March 2007 

Emma Sarver walked through the glass door of the store front her friend and she rented for their graphic design offices.  The space was empty in the front except for a desk where their part-time secretary sat and framed prints of some of the designs they had done.

 

She walked past the wall and into the main office, which was really just an open space with four computer stations and a large conference table.

 

Emma and her friend Bryan Taylor had opened 479design a year after they had graduated from college.  The 479 represented the area code in which they lived, that of northwest Arkansas, specifically Springdale.

 

Emma set her messenger bag on the already cluttered conference table before plopping down in the chair at her computer.  She turned the Mac on.

 

“Bryan?” Emma asked. She knew he was there because the front door was unlocked when she showed up.

 

“Back here!” He yelled.  She heard him swear and then one of the printer drawers or one of the compartments slamming shut. “The damn printer is acting up again.” Bryan came around the corner of the back room and made his way to his computer. “I’ve got to call the service.”

 

“Maybe we should consider getting a new one,” Emma responded and clicked on iTunes to get some music going in the place.

 

“We’ll have to see if we can afford it,” Bryan sighed.  479design was still small and growing.  The two of them mostly created Web sites and publications for some local companies, and various merchandise for bands and artists.

 

“We need to get the portfolio done for Gotee today,” Emma said.  She was headed to Nashville in a couple of days to meet with representatives from Gotee Records, which was now an independent record label for Christian bands and artists.  Bryan and she were trying to pick up Gotee’s business so that they could grow their own.

 

“Definitely,” Bryan answered.  He started to move the chair back and forth.  “Let’s use what we’ve done for The Wedding and The Goodnight Fight.”

 

Emma nodded and stood up from her chair.  She walked to the table where in one of the piles were the latest designs for both of those bands.  She also pulled out some older files from the cabinets nearby. 

 

Bryan got up also and moved some stuff off of the conference table so they could spread out and look through what they had. 

 

*  *  *

 

“These are great,” Joey Elwood said flipping through the portfolio that Emma and Bryan had put together a couple days before.  Joey was the co-founder and president of Gotee Records. 

 

“Thanks,” Emma said.  “I can also pull up the Web sites we have done for The Wedding and some local companies in northwest Arkansas.”

 

“That would be great,” Joey said.  “I can turn on this computer and we can put it up on the screen.”  Joey turned to the computer set up on the little table behind him and started it up. 

 

Emma continued to explain the different projects and any meanings each may have had, and when the computer was up, she took him to a few different sites to show him what she and Bryan were capable of doing.

 

“I’m really impressed,” Joey said.  “I have to discuss it with a few other people here, but I think you guys are exactly what we want for our new look and giving each of our artists new looks as well.”

 

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Emma said.  They talked for a few more minutes before their meeting wrapped up.

 

“So do you have any more plans for your time in Nashville?”  Joey asked.

 

“Oh, I’m going to The Almost show tonight,” Emma answered.

 

“Have you seen them before?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, Trevor, my brother, he’s toured with them and I went on that tour,” Emma replied.  She followed him out to the front of the offices.  “So it’ll be fun to see them again.  They don’t know I’m coming.”

 

“Well have fun,” Joey said.  “It was great meeting you.  I am definitely going to get in touch with you soon about starting on some projects.”

 

“That sounds great,” Emma smiled and shook his hand. “Talk to you soon.”

 

*  *  *

 

“Do you mind?”  Emma turned her head away from the stage when she heard the man’s voice. He had his hand resting on the back of the chair at the table she was at.

 

“Not at all,” Emma smiled, not even flinching when she recognized who it was and after all he wasn’t on her list of ‘good’ music.  However, she was a little shocked when he didn’t move the chair to another location, but sat at the table with her.  Emma turned back to the stage and watched the members of the band finish tuning their guitars and testing the sound.  She could feel his eyes on her.

 

“So, uh … have you heard this band before?”  He startled Emma out of her concentration on the stage.

 

“Yeah,” Emma said, “The Almost, they’re great.”  She paused and figured she might as well introduce herself, “I’m Emma Sarver.”  Emma held out her hand.

 

“Justin,” he reached out and shook her hand.  She was cute.  Not his usual type, but the punk image fit her well and he wasn’t finding anything wrong with it. 

 

“What brings you to this venue?”  She asked, “I know this can’t be your typical place of entertainment.”

 

“Something different,” Justin shrugged.  “I thought I might try out something new.”

 

“You’re in for a treat then,” Emma smiled.  She picked up her drink and finished it off.

 

“Would you like another drink?” Justin asked just as the lights turned off.

 

“No thanks!”  Emma had to yell over the crowd noise. 

 

Justin smiled and turned his attention toward the stage.  He could hear Emma yelling along with the crowd when the five band members walked out onto the stage.  Justin could feel the drums moving through the building and his body as soon as the drummer took his place.

 

Emma started bouncing her feet to the beat and once the crowd really started moving, she couldn’t sit there.  Emma stood up, and Justin turned to look at her.

 

“I have to go down!” Emma yelled.  He looked confused.  She leaned over and yelled in his ear, “Floor!  Come with?”

 

He shrugged and stood up with his drink in his hand.  Emma took his drink out of his hand and set it down knowing that if he carried it down there it would end up all over his jeans and shirt.  She grabbed his hand.

 

Justin was shocked by the gesture, but followed her down the stairs and into the crowd.  He definitely wasn’t worried about getting into trouble in the crowd even with the few confused looks being thrown in his direction.  Once Emma settled on a spot, he wasn’t sure what to expect from her next especially with the rest of the crowd pushing and jumping up and down along with the beat. 

 

Emma didn’t hesitate to join in.

 

She looked over at him when she realized he wasn’t getting into it.  Emma looked at him like ‘Are you just going to stand there?’

 

Justin shrugged.  Emma shook her head and went back to bouncing up and down.  He should have had more to drink.  After the first couple of songs though, he loosened up and got into the music more, and he even joined in with Emma’s movements.

 

“What did you think?” Emma turned toward Justin when the set had ended and people started to move toward the exit.  They stayed in place.

 

“Good,” he answered with a nod.  His ears were ringing.  She brushed her sweaty bangs out of her eyes as she looked up at him. 

 

“I’m going to go talk to Aaron,” she smiled. “Do you want to meet him?”

 

“Uh, sure,” Justin shrugged and followed her across the floor that was littered with empty cups and colored flyers. 

 

As they neared the stage Emma yelled, “Aaron!” 

 

Aaron turned quickly from his conversation with the drummer and grinned through his shoulder-length red hair, which covered his eyes, when he recognized her.

 

“Emma!” Aaron yelled back as he took a few steps toward the edge of the stage and jumped down in front of her and Justin.  He wrapped his arms around her in a hug and she returned it.  “What are you doing in Nashville?”

 

“Ah, work.  But I heard you guys were playing and couldn’t resist.”  Emma grinned as he kept his arm around her shoulder.  “You guys really need to come to Arkansas more.”

 

“I know, I know.”  Aaron responded.  “So what did you think?”

 

“Brilliant, as always.  I don’t expect anything less,” Emma answered honestly and then turned her head to look at Justin.  “This is Justin Timberlake.”

 

“Oh, hey.  I’m Aaron Gillespie” Aaron removed his arm from around Emma’s shoulder to shake his hand.  “First time at our show?”

 

“Yeah.  It was really good.”  Justin responded, “Do you guys have any CDs out?”

 

“Sure do,” Aaron answered.  “I’ll go grab one.  Excuse me.”  He smiled toward Emma and walked away.

 

“So …”  Justin turned toward Emma as if he were looking for an explanation to the interaction he had just witnessed.

 

“My brother, Trevor, is in a band called The Wedding, and they have toured with Underoath, which is the band Aaron plays drums for.  I went on that tour to help out, and Aaron’s one of my best friends.”  She explained just as Aaron came back with a CD for Justin.  He handed it to him.

 

“Thanks.  How much?”  Justin asked reaching for the wallet in his pocket.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Aaron waved him off.

 

“No, no.  I want to pay for it,” he opened up his wallet and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill.

 

“Well thanks,”  Aaron accepted the money and stuck it in his pocket.  “How’s Trev?  I haven’t heard from him in a while.”

 

“He’s good.  They’re on break right now, so he’s at home, but they’ve got a tour with Emery and RED coming up, and then back to the studio.”  Emma answered.  “I’ll make him call you.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.”  Aaron nodded.  “I gotta get back to packing up, we’re gonna get some food, are you going to hang around?”

 

“Sure,” Emma answered.  Always eager to hang out with Aaron and the rest of the group.  She wasn’t sure what Justin was going to do, not that it mattered anyway.  Aaron walked back to the edge of the stage where he pulled himself up.

 

Emma turned to Justin and smiled.

 

“Well I’m going to go.  I’ve got a busy day tomorrow,” Justin said.  “Could I get your phone number though?” 

 

“Yeah,” Emma didn’t hesitate.  She walked over to the stage and picked up a set list that was still sitting there.  “Aaron, do you have a marker?”  Aaron was wrapping up the cord that went from his amp to guitar.  He stopped and pulled out the black marker that was in his back pocket.  “Thanks.”

 

Emma jotted down her cell phone number and e-mail address before handing the sheet of paper to him.  Justin took it and folded it up to stick it in his pocket.

 

“I will be talking to you soon then.”  He grinned.  “It was fun hanging out with you.”

 

“Same here.  Nice to meet you Justin,” Emma smiled too.  “Have a good night.”

 

“You too,” Justin responded.  “Bye.”  He waved and then turned to walk out of the venue.

 

“So what was that?” Aaron asked Emma when he was out of ear shot. 

 

“I don’t know,” Emma shrugged.  “I was sitting at a table in the back and he just sat down next to me.  He seems nice enough though.  Not what I would expect.”

 

“Just be careful,” Aaron said.

 

“I know.  Leave the big brother gig to Trevor,” Emma said.

 

“Even though he’s the little brother,” Aaron asked.

 

“Even though,” Emma nodded as she placed her hands on the stage and pulled herself up.  “What can I do?”

 

“Help Kenny with the drum kit,” Aaron answered.  Emma walked over to where the band’s drummer, Kenny Bozich, was packing up his drums.  She spent the rest of the evening hanging out with Aaron and the guys in the band.  

 

*  *  *

 

“Hello,” Emma answered her cell phone.

 

“Hi, is this Emma?” A male voice asked.  It sounded familiar to her, but she wasn’t quite sure who it was.

 

“Yes,” Emma said.  “Who’s this?” She sat down on the couch in her living room.  For once on a weekend it was just her and her dog, Brody, at home.

 

“This is Justin … from the uh, show last weekend.”  He sounded awkward and hated that.

 

“Oh hey,” Emma smiled into the phone.  “How are you?”

 

“Not bad,” he smiled too.  “A little busy, but that’s nothing new.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Emma yawned.  “‘Scuse me.  The company, I run with a friend of mine, we just got a good contract, so it has been a little crazy.”

 

479design had picked up Gotee Records as a client a few days after she had returned from Nashville.  So Bryan and she flew back out there with contracts and to discuss the new projects further.  It was good for the business to get to the point where they wanted to go with it.

 

“So what do you do?”  Justin asked.

 

“I am a graphic designer.  I create a lot of merchandise for bands, which is what the contract is for, and I do some Web and publication design as well for the bands and some businesses in the area,” she explained.  “It’s fun.  I’d ask what you do, but it’s hard not to know that.  Even when you don’t pay attention to that stuff, like myself.”

 

Justin laughed.  They talked for another hour before Justin had to head out for dinner with friends.  He promised to call her soon. 

May 2007

 

“So I was thinking of coming out there for a few days at the end of July when I get back,” Justin said.  He and Emma managed to talk on the phone at least once a week even though he was on tour in Europe, and he wanted to see her again.  They were becoming quick friends for sure, and he was starting to like her as more.

 

“That’d be cool,” Emma smiled.  “But I’m warning you now, that there is nothing overly spectacular to do here.”

 

“That’s okay.  I just want to hang out with you anyway,” Justin responded honestly.  Emma was glad he couldn’t see her blush.  For some unknown reason she was developing a crush on him.

 

“Well … um,” Emma started, “Just let me know when you come, and I can pick you up from the airport.”

 

“Cool. I’ll set something up then.”

 

“Okay.  So where are you going to be this week?”

 

“France and Germany,” Justin answered.

 

*  *  *

 July 2007 

“Welcome to Arkansas,” Emma smiled when she saw Justin step off the escalator at the Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport.   

“Thanks,” Justin smiled.  He was happy to see her again.  Justin wrapped his arms around her, and she returned the hug.  “You weren’t kidding when you said this airport was small.”  He looked around and then back at her.  The airport only had 10 gates and two baggage claims so it wasn’t hard for her to spot him at all. 

 

“Yup.  So did you check anything or is that all you have?”  Emma asked noticing the rolling suitcase he dragged behind him.

 

“This is all,” Justin answered and lowered the baseball cap he was wearing when people started to give him weird looks.  They were obviously wondering why he would be in Arkansas.

 

“Great,” Emma said.  “We’ll head out then.”  She was nervous and unsure why.  They talked about his three and a half hour flight as they headed out to her brother’s truck.

 

“I’m driving Trevor’s truck today,” Emma explained as they walked up to the beat-up old Chevy Silverado.  “You can just put your stuff on the backseat.”  She walked around to the driver side door and unlocked it and the rest.  Justin opened the back door to put his suitcase in it and then climbed into the front seat.

 

“We have four extra guests with us this weekend,” Emma said and started the truck.  “So instead of putting you in the guestroom you’ll be in the den.”

 

“Whatever works,” Justin smiled.  He was just glad to be in her presence again.

 

“They’ll be leaving tomorrow morning anyway,” Emma explained.  She maneuvered the truck through the parking lot and out onto the two-lane highway that would lead them toward I-540. 

 

Emma and Trevor had bands staying in their house just about every weekend.  It was something they didn’t mind doing because most of the bands were starting up or were just on small independent labels. 

 

“So who’s staying this weekend?”  Justin asked.  He knew all about the bands staying at her house and thought it was nice of them to do that for people they didn’t really know.

 

“Inhale/Exhale.  They’re show is tonight.”  She answered.  “Which I have been recruited to be at, at the last minute because Trevor’s playing, and I have to watch the merchandise.”

 

“Okay,” Justin nodded and looked out the window at the green scenery that was passing them by.

 

“You’re welcome to come with,” Emma glanced over at him and then back on the road. 

 

“Why not,” he shrugged.  “How many people will be there?”

 

“Eh, that depends.  If people get the word out that The Wedding is going to be there, there could easily be 500 kids.”

 

“That’s a decent crowd.”

 

“Mmhmm … especially at this venue,” Emma replied. 

 

Thirty minutes later they pulled up to Emma’s house.  She drove past her driveway so she could back into the grassy spot in front of where the trailer was parked.

 

“We have to hook up the trailer for the show tonight,” Emma explained as she turned around so she could see what she was doing.  “All of the merchandise and amps for their shows are in there.”

 

“No one bothers it?”  Justin asked.

 

“Nah,” she shut the truck off.  “We back it up right against the fence.  No one can get in.” 

 

Justin unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door.  The house he was looking at was very small and there was another van with a trailer parked in the street.

 

When Emma got out of her side of the truck, she saw her elderly neighbor standing on his front porch.

 

“Hello Mr. Davis!”  Emma waved.

 

“Hi Emma,” he waved back.  “You have more visitors?”

 

“Yes sir,” she closed the door to Trevor’s truck and then walked further into his yard. 

 

Mr. Davis was 87 years old and had lived in his house for nearly 60 years.  His children and grandchildren wanted him to live somewhere else, but he insisted on his freedom.  Emma and Trevor had come to love the old man who was very tolerant of their many houseguests and band practices.  His children weren’t.

 

The two did whatever they could for him.

 

“How are you doing?”  She asked.

 

“Wonderful.  Sally and her kids are coming by this afternoon,” he answered with a smile on his face.

 

“That’s great.”  Emma smiled too.  He was always happy when his granddaughter visited with her own children.

 

“Who’s the young man with you?” Mr. Davis nodded toward Justin who had just made his way to where Emma was standing.

 

“This is my friend Justin Timberlake,” Emma turned toward Justin.  “Justin this is Mr. Davis my neighbor.”

 

“Nice to meet you sir,” Justin said.

 

“You too son,” Mr. Davis stated.  “Now that name sounds familiar.”

 

“He’s a pretty famous musician,” Emma grinned.

 

“Oh … yes,” the older man nodded.  “I think I’ve seen you on the TV.”

 

“Probably,” Justin smiled.

 

“Is there anything we can do for you?  Have you had lunch yet?”  Emma asked.

 

“No. No. I’m fine,” he waved her off.  “Sally’s going to get me out of the house for a bit to go to lunch when she gets here.”

 

“That’s great,” Emma responded.  She knew he didn’t get out enough.  “Just let me know if you need anything.”

 

“I will.  Thank you Emma,” he sat down on the rocking chair on his porch.  “You two have a good day and tell Trevor he needs to come by so we can talk.”

 

“Will do,” Emma replied.  “See you later.” She nodded her goodbye.  Justin waved and then followed Emma.  He grabbed his bag and the two headed inside her house.

 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Emma waved her arm out in front of.  “It’s nothing spectacular but I love it.”

 

“That’s all that matters right?”  Justin asked.  Emma nodded.

 

The front door opened right into the living room, just to the right of the door was the dining room/kitchen, and in front of them was the hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathroom.

 

“Obviously this is the living room and the dining room with the kitchen.”  Emma said.  “Let me show you where you will sleep.”

 

“Okay.”  He followed her through the dining room and into the tiny kitchen that had double doors leading out to the den, which was an addition.

 

“I’m sorry it’s nothing fancy,” she said in reference to the sofa sleeper he would be sleeping on.

 

“Hey,” Justin grabbed her hand.  “It doesn’t matter.  I came here to hang out with you not to sleep, so don’t worry about it.  Besides who needs all those five star hotels?”  Emma rolled her eyes. 

 

“I’ll show you where the bathroom is,” she turned back to the doors leading to the kitchen.  Justin didn’t let go of her hand as he followed her.  Emma didn’t mind.  “Help yourself to food and drinks.  The plates are in here, silverware, and cups.”  She opened and closed each of those cabinets and drawer for him to see. 

 

They walked through the doorway that led into the hall.

 

“There are towels in here,” she pointed to the linen closet.  “Right here is the bathroom. Sorry about the mess, Trevor was supposed to clean it, but that didn’t happen.  That’s the guest room, Trevor’s room and my room.”  She pointed to each of the doors near them.

 

“‘No Boys Allowed’?” Justin read the sign that Trevor had taped to her closed door.

 

“Yeah, Trevor made that for me when we moved in and started having all these bands staying here.  My room is only for me,” Emma shrugged.  Justin couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her and she returned his gesture.

 

“I’m glad I came out here,” he said.

 

“I’m glad you did too,” Emma looked up at him with a smile.  “You hungry?”

 

 “I could eat,” Justin shrugged and reluctantly released his hold on her.  He followed her back to the kitchen where she pulled out everything they would need to make a sandwich or two and chips.

 

Justin and Emma were still standing in her kitchen eating when her brother and four other guys walked into the house from the Bible study they went to that morning.  They all seemed to be talking at once.

 

“Hi boys!” Emma said loudly.  She set her sandwich down on the counter as they all came into the dining room/kitchen.  “I have stuff for ya’ll to make sandwiches if you’re hungry.”

 

“Great,” Trevor said studying the man who was standing in his kitchen.  “Introduce us.”  He nodded toward Justin.

 

“I was getting to that,” Emma looked at Trevor impatiently.  “Everyone this is Justin Timberlake.  Justin this is my brother Trevor,” Emma pointed to the guy who had just spoken. 

 

Justin wasn’t surprised to see that Trevor had a piercing below his lip and in his noise, or those things in his ears that stretched out his earlobes a bit, which were covered by his shaggy black hair, and the tattoos covering his right arm.  He and Emma looked a lot like each other, but she didn’t have the tattoos and only had piercings in her ears. 

 

“And this is Ryland Raus, John LaRussa, Jeremy Gifford and Chris Carroll,” Emma introduced each of the guys who were now standing in the small kitchen.  They were in similar states of dress as Trevor was.

 

“Nice to meet you guys,” Justin shook each of their hands and then moved out of the way so they could make their lunches.  He struck up a conversation with Ryland and Chris while they made their sandwiches.

 

“So how was Bible study this morning?” Emma asked Trevor as he pulled out two slices of bread.  She made her way around to the other side of the counter and sat down on one of the stools.

 

“Really good,” Trevor answered and started to explain what they had discussed that morning.  The other guys pitched in with their own comments. 

 

Emma was happy to see Justin fit in with this rough-looking bunch of guys.  She knew it could be intimidating for some to get around people who dressed the way they did, but Emma figured Justin was around so many different types of people all of the time he could fit in anywhere.  She zoned out watching him while everyone else talked.

 

Justin grinned when he caught her staring at him.  She blushed and turned her attention back to where Trevor was telling Jeremy about his show at Cornerstone Festival the previous summer.

 

*  *  *

 

“This is where they’re going to play?”  Justin asked as Emma drove the truck with the trailer into the parking lot.  They drove past a fast food restaurant and to the warehouse-looking building behind it. 

 

“Sure is,” Emma said and turned the corner in between the restaurant and The Music Hall to park where they could unload the back of the trailer easily. 

 

Trevor had ridden along with Inhale/Exhale, and they pulled in shortly after Emma and Justin did.  They parked their van and trailer on the other side of the tiny parking lot. 

 

“This is The Music Hall.”

 

“Small,” Justin said as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

 

“Well not everyone is as famous as you are,” Emma smiled to let him know she was just teasing.  She turned the truck off just as someone pounded on her window.  Emma jumped and turned to look at who it was.  “You suck Cody!”  She yelled at the guy who was standing there and then turned to look at Justin.  “He’s so mean to me.”

 

Justin smirked and then opened his door to get out.  Emma got out and punched Cody in the shoulder because he was still standing there.

 

“Ow! What was that for?” he grabbed his shoulder.  Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head before walking around the truck.  Justin had already made his way to the back and was talking with Kevin Kiehn another member of The Wedding.

 

“Trevor didn’t mention you were hanging out with the big wigs now,” Kevin said to Emma.

 

“Well this is only the second time we’ve seen each other,” Emma unlocked the trailer doors and opened them before smiling at Justin.  “Where’s Jeremy and Joe?” She noticed the other members of their band weren’t around.

 

“They are inside talking to JB,” Kevin answered and grabbed one of the amps sitting at the front of the trailer. 

 

“Ah,” Emma nodded and stepped inside the trailer to move the boxes forward that had shifted during the drive.  “Are you going to help us out?”  She asked Justin, who by that time had introduced himself to Cody.

 

“Sure,” he shrugged.

 

“Well grab an amp then,” Emma pointed to one while Cody picked up another one.  Justin did as she asked and followed Cody.

 

“She’s a slave driver,” Cody said loud enough for Emma to hear as they walked through the doors into the building.  Emma picked up one of the boxes full of T-shirts and jumped out of the trailer to take it inside.

 

Both bands unloaded their gear, and while they set up and did sound check, Justin helped Emma set up the merchandise table.

 

“I sometimes forget how much work it takes to do all the set up and tear down,” Justin said. “I mean, I know how hard my crew works for me, but these guys are doing it all themselves.”

 

“They always will too,” Emma replied and watched as Trevor and Cody laughed about something one of the guys in Inhale/Exhale said.

 

She was really proud of her brother and friends for all they had accomplished as a band.  They might never be very popular or super famous, but they had a great fan base and were doing what they set out to do.

 

Justin was enjoying watching Emma in her element.  She fit in with this crowd, and he wondered if she would ever fit in or want to fit in with his crowd.  He loved that Emma had her own little world that she lived in, and that it was really different from his world.

 

“They love every minute of it,” she smiled.

 

“I can see that.” 

 

The small room was starting to fill with fans who were talking to each other or the guys in the bands.

 

“Do they usually sell a lot of merchandise?”

 

“That depends where they are at.  Here not a lot because most of the kids who come are regulars and already have the shirts and CDs and everything else,” Emma explained just as a couple of girls wandered over to the table pretending to look at the merchandise.  Emma and Justin looked at each other and smiled knowing exactly what they wanted – and that didn’t involve The Wedding.

 

“Can I help you?” Emma asked.

 

“Um …,” one of them started and looked between Emma and Justin,” can we have your autograph?”

 

“Sure,” Justin shrugged.  “Do you have something I can sign?”  He really hadn’t been expecting to do this just from looking at the crowd, but you never know.

 

“We don’t,” the other girl sighed.

 

“I’ve got some paper down here,” Emma squatted down and pulled out a box from underneath the table.  Inside was their money box, a legal pad, which she used to keep track of everything they sold, some pens and sharpies.  She grabbed the legal pad and a sharpie, and handed both to Justin before standing up again.

 

Justin flipped to the last page and signed the paper twice for each girl.  He tore it off of the pad and then ripped in half to give one to each girl.  They thanked him and went on their way, giggling.

 

“Does the crowd get rowdy?”

 

“Oh yeah … it can get pretty ridiculous,” Emma nodded.  “By the end of the night half the crowd will have ended up on the stage because it’s so low to the ground.  Thankfully no one has ever been hurt.  It’s pretty much an anything goes venue, but that is of course within reason.  The kids are pretty respectful.”

 

Justin nodded.  He had noticed how the fans didn’t make a big deal over the fact that any one member of each of the bands could be standing right next to them.  “Must be nice.”

 

“Aww …” Emma reached over and rubbed his back a few times when someone else approached the table.  The boy bought a copy of the new CD and then wandered off into the crowd.

 

“I am enjoying the fact that, give or take a few, no one seems to care that I am standing here.”  Justin said truthfully.  It was nice to have a break.

 

“It is good to know that you don’t always have to be the center of attention,” she smirked. 

 

Justin kind of shoved her playfully, before grabbing her arms so he could pull her in for a hug.  He had wanted to do that all evening. 

 

Even though she didn’t want to, Emma pulled away after a few seconds and smiled at him.

 

“I’m going to go grab a chair to sit on from over there,” she pointed behind the counter where people were paying to come into the show.  “Do you want a chair?”

 

“I can go grab them,” Justin offered. 

 

“Thanks,” Emma replied and watched him walk over to where she had pointed and get two metal folding chairs for them.

 

*  *  *

 

“Did you have fun tonight?” Emma asked Justin much later that night.

 

“I did,” Justin replied.  “There was a lot of energy in that place.”  Emma nodded in agreement.

 

She grabbed the pots that were sitting on the stove and put them in the sink so she could start washing those.

 

“So …” Justin started.  It was really the first time they had been alone since he had been picked up from the airport.  The guys from Inhale/Exhale and Trevor had all gone to bed as soon as they had eaten the spaghetti Emma made for them.

 

“You want to talk?”  Emma could tell that he had something on his mind the whole evening.

 

“I know we haven’t really been around each other, but I’ve enjoyed the time we have and all of our phone conversations,” he said.  “I like you Emma, and I’d like to try having a relationship with you.”

 

Emma smiled at the thought.  It wasn’t really something she had considered, she knew she liked him, but never knew where he stood – until now.

 

“Okay,” Emma turned away from the sink to look at him.

 

“Really?”  Justin asked.  He sounded somewhat shocked.

 

“Why not?”  She asked, “I like you, you like me.  That only makes sense.”

 

“I’m glad you feel the same way,” Justin stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.  Emma returned it and looked up at him.  He leaned down and kissed her.

 

Emma sighed.  She had been curious about kissing him the whole day, and normally she would not have gone for it this soon, but he was different.  And it was nice.

 

“Justin,” Emma hated to pull away from his kiss, but as soon as his fingers snuck up a little under her shirt she needed to stop him.  She pulled away from him a little, but he followed her movements and kissed her again.

“Justin,” Emma repeated a little more firmly and this time placing her hands on his wrists to push his hands away.

 

“What?” He asked frustrated.  Just dropped his hands to his side.  He had been enjoying their kiss.

 

“I guess … uh,” she paused not sure how to approach this with him.  Emma knew he was used to certain things, but she wouldn’t go there.  “We have to set some ground rules if we’re going to be together.”  She turned back toward the sink to continue rinsing plates off.

 

“I’m okay with kissing … I hate to sound like a prude,” she groaned.  “But just … um, there are a lot of things I won’t do unless I’m married.”

 

Justin leaned against the counter and then grabbed her hand before she could pick up another dish.  It was a little wet, but he didn’t care.  Emma looked over at him and then down at the floor.

 

“That’s okay,” he said.  “I can respect that Emma.”  She let out the breath of air she was holding.  “If I cross a line just let me know, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Emma responded.

 

“Hey,” he said and pulled her so she was standing in front of him.  Justin wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.  Emma wrapped her arms around him too, and rested her head on his chest. 

 

“I want us to work Emma.  I’m going to do my best for that too happen.  I respect your beliefs,” Justin explained.   “You’re special and I want to see where we can go with this.”  He gave her a squeeze.  “Got it?”

 

“Yeah,” Emma smiled up at him.  She stood on her toes so she could give him a quick kiss. “Thank you.”

 

“Anytime,” he grinned.

 

“I need to finish the dishes,” Emma pulled out of his embrace and took the one step toward the sink.

 

Justin was amazed at how much she did for her brother and the bands and artists they had come through their house.  Here it was almost 3 a.m., and she was cleaning up from the very late dinner she had made for them after the show, and everyone else was asleep.

 

“What can I do to help?”  Justin asked.

 

“Nothing,” Emma answered.  “You’re a guest.”

 

“Emma, please …” he pouted, “Can I help?”

 

“No, I’m almost done anyway.” Emma responded and put the plate she was rinsing into the dishwasher.  Justin sighed in frustration, but didn’t fight her on it.

 

“Why do you do all of this for people you don’t know?” he asked.

 

“Because I love it,” Emma answered honestly.  “I love hosting people and cooking for them.  You know?  Plus it’s nice for them to not sleep in the back of their vans or buses, and have a nice meal.”  She yawned as she turned off the sink.

 

“How long have you been up?”

 

“Since six,”  she answered and put soap in the dishwasher.

 

“Geez, please tell me you’re going to sleep in tomorrow.” Justin said.

 

“Umm …” she started the dishwasher and looked at him.  “I’m getting up for church at eight.  You’re welcome to come with Trevor and me.  I don’t know if the other guys are going.”

 

“Sure.”  Justin shrugged.

 

“Do you have everything you need for bed?”  Emma asked.

 

“Yeah.  Thanks for everything tonight.”

 

“It’s no problem.  Goodnight.”  She moved to kiss him, which he happily returned.

 

“Night.”

August 2007

 

“So, umm … I was wondering if you’d be my date to the VMAs?” Justin asked.

 

“The VMAs.”  Emma thought out loud.

 

 “Hey, it’s a free trip to Vegas,” he said, “and your own hotel room.”

 

Emma laughed at that comment.  “Well, I appreciate that.  When is it?”

 

“September 9,” he answered.  “But I was thinking maybe you could come back with me to LA and come to my show on the 16th.”

 

“I should be able to go.”

 

“Should?”  Justin asked.  He really wanted to see her again and it had only been a few weeks.

 

“What?  You know Bryan’s not capable of being left alone.”  Emma smiled even though he couldn’t see her.  “I have to wait and see though.  You know I’ve been really busy with my business and because I just took off for a few days when you were here …”

 

“I understand,” Justin sounded like he was pouting.

 

“Come on Justin,” she started, “I haven’t said no yet.  I really do want to go, I promise.  Okay?  479 is picking up and I kind of have to be here.”

 

“Yeah I know, I just, I miss you.”

 

“I know,” Emma nodded.  It was weird how much she missed him – at least Emma thought it was – it wasn’t like they had been a couple for very long and they’d only been in each others’ presence twice.

 

*  *  *

 

September 2007

 

While Justin had visited Emma in July, she had tried her best to entertain him and show him her part of the world.  However, they mostly hung out at her house watching movies, listening to music, and getting to know each other better; after all, they were going to try this whole dating thing in the midst of his touring and her growing business. 

 

Emma had enjoyed those brief five days with him, and she was looking forward to the upcoming week.  She had worked it out so she could take off for 10 days to hang out with Justin, who was really excited about it.

 

Emma had just been dropped off at the hotel she would be staying at with Justin.  He had convinced her to share a suite with him and had promised that she would still have her own room and bathroom.  She walked up to the counter.  This hotel was all kinds of fancy.

 

“Afternoon miss,” the concierge said.

 

“Hi,” Emma smiled, “I need to check in.”  She pulled out the sheet of paper she had printed off with the hotel confirmation information Justin said she would need to check in.  Emma handed it to the man.  “I’m Emma Sarver.”

 

“Okay,” he looked at the sheet of paper and then back up at her after she saw whose name was on it.  The man typed in the confirmation number and read the screen.  “I need to see some ID.”

 

“Oh, yes …” Emma pulled her wallet out of the same bag she grabbed the confirmation sheet out of.  She handed him her driver’s license.

 

“Thank you Ms. Sarver,” he said and handed her license back.  “We always have to double check when it comes to our high-profile guests.”

 

“That’s all right.  Better safe, than sorry.”  She replied and put the laminated card back in its place.  Emma watched as he typed in a few more things.

 

“Is this your first time staying with us?”  When Emma answered ‘yes’, he explained all of the hotels amenities and services, and then he called for the bellhop to get her bag and show her to the room.

 

Emma sat down on the couch in the living room of the suite after the bellhop had left.  She looked around not knowing what to do with herself.  This “suite” was as big as her house.  Justin was supposed to get there in the middle of the night after his show in Washington State that night.   

 

Her cell phone rang, breaking the silence in the space.  Emma jumped up to answer it before voicemail picked up.  She smiled when she saw Justin’s name on the screen.

 

“Hi!” Emma answered.

 

“Are you there?”  Justin asked.

 

“I’m here.  This place is ridiculous Justin … it’s as big as my house.”  Emma said looking around the spacious suite again.

 

“It is not that big,” he responded and rolled his eyes.

 

“It might as well be.”

 

Justin laughed.  He couldn’t have been more excited to see her.  If only he could skip his show.

 

“So do you have any suggestions about what I should do tonight?”  Emma asked and sat back down on the couch.

 

“Just get some room service and chill.  Tomorrow is going to be a long day,” he answered.

 

“I think I might go explore some.”  She didn’t care to sit in the hotel all night and she had never been to Vegas.

 

“Well if you do, just be careful,” he didn’t like the thought of her walking around by herself, but knew she would do it even if he told her not to.

 

“I will.  What time do you think you’ll get in?” 

 

“Probably 4 a.m.,” he answered.  They had at least a whole 12 hours before they would see each other if Emma would be awake.  Justin and Emma talked on the phone a few more minutes before he had to go eat dinner.

 

Emma spent the evening exploring the Strip and getting something to eat for dinner.  When she got back, she turned the TV on and ended up falling asleep on the couch in the living area. 

 

Before she knew it Emma woke up to someone outside of the door.  She looked at her watch that she never took off and saw that it was a quarter after four.  Emma sat up just as the door was pushed open and Justin stepped inside.

 

“Thanks, I’ve got it from here,” he said to the bellhop who set his bags inside his door.  Justin pulled out his wallet and gave him a tip.  The door closed behind him and he still hadn’t seen her sitting there.

 

Emma wanted to see how long it would take him to see that she was awake, but she really wanted to wrap her arms around him and give him a big kiss.  He looked wiped out.

 

“Justin!” Emma whispered loudly.  Justin’s face lit up when he saw her sitting on the couch.  He forgot all about his bags and walked over to her.  Emma stood up so she could give him a proper hug.

 

“I am so happy to see you,” he lowered his head toward hers so he could kiss her.

 

“I’m happy to see you too,” Emma said as well after he pulled away a little.  She kept her arms around him.

 

“Have you been up this whole time?” Justin asked.

 

“No.  I feel asleep on the couch and woke up when you came in,” she answered and couldn’t help but kiss him again.  “You look tired.”  Emma reached up and ran her thumbs underneath his eyes.

 

“I am,” the words were followed by a yawn. 

 

“Well let’s go to bed.  We can talk tomorrow,” Emma said as she stepped out his embrace.

 

“Which room did you take?” he asked.

 

“That one,” Emma pointed to the one that his back was facing.

 

“Okay,” Justin said.  “See you in a few hours?”

 

“Mmhmm …” Emma nodded.  Justin kissed her again and they went their separate ways. 

 

*  *  *

 

“Is this okay to wear?” Emma asked.  She and Justin were getting ready to go to the award show.  Emma was wearing a black T-shirt for The Wedding, one of her designs of course, somewhat-tight black jeans, and her black converse shoes.

 

“Its fine,” Justin smiled.  “I like your hair.”

 

“Thanks,” she ran her fingers through the short spiky part in the back, which had enough gel in it to last the next few days.

 

“Is that why you were locked in the bathroom so long?”  Emma had temporarily dyed the front part of her hair, which went down to her chin, blue, and left the short part the black that it all was before.

 

“Uh-huh,” she nodded.

 

“Do you have any of it left?” he asked.

 

“Yeah,” she answered hesitantly.  “Why?”

 

“Can I use it?”  He didn’t wait for her to answer but walked into her room and then the attached bathroom.  Emma followed him.

 

“I suppose.”  She shrugged and stepped into the bathroom with him.  “No one’s going to give me dirty looks are they?”

 

“No,” he laughed.  “Dye this part.”  Justin pointed to the top of his head where he had managed to comb his hair into a faux-hawk.

 

“All right,” Emma grabbed the bottle of dye and he sat down on the closed toilet lid.  “This only lasts a week at the most.”

 

“Okay,” he smiled up at her. 

 

“What?”  Emma asked as she started to comb the dye into his hair.  He was just sitting there with a stupid grin on his face, watching her.

 

“You’re just cute,” he responded sincerely.  Emma blushed, yet kept her focus on the task at hand.

 

“Like it?”  Emma asked after she finished the process of dying it and reshaping the faux-hawk for him.  Justin stood up and checked himself out in the mirror.

 

“Sweet.”  He grinned just as the phone rang.  “Car’s here,” Justin said. “Thanks.”  He kissed her lips and walked out of the room to grab the phone.  Emma turned off the bathroom light and walked to the living room.

 

“Ready?”  Justin asked as he hung up the room phone.

 

Emma nodded and picked up her driver’s license and cell phone.  She stuck both in her front pocket.

 

“You’re going to bring that?”  Justin asked in reference to the phone.

 

“Yes,” Emma answered.  “You know I feel naked without it.”

 

“Naked, huh?”  Justin wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

 

“Shut it,” Emma shoved him playfully and rolled her eyes.  “The car’s here.”

 

Justin opened the door and let her walk out first.  He grabbed her hand as they walked down the hallway to the elevator, followed by a couple of his security guards.

“So I know we haven’t talked about it, but if it gets asked, which it probably will because you’re going to be right there, should I say you’re my girlfriend?”  Justin asked once they were headed to the resort where the award show was.

 

“Hmm …” Emma thought about it.  “Man, that’s hard you know?  Not that I don’t love the title,” she grinned.  “I just don’t want all that attention that comes with being your girlfriend.”

 

“Do you think I could get away with just being your ‘date’?” 

 

“We can try,” he just shrugged and kind of laughed.  He knew that plan more than likely would not work, but he figured it was worth a shot.

