Chapter 17 - Toxic

Saturday, October 8th, 2005.

Ellie hailed a cab before JC opened the door for her and they got into the backseat. “Corner of 63rd and 3rd, please.” Ellie adjusted the sleeves on her sweater.

“Why do we have to go to premarital counselling again?” JC took the Baltimore Orioles cap off his head, bent the brim and put it back on.

“I don’t think there’s any harm. We’ve got some issues we need to work through. Talking it over in a formal environment in a civil manner might help some things.” Ellie caught the prying eyes of the cab driver in the rear view mirror. “Do you mind? This is a private conversation."

She paid the cab driver and stepped out in front of the brownstone office building. JC pulled down his black sweater over his jeans as they entered the foyer.

Ellie greeted the receptionist. “Hi, Dr. Lowenstein’s office?”

“Third floor. Sign here.”

“Thank you.” They climbed the two flights of stairs and came to a stop at the frosted door printed “Dr. Marianne Lowenstein. PhD & PsyD, AAMFT.” Ellie smoothed over her lilac sweater and light blue jeans and entered, greeting the secretary. “Hi, I’m here for my three o’clock with Marianne. Elizabeth Argyle.”

The secretary gasped when she notice JC. “Oh. My. God. I loved you in *NSYNC!” She started singing a few bars of “Pop”, “Do you ever wonder why, this music gets you high…Loved, loved, loved that song. Would you mind signing an autograph?” She pushed a half-used Zoloft promotional pad over the counter with a Sharpie. “It is such an honour being able to meet you. Can you introduce me to Justin and Lance?”

He signed the pad as he felt Ellie’s contempt burn through the side of his face.

He waved then joined Ellie in the far corner of the waiting room. “What? I have fans.”

She let out a frustrated sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“This is a professional environment. She’s not only wasting her time, but also ours.”

“No, what’s wrong? You were fine until she noticed me.”

“I’m already embarrassed that we’re doing this. I fucking hate that we already have all of this shit to work through. Then one of your fans recognises you, it just screams ‘Hey, there’s something wrong with you two. You probably shouldn’t be getting married. You’re doomed to fail.’ And you know how fans can be. They’ll blame me if something goes wrong. I’m the reason you left, I’m a bitch for kicking you out, I wasn’t enough for you if you end up cheating.”

“Maybe it is a good idea that we’re here.”

Within twenty-five minutes, they were sitting on the floor cross-legged, facing each other.

“OK, breathe deeply. I want the two of you to know that this is a safe place.” Marianne, a petite brunette woman in her 50s, paced the floor of the office, her long skirt brushing the carpet. “Nothing that is said in this room will leave this room. What I want you to do is verbalise your feelings. Once something is said, I want the other person to receive and acknowledge those feelings.”

JC grunted as he exhaled. “I feel stupid.”

“I understand and acknowledge that you feel stupid.” Ellie placed her hands into her lap.

“Thank you for acknowledging that I feel stupid.”

Marianne sat in the wicker chair underneath the window. “It’s not exactly what I meant, but it’s a good start. Elizabeth, is there anything you’d like to bring up?”

Ellie paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “I don’t feel like I’m good enough for you. Sometimes I feel like I’m only a container for you to ejaculate into. I feel like I’m a place-keeper for what you wanted from Eva. I feel like we just keep going over old shit, so we can’t work through anything else. I feel like your life is more important than mine.”

JC pursed his lips in confusion. “OK..?”

“I hate doing the bi-coastal thing. I hate that I am trying to mould my life to yours and, frankly, I’m struggling with it. This is my home. I’m comfortable in New York; my work’s here. My job is here, and for as long as I want to continue working here, I need to be based here. I want to have my children here. All of my doctors are here. It’s taken me years to develop a comfortable relationship with my gynaecologist, and I want him delivering my babies. I want to raise my children in New York. If I can’t do it in Louisiana, I want to do it here. I believe in infant baptism. I don’t want to tour with you. I don’t want to become a Linda McCartney. I don’t want to be just an extension of you.”

“I feel like you’re a walking contradiction. Sometimes you say you’re OK with something, then a few days later, you change your mind.” JC let out a long sigh. “I feel like you don’t—” She cut him off, thinking that he was going to say “support me.”

