"Mmmm,” JC sighed languidly. “That was a good way to start the day.”

In the beginning of their relationship Casey had once told him that she didn't generally like sex first thing in the morning; he'd made it a point to enthusiastically try and change her mind as the months went by. He'd been, he thought with a grin, pretty successful.

With labored breathing, she mumbled something incoherently, keeping her face pressed to the pillow beneath her.

"What was that?” He squeezed her hip with one hand while simultaneously sliding the other from between her legs. Placing a soft kiss between her shoulder blades, he rolled off of her and onto his back.  “Come on, mama, time to get up.”

He waited several minutes before speaking again. “Baby,” JC drawled out slowly, eyeing her inert form next to him, “we really have to get dressed. Don't you have an interview this morning?”

She groaned, still not moving.  

He turned on his side and leaned in close to her, dragging his teeth over her shoulder and grinning when she trembled beneath him. “You said you wanted to shower first and you're running out of time.”

"I can't shower,” she said, finally turning her head to him. “I can't even stand up.”

"You're welcome.” He grinned at her and stood up, eliciting a squeal from her when he slapped her butt.

"Ow!” She turned over and stretched, pouting. “That hurt.”

JC glanced at her over his shoulder. “You shouldn't be grumpy after sex that good.” He wiggled his eyebrows and turned back around.

"I'm not grumpy,” she yawned. “I'm exhausted and sore.”

"Like I said, you're welcome.” He headed to the bathroom.

Casey laughed and sat up, reaching to the bedside to grab her phone. “You know I always thought, out of the five of you, Justin was the arrogant one.”

Peeking his head from the doorway, he grinned. “I'm not arrogant; I just know when I'm really good at something.” With another wink he went back into the room. With the door closed behind him, he started the water in the shower before climbing in.

Although the sex that morning had definitely contributed to his overall good mood, it wasn't the only thing. After her run-in with Tony, JC had figured Casey would shut him out completely. He'd mentally prepared himself for it in fact, but so far, she'd done the exact opposite. It started when he'd asked her to ride the bus with him to Sacramento; he'd expected her to say no, and had been floored when she agreed with no argument.

Later, when fans descended outside of their hotel, she didn't scramble away from him when they took pictures. To his surprise, she'd squeezed in between him and Lance and wrapped her arms around both of them. When he'd glanced down at her in obvious surprise, she winked at him and continued to smile for the cameras.

JC lathered shampoo into his hair and his memory skipped back to the night of the altercation with Tony. They were a week past it and things were back to normal. As normal as anything with Casey ever was, he thought somewhat wryly. But she was in a good mood too, and that was something.

It was also something that he couldn't get the events of that evening out of his head. The realization that what he felt for her was more than like, more than lust, and maybe more than she was ready to handle. In a way, it was more than he was ready to handle. And the fact that the word had come to his mind so readily that night made him more than a little uncomfortable.

While JC was most certainly a romantic, he wasn't typically sappy. He definitely didn't start thinking love just because of sex. Drama and baggage usually sent him running in the opposite direction. Usually. But being with Casey that night, holding her while she fell apart made him want to keep holding her, and keep being there as she put the pieces back together.

That realization troubled him. He didn't have a savior complex; rescuing broken women wasn't the sort of thing he was attracted to. He wasn't selfish, but he knew that what he could give to another person, considering everything in his life, was relatively limited. So it made no sense that all he wanted to do where Casey was concerned was tell her he loved her, and that he would be there for her no matter what. It made no sense when he thought about things strictly in terms of time.

All things considered, he and Casey hadn't been together that long. A matter of months. And even without the issue of Tony, the fact that he was already thinking love tilted him off-balance.

When a voice spoke up in his mind saying that maybe it was sex, he thought of all of the conversations they had, and the fact that she'd quickly become one of his favorite people to talk to. Yeah, having sex with her was something he enjoyed. Immensely. But more than the physical act of being intimate with her, there was another level of being with her that he didn't have words to describe. Even while he was in the midst of being as close to her as any one person could be to another, all he wanted was to be closer. Having good sex always made him want to have more good sex, but having sex with Casey made him want to continue having even better sex specifically with her.