 

“As long as my last name is left out of it, I think I can manage,” she responded honestly. 

 

“Okay,” Justin said.  “And are you prepared to be in photos?”

 

“I am,” Emma sighed.  She was going to have to get used to this, but was thinking it might just be worth it.  Justin kissed her.  It definitely was.

 

“I want to tell you something, but I don’t know if this is the best time to do it,” he said quietly, only a couple of inches away from her mouth.

 

“What’s that?” Emma responded just as quietly.  She stared into his eyes.

 

“I love you,” Justin answered.  In a limo, on the way to the Video Music Awards, was not how he wanted to tell her, because she deserved a big deal, but he couldn’t keep it in any longer.  “Is that crazy?  I mean … this is only the third time we’ve seen each other.  But I just …”

 

“It is crazy,” Emma smiled, “but I love you too.”  Justin breathed a sigh of relief and kissed her again.  He put his hand on her cheek and brushed some of the blue strands of hair behind her ear.

 

“I’m glad,” he kissed her again.  “I would have done that in a completely different manner, but I couldn’t keep it in any longer.”  Justin explained as the car pulled up to a stop.

 

“That’s okay,” Emma was floating on cloud nine.  Yeah it was kind of crappy that they couldn’t really talk about it, but she was happy to have him say that to her and return the same feelings to him.

 

“Ready for the insanity?”  Justin grinned as the driver opened the door for them to step out.

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Emma smiled. 

 

Justin gave her a quick kiss; he felt so free getting that off of his chest.  It had been what he was thinking when they were in her bathroom, and she was combing blue dye into his curls.

 

“We’ll talk later,” he said referring to the words they just exchanged.

 

“Okay,” Emma responded.  Justin squeezed her hand and then turned to slide out of the limo.  Emma followed him and was stunned by the camera flashes that were going off. 

 

“Told ya,” Justin smiled at her reaction.

 

They spent almost two hours on the red carpet while Justin talked to every reporter under the sun (only half of them asked about his hair).  Emma was happy that no one really asked who she was, and that she only had to be in a few photos with Justin, because he had insisted.

 

When they made it inside the auditorium, Justin held onto her hand so they wouldn’t get separated.  Every other person they walked past Justin had to stop and talk to.  He knew everyone, and there was no way Emma would remember any of them.

 

By the time they sat down Emma’s head was spinning.

 

“You know too many people,” she said.  Justin was sitting to her left, and she was sitting as close to him as she could possibly get with the armrest in the way.  “There is no way I will remember all of them.”

 

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Justin laughed.

 

“Do you think it would be okay if I took a picture?”  She asked him looking around the expansive space that was filling with celebrities.

 

“Of what?”

 

“Us, on my phone,” Emma answered.

 

“Go for it,” he answered.  Justin didn’t really care if someone said anything about it.  Emma reached into her pocket to pull out her cell phone.  Her driver’s license came fluttering out with it.

 

“Whoops,” she said when it fell on the floor.  Emma bent over to pick it up.  “Do you think you could put this in your wallet so I don’t lose it?”

 

“Sure,” Justin slid down in his seat so he could pull his wallet out of his back pocket.  He took her ID and put it in the section behind his own.

 

“Thank you,” Emma said as she pulled up the camera setting on her phone. “Ready?”

 

“Uh-huh,” Justin slipped his arm around her shoulder as she leaned her head in toward him.  Emma held up the phone and counted so he would know when she took the picture.

 

She looked at it.

 

“Juss … tiinnn …” she dragged out his name when she saw the silly face his was making in the picture.

 

“What?” He asked innocently.

 

“Redo,” she stated.  Emma retook the photo and this time he smiled nicely.  “Thank you.”

 

“No problem,” Justin smiled and kissed the top of her head.

 

Emma was reminded why she never watches MTV throughout the entire show.  Justin could tell Emma was uncomfortable, but she put on a smile for him especially when he won.

 

“Did you have fun tonight?”  Justin asked Emma.  They were in the car on the way back to the hotel after one of the 80 parties he had been invited to.  Justin knew she didn’t have the best time of her life.

 

“It could have been better,” she answered honestly.  “I’m happy that you won though.  I know everyone works hard in this business.  So I’m sure you deserve it.”

 

“Thanks,” Justin said.  He slid over in the seat so he was right next to her.  “Thank you for putting up with it.”

 

“Anything for you,” Emma smiled and reached for his hand.  “Oh, I was going to ask, there’s this musician I like, Kevin Max, and he’s going to be at some place called The Viper Room in LA on Thursday, do you think we could go?”

 

“Sure,” he shrugged.  “I’ll make some calls.”  Justin didn’t really care what they did as long as she was going to be there.

 

“Cool,” Emma rested her head on his shoulder and yawned.

 

*  *  *

 

Emma’s jaw dropped when Justin’s entire house came into her view.  Justin loved watching her reaction to some things. 

 

“Justin,” Emma rolled down the tinted window and stuck her head out so she could see it better.  “This is ridiculous.  What does one person need this much for?”  She sat back in the seat and looked at him. 

 

“Don’t know,” he replied as the SUV pulled to a stop at the front door.  Emma shook her head at his response and hopped out of the vehicle.  Justin got out behind her just as the front door opened and his dogs bolted out to greet them followed by Trace Ayala.

 

“Hey puppies,” Emma grinned and held out her hand for them to sniff.  When they decided she was okay and started to sniff her shoes, she reached down and patted their backs. 

 

“These are my babies, Buckley and Brennen,” Justin pointed to each one as they continued to bounce around their feet and greet Justin.  “What’s up dude?” Justin greeted Trace.

 

“Waitin’ for you,” Trace answered and turned to look at Emma. 

 

“Emma,” Justin grabbed her left hand, “this is Trace Ayala. Trace this is Emma Sarver.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Emma reached out to shake his hand with a smile.  “Justin talks about you all the time.”

 

“Uh-oh …” Trace raised his eyebrows.

 

“It’s all good, I promise,” Emma smiled and then turned her attention back to Buckley who had decided to jump up on her.  “What?”  She asked him and placed a kiss on his head.

 

“Ready to go in?”  Justin asked her and grabbed Buckley’s collar so he would get down.  “If they jump up just knee ‘em … they need to learn.”  Justin started to walk so Emma followed him.  He and Trace started talking about the VMAs as they walked into the house. 

 

They stopped in the foyer and Emma’s jaw dropped.  Justin laughed. 

 

“You have the best reactions,” he stated and threw his arm over her shoulder before kissing the top of her head.

 

“What?  I’m just from pokey Arkansas,” she grinned up at him.  Justin couldn’t help but kiss her on the lips this time. 

 

When the driver walked into the foyer with their bags, Justin and Trace started to talk to him about the plans for the week. 

 

Emma’s eyes lit up when she saw the grand piano sitting in his living room.  She forgot all about the two dogs at her feet and walked over to it.  Her fingers ran over the smooth surface and she sat on the bench.

 

Justin and Trace didn’t even notice she disappeared.  Emma didn’t think he would mind if she played it, so she did.  It had been a while since she had, but it was something she would never forget.

 

“You play?”  Justin asked.  He sat down on the bench next to her.

 

“Not a lot,” Emma said and stopped playing.  “What’s that?”  She asked him noticing the pieces of paper in his hand.

 

“Full access passes to the show you want to go to,” Justin answered and held them up for her to see.

 

“Really?”  She was excited now.

 

“Yup,” he nodded; happy that she was happy.  “Trace got them for us.”

 

“Thank you Trace!”  Emma turned to face the kitchen where he was standing with a beer in his hand.

 

“No problem,” Trace replied.  She was a sweet Southern girl, which you wouldn’t think from her outward appearance, and he knew she would be good for Justin.

 

“You want a tour?”  Justin asked her.

 

“Sure,” Emma smiled and slid off of the bench just as her cell phone rang.  She pulled it out of her pocket and answered it.  “Trevor!”

 

“Hey Emmy-Leigh,” he said.  “Guess what.”

 

“What?”  Emma asked getting excited because he sounded excited.  Justin grinned seeing how happy she was to talk to her brother.  Trace gave Justin a weird look, and Justin mouthed ‘brother’ so Trace would know.

 

“We’re going on tour with Relient K.”

 

“Relient K?  Seriously?”  Emma could not help but squeal a little bit.  “I am so happy for you guys.  You deserve it so much Trevor.  When are ya’ll going to hit the road?”

 

“In November.”

 

“So soon?”  She asked.

 

“Yeah.  I think it was a last minute thing, but it’s going to be for a month just at small venues,” Trevor answered. 

 

“Well you have to get Thiessen to do ‘But a Breath’ on stage with you guys,” Emma said.  She walked over to the window and looked out at the vast yard behind the house.

 

“Do you think you could come out with us for a while?  It just works out so much easier with the merchandise and stuff.” 

 

“Hmm,” Emma sighed.  “I don’t know Trev.  I’ll see what I can do.  I might not be able to be there the whole time, but maybe on the weekends.  Let’s talk about it more when I get back home, okay?”

 

“Okay.  So are you in LA yet?”

 

“Yeah, we just got to Justin’s.  He was just about to show me around his house,” Emma answered.  “You should see this place, it’s ridiculous.” 

 

“I’m sure it is,” Trevor laughed.  “I’ll let you go Emmy.  Love you.”

 

“Love you too Trevor.  Bye.”  Emma hung up her cell phone and turned to look at Justin and Trace who were laughing about something in the kitchen.  Emma was really happy for her little brother and friends.

 

“How’s your brother?”  Justin asked when she walked up and stood next to him.

 

“He’s good,” she grinned.  “They’re going on tour with Relient K in November.  It’s so exciting … I mean, like, Relient K is kind of the band in Christian music.  And it’s just so cool.  Plus those guys are so sweet.  Matt Thiessen did background vocals on ‘But a Breath’.  And it’s … yeah.”  She rambled excitedly.

 

“That’s cool,” Justin chuckled.  “Are you ready for that tour now?”  Emma nodded and let Justin take her hand as he walked her through his monstrosity of a house.

 

*  *  *

 

Justin knocked on the bedroom door softly.  It was late and the light from the room Emma was staying in was streaming out under it.  They had spent the last couple of days traipsing around LA because Justin had some meetings and interviews to do.  Emma didn’t mind tagging along, but the rest of the time would be hers until Monday when his concert was.

 

“Yeah?” She asked and looked up from the book she was reading.

 

Justin opened the door and stuck his head in.

 

“You’re still up?” He asked the obvious.

 

“Yup.  I couldn’t sleep, so I’m reading,” Emma held up her Bible to show him.

 

“Can I come in?”  Emma nodded and Justin stepped inside the room.  There wasn’t anywhere for him to sit, except the bed, so he just stood there.

 

“You can sit,” Emma patted the empty spot on the bed next to her, “I don’t bite.”  He sat down next to her and brought his legs up onto the bed.

 

“Wow,” Justin said when he caught a glimpse of the highlighting, underlining and hand-written notes in the margins of her Bible.  “You really read that a lot.” 

 

“I read 10 chapters a day in the Old Testament and two from the New everyday.  And when I’m bored or can’t sleep – like now – I read whatever I happen on,” Emma explained.

 

“Read to me,” Justin said and leaned back against the headboard after adjusting the pillow, “whatever you’re reading now.”

 

“Okay,” Emma said and started to read aloud to him. 

 

Justin enjoyed listening to her read something that she was really passionate about.  He could feel every word she spoke.

 

“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.  For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life?  Or what will they give in return for their life?

 

“‘For the Son of Man is to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay everyone for what has been done. Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.’

 

“Any thoughts?”  Emma asked him after she finished the section.  She was curious to hear what he might have gotten out of that.  Emma looked over at him and could tell he was thinking about it.  She left him to his thoughts and read to herself for a while longer.

 

“You know it’s really hard to do that,” Justin finally spoke up.  “The whole self-denial thing.”

 

“I know,” Emma replied and met his eyes.  “I don’t think I will ever achieve that.”

 

“Really?  I think you do a pretty good job,” he stated honestly. 

 

Emma would never agree with that statement, but they talked about it some more before eventually discussing something else.  Emma closed the Bible and turned so she could set it on the nightstand.

 

“Wait a sec, is that a tattoo?”  Justin asked.  He sounded shocked.  He had never seen it before because she was always fully clothed, but right now she was wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top.

 

“Yes,” she answered and turned to look back at him.  “Why are you so surprised?  You’ve seen the people I hang out with.”

 

Justin laughed.  “I know.  You’re just always so covered up.  Let me see.”  Emma obliged his request by turning back around.  The tattoo was between her shoulder blades. The Celtic cross with the words “Life is but a breath …” above it was about four inches in height and three in width.

 

“Isn’t that one of your brother’s songs?”  He asked.  Justin wanted to run his fingers over it, her skin looked so smooth, but he refrained because he wasn’t sure what her reaction would be.

 

“You’ve been listening.”  Emma stated and figured he’d looked long enough so she turned back around.

 

“Uh-huh.  You got any other tattoos?”  Justin asked.

 

“A couple,” Emma shoved the comforter and sheet off of her, and bent her legs so she could show him the ones on the back of her calves.  She moved the pajama pant legs up.  “This one is just another cross, it was my first one, and this is for the Trinity.”  Emma pointed to the one on her right leg that had three interlaced circles and the letters F, S, and HS.

 

“Trevor and I are going to go again in a few weeks, but I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”

 

“How about ‘Justin’,” he suggested.

 

“You’re stupid,” Emma laughed as she readjusted her pant legs.  “Besides I would never tattoo a guy’s name on my body.”

 

“Oh fine,” Justin pouted.  “Wanna see mine?”  He sounded like a little kid.

 

“I’ve seen yours,” Emma replied.  He had been walking around in just khaki shorts earlier that day, and she had a good look at more than she really needed to see.  She pushed up the sleeve on his T-shirt so she could look at the cross tattoo on his arm.  “I like this one.”

 

“Of course you do,” he smiled at her soft touch on his arm.  “So how’d you get so into church and God and stuff?”

 

“Well, you met my Dad and you know he’s a minister.  So there’s that,” Emma shrugged.  “I don’t know. God’s just always been there.  No questions asked.  I wouldn’t know any other way to live.”  She brought her hand back down to her lap.

 

“I admire that,” Justin replied. 

 

*  *  *

 

Emma woke up to loud breathing and the weight of Justin’s hand resting on her waist.  Even with a good foot of space between them both, she wasn’t happy that they had fallen asleep in the same bed.

 

“Justin,” Emma said.  He didn’t stir.

 

“Justin.”  She reached out and poked his arm.  Justin still didn’t stir.  It took five or six more pokes and eventually saying his name above her normal voice level to wake him up.

 

“What?”  He blinked and let his eyes adjust to the light that was still on.

 

“You need to go to your room.”  Emma said.

 

“Okay … just give me a second.  I need to wake up,” Justin yawned and sat up slowly so all the blood wouldn’t rush to his head.  He leaned over to give Emma a quick kiss.  “Night.”

 

“Night.”  Emma smiled.  Justin stood up and walked out of the room.  He pulled the door shut behind him as Emma turned the light out.  She buried herself under the covers, and she could still smell him on the pillow he had rested his head on.

 

*  *  *

 

The few days they had to do whatever they wanted Justin showed her around LA and the concert she wanted to go to.  Emma and he had enjoyed their time, and it was their last night together.  Unfortunately it wasn’t really going to be spent together because he had to perform.  She had watched his sound check and now she was in his dressing room with him.

 

“I’m going to go explore and find a place to stand,” Emma said.  She was bored.

 

“Okay,” he turned to face her.  Emma stood up and walked over to him.  She wrapped her arms around him and he returned the hug.

 

“Good luck,” Emma smiled and leaned up to kiss him.  “Love you.”

 

“Love you too,” Justin grinned and let her go.  “See you out there?”

 

“I’ll try and get as close to the stage as I can,” she replied and gave him another kiss.  After grabbing a bottle of water from the table, she walked out of his dressing room with a wave.

 

Emma explored the hallways for a while and then walked out into the arena.  The whole set up of his stage was pretty cool.  She liked it and was looking forward to seeing his show.

 

The arena was starting to fill up so she decided to weasel her way up to the front of the stage.  She dropped the pass she had around her neck underneath the T-shirt she was wearing so no one would bug her about it.

 

She struck up a conversation with a couple of girls there, and before she knew it the lights were down and Justin was on the stage.

 

After Justin found her in the crowd, he would glance at her whenever he was on that side.  Emma would smile.

 

She didn’t like a lot of the content of his show and was uncomfortable.  Emma knew he’d ask her what she thought about it, and even though she didn’t want to go down that road, she would be honest whether he liked it or not.

 

After the show, Emma waited for the arena to clear out before she headed backstage.  She figured that would give Justin enough time to shower and put on some clean clothes. 

 

When she got to his dressing room, his bodyguard let her in.  Justin was talking to a couple of people in there, and he smiled when he saw her come in the room.  Emma smiled back, but stayed out of his way until he was finished talking and everyone else cleared out of the room.

 

“So what’d you think?”  Justin asked.  He had a feeling it wouldn’t be the best review he’d ever have, but he wanted to know what she thought about it anyway.

 

“Well,” Emma let out a loud sigh.  “It was definitely interesting.”  She sat down on the couch.

 

“You didn’t like it?”  Justin sat down next to her.  He didn’t sound surprised.

 

“I liked ‘Losing My Way’ and the other slow songs,” Emma brought her legs up under her and leaned into the back of the couch.

 

“But seriously …” she was going to be honest.  “I know you’re a grown man, and sex sells and other hogwash like that … but come on Justin.

 

“Is all that really necessary?”  She asked.

 

Justin, yeah, he wasn’t sure what to say.  Obviously he had known that Emma wouldn’t go for 75 percent of what happened in his show.  His grandmother hadn’t even made that comment – and he was pretty sure she had those same thoughts.

 

“I suppose it’s not,” he shrugged, and turned so he was sitting the same way she was, but facing her.  “But the fans expect a show.”

 

Emma raised an eyebrow at that comment.

 

“So do my brother’s fans.”  She didn’t want to get into a fight a about this seeing as how it was their last night together and all.  “I just think, no I know, you can respect women better that what you display up there, because you respect me.”

 

Emma reached out to put her hand on his jean-clad knee.  She smiled when Justin covered her hand with his.

 

“Obviously you can’t change it now, and I wouldn’t expect you to.”

 

They were quiet for a minute while Justin absorbed what she had said.  Emma stared into his eyes and then leaned in to kiss him quickly.

 

“Sorry,” Emma said.  She felt kind of bad because of all the thoughts that had run through her head while watching his show, and she had just let it all out. 

 

“No … no,” he put his hands on her cheeks so she would keep her gaze on him.  “Don’t ever apologize for being honest.  That’s one of the reasons I love you.”

 

Emma smiled, glad that he wasn’t going to disown her over her feelings about the show.  She shifted closer to him so she could wrap her arms around him, in an awkward hug because of the back of the couch.  He wrapped his arms around her too.

 

“I love you too,” Emma said right before she kissed him.  She really didn’t want to have to leave the following day.

 

*  *  *

 

“Oh, I got you something,” Emma said.  She was getting ready to leave and had already brought her bags down from the room she stayed in.

 

“Okay,” Justin said.  He wasn’t sure what she would have got him, but he was excited to see what she got him.  Who didn’t like presents? 

 

She pulled out a plastic shopping bag from her carry-on, which was also the bag she had been dragging around with her all week.

 

“I got it when we were shopping the other day, and I disappeared into the bookstore,” Emma said as she handed it too him.

 

“Don’t take it the wrong way or anything.  I just thought it’d be nice to get you and I wanted you to have one.  Even though you already might.  And if you want you can read it or not, and we can talk about it or not.  Just whatever …” she shrugged and watched him pull the leather-bound Bible out of the plastic bag.

 

“That’s really nice of you Emma,” Justin said.

 

“You’re not insulted or anything?”  She asked and he nodded “no.”  “Good because sometimes people get weirded about gifts like that.”

 

“Thanks,” he wrapped his arms around her and she cuddled up to him.  “I appreciate it Emma, because it’s something that’s special to you.”  They stood there for a few minutes in each others’ arms.  “I wish we could hang out longer.”

 

“Me too,” Emma looked up at him, “but we both have jobs to do.”

 

“I know,” he pouted.

 

“We’ll see each other soon,” Emma said.

 

“Not soon enough.  I still have to go to go to Australia.”

 

“You’ll have fun,” she kissed him.

 

“No I won’t.  Because I can’t kiss you whenever I want,” Justin sighed, and Emma laughed just before his lips met hers again.  “I’ve really enjoyed this week.”

 

“Me too,” Emma replied.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

They stood together, in his foyer until the doorbell rang, signaling that the car was there to take her to the airport.  Justin sighed and kissed her cheek before walking over to open the door.

 

Justin let the driver in so he could get Emma’s bags and put them in the back.  Justin and Emma walked out to the car, and Justin opened the door for her.

 

“Are you sure you have to leave?”  He asked.

 

“Yes,” Emma sighed.  “I’ll call you when I get to the airport and when I get home.”

 

“Okay,” Justin sighed and wrapped his arms around her again.  “Be safe.  Call me, e-mail me, text me … whenever, okay?”

 

“Got it,” Emma said into his shoulder and then lifted her head up so she could get one last kiss in.  She was not going to cry.

 

“Love you,” Justin mouthed and put his hands on her cheeks so he could kiss her again.  Eventually he would have to let go, and unfortunately for the both of them she had a flight to catch.

 

“I have to go.”  Emma pulled away and sighed.  She got into the black car.  Justin leaned down with one hand on the roof of the car and one on the door, so that he could give her one more kiss.  “Bye.”

 

“Bye,” Justin said and pulled himself upright.  He closed the door for her.  Justin stepped back as the driver put the car into gear and pulled away from the front door slowly. 

 

He watched the car go down the drive, and before it completely disappeared the back window rolled down and Emma waved.  Justin missed her before she had even walked out of his house five minutes before.

 

 

Christmas 2007

 

“So how is Justin doing?” Karen, Emma’s mother, asked her.  It was Christmas Day, and they were doing their immediate family celebration before heading over to her maternal Grandparents’ house.

 

“He’s doing good,” Emma replied as she poured herself another glass of orange juice.  They had already been to church, eaten breakfast and opened presents.  Now Emma and her mother were cleaning up the kitchen, while Trevor and her Dad, Doug, picked up the living room.

 

“Does he go back out on the road after the holidays?”

 

“No, he finally has a break,” Emma replied, “which he really needs.”

 

“Emma’s in loovveeee,” Trevor teased as he walked through the kitchen dragging a trash bag full of wrapping paper and ribbons.

 

“Trevor,” Emma blushed.

 

“Trevor, leave your sister alone,” Karen said even though she knew it was the truth.  Karen and her husband weren’t entirely sure about Justin, they had met him once and he was nice, but no one would ever be good enough for their daughter.  They just had to trust Emma’s judgment.

 

“But it’s so much fun to pick on her,” Trevor opened the back door so he could take the trash to the bins they kept in the back. 

 

“Are you girls ready to go?” Emma’s Dad asked as he walked into the kitchen.

 

“Yes, I just need you to put those presents in the car,” Karen pointed to the stack of gifts sitting on the kitchen table, and then she opened the fridge door to pull out a couple of casserole dishes and containers. 

 

“Emma take these out to the car.”  She handed the glass dishes to Emma.

 

Emma followed her Dad out to her parents’ car.  They put the stuff in the trunk, and Trevor and Karen came out carrying more food.  It was a five minute drive to her grandparents and after they unloaded the car, Emma’s cell phone rang.

 

She was expecting a call from Justin.  It was nice to at least be in the same time zone.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Emma smiled.  She walked down the hallway to find a quiet place to talk to him.  Emma went into her grandparents’ room and sat down on the rocking chair they had in one corner.

 

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Justin replied.  “What are you up to now?”

 

“Hiding in my Grandparents’ bedroom so I can talk to you,” she answered.  “It’s always a zoo here at Christmas.”

 

“Same here.  I’m at my Dad’s now and my brothers are getting into it as always,” he rolled his eyes.

 

“Boys will be boys,” Emma sighed.  “So are you happy to be in Tennessee?”

 

“It’s always nice to come home,” Justin said.  “I’m so excited that you’re coming out here for New Years.”

 

“Me too,” she grinned.  They hadn’t seen each other since she went to LA. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to fly?  I can still get you a plane ticket,” he offered.

 

“Nope.  I’m good.”  Emma had decided she would drive out to Tennessee because it was only a 5.5 hour drive.  “I like road trips even when you start to go crazy from being in the car so long.”

 

Justin laughed.  “Did you get anything exciting for Christmas?”

 

“Just some clothes I can wear for work and Trevor got me some CDs,” she answered.  “What about you?”

 

“Just some random stuff, I think my family has a hard time coming up with things to get me,” he said honestly.

 

“You are hard to shop for,” Emma stated, “but I managed to come up with something.”

 

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Justin was curious.

 

“You’ll see …”

 

“Okay,” he sighed.  “Is there anything you want to do while you’re out here?”

 

“Just see you.”  Justin could hear her smile through the phone.  They talked for a while longer until Emma had to get back to her family and their Christmas celebration.

 

*  *  *

 

Emma pulled into the driveway of the moderate-sized house.  At least this one wasn’t ostentatious like the place out in LA, but Emma figured since it was mother’s it wouldn’t be too insane.  She had left her house at 8 a.m. and it was now almost 2 p.m. 

 

Emma grinned when she saw Justin walk out from the open garage door.  He had been watching and waiting for her to turn into the driveway.  She put the car in park, turned it off, and hopped out so she could give him the hug she had been wanting to since September.

 

Justin wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up a little as her arms went around his neck.

 

“You cut your hair!”  He sounded surprised when he noticed that the long bangs she had last time he saw her were no longer there and it was just spiky all around.

 

“Yeah,” Emma responded.  “I want to grow it out again.  So I cut my bangs off and now it’s just spiky.” 

 

“Well I like it.  It’s looks good on you,” Justin smiled and finally leaned down to kiss her.

 

“Thanks.”  Emma grinned against his lips and kissed him again.  He lowered her back down without breaking contact.  “I missed you.”  She shivered a little when he pulled away, and she was reminded about how cold it was outside.

 

“Are you cold?”  He asked.  Emma nodded.  “Lets get your stuff out of the car and go in then.” 

 

“Sounds like a plan,” she reluctantly dropped her arms from his neck when he unwrapped his arms from around her.  Emma walked over to her car and unplugged her iPod from the tape adapter and grabbed her bag she had in the front seat. 

 

Justin saw her rolling suitcase in the backseat so he opened the door and grabbed it for her.  They closed the doors at the same time, and Justin took her hand to lead her through the garage and into the house.

 

Emma was nervous to meet his Mom and Step-Dad.

 

“Hey Momma this is Emma,” Justin said when they came into the kitchen, and as a side note to Emma he added, “Dad’s at work.” 

 

“Hi Emma,” Lynn smiled and stood up from the kitchen table so she could greet Emma properly.  “I’m glad you made it here, Justin’s been pacing since you called this morning saying you were leaving.”

 

“Mom,” Justin groaned in an ‘I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that’ manner.  Both Emma and Lynn laughed.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Lynn said. 

 

“You too,” Emma said and set the bag she was carrying on the floor so she could shake Lynn’s hand.  She leaned into Justin when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.  They fit together even though he had about eight inches on her in height.  Emma sighed.  She was so happy to be next to him again.

 

“Where are Buckley and Brennen?” She asked noticing they hadn’t greeted her.

 

“They’re out back.  I figured I’d let you get settled and then have them attack you,” Justin smiled and kissed the top of her head.

 

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” Lynn asked.

 

“I stopped and got something for lunch on the way.  Thank you though,” she replied.  “I do have to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Justin take her bags and show her the guest room,” Lynn said.  “Make yourself at home Emma.”  Justin had informed his Mom that Emma would not be sharing a room with him.  Lynn had been surprised by that and it had only peaked her interest in meeting this new girlfriend of her son’s.  Emma was different and refreshing, and she could already see how Justin could be in love so quickly.

 

Emma smiled politely and then followed Justin out of the kitchen.  He carried her bags.

 

“Here’s your room,” Justin opened the door to a room at the front of the house and they walked in.  “The bathroom’s right there.”

 

“Great,” Emma disappeared into the connected bathroom and closed the door behind her.  When she came out, Justin had already put her bags down on top of the low dresser and was sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“Did I mention how happy I am that you are here?”  Justin pulled her down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

 

“Actually you didn’t, you got distracted by my haircut,” Emma teased and kissed his cheek.  She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.  “I’m happy I’m here too.”

 

“Three months is too long,” he said.

 

“Oh, it went fast and you know it,” Emma lifted her head up and shifted so she could look into his eyes.

 

“No it didn’t.”  He grinned, and Emma knew he was just trying to be difficult.

 

“I want to see the puppies now,” Emma stood up and as soon as she had done that the two dogs came barreling into the room.

 

“Well hello there,” Emma smiled and got down on the floor so she could greet them.  “You’re Mom must have let them in.”

 

Justin slid down to the floor next to her and Brennen plopped her butt in his lap before licking him right across the lips.  “Thanks.”  He wrapped his arms around the 60-pound dog.

 

Buckley was dancing around Emma and licking her face.  She could barely pet him.

 

“Now that’s a welcome … oh, gross!”  Emma started wiping at her tongue when Buckley’s tongue slipped into her mouth for a second.

 

Justin laughed.  He was content sitting there with Emma and his dogs.

 

They hung out with his dogs on the guest room floor for 30 minutes before Emma stood up and walked over to where her bag was. 

 

“Do you want your Christmas present?”  She pulled out the wrapped CD and turned around to face him.

 

“Ooo … yeah,” Justin pushed himself off of the floor and stood up.  “Let’s go get yours and we can open them together.”

 

“Okay,” Emma said.  She and Justin went into the living room where the Harless’ Christmas tree was still set up in front of the window.  The dogs followed.

 

Emma sat down on the couch while Justin bent over to pick up the only gift that was still under the tree.  He sat down on the couch next to her.

 

“You go first,” he said and handed her the box he had.  Emma unwrapped it and took the top off of the white box, and inside that was a black jewelry box.  She opened that and inside was a silver necklace with a Celtic cross hanging from it.

 

“I saw that and it reminded me of your tattoo, so I thought you would like it,” Justin explained.

 

“That’s really pretty Justin,” Emma smiled and fingered the cross.  She decided to take it out and put it on.  “How does it look?”

 

“Beautiful,” Justin reached out and tuned it so it was facing the right way.

 

“Thanks,” she said leaning over and kissing him.  “You’re gift isn’t nearly as fancy …” Emma handed it to him.  “I hope you like it.”

 

“I’m sure I will,” he said confidently as he ripped open the paper to reveal the homemade CD.

 

“So these are some of the current songs I am into,” Emma explained.  “It was the only thing I could think of for you.  There’s a song list on the back and I made a booklet for it that has all of the lyrics in it.” 

 

“Cool,” he said and opened the case so he could flip through the booklet quickly.  “Should we listen to it?”

 

“If you want,” Emma smiled.

 

“Sure.  Then you can tell me why you picked the songs.”  Justin stood up and walked over to the stereo that was in the room.  He put the CD in, and they spent the rest of the afternoon listening to and talking about it.

 

*  *  *

 

The following evening Justin was driving them to Memphis for dinner and some live music at BB Kings on Beale Street.  Emma was looking forward to it because he was excited to take her out in his hometown.  Apparently going out here with him wasn’t the same as in LA because people tended to leave him alone.

 

Emma wanted to watch the scenery they drove past, but it was dark out so she settled on Justin. 

 

“What?”  Justin glanced over at her when he felt her eyes on him.

 

“Nothin’,” Emma’s face turned red and she turned to look out the front windshield.  She didn’t like getting caught staring at him.  They rode on in silence except for the CD she had made him playing over the stereo.

 

When they got to Beale Street, Justin found a place to park near the restaurant.  He made Emma stay in the car so he could walk around and open the door for her. 

 

“Thanks,” Emma said as she zipped up her winter jacket.  Justin closed the door behind her and made sure the doors were locked. 

 

“No problem,” he smiled and grabbed her hand.  They walked the relatively short distance to the front entrance and Justin held that door open for Emma.  Even though the place was really busy, they were led to a table right away.  The table was in the back, but it still had a good view of the stage where there was already a band playing.

 

“So what are you thinking?” Justin asked after they had sat down and were looking at their menus. 

 

“I don’t know,” Emma shrugged.  “It all looks so good.”  Her eyes scanned the menu and then looked over at him.  “What do you suggest?”

 

“Anything,” he replied.

 

“That doesn’t help me,” she sighed and then returned to her menu.

 

“Good evening,” their waiter appeared at the table.  He dropped coasters on the wood table and then set down two glasses of water.  “My name is Mark and I’ll be your waiter can I start you off with something to drink? Or an appetizer?”

 

“I’ll just stick with water for now,” Emma replied when he looked at her first.

 

“I want a shot of Jack and go ahead and bring a Guinness out with that, and,” Justin continued.  Emma thought he was going to order another drink, but instead he got an order of wings.

 

“All right,” the waiter said.  “I’ll be right back with those and to take your order.”

 

“You plan on getting drunk tonight?”  Emma asked, laughing a little bit.

 

“No,” he said sharply even though he knew she was just teasing.  “I just want to chill out with you and listen to some good music.”  Justin scooted his chair over so he was right next to her, and put his arm around the back of her chair.

 

“Good,” she smiled and leaned into him.  The waiter came back a few minutes later.  He set Justin’s drinks down and took their order. 

 

Justin didn’t take the shot until the wings he ordered were brought out.

 

“How can you drink that stuff?”  Emma shuddered as she reached for one of the pieces of chicken in the basket.

 

“It’s good …” he drawled and smiled at her before taking a bite.  “Have you tried it?”

 

“Yes.”  She replied and handed him one of the extra napkins the waiter had set down.

 

“Thanks,” Justin said and wiped his mouth.  They discussed her aversion to his drink of choice for a while and then their food came out.  Each of them tried the other’s food and they chatted throughout the meal.

 

“Does it bother you that I don’t care too much for your music?”  Emma asked Justin after they had finished eating their dinner and were sitting back listening to the musician who was on the stage.

 

Justin turned to look at her.  He was surprised that she would ask that.

 

“No,” he wrinkled his brow.  “If it did I wouldn’t be with you Emma.  Why would you even ask that?”  He pulled away from her a little, but kept his arm on the back of her chair.

 

“I don’t know,” Emma shrugged and shifted when he did.  “I guess I was just curious.”  She stared into his eyes.

 

“Does it bother you that you don’t?”  Justin asked.  Now he was curious.

 

“Kind of … maybe,” Emma wasn’t sure.  She looked away.

 

“Emmy,” Justin dropped his arm down to her shoulders so he could pull her closer to him again.  He wanted her to be confident that it really didn’t matter whether she liked what he did or not.  She rested her head on his shoulder, and he dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. 

 

“Come on now,” he started.  “I know not every loves me.  And maybe it is better that you don’t because I’ll always be knocked down a few rungs when you tell me a song sucks, even if it really doesn’t.”  Justin could feel Emma laugh, which made him smile. 

 

“You’re good for my ego,” he looked down at her, “but in a different way.”

 

Emma shifted her head on his shoulder so she could look at him.  She smiled.

 

“And that is why I love you,” Justin leaned in and kissed her.  When he put his hand on her cheek, he deepened his contact.  Emma sighed.

 

Justin grinned when he pulled away.  He spoke, “You could start a bonfire right now and throw all my CDs into it as a protest, and I wouldn’t care.”

 

Emma laughed and picked her head up off his shoulder so she could turn and face him.

 

“You’re insane,” she stated and leaned in so she could rest her forehead against his.  “And that is why I love you.”  Emma kissed him.

 

“Are you ready to get out of here?”  Justin asked after she pulled away a little.

 

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. 

 

“Okay,” he waved down the waiter to pay their bill.

 

*  *  *

 

Emma laughed at Justin and his brothers as they celebrated another touchdown by Tennessee.  Justin, his brothers and Dad were really into it; and that is what they did on New Years Day, watch the Bowl Games.

 

Even though Emma was pouting about Arkansas’ loss to Missouri, she was still having a good time.  Justin plopped back down on the couch next to her.

 

“Are you still pouting?”  He asked her and reached for his beer that was sitting on the coffee table.

 

“Yes,” she replied.

 

“That’s what you get, rootin’ for a bunch of pigs …” Justin shook his head in shame and brought the bottle up to his lips.  “But if you rooted for the Vols …” He threw a cheesy grin her way.

 

“I will never turn my back on the Razorbacks,” Emma said strongly.  He would never learn.

 

“All right … suit yourself.”  He shrugged and put his arm around her shoulders.  Justin turned his attention back to the TV.

 

“We should go,” Emma said, and Justin looked at her questioningly.  “Next year, if Arkansas and Tennessee play each other we should go to the game.”

 

“That’d be cool,” Justin grinned.  He didn’t know what idea he liked better: having a team rivalry between each other or the thought of still being in a relationship with her in nine or 10 months.

February 2008 

 

Emma picked up the remote control and turned the TV on as she sat down on the couch.  It had been a long day and even though it was Saturday she had gone into work to get some things done.

 

All she wanted to do now was watch a little TV and call Justin.  Emma flipped through the channels quickly and stopped when she saw his name on the bottom of the screen on an entertainment channel, and worse yet a video, apparently from the night before, of a girl kissing him and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it.

 

She turned the TV off as quickly as she could, and her heart broke.

 

Emma was fuming when she picked up her cell phone a minute later.  She wanted to know what happened.  But did she really?

 

“Justin,” Emma spoke sternly.  She couldn’t believe what she just saw on the TV.  She didn’t want to believe it.

 

“Emma?”  He asked.  Justin was confused by the tone of her voice.

 

“Why did I just see a video of you kissing some chick?”  Emma wanted to ask the question calmly, but couldn’t help but be harsh.

 

Justin didn’t know how to respond, because he knew exactly what she was talking about.  He had messed up and messed up badly.

 

“I’m sorry?”  It came out more like a question.

 

“Bye Justin.”  Emma said quietly.  She didn’t want to hear any explanation so she simply hung up, and when she did that, the tears started to fall.

 

Emma was hurt.  She loved him.

 

Her phone rang, but she ignored it knowing that it was Justin.  Emma curled up on the couch, not even bothering to wipe the tears from her face.  She knew Trevor was going to be home any minute, and as much as she wanted to be left alone about it, he would find out sooner rather than later.

 

Emma was alone with her thoughts and the phone ringing over and over again for 20 minutes before Trevor came into the house followed by Cody.  They two were laughing about something until they spotted her lying on the couch in tears and heard her cell phone ringing.

 

“What happened?”  Trevor walked over to her and she started to tear up again.  Trevor fumed when he saw Justin’s name on her cell phone.  Obviously he was who she was avoiding and the reason why she was crying. 

 

He picked up the phone and hit answer, “What did you do?”

 

It wasn’t a very happy question.  Trevor left the living room so he could yell at Justin without Emma having to hear it all.

 

“Justin?”  Cody asked quietly.  He sighed when Emma nodded and wiped her eyes.  Cody sat down on the other end of the couch and looked at one of his best friends.

 

“He’s stupid Emma.  He doesn’t even deserve the time of day from you.”  Emma didn’t say anything.  “Come here.”  Cody held his arms open so she would sit with him.

