Chapter 11 - All the Feels

Ellie steered the silver Mercedes coupe into the driveway of JC's Orlando mansion. The French style chalet was lit by the afternoon sun, the front facing wall covered in ivy. She got out of the car in her standard work attire, a lavender blouse with a black pencil skirt, her hair undone, and she stepped onto the grey stone driveway. She made her way to the trunk of the car, taking out her briefcase and a shopping bag filled with groceries. She walked up the front step and opened the door calling out, "Josh, I'm home," as she made her way to the kitchen to unload the bag. She then heard a giggle coming from the bedroom. That's weird, she thought to herself. She started to make her way upstairs, the giggling becoming louder as she slowly crept across the landing and into the hallway leading to the bedroom. She stood at the shut door listening in on what was going on on the other side.
"Oh, JC, honey. I've missed you so much." Ellie instantly recognised the voice as Eva Bitchface's, the actress JC was dating before Ellie.
"I never should have dumped you for that crazy bitch. She's so boring." Ellie gasped in shock as she heard JC's voice. Suddenly she threw open the door to find a short, blond man with a thick build and a busty, bottle redhead in bed in place of JC and Eva.
"Miles! Catalina! Where's JC and Eva?"
"Who? Lizzie, what are you talking about?"
"JC, this is JC's room." She looked around and saw the light blue walls melt into the cream walls of the Omega Phi frat house at Louisiana State, JC's white, cast iron bed morphing into the cheap, chrome double bed that she had helped Miles pick out at an IKEA. She found herself in the moment where she had caught Miles with one of the teacher's aides of a political science class.
"Lizzie, what are you talking about?" Her vision went blurry as she saw Miles crawl out of the bed, reaching out to her. She jolted awake as his fingertips touched her arm. She snapped her eyes open and gasped for air, finding JC sitting next to her, reading a science fiction novel in bed, his chin pressed against his chest as he lay on his back holding the book up with his hand, glasses perched on his nose, wearing only a pair of briefs. He looked over at her, never completely turning his head or putting his book down.
"Are you OK?"
Ellie sat up, pulling the bed sheet over the apricot coloured tank top and white panties she was wearing. "When did you break up with Eva?"
JC sighed as he sat up and put his book and glasses on the bed side table. "She stopped calling me in January."
"Why did you just sigh? What are you hiding?"
"Baby, I'm tired, OK. Our relationship wasn't clearly defined. We were never officially dating. She would call me up when she wanted to see me, then we would hang out for a little while." He turned over to face her. "Sometimes I would see her multiple times a week, sometimes she wouldn't call for days, weeks sometimes. She had a few men she was doing the same with, and I guess I was either rotated out, or she found herself a keeper."
"You're OK with how she treated you?" She shuffled down to come face-to-face with him.
He started running his fingers up and down her forearm. "You seek out the love you think you deserve. A lot of shit was going on; I was depressed and she was a distraction."
"Why was I different?"
"You just treated me differently. When you told me that I couldn't cheat on you, I knew that you were serious about having a relationship with me. I wasn't some dirty little secret you only call up when you had a craving."
She intertwined her fingers with his. "I'm sorry I had to bring this up again. I had a bad dream that I caught you in bed with her. Well, I was going to catch you, but when I opened the door it was Miles and one of his floozies. I'm scared you'll leave me and go back to her."
"I won't." He pulled her closer to him, turning over onto his back as she lay on top of him.
She kissed him. "Tell me why you love me again."
"The last four and a half months have been some of the best I've ever lived." He wrapped his arms around her waist, putting pressure just under her shoulder blades. She kissed him again and softly ground her pelvis into his.
"Do you want to make love now?"
"I'm a little too tired."
"Good." She flung the sheet off her and got out of bed. "I really need to pee." She went into the bathroom as he turned over onto his stomach, pulling the sheet up over his shoulders, taking in and letting out a breath. She returned to find him asleep. She crawled in beside him, wrapping his arm around her waist.

Friday, July 1st
Ellie stood at the kitchen table in a light blue sundress with white crocheted trim along the edges. She finished the note requesting the $125 dollar reimbursement to Diana as she attached the receipt of the two sets of black halter dresses and matching shoes she had bought at a department store that morning. She tucked the note into an envelope and placed it on top of the shoebox and carefully wrapped bridesmaid dress in the courier box. JC walked into the kitchen wearing a pair of jeans and a white singlet as she was sealing and addressing the package.
"The building inspector just called. He'll send Adam a full report of the inspection of the apartment, but everything's in great condition. By the looks of it, everything is in order for us to close on the 8th of next month."
"So, you're getting yourself an apartment for your birthday." Ellie placed the cap on the marker she was using.

