--- 

*FLASHBACK*

“I can’t believe this is happening. The boys seriously have a record deal, and this could really happen. I mean, have you heard all about these boys called the Backstreet Boys?” Lynn asked.

“Yes, I’ve heard about them. I mean, I was hesitant to let my little Lansten join the group, but he seems really adamant. So what happens after rehearsal again?” Debbie asked.

“They just need to get an investor and an advance to get them oversees for the tour. In the meantime, they rehearse...” Lynn started.

“Hey!” 

I growled. I was trying to listen to the parents talk, but some jerk interrupted me. 

“Justin!” A few hisses, followed by some racket pulled me away from my focus.

“What!?” I moaned loudly. “What do you want, Lance?” I sighed. We were all staying in this house in Orlando while we rehearsed for this tour, whatever that meant. All I knew is it meant that I got to dance, and I really liked dancing. The house wasn’t far from the large warehouse our manager had rented for us to to dance.

“Hey! Britney’s outside. She wants to go rehearse in the warehouse. You wanna go?” he mentioned excitedly. “C’mon, screw the grownups.”

I rolled my eyes. Lance was always so excited to hang out with Britney, and I never understood it. I mean, she was my friend. We had known each other since the Mickey Mouse Club. He was stupid for thinking she liked him, but I wasn’t going to say anything.

“Sure,” I shrugged. 

We grabbed our stuff and snuck out the back door to see Britney waiting, dressed in pigtails and a skirt. I couldn’t help but give her a cheeky grin. She made me feel funny, but I wasn’t sure why.

“Hey,” she smiled at me. I saw her clasp her hands together and shrug her shoulders a little. To be honest, it looked really weird. She did that a lot lately, but I didn’t understand why. When we hung out last summer for the show, she was like a total tom boy, and now she was acting different. I just wasn’t sure what kind of different.

“Hey,” I nodded in return.

I saw her just start giggling and I shook my head. “What are you laughing about?” I asked.

She stopped immediately. “Nothin...” she trailed. Things were weird for a second.

“Last one there’s a rotten egg,” I laughed, running off down the street with my friends.

We crossed over the bridge into this hidden cul de sac community. It was scary and exciting for us because we weren’t supposed to be over there. There were even signs that said you weren’t allowed, with a guard that guarded the bridge. Luckily, he was old and didn’t pay much attention. He was easy to get by.

Once we got to the warehouse, we looked around, unsure of how to get in.

“What do we do now?”  Lance asked, staring up at the front door. Britney tried to open it, but it was locked.

“It’s locked,” she pouted.

“Let’s try the back!” I stated. I was going to get us in there, come hell or high water. We meandered around through the bushes and trees. It almost felt like fighting to get through the jungle on an epic hike. 

“Are we there yet?” Britney whined.

“The castle’s just on the other side!” I yelled, making up my own adventure as we stepped through mud and puddles. When we came through the brush on the other side, none of us recognized the building that we thought was our rehearsal space.

“Look, there’s a door!” Lance smiled. All of us were a little dirty and muddy at this point.

The three of us ran up to the it, trying to the knob simultaneously. Surprisingly, it opened.

“Ooooh,” the three of us let out. We walked in, dripping a little from wading through the watery trenches of mud. Unfortunately, none of us recognized this place.

“Where are we?” Britney asked, suddenly unsure of our surroundings. “This doesn’t look like the warehouse. Are we supposed to be here?” she asked.

“Shut up, Britney,” I mumbled. “We’re supposed to be having fun. I knew we shouldn’t have brought a girl on this adventure, Lance.” I wasn’t trying to be mean, but girls always ruined fun time.

Lance looked at Britney and reached for her hand. “I’m sorry...” he started.

It didn’t last, though. Britney immediately started crying. “You’re such a jerk, Justin!” she cried, running deeper into the house. 

I groaned. “Come on, let’s go find her.”

“Why did you have to be so mean to her?” Lance asked.

“Because! She’s being a stupid girl!” I sigh. “And she’s been acting funny lately. She’s being lame.”

Both of us stopped immediately as we looked up, standing next to an also-silent Britney, as we tried to process what was going on in front of us.

“What is that?” Lance whispered. Our argument was long forgotten.

“I don’t know...” I answered, confused.

An old, heavy set man was sitting on a couch, slightly facing them in a room that looked a lot like a makeshift theater. His pants were down to his ankles, and he was breathing heavy as he stroked this odd, hard rod-looking thing that was strangely placed between his legs. Confused, my eyes turned to the projected images he was watching.

On the screen, there were two naked men and a naked woman doing things that I didn’t understand. It was intriguing, though. They all seamed to be either in pain, or extremely happy. I couldn’t understand which, though.