 

Emma sighed and then moved so she was leaning against him with her head on his shoulder.  Cody wrapped his arms around her the best he could.  They could hear Trevor’s voice carry from where he was in the den.

 

Trevor walked back into the living room doing his best to relax.  He sighed when he saw Emma curled up against Cody.  The two guys looked at each other, and Cody understood fully what had happened.

 

“Emmy-Leigh do you want some cocoa?”  Trevor asked quietly.  He knew that’s what she liked to drink when she was upset. 

 

Emma nodded her head “yes” in response.  He was the best little brother.

 

“Okay, I’ll go make you some,” he sighed and walked out of the living room.

 

“How could he do that to me?”  Emma asked Trevor sadly when he came back into the living room.  He handed her the mug and hot pad so she wouldn’t burn her hands.

 

“I don’t know Em, I don’t know,” Trevor sighed.  He sat down in the chair.

 

“I love him,” she teared up again.  Emma couldn’t even drink her hot chocolate.

 

Trevor really hated to say this because of how hurt his sister was, but he heard how sorry Justin was over the phone.  “I know … he loves you too Em.”

 

Emma sobbed.  Cody sighed and took the mug out of her hands so she wouldn’t spill it.  He wrapped his arms around her tighter, and she moved so she could curl up in his lap.

 

“Why’d you say that, dude?”  Cody sighed again.

 

“I don’t know … he just sounded really pathetic,” Trevor ran a hand through his hair.

 

Cody just shook his head and some of his hair fell into his eyes when he looked down at Emma.  She was wiping her nose with the back of her hand and sniffling.  Her phone rang again and Trevor looked at it.

 

“Do you want to talk to him?”  Trevor asked.  He couldn’t believe Justin was trying to call again.  Well maybe he could because Justin really did sound pitiful on the phone.

 

“No,” Emma said. 

 

Trevor hit the “busy” button on the phone and then just turned it off.

 

*  *  *

 

Emma didn’t even go to church or to her parents’ house on Sunday, which is what she always did.  She knew they were concerned but figured Trevor would explain it all to them.  It had been a crummy weekend, and when she walked into work Monday morning Bryan pointed it out.

 

“You look like crap,” Bryan said noticing how tired she looked.

 

“Thanks,” Emma sighed and dropped her bag on the floor under her desk.  Then she dropped herself into her desk chair causing it to roll backward a bit.

 

“What’s wrong?”  He asked rolling back from his computer a little so he could get a good look at her.

 

“Justin,” Emma teared up a little at the mention of his name.  She was tired of talking and thinking about him.

 

“What’d he do?”  Bryan narrowed his eyes.

 

“Kissed someone else,” she sighed and took her eyes off of him.  Emma angrily jabbed at the power button on her computer.

 

“What a jerk.”  Bryan stated and turned back to his computer screen.  He figured she was tired of the whole thing, so he left it alone.  It was quiet for a few moments. 

 

“I want to drop his project.”

 

“What?” Bryan was shocked.  At some point in January, Justin had asked them to redo and maintain the WilliamRast Web site.  That meant big bucks and major name recognition for 479design.  And that was what they wanted for their company; to take it to the top.

 

“I can’t do it Bryan,” Emma sighed and leaned back in her chair.  “I know it screws up our plans to hire a few more people and to grow … but I just don’t want to deal with him right now.”

 

“What if I just do it?”  Bryan suggested.  “You wouldn’t have to deal with it.  I won’t even talk on the phone with them if you’re here.”  He really didn’t want to drop the project.  It was worth too much for the company.

 

“Ugh … I don’t know.”  She knew how much it meant to him to take 479 to the next level.  Emma wanted that too.  “You promise?”   

 

“Of course.  Give me all you have on it now and you don’t ever have to look at it again.”  

 

“Everything’s in the shared folder,” Emma said.

 

“Perfect,” Bryan smiled and turned back to his computer screen.  “I’ll just take it out of there and keep it on my computer.”  He found the folder on the shared drive and moved it to his computer desktop.

 

“K,” Emma sighed and opened the file folder on her desk for the newsletter she was working on for a local company.

 

“Why don’t you go see Fefe,” Bryan suggested.

“You know she hates that,” Emma looked around her computer screen at him.

 

“I know.  That’s why I call her that.”  He grinned back.  Emma just shook her head.  “Seriously though, you should go to New York and just chill out.  Maybe do some painting.”

 

Fefe, as Bryan so affectionately called her, was Felicia Faye Jones, a friend of theirs from college.  They had all gotten their Bachelor of Fine Arts degrees together and had been friends from the moment they met in drawing one, so many years ago. 

 

After they had graduated from Arkansas, Fee had moved on to NYC to get her MFA at the Pratt Institute.  Now she was a painter, barely making it, but she loved it.  Bryan and Emma hadn’t seen her since she left in 2004, right before they opened 479design.

 

“Do it,” Bryan encouraged.  He knew she was debating.

 

“Are you sure?”  Emma asked.  “I feel like every time I turn around I’m going somewhere and leaving you here to fend for yourself.”

 

“It’s not a problem,” he shrugged.  Bryan understood, and he knew that Fee would come up with something crazy for Emma that would take her mind off of and forget about Justin with.

 

“It could be fun,” Emma perked up.  She knew it would.

 

“Call her,” Bryan pointed to the phone that was at the edge of her desk.

 

Emma reached for the black phone and dialing ‘nine’ to get out she punched in Fee’s cell phone number.  Emma put it on speaker knowing that Bryan would want to get in on the conversation.

 

“Hello?”  They heard Fee’s voice over the line.

 

“Fee!” 

 

“Fefe!”

 

“Emmy! Bryan …” The first greeting was very cheerful while the latter was scolding.  “Beat him up for me Emma.”  Felicia grinned over the phone.

 

Emma laughed and Bryan scowled. 

 

“What do you think about having a visitor?”  Emma asked resting her arms on top of the desk.

 

“Really?  That would be sweet!” Fee sounded excited.  “When?”

 

“Soon, I guess.”  Emma shrugged, but she was excited too.  “Bryan’s trying to get rid of me.”  Fee laughed.

 

“Whatever,” Bryan scoffed and turned back to his computer screen.

 

“Well, yeah, just let me know … we’ll have some fun,” Fee said.  “It’s been for-ev-er.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Emma sighed.  “I’ll look for flights later and let you know.”

 

“Cooolll,” she drawled out.  “So how’s Mr. JT?”

 

“Ugh …” Emma groaned and dropped her head onto the desk.

 

“Uh-oh,” Felicia said when she heard that over the line.

 

“Justin cheated on Emma,” Bryan spoke up.

 

“What a jerk!”

 

“That’s what I said.”  Bryan reached over his desk and Emma’s to pat the top of her head.  She was still laying there with her head on her desk.

 

“Well …” Felicia started, “when you get out here we’ll bash boys and do some painting.”

 

Emma giggled as she picked her head up off of her desk.  Bryan was smirking.  They knew exactly what she was suggesting.  Whenever Fee broke up with someone when they were in college, she and Emma would make a big canvas, spend a week painting a portrait of the guy, and then “destroy” it with more paint in about five hours.

 

It was a creative way of venting and releasing the frustration.

 

“I’ll get started on it today,” she was itching at the bit to do just that.  To Fee, “angry” painting always turned out the best.

 

*  *  *

 

“Home sweet home,” Fee said as she opened the door to her loft.  The space was flooded with light and was completely open with 15-foot ceilings.

 

“Nice,” Emma grinned as the smell of paint drifted to her nose.  To the left there was the kitchen, and just off of that was the door to the bathroom and a bed stuffed into the corner.  There was also a couch, which was splattered with paint, in the middle of the room surrounded by Fee’s painting supplies and hundreds of stacked canvases.

 

“Isn’t it great?” Felicia sighed and looped her arm through Emma’s.  “I am so excited that you are here.”  The door closed loudly behind them.

 

“Definitely,” Emma said and dropped her bag on the floor.  She would get it later.

 

“So where is it?”  Emma asked.  Fee had talked the entire time they were in the cab from the airport about the portrait, which she worked on non-stop for the past couple of days and had completed, and Emma wanted to see it.

 

“It’s right here.”  She walked over to the couch and Emma followed, their arms still linked.  They turned to face the wall with the door they had just walked through, and there it was a 6’ by 8’ canvas painted with a very life-like Justin staring right back at them.

 

“You’ve gotten much better at portraits,” Emma smirked.  That hadn’t been Fee’s forte during school. 

 

“Thanks,” Fee rolled her eyes. 

 

Emma and Fee stood there, watching him watch them back.  Emma sighed loudly and plopped down onto the couch.

 

“How about, a drink?”  Fee asked looking at Emma and then walking over to the fridge.  She pulled out two bottles of beer and handed one to Emma when she sat on the couch next to her.

 

“Fee …” Emma looked at the beer bottle, pathetically.  She really was not a drinker.

 

“I know,” Fee said.  “Just to relax a little.  Okay?”  

 

Emma nodded and popped the top off.  She turned the metal cap in her fingers and brought the bottle up to her lips.  Justin was still watching her.

 

“I don’t think I can do this,” Emma stated after she had finished her drink.  They hadn’t said anything in 30 minutes.  They just sat and stared at the portrait Fee had painted.

 

“He’s just … he’s too beautiful.”  She wasn’t just talking about the portrait in front of them, leaning against the wall, waiting to be vented over.  “I want to forgive him.”  Emma pulled her eyes away from the ones in the painting and turned to look at Fee.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because … I have too,” Emma wiped at her eyes.  “Because I love him.”

 

“You did fall hard,” Felicia could see how much she did love him; does love him.  She reached over and grabbed a tissue out of the box that was sitting on the floor and handed it to Emma.

 

“I did.”  Emma wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

 

“You know, maybe it’s kind of what you needed.  ‘Cause you thought it was going kind of fast.  You guys have only seen each other, what four or five times?  And you’re already saying you love each other.”

 

“I guess,” she shrugged.  Emma’s eyes met Justin’s painted ones.  “He’s different though.”

 

“He kissed someone else.”  Fee reminded her.

 

“Ugh …” Emma slouched back into the couch and closed her eyes at the reminder.  She wanted to call Justin and let him know that she forgave him.  “I want to call him.”  It looked and sounded like she was asking for permission.

 

“I’m not gonna stop you, Em.”  Fee was watching her.  “I can tell that you’re miserable.”

 

“Thanks.”  Emma let out a little laugh.  She scooted off of the couch and walked over to her bag so she could dig her phone out.  Emma wasn’t sure what she would say to him if he picked up the phone.  She was pretty sure he would answer because he had called her at least once a day since she saw the video.

 

Her friend gave her a supportive smile as she sat back down on the couch.

 

Emma scrolled through the contact list until his name came up.  She stared and after a minute, finally hit “call”.

 

“Hey,” Justin’s voice sounded so hopeful over the phone.  She was finally gonna talk to him.

 

“Just listen, okay?”  Emma asked.  His silence meant that he was going to do just that, so she spoke.  “I forgive you.”

 

“You do?”  He sounded relieved.  “Does that mean …” Justin trailed off.

 

“No.  I just,” Emma rubbed one of her eyes with the palm of her free hand.  “I have to forgive you for myself.  But I still … I still want some time.”

 

“However long, I don’t care Em …” Justin sighed.

 

“We just … we need some space.  I think we both fell really fast, for not seeing each other all the time, and I just, I don’t want to be hurt again.”

 

“I promise.  I know how shitty it is, and I am so mad at myself for it.”  He continued, “I won’t even look at another woman if I can just be with you.”

 

Emma sighed at how pitiful he sounded.

 

“I won’t Emma … I won’t.”  Justin repeated when she didn’t comment.  He just wanted to hold her.

 

“I’m going to go,” Emma said.  She knew if she stayed on the line any longer she would give in and go to wherever he was.  They really did need time though.

 

“Oh-k,” he said sadly.  “I love you Emmy.”

 

“I know Justin.”  She ended the call.

 

“So …” Fee asked after a couple minutes of silence.

 

“He’s going to give me some time.”  Emma shrugged.  “He sounded really sad.”

 

“He should be.” She said.  They were quiet again.  Fee noticed Emma was staring at the painting again.  “Shall we?”  Fee nodded toward the painting and stood up.

 

“I don’t know …” Emma sighed.  She really wasn’t mad at him.  She was just hurt and wasn’t sure how that could be expressed in destroying the portrait.  It had been too long since she painted.

 

“Come on.”  Fee grabbed her hands and pulled her off the couch.  “At least it’s better than moping.” 

 

“All right.”  Emma kind of grinned.  She couldn’t believe she was about to trash the beautiful painting of the man she loved.

 

“Sweet!”  Fee walked over to a couple of cans of paint.  Emma moved to where she was and helped her get their supplies ready.

 

“Hold on a second!”  Emma said as Fee stood on a stool, holding a can of paint up at the top left corner of the canvas.  She was about to pour some of it out so it would run down that side of the canvas.  “Bryan wanted a ‘before’ and ‘after’ picture.”

 

“Okay,” Fee said.  She flipped the camera phone off while Emma took the picture.  “Tell Bryan that’s for the ‘Fefe’.”  

 

Emma laughed and tossed her phone back onto the couch.  She walked over to the canvas as Fee poured out about a quart of red paint and let it run down the canvas.  Emma caught the dripping paint with the six-inch brush in her hands and dragged it right across Justin’s forehead.

 

“Feel good?” Fee asked.  She knew how much of a stress reliever painting was for herself and for Emma.  Emma nodded as Fee leaned over so she could tilt the can over the center of the painting and let the paint roll down it there.

 

“It needs some black,” Emma said as she spread the paint across the canvas, slowly covering half of the portrait of Justin.

 

“Ooo … for sure,” Fee hopped down from stool and set the paint can that was in her hands down.   She grabbed the can opener and popped the top off of the black paint.  Fee picked up a brush and stood next to her. 

 

Emma rubbed the rest of the red paint that was on her brush on the drop cloth that was under their feet and dipped it into the black can.  She and Fee started to cover the bottom half of the canvas with the black paint and let it meld into the red. 

 

They always knew what the other one was going for when they painted.  Emma had missed this; painting and hanging out with her best girl friend.  It was very different from creating things with Bryan because they worked solely on the computer, and it was different from hanging out with her brother and Justin, and the other musicians she was almost always around.

 

They worked side by side, for a few hours, barely talking unless one of them had a suggestion.  And when they were done, they stepped back and looked at it.

 

Emma had almost forgotten that there had been a gorgeous portrait of Justin underneath the abstract black and red paint that now covered the canvas.  The top of the canvas had harsh, straight black lines running through the red paint in all directions, while the bottom had soft, curvilinear red lines swirling through the black paint, and in the middle these lines met, mixing and entwining with each other just as the red and black basecoats melded together.

 

Emma could see exactly how she was feeling in the painting that sat before them now.   She couldn’t tell you how or why the painting did express those feelings; it just did.

 

Even though she had already talked to him and forgiven him, Emma still kind of wanted to be mad at him, but she could not.  It was impossible. 

 

She knew that she could be with Justin and be happy.  She wanted him to know that she was serious though, and he couldn’t get away with what he had done, regardless of who he was.  It didn’t matter.  She would make him wait and think about it.  He would just have to.  And so would she.

September 2008

 

It had been seven months since that fateful day in February when Emma had told Justin she wanted some space.  Emma wasn’t going to say that it had been easy because it hadn’t, but it had helped that they had still talked on the phone a few times.  And every time they did he would tell her he loved her.  It was reassuring.

 

And everyday that Emma went to work she saw the painting she and Fee had done.  They had it shipped to Arkansas the day she left because Emma wanted it for herself.  Bryan had helped her hang it up behind the desk in the foyer of the space they rented out.  The painting was a conversation piece for almost anyone who walked into their office, and that made Emma happy.

 

“I thought you guys were talking again?”  Bryan asked Emma.  She was pacing by his desk.

 

“We are,” Emma sighed.  “I just don’t know if I’m ready to see him yet.”  She stopped and leaned forward a little against the edge of his desk. 

 

Justin, Trace, and someone else from WilliamRast were coming into Arkansas to look over some project Bryan was doing for an upcoming winter fashion show.

 

“You want to get out of here?”  Bryan asked her and leaned back in his chair. 

 

“I think I will.”  Emma walked around to her desk to gather her things.

 

“I’ll shut your stuff down,” Bryan said.

 

“Thanks.”  She smiled and put her bag over her shoulder and moved around his desk to give him a hug.  “Bye.”

 

“See ya Monday.”

 

Emma turned to walk out.  Just as she walked into the foyer the front door opened and in walked Justin, Trace, and the third person.  Emma’s heart stopped at the sight of Justin.  He still looked as good as she remembered him too.

 

Justin smiled at her softly, and she returned it before quickly looking down at the faux-wood floor. 

 

“I’m just … uh, Bryan’s back there … yeah, bye,” Emma stuttered as she walked past.  He opened the glass door for her, and she walked out of it.

 

Emma bit her lip as she walked to her car in the parking lot.  She held back the tears.  It was horrible not giving him much recognition, and after seven months of not seeing him she realized how much she really did love him.

 

She unlocked the door to her car and climbed in.  Emma ended up back at her house because there wasn’t anywhere else for her to go.  Plus Trevor was out of town, so he didn’t have to see her sulk around the house.

 

*  *  *

 

Emma jumped when the doorbell rang later that afternoon.  She wasn’t expecting anybody, but she had a good idea who it was.  Emma put her book down and walked over to the door.  She looked through the peephole and saw Justin standing on the other side.

 

Emma leaned her head against the door frame, and he knocked again.

 

She might as well get it over with.  She wanted to be with him again so she unlocked the deadbolt and pulled the door open.

 

“Hi,” Justin said.

 

“Hey,” Emma replied and held the door open farther.  Justin stepped inside, and she closed the door.  They stood there silently, staring at each other.  Both were happy to see and be so close to each other again.

 

“I’ve missed you.”  Justin was the first to speak up.  When he saw her that morning, in her office, he just wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let her go.  As he told her so many months ago: he would never look at another woman if he could just be with her.

 

“Have you had enough time?”  He had to know so he just came right out and said it.

 

Emma bit her lip and looked up at him through her eyelashes.  It was now or never. 

 

“Too much,” she answered honestly.

 

“Oh thank goodness.”  Justin was relieved.  He took one step closer to her and pulled her into his arms. 

 

Emma returned the hug, and she held on to him as tightly as she possibly could.  It felt so good, and she started to cry.

 

“If you ever, ever do anything like that again, you will be out that door faster than you were the first time, and you won’t be back,” she said through her tears but didn’t let him go.

 

“I won’t Emmy,” he said against her hair.  “I promise.  I won’t.”

 

“Good,” Emma said and pulled away a little so she could look up at him.

 

“Can I kiss you now?”  He moved his hands so he was cupping her face, thumbs resting on her cheek bones.  He wiped the tears on her face.  Emma’s eyes answered his question and he didn’t waste a second.

 

“I love you Emmy.”  It felt good to look into her eyes and say that.

 

“I love you too.”  It felt even better to hear her say it back.  It had been too long.

 

They stood on the patch of tile by her front door kissing for a while. 

 

“So Bryan told me that was your painting in the front,” Justin stated when he pulled away.

 

“Oh, yeah?”  Emma questioned.  She wondered what he was getting at and how much Bryan had told her.  She walked over to the couch and sat down.

 

“It’s really nice Emma.”  He followed her and dropped down on the couch next to her.

 

“Thanks.”  She brushed her hair behind her ear.  “I did it with mine and Bryan’s friend, Felicia.  I think I’ve told you about her before.”  Emma turned so she was leaning on her side against the back of the couch with her feet tucked under her.

 

Justin nodded in response.

 

“I went to New York City in February, and we did it in about five hours,” Emma stated.

 

“Really?  It looks like it would have taken longer.”

 

“Well … we were uh, motivated.”  She blushed.  Emma was a little embarrassed to tell him that he was the motivating factor.

 

“What was that?”  Justin grinned and shifted so he could face her.

 

“You?”  Emma said it more like a question.  She could see the questions forming in his head.  “Fee and I have this thing we do when we have boy problems.”  Emma paused and gauged his reaction.  He looked intrigued.

 

“This is embarrassing.”  Emma laughed a little and buried her face in her hands for a second. 

 

“Why?”  Justin asked and took her hands in his.  He entwined their fingers together.  She liked the feeling of his fingers moving between hers.  She had missed that.

 

Emma shrugged but spoke anyway. “In college we would spend about a week painting a portrait of the guy and then we’d paint over it.” 

 

“So that’s what that is?”  He smirked and then started to laugh.  “Interesting.  I guess that’s better than slashing tires or sending hate mail.” 

 

Emma shook her head at his comment and laughter.  She shifted so she could lean against him and wrap her arms around him.  Justin wrapped his arms around her too.

 

“I’m glad you came by today,” she said.

 

“I’m glad you opened the door,” Justin grinned and kissed her forehead.  He had his Emma back, and he wasn’t going to let her go. 

 

She moved again so she wasn’t sitting on her knees, and ended up with her legs across his lap, but she was still able to lean against him.  Justin kept his left arm wrapped around her back, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

 

Emma sighed.  Yeah, she had forgiven him seven months ago and here they were together again, finally, but she was still curious.  When they talked on the phone, it was never brought up.

 

“I have three questions.”  She picked up his right hand and held it in both of hers.

 

“Shoot,” Justin said.

 

“Did you do more with that girl than just kiss her?”  Emma kept her attention on their hands.

 

“No,” he answered.

 

“Why did you kiss her?”  Emma’s eyes shifted up so she was looking at the side of his face.  Justin glanced at her and then moved his eyes back to their hands.

 

“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Justin stated, “which I will never do again.  I lost my mind for a few minutes and completely blew it.”

 

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

 

“The guilt would have eaten away at me and I would of.  I felt so bad about it even while it was happening … I’d take it back if I could.  I lost seven months of my life that I could have had with you.”

 

Emma put her hand on his cheek and turned his face so he was looking at her.  And she picked her head up off of his shoulder so she could kiss him.

 

“Mmm …” Justin pulled away a little.  “What’s your brother going to think about us being back together?”

 

“He’ll be fine because I won’t be sulking around here anymore.”  Emma smiled and Justin let out a little laugh.  She kissed him again.  “So did you guys like what Bryan put together for ya’ll?”

 

“It’s exactly what we were going for,” Justin answered. 

 

“Good.”  Emma pulled out of his embrace and put her feet on the floor.

 

“Where ya goin’?”  He pouted.

 

“I need a drink.  Do you want something?”  Emma asked as she stood up.

 

“Sure.  I’ll just have whatever you are,” Justin answered. 

 

Emma walked into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses from the cabinet.

 

“So The Music Hall is having their ‘Back 2 School Bash’ tonight.  It’s just a bunch of local bands.  Would you want to go?”  She asked him as she put ice into the glasses.  Emma pulled a bottle of Dr. Pepper out of the fridge and poured it into both.

 

“Sure,” he answered as she walked back into the living room.  He took the glass from her hand, and she sat back down next to him.

 

“Would Trace and …” Emma paused.

 

“Jason.”  Justin filled in for her.

 

“Want to come too?”  She took a sip of her soda.

 

“They’re already on their way back to LA,” he answered.

 

“Really?  So I’m stuck with you?”  Emma teased.

 

“Until Monday.”  Justin covered her knee with his hand.

 

“You were that confident that I’d take you back.”  She stated the fact.  Justin nodded.  

 

“You’re lucky I love you.”  Emma shook her head and reached for the remote to turn the TV on.  She sat back on the couch, and he put his arm back around her shoulder.

 

“I know,” he grinned and squeezed her closer to him.  “So should we grab something to eat for dinner on the way?”

 

“Sure.” Emma replied. 

 

*  *  *

 

“Emma!”

 

Emma turned when she heard her name called over the noise of the crowd.  She grinned when she saw Kevin walking toward her and Justin.  He had left The Wedding in the middle of the year last year when he had gotten married.

 

It had been a big change for the band, and for a while Trevor had been worried the band was going to fall apart.  But he had consistently pursued finding a new lead singer, and now The Wedding had not only one, but three new members.

 

“Hey Kev,” Emma smiled and wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug.  “You remember Justin?”  She pointed to her recently reinstated boyfriend.

 

“Yeah.” Kevin gave him a nod.  “How’s it going?”

 

“Good.” Justin returned the nod and moved out of the way when two guys, who were getting a little rowdy, bumped into his arm.  “You?”

 

“Not bad,” Kevin answered with a shrug.

 

“Where’s Jess?”  Emma asked about his wife.  She had to yell when the next band’s set started.

 

“Girls night!”  He yelled back.  “I thought I’d come and support Stephen.”

 

“Nice.”  Emma nodded.  Stephen was his brother who played drums for The Goodnight Fight.  They were one of the bands playing that night.  The two turned their attention to the small stage. 

 

Emma and Justin were standing near the back of the small venue to avoid most of the crowd, which was now surging toward the stage.  Justin moved to stand behind Emma, and she leaned back against him.  He grabbed her hands and held them down by their sides.

 

After a few minutes, Emma started to move a little to the heavy music.  She wanted to go into the crowd.  Emma let go of Justin’s hands and stepped away from him a little.  She turned and looked up at him.

 

“I want to go.”  She yelled.  “You?”

 

“I’ll pass this time.”  He yelled back.

 

“Kev?”  Emma yelled.  He nodded “yes.” 

 

Emma and Kevin disappeared into the crowd.  Justin had no issue with her going into that madness.  She could hold her own with the jumping up and down, pushing and shoving.  He’d seen her do it before. 

 

Justin managed to spot her in the mass of bodies, most of which were bigger than she was, and she was having fun. 

 

“Oh, what the hell,” he said to himself.  Justin pushed his way through the crowd; he would risk a broken arm or leg to rock out with her.  He could show these punk, emo, and rock kids that a pop, hip-hopper could rock to.

 

Emma’s smile grew wider when he appeared next to her, bodies pushing and pulling them in different directions.  Justin grinned at her and just followed her movements.  This was her element, and he was just happy to be apart of it, somehow again.

 

Justin had a forgiving and understanding girl, and he would never take advantage of that again; intentionally or unintentionally.

 

September 2009

 

It had been one year since Justin and Emma reinstated their relationship, and the time had been perfect.  They continued to grow closer to each other, and it was only a matter of time before they took in next step.  In fact, Justin had been thinking about it more and more.

 

Emma was different, and she had changed him whether she realized it or not.  He couldn’t picture his future without her in it, and he was fairly confident that she felt the same way.

 

They had been able to see each other once a month, which was made possible because Justin wasn’t hopping all over the country.  He was just as busy as ever though.  They would switch weekends, and it was Emma’s turn to be out in LA on this particular weekend.

 

“Emma.”  Justin reached out to grab her hand with his free one before she could walk any farther.  He had taken her out shopping for the day and was spending way too much money if you asked Emma.

 

“Yeah?”  She stopped and turned to look at him.

 

“Try this on.”  He pointed to a red dress that was hanging on the rack.

 

“A dress?”  Emma questioned.  They had known each other for two and a half years, and not once had she worn a dress with him or without him.

 

“Yup.”  Justin pulled it off the rack and held it in front of her.

 

“Really?”  She wasn’t sure as she took it in.

 

“Come on Emmy,” he said.  “For me?”

 

“I suppose.”  Emma sighed as she gave in to his pout.  She took the one he had in his hands and looked at the tag.  “I think this will fit.”

 

“It looks right,” Justin said.

 

“Can I help you guys with something?”  A saleswoman approached them.

 

“Yeah.  She’s going to try that dress on,” he said.

 

“Great.”  The woman smiled.  “Follow me.”  Justin and Emma followed her to the back of the store.

 

“Come and show me when you have it on,” Justin said.

 

“Okay.”  Emma smiled.  She followed the lady into the dressing room.  Emma changed into the dress and let the saleswoman zip it up for her. 

 

Emma checked herself out in the mirror.  The red dress fell just above her knees and was low-cut, but still conservative.  She couldn’t believe how different she looked.

 

“Are you done yet?”  They heard Justin’s voice from outside of the dressing room.

 

“Yes,” Emma said.  She turned to walk out of the dressing room.

 

Justin let out a low whistle when she stepped out.  Emma blushed.

 

“Perfect … spin.”  Justin twirled his finger around and Emma complied.  His grin spread across his face when he saw that her tattoo was in full view.  That never happened.  “You have to wear that tonight.”

 

“Tonight?”  Emma questioned.

 

“Yeah.  We’re going out,” he answered.

 

“Um … k,” she replied and looked at the price tag.

 

“Don’t look.”  He walked over to her and grabbed her hands.  Emma let go of the tag when he did that and looked up at him.

 

“That’s too much.”

 

“Not if you look like that.”  Justin checked her out again.  “You need to wear dresses more often.”

 

“The things I do for you.”

 

“Lucky me.”  He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.  Emma groaned and rolled her eyes.  “Go change, and we can get out of here.”

 

*  *  *

 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”  Justin asked.  He really did like her in that dress and the heels, which she had found to go with it.

 

They had barely made it back into his house after dinner, when he stopped her in the middle of his living room, to give her a hug and just hold her for a while.  Justin had wanted to do that all night, but he had refrained to keep the not-so-false rumor mill down to a minimum for Emma’s sake. 

 

Although she had been in a few magazines with him, there hadn’t been a lot of speculation as to who she was much to Emma’s delight.  She would have been tolerant though if it was more; for him she would put up with just about anything.

 

“I think you’ve mentioned it.”  Emma smiled.

 

“Em …” He said quietly after a couple of minutes wrapped in her arms.  Justin put his hands on her cheeks, and his fingers threaded through her hair, which she now wore at chin length.

 

“Hmm …” Emma hummed and looked into his eyes. 

 

Justin rubbed his right thumb over her lips softly and then leaned down to kiss her just as sweetly.  He didn’t really have anything to say; he just wanted to kiss her.

 

“How about a drink?” Justin asked.  He dropped his arms from around her, and Emma pulled away too.

 

“Sure.”  Emma nodded. 

 

Justin walked into the kitchen, and Emma sat down on the couch.

 

“Wine?”  Emma heard him moving around in the room behind her.

 

“That’s fine, as long as you don’t plan on taking advantage of me.” 

 

“I wouldn’t do that.”  Justin knew she was just teasing him.  “You pick out some music.”

 

They always listened to music after they had dinner.

 

“Okay.”  Emma stood up and walked over to the entertainment center.  He had a stack of CDs sitting on one of the shelves, and Emma reached to pick them up.  She looked at the different cases.  Emma smiled when she saw the new CD from The Wedding.

 

“You got the guys’ new one?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied.  “Did I not mention that?”  He walked back into the living room carrying two glasses of wine.

 

“No.  What do you think?”

 

“It’s good.  Want to listen to it now?”  He knew she’d pick that one.

 

“Of course.”  Emma grinned when he walked up next to her.  Justin set the glasses of wine down on the shelf.  The plastic case rattled more than normal, but Emma just figured the CD was loose from its place.

 

When she opened it, her jaw dropped.  Instead of the CD, there was a white-gold ring with a diamond set in it, and around the band there were smaller ones along with a little design engraved in it.

 

“Justin?”  She looked up at him with a question in her eyes.

 

He picked up the ring from the plastic case and got down on one knee.  Emma covered her mouth with the hand that Justin hadn’t taken in his own.  Its not that they hadn’t talked about marriage, but Emma was still surprised.

 

“I could drag this out forever, how much you mean to me, but I know that you already know all the reasons why I love you.  I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else.”  He swallowed heavily. 

 

“Emma Leigh will you marry me?”

 

“Yes, yes, yes …” Emma laughed at the unintentional rhyme in the proposal and out of shear happiness.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.  Justin wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer to him.

 

“It’s nice to see that you’re so excited.”  Justin grinned when she pulled away from their kiss.  “Hand.”

 

“Oh yeah.”  Emma giggled and brought her left hand in front of him again.  He was still on one knee, and after he slipped the ring on her finger, he stood up.

 

“Perfect.”  He admired the ring and then threaded his fingers through hers.  Justin kissed her.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Emma replied.

 

“Shall we toast?”  Justin turned to pick up the glasses.  He handed Emma hers.

 

“To us …”

 

“To us,” Emma replied.  “And many happy years.”

 

“And many happy years.”  They clinked their glasses together, and each took a sip of the wine.

 

“You know we’re living in Arkansas, right?”  Emma grinned after she had taken another sip.

 

“Wherever you want, Emma.”  Justin didn’t care where they lived as long as he could come home to her.  Wherever she was, was home because that’s where his heart was.

 

“So …” Emma looked up at Justin.  “There’s something I always wanted to do when I got engaged.”

 

“Oh yeah?”  Justin brought his glass down from his lips.  He looked at her curiously.  “What’s that?”

 

“Pray with that person,” Emma said. 

 

“Oh … okay.”  He shrugged.  Honestly, it had been a while since he had really prayed, let alone with someone else. 

 

“We don’t have to.”  Emma knew that he was slightly uncomfortable with that idea. 

 

“Let’s do it,” Justin said with a smile.  He grabbed Emma’s hand and led her over to the couch.  They set their glasses down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch facing each other. 

 

“Ready?”  Emma grabbed both of his hands in hers, and Justin nodded.  Emma smiled before she started.

 

“Father, I want to thank you for the relationship Justin and I have with each other.  I am so thankful that you have brought him into my life, and I know that you will continue to open his heart, mind and soul to what it is that you have to offer him.  I have been blessed to have been a part of his growth so far and I can’t wait for more. 

 

“May we always be open and honest with each other during both the good and bad times.  Continue to bless our relationship, be the third person in our relationship, and may we glorify you in all we do together.”

 

Emma paused and she looked up at Justin with an encouraging smile.  She squeezed his hands.  It took him a few moments, to gather his thoughts, but he did speak.

 

“I know that I have done a lot of not-so-good things, but I must have done something right to have Emma in my life.  I don’t think I thank you every day for her like I should, and for everything else in my life.  But thank you for bringing me someone who is so understanding, caring, beautiful, fun, honest, blessed, focused on what she wants, and everything else I could ever think of to describe her.

 

“She is more than I deserve, but I won’t ever throw it away.  I pray that you will help me grow into the man she believes I can be, and that I don’t doubt my ability to do just that.  I can see your light in her eyes every minute I’m with her and it’s a beautiful light.

 

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her.  And I do,” he swallowed, “I do hope that we glorify you in all we do.”

 

They were silent for a few more minutes; taking in what they just prayed.  Emma was a little teary even with her eyes closed.  She loved it when she could feel a stronger presence in whatever place she was in, and she hoped that Justin could feel it too.

 

“In Jesus’ name,” Emma said.

 

“Amen,” they both said together.

 

Emma opened her eyes and saw Justin staring right into hers.  His eyes looked a little watery too. 

 

“Thank you Emma,” Justin said.

 

“For what?”  She asked.  Emma let go of his hands so she could put hers on his cheeks.  She brushed her thumbs under his eyes.

 

“For believing in me, for being tolerant, just for everything, and mostly, for loving me.” 

 

“I always, always will,” Emma said.  When a tear finally fell from his eye, she brushed it away with her thumb.  “Don’t ever doubt that Justin.”  She leaned over and kissed his lips softly.

 

“I love you, because you’re you.  No matter what crazy thing you do, within limits of course.”  Emma grinned.

 

“Good.”  Justin smiled.  He wrapped his hands around her forearms, and tugged her a little so she would move to his lap. 

 

“Thank you for your prayer.  It was very sweet,” Emma said once she was settled, and the dress she was wearing was situated.  She felt Justin brush his fingers over the tattoo on her back.

 

“Anytime,” Justin answered honestly.  “Do you think we could do that again?”

 

“Of course.”  Emma’s eyes lit up at the thought.  “Whenever you want, just let me know.”  She wrapped her arms loosely, around his neck.

 

“Do you really have to leave tomorrow?”  He asked.

 

“I do,” Emma replied.  They had thought that saying “goodbye” was hard when they were just dating, but it was only going to get harder as time went on.

 

*  *  *

 

“I have an announcement,” Emma said.  She was at her parents’ house for the weekly family dinner on Sunday after having spent the day at church.

 

“What’s that?”  Karen asked as she passed the mashed potatoes to her husband.

 

“Well …” She paused and looked at Trevor, who was sitting across from her.  He smiled.  She wasn’t sure what their reaction was going to be, especially after what had happened well over a year before.

 

“Justin asked me to marry him when I was out there last weekend.”

 

“Congratulations sweetheart.”  Karen smiled at her daughter.  “We are happy for you.”

 

“Really?”  Emma let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Of course.  Why would you think otherwise?”  Doug asked.

 

“I don’t know … I guess because of what happened before.”  Emma played with the mashed potatoes sitting on her plate.

 

“Well all that matters is that you love him and that you trust him.  Because if you do, then we do too,” Doug said.  He cut the piece of chicken on his plate.

 

“Thanks,” Emma smiled.  “He really wanted to be here with me to tell you, but he’s just so busy.”

 

“That’s all right.  Next time he’s around we’ll celebrate and get everyone together,” Karen replied.

 

Trevor chuckled knowing that would turn into a huge event.

 

“Trevor …” Emma sighed.  She slid down in her seat so she could pull the diamond ring out of her pocket.  She had missed feeling and seeing it on her finger even though it had only been a week.

 

“Ooo … lets see.”  Karen put her fork down and held out her hand when she saw Emma slip the ring on her finger.  Emma put her hand in her mother’s.  “Beautiful.  How’d you get a guy with such good taste?”

 

“Hey!”  Doug half-shouted toward his wife who just smiled at him.  He knew she was teasing.  Doug held out his hand and motioned to Emma to see her ring.  “You deserve it Emma Leigh.”

 

*  *  *

 

“How’d it go?”  Justin asked her over the phone later that night.

 

“It went well.  They’re happy.”  Emma flopped back onto her bed.  She picked up the Bible that was on her nightstand.

 

“And you were worried,” he stated.

 

“Well, you never know.” 

 

“I suppose you don’t.”  They were quiet for a few minutes.

 

“When you’re here next month, they want to celebrate, which means it’ll end up being a big party.”  She opened the book and flipped the pages back and forth a few times.

 

“That’s all right.  I think my Mom wants to do something too,” Justin replied.  He had already told his family that he was going to ask Emma to marry him so all he had to do was tell them her answer.  They were excited and happy for them.

 

“So what do you think: long or short engagement?”  Emma asked.  “I was thinking long because then we don’t have to start freaking out about wedding plans tomorrow.”

 

“I think that’s better,” he started.  “Because my schedule is still pretty full for the next four to six months or so with all the recording and what not.  After that, I can block more time to be out there with you.”

 

“Well, then it definitely makes more sense to wait.”  Emma moved the book off of her lap and rolled onto her stomach.  She put her feet up in the air and brought the book in front of her face again.

 

They talked on the phone awhile longer, but Emma wanted to get off of the phone so she could read and go to bed before it got too late.  Emma and Justin promised to talk to each other the next day.

 

 

 

February 2010

 

Since Justin and Emma had gotten engaged and prayed together, Justin had been opening up more and more to Emma about spirituality, faith, and religion.  And Emma loved every moment of it.

