Around lunchtime Marissa usually relieves me so that I can go out and get some work done. I'm usually in my office or in the studio with other artists for most of the day, but for the past month I've been filming a movie. Written in my contract for everything I do now is that I will be on break from 8pm to at least 11pm so that I can go home, put Brayden to bed with Marissa and spend some time with her, because if not we'd never see each other. Then around 11:00 just when Marissa goes to bed I'll either go back to what I was doing before or go downstairs and work on my album until the wee hours of the morning. Then the cycle begins again the next day and every now and then I add in an interview or film a commercial or something of that nature. Somehow I'm managing to keep everyone happy, get all my work done and still am able to function. When I do have to travel I'll try and arrange for my family to come with me, but sometimes it's just not possible. During those times I make sure that I'm not away for any more then a week so that I don't miss too much. I went from doing absolutely nothing except spending time with my family to being pulled in a million different directions again and going back onto a strict schedule, and even though at times it can be really stressful, I'm excited to be back into the swing of things.

Marissa has also been working non-stop. Needless to say Christina's album took off and was certified platinum after the first day, and not a day later Marissa's phone was ringing off the hook. She now has her own management team and publicist and has made her rounds on every daytime talk show there is. She's made a name for herself separate from me and that was the one thing she had hoped and prayed for to happen. Now when she's interviewed my name pops up only once or twice and it has nothing to do with her work. I am so proud of her, she jumped into the industry so fast and she's holding her head high and taking control of her life, instead of letting the people control her. She's worked with too many artists to name and has been successful with each and every song she's written. And to top it all off...she's happy. She's loving LA, she's loving her job, and she's loving her life, and at the end of the day when she comes home she's the same Marissa I fell in love with over two years ago. She'll kick off her heals and throw on one of my old t-shirts and just be Mama, I've never seen her smile so much or so big as she does when she's with Brayden. He is attached to her like white on rice, even though she's the strict one between the two of us, and she's taking on her role as mother like it was the challenge of a lifetime and succeeding every step of the way.

I took the day off since I would be leaving for a couple of days and Brayden and I were sitting on the floor playing with his miniature drum set while watching The Wiggles. Every so often he'd pick himself up with the help of the couch and shake his butt when a song came on that he really liked. It's true what they say; the kid really does take after me in every single way possible. It's kind of like having a mini me, and I've called my mother numerous times to apologize for the way I acted as a child because of it. He was quite a handful but no matter what he did my love for him never wavered.

Marissa was due home any minute, and everyone was coming to our place to watch the Grammy Nominations, and by everyone...I mean everyone. My parents were in town, and Trace and Amy flew in last week partially because Trace and I had business to discuss and partially because Amy begged him to go with him. Rachel was now living in our guesthouse with her new boyfriend who just happened to be Luke, we really are like one big dysfunctional family, and Christina was coming by with Jordan and her son Max. I heard the garage door open and keys get thrown on the kitchen counter and before I knew it Brayden was on all fours crawling as fast as he could over to Marissa screaming "MAMA, MAMA," at the top of his lungs.

"Hey buddy," she said bending down and picking him up once he got to her, "did you have fun with Daddy today?"

"Dada Dumb," he said unwrapping his arms from around her neck.

"I'm sorry did you just say Daddy's dumb?" she asked looking at me trying not to smile.

"Dada Dumb," he said again this time more confidently.

"He just called you dumb...your kid thinks you're dumb," she said now laughing.

"I believe he's trying to say drum...that would be D-R-U-M," I replied pointing to the mini drum set with the stick I was holding in my hand.

"Ohhhh," she said rubbing her nose against Brayden's, "I think I like dumb better though..." She walked over to where I was sitting on the floor and plopped down next to me putting Bray in her lap and kicking off her shoes, kissing my cheek in the process. "It was definitely funnier when he was calling you dumb."

"That's really nice thank you."

"You are very welcome, how was he today?"

"He was good. We chilled, ate some oatmeal and had some peaches for breakfast. We took a morning stroll around the neighborhood with the dogs, then came back and chilled on the floor for a while. You know how we roll...how was your day?"