"Pretty much." JC slowly took the black bridesmaid's dress out of the shopping bag by the large box on the table.

"What's wrong, baby?"
"It's a nice dress, but..."
"But, what?"
"Are you sure Claire's mom's OK with this?"
"You can call her Diana. Anyway, Claire's put her foot down now that Anna's refusing point blank to be her maid of honour unless she can wear a black dress. Diana doesn't have a choice, and on the plus side, it will make a striking contrast to the sea of peach and carnation pink vomited all over the country club."
JC folded the dress and placed it back in the bag. "That's a little bit of an exaggeration. They'll use something to cut it."
"You obviously don't know how southern women use their colours," Ellie said in a jokingly matter-of-fact tone as she turned around to lean her butt against the table. "Another bonus is that it will give the groomsmen a little more dignity in black ties instead of the peach satin I can imagine as Diana's original idea."

JC walked over to her and placed his hands on the table on either side of her, pressing his body against her. She cupped his jaw as they kissed, letting out a small, contented grunt. She smiled up at him, a look of complete happiness in her eyes.

"Will you marry me?" he whispered before she softened her face as a wave of warm pressure flowed over the right side of her back. "I wanted to ask you on your birthday, but I decided against when we invited my parents over. I didn't want you to turn me down in front of them." He took her hands and held them together in between their chests. "We don't have to get married if you don't want to. I just want to know if you would stay with me forever, really. We'll get a prenup, but I'll give you the apartment if we break up. I probably shouldn't have said that. I just want you to love me."
She looked down at their hands, feeling the nervousness he was feeling as he caressed her, his thumb brushing against the seven pearls on her ring finger. "So, the ring you gave me isn't just a friendship ring."
"I thought you would like the pearls more than some big diamond."
She looked back up at his face as he pulled away from her, starting to bend down on one knee. "Yes."

He stopped as she answered him, tightly closing his eyes as he started to breath deeply. He opened his eyes as the first tear trickled down his cheek.

"Yes, I will marry you."

He grabbed her and pulled her into the longest, deepest, and hardest kiss he had ever kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, opening her eyes to see her engagement ring as he finally withdrew. "You're going to be my husband," she whispered, the air leaving her body. She wiped the tears off his cheek. "I always thought I would be the one crying," she sputtered as she burst into tears.
"I've never been this happy." He kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her waist.

A few hours later, they lay in bed, their naked bodies entwined after an afternoon of passionate lovemaking. They watched as an overcast sunset filled the room.

"I think it might be too late for you to post the package," JC mumbled as he ran the tip of his nose along the curve of Ellie's neck.
"I was thinking that instead of flying straight into New York on the 6th, why don't we fly into Baton Rouge on the 5th? I could drop it off at the Mathersons' on the way to my parent's place," she suggested. They sat for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes as the room darkened.
"We're engaged to be married."
"Yeah."
"We're going to live together and have a wedding. I'm going to put a baby in you."
"You want children?"
"I want your children, Elizabeth."
"We're not giving them southern names like Sherman."
"I like Lucy. She'll have your pretty, blue eyes and my big feet."
"I'm not so sure about Lucy. I know someone back home who goes by Lucy, and I can't say I'm the biggest fan of the name. I like Jamie for a boy, though. He'll have your dark hair and be grossly uncoordinated like me."
"You're not that uncoordinated. Anyway, with my dancing ability, your incoordination will be levelled out to at least average coordination."
She ran her fingers through his hair. "I want to take your name. Argyle sounds so guttural."
"And my name's any better?"
"Yeah, ‘cause I know how to pronounce it." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Shaar-zaay, Shar-zay. Elizabeth Shar-zay."
"Sha-zay, sha, sha, Sha-zay. Chasez."
"I know." Giggling, she kissed him. "When do you want to get married?"
He thought for a moment. "April the 13th."
"Yeah, we can start planning then after our first anniversary. Two months should be long enough to plan a small wedding, right? Why the 13th of April?"
"I just like the sound of it." He squeezed her, kissing her forehead. "How did we happen?"
"Literally or metaphorically?"
"Metaphorically."
She looked at him. "God wanted us to happen. He made you for me and me for you."
"But we're so different."
"Not really. Sure we've had a few different life experiences...OK, a fucking lot, but we're not that different personality wise. We're both quiet and driven by our emotions." She kissed the tip of his nose. "We're also very good lovers," she joked.

