Author's Chapter Notes:

Almost done Folks, only one chapter left after this one :)  Enjoy, let me know what you think!

You know it should be easy for a man who's strong
To say he's sorry or admit when he's wrong
I've never lost anything I've ever missed
But I've never been in love like this
  

So I was completely freaking out about Jayme seeing pictures or reading stories from that night at the club.  I mean, she would most likely assume that I was up to my usual ways and that I’d picked up that chick and taken her back to my place.  I guess the only wrong part of that assumption would be that I took her back, but Jayme would have every right to believe I’d had sex with that girl.  It would’ve been pretty damn difficult for me to change her mind, too.  I mean, I do have a reputation and it’s not too far off from the truth. 

So now my dilemma was figuring out what to do.  I could call Jayme up and tell her, but then she might think that I was telling her first because I had a guilty conscience.  I could let it go and act like nothing had happened, but then she would think that I’d been hiding it.  Either way, it looked like I was screwed.   

You know, it’s pretty fucked up that I’ve been ‘screwed’ more times than one during this narration and none of it has involved lubrication or penetration.  Pathetic. 

I asked my mom and she told me to be honest.  Typical response.  She said that I would feel better knowing I told the truth and that no matter what Jayme thought about the situation or what I’d told her, there would be no lies to cover up or remember later on.  She did have a pretty good point. 

Trace wasn’t so easy to get advice out of.  He was enjoying watching me squirm with this one, his way of saying “I told you so” without actually saying the words.  I might have had to punch him in the face if he said that to me.  Fucker. 

I paced the kitchen with a scowl on my face and my fists clenched.  The tabloids had printed lots of incriminating pictures of me and that dancer, and it looks anything but innocent.  I had just hung up the phone with my mom and now I was trying to figure out what the best course of action would be.

 

“Will you sit the fuck down? You’re starting to make me sea sick.”  I throw a dirty look in Trace’s direction but sit down anyway.  It was starting to make me dizzy.

 

“I don’t know what to do about this, Trace.”

 

“Why the fuck do you care anyway?  I mean, it’s not like you’re with the chick or anything.”  He starts to peel the label off of his beer bottle, flinging little pieces of paper at me.

 

“I don’t know, maybe because I don’t want Jayme pissed off at me?”  I defend myself against the barrage of paper pieces before snatching the bottle and throwing it in the trash.  Little prick has the audacity to look upset too.  Hello?  I’m in a crisis here.

 

“Justin, you don’t owe Jayme anything.  She’s out of town and you have every right to go out and have some fun if you want.  Nothing happened anyway.  I don’t know why you’re letting this upset you so much.  It’s actually starting to piss me off.”

 

OK, that did it.

 

“You’re such an asshole, Trace.  Really.”  He scoffs at me and tries to get up but I shove him back into his seat.  “No, you’re going to listen.  Jayme is the first girl in years that I’ve actually enjoyed myself with for other reasons than sex.  She’s the first girl that’s turned me down for my money and fame.  She wants to know me.  ME, Justin from Tennessee, not the arrogant pop star.  I like being around her, I like spending time with her.  So fuck you, if you don’t like it.  I’m sorry that I’m worried and it’s pissing you off.  If you don’t like it, the get the fuck out of my house.”

 

He sits there with a shocked look on his face for a second before storming out of the house and peeling out of my driveway.  Fucker better not have left skid marks.

 

Shit, now I’m all alone and I still don’t know what do to about Jayme.

 

After sitting at the kitchen table for what seems like hours I decide to get up and play some basketball.  That usually clears my head.

 

I jump when my phone rings.  Totally wasn’t expecting that.  Shit, it’s Jayme.

 

I debate on whether or not to answer and decide that it would be bad if I hung up.  She may have seen the tabloids and I want to explain myself and not let her make up her own mind without hearing my side.

 

“Talk to me.”  I have to sound cool when I answer. …and saying that makes me sound lame.

 

“Nice greeting.  It’s Jayme.”  She sounds amused; I guess that’s a good sign.

 

“Hey hot stuff how’s New York?”  I sit back down and decide that basketball is out of the question right now.  This conversation is more important at the moment.  Wow, never thought I’d be saying that.

 

“Eh, it’s OK.  Stuffy old men in expensive suits that all think it’s OK to undress me with their eyes.  The usual.”  I picture Jayme in one of those women’s dress suit things and I find myself getting hard.  I’ll be she looks fucking hot dressed up in those.

 

“Well, you are beautiful, I can’t blame them for appreciating your beauty.”  That was a good line, if I do say so myself.

 

“You sure know how to flatter a lady, Justin.”  She giggles and I find myself smiling along with her.  I think I could really like this chick.

 

“Hey…I’ve got something to tell you.”  Well, there’s no turning back now.  I swallow the lump in my throat and wait for her to respond before I continue.

 

“OK, what’s up?”  She sounds so damn trusting.

 

“Well, it’s some not-so-good news.”  Brace her for the worst, Timberlake.  “I went out to a club with Trace the other night and I was dancing with a girl I met there.  We were both pretty drunk and I know that the paps got some pictures of the two of us in not so flattering poses.  Nothing happened, I swear, but it doesn’t look good in print.”

 

There’s a pause on her end of the line and I find myself sweating as I wait.  Wow, the only other woman that can make me anticipate a response like this is my mother.

 

“I know.”  She says simply.  Know what?  You know that I didn’t do anything? Or you know that there are pictures out?  Shit, girl, you’re gonna give me a heart attack.

 

“You know?”  My voice cracks and I wince.  I sound like a twelve-year-old.

 

“I was watching some mindless entertainment show this morning and there was a story on it.”  She doesn’t say anything else and I’m really starting to panic.  I can’t read the tone of her voice and I’m so terrified that this is it.  I haven’t even had a chance to actually be with this girl and it could already be over.