With Casey in the picture, there was never any temptation for him when a fan tried to make it clear that she'd be down with whatever he would be interested in. He couldn't imagine that anything anyone else had to offer would even come close to what he knew he had with Casey, what he knew would only get better with time. He hadn't spoken the words because it made him feel kind of lame, but he’d come to think of what they did as lovemaking. He blushed just thinking about it.

Maybe it was the fact that, because of the tour, they were together constantly. Whether or not they actually spent nights together, they were around each other often. Between soundchecks, and while waiting for shows. Despite the busyness and controlled chaos of a tour, there was quite a bit of downtime and he'd gotten the opportunity to spend most of his with her.

And it brought him back to the same conclusion; he loved her. Maybe it was too soon, and maybe it didn't make any sense, but he did. And despite that stupid dissenting voice, it was about way more than sex.

When they were alone together, there was no questioning her feelings for him. Despite the cliche of it, it was clear to him in the way she looked at him, the way his name sounded in her mouth, and the way she touched him. And even if she wasn't yet comfortable with showing all of that in public, he knew it beyond a shadow of any doubt.

He'd made up his mind to tell her he loved her that night, but since then he hadn't found a moment that seemed right. He didn't want the triteness of saying it while they were in bed, but he also didn't want it to be something he tossed out in between their shows. He wanted to be able to sit down, let her look in his eyes, and tell her he was in love with her. He wanted her to be able to see that he meant it.

But there was also the fact that she still wouldn't talk about what had set her off that night. Aside from the fact of Tony just being an asshole, JC couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling that something else had happened to make her want to punch him. Something that had nothing to do with whatever had happened in the hotel months before. And when he was honest with himself, he still wanted to know what that full story was as well.

As he let the water wash over him, he groaned in frustration. His previously good mood was quickly giving way to aggravation, and the worst part was that he wasn’t exactly sure why he was annoyed.

He didn't want to push Casey away. Not when she was finally moving closer to him. So he figured he'd wait, and have to more or less be content to wait until she was ready to tell him everything. Until it was the perfect moment to tell her he loved her.

He turned off the water, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the shower to get ready for the rest of the day.

***

"Hey,” Casey said after Dara answered the phone. “Any news?” She could hear the shower still going in the bathroom and figured she had a few good minutes before JC came out again.

Dara sighed from the other end. “Casey, you're obsessing. I told you I'd keep you updated, and I will.”

"I'm not obsessing, I just...” Casey trailed off and grunted. “I'm obsessing,” she admittedly quietly. “But I can't help it. I didn't hear from you, and since I may not have time to check in with you later, and JC's in the shower, I figured I could call now…”

There was a brief moment of silence before Dara said, “Maybe you should tell him.”

"No!” Casey responded, louder than she'd intended. She snapped her mouth shut and made sure she could still hear the shower. “No,” she repeated softly. “I don't want him to know--ever--and since you say you're going to make the stupid piece of shit book disappear, he shouldntt have to.”

“Casey, you--”

“No, Dara. I'm not telling him or anyone else so do what you need to do to make it go away. Please.”

Dara sighed. “We're working on it. And with that in mind…”

"With that in mind, what?” Casey asked snappishly.

"It would help this whole process if you'd tell me what happened in the hotel room that night. We can't file for an order of protection unless you're willing to testify against Tony.”

Casey scoffed. “I don't need an order of protection; I just need the stupid book gone.”

"I understand that and like I said, we're working on it, but in the interim we want to make sure that Tony doesn't contact you.”

"Dara, just--” Casey stopped abruptly when she realized she no longer heard the shower running. “I gotta go. Call me if you hear anything else. Bye!” Without waiting for her manager to respond, she ended the call and jumped out of bed.

***

"So, OK, you’re touring with *NSYNC and they're pretty much the biggest band on the planet now, so how's that going?”

