Summary: "It's autumn in New York that brings the promise of new love. Autumn in New York is often mingled with pain." - Frank Sinatra (Autumn In New York) -- It may be true that you can't change a man, but once in a blue moon, you can change a woman. Anything is possible... in a New York minute.
Categories: Completed Het Stories Characters: Justin Timberlake
Awards: Season 3
Genres: Alternate Universe, Drama, Romance
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Word count: 37219 Read: 31050
Published: May 20, 2008 Updated: May 20, 2008
1. The One Where They Meet by Ashley
2. The One Where They Go To Lunch by Ashley
3. The One At The Game by Ashley
4. The One With the Sexetary by Ashley
5. The One At Dinner And The Park by Ashley
6. The One With the VapoRub by Ashley
7. The One On The Boat by Ashley
8. The One With The Wish by Ashley
9. The One At The Club by Ashley
10. The One With That Guy by Ashley
11. The One Where They… Well… Just Read by Ashley
12. The One With The Confession by Ashley
13. The Last One by Ashley
The One Where They Meet by Ashley
“Grande Caramel Macchiato with a shot of vanilla.”
“Will that be all, sir?”
“That’s all I asked for, isn’t it?”
“Right away, sir. Your total will be $4.40.”
“Fuckin’ highway robbery.”
The air was thick “ a nasty thick, filled with the odor of coffee beans and conversation. Starbucks isn’t my kind of place, but it’s raining fucking cats and dogs outside and I won’t make it to work without a pick-me-up, so I stopped at the Starbucks on Water Street by the South Street Seaport to get my fix.
I got my caramel motherfucker and turned around to a shitload of tables and no empty chairs. Just my goddamn luck. Life in New York ain’t easy, and this is one of those “Fuck it” moments. I grabbed a New York Times off the newsstand, and took the first available opportunity at a seat.
I sat down across from this little slice of chocolate who was playing around with her cell phone. Acting like I didn’t see her, I just opened my paper and glanced over the sports section.
“Yo,” I heard from behind the paper.
Let’s see, NBA pre-season. Eh, who cares? Football. Shit. Baseball!
There was another sound behind my reading material and a tap to follow it. “I said, ‘Hey.’”
I peered over my paper to look into the eyes of the woman across from me. I was met with dark brown skin, short black hair, and with what appeared to be a nice, sizeable rack under her pumpkin-colored sweater. Fuckable, definitely. I guess I could answer her. “Actually, you said, ‘Yo.’”
“Bad morning?” she asked. The way the ‘or’ in ‘morning’ came out told me she was a native of this God-forsaken city.
“Do I know you?”
“You can if you lighten up.”
“I’m busy.” I reverted back to my paper.
“What’s in that paper that’s so much more interesting than me?”
“Among other things, the Red Sox.”
“Say what?”
“Are you deaf or dumb? The Red Sox, baby. Beat the Yankees 5-2 last night. At home.”
“That explains a lot,” she mumbled.
“A lot about what?”
“Your attitude. You’re from Bahston, right?”
“What gave it away?” Dumb ass. “The accent, or the red and gray tie?”
“I’m to assume everyone wearing red and gray and likes the Sux is from Boston?”
“The what?”
“Are you deaf or dumb? Boston sucks.”
“And what do you think you know about baseball, woman?”
“I know the Sox suck, Yankees will kill your team in the rest of the series, and the only reason the Sux won last night is because Adams’s inconsistent pitching fucked it up for Soriano’s perfect game when he hit his leg in the 6th. Not only that, but Posada was out. Otherwise, your boys were done for. Don't fuck with me about the Yanks.” With that, she hopped up from her chair, rising to what I’d assume to be about a 5-foot-9 stance “ I always liked my hoes tall “ and she escaped the Starbucks heat, exchanging it for the cold New York rain.
Damn. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder where she was going, or whether I’d ever see her again. In fact, I’m a fool not to be following her, but the way I see it, hoes are a dime a dozen. Another one, probably bigger and better will pop up before the day is over.
Soon after, in solitude, I finished off my drink, my paper, and followed the lead of the broad. I hate the fuckin’ rain “ always have, always will. It ruins shit. Makes people act like shit. And as if New York doesn’t already smell like shit, it smells even more like shit in the rain. If I had half a brain, I’d take a cab down to the Financial District where my office is, but I have a whole brain, and this traffic would make me later than the walk.
Turning the corner of Water Street, I saw that bitch from my table, leaving CVS with a prescription bag, stuffing it into her big ass brown purse. Not only is she a bitch, but she’s on drugs, too. Figures. Subconsciously, or maybe deliberately, I quickened my pace to catch up to her.
She turned around, underneath her umbrella, flashing a blazing white set of teeth at me, contrasting with the dark brown of her leather jacket. “You just couldn’t stay away, huh?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing she was right. “I have better shit to do than follow you.”
“Then why are you?” She stopped in her tracks and waited for me to pass while I decided to do exactly the opposite. “Just as I thought,” she boasted.
“You’re in my way.” I winked when she stepped to the opposing side of the sidewalk. Not wanting and unwilling to keep going, I peered at her momentarily, letting the drop of the rain on our umbrellas speak for us. She had a weird gorgeousness about her. She wasn’t breathtaking, or even necessarily beautiful “ just a normal pretty, I guess. There was something in her charisma that made her shine, though. Her bright brown eyes that matched her smooth, chocolate skin “ they almost sparkled in spite of the dim, gray morning. They were inviting and warm; innocent and childlike. I would’ve stood there forever, merely gazing, if I were ever willing to let my guard down so quickly and easily. But I’m not. Instead, I sneered at her and resumed my walk to work.
“Good day to you, too,” she beamed.
On my trek to Wall Street, I continued peeking from my peripheral to view her Skittles umbrella. “Now who’s following who?” I asked, not turning.
“I’m going to work,” she answered in a ‘So there, motherfucker’ tone of voice.
“You actually have a job?” I retorted.
“Yeah, black people have jobs, too. Just like women watch baseball.”
I swear to God, I’m gonna backhand this chick. “No shit.”
Finally arriving at 101 Wall, I was relieved to be getting rid of the bitch. Ensuring not to say anything to her, I entered my office building and approached the receptionist desk where one of my many conquests, Lisa, sat at her computer.
Hearing the click of my shoes echoing through the hollow atmosphere of the high-ceilinged lobby, she looked up at me. “Good morning, Mr. Timberlake.” She hates me, but she always greets me with a smile.
“Any mail for me?”
“Just the usual Playboy and FHM magazines.”
“Cute.”
She plopped the respective publications atop the marble counter between us with a roll of her eyes.
“Good morning to you too, sweetheart.” Winking, I grabbed my mail and headed towards the elevators “ only to find my most favorite person of the day pushing furiously at the Up button. “Still following me, huh?”
She turned in the direction of my voice and gave me a look of disgusted shock. “What are you doing here?”
“Well let’s see, genius. I’ve got mail and an access card in my hand. Just maybe I work here.”
She sighed as the ding of the elevator’s arrival interrupted our exchange. Under her breath, she muttered, “No fucking way.”
You can say that shit again, sweetheart.
The One Where They Go To Lunch by Ashley
“Yo, could you press ten for me?” I walked into the elevator behind the Boston guy, trying not to admire the way his left bowleg led his right as he sauntered into the small, glass car.
“Press it yourself,” he quipped, fidgeting with his coat. Asshole.
I noticed that he was riding to the sixteenth floor “ The Getty Group. They’re this big stock firm in the building. He looks way too young to be a stockbroker. “You work for Getty?” I finally asked.
“Who’s askin’?”
“I just did.”
“Yeah.” I could tell that he was trying to think of the business that was located on my respective floor. “Burgess & Troy, right?”
I nodded, moving closer to the door as I heard the ding that signified our approach to the 10th Floor. “I’m not Burgess or Troy, though.”
“I think I knew that,” he stated, sarcastically. “What are you? A secretary?”
The doors opened and I winked back at him, beginning to dig into my purse for keys. “Actually, I am.” With that, I walked off, leaving him to follow me down the corridor with his gaze. I even switched the hips a little more than usual to give him a show. “Nice meeting you,” I called back, hearing the doors closing.
With a sigh, I opened the double glass doors to Burgess & Troy Law Firm and plopped down at my desk, situated at the front of the huge office. One of my co-workers, whose workstation is directly across from mine, noticed my despair.
“Good morning, Dawn,” she greeted me. She smiled, watching me look for a place to tuck my soaked umbrella amidst the chaos of my desk.
“Hey, Sharry,” I answered, not bothering to look up.
“Everything all right?”
“Yeah, girl. Just a long ass morning.”
“Home life?”
“On-the-way-to-work-asshole life,” I scoffed, shaking my head. “You’re lucky you live in the city. It’s always a bitch trying to get here from Brooklyn.”
“I don’t know why you don’t just move. If I can afford it, I know you can.”
“Girl, if it gets me any closer to assholes like the one I met this morning, I think I’ll pass.”
As I finished my sentence, my boss came thundering through the room in her usual nosy nature. “What asshole?”
“Good morning, Liz.” Sharry and I always seem to greet her in unison.
“Hey gals. Dawn, I need for you to send these faxes,” she added, handing me a stack of papers. “Sharry, I need the callbacks from the Perry case as soon as possible.” With a smile, she hopped on my desk, crossing her long vanilla legs under her red skirt suit. “But nobody move until after you two spill. Who’s the asshole and how cute is he? And don’t tell me he wasn’t cute because you wouldn’t be talking about him now if he wasn’t worth it.”
Sharry laughed, indicating that this was my story to tell. “It’s Dawn’s ass today.”
“Just some ignorant fool that I met at Starbucks today.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, turns out he works in this building.”
“Interesting.” Liz squinted her round gray eyes, seemingly trying to think of anyone that I could be referring to. “What’s his name?”
“Oh, shit, I don’t even know.”
“Figures. You never come in with the good details, Dawn!”
“Well sorry if the dude from the 16th floor isn’t high on my priority list.”
Both Liz and Sharry glanced at one another, acting like they had a secret that I was being left out of. “16th floor?” Sharry asked.
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “He said he works for The Getty Group. He looks a little young to be there, though.”
Liz chuckled knowingly. “By any chance does he have really short, curly brown hair? Clean-shaven, dressed impeccably? Thick Boston accent?”
“That would be the asshole,” I smirked. “You know him?”
She rolled her eyes to the ceiling exaggeratedly, laughing, and climbed off of my desk. “All too well, Dawn.”
“What’s so funny?” I smiled. “Is he gay?”
“Not at all, Dawn. Not at all.” She walked off, chuckling to herself, and into her office. “Get back to work!” she yelled playfully, just before her door closed.
“She slept with him,” Sharry whispered to me, across the space between us.
I dropped my mouth in slight shock. “Liz? Are you serious?” She nodded in confirmation. “He can’t be older than twenty-five!” I hissed. “And she’s”“
“Forty-five,” Sharry finished. “I know, girl. Apparently, he’s gotten every woman in the building wrapped around his little finger.”
“Fuck that. He’s got ‘em wrapped around his dick!”
“You said it.”
We shared another laugh as I sat with my mouth dropped for a few seconds longer before attempting another question. “So wait, what’s this kid’s name?”
Out of nowhere, Liz reappeared, answering my question. “Justin. Justin Timberlake. Now get back to work, for the last time.”
The hours between the big revelation of the day and my lunch break went by incredibly slowly, and I couldn’t quite focus on anything that was happening from the intrigue of this Timberland character. Or is it Timberlake? Whatever “ the Justin guy. There was something about him that I just couldn’t put my finger on, but hearing about him made me want to know more. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t just label him as ‘that son of a bitch from Starbucks’ anymore. Something tells me that he’s that, and maybe a little more.
Seeing Sharry returning from lunch, I replaced my leather boots onto my size sevens, pulled on my jacket, grabbed my umbrella and headed for the 16th floor.
I’d only been up there once before, and it was very brief. I didn’t like it at all. The atmosphere was too stuffy for me. It was just a bunch of uppity white men in business suits and toting briefcases. Why I’m here now, I don’t know, but maybe this Justin guy will make it worth my while.
Just as I pressed the door buzzer to obtain access into their office suite, my favorite Bostonian’s over-six-foot frame came bustling through the door with, who’d I assume to be, a co-worker of the same stature and an apparent Italian descent.
Justin looked at me briefly before rolling his eyes. “You just don’t quit, do you?”
“Aren’t you going to introduce me?” his friend interjected.
“What for?” he shot back, heading for the elevator. “Let’s go, Joe.”
I extended my hand to the friend, admiring his hazel eyes. “Justin’s not in a good mood today,” I said, amused by Justin’s shock of me knowing his name. “You can call me DJ.”
“Joseph Fatone,” he replied, shaking my hand lightly. “Justin’s never in a good mood, is he?”
“Apparently not. But I came up here to see if I could fix that, and perhaps steal your buddy away for lunch.” I eyed Justin as Joseph and I advanced for the spot where he stood.
“I already have plans with Joey,” he retorted.
“I could just as easily have some Chinese delivered,” Joseph jumped in.
“No, no, if Justin doesn’t want to eat with me, I’d never even think of forcing him into anything.”
“Good.”
Joseph “ err, Joey “ looked back and forth between us and reopened the door to their office. “Justin, I think I’m gonna have to pass, buddy. I’m not really down for the rain.”
“Just fucking great,” Justin said loudly. We watched Joey disappear back into the suite and stepped onto the elevator, riding to the first floor in silence.
“Well, I guess you’re on your own.”
“Fuck you.” He shrugged his khaki-colored raincoat over his black suit and began to unwrap his little red umbrella.
As the doors to the outside world reopened, I glanced at the man beside me, taking notice of just how delicate his rosy cheeks and blue eyes made him appear. It was such a contrast to his biting personality. “This is your last chance.”
“DJ, or whatever your name is, I wouldn’t go out with you if you paid me.”
“Damn, it’s just lunch, yo. I’m not askin’ you to marry me.”
“Well my answer is still ‘no.’”
Yeah, I guess there’s no helping this motherfucker. “Suit yourself.” Into the rain, I went, unaware and uncaring of what Justin Timberlake’s plans were.
Seconds later, I heard his annoying-ass voice behind me. “Hey!”
The raindrops blurring the distance between us, I didn’t bother to turn all the way around. “What?”
“Wait up!”
I waited for him to catch up to my spot on the middle of the sidewalk before commenting, “I’m not paying you.”
He scoffed and almost smiled before catching himself. “Then don’t expect good company.”
“I’d never ask of such a thing from you. I wouldn’t want you to strain yourself or anything.”
“Where are we going anyway?”
“Don’t tell me you’re tired of walking already.”
“No. All the good restaurants are in the fuckin’ opposite direction.”
I cut my eyes at him, wondering if he could really be that dense. “I’m not really down with the bougie-man routine. I’m just going to get me an old-fashioned sandwich from the deli around the corner.”
“Your attitude is really uncalled for.”
“My attitude!” It’s official. People from Boston are insane. “Shut up and get in the damn store,” I replied, pushing him into the small confines of one of the many delis off of Wall Street.
“Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” Sneering, he pulled down his umbrella, shaking the excess water onto innocent patrons.
“Yo, you really need to chill with that.”
“It’s just water.”
Sighing and exasperated, I ignored him and his obstinacy, and we ordered our respective sandwiches, planning to take them to the neighboring pizzeria to eat there.
They be tryin’ to bring you flowers
You prefer your roses blue
Others were tryin to get in your trousers
I was just tryin’ to get into you
I was just tryin’ to get with you, honest
“Can I ask you another question?” The two of us were sat comfortably in Giuseppe’s Pizzeria, chomping on turkey subs and attempting conversation.
He looked at me with boredom, dropping his sandwich to the wrapping underneath it. “What now?”
“Well if you don’t want me to ask it, just say the word.” Something tells me that this son of a bitch is actually enjoying my company. He wouldn’t be sitting here otherwise, would he?
“Just ask the fuckin’ question.”
“Well, okay, you’re twenty-four, right?”
“Right.”
“How in the hell did you come to work for Getty?”
He rolled his eyes slightly, but then gave me a hint of a chuckle. “My father actually got me the initial job. I’ve interned with them every summer since I was a freshman, so as soon as I graduated from Boston, I already had a job.”
“What did you major in?”
“I meant since I was a freshman in high school.”
Holy shit! He gives a new meaning to networking. “You’re kidding.”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“Okay, okay “ back to my question. What was your major?”
“My father made sure that I focused on business, just like him.”
“Is that not what you wanted to do?”
“Of course it was. I’ve never wanted anything more than to be like my dad. It’s been my life goal ever ““ He suddenly stopped talking and picked at the shredded lettuce in his sandwich.
I looked at him, baffled. “Ever…?”
“Why are we talking about this? We just came out to eat. Not talk.”
When you find the time, how can I get to know ya?
“What’s wrong with being curious?”
“Curiosity killed the cat.”
Damn, what was that that brought it back? “Justin, I’m not asking for your life story. I just want you to finish your sentence.”
“Just forget it, all right?”
Your name, number, game, tell me anything
I gotta get to know ya
“Okay. I’ll let you off the hook for now. But don’t think you’re gonna push me away with that fake little bitch routine you have going.”
“What makes you think it’s fake?”
“Because if you were really as much of a bitch as you want to relay, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me because you wouldn’t have given me a second glance after I left the coffee shop this morning.”
He took a long gulp of his fruit punch, his silvery blue eyes penetrating mine in the process, and nodded. “Why do you care?”
I know that you’ve never seen me
“Why ask ‘Why?’ Just finish what you started.”
“You’re a fuckin’ bitch. You know that?”
I know that I’m not your style
“You are too, but you don’t see me complaining, do you?”
He gives me a glimpse of an amazingly beautiful set of white teeth when he smiles slightly. “Funny.”
“Yeah, I knew you had a sense of humor somewhere in there.” Beaming, I added, “And a gorgeous smile, too.”
His grin immediately disappeared, but the twinkle in his eyes didn’t waver whatsoever. “Well, all I was gonna say is that I’ve admired my father ever since my mother left him when I was a kid.”
Well shit, I damn sure wasn’t expecting that. I looked down sorrowfully, regretting that I was so adamant. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Me and my dad had a better life than that bitch ever could’ve given us.”
I know that you don’t need me
My heart told me to take hold of his hand perched on top of the table, but my head told me to follow his direction and not touch him. After all, I don’t know him like that. Instead, I merely tried to comfort him with my gaze.
“Stop lookin’ at me like that,” he chided. “I’m not about to cry.”
But you do
“Justin, the harder you push me away, the more I’m gonna pull you back.”
“Why?”
You’ve got my dreams
“I don’t really know. Something about the way you light up a room with your terrible attitude.” I finished off the last bit of my sandwich, which had dwindled to bread, mayonnaise and lettuce, and licked my lips. “I’m gonna bring you out of that hard little shell if it kills me.”
I’ll be here, longing to know ya
Lyrics: “Gotta Get To Know Ya” “ Maxwell (Maxwell Now)
The One At The Game by Ashley
“So how long do you think it’ll be before you nail her?”
Me and Joe are standing two inches inside my end-of-the-hall office, discussing the chick I’ve been hangin’ out with from downstairs. Her name is DJ, but I usually just refer to her as my bitch.
I shook my head, looking down at my mug full of hot, black coffee. Heh, speaking of my bitch… “I don’t know, man. It’s still early.”
“After a week, you usually lose interest,” he laughed.
“That’s only if I don’t think she’s worth the wait.”
“Well I have something that just might move the process along.” He reached into the inside pocket of his navy suit jacket and handed me an envelope. “Here.”
I looked back at him with lack of amusement. “Joe, I’m not gonna pay her to fuck me.”
“Open it, you jackass.”
Inside the little white envelope, there were two tickets before me. I shot my eyes back to Joey, who was grinning wildly. “You’re fuckin’ kidding me.”
“I can’t go, so I hope you and DJ enjoy them. And get a little somethin’ afterwards too, eh?”
I laughed and handed him my coffee mug, headed straight for the elevators. Checking my watch, I saw that it was closing in on a quarter to 10:00, so DJ was sure to be planted at her desk by now. Gingerly, I entered the 10th floor office, disappointed to find DJ’s desk being occupied by some fat blonde woman that I’ve never seen before, and hope to never have to lay eyes on again.
“Excuse me, but did you eat the woman that usually sits here?”
She looked up from her game of Free Cell and removed a set of ear buds from her ears. “I’m sorry, can I help you?”
“Yeah, where’s DJ?”
She gave me a look of bewilderment and shrugged slowly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know who that is.”
Of course they replace the fine piece of chocolate with this big blob of stupidity. “The woman that usually sits here,” I sighed. “Where is she?”
If she was fired, I swear to God… “Oh, you mean Dawn? I believe she’s off today for some kind of appointment,” she answered. “Is there something that I can help you with?”
“If I thought so, I would’ve asked for it.” Who the fuck is Dawn, anyway?
“Well, sir, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be of service.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I mumbled, walking towards the exit.
“I think I have her cellular phone number here,” she called after me, consequently causing me to stop in my tracks. “Would you like it?”
“You’re sure it’s hers?”
“Yes, sir. Dawn James?”
Oh, so that’s what DJ stands for. “Well then hand it over.”
She scribbled a handful of numbers on a bright pink Post-It and shoved it across the desk for me to pick up. I grumbled another “Thanks,” on my way through the door.
I raced upstairs to my office to call ‘Dawn’ immediately, memorizing the numbers as I dialed them.
“Good morning?” I can tell that she’s the kind of broad that smiles when she answers the phone.
