so why am I even debating this issue with you?"

Megan smiled as she watched Rachel.  "You've got it bad." She commented.  Rachel blushed as she tried to keep a straight face.  However, she lost that battle as she looked up at Megan, a huge smile lighting her face.  "Is he everything we thought he'd be?" Megan asked.

"Yes." Rachel sighed dreamily.  "And that's the problem."  Both girls laughed.

"I've missed you, Ray." Megan said.

"I've missed you too." Rachel responded.   

~~~~~~

"You know what I don't understand?" Megan asked the next morning as the girls sat getting pedicures.

"What?" Rachel glanced up from the magazine she's been flipping through.  The girls had made it a tradition since Rachel had moved away that anytime either of them were in town they went and got pedicures together.

"From everything you've told me, Joshua seems like such a really nice, sweet guy."

"He is." Rachel smiled at Megan's use of JC's real name in an attempt to keep people from knowing who they were talking about.  She turned her eyes back to her magazine.

"Then why does he give off the opposite impression in his music?" Megan asked, leaning back and closing her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked setting the magazine down in her lap.

"If you just listened to his songs you'd think he was a dirty, sex obsessed, freak."

Rachel laughed, thankful the women giving them their pedicures didn't appear to know very much English.

"It's true." Megan said, turning her head to look at Rachel.  "And you know it.  If you had no reference as to who he was and you just happened to pick up his solo album and listen to it...what would you think?"

"I'd think..." Rachel paused.  "I'd think he was weird." She confessed.  Megan laughed.  "I mean come on...the boy can't decide what style of music he wants to sing.  Pop, R&B, jazz, alternative...you name it, it's on that album.  The CD's aptly named.  If I didn't know better I'd think he was schizophrenic."

"What else?" Megan asked, looking at Rachel pointedly.

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes.  "And I'd think he was a dirty, sex obsessed, freak."

Megan chuckled.  "Why do you think all his songs are dirty?" She asked

"They're not all dirty." Rachel defended.  "He's got a couple of really good songs on that album." 

Megan looked at her with one brow raised.  "Come on, Ray. Even the songs he wrote for the group were pretty scandalous."

Rachel watched as the little Vietnamese woman began applying the bright pink nail polish she'd chosen.  "I don't know." She said.  "Maybe it's like they say: Those who talk the most about it-or sing about it in Josh's case-aren't getting any."

"Hmmm." Megan hummed, going back to her own magazine.  "Maybe you should help him with that." She said, looking over at Rachel, an evil grin on her face.

Rachel laughed.  "Yeah, I'll get right on that.  I mean..." She grimaced and felt her cheeks warming as Megan snickered.  "I'll see what I can do."

"Let me know what happens." Megan replied with a straight face.

"You're such a brat." Rachel said rolling her magazine and reaching over to smack Megan with it.   

~~~~~~

"Alright, I think that covers it."

JC swiveled in his chair as Jackson closed the notebook in front of him.  "Everything looks good." JC said, closing his own notebook and moving to stand.  "Thanks." He said, reaching his hand across the conference table to Jackson when he stood as well.

"There's just one more thing." Jackson said as he took JC's proffered hand. 

JC moved to release Jackson's hand and was surprised when the other guy refused to let go, instead increasing the pressure of the hold he had on him.  He looked at Jackson in confusion.  "What--"

"If you hurt her." Jackson said calmly, leveling his eyes at him as he pulled JC closer.  "I will kill you."

JC swallowed at the intensity in the other guy's eyes, his own eyes wide.  Jackson stood a good four or five inches taller than he was and outweighed him by probably sixty pounds.  JC knew if it ever came down to it he was right-Jackson would kill him.  However, he was baffled as to what on what had brought on this sudden threat.  What was he talking about?  What had he done?  Who was he talking about?

"I don't...I don't know what you're talking about." He finally choked out, breathing a slight sigh of relief as Jackson finally released his hand.

"Do you remember a little favor you did for me about a year ago?"

JC nodded as understanding finally dawned, fear coursing through him.  Of course Jackson would know about the interactions he had had with Rachel during the past month.  He was married to her best friend, after all. 

"Rachel is an amazing girl" Jackson continued.  "And she deserves only the best.  She's been through a lot the last couple years." He said, clearly taking the stance an overprotective, older brother might.  "This better not be just some game you're playing, Chasez." Jackson leaned towards him and JC took an involuntary step backwards.  "If it is, you better end it.  Now.  Are we clear?"

"Crystal." JC replied as he cleared his throat. 

"Good." Jackson straightened and adjusted his tie.  "It was good seeing you again, JC." He smiled.  "Call me if you have any questions."

"Y-yeah." JC replied, sitting back down and watching as Jackson slung his computer bag over one shoulder. 

"I'll see you later." Jackson said as he turned and left the room.

JC blew out the breath he'd been holding and, placing his elbows on the table in front of him, rested his head in his hands.  Well, that was a first. He thought, scrubbing his hands over his face.  He'd never been verbally threatened before in regards to a girl he was interested in.  He felt tempted to get angry-how dare Jackson think he could threaten him!  But the more he thought about it, the more JC realized that Rachel was lucky to have someone like Jackson looking out for her.  There were many guys out there who would take advantage of that.  Hell, a year ago he had been one of those guys-wanting nothing more from her than a quick lay.  Luckily, she'd been able to keep her head on her shoulders and hadn't given into him, and fate had given him another chance at getting to know her-proving what Jackson had said.  Rachel was amazing and he knew it was too late for him to end what was happening between them. 

It had been a while since a woman had played with his emotions as much as Rachel did.  When she wasn't around he couldn't stop thinking about her.  When she was around he couldn't concentrate on anything other than her.  While it may have started out that way, this definitely wasn't a game anymore but could he convince Rachel of that?     

~~~~~~

"Hello?" Rachel called out as she stuck her head inside the front door of JC's house.  She listened for a moment, but was met with only silence.  "Okay, come on." She said, opening the door wider and ushering Megan inside, shutting the door quickly behind her.

"I feel kind of bad doing this." Megan said with a giggle.  "Are you sure it's okay for us to be here?"

"Sure, why not?" Rachel asked.  "He gave me a key."

"So you could let the painters in next week when he's gone!" Megan laughed.  "Not to sneak in your best friend while he's out meeting and going over financial statements with his broker who just so happens to be my husband!"

"When you put it like that," Rachel said with a deflated sigh, "It does sound kind of bad.  Alright, let's go." She said, turning.

"No!" Megan called out as Rachel placed her hand on the doorknob.  "Are you crazy?!" She placed her hands on Rachel's shoulders and shook her slightly.  "We're in JC's house, Rachel!  Ahh!!" 

Rachel laughed.  "Come on.  I'll show you around." She said walking towards the front room.  "But you've got to promise not to tell anyone what you see or I could get in big trouble." Rachel said, in reference to the Non-Disclosure policy she'd signed a few weeks ago. 

"I promise." Megan exclaimed as they walked into the room.  "Oh, it's beautiful!" Rachel smiled proudly.  "So, tell me what you did in here." Megan said, looking at her expectantly.

"Well, this used to be a wall." Rachel said indicating the now open archway connecting the room to the rest of the house.  "The walls were white, the couches were beige and everything was so closed in."

"I like the color you chose." Megan said indicating the dark sage that now covered the walls.

"We like it too." She replied.

"We?" Megan asked, lifting a brow.  Rachel's cheeks warmed and she tried to brush off the reference.

"JC picked it out." Rachel said.  "And I think it turned out nice."

"Uh-huh..." Megan replied watching her closely, a knowing smile starting to form.

"Um..." Rachel looked around.  "We...I." She looked at Megan.  "I had the couches recovered and," she looked around then grinned excitedly.  "And this." She walked over to the baby grand and ran her hand along the top of the instrument.  "This was the piece that drew everything together."

"It's beautiful." Megan replied.  "I can picture JC playing it."

"I've seen JC play it." Rachel sighed and Megan giggled.

"Lucky." Megan drawled.

"Okay, come on." Rachel said leading her out of the room.  "I gotta show you the rest of the house before he comes home and catches us."

"What's up here?" Megan asked as she followed Rachel upstairs.

Rachel lifted a brow as a mischievous grin spread across her face.  "His bedroom." She whispered conspiratorially. 

Megan laughed excitedly.  "I feel like I'm sixteen again." She confessed.  "Who ever thought one day I'd be sneaking into JC Chasez's bedroom?"

Rachel laughed.  "Now you understand how I feel every time I'm over here."  Megan giggled as Rachel opened the door and the girls peeked in.  "I haven't done anything in here yet, obviously." She explained.  "But the walls are getting painted a rich chocolate color, I'm rearranging the furniture a bit, and he ordered ‘The Bed.'" Rachel finished quietly as a mischievously grin appeared on her face.

"Ah, yes." Megan replied, her eyebrows rising.  "‘The Bed.'" She raised her fingers and did quotation marks in the air.  "Are you going to help him break it in?"

"Megan!" Rachel exclaimed in shock.

"What?" Megan asked, innocently.

"Does Jackson know you have such a dirty mind?" Rachel laughed. 

"So what else is up here?" Megan asked, changing the subject.

Rachel looked at her for a moment then motioned down the hall.  There's a bathroom and a couple other bedrooms."

"He's not having you redo those?" Megan asked.  Rachel shook her head as she crossed her arms.  "Why not?" Megan questioned.

"I don't know." Rachel shrugged.  "Come on." She said as she closed the door and turned back to the stairs.

"Alright," Megan said following Rachel.  "So, you've done the front room and you're going to be doing his bedroom.  What else are you doing?"

"Him...I mean" Rachel's cheeks reddened, "...the great room." Megan laughed out loud at Rachel's slip.  The girls reached the bottom of the stairs and began walking towards the back of the house.  "And I've changed the lighting in the kitchen.  I'm moving one of the walls in the great room," Rachel said.   "Right now he's got a small closet that's not being used.  It's just a bunch of dead space so I'm moving the wall back three feet."

~~~~~

JC pulled his Land Rover to a stop and punched in the code to the gate, his mind still on Jackson's threat.  "This better not be just some game you're playing." Jackson's voice echoed around him.  As he approached the house his eyes landed on a very familiar dark grey Volkswagen Jetta and he felt a shot of excitement surge through him.  He quickly ran through his mental files, wondering if he'd somehow forgotten an appointment with Rachel today.  Why was she here?  The electrician had come and gone first thing this morning, doing his work in the kitchen quickly, and the painters supposedly weren't coming until after he left next week. 

Pulling into the garage JC made his way into the house, keeping an eye out for Rachel, wondering where she was.  He heard her laugh and his heart began racing at the prospect of seeing her. 

~~~~~

"That's really going to widen the space." Megan commented.

"Yeah."  Rachel said, looking over her shoulder at Megan.  "And I found this great entertainment center that I-oof!"  Rachel let out a surprised gasp as she rounded the corner and ran into a warm, hard body.  His familiar cologne invaded her senses as her eyes quickly rose to meet his. "JC!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide.  Rachel stepped back so quickly she almost lost her footing.  JC's reached out and grabbed onto her upper arms, pulling her against him.  Rachel placed her hands on his chest reflexively, her eyes slowly meeting his.  As her heart began beating out of her chest the realization of just how close they were began to sink in and she felt a tingle shoot down her spine.    

"What are you doing here?" He asked, with a smile, watching her closely.

"I-I..." She stuttered, unable to think clearly as his incredible blue eyes held her captive.  She had never been a very good liar and with him looking at him the way he was, an amused sparkle in his eyes, she scrambled frantically for a viable reason as to why she was in his house.  "I...uh, well I..."

"Rachel was just showing me her work." Megan quickly stepped in to the conversation.  With the realization that they weren't alone, JC finally released her arms and took a step back.  Rachel immediately felt the loss of his body pressed again her however, she didn't have the time to dwell on that right now.  She had bigger things to worry about.  Like how she and Megan were going to get out of this mess she'd gotten them into. 

"I'm remodeling my house right now and I'm only in town for a few days." Megan continued.  "Rachel was just showing me what she'd done here and explaining what her plans were for the rest of the house."  Rachel sent a grateful look Megan's way as her friend continued covering for her. 

"And you are?" JC asked, his face expressionless, as he casually crossed his arms across his chest.

"This is my best friend, Megan." Rachel said, finally finding her voice again.  She watched as Megan and JC regarded each other intently while they shook hands briefly.  "I'm sorry." Rachel said.  "I know I probably should have called first but, like she said, she's really only here today and I didn't think it would be a problem."

"It's not a problem." He said looking at her again, his blue eyes sparkling, a hint of a smile on his lips.  "I was just surprised, that's all."

"I'm sorry," Megan interrupted.  "But...you look really familiar.  Have you been on T.V. or something...?" She trailed off as she placed her hand on her chin as if in deep thought.  Rachel felt like she was going to die.  She elbowed Megan and gave her a quick warning look-What are you doing?!-completely missing the almost panicked look in JC's blue eyes.  "Oh wait..." Megan snapped her fingers and smiled.  "You're one of the judges on that dance show on MTV, right?  Weren't you also in that group...uh," Megan snapped her fingers as she thought, "What was the name...N SYNC!"

"Yeah." JC answered with a nervous smile.

"Have we met before?" Megan asked and Rachel almost groaned out loud.  Shut up, Megan! She wanted to slap her hand over Megan's mouth.  What was she doing?  Why was she acting like this?  She knew who he was!  She had been as obsessed over him as Rachel had been growing up.

"I guess it's possible." JC replied, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  "I've met a lot of fans over the years."

"Hmmm." Megan replied, still looking at him strangely. "Do you think I could get Justin's autograph?" 

"Let's go!" Rachel said, turning and grabbing Megan by the hand.  "We have to go." She said, looking at JC over her shoulder.  "Again, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He replied with a chuckle.  "Did you finish showing her what you wanted to?" 

"Yeah." Rachel lied.  "We really have to go." She said, opening the front door and practically pushing Megan through it.  "We've got a lot do to today and," she looked at her watch, "The day's really getting away from us."  She shut the door before JC could say anything and made her way quickly towards her car pulling Megan along behind her.  She unlocked the doors and both girls got into the car.  As soon as their doors were closed they looked at each other and burst into laughter. 

~~~~~ 

"Okay, no more sneaking into pop star's houses." Megan said through her laughter.  She reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes.  "I'm surprised he didn't call the cops on us and I thought you were going to faint when he came around the corner."

"I almost did." Rachel said as she started the car and drove towards the gate.  "I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.  Or possible stop."

"Seriously," Megan laughed.  "The look on your face-on both of your faces-was priceless.  Oh, I wish I'd had a camera!"

"I feel like the biggest idiot." Rachel confessed, shaking her head, as their laughter quieted.  "Just when I think I'm making a good impression I go do something stupid like tripping over myself or have him catch me breaking into his house."

"We weren't breaking in." Megan corrected her.  "You have a key, remember?" Rachel looked over at Megan and they both began laughing again. 

Megan watched Rachel as she drove, the look she'd seen on JC's face clear in her mind.  He had known who she was.  She had seen the spark of recognition in his eyes before he'd hidden it.  And, she reasoned, If he knows who I am...he knows who Rachel is.  He was hiding it.  Why, she didn't know.  Maybe he just wanted a chance to get to know Rachel without their past encounter playing into the mix?  Whatever his reason, one thing was clear.  JC remembered Rachel and if the look he'd been giving her friend meant anything, Megan knew it wouldn't be long before Rachel realized that her dream of having JC Chasez fall in love with her was closer than she thought.               

~~~~~

JC turned away from the window in the front room as Rachel's car disappeared around the corner.  He blew out his breath as he ran his hands through his hair.  "This is ridiculous." He said out loud.  First Jackson, now Megan...with the way things were going Rachel would have it figured out as well by the end of the week.  JC walked over to the piano and sat down behind the keyboard.  He idly played a few chords before resting his arms up on the music stand and staring out the window, his head resting in one hand.

He had gotten so used to coming home to a quiet house the last couple years, that walking in and hearing Rachel's musical laugh filling the space had made him realize what he had been missing most in his life-a girl.  He missed having someone to come home to.  He missed having someone to hold at night.  He missed fighting over control of the remote and having to compromise on closet space and deciding which drawers were hers verses which ones were his.  He missed the laughter and the silliness that came along with being in a relationship, the ability to just be himself and not having to worry about what people thought of him because he knew all that mattered was what she thought.  He missed the quiet times as well-sitting out on the porch together watching the sunset, or just cuddling on the couch while they watched a movie.  Mostly, he missed feeling that bond with another human being; someone who knew who he was and loved and accepted him despite his flaws.  He wanted all of that again.  He wanted to feel close to someone again; to feel that connection and know he was the center of her universe.  As he thought back to the way it had felt holding Rachel so close, the way his heart had leapt when she placed her hands on his chest and fearing she'd be able to hear his heartbeat, JC realized there was only one girl he wanted to share that kind of connection with-and she'd just driven away. 

"Rachel, JC's here to see you."

Rachel's head shot up Tuesday morning as Aubrey's voice came over the speaker of her desk phone.  She stared at it for a second in complete shock.  JC was here? She thought.  Why was he here?  She flipped open her planner, afraid she'd somehow forgotten an appointment she'd set up with him, but there was nothing written down.  She reached over and pressed the intercom button. 

"I'll be right up." She told Aubrey.  Taking a deep breath she ran her fingers through her hair, reached for her purse and applied some lip gloss.  As she came out in the lobby, Rachel stopped and watched as JC straightened from his position lounging on the front desk.  Her heart skipped as his eyes lit up and his gorgeous smile appeared.  

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes taking in his appearance as she walked towards him.  He was wearing his usual loose fitting jeans.  Does he have another pair of pants? Rachel wondered as she continued her perusal.  He was wearing a light blue button down shirt with a black jacket thrown over the top.  His hair was gelled and spiked and Rachel wanted to reach up and run her hands over his clean shaven face-just to see if his skin was as smooth as she remembered it being.

"I was in the neighborhood and was hungry.  I figure...we both have to eat so why don't we eat together?  Do you want to go to lunch with me?"

Rachel looked at him in surprise. Is the sky blue? She wanted to ask him.

"Have you eaten already?" He asked, sensing some hesitation from her.

"No." Rachel replied, a small smile forming.

"Then let's go." He grinned.

Rachel watched him for a moment, the unmasked hope in his blue eyes making her feel a bit giddy.  You were in the neighborhood? She wanted to ask a bit skeptical of his reasoning.

"Alright." She said.  "Just, uh...let me grab my purse."  She turned to head back to her desk.  "I'll be right back."

"Okay." He stood, watching as she walked back down the hall towards her cubicle.

Rachel quickly grabbed her purse and walked back to the lobby, smiling in response as JC held the door open for her.  She tucked her hair behind her ears as he led her towards his Mercedes.  "So what were you doing on this side of town?" She asked as he opened the passenger door for her and she slid into the sports car.

~~~~~

JC panicked as he shut her door and walked around the car to the driver's side.  What was I doing over here? He thought.  Damn it!  What's around here?  JC slid behind the wheel and put the key in the ignition before he looked over at Rachel.  He was counting on his acting background to help him bluff his way through this.

"Oh, you know..." He paused.  "I had some...things I had to drop off to someone and I just thought, since I was over here, it would be nice to go to lunch with you." Rachel looked over at him, her eyes searching his for a moment and he feared she wasn't going to buy his excuse.  Finally, he watched as her lips turned up in a smile.

"So, where are we going?" She asked, one brow rising in interest.

"How long can you be gone?" He questioned, putting the car in reverse and leaving the parking lot.

"Well, that depends." Rachel responded as she tucked one foot behind her other one and turned her body towards him in her seat.  "Where exactly are you planning on taking me for lunch?"

"Don't worry." He teased.  "We're not leaving the country or anything." 

"I've got an hour." Rachel replied with a chuckle.  He looked over at her, smiling as he put on his sunglasses.

"There's this great little café I've been to a few times just up the road." He said, pulling the Mercedes out into traffic.  He watched from the corner of his eye as Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear again.  She remained quiet as he drove and he began to wonder if this had been a good idea.  All he knew was he had awoken this morning with the desire to see her before he left tomorrow.  He couldn't explain it and for once-in a long time-he had decided to take a chance and do something crazy, like showing up unannounced and taking the girl he liked out to lunch.  "So, Megan seems nice." He said, hoping to break the awkward silence around them.  Rachel seemed fine around him at the house, but as soon as they were in the car together she closed up, almost like she was afraid of him.

"Yeah, she's great." She responded with a smile.

"How long have you two known each other?"

"Since kindergarten." Rachel told him.  "She and her family moved in next door right before school started and we've been best friends ever since."

"That's impressive." He said honestly.  "I don't know many people who are a part of a friendship that has lasted that long."

"That's because you're in the entertainment business." She said.  "It can't be easy to make and keep friends in your line of work."

"No, it's not." He confessed. 

"That's got to be hard." She said, watching him intently.  He looked over at her as he came to a stop at a red light.  "I can't imagine not having Megan in my life.  She's...she's saved my life so many times.  We've been through a lot together.  I was there for her when her dad left and she's been there for me more times than I can count."

"You're really lucky to have such a good friend." He said, watching the emotions swirling in her eyes.  He found himself wanting to ask how exactly Megan had ‘saved' her, but he knew it was still too early in their relationship for that.  He hadn't earned that kind of trust from her yet.   

"So who do you call when you have something really exciting to share?" She asked, her brow furrowed slightly.

He blew out a breath and cocked an eye brow.  "Mmmm...my mom?"

"Was that a question?" She asked with a smile.

He smiled back at her.  "I don't know." He shrugged.  "When the group was still together, the guys were my best friends.  They still are, don't get me wrong.  We still keep in contact with each other but we're obviously not as tight as we used to be, since we're not together twenty-four seven anymore."

"Is that weird?" She asked.  "I mean, the five of you were together for so long and then...it was just over."

"At first." He admitted, glancing over at her.  "It was nice being able to sleep in my own bed for more than two nights in a row, but I miss the closeness we shared.  Now it seems we only see each other a couple times a year, if that.  I saw Joey a couple weeks ago when he was in town and Justin's got a house here and is always in town for one thing or another."

"What made you decide to stay here in L.A. instead of Orlando?" She asked as he pulled into a small parking lot.

He shut off the engine and looked at her.  "Opportunity." He replied.  "Orlando was the hotspot for music when we started out; but now, if you're in the business, you live in L.A.  I still have a house in Orlando, though." He said as they got out of the car.  "I should get you to redo that one, too." He said as they walked towards the small sandwich shop.

"Hmmm...that might end up costing you a little more." She said.  "Seeing as you'd have to fly me out there and pay to put me up in a hotel somewhere."

"It'd be worth it." He said with a grin.  "And you could just stay at the house."  He took off his sunglasses as he held the door for her, smiling as her cheeks turned pink.

~~~~~

Rachel hiked her purse higher on her shoulder as JC followed her into the quiet café.  The girls behind the counter looked up smiling automatically, as they did for every customer Rachel assumed, but their smiles soon turned to looks of shock as they realized who had just walked in.  She tried not to chuckle as the girl working the register quickly brushed through her hair and straightened her shirt.  The other two girls watched JC hungrily, their eyes taking on a definite star-struck quality as he approached the counter.  Rachel wanted to smile when the register girl turned her blue eyes on her, instant dislike and jealousy clearly written on her face.  That's right. Rachel thought smugly.  I'm with him and you're not.  JC however, seemed unaware of the looks being thrown around because of his sudden appearance in the small shop.  Rachel found it hard to believe his oblivious attitude.  He's probably numb to all the attention.  She reasoned.

"They've got this great turkey and cranberry sandwich here."  He said, his blue eyes focusing on her as she looked up at him in surprise.

"I love turkey and cranberry." She said.  He smiled at her before turning to the girl at the register and ordered one for each of them. 

"Do you want a drink?" He asked. 

"Uh..." Rachel looked at the small selection of beverages offered.  "Just a bottle of water."

"Make that two." He said to the girl. 

"Seventeen-fifty." The girl behind the counter said, smiling widely at JC.  Rachel watched as the girl's cheeks reddened and she giggled when her fingers brushed his as he handed her a twenty.  Rachel fought not to laugh as she imagined herself doing the very same thing had she been in the girl's place.

"Keep the change." He said with a polite smile, taking the plastic table number she handed him and leading Rachel out towards the back patio which was empty.  He sat with his back to the building, giving Rachel a perfect view of the girls giggling excitedly together.  "What's the matter?" He asked as he watched her, her attention shifting to the café again.

"Oh nothing." Rachel smiled, turning her attention to him.  "Just watching your fan club in there."  He looked over his shoulder then sighed as he rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.  She laughed when she saw the girls fighting over who was going to bring out the sandwiches.  In the end, Register Girl won out, a triumphant smile on her face as she came out to the patio carrying their sandwiches.

"Here you go." She said, looking at JC as she placed the food down on the table. 

"Thanks." He said, smiling at the girl. 

"If there's anything else you need, just come let me know."

"Alright."

"My name's Krista, by the way." She smiled at him and held out her hand.  Rachel sat back, a bit shocked.  Really?  She thought.  Are you really trying to flirt with him while I'm sitting right here?  She could see the irritation in JC's eyes and understood a little bit more what he had been saying when he spoke about the ‘hell' aspect of being a celebrity. 

"Hi, Krista." He said, taking her hand and shaking it.  "I think we've got what we need.  Thanks."  Rachel raised one brow as the girl turned threatening eyes her way before she left.  "I'm sorry about that." He offered in apology as Krista went back inside. 

"It's not your fault you're so irresistable." Rachel said with a smile, picking up one of the halves of her sandwich and taking a bite.  "Mmmm." She said, reaching for a napkin. 

JC smiled.  "I told you it was good."

"This is better than good.  It's great!" Rachel exclaimed taking another bite.  "This may have just become my new favorite thing.  You really shouldn't have shown me where this place was."

He laughed as he took a bite, his blue eyes sparkling as they kept contact with hers.  "Can I ask you a question?" Rachel asked.

"Only if I can ask one in return." He replied, placing his elbows up on the table and leaning forward slightly.

"That's only fair, I guess." She replied, opening her water bottle and taking a drink.  "What was your favorite part about being in N SYNC?" She asked, picking up her sandwich again.

"Performing every night." He replied without hesitation.  Rachel watched as he tipped his head back and took a drink from his water bottle.  "I loved the energy of being up on stage." He said, setting the bottle back on the table.  "It was like...the best high, but without any of the side effects.  Do you have any siblings?" He asked.

Rachel cocked a brow at his sudden and random change of topic.  "Nope." She answered as she took another bite.  "My parents bought me a dog one year for my birthday, but he ended up preferring to sleep in their room and became more my Dad's dog in the end."

"Hence the reason you and Megan are so close?" He asked.

"It's one of the reasons." Rachel smiled.  "What was your favorite place you've been to on tour?" She asked.  He took a bite as he thought for a moment.

"France." He finally answered.  "Specifically, Paris."

"Oh, I've always wanted to go to Paris." Rachel replied with a sigh, leaning forward on the table.  "I love the French language."

"Do you speak it?" He asked, his brows lifting in interest.

"Took it all through high school and a few years in college." She smiled proudly.

"Say something." He said his eyes sparkling.

"Bonjour, commemt allez-vous?"

He looked at her in disbelief.  "You took French for six years and that's all you can say? Everyone can say that."

"Yes, but can they say it with as good an accent as I can?" She teased, propping her chin in one hand and batting her eyelashes at him making him laugh.

"Say something else." He said.

"Um...okay." She thought for a moment then smiled.  "Mon nom est Rachel Kline. J'ai les cheveux blonds et les yeux bruns. J'aime écouter de la musique et aller directement aux clubs. Je suis problèmes. J'aime bien parler français à chaud des hommes. Je vous souhaite un indice que vous avez embrassé avant moi. Je veux être votre ami."

He sat, looking at her in amazement.  "Okay, that was sexy." He finally admitted, grinning at her and making her blush.  "What did you say?" He asked.

"My name is Rachel Kline.  I have blond hair and brown eyes.  I like to listen to music and I like to go to clubs.  I am trouble." He chuckled at that one.  "I like speaking French to hot men," again he laughed, "And..." She looked up at him her heart pounding, wondering if it would be wise to translate the rest of what she'd said.

"And?" He questioned, his eyes holding hers steadily.

"And...I want to be your friend." She smiled at him as she took another drink from her water bottle.

"You said all that?" He asked quietly, his eyes watching her intently.

That, and I wish you had a clue that you've kissed me before.  She thought.  "Yeah." She replied finishing off her sandwich.  "Do you speak another language?" She asked.

"Not really." He shook his head.  "I can say a few random phrases in a few different languages, like ‘thank you' and ‘where's the bathroom' but other than that I'm pretty much screwed."

"I find it funny that your last name is French and yet you don't speak the language."

"You're last name is German isn't it?" He asked.  "Do you speak German?"

"Touché." She replied, lifting her water bottle to him.

"So tell me more about you." He said, pushing his empty plate to the side.

"What do you want to know?" She asked.

"Uh...you know.  The usual stuff." He chuckled.

"Like what?" Rachel asked.  She wasn't going to make this easy on him.  If he wanted to get to know her he was going to have to work for it-show her he really was truly interested in getting to know her.

"What was it like growing up in Phoenix?  What do you miss most about home? Do you like it out here in California? What is your biggest regret in life?"

Rachel laughed.  "Wow.  And here I thought you were going to ask me what my favorite color was and if I liked smooth or crunchy peanut butter." He laughed.  "Okay," She said.  "Uh...What was it like growing up in Phoenix?  Hot." She answered, making him laugh again.  "It was...good I guess.  My best friend and I got into a lot of trouble together.  I grew up in a regular neighborhood and graduated with basically the same people I went to kindergarten with.  What do I miss the most about home?  The smell of the desert right after it rains, and the annual bonfires my friends and I used to have.  Do I like it here in California?  Yes." She answered.  "Arizona may be where I'm from, but my heart belongs in California." He smiled at that.  "What was the last question?" She asked.

"What's your biggest regret in life?" He asked.

"Oh yeah." She sighed.  "My biggest regret.  Hmmm..." You. She thought. "Uh...I met this guy at Megan's wedding last year." She said looking down at the napkin she had been playing with.  "We danced and really seemed to click."  I can't believe I'm telling him this! 

"What happened?" He asked, his voice quiet. 

She wanted to look up at him, but couldn't quite gather the courage.  "Uh..." She cleared her throat.  "We kind of ended up making out and then we went our separate ways." She could feel her heart racing and the blood pulsing in her ears.

"Is that what you regret?" He asked.  "That you made out with him?"

"I regret walking away from him." She admitted finally looking up at him. 

~~~~~

JC's heart was slamming against his ribcage as Rachel looked up at him.  He wanted to reach across the table, take her beautiful face in his hands and kiss away her regret.  "I'll bet he regrets letting you walk away." He said quietly, watching as she smiled sadly. 

"I don't think he even remembers who I am anymore." She said. 

Yes, I do. He wanted to tell her.  And I am officially the biggest loser.  He felt like the lowest life form on the planet as he sat there, reading the regret in her eyes.  "How do you know that he doesn't remember you?" He asked.

"It's been over a year." She replied, finishing off her water.  "He never called."

"Who was he?" He asked.

"Just...just this guy Megan's husband knew."

"Rachel, I..." I, what? He asked himself?  I remember?  I'm sorry?  I'm an idiot?  I'm right here?  I... He was completely blown away at what she had just revealed.  I'm her biggest regret?  He watched as she looked down at her watch.  "You probably need to get back, huh?" He asked, looking at his own watch, surprised and a bit disappointed at how quickly the past hour had flown by.  He wasn't ready to let her go.  He still had so much he wanted to ask her.

"Yeah." She smiled at him, though her eyes still pained him.  "Are you going to leave your number?" She asked.

"Huh?"

"That girl, Krista?  She seemed pretty into you." Rachel teased him.

He chuckled.  "And I'm pretty sure she's all of twenty years old.  Call me old fashioned, but twelve years is a bit too much of an age gap for me."

 ~~~~~ 

"Really?" Rachel asked as they both stood and he opened the small gate that surrounded the patio.  "What's your limit?  If you don't mind me asking." Her heart skipped as he placed his hand on the small of her back as she moved passed him.

"Five years seems pretty good." He replied and she bit her lip to keep her smile from getting any bigger as they walked around the back of the building towards his car.  Once they were back in the car and headed back to her office he began asking questions again.  "What made you decide to get into interior design?" He asked placing his sunglasses over his eyes. 

"I don't know really." Rachel answered honestly.  "I wasted a lot of time in college taking stupid classes.  I was really only there on a dancing scholarship and thought that was what I was going to do for the rest of my life.  After my knee injury I had to decide what I really wanted to do.  I took an intro to design class and fell in love with it."

"You're very good at what you do." He said smiling.

"Thank you.  I have a lot of fun.  I really enjoy what I do.  It allows me to be creative and use my imagination."

"What do you do in your free time?" He asked.

"Sleep." She answered honestly.

"A girl after my own heart." He chuckled, making her laugh.  "What else?"

"Suddenly I feel like I'm in a job interview.  I hate to break it to you, but you've already signed the contract.  You're stuck with me till the job's done." She teased.

"I'm okay with that." He grinned at her and Rachel felt her heart skip.

"Um...I like to listen to music." She offered.

"Who's your favorite artist?" He asked.

That is a dangerous question.  "It changes all the time." She answered.  "My taste in music is pretty eclectic."

"What's on your Ipod right now?" He asked.

"I don't have an Ipod."

"What?!" He questioned, surprised.  He lifted his sunglasses and looked back and forth between her and the road a few times.  "Everyone has an Ipod."

"Not everyone." Rachel replied.

"Okay then...what's in your CD player?"

Normally this was the part where Rachel revealed herself as being the crazy, obsessed fan that she still was.  However, as she thought about what was in her car CD player at the moment she felt a bit relived at the fact that she wouldn't have to lie to him-especially since she wasn't particularly good at lying-or confess just how obsessed with him she really was.  Usually she had any one of the many NSYNC CD's she owned in her player, but yesterday it just so happened she'd been listening to the alternative group Simple Plan and told him so.  "What about you?" She questioned. 

"I've kind of been on a jazz kick recently." He answered.  "Do you know who Miles Davis is?"  Rachel shook her head.  "He was a trumpet player and I really like his music.  Do you like jazz?" He asked.

"I don't dislike it." Rachel replied.  "I don't own any jazz records though."

"Well, if you're ever looking for a good jazz musician, remember Miles Davis."

"I will.  Thanks." She smiled as they pulled into her office parking lot.  Rachel had expected JC to just drop her off so she was surprised-though she didn't know why-when he pulled into a spot and got out of the car with her.  He'd been the perfect gentleman every other time they'd been together, why should now be any different?  His Momma certainly trained him well.  Rachel thought with a smile.   

~~~~~

"Rachel?" JC asked as he walked with her towards the door of her office building.

"Yeah?" She looked up at him.

He shoved his hands in his pockets.  "Can, uh...can we do this again when I get back?  Maybe next Wednesday?"

He watched as a slow smile spread across her face, her beautiful brown eyes sparkling.  "I'd like that." She said stopping outside the front door. 

"Then it's a date?" He asked, taking off his sunglasses and hooking them on the pocket of his shirt as hope surged through him. 

"It's a date." She smiled.  "Thanks, JC."  She said and he decided to act on an urge he'd had since she'd told him her regret at walking away from him last year.  Before he could talk himself out of it he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.  He felt her stiffen at the unexpected contact from him as he placed his hands on her back, but almost as quickly she seemed to melt against him, her own arms coming around him-her hands resting against his back as he held her. 

"I had a really nice time." Rachel said her voice low in his ear.

"Me too." He replied as he felt her moving to step away.  However, he wasn't done holding her yet and tightened his arms slightly to keep her against him.  It had been a while since he'd hugged someone just for the sake of hugging them with no expectations-just two people sharing a connection with one another.  As he stood there with his arms wrapped around her, his head bent close to hers, the clean smell of her intoxicating perfume surrounding him he came to a conclusion.   He loved the way she felt against him.  She just...fit. 

~~~~~

Rachel smiled when JC wouldn't let her go.  Alright, if you're not done, neither am I.  She thought as she relaxed against him again, closing her eyes while she enjoyed the comfort his arms were giving.  There was something that just felt good and right about having his arms around her.  Even though she was attracted to him, there was nothing sexual in this hug, and Rachel was surprised at the way it made her feel.  It was like being healed.  Suddenly the melancholy she'd been feeling since her relapse a week ago seemed to lift and when he finally pulled back, his arms releasing her, she wanted to hold on to him.  It was as if she'd found a part of herself that she hadn't known was missing and it was being taken away again.  Her arms now felt empty and she didn't like the feeling.

"I'll call ya." He said, his eyes holding hers.

"Okay." Rachel smiled.  He winked at her as he turned and walked back towards his car.  "JC?" She called out.  He immediately turned and looked at her.  "Have a safe trip." She offered.

"Thanks.  I'll see you next Wednesday." He replied as he slid into his car.  Rachel smiled and stood, watching as he backed up.  She waved as he drove past then turned and walked into the lobby.

Aubrey sat behind the front desk with a huge smile on her face.  "Things seem to be heating up between you two." She smirked.

"We just went to lunch." Rachel replied, trying to sound nonchalant, though she could feel her cheeks warming.

"Uh-huh." Aubrey remarked, unconvinced.  "And what was with the PDA just now?"

"Friend's aren't allowed to hug?" Rachel asked.

"Honey, friendship is not what that man has in mind for you." Aubrey stated matter of factly.

"He's a client." Rachel said, her heart beginning to race.  Aubrey didn't say anything, just sat there looking at her knowingly.  "Stop it." Rachel commanded as she walked around the desk and headed towards her cubicle.  "He's a client and we're just friends."

"You keep telling yourself that." Aubrey chuckled.

Rachel sat down in her chair, an excited giggle escaping as the events of the past hour finally caught up with her.  Not only had JC shown up unexpectedly and taken her to lunch, but he had spent most of the past hour trying to get to know her.  Her!  Rachel Oliva Kline!  He had asked her out again, and had given her one of the most amazing hugs she'd ever had.  Rachel sighed as she closed her eyes as she recalled the feel of his arms around her and the comfort she'd gotten from him.

After wasting another couple minutes replaying every second of their conversation and reliving every smile, every laugh and every look he'd given her Rachel had herself convinced that Aubrey was right-maybe JC did want more than just friendship from her.  Was she okay with that?  Hell yeah!  She giggled again as she logged into her computer and double clicked on the internet icon.  This is so much better than fan fiction!  Logging into her email account she began typing a message to Megan.

Megs,

So you will never guess who showed up an hour ago and took me to lunch. 

Go on guess. 

Do you give up?  Alright, the correct answer is: JC...as in JC Chasez!  And...he asked me out again!  As he was walking me to the door (yes he is a gentleman, I love it!) he asked if we could go out to lunch again when he got back into town.  We have a lunch date next Wednesday!  Ahhh!!!!  Oh, and he gave me one of the most AMAZING hugs I've ever gotten as we were saying good bye. 

Pretty sure I'm falling in love with him (again).  Is that bad?  Yeah, he's a celebrity, and a musician at that, but he is such a great guy.  Every time I see him he is so sweet to me.  Sigh...as always, I am in sooooo much trouble...

-Rach

P.S. Have you ever heard of Miles Davis?

Rachel sent the email and waited, knowing Megan frequently checked her email when she was at work.  As she waited Rachel tried concentrating on the work she had to do.  Lucy's wedding was next weekend and Rachel had finally convinced the girl that it was too late to make any more changes and what she'd last decided on would be beautiful.  A few minutes later she logged back into her email account, excited when she saw a new message from Megan in her inbox.

Ray,

Eeeeeeee!!! (That was me squealing excitedly, just in case you were wondering.)

He just showed up and took you to lunch?  For no reason?  What did you talk about?  What did he look like?  Where did you go? You have another date set up?!  HE HUGGED YOU?!? 

Oh, we have GOT to talk tonight!  Call me!

Isn't Miles Davis that guy who Richard Gere's character liked on "Runaway Bride"?  Why do you ask?

-Megan

Rachel smiled as she read Megan's email.  She sent her a quick replay telling her she would definitely call her later, then googled Miles Davis.  Finding a website all about the guy, Rachel listened to a few of the sample tracks available and decided he was pretty good.  She could see why JC would appreciate him as an artist.  Putting the song that had been on the "Runaway Bride" soundtrack on repeat, Rachel forced herself to once more concentrate on the work she had to get done-a hard task when all she wanted was to be able to somehow fast forward to next Wednesday.  Where's a time machine when you need one? She sighed.

"That I wanted to be his friend." Rachel repeated, reducing the heat on the pasta and feeling a little unsure as to why Megan was freaking out.

"You told him you wanted to be his friend?!"

"Um..." Rachel hesitated.  "Yes?"

"Oh, Rachel." Megan sighed heavily and Rachel could picture her friend shaking her head in disappointment.

"What?" Rachel asked confused.  She had been rehearsing to Megan what had happened with JC at lunch today and the girls had been giggling over everything until Rachel had told Megan what she'd told him when he asked her to say something in French. 

"Um...well, maybe it's okay." Megan continued as she sighed again.  "What else did you guys talk about?"

"Wait." Rachel said, pulling a jar of spaghetti sauce from her cupboard.  "Why did you just freak out like that?"

"It's just...nevermind.  Keep going.  What happened next?"

"Okay...he asked me about growing up in Phoenix, what I missed most about home--"

"You're best friend, of course." Megan interrupted and Rachel laughed.

"He asked me if I liked California and what my biggest regret in life was."

"Your biggest regret?" Megan asked, sounding amazed.  "Wow, way to pull out the big guns there, JC." She murmured. 

Again Rachel laughed as she pulled a bag of salad from her fridge and put some on a plate.  "That's what I thought when he asked me that last one."

"What did you tell him?"

"The truth." Rachel replied.

"Which is...?"

"That my biggest regret was walking away from him."

"What?!" Megan yelled.

"I was discrete about it."

"How can you be discrete about telling a guy you regret walking away from him?"

Rachel leaned back against the counter and sighed.  "This is what I said: I said, ‘I met a guy at Megan's wedding last year.  We danced and really seemed to click.  We ended up making out and then went our separate ways.' Then he asked me if that was what I regretted-making out with this guy."

"What did you say?" Megan said, sounding like she was sitting on the edge of her seat-which, if Rachel knew anything about her best friend, she probably was.

"I said that what I regretted was walking away from this guy."

"What did he say to that?" Megan asked.

"He said, ‘he probably regrets letting you walk away.'"  Rachel answered, turning the stove off as the spaghetti was done.  She took the colander out of the cupboard and drained the noodles into the sink. 

"Hmmm..." Megan hummed.

"What?" Rachel asked.  "What, ‘hmmm'?"

"Just, hmmmm...." Megan responded.  "Was that it?"

"Basically." Rachel said as she poured some spaghetti sauce into the pot of drained noodles and mixed it in.  "We left a few minutes later and...oh!" Rachel giggled excitedly.  "When we were leaving he put his hand on my back."

"I love when guys do that." Megan replied dreamily.

"Yeah." Rachel sighed as she put some spaghetti on her plate and sat down at her small table.  "He asked me a few more questions as we drove back and then as we were walking back to the front door he asked if we could go out again."

"Smart boy." Megan said.  "That means he's interested.  He secured a second date with you."  Rachel smiled as she took a bite of spaghetti.  "When did the hug happen?" Megan asked, sounding a bit impatient.

"Right after that." Rachel replied.  "He just wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him."

"Where?" Megan asked.

"In front of the office." Rachel answered with a chuckle.  "I just told you we were standing outside the front door."

"No." Megan laughed.  "Where did he put his arms around you?  Your shoulders?  Your waist?  What kind of hug was it?"

"A good one." Rachel sighed, goose bumps once more engulfing her as she thought about the hug JC had given her that afternoon.

"Uh, duh!" Megan responded sarcastically.

Rachel giggled.  "His arms were wrapped around my middle-above my waist and when I went to pull back he tightened them around me.  He wouldn't let me go, so I did what any girl would do, I just stood there and let him hold me."  Megan sighed.  "The funny thing was," Rachel mused as she took another bite.  "There wasn't anything sexual in the hug.  It was just a hug."

"Those are the best kind.  But I think it was a little more than a hug." Megan responded.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...okay first off, you really could have blown it with him with some of the things you told him."

"What?" Rachel asked.  "How so?"

"‘I want to be your friend'?" Megan quoted.  "You're not really supposed to use the ‘f' word when you're having a conversation with the guy you like.  That's like telling him you love him like a brother.  Ew.  Who wants to date their brother?"  Rachel laughed.  "I think you could have gotten away with that one except you went and committed an even bigger dating faux pas."

"And that was...?" Rachel asked.

"When you told him your biggest regret in life is a guy."

"But the guy is him." Rachel defended herself.

"Yeah, but does he know that?" Megan questioned and Rachel slumped in her chair as the reality of what she had revealed to him finally sunk in.  "You basically just told him your heart is taken."

"Damn it." Rachel said.  She placed her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands.  "I'm an idiot.  Why am I such an idiot when he's around?"

"Because you're in love with him?" Megan ventured a guess. 

Rachel chuckled ironically.  "And now he thinks I'm in love with someone else." She said, not contradicting Megan's assumption.

"I don't think all hope is lost." Megan offered in encouragement.

"No?"

"No.  The fact that he asked you out again, and hugged you, is a good sign."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." Megan replied.  "Yeah, I do.  Just...be a little more careful what you say around him from now on."

"I don't know if I can do that." Rachel said.  "It's like my common sense leaves me whenever he's around.  I find myself saying stuff I would never say to anyone else, but for some reason I just tell him all sorts of things.  I wish there was some way I could take you with me whenever I go see him.  You'd keep me from saying things I shouldn't."

Megan laughed. "Just remember, guys don't like to hear about other guys from your past.  It makes them feel like they're being judged or compared.  Keep that to a minimum and you'll do fine.  Plus, a lot of guys don't want to fight for something that they think is unavailable."

"Alright."

"So did he look like he remembered anything when you mention my wedding?" Megan asked.

"Mmmm..." Rachel thought back to that part of the conversation and tried to remember JC's facial expression.  "Not really.  He just sat there, looking at me."

"Hmmm." Megan replied, sounding disappointed.

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, um...I was just curious.  Hey listen," Megan said, changing the subject.  "Jackson just walked in and I haven't even started dinner yet.  I gotta go."

"Why doesn't he get dinner started?"

"He's been at work all day." Megan answered as if it were obvious.

"So have you, and you're pregnant-in case you forgot." Rachel said, making Megan laugh.  She stood and took her empty plate to the sink.  "Make him cook."

"We'll probably just go out and get something." Megan said.  "Seeing as I haven't been to the grocery store in about a week and basically the only thing in the house is a box of frosted flakes and a can of tuna."

"Yummy." Rachel replied sarcastically.  "Alright.  Well, I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah." Megan said as Rachel heard her give Jackson a kiss. 

"Ew." Rachel commented.  "You couldn't wait till I hung up?"

Megan laughed.  "Call me if anything else happens with Mr. Boy." She said.

"He's gone for the rest of the week, remember?" Rachel said.  "Nothing's going to happen till next Wednesday at the earliest."

"Alright, whatever.  I'll talk to you later."

"K, bye." Rachel chuckled as she hung up with Megan.  After cleaning up from dinner and putting the leftovers in the fridge Rachel plopped down on her couch and turned on the TV, intent on spending a quiet night alone.  As she flipped through the channels she found the latest episode of House.  Pulling her legs up, Rachel curled herself around a throw pillow and let herself get pulled into the drama onscreen, trying to forget about JC and the way she was starting to feel about him.    

~~~~~~

Rachel spent the rest of the week putting the finishing touches on Lucy's wedding and trying to ignore the fact that her phone remained disappointingly silent.  "I'll call ya." He'd said as he'd left Tuesday afternoon.  Did that mean while he was gone or when he got back into town? Rachel thought to herself.  She hated that she'd allowed herself to get her hopes up, thinking he meant he was going to call her in the next few days and she wanted to be mad at him for not calling, even though she knew that was ridiculous.  He hadn't said "I'll call you at two o'clock on Thursday."  He had just said, "I'll call ya."  That could mean next Christmas for all I know. Rachel groaned.

Friday afternoon the painters called to let her know they'd finished putting the new color on his bedroom walls.  Excited, Rachel left work a little early and drove over to his house, wanting to see if the color looked as good as she imagined.  Punching in the gate code and pulling up the driveway, she parked her car and let herself in, turning the alarm off with the code Sarah had given her.  Locking the front door behind her Rachel made her way upstairs, chuckling to herself as she remembered sneaking around here with Megan last weekend.  She padded quietly down the hall to his open bedroom door, feeling anxious.  It was always a gamble when it came to paint-sure the color looked great in the brochure, but once it was up on the wall it was sometimes completely different than what you had been led to believe.  As she arrived at her destination Rachel was excited to find out the rich chocolate color looked even better than she'd thought. 

"This is perfect!" She exclaimed out loud, even though no one was there to share in her excitement.  The room was going to be amazing when she got done decorating.  The infamous bed that he'd ordered was being delivered tomorrow afternoon, while the one that was in here now was being moved to one of the empty bedrooms in the basement.  I wonder what side of the bed he sleeps on.  She thought as she stood, trying to visualize how the furniture should be arranged.  If he sleeps on the right side, the bed should go there.  She looked at the far wall.  But if he sleeps on the other side, it would be better to have it over here.  She turned and looked at the wall to her right.  I can just set it up and hope it works...I should call him.  Should I call him?  No.  He's with his family.  I don't want to bug him, but I also don't want to have to move the furniture again.  I'll just call him.  What time is it in Maryland right now?  She looked down at her watch.  Four o'clock means it's...six?  Or seven?  What's the time difference between California and Maryland?  Damn daylight savings time!  

Rachel decided to take a chance and just call him.  She really didn't want to have to rearrange the furniture if it turned out she had guessed wrong.  Taking a deep breath she dialed his number and waited.  As the line began ringing her eye caught the large painting that had been on his wall when he'd first showed her around his house lying on his bed.  The art didn't exactly match the new color scheme of the bedroom.  But it might look good downstairs. She thought, her breath catching as she heard the line pick up.

"Hey, it's me." She smiled as his recorded voice came over the line, actually feeling a bit relieved that she was just going to be leaving a message.  "I'm busy so leave me a message."

Rachel waited for the automated beep.  "Hey, JC," She smiled as she began her message.  "This is Rachel...Rachel Kline.  You're interior designer..." Rachel slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes at her own idiocy.  He knows who you are, genius, just spit it out.  "Anyway...I uh, I'm over here at the house and just had a question for you so call me when you have a second.  Or text me.   Whatever works for you.  Um...I hope you're having a fun time with your family.  I, uh...I guess I'll talk to you later.  Bye."  Rachel flipped her phone closed and rolled her eyes again.  Okay, that was pretty much the stupidest message I've ever left.  Tucking her phone back into her pocket she picked up the large canvas that lay across his bed and walked down both flights of stairs to the basement.  She held the painting out away from her as she turned around in the large, open game room, trying to decide what wall it would look best on.  Giving up she just propped it up against the far wall and turned to head back upstairs.  Her eye however was caught by the musical plaques and platinum record pictures hanging up in the hall leading towards the studio and she walked over to admire them. 

When JC had been showing her around the house originally Rachel had of course seen them, but felt it would have been awkward to stop and study them with the man standing right there.  Now, however, she had all the time in the world to stand and take in all of his career accomplishments.  There was a framed copy for each of the albums the group had released that had gone gold and one for his solo album as well.  Rachel stood there, a smile on her face as she remembered being one of the first in line-along with Megan of course-when "No Strings Attached" had been released.  The girls had skipped school and camped outside the store just to be able to finally get there hands on the CD that they'd been waiting years to listen to.

As she moved down the hall a bit, smiling when she saw some of the other awards the group had received, she got an idea.  JC had these pictures down here which was great, but there were other awards he'd received as part of the group that were spread randomly around the house-as if he had gotten home from the awards show, set the trophy down and forgotten about it.  He needs a place to put them all together. She thought, moving back into the game room.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as her mind began working.  I wonder if he'd let me do something down here.  We could do a big built-in shelving unit down here where he could put all his awards in one place.  Making a mental note to ask him about it when he got home, Rachel turned and headed back upstairs.  She'd wasted enough time.  She had a good forty-five minute drive to her apartment from here and still had to go to the grocery store before she went home. 

As she set the alarm and locked the front door she found herself feeling disappointed.  She just wanted to stay.  She loved his house-especially now with the changes she'd made.  As another pang of longing washed through her she began to wonder if she was getting too attached to this project.  Was it normal to feel like this when she left a job site?  Somehow, she didn't think so, but she didn't know what to do about it either.

~~~~~~

As Rachel finally went to bed that night, turning off the lights and locking her front door at ten o'clock she looked at her phone in disappointment.  He's with his family.  She reminded herself as she set the silent phone on her dresser and got into her pajamas.  He's busy.  Plus there's a three hours time difference between us now.  She pulled the covers back and was startled when her phone chimed indicating she'd received a text message.  She hurried to the dresser, flipping her phone open excitedly and reading the message.

What do you need?

She smiled wide when she read JC's name at the bottom of the short message.  Sitting down on her bed, Rachel pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she typed out her question and sent it to him.

What side of the

bed do you sleep on?

She sat there cross-legged, holding her phone and wondering how long it would take for him to respond.  As her phone continued to remain silent, another surge of disappointment swept though her.  She frowned.  However, just as she was about to get up and put the phone back on the dresser it chimed in her hand and the new message icon appeared.  Again, she quickly flipped her phone open.

I'm flexible...whatever

side you don't want.

Rachel stared slack jawed at her phone for a moment before an excited giggled broke free.  Is....is he actually flirting with me? She thought.  Biting her lip again Rachel thought for a moment.  Usually she was the queen of comebacks, however at the moment her mind was blank.  She panicked.  She didn't know quite how to respond to that.  What do I say?  She thought for a moment, trying to pretend it wasn't JC she was conversing with.  What would she have said if it had been any other guy that had texted her that?  Her eyes opened and, as an evil grin spread across her face, she quickly typed a response and sent it back to him-waiting to see what he would do.

You know, I've been told I'm

pretty flexible too. Maybe we

should get together...to see

if people are right.     

She felt a rush of excitement pass through her.  It had been awhile since she'd flirted this blatantly with a guy and she wondered how far he was going to take it.  Again she felt let down as her phone remained quiet.  Either he's a really slow texter or I misread him and now I've scared him off.   But, she reminded herself, he started it.  I was only following his lead.  She tried to justify it to herself.  He's with his family.  He probably doesn't--"  As the familiar song she had set as her ring tone cut through the quiet of her apartment Rachel's heart began pounding.  She swallowed as she looked down, JC's name flashing across the small screen.  Taking a deep breath Rachel answered the call.

"Hello?" She asked, forcing a smile.

"Before we go any further with this game," he answered-the smooth tone of his voice causing Rachel's heart to flutter.  "I need to ask what your intentions are."

"My intentions?" She asked, scooting back to lean against her head board and grabbing one of her pillows-holding it against her as if it were a shield.

"I just need to know if I should go upstairs and...lock my bedroom door for a while."

Rachel's jaw dropped at his suggestive comment and tone of voice.  Has it been that long for you, JC? She wanted to ask.  Instead, she decided to play the innocent card.  "I just asked you a simple question." She replied.  "You're the one who turned it into something it wasn't.  It's your own fault if you find you need to...leave the room."

"When a pretty girl asks me what side of the bed I sleep on, I can't help where my mind goes." He answered.

"That's because you have a dirty mind." Rachel replied, her cheeks warming at his compliment. 

"What did you expect me to do with a question like that?" He asked with a chuckle and she wished she could see his smile.  She could picture the way his eyes sparkled when he was happy and the adorable way his smile made the corners of his eyes crinkle.  "When you called and left your voicemail message I assumed you had something sensible to ask me since you're decorating my house and all.  Little did I know..." He trailed off and Rachel let out a giggle.  "Wipe that evil smirk off your face." He said.

Rachel made a noise of mock hurt.  "I was not smirking." She replied.

"Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't.  And even if I were," she continued, "You can't see me right now.  How would you know?"

"I can hear it in that evil giggle you just let out." He said.  They were both quiet for a moment.  "Why did you want me to call?" He asked.  To hear your voice. Rachel thought.  "It wasn't really to ask about my sleeping habits, was it?" He continued.

"Yes, actually, it was." Rachel said.  "I was being serious until you decided to turn it into something dirty."

"Why do you want to know?" He asked.

"I just need to know so I can put the furniture in the right place tomorrow."

He was quiet for a moment.  "I usually end up sleeping on the left side."

"The left side when you're looking at the bed, or the left side when you're in bed?" She asked in clarification, needing to make sure they were on the same page.

He groaned.  "Do you always make things this difficult?" He asked.

"Yes." She replied, laughing.

"The left side when I'm in bed." He answered.

"Hey, we might be able to make this work after all." She replied evenly.

"Yeah?  How so?"

"I usually sleep on the right side." She teased.

"Now who's the dirty one?" He asked with a chuckle.  Rachel smiled as she relaxed against her pillows.  "How's Maryland?" She asked, steering the conversation back onto safer ground.

~~~~~

JC leaned back in the overstuffed chair he was sitting on in his parent's den.  The party they'd had to celebrate Tyler and Heather's birthdays had been tonight-the last of the guests finally leaving about an hour ago, giving him a chance to check his messages.  Rachel's somewhat scattered message had made him chuckle and he'd listened to it three time-just to hear her trip over her words again-before texting her.  It was after one in the morning where he was which meant it was past ten back in L.A.  He wasn't sure what time she went to bed but had decided to take a chance anyway.

He laid his head back and tried to get his heart to beat regularly again.  Between her flirtatious comments through her texts which had excited him, to the sound of her laughter which was music to his ears, JC was starting to question his own sanity.  The girl was driving him crazy, and she had no idea what she did to him which just made it all the more difficult.

"Boring." He finally said in response to her question.

"That's not good." She said, the happy sound of her voice doing strange things to his heart-again.  "How's your family?" She asked.

"They're good, but I'm going out of my mind here." He confessed to her.  "The longer I'm away I forget why I don't go home more often, but then I come home and I remember why I stay away." He replied dryly, earning a chuckle from her.  "Don't get me wrong," he said, continuing to ramble to her, "I love my family, but sometimes they drive me nuts."

"As most families do." She answered.  "I'm stressed out thinking about going home for Christmas."  Rachel said.

"Why are you stressed out about going home?" He asked.

"Because my stepmother is the Wicked Witch of the West." Rachel stated matter of factly. 

JC laughed at the irritated tone of her voice.  "Alright." He said, sensing the need to change the subject.  "Well, at least there're things to do in Phoenix." He said.  "I'm kind of stuck here and I'm going stir crazy.  Besides the couple radio spots I did yesterday I haven't left the house. Sometimes I don't know how I survived growing up here."

This time it was Rachel's turn to laugh.  "You survived," she said, "Because it was all you knew until you were introduced to the rest of the world."

"Yeah, I guess." He smiled.

"I've never been to Maryland." Rachel said.  "What's it like there?"

"Old fashioned." He replied, leaning his head back against the back of the chair.  He looked around the room he was in, taking in the familiar surroundings.  The rest of the house was dark and quiet-everyone had gone upstairs to bed and he tried to keep his voice low so as not to wake them up.  "It's a typical New England town." He said.

"Let's pretend I've never been east of Arizona and I have no idea what a typical New England town looks like.  Describe it to me."

He chuckled.  "Um, okay..." He shifted the phone to his other ear and slouched down further in the chair.  "Well...the streets are lined with huge old oak trees that have probably been around since the Declaration of Independence was signed.  There's an old fashioned town square surrounding the courthouse downtown and every Fourth of July they do this big firework display down there.  Uh...oh!  There's a lake on the other side of town that freezes over in the winter.  I used to go out there ice skating with my friends."

"It sounds amazing." Rachel said quietly.

"It has its moments." He replied.  They were both quiet for a moment.  "Have you really never been anywhere east of Arizona?" He asked in amazement.

"I went to New York for the weekend with Megan about seven years ago, but that's it."

"I just...wow.  Really?"

"Yeah." She chuckled.  "You know, we're not all world famous pop stars, JC."

"I know." He replied.  "I just...really?"

"Yes, really." Rachel replied with a laugh.

"We gotta work on broadening your horizons, girl."   

They talked for another hour about any and everything-teasing and laughing at each other-until he heard her yawn.

 "I'm sorry." She said.

"That's alright." He chuckled.  "It's late, I know.

"What time is it there?" She asked.

"Almost two-thirty." He said looking at his watch.

"Holy cow!" She exclaimed.  "You should be the one yawning.  Aren't you tired?  Why did you let me talk for so long?"

He chuckled.  "It's okay, Rachel." He assured her.  "I'm a major night owl.  I usually stay up pretty late."

"Yeah, but still." She replied.

"Don't worry about me.  Besides, I can just sleep on the plane later."

"Well, I need to get to sleep.  I've gotta be at your house by eight tomorrow."

"Why?" He asked.  "The painting's done, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but the delivery guys from the furniture store are bringing the bed in the morning and then I've got a couple guys coming over to help me put it together and move the furniture around. Yadda, yadda, yadda..."

He chuckled.  "Alright.  I'll let you get some sleep."

"Okay." She yawned again and he smiled. 

"Good night, Rachel." He said quietly.

"Mmmm...good night, JC." She replied sounding really sleepy and pretty damn sexy.  Leaning his head against the back of the chair he ended the call and smiled.

"You're up late." 

He lifted his head and watched as his mom walked into the den.  "Sorry.  Did I wake you up?" He asked.

"No." She smiled at him as she came to sit on the arm of the chair.  "I got up to get a drink of water and saw the light on down here.  Besides, I got used to you talking till all hours of the night a long time ago."  He chuckled.  "You've been in here for a while." She observed.

"Yeah." He said, fighting against the huge smile that wanted to break free. 

"A girl?" She asked, once again being more observant than he gave her credit for.

"Yeah." He answered, his lips lifting slightly as he thought about Rachel.  "Yeah it's a girl." He looked up at her as she placed a hand to his cheek, a knowing smile on her face as she looked down at him.  She gave his face a gentle pat.  "Come on, let's get to bed.  We're going to have an early morning getting you to the airport by ten."  She put her arms around him as he stood and JC hugged her back.  He stood there for a moment in his mother's embrace and sent a silent prayer heavenward for the parent's he'd been blessed with.  Even though they weren't his biological parents, they were the best parent's a kid growing up without a home could wish for.  They'd done so much for him and he only hoped that one day he'd be able to return the favor.

"I love you, Mom." He said when she pulled back.

"I love you too, Joshua." She said smiling up at him.  She linked her arm with his as they walked towards the stairs.  "Now, tell me about this girl...

Rachel pushed the hair from her face as she stood back and surveyed the room.  She placed her hands on her hips.  Things were coming together nicely.  After waking up and rushing to be over here this morning to meet the delivery guys, Rachel had then called and had a couple of the interns at her firm come over.  They had helped her dismantle and move JC's original bed to the basement, then set up and arrange the new bed and his other pieces of furniture.  The three guys had put in a long hard day and had left about forty minutes ago.  She felt bad for them-they had looked almost dead as they'd trudged out the door-but they got paid for their time and it was all part of being an intern.  You had to do the grunt work to earn your place in the business.  Rachel looked at her watch.  Four o'clock.  You know what would look really good in here?  A bonzi tree.  But where do I find one of those?  Rachel pulled the phone from her pocket.

Where do I find

a bonzi tree?

She sent the text and waited for Megan's response.  Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out.

What the hell?

What do you need

a bonzi tree for?

Rachel laughed at Megan's response. 

I just got an idea

for JC's room.  I

need a bonzi tree.

Rachel sent the text and looked at her watch.  If I leave now I could run to the store and be back in an hour.  Rachel didn't know what time JC's flight got in but hopefully she would be able to get what she needed, get back here and get the room done before he got home.

I would try a garden

center somewhere like

Walmart or Home Depot.

Rachel tried to think where a Home Depot was in relation to JC's house. 

Thanks!

Gathering her hair with her hands and putting it in a pony tail holder Rachel jogged down the stairs and locked the front door.  Sliding into her car she flipped on the radio and got excited when she heard the familiar beat of "SexyBack" on the dance station she usually listened to.  Cranking the volume Rachel smiled. 

"I'm bringin' sexy back..." Justin's voice sang out.

"Oh, yes you did." Rachel remarked then laughed at herself.  Here she was, lusting after Justin Timberlake when she had the one and only JC Chasez possibly interested in her.  Mmmm...she thought, mentally weighing the two men against each other in her head.  JC...Justin...JC...Justin...Justin did bring sexy back.  What has JC brought back? She laughed.  "Okay, there's really no comparison." She said out loud.  Justin may be hella sexy, but JC was charming and sweet and adorable and apparently interested in her.  Jessica can have Justin.  Rachel thought as she exited the gate and made her way towards town.

An hour later, after going to three garden centers, two home stores, and the mall Rachel once again let herself into JC's house, her arms laden down with bags as she tried to balance the one and only bonzi tree the city apparently had.  Locking the door behind her she made her way back up to his bedroom.  Depositing her bags on the bed she placed the tree on his dresser.  Returning to the bags on the bed Rachel withdrew the rectangular shaped mirror she'd found at a store in the mall.  Grabbing the hammer she'd brought this morning and set in the corner, she hung the mirror above his dresser.  Stepping back Rachel smiled in satisfaction.  "This is looking good." She said aloud.  "I need some music.  He's got to have a stereo around here somewhere."

Looking around Rachel pursed her lips as she thought.  If I were JC Chasez's stereo where would I be?  She thought for a moment.  The bathroom maybe?  She stepped into the enormous bathroom the man had.  Bingo! She thought as she spied a control panel on the wall by the vanity.  After pressing a few buttons, Rachel tuned the built in radio to one of the local pop stations and went back to finishing his room.

~~~~~~ 

"Yeah, Mom, I'm home." JC spoke, holding his phone up to his ear, his left elbow propped against the window of his Mercedes as he drove into his garage. 

"When are we going to see you again?" Karen asked.

"I don't know." He said, trying to stifle a yawn.  "Sorry, I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"Well, it's no wonder with how late you stayed up talking to Rachel last night." His mother chuckled and JC smiled as he parked his car.  "Thanks for calling." She said.

He told his mother good-bye then, grabbing his bag from the back seat of his car, headed into the house.  Opening the door to the kitchen he was concerned when the alarm didn't start beeping.  Rachel must have forgotten to set it when she left.  He thought.  Walking through the kitchen and across the foyer he checked the front door just to be sure.  Locked.  Hmmm.  Oh well.  No harm done. He shrugged and, hiking the strap of his duffle bag higher on his shoulder, walked upstairs wondering what his bedroom looked like and if he would like it.  As he made his way down the hall he heard the radio playing.  Feeling anxiousness sweep through him he silently dropped his bag to the floor and cautiously made his way towards the open door.  Reaching into his pocket JC grabbed his cell phone-intent on calling the cops on whomever had managed to get past all his security measures and was now going through his bedroom.

As he crept forward the last few steps his heart skipped when he heard a familiar voice start singing along with the Sheryl Crow song currently playing on the radio. 

Well maybe nothin' lasts forever
Even when you stay together
I don't need forever after
It's your laughter won't let me go
So I'm holding on this way.

JC leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom, his fingers releasing his cell phone as he brought his arms up and folded them across his chest.  He watched, mesmerized, as Rachel continued singing-dancing along with her back to him as she finished pulling up the bedspread on the new bed he'd ordered and tossing a couple throw pillows against the headboard-a slow smile spreading across his face.

JC let his eyes wander around the room as well, impressed with what she'd done.  He liked the color on the walls, and the way she'd rearranged his furniture.  He watched as she danced towards the dresser, her hands reaching out, shifting a medium sized bonzi plant on the dresser slightly.  He smiled as she brushed some of the hair that had escaped her pony tail from her face.  His eyes traveled over her, admiring the way she looked in her jeans.  He'd only seen her wear jeans once before-that night at the club-and he decided that was a crime.  Rachel's butt looked great in jeans.

Did you know, could you tell
You were the only one
That I ever loved
Now everything's so wrong

Did you see me walking by?
Did it ever make you cry?

You're my favorite mistake
You're my favorite mistake
You're my favorite mistake.

The words of the song she was singing hit him and his smile faded as he thought of them in conjunction with the regret she had revealed to him last week.  "I regret walking away from him." She had confessed.  He wondered, as her body kept moving to the beat, if she realized exactly what she was singing.  Did the words of the song mean anything to her or were they just lyrics to a song?   

As the song ended she placed her hands on her hips and stepped back from the dresser, surveying the room.  He startled as she suddenly let out a gasp-her eyes finding him in the mirror above the dresser.  She whirled around placing a hand against her heart as she leaned back against the piece of furniture.  "How long have you been standing there?" She asked.

"Long enough to catch the end of the concert." He replied with a grin, straightening and walking into the room.  "You've got a great voice.  That was a good song for you.  It's right in your range." He watched as her cheeks warmed.  

"Suddenly I feel like I'm on American Idol, being critiqued by the judges." She replied with smile.

"Well, I am a reality show judge, you know.  And I do know a thing or two about singing." He replied making her laugh as he looked around the room again.

~~~~~

Rachel pulled her bottom lip between her teeth nervously as she watched JC walk across the room.  She was anxious to know what he thought of the room.  When he remained quiet, his eyes taking in all the changes she began to worry.  Maybe he didn't like it.  Would he tell her if he didn't like it?  "So...?" She asked finally as he stopped next to the bed, unable to bear the silence anymore.

"Good job." He smiled at her, sending her heart fluttering. 

"Yeah?" She asked suddenly feeling extremely pleased with herself.

"Yeah." He nodded, flopping back on the bed. 

Rachel smiled as he looked over at her.  "So I was wondering..." She paused.

"What?" He asked, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Nevermind." She said, suddenly unsure of how he would react to her idea for downstairs and deciding to find another time to bring it up with him.

"Well, I was wondering," He said.  "Since MTV is coming, it might look kind of weird if only a few rooms look like this," he spread is arms to indicate the drastic change his bedroom had undergone over the weekend, "While the rest of the house is still beige and boring.  How would you feel about doing the rest of the house for me?"

"Really?" Rachel asked in surprise, straightening. 

"Really." He grinned at her.  

"I'd love to." She smiled.  "I was actually going to ask you if you would mind if I did something downstairs in the game room."

"What did you have in mind?" He asked. 

"A new built in shelving unit for all your awards." She answered, worried about what he would think.

"You want to make some sort of a shrine down there?" He asked, cocking one brow.

"Well..." She looked at him, trying to read his facial expressions.  "No.  It's just...I though it would be nice to put all your awards in one place.  I walk around and notice them here and there and I just thought...you hate it, don't you?  Be honest."

He grimaced.  "I don't want to build a shrine to myself." He said, swinging his legs off the bed and standing.  "That's why I haven't ever put them all in one place before."

"I wasn't thinking of it as a shrine." She tried to explain, looking down at her hands as he walked towards her.  "Like I said it was just an idea I had.  But I've got others."

"Is this real?" He asked coming to stand beside her as he gestured to the bonzi tree.

"Yeah." She smiled. 

"I don't do so well with plants." He admitted, looking a bit worried. 

"It's just a little bonzi tree, JC.  They're pretty low maintenance."

"But aren't you supposed to trim it or something, all the time?" He asked. 

"Yes.  But I've heard it's very therapeutic.  You might enjoy it." She patted his arm.  He looked down at where her hand rested against him as she continued.  "I can buy you a book if you want." She offered with a grin, removing her hand.  He placed a hand on the dresser as he leaned towards her slightly.  "Were you able to get any sleep on the plane?" She asked, noticing the tiredness in his eyes.

"Some." He replied, his eyes searching hers.  Rachel's heart began to pound as he leaned even closer to her.  She tried to think of a reason why she shouldn't let him kiss her, but as she watched his head lower she found herself leaning towards him as well.  "Rachel?" He asked.

"Yeah?" She breathed, her eyes slowly closing.

"I..." He paused and just when she thought he was going to kiss her, her phone chimed in her pocket-startling them and breaking the spell they'd been under.  JC cleared his throat as he stepped away from her.  He brought a hand up, rubbing the back of his neck, watching her as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

So did you find

your bonzi tree? 

Incredible timing, Megs.  Rachel thought sarcastically as she returned the phone to her pocket.  She watched as JC left the room, returning seconds later, a large black duffle bag in one hand.  He tossed it onto the bed as he smiled at her. 

"Well, I uh...I better get going."  Rachel walked around the room, gathering the tools she'd brought and picking up the shopping bags she'd just tossed in the corner.  "You've got to get unpacked and I know you're probably exhausted."

"You don't have to leave." He stated with a small smile.  Yes.  Yes I do. Rachel thought as she made her way towards the door.  It's dangerous being in here with you.  "Are you done?  I don't want to stop you if there was still something you were working on."

"Nope." Rachel replied.  "I'm done in here."

"Sit down." He said, gesturing to the bed next to him.

No, bad things happen with on this bed with you...actually, really good things happen but they're bad for my hormones.  Rachel stood, looking at him for a second.  She really didn't want to go-she wanted to spend time with him-but she knew he must be dead on his feet.  He'd stayed up till two-thirty talking with her this morning then had spent all day traveling.  However, as she continued standing, he gestured with his head towards the bed, an adorable grin on his face.  Apparently he wanted to spend time with her as well, and who was she to tell him no?   Rachel felt a bit giddy as she gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.  It had been a while-a long while since a guy had been this genuinely interested in her and she wanted to pinch herself to make sure this was real.   

"So, two down?" He asked.

"Huh?" Rachel asked confused.

"Two rooms down." He clarified.

"Oh, right." Rachel said with a smile.  "Yeah, two down."

