I left Boston a week ago with the unknown hanging over my head. When the car started to pull away I didn't know if that was the last time I was ever going to see her. She seemed so upset that I was leaving and I wasn't sure if she would be able to handle everything that went along with being my girlfriend. My girlfriend...it sounds so weird to say. I've been single for a couple of years and not only has it been a while but we just met and she's a fan. One upside to that though, it would probably be easier to keep it quiet. The minute they get a picture of me saying hello to another celeb they automatically link me to dating them, so maybe since she isn't known they won't link us together and we can work on figuring out how this will all work without dealing with craziness on top of it. I'm by no means ashamed to be dating her, but I don't want to throw her in head first into something that will completely fuck with her life. I want her to be completely comfortable with me, and trust me fully before we add more stress to our relationship.

It's been interesting dealing with the every day hustle and bustle of tour and finding time to get in touch with her. It's been difficult but exciting all at the same time. My day is jam packed so being able to eat is sometimes a luxury, but after the first couple of days we kind of figured out a system. She had early morning classes and I had early morning rehearsals, so after I was out of rehearsal I'd call her and I was able to talk for at least a few minutes each day, and after the show depending on what time zone I was in, we'd IChat before bed. It gave me something to look forward to every day rather then just go through the motions, and apparently I've been in a better mood according to Rachel, Eric and Lonnie. Even though Rach was skeptical about it at first, she's come to enjoy the fact that I'm starting to say no to interviews if they aren't critical to my career and I'm taking some time out of the day for myself which gives her more free time then usual. The other day she informed me that I hadn't bitched at her all week and she was becoming quite fond of Marissa for this sole reason. I was happier, I woke up each morning looking forward to something and it made me want to get through my day as quickly as possible which made me attempt to do everything right the first time. My shows were getting better and everyone felt more comfortable because I was being just a little bit less of an asshole.

The day I landed in Ohio after leaving Boston Marissa told me about how her roommate was grilling her with questions about where she was and who she was with the night before. She somehow managed to get out of the conversation without giving away too many details but she did tell her that she had met someone. Since that day Amy had been bugging her to find out who it was, and I could tell it was taking a toll on her not being able to give away to many details. A week later in the middle of my show during a wardrobe change, Rachel raced into the room with panic written all over her face.

"What's wrong Rach?" I asked while buttoning up a new shirt.

"Marissa..." was all she could say before catching her breath.

"What? What about Marissa...RACHEL SPIT IT OUT!" I screamed knowing that I had to be back on stage in less then a minute. I could feel the drums, and the bass was shaking the floor. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest.

"She called...something about a girl telling the school magazine that she saw you guys together. People have been hounding her, she doesn't know what to do," she said quickly.

The last thing I wanted to do at that moment was go on stage and perform for another hour. I knew this whole going incognito thing wasn't going to last for long. I had to figure something out fast to get her out of the situation she was in, damage control was needed ASAP.

"What day is today?" I screamed over the music to Rachel.

"Friday," she yelled as I walked past her to the platform that was going to rise with or without me on it in about 10 seconds.

"Call her back and book her a flight Rach, get her the fuck out of Boston and tell her I'll call her the moment I step off stage," I said as the platform began to rise. The lights went down above me and I heard thousands of screams. I looked at Rachel and she was just standing there. "Do it Rachel...NOW."

No sooner did I say that, I was on stage singing and dancing with a smile on my face like nothing was wrong but inside I was flipping out.

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me

Is the magazine popular enough that millions of people already read it?

I wanna rock your body
Please stay

Have the paparazzi already gotten to her?

Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play

Is she crying? Did I make her cry this time?

Dance with me
Just let me rock you

Is it all going to be over as quickly as it started?

Till the break of day

The last hour of the show felt like days. I couldn't really concentrate on what I was doing and started to run into dancers and forget the lyrics to my own damn songs. Luckily I have fans that know every word to every song I ever put out so with some quick thinking, putting the microphone out to the audience made it seem like it was all planned in advance. During Lovestoned I completely disregarded the beat boxing and luckily for me this tour I was in control and with a few hand signals I was able to stop everyone else from it too thus cutting the song by at least 5 minutes. After Sexyback I went to change for the last time, and as I was running back up to the stage not even two minutes after I sprinted off of it, Tim stopped me.

"You okay man? You were a little frazzled out there dude."