"It was good," she said letting out a big breath, "I sat down with Johnny and tried to figure out a schedule that worked around yours because I'm going to have to travel a bit soon, and met with Kelly to talk about her next album and what direction she wants to go in. Both of them are coming over by the way for this Grammy party thing you insist on having."

"I insist because you are going to be nominated and people should be here to celebrate with you."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Timberlake...God Brayden you reek," she said picking him up and holding him out like a bomb that was about to explode, "tell Daddy to change you..."

"POOOOOOOOOOOP," he screamed laughing from his gut. The kid says very few words at this point but I'm convinced that poop is his favorite one. Every time he says it he laughs, and he'll randomly shout it out mostly at times when we're somewhere that it shouldn't be said, like the grocery store, a restaurant, or while we're being followed by a swarm of paparazzi.

"He is his father's son," she said handing him off to me and getting up to go change.

"We need to teach you new words Bray, these ones aren't cutting it," I said holding him away from me so that the stink bomb wouldn't be so close.

"POOOOOOOOOP!" I shook my head and couldn't help but laugh. He really was my son.

***

There were 13 people in the room, and besides the two children not one person was making any noise whenever nominees were announced. There was a good chance that four people in this room could be nominated for a Grammy, and even though I've never actually sat down and watched the nominations, this year I felt like I had to because I knew for sure Marissa would be nominated. After an hour and a half of categories that right now we weren't really interested in they finally started the ones we wanted to hear. Scarlett Johansen and Jamie Foxx were at the podium.

"The nominations for Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals are...Roseanne Cash & Bruce Springsteen "Sea of Heartbreak", Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz "Lucky", Norah Jones & Willie Nelson "Baby It's Cold Outside", Ciara & Justin Timberlake "Love, Sex, Magic," Marissa squealed and hit my leg, and I was kind of excited to hear my name called even though I knew that the possibility of winning was slim to none, "And Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat "Breathe." Everyone patted me on the back and said congratulations. It was still crazy to me that I was being nominated for Grammy's even though I've already won a handful. They continued to announce nominees in the Pop category and finally got to Best Pop Vocal Album, Christina was nominated for Stripped, and Kelly was nominated for All I Ever Wanted. Marissa worked on both albums and I could tell she was so proud for being a part of them. The last two nominations they did were for Song of the Year and Album of the Year. Christina and Kelly were yet again both nominated for album of the year, and all of us except for Marissa were on the edge of our seats for the last announcement. This was her category, she had worked on a number of hit songs this year and I knew at least one of them would be nominated. I looked over at her when they announced Paul McCartney and Janet Jackson to the stage to present and her thumbs were twirling a mile a minute, her eyes not moving from the television screen. Trace wrapped his arm around her shoulders and whispered something in her ear making her smile, and my mother linked her fingers with mine. I reached out for her hand with my free one and she grabbed onto it for dear life.

"Last but not least, the nominees for Song of the Year, "Poker Face" performed by Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga & RedOne songwriters, "You Belong With Me" performed by Taylor Swift, Liz Rose & Taylor Swift songwriters, Dead and Gone performed by T.I featuring Justin Timberlake, T.I & Justin Timberlake songwriters," she squeezed my hand and I got butterflies in my stomach knowing that I was probably going to be nominated against her, "'Fighter" performed by Christina Aguilera, Marissa Mitchell songwriter," the entire room erupted with cheering and Marissa's mouth dropped to the floor. I threw my arms around her and she whispered "Holy shit," in my ear. Then we heard something that we didn't expect.

"And finally the last nomination for Song of the Year is..."My Life Would Suck Without You" performed by Kelly Clarkson, Marissa Mitchell songwriter." It was then the tears started falling from her eyes. She was hugging me so tight she was cutting off circulation and it was getting harder to breathe. She finally let go as people started coming up to her and like the emotional messes they are she and my mother cried on each others shoulders like someone had just died. After they separated Luke ran up to her, picked her up off the ground and wrapped her up in a hug. After spinning her around a few times he put her down and wiped away a few access tears off of her face. I bent down and picked Brayden who was now at my feet up and watched the two best friends interaction. Luke had been there through everything, they've been friends even before Marissa knew Amy and he was her rock for close to 10 years now.