“I do! But I can’t do it if I’m not a complete person. I can’t support you if I resent the fact that I have to give up who I am for you.” Ellie paused. “I feel like we’re ignoring what I want and what I need to be equal to you and I hate the fact that I need you to change—“

“Let me get a fucking word in! I know I have to change; I want to change. My life was extremely toxic before I moved here. L.A. is extremely toxic, full stop. It’s just going to take some time. If you want to stop going back and forth every month, we will. But, BUT, you need to acknowledge that it’s not just you now, just like I have to. There’s two of us now.”

Ellie let out a dismayed sigh as JC closed the office door into the hallway behind them. He reached out his arms to her. “Come here, let’s hug it out.”

She bundled herself into his embrace. “I feel like shit. We’re fucked; this whole relationship is fucked.”

“It’s OK. It’s tiring to spill so much out at once. I still love you and I’m willing to work through anything to stay with you.” He rubbed her back to comfort her. “Do you want to get some ice cream?”

She looked up at him with a baffled look. “What?”

They sat in Central Park, watching the ducks swimming on the pond. JC licked some of the melted cream off his thumb. “Do you think we had the same questionnaire, or different ones?”

“I think we got the same one. What did you put for the sex and affection question?”

“I said that we have a healthy physical relationship. Do you think we do?”

“I hope so. I really don’t mean that ejaculate container thing.” Ellie grunted in disgust. “I hate feeling like I shouldn’t enjoy sex. I want to enjoy it.”

“What did you put for the infidelity question?”

“I have no tolerance for it. Why?”

“Just something your dad said, that you have a line. I’m not sure, but I think he was implying that in certain circumstances, you might.”

“Well, he’s wrong. When I was with Miles, I was a child. I was naive and he told me all of this shit and I believed it…I’m better than that.”

She licked a droplet of cream off one of her fingers. “What did you put for the divorce question?”

“I think it’s OK in some circumstances. You don’t think we’ll end up like that?”

“I don’t know. What happens if one of us turns abusive? If one of us becomes an addict or something? What if we just can’t have a healthy relationship one day?”

“Then we’ll just enjoy this for as long as we can. I hate thinking that we’ll have an endpoint.”

“But that’s what’s going to happen, either we break up or one of us dies. Either that or we somehow die at the same time…I don’t want that to happen.”

They sat in a pregnant tension for a moment, JC changing the subject to a more lighter one. “Why is it that your favourite ice cream flavour seems to be vanilla?”

“I like other flavours. I just like vanilla, that’s all.” She shrugged.

“Well, if you like it, then it must be really good then.” He bent over and stole a taste from her cone.

“Hey!..Butthole.” She watched as he wiped his lips. “Wait, you got a little…” She leaned over and kissed him. “You know, I feel like fifty percent of the time when I kiss you, it’s because you’ve got food on your lips.”

“Well, I do eat a lot.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“I wonder if there’s a way to burn off all of those calories?”

“I can think of one…Is it raining?”

They kissed as they pushed through the front door, their clothes and hair wet from that afternoon’s rain. “Last one upstairs has to be on top.” Ellie giggled as she made her way to the stairs. JC grabbed her from behind and swung her around, putting her behind him.

“Hey!” she called as he bounded up the stairs. She followed him to find him shirtless on the bed. “You’re bigger than me.” She peeled off her sweater and kicked off her shoes.

“Only by a few inches.”

She climbed on the bed and straddled him, feeling his hard-on press against the fly of his jeans. She ran her fingernails down his torso. “I fucking love your chest hair.” She leaned down to kiss him.

“What else do you love?”

“Your eyes, your fingers, your speaking voice, your hair, your lips, your tongue…”

“What about my cock?”

“I fucking adore your cock.” She lifted the white t-shirt she was wearing over her head, undoing her bra from the front.

“Oh, fuck, yes.” He leaned forward to kiss her between her breasts.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair. “Is there anything you love about me?”

He kissed down her abdomen as he listed, “I love your eyes, your lips, your hands…” He turned over until she was lying on the bed, continuing as he undid her fly, “Your ass, your tits…” He slid her jeans and panties down, taking them off. He opened her legs and softly licked her, tasting her sweetness. “…your gorgeous, pink pussy.”