 

So now they were on their way to Springfield, Missouri for a TobyMac concert.  Emma had picked that particular artist because she thought that Justin would enjoy his music and his message.  She had met Toby a few times since her and Bryan had picked up Gotee Records, which was Toby’s label, as an account in 2007, and knew that Justin and he had very similar personalities.

 

Emma had asked Toby if he would meet with them after his concert, and he had agreed and sent her a couple of passes so they could stick around.  She was excited about introducing Justin to Toby.

 

Justin was a little nervous about going to this show because Emma had said that this concert would have a much larger crowd than the shows she generally took him too and that there was a possibility that they could have more of a reaction to his being there.  But he had a hat and was going to take the chance for Emma.  Justin had heard her excitement over the phone from the moment she bought the tickets and had set up this meeting for the three of them. 

 

So he was going to go for her and see what all of her hype was about.  Emma had played a few songs for him and he had liked what he had heard.  And despite his nervousness, Emma’s excitement had rubbed off on him.

 

“Let’s grab something quick to eat before the show,” Emma suggested.  She knew she wouldn’t make it through the show without something in her stomach. 

 

“Sure,” Justin replied.  Emma had let him take the wheel for the two-hour drive, and now he was breaking at the light at the end of the ramp he had excited on.  “What do you feel like eating?”

 

“Hmm …” Emma looked out the windows to see what restaurants were around.  They had an hour and a half to kill before the concert started, and she wasn’t sure how far down the road the venue was.  “Let’s just go through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A.”

 

“Okay,” Justin replied.  He didn’t really care where they had dinner.  Justin drove into the parking lot and up to the menu.  After they got their food, Justin followed Emma’s directions to the venue where they sat in the parking lot and ate their dinner.

 

Justin put his baseball cap on as they made their way to the doors of the venue.  Emma wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned into him when he put his arm around her shoulder.  When they got to the door, Emma handed their tickets to one of the ushers, who scanned them and handed them back to her. 

 

Justin dropped his arm from around her shoulder and grabbed her hand instead.  Emma and he made their way to their seats, which were in the second row in the middle of the arena, just past the small pit.  They sat down.

 

“Aren’t you excited?”  Emma asked with a big smile on her face.  She could feel something special in the air and was so happy that Justin had agreed to come with her.  Emma couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen.

 

“Only because you are,” Justin replied.  He leaned back in the chair he was sitting on put his arm on the back of her chair.  Justin looked around the arena that was filling up quickly and then back over at her.  Emma couldn’t help but kiss his cheek quickly, and he smiled.

 

They chatted until the show started.  Justin breathed a sigh of relief when the lights went down.  So far he had managed to keep a low profile.  The things he would do for Emma, but he was happy to do them for her.

 

They sat through the first two bands, both of which Emma knew some songs from.  Justin always enjoyed watching Emma at the concerts they would go to.  She was always way into the music, and she always introduced him to good music.

 

When TobyMac got on the stage, the crowd got louder and the energy in the space increased tenfold.  Justin and Emma stood up along with the rest of the audience.

 

Five songs into the show Toby spoke.

 

“How you feelin’ tonight Springfield, Missouri?”  The crowd cheered.

 

“Listen, here’s my promise to you.  I know you paid your hard earned money for those tickets tonight, so here’s my promise and Diverse City’s promise to you.  We’re gonna give you everything we got tonight.  We’re trying to drop the joy bomb on Springfield tonight.

 

“And to all the single Godly ladies from Springfield … I want you to listen close.  Don’t even let that boy step to you unless you know he loves God with all his heart.”

 

Justin looked down at Emma when Toby said this, and she just looked up at him with a smile.  Justin knew that wasn’t quite the case with him, but Emma didn’t seem to mind.  He knew that Emma was like that because on more than one occasion, Emma had reminded him that she loved God more than him.

 

Toby sang his song “Gone.”  Emma kind of got a kick out of the lyrics to this song when she heard it.  Justin certainly hadn’t come crawling back when he had kissed that other girl, and she had taken him back with only seven months of hesitation.

 

Emma wrapped her arms around him in a sideways hug, and he put his arm across her shoulders.  Two songs later, the crowd went crazy when Toby had picked up a Bible and walked back to his microphone with it.  Sometimes Emma thought that at shows like this the artist was just preaching to the choir, but tonight was different because her heart was open, and she could tell Justin’s was too – and he definitely was not the choir.

 

“First John, chapter one starting at verse five: ‘This is the message, which we have heard from him and declared to you that God is light and in him there is no darkness at all.  If we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in darkness we lie and do not practice the truth, but if we walk in the light as he is in the light we have fellowship with one another.’ 

 

“No matter what color our skin, no matter what denomination, no matter what cultural background, no matter what socioeconomic level we live in.  We have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus Christ, his son, cleanses us from all sin.”

 

“I want to be in the light as you are in the light … I want to shine like the stars in the heavens ... Oh, Lord be my light and be my salvation … ‘Cause all I want to be is in the light … all I want is to be in the light.”

 

“I want my life to come down to two words;  I promised God that too many times, but you see I keep fighting, I keep taking it back.  I wrote this song in my prayer closet.  I told God right here, right now I want my life to come down to two words:  ‘I’m Yours’.”

 

The hardcore rap song started and after it was over he introduced his next song, which was “The Slam”.  The energy level on the stage and in the crowd did not waver once as the concert continued on.

 

“Man ya’ll so hype, you get it hot up in here to get it this hype …” Toby smiled at the crowd’s reaction.  Justin could relate to what he was feeling up there.  He knew from his own career that Toby, his band and back-up singers/dancers were having a blast and leaving it all out there for those who had come to the show.

 

“I’ve had the privilege or touring around the world, but I will tell you this tonight, I have learned a few things, I have, and I ain’t no preacher, but I’m about to get my preach on for a minute Springfield.

 

“You see it’s not our words, our words aren’t going to be what stops the world in the tracks.  Our words will not change the world, they’ve heard it all.  It’s not normally our music, normally we make our music for us, for the body, so we can sharpen each other, edify the body, glorify our God …

 

“Once in a while one crosses over, but its not typically the music that’s going to stop the world in the tracks, our music is not going to change the world more than likely.

 

“It’s not our buildings, as grand and beautiful as some of our church buildings are.  It’s not the architecture that will change the world.

 

“But I believe that what will change the world is when we begin to love each other, and when we begin to love the world, and we begin to reach out to the orphans and widows, the lower income families in our communities.  When the world sees that kind of love, I’m talking about undeniable love, I believe they’ll stop in their tracks and say: ‘Yo whatever you people have over there, I want some of that baby, I want some of that for me.’

 

“When our houses are packed so full of love that we gotta open up the back door to let it ooze out into the valleys, the suburbs, into the city streets.  When the world sees that kind of love, real love, they’re gonna stop in their tracks baby, they’re going to say: ‘Whatever homey … , whatever, yo homey, whatever you people have other there, you Jesus freaks, I want some of that man, I want some of that Jesus for me if its doing that’.” 

 

“I said love is in the house … and the house is packed …”

 

Emma poked Justin so he would look at her.  He turned his attention away from the stage and looked down at her.  Emma stood up on her toes and brought her mouth up to his ear.  He leaned down a little.

 

“That song you did … uh, … ‘Where is the Love’ … when I heard that, like once, it made me think of this song,” Emma said.

 

“Really?”  Justin asked.  Emma nodded and returned to her normal height.  They both returned their attention to the stage.  Justin liked the lyrics and could hear how Emma would relate those songs together.

 

“When I was just a young boy, on the back of my daddy’s business card were the words: ‘What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?’ I can’t say I knew what it meant then, but I sure do now.”

 “Father God, I am clay in your hands ... Help me to stay that way through all life's demands … 'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me … And every little thing I make up my mind to be …

“Like I'm gonna be a daddy whose in the mix … And I'm gonna be a husband who stays legit … And I pray that I'm an artist who rises above the road that is wide and filled with self love … Everything that I see draws me … Though its only in You that I can truly see that its a feast for the eyes - a low blow to purpose … And I'm a little kid at a three ring circus …

“I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul … Don't wanna walk away let me hear the people say … I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul … Don't wanna walk away let me hear the people say …

“The paparazzi flashes and that they think that it’s you … But they don’t know that who you are is not what you do …” 

At that point in the song, Justin subconsciously reached for Emma’s hand and squeezed it.  The lyrics were hitting home, and Justin was kind of in shock.

 

When Justin grabbed Emma’s hand, she looked up at him and watched his face.  He was definitely moved by the music and the words more importantly.  She wrapped her other hand around the one that was holding hers and leaned against him.

 

Emma said a silent prayer for him.  It’s not that he had no soul or needed to be “saved” because he was very much a believer, but it was a wake-up call.  And sometimes a person needed that.  Even she needed that. 

 

Emma listened along with him; resting her head against his arm.

“True, we get it twisted when we peak at the charts … Yo before we part from the start where’s your heart? … You’re a pimp, hustler? … Tell me what’s your title … America has no more stars now we call them idols … You sit idle … While we teach prosperity … The first thing to prosper should be inside of me … We’re free … Not because of 22’s the a range … But Christ came in range we said yes now we changed … Not the same even though I made a fall … Since I got that call no more Saul now I’m Paul …

“I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul … Don't wanna walk away let me hear the people say … I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul … Don't wanna walk away let me hear the people say …
“How do I sense the tide that's rising? … De-sensitizing me from living in light of eternity … How do I sense the tide that's rising? … It's hypnotizing me from living in light of eternity …  “I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul … Don't wanna walk away let me hear the people say …” 

“Lord forgive us when we get consumed by the things of this world that fight for our love and our passion.  As our eyes are opened wide and on You, may You grant us the privilege of Your world view and may Your kingdom be what wakes us up and lays us down.”

 

Emma moved her hand that was holding his and wiped at the tears that were gathering in her eyes.  She always liked that song.  And it looked like Justin did too.  Emma made a mental note to remember that little prayer Toby had said before they finished the song.

 

The music on stage picked up, and they did the song “Diverse City” before Toby said “Good night” and “God bless” to the crowd.  As soon as he walked off of the stage with the rest of the Diverse City crew, the crowd began cheering and yelling for “one more song.”

 

Emma and Justin joined them.  TobyMac and his band came back out after a minute.  They went right into the song “Made to Love.”  And near the end of it Toby began to make another speech.

 

“Listen, if you forget everything else that is said tonight, take this home with you.  No matter what you’re going through, no matter how deep your problem is, no matter how deep that cut is that hurt you, no matter how deep a hole you got your life into this very night: God made you and God made me, so that he could love us.

 

“See sometimes, sometimes when life is coming at us, we get a little cloudy, we get a little cloudy, and we forget that simple thought that God loves us.

 

“And sometimes maybe we’ve turned our back on God and walked away, and maybe it was a bunch of little things, or it maybe it was one big leap into something really foolish, but nonetheless, you look up and you find yourself way over here, and in your mind you’re as far away from God’s love tonight as you’ve ever been.

 

“But these are the lies that start filling our head.  Lies like: ‘I’ve done too much’, ‘I don’t want to trudge back through all that junk back to God’, ‘I’m just going to live over here’, ‘I’m too embarrassed’.  These are the lies that fill our minds.

 

“But let me tell you about the truth tonight.  This is the truth: no matter how many times you’ve been over here, no matter how far over here you are, no matter what you’re addicted to, tonight you don’t have to trudge back through all that junk to get back to God.

 

“If you just turn around God will meet you right where you are.  That’s the truth.  That’s the truth.  You are one turn, one second from God’s perfect love as soon as you turn around.  As soon as you turn around and ask his forgiveness, his love will shower over you, his arms will wrap around you because you are God’s child.  And God loves his children.

 

“God loves you, and the reason we can do all that, the reason we can turn around is because there’s a bridge between us and God, and that’s God’s son and his name is Jesus Christ.  He makes up the difference.

 

“God also created you and me so that we could adore him, so that we could call him ‘Abba’, so that we could worship him together and raise our voices together.  Let’s just adore God for a minute tonight.

 

“We we’re made to adore you, made just for you … Oh how we love you Father … We we’re made to adore you, made just for you … Tonight is yours … We we’re made to adore you, made just for you …”

“You okay?”  Emma asked Justin loudly as the next song started.  She broke him out of his thoughts, and he looked over at her and nodded with a smile.  Justin had taken everything that had been said to heart, and she could see it in his eyes even with the brim of his hat casting a dark shadow across his face.

 

Everything that was said moved Justin, and it was a new, very powerful feeling.  He wanted to hold onto that feeling for a long time.

 

He didn’t even really pay attention to the song that was being performed at that moment.

 

“Father God I pray for Springfield tonight.  I pray for the people that are in this concert.  I pray that You would refresh them, that You would renew them, that You would revive them, and that they would leave this concert in passionate pursuit of You, and take that passion to their workplaces, to their schools, to the streets of Springfield, Missouri.”

 “Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho …” 

“This is the sound of the Jesus freaks.”

 “Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho …” 

“This is the sound of the Jesus freaks.”

 “Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho … Ho ho ho …” 

“We got any Jesus freaks in Missouri?” 

 

The crowd went absolutely crazy when Toby and his band did the dcTalk favorite “Jesus Freak.”  Toby was the founder of dcTalk, which was the group that paved the way for pretty much every Christian band after it. 

 

At the end of “Jesus Freak”, Toby jumped on a small trampoline and dived into the crowd that was in front of the stage.  The crowd got him back to the stage, and Shonlock and GabeReal, two of his back-ups, pulled him back onto the stage.

 

They immediately went into the final song “Extreme Days”, which was Toby’s first single as a solo artist.  Both songs were high energy and ended the show on a high note.

 

“God bless you Springfield, Missouri … woooo … Springfield you rock!”  Toby yelled before he and his band disappeared backstage for the final time. 

 

When the lights came on, Emma and Justin sat down in their seats to wait for the crowd to clear out.  They didn’t say anything, which was fine with Justin as he was deep in thought.  And he kept his focus on the concrete floor below his feet, to avoid being recognized. 

 

Emma leaned back against the chair and against him a little.  She put her hand on his knee as he put his arm around the back of her chair again. 

 

“Em …” Justin turned his head to look at her several minutes later.  Emma turned her head away from where she was watching the stage hands start to tear down the set.  “Thanks.”  He smiled.

 

“No problem.”  Emma grinned.  She could see the smile and light in his eyes, and she knew exactly what he was thanking her for.  “Toby puts on a good show.”

 

“Definitely.”  Justin nodded in agreement.

 

“Excuse me.”  A security guard approached them.  “I’m going to have to ask you to clear out.”  The arena had already emptied out a lot.

 

“Oh.”  Emma looked up and then reached for her bag, which was on the floor by her feet.  “We have passes.”  She pulled them out of her purse and showed them to the guard.  He nodded and went on his way. 

 

“Where are we supposed to meet him?”  Justin asked.

 

“He said he’d meet us out here 30 minutes or so after the show,”  Emma replied.  “Hey you survived the crowd.”  She just realized that no one had cast him a second glance.

 

“I know.  That’s weird,” Justin stated, sounding slightly puzzled.  “Even at The Music Hall someone usually stops me.”  Emma made a sound of agreement.

 

“There he is.”  Emma nodded toward Toby when she saw him walk through some doors that led out onto the floor.  She waved as he walked over toward the short steps that led to where Emma and Justin where still sitting. 

 

“Hey Emma.”  Toby smiled as he walked down the row in front of them.

 

“Hi Toby,” Emma replied.  “Thanks so much for meeting up with us.”  She said as he stopped in front of them.

 

“It’s not a problem.”  He shrugged and looked at Justin.  “Toby McKeehan.”  Toby held out his hand for Justin to shake.

 

“Justin Timberlake.”  Justin shook his hand and then pulled the hat he was wearing off of his head.  “You’re show, man, it was … wow.”

 

“Thanks.”  Toby replied and leaned against the railing.  He looked a little surprised to be getting that compliment from Justin.

 

“Just about everything you said, it really just seemed to hit me in the right place,” Justin said honestly.  Emma looked at him, her eyes shining when he said that. 

 

“And then the crowd, they were really into it.  I know that my fans enjoy my shows and all that, but this was just in a different way.”  He was about to start rambling but stopped himself.

 

“It’s all God,” Toby stated.  Justin nodded.  It was quiet for a few moments.

 

“So what’s it like working with Timbaland?”  Toby sounded excited to ask him that.

 

“Oh man, …” Justin paused and asked, “you like him?”

 

“Yeah.  I’m all about clean rap CDs from Wal-Mart.”  Toby grinned.  Justin and Emma laughed at his comment.

 

“It’s a lot of fun,” Justin said and started to talk about it.  He and Toby got into a conversation about song writing and recording.

 

Emma sat back in her seat and listened to what they were saying.  Even though it wasn’t her profession, she was so used to hearing about it between Trevor and Justin that she didn’t mind.  She let them talk because she had brought Justin here for him.

 

By the end of their conversation, Toby had asked Justin if he wanted to get together in the studio sometime, and Justin had agreed.

 

“You ready to go Emma?”  Justin asked her when there was a lull in the conversation.  

 

“Sure.”  Emma yawned in response.  She was getting tired, and they still had to drive the two hours back to Springdale.

 

“It was really nice to meet you,” Justin said.  He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and stretched.

 

“You too.” Toby nodded in agreement.  “It was nice to see you again Emma.”

 

“Yeah.”  Emma smiled as she stood up and put her bag over her shoulder.  “Thanks for hanging out with us.”

 

“No prob.”

 

The three walked toward the aisle where they said goodbye and went their separate ways.  Justin held Emma’s hand as the made their way out of the venue and to her car.

 

“I had a really great time tonight Emmy,” Justin said once they were in the car and on the highway.

 

“I’m glad you did.”  Emma smiled.  “I figured you guys would hit it off.”

 

“I think it would be a lot of fun to work with him,” Justin said.  “It seems like he’s been around the block a few times, ya know?”  Emma nodded in agreement.  “And I just, everything he said really made me think, and the lyrics seemed like they were just for me.  It’s been a while since I’ve had that kind of … movement, I guess, with songs.”

 

“You know, like he said ‘It’s all God’,” Emma said.  She reached up and rubbed his shoulder affectionately.

 

Justin nodded.  “I really believe that.  Em for the first time, in a long time, I really do.” 

  

May 2010

 

“Off.”  Justin grabbed Buckley’s collar and pulled him off of the couch.  The dog had snuck onto the spot where he had been sitting when he went into the kitchen for a drink.  Emma hadn’t stopped Buckley and just grinned at the look Justin had given her.

 

Buckley let out a loud sigh as he lay down on the floor in front of the couch.  Justin had brought his dogs with him for the first time to Arkansas because he was going to be with Emma for longer than a weekend.

 

Justin rolled his eyes.  He sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Emma and put his glass on the side table.

 

“So are you ready to dive into this wedding planning thing?”  Justin asked.

 

“Well you know I’ve already looked into dates, and since we’re still looking at another year my church’s calendar is wide open,” Emma replied.  She put her feet in his lap.

 

“When we talked on Monday, you said May of next year, right?”  He wanted to be sure because he already told his management to make sure the end of April through June was clear in his schedule. 

 

Emma nodded.

 

“Good.  I told Johnny to make sure nothing gets scheduled May or June of next year.”

 

“Nice,” Emma smiled.  She turned a little so she could pick up the planner that was sitting on her coffee table.  Emma opened it to the back where there was a long term calendar for the next year.  She looked at the weekend dates for the month of May.  “What Saturday?  The 7, 14, 21, or 28?” 

 

“The 21,” he answered.  Justin moved her jean leg out of the way so he could rub her calf.  “Did you get a new tattoo?”  He didn’t remember ever seeing the crown of thorns that circled her ankle just below the cross on her calf.

 

“Huh?”  Emma was puzzled and looked down at what he was talking about.  Justin pointed to it.  “No.  I’ve had that one for a couple of years Justin.”

 

“Really?  I don’t remember it.”

 

“You need to be more observant.”  Emma rested the planner open on her stomach.

 

“Maybe, you need to not wear pants so much.”  Justin grinned at her and poked her leg playfully. 

 

“I like my jeans, thank you.”  Emma smiled.  “So, I was thinking it would be cool to have the reception at The Music Hall.”

 

“Isn’t that kind of small?”  He asked.

 

“I think it’ll work,” Emma answered.  “You know I don’t really want to do anything overly extravagant anyway, and we’re keeping our guest list at 100 or less.” 

 

“I know,” he replied.  They had already had this conversation and figured the wedding would be best if they kept it only family and close friends.  Otherwise, their day was likely to turn into a media circus, and Northwest Arkansas wasn’t ready for that, nor were Emma and Justin.

 

They hadn’t officially announced their engagement, but if it came up Justin did not deny it, nor did he reveal any more than the basics.  It also didn’t hurt that Emma lived in the middle of the country where there was little media focus and not West Coast.

 

“We can just make it so it doesn’t look like a warehouse with a stage in it,” Emma stated.  “I even talked to JB, and he said if we want it we can book it for $5,000 because that’s what they usually pull in on a Saturday night.”

 

“That’s reasonable.”  Justin nodded.

 

“I picked up this book at the store the other day.”  Emma pulled the slim book from where it was stuck inside her planner.  She held it up for Justin to read the cover.  “I thought it could be helpful because neither of us have planned a wedding.  Maybe we could get a wedding planner to help?”

 

“That probably isn’t a bad idea,” Justin said and plucked the book from her hands.  He flipped through the book and stopped on a page that had a bunch of questions on it.

 

“What is your theme?”  He read and then looked at Emma with a raised brow.  “Theme?”

 

“Anything come to mind?”  She asked him.  He shook his head ‘no’.  “The only thing I could think of was something to do with the South, maybe?”  Emma shrugged.

 

“We have time to think about it.”  Justin moved his free hand to squeeze her foot and rubbed it affectionately.  “Colors?”

 

He paused and then when Emma didn’t say anything, he suggested black and white.

 

“I think we should have a blue or green color,” Emma replied.  She moved her foot a little when his movements tickled the bottom of her foot.  He looked over at her and smiled apologetically.  Justin handed the book back to her.

 

She stuck it back inside the planner and then tossed the planner back onto the coffee table.

 

“I can’t believe you’re going to be here for a full two weeks.” 

 

“I know,” Justin grinned.  “It’ll be the first time in forever that we’ve spent more than a weekend together.”

 

“What are you going to do while I’m at work?”  Emma asked as she sat up and put her feet on the floor. 

 

“I don’t know.”  He shrugged.  “Can I come bug you and Bryan?”

 

“Mmmm … maybe on Thursday, Bryan and I have presentations tomorrow and Wednesday, therefore on Tuesday we’ll have to finalize the one on Wednesday.”  Emma stated and stood up.  She disappeared into her kitchen and came back a minute later with a package of cookies and a soda. 

 

“You’re hungry?”  Justin raised a brow as she sat back down next to him.  They had had a big dinner a few hours before.  Buckley perked up when he saw what Emma had and that Brennan had followed her into the living room from her spot in the kitchen.

 

“A little.”  Emma shrugged as she opened the package.  She stuck a cookie in Justin’s mouth before taking one for herself. 

 

*  *  *

 

The following week Emma had scheduled an appointment for her and Justin to talk to an event planner.  Emma and Bryan had done a few invitation and program designs for this planner, so Emma knew she could work with her on her own wedding.  And it didn’t hurt that her office was a few doors down from 479design.

 

Justin followed Emma into the foyer of the space and was a little surprised when a woman, who was shorter than Emma, came bouncing toward them.  She was either very energetic or pumped up on caffeine. 

“Hi Emma!”  She said, and her smile grew even wider when she recognized Justin.

 

Now he really wasn’t sure what to think.

 

“Hi Jill.”  Emma smiled and grabbed Justin’s left hand in her right.  “This is my fiancé Justin Timberlake, Justin this is Jill Richardson the wedding planner.”

 

“It is so nice to meet you.”  Jill was still grinning as she stuck her hand out for him to shake.

 

“You too.”  He sounded hesitant as he returned her handshake.

 

“She’s always this wound up.”  Emma explained and reassured him with a squeeze of her hand.  She could tell he wasn’t sure about her, but he had to know that Emma wouldn’t use someone’s services if they were going to squeal to the world.

 

“Well come on back,” Jill said with a wave of her hand.  They followed her to the back of the office space, which was set up similar to Emma and Bryan’s.  “Have a seat.”  She gestured toward the opposite side of the conference table that she had sat on.  She picked up the mug of coffee next to the yellow pad of paper and took a sip of it.

 

Justin and Emma sat down.

 

“All right,” Jill started.  “Now you mentioned on the phone that you already booked the First Baptist Church of Springdale and The Music Hall in Fayetteville May 21 of next year.”

 

“Yeah.” Emma nodded.

 

“Perfect.  That’s always one of the hardest parts of planning an event.  Now is there a budget you are working with?”

 

“It’s really pretty open,” Justin answered and looked at Emma.

 

“Well, I really don’t want to spend more than $60,000.  I just think any more than that might be a little ridiculous.”  Emma said.

 

“Okay.  We’ll say 60, but flexible.”  Jill wrote it down and sat back in her chair.  “Now what do you envision for your day?”

 

“Well,” Emma paused.  “Really the only thing I’ve ever wanted was to get married in the church I grew up in.”  She looked over at Justin as she spoke this and waited to hear what he had to say.

 

“It’s not really something I ever thought about.”

 

“That’s all right,” Jill said.  She stood up.  “I can show you my portfolio to give you some ideas.”  Jill picked up a book from a side table and set it down in front of Emma and Justin before sitting back down herself.

 

Emma opened it and starting to look through the pages.

 

“Have you thought about the number of guests?” 

 

“One hundred or less,” Emma answered.  She looked up from the portfolio for a second.  “We want to keep it low key otherwise it’ll turn into a zoo.” 

 

Jill nodded.

 

“The only other thing we’ve talked about is colors,” Emma started.  “Justin wants black and white, which I’m just fine with, but I think it would be nice to throw in a blue or green color.”

 

“That would be really nice,” Jill smiled.  She wrote it down and then reached over to the table behind her to pick up a ring of color cards.  “Those are pretty modern, sleek colors.”  Jill laid the color cards on the conference table for them to look through as well.

 

They spent another 45 minutes with Jill talking about miscellaneous things and deciding on teal as their third color.  When they left the wedding planner’s office, Justin and Emma walked back down to her office to get her stuff and head back to her house.

 

*  *  *

 

August 2010

 

“Look!”  Emma said excitedly.  She held a final copy of their wedding invitation in front of Justin’s face.  Emma had picked them up from the printer’s on her way home from work.

 

“Very nice,” Justin said.  He grabbed the invitation from her hand and looked it over. 

 

Emma had designed it.  The invitation was on a four by six teal colored card with a piece of velum glued over it, revealing a quarter-inch of the teal color on all four sides.  Underneath the velum, the first letters of their names overlapped each other in a black script font that looked gray through the opaque paper.  The velum itself had the basic information for their wedding in the same black script font.

 

“You’re so good at what you do.”  Justin pulled her down onto his lap.

 

“Well thank you.”  Emma smiled and kissed his cheek.  “So like we talked about, we’ll send out the save-the-date cards this month and these will go out in January.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Justin replied.  He smiled at her softly before bringing up the next topic of conversation.  “So I talked to Johnny today.”

 

“Oh yeah?”  Emma asked and grinned.

 

“He thinks we should make an official statement,” Justin stated.  “I want to.”

 

“Okay,” she nodded.

 

“Really?”  He hadn’t expected her to be so ‘whatever’ about it.

 

“Yeah,” Emma answered honestly.  “I know I can’t exactly hide from the world forever if I’m going to be with you.  We’ve done a pretty good job of that for three years now, but I guess I should suck it up and go for it.”

 

Justin laughed lightly and picked her left hand up in his own.

 

“There are a few different ways we can go about it,” he said.  “We could do a big thing like a magazine, TV show or radio interview.  Or we can just do a press release.”

 

“What do you want to do?”  Emma asked him.  Justin played with the ring on her finger.

 

“Maybe, because it’s already a little out there we can just do a press release.  And if I have an interview or something like that soon, I don’t know, I can always field more questions,” Justin answered.

 

“That sounds like a good idea.”  She nodded.  “My request is that my last name and hometown stay out of it.”

 

“I think that would be manageable.  I won’t guarantee that it won’t get out there, but we can try.”  Justin weaved his fingers through hers.

 

“That’s fine.”  Emma smiled.  They sat on the couch, looking at each other for a moment.  Both were content to be with the other.  “I talked to Mom this morning, and she asked about where we are going to register at, you know for gifts and stuff?

 

“And well, I was thinking that it would be kind of dumb for us to do that because we don’t really need anything.  Than I thought that a lot of people I invited are going to want to do something, so maybe we could pick a couple of charities that they could donate to instead of buying us stuff.”

 

“Definitely,” Justin nodded.  “That makes a lot more sense.”

 

“That’s what I thought.  The only thing is, my parents have already insisted that they buy us our dishes and silverware,” Emma said.  “Because they aren’t going to pay for the wedding like they wanted to.”

 

“If they want to do that for us that’s fine,” he stated.  “I’m sure some of my family will want to do something like that too.”  Justin was quiet for a moment.  “Are there any charities you like?”

 

“Well I was going to do some research when I knew what you thought of the idea,” she answered.

 

“Ok.”  Justin nodded.  “I have my foundation for music education we can do that to.  If that would be something you’re interested in.”

 

“Sure.”  Emma nodded as the front door opened.

 

“Baby brother’s home!”  Trevor announced his presence.  “Everyone decent?”  He stuck his head through the opened door and grinned at Justin and Emma. 

 

“Trevor!”  Emma rolled her eyes but didn’t move from her spot on Justin’s lap.  Justin chuckled and pulled Emma closer to him.

 

Trevor opened the door all the way and walked into the house he shared with his sister.  He had his guitar over his shoulder in its soft case and was dragging the suitcase he had his clothes in behind him.

 

Trevor let go of the baggage and closed the door.  He walked over to Emma and Justin, and leaned down to give Emma a hug, and when she moved out of the way, he gave Justin a hug too.

 

“How did your shows go?”  Emma asked moving to the sit down on the couch next to Justin.  The Wedding had played three sets in Bushnell, Illinois for Cornerstone Festival, which was a week-long music festival in the middle of a farm field.

 

“They went awesome,” Trevor answered.  He flopped down on the chair and yawned.  “I love Cornerstone.”  Emma nodded.  She had been out there a few times to help them at their merchandise table and to check out the bands.  It was like summer camp especially when you slept in tents and everyone smelled.

 

“How long you here for?”  Trevor turned his attention to Justin.

 

“Until Wednesday,” Justin answered.

 

“Sweet.  The guys are coming over tomorrow and we’re gonna do some writing.  You want to join us?”   

 

“Sure,” Justin said.  Usually “writing” with them was just jamming.  They came from a completely different musical background as him, but they all had fun together.  

 

“I’m gonna start dinner.”  Emma stood up.  She walked out of the living room and into the kitchen leaving Justin and Trevor to themselves.  Emma was glad that both of them got along with each other.

 

*  *  *

 

“Did you see this Justin?”  Emma was sitting at her dining room table reading the news headlines on Yahoo! News.  She glanced over at Justin who was sprawled out on her couch, watching TV and half-heartedly playing with Buckley and Brennan.

 

“What’s that?”  He looked over at her.

 

“We’re the top news story.”  Emma answered.

 

“Huh.”  He was completely uninterested, mostly because it didn’t surprise him.  Emma decided to read what it said.

 

“Well that didn’t take long,” Emma stated when she saw her last name and hometown in it.  Emma sighed.  It bothered her a little, but she knew it was going to happen.  And at least they had tried.

 

Justin looked back over at her when she had said that comment.  Buckley and Brennan had turned their attention from Justin to each other.

 

“They already got my last name and where I live,” she said.

 

“Oh … I’m sorry Em,” Justin said.  Even though she had agreed to announce their pending marriage, he knew it wasn’t her first choice.   

 

“I know,” Emma smiled softly.  “At least we tried.  Right?”  She closed her laptop and stood up to go over to him. 

 

“It’s all we can do.”  Justin opened his arms to her and she lay down on top of him.  He hugged her to himself and kissed her forehead.  “You know if I could, I would hide you from everything.”

 

“I know,” Emma nodded.  “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.”

 

“Mmhmm …” Justin sighed and decided to change the subject.  “So where should I take you?”

 

“Where should you take me?” Emma asked.  She was puzzled.

 

“Yeah, on our honeymoon.”  He explained.  His face lighting up at the idea.

 

“Oh … I don’t know,” she answered.  Emma reached down and ran her fingers over Brennan’s smooth fur.  She had given up on playing with Buckley and lay down on the floor next to the couch.

 

“We can go to Italy,” Justin suggested.  “I know you want to go there.”

 

“That could be fun,” Emma said.

 

“Could?  Emmy … it’d be awesome.”  He grinned.

 

“I know.  It would,” she smiled.  “I want to go to Florence and Rome.”

 

“Okay.”  He nodded.  “Just get your passport and I can make all of the arrangements.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

Chapter Ten

 

January 2011

 

“Thanks for picking me up Trace,” Emma said.

 

“No problem,” he replied.  “I’m glad you’re here.  I was getting tired of Justin whining about you not coming to his birthday party.”  Trace drove the SUV up Justin’s driveway.

 

Emma had flown out to L.A. for Justin’s 30th birthday as a surprise.  Emma had told him that she had to stay in Arkansas because a band was going to be staying at her house, and Trevor was out of town. 

 

Trace parked the SUV, and they got out.  He grabbed Emma’s bag for her.  She followed him into the house through the garage where the dogs greeted her.  Justin wasn’t home as she had expected.

 

After Trace had left, Emma looked through Justin’s pantry and fridge to see if he happened to have the ingredients for lasagna, which is what she wanted to make him for dinner.  When Emma saw that he didn’t have most of them, she found the keys to his pick-up truck and went to the nearest grocery store.

 

*  *  *

 

It was a couple hours later, and Emma had just changed the setting on the oven to keep the lasagna warm while she waited for Justin to come home.  She knew he would be on his way home by this time, and he would call her like he did everyday at that time.

 

Her cell phone rang, and she stepped over both of the dogs, who had made themselves comfortable in the middle of the kitchen floor, to pick it up.

 

“Hello,” Emma answered with a smile on her face.

 

“Hey Emmy,” Justin said.  He sounded tired.  “What are you up to?”

 

“Just doing some cleaning,” she stated.  Emma made her way into his living room and sat down on the couch.  “The bathroom is in dire need of cleaning.  I don’t know why you boys are so messy.”

 

“Hey now …” Justin defended, but could hear her laugh a little.  He sighed because he wanted nothing more than for her to be there this weekend.  They hadn’t seen each other since the day after New Years. 

 

“Are you sure you can’t come out here this weekend?”  He just had to ask her again.  It was his birthday weekend after all.  “I can still get you a flight to be here for the party.”  His birthday was on the following Monday, but he was having a big party the next night to celebrate.

 

“I know you can,” Emma said.  He really did sound pathetic.  “I have to be here though.”

 

“I really wish you could be here.  I only turn 30 once,” Justin continued.

 

“We’re gonna see each other in a week, and we can celebrate then.”  They had had this conversation a hundred times in the last month.

 

“It’s not the same.”  He pouted.

 

“Justin …” Emma sighed.  They were quiet for a minute.  “Are you almost to your house?”

 

“Yeah, I’m just about to pull into the driveway,” Justin answered.  “I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

 

“Okay.”  Emma stood up and walked back to the kitchen.  “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Justin replied.  They hung up.

 

Emma pulled the casserole dish out of the oven and set it on the stovetop just as she heard the garage door go up.  Both Buckley and Brennan bolted for the door and started to bark.  Emma was just as excited as they were to see him.

 

After another minute, she could hear Justin talking to his dogs and getting them to calm down before making his way down the short hallway and into the kitchen.

 

“Surprise!”  Emma grinned when Justin noticed her standing in the middle of his kitchen.  She held her arms open, and he stepped into them, hugging her in return.

 

“You’re such a little liar,” he said right before he kissed her.

 

“Happy early Birthday,” Emma said.  She was happy to look into his eyes again.

 

“It is now,” Justin said honestly.

 

“You’re such a baby.”  She rolled her eyes, and he ignored her comment because he wanted to kiss her again.  “Are you hungry?  I made lasagna for dinner.”

 

“Sounds awesome.”  He reluctantly dropped one of his arms from around her and rubbed his stomach.  “I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

 

“That’s not good.”  Emma stepped away from him.  She walked over to one of the cabinets, opened it and pulled out two plates.  Emma served him first and then herself.

 

“This looks good,” Justin said.  He grabbed two forks out of a drawer and walked over to his table.  Emma followed.  “Thanks.”  Justin smiled as he sat down.

 

“No problem.”  Emma grabbed the fork he held out for her as she sat down too.  “You know I don’t mind.”

 

“I know, but I appreciate it especially after you traveled today.”  He stuck his fork in the lasagna and brought the bite up to his mouth.  “You’re the best … so good.”  Justin waved the fork over his plate in small circles.

 

Emma smiled and started to eat as well.

 

“So were you planning on flying back to Arkansas with me on Thursday?”  Justin asked after he finished chewing what was in his mouth.  He had planned on going out there for the following weekend.

 

“Yeah,” Emma nodded.  “Is that cool?”

 

“Of course,” Justin replied. 

 

“So next weekend, do you want to go to the Arkansas/Tennessee basketball game?  Bryan has two extra tickets for us if we want them.”  Emma asked before she took another bite of lasagna.

 

“Yeah that sounds fun,” Justin said.

 

“And I was thinking we could talk with Mrs. Driggers, Cody’s mom, who is a realtor.  She could help us find a house.”  Emma suggested.

 

“Whatever you want to do.”

 

They finished eating with little else to say, and when they were done, Justin did the dishes for Emma, and she put the leftovers in the fridge.  They spent the rest of the evening curled up on his couch watching a movie.

 

*  *  *

 

“Look at you,” Justin said as he met Emma in the hallway outside of his bedroom.  Emma had bought a navy dress to wear for his party.  “I swear Em, you have to wear this kind of stuff more.”  He could still make her blush after almost four years of knowing each other, and he probably would forever.

 

“Thanks,” Emma replied.  “You don’t look so bad yourself.”  She reached up and smoothed the front of his button down shirt.  He liked the feel of her hands as they made their way around his waist so she could hug him.  Justin returned it, and they kissed.

 

“Shall we?”  Justin asked in reference to heading out for the night.

 

“Oh, I suppose.”  Emma sighed and stepped away from him.  She knew it was going to be a long night filled with lots of press and lots of people she didn’t know.

 

“We’ll have fun.  I promise,” he said.  They made their way down the stairs and out to the car they were going to go in.

 

When they got to the club, Justin kept Emma close to his side as they walked through the crowd that was outside of the club.  This was the first time since he had taken her to the VMAs in 2007 that they had really been in front of a lot of media together.

 

“I’m happy you’re here,” Justin said into Emma’s ear.  The words were just loud enough so she could hear them.  She smiled and let him kiss her cheek, which caused more camera flashes.  Justin led Emma through the open doors and into the club.

 

He was immediately bombarded with “Happy Birthday’s” and “How’s it going?” from everyone who had seen him come in.  Justin greeted everyone who came up to him and introduced Emma to each person.  He really was proud to have her on his arm and introduce her as his “fiancé.”  Emma went right along with it.