"Look what you did," he said to her.

"This is like...this isn't even real life right now..."

"It is totally real life right now. You just got nominated for a Grammy Marissa. A fucking Grammy, and you're nominated against yourself!" She just shook her head and started crying again. "I'm so proud of you," he said wrapping her up in another hug.

She buried her face in his shoulder and grabbed onto his shirt, "I wish he was here," she said after a few minutes.

"He is here...he's here and he's proud of you."

"I know but it's not the same...Our kids were suppose to grow up together and now Brayden will never know him, and I'm finally happy with my life and he's not even here to experience it with me. I'm nominated for a Grammy and the first thing I think of is how he's not here. I miss him so much Luke..."

"I do too Ris...I do too."

"MAMA!" Brayden yelled holding out his arms for her to take him. She looked up quickly, wiped the last of her tears away and put a happy face for him before taking him in her arms.

"And I bet this little guy is proud of his Mama too," Luke said.

"Oh he better be...Can you say love you to Uncle Luke Bray?"

"POOOOOOOOOOP!" The whole room stopped talking and erupted in laughter. We really had to work on new words because this one was getting quite embarrassing.

"He is his Papa's son," my mother said hugging me, "You're in for it Justin..."

***

The next two and a half months went by in no time. I had to travel for a few things and so did Marissa. We went to Tennessee for Christmas again and it was really exciting for me to show Brayden where his Daddy grew up. There were so many people that were excited to spend time with Brayden that it was almost like a break for me and Marissa. We celebrated at my Granny's this year, and Katie surprised us with news that she was 4 months pregnant. Finally a friend for Brayden. Katie and I were about a year and a half apart so there was going to be the same age difference between our kids. I was convinced she was having a girl, and it got to the point where we were planning there wedding.

Once we got back to LA after New Year's 2010 we were both back to work. Marissa was absolutely swamped to the point where she was now bringing things home from work to do while Brayden napped, and I was ready to pull what little hair I had on my head out. My birthday came and went, this year just having a small party at the house with close family and friends, and then the day after we had the most intense 1-year-old birthday party ever for Brayden. It turned into paparazzi palooza because other celebrity kids were invited so we ended up having to hire extra security and block off the street to anyone who didn't have an invitation. Marissa wanted to keep it small to avoid this, but my son was turning one and I've always been the one to throw huge parties. In the end she gave in and I ended up planning and running most of it because she wanted nothing to do with all the media hype it was getting. If I do say so myself I threw a damn good party for my kid. There were horses and bouncy houses, even The Wiggles came. Who would of thought I'd one day be excited over The Wiggles?

We finally had a chance to relax the day of the Grammy's. My mother came and picked up Brayden at 7 in the morning, and we had hair, makeup and wardrobe people come to the house instead of us going there. They were scheduled to get here at noon so once we said goodbye to Bray we both hopped back into bed and took in the silence.

"I just want to make sure that there will be no hard feelings tonight when I kick your ass and take home that Grammy," I said jokingly after about a half hour.

"What are you talking about? I want you to win..."

"Oh like you don't want to win a Grammy."

"I don't even know if I can handle winning a Grammy right now...like I can't even believe this is my life."

"After all this time..."

"This will never be real to me Justin, I still can't even believe I have a kid and he's already one."

"Well I can't believe that either." I had my arm around her waist and her back was against my chest. She locked her fingers with mine and pulled my hand up to her mouth kissing every one of my fingers.

"I talked to Rebecca yesterday...I'm going to go back home for the scholarship fundraiser next month for Frankie."

"Why don't we all go?"

"Aren't you traveling? I figured me and Bray would just go..."

"I'm supposed to be traveling but it's just something for the line so I can always postpone that, it's not hard to meet with Trace. I'd like to go back to Boston anyway, we haven't been back since we moved."