“I thought I was going to be on top?”

He undid his jeans and slid them down to reveal his hard cock. He lay beside her and finished undressing. She climbed back on top of him and started to run her fingers up and down the shaft of his penis. “Do you want to wear a condom?”

“What?”

“I’ve just noticed that we’re not using them as much.”

“You’re an unwanted pregnancy just waiting to happen, aren’t you?” He reached over and opened the bedside drawer. “If you don’t put it on, I will.”

She reached into the drawer and took out the usual foil packet, rolling it down his cock before she inserted him into her. With force she started riding him, gasping every time she took as much of him as she could. She started pleasuring herself as he repositioned his legs, thrusting into her. She collapsed on top of him, letting out a cry as she came.

“Spank me,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Fucking spank me. I’ve been a bad girl, Daddy, and I need a fucking spanking.”

He pushed her onto the bed. He turned her onto her stomach and slapped her ass as hard as he could. “If you keep this up, I’m going to have to tie you up and fuck you on the piano again.” He growled as he reentered her, fucking her from behind until he came, biting her as his seed left him.

Later that night, they lay in the bath together, hearing the rain beat down on the city. She snuggled into his chest on the verge of falling asleep. “When do you want to start a family?”

He brushed her hair away from her neck. “I don’t know. I guess we could start at anytime. How long do you want to wait?”

“Part of me thinks we should wait a few years, just enjoy each other for awhile. Part of me really wants a baby, though.”

“Well, if you want to, you can stop using birth control and we could call our families up to the city and get married next week at City Hall.”

She thought for a moment. “I’m probably just looking for an excuse for us to fuck all of the time.”

“Maybe. Maybe you want to fuck all the time because you really want a baby. It’s a chicken and egg paradox thing.” He lightly kissed her forehead. “Where do you want to go for our honeymoon? Do you still want to see London?”

“Can’t, at least not next week. I don’t have a passport.”

“Wait…how do you get through the airport?”

“I only fly domestic. You’ve seen me use my driver’s license. Anyway, if we do go somewhere, I was thinking maybe Thailand or something. We could do both.”

She sat thinking for a moment. "I wish things would stop being so difficult for us. I wish we got on better."

He gently ran his fingers through her hair. "We do get on well. It's just that every time we seem to have a serious discussion, it gets heated. We're a little too emotional."

"Do you think we should call off getting married until we settle down a bit?"

"I don't know. That might never happen. We've been together nearly eight months and it hasn't seemed to ease off."

She let off a long defeated sigh. “Maybe we’re just not meant to be together.”

“Is it another man?"

"WHAT!?" She jolted away from him. "Are you being fucking serious right now?" She got out of the tub, furiously wrapping a towel around herself. "You were in me not even three hours ago. Do you really fucking think that I would still be sleeping with you if I was even considering leaving you for another man?” She stormed into the bedroom.

He grunted in frustration before he got out of the tub and followed her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He stopped when he found her crying on the bed.

“I can’t do this. All I feel like we’re doing is delaying the evident.”

“THEN JUST FUCKING DUMP ME THEN!” He slammed his fist on the doorframe. “If you’re only waiting for us to break up, just fucking do it already. You had your fun; you got to feel like your were some kind of romantic heroine. Now you can go marry some dickhead in finance and go live Rhode Island or something.

“Rhode Island is too far away—“

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE!” He threw open a drawer and violently took out a pair of pyjama pants. He put them on, then ripped the quilt from the bed. “If you give a shit, I’ll be downstairs.”

Ellie sat at her desk typing. She had awoken that morning to find JC gone. She floated through her morning routine and arrived at work on time. She scrolled through the article she was typing, checking for grammatical mistakes as she heard a familiar voice.

“Lizzie.”

She groaned as she turned to see Miles standing in the middle of her office. “What are you doing here?”

He readjusted the purple tie under his grey suit. “My boss is in town on business. I thought it would be OK if I came to see you during lunch.”

“It’s not OK. I don’t want to see you.”

“But I want to see you. I still love you. I never should have married Molly Sue. I should've tried to win you back. I should've made you stay back home.” He straightened his green tie again. “I’m not ready to become a father. Run away with me.”

