Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for the reviews you guys! I'm sorry I made you whip out the tissues. Here's your next installment!
"When I was little I always had a countdown of when the next holiday, or birthday was because I knew I'd get to spend time with Frankie. We'd go in the backyard or to the park and play some kind of sport, usually baseball or football for hours on end. He'd always tell me I was one of the guys, and as we got older I really did become one of them. To this day I'm still the only female in our fantasy football league. I'd always get made fun of for it, and the minute I told Frankie about it he'd find whoever made fun of me and deal with it as it always liked to say. In reality he probably just stood over whoever it was and the sheer fright they got from seeing such a big guy in front of them made them come running back to me and apologize. In the end though, after about a week of that happening that person ended up being accepted into our group of friends. As you all know, Frankie didn't have a bad bone in his body, after "dealing with it," he'd always feel bad and end up befriending people who I always thought were the enemy. If he hadn't done that though, I wouldn't have half the friends I do today and Frankie and I would be the only ones in our fantasy football league."

 

"He was more then just my cousin, he was one of my best friends. He had a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone. His smile that was plastered on his face 24 hours a day 365 days a year lit up the room every time he walked in, and every time you heard his big belly laugh which was quite often, you couldn't help but laugh yourself. He was a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin and a friend to countless people all of whom are in this room right now, and to the thousands of people that were there last night. All those people are a testament to how amazing of a person Frankie was."

 

"To me, he meant the world. He was there for me through some of the hardest times of my life, and was always there with a smile and hug telling me that everything would be okay. We went to school together and had big plans to get out of here and move to California as fast as possible after graduation. He hated the snow. He'd see the first snowflake of the winter and curse about it every single year for at least a week. He always thought that if it was snowing outside everything should be closed, classes should be cancelled, and the city should shovel the sidewalks and clean off the cars. When he found out in the middle of winter that he had Leukemia he blamed it on the snow. He knew that it wasn't really the snows fault but it wasn't Frankie's nature to sulk and be depressed so he had to lighten the mood somehow. Every time he went in for chemo and got hooked up to the machines he cursed the snow and went on with his day keeping his mood positive and a smile on his face. He didn't let this disease bring him down, he pushed forward fighting every single day doing everything he could to beat it. He sacrificed a year of his life to be cooped up in his bedroom by himself, not able to hang out with his friends or go to school, and his outlook on life was more positive then, then my outlook on life has ever been."

 

"Frankie was the strongest person I ever met and probably will ever meet in my entire life. He has done more for me then anyone has ever done. He was always just a phone call away. Every birthday, holiday, major life event, minor life event, crisis, he was there for them all. All he wanted in life was to be happy, and to have everyone around him be happy too. He did everything in his power to make that happen even as the disease slowly took his life away. There are no words to describe how difficult it was to watch him suffer and be in pain, and when the doctors told him he was in remission it gave us all a new lease on life. The last year and a half was spent making new memories, laughing, and enjoying life. Frankie made the most of the last year and a half even though he didn't know it was going to be his last."

 

"There are no words to say how grateful I am to have had Frankie be a part of my life. A million thank yous wouldn't be enough for everything he has done for family, our friends, and me. I owe so much of who I am today to him. He's made me a better person, a happier person, a more confident and intelligent person. I don't know who is going to proofread my papers before I hand them in anymore, and I don't know who is going to be sitting next to me at Fenway Park the next Red Sox game I attend. I have no clue who I'm going to call with my next crisis, or who I'm going to celebrate with at graduation. I'm going to miss his laugh, his smile and his bear hugs. I'm going to miss the fake insults and fake fights. I'm going to miss everything about him. I am who I am today because of Frankie. And there are no words that can describe how much pain I feel inside knowing that he is gone. But he's off to a better place now, free of pain, free of tubes and needles and everything else that came along with it. And I know that he will always be with me. He was taken away from us too soon, but Frankie wouldn't want us to cry because he's gone, he'd want us to smile because he was here. So after today I want everyone to make it a point to smile every time they think of him, and say hi to a stranger just like he would. Help me let Frankie's legacy live on. I love you Frankie, thank you for everything you have ever done for me these past 21 years, you'll never know how much you mean to me. I'm going to miss you so much, keep smiling down upon us up there big guy. The world will never be the same without you. You're my best friend, and I love you."