"I'd like that...I spoke to my sister too, we're going to get together since she hasn't even met Brayden yet."

Even though Marissa and her sister spoke every once and while they still weren't really that close. When we were living in Boston, Nicole was traveling a lot for work, and we left before she got back. "Are you okay Ris? You seem kind of down, and you should be really excited right now."

"I'm actually great to be honest with you. You know I never thought that I'd be happy just being content with everything in my life. I always thought that I'd need action, or excitement of some sort to stay happy, but I'm content Justin and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm content with being a working mom, and I love my job. I'm happy with where I'm living and the direction my life is going, and I'm content just lying here in your arms on probably one of the biggest days of my life. I'm finally sure of things. My mind isn't running a mile a minute anymore questioning everything that I do. I know for 100% fact that this is the way my life is supposed to be. There is no doubt in my mind that in 60 years I want to be in bed with you next to me lying just like this. So yes, everything is absolutely okay."

***

We pulled up to the Red Carpet at 7:00, which means we only had to spend an hour on it. The last step and repeat we were on Marissa was shaking the entire time, but this time was completely different. She was happy as a clam and totally comfortable taking pictures and doing interviews, not to mention she looked like absolute perfection in a custom red one shouldered Vera Wang gown. Our last interview was with Ryan Secrest and this time Marissa was actually excited about it. We walked up to him and she gave him a hug and a kiss and we chatted a little bit before the camera started rolling.

"Thanks G, we are down here with Justin Timberlake and Marissa Mitchell, both are nominated tonight and in a funny twist they are going head to head tonight in the song of the year category. How are you guys feeling tonight?"

"Great," we both said at the same time looking at each other and laughing.

"Marissa this is your first time here at the Grammy's, first of all who are you wearing, and how does it feel to be here...what are your thoughts on being nominated tonight?"

"I am wearing custom Vera Wang, and this feels absolutely incredible. This was the one awards show I watched religiously growing up, and I never in a million years thought I'd be able to go to the Grammy's never mind be nominated."

"Who do you thinks taking home the award tonight you or Justin?"

"You know what, I have to say Justin. I was fan of his work before anything else, and Dead and Gone is honestly one of my favorite songs of all time. He and Tip did an amazing job writing this song, and I have to say they definitely deserve it."

"And what about you Justin who do you think is taking it home?"

"She's nominated against herself man, it has to be her. Both songs she's nominated for are amazing songs but in different ways. Fighter is really an empowering song for women and I think is really inspirational to some people, and My Life Would Suck Without You is just a really fun love song that I think describes a lot of relationships, but both of them deserve to win."

"Will there be any hard feelings if one wins over the other?"

"He might have to sleep on the couch for a couple of days, but I'm sure I'll get over it," she said with a huge smile on her face that made my smile get even bigger.

"I think we're both just really proud of each other Ryan, and no matter who wins even if it's not one of us we're going to be happy for them. We're up against some really talented people and if I had any say we'd all win!"

"What are you plans for after the show, what after party will you two be hitting up?"

"We're going to go to a couple, but we'll be up at 6am with our kid in the morning so we won't be out too late," I replied.

"Speaking of your kid, how is he? We've seen a lot of pictures of you guys out and about, and we heard that he just had a big birthday party."

"He is great! He's walking and attempting to talk up a storm. He did just turn one and we had a party for him...I've never seen someone so excited about a bouncy house before until I saw Justin in it..."

"I'm a HUGE bouncy house advocate."

"Well congratulations to the both of you and good luck tonight, we'll be cheering you on."

"Thanks Ryan!"

"What's cookin' up top G?"