 

Eventually they made their way to the bar, and Justin ordered them both a drink before turning around to face her.  He greeted a couple more people who acknowledged him as he handed her the soda she wanted.  Before long, he was caught up in a conversation with Trace and a few other people, leaving Emma to observe quietly.

 

“You want to dance?”  Justin asked.  Emma was starting to look a little bored.

 

“Do you?”  She asked him back.  He nodded “yes.”  “Sure.”  Emma didn’t really care if they did or not.  She was not a huge fan of dancing especially the “dancing” that was happening in front of her. 

 

“Just none of that dirty stuff.”  Emma set her empty soda glass down on the bar.

 

“Oh … just ruin all my fun,” he teased.  Justin set his own glass down and then grabbed her hand.  He excused them from the guys he was talking to, and Emma followed him out into the crowd. 

 

Emma let him take the lead.  They danced for a while until Justin spotted a couple of the other guys from *NSYNC, and he took Emma over to them.  She was introduced to Chris and Joey, who felt the need to tease Justin about being the “baby” of the group and turning 30. 

 

Emma was surprised at how nice they were and enjoyed talking with them.

 

“So are you guys coming to our wedding?”  Emma asked.  She leaned her back against Justin, and he wrapped his arms around her.  “You sent them invites right?”  Emma looked up at Justin as she asked this.

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered.  He kissed the top of her head.  “They would kill me if I didn’t.”

 

“You got that right,” Chris smirked.

 

The four of them talked awhile longer before Justin pulled her off in another direction.  It was early in the morning when they got back to his house.

 

*  *  *

 

“To you, on your birthday,” Emma said.  She held up her glass of wine.

 

“Thank you,” Justin said.  He tapped his beer bottle against her glass.  “And thanks for dinner.”

 

“You’re welcome.”  Emma had taken him out to dinner at a small restaurant near his house that he liked, and she was treating.  “Have you had a good birthday so far?”

 

“Well I have got to spend it with you,” Justin stated, “so of course I have.” 

 

“Good.”  She smiled.  Emma had made him a big breakfast that morning, and then they had spent the rest of the day moseying around his house.

 

“Is there anything else you want to do?”  She asked.

 

“Nah,” he shook his head, “I’m good.”

 

“Okay.”  Emma shrugged.  When the check came, she grabbed it before he could.

 

“You know I feel really silly letting you pay,” Justin stated quietly.  He put his arm around her shoulder.

 

“I know you do,” Emma looked at him, “but it’s your birthday dinner, so I am treating.”  She grabbed her purse and pulled out her wallet.  Emma counted out the right amount of cash and put it in the black billfold.  “Ready for cake and ice cream?”

 

“Heck yeah,” Justin replied.  He had been eyeing the dessert sitting on his kitchen counter since she had made it.  He scooted out of the booth and grabbed Emma’s hand as she climbed out as well.  Justin put his hand on the small of her back and led her out of the restaurant.

 

“Thanks again,” he said.  Emma smiled back as he opened the car door for her.  He gave her a quick hug and kiss before she climbed into his car.

 

When they got back to his house, Emma took the cover off of the cake pan.  She found the candles she had bought and was putting them in the cake when Justin walked back into the kitchen.

 

“What are you doing?”  He asked when he saw her putting the candles in the cake.  Justin put his hands on her waist.

 

“What does it look like?”  She asked with a smirk on her face.  “You have to have candles on your birthday.”

 

“Even at 30?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What are you going to do when we have kids?”  Justin loved how serious she was about birthdays.  He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder.

 

“I’m going all out.”  She smiled at the thought and reached for the lighter she found in one of the drawers.  Emma lit all 30 of the candles and then sang to him.  Even though it was kind of cheesy, it made Justin feel special, which she always made him feel.  She even clapped after he blew out all of the candles.

 

Emma turned so she could wrap her arms around him and kissed him.  When they parted, she started to pull the candles out of the cake, and he got out the bowls, spoons and ice cream.

 

After they had served the cake and ice cream, Emma pulled herself up onto the counter and started to eat her dessert.  He picked up his bowl and stood in front of her.  Emma smiled as she watched him eat his birthday cake and ice cream.

 

“What?”  He asked suspiciously.  Justin licked his lips.

 

“Nothin’.”  She smiled.  “I just love you.”

 

“I love you too.”  Justin placed his bowl down on the counter next to her and stepped closer to her.  He put his hands on her thighs and leaned over to kiss her.  Emma put her bowl down and wrapped her arms around him.

 

“Happy Birthday,” she said against his lips.

 “For sure.”  Justin kissed her.

Chapter Eleven 

 

May 2011

 

“Can I ask you something Justin?”  Emma asked lifting her head from where it was resting on his shoulder.  The two were lying on her couch watching a movie.  She was on her side, wedged between him and the back of the couch.

 

“Sure.”  He didn’t remove his eyes from the TV.

 

“Will you be honest?”

 

“Of course,” he turned to look at her.  “Why wouldn’t I be?”  Justin sounded hurt.

 

“Because of what I want to know,” she replied.

 

“Emma,” he looked into her eyes, “we’re getting married in two weeks.  I will always, always be honest with you.”  He knew it must be really important for her to know if she was that unsure of what his answer might be.

 

“How many girls have you been with?”  She rested her head on his shoulder again.  Emma could feel the heavy breath he took in and let out. 

 

“Ten or so,” Justin answered, quietly and honestly.  Emma let out a sigh.  She knew he said the truth.

 

“I wish it wasn’t like that Emma.”  He moved, which caused Emma to move, so he could lie on his side and face her.  “In the four years I’ve known you Emma that is something I have come to regret.”  Justin brushed her bangs out of her eyes and behind her ear.

 

“You are giving me the best gift you could give me, and I am sorry I can’t do the same for you,” he continued.  Emma knew he was speaking the truth.

 

Emma’s cheeks turned red as the next question popped into her head.

 

“When we … uh … you know,” she paused.  Justin grinned at her red cheeks.  “Will you, umm … tell me what you like?”  Emma couldn’t look him in the eye as she asked that.

 

“Of course,” Justin answered, “and you have to tell me too.”

 

“But I don’t know,” Emma finally met his eyes.

 

“I know that.  We’ll find out together, K?”  Justin grinned which made Emma giggle.  He kissed her.  “We have to talk about these things, even if they’re uncomfortable for you.  I like my woman to be satisfied.”  He smirked.

 

“Ugh.” Emma pushed his shoulder a little and buried her face in the pillow.  He grabbed her hand with his free hand held it.

 

“I’m honest with you and you’re honest with me.  That’s the deal, right?”  Justin asked.

 

“Right.”  Emma looked back at him and smiled.

 

“So, here’s something else we’ve never talked about,” Justin started.

 

“What’s that?”  She asked.

 

“How many boyfriends have you had?”  He asked.

 

“Two and you,” she answered wondering why they hadn’t talked about this before.  She figured it was just something neither of them had ever felt the need to discuss or bring up. 

 

“A guy in high school … and, uh Bryan.”

 

“Bryan?  Your business partner Bryan?”  Justin sounded and looked a little shocked.

 

“Yes, my business partner,” she answered.  “It was for two years, but really wasn’t going anywhere.  We decided we were better off as friends and starting a business together.”

 

“I never would have put you two together like that.”  He said after he had thought about it a moment.

 

“Tell me about.  Especially for that amount of time too,” Emma said.  She shook her head.  “We had been friends for two years already by then, and it was just kind of pointless.”  Emma sighed. 

 

Justin shifted so he was on his back again, and Emma moved so she could rest her head on his shoulder again.  He wrapped his arm around her so his hand was on her shoulder, and pulled her closer to him.

 

“So what did you think of the house we looked at today?”  Justin asked.

 

“It was nice.  I just hate to give up my little home here.”  Emma answered.

 

“I know,” he replied.  “But we can’t live with Trevor forever, and if we’re going to make Arkansas my home I want some say in it.”

 

“Well that’s only fair,” Emma agreed.  “I just don’t want to live in a place with more than four bedrooms and three bathrooms.”

 

“I know you don’t.  Maybe we should check out some places on the lake.”

 

“That’s not a bad idea,” Emma said.  “I do like the lake.”  It was quiet for a minute.

 

“Your Mom, Dad, grandparents and Trace are coming in on Friday right?”  Emma asked.

 

“Yeah,” Justin nodded.

 

“I’m going to put your grandparents in my room, parents in Trevor’s, and you and Trace can be in the guest room, and I’ll stay in the den with Fee.  Trevor’s just going to stay at Mom and Dad’s.” 

 

“You have it all figured out,” he smiled.

 

“I always do.”  She returned his grin and shifted so she could lie on top of him.

 

“Of course.”  He brought his hands up to her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss.  Emma yawned after he kissed her.  “Tired?”

 

She nodded and hugged him to the best of her ability despite the couch cushions.

 

“Do you want to go to bed?”

 

“I’m comfortable like this for a while.”  She rested her head on his shoulder again.

 

*  *  *

 

“Fee!”  Emma squealed when she opened the door to see her best girl friend, who she hadn’t seen in a few years.

 

“Emmy!”  Fee squealed to and wrapped her arms around her.

 

“I’m getting married!”

 

“I know!”  They started to jump up and down in each others arms.

 

Justin was a little surprised at Emma’s “girly” actions.  He looked at Trevor with a raised brow.

 

“Fee is the only person who can make Emma be all girly,” Trevor explained and then stood up to great his sister’s maid of honor.  “Fefe!”

 

The taller of the two women turned to glare at Trevor.  He knew she hated that nickname.

 

“You know I hate that,” Felicia pointed her finger at him.  “I should have brought Roger along to beat you up.”  She wrapped her arms around him anyway and kissed his cheek.

 

“But what fun would that be?”  He pulled away from her.

 

“Lots.”  Fee grinned.

 

“I wish he could be here.  I really wanted to meet him,” Emma said.

 

“I know,” she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.  “But he’s got a show opening this weekend, and he cannot not be there.  So now … I have to meet the Justin Timberlake who stole your heart.”  Felicia’s eyes scanned the small space, and she walked over to Justin and Trace who had both stood up from the couch.  “I’m Felicia.”

 

“Justin and this is Trace – the best man.”  He shook her outstretched hand.  “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

 

“You too,” she said and then turned back to Emma.  “Okay … so you’ve got to come out and see the dress, and I need to give you guys your present now so I can get it out of my car.”

 

“Awesome,” Emma smiled.  Felicia looped her arm through Emma’s and the two girls started toward the front door.  “Come on boys.”  Emma called over her shoulder.

 

Justin, Trace and Trevor followed the two girls out to the car Felicia had driven from New York City in.  Fee opened the back door and pulled out the dress that was hanging from the hook in a plastic bag.

 

“So what do you think?”  She held the dress up, still in its plastic, to herself.

 

“Love it,” Emma gushed.  “It looks so much better in person than in a photo.”  Emma had let Fee design and sew her own maid of honor dress instead of buying one at a store.  The dress was black with an empire waistline that was delineated with a band of teal fabric, which was repeated at the neckline and straps, which crisscrossed in the back. 

 

“It’s perfect.  You did such a great job with it.  And that teal matches …”

 

“Well I’m so glad you were able to send that swatch otherwise it just wouldn’t of worked,” Felicia said.  “I’ll try it on, but first.” She handed the dress to Emma so she could hold it.  “Trevor come and help me out.”

 

Felicia unlocked the trunk and opened it.  Trevor grabbed one side of the flat box, Felicia the other, and together they pulled it out.  It barely fit.

 

“I almost cried because I didn’t think it was going to fit, but Roger reminded me to put the seats down,” she explained as they finished pulling out the 5’ by 5’ box.

 

“No way!”  Emma said when she realized what was going to be inside of it.  She was excited, and Trace and Justin didn’t know what to think.  Trevor just went along with it.  “Is that …?”

 

“You two have to close your eyes.”  Fee smiled and when they did, she laid the box flat on the grass.  She opened the top and pulled out the 5’ by 5’ canvas with the help of Trevor.  They had to take the plastic off, and then they stood on either side so they wouldn’t have to lean it against the car.

 

Emma could barely contain herself as she held onto Justin’s arm.  Justin was getting excited because Emma was.  Trace had been handed the dress and was now just staring at the work of art in front of him.

 

“Okay.”  Fee said.

 

Emma and Justin opened their eyes.  They took in the abstract teal, black and white painting.  Somehow it was musical the way Fee had painted the letters ‘E’ and ‘J’ over and over again, filling the canvas, different sizes and directions, in the same script font they had used on their invitations.

 

“Love it,” Emma gushed.  She stepped closer to the canvas so she could take it all in.  “How long did you work on it?”  Emma wanted to touch it, especially in the areas where the paint was raised.

 

“Two weeks … Roger was going crazy because I wouldn’t go to sleep and barely ate.  And he tried everything,” Fee laughed.  “I was inspired.”  She shrugged.

 

“It’s all you guys’.  I didn’t even make prints of this baby.”

 

“It’s so,” Emma searched for the right word, “musical.”

 

“Exactly.  That’s what I was hoping for because you two both love music,” Fee explained.

 

“Well, it’s brilliant.”  Emma wrapped her arms around Fee.  Fee let go of the canvas to return the hug.  “Thank you.”

 

“Your welcome,” Felicia pulled away.  “It was the best thing I could think to do that would show you how happy I am for you.”

 

The five of them stood in her front yard staring at the painting until Trevor got tired of holding it. 

 

“Have you done any painting lately?”  Fee asked Emma as they were wrapping up the painting.

 

“Not since I was out there with you,” Emma answered.  She looked over at Justin and smiled.  He was conversing with Trace and Trevor.

 

“Does he know about that painting?” 

 

“Oh yeah,” Emma waved it off.  “He found it entertaining.”  Fee giggled.

 

“Hey, remember when Bryan was our model in figures?”  She laughed.

 

“Ugh!”  Emma groaned as her face turned red at the thought.  She had almost forgotten. 

 

“You looked just like that,” Fee laughed and pointed. 

 

Justin glanced over at her when he heard that.

 

“I couldn’t even talk to him on the phone for two weeks after.  That was so embarrassing because everyone knew we were dating then,” Emma sighed. 

 

“To who?”  Justin asked.

 

“Bryan,” Emma answered and explained the whole thing to Justin.  He just shook his head and when she stood up, he wrapped his arms around her.  “Can you take the painting in for us?”

 

“Sure.”  Justin rubbed her back and then stepped away to grab the box Fee was holding. 

 

Fee grabbed the dress from Trace and the five of them went back into the house.  Emma and Felicia disappeared into her bedroom leaving the guys to fend for themselves.

 

*  *  *

 

“Oh Emma Leigh,” Karen gushed when Emma stepped out of the bathroom with the gown on.  They were in the master bedroom at her parents’ house.

 

“Justin’s going to love that,” Lynn said.  Lynn and her mother, Sadie, were there along with Fee and Emma’s Grandmother, Lucille, to see the dress.  “I think he would love anything though.”

 

“Probably,” Emma smiled.  It was Thursday and the wedding was on Saturday.  She couldn’t believe the wedding was already there and with all the last minute things she was ready for it to be over.

 

“Sweetheart,” her Grandmother started when she saw the tattoo on her back.  “Are you going to cover your tattoo?”  She was always concerned about Emma’s tattoos and what other people would think.

 

“I don’t know yet Gran,” Emma answered.  One more thing to worry about.  She would probably leave it alone because Justin was always fascinated by it.

 

“I like seeing it,” Fee stated.  “It shows your personality.” 

 

“Thanks.”  She walked over to the mirror in the room.  Emma stopped in front of it and looked at herself, taking it all in. 

 

The strapless, white dress went down to the floor and from the waist down an off-white transparent fabric fell that had some beading and lacing that lined the hem and went up the middle of the dress in the back.  The same fabric also wrapped around the waist and made somewhat of a bow in the front.  Overall, the dress was pretty simple.

 

“Are you excited?”  Karen asked and stepped closer to Emma.

 

“Yeah, but I’m ready to get it over with, wedding planning is too stressful,” she explained.  The four older women laughed, knowing what she was expressing.

 

“Enjoy it because it’ll be over before you know it,” Lynn said.

 

“I’m gonna do my best,” Emma stated.

 

“How about lunch?”  Karen asked after a couple of minutes in silence.  The women all agreed and left Emma and Fee in the room to help her out of the dress and put it away.

 

“We’re going out tonight right?”  Fee asked as she was putting the dress on the hanger.

 

“Yeah,” Emma answered as she pulled her jeans on.  “The guys are going with us though.”  She put her T-shirt on and then walked over to the bed to help put the dress in its bag.

 

“Lame.”

 

“Well Dickson Street is not that big so we’d probably end up running into each other anyway especially because the college kids are all gone,” Emma stated.  “And it would just be the two of us and Bryan that’s kind of lame too.”  Fee laughed.

 

“Can we get you smashed?”  She asked mischievously.

 

“Fee!”  Emma really wasn’t that shocked her friend would ask that.

 

“What?”  Fee zipped up the dress bag.

 

“You cannot get me smashed.  I’ll have a couple of drinks, but no more.  Got it?”  Rule setting was one thing Emma had mastered since she met Felicia.

 

“Sure.”  Fee answered with a wink.  Emma rolled her eyes.  “So Hog Haus and Willy D’s?”

 

“That’s what I was thinking,” Emma responded.  They walked out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen.  “I don’t think I’ve ever taken Justin down Dickson.”

 

“Dickson?”  Justin asked. 

 

Emma was startled to see him and the other guys in her parents’ kitchen.  Her Dad had taken them to one of the golf courses nearby that morning, and they weren’t expected back until later that day.

 

“Hey, you guys are back already?”  Walking over to him, Emma gave him a hug and kiss.

 

“We just decided to play nine holes and see what you girls were up to.”  He left his arm around her shoulder when she leaned into his side.

 

“So how’d you guys do?”  Emma asked.

 

“Not bad,” Justin answered and started talking about the game with their Dads and Trace.

 

*  *  *

 

Justin and Emma finally were able to get some time to themselves at the end of the night on Friday when he had insisted on driving her to her parents’ house, following their rehearsal dinner. 

 

“Can you believe that tomorrow is the wedding?”  He glanced over at Emma who was resting her head on the window.

 

“Not really,” she answered.  “I’m just ready for it to be over.  All this planning and running around is driving me crazy.”

 

“Well tomorrow you can try to relax and not worry about a thing because we have Jill to do that for us.”  He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

 

“Thank goodness.”  Emma lifted her head off of the glass and smiled at him.  “Are you ready?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.  You know?”  Even though he was nervous about their pending nuptials the following day, he knew that it was what he wanted: to spend the rest of his life with her.  It was a scary venture, but there wasn’t anyone else he would rather go for it with.

 

“Yup.”  Emma nodded in agreement.

 

Justin parked the car in front of Emma’s parents’ house, and he unbuckled his seatbelt so he could turn and face her.  Emma did the same.

 

“So,” he said.

 

“Hmm …” She hummed.

 

“I’m happy.”

 

“I am happy too.”   Emma smiled and leaned over the center console so she could kiss him.  It wasn’t very comfortable.

 

“Let me walk you to the door.”  Justin stated.  Emma nodded and reached for the handle.  They got out of the truck and Emma walked around to where Justin was.  He grabbed her hand and they walked up to her parents’ front door.

 

“I’m excited to see you at the end of the aisle tomorrow.”  Justin pulled her close to his body, and she wrapped her arms around him. 

 

“Oh yeah?”  Emma asked.

 

“Yup.  I bet you’ll look hot,” he grinned.  “And then I’ll get to take it off.”

 

“Justin,” she raised an eyebrow, poking him in the chest.  “If you keep that up I’m gonna make you wait longer.”

 

“Four plus years was too long.  I probably forgot.”

 

Emma pulled away from him, “I’m going in.”  She smiled.

 

“Awe, come on, don’t be like that Emmy.”  He hugged her closer to him.  “You know I love you, but you’re just so easy sometimes.”  Justin teased.  Emma pinched his side, but let him kiss her.  “I am so ecstatic about being with you, and loving you, and everything that comes with being your husband.” 

 

“Good,” Emma sighed.  They stood, wrapped in each others arms, for a few minutes, just kissing.

 

“I don’t want to, but I’m going to say goodnight now,” Justin said.  He rested his forehead against hers.

 

“Okay,” she said quietly.  Her fingers ran through the hair on the back of his head.  “Goodnight Justin.”

 

“Night soon-to-be Mrs. Timberlake,” Justin kissed her softly.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”  Emma dropped her arms and opened the door.  “See you to-mor-row.”  She sang and stepped inside.

 

“I’ll be there,” Justin grinned.  “Bye Emmy.”

 “Bye J.”  He kissed her again and then turned to go back to the truck.  Emma watched him get in, and she waved as he drove off.  Tomorrow was the big day.

Chapter Twelve 

 

May 2011

 

Emma couldn’t believe it after a year of planning and an 18 month engagement the day was finally here, and she was relieved yet excited.  Justin was going to be hers – forever.

 

Justin’s heart swelled when he saw Emma at the end of the aisle with her father.  This was the first moment of the rest of his life, and he was so happy to have Emma by his side for it.  She looked perfect, and she was all his.

 

Emma and her father made their way down the aisle and stopped just short of Justin.  His smile lit up his face, and Emma couldn’t help but smile either. 

 

“We are gathered here today in the sight of God and angels, and the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the words which shall unite Justin Randall Timberlake and Emma Leigh Sarver in holy matrimony.

 

“Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and instituted by God, signifying unto us the mystical union, which also exists between Christ and the Church; so too may this marriage be adorned by true and abiding love.

 

“Who is it that brings this woman to this man?”

 

“Her mother and I,” Doug said.  He kissed Emma’s cheek and placed her hand in Justin’s waiting one.  Doug squeezed Justin’s shoulder and then sat down next to Karen.

Together they turned to face the minister.  Justin squeezed her hand and let it go.

 

“Justin and Emma life is given to each of us as individuals, and yet we must learn to live together. Love is given to us by our family and friends. We learn to love by being loved. Learning to love and living together is one of life's greatest challenges and is the shared goal of a married life.

 

“But a husband and wife should not confuse love of worldly measures for even if worldly success is found, only love will maintain a marriage. Mankind did not create love; love is created by God. The measure of true love is a love both freely given and freely accepted, just as God's love of us is unconditional and free.

 

“Today truly is a glorious day the Lord has made - as today both of you are blessed with God's greatest of all gifts - the gift of abiding love and devotion between a man and a woman. All present here today - and those here in heart - wish both of you all the joy, happiness and success the world has to offer.

 

“As you travel through life together, I caution you to remember that the true measure of success, the true avenue to joy and peace, is to be found within the love you hold in your hearts. I would ask that you hold the key to your heart very tightly.

 

“Within the Bible, nothing is of more importance than love. We are told the crystalline and beautiful truth: “God is Love.”  We are assured that “Love conquers all.”  It is love, which brings you here today, the union of two hearts and two spirits. As your lives continue to interweave as one pattern, remember that it was love that brought you here today, it is love that will make this a glorious union, and it is love which will cause this union to endure.

 

“Would you please face each other and join hands?”

 

Emma turned to Justin and smiled as he weaved his fingers through hers.  His eyes always sparkled when he was looking at her, but not like they were at that moment.  She squeezed his hands.

 

“Justin, do you take Emma whom you hold by the hand to be your lawfully wedded wife, and do you covenant to be true to her, to love, cherish and protect her, in sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, until death do you part?”

 

“I do.”

“Emma, do you take Justin whom you hold by the hand to be your lawfully wedded husband, covenanting to be true to him, to love, cherish, and honor him, in sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, until death do you part?”

“I do.”

 

“Can I have the rings please?”  The minister asked.  Fee handed Justin’s ring to him, and Trace handed Emma’s to him.  “Thank you.”

“Wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of an inward spiritual grace, signifying to all the uniting of this man and this woman in marriage.”  He handed the first ring to Justin.

“I, Justin, take you Emma, to be my wife, before God who brought us together; to love and cherish you even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, to lead you and share all of life's experiences with you by following God through them. That through His grace, Emma, we might grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.”  Justin spoke, while he slipped the wedding band, which matched her engagement ring, onto her finger.

 

Emma took Justin’s ring in her hand.

“And with this ring, I, Emma, take you, Justin, to be my husband, before God who brought us together, to love you, cherish you, to submit myself unto you in all things, and to follow you through all of life's experiences as you follow God. That through His grace, Justin, we might grow together into the likeness of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.”  Emma said as she placed his ring on his finger.

“Justin and Emma as the two of you come into this marriage uniting you as husband and wife, and as you this day affirm your faith and love for one another, I would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as special and unique individuals, that you respect the thoughts, ideas and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not hold grudges, and live each day that you may share it together - as from this day forward you shall be each other's home, comfort and refuge, your marriage strengthened by your love and respect.

 

“Dear heavenly Father, our hearts are filled with great happiness on Justin and Emma’s wedding day, as they come before You pledging their hearts and lives to one another. Grant that they may be ever true and loving, living together in such a way as to never bring shame or heartbreak into their marriage. Temper their hearts with kindness and understanding, rid them of all pretense of jealousy. Help them to remember to be each other's sweetheart, helpmate, friend and guide, so that together they may meet the cares and problems of life more bravely. And with the passage of time, may the home they are creating today, truly be a place of love and harmony, where your spirit is ever present.  Bless this union we pray, and walk beside Justin and Emma throughout all their lives together. We ask these things in Jesus name, Amen.

 

“Please join us as we say the words our Savior taught us:  Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.  They kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil.  For the kingdom, the power and the glory are Yours, now and forever.  Amen.”

 

Their wedding guests said the prayer along with them.

 

“Justin and Emma in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the giving of these rings and the joining of your hands, I now declare you to be husband and wife.

“May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance unto you, and give you peace. Congratulations, you may kiss your bride.”

 

Justin didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her and kiss her, hard.

 

“I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Justin Randall Timberlake.”

 

Justin kissed her cheek as he pulled away.  Emma was all smiles.  He took her hand and they started to walk down the aisle.  Emma had to stop and hug her parents and Trevor as well as Justin’s parents before they walked the rest of the way.

 

“Nice tattoo,” Justin smirked when they got into the foyer of the church.  He had been surprised to see that it wasn’t covered.  His fingers traced over it.

 

“Thanks.  I’m sure Gran is up in arms about it.”  Emma smiled.  She was on air.  “I didn’t cover it because I know you have a strange fascination with it.” 

 

“I do.”  Weaving his fingers through hers, Justin stepped back to check her out.  “My beautiful, beautiful wife.”  He didn’t think it was possible, but he was falling in love with her all over again.  He sure hoped to have that feeling every day for the rest of their lives.

 

Emma stepped back toward him, and he happily pulled her closer to his body.  They didn’t have a lot of time to themselves before guests started to come out of the sanctuary and they had to greet them.

 

For 30 minutes they accepted hugs and congratulations, until it was time to take pictures.  The immediate family as well as Trace and Fee stayed while the rest of their guests headed out.  They would see them in another hour or so at The Music Hall for the reception.

 

It was on the way to the reception when Emma finally sat back and breathed.  It had already been a long day, and it certainly was not over yet.  Justin wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and she snuggled up against him. 

 

“You wanna know something?”  Justin asked.

 

“What’s that?”  Placing her right hand on his left shoulder, Emma turned a little so she could look into his eyes.

 

“When I saw you walking down that aisle Emma, man … I just wanted to drop down on my knees in thanksgiving.  You looked like an angel.  God has blessed me good.” 

 

“Good, huh?”  She smirked at his grammar. 

 

“Very good.”  He kissed her.  “I can’t believe you’re my wife.” 

 

“I can’t believe you’re my husband.”  Emma’s eyes shown.  “I fell in love again.”

 

“So did I.”  Justin ran his fingers over her cheek.  “You ready to party?”

 

“I’m ready to eat.  I haven’t eaten much at all today,” she answered. 

 

“You trying to pass out on me?”  He teased.

 

“No.  I was avoiding throwing up all over you.”  Justin laughed.  “I am so happy right now Justin.”  She felt like she was looking at him like she had never seen him before.

 

“Me too.”  He knew just what she was saying.  The limo pulled into the lot at The Music Hall and parked by the door.  “Our public awaits.”

 

“Yeah.”  Emma said unenthusiastically.  She really was excited to go in and see their families again.  Emma kissed him just as the door opened.  Justin slid out of the limo and turned to help Emma out.  She grabbed her dress so it wouldn’t drag on the concrete. 

 

“Got it?”  Justin asked.  Emma nodded and put her free hand in his.  She placed her feet on the ground and got out.  They met Jill at the door.

 

“Right on time,” she said looking at her watch.  One thing they had learned about their wedding planner is that she was a stickler for being on time.  “Congratulations again you guys.”

 

“Thanks for everything if I don’t get a chance to tell you later,” Emma said.

 

“No problem.”  Jill smiled.  “You guys go on in.”  She held the door open for them.

 

When Justin and Emma walked inside, JB, who owned The Music Hall and had been recruited to be in charge of music and sound for the night, announced them.  There were some hoots and hollers, and clapping from their guests as the two came in.

 

The Music Hall had been transformed from the cinderblock state that it normally was in, with black fabric hanging from the vault in the ceiling and flowing down the walls to the floor, hiding the exposed steel beams and bland cinderblock.  Underneath the fabric on the ceiling there were twinkle lights, and teal and white lights had been placed every ten feet against the walls allowing the fabric to slightly change colors.

 

Round tables had been set up with white table cloths and two teal table runners crossed over each other in the center.  Low floral arrangements of teal, black and white roses were placed in the center and surrounded by white tea light candles.

 

The stage had been removed and to the left of where it usually was, a long table had been set up where the food was going to be served with the cakes on one end. 

 

They made their way to the front near the food table where space had been left open for dancing.  When the beginning notes of the song they were going to have their first dance to started, Emma smiled.  She had let Justin pick the song so she did not know what it would be, but she was pleasantly surprised.

 

“Good choice,” Emma sighed as she wrapped her arms around him.  Justin put his hands on her waist.

Hoping, praying, I've been waiting
Everybody needs somebody to love
There's no question, straight from heaven
You're my angel, I'm so crazy for you  

“I knew you’d like it.”  He pulled her closer.  Justin had heard it a couple times when Emma would play dc Talk’s Supernatural CD, and she always pointed it out.  He had no doubt that she would like it.

 

You're a Godsend
A blessing from above
You've been God-sent to me
You're the Godsend
I've been dreaming of
You're a Godsend

Holding your hand, touching your face
I will love you now and always I swear
I will never forget that first moment we met
When two worlds collided and I found my best friend

You're a Godsend
A blessing from above
You've been God-sent to me
You're the Godsend
I've been dreaming of
You're a Godsend

I was made for you, you were made for me
In this lonely world, we were meant to be in love

“So will you dance dirty with me now?”  His lips were right next to her ear as he asked the question in reference to his birthday party a few months before.  Emma laughed.

 

“Mm … maybe later, when our grandparents aren’t watching.”  She placed a kiss on his ear as she said that.

 

“I like that.”  He knew, just as much as she did, that it still probably wouldn’t happen.  Emma would always be conservative, even with him now that they were married.

 

“Of course you do.”  Closing her eyes, Emma rested her head on his chest.  She held him and let him lead their first dance as husband and wife.  They were married now – that was a crazy thought.  He kissed the top of her head.

 

I will never forget that first moment we met
When two worlds, they crashed in
And I found my best friend

You're a Godsend
A blessing from above
You've been God-sent to me
You're the Godsend
I've been dreaming of
You're a Godsend

                                                                                            

After their dance, they talked with some of the guests before it was time to sit down and eat dinner.  While they were eating, Fee and Trace gave their toasts, and both got some laughs and applause with what they said about their friends.  Emma enjoyed some of the things Trace had to say about Justin, and the same went for Justin with what Fee had said.

 

When dinner had been eaten along with more socializing, it was time to cut the cake.

 

“The cake is too pretty to eat.”  Emma looked at it.  The wedding cake was a simple, modern, square three-tiered cake with teal-colored frosting and a band of black frosting around the bottom of each tier, while the groom’s cake was shaped like a treble clef with black frosting.

 

“It can’t stay like that forever,” Justin smirked.  He picked up the knife they were going to use to cut it up.  “Let’s do this thing.”  Emma nodded and put her hand on his.  Together they easily sliced through the cake.  She grabbed one of the small plates that were there, and he put the piece on it. “Me first!  Me first!”

 

“You want to eat the cake or stuff it in my face first?”  Emma asked.  Justin laughed at her question and broke a piece off, holding it in front of her mouth.  Emma opened her mouth letting him put the piece in it.  He wiped frosting that was on his finger off on her nose.

 

She shook her head, picked up the rest of the slice and held it up to him.  Before he could react to the gesture, Justin had cake all over his nose, mouth and chin.  The bigger pieces fell to the floor.  Justin rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss her.  He wrapped his arms around her and wouldn’t let her go when she tried to pull away.

 

“That’s some good cake.”  Justin grinned.  While he reached for a napkin to wipe off his face, he kept their bodies pressed together.  Justin cleaned off his face and then wiped hers.  He tapped her noise a couple of times and then kissed her again.  “I still love you, ya know.”

 

“I know.”  Emma smiled.  “I just couldn’t resist.” 

 

“Of course you couldn’t.”  Justin chuckled.  “Do you want a piece of this cake?”

 

“Actually, I want a piece of your cake,” Emma said as she eyed the music note-shaped chocolate cake.  He cut a generous sized piece and put it on the plate for her.  “I hope you plan on helping me with this.”  She held up the plate when he handed it to her.

 

“I will.”  He smiled.  They moved out of the way when Jill shooed them away so the caterers could cut the cake for everyone else.

 

Justin and Emma sat down at their table to eat the cake and enjoy each others’ company.  They talked quietly to themselves and shared a few kisses before being interrupted by Emma’s grandparents saying “bye.” 

 

The rest of the reception was spent talking and dancing.  And when they left, the two walked through a sea of bubbles on their way to the limo.  Emma curled up against Justin and dozed a little on the way to their destination.

 

Instead of going back to Emma’s house, which was full of houseguests, they had reserved a room at the Inn at Carnall Hall, which had once been a women’s dormitory on the University of Arkansas campus, for the night.  They were leaving for Italy the following afternoon. 

 

When they got to the Inn and into their room, both were surprised at how done up it was and all the goodies that were in the small space.  After the excitement had worn off, Emma sat down on the bed and looked up at him.

 

“I could fall asleep in this,” Emma stated.  He loved seeing her sitting there, on the bed, in her white dress, looking very sleepy yet beautiful. 

 

“At least put your pajamas on,” he suggested. 

 

“You’re gonna have to help me out then.”

 

“I was planning on it.”  Justin grinned.

 

“I’m sure you were.”  She smirked back.

 

Emma found her overnight bag and unzipped it.  On top were her pajama pants and tank top that she usually slept it.  She really hadn’t planned anything fancy for their first night together.  And she really was too tired to venture down that road for her first time, and Emma figured Justin wouldn’t push her.  She was still nervous though.

 

“Can you unzip me?”  She asked shyly.

 

“Sure.” Justin stood behind her and grabbed the zipper.  Before he pulled it down though, he placed a kiss in the middle of the cross on her back.  Something he had wanted to do since the first time he saw that tattoo.  He unzipped the dress slowly.  “There you go.”

 

“Thanks,” she stated and kept her back to him as she picked up the tank top.

 

Emma blushed as the dress fell a little when she pulled the tank top on over her head.  She turned a little to look at him as she pulled the dress down further so she would be able to step out of it to put on her pajama pants.  Justin was clearly enjoying what he saw; his new wife in just her tank top and panties.

 

When Emma saw the way he was looking at her, she turned even more red and then quickly pulled on the pajama bottoms.  Who knew she would be this shy about it.

 

“I need to put this away.”  She didn’t meet his eyes as she bent over to pick up the dress.  Emma put the dress on its hanger and into its bag.  Justin watched her walk across the room and hang it up in the closet.

 

“Come here,” he said quietly.  Emma met his eyes as she stepped into his waiting arms.  “You are so beautiful.  There is nothing to be shy about.”  He kissed her and his hands wandered to places she had not let them go before. 

 

Before she knew it, they were on the bed, and he was still exploring her soft skin with his fingers and his lips.  Emma let out a sigh and let her eyes fall closed.

 

“Are you gonna fall asleep on me?”  Justin whispered.

 

Keeping her eyes closed, she nodded.  Emma really liked what he was doing and the way he was making her feel, but she really was exhausted from the long day.

 

“Okay.”   He knew she was tired, so was he.  “I’ll be right back.”  Justin got up and disappeared into the bathroom.  When he came back into the room, Emma had already fallen asleep.  Quietly, he said, “Em, lift up, I’m gonna get the covers.” 

 

She barely moved, but he was able to pull down the bedding and then cover her back up before crawling under them next to her.  She rolled over and snuggled up against him as he put his arm around her.

 

Not exactly how he had ever pictured his wedding night, but it really had been a long day and sleeping sounded so good, especially next to Emma.

 

Chapter Thirteen 

May 2011

 

“I’m so excited.”  Emma grinned as she and Justin climbed the steps of the private jet that was going to take them to Rome for their honeymoon.

 

“I know you are.”  Justin couldn’t help but feed off of her excitement.

 

“Good morning Mr. Timberlake, Mrs. Timberlake,” the pilot greeted them at the door along with a flight attendant.

 

“Morning,” Emma replied.  She looked at Justin.  Emma didn’t think she could ever get used to being called that.  They stepped onto the plane followed by two of Justin’s security team who were coming along because they were going to Italy during tourist season.

 

“This is so cool.”  Emma looked around.

 

“Go ahead and get settled.  We’ll put your bags away,” the pilot said.

 

“Is there anything I can get you before we take off?” the flight attendant asked.

 

“I’m good,” Justin answered and looked at Emma who was excitedly looking at everything on the plane.  “Emma?”

 

She turned to look at him and the woman, “No thanks.”  Emma opened a door, assuming it was just a bathroom, but was shocked when she saw a bed instead.  “There’s a bed in here, Justin!”

 

“I know,” Justin grinned.  Her excitement made him chuckle.  Justin walked over to the door and leaned against the frame.  Emma had sat down on the edge of the bed.  She looked up at him with a grin.

 

“This is crazy.  You know we could of just taken a normal flight over there.”

 

“Nah …” He shook his head.  “I’m going all out for this … for you.”

 

“Pardon me,” the flight attendant interrupted.  “We are ready to take off.”

 

“Great,” Justin replied.  Emma stood up and wrapped her arms around him.  He hugged her back.

 

“Thanks.”  She kissed him quickly.

 

“Always.”  Justin let his arms fall as she stepped back.  They walked the short distance to the two free seats and sat down.  They settled in for the 13-hour journey across the Atlantic.  They were going to arrive in Rome about 10 a.m. local time, which would only be 4 a.m. in Arkansas.

 

*  *  *

 

“I want to go explore.”  Emma stood in front of Justin who had sat down on the bed in their hotel room.  She was wide awake considering the time difference and not sleeping well on the plane.

 

“How about a nap first?”  He asked lying back on the bed and yawning.

 

“Justin …” She whined.  Emma knew what he really wanted as she stepped a little closer to him.  He reached up and grabbed her hands.  Before she knew it she was lying on top of him and he was kissing her neck.