“NO! You’ve made your fucking bed, now you can lie in it.”

He pulled her out of her chair and threw her against the wall, a feeling of dread coming over her. He pressed his body against hers. He grabbed her jaw, forcing his mouth on hers. “I don’t think you heard me, Lizzie. I love you. You promised that you would be my wife.”

“But I’m with JC now.”

“He doesn’t love you. He’ll never love you, not like I do.”

She used all of her strength to push Miles off her, throwing him onto the opposite wall. “GET OFF ME!” She stepped towards the stairwell, turning to find him standing, holding a pistol in his hand.

“If I can’t have you, no one can.” A gunshot rang out as a flash of light filled the room.

She sat in a hospital bed, Craig spoon-feeding her orange jello. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. You were shot.”

She felt a sting not unlike the bee sting she had at camp when she was 11 in her left arm. “Where’s my mom?”

“We couldn’t reach Josh. We tried to call him, but we kept getting his answering machine.” Maurice mushed up the green jello before he offered her a spoonful. “Your dad will be here in a moment.”

JC ran down the corridor, into the view of the room’s window.

“WAIT! JOSH! JC! I’M IN HERE,” she screamed as she watched him look around the corridor.

She awoke suddenly. She was lying naked in a bath towel, her pillow wet. She touched her left arm, feeling her unbroken skin. “Shit…”

JC was lying on the couch, watching a replay of a football game on TV, a purring Linus sleeping in front of him on the quilt.

“Baby?” Ellie called out in worry. She carefully stepped down the stairs, wearing his sweater from before. “Baby, are you OK?”

He muted the TV. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

She crawled on top of him. “I’m sorry. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I’m so scared I’m going to lose you. Sometimes, I get real stupid and think that if I’m the one who gives you up, it might not hurt as much. You’re one of the few things I feel like I can’t get back or replace.”

“You’ve already won me back once.” He turned over, putting his arms around her. “Who’s to say you wouldn’t be able to do it again?”

"Why did you take me back?"

"I liked you...I also hated the idea of going through another break up so soon after another one."

They lay in silence for a moment, only the sound of Linus jumping from the couch and sharpening his claws on his cat tree filling the apartment. "I'm not happy. I don't mean it as in I'm not happy with you. I mean it in a sense that I feel like I should be happier." She turned her head and kissed his chest. "You're the love of my life, and we're getting married and all I can think about is the thousand of ways this could blow up in my face."

"You can't be ecstatic about everything all the time."

"Yeah, but I feel like things should be better, they should feel better."

"Baby, look at me." He gently lifted her chin. "We're not perfect, our relationship isn't perfect, but it's the best we can do. All of this is the best we can do, and I'm happy with it, just like I'm happy with you. You're not perfect and I'm OK with that. I didn't fall in love with you because you were this carbon copy of the ultimate woman. I fell in love with you because you're exactly who you are, no one else. One thousand shit days with you is worth one perfect day with you or anyone else. You're exactly who I want you to be, my Ellie, no one else, and I don't want it any other way."

"OK."

"Baby...baby, listen to me." He sat up and pulled her until she was sitting across from him. He placed his hands on each side of her cheeks, pressing his nose to hers. "It's OK, we're OK."

"What if you're just saying this shit so I'll stay with you?"

"If I knew you weren't in love with me, I would let you go."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Are you saying I would force you to stay with me so I could drag you along, slowly crushing your spirit, or something?"

"Well...yeah."

He got off the couch, taking her hand and removing her engagement ring. "Fine, I'm done. It's over, we're over. We're not getting married and I want you out by Monday."

"...baby."

"No, I'm being serious. If you genuinely don't want to be with me, you can go. Be free."

She sat in silence, her mind blank with shock. "No, I love you."

"You can love someone you don't want to be with."

"OK, then I'm not leaving."

"I'll have you removed."

Tears came to her eyes. "I...What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to choose what you want, what you truly want more than anything else and I want you to follow that. But, BUT, if you don't choose me, it's over. I'm not giving you another chance."

"But..."

"I already gave you two, no more."

She made a confused whimper. "I...I can fix it. Let me fix it."

"Then choose me."

She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah."