"Are we still on for Wednesday?" He asked, taking an armful of clothes from the bag and dumping them on the bed. 

 ~~~~~ 

"Of course." Rachel said smiling as he took out a couple pairs of shoes from the bottom of the bag and dropped them to the floor beside him.  JC watched as she pulled her legs up on the bed and crossed them beneath her, and couldn't help grinning at the picture of comfort she made.  He had been curious to see how things would be between them after their conversation last night and he was excited that she seemed more relaxed around him now.   "We can talk about what you want to do with the rest of the house over lunch or..." She paused.

"Or?"

"Or...I'm free Monday afternoon if you want to get together before that." She smiled at him as she leaned back on her hands.  JC swallowed hoping his desire for her wasn't as obvious as he felt it was.  Baby, you have no idea how badly I want to get together with you.  He cleared his throat and grabbed a couple of his shirts.

"Monday it is." He grinned at her as he walked towards the closet.

"How long is the flight from L.A. to Maryland?" Rachel asked as he stepped into the closet.

"Eight hours." He replied, hanging up the shirts and walking back into the room.  "Give or...take..." He trailed off when he saw Rachel had moved and was now lying on her stomach across the bed, her head propped in her hands as she looked at him.  He wanted to ask her if she had any idea what she was doing to him.  Was she trying to test him or was she really that naïve and innocent?  Did she have any idea the thoughts he was having?  The way he was dying to join her on the bed and finish what they'd started at the furniture store?  They were alone-there would be no salesmen to interrupt them this time-and his body vividly recalled what it had felt like to hold her close while lying on this bed.  

"Give or take what?" She asked, breaking him from his dangerous thoughts. 

"How many stops there are." He choked out, finally forcing his feet to move.  He came to stand next to the bed, fighting the devil on his shoulder tempting him to crawl up there next to her. 

"How many stops did you have?" She asked, looking up at him.  Her curious brown eyes did strange things to his heart and made his stomach flip. 

"One." He replied quickly grabbing his shaving kit and toothbrush from the duffle and walking around the bed to the bathroom.  Setting the items on the counter JC put his hands down on the cool granite, his fingers gripping the edge as he hung his head.  Counting to ten...then twenty he concentrated, taking a few deep breaths, attempting to cool his body's response to the beautiful woman in the next room.

"What do you do to pass the time?" She asked.

"Sleep." He called out.  Finally feeling in control of himself he put his toothbrush in the holder and walked back into the room.  "Or read."

"I know you like Mitch Albom," Rachel said.  "What other books do you like?"

"Whatever catches my eye at the gift shop." He replied with a shrug.

"What caught your eye today?" She asked.  You.  He thought as he reached into his bag and tossed a paperback at her, sliding his now empty bag under the bed.  "The Innocent Man." She read aloud the title of the John Grisham novel he'd purchased.  "Is it good?"

"I only made it through the first chapter before I fell asleep." He admitted.

"Because you were tired or because the book was boring?" She asked looking up at him, her eyes sparkling teasingly.

"Because I was tired." He replied with a smile.  "See, I was up kinda late last night talking to this girl..." He winked at her.

"Oh yeah?" Rachel asked with a smile as she got up from the bed.

"Yeah, and she just kept talking and talking and talking..." He rolled his eyes and imitated someone talking with his hand.

Rachel gasped as she smiled.  "Oh!" She slapped his arm playfully.  "You were the one who kept getting off on all those random tangents, Mr. I-Wanna-Be-The-Invisible-Man." She said, rolling her eyes.  He laughed and grabbed her hand as she moved to walk away. 

"Wait.  Don't go." He said turning and facing her.  "I was just teasing."

"I know." She said with a smile.  "But I've been here all day working and..." she stifled a yawn with her free hand.  "Oh, sorry.  I'm kinda tired."

"Late night?" He teased.

"Yeah." She smiled up at him.  "But it was worth it." 

He smiled as they began moving towards the door.  Threading his fingers with hers JC kept a hold of Rachel's hand while they walked downstairs and out to her car. 

"Have a good night." He said, opening the driver's side door for her.

"Thanks." She smiled before she slid behind the wheel, her fingers sliding from his.  "I'll see you on Monday."

"Bye." He waved as she left then turned back to the house, recalling the easy and natural way it felt to hold her hand and chuckling at the way she had been teasing him as they talked.  Locking the front door and heading back upstairs JC found himself counting the hours till he saw her again.     

~~~~~~

"I still want to do some shelves downstairs." Rachel said, Monday afternoon.  They were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table-design catalogues and magazines spread out between them.  "Do you have anything else we could put down there?"

"Uh..." He furrowed his brow as he thought for a moment. 

"Do you have a collection of anything?" Rachel asked, placing the end of her pen in her mouth.  "Sports memorabilia?  Shot glasses?  Snow globes from around the world?" She grinned as he chuckled.

"I've got a collection of Hard Rock Café menus." He offered.

"Hmmm..." Rachel hummed as she thought.  "That could work.  How many do you have?"

He shrugged.  "I have no idea.  I pick one up whenever I go to a new one."

Rachel nodded her head, a smile spreading as an idea began forming.  "Are they somewhere you can pull them out?"

"Sure." He replied.  "What are you thinking?"

"I'll let you know when I'm done formulating." She smiled as she flipped to an empty page in her notebook and began sketching.

"Okay." He chuckled. 

"Can I ask you a question?" She inquired after a few moments of silence. 

"Sure." He replied, idly flipping through one of the catalogues she'd brought.

"Why are all your songs dirty?" Rachel asked.

JC looked up from the catalogue, in surprise.  "That...uh, do you always get this personal with your clients?" He asked, a bit taken back.

She smiled at him as she shrugged.  They both knew he was more than just a client.  "I'm just curious." She said.  Again she stuck the end of her pen in her mouth.  "You don't have to answer, but..."

"But..." He mimicked looking back at the catalogue in his hands, continuing to flip pages and refusing to meet her eyes. 

"But I really want you to." She said.  He remained quiet.  "Are you ever embarrassed to know your mom may be listening to your music?" She asked.

"My family loves and supports me in whatever I do." He answered confidently without looking up at her.

"Yeah, but still." Rachel continued to prod, "Doesn't it embarrass you?  At all?  Even a little?"

"Nope." He looked across at her.  Rachel sat looking at him, staring into his blue eyes, trying to decide if he was telling her the truth.  "I don't have to defend myself to you." He declared.

"But if you did?" She asked.

"If I did," he raised an arrogant brow, "I'd tell you that I liked what I put out and more than a few people liked it as well.  It did pretty well."

"Hmmm." Rachel said, pursing her lips and placing her chin in her hand as she leaned on the table.  "And remind me, JC...where exactly is your album on the charts these days?"

"Okay, you know what?" He said in irritation, finally laying the catalogue open on the table and leaning towards her.  Rachel tried to keep a straight face, but a giggle escaped as he pointed a stern finger at her.  "No one said you had to listen to my music.  If it's offensive to you, don't buy it." He argued.  

"Easy, Tiger." She said holding up her hands in surrender and looking back at her sketch book.  They were both silent as he picked up the catalogue again.  She could tell he was agitated by the violent way he was turning pages, but she couldn't help pushing his buttons just a little more, digging just a little further.  He intrigued her to no end and she felt an overwhelming urge to get to know who he really was as a person-not just the celebrity she'd first fallen in love with twelve years ago. 

"You know..." She drawled.

~~~~~

JC groaned and once more placed the catalogue on the table.  Rachel looked up at him with her big brown eyes and he wanted nothing more than to wipe that innocent look from her face.  He was so frustrated right now he didn't know if he wanted to strangle her or kiss her senseless and it didn't help that the entire time she'd been sitting there across from him he'd been unable to concentrate on the task at hand.  He was supposed to be giving her ideas for the game room and guest bedrooms downstairs, but he'd been flipping through this particular catalogue for the past twenty minutes, his mind unable to concentrate.  There she sat, her legs drawn up Indian style beneath her, her long hair pulled back in a no nonsense ponytail-making his fingers itch to reach over and release it-her brow furrowed slightly as she bent over her sketch pad, and that damn perfume she wore completely immobilizing him.    

"I just think," she continued, "you'd have been a lot more successful in your solo career if you'd kept it a little cleaner.  I think you forgot that most of your fans were still young when you guys went on hiatus and you started doing your own thing." 

"Thank you, Dr. Phil." He replied sarcastically.

"Don't get me wrong." She said propping her elbow back up on the table and resting her chin once more in her hand.  "I'll be the first to admit that I'm a fan of some of the more scandalous songs you wrote for the group but those aren't my favorite songs of yours.  As a fan..." She hesitated.

"As a fan?" He prompted realizing that her opinion mattered to him.  As much as he wanted to feel irritated at her for sitting there, criticizing his music...he couldn't.  As much as he knew he should be weirded out by Rachel sitting there admitting she was a fan...he wasn't.  This was normally the part where he tried to cut ties with a girl, knowing she was only interested in him because of his status and the fact that she'd been idolizing him since she was a teenager.  However, over the last several weeks Rachel had proven she was interested in him as a person, keeping the fact that she knew who he was and that she was fan out of the equation as they'd been getting to know each other. 

"I was disappointed." She admitted. 

"Because you wanted another N SYNC album?" He guessed, rolling his eyes.  This was nothing he hadn't heard before.  A lot of the fan mail he'd received before and since he'd released Schizophrenic was nothing but fans wanting to know when the group was going to get back together. 

"No." She said, shaking her head.  "No.  I was thrilled that you were releasing a solo album.  I mean, what could be better than an entire CD with just your voice on it?" She smiled at him.  "But I didn't want to hear about how many ways there was to have sex or that you spent all day dreaming about it or all about you having a one night stand." She looked at him.  "You are an incredible song writer, JC and you've written some great music." She continued.  "You have such an unbelievable amount of talent.  All I want to know is why are you wasting your time?"

He sat there, lost for words.  He didn't have an answer for her and that irritated him.  Who was she, thinking she could sit there and throw judgment down on him?  Who was she, thinking that she had the right to tell him what he should or shouldn't put on his album?  Sure, his first CD hadn't done as well as he'd hoped but how many CDs had she released?  How many chart toping songs had she written and produced?  The music business was tough, everyone knew that.  You were hot one day and cold the next.  No one knew what made a number one album; if they did there'd be a whole lot more of them out there.  What did she know about what did or didn't make a good album?

He was about to ask her that very question when his phone rang.  "Excuse me." He said, the words coming out harsher than he anticipated, as he scooted his chair back and stood.  She offered him an apologetic smile, before once more dipping her head and concentrating on the sketch in front of her. 

After answering the call, and taking a few deep breaths, JC came back into the kitchen.  He walked up behind her, peering over her shoulder at what she was working on.  She hadn't noticed him yet and he took advantage of the situation to breath in the heavenly scent of her perfume.  He hadn't been able to pinpoint the exact combination of scents yet but whatever it was, he was a big fan and he silently thanked whatever genius had come up with the unique blend. 

"That looks good." He said finally.  "I like it."  Rachel jumped at his voice.  She'd been so caught up in working on the design theme for the game room she hadn't noticed him coming to stand behind her.  She looked over her shoulder at him. 

"Really?" She asked.  "I was thinking that we can put the menus on the shelves-maybe frame a few of them?" She pointed out what she'd sketched.  "We can do the walls in a coordinating color.  A dark gold perhaps?  And maybe just do the wall with the shelves in maroon?  I think it'll add that little extra something to the atmosphere down there."   

"Yeah." He smiled.  "Yeah, I like it.  Except," He sat down in the chair beside her and pulled the sketch book towards him.  "May I?" He asked, holding his hand out for the pencil she held. 

~~~~~

Rachel handed her pencil over to him and watched as JC began making a few changes.  She found herself leaning towards him, looking over his shoulder as he made a few notes on things he liked and things he wanted to maybe change.  The spicy scent of his aftershave surrounded her and Rachel soon found her eyes wandering up, moving hungrily over his profile.  She sat, just looking at him, once again marveling at just how dangerously attractive he was.  She felt like pinching herself, still blown away that she was actually sitting here next to him.  He turned just then-the full force of his blue eyes coming to rest on her-and all thought left her head.  She swallowed, suddenly feeling a nervous excitement fill her. 

"I'm sorry." She heard herself saying, her voice almost a whisper.

"For what?" He questioned equally quiet, his eyes boring into hers. 

She licked her lips and watched as his eyes lowered to her mouth as he watched the movement of her tongue.  "I didn't mean to criticize you, or your music." She apologized.  "It's your life.  It's your career.  You can do what you want, obviously.  I just--" Rachel stopped, her heart skipping a few beats and her breath catching as he leaned towards her, their faces mere inches apart.  He stretched one arm out across the back of the chair she sat in, his other arm resting on the table in front of her.  She was trapped, yet she had no intention whatsoever in moving.

"You were right." He said quietly.

"I was?" She questioned, her eyes registering the shock she felt. 

He nodded slowly and she found herself watching his mouth as he spoke.  "Sometimes I'm embarrassed to know my mom may be listening to my music."

Rachel smiled, a small laugh escaping, as she raised her eyes once more to his. 

"Rachel?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah?" She breathed, a shiver running down her spine at the way he was looking at her.

"If I kiss you, are you going to slap me?"

"Why would I slap you?"  She continued looking at him as he remained quiet, searching his eyes.  He didn't answer and she knew, no matter what she said, he was going to kiss her.  "Does it matter?" She asked.

He remained quiet for a second then, with a shake of his head, responded. "Not really."

"Then why ask?" She responded, leaning forward slightly.  The corners of his mouth twitched up slightly as he closed the distance between them.  Rachel closed her eyes and released the breath she felt like she'd been holding for more than a year as he pressed his lips against hers softly.  She was about to tip her head to the side and urge him to deepen the contact when he pulled back.  She opened her eyes in surprise and disappointment to find him watching her intently as if gauging her reaction.  Without thinking she placed her hands on his face and pulled him towards her, kissing him the way she'd wanted to since leaving him at Megan's wedding.

~~~~~

JC groaned and gave in as Rachel took control of the kiss.  He'd always enjoyed it when girls were confident in physical affection.  It let him know he wasn't the only one wanting the contact.  As Rachel tipped her head to the side, deepening the kiss he moved the arm that was resting on the back of her chair-placing his hand on her back, drawing her towards him.  The arm that had been on the table came up, his hand touching her face before moving to rest at the back of her head-holding her close and making sure she didn't leave before he was good and ready to release her. 

However, the chairs they were sitting in, and their positions, made the kiss between them awkward.  As if they could read each other's thoughts they both stood, never breaking the seal of their lips, the sound of the chairs scraping across the floor all but ignored as Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck.  He moved his hands to her waist, as she dug her fingers into his dark hair, and tightened his hold on her a second before lifting her slightly.  Rachel felt her feet leave the ground and she tore her lips from his as her bottom came in contact with the table. 

JC looked into her eyes for a moment then slowly reached one hand behind her head and released her ponytail.  Rachel felt a shiver run down her spine as his eyes left hers and he ran his fingers through her hair fanning it around her shoulders.  Finally, he brought his hands up to frame her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks as he once more lowered his head and, tilting her head slightly, placed a series of small kisses to her lips. 

Rachel groaned as he continued teasing her with his mouth, her hands moving down to press against his back, urging him closer, wanting him to once more take full possession of her mouth.  She marveled at the strong muscles she could feel through his T-shirt and wondered briefly what he would look like with his shirt off.  JC had always been the hesitant one in the group when it came to doing shirtless photos, but there were enough candid shots out there of him that Rachel knew she would probably die if she were to ever personally witness JC Chasez shirtless. 

As Rachel's thoughts were wandering, JC's lips began to wander as well.  He slowly moved from her mouth, across her delicate jaw and down one side of her neck, his other hand caressing the opposite side of her neck.  As he heard her small moans, and felt her hands grip the fabric of his shirt he smiled against her skin.  It was nice to know he affected her at least as much as she did him. 

Finally though, he pulled back, his breathing labored as he once more brought his hands up and gently cupped her face between them. Rachel brought her own hands up, grabbing onto his wrists as she slowly opened her beautiful brown eyes and he smiled at the dreamy expression on her face.  He'd seen that look before on other girls and he'd never thought twice about it.  But, for some reason, seeing it on Rachel's face-combined with hearing her labored breathing and seeing the evidence of his kiss on her swollen lips-made him feel things he'd never felt before.  It was like a light had been turned on and things that had been in shadow suddenly took shape and made sense.  As he moved his thumbs across her cheeks he felt a jolt go through him as her tongue snaked out quickly, wetting her lips and he gently pressed his mouth to hers again.  When he once more released her, he leaned his forehead down, pressing it against hers as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"You're even better than I remembered." He admitted softly.

"What?" Rachel asked in surprise as she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back slightly.  As she looked into his eyes understanding finally dawned and she felt her eyes go wide.  He knew!  He knew who she was.  He knew who she was and he had let her believe he didn't.  Before she could stop herself she pulled her hand back and slapped him.

He released her instantly, his blue eyes shocked as he rubbed his cheek.  "What the hell was that for?"  He asked. 

"You knew?" She spat out.  "All this time, you knew who I was and you let me believe..." Oh she was furious!  She could literally feel her blood boiling at her anger and humiliation.  She closed her eyes and hung her head, her hands coming up to cover her eyes as she groaned.  Everything she'd said to him over the past month came back to her.  She'd been such an idiot!  "You've known the whole time?" She asked looking back at him, placing one hand over her mouth.

"No." He shook his head.  "I didn't remember at first, I--" 

"How long?" She interrupted him as she got down off the table and straightened her shirt.  "How long have you known?"

"Since the night we met at the club." He answered contritely.

She groaned out in frustration as humiliation washed through her-recalling some of their more recent conversations.  The flirtatious comments they'd exchanged; the several near kisses.  She felt like her cheeks were on fire and she could feel hot tears coming as she recalled confessing her biggest regret to him.  He had known!  He had sat there, listening to her go on and on about how she regretted walking away from him and had said nothing.  Moving quickly past him Rachel tried to escape.  She didn't make it very far though, before his arms came around her from behind-halting her progress

"Rachel wait." He said.

"Let me go, JC!" She responded vehemently, struggling to escape his grasp.

"No." He replied, his strong arms holding her captive.  "I'm not letting you walk away again."

Rachel brought her hands up to her face as JC pulled her back against his chest, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall.  Don't cry.  She told herself.  Whatever you do, don't cry!  She felt him rest his forehead against the back of her head, heard his deep even breathing and felt her resolve slipping.  Just get out of here and fall apart at home.  Don't let him see the tears.  Don't let him know he's hurt you.

"I just..." He paused.  "Rachel, I'm sorry."

Rachel felt something snap inside at those two words.  "You're sorry?" She asked incredulously as she turned in his arms and looked at him.  "And what exactly are you sorry about?" She questioned with narrowed eyes, anger quickly replacing the humiliation of moments before as he remained quiet, his blue eyes probing hers as if searching for the answer she would accept.  "Sorry about kissing me?" She asked.  "Sorry about lying to me?  Or how about, sorry for never calling?!"

"I've never lied to you." He stated firmly, his arms still around her.

"You let me believe you didn't remember me." She hissed.  "Withholding information is just as good as lying."

"When was supposed to tell you?" He asked, finally releasing her as he threw his hands up in frustration.  "You know this really isn't a typical topic of conversation for us.  ‘Oh, Rachel, by the way I totally remember making out with you at Megan's wedding last year, want to go upstairs and finish what we started?'" He finished sarcastically.  "This is the first time we've had a chance to talk about this.  I don't know why you're freaking out so much.  I--"

"You don't know why I'm freaking out?  Really?  You don't know why?!" Rachel put her hands on his chest and pushed him.  JC backed up a few steps into the great room, surprise registering in his eyes.  "I'll tell you why!" She exclaimed pushing him once more, making him sit down on the couch.  He looked up at her, eyes wide in shock, as she began pacing in front of him.  "Do you have any idea what it's like to have someone you've adored and idolized for years suddenly show any kind of interest in you?  Do you know what it feels like to give a part of yourself to this person; to share something so intensely passionate with them that it takes your breath away every time you think about it?  Do you know what it feels like to walk away and never hear from this person again?  And then--then!  Do you know what it's like to meet up with this person again and have to look him in the eyes every day and know he has no idea who you are?"  Rachel angrily swiped at the hot tears that had begun to fall during her pacing.  She finally looked at him.  "Do you know how many times over the past year I have kicked myself for walking away from you that night?  How many times I have wished for a way to go back and do things differently?  How many times I wondered if you ever thought of me and wished the same thing?  But then," She sniffed and again wiped away her tears, shaking her head as she raised her chin stubbornly.  "I showed up on your front step and for once I was thankful that whatever god in heaven was watching out for me somehow gave me the strength to walk away from you that night."

"Thankful?" JC asked confused, finally speaking.  "First you regret walking away and now you're thankful?  Which one is it?  I don't--"

"I'm thankful," she once again interrupted him. "I had the sense to not give in and sleep with you that night.  Looking in your eyes that first day I came over here and realizing you didn't know who I was hurt, but if we had slept together..." Rachel trailed off and bit her trembling bottom lip.  "It would have killed me." She admitted, feeling satisfied watching him grimace as if in pain.  "I have loved you since I was fifteen.  And I know I'm probably making a huge mistake admitting this to you, but you know what?  What the hell?" She threw her arms up and began pacing again.  "I don't think I can be any more humiliated so I might as well get this all out on the table.  I was a huge fan of yours while you guys were larger than life and I'm still a fan.  I still listen to your CD's on a regular basis-sometimes daily.  And I--" 

Rachel was cut off as JC suddenly stood and took her face in his hands, his lips crushing hers as he silenced her.  She placed her hands on his chest and once more pushed him back.  "What the hell are you doing?" She asked, looking at him in surprise.

"Shutting you up." He answered, his chest rising and falling deeply.  "And that was the only thing I could think of.  I'm sorry." He replied, taking her upper arms in his hands as he looked down at her.  "I'm sorry." He repeated, shaking her slightly to emphasize his point.  "I'm sorry I didn't remember you.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I did remember who you were.  I'm sorry I kissed you.  I'm sorry.  I don't know what else to say."

Rachel folded her arms across her chest angrily, trying to ignore the feel of his hands on her.  "Why didn't you call?" She asked looking down at the floor.  She needed an answer, even if it was one she didn't want to hear.

"I wanted to." He replied, making her look up at him in surprise.  His eyes held hers steadily for a moment before he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.  Rachel stubbornly refused to let herself relax, instead remaining rigid against him.  "I lost my phone." He said and she pulled back, looking at him in disbelief.  "I did!" He insisted.  "I have no idea where it went.  I either left it somewhere or it fell out of my pocket sometime during the night.  Whatever happened, the truth is, I lost my phone and I couldn't call you.  I didn't have your number and Jackson never told me your last name when he asked me to come meet you.  I had no way of contacting you, Rachel."

"You could have talked to Jackson." Rachel insisted, her anger starting to cool.

"By the time I saw him again it had been four months." He sighed letting go of her as his shoulders slumped.  "I figured..." He trailed off.

"What?" She asked.  "You figured what?"

He looked at her.  "I figured too much time had passed.  I figured you'd forgotten about me."

Rachel laughed incredulously.  "Forgotten?  About you?  How in the hell could I have forgotten about you?  You're JC Chasez!"

"I know who I am." He rolled his eyes.  "You were drunk--I was drunk...I just...I didn't think I'd ever see you again so I pushed your memory away.  I never expected you to show up on my front porch and be my new interior designer.  That first day you were over here," he shook his head and pushed his hands into his hair.  "I couldn't concentrate on anything you were telling me.  You looked so damn familiar it drove me out of my mind trying to figure out how I knew you.  You're hair is what threw me."  He admitted.  "You were a brunette the first time we met." He reminded her.

"What finally made you remember?" She asked, grudgingly curious.

"Your tattoo." He answered.  "I saw it at the club and remembered asking you about it at the reception."  Rachel closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.  "Rachel." He reached out to touch her, but she shied away.

"Don't touch me." She said, looking up.  Her heart ached at the hurt in his blue eyes as he withdrew his hand, but she refused to apologize.  Whether he had meant to or not, he had hurt her and he deserved to feel bad about it.  She turned and walked to the kitchen table, silently gathering up all the books and papers she'd brought with her.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Since we're doing the rest of the house before MTV comes I think it would be a good idea to have Tony and his guys work on this room in here and the game room downstairs at the same time.  We've got a big deadline now." Rachel responded, her voice controlled and even as she slipped into professional mode.

~~~~~

"Okay." JC replied, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stood watching her gather her things.  "Whatever you think."  Right now he'd agree to just about anything she wanted.  He hated fighting with people he cared about; hated knowing he had failed somehow and let someone down.    

"If you're okay with the paint colors we chose, I'll also call and schedule the painters for next week." She continued, the distance in her voice making him want to reach out and hold her-but he knew that wouldn't be a wise choice right now.  It had hurt when she'd shied away from him, telling him not to touch her. 

"Yeah, sure.  Rachel..."

"I need you to take down everything from the walls in here," she said, cutting him off.  She pointed with one hand into the great room as she stood; all her books cradled in her other arm.  "And downstairs so it's ready for Tony and the painters."

"Alright." He nodded watching her closely, his heart falling at the dull look in her eyes.  He'd seen that look on her face before-the day she'd shown up limping-but this time hurt.  This time he had been the one to put that look in her eyes.

"I'll have Tony give you a call tomorrow." She said, and with that she walked past him towards the front door.  JC stood, frozen in place as he watched her leave.  At the sound of the front door closing he sank back down onto the couch.  Resting his arms on his knees he hung his head and found himself praying for some idea on how to make things up to Rachel.  If she was any other girl he knew he'd have been thinking good riddance.  Not only was she what he'd decided he didn't want-a fan-but she was obviously irrational.  She should be happy he remembered her, but what did she do?  She threw it right back in his face.  Did he really want to get involved with someone like that? 

It's too late. His heart replied.  You can't let her go and you know it.  He leaned back and, resting his head back on the cushions, placed his hands over his face.  Give her some time to cool off then make it up to her.

"But how?" He asked out loud.              

~~~~~~

"JC Chasez Dating Again?"

Rachel's heart stopped as she flipped on the television Tuesday night when she got home.  She sank down onto her couch, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, her eyes widening as the entertainment show host continued with the story.

"Rumor has it one of the former heartthrobs of N SYNC and judge of America's Best Dance Crew on MTV, who has dated the likes of Eva Longoria and Tara Reid in the past, is once again off the market.  After rumors circulated last year of a possible ‘bromance'  with Chase Crawford, several photos have recently been taken of the woman rumored to be Chasez's  new love interest meeting him secretly at his house in Beverly Hills.  No one seems to know who the mystery blonde is."

Rachel gasped as several pictures of herself getting out of and into her car at JC's house were flashed on screen. 

"Chasez, who is known for being quiet when it comes to his personal life, has refused to return our calls, so for now we're all left wondering: are the former Mouseketeer's bachelor days numbered?"

Without thinking Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled her cell phone out.  Pressing the speed dial for Megan, she sat back on her couch, staring at the television in shock as the show's hosts moved on to the next story.

"Hey!" Megan answered.

"I just saw myself on TV." Rachel replied quietly. 

"What?" Megan asked.

"I just saw myself on TV." She repeated.

"What do you mean you just saw yourself on TV?"

"I came home and flipped on the TV and do you know what they were talking about?  They were talking about JC and a mysterious blonde that has been seen coming and going from his house the last couple weeks.  Then they showed some pictures of me getting out of my car at his house."

"No way!" Megan exclaimed.  "Really?"

"Yes, really!" Rachel responded, exasperated.  "Why would I make something like this up?  This is bad."

"Why is this bad?" Megan asked, confused. 

"Because...because..." Rachel struggled to come up with why exactly this was bad.  "Okay, so I can't come up with a reason, but it's still bad."

Megan laughed.  "You're dating a celebrity, Rachel.  What did you expect?  Of course people are going to notice you two together.  Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken them this long."

"I am not dating a celebrity, Megan." Rachel stated, drawing her knees up and resting her chin on them.  "Technically, we've only actually gone out once."

"My bad." Megan chuckled.  "You have a celebrity interested in dating you."

Rachel sighed. 

"How many times have you guys talked on the phone when it wasn't work related?" Megan asked.

"Once." Rachel replied. 

"And how long did you guys talk on the phone?"

"An hour..." Rachel answered.  "Or two."

"He's definitely interested in dating you." Megan stated.

"Maybe he was," Rachel said.  "I'm not so sure now."

"He hasn't called?" Megan asked.

"Nope.  But I didn't really think he would." Rachel said with a sigh as she shifted and curled up on her side on the couch.  "I really laid into him yesterday Megan." She said, beginning to feel sorry for the way she'd treated him.  He'd been right.  There really hadn't been a chance for him to tell her that he remembered her before yesterday, but that fact still didn't take away the sense of betrayal she'd felt.  She'd told him things she never should have, the knowledge that he didn't remember the past they shared giving her a false sense of security.  "I was just so angry and hurt." She explained trying to justify it to herself and to Megan.  "I really let him have it."

"I know." Megan replied.  "But I don't think all hope is lost.  You still technically have a date tomorrow, right?"

"Damn it!" Rachel put a hand to her head at Megan's reminder.  She had completely forgotten their lunch date.  "I bet he doesn't show." She grumbled.

"I bet he does." Megan replied. 

"Would you show?  Honestly-if you were JC and I'd acted like a complete nut job yelling at you and confessing to being in love with you my whole life would you show up?"

"Yes." Megan answered confidently.

"Really?" Rachel asked in surprise.  "Why?"

"If he knows what's good for him...he'll show up."

"And if he doesn't?" Rachel asked, fighting not to get her hopes up.

"Than he's an even bigger idiot than I give him credit for."

~~~~~~

Walking into the office late Wednesday morning Rachel sighed dramatically in relief.  "It's done!" She said to Aubrey.  "The beast is married.  She's finally someone else's problem."

Aubrey giggled.  "Congratulations!  What are you going to do with yourself now?"

"I don't know."  Rachel said, coming to stand at the front desk.  "I almost don't remember what it's like to not have her call me five times a day.  I might actually be able to get some of my other work done, that's a novel idea."

"I'm sure I could get her to call you if I let her know how much you missed her." Aubrey teased.

"Don't you dare!" Rachel pointed a finger at the girl as she continued laughing.  "I don't ever want to hear Lucy's voice again."  Rachel began walking towards her desk.  "I'll be at my desk if anyone needs me."

"Alright.  Damn." Aubrey whistled appreciatively at something and Rachel turned around, curious. 

"What..." She trailed off when her eyes caught sight of what Aubrey had seen.  JC-looking like he'd just stepped off the pages of a Gap ad in khakis and a white button down shirt-approached the front door.  One hand was resting casually in his pocket while the other was wrapped around a bouquet of pink Gerbera daisies.  Rachel stood in silent shock as he removed his hand from his pocket and opened the front door.  His blue eyes met hers-clearly surprised to find her standing by the front desk-as soon as he was inside and a tentative smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in what was becoming her standard greeting for him.

"We have a lunch date, I believe." He replied with a smile, holding the flowers out to her.

Rachel continued looking at him in disbelief even as she reached out automatically and took the flowers from him.  She was sure, after her emotional outburst on Monday that he wasn't going to show for their date today.  She hadn't heard from him since she'd left his house and, even though Megan said he would and a small part of her hoped he'd remember, she had pretty much written him off her calendar today.

"I know I'm a little early." He said, turning his wrist and glancing at his watch.  "I can just wait if you're not ready."  

"No, I..." Rachel stopped.  She looked down at the flowers in her hand then back up at JC.  "I'll be right back." She said, turning and heading back towards her desk.  Walking into her cubicle Rachel sank down into her chair.  Holding the flowers he'd given her in both hands she admired the soft pink blooms until her phone vibrated in her pocket.  Setting the bouquet down on her desk Rachel withdrew her phone and flipped it open.

I just felt the baby move!

Rachel smiled at Megan's excited text.  She knew Megan had been worried that she hadn't felt anything yet and had been trying some of the different tricks people had been telling her.

That's great!! Guess who just showed up for our lunch date?

Rachel sent the text and waited her heart beginning to race as she thought about the man out in the lobby, waiting to take her to lunch.  What were they going to talk about?  How was she supposed to act?  Should she just pretend that Monday hadn't happened-that she hadn't confessed to being in love with him and everything was fine between them? 

I knew he'd show :)

Smiling, Rachel grabbed her purse and put her phone back in her pocket.  Standing and taking a few deep breaths she walked back out into the lobby.

 ~~~~~

JC quickly stood as Rachel walked back out.  She smiled timidly at him and he felt his heart skip a beat.  He had come today not knowing if she would be here or if she would still want to go out with him but the fact that she was now standing in front of him gave him hope. 

He held the door for her as they walked outside.  "I'm over this way." He said, gesturing and turning towards his car.  Rachel followed silently beside him as an awkward silence fell between them.  A few days ago they had no trouble talking for hours with each other about everything under the sun and now he couldn't think of a single thing to tell her.

"I--" He began.

"Did--" She spoke at the same time.

They looked at each other and he smiled.  "Go ahead." He said as he unlocked the car and held the door for her.

~~~~~

"Do you ever watch Access Hollywood?" She asked.

He closed her door and quickly walked around to the driver's side.  "I try to avoid those shows." He said as he slid behind the wheel.  "Most of that stuff is made up.  Why?" He asked turning the ignition of the car.

"They had some interesting things to say about you last night."

"I'm not gay." He said, looking over at her as he backed the car from his spot.

"I know." She answered.  If you were, you'd certainly have a lot of explaining to do about a couple of mind blowing kisses we've shared recently.

"What did they say?" He asked driving out of the parking lot.

"That you've been secretly dating someone for the past month."  He looked over at her, his eyes showing his confusion.  "She's been photographed coming and going from your place and no one seems to know who she is." 

"The only girl I've spent any time with in the past year is you." He answered.  Rachel slowly raised one brow as she continued looking at him.  "What..." He kept looking back and forth between her and the road and Rachel saw understanding slowly dawn in his blue eyes.  "Rachel, I'm sorry." He quickly apologized.  "Listen, whatever they said about you, I..." He shook his head and hit the steering wheel.  "Damn it!" He swore under his breath.  "Sarah told me yesterday someone from one of those shows had called wanting a statement about some rumors going around about me.  I just assumed it was a slow news day so they were dragging out the gay story again.  If I'd known it was about you I would have said something."

"What would you have said?" She asked, curious.

"That...that I'm remodeling and that you're a...a friend." He answered.

Is that all? She wanted to ask feeling a bit disappointed at his answer, instead she nodded and turned to look out the window.  "If they call again." He said.  "I'll say something."

"It's alright." She assured him.  "They didn't say anything bad about me.  It just caught me by surprise is all.  I guess..." She looked over at him.  "Sometimes I forget you're a celebrity." She chuckled ironically and rolled her eyes.  "I know how crazy that sounds, but...I mean I know who you are, but when it's just the two of us I forget sometimes that everyone else knows you too and you live your life in the spotlight."

~~~~~

JC watched Rachel as he pulled to a stop at a red light.  He didn't know what to do-what to feel.  The girls he'd dated in the past had been all about the spotlight.  It was like they'd been holding a contest with each other trying to see who could beat the other one's record at how quickly photos of them together started circulating.  The fact that Rachel seemed to be uncomfortable with the attention she had suddenly received was a new thing for him.  "I'll have Sarah get a copy of whatever pictures they have.  We can--"

"It's okay, JC." She said, putting her hand on his arm.  He looked down at it, then back up at the road as traffic began moving again.  "They weren't bad pictures.  Like I said, I was just surprised last night." She smiled.  "It's not everyday I turn on the television and see my picture in the entertainment news and hear that people are wondering about who I am."

"I'll have Sarah keep an eye on what's being said.  If I need to I'll make a statement."

"Whatever." She said turning back to the window.  They were both quiet as he continued driving across town.  He'd wanted to take her to his favorite Chinese restaurant but was now questioning whether this was such a great idea.  It was obvious Rachel was uncomfortable with the attention she'd received and if he knew anything about the entertainment business, the paparazzi weren't going to leave this alone until they found out who she was-they never did.  Things could get a little crazy.

"Do you ever get tired of constantly having your life exposed?" She asked, her brown eyes turning to him, her expression curious.

"All the time." He answered honestly. 

"I'd think it would have a damaging affect on any kind of relationship you have-having to constantly be careful about what you say and what you do, rumors always flying around."

"You have no idea." He replied bitterly.  "Why do you think I've struggled so hard to keep my personal life private?" He asked.  Silence once more fell between them. 

"I'm sorry I slapped you the other day." She said quietly.

"It's been a while since a girl slapped me." He rubbed his cheek.  "But I deserved it." He said.  She smiled timidly at him.  He watched her turn back to the window.  When she remained quiet he asked, "Do you like Chinese?"

"I love it." She answered. 

"Good." He smiled.  "Then you'll like this place." He said, pulling into a parking lot.  JC wanted to hold Rachel's hand as they walked towards the restaurant but restrained himself.  She needed to let him know she had forgiven him and so far he hadn't gotten that vibe from her.  Yes, she was being pleasant and cordial with him but she was also more reserved than he was used to.  He could tell she was holding back, still feeling some residual anger towards him.

They were shown to a table and soon ordered.  Waiting for their food to arrive JC reached for one of the fortune cookies sitting on the table and handed it to her.  As he grabbed one for himself she asked, "Do you know the correct way to eat a fortune cookie?"

"There's a correct way?" He chuckled.

"If you want your wish to come true," she said. "You have to do it a certain way."

"And how's that?"

"You have to eat the cookie." She said, taking her cookie from the wrapper and breaking it in half.  "Then make a wish and then read your fortune."

"Alright." He said, opening his wrapper and breaking his own cookie in half.  He pulled out his fortune, and put both parts of the cookie in his mouth, watching as Rachel ate one half, then the other of her cookie.  He watched as she closed her eyes and, he assumed, made her wish.  When her eyes once more opened and connected with his he swallowed.

"Did you make a wish?" She asked.

I wish there was a way to rewind time and make you like me again. He thought.  "Yeah." He answered.

"What's your fortune say?" She inquired.

He tore his eyes from hers and looked down at the strip of paper in his hand.  "You will always be successful in your professional career." He read.  "Obviously this is Justin's cookie." He said, with a wry chuckle as he tossed the fortune on the table between them.  Rachel laughed.  "What's yours say?" He asked.

~~~~~  

Rachel smiled as she looked down at her fortune, her heart racing as she read the tiny red letters.  Someone from your past has returned to steal your heart.  "Uh..." she cleared her throat as she looked up at him.  She chuckled nervously as he sat there looking at her expectantly.  I can't read this to him!  She wracked her brain trying to think of fortunes she'd had in the past.  "The road to success is long." She said crumpling up the fortune and quickly putting it into her purse.  "I always get dumb ones." She said, and took a sip of her water as their waiter brought their food out.

Inhaling appreciatively, Rachel picked up her fork and took a bite of the orange chicken she'd ordered.  Chewing the sweet and spicy meat her eyes wandered around the restaurant, taking in the oriental decorations, watching the other patrons, reading the Chinese zodiac information card on the table-anything to keep her mind off JC and the way he made her feel.  She wanted to hold on to her anger, nurse her hurt a little long, but the longer she sat here across from him-the longer she thought about him showing up for their date with flowers-the more she felt her anger dissipating.  She glanced over at him, only to find him looking down at his plate, focusing intently on his sweet and sour pork.  He had made an effort to apologize-she had to give him that-and Rachel knew the ball was now in her court.  It was her move.  He was leaving it up to her.  Finally she couldn't stand the silence any longer. 

"I can't do this." She said, startling him as she put her fork down.  His blue eyes watched her carefully as she leaned towards him.  "I can't sit here with you any longer and pretend nothing's happened.  We need to talk."

"Agreed." He answered.

"Why?" She asked. 

"Why do we need to talk?" He looked at her, his eyes conveying his confusion at her vague question. "Or why do I agree?"

"Just...why?" She questioned.  "Why did it take you so long to remember me?  Why did you let me go on talking when you knew damn well what I was talking about at lunch last week?  Why didn't you try harder to contact me?  Why did you show up today after I yelled at you on Monday?  Why, why, why?" She put her elbows up on the table and covered her face with her hands, the pain evident in her voice.

"Rachel." JC reached over and took her hands in his-pulling them down to reveal her face.   "Look at me." He said quietly, keeping hold of one hand, but she refused to look at him.  "Look at me." He repeated, reaching across the table and lifting her chin with his other hand.  Finally she allowed herself to look at him, the intensity of his blue eyes making her breath catch as he sat there across from her.  "I'm sorry." He said with conviction.  He closed his eyes and blew out a breath.  "I wish I could go back and change things, but I can't.  The truth is, when we met at Megan and Jackson's reception I never expected what happened to happen.  I never expected to get there and feel so instantly attracted to you that it was all I could do to keep my hands to myself for as long as I did.  I never expected to kiss you and I certainly never expected to feel as lost as I did watching you walk away from me."

Rachel sat, dumbfounded at the look in his eyes and the words coming from his lips.

~~~~~

"Yes, we were drunk." JC admitted as he sat there, trying to explain himself to her.  He'd done nothing but think since she'd walked out on him Monday afternoon and he hoped she'd let him say what he needed to say.  "But I woke up the next morning and I couldn't get you out of my head.  Honestly, I was impressed that you'd been able to say no to my offer and I wanted to call and see if you wanted to go dinner or something.  I wanted to see you again, spend some time with you.  But when I discovered I'd lost my phone and had no way of contacting you and the longer that time went on I began convincing myself you'd said no because you weren't interested in me; that I was just fulfilling some drunken teenage fantasy.  I didn't ask Jackson for your information because, like I said, it had been four months by the time I saw the guy again and I figured it was just better to try and forget you." He sighed and Rachel closed her eyes as she hung her head. 

He reached across the table and once again lifted her chin.  He needed her to look at him.  He needed her to see and hear the truth of what he was telling her.  "But then you walked back into my life and took me by surprise-again.  I..." He paused, swallowing.  He squeezed her fingers that he still held.  "I worked so hard to push your memory away and I'm sorry.  If I'd known you would one day walk back into my life I..." He paused again.

"What?" She questioned.  "If you'd known...what would you have done?"

He sat there, looking at her.  The vulnerability in her eyes crying out to him.  She was scared and unsure-of herself, of him-of everything.  She was searching for reassurance and he wanted to give it to her.  "I don't know." He replied honestly.  "I don't know what I would have done differently.  The only thing I do know is that it wouldn't have taken me so damn long to kiss you again."  Rachel chuckled softly and he watched her cheeks turn pink.  "Rachel, I don't care that you're a fan." He said, raising her hand he still held and pressing his lips to the back of it.  "I don't care that apparently right now you hate my guts." He looked at her as he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the soft skin he'd just kissed.  "And I don't care that you're my interior designer.  I like you." He said.  "I like spending time with you.  I like talking to you on the phone and I want to see if this," he gestured between them, "is real."

~~~~~

Rachel pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she sat looking at him.  Could she do it?  Could she put herself on the line and open her heart to this man?  The potential for things to go badly was high.  If it turned out he didn't want her after getting to know her Rachel knew she'd never survive.  Not only was he the boy she'd spent her teenage and young adult life idolizing, but he was the man she was falling in love with.  He held all of her hopes and dreams in his hands and he could crush her so easily without even realizing it.  The hope and vulnerability in his blue eyes sent an arrow straight to her heart.  He had taken a huge leap of faith just now in admitting that he liked her and wanted to pursue a relationship with her, and Rachel knew there was only one thing she could say.

"Okay."      

Rachel woke up Thursday morning to rain hitting against her bedroom window and felt like death warmed over.  Her head hurt and she groaned as she turned over and curled into a ball.  She was grateful the day was dark and overcast.  At least she wouldn't have to try and cover her curtains with a blanket to block out the light even more as she tried to go back to sleep.  Just as she was about to pull the covers over her head Rachel groaned and rolled back over as the familiar ring of her cell phone cut through the pain she was in.  She reached for her phone intent on silencing the evil devise, until she read the name on the screen.  JC.  She flipped the phone open.  "Hey." She said. 

"Where are you?" He asked inquisitively, causing Rachel's heart to skip.  How was it he could affect so easily...and over the phone for crying out loud! 

"I'm at home, where are you?" She asked, closing her eyes and rolling back on her pillow. 

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" He asked.  "I called your office but they said you weren't in yet.  You're late." He teased.

Rachel groaned.  "I'm taking the day off." 

"You're taking the day off?" He asked with a chuckle.  "Why?"

"Can't a girl take a day off once in a while?" Rachel asked turning the volume of her phone down and pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger trying to fight the pounding in her head. 

"What about me?" He asked.

"What about you?" She chuckled.

"I thought we could get together today and go over...something." 

"You'll have to survive without me today." She laughed as she rolled over on her side, pulling the blankets up and tucking them under her chin.  "If you really need to talk to someone go get Tony or one of the other guys.  They should all be there today working."

"I don't want to talk to Tony." He replied, pouting like a child not getting his way.  "I wanted to talk to you about some ideas I had." 

"Well, they're going to have to wait.  I'm off today...and I'm probably going to be off tomorrow as well." She replied.  "We can get together on Monday to talk about your ideas."

"Why?" He asked. 

"Why Monday?"

"No.  Why are you off?"

Are you always this annoying?" Rachel asked with a chuckle.  She didn't want to tell him her reason for taking the next couple days off.  It wasn't that she was embarrassed-after all it was a monthly inconvenience that every woman had to deal with-she just assumed he might be embarrassed if she told him. 

"Please, Rachel?" He asked.  "I know it's your day off, but I really want to see you today." 

"No, JC.  I'm not coming over." 

"Listen, it will only be for a few minutes.  I--" 

"I'm hanging up now, JC." Rachel said. 

"-know it's you're day off, but it'll be quick." He continued as if he hadn't heard her.  "I--" 

"Good-bye, JC." Rachel said as she flipped her phone closed, cutting him off.  She giggled when she thought about what Megan would say if she found out Rachel had just hung up on JC Chasez.  She was reaching over to place the phone back on her night stand as it began ringing again.  Rachel looked at the screen, smiling as she read JC's name once again on the screen.  She flipped it open and held it to her ear. 

"Listen, Sassy Pants." He said.  Rachel's smile grew and she had to bite back a laugh at his sudden nickname for her.  "I don't appreciate you hanging up on me." 

"Well, I don't appreciate you rambling on and on and not taking ‘no' for an answer.  What part of ‘it's my day off' don't you understand?" She asked, trying to sound annoyed.  She heard him take a deep breath and shook her head, rolling her eyes as he blew it out.  She could picture him sitting on the couch, a serious expression on his handsome face as he attempted to figure out a way to get her to give in to him.  "It can't be that important," she said, "that it can't wait a few days." 

"Why are you taking the day off?" He asked. 

"Like it's any of your business?" She asked. 

"I'm just curious, Sassy." He shot back and Rachel giggled.  She liked knowing JC could dish out as much attitude as she did.  "You're seeing someone else aren't you?" He asked.  "That's it, huh?  That's fine, whatever...I just wish you would have told me..."

"Oh, brother!" Rachel laughed.  "Alright, if you must know..." she drawled. 

"I must." He answered. 

"I'm not feeling well, alright?" 

"Are you okay?" He asked, sincerely. 

"I will be...if people would stop calling and harassing me and just let me get some sleep!" She explained with a laugh.

"Do you need anything?" He asked and she smiled, touched at his obvious concern for her-proving that he really was interested in her.

"No, I'm fine.  I'm just going to go back to bed and try and sleep it off.  I'll call you later." She said.

"Alright." He said.  "Call me if you need something."

"I will.  Bye."  She hung up on him for a second time and, after calling in to work and explaining that she was taking a couple sick days, Rachel set her phone to silent.  Burrowing deeper under the covers and closing her eyes-listening to the steady sound of the rain falling outside-she quickly fell asleep.

Rachel stood looking at herself in the mirror, confused as to why she was wearing a wedding dress.  "And the ugliest wedding dress I've seen as well." She said out loud as she turned and looked at the back of the dress.  The bodice was strapless and fitted, while the skirt was big and full and came to her ankles.  She lifted the skirt and grimaced as she saw the shoes on her feet.  "They're as bad as the dress." She said.  The white heeled sandals would have been fine, but for the straps that wound up her leg Egyptian style.  "How did I decide this was okay to wear?  Why didn't Megan say something?" 

Rachel heard a door open behind her and turned, shocked to see Lucy standing there.  "Lucy?" Rachel asked.  "What are you doing here?"

"The colors are all wrong." Lucy said, walking towards her.  "It's just not working.  Everything needs to be changed if you want your reception to go well."

"Listen." Rachel said, placing her hands on her hips.  "I don't have time for this.  I can't talk to you right now about colors; I'm getting married right now."

Before Lucy could say anything Rachel suddenly found herself standing at the front of a church.  She looked over at the man standing next to her and about fainted when he smiled back at her, his blue eyes sparkling.  I'm marrying Justin Timberlake?! She thought. Rachel looked around the church and saw her parents and her high school dance coach who she hadn't seen in almost ten years.  As her eyes traveled over the other people that had come they landed on Jackson sitting by himself.  "Where's Megan?" Rachel asked him, but he just shrugged as someone suddenly came running into the church.

"Wait!"  He called out breathlessly.  "Wait!"

Rachel stood watching as Lance came running up to her and Justin.  "You can't marry Justin." Lance said. 

"Why not?" Rachel asked.

"Because I'm in love with you."

"But you're gay." Rachel said.

"Who said I was gay?" Lance asked.

"People magazine." Rachel stood looking at him, suddenly feeling frustrated.  Turning to Justin she handed him the bouquet of daisies she suddenly realized she'd been holding.  "Here." She said.

"Where are you going?" Justin asked.

"I'm running away."  Rachel replied, hiking up her skirt and running out of the church.  As she ran down the street she realized she was close to her apartment and decided to just run home.  Finally getting to her apartment, Rachel sat down on her couch turning on the television and realized that somehow she'd changed out of her wedding dress and was in her pajamas.  As she sat watching Access Hollywood someone knocked on her door.  She answered it to find Megan standing there holding a little black kitten.

"How come you weren't at my wedding?" Rachel asked.

"I had to go buy you a cat, so you wouldn't be alone anymore." Megan answered, as she handed Rachel the kitten.

"But I'm not alone." Rachel said, looking at the kitten in confusion.  "And I don't want a cat."

"You have to have a cat if you're going to be living here." Megan told her, then turned and left.

The ringing of her cell phone stopped Rachel from going after Megan.  "Hello?" Rachel answered, still confused as to why Megan had insisted on giving her a cat.

"Rachel, it's Benjamin."

"Oh, hey Ben." Rachel smiled as she greeted the boy she'd been the fall back girl for in college.

"Listen," he said.  "I love you.  Will you marry me?"

"Sure." Rachel said, looking down at herself to find she was once more in her wedding dress.

"I'm down at the church."

"I'll be right there." Rachel said, hanging up and setting the kitten down on the ground.  "Be good." She told the cat.  "Please don't pee on anything."  As she walked out the door of her apartment she had to put her hand up to shield her eyes as a million flashes went off.  "Who are you people?" She asked as she heard the continuous clicking of the cameras going off.

"Are you dating JC Chasez?" A voice in the crowd asked.

"What?" She asked.

"Are you dating JC Chasez?"

"I'm marrying Benjamin." She thought, even though somehow she knew she didn't want to marry Benjamin.

"Are you dating JC Chasez?"

"Stop taking my picture!" She insisted.  "I don't want my picture being taken."

"Rachel."

Rachel turned, a sense of relief flooding her as JC suddenly appeared, taking her hand and running away with her.  As they escaped the photographers they stopped.  "What are you doing here?" Rachel asked him.

"I'm taking you to the airport."

"Why?" She asked confused.

"You're going to be late for your honeymoon." He told her as they got into his car.

"I didn't marry Benjamin." She confessed.

"I know."

"Then why are you driving me to the airport for my honeymoon? I'm not married.  I don't have a husband."

"I'm going with you."

"On my honeymoon?!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Yes.  I don't want you to be alone in Hawaii." He explained.

"I'm going to Hawaii for my honeymoon?" She asked.  As soon as the words were said Rachel found herself sitting on an airplane, this time wearing a pair of jeans and a black tank top, ordering drinks and taking the small bags of peanuts the flight attendant gave them.  "I've never been to Hawaii." She told JC.  He smiled over at her.

"I like you." He said.  

Rachel woke with a start as a car suddenly honked right outside her window.  Looking at the clock on the nightstand she was surprised to realize it was almost two.  The rain was still falling steadily outside, and she couldn't help giggling as the memory of the dream she'd just had remained with her.  That was pretty much the most ridiculous dream I've ever had.  She thought as she stretched lazily.  She felt a little better but her muscles ached from lying in bed for so long.  Grabbing her phone she scrolled through the messages she'd gotten.  Two from Megan asking how her day was going and wondering why she wasn't answering her texts, and one from JC.

How're you feeling?

She smiled when she read his text.  Scrolling to the bottom she noticed he'd only sent it about fifteen minutes ago.  Opening up a new message she typed:

Better.  I think I'll live :)

Rachel sent her reply then got up.  She knew she'd feel better after a shower and was actually feeling kind of hungry.  She'd only taken a step though, when her phone vibrated on the nightstand.  Picking it up and opening the text she'd received she smiled.

I was beginning to think you'd died.  I was starting to worry.

Typing out a reply she sent it then tossed her phone on the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

No need to worry.  I'm not dead yet :)

Twenty minutes later, after letting the hot water from her shower massage her sore muscles, and feeling rejuvenated, Rachel pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants and her favorite black T-shirt.  Pulling her drying hair back in a messy bun she put her glasses on and grabbed her phone, heading towards the kitchen.  Opening her pantry and staring at the box of Rice Krispies, the few cans of tuna and the couple boxes of Rice-A-Roni she had on hand, Rachel grimaced.  "I don't have anything to eat and there's no way I'm going out looking like this." 

She walked over to her fridge and pulled it open, hoping that miraculously there would be something appetizing inside.  She sighed at the contents of her fridge.  I'd kill for some onion rings right now.  She thought.  "Looks like I'm going to have to go out."  She looked down at herself.  She'd have to change before leaving.  Rachel turned to head back to her room as her phone chimed again.  Flipping it open she read JC's text:

Up for some company?

Just then, someone knocked on her door.  "What?" She asked out loud, looking back and forth between the door and her phone.  How does he know where I live? Walking the few feet to the door Rachel curiously opened it.

"Hey." JC said, a huge smile on his face 

"Hi." She answered, leaning against the door as she looked at him, pleasantly surprised.  "How...how did you know where I lived?" She asked.

~~~~~

"The internet." JC replied, continuing to stand on Rachel's landing.  His eyes quickly traveled over her, from her hair pulled back in a quick and sloppy bun, to the small brown framed glasses perched on her cute nose, to the sweats and baggy T-shirt she wore. He'd never seen her in such a mess and...she'd never been more adorable.  As he continued looking at her, his mind finally registered the design on the front of her black T-shirt and he slowly raised one brow as his eyes connected with hers once more.  "Cute shirt." He said in reference to the old N SYNC tour shirt she was wearing.  He saw the confusion in her brown eyes until she looked down, then he saw her cheeks redden in embarrassment and couldn't help chuckling as she swore under her breath.  "Are you an Indiana Jones fan?" He asked lifting his copy of The Last Crusade on DVD he had brought. 

"Who's not an Indy fan?" Rachel replied with a smile, her eyes never leaving his and he smiled in return as she stepped back and he walked in to her apartment.

"There's nothing better when your sick than a good movie." He said.  "And this is the best one, in my opinion."

"It's a good one." Rachel said as she took the movie from him and walked towards her television.  JC sat down on her couch, his eyes traveling around the room, taking in the feel of the room.  It was a small space, but it was comfortable and inviting.  Rachel had decorated the room in different shades of brown and tan with red accents here and there.  As she turned on the television and walked towards the couch he smiled up at her.  He felt like he hadn't been able to stop smiling since lunch yesterday.  It had been a long time since he'd been this happy and as Rachel came and sat next to him, JC felt a bit giddy inside.

"You know what would make this day even better?" Rachel asked, looking at him.

"What?" He asked, willing and ready to do whatever it would take to make this woman happy.

"I'm starving." She confessed.  "And I was just thinking how I would kill for some onion rings right now."

He chuckled.  "Onion rings?" He asked.

"I know it sounds weird, but that's what I'm craving.  I was going to go out and get some when you showed up.  Wanna go get something to eat?" She looked at him expectantly.  "There's a Sonic just around the corner." She told him.

"Alright, let's go." He said standing and holding a hand out to her.  Rachel smiled brightly as she placed her hand in his and stood next to him.  "You might want to change out of that shirt though." He winked at her as he squeezed her hand.

"I'll be right back." She said, letting go of his hand and walking towards, what he assumed, was her bedroom.

JC chuckled and put his hands in his pockets.  He wandered around the small front room, looking at the photos she had up, as he waited.  Most of the pictures were of her and Megan. JC picked up a different photo of the girls that had been taken at Megan's wedding last year.  He ran his thumb over Rachel's image, his lips turning up slightly.  She really did look great in red and he hoped he'd have another chance to see her in a red dress soon.  Replacing the frame he glanced over her extensive CD collection.  She was right, her taste in music was very eclectic-rock, pop, alternative, R&B, classical, and everything in between.  It reminded him of his own music collection and he smiled as he saw several albums he owned.  He chuckled as he saw a few all too familiar CD cases.  He counted them.  Twelve.  She even had their European and Asian albums.  She really is a fan.  He thought. I hope I'm doing the right thing.  He turned when he heard her walking back into the room, his heart thumping as she smiled up at him. 

"Ready?" She asked, pulling a pink ASU hoodie over the black tank top she'd changed into. 

"Yeah." He replied, taking her hand as she slipped her feet into a pair of black flip flops as they left the apartment. 

"I can drive, if you want." She offered. 

"No. You're sick." He said.  "I'm driving."

"Okay." She smiled, following him towards his car.

~~~~~

Rachel followed him towards where his Mercedes was parked.  As they got in she smiled over at him, once again thinking about the dream she'd had she chuckled as he started the car.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

She looked over at him as he put the car in reverse.  "I had a dream about you today." She said.

He looked over at her in surprise.  "You had a dream about me?" He asked, sounding intrigued.

"Yeah." She smiled.  "Well, it wasn't about you, but you were in it."

"What kind of dream was it?"

"A crazy one." She laughed then was quiet.

"Well, are you going to tell me about it?" He asked.  "Or were you just informing me that you'd had a dream about me?"

Rachel smiled.  "I was getting married," she said.  "I think.  And my dress was hideous, by the way.  Definitely not what I am going to where when I do get married.  Anyway, then Lucy-bridezilla, I told you about her-showed up and told me that I had to redo all my colors.  Then I was at the church and Lance came busting in telling me I couldn't get married because he was in love with me and I remember saying, ‘But you're gay.'"  JC laughed out loud as she continued relaying her dream to him.  "Then I was running back to my apartment and Megan showed up with this cat telling me she bought it for me because she didn't want me to be alone and that I needed to have a cat.  Then Benjamin called and proposed to me."

"Benjamin?" JC asked through his laughter.  He looked at her in confusion.  "Who's Benjamin?"

"Oh," Rachel pushed her hand through the air.  "He's this guy I knew in college.  We...well, we kind of...um, it's complicated." Rachel said, not really sure how to explain Benjamin or her relationship with him to JC.  JC kept glancing over at her, his blue eyes conveying his interest and confusion.  "Basically, we were make-out buddies." Rachel confessed, reaching up and adjusting her glasses nervously.  "It was never serious between us." She rushed to reassure him.  "He..." She shrugged.  "I was the one he always called when he was between girlfriends.  I broke it off with him a few years ago." She said.  "Told him I didn't want to be the ‘fall-back' girl the rest of my life."

"Hmmm." He hummed.  "Was that the end of the dream?" He asked.

"No." Rachel said.

"What happened next?" He prompted.

"Um...Benjamin called and asked me to marry him.  I said okay and told him I'd meet him at the church.  I walked out of my apartment and there were all these people standing outside taking my picture.  Then you showed up." She turned and smiled at him.  "You told me you were taking me to Hawaii.  So you drove me to the airport and we got on a plane and then I woke up."

He chuckled.  "Are your dreams always that crazy?"

"Yes." Rachel laughed as they pulled into the drive-thru at Sonic.

Ten minutes later they were back at her apartment, sitting on the couch-burgers, onion rings and a couple of chocolate shakes sitting on the coffee table-as they once again started the movie.  Rachel grabbed her container of onion rings and sat back.  She took a bite and moaned in pleasure.

"Good?" He chuckled as he unwrapped the bacon cheeseburger he'd gotten and bit into it.

"Fantastic." She sighed, reaching for her chocolate shake.  "Thanks for going with me." She smiled at him.

"Anytime." He replied. 

They ate while they watched the movie, occasionally talking and making comments about what was going on.  When she'd finished eating Rachel pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs.  Even though she was sitting inches from JC and wanted nothing but to curl up next to him, she wasn't sure what was okay and what wasn't okay to do in regards to physical affection with him.  It had been a while since she'd been in a real relationship with a guy and she felt awkward.  She felt him shift on the couch beside her and her heart leapt.  Her pulse began racing, wondering if he was going to touch her in some way.  Give me a sign, JC.  She thought.  I don't know what to do.  As a few more moments passed-JC doing nothing-Rachel bit her bottom lip, as she put her feet back down on the floor and leaned forward.  After watching Harrison Ford and Sean Connery running and fighting Nazi soldiers for another couple minutes Rachel finally gave up.  Screw it.  She thought.  I'm just going to go for it.  He said he wanted to see if this was real...so let's see.   

~~~~~

JC struggled to breathe evenly, hoping Rachel wouldn't notice how his heart was racing sitting here next to her.  He tried to stay focused on the movie, but couldn't.  He wanted to pull her next to him-wanted to hold her, to touch her in some way-but she sat there with her arms around her drawn up legs, giving him no hint whatsoever that she wanted him to touch her and he didn't want to push her.  He watched from the corner of his eyes as she put her feet back on the floor and leaned forward, her eyes focused on the screen in front of them.

"This is my favorite...part..." He trailed off as Rachel shifted beside him.  She brought her legs up, tucking them beneath her as her knees came to rest against his thigh, and his heart skipped a few beats.  Rachel laid her head against his shoulder and he smiled, turning his head slightly as the movie continued, and rested his cheek against the top of her head.  He inhaled deeply as the smell of her shampoo did a number on him.  He'd never smelled raspberry shampoo before but suddenly decided it was his favorite.  Closing his eyes he moved his arm, placing it around her shoulders and pulling her closer as she snuggled against him.

~~~~~

Rachel smiled as she put a hand on JC's chest and relaxed against him.  She felt him kiss the top of her head and her stomach flipped.  He moved the hand that was resting on her shoulders, his fingers coming up-softly tracing the outline of her ear and playing with the hair that had escaped her ponytail holder.  Rachel shivered at his touch. 

"Are you cold?" He asked, tightening his arm around her.

"No." She whispered, raising her head and looking at him as he looked down at her.  They both smiled and she once again laid her head on his shoulder.  Rachel yawned and felt her eye lids grow heavy.  The food in her stomach, the darkness of the apartment and the warm, comfortable body next to her all worked to lull her into a more relaxed state and before she knew it she was falling asleep.   

Rachel awoke some time later and slowly opened her eyes, yawning.  She snuggled closer to JC, his warmth and the delicious scent of his cologne putting her in heaven.  The movie had apparently ended and the television had been turned off.  Her apartment was dark and quiet.  She could still hear the rain falling outside.  Closing her eyes again Rachel moved the hand that had been resting on his chest down and across his stomach, her arm resting against his waist.  She heard him groan quietly and looked up, smiling as she took in his sleeping features.  His left elbow was propped up on the arm of the couch, his head resting in his hand-his handsome face relaxed in sleep.  His legs were stretched out, his ankles crossed as his feet rested on her coffee table amid the wrappers of the food they'd eaten.  Looking back up at his face, Rachel wanted to reach up and run her fingers over the slight stubble covering his jaw-but that would require moving her arm and releasing the hold she hand on him and she wasn't sure she wanted to let go of him yet.    

Just then, JC let out another groan as he moved, his arm releasing her as he raised both arms above his head and stretched.  Rachel watched him, smiling as his sleepy blue eyes opened and looked at her.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Hey." He said, the low gravely tone of his voice making her heart flutter.  "What time is it?" He asked, as he looked at her.

"Almost seven." Rachel informed him after looking at her phone.  "Mmmm...the rain always makes me tired."  She stretched.  "Oh, I'm a mess." She said, running her hand over her hair and looking down at herself.  "What?" She asked as he just sat there looking at her.

"You're beautiful." He said.

"I look like crap." She responded with a chuckle.  "Are you still asleep?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head.  "You're beautiful and I better get going." He said, moving to stand.  

"Why?" Rachel asked.  "You don't have to go."

~~~~~

JC sat there looking at her, the tiredness he was feeling quickly leaving as she sat there looking at him.  "Yeah..." He drawled.  "Yeah, I do."

When Rachel had fallen asleep against him he had turned the movie off and just let her sleep-relishing the feeling of having her in his arms.  It had been a powerful feeling when she'd curled up against him-the knowledge that she trusted him enough to make herself that vulnerable to him making him resolve to never break that trust.  If he stayed he knew what would happen and he also knew that with that inevitable outcome the trust she'd given him would be taken away.  For once in his life, he wasn't in a rush to sleep with a girl.  For once in his life, he wanted to take things slowly.  He'd meant what he'd told her yesterday-he wanted to see if what they had was real and he didn't want whatever they had going to be cheapened in any way. 

JC stood slowly and she followed.  He watched as she walked to the television, took the DVD out of the player, put it in its case then turned and walked back to him.  As he took the movie from her, Rachel brushed some of the hair that had escaped while she slept from her eyes, then wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest.  Breathing deeply, JC wrapped his arms around her as well, resting his chin atop her head. 

After a minute she pulled back and looked up at him, saying nothing though her eyes conveyed everything he was feeling.  He lifted one hand and cupped her face, his thumb caressing her cheek.  Lowering his head he pressed his lips against hers and kissed her softly.  Resting his forehead against hers, JC opened his eyes and stared into hers.  What are you doing to me? He wanted to ask, feeling himself falling-hard.  He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip.  "I'll call you later." He said, kissing her once more before turning and leaving the apartment.

~~~~~

Rachel leaned against the door, watching as JC walked out to the parking lot.  She raised a hand and ran her fingertips over her lips.  She could still feel his lips against hers and it made a tingle run down her spine.  She sighed as she saw him drive away and finally shut the door.  Leaning back against it, Rachel smiled as she thought about the last couple hours, once again feeling a tingle go down her spine.  How in the world had she won the lottery and ended up with JC Chasez interested in her?  Rachel shook her head in disbelief, walking back towards the couch when she heard her phone vibrate on the coffee table.  Flipping it open she read the text she'd received, a smile spreading across her face.

I want to see you again. 

She quickly typed out a response and sent it to him.

I'm sure that can be arranged.  What do you have in mind? 

Rachel pulled her legs up beneath her on the couch as she waited for JC to answer.

Dinner.  Tomorrow.  What do you say?

Typing her answer-yes-Rachel sent the message then began cleaning up all the wrappers on the coffee table.  She had just sat back down on the couch, turning on the television to see what was on when her phone vibrated again.  Picking it up she flipped it open and read:

Are you dead?  How come  you haven't answered any of my texts today?

Muting the television Rachel dialed Megan's number.

"So you're not dead!" Megan exclaimed when she answered. 

"No.  I'm not dead." Rachel chuckled.

"You've been unusually quiet today." Megan observed. 

"I've been a little preoccupied." Rachel replied, curling up on the couch in the spot where JC had been sitting, the cushions still holding the residual warmth of his body.

"With what?"

"JC."

"What?" Megan's attention instantly grabbed.  "What happened?"

"We slept together." Rachel replied, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

"Are you serious?!" Megan screamed.  "You slept with him?"

"Yeah." Rachel answered; fighting the laughter she felt building.

"When...how...uh...you better start talking."

Rachel chuckled.  "Calm down, Megs."

"Calm down?  Calm down? How in the hell am I supposed to calm down?  You just slept with JC Chasez?!  How come you're not freaking out?" She asked, clearly confused at Rachel's calm demeanor over the phone.

"It's really not that big of a deal." Rachel answered, looking at her fingernails.

"It's not..." Megan trailed off in complete shock.  "Okay, who are you and what the hell have you done with my best friend?"  Finally Rachel laughed.  "Is this a joke?" Megan asked.  "If this is a joke we will cease to be friends.  Right now.  I'm serious."

"I wasn't feeling well today." Rachel explained.  "So I took the day off.  He called me this morning and I told him I was sick, then he showed up a few hours ago and we went and got something to eat then watched a movie and we both fell asleep on the couch."

"So you slept together.  Literally." Megan stated in clarification.

"Yeah.  That's what I said." Rachel giggled.  "We slept together."

"I hate you." Megan responded.  "Here I was getting all excited and nothing actually happened.  You're evil."

"Muahaha!" Rachel laughed evilly.

"Quit being a brat."

"We're going to dinner tomorrow night." Rachel said.

"Where?"

"I don't know.  He didn't say."

"Rachel?" Megan asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you realize that you're dating JC Chasez?!  Ahhh!!" Megan exclaimed excitedly and Rachel giggled.  "Sometimes I really do hate you." Megan said.

"No you don't.  You love me!" Rachel insisted still giggling.

"Yeah, you're right." Megan sighed.  "So..."

"So?"

"So what else is new?"

Rachel chuckled.  "Um...he's a very comfortable pillow and he kissed me again.  Twice."  Megan sighed dreamily and Rachel laughed.  "Okay, seriously.  Does Jackson know you're in love with someone else?  ‘Cause I'm going to tell him if you haven't."  Megan laughed.  "What is it about the boy that makes him so attractive to us?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know." Megan replied, still giggling.  "You tell me.  You're the one that's dating him."

"It's the eyes." Rachel sighed.  "And the arms, and his voice and...the way he holds me and the way he kisses me.  Ah, hell!" Rachel laughed.  "It's the whole damn package!"

"Careful, Ray." Megan teased.  "I think you're falling in love."

"Too late." Rachel admitted.  "Too late."

"Yeah." He drawled and looked over at her, unsure of the fear he heard in her voice.

"I can't go in there." She looked at him, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Because..." He trailed off, his eyes once more traveling appreciatively over the little black dress she was wearing.  When he'd shown up at her apartment thirty minutes ago he thought for sure his heart had stopped.  She'd opened the door wearing this sleek little number-leaving just enough skin exposed that he was dying to expose more-and a pair of four inch heels that made her incredible legs seem to go on forever. 

"Because...because I'm not a celebrity!" She stated firmly, bringing his thoughts back to the present.  He shook his head slightly and gripped the steering wheel.  "There are going to be cameras all over.  I watch TMZ, I know how this works.  I know this is a paparazzi hang out.  I don't want my picture taken.  I can't go in there.  They're going to start asking me questions, then they're going to find out my name and figure out that we're dating.  Not that I'm ashamed that we're dating I just...everyone will know and I...I just don't think--"

"Hey." He said gently twisting his body in the seat, reaching for and grabbing one of her hands.  "Hey, look at me."  She did and he smiled reassuringly.  "We can go somewhere else, Rachel, its okay." He chuckled.   

She sighed.  "I know you're used to all of this, JC but...you're going to have to break me in slowly.  I tend to get a little stressed out in new situations and this..." Rachel gestured towards the restaurant.  "This is a little more than I think I can handle right now."

He chuckled as he laced his fingers with hers and left the parking lot.  "We'll take it slow.  Where do you want to go?" He asked.

Rachel was quiet for a moment as he pulled the car back out into traffic.  "Italian?" She finally answered.  "Somewhere with a view."

"Italian with a view, huh?" He thought for a second.  "Alright." He smiled at her.

"Why are you so wonderful?" Rachel asked, leaning the side of her head against the car seat as she looked over at him. 

"I'm trying to impress you." He winked at her as he gently squeezed her hand.

"Well, it's working." Rachel admitted and he smiled.

"Rachel, you know that with us dating there are going to be pictures taken, right?"

She remained quiet and he looked over at her in concern.  Rachel had expressed her unease a few days ago about her picture being on TV.  He knew she was hesitant about his popularity and the subsequent light that now threw into her life, but he hadn't expected her to freak out like she just had.  He was a little worried.  She needed to understand what was going to happen but at the same time he was hesitant to tell her for fear it would make her rethink being with him.  

"Once people find out about us they're going to be all over the story." He explained.  "They're going to want to find out who you are.  I'm not telling you this to make you scared or talk you out of wanting to be with me because that is the last thing I want.  I'm just letting you know that things could get a little crazy for the next little while."

~~~~~

"Great." She replied sarcastically.  He squeezed her fingers again, then brought her hand up and kissed the back of it before he rested it on his thigh. 

Rachel tried to relax as he drove, but her mind was racing.  Dating JC was turning out to be better than any dream she'd ever had but was she really prepared for everything that came along with dating a celebrity?  She read the tabloid magazines while she was in line at the grocery store, she watched the entertainment shows on television, she knew most of the stuff was made up-but knowing people were going to be making up things about her was an unsettling thought.  Did she want anyone she'd ever known seeing her picture in The National Enquirer?  Did she want all the people back home to read some made up story about her while they waited to buy their milk and eggs?  Did she want her picture posted all over?  Was she ready for this?  Was it worth being with him to endure all of the publicity?  

JC reached over and flipped on the radio, and Rachel turned to look at him, watching as his fingers began drumming on the steering.  She smiled as she recognized the beat and his body began moving.  As the second verse started, Rachel tucked her hair behind her ears and began rapping along with Vanilla Ice. 

JC looked over at her, a huge smile on his face-his eyes twinkling-and his brows rose in admiration.  He laughed out loud as she began rapping along with the last verse, and he joined in.

Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed
This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say damn
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while Shay revolves it.

Ice ice baby.

"Nice!" JC laughed as Rachel repeated the chorus.  "Now I'm the one that's impressed.  How do you know all the words to this song?"

Rachel laughed.  "Megan and I did a lip sync to it sophomore year in high school for a talent show."

"Did you win?" He asked. 

"No." Rachel laughed as she shook her head.  "We did it to impress a couple of guys."

"Did it work?"

"Well it got us dates the next couple Fridays...but not with the guys we were trying to impress."

JC pulled the car into the parking lot of the restaurant he'd decided to take Rachel to instead of The Ivy.  As he put the car in park he turned and looked over at her. 

"What?" She asked, her cheeks turning pink at his continued perusal.

"What other surprises do you have up your sleeve?" He asked. 

"That's for me to know and you to find out." She responded, her brown eyes sparkling. 

"And I will." He promised. "I will."  

~~~~~~

Rachel knocked on JC's front door Monday morning and waited for him to answer.  When he didn't, she pulled his key from her pocket and let herself into the house.  "Jace?" She called out as she shut the door behind her.  She listened for a moment but didn't hear anything.  She'd come by to see the work Tony and his guys had been able to do last week while she'd been out sick.  Walking back towards the great room she kept an eye out for JC. 

After admiring the new look of the room Rachel walked downstairs to see if they'd been able to get the shelves built in the game room.  She smiled when she reached the bottom step and saw the shelves lining the far wall.  Time to call the painters. She thought, turning to leave.  However, a light coming from down the hall caught her attention.  Deciding to be nosey, Rachel wandered towards the open door and smiled as she peeked around the corner.

JC sat playing at an electric keyboard, the headphones he had on plugged into the instrument.  She leaned against the door frame, watching as he sat with his eyes closed, his body moving to the melody his fingers were creating.  She watched as his lips moved silently, singing along to the music that only he could hear.  Straightening, Rachel turned and headed back towards the stairs, intent on leaving him to his work.

~~~~~

"Rachel?" JC called out, surprised to see her disappear from the corner of his eye.  He wondered if he'd just imagined her, until she came back to stand in the doorway.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." She said.  "I just came to see what Tony was able to do last week.  I saw the light on down here and was curious."

"Sit down." He said, lowering the headphones from his ears-looping them around his neck.  She stepped into the room and sat in the chair he gestured towards.  "I want you to tell me what you think." He said, pushing a few buttons on the keyboard.  He glanced over at her then focused his attention on replaying the melody he'd been thinking about and formulating the last couple days.

~~~~~

Rachel sat mesmerized as JC's fingers moved over the keys of the keyboard-a simple yet beautiful melody filling the small studio.  He began humming along, and she closed her eyes as the music he was creating washed over her-her heart melting.  Slowly she opened her eyes as the music stopped.  How is it possible for one man to be this talented? She thought, watching him.

"What do you think?" He asked, his blue eyes watching her intently.

"Does it matter what I think?" She asked.  "You're the musician, what do you think?"

"I want to know what you think." He said.

Rachel smiled.  "It's beautiful." She admitted honestly.  He smiled.  "Is it...is it for your next album?" She asked.

"Maybe." JC answered, removing the headphones from around his neck and standing.  "It's just something I'm playing around with right now, but..." He shrugged.  "Maybe.  We'll see."

Rachel stood as he walked towards her, her heart thumping in her chest.  She was still trying to get used to the fact that she was dating her teenage idol and when he looked at her like that...it didn't help matters.  Her sixteen year old self wanted to jump around and scream like an idiot.  However, the normal almost twenty-seven year old Rachel calmly put her arms around his neck and kissed him quickly.

"I've got to get back to the office." She said, moving to step away, but smiling when his arms came around her waist.

"Do you have to?" He asked, kissing her a few times.