 

They actually had yet to be together in that manner; seeing as how Emma crashed as soon as they got to the Inn the night of their wedding, the last minute packing for their honeymoon, and obviously, there was no way Emma wanted her first time to be on plane.

 

“Please?”  She sighed, loving his kisses and his roaming hands.

 

“I’ve been deprived for so long though …” Justin moaned pathetically.

 

“And I appreciate your deprivation, I really do,” pulling away Emma looked into his eyes with a smile, “but we have the rest of our lives to do that.  It’s not everyday that we’re in Italy.”

 

“Emmy-Leigh.”  His arms stayed around her.  Justin knew she was worried about her first time being physically intimate with someone.  “Are you scared about it?” 

 

“Well, yeah.”  She didn’t want to meet his eyes.  “Who isn’t their first time?”

 

“You don’t have to be though,” Justin stated.  Rolling them over, so he was on top, Justin kissed her slowly in between each word, “It’s going to be wonderful … passionate … lovely … slow … sexy … perfect … fun … fulfilling …” Emma sighed with each of his kisses, but she wasn’t going to give in.

 

“I know, but can we go explore … please?”  She met his eyes, with a slight pout.

 

“Yeah,” Justin nodded.  He didn’t want to push it.

 

“Tonight.  I want to, but just, not right now.”  Emma stated sincerely.

 

“That’s fine.”  He pushed himself up so they were no longer chest to chest.  “What do you have in mind?”

 

“Food for one … it’s breakfast time back home,” she grinned.  “And then maybe the Pantheon because it’s right next to us, and Piazza Navona, which is supposed to be pretty close to here, and we could just walk.”  

 

“Sounds like a plan.”  Justin kissed her again and then pushed himself off of the bed.  “I’ll call the guys and we can head out in a few.”

 

*  *  *

 

“I want to read this to you.”  Emma picked up her Bible that was sitting on the table next to the bed and settled into the pillows.

 

“Okay.”  Justin climbed onto the bed next to her.  He cuddled up next to her – arm across her waist and head on her shoulder – the way he did whenever she read to him.

 

“And I want you to know I’m going to do my best to be this for you … well, maybe not all of it, but I will.  And know that I see some of these things in you too, because I believe this applies to the husband as well.”  She felt him nod against her shoulder as she opened the Bible to Proverbs 31.

 

“A capable wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

 

“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from far away.  She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and tasks for her servant-girls.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

 

“She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong.  She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.  She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches her hands to the needy.

 

“She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all her household are clothed in crimson.  She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them; she supplies the merchant with sashes.

 

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

 

“Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”  Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates.”

 

“What am I in there?”

 

“You are trustworthy … willing … a provider … strong … not afraid … wise … kind … not idle … happy …” Emma looked at him when he shifted so he could look into her eyes.

 

“Can we put that away now?”  Passion filled his eyes.

 

“Yeah.”  She swallowed thickly and her heart rate increased.  Justin took the book from her hands, closed it and placed it back on the table she had picked it up from. His eyes never wavering from hers.

 

“You are all those things and so much more.”  Justin whispered before placing his lips on hers.  Emma let him take her away into another world.

 

*  *  *

 

“Buon giorno, bella,” Justin said.  He had just stepped out of the bathroom.

 

“Hi,” Emma replied.  She pulled the sheet over herself as she sat up on the bed.  Justin leaned over and placed one hand on the bed so he could kiss her.  “How are you?” 

 

“Excellent.  You?”  Justin kept his mouth close to hers.

 

“Good,” she answered before kissing him again.  Thoughts of the previous night filled her mind, and she sighed.

 

“So?”  She knew what he was asking.

 

“It was perfect,” Emma was glowing.  “You were perfect.”  She ran her fingers over his bare shoulder.  His grin grew.

 

“It’ll get better too.”

 

“Yeah?”  Her cheeks turned red.

 

“Oh yeah.”  Justin kissed her and slowly leaned forward so she would lie back down.  Emma wrapped her arms around his neck. 

 

“Justin …” Emma sighed as he kissed her neck. 

 

“Hmm …” He didn’t let up.

 

“As much as I like this, I’m hungry,” she stated just as her stomach growled.  Justin chuckled.

 

“I guess we can get food.”  Reluctantly, he lifted himself up.  “Room service?”

 

“That’s fine.  What time did you say we were supposed to be at the Vatican Museum?”  She leaned over and picked up her pajamas after Justin had moved over.

 

“We’re supposed to get there at five, its 11 now.”  He picked up the phone.  “What do you want?”

 

“Hum …” Emma thought about it for a couple minutes before telling him what she wanted to eat.  While Justin was placing their order, Emma put her pajamas back on and then got up to get ready for the day.

 

By the time Emma was done in the bathroom, their food had arrived.  She picked up the pastry she asked for and sat down next to Justin on the bed.

 

“You want to go to Saint Peter’s before?”

 

“Sure.”  Justin answered.

 

They finished their breakfast and then decided to explore a little before heading toward Vatican City.

 

“So, what’s your book say about this?”  Justin asked.  Emma had bought a couple of tour books for Rome and had been reading them at the few places they already visited.  Right then they were in St. Peter’s Square.

 

“Let’s see …” She reached into the messenger bag she had been carrying around and pulled out the first book.  Emma found the right page.  Justin had already teased her about making them really look like tourists and drawing more attention to themselves with the books, but she would just remind him that at least they had his security watching their backs.

 

“St. Peter’s Basilica was completed in 1614 with the construction of its façade, in a period when the dramatic and theatrical Baroque style had become popular.  The elliptical and similarly Baroque piazza is enclosed by quadruple colonnades with 284 columns, built by Gian Lorenzo Bernini from 1656 to 1666 during the papacy of Alexander VII.  Joined to the atrium of the Basilica by two straight but outward-splayed corridors, the colonnades appear to embrace all who enter the square and, metaphorically, all of mankind.”

 

Emma continued to read the two pages in the book about the piazza and basilica, while Justin listened.  They found some of the things that were mentioned about the structures.  Before they walked over to the line that would take them through security to get into the Basilica, Emma took a couple of pictures to document their stop at this famous church.

 

They walked around inside St. Peter’s for a while until it was time to trek around the Vatican walls to get to the entrance of the museum.  Justin had arranged for a private tour of the museum, at the end of the day so that very few people would be there, and they could enjoy it without the crowds.

 

Emma was really excited the whole time they were in the museum because there were a lot of works of art that she had studied during art school housed in the Vatican.  Justin just stood back and listened as she talked with their guide about a lot of it, enjoying her enthusiasm for the paintings and sculptures.

 

They took their time going through the massive, winding museum, and it was well over an hour before they got to the Sistine Chapel.  The space was empty for the most part, give or take a few people.  Their tour guide talked about it awhile before leaving them alone, as much as he could, to enjoy it.

 

Paying no attention to the floor that was probably filthy and hoping that she wouldn’t get yelled at for doing this – it was a sacred space after all –, Emma sat on the travertine floor before lying down to look up at the ceiling.  Justin looked at her curiously, she just smiled and moved her eyes back to the painting, and when no one said anything about her being on the floor like that, he followed suite. 

 

“Wow,” Justin whispered.

 

“Can you imagine lying on your back for four years painting that?”  Emma asked glancing at him for a second and then back at the ceiling.  She was in awe; Michelangelo’s ceiling was even more impressive in person than in photos.

 

Justin didn’t say anything, but instead reached for her hand, squeezing it and keeping it in his.  He looked at her, more interested in watching her take it all in than taking it in for himself. 

 

*  *  *

 

“This is insane.”  Emma laughed and leaned against the stone wall.  They were in Florence for a couple of days on the second part of their honeymoon, and currently were walking up the 464 steps that would take them up to the top of Brunelleschi’s Dome on the Cathedral of Florence. 

 

The stairs were steep and narrow, and were in all different configurations from spiral to straight.  Emma was feeling a little nauseous from it, and because of the incline, she felt like she was going to fall backward.

 

“No kidding.”  Justin looked down at her and smiled while she caught her breath and bearings.  “You doing okay?” 

 

“I’ll be fine.  Just keep walking behind me.”  She grinned and started walking up the next set of stairs, which never seemed to end.  Justin followed.

 

They headed up a few more sets of stairs before walking down a hallway that when they looked up they could see the curve of the dome.  The next set of stairs they came to went up the side of that curve and Justin had to duck a little because it was low.

 

When they finally made it to the overlook at the top of the dome, Justin and Emma were pleasantly surprised with the view before them.

 

“Look at that.”  Justin wrapped his arm around Emma’s shoulder and pulled her close to him.  They were looking out at the city of Florence and in the distance the Italian countryside.

 

“Beautiful,” Emma said.  “That’s so worth those stairs.”  They were quiet, taking in all that was before them, and because Justin had been able to set it up so that no one else could visit while they were there, they had it all to themselves.

 

Emma pulled her camera out of her bag so she could take some pictures of the view. 

 

“Let me see it.”  Justin held out his hand for the camera.  Emma gave it to him.  He held it up and took a picture of her with the city of Florence sprawled out behind her.  “Nice.”

 

“Can we do one together?” She asked.

 

“Of course,” Justin answered.  He put his arm back around her shoulder and held the camera out with his free one.  They leaned into each other, both smiling, and Justin took two pictures; the second with him kissing the top of her head.

 

“Thanks.”  Emma took the camera back from him when he gave it back to her.  They walked around the rest of the overlook before starting their journey back down the steps.  This time Justin led the way.

 

*  *  *

 

They had spent a total of two weeks in Italy, finishing off their stay at a resort on the Island of Capri, where they just lounged around and enjoyed each other’s company in everyway imaginable before returning back to real, married life and Arkansas. 

 

Emma led the way down the hallway of her house and to the bedroom that would now be theirs – at least until they found a home of their own.  She set her suitcase down by her dresser.  Justin stopped at the door and eyed the sign that was still taped to her door. 

 

“So can I take this sign off of your door?”  Justin asked raising his eyebrows up and down, with a grin.  He was already reaching for the piece of paper.

 

“Sure.”  Emma shrugged and watched as he wasted no time in tearing down the “No Boys Allowed” sign and crumpling it up.  It was going to be weird sharing her room with him now – not that it was a bad thing, it was just new and different.

 

“Is this weird for you?”  He saw the look on her face, knowing that she never had to share a bedroom with anyone before.  Justin brought his bag farther into the room and set it down.

 

“Well … it’s not that I don’t like sharing a bed with you, because that’s really nice,” Emma blushed.  “I just have to get used to sharing my space with you.”  She waved a hand around her room. 

 

“That’s understandable.”  Justin walked over to where she was standing. 

 

“It’ll be better when we find our own house.”  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down so she could kiss him.

 

“Yeah it will.”  He kissed her again, placing his hands on her hips.  “I do have to say though, that I am very happy that Trevor isn’t home tonight.”  Justin walked her slowly toward her bed, well, their bed now. 

 

“I’m sure you are,” Emma said.  She felt herself being lowered onto the mattress.  When his lips left hers, she spoke quietly, “Welcome home, J.”

 

“It’s been home for a while now … even when I was in the other room.”  Justin laughed quietly.  Emma laughed too and placed her lips on his.  She was happy that he felt that way, even when he was in the other room.   

Chapter Fourteen 

 

November 2011

 

Emma loved coming home to the house Justin and she purchased on Beaver Lake, and seeing his Escalade parked in its spot, letting her know that he was home.  Home – it was their home, and she loved it.

 

They had found the house in June and moved in late July.  The house was three stories, just more than 3,100 square-feet, and built on a hill, overlooking the lake.  With the way it was built, the ground floor had the living, kitchen and dining rooms all open to each other and opened out to a huge terrace, with stairs leading down to the boat dock; the second floor consisted of the “garage”, stairways that led either to the ground floor or third floor, and it overlooked the great room; and the third floor had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, the laundry room, as well as a balcony looking out onto the lake.

 

Emma opened the front door and was greeted by Buckley, who liked to wait for her at the door while Brennan usually stuck by Justin’s side.  She gave him a pat on the head, set her bag on the bench by the door and followed the music that was coming upstairs, knowing that would be where Justin was.  Buckley followed her up the stairs that led to the bedrooms.

 

“Hi,” Emma said.  She walked into one of the spare bedrooms, where Justin was playing around on a keyboard.  He looked up at her and smiled.

 

“Hey Emmy, how was work?”  Justin’s lips met hers when she leaned down to kiss him.

 

“It was good.  We finished up the CD booklet for the new compilation that Gotee has,” she told him as she sat down on one of the extra chairs in the room.  “And Bryan and I were thinking of finding a new office ‘cause it’s starting to get a little crowded in there with the people we keep hiring.”

 

“Ya’ll should look for something closer to here, so you’re not driving an hour there and back.”  Justin suggested. 

 

“That’s probably what we’re gonna do because Bryan wants to move up to Rogers and we’re on the north side of the lake, it only makes sense.”  Emma nodded in agreement.  “We’ll see though.  So what’d they get done in the guesthouse today?”

 

Because there wasn’t a lot of “extra” space in the house when considering their future plans, they were having a guesthouse/studio built per Justin’s request.

 

“The electrician put up the light fixtures, and the painters got a lot of the painting done.  So we should be good for the inspector on Friday,” Justin stated.  “And moving stuff in there over the weekend.”

 

“Cool.  Trevor already said he wants to come over and play when the studio is all set up.”

 

“Yeah, I talked to him earlier, and he mentioned that.”  He pressed some of the keys on the keyboard down.

 

“So what were you working on?”  Emma changed the subject.  “It sounded nice.”

 

“Some songs for you,” he replied with a grin.

 

“Oh yeah?”  She was curious.

 

“Yup.”

 

“Is that all I’m gettin’?”  Emma asked.  Justin just nodded in response, and she rolled her eyes.  

 

“When the studio’s all setup, I’m gonna start working on another album of my own.”  It had been more than five years since he had released “FutureSex/LoveSounds.” 

 

“Good, good,” Emma smiled.  She knew he missed it, working on something for himself.  They had been so preoccupied with the wedding and being married for the past few years that there hadn’t been time for him to.

 

“So we’ll probably be having visitors a lot while I work on it,” Justin said.

 

“That’s fine.  I’m excited to hear what you do.”

 

“You know I want to do something that you’ll want to listen to and like.  It’s really important to me that you do.”  He was honest.  They talked about it awhile longer before Emma headed downstairs to start dinner.  Justin followed shortly.

 

“Em?” Justin asked later that night when they were getting ready for bed.  He was in the bedroom while she brushed her hair in their bathroom.

 

“Yeah?” She replied and stepped out of the bathroom.  Emma walked over to the bed and pulled the covers down. 

 

“What I would do now is just not what “FutureSex” was or even “Justified,” ya know?  What if the fans or the label don’t get it?”  Justin asked, sitting on his side of the bed and leaning against the headboard.  He sounded worried.

 

“Justin,” she looked into his eyes.  Emma climbed onto her side and pulled the covers up over her legs.  “Do what makes you happy.  You’re not going to be motivated to go out there and do your job if you’re writing and singing about things you don’t want to.  If you do what’s in your heart, than people will love it.”

 

“What if people think I’m sellin’ out or something?”  Mister self-confident, didn’t sound so confident.

 

“Seriously … Justin?  Did you just ask me that?”  Emma shook her head.  She changed positions so she was facing him.  “Look if people think that, then they were never real fans.  Besides that, at least you’d be ‘selling out’ to something greater than drugs and sex.”

 

“But I like sex.”  He grinned.

 

“Justin …” Emma scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“Okay, okay … I know, I know what you’re saying.”  Justin pulled her arms away from her body.  He didn’t want her to be mad at him.  “It’s just going to be a different direction than what I’m used to.”

 

“And I know you can do it,” Emma smiled.

 

“And like I said earlier, I really want to do something that you’ll want to listen to,” he said.  “I want it to be something you’ll like.”

 

“It doesn’t have to be though.”  She didn’t want him to do it for her.

 

“I know.  But I just – we’re married now, and it’s really important to me that you like what I do,” he stated honestly.  “And that you support it.”

 

“I’ve never, not supported you.”

 

“I know, but you’ve never really liked it.”  He looked hurt.

 

“If I’ve ever hurt your feelings about your music than I’m sorry.”  Emma met his eyes and smiled softly.  Justin nodded in response and leaned over to kiss her.  The kiss broke whatever tension may have been in the room.

 

“I love you, J.”  Emma had her hands on his cheeks as she said that.

 

“I love you too, Emmy,” Justin said.  He knew that she always would support him no matter what he sang about, but he truly did want to do something that she would appreciate.  “So what are we reading tonight?”

 

“Let’s see.”  She turned so she could pick up the book and then settled into her pillows.  Justin settled into his position next to her, as she opened it and began to read.

 

*  *  *

 

“Hello?”  The voice carried over the balcony and downstairs to where Emma was in the kitchen.

 

“Hi!”  Emma said loudly.  She put the hot pad down on the counter and headed for the stairs.  “Happy Thanksgiving!”  Emma grinned as she came up the steps seeing Justin’s Grandmother standing by the door. 

 

Justin had left a while ago to pick his Grandparents up from the airport for the holiday, and his parents were going to come the following day.

 

“You too, sweetie.”  The older woman gave her a hug.  “You look good Emma.”

 

“Thanks Grandma, so do you.”  Emma smiled, using the name she had been told to call her.  “I am so happy you guys could come out and miss your usual family gathering.”

 

“We were happy to, and you know how Justin is,” Sadie grinned, “what he wants he usually gets.”  Emma laughed because it was true.

 

“Now, I know Justin said you guys would be fine with the stairs, but I just have to double check with you because we’d figure something out if you aren’t.  I don’t want you guys to get hurt or anything like that …”

 

“We’ll be fine sweetheart.”  She patted her arm.

 

“You sure?”  Emma asked again.

 

“Yes.”

 

“We had planned to use the guesthouse, but it’s just a mess and we couldn’t get it together like I wanted, and then I was thinking since its been so cold it’s probably better for ya’ll to be here anyway and not be walking back and forth.”  Emma rambled.  “I just worry about those stairs; every time my Gran comes over, I can just see it in her face.”

 

“How is your Grandmother doin’?  I was so sorry to hear about your Granddad.”

 

“She’s hanging in there.  It’s hard, but we know he’s in a much better place.”

 

“Of course.”  Sadie nodded.

 

“Justin do you need help?”  Emma turned her attention to Justin when he came in carrying a couple of bags.  His Granddad behind him.

 

“We got it.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes.”  He sounded frustrated.  Emma had been panicking the last few days over houseguests and Thanksgiving preparations.  “You have got to relax.  You’re driving me nuts.”

 

“I’m tryin’…” she sighed.

 

“Good.”  He kissed her quickly.  Justin turned to his Grandparents.  “Let me show you guys to you’re room and then I’ll give you a quick tour of our house.”  Emma greeted his Granddad and then the group headed upstairs to the bedrooms.

 

*  *  *

 

“Emma, I wrote this down so you can have your own copy,” Sadie said as she pointed to a note card with the ever-famous peach cobbler recipe.  Emma was just putting the dish into the oven for the big dinner the following day.

 

“Awesome,” she closed the oven.  “I appreciate it, and I know Justin does too.”

 

“What do I appreciate?”  Justin asked loudly from the couch, overhearing their conversation.

 

“The cobbler recipe.”  Emma answered.

 

“Oooo … yeah I do.  Thanks Grandma,” he turned his head to look at them.  “Now you can make it for me all the time.”

 

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Emma laughed.  “All the time …” she trailed off, grinning at his Grandmother.  “Do you want to see the pictures from the wedding?”

 

“I would love too.  I haven’t seen any.”  She made her way around the counter to sit down at the table.

 

“What? Justin, didn’t you send Grandma and Granddad pictures?”  Emma asked him.  She walked over to a bookcase that was under the stairs and pulled out the photo album with their wedding pictures in it.

 

“Huh … I thought I did.  Sorry.” 

 

“That’s ok Justin,” his Grandma said.  Emma walked back over to the table and set the book down before pulling out a chair to sit on.  Sadie opened the book and flipped through the pages.  “These are fantastic.”

 

“Yeah.  The photographer did such a great job.”  Emma smiled at the recent memories passing in front of her eyes.

 

“So can we be expecting any little ones soon?” Sadie asked, looking up from the pictures.

 

“Oh no,” Emma chuckled.  “Justin and I want to wait at least another year.  We want to have time to ourselves and get used to be married.”

 

“That makes perfect sense.”  She patted her hand.  “There shouldn’t be any rush, just enjoy each other.”

 

“We definitely are.”  Emma looked to where Justin was sitting on the couch, laughing about something with his Grandfather.  She was happy.

 

*  *  *

March 2012

Justin had lived in the studio for the majority of the last four months, and Emma had no idea what he was doing in there because he was being very secretive.  The only thing she had been let in on was the people he had worked with because they were always in and out of their home.  So Emma was surprised when Justin had asked her to come into the studio with him after dinner one spring night.

 

“Okay … have seat.”  Justin gestured to the couch.  He was excited to share his new stuff with Emma, especially after keeping her in the dark for so long.  Emma moved some papers out of the way and sat down.  She watched Justin sit down in one of the rolling chairs and wake the computer up.  “So I’m not really sure how to present this to you.”

 

“It’s okay if you just play it Justin.”  Emma wanted to hear it.  “But you can explain as it goes if you want.”

 

“I guess it’s kind of eclectic.  There’s stuff on there that I know the fans are gonna like and then there’s songs I know you’re gonna like.  There are definitely spiritual songs on it, but then there’s the ‘girl I love you’ kinda songs goin’ on too.”  Emma laughed at his description.  “And I tried to do spiritual songs, with my style … but I think the whole thing ended up being a little more acoustic/piano driven than anything else.  Ya know?”  Justin was rambling and not entirely sure what he was saying so he turned back to the computer screen and hit “play.”

 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine Justin.”  She encouraged with a smile.  Justin scooted the rolling chair closer to her when the music started to play.  Emma slid her flip-flops off of her feet and lifted her legs up so her feet were in his lap.

 

The first few songs were faster and then it slowed down.

 

I'm so tired of the phone baby
I don't like the tone of the way we
Say ‘I love you’ a thousand times
We say those words, but we can't look into each other's eyes 

 

“Awe Justin, I like this.” Emma nudged his thigh a little with her toes.  He smiled, loving her reaction to the song.

 

Oh and I guess we made it
Or at lease we made it this far
And it all looks smooth from here
Oh and in a future day there may be waves but I must say the skies
Have never looked so clearOh and I guess we made it
Cause it ain't far to go from here I'm so tired of the road, baby

 

Driving through the snow, and just maybe
You'll sit back think about the times
When we said those words and we looked into each other's eyes 

Oh and I guess we made it
Or at lease we made it this far
And it all looks smooth from here
Oh and in a future day there may be waves but I must say the skies
Have never looked so clearOh and I guess we made it
Cause it ain't far to go from here

 

And you have given me a heart attack you'll never know
What it's like to have face the fact you might let go
And I won't stand for any thought of that heaven's no
Cause I will cling to you and always have a stronger hold

Oh and I guess we made it
Or at lease we made it this far
And it all looks smooth from here
Oh and in a future day there may be waves but I must say the skies
Have never looked so clear to me baby

Oh and I guess we made it
Cause it ain't far to go from here 

 

“That’s really sweet.”

 

They listened to several other songs, and Justin told her a little about each one.

“This is the last song and it’s the title track, ‘Better Part of Me’.  It’s for you.”  He stated simply.

 

You say that our love is from above

Don’t give up don’t give in now, now

I know your love will always be enough

Oh won’t give up, I won’t give in now, now 

 

Babe you are the better part of me

I believe, I believe you are 

 

I know this love will see us through

When seas get rough

Oh I won’t give up no, I won’t give in now, now 

 

Babe you are the better part of me

I believe, I believe you are 

 

Baby you’re the better part of me

‘Cause I believe, I believe you are

You are 

 

You’re the better part, part of me

The better part of me

 

Babe you are the better part of me

I believe, I believe you are, you are

 

“I love it Justin, I do.  Thank you.”  Emma sighed happily.  “You know I would never give up.”

 

“I know.  That’s just how the song worked out.”  He scooted the chair closer and leaned over to kiss her.  “The next is gonna be a hidden track.  I know you like this worship song and I thought it kind of applied to me.”  Emma grinned when she heard his voice sing the first line.

 

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart 

 

“It’s perfect,” she said when the music ended.  Her eyes were a little teary.  Justin was so happy to see that reaction out of her.  “So how do you feel about it?”

 

“I’m proud of it,” he answered.

 

“That’s all that matters than.”

 

“I want it to matter to you.”

 

“I know you do.”  Emma gave him a smile that let him know she was proud of him.  Justin scooted back in his chair so that he could close the program on his computer.

 

“Are you going to let Bryan and I design the artwork for it?”  She asked, excitedly.

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Justin replied.

 

“Good answer,” Emma chuckled.  “Come here.”  She lowered herself on the couch farther so she was lying down.  When he heard that, Justin stood up quickly, causing the chair he was in to roll backward, and he moved himself so he was hovering over her.

 

“In here?”  Justin wanted to be sure.

 

“It’s been too long.”

 

“I’m sorry about that.” He knew just what she was talking about.  Her arms went around him, and he leaned down to kiss her.  Justin didn’t want to put all of his weight on her, but Emma pulled him down more, giggling against his lips.

 

*  *  *

 

May 2012

 

“Knock, knock.”  Justin poked his head around the corner of Emma’s office.  479design had relocated to different office building and now Emma had her own personal space to work.

 

“Hi.”  Emma grinned seeing him at the door.  She always liked it when he came in for a visit, unexpectedly.

 

“I finished up my thank yous, so I thought I would bring them by.”  Justin walked into the room.

 

“Good.  I was working on your CD now.”

 

“Awesome.  Can I see?”  He walked around her desk to where she was sitting.

 

“Of course,” Emma said.  She opened the rest of the files that she had been working on.  Justin had wanted her to use some of the photos taken at their wedding for it, so she had spent a lot of time cropping them down, into more abstract pieces, and putting them together with his lyrics.

 

“You can sit and look at it.”  Emma stood up.  “Can I have what you wrote?”

 

Justin pulled the folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her before he sat down in the chair she had just vacated.  Emma unfolded the piece of paper and was just about to start reading it when Justin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her down so she was sitting on his knee.

 

“Geez, Justin.”  Emma laughed.

 

“There’s no reason for you to stand.”  Justin kissed her head and looked back at the computer screen.  He really just liked being close to her.  Emma read what was written; most of it was pretty standard, but it made Emma feel good to read what he wrote at the end.

 

“For the better part of me, my Emmy – you have taught me how to love our God and in return He has taught me how to love you (of course not more than him ‘wink’).  Thank you for not being afraid to tell me how it is, for your love, for your support, and for your life lessons.  You have my heart, my mind and my soul.  I love you. 

 

“And for the even better part of me, my Savior – you teach me something new everyday in your words and through my wife.  Thank you for your continual blessings that I am not worthy of and never will be.” 

 

Emma leaned back against him and turned her head so she was looking at him.  Justin curled his left arm around her and brought his attention to her. 

 

“What?”  He asked about the way she was looking at him.

 

“Nothin’.”  Emma shrugged.  “You’re just the sweetest man ever.”

 

“Ever?”  Justin double checked with a smile on his face.  Emma nodded and kissed him quickly.  “I really like the art.  You know, you’re pretty good at what you do.”  He stated, teasingly like he had never seen her projects before.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she teased back, and he kissed her cheek.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Justin started, “before I forget when you put in there where this was recorded at it’s gonna be ‘By the Lake Studio’.”

 

“That’s what you’re calling your studio at home?”  Emma questioned. 

 

“Yup and it’s gotta be written out like this,” Justin picked up a pencil that was on her desk and wrote out “By the ‘Lake Studio” on the sheet he had written his thank yous. 

 

“Clever.”  Emma rolled her eyes a little at the play on words in regards to where they live and their last name – because of the apostrophe.

 

“I knew you’d like it.”  He smirked.

 

“I’ll finish it up this week and let you see the proofs before I send it off to your label and the printer.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.  So can you get out of here?”

 

“Umm …” Emma looked at the clock on her computer.  “I’ve really got to finish up some things here.  Sorry.”  She saw the disappointed look on his face.  “I’ll be home between six and six-thirty.”

 

“Okay.”  Justin sounded a little pathetic, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to pull her away from work.  She let him work on his music so it was only fair that he returned the favor.  “I guess I’ll get out of your hair then.”

 

“All right.”  She stood up so he could get up.  Justin hugged her, and she returned it.

 

“I’ll make dinner tonight.”  He looked down at her, his arms around her waist.

 

“Sounds good.”  Emma kissed him.  They finished saying “goodbye,” and Justin left.

 

Chapter Fifteen June 2012 

“Justin,” Emma said.  She and Justin were lying on their bed.  Emma was half lying on him.  She shifted so she could look up at him with her chin resting on his chest.

 

“Hmm …” He looked down at her.  Justin’s hand rubbed up and down her back.  He loved being with her after he had been gone for a while, it was pleasant, and she always welcomed him back quite nicely, since they had been married a year before. 

 

“You know what today is?”  She asked and moved her hand up his chest.

 

“What’s that?”  He didn’t think he was forgetting an important day.

 

“It’s Father’s Day,” she said.  Emma had been anxious to tell the big news even though it wasn’t something they had been planning, she knew he’d be happy.  Or she hoped he would be, but right now he was giving her an odd look.

 

Emma looked at him, and he could see it in her eyes what she was getting at.

 

“Oh … oh,” realization dawned on his face.  “You’re …?  We’re …?”  He wasn’t entirely sure about actually saying the word.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Emma stated.

 

“Wow …” Justin said.  Emma knew he had to take it all in.

 

“You okay?”  She asked when he didn’t say anything for a while.  Emma traced her finger up and down the cross tattoo on his arm.

 

“Yeah.”  Justin nodded and wrapped his arms around her so he could pull her all the way over on him.  He wanted to feel her.  “It’s just a lot to take in, because we were thinking next year for that …” Justin trailed off.

 

“I know,” Emma sighed and brought her hand up to his hair.  “I was surprised too.” She had been so busy with work and with what Justin was up to that missing her period hadn’t even crossed her mind, and then she had gone to the doctor for her annual, and she had been surprised. “But I’m happy.” 

 

“Me too.”  Justin finally grinned and squeezed her tight.  “So when’s the baby due?”

 

“December 15.”  She smiled and scooted up so she could kiss him.  “I’m three months pregnant.”

 

“So …” Justin counted backward in his head.  “What’d we do in March that we weren’t careful?”

 

Emma blushed, “When we were in the studio, listening to your new CD.”  Justin laughed.  He loved that she would still get shy about the things they did together.  He moved his hands down her back.

 

“That was nice.”  He sighed at the memory.  “How long have you known?”

 

“About three weeks.  I wanted to wait until I could tell you properly.”  She smiled softly. 

 

“I appreciate it.  I’m happy.  I’m really, really happy.”  Justin’s smile widened with his next thought, “We’re going to be parents.”

 

“Crazy huh?”  She moved her head so she could look into his eyes.  Justin smiled and responded by kissing her.

 

*  *  *

 

“Are you doing my laundry?”  Justin asked Emma suspiciously.  She always managed to sneak off with his bags to do his laundry even though he didn’t want her to.

 

“Yes.”  Emma looked over her shoulder where he was standing in the doorway to the laundry room.  She was pulling clothes out of the washer and throwing them into the dryer. 

 

“Why do you do that?” 

 

“Do what?”  She knew what he was asking.  Emma closed the dryer door and started it up.

 

“You know what.”  Justin glared playfully.  He stepped into the small room, kicking a laundry basket out of the way so he could lean against the dryer.

 

“I’m your wife and part of that is taking care of you and part of taking care of you involves washing your stinky clothes.”  She stuck her tongue out at him before putting more dirty clothes into the washer.  “Besides I had to wash my clothes too.  No sense in wasting time and water.”

 

“I guess you got me there.”  It really wasn’t the first time they had had this discussion.  He reached out to run his fingers over her stomach, something he had taken to in the past few days since learning about the baby.  “You feelin’ okay?”  She hadn’t looked to good earlier.

 

“I’m fine.”  Emma nodded.  “You want to fold those for me?”  She pointed to the basket he had moved with his foot a few moments before.  “I’ve got to start packing for our trip.” 

 

They were leaving the following day to drive out to Memphis for the week where Justin was going to have his CD release show, and they were going to spend the 4th of July with his family.

 

“Are you excited to tell your parents the big news?”  Emma headed out of the laundry room.  Justin picked up the basket and followed her back to their room.

 

“Yeah.”  She could hear the smile in his voice.  “Have you told your parents yet?” 

 

“Not yet.  I had to tell you first and then we’ve been doing stuff around here, so I just haven’t had the chance.  We can tell them next Sunday at dinner.”  That was a week away.

 

“Sure.”  They walked through the bathroom and into their closet.

 

Emma had already laid her suitcase on the floor and opened it.  Justin set the white basket on top of the dresser that was in the closet and started to pull out clothes to fold and put them away.

 

*  *  *

 

July 2012

 

It was the night before Justin’s show, and they were at his grandparents’ house for dinner with his parents.  Emma was curled up on their couch next to Justin and while he talked with them, she listened quietly.  Justin smiled at Emma and questioned her with his eyes, asking if she wanted him to share their news.

 

Emma smiled in response.

 

“So Emma and I have some news,” Justin stated when there was a bit of a lull in the conversation.  He could almost see the knowing smiles on his Mom and Grandma’s faces.  “We’re having a baby.”

 

“I knew it,” Sadie said.  “I even said to myself when you two came in ‘she’s pregnant.’”  Emma laughed quietly to herself at that comment, and Justin kissed her forehead.

 

“That’s fantastic news you two.”  Lynn grinned.  There were more compliments from Justin’s Dad and Granddad.  “When are you due?”

 

“December 15,” Emma answered.

 

“Wonderful, just in time for Christmas.”

 

“Yeah.”  Justin smiled.  That thought hadn’t crossed his mind; this baby was going to be a Christmas present for them and it couldn’t have been any better.

 

*  *  *

 

“I’m glad you’re here.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it.  You’ll do great.”  Emma smiled confidently.  Justin’s hands were on her waist, and he was absentmindedly running his thumbs over her stomach.  Emma put her arms over his shoulders and laced her fingers together.  They kissed.

 

“You gonna go sit down now?”  He asked.

 

“Yeah.”  Emma nodded.  “I’ll see you out there.”  She dropped her arms, but not before giving him another hug and kiss. 

 

“Okay.”  Justin smiled.  “Love you.”

 

“Love you too.”  Emma made her way out to the main part of the venue/restaurant that the show was at.  She sat down at the table with Justin’s parents and grandparents.  It had a perfect view of the stage.

 

“How’s he doin’?”  Sadie asked her.

 

“Fine.  I think he’s a little nervous, but I can tell he is excited,” Emma answered.  A waiter came by and asked if she wanted something to drink; she ordered water. 

 

“I can’t tell you how much I like his new songs.  I can see how much you’ve influenced him, and for the better.”  The older woman patted her hand.

 

“Um … thanks.”  Emma blushed.  She knew she had been a big part of how he had grown, but Emma would never take credit for how he had because it hadn’t been her decisions, it had all been on him.

The group conversed with each other until Justin came out onto the stage and his set started.  He started off with songs from his previous releases before stopping to talk and introduce some of his new songs.

 

“Who’s picked up the new CD?”  He picked up one of the extra guitars that sat on the stage.  There were a lot of cheers from the crowd.  “Good, good.  I take it you like it?”  Justin laughed a little into the microphone.  There were more cheers.

 

“I wanted to talk about it a little.  I’m sure a lot of ya’ll were surprised by the spiritual tracks, especially the hidden track, which is clearly a worship song.”  He paused to gauge the crowd’s reaction and then continued, “Most of you know – well, probably all of ya’ll know – that I got married just a little more than a year ago, and I wanted to do music that my wife would willingly listen too.”  Justin teased Emma from the stage.

 

Emma shook her head at that comment.

 

“In all seriousness though – my wife’s a pretty special lady.  When I met Emma, she taught me a lot of things about life and love and good things like that.”  He smiled.  “So this project is what has come out of knowing her and loving her.”  Justin nodded toward his band and they started the next song, which was “The Better Part of Me.”

 

After his set, he had made his way toward where he knew his family was sitting, stopping to talk to a few people here and there.   “They seemed receptive,” Justin stated after he had sat down at the table with them.  

 

“Of course they were you’re Justin Timberlake.”  Emma smirked and leaned into him a little when he put his arm over the back of her chair.

 

“Emma …” he laughed.

 

“It’s the truth.” She stated matter-of-factly.  “People will always like what you do.  You could sing about a blade of grass and they wouldn’t care.”  Justin rolled his eyes.  “It was a good show.  I’m proud of you.”  Emma put her hand on his cheek and turned his face so she could kiss him.

 

“Thanks Em, that means a lot to me for you to say that.”  Justin smiled and then looked around the table.  “So what’s everyone drinking?”  He turned to wave the waiter down.

 

“Actually, Justin we’re going to head out.”  His Dad stood up.  “It’s starting to get late.”

 

“Oh, okay.”  Justin sounded a little surprised.  Emma and Justin said goodbye to the four of them.  “I should probably go mingle.  Do you want to stay here or come with me?”

 

“I can go with you,” Emma answered with a smile.  Justin helped her up and kept her close to his side the rest of the night.

 

*  *  *

 August 2012 

“It’s Noah.  That’s what his name is going to be.”  Emma said.  They had gone to the doctor that afternoon and while there they found out that the baby was a little boy.  Both of them were happy to hear the news that he was growing healthily. 

 

“Is it now?”  Justin raised an eyebrow.  He was sitting on the opposite end of the couch with Emma’s feet in his lap while she lay down.

 

“Yup.”  Emma rubbed her stomach affectionately.  “You can pick the middle name.”

 

“Oh, the middle name … I see how it is.”  Justin teased.  He moved so he was straddling her legs, he put his hands on her stomach and leaned over to kiss her and then her stomach.  “Hi Noah.” 

 

“See, he likes it.”  She smiled when the baby moved. 

 

“You don’t know that.  He could be protesting.”  Justin smirked, sitting back, careful to not put his weight on her legs.

 

“Of course I know I’m his Mama.”  Emma put her hands over Justin’s that were still on her stomach.  “So do you have thoughts for his middle name?”

 

“Mmm …” he thought.  “I’m going to have to think about it, but I do like Noah.  I think it’ll be a good name for him.”

 

*  *  *

 

“I have the perfect idea for his room.”  Emma stated.

 

“Shoot.”  Justin looked over at her from the driver’s seat.  They were headed toward Pinnacle Hills, which was a local outdoor mall, to start shopping for the nursery and other baby stuff.

 

“Because we’re having a boy and naming him Noah, I think it would be completely adorable – albeit cheesy – but I love the idea of doing an ark themed room for him.”

 

“I bet you already have it planned out.”  He grinned in her direction.

 

“Well, what I would like to do is paint the walls like its something from a coloring book, so thick black lines and then filling it in just using basic primary and secondary colors,” Emma explained.  “I picture there being an ark painted on the wall opposite the door and then having the animals lined up on the other walls, like they’re headed to the boat.”

 

“Cute and who is doing all this?”

 

“We are.  I can draw it out in Illustrator on my computer, borrow our projector we use for presentations and project it onto the wall.  We paint the lines black and color it in.  Simple really.”

