One day after the trial JC went again to his therapist Dr. Meyers. He had the feeling he needed to talk to someone about what happened there.

Dr. Meyers: So Mr. Chasez, you called me for an urgent term. What happened the last days? What do you like to talk about?

JC: Um... yesterday was the trial... and I really needed to talk to you about it...

Dr. Meyers: Ok, so where do you want to start? Maybe with the summons. How did you feel when you got it?

JC: I felt... sad. Really sad... seeing him there, and knowing that he was going to jail... three years and six months...

Dr. Meyers: You still have strong feelings for him?

JC: Yes... yeah, I do... I will always have them.

Dr. Meyers: What were your thoughts and feelings when you entered the courthouse?

JC: When I entered the courthouse, I thought about lying to protect Justin, but... I promised Lance I wouldn't do it, so... I was really scared. I was scared of not seeing him again in many years, I was scared of losing him, and I was scared of him being mad at me because I testified against him...

Dr. Meyers: So you want to come back with Justin?

JC: I honestly don't know... I mean, after all he did... I found out what really happened between him and Britney, and what he did to Lance was just... it was too much. I don't know if I want to come back to him...

Dr. Meyers: But you are afraid you could lose him…

JC: Yeah, that's why I don't know if I want to come back to him. I don't want to lose him, but I'm not sure if I'll come back to him after he comes out of jail... I just can't think clearly about it yet...

Dr. Meyers: Ok. Maybe we start from the beginning. What happened when you entered the auditorium and what were you thinking?

JC: I was really nervous. I didn't want to look at Justin, 'cause if I did, I wouldn't be able to testify against him... I tried not to look at him, but then his lawyer asked me if I was still in love with him... I looked at him then, and he had these... sparkles in his eyes... I couldn't lie...

Dr. Meyers: Did you want to lie?

JC: In one hand, yes. I wanted to lie so he'd stop trying to apologize to me, and I could have some time to think about everything. But in the other hand, I wanted to say the truth. I even wanted to go to Justin and kiss him so his lawyer wouldn't have to ask me if I had feeling for him again...

Dr. Meyers:  If Justin would stand right in front of you. What would you like to tell him?

JC: (Stays silent for a moment) First, I'd want to ask him why he did that to Lance. Why did he have to get to that point just so he could tell me to come back to him? I'd like to tell him that... I love him, no matter what. But I think that, if I had him right in front of me, I wouldn't tell him anything. I would just hug him, as tightly as I could.

Dr. Meyers: Anything else you’d like to tell him? Any questions you want to get answered?

JC: Well... I was... (Clears throat) I was thinking of marrying him...

Dr. Meyers: Before you had this threesome relationship?

JC: Yes, I started thinking it before we had the threesome relationship, but I was totally sure about it when he decided to stay with me. Before... before I found her panties on his bed...

Dr. Meyers: And now? Would you still marry him?

JC: I don't know... I really want to marry him, but... things got really complicated after what happened...

Dr. Meyers: Maybe we should try a little roleplaying game. Imagine I am Justin and I came out of jail. How would you start talking to me?

JC: Um... I don't know, doc... I don't know what I would say to him...

Dr. Meyers: Ok, I start. And I am Justin now. Try to imagine that. Hello JC, it’s been a long time we have seen each other.

JC: Yeah... three years... How have you been in there, Just?

Dr. Meyers: It was hard. I missed you.

JC: I missed you, too... have you got any problems in there?

Dr. Meyers: Just the typical stuff. People chagrin, they thrash. I tried to stay out of this as best as I could.

JC: Hey, Just, um... I wanted to ask you something... about what happened three years ago...

Dr. Meyers: Ehmm… sure… what do you want to ask?

JC: I know what really happened between you and Britney... I found out a long time ago... why did you lie to me?

Dr. Meyers: See… I was afraid to lose you. I’m sorry that I lied, but I had the feeling I couldn’t live without you.

JC: And why did you do that to Lance? How did you reach that point?

Dr. Meyers: I didn’t know what went through my mind this time. I guess… I thought I’ve lost you and I went crazy without you.

