“You awake over there?”

Casey blinked and rubbed her eyes. “Sorta.” She was curled up one end of the lounge's wraparound couch with Jasmine sprawled out on the other end.

When she’d first gotten on the bus after the show, she couldn’t sleep. She turned on a movie in the lounge and Jasmine had joined her. They were onto movie number two with three hours left on the road, and Casey was doing a lot of dozing off and on.

After five nights of shows in five different cities, she was beyond worn out. They had two more shows to be followed by four blissful days off. In the meantime, she was exhausted but suffering from an annoying case of insomnia. Her head would hit the pillow, and all she could manage was a few broken hours. She hoped to catch up on her sleep during the upcoming break.

“Why are you still awake?” Casey asked her friend.

“Eh.” Jasmine shrugged. “Too much caffeine yesterday. Besides, whenever we get to...where are we going again?”

“San Diego, maybe?”

“Yeah,” Jasmine continued. “Whenever we get to San Diego, I get to sleep for another few hours before soundcheck. You don’t have that luxury.”

Casey snorted and mumbled something under her breath. It was true; sleep wasn’t going to be happening for her until sometime after that evening’s show. She had an interview and photo shoot scheduled for seven that morning.

“So since we’re both awake, can I ask you something?” Jasmine stared at her expectantly.

Feeling a little wary, Casey nodded slowly. “Sure…”

“I thought you said it was official now?”

“What was?”

“You and JC.”

With slight wariness giving way to deeper anxiety, Casey picked at one of her nails, not looking up at her friend. “It is.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Where else am I supposed to be?” She glanced at Jasmine, brow furrowed.

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe on the bus with your boyfriend...like he asked you to be." Jasmine stared at her pointedly.

"We’re pulling out in fifteen," Christoff says, passing by Casey in the hallway backstage.

She mock-salutes him and grabs her bag from the corner where it sits. As she slings it over her shoulder, she feels someone step up behind her.

“Hey, you.”

She smiles and turns around to see JC.

He pulls her in for a hug and brushes a quick kiss across her lips.

“Hey back.” She grins up at him. "I figured you'd already be passed out on your bus.”

"I plan to be very shortly," he says with a laugh. "Why don't you come pass out with me?"

"Like...on your bus?" She hopes he isn't offended by the note of incredulity that she's sure has crept into her voice.

JC chuckles again. "Like...yeah? We’ll stretch out in the lounge."

He's staring at her, looking slightly amused and she's staring back, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"I...uh..." She's stammering, trying to form a coherent response. "Um...I'm sure Chris and J don't want me on the bus with you guys. You've already got a lot of...people there." She stops, knowing that sounds as lame to him as it does to her.

JC's eyebrows raise slightly. "Chris and Justin don't care, Case. You know that."

As she opens her mouth to reply, Mike comes up to them, completely oblivious to the conversation taking place. "Casey, can I borrow a pair of headphones? These have a short." He holds up a pair of earbuds.

Casey glances at JC before turning to him. "Yeah, sure. I'll, uh...I’ll be on the bus in a sec."

"You're a life-saver! Thanks." He rushes off down the hall.

"So, um, I'm going to grab those headphones for him. And, uh...I’ll see you at the hotel later," Casey says as she turns back to JC. She won't quite meet his eyes as she adjusts the strap of her messenger bag.

JC nods slowly. "OK, Case. I'll see you later then."

She raises on the balls of her feet to kiss his cheek. "Later." With that, she turns around to head for the door.

"You heard that?" Casey asked in a small voice.

"Yep.” When her friend didn’t reply she continued. “I heard about Tony’s interview, too.”

Casey groaned and covered her face with one hand as Jasmine continued to stare at her. “Of course you did,” she mumbled sarcastically.

“So is that why you wouldn’t ride the bus with JC?”

“I don’t need to ride the bus with JC. I have my own bus. And besides, I’ll see him again as soon as we stop. We share a hotel room now, remember?”

Even without seeing the expression on Jasmine’s face, she knew exactly how the words sounded coming out of her mouth. And she also knew that it was part of the reason for her sudden bout of insomnia.

Casey sat up, wrapping her arms around her bent knees. “Jazz, we’ll roll up to the hotel and even though it’s going to be like, five in the morning, there will be a group of *NSYNC fans. Like always.

“And when I get off the bus with JC, Justin, and Chris, someone is going to take a picture of that and it just…” She groaned again. “How’s that going to look?”

"You mean because of what Tony said?"

“I mean because of what it’ll look like.”

Jasmine raised her arms overhead and stretched before sinking further into the cushions of the couch. “Um...it’ll look like you’re JC’s girlfriend.”