 

“Yeah … sure.”  Justin sounded hesitant.  “I probably couldn’t paint if my life depended on it.”

 

“Puh-lease,” Emma rolled her eyes.  “It’s not the Sistine Chapel or somethin’.  It’ll be fun to do that together.”  Justin parked the SUV and they got out of it.  “I think we’re going to have to start taking my car, this thing is too hard to get in and out of.”

 

“I didn’t even think about that,” Justin stated as he grabbed her hand.  “Sorry.”

 

“Well, no need to worry about it now because we’re here.”  She smiled and squeezed his hand.  They walked through the parking lot and into a furniture store.  Emma had been eyeing some of the furniture they had in the store the last time she was there, and she wanted Justin to see it.

 

“So what do you think?” Emma asked.  They were standing in front of a crib that she had pointed out.  The crib was black and pretty simple, but she liked it because on one side there were three shelves and the top was meant to be used as a changing table.

 

“Yeah.  That’s cool.”  Justin nodded.  He read the tag attached to one of the posts.  “It says that this will turn into a toddler’s bed.”  Justin pointed to where it said that.

 

“Really?”  Emma hadn’t seen that the last time she was in there.  She looked at where Justin was pointing.  “Well that’s a neat feature.  Yay or nay?”

 

“Definitely.  Unless you want to look around more, I think it’s as a good choice as any.”  Justin grinned at her.  They decided to stick with that crib, and then Emma took him across the store to look at a dresser that would go well with it. 

 

When they left the store more than an hour later, they had bought the pieces they liked and scheduled a date for it to be delivered to the house.  Justin and Emma made their way to the next store.  They spent the rest of the day at the mall, coming home with several bags.

 

*  *  *

 

November 2012

 

Justin and Emma had thought it would be fun to wait to tell their families that they were having a boy when they could show them the finished room.  It had taken a lot of restraint to not share that news, especially with the pestering from their Mom’s who had been planning a baby shower, without what they deemed to be “vital information.”

 

So here it was, Thanksgiving, and they had finished the room a couple weeks before and were on their way up the stairs with their parents and Trevor to show them the room.  Trevor already knew because Emma had made him come over to help them paint a couple weekends. 

 

“You have to close your eyes,” Emma grinned.  The group was standing outside of the closed nursery door.  She waited until they closed their eyes and then opened the door.  Emma and Justin led their parents into the room and situated them so they faced the crib, which above it they had painted the name “Noah.”

 

“Open your eyes.”  Justin stated with his arm over Lynn’s shoulder. 

 

“Noah a little boy that’s wonderful.”  Lynn turned so she could give Justin a hug and kissed his cheek.  “Not that we wouldn’t have been just as excited over a little girl.”  She smirked and moved to give Emma a hug too.

 

“Well this room just fits him perfectly then,” Karen stated.  There was a lot of chatter about the animals lined up around the walls, heading toward the ark. 

 

“It was all Emma’s idea,” Justin said.  He looked over at Emma who had made her way over to the cushy rocking chair in the corner by the window to sit down. 

 

“It’s fantastic.”  

 

“You did a good job sweetie.”  Doug complimented.

 

“Thanks.”  Emma smoothed her hand over her stomach.  “Justin and Trevor both helped out a lot with the painting because I couldn’t be in here with the fumes.”

 

The group stayed and talked some more until a football game the guys wanted to watch was going to start, so they headed downstairs.

 

*  *  *

 

December 21, 2012

 

Justin counted the 10 fingers and 10 toes of his son.  His son.  He liked the sound of that.

 

“Noah James,” Justin said softly.  He held the baby in his arms, readjusting the blanket as one of the nurses had taught him.  Emma was sleeping.  The labor had been long and hard on her and in the end the doctor had performed a cesarean section.  She had fallen asleep right after the doctor had showed the baby boy to them and that was about three hours before.

 

“Justin …” Emma said quietly.  She turned her head toward him, her eyes were half open.

 

“Hey Em,” he said and smiled.  “How are you feeling?”

 

“Tired and sore,” she answered.  Justin stood up with the baby in his arms.  “But everything is okay?”  Emma sat up slowly, feeling the stitches pulling a little as she did.

 

“Yeah,” he answered and carefully moved their son from his arms into hers when she held her arms out to him.  Justin brushed his hand over the dark brown fuzz on Noah’s head.

 

“He’s perfect,” Emma hummed and leaned back against the pillows. She moved the blanket a little so she could see more of him.  Both of them were quiet, taking in the presence of the baby they had created.  “Did you pick out his middle name?”

 

“I decided on James,” he answered.  He had been back and forth about it for the longest time, so Emma was happy to finally have an answer.  Justin picked up the chair he had been sitting on and moved it near the bed so he could sit down by her.

 

“Good, that’s a good name – Noah James Timberlake.”  Emma placed a kiss on his forehead.  “He’s so cuddly.  I love it.”  Justin chuckled at the smile on her face, but he knew exactly what she was talking about.

 

*  *  *

 

“I feel so bad about missing church on Christmas.”  Emma moped.  They had just come home from the hospital, it was Christmas Day, and she had never missed church.

 

“Emmy, you had a baby and major surgery four days ago, and we just got home from the hospital about three seconds ago.  I think God will forgive you for this one.”  Justin teased.  He adjusted the pillows he brought down for her from their bedroom on the couch. 

 

Emma sat down slowly on the couch next to the pillows.  Lynn had taken Noah upstairs to change his diaper when they had got home, while Paul had taken the dogs outside to tire them out before letting them meet the newest member of their family.

 

“Now do you need anything else?”  Justin asked looking at her.

 

“Just my baby.  He needs to eat soon.”  Emma glanced at the clock on the wall.  It had been three hours since he’d last eaten.  “Oh, can you plug in the lights for the tree?”

 

“I can do that.”  Justin nodded and stepped over to the tree to plug the lights in.

 

Lynn came down the stairs carrying Noah who was starting to fuss.

 

“See there she is Noah.  There’s your Mama.”  She patted his back in soothing motion.  Lynn handed Noah to Emma.  “He’s ready for lunch.”

 

“I know,” Emma smiled.  “Can you get me one of those blankets from under the stairs and the nursing pillow – it should be there too.”  Lynn was already over there before she could finish her request and then helped her to get situated with Noah.  “Thanks.”

 

“Just let us know what you need.  I’m going to some sandwiches for lunch,” Lynn stated.  “Your Mom and I have a big meal planned for later tonight that we’re going to start cooking as soon as your parents get here.”  Lynn made her way to the kitchen.

 

“Don’t plop down like that,” Emma said uncomfortably when Justin dropped himself down onto the couch next to her.  She shifted.

 

“Sorry.”  Justin cringed.  He reached over and lifted up the blanket that was covering Noah and herself so he could take a peek. 

 

The door from the back patio opened and the dogs came trotting in followed by Paul.  They immediately went over to Emma and Justin because they had been gone for four days.  Buckley and Brennan both sniffed at Noah through the blanket that was covering him, but other than that they didn’t really seem phased by his presence.  Emma was a little relieved by that, but it was still early to tell how they would really be with a baby in the house.

 

“Do you want them to lie down?”  Justin asked.  Even though they were acting pretty calm, they were still a little pushy with Emma.

 

“They’re okay.”  Emma answered. 

 

“We’re here!”  Trevor’s voice carried down over the balcony and then he appeared above them.

 

“Trevor, you can’t yell like that when you come in here anymore,” Karen scolded.  “Noah could be sleeping.”  Emma’s parents and brother made their way down the stairs carrying presents.

 

“Hah – you got yelled at Uncle Trevor,” Emma smirked at her younger brother as he set down the wrapped boxes under the tree.  “Lucky for you, he’s eating now.”  Trevor sat down on the chair next to the couch on Emma’s side.

 

“How was the trip home from the hospital?”  Emma’s Dad asked as he set the packages in his hands down.

 

“It was nerve-wracking,” Emma answered.  “I swear people drive like crazies.  I’m sorry I missed church this morning.”

 

“Don’t worry about that Emma,” Karen said.  Her voice carried from the kitchen counter behind the couch.  “Everyone’s just glad that you and Noah are healthy, happy and home.  Everyone was handing us cards for you guys.  Trevor, why don’t you and Justin go get them out of the car as well as the rest of the presents.”  She suggested.

 

“We can do that.”  Justin stood up.  There wasn’t much he could do until Noah finished eating.  Trevor and Justin headed up the stairs talking about football. 

 

“Emma-Leigh is there anything you need?”  Karen asked her.

 

“I’m good.  Lynn’s making something for lunch.”  Emma replied.  She lifted the blanket when Noah started to fuss again and knew it was time to switch sides.  Emma got him situated and listened to the conversations going on around her.

 

Justin and Trevor came back in a few minutes later carrying more gifts most of which – Emma was sure – were for Noah. 

 

“Mom, Dad that’s too much.”  Emma sighed as she watched Justin and Trevor set the stuff down with everything else under the tree.

 

“Some of that is from Lynn and Paul.  We went shopping the other day,” Karen defended herself.  “He’s our first grandbaby; of course we’re going to spoil him.”

 

“How’s he doing?” Justin sat back down next to Emma.  He put a hand on her back and rubbed up and down.

 

“Fine.”  Emma answered and yawned.  She nodded her thanks when Lynn handed her a sandwich and set down a glass of milk on the side table.  “I need to take a nap when he’s done and after I eat.” 

 

“Definitely.”  Justin agreed.  “We can keep it down because you’re not really supposed to be going up and down stairs.”

 

“That’s fine.  I think I’d sleep through anything anyway.”  Emma grinned.  Noah finished his meal just as Emma finished her sandwich.  Emma fixed her shirt before she removed the blanket and handed Noah to Justin, who had assumed the roll as official burper.  “Got him?”

 

“Of course,” he smiled.  Noah was curled up against his chest, and Justin’s hand covered most of the baby’s back while he patted and rubbed it softly.  Emma sighed and rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes, and before she knew it she had fallen asleep.

 

It had been a long first day at home, and it wasn’t quite over yet.  Emma was sitting on their bed while Noah ate.  Justin turned off the lamp on his side of the bed and climbed onto it.

 

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Justin said as he settled onto the bed next to Emma.  He rested his head on her bare shoulder and reached out to touch the soft, fuzzy hair on Noah’s head.

 

“It’s a nice thought.”  Emma sighed and leaned her head back against the headboard.  She closed her eyes.  She was tired, but she had to be up to feed Noah.

 

“I still can’t believe we made him,” he stated and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.  Justin loved watching his wife feed his son; there was something comforting about the little noises Noah made while he ate.

 

“Well, we are both pretty creative people,” she smiled softly.  Emma looked down at their four-day-old son before glancing at Justin.

 

Justin had taken to that position when they were alone the first night in the hospital, and whenever she nursed and it was just them he was right there.  Emma had gotten used to it and after the first night, stopped making an attempt to cover herself because he insisted on observing.  And she would let him observe as long as he did the burping and changed his share of dirty diapers.

 

“We sure are …” Justin trailed off.  His world had flipped upside-down the second he first saw and held Noah.  “Merry Christmas Emmy.”  Justin sighed.

 

“You too, Justin.”  Emma looked at the baby, who was slowly falling asleep while he nursed.  “And Noah.”

 

 

Chapter Sixteen 

July 2013 

Justin, Emma and Noah were out and about in Los Angeles while on a short trip, and Emma was beginning to get frustrated with the people following them with cameras.  It was the first time they had taken Noah out in the public – outside of Arkansas – so there were few, if any pictures of him out there, and they could see the excitement in the photographers’ eyes.

 

Justin ignored them for the most part, but didn’t hesitate to make sure Noah was secure in the carrier strapped to his body and that the little hat he had on was hiding his face.  He could tell that Emma was getting more and more frustrated with their presence.

 

“Justin, I want to go home.”  Emma sighed loudly, glaring at the men with the cameras.

 

“Why?” Justin asked.  He wasn’t sure why he even asked this, because it was obvious.

 

“Because of them,” she rolled her eyes and gestured toward the other people around them.  “I don’t want his picture taken.”

 

“He’s fine Em, they can’t see him.”  Justin checked on Noah again.  “Just ignore them.”

 

“Justin – lets go.”  Emma stated with finality.  He sighed, but followed her as she turned around and headed back in the direction of where he had parked.

 

“I don’t see what the problem is.  I thought you were okay with this.”  He was frustrated as he opened the back door.

 

“I said I’d try, and I did, but I’m not putting him out there.”  Emma grabbed Noah from the carrier and put him in his car seat, which was in the middle.  She climbed into the back and sat next to Noah.

 

“What are you doing?” Justin asked when she put her seatbelt on.  Emma very rarely sat in the back with Noah so he knew she was upset with him.  They had been having a perfectly fine afternoon.

 

“I’m sitting back here.”  Emma glared.  “Just get in the car and drive.”

 

“You’re about to cause a scene Emma,” Justin turned and looked behind him, and then back at her.  “That doesn’t help your cause.”

 

“Well you’re not helping either.”  She turned her attention to Noah who was looking up at her with wide eyes.  Justin huffed and unhooked the carrier.  He stuffed it at Emma’s feet before closing the door angrily.  Emma reached for the backpack she used to carry Noah’s stuff and found his pacifier for him.

 

Justin got in the driver’s seat and started the car.

 

“I don’t understand Emma, one second you were fine and the next you’re blowing up at me.”

 

“I was uncomfortable okay.  Can’t we just drop it?”  Emma met his eyes in the rearview mirror for a moment and then looked back at Noah.

 

“Em I wouldn’t put you or Noah in danger like that, and you know that.  They weren’t anywhere near us.”

 

“They were too close.” 

 

“Whatever,” he said just loud enough for her to hear.  Emma rolled her eyes, and they ignored each other the rest of the way back to the house.  When they got home, Emma hid out in the kitchen making dinner, while Justin played with Noah in another room.

 

“Let’s talk.”  Justin was the first to break the silence later that evening.  Emma was sitting on the couch with Noah who was bouncing up and down on her knees, babbling.  He sat down next to the two.  “So, what was up with this afternoon?”

 

“I don’t know.”  Emma shrugged.  “I just really don’t want him to be out there like that.  It’s not fair to him.  You chose to be okay with the cameras, I chose to be okay with them, but he didn’t.”

 

“We’re not out here that much.  Once in a while is not going to kill him,” Justin stated.  He poked at Noah’s side and made a face causing Noah to squirm and giggle more than he was. 

 

“I just want him to be safe.”  She looked over at Justin.

 

“I do too Emmy.”  Justin reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.  “He was perfectly fine, and you know that.  If I was worried about it we’d have been out of there.”

 

“But what about me?  Don’t I get a say in it?”  Emma was starting to get defensive.

 

“Of course you do.” Justin said letting her know he didn’t want her to be upset with him again.  “I am sorry I got frustrated, because I know you tried, and I’m happy you did.”

 

“I’m sorry I got mad too,” Emma apologized and looked back at Noah.

 

“Do you still love me?”  He grinned at her.

 

“Well that’s a stupid question.”  Emma laughed and rearranged Noah on her lap so he was sitting.  Justin leaned over and put his head on her shoulder so he could look at Noah and make different noises and faces, which he enjoyed at six months.  Noah reached for Justin’s mouth and mocked the noises Justin made. 

 

“I will always love you,” she said over the noise the two of them were making.  Emma was content; just her and her boys.

 

*  *  *

October 2013 

 

The sounds of Noah’s newest toy floated over the railing upstairs to where Emma had just come home from work.  She could hear Justin talking animatedly to Noah, encouraging him, while the 10-month old pounded away on the piano keys of the musical toy.  Emma quickly took her coat off, hung it up and made her way downstairs.

 

“Ma-ma-ma-ma- …” Noah chanted when he saw her on the stairs, he smiled widely – revealing a few teeth to her.

 

“Noah … Noah,” Emma grinned.  She loved coming home to that smiling face – Justin’s too.  She leaned over and gave the two of the kisses.

 

“Hi Emmy.”  Justin smiled from his spot on the floor behind Noah who was standing at the toy.  Noah had become more confident with standing on his own and it wouldn’t be long before he started to walk.  “Did you hear his music?”

 

“I sure did.”  Emma answered with a smile as Noah started pounding away again, and she sat down on the floor next to them.  Emma reached out and rubbed Noah’s back.  “So what did you boys do today?”

 

“We played, ate some lunch, changed some diapers, and took a nap … the usual.”  Justin shrugged as Noah plopped back onto his diaper-covered butt and crawled onto Emma’s lap.

 

“Sounds fun.”  Emma happily took her son into her arms, hugging and kissing him.  “Mama missed you today.”  She only went into her office three days a week and spent the rest at home, which allowed Justin to work on his own projects as well.  It was a definite advantage to having her own business.

 

“How was work for you today?”  Justin stood up and stretched.  He and Noah had been sitting on the floor for a while.

 

“Busy busy.”  Emma pushed herself up from the floor with Noah in her arms still.  “I swear if Mr. Stevens sends me that proof back for his brochure one more time, I’m gonna scream.  He’s driving me nuts over the smallest details.  Mama does not like that people like that … no, no, no.”  She shook her head at Noah playfully, as he reached out to play with the necklace she was wearing.

 

“He just doesn’t know that it’s already perfect.”  Justin smiled and leaned down to kiss her.  “Maybe we could meet you for lunch tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah,” Emma answered.  “I want to try that new burger place down the street from work.”

 

“Sure.”  Justin nodded and walked into the kitchen area.  He opened the fridge.  “I was just going to reheat the leftover taco meat for dinner tonight.  Is that okay with you?”

 

“Sounds good.”  She was up for whatever he was willing to make.  “I’m going to change him and get out of my work clothes.”  Emma headed upstairs having a conversation, the best one could, with the 10-month old.  When she was done, the two came back down, and Emma got Noah’s dinner ready for him and settled him in his high chair, just as Justin finished preparing their dinner.

 

After they had eaten and cleaned up, they settled into their typical evening routine, which consisted of playing with Noah, bath time and bedtime, with a little time left for themselves.  Justin and Noah played with a squishy basketball, which Noah loved, rolling it back and forth across the floor. 

 

Noah got bored with that after a little while and crawled over to the chair, where he pulled himself up so he was standing.  He looked over at Emma.

 

“What are you doing Noah?  You gonna come here?”  Emma asked him.  She leaned forward and held her hands out, gesturing for him to come toward her.  Noah grinned, kept his hold on the furniture and made his way toward her.  Emma laughed and picked him up.  “Silly, you’re supposed to let go!”

 

Noah giggled and squealed when she blew raspberries on his stomach.

 

“Dow!”  Noah said.  Emma set him back on the floor, and he put his hands on her knees, looking toward Justin.

 

“You gonna go to Daddy?”  Emma asked him and then looked at Justin.

 

“Come here Noah!”  Justin encouraged.  Noah looked at him like he was thinking about it.

 

“Go see Daddy.”  Noah took a hesitant step away from her, still bracing himself on Emma’s knee.

 

“Come on NJ.”  Emma wasn’t sure when, but Justin had given him that nickname at some point during the last few months.  Noah dropped his hand, took a couple of steps away from her, then dropped down on his butt and into a crawling position, moving quickly toward Justin.  “Good job!”  Justin praised him, a bright smile on his face.  He pulled Noah onto his lap, giving him kisses.

 

“Yay!”  Emma clapped.  Noah clapped his hands too, feeding off of his parents’ excitement.  He didn’t know what he had done to garner that excitement, but he liked it.

 

“You’re such a big boy Noah.”  Justin was amazed everyday with every little thing that Noah accomplished.  He kissed the little boy’s head, and Noah shifted so he was snuggled up against Justin’s chest with a yawn.

 

*  *  *

 

September 2014

 

“EnEn!”  Noah screeched and then broke into tears.  He had dropped the cookie he was eating on the floor, and Brennan had quickly snagged it up.  Emma sighed, having seen it all.  “Mama … cookie …” He managed to get out in between his tears.

 

“I know.  We’ll get you a new one.”  She grabbed a cookie from the container on the counter and held it out to Noah who was standing at her feet. 

 

“No.”  He pushed her hand away and pouted.

 

“Fine.  It’s time for bed anyway.”  Emma was as tired as he was.  She put the cookie back where it came from and reached for her cell phone when it rang.  “Hello.”  Emma sounded exasperated.  She needed a break, and Noah was still crying.

 

“Hey!”  Justin’s voice came over the phone, “What’s going on out there?”  He could hear Noah crying in the background. 

 

“Brennan ate his cookie.”  Emma explained as she rubbed her forehead.  “It’s bedtime.  Noah?  Do you want to talk to Daddy?”  Emma held the phone out to him.

 

“No.”  Noah shook his head and pushed it away too.

 

“He’s tired.”  She said after she brought the phone back to her ear.

 

“I can tell.”  He sounded a little upset.  Noah almost always wanted to talk to him, so that was a first.  “How about you?”

 

“I’m tired, with work and then Noah … and I just want you home.”  She sounded like she was on the verge of tears herself.  Justin had been in L.A. for a month, working on a soundtrack for a new movie, and she missed him and it was stressing her out.

 

Emma balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear so she could pick Noah up.  He was still sniffing a little, but he rested his head on her shoulder. 

 

“I wish I was there too.”  Justin sighed.  He missed everything about being there – even Noah in hysterics.  It was quiet for a second, both of them in thought.  “Why don’t you come out this weekend?”  He suggested.

 

“Oh, geez … I don’t know.  That’s a lot of traveling for Noah.”  Emma hesitated.

 

“Just you – not that I don’t want to see Noah,” he added that qualifier.  “But I’d love to just have a weekend for us.” 

 

“That sounds nice.”  Emma smiled at the idea.  It had been so long since it was just the two of them, but she felt bad about leaving Noah for the weekend.  “I’d hate to leave him though.”

 

“I know …” Justin understood her hesitation, but he really did want to see her.  “Why don’t you call your parents and see if they’ll take him for the weekend.  I know they’d love to have him. … Just think of what we can do.”

 

Emma could just picture his face. 

 

“Okay.”  She gave in just like he knew she would.  “Let me put Noah to bed and call my parents.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.”  Justin smiled.  “Let me say ‘night’ to NJ.”

 

“Noah, Daddy wants to say ‘night.’”  She held the phone up to Noah’s ear.

 

“Night Daddy … … … love too.”  Noah sighed and turned his head in the other direction.

 

“I’ll call you back in a while.”

 

“Bye.”  They both hung up.  Emma stuck her phone in her pocket and headed toward the stairs.  Emma and Noah did their nightly routine, and after Noah had fallen asleep, she called her parents, who agreed to watch Noah for however long they wanted, and then called Justin back.

 

*  *  *

 

“Justin!  I’m here!”  Emma yelled as she opened the front door.  The car Justin had called for her just dropped off from the airport.

 

“I’m up here!”  Justin hollered back and then appeared at the top of the steps, before coming down them quickly.  “Emmy!”  His arms went around her as soon as his feet reached the bottom.

 

“Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you.”  Emma’s smile went from ear to ear as she wrapped her arms around Justin’s neck.  It had been too long.  He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.  He laughed at her enthusiasm and then kissed her.

 

“I missed you too,” Justin said when he pulled away.  “You don’t know how much.”

 

“I bet I do.”  Emma dropped her legs from his waist and put her feet back on the ground, keeping her arms around him.  “I hated leaving Noah.”  She rested her head on his chest.

 

“I know you did.  It’s always hard to leave the both of you.”  Justin squeezed her and kissed the top of her head.  “So what should we do first?”

 

“I don’t know what to do with myself without Noah,” Emma laughed.  She had practically been glued to Noah’s side for 21 months.

 

“Should we go grab something to eat?”

 

“Sure,” she answered.  “Let me take a quick shower and change.  Where do you want to go?”

 

“Somewhere nice, I’m gonna take full advantage of this weekend.”  Justin grinned.

 

“I’m sure you are.”  Emma shook her head.  She dropped her arms from around him and reached for her bag.  Justin grabbed it before she could.

 

“I got it.”  He held her hand in his free one.  “Let’s get this weekend started right.”  Emma followed him upstairs to their bedroom.  After they showered and changed, they ate a quiet dinner out and returned to the house.

 

“Music and drinks?”  Justin asked when they got back.  The night was turning out to being like when they first started dating, but with talk about Noah. 

 

“Sure,” Emma answered.  “I’ll pick the music and you can pick the drinks. I have to show you the pictures I took of Noah yesterday too.”  She walked over to the stereo and searched through his music before finding what she wanted to listen too.  After she had turned the sound system on, Justin had come into the living room and sat down on the couch.  He set their glasses down on the coffee table.

 

“Let me go grab my computer.”  She disappeared from the room for a second and when she came back, she sat down next to Justin.  “Noah was dragging one of your golf clubs around the yard, and he was trying to hit one of those plastic balls from the ball pit.  I think he’s watched you drive golf balls into the water one too many times.”  Emma started up her computer.

 

“Maybe we should get him his own clubs.”  Justin laughed and put his arm around her shoulder.  He took a sip of his wine.

 

“Maybe.”  Emma shrugged with a smile.  She navigated to the folder with the pictures she had taken the day before.  “I think you just want him to be exactly like you.”

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Justin asked.

 

“No, it’s not a bad thing.”  Emma turned to smile at him.  “He had a blast dragging it around.”

 

“He looks like he got bigger.”  Justin smiled as Emma scrolled through the pictures.

 

“Yeah, he’s growing.  He seems to be eating more than he was,” she responded.  Emma finished scrolling through the pictures, and by the time she had put the laptop down, Justin had convinced himself that he needed to buy Noah some kid-sized golf clubs.

 

She leaned back against the couch and cuddled up against him.  They were quiet for a few moments, enjoying each others’ company in silence.

 

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Emma stated quietly, “and I was wondering if you would be opposed to having another baby.”

 

“Now why would I be opposed to that?” Justin asked.

 

“You never know.”  She shrugged and turned to look up at him with a smile.  He was looking down at her too, smiling.

 

“I think that would be fantastic.”  Justin took her left hand in his and squeezed it. 

 

“Good.”  Emma smiled.

 

“You aren’t already pregnant, are you?” He looked like he was thinking about it because of how she had told him about Noah.

 

“No.”  She laughed knowing why he asked that.

 

“Just checking,” he replied.  “I love Noah so much and to have another baby with you …” Justin trailed off.  He lowered his head and kissed her lips softly.  “When do you want to start trying?”

 

“Whenever,” she shrugged.  “I was just throwing the idea out there.”  Emma grinned as his lips met hers again.

 

*  *  *

 

Emma found herself walking the red carpet with Justin the following night.  Justin had been invited to go and wasn’t planning on going, but because Emma was there, and they wouldn’t have done anything else they had decided to go. 

 

She stood next to him, listening while he fielded questions from one of the reporters there.  Emma enjoyed watching him and was in her own little world when the reporter mentioned something about her not having been around.

 

“Emma’s busy with her business and Noah back home,” Justin said smiling proudly at his wife.  He took her hand in his.

 

“Parents’ night out?” The reporter looked between the two of them.

 

“Yeah,” he laughed.  “It’s been a while since it was just the two of us, so we’re enjoying it, but of he’s on our minds.”

 

“How old is Noah now?” 

 

“He’s 21 months and growing quickly,” Justin answered with pride.  Emma gave his hand a little squeeze and smiled when he looked at her. 

 

“Can I ask why you are so secretive about him?”

 

“That’s just the decision we made,” he shrugged.  “And where we live makes it easy to keep him away from the media.”

 

“So, what’s the best thing about being a Dad?”

 

“Everything … even changing diapers.”  Justin wrinkled his nose.  “Everyday he learns something new and even his smallest accomplishments, make me feel the greatest pride.  Noah’s the best thing that’s happened to me, along with Emma.”  He dropped her hand and put his arm around her waist.

 

“You are working on a soundtrack for an upcoming movie, can you tell us about that?”  The reporter changed the subject.

 

“Sure,” Justin happily obliged the change in subject.  As much as he loved his son and wanted to share him with the world, he knew it wasn’t the time or the place for that.  He could feel Emma relax more against his side as the topic of conversation switched.  Justin talked with the reporter awhile longer, before the two made their way inside the theater.

 

 

Chapter Seventeen 

January 2015

 

“Uncle Trevor’s here! Uncle Trevor’s here!”  Emma chanted to Noah as she opened the front door.  Noah launched himself at Trevor when he stepped inside.

 

“NJ!” Trevor scooped him up in his arms and flipped the little boy upside-down causing him to giggle.

 

“T, see doggy.”  Noah said when Trevor returned him to an upright position. 

 

“Doggy?  Did you get a new one?”  Trevor questioned and looked over at his sister.

 

“It’s one of those annoying mechanical ones that bark and flip around,” Emma rolled her eyes.  “Justin bought it for him.”

 

“Awesome.”  He grinned at Noah.  “Let me take my coat off and you can show it to me.”  Trevor put Noah back on the hardwood floor and unzipped his coat. 

 

“Go arf! Arf!” Noah giggled excitedly. 

 

“That’s so cool.”  Trevor hung his coat up on one of the hooks by the door.  The three of them made their way downstairs to where this new toy was with all of his other toys.  “Where’s Justin?”

 

“We forgot diapers when we were at the store earlier, so he had to run back out.  He should be back soon,” Emma answered.  “The day we’re done with diapers will be amazing.”  She sighed at the thought.

 

“See doggy!” Noah ran over to them and handed the dog to Trevor.

 

“Show me how it works NJ.”  Noah took the toy back and flipped it over so he could turn it on.  It immediately began its high-pitched squeaky bark, and when he set it on the floor, the dog did its little flip.  Noah giggled and plopped down on the floor next to it.

 

The front door upstairs opened and closed, and Emma could hear Justin moving around before he jogged down the steps.

 

“Hey Trevor,” Justin said.  He gave his brother-in-law a hug and pat on the back. 

 

“How’s it going?  Are you working on anything new?”  Trevor asked him.

 

“You no watch!” Noah interrupted and tugged on Trevor’s pants.

 

“Oh, sorry …” Trevor said apologetically and looked down at the toy dog and Noah.

 

“Are your parents on their way?”  Justin turned to Emma who was busying herself in the kitchen.  Her parents were coming over for dinner.

 

“Yeah, they’re running a little behind.”  Emma smiled.  She leaned into Justin’s touch when he walked over to her and put an arm around her waist, his other hand rubbing her stomach.  He kissed her cheek.  “Trevor do you want something to drink?”

 

“I’ll get something in a bit,” Trevor answered.  He and Noah were laughing about something to do with the dog. 

 

“What can I help you with?” Justin asked.  Emma hummed and then pointed him in the direction of the stove to check on the potatoes.  Her parents arrived 20 minutes later, and they all sat down to dinner shortly after.

 

“Well …” Emma spoke up at the end of their meal.  She looked across the table at Justin and smiled.  He smiled back.  “Justin and I are expecting another baby.”

 

“Wonderful!”  Karen beamed and reached over to pat Emma’s hand.  “That’s great news.  Isn’t it Doug?”

 

“Of course,” Doug smiled at his wife.  “It never hurts to have more grandbabies.”  He reached over and rubbed his hand through the curls on Noah’s head.  The little boy was picking at the mashed potatoes on his plate.

 

“When can we expect this little bundle of joy?”  They were excited to have another grandchild to dote on.

 

“The first day of September,” Emma answered.

 

*  *  *

 

April 2015

 

“Mama! Look!”  Noah yelled.  He stopped pedaling the big-wheel bike and pointed out toward the water.  “Boat!”  He was excited.  Everything was new to him as a two-and-a-half-year-old.

 

“I see that Noah.”  Emma smiled.  It was a beautiful spring evening so she had taken him outside on the terrace after dinner, before bedtime.  He had immediately climbed onto his tricycle and was riding it back and forth. 

 

Justin was expected home anytime from a short trip to Los Angeles. 

 

“Daddy dere?”  He asked.  Noah could see Justin walking through the living room toward them, but Emma couldn’t see him.

 

“No, Daddy’s not on the boat.”  Emma smiled at her son.

 

“Daddy dere.”  Noah pointed at Justin who was now in one of the open doorways.  Noah climbed off of the bike and his bare feet slapped against the concrete as he ran over to Justin.

 

“NJ!” Justin bent over so he could wrap his arms around his son and pick him up.  The little boy giggled as Justin kissed his cheeks.

 

Emma stood up from the wood chair she was sitting on and walked over to the two.  She let Justin and Noah finish their “hellos” and then wrapped her arms around Justin.  Noah was in between them, still in Justin’s arms.

 

“Hi.”  Justin grinned at his wife and kissed her.

 

“Hi.”  Emma squeezed him a little more when he wrapped his free arm around her.  “Are you hungry?”  As she asked this, his stomach growled.

 

“Yes.”  He laughed as she pulled away from him.  They would have time to cuddle and reconnect after Noah went to bed in a few minutes.

 

“I’ll heat up leftovers for you.”  Emma said and walked into the house.  Justin followed her, still carrying Noah, who had buried his head in Justin’s neck.  “Noah it’s time for bed.”  Emma looked at the clock.

 

“No! No! No! No!”  Noah picked up his head and bounced up and down in Justin’s arms, then wrapped his arms around his Dad’s neck.  “No, Daddy, no.”  He was going to try and weasel his way out of going to bed through his Dad.

 

“We do what Mama says, Noah,” Justin said softly, but firmly.  “Say ‘goodnight.’”

 

“No.”  Noah said and put his head back on Justin’s shoulder.

 

“Night Noah.”  Emma rubbed his back and kissed his cheek.  “I love you.”

 

Both of them knew that he was tired, and as soon as his head hit the pillow he would fall asleep.  Noah was just excited that his Dad was home and he didn’t want to leave his side.  The two were attached at the hip.

 

Justin walked over to the stairs and headed up to the top floor of their house.  Emma could hear Justin talking sweetly to Noah, who cried and moped the whole time.  She sighed and opened the fridge to pull out the leftover macaroni and hotdogs. 

 

When his dinner was done reheating, Emma set it on the counter with a glass of milk.  Justin came downstairs just in time.

 

“Is he asleep?”  She asked.

 

“He’s out cold,” Justin answered.  He sat down on one of the chairs at the counter.  “Thanks for dinner.”

 

“Not a problem, J.”  Emma smiled.  She opened the dishwasher and then turned the sink on.  “So how was your flight?”

 

“Same as usual.”  He bit into one of the hotdogs on his plate.  Justin watched Emma rinse off the plates in the sink while he chewed.  “It’s just nice to be home.  I hate being away from you guys.”

 

“I know you do.”  She scrubbed at a pot that had cheese residue stuck on it.  “We miss you when you’re gone.”  Emma got the cheese off of the pot and stuck it in the dishwasher.  Emma turned the water off and dried her hands before closing the dishwasher.

 

“Em …” He sighed and mashed the noodles around on his plate.

 

“Hmm …” She looked at him.  Clearly he had something on his mind.

 

“You know I would give it up for you guys.”  Justin said sincerely.

 

“I know,” Emma sighed.  “I wouldn’t ask you to do that, but I would support you if that’s what you wanted.”  She walked around the counter to where he was sitting.  “You okay?”

 

“Just homesick, I guess.”  He kind of laughed.  “I don’t think I ever thought that would happen.”

 

“Well you’re older now, and married with a son and another baby on the way.  So it’s going to be different being away,” Emma said.  She stood next to him and put her arm over the back of his chair.  Emma kissed his forehead.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”  Justin returned her kiss and then started to eat his macaroni.  Even though she was standing and he was eating, Emma stayed cuddled up next to him.

 

“So is there anything special you want to do tonight?”  Emma asked when he finished eating.  She had her mouth by his ear and kissed it as she asked.

 

“I take it you do.”  Justin set his fork down and grinned.  He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her so she was standing between his knees and the counter.

 

“Mmhmm …” Emma hummed.  She put her hands on his forearms and leaned forward to kiss him properly.  “My hormones are crazy right now.”

 

“I think we can take care of them.”  Justin spread his legs apart and scooted forward on the chair so he could be closer to her.  Yup, he liked being at home.  Emma sighed when he started to kiss her neck.  His hands rested on her waist and he brushed his thumbs across her stomach, which was just starting to show, lightly.

 

“I’ll meet you upstairs.”  She sighed when he stopped kissing her.  Emma rested her forehead against his. 

 

“Sure.”  His lips met hers one more time and then he dropped his hands.  Justin watched her head upstairs before standing up himself to rinse off his plate and close the terrace doors.

 

*  *  *

 June 2015 

“Well don’t you two look cute,” Emma grinned when she saw Justin come into her office with Noah in his arms.  The two were wearing khaki shorts, dark blue Northwest Arkansas Naturals’ T-shirts and sunglasses.

 

“Thanks.”  Justin smiled as Emma stood up from her desk.  “We thought we’d stop in and visit Mama on the way to the game.”  Justin was taking Noah to a baseball game that afternoon.

 

“Well isn’t that sweet.”  She reached for Noah who was leaning toward her and holding onto sunglasses that were a little too big for him.

 

“Mama, have glasses …” He pointed to the pair on his face.

 

“I see that Noah.”  She turned to Justin, “Did you put sunscreen on him yet?”

 

“I couldn’t find it.”

 

“I think there’s a bottle in the backseat of my car.”  Emma set Noah on the small table in her office.

 

“Ok.  I’ll go look then.”  Justin stepped over to her desk and dug through her bag to find her keys.  When Justin came back a couple minutes later, he was carrying the bottle of sunscreen and a baseball cap.  “Hey NJ, look what a found.”

 

“WOO PIGS!” Noah giggled when Justin put the Razorback hat on his head.

 

“I hate that you taught him that.”  Justin groaned in reference to his “Calling the Hogs.”

 

“What?”  Emma grinned.  “He’s an Arkansas boy.  He has to know how to ‘Call the Hogs.’”

 

“Mama, woo pig.”  Noah giggled from his spot on the coffee table.

 

“That’s right Noah, you tell Daddy ‘Woo Pig Sooie.’”

 

“No you do.”

 

“How about together?”  She smiled, knowing how much Justin disliked the hog call.  “Ready?”  Noah nodded excitedly and put his hands down by his sides to get in position.

 

“WOO …” Emma raised her hands up as she wiggled her fingers, “PIG …,” she brought her arms down and bent her right one, making a fist at her shoulder, “SOOIE!” she unbent her arm and pumped her fist in the air.  Emma and Noah repeated that two more times and ended with one last fist pump while yelling “Razorbacks!”

 

Noah busted into a fit of giggles, which made Emma giggle too.  Justin just grinned and shook his head at his wife and son’s actions.  He loved them, he really did.

 

“All right you little oinker – lets hit the road.”  Justin picked the giggling Noah up off of the conference table.  “Say ‘bye Mama.’”

 

“Bye Mama.”  Noah leaned over in Justin’s arms and kissed her cheek.

 

“Bye Noah.  Love you.”  Emma returned his kiss before standing on her toes a little to give Justin a kiss too.  “Love you too, J.  You guys have fun and be safe.”

 

“We will.  Love you, Emmy.”  Justin smiled as he turned to walk out of her office, leaving Emma to finish up her day. 

 

*  *  *

 

August 2015

 

“Mama I potty.”  Noah announced.