“Good morning to you, Dawn.”
“Who is this?”
“You don’t know? You mean my unbearable likeness to Will Hunting, as you so poetically put it the other day, doesn’t give it away?”
There was a shuffle in the background before she put it all together. “How the hell? Justin?”
“Don’t get too excited.”
“Don’t worry, baby. What do you want?”
“I’m just calling to find out why you’re not at work.”
“Why? You miss me or somethin’?”
“Heh, fuck no. I just think you should tell me if you’re not gonna show up so I can save the walk downstairs.”
“Well, just to calm your nerves, I’ll be in after lunch.”
“Don’t hustle in here on my account.”
“I’m not,” she scoffed. “I’m coming in for the benefit of my bank account.”
Yeah, you better. “Bye.”
Well, I guess I’m on my own for lunch today. It won’t be the first time “ just the first time since I’ve met her. Dawn, that is “ or DJ. Whatever I’m supposed to call her. I’ll just trek it to Giuseppe’s and bring a couple of slices of pepperoni back here.
Lunchtime passed and I ate in solitude. I didn’t mind. I’ve been doing it on and off for two years. It was just different from what I’ve gotten used to all week. As annoying as she is, DJ is good company on those rainy October days when I want is someone to hear me talk. She wasn’t lying when she told me she listened well. As it turns out, though, she’s not just an aggravating bitch.
Involuntarily hoping that DJ had made it to work by now, I headed for the staircase, not wanting to fuck with the idiot elevators in this fucking building. The twelve flights of steps between us would take less time than the damn elevator. Happily, I strutted into the office of Burgess & Troy, seeing DJ chomping away at a salad.
“Yo,” she smiled, with a mouth full of food.
“Yo,” I imitated, slapping a ticket onto her desk. “Meet me at 7:30 sharp.” I winked and headed straight back for where I came from.
+++++++++++++++
At 7:29PM, I sat in my seat at Yankee Stadium, watching the throngs of fans pile inside. The night was pleasantly warm for this time of year “ so much so that I was almost tempted to smile at the feel of the breeze against my cheek. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t dare set foot in this fucking stadium, but the tickets were free and I still get to see my boys play.
Just as I was about to consult my watch for the time once again, the top of a navy blue cap, covering a short, oval, brown face, came bobbing up to me. “Wow! Timberlands and a leather jacket “ I knew you could dress normal,” DJ exclaimed. She stood before me with her NY cap, peeling off her jacket to reveal a short-sleeved, dark blue shirt over a long-sleeved white one, and baggy black jeans.
“And you actually look halfway decent, yourself,” I retorted, rolling my eyes.
“Is that a complim”“
“You know, compared to the train wreck that you usually are.”
“You just can’t stand to be nice for more than half a second, can you?” she laughed, indulging in the enemy territory. “It’s all good. I know you love me.”
“Yeah, I love you as much as I love the Yankees.”
“That’s two shocking admissions in one sentence. You better watch out before you admit that you love New York, too.”
“Ha. Ha. Just sit down, all right?”
“Whatever you say, sir.”
+++
Silently amused, we cheered for the entering teams. I couldn’t quite root for the Sox as I wanted to, seeing how we were seated directly to the right of the fucking Yankees dugout. I may be stubborn, but I’m no idiot. New Yorkers don’t play about that shit.
I cheered to myself when Boston scored while the rest of the raucous crowd threw shit at them. I had to hold my tongue whenever New York would get a run so that I wouldn’t get stoned. In spite of it all, and as much as I hate to admit it, I had fun with DJ, chowing down on hot dogs and popcorn. She recognized my excitement for the Red Sox and playfully shunned it while I did the same to her. Everything was going practically perfectly.
Until the Sox lost. We sat through twelve innings. Johnny Damon had been playing amazingly all night “ Four runs and one home run. Myers had his pitching down to a tee. Not one walk. But that fucking Giambi had to step in and fuck it all up. The motherfucker has been out all fucking season, but tonight, of all nights, he chooses to come back. The bases were loaded when he hit a fly ball into left. We were done for after that.
“Yo,” DJ started, rising from her seat, “let’s go.” She’d begun to tap my shoulder, but I remained where I was, ignoring her before she hit me. “Get up!”
I shot my eyes up to her after looking at the spot that she’d struck. “Are you insane?”
“Are you? Get up before we’re stuck here all night trying to get out.”
I turned to see the piles of people attempting to exit the stadium. “What’s the difference if we get up now or in five minutes. There’s a fuckload of people up there.”
“Stop being lazy,” she laughed. “It’s too late for me to be sitting here.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll get you home.”
“What? You’re offering to be a gentleman and take me home?”
“Yeah, I’m not always a prick,” I chuckled back at her. “Besides, we’re riding the subway. Nothing extravagant.”
“If you’re willing to ride all the way to Brooklyn, then that’s extravagant enough for me.”
I looked at her like she was out of her goddamn mind. “Brooklyn?” I yelled.
“Yeah, where’d you think I lived?”
“No further than downtown! It’s 1:00 in the fucking morning. I’m not goin’ all the way to Brooklyn!”
“Well then that’s why you need to get up!”
Shit, if I’d known she lived in Brooklyn, I would’ve left an hour ago. Now, I won’t get home until fucking 4AM. “Come on,” I said, grabbing her arm and pushing our way through the crowds. I don’t have time for this shit.
“Yo, where are we going?”
“To fuckin’ Brooklyn.”
“Justin, you really don’t have to do this,” she screeched behind me. “I’m a big girl. I can get home alone.”
I better get some major fucking brownie points for this. “Just come on.”
Finally making it out of the chaos of the stadium, we stood in the station of the Bronx’s most famous subway, with what looks like about five hundred people, waiting for the next train. It didn’t seem to want to come. We stood for minutes, waiting on a 1, 2, 3, or even a 9. The only thing that seemed to find this station were trains going to fucking Queens.
“This is just perfect,” I yelled, waiting on other people to look in my direction in confusion.
“What’s your problem?” DJ shot at me.
“What do you think the fuckin’ problem is? It’s almost 2 o’clock and I’m standing here.”
“Justin, I told you that you didn’t have to do this. I can take a cab, and you can go on your way.”
“You think you’re gonna find a cab out there that’s going to your neck of the woods?”
“Well whatever,” she retorted. “I don’t need you with me. We were just “ we had a good time, and I don’t want the night to be ruined because of this.”
Heh, too late. I looked at her in sorrow, knowing that I was overreacting. I’m just pissed that we lost. “I apologize.”
“Don’t even sweat it,” she said, rubbing my arm.
I shrugged her hand off of me. “Don’t touch me, all right?”
Turning from me to watch the approach of the 3, she said, “This angry-at-the-world routine isn’t gonna shut me out forever, Justin.”
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“Just get on the train.”
We rode through New York in silence. We had to stand all the way through midtown, finally squeezing into seats adjacent to one another once we reached the 14th Street stop.
“Where are we getting off?” I asked.
“Nevins Street,” she replied tersely.
I don’t know why I asked. I don’t know shit about train stops in Brooklyn. “How many more stops do we have to go?” She glared at me with deep brown eyes and shuffled through her jacket pocket, handing me two one-dollar bills. “What is this for?”
“Your fare to get home.” Without a second glance, she rested back into her seat and closed her eyes. “We have five more stops.”
More silence enveloped us while we made our way through Brooklyn, unwilling to speak to each other, but unsure exactly why. Exiting the train station, I memorized our path through the quiet, empty streets. Damn, Brooklyn sure as hell is a lot quieter than Manhattan at 2AM. She walked ahead of me, briskly, her navy blue Timberlands making a quiet thump against the concrete. She switched her hips as if she were mad about something, but keeping it to herself in order to avoid drama.
“If there’s something on your mind, why don’t you just say it?” I called after her.
“Justin, I have nothing to say to you, okay?”
“Then why are you acting like you do?”
“If I had something to say, then I’d say it.”
“You’re full of shit, you know that?” I chided.
She finally stopped and turned around to look at me. She kept walking, but slowed her pace in order to walk backwards. “Because?”
“Because you’re afraid to talk to me, but you act like you’re so keen on getting me to open up.”
“Yeah, and you’re so stuck on being an arrogant, stuffy asshole that you can’t recognize when you’ve had a good time and leave it at that. You always have to ruin shit with your attitude.”
“See? I knew you had something to say.”
“Go home, Justin. I’m right around the corner from my apartment, so your obligatory company ends here.”
“Now who’s pushing who away?”
“Don’t you get it? I’m sick of you! I thought you were someone that I wanted to get to know, but as it turns out, I knew you for the jerk that you are when I first laid eyes on you.”
I watched as she continued to walk, hardly paying attention to where she was going. “DJ, you need to, uh”“
“There you go again. Always telling other people what they need. You need to “ Ow!” She can’t say I didn’t try to warn her. In the wake of her sentence, she went walking right into a street pole.
Before she could stumble off of the sidewalk and yell at me some more, I grabbed her and made a dive for her lips. I don’t know what compelled me to do it, but I figured it couldn’t hurt too much. At the very least, it shut her up for a minute.
When it was done, she lifted her slim, curvy eyebrow at me, licking her lips. “What was that about?”
I backed off and looked at the car parked behind our exchange. “Yeah, I know right.”
She sighed and turned to the cross street that was also situated behind us. “Justin, I”“
“Don’t say anything stupid,” I interrupted, jokingly.
“I uh, have to go.”
She tried to dart off, but I grabbed her hand before she could. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, fine. It’s just really late and I have to get up in the morning.”
“I do, too.”
“Yeah, so you should go, too.”
“I could go… with you.”
“Or you could go… home,” she said, relieving her hand of my grasp. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Justin.”
I watched her rush off, into the darkness of Smith Street, not fully grasping the fact that she’d just shot me down. It’s a rare occurrence for me, but sometimes, it makes me just that more interested. “Yeah, see you tomorrow, Dawn.”
The One With the Sexetary by Ashley
“Damn. Rough night?” Sharry was never one to hold her tongue, I guess.
Then again, I do look like shit run over a couple of times. “It most certainly was,” I replied, stumbling to my desk.
“Well what happened? You look terrible.”
I looked at her sarcastically. I mean, does she not realize that I did look in the mirror before I left home “ as if that wasn’t bad enough for my self-esteem. “I just didn’t get much sleep.”
“Trouble at home?”
I threw my hands across my short hair in frustration. “I went to the game last night with Justin.”
“Justin? From the 16th floor?” she exclaimed.
Damn, girl. Calm down. “Yeah, that motherfucker.”
“Dawn! You have to spill. Now!”
“Spill what? We met at the game, watched it, the Sux lost, and then we came home.”
“Together?”
“No, Sharry. I went home to my apartment and he went home to his apartment.” I paused, pinching the bridge of my nose, and finally reconsidering. “Actually, I don’t know where he went, and I damn sure don’t give a shit.”
“Dawn. Am I sensing some sexual tension?”
This girl. “Is it always about sex with you?”
She laughed, watching the phone ring in front of her. “No, actually, it’s all about sex with him,” she winked.
“Answer the phone, whore,” I laughed back, glad that that conversation was over. I shuffled papers back and forth across my desk, trying to appear busy when Justin, decked out in a charcoal gray suit, his usual arrangement of a red and gray tie, and glasses perched on his nose, swaggered into the office with a box full of paper. If his presence didn’t annoy me so much, I’d say Damn, ‘cause that bastard looks good today.
“Yo, Dawn,” he addressed me, over-imitating my New York accent.
“Good morning, Mr. Timberlake.”
“What’s with the formality? I’m still Justin.”
“Well then I’m still DJ,” I shot back.
“Fair enough.” He let the box fall to my desk and began to place its contents on the empty, and even not-so-empty spaces of its surface. “I have some work for you.”
I gave him a definitive scoff of dismissal. “I don’t work for you.”
“Yes, that’s very true,” he calmly agreed, sitting on my desk and pulling off his frameless specs to stare at me as intensely as possible. “But I spoke with your boss and she informed me that I could use you at will, seeing how my secretary is out sick today.”
“Use me, huh? You’re not done with me yet?”
“Oh, I’m just getting started, sweetheart.”
“Well then staht, so that you can finish, sweethaht,” I retorted, mocking his own annoying accent.
“Make fun of me all you want. Just do the work.”
“Your wish is my command.”
As Sharry hung up the phone, she smiled at the sight of Justin. “I think I like the sound of that, Dawn.” God, could she be beaming any more? “Hi, Justin.”
“Good morning, Sheila.”
“It’s Sharry,” I hissed at him, pinching his backside, which was sitting directly in plain view.
“Whatever,” he mumbled, rising from my desk. He gave his attention back to Sharry, sauntering to her work area coolly. “How are you today?”
“I’m absolutely awesome,” she replied, tossing her long brown hair. “Although, I heard about the Sox losing last night. I was so damn upset.” That bitch didn’t even know until I told her!
“You a Boston fan?” Justin asked, replacing his glasses on his face.
“Oh yeah, man. We don’t have any teams back home in Tennessee, so the Sox are all I have.”
He sat on her desk, facing her and nodding. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. So did you at least have a good time at the game?”
“Not really. I was actually pretty bored,” he said, making sure that his words were emphasized for my benefit.
“You know that’s because you didn’t invite me.”
“You’re probably right. Anyone would’ve been better company than Dawn.”
“Seriously,” she agreed. Oh, that bitch is goin’ on my list if she doesn’t quit.
“Justin, don’t you have some work you need to be doing?” I interrupted.
Without even turning his head in my direction, he casually said, “Nope.” With that, he moved in closer to Sharry, being sure to make me wonder what the hell he was doing. “You have the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen,” he told her. Ugh.
“Well thank you,” she giggled. “I’ve always admired yours from afar.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” she nodded animatedly. “I’ve always loved blue eyes “ the color of the ocean and the sky. Although, yours are a much deeper, darker tint “ a mysterious blue.”
What the fuck? She stole those words, verbatim, from what I told her last week! “Justin, I think you need to go. You’re distracting Sharry.” And making her lose her damn mind.
“I think that if Sharry wants me to go, then Sharry would ask me to go,” he quipped. “Sharry, do you want me to go?”
“Not at all. You can stay up here as long as you want, Justin.”
Now how did I know she’d say some shit like that. “Well you’re distracting me,” I shot back. “And I do have all this work to do, thanks to you.”
“Dawn, you are so rude. I’m sitting here having a conversation with this beautiful woman, and all you can think about is yourself. How about if you stay over there and leave our business to us.”
“Justin, you are not fooling anybody.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Nothing. Just do your thing.”
He took heed and gave all his attention to Sharry, the damn Sexetary. “So Sharry, what are you doing for lunch today?”
“With any luck, you.”
“Today just might be your lucky day,” he chuckled, standing up to walk behind her. His hands crept over her shoulders, removing her suit jacket to reveal a low-cut, black wraparound shirt. He consequently began to rub her shoulders, whispering into her ear. Damn it, I wish I could hear what he was saying. She giggled, rolling her neck into the direction of his face, while his fingers lingered on her bare skin.
“Excuse me,” I interjected, “but this is an office. You two need to save the sex for the bathroom or wait ‘til everyone is gone like normal people.”
Ignoring me, Justin’s eyes scanned the plunged neckline of Sharry’s shirt, smiling at the sight. She famously has a rose tattooed on her left breast, and today, it’s visible. “That’s a wicked gorgeous flower you have there,” he commented.
“Thank you,” she moaned at his touch.
“Would you mind if I took a whiff?”
“I’d mind if you didn’t.” I watched her smile to herself while his nose took a dive for her cleavage and I immediately became sick to my stomach. I don’t know why. It’s not as though I like him like that. We’re just friends “ if you could even call it that. But damn that bastard for looking so good today.
I thanked God when Sharry’s phone rang, startling the three of us, and causing Justin to back off of the little whore. “I’ll see you at lunch,” he said softly to her as she picked up the receiver, beaming. Walking over to me, he grinned rather maliciously. “Have that work on my desk as soon as possible.”
I narrowed my eyes at him before rolling them. “Like I said, I don’t work for you.”
“You work for anybody. You are, you know, just a secretary. Dawn.” With those last burning words, he was gone as quickly as he’d come.
A slight chill ran down my spine when he uttered those three words “ just a secretary. It’s not like it was uncharacteristic of him. In fact, it’s a typical Justin Timberlake statement. I guess it stung so much because I was hoping that he saw more than that in me. If nothing else, I figured he thought of me as more than just a secretary. The more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off.
Without another second passing, I rose from my desk and stormed out of the office angrily. My frustration gave me the energy to ignore the elevators and run upstairs to the infamous 16th floor. If that motherfucker thinks he can talk to me like that and get away with it, I swear I’m gonna kill him and then beat him with my… “Where’s Justin!” I yelled, bustling into the Getty office suite.
The receptionist, who Justin claimed was out sick, pointed me towards a hallway to her left. “He’s in his office, ma’am.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, cautiously moving down the short corridor. At the end of it, stood a tall, gray door with his long, stupid name plastered across it. Banging on the door before throwing it open, I walked in to find him sitting at his desk with Joseph directly across from him. “Get out, Joey.”
“Dawn, we’re talking here,” Justin directed to me.
“Dawn?” Joey asked.
“Yes. Dawn James “ DJ. Now get the fuck out.”
“Stay,” Justin countered.
Joey looked back and forth between us as if he were pondering who to listen to. “Uhh…”
“Get out!” I yelled. I watched in satisfaction as he scurried out of the door like a little bitch. I then glared at Justin, desperately wanting to knock those fucking glasses off of his gorgeous little face. Instead, I asked, “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Problem?”
“Yeah, where do you get off talkin’ to me like that?”
“Like what, Dawn? I was sitting here minding my own goddamn business before you came in here acting like you run shit “ my shit to be exact.”
“’Your shit’ is right. Who the hell do you think you are?”
“The better question is ‘who do you think you are.’ This is isn’t a playground, Dawn. This is an office, and this isn’t how we conduct ourselves in an office.”
“Oh, and feeling up the secretary upstairs is?”
“I haven’t interrupted anyone’s day.”
“Yeah, except mine.”
“Tough.”
I rolled my eyes, plopping into the seat in front of his desk and leaning forward to peer at him. “Are you still pissed about the game, or what?”
“No, Dawn. I’m not that immature.”
Oh, I beg to fuckin’ differ. “Is it about what happened after the game?” No answer. “Justin, I didn’t turn you down last night because of you.”
“Oh, spare me the “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. Just get out, all right?”
Well actually, it’s not me, either. “That’s not what I was gonna say. But since you want it to be this way, fine.” I rose from my chair boastfully and strutted towards the threshold of his office.
“Fine, what?”
“You like me, don’t you?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“No.”
“Justin.”
“Maybe.”
I thought so. “Right. Meet me at the entrance to the 23rd Street station “ Nine o’clock tonight.”
“What for?”
“We’re going to dinner. And don’t be late, because I’m not waiting for you.” I didn’t bother to wait on his response because if it wasn’t some smart-ass comment, it would be an irrelevant one, so I left his office, closing the door and leaving him to his business.
And that’s how it’s done.
The One At Dinner And The Park by Ashley
“Well, well, well,” said a voice behind me.
I had been pacing back and forth across the cross section of 23rd Street and 8th Avenue, in front of GAP, wondering if DJ was trying to set me up to be stood up. It’s something I would do, so I figured anyone was capable of it. Fortunately, everyone isn’t as much of a bastard as I am, and I turned to find her walking up to me, donning a silky black camisole and blue jeans under one of her infamous black leather jackets. “You’re early,” I smirked after glancing at the clock on Chase Bank behind her. “You had another 4 seconds.”
“One thing I learned in college is that ‘To be early is to be on time,’” she smiled. “Look at you getting all dressed up for me.”
I suppose I should take that as sarcasm. I wasn’t dressed up at all “ just jeans, a red and gray shirt and a dark gray jacket. “Likewise,” I winked. “So where are we headed?”
“Well, I thought I’d let you pick, just to see what you’d come up with.”
“Typical. Ask me out and then make me do all the work. I bet you’re even gonna make me pay, aren’t you?”
“No, you cheap little bitch,” she laughed, heading into the direction of the Chelsea Hotel. “There’s just about a million restaurants over here that I’m sure are your speed, and the last thing I need is for you to be actin’ all crazy if we go somewhere that you don’t like. This way, if you don’t like it, you can only blame yourself.”
Smart. “Well I’ll still find some way to blame you for it.”
“Oh, I know you’d try,” she grinned, pointing to the numerous options at our disposal. “Pick a place “ anyplace.”
“Come on, don’t make me do all the work.”
“Just pick the first thing that catches your eye.”
I scanned the calm streets, not really seeing anything that seemed especially intriguing. The only place I recognized was BBQ’s, and that wasn’t really a date-type-thing atmosphere. “How about there?” I asked, pointing to a quaint little joint on the corner of 23rd and 7th Avenue.
She looked back and forth between me and the restaurant, seemingly titled Taboo. “There?”
“Yeah. Or is that not cool enough for you?”
“No, that’s perfect,” she replied.
She casually walked inside, not bothering to wait for me to join her. I think that’s one thing I like about her. She’s on her own agenda and she doesn’t wait for anyone else to follow it. Wait, did I just say I liked her? Following her lead and waiting at the host stand with her, I decided that I don’t. But I do.
“What kind of food do you think they serve here?” she asked casually.
“Probably the average American grill shit,” I absently answered, scanning the big chalkboard menu in front of us. “Good Lord, this place is pricey.”