 

When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue

You are such a blessing and I won't be messing
With the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

There is no other one who can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Cause I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you that I need you

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

I'm here right beside you
I will never leave you
and I feel the pain you feel when you start crying

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do

You're my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
Yes I do
Yes I do

 

The music stopped and everyone in the packed to capacity church stood up and started clapping. I looked around and saw not one dry eye in the room including my own. She was up all night writing it. Everything she wrote she crossed out after re-reading it saying nothing was good enough and that no words could express what she felt and what she wanted to say. After watching the video she cried in my arms for hours and then got up threw her shoulders back and started writing what she wanted to be the best speech she's ever written in her life, and she was successful. I watched her walk down the stairs and hug her aunt, uncle and cousin before putting her hand on the covered casket and taking a moment to pray silently. She walked back over to stand next to me in the pew with tear stained cheeks, red eyes and a wad of wet tissues in her hand. She wanted to make it through without crying but I knew just as well as she did that that would not happen. Luke, Amy and Jen all leaded over to give her a hug and she couldn't control her sobbing. I wrapped her up in my arms and did the only thing I knew how in the situation, I just held her and let her cry.

 

The priest gave the final blessing and Amazing Grace was being sung as the casket was rolled by us. She buried her head in my chest unable to watch it go by. This morning at the funeral home she didn't go in to say goodbye she wanted to remember Frankie like he was in the video. The cemetery was heart wrenching and after throwing a white rose on top of the casket she walked back over to me and stood there not moving until the cemetery crew asked us to leave so that they could lower the casket. Everyone around us had dispersed and she walked over and sat down on the ground next to the casket. I stayed back and let her have her time with him and asked the crew to come back in a few minutes. I watched her talk to him like he was standing right in front of her; I wanted so badly to be able to make him actually be there for her. After about ten minutes she got up and walked directly to the car passing me without any contact at all. I followed behind her but not before thanking him, and promising him that I would never hurt her. I sat in the back seat next to her and she put her head on my shoulder before Luke drove away. We pulled up to the hall where everyone was meeting for lunch soon after and before she got out of the car she took one last deep breath, looked at herself in the mirror and brushed her last tear away.

 

Inside we sat at a table with a group of her friends and her sister. Her parents sat at the complete opposite end of the hall never looking over to our table. People were coming up to her left and right telling her how great she did and how moving her eulogy was. She thanked them all and introduced everyone to me. A few people asked me for autographs for themselves, or their kids or friends and I was happy to sign them. Her hand didn't leave mine for one minute the entire time we were there. I knew after today things were going to change, and soon possibly even by tomorrow it would hit the airwaves about our relationship. She seemed to be dealing with it better then I imagined she would. She sat smiling while I signed autographs and offered to take pictures for people. This whole new perspective new life thing couldn't have come at a better time.

 

We were invited back to Frankie's parents house and I was excited to get to know the side of her family that she really loved. I spoke with Rebecca for what seemed like hours and she was telling me all kinds of stories about when they were kids what Marissa was like. The more and more I learned about her; the more and more it confirmed my feelings for her. Looking at old pictures a smile went back on her face and her eyes started to light up again. Before we realized it, it was almost 9:00 at night. We said our goodbyes and sent our condolences one last time before we got back in the car.

 

"I have to go home and get some stuff."

 

"You want me to stop at your dorm?" Luke asked.

 

"No, I need to go home home." Luke looked at me in the rearview mirror pleading with me to say something.

 

"Do you want me to go get your stuff for you?" I asked.

 

"No, I know where it is but you can come if you want."

 

"Marissa are you sure going home is the right thing to do at this point?" Luke asked.

 

"No, but I have a funny feeling I'll never be stepping foot in that house again so I want to get some things that I know I'll want in the future out of there."

 

"I'm coming with you," I said quickly. I couldn't let her go in alone not after everything she's been through. Five minutes later we pulled up to a beat up two family brick house surrounded by a chain link fence. The porch light was on and flickering with moths flying around it. She opened the car door and stepped out onto a pothole filled street waiting to close the door until I got out.

 

"You sure you want to come in? The place is a dump and I'm sure there's some screaming going on."