"Yes." Rachel replied licking her lips and smiling up at him.  "I've got a ton of stuff waiting for me since I took off Thursday and Friday.  I'll probably be there late tonight."  She chuckled when JC pouted.  Rachel ran a hand over his face and pulled him down to kiss him again.  When she pulled back a moment later he tightened his arms around her.  "I'll call you later." She said.

"You better." He smiled at her, kissed her quickly one last time, and then let her go.

"Work on that song." She told him, putting a hand to his chest.  "I can't wait to hear what it sounds like when you're done with it." She smiled then turned and left the room.

~~~~~

JC blew out a breath as he sat back down in his chair and smiled.  Rubbing the back of his neck he swiveled around and picked up the headphones, once more placing them over his ears.  Plugging them in, he played the first few measures of his new song, then stopped.  Sitting up straight he thought for a moment then swung around in his chair.  Searching the studio for a piece of paper and a pen, JC found what he needed and bent his head quickly writing down the lyrics that had suddenly popped into his head.  A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth as he began testing them out, putting the words to music.  He felt a rush of excitement go through him as the song began to take form.  Finally!  He thought.  Some inspiration.       

~~~~~~

"What's something you always wanted as a kid and that you bought as soon as you could when you were an adult?" Rachel asked Wednesday evening.  JC looked up from the Chinese they'd ordered and thought for a moment-looking at her across his kitchen table while he chewed.

"A motorcycle." He replied, taking another bite of chow mien.

"You have a motorcycle?"  Rachel looked at him, raising a skeptical brow as she smiled. 

"Yeah, why?" He asked.

"You just...you just don't strike me as..."

"What?" He chuckled at her hedging.

Rachel took bite of the beef and broccoli in front of her, then swallowed as she leaned across the table.  "You're just not the motorcycle type, JC." She said.

"There's a type?" He asked, raising one brow.

"Yes, and you're not it."

"What am I then?" He asked with a chuckle, using his chopsticks to put another bite in his mouth.

"You're more the ‘hi, I'm JC and I like to think I'm a badass,' not ‘hi, I'm JC and I really am a badass' type."

"What the hell does that mean?" He laughed.

"Be honest." Rachel said, pointing her own chopsticks at him and narrowing her eyes.  "Have you ever ridden it or did you get it just so you could say you had one?"

"Alright, get up." He said, wiping his hands on a napkin and standing.

"What?" Rachel laughed, sitting back and looking up at him. 

"I said, get up." He repeated, walking around the table and holding his hand out to her.

"Okay..." Rachel said, placing her chopsticks on the table and slipping her hand into his.  "What are we doing?"

"I am proving something to you." He said as he laced his fingers with hers.  He led her through the kitchen and out to the garage.  Rachel watched as he grabbed a set of keys from a hook by the door and laughed when he pushed a button on the wall, opening the garage door, then led her towards a large silver bike.  Letting go of her hand he straddled the object of their conversation.

"What are you doing?" Rachel laughed. 

"Come on." He said, as she stood looking at him.  "Are you coming or not?" He asked turning a key and bringing the bike to life.  Rachel jumped a bit as the noise filled the garage and couldn't help the giggle that escaped as he started slowly backing the bike out of the garage.  He looked once more at her, his grin and the glint in his eyes completely melting her.  She walked the few steps separating them then, and placed her hands on his shoulders she climbed on behind him.  "Hold on." He said turning the bike and pointing it towards the road.  Rachel wrapped her arms around him, her hands resting against his chest as he put the bike in gear. 

It was official.  She'd died and gone to heaven.  Riding with JC on a motorcycle?  Thank you. She said, looking up at the sky.  She bit her bottom lip and smiled as she pressed her cheek against his back.  As JC drove them through town Rachel kept her arms around him, her face pressed against his back, enjoying the rush.

After winding up into the hills behind his house for a bit, JC pulled the bike off to the side of the road.  Rachel loosened her arms from around him as he leaned the bike on its kickstand and finally silenced the motor.  Straightening, Rachel ran her fingers through her wind blown hair.  "It's beautiful up here." She said, placing her hands on her thighs and looking around them.  She smiled as he moved to stand up.  She was about to get off the bike as well when he turned and, throwing his leg back over the bike, suddenly sat facing her.  "What are you--"

Her words were cut off as he leaned forward and captured her mouth with his, his hands coming up, his fingers brushing along her skin then tangling in her hair.  Rachel closed her eyes and moaned.  Her own hands grabbed onto his biceps, then slowly moved up over his shoulders and around the back of his head.  Her fingers dug into his hair and she moved forward slightly, seeking to close what little space remained between them.  

JC removed one hand from her hair as he tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss between them.  As his free hand came to rest on her hip, gently tugging and bringing her even closer, Rachel moved her legs so they were on top of his and she was sitting in his lap.  JC's hand massaged her hip and Rachel tore her lips from his in an effort to refill her lungs with some much needed oxygen.  She groaned as his lips trailed down her neck and she let her head fall back-his hand still cradling the back of her head-granting him access to her throat.  Her entire body became engulfed in delicious tingles as his lips and tongue continued to roam along her skin.  Before long his mouth was once more on hers-kissing her so intensely, so passionately she knew she was going to spontaneously combust at any moment.  She felt his teeth gently graze her bottom lip as he took it between his own and she feared she was going to pass out.

After the kiss in his kitchen last week JC had been somewhat reserved when it came to his physical affections, but here...here was the man she remembered from Megan's wedding-his unrestrained passion flowed over her, making her want to throw all caution to the wind.  Rachel knew if he asked her what he'd asked her a year ago she wouldn't refuse him.  She couldn't refuse him.  Please don't let him ask. She found herself praying as his hand on her hip slowly moved upward, taking the hem of her shirt with it.  She wasn't ready.  She gasped as his fingertips brushed along the sensitive skin above the waistband of her jeans and tore her lips from his. 

JC looked at her, breathing heavily, his fingers still brushing along the soft skin he'd just exposed.  "Wow." He said, shaking his head.  Rachel chuckled.

"Feel better?" She asked with a cocky grin at the amazed expression on his face.

"Baby, you have no idea." He chuckled as he removed his hand from her waist and brushed the back of it across her cheek.

"Don't call me baby." Rachel said as he moved to kiss her again.  He pulled back slightly and looked at her in question.  "I don't like being called ‘baby'."

"Alright." He said watching her closely.  Once more he pressed his lips to hers.  "Come on." He said, pulling back again.  He put both hands on her hips and moved her back slightly and off of him then dismounted the bike.  "I want to show you something."

Rachel swung her leg over the bike and allowed JC to lead her down an overgrown trail.  After a minute or two of walking through the bushes and tall grass they came to a clearing at the edge of a cliff.  Rachel smiled as the lights of the city filled her view.  "So what do you say?" JC asked, moving to stand behind her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.  "Do you think I'm a badass now?" He whispered as he kissed her cheek.

Rachel laughed.  "No." She turned in his arms and wound her arms around his waist.  "But I wouldn't have it any other way." She said as she decided to be a bit daring and slipped her hands into the back pockets of his jeans.  He smirked at her and raised a brow as she grinned up at him.

"What are you doing Friday night?" He asked as she laid her head against his chest.

"You tell me." Rachel replied.  "What am I doing Friday night?"

He chuckled.  "I want to take you out for your birthday."

"My birthday's on Monday." Rachel said, leaning back and looking at him, surprised that he had remembered her birthday was coming up.

"I know." He said, looking down at her as he swayed them back and forth a bit.  "But there's really not a whole lot we can do on a Monday night."

"What did you have in mind?" She asked.

"I've been dying to see you back out on the dance floor." He admitted with a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes.

"Oh yeah?" Rachel asked, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked up at him through her lashes.

"Yeah." He said.  "What do you say?" He asked, looking at her, one hand coming up to cup her cheek.  "Will you go dancing with me?"

"When should I be ready?" 

~~~~~~

"Are you at home?" Megan asked over the phone the next afternoon.

"I just walked in." Rachel answered.  "I had to go to the store and can I just say that it amazes me sometimes how stupid people can be?"

Megan chuckled.  "What?"

"Get this," Rachel said.  "So I'm standing in line and there's this couple in front of me and they are all over each other.  And I mean, all over.  She's got both arms around him, and he's got one of his hands in her back pocket and they're standing there kissing and I wanted to say, ‘Really, you can't wait till you get home?  You have to make out right here in line at Safeway?'" 

Megan laughed as Rachel sighed dramatically.  "I'm failing to see where the stupidity comes in." Megan said.

"Oh just wait." Rachel responded as she set her purse down on the counter and began putting her groceries away.  "It gets better.  So, finally the little old woman in front of Mr. and Mrs. PDA leaves and they walk up to the register.  Do you want to guess what they were buying?" Rachel asked.

"Uh...condoms?" Megan asked.

"Ha!" Rachel laughed.  "No.  They have a carton of strawberries and a can of whip cream.  And that's it."  Megan chuckled.  "So they walk up and the girl at the register looks at the two items and then asks, get ready." Rachel warned.  "She asks, ‘Are you guys going to a party?'"  Megan busted out laughing.  "I'm sorry." Rachel continued sarcastically.  "A party?  What kind of party requires you to bring a carton of strawberries and a can of whip cream?"

"A party for two." Megan replied through her laughter.

"Exactly." Rachel said.  "I couldn't believe it."

"What did they say?" Megan asked.

"They looked at each other then the guy says, ‘yeah' and the girl kind of giggles.  I swear." Rachel said, sitting down on her couch and kicking off her heels.  "People amaze me."  She sighed.  "So...how are you?" 

"Is your computer on?" Megan asked.

"Uh, it can be.  Why?" Rachel asked as she grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and lifted the screen.

"Get online." Megan said.  "You need to see something."

"Okay." Rachel said.  "Hold on."  She gathered her hair back into a ponytail as she waited for her computer to wake up.  "What is it?" She asked.

"You'll see." Megan answered vaguely.

"Alright, I'm on.  Where am I going?" Rachel asked once she'd connected to the internet.

"Go to TMZ's website."

"Alright." Rachel typed in the familiar address.  As she waited for the page to load she tapped her finger against the keyboard impatiently.  However, as the front page finally loaded she gasped, her hand coming to cover her mouth, her eyes wide as her heart began racing.

"Is there...anything you want to tell me?" Megan asked.

"Uh..." Rachel stammered as she took in the top gossip thread's headline: JC Chasez and Mystery Girlfriend Caught Cruising, directly above a photo of her and JC on his motorcycle last night.  "Well you...I..."

Megan started laughing.  "Exactly how long have you known JC had a motorcycle and when were you going to tell me?!"

"Uh...JC has a motorcycle..." Rachel's answer sounded more than a question.

"Really?" Megan responded sarcastically and then started laughing. Rachel joined in.  "Is it wrong of me to admit that he looks hella hot on that thing?" Megan asked.

Rachel continued laughing.  "No," she finally said, "Because he is." She laid her head back on her back of the couch.

"Okay," Megan said excitedly.  "You have to tell me...how was it?!"

"How was what?" Rachel asked with a smirk, even though Megan couldn't see her.

"Riding on the back of JC's motorcycle...with JC!" Megan exclaimed.  "Duh!  What else?"

Rachel couldn't help the giggle that escaped as the memory of exactly how it had felt came over her.  She sighed deeply as the butterflies she'd experienced returned-full force.  "It was...it was amazing!  Thrilling!  Mind blowing!"

"So..." Megan asked.  "What happened?  Tell me, tell me!"

Rachel related the events leading up to JC taking her riding then sighed.  "There I was the wind in my hair, and my arms around the guy I've dreamed of my entire life and the only thing I could think was, ‘This can't be real.  This can't be real.'  I kept waiting to wake up and find out it was all a dream."

"But it wasn't." Megan said.

"No." Rachel replied still in shock.  "It wasn't.  I still haven't figured out how or why, but it wasn't a dream.  And then he kissed me."

"It's because you're beautiful and amazing and...wait!  He kissed you?"

"Oh boy did he kiss me." Rachel sighed.  "He's been holding back since the kiss that led to him confessing he knew who I was but last night..." She shook her head, and closed her eyes as the sensations she'd experienced last night in JC's arms came back.

"Last night?" Megan prompted.

"Last night he let go, Megan." She giggled.  "And it was good."  Megan was silent on the other end of the line.  "Megs?" Rachel asked, thinking she'd dropped the call.

"How good was it?" Megan asked, suddenly sounding serious and concerned.

"What?" Rachel asked confused.

"The kiss." Megan said.  "How good was it?  Did you...did you sleep with him last night?"

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed.  "No!"

"Are you going to sleep with him?" Megan questioned.

"What are you, my mother?" Rachel asked sarcastically.  "Why are we talking about this?"

Megan sighed.  "Because we both know it's going to happen.  Are you ready?"

Rachel was quiet as she closed her eyes.  "I don't want to talk about this." She said, feeling herself shutting down in an effort to stop the memories she felt floating to the surface once again.

"Rachel--"

"Megan, please." Rachel plead.  She sighed.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know." Rachel replied quietly. 

"You two seem really happy together." Megan observed.  "And I'm excited for you, but Rachel...you can't keep running from your past.  Sooner or later you're going to have to confront your fears."

"I know." Rachel answered.  "I know.  I just...I don't want to scare him away.  I don't want him to look at me differently.  Once I tell him he's going to look at and treat me different and I don't want that."

"What do you think he's going to do when you guys do decide to take the next step and you freak out when he touches you?"  Megan paused.  "Rachel, listen to me.  If you see this relationship going anywhere you need to tell him.  He needs to know.  Otherwise he's not going to realize what's going on in your head and when you freeze up or freak out he's going to think he's done something wrong.  He's not going to understand what's going on."

Rachel began chewing on her thumbnail.  "You should have been a psychiatrist." She said and Megan chuckled.  "You're wasting your time being a graphic designer."

"Maybe I'll go back to school when the baby's born." She replied, making Rachel laugh quietly.  "Tell him, Ray." Megan said.  "Trust him.  He's a great guy and he'll understand.  If he really cares about you, which I think he does, it won't make any difference to him.  And this way he'll know he needs to take things slow and let you set the pace."

"Have I mentioned recently how grateful I am to have you as a best friend?" Rachel asked.  Megan chuckled.  "I mean it, Megs.  I know where I'd be without you and I..."

"I love you too." Megan said and Rachel blinked back the tears she felt coming.

"Let's talk about something else." Rachel said. 

"Like what?" Megan asked

"Like the fact that JC is taking me out tomorrow night for my birthday."

"Really?" Megan asked excitedly.  "Where's he taking you?"

"I don't know." Rachel said.  "All he said was he wanted me to go dancing with him and that he's picking me up at eight."       

"Ooh..." Megan drawled.  "Dancing, hmmm?  That could be kind of scandalous..."

Rachel giggled.  "Here's hoping."

Rachel sighed as the conversation she'd had with Megan last night continued to play in her head.  She stood staring unseeing at the clothes hanging in her closet.  If this relationship was going to go anywhere Megan was right-JC needed to know about her past but she was scared.  Besides Megan, and the psychologist she'd gone to for a few months, Rachel had never told anyone the details of what happened that night.  She was afraid.  She'd told Megan that the reason she didn't want to tell JC was because she didn't want him to look at her differently, but that wasn't the real reason.  She was scared that once she opened up to him, she'd be overcome with memories.  That was a dark period in her life-one that she had no wish whatsoever in reliving and she wasn't sure she could do it.  She'd fought the darkness once.  Could she do it again?  Could she tell JC what had happened and not sink back into her depression?  Was she strong enough?  Could she trust JC?  She had trusted Brian and he'd hurt her.

The vibrating of her phone on her dresser pulled her from her thoughts.  Rachel picked up the phone and flipped it open.

Just because it's your birthday and you're probably going to be drinking. Don't get too carried away tonight.

Rachel chuckled at Megan's text.  She quickly sent a response.

Thanks Mom.

Going back to her closet Rachel pulled out her favorite pair of black pants and the red halter top she'd recently purchased.  Once she'd changed, Rachel curled her hair and put on some light makeup.  She was applying some lip gloss when she heard a knock at her door.  Her heart skipped and she grinned excitedly as she went to let him in.

"Happy birthday." JC said with an adorable grin, his blue eyes sparkling.  He pulled a small box wrapped in blue wrapping paper from behind his back and held it out to her.

"What's this?" Rachel asked, taking the present from him.

"Open it." He said, watching her.  Rachel looked at him for a moment then smiled and began unwrapping the gift.

"You got me an Ipod?" Rachel looked up at him in disbelief when she'd uncovered the box.

JC shrugged as his grin grew.  "I figured, someone who owns every single album I've ever been a part of, can sing along perfectly with Sheryl Crow and knows every word to Ice, Ice Baby needs an Ipod.  Frankly it's a crime that you've gone this long without one." He said.  Rachel laughed. 

"Thank you." She said putting her arms around his neck and kissing him.  "This is turning out to be a pretty awesome birthday." 

JC laughed as he put his arms around her waist.  "Are you ready?" He asked.

"I just have to put my shoes on." She said, placing his gift on the counter.  "I'll be right back."

~~~~~

JC watched as Rachel disappeared down the hall, his eyes following her appreciatively, as he leaned back against the wall.  The red glittery halter she was wearing revealed her shoulders and left most of her back exposed.  He could see her tattoo and his fingers itched to run over her soft skin.  He grinned in anticipation.  He'd been frustrated in his attempt to dance with her last time at the club, but nothing was going to keep him from her tonight.  

He straightened and smiled as she came back into the room a few inches taller than when she'd left.  His eyes traveled down the length of her, taking in the black strappy heels she had put on, as she transferred a few items from her purse on the table to the small black clutch she had now.

"Ready." She said, smiling at him.

"Shall we?" He asked, offering her his arm.

~~~~~

Rachel could hear the music coming from the club as JC pulled his car to the curb and got out.  She watched as he handed his keys to a young man in a maroon uniform and hurried around the car, giving her his hand as she opened her door and stepped out.  Her thoughts were racing as he squeezed her hand as he laced his fingers with hers.  Was she really going out?  To a club?  With JC Chasez?!  Rachel grinned as JC looked at her and winked.  Oh if only Kim, Nicole and Charlotte could see me now.  Rachel thought.  The girls at work liked to tease her over the pictures she had up in her cube of JC and N SYNC, but who was the one out with Mr. N SYNC himself tonight?

Walking past the security at the door Rachel and JC made their way inside.  Rachel checked her purse at the coat check and then let JC lead her through the crowd.  When he stopped at a table up by the stage he asked what she wanted to drink.

"I'll be right back." He said then turned and made his way towards the bar.

Rachel sat in one of the high chairs and waited, content to watch the crowd for a moment, the strong beat coming from the sound system pulsing through her.  She watched a couple of giggling girls approach JC at the bar.  He turned and smiled at them and talked with them as he waited for the bartender to get the drinks he'd ordered.  Rachel tilted her head and rested her chin in her hand as she watched him interact with the girls.  One of them pulled out a camera and JC smiled obligingly.  What's it like? Rachel wondered.  To have people you've never met come up to you, acting like they know you?  Rachel's eyes found JC's as he turned, a drink in both hands, and left the two girls as he began making his way towards her. 

"Thanks, hot stuff." She said as he reached the table and held out her drink.

"You're welcome." He replied, lifting the bottle he'd gotten for himself to his lips. 

"Jace!" Someone called out and JC turned, a grin brightening his features as someone materialized out of the crowd.  "I thought that was you, man!" 

Rachel watched, her drink frozen halfway to her mouth in shock, as the two men shook hands then pulled each other in for a hug. 

"What're you doing here?" JC asked pulling back and leaning back against the table.

"I was going to ask you the same question."

"I'm here with this pretty girl." JC said, turning his head and winking at Rachel.  "We're celebrating."    

Breathe.  Rachel told herself as JC's friend turned his eyes on her and smiled.  Breathe. She told herself.  Somehow she'd managed to put her drink down on the table without spilling it all over herself, which was a miracle.  I'm going to die. Rachel thought as she watched all six-feet-one-inch of the sexiest man alive come to stand in front of her.  He looked incredible!  The worn jeans he wore sat low on his hips, a wide black belt at his waist.  He had on a dark green T-shirt with a black V-neck sweater pulled over the top with the sleeves pushed up his arms.  And, much to Rachel's hormone's enjoyment, he hadn't shaved before coming which meant he had just the right amount of scruff on his chin and jaw. 

"Hey." He said standing in front of her-a sexy crooked grin appearing on his face.  Yes, he really did bring sexy back. Rachel thought.  Her knees felt suspiciously like Jell-O as he winked at her.  "I'm Justin." He said.

Yes you are! Rachel thought.  However, the only thing that left her mouth was a two syllable sound that made JC laugh from where he stood.  "Ha-a..." She wanted to slap herself for being such a complete idiot.  She took a deep breath, trying to clear her head.

"Rachel." She finally choked out holding out her hand.

"Rachel, huh?" Justin asked, taking her hand.  "That's a pretty name." He said, his voice flowing over her causing everything that was female inside of her to stand at attention.  Once again he flashed his trademark grin and Rachel felt her cheeks warm as she continued looking into his sparkling blue eyes. 

"Thanks." She replied.  "I've never really liked it." She found herself admitting. 

"I like it." JC piped up, but neither Rachel nor Justin seemed to notice-her attention was completely focused on Justin.  She didn't notice the slow disappearance of JC's smile as his laughter quieted.  She didn't notice the way his dark blue eyes bounced back and forth intently between her and Justin.  She didn't notice the way his hands slowly fisted as Justin leaned closer to her.  All she noticed was the breathtaking man in front of her.  She caught a whiff of Justin's aftershave and about died.  The man even smells sexy.  Rachel thought.

"You wanna dance?" Justin asked her.  Rachel grinned excitedly as she placed her hand in his.

"Yeah." She said. 

"We--" JC started, but Justin cut him off.

"I'll bring her back in one piece, C." He said, helping Rachel from her chair.  "I promise." Rachel giggled as she let Justin lead her out towards the dance floor.  "What are you celebrating?" Justin asked.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Jace said you two were here celebrating." He clarified.  "What are you celebrating?"

"My birthday." Rachel answered.

"Happy birthday." He offered as they reached the dance floor and he began moving to the beat of the music playing.

This has got to be a dream. Rachel thought as she began dancing.  Any moment I'm going to wake up...

~~~~~

JC stood rooted in place as he watched Justin and Rachel dancing.  He folded his arms across his chest and fought the desire to pout like a child that had had his favorite toy taken away.  He'd known Justin for years.  He knew how the guy operated.  Justin was a smooth talker when it came to women-and it irked JC that women were so instantly affected by the sexuality that literally dripped off of him.  He had seen women fall for Justin's charms time and again and it had never bothered him like it did as he stood there watching Rachel falling for it.  He was the one who was dating Rachel.  He was the one who had brought her here tonight to celebrate her birthday.  He should be the one dancing with her right now.  He stopped.  Why wasn't he the one dancing with her right now?  Taking another swig of his beer JC narrowed his eyes and stalked towards the dancing pair.

~~~~~

Rachel giggled as she turned and found Justin watching her.  This is the best birthday of my life!  Wait till Megan hears about this!  She watched as his eyes traveled the length of her and felt like melting into the floor as his eyes connected once more with hers.

"What's so funny?" He asked over the music.

"I'm your biggest fan." She admitted eliciting a chuckle from him, the alcohol she'd ingested kicking in and loosening her inhibitions a bit.  She blushed and looked down at the floor.  "You probably hear that all the time, don't you?" She asked, moving closer to him.

"Yeah," He grinned.  "But not often enough from someone as beautiful as you.  Are you the mystery blonde Jace has been dating?" Justin asked as they danced.

"I plead the fifth." She answered, causing him to chuckle. 

"I'll take that as a yes." He said.  "All I've got to say is: it's about damn time.  I was beginning to wonder myself about the gay rumors going around."

Rachel laughed as she turned her back to Justin, moving her hips and raising her arms above her head as she danced.  He put his hands on her hips as they dance and her heart began racing. However, her breath caught when he put his arm around her waist, his hand splayed across her stomach.  She opened her eyes and suddenly found it hard to breathe as he pulled her back against him and moved along with her.  She'd always thought Justin was a great dancer, but damn!  The way he was moving made her knees weak and her entire body tingle.  She gasped when she felt his lips on her shoulder.  Turning in his arms, Rachel's eyes widened to find it wasn't Justin, but JC who was her dance partner.

Rachel kept her eyes focused on his as the song changed to one with a slower tempo.  The arm that was around her waist tightened and she watched, fascinated, as his normally happy, sparkling eyes began sparking with a different emotion; an emotion that caused her stomach to flip.  His free hand found hers and he brought her arm up, resting it on his shoulder.  His fingers softly trailed back down the length of her arm and Rachel closed her eyes reflexively as the action raised goose bumps.  She sighed as both of his hands came to rest on the bare skin of her back and she wound her other arm around his neck.  Opening her eyes she remained focused on JC as their bodies moved together. 

As the song ended Rachel smiled at the disappointment she read in his eyes.  She took his hand and laced her fingers with his.  "Buy me another drink?" She asked.

 ~~~~~ 

JC smiled as he followed Rachel back towards their table.  "I'll be right back." She said, kissing his cheek and releasing his hand.  He watched as she made her way towards the back of the club. 

"She's hot."

He turned to find Justin sitting at the table he'd reserved.  "She's taken." He said sitting next to the guy he'd literally grown up with. 

"Calm down, C." Justin chuckled, holding his hands up in defense.  "I was just stating a fact.  I haven't seen you get this worked up over a girl in...well, never.  What's going on between you two?" Justin narrowed his eyes in scrutiny.

"Nothing a kid like you would understand." JC answered, reaching for his half empty beer bottle.

"Kid?" Justin repeated, sounding insulted.  "Kid?  How old is Rachel, Jace?" He asked then laughed as JC refused to answer.  "Thought so."

"Have you talked to Joey recently?" JC asked, changing the subject.

"No, why?" Justin answered, finishing off the drink in his hand and gesturing towards a passing waitress.  Ordering another round for the table Justin turned back to JC.

"Chris is having a big Halloween party next weekend like he always does.  Joey's going and he said Lance was going to be in town.  I told him I'd go...that just leaves you.  What are you doing next weekend?  You should come.  It'll send the media into a feeding frenzy."

Justin laughed.  "Sounds like fun." He said.  "I'll think about it.  But won't Johnny have a fit?  Doesn't it say somewhere that the next time we're all in the same place at the same time we're obligated to start recording another album?"

JC laughed.  "If he finds out he's probably going to try and lock us in a studio somewhere which is why we're keeping this on the down low.  Unless you've changed your mind..." JC left the question hanging but Justin remained quiet.  JC frowned and looked down at the bottle in his hand.  "I'm flying out Thursday night." He continued. 

"What about Rachel?" Justin asked.

"I haven't asked her yet."  JC said, finishing his beer.  "You and Jessie can stay at my place."

"Jess is in Greece right now shooting a movie." Justin said, thanking the waitress as she reappeared with their drinks and taking a long swallow of the beer he'd gotten. 

"Greece?" JC asked.  "And you're here in L.A.?"  Justin nodded.  "Why?" JC asked.  Justin shrugged.  JC watched his friend closely.  "Are you two..."

"We're fine." Justin interjected a bit too quickly. 

JC narrowed his eyes and was about to question Justin further when Rachel suddenly appeared.  JC quickly stood as she sat then, scooting his chair closer to her, he sat back down.  She smiled brightly at him and he watched as she raised the martini glass containing her second Cosmo to her lips.  He put his arm on the back of her chair and leaned towards her, inhaling her intoxicating fragrance.  She looked over at him, her lips lifting in a seductive little grin that had his instant attention.  Leaning forward he pressed his lips to hers, the taste of the drink on her tongue making the kiss even sweeter.  She reached over and put a hand on his thigh under the table as she responded to him and JC suddenly found himself wishing for an empty back room somewhere.  He'd love to...

"Ahem." Justin cleared his throat and Rachel jumped back, her cheeks warming at her sudden remembrance of their table mate.  "So..." Justin asked.  "How did you two meet?"

JC grinned as Rachel took another drink, trying to cover her embarrassment.  "Rachel's helping me remodel my house."

Justin looked at her curiously.  "I'm an interior designer." She supplied, the fingers of her hand moved down his leg and began to massage his knee.  JC bit back a groan and removed the arm that was around the back of her chair.  Putting his own hand on her knee he mimicked her motions, watching as her eyes went wide for a second.  She looked at him and he raised a brow.  Turn about is fair play, sweetheart. He thought.  He gave the inside of her knee a playful pinch and she let out a cute little squeak that she tried to cover up by clearing her throat.  JC chuckled as she removed her hand from his leg and grabbed his fingers under the table-giving them a squeeze as her eyes flashed a warning to him.

"I'm surprised you're able to put up with him." Justin said to Rachel, taking another drink.

"What's that supposed to mean?" JC asked, removing his hand from hers.  Reaching up, he brushed her hair back from her shoulders, then once more trailed his hand down to rest along the back of her chair.

"You know." Justin said.  "You're bossy, and opinionated.  You're a frickin' perfectionist and you're favorite activity is sleeping." He chuckled.

~~~~~

"That's not my favorite activity." JC said his eyes focused on Rachel as he raised a suggestive brow at her.  Justin snickered and Rachel felt her cheeks warm.  Was he drunk, or trying to stake his claim?  Rachel wondered.  She'd been able to sense JC's subtle hostility towards Justin since they'd come back from dancing. What exactly are you hoping to get out of this evening Mr. Chasez? She wanted to ask as she looked into his eyes.  Instead she took another sip of her drink and tried to ignore the way he was making her feel.  Ever since turning and finding it was him she was dancing with she'd been in a constant state of awareness.  She couldn't concentrate on anything but him.  The butterflies in her stomach seemed to have multiplied a hundred fold and she was surprised she could raise her glass with a steady hand. 

Once again JC removed his arm from around her chair and took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers as he leaned on the table and continued talking and laughing with Justin.  Rachel looked around the club and caught several envious looks from some of the women around them.  She couldn't blame them.  Two months ago she would have been in their shoes-enviously looking on at the girl (or girls) who happened to be lucky enough to be sitting by these two guys.  She looked back at JC, smiling when he turned and winked at her.  Rachel sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder-the alcohol she'd consumed slowly taking affect.  This was definitely the best birthday she'd ever had.      

~~~~~

"Can I ask you a question?" Rachel asked stumbling slightly, as JC walked with her up the stairs and into her apartment.

"Only if I can kiss you." He answered, waiting as she opened the door.

They had left the club twenty minutes ago.  It was almost two in the morning but Rachel was in no hurry to see the evening end.  She smiled as they stepped inside.  Looking at him she tilted her head up slightly, meeting his lips as she closed the door.  When he began to get into the exchange a little too much she pulled back.  JC groaned and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Stop it." She said.  "You're just trying to distract me."

"Is it working?"

"Yes." She replied sitting down on the couch.  "But I really want to ask you this.  I've been thinking about it for a while."

"Uh-oh.  Should I be worried?" He chuckled as he came and sat down beside her.

"No." Rachel giggled.  "It's nothing damaging."

"Oh good." He replied, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss to her lips.

"Knock it off." She scolded playfully, putting a hand on his chest as she leaned back.

"What do you want to know?" He asked.

"I've got a question about your name."

"My name?" JC asked.  "What about my name?  Do you not like it?"

"No, I love it." Rachel smiled.  "But, do you realize that your name-JC Chasez" she made quotation marks in the air as she said his name, "Is technically: Joshua Chasez Chasez?" She giggled.  He pulled back and looked at her like she was absolutely crazy.

"That's what you wanted to know?" He asked bewildered.

She nodded.  "I think it's funny."  She explained, her giggling turning into laughter.  "I've always thought it was funny."

"You're crazy." He shook his head.  "Or drunk.  Are you drunk?"

"If I am, it's your fault."  Rachel smiled then turned serious again.  "Isn't it weird?" She asked.  "You're not really Joshua anymore.  Everyone in the entire world knows you by a nickname you were given so long ago."

He shrugged as he put his head back on the couch.  "I've been JC since I was thirteen." He said, turning to look at her.  "I don't even think about it anymore unless someone brings it up."

"What does your family call you?" Rachel asked, cocking her head to the side as she watched him.  She shifted and, putting her back against the arm of the couch, stretched her legs out across his lap. 

"Josh." He said, resting one arm across her legs.  "Or Jace." He shrugged with a smile.  "No one's called me Joshua in a long time."

"Isn't that weird?" Rachel asked again.  "No one using your real name anymore?"

"No." He replied leaning towards her.  "It just makes it mean more when someone does use it."

Rachel couldn't help smiling as she scooted lower on the couch.  JC raised one brow as he watched her, then with a smirk followed her down, one arm wrapping around her waist while he wound the fingers of his other hand through her hair.  Rachel pressed her hands to his back as his lips touched hers.  When he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth Rachel ran one hand up to run through his hair.  He released her mouth after a few moments, allowing her to breathe and kissed his way along her jaw 

"I like it when you say my name." He said, his lips brushing her ear. 

"Joshua?" Rachel asked, not sure which of his many names and nicknames he was referring to.  She closed her eyes, sighing as his lips moved down her neck. 

"Mmmm." He murmured, repositioning himself so he was stretched out beside her, his legs tangled with hers, his lips never leaving her skin.  "Say it again." He said, his lips moving against her skin.

"Joshua..." Rachel breathed out, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her heart pounded in her chest.  JC pulled his lips away from her and Rachel opened her eyes to find him looking down at her, a curious expression on his face. 

She found herself becoming lost in his eyes, wondering-yet again-how she'd gotten so lucky as to find herself here, with this man whom she was quickly and irrevocably falling in love with.  And there was so much about him to love.  He was such a genuinely good person.  He was sweet and romantic.  He was funny and smart and so incredibly talented it was ridiculous.  He was gentle and loving yet he also knew how to play dirty.  He didn't take her sass and, more often than not, dished out his own attitude.   

As he lowered his head and once more captured her lips with his, Rachel groaned.  She quickly became lost once more in the passion he was so easily able to convey through the movement of his mouth over hers.  She removed one of her hands from his hair, her fingers gliding over his jaw.  The arm that JC had around her slowly moved-his hand coming down to slip beneath the hem of her shirt-and Rachel gasped at the contact of his hand on her stomach--automatically tensing up.  No.  She thought, suddenly feeling panicked.  No, I can't do this.

~~~~~

JC was so focused and intent on kissing Rachel-his response to hearing her say his real name taking him by surprise-that the sudden change in her body language didn't register right away.  As his fingers worked their way up and over her ribcage Rachel placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed at him.

"Stop!" She cried out.

He immediately pulled back, holding his hands up in surrender, confused at the panic he heard in her voice.  "What's the matter?" He asked, noting the fear in her beautiful eyes.

"Nothing."  She said, but the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the dilation of her pupils gave her away.  "I...I'm just...really tired." She said, placing a hand to her head.  "I think the alcohol is catching up to me." She tried to smile, but it was a weak attempt.  JC narrowed his eyes slightly as he sat looking down at her.  She was lying.  Something he'd done had scared her.  But why?

"I'm sorry." He said softly, feeling the need to apologize, though he didn't know why. He cupped her cheek and continued looking in her eyes as if he could find the answer he was searching for.   "Did I--" 

"No." Rachel shook her head. "No it's not your fault.  I..." She took a deep breath.  He moved back further as she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the couch.  "This has been the best birthday I've ever had, but...maybe it's time to call it a night?" She asked standing and looking down at him, smiling hesitantly.  He could still see the fear in her eyes and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms.  You don't have to be afraid of me.  He thought.  Please don't be afraid of me.

"Okay." He replied, standing next to her.  He took her face in both of his hands and pressed his lips to hers softly-hoping to reassure and calm her fears.  When she didn't respond to his kiss-at all-he pulled back and looked at her, curious about the abrupt change in her demeanor.  The warm, happy, sparkling eyed girl he'd just spent the evening with was gone.  Once again her eyes were dull and her beautiful smile noticeably absent.  This was becoming somewhat of a habit-every couple weeks it seemed she shut down for some reason-and it was moments like this that made him question whether he really knew her. 

He stood, watching her for a moment, the desire to know the meaning behind the sadness he saw in her eyes coursing through him, before he finally lowered his hands.  "I'll call you later?" He asked.  She smiled up at him gratefully and nodded.  "Good night, Rachel." He said, placing one more soft kiss on her lips, then letting himself out of the apartment. 

Once the door was closed JC stood on her doorstep for a moment, still confused as to what had just happened   He hadn't wanted to leave her, but knew she needed some space right now for some reason.  As he slowly made his way toward his car he went through a mental recap of the last couple hours with Rachel.  She'd seemed fine up until a couple minutes ago.  What had changed?  JC slid behind the wheel of his car and turned the ignition.  Glancing up at Rachel's apartment he saw the light in the living room turn off a few seconds before the light in her bedroom turned on and frowned slightly. 

Girls were a mystery to him; always had been, and apparently always would be.  Just when he thought he was getting the hang of a relationship, something happened that threw him for a loop and made him feel like he was back at square one.  Rachel was hiding something from him but he couldn't figure out what it was.  She'd been giving him clue after clue tonight that she had wanted what they had started a few minutes ago on her couch but maybe he'd been reading her wrong.  It wouldn't be the first time. He chuckled bitterly and rolled his eyes.  Maybe he was pushing her too fast.  Finally putting the car in reverse and leaving her complex JC decided once they'd both had time to step back and think he would try and get Rachel to open up him.  Whatever it was she was afraid of couldn't be that bad.

~~~~~

Rachel covered her face with her hands as JC left her apartment.  She felt like an idiot.  Why did I push him away?  Why?  Why?  She sighed.  She didn't want to push him away, but it had been like an out of body experience.  Megan had been right.  He didn't understand why she'd freaked out and had automatically assumed he'd done something wrong.  Rachel had wanted to reassure him-to wrap her arms around him and tell him it had nothing to do with him-but what had she done?  She'd frozen up.  She couldn't tell him.  Her fear had been too strong.  What if he decided he didn't want to have anything to do with her once she told him?  She didn't want to see the pity she knew would be in his eyes when he found out.  Was it so wrong to just want to forget what had happened four years ago?  She'd give anything to go back to that night and prevent herself from going to that party with Brian.

But she couldn't.

Rachel sighed as she stood and moved to lock her front door.  Her fingers reached to turn off the lights when her eyes caught the present JC had given her earlier.  She smiled as she opened the box and pulled out the pink Ipod.  Making her way to her bedroom Rachel took off her shoes and flopped back on her bed.  Turning on the small musical devise she was surprised to see there had already been a play list uploaded.  Rachel smiled.  He'd made her today's version of a mix tape for her birthday.  She knew there was probably some way to find out what songs he'd put on the list, but she didn't feel like messing around with all the buttons right now.  Instead, she put in the small ear buds that had come with the Ipod, pushed the play button and closed her eyes not wanting to ruin the surprise.

~~~~~~

"How'd it go with Rachel last night?"  JC looked up from the soundboard in his studio and looked over at Justin.  The two of them had been playing around with a few songs they'd written together last year, but JC's head and heart weren't in the music today.  He was still distracted about what had happened last night with Rachel.

"It didn't." He confessed.  Justin raised a curious brow.

"Was it you?" Justin asked with a smirk.  "Or her?"

"She freaked out for some reason while I was kissing her." JC answered.  "I don't know what happened.  One minute we're...you know, and the next she's pushing me back insisting I stop."

"Oh, man." Justin shook his head.

"Normally I would just accuse her of being a tease, but..." JC shook his head as he remembered the real fear he'd seen in Rachel's eyes.  He looked over at Justin who sat looking at him curiously.  "She was really scared last night for some reason."

"What did you do to her?" Justin chuckled.

"Nothing!" JC insisted. "Maybe that's the problem." Justin answered with a suggestive smirk.  JC rolled his eyes in disgust and turned back to the soundboard.  "Maybe she's a virgin." Justin said.

"At twenty-seven?!" JC turned back to Justin in disbelief. 

Justin shrugged.  "It's possible.  And it would explain why she would have been scared last night."

"Damn it." JC swore under his breath.  Justin had a point.  It was one explanation but if it were true it put a whole new spin on things.  If Rachel has never... He stopped.  It had been a long time-a long time-since he'd been someone's first and he wasn't sure...

"Maybe she's not." Justin interrupted his thoughts.  "But it sounds like you two need to talk because from what I saw last night you two are good for each other.  So she's got a hang up when it comes to sex?  If it's taken you two this long to finally get around to doing it, it's obvious this relationship is different and special."  He grinned.  "Don't mess this one up, C.  You're gonna regret it." 

"Yep." Rachel said as she scrolled back through the play list JC had uploaded on the Ipod he'd given her last night.  "I laughed when I heard the first few notes and recognized what song it was."

"Hmmm." Megan hummed.

"What?" Rachel questioned.

"Nothing.  I just think it's interesting that that was the first song, that's all."

"I know." Rachel said.  "I was wondering about it as well.  Did he put it on because he knows I'm such a big fan, or did he put it on because--"

"Because you're his girlfriend and that song solidifies it?" Megan interrupted her.  Rachel giggled.  "Okay, what was the next song?" Megan asked.

"I Want to Hold Your Hand."

Megan laughed.  "He's not very subtle is he?" 

"Nope." Rachel smiled.  "Um...the next one is I Can Wait Forever."

"Do I know that song?" Megan asked.

"I don't know." Rachel answered.  "Do you?"

"Brat." Megan chuckled.  "Who's it by?"

"Simple Plan." Rachel said.  "It's a good song.  Listen to it online."

"Okay.  What's the next song?"

"It Never Entered My Mind." Rachel said.

"Huh?"

"It's the Miles Davis song from Runaway Bride."

"Ah!  Because you guys talked about Miles Davis that one time." Megan said.  "Got it.  Next?"

"The next one is one I'd never heard before.  It's kind of weird...but it grows on you.  The first time I heard it I was like, what the hell?  But now I really like it."

"What is it?"

"The Way I Feel Inside by The Zombies."

"Hmmm..." Megan hummed.  "Never heard of it.  What are the other songs?"

"Crazy for This Girl," Rachel said and Megan chuckled.

"I'd say that was pretty obvious."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"If giving a girl an Ipod with a list of specific songs already loaded on it doesn't give away the fact that he's head over heels for you then nothing will."

"You really think he's crazy about me?" Rachel asked, grinning.

"Duh!" Megan replied.  "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out."  She chuckled.  "What other songs did he put on?"

"Hold Me Now by The Thompson Twins then Rock with You--"

"Is that the Michael Jackson song?" Megan asked. 

"Yeah." Rachel said, then chuckled as she came to the next song.  "Okay, this one kind of took me by surprise.  He put on Ticks by Brad Paisley.  Who knew he was a country fan?"

"And that's a scandalous country song as well." Megan interjected.  Rachel laughed. 

"Yeah well, he's pretty scandalous so it shouldn't come as a shock I guess."

"Is that the last one?" Megan asked.

"No." Rachel said, still laughing.  "No, the last song he put on was Ice, Ice Baby."

"What?!" Megan laughed out loud.  "Oh man!  I haven't heard that song in forever!  Does he..." she was still laughing, "Does he know about that song or was it just coincidence?"

"He knows." Rachel laughed.  "It was playing on the radio last weekend when we went to dinner and I started singing along.  Needless to say he was very impressed that I knew all the words and I told him how we'd learned it for that talent show."

Megan laughed.  "Okay, speaking of that talent show, you're going to die when you hear this!"

"Oh dear." Rachel sighed.

"No, no." Megan continued giggling.  "It's good.  I was going through some of my boxes trying to clear out the guest room for the baby and I found my yearbooks and there is a half page spread that year of us doing our routine!"

"I forgot there were pictures taken." Rachel laughed.  "Why did your boyfriend have to be on the yearbook committee that year?  Did we look as ridiculous as I remember?"

"Worse!" Megan erupted in a fit of giggles again. 

"Oh dear." Rachel giggled as well.

"I should send JC a copy.  If he as impressed with your singing, he'll definitely be impressed with your outfit."

"Don't you dare!" Rachel exclaimed.  "If I find out you've sent him a copy I'll--"

"Oh calm down." Megan laughed.  "I want those pictures burned as much as you do."

"Did you show Jackson?"

"No!  Are you crazy?" Megan asked.  "He came in wanting to know what I was laughing about but I wouldn't let him see it.  He doesn't need anymore proof as to how absolutely ridiculous I was."

"Was?" Rachel teased. 

"Anyway..." Megan drawled, making Rachel giggle as she changed the subject.  "So, he gave you the Ipod, then took you dancing...what else happened last night?"

"I danced with Justin Timberlake." Rachel replied.

"Ha!" Megan said.  "No really, what else happened last night."

"Really." Rachel insisted.  "I danced with Justin.  Why don't you believe me?" She laughed.

"Because I know you." Megan said.  "If you had really danced with Justin Timberlake you'd be freaking out."

"But I did dance with him, Megs." Rachel said. 

"Yeah, and I partied with Prince last night." Megan replied sarcastically.

"Really!" Rachel laughed.  "What would convince you?"

"Um...a picture?"

"Hmmm." Rachel sighed.  Why hadn't she brought her camera last night?  "Well, anyway.  We danced and just had fun.  Then he brought me home and..." Rachel stopped as the memory of last night came back to her.  She still felt horrible for pushing JC away without explaining what was going through her head. 

"And?" Megan asked.

"And...you were right." Rachel said.

"I was?" Megan replied in surprise.  "I mean, I usually am, but what was I right about this time?"

Rachel knew Megan was trying to make her laugh but she just couldn't do it.  "About JC not understanding." She finally said.

Megan was quiet for a moment.  "What happened?"

"We were making out and I freaked when he tried to take it a step further.  And just like you predicted he thought it was his fault."

"Did you guys talk?"

"No." Rachel answered.  "He...I...I couldn't." Rachel sighed.  "I wanted to.  The confusion in eyes...he left and I...I don't know what to do."  Rachel looked down at the Ipod in her hands.  He'd put a lot of time and thought into her gift-proving he liked her at least a little.  She smiled sadly. 

"Call him." Megan said.

"No." Rachel replied.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what to say." Rachel said, throwing her hands up in exasperation.  "How do I tell him?  What do I say?  Megan, you're the only one who really knows what happened that night.  How in the world am I supposed to tell JC Chasez what happened?"  Megan remained quiet.  "See." Rachel said.  "Even you don't have an answer for this one."

"So it's just going to be awkward between you two from now on?" Megan asked. 

"No!" Rachel answered in exasperation.  "Maybe." She mumbled under her breath.

"Rach..." Megan sighed.  "The longer you go without telling, or giving him some kind of explanation about last night, the more awkward it's going to get.  He's a guy."

"Duh." Rachel replied with a roll of his eyes.

"What I mean," Megan said with a chuckle, "Is that because he's a guy he's probably waiting for you to give some sign that everything's okay.  Like I told you-and like you said-he thinks what happened last night was his fault.  He thinks he's done something wrong and he's waiting for you to give him the green light again."  Both girls were quiet for a moment then Megan continued.  "Listen," she sighed.  "The fact that you two have known each other now for two months and this is the first time he's tried to do anything besides kiss you proves he cares about you."

"I know." Rachel answered quietly.  "But--"

"Are you..." Megan paused.

"What?" Rachel questioned. 

"You're not still holding it against him that he didn't tell you he remembered you, are you?" Megan asked.

Rachel was quiet as she thought about that.  Was she still holding that against him?  She hadn't thought so, but maybe subconsciously she was.  Maybe that was why she was having such a hard time with being able to trust him.  Whatever his reasoning, he had lied to her at the very beginning of their relationship and that knowledge still hurt.

"Rachel?" Megan questioned.

"I'm here." Rachel answered.  "I...I didn't think I was still holding it against him, but maybe I am." She finished quietly. 

Megan sighed.  "You need to get over it."

"He lied to me!  At the very beginning of our relationship!" Rachel exclaimed.

"That's life." Megan responded.  "Look, people are going to hurt you and say things that they shouldn't.  It doesn't matter if it's your best friend, or your mother or your boyfriend.  You have to forgive them and move on or end the relationship.  There is no in-between."

"But--"

"No buts." Megan insisted.  "You have do decide if you can forgive him and then you need to tell him what's going on before he starts jumping to the wrong conclusions and you lose him. He's going to think you're not in to him anymore."

Rachel sighed.  Either way it seemed she was stuck-continue to hold a grudge against him and risk ruining the relationship, or tell him what had happened in her past and risk losing him because he couldn't stand being with her anymore.

"Stop it." Megan said quietly, bringing Rachel out of her thoughts.

"Stop what?" Rachel questioned, irritated that Megan knew her so well.

"I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.  He's crazy about you.  He's not going to run away when you tell him.  Take a chance." Megan said.  "I think it's time for you to open your heart up again."

~~~~~~

Rachel sat at her desk Monday morning looking over the file she'd just been given.  Mark apparently thought that with Lucy's wedding finished and JC's house under control and moving along smoothly she needed another project to work on.  She looked at the information in front of her.  It looked like a pretty standard redecorating job and she was actually kind of excited to start another project.  She began jotting down ideas as she looked at the pictures the homeowners had sent over. 

Rachel was so focused on what she was doing that the vibrating of her cell phone next to her made her jump and gasp in surprise.  Putting a hand over her racing heart she picked up the phone, her heart beginning to race in quite a different way as she read the name of the person calling.  Swallowing she flipped the phone open and brought up to her ear.

"Hey." She said, hoping her voice sounded steadier than it felt.

"Happy birthday." He said, his smooth familiar voice coming over the line and making her stomach flip.  It was interesting how quickly his voice had become so familiar to her.

"Thanks." Rachel replied with a smile.

"How are you?" He asked, sounding a bit hesitant.

Rachel leaned back in her chair, her gaze automatically going to his picture she still had tacked above her computer.  "I'm fine." She said, hating this awkwardness between them.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she sat, listening to his quiet breathing on the other end of the line.  She didn't know what to do, or what to say to help bridge the gap that was between them now and it was apparent by his silence that he didn't have the answer either.

"I listened to the songs you put on my Ipod." She said, a smile coming to her lips as she thought again about the thought and effort he'd put in to her gift.

"Yeah?" He asked.  She could hear his smile and wished she could see it.

"Yeah." She answered.  "I hadn't ever heard some of them, but I liked them all.  I think I listened to that Miles Davis song twenty times."

He chuckled.  "I told you he was good.  What other ones did you like?"

She smiled.  "I really liked the song by The Zombies.  It was...different, but I really like it." She paused.  "I really liked the first song, too." She said and he laughed.

"I thought you might.  I put that one on on purpose."

"Oh, so there was no reason for any of the other songs?" Rachel teased.

"No." He laughed again.  "Are you kidding me?  I spent a lot of time trying to decide what songs to put on that damn thing.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be making a play list for you."

Rachel smiled, her heart flipping at his confession as to how much time he'd spent thinking about her in relation to her present.

"What else did you get for your birthday?" He asked.

"Well, Megan and I went and got pedicures when she was in town a few weeks ago to celebrate and my dad sent me flowers this morning." She smiled as she looked over at the beautiful bouquet of pink and white orchids her father had sent.  "But other than that, yours is the only gift I got." 

"Then I'm glad I got it for you." They were both quiet for a moment.  "I'm going to Orlando this weekend." He said.

"Really?" Rachel replied, a bit curious as to why he was calling to tell her that.

"Do you..." He paused.  "Do you want to come with me?"

"To Orlando?" Rachel asked, a bit taken back.

"Yeah."

"Um...I don't know.  I...why are you going?"

"Chris always does this big Halloween party and the rest of the guys are all going to be there.  It'll be fun."

Rachel's jaw dropped.  Not only did JC want her to go to Orlando with him, but he was inviting her to a party where she'd be meeting the rest of the guys of N SYNC?  She didn't know what to do, or what to say.  She knew what she should say, but the words just wouldn't come.  Who else was going to be there?  This wasn't just some random Halloween party.  This was a party at Chris Kirkpatrick's house!  Her mind also flashed back eighteen months to when Jackson had asked Megan to go somewhere with him for the weekend and Megan had gone with him.  They'd ended up sleeping together after that trip and Rachel had a feeling that if she went with JC to Orlando the same thing would happen with them.  She could say she wanted a hotel room but she knew he would insist that she stay at his house...with him.  Memories of what had happened Friday night once more played in her head.  They needed to sit down and have a serious discussion before anything like that could happen again.

"I...I don't know, JC.  I don't have a costume to wear and I..." She looked around her desk.

"Please?" He asked.  "I want you to come.  You met Justin on Friday, but I...I want you to meet the other guys."

Why are you making this even more difficult? She wanted to scream.  This wasn't fair.  It was like dangling a piece of cheesecake in front of her and telling her she couldn't eat it.  She wanted it, but was she ready for it?  "I just got a new client and I really don't think I can afford to take off this weekend." Rachel heard herself telling him.  "I took off last weekend and I really can't afford to take anymore time off right now." She laid her head down on her desk and closed her eyes. 

"Oh." He said the disappointment in his voice obvious and Rachel winced.  "Okay.  Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Rachel said. 

"Rachel," he sighed.  "I..."

"JC." She stopped him. 

"Yeah?" He asked.  She could hear a hint of hope in his voice.  

"Have fun." She smiled, hoping to convince him of her certainty.  "I want to hear all about it. When do you get back?"  He was quiet and Rachel began to wonder if she'd lost him.  "Jace?" She asked.  "You still there?"

"Yeah." He said, sounding distant.  Rachel furrowed her brow and drew her bottom lip between her teeth.  "I don't know when I'll be back.  I haven't decided yet.  Maybe Monday?"

"Oh," Rachel replied.  "Okay.  Have fun." She offered again.

"Thanks.  I'll give you call when I get back into town." He said.

"Okay."

~~~~~  

JC ended the call and sat looking at his phone.  What the hell? He thought.  He growled as he tossed his phone to the other end of the couch and jammed his hands into his hair.  He was too old for these kinds of games.  He was completely confused and didn't know what to do.  Rachel was driving him crazy.  One minute she was the adoring fan, then she was the devoted girlfriend and now she was so cold and distant towards him he didn't know what to do.  He hadn't expected her to turn down his offer to go to Orlando and her refusal irked him. Why had she turned him down?  He'd thought she would jump at the chance to go with him.  Asking a girl to go away somewhere for the weekend was a big step to take in a relationship.  After Friday night, and talking with Justin on Saturday, JC had decided to go ahead and ask Rachel to go with him this weekend-to prove that...he stopped.  He didn't know what he wanted to prove, but obviously whatever it was didn't matter.

"She doesn't want to go!" He growled out loud.  He stood up and began pacing.  Fine.  He thought.  Whatever.  She doesn't want to go to Orlando?  That's fine.  Maybe this is good.  He sighed.  Maybe it would be good to have a couple days apart.  What was that saying?  Absence made the heart grow fonder?  Maybe it's time to test that theory. He thought, grabbing his phone and stalking towards the garage.  I need to get out of here. He thought, grabbing the keys to his car.  Putting the top down on the Mercedes as he backed out of the garage, JC flipped the radio on and drove aimlessly through town. 

An hour later he pulled off to the side of the road and got out.  Slowly he made his way down the beach towards the water.  Gazing out at the ocean he found himself praying for the answers he was obviously missing.  Something was going on in Rachel's life that she didn't feel comfortable sharing with him-and that was what had him so frustrated.  Why didn't she trust him?  What had he done to earn her suspicion?

Have you earned her trust? His conscious asked.  That thought caught him off guard.  He'd done everything he could think of to prove his intentions were genuine.  Who had been the one to show up when she was sick last week and take care of her?  When she'd freaked out last weekend about going to The Ivy who'd been the one to take her somewhere different?  And hadn't he just invited her to come with him and meet the four guys who were more like his brothers than his best friends?

JC bent and picked up a couple of broken shell pieces.  Straightening he began to toss them out into the water.  It irritated him that he obviously didn't know Rachel as well as he thought he did.  Sure she was smart and beautiful and made his mouth water and his knees a little weak when he thought of her kisses.  She was talented and artistic and smelled better than he'd ever known a girl to smell before.  But what made her tick?  What made her who she was?  He didn't know anything about her family or childhood, beyond the fact that she was an only child and had been friends with Megan her whole life. What was she afraid of?  What were her dreams, her goals and aspirations in life? 

He bent once more to pick up a few more shells as he walked along the waterline. As he did so, his eye caught something and he reached over, withdrawing a small sand dollar that had been bleached by the sun.  He rubbed his thumb across the top, loosening the sand that clung to the shell and revealing the universal design that all sand dollars had.  Tucking the shell gently in the pocket of his shorts JC stood and once more gazed out at the water, making a decision.  No more playing around.  It was time to get serious about a few things.  When he got back from Orlando he was going to set Rachel down and they were going to have a long talk. It was time to do what he'd told her he wanted to do a couple weeks ago-to see if what they had was real.

~~~~~~

"Knock, knock."

Rachel looked up from her computer as Aubrey stepped into her cubicle Tuesday morning holding a small box with a pink envelope attached.  "What's this?" She asked, taking the box from her.

Aubrey shrugged.  "It was just delivered for you.  Maybe it's a late birthday present?"

"Thanks." Rachel smiled.

"Sure thing." Aubrey turned to leave and Rachel looked down at the gift in her hands.  Her name was scrawled across the front of the envelope and, placing the box on her desk, she placed her finger beneath the flap of the envelope-breaking the seal and withdrawing the card inside.  The front of the card was a beautiful painting of the ocean at sunset-the water taking on the fiery reds and oranges of the sky.  Rachel opened the card and read the handwritten note inside, her heart melting.

I found this yesterday and wanted you to have it, so you'll know I'm thinking about you while I'm gone. 

JC

Rachel ran her finger over his signature before putting the card down and opening the box he'd sent.  She gasped when she saw the small, perfectly shaped sand dollar.  She picked it up and ran her thumb over the top of it.  How did he know?  She'd always loved sand dollars-she thought they were beautiful and unique and looked for them whenever she went to the beach. 

When she'd been struggling with her depression after her ordeal with Brian, Megan and kidnapped her for the weekend and taken her to San Diego for a few days.  Megan had thought she was just getting Rachel out of town for a change of pace for a few days-what she didn't know at the time, though Rachel had told her later, was that Megan had literally saved her life that weekend.   If Megan hadn't of shown up when she did Rachel wouldn't be alive today.  She'd hit absolute rock bottom and felt like she was in a suffocating hole of darkness with no way out but to end her life.  As the girls had been walking along the beach one evening, Rachel had found a small perfectly round sand dollar-much like the one JC had just given her-and had broken down and told Megan everything that had happened.

It was such a simple thing, but a sand dollar reminded her that God was looking out for her.  The fact that He'd sent Megan just in time was evidence of that.  Rachel had been so absorbed in the darkness surrounding her that she'd forgotten about the good things that she did have in life.  She'd felt more lost, scared and alone then she ever had in her life that suicide seemed the only answer to gain any sort of control.  Since that day, however, she'd thought of sand dollars as her "wink from God"-Heaven's way of telling her things were going to be okay.  It may not be easy and the road may be rough for a while, but in the end everything was going to be okay.  When she and Megan had gotten home Rachel had started going to counseling and had gotten the tattoo on her shoulder as a constant reminder to her that she was lucky-in so many ways.

As she sat looking at the shell in her hands, Rachel picked up and reread his card a few more times, then made a decision.  JC Chasez was the most incredible man she'd ever known and come next week when he was back in town she was going to tell him everything.

JC had to brace himself as he walked into Chris' house and the man suddenly appeared out of nowhere and pounced on him wearing a black cape and a set of plastic fangs.  He laughed as the other guy hugged him, then stepped back.  "How the hell are you?" Chris asked.

"I'm good, man.  How've you been?"

"Hmmm." Chris shrugged his shoulder.  "Can't complain."  Chris took a drink from the glass in his hand, then turned and put an arm around JC's shoulders, leading him towards the back of the house.  "Why didn't you dress up?" He asked, looking at JC disapprovingly.  JC shrugged.  "No matter." Chris continued.  "You should see the girls that came!" He whispered as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

"I thought you were dating someone." JC chuckled.  "What's her name?  Ali?  Does she know you've got a house full of girls here tonight?"

"She's one of them." Chris grinned.  "Come on.  There's more than one I'm sure you'll be in to.  There were a few that seemed really excited when they found out that you might show up."

JC rolled his eyes and Chris released him as they walked into the kitchen which had been turned into a bar for the night.

"He's not really looking to get hooked up this weekend." Justin said, walking towards him with a beer bottle in one hand.  "Are you, C?"

"What?" Chris said, looking anxiously back and forth between JC and Justin as he handed JC a beer.  JC glared at Justin as the younger man walked toward them, a smirk on his face.  "C, you got a girl you're hiding somewhere?" Chris asked with interest.

"Where's Rachel?" Justin asked, looking over JC's shoulder. 

2,500 miles away.  JC thought.

"Rachel?" Chris asked.  "Who's Rachel?"

JC looked at Chris, then back at Justin.  "She couldn't get the time off this weekend." He explained, shrugging-he hoped nonchalantly-as he pressed the bottle Chris had given him to his lips.  These guys, though they were like brothers to him and he couldn't imagine life without them, could be brutal when it came to teasing about each other's love lives.  He knew.  He'd been on the giving and receiving end more than a few times in the years they'd all known each other.

"Who's Rachel?" Joey repeated Chris' previous question as he suddenly materialized wearing a Superman outfit.  JC started laughing as he gave Joey a hug.  "When I saw you last month you weren't seeing anyone." Joey said.  "You move fast."

"Yeah, it...kinda just happened." JC said, taking another swig of his beer.  "What?" He asked as the three of them stood looking at him, painfully aware of the fact that his face was on fire. 

"He's so whipped it's not even funny." Justin said, turning and talking to Joey as if JC weren't standing right in front of them.  "I met her last weekend in L.A.  Jace couldn't keep his eyes or hands off of her." He grinned mischievously.  "She's hot and you should have seen his face when I started dancing with her." Justin started giggling.  "He--"

"Shut up!" JC reached out and slapped Justin upside the head.

"Hey!" Justin exclaimed, quickly setting his beer down on the counter and grabbing JC in a headlock.  JC somehow managed to place his own beer on the counter and soon he and Justin were wrestling around in the kitchen with Chris and Joey egging them on.

"Some things never change." Lance commented with a laugh as he walked into the scene. 

"Hey, Lance." JC said as he managed to step behind Justin and pin his right arm up behind his back while his other arm was wrapped around Justin's neck.

"Hey!" Justin called out.  "Uncle!  Uncle!  Don't hurt me because I'm beautiful!"  They all laughed as JC released him and Justin rotated his shoulder as he scowled at them.

"Oh, you've made the Baby mad." Chris said, putting his arm around Justin.  "Come here, Baby."

"Get the hell off me!" Justin said shrugging Chris' arm off and pointing a finger at him.  "Don't touch me." 

"Easy, Baby." Chris said, holding up his hands in defense.  "Come on." He said, heading towards the source of the music that was playing loudly through the house.  "There's a house full of people here.  Let's party!"

JC rolled his eyes again as he picked up his beer and the rest of the guys followed Chris into the main part of his house.  Lance had been right-some things never changed and it made him smile.  He was surprised at how many people were there that he didn't know and Chris had been telling the truth-there were a lot of good looking girls that had come.  But no matter how they flirted with him, smiled coyly or tried to flatter him, his mind and heart were thousands of miles away.  He was glad he'd decided to come; if only to see the guys and party like old times, but as the evening wore on the more he missed Rachel and just wanted to be home in L.A.  With her.  He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and felt disappointed that it had remained quiet all evening. 

"Hey, C." Joey said, coming up behind him.  "Kelly brought Brianna over.  She wants to say hi."

JC slipped his phone back into his pocket and pasted a smile on his face as he followed Joey back through the kitchen towards the foyer.  As he hugged Brianna and Kelly and talked with them for a couple minutes JC tried to stay focused, but his thoughts kept straying.  I wonder what she's doing right now.  He'd left town feeling frustrated and upset at Rachel, but he'd had a couple days to cool off and think and the simple fact was: he missed her-a lot-and couldn't wait to get back home.        

  ~~~~~~

Rachel grabbed the bag of chocolate she'd bought a few days ago and which had sat untouched all evening on her kitchen counter.  Not one trick-or-treater. She thought.  Can you believe it?  Sitting down on the couch she grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and logged on to the internet.  It had been almost a week since she'd checked her email account and since it appeared she was in for a quiet Friday night alone, she figured she might as well waste some time surfing around the internet. 

Checking to see whether or not Megan had updated her blog, Rachel then decided to see what the latest celebrity gossip was and logged in to TMZ's website.  She grabbed a Reese's Peanut Butter cup from the bag beside her and unwrapped it, placing the chocolate in her mouth as the site's front page loaded.  Rachel wadded the little foil wrapper into a small ball and tossed it over on the coffee table, then scrolled through the top stories.  Nothing really caught her eye until she got to the last post.  Love Triangle at The Vortex.

Below was a picture of her and Justin out on the dance floor last weekend. "Damn he's sexy!" Rachel said out loud.  A smile spread and she giggled, contemplating Megan's face when she saw this, as she clicked on the picture-saving it to her computer before she read the article that had been written.  Opening her email account Rachel chuckled to herself as she attached the picture of her and Justin and typed a quick message to Megan.

See.  I told you :)

Sending the email to her best friend, Rachel went back to the article on TMZ's website and read what they had written about the picture.

Late Saturday night two former N SYNC band mates were spotted paling around at the The Vortex.  The smiles soon faded and  mood shifted however, as Justin seemed to move in on the mystery blonde JC has been seen with several times over the past couple weeks.  The latter did not look happy as Justin brought sexy back with his mad dance skills on the floor.  The mystery blonde, who sources claim is interior designer Rachel Kline, looked ecstatic to be dancing with the most famous member of N SYNC.  Is she thinking about an upgrade?  JC did not look happy about the goings on out on the dance floor and quickly moved in to stake his claim.  The couple was spotted later, cozying up at their table while Justin looked on longingly.  The only question we have is: Where was Jessica?

Rachel laughed at the ridiculousness of the article.  "Oh please." She said, putting another peanut butter cup in her mouth.  She smiled as she clicked on the picture that had been taken of her and JC at the bottom of the article and enlarged it.  Rachel reached out and ran her finger over JC's profile.  It was a good picture of him.  Hell, Rachel thought.  Any picture of him is a good picture!  Her eyes took in the photo, her brows furrowing as she tried to remember what Justin had been saying that had been so important that she would look away from JC as he sat there looking at her so adoringly. 

Her phone rang and she reached for it blindly, her eyes not wanting to leave the picture. 

"Hello?" She asked as she placed the phone to her ear.

"Okay, did you Photoshop that picture?" Megan asked.  "Seriously."

"What?" Rachel asked with a laugh.

"The picture you just sent me of you dancing with Justin." Megan clarified.  "Did you Photoshop it?"

"How in the hell would I Photoshop a picture like that?" Rachel asked still laughing.  "You're the one who majored in graphic design, not me.  You know, I'm hurt that you don't believe me about dancing with Justin.  You told me you'd believe me if I sent you a picture, so I sent you a picture and what do you do?  You still don't believe me!"  Megan laughed.  "I don't think we can be friends." Rachel said. 

"Oh, knock it off!" Megan insisted, still laughing.  She sighed appreciatively.  "Damn, he looks good!"

"Uh-huh." Rachel giggled.

"Is he really--"

"Yes." Rachel interrupted.  "Yes he is.  He is really that sexy in real life."

Megan laughed.  "Sometimes I really hate you."

Rachel smiled.  "I should send you the picture of me and JC then you'll really hate me."

"Okay!" Megan replied excitedly making Rachel laugh.  "Who took the pictures?"

"I don't know." Rachel shrugged.  "I got on TMZ's website and they were there."

"You're on TMZ's website?!" Megan exclaimed.

"Yeah."

"Rachel Kline!" She scolded.

"What?" Rachel asked.  "I told you as soon as I found out myself!"

"What are they saying about the picture?"

"That Justin, JC and I are in some sort of love triangle." Rachel replied with a giggle.  Megan erupted in laughter again. 

"Are you?" Megan asked.

"Megan!" Rachel gasped.

"What?" Megan asked.  "It's a valid question.  With the way Justin is all over you while you two are dancing and with the way you and JC are now..." She trailed off.  "I can see where someone could draw that conclusion."

"I am not in a love triangle of any sort let alone one with JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake!" Rachel defended.

"Though you'd be the envy of millions of women, and I suspect an equal number of men as well, if you were." Megan mused. 

Rachel laughed.  "I don't really want to think about how many men are possibly lusting after my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Megan asked, intrigued.

"Well...yeah." Rachel answered, feeling her cheeks warm though no one was there to see her embarrassment.  "You don't think he's my boyfriend?"

"Well...yeah." Megan answered.  "I don't know.  It's just weird to hear you say that word in reference to JC and actually have it mean something, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Rachel replied.  She'd often referred to JC as her ‘boyfriend' over the years, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think he might actually be her boyfriend one day.  She giggled.

"You are so twitterpated." Megan observed.

"Yep.  It's true." Rachel readily agreed making her friend chuckle. 

"Hey, I have to go." Megan said.  "I just had a couple minutes to talk.  We've got some friends from work coming over and then I think we're going to watch a movie."

"Okay." Rachel said.  "Have fun.  Tell Jackson I said hi."

"I will." Megan assured her.  "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright." Rachel said.  "Good night."

As she hung up, Rachel once more ran her fingers over the picture of her and JC on her screen.  Copying the picture to her computer she quickly set the photo as he desktop wallpaper.  Smiling, she set her laptop on the coffee table and stood.  She walked over to her DVD collection and pulled out The Village-a movie she'd seen numerous times.  "Appropriate for Halloween, I'd say." She said out loud.  Placing the DVD in the player she grabbed the blanket that was thrown over the back of the couch and curled up on the couch.

As the opening credits started her mind immediately went back to the last time she'd curled up on the couch to watch a movie.  Somehow, the pillow she was laying on seemed a poor substitute to JC's warm body and inviting arms.  Movies are definitely more enjoyable with him as a cuddle buddy. She thought.  She began wondering how he was, and if he was doing like he said in his card a few days ago-was he really thinking about her?  She kind of regretted not going with him this weekend.  What would it have hurt?  She thought.  She had kicked herself several times over the past couple days.  She had given up the opportunity to meet the rest of her teenage idols and the possibility of being friends with them.  It JC wanted her to meet the other guys, that showed he was more than interested in her, didn't it? 

"Why did I say no?" She mumbled, rolling her eyes.   "Am I crazy?"  Reaching into her pocket she took out her cell phone and quickly typed a short message to the man currently occupying her thoughts.

How was the party?

Sending the message to JC, Rachel looked at the time.  9:30.  That means it's...12:30 in Orlando.  The party's probably still underway.  Rachel reached out and put her cell phone on the coffee table, trying to concentrate on the plot of the movie instead of letting her mind dwell on what JC might be doing right now.  If Chris was anything like his image portrayed him to be, there was sure to be a lot of girls at this party.  And not just any girls-pretty girls.  Why didn't I go with him? She thought again, the image of JC dancing and flirting with another girl leaving a bad taste in her mouth.  Her eyes left the screen and looked over at the wallpaper on her laptop desktop, then over at her phone willing it to ring.

This is ridiculous! Rachel thought, reaching for the bag of peanut butter cups once more.  He said he'd be thinking of me and that he'd call when he got back in town on Monday.  She unwrapped a piece of chocolate and placed it in her mouth, chewing it quickly as she tried to restrain herself from calling him.  Acting the part of the jealous and overbearing girlfriend is not the way to go.  She told herself.  Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.    This was a good lesson in trust Rachel decided.  "I hate lessons in trust." She grumbled.

Finally, she became engrossed in the movie, losing track of the time as the story grabbed her.  Rachel instinctively pulled the blanket closer to her as the movie made her jump-like it always did-in certain parts. As much as people touted this movie as being an intense thriller, it was the love story between the two main characters that made it Rachel's favorite.  She watched the screen longingly as Joaquin Phoenix recited one of the most romantic declaration of love Rachel had ever heard. 

Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others.

"And yes," Rachel said the last line out loud along with him.  "I will dance with you on our wedding night."  She sighed wistfully, and wondered briefly what JC would do if she were as bold as Ivy Walker and asked the boy she loved if he would dance with her when they got married.  She felt a tingle shot down her spine.  What am I thinking? She questioned.  I can't even really make out with the boy without completely freaking out.  How the hell would I ask him if he would dance with me at our wedding?!  And when exactly did I decide I wanted to marry him?  Rachel shook her head at her ridiculous thoughts and once more turned her attention to the movie.

Even though it was one of her favorite movies, it had been a while since Rachel had seen it and she'd forgotten how intense it was.  As the story neared its end with Ivy in the woods being followed by one of the creatures-her phone vibrated on the table, scaring her and making her scream. 

"Oh my word!" She exclaimed, placing a hand over her racing heart as she closed her eyes briefly.  Opening them she shook her head and reached for her phone.  Flipping it open she smiled when she read the message from JC.

Good, but it would have been better if you'd been here.

She opened a blank message to reply to him as a second text came in.  Again it was from JC and again it made her smile.

I miss you.

Rachel looked at the time.  It was almost eleven which meant it was almost two in Orlando.  Why is it we always talk on the phone so late at night when he's out of town? She wondered.  Not that she was complaining.  Hell, if he wanted to talk at three in the morning she'd be up for it.  It made her feel a little better that he was willing to talk to her at all after she'd been kind of distant with him this past week.  She quickly typed a message and sent it to him.

I miss you too.

She flipped her phone closed and turned her attention back to the movie as she reached into the bag of peanut butter cups only to discover there were three left in the bag.  "Ugh." She said.  "Okay, seriously not a good idea to have a bag of chocolate lying around when I'm lonely and feeling sorry for myself."  Just then her phone vibrated continuously-indicating someone was calling, not just sending her a message.  She reached for it, smiling when she read the name of the caller.

"Hey." She said, placing the phone against her ear and reaching for the remote control. 

"Hello, Beautiful." JC answered quietly making Rachel smile and her heart skipped a beat as she paused the DVD.  "How are you?" He asked.

"I've been better." She answered honestly.

"Why?  What's going on?" He questioned.

"Well," she chuckled.  "The boy I like is almost three thousand miles away at some party in Florida and I've eaten almost an entire bag of Reece's Peanut Butter Cups while I've been watching The Village by myself, if that tells you anything."

He laughed.  "I love Reece's."  He said.  "And The Village is a great movie.  I wish I was there with you."

"I wish you were here too." She admitted.  "My pillow isn't as comfortable as it was with the last movie I watched."  He chuckled.  "So, tell me about the party." She smiled as he began telling her about his evening.  She laughed when he told her about Chris and Joey's costumes and about how he and Justin and gotten into a wrestling match in the kitchen over something (although he didn't mention what).  As he continued telling her about the party Rachel sat up and pulled her laptop into her lap, curious about whether or not the media had caught wind that all five members of N SYNC had been at the same party tonight.  As she went to the Google News page, she chuckled.

"What?" He asked, stopping his narrative.

"Uh...there are already pictures of you guys all together on the internet and people are buzzing."

"Oh yeah?" He chuckled.  "What are they saying?"

Rachel scrolled through a couple of the sites that had information posted.  "They're saying that a reunion must be in the works.  Why else would you all be together again in once place?"

"Hmmm."

"You know, it's not very nice of you guys to tease your fans like this." Rachel replied.

"Who says we're teasing?" He replied.

"Don't even joke about this." Rachel said and he began laughing.  "I'm serious!"  She insisted but JC continued laughing.  "You're such a punk!" Rachel exclaimed as she couldn't help but join in with his laughter.  "There're also some pictures circulating of you and me and Justin at the club last weekend." She said.

"Really?" He asked, his laughter quieting.  "What did they say about those?"

"That there's a love triangle going on between us, which of course, is completely ridiculous."

"Of course." JC answered.

"Because, let's be honest." Rachel continued.  "If Justin were interested in me I'd drop your sorry ass like there's no tomorrow." She finished teasingly.

JC gasped on the other end of the line and Rachel laughed.  "Now, who's the one teasing?" He asked.

"To quote a guy I know, ‘who says I'm teasing?'" She replied.

"You better watch it, Sassy." He threatened and Rachel smiled at his using the nickname he'd given her a few weeks ago.

"Or what?" She prodded him.

"Or...I don't know." He paused. 

Rachel became concerned when he remained quiet.  "Jace?" She questioned.

"Were you being serious?" He asked, worry lacing his tone.

"About Justin?"

"Yeah."

"Hell, no!" Rachel replied. 

"Seriously?" He asked.

"Seriously." She answered.  "Jace, what's the matter?" She asked, picking up on his change of mood.

"Nothing.  I just...nothing."

Rachel's brow furrowed as she sat there confused.  His sudden change in demeanor over her teasing led Rachel to believe he was trying to hide some insecurity he had.  But insecurity about what? Rachel wondered.  He was JC Chasez for crying out loud!  What in the hell did he have to be insecure about?

"When are you coming home?" Rachel asked as he remained quiet on the other end of the line.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because." She answered.  "You never really answered me when I asked you this the other day and I...I miss you.  I want to see you when you get home."

"I'll be home Monday afternoon." He replied, the usual, happy tone to his voice noticeably gone.  "I think my flight gets in around three."

He yawned and Rachel smiled.  "You sound really tired." She said.

"I am." He replied.

"I'll let you go then."

"No."  He said.  "I mean...you don't have to.  I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked, curling back up on the couch and pulling the blanket back over her.

"Yeah."

"Okay." She said. 

"Did you get any trick-or-treaters?" He asked.

"Nope." Rachel answered.  "Hence the reason I ate the whole bag of candy by myself.  I'm going to have to go for a run in the morning."

"Don't run too hard." He cautioned.

"I won't." She smiled.

"I'm not there to make you an ice pack if you injure yourself again." He said and Rachel chuckled, though she felt goose bumps at the remembrance of his concern and kindness.  He really was an incredible person.  It was obvious he'd had a strong and healthy upbringing.  It was definitely a credit to his parents that he had turned out the way he had-that he had been able to stay away from a lot of the pitfalls that came with fame and fortune and remain relatively normal and sane. 

"So who else was at the party?" She asked.