"HA! I fucking knew it." He bent down and kissed her.

"Was that a prank?"

"I don't know what that was." He stood over her, holding her in his arms.

"It's one of the shittiest things you've ever done."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." He gently kissed the crown of her head.

“Can I have my ring back?”

He got down on one knee, holding the ring out to her. “Will you marry me?”

She made a gasp of feigned shock. "Really? Me?"

"Yes, you." He slipped the ring on her finger.

"Why, isn't this the most beautiful and decadent ring I have ever seen?" She giggled as she kissed him.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, it is."

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005.

JC and Justin were drinking tea at the kitchen table as Ellie returned home from work. “Where’s my baby?” Ellie stopped as she saw the two of them.

“Hey. How was your day?” JC greeted her as she placed her keys on the table by the living room entrance.

“Good, I had to go and help Maurice buy a coffee pot for the breakroom during lunch. Where’s Linus? He usually meets me at the door.”

“Right here.” Justin pointed to the purring mass in his lap. “If you don’t mind, we fed him around 15 minutes ago. He’s the most lovely kitty.”

“Uh…thanks.” Ellie took off her jacket with a befuddled look. “I’ll tell him that.”

“JC was telling me that you hand-reared him as a kitten.”

“Um, yeah. I was volunteering at the veterinarian hospital that takes care of my mom’s horses for a school paper assignment over the 1999-2000 winter break. Someone brought him in just before Christmas. He would’ve been three weeks then.”

“Do you know what happened to his mother?”

“No idea. They just found him underneath a house. They couldn’t find anyone to foster him, so I volunteered.”

“Where did the name Linus come from?”

“They brought him in wrapped in a blue baby blanket. Louis, the head vet, just started calling him Linus. I guess it just stuck.” Ellie lifted her briefcase onto the table and started sifting through her work papers, trying to make herself look busy and unconcerned by their surprise guest. “It’s nice of you to stop by. You haven’t seen the apartment yet, have you?”

“Yeah. You’ve done a great job with the place.”

“Um, thanks. Uh…I was just about to put dinner on. I mean you can stay if you want, I don’t mind, but it’s OK if you have other plans. I was thinking spaghetti, maybe.”

“Sure, thanks.”

JC collected the mugs off the table and put them into the sink. “Justin came over this afternoon with some ideas for a song. Since I was in town, he was wondering if I wanted to work on it with him.”

Ellie nodded her head. “Great.”

“I’m also starting a label. I also came here to offer JC a deal, if that’s what he wants.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I’ll have to talk it over with Eric first. It’s another option though.” JC returned to his seat by Justin. “I was actually hoping maybe the two of you could talk things over a little bit, address the issues you have with each other. The two of you are both very important to me, and I want you to get along.”

Ellie sat at the table across from JC. “OK.”

Justin did his best to straighten himself without disrupting Linus. “I know I’ve said some things in the past that may have offended you and I’m very sorry for that. But I’ve been trying really hard to be nice to you and you keep treating me like a jerk.”

“Excuse me..?”

“That’s the thing, Ellie.” JC drew a circle into the tabletop with his fingertip. “He’s trying to be nice and you always flare up at him. I know he reminds you a lot of Miles—“

“He doesn’t remind me of Miles.”

“You said he did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. After the game.”

“I said he was a lot like Miles. I didn’t say he reminded me of Miles.”

“It’s the exact same thing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

JC sighed in frustration, running his fingers through his hair. Justin tried to move the conversation forward. “OK, well what things do I do that remind you of your ex?”

“Miles was…is…can be extremely manipulative. Some of the things you’ve said and done are rather similar to some of the stuff he would pull.”

“Like what?”

“A lot of what you say to me is very passive aggressive and backhanded, like you’re trying to eat away at my confidence—“

“I’m not trying to.”

“Let me finish.” Ellie pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her hand, tucking the other into it. “Also, thinking back on it, the roses and the necklace were very similar to something Miles would do. If he knew he had done something wrong, he would try to buy my forgiveness.”

“I didn’t mean it in that way,” Justin tried to defend himself. “I thought we got off on the wrong foot, and I was just trying to smooth things over.”