Apparently, I let out a noise, because the old man looked at us. Britney and Lance were gone in a flash, running as fast as they could out of there. I, unfortunately, seemed to be stuck in place. I wanted to run, I just didn’t know how.

“Hey, kid!” the man yelled. “What are you doing in my house?” He stood up, leaving the strange rod between his legs pointing straight at my face, even though he was a good 20 feet away from me.

“Uh...” I stammered. 

“Get out!” he yelled.

“I...what is that?” I pointed.

The man softened a little when he realized that I was a kid who had absolutely no idea what was going on in the world.  “What are you doing here?” he asked again. “How did you get into my house?”

“Uhh...uh, we were just trying to get into the warehouse. We’re dancers. We wanted to practice dancing. We’re...we sing and stuff. Going on tour,” I stammered again, still fixated on the thing between his legs.

“Tour, huh?” he asked, curiously. “Oh, your parents are renting my warehouse, huh?” 

I just nodded.

He finally shrugged, about to pull his pants up. “What are you staring at kid. You’ve never seen a penis before?” he asked.

I shook my head no.

“Do you know what those people on the screen are doing?” he asked.

I shook my head no again.

“Do you want to?” he asked.

I nodded yes.

“Do you promise not to tell your parents?” he asked.

I nodded yes again.

“Come here,” he stated, patting the spot next to him. I cautiously moved my way to the couch and sat next to him.

“This is a penis,” he offered. “All boys have one. You have one too...” he trailed off.

“I do?” I asked meekly.

He nodded. “Pull your pants down, I’ll show you.”

I obliged, although I felt uncomfortable doing so. I looked down at the little thing between my tiny legs. 

“That’s a penis?” I asked.

He nodded. “When you get excited, it gets hard. Like this. Do you want to touch it?” he asked again.

I shook my head no.

“Come on...just touch it to feel it...” he offered. Hesitantly, I did. It was so hard, and I wasn’t sure how that was ever supposed to happen to my body.

I pulled my hand away as soon as I touched it.

“W...what do you do with it when it’s hard?” I asked.

“You put it in things. You can stroke it yourself, which feels good. Or you can put it in a girls mouth. Or in her vagina. Or in a guy’s butt.”

I made a disgusted face.

“Ewww!” I shrieked.

He laughed.

“It’s not eww at all. It feels great. You should try it sometime,” he offered.

I looked up at the people on the screen. I tilted my head to the side as these two men tied this poor woman up while they rammed the weird thing between their legs into the thing between her legs.

The man finally shook his head. “Get out of here. Go hang out with your friends...”

I nodded, jumping off the couch and pulling my pants off, running outside and back through the jungle. I finally found Lance and Britney standing in the middle of the road just waiting for me in confused silence.

I nodded to them when I got to them.

We never talked about it again.

--- 

I heard a sigh. "Wow, so...this man. He...he didn't do anything bad to you, did he?" she sighed.

I shook my head no.

"Not that day..." I trailed off, looking down. "But that was my first exposure...to sexual anything. It was very innocent. I felt like he just thought I was kid who didn't know anything about it and was curious."

"Were you curious?" Cadence asked.

I shrugged. The truth was, I was curious. I battled with myself for a long time over it. Why I didn't run away. Why I wasn't scared or apalled like Lance and Britney had been. Maybe it's because I grew up in the South. Maybe it's because I wanted to know. Maybe it's because I didn't know any better.

"I don't know. Something kept me there, I guess." I sighed.

"Why did you touch his penis?" she asked, squeezing my hand.

"He was an adult. He asked me to," I whispered.

"Did you enjoy touching it?" she asked.

I shrugged again. "I just wanted to know what it felt like because mine wasn't like that. I couldn't have that conversation with the guys or with my parents. It was like...having this taboo answer book right in front of you. And with all the emotions and hormones that were coursing through my body...I couldn't help but...you know." I sighed.

"You said that...he didn't do anything to you that day. Does that mean you went back to see him again?" she asked. Her voice was so soft and gentle.

"No," I finished quietly. "I didn't go back to see him."

Cadence looked at me confused. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"He came to find me," I finished, a complete look of defeat taking over my features.

Cadence could tell my mood had shifted after sharing such a deep, personal story. And sadly, I think she also knew that this was just the tip of the iceburg.

"Why don't we call it a day. I think you could use some food and some rest. Same time tomorrow?" she asked.

I nodded. For the first time, all I wanted was food and a nap. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind right now.

"Thank you," I offered as I got up. And with that, she was gone as soon as she appeared. Tomorrow was another day.