~~~~~

JC put one arm behind his head as he stayed lying down on his bed.  His other arm held his phone against his ear and he closed his eyes, trying to imagine Rachel was actually beside him, instead of clear across the country.  "A lot of people I didn't know." He replied as he answered her question.  "I've really become disconnected from things down here."

"Is it weird going back?" She asked.  "I mean, you spent so much of your life in that city.  That's where everything started."

"It's weird, yeah." He replied.  "I mean, it still feels like home in some respects but everything's different now.  I don't know." He sighed.  "It's hard to explain."

"Why'd you keep your house there?" She asked.

That was a good question.  Why had he kept the house here in Orlando when he had made L.A. his home?  "Nostalgia." He replied, opening his eyes and looking around his room.  "This place is really boring though, you really need to come and fix it."

She laughed.  "You know, that was one thing that amazed me when I first saw your house in L.A."

"What?" He asked with a smile.  "That it was boring?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed.

"Why did that surprise you?" He asked.  "I'm a guy.  I don't decorate."

"Obviously." She laughed.  "It surprised me because...well, you sometimes have a rather...um...unique sense of fashion.  I just assumed your house would give some indication of that."

"Unique sense of fashion?" He questioned.  "What do you mean?"

"Come on." She laughed.  "You know what I mean."

"No I don't." He replied, trying not to laugh.  "Explain yourself, woman."

"Uh...okay." She was quiet for a moment and he waited patiently.  "Okay, for instance..."

"Yeah?" He questioned.

"This is going back a few years, but your outfit in the video for This I Promise You?" She started giggling.

"What was wrong with it?" He asked, trying to think back on what he'd been wearing.  It had been quite a few years since they'd shot that video. 

"Everything!" She replied.  "From the skin tight beige turtle neck to your baggy green and gold patterned pants." Her giggles turned to laughter.  "The whole thing was just awkward."

"Okay," he laughed.  "But you can't blame that one on me.  I didn't have a whole lot of say on that one.  Try again."

"Um...I don't know!" She laughed.  "Give me a second....okay, okay...what about that bowtie outfit you wore on the first season of Dance Crew?"

"What about it?" He asked, not really remembering what outfit she was referring to.

"Did you pick that one out yourself?"

"Yeah." He drawled.

"What the hell were you thinking?" She giggled. 

"I thought I looked alright." He replied.

"Honey, the entire outfit looked like it had been shrunk in the dryer and bowties will never be fashionable except when you're wearing a tuxedo."

"Note taken." He chuckled.  "But it's not always my fault." He said.

"No?"

"No." He shook his head, though she couldn't see him.  "There have been more than a few times when I've shown up for an appearance and been told what I'm going to wear.  It's part of being a celebrity-you have to be seen wearing certain items at certain events."

"Hmmm." Rachel hummed.  "But most of the time you can wear what you want, right?"

"Yeah." He replied.  "For the most part."

"Good to know." She said.

"Why?" He wondered.

"I was just curious." She replied and he chuckled.

"Anything else you're curious about?" He asked.

"Is your favorite color really blue?" She asked.

"Yes, why?"

"I've always wondered how much of the little trivia facts put out about you guys were actually true and what stuff was made up."

He laughed.  "Most of it was true."

"Most?" She questioned.

"Well, I mean...all the stuff that was put out in the beginning about where I'm from and my family background isn't all true because I didn't make the truth about me being adopted widely known."

"What's that like?" She asked.

"Being adopted?" He clarified.

"Yeah."

"Um..." He chuckled self-consciously.  "I don't know.  I really can't compare it to anything...it's just my life."

"Did you always know you were adopted?" She asked.

"Yeah." He nodded.  "I was five when Mom and Dad took me in."

"Are you..." She paused.  "Are you in contact with your birth mother?"

"Yes and no." He answered.  "I know who she is, and I know she's proud of what I've done in life but...Roy and Karen are my parents.  Heather and Tyler are my brother and sister.  That's who my family is."

"I'd like to meet them someday." Rachel said quietly and JC's heart skipped.

"My family?"

"Yeah."

He smiled.  "I'm sure you will." He replied.  He took a deep breath and rolled over on his side.

"Would you be mad if I showed up at the airport on Monday?" Rachel asked.

Again he smiled.  "Why would I be mad?"  He questioned.  She was quiet.  "Are you going to be there?" He asked.

"If I can swing it at work." She replied.

"I'll keep my fingers crossed." He said and she laughed softly.  When she remained quiet he began to wonder if she'd fallen asleep on him.  "Rachel?"  He asked quietly.  There was no answer so he tried again.  "Rach?" 

"Hmmm." She hummed softly and he smiled. 

"Good night, Beautiful." He said.  She didn't answer and he knew she was asleep but he didn't want to end the call.  He stayed on the phone listening to the soft sounds of her breathing for a little while until he reluctantly hung up.

Rolling over on to his back again he put his phone on the nightstand and placed both arms behind his head as he laid, staring up at his ceiling.  Rachel had asked him several questions that caused him to think tonight and even though it was almost three a.m. and he was tired, his mind wouldn't slow down.  His thoughts and feelings were all over the place. 

Rachel had asked him why he'd kept this house and he'd told her one of the reasons.  What he hadn't told her was that he'd really kept it because deep down he wanted to believe that one day things would be like they had been.  If he sold the house, it would be like he was selling out on his dreams.  It gave him a tie to Orlando and without it he knew he might not ever come back to the city.  Although he loved Florida and had years of memories tied up here, it was always bittersweet coming back here and lately it had been more bitter than sweet.

He'd had fun being with the guys tonight laughing and partying like old times, but it hadn't really been like old times.  Something was missing that had been there before. There had always been a silent understanding between them all that they would get back together and do another album, but it had been seven years since Celebrity had been released and seeing the guys again-knowing they each had their own things they were doing, he was finally realizing that another album may never happen.  Could he deal with that?  Could he deal with the fact that at thirty-two his career was basically over?  What did he have left?  His solo career had gone nowhere.  Sure he had his gig on MTV but that thought just caused him to roll his eyes.  Is that what I'm going to be from now on? A reality show judge reduced to doing stupid guest appearances on random television shows?  How pathetic is that? Oh how far I've come.  He thought sarcastically as he closed his eyes.  Maybe it was time to sell this house.  Maybe the time had come to cut ties with the past and finally deal with the reality that was his future. 

JC hiked the strap of his duffle bag higher on his shoulder as he stepped off the plane in L.A. Monday afternoon.  He smiled at the flight attendants at the door, and tried to ignore the excited whispers coming from the two girls walking behind when they recognized him.  He sighed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.  He was tired.  He'd spent the weekend drinking and playing around with the guys and seven hours on a plane today-the last three of which were spent trying not to feel too disappointed that Rachel probably wasn't going to be waiting for him when he got to the waiting area. 

Am I going to see your beautiful face when I get off the plane this afternoon?

He had sent her the text as he'd been sitting on the plane in Cincinnati waiting for the connecting passengers to board.  She hadn't told him if she'd be able to leave work to meet him and he was trying desperately not to get his hopes up.  He had closed his eyes and rested his head back on his seat as he thought back to the conversation they'd had late Friday night/early Saturday morning.  Things had still been a little awkward and hesitant between them but he'd been able to make her laugh and she'd teased him several times which gave him hope.  His phone had then vibrated and he read her message.

I don't know yet. I've been really busy today.

He frowned and sighed as he flipped his phone closed and leaned his forehead against the window he was sitting next to.  Her answer hadn't done anything to alleviate the melancholy mood he'd been in the last few days. 

Now, as he made his way through LAX, past the security checkpoint, JC pulled his cell phone from his pocket-hoping against hope that she'd sent a message while he'd been in the air saying she'd be here.  Nothing.  He stuffed it back in his pocket, disappointed.  But as he came around a corner and looked around he drew up short.  His heart momentarily stopped then began racing.  His mouth went dry and his eyes hungrily took in her presence as a huge grin spread across his face.  She spotted him a second later and smiled timidly at him-the light in her eyes evident even from where he stood. 

She looked incredible!  The short sleeve red dress fell to her knees and the matching red heels she was wearing made her legs look amazing.  Before he knew it he'd closed the distance between them and, dropping his bag at her feet, wrapped his arms around her-one arm around her shoulders, while the other clutched around her waist-heedless of the people walking around them.  She laughed softly in his ear as she wrapped her arms around him as well. 

Inhaling deeply JC closed his eyes as her familiar, intoxicating fragrance surrounded him, effectively lifting his spirits.  He pulled back and looked deeply into her beautiful eyes.  The fear and uncertainty that had been there the last time he'd seen her were gone and he felt hope surge through him.  She looked at him curiously, her delicate brows furrowing slightly at his intense stare, but before she could question him he pressed his mouth to hers-capturing her lips in a heated and driven kiss.  It had been ten days since he'd seen her.  Ten days since he'd kissed her and in his opinion it had been ten days too long.

~~~~~

Rachel melted against JC as he proceeded to kiss her senseless-his arms tightening around her, pulling her closer.  Somehow it didn't matter that they were standing in the middle of LAX.  It didn't matter that there was still a lot they needed to talk about and figure out in regards to their relationship.  All that mattered was the look he'd given her when he'd seen her and the way his mouth was now moving against hers.  The smile that had lit up his face moments before had made her breath catch and her knees weak-not to mention the fact that he was once again wearing his glasses which just made him that much more attractive to her. 

At last he released her mouth and leaned his forehead against hers.  Rachel slowly opened her eyes and looked into his-their breath mingling as they both struggled to breath evenly again.  JC continued looking at her making Rachel feel as if he were able to see straight into her soul.  Did he know?  She wondered.  Could he see how much he meant to her?

"Welcome home." She said quietly, a small smile on her lips.

"I didn't think you'd be here." He answered, placing a soft kiss to her lips.

Rachel sighed as he drew back once more, smiling at him.  "You want me here," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders.  "I'll be here." He grinned at her-that famous grin of his that made the corners of his eyes crinkle up and Rachel's stomach flip.  "Did you check anything?" She asked in reference to his luggage.

"Nope." He shook his head. 

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Starving." He replied, continuing to hold her gaze.  He saw her cheeks redden slightly and smiled.  "How about we order in and go back to my place?" He suggested.

"Okay." Rachel replied, slipping her arm under the black jacket he was wearing and around his waist.  Damn, he's skinny. She thought as he moved beside her and placed his arm around her shoulders as they walked towards the parking garage.  She looked at him and smiled when he looked back at her.

"I'm really glad you came." He said.  "I really missed you."

Rachel just smiled and tightened her arm around him.  As they approached the elevators she noticed a look of disappointment in his eyes. "What's the matter?" She asked.

"I don't want to let you go, but we're going to be in different cars driving back to the house." He answered honestly as they stepped onto an empty elevator.

Rachel smiled.  "No we're not." She replied releasing him and leaning back against the handrail along the back wall of the elevator.

"We're not?" He asked, dropping his bag and moving to stand in front of her, his hands resting on the rail to either side of her.

"Nope." Rachel replied, looking up at him through her lashes.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and fought not to laugh when she heard him groan softly.  Guys are so easy! She thought.

"How'd you get here?" He asked, lowering his head and brushing his lips against the sensitive skin below her ear.

Rachel shuddered and closed her eyes.  "Cab." She breathed out; surprised she could speak at all as he moved closer and pressed his lips to the corner of her jaw.  "I was hoping you'd be glad to see me and take pity on me."  Her breath caught as his lips grazed the corner of her mouth.  "Jace..." She breathed out, running her hands up his chest and clutching onto his shoulders.  "We're in an elevator." She reminded him as he brought both of his hands up and framed her face as he kissed the other side of her mouth.  "At the...airport..."

He pulled back and looked at her.  "This is your fault." He said, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

"My fault?" She questioned, raising one brow.  "How is this my fault?"

"You're the one who decided to wear this damn dress."  His hands moved from her face and grabbed her waist, pulling her against him.  Rachel grinned as he squeezed her gently.  "Do you know what you do to me when you wear red?" He asked.  "Do you have any idea?" 

"I'm sorry." Rachel smiled and wound her arms around his neck as his arms tightened around her waist.

"Don't be sorry." He insisted.  "As far as I'm concerned you can wear red whenever you want but," he pulled back and let his eyes lazily trail down her body then back up.  "Damn, girl!  You're going to be the death of me." He chuckled, releasing her as the elevator doors finally opened.  JC bent and picked up his duffle bag-slinging it over his shoulder again while he grabbed her hand with his.

Rachel couldn't help the huge smile on her face as she walked close to JC and put her free hand up on his bicep as he kept a hold of her hand.  He squeezed her fingers as they approached his car and gave her a quick kiss as he held the passenger door for her.  As she slid in Rachel watched as his eyes strayed her legs and she smiled.

"See something you like, pop star?" She asked with a smirk.  He just smiled and Rachel laughed as he quickly shut her door.

~~~~~

Count to ten.  JC told himself as he walked around the backside of his car.  Take a deep breath and count to ten.  His reaction to seeing Rachel had taken him by surprise.  The girl honestly had no idea what she did to him-the way her kisses made him feel-and he was pretty sure she had no idea how badly he wanted her, how hard he was fighting to stay in control.  He took one more deep breath before opening the driver's side door and sliding behind the wheel.

Rachel smiled at him and he smiled back.  As he left the parking spot and paid the attendant on the way out he reached over and grabbed her hand again.  He loved holding her hand.  It just felt right-like her hand had been made specifically to fit inside his. 

"So, I know it's only about seventy degrees out, but can we put the top down?" Rachel asked.

"Sure." He chuckled, releasing her hand and pushing the button that automatically lowered the top of his Mercedes.  "Any special reason?"

"Nope." Rachel smiled.  "Just always wanted to."

As they approached a red light before the freeway entrance JC looked over at Rachel and chuckled.  Her head was back and her eyes were closed as she was enjoying the sun on her face and the wind in her hair.  She must have sensed his staring because she turned and looked at him.

"What?" She questioned.  He said nothing, just leaned over and kissed her-long and deep.  When the car behind them honked, he pulled away reluctantly and winked at her as he drove forward. 

When they finally made it back to his house he pulled into the garage and sighed.  It's good to be home. He thought. 

"Come on." Rachel said, excitedly as she got out of the car.  "I want to show you something."

JC got out of the car and followed her into the house, then downstairs to the basement.  She paused once they reached the last step and looked at him expectantly.  He smiled as he took in the change the room had undergone.  The walls had been painted a dark gold color, except for the far wall with the shelves that had been built in-that had been painted maroon.  She'd ordered a large black leather sectional that had been set up facing a flat screen television and entertainment system set up on another wall.  The pool table, that originally had been the only piece he'd had down here, was still there but now looked like it actually belonged.  He walked over and looked at his collection of Hard Rock Café menus-the glue that held everything together down here and made it all work-that she'd arrange on the shelves.

"This is great!" He exclaimed, walking around the couch and plopping down, running his hands over the soft leather. 

"Yeah?" She asked, looking around proudly.

"Yeah.  Come here." He said, holding his arm out towards her.  Rachel walked towards him and placed her hand in his.  He pulled her down beside him on the couch.  "This means we're almost done, right?" He asked, lacing his fingers with her as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yep." She responded.  "We still have to pick a color for the great room upstairs and decide whether we want to paint the bedrooms down here but after that...we're done."

His brow furrowed and the happiness he'd been feeling since seeing Rachel at the airport diminished.  "What are you going to do when you're done here?" He asked.  She raised her head and looked at him. 

"Move on to the next job." She replied matter of factly.  He didn't like that idea.  He'd gotten used to seeing her several times a week in addition to the time they spent together in the evenings and on weekends.  Sure, she was his girlfriend which meant he'd still be able to see her whenever he wanted, but with the house done, she'd now be spending the time she had been spending over here during the day with someone else-their time together would be drastically reduced and he was hesitant about giving that time up to someone else.  "Are you still looking for someone to remodel your house in Orlando?" She asked with a grin, her eyes sparkling.

He chuckled.  "No.  I don't think so." Rachel furrowed her brows in confusion.  "I put it up on the market this morning before I left."

"You did?" She asked looking at him in shock.  "Why?"

"It was time." He shrugged his shoulders.  "I only go out there at the most twice a year.  Why do I need a big ole house just for that?  I can just stay in a hotel, or Chris and Joey still live there.  I can crash at their place."

"Hmmm...well, no worries." She smiled.  "I already have another client I started working with on Friday.  I guess my boss is impressed with the way I've been handling this project and now that Lucy's wedding is over and done with...it's time to start something new."

"Once Cribs airs, you'll probably get a ton of new clients.  Maybe you could even start your own company." He suggested.

Rachel laughed.  "I don't think so.  It'll take a lot more than just doing your house before I'm taken for a serious designer.  Besides," She replied, crossing one leg over the other.  His eyes followed the movement and for the first time noticed a long pink scar running along the side of her knee.  "I've seen Cribs before.  They don't mention who the designer is.  No one's going to know it was me."

"Is this from your knee surgery?" He asked, distracted, as he reached his finger out and ran it along the scar.

 ~~~~~ 

"Y-yeah." Rachel's breath caught in her throat as JC's finger ran along her scar.  His touch sent a tingle down her spine, but also caused her heart to start racing.  Why do you have to touch me? She wanted to ask.  Kissing.  Kissing's fine, but touching...touching leads to memories and memories lead to fear.  Just...don't touch me and everything will be fine.  She wanted to tell him.    

He looked at her, his blue eyes intense and she wondered if he could read her thoughts as he spoke.  "Why are you afraid of me?" He asked. 

Rachel looked at him, completely taken off guard by his question.  "I'm...I'm not afraid of you." She stammered, her heart pounding. 

"Yes you are." He said.  "You try to hide it, but...your heart races, your breathing quickens and your hands start shaking whenever I get near you."

"Maybe you just fluster me." She said, trying to laugh it off.

"Maybe." He said still looking at her.  "But then, how come when I touch you..." Once again he ran his fingertips over her knee.  "You get this terrified look in your eyes.  It's just me, Rachel." He said quietly.  "Why are you afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you." She repeated, taking a deep breath.  She knew they needed to talk, but she didn't realize he'd bring it up so soon.  She needed a second to gather her thoughts and pray for the words to make him understand.  He sat there looking at her, his eyes boring into hers.  "I just...I haven't...I haven't had the best experiences when it comes to dating."  She told him.  "My last serious boyfriend was four years ago and he..." she swallowed feeling the fear and anxiety welling up inside of her again.  Her heart began racing and her palms were sweating.  Just tell him. Her heart insisted.  Her breathing quickened as the panic threatened to overtake her.  "He...he left a lot of scars."  She chickened out.  She couldn't tell him.  JC looked at her, compassion shining in the depths of his blue eyes as he raised his hand and cupped her cheek.

"You don't need to be afraid of me, Rachel." He said.

Yes I do.  She thought.  Whether he knew it or not, JC had the power to hurt her just as deeply as Brian had.  The only difference would be in the way he hurt her.  While Brian had hurt her physically, JC-if he broke her heart-could crush her emotionally.  He leaned forward then and gently placed his lips against hers.  She sighed as he pulled back.  "Just...be patient with me, JC." She said.

"You got it, Beautiful." He replied, stroking his thumb across her cheek.  "What do you want to eat?" He asked, moving the conversation back on to safe ground.

"I'm always up for Chinese." Rachel answered.

"Sounds good to me." He replied with a smile.  "I'm starving."  He stood and tugged on her hand, pulling her up beside him.  Without a word he put his arms around her and hugged her tightly.  "I'm sorry he hurt you." He said quietly and Rachel felt close to tears.  "I can beat him up if you want." He offered, making her laugh.  It had been a long time since a boy had offered to beat someone up for her and it just made her like him even more.  She tightened her arms around him. 

"I don't think it'd be a fair fight." She said leaning back and looking at him.

"So he's a little guy, huh?" He asked.  "That's okay."

"Actually, you're the one with the disadvantage." She replied.  "I don't think your skinny ass would last very long in that fight." He laughed as he hugged her again.  "I really need to fatten you up."

"Good luck." He said with a grin as he released her and they walked back upstairs.  "Oh, I forgot." He said as they walked into the kitchen.  "What are you doing Friday night?"

"Nothing." Rachel said shrugging.  "Why?"

"I've got this premier I have to go to.  Will you come with me?" He asked.

"A premier, as in a movie premier?" Rachel asked in shock.

"Yeah." He nodded as he pulled the take out menu from his favorite Chinese restaurant from a drawer.

"I...what do I wear?" Rachel asked, feeling excited and scared at the same time.  Going to an event with JC would solidify the fact that they were a couple.  There would be photographers and reporters there.  There'd be no more hiding the fact that they were together.  The entire world would know that she, Rachel Olivia Kline, was JC Chasez's girlfriend.

"Whatever you want." He replied.  "It's not a big deal."

"What movie is it?" She asked, trying to be as nonchalant about it as he was being though her inner teenager was dying to jump around and scream.  This was a dream come true.  When she'd been seventeen, MTV had run some promotional contest with the prize being a date with one of the members of N SYNC.  Rachel had sent in multiple entry forms hoping and praying hers would be drawn-it hadn't-and now here she stood; in JC Chasez's kitchen-with JC Chasez-as he asked her to go to a movie premier with him as his girlfriend.  It was almost a little more than she could handle.

"Uh...some kind of action movie that Will Smith's in." He answered distractedly as he looked at the menu in his hands.

"Oh, I love Will Smith." Rachel replied.

"So you'll go with me?" He asked, his blue eyes sliding over to look at her.

"Of course." Rachel assured him with a smile. 

"Good." He leaned over and kissed her quickly.  "Now, what do you want to eat?"

~~~~~~

After driving Rachel back to her apartment Monday night JC returned to his house and crashed.  He slept most of the next day as the jet lag and late hours of the weekend finally caught up to him.  When he finally woke up around two the next day he stretched and rubbed his eyes.  I'm getting too old for this.  He thought as he got up and made his way into the bathroom.  Twenty minutes later-showered, shaved and dressed-he made his way downstairs, his stomach growling.  Grabbing a bowl from the cupboard and a spoon from the drawer he poured himself a bowl of Capn'n Crunch.  Turning to the fridge he pulled out the milk Sarah had bought last week.   Smelling it to make sure it hadn't gone bad he quickly poured some over the cereal then sat down at the kitchen table. 

"Jace?"  He heard Sarah call out.

"In the kitchen." He replied taking another bite and smiling as Sarah walked in.  "Long time no see." He said as she approached him.  She said nothing, just tossed a couple pieces of paper across the table to him.  "What's this?" He asked.

"Marcus wasn't very happy this morning." Sarah said as he looked at the pictures she'd given him.  The first few were of Rachel coming and going from his house, then a picture of her and Justin dancing at the club on her birthday, then one of them kissing in his car just yesterday.  The last one was of him and the guys at Chris' party over the weekend.  "He wants to know exactly what is going on with you and Rachel and what, if anything, is going on with you and the guys."

"Am I not allowed to have a girlfriend?" JC asked, putting the pictures down and returning to his cereal.  "It's not like I'm still in the group and trying to keep up an image.  Besides, I thought he'd be happy.  I'm finally putting an end to the gay rumors."

"I don't think it's so much Rachel that has him concerned as it is the other guys." Sarah replied.  "Are you guys planning something?"

"It was a Halloween party!" He exclaimed in frustration. 

"He told me there is already a lot of speculation going around about a possible reunion." Sarah said. 

"Let me get this straight." JC said, forgetting about his cereal and leaning back in his chair.  "I'm not allowed to have a girlfriend and now I'm not allowed to hang out with my best friends?  I'm an adult.  I can do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want."

"Calm down." Sarah sighed.  "I'm just relaying what he told me this morning.  Don't kill the messenger."

"I'm not a kid and I'm not in the group anymore and even if I was Marcus can't tell me who I can date and who I can spend my time with.  Tell him to turn his energy towards helping me get this damn album out instead of worrying about what I did over the weekend." JC said standing and taking his bowl to the sink.

"He's your manager, Jace, you tell him." Sarah said calmly, folding her arms across her chest.  "It's his job to keep track of what's being said about you and try to clean up anything that needs to be cleaned up, remember?"

"Nothing needs to be cleaned up." He said, walking out of the kitchen and making his way downstairs.  As he walked towards the studio he stopped and looked at the plaques covering the wall.  He'd grown used to seeing them everyday but for some reason they caught his eye today.  Maybe it was the fact that he'd put his house in Orlando up for sale, or the fact that being with the guys this weekend had made him realize a few things.  Whatever the reason, he stood looking at the evidence of what he'd accomplished in his life an odd feeling of depression washing over him.  He knew he should feel proud-hell, he'd achieved a level of success that millions of people only dreamed of-why didn't he feel that sense of accomplishment anymore?

His phone vibrated and he pulled it from his pocket as he turned and continued down the hall.

I am sitting in the most boring staff meeting of my life! I'm going to die!

He smiled as he read Rachel's text and typed a reply as he sat down at the keyboard. 

Don't die. I'm not going to be able to get anyone else to go with me on Friday and I don't want to go alone.

She quickly responded, making his sour mood of moments before disappear.

Then you better distract me so I don't die.

"Distract you?" He mused out loud.  "Careful, sweetheart." He ginned, feeling mischievous.  I know just how I'd like to distract you.  Opening a blank message his fingers typed out a response.

What did the apple say to the banana?  Nothing! Apples don't talk!

Setting his phone over on the table adjacent to the keyboard he grabbed the headphones that were plugged in to the instrument and looped them around his neck, waiting to see if and how she would respond.  His phone was silent for a few minutes and he put the headphones over his ears, figuring she'd respond when her meeting was done.  He started playing the song he'd begun writing a few weeks ago, but stopped after only playing a few measures.  Something wasn't right.  He played around with the keyboard for a few minutes, finally figuring out what the problem was. 

Grabbing his phone he went back upstairs and made his way to the front room and sat down at the keys of the baby grand Rachel had insisted on buying.  Placing his fingers on the keys he rolled out the first chord.  Much better. He thought.  This wasn't a song that could be digitized and played on an electric keyboard.  This was a song that required the rich, full sound of a real piano to help convey the emotion behind what he was trying to say.  He played the first measure then stopped as his cell phone began ringing.  He smiled when he saw Rachel's name flash across the screen and answered the call.

"Hey." He said.

"I would just like you to know that you got me in trouble in my meeting today." She said.

"Me?" He asked innocently.  "How did I get you in trouble?"

"Hmmm, I wonder." She replied sarcastically.  "Mr. What did the apple say to the banana."

He laughed.  "It was a good joke."

"Yes, it was." Rachel answered, finally laughing herself.  "So good in fact that I laughed out loud.  Right in the middle of a staff meeting!"

"You shouldn't have told me to distract you then." He said. 

"Note taken." She replied, with a chuckle. 

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble." He said sincerely.

"It's okay.  I didn't really get in trouble.  My manager sure gave me the evil eye though.  Thanks for making me laugh.  It was what I needed."

"Your welcome." He replied, smiling. 

They talked for a few more minutes then hung up when her work phone started ringing.  "I'll call you later." She promised and he hung up.  Putting his phone back in his pocket JC once again began playing.  As his fingers continued to play the music he'd written JC began to softly sing the words he'd written.

I need to tell you what I know. 
Without you my life is just a show.
Too many things have come and gone...

He stopped.  It still needed a lot of work but it was a start.   

~~~~~~

JC unbuttoned his vest as he poured himself a glass of wine then walked downstairs, Saturday evening.  Turning on the flat screen he sunk down on the couch and took a sip.

"...The stars were out for the L.A.  premier of Will Smith's new movie last night among which were Tom Cruise, Shia LaBeof, Cameron Diaz and former N SYNC member JC Chasez-who showed up with rumored girlfriend, Rachel Kline.  Jann Carl was there with our cameras and caught up with the stars on the red carpet to get their reaction to the movie and get the scoop on a few rumors."

He picked up the remote, intent on changing the channel when they showed the clip of him and Rachel at the premier last night.  He sat, arm lowering, watching her, as the Entertainment Tonight reporter talked to him.  She had been absolutely stunning-standing beside him in her sleeveless brown and cream patterned dress last night.  All he'd wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her, really kiss her, but he couldn't--not without causing a scene and really embarrassing her.  So, he'd had to content himself with holding her hand possessively all evening and stealing a few kisses during the movie.

"How was the movie?" Jann asked, stopping them on the carpet.  "Did you guys like it?"

"It was great." JC answered with a smile.  "Will's a pro, he doesn't disappoint."

"What do you think of the rumors about Justin and Jessica breaking up?"

"You know, I just saw Justin last week--"

"That's right, N SYNC was back together for one night, huh?" Jann smiled.

"Yeah." JC chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck.  "Yeah, I saw all the guys last week."

"Any truth to the rumors? Are you guys getting back together?"

"No." JC shook his head.  "Not right now.  It was just a Halloween party."

"So Jessica and Justin are okay?"

"Yeah.  I mean...it's tough, you know, being in a relationship when you're a celebrity." He looked over at Rachel then back to the reporter.  "But I don't have any concerns about those two.  They've got a pretty solid relationship as far as I can tell."

JC smiled as he recalled the way Rachel had clung to him the entire night.  With other girls he'd dated in the past if they'd held onto him like that it had been because they were staking their claim on him publicly, but not Rachel.  He could see the excitement in her eyes as they'd arrived and mingled with the other celebrities that had been at the premier, but along with the excitement were equal amounts of nervousness and uncertainty.  She hadn't let go of his hand all evening, silently seeking his support, and it had made him feel like he was on cloud nine.  To know a girl needed him-not his money, not the fame that came along with being his girlfriend, and not the connection to other celebrities that he had-was a very empowering feeling.  

"Speaking of relationships, are you two...?" The reporter asked with an interested smile.

JC looked at Rachel again before answering then turned back to the cameras with a smile on his face.  "Yeah."

"Congratulations." She offered.

"Thanks." JC said, as he and Rachel continued on.

"There you go." The reporter said.  "You heard it here first ladies: one more heartthrob and former member of N SYNC is officially off the market."

JC clicked off the television and took another sip of his wine-the silence of his house was deafening and he wished Rachel were there.  They'd spent the day together as he tagged along while she went furniture shopping for her new clients but he'd had to leave her at her apartment an hour ago because of a bachelorette party she was going to for one of the girls she worked with. 

As he sat in his quiet house, slowly swirling the wine in his glass the melancholy he'd been pushing away since returning from Orlando returned.  With nothing else to occupy his mind, thoughts and feelings he'd been trying to ignore for awhile threatened to overwhelm him. Putting his house up for sale had affected him more than he'd planned on.  It was the last piece of his past that he'd been holding on to and it felt weird knowing he'd no longer have it.  Selling the house was a sign that he'd accepted that the past was gone and it was time to move on to the future, but as he sat there, slowly draining the wine in his glass JC wondered what that future was going to be like.

He got up as he emptied his glass and walked over to the bar in the corner.  Grabbing a bottle of tequila he poured himself a shot, hissing as the alcohol burned on its way down.  He'd more or less given up on his solo career and he was still bitter about it.  I'm just as good as Justin. He thought.  Pouring another shot, he threw that one back as well.  I was just as popular as he was, why didn't people like my album?  He'd worked hard on the first album, and had released it with high expectations only to be shot down.  So, he'd started working on his second album, hoping that people would give him a second chance but here he was four years later and the album was still sitting on the shelf.  He'd cut ties with Jive last year hoping that a new label would help him where they had failed to.  He wanted to be angry at the label executives, but really couldn't.  From a producer's point of view he understood where they were coming from-when you were on the same label as Justin Timberlake how do you compete?  But the musician in him didn't understand.  Why?  He thought.  Why does Justin get all of the spotlight?  Justin has always gotten the spotlight.  When is it my turn? 

As he went to pour a third shot his eye caught the two Billboard Music Awards sitting on the other end of the bar that the group had won back in 1998-when they'd finally made it big over here in the states and they'd started their climb to the top.  He walked over to them and picked one up, his anger increasing.

"I'll never have this again." He said bitterly.  He set it back down then turned and threw his glass across the room.  It hit the far wall and shattered, leaving a hole and rattled the framed platinum album plaques hanging nearby.  Walking unsteadily towards the pictures JC took the one for No Strings Attached-arguably the group's best album-off the wall and looked at it for a second.  What happened? He wondered.  How come they'd never gotten back together?  They always said they'd do another, but it had been seven years!  It wouldn't have bothered him so much if his own album had done better.  I'm done.  He thought.  It's over. He let the picture fall to the ground and made his way back to the bar.  He'd worked so damn hard to be in this business and what had it gotten him?  A few pictures to hang on his wall; a bunch of trophies taking up space in his house; memories that constantly tormented him with how his life used to be and how it would never be the same again.

~~~~~~

Rachel was startled awake by the ringing of her cell phone and reached blindly for it on the nightstand.  She'd been out late with some of the girls from work for Charlotte's bachelorette party and her head hurt-a combination of the music from the club they'd gone to and the alcohol she'd consumed. 

"Hello?" She answered groggily, not bothering to look at the screen to see who was calling. 

"Hey." A deep, sexy voice came over the line.  Rachel rubbed her hand over her face and looked over at the clock.  2:15.

"Who is this?" She asked, yawning. 

"Josh." He answered. 

"Who?"

"It's Josh." He repeated.  Rachel struggled to wake up.

"Do I know a Josh?" She asked.  "Wait." She concentrated for a moment.  "JC?" She asked, her mind suddenly recognizing his voice.

"Yeah." He answered.

She yawned again as he remained quiet.  "What's going on?" She asked.  "Why are you calling me at two o'clock in the morning?" 

"Is that what time it is?" He asked. 

"Yes." She answered slowly.  "Did you need something?" 

"Yeah." He answered.  "You." 

"Me?" She questioned.  "Why do you need me in the middle of the night?" 

"Do you really need me to answer that question?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes as she noticed the slur in his voice.  "How much have you had to drink tonight?" She asked. 

"Drink?" 

"You sound like you're drunk."  

"I'm not drunk, baby." 

Rachel cringed at the pet name.  She'd always hated it and she'd told him that.  Hearing that name coming from JC really rubbed her the wrong way.  Apparently whatever he'd had to drink was affecting his memory. 

"Don't call me baby." She stated firmly. 

"Sorry.  I forgot."  They were both quiet for a few seconds.  "Please come over." He asked the quiet pleading tone in his voice almost more than she could resist. 

"No." Rachel answered, rolling over and pulling her blankets up.

"Why not?" He whined. 

"Because I have a headache." She responded becoming irritated.  "I had a few drinks tonight and I don't think it's a good idea for me to come over there when you have obviously had a lot to drink as well.  Who knows what could happen." 

"I can think of a few things that might happen." He said, the suggestive tone of his voice made it obvious as to what he was referring.

"Exactly." Rachel chuckled.  "That's why I shouldn't come over.  Just go to bed, Jace.  I'll see you tomorrow.  I'll call--"

"I might kill myself." He interrupted her. 

"No you won't."  Rachel responded. 

"You don't know that.  I'm drunk.  There's no knowing what I could do in this state."  She heard a loud noise in the background and suddenly became concerned.  "Please?" He asked again.  "I want to see you."

She sighed.  "Fine." She relented.  "Give me twenty minutes.  Just don't...do anything stupid until I get there, okay?"  She asked.  JC remained quiet but she could still hear him breathing on the other end.  "Okay?" She repeated, a little more firmly this time.

"Yeah." He answered quietly.

"Alright." She said.  "I'm coming."

"Okay." He replied.  Rachel flipped her phone closed, but sat looking at it for a few seconds before she got up and pulled a pair of black sweat pants over the shorts she'd been sleeping in.  What the hell?  She thought.  He'd been fine a few hours ago.  Why the sudden and drastic change?  She grabbed her grey hoodie, zipping it as she slipped on a pair of flip flops and grabbed her car keys.  Praying she wasn't making a huge mistake she left her apartment and headed across town to JC's house.

Twenty minutes later-as promised-Rachel pulled up to his gate.  Rolling down the window of her car she quickly punched in the gate code and made her way up the driveway.  Coming to a stop Rachel stepped out of her car and walked up to the front door.  She knocked a couple times but when he didn't answer she inserted the key he'd given her and let herself in.

"Jace?" She called out, shutting and locking the front door behind her.  She stood still and listened.  He could be anywhere. She mused.  "Jace?" She called out again, a little louder this time.  She began walking back towards the great room, quickly scanning each room she passed, as she continued to call his name.  As she came around the corner of the hall Rachel saw the lights on downstairs and, walking down to the basement she stopped, her heart aching at the scene she found.

JC sat on the floor with his back against the wall, his arms resting on his raised knees, his head bowed.  An empty glass bottle lay beside him, tipped on its side on the carpet, while a half empty glass of something sat on the small table beside the couch.  Her eyes took in the room, miscellaneous pictures and awards were thrown around haphazardly.  Rachel's eyes noticed a good sized hole in the wall beside him and she wondered if whatever had caused the hole had been the noise she'd heard over the phone.

"Jace?" She said softly, taking the final step and walking towards him.  He didn't answer.  "Josh?" She asked using his real name in hopes it would get his attention.  It did.  He slowly raised his head and looked up at her, the emptiness in his blue eyes making her want to cry.  She'd never seen him look like this and it scared her.  What had happened?  What had made the sparkle completely leave his eyes?  What had brought this on?

Rachel slowly picked up the empty bottle on the floor, noticing some broken glass on the floor beside him as well, and took it and the glass on the table to the wet bar in the corner.  She turned her back on him and leaned against the counter as she swallowed and blinked back her tears.  She hadn't been prepared to walk into this scene and if she was going to be of any help to him she needed to get her emotions under control.  He didn't need to see her tears.  I was obvious he was dealing with his own pain right now.  He needed her to be strong; to be the one he could lean on.  She took a few deep breaths. 

"Rachel?"

She jumped as he called out.  He sounded as if he were unsure if he'd really seen her or if she had just been a figment of his inebriated imagination.

Rachel sniffed and wiped away the few tears that had escaped.  "I'm here." She said, walking towards him and kneeling down beside him.  He looked at her and she couldn't resist the urge to run her fingers through his hair.  He looked like a little boy sitting there and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be okay.  He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand as she lowered it to his cheek, her thumb brushing over the scruff that was there.  "What happened?" She asked quietly.

"I think I ruined the wall." He said opening his eyes and pointing at the damage he'd done.

"Yeah, I saw that." She said with a sad smile.  "Tony's not going to be very happy about having to come back out here." He nodded in resignation and leaned his head back against the wall.  Rachel removed her hand from his face and stood, placing her hands on her hips and looking down at him.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his brows furrowing.

"Nowhere." She answered, smiling at him.

"Come back down here then." He held his hand up to her.

"Why don't you come up here?" She asked, pulling at his proffered hand. 

After a few unsuccessful tries she finally managed to help him to his feet.  Hooking JC's arm around her shoulders Rachel grunted softly as she attempted to help him balance.  She had miscalculated just how much he weighed as he slumped against her and was surprised.  For being so skinny he was deceptively heavy.  Maybe he could beat up Brian. She thought wryly.

"Come on, Tiger." She said quietly.  As she tried to get him to move in a somewhat straight line as they made their way towards the stairs Rachel decided that of all the sides she'd seen of JC over the past couple months, "drunk JC" was by far her least favorite.

JC chuckled when they made it up the stairs to the main level and he swayed slightly.  Rachel placed one hand on his stomach and kept her other arm around his back, gripping his waist and trying to keep him upright as they walked towards the stairs leading to the second floor.  Once more they began climbing the stairs, taking them slowly one at a time.  Her breath caught and her heart jumped as he suddenly turned his head and began nuzzling her neck.  Rachel found herself praying for strength.  There was just enough alcohol still left in her system to make this a very dangerous situation. 

"Jace..." She breathed out, cursing the tingling sensation that consumed her.  He chuckled again, his laugh low and rough in her ear.  "Come on." She said, repositioning herself beneath his arm.  "Help me out here."

Somehow they finished the trek up the stairs and down the hallway.  Rachel opened the door to his room and guided him over to the bed.  She helped him sit on the edge of the mattress and looked at him.  He looked so lost and sad.  Again, all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was going to be okay.  But, she didn't know if everything would be okay.  She didn't know what had prompted this drinking binge. She turned to retrieve a blanket from the closet. 

Rachel was only able to take one step, however, before his hands came out and caught her hips.  Her heart leapt into her throat, and her breathing became ragged as he pulled her slowly back towards the bed.  Her eyes closed as the back of her knees hit the edge of the mattress.  She had to get out of there.  She knew the limits of her restraint and didn't want to tempt fate tonight.  JC was dangerous enough sober, but when he was drunk and his inhibitions gone he could prove to be her undoing.  She'd managed to say no to one drunk invitation from him, but knew she wouldn't be able to say no again.

JC's hands moved around and flattened out against her stomach.  He's drunk.  He's drunk.  He's drunk.  She had to remind herself of that fact as she felt him stand behind her.  He's drunk. She repeated.  He's...He's... She stopped breathing as his lips made contact with the side of her neck and she knew she was lost.  Her head lolled back, resting against his shoulder.  As his left hand came up, his fingers gently caressing her throat, his other arm remained around her-his hand splayed out against her stomach, keeping her pinned against him.  His sinful mouth placed several slow, warm kisses on her neck, and across her shoulder. 

"Jace..." She breathed, not wanting him to stop but knowing he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning and she would regret it.  She tried to escape his grasp.  "Let me go." Rachel placed her hands on the arm he had around her.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?"  He asked his voice pretty much the sexiest thing Rachel had ever heard.  She felt her knees weaken and cursed her stupid female hormones for responding to him as his lips traveled up her neck.  "Do you know what you do to me?  The way you walk, the way you laugh, the way smile.  Everything about you turns me on.  I want you." He whispered, his mouth brushing against the sweet spot behind her ear.

"You're drunk." She responded, her entire body breaking out in tingles and goose bumps as he chuckled in her ear, his warm breath hitting the sensitive skin there.

"I'm not that drunk." He said.  Rachel allowed him to turn her in his arms.

"Yes, you are." She replied.  "I don't think--" His lips cut her off and she momentarily forgot the reasons why she was trying to resist him.  Her eyes closed reflexively as he bent his head and touched his lips to hers and as she tilted her head-allowing him to deepen the kiss-she wound her arms around his neck.  She tasted the alcohol on his tongue and found it exciting. 

What started out as a simple kiss soon intensified and Rachel found herself being turned and lowered to the bed.   Her head was screaming at her that this was a bad idea, but as JC's mouth released hers, his lips traveling along her jaw and down her neck, Rachel pushed aside the angel sitting on her shoulder.  His hands found hers-their fingers entwining as he raised her arms above her head.  Rachel groaned as one of his hands slowly trailed down along her arm and came to a stop at the front of her sweatshirt.  He raised his head then-his eyes connecting with hers-as he slowly lowered the zipper.

Rachel thought her heart was going to stop as he opened and pushed aside the sides of her sweatshirt, his hands gripping her waist.  Her arms automatically went around his neck, her fingers becoming lost in his dark hair.  As he once more bent his head and began placing hot kisses along her neck, Rachel closed her eyes and prayed for the strength to stop this.  She knew neither of them were ready for this-her least of all.  She was surprised that she'd been able to let him get this far without freaking out, but as one of his hands slipped beneath the hem of her tank top-his warm fingers gliding across her skin-she froze and common sense returned. 

"Stop." She insisted but either he was too drunk or too impassioned-probably both-to hear her.  "Jace." She removed her arms from around him.  "Jace, stop."

"Say my name." He said leaning towards her.

"Please don't make me be the bad guy." She insisted, ignoring his request though the look in his eyes made her stomach flip and goose bumps engulf her.  "We're both going to regret it in the morning.  Besides, what--"

"Say my name." He repeated, kissing her softly.  "I love how you say my name." He said as he spoke against her lips.

Rachel sighed.  "Joshua." She breathed and he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.  "Stop this." She said.

"I want you." He said, once more looking into her eyes.  "I've wanted you since the first night we met."

"You're drunk and depressed, Jace.  I don't think it's a good idea for me to be here right now."

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about this." He said, once more lowering his head and placing his mouth against her neck.  No.  She thought.  I've tried very hard not to think about this. 

"Jace, stop." Rachel placed her hands on his shoulders and somehow managed to wiggle out from beneath him.  Quickly standing she fumbled with the zipper of her sweatshirt as she moved away from the bed.  "I'm going now." She said turning, but once more his arms stopped her.

"You told me you regretted walking away from me a year ago."  He said, whispering behind her ear and Rachel fought the desire to give in to him.  "Don't walk away from me tonight.  Don't make the same mistake again."  She dropped her arms as he kissed her ear causing her to shudder.  Damn you, JC Chasez!  She thought.  Why are you doing this to me?  "You can't tell me this isn't what you've always wanted." He continued, turning her in his arms. "I know you." He said, his eyes holding hers as he pushed the sweatshirt off her shoulders until is fell off her and landed on the floor.  He raised one hand and brushed his fingertips across her cheek before cupping her face and kissing her softly.  Rachel melted against him.  She couldn't fight him any longer.  "I know you." He repeated, pulling back slightly.  "You told me yourself you've been in love with me since you were fifteen.  Well, here's your chance babe."

Rachel opened her eyes and looked at him in surprise.  Was he really going to use the information she'd given him against her?  "Is this what you're like when you're drunk?" She asked feeling hurt as reality crashed in around her.

"What?" He questioned.

"A seductive manipulator?" She answered, stepping out of his arms.  They stood there looking at each other for a moment, disappointment filling her at his careless words and callous attitude.  "I'm leaving." She said finally turning to leave.  "Call me when you sober up tomorrow."

"Other fans haven't walked away." He said, his words sending an arrow through her heart.  She turned and looked at him, her jaw slack.  He stood there looking at her smugly.  How many other fans?  She wanted to ask, but couldn't-the shock stealing her breath.  He stepped towards her.

"Is that all I am to you?" She asked, blinking rapidly against the tears forming.  "A fan?" She was hurt.  Yes she was a fan-and he knew it-but she had worked so hard to keep that fact out of the equation while getting to know him.  She'd been careful about everything she'd said, everything she'd done, but apparently it hadn't done any good.  He was throwing it back in her face as if it meant nothing, as if that was all she'd ever be to him-a fan.  Megan was right. She thought bitterly.  Alcohol really does loosen the tongue and let the truth come out.

"I'll pay you." He offered.  If she'd been shocked before she was stunned now.  Her chest felt tight.  She couldn't breathe.  She stood there looking at him, feeling her dreams shattering one by one.  "Oh wait." He chuckled.  "I'm already paying you.  I want to make sure I'm getting my money's worth." 

She gasped and before she thought about it she drew her hand back and slapped him-hard-the sound of her hand against his cheek reverberating in the quiet room.  JC shook his head as he stared at her, surprise registering in his eyes.  Rachel's hand stung, but his words had cut even deeper. She stood looking at him for a moment as hot tears began to fall.  "Damn you, JC Chasez!" She swore then turned and fled the room.

"Rachel, wait." He called out, suddenly sounding sober but she ignored him.  Quickly descending the stairs she unlocked and yanked open the front door.  She slammed it behind her and ran around to her car.  His words echoing in her head.  I knew it.  She thought.  I knew it was too good to be true.  I knew he'd break my heart.  How could she have so completely misread him?  She'd begun to believe the fairytale happening around her.  How could she have been so stupid as to think that he really cared about her?  She'd been a fool.  Once again she'd given her heart and trusted someone when she should have known better.

Rachel sobbed as she got in her car and quickly left; the hurt and disappointment threatening to suffocate her.  The man she'd idolized since she was fifteen, had become her friend and whom she'd fallen in love with had just reduced their relationship to the cheapest level possible.  In a matter of minutes he'd taken something beautiful and made it dirty-reducing her to nothing more than a prostitute.  It wasn't about compassion, it wasn't about friendship, and it certainly wasn't about love.  He had gone and made it purely about sex.  Up until five minutes ago there had been nothing better in Rachel's world than JC Chasez but now her dreams and heart were shattered.  Rachel's hands shook as she drove, her tears still falling.  I should have known.  She thought.  I should have known.

Pulling off to the side of the road when she couldn't see, Rachel turned off her car and grabbed her phone from where she'd put it in the glove box when she'd gotten to JC's house.  Sobbing she dialed the only number she knew by heart.

"Someone better be dead."  Megan grumbled when she answered.  "Rachel?" Megan questioned at the sound of Rachel's sobbing.  "Rachel, what's wrong?"

"I hate him."

He reached out and wrapped his arms around Rachel as she turned to leave.  Resting his forehead against the back of her head, his nose brushed along the skin behind her ear.  "You told me you regretted walking away from me a year ago." He said.   "Don't walk away from me tonight.  Don't make the same mistake again."  He continued, hoping and praying she'd stay.  He needed her and even though he knew it was low of him using the information she'd entrusted to him against her he was desperate.  She dropped her arms as he kissed her ear and he felt her shudder slightly, a smug smile spreading.  Her resolve was weakening.  "You can't tell me this isn't what you've always wanted." He continued, turning her in his arms.  She looked up at him pleadingly and he knew she was close to giving in to him however, just when he thought she was going to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him back she drew back her hand and slapped him.

JC sat up in bed, his jaw hurt and his hand came up reflexively to hold his face.  However, instead of feeling his hand on his cheek he felt the fabric of the sweatshirt he held in his hands.  He looked at the grey article of clothing in confusion for a second before it registered what he was holding.  Rachel's sweatshirt.  He realized.  "She was really here?" He mumbled out loud.  That would explain the soreness he felt in his cheek.  Suddenly the recollection of Rachel actually slapping him came back and JC groaned.  He couldn't remember exactly what he'd said to her, but he still felt the overwhelming and nauseating regret that had consumed him at the pain and betrayal he'd seen in her eyes.  He rubbed his cheek.  She had a good arm on her, he'd give her that much.  He hadn't expected her to slap him quite so hard.

He swung his legs over the edge of his bed, fighting the pain in his head that made him want to throw up-he'd had a lot to drink last night.  The last thing he remembered was getting angry over how his life had turned out and throwing his glass across the room.  After that he'd gotten a new glass and poured himself another drink and things got a little hazy.  What happened last night?  He wondered.  Fighting the dizziness and the pounding in his head JC made his way towards the bathroom. 

Leaning against the counter he turned on the water faucet, but got distracted by his reflection. His eyes were dull and bloodshot and his entire countenance was haggard.  Suddenly he looked and felt every one of his thirty-two years.  "What happened to you last night?"  He asked the man in the mirror.  "Couldn't handle the truth?"  Shaking his head in derision, JC leaned over the sink and splashed some water in his face hoping it would help him wake up and piece together the events of last night.  He had a sinking feeling that something bad had happened.  But what?  It was obvious from the sweatshirt he'd been holding that Rachel had come over.  But why? He wondered, reaching for the hand towel hanging nearby.  Running it over his face, he once more studied his reflection in the mirror.

"Josh?" Rachel asked softly.  His head felt like it weighed a ton, but somehow he managed to raise it, looking up into the brown eyes that had been in his thoughts and dreams for more than a year.  Normally those eyes were happy and sparkling, but right now they were sad.  He dropped his head back against the wall as she bent and picked up the now empty bottle of Tequila next to him then disappeared.  When she didn't come back right away he began to question whether he'd really seen her or if she'd just been a hallucination.

"Rachel?" He called out, hoping she were real.  She'd said she would come, but part of him wondered if she really would.

"I'm here." She said, reappearing and kneeling down beside him.  He watched her as she reached a hand out and ran her fingers through his hair.  As her hand came to rest against his face he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch-needing the reassuring comfort she was offering.  "What happened?" She questioned quietly.

"What happened?" He repeated her question to his reflection.  What had happened to make her do a complete one-eighty?  What had happened to bring hurt and pain where before there had been such genuine concern and compassion in her beautiful eyes?  What had he done?  Why had he gotten so drunk last night?  Sighing, he tossed the towel on the counter, walked through his room and headed downstairs.  As he reached the bottom step he stopped.

"Come on, help me out." Rachel said, repositioning herself under his arm.  He chuckled as he nuzzled her neck, his lips making contact with her skin.  He felt the arm she had around his waist tighten as she placed her other hand on his stomach and he began to wonder what her hands would feel like on his body with no clothing between them.   He tried to behave himself as she helped him up the stairs.  Finally they made it to his room and he sat down on the edge of the bed.  She stood looking at him for a moment, then turned to leave and he grabbed her-stopping her and pulling her back towards him. 

Rachel was stiff in his arms as he stood and wrapped his arms around her, but as he placed a kiss to her neck she relaxed against him-her head coming back to rest against his shoulder.  A thrill went through him as he turned her in his arms and captured her mouth, kissing her the way he'd been longing to all evening.  He turned them and lowered her back on the bed as their kiss continued.  His fingers laced with hers and he brought her arms up above her head, then slowly trailed one hand down, along her arm, stopping at the zipper of her sweatshirt.

He stopped and looked at her-his body responding to hers-as he slowly lowered the zipper.  He half expected her to freeze up as she normally did when he tried to do anything beyond just kissing her, but was pleasantly surprised that she allowed him to continue.  He pushed aside the sweatshirt, and kissed her as his hands came to rest at her waist-his fingers seeking out the soft, smooth skin he'd felt once before.

"Jace, stop."  

Had he stopped?  He couldn't remember.  Please tell me I stopped.  He plead.  If I finally got the chance to sleep with her last night and I can't remember it I'm going to be really pissed.  He thought.  Making his way towards the kitchen he was grateful to see that Sarah had apparently stopped by this morning and started a pot of coffee brewing.  Grabbing a mug from the cupboard he poured a cup and took a few sips.  Turning he walked towards the patio door.  Stepping outside he stood, looking over the yard, but not really seeing it.  So far what he'd remembered wasn't...too bad.  Sure, he'd been a cad and may have gotten a bit too frisky with her, but there was nothing in his behavior that would warrant the almost smothering guilt he felt.  There was still something he was missing.  With a sigh he turned and sat down in one of the deck chairs.  He took another sip of his coffee then, putting the mug on the table next to him, leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"I'll pay you."

His eyes snapped open as he remembered the words he'd said to her last night.  His heart and chest suddenly constricted, making it hard to breathe as he remembered what had happened to make Rachel slap him.   

"I'll pay you." He had offered.  She stood looking at him, her brown eyes filling with pain, but he didn't stop.  He had to throw one more barb.  He knew he was acting like a child but damn it if he wasn't going to get any he wanted to make sure she was miserable too.  "Oh wait." He chuckled.  "I'm already paying you.  I want to make sure I'm getting my money's worth." 

Rachel gasped and the reality of what he'd just said to her filtered through his foggy brain-bitter regret filling him.  But before he could apologize, she drew her hand back and slapped him-hard-the sound of her hand against his cheek reverberating in the quiet room. 

"Damn you, JC Chasez!" She swore as her tears came then turned and fled the room.

What had he done?  He covered his face with his hands as remorse filled him.  He'd used the information she'd given him about being a fan and idolizing him against her.  He'd played on her weaknesses and manipulated her feelings so she'd give into him.  When his tactics hadn't worked he taken the final step over the line and said things to her that he never would have dreamed of saying to her when he was sober.  She'd confessed to him that she'd been hurt in the past and he'd promised her he'd be patient and wait till she was ready.  He'd promised her and what had he done?  He'd gotten drunk because he was feeling sorry for himself and had immediately proceeded to pressure her into sleeping with him.  He'd taken their relationship and cheapened it to such a degree that he didn't know how he was ever going to make it up to her; how he was ever going to convince her that he hadn't meant what he'd said. 

"Damn it!" He swore and tugged at his hair.  He put his hand against his chest in an attempt to ease the ache there.  He'd blown it.  She'd been the best thing to ever happen to him and he'd blown it all by being stupid and selfish and acting like a child. 

He had to talk to her.  He had to try and explain.  He had to apologize-beg on his hands and knees for her forgiveness.  But would she listen to him?  One night of drunken stupidity had shattered the fragile trust she'd given him.  Could he pick up the pieces?  Could he mend what he'd so carelessly broken?  He didn't have a choice.  He had to try.

He loved her.

~~~~~~

Eight hours. 

Four hundred eighty minutes. 

Twenty-eight thousand eight hundred seconds. 

However she looked at it Rachel wanted to die.  It had been eight hours since JC had completely torn apart her world.  Four hundred eighty minutes since she'd slapped him and ran away.  His hurtful words had been echoing in her head for twenty-eight thousand eight hundred seconds. 

She wanted to throw up.

Why had she trusted him?  Why had she let herself get so involved?  Why had she let her guard down?  Deep down she'd known he would one day break her heart and he had.  She had given him so much of herself that she felt like a huge part of her soul was missing.  She had been okay before she'd met him.  She'd been strong and independent.  She'd been fine.  But when she met him-started spending time with him, began opening her heart to him-she'd realized she hadn't been fine.  She'd realized that she'd been missing a part of herself and that he was that other part.  They had fit so perfectly together.  But now that part had been taken away and with it so many feelings and emotions and memories that Rachel didn't know how she was ever going to be able to put herself back together and have any semblance of a normal life again.   

So here she sat-her car stopped at the curb as she looked out over the familiar neighborhood that she'd grown up in.  Finally, she somehow mustered the strength to get out of the car and walk up to the front door of the house.  She knocked and waited-biting her lip as she fought back the endless tears that had been falling since leaving JC early this morning. 

"Rachel?"

Tears fell as she heard his familiar voice and saw her father standing in the doorway.  "Daddy." She sobbed throwing her arms around his neck and burying her head against his chest.

"Rachel?  Honey, what's the matter?" He said, standing in the doorway with his arms around her while she cried.  She couldn't answer; she just clung to him, painful sobs wracking her body.  "It's okay." He soothed, taking a step back and closing the front door.  "It's okay.  I'm here."  He said as he put his arms around her and held her, rocking back and forth gently.  "What happened?" He asked, as her tears began to quiet.  "Are you hurt?  Did someone die?  What's going on?" He questioned, the confusion and concern he was feeling evident in his voice.

"I...I...I just...can I stay here for a few days?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Of course." He answered, putting a hand to her cheek.  "You're always welcome."

"Are you sure?" She asked.  "What about...what about Sherry?" She asked, in reference to her stepmother.  It was no secret that the two women disliked each other.  Rachel had been bitter and hateful towards the woman whom her father had decided to marry after her mother had died.  She'd even refused to talk to her father for about six months after he'd married Sherry and Rachel still felt a lot of resentment in regards to the whole situation, but that didn't matter right now. 

"She's out of town this week on a business trip." Her father answered.  Relief flooded her.  She really didn't need to deal with her stepmother right now.  Rachel felt her bottom lip tremble and she once more placed her head against her father's chest, her bruised heart soaking in the comfort he was offering though it was a poor substitute for the arms she really wanted around her.  But that right there was the problem.  The arms she wanted-the arms she needed-belonged to the one person she couldn't go to.  They belonged to the man who'd broken her heart.

~~~~~~

Megan knocked softly on Rachel's bedroom door Monday morning, a strong sense of déjà vu enveloping her.  How many times had she been in this house?  How many times had she walked down this hallway?  How many times had she knocked on this door? 

When Paul Kline had called her this morning Megan had been surprised.  The last time she'd seen or spoken with Rachel's father had been more than a year ago-before she'd gotten married and Rachel had moved to California.  But as soon as he had told her the reason for calling Megan had gotten in her car-after calling in sick at work-and driven the twenty minutes that separated her and Jackson's house from the neighborhood she'd grown up in.  She'd knocked on the front door of Rachel's childhood home, like she'd done thousands of times in the past and Rachel's father let her in just like old times-but the worried look on his face let her know this wasn't like old times. 

When Rachel refused to open her door, Megan quietly turned the handle and peeked into the familiar bedroom.  A slow, melancholy song was coming from the CD player on the dresser and Megan's heart broke as she listened to the words being sung and turned to see Rachel curled up on the floor in the corner, sobbing quietly.

Goodbye, my almost lover.
Goodbye, my hopeless dream.
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you.
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

Megan awkwardly lowered herself to the floor beside Rachel-her ever expanding middle making the descent a lot more difficult than it should have been-and put her hand on her best friend's shoulder.  Without a word Rachel immediately turned and fell into Megan's arms as the song continued.

I cannot go to the ocean.
I cannot drive the streets at night.
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind.
So you're gone and I'm haunted.
And I bet you are just fine.
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

 This is a depressing song.  Megan thought when the song ended and began again a few seconds later.  No wonder she's bawling her eyes out.  She wondered how long Rachel had been in here crying and how long she'd had this song on repeat.

"I loved him." Rachel finally said quietly.  "Why?" She cried.  "Why did he say those things to me?  How could he hurt me like that?"

"I don't know." Megan replied quietly.  "He had us all fooled, sweetie." 

~~~~~~

"Rachel if you're there, please pick up." JC leaned his forehead against the wall as the phone remained quiet.  He'd spent the last twenty-four hours trying to call her, but to no avail.  She refused to pick up the phone and the only thing he'd accomplished was to fill up her voicemail inbox on her cell phone.  He'd gotten her home number off the internet an hour ago and had already left several messages.  "Rachel?" He asked again, hoping she was there, praying she'd pick up.  "I'm sorry." He said.  "I am so sorr--"

The machine cut him off and he closed his eyes as he clenched his hand around his phone.  "Damn it!" He swore turning and throwing his cell phone across the room.  Luckily it landed on the couch instead of the wall he'd been aiming at.  He really didn't need to deal with having to buy a new cell phone right now.  Turning he pushed his hands through his hair and slid down the wall, his elbows coming to rest on his knees.  "Don't mess this one up, C." Justin's voice from a few weeks ago echoed through his head.  "You'll regret it."  He reached up and wiped away the tear that had fallen down his cheek.  He looked at the moisture on his finger as if he didn't know what it was. 

It had been a long time since he'd cried about something and an even longer time since that something had been a girl.  That's it.  He decided, suddenly standing.  She couldn't hide from him forever.  He knew where she lived and he knew where she worked.  He looked at his watch.  Ten o'clock.  She's gotta be at work.  He thought as he grabbed his car keys.  She's not going to be able to ignore me if I show up at her office.

~~~~~~

"She's not here?" He asked, looking at the receptionist in shock. 

"No, I'm sorry." The girl replied, smiling politely at him. 

"Where is she?" He asked, desperation filling him.

"She didn't come in today."  She answered.

"She left."

He turned at the unfamiliar voice behind him.  He watched as the brunette walked towards him, her curly brown hair and green eyes looked familiar.  "I'm Nicole." She said, smiling and holding out a hand.  "We met at the club a few weeks ago." 

He shook her hand.  "I'm sorry did you say Rachel left?" He asked.  He had no time for small talk with the girl.

"Yeah." Nicole nodded.  "She went home."

"I've been calling her since yesterday and she's not answering.  Are you sure she's at home?"

"No, she went home." Nicole repeated.  "To Phoenix." She clarified.

"Phoenix?" He asked, confused.  Nicole nodded.  "Do you...is she coming back?" He asked.  Nicole shrugged her shoulders.

"I think so, but I don't know when.  Her grandmother died over the weekend."

JC hung his head as he leaned against the front desk.  Her grandmother had died?  On top of everything, her grandmother had died?!  He felt like such a scumbag.  On top of acting like a spoiled brat and taking out all his insecurities on her-treating her like she meant nothing to him-she then had had to deal with her grandmother dying?

"Erin is taking over her clients right now." Nicole continued as he closed his eyes.  He wanted to cry.  "If it's something about your house you can talk to her.  Do you want me to go get her?"

"No." JC shook his head as he straightened.  "No."  He turned and walked out of the lobby.  So much for showing up at her office and making her listen to him.  How in the world was he going to find her in Phoenix?  Megan.  He thought.  Megan will know where she is. Hell, she's probably at Megan's house.  He pulled his phone from his pocket as he quickly made his way to his car and pulled out of the parking lot. 

"Sarah." He said when his assistant answered.  "I need an address.  Do you think you could look it up for me right now?"

"Sure.  What are you looking for?"

"I need you to look up a Jackson and Megan Taylor in Phoenix."

"Phoenix?" She questioned. 

"Yeah." He answered, getting on the freeway and heading towards LAX. 

"Got it." Sarah said a moment later.  "Ready?"

"No, I'm driving right now.  Can you send me a text?" He asked.

"Sure.  Where are you?"

"I'm going to the airport."

"Why?" She questioned slowly.

"Because I'm an asshole." He admitted.

"You don't need to go to the airport to figure that out." She laughed teasingly.  "I could have just told you."

"I..." he sighed.  "Rachel's not very happy with me right now and I need to fix a couple things."

"Ah." Sarah replied.  "Good luck." She offered.  "I'll send you the address."

"Thanks.  You're a life saver."

Arriving at the airport and pulling into long term parking JC locked his car and sprinted towards the terminal.  He quickly made his way inside the airport and up to the nearest counter, pulling out his wallet and slapping down his credit card as the startled Delta employee looked up at him.

"I need to get to Phoenix." He said.  "When's the next flight?"

"Uh..." The older woman looked at him.  "Just a moment, sir.  Let me check."

She looked down at the screen in front of her and began typing on her keyboard.  JC drummed his fingertips against the counter impatiently.  "Look, I'm really in a hurry." He said.  "I don't care what airline.  I don't care how much it is.  I just need to be on the next flight."

"I understand, sir.  I'm looking." She assured him patiently.  She continued typing for a few more seconds and he felt like screaming.  "Alright.  It looks like the next available flight is with United and it leaves..." she began typing again, "At twelve-thirty."

"Book it." He said.

"Do you have a seat preference?" She asked. 

"No." He replied feeling irritated.  Normally he would have been impressed with her calm demeanor-the way she was able to remain pleasant with an annoying customer but that was the last thing on his mind right now.  Hurry up! He wanted to shout at her.  He looked at his watch as she began typing again and reached for the credit card he'd laid on the counter.  He had just enough time to get through the ridiculous line at security and run to his gate. 

"Alright..." The lady said pushing one more button and handing his credit card back to him.  He put it back in his wallet and jammed the whole thing into its place in his back pocket.  "The flight is boarding at gate E-12." She said, stapling the ticket that had printed out to his boarding pass.

"Thank you." He said, grabbing the ticket from her before she'd had a chance to really hand it to him, and ran towards the security check point. 

~~~~~~

Megan stood at the sink peeling potatoes as her anger bubbled inside.  How dare he!  She thought.  How dare he think he can just walk in to her life and use her like that!  Her grip tightened on the slippery potato in her hand as she ran it under the water and set it on the counter by the others she was preparing for dinner.  She shut off the water and grabbed a knife from the drawer.  She began chopping the potatoes into little pieces so she could cook them in the water she had heating.  If he were here I'd...she stabbed one violently and growled out loud, though no one was there to hear her.  The baby moved however, in response to her agitated state and she took a few deep breaths as she tried to calm down.  Getting mad wouldn't do anything beyond making her even more upset and distressing the baby. 

"He's such an ass!" She exclaimed.

"What did I do this time?" Jackson asked with a teasing grin as he walked in right then.

"Huh?" Megan turned around in surprise.  "What?"

"Who's an ass?" He asked, loosening his tie as he walked towards her.  He kissed her quickly and rubbed his hand across her belly. 

"JC." Megan answered, returning to the potatoes. 

"No.  Jackson." He reminded her with a chuckle.

"What?" She looked at him in confusion. 

"My name is Jackson." He said.

"I know who you are, idiot."

"What's going on?" Jackson asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Rachel's here."

"Rachel's here?" He repeated in confusion. 

"Yeah." Megan answered.

"Here as in, here in Phoenix or here as in, here at the house?" He took a step back towards the front room, thinking he'd somehow missed seeing Rachel on the couch or something.

"Here as in, here in town." Megan replied, dumping the rest of the potato pieces into the now boiling water and returning to the sink to rinse her hands off.  "She's staying at her dad's house for a few days."

"What does this have to do with JC?" Jackson asked, rolling up the sleeves of his dark blue dress shirt and washing his hands before helping her with dinner. 

"She's here because JC's an asshole." Megan repeated vehemently.

He lifted a curious brow as he looked at his wife.  "Why don't you start at the beginning, babe." He said, gingerly taking the knife from her as he saw the fury in her eyes.  

~~~~~~

JC took a deep breath and raised a slightly shaking hand, quickly knocking on the door in front of him.  He took a step back and shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited.  He heard someone inside fumbling with the lock and his heart leapt.  Please let her be here. He found himself praying. 

"You have got to be kidding me!  What the hell are you doing here?"

He winced at the venom in her voice as his blue eyes connected with an angry set of hazel eyes.  "Megan."  He said.

"You've got some nerve, buddy.  Who the hell do you think you are?  You better leave before I call the cops.  I don't care who you are.  I'll do it."

And with that she slammed the door in his face.  JC stood there, not really surprised at her outburst.  With as close as Rachel had told him the girls were he knew Megan had been told what had happened Saturday night, but he couldn't give up.  He had to talk to Rachel and Megan was his only connection to her.  He raised his fist again and knocked once more.  "Listen, Megan." He said as the door opened.  "I know you hate me, and I don't blame you but I...oh, hey Jackson." JC said when the person behind the door showed themselves.  He took a quick step back as Jackson stepped out on the front porch, his blue eyes blazing.  JC held up his hands in surrender as panic shot through him.  He still vividly recalled Jackson's threat from last month-which was why he'd come to the house hoping to just catch Megan at home as opposed to calling the guy up and getting Rachel's contact information.  "I--"

"I warned you." Jackson said calmly, belying the fire in his eyes and the fist clenched at his side.  He softly closed the door behind him and JC took another step back-suddenly grateful they had a nice big front porch.

"Listen," JC said, "I know Megan's probably told you what happened, but I didn't--" 

Jackson's fist cut him off.  JC stumbled back at the blow and raised the back of his hand to his bottom lip.  Lowering his hand he looked at the blood he'd wiped off then looked back at Jackson. 

"I deserved that." He conceded, as he once more brought his hand to his mouth, and wiped away some more blood.  "But you don't understand.  This has just been a big misunderstanding."

"Did you offer to pay Rachel to sleep with you?"

"Yes." JC answered hesitantly, keeping a close watch on the other guy's hands still clenched at his sides.  "But I didn't--"

"Then I think we're clear on what happened." Jackson said.  "You've got about two seconds to get off my property before I call the cops." He said turning and placing his hand on the doorknob.

"Wait." JC said, feeling desperate.  "Please, you don't understand.  I need to see Rachel.  I need to talk to her.  I need to explain what happened."

"And what happened, JC?" He asked turning and folding his arms across his chest. 