He turned them so she was underneath him. "Do not get me started."
"Oh, I wouldn't dare."

JC pulled into the driveway of his parents' place around 9pm that night, the rain lightly beating down on the windshield. He turned to Ellie in the passenger seat. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She squeezed his hand as it held onto the gear stick and nodded with a smile. "Yeah."
They got out of the car and playfully walked up to the front door, her in the same blue sundress from before with an oversized, faded, indigo sweatshirt over it and him in a simple black hoodie and a pair of jeans. Right before they made their way up the stairs, he pulled her into deep kiss.

"I love you," she whispered, lightly holding on to his sleeves.
"I love you, too." He guided her up the stairs and knocked on the front door.

A waif-like woman with auburn hair in a white t-shirt and pink striped bed shorts holding a large yellow mug answered the door. She leaned into the frame. "What brings you around these parts at this time at night? Do you have any idea what hour this is?"
JC pointed to his right. "Um, this is Ellie."
"Heather." JC's sister switched the mug from her right hand to her left and shook Ellie's hand in greeting. The three of them stood in an awkward silence for a moment. "Well, you guys wanted me down here for the 4th. I flew in this afternoon." She motioned them indoors. "Why are you visiting so late?"
JC took Ellie's hands and put an arm around her waist. "We have some news."
"You've formed a new band." Heather gasped in mock surprise as Karen and Roy made their way into the front hall from the living room.
Karen came to stand by her son's side. "I thought Ellie wasn't a musician."
"No, Mom, it'll be cool, like 'Wings.'" Heather took a sip of the iced water in her mug.
Roy made a circular gesture. "What's all this about, Josh? It's very late."
JC took a deep breath and looked over at Ellie as she softly ran her fingertip along the heel of his hand. "I've asked Elizabeth to marry me and she's happily accepted."
Karen gasped and covered her mouth with her hands as her husband let out a long disgruntled sigh. Heather's eyes darted back and forth between JC and Ellie as she figured out that Ellie was short for Elizabeth. "Holy shit, no fucking way. This is rich even by your standards, Josh." She made a clicking sound with her tongue and held her mug up in a toast, giving a wink.

Roy suddenly took Ellie by the arm and dragged her into the kitchen. "Ow!" she exclaimed, rubbing her arm as he closed the door.
"You can't marry Joshua."
"What?..Why not?"
"You've only been together, what, four and a half months. It's far too soon."
Ellie pulled her sleeves over her hands. "It's not like we're getting married tomorrow. We just want to be engaged right now, that's all."
Roy compulsively pulled his undershirt down over the waistband of his red checked pajama pants. "I was hoping you would be a little smarter about this, the voice of reason, you know? When Josh gets an idea into his head he can become fairly buttheaded, but maybe you would be able to talk him out of it."
"Shouldn't you be addressing your hesitations with you son?" Ellie responded as JC opened the kitchen door.
"Is there anything you want to say to me, Dad?"
Roy stood in silence for awhile. "You shouldn't get married. It's too soon."

With that Ellie walked out of the kitchen and into the hall, storming outside as she heard Karen say a similar statement to Heather from inside the living room.

JC snapped his arm in the direction of the front door after he heard it close. "Now look what you've done."
"Look what I've done? This is all your doing, Joshua."
JC ran his hand through his hair, huffing in frustration. "Why can't you just be happy for me?"
"Because you're being extremely careless--" Roy was cut off by his son.
"Stop trying to control my life! That's all you guys seem to do. You keep saying that you know what's best for me and all of that bullshit, but you never think what I might want, what I want to be happy."
"Do you even know what you want?" Roy snapped.
"I don't fucking know, OK?"
"And you think you're ready to get married?"
"Because I want to be with her...I want to be with Ellie. I love her."
"Then why can't you just be with her? You don't have to get married--"
JC cut off his father again. "Because I just want to. I want to marry her."
"Do you even know what it takes to be married, to stay married?"
"I'll work it out." They stood in silence as Roy was dumbfounded. "I can't do this anymore, Dad. I thought you would be happy for me, for us." JC turned to leave the house, meeting his mother at the front door. He took his car keys out of his pocket as he opened the front door. "Don't call me unless you accept my decision." With that, he stepped out and closed the door behind him.
"Roy..." Karen addressed her husband with a pained and confused whine.
"I don't know what to do. He's usually such a smart boy."
"Really, Dad?" Heather stood with her parents in the hallway, lifting up her hands in suggestion. "Now, this might just be the clinical psychologist in me, but I say that he's feeling unease because the thing that usually completely engulfs his life, his career, is at a place where he has very little control over, to the extent where it was negatively affecting every other aspect of his life, including his love life. So, now that he's found something that he can either control, or something that is resulting in something positive, like, say, I don't know, the right girl, he's trying to keep that as long as he possible can, thus marrying her..." Heather pursed her lips. "But I don't know anything."