***

The Grammy's are like the who's who of the music industry, so even though it's really exciting to be there a lot of the time you end up working as well. The networking part was interesting this time around though because there were a ton of people Marissa has worked with that I really wanted to meet, and a ton of people that I've worked with that she really wanted to meet, so this year it was kind of fun. Our seats were in the front row, which means the camera is going to be in our face the whole time, and either one of us is going to win or they want us there for ratings. We were seated next to Christina and Jordan, and Kelly and her mom. This was also the first year that my mom didn't come with me, and I have to admit it felt kind of weird to be here without her. The smile on Marissa's face never left the entire 4 hours we were there. She was having the time of her life enjoying every performance and taking in the experience of actually being at the Grammy's. Christina performed and sounded absolutely incredible, and I did a surprise performance with TI that went off without a hitch. Christina was sweeping up awards left and right, and in a shocking twist I somehow won Best Pop Collaboration for Love, Sex, Magic. I can honestly say this was one award that I did not expect to win. Marissa jumped up when they announced my name and threw her arms around me whispering congratulations in my ear.

They usually save Album of the year for the last awards, but I'm assuming since they hyped up the fact that we were nominated against each other so much, they saved song of the year for last. Christina walked away with Album of the Year and instead of going back stage to do press she walked right back down the stairs and took her seat next to Marissa taking her hand in hers. Once they came back from commercial break Marissa tensed up, and had the look of utter fear in her eyes. I'm not sure if she was freaking out because she wanted to win so bad and would be really upset if she didn't, or if she was just deathly afraid to win and have to go accept an award. Stevie Wonder and Mariah Carey were introduced to present the award and I laced my fingers with hers. They were going back and forth about who was going to win, and if there would be a lovers quarrel if it was one of us when her foot started taping and I began to feel her thumb going back and forth over the top of my hand. I zoned out focusing solely on her while they announced the nominees. I can only imagine what we both looked like when the camera panned over to us while announcing our names. I snapped back to reality once the clapping stopped and I saw Mariah open the envelope. My eyes didn't leave Marissa because if she won I wanted to see every second of her reaction.

"And the winner is...it's a tie," my head shot over to the stage, "no I'm just kidding it's totally not a tie," Stevie laughed. The entire crowd joined in except Marissa whose eyes were glued to the envelope in Mariah's hand.

"The Grammy for Song of the Year 2010 goes too..."Fighter," performed by Christina Aguilera, and written by Marissa Mitchell!"

The only reason why I knew she heard her name announced was because her jaw dropped just slightly and her grip on my hand tightened. She just sat there, in complete and utter shock while the rest of us jumped up and started hugging each other. I knelt down and threw my hands around her neck kissing her cheek.

"Go get your fucking Grammy baby, you did it!"

I backed away and she just shook her head and put her hands over her mouth. After what was probably only 5 seconds but what seemed like 10 minutes she stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, "I can't do this..."

"Yes you can.  I love you so much, now go get what you deserve," I kissed her softly and put her hand that I was holding into Christina's and watched them walk up to the stage to accept the award. They held hands walking up the stairs probably due to the fact that Marissa was visibly shaking, and I watched her take her award out of the hands of one of my idols. She stepped up to the microphone and looked out at the crowd that was now on there feet. She was just standing there unable to comprehend that she had just won a Grammy.

After the crowd settled down she took a deep breath and looked down at me. I smiled and blew her a kiss, and she grabbed Christina's hand and finally started talking. "I don't even know what to say right now because I can't believe this is happening to me. I know that I'm going to forget to thank a million people because I'm not even sure if I know my name right now. First and foremost I have to thank Christina because without her singing that song it wouldn't be what it is today, and without her I would have never ever even started to get into the songwriting business. Ahhh I can't even think...to my management team, and to every other artist I've worked with, you have made my life what it is today and I am so grateful to you for that. To all of my friends that have supported me even before my life turned upside down Amy, Luke, Jen, and even Trace. To everyone who has done me wrong...you inspire me to work even harder and prove you wrong. To my baby at home...Brayden Mama loves you so much sweetie. To Justin...I would not be the person that I am today, the mother that I am today, or the friend that I am today without you. You make me, me. I love you so much and I am the happiest I've ever been in my entire life because of you, and none of this would have been possible without you. Thank you for pushing me incessantly to do this. I know I'm missing a ton of people, I'm sorry you all know who you are. This award is for you Frankie, I know you're watching over me, I love and miss you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone...THANK YOU!" She blew me a kiss and I watched her walk back stage with Christina in tow.