 

After a few moments of silence I can’t take it anymore, I have to say something.

 

“I’m sorry, Jayme.  I swear that nothing happened though, we were just dancing.”  I haven’t said words like that to a female in a very long time, and it startles me a little that I’m so comfortable with it.  I get confused when I hear a giggle on her end of the line.

 

“Don’t apologize, JT.  You’re not attached to me, you can do whatever you want.”  She pauses for a second and I know there’s a ‘but’ coming.  “It does make me feel better to hear you say nothing happened, though.”

 

I can hear the smile in her voice and for the first time since this conversation started I can feel myself relax.

 

“I have some good news for ya, well, it’s good depending on how much you like me.”  I laugh and wait for her to explain.  “I get to come home early.  One of our conferences got cancelled so I’m coming home at the end of this week.”

 

I find myself grinning like an idiot and it suddenly hits me that this is turning into way more than I ever expected it to be.  Funnily enough, I’m OK with that.  I like Jayme and I can see myself letting my guard down a little bit.  I may have done that already.

 

“Of course that’s good news.  When does your plane land, I’ll come get you.”  I can’t believe I just offered that.

 

“You don’t have to do that, JT.  I don’t want you to get mobbed or anything.  How about I come over your place after I get in?”  She sounds just as excited as I feel.

 

“That sounds wonderful.”  We hang up shortly after that and I find myself feeling lighter and happier than I have in a long time.

 

 It was a strange thing for me to feel like that about a girl.  I hadn’t allowed myself to get attached to anyone in a long time.  Jayme made me want to feel again, though.  She was different, and I really liked that. 

I liked that she didn’t put up with my shit, and I thought it was incredible that she wasn’t fazed at all by my fame and money.  Jayme had her own life set up and she wasn’t looking for handouts from anyone.  I liked that she didn’t need me but she still chose to spend time with me.  The girl was funny, too.   

After that phone conversation I found myself anticipating her return to LA.  I turned down any plans Trace had to go out and get drunk.  He made some asshole comment about being pussy whipped except I was the pussy.  I threw him out of my house for that one, and then I started thinking. 

Things really had changed this time, and I was enjoying it.  I found myself wanting to get into something deeper with Jayme.  I wanted to get to know her better and I wanted her to know me better.  I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, and that thought should have scared me, but it didn’t.  She brought out the old Justin, the southern gentleman and cheesy guy that I’d repressed over the years.  My mom was ecstatic, and I was happy that she was finally pleased with a choice that I had made concerning women. 

Shit, this needs to end soon, I sound like a woman more and more. 

Jayme comes home today and I think I could pee my pants with excitement.  And now that I’ve said that I wish Trace were here to hit me for it.

 

I’ve spent the day cleaning up my house and making things look nice, and it was damn hard work too.  I just want her to be comfortable.  I am so fucking whipped, it’s not even funny.

 

She called me about forty minutes ago and said she should be over in about an hour.  I’ve decided that I’m going to attempt to cook her dinner.  This will probably be dangerous.

 

I’ve got the grill going and I don’t think that will be too bad, but I’m also attempting to make mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.  I’ve called my mom a dozen times and she’s coached me as best she can,  but I’m still wary.  The corn is finished, it was too difficult.  The potatoes look a little lumpy and I may have added too much salt. 

 

This might have been a bad idea.

 

The steaks are done and they look good, I wasn’t too worried about those.  It’s all the other culinary shit that’s got me sweating.

 

Shit, that was the door bell.

 

I rush over and get the door so she’s not waiting long, but when she starts laughing at the site of me I realize that I should’ve taken off the frilly apron I’d thrown on.

 

“Hey you.”  I grin widely through my embarrassment and she smiles back.

 

“Hey JT.  Something smells good.”  I lead her back into the kitchen and she looks surprised to see everything set up.  I wanted to make this good.

 

“I attempted to cook.”  I get a shocked look and a smirk.

 

“Should I be worried?”  She heads over to the stove and takes a peak in the pot of mashed potatoes.  “It looks edible.”

 

“I had my mom coach me through it.  If it turns out to be really shitty I’ve got a Chinese place on speed dial.”  She laughs at that and I’m really glad that I decided to do this.

 

A little while later we’re seated at the table I’d set with candles and flowers (I do know how to be romantic).  The food isn’t that bad and she seems to be enjoying herself.

 

“So Jayme, I’ve got a confession to make.”  I’ve decided that I should be honest with her, and I really want her to know how I feel.

 

“You didn’t make the dinner?” 

 

“Ha ha.  No, that’s not it.”  I shift a bit in my chair and hope I don’t mess this up by saying something stupid.  “I was looking for another conquest when I first met you.”

 

She interrupts me with a giggle and I’m almost offended.

 

“You think that’s news to me, JT?”  I hold my hand up to stop her.

 

“I know you’d probably figured that out, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.”  I take a deep breath and continue.  “I guess…I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’ve made me different.  I didn’t want anything but sex from you at first, but after getting to know you, I don’t want that anymore.  I want…I want an us.”

 

That’s the closest thing to a girly confession that I’ve ever made and I’m really glad when she doesn’t laugh at me.  Instead she comes over to me and sits on my lap, giving me a peck on the cheek.

 

“I never expected anything more from you either, but I’m glad that I was wrong.”

 

‘You’re really not going to try and out do that little speech, are you?”  I have to say something to break the seriousness of the moment.  It works, she laughs.

 

“No, I’m not.”  I stop whatever else she’s going to say by giving her a deep and thorough kiss.

 

I guess change isn’t such a bad thing after all.

 


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Story Tags: boyfriendj