"I got drunk." JC said.  "I was feeling sorry for myself and I said some things I shouldn't have.  But I didn't mean them.  I need to apologize but I can't do that because I don't know where she is and she won't answer her phone.  I...ugh!" He growled in frustration.  "I need to see her.  Please." He looked at Jackson.  "I love her." He added quietly.

~~~~~~

"What the hell is he still doing here?" Megan exclaimed as Jackson came back into the house a few minutes later-JC close behind him.  The penitent look in JC's eyes did nothing to cool Megan's anger, if anything it just fanned it more. 

"Megan, calm down." Jackson said, calmly.  "Think of the baby."

"Oh, the baby is the least of my worries right now." She fumed.

"He says it's all been a misunderstanding and I...I believe him."

"Of course you do." Megan rolled her eyes.  Why do guys always have to stick together?

"Remember our little misunderstanding a few years ago?" Jackson asked.

Megan narrowed her eyes at her husband then turned her attention back to JC.  "What the hell is your problem?" She asked, pointing a finger at him as she walked towards him.  At any other time she would have been ecstatic that the one and only JC Chasez was standing in her living room, but right now the only thing Megan wanted to do was beat him up.  "Do you have any idea what you've done?  I have worked too long and too hard to keep her alive to have some spoiled, washed up, arrogant pop star waltz in and ruin everything!"

"Megan." Jackson said, stepping between his wife and the source of her anger. 

"Jackson, you better back off or so help me..." She left the threat open and he put his hands up in surrender as he stepped away.

"Do you realize what you've done?" Megan asked, coming to stand in front of JC.  "Do you have idea how much pain you've caused her?  What you're putting her through because of your selfish actions?"

"Look," JC said.  "What happened on Saturday shouldn't have happened.  But it did and I'm trying to apologize to her but I can't find her.  I've been calling and leaving messages for two days now."

"You don't get it, do you?" Megan asked, folding her arms across her chest as she looked at him in amazement.  He had no idea what was really going on-the pain Rachel was going through right now.  You didn't tell him, did you Ray? She thought.   

"Get what?" He asked in confusion.  "What don't I get?"

"The reason Rachel left." Megan answered as she squared her shoulders.  He just stood there looking at her blankly.

"She left because I was an idiot and said a lot of things I shouldn't have."

"She left," Megan said taking another step towards him as he took a step back, "Because everyone she has let into her life and into her heart has hurt her.  She's learned that with love comes pain and she can't take anymore.  Rachel puts up a strong, sassy, independent front but inside she's scared, and hurt.  She's seeking for love and acceptance so badly that she keeps getting herself into situations where she just ends up getting hurt even more." JC winced and Megan watched as he sank down on the couch, his blue eyes full of regret.  He sat there with his head bowed as she continued.  "She's such an amazing person.  If you knew what she's been though...and somehow, despite everything, she still has the ability to smile everyday.  But..." Megan shook her head and fought back tears.  "I have never-never-seen her like she was today."  JC looked up at her, his own eyes looking suspiciously wet.  "Whether you deserved it or not she trusted you-which is a huge thing for her-and all you did was throw it back in her face and knock her down again.  She's been knocked down so many times that I'm not sure she has the strength to get back up again."

JC hung his head and Megan heard him sniff a few times before he looked back up at her.  "What happened?  What has she been through?"

"That's not my story to tell." Megan answered.

"Will you tell me where she is?" He asked, his eyes pleading with her.  "Please.  I need to see her to tell her how sorry I am.  I need to look her in the eyes and apologize for what I did."  Megan folded her arms as she stood looking at him for a moment then she turned and walked into the kitchen.  Grabbing a post it note from by the phone she quickly jotted down Rachel's dad's address then walked back into the front room. 

"She's staying at her dad's house." She said, handing him the sticky note.  "I wouldn't advise going by tonight."

"Why?" He asked, standing.

"Because her dad might kill you." Megan answered matter of factly.  He nodded then turned towards the door.  Reaching for the door knob he stopped.

"For what it's worth." He said quietly, turning back to look at her.  "I know she's amazing.  She's incredible and I...I love her."

Megan raised one brow as she stood looking at him.  "You're going to have a hell of a time convincing her of that after what you've done."

"Can't." Rachel replied as she stood in front of her mirror and twisted her hair up-securing it with a few clips.  "I'm going out with Brian tonight." She grinned excitedly and Megan smiled. 

"Where're you guys going?" Megan asked, picking up a tube of lipstick sitting on Rachel's dresser and putting some on.  She puckered her lips as she looked at herself in the mirror.  "Ooh...I like this color." She commented, looking at the name on the bottom of the tube.

"We're going to some party at one of his friend's houses." Rachel said.  "Wanna come?"

"No thanks." Megan replied.

"You still don't like Brian do you?" Rachel asked, turning to look at her friend.  Megan shook her head.  "Why not?"

"I don't know." Megan shrugged.  "There's just...something about the guy I don't like.  I can't pinpoint what it is.  I'm sorry."

Rachel looked at Megan for a few seconds.  Was there something Megan knew about Brian that she didn't?  Megan had always been the more intuitive of the two of them.  But, Brian was a nice guy.  He made her laugh and was fun to hang out with and wasn't a half bad kisser.  So what if he tended to drink a little too much whenever they went out and that his friends were kind of rough around the edges.  "How do I look?" Rachel asked, turning in front of Megan.

"Hot." Megan responded with a smile.  Both girls turned when a knock came at the front door. 

"Don't wait up for me." Rachel smiled brightly as she grabbed her cell phone and walked out of her room.

She should have stayed home that night and gone to the movies with Megan. 

Rachel rolled over onto her side and curled up in the fetal position, hugging the covers close.  Why hadn't she just stayed home that night?  Why hadn't she listened to Megan when she had said Brian was bad news?  Why did she let herself get into these kinds of situations? 

Rachel looked at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table.  Ten o'clock.  She knew she should get up, but had no desire to.  She'd been lying here awake since six o'clock, her mind replaying every interaction she'd had with JC.  Every smile, every conversation, every laugh: each one breaking off another piece of her heart until she found it difficult to breathe.  With her heart broken her guard was lowered so other memories started filtering in...memories she wanted to be free from but couldn't seem to escape. 

"You owe me."

Rachel heard Brian's voice in her head and shuddered.  Throwing off the covers she finally got out of bed.  Rubbing her hands up and down her arms she tried to get rid of the chill she felt.  If only my therapist could see me know.  She thought sarcastically as she shuffled out of her bedroom.   "Dad?" She called out, but was met by only silence.  She wandered down the hall, her stomach growling and her head pounding.  She'd spent the majority of the day yesterday in tears-not to mention all day Sunday-and had finally fallen into a fitful sleep around nine.  As she walked into the family room she caught her reflection in the mirror hung above the couch and grimaced.  "Good thing no one's home." She murmured.  She adjusted the extra large sweatshirt of her father's that she'd been wearing since Sunday evening and gathered her hair in her hands, securing it up and back in a messy bun.  Walking into the kitchen she saw a note stuck to the fridge.

Rach-I'm at the office.  Call me if you need anything.  I can be home in twenty minutes.  I love you, Dad

She smiled and blinked back the tears that had been her constant companion for the last several days.  It was times like this that made her feel guilty for giving him such a hard time for marrying Sherry.  "Even if she is a bitch." Rachel grumbled as she grabbed a bowl from the cupboard.  She didn't really feel like eating but knew she needed to. Opening the fridge and pouring some granola in her bowl Rachel added some milk then went back out to the family room and sunk down on the couch, turning on the television to kill the almost deafening silence of the house. 

Rachel took a few bites as she mindlessly watched one of the morning talk shows then, when she couldn't muster the motivation to eat anymore, placed the still mostly full bowl of cereal on the coffee table.  She drew her legs up beneath her and looked around the family room, trying to ignore the changes that had taken place over the years.  She closed her eyes and wished with all her might that she could somehow go back in time--back to when she had still been naïve to the realities of life; before she knew anything about heartache and pain.  Back to being seventeen and carefree.

Being seventeen had been great.  She spent her days with Megan, having fun in high school and dreaming about one day meeting the man of her dreams--JC Chasez, the boy who was beautiful and funny and perfect and could do no wrong--and her mother had still been alive.  Tears began to fill her eyes again as she thought about her mother, wishing--as she had a million times before--that she were still alive.  Rachel would give anything to have her here right now.  She needed her mom to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"Momma?" Seventeen year old Rachel inquired softly as she entered the hospital room her mother had been in for the last two weeks.  She tried to ignore the sterile smell that invaded her senses, and the constant beeping and whooshing of the machines her mother was hooked to.  She stepped up to the bed and took hold of her mother's hand, watching as the brown eyes she'd inherited opened and looked up at her.

"Rachel." Christine Kline whispered hoarsely and Rachel lost the battle she'd been waging against her emotions when she saw her small smile.  She lifted her other hand to her face and wiped away the tears that fell.  "Come here." Christine said, weakly patting the side of the bed.  Rachel let go of her mother's hand and, kicking off her shoes, gingerly climbed up on the bed and cuddled up against her mother's side like she'd done her whole life whenever she was scared or upset.  "Don't cry, baby." Christine soothed as she brought her hand up and brushed the hair from Rachel's face.  "Don't cry."

"I don't want you to go, Momma." Rachel sobbed.  "I still need you."

"I know, baby." Christine replied.  "I don't want to leave you or your father, but we can't always choose what happens to us in life.  You're going to be just fine though, I know it."

"No, I'm not." Rachel replied, her tears still falling.

"Yes, you are." Her mother insisted, still running her hand over Rachel's hair.

"How do you know?" Rachel asked, quietly.

"Because I'm your mother." Christine answered with a quiet laugh.  "I know everything, remember?"  Rachel chuckled as another tear escaped.  "And I'll be watching to make sure.  You're going to have a long and healthy life full of love and laughter.  You're going to have lots of adventures with Megan and maybe even meet that singer you two are ‘so in love with'." Rachel laughed through her tears as her mother continued.  "And one day you're going to meet a man who's going to capture your heart, sweep you off your feet and give you beautiful babies."  Both women were quiet for a moment.

"Promise?" Rachel asked.

"I promise." Her mother said.  "I'll always be with you Rachel.  I'll be there at your graduations, I'll be there when you get married, and I'll be there when you're rocking your own babies to sleep at night while you tell them about their Grandma in heaven who loves them and is going to be their guardian angel.  And I'll be there for the sad times as well, baby.  When your heart gets broken and you feel like the world has ended, I want you to promise me one thing, Rachel." Christine said.

"What?"

"Promise me, that no matter what happens, you won't give up on love." Rachel was quiet as she furrowed her brows in confusion.  Out of all the things her mother could have made her promise she didn't want her to give up on love?  "Life can be rough sometimes." Christine continued.  "And bumps in the road may come.  Your heart may be bruised and broken a few times, but promise me you won't give up on love."

"I promise." Rachel pledged.

"I don't know if I can keep my promise, Momma." Rachel said quietly as she hugged her knees to her chest and put her head down, a sense of failure washing over her.  "It's not worth it.  It hurts too much."  Rachel lost track of the time as her tears continued falling--her mother's words echoing in her head.  "One day you'll meet a man who will capture your heart and sweep you off your feet..."  JC had indeed captured her heart and Rachel had been swept up in the fantasy of loving him.  But it had all been an illusion.  If he'd meant anything he'd told her he wouldn't have said the things he had said Saturday night.  It didn't matter that he'd been drunk.  Yes being drunk lowered a person's inhibitions, but the thoughts had to have been in his head for him to have voiced them.  She had been fooled into believing that he was everything she'd ever dreamed he'd be--charming and sweet, funny and romantic--but it had all been a lie.  He hadn't meant any of it.

He had called her--multiple times--since she'd left Saturday night.  He'd left several messages on her cell phone but Rachel had erased them all without listening to them.  She couldn't do it.  She didn't want to hear his pathetic excuses.  She didn't want to hear his voice.  She knew it would just make it harder.  He...

Rachel lifted her head when the doorbell rang.  She didn't want to answer it.  She looked and felt like crap and, assuming it was the UPS guy she put her head back down.   When it rang again and whoever it was knocked several times she sniffed and, using the sleeve of the sweatshirt, wiped the tears from her face as she walked towards the front door.  "Just leave the damn package!" She exclaimed as she unlocked the door and pulled it open. 

Her jaw dropped and her heart stopped when she saw who was on the other side of the door.  She forgot how to breathe as her eyes connected with his, her heart aching as she took in his haggard appearance.  He looked as bad as she felt--like he hadn't slept in days.  He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say a word Rachel slammed the door in his face.  Leaning back against it she placed a hand to her chest, her breath came in shallow gasps as the pain in her heart intensified.  How did he find me?  She thought.  How the hell did he know I'd be here?  The door vibrated against her as he knocked again. 

"Rachel?" She heard him call through the door and she closed her eyes as the familiarity of his voice caused her almost physical pain.  "Rachel, please..." He plead.  She could hear the desperation in his voice and it made the pain she was feeling worse.  She straightened as he knocked a few more times and she finally yanked open the door, prepared to tell him exactly where to go, but she was startled when he pushed the door open and quickly stepped inside before she could shut him out again.

As one arm wrapped around her waist his other hand moved to the back of her head as he lowered his head and captured her mouth with his in a heated and driven kiss.  Rachel tried not to respond to him, but her wounded heart cried out for the comfort only he was able to give her.  She felt herself giving in and her anger returned.  No!  She thought.  No, I hate you!  Finally he pulled back, releasing her mouth as he struggled for breath and she slapped him--the sharp crack of her hand against his face was both a satisfying and sickening sound. 

~~~~~ 

"Feel better?" JC asked, his chest heaving as he stood with his arms still around her.

"No." Rachel responded vehemently.  "But let me try again.  Maybe then I will.  What are you doing here?" She asked, her eyes blazing.  "How did you find me?  Let me go!" She struggled against him but he wouldn't let her go.

"You know, if you're going to be my girlfriend, we're going to have to work on getting your information unlisted.  I don't like knowing that just anybody can find you."

"Girlfriend?" Rachel scoffed as she continued struggling to get out of his grasp.  "That's funny.  I thought I was just your drunken booty call."

"Would you stop it!" He insisted, tightening his arms around her in an attempt to get her to calm down.  "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Rachel asked.  "Calm down?!  You have some nerve." She said looking at him. "Showing your face here.  I'm so angry I could..."

"What?" He asked when she hesitated.  "You're so angry you could what?"

"Let me go!" She began struggling again.  "I'm going to call the cops." She threatened. 

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" He asked.

Rachel managed to get one of her arms free but JC knew exactly what she was going to do.  Before she could slap him again he reached out and grabbed her wrist while he pushed her back against the wall, pinning her there with his body.

"Hitting me again isn't going to solve anything." He told her. 

"Sure it will." Rachel glared at him.  "It'll make me feel a hell of a lot better." She began squirming and he pressed even more of his weight against her.

"Damn it, Rachel!  Stop!" He yelled and she stilled.  "Just...stop." He said his face inches from her own.  "Stop." He repeated quietly, looking into her eyes.

"Why should I?" She asked the pain in her voice bringing him close to tears himself.  He hadn't slept for more than thirty hours.   He was exhausted--mentally, emotionally and physically--and the sight of her so broken made him want to throw up.  He'd left L.A. yesterday afternoon with nothing-his only thought being that he had to find her and now that he had he was faced with the daunting task of getting her to listen to him. 

"You didn't." She said quietly and his heart stopped, fear coursing through him.

"I didn't what?" He asked, his eyes widening slightly.  He'd never been this scared before in his life.  If she said what he thought she was going to say he wasn't sure his apology--no matter how sincere and heartfelt it was--would be enough.

"Stop." She said, refusing to look at him.  "You didn't stop."

"Rachel..." He swallowed the lump suddenly in his throat.  "Rachel did I...did we..."  Damn it!  Why couldn't he remember if he'd stopped when she'd told him to?

"What?" She asked, finally looking up at him, her beautiful eyes full of such hatred and contempt that he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

"Did we sleep together?" He asked.  She continued looking at him as her eyes filled with tears--the hatred giving way to pain. 

"You don't remember?" She asked, her bottom lip trembling.  He felt about two inches tall at the moment.   "If we had slept together and you hadn't remembered it would have killed me." Her admission of last month came back to him and he kicked himself.  He'd never prayed harder in his life for a black hole to suddenly appear and swallow him up.  He shook his head, unable to say the words.

"No." She finally said. 

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm sure!"  She spat angrily.  "I left when you offered to pay me.  I may be a fan, as you were so quick to point out, but I am not a whore.  I'm not someone you can use at your whim, JC.  No matter who you are or what you think you can get away with in life I deserve better than that so forgive me for not being very happy to see you right now."

"We need to talk." He said, slowly releasing her arm and stepping away from her.  Rachel rubbed the wrist he'd been holding on to so tightly and stood looking at him. 

"What do we need to talk about?" She asked.  "I think you've made your feelings perfectly clear."

"It's time to clear up some things--get some things out in the open.  No more hiding.  No more secrets.  Just you, me and the truth."

"I'm not sure you can handle the truth." Rachel responded, folding her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"Try me." He repeated, equally as stubborn.  Damn it, he loved her!  His heart ached for her after what Megan had told him.  He needed her and he was going to fight his hardest to make sure she stayed in his life and if that meant getting down and dirty and baring his soul to her then so be it!

~~~~~~

Rachel sat on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest as she watched JC pace around the family room.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes followed his restless movements.  It was strange.  She still felt an almost overwhelming sense of anger towards him yet underneath it all she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and beg him to kiss her like he had in the entryway.  Her stomach flipped and her lips tingled as she recalled the desperate and passionate way he'd kissed her moments ago.  And when he'd pressed her up against the wall...she closed her eyes and sighed.  Stop it! She scolded herself.  This is why you keep getting in these situations.  You let your heart take over your common sense.  When are you going to wise up and realize that your heart has no idea what it's doing?

"I, uh..." JC began then cleared his throat.  Rachel lowered her eyes.  She couldn't stand looking at his tortured expression anymore.  "I've come to a few realizations over the last couple days." He said.

"Such as?" She questioned when he remained quiet.

"Such as...you should never anger an already upset, pregnant best friend or her husband."  Rachel watched as he unconsciously touched his bottom lip, bringing her attention to the fact that his lip was split.  Had Jackson hit him?  For a brief moment she wanted to tear into Jackson for hurting JC, but then remembered the fact that she was supposed to be mad at JC, not Jackson, right now.

"I've also realized," He continued, "That I shouldn't drink when I'm upset because I say and do things--stupid things--that I would never dream of saying or doing otherwise."

He came and sat down on the coffee table in front of her as he looked at her.  "I am so sorry, Rachel." He said as he leaned towards her.  "Please, believe me.  I have been sick over what I said to you.   Please--"

"You promised." Rachel finally spoke, cutting him off.  "You promised you wouldn't push me.  You made me believe you really cared about me and then--"

"I do care about you." JC interrupted her as he leaned towards her.  Rachel shied away from him.  "And I meant what I told you before."   

"I don't know what to believe anymore." She told him honestly.  JC nodded as he hung his head.  "You were everything I dreamed you were." She told him.  He lifted his head slowly, his eyes connecting with hers.  "You were smart and funny.  You were easy to talk to and get along with.  You were becoming more than just the pop star I've idolized for so many years.  You were caring and compassionate.  You were sweet and charming and when you kissed me..." Rachel swallowed her emotion back and blinked several times.  Damn it!  She thought.  Why can't I stop crying?  "But then you wouldn't listen to me.  You wouldn't stop.  You just kept pushing and pushing.  Why?" She asked looking at him as her tears fell.  "Why?"

JC sat looking at her silently for a minute then took a deep breath.  "Do you know what its like," he asked. "To have something you've worked for your entire life just end?  Do you know what's it like to have your dreams constantly pushed aside, looked over and forgotten about?  Do you know what's like to watch while someone else--someone you've watched grow up and who's become one of your best friends--get the spotlight every time and be handed the life you've always wanted on a silver platter leaving you to wonder why you aren't good enough?  Do you know what it's like to constantly have to live in someone else's shadow?" He sighed and hung his head.  "I'm not trying to justify my actions Saturday night, because they can't be justified.  But there are some things I need to tell you.  Some things I need to explain."

~~~~~

"They want me to do a solo album."

JC's head shot up as Justin's news sank in.  "A...a solo album?" JC asked. 

"Yeah!" Justin grinned excitedly. "Isn't that great?"

"Wow.  Yeah, that-that's great." JC responded, trying to hide the disappointment flooding him, but really it wasn't that much of a shock.  Justin had been the poster boy for N SYNC almost since the beginning-more often than not the featured soloist and the one everyone wanted to talk to-though he couldn't figure out exactly why.  What was it about Justin that made him so special?  "What about..." JC paused.  "I thought we had talked about going to go back into the studio after this tour." He said hoping to come across as nonchalant though he was anything but.

"We will." Justin said.  "I just...I really want to give this a try C.  This is what I've been dreaming of."

Me too. JC thought.  Me too.

"We never went back into the studio." JC said.  "But you know that." 

"Yeah, but you released your own album." Rachel said.  He lifted a brow as he looked at her.

"We kept up the appearance of still being together but in actuality, when Justin left that was it.  We avoided the topic when it came up in interviews and gave vague answers when we couldn't avoid it.  We did the charity ball game for a couple more years and released a greatest hits album as a cop out when everyone kept asking for another CD.  Everyone kept saying I should do my own album, so I did.  I think it would have done okay if..."

"If?" Rachel asked watching the emotions playing in his eyes. 

"You remember Justin and Janet's ‘wardrobe malfunction' right?" He asked sounding bitter.  Rachel nodded.

"Your show the next week got cancelled because of it." She replied.

"Yeah." He sighed as he rolled his eyes.  "Story of my life." He said.  "Don't get me wrong." He looked at her again.  "Justin is one of my closest friends but..." He paused.

"But?" Rachel prompted him. 

JC shook his head.  "I don't know.  It was like...when I went to Orlando for Chris' Halloween party and we were all together again...it was fun, but it was the first time that it really hit me that it was...over.  I was talking to you that night and you asked me why I still had my house there and it really made me think.  Why did I still have a house there?"

"Nostalgia." Rachel said reminding him of the answer he'd given her.

"No." He shook his head and she narrowed her eyes.  "I mean yes, that's what I told you but that's not the real reason."

"What's the real reason?" Rachel questioned.

"I was scared."

"Of your house?"

"Of selling my house."  He finally admitted. 

"Why?" She asked.

"Because...because selling the house felt like I was selling out on my dreams.  It was the last piece I was holding onto because I didn't want to admit to myself that everything was over."

Rachel sat watching JC, her anger cooling some.  She was a little taken back at what she was hearing.  She felt sorry for him--he'd been carrying around this pain for a long time, trying to put on a positive front for everyone while inside he was falling apart.  As he'd said, there was no justification for what he'd said to her but that didn't stop her from wanting to just wrap her arms around him.  He looked so lost sitting there and something in her knew that although it was going to take a while--forever maybe--before she could trust him again, he was still someone she cared deeply about and it made her sad to see him so unhappy. 

"I started drinking when I got home Saturday evening and I got angry as I thought about how my life had turned out.  Here I am, surrounded by all the awards and accomplishments I've gotten over the years but it suddenly wasn't enough.  None of that was for me.  I've lived the past ten years in Justin's shadow.  I can't go anywhere without the conversation eventually turning to him.  I can't do anything without being compared to him." He put his hand to his chest.  "I just want something that's mine--something I can really be proud of.  But what do I have?  I'm thirty-two years old.  I live by myself.  My last long term relationship was a joke because I was the rebound guy after she got divorced.  Sure I have an album out there, but it was pretty much forgotten about as soon as it came out.  I have another album that's been sitting on the shelf now for almost three years because no one wants to put up the money to release it.  With Justin's album still high on the charts, who would buy mine?"

I would. Rachel wanted to say, but knew he didn't want to hear it.  She could tell he just needed someone to listen to him while he got everything off his chest.

"I called you that night because I knew you'd come over.  I wanted you to come over.  The alcohol in my system and the anger and disappointment I was feeling wasn't a good combination.  I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't stop and I'm sorry.  Rachel, it wasn't about sex that night--whatever you may think and whatever I may have said.  I was feeling insecure about a lot of things but then I realized there was one person who seemed to like me regardless of how pathetic my life had turned out.  There was one person who made me feel like I was on top of the world whenever we were together; one person who wasn't constantly comparing me to someone else and could turn my day around with just a smile."  His eyes connected with hers and he leaned towards her more.  Rachel's heart flipped in her chest.  "You."  He said.  "I needed you.  I needed to see your smile.  I needed to hear your voice and know that there was someone out there who liked me."  He put a hand to his chest.  "Just me.  But then, I used the things you told me to my advantage." He looked at her in amazement.  "I don't know how you did it, but you walked away from me...again."

"I almost didn't." She told him quietly. He said nothing, just looked at her in surprise.  "I was this close," she held up her thumb and forefinger, "from giving in to you.  I don't think you understand just how...seductive you can be." She cocked her head to the side.  "Or maybe you do." She added thoughtfully.  "You do write songs about it after all." She said, her eyes watching his as they filled with regret.  "I almost stayed but I knew, no matter how much I wanted it, I'd regret it in the morning and apparently," she thought back to what he'd said in the entryway earlier, "You wouldn't have remembered it at all."

He winced and closed his eyes.  "I'm sorry I hurt you." He said looking back at her. "I know you've been hurt in the past and what I did is maybe unforgivable but I want you to know how truly sorry I am that I treated you the way I did.  I didn't mean it and if it takes me the rest of my life to prove it to you then I will...if you'll let me."

Rachel sat looking into his eyes, tempted to believe the sincerity she saw there.  But she'd believed what he'd had told her and seen in his eyes before and look where it had gotten her.  "JC, I..." Rachel sighed.  "I...I'm going to need some time."  She looked down and began picking at the material of her sweatpants. 

"O-okay." He said then slowly stood.  Rachel put her legs down and watched as he walked past the couch dejectedly and back towards the front door.  He stopped and looked back at her.  "Before I go I need to make something clear.  It's been bothering me ever since you asked me." He said then was quiet.  Rachel began to wonder if he had changed his mind about whatever it was he wanted to tell her and then he said, "You are not just a fan to me."

Rachel suddenly had to blink back her tears and bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to hide its trembling.  He stood there for another second just looking at her then left.  Rachel closed her eyes as she heard him open and close the front door.  Falling over she curled up on her side on the couch and cried.  Megan's words of advice from a few weeks ago filtered through her head.   "People are going to hurt you and say things that they shouldn't.  It doesn't matter if it's your best friend, or your mother or your boyfriend.  You have to forgive them and move on or end the relationship.  There is no in-between."    

Could she forgive him?  Could she trust him again?  She wanted to, but she'd been hurt too many times in the past.  She didn't know if she had it in her to trust again.  She'd given her heart away so many times to then have it given back to her with pieces missing.  Even if she did forgive him and could trust him again, would he want her?  Would he want someone whose heart had been pieced back together so many times the pieces didn't quiet fit together anymore?  JC needed someone who could love him completely; someone who could give him her whole heart.  Rachel wasn't sure she could do that.  Even when things had been good between them she hadn't given him her whole heart--hadn't trusted him completely.  She'd kept a part back from him in fear that he'd do exactly what he'd done.  She didn't know if she'd ever be able to love someone the way she wanted to be loved--wholeheartedly.  How could you expect to receive what you weren't willing to give?

"Okay, seriously..." Megan stopped to take a bite of pizza Wednesday evening.  "Is Patrick Dempsey hot or what?" She sighed as she returned her attention to the movie the girls were watching.

"I'm going to have to go with hot." Rachel responded with a laugh, taking a sip of her strawberry soda.  Megan had shown up on her doorstep thirty minutes ago with a pizza in one hand and a copy of her favorite movie--Enchanted, a movie they'd both seen so many times they could quote the entire thing by heart--in the other.  Rachel had been surprised to see her, but after Megan had explained that Jackson usually went out with a couple guys he worked with on Wednesday night, she didn't feel so bad about spending the evening with her best friend.

Megan took another bite then stopped and suddenly put a hand to her stomach.

"What's the matter?" Rachel asked, concerned at the strange look on Megan's face.

"Give me your hand." Megan said, her eyes suddenly sparkling. 

"What?" Rachel asked with a chuckle.

"Your hand." Megan said, reaching for it.  "Give it to me."

Rachel held out her hand.  "What do you want my hand...for..." She stopped when Megan placed her hand against her belly and Rachel felt a series of quick little kicks coming from the baby. 

"He's saying hi." Megan's smile grew as Rachel kept her hand where Megan had placed it. 

"That's..."

"Pretty cool, huh?" Megan asked as she rubbed her own hand over her stomach. 

"There's really a baby in there." Rachel said in amazement.

"Of course there is." Megan replied.  "Did you think I was gaining all this weight just for the hell of it?" She chuckled.

"Smart ass." Rachel smirked.  "Have you guys thought of any names yet?" Rachel asked as the baby stilled and she removed her hand.

"A few." Megan said as she took another bite.

"Are you going to share?" Rachel asked.

"Nope.  It's going to be a surprise."

"Please?  You know I hate surprises."

Megan looked at her for a moment and Rachel stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.  "Okay, okay." Megan relented as she rolled here eyes. "But only because you're my best friend."  Rachel smiled.  "We want to use the name Scott, but we can't decide whether it should be the first or the middle name." Megan said, looking at her as if expecting Rachel to say something.

"Scott?" Rachel lifted a quizitive brow.  "You realize that's JC's middle name, right?"

"Yeah." Megan said.  "But it's also Jackson's father's name."

"I thought his dad's name was Terry." Rachel replied, confused.

"Terry's his step-dad.  His real dad died when he was ten, remember?  I told you this.  His dad was a firefighter and died on the job?"

"Oh right, right." Rachel said.  Then, "That's really sweet of you guys naming your baby after him but kind of weird too, I have to say."

"I know." Megan smiled.  "It was Jackson's idea.  As soon as we found out what we were having he asked me what I thought."

"What have you come up with to go along with it?" Rachel asked.

"Well, Jackson's middle name is Ryan, so we've thought of that one."

Rachel thought for a moment.  "Mmmm...maybe" She shrugged.

"I don't know." Megan confessed.  "We haven't been able to really decide on a middle name, so it just may be Scott Taylor.  What do you think?" Megan asked with a smile.

"It's simple, but I like it." Rachel answered as she drew her legs up beneath her and the girls went back to the movie.

"How're you doing?" Megan asked quietly a few minutes later.  Rachel shrugged, but kept her eyes glued to the screen in front of them. 

After JC had left yesterday and she'd finally stopped crying Rachel had called Megan on her lunch hour.  She was so confused.  Listening to him open up about things he was insecure and upset about had left her feeling conflicted.  She knew she should still be angry and upset at him, and she was.  But the more she thought about what he'd told her--the more she thought about the look in his eyes--the more she felt empathy for him.  She knew what it was like to have your dreams shattered.  She knew what it was like to have everyone around you get what you wanted and to feel like you were being left on the side of the road.  She knew what it was like to struggle with who you were.  But it wasn't enough just to feel sorry for him.  She needed him to prove himself.  

"He sent me flowers this morning."

"Really?" Megan asked, sounding surprised. 

"Yeah." Rachel replied. "They're over there on the table." She pointed towards the kitchen.

"Red and white tulips?" Megan asked.  One brow rose as she looked back at Rachel.

Rachel nodded.  "What?" She asked, confused at Megan's expression and the tone of her voice. 

"Okay, you're going to think I'm really weird and you're going to wonder how I know this but...I was surfing around the internet one day at work.  I came across this website that talked about the meaning behind certain kinds of flowers and how you could send a message to someone based on the specific ones you pick out."

"You think JC is trying to send me a message?" Rachel asked in disbelief, one eyebrow cocked.

Megan looked back over at the flowers then returned her gaze to Rachel.  "Maybe." She shrugged.  "It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"What do you think he was trying to tell you by giving you those songs on the Ipod for your birthday?"

Rachel sat looking at Megan as she thought about what she was saying.  "So, okay--what do you think he's trying to tell me?"

"Well...white tulips mean forgiveness--which makes sense.  He's trying to apologize and earn your forgiveness after being such a jerk last weekend."

"Okay, so what do the red ones mean?" Rachel asked.

"Love." Megan paused.  "Like roses."

Love? Rachel furrowed her brows.  Love?  "He..." she stopped as she looked at the flowers again, the beautiful blooms taking on a completely different meaning than before.  When they'd been delivered this morning she'd been surprised and touched at the gesture.  But now she was stunned.  Had he sent her these specific flowers on purpose, or was it just a coincidence?  Had they been the only ones the florist had had in stock, or had he specifically requested them? Was it possible...

"Was there a note?" Megan asked interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah." Rachel replied, still distracted by her racing thoughts. 

"What did it say?"

"Here." Rachel said, reaching toward the end table nearest her.  "You can read it."  She handed Megan the note that had come with the flowers.

"Ahem." Megan cleared her throat then began reading the words JC had penned aloud.  "'I wish I could go back in time.'  That's it?" Megan asked.

"That's it." Rachel nodded.

"Hmmm." Megan hummed.  "What are you thinking?" She asked when Rachel remained quiet.

"I'm thinking..." Rachel sighed and covered her eyes with her hand.  "I'm thinking how the hell did I end up in this situation?"  She looked over at Megan.  "Seriously, Megan!  How did I--plain old Rachel Kline, a nobody from Phoenix, Arizona--manage to not only meet the man of my dreams, but be given the chance to work with him on an almost daily basis and then somehow find myself in a romantic relationship with him?  How did this happen to me?  And why did I let myself become so attached when deep down I knew it was too good to be true?"

"Rach--"

"Don't patronize me right now, Megan." Rachel cut her off.  "You and I both know that a relationship between myself and JC Chasez would never have worked out."

"How do you know that?" Megan questioned.

"Because it was a fairy tale!" Rachel exclaimed.  "And fairy tales don't work in the real world."

"Yes they do." Megan responded.  "But only if you're willing to fight for it.  Rachel," Megan shifted so she was facing Rachel on the couch.  "Do you want this?  Do you want him?  Because I'm willing to bet, if you can muster up the courage to be completely honest with him," she paused and looked at Rachel pointedly.  "Completely honest with him, that you two can make this work."  Rachel was quiet as Megan continued.  "I'm the one who gave JC your dad's address." She admitted.

"What?!" Rachel's head shot up in surprise as she looked at her friend.  "I thought he just found it on the inter...he called you?"

"He came by the house." Megan answered.  "Monday night."  Rachel looked at her in shock.  "I was so mad when I saw him.  I'd just gotten home from being with you and I wanted to hit him for what he'd done to you."

"You hit him?!" Rachel was shocked.  "I assumed it was Jackson that hit him."

"It was." Megan answered.

"Jackson..."

"Rachel, Jackson loves you.  You're like his baby sister.  He's got a soft spot for you and he feels very protective over you."

Rachel smiled.  She'd always wanted an older brother growing up--someone she could look up to and idolize.  Someone who would protect her from the bullies at school and make sure she had a date to the prom. 

"He and JC talked out on the porch for a few minutes while I was inside fuming." Megan continued her story.  "When they both came into the house I cornered JC and started yelling at him.  Telling him exactly what I thought of him.  I wanted him to get defensive--to rattle off some lame ass excuse for what he'd done, but he didn't.  Instead he looked at me with those sad but still gorgeous blue eyes of his as he sat on my couch and told me how sorry he was for what he'd done and I...honey, I believed him.  I've never seen a man so broken up over his actions as JC was Monday night."  Megan shook her head in amazement.  "The pain in his eyes was almost tangible.  He looked terrible--and I've seen him in some terrible outfits over the years." Rachel chuckled even as she tried to blink back the tears that had come at Megan's observance of JC.  "I think..." Megan paused.   "I think those flowers he sent you say it all.  He loves you and he's sorry for what he's done."

"But he's said that before." Rachel answered.

"He's told you he loves you?!" Megan responded in surprise.

"No!" Rachel shook her head.  "No."

"Okay, good." Megan placed a hand to her chest and breathed in relief.  "I was going to have to hit you for keeping that information to yourself."

"Don't worry." Rachel assured her.  "I would have told you if that had happened."

"So, then I'm confused.  What has he told you before?"

"That he's sorry." Rachel answered.  "He's told me that before and I...I don't know if I can believe him again.  What if..." she paused, "I believed him before and look what happened."

"Do you love him?" Megan asked.

"I've loved him for years." Rachel answered.

"No." Megan shook her head.  "I know that you're in love with him, but do you love him?"  Rachel was silent as she pondered the question.  "Something to think about, huh?" Megan asked.  "I know it's scary, but if you decide you do love him I think you'll find that if you can take that leap of faith he'll be there to catch you."  

~~~~~~

"Rachel if you're there, please pick up."  There was silence for a moment until JC's voice again filled Rachel's apartment Saturday evening.  "Rachel?"  Again he paused.  "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorr--" for some reason he was cut off then, "Damn it!"

Rachel sat at the counter, staring at her answering machine.  Hesitantly she reached out and pushed the repeat button--again.  She'd gotten home about an hour ago and had automatically pushed the button on her machine.  She hadn't expected there to be any messages so to say she had been surprised to hear JC's voice was an understatement-though she shouldn't have been.  If he'd been able to find Megan and Jackson in Phoenix, then it shouldn't have come as a shock that he'd been able to find her home number.  He'd left about ten messages--all in the space of a few hours and each one similar to the one before: "Rachel, its JC.  Call me.  Please."  The desperation in his voice getting stronger with each one.  But this last one was different.  She could almost picture him sitting against the wall like he had been when she'd shown up at his house last Saturday. 

He'd done well in honoring her request for some time apart.  Besides the flowers he'd sent the next day, he hadn't tried to contact her since leaving her in Phoenix Tuesday morning.  She had half expected him to call her after he left, but her phone had remained silent and she was surprisingly disappointed.  Are you really sorry, JC?  She thought as she once again listened to his messages.  If Megan is right...prove it to me.  Prove to me that you love me.

She startled a bit when her cell phone vibrated on the counter top next to her.  She shut off the answering machine and picked up her cell phone, her heart racing when she saw his name flash on the screen.  She hesitated a second more before flipping the phone open and pressing it against her ear.

"Hello?" She asked, pretending she didn't know who was calling.

"Rachel?" He questioned.

She closed her eyes as his familiar voice sent a tingle down her spine.  "Yeah." She said quietly.

"Hi." He said.  She could hear his own hesitancy and began chewing on her thumbnail as she waited for him to continue.  "I uh...I was just calling to see when you were going to be back in town."

"I'm back." She said evenly, trying to ignore what hearing his voice was doing to her.  Her heart was racing as were her thoughts.  She was supposed to be mad at him yet all she wanted was for him to wrap his arms around her and hold her.  She didn't want to deal with all these conflicting emotions. 

"Really?" He asked.  "Okay, um...I had a couple questions...about the house.  Do you think we could get together and talk about some things?"

"I don't know." She responded.  While part of her wanted to see him--to look into his eyes and see if what Megan believed was true--a bigger part of her needed him to show her he had meant what he said.  Words weren't enough anymore.  He'd told her he was sorry.  Now he needed to show her.   "I just got home and I--"

"It doesn't have to be right now." He was quick to add.  "Monday is fine."  She was quiet for a moment.  "Rachel?" He asked, sounding a little worried. 

"What time on Monday?" She asked.

"Uh...ten?" He questioned.

"I'll have to see." She answered.  "I don't know what my schedule looks like yet."

"Okay." He said.  Again there was silence between them.  "I'm glad your back." He said sincerely and Rachel's heart skipped a beat.  "Well, I...better go." He said when she said nothing.  "I'll talk to you later?" He asked. 

"Yeah." She answered quietly.

"Alright.  Bye." He said.

"Bye." Rachel hung up the phone and sat, looking at it until her home phone rang, causing her to jump.  "What the hell?  Hello?" She answered.

"Rach?  It's Dad." She smiled when she heard her father's voice.  "I was just calling to make sure you got home alright."

"Yeah, thanks.  I just walked in."

"Did everything go okay?" He asked.  "How's your car?"

"It's fine." Rachel chuckled.  "Thanks for letting me stay so long, Dad." She said.

"You're welcome anytime, Rachel.  I mean that." He responded. 

"Thanks."

"Are we going to see you for Thanksgiving this year?" Paul asked.

"I don't know, Dad." Rachel sighed.  The thought of spending Thanksgiving with not only her stepmother, Sherry, but her step-siblings and their children left a bitter taste in her mouth.  When her father had remarried, Rachel had expressed her frustration and the betrayal she felt but as he'd told her, they were both adults and didn't need her approval.  What had really hurt--and what was still a major source of pain to her--was the fact that she was no longer the only child in her father's life.  For almost eighteen years she'd never had to share her father with any one then all that changed.  He now had three other children that Sherry had brought into the marriage.  So not only was his time taken away from her because of a new wife, but he spent a lot of time and money on her children and grandchildren--taking time away from Rachel.

"It's just going to be Sherry and me." He offered.  "The other kids are all at in-laws this year."

"No offense," Rachel replied, "But that doesn't make me want to come any more than before."

Paul sighed.  "Honey, I wish you'd give Sherry a chance."

And I wish you wouldn't have married Sherry in the first place. Rachel thought, but she couldn't say it out loud.  She'd already made her feelings known on numerous occasions.  Bringing it up again wouldn't do anything except pick at an old scab that was trying to heal.

"She asked me last week if you were going to come for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year." He said.

Rachel sighed again as she rested her elbow on the counter and placed her chin in her hand.  "I don't know, Dad." She repeated.  "I'm going to have to see if I can even take the time off.  This week was kind of spur of the moment plus I've got a new house I just started...I've got to talk to Matt on Monday and see.  I'll call you and let you know."

"Please do." Her father said.  "We'd love to have you."

"I'll let you know." Rachel said again. 

"Okay."

"Listen, I gotta go.  I haven't brought in anything from the car and I probably have to go grocery shopping."

"Alright.  I love you, Rachel."

"I love you too, Dad.  I'll talk to you later."

Hanging up she looked at her answering machine-the light still blinking, alerting her to the messages she'd received.  With a sigh she reached over and hit the erase button then walked out of the apartment and down to her car. 

~~~~~~

JC tried to walk at a normal pace to the front door Monday morning when he heard the bell ring.  His heart was racing, hoping it was Rachel.  She hadn't called to tell him they still had an appointment, but she also hadn't called to tell him they didn't.  He was anxious about seeing her again--not really sure how he should act, or what he was supposed to do.  He hadn't seen her in almost a week and he was going crazy.  He needed to see her; needed to look in her eyes and see if there was any hope of her one day forgiving him.  He took a deep breath and blew it out before reaching for the doorknob.

"Who are you?" He asked the brunette standing on his front steps.

"Hi." She smiled, holding out her hand, her brown eyes sparkling.  "I'm Erin Fisher.  You must be JC, right?"  He didn't answer and didn't take her hand, his mind in turmoil.  What was this chick doing here?  Where was Rachel?  Erin's smile faltered a bit and she lowered her hand as she cleared her throat.  "I'm from Adams & Richards." She offered.  "Rachel sent me."

"Rachel sent you?" He asked.  "Why?"

"Poor thing." Erin shook her head.  "She's still broken up about her grandmother's passing last weekend.  She called me this morning and asked if I could fill in for her today."

JC watched as Erin looked down at the papers in her hands.  What the hell? He thought.  If she couldn't make the appointment why didn't she just call and tell me?  He was confused.  He was upset.  He was disappointed.

"She told me you guys still needed to pick out some paint colors, right?" Erin smiled at him and he grudgingly stepped back, allowing the girl to walk into his home. 

"Yeah." He said, shutting the door.

"Let's go take a look." She replied. 

~~~~~~

Rachel sat at her computer, her eyes glued to the clock at the bottom right corner of the screen.  Ten-thirty.  She thought.  Erin should be there right now.  She felt guilty for springing Erin on JC, but she'd gotten in this morning and panicked when she thought about seeing him again.  She just wanted to avoid him.  If she could avoid him, she could avoid her feelings for him.  Realistically she knew she couldn't avoid him forever--Matt would never allow her to hand off a project this big when it was so close to being finished--but she could avoid him for a little while; just until she'd had a few more days to process everything.

She hadn't been able to get Megan's question from Wednesday night out of her head.  "Do you love him?"  Did she?  She didn't know.  All she knew was she hadn't been able to get a good night's sleep in over a week-his image never leaving her mind.  His explanation constantly echoed in her head and her heart broke a little more every time she thought about the pain and sadness that had been in his blue eyes.  She had finally seen the real JC Chasez.  Not the image that had been projected in the media for the last twelve plus years--but the man; the man who was just as scared and insecure about life as she was.  The man who had experienced betrayal and heartbreak but had been forced to keep it hidden because of the public life he led.  What must that be like?  She wondered.  To constantly put on a happy face and hide what was really going on?  Rachel had seen almost every interview JC had ever done--both during the group's heyday and after they'd broken up--but never once would she have guessed he was hiding what he'd revealed to her. 

Life in the spotlight had made him a master in the art of cover--up and she was beginning to realize they had more in common than she thought.  She too had become a pro at covering up her feelings, but she was getting tired of it.  She lived her life feeling like she was putting on a show for everyone around her--pretending everything was okay--when in reality she was crumbling inside and starving for love and acceptance.  JC seemed to be offering her what she both wanted and needed, but she was like a mouse who had narrowly missed being caught in the trap.  She wanted the cheese that was being offered her, but did she dare reach out and take it? 

An hour and a half later, Rachel was still sitting at her desk staring at nothing.  She hadn't returned any of the calls that had come in over the week she'd been gone; she hadn't looked at a single email or called to schedule another appointment with her other clients.  If it weren't for the fact that she'd just disappeared for five days she would have just taken a sick day and left early.

"Cream."

Rachel was brought back to reality as Erin stepped into her cubicle.  "What?" She asked as the girl sat down next to her desk.

"That's the color he picked out." She said, showing Rachel the color sample JC had chosen for the great room.

"The walls are already beige." Rachel said, furrowing her brows.  "Why would he pick a similar color?"

"I don't know." Erin shrugged.  "But I gave him the book and that's what he picked out."

"Did you suggest anything else to him?" Rachel asked.

"No.  He's the homeowner and apparently that's what he wants."

"Okay, um...here's a tip." Rachel said, trying not to get irritated at the girl.  "The homeowner doesn't always know what he or she wants." Especially this homeowner. She thought. 

"Do you want me to call him and set up another appointment?" Erin asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"No." Rachel answered quickly and a bit abruptly.  Erin looked at her in surprise.  "No." She repeated softer.  "I'll call him." She reached out for the folder she'd given Erin this morning.  Erin sighed in disappointment as she handed it over to Rachel.  "Thanks for going this morning." Rachel offered as the girl stood.  "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome." Erin smiled, then left.

Cream?  She thought.  Seriously, JC?  Have I taught you nothing?  She shook her head.  Obviously she couldn't avoid him as long as she wanted to. 

He was pouting, and he knew it.  If his mother were here she'd lay into him, telling him to get off his ass and do something.  What thirty-two year old man pouted?   If he wasn't happy with the situation he was in, he was perfectly capable to do something about it.  But as JC sat out on the back porch of his house Tuesday afternoon he was at a loss as to what to do.  Rachel had blown him off yesterday.  She'd treated him like he was just a client even though they both knew he was anything but just a client to her.  No.  He corrected himself.  She'd treated him like less than a client.  She hadn't even had the decency to call and warn him that she was sending someone else to their appointment yesterday morning. 

When Erin had pulled out the sample books an idea had formed.  When she asked him what color he wanted he had pointed to the color that was closest to the one already on the walls, knowing Rachel would have a cow.  If she didn't want to see him willingly, he was going to force her to see him.  He knew she would never let him go through with painting the walls cream.  However, as the hours ticked by--his phone remaining silent in his pocket-his disappointment grew. 

He was going crazy.  He didn't know how much longer he could take this separation from her.  He wanted to grab his keys, drive down to her office and demand to know what her problem was-but he already knew what her problem was.  He was her problem. 

JC sighed as he shifted in the chair and, placing one elbow up on the arm, put his chin in his hand.  Never before had he wished harder for a time machine.  He'd give anything to take back what had happened, but he couldn't.  The only thing he could do was try to apologize, but Rachel wasn't making that very easy.  He'd done a lot of thinking and soul searching since opening up to her last week-a lot of thinking and soul searching.  He thought about his life and the direction he was headed--this time staying away from the liquor cabinet--and had made some decisions.  The big one being, he wanted to get back to his music.  He'd taken a break from it lately because of different opportunities that had come his way, but music was where his heart was.  He was happiest when he was making music and it was time to get serious about it again.  The music world hadn't been ready for his first album but the climate had changed quite a bit since he'd released Schizophrenic.  Maybe this second album would do better.  He didn't know and realistically there was no way to know how this next album would be received.  All he knew was that something inside was screaming for release.

And music wasn't the only thing it was time to get serious about.  Some things had been missing from his personal life as well and Rachel's leaving had thrown that into sharp relief.  This wasn't the first relationship he'd ever been in, nor was the first time he'd felt strongly for a girl.  It was, however, the first time he'd begun to think about settling down with someone.  He'd always said marriage was a long way down the road for him, but lately he was beginning to question whether the road was as long as he thought it was.  This is crazy. He thought, shaking his head and sitting up in the chair.  I am not ready to get married!  And besides, even if I were, Rachel hates me.  He sighed as he grabbed his phone from his pocket, hoping she'd called and he just somehow hadn't heard it.

Nothing.

He put his head back against the chair and closed his eyes.  He had been burned in every relationship he'd been in.  He'd gone through just about every version of heartbreak and betrayal a guy could go through and after each one he swore it was the last time he gave his heart.  But what happened?  Each time he ended up getting more involved than the last time as if searching to make up what had been missing in his past relationships.  With as much as his heart had been through it was a wonder he had the courage to even talk to girls anymore, let alone date them, but it was like he'd told Rachel.  He just wanted someone to like him for him and he kept thinking he'd find it.  He kept telling himself that the next one would be better; that the next girl he dated would be dating him because she liked him.  Not because he had been a part of one of the biggest pop groups of all time.  Not because he had the money and connections to get whatever he wanted.  Not because he'd won dozens of awards and got invited to all the parties and not because he was fulfilling some teenage fantasy of hers.  He wanted someone to like him because he was just a guy; a guy who wanted someone to love him, someone he could be himself around and not worry about what she was thinking because he knew she loved him even when he acted like a dork.

He tried to hold back, he really did.  He tried not to get involved so quickly but he was cursed.  Once his heart made up its mind he jumped in with both feet and never looked back.  In the past it had always been the girl who'd broken things off--because she'd used him to further her career and now that she was where she wanted to be she didn't need him anymore, or because he was the rebound guy and she'd found who she wanted to have a "real" relationship with--but this time he had no one to blame but himself and that's what hurt so much.  He'd finally found someone who made him feel like the regular guy he wanted to be and he'd thrown it all away.  He wasn't JC the celebrity when he was with Rachel.  He felt like he was just Josh again when he was with her--and that was something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

But he'd blown it.  He'd let his insecurities and the pain he was carrying around control him.  He'd taken it out on the one person who meant more to him than anyone ever had.  The things he'd said to her kept echoing in his head, making his heart hurt.  The pain and betrayal in her brown eyes haunted him so he couldn't sleep but he didn't know how to fix things or make the pain go away.

Once again he pulled his phone from his pocket.  Sniffing and taking a deep breath he dialed her number.  With a trembling hand he held the phone against his ear and waited.  Counting the rings...       

~~~~~~

Rachel sat on her couch Wednesday evening, staring at her phone as it vibrated on the cushion next to her.  JC's name flashed across the small screen as it had been doing ritually for the past day and a half.  He'd called her more than a dozen times but had only left one message: "Please call me."

Her phone quieted, leaving Rachel alone in the silence of her apartment until her land line rang.  She jumped at the unexpected noise, but didn't get up.  She heard the machine click on giving the greeting she'd had since she'd moved in: "This is Rachel. I'm not home right now so leave me a message."  She waited, wondering who was calling her.  Probably just a telemarketer. She thought.  But her heart skipped when a very familiar voice came over the line.

"Rachel?" JC asked.   He paused for a second.  "I know you're there."  Rachel drew her knees up, hugging them as she laid her chin on them and closed her eyes--listening to his familiar voice.  "Rachel, please.  I don't know how much more of this I can take." She heard him sigh heavily and she fought back the tears.  She thought he'd hung up but then she heard him again, quieter this time.  "I don't want to lose you.  Please...give me another chance."

Rachel sat on the couch, tears silently falling as JC hung up and the answering machine turned off.  Damn it!  She thought as she sniffed and wiped the tears from her face.   If Megan were here she'd tell her she was being ridiculous but she couldn't help it.  While part of her was ready to forgive him, another part of her wanted to test him-to see how much was willing to fight for her.  And for how long.

Her cell phone vibrated again, this time alerting her to a text message.  Hesitantly she flipped her phone open and read what he'd sent.

I miss your smile.

Rachel's heart flipped at his simple declaration.  Her phone vibrated again as she sat holding it.  Opening the new message she felt tear pricking again.

I miss your laugh.

And another one.

I miss you.

Rachel opened a blank message out of habit, her fingers hovering over the keys as she contemplated what and if she should say anything to him.  When she couldn't think of anything she picked up the remote and flipped on the television.   Curling up against the arm of the couch, Rachel tried to ignore the thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of her.

Several hours later Rachel woke up.  When did I fall asleep? She wondered as she rubbed her eyes.  She stretched as she reached for her cell phone to see what time it was.  12:15.  She was just about to turn of the television and go to bed when she heard a very distinctive and familiar laugh.   Her heart skipped when she saw JC sitting and talking to Jimmy Kimmel.  "When did he..." She stopped, turning the volume up and listening, wondering if this was a new show or a rerun.  How had she not known JC was going to be on this show tonight?  Maybe because you haven't really talked to him in more than a week.  Her conscious argued.  Rachel pushed the thought away as she turned the volume up higher.

"So, you've got the judging gig on MTV going on..." Jimmy said.

"Yep." JC nodded.

"And I hear rumors that another CD is in the works..."

JC chuckled, but Rachel noticed his eyes were devoid of any of his usual sparkle.  He may be smiling for the camera but he was not happy.  She's seen enough of his interviews and had grown to know him on a deeper level over the last couple months that she could tell he wasn't himself.  "You know, I've been working on some stuff and when the right collection of songs comes together for me then I'll release something, until then I'm staying busy with other projects.  Dance Crew keeps me busy when it's filming, and I'm always doing something."

"And then there's your girlfriend." Jimmy said, and JC smiled.  Rachel watched as a picture of herself and JC from the movie premier they'd gone to a few weeks ago was flashed up on the screen.  She had to admit it was a great picture.  JC looked amazing and she actually looked like she belonged there on the red carpet, holding his hand.  She remembered the way she'd felt-standing there next to him--knowing everyone knew they were together.  She remembered the awesome feeling that came with knowing that out of every one he could be with he had picked her.

She still didn't understand what had made her so special.

"Yeah." JC replied, getting a little embarrassed and Rachel watched him intently--wondering what Jimmy was going to ask him and how JC was going to respond.

"You guys really do make a great looking couple.  She's very pretty."

"Yeah, she is." JC replied, looking over his shoulder at the screen behind him that still had their picture up on it.

"So you two have been together a couple months...do you see this becoming something permanent?"

"I hope so, man." JC nodded, looking back at the host.  "I really hope so...she's amazing.  I'm very lucky to have her in my life...but, things are kind of up to her right now." He looked up and into the camera and Rachel's heart stopped as she looked at him. 

"Alright." Jimmy said.  "Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew is on MTV on Thursday nights.  When we come back..."

Rachel flipped off the television, JC's last comment staying with her.  "I hope so...but things are kind of up to her right now."  The ball was in her court and she had to decide what she was going to do once and for all. 

~~~~~~

"Thanks for coming in." Rachel shook the hands of the couple she'd just met with Thursday afternoon.  "Look over what I gave you and give me a call.  I'd really love to work with you guys on this project."

"Thanks." The woman said, placing her hand on her extended middle.  "We can't put this off any longer.  We'll be making a decision in the next couple days.  We've got to get the nursery finished."

"Good luck." Rachel smiled.  "I'll be waiting to hear from you."  As they left the building she turned and started heading back towards her cubicle, trying to ignore the anxiety filling her at the call she now had to make.  She had been putting it off for three days, but the fact of the matter was there was no way in hell she was letting JC paint the walls of the great room cream!  She'd spent way too much time and energy on the project for him to revert to his old habits and ruin everything.  But, the only way to change his mind was to talk to him.  And she was dreading it.   She stopped as she got to her cube, one brow rising in surprise at what was waiting for her.

The biggest bouquet of dark red roses she'd ever seen sat blocking her computer screen while a medium sized box wrapped in shiny red paper sat on top of the design magazines she'd been looking through earlier.  "What the..." She trailed off as she dropped down into her chair.  She spotted a tiny white envelope sticking out among the red petals and reached for it, her finger sliding under the flap and releasing the seal. 

Just wanted to make sure you smiled today.

Putting the note down she reached for the box and unwrapped it, gasping when she saw four huge chocolate covered strawberries nestled inside.  She sat, completely dumbfounded for several minutes, until her cell phone vibrated.  Reaching for it blindly, Rachel brought it to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked, still in shock.

"You answered!" JC said, sounding extremely surprised.  He cleared his throat nervously.  "Are you smiling?" He asked. 

"I'm in shock." She answered honestly.  "No one's ever...why..."

"They told me about your grandma dying last week when I stopped in to talk to you.  I forgot about it until Erin said something the other morning.  I'm sorry."

Rachel groaned as she set the strawberries on her desk and covered her eyes.  "JC..." She paused.  "She..."  Damn it!  She couldn't tell him the truth for several reasons.  Number one, her grandmother hadn't died but everyone at the office thought she had.  If she let it slip that that wasn't the reason she'd gone home last week she'd be in serious trouble.  Number two, he was the reason she'd made up that lie in the first place and number three...she couldn't think of a number three.  "I can't talk about this right now." She finally replied.

"I understand." He replied. 

"No, you don't." She answered.  Really, you don't. She thought with a roll of her eyes.  "But, I'm glad you called." She added.

"You are?" He asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah.  I was just about to call you actually."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why?" He asked, suddenly sounding wary.

"We're fresh out of cream paint." She replied, in an even tone.

"Is that so?" He asked and she could hear the hint of a smile in his voice.

She nodded, though he couldn't see her.  "Yeah, so you're going to have to pick a different color."

"I see." He replied.  "And is that something you're going to help me with, or am I going to have to work with that other girl again?"

"I don't know." She replied flippantly.  "Erin seemed really excited about working with you on Monday." Rachel answered, wondering what he would say.

"Erin doesn't know what the hell she's doing, or she never would have let me settle on cream." He stated firmly and Rachel smiled at his attitude.  "When are you coming over?" He asked as if he already knew what her answer would be.

"I'm booked the rest of the day with a staff meeting and a couple consults..." She moved the box of strawberries and searched the desk for her planner.  "I could..."

"Come after work?" He finished for her.  "Great!  I'll see you around six." He said then quickly hung up before she could say anything.

Rachel looked at the receiver for a moment in bewilderment then hung it up, shaking her head as a smile spread across her face.  Oh, he's smooth.  Alright, six it is.  She thought as she pulled one of the strawberries from the box.  Biting into it Rachel let out a moan at the pure decadence of the treat.  She closed her eyes as she savored the experience.  JC certainly knew what he was doing.  If he truly wanted to win her back he was definitely on the right track.

~~~~~~

At five fifty-three Rachel punched in JC's gate code and pulled up his driveway.  Parking her car she glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure she looked okay, ran her fingers through her hair, then grabbed her bag and got out.  She was nervous-which was ridiculous.  It felt like a first date between them all over again.  She smoothed her hands down the front of her light blue blouse then knocked.  When he didn't answer she tried the door and found it unlocked.  "JC?" She called out as she poked her head inside.

"I'm in the kitchen!" He called out.  "Come on in."

Rachel opened the door wider and stepped inside.  Setting her bag down by the front door she made her way back towards the kitchen, her nose picking up on a mouthwatering aroma.  "Something smells...good..." She stopped as she came into the kitchen, one brow rising as she took in the scene before her.  JC stood in front of the stove in a simple pair of jeans and a black T-shirt stirring something in a large black sauce pan.  "You're cooking?" She asked in surprise, laughing when he turned and she saw the white, Kiss the Cook apron he had on.

"Don't look so surprised." He replied, looking hurt.  "You're just in time. Come here." He lifted the spoon he'd been using and put his other hand beneath it so it wouldn't drip on the floor.  "Tell me what you think."

Rachel's feet moved her forward and her eyes never left his as he brought the spoon to her lips.  She tasted the marinara sauce--her eyes widening as she licked her lips. 

"Good?" He asked with a sparkle in his eyes as he took in her reaction. 

"It's fantastic!" She exclaimed as she looked at him in shock.  "When did you learn to cook?" She asked.

"I think you'll find, the more you get to know me the more I'll surprise you." He went back to concentrating on the food.

"Is that so?" Rachel asked with a grin. 

"I've kept some things about myself private, to protect my sanity." He admitted.  "Cooking is one of them.  I only share this talent with a select few."

"I'm honored." Rachel replied, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned her hip against the counter. 

"You should be." He winked at her and her heart skipped a few beats.  There was something undeniably sexy about a man who could cook-something that made every female hormone in Rachel's body come alive.  Add to that the fact that the man cooking was JC and Rachel was a complete mess.  She watched as he brought the spoon to his own mouth and tasted what he'd been working on--a shiver ran down her spine as his tongue darted out and caught the sauce he'd dripped.  With a satisfied nod of his head, he reached his arm out and turned off the burner.  "If you want to grab a couple plates in the cupboard there," he pointed as he backed up and opened the oven, the delicious smell of warm bread filling the kitchen, "I think we're ready."

Rachel watched in astonishment as he removed what she assumed was a loaf of French bread from the oven, then turned and took two plates out of the cupboard behind her.  Turning back to JC she held them out to him.  He took one from her and filled it with spaghetti from one pot and his marinara sauce from another.  After handing her back the plate and filling the other one she took the plates to the table while he followed behind her with the bread.  Reaching the table Rachel was surprised to see there was a salad waiting for them, along with a bottle of red wine.  He's certainly been busy today. She thought with a smile as he pulled out a chair for her.  She sat down, her eyes following as he moved around the table and sat down across from her.  They exchanged smiles then began eating. 

"This is amazing!"  Rachel exclaimed.  He grinned proudly as he filled both of their glasses with wine. 

"I'm glad you like it." He said after taking a sip.  "It's my own secret recipe." He lifted an arrogant brow causing her to chuckle.

"Well, I'm impressed." She said as she reached for the salad bowl and put some on her plate.  "Whoever taught you how to cook deserves a kiss."  He grinned as he leaned back and pointed to the declaration on his apron.  Rachel laughed.

"Let's get down to business." He said leaning forward again.  "That's why you're here, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about business." Rachel replied as she looked down.  She dug her fork into the pasta and began twirling the utensil, watching as the noodles wrapped around the tines.

"What do you want to talk about then?" He asked. 

"My grandmother didn't die." She blurted out then looked up at him to see his reaction. 

"What?" He asked, his brows furrowed.

Rachel shook her head.  "I was going to tell you earlier when you called but I couldn't.  I lied to get the time off last week."  She could feel her cheek warming.

He blew out a breath.  "Well, that's a relief." He said.  Rachel looked at him in confusion.  This was not the reaction she had been expecting.  "I'm glad to know I'm not a completely rotten person." He said as he speared some salad.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

"When that girl...Nicole?" He hesitated and Rachel nodded.  "When I came into the office and Nicole told me that your grandmother had died I felt about this tall." He confessed, holding his thumb and forefinger an inch apart.  "After what had happened between us Saturday night, to then find out that you were dealing with a death in your family as well?" He shook his head.  "It's just nice to know that I'm only mostly rotten."  He looked at her as he took another bite. 

"I feel bad." Rachel said as she took a sip of wine.  "You sent me the flowers this morning and those strawberries--which, by the way, were amazing--because you were under the impression that she had died."

"That wasn't the only reason I sent them." He replied as he picked up his own glass.  Rachel watched as he pressed the rim to his lips and took a sip.  She swallowed the excess moisture that had suddenly filled her mouth as her eyes stayed focused on his mouth.  How long had it been since he'd kissed her? 

Snap out of it! She told herself as she tore her eyes away from him and dropped her gaze to her plate and they continued eating in silence.  You're supposed to still be upset at him, remember?  But she couldn't keep her eyes off him for too long.  Before she knew it she was once more being drawn in by his gorgeous eyes.  She felt hot all of a sudden and just wanted to sit down in his lap and kiss him--good and hard.  She wanted to taste him again and feel his lips against hers while his hands pressed against her back as he held her close...goose bumps broke out and a tingle ran down her spine as her imagination began to run away with her.  JC was one of the most passionate men she'd ever met and Rachel knew he wouldn't object if she were to do what she was imagining.  The only thing stopping her was the fact that, while the physical connection between them was still strong the emotional connection they shared had been damaged and needed to be worked on. 

Until then, the physical would have to wait.

Rachel looked down and stabbed at her plate as the disappointment filled her.  But she was also relieved in some respects.  The fact that she was still sexually attracted to him--to the point of distraction--gave her hope that they'd eventually be able to work things out and get past this rough patch in their relationship.

"What was the other reason?" She asked.

"What?" He responded, looking at her.

"You said my grandmother dying wasn't the only reason you sent the flowers." She clarified.  "What was the other reason?"

"What the card said." He replied.  "I wanted to make you smile."  She smiled as she felt her cheeks warm.  He grinned.  "Like that." He said, his eyes sparkling.

"Well, thank you.  They're the prettiest roses I've ever gotten.  In fact, they're the only roses I've ever gotten."

He looked at her in surprise.  "What?" He asked.  "Now I find that hard to believe.  How can someone as wonderful and beautiful as you are, go through life never having received a single rose from anyone?"

Rachel shrugged.  "I've gotten other flowers from people but never any roses."

"Hmmm...I'm going to have to work on that." He answered with a sly grin.

Rachel looked down at her plate, concentrating on the food in front of her.  This was getting dangerous.  He was getting dangerous.  JC was too smooth and seductive for his own good.  Rachel could feel the defenses she'd put in place toppling.  Her anger towards him had dissipated significantly in the last twenty-four hours and she found herself wanting to reach out to him.  She wanted so badly to trust him again but something was holding her back.  She still needed him to prove to her that he loved her--truly and completely loved her. 

"People magazine called me on Friday." He said, breaking through her thoughts.  "They want to run an article on us."  Rachel's head shot up and she looked at him wide eyed. 

"On us?!"  She asked, feeling a bit panicked.  He nodded as he took another bite.  "Why the hell do they want to do a story on us?"

"Because I made it clear two weeks ago, on national television that we were dating." He told her. 

Rachel put her fork down and sat looking at her plate while a million thoughts tumbled around in her head.  Together?  She wanted to laugh at the irony.  Oh, if people only knew.  "I really don't think now is the best time for us to do an interview as a couple, JC, do you?" She looked back up at him.

"No." He shook his head, his blue eyes watching her intently.  "Which is why I told them right now wasn't a good time for either of us.  I told them we were both really busy and didn't have the time.  They wanted to know if we'd be interested in doing it the beginning of the year, maybe after the Cribs episode on MTV airs."

"What did you say?" Rachel asked.

"I told them it would probably be okay, but that I'd have to talk to you about it first and I wasn't making any promises."

Rachel nodded--wondering if things would be back to normal between them in a few months.  But then again, what's normal about our relationship? She wondered as she took the last bite of spaghetti.  I'm an interior designer and he's a world famous musician.  Wiping her mouth with the linen napkin that had been resting on her knee through dinner she stood.   

"Leave it." JC said as she picked up her plate and he refilled both their glasses.  "It's a beautiful night." He said when she looked at him warily.  "Let's go sit outside for a little while." He stood and, finally taking off the apron he'd been wearing, held her glass out to her. 

Rachel kept her eyes on his as she reached for her glass.  She saw a spark of something in his sapphire eyes that caused her stomach to flip.  What have you got up your sleeve tonight, Mr. Chasez?  She wondered.

"Come on." He said, turning on his heels and heading towards the French doors that led to the back patio.  "I promise I won't bite." He smirked as he held the door open for her.

~~~~~

JC took a sip of his wine and sat down in one of the deck chairs; Rachel followed his example and sat down next to him.  He kept his hand on his glass though that was the last place he wanted it to be.  It had been eleven days--eleven days since he'd last touched her soft skin, kissed her beautiful mouth, or even just held her hand.  It had been eleven days and he was going absolutely crazy.  She had no idea how close he'd come to kissing her in the kitchen when she'd first arrived.  She'd walked in and looked at him in amazement--making him feel a smug sense of satisfaction--and all he'd wanted to do was press her up against the counter while his mouth worked to convince her of his remorse.  Instead, he'd had her taste the sauce he'd made, hoping to get his mind off the fact that he was desperately in love with her and horny as hell.

They sat there, side by side in silence for a few moments, every nerve ending in his body charged.  There was an almost visible current running between them and he wondered if she could feel it.  Was the calm demeanor she was presenting him right now as she sipped at her wine just a front?  Was she as affected by him as he was by her?  He'd never been this in tune with a woman before.  Though he sat facing the backyard every cell in his body was focused on Rachel.  He felt as if he closed his eyes and concentrated he'd be able to read her thoughts.  

"The stars are so beautiful." Rachel finally said, breaking the silence between them as she stood suddenly and walked towards the railing that ran along the edge of the patio.  He sat for a second before standing as well.  He placed his glass on the table next to him, and then slowly made his way towards her.  He watched as she craned her neck and looked up at the night sky, taking in her beautiful profile.  Her delicate jaw line, the graceful curve of her neck....JC reached out and gripped the wooden rail in front of him tightly as he tore his eyes from her. 

"Do you know any of the constellations?" He asked, trying desperately to distract himself.

"Sometimes I can pick out the Big Dipper but that's about it." Rachel replied.

"The Big Dipper's not out right now." JC said, looking up at the sky.  "But Cassiopeia is."  Rachel laughed softly.  "What?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Isn't that the constellation John Cusack's character points out to Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity?" She smiled.

"I don't know."  He replied.  "Is it?"

"Yeah, remember?" She asked, turning back to the sky.  "The freckles on her arm are in the same formation and he points it out to her."

"I don't think I ever saw that movie." He replied honestly. 

"I loved that scene, but I can never find the constellation..." She trailed off and he watched as she continued to search the sky.

"It's right there." He pointed towards the formation of stars above them.

"Where?" She asked, sounding confused.

"Right there." He said.  "Look where I'm pointing."

She looked at his finger then up at the sky.  "I don't see it." She shook her head. 

Stepping up behind her JC placed his left hand on her hip, turning her body so she was facing the right way while he took her right hand in his.  "Point your finger." He said softly.  She did as he requested as he raised her arm and pointed her finger at the stars.  "It starts there," he said, and then moved her finger down, connecting it to the others in the formation.  "And looks like a stretched out ‘w'.  Do you see it now?" He asked, turning his head slightly to look at her.  He took in her ragged breathing and saw her tongue dart out, licking her lips as she swallowed.  His lips were mere centimeters away from her.  He could tilt his head slightly as brush them across her cheek.  He closed his eyes and leaned towards her. 

"Yeah." She breathed and he opened his eyes.  "W-what..." she cleared her throat and he smirked at her obviously flustered state.  Her resistance was breaking.  "What other constellations are out tonight?" She asked.  He turned his head once more to the sky, though he kept his hand on her hip and her hand in his.

"Pegasus is out." He replied once more turning her body with his and raising her arm.  He drew an imaginary line with her finger connecting the stars in the constellation.  "Other than that, I don't know any of the other ones that are up right now." He answered honestly. 

~~~~~

Holy hell!  Rachel thought as JC slowly released her and stepped away--the cool night air rushing to fill the space behind her that his body had occupied just seconds before.  She placed her hands on the railing in front of her and struggled to gain control of her breathing, while her heart was jumping wildly in her chest.  It had taken everything in her not to lean back against him when he'd come up behind her, and when he'd placed his hand on her hip?  She thought she was going to die.  And the stupid thing was she still didn't know where the damn constellations were!  She'd been too preoccupied with the feel of his arms around her, the spicy scent of his aftershave that she'd come to miss, and the low, sensual tone of his voice in her ear to pay any attention whatsoever to what he was showing her.  She looked up at the sky trying to distract herself and a sudden string of memories came to mind.

"I remember when I was younger," she found herself saying out loud, "My mom and I would sit out on the back porch after dinner sometimes and talk." Rachel smiled wistfully.  "That was our time.  We would sit out there for hours sometimes just looking at the stars, talking and laughing.  When she died..."  Rachel stopped.  She didn't know why she was telling him this but felt like she needed to so she continued.  "When she died...I'd sit outside by myself at night and wonder if she was up there somewhere-watching over me like she said she would be."  She cleared her throat and blinked back the tears that had suddenly formed.

"How did she die?" JC asked quietly.

"Breast cancer." Rachel replied.  "She uh...she got really sick right after Christmas one year, but by the time the doctors figured out what it was it was too late.  It had already spread." 

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen." She wiped the tears that had escaped from her face and tried to laugh.  "It's been ten years.  You'd think I'd be used to it by now.  Look at me."  She turned to look at him, her smile faltering at the emotion she saw shining in his blue eyes. 

"It's okay to cry, Rachel." He told her, reaching his hand out and brushing the tears from her face.  "It's okay to still hurt--no matter how long it's been.  She was your mother."  As if his permission were all she needed, Rachel found herself in his arms, crying softly against his chest while he held her.  "It'll be okay." He assured her, his voice low as lifted a hand to the back of her head and brushed his lips across her temple.  "I'm here." He said, tightening his other arm around her.  "I'm not going anywhere."

After allowing herself to cry for a few more minutes Rachel pulled back and wiped the tears from her face.  "I'm sorry." She said.  "Wow."  She sniffed a few times.  "I didn't mean to come over and completely fall apart like this."

"Look at me." He said softly, but firmly, as he took her face in his hands.  "Don't ever apologize to me about what you're feeling." He told her.  "If you're hurting I want to know about it." He swiped his thumbs across her face, wiping away her tears.  "I'm sorry that you've had a lot of crap hit your fan over the years and I'm sorry I've been part of that crap recently.  You are so incredibly wonderful and amazing and at the risk of sounding ridiculously cheesy, I'm beginning to wonder how I ever survived without you.  I know you've been hurt in the past.  I know you're afraid to trust me again but I'm not going anywhere, Beautiful.  Whether you like it or not you're stuck with me."

Rachel wrapped her arms around his waist as she laid her head against his chest.  JC put his arms around her protectively and rested his chin against the top of her head.  She closed her eyes, relishing the security and comfort she felt in his embrace and she knew.  No more was he simply the boy she'd dreamt about and drooled over.  No more was he the idol she'd placed on a pedestal all these years.  He was just a man--beautifully flawed and imperfect.  She listened to the steady beat of his heart and realized her own was beating in time with his.  We're in sync. She thought and smiled at the cheesy play on words.  As he brought his hand up to cradle the back of her head once more, his lips softly pressing themselves to her temple, Rachel realized that-for better or worse-he was it for her; her soul mate, her other half and it was finally time to let him in.  

~~~~~~

"Do you have plans tomorrow night?" JC asked the next afternoon, startling Rachel at work.  She gasped in surprise as she looked up from the room design she was sketching. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked as he sat down with a chuckle. 

"I asked you a question first." He replied and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"What are my plans for tomorrow night?" She repeated his question.  He nodded.  "Hmmm..." she thought for a moment.  "I don't know.  I was thinking about maybe cutting my hair--"

"Please don't." He interrupted her, his expression serious.

"Wow." She chuckled.  "I had no idea you were so attached to my hair.  Okay." She smiled.  "Then apparently I have no plans."  JC said nothing, sliding something across the desk towards her.  "What is this?" Rachel asked, reaching for the laminated rectangle he'd pushed her way.  Her eyes widened when she realized what it was she was holding.  "Jace...this is..." She looked at him in surprise.  "Really?" She asked, getting excited.

He nodded, his eyes sparkling.  "Justin's doing a show tomorrow night and we're going to be doing one of the songs we wrote together.  I want you to come."

"This is an all access, VIP backstage pass." Rachel told him in astonishment as she held it up in front of him-as if he didn't already know what he'd just given her.

"I know." He grinned.  "So will you come?" He asked.

"How can I say no to this?" She inquired with a smile.

"Great!" He answered with an adorable grin.  "Then I'll pick you up around six-thirty." With that he stood and disappeared as quickly as he'd materialized.  Rachel rolled her chair over and poked her head out into the aisle, watching as he walked back towards the lobby.  She smiled when he turned around and winked at her.  Moving her chair back to her desk Rachel grabbed her phone and flipped it open. 

Guess what I just got?

She sent the text to Megan and waited, looking at the pass she was still holding--an excited giggle escaping her lips.  Her phone vibrated and she flipped it open.

What?  Just tell me.  I don't want to guess.

She quickly typed her response and sent it to Megan.

JC just asked me to come with him to Justin's concert on Sat!  I am holding a VIP back-stage pass in my hands!

Rachel waited for Megan's reply.

No way!  Are you serious?!

She chuckled then opened a blank message.

Of course I'm serious! What the hell am I going to wear??

"Hey." He said with a grin when he saw her.

"Hey yourself." She smiled as she took the bobby pin from her mouth.  "I'm almost ready." She said putting the pin where her hand had been holding her hair up then ducked back into the bathroom.  Rachel fused with her hair for a few more seconds then picked up the aerosol bottle of hairspray from the counter and closed her eyes as she sprayed everything in place. 

"So you're the reason for global warming." JC said as he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe. 

"Ha-ha." Rachel laughed dryly with a good natured roll of her eyes then turned to look at him with a small sigh of appreciation.  He looked incredible!  The gray pants and white button down shirt would have been enough for her, but add to it the black vest that he had on and Rachel's heart was suddenly beating wildly in her chest.  She put the hairspray back on the counter, quickly applied some of her favorite lip gloss then turned to look at him.  "Ready?" She asked, as she cocked a hip and placed her hand on it.

"Are you?" He asked with a grin, his blue eyes traveling over her.  Rachel tried hard not to gloat at the obvious interest and admiration she saw on his face. 

"As I'll ever be." She replied, walking around him.  "Let's go.  I don't want to keep Justin waiting."