“Another thing about that, Miles would do everything he could to assert himself over other guys.” Ellie explained, “Buying me things I know JC wouldn’t get me makes it look like you’re trying to do the same.”

“I have a girlfriend. I love Cameron very much and I wouldn’t dream of hurting her or trying to come between the two of you.”

JC furrowed his brow and angled his jaw, silently making his feelings known.

“It doesn’t matter. My main priority in this relationship is JC and how he feels. I don’t care how you feel in this situation.”

“Well, if JC and I become business partners again, we’re going to have to find a way to get on. Especially if you want to be his wife.”

“I’m not going away just because you don’t like me. I’m here as long as Joshua wants me here.”

“I think that’s up to JC.” Justin put emphasis on JC’s initials. “We’ve been best friends for thirteen years now. I only want what’s best for him.”

“Mmm…I wonder if Tony agrees.”

JC got up from the table and got a large saucepan from a kitchen cabinet, banging it into the sink as he filled it with water. “WILL YOU TWO JUST FUCKING STOP IT!?”

Linus awoke in fright, running underneath the couch away from the noise. Justin turned to follow him.

“Leave him,” Ellie advised, “unless you want him to claw your face off.”

Later that night, after Justin left and a little too much wine, Ellie finished tying JC’s hands behind the dining chair he was sitting on shirtless. He repeated the ground rules Ellie had for what was about to play out. “OK, so you can touch me all you want, but I can’t touch you?”

Ellie placed a bowl of ice onto the end table behind him. “Yeah. I can do whatever I want to you, but you can’t touch me.”

“Why are we doing this?”

“Because you need to be punished. You’ve been a very bad man, and you need to be disciplined.”

“Can’t you just spank me or something?”

She kissed him. “I’m afraid that just won’t be enough this time. You’ve made me feel very uncomfortable these last few weeks, and now I get to make you feel the same.”

She walked over to the stereo and pressed play. She slowly grooved her hips as she danced for him, turning away as she undid her skirt, stepping out of it. She leaned against the back of the couch, twisting as she squatted down, bouncing a few times before she stood back up, revealing a hint of her black panties. She stepped towards him, slowly undoing each button of the white dress shirt of his she had chosen that morning. She towered over him as she finished, running her fingers up the lace bodice she had underneath, touching herself the way she knew he would if he could. She slowly slipped the shirt off, dropping it to the floor behind her. She unclipped the suspenders from her stockings and started to undo the bodice from the front, making sure she was as close to him as she could get without being in contact with him. She stepped away from him, playing with her breasts before she let the garment drop behind her. She turned away from him and let down her hair, shaking it free as she started to pull down her panties. She bent over to make sure he saw her pussy, holding her ass in front of his face.

“Fuck…” he whispered as she sat on his lap, murmuring as she felt his cock through his jeans. She grinded into him a few times before she stood back up, standing over him as she reached over to grab a cube of ice. She lightly traced his lips, running it down his neck and stomach. She kneeled down in front of him and licked the trail of water through the hair on his abdomen. She bit lightly underneath his belly button, looking up at him, biting her lip as he attentively watched. She guided the cube underneath his waistband, smiling as he flinched. She bit the top of his fly and pulled each button apart, revealing the hardening bulge of black cotton. She flicked her tongue along the shaft peeking out of the opening in the front of his briefs. She pulled down the band and traced her tongue along his length as she pulled his cock out. She rubbed her fingers up and down the shaft as she took the engorged head into her mouth. She moaned as she played with him, licking him, sucking him, kissing him. She deep-throated him exactly six times, listening to him, trying to gauge if he was going to come. She withdrew the throbbing organ from her mouth, looking up at him and the want in his eyes.

“Baby…please?” he whispered stupidly. She dropped him into his lap and stood up. She inched as close to him as she could. She grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pressed his face into her pubic mound.

“Can you smell it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to taste it?”

He murmured in agreement. He lightly touched her pussy with his tongue before she pulled it away.

“Tough.” She groaned as she played with her breasts before she started rubbing her pussy, gripping the chair. She cried out as she reached climax, spreading her wetness over her bare skin. She ran her fingers across his mouth as she dared him to taste her.

He snapped, freeing himself from her restraints and pulling her into his lap. He pressed her body as close to himself as he could as he kissed her. “Fuck me now. If you don’t, I will bend you over this chair and do it myself.”