 

"I'm positive," I said looking around and taking in my surroundings. She's told me about her house before but this was far worse then I expected. We walked up the broken brick stairs onto the creaky porch as she searched through her bag for her keys. After unlocking three locks, the door swung open and she walked in before motioning for me to follow her. The hallway was filled with shoes piled on the rug and the living room that was directly to my left had couches with piles of clothes and paperwork stacked about a foot high. Her mother was sleeping on the one recliner that wasn't covered with stuff, and the flicker of the TV was the only thing that lit the room. I followed her through the living room and dining room tip toeing so that the floors wouldn't creek so loud. We past the bathroom and her parents room and walked into the second room on the right. She turned the light on walked in and closed the door behind us.

 

"Don't laugh, I painted the walls in middle school and thought I was so cool because I had clouds on my wall." She walked over to an old dresser that looked like it was an antique and pulled out some pictures and some clothes. Her walls were covered in frames filled with pictures of herself and her friends, and motivational sayings. I walked around looking at all of the pictures while she got a duffle bag and started putting things in it. There were a ton of pictures of her and Frankie, silly pictures with Luke, Amy and Jen, and a bunch of faces that I didn't recognize. I stopped when I came across a collage and my face popped out at me. I smiled knowing it was from the Justified tour, and felt a little giddy knowing that she was there. An entire wall was filled with stacks upon stacks of CD's ranging from soundtracks to plays, to Billy Joel, to Eminem, Green Day, Biggie, Al Green, Christina, TI, and well...me. So much of her personality was wrapped up in these four walls. She started taking the frames off the walls and putting them in her bag, on a mission to take everything she'd ever possibly want or need from this room. After a few minutes she looked around and shrugged her shoulders, "I think that's it, you ready?"

 

"I'm ready whenever you are," I said reaching for the doorknob but stopping when I heard her father's voice.

 

"Are you in there?" he asked.

 

"Yeah it's me," she said pulling my hand off the doorknob.

 

"It was real nice of you to come to the wake and funeral and draw attention to yourself by bringing some big shot celebrity Marissa, you're a real class act."

 

"I've learned from the best." was her response.

 

"Well I hope your packing all your shit in there because after that act you put on today I don't really want to see you step foot in this house again."

 

"Don't you worry that's exactly what I'm doing." She was sitting on the bed now with her bag on her shoulder rolling her eyes and waiting for him to walk away from the door.

 

"Good. Oh by the way a bill came in my name for your tuition, are you trying to get money out of me or something?"

 

"No, it was probably a mistake." It was taking everything in me to not get up, throw the door open and punch this guy in the face. She just sat there like it was nothing, like she deserved to be spoken to like this. I gave her a look as if to say what are you going to do about this, and she just shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her nails.

 

"I hope you know that boy is just using you. I'm sure you've already put yourself out there with him; no celebrity, or anyone for that matter would want to date someone with your attitude. I hope you'll take him for a ride and get some money out of him," he said trailing off. I couldn't stop myself any longer. That was the last straw. I got up off the bed and she reached out to grab my wrist but I shrugged her off and flung the door open.

 

"Listen to me you son of a bitch," I said looking down on him, "you say one more fucking word to her and I'll kick the shit out of you. What kind of a father are you that you talk to your kid like that. That girl is the most amazing person I've ever met in my life and you're talking to her like she's a piece of trash. She's right to never come back here because she shouldn't have to put up with this abuse..."

 

"Justin please it's not worth it," she tried to stop me.

 

"You're her father, you're suppose to care for her and love her and treat her like gold. You know what she's been through these past few days and you're still treating her like shit. She didn't do anything to you what the fuck is your problem? What...you didn't realize I was in the room right so you spoke to her like you normally would instead of putting on the act you did yesterday? Well guess what no one believes your bullshit, speak one more word to her and I will kick the shit out of you," I then turned around grabbed her hand and started walking away without giving him a chance to say anything back to me. Her mother just looked at us when we past her and right before we walked out the door her father got in one last dig.

 

"Have fun with that mistake, and don't be too rough on her when you kick her to the curb, we wouldn't want to see her hurt." I clenched my fists and turned around to attack him, but I felt hands pull me backwards and out the door. The next thing I knew I was back in the car and Luke was driving away. It took me a few minutes to calm down, and once she saw my breathing steady she broke the silence.

 

"I told you it wasn't worth it."