She started to make her way up the stairs. "Look, Tyler said that Josh wants a prenup, so he's still operating at some level of common sense. Maybe the best we can do right now is sit and wait it out. Maybe, as much as you don't want to admit it right now, maybe he knows what he's doing, and maybe he knows that she's what's best for him."

JC found Ellie sitting on the top step taking refuge from the rain as he closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath. Be strong, keep it together.
She jumped a little when she heard the door click. "Oh, hey." She wiped the tears from her eyes with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
"Come here, baby." He reached out and pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tightly. "Everything will be fine."
"Can we go home now?" she mumbled as she buried her head into his chest.
"Sure." He led her to the front passenger door of the car, protecting her from the rain with his jacket.

They didn't speak for the first 20 minutes or so of the drive home, tension building with each second. Finally, Ellie spluttered into violent tears. She reached her hands up, trying to calm herself by grabbing the upholstery on the roof of the car, gasping in between sobs.
JC reached his free hand over to try to console her. "I don't think I've seen you ugly cry before," he said jokingly as she shook his hand free.
She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Oh my God, fuck you! Do you know what your dad told me to do back there? He told me to call off the engagement. Do you understand what position that puts me in?" She paused, processing her thoughts. She squeaked as she started crying again. "I have to either break up with you or tell you that I don't want to marry you."
He changed gears with acute force mirroring the feeling in his gut. "OK, so which one do you choose?"
"Neither, I want to marry you."
"You want to marry me?" He snapped his head to look at her.
"Yes." She pulled her sleeves over her hands, placing one into the other to create a makeshift muff.
"Wait, you actually want to marry me?" he said in a bewildered tone as he turned his eyes back to the road.
"Yes, why do you think I accepted your proposal, dickweed?"

JC leaned out of his seat to look out the passenger side window, carefully steering the car into the driveway of the house. He turned the car off and they sat for a moment in the darkness, Ellie occasionally sniffing over the sound of the rain.

"If you don't want me to marry you, then why did you ask me?" Ellie whispered in a meek tone.
"It's not that."
She raised her voice as she turned to look at him. "Then what is it? You've been planning this for, what, a week now? You say that this is what you want, then suddenly you're unsure about it the moment, the very moment your folks say that maybe it's a bad idea."
He cut her off as she paused. "What if they're right? Huh? What if it is too soon? What if we are rushing into it?"
"THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING ASK ME? If you're not completely serious, then why did you ask me? You know that marriage isn't something you're supposed to take lightly. If you weren't sure, then you shouldn't have asked me." She took a deep breath. "If you're not sure, then why did you ask me to marry you?" She watched him as he ran the ignition key up his leg, making a faint line in the denim of his jeans. She repeated herself, "If you're not sure, then why did you ask me?"
After what felt like a century, he finally answered, "I thought if I proposed, you would stay with me."
"I would have stayed with you if you didn't ask," she snapped.
"That's not what you said on the beach, you said that you couldn't stay with me if I didn't marry you."
"I never said that."
"You said something like it. I just...I just want...I don't know, maybe I thought that if I proposed, maybe it would take you a little longer to find a reason to dump me."
"You have to be fucking kidding me. Do you mean that?" She watched as he flicked his thumb on one of the cuts of the key, never looking her in the eyes. "Did you seriously just concoct some bullshit excuse? Do you seriously think...No, I can't do this." She opened the door and slid out of the vehicle, bending over to say one final point. "Are you so fucked in the head that you honestly think I'm keeping track of some list of reasons why I should dump you? That's fucked up, even by your standards." She threw the car door shut and ran up to front door, slamming against it with the palm of her hand when she couldn't open it. "Motherfucker!"