She giggled as he tenderly kissed her neck and shoulders. She brushed her hair behind her and kissed him, softly flicking his tongue with hers. She kissed his neck as he held her, pressing into the flesh of her waist with his fingers. He motioned her up, guiding himself into her. “Slowly, make this last as long as you can.”

She started slowly pulling herself upwards, pushing back down before he left her. She stopped as he grunted, waiting until he signalled her to start again.

“Go on.” He beckoned her, tightening his grip on her as he came closer to climax. “Stop.” He let out a pained exhale as she stopped.

“It’s OK if you finish.” She pressed her lips to his. “Show me how much you love me.” She held him close as she started again. He dug his fingers into her as he burned, crying out as he finally came. They sat there, holding each other and kissing as they came back down from their high.

She stood up when she felt she was steady enough to. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her from getting away from him. “Bend down,” he growled.

“Oh, God,” she whispered as she laid herself over his lap. He swiftly spanked her ass exactly six times.

“That’s for not letting me come.”

Monday, October 31st, 2005 - Halloween.

Ellie carefully undid her hair from each of the hot rollers and pinned the ringlets back into a bun at the back of her head. JC struggled to put on a pair of white riding pants. “How…do…you…get…comfortable in…these?” He flopped onto the bed. “Any advice?”

“I thought you liked tight pants?”

“I do, just not this tight. How does your mama wear these everyday?”

She pried a hairpin open with her teeth as she set a ringlet in place. “She sometimes wears jeans. Granted, there are certain appendages you have that she doesn’t.”

“I always wondered, why is there leather on the inside thighs?”

“To prevent chaffing, you’ve never dealt with saddle sore?”

He changed the subject. “What did you go as for Halloween last year?”

“Um, Catwoman. I was straight out refusing to do anything until Craig pressured me to. He always wanted to go as Selina Kyle from the classic series and he jumped at the opportunity to dress me up.” She wrapped a light blue ribbon around her head twice, pinning it into her hair. “It was just a black turtleneck, some pants, and the ears. Nothing too much, it was more about the hairstyle for Craig than anything.”

“I would’ve liked to have seen that.”

“Well, you could’ve. But you had to spend last year with…” She bared her teeth in disgust and whined. She watched him button up his fly. “Just a tip, it’s easier to tuck the shirt in before you do the fly up.”

“Why do I even need to wear this?” He shook the white dress shirt and put it on.

“Because I haven’t done a couples costume since 1999, and I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“Didn’t you and…”—he made the same noise she just had made as she alluded to his ex as he referred to hers—“ever do this.”

“No. We were always Sandy and Danny from Grease or a football player and cheerleader. You know, typical American masculine archetypes and the female equivalents.”

“You would’ve made a sexy cheerleader.”

“No, I wouldn’t have. Let’s not forget how grossly uncoordinated I am.”

“I said sexy. I didn’t mention anything about good.” He tucked the ascot underneath his waistcoat. “You know, I don’t think you’re that uncoordinated.”

“My dance teacher said I was. I think her exact words were ‘uncoordinated little pig.’” She stood up and took off the towel protecting the white, long-sleeved gown with sparse blue floral print she had hired for the occasion. “Someone with so little patience for small children shouldn’t be teaching beginners ballet.”

He straightened his waistcoat after he put on the riding boots. “So…what do you think?”

She kissed him gently on the lips, trying not to smear her lipstick. “Rather dashing, I think.”

They made their way downstairs and fed Linus before they set off, JC helping Ellie put on the overcoat he had worn the night they spent together on the 17th of February that she had claimed as her own. “I can’t wait for the snow to start falling this year. It’s always gets so pretty in winter.”

“Yeah…you know, this will probably be my first real northern winter since ‘98-99. I’ll have to take you down to D.C. for a few days.”

“I’d love that.” She watched as he locked the door and tucked the keys into his makeshift frock coat.

He offered out his arm. “Miss Bennet.”

She took his offer, intertwining her fingers with his as she locked her elbow in his. “Mr. Darcy.”

He kissed her lightly on her temple as they made their way to the elevator. “We are such fucking nerds.”