 ~~~~~ 

"Ah!" JC groaned as he turned and followed Rachel.  "I knew it!" She giggled as he walked out to the front room with her.  She stood looking at him, her eyes sparkling and his heart skipped a beat.  She was so beautiful!  The jeans and long black baby doll top were simple and comfortable, but she had dressed the outfit up with a couple of silver bangles on one wrist, a long silver necklace and some silver hoops in her ears.  She'd piled her hair atop her head, giving him perfect access to her neck.  If the opportunity presents itself later on.  He mused.

"What are you plotting?" Rachel asked, watching him warily.

"Plotting?" He asked, innocently as he tucked his hands in his pockets.  "I'm not plotting anything." He shrugged easily as he stepped closer to her and she narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him.  "What makes you think I'm plotting something?" He asked.

"That mischievous sparkle in your eyes." She replied.  "It gives you away every time Mr. Chasez.  I know your tricks." She said, pointing a finger at him as she grinned.

"Oh you do, do you?" He chuckled, his heart soaring at seeing her smile and hearing the sassiness back in her voice. 

"Yeah, I do.  I'm on to you so you just better watch it." She laughed. 

He reached his hand out and brushed away some of the hair that was falling softly around her face.  He couldn't help it-he had to touch her--and as his fingertips lightly brushed along her cheek he felt a spark shoot through him.  "I've missed your laugh." He said quietly and he watched, entranced, as her face warmed enticingly.  She reached her hand up and held on to his wrist, her beautiful brown eyes holding him captive.  Slowly he lowered his hand and laced his fingers with hers.  "Let's go." He said with a tug on her hand as he walked towards the front door.  "Justin's waiting."

~~~~~~

"Hey you two!"

Rachel turned as she was following JC around backstage and was surprised when Justin appeared seemingly out of nowhere.  "I was wondering where you disappeared to." He grinned knowingly at JC.  "How are you, Rachel?" Justin asked and Rachel was at a loss for words as he turned his sparkling blue eyes her way.  He remembers me? She thought, feeling a giddy excitement fill her.  

"Good." She finally managed to squeak out.  "I'm good.  I'm excited about the show tonight." She smiled up at him.  He'd caught her by surprise and she wasn't sure what to do or how to act.  Who would have ever thought that one day Justin Timberlake would know who she was?  Her inner teenager had more or less gotten used to the fact that JC was going to be a permanent fixture in her life, but she still felt like jumping around and screaming as Justin's smile widened at her.  She felt like asking for his autograph, but managed to keep that to herself. 

"I was hoping Jace would bring you." He said and Rachel felt like melting into a puddle on the floor.  It was a good thing JC was there keeping his hand possessively at the small of her back, reminding her of who she had come with and who she would be leaving with.  While it was true she was, always had been, and always would be a "JC girl," there was something profoundly attractive and undeniably alluring about the one and only Justin Timberlake. 

"Justin!" A voice rang out, breaking Rachel from her thoughts and causing all three of them to turn towards the source.

"Gotta go." He shrugged with a grin.  "I'll see you two later!" Justin said and with that, he turned and sprinted away.   Rachel watched, fascinated, at all the people scurrying around them like mice in a maze.

"Is it always like this?" She asked, turning to JC.

"Like what?" He asked her.

"This." She spread her arms out at the chaos surrounding them.  "How does anything get done with this many people running around back here?"

"Oh, this is nothing." He chuckled, taking her hand and leading her farther back into the mess.  "You should have seen it when we were doing our stadium tours.  Now that was crazy." He said.  "People running into each other, things being dropped all over the place...it's a wonder we never blew any of the venues up."  

"I can only imagine." She replied as they stepped over several large bundles of electrical cords and wound their way around light fixtures, trying not to bump into anyone.  "Where are we going?" She asked.

"Make up." He answered. 

"You mean you're not this gorgeous naturally?" She asked.

"Hard to believe, I know." He winked at her and she chuckled as they came to a bank of chairs set in front of several mirrors.  He plopped down in one and she sat down next to him. 

"Now what?" She asked, watching as several incredibly beautiful-and incredibly scantily clad-girls walked by them.

"Now we wait for Annie."  JC said, squeezing her hand.  Rachel turned and found him watching her and she gave him a few extra bonus points for not seeming to notice the other girls.

"What are you looking at?" She asked.

"You." He replied honestly.  "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

"A few times." She said smiling.  "You're not so bad looking yourself." She admitted. 

"JC!"

His attention turned from Rachel to that of an older woman that approached them.  "Annie." He smiled as he released Rachel's hand and stood, hugging the woman. 

"Oh, it's great to see you." Annie said as she pulled back.  "It's been too long.  And who's this beautiful young lady you've got with you tonight?" She asked, looking at Rachel.

"Annie, this is my girlfriend Rachel Kline.  Rachel, this is Annie Rossen." He introduced the women.

"It's nice to meet you Rachel." Annie held out her hand and Rachel shook it. 

"You too." Rachel smiled.

"Annie worked with us on the Celebrity tour and then somehow managed to get talked into working with Justin." JC explained as he sat back down.  "And she's been with him ever since as far as I know."

"What can I say?" She shrugged.  "I'm a glutton for punishment." They all laughed.  "Now," she said.  "Let's get down to business.  You disappeared after sound check and things are about to start." She pulled a couple brushes from the cart by the mirror and opened up a small clear container.  Rachel watched as she began working on JC's face.  "I have to ask." She said, speaking to Rachel after catching up with JC for a few moments.  "How in the world do you put up with this one?" She pointed the end of the make up brush at JC.  "He was always the one that was the hardest to work with." JC made a noise of protest and Rachel grinned as Annie winked at her.  "I've never worked with anyone so picky, and that's saying something considering who I'm working with right now."

"It's not always easy." Rachel replied with a dramatic sigh.  "He can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"I'm sitting right here." JC said, turning and leveling his eyes at Rachel.  "You better watch it." He warned pointing a finger at her.

"Or what?" She countered with a raise of one brow.  "Yeah, I didn't think so." She replied when he said nothing.  "He's all talk." She said, turning back to Annie.  "He's all bark, but no bite."

"Sweetheart, if you're into biting," he interjected "I assure you I don't disappoint."  He replied arrogantly and Rachel looked at him in surprise while Annie let out a snort.

"Don't make me promises you can't keep." Rachel replied. 

"Don't play this game with me girl, unless you're willing to see it through to the end." He countered.  Rachel stared into his eyes, trying to figure out when exactly they'd stepped over the line of casual flirting and entered the dangerous territory of seduction.  "And you say I'm the one with no bite." He replied when she remained silent.  "It's a shame, really." He mused as he shook his head then turned and allowed Annie to continue with her job.  "You don't know what you're missing out on."

Rachel snorted.  "Arrogant, cocky, son of a--"

"What did you say?" He interrupted her.

"Hmmm?" Rachel looked at him innocently and Annie laughed.

"Oh, you two are priceless!" She exclaimed.  "Absolutely perfect."  She smiled and JC chuckle as he reached for Rachel's hand, his fingers sliding perfectly between hers.  Rachel suddenly heard the sound level of the crowd increase exponentially and could only assume that meant the opener had started.  She looked over her shoulder.

"Do you want to go?" JC asked.

"No, I can wait." Rachel told him.

He chuckled as he looked at her.  "Go on." He said, releasing her hand.  "I'll come find you when I'm done."

"Are you sure?" She asked, already getting up from her seat.

"Yeah." He smiled.  "Just follow the music."

"I'm almost finished." Annie assured her.  "He'll be done in second."

"Alright." Rachel said then did as JC said.  She followed the music until she came to the side of the stage.  She watched the opening act then got sucked into the excitement as Justin cam out.  Rachel sighed in appreciation as he moved across the stage then greeted the excited crowd.  Rachel shook her head in amazement.  After all these years, girls were as crazy as ever over him.  Who would have ever guessed the cute little boy that had started out on The Mickey Mouse Club all those years ago would one day generate this kind of excitement from a crowd?  It was incredible-he was incredible-and Rachel smiled as she began dancing along.     

~~~~~

JC put his hands in his pockets, smiling as he stood back a few paces and watched Rachel.  A huge smile lit her face as she sang and moved along to the music and he cocked his head, his eyes traveling over her body.  Damn, she knows how to move.  He thought.  He wanted to reach out and pull her back against him-dance with her the way they'd danced at the club when he'd taken her for her birthday.  Maybe they could go out after the show and he'd get to dance with her again...

He shook his head and began walking towards her again, sending a silent prayer of gratitude heavenward.  He didn't know how and he didn't know why, but somehow he'd been given another chance with this woman and he wasn't going to take it for granted.  He'd meant what he'd told her the other night-she was amazing and he found it hard to imagine his life without her anymore.  She was everything he'd ever wanted and then some.  His mother's words from a few months ago suddenly came to mind and he smiled.  "One day you'll meet someone and she'll make you forget about everyone that's hurt you in the past."  He'd dismissed her observation at the time, but now realized just how right she'd been.  Other girls may have broken his heart in the past and it had hurt, but he realized now how paltry those relationships had been compared to what Rachel made him feel.     

As Justin continued talking to the crowd and he began playing a slow song JC reached for Rachel's hand.  She looked up at him with a brilliant smile and he winked at her as he pulled her towards him and began slow dancing with her.

~~~~~

Rachel's heart jumped as JC suddenly appeared and grabbed her hand.  She smiled and let him pull her close while Justin began singing one of his slower songs.  He kept one arm around her waist while he brought the hand he was holding up between them, tucking it against his chest.  Rachel laid her head on his shoulder as they swayed back and forth-a million goose bumps breaking over her as JC  began singing softly in her ear-his smooth, clear voice harmonizing perfectly with Justin's.  

I'm not a saint,

I'm just a man

Who had heaven and earth in the palm of his hand

But I threw it away, so now I stand here today asking

Forgiveness and if you could please,

Give me another chance

To write you another song

Take back those things I've done

Cause I'll give you my heart

If you would let me start all over again

Rachel lifted her head and looked at JC as the song continued, swallowing when his blue eyes met hers and they stopped dancing.  Her heart felt like it was going to leap from her chest.  Since he'd released his second album a couple years ago, this had become her favorite song of Justin's.  It was so honest and emotional-the story of a man being stripped and baring his soul to the woman he loved as he begged for her forgiveness.  Rachel's breath hitched as JC released her and slowly brought his hands up to frame her face, his thumbs brushing across her cheeks.  His eyes bore into hers, silently asking her the questions Justin's song raised. 

Was he forgiven?  Did he have another chance?  Could she one day love him again?

"Yes." Rachel breathed, answering his unvoiced questions and before she knew it his lips were on hers.  She slowly wound her arms around his neck as he leaned into her--one of his hands coming to cradle the back of her head while his other arm moved back down to wind around her waist pulling her tightly against him.  He released her mouth for a brief second as he tilted his head then kissed her again, his tongue lightly tracing along her bottom lip as he deepened the contact between them. 

Rachel melted against him as she put her hands to his face, and then moved her fingers into his hair, fully participating in one of the deepest and most emotional kisses she'd ever experienced.  JC was doing more than merely touching her body--he was touching her soul--and Rachel felt like she could fly.  She'd never felt this connection with a man before and it just worked to prove the conclusion she'd come to the other night.  She truly did love him--so much she felt she would burst from it. 

Just before she was afraid she was going to pass out, he released her mouth.  She gasped for breath as his lips burned a slow, fiery trail down her neck and she moaned when he reached the sweet spot behind her ear.

"I forgot how incredible you tasted." He whispered, his lips brushing against her skin and making her shiver.  He kissed her ear, then the underside of her jaw before leaning back, breathing heavily.  Rachel slowly opened her eyes, feeling as if she were in a dream.  "Do you know how amazing and beautiful you are?" He asked, his hands cupping her face.  He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and then leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes holding hers steadily. 

Rachel swore she stopped breathing from the silent message those gorgeous sapphire orbs were giving her.  He closed his eyes and sighed, his warm breath mingling with hers as he wound his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.  Rachel once again laid her head on his shoulder, her nose brushing along his neck as her breathing and heart rate steadied. 

"You guys up for a little surprise?" Rachel heard Justin ask and the sound level rose a few decibels.  "C, you back there man?"

JC slowly stepped away from her.  "That's my cue." He said, grabbing her hand as he walked backwards--holding onto it until the last possible second.

"Wait." She said tightening her fingers around his before he let go as she finally came back to reality.  He couldn't go out looking like he did.  His hair was mussed from her hands being it and with one look at his kiss swollen lips everyone would know what he'd been doing backstage.  She giggled.  "Come here." She pulled him back towards her.

"I gotta go." He said impatiently.

"Not looking like this, you don't." She replied as she brushed her fingers quickly through his hair, trying to hide what she'd done moments before.  She saw his eyes sparkle with amusement as he realized what she was doing.  "You don't want everyone knowing we were back here making out, do you?" She asked, running her thumb across his lips a few times, trying to get rid of the pink lip gloss that had gotten transferred during their heated exchange.

"Why not?" He shrugged with an adorable grin.

"Go on." She pushed at his chest as she chuckled.  With a quick kiss to her cheek and a wink he turned and jogged out onto the stage amidst the crowd's cheers.  "How you guys doing tonight?" He asked and Rachel shook her head as she chuckled to herself. 

She wrapped one arm around her stomach, trying to control the butterflies that felt like they were going to escape, as she brought her other hand up to her mouth.  She pressed her fingers against her still tingling lips and smiled.  She watched as JC and Justin sang one of the songs they'd written together awhile ago and was supposedly going to be on JC's new album--whenever he decided to release it.  He'd told her, when he'd given her the pass a couple days ago, that he and Justin were going to be doing one song together so she was surprised when Justin was the one who walked backstage after the song--not JC.  Rachel watched as Justin was surrounded by several people who helped him change costume then turned and watched, intrigued, as JC sat down at the piano that was up on the stage.

"I hope you guys don't mind," JC said, adjusting the microphone next to the piano, "But I've got another song I want to sing."  Rachel smiled as a few of the girls closest to where she was shrieked excitedly.  "Some of you may have heard this song.  It's been circulating for awhile now.  I wrote it a few years ago and I..." he cleared his throat and looked over the piano at Rachel, his eyes instantly connecting with hers, sending a tingle down her spine.  "I want to dedicate it tonight to someone very important to me." He said.  "Here we go."

Rachel's heart sped up as she recognized the chords he began playing.  Her knees felt weak and she watched, transfixed as JC sang--his eyes staying locked on hers for the majority of the song--his words going straight to her heart. 

I could be the first to let you know that nothing means anything.

Now I'm standing here outside your door, in the pouring rain

And I can't believe,

Nothing's supposed to get to me.

Now I'm in this misery.

I can't be with anyone since I felt our worlds collide.

It's like I almost died.

The way you make me feel, I'm changing,

You got me breaking down inside.

Baby can't you see?

You ruined me for life.

She couldn't breathe.  He finished the song to shouts and applause, and Rachel leaned back against the wall her breath coming in shallow gasps as her heart pounded wildly.  She placed her hand over her chest and looked up when she heard him approach.  Her eyes connected with his and she threw her arms around his neck as she kissed him.  His own arms wound around her as he eagerly returned her kiss. 

She'd first heard the song he'd just sung a couple years ago and had immediately fallen in love with it.  The song was beautiful and his voice was amazing when he sang it, but it meant so much more to her now.  He had successfully gone and made it "their song."  Finally she pulled back and licked her lips.  She didn't know how much more she could take tonight.  Between Justin's song and his and then the amazing kisses they'd shared, her heart couldn't take much more without her fearing for her health--surely it wasn't healthy for it to be beating as strongly as it was for as long as it had been.

"Rachel, I..." He paused as the concert went on around them.

"I know." Rachel answered as she tightened her arms around his neck and kissed him again. 

"No." He said, pulling back and looking at her intently.  "No, I need to say this and you need to hear it."  He lifted one hand and placed it on her face.  "I love you." He said.  He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her lips that went straight to her heart.  "I love you."

Rachel didn't remember very much of the concert after that--she knew Justin did several more songs, but she couldn't remember which ones.  When Justin finished and found them backstage, asking if they wanted to go to a club with him, her eyes connected with JC's and she smiled when she read the same longing she felt in his eyes.  She had absolutely no desire whatsoever to spend anymore time with Justin tonight.  She only wanted to be with JC-to explore these new feelings and bask in the love shining in his eyes.

 ~~~~~  

"No thanks." JC answered Justin though his eyes remained on Rachel, his heart pounding.  "Maybe next time." 

"Alrighty then." Justin replied with a shrug of his shoulder.  "I'll catch you guys later." He turned and left leaving them alone.

"Are you..." JC paused as he looked at Rachel.  He was surprised to find he was nervous.  "Do you want to go back to my place?" He asked, hoping he was reading the message in her eyes correctly. 

"Or mine."  She replied and he felt his heart soar.  With a smile he took her hand and they walked out to his car.

The ride back was an intense but sweet kind of torture.  He was wound tighter than he could ever remember being.  He wanted to just pull the car over somewhere and coax Rachel into the backseat--but they weren't teenagers trying to sneak around behind their parent's backs, and Rachel deserved better.  Besides. He told himself as he glanced behind him at the backseat of his car.  That seat is way too small for us to do anything really worthwhile back there.  He looked over at Rachel as she sat looking out the window.  She was putting on a calm front but he could tell she was just as anxious as he was about what was about to happen.  He reached over and took her hand, threading his fingers through hers and smiled at her reassuringly when she looked over at him. 

~~~~~

What am I doing? Rachel asked herself as doubt began to fill her.  She could read JC loud and clear and she was suddenly feeling very nervous and insecure about what they were about to do as she sat looking out the window of his car.  What am I doing?  She thought again.  There was still so much she had to tell him but she knew there wouldn't be any talking going on between them tonight.  Am I seriously going to sleep with him? She questioned.  She needed a sign.  Something that let her know things were going to be okay. 

Her heart leapt as JC took a hold of her hand just then and smiled at her and she allowed herself to relax against the seat as they continued driving.  She focused on the feel of his hand in hers, her stomach beginning to quiver and a tingle ran down her spine.  This is crazy.  She thought.  Absolutely crazy!  Any moment I'm going to wake up and find out this whole night has been a dream.  There's no way this is really happening.  But it was, and as JC began playing with her fingers--his thumb tracing circles in her palm--she shivered.  Rachel closed her eyes and swallowed as goose bumps broke over her skin.

Before she knew it he was pulling into his driveway and she was following him inside.  They were barely inside when Rachel found herself pressed back against the wall while JC hovered above her--one arm pressed against the wall above her head while his other hand found her hip.  He leaned into her and Rachel ran her hands up his chest as he slowly nuzzled her ear and softly brushed his lips along her jaw.  He let out a low, sexy groan and she smiled as she wound her arms around his neck and captured his mouth with hers.

He gathered her fully in his arms and somehow they made it from the kitchen, up the stairs to his bedroom, but Rachel really didn't know how.  His mouth was far too distracting and she'd given up paying attention to anything but the way he was making her feel.

"Why..." She began but had to bite her bottom lip to keep in a moan as his mouth moved down her neck.  "I...oh..." The moan she'd been holding in escaped as he pulled her tightly against him and his mouth work its way across her collarbone and back up her neck.  "Mmmm..." She struggled to breathe as he placed a kiss below her ear.  "W-why did we come back here?  My place was closer."

"I have a bigger bed." He answered roughly in her ear.

"How do you know?" She asked with a chuckle as she pulled back and looked at him.  "You've never seen my bed."

He looked at her, his eyes dark.  He unwound his arms from around her and put his hands on her face.  He placed a lingering kiss to one side of her mouth, then the other and Rachel felt herself slowly melting. "Let's just say," he said, his lips moving against hers.  "I've had a lot of fantasies involving you...and this bed...since that day at the furniture store."  Rachel smiled as he brushed his lips across hers.  "Indulge me." He whispered, taking possession of her mouth fully and making her shiver. 

~~~~~

He kissed her slowly, deeply, passionately--taking his time exploring her mouth and trying to memorize the way she tasted.  He worked to slowly move them closer to the bed, one step at a time.  But just as they reached his final destination, Rachel stepped out of his arms.  He stood looking at her, his chest rising and falling as a sultry smile appeared on her lips, making his mouth go dry.  She slowly raised her hands behind her head and began pulling the pins from her hair--letting them fall to the floor one by one--and his stomach flipped as her hair finally fell down around her shoulders.  She looked up at him through her lashes seductively and he suddenly forgot how to breathe.  She was so temptingly beautiful he had to touch her, but as he reached for her she grabbed on to his wrists and kept his arms away from her--pinning them to his side.  With a pointed look she released them then slowly began unbuttoning his vest.  He closed his eyes and his stomach quivered as he felt her hands move up his chest and shoulders, moving the piece of clothing down his arms until it fell at their feet.  She leaned towards him and put one hand on his face while she placed a lingering kiss to the opposite corner of his mouth.  He turned his head in an attempt to end her teasing and kiss her fully, but she stepped away from him again leaving him wanting. 

JC opened his eyes and watched as she again reached behind her and unclasped the necklace she'd been wearing all night.  Her earrings and bracelets were removed next and as she reached around him and placed them on the nightstand he closed his eyes--inhaling the scent of her sweet, intoxicating perfume--his heart skipping a beat or two.  As she stood before him again his knees about gave out.  He stood looking at her for a moment, completely captivated by her, then finally pulled her into his arms and kissed her hungrily.  He soon found himself sitting on the edge of the bed as Rachel placed her hands on his shoulders and straddled him.  Their mouths connected again and again and Rachel let out a few low and incredibly sexy moans as he kissed his way down her neck.  JC smiled against her skin and placed a warm, lingering kiss to her collarbone and felt her shudder in his arms.  He felt the trembling of her fingertips as she touched his face.  He fell back and turned on his side, bringing her with him until she was on her back beneath him, her hair fanning out around her.  He rested his weight on one arm while his other hand skimmed along her neck, raising visible goose bumps as he looked at her.        

"Rachel," He said, speaking at last and breaking the spell between them.  "Rachel, we don't have to do this." He watched as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him.  The way she looked--her lips beautifully red and swollen, the enticing flush on her cheeks, desire burning in her eyes--made him struggle for breath.  His body was aching for her, but he needed to give her one last chance to back out.  He needed to make sure she didn't feel pressured.  He needed to know that this was what she really wanted.  "I don't want to push you."  He said, as his hand continued to caress her incredibly soft skin.  "I told you I'd be patient.  If you're not ready--" 

She placed a finger against his lips, silencing him.  She pulled his head down and kissed him softly as her arms wound around his neck.  "Je t'aime.  Je a veux." She said in French, causing his desire to flare exponentially as her eyes held his intently.  "I love you." She assured him, his heart thumping in his cest.  "I want to." Her warm breath hit his lips and he was lost.  He couldn't deny her--or himself--any longer.  With a groan he settled his weight on top of her and captured her mouth again, feeling the connection they had all the way to his toes.  Never before had he felt this way.  Never before had someone touched him to his core the way she had and did on a regular basis.  Never before had he loved someone the way he loved Rachel and as he tasted her sweet, intoxicating kiss again and again--as he heard her moan his name softly--he knew.  She truly had ruined him.  There would never be anyone else for him but her.      

~~~~~~

As sunlight began filtering through the windows the next morning, slowly illuminating the bedroom, Rachel stirred.  She fought against the urge to open her eyes and instead burrowed deeper into the pillow beneath her, inhaling the subtle scent of the man whose bed it was that lingered in the fabric.  The house was quiet and peaceful, she was warm and comfortably drowsy, the excitement from the night before had long ago subsided and she allowed herself to just enjoy the pleasantly content feelings surrounding her. 

Against her wishes, consciousness began taking hold of her further though, and she slowly became aware of several things.  The first was JC's strong arms and the way they were wrapped around her as he held her possessively and securely against his warm body.  The second thing Rachel noticed was the fact that his chest moved in and out against her back in the same rhythm her own chest was rising and falling.  They were breathing in unison, as if they were one body, and it made her smile.  She felt him stir behind her, his legs tangled with hers as his arms tightened slightly around her-his lips brushed across the back of her neck sending a delightful shiver down her spine as he nuzzled closer to her before relaxing again. 

Goose bumps enveloped Rachel as she thought about what they'd shared last night.  She'd taken a leap of faith and he'd been there to catch her.  He'd taken it slow--sensing her hesitancy at times and giving her the time she needed to feel comfortable with everything.  Every touch conveyed his passion and devotion.  Every kiss communicated his love in such a way as made it impossible for her to question it.  He'd been everything she'd ever dreamed of and so much more.  She'd been afraid that memories from the past would intrude on them--making being with him difficult--but they hadn't.  He had loved her so completely she hadn't had time or reason to think of anyone else.  As sleep overtook her again, Rachel found herself wondering how she'd ever survived without him and why she'd let fear keep her from him for so long.   

When she woke again a few hours later, Rachel turned over--reaching her hand out for JC--and discovered she was alone.  Sitting up, Rachel held the sheet up against her as she looked at his vacant pillow, then around the room.  "Jace?" She called out, thinking he was probably just in the bathroom.  When he didn't answer she got out of bed and grabbed her discarded clothes from the floor.  After getting dressed she ran her fingers through her hair as she yawned and made her way downstairs.  As she reached the bottom step Rachel heard someone on the piano in the front room.  Holding her breath she sneaked forward the remaining steps and listened as JC's rich, smooth voice filled the room.

I wish I could go back in time
I wish I could rewind--take back all the things I said
And tell you what's really in my head

I didn't know what was missing before
Until you walked out my door
I need you more than words can say
Don't want to waste another day

I need to tell you what I know
Without you my life is just a show
Too many things have come and gone
I need your love

Rachel leaned against the wall as she watched him-his eyes were closed as he bent over the piano keys-her hand resting against her chest as the emotion behind his words and the passion of the music he was playing got to her.  The house grew quiet as he stopped playing. 

"Too many things have come and gone." She heard him as he sang the last part over.  "I need your love.  Ooh girl, I need your love from now on." He paused and she heard him play around on the piano for a moment, then sing a few more lines. 

Give me a chance.

I'll make it right.

Please don't give up,

We can still win this fight!

The music stopped but she stayed rooted in place as he opened his eyes and looked at her. 

~~~~~  

"Good morning." JC smiled as he looked at her over the piano.  Rachel smiled as he got up and walked towards her.

"That was a beautiful." She admitted as she allowed him to pull her into his arms.  He smiled but didn't answer as he bent his head and pressed his lips against hers.  He kissed her several times then pulled back and looked at her.  He had always thought Rachel was beautiful, but this morning she took his breath away.   Last night had been incredible and waking up this morning with her in his arms had been like a dream come true.  He'd watched her for several minutes, completely and utterly captivated by her as she slept.  He'd left her in his bed an hour ago not because he wanted to, but because inspiration had come knocking and he'd needed to get his thoughts and feelings out so they would finally leave him alone.

His smile faltered however when he saw the sparkle slowly leave her beautiful brown eyes as she continued looking at him.  "What's the matter?" He asked concerned.

"Was that the song you played for me a few weeks ago?" She asked.

"Yeah." He nodded.  "It, uh...it sounds a lot better up here on a real piano as opposed to the keyboard, don't you think?" 

"Is it about me?" She asked.  He said nothing so she asked again.  "Is the song about me, Jace?" 

He nodded slowly, wondering what she would say and do.  He'd written songs before with certain girls in mind, but never one this deep--this honest and emotional.  Though what they'd shared last night had been intensely passionate and intimate, and he had given her his heart, music was such an integral part of who he was that he felt like he was giving her a piece of his soul right now by admitting that he had written this song about her.  He watched as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she continued looking at him. 

"We need to talk."

JC watched as Rachel began pacing the front room like a caged tiger.  She opened her mouth three or four times, but nothing came out.  As the minutes continued to tick by he began to grow concerned.  What was it she had to tell him that was this difficult for her to vocalize?  It was a little disconcerting to him that even after all they had shared she still found it hard to be completely honest with him.  Finally he couldn't take it any longer and he stopped Rachel's movement by putting his hands on her arms.  "Rachel." He forced her to look at him.  "I'm not going anywhere.  Whatever you have to tell me isn't going to change the way I feel about you."

"You don't know that." She replied bitterly.

"Yes I do." He assured her.  "I promise.  Take a deep breath and start at the beginning."

~~~~~

Rachel stood looking at JC for another few seconds then, taking a deep breath as he suggested, she began her story.

"When I was seventeen, my mom got sick." She started.  "I told you that she died, but what I didn't tell you is that about six months later my dad remarried.  I was shocked.  I was hurt.  I didn't understand.  I didn't understand how he could be married to my mom for twenty years and then six months after she died marry someone so completely different.  Did he not love her?  Did the relationship they'd shared mean nothing to him?"  Rachel asked.  JC said nothing as he sat back down on the couch watching and listening to her.  "I don't think I would have had a problem with him remarrying if he'd waited a little longer, and if he hadn't married someone like Sherry."

"Why don't you like her?" He asked.

"Nothing's ever good enough for her.  I was constantly being compared to her own children, who apparently are perfect and can't do anything wrong.  I put up with her snide comments and putdowns for as long as I could." She told him.  "When I hurt my knee and had my surgery she kept telling me she couldn't believe how I'd made such a stupid mistake.  I blew my one chance, she told me, and it looked like I'd wasted my life because she didn't know what I was going to do now since I wasn't good at anything else."

"What?" JC asked in exasperation.  "That's absurd!  You are an amazing designer and it was an accident!"

She smiled at him.  "I know what she told me isn't true, but at the time it really hurt.  I was already insecure because everything I'd worked so hard for had suddenly been taken away from me.  I was confused and disappointed and she wouldn't let it go.  I uh...I moved out after that.  I got an apartment and became a hermit.  I didn't talk to anyone I didn't have to.  I didn't go anywhere I didn't absolutely have to go.  I didn't know who I was anymore.  The identity I'd always had as a dancer and the future I had planned on had been taken away.  My mother had died and my dad had remarried and was now obligated to a different family.  Megan had gotten a scholarship to Colorado State and had moved away to go to school.  I went to class and work and then went home everyday.  I was really struggling with who I was."  Rachel sat down on the couch and was surprised when she felt JC's fingers on her face.  He said nothing as he reached over and wiped away the tears she hadn't known had fallen.  She looked over at him as he sat there, quietly listening to her.  She saw the empathy in his eyes and knew he understood her feelings--he'd expressed similar ones to her a few weeks ago.  They both knew what it was like to struggle with their identities.

"Then I met Brian." She said, her heart really beginning to pound.  She looked down in her lap, nervously twisting her fingers.  JC reached over and took hold of one of her hands.  She looked over at him and he smiled at her reassuringly, patiently waiting until she was ready to continue.

"Brian was..." Rachel paused.  "Brian and I met at school.  He was in my math class and I latched on to him, probably quicker than I should have, but he was the only one in any of my classes that made any effort whatsoever to get to know me.  We originally started spending time together because he needed a tutor.  Then we started hanging out and eventually dating.  He was..." She stopped again and JC squeezed her hand in silent support.  "He was nice and I liked spending time with him.  He helped fix my car when it broke down a couple different times.  He was a friend when I really needed one, but he was also very...touchy.  We had been dating for about a month when he started pressuring me to sleep with him.  I kept telling him no, but he kept getting more and more insistent.  Somehow I managed to always change the subject and brush him off.  I liked him, but I wasn't sure I loved him and I definitely wasn't ready to sleep with him."  Rachel stopped her narrative as she tried to gain control of her breathing.  Beside Megan, and her therapist, she'd never told anyone what had happened next and she was scared.

"Megan moved back home that summer and we got an apartment together.  She didn't like Brian.  There was something about him that made her uneasy and I wish..." Rachel closed her eyes.  "I wish I would have listened to her when she told me he was bad news."

"What happened?" JC asked quietly.

"We...we went to a party one night at one of his friend's places.  Things got a little wild and I got pretty drunk.  He...he must have put something in my drink." Rachel stopped when she heard JC suck in a breath as he caught on to what she was telling him.  She wanted to look over at him but knew if she did she'd break down.  She'd done a pretty good job at holding back the majority of her tears, and she didn't need anything to set her off.  She knew, once she started the tears wouldn't stop for a while.  "I tried to get him to stop." She continued quietly.  "He kept telling me that I owed him after everything he'd done for me." She glanced over at JC and saw his blue eyes flashing with anger.  His entire body was tense, his chest rising and falling quickly as he sat, holding her hand.  "I couldn't move." She said.  "I couldn't move.  His hands were everywhere and then he...he..."  She paused and blinked back the tears, but it did no good-they fell anyway.  "I don't remember a whole lot about that night." She said.  "A lot of things are still fuzzy, but what I do remember is what he did to me.  It's haunted me for four years."

"Did you go to the police?" He asked.

"No." She shook her head.  "He left town.  I don't know where he is."

"They could have found him, Rachel." JC said.  "Why didn't you go to the police?"

"Because I was humiliated." She admitted quietly.  "I couldn't.  I told Megan what had happened later, because she's my best friend and she knew something had happened, but I didn't want anybody else to know."

~~~~~~

JC let go of Rachel's hand and put his hands in his hair, his elbows resting on his knees as he processed what she'd just told him and tried to control the anger boiling inside him.  She'd been raped--by her boyfriend.  No wonder she had been so skittish when it came to deeper physical affection beyond just kissing.  He wanted to track this Brian guy down and beat the hell out of him for what he had done to her.  He also wanted to kick himself for some of the things he'd said and the times he'd tried to push her.  The things he'd said to her the night he'd been drunk came back to him and he cringed in self-recrimination.  He had been such a jerk to her.  If he'd known, maybe they could have avoided a lot of the crap they'd gone through.  He scrubbed his hands over his face. 

"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

His head snapped up as he looked at her.  "Why in the world would I be mad at you?" He asked, dumbfounded at her question.  "Rachel, I'm sorry." He said as he looked at her, his heart swelling with love and pride.  "I am so sorry.  For everything."  She'd been through something nobody should have to go through, but she'd managed to overcome everything to be the incredibly amazing woman sitting next to him.  How had she done it?  How on earth had she overcome it all?  He reached over and gathered her in his arms.  She leaned into him and he kissed the top of her head as he closed his eyes and just held her--offering her his silent support and comfort. 

"You're not mad at me or...or disgusted at what I just told you?" She asked quietly.

"No." He assured her as he leaned back and looked at her.  "Do I hate this guy for what he did to you?  Hell yeah!  Do I want to hunt him down right now and kill him?  You better believe it.  Do I wish you would have told me sooner?  Yes.  We could have avoided some of the...problems we've had, but Rachel," He brought her face forward and leaned his forehead against hers.  "I'm not mad at you.  I love you." He said, watching as she closed her eyes as if trying to absorb his words.  "It wasn't your fault." He told her.  "None of it was your fault."

"The very first time we met you asked me about my tattoo." She said.  "Do you remember?"

He nodded against her.  "Yes.  Lucky."

"Yeah."  She nodded and finally opened her eyes, looking at him.  "You asked me if I was and I told you yes."

He smiled at her but she leaned back, away from him, and looked down at her hands in her lap.  "There's more?" He guessed and she nodded.  What else could she have possibly been through?  "What..." He paused as a possibility came to mind that made him sick--not because it would affect and forever change his life, but because of what she had possibly gone through.  "Did...did you get pregnant?" He asked.  Did she have a child somewhere?  If she did, he knew it didn't live with her.  Had she been forced to give it up?  He suddenly remembered her asking him once about being adopted and his heart broke even more for her.

"No." She shook her head.  "No, I didn't get pregnant." She assured him and he breathed a sigh of relief on her part.  Although he'd been old enough to remember his birth mother and the whole situation involving his adoption, he couldn't even imagine what his mother had gone through making that decision.  "That's one reason for my tattoo." She explained.  "I didn't get pregnant and I don't have any diseases." She added.

"What's the other reason?" He asked. 

Rachel sighed heavily.  "I thought I was struggling before I met Brian, but after he...after he raped me," he watched as she cringed when she said the words and just wanted to gather her in his arms again-to forever protect her from anything and anyone that could and would hurt her.  "After that I was a complete mess.  I didn't eat.  I didn't sleep.  I never left the apartment.  It was a very dark time." She looked over at him.  "A very dark time.  I uh...I finally reached a point where I couldn't handle things any longer.  I felt so dirty and worthless and humiliated.  I felt like I was suffocating in a pit of darkness and I couldn't breathe.  I didn't know how to get out of it so I just decided it was better to end it all.  I had it all planned.  Megan had left for the week for a family reunion so I was home alone.  I wrote a few letters, then started gathering up all the pills I could find in the house.  But Megan came home early." She told him and JC made a mental note to thank Megan the next time he saw her for everything she'd done. 

"I was surprised." She continued.  "I wasn't expecting her to walk through the door.  I asked her what she was doing, but all she said was to pack an overnight bag and then we drove to San Diego for the weekend.  That's when I finally told her everything that had happened with Brian and how I had been planning on killing myself before she came home.  We both cried and she convinced me to see a therapist when we got home, which I did.  That's also when I got the tattoo--to remind me how lucky I was to have someone who cared so much about me and to have another chance at life.  So there you go." She said, sighing in resignation.  "That's my crazy, messed up life in a nutshell.  That's the reason I freaked out that night after the club when things started heating up between us-I was scared.  That's why I ran a few weeks ago-the things you said brought back a lot of memories.  I never thought I would fall so completely in love with you, JC.  These last couple months with you, though they've been one hell of an emotional roller coaster, have been amazing."  She confessed. "But if you don't want to be with someone who has all this emotional baggage I'll understand."

"Who doesn't have emotional baggage?" He asked, looking at her as if she were crazy.  "I'm pretty sure I told you all about mine a few weeks ago." He said.  "Rachel, nobody's perfect.  We all have skeletons in our closet.  We all have things in our past that we don't want other people finding out about.  We're all insecure about things.  We're all the same when it comes to that."

"Yes, but...you're a celebrity.  You live a charmed life." Rachel replied, spreading her arms wide to indicate his huge house.  "It's kind of hard to say we're the same when you have access to everything money can buy and your skeletons are so tiny compared to mine."

"Underneath everything I'm just a guy." JC said softly. 

Rachel laughed humorlessly and felt the suspicious pricking of tears behind her eyes.  "You aren't ‘just a guy'." She sniffed as she stood up.  "You're JC Chasez: World Famous Pop Star, with your incredible voice and musical talent, and your amazing good looks." Rachel pointed at him.  "You've had, and still have, women around the world throwing themselves at you--more than willing to do whatever you want them to do.  While I..." her shoulders slumped slightly as she looked at him; her tears beginning to fall again.  "I'm just a silly girl from Arizona who got the chance to live out her teenage fantasies for a little while.  But it's time for her to grow up and accept the fact that her fantasies are just that: fantasies.  And they should be left in the past."

"Rachel, stop." JC stood and took a step towards her, but Rachel held out a hand, stopping him.

"Fairytales aren't real, JC."  She turned away from him.  "As much as we want them to be, they're just not.  I--"  Rachel was stopped by JC's hand on her arm as he turned her to face him.  She looked at him in surprise for a split second before his lips crushed her own.  She inhaled sharply as he held her face in a gentle manner completely opposite the almost violent way his mouth was attacking her own.

As her tears continued to fall Rachel allowed herself to kiss him back.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his dark hair.  She could almost literally feel her pain leaving as JC readily accepted it and threw it away.  At last his fevered attack slowed and he brought his head up, his blue eyes connecting with her brown ones. 

"I love you, Rachel.  You aren't just ‘some girl' to me.  I thought we'd already established that fact.  You sassed your way into my life and nothing's been the same since."  He sighed as he brought one hand to her face as his fingers worked to wipe away her tears.  "You're smart, funny, and sophisticated.  You're sweet, beautiful and sexy.  You have a terrific smile, an addictive laugh, incredible eyes and great set of legs.  You make me laugh." He leaned his forehead against hers and Rachel closed her eyes.  "You make me think.  I love that you're not afraid to challenge me or my opinions.  You make me happy." He was quiet for a moment.  "And I haven't felt that way in a long time.  I need you." He said quietly.

"You don't need me, JC." Rachel shook her head.  "You did just fine before you met me.  You may think you need me, but--" She stopped when he let out an unexpected yet remarkably sexy growl of frustration.

"You're not listening to me.  I.  Need.  You."  He stepped away from her. "I need you, Rachel Kline-you're spunk and attitude; your fire and determination; your friendship and passion.  You've become the sanity in my crazy life.  You're the one I think about, the one I dream about, and now you're the one I sing about." Rachel smiled through the tears that had once again begun falling.  "I love you." He said placing his fingers beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him.  "Every irritating, opinionated, mischievous, messed up, sassy, fun-loving, incredible, sexy bit of you."  Rachel threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his as she kissed him again and again. 

"You know," She said, licking her lips as she finally leaned back and looked at him.  "If someone would have told me ten years ago, when I was at your concert, that one day I'd be standing in your living room while you professed your undying love to me, I would have told them they were completely crazy."

JC laughed as he tightened his arms around her and placed a soft kiss to her lips.  "I would have laughed and then probably had them committed to the nearest psychiatric hospital." He confessed.  "Crazy how life turns out, huh?"  Rachel nodded as she smiled at him.  "What concert did you go to?" He asked in curiosity.

"Megan and I went to two." She told him.  "We saw you guys in Vegas for No Strings Attached and then we were at the PopOdyssy Madison Square Garden concert." JC narrowed his eyes and he became suddenly serious as he studied her for a moment.  "What?" She asked at the weird look her was giving her.

"What were wearing in New York?" He asked.  Her heart leapt for a moment-had he seen her?!-until she saw the teasing sparkle in his eyes.

"Oh, you're such a punk!" She replied, playfully hitting his chest as he began laughing.  She tried to wiggle out of his arms but he wouldn't let her go. 

"You didn't go to any concerts in Phoenix?" He asked.

"No." Rachel shook her head.  "Almost."

"Almost?"  He looked at her in curiosity. 

"We had tickets.  I even had backstage passes to meet you guys."

"What happened?" He asked. 

"Food poisoning." Rachel replied.  "I've never been so sick."

"Oh man." JC chuckled.  "That sucks."

"Yeah, it did." She said.  Rachel sighed.  "I was so in love with you back then." She admitted, reaching up and running her hand through his hair.  "When I won the backstage passes on the radio I almost died."  JC laughed. 

"What were you going to do if you'd been able to come?" He asked.

"I wanted to give you a hug and I was going to try and slip you my number." She grinned at him.

Again he laughed.  "Do you know how many girls slipped their numbers to us over the years?  I'm glad we didn't meet that way." He said.

"Why?"

"Because I would have been in ‘celebrity mode'." He smiled sheepishly.  "I probably wouldn't have remembered you."

"You didn't remember me after Megan's wedding, so how would that have been any different?" She replied without thinking then bit her lip when the words she'd spoken registered in her brain.  He said nothing just nodded in acceptance as he looked at her-his blue eyes hurt and remorseful and she felt horrible for what she'd just said.

"I'm sorry." She told him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.  "I didn't mean it to be hurtful." She said then pressed her lips against his.  Rachel smiled as she leaned back and looked at him.  "It doesn't matter that you wouldn't have remembered me or that you didn't remember me.  I got more than I ever imagined I'd get by going to that stupid meet and greet."  He smiled and she relaxed against him, laying her head against his chest.  "I love you." She said as she tightened her arms around his waist and lifted her head to kiss his jaw.

"Enough to do something for me?" He asked looking down at her.

She pulled back and looked at him suspiciously.  "Well, that depends."  She said.  He said nothing for a moment, just looked at her.  "What do you want me to do?" She asked.

"I need you to help me finish our song."   

~~~~~~

"Okay." Rachel sighed against him the next evening.  "What do you think?" She held the piece of paper she'd been scribbling on for the last hour up above her head.  "I've been thinking about it all day."

JC took it from her and began reading what she'd written as he put his arm around the front of her shoulders.  She'd come over after work and they'd ordered some Chinese.  They'd been sitting downstairs on the couch together--Rachel writing as he idly surfed through the channels on the TV.  Rachel had her legs stretched out across the cushions and JC had one leg up on the couch--his leg bent between her and the back cushions--while his other foot was down on the floor and his back rested against the arm of the couch.  Rachel put her hand on his bent knee as she leaned back against his chest-her head nestled between his neck and shoulder as she waited for his thoughts.

"I like it." He said after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah?" She questioned.  He could hear the hesitancy in her voice and tightened his arm around her. 

"Yeah." He replied, kissing the side of her face.  "Come on." He said, releasing her and moving to stand up.  He took her hand as they walked upstairs and towards the front room.  Turning on the light, he propped the piece of paper she'd given him on the music stand and sat down on the bench.  "Sit down." He said, scooting over and patting the bench beside him.  Rachel did so and he began playing the song she'd heard the day before.  He sang the first couple stanzas he'd written and the chorus then turned to her.  "Now it's your turn." He said, his fingers continuing to play.  She missed her cue, so he started over-smiling at her encouragingly.  Finally she began singing timidly as he helped her out with the melody.    

Sometimes sorry doesn't mean as much
But I'm going crazy without your touch
Wish I could rewind the clock
Slow down time or make it stop.

When I walked away
I didn't know what to say
Holding in and holding back
Sometimes feeling trapped

I need to tell you how I feel
Without you my life isn't real
At first you were a dream fulfilled
But now you're the only thing that's real

"Join me on the chorus, this time." He said as he easily picked out a harmony-their voices blending together and giving Rachel goose bumps. 

Give me a chance
I'll make it right
Please don't give up
We can still win this fight

JC continued playing, but Rachel didn't know anymore of the words, so she just sat and watched him-completely mesmerized.

Now here we are together
A fairy tale come true
Who would have known I'd mean this much to you

After everything that we've been through
It's nice to be close to you
Through all the bad and all the good
We've finally understood

Finally together singing our song
Who'd have predicted a be this strong
We've both made mistakes,
But we're both been changed
Forever begins today

He stopped playing, the last chord fading out as he turned and looked at her, his eyes holding hers steadily. 

"That was..." Rachel trailed off, completely at a loss for words.  Instead she just leaned forward and kissed him.  He lifted one hand, his fingers tangling in her hair as he kissed her back-the emotion and passion he'd generated with his music building between them as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss.  When at last he pulled back Rachel licked her lips, loving how his taste lingered there, and tried to remember how to breathe.  "Wow." She smiled at him.

He kissed her softly once more then turned back to the keys in front of him.  "I'll work on my part and get yours written out then we can go down to the studio this weekend and lay it down."

"Excuse me?" Rachel replied, completely taken back.  "Lay what down?" She asked.

"The track." He looked at her.  "We can go down and work on recording the song."

"We?" She asked feeling panicked.  "Jace, I can't..." She shook her head as her heart began pounding.

"What do you mean you can't?" He asked.  "This is our song.  No one else can sing it with me."

"Sure they can." She countered.  "There are hundreds--thousands--of women who could sing this song with you."

"Technically, yes." He answered.  "But none of them can put the emotion and passion behind it like you and I can together.  Please?" He asked turning and taking her hands in his.  "I've heard you sing on a couple different occasions.  You have a great voice and you just heard for yourself that we're pretty good together." He smiled.  "You can do this."

"I don't know..." She hesitated.  Sure she'd been told she had a good singing voice before, but she usually only sang in her car or when nobody was really around.  She'd never taken voice lessons.  She hadn't been in choir in high school.  There was no way she could go and record a song with him!

"What do you want?" He asked.

"What?" She asked, with a chuckle.

"To sing with me." He clarified.  "What do you want?  I'm not above bribery to get what I want from you.  I can get you anything you want." He promised.

"Anything?" She asked, cocking a brow.

"Well, you've already got me." He replied with a cocky smile.  "What else do you want?"

"Hmmm...your firstborn?" Rachel replied with a straight face, desperately trying to hold in her laughter when he swallowed and got a panicked look on his face. His blue eyes widened as he searched hers frantically.  He opened his mouth wordlessly a few times.   

"I-I-I don't know if I'm ready for that." He finally stuttered and she started laughing.

"Neither am I." She confessed, still laughing as she put her head on his shoulder.  "I was just kidding." She told him and he sighed dramatically in relief.  "But you did say I could have whatever I wanted."

"My bad." He replied with a chuckle.  "I'll try to be a little more careful with my promises in the future."  He was quiet for a moment then, "Please?" He asked again.  "I wrote this for you-it was your voice I kept hearing in my head as I worked on it.  I want to record it with you."

How could she resist that?  "Okay." She relented as she raised her head and kissed his cheek.  "But just remember, Christmas is coming up." She smiled at him as he chuckled. 

"Oh, don't you worry." He replied, smiling devilishly.  "I've got Christmas covered."

"Jace?" She called downstairs, thinking he was down in the studio, but he didn't answer.  With a shrug she was about to leave when she heard a rhythmic thumping coming from the backyard.  Curious, she stepped to the window and smiled as she watched JC dribble a basketball a few times and then shoot it towards the hoop at the end of the court.  The ball hit the rim and bounced off landing in the grass beside the concrete.  Rachel watched as he jogged towards the ball, and smiled as he easily made the shot from the sidelines.  As if they had a mind of their own, her feet moved her towards the back door and she made her way across the yard to where he was running around dribbling the ball.

"Hey!" He said, smiling when he saw her.  He took another shot, the ball swishing through the net, then turned and faced her.

"Hey." Rachel replied, tucking her hands into the pockets of her jacket and shivering as a cold breeze hit her.  She looked up at the overcast sky, wondering if it was going to rain.  It had been threatening all day, but so far nothing had happened.  "I um...I just came to bring you back your key." She said looking down at the sneakers on her feet.  She'd spent most of the day running errands around town, picking out furniture and window coverings for the other projects she was working on and she was tired.  She looked at JC again and watched as he grabbed the hem of the baggy T-shirt he was wearing and raised the fabric to wipe the sweat from his face. Rachel swallowed and raised a brow as she looked at his stomach and chest appreciatively.  Damn! She thought, her stomach flipping as she recalled exactly how his skin felt and tasted.

"Why would you do that?" He asked, looking at her strangely.

"Huh?" She asked, completely distracted by his incredible body.

"I don't want the key back." He replied.

"I didn't want to assume anything." Rachel told him.  JC rolled his eyes then tossed the basketball to her as he grinned.  She barely had time to take her hands from her pockets and catch it before it hit her.

"The key's yours.  Come on." He said, gesturing towards the court with his head.  "Come play with me."

"No.  I'm terrible.  I can't play basketball." Rachel said, throwing the ball back at him.

"Sure you can." He countered, throwing the ball back at her.  "Anyone can play basketball.  It's easy."

"Jace..."  She shook her head.

"Just shoot the ball, Rachel." He told her.  She looked at him for a moment then stepped past him and walked towards the basket.  She stood holding the basketball in front of her as she looked up at the basket.  This is ridiculous. She thought.  I'm going to make a complete fool out of myself.  She threw the ball towards the net but missed it by a long shot.

"See." She said. 

"Try again." He said, jogging over to where the ball had landed and tossing it to her again.

"This is stupid." Rachel grumbled.  "I don't know--"

"Hold the ball like this." JC said interrupting her as he came up behind her and put his arms around her-his hands guiding hers into the correct position on the ball as her entire body tingled.  She fought against the desire to turn and look at him as he put his head down next to hers.  "Raise your arms up like this and bend your knees a little." Rachel did as he instructed, feeling him mimic the movements behind her.  "Aim towards the net and as you come up, throw the ball."  He let go of her and stepped back as she jumped slightly and threw the basketball.  She watched as the ball moved through the air and swished through the net. 

"Yeah!" She exclaimed, turning around and smiling triumphantly at him.  He laughed as he picked up the ball and began dribbling it. 

"See, I told you it was easy." He said.  "Have you ever played Horse?" He asked, cocking the ball on his hip as he came and stood in front of her.

"I don't know." Rachel shook her head.  "Maybe.  It sounds familiar.  How do you play?"

"We take turns shooting the ball." He explained.

"That's is?"  She questioned.  "Why is it called Horse?"

"Because, for every basket you miss you get a letter until it spells out the word."  He began slowly dribbling the ball back and forth between them.

"Then what happens?"

"When you get all five letters you're out." He looked up at her and she saw a glint of something in his eyes that made her suspicious. 

"And?" She questioned.

"Well, I've always played it that the loser has to kiss one of the other players."

"Uh-huh." Rachel folded her arms across her chest as she studied his innocent expression and fought against the grin that wanted to break free.  "And what happens when you're playing with just guys?" She asked.

"This isn't a game you play with just guys." He replied with a smirk and she chuckled.

"Alright, you're on." She said, suddenly stealing the ball from him and throwing it towards the basket.  It missed.  "Damn it!" She exclaimed.

"H!" He called out, taking the ball from her and jumping as he made his shot, and then grinned at her.  They played for the next twenty minutes, laughing and teasing each other as they moved around the court. 

"Leave me alone!" Rachel laughed when JC came up behind her and tried to grab the ball from her as she tried to make her last shot.  She had to either make this shot or kiss JC--they were both tied at the moment.  Either way she really didn't care, but part of her really wanted to make this shot--to show him she could do it.  He chuckled as he stepped to the side and folded his arms as he watched her.  "Knock it off." She chuckled.

"What?" He asked, throwing his arms out in front of him.  "I'm not doing anything."

"You're staring at me.  It's making me nervous."

"I'm sorry." He replied and turned around. 

"Punk." Rachel muttered under her breath with a chuckle then threw the ball.  "Damn it!" She huffed when the ball bounced off the rim and into the grass.

"I'm waiting." He said, turning back around with a smirk.

"Yeah, I bet you are." She grumbled. 

"What was that?" He asked.

"I said you're going to have to catch me first." She replied, and then took off running towards the house.

~~~~~

JC sprinted after Rachel as she tried to get away from him.  He caught up to her as she reached the back porch and grabbed her from behind.  She screamed out and began laughing as he brought her back against him, twirling her around.  "Gotcha!" He laughed.  He brought them to a stop and allowed Rachel to place her feet back on the ground as his arms slackened around her just enough to allow her to turn and face him.  His eyes connected with hers and he felt a shot go through him.  He still found it hard to believe she was really his; that they had somehow managed to overcome the issues they'd had to find a love so incredible and all consuming it took his breath away.  How in the world had he gotten lucky enough to find himself in love with, and loved by, someone as wonderful as Rachel was?  Slowly he lowered his head.  Rachel closed her eyes as she leaned up--her lips meeting his halfway. 

She wound her arms around his neck and he moved his mouth against hers as the rain that had been threatening all day finally began to fall.  She gasped as the first cold droplets hit her face and pulled away looking up as the sky opened up completely and the rain came down heavily--quickly soaking them both.  With a smile she looked at him again and pulled his head down, kissing him passionately.  His arms tightened around her and he pulled her flush against him as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss.  He couldn't get enough of her and he dug his hands into her hair in an attempt to pull her closer.  Rachel began moving backwards and he followed her blindly, unwilling to let her go.  They stopped however, when her back came in contact with the outside wall of the house and he heard her inhale sharply.

Finally he tore his lips from hers and looked at her, both of them struggling for breath.  He ran the back of one hand across her cheek then, placing his hands on the wall to either side of her, leaned into her--pressing his weight against her as he kissed her again and again, attempting to convey his love to her with his mouth.  He felt her hands as they slipped beneath his T-shirt and groaned as her fingers moved over his stomach while her lips moved from his to brush along his jaw.

"Jace?  I've got MTV on the phone."  They broke apart and turned as Sarah came out on the patio.  "They want to know...Oh! Sorry." She smiled when she finally looked up and saw the position they were in.  She quickly went back into the house and Rachel and JC looked at each other again.

~~~~~  

"Damn assistants." JC remarked, lowering his head and kissing the corner of Rachel's jaw.  "Always getting in the way."

Rachel giggled as she put her arms around his neck.  "I was getting kind of cold anyway." She remarked.  He pulled back and looked at her, raising one brow.  "What?" She asked.

"I don't make you hot?" He asked.

"You are so cocky!" Rachel laughed.  He shrugged.  "Of course you make me hot." She assured him.  "But in case you didn't notice, it's pouring right now and it's freezing out here."  Rachel shivered at the cold and damp that had worked its way through her jacket and wondered briefly how JC was able to stand there in only a T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts acting as if it were a hot summer day.  She gasped in surprise when he suddenly bent down and swept one arm behind her knees.  "What are you doing?" She exclaimed as he scooped her up in his arms.  She put her arms around his neck as he opened the patio door and walked inside the house without a word.  He made his way upstairs and Rachel giggled when he finally dropped her on his bed then took off his wet shirt and crawled up beside her.

"Better?" He asked as he placed his hands on either side of her and began nuzzling her neck as she fell back on the mattress.

"Much." She smiled. 

~~~~~~

Rachel sighed happily as they lay in bed together that night, listening to the rain that was still falling heavily outside.  Neither of them spoke-both content in just being together.  She snuggled closer to his side then turned her head and placed a kiss on his chest.  She felt him kiss the top of her head then she shifted so she was laying across him as she looked down at him.  He was lying with one arm bent behind his head, while his other arm was around her--his fingers idly combing through her hair.  "I love you." Rachel said.  He opened his eyes and looked at her, his lips lifting in a soft smile as his blue eyes drew her in.  She leaned down and kissed him.  "I mean it." She told him.  "I love you, Joshua Scott Chasez.  More than I ever thought possible."  He held the back of her head as he pulled her down and kissed her deeply.  She giggled when he growled suddenly and rolled them so she was beneath him. 

"There are a couple of things that aren't exactly fair about this situation." He said, placing a series of kisses across her jaw and down her neck.

"Such as?" Rachel asked, winding her arms around his neck and linking her fingers together as he continued teasing her with his mouth.  

"Well," He said, finally pulling back.  He leaned over her--his elbows on either side of her on the mattress--and looked down at her.  "First of all, what you do to me when you look at me like you just did should be illegal."  Rachel grinned as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

"And second?" She asked.

"And second." He said, kissing the tip of her nose.  "You know my full name, but I don't know yours."

She smiled.  "Olivia." She told him.  "Rachel Olivia Kline.  That's me." 

"That's really pretty." He told her sincerely.  "And now I can say what I wanted to a second ago and it will mean a whole lot more.  I love you, Rachel" he kissed one corner of her mouth.  "Olivia" he kissed the other corner.  "Kline." He finished, leaning down as he pressed his lips against hers fully and Rachel became lost once more in his kiss.    

~~~~~~

"Alright, these are your headphones." JC said Saturday morning as he handed Rachel a large set of headphones.  She looked at them feeling very unsure as she took them from him.  "You'll hear the music that's been recorded through them."  Rachel put them over her head.

She looked at him as a huge grin split his face.  "What?" She questioned as she took them off, feeling very self conscious.

"You look really cute wearing those." He replied leaning towards her and kissing her quickly.  "But you don't put them on all the way."

"Why not?" She questioned.

"Because if you do, you can't hear yourself sing.  You won't be able to tell if you're on beat or off key.  Usually you put them on so only one ear is covered." He said, taking them from her as he put them half on, only covering his right ear.  "See?" He asked.  Rachel nodded.  "Or you just hold it up to your ear." He said taking them off and holding one side up to his left ear.  "Like this."

"Are you going to be in here singing too?" She asked as she took the headphones from him.

"No.  I came in yesterday and worked on my part for a bit.  So you'll be able to hear what I've already recorded when I'm in there with Zack." He said turning and pointing at the guy he'd introduced her to a few minutes ago.    

She nodded, still dumbfounded that she was even here.  How in the world did she get here?  How was it possible that the man she'd dreamt about for so long had suddenly become her reality and had somehow talked her into singing and recording a song with him?!  Rachel shook her head in amazement. 

"Okay." He smiled as he took her hand.  "I'm going to be right there." He said again pointing towards the sound booth.  "You'll do fine."

"I don't know about this." She mumbled.

"Trust me." He said and then left the room.  Rachel watched as he sat down at the soundboard behind a panel of glass.  He smiled at her and she saw him push a couple buttons as she held the headphones up to her ear.  She was startled when she heard the song come through the headphones and her heart skipped wildly when she heard his voice in her ear.  Once again she was drawn into the passion of the music, the beauty of his voice and, like the first time they'd sung the song together, she missed her cue and he had to stop the music.

He leaned forward and spoke into a small microphone.  "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice filing the small room she was in.

"Yeah." She assured him.  "I'm fine.  Sorry." She smiled.

"It's okay.  We can start again."

This time Rachel took a deep breath and concentrated.  When her verse started she began singing.  After she was done with her lines the music ended and she looked over at JC who was smiling.  "Do you want to hear it?" He asked.

"Okay." She replied with a shrug of one shoulder.  He held the headphones up and listened as the part of the song she'd just recorded played back to her.  She gasped.  "Is that me?" She asked out loud, finding it hard to believe the voice she was hearing was her own.

"Sure is." He replied with a smile.  Combined with the music he'd put together, she didn't sound half bad.  Maybe this will work after all. She thought.

After a dozen or more takes, JC joined her in the recording room and they worked on the part of the song that they sang together for awhile.  Rachel found herself completely mesmerized as she stood facing him while they sang into the same microphone.  His body moved along as he felt the beat of the music and his blue eyes held hers steadily, as if he were singing just to her.  As the song ended on their last take he leaned over and kissed her.

"You guys sound great together!  Rachel, where have you been all my life?"

They both turned to the window and Rachel chuckled when she saw Justin sitting with Zack behind the soundboard. 

"What are you doing here?" JC asked.

Justin shrugged.  "I was bored, so I came down to see what was going on.  Thought maybe I'd play around a little with a song I've been working on." He replied.  "Did you write this song, C?" He asked.

"Part of it." He replied.  "Zack, can you play back that last take." He asked and the large black guy sitting next to Justin nodded.

"Who'd you write it with?" Justin asked.  JC pointed at Rachel and Justin looked at her in interest.  "Mmmm." He mused.  "You really are amazing." He said.  "Jace wasn't lying.  You can dance, you can sing, you write songs...what can't you do?"

"That's for me to know and JC," she replied with a smile as she looked over at JC as he stood listening to what they'd just recorded.  He winked at her as he took the headphones off. "To find out." She finished, looking back at Justin. 

"I'm starving." JC said.  "Wanna go get some lunch?" He asked taking her hand and leading her out of the room.

"Sure." She replied.  "Are we done?"

"For now." Justin said as they walked into the sound booth.  "JC's a madman when it comes to recording.  You're going to be working on this song till it makes you sick.  I'll tell you this," he said, leaning back in the chair he was sitting in, looking at them.  "If you two can survive recording this song together, you were meant for one another."

"Thanks, Justin." JC replied sarcastically then turned to Rachel.  "Don't listen to him.  I'm going to take it home and play with it a little.  We'll probably have to come back in and record a couple parts over again later."

"Probably?" Justin mumbled sarcastically under his breath as he turned and began studying the soundboard intently.  JC reached out and smacked the back of his head as he smiled at Rachel.  "Ow." Justin said, rubbing his head.

"Ready?" JC asked Rachel.

"I was born ready." Justin replied standing up.  "Where are we going?"  JC looked at him.  "What?" He asked with a shrug.  "Rachel wants me to come, don't you Rachel?" He asked, walking over to her and putting his arm around her shoulder.

"Don't put me in the middle of this!" Rachel laughed as she put her hands up in surrender. 

"Girl, don't do this to me." Justin said, placing a hand over his heart and looking at her pathetically.  "I thought we were tight."

"Tight?" Rachel asked raising an amused brow and beginning to laugh.  "Is that why you never call me?"

"Give me your number." He replied, pulling out his phone.  "I promise I'll call you.  Tonight." He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

"And we're leaving now." JC said, stepping between them and turning Rachel towards the door.  Rachel shrugged as she looked at Justin over her shoulder.  Call me.  He mouthed, putting his phone up to his ear.  She laughed as she turned back around and slipped her arm around JC's waist.  "Sometimes I think he's still going through puberty." JC said as they walked outside together.  "He's a shameless flirt."

"And you're not?" She replied with a chuckle, putting her sunglasses on.  "Pretty sure you give Justin a run for his money in that department."  He grinned down at her and she just shook her head.

"Come on." He said pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.  "There's a great little café around the corner.  Let's go turn some heads."   

~~~~~~

December

"So I think you should write a fan fiction story." Megan told Rachel over the phone one evening as Rachel was at home mixing up a pan of brownies.

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed then burst out laughing.

"Yeah.  About your's and JC's relationship." Megan continued.

"Are you serious?" Rachel asked as she poured the brownie batter into a pan.

"Of course I am." Megan answered her.

"JC would flip out!" Rachel insisted.  "You know how private he is.  I'd never get away with it." 

"Why wouldn't you?" Megan asked.  "You use a penname and no one will know who you are.  I think you should do it!  You'd have to change some names of course, to protect the innocent--like me--but I think it'd be great story."

"I'm not a writer!" Rachel countered as she continued laughing.

"Well neither are most of the people who write fan fiction." Megan chuckled.  "You've read the stories.  You don't have to be an award winning author to post something online.  All you've got to have is a basic understanding of the English language and a great storyline...both of which you have."

"Again," Rachel laughed.  "JC would absolutely freak if he found out." 

"Who says he has to know?" Megan responded.

"Seriously?" Rachel countered as she put the brownies in the oven.  "There's no way!  Wasn't there a fan fiction story back in the day where the girl JC was with was a fan fiction writer?" Rachel asked as she licked the spoon she'd been using then started cleaning up the mess she'd made.

"Yeah, which is why I think you could totally get away with it." Megan laughed.  "You guys are like a modern day Cinderella story--complete with the wicked stepmother.  It's so romantic.  People would eat it up!"

"Oh, brother!" Rachel shook her head as she laughed.  "You are something else, you know?" 

"I know." Megan responded.  "So, you're going to do it?"

"No." Rachel chuckled. 

"Why not?" Megan whined.  "Come on!  Please?  I'm going on maternity leave pretty soon and I'm going to be bored out of my mind.  I need something to keep me busy while I'm waiting to have this baby."

"Then why don't you write the story?" Rachel countered.  "I seem to remember you saying you were contemplating writing a book a few months ago."

"Hmmm..." Megan mused.  "You know, that's not a bad idea.  Maybe I will."

Rachel groaned.  "Just remember what I made you promise the last time you got the idea to write a book about me."

"What's that?"

"You have to let me read whatever you've written before you post anything." Rachel said.

"Why?" Megan questioned.  "Are you worried I'm going to incriminate you?"

"Yes!" Rachel laughed.  "You know far too much about me for me to be okay with this scheme of yours in any way, shape or form."

"I promise to change your name and leave out important bits of information that, in the extremely off chance, someone we know reads the story they won't know who I'm talking about."

"I don't know..." Rachel shook her head.  "I don't think this is a good idea.  I'm just quirky enough that if anyone we know did read the story they'd know it was me."

"Oh, quit worrying." Megan laughed.  "Who reads fan fiction anymore anyway?  And not just fan fiction but N SYNC fan fiction."

"Well, apparently you do." Rachel said and they both laughed.  "There's probably more people than we think that still read that stuff.  But, let's change the subject." Rachel said.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" Megan asked.

"Christmas." Rachel replied as she hopped up on the counter.  "And what I'm going to get JC.  What the hell do you get a man who has everything?"

"Hmmm..." Megan hummed.  "That is a good question."  She was quiet for a moment.  "I'm going to have to think about this one.  Uh...what do you think he's getting you?" Megan asked.

"I have no idea.  All he told me was that he had it covered.  Then he got this mischievous look in his eyes and a grin that could rival the Cheshire Cat.  I could almost literally see the horns growing on top of his head."  Rachel said and Megan laughed.  "I'm kind of afraid."

"That means it's going to be good, whatever it is." Megan assured her.

"Exactly!" Rachel responded.  "Which is why I need to make sure I get him something good."

"Well...lingerie is always appreciated." Megan stated.  "Or so I've been told."

"Oh I have no doubt it would be appreciated." Rachel replied with a roll of her eyes even as a tingle ran down her spine.  Megan made a noise of interest and Rachel felt her cheeks warm slightly.  "But that's kind of a cop out."

"Okay..." Megan drawled.  "At the risk of having this conversation become R-rated, I have to ask...is he good?"

Rachel smiled as she thought about Megan's question.  Finally with a giggle she answered.  "Yeah, he's good."

"I knew it!" Megan exclaimed with a giggle of her own.  "So what do you think you would have done if, when we were seventeen, someone would have told you in ten years you'd be have an intimate relationship with JC Chasez?"

"I would have thought they were completely crazy." Rachel replied, telling Megan the same thing she'd told JC. 

"Okay, we have to talk about something else." Megan laughed.  "This is way too trippy for me."

"This is trippy for you?" Rachel responded in shock.  "How do you think I feel?  I'm the one that's--"

"I don't want to know what you're doing." Megan interrupted her with a laugh.  "You just keep that between you and your lover."

"Remember how you're the one who started this conversation." Rachel laughed, twisting around and looking behind her as a knock sounded at her front door.  She smiled when JC walked in.  "You're the one who asked me if he was good." She said, causing JC to lift a brow and look at her in interest as he shut the door.

"I know." Megan replied.  "I know."

"Listen, I gotta go." Rachel said, as JC walked towards her.  "I'll call you later." She said as he came to stand in front of her and placed his hands on the counter on either side of her.

"Is he there?" Megan guessed.

"Yeah, he just got here." Rachel replied giggling softly as JC leaned forward and began kissing her neck, the light scruff he had tickling the sensitive skin.

"Alright.  I'll talk to you later." Megan replied with a chuckle.  "Ask him what he thinks of my story idea."

"Um, no." Rachel replied and Megan laughed.  "Bye." Rachel said as she hung up.  Placing the phone on the counter she put her arms around JC's neck.  "Hi." She greeted him with a smile.

"So am I?" He asked looking at her, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Are you what?" Rachel questioned him, even though she knew what he was asking.

"Good." He replied.  "I came into the conversation too late to hear your answer."

"Looking for an ego stroke today, are we?" She asked, evading his question.

"Among other things." He answered her with a suggestive smirk as he leaned closer to her, pressing his weight against her legs. 

"Are you hungry?" Rachel asked as her fingers played with the short hair at the nape of his neck.

"For you?" He inquired, placing his hands on her knees and spreading them.  "Always." He stated as he stepped between her legs then leaned forward and began nuzzling her ear.  

"And I used to wonder why all your songs were dirty." Rachel replied with a roll of her eyes and a smile as she tightened her arms around his neck.  "You're insatiable."  She said.  He chuckled softly in her ear and she shivered.  He leaned back and looked at her.  Placing a quick kiss on his lips she pushed him away.  "I just put some brownies in the oven." She told him.

"That's good." He replied not moving.  "But you didn't answer my question."

Rachel narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips as she looked at him.  "You're..." She shrugged.  "You're...très incroyable." She told him with a smile. 

"Do you do that on purpose?" He asked running one hand down and back up her leg.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Speak French." He replied.  "You know what it does to me."

"Oui." Rachel giggled as she kissed him.

"I like you like this." He observed.

"Like what?" She questioned.

"Sassy and flirty...I really like it." He said as he pulled her closer.

"Of course you do." Rachel replied confidently, finally succeeding in pushing him away and getting down off the countertop.  "And why?  Because you're dirty." She said over her shoulder as she turned to walk into the front room.  He reached out and smacked her butt as he followed her out of the kitchen.  Rachel giggled as she turned back around and walked backwards the remaining steps to the couch then sat down. 

"What do you want to do tonight?" He asked as he sat down beside her on the couch.

"Hmmm..." She pulled her legs up beneath her and snuggled against him.  "Well, we've got about fifteen more minutes until the brownies are down so we could just make out--"

"I like that idea." He replied putting his arm around her and pulling her close.

"Or..." She said, sitting up and grabbing a piece of paper off the coffee table in front of them.  "You could explain something to me."

"Explain what?" He asked.    

"Do you remember," Rachel asked, holding the piece of paper in front of her.  "A conversation we had a while back about your ‘unique sense of fashion'?" Megan had sent her an email yesterday with a picture she'd found of JC attached and Rachel had died laughing when she'd seen it.  This was by far the best picture she'd ever seen when it came to illustrating the point she'd been trying to make a few months ago.

"Yes." He replied, looking up at her.

"Care to explain...this?" She asked with giggle as she handed him the paper.  Rachel could see red creeping up his face and couldn't contain her laughter anymore.  "What the hell?" She asked through her laughter.  "What were you...I've seen a lot of crazy pictures of you over the years but that is the most ridiculous picture I've ever seen!  Of anybody!  What were you thinking?" She fell back on the couch as she continued laughing. 

"It was...I was just..." He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at the picture again then back at her.  "What is so funny?" He asked, getting defensive.

"You!"  She exclaimed.  "What the hell are you wearing?" She propped herself up on her elbows.  "Between the big, flowy shirt and vest combo and that mask...I can't figure out if you're trying to be the Phantom of the Opera or Zorro.  And who exactly are you shushing?" She fell back and held her stomach as she giggled uncontrollably.  "I just..." she wiped the tears from her eyes.  "I can't stop laughing."

"It was part of a photo shoot I did a few years ago.  It was...Okay, you know what?" He said, putting the picture on the coffee table and turning towards her.  "I'm going to start shushing you in a minute."

"Promise?" She asked, still laughing.  He growled and she let out a little squeal as he literally pounced on top of her.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as he began attacking her.  She squirmed beneath him as one of his hands moved down her side, his fingers tickling her.  "Stop!" She exclaimed through her laughter.  "Stop!  JC stop.  I mean it!"  He stopped tickling her, but didn't move from on top of her. 

"Are you going to stop laughing?" He asked looking at her sternly, though a mischievous glint was in his blue eyes.  Rachel bit her bottom lip as she nodded up at him.

"I'll try." She said and she did--for about four seconds--but she couldn't help it.  She began giggling again and he groaned as he bent his head--resting his forehead against her shoulder.  "I'm sorry." She said, threading her fingers in his hair.  "I can't help it.  It's just too funny!"  She continued giggling as JC began nuzzling her ear.  She shivered as he playfully nipped at her a few times. 

"Jace?" Rachel breathed--his mouth becoming heated against her skin.  Again she felt his teeth graze her and she tightened her grip on his hair.  "If you give me a hickie I'm going to slap you." She warned him.  He said nothing, just shifted slightly--his lips never leaving her skin.  Rachel soon found herself trapped between him and the back of the couch and she sighed as a delightful shiver went down her spine when his lips finally connected with her own.  If there was one thing she'd learned over the past few months it was that she had become hopelessly addicted to the taste of his kiss--she could never get enough.  She moaned as he moved to deepen the contact between them, hitching her leg over his hip as he maneuvered one leg between hers.  With one final deep kiss he pulled his lips from hers and stared into her eyes.  "Wow." She breathed and he smiled.

"I've got something for you." He said.  He brushed the hair from her face then ran his hand over the leg that was thrown over his.

"Oh yeah?" She questioned, eager to know what it was but hesitant for him to move.  She loved being this close to him--feeling every inch of him pressed against her.  They fit so perfectly together, like two connecting puzzle pieces, and she didn't want to let him go just yet. 

"Yeah." He nodded, his blue eyes sparkling.

"What is it?" She asked him.

"An early Christmas present." He replied as his hand moved up her side, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of her T-shirt.  Rachel tried to control her reaction to his touch but she knew he could see what he was doing to her--the smug look in his eyes gave that away.

"Christmas is two weeks away." She informed him, trying desperately to ignore his hand as it flattened against the skin of her back and started snaking its way upward.  "Jace..." She warned even as she closed her eyes.  He chuckled as he leaned forward slightly and kissed the corner of her jaw. 

"Are you ready?" He said.

"Mmmm...that's a dangerous question." She replied breathlessly and he chuckled.