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, Jazz.”

“You don’t think being JC Chasez’s girlfriend is a big deal?” Jasmine stared back at her wide-eyed.

“Not if,” Casey began slowly, “no one knows. And for now, no one needs to know.”

“You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

Casey rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything.

“Besides, some people already know,” Jasmine pointed out.

“I’m not talking about like, you guys. Yeah, our friends and family know. But we’re not going to make it public knowledge is what I’m saying.”

“You really think that’ll work?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Things have a way of getting out. Wouldn’t it be better if you were the one in control of how that happens?”

“It won’t,” Casey said resolutely.

“OK...maybe not. But what about JC?”

Casey narrowed her eyes. “What about him?”

“I’m not trying to overstep my bounds here, Case, but...I watched his face when you walked away from him backstage earlier. And you’ve been really…” Jasmine stopped and sighed.

Fighting the urge to defend herself, Casey took a deep breath. “I’ve been really what? Just say it, Jazz.”

“Casey, I know you well enough to know that you really like him. But you’re kind of hot and cold sometimes. Just...don’t let Tony mess up the really good thing you have going now, OK? That’s all I’m saying.”

Jasmine shrugged and turned back to the TV, leaving Casey to fume silently.

***

Casey bounced when JC landed on the bed next to her.  “I’m so tired,” she groaned.

“Go to sleep,” he mumbled from his position face down on the bed.

She flopped onto her back and covered her face with her arm. “I have a photo shoot in less than two hours. If I sleep now I’m going to wake up feeling worse.”

It was after 5AM when the buses let them out in front of their San Diego hotel. Despite the early hour, a few particularly zealous fans were waiting and *NSYNC, along with Casey, graciously signed autographs and chatted for a few minutes before security hustled them inside.

When she groaned again, he turned to his side and looked at her. “So you’ll just keep making that noise so I can’t sleep either?” He cracked a smile when she frowned at him.

“Turn over.” He pushed her gently until she moved to her stomach. Propping himself up on his side with his head against his fist, he used his other hand to begin a light massage of her back. “Close your eyes for a little while.”

“Mmm...that feels magical.” She sighed and shifted a little closer to him. “Aren’t you tired, though?”

“I can go to sleep when you leave,” he said softly. “Shhh…”

For several moments there was almost complete silence; every so often Casey let out a sigh of contentment. JC stared down at her, his hands working over the muscles of her back and shoulders.

Asking her to ride the bus was an impulse decision. Five straight nights of shows in five different cities meant they hadn’t spent much time together. When he wrapped her up into a hug backstage, he decided he wanted to stay wrapped up with her for a least a few more hours before they got to the next destination. But when the question came out of his mouth, she looked back at him like the deer caught in the proverbial headlights.

“Case, if Tony hadn’t...” His voice was quiet and tentative. "Is that interview the reason you wouldn’t ride the bus with me last night?"

She inhaled and exhaled slowly for several breaths before turning over to look at him. “Neither Tony nor that interview have anything to do with why I didn't ride your bus last night."

Though he wouldn't have sworn on it, he was pretty sure she was lying. He kept the thought to himself.

"I don't think about Tony when I'm with you, JC,” she continued. “And I don't want to."

His eyes peered into hers and in that moment, he wished he knew what she was thinking; her expression gave him no clues.

Then her hand was creeping beneath the bottom of his shirt, and one of her legs was tossed over his. Putting her weight on her other arm, she angled her upper body across his and nuzzled her nose against his neck.

"If we’re both going to be awake, I can think of a better use of our time.”

Casey’s nuzzling turned to kisses along his jawline and JC closed his eyes. As he rolled her onto her back, he once again ignored that quiet voice that was getting louder by the day. His mouth claimed hers and soon enough, her body moving beneath his was the only thought on his mind.

***

"Ok, Mom. I'll talk to you soon. Love you, too." JC ended the call and flipped his phone shut before setting it on the table in front of him.

It was a little after nine in the morning and the entourage of buses was halfway through the two hour drive from San Diego to Inglewood; JC was eagerly looking forward to the last show of a six night streak.

Chris came into the bus kitchenette and plopped onto the bench across from him. He dug an orange out of the bowl on the table and began peeling it, placing the pieces of rind on the tabletop. "So." He glanced up at JC and went back to his orange.

JC nodded slowly, a small smile on his lips. "So." He knew his friend well enough that whatever it was he had to say--and clearly there was something--would be said when he was good and ready. He didn't wait long.

"So I hear you and the up and coming princess of R&B are sharing a room now, huh? Officially. "

JC snickered; there were no such things as secrets on a tour. "Princess of R&B?"