He got out of the car and followed her, reaching in front of her to unlock the door.
"Don't touch me." She flinched as his hand brushed against her stomach.
He stopped before trying again. "I need to..."
"Don't fucking touch me."
 He unlocked the door with a huff. "What is your fucking problem?"
"You're my fucking problem." She swung open the door and kicked of her shoes, starting her way upstairs. She stopped as he called after her.
"Baby..." He looked up at her as he stood at the foot of the stairs.
"I need to be alone right now, JC." She saw him flinch as she said his initials. She climbed the rest of the staircase, turning at the top to look back at him, sadness filling his blue eyes. She slowly slipped out of view, quietly shutting herself in the bedroom with her tears.

Almost in slow motion, JC ran his fingers through his hair, grabbing onto the thickest part, pulling until he felt it sting. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, making a resigned murmur as he exhaled. "Shit," he whispered as the phone rang, "I'm coming." He turned the light on in the kitchen and yanked the receiver off the hook, yelling into the phone at what he expected to be one of his parents, "What!?"
Justin made a startled squeak. "Whoa, man. What's up your butt?"
"I thought you were my dad, that's all." JC pulled one of the chairs from the kitchen table and sat down.
"Why are you angry at Roy? You two never fight."
"Just some family drama, that's all. Why did you call me?"
"I have great timing, don't I?" Justin chuckled. "Um, I was wondering how you beat the boss in the graveyard level of Shadows Keep. I keep trying and I can't seem to get him at the right point. He's never open."
"His weak spot is on his back, I think. You shoot him when he's building up the energy ball thingies. Why aren't you asking Chris or Trace this?"
"Chris is on a date and Trace hasn't played the game. You said last year that you did, so I called you."

Justin quieted down for a second. "Um, JC, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. You know how you said in that interview what had happened, then I got angry at you? Well, I went back and read what you said again, like really read what you were saying and how you felt about the whole situation. Well, I see now that maybe, I could've handle the situation a little more...I guess, delicately?"
"Yeah, it's fine though. I was ready to move on anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"The group dynamic had just changed, that's all. We weren't really doing it just for us anymore. *NSYNC had kinda just become another vehicle to make you famous. If we made another album, it wouldn't have been just an *NSYNC album, it would've been a Justin Timberlake and *NSYNC album. To be honest, I wouldn't have been OK with that. What you did wrong, though, was that instead of telling us immediately when you knew that you didn't want to be in the group anymore, you dragged us along for two years telling us that you still wanted to do another album. Also, next time, tell us that kind of news in person, don't herd us all into a room and send Johnny in to do it. Treat the situation personally if the reaction is going to be personal."
"OK, is that why you got all butthurt about it?"
"Yeah, at the beginning, we were all equals. But over time, especially the last few years, you kind of rose above us, making yourself more important than us. With what you did, you forced us to put our lives on hold for you whilst you didn't have to. You got to move on gradually whilst we had to process everything immediately. You also pretty much fired us. Well, told Johnny to fire us on your behalf."
"Sorry, man. I didn't know."

JC made a small grunt, not completely sure if Justin's apology was completely genuine. "Why did you do all that shit with Ellie?"
Justin's tone changed. JC knew instantly that Justin was now lying to him. "I didn't know you were so serious about her." Justin tried to brush it off. "I was just having some fun. I didn't think she would act so dramatically."
"You sexually assaulted her."
"No, I didn't."
"When you grabbed her ass. She feels like you did."
"Well, she punched me."
"You violently invaded her personal space."
"No, I didn't."
"Again, Justin, that's how she feels."
"You've changed, man. You used to be able to take a joke."
"You need to grow up. Look, I need to go. Maybe we'll talk again when you feel like apologising to Ellie." JC hung up. He thought for a moment, staring at Ellie's purse on the kitchen counter.