He looked at her for a second, and they both startled when the timer on the oven went off.  "Ugh." Rachel groaned as JC withdrew his hand, untangled his legs from hers and stood.  "I'll be right back." She said, standing as well and walking into the kitchen.  She removed the brownies from the oven, turned it off then walked back into the front room.  As she sat back down on the couch he reached into his back pocket and withdrew a long white envelope.  He looked at it for a moment then held it out to her. Rachel took it from him as she shifted and leaned back against the arm of the couch.  With an excited grin, she opened the envelope.  As she withdrew what was inside she gasped, her eyes flying up to meet his.

"I'm really hoping you have a passport." He said, looking at her anxiously.

"Are you serious?" Rachel asked, placing a hand to her chest as she looked back down at what he had given her.  She couldn't believe what she was looking at.  "Paris?"  She looked back at him.  "We're going to Paris?!"

"We leave in a week." He said with a grin.

Rachel was speechless.  "I..."  He was taking her to Paris for Christmas!  Rachel let the plane tickets fall to the floor as she quickly closed the space between them, throwing herself onto his lap.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, winding her arms around his neck as she kissed him over and over.  "Really?" She leaned back and looked at him.  "We're really going?" 

"We're really going." He laughed.  His hands came up her back and into her hair as he kissed her deeply. 

"Why?" She asked pulling back again. 

"Because I love you." He said, kissing her.  "Because it's a crime that someone who can speak French as beautifully as you do has never been to that country." He kissed her again, a little longer this time.  "And because I told you we needed to work on broadening your horizons."

Rachel smiled as she licked her lips.  "How am I ever going to top this?" She wondered out loud.  If she'd had trouble deciding what to get him before, she was completely at a loss now.

"You don't have to."  He replied, tightening his arms around her as he kissed her again.  "I've got everything I want right here." 

"Sure." Justin said without looking up.

"How did you know Jess was the one you wanted to be with?" JC asked.

Justin looked up at him.  "I don't know." He shrugged.  "It just kind of happened and something just clicked, you know?"

"What do you think of Rachel?" JC asked, getting down to the real reason for his line of questioning.

"Does it matter?" Justin asked.

"Yes." JC replied seriously.

Justin turned and looked at him.  "She's..." he paused as he thought.  "I like her." He nodded.  "A lot." He smiled. 

"Why did you hesitate?" JC asked.

"It's just..." Justin sighed.  "I don't know.  She's...well, she's different than the other girls you've dated in the past that's for sure."

"You mean she's normal?" JC replied sarcastically and Justin laughed.

"Maybe that's it." Justin chuckled.  "But seriously, C.  I like her." He assured him.  "I really do and I can tell she really likes you.  Why do you want to know what I think of her?" Justin asked.  "What do you think of her?"

"I love her." JC replied emphatically and Justin smiled.  "I know I've said that in the past but it's...it's different with Rachel.  It's more." He said.  "A lot more."

"Have you told her?" Justin asked.

"Yeah." JC nodded.

"Then what's the matter?" Justin asked him as he watched JC sitting at the soundboard.

JC sighed heavily.  "I..."

"What?" Justin asked.

"I don't know, J." JC said resting his elbows up on the table and scrubbing his face with his hands.  "I've never felt like this before and I...I've been so blessed in my life.  I've had my fair share of good things happen.  I kind of feel guilty accepting the love she's offering.  Is it really fair for me to keep someone as incredible and wonderful as Rachel is to myself when I've already been given more than most people only dream about?  And why does she want me?  She knows I'm not perfect." He laughed bitterly.  "She's painfully aware of how imperfect I am but for some reason..." He trailed off as he shook his head.

"For some reason she loves you anyway?" Justin asked.

"Yeah." JC nodded.

"Don't question it, Jace." Justin told him.  "Rachel's a smart girl.  She knows what she wants and everyone who's seen you two together know she wants you.  When you two are together she's more interested in you than in whomever else may be around--which really says something in our line of work."  Justin commented.  "She's offering you her heart, Jace.  Take it and don't question it.  As soon as you start questioning it, that's when things start to unravel.  If you push her away, telling her she's better off without you, sooner or later she's going to leave.  Hold onto her and just enjoy the ride."

"How do I know if I'm pushing her too fast?" JC asked.

Justin lifted one brow in curiosity.  "What do you mean?  Have you two still not..."

"No, we have." JC assured him then smiled.  Justin chuckled.  "I just...I want to give her something for Christmas, but I'm not really sure how she'll take it."

"I thought you were taking her to Pairs for Christmas." Justin said.  "Weren't you telling me you were buying a couple plane tickets last week?"

"Yeah, I did and I am but that's only part of what I'm giving her."

"What else do you have?" Justin asked.

JC stood and walked out of the studio.  When he returned a few minutes later he handed Justin the gift he'd bought last night for Rachel.  Justin looked inside the box JC had handed him then quickly looked back up at him.  "Jace..." he looked back down.  "Are you sure about this, man?"

~~~~~~

What do you get a man who has everything? Rachel questioned for the twelfth time Monday afternoon.  She sat at her computer at work, idly drumming her fingers on her desktop as she pursed her lips in thought.  Clicking on the internet icon she went to Google and typed in that exact question.  After surfing through multiple websites telling her to either buy him lingerie for her to wear or saying she should buy some rare toy from his childhood she closed the browser box and pulled out a piece of paper--hoping to brainstorm and come up with a couple ideas.

This is ridiculous! She huffed as she sat, staring at the blank sheet of paper ten minutes later.  Come on, Rachel, think!  If you were JC, what would you want?  He had everything he could possibly want, and if he didn't have it he had the money and connections to get it.  Rachel had been completely blown away when he'd given her the plane tickets to Paris and knew she had to get him something equally as unique and special.  But what?  She tapped the end of her pen against her lips as she thought back over the dates and conversations they'd had--searching for a clue as to what she could get him for Christmas. 

She could get him a telescope...but did he really do all that much stargazing when he wasn't trying to seduce her?  And a really good telescope cost a lot of money.  Even though she was dating a celebrity, Rachel's checkbook still had a limit.

They'd played basketball together.  Maybe she could get him a jersey from his favorite team or something...No.  She thought.  That's not very special.

Did he have a favorite movie?  Maybe she could find him some piece of rare Hollywood memorabilia on e-bay...She thought back to the time he'd shown up at her apartment with Indiana Jones, saying it was his favorite.  Hmmm...she thought as an idea began formulating.  Once again opening up the internet, Rachel began a new search.  She'd just found what she was looking for when her cell phone vibrated next to her scaring her.  She let out a gasp as she minimized the window she had open and picked it up, smiling at who was calling her.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey, yourself." JC answered.  "What're you doing?"

"Oh, just working." Rachel lied.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked.

"I think my boyfriend and I are going to do something, why?" She answered.

"Hmmm..." he mused.  "So, there's no way we could get together tonight?"

"You could come over after he leaves." Rachel replied.  "We'll need to work out some sort of signal so you know for sure he's left, but I'm sure we can come up with something.  What did you have in mind?"

"Some late night lovin'." He answered and she could almost see the evil glint in his blue eyes and she smirked.

"That's amazing." Rachel replied.  "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Oh yeah?" He asked, sounding intrigued.

"Yeah.  ‘I need you, I want you, oh baby, oh baby.'" She quoted the well-known movie line.

JC laughed.  "You know it's a good thing I know you're so crazy about me, or I'd be tempted to get really suspicious about how casual you're being with this whole exchange.  Have you had a lot of experience with this?"  He asked.  "Should I be worried?"

"Worried about what?" She asked. 

"About you juggling two guys at the same time."

"No." Rachel assured him with a laugh.  "I'm a completely monogamous person, I can assure you.  Calm down.  What do you want to do tonight?" She asked.

"If you're up for it I wanted to go down and work on the song some more."

"Sure." Rachel replied.  "Do you want me to meet you there?"

"No, I'll come pick you up.  Is your car okay if it just sits in the parking lot there for a couple hours?"

"Yeah, it should be." Rachel assured him.

"Were you able to get the time off next week?" He asked in reference to their upcoming trip.

"After begging and pleading on my hands and knees for hours...yes." She assured him.

"Was it a lot of trouble?" He asked sounding concerned.

"No, it was okay." She chuckled.  "Matt wasn't very happy, but after I assured him I wouldn't be taking anymore sudden and unexplained trips for at least six months he relented.  So, no more last minute surprises that involve travel, okay?" She told him.

"What about last minute surprises that don't involve travel?" He asked.

"Those are fine." She assured him.

"Good." He replied with a chuckle.  "When are you going to be done tonight?" He asked.

"Uh..." Rachel looked over the work in front of her and glanced over her calendar.  "Six?" She replied.

"Six?" He whined.  "I don't know if I can wait that long to see you."

"Oh please!" She laughed.  "It's only three more hours, I think you'll survive." She told him.

"Where do you want to go to dinner?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Hmmm...you know what my absolute favorite restaurant is?" Rachel asked.

"No, but now you've got me curious."

"The Cheesecake Factory." She told him.

"It's a date." He replied.  "Be ready at six." He told her.

"Okay." Rachel smiled then said good bye to him.  Three hours.  She had a lot of things she should be working on, but instead she went back to the internet and began searching for the gift she'd finally decided she wanted to get him--hoping and praying it would arrive before they left next week.

~~~~~~

"Aren't you sick of flying around the world?" Rachel asked JC as they sat in LAX a week later.  She was idly flipping through a magazine she'd picked up at one of the many bookshops they'd walked past.

"You'd think so, huh?" He chuckled as he grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers.  "But no.  It doesn't really bother me."  Rachel shifted in her seat and laid her head on his shoulder.  JC's phone rang and her eyes traveled around the waiting area, watching the other travelers around them, while he talked to Sarah for a couple minutes.

"Sorry." He said when he ended the call and gave her fingers a squeeze.

"It's alright." Rachel lifted her head and smiled at him.

"No it's not.  This trip is all about you." He continued as if he hadn't heard her.  "I promise." He made a show of turning his phone off.  "No more calls."

"Jace." Rachel chuckled at his odd behavior.  "It's alright." She assured him as she turned his phone back on and slipped it in his shirt pocket.  He'd been acting a little strange since picking her up a few hours ago--almost like he was agitated, or nervous about something.  "I understand that being with you means I have to share you with other people from time to time.  Stop apologizing.  I know who you are." She put a hand to his face.  "I'm not coming into this relationship blindly."  Rachel leaned forward and kissed him.  He sighed when she pulled back.  "What?" She asked at the look in his eyes. 

"I keep thinking one day you're going to wake up and decide it's not worth it." He confessed.

"What's not worth it?" She questioned, taken back at his statement.

"This." He said, gesturing between them with his hand.  "Me.  Being with me; dealing with everything that comes along with dating someone like me."

Rachel looked at him for a moment in amazement, the vulnerability in his blue eyes calling out to her.  Was he serious?  After everything they'd been through together he was still afraid of her leaving him?  Why was he so insecure about their relationship?  She suddenly wanted to slap whoever it was in his past that had burned him so badly, making him so unsure of himself.   

"I'm not with you because of who you are in here." She told him quietly as she lifted the magazine on her lap.  "I'm with you because of who you are in here." She said, placing her hand on his chest above his heart.  "Yes it's going to be an adjustment--suddenly being in the spotlight.  I'm going to have to get used to a completely different way of life and thinking, but it's worth it." She put a hand to his face again.  "You're worth it.  I love you, Joshua." She kissed him softly.  "I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Positive." She turned back to her magazine.  "At least not until after Paris." She smirked and he rolled his eyes as he put his arm around her.  Rachel crossed her legs as she once again put her head on his shoulder.  JC reached his arm out and rested his hand on her knee, his thumb brushing over the skin there.  "What are we going to do to pass the time on this freakishly long flight?" She asked.

"Ever heard of the mile high club?" He asked casually.

"Joshua!" Rachel exclaimed as she sat up.

"What?" He asked innocently.  Rachel folded her arms across her chest as she looked at him.  "Oh come on!" He laughed.  "You can't tell me you haven't thought about it."

"I-I...No, I haven't.  I don't think...I could..." Rachel stuttered, feeling her cheeks warm as he looked at her--his blue eyes sparkling.  "It's illegal.  No." She said, shaking her head.  "No."

"We'll see." He smirked.

"What does that mean?" Rachel scoffed, looking at him in disbelief.  "‘We'll see'?" She quoted him.

"It means, we've got an awfully long flight ahead of us and I'm sure I can come up with a few ways to, uh...change your mind." He winked at her. 

"Wanna bet?" Rachel countered stubbornly.

"Sure." He replied.  They sat looking at each other for a few seconds then he said, "If I can't get you to change your mind I'll do anything you want tomorrow." He pledged.

"Anything?" Rachel questioned.  "Remember the last time you promised me anything I wanted?"

JC leaned closer to her.  "Anything." He promised confidently. 

He thinks he's going to win. She thought as she sat, staring into his eyes.  Well, we'll just see about that. She mused.  JC didn't know just how stubborn she could really be.  Maybe it was time to educate him a little bit.

"And if you do manage to somehow change my mind?" She asked.  "What do you get?"

"Well," he replied with a shrug as he leaned back in his seat.  "I would have already gotten what I wanted, wouldn't I?" He smirked and Rachel laughed.

"Punk." She mumbled under her breath as she went back to the magazine on her lap.   

"Delta flight 8553, is now boarding at gate B6." A feminine voice suddenly came over the intercom system and people around them started standing and gathering their stuff.

"That's us." JC said.  "You brought your passport, right?" He asked Rachel as they both stood.

"Yep." She smiled as she slung her carry-on over her shoulder.  They stepped into line and JC put his arms around her from behind, placing a kiss to her neck.  "Now, wait a minute." Rachel said, stepping out of his arms and turning to face him.  "You can't start trying to seduce me until we get on the plane." 

"Say's who?" He chuckled.  "We never set any ground rules."

"I just did." Rachel informed him.  "Besides," she looked over his shoulder.  "Those girls over there have been giving me the evil eye since we arrived.  I don't think they can take anymore of you and me together without one of them having a complete breakdown." She chuckled.

"What girls?" He asked.

"The two behind you in the red." She told him.  JC looked over his shoulder then turned back to Rachel, his blue eyes flashing.  "What--" He cut her off with his mouth as he kissed her--long and deep--his mouth moving slowly and seductively against her own.  It never failed to amaze her at how it felt to kiss him.  Her stomach quivered and her knees buckled slightly when he pulled away, thankful he'd put his arms around her--they were the only things keeping her upright at the moment.

"People are just going to have to deal with the fact that we're together." He told her.  "You're my girlfriend and if I want to kiss you, then damn it, I'm going to kiss you.  Come on." He took her hand as the line moved.  He handed the gate attendant their boarding passes and Rachel followed along dumbly--still in a daze from the kiss he'd just given her.  She had a sudden, sinking feeling JC was going to come out the victor in the bet they'd just made.  "You okay?" He asked, looking at her questioningly as she trailed behind him.

"Never better." She replied with a grin.  Never better.

~~~~~~

"What do you want to do first?" JC asked as he and Rachel finally stepped off the plane the next morning.  Rachel looked at him in question as she hiked her bag higher on her shoulder. 

"I lost the bet." She told him.  "Remember?"

"I know." He winked at her.  "But you're the one who's never been here before.  I know you've probably got a list of things you want to do."  They slowed as they approached the line at customs.

"Well," Rachel said, reaching into her bag and withdrawing her passport.  "The Eiffel Tower is a must." She told him. 

"Of course." He replied.

"And then there's the Arc de Triumph and the Louvre."

"Alright." He nodded.

"I've always wanted to go to the Palace at Versailles and..." she trailed off as they continued moving in line.

"And?" He questioned.

"I kind of want to go to the Moulin Rouge."

"I think that can be arranged." JC said.

"Oh!  And Notre Dame." Rachel smiled at him as she handed the Customs Official her passport and ID. 

"We're only here for a week." JC chuckled as he did the same.  "How about we check in to the hotel first, then we can decide what we want to do."

"Sounds great!" Rachel said as she took her passport back and tucked in her bag. 

"Yeah?" JC said, smiling down at her.

"Yeah." She replied, hugging his arm.  "Let's go." She said, reaching up and kissing him quickly. 

~~~~~~

"Do you want your Christmas present?" Rachel asked as JC fell back on the bed exhausted the next day.  They'd just gotten back from dinner at the Moulin Rouge and spending the day walking around the city.  She was tired as well, but tonight was Christmas Eve and she wanted to give him his present.  He raised his head and looked at her, one brow raised in interest.

"Present?" He asked.

"Yep." Rachel replied, placing her suitcase on the bed and crawling up on the mattress.  She kneeled beside her bag, the skirt of the little black dress she was wearing covering her knees.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and made a show of slowly unzipping her bag. 

"You didn't have to get me anything." He said as he sat up, loosening his tie as he looked at her, his eyes narrowing though they were sparkling with excitement.

"I know." She said.  "I'll have you know I thought a lot about this."  She stopped and put her hands on her hips.  "Do you know how hard you are to shop for?" He chuckled.  "I mean what in the hell am I supposed to get you?  You have everything!  And what you don't have...you can get."

"Rachel..."

She held a finger up, silencing him.  "I was just going to wrap a big bow around myself."

"I'm fine with that." He answered, tossing the black tie he'd been wearing on the ground.  "As long as there's nothing under the bow." He smirked.  "Is that what you have in there?" He reached his hand forward.  "A ribbon?"

"No." Rachel playfully slapped his hand away and shook her head slowly as she looked at him.

"What is it?" He asked, trying to hold in his excitement but looking like a little boy on Christmas morning.  Rachel bit her lip as she pulled out the large, flat rectangle package that had arrived the day before they'd left.  Placing it in his lap she waited as he looked at her for a second then opened the box and pulled out the dark brown leather jacket she'd purchased for him.  "Nice." He smiled up at her. 

"Do you like it?" She asked.

"Yeah." He swung it around and put his arms into the sleeves. 

"At first I figured I'd just get it for you to wear when you ride around on your motorcycle, but then I found this..." Rachel reached into her bag and withdrew the replica Indiana Jones hat she's found online.  He laughed as he took it from her. 

"What do you think?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair and placing the hat on top of his head.

Rachel sighed appreciatively as she looked at him.  "I think it's your turn to fulfill a few of my fantasies." She said as she moved the suitcase off the bed and leaned towards him.

"Yes ma'am." He replied with an evil grin as he took off the hat.  "Use me." He kissed her.  "Abuse me." He kissed her again and leaned over her when she fell back on the bed beside him.  "Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"Put the hat back on." She commanded.

He sat back and looked down at her, then reached for the hat and put it on again.  Rachel shook her head.  "You, Joshua Scott Chasez, are one dangerously sexy man." She told him. 

"Do I make your heart race?" He asked his blue eyes intense as they held hers.

"Yes." She sighed.

"Do I make your knees weak and your mouth go dry?" He inquired as he brought one hand up and ran his fingertips down her neck and throat.

"Yes." Rachel swallowed as she closed her eyes.

"Do I make your stomach quiver and your hands tremble?" He leaned towards her and placed a series of tiny kisses to her collarbone.  Rachel's heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest.

"Yes."  She breathed. 

"Do I make it hard to breathe?" His lips moved up her neck and across her jaw.

"Yes."

"Do I make rational thought leave your head when I touch you?" He asked, his lips brushing her ear.  Rachel shivered.

"Yes."

He cupped her cheek and kissed her lips softly.  Slowly he pulled back and Rachel looked up at him.  "Then you know exactly how you make me feel." He said and Rachel's heart skipped as she continued staring up into his brilliant blue eyes.  His thumb slowly caressed her cheek.  "I have something for you." He said.

Rachel's brow furrowed.  "But you've already given me so much.  What--"

He placed his index finger over her lips, silencing her then kissed her-his lips lingering on hers for a long moment.  "Here." He said, sitting up and reaching for the bedside table.  Rachel sat up as he placed a small blue box in her hand then sat back and waited.  She hesitantly opened the box and gasped when she saw its contents.  Her eyes flew up to meet his.

"Jace..." She breathed.  "What..." She licked her lips as she struggled to comprehend what her eyes were telling her.  Surely she was dreaming.  This had to be a dream.  There was no way in hell this was really happening.  Sitting inside the box was the most incredibly beautiful and perfect diamond and sapphire ring Rachel had ever seen.  The center stone, a radiant cut diamond, was flanked by three smaller sapphires on either side and all of them were set in a gorgeous filigree cut platinum band.

JC took the box from her and picked up the ring, holding it between his thumb and forefinger.  Placing the box on the bed beside them he reached for and picked up her left hand, sliding the ring onto her ring finger while Rachel fought back her tears. 

"This isn't a proposal." He said, his blue eyes finally looking up and into hers.  "This is just a promise.  I promise to make you laugh every day.  I promise to buy you onion rings when you're sick." Rachel laughed through the tears falling freely down her face.  "I promise to kiss you in the rain." He continued.  "I promise to call and talk to you late at night when I'm out of town." He put a hand to her face and wiped away her tears.  "I promise to dance with you and only you from now on.  I love you, Rachel Olivia Kline, and I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

Rachel was sobbing by the time he finished.  She couldn't talk so she just wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.  "I love you."  She sniffed and wiped at the tears on her face.  "I love you so much, Jace.  I never thought..." She stopped again when her emotions got the better of her.  "In my wildest dreams I never thought that one day I'd be sitting in a hotel room, in Paris, with you!  How did I get so lucky?  How in the world did I end up as the one sitting here with you right now?"

"It's the other way around." He assured her.  "I'm the one lucky enough to be sitting here with you."

Rachel chuckled.  "Are you always this sappy and cheesy when you're trying to be romantic?"

He shrugged as he grinned at her.  "It's a curse I guess." Then he became somber.  "I love you." He said placing both hands on her face.  "I don't want you to ever question it, or have reason to doubt my sincerity.  You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I thank God every day that I get to hold your hand."

"You have got to stop saying things like that." Rachel exclaimed as she kept wiping the tears from her face.  She looked at the ring he'd just given her then smiled at him-at a loss at to what to say.  "How did you know?" She asked.

"How did I know what?" He questioned.

"That sapphires are my favorite?" She looked up at him in amazement.

"I didn't.  But there's a reason for it." He told her.

"Is it a secret or can you tell me?" She asked.

"I don't know..." He drawled.  "You might think it's sappy and cheesy."

"I like cheese." She told him and he chuckled. 

"Sapphires are the stone for September." He said.  Rachel looked at him, her brows furrowing slightly.  "We first met in September and it was a year later--in September--that you walked back into my life." He reached a hand up and cupped her cheek as she smiled at him.

"You're right." She chuckled.  "That is cheesy.  But I love it!"

"Can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Of course." She replied.

"Just out of curiosity..." He trailed off.

"Yeah?" Rachel questioned, once again looking down at the ring on her hand.

"If this had been a proposal..." Once again he trailed off and Rachel's head shot up, her heart leaping in her chest at the look in his eyes.  "What would your answer have been?"

"Yes." She replied without hesitation.  "Yes."

JC breathed what sounded like a sigh of relief then leaned forward on the bed and placed his lips against hers in a long, slow, passionate kiss. 

~~~~~~

Rachel sighed in contentment as she snuggled closer to JC that night.  His deep, even breathing didn't change as she placed her left hand on his bare chest-resting it above his heart.  She looked at the ring on her finger and smiled, remembering his promises of a few hours ago.  He'd told her it wasn't a proposal but then had gone ahead and more or less proposed to her anyway.  She felt giddy and tingly all over just thinking about it.   

As he stirred in his sleep, turning on his side, Rachel got up.  She grabbed her flannel pajama pants from the floor and tugged them on.  As she went to grab her tank top her fingers stopped-her eyes catching sight of the black T-shirt JC had worn earlier in the day and had thrown over the back of the chair sitting by the bed.  With a quick glance at the man sleeping beside her Rachel slipped his shirt over her head then padded quietly across the room.  Leaning against the wall--her back to the room--she stood looking out at the lights of Paris and the snowflakes that had started falling sometime during the night.  "Je dois rêver. Ceci ne peut pas être vrai."  I must be dreaming.  This cannot be real.

"Rach?"

She heard his sleepy inquiry and turned, looking back towards the bed.  "I'm here." She said, smiling as he came and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzled her neck.  "Mmmm..." She hummed, leaning back against him.

"Come back to bed, Beautiful." He said quietly.

"And miss all this?" Rachel asked, gesturing out the window with her hand.  JC rested his chin on her shoulder as they stood looking out the large window together.  "Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?" He asked, pressing his lips to her neck.

Rachel turned in his arms and wound her arms around his neck.  "For everything." She replied, pushing up on her toes and kissing him.  She soon found herself with her back pressed against the wall as JC's hands came up and framed her face.  "But don't think this lets you off the hook." She said when he pulled back. 

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I'm still expecting a real proposal." She smiled and he laughed.

"I promise." He said, placing a quick kiss to her lips.  "The next time we're in Paris I'll do it right.  Now," He said, placing his hands on her hips and cocking a brow as he began walking backwards.  "Come back to bed."

Rachel smirked but allowed him to lead her back to the bed.

JC Chasez Engaged to Girlfriend?

That's the question everyone is asking themselves these days.  Chasez and his girlfriend only made their relationship official two months ago and after years of flying solo JC's bachelor days seem to be far behind him.

After years of being the only married N SYNCer, we caught up with Chasez's former bandmate Joey Fatone and asked him if the rumors were true.  When asked about the trip to Paris the lovebirds took over Christmas and the dazzling diamond and sapphire ring she's sporting nowadays, Fatone told us that as far as he knew JC and his interior designer girlfriend, Rachel Kline, were not engaged but he hopes "that it'll happen one of these days.  If any two people were meant to be together it's those two."

Thanks Sarah.  Make sure you stay updated on all the latest celebrity gossip by logging on to our website.  Next up...

"Why do you like watching this crap?" JC asked, reaching for and flipping off Rachel's television one night.

"Hey!" She exclaimed with a laugh, reaching for the remote as he held it out away from her.  She glared playfully at him then shook her head when he dropped the remote to the floor on the opposite side of the couch.  "That's one of my favorite shows."

They'd gotten home from Paris two weeks ago and ever since going together to the People's Choice Awards last weekend, their supposed engagement was all anyone could talk about.  JC had had to reassure his mother that, "no he wasn't engaged" when she'd called and, "yes, he promised before he did propose to anyone he'd bring her home so they could meet her."  That last promise, made one night as she'd been over at his house, caused nervous butterflies to appear in Rachel's stomach. 

"You know they make up most of their stuff right?" He asked.  "It's just a bunch of rumors."

"Aren't you ever curious about what people are saying about you?  And besides, that was true." She said, pointing to the now blank screen.  "We did go to Paris and I am wearing a ring."  She wiggled the fingers of her left hand as she held it up to him.  He rolled his eyes. "What other conclusions are people supposed to draw from that evidence?  I think it's interesting to see what people are saying about me," she continued.  "About us." She smiled at him.  "This is kind of exciting for me.  I've never been the center of attention with an audience this big before."

"Yeah well, you won't think it's very exciting and interesting when they start rumors going around insisting that you're in rehab and I'm sneaking off to Cancun with the nanny."

"Are you planning on sneaking off to Cancun with the nanny?" She asked him pointedly, folding her arms across her chest and raising one brow.

"We don't have a nanny." He replied rolling his eyes.

"Pretend we do." Rachel said, curious to know his answer.

He looked at her for a moment then laughed.  "Are you planning on going into rehab?" He countered.

"No." She shook her head.

"Then I think we're safe." He winked at her as a smile spread across his face.  Rachel pulled her legs up on the couch and snuggled up against his side.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" She asked.  An MTV crew was scheduled to be at his house first thing in the morning and would be there most, if not all, of the day filming. 

"I guess so." He shrugged.  "I don't really have to do much."

"Except smile and look adorable on camera." Rachel replied, leaning up and kissing him.  She pulled back as a thought came to her and looked at him closely.

"What?" He asked.

"What are you wearing tomorrow?" She asked.

"What are you, my mother?" He teased with a chuckle.

"No, but I am your girlfriend and I refuse to have you seen on national television wearing anymore hideous outfits."

"I was planning on jeans and a button down shirt, is that okay with you?" He asked with an amused smile.

She thought about it for a moment.  "Yeah I guess." She conceded.

"You sure you don't want to be there?" He asked looking down at her.  "I mean, this is your baby."

"I wish I could." Rachel told him.  "But I've got a mandatory staff meeting at nine am tomorrow and three new client consults.  I'm going to be rushing as it is to get done in time to meet you for dinner."

"I can call and reschedule." He responded. 

"No, it's fine." She assured him.  He'd finally decided to release Kate and was meeting with an agent from TennMan Records to go over logistics and talk contracts.  Since the duet they'd recorded had been added to the album JC had wanted Rachel to be there.   "I'll be okay.  It'll be nice to be able to sit down and relax after my hectic day.  Besides," she told him.  "I bought a new dress yesterday specifically for the event."

"You did, huh?" He asked quirking a brow while his eyes sparkled in interest.  "Can I see it?"

"Sure." She nodded.  "Tomorrow."

"Is it red?" He asked.  Rachel shrugged one shoulder non-committally and smiled secretively.  "I'm going to need to concentrate tomorrow, Rach." He told her, leveling his gaze at her.  "Don't wear red." He stated his eyes intense as they held hers.

"It's not red." She told him.  He opened his mouth, but she covered it with her fingers and quickly said, "And that's all I'm going to say.  Let me surprise you."

"Fine." He sighed with a smile.

"So is it weird that Justin is now going to kind of be your boss?" Rachel asked.  She'd been surprised that he'd decided to accept the offer from Justin's label company and was curious on his thoughts about his decision.

"It's not really something I ever thought would happen." He admitted.  "But..." he paused.  "It makes sense.  I mean, we work together on stuff all the time anyway.  Everything's falling into place, thanks to you, so I think it'll be good."

"Thanks to me?" She questioned.

He smiled.  "Rewind was what I needed to pull everything together.  Without you," he tightened his arm around her, pulling her closer.  "This album would still be sitting on the shelf."

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into singing with you." She replied.  "It blows my mind when I think about it too hard."  She shook her head in disbelief. 

"You have a great voice." He reassured her.  "You said you like all this attention you're getting.  I wouldn't be surprised if that song brings you some attention of your own.  You might be getting some calls from agents."

"I didn't say I liked the attention.  I said it was interesting to see what people are saying about me and I don't want that kind of attention." She told him.  "One musician in this relationship is quite enough, thank you very much.  Can you imagine?" She chuckled.

"Justin was asking me the other day if you'd ever consider doing something with him."

"What?" Rachel pulled back and looked at him in surprise.  "Justin?  Really?" She asked excitedly.

"I thought you weren't interested in singing again." He replied.  "Didn't you just say--"

"Oh, I...I'm not, but...you know..." She shrugged her shoulders.  "It's Justin."

JC rolled his eyes and groaned.  "You're killing me, Rach." He said.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You're just like every other woman on this damn planet." He said, with an irritated expression on his face.  "Bowing down to his highness, King Justin."

"What is your deal?" Rachel replied with a laugh.  "I do not bow down to him."

"Just about." JC replied with a roll of his eyes.  Rachel folded her arms across her chest as she sat looking at him in confusion, trying to understand where this outburst was coming from.  In a matter of seconds he'd done a complete one-eighty and she was at a loss as to why.  This was eerily similar to the abrupt change he'd made when they'd been talking on the phone on Halloween.  When she'd been teasing him about choosing Justin over him if given a choice, he'd closed down and immediately become suspicious and insecure.

"I don't understand what is so..." He continued then paused.  "It's like he has a damn magnet up his ass that attracts every female within a hundred mile radius.  I don't--" He stopped as Rachel moved to straddle him--her legs resting on either side of him on the couch.  "What are you doing?" He asked as his hands came up to rest on her hips.

"You listen to me, Joshua Scott Chasez," she said firmly.  "And you listen good." Rachel held his gaze steadily as she put her hands on his shoulders.  "Stop."

"Stop what?" He questioned. 

"Just stop.  Stop holding a grudge against him--nothing he's done has been aimed at you personally.  He hasn't done anything with malicious intent.  Stop comparing yourself to him--you two are completely different people with completely different music styles.  You can't compare apples to oranges.  Stop thinking I'm going to leave you for him--because I'm not.  I love you." She leaned down and placed a lingering kiss to his lips.  When the kiss ended she rested her forehead against his and looked into his eyes.  And I thought I was the one with abandonment issues.  She thought.  She pulled back and ran her fingers through his hair.  "She really hurt you, huh?" She asked quietly.

"Who?" He asked his blue eyes confused, though a spark of fear showed briefly.

"Whoever it is you've written all those break-up songs about." Rachel replied.  "Whoever it is that's made you doubt yourself when it comes to being in a relationship."

~~~~~

JC sat looking at Rachel.  He didn't want to talk about his past.  He just wanted to enjoy being with her.  Dredging up the sludge that was his past love life would only serve to jinx the future--those were ghosts better left undisturbed.  But as she sat there, her brown eyes watching him intently--expectantly--he wanted to tell her and that thought terrified him.  He hadn't told anyone the specifics on any of his breakups.  Why did anyone need to know?  It was his life.  He worried that telling her about the failed relationships he'd been in would throw even more light on the inadequacies and weaknesses he had that others had found hard to overlook--finally causing her to realize he wasn't worth being with.  Just like...he sighed.  Just like everyone else.

"I don't want to talk about this right now." He finally said.  Rachel said nothing, just stayed where she was, looking at him.

"Okay." She said quietly, tucking her head beneath his chin as she rested her cheek against his chest.  JC put his arms around her, hugging her tightly.  "I'm not her, Jace." She whispered.  "Whoever she is." 

He said nothing, just tightened his arms around her as he closed his eyes and breathed in her sweet fragrance--letting the familiar scent calm his fears.  His thoughts however, refused to stay in the moment and chose instead to wander down paths better left in the past.

"What is this?" JC asked, storming into Bobbie's office.  The girl he'd been dating off and on for the last couple years looked up at him, startled, as he slapped the latest copy of J-14 down on her desk--the cover promising her stash of never before told secrets from the boys of N SYNC.

"Jace." She tucked her chestnut hair behind her ears and looked at him wide-eyed.  "I didn't know you were back in town.  When did you get in?" She asked, pasting a smile on her face as she stood and walked around her desk.

"Cut the crap, Bobbie." He said, side-stepping her when she went to hug him.  "You told me you weren't going to write anything like this again."

"Jace, I can explain--"

"Isn't that what you said?" He interrupted her, looking around her new office--it was a lot bigger than the tiny cubicle she'd been working at when they'd first met and it made him sick. "That our personal lives were just that?  Personal?"

"Yes.  But, baby, I'm just doing my job.  You know that.  I can't--"

"All I know, is that you lied to me.  Again!  And I'm sick of it.  I'm tired of this, Bobbie.  Be honest." He said, folding his arms across his chest.  "Would you have even given me a backward glance if I weren't who I am?"  She hesitated for a moment and that was all it took for him to know that things were over.  "We're done." He said turning and walking towards the door.  "I can't do this anymore.  You've gotten what you wanted from me," He spread his arms to indicate her comfy new surroundings. "Congratulations.  Don't ever call me again."

Storming out of the office building he stopped when he was outside and sat down on a bench in the courtyard.  Leaning over, he rested his arms on his legs and hung his head.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!  He kicked himself mentally as he jammed his fingers through his hair.

He'd met Bobbie a couple years ago and had always thought she was cute.  He enjoyed spending time with her and she didn't seem to mind the fact that he was on the road a lot.  Though nothing had been officially released about them being together, when he was in town they usually spent all their time together.  He couldn't go anywhere it seemed without seeing his face on at least three magazines and he knew that Bobbie would be writing about them as well--it was expected.  When the articles started getting a little too personal however--the information only something someone close to the guys would know--he started getting defensive.

He'd finally confronted her about the articles and asked her to stop.  She'd looked him in the eye and told him she would.  So much for promises.  He thought bitterly, finally standing and walking to the parking lot and getting into his Jeep.  Resolving that, until this crazy roller coaster of fame he was on slowed down, he was going to stay away from anything serious with a girl.  It was getting too hard to tell if they were interested in him because he was JC, or because he was one fifth of the hottest group on the charts these days. 

~~~~~~

"So, what's up between you and Tony?" JC asked Eva as they got into his car.  He tried to sound casual though inside he was steaming.  He loosened his tie as they came to a red light and looked over at her.

"Tony?" Eva asked.

"You two seemed kind of cozy tonight." He said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Oh." She replied and that one syllable was all it took.  He knew.  Just like with every previous relationship a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach told him things were over.  For whatever reason she'd decided she wanted someone else. What about me? He wanted to ask.  They'd begun dating soon after her divorce and though he'd had concerns about being ‘the rebound guy', things had been going well between them.  He'd begun to think maybe this time things would be different.

"Why?" He asked.  He didn't understand.  What was it about him that found him incapable of having a long term relationship with anyone?  What was the fatal flaw in his character?  Was he forever doomed to be the stepping stone to bigger and better?  When would it be his turn to be the one at the finish line?

"Why?"

Rachel was startled awake by JC's question.  He wasn't usually one for sleep-talking so to hear his voice raised in obvious frustration, breaking the quiet of her apartment concerned her.  She rolled over and looked at him.  When they'd gone to bed earlier he'd seemed a little distant but nothing that really concerned her. His face now however, showed the stress of whatever dream he was having and she wondered about the question he'd voiced.  Why, what?  He moved restlessly and she snuggled up to his side, resting her forehead against his cheek while she laid her arm across his chest and pressed her hand to the other side of his face.  "Shh..." She soothed, as she kissed the corner of his jaw.  His rapid breathing soon slowed and his body relaxed once more beside her.  As Rachel closed her eyes again, the deep even sound of JC's breathing lulling her to sleep, she wondered what it was that had him so worked up.  Passing it off as anxiety about the album coming out she finally surrendered once more to sleep.           

~~~~~~

This is absolute madness! Save me!!

Rachel chuckled quietly at JC's text the next morning as she sat waiting for her staff meeting to start.  She had wanted to ask him this morning about his dream last night, but he'd left after taking a quick shower--hurrying to meet the MTV crew at his house.  He hadn't been planning on spending the night and, after his semi-restless night, had slept longer than he'd planned this morning.

She quickly typed a response to his text then turned her phone off and shoved it in her pocket.

You'll be fine. I can't wait to see you at dinner :) I'm counting the hours...

"Alright, let's get this party started." Matt said.  Rachel looked up from the dress she'd been sketching in the margins of her notebook as he came into the conference room.  Her attention was immediately taken by the unknown man who walked in with her boss.  The newcomer was tall, with dark hair and his piercing grey eyes looked over the group calculatingly.  His features were chiseled--his chin squared and his nose perfectly proportioned.  Rachel wondered if he'd ever been approached by a modeling agency.  Damn!  She thought then felt her cheeks warm as the stranger's eyes connected with her own and she read the approval in them.  Her eyes dropped, falling to JC's ring on her left hand and she felt a twinge of guilt.  She shouldn't be looking at another guy no matter how attractive he may be.  Looking back up at Matt she found the stranger's eyes still on her.  Casually she lifted her left hand up on the table, twisting in her seat so he'd be able to see the symbol she wore on her finger representing her status as ‘taken.'  She was a little unnerved that that seemed to do nothing to keep the man from staring at her so she used her hand to brush her fingers through her hair then tuck it behind her ear--the lights overhead catching the diamond and making it sparkle.  With one more glance at the stranger from beneath her lashes, Rachel forced herself to concentrate on Matt.

"As some of you may have heard, we are working on opening a firm in New York which should be up and running next month and which I will be heading up." Matt informed everyone, catching Rachel by surprise.  A ripple of disappointment sounded in the small room.  Matt was leaving?  She wasn't sure she liked that idea.  "In preparation for my departure we've hired Robert Singleton who will be taking over as Executive Vice President here in L.A.  Rob." Matt turned to the grey eyed stranger and Rachel watched as, with a wink in her direction, he stood briefly so everyone could see him then sat back down.  While Matt went on to explain Rob's resume and qualifications for the job, Rachel tried to ignore how his grey eyes seemed riveted on her.  "I'll be bringing Rob around to introduce him to everyone today." Matt finished.  "I have every hope that this change is for the best and if we all continue to work together this company will only continue to grow."

As the meeting ended Rachel quickly stood and tried to leave, but Matt called her back.  She turned and faced him and Rob.  "Rachel?" Matt said gesturing her closer.  "Rachel, I want to introduce you first since I know you're going to be in and out today.  Rob, this is Rachel Kline." Matt said.  Rob held out his hand and smiled.  Rachel took his proffered hand, an uneasy feeling settling in the pit of her stomach as he held onto her fingers just a bit too long while his eyes slowly traveled the length of her body.  "Rachel's only been with the company for about a year and a half but she's one of the best we've got.  We're lucky to have her." Matt boasted like a proud father.  "When you get a chance, I'm sure Rob would love to look at your portfolio, Rachel." He said. 

"Sure." Rachel replied.  "Welcome, Rob.  I'd love to stay and talk, but if you'll excuse me I have an appointment across town," she looked at her watch, "That I am barely going to make it to.  I really have to run." She smiled apologetically.

"I look forward to working together, Rachel." Rob said as she turned to leave.  She smiled politely as she left the conference room once again an uneasy feeling skirting down her spine although she tried to brush it off.  Give him a chance. She told herself.  He seems like a nice enough guy.  And Matt likes him so he can't be that bad.  With a deep breath Rachel pushed her thoughts and judgments of Rob from her mind.  Gathering up her notebooks and purse she left the office hoping she made it to her first appointment on time.  

~~~~~~

"This all seems pretty standard." JC said flipping through the contract Drake Johnson, the agent from TennMan had given him. 

"What does it say about control of the name and the tracks?" Marcus Riley, JC's manager asked.

"Since you're coming to us with a complete album you have control of the name and tracks." Drake replied.  "We've listened to it and like what's on there.  But if you decide to put anything else on the album after signing this we both have control over those new songs."

"I'm not putting anything else on the album." JC said, reading over the contract a little more closely.  He couldn't find anything he really had a problem with.  He'd seen enough of these things in his life to know everything was legit and how it should be.  The monetary agreement seemed fair.  "What about Rachel?" He asked.

"Rachel?" Drake asked.  "Who's Rachel?"

"She co-wrote Rewind with me and sang the song on the album.  Does she need to sign anything?"

Drake shook his head.  "Since you put that all together on your own it's up to you two to agree to something privately.  All that we're responsible for now is production of the album and payment for units sold.  You'll be obligated to do a tour, the length of which will be determined based on the popularity and demand of the album, but we can go over those details later.  If you--"

"I'm so sorry I'm late."

The three men looked up then stood as Rachel approached the table.  JC smiled as he took in her appearance. She looked incredible.  He'd been trying to imagine what she'd look like all day but nothing he'd come up with had been close.  The knee length dark blue cocktail dress, with its plunging neckline and spaghetti straps, did wonders at showing off her perfect curves and the black stilettos she wore made her legs look amazing.  His mouth was suddenly dry. 

"You look incredible." He breathed as he put his arm around her and kissed her quickly before pulling out her chair.  He couldn't take his eyes off her as he settled back in his chair beside her.  She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling as she tucked her long hair behind her ear. 

"Hi, Marcus." Rachel said greeting the man she'd met one day when they'd been in the studio working on their song. 

"Nice to see you again, Rachel." Marcus replied.  "You look great."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"Rachel?" Drake said then looked at JC.  "We were just talking about you." He said when JC nodded.

"Really?" She asked, her eyes sliding over to the man sitting next to her.  "Well, don't believe everything JC tells you about me." She teased, placing her hand on his arm.

"He was just telling me how you helped co-write Rewind and that it was you singing on the album." Drake said.

"Oh." Rachel replied with a chuckle, pink tingeing her cheeks enticingly.  "Well, I guess you can believe that." She conceded, making the men chuckle.

"I like her." Drake commented to JC.

"Me too." JC replied, picking up Rachel's hand and kissing the back of it.  "Let's get back to business." He said, threading his fingers with hers then turning back to the purpose of this dinner.  As much as he would love to just sit there and stare at Rachel all night, he was anxious to get the ball rolling on this record deal.  He'd made the decision to release Kate and he didn't want to waste anymore time stalling.  It was time to finally get this album into people's hands.

~~~~~

"Thanks, Drake." JC said standing and shaking first his hand then Marcus'.  "Marcus, I'll give you a call on Monday."

Rachel smiled as she set her drink back on the table then leaned back in her chair as she watched JC say good night to the two men they'd just eaten dinner with.  When he sat back down beside her he turned to her with a sigh, a big smile on his face. 

"What?" She asked when he let out a laugh.  He leaned forward and kissed her then looked at her smugly.  "You're looking awfully pleased with yourself, Mr. Chasez." She observed.

"You asked me once when my next album was going to be released."  He said.  "Do you remember?"  He asked taking a sip of his wine.

"Yes." Rachel replied.

"I have an answer for you now." He said and Rachel laughed. 

"I'm really excited for you, Jace." She said putting her hand on his arm.  She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

"Mmmm." He said, sitting up and pulling her back in for another kiss.  "What do you say to you and me getting out of here?" He asked, reaching up and brushing his fingers across her cheek, then running his hand across her shoulder and down her arm.

"That depends." Rachel replied.

"On what?" He asked.

"On what you have in mind." She said.  "We haven't even ordered dessert yet so what ever you have in mind has got to be better than the amazing chocolate cake they serve here."

"What if we get a piece to go and I'll feed it to you." He suggested.  Rachel raised one brow.  "In bed." He finished with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Rachel rolled her eyes.  "Alright." She laughed.  JC signaled the waiter and, after ordering a piece of cake to go, paid their tab and they walked towards the door. 

"How was work today?" He asked as she linked her arm with his. 

"Interesting." She replied, as he opened the door and they walked outside. 

"How--" He started but they were interrupted by a couple photographers snapping their picture and asking questions as they got into their car.

"When's the big day?  Are you guys going to get married here in LA or somewhere else?  How about your album JC?  Is it true it's going to be out soon?  Rachel, are you pregnant?  When's the baby--"

Rachel shut her door, silencing the barrage of questions and looked over at JC as he started the car.  "Pregnant?" She asked, stunned.  She looked down at herself.  "Please tell me I do not look pregnant."

"You do not look pregnant." He assured her.  "Besides, there's no way you'd be able to hide it in that dress, anyway." He stated, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, that's definitely a new one."

He shrugged.  "Why else would you still be with me?" He teased.

"Oh I don't know." She said, leaning over and kissing him when he stopped at a red light.  "Maybe because I love you?"

He smiled and took her hand.  "Why was work interesting?"  He asked, getting back to their conversation that had been interrupted.  Rachel sighed as she laid her head back on the seat.  "That was a heavy sigh." He observed with a chuckle.

"Yeah." She said, looking over at him.

"What's going on?" He inquired, his eyes moving back and forth between her and the road in concern.

"A new vice president started today." She told him. 

"And..." He questioned. 

"And..." Rachel shrugged.  "I don't know.  He seems like an okay guy but there's just something about him..." She stopped, trying to analyze the feelings she'd pushed aside earlier when she'd been introduced to Rob.  "You know how there're some people you meet and you can't really explain it but there's just something about them that puts you on edge?"

"That bad?" He chuckled.

"No..." She shook her head, her brows furrowed.  "No.  Not necessarily bad.  Just...interesting..."  She was quiet for a second then turned the conversation to him.  "How did your day go?" She asked.  "Did you get the show done?"

"I hope so." He responded.  "It was insane.  You know I've seen the show before and I've been in show business long enough you'd think I'd be used to everything, but all that work for a ten minute spot?"  He shook his head.  "It was a bit insane."

"You said that already."  Rachel laughed.  "What'd you show them?" She asked.

"Uh..." he blew out a breath.  "The front room--they really liked the piano."

Rachel smiled.  "Did you play anything?" She asked.

His eyes slid over to hers.  "You'll just have to watch the show to find out." He responded cryptically.  Rachel narrowed her eyes at him.

"What else?" She asked.

"The kitchen, the great room, the game room and the bedroom."  Those were the only places they were really interested in."

"I can't wait to watch it." Rachel smiled.  "When is it going to air?"

"March.  The...tenth, I think is what they told me."

"I'll put it in my calendar." She said as he pulled up to his gate, put in his access code and parked in the driveway.  "Now." She said, turning to look at him as he turned the car off.  "What was that you were saying about feeding me chocolate cake in bed earlier?"

"Suivez-moi." He replied with an evil grin.  Rachel's jaw dropped and she looked at him, stunned at the French that had just come out of his mouth.  Her heart skipped as he laughed and got out of the car.  She blinked a few times, trying to process that that had really just happened.  JC speaking French was dangerous.  She wasn't sure her heart was adequately prepared for that particular fantasy to come true.  "Come on, woman." He said opening her door after he'd hurried around the car.  "Your chocolate cake awaits."  She slipped her hand into his and let him pull her from the car.  When he shut her door Rachel wound her arms around his neck. 

"Who needs chocolate cake?" She asked, pressing her lips against his.  "Did you really just say speak French?" She asked when she pulled back.

"What?" He smirked, pressing her back against the Mercedes.  "Oh, that?  Why?  Did you like it?" He asked, brushing his nose against hers seductively--his lips hovering a breath away from hers. 

"Mmmm..." Rachel moaned as a delicious tingle shot down her spine.  "You..." she breathed, looking into his eyes.  "Are dangerous."  He grinned.  "Very, very dangerous." She finished, closing the space between them and kissing him.

"Come on." He said with a chuckle, stepping away from her and threading his fingers with hers.  "The neighbors are going to start to talk if we stay out here very much longer." 

"What do you think?"

Rachel looked up from her magazine at her spot on the couch at the photo studio JC had brought her to.  After their meeting with Marcus and Drake a few weeks ago things had begun moving quickly on production of his album and it was time for photos to be taken for the insert.  He'd asked her if she wanted to come, and since she'd never been to a celebrity photo shoot, Rachel had jumped at the chance.  Unfortunately, she'd been bored while JC and Thomas, the photographer, discussed different ideas they had and she had begun to rethink her decision on coming with him and wasting her Saturday.  Now however, as she looked at JC, she was beyond thankful she'd come.

"Oh, honey." She said, standing up and trying to hold back the giggle that was trying to escape at his ridiculous outfit.  "No."  Rachel shook her head as she walked towards him.

"No?" He questioned, looking down at himself.

"No.  No, no, no." She said, finally losing the battle and laughing.

"What's wrong?" He asked looking genuinely confused.

Rachel just shook her head as she took in his outfit.  "It's a good thing you brought me today.  Why are you so in love with skinny jeans?" She asked raising a brow at the almost indecently tight black pants he was wearing as she stepped closer to him.  "Everybody knows how skinny you are, do you have to constantly draw attention to that fact?  And black mesh?" She picked up the shoulder of the shirt he was wearing.  "This is almost as bad as that whole bowtie fiasco.  Jace, you've poured your heart and soul into this album.  Don't you think you should portray an image that indicates that?"

"Well, yeah." He replied.

"This," she waved her hand over his outfit.  "Is not you."

"Okay, so what is me?" He asked.  Rachel stepped back and looked at him in thought.

"Come on." She said, walking back towards the dressing room.  "Let's go find out." 

~~~~~

JC stood back, arms folded across his chest and a smile playing across his face as he watched Rachel rifle through the clothes on the rack outside the dressing room.  Her brows were drawn tightly together as she scrutinized each piece and the intensely serious expression on her face made him chuckle.  She looked so adorable he just wanted to kiss her and took a step towards her to do just that.

"Here." She said, holding a pair of grey dress pants out to him--halting him in his tracks.  She turned and looked at him, shaking the pants at him--looking at him in question when he didn't immediately take them from her.  With an exaggerated sigh he took them from her then stepped back and waited.  "Seriously?" She grumbled under her breath going back to the clothes rack.  "People think this stuff looks good?"  JC chuckled as Rachel shook her head.  "Okay, try this." She said, finally handing him a simple button down shirt that was a few shades darker than the pants she'd given him a moment ago. He took the shirt from her and went into the dressing room, smiling the whole time. 

"I should hire you to be my stylist." He said through the door.

"Yes, you should." She laughed.

He chuckled.  Though he put on a show about her dramatics in regards to his wardrobe choices, having her here with him made this whole experience a lot more enjoyable.  He'd done so many of these photo shoots in his almost twenty years in the business that it had all gotten to be a bit tedious and boring--stand there, wear this, smile here, look down, stand up...He'd invited her under the guise that he knew she'd never been to one and would be interested in going, but really it was for the selfish reason that he wanted her here to help break up the monotony.  Besides that, the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes when he came back out of the dressing room made up for the fact that this whole photography thing always made him feel a little uncomfortable. 

He'd gotten into show business because he'd discovered the rush that came from performing up on stage at a young age and loved it.  He'd never really understood the whole ‘heartthrob' role he'd supposedly been typecast in while in N SYNC.  He was just a regular guy who had happened to catch a few lucky breaks and wound up having the chance of a lifetime presented to him.  Fashion had never really been his strongpoint.  As part of the group he had worn what their stylists had told him to when in actuality he was a very casual guy at heart--much more comfortable in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt  and his flip flops than leather or a tuxedo. 

"Much better." Rachel said her eyes glittering as she stepped towards him.  "Roll the sleeves up." She said, cocking her head to the side as she took in his appearance while he began doing as she suggested.  "No wait!" She said, holding up a hand then turning back to the rack.

"JC?" Thomas, the photographer, came searching for him.  "What's taking so long?  I don't have all day."

"Sorry.  She didn't like the outfit I chose." JC smiled and tilted his head in Rachel's direction.  Thomas huffed out a breath and turned muttering something about celebrity attitudes and unwanted interference under his breath. "Come on, Rach." JC said trying to urge her along.  "Time is money and it's not my money today."

"Here." She said, holding out a white collared shirt and grey sweater.  "Take it off." She said, indicating the grey shirt she'd originally had him put on.  JC rolled his eyes and sighed as he began unbuttoning his shirt.

"I take it back.  I don't think we'd survive if you were my stylist." He teased.

"Trust me." She said with a smile.  "I'm a designer.  I know what I'm doing.  This will be better."

He narrowed his eyes at her as he pulled the grey shirt off and put his hands on his hips.  "I think you just wanted to see me naked." He accused with a smirk.

"Yeah, because it's been so long." She replied dryly, causing him to chuckle.  He grabbed the new shirt she wanted him to wear and finished dressing then held out his arms. 

"What do you think?" He asked.

"Turn around." Rachel replied, folding her arms as she cocked her head to the side and studied him.  He did so, feeling a little like he was eight years old again and his mother was inspecting his outfit before they left for church, making sure he hadn't gotten his dress clothes dirty playing outside with the kids next door.

"Well?" He asked once more facing her, putting his hands in his pockets and striking a pose. 

"Perfect." She giggled then leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.  "Now get out there," she said, putting her hand on his chest.  "Before I get my head chewed off and I'm banned from ever coming to a photo shoot with you again."

~~~~~  

Rachel watched with a curious excitement as JC was put through the paces of what she assumed was a typical photo shoot.  In addition to the grey and white outfit she'd picked out, she'd helped him with two other wardrobe changes and now stood, one arm around her middle while her other was raised--her thumb nail between her teeth--as Thomas had JC sitting in a large overstuffed chair wearing what was her favorite outfit.  The jeans and simple white T-shirt did strange things to her heart.  Although there was no question JC cleaned up well and was pretty damn sexy when he was wearing a suit that fit him well, the simple boy-next-door look he had going on now was down right dangerous.

"Great!" Thomas exclaimed as he kept the camera clicking.  "Look off to the side." He pointed to the left and Rachel's heart skipped when JC's expressive blue eyes caught and held hers.  "Perfect!  Love that look.  Keep it up."  Rachel smiled and felt her cheeks warm slightly at his overt staring.  The look in his eyes never failed to make her knees weak.  It didn't matter how long they'd been dating, or the fact that they were practically engaged; somehow she knew he'd be able to get to her even when they were old and gray and had been together for fifty years. 

Fifty years.  She smiled.  That's a nice thought.  I wonder...

"You." Thomas snapped his fingers, bringing Rachel out of her thoughts.  She looked behind her to see who he was motioning to.  No one was there so she turned back.  "You." Thomas pointed to her.  "Come on."

"Rachel." JC supplied her name to the photographer.

"Me?" Rachel put a hand to her chest in surprise.

"Yes, you." Thomas said.  "Rachel.  Is there anyone else around right now?"  Rachel shook her head.  "I need you."  He gestured with his arm.  Rachel looked at JC wide-eyed, but he just shrugged his shoulder.  "Come on, come on." Thomas said impatiently.  Rachel walked towards him.  When she got closer to him, Thomas put his hands on her shoulders and guided her over to where JC now stood standing.  

"Wait, wait, wait." Rachel said.  "I'm not...don't photograph me!"  Her heart started pounding in nervousness.  "This is JC's album, not mine.  Besides, I'm hardly wearing any make up and my hair..." She ran her fingers through her hair

"You're perfect." Thomas said, as if he didn't hear any of her objections.  "Stand there.  JC put your arms around her..." He trailed off as JC moved to stand behind Rachel and put his arms around her waist.  "Great!" He said, snapping his camera.

"What is going on?" Rachel asked looking at JC, confusion written on her face.

"I don't know." He replied, leaning down and placing a kiss to her neck.  "But I've learned it's better to just go along and not argue."

"Rachel put your head down." Thomas said.  She did so and the camera clicked a few more times.  "Now turn around and face him."

Rachel turned in JC's arms and looked up at him.  He just grinned at her and tightened his arms around her before lifting one hand and placing it on her face.  Rachel's breath caught at his gentle touch and the fire that was in his eyes.  Almost as if he had forgotten where they were he lowered his head and kissed her but Rachel remained stiff in his arms--all too aware of where they were and who was watching them.  "This is not the time or the place, JC." She told him pulling back slightly.

"Relax." He whispered.  "I trusted you with all the wardrobe changes, trust me with this.  I know what I'm doing." 

Rachel looked into his eyes for a moment then sighed and gave in, relaxing against him when he kissed her again.  She gasped when, a second later, he suddenly dipped her backwards.  Rachel put her arms around his neck and held onto him as he continued kissing her, then slowly brought her back up. 

"Love it!" Thomas called out and Rachel giggled.  She stood, looking at JC for a moment before registering the fact that the constant clicking of the camera had stopped.  She looked over her shoulder at Thomas.

"Are we done?" She asked, looking back at JC in curiosity.

"I don't know." He answered with a shrug of one shoulder. 

"I hope you'll forgive me." Thomas said, walking towards them.  JC released Rachel and she turned to face the photographer.  "I just couldn't resist.  You two are beautiful together." He held out his camera displaying one of the pictures he'd taken of them on the digital screen.  Rachel smiled when she saw the shot.  The look in JC's eyes as he stood looking down at her--his hand against her face--made her stomach quiver slightly.

"I think I'm going to need a copy of that." JC said behind her, echoing her thoughts.  Rachel looked up at him over her shoulder and smiled.

"I'll put them with the proofs of the other shots." Thomas said, taking his camera back.  "I'll send them over in about a week."

"We're done?" JC asked.

"We're done." Thomas nodded.

"Great." JC said, moving to stand beside Rachel as he put his arm around her shoulders as they walked back to the dressing room area.  "I'm thinking..." He pursed his lips as he thought.  "Lunch and a movie?" He looked down at her.

"Mmmm...you just read my mind." Rachel said, leaning up and pressing her lips against his.  "Let's get out of here."

~~~~~~

"Rach?" JC called out as he walked into his house Friday night.  He'd seen her car in the driveway and was anxious to see her.  She'd been pretty busy at work the last week and they'd hardly spent any time together but the smell of whatever she had cooking made his mouth water and stopped him in his tracks.  He inhaled deeply. 

"I hate you." Justin said behind him as he too caught the smell of what Rachel had going for dinner.  "She's hot, and she cooks?  Where did you find her?" He shook his head in disbelief.

JC chuckled as he put his keys down on the counter as they walked through the kitchen to the great room.  "She found me." He said turning and smiling at Justin over his shoulder.

"Who found you?" Rachel asked, looking up from her spot on the floor, as they came into the room. 

"You did." JC said stopping at the sea of papers she was surrounded by.  "What's all this?" He asked, grinning at her frazzled state.  Her hair had been pulled up and secured behind her in a messy bun and the sleeves of her blue collared shirt were rolled up.

"This," Rachel sighed, looking up at him as she brushed some hair from her face and propped her elbow on the knee of the leg she had bent up.  "Is what's going to be my life for the next couple of months." Rachel said, spreading her arms wide.  "We just got a huge account to do a new office building being built downtown and I'm heading the design team."

"That's great!" JC offered sincerely.  "Congratulations!"

"Thanks." She smiled.  "Sorry about the mess.  I needed somewhere quiet I could spread this all out and get a start on some ideas. I've got dinner in the oven."  She offered in apology.

"Hey, whenever you want to cook you just come on over." JC said.

"And if Jace gets on your nerves you can come over and cook at my place." Justin offered, flopping down on his stomach on the couch behind Rachel. 

"I don't think Jessica would appreciate me cooking in her kitchen." Rachel replied with a smile at Justin.

"It's not her kitchen." He mumbled under his breath.  Rachel looked at him in question, caught off guard at the bitterness she could sense behind his words. 

"What's for dinner?" JC asked shrugging out of his jacket and throwing it onto the chair he was standing next to.

"Lasagna."

"I love you." JC said with a wink bending down and placing a quick kiss to her lips.

Rachel smiled up at him.  "It should be done soon.  I'll get this cleaned up and we can eat."

"Alright.  I'm going downstairs.  Call me when it's ready." He said as he headed to the stairs.  "Justin, you coming?" He asked, stopping and turning back.

"Yeah." Justin waved his hand.  "Yeah.  I'll be down in a sec." He said, making no move to stand.  JC left the room and Rachel began gathering up the pictures, sketches and fabric samples she'd been trying to put together for the last two hours.  After leaving work early this afternoon she'd gone to the grocery store to get ingredients for dinner. Putting the frozen lasagna in the oven and mixing up a pan of brownies, she'd sat down and began the project she knew was going to dominate and take over her life in the coming months.  

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Rachel asked looking at Justin over her shoulder.

"Sure." He replied.

"Jessica won't mind?" Rachel inquired casually.  His comment from earlier made her wonder if something were going on between the two of them--some discord the public and their friends hadn't caught onto yet.

"She won't notice." He replied.  Rachel turned and put her arm up on the couch.  "She's not home right now."

"Trouble in paradise?" She asked looking at him with a smile as she tried to lighten the mood.  He remained quiet.  "What's going on, Justin?"

"Nothing." He answered automatically.  Rachel narrowed her eyes at him.

"Ok, I know I haven't known you all that long, but do you really expect me to buy that?" She asked, looking at him pointedly.

He sighed and turned to lie on his back and looked up at the ceiling.  "Do you...does Jace ever get on your nerves?" 

Rachel laughed.  "Does Jace ever get on my nerves?" She asked, one brow raised.  "Really?  I would have thought you'd know the answer to that question." She chuckled.

"No." Justin turned his head to look at her.  "That's not what I mean."  He rolled his eyes.  "Obviously I know he gets on your nerves.  He gets on my nerves and I've known the guy since I was eleven, but what I meant was...does he ever really get on your nerves.  Does he ever just make you so mad you could..." He paused.

"I could...?" Rachel prompted, concerned at where exactly this conversation was going.

"You could leave?" He finished quietly.

"Leave?" Rachel questioned, stunned.  She put a hand on his arm.  "Justin..."

"I love her, but I'm not sure I'm still in love with her.  Things were good and I was happy but now..." He shook his head.  "We fight all the time and I...I think we're done."

Rachel was quiet as he stayed staring up at the ceiling, sympathy weighing down her heart.  "I just can't catch a break." He chuckled bitterly.  "First there was Veronica, then Britney," he began ticking girls off on his fingers.  "Then Alyssa, Jenna, Cameron and now Jessica." 

"Maybe..." Rachel paused, surprised at the thought that had popped into her head.  He turned to look at her and a surreal feeling swept through her.  Was she really sitting here, giving relationship advice to Justin Timberlake?  She felt tempted to laugh at the absolute ridiculousness of the situation.  Why in the world would Justin Timberlake--Mr. Experience, himself--need relationship advise from her?!  But as she sat there looking into his troubled blue eyes she knew she needed to try.  He was one of JC's closest friends and he had obviously sought her out to talk to her about this.  Why, she didn't know, but she knew she couldn't just sit there while he was hurting and say nothing.

"Sometimes people just drift apart." She said.  "When you're in a relationship you're either going to get stronger and move forward together or you're going to stagnate and begin moving apart." She let that sink in for a second, wondering where this advice was coming from.  I wonder if this is how Megan feels when she talks to me.  Rachel thought then continued.  "Justin, you've had a girlfriend practically every day for the last twelve years of your life.  And they've all been very public relationships.  Every time you break up with someone it seems like two seconds later you're with someone else.  It's like you can't be alone but maybe that's what you need right now.  Some time to just be alone--re-evaluate a few things in your life, figure out what it is you really want. Who knows?" She shrugged with a smile.  "You might find you like being alone."  He opened his mouth to say something as the oven began beeping.  "Dinner's ready." She said, finally standing.  She held out her hand to him.  When he stood Justin put his arms around her and hugged her.

"Thanks."  He said.  "You know, every time I hang out with you I find something else I like about you.  Jace better be careful. I might steal you away." He teased, pulling back. 

Rachel laughed as he let her go.  "Remember how you're going to think about taking a break from having a girlfriend for a while?" She asked. 

"Yeah." He pouted.  "Too bad." He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Ahem." JC cleared his throat as he walked upstairs. 

"Hi, honey." Rachel said, smiling brightly as she skipped over to him and put her arms around him.  She made a show of planting a big kiss on his lips then pulled back.  "How was your day?" She asked.  JC rolled his eyes and shook his head though a grin broke out.  "Are you hungry?" She asked.

"Starving." He replied.

"Come on then." She said, looping her arm with his.  "Let's eat."

The three of them sat down to the dinner Rachel had prepared and enjoyed talking and laughing together--JC and Justin keeping Rachel entertained with stories from their days in the group while she told them a few stories of her and Megan's adventures growing up.

"You know, you guys should really think about getting back together." Rachel remarked as she finished her glass of wine.  JC and Justin just looked at each other across the table.  "What?" She asked.

"Is this the fan in you speaking?" JC teased, his blue eyes sparkling. 

"No." Rachel defended.  "Ok, maybe," she conceded and both guys chuckled.  "But think about it!" She added quickly.  "With the Jonas Brothers still huge and Menudo and The New Kids on the Block with their reunion last year and I just heard The Backstreet Boys are releasing another album later this year...it's perfect.  You guys could totally do a reunion.  Boy bands are making a comeback." She said as if she were an expert on the subject.  "You don't want to miss jumping on the bandwagon do you?" She asked.

Justin laughed.  "Have you been talking to Johnny?" He asked.  "Besides, Jace can't do anything right now till he finds out what his album is going to do.  He's locked into a tour until at least the end of the year."

"Well, it was just a thought." Rachel sighed wistfully.

JC put his arm across the back of her chair.  "Patience." He said his lips twitching up at the corners as his eyes once more strayed to Justin's then connected once more with hers.  Rachel turned to look at him, her eyes searching his at his response.

"Patience?"  She asked.  "That's all you're going to say?  Patience?  Have I mentioned the fact that I hate your cryptic, vague little answers to things?"

He grinned mischievously. 

"I may be a fan." She said pointing a finger at him, "But I am also your girlfriend and if I find out that you two," she waved her finger back and forth between him and Justin, "are planning something with the other guys and you're not telling me..." She stopped.

"What?" He questioned, leaning towards her.  "What are you going to do?  I'm not afraid of you."

Rachel raised one brow as she leaned back and folded her arms across her chest.  "You're going to remember what it's like to sleep all alone in that bed of yours." She threatened.  Justin began giggling.

"Ooh, sassy!" Justin commented with a grin.  "I like it."

"You're bluffing." JC said, leaning towards her.

"Says who?" Rachel replied.

"Says me." He replied.  "You couldn't stay away from me even if your life depended on it." He said arrogantly.

Cocky brat.  Rachel thought.  "Wanna bet?" She batted her eyes at him.  His arrogant attitude really got under her skin sometimes.

"If you think you're strong enough." He answered, sitting back in his chair.  "But remember the last bet we made," he warned.  "And how that turned out." He winked at her.  Her cheeks warmed at the remembrance of how he'd made quick work of the bet they'd made regarding the mile-high club on their way to Paris.

Rachel shook her head.  "One of these days, JC Chasez." She threatened.  "One of these days..."         

~~~~~~

A million faces in a crowd
You will always shine them out
She never looked so beautiful from down here
Living illusions darling
I can't face the truth
Seeing the dream of you and me
But it's not meant to be
Another disaster
My heart has been shattered again
It's two a.m. in the morning
And I'm crying now, crying now
Lying in my bed

Rachel stopped as she was flipping through the channels on the television Tuesday evening when a familiar song caught her ear.  She and JC had been looking through the proofs from the photo shoot last weekend for the last hour trying to decide which ones were the best.  Finally, when his perfectionist attitude began irritating her she'd given up and had sat up on the couch leaving him on the floor below.  She smiled as she watched JC finish his performance of his new single on Jay Leno.  She reached out and began combing her fingers through his hair as he sat on the floor between her legs.  "I forgot you'd taped this yesterday." She said as the song continued. 

"Hmmm?" He twisted and looked up at her, clearly still absorbed in the picture choosing process.  Rachel smiled and pointed to the television in front of them.  He turned and looked at himself on the screen.  "Oh, yeah." He went back to looking at the pictures spread out around him on the floor. "What do you think of this one?" He asked holding one up.

"I told you," Rachel said, leaning down her hand running down his chest as she rested her chin on his shoulder.  "I like those three and that one up there," she pointed to the one's she'd already picked out.

"Not this one?" He asked.

"It's okay." She offered.  "But those other ones capture more of your personality and the feeling of the album."

"Hmmm." He hummed.  Rachel smiled as she leaned back and began rubbing his shoulders. 

"Ooh, why are you so stiff?" She asked, as she felt the tightness in his muscles.  "What exactly have you been doing?"  She teased.

"Mmmm.  I don't know.  But that feels really good." He groaned, his head falling forward as her thumbs rubbed circles at the base of his neck.

"You're so tight!  Lay down." Rachel instructed looking down at him.  She removed her hands from him as he sat up and turned off the television.

"You don't have to ask me twice." He smirked as he moved the pictures out of the way.

"And take off your shirt." She requested, giving him one of the pillows from the couch.  He did so then lay down on his stomach on the floor.  Rachel moved to straddle him, rubbing her hands together for a second to try and warm them before touching him.  JC let out another groan as she went to work once more on his shoulder muscles.  "Are you just stressed about the album or is something else going on?" She asked, her fingers working over his warm skin.

"Mmmm...just the album I guess." He replied, shifting slightly beneath her.  She felt him tensing up in response to the knots she found and began working on.

"Relax, Jace." She reminded him with a chuckle but he didn't seem to be listening to her.  "Relax." She whispered as she leaned over him.  She felt him shudder slightly when she placed her lips against his ear and smiled as she sat back on her heels, running her hands down his back then moving them back up to his shoulders once more, the heels of her hands pushing into his muscles.  The pressure she exerted elicited a moan of pleasure from him and she smiled again.  "It's a great album." She stated.  "You don't need to be so worked up over it."  

"I know, I know." He said his voice slightly muffled by the pillow.  He turned his head to the side as he continued talking.  "I've just...worked really long and hard on this one, you know?  I've put so much of myself into it this time and people have been asking me about it for years.  What if...what if no one likes it, Rach?  What if I disappoint everyone again?"

"You're not going to disappoint anyone." She said, moving her hands down his back--concentrating first on one side then the other. 

"How do you know?" He asked.

"Because I'm your biggest fan and I love it!" She replied, making him chuckle.

"I think you're a little biased." He told her.

"How so?" Rachel asked, her hands continuing to knead the muscles of his back. 

"You're my girlfriend." He said, turning suddenly beneath her--startling her.  "It's your job to tell me it's good." He finished, putting his hands on her hips to steady her.  She smiled down at him from her new position straddling his waist.  Placing her hands down on the floor on either side of his shoulders she leaned over him. 

"Regardless of our relationship, it's a great album." She said. 

"Promise?" He asked, looking up at her one hand moving down as he caressed her thigh.

"I promise." She replied leaning down and placing her lips against his.  As she became absorbed in his kiss JC slowly rolled once more so she was now the one with her back on the floor--one of his arms rested beneath her shoulders while his other hand caressed her waist, bringing her closer to him.  He took his time kissing her, his tongue slowly exploring her mouth and she felt herself melting into the floor.  She kept her eyes closed when he pulled back slightly. 

"Uh-oh." He whispered against her mouth.

"What?" Rachel inquired, slowly opening her eyes to look up at him.

His eyes slowly traveled down the length of her body then connected with hers again, the corners of his lips twitching upwards.  "You're still wearing your shirt." He cocked his head to one side.  "What are we going to do about that?"

She couldn't help smiling as she ran one hand up his chest.  "Oh, I don't know."  She told him.  "You're pretty smart.  I'm sure you'll figure something out." 

He grinned wickedly as he lowered his head and began devouring her neck.  Rachel giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  His hands began working on removing her of her shirt...until his phone began ringing.  With a groan JC pulled away from her.

"Ignore it." Rachel said, her arms dropping down as he sat up beside her and pulled it from his pocket. 

"I can't." He replied looking at her apologetically as he answered the call.  "Hey, Marcus." He said and Rachel tried not to be upset.  This is a good thing.  She had to remind herself.  "Yeah, I'm working on it." He said.  "I was looking at the pictures before you called."  He looked over at Rachel and winked.  She smiled at him from where she still lay on the floor.  "I'll have something to you tomorrow." He promised.  After ending the call, JC turned his phone off and put it up on the couch, then rejoined her on the floor.  "Where were we?" He asked.

February

"Rachel?"

Rachel cringed as Rob called out her name Monday morning.  She'd hoped she could sneak by his office without having to talk to him, but no such luck.  "Yeah?" She asked, stepping back and standing in his doorway.

"We just got the latest specs back from the architect on the Cooper building." Rob said standing up.  "Come take a look." He motioned her into his office.  Rachel hesitated.  She glanced over her shoulder hoping someone was walking by that she could pretend she really needed to talk to, but of course the hallway was empty.  She stepped into Rob's office, pushing back the uneasy feeling she got whenever she was within ten feet of the guy.  It had been more than two weeks and she still hadn't been able to figure out what it was about the guy she didn't like.  But he gave her the creeps and, lucky her, she was going to be working closely with him on this project for a while. 

Rachel shifted the notebooks she'd been carrying, holding them up against her chest as she stepped up to the table he'd laid the blueprints out on.  Rob stood up and came around to stand beside her.  "Hmmm." She hummed feigning interested.  "Looks g-good." She was startled when he placed his hand at the small of her back and she turned to move a step away from him.  "I've really got to go." She said, tucking her hair behind her ear and backing towards the door. 

"I was hoping we could go to lunch and talk about any ideas you have." He said, matching her step for step. 

"I-I can't." She said.  "Sorry." She smiled.  "I've got lunch plans already for today." She lied.

"Tomorrow then?" He asked as she turned and started walking down the hallway. 

"I'll have to look at my calendar." She called out non-committaly, before quickly ducking into her cube at the end of the hall. 

Rachel shivered in disgust as she sat down in her chair.  Setting her notebooks on her desk she picked up her cell phone and quickly typed out a text message to Megan.

Have I mentioned the fact my boss totally creeps me out?