“Yeah, it's awesome. It's great; they're great guys. And they're consummate professionals so just kind of being around them and seeing the way they do things...I'm getting educated, definitely. And they're just insanely talented and the show they put on is incredible.”

Casey sat across and slightly to the left of the DJ at the round end of a small workstation. Though the evening's show would be taking place in Berkeley, she was in the midst of an in-studio interview in a San Francisco-based radio station. She'd entered the small space pensively, her thoughts not really focused on the evening's performance. JC had already left the hotel room by the time she got out of the shower that morning, but the note he'd left, telling her he had to ask her something later, left her feeling unsettled and more than a little nervous.

Still, she tried her best to be present in her interview, and thankfully, Albert 'Crazy Al' Wallace was genuinely likable and affable enough to keep her at least semi-engaged.

“How is it, though, with all the fans? Because we've heard how crazy the fans can get. Have you witnessed some of that?” He waggled his eyebrows expectantly.

“Yeah, um. So. *NSYNC fans are crazy about *NSYNC.” She shifted in her seat, leaning a bit closer to the microphone in front of her, and chuckled. “I know some people are going to hate the comparison or whatever, but it's totally like Beatlemania wherever they go. I mean there are girls--all ages from like, really little to grown women--and they're screaming and crying and throwing things and it can get pretty intense.”

Someone--she assumed it was the engineer on the other side of the glass--played an effect that sounded like a crowd of screaming girls.

Casey grinned. “Yep. Just like that.”

“Yeah, I'll bet,” Crazy Al agreed, laughing. “So what's the craziest thing you've witnessed from one of their fans?”

Casey snickered a little bit. “From what they've told me, I haven't seen anything too crazy. Just, you know, girls trying to sneak past security in hotels and stuff. Asking the guys to sign various body parts--”

“Body parts?” he interjected. “Are we talking G-rated body parts or….?” Again, his eyebrows raised suggestively and Casey snorted.

“Usually it's pretty G-rated, like arms or legs. Some girls get, ah...pretty audacious, but security usually steps in pretty quickly for that stuff.”

“Yeah, I'll bet.” He nodded. “So what about you being there? You're the only girl on the road with all of these guys that girls all over the world absolutely love? How've the fans been with you about that?”

She shrugged and sipped from the bottle of water on the console in front of her. “Well, I'm not the only one, really. I mean my dancer, Jasmine Flores, she's out there with me every night. And there are other women that are essential to every part of the tour; they're just behind the scenes or whatever.

“But the *NSYNC fans are, you know, I think they've been really receptive to me as the opening act, as an artist. So, I don't think anyone's thinking about me in terms of just being some random chick traveling with *NSYNC, you know? It's business.” She shrugged again.

“Just business, huh?” He quirked an eyebrow up at her. “Because, well, I mean, you're on tour with all these good-looking guys roughly your own age, and you're a beautiful girl. And so you've got all these young, gorgeous people together all the time. Out on the road, going across the country. There's gotta be some temptation to maybe mix business with pleasure sometimes?”

She shook her head emphatically, and adjusted the headphones over her ears. “It-it's not like that.” She hoped no one noticed the way she stuttered the slightest bit when she answered. “I mean, they're all great guys and we have fun together and hang out and stuff when we're not working. We're all, um, friends, you know?”

The sly smile Crazy Al turned on her made Casey's stomach lurch; he looked as if he had a secret he couldn't wait to spill.

“Just friends? Are you sure? Because,” he shuffled some papers around on the desk in front of him, “one of our interns is a huge *NSYNC fan. And she's always reading online message boards and she says that there's these rumors that you and JC Chasez have a thing, maybe?”

Casey almost choked on the water she was sipping and Crazy Al's obvious amusement with the whole thing infuriated her. She brushed at the water she'd splashed on her shirt and tried to affect what she hoped was an air of nonchalance. She laughed, probably a little too loudly, she thought afterward.

“Those message boards are funny, man. We all go on them sometimes and read some of the off-the-wall things people come up with.” She hoped evading the question would be enough to steer the conversation in another direction.