JC: (Gets tears in his eyes) Doc, can we... can we stop this game? Please...

Dr. Meyers: Sure. Do you want to tell me what is going on in your mind right now?

JC: (Wipes tears away) I just... I just can't stop thinking of what he did... it brings me down every time...

Dr. Meyers: (hands blow rag) Do you want to stop or do you want to go on?

JC: (Takes the blow rag, thanking her) I don't want to go on with the game, at least...

Dr. Meyers: So anything else that bothers you? Anything you want to talk about?

JC: The fact that, if he doesn't change his behavior after he goes out of jail, I won't marry him... I always wanted to...

Dr. Meyers: What shall he change?

JC: His aggressiveness... I mean, towards Lance... he has to change it... if he goes out of jail, and still hates Lance so much that he'd beat him up again, then... I'll leave him.

Dr. Meyers: So you wouldn’t try to date other men until he comes out of jail?

JC: I... I thought of doing it... I told Lance I'd try to date other men until Justin comes out of jail, so I'll try...

Dr. Meyers: What if you fall in love with the one you dated and Justin comes out of jail?

JC: I think... that I'd talk to Justin first, to know if he changed his mind... and if he did, then I'd stay with him, 'cause my love for him is just too strong to leave him for another guy.

Dr. Meyers: Back to Justin. What if he changes in a way you don’t like? What if he isn’t the same person anymore? That happens often in jail.

JC: I know... and I think I'd try to talk to him and know the reasons why he isn't the same person anymore... and if he still doesn't change... I'll have to leave him...

Dr. Meyers: And when he changed and is also another person? Maybe too much in the way you wanted.

JC: Well... as I said, I'd try to talk to him and know why he changed...

Dr. Meyers: If he changed for you?

JC: If he decided to change for me? I guess I'd appreciate it, but I won't if he changed, as you said, too much in the way I wanted. I want the old Justin back. I don't want any other Justin, just the one I fell in love with.

Dr. Meyers: Would you leave him, even if he changed just for you in a way you dislike?

JC: No, I just would try to explain to him what I want. That I want him the way I always liked him. And if he understands and try to change again, well. If he doesn't... then yes, I'd leave him.

Dr. Meyers: Did you ever think of changing for Justin?

JC: No. He always told me not to do it.

Dr. Meyers: And when he wants you to change now?

JC: If it's in a good way, and I like the way he wants me to change, then I'll do it. If it's not, then I'll completely refuse.

Dr. Meyers:  What is a good way to change?

JC: I mean, if I'm doing something that he doesn't like me doing and it's not a thing that I use to do, and if he asks me to change that, then I'll do it, you know? I don't know how to explain it... I mean, a good way to change me like not telling me what or what not to do every time... I can't explain it, doc...

Dr. Meyers:  its ok, Mr. Chasez. I know what you try to explain. Other topic, how do you want to date someone else, when your heart still loves someone else?

JC: Good question... (Stays silent for a moment) I guess I'll try to keep Justin away in my mind while he's in jail... and try to meet other men and date someone else...

Dr. Meyers: Can you do that? Or would you compare all men with Justin?

JC: No one will ever be like Justin to me. It doesn't matter if I fall in love with another man... he'll never be like Justin. And you asked if I can do that? I'll try... I'll try the best I can... I'm not saying it's going to be easy, or that it's going to be soon... but I'll try.

Dr. Meyers: Last question for today: How would you react when the man you dated act the same as Justin did?

JC: Leave him. I wouldn't think it twice. I'd leave him immediately. If I find other man that acts like him too, then I'd stay alone.

Dr. Meyers: Maybe you should visit Justin in jail when you feel ready for it. Maybe it will help you.

JC: You really think so, doc?

Dr. Meyers: I can’t tell you what to do. I just think it would help to get over your past. But you have to wait until you feel ready to get over it. Otherwise it would hurt you too much.

JC: Ok, I'll visit him. I just wanna get over this already...

Dr. Meyers: You understood me wrong. You have to be over this. You have to talk to me over everything without abandon anything. When you can do this, you are ready. Think about it. Have a nice day.

JC: Thanks, doc. You too.