"Yeah I'm fine," I said trying to get away. Marissa wasn't the only one keeping our relationship a secret. Only three people knew that we were actually in a relationship, and I wanted to keep it that way for now. I haven't even told my Mama.

"You sure?"

"FUCK MAN I'm fine, can you let me go now so I can finish the show?" 

If he hadn't thought something was wrong before he definitely knew something was wrong now, but he let me go and I ran back on stage. I totally cut out my thank you to the fans, thinking about it now that was the one thing that I should have left in. I flew through Another Song and ran around the stage bowing like a crazy person. I got out of there as fast as possible and literally sprinted back to my dressing room with Lonnie and Eric attempting to keep up behind me. The dogs jumped on me as soon as I opened the door and I looked around frantically for Rachel. I heard her walking down the hall having a one sided conversation which meant she was on the phone, I spun around the minute I heard her voice and looked at her with questioning eyes and she started jogging towards me.

"Hold on," she said to whoever she was talking to.

"SO?" I asked

"Here," she said handing me the phone, "it's her." I grabbed the phone out of her hands like she stole my favorite toy and I almost dropped it putting it up to my ear.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she said her voice shaking a little.

"Did Rach book you a flight?"

"Justin you don't need to fly me out there, I can handle this and plus I have work this weekend."

"So call out sick, I don't want you to have to deal with questioning it's not fair to you."

"I have it under control Justin I'm okay." She wasn't budging, but I needed her with me to see for myself that she was okay. I needed to take a different approach to this.

"What happened?"

"Do you remember that girl that stopped me when you were waiting outside for me?"

"Yeah..."

"Well she obviously didn't believe me when I said it wasn't you. She writes for the school newspaper and she wrote a two page story about how one of Suffolk's own was dating Justin Timberlake, then went and flat out said it was me. I went to class today and everyone was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why, then Amy comes barging into my room and shoves the paper in my face and tells me I have a lot of explaining to do."

"What did you tell her?"

"I denied it. Said that it wasn't you just a guy that I met that looked like you and since you were in town that night the girl just assumed."

"Did she buy it?"

"Kind of, but I'm sure she sees right through me and just wants me to believe that she believes me."

"Why don't you just tell her?"

"Because Justin, as much as I love her and want to trust her, I just don't know if I can with something this big. If I tell her and she goes to magazines not only does my life get thrown upside down, but you're career gets thrown into it. You're on tour and stressed out enough you don't need this on top of it."

She was right. If it got out that I was dating a fan things would go crazy. I only had one more week on tour and then I had a good month to two months off and we could figure out the best way to put it out there, but right now I had to focus on finishing out the tour without any added pressure. But the only way to make this all go away was if she was with me, that way no one had access to her or me. As of right now it was only published in a school newspaper and she denied it, but if it got out to any major media outlet we were both screwed. She had just finished her last week of classes; she had finals next week and then was off for 2 weeks before the fall semester started. I had to get her out here for at least the weekend to come up with a game plan.

"I know that you have work and you don't want to come out here, but Marissa please please please just for the weekend so that we can come up with a game plan and we can get you away from all the questioning."

"I have finals next week Justin, I have to study."

"So study here. I'm not saying you have to go everywhere with me, I just need you here to make sure that nothing gets blown up."

"I really don't know about this, don't you think they'll start questioning even more if I just leave?"

"Say you're going home for the weekend, no one needs to know where you're going." She took a minute to think about it. I could hear her clicking her nails on what must have been her desk, and taking one deep breath after another. I looked up and Rachel was standing exactly where she was when she handed me the phone just staring at me. I shrugged my shoulders at her and sat down on the floor of the hallway. "Ris please?" I asked now pouting into the phone.

"Shit hold on," she said quickly as I heard her drop the phone. I could hear her talking to someone in the background and I could only assume it was Amy when I heard her say 'Is it the guy? Let me talk to him.' It's funny how you can tell when people are fighting for the phone; it's like wind blowing right into the speaker. Somehow Marissa won the battle and got back on the phone.

"Sorry," she said, "My ANNOYING roommate is being a bitch."

"Marissa why don't you just tell her. If she suspects anyway it's not worth hiding from her, and she might even be helpful. I know you don't trust her but I can't imagine her going to every major magazine or media outlet, ask her to keep it quiet, and if she doesn't well it probably can't get worse then it already is, the credible media isn't quick to take the word of a college student."