“So does that mean the rumors about you and JC aren’t true?”

Crazy Al held her gaze and she forced a laugh, silently cursing him. “JC's a great guy, but if you knew the two of us you'd realize how ridiculous the idea of the two of us together is.”

“Is it really? Because there are allegedly fans who've seen the two of you out and about at various places and they swear they've seen the two of you looking pretty cozy and very much like a couple.”

She shook her head again. “Uh, no. No.” She snickered. “Like I said, I'm friends with all of the guys. So are my dancers. Like you said, we're all around the same age and the nature of a tour kind of forces you all into close proximity, so… We're all friendly--all of us who are on the tour. And we socialize outside of,” she made air-quotes with her fingers, “work or whatever.”

Crazy Al continued to stare at her with a smirk on his face that showed how unconvinced he was. “OK, Casey, I'm just going to ask you straight up for the record: are you and JC hooked up?”

A web of tension formed behind her eyes and she felt the slowly building pressure of an impending headache. Casey knew the question could likely come at some point, but she wasn't ready for it. The smile she flashed at Al was strained and her voice was carefully controlled.

“No. There is absolutely nothing romantic between JC and me.” She knew, even as the words came out, how she sounded. As if even the suggestion of a romance with JC was insulting to her. She sent up a silent prayer, hoping he wasn't listening to the interview.

Crazy Al looked at her for a moment more before nodding with what appeared to be a satisfied grin. “Well, there you have it, San Francisco. Straight from Casey Whitaker herself."

The conversation moved to other topics and Casey's sense of self-loathing grew with every passing moment.

***

JC turned off the radio and drummed his fingers on his thigh, saying nothing. Casey's words reverberated in his mind. Actually, more than words was the tone of her voice. He'd heard it before, when she was exasperated and altogether done. That was the part that bothered him the most.

He'd almost forgotten he wasn't alone when Justin cleared his throat; he looked up at the sound.

“You OK?”

He raised one shoulder in a shrug. “Yeah, why wouldn't I be? She wants to keep things quiet; you know that.”

Justin blinked slowly, lips pursed. Several seconds passed with him saying nothing, and JC eventually looked away.

“You haven't talked to her then,” the blonde said finally.

JC grunted and stood up, stretching his arms overhead. He knew precisely what Justin was alluding to but he wasn't in any mood to explain himself. “Nope.”

Another minute ticked by in absolute silence as Justin watched JC and JC pretended not to notice.

“Don't you think--” The younger man began slowly, but he was interrupted before he could complete his question.

“She's stressed out, J.” JC stopped bouncing on the balls of his feet and turned weary eyes on his friend. “The whole thing with Tony a week ago took a lot out of her, and she wasn't in the best place to begin with.”

He shook his head and shrugged, gesturing toward Justin. “So she lied to some nosy DJ; it's not that big a deal.”

Justin snorted. “Sure. Except for the part where it kind of is, to you.”

JC rolled his eyes. “I'm--”

“Cut the bullshit, 'C,” Justin said firmly.

The brunette blinked in surprise but kept his mouth shut.

“I know you're like, the most mature one out of all of us or whatever. And be that as it may, it doesn’t mean the rest of us are oblivious. I've known you for a long ass time, and I know you well. And right now I know that you're in love with Casey and--” Justin held up his hand when JC opened his mouth to speak.

“I know you're in love with Casey,” he repeated with a pointed stare, “and that because of that you're in full on self-sacrifice mode. I get it; she's struggling through something. I can see that, too. And when you care about someone, it's in your nature to do whatever you can to help them. And mostly, I think that's OK. But I'm just saying…”

He stopped, inhaled and exhaled deeply and seemed to chew on his words for a little while. JC stared at him impassively.

“I'm just saying, be fair to yourself too. And be honest with her. Tony's…” He paused and grunted. “He's got her messed about some stuff, I know. But Casey can handle your honesty; she deserves it. You do, too.” Justin shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed for the first time.

JC's expression didn't change, but he mumbled, “Thanks,” quietly.