“Well then you better eat light, ‘cause I’m not paying for your shit if it’s over fifty bucks.”
I bet this is a cruel joke. I just bet she’s only gonna pay for her half of the meal and then try to leave me here washing fuckin’ dishes. “I got you,” I smirked. “Now if only we could get some fuckin’ seats,” I added loudly. Satisfaction came over me when a few stares were directed at us.
“I’m sorry, sir,” a hot little blonde dressed in black interrupted. “We can seat you now.”
“Thank you,” DJ injected politely.
“Smoking or non-smoking?”
“Whatever is less crowded,” I answered. “I came to eat dinner with her “ not a bunch of strangers.”
“Yes sir,” the blonde said timidly. “Right this way.”
She led us through a bevy of occupied tables before we were seated towards the back of the restaurant where the bustle of the kitchen was sure to interrupt whatever conversation we might choose to have. “Oh, this is just perfect,” I said sarcastically.
“We’re just gonna eat,” DJ smiled. “We’re not living here.”
Fuck, she’s right again. “Eh,” I mumbled, kicking her chair out for her, just before taking my own seat. We scanned the menu for what seemed like hours before finally ordering anything that made sense. She chose crab cakes and I ordered the seafood chowder. “This is why you pick a place when you ask someone out.”
“Quit complaining. It’s not like this is a formal date. If you don’t like it, we’ll go.”
“Well I’ll be damned,” I chuckled.
“Your attitude certainly has changed from this morning,” she commented.
“Well so has yours.”
“No, not really. I’m always cool.”
“That wasn’t the case last night.”
“Yeah, well when you pull your Jekyll and Hyde act, then I have permission to do the same.”
“What are you talking”“
“And what was up with you last night, anyway?” she interrupted. “Using that tired ass ‘Hey baby, why don’t I go home with you?’ she scoffed after trying to imitate me “ emphasis on try.
“Very funny. What about you and your crazy ass outburst in the middle of the goddamn street? You were on the verge of waking up every motherfucker in Brooklyn!”
“You really ought to make it out to Brooklyn more often. We’re not as tame as we look.”
“Well you were still too damn loud.”
“Like you always are?” she laughed, slightly kicking at my shoe.
“Hey, keep those big ass feet off of me.”
“Oh, sorry. I know that qualifies as touching you,” she replied, kicking me again. “And my feet are not big, motherfucker.”
“They’re too big to be kicking me, Dawn. Grow up.”
“My name is DJ,” she whined, sticking out her tongue at me.
“Do you ever act like the 30-year-old that you are?” She tried to kick me again, but I knew it was coming so I moved my foot to allow her to kick the table.
“You little bitch! I’m twenty-eight. Don’t be tryin’ to make me old.”
“If the shoe fits…”
“You’re such an ass,” she giggled
“And yet, you’re still here.”
“Well I guess I just have an affinity for assholes that treat me like shit,” she said, playfully rolling her eyes “ at least, I think it was playful.
“Damn, I’m not the first?”
“Oh, I have a long, storied history with your kind.”
“Is that so?”
“That is so.” Her eyes darted around the small, dimly lit, but crowded restaurant. “But that’s not important. Anyway”“
“Anyway, what?”
“Anyway, I gotta “ uh “ man, I gotta pee,” she said, rushing out of her seat.
“Well find some class while you’re in there,” I called back to her. Damn, it’s called using the restroom. While she took her precious time to relieve herself, our respective orders finally arrived, bearing portions similar to that of a child’s meal. “What is this?” I asked before the waiter could escape.
“Did you not order the chowder?” he asked.
“Yeah, but I believe the menu price for it was $22.95, so you’re missing about half a bowl.”
“Well I’m sorry sir, but this is the standard portion.”
“Yeah, you are sorry,” I told him.
At that point, DJ came back to the table in her usual manner of wanting to fix everything. “What’s your problem, Justin?”
“The problem is that I ordered twenty-five bucks worth of seafood chowder and they gave me about twelve.”
“It’s okay, I’ll handle it,” she said to the big lanky waiter. Sitting back in her seat, she glared at me. “Why do you make everything so difficult?”
“Look at this!” I said, pointing to the bowl. “I’m not paying to get half a bowl of soup!”
“Justin, you’re not paying at all! So calm the fuck down.”
“It’s the principle of it all.”
“Yo, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
“In terms of what?”
“In terms of anything.”
“I dunno.”
An evil grin spread across her little round face and her eyes cut between her left and right. “Are you up for a little bit of fun?”
“I don’t think so,” I answered nervously. What is she up to?
“Come on.”
“What are you thinking, Dawn?”
“Well you don’t like your food, and to be totally honest, I’m not too much feeling this place”“
“And?”
“And so, let’s bounce.”
“Okay,” I said, raising my hand to signal the waiter.
“No,” she hissed, slapping my hand back to the table. “Let’s bounce. And that’s it.”
“DJ, we have to pay for our food.”
“No we don’t. We didn’t eat it.”
“That’s illegal.”
“Oh come on, man. You’d rather sit here all night and yell at the staff? Be spontaneous! Let’s just go.”
I looked around at all the other seemingly satisfied customers, minding their legal business. “DJ, this is insane.”
“Well, we can stay if you want “ I’ll pay for it, but I’m not taking you to McDonald’s afterwards if you don’t eat now.”
“Are you gonna eat?”
“Justin, you’re making this too difficult. I’m gonna go to the bathroom again, and then I want you to walk out and wait for me at the Starbucks on the corner.”
“You’re trying to get me arrested, aren’t you?”
“Stop being stupid. When I go to the bathroom, I want you to leave, all right?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
She winked before rising from her seat and heading briskly to the restroom. I did as instructed and moved towards the door, trying my best to remain incognito. Casually, I walked down the narrow sidewalk, headed for the place that started this all “ Starbucks, of course. It was a different location, but they all had the same galvanizing effect. Oddly enough, I don’t even think it’s the caffeine that does it. The place just has that hustle-and-bustle atmosphere.
And speaking of hustling, after absentmindedly hearing the approach of heels pounding the sidewalk, I found myself being whisked from the entrance to the coffee shop, and instead, thrown into the chaos of a crosswalk.
Just when I thought I’d been picked up by the police, Dawn’s tall, slim frame appeared at my side. “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked, almost jogging to keep up with her frantic pace.
“I’m getting us out of sight,” she replied, jaw clenched. “Damn, why don’t you just walk slower?”
More sarcasm. “May I ask why we’re running across the street?”
“Didn’t you hear me the first time? Or do you wanna get caught?”
“Well sorry, but I’ve never committed a fucking crime before. Forgive me if I’m not aware of how all this shit is supposed to operate.”
“Stick with me and I’ll have you a bona fide criminal in no time,” she laughed, finally slowing down. “Man, my feet are killin’ me.”
“Heh, that’s what you get for tryin’ to be cute.”
“Fuck you. I don’t have to try.”
“Yeah, you’re right. There’s no use for you, sweetheart.”
“Yo, you’re breakin’ my haht, here,” she mocked me, smiling wildly. “So it’s,” she paused to check my watch, “9:44, and we still haven’t eaten. What do you wanna do?”
Something tells me that this is another one of those nights that I won’t be getting home until 3AM. “We could try another restaurant “ maybe uptown.”
“Eh.”
“Eh?” I asked. “Well what does Queen Dawn want?”
“I’m not sure,” she said, exaggeratedly rubbing at her stomach. “But at this point, I’m about ready to go for that Mickey Dees deal.”
“Some date you turned out to be.”
“I’ve got it!
“Got what?”
“When’s the last time you were in Harlem?”
Harlem? Are white people even allowed on 125th Street? Last time I checked, my name wasn’t Bill Clinton. “Never. Are you kidding me?”
“Well then we’re both in for a treat.” She grabbed my arm, against my will, and directed me into the train station that would eventually lead me to a realm that I never gave consideration to existing, much less being a part of.
+++++
You’re here, I’m pleased
I really dig your company
Sylvia’s was a popular soul food joint located in the center of Harlem, and apparently, DJ thought that I needed to pay her a visit. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first. The only fried chicken I’ve eaten is ‘Kitchen Fresh,’ and collard greens and cornbread were only known to me in movies like ‘The Color Purple.’ Not only that, but hot sauce has never been my condiment of choice “ until now. After DJ proceeded to sprinkle it on every food item on my plate, and force me to taste it, I was hooked. I know why they call it soul food “ that shit gives your soul a makeover. I’m officially coming to this restaurant every fuckin’ week.
“I take it you enjoyed your meal?” DJ asked, devouring a slice of sweet potato pie.
I leaned back to loosen my belt a little. “Thoroughly.”
“See? All you have to do is trust me “ I’ll never lead you wrong.”
Your style, your smile, your peace mentality
Lord, have mercy on me
“Yeah, I guess you’re right again.”
“I always am,” she grinned.
“And that’s gonna be why I’ll never love you.” This time, it was my turn to stick my tongue out at her.
“No, you’ll never love me because you’re scared to.”
“Are you fuckin’ kidding me? What is there to be scared of about you?”
“I didn’t say you were scared of me,” she smiled. “I said you were scared to love me.”
“That’s ri”“
“It’s not ridiculous. You’re scared to love me because you don’t want to find out that you have a heart somewhere in there “ that can be broken. You wanna be invincible - scared to even be vulnerable. You’re scared to find out that you’re not as much of an asshole as you’ve led yourself to believe all this time.”
“Thanks for the psychoanalysis, Dr. Phil. But none of that is true because I’m not scared. I have no reason to be.”
“It’s okay to have a flaw, you know. If I were to be totally honest, I’d say that you’re my weakness, too.”
“Dawn, what are you talking about?”
“Your mother left you and it hurt. Pain isn’t necessarily a bad thing, Justin.”
“All right, Dawn, it’s now time for you to officially shut the fuck up.”
“Typical,” she mumbled. “You ready to go?”
“Look, I don’t want to skip out on anymore checks, all right? If you don’t want to, then I’ll pay for it.”
She looked at me in bafflement at first, finally catching my drift. “Shut up. I was planning on paying this time.”
We laughed in unison at our antics before she began to stare at me curiously. “What?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just “ I know I said it before, but you have an amazing smile.”
I continued to grin at her, not even knowing why. She just makes me want to smile, I guess. “Thanks.”
I was blind, now I can see
What a queen’s supposed to be
“So are you taking me home again, or was that a one time deal?”
“As far as I’m concerned, that’s an every time deal. I can’t let you walk home in the dark by yourself.”
“Well aren’t you”“
“Even if you are ugly enough to scare off any potential danger.”
Before gathering her jacket and wallet as she rose from the table, she punched me in the arm for my comment and laughed. “You’re not funny, Justin.”
“Which is why you’re standing there laughing, right?”
“Right.”
Baby, I feel free, come on and go with me
+++++++++++++++
It was nearing midnight when the two of us reached Brooklyn. Instead of walking straight to her apartment, we took a detour through Prospect Park. The night was cool, but the breeze was calm, swirling the fallen leaves at our feet. I admired the colorful reds and yellows as Dawn animatedly debated why Britney Spears is twenty times better than Christina Aguilera.
“Well so what if Christina can’t sing,” I protested. “She can”“
“Not only can’t she sing,” she interjected, “but she lip synchs! How dare you get paid to sing and then get on stage and be an actress?”
“But the girl can dance her ass off.”
“She can follow the directions of a choreographer. Big whoop.”
“Why do you hate her so much? What did she ever do to you?”
“Nothing. I just don’t think Britney gets the attention she deserves when her voice is so much better than ‘Xtina,’” she scoffed, using the typical quote fingers.
“If Britney were so great, she’d have the attention she deserves.”
“No, it’s all because Christina came first. Britney even had to dye her hair black to step out of the girl’s shadow.”
“Oh, God forbid.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” she laughed, playfully shoving me to a park bench. “I don’t understand how you can think that that’s okay.”
“I don’t understand why you care,” I chuckled, taking a seat on the green, wooden and concrete seat.
“Well. I don’t “ really. I’m just making conversation.”
Let’s take a long walk around the park after dark
Find a spot for us to spark
Conversation, verbal elation, stimulation
“You’re funny.”
“You’re funny-lookin’.”
“Yeah, that’s mature.”
“Oh, so was that crack about me bein’ ugly enough to scare off any potential danger.”
I smiled, thinking of how funny that was. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m startin’ to like you.”
“Oh please, you’ve liked me since I cursed you out at Starbucks last week.”
There she goes again with all her fuckin’ assumptions that seem to never fail to be right. “In your dreams, bitch.”
“In reality, bitch.”
Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations
Elevations, maybe we can talk about Revelations 31:18
“Well… maybe.”
“I knew it!” she shrieked, scooting closer to me “ not so much that we were touching, but enough so that we could feel each other’s warmth. “So why have you been acting the part of an asshole all week?”
“Oh, I wasn’t acting. Just because I’ve admitted that you’re cool doesn’t mean I’m gonna be.”
“You’re pitiful,” she smirked. “It’s all right, Justin. I have nothing but time.”
“What’s with you? You think that if you wait long enough, I’ll just let go?”
“Justin, I told you, I have plenty of experience with bitches like you. I bet if we sit here long enough, you’ll be able to tell me something you’ve never told anyone before.”
Your background, it ain’t squeaky clean shit
Sometimes we all got to swim upstream
“You can sit here all night waiting for that moment if you want, but I’m not saying shit.”
“That’s cool. I’ll just sit and wait.” She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at the dark scenery. “Nothing but time, baby.”
I watched her ignore my obstinacy. We sat in silence for minutes, despite the stiff coldness of the air surrounding us. I took a deep breath and leaned forward to my knees so that we were side-by-side. “I don’t want to hate her, you know.” I paused when she looked back at me with a comforting stare. “I’ve tried so hard not to, but every time I think of how fucking selfish she was “ still is “ I get pissed all over again..”
DJ’s head dropped and she stared at the ground but rubbed my thigh when she spoke. “When’s the last time you talked to her?”
“I don’t know. It’s been years.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Last time I saw her, she was at my high school graduation and I told her to fuck off.”
“Justin! That’s your mother!”
“I don’t care. She wasn’t there for me. Why should I act like she’s the shit because she showed up in my life for a couple of hours?”
You ain’t no saint, we all are sinners
“I know. I just can’t imagine holding that much contempt for someone that gave you life.”
“Well that’s because your mother didn’t walk out on you and the man that loved her more than life itself.”
“So did she just go out for cigarettes and never come back?”
“No. But she cheated on him with some short fool named Paul, and then, after my dad found out, instead of trying to work through it, she left us. Just packed her shit and went.”
“Wow.”
“She claimed that she was ‘in love’ with him,” I scoffed. “What a load of bullshit.”
DJ chuckled nervously. “Well Justin, you can’t help who you fall in love with.”
“No, Dawn, fuck that! She wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else if she weren’t fuckin’ him in the first goddamn place!”
“I know,” she said quietly. “I know.”
“She was wrong, so don’t even try to defend her.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not.”
But you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner
I respect that, man you’re so phat
And you’re all that, plus supreme
“Good.”
“I wish there was something I could do,” she added, rubbing my back.
“You can. You can stop touching me.” She punched me in the back of my neck when I laughed. “That, and don’t ever bring this up again “ not to me, or anybody.”
“Done.” She rose from the bench and began to stretch with a yawn. “I told you that you would talk to me. I should be a fuckin’ psychologist.”
“You’re doing better as just a psycho,” I retorted, hopping up from the bench.
“Well this psycho needs to get to bed, so let’s go, homeboy.”
Then you’re humble, man I’m numb
Yo, with feeling, I can feel everything that you bring
We continued our promenade through the park, continuing to discuss any random shit that our brains seemed to come up with. I even pretended to listen while she rambled about her old demons and past decisions. There’s something about the way she seems so passionate when she speaks. She just makes me want to know more, even though I probably don’t fucking care one way or the other.
We were approaching the same street as we had the night before when we slowed to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk. She intertwined her fingers in front of her and extended her arms so that they were centimeters from my chest. “Thank you for not being a total bitch tonight.”
“I should be thanking you,” I smiled.
She shook her head, staring at me. “God, where did you get such gorgeous teeth!”
“I guess that’s one thing I can thank my mother for,” I laughed.
“Well then you owe her a huge thank you, homie.”
“Heh, it’s the least she could do.”
“Well like I said, thanks for being cool.”
“May I ask why we’re standing here?”
“Because I’m trying to think of something cool to say before I scurry off into the night.”
“But why are you trying to be cool? I like you so much better when you’re yourself.”
“Ha. Ha,” she rolled her eyes, plucking my shoulder. “I’m trying to be cool so that you’ll have the yearn to do this again sometime.”
“Yeah, maybe next time you can pick the restaurant that we illegally evacuate.”
A smile spread across her face “ a huge, bright one that lit up Nevins Street more than any of those damn street lights could. “Or maybe you can just pick a place that at least one of us would want to eat at.”
Or maybe we can see a movie
Or maybe we can see a play on Saturday
Or maybe we can roll a tree and feel the breeze and listen to a symphony
Or maybe chill and just be, or maybe
Maybe we can take a cruise and listen to the Roots or maybe eat some passion fruit
Or maybe cry to the blues
Or maybe we could just be silent
I got the irresistible urge to kiss her again, but we actually did have a near-perfect night and for once in my life, I cared too much to fuck that up. “Good night, DJ.”
She grinned and nodded knowingly before harshly punching my arm for about the millionth-fucking-time tonight. “Good night, Justin.”
And for the millionth-fucking-time tonight, I smiled back.
Lyrics: "A Long Walk" - Jill Scott
The One With the VapoRub by Ashley
“Good morning!” I walked into my office cheerfully for about the fifth consecutive day. I don’t know why, but lately, the days have just been more pleasant.
Sharry at her desk in her usual ‘I’m busy’ state, but grinned back at me as I took my seat. “I see Justin still has you all smiles.”
“Oh, please. He doesn’t affect my mood whatsoever.”
“’Oh, please’ is right. For the past two weeks “ ever since y’all went on that second date “ you’ve been skipping around here like cupid hit your ass.”
Well okay, I have been happy for the past two weeks or so. But it’s not only because Justin and I have gotten along so well. “Can’t I just be happy?”
“Nobody’s that happy unless they’re getting some.”
“Oh, see now that’s where you’re wrong,” I protested. “We’re just friends. No kissin’-touchin’-fuckin’ is going on up over here.”
She rolled her eyes, signifying that she didn’t believe me. “Okay, Dawn.”
“Sharry, I’m serious! Justin is just my homeboy. My life isn’t at a place where I need anything more than that.”
“Oh, everyone can use a fuck buddy.”
I know that’s right. “Well I don’t,” I retorted, finally removing my Yankees jacket, and preparing to head upstairs. “Has Justin been down here yet?”
Sharry glanced at her computer before replying, “Nope, not since I’ve been here.”
“Oh.” He’s usually sitting at my desk when I walk in, so maybe a little wishful thinking made me ask.
“Maybe he’s actually doing his job,” she smirked.
“Yeah, maybe so.” Dazed, I left my desk to head back for the bootleg elevators in this building and wait to be carried upstairs. I entered the Getty suite, greeting their receptionist and then Joey when I passed his office while on my way to Justin’s.
Before I could reach the end of the hall, Joey cut me off in the short corridor. “Hey, uh, Justin’s not here today.”
I eyed him carefully and then Justin’s door, wondering if he was telling me the truth. “He’s fuckin’ a girl in there, isn’t he?”
He smiled widely while shaking his head. “No, he actually called in sick about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Oh, so he’s just fuckin’ a girl at home.”
“Justin wasn’t lying when he said you were hilarious,” he laughed.
Wow, Justin actually gave me a compliment. “Well you should’ve known he wasn’t lying.” Wait a minute, Justin actually gave me a compliment?
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. But yeah, he sounded pretty sick when I talked to him.”
“Well that’s just too bad,” I replied, walking towards the exit. “I think I’ll go back downstairs and give him a call.”
“I’m sure he’d get a kick outta that.”
“Thanks, Joe.” With that, I went right back down to my office and gave Justin a ring before anything could get me off track.
Coughing and stuffy, he answered the phone. “What?”
“Say that again?” I giggled.
“Say what again?”
“Say ‘what’ again.”
“Dawn, now’s not the time to play games.”
I giggled again at his congestion. “You sound like Mickey Mouse.”
“Did you call to harass me? Or for once in your life, do you have a purpose?”
“I actually called to see how you were doing, Mr. Timberlake.”
“Well I’m just peachy, Ms. James. Me and Minnie are having a great time over here.”
“Well tell Minnie that she better bounce before I get there, ‘cause I’m coming over on my lunch break.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to, so get over it and get ready.”
“Wait, do you know where I live?”
“That’s what you’re about to tell me.” I smiled at Sharry as Justin and I spoke, knowing that she was hanging onto my every word. I think her crush on him gets bigger the more I get to know him.
Just as he began citing his address, my boss, Liz came ripping through the office. “Dawn, get off the phone. I need you.”
“Okay Justin, I gotta run. Leave your address on my voice mail.” Hanging up, I followed Liz into her office, desperately counting the seconds until lunchtime.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Clouds were gathering in the sky when I left the office for lunch. It was half past noon before Liz relieved me of officious duty, but she also gave me an extra half-hour, so I wasn’t even close to complaining. Through the bustle of Manhattan, after stopping at Rite-Aid and my favorite Chinese joint, I made my way to midtown. By the time I reached his apartment on the quiet end of 34th Street, rain had made its gloomy presence known, essentially soaking my poor white blouse.