He stood up and opened it, taking out her personal organiser. He opened it to the personal details page. He called the number listed under 'Next of kin: John and Emily Argyle'. John picked up just after the first ring. "Good evening. John speaking."
"Oh, hey. It's Josh, Ellie's boyfriend."
"Hey. It's nice to hear from you. Is everything OK with our girl?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. Ellie and I were talking this afternoon, and we were wondering if we could come spend a few days with you guys before she has to fly back into New York on the 6th."
"Oh, we would love that. If you fly in tomorrow, we can go to church on Sunday. I also do a big barbecue on the 4th of July every year. It'll be lovely to have Ellie there this year. I really miss her when we do big family events and she can't come. We just had Claire's engagement party, the whole congregation was there. Just didn't feel right without her."
"Um, John. There's another reason I called."
"What is it, son?"
"Um, I want to ask you a question. I've been thinking a lot recently how good Ellie's been for me. I don't mean in an obedience way. I mean, she's a good girl, but..."
"Stumbling over your words a bit, son? A bit nervous?"
"Yeah. I really love her and she makes me very happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. And I've kind of been thinking how well we fit together, as people, you know?"
"I think I get what you're saying."
"Yeah, well, we go really well together, and I've been thinking about how wonderful she would be at being a wife and mother."
"Oh, OK." John caught wind of what JC was doing."So, you're asking for her hand in marriage?"
"Um, yeah. If you don't mind...please?" JC heard Emily ask John what was going on through the phone.
"What's going on?"
"Josh just asked me permission to propose."
"To you?"
"No, to Ellie. He wants to marry Ellie."
"Give me the phone." JC heard a struggle before Emily came on the line. "Yes! I mean yes. We'll love it if you married Ellie. She's very much in love with you and I know that she would love it if you became her husband."
"You don't think it's too soon?"
"Well, that's what long engagements are for. God's plans are sometimes much faster than our own, but when they happen, you just know what you're supposed to do."
"That explains a lot." JC came to the realisation of how Ellie had become such a romantic. He heard John try to take the phone off Emily.
"I'm her daddy. I'm the one who's supposed to give permission. I only get to do this once." Emily handed John the phone. "Josh, you there?"
JC chuckled. "Yeah. May I please have your daughter Elizabeth's hand in marriage?"
"Yes, I'd be honoured. Are you gonna ask her down here, or are you going to wait a bit? What kind of ring are you getting her?"
"I got her a ring with some pearls on it. I would buy her the biggest diamond I could, but I didn't really think she would like that. I was actually thinking of asking her up here in private. We'll just kind of act like I didn't ask if she doesn't accept."
"Right, I guess we'll know how it turns out when you two get here. I don't think she wouldn't tell us that kind of news in person. We look forward to seeing you."
"Great, bye."
"One more thing, if you hurt her, embarrass her or fuck her over, I will find you, rip your head off and shit down your neck. Got that?"
"It's getting late, John."
"I mean it."
"I know. I've just gotta go. Bye."
"Bye bye."
JC hung up the phone and rang his hands over his face. "Jesus Christ." He got up from the table, put the phone on the hook and went upstairs.

He knocked lightly on the bedroom door. "Baby, can I come in?"
"No." He heard Ellie's muffled voice as he started to open the door. "Go away."
He climbed on the bed and laid behind her, lightly kissing her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry."
"No, you're not."
"No, I am. I let my folks get into my head and I forgot how I feel and why I asked you. You were right. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't really want you to marry me."
"So, you're taking it back?"
"Baby, look at me." He slid back and gently pulled on her arm. She turned over to face him. He wiped away her tears and gently kissed her. "I asked you because I love you."
"Can you just make this quick? I've called off an engagement before and the longer you draw it out, the more it hurts."
"I'm not taking it back. I called your parents."
"Fuck, you didn't tell them, did you?"
"I asked them for your hand, to show you that I'm serious. I asked you because I want you to be my wife."
She tugged on the waistband of his jeans, pulling him close enough to intertwine her legs with his. "But do you want to be my husband and father my children? Do you want to do those things in general? Do you want kids?"
"I don't know what to say to make you believe me. I don't know what to say to convince you that I want this. I love you and I want to make you happy with every electron, atom and molecule of my whole being. If you want to get married and have 14 babies, then I want to get married and have 14 babies."
"I'm not birthing 14 babies."
"If you don't want to do that, then we won't."
She softly traced the curve of his ear with her finger. "But what about what you want?"
"I want you." He lightly kissed her wrist.
She ran the tip of her finger slowly down his bottom lip and softly whispered, "Kiss me."
He used his weight to turn her over onto her back, deeply kissing her as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Why do you want me to give you up if you still need me?"
"I'm addicted. I can't quit you."
"Then marry me."
"Are you sure?"
He gently cupped her jaw, looking into her eyes. "Yes. Marry me, please. I'm being serious. Marry me."
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
"What about what you want? If you could do anything, without any negative consequences, whatever you want in your deepest of hearts, what would you do? Would you marry me?"
"No negative consequences?"
"None, nothing. No heartbreak, no negative reactions, no divorce. If you knew it would be a sure bet and whatever you chose would come out in your favour, what would you choose?"
She gently unzipped his jacket and slid her hand underneath the white tank top, softly combing through the hair on his abdomen as she thought. "I guess that I would marry you."
He kissed her. "Is that a yes?"
She nodded, a small but sure smile coming to her lips. "Yes, it is."