The host came out for one final joke and closed the show and I jumped out of my seat and ran backstage passing people that were trying to stop me without even taking a second glance. I managed to squeeze my way through the crowd of people and made my way over to where she was standing, talking to an interviewer with Christina, and the minute she saw me she stopped talking mid sentence and ran over to me jumping into my arms as if she weren't wearing a $20,000 dress. I spun her around a few times before putting her down and holding onto her face while I kissed her. "You just won a Grammy Marissa...you just won a fucking Grammy..."

"This isn't even my life..."

"It is so totally your life. I love you baby..."

"Justin, how does this feel for you? Are you upset you lost?" I heard the reporter that was just interviewing Marissa ask me from behind her.

"I don't think I would have been half as happy or proud if I won...she deserved it 100%. I am beyond proud of her."

"Where are you guys going to celebrate?"
"Everywhere!" I said grabbing her hand and Christina's and turning around to find the rest of our group. I've never seen a smile so big on Marissa's face, and after going to three after parties' and getting home at 3 in the morning, the smile was still there, and still huge.

She was wired and on the biggest high of her life so when we went to bed there was no way she was able to fall asleep. We stayed up and talked for three hours about everything under the sun until Brayden woke up, and we spent the entire day celebrating with him and our family. This was my life now. It was a routine and it was spent with the same few people everyday. I was no longer working crazy hours or going to a different continent just because I could, and I chose my friends wisely only trusting those who have proven themselves to me. Some people criticize me for this and claim that I'm not fun anymore and that I have no excitement in my life, and three years ago if you told me my life would be like this I would have said the same thing. But now actually living it, I've never been so happy and so content with my life. Now it has meaning, now I have something besides my music to live for.

***

FedEx dropped off our Grammy's a month later. We were both off that day because we had to pack to go back to Boston for a week for the fundraiser for Frankie's scholarship. Marissa had just gone to go take a nap and begged me to keep Brayden occupied for just an hour so that she could catch up on some sleep. Ever since she won the Grammy people have been calling her left and right to go on there talk show or do an interview and spread for there magazine. I opened the box that was addressed to the both of us; you would think that they'd come separately since the academy is a multi-billion dollar company but no. I put mine on the mantel next to the others and took Marissa's with me while I went to get Brayden dressed in a special outfit to deliver the Grammy to his Mommy.

"Let's go get you changed Brayden so that you can give Mama her special present..."

"I dressed Da."

"I know you're already dressed buddy but we have to put a special shirt on!"

"Mama sleep," he said as I pulled a new shirt over his head.

"I know, but you have to wake Mama up..."

"No, no," he shook his head a mile a minute, "No, Mama timeout. No timeout Da." He was coming along with his words, but clearly still couldn't form full sentences and refused to at least add another "da" on the end of the first one, even though he's been saying Dada since he was 9 months old.

"I promise Mama won't give you a timeout for waking her up, here," I said standing him up off the ground and putting the Grammy in his hand, "go give this to Mama and say surprise!"

"PRISE!" he yelled directly into my ear.

"Yes, just like that only to Mama not me!" I took his hand and we walked to the door of our bedroom. I turned the knob and let go of his hand.

"You too Da..."

"No just Brayden," I said watching him walk in further and I closed the door behind him wanting to hear her reaction before seeing it. I stood outside the door waiting, and I could hear Brayden struggling to climb on the bed.

"PRISE MAMA!" he screamed about a minute later, and I could hear Marissa physically jump up.

"Jeez Brayden! What did Mama tell you about waking her up?"

"Da say no timeout...PRISE!"

I heard her gasp, "My Grammy!" and then she shuffled over to the light and turning it on and she read the inscription out loud.

"Prise shirt Mama," Brayden said as I heard the bed creek a bit when she sat back down. I heard her gasp again...

"JUSTIN?!..."