She opened her email to check the latest messages she'd received and waited for Megan's reply.  When her phone vibrated a few seconds later Rachel quickly picked up the small electronic devise.

What happened?

Rachel sighed.  That's a good question.  What had happened?  He touched me briefly? In a completely non-threatening way?  She thought.  And asked me out to lunch?  Why the hell am I freaking out?  Still she felt almost...dirty after the whole encounter. 

Nothing really.  I'm probably just overreacting. How's the story coming?

Since Megan had gone on maternity leave a week ago, she'd made good on her threat to write a story with Rachel and JC as the basis for her characters.  Rachel cringed every time she thought about what her best friend was working on.  She had yet to see any of her work and it made her anxious.

Good. 

Megan's answer left a lot to be desired, but Rachel decided to just play it off.  Hopefully she would get this ‘writing bug' out of her system before it went too far.  She was counting on the fact that Megan would be too busy with the baby in a few days to work on it and would forget about her aspirations on becoming an author.  Rachel leaned back in her chair and pressed the second speed dial number she'd finally programmed into her phone a few weeks ago.  Counting the rings she waited for the sound of his familiar voice.

"Hey Beautiful." He said, answering after the third ring.

"Hey." Rachel breathed a sigh of relief, the lingering unease from her brief encounter with Rob disappearing.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." She smiled.  "I just needed to hear your voice.  Wanna go to lunch with me today?" She asked, hopeful.

JC blew out a breath.  "I wish I could, Rach.  I'm doing a radio spot in an hour then I've got to book it across town to tape Ellen.

"Oh," Rachel replied, disappointed.  "I forgot."  She tried not to let his sudden busyness get to her.  He was a musician after all, with an album due to hit shelves in a little over than a month and depending on how successful this second CD was his schedule could become very busy the rest of the year.  While part of her hoped this album did well, for his sake, a small part of her was hoping it wouldn't.  She'd gotten used to spending so much time with him.  Having to suddenly cut back on that time was going to be an adjustment--one that she wasn't sure she was ready to make just yet. 

"Can I take a rain check?" He asked.  "What about dinner?"

"I'm working late tonight." She informed him.  JC wasn't the only busy one in this relationship. 

"I could bring something by later." He offered.

"What time are you going to be done today?" Rachel asked.

"Uh...well Ellen should be over by four then I've got to go down and meet with Marcus to go over a few things about the album.  Justin called a little bit ago and wanted to come over and mess around in the studio, but I can tell him we have to do it another day."

"No." Rachel shook her head.  "I should be done by seven--I hope.  How about I bring dessert over when I'm done here."

"Mmmm," He hummed and she could picture his adorable smile.  "That's an intriguing idea.  Tell me more."

Rachel chuckled.  "I think I want to surprise you." She said.

"Now you've really got me intrigued." He replied.

"That was the plan." Rachel informed him with a smile. 

"Seven?" He asked.

"Probably closer to eight." She said.  He groaned and she giggled.  "I gotta go." She said.  "Good luck with everything today."

"Thanks." He replied.  "I love you."

It still made her heart skip to hear those words from him and her smile grew.  She knew she'd never get tired of hearing him say that.  "I love you, too." She said quietly then ended the call with him, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she just sat in her chair for a moment.  It was hard to fathom sometimes, the happiness she'd found with JC.  Who'd have ever thought? She pondered, setting the phone back on her desk.

"I couldn't help overhearing," Rob said, startling her from behind.  Rachel gasped and turned around in her chair.  "Did your lunch plans fall through?" He asked his grey eyes hopeful.

"Nope." Rachel lied smoothly.  "I'm going out to lunch with some friends and just called to invite someone else but he couldn't go."

"Not just someone else." Rob said with a knowing smile as he sat down in the chair bedside her desk.

Did I invite you to sit down? Rachel wanted to ask but remained quiet, hoping by doing so he would get the hint and leave--quickly.

"Husband?" He asked, his eyes traveling over her and Rachel had the urge to cover up even though the vest and white shirt she wore was in no way revealing. 

"Boyfriend." She answered automatically, wishing instantly that she'd told him it was her husband she'd been talking to.  The interest in his eyes suddenly doubled and she fought the urge not to throw up.

"Oh," he replied.  "I just thought...with that ring..." He gestured at her hand.  Rachel looked down at the diamond ring that had been on her finger since Christmas.

"Well, we're more or less engaged." She told him.

"Which is it?" Rob asked his expression calculating.  Rachel looked at him in question.  "More or less?"

"More." Rachel said, praying for a way to get rid of this guy.  Why does he have to be the Vice President? She questioned.  If it were anyone else she wouldn't think twice about resorting to rudeness to get him out of her work space, but she couldn't do that with Rob.  Not without risking her job.

"Well." Rob said, patting her desk and standing.  "My offer still stands for lunch tomorrow." He said.  "Let me know."

"I will." Rachel said, watching as he left.  "Not." She muttered under her breath as she turned back to her computer.  She worked for a few more hours, waiting until she saw Rob leave for lunch before heading back towards the kitchen.  Walking into the back room Rachel smiled when she saw Aubrey sitting at the table, looking through a magazine.

"So what's the latest gossip?" Rachel asked as she put her Lean Cuisine in the microwave and sat down next to the receptionist.  The younger girl looked up at her in surprise, the green in her hazel eyes standing out thanks to the sage colored sweater she was wearing.  "Ooh, that's a good color on you." Rachel said with a smile, pointing to the sweater.  "Really brings out your eyes.  I like it."

Aubrey smiled.  "Thanks." She replied.

"So?" Rachel pointed at the magazine Aubrey had been absorbed in moments ago.

"Seriously?" Aubrey asked.  "I'd have thought celebrity gossip would be something you'd want to stay away from now." She teased.  Aubrey was one of the few at the office who knew of her relationship with JC and Rachel smiled.

"What can I say?" Rachel shrugged as she stood when the microwave beeped and pulled out the small entrée of rice and vegetables.  "I'm an addict looking for a fix."  She sat back down and took a bite.  "Jace doesn't like watching the entertainment shows with me--for obvious reasons--and since we've been spending a lot of time together I'm feeling very disconnected.  Help a girl out." She finished, taking another bite.  Aubrey laughed.

"Alright, well..." Aubrey looked back at the magazine and flipped back a couple pages.  "Says here that Brad and Angie are pregnant."

"Again?" Rachel asked in surprise.  "Good grief, that woman needs to give it a rest."

"Yeah, I know.  I totally agree." Aubrey nodded.  "That's really what everyone's talking about right now," she flipped through a couple more pages.  "That and Justin's breakup--but ‘Brangelina' seems to be winning out what with them adopting again last year.  I don't know--"

"Wait," Rachel interrupted her.  "Justin's breakup?" She asked, stunned.

Aubrey looked at her in surprise.  "I would have thought you of all people would have known about that!"

Rachel shook her head.  "You'd think so, huh?  But I...what does it say?" She asked, leaning forward to look at the magazine.  Aubrey slid it so it lay on the table between them.

   "Jessica moved out over the weekend." Aubrey supplied.  "Apparently they were ‘moving in different directions,'" she read the snippet in the news column, "And they decided it ‘just wasn't working anymore.'"

"Wow." Rachel said, sitting back in her seat, her lunch forgotten.  "I'm shocked."

"I'm not." Aubrey said.  Rachel looked at her in question.  "I don't like her and I never really understood why he was with her to begin with.  She was always so...mean and unhappy.  I mean, come on!  She was dating Justin Timberlake!  What in the world did she have to be unhappy about?"  Aubrey sighed as she shook her head and closed the magazine.  "And you could tell something was up between them.  Most of the time when they were photographed together they were never touching.  There was always several inches of space between them.  If that isn't a sign then I don't know what is."  She glanced over her shoulder at the clock on the wall.  "Ugh," she sighed.  "Back to work." She stood and threw the wrappers from the fast food she'd eaten for lunch away.  "See ya."

"Bye." Rachel smiled and held up her hand as Aubrey left then pulled the magazine they'd been looking at towards her.  Opening it she flipped to the page Aubrey had been reading to her about Justin and looked at the picture of him and Jessica that had been taken a few weeks ago and frowned.  Looking at the picture one could totally see the signs that all was not well in his world.  Rachel's eyes took in Jessica's notorious scowl.  Aubrey's right.  She thought closing the magazine and quickly finished her lunch.  What in the world is she always so unhappy about?

~*~

You will never guess what I am buying at the grocery store right now.

Rachel sent the text to Megan later that evening then shook her head at herself.  She'd once sworn she'd never be this ridiculous over a guy, but love did funny things to a person.  As she put her items up on the conveyer and waited in line her phone vibrated in her pocket.  She smiled as she answered it.

"If you tell me you're buying strawberries and whip cream I'm going to laugh." Megan said.

"Then I won't tell you." Rachel said with a giggle.

"Rachel!" Megan exclaimed. 

"I know!" Rachel responded, hanging her head.  "I know.  Pretty sure I'm the most ridiculous person ever!" 

"Going to a party?" Megan asked, trying to hold back her laughter, but failing miserably.

"Shut up!" Rachel said, laughing herself.  "I'm checking out.  Can I call you back?"

"Yeah." Megan said, still laughing. 

"‘Kay, bye."  Rachel finished checking out, trying not to give any indication she was laughing at herself for doing something she once swore she'd never do. 

"Have a good night." The cashier said, handing her the bag.

Oh I will.  Rachel thought and smiled.  "Thanks.  You too." She said, taking the bag and leaving the store.  Once outside and back in her car she called Megan back.

"Tell me what you think." Megan said without saying hello. "She trembled as his lips slowly traveled upwards, lingering right below her ear.  Her knees felt weak and she struggled to breathe as he closed his lips over her earlobe--his teeth lightly grazing the sensitive skin.  She whispered his name.  He pulled back slightly.  He laid her back on the mattress and slowly crawled up her body--his hands moving up her sides seeking the hem of her shirt.  Finding it, his fingers slipped beneath the fabric, caressing her warm skin as he brought the fabric up and over her head.  His hand moved down her leg, bringing it up and hooking it around his hip as he moved a leg between her own and knelt above her.  ‘Without you I would be nothing.'  He confessed as he continued to lavish her body with his praise.  She shuddered, her entire body engulfed in the sensations he was provoking as his lips roamed across her skin.  She felt him suck on the skin above her right hip and her eyes rolled back.  As his teeth nipped her--his tongue then working to sooth the sting--she couldn't help the moan that escaped as he marked her.  His--"      

"What the hell are you reading me?!" Rachel exclaimed with a laugh as she interrupted Megan.

"It's the book I'm writing." Megan said.  "You don't like it?"

"Is this the book about me and JC?" Rachel asked, taken back. 

"Yeah."

"You've turned our beautiful love story into a smutty romance novel?" Rachel asked trying to sound offended though it was all rather comical to her.

"It's the baby." Megan responded.  "I'm so horny right now I can hardly stand it."

"Jackson must be in heaven." Rachel replied dryly.

"He is, but there's only so much we can really do--if you know what I mean." Megan sighed.  "Two more weeks." She reminded herself and Rachel laughed.

"You do realize it's going to be a while after you have the baby that you can do...anything, right?"  Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Megan sighed in disappointment making Rachel laugh again.

"Please don't turn our story into smut." Rachel requested. 

"Well, with you buying strawberries and whip cream on a Monday night, sounds like things are pretty smutty between you two." Megan teased.

"You are such a brat!" Rachel laughed.  "Just because Jace and I have a healthy sex life does not mean things are ‘smutty'."  Megan remained silent and Rachel knew her best friend enough to read the silence.  "I'm serious." She said in response to the unconvinced look she knew was on Megan's face right now.

"You're dating Mr. All Day Long I Dream about Sex." Megan reminded her.  "Are you sure--"

"We're done with this conversation." Rachel interrupted her with a chuckle.

"But--"

"No." Rachel cut her off again.  "Done.  Drop it." She laughed.

"Fine." Megan chuckled.  "Spoil sport." She grumbled.

"Oh brother." Rachel rolled her eyes as she pulled up to the gate outside JC's house.  "I gotta go.  I'll call you tomorrow?"
  

"Sure." Megan sighed heavily.  "I'm just home.  All the time.  By myself."

"Oh, poor baby." Rachel laughed.  "Tell Jackson hi."

"Alright." Megan chuckled.  "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Rachel closed her phone and tossed it into her purse on the seat next to her, chuckling as she pulled into the driveway, parking next to Justin's white Cadillac Escalade EXT.  Grabbing the grocery bag and her purse she got out of the car and let herself into the house. 

"Rach?  Is that you?" JC called out as she shut the front door.  She turned and smiled as he and Justin walked into the foyer.

"Hi." Rachel smiled, putting the bags in her hand down on the floor and going up on her toes to wrap her arms around JC's neck.  She hugged him tightly for a moment, kissed him quickly then stepped back, though she knew he wanted to kiss her longer.  "Hi, Justin." She smiled, turning towards the other guy.

"Hey." He responded with a smile, though his blue eyes lacked their normal sparkle.  Rachel's heart went out to him.  Breakups were never easy, no matter the circumstances, but to have to go through yet another one in the public eye made it just that much more difficult.  Rachel put her arms around Justin and gave him a hug.  She felt him hesitate a second before he put his arms around her in return.

"I'm sorry." She said, pulling back and looking up at him.  He shrugged and put his hands into his pockets as she stepped back and put her arm around JC's waist--his arm going around her shoulders.  Rachel looked up and him and smiled sadly. 

"It's like you said." Justin said, pulling her focus back to him.  "You either grow stronger together or drift apart.  We just...drifted apart.  It was a mutual decision.  You two are lucky.  Don't let it get to the point where you're drifting."  He paused and JC pulled Rachel closer to his side.  "Later." Justin said turning and opening the door. 

"I feel so bad for him." Rachel said as he closed the door.

"He'll be alright." JC said, kissing the top of her head as she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. 

"I hope so." Rachel looked up into his blue eyes.  "How did all your appearances go today?" She asked, reaching up and brushing his hair back.  "You need a haircut." She commented, not waiting for his answer.  "It's getting a little long."

"I'll see what I can do about that." He replied with a wry smile.

"Megan was always the one that liked your longer curls," she told him.  "Personally, I've always preferred your hair shorter." She smiled up at him.  He laughed as he tightened his arms around her and leaned down, finally giving her the kiss he'd been after since she'd walked in.

~*~

"Move in with me." JC said, surprising Rachel one night as they sat on his couch enjoying a rare moment of quiet.  They had both been so busy lately with him doing promo for his album and Rachel with her big design project that after dinner they'd decided to leave the television off and forego listening to any music.  They wanted to just be together.

"Excuse me?" Rachel asked, removing her arms from around him as she sat up and looked at him in shock. 

"Move in with me." He repeated, raising one hand and brushing the back of his knuckles across her cheek as his eyes held hers intently. 

"Are you serious?" She asked a growing sense of excitement filling her.

"Completely."  He answered.  "I was thinking about what Justin said they other day."  He continued.  "I think it's time we did some growing in our relationship, what do you say?  You're over here all the time anyway.  You've got clothes hanging up in my closet and when was the last time you slept at your apartment?" He asked.

"It's been a while." She conceded. 

"It doesn't make sense for you to be paying rent when you practically live here as it is.  Besides I like it when I come home and you're here.  I really like it." He grinned.

"But I'm locked into my lease until May." She told him. 

"So I'll buy it out." He said with a shrug.  "I can afford it." He smiled.  "Or we'll find someone else to buy it out.  It's L.A." He reminded her.  "There's always someone looking for an apartment."

"Pinch me." Rachel said. 

"What?" JC laughed, looking at her in question.

"Pinch me." She said again, a grin breaking out.

"Why?" He chuckled.

"Because I have to be dreaming."  She told him.  "There is no way in hell that you just asked me to move in with you."  She giggled and moved to sit in his lap. 

"You're not dreaming." JC said with a grin as he put his arms around her waist.  Rachel placed her arm around his shoulders then leaned forward and kissed him.  "So we're doing this?" He asked when she pulled back. 

"If you're sure." She replied.

"I am." He assured her.

"Alright." She smiled.  "Ask me again."

He laughed.  "Will you move in with me?"

"Yes." She nodded her head.  "Yes, I will."

"Hello?" She asked, out of breath as she picked up the cordless phone in the kitchen.

"Uh..." the person on the other end of the line hesitated, clearly not expecting a winded female to answer the phone.  "Is JC there?"

"No, he's not home right now.  Can I take a message?" Rachel asked as she tried to calm her heart rate and bent down, stretching out her legs.  She'd woken up this morning and had decided to go for a run.  It had been a few weeks since she'd had a morning free and since it was Saturday and she had no big plans she hadn't been able to pass up the opportunity.

"Who is this?" The mystery caller asked.

"This is Rachel, who is this?" She asked, walking to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water.  The cool air from the appliance felt good on her over-heated skin so she left the door open as her eyes scanned the shelves, making a mental note of what she needed to pick up at the grocery store later.  Milk, yogurt, bread...

"Rachel?" The guy on the other line sounded intrigued.  "As in Rachel, Jace's girlfriend?"

"The one and only." She answered in confused amusement.  "And you are..." She asked, wondering who exactly she was talking to.

"Oh, sorry.  Chris." He said, finally identifying himself. 

"Chris?" Rachel asked as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"Chris Kirkpatrick." He replied and Rachel almost dropped the phone in her surprise.  Chris Kirkpatrick!  No way! She wanted to exclaim, but held it in.  "I don't believe we've ever met." He continued.

"And you would be right." Rachel smiled.  "We haven't."  He chuckled on the other end of the line.  "What can I do for you, Chris?" She asked, taking a few swallows of water then setting the bottle down on the table.

"That's kind of a dangerous question to be asking, girl." He replied and Rachel chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

"Note to self." She said.  "Be careful of what I say around Jace's friends."  Chris laughed.  "You'd think I'd have learned by now, what with Justin hanging around all the time." 

"How is the baby?" Chris asked.

Rachel shrugged, though the man couldn't see her.  "As good as he can be, I guess.  He's been kind of mopey lately--with good reason--but he'll be alright."

"So how come C isn't home?" He asked.  "Where's he at this early on a Saturday?  He usually doesn't get his ass out of bed till at least noon on the weekends."

"Video shoot." Rachel replied.

"Ah."

"He's been in overdrive lately trying to get everything done." Rachel continued.  "They want to release the video next week so it'll have three weeks to play before the album comes out.  I'm going over to see him later... do you want me to tell him anything?" She asked.

"What?  Oh...no." Chris answered.  "I was...I was just calling to...talk.  I tried his cell, but he didn't answer.  I'll call back later...maybe."  Rachel furrowed her brows at the man's stuttering. 

"Alright." Rachel said.  "I'll let him know you called."

"Okay." Chris said.  "Hey, it was nice finally talking to you."

"You too." Rachel smiled.

"Maybe we can make it face to face next time."  He said.

"Yeah, maybe." She replied.  "Bye."

Rachel sat looking at the phone in her hand after ending the call.  "Weird." She said out loud as she stood and replaced the receiver than jogged up the stairs to take a shower.  Between JC's cryptic remarks at dinner a few weeks ago, to the way he and Justin had suddenly become inseparable, to this random phone call from Chris...something was up.  She didn't know what, but something was definitely up.  "Mental note." She said as she stripped out of her running clothes.  "Ask Jace what the hell is going on."  Maybe they're getting back together as a group. She thought, stopping with one foot in the shower.  The teenage fan inside of her suddenly got really excited until the logical part of her brain took over.  If they were getting back together they would have done it by now.  Justin has been hanging around because of the breakup and Chris said he was just calling to talk.  Rachel sighed as she stepped fully into the shower.  And I'm just being ridiculous.

~~~~~~

"Hey you."

Rachel turned, her ponytail whipping around as JC came up behind her.  "Hey." She smiled putting her arms around him and kissed him.  "How's it going?" She asked, stepping back and looking at him. 

He shrugged.  "Alright I guess." He said as he put his arm around her shoulders and they started walking further into the soundstage he was currently filming the video for Satellite on. "It's been a while since I've done a video.  I forgot how much work it is, but you came at the perfect time." He said.  "We just stopped for lunch."

"I had a feeling." She said, holding up the plastic bag she was holding.  He took it from her excitedly then kissed her when he looked inside and found the sandwiches she'd just picked up from their favorite café. 

"You're the best." He said, giving her another kiss. 

"You sure are in a good mood." She laughed.  "I had no idea sandwiches excited you so much.  What's going on?"

"Nothing." He shrugged, leading her over to a couple of chairs set off to the side of the stage he'd been working on.  "I'm just glad to see you, that's all."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him.  "Are you on something right now?" She asked with a laugh.  "You're acting kind of strange."

"No, I am not on something." He said, handing her one of the sandwiches then unwrapping his own.

"How much caffeine have you had today?" She asked, taking a bite of the turkey and cranberry.

He rolled his eyes as he took a bite.  "None." He replied. 

Again Rachel narrowed her eyes as she sat looking at him.  Since spending almost every spare second with him since Christmas, Rachel had begun to pick up on a lot more of his little personality quirks--like that fact that he tended to bounce off the walls and become very easily distracted when he'd had anything caffeinated.  "I got an interesting call this morning at the house." She told him, letting his bizarre behavior slide for the time being.

"Who was it?" He asked.

"Chris." She answered, watching his reaction closely.

"Hmmm." He replied nonchalantly.  "How is he?"

Rachel watched as his eyes darted around the enormous room, taking in all the activity going on instead of looking at her.  She took another bite as she sat observing him.  "What's going on, Jace?" She asked.

"What?" He asked, looking back at her his face the picture of innocence though she saw something behind his eyes that made her suspicious.

"What's going on?" She repeated.

"What do you mean?"

Rachel cocked her head to the side as she looked at him.  "Something's going on.  I'm not dumb."

"I never said you were." He answered.

"I'm going to figure it out." She promised him.

"I'm sure you will." He replied, concentrating once more on his sandwich.  Rachel blew out a frustrated breath as she leaned back in her chair and took another bite, refusing to look at him anymore.

~~~~~

JC smiled to himself as he looked over at his very frustrated, yet incredibly adorable girlfriend.  He knew this was driving her crazy--knowing something was going on but only being given vague answers to her questions.  He wondered what Chris had said to her and if he'd given anything away.  Nothing was for sure yet and until it was they had all agreed to keep everything to themselves, but Rachel was smart.  Sooner or later she'd figure it out and he prayed when she did she wouldn't be too mad at him for keeping it from her.  She'll understand.  He tried to reassure himself.  Finishing off his sandwich and brushing the crumbs from his lap he turned to look at her.  She turned and smiled at him.

"So, have you decided about New York yet?" He asked.  Marcus had booked him to make the talk show circuit back east all next week and he'd asked Rachel to come with him when he'd found out last night.  He had thought, after having her move in, it would help cure the addiction he had for her; but if anything, it was worse.  The more time he spent with her the more he wanted to spend.  It was getting to be a bit ridiculous--bordering on obsessive really-but he couldn't help it.  She was his heart and soul and being away from her even for a few hours was torture.

"I really don't think I can, Jace.  This project at work has me swamped and Megan's going to be having her baby any day now.  I want to stick around in case something happens."

"Nothing's going to happen." He assured her.  "And besides, that's Jackson's job--being there for his wife.  Can't you take a few sick days?" He asked, looking at her pleadingly. 

"It's tempting." She told him.  "But then what happens when I really am sick and I have no more sick time to take?"

"Come on." He begged.  "Everyone takes sick days when they're not really sick."

"And you would know this because..." She left the question hanging in the air with a chuckle.  "Remind me when your last office job was." She teased him.

He brushed her jab away with a wave of his hand.  "It'll be fun." He said.  "There's this great restaurant I found the last time I was there called The Garage.  Great food and they have live jazz every night." He took her hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I don't know..." Rachel drawled and he smiled.  He was winning.  

"Please?" He begged, lifting the back of her hand to his lips.  He looked at her, turning his full powers of persuasion on her.

"Damn you, Joshua!" She shook her head and he smirked.  "You know I can't say no when you look at me like that."  He smirked and Rachel sighed.  "I can't do the whole week, there's just too much going on right now at work.  However," she tacked on quickly when he sank down in his chair with a pout.  "I can probably get Friday off and meet up with you for the weekend.  You're coming back on Sunday right?"

"Yeah." He grinned.

"Alright." She sighed with a smile.  "I'll see what I can do."

"If you can fly out Thursday night you can come to the taping of Regis and Kelly Friday morning with me."

"Oh can I?" Rachel clapped her hands together and bounced in her seat in exaggerated excitement.  "That's what I've always wanted." She smiled sweetly at him.

"Alright, Sassy Pants." He said with a chuckle.  "I--"

"Let's go people!" A voice called out across the room.

"--gotta go, apparently." He said standing and stretching his arms above his head.  "Are you staying?" He asked, turning to take her hands and pull her up from her chair.

"For a minute." Rachel said. "If you want me to."

"Of course I want you to stay." He smiled in answer and pulled her along as he walked back over to the stage.

~~~~~~

"We're here with JC Chasez, best known for being one-fifth of the mega-group N SYNC." Kelly Ripa's introduction sent the audience around Rachel into a frenzy.  "And as a judge on Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew for the past two seasons," more enthusiastic cheers from the girls in the audience, "And he's here today to share some exciting news with us." 

Rachel smiled as she sat and watched JC sitting up on stage with the hosts of the popular morning talk show.  She'd worked her tail off this week to make sure things were more or less under control so she'd be able to take the day off to come support him.  She stifled a yawn.  Her flight had gotten in late last night and they'd had to be here at the studio at an ungodly hour this morning.  Luckily this was it though--this was the last show he had to do and he had promised her after they were done they could go back to the hotel and take a nap before heading out to see the sights.

"So, first off." Kelly said.  "How are you?"

"I'm good." JC said, his trademark grin lighting his face.

"You've been on the show several times before." Regis pointed out.  "Welcome back."

"Thank you.  It's good to be back." JC remarked.

"Life is good?" Kelly asked.

"Life is good."  He nodded.  "Life is really good." He said, rubbing his hands on his thighs. 

"You're a busy guy these days." Regis said.

"Yeah, I'm keeping pretty busy." JC answered.  "You know, I've been blessed.  A lot of things have happened recently that I wasn't expecting--wasn't planning on--and I'm just really happy with the ways things have turned out."

"Now, the reason you're here, as some of you may know," Kelly said turning to the audience.  "Is because you have another album coming out--finally!"

Again the audience erupted and this time Rachel joined in. 

JC laughed where he sat.  "Yep.  Finally." He lifted a hand and scratched the side of his face.  "You know I always said when the right mix of music came together that I'd release something and it finally did."

"I really like the tracks I've been able to listen too so far." Kelly said. 

"Thank you." JC replied, laughing again when the girls in the audience got a little loud. 

"You've got some loyal fans." Regis pointed out.

"Yes I do." JC answered humbly.  "Thank you." He nodded at the audience.  "You know, I've got great fans.  They've stuck with me through a lot.  I just hope this CD lives up to their expectations."

"Oh, I'm sure it will.  But this new CD isn't all that's been keeping you busy recently." Kelly said with a grin.  Rachel watched as the co-host held up a magazine from last month that had a picture of her and JC walking along the Santa Monica Pier--an insert photo showing an enlarged picture of her ring.  Rachel felt her cheeks warm.  JC chuckled self-consciously and Rachel watched as he rubbed the back of his neck.  "Rachel, right?"

"Yeah." JC nodded.  "Her name's Rachel."

"Now, how did you two meet?" Kelly asked.

"Well," JC bobbed his head back and forth.  "She, uh...we actually met about a year and a half ago through some friends but then lost contact with each other for a little while." He said, his eyes straying to Rachel in the audience quickly, then back to the hosts. 

"Is it true she was the interior designer helping you remodel your house last year?" Regis asked.

"Yeah." JC nodded and Rachel could see his cheeks redden slightly from where she sat.  She knew he hated talking about his personal life, but times like this couldn't be avoided.  "Yeah, she walked back into my life one day and nothing's been the same since."

"Awww!" The audience voiced in unison, making Rachel laugh quietly to herself. 

"And you brought her with you today, right?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah." JC looked out into the audience and smiled at Rachel.  "She's here."

Rachel's heart began pounding as one of the cameramen turned his camera towards her.  She smiled and waved, feeling as if her face were on fire.  She was relieved when the camera only stayed on her a few seconds, and fought the urge to sink down into her chair and cover her face with her hands.  She was still getting used to her sudden popularity and the fact that her picture could now be found in several magazines and across the internet. 

"Alright, when we come back JC's going to perform Satellite, the single from his new album Kate due out on..." Regis looked to JC.

"March twentieth." JC supplied the release date.

"March twentieth.  Don't go away." Regis finished, and the audience clapped as the show cut to commercial.

 ~~~~~

"So, how was I?" JC asked after the show was over and he came out to where Rachel had been seated in the front row of the audience. 

"You were great." She said with a smile as she stood.  "I wish you would have warned me they were going to put me on TV, though." She teased as he joined her.

"Sorry." He said with a twinkle in his eye.  "Good thing you're so beautiful." He leaned down and placed a quick kiss to her lips. 

"So I called Megan a second ago." She told him as she looped her arm through his and they began walking towards the guest exit.

"Oh yeah?" JC asked.

"She was flipping out!" Rachel giggled. 

"About the album?" He asked.  "I thought you already told her about it."

"No, about me being on TV." She said.  "I told her you were going to be on the show today but I didn't tell her I was going to be here with you.  She--"

"Great job, JC." Kelly said walking towards them.  "I'm really looking forward to the album."

"Thanks." JC smiled.

"And it was nice to meet you, Rachel." Kelly said, holding her hand out to Rachel. 

"You too." Rachel said taking the woman's hand--smiling and feeling a little star struck.

"Good luck with everything." Kelly said then continued walking down the hall.

"You're hilarious, you know?" JC said, bringing Rachel back down to Earth.

"Huh, what?" She asked turning to look at him.

"When is it going to wear off?" He asked, chuckling.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"You being star struck all the time?"

"Oh, come on.  Cut me a break.  I'm still a newbie when it comes to all of this.  Besides, I don't think you have room to talk, Mr. I Still Get Flustered When I Do Interviews." She poked her finger at his chest.  "How long have you been in the business?"

"That's beside the point." He said brushing off her jab.  "Ready?" He asked as they reached the back door and he buttoned the heavy black jacket he was wearing. 

"No." Rachel shivered.  "There's a very good reason why I stayed in Arizona until I graduated and then where did I move?  Southern California.  I don't do winter."

"We need to toughen you up, Sass." He said, opening the door.  Rachel shivered as she was hit with a blast of icy air.  February in New York was not pleasant for someone with thin blood who was used to sunshine and heat year round.  "What's going to happen when I take you home to Maryland?" He asked, holding the door to the limo the record company had sent to take him back and forth from his hotel to the show.

"It better be in the summer time," she said choosing to ignore the butterflies that came at his talking about taking her home.  As much as she loved him, she wasn't sure she was ready for that just yet.  "Otherwise, I'm going to die." Rachel said dramatically as she slid into the car.  She shivered as he climbed in right behind her and shut the door.  JC laughed as he put his arms around her and pulled her close to his side, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. 

"Guess I'm just going to have to work on warming you up when we get back to the hotel, huh?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, a teasing glint in his eyes.  Rachel rolled her eyes. 

"You know, to hear you talk someone would think that's all our relationship is about-sex."

"You mean it's not?" He asked, pulling back and looking at her in mock surprise.

"No." She laughed.  "Punk." Rachel slapped his chest playfully then laid her head on his shoulder as the heat from the vents finally started seeping through her frozen layers of clothing.  "So..." she drawled as they made their way across town to the hotel.

"So...?" He questioned.

"Valentine's Day is coming up." She said.

"Mmm-hmm." He hummed.  Rachel sat up causing his arm to drop away from her.

"What do you want to do?" She asked.

He slowly raised one brow at her, his eyes leveling with hers.  "I'd answer that, but you just told me our relationship is about more than just sex."

"Oh brother." Rachel rolled her eyes.  "Be serious."

"Okay." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the door of the limo and looked at her.  "What do I want?" He looked thoughtful for a second.

"I didn't ask what you want." Rachel said.  "I asked what do you want to do?"

"You." He replied without hesitation.

"Oh my word!" She threw up her hands in aggravation.  "Okay, you know what." She pointed a finger at him.  "Forget it.  I'm going to come up with something and just surprise you, how's that?" She asked raising her chin stubbornly.   

"That's fine, but it won't beat what I've got planned." He winked at her.

"What you've got..." She trailed off, in shock.  "Seriously?  You already have something planned?"  He nodded once.  "Damn it!" She swore and he giggled, his eyes sparkling as he reached out and took her hand, tugging her back against him.

"Relax." He said.  "It's no big deal.  You don't have to get me anything."

"Yes I do." Rachel whined. 

"Why?" He questioned, looking down at her.

"Because," she sat up and tucked her hair behind her ear.  "Look at all the stuff you've given me and I...what have I given you?  Nothing.  I--"

"Rachel, stop." He placed his finger against her lips, silencing her, then leaned forward and replaced his finger with his lips.  "This isn't a contest to see who can give the other one more stuff, okay?" He reached up and ran his hand over her hair, then cupped her cheek.  "And besides," his eyes locked with hers.  "You've given me more than you'll ever know." He said.  She frowned and he laughed softly then leaned forward and kissed her pout away.  "I love you."

"I love you, too." She answered.

"That's all I need." He said. 

~~~~~~

JC walked into the lobby of Adams & Richards Tuesday morning and was greeted by Aubrey.  After his many visits over the last couple months they'd become sort of friends.  She smiled at him.

"Is she here?" He asked.

"She's in a meeting." Aubrey looked at the clock on the wall behind her.  "But she should be out any minute."

"Is it alright if I go back and wait for her?" JC asked pointing down the hallway that he knew led to Rachel's desk.

"Sure." Aubrey smiled.

"Thanks." He patted the top of the reception desk as he walked past it.  Shoving his hands into the pockets of the jeans he wore JC walked towards Rachel's cubicle.  He smiled, anticipating the look on her face when she returned from her meeting and found him waiting for her.  He loved surprising her--loved seeing her face light up in excitement.  The way her eyes sparkled when she was happy was something he'd never get tired of seeing. 

His progress was halted however, when he passed the conference room that was across from her desk--his eyes zeroing in on Rachel and the fact that she was in the room, alone, with another man and he was standing way too close to her for it to be professional.  He watched as the guy reached his arm out across Rachel, pointing to something that was laid out on the table in front of them.  He saw Rachel step back slightly, but then the guy put his hand at the small of her back and JC's fists clenched but he didn't have much time to process the anger coursing through him before she turned and opened the door.  She looked up as she left the room.  Her eyes met his and she smiled-breathing what seemed to be a sigh of relief.  She walked quickly towards him and put her arms around his neck. As he put his arms around Rachel, hugging her tightly to him, his blue eyes connected with a pair of steel grey ones over her shoulder as the man she'd been in the meeting with paused in the doorway.  The two men silently sized each other up. 

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked looking up at him with a smile and drawing his attention back to where it should be--on her.  He lifted a hand to her face as he kissed her quickly. 

"Just wanted to surprise you." He said with a forced smile.  "Have you had lunch?" He asked.

"Nope." She replied, her eyes sparkling happily. 

"Let's go then." He said the hair at the back of his neck almost standing up as the guy she'd been in the meeting with approached them.  Rachel kept her arms around him and he fought the urge to kiss her, long and hard, right in front of the guy--publicly staking his claim on her; either that or shoving her behind him to protect her.  She was his, damn it!  What right did this guy have, putting his hand on her?  Let alone breathing anywhere near her?  The other man cleared his throat and Rachel turned to look at him.  JC was too busy trying to talk himself out of punching the guy to see the roll her eyes and the disgust on her face that she tried to hide. 

"JC, this is Rob.  Rob, this is my boyfriend, JC.  Rob is the new Vice President and I'm working with him on the Cooper building downtown." Rachel introduced the two men.  Rob smiled and held out his hand. 

"Nice to meet you, JC." He said with a smile, though his eyes remained stony.  JC looked at the guy's outstretched hand but didn't take it.  Rachel looked up at him in question but said nothing. 

"Well, if you'll excuse me." Rob said, turning and walking away down the hall. 

"What the hell was that all about?" Rachel hissed as she turned and set the papers she'd been holding onto on her desk.

He shrugged as he watched her grabbed her purse then draped his arm around her shoulders as he led her outside, all the while trying to come up with some excuse as to why he'd just been so rude to her boss--he knew she wasn't going to let the matter drop.  He'd never been this territorial with a woman before but there was something about the guy that put him on guard. 

"Jace." Rachel turned to look at him as they reached his car.  "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking down at her.

"I've never seen you be so rude to someone.  Something's going on.  Are you mad about something?  Did I do something--"

"Why didn't you tell me about Rob?" He asked.  Rachel pulled back and looked at him in surprise.

"I did." She replied her brows furrowed.  "Remember?  The night I met you for dinner when you were signing the contract with TennMan.  I told you about the new Vice President."

"Yet somehow you forgot to mention his age." He said, looking down at her as he folded his arms across his chest.

"His age?  What the hell does his age have to do with anything?" Rachel paused as she looked at him, her lips turning up in a small smile.  "Joshua," She shook her head in amusement as she reached her hands out and unfolded his arms--stepping up against him.  "Although a part of me loves it when your blue eyes turn green I can assure you, you don't need to be jealous.  You don't need to worry about me." She told him, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair. 

"It's not you I'm worried about." He told her as he pressed her back against the Mercedes. 

"You don't need to worry about anyone." She said, pulling his head down and pressing her lips against his.  "I promise." 

"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked Megan over the phone as she pulled her Jetta into the garage next to JC's Mercedes a few days later. 

"Surprisingly well." Megan answered.  "Although I can't seem to get this damn house clean enough.  I swear!" She continued.  "For a two bedroom condo there sure is a lot to clean."

Rachel chuckled as she got out of the car.  After grabbing the items she'd just bought and had gift-wrapped at the mall she closed the door with her hip.  "So, any big plans tonight to celebrate the Holiday of Love?" Rachel asked.

Megan chuckled.  "No.  Jackson asked me what I wanted to do and I told him I just wanted to stay home so that's what we're doing.  You know me; I don't really do Valentine's Day.  Did you finally find something for JC?" She asked.

"Yes." Rachel sighed as she walked into the house.  "Finally!  I actually found a couple things--" Rachel stopped as her sight was suddenly obscured by a blindfold.  "Hey!" She exclaimed with a laugh. 

"What?" Megan questioned.

"Hang up." JC whispered in Rachel's other ear as he finished tying the bandana around her head then ran his hands down to rest on her upper arms.  She shivered at his breath on her neck as her nose immediately filled with a delicious aroma.

"Megs, I gotta go."  Rachel said as JC took the bags from her hands.

"Alright." Megan answered. 

"I'll call you later." Rachel told her.  "Bye."  She flipped her phone closed.  "What's going on, Jace?"  She asked as JC put his hands on her shoulders and spun her around. 

"You're early." He said as he took the cell phone from her hand.

"I'm sorry." She replied with a smile.  He said nothing but the fingers of one hand traced along her cheekbone.  Rachel's breath hitched and she leaned forward instinctively, her face lifting slightly in anticipation of his lips being against hers. 

But nothing happened. 

"Jace?" She questioned but he removed his hand from her and remained quiet.  She stretched one arm out, searching for him.  When she couldn't feel anything in front of her she began lifting the blindfold.

"Uh-uh." He said suddenly from behind her, startling her.  Rachel put her hand to her heart.

"Where'd you go?" She asked, listening as he moved around her.

"Setting up." He informed her and her interest piqued.  As he took one of her hands in his and led her forward he continued, "I'm not quite ready.  Sit here," he said, guiding her down onto the overstuffed chair in the great room.  "And don't peek." He warned as he took her hand and wrapped her fingers around the stem of what felt like a champagne flute. 

"What's this?" She asked looking up at where she assumed he was standing based on where his voice was coming from. 

"Take a sip." He replied.  "Do you promise not to peek?" He asked.

"I promise." Rachel said as she ran the forefinger of her other hand along the rim of the glass before pressing it to her lips.  The bubbles from the champagne tickled her nose as she let the alcohol swirl around her tongue.  Rachel sighed as she let her head fall back against the chair and listened to the sounds JC was making in the kitchen.  She heard him open a few cupboards and drawers then the sound of a pan being put in the sink.  Although she normally didn't like surprises--she hated knowing something was coming but not when or how-she found herself excited to see what exactly he had set up for tonight.

"You okay in there?" He called from the kitchen.  "You're being quiet."

"I'm fine." She answered.  "But I'd be better if you were in here with me." She added in a singsong voice.

"I'm almost done." He said with a chuckle. 

"I hope you have more champagne in there." She said taking another sip.

"Don't worry." He said, suddenly right beside her again and making her jump.

"Quit sneaking up on me!" Rachel exclaimed.  His fingers brushed hers as he took the glass from her.  "Um, I wasn't done with that." She said with a chuckle.

"Anymore and you're going to start getting tipsy and that's not exactly what I want." He said and she heard him set the glass down on the coffee table. 

"What do you want?" She asked.

"I want you to enjoy what I have planned and still remember it in the morning." He replied his voice moving until it seemed he was kneeling in front of the chair. 

"What are you...doing..." Her breath caught as the fingers of one of his hands wrapped around her right ankle-his hand holding her heel as he lifted her leg and slipped the brown heel from her foot.  His warm breath caressed her skin as he pressed his lips to the inside of her ankle.  Rachel's breath came in shallow gasps and she was suddenly thankful she'd decided to wear a dress today as he ran his fingers slowly up the inside of her leg--causing a rush of goose bumps--until his lips kissed the side of her knee.  Her hands tightened on the arms of the chair as he lowered her leg and picked up the other one.

"What do you have planned?" She somehow managed to choke out--though she felt suspiciously close to passing out as he trailed his lips up her left leg in similar fashion to the right. 

"Patience." He replied as he took her left hand and turned it over in his hands, pressing his lips first to her palm then to the pulse point at her wrist.  "All in good time."  Placing it in her lap he grabbed her right hand and gave it the same attention.

"Josh..." she breathed.  Rachel swallowed.  He was kissing her everywhere but where she really wanted.  Her lips were tingling in anticipation of having his against them.  Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest making her breath come quickly.  It was ridiculous really--they lived together for heaven's sake!  It wasn't like it had been a million years since they'd last been together, but he was a master at the game of seduction when he got it in his head to try and she was putty in his hands.  She felt his fingers as they worked to untie the blindfold and blinked up at him a few times--even though the house was significantly darker than when she'd come home a few minutes ago--when she could finally see again.  She sat, unable to move, as he leaned forward and, with his hands braced on the arms of the chair on either side of her, finally kissed her lips.  His mouth was warm and sweet against hers, and before she knew it he had taken her hands and pulled her up out of the chair and wrapped her in his arms, holding her against his chest-all without breaking the seal of their lips.

Rachel pulled back a moment later, not because she wanted to but because her lungs were burning for air.  She struggled to catch her breath, finally finding the strength to wrap her arms around his neck as his lips moved down hers.  Rachel tipped her head back--one of his hands came up to cradle the back of her head-as she granted him access to her throat.  JC groaned as Rachel sunk her fingers into his hair and he pulled his lips away from her skin reluctantly.

"We gotta stop." He said out of breath.

"No we don't." She shook her head and put pressure on the back of his head as she tried to pull him back to her.  He'd started a fire within her and she wasn't about to let him go so quickly.   

"Yes we do." He said, loosening his arms slightly from around her.  Rachel was glad he didn't completely release her--there was no way her legs could hold her up right now. 

"Why?" She asked disappointed. 

"Because." He said running his fingers through her hair and placing a quick kiss to her lips.  Rachel closed her eyes.  "I just spent," again he pressed his lips to hers, "the last three hours," this time his lips lingered a little longer against hers, "cooking and getting ready."  He sighed.  "If we don't stop all my preparations will be for nothing."

"I'll make it up to you." Rachel promised taking his bottom lip between hers.  She watched as he closed his eyes and groaned, his body trembling as he struggled to remain in control.

"No." He said, finally putting his hands on her upper arms and holding her out away from him.  "I've spent a lot of time planning tonight and this part doesn't come until later.  Be good." He requested.

Rachel sighed as she stepped from his arms.  "I'll try." She told him and he chuckled. 

"Come on." He said, taking her hand and tugging her forward as he began walking backwards towards the kitchen. 

Rachel gasped when she saw the white candles burning on the table, which had been romantically set for two.  She looked up at him, impressed, as he released her hand to pull her chair out for her.  As he helped scoot her in she looked at the food on their plates and smiled.  "You made crepes?" She asked.

"Oui." He replied with a smile as he sat down across the corner of the table from her.  "But not just any crepes." He continued.

"No?" She asked, taking the linen napkin folded up beside her plate and putting it on her lap.

"No." He said, reaching for the bottle of red wine he had uncorked.  She handed him her glass and watched as he filled it halfway.  "These are Chicken Broccoli Alfredo Crepes, with steamed vegetables."

Rachel looked at him in amazement as he filled his glass and unfolded his napkin.  "Well, Mr. Fancy Pants." She said, picking up her fork.  "Have you been watching The Food Network again?" She teased, using the utensil to cut a bite off of the crepe.  She speared the piece and put it in her mouth, moaning in pleasure.  "Oh wow!" She exclaimed.

"Good?" He asked with a smile.

"There are no words." She replied, taking another bite.

"Good." He chuckled and began eating as well.

"Seriously." Rachel said, pausing to take a sip of her wine.  "How in the world did you learn to cook so well?" She asked, picking up her knife and spreading butter on one of the rolls he had also found the time to make.

"Boredom?" He offered.  "I've had a lot of time on my hands the last couple years."

"Well, it was time well spent." She assured him.  "You could open a restaurant.  I'm serious." She stated when he shook his head.  "Between your amazing marinara sauce to these crepes?" She pointed her fork at the half eaten crepe on her plate.

"Don't forget my pancakes and chocolate cake."  He teased.

"That's what I mean." Rachel smiled.  "You'd have people lined up around the block."

"Maybe in another life." He answered.  "This is just something I like to do for fun.  Something I like to do for you."  Again she smiled then leaned across the corner of the table and kissed him.

"What else do you like?" She asked.

"Your eyes." He said, leaning towards her.  Rachel smiled as she put her elbow up on the table and rested her chin in her hand as she leaned towards him.

"Je pourrais obtenir perdu pour toujours dans vos yeux."

Rachel tried to control the shiver that ran down her spine as the he looked at her and told her he could get lost forever in her eyes.  "Okay, you are dangerous.  You cannot say things like that.  Not in French." She said leaning back in her chair and reaching for her glass of wine.  "Whew!" She said, fanning herself with her hand.

"Wait," he said.  Rachel paused with the glass pressed to her lips.  "I'm not done.  I've been practicing." He grinned wickedly at her.

Rachel raised one brow at him.  "You've been practicing?!" She said incredulously.

He nodded.

"Okay." She put the glass back on the table and looked at him expectantly.  "What else you got?"

"Vous etes belle.  Vous rendez ma vie completer."  You are beautiful.  You make my life complete.

Rachel sat, completely speechless, as she looked at him then leaned over the corner of the table.  She put a hand to the side of his face as she kissed him--her other hand coming to rest over his where it lay on the table as their mouths moved together in perfect synchronization.  He sighed when she pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against his-their breath mingling.  He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her as his tongue darted out and wet his lips. 

"And you say I'm dangerous?" One corner of his mouth turned up and Rachel smiled as she pressed her lips to his again softly.

"Do you want your present now?" Rachel asked. 

"Is it in those bags you were carrying when you came home?" JC asked lifting his hand to her face, his thumb moving back and forth across her cheekbone.

"Maybe." She answered with a coy smile. 

~~~~~

He smiled and leaned back, his hand dropping from her face as she scooted her chair back and stood.  JC watched as she walked over to where her bags had been left by the garage door, his eyes traveling over her retreating form and bringing a smile to his face.  It was sometimes hard for him to believe just how happy he was; yet there was something nagging at the back of his mind that things between them were just too good to be true.  As Rachel came back to the table, a smile lighting her face, he pushed his fears away and focused on the beautiful woman in front of him.

"Here you go." She said, handing him two packages--one significantly smaller than the other.  "Open the small one first." She said as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

He opened the top of the small white box and pulled out what was inside.  He looked at it for a moment-not quite sure what it was.

"Do you like it?" She asked expectantly.

"What..." he looked at the metal object laying the palm of his hand.  "What is it?" He asked at the risk of hurting her feelings.

"It's a key chain." She told him with an excited grin as she took it from him.

"It's a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together." He told her, holding it between his fingers.

"That's the point." She nodded.  "See?" She turned the key chain on its side and pointed out an inscription etched into the side of the biggest piece of hardware.  "‘I'm nuts about you.'" She read the words to him then giggled as she handed it back to him.  He laughed. 

"And you say I'm the cheesy one." He said with a shake of his head.

"I know." She replied with a huge grin.  "Open the other one." She said.  He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her.  "I just got the keychain because it was cute and I couldn't pass it up."  She told him.  "You don't have to do anything with it but this," she tapped her finger on the lid of the larger box.  "This is your real present."

He hesitantly lifted the lid of the second gift she'd given him then grinned when he saw what was inside.  "Now that's what I'm talking about." He said, hooking the piece of dark blue, lacey lingerie with one finger and lifting it out of the box.  "You even got it in my favorite color." He said his eyes sparkling playfully.

"I aim to please." She replied with a smile.

"Mmmm..." He hummed.  "We'll get to that later." He said with a smirk as he put the lingerie back in the box and leaned across the table to kiss her.

"Now it's my turn." He said putting her gifts to him on the chair next to him and sliding a small square wrapped in red towards her.

~~~~~

Rachel accepted the gift and turned it over in her hands, slipping one finger under the flap of red paper.  As she removed the wrapping, her heart skipped excitedly when she recognized what she was holding.

"You are holding the first official copy." He said and she looked up at him.  "I even autographed it for you." He grinned.

Rachel laughed as she turned back to the CD in her hands, her fingers tracing along his now familiar signature that lay across the front of it.  His long awaited sophomore album.  Rachel ran her fingers over his face pictured on the front.  "I love this picture." She said looking at him over her shoulder.

"It's one of the ones you picked."

She smiled at him as she opened the case and pulled out then flipped through the booklet, taking in all the pictures from the photo shoot last month that had made the cut.  She stopped on the last page as she began reading his liner notes.  Her eyes skimmed over the small type, as he talked about the issues and problems he'd encountered releasing this album and thanked all the producers, writers and musicians he'd worked with.  Rachel felt JC lean towards her as she continued reading his heartfelt words of thanks to God and his family for all they'd done, and smiled when he expressed gratitude to all his fans, "especially one of my biggest fans in Arizona (you know who you are)."

"Oh, she's going to die!" Rachel giggled as she pictured Megan's reaction when she read those words.

"I know." He chuckled as he took her hand and gave it a squeeze.  "Keep reading." He whispered.

Rachel did as he requested her heart beating wildly as she read the last paragraph:

And finally, a special thank you to the most important person in my life.  Without you, this CD would still be sitting on the shelf.  You've given me back my inspiration, and helped me see what my life was missing. You are incredible and I thank God everyday for placing you in my life.

Rachel swallowed and blinked rapidly trying to clear her vision.  She finished reading what he'd written, still not quite believing that this was real.

I love you, Sass.  You are my heart and soul, my passion and inspiration, and I pray to God you will always be by my side.  This one's for you...

"Josh, I..." She stopped, at a loss as to what to say.  She watched as he picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. "Thank you." She said, holding the booklet up against her chest as she placed the hand he'd just kissed against his cheek.  She ran her thumb over the slight scruff that covered his cheeks before she leaned towards him and kissed him deeply--trying to express everything she was feeling at the moment the only way she knew how.

"Hold that thought." He said quietly, pulling away from her.  Rachel watched as he stood and walked over to the entertainment center on the far wall of the great room.  He picked up her I-pod that she'd set down by the television after going for a run the other day and Rachel looked down at the booklet she still held as he set the small electronic device up on the dock and skipped to a specific track.  She smiled as the familiar sound of the Miles Davis song he'd put on her birthday play list filled the room and he walked back over to her.

"Dance with me." He said holding his hand out to her.  Slipping her fingers into his she allowed him to pull her up from her chair and into the other room. 

Walking backwards slowly, JC said nothing but the silent messages she was getting from his eyes made her heart begin beating rapidly and her stomach quiver in anticipation.  Coming to a stop in the center of the room he tucked the hand he still held against his chest between them while his other arm wound slowly around her waist, pulling her securely against him.  Closing her eyes Rachel rested her forehead against his jaw, breathing in his comforting scent and moving with him--his body leading hers in a slow, yet familiar, rhythm.

Placing her free arm around him she pressed her hand against his back and turned her head, resting it now against his shoulder as they continued to move together.  When the song ended she assumed their dancing would as well.  However, he kept moving and the music started again--obviously having been set on repeat.  She smiled and tightened her arm around him, seeking to be even closer to him.  He dipped his head, his lips brushing against the heated skin on her neck--so softly she wasn't sure he was even doing it.  She trembled as his lips slowly traveled upwards, lingering right below her ear.  Her knees felt weak and she struggled to breathe as he closed his lips over her earlobe-his teeth lightly grazing the sensitive skin.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"  Rachel teased quietly as a shiver skirted down her spine. 

"Why?  Is it working?" He asked as he stopped dancing and released her hand and waist.  Bringing both of his hands up he gently framed her face--his thumbs stroking her cheeks as he seemed to memorize her features with his eyes.  When they finally connected with hers again, her breath caught at the fire she saw there.  JC leaned forward slightly then hesitated and she bit her lip to keep from groaning.  Finally though, he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against hers.  She moaned as he kissed her deeply--the deliberate and passionate way his mouth moved against hers made her entire body tremble.  "Do you know what you do to me?" He asked quietly, his lips moving against hers as he spoke.  She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him, struggling to remember how to breathe. 

"Show me." She whispered as she wound her arms around his neck and, leaning up on her toes, kissed him back with all the energy and love she possessed.

~~~~~~

Rachel groaned and reached for her cell phone vibrating on the bedside table early Wednesday morning.  JC--fast asleep beside her--didn't stir as she attempted to grab her phone without disturbing him.  He lay on his stomach; one arm resting across her stomach while his face was buried between her neck and shoulder.  She squinted at the digits on the alarm clock--3:15--as she pressed the phone to her ear, hoping it was the call she'd been waiting for. 

Megan had called her as she had been driving home yesterday to inform her she had started having contractions and was headed to the hospital.  Rachel had been on pins and needles all evening waiting anxiously for the call telling her everything had gone well and the they were both okay.

"Hello?" She asked quietly, JC finally stirred beside her and let out a groan of protest as he rolled over on his side away from her.  Rachel sat up and leaned back against the headboard.

"It's a boy." Jackson said proudly over the phone and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.

"Everything's okay?" She asked.

"Everything's great." He said happily.  "He was born about an hour ago and Megan's resting right now."

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Rachel replied.   "What did you guys decide for the name?"

"Scott Ryan."

"And how big is he?" She asked.

"Eight, three." Jackson informed her.

"Wow, big guy." Rachel said. 

"Yeah." Jackson chuckled.

"Okay, you know I want pictures."

"I'll email some to you tomorrow...or actually, later today, I guess." He said.

"I'll be waiting. Thanks for calling Jackson." Rachel said.

"You're welcome.  I'll let you get back to sleep." He replied.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later." She said and ended the call, then snuggled back under the covers.

"Is Megan alright?" JC asked as he rolled back over and put his arms around her.

"Yep." Rachel smiled.  "Jackson's going to email me some pictures later today.  They're naming the baby Scott Ryan."

"Mmmm." He hummed already falling back asleep.

"Jace, do you think..." Rachel stopped and bit her lip, not sure if she should voice the thoughts that had been running through her head all evening.  As she'd been waiting to hear from Megan and Jackson she'd begun wondering something she never had before.  Rachel had never been one that, like Megan, had always wanted to be a mother but as she'd watched JC at dinner all she could think about was whether or not they'd have a baby one day.  Rachel closed her eyes and could almost picture a beautiful little baby with JC's blue eyes and adorable smile and a pang of longing filled her. 

"What?" He asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.  She knew he would freak out if she said anything about what she was thinking so she decided to say nothing.

"Nothing." She said, turning her head and kissing him softly.  "Go back to sleep."

"‘Kay." He mumbled and Rachel smiled.

"I love you." She said quietly, but he didn't respond--already lost to sleep once more--and she pushed her thoughts away.  She wasn't ready to have a baby, let alone JC Chasez's baby though a tingle shot through her at the thought.  She smiled and wondered what JC would do if she talked to him about having children.  She had to bite back a laugh as she fell asleep when she remembered his terrified expression when she'd told him she wanted his first born in exchange for singing on his album with him.

~~~~~~

Rachel stood in the bathroom looking down uncomprehendingly at what she held in her hand.  She couldn't think, couldn't speak and her heart felt as if it were beating out of her chest.  "Impossible." She whispered to herself.  "Ja-Jace!" She called out, turning and walking back into their bedroom.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking up from the chair in the corner and the book he was reading.  "What's wrong?" He asked at the look on her face.  He closed the book and set it on the table then stood and walked towards her.

Rachel's breath started coming in quick gasps.  "I can't...I-I...you...we're..."

"What's going on, Rach?" He asked, suddenly looking and sounding concerned at her stuttering.  Putting his hands on her arms as he slouched down a bit to look in her eyes   Rachel slowly lifted her right hand.

"I'm pregnant." She said, still not believing the results of the home pregnancy test she'd just taken.

"Pregnant?" JC repeated, his dark eyebrows shooting up in surprise.  "Are you sure?" He asked.  She nodded and showed him the test stick in her hand-the little blue lines clearly indicating that she was indeed pregnant.  A huge grin broke out across his face and he hugged her tightly as he laughed in her ear.  "This is great, Rach!" He exclaimed.

"No its not!" Rachel said, pushing away from him.  JC looked at her in confusion.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I can't be pregnant!" She said. 

"But you are." He replied, the grin coming back and his blue eyes sparkling.  "We're having a baby!" He exclaimed.

"No, I'm not ready."

Rachel sat up in bed, gasping for air.  Her eyes automatically turned, searching for JC--feeling the need to smack him for being so excited about something that put her into an absolute panic--but he wasn't there.  She looked at the clock beside her.  6:30.  She groaned as she laid back in bed and covered her face with her hands.  It was just a dream.  She thought taking and releasing a deep breath.  She lowered her hands and turned once more to look at JC's vacant pillow.  Where is he? She wondered, trying to remember what day it was.  She heard the shower going and remembered he had a couple radio spots to do this morning as well as a meeting with Marcus and the executives at TennMan.  With a sigh Rachel got out of bed and walked into the huge closet they shared.  As she stood staring unseeing at her clothes--the emotion from her dream still coursing through her--JC walked into the closet from the door connecting it to the bathroom.  She had begun to think she wanted a baby, what with Megan being pregnant and Scott's birth so fresh in her mind.  But when faced with the reality-or what she'd felt was reality--the truth had come out.  She was anything but ready and that truth was a bit unsettling to her at the moment.  How could she have such differing and conflicting emotions about the same thing?

"Good morning." JC greeted her, pulling her from her thoughts.  Rachel turned to look at him as he walked towards him.  The towel he had around him sat low on his hips and his dark hair still glistened with water.  He wrapped his arms around her as he pressed his lips to hers.  The warmth of his skin and the fresh from the shower scent of his body surrounded her but Rachel was still reeling from her dream for those things to affect her like they usually did.  She pulled back slightly and shrugged out of his arms.  "You alright?" He asked looking at her strangely as he ran a hand through his wet hair then put both hands on his hips.

"I'm fine." She assured him with a forced smile.  "I just don't have time for anything this morning, lover boy."  He chuckled as he followed her into the bathroom.

"Nothing?" He asked, standing behind her at the counter, watching as she began washing her face.  "Are you sure?" He asked, running his hands down her sides as he stepped forward pinning her between his body and the counter.

"Josh." Rachel warned, looking at his reflection in the mirror.  He grinned as he dropped a kiss to her shoulder then moved over next to her--swatting her rear before reaching for his toothbrush.

"Later then?" He asked with a wink.  Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled.

"You bring the whip cream and I'll bring the strawberries." She said pulling her tank top off as she walked towards the shower.  She heard him groan behind her and smiled to herself as she stepped beneath the spray of water.

"You're killing me, Sass."

March

JC walked into Rachel's office, wanting to surprise her with the exciting news the record company had just given him.  Aubrey smiled at him as he walked past the reception desk and headed down the hall-hands in his pockets-whistling cheerfully.  He slowed as he approached the conference room he'd seen Rachel in a few weeks ago with her boss, Rob.  JC felt his anger start to boil as he remembered the way Rob had put his hand on Rachel's back.  No one was supposed to touch her there, but him!  He had put a ring on her finger and by accepting it Rachel had accepted that he--JC--was the only man allowed to touch her now.

JC quickly did a double take and stopped cold in his tracks--the scene before him making his heart stop and his blood run cold.  Rachel and Rob were once more together in the conference room, only this time Rachel had her arms around Rob and the two of them were locked in a very passionate embrace as their lips moved furiously against each other.

No!  He thought, his hands fisting at his side and his breath coming quickly.  No.  Not again.

"No!" JC yelled out as he sat up in bed, his breath coming hard and fast.  He clutched at his chest as he glanced around the strange room he was in, disoriented.  Where the hell am I? He thought.  He closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart and churning emotions.  He had to calm down.  It was just a dream.  He repeated to himself.  It was just a dream.   But the image of Rachel in someone else's arms seemed to be burned in his memory and it made him sick to his stomach.  He took another deep breath and lay back on the pillow, scrubbing his hands over his face as his brain finally began to function again. 

New York. 

He was in New York.  His album was coming out next week and he was here doing some promotion.  He turned on his side and grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table.  Looking at the time he swore.  He was running late.  He was scheduled to be at the MTV studios today, shooting some segments for FNMTV and was going to be hard pressed to make it on time.  Throwing the covers off, he swung his legs over the side of the large bed he'd slept fitfully in the night before.  He shook his head and chuckled to himself as he ran his hand through his hair.  Two months and he'd already become accustomed to having Rachel in the bed next to him.  He'd once prided himself on being able to sleep anywhere--tour buses, random hotels around the world, make--up rooms, the hallway at whatever venue they happened to be at-but now it seemed he'd been spoiled.  It was getting harder and harder to sleep when she wasn't there with him.  He missed her pleasantly warm weight as she lay curled up next to him, the sound of her quietly breathing beside him, her sweet intoxicating scent that now permeated the sheets no matter how often they were washed and clung to her pillow...JC groaned as the alarm he'd set on his phone suddenly went off, the cell phone vibrating in his hand.  Before he stood and made his way to the bathroom however, he dialed his favorite and most frequently called number these days.

"Hey, this is Rachel."  Her familiar pre-recorded voice told him.  "Leave me a message and I'll get back to you."

JC looked at his phone in question.  She always answers.  He thought as he looked at the clock.  It was an unwritten rule between them.  No matter where they were or what they were doing, they answered each other's call--even if it was just to say they couldn't talk.  The only exception was when he was on camera doing an interview.  With the time difference between New York and California he knew she was up getting ready for work.  He tried again and again but just got her voicemail each time.  "Hey it's me." He finally said, leaving a message.  "I uh..." He paused and scratched his head.  "I miss you.  I wanted to talk to you this morning, but I guess you're busy.  Call me when you get this.  I love you."  He ended the call and tossed the phone onto the bed as he stripped his T-shirt off and moved into the bathroom.  It's just a coincidence.  He told himself, brushing off the unsettling feeling descending upon him as he stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash his worry down the drain.  It's just a coincidence.  Why didn't she answer?

He had no reason to think anything was going on, no reason at all.  So why did he?

~~~~~~

"Have a good night." Aubrey offered with her usual smile as Rachel walked towards the front door of the office Tuesday evening. 

"Thanks." Rachel smiled back as Aubrey's eyes went back to the computer screen in front of her.  "You too."  Rachel put her hand on the door then stopped when a thought passed through her head.  "Do you..." she turned back and looked at Aubrey.  "Do you have plans tonight?"

Aubrey looked at her in surprise.  "Not really.  Why?" The younger girl asked.

"JC is out of town right now." Rachel said walking up to the front desk.  "I was going to go get something to eat but it's not really fun eating by yourself.  Do you...do you want to come with me?  I'd love some company." Rachel smiled.

"Really?"  Aubrey asked, her eyebrows rising slightly.  "I mean.  Yeah, I'd love to." She smiled.

"Great." Rachel said.  "Let's go."

Aubrey turned to look at the clock on the wall.  "I can't lock up for another ten minutes." She replied.

"No problem." Rachel said.  "I've got a few things I can still do at my desk.  Come get me when you're ready to leave."

"Okay." Aubrey smiled excitedly and Rachel walked back to her desk.  Her phone began vibrating in her purse as she sat down and she pulled it out, smiling when she read the display. 

"Hey you." She said, leaning back in her chair.

"Hello, Beautiful." JC greeted her.  "You done with work?"

"I am." She smiled.  "You've got excellent timing.  I've missed talking to you today.  How did the show go?"

"Eh." He replied and Rachel could picture him shrugging.

"Ooh, that good, huh?" She teased.

"I'm getting to old for this, Rach." He said. 

"Don't let your fans hear you say that." She replied in mock shock and he chuckled.  "Besides, if Justin's not too old for it then neither are you."

"Is that so?" He asked in amusement.

"Yep." Rachel nodded.  "You should listen to me and trust me."

He laughed.  "Ah, I miss you, Sass." He said. 

"It's only been a day, Jace." She laughed.  "And you'll be home tomorrow."

"So?  I still miss you."

"How in the world did you ever survive before you met me?" She teased him as she rolled her eyes.

"I don't know." He replied honestly.

Rachel leaned forward and placed her elbows on her desk.  "Well if it's any consolation I miss you like crazy."

"Oh yeah?" He asked, sounding intrigued.

"Yeah."

"How crazy?"

"Ridiculously crazy." She replied, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.  "The house is too big and empty without you there--I don't know how you stood living all by yourself for so long.  Plus...I didn't sleep very well last night." She confessed.

"Neither did I."

"I kept trying to curl up next to you, but you weren't there." She told him.

"I kept having nightmares." He replied.

"About what?" Rachel asked curious.  JC wasn't normally one for bad dreams.

"You." He confessed.

"Me?" She asked, taken back.  "Am I that scary?" She teased.

"Sometimes." He replied.  Rachel gasped then laughed. 

"You better be careful.  I don't--"

"Rachel?"

Rachel turned in her chair at Aubrey's quietly voiced question.  Rachel smiled at her and held up a finger as she stood and grabbed her purse.  "I gotta go." She told JC.

"But I'm not done talking to you."

"Aubrey and I are going to dinner."

"Oh, okay."  He sounded a bit dejected.  "Hey," He said.  "Give me a call later if you can't sleep.  Chances are I won't be able to either.  Maybe we could...help each other out.  You know, find a way to...pass the time."

"You mean talking?" She asked, though she had a sneaking suspicion she knew what he was referring to. 

"Yeah..." he drawled.  "Talking.  That's...that's what I meant."

Rachel giggled as the words from the song he'd written years ago coming to mind.  Digital, digital get down...  "You are shameless." She replied. 

"Guilty as charged." He laughed.

"I gotta go."

"Are you gonna call me later?" He asked.

"I don't know." She replied.  "What's in it for me?  I mean, if all we're going to do is talk..."  Rachel shrugged even though he couldn't see her.  "We're not even on the same network, Jace." She bit back a giggle when JC groaned.

"Come on, Sass.  I promise I'll make it worth your while." He assured her and she felt a rush of goose bumps from the wicked grin she knew was on his face by the tone of his voice.

"You are so dirty." She laughed.  "Alright." She gave in with a sigh.  "I'll call you later."

"I love you." He replied with a chuckle.

"I love you too.  I'll talk to you later."

"Alright.  Have fun."

"Bye." She ended the call.  "Sorry about that." She said to Aubrey, as she put her phone in her purse and slung the bag over her arm.  "Ready?"

"Yeah." Aubrey replied as the two girls walked out towards the lobby. 

"Do you have a craving for anything in particular?" Rachel asked as they exited the building and walked out into the parking lot.

"Nope." Aubrey shook her head.  "I'm really not picky when it comes to food--obviously." She chuckled as she gestured to herself.

"Oh, stop." Rachel shook her head.  "You're gorgeous."  Aubrey was adorable--with her sparkling hazel eyes, short dark brown hair and ready smile.  She may not be the size negative four that was socially acceptable here in the land of movie stars, but she wasn't fat either.  She was pretty normal and, truth be told, Rachel was sometimes a little jealous of the girl.  Aubrey was several inches taller than Rachel and seemed to have the perfect curves that guys went for.  Rachel was sure whoever her significant other was he was more than happy with the way she looked.

"And you're a great liar." Aubrey responded with a smile and a sparkle in her eyes.

"It's a gift." Rachel replied with a shrug and a teasing smile making Aubrey laugh.  "Do you like sushi?" She asked as they approached her Jetta.

"I've never had it." Aubrey responded and Rachel pulled up short, looking at her in shock. 

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed.  "How can you have never had sushi?"

Aubrey shrugged her shoulders.  "I don't know.  I've just never really had a reason to try it." 

"Well, you've got a reason now.  Get in." Rachel said. 

"I can just follow you if you want." Aubrey said pointing to her blue Ford Escape parked a few spaces away. 

"Nah.  Get in." Rachel said.  "Your car'll be fine.  My favorite sushi place isn't that far away."

"Okay." Aubrey said as she got in a buckled her seat belt.

"Okay, seriously." Rachel said, putting the car into reverse.  "You've never had sushi?  You've never lived, till you've had it.  It's like the best thing ever!"

Aubrey chuckled.  "Sorry.  I'm from the country.  Not a whole lot of sushi in the sticks." She replied.

"Where are you from?" Rachel asked suddenly realizing that, although she and Aubrey got along at work and she felt as if she knew the girl the reality was Rachel knew absolutely nothing about her.

"All over." Aubrey replied, tucking her hair behind one ear.

"Like where?" Rachel asked, turning out of the parking lot and onto the main street their office was located on.

"Um..." Aubrey thought for a second.  "Well I was born in Hawaii and then we moved to Washington, then Colorado, North Carolina...um, Germany for three years...and then Virginia.  That's where I tell people I'm from because it's where I went to high school and my parent's still live there." 

"Well look at you, travel maniac."  Rachel looked at her in amazement. 

"Army brat." Aubrey admitted with a shrug.

"Ah." Rachel replied.

"What about you?" Aubrey asked.  "Are you a native?"

"Of Arizona." Rachel said with a smile.  "I grew up in the same house in Phoenix that I was born in and my dad and step-mom still live there."

"You're lucky." Aubrey sighed wistfully.  "What made you decide to come to California?"

"Well, after I graduated I was offered an internship with a company in New York and the one here at A&R."

"I'd have thought you'd have chosen New York." Aubrey said.

"Really? Why?" Rachel asked in curiosity.

"You're always so chic and fashionable.  You just seem like a New York kind of girl to me." Aubrey said.

"Really?" Rachel asked with a smile.  "Wow.  Thanks."

"You're welcome."  Aubrey offered.  "So, why did you choose California?"

"The weather." Rachel replied honestly.  "I don't do winter well." She confided in an exaggerated whisper.  "Plus, JC was here in California."

Aubrey looked at her in surprise.  "You knew him before moving here?"

"Mmmm...sort of." Rachel said pulling her bottom lip between her teeth then chuckling at Aubrey's confused look.  "It's a long story."

"I've got time." Aubrey said as Rachel pulled her car into a particular parking lot.  Rachel laughed. 

"Alright, come on." She said getting out of the car.  The girls walked into the restaurant and were shown to a corner table.  Aubrey left the ordering up to Rachel and as they waited for their food to arrive Rachel began telling Aubrey the complicated story of how she and JC had first met.

"Wait." Aubrey said after taking a sip of her coke and placing the cup back on the table.  "You guys made out at your best friend's wedding then he asked you to go home with him and you said no?!"  Rachel shrugged.  "So what happened?  I mean, obviously you guys stayed in contact, right?  You said he was part of the reason you moved back here."

"No." Rachel shook her head. 

"No, what?" Aubrey asked confused.

"No, we didn't stay in contact.  He didn't know I moved here."

"Then why..."

Rachel sighed.  "Okay, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  I'm ridiculous."  She stated pointing a finger at herself.  Aubrey laughed.  "No, I mean it." Rachel insisted.  "I moved here on the off-chance that I would somehow, one day run into him again.  But deep down I never thought I'd see him again.  I knew I'd blown my chance.  I mean, hell!  Who says no when a famous musician you've been lusting after for years asks you to go home with him?"  Rachel rolled her eyes and both of the girls laughed.

"You're lucky." Aubrey said and Rachel looked at the girl.  "You got a second chance with the man you love."

"Yeah I did." Rachel smiled.  "But enough about me." She added quickly.  "Tell me more about you."  She straightened as their waitress brought the sushi she'd ordered and grinned.  Picking up her chopsticks and grabbing a piece of the Vegas Roll Rachel continued.  "Tell me about your family."  She placed the sushi in her mouth and chewed, closing her eyes briefly as she savored one of her favorite guilty pleasures.

"Well," Aubrey answered.  Rachel opened her eyes and looked at the girl, trying not to laugh at her hesitant expression as she gingerly picked up a piece of the California Roll on the plate in front of her. 

"The trick is to not think about what you're eating." Rachel confided.  "Just put it in your mouth quickly."  Aubrey looked at her for a moment then bravely placed the piece of sushi in her mouth, chewing carefully. 

"So?" Rachel asked eager to know her reaction to this new experience.

"Not bad." Aubrey replied after swallowing.

"Try one of these." Rachel said, pushing the plate containing the New York Roll she'd ordered towards the girl. 

"I don't know..." Aubrey hesitated.

"Oh, come on." Rachel chuckled.  "It's not going to kill you.  Live a little." She smiled.

Aubrey picked up one of the pieces and put it in her mouth then bobbed her head back and forth as she chewed.  "Alright, those are pretty good.  Don't know that I'll ever love them like you obviously do...but it's alright."

Rachel smiled.  "Which of your parent's is in the military?"

"My Dad." Aubrey said, eating another piece of the California Roll.  "He served in the first Gulf War and now works at the Pentagon." She replied proudly.

"Doing what?" Rachel asked.

"Secret government projects." Aubrey said then chuckled.  "Actually I have no idea what he does there."

"Probably better that way." Rachel said and Aubrey laughed, nodding her head in agreement.  "But that's awesome.  Do you have any siblings?"

"One." Aubrey said, taking a sip of her coke.  "Michael's four years older than I am.  He's actually over in Afghanistan right now."

"Like father like son, huh?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Aubrey chuckled.  "It's been like that for generations.  To quote my dad, ‘we're a military family and we always will be.'  What about you?" She asked, turning the conversation back to Rachel.  "Do you have any siblings?"

"No." She replied quickly then paused.  "Well...sort of, I guess."

"Sort of?" Aubrey replied, an amused expression on her face.  "How can you ‘sort of' have siblings."

"They're step-siblings." Rachel said.  "My dad remarried about ten years ago and Sherry's kids are both several years older than I am.  We've never really spent anytime together so...I don't really count them as siblings.  Is that mean?" Rachel asked, with a grimace.

"No." Aubrey chuckled.  "It's not mean.  So did your mom remarry or do you only have step-siblings with your dad?"

"My mom died when I was seventeen." Rachel said.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Aubrey said, sympathy filling her eyes. 

"Thanks." Rachel smiled.

"Can I ask you something?" Aubrey asked.