 

"Marissa how can you let someone talk to you like that? Call you those names and say such degrading things?"

 

"I don't know, I guess I just got use to it after a while. You can only cry so much about it until you realize it's never going to stop and you just accept it."

 

"You shouldn't have to accept it because it shouldn't happen in the first place."

 

"Well it does Justin," she started to raise her voice, "it does happen and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm 21 years old, I'm an adult what do you want me to do call Child Protective Services on him?"

 

"I want you to do something! Stick up for yourself!"

 

"They are not worth my time anymore. I have better things to do then do something about them. This conversation is over. I got all my stuff and I don't ever plan on going back so there is nothing to worry about anymore."

 

"If I ever see him again..."

 

"THAT'S ENOUGH. Stop. It's hard enough to listen to it and deal with it, I don't need you yelling at me about it too." The car went silent. Luke and Amy were staring out the front window not saying a word. "I love you and I know you're just trying to protect me," she said more calmly, "but please stop okay? It's not worth it."

 

"Okay, I'm sorry," I said putting my arm around her. "I'm sorry."

***

 

We got back to the hotel around 11:00 and invited Luke and Amy up. We ordered some room service and popped in a movie while we waited for it. I couldn't focus on the movie though, all I could think about is what kind of life Marissa actually had growing up and how she ever went through that on a daily basis. I knew I couldn't say anything to her and she wanted me to end it but I couldn't stop thinking about it. She didn't say anything else to me in the car; we drove back with only the radio filling the silence. We both went into the bedroom to change a few minutes into the movie. I could tell she was off in another world, her mind racing with thoughts. These past two days have been so difficult for her and I felt awful for adding onto that. She stepped into a pair of shorts and hung her dress up on a hanger before walking into the bathroom and brushing her teeth. I followed her into the bathroom and looked at her through the mirror. She smiled a toothpaste filled smile and I couldn't help but smile back at her before sitting on the toilet.

 

"I'm sorry about that outburst," I said, "you've had a really hard few days and I shouldn't have added to that."

 

"It's fine," she replied after spitting out her toothpaste, "if I were you I probably would have done the same thing."

 

"No, it's not okay. I should have listened to you I just couldn't control myself."

 

"Justin please don't worry about it. Plus you're kind of sexy when you're mad." She straddled my lap after wiping her mouth dry.

 

"Don't you do this to me now girl, there are people in the other room."

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said softly right next to my ear so I could feel her breath on my skin.

 

"Marissa..."

 

"Justin..." she put her mouth on mine and her tongue ran over my lips. I moaned and wrapped my arms around her back pulling her closer to me in the process. Her mouth landed on my neck sucking gently, her tongue rolling on my skin. My hands went under her shirt rubbing her back while my head rolled back giving her more access. She reached down and grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulling it up over my head and ran her hands down my bare chest never letting her mouth leave my neck. I grabbed her ass and stood up walking quickly over to the bed and laid her down on the bed crawling on top of her. Her hands went to the button of my suit pants that I still hadn't changed out of while I pulled my T-Shirt that she had changed into off of her. She unzipped my pants and rubbed her hands down my chest before looping her thumbs in my pants and tugging them down. No sooner did I kick my pants off completely did everything make a turn for the worse.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK," Luke screamed from outside our door. I looked down at Marissa and she pulled me close to her.

 

"Don't you dare walk out on me Justin..." she whispered. I heard a door slam against the wall and Amy started yelling for Marissa. "Jesus Christ," she said getting up and putting the T-Shirt back on. I threw a pair of shorts that were on top of my suitcase on really quickly and didn't even bother to grab a shirt. I opened the door and saw Luke rolling around on the floor with what looked to be the guy who brought us our room service.

 

"What the fuck is going on here?" I said prompting them both to stop and look up. I heard a gasp come from behind me and I turned around to see Marissa kneeling on the floor with her hand over her mouth and her eyes glaring at the guy who was still unknown to me. "Marissa who is that..." She said nothing. "Who the fuck are you?" I asked looking at him. Nothing. "Marissa tell me who that is," I said again kneeling down next to her to be on her level. "MARISSA," I yelled.'

 

"It's him."
Chapter End Notes:
Dun Dun Dun....

Song Credit - Weezer - My Best Friend


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Story Tags: daddyj boyfriendj love proposal