 

“Do you have to potty now or did you already potty?”  Emma asked.  She set down the paintbrush in her hand and looked at Noah.  They had ventured into potty training a month before, in hopes that he would be out of diapers before the new baby came.  It had been a slow process, but Noah was catching on.

 

“Now.”

 

“Okay!”  Emma said excitedly.  “Let’s go to the potty.”  She ushered him out of the bedroom and into his bathroom careful to not let his hands, which were covered in paint, touch the walls outside of the bedroom.

 

After Emma wiped his hands off quickly with a wipe, Noah pulled his shorts and pull-ups down, and did his business.  She handed him toilet paper so he could clean himself up, and after he pulled up his pants, Noah climbed up on the step stool so he could wash his hands.

 

“That’s so good Noah,” Emma praised as she cleaned up after him properly.  “Thank you so much for telling me you had to potty.  You’re such a big boy.”  Noah giggled and turned around to step down.

 

“Sticker Mama,” Noah requested.

 

“Oh yeah,” she said.  She washed her hands quickly and then bent over, the best she could, next to him where he was studying the sticker sheets they had hung on the wall next to his potty.  “Which one do you want?”

 

“Basketball.” Noah pointed to one of the basketball stickers.

 

“Good choice.”  Emma pulled the sticker off of the sheet and handed it to him.  Noah stuck it on his shirt.

 

“You guys up here?”  Justin asked loudly.

 

“Daddy I potty!”  Noah yelled and ran out of the bathroom.

 

“In the potty?”

 

“Yes,” the little boy answered enthusiastically.

 

“All right NJ!  High five.”  Their hands smacked together loudly.  Emma loved watching the two of them together.  “Were you painting?”  He noticed some dried paint on his arms and clothes.

 

“Come see.”  Noah grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the baby’s bedroom.  Justin gave Emma a quick kiss as he passed her.  She followed the two back into the room.

 

“Awesome.”  Justin smiled at the handprints covering the bottom third of the wall with the closet on it.  Emma had covered the closet door with paper in case there were any stray hands.  The two had let Noah “paint” one of the walls in the nursery, and emphasized strongly with him that this would be the only wall in the house he could paint on.  “You’re doing a great job NJ.”

 

“You help?”  He picked up one of the paper plates Emma had poured paint on for him to use and some of it dumped down the front of his shirt.  Justin cringed and reached for the plate before more of it could drip.  “Uh-oh.”  Noah looked at his shirt.

 

“Uh-oh’s right.  From now on let’s keep the plates on the floor,” Justin said.  “Let’s take your shirt off.”  Justin helped Noah pull the shirt off without getting paint all over him.  “There ya go.”  He tossed it in the trashcan.

 

“Help now?”

 

“Should we get some up high?”  Justin asked.

 

“Yeah.”  Noah nodded excitedly and stuck his hands in the blue paint at his feet.  Justin picked him up and held him so he could stick his hands on the wall.  He left about six hand prints before he needed to get more paint.  They repeated this action several times before Justin got tired of lifting him.

 

“The room is coming along great Emma,” Justin said as he took in the rest of the room.  When they found out that they were having another boy, Justin wanted the room to be a sports theme.  So besides Noah’s hand-painted wall, Emma had painted different sports equipment in muted shades of blue, red, orange, brown and white to match the bedding and room accessories they had picked out.

 

“Thanks.”  Emma smiled and leaned into him when he stood next to her.  Justin put his arm around her waist.  “I just have a couple more touch-ups and then we can move the furniture in.” 

 

“Just in time.”

 

“I done.” Noah announced holding his hands out in front of himself.

 

“Okay,” Emma said.  “Throw the plates away and Daddy’ll help you wash up.”  Noah picked up his plates and threw them in the trash before Justin took him into the bathroom to wash the paint off of his hands and arms.  Emma decided she was done painting for the day as well so she put the covers back on the paint cans and then went to wash up.

 

Justin had started a bath for Noah because it was nearing dinnertime and shortly after that bedtime.  Noah was already standing there with his shorts and pull-ups off watching the water fill the tub chattering away to Justin about his day when Emma walked into the small room.

 

“Mama,” Noah turned to Emma when he saw her.

 

“Yes?” Emma asked and turned the sink on.

 

“Done too?”

 

“I’m done for now,” she answered and pumped some soap into her palms.

 

“All right NJ.”  Justin turned the faucet off when the water was at a suitable level.  “Bath time.”  He picked the little boy up and set him in the tub.  Noah reached for the plastic cup they used and handed it to Justin. 

 

“Did you still want to grill out tonight?”  Emma asked Justin after she had finished washing the paint off of her hands.  She turned the sink off.

 

“Sure,” he answered working the shampoo into Noah’s hair.

 

“I’ll go get the hamburger ready then,” Emma said.  

 

“Sounds like a plan.  Right Noah?”

 

“Right.”  Noah didn’t look up from the plastic boat he was pushing around in the water when he replied.

 

“We’ll be down in a few.”  Justin smiled at her.  Emma nodded and turned to walk out of the bathroom.  She headed downstairs.  Justin and Noah came downstairs a while later, and Emma handed a plate with the hamburger patties to Justin to take outside and start cooking.

 

They ate their dinner and played with Noah for a while before putting him down for the night, and even though it was still pretty early, Emma went to bed herself.

 

“You still awake Emmy?”  Justin plopped down on the bed next to her, just as she was about to fall asleep.

 

“I am now,” she mumbled, trying to hide the smile from forming on her face.  Justin scooted down and adjusted the pillow so he could lie down next to her.  “What’s up?”  Emma opened her eyes.

 

“I was just wondering if you had thought more about Will’s middle name.”  Justin had picked William for the first name after his Grandfather of course.  He put his left hand on her stomach and rubbed lightly.

 

“I’m still debating between Jude and Elijah,” Emma answered and sighed.  “You think you could rub my back?”

 

“Of course I can do that.” He grinned and stood up so he could pull the covers on his side of the bed down and crawl under them next to Emma.  She rolled over onto her other side, and he scooted closer to her so he could rub her lower back.  “I think Jude sounds better – William Jude.”

 

“Yeah …” Emma sighed the pressure of his fingers in her skin felt good.  She had stood for too long that day.  “That feels good Justin …” She hummed out the word “good.”  The bed shifted as Justin moved closer to her and brushed his lips against her neck.  “What are you doing?”

 

“Just rubbing your back.”  She could feel his smile against her neck as his fingers started kneading her back again.  Justin knew she was rolling her eyes at his answer, but kept kissing her neck.  Emma turned her head, and he pressed his lips against hers.

 

*  *  *

 

September 2015

 

“Mama!” Noah came barreling into the hospital room.  It had been almost two days since he’d seen Emma.  He ran over to where Emma was sitting in one of the chairs holding Will in her arms.  “Baby, Mama?”  He asked when he saw the baby in her arms.

 

“Yeah it’s a baby.  He’s your brother Noah, his name is Will,” Emma explained.  She reached out to rub his back when he leaned against her knees to look at his little brother.  Justin walked over to the three of them and kissed Emma before sitting down in the other chair.

 

“Hi Will! Hi Will!”  Noah said excitedly and then frowned when the baby didn’t respond. “Mama, no say …” He looked up at Emma.

 

“When Will gets older, he’ll talk like a big boy,” Emma replied.

 

“Like me?”

 

“Just like you.”

 

“He play?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Oh …” Noah sighed disappointedly and looked at Justin.  “We go now Daddy.”

 

“We’re gonna stay and visit with Mama for a while.”

 

“Noah do you want to cuddle?” Emma asked.  Noah nodded.  “Okay.”  Emma handed Will over to Justin and then pulled Noah up onto her lap.  Noah snuggled up against her, and Emma wrapped her arms around him.  She looked over at Justin who was observing Will as he slept.  He looked over at her.

 

“Go home Mama?”  Noah asked lifting his head off of her shoulder to look at her.

 

“Will and I get to come home tomorrow.”  Emma explained.

 

“Good,” Noah sighed.  “I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too, Noah.”  Emma kissed his forehead.  All of them had adjusting to do with the new baby in the mix.  “What have you been up to with Grandma and Grandpa?”

 

“We go to movie,” he answered.  “It silly.”

 

“It was silly?” he nodded.  “Tell me about it.”  Emma grinned when the little boy started telling her all about the movie to the best of his ability.  He chatted away about different things until Will started to fuss and needed to be fed.  Noah asked all sorts of questions about what she was doing and why, and Justin looked thoroughly amused by them.  Emma did her best to answer, and eventually Noah lost interest and turned his attention to Justin.

 

“Knock knock,” Trevor said as he walked into the hospital room.  Emma had just finished nursing Will.

 

“T!” Noah giggled excitedly and ran over to hug his uncle.

 

“Hey, hey, hey …” Trevor picked up Noah and gave him a hug.  “Hi Emmy-Leigh, Justin …” He walked over to where the two were sitting and looked down at his new nephew.  “Who’s this Noah?” Trevor asked.

 

“Will,” Noah answered.

 

“Is he your brother?”

 

“Don’t know.”  He shrugged.  The three adults laughed.  Having a little brother was a new concept to him, but Justin and Emma had done the best they could to prepare him for Will.  Trevor perched himself on the edge of the bed, still holding Noah.

 

“What’s the final say on the whole name?”  Trevor asked.

 

“William Jude,” Justin answered looking over at Emma and their new baby.  “So we’ve got NJ and WJ …”

 

“WJ does not flow like NJ,” Emma stated.  She laid Will on her legs and rewrapped the blanket around him.  Will started to cry when the cold air hit him.  “Shh … shh … shh, you’re okay Will, Mama will be done in a second.  See all done.”  Emma lifted him back up to her chest. 

 

“He’s a lot more vocal than Noah was,” Justin observed. 

 

“Yup,” Emma nodded in agreement.  “Trevor you want to hold Will?”

 

“Yeah,” Trevor answered.  After Trevor moved Noah to his side, Noah crawled over to the pillows on the bed and leaned against them.  Emma handed Will to Trevor and then made a move to stand up.  “You don’t have to get up.”

 

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” Emma said.  Justin got up so he could help her up.  “Thanks.”  Justin kissed her and then watched her shuffle off to the bathroom.  When she came out, Justin had moved Noah from the bed and was chatting with him and Trevor.  Emma crawled onto the bed and settled in.

 

*  *  *

 

June 2016

 

“Justin …” Emma sounded worried.  She was standing in their bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body.  “Can you come in here?”  When she was in the shower, Emma had felt a bump on the side of her left breast.

 

“What’s up?”  He walked into the bathroom.

 

“I want you to feel this,” she said.  Justin gave her a questioning look and walked over to her.  He stood in front of her, and she let the towel fall a little revealing herself.  Justin grinned.

 

“Not that.”  She knew what he was thinking.  “I felt a bump.”

 

“What?”  Justin’s expression immediately changed.

 

“Right here.”  Emma grabbed his hand and directed two of his fingers to where she had felt it.  She pressed them into her soft skin, and his face fell when he felt the same thing she had.

 

“No … Emma.”  He looked like he was on the verge of tears.  He didn’t move his hand when she dropped her own.

 

“We don’t know.”  She knew exactly what he was thinking and it only made the feeling in her stomach drop further at the thought.  That one word: cancer.  She couldn’t have it – she was still young, healthy, had two kids to raise.  It wasn’t supposed to happen to her.

 

Justin dropped his hand and pulled her into his arms.  Emma wrapped her arms around him, forgetting about the towel.  They held each other, both thinking similar thoughts.

 

“Mama … Daddy …” Noah’s voice pulled them out of those thoughts as he came into the bathroom.

 

“Mornin’ NJ.”  Justin put a smile on his face for his son.  He stayed where he was while Emma readjusted the towel, and then he picked up Noah.

 

“Will’s crying.”

 

“Uh-oh ...  Let’s let Mama get dressed and go check on Will.”  Justin smiled at Emma.  It was going to be okay.  It had to be okay.  He would lose his mind if it wasn’t going to be okay.

 

Emma could hear Noah’s giggles as Justin carried him out of their bedroom.  She was left to her own thoughts, and it sucked.

 

 

 

Chapter Eighteen 

July 2016

 

Emma was sitting as close to Justin as possible on the couch in her doctor’s office.  They were waiting for the results of the biopsy she had had a few days before.  He had his left arm around her shoulder and was holding her right hand in his, rubbing his thumb across her palm.

 

“Afternoon,” Emma’s doctor, Dr. Wakefield, walked into her office, carrying the file that held the results.  She sat down in a chair across from the two and opened the file.  “How are you two doing?”

 

“As good as can be expected,” Emma answered covering Justin’s hand with her left one.  She gave it a squeeze.  Emma didn’t want her to skirt around the issue, but just wanted to know what the results were.

 

“The cells we pulled out during the biopsy were cancerous.”  Those were not the words they wanted to hear.  “However,” Dr. Wakefield continued, “it’s in a very early stage.  The best course of action and most affective thing to do at this point is to do a lumpectomy in which I’ll remove the cancerous cells and some of the surrounding tissue.”

 

Dr. Wakefield explained more about the procedure and what they could expect about follow-up treatment, which included six weeks of radiation therapy.  Emma tried her best to ask as many questions as she could, and Justin threw in some of his own.

 

The plan was to do whatever it would take to get her better.  The car ride home was quiet, both of them lost in their thoughts.

 

“Come here.”  When they got home, Justin pulled her to him and held her.  They stood outside their front door, arms wrapped around each other, just wanting a moment to themselves before heading in to numerous questions from her parents and the two little boys who would want their attention.

 

“It could be worse,” Emma said quietly.

 

“Could it?”  She could hear the pout in his voice.

 

“You heard what she said.”  She tilted her head to look up at him.  “It’s going to work out.”

 

“I love you.”  Justin held her tighter and brushed his lips against her forehead.  All the bad things that could happen to her were running through his mind.

 

“I love you too,” Emma sighed.  She knew she would be okay; they were going to get it taken care of and everything would be back to normal.  “You have to be positive about this, okay?  I can’t do this alone.”

 

“I’ll be right next to you,” he promised.  Justin sealed that deal with a kiss.  They were wrapped up in each other for a few minutes before Emma sighed and pulled away.

 

“I need to go in and hug my boys,” Emma stated.  She really did need to see them.

 

“What I’m not good enough for you?”  Justin grinned.  He was going to do his best to put on his happy face for her as much as he didn’t want to.

 

“No … you know I need more than just your hugs now.”  Emma teased back and grabbed his hand as she reached for the front door.  She pushed it open and the two headed down the stairs to where her parents and their sons were.

 

“So, how’d it go?”  Emma’s Mom was the first to speak up.  Emma looked up from the picture Noah had drawn for her and at her Mom.

 

“Its cancer,” Emma stated not bothering to hesitate.

 

“Oh, Emma Leigh,” Karen stood from the couch, holding Will.  She wrapped her free arm around Emma.  Emma wrapped her arms around her Mom and son.  “How bad is it?”

 

“We caught it in the early stage,” Emma sighed.  She felt her father rub her shoulder comfortingly.  “So I have to have a lumpectomy next Friday and then six weeks of radiation therapy.”

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Karen said sympathetically.  “We’ll be here for you, whatever you guys need.”

 

“Thanks.” 

 

“Mama, Mama …” Noah sounded concerned.  “What’s wrong with Mama?”  He turned to Justin as he asked this.

 

“NJ,” Justin said as he picked up the three-and-a-half year old.  “Mama has to have surgery next week, but it’ll help to make her feel all better.”

 

“She is sick?” Noah asked, wrinkling his brow.

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered.  Noah looked upset.  “You know what will make her feel better?”

 

“What?” He perked up.

 

“If you give her a big hug,” Justin replied smiling at Emma.  Noah smiled too and leaned toward Emma so he could give her a hug.  Emma happily took him into her arms as he wrapped his arms around her neck.

 

“Thank you so much NJ.”  Emma squeezed him back.  “That helps a lot.”  She kissed his head, relishing having him in her arms.  “You are almost too heavy for Mama to hold Noah.”  

 

“No.”  He giggled and shook his head. 

 

Emma laughed – all she really needed were her two boys and Justin.  Everything was going to be all right, and she was going to see to that because she had to be around for the three of them.

 

*  *  *

 

Justin had just brought Emma home from the hospital after her surgery, and he was helping her settle into bed.  The surgery had gone well, and the doctor hadn’t found anymore cancer cells when she had removed the tumor.  Both of them were happy with that news.

 

“The boys?”  Emma asked sleepily as he helped her to sit on their bed.

 

“They’re downstairs with your Mom,” Justin answered. 

 

“Okay,” she nodded.  Emma was still feeling the effects of the anesthesia from her surgery and would be for the rest of the day.  Justin pulled back the covers and helped her lie down.

 

“I’m going to get you some water and crackers so you can take your pain medication,” he said.  “Can you stay awake that long?” 

 

“Just wake me up,” she smiled and settled on her side that had not been operated on.

 

“I will.”  Justin sighed.  “I love you Emmy.”  He pushed her hair out of her face and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

 

“I love you too.”

 

“I’ll be right back.”  He stood up straight.

 

“I’ll be right here,” Emma replied as she closed her eyes.  She was asleep before Justin even left the room. 

 

“Daddy where’s Mama?”  Noah asked when he saw Justin descending on the stairs.  The little boy hadn’t seen her since the previous night because they had left before he and Will were up for the day.

 

“She’s upstairs sleeping NJ,” Justin answered as he made his way toward the kitchen.

 

“I can go see her.”  Noah ran over to the steps and started to make his way up.  

 

“Not right now.”  Justin went back over to the stairs and grabbed Noah by the waist pulling him off of the stairs.

 

“Daddy!”  He yelled and tried to wiggle his way out from his Dad’s grasp.

 

“NJ come and color with Grandma,” Karen took Noah from Justin’s arms.  NJ reluctantly wrapped his arms around her neck.  “Do you want to color a picture for Mama?”

 

“No.”  The little boy pouted and buried his head in her neck.  “I want to see Mama.”

 

“I know.”  She rubbed his back.

 

Justin gave his mother-in-law an apologetic smile, and then turned to get a glass of water and crackers so Emma could take her medication.  He headed back up to their room and sat down on the bed next to her setting the glass down as well.

 

“Emmy …” Justin rubbed his hand up and down her arm.  She shifted and rolled over a little.  Her eyes opened.  “Hey,” he smiled, “I got your water and crackers.  Do you want help sitting up?”  Emma shook her head “no” and sat up slowly. 

 

He tore open the package of crackers and handed her a couple. 

 

“What are the boys doing?”  She nibbled on one of the crackers.

 

“Your Mom’s playing with them.  Noah wants to come up.”  Justin reached for the bottle of pills sitting on her nightstand and opened it up.  He handed her one of the tablets and then the water.

 

“They can come up,” she said after taking the pill.

 

“You need to rest Em.”

 

“I know … I just want to see them though.”  Emma sighed. 

 

“Just rest for a while and then I’ll bring them up,” he compromised.  Emma nodded.  He rubbed her knee.  “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m okay,” she answered.  “I am glad the whole thing went well … so we just have six weeks of radiation and then I’ll be done with it.”

 

“Hopefully forever,” Justin smiled softly.

 

Emma nodded in agreement.  She ate a couple more crackers and lay down again.

 

“Can you lay with me for a while?”

 

“Sure.”  He made his way to the other side of the bed and moved carefully as he got closer to her.

 

“Just you know … watch the hand.”  Emma teased as Justin settled behind her.  He put his arm around her and nuzzled his nose in her neck.  “Thanks.”

 

“Always …” Justin sighed into her hair. 

 

“I like it when you hold me.”

 

“I like it too.”  She could feel his smile.

 

“You know what I miss?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Concerts.”

 

Justin chuckled.  “It hasn’t been that long.”

 

“Yeah it has.”  Emma sighed and closed her eyes.  She fell asleep.

 

*  *  *

 

“What game did you pick out?” Justin asked Noah as the little boy walked back into his and Emma’s bedroom.  He was carrying a board game.

 

The family had taken up playing board games on days when Emma had her radiation therapy, because it was something they could do even as Emma was resting.

 

“This.”  Noah held up Chutes and Ladders.

 

“Good choice,” Emma said.  She shifted so she was sitting up against the headboard. 

 

Justin took the board game from Noah’s hands, and the little boy pulled himself up onto their bed.  He crawled over to Emma and settled against her side.

 

“Mama, you gonna play too?” Noah asked.

 

“Of course.”  She yawned and rubbed his back.  Will’s cries could be heard over the baby monitor.  “Help Daddy set it up, I’m going to go get Will.”  Emma pushed herself off of the bed and walked out of the room.

 

Justin pulled the lid off of the box, and he and Noah set the game up.  Emma came back in, carrying Will and sat down on the bed.

 

“Will no play,” Noah said.

 

“NJ …” Justin sighed sitting on the bed, folding his legs underneath him.  His eyes met Emma’s, and she smirked.  Noah had not been getting enough attention, with her having treatments, and Will not even being a year old.

 

“You can go first Noah,” Emma said picking up her cardboard game piece and sticking it in its little stand.  Noah picked up the spinner and flicked his finger to get the arrow to spin.  “What’s it say?”

 

“Four!” Noah said he grabbed his game piece.  “1 … 2 … 3 … 4.”  He set the piece down and handed the spinner to Justin.  “Go Daddy.”

 

Justin took his turn and ended up landed on a “slide” that took him down two rows.  When he handed the spinner to Emma, Will reached for it and tried to put it in his mouth. 

 

“No, no Will.”  Emma pulled it from him.  “You can have this.”  She handed him a stuffed animal that was sitting on her nightstand, and then spun the arrow.

 

They played a few rounds of Chutes and Ladders, before Justin headed downstairs to make dinner.  Noah and Emma put the game away, and then she rested back against the headboard, with Will sitting on her knees.  She was clapping his hands together, and he was getting a kick out of it.

 

“Mama?”  Noah crawled over to her and stuck his head under her arm so he could rest against her.

 

“Yes baby?” Emma asked letting go of Will’s hand so she could put her hand on his tummy.  NJ’s head was on her lap, looking up at her.

 

“Are you better yet?” 

 

“I’m almost better,” she answered.  Will leaned forward, and she helped him stand up, leaning against her.

 

“I happy.”  Noah smiled and rolled over.  He pushed himself up onto his knees and wrapped his arm around her neck, watching out for Will.

 

“I’m happy too,” Emma kissed his cheek and wrapped her arm around him.  “Because I have you and Daddy and Will.”  The latter squealed when she said his name, and she kissed his head.  “All my boys.”  Emma tickled Noah’s side and he giggled.

 

“I go by Daddy,” Noah stated and wiggled his way out of Emma’s embrace. 

 

“Okay.”  Emma nodded.  “Put your game away first.”  Noah slid off of the bed, and Emma handed him the board game.  “Thank you NJ.  Can you come and get me and Will when dinner is ready?”

 

“Yeah,” he smiled gripping the box in his hands.  Noah turned and walked out of the room. 

 

Emma shimmied down so she was laying flat on the bed with Will sitting on her stomach.  The little boy was chewing on the ear of the stuffed dog he had in his hand.

 

“Is that yummy?” She asked making a face.  Will dropped the puppy and made a babbling noise, before leaning over and crawling up her body.  He put his hand in her mouth.  Emma pulled his fingers out of her mouth and kissed the palm of his hand. 

 

“Silly-Willy …” Emma continued to make noises that always got a reaction out of him.  Will giggled and “talked” back to her for a while before snuggling against her again.  She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes, resting her chin against the top of his head.  “My little one …” she sighed.

 

“Mama! Mama its dinnertime!”  NJ said loudly.  He startled Emma out of her sleep.

 

“Thanks NJ,” Emma sighed.  She wiped the sleep out of her eyes and checked on Will, who was still lying on her stomach with his eyes wide open.  Emma sat up, holding onto Will so he wouldn’t fall backwards.  “What’d Daddy make for dinner?”

 

She was still for a moment to catch her bearings and then she stood up.

 

“Spaghetti,” he answered and reached for her free hand.

 

“Yummy.”  Emma adjusted Will so he was on her side and let Noah lead her downstairs.

*  *  *

 

August 2016

 

“What’re you doing out here?”  Emma asked Justin.  She stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the lake.  It was dark out, and Justin was leaning against the railing staring off into the distance.

 

“Just thinking,” Justin answered.  She moved to stand next to him, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his side.  Emma leaned against him.

 

“What about?”  She looked up at him.

 

“Tomorrow.”

 

Emma had finished her radiation treatments the previous week, but she had to go back for her final test results to make sure the cancer was gone.

 

“You know it’s going to be all right.”  Emma put her hand on his back and rubbed it.

 

“What if it’s not though?”  Justin sounded scared.  He looked down at her.  “I’m trying my hardest to be positive and hopeful, but I still can’t help but think about all the ‘what ifs’.” 

 

Emma placed her other arm around him and squeezed between him and the railing, so that she could give him a real hug.  Both of his arms wrapped around her. 

 

“Remember what I read you the other day?”  She asked him. 

 

“Yeah …” he sighed.

 

“Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’  For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

 

“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  She had it memorized.

 

“Emmy,” Justin grinned.  “It always amazes me that you remember each word exactly how it was.”  She could feel him laugh quietly while she rested her head on his chest.  Emma gave him another squeeze.

 

“It’s what I do,” Emma stated. 

 

“I know.”  He kissed the top of her head, “and I’m glad that you do.”

 

They were quiet for a moment before Emma spoke up, “Just remember we’ve got the best kids in the world, we’ve got each other, and most importantly we’ve got God.  That’s all we need.”

 

She lifted her head so she could look at him.  Justin nodded before crushing his lips against hers.  They had to keep their faith strong.

 

 

Chapter Nineteen

Epilogue

March 2017 

“Tonight is a special night,” Justin stated.  “Last July, my wife Emma was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She fought it and as of September is cancer free – so tonight is for her, and the proceeds will go to The Sarver-Timberlake Cancer Fund, which Emma and I started to raise money for families affected by cancer.  She’s going to talk more about it later on this evening, but right now I’m going to stop talking and get the show started.

 

“The opening bands that are here tonight are some of Emma’s favorites.  This first one is the band that was playing the night we met, 10 years ago, this is The Almost.”  He introduced the band and then walked off stage.

 

Emma stood up from the seat she was sitting in the back of the venue they had rented out for the night.  It was the same place they had met each other 10 years before, and it was only fitting for the small charity event to be held there.  She was even at the same table, but surrounded by their family, even Will and Noah.

 

The music started, and Emma got into it quickly.  She barely noticed Justin come stand next to her with NJ sitting on his shoulders.  Emma leaned against him.

 

“I keep picturing you grabbing my hand and taking me out into the crowd,” Justin spoke, a few songs into the set.  He leaned over so he could speak into Emma’s ear. 

 

“Oh yeah?”  Emma smiled at the memory.  She would never regret that bold move on her part all those years ago.

 

~~

 

Emma started bouncing her feet to the beat and once the crowd really started moving, she couldn’t sit there.  Emma stood up, and Justin turned to look at her.

 

“I have to go down!” Emma yelled.  He looked confused.  She leaned over and yelled in his ear, “Floor!  Come with?”

 

He shrugged and stood up with his drink in his hand.  Emma took his drink out of his hand and set it down knowing that if he carried it down there it would end up all over his jeans and shirt.  She grabbed his hand.

 

Justin was shocked by the gesture, but followed her down the stairs and into the crowd.  He definitely wasn’t worried about getting into trouble in the crowd even with the few confused looks being thrown in his direction.  Once Emma settled on a spot, he wasn’t sure what to expect from her next especially with the rest of the crowd pushing and jumping up and down along with the beat. 

 

Emma didn’t hesitate to join in.

 

~~

 

They both enjoyed listening to the same band that was playing the night they met, sharing a simple moment with their family after everything they had been through in the past year. 

 

After The Almost’s set, Justin headed backstage so he could be ready to introduce the next band that was going to play.  Emma sat back down and picked up Will when he toddled over to her from Lynn.

 

“Are you excited for Uncle Trevor?”  She asked him.

 

“I am!”  NJ shouted over the noise of the crowd.  He was excited to see his Uncle on stage, and even more so his Dad, who was going to perform after.

 

“I know you are.”  Emma smiled at the four-and-a-half-year-old boy as he reached for his cup of soda that was sitting on the table.  Her eyes drifted to the stage when the noise of the crowd grew because Justin had walked out.  “Hey guys, there’s Daddy.”

 

“Da!” Will clapped excitedly.

 

“Hello again,” he spoke into the microphone all the while directing his attention to where he knew Emma and the boys were.  “I hope you guys enjoyed The Almost.”  He paused for the crowd’s response.  “I’m excited to introduce this next band because they are Emma’s absolute favorite.  Her brother is in this band and for them to get back together for this night, I know it means the world to her.

 

“Here is The Wedding!”

 

Emma’s heart swelled as they began their set.  She never thought she’d see them together again, but it was the best feeling.  Emma stood with Will in her arms and NJ at her feet.

 

“Mama, it’s Trevor!”  Noah yelled so she could here them.  Emma looked down at him and smiled as he started hopping around to the songs he knew so well.  Emma bounced Will in her arms and the three of them had their own dancing going on for the first couple of songs.  Justin joined in after he had made his way back to where they were.

 

Their set lasted for an hour, and Emma was sad to see it ending, but she knew they still had to do one more song – her favorite song.

 

“This last song is for my big sister, one of my best friends, Emmy-Leigh,” Trevor leaned in closer to the microphone.  “I know how much you’ve always loved this song, and I know how much you have not wasted your life. 

 

“And I can’t tell you how blessed we are to still have you in our lives.  God is good.”

 

One shot is all you’ve got
To make your mark, to make your difference
One chance, but you don’t understand this

La La La La La
La La La La La
Life is but a breath
Don’t waste it

Justin rested his hand on Emma’s back where she had “life is but a breath” tattooed above the cross. It was her favorite tattoo that she had, and quite possibly his favorite of hers as well.  She leaned into his hand, knowing just what he was thinking about.

 

He had been fascinated with it since the first night he had seen it.

 

~~

 

“Wait a sec, is that a tattoo?”  Justin asked.  He sounded shocked.  He had never seen it before because she was always fully clothed, but right now she was wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top.

 

“Yes,” she answered and turned to look back at him.  “Why are you so surprised?  You’ve seen the people I hang out with.”

 

Justin laughed.  “I know.  You’re just always so covered up.  Let me see.”  Emma obliged his request by turning back around.  The tattoo was between her shoulder blades. The Celtic cross with the words “Life is but a breath …” above it was about four inches in height and three in width.

 

“Isn’t that one of your brother’s songs?”  He asked.  Justin wanted to run his fingers over it, her skin looked so smooth, but he refrained because he wasn’t sure what her reaction would be.

 

“You’ve been listening.”  Emma stated and figured he’d looked long enough so she turned back around.

 

“Uh-huh.  You got any other tattoos?”  Justin asked.

 

~~

Cause your time is limited
All you have is the breath already exiting your lungs
If you won’t live, you might as well die
You can’t afford to lead that life

La La La La La
La La La La La
Life is but a breath
Don’t waste it

Hands down, no regrets
Life has its hands around my neck
Fight back, no regrets
Life has its hands around our necks 

La La La La La
La La La La La
Life is but a breath
Don’t waste it 

La La La La La
La La La La La
Life is but a breath
Don’t waste it 

Emma had never appreciated that song more.  After the year they had had, she did not plan on wasting any second of her life, no matter how long or short it would be.

 

When those guys finished up, Emma and Justin both made their way backstage because she was going to introduce him before he performed.  Emma wrapped her arms around Trevor when she saw him and thanked him, as well as the other guys.

 

The group talked while the stage hands got the stage ready for Justin to go on.  Emma and Justin embraced before he sent her in the direction of the microphone with a smile on his face.  Emma shook her head, smiling the whole time.

 

“Good evening,” Emma said into the microphone.  “For those of you who don’t know, I’m Emma Timberlake.”  She paused, taking in a deep breath and continuing. 

 

“Before I start talking about what Justin and I are doing with the fund, I want to thank The Almost and The Wedding.  I have known the guys in those bands for a very long time – especially The Wedding, you guys really don’t know how much I have always loved and appreciated each and every one of you– and for both bands to regroup and perform once again really does mean a lot to me.  It has brought back so many fantastic memories that I do cherish.

 

“I also want to thank Justin, because he really is the reason you all are here tonight, so I’m trying to keep this short.  When I first started my cancer treatments, I had mentioned that I missed going to concerts – I used to go all of the time – so he kept that in the back of his mind, and here we all are today.  So thank you.

 

“As he mentioned earlier, we started The Sarver-Timberlake Cancer Fund to raise money for low-income families affected by cancer.  Both of us have been blessed to have strong careers that have allowed us to take care of my medical bills and still provide for our boys, but there a lot of families who are not as fortunate.  We want to help those ones – especially the ones with children, so that parents can be around to see their sons and daughters grow up, so that they can provide for them in any imaginable way.

 

“This is something I feel called to do, and I know from your presence here tonight that this is something you believe in as well.  I am thankful that each and every one of you came out tonight to see The Almost, to see The Wedding and to see Justin, but most importantly to support a great cause.  So thank you and God bless you.

 

“And without further blathering on my part, here’s the man I’m sure you are all here for, my amazing husband, Justin Timberlake.”

 

Justin walked out onto the stage and stopped Emma as she headed off.  He gave her a hug and kissed her cheek.  “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Emma said and continued off stage.

 

“Isn’t she sweet?”  Justin sighed into the microphone as his band started to play.  He was pretty sure Emma was rolling her eyes as he said that.  She stopped just off to the side, so she could watch him sing a couple of songs from that vantage point before moving back to where their sons were sitting.

 

It was the first time either boy had seen their father up on stage, and while Will was still too little to grasp the concept, NJ was eating it up.  Emma was having more fun watching Noah’s reaction to Justin on stage than watching Justin.  Noah really looked up to him.

 

“Mama, look at Daddy.”  He smiled proudly. 

 

“I see him.”  She nodded and turned her attention back to Justin. 

 

His set went quickly, and Emma enjoyed watching him do what he loved to do, plus over the years of knowing him she had grown to enjoy his music and appreciate it for what it was.

 

“I normally don’t like to get sappy at my shows,” Justin chuckled. “But as we all know, tonight is a special night, and I just have a few things to say before I sing ‘Better Part of Me.’”

 

Emma leaned her head against Will’s; the little boy was curled up against her body, resting his head on her shoulder, dozing despite the noise level in the small venue.  She sighed into his hair and sat back farther in the chair as Justin spoke.

 

“Last year when Emma was getting treated for cancer, she never complained or thought negative thoughts.  I saw how hard it was for her.

 

“I am so glad that you never gave up Em.  You are the strongest person I know, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without you.  This song has taken on a whole new meaning now.”

 

His words meant a lot to Emma.

 

You say that our love is from above

Don’t give up don’t give in now, now
I know your love will always be enough
Oh won’t give up, I won’t give in now, now 

 

Babe you are the better part of me

I believe, I believe you are

 

~~

 

“Can I have what you wrote?”

 

Justin pulled the folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her before he sat down in the chair she had just vacated.  Emma unfolded the piece of paper and was just about to start reading it when Justin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her down so she was sitting on his knee.

 

“Geez, Justin.”  Emma laughed.

 

“There’s no reason for you to stand.”  Justin kissed her head and looked back at the computer screen.  He really just liked being close to her.  Emma read what was written; most of it was pretty standard, but it made Emma feel good to read what he wrote at the end.

“For the better part of me, my Emmy – you have taught me how to love our God and in return He has taught me how to love you (of course not more than him ‘wink’).  Thank you for not being afraid to tell me how it is, for your love, for your support, and for your life lessons.  You have my heart, my mind and my soul.  I love you. 

“And for the even better part of me, my Savior – you teach me something new everyday in your words and through my wife.  Thank you for your continual blessings that I am not worthy of and never will be.” 

Emma leaned back against him and turned her head so she was looking at him.  Justin curled his left arm around her and brought his attention to her. 

 

“What?”  He asked about the way she was looking at him.

 

“Nothin’.”  Emma shrugged.  “You’re just the sweetest man ever.”

 

“Ever?”  Justin double checked with a smile on his face.  Emma nodded and kissed him quickly. 

 

~~

I know this love will see us through
When seas get rough

Oh I won’t give up no
I won’t give in now, now 

Babe you are the better part of me
I believe, I believe you are 

Baby you’re the better part of me
‘Cause I believe, I believe you are
You are 

You’re the better part, part of me
The better part of me

Babe you are the better part of me

I believe, I believe you are, you are 

Justin finished his set after a couple more songs and disappeared backstage.  Noah was still showing his excitement along with everyone else there, but Emma knew he would crash before they even got back to the hotel. 

She and everyone else that they had invited to come to the show that night waited for the crowd to clear out before heading backstage to see Justin. 

“Daddy!”  NJ dropped Emma’s hand and ran to his father.

 

“Hey NJ!”  Justin scooped him up in his arms.

 

“I saw you.  You’re so good Daddy,” Noah smiled widely as he praised Justin.

 

“Thanks,” Justin chuckled and stepped closer to Emma who was still holding Will in her arms.  “He’s out cold, huh?”  He leaned over to check on Will and brushed his fingers through the little boy’s dark brown hair.  Emma nodded, and he gave her a quick kiss before asking her what she thought of the show.

 

“Better than the first show I went to of yours,” she teased.  Justin rolled his eyes at the memory she had brought up.

 

“We can head back to the hotel in a few minutes.  I’m just going to say goodnight to everyone.”

 

“That’s fine.”  Emma smiled.  She stepped back and let Justin finish talking with his band and a few other people before they headed out with their immediate family to go back to the hotel.

 

The boys had fallen asleep during the car ride.  So Emma and Justin each carried one to their room and put them to bed. 

 

“NJ had so much fun watching you,” Emma said quietly as the two excited the room the boys were sleeping in.  Justin pulled the door shut behind them, and Emma wrapped her arms around him in a hug.  “He adores you, and I just know Will’s going to be the same.”  She smiled up at him.

 

“And what about you?” He placed his hands on her waist.

 

“Me too …” Emma stood up taller so she could kiss him.  “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate tonight or everything you did for me last year.  Your love and support means so much to me.” 

 

He kissed her quickly and let his hands fall from her waist.  “Ready to go to bed?”  He grinned, and Emma knew what he was getting at, she rolled her eyes, but she still dropped her arms from around his body and followed him into their room for the night.

 

Justin closed the door behind them.  They got ready for bed, and after pulling back the covers on the bed, Emma and Justin climbed into bed.

 

“Thanks again for tonight Justin.”  Emma curled up against his side, in his arms.

 

“Anytime,” Justin sighed.  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, and that I was able to do it for you and for a good cause.” 

 

Emma lifted her head up, from where it was resting on his arm, and placed a kiss on his cheek.  He turned his head so his lips would meet hers.  Emma sighed and deepened the kiss.  She pulled away after a few minutes, and moved so she was lying on top of him – her forehead resting against his.

 

“Emmy,” Justin held her closer to him.  “I’m so glad you’re healthy.”

 

“Me too.”  She tucked her head under his chin.  “Not to be absolutely cheesy or anything, but you’re the better part of me too – second to God of course …”

 

“Thanks.”  He kissed her as she picked her head back up to look at him.  “I know exactly what you mean.”  Justin put his hands on her cheeks and brushed his lips against hers again.  “God has blessed me in so many ways.”

“Absolutely,” Emma agreed.