Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

This is a joke.

You’re playing a cruel joke on me God!

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Sweat began to bead up on my forehead. My palms became coated with a thin slickness. I ran my fingers through my damp hair and took a breath. I was forgetting to breathe. Isn’t that something you subconsciously do? Well, I forgot.

This isn’t real.

Oh my God.

I heard a creak in the heater as it warmed up to begin to pump warm air into the contents of the room I was in. I jumped, about two feet. I was on the edge.

Joke. Sike! Just Kidding. Gotcha! Someone jump out at me now and tell me it’s a joke!

I’m dreaming. I closed my eyes. My face was scrunched up in a way a little kid closes their eyes when you say you have a surprise for them, and they can’t peek. Slowly I opened one eye. Nope, still there.

My eyes scanned the words.

Meet. The. Please. See. Don’t. Spot. Me. 7 o’clock. Can’t. I’ll. Say. You. Usual. Wait. Then.

They weren’t making sense.

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

My blood was beginning to boil. Literally, if you cut me open right here, it’d be boiling like a pot of hot water for pasta. Or like that new Electrolux stove, boils in 90 seconds! It’s more like 0-90 in 2 seconds flat.

Oh my God.

I was shaking. My hands couldn’t control the mouse to the computer properly. I clicked on the red X. Then opened the document entitled “Business Meeting 3/19.”

“Meet me please. 7 o’clock. The usual spot. Don’t say anything. Can’t wait. See you then.” My eyes scanned the words. I wish at this point in time right now that I lived in a third world country and couldn’t read or write. I wish that with all of my might. God has cursed me by making me literate!

I had just sat down at the computer after a quick rejuvenating shower. A fast e-mail check and I would be watching Chelsea Lately in bed giggling quietly as to not wake the sleeping body next to me that would have to get up at 6am. I just wanted to see if my dad sent me his weekly Wednesday night e-mail asking how my week has been and what my plans are for the upcoming week/weekend.

I didn’t know what to do. I pushed the chair away from the desk and stood up. My heart was pounding. I crossed the kitchen and stopped in the living room. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. I needed a distraction. I fumbled with the numbers, but finally punched in the right combination and Chelsea Lately had already started. I stiffly sat down on the couch. When my ears finally came to, and were able to comprehend the noise coming out of the TV, I almost bugged out hearing Chelsea having a hay day with the topic of Governor Spitzer and his prostitutes. It’s a sign, right?

Oh my God.

I hit the power button and laid myself down on the couch. Still as stiff as before. I pulled the blanket draping the back of the couch over my body and stared at the ceiling. The glow from that cursed e-mail illuminating it’s way through the kitchen into the living room.

I don’t know how long I laid there for until I actually closed my eyes. And then on top of just closing my eyes, how long it took me to fall asleep. My guess, was I probably fell asleep at around 4:30. My heart was going a mile a minute, trying to keep up with my mind.

I felt a soft sensation on my cheek, but it didn’t completely pull me out of my slumber.

I heard a click, but it didn’t pull me out of my slumber either.

I heard a loud ear shattering alarm, that definitely pulled me out of my slumber.

I flew up. Two beeps and the alarm stopped. The garage door opened, I heard a car back out, and the garage door closed. My eyes darted to the clock. 6:25am.

I fell back onto the couch.

It WAS a dream!

I jumped up again and rushed into the study, where I was on the computer the night before, in my dream of course.

The computer’s off!

It WAS a dream!

So why didn’t I just stop there?

Why did I turn the computer on, log onto his account, open his e-mail, because I know the password, and check his e-mail?

No, it’s not there.

I really was dreaming!

Thank God!

A huge sigh escaped from my mouth and I went into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. I sat on a stool at the counter and stirred in my sugar and milk. Yep, still had that racing mind.

Was I dreaming?

I’m just going to keep it at YES, I WAS dreaming, and that’s that. Ok, ok.

I still had a pit in my stomach. I took my coffee upstairs and began to get myself ready for the day. Hot shower, no, more like steaming shower. I lotioned my body, looking in the mirror, I made a mental note to go for an extra fifteen minutes on the treadmill today, I could use it. I slipped on a pair of grey dress slacks, and a white short sleeved button down shirt. Some cute jewelry, a curling iron here and there, spritz of perfume, slipped on a pair of black heels, and retrieved my blackberry and my purse.

I’m going to start using my blackberry to check my e-mail at home from now on. Mental note #2.

I grabbed a black sweater and made my descend downstairs.

“Hey there. How’s good ol’ training going?” I felt bombarded as soon as I opened the glass doors to this office building you’ll soon be familiar with.

“Oh you know. Train, train, train!” I replied.

“When are you two getting hitched darlin?”

“Let’s not get off track here, we don’t do personal weddings, we do other people’s weddings!” I said with a nervous smirk. Pit in stomach, check.

“I bet those kids are going to be all-stars.”

“Haha, you’re a funny one! I have a bunch of calls to get to. See ya around!” I replied, my eyes widening in shock as I turned from the man I was just talking to. I reached my office, dropped my things on the ground next to my desk, and plopped myself into my chair.

We’ve never been introduced, have we?

Well, this is my conscious. Kind of. And, it belongs to me, Sarah Johnson. Nice to meet you.

Background on me, Sarah Johnson, 26, wedding planner extraordinaire, sorry, I’m good at what I do thank you. I have a serious boyfriend, you’ve probably heard of him, New England Patriot’s wide receiver extraordinaire, Justin Timberlake? That’s what I thought. Ok, so we’re caught up, good. Please do, sit black, relax, enjoy the show.

What a show it will turn out to be….