I pressed the buzzer, appropriately titled, Timberlake, and waited to be let in. Through the elegant lobby, I went, taking the elevator up to his third floor apartment “ 3C. I knocked on the door and waited another few minutes to gain access to the final door between Justin and me.
He swung the door open, and he stood before me with his eyes about 3/4 closed, mouth hung open, and his short curls in adorable disarray. Somehow, in spite of his sickness, he looks sexily dressed down in his white Boston shirt and gray sweatpants.
I had to resist the urge not to giggle at his misery. “How are you feeling?” I asked, walking into his huge apartment behind him.
“Like shit,” he answered hoarsely.
“You look it,” I lied, gawking at his place. His apartment was a Pottery Barn dream. High ceilings, wood floors, spiral steps, accentuated by dark brown furniture to match the wood. I dropped my bag of food at the kitchen counter to my right and watched him hobble up the staircase to where I assumed his bedroom was. “Am I supposed to just wait here?”
He peeked over the balcony upstairs to look at me where I stood in his living room. “Whatever.”
From my past experiences with Justin, I decided that ‘whatever’ means that I should wait for him to say something more, so I headed back over to the kitchen area and pulled out my chicken lo mein.
Before I could even get the first forkful to my lips, he yelled back over the balcony, “Get up here, DJ!”
I quickly left my noodles to get cold and ran upstairs, where the only room that existed was his very gray bedroom. “Nice place you got here.”
“You come to critique my apartment or keep me company?”
“Well, a little of neither, but plans change.”
“What’d you bring me to eat?”
“Some cough drops,” I said, plopping onto the foot of his queen-sized bed, realizing that my shirt was uncomfortably damp. “Yo, you got a t-shirt I can borrow?”
“What’s wrong with your shirt?”
“It’s wet.”
He eyed me and the length of my torso. “It doesn’t look wet to me.”
“So you think I just want one of your shirts for the hell of it?”
“Maybe.”
“Justin, gimme a damn shirt.” He slowly picked himself up from his comforter to search his dresser drawers before eventually throwing a large gray and burgundy sweatshirt in my direction. “Damn, do you have anything that doesn’t say ‘Boston’ on it?”
With a stuffy “Nope,” he climbed right back into his bed, flipping on his plasma television. “Remind me why you’re here again?”
I stood up to pull the sweatshirt on and strategically pull off the wet shirt underneath without revealing too much of anything. “Have you taken anything yet?”
“What?”
“Have you taken any medicine?”
“Yeah, mom.”
“Ha. Ha. What have you taken?”
“I dunno. DayQuil or something.”
“Or something,” I chuckled. “You could be on vicodin and you wouldn’t even know.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not it.”
“Well I brought you a few surefire remedies.”
“Like what?” he sneezed.
“Bless you,” I answered, handing him his box of tissues. “Like some Vick’s.”
“Who is that?”
“Take off your shirt,” I laughed, heading back downstairs.
“For what?” he yelled.
“Because I said so!”
“I’m really not in the mood to fuck right now.”
Bouncing back upstairs with my Rite-Aid bag, I rolled my eyes at his boorishness. “I’m not either. I just want you to be nice and naked when I tie you to your bed.”
“Cute.”
“You have to take your shirt off for Vick.”
“Who is that?”
I removed the small, navy blue jar of medicine from the plastic bag and inched towards Justin’s spot on the bed. “Take off the shirt or I’m gonna take it off for you.”
“You always struck me as the type that liked it rough.”
“Justin, take off the damn shirt.”
“Why?”
“Why are you so fuckin’ difficult. Take it off!”
Slowly and hesitantly, he removed his oversized white t-shirt to reveal the most beautiful, chiseled pack of abs that I’ve ever seen in person. I thought shit like this only existed in movies starring Brad Pitt. Damn.
“Stop looking at me like you’re about to bite into me,” he said, sniffling.
Well it’s official “ he can read my mind. “How bout you shut up and open this for me.”
“Vick’s Vapor Rub,” he read off of the label. “What is this?”
“It’s what’s gonna make you feel better. It opens up your nasal passages and helps you breathe and all that shit.”
Removing the lid, he took a whiff of the light green substance. “Dawn, this smells like shit. What are you gonna do with it?”
“I’m gonna rub it on your chest.” If I don’t have a damn orgasm first.
“I swear to God, if this makes me feel worse, I’m making you eat this.”
“Trust me, all right? I use it all the time on my “ I use it all the time.”
“I’m just warning you.”
“Sit back and shut up,” I retorted, pushing him onto his pillows. I carefully took a dollop of the gel and placed it at the crevice of his neck, slowly circling my fingers around his collarbone. I watched in content as he closed his eyes at my touch and finally began to breathe again. “See how fast it works?” I said, softly.
“Yeah, just hurry up.”
I added more to his chest with one hand while trying to fan myself with the other. I tried to tell myself that this was all very innocent and I was only trying to help him, but the more I think about it, the warmer it gets in here. And this damned sweatshirt isn’t helping. His breathing is getting better while mine quickens with every touch.
Be wise, be smart
Behave my heart
Don’t upset your cart when he’s so close
“How long do you have to do this for?”
Okay, so rubbing this shit onto his chest put me into a trance. “Well, I guess I’m done.”
“About damn time,” he sniffled. Before he could say another word, a huge sneeze came flying out “ onto me.
Mortified, I moved away from him, taking a couple of tissues with me to wipe his… sneeze off of my face. “Please get me a washcloth.”
“That’s what you get for bein’ all up in my face,” he smiled, walking to his neighboring bathroom as he pulled his t-shirt back on. A few seconds later, he returned, handing me a lukewarm wet towel to wash my face with.
“Well Justin, as gross as that was, I think I’m gonna bounce. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Leaving so soon?”
“Yeah, I can’t afford to catch your cold. The last thing I need is to get my little boy sick. And then I’ll be missing work and sh”“
“Wait, a minute,” he sneezed. “Your little boy?”
“My little boy?”
“You have a little boy?”
Damn, did I really just say that? “Oh, yeah, my little boy. You know how they have those big brother/sister programs at the Boys and Girls Club?”
“Sure. I guess.”
“Yeah. Well yeah, I have a little brother with them. You should meet him sometime.”
“Yeah.” He sniffled and headed down the steps, leaving me to follow him. “You bought this for me?” he yelled upstairs.
“Bought what?”
“The Chinese.”
No, motherfucker. It’s my lunch break. I walked downstairs to find him chomping away at my food. “You’re lucky I don’t beat on sick people.”
“So you didn’t bring it for me?” he asked, purposely coughing over the entire container of lo mein.
I pulled on my jacket and shook my head at him. “I should’ve just let you be sick.”
“But then you’d suffer at work everyday without me coming to visit you.”
“I can live without you harassing me for a few days.”
“Which is why you rushed over here to make me better, right?”
I rolled my eyes playfully and headed towards the door. “I’m taking your umbrella.”
“No you’re not.”
“I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”
“Hey.”
I turned around to him after opening the door. “What?”
“Take my keys.”
“Why?”
“So I don’t have to let you back in tomorrow.”
“What if you have to leave?”
“Then I have another set. Take them and get the fuck out.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Lunch the next day had approached, and while I usually wait for Sharry to return before I leave, it was almost 2PM and I wanted to get back to Justin’s place to check on him before the day was over. That, and I wanted to return his keys, umbrella and sweatshirt before he cursed me out for having them too long.
I happily strutted down 34th Street in the sunny day, anticipating seeing that man’s gorgeous little face again. No, I don’t like him, and yes, he’s still just my friend, but that doesn’t change the fact that the man is fine. I went the same route as yesterday, stopping for Chinese “ for both of us, going past Rite-Aid and finally reaching his building, glad to not have to awkwardly stand in the rain waiting for him to answer.
Unfortunate for me, however, I seemed to have picked an inopportune time for Justin. I opened the door to find Sharry standing jaw-dropped in front of me. I frowned at the sight of her and looked up to Justin’s balcony in disgust. “Fancy meeting you here.”
She chuckled nervously and grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter. “Dawn. This isn’t what it looks like.”
“Looks like you got a little dessert with your lunch today.”
She gave me a fake grin “ one of those grins where you don’t even show teeth “ and pulled on her powder blue peacoat. “I’m sorry.”
You should be. “Don’t be.”
“Well, um, I’ll leave you two alone. Justin, I’ll see you later,” she yelled up to him.
“Later,” he replied, not even finding his way to the overlook to say goodbye.
“I’ll see you back at work, Dawn.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t bother to turn and watch her leave. I was too pissed off to move. I merely waited to hear the elevators take her away before informing Justin of my presence. “Yo, I’m leaving your shit here on the counter,” I yelled.
“Dawn?” He leaned over his balcony to make sure he heard right. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Yeah, just walked in.”
Making his way downstairs, pulling on a dark blue sweatshirt, he greeted me happily. “Hey.”
“I thought you were sick.”
“I still am. Kind of.”
“Oh, so I guess Sharry was part of your remedy.”
“You could say that.” He smirked at me rolling my eyes as he moved closer to me and grabbed my waist. “You know, you could be the other part of that remedy.”
Damn, I like the sound of that. “Is that so?”
“Well you’ve already seen me half naked. Why not finish the job?”
I smiled “ mostly at the feeling of his fingers on the bare skin of my sides. “I’d love to finish the job.”
Be soft, be sweet
But be discreet
“In that case”“
“But, I don’t wanna catch a cold,” I finished, elbowing him off of me.
Don’t go off your feet when he’s so close for comfort
“You’re a wicked moron.”
“Yeah well.” I smiled and pulled out the Chinese food cartons. “I bought us some more lunch.”
“More lo mein?” he whined.
“No, you big baby, I bought us some General Tso’s and Sesame Chicken.”
“And rice?”
“Some chicken fried rice and then I think they added a carton of white.”
“Damn, girl, you know what I like.”
“I aim to please.”
Cheerfully, we pulled out the food and piled it onto our respective paper plates, sitting at the kitchen counter. Conversation was even going relatively well until the phone rang. “Justin Timberlake,” he answered professionally. I had no clue who he was talking to, but by the end of the conversation, I concluded that it was another one of his whores. “I’ll see you tonight,” he finished.
“Going out?” I asked once he returned to our meal.
“Oh. Yeah.”
“You’re such a bastard,” I chuckled, shaking my head.
“What the fuck did I do now?”
“You just had Sharry in here like 20 minutes ago, and now you’re making a ‘date’ with a new bitch.”
“Damn. Jealous much?”
“I’m not jealous. I just don’t understand you.”
“It’s not your place to understand me, Dawn. It’s not like I’m committed to anyone.”
“I’m not saying that you are. I’m saying that the way you treat women is just “ it’s deplorable.”
“What the fuck have I done to them? Sharry came over here on her own free will. Rachel just called me because she wanted to. I’m not twisting any arms here.”
“Whatever.” I took a bite of my chicken and stared at the view behind him.
“Just because you don’t take an interest in me doesn’t mean that no one else will.”
“Don’t take an interest? What the fuck am I sitting here for?” I yelled.
“You tell me, Dawn. What do you want from me!”
“What the fuck are you yelling at me for!”
“You started yelling first!”
“Well. Whatever!”
He narrowed his eyes at me and gave me a frown of bewilderment. “You’re not making any sense!”
“You want some sense? Stop being a motherfuckin’ whore!”
“I’m not attached to anyone “ especially not you, who won’t even give me a goddamn kiss, so I can do whatever the fuck I want!”
“Is that what this is about, Justin? You’re still mad because I didn’t kiss you two fucking weeks ago?”
“No, Dawn, that’s not what this is about! This is about the fact that you can’t tell me shit, because I don’t owe you shit, because you and me aren’t shit!”
“What?”
“Like I said, I can do whatever I want. You’re not my mother. You’re not my girlfriend. Contrary to what you think, I don’t have to fuckin’ answer to you.”
I nodded, licking my lips “ probably because I know he’s right. But at the same time, he’s so wrong. “Well you can do whatever you want… without me.” In that same breath, I grabbed my jacket from the couch and stormed through the door.
Too close for comfort, please not again
Too close to know just when to say ‘When’
He’s much too close for comfort now
Lyrics: “Too Close For Comfort” “ La Toya London (American Idol, Season 3)
The One On The Boat by Ashley
I haven’t talked to Dawn in a week. I haven’t even been downstairs to ignore her, and I’m not even sure why. But then, she hasn’t bothered to talk to me either, so it seems like we’re mad at each other. The last time we even uttered a word to one another was the day after I returned from my sick leave and I brought her the blouse that she left at my place.
Tonight is the building’s annual Remember November Ball on the South Street Seaport’s Zephyr cruiser. After last year, I swore I’d never show up again, but I changed my mind, somewhat hoping that DJ would show up. Don’t tell her though, ‘cause I don’t want her thinking that I like her or any bullshit like that.
It was near 8PM when a group of us guys from the Getty office were crowded in a huddle at the end of Pier 17, waiting to board the boat. I laughed absently at the idle conversation we were having while inadvertently searching the boardwalk for Dawn’s tall frame. Instead, I spotted her boss heading in my direction.
“Good evening, Justin,” she whispered heavily, fingering the collar of my coat.
“Good evening, Liz.”
“Save me a dance, handsome.”
“Yeah, sure,” I replied, noticing the silhouette of Dawn’s head approaching on the passenger’s side of a big, dark blue Dodge Durango. I couldn’t make out exactly who was driving, but I was sure that it wasn’t a woman. “Hold that thought, Liz.” I moved out of the vicinity of the group and tried to inch towards the street while watching her get out of the car “ thankfully, alone.
She swayed towards where I stood, wearing a navy blue suit with silver pinstripes that didn’t become noticeable until she walked past me. She glanced at me knowingly, but didn’t say a word. Hold the fuck up. Why is she walking past me?
“Hey, Justin,” said a voice to my left.
I turned to see Sharry and another woman whose face I recognized, but whose name escaped me. “Hey.”
“You look great tonight.”
“Thanks,” I answered, my gaze following Dawn to where she started to get onto the boat, which would momentarily be departing.
Another voice called after me as I walked to the end of the pier. “Hi, Justin” was all I heard on my path to wherever Dawn had finally stopped. I don’t want to talk to her, but I’ll be damned if I let her fuckin’ ignore me without her knowing that I’m ignoring her, too.
I made it onto the swanky boat, trying to maintain my balance when the floor tipped with my steps. Just my fuckin’ luck, before I could get to the second level of the triple-tier cruiser, I was stopped by a group of women that seem to be part of my goddamn fan club tonight. “Hey, Justin, I’m saving a seat for you at my table,” one of the women said. If I’m not mistaken, she’s the blonde that works in the mailroom on the first floor, but who the hell really knows. Better yet, who cares?
“Thanks,” I replied, peering behind her to the staircase. If I could just get past her, I know Dawn went upstairs, damn it. “Could you hold that seat at the table?” I added.
“Oh, yeah. Sure. I’ll be right over there,” she smiled.
“Yeah. Uh, what’s your name again?”
“Leslie.”
“Right. Leslie. Stay here, and I’ll be back.”
“Don’t take too long,” she said, waving as I departed to the steps.
Just as I turned around, another broad coming off of the staircase caught me. “Hey Justin.”
“Hey. Uh, Jenny, right?”
“Jamie,” she smiled.
“Right. Jamie. If you’ll excuse me…”
“Sure. Hey, when you come back down, how ‘bout I buy you a drink?”
“Whatever you want,” I smiled back, removing myself from her path. Finally, I made it upstairs to where the dance floor was staged. I thought the first level was crowded, but the second was fucking packed. It wasn’t a huge boat, but I’d planned to be able to sit my ass down once we took off floating down the Hudson River. “I’m never gonna fuckin’ find her,” I said to myself.
“She’s upstairs,” a new voice said behind me.
I spun on my heel to find Joey grinning at me. “Hey, man.”
“You look like you’ve had a rough night already,” he laughed.
“Man, who knew that this many hoes worked in our building?”
“Apparently you did. You’ve fucked them all, haven’t you?”
“No way. I don’t even know half these bitches.”
“Well they know you.”
I rolled my eyes at the thought and looked at my watch. “So you said Dawn is upstairs, right?”
“Yeah, she was sitting at a table by herself, too.”
“Did she look pissed off or anything?”
“Nah, she looked kinda happy actually.”
What the fuck is she so happy about? “Oh.”
“She looks good, too, man.”
Yeah, no shit. “I didn’t notice.”
“Stop kidding yourself and go talk to her,” he prodded.
“Well if she’s so happy, why should I go fuck that up?”
“Because that’s what you always do. Go on up there, man.”
Eh, he’s right. I handed Joey my coat, figuring that he’d be on his way to the coat check sooner or later, and I swallowed my pride to make it to the top of the boat. Just as Joe had informed me, she was up there, sitting at a table. But she most certainly wasn’t alone. It would be totally out of character for me to say that my heart dropped when I saw her engaged in lively conversation with Alex from Accounting, but… well you get the point.
I figure two can play this game, so I grabbed the nearest woman and sat her down with me, about two tables behind Dawn and Alex. “Just pretend we’re talking,” I said to the woman, anxiously peering at the table ahead of us.
The woman, whose big, dark blonde bouffant-style hairdo was blocking my line of vision, giggled at my unfunny comment. “Nice to see you again, Justin.”
“Do I know you?”
“Yeah? It’s Natasha from the 4th floor.”
Who? What? “Oh, yeah. Natasha.”
“So how have you been?”
“Could you do me a favor and make your hair smaller? I can’t see the woman behind you.”
She turned to see what my attention was so focused on before smiling back at me in an awkward, nervous manner. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I really can’t see.”
“Well, she seems kind of busy. You could, you know, pay attention to who’s in front of you,” she stated sharply. She continued to talk, but I basically ignored her for the most part, not giving a fuck about whatever it is Natasha felt the urge to lecture me on.
“Hey, you wanna dance?” I interrupted.
She finally stopped yapping and gave a bashful smile. “There’s no room to dance up here.”
“Yeah, I was thinking we could go downstairs.” Where the normal people exist, I hope.
She stood up and silently waited to grab my hand and guide me down to the second level. There, the sound of Stevie Wonder pulsated through the boat’s speakers while co-workers swayed to the beat, acting as though their relationships were more intricate than ‘Hi-and-Bye.’
Natasha and I danced for two consecutive songs while she rambled my ear off about her cat, before I told her that I needed a break. The fact of the matter is, I saw DJ come downstairs and escape to the outside of the boat where most people stood to puff on cigarettes.
I relieved myself of Natalie “ or Natasha? Well I left the bitch and went outside to where Dawn stood, gazing at the water rippling past us. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
She hardly glanced at me before replying, “Hi to you, too, Justin.”
“Stop being a jerk and answer me.”
“Why are you talking to me?”
“I asked you a question.”
“Dawn James.”
“What?”
“You asked me who I thought I was. I’m pretty sure that that’s me. I’m Dawn James, who’s tired of Justin Timberlake’s bullshit.”
“Who was that that dropped you off at the pier?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Dawn, I’m fucking serious. Who was he?”
“Why, Justin? Why do you care? Why do you give a fuck who I’m with or what I’m doing?”
“Because I do. Why can’t you answer the fuckin’ question?”
“It was my brother, okay! It was my goddamn brother!”
“Dawn, you’re making a scene.”
“Justin, you’re making me sick.”
“If it was your brother, then why are you making such a big deal about answering me?”
“Because I don’t have to answer to you. What was that you said? You can’t tell me shit, because I don’t owe you shit. Isn’t that right? Because, and I quote, ‘you and me aren’t shit.’”
“Why are you acting like a bitch?” I retorted.
“You know, as often as you ask me that, you’d think by now that it’s not an act,” she answered, leaning over the railing of the boat.
There was a long, uncomfortable pause between us before I spoke again. “I don’t like when you act like this.”
“Justin, I’m standing here minding my business. Why don’t you try it?”
“Are you still mad about Sheila?”
“Her name is Sharry!” she yelled. “The girl’s fucking name is Sharry!”
“So it’s about her?”
“No, motherfucker. This shit is about you. You cannot keep projecting your faults onto other people. You can’t keep pushing people away with that horrible attitude and then all of a sudden become offended when they finally get sick of you! You have to stop with the fuckin’ hot and cold act, man. It’s confusing. It’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking! God, open your heart, Justin. Open your fuckin’ eyes! Find a good woman to occupy your time and to keep in your life instead of constantly fucking with mine!” And by the end of her speech, she had stormed back inside to piss me off even more by dancing with another motherfucker.
I kept my distance for the majority of the song playing, mainly because I wasn’t really in the mood to dance to it, but as Dawn and her dancing partner, Paul, made their way closer to my wallflower position, I decided to take a stand “ well, a dance. “Move,” I said to Paul, tapping his shoulder.
“Don’t move,” she shot back to him.
“Paul, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll move.”
He quickly bid DJ adieu and scampered off leaving me to dance with her. “Justin, you have no right to”“
“Sorry,” I interrupted.
“What?”
“Sorry,” I repeated.
“You talkin’ to me?” she asked, sounding like DeNiro, though I doubt it was deliberate.
“Dawn “ DJ, I’m sorry.”
Be firm, be fair, be sure, beware
On your guard, take care while there’s such temptation
She nodded and I could tell that she was content to have received an apology from me. They only come about once a year, so it looks like she got lucky. “I’m sorry, too.” I could feel her muscles relax and she let her body rest against mine. Silently, we rocked back and forth to the resonance of the speakers playing Alicia Keys’s youthful voice singing her first song. “Justin, what are we doing here?” she asked softly.