"That's what Vibe called her last month." Chris shrugged. "It's got a certain ring to it, don't you think?"

"I guess it does." JC chuckled again and began jigging his leg up and down.

"So you're officially official? I assume that was your doing." Chris tossed an orange slice into his mouth.

JC opened his mouth to answer, then closed it. Raising an eyebrow he said, "Why do you assume that?"

Chris finished chewing and swallowing, and shrugged again. "You're usually pretty straight forward about what you want. Casey's...not. Now that you're not pretending to hate her I just figured you'd be the one to take things to the next level first."

JC drummed his fingers on the table in concert with his still bouncing leg. He was quiet for a moment, considering Chris's words. "I never hated her," he said finally.

The older man rolled his eyes impatiently. "That's why I said pretending. We all knew you never hated her." He ate another orange slice before continuing.

There it was again; someone mentioning what he thought of Casey, before. JC racked his brain trying to figure out what others saw that he couldn't. He spent so much time actively avoiding her when Tony was around, that when the guy was gone he continued to do it out of habit.

"Dude, what do you mean you knew I didn't hate her? Justin said the same thing. And Casey mentioned how no one seems surprised that we're spending time together. What am I missing?"

Chris snorted. "You're serious, aren't you?"

JC. "Yeah! I mean, I stayed away when she was around, in the beginning. And she all but ignored me. So how could anyone think anything was there between us?"

"Do you remember the first night she was on the road with us?"

Blushing a little bit, JC nodded. "Yeah."

"Yeah. We all watched her show and I kept looking over at you. Dude, you were so obvious. You had this stupid ass little smile on your face while you watched her. It was kinda pathetic, actually."

JC picked up a piece of Chris’s orange rind and chucked it at him.

Chris tsked. “And you’re supposed to be the mature one.”

JC remembered that night clearly. He’d been mesmerized by Casey’s onstage presence and her talent. She'd come running offstage and the other guys, as well as various members of the crew, were congratulating her and her dancers on her first show. Joey picked her up and swung her around, while JC had stood back away from everyone. Her eyes met his, for just the briefest moment, and then Tony was right there again. He never got a chance to tell her how much he enjoyed her performance.

"You were moody as shit that night, later. And for that matter, you were moody as shit whenever you'd been around her or you knew we had." Chris shook his head and pulled the last slices of orange apart. "And Casey...she was almost as annoying as you."

JC straightened in his chair. "What do you mean?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Why does JC haaaate meeee?" he whined in a high-pitched voice. "I just want him to loooove meeee."

JC laughed. "She never said that, Man."

"Close enough." Chris chuckled. "Especially after Tony was gone. Whenever we'd go out she'd play it off all nonchalantly. 'Is JC coming too?' Like she didn't care that much. And whenever you didn't, which was most of the time, she'd get pissy."

It was funny now, JC thought, knowing that she’d had a crush on him then.

"Lance told me that you saw Tony get rough with her one night. He was shaking her?" Chris straightened in his chair and looked at his friend expectantly.

"Yeah, but she says it wasn’t a big deal.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Abuse isn’t a big deal?

Not answering the question, JC clenched his jaw for a moment and looked down. “He did this interview last week. Some radio station in Detroit." He looked up at his friend and shook his head. “He trashed her right on air. Basically said she broke up with him and that he was let go from the tour because she was sleeping with Justin.”

Chris’s eyes widened. "He said that?"

"More or less."

"What'd she say?"

JC rolled his eyes. "Same thing she always says when it's about Tony. Not a damn thing. She's fine. Everything's fine. Whatever." He threw his hands up in frustration.

"And," Chris began slowly, "you don't believe that?"

"Things have been good lately. She's been pretty relaxed about us and everything. And then she hears that interview and now she's back to 'maybe we should keep this thing between us quiet' and it's just..." JC sighed and shook his head.

"Tony--and whatever the hell happened in that hotel room--is this big, dark storm cloud hovering over her. I don’t know what she needs to do to get past it, but what she’s doing now isn’t working.” He viciously raked his fingers through his hair. "But...”

A small, mirthless laugh escaped JC’s lips. “I like her, Man. A lot. But I’m just afraid--” He stopped abruptly and rubbed his hands over his face.

What are you afraid of, ‘C?”

“We’ve got a little over three months left on this tour, and if she just needs time and space to...I don’t know, to figure shit out….that’s fine. I can give her that.” JC’s voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper. “I just don’t want to find out that at the end of it all, I was just a distraction for her.”

"You more than like her, don’t you?" Chris said softly, casting his friend a pointed look.

JC averted his eyes and began spinning his phone around the table, but he said nothing.