I felt the warmth of the sun tickling my face, arousing my mind from its natural sleepy state. My arms moved above my head to stretch, a groan languidly escaping my lips with my overdue yawn. I push myself to sit up, and just look at the window defeated.

I look at the wall at the hash marks. It’s officially been 19 days since I’ve been in rehab. This marks the second day I haven’t had a constant hard on. In fact, little guy hasn’t even thought about being hard since I told Cadence about my first sexual encounter. Part of me wishes I hadn’t told her, because I sorely miss the amazing feeling of jerking off in the morning, but the other part of me is relieved to experience life, even for an hour, that doesn’t center around finding a release.

Deciding to not worry about it, I stand up and hit the shower. It’s relieving to feel the hot water wash over my skin, taking the time to actually focus on the soap. It’s weird to me to see my penis so soft and out of commission. I gently wash it, partially hoping something happens, but nothing does.

“Weird...” I mumble.

I settle on letting it go, finishing rinsing off and dressing in my scrubs just as I hear the knock on the door.

“Just a minute...” I yell. I fix my hair in the mirror and walk to the door to open it. I smile when I see the familiar face of the old man orderly. The perks of being on this hidden side of the facility was that everyone was the same. I liked that.

“Morning, Mr. Timberlake,” he offered in his kind tone.

I nod. “Good morning. What was your name?” I asked.

“Daniel,” he offered. 

I smile, nodding again. “Daniel. Nice to meet you. Time for my session?”

He smiled agreeably, holding the door for me as we enter the long hallway to Cadence’s door.

“Dr. Shaw,” he offered, pushing open the large mahogany door to the “wonder room,” as I liked to call it. “Mr. Timberlake is here.”

I walked in, hands shoved deep in my pockets. I nodded to Daniel, and then bowed my head slightly to Cadence. “Mornin,’” I offer, my slight southern drawl coming out.

She smiled at me, and it was like the sun got a little brighter around her. I took my spot on the crazy oval bed hanging from the ceiling, and just stared up at the ceiling. “Good morning, Justin.”

“So where are we starting today?” I ask, folding my hands over my abs, letting my fingers interlock in comfort.

She smiled and sat comfortably next to me. She was always smiling, and she looked so comfortable in her hippy-looking skirt outfit.

“I thought we could pick up where you left off. Perhaps you can tell me what happened with Lance and Britney?” 

I could tell she was being cautious, knowing how sensitive this topic was for me. I appreciated that about her, in a way. She was so safe, and so comforting for me. 

“Okay...” I trailed off. I let my eyes close, and took a deep breath. My mind wandered, and I started to remember what happened after my encounter.

--

Lance, Britney, and I never really talked about what happened that day. I certainly didn’t tell them that I stayed to watch a dirty movie with the old neighbor, or that I had touched the thing between his legs. I wasn’t sure what they would say if I did bring it up, so I didn’t.

It had been few weeks since the encounter with the crazy neighbor, and I couldn’t stop thinking about any of it -- the movies, the hard thing between the legs, how excited those people seemed. I was captivated, but had no way of exploring any more without either getting my hands on a movie or going back to the old man’s house. Neither seemed like they were in my immediate future.

I ran down the stairs and was headed to the pool in the backyard, since it was an off day, and was surprised to see Britney standing there in a bikini. I had never seen her in a bikini before, so it was kind of awkward, but intriguing. I finished walking down the stairs to greet her.

“Hey Brit...” I started. “Didn’t know you were here...”

She nodded. “Lance invited me over. Said we could go swimming. You down?” she smiled. I saw her twirl her hair and I felt a little bit of a hitch catch in my breath. A new tingling sensation started happening, and I had no idea what was going on.

My voice squeaked as I tried to answer. “Uh...um, yeah!” I laughed, blushing slightly. "Last one in 's a rotten egg!”

I ran off to the pool with her and smiled as I just went for it and cannonballed into the water. “CANNONBALL!!!” I yelled, splashing Britney in the process. When I surfaced, I looked up to notice the water dripping down her body, even though she was making an unhappy face. I swallowed hard and immediately felt this strange twitching and stirring between my thighs. 