One thing leads to another
Too late to run for cover
Falling…”I dunno, DJ,” I sighed. “Just dance.”
She’s much too close for comfort now
Lyrics: "Too Close For Comfort" - Frank Sinatra (Come Dance With Me)
The One With The Wish by Ashley
“Dawn, I need you!” Liz called from her office.
It had been a long, harrowing day, and I certainly wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of her bullshit. She’s been calling my name since I walked in this morning, citing a crisis involving her biggest, most recent case. I swear, if she spent half the time on her cases that she did bugging me about unnecessary shit like Justin, she’d be a much better lawyer. I pretended to be on the phone and ignored her catcall, knowing that she didn’t really want anything.
“Dawn,” Sharry whispered, “Liz is calling you.”
I haven’t said much of anything to Sharry these days. Hell, half the time, I’m tempted to call her Sheila. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t feel like dealing with her.”
“You better answer her, or then she’s gonna start calling me!”
My thoughts exactly. “So let her bug you for once. Your side of the office is never busy.” Liz’s partner, Julian Troy, tends not to come in on days that end with the letter ‘Y.’
Liz finally retreated from her office to where Sharry and I both sat, ignoring her. “Dawn, didn’t you hear me calling you?”
For the ninetieth fucking time today, of course I did. “No, I must have been on the phone,” I smiled.
“Oh, well if you’re busy, I can just use Sharry. Shar, can you come to my office for a few minutes?”
I smiled in satisfaction when they departed, Sharry sticking her tongue out at me. I wasn’t like I was lying “ I had been on the phone…at some point that day. And I was busy. I had to finish up the piles of paperwork that Justin threw at me a few weeks ago. I don’t know where he gets his nerve, or why I even opted to finish it, but Dawn James doesn't start something that she’s not gonna finish. Usually.
Relieved and exhausted, I piled the work into a stray paper box and headed upstairs to greet Justin with it. When I reached the Getty suite, I was stopped, for once in my life, by the receptionist, Drea. “Hey, Dawn. Justin’s in the middle of an appointment.”
For the first time ever, he’s actually doing something productive? Unbelievable. “Oh, okay. How much longer do you think he’ll be?”
“I’m not sure. He’s interviewing for the new intern position.”
Justin, of all people? Those poor aspiring interns. “Well I just wanted to drop this box off with him, so could you just let him know that I came by and give it to him?”
Drea’s response was interrupted by the ring of the phone in front of her, but she waved me the go-ahead to take the box to his office. I turned the corner just in time to see Justin’s door opening and a short, caramel-colored guy with a baby face shaking Justin’s hand. “Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Timberlake,” the guy said, genuinely.
Justin pulled off his glasses and smirked at the guy. “You’re welcome, Mr. Usher.”
“It’s Raymond,” he corrected Justin “ Uh, bad idea.
“What?”
“Oh, I was just saying that my last name is Raymond. It’s Usher Raymond.”
Justin rolled his eyes and smiled when he saw me at the end of the hall. “Whatever. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to offer you a job with us this semester, but I’ll see what I can do about a recommendation for the summer.”
I inched down the hall to where the two men stood, amused by the fact that Justin held so much power at such a young age. With a bowed head, the Usher Raymond kid advanced down the hall and presumably out of the suite.
“Usher? What kind of fucked up name is that,” Justin commented, waiting for me to walk into his office before him.
“I know right,” I laughed, plopping down into his big leather swivel chair.
“So what can I do for you?” he asked, sitting on the cluttered surface of his dark cherry wood desk.
“Well I finished the work you gave me.”
“What?”
I picked up the box full of papers and sat it on his lap. “I believe I was supposed to file the tax returns for this case and then invest the dividends for your company after Liz or Julian okayed it.”
“Dawn, you didn’t really have to do that.”
“Of course I did.”
“I gave you this work because I was mad at you. You weren’t even supposed to be able to do it.”
“I’m sure you counted on that”“
“How in God’s name did you finish this? To be able to even calculate the annual income, you needed access to Lexus which you don’t get until you pass the bar.”
I turned from facing him to play with his computer while he looked at me in amazement. “Well it seems that I’m more than just a secretary, doesn’t it?”
He began flipping through pages of the stacks of work in utter disbelief. “DJ, what the fuck are you doing posing as a receptionist?”
“I’m not posing,” I chuckled. “I had aspirations to become a lawyer. But sometimes shit just doesn’t work out the way you plan.”
“What happened?”
“Life happened.”
He kicked his chair so that it turned to make me face him again. “Talk to me. Why aren’t you a lawyer?”
“It’s a long story. I just “ I dunno.”
“You went to Syracuse, right?”
“Yep.”
“Dawn, they have one of the best law schools in New York.”
“Justin, I can’t afford to go there. I can’t go to school and make money, and I really need a job.”
“What about scholarships?”
“What about no?”
“What about, this is obviously what you were meant to do? Why don’t you want to do it?”
“Justin, do me a favor and don’t push this, okay?”
“How about if we make a deal?”
“What is it?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
“I’m gonna make a few calls to see what I can do about getting you some scholarship money”“
“No, Justin, I really don’t have time for anything like that.”
“You can go part-time. Plenty of people do it, and these are people with families and shit. It’ll be a breeze for you.”
Yeah, a breeze. “Justin, I’m begging you not to push me into this.”
“No, we’re not arguing about this. What the fuck is the problem? You pay nothing, you get to law school. Mission accomplished.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It is,” he smiled. “Now get up and get out. I have another appointment in about five minutes.”
“I guess I have no choice.”
“Goddamn right you don’t have a choice. Tomorrow, I’m gonna see who I can talk to at SUNY about getting you some money, and then you can come over tomorrow night and we’ll do some mock interviews and shit “ get you prepared.”
“Prepared?”
“Yes, Dawn, you have to meet people when you’re asking them for handouts,” he laughed.
Slowly, I rose from the chair and made my way to the door, wanting to argue with him, but knowing that there was really no use in trying. “Justin, why are you doing this?”
“Because I can,” he said boastfully, not looking up from his computer.
“You just want some ass, don’t you?”
“Well yeah, but that’s not why I’m doing this.”
I suppose there are worse things in the world. “I’m going home.”
“I’ll call you when I get in.”
In a sing-song voice, I bid him good night and trudged downstairs to be on my way home.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Who would’ve thought of it?
That I might feel like this
Some kind of wonderful, there’s nothing quite comparable
Tomorrow somehow became today, and all of a sudden, I was trudging through the lobby of Justin’s apartment building once again, bearing food and a giddy grin that just won’t go away. I reached the third floor to find him waiting for me in front of his apartment door. I swear to God, the man looks better every damn time I see him. Yes, I just saw him at work, but he managed to get cuter in the past hour.
As I playfully pushed past him to walk into his place, I noticed the extra curl in his hair and his overbearing Polo scent, and I concluded that he’d just taken a shower. “You can wipe that grin off your face,” I told him, setting the pizza box on his kitchen counter and taking off my jacket. “This pizza is mine.”
“Go on somewhere,” he laughed, pushing me into the wall where the oven was located. “You know you’re not allowed in here unless you bring me food.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just pimp the shit outta me, man.”
“You and everyone else that works on 101 Wall Street.”
“No shit,” I replied, fiddling with the oven buttons. “Okay, help me out with this thing.”
“Damn, girl, you can’t even turn on an oven? I feel sorry for whoever has to marry you.”
“Just shut up and turn on the goddamn oven.”
As he heated up our pepperoni Sicilian, I made my way to the living room where he’d situated a number of ‘How To’ books on the coffee table. Along with them, there were several applications for financial aid and other non-academic scholarships. I scanned the papers while he hustled and bustled through the kitchen.
“You should look through those scholarship requirements and see what you’re eligible for,” he yelled back to me. “They have some interesting shit in there.”
The thing about it is it’s all so innocent
I wasn’t looking for it
Came knockin’ at my door
I picked up one of the sheets whose title caught my eye. “They have scholarships for women over five-foot-seven?” I commented in amusement, walking back to the kitchen.
“Apparently they have ‘em for damn near anything. They give them out if you have a scar on your left hand “ we just gotta find them.”
“Well shit, I could give myself a scar.”
“Exactly,” he smiled, passing me a paper plate. “Oh, I didn’t know how many slices you wanted, so I just heated the whole thing.”
“That’s such a You thing to do,” I chuckled, waiting for him to serve me.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I just find it funny that you’d rather do shit yourself than to ask a simple question.”
I’m tryin’ to do things right but I’m about to lose the fight
“Here’s a question “ why are you sitting there holding that plate out like my name is Geoffrey?”
Ha, he took it old school to the Fresh Prince. “Boy, you better gimme a slice of pizza.”
“Last time I checked, your legs weren’t broken.”
“What you doin’ checkin’ my legs?”
“Well as long as those bitches are, they’re kind of hard to miss,” he winked, finally handing me that coveted piece of the pie. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood today.”
“Yeah, I’m surprised too. This has to be the first time you’ve been in a good mood since… ever.”
‘Cause spending time with you
Well it feels so good, and that’s the truth
“You just make me wanna be a better man, I guess.”
No, don’t say shit like that! “What movie is that from?”
“That is from a movie, isn’t it?”
We took our plates and root beer bottles to the living room and sat down on the hardwood floor. “That’s what I just said.”
“Well who cares. We have some work to do.”
“You know, I think I’m okay with my interviewing skills.”
“How can you be so sure?” he asked, devouring his first slice of pizza.
“Well talking to you everyday is like being on the damn witness stand.”
“Yeah, I guess. As long as you know to speak in whole sentences and tone down the swearing, you should be all right.”
“Shut up,” I smiled, kicking his sock-covered foot. “I’m not as dumb as I look.”
“You don’t look dumb. You are dumb.”
I was about two seconds from throwing my pizza crust at him when he smiled and made it all better. I swear “ it never fails. “I bet you wouldn’t get away with half the shit you say if you didn’t have that face.”
“Well I have it, so get over it.”
And everyday with you
I swear it brings me closer to my only reservation
It’s you, my sweet temptation, baby
“All right, so we’re skipping the interview bullshit, so stop talking and find me some scholarships.”
“I knew you really wanted this,” he said, shifting the scattered papers on the coffee table. “I don’t even know why you tried to argue with me.”
“I still don’t know where I’m gonna find the time to do this, Justin. I have to work.”
“You don’t have to work,” he quipped.
“Are you kidding me? How do you think I’m gonna live if I don’t work.”
“Hey, maybe some handsome, generous Bostonian is willing to help you out.”
My heart is calling
I’m falling for you
“Hey, maybe so. You know someone like that or somethin’?”
“You know, you’re not even close to funny.”
“Yeah, I’m just fuckin’ hilarious,” I cackled, almost spitting out my root beer.
“I guess you are,” he admitted.
“So are you really willing to help me out if I go to law school?”
“I’m sitting here, aren’t I?”
Who could imagine it?
I’d find my happiness in someone I barely know
When I like to take it slow
“When the hell did you become so cool?” I smiled.
“When I entered the world.”
“That must have been right before you woke up, huh?”
“Shut the fuck up and start filling out those applications.”
“Well there are like a hundred pages here. Which ones are we doing?”
“You make everything so difficult,” he stated, sliding the papers out of my reach to his side of the table. He positioned the first application in front of him and began to write. “What’s your middle name?” he suddenly asked.
“How about if I fill it out myself?”
“Stop being stupid. I’m not gonna laugh.”
“No, I think it’s really best if I do this myself.”
“I’m gonna find it out when you write it anyway. Just say it.”
But you’re so different, boy you’re breakin’ all my rules
“It’s Lydia. Now can I have the goddamn paper?”
“No, Lydia. I’m calling the shots here.”
I rolled my eyes and stared at him as he intently filled out my scholarship applications. “You’re an asshole, you know.”
“I’m aware. What’s your social?”
“Justin.”
“Dawn.”
“119. 38. 2093,” I answered sharply. “Please let me do this.”
“What is the big deal? Get off your power trip and let me finish.”
“You know, as much as I like you, I really hate you right now,” I laughed.
What is it in your smile that makes me feel the way that I do?
He grinned absently and continued down the sheet of paper. “You’ve never been married before have you?”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“Because I don’t wanna put the wrong thing under Marital Status.”
“Oh. Um, yeah whatever,” I answered, quickly rising from the floor. I wandered into the kitchen to clear my plate before escaping to the outside terrace that overlooked the city of New York. The chill of the night was beginning to make itself abundantly clear and I regretted not bringing a jacket with me, but I’d suddenly felt the need to get away from the wrath of all those damned questions. I sighed and took in the scenery of the city.
“You know,” I suddenly heard behind me, “if you’re gonna run away, you should at least be smart enough to bring proper attire.” He closed his balcony door and draped one of his shirts over my shoulders.
“Thanks.” I let my arms accept the shirt’s sleeves and eventually began to rub my arms in hopes of warming myself up. “It’s colder than I expected.”
“Well we don’t exactly live in California,” he chuckled. Totally unexpected, he enveloped my waist in his embrace and nuzzled his face into the crevice between my neck and shoulder.
I smiled to myself at his soft, endearing touch, just before a tear left my eye to slide down my cheek. We’ve never had a moment like this. There used to be a time when he wouldn’t even let my hand grace his shoulder. “I guess you’re right,” I finally replied.
I’m tryin’ to live my life, and I’m tryin’ to live it right
If I desire you, well it ain’t because I’m tryin’ to
“Dawn, what’s wrong with you?” he asked, pulling away from me.
“Nothing,” I lied. “I just “ I wish some moments could last forever.”
“You know what I do?”
“What?”
He turned to his right, repositioning me along with him and he stared into the sky towards the Empire State Building. “This sounds corny as fuck, and I don’t tell anyone shit like this, so brace yourself…”
“I’m braced.”
“Well, sometimes, I come out here and look to the Empire State Building and start making wishes. I don’t know why. I guess it just seems like something big enough to make my dreams come true.”
My God. Of all the things he could’ve said, I never would’ve expected that to come out. “That’s beautiful.”
“Well, whatever is bothering you right now “ and I hope you don’t think I’m stupid enough to believe that it’s nothing “ I just want you to believe that you can wish it away.”
“Justin”“
“Don’t argue, Dawn. Just do it.”
I’ve given it consideration
And it all adds up to you
I won’t deny this heart is calling for you, baby
I’ve given it a lot of thought
And it all adds up on you, my sweet temptation
God knows I’m falling for you
After another tear made its presence known, I closed my eyes and envisioned the red, white and blue of New York’s most famous building. I stood there, freezing my ass off, determined not to cry, and tried to wish away my problems. I imagined Justin’s curious, innocent face behind me, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I pondered the catastrophe that I was pulling myself into and perpetuating as the seconds passed. God. I’ve never wanted anything in my life more than I want this. I just “ I wish I weren’t married.
Lyrics: "My Heart Is Calling" - Whitney Houston (Preacher's Wife Soundtrack)
The One At The Club by Ashley
She keeps a toothbrush at my place
As if I have the extra space
She steals my clothes to wear to work
I know “ her hairs are on my shirts
It was an early Friday night in early November when DJ called me up and said that she was bored. I didn't know what to make of that since she always calls me and says she's bored. This evening, however, we decided that we were gonna cure her boredom by going out. I don't know if I'm supposed to call it a date or anything, but that's what it feels like. Before I got dressed, I had been tearing through my closet for hours before finally deciding on something. I don't go to clubs - I don't know what the fuck to wear. Sue me.
Just as I was spraying on the last bit of cologne, my cell phone rang and 'Queen Dawn' popped up. "What?" I answered.
"I'm downstairs. Let's go."
Knowing that cabdrivers have a tendency to leave your ass, I shuffled out of my apartment and downstairs to where DJ stood, halfway out of the car, smiling wildly in her leather jacket, tight ass jeans and high leather boots - the typical Dawn James attire. Before I even began to greet her, she looked at me awkwardly. "What?" I asked, noticing her uneasiness.
"What the fuck are you wearing?"
"Something wrong with my outfit?"
"Everything! You're going to a night club, not a country club!"
"Well we don't have time for me to change," I shot back stubbornly. Personally, I like my sweater and Dickies.
"It's only 10 o'clock. We have plenty of time. We'll just take the subway over," she added, signaling the cab's departure. "I know you have something cooler than that in your closet."
"What if I don't?"
"Well then we'll just stay in and watch movies," she laughed. "I've never been opposed to a Blockbuster night over being embarrassed to be seen with a dork."
We reentered my building and made our way upstairs, attached to one another's side like adjoined twins. As soon as she entered the apartment, she ran up the spiral steps to tear apart my bedroom searching for an outfit. "If you fuck up my room, you're gonna clean it up!" I called up to her.
She responded by throwing a pair of my Diesel Yokees over the balcony. "Put those on!"
"Don't toss my shit around, either!"
"Shut up and get dressed." Seconds later, my black button-down Kenneth Cole came flying over my head, landing on the coffee table. "Put that on, too!"
"Dawn, if you throw something else, I swear to God I'm gonna clock you."
I moved out of the way when I saw black Timberlands flying at me. "You better be dressed when I get down there," she replied.
For whatever reason, I obeyed and quickly replaced my outfit by the time she reached the bottom step. "Oh, hell," I said, seeing her black and white pinstriped blouse. "We're twins."
She looked at my outfit and laughed heartily. "Well at least everyone will know we're together." Walking to the door, she threw my jacket back at me and exited the apartment. "Let's move, homeboy.”
I never liked this Apple much
It always seemed too big to touch
We paraded through the streets of New York as if we owned the damn city. Not even the chill of fall-soon-to-be-winter was going to stop us. We headed straight to Penn Station and took the downtown 1 right to 23rd street. I didn’t know where the hell I was going, but all I need to know was that the name of the place was Suede and that I had DJ by my side to guide me.
I can't remember how I found
My way before she came around
The club, which resembled more of a hole in the wall than anyplace I’d hang out, was packed when we arrived. I’d always heard that this is the city that never sleeps, but never really believed it until now. In fact, it seems like the people in the motherfucker don't even stop to rest their eyes. The very second that we walked in, we were greeted with the typical club stuffiness of marijuana and sweat. Immediately, I was convinced that this isn’t where I wanted to be.
“What’s wrong with you?” DJ asked, throwing her jacket into my arms, trying to be heard over the loud music.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
“What?” she yelled.
“I said, are you sure that this is what you want?”
“Yeah! You don’t?”
“Not really!”
“Why not!”
“Well, I’m not much of a dancer!”
She led me through the moderately-sized club, pushing past people that found the need to dance wherever there was a free space. It was all a big blur to me, but somehow, we landed in the corner just beyond the women’s bathroom. “Okay, now what’s your problem?” she finally asked, quietly.
“I was just saying that this isn’t really my scene.”
“Well besides a baseball game and the New York Stock Exchange, what is your scene?”
I rolled my eyes at her and turned towards the excruciatingly long line of women that was forming just next to us. “What’s your point?”
“The point is that you need to expand your horizons. Loosen up!”
“I want to go home.”
“You’re really not about to stand here and whine about going home, are you? You just got here, Justin.”
“Yeah, and I don’t like it.”
“Give it ten minutes. I promise you, you’ll find some fun if you just lighten up.”
“But Dawn”“
“Here, I’ll take your jacket,” she said, extending her arms to accept both of our coats. “I want you to head to the bar, get something to drink.”
“I don’t wanna drink.”
“Well, shit, Justin. Find some pussy and get the fuck out of my face. Do something with your miserable self.”
“Don’t add insult to injury, here.”
“Don’t ruin this night for us.” She smiled that hundred-watt smile and disappeared into the club’s haze, leaving me to entertain myself.
I tell everyone I smile just because I got a city love
I found it in Lydia
I took her advice and went straight for the one thing that I knew could always put a smile on my face “ alcohol. By the time I reached the bar, I had no earthly idea as to where DJ could have possibly went. But then, by the time I’d downed a couple of shots of vodka, straight up, I honestly didn’t give a fuck.
I made my laps around the crowded club, pretty much eyeing anything in a skirt. My mind told me to go after the pussy, as Dawn so eloquently advised, but my heart told me to back up off the whores.
And I can’t remember life before her name
“Justin!” I heard in the foreground. It’s a common name, I know, but I was positive that it was being directed at me. “Justin!”
I peered in front of me until I finally found the culprit. A redhead of diminutive stature, who could’ve been blonde, deceiving me in the dim atmosphere, was staring back at me. “Do I know you?” I asked.
“You better! It’s Ani!”
“I’m sorry?”
“Ani! We went out last month! How come you never called me, man?”
Oh, so now I’m supposed to call everyone after I fuck ‘em? “I’ve been busy,” I smiled.
She narrowed her light green eyes at me and lightheartedly grinned back. “You want a drink?”
Eh, what the hell. I scanned the crowd quickly for DJ’s short haircut before being led to the bar by Anna. Or was it Dani?
“So what have you been up to?” she yelled, attempting to converse over the loud music.
“Working and shit,” I replied, taking a drink of my Guinness.
She nodded in comprehension and glanced towards the dance floor. “Do you dance, or just hang out at the bar?”
“The bar,” I answered, nervously.
“You’re not willing to give the dancing thing a try?”
“Nope.” I took another swig of beer and immediately ordered another.
“Well what’s the point in getting drunk if random hookups aren’t going to be included?”
I decided that she was right and hopped up from my seat, just as the year’s most popular ‘I-don’t-dance’ tune came blasting through the speakers.