"You're awfully trustworthy."

"From what you told me about her I think that she'd back you up and help keep this under wraps for at least a little longer."

"She's going to want to meet you, and she'll gush and ask for autographs and be a teeny."

"As long as she's on our side I don't care what she does...and Marissa..."

"Yeah."

"I'm booking you the first flight out of Boston the moment I hang up with you, so you might want to tell her right after you call out sick from work and while you're packing a bag for the weekend."

"You're not going to let me win are you?" she asked.

"Nope, not this time," I said, "and pack for warm weather, we're flying to Florida in the morning and we'll be there for the whole weekend."

"At least I'll be basking in the sun," she said reluctantly.

"HEY," I said attempting to take offense, "at least you'll be with me was the right response to my previous statement."

"Oh right...that too," she said with what I could tell was a smile on her face.

"Now go talk to Amy and call a cab, I'll text you with the flight details okay?"

"Ey ey captain."

"And even though what happened sucks, I can't wait to see you."

"Me too," she said, "I'll see you in a few hours...and Justin," I heard her say as I was about to end the call, "thanks."

"Your welcome, see you soon, bye," I said as I hit the end button. I breathed a big sigh of relief and looked up to see not only Rachel staring at me, but now Eric and Tim were there as well. I threw Rachel my phone and told her to book the first flight out of Boston and to make sure someone was at the airport to pick her up then I walked back to my dressing room without addressing the other two people standing in front of me. I plopped down on the couch, sweaty shirt and pants and all. I don't know how I ever thought I'd be able to keep this between us, nothing is ever that easy when every single move you make is documented. I was the idiot for going out in public without security or anything though so it was no one else's fault but mine. I didn't care so much about what it was going to do to me if it got out, I could handle it just like I have with any other relationship I've been in, but it would be a whole new ball game for her, and it scared me a little bit to think that she might not want to play ball at all because of it. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a light knock on the door and my dogs jumped off the couch where they were sitting next to me and ran over to Tim.

"You still fine?" he asked in an I told you so kind of way.

"Barely. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it's really new and I wanted to make sure it was going to work before I put it out there." I assumed since he was standing over me while I was on the phone that he knew at least a little bit about what was going on.

"Who is she?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise me you won't talk to me like I've lost my mind."

"Don't play dude, it's not Britney again is it?"

"God no... no no no..." I said over and over again, "it definitely is NOT Britney. Her name is Marissa."

"Miller? The model...?"

"Not quite...she's actually...well she's not really famous."

"Someone from home?"

"She may or may not be a fan that I saw in the audience last week and made Eric go get and bring back to my dressing room. And we may or may not have gone to a bar after the show and spent the night together."

"Okay so it's worse then Brit," he said sitting down. "Do you know what you're getting yourself into J?"

"YES! GOD! I'm sick and tired of everyone treating me like I'm 5 years old. I've been in this business long enough to know what I'm doing is not normal and risky. I get it, but guess what...I don't give a fuck. I like this girl a lot, and I'm not just going to throw my feelings aside because she doesn't have famous attached to her name."

"As long as you know man. I won't say anything, I've got your back, just be careful..." he was interrupted by Rachel.

"Justin..."

"Yeah?" my head shot up.

"Her flights in an hour. I just talked to her and she told me to tell you she talked to Amy and that everything is good. She's on her way to the airport now, Lonnie will pick her up when she lands and take her to the hotel."

"Thanks Rach," I said with a sigh of relief.

"And I was wrong about her in the beginning, I really like her. She stands up to you and shit. You need that in your life."

"And you need to quit while you're ahead before you don't have a job," I said, "but I'm glad you like her."

She walked out with the dogs and Tim following behind her, and I hopped into the shower. I was a nervous wreck because of everything that was going on, but at the same time I was really excited that I got to see her again, and a week earlier then I expected at that. Her coming out here and dealing with this crap really shows that she's in it to win it. She's stronger then I expected her to be. Hopefully with the help of Amy this whole school newspaper thing will blow over and it will go back to what it was before it even happened. The truth is that I miss her. It's only been a week, and I've spent not even 24 hours with her but I miss her and I can't wait to see her again. So maybe this whole newspaper thing is a blessing in disguise.