I watched in what seemed like slow motion as Britney jumped in the pool after me, obviously attempting to beat my splash and repay me for getting her wet. All I could do was laugh in response and barrage her with water when she surfaced.

“That was the worst cannonball I’ve ever seen,” I teased. I didn’t know why I was so mean to Britney sometimes. I guess it was because it was easier than being nice to her. She did look really pretty today, though. 

Britney scoffed. “Oh, really?” she asked, incredulously.

“Yeah...really!” I smirked before I splashed even more water at her.

“Stop!” she screamed out of frustration. Just as I stopped, Lance walked to the pool.

“Justin! Why are you always such a dick...” Lance trailed. He was a little bit older than me, so Britney seemed to gravitate towards him sometimes. I wasn't sure if she "like liked" Lance, or if she was just happier to see him than me because he was nicer. Either way, she screamed excitedly as she swam to the edge of the pool.

I just grunted in response. I don’t know why I did what I did, it just happened. Lance was certainly being a buzzkill, though. I watched mutedly as Lance jumped in the pool and continued to be overly nice to Britney. Part of me started to feel a different tingle, and soon I realized I didn’t like Lance and Britney talking together with her scantily clad. Jury's still out on why I felt that way.

I swam over and splashed both of them out of spite before getting out of the pool dramatically. I walked into the house, not caring about the fact that I hadn’t grabbed a towel and was dripping water all over the place, even though my mother would murder me if she knew I had done so.

I stomped up to my room, which was a large communal room that Lance, JC, and I shared. I plopped down on JC’s bed, not wanting to climb to my top bunk in my frustration. I also didn’t care that I was getting his sheets wet.

“How could Lance do this to me? How could she just...be so nice to her! Making her giggle. It's crap!” I groan out of frustration, letting my fist pound the bed. In the process, I knocked the pillow off of JC’s bed. When I slid down to pick it up, I noticed the edge of a magazine sticking out slightly from beneath the bed.

“What’s this?” I mumbled. I tugged on the magazine until it came unearthed from between the mattresses.

“Hustler...” I mumbled. “What is this?”

I curiously flipped through the pages, and I realized it was a nudey magazine. With each page I flipped, I revealed a new naked woman, to the point where the throbbing and twitching between my legs was intolerable and impossible to ignore

I wasn’t sure what came over me, but I decided to drop my pants and try touching myself. It felt...oddly good. I took turns glancing at the magazine and closing my eyes, taking solace in the pleasure and strange feelings coursing through my body. I had no idea what I was doing, but I liked feeling good. I felt this pressure building, although I didn’t know what it meant. I just wanted to keep feeling this good. I squeaked out a little moan just as the door opened, and Lance walked in.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

“J--Justin?” he asked, curiously.

My eyes snapped open, and I just stared up in shock, mouth agape and adrenaline coursing through my system.

“Uh....uh...” I trailed, not exactly sure what to do with my hands ore my exposed body.

“Dude! What are you doing?” he asked, his eyes staring up at mine. Our eyes connected, my penis in hand, and I took a deep, confused breath.

“Uh...I’m...” I wasn’t sure what to say.

Lance looked down at my penis, and I felt this sense of embarrassment wash over my body. 

“Dude...” Lance trailed off again.

Embarrassed, I tried to shove my now rock hard penis in my pants, but it was extremely painful and difficult to do.

“Sorry, I---I just...” I offered, not sure what to say.

Lance just put his hand up. “Not now. Just...Johnny came over with our new investor and our parents. We have a band meeting...” he trailed.

“Oh,” I nodded. I zipped up my pants and shoved the magazine back under the bed. After I got myself re-situated, we walked down the stairs together, and I nearly stopped in my tracks.

There, standing with our parents and our manager, was the creepy old man neighbor that I had watched the dirty movies with.

“Kids,” Johnny started. “This is my new partner, and the guy who’s going to make sure you get to Europe for your first tour. Meet the owner of Transcontinental Records. This is Lou Perlman.”

I just stared, incredulously. “Hi,” I squeaked out.

“Hi kids...” he smiled an ugly, creepy, toothy grin. “You ready to be stars?”

So much for that hard on.  

--