“Yo, my bitches don’t dance. We just pull up our pants and do the rockaway!” I had been on the dance floor all of eight seconds when I recognized Dawn’s loud, intoxicating voice over the entire crowd. “Lean back!” I looked up to find her across the room on one of the couches that decorated the club, a cup in one hand, her other arm draped across the shoulder of some broad shaking their ass in front of her. “Now that’s what the fuck I call a chain reaction!”
I caught her eye and headed straight towards her. When she finally spotted me below her, most of her composure was restored and she hopped down from the sofa happily, swaying back and forth as the song suggested. I followed suit, slightly, doing my best to lean back without looking like an idiot.
“Hey, you!”
“Hey,” I laughed, taking notice of her inebriation.
“Havin’ fun?” she yelled.
“Not really.”
“I saw you at the bar. You’re not fucked up yet?”
“Hardly.”
“Here,” she began, handing me her drink, “take this.”
I looked down at the neon blue substance cautiously. “What is it?”
“Just drink it. You’ll be gone in no time.”
I took the cup, as told, and squinted at the burn of the alcohol against the back of my throat. But by the time it hit my stomach, I knew exactly what she meant. That shit was like a pick-me-up multiplied by a throw-me-the-the-fuck-around. “Dawn, if you’re tryin’ to drug me, I swear to God”“
“Shut the fuck up and dance with me,” she laughed, taking her cup back.
I tried to warn her that I don’t fuckin’ dance. Maybe it was the song. Maybe I was just in a ridiculously good mood, but the Spanish guitar of JC Chasez’s “Like I Love You” came on and I just had to move.
If you smile, then that should set the tone
Just be limber
And if you let go, the music should move your bones
I got behind her, she got in front of me, and the music took over us. We didn’t just lean back. Her ass mimicked the drum’s beat, her body fell into mine, and we became one entity, melting into the music.
Can’t nobody love you like I love ya
You’re a good girl and that’s what makes me trust ya
Late at night, I talk to you
You will know the difference when I touch ya
This is probably the most honest, purest form of fun that I’ve ever had in my life. I could just feel the smile on my face growing wider, turning into random bursts of laughter, expressing just how damn happy I was.
I can make you happy, I can change your life
If you give me that chance to be your man
As the song moved into the bridge, DJ turned to face me, laughing and smiling just as animatedly as I had been. She wrapped her leg around my waist and began grinding harder than she had before, making sure to get more than a rise out of me.
Maybe we’ll fly the night away
“I just wanna love you, baby,” she whispered to me, contrasting the falsetto of the singer’s voice.
Maybe we’ll fly the night away, girl
“I just wanna love you, baby! Yeah, yeah, yeah!” the crowd all sang along, imitating the song’s ad-libs perfectly.
The ‘break it down’ came and Dawn, well… broke it down. It was completely unsolicited and unexpected, but by all means, welcomed. She kissed me. When her lips touched mine, though it wasn’t for very long, it was as though time stood still. I dropped her leg, and cupped her face, understanding what DJ meant when she said that she wished some shit could last forever. The few seconds that our lips touched, I knew nothing outside of the two of us.
She pulled away, smiling sheepishly. She licked her lips, finished off her drink and mouthed the last words of the song. “Now everybody dance.”
And we did.
+++++++++++++++
Friday evening, we’ve been drinking
2AM, I swear, I might propose
We’d flown the night away for hours on the dance floor. We’ engaged in every move I never could’ve thought of, or even imagined myself doing. Then, we finally decided to back off on dancing and retired to one of the empty tables to drink this night to an end. Between vodka and whiskey, wine coolers and Jell-O shots, I really wondered how the hell we were supposed to make it home.
But we close the tab, split a cab
Call each other up when we get home
Apropos of Dawn’s hardly sober point of view, we hailed the first available yellow taxi, and demanded that it take us to Brooklyn first, before dropping me off at my midtown apartment. However, this all only occurred amid our intense make-out sessions from the street to the car, and from Manhattan to Brooklyn.
The second I stepped into my place, at almost 4AM, the ring of my phone scared the shit out of me while making me smile in the same breath. I picked up the receiver, not saying a word.
“Just making sure you got home safely,” she said, sensing my wait for her response. Her voice was thick with fatigue and sounded groggy, but I managed to find it sexy.
“I’m home safely,” I answered, heading up my stairs to sprawl across the bed. I even produced a genuine smile at the fact that she’d dismantled half of my closet when looking for my outfit earlier.
“Did you have fun?” she yawned.
They say yawning is contagious. I believe it now. “Did you?”
Falling asleep to the sound of sirens
“I asked you first.”
“You didn’t have to ask at all,” I replied, yawning yet again.
I got a city love
I found it in Lydia
The next thing I heard was the calm of Dawn’s paced breathing and I smiled again. Not because she fuckin’ fell asleep on me, but because she didn’t mind falling asleep on me. I switched the phone to my left ear so that I could lie on my right side as I always do. “Good night, DJ.” I didn’t hang up, but I left the cordless to rest against my cheek and waited for the serenity of her slumber to put me to sleep.
From the battery to the gallery
It’s the kind of thing you only see in scented, glossy magazines
I’m starting to think that some moments can last forever.
And I can’t remember life before her name
Lyrics: "City Love" - John Mayer (Room for Squares)
"Like I Love You" - Justin Timberlake (Justified)
The One With That Guy by Ashley
“So what are you doing on this lovely Friday night?” I asked, walking up the steps to my brownstone.
Justin sighed lightly as I could hear shuffling in the background. “I have a date-kind-of-thing.”
A pang of jealousy shot through my stomach, but I guess I don’t really have room to talk. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It’s with this girl I was reunited with at Suede last week.”
“So what’s on the agenda? Fuckin’ and a movie?”
He laughed heartily “ genuinely. “No, probably just some dinner. I’m only going because I didn’t call her back after a date or something last month.”
“Ah, a sympathy date.” I smiled all the way up the grueling three-flight walk to the foyer of my apartment, but the grin quickly faded at the sight before me.
“Yeah, something”“ Justin began to reply, but I hung up on him before he had the opportunity to finish.
The sight of Mike’s luggage at the landing of the steps sent my stomach churning and my heart dropping. I turned my phone on silent and placed it on the mail table along with my purse and peered into the living room where the TV was blasting a rerun of Martin. I knocked on the bathroom door, treaded through the dining room and finally made my way to the kitchen where I found my husband at the kitchen counter making a sandwich.
“Hey, Mike,” I said skeptically.
As usual, he didn’t bother to stop and look at me, but greeted me nonetheless. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I live here.”
“Well “ I know that. But I was under the impression that your trip was going to last at least another two weeks.”
“I know I said that, but it turns out we closed the deal early.”
“Oh?”
As he finished slicing his sandwich in half, he finally faced me. “Yeah. So I’m home for the next month or so.”
“Oh...”
“Yeah. I might not be around for Christmas, though. They want me in Tokyo before the New Year.”
Figures. “Oh.”
“So,” he started, walking past me, back into the living room, “where’s Sky?”
I followed after him absently, wandering past the foyer where my phone was blinking incessantly. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Our son? Sky? Where is he?”
“Oh. Um.” I began to scratch my hair in perplexity. My God, I must be the most terrible mother that ever existed. He’s been with the babysitter so much, I don’t even know. “He’s… with “ he’s staying with your mother this weekend.”
“Again? When I talked to her last week, he was with her, too.”
“I know.”
“Dawn, what’s your problem?”
“Nothing. What do you mean?”
“I mean why are you too lazy to take care of our son?”
“I’m not, Michael. I’ve just been busy working.”
“Yes, I’m sure that being a receptionist is very time-consuming.”
“You wanna talk about being consumed by time? When’s the last time you saw this apartment, much less your son?” I yelled.
“At least I have an excuse! I’ve been in Boston. You’ve been sitting your ass in Brooklyn and can’t give him your time!”
“I have a job, too, you know! I can’t take him to school and pick him up and be on time for work!”
“Well there’s no rule that says he has to go to school all the way in fucking Park Slope!”
“I told you that when we enrolled him in that goddamn school!” As the house phone rang loudly amid the chaos of our argument and the television’s commotion, I motioned to answer it before Michael’s hand abrasively stopped me. “Michael, you’re hurting me,” I informed him.
He hesitantly let go and stared at the caller ID. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I answered, sitting down at the edge of one of our two gray loungers.
He picked up the cordless and retreated back to the couch. “J. Timberlake,” he announced, flipping through the received calls. “Have they been calling often?”
“Who?”
“212-673-1454 “ J. Timberlake. Were they calling for me?”
Dammit! All that work erasing his number for nothing. “I’m not sure. How many times is it on there?”
“Just once.”
“I guess that’s it,” I shrugged, settling back into my chair.
“I guess so,” he demurred. He located the remote to flip through channels and started on his sandwich. “It’s relatively early. Maybe we can call my mom, get Sky, and go out tonight.”
Merely to avoid another confrontation, I conceded. “Yeah.”
“You call my mom,” he instructed, “and I’ll get ready to go.”
“Okay.”
“And call Justin back before your cell phone explodes.”
My head shot in his direction before my eyes began to dart around nervously. “What?”
“Don’t play dumb. Just let him know that he can’t be calling you now “ I’m back home.”
Silently, I rose from my seat to call Mrs. Banks “ Michael’s mother “ and tried to mentally prepare for some sort of family night.
All right, so basically, the deal here is that I’m not exactly having a fairy-tale marriage. In fact, I’ve been cringing over this entire ordeal since the day we tied the knot. I’ll be honest “ we only got married because I got pregnant. It’s been six years that Michael and I have been together. Six years that Dawn has been slipping away from me, slowly but surely.
Michael Banks “ big shot accountant for Microsoft. Michael Banks “ too busy for the wife and kid. I used to be in love. When we met in college, I was convinced that Michael was truly made for me. I guess that was before I got to know him. I realized that we were polar opposites, bonding only over the fact that we were natives of the Bronx and had big dreams. But nine months later, it was too late for regrets, too late to turn back time, and too late for dreams to come true “ mine, anyway. Sky was born, and DJ died. I don’t resent anything that happened “ I just wish it could have been postponed sometimes.
Nowadays, I spend most of my time trying to regain some shape of normalcy. I rarely add Banks to my last name. I wear my rings on a necklace underneath my shirts. I never tell anyone I’m married. But hell, my husband is so absent, they’d think I was lying anyway. But Sky, he’s my little secret to instantaneous happiness… when he’s here. We have a babysitter here to help me out during the week when Michael’s gone on business. But in the past month or so, I’ve been neglectful, putting him off on either my or Mike’s parents. I know. I haven’t been the mother that I could or should be. There’s just so much that I feel I missed out on with this unplanned family deal. Justin has allowed me to live outside of that for a while. Justin. My God, what am I going to do about Justin?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The 7PM hour had come and was reaching its halfway mark when Michael, Sky, and I were retreating from Toys ‘R’ Us in Times Square, bags in hand, heading for the famed Bubba Gump’s Restaurant just across from MTV Studios.
Weekends in Times Square are always a bitch “ especially this damn restaurant. But Sky is adamant about running with Forrest, and at the very least, he deserves to eat with his family wherever he wants. However, the entrance was wall-to-wall packed. By the time we even reached the hostess stand where a ‘Miss Michelle’ stood to greet customers, an extra ten minutes had been added to our wait.
Just when we’d decided to browse the neighboring GAP to pass the time of the 50-minute delay, we were met with the fall of rain. We hadn’t anticipated precipitation, so umbrellas were certainly the last things in our possession. “Oh, this is just perfect,” Michael mumbled.
I pulled out a few crumpled dollars from my jean pocket and handed them to him. “Why don’t you run outside and get us a couple of umbrellas?”
“Perhaps you didn’t notice, Dawn, but it’s raining outside!”
“I’m not asking you to run to 44th Street. Just go to the corner!”
“Don’t yell at me, Dawn!”
“Then you stop yelling at me!”
“Dawn!”
“Okay,” I relented. “I’ll go get the umbrellas.”
Michael took hold of Sky’s hand, directing him towards the souvenir shop of the restaurant. “We’ll be over here,” he finished.
I bucked up, preparing to head into the cold rain, preparing to ruin my hair, and preparing for an insanely long night. I turned numerous times just trying to locate the exit amongst the crowd. Then, just when I thought that this night couldn’t get any worse, the familiar head of a tall guy with thick, curly hair came shoving through the crowd. He was facing the direction about 90º opposite of me, but if he turned back around, I’d be the first thing he’d see. I watched him cautiously, and it was as if time were moving in slow motion when I saw his face gradually spin back towards me. Immediately, I followed my first instinct and dropped to the floor.
Crouching, I prayed that no one above me would get the urge to ask any questions. This astounding feeling of guilt washed over me when Justin’s feet, covered in dark gray Nikes, went inching past me, but I just couldn’t let him see me “ I’m not ready to tackle that surefire catastrophe quite yet. When I heard his loud, overbearing voice requesting a table for two, I finally returned to my normal 5’9 stance.
“What are you doing?”
My heart leaped out of my chest at the boom of Michael’s voice behind me. “What?”
My six-year-old looked up to me in bewilderment, almost breaking my heart. “Why were you on the floor, mommy?”
“Well, because I dropped a little bit of my money and I was trying to find it,” I answered softly. I winced at the notion of lying to my son.
Michael threw another dollar at me and rushed me out of the restaurant. “Hurry up. I can’t stand around here for an hour.” I glanced back to where Justin and his date stood, seemingly impatiently. Yeah, me neither, Mike.
I rushed through the rain to the corner of 42nd and 7th Avenue where the vendors always set up shop. I purchased two umbrellas for two dollars and immediately headed back for the restaurant. I took three steps before walking into the long arms and strong chest of… “Justin?”
He looked down at me in puzzlement, probably expecting to see one of his whores. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he smiled.
I put up my umbrella to shield us both from the relentless rain and nervously smiled up to him. “I was just on my way “ um “ I was going over to Cold Stone.” Yeah. That’s good.
“For ice cream?”
Uh. Sure. “Yeah.”
“DJ, it’s freezing out here.”
“Well I don’t think so,” I replied, trying my best not to shiver.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“No reason, I guess. I got worried when you didn’t call me back. Who are you with?”
What? Why is he asking me this? “No one?”
He frowned at me and looked towards the ground. “So do you always walk around with two umbrellas?”
“Oh,” I chuckled. “They were a dollar, so I figured ‘What the hell?’”
“Yeah.”
We stared at one another quizzically before a passerby slightly knocked me into him, breaking our gaze. “So,” I finally began, “what are you up to?”
“Oh, me and Ani are waiting for a table at Bubba Gump’s.”
“Long wait, huh?”
He rolled his eyes knowingly. “Half an hour.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, I was actually on my way to buy an umbrella,” he added.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to stop you…” God, this is awkward.
“No, I was “ since, you know, you have an extra one, you could save me a dollar and a walk.”
Damn it, Justin. I need it. “Oh, no please. Take it.”
He made a motion to kiss me, but I painfully turned my head so that his lips landed on my cheek. “What’s with you?”
“Nothing,” I smiled, returning the kiss to his opposing cheek. I just ate a burger “ with onions. That’s all.”
“All right. Well, I’ll call you when I get in.”
“No!” Ahh. Dawn, calm the hell down. “I mean, I’ll call you.”
“But you don’t know when I’ll be home.”
I sighed heavily, avoiding the temptation to start bawling and telling him everything right then and there. “Just let me call you, okay?”
He smiled comfortingly and walked back in the direction of the restaurant, me following somberly behind.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“Good evening, my name is Beyoncè, and I’ll be your server tonight,” our curvaceous blonde waitress began.
I looked at Michael, hoping to share a chuckle with him about her ridiculous name, but realizing that he wasn’t Justin, I returned my attention to the server and her spiel about the restaurant’s method of operations. Eventually, she shut up and we placed our orders, gazing impatiently at the scenery to pass the time. We had already conversed as a family on the subway ride into the city, so dialogue between the three of us was limited.
More out of boredom than necessity, I suddenly announced, “I think I’m gonna go to the ladies’ room.”
“Do you really have to think about it?” Michael quipped, sarcastically.
“Sky, are you all right, baby? You don’t have to go, do you?” He shook his head No, taking gulps of his Coke and playing with the ‘Run/Stop Forrest’ sign at the head of the table. “Mike, could you make sure that he doesn’t drink his whole soda before the food gets here.”
“Go to the bathroom,” he answered.
As always, I obliged. Our table was at the end of the restaurant where the restrooms weren’t, which meant that I had to vigilantly trek past every patron in the place to be able to escape just half of what I‘d been dreading about this evening. The other half sat at the table perpendicular to the bathroom entrance.
Justin’s facial expression exhibited something a little past boredom, which almost made me smile, before I realized that I’d soon be approaching him if I didn’t find a detour. The fact was, there was no way around passing him. So I licked my lips nervously and sauntered towards the facilities, hoping for a miracle.
“DJ?” he said with inquiry in his tone.
I jerked my head towards his voice and acted as if I were shocked. “Hey, Justin.”
“What are you doing here,” he asked for the second time tonight.
“I’m having dinner.”
“I thought you said you were alone.”
“Oh, yes. I am. Alone.”
He gave his date a polite, pleading smile. “Would you mind if she joined us, Ani?”
“No! Justin, please. I don’t want to interrupt.”
“You wouldn’t be interrupting,” he contested. “I wouldn’t feel right knowing that you’re eating alone.”
“Justin, you’re on a date.”
“It’s not a date. Ani, you don’t mind, do you?”
“Well actually ““ the date began to say.
“Ani, I’m so sorry,” I interjected. “Please, Justin, I’m gonna go on my way.”
“Dawn, you can’t eat by yourself.”
“Why not?”
“Because”“
“I just wanna take my shrimp plate and go home,” I replied, beginning to plead with him. I absolutely refuse to spend this night like Mrs. Doubtfire.
Suddenly, their waitress, whose name appeared to be ‘Kelly R.’ came walking up to the table and its ensuing chaos. “Is there a problem?” she questioned in a thick, southern accent.
“Not at all,” I answered. “I was just on my way to the restroom when I spotted my friend here.”
“Yes,” Justin added, “and she’ll be joining us, so could you get her some silverware for when she comes back?”
“No, that won’t be necessary. I have a table over in Bianca’s station, so I’ll be getting back there now.” I smiled at Kelly and then at Ani, desperately trying to avoid Justin’s glare and spun on my heel to go back to my family.
“I’m calling you when I get home,” Justin yelled to my back.
Now what am I supposed to do when I want you in my world?
How can I want you for myself when I’m already someone’s girl?
God, just make this madness stop! I’m driving myself half crazy trying to make it through this night, not to mention life, without being thrown off the trail by overwhelming guilt or embarrassment. Before last week, everything was fine “ I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Justin was my friend and if I liked him a little more than that, so be it. But last Friday, we kissed, my stomach gave off a butterfly effect, and I knew that things would never be the same. I knew that I was falling, and soon, I’d need someone to catch me. I’d need Justin to catch me. But after all is said and done, the biggest question will be, will he even want to?
I guess I’ll see you next lifetime
Lyrics: “Next Lifetime” “ Erykah Badu (Baduizm)
The One Where They… Well… Just Read by Ashley
The very same weekend that I’d seen DJ in Times Square acting like a total idiot, I decided that we needed some quality time to concentrate on her school shit. At the very least, I needed her to act like she was interested.
It was a fairly warm and sunny Sunday afternoon when Dawn and I were perched on the floor at the opening of my balcony door, reading through the piles of interview guides, law school instruction manuals, and the most important documentation of all “ the sports section. So there was no baseball to look forward to “ the Patriots have been kicking NY Giant ass.
Night was slowly approaching and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one that was bored to death with skimming though all these lame books. As the coldness of the November evening began to put a chill on the apartment, I watched as Dawn suddenly rose from the floor, shut the terrace door, ran upstairs to belligerently steal one of my sweatshirts and trample back down here to reassume her cross-legged form on the hardwood floor across from me. I gazed at her amongst her chaos up until she finally stopped, sighing, and leaned against the dim glass of the balcony’s sliding portal.
“I’m hungry,” she abruptly announced.
I didn’t realize that we’d been sitting there for hours and had consumed nothing but random handfuls of Wheat Thins and sips of Cherry Coke. “Well we have our usual choices of Chinese and Italian,” I beamed.
“Eh.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I want something new.”
“Does Sylvia’s deliver?”
She grabbed my wrist and glanced at my watch, scoffing. “Not at all. And they’re not even open this late on Sunday for pickup.”
“Well damn, isn’t Sunday night supposed to be soul food night?”
“Yeah, that’s when people make their shit at home,” she laughed.
“Well I guess that’s out ‘cause I can’t cook to save my life.”
“Well”“
“And I know you can’t do shit in the kitchen,” I added.
“And just how do you know that?” she said loudly.
“For Christ’s sake, Dawn, you couldn’t even turn on the oven.”
“It’s a very technologically advanced oven! At my house, you turn a knob to the temperature you want. I don’t have all those buttons and digital numbers to fuck with.”
“Oh, yeah like you really use your oven,” I smirked. “Try again.”
“Fuck you!”
“Gladly.”
“Grow up,” she quipped, rolling her eyes and rising from the floor once again. “And gimme some money.”
“Nah, I’m not falling for that shit again. You gotta fuck me first.”
“You’re gross.” She held out her hand to me, presumably waiting for money for some cause unbeknownst to me. Instead, I planned to use it as leverage for assistance from my seat on the floor. “Try again,” she laughed, snatching her hand from my grasp. We both cackled enthusiastically when I fell back to the floor landing on my ass, right where I started.
“I really ought to kick your ass,” I informed her, sprawling out across the floor.
She moved towards me so that her tall form towered over my flat one. “Give. Me. Some money.”
“Give me some help.” I waited for her to offer her genuine assistance while she simply stared down at me, grinning gleefully. “Dawn, help me off the floor.”
“Just so you can pull me down with you? I’m thinking, no,” she responded, beginning to walk away.
Before she could move totally out of my grasp, I took notice of her bare feet that were positioned about two inches from my hand. Just as she picked up her left foot to turn, I grabbed it, sending her crashing to the floor on top of me.
Once our second consecutive laugh at the near identical incident subsided, she resolved to kick me in amusement and then roll over me to claim her own position on the hard floor. “You’re a wicked moron,” she proclaimed, imitating the proud people of Boston and its boastful SNL sketch.
“You are,” I shot back. We somehow resisted the urge to pull a Sully and Diane, but we did manage to stare at one another longer than we should have.
“So seriously, Justin, I wanted to go to the supermarket and buy some shit for dinner, so if you could dish out some dollars…”
I suddenly got the inspiration to up the ante on DJ and mock the New York dialect. “Yo, that’s mad shady, son. How you tryin’ to play me like that, mami?”
I’ll admit that I was proud of myself when Dawn positively cracked up. That’s really the first time I’ve ever seen someone literally roll on the floor with laughter. “I guess I’ll just have to remember that I stahted this, eh?”
“Yo, it’s all good, son. Nothin’ but love.”
We continued to laugh our way out of the apartment and over to Food Emporium to do some much-needed grocery shopping. I swear, searching for eggs, milk and cheese has never been so much fun. When we finally returned to my place, arms worn out from toting heavy bags, we were still full of laughter.
We’d unloaded the five or six full bags when I stood back and watched in confusion as she bustled through the kitchen cabinets for only God knows what. “Dawn, would you like to inform me of what you’re about to pretend you know how to make?”
“Yeah, sure,” she replied, still moving. “We’re making fried catfish, coleslaw and hushpuppies.”
We who? “You’re kidding, right?”
“Not at all.”
“DJ, you were born and bred in the South Bronx, not South Georgia. What do you think you’re doing?”
“Bitch, I know how to cook.” She pulled my sweatshirt from over her own shirt and began to wash her hands. “Now get over here and start cleaning this fish.”
Is she out of her goddamn mind? I’m not touching some dead fish. “Dawn, I don’t think I should be a part this.”
She glared at me, sprayed some water in my direction, and proceeded to pull pots and pans from the wall-mount. “That’s cool. I thought you were hungry, but I guess I’ll be the only one eating tonight, huh?”
Well, fuck. I guess Queen Dawn has spoken. Silently, I pulled the package of catfish fillets from the island counter and brought them with me to the sink. At the slowest possible pace, one by one, I removed the slices of fish and rinsed them in disgust. Eventually, my very own kitchen’s aroma resembled that of Sylvia’s, and more than that, I was incredibly surprised, and at the same time, proud to have had a part in that. Under DJ’s strict instruction, I’d cleaned and seasoned the fish, chopped cabbage and carrots into pieces so small, they were nearing invisibility, and I even fried up a few rolls of cornbread.
What was supposed to be a study-session kind of thing turned into, as much as I really hate to admit it, a romantic dinner for two. The food may not have been better than Sylvia’s, but the aura certainly was. We did it Japanese style “ sitting on the floor at the coffee table and barefoot “ watching a rerun of Inside The Actor’s Studio “ the one with Jennifer Lopez. We sat in amazement, fascinated by her answers. She’s so damn smart, man.
“I remember her when she was just Jenny from the block,” Dawn commented evenly.
“What?”
“What?”
“Who?” I asked.
“Jennifer Lopez. I grew up around the corner from her.”
“You’re shittin’ me.”
“Oh, I shit you not. We all went to P.S. 122 together.”
“You liar.”
“What? I can’t be childhood friends with an Oscar-winning actress?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. But I mean, it’s Jennifer Lopez.”
“And?”
“And so she’s so ““
“She’s just Jenny from the block,” she repeated.
“I got it, Dawn. Jenny from the block. Go write a song about it.”
“Yo, what’s with the attitude?”
As the credits rolled down the screen, I hopped up from the floor, taking the empty dishes with me. “I don’t have one. Now get your ass up and clean my kitchen.”
“Come on,” she groaned. “No more work.”
I laughed at her feigned fatigue and kicked her backside, waiting for her to get up. “Yo, you best to raise up, son.”
Cackling, she finally relented and picked herself up from the floor to bring the empty Kool-Aid jug and glasses to the kitchen. “You wash, I’ll dry?” she asked hopefully.
“Try again,” I said.
“Fine. I’ll dry, you wash.”
“Deal.” I looked at her carefully as she snickered and moved out of the way of the sink, grabbing a dishtowel and staring at me. “Dawn, what the fuck are you doing?”
“We agreed that you’d wash and I’d dry.”
“No we didn’t.”
“Yes we did,” she smiled.
“No. You just said, and I quote, ‘I’ll dry, you”“ I paused when realization hit me like a fuckin’ big red brick. “You tricked me.”
“Now Justin, we spent all afternoon reading about this “ what’s the first rule in litigation?”
“Pay attention to detail,” I answered slowly, sounding like a recording.
“So get to washin’, homeboy.”
Heh, that’s supposed to be some shit I’d pull on her. “When I come to your house, I’m gonna fuck up your kitchen and then make you clean the shit up.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she replied, awkwardly chuckling.
I watched indulgently as she sauntered out of the kitchen area before I turned on the water. It wasn’t long before the sound of the television was gone and the beats of The Love Below echoed throughout the apartment.
I hope that you’re the one
If not, you are the prototype
I smiled at the words to the song, despite the fact that I was stuck washing a pile of fucking dirty dishes. In some way, I guess it’s a small price to pay for such a perfect dinner.
I think I’m in love…again
After a few minutes of me acting like I was working, DJ finally made her reappearance into the kitchen to commence her coveted task of drying these shits. “I think it’s only fair that you warn me of the repercussions before you volunteer my kitchen for something like this.”
She looked at me and playfully shook her head in pity. “Justin, I swear if you don’t quit complaining.”
“It was a lot of fuckin’ dishes!” I whined.
“And you’re almost completely finished.”
“But still. It’s… the principle.”
“The principle is that you’re a lazy motherfucker and you need to quit complaining.” We stood at the sink a little while longer, resembling a happily married couple before Dawn got sick of my pouting and gave in “ just as the wife always should. “Okay, you big ass baby.”
“What?” I asked.
“Get out.” She used her hips to bump me out of the way without having to utilize her wet hands and willed me out of the kitchen. “I’ll finish.”
I looked down at her in surprise, pretending that I didn’t understand what was going on. “But what did I do?”
“Just get out,” she repeated.
I strutted out in satisfaction, smugly ecstatic that I’d essentially won. I sat in the living room, enjoying the music and listening to the sound of the water running with the clank of cookware being thrown around.
It wasn’t long before I got bored and the urge to bother Dawn struck me again. I headed right back for the kitchen, created a seat on the counter behind the sink and decided to study her every move “ the contraction of her shoulders every time her arms reached for a dish; the curve of her long bowlegs through her drawstring pants; the beautiful contrast of the light brown highlights in her dark brown hair. Everything.
Either my nerve, which I have a lot of, or my nerves, which are nearing a deficit in my stream of consciousness, got the best of me, but something within me quelled, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. Just… watching was making me crazy. “Hey,” I declared, causing her to jump.
“I thought I told you to get out, bitch.”
“Turn around.”
“Justin, unless you wanna finish the kitchen duty, I suggest you leave me the hell alone.”
Okay, that’s it. I jumped down from the counter and walked up to Dawn where she stood at the sink.
“Boy, you best to back up,” she maintained, still shuffling dishes.
I emphatically turned off the running water from behind her, and before she could protest, I placed my lips along her jawline, subliminally smiling at the fact that my touch turned her into butter on a hot knife. My arms snuck around her waist and her whole body relaxed into mine at the sense of my one hot breath against her cheek.
“What are you doing?” she asked softly.
Between kisses against her neck, I replied, “I’m falling in love.”
“Justin,” she started, attempting to pull me out of my fantasy, “we have to talk.”
“Later. Just live with me in this moment with you. Because it’s not gonna last forever.”
She eventually turned around to face me and let her eyes fall shut with a closed-mouth smile. “You amaze me,” she replied, slowly reopening her chocolate orbs.
“Well I’ve been trying to impress you for weeks now.”
A heartfelt smile overtook her face and she tilted her head to the right to stare at me. “What do you want from me, Mr. Timberlake?”
“Well, Miss James, I don’t want anything from you. I just want you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I wanna feel you. I wanna taste you. I wanna see you.”
Baby take off your cool. I wanna see you.
Baby, don’t be so cool. I wanna see you.
Baby, take off your cool. I want to get to know you.
“When’d you get so cool?” she beamed.
“When I met you,” I answered without a second thought. For the first time ever in my life, I discovered a feeling of authentic adulation for a woman that made me want to kiss her because of something more than a physical connection. It’s true what I said, too. Yeah, our first meeting started off with an argument, but it’s what sent my head spinning, and it hasn’t stopped since then, either.
In the midst of my daydreaming, the touch of Dawn’s lips once again, took me by total surprise. She’d taken my hand into her grasp and helped them encounter her mouth. Intertwining her fingers with mine, she delicately kissed each of them and brought hers up to me to do the same. “See me, Justin.” She sensually rolled my entire hand over her lips, letting them caress her elegant face and linger over her neck. “And make it last forever.”
There is only one for me
You have made that a possibility
We can take that step to see if this is really gonna be
All you gotta do is say yes
She allowed me to let go of her hand and hold on to her waist again, slowly tasting her lips. There were remnants of strawberry Kool-Aid on them, making me want to laugh, but the overwhelming feeling of joy that found me hedged that urge. My lips moved away from hers and towards her stunning brown skin, exploring the depths of the clefts of her neck and shoulders while she did the same to me.
We only pulled apart to remove her shirt and mine before continuing to explore one another’s bodies with our tongues. I picked her up by the base of her hips, turning around and tenderly placed her on the counter behind us, not wanting to break contact with her skin. I rolled my lips across her bare, taut stomach while her presence was felt on my naked back.
All you gotta do is say yes
Don’t deny what you feel, let me undress you, baby
Open up your mind, just rest
No words were uttered between us at this point “ simply raw emotion. My lips explored her torso, my nose engaged in her delectable vanilla scent, and when her smooth, soft skin came into contact with mine, it were as though I’d been thrust into complete reverie. I was entering a stage of total utopia, and I wasn’t willing to exit without her.
She closed her eyes again and I knew she felt the same. We both allowed our other four senses to take control, seeing through touch, feeling through smell, hearing through taste. The beauty of the moment was tremendous. I never knew that one person could elicit so much unadulterated sentiment from another one. But I thought about how much Dawn had shown me; how much of herself she’d given before I was even willing to let her in. I realized just how perfect a moment we were in, and I knew that it didn’t need to last forever.
Loving you has taken time
But I always knew you could be mine
This amazing array of thoughts came crashing through to my brain, and as I stood in front of her, kissing every inch of her, removing her bra strap from her shoulder to experience the full effect of her unmitigated nakedness, I opened my eyes to see a teardrop fall from one of them. It raced from my eye, quickly, in some sort of perfected solitude. I didn’t bother to wipe it away, though. I’ve been devoid of emotion for too long now, and if there’s anyone that I’d allow to recognize it, it would be Dawn.
I recognize the butterflies inside me
Eventually, Dawn had her legs wrapped around my waist and had pushed my sweatpants down with her toes. Now I’ve done this plenty of times before, but never once has a woman managed to undress me with her feet “ just another example of how I continue to be amazed by this woman. In the meantime, I’d rolled her oversized pants down her hips and fingered them off of her ankles as I continued to kiss her.
Sense is gonna be made tonight
My lips seemed to unearth parts of her perfect body that shouldn’t even be allowed to exist. I traveled from the ins and outs of her thighs, up past her navel and to the valley between her breasts. I finally landed back at her lips, taking an immense amount of pleasure in their lusciousness. I shut my eyes again, and indulged in the sensation of her pussy, perfectly hot and wet, contracting over my dick in an exact fit. She wrapped her arms around the back of my neck and moaned in delight at every motion. I rolled my hips into her, completing a rotation of rapture with every thrust, continuing to taste her skin in any opportune moment. Her warm breath against the side of my face coerced me to quicken my steady pace and sent her sensual moaning into overdrive.
Soon, the whole experience became too brilliantly stimulating for words to describe, but I found that it was becoming something more than my heart could handle. I never considered sex to be any kind of life-altering course of events. It was always… just sex. But as Dawn has shown me, life is never just anything “ particularly when it comes to her.
I’m about to let you know…
The physical ecstasy began to dwindle as both of us found fulfillment in the exchange almost in unison, but I knew that the extent of my emotional bliss had just begun. I opened my eyes to the most gorgeous company to ever stumble upon my world. I stared at her immaculate chocolate coffee face, wishing I could just inhale her breathtaking aura. I internally smiled at the fact that tears were streaming down her face. I internally smiled at the notion that we could make us cry. And ultimately, I externally smiled at the thought of the splendor that we’d just shared. Shit, Dawn, I’m pretty sure you just stole my heart. And the funny thing is, I don’t want it back.
Lyrics: “Protoype” “ Outkast (The Love Below)
“Take Off Your Cool” “ Outkast ft. Norah Jones (The Love Below)
“Say Yes” “ Floetry (Floetic)
The One With The Confession by Ashley
Remember when we never needed each other?
Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long, and I need your touch
Don’t know what to say “ never meant to feel this way
What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
I don’t know how I ended up here. I don’t know what happened. I can’t think of the moment that Justin and I became so close that I couldn’t detach myself from him, but somewhere along the line, I began hating to love what I used to love hating. He saved me from something I didn’t even know I needed refuge of “ myself.
It’s been a few hours since Justin and I had sex. Afterwards, things between us weren’t as awkward as they should have been, but an insane amount of remorse swept over me, and it took all I had in me to not jump off of his balcony in shame. I mean, he cried. Justin Timberlake cried. I’ve never seen a man shed a tear over anything that I’ve done to, for, or with them, but he did. I told him that he amazed me, not even fully understanding the heights of just how incredible he really was.
We’re laid in his bed now, me under the pretense that I’ve been asleep for the past four hours. It’s dark in here, so I can’t see his resting form, but I can hear the rhythm of his breathing, accompanied by an ever-so-slight snore. His arm is draped protectively over my stomach area and I could feel the warmth of his fingers radiating through my t-shirt. Meanwhile, my heart is beating out of its chest and I’m wondering how he can sleep through that chaos. I certainly can’t. I’ve been wide awake since my body hit the mattress.
Eventually, it just got to be too much for me. I couldn’t lay there in complete misery, knowing that this secret I was harboring contained such a painful result for the beautiful man next to me. As quietly as I could, I slid out of Justin’s arms and from the huge bed in hopes of retrieving my clothes and essentially finding my way home before having to be at work in a few hours.
Justin, however, a much lighter sleeper than he let on, focused on me as soon as he felt the bed shift. “What are you doing?” he asked tranquilly.
“I have to get home,” I answered, searching the dark room for my pants.
He groaned in weariness, his eyes closed, and yawned. “What are you talking about?”
“I have to get home and get ready for work.”
“Don’t go in.”
“I have to “ I’m running low on sick days for the year.”
“It’s November. How many more could you need?”
“Justin.”
“You can use one of mine,” he whispered back, rolling over to his stomach. “Just come back to bed.”
“I really do have to go.”
There was shuffling behind me before Justin turned on the television to serve as light in the dark room. “Dawn, it’s a quarter to 5AM. You can’t go anywhere this early.”
“I have to.”
“No, you don’t. I can easily run over to Macy’s and get you some shit to wear to work.”
“They don’t open till 10:00.”
“We’ll break in,” he quipped. I could hear him smiling in his words. “Dawn, I don’t want you to leave.”
“I have to. I promised Sky’s mother that I would take him to school,” I lied.
“That kid from the Boys and Girls Club?” I didn’t answer, but continued to fumble through his bedroom, looking for shit that wasn’t there. “DJ, he’s not your responsibility, and I didn’t want to say it, but I think you invest too much of your time and money into him. I know you love him, but for God’s sake, he’s not your son.”
God, Justin, if you only knew. “He is,” I said lowly, halfway praying that he didn’t hear me.
There wasn’t even a hint of a pause between us before Justin said, “What?”
I sighed and bit at my bottom lip wondering if this was when and how I wanted to tell him. “He is my son.”
“I’m sorry, but it sounds like you’re saying he’s your son. Speak up.”
I grimaced internally at having to repeat myself over and over again. “Sky is my son, Justin.”
There was a slight hush between us before I heard a thud in the darkness. I turned my head just in time to see Justin redeeming his fall from his bed to the floor. I immediately rushed to his side in concern. “Are you all right?”
He kept his head lowered, most likely to avoid my gaze, and shrugged my touch away. “Yeah. Just back off, all right?”
“Well, let me at least help you from”“
“Just don’t touch me!”
God, not this again. Shocked and discouraged, I moved away from him and walked to the other side of the TV where my shoes sat. The eeriness of the silence between us was deafening. Instead of enduring it, my cowardice made me want to escape, so I headed for the spiral steps, driving myself crazy with wonderment of what he was thinking.
I’d gotten to the second step when his voice softly streamed through my line of hearing. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I looked back in his direction where I saw him perched at the edge of his bed, still peering at the floor. “Why’d you lie?”
I sighed and took a seat on the top step. “I don’t know,” I lied again. God, stop lying you stupid bitch! “I didn’t want you to start asking questions.”
“What? Did you think I was too immature to handle you having a son? Or that I’d think less of you because you had a kid out of wedlock? It’s 2004. Give me a little credit here, Dawn.”
“That’s not why”“ I interrupted. “I just didn’t want”“
“You thought I was too shallow to wanna deal with you and a kid?”
“No, Justin! I just”“
“Well then what!”
“I’m married!”
The way he blinked at those staggering words, I knew that I’d just shattered his heart, his pride, and any other internal intricacies that are fragile and meant to be handled with care. I could see his eyes slicing through the dimness. What was once a warm, inviting sapphire color quickly turned to a distant, cloudy navy blue, much like the midnight sky on a cold winter night.
“Justin, I’m so sor”“
“Get out,” he said firmly.
“Please,” I began, rising from the steps, “just let me explain.”
“Get out,” he repeated. He didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t look in my direction anymore. He didn’t blink. If it hadn’t been so quiet, I wouldn’t have even thought he was breathing. It was like he’d been paralyzed and couldn’t bring himself to do anything but gaze at the images on the television screen dancing in front of him.
I stood there momentarily, hoping he’d say something else, thereby forcing me to stay and respond. But in the short time that I’ve known Justin, I’ve learned that when he says something, he means it. So as he sat there muted, I thought it best to get my shit and disappear into the obscurity of the early morning.
It wasn’t long after I made my way downstairs, looking for my jacket and keys, when I heard a slight whimper amid the hush of the apartment. It was directly followed by a sniffle. I then began to imagine the heartbreaking sound of his tears dropping to the floor, because, as unbelievable as it was, Justin Timberlake was crying. Again.
The unbearable sound sent me out of the apartment faster than I would have left had I not known that he was in such a shambles, but the last thing I was going to do was leave. I walked out of apartment 3C and settled into the lush carpet of the hallway outside Justin’s place. I wasn’t going to lift a limb from the floor until I could talk to him. Unfortunately, his door was in the middle of the hall, so my pitiful self is the first thing people will have to step over on their way to work, but I don’t care. I rested my head against the wall behind me, brought my knees to my chest, and I waited.
Just as I anticipated, the neighbors retreated from their respective apartments, glancing at me awkwardly, and trying to make casual conversation. That’s one thing I love about New York “ everything is so diverse. Some people can find anything to talk to you about. Other people will walk right into your ass like you’re half past invisible. This morning, I’ve experienced both.
Ironically enough, the one person that I do know in this building is the one whose reaction was the most aloof. Justin came out of his apartment “ like clockwork “ at 8AM, dressed in his gray suit and red tie. He took a short glance down at me, rolled his eyes, shook his head, and went on his damn way.
I don’t know why I expected this to be that simple. I hurt him, I know. Hell, I hurt me. But it’s not so cut and dry. There’s no Sky with a bruise for Mommy to make all better. This is Justin with a wound the size of Texas that Dawn just doesn’t know how to fix. Someone should really consider inventing Band-aids for broken hearts.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It seemed like days were passing as I sat in that hallway. I ended up pulling out my cell phone every three minutes to check how slowly time had been crawling by. I don’t know how it is that I survived the day. By 2:00, I was wishing I’d taken some of those leftovers from dinner last night. But what I did know is that Justin was worth the wait, so I was relieved when 6PM was approaching, meaning he’d be getting home any minute.
Or not. It was close to 9:00 when Justin came sauntering down the hall with his usual cocky swagger. He didn’t look a bit of hurt when he approached his door, still finding some way to ignore my presence. I’ve been sitting here for fifteen goddamn hours! That deserves at least a second glance.
He walked in and didn’t resurface for another half hour. See, it’s shit like this that makes me wanna give up on the motherfucker. He opened the door with his basket full of laundry and stepped over me for the third time today. This time, though, I knew he was doing it because he wanted to and not because he had to. He knew that he’d open the door to see me still sitting there. So I decided that if he was going to ignore me, I could do the same to him. I got up and followed him onto the elevator and down to the basement where the laundry room was.
I watched from the entrance as he piled his collection of red, white and gray shit into the washing machines, insert his quarters, and pour the washing powder over his clothes. Being the confrontational dick that he sometimes is, he turned and pushed past me to leave the laundry room and, instead of utilizing the elevators, braved the six-flight walk to the third floor. Yes, right on the back of his heels, I followed.
We got to his door, and just as I expected, he slammed the door in my face. But I took a shot in the dark having not heard the lock of the door turn, and I walked my ass in there like I owned the joint.
“How come you didn’t lock it?” I asked, following him on his path to the living room.
He didn’t answer, but turned on his stereo to blast some Jay-Z. As luck would have it, he chose “99 Problems.” Bastard.
“Justin, please talk to me,” I beseeched.
“You have nothing to say to me,” he replied, staring blankly at the balcony.
Well… he’s right. I have nothing but a lame-ass apology. I closed my eyes, waiting for something more plausible to find my brain. This is Justin. ‘I’m sorry’ just isn’t gonna cut it here. Still, my inexplicable sorrow could only muster up those two words. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry for lying to you about Sky. I’m sorry for not telling you about “ about him.” I couldn’t bring my lips to release Michael’s name in front of Justin. “I’m sorry for being married and falling in love with you.”
“Why?” he asked, finally turning off the stereo.
I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
“Because I wasn’t trying to hurt you here.” I didn’t mean to fall.
“So what were you trying to do? Just get some dick on the side?”
“No! I was just “ I… don’t know. I wasn’t trying to do anything. I”“
“Let me guess. You just wanted a friend, right? Why’d it have to be me?”
Those notorious motherfuckers that we call tears were welling up in my eyes and I knew I was on the verge of breaking. My bottom lip quivered at the plethora of thoughts running in and out of my mind. “I wanted to know you. I didn’t wake up one day and say, ‘Hey, I’m gonna go make a friend while my husband is gone for the nineteenth time this year.’ It was you.”
“But why!”
“I don’t know!” I yelled as a tear rushed down my cheek. “You threw me for a loop with your Boston fan bullshit and your chauvinism. I saw something there that made me want to know more.”
But I continue learning
He nodded calmly and frowned at the floor. “I hate you for this.”
“I know. And I’m so sorry.”
I never meant to do those things to you
“Do me a favor and stop with the apologizing. That shit doesn’t fix a goddamn thing.”
“I know,” I repeated softly.
“Goddamn it, Dawn! How fucking dare you! How dare you do this to me! What gave you the right to break into my life and make me love you! You’re married, Dawn.”
I’m sorry that I hurt you
“Please just know that everything I’ve ever felt for you is genuine.”
“No! fuck that. You can’t feel anything for me. You’re married with a kid and that’s it. It stops there.”
It’s something I must live with everyday
“I can’t just cut off my emotions.”
“You have to. I’m not dealing with this.”
“Justin.”
“God, Dawn, I hate you! We had sex for Christ’s sake!”
I closed my eyes and let last night replay in my heart. “I just wanted some happiness, Justin. And you gave me that “ something that I haven’t had in years.”
“You don’t get it, do you? I may be a lot of shit, but I’m not a goddamn liar and I’m not some kind of fucked up homewrecker. That’s what you’ve turned me into.”
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
“No, Justin. My home was already fucked up. If anything, you reinvented me. You gave me feeling and provoked laughter again. You reintroduced me to affection.”
“No! Stop!”
“Yes!”
“No!” he reiterated. I watched as tears, identical to mine, began to find his delicate face, accompanied by a disheartening shade of poignant pink. “Dawn, you turned me into what I hate. I’m Paul now. I’m the same guy that stole my mother from me.” He unexpectedly buried his face into the brown leather of his sofa. “I hate you,” he added hoarsely.
And be the one that catches all your tears
I stood in my position across from him, swiping desperately at the endless fall of tears from my eyes. Every tear ostensibly gave me another reason to fight for him. But knowing Justin, every second that passed was giving him another reason to give up.
“Just get out,” he finally whispered.
“I can’t. I can’t leave you like this.”
“Get the fuck out, Dawn.”
That’s why I need you to hear
I found a reason for me to change who I used to be
“No! I didn’t try to hurt you, so stop with this asshole bullshit. Justin, I know that I fucked up here, but you don’t know what my life was like. It’s been six years that I’ve been living in the prison of a loveless marriage. Before I met you, I never even thought of trying to escape. But damn it, we did meet. Why? I don’t know, but something pulled you and I together in that fuckin’ coffee shop. Something gravitated my heart towards yours. I don’t know, but I didn’t plan on it. You think I wanted to fall for you behind my husband’s back? No! I’ve always done the right thing in life. I always played by the rules. Dawn gets pregnant, so Dawn gets married. Does Dawn love him? No, but it’s only right. So Dawn gives up law school and the Park Avenue apartment. Dawn gives up on happiness. She settles for the goddamn secretary position in the law office. She settles on the brownstone in Brooklyn. What is marriage without love? It’s fucking torture! Oh, and a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo when you look at it on paper. So as sorry as I am that I’m hurting you, I don’t regret a second that we’ve spent together. Because in spite of you driving me mad with your attitude, you’ve made me feel again, Justin. I was needed. I was loved. I was happy. And you can hate me for that, but I won’t allow you or anyone else make me feel bad for getting the piece of that pie that I missed out on so long ago.”
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
He gazed at me as if he were looking through me to figure out what I was really saying. His furrowed eyebrows scared me because they loomed over a set of extremely empty eyes. It seemed that he wanted to understand, but he couldn’t. He wanted to forgive me, but he wouldn’t. “This is why I don’t let people in,” he announced. “This is why I don’t care. I can’t.”
“Don’t say that, Justin.”
“Why not? It’s true. You’ve wondered all this time why I’m so cold. Here it is, staring us in the fucking face, Dawn. This started off with me unwilling to love. Turns out, I’ve become the goddamn poster boy for the unrequited love story.”
“Just stop,” I pleaded. “I know this was a shock to you, but there’s a simple solution to this all. I’ll just--”
“No!” he interjected. “Don’t even say it.” He finally took a long gulp and sniffled again before rising from the couch. He walked to me and wrapped his massive, strong arms around my shoulders. He rested his cheek over my head and I could feel his hot tears seeping through my hair, down to my scalp. “I want you to know that I understand,” he said in a hushed tone. “But we can’t do this.”
Those five words made me flinch underneath his embrace, although they didn’t surprise me. I just nodded slightly and cried some more. The pain of it all wouldn’t let me do anything else.
“I wouldn’t let you go if I didn’t have to.”
“But?” I sniffled.
“But I just can’t be that guy.”
“You’re not that guy, Justin.”
“I will be if I stay in this situation. I’ll be a hypocrite. I’ll be the epitome of what I’ve condemned my mother for all these years.”
“Or you could use this to try and understand her position and the huge dilemma”“
“That she put herself in,” he finished, pulling away from me. “There’s no excuse.”
“I know there’s no excuse. But there is a reason.”
I’ve found a reason to show
A side of me you didn’t know
“Yeah, and it’s the same reason that you have to stay with your family. I refuse to be the reason that you abandon them, Dawn.”
“But you”“
“So you have to go.”
Did you hear that? Yes, that was the inimitable sound of Justin walking back and forth across my heart “ yes, the same one that was ripped out and thrown on the floor when he told me to get out this morning. I pulled myself out of his hold and looked around his apartment, allowing my memory to be flooded with the many moments we shared in our short time together. In the realm of love and loss, an approximate two months seems like such a short time to have so much emotion attached to our situation, but as they say, in a New York minute, everything can change.
“I guess this is as good as it gets,” I commented regretfully.
“I meant it when I said it.”
“Said what?”
There was a hint of a slight grin when he replied, “You make me wanna be a better man.”
Ladies and gentlemen, that is as good as it gets. I smiled back at him, and shrugged my coat back over my arms. I went to the door, unsure of what to say in the middle of such a heartrending ordeal. The drama of the situation was over, as was the romance. No more apologies. No more abstract wishes.
I never believed in the whole concept of ‘goodbye.’ You only say that to those that you’ll never see again. I turned from the open door, back to where Justin’s soft and curious face stared back at me. Oddly enough, it turns out that he makes me want to be a better woman. And for that, I can’t say ‘goodbye.’ “I’ll see you around, Justin.”
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Lyrics: “How Did I Fall In Love With You?” “ Backstreet Boys (Black & Blue)
“The Reason” “ Hoobastank (The Reason)
It was love at first sight
I know from the way she looked at me
Her eyes said it all
Long days and nights we spent
Until she dropped the bomb on me
When she said that she was unhappily married with children
Married. Can you fuckin' believe that shit? All that time, Dawn James was a motherfuckin' married woman. The one time that I allowed myself to open up and genuinely adore something other than the goddamn Red Sox, it ends up being out of my reach. And it's not like she just had a boyfriend. She's married. With a kid. That's just basically ripping my heart out and playing fuckin' kickball with it.
It hurt so bad, for sure
Because she wants to be with me
But she cannot be with me
She chose to stay at home
So they could be a family for the children
But what about me?
It's been about a month since DJ and I went our separate ways. I've thought about her every single day since then. I've worked overtime just so I can avoid seeing her during the day. Joey said she came up to the office one Friday while I was at the NYSE headquarters. I knew it wouldn't be easy to forget about it all, but it's hard to even stop remembering.
I wish I never met her at all
I get into these moods where my mind wanders and I overanalyze shit. I wonder what we could've been if she hadn't been married. I think about how fuckin' awesome we would've been together if I'd just told her to leave her husband. I envision life with her and her son, living with me and us being our own little familial unit. But then, my mind starts to drift into how difficult shit would be and I start to resent the entire notion. I convince myself that I'd rather live the simplicity of single life than to be tied down by a wife and kid that don't even belong to me. And then, that's when I think of my mother. It all goes downhill from there. My whole thought process goes from innocently content to some overzealous form of anger. I'd look at Dawn and only be reminded of the pain that me and my dad went through when my mother walked out on us. I can say that I understand DJ's position, and even empathize with it, but I just don't think I'm willing to be a part of it.
Even though, I love her so and she's got love for me
But she still belongs to someone else
It's a cold ass snowy December Saturday and I vowed that I'd make some sort of effort at Christmas shopping before Christmas Day actually got here, so today, I'm heading down to 34th Street to see what I can find. I pulled on my jacket, perched my baseball cap over my head and left my apartment to greet the fury of holiday crowds as optimistically as I could.
+++++
I had been in and out of damn near every store around, not knowing what the fuck I was looking for, but knowing that I had yet to find it. You'd think with all the people bustling back and forth down the streets, a little body heat would radiate through the city, but it was cold as fuck and nothing parading down the sidewalk along with me was helping that shit, either. Tired and frustrated, I snuck inside of Manhattan Mall for a little heat and hopefully some inspiration as to just what to buy my dad, and maybe even Dawn for Christmas. I was passing Brookstone when my cell phone vibrated vehemently against the side of my stomach from inside my jacket pocket.
"Hello?" I answered, having not recognized the number received.
"Justin?"
I stood still in the middle of the mall walkway trying to place the familiar voice but failing miserably. "Who is this?"
"It's your mother." I glanced at the screen for a second time to check the number, finding a 212 area code. I was sure that it couldn't be my mother, because that would me that… "I'm in New York," she added.
"And?"
Her voice was airy and seemed fragile - nothing like a Boston native. "And I wanted to see you, Justin."
"What for? We have nothing to say to each other."
"Well, I know you hate to recognize it, but you are my son and I do love-"
"How about you don't go there, all right? I'm busy, so maybe some other time."
"Justin. Please."
I sighed heavily and looked around the large, crowded mall. I gazed at the couples, so fucking happy-looking you could choke on the cheese; the families scurrying in and out of stores with their handfuls of bags and armfuls of kids; the big groups of friends - half of them have less than a dime in their pocket, but still look on top of the world. I didn't fit into any of those categories. I was alone.
"Justin, are you there?"
"Yeah."
"Can you meet me somewhere?"
"After six years, I guess we're due for another meeting." Tis' the fuckin' season, I guess. "Where do you wanna meet?"
+++++
An hour and a half later, I was sitting at Starbucks inside of Macy's across from my mother. I, Justin Timberlake, was sitting with Lynn Timberlake, or Harless - whatever - I was having coffee with my motherfuckin' mother. Apparently, miracles really do happen on 34th Street.
"So are you seeing anyone?" We'd basically been giving each other interviews, serving as an update on our lives. I guess I should've prepared for that one.
I looked down to the table and watched the steam rise from the tiny hole in the top of my cup. "No."
"No?"
I looked back at her, staring at the top of her straight blonde hair to avoid her eyes and repeated myself. "No, I'm not seeing anyone."
"Oh. I see."
"Is there a problem with that?"
"Not at all. I'm just surprised that someone as handsome as you doesn't have a girlfriend."
"Well I guess I'm just not the girlfriend type," I retorted. "How's Phil?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Your new husband."
"His name is Paul and he's been my husband for fourteen years, Justin."
No shit. "You don't have to throw it in my face, Lynn."
She turned away from me and took sips from her cup. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For being inconsiderate. Why don't we talk about something else?"
"Why?"
"Because I didn't want this to be a confrontational meeting. I just wanted to see my son."
"Well you've seen me, so does that mean I can go now?" I rose from my chair and started to replace my jacket.
"Justin, please don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Leave."
"Oh, you mean like you did to me? Don't walk away like you did to dad?"
Her blue eyes met mine and cried out for forgiveness, and as much as I want to, I'm just not ready to have mercy. "Don't make me beg."
I sat back down heatedly and peered at her. "You should beg. You should know how it feels to not have control over someone's reaction to your own fucked up choices."
"I was wrong. But if you push me away, how does that make you any better than me?"
Now she wants to be a mother. "I - it doesn't."
"So can't we start over? Try again?"
"No!" I shouted. I knew people were beginning to stare at us, but at that point, I didn't care.
"I never meant to hurt you or your father," she whispered.
"Well you did. What gave you the right to find someone else?"
"There's no excuse for it. Your father was just always so busy working and I was alone and unhappy. I wanted something new - a friend, and I found it in Paul."
As I sat there listening to her try to justify her actions, déjà vu settled in and it was like listening to Dawn's speech all over again. I wondered how the same goddamn thing could happen to me twice in one lifetime. What they said made sense to me, but it didn't excuse it at all. How do you forgive the unforgivable?
"Your father has forgiven me and moved on with his life. Why can't you?"
"He was a man when you left him. It hurt him, but he could handle it. I was nine. How the fuck do you look a kid in the eyes and say that you're choosing a stranger over him and expect him to cope with that?"
"Justin, that's not what I did. You didn't want to be a part of my life."
"Stop making excuses! You fucked it all up! You're the one that left!"
"I know that, but I can't take it back. I would, honestly, if I could. But we can move on from that point, Justin. You just have to be willing to take that step with me. I know that your father taught you forgiveness."
I took a deep breath and shook the tears that were stinging the back of my head. She was right. My father did teach me forgiveness. He also taught me to forgive the right people, and I decided fourteen years ago that she wasn't one of them. "You're right," I finally replied. "He taught me that forgiveness was a gift to be bestowed upon only those that are deserving of it." I got up from my seat once again and looked down to her. "And as much as I want to, I can't find a reason good enough to give you that gift."
She used the nail of her index finger to stop her tears from showing and used a napkin to wipe at her nose. "I'm your mother, Justin. You should love me enough to--"
"No. I don't know you. I don't love people just because I'm supposed to. I love them because they elicit sentiment and reciprocate emotions. I've come to understand why you did what you did all those years ago, but I can't forgive those actions without a justifiable reason. So maybe you should just head on back to Boston."
"But-"
"And on your way back, if you happen to pass anyone resembling a mother, tell her that I could use one." Finally, with closure, I picked up my cup of hot chocolate, and headed towards the exit.
I was about five steps from escaping the confines of Hell that were contained in that particular Starbucks when the unmistakable sound of Dawn's laugh tickled my audible range. I turned in the direction of the sound to see her engaged in animated conversation with whom I assumed to be Sky. I smiled at the sight. That's how a mother and son should be - not the broken mess that my pitiful mother and me are ever-evolving into.
I backtracked to where DJ and Sky sat, willing and ready to say something. It was also then that any buoyancy that I had left in me was destroyed by the appearance of a tall, black man, resembling some form of LL Cool J. He sat down next to Sky and smiled with Dawn. I can only presume that that's her husband. I should walk around with my heart in my hand so that people can just take a stab at it when they want. Dejected and torn, I turned back towards the exit and headed into the men's section of the department store.
Run, running all the time
"Justin!" I was almost sure that it was DJ's voice calling me, but my luck would have it that it was only my mother being annoying and ignorant again. "Justin, I know you hear me, bitch!"
I smiled to myself, knowing only Dawn would shout that across a store. I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see her walking towards me, beaming. "Hey," I murmured.
"Hey! What was up with that in there?"
"What?"
"In Starbucks. You were like 2 seconds from the table and then disappeared."
"Well, I saw your husband and I thought I should back off."
She looked at me knowingly and rolled her eyes playfully. "Why have you been avoiding me at the office then?"
"Look, Dawn, I'm just really not in the mood for us to move on and pretend this shit never happened."
"That's cool."
"So maybe I'll see you around."
"No," she answered, pulling me through the store with her. "I wanted to talk to you - see how you were doing."
"I'm okay."
"So guess what?" she smiled, punching me in the arm.
"What?"
"I got into law school, motherfucker!"
"For real?"
"Yup! Thanks to you!" She enclosed her arm over my neck and put me into a headlock, kissing my forehead in the process. "And Michael is helping me pay for what the scholarship stuff doesn't cover."
"Michael… Jackson?"
"No," she cackled. "Sorry, my um-"
"Oh."
"Yeah," she sighed. "So, I wanted to thank you and shit."
"Oh," I smiled meekly, wondering why we were walking in circles and not saying a goddamn thing.
"Okay, this is weird and I don't like holding my tongue, so I'm just gonna say it and hope your reaction is a good one."
"What's up?"
She bit her lip and smiled at the ceiling. "We're getting a divorce."
"Why?"
"It has nothing to do with you. Like I told you before, we just weren't happy. And we decided that it's unfair to raise Sky in an unhappy home."
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to jump for fucking joy, but it seems wrong to be elated about something so negative. "That's true."
"Some people are just meant to be friends, I guess. Me and Michael have gotten along so much better since we've been separated."
"As in 'officially separated'?"
"Yeah. Me and Sky moved into a place in Park Slope near his school and he's with his daddy on the weekends."
"Wow."
"See that's what happens when you ignore me for a month. All kinds of changes going on."
"I wasn't ignoring you," I laughed. Not maliciously.
"Save it. I don't even care about the past. I'm just hoping you don't either."
"What are you trying to say here, Dawn?"
"Look, man, we're good together. You know that, I know that. Hell, Mike knows that. I just need to know that you can forgive me."
I flinched at that word. Forgive. It's just not something that I've mastered yet. I didn't answer her but continued to walk past the same racks of suits that we'd been by at least four times by now.
"If you don't, then I can leave you alone and we can stop making ourselves dizzy here," she joked.
I chuckled lightly and stopped in front of the Lacoste shirts' section. "I don't know what to say."
"You can say, 'Yes, Dawn, I'm willing to move on because I forgive you and I love you as much as you love me.'" She waited for me to respond but my head was saying too many things at once. "Any time now, Justin."
"I do love you. And I do want to move on. But-"
"But you can't forgive me."
Running to the future with you right by my side
Me, I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people, you wanted me the most
It's amazing to me how hard is it to not hold a grudge; not contain that shred of resentment that could eventually tear us apart. There's also that overwhelming amount of happiness that I have when she's around. I love her and I can admit that. Maybe this is what my dad was talking about when he said that I had to learn to forgive the right people.
And I'm so sorry that I've fallen
Help me up, let's keep on running
"No."
Her facial expression dropped and she blinked slowly in disappointment. "I see."
"No, I can forgive you. I'm just not sure that you've given me a reason to," I smiled.
Her eyes grew wide and her smile stretched from ear to ear. "If I fuck you up, will that be a reason?"
"No, that'll be a reason for me to kick your ass."
Don't let me fall out of love
She took hold of my hand and entwined her fingers with mine before quickly kissing the tops of my knuckles. "Thank you."
"No, thank you," I grinned. "Thank you for giving me a reason to try."
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
"You're sure you want this?" she asked. "You're not gonna wake up in two months and hate me all of a sudden, are you?"
"Well, I just might. But if I know you, you'll find some way to make me love you again."
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
Work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up
"Wow, flattery. I really did change your ass, huh?"
We completed the circling of the men's department one last time before heading back towards the entrance to Starbucks. "That wasn't a compliment. That was just an example of just how anal you can be."
"You think that'll work for or against us?"
Running, as fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
Running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated
"Could go either way. But I swear to God if you lie to me ever again, Dawn."
"I sweah to Gahd, I'll never lie to you again," she giggled. "Unless I tell you I like the Sox to get out of an argument. Nice hat, by the way."
I tapped the tip of my Yankees cap and smiled for the millionth-fucking-time since I met her. And I'm so-fucking-glad I did.
The End
Lyrics: "I Wish" - Carl Thomas (Emotional)
"Running" - No Doubt (Rock Steady)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.