Chapter 25 - The Start of a Grand Adventure (A.K.A.: So You've Ruined Your Life)

Friday, March 3rd, 2006.
Ellie straightened her black turtleneck and black and grey plaid skirt as she stepped out of JC's Mercedes. She locked the car and walked from the garage of their L.A. home up to the bedroom. She flopped down onto the bed next to JC. "Hey."
"Hey." He stretched as he faded back in from his afternoon nap. "What time is it?"
"Just before four."
"Do you want to do go on a date or something?"
"Are you asking me out?"
"Yeah. Do you want to go up and see the sunset at the observatory?"
Ellie crinkled her nose in confusion. "That's strangely specific. We usually spend more time figuring out what we're going to do on our dates than we do actually on them."
"Ha, ha. You're the funniest person ever," JC said with sarcasm. "I thought that maybe we could have a do-over of Valentine’s or something. You haven't even opened what I got you yet."
She sat up. "What did you get me?"

He stood up and rummaged through a satchel bag, taking out an envelope and the valentine Ellie had made for him.
"Oh, you brought them with you."
He passed the envelope to her. "Don't get offended, but I put a lot of thought into this one. I want you to at least see it before you completely reject it."
She got off the bed and took her wallet out of her handbag. "Well, since we're doing this..." She trailed off as she unzipped her wallet and took something out of the secret compartment hidden in the note pocket. She handed him a quarter. “You know how I check my change after every transaction? Last Valentine’s, I bought a cup of coffee at the airport before I flew out of L.A. The barista gave me a Bicentennial quarter in my change. I’m not one hundred percent sure why I ended up keeping it, but I decided to give it to you if we made it to Valentine’s this year, ‘cause it was minted the year you were born. What do you think are the chances that it was minted on your birthday?”
“At least one in a million.” He turned over the coin in his hand, tracing the edge of it and the imprint of the colonial drummer pressed into the face.
“Do you want your valentine now?” She handed over the card she had made, a blood red heart drawn on the front with crayon.
“Thanks.” He opened it and read out the message inside. “‘Josh: Roses are red, violets are blue, honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you. Love, Ellie.’ Um, thanks.” He smiled.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do anything better. I was going to surprise you later that night, but you know…” She trailed off.
“Nah, it’s fine. Watching you masturbate was good enough.” He chuckled.
“Wait…do you remember if we used protection that morning?”
“I don’t know, why?”
“We were supposed to, ‘cause penicillin affects the effectiveness of the pill.”
“Why does it matter?”
“I’m late again. I was due on Monday. If the 14th was thirteen days before my period, it means that we had sex on the day after I was due to ovulate,” she explained. “I don't think you quite get this. There’s a very likely chance this time that I actually am pregnant.”
He flopped down on the the bed. “Holy fucking shit.”
“What do we do? We could get a test from the gas station up the road.”
“No…someone might see you.”
“No one’s going to care if I buy a pregnancy test.”
“We’re in L.A. Paparazzi are everywhere. If someone sees you…” He turned over. “They know you’re connected to me. If they see you buying a test, boom, tomorrow morning: ‘It’s Gonna Be A Baby,’ or some lame pun for a headline like that.”
“That could happen anywhere. I’m not waiting four days to see if I’m pregnant.”
He sighed. “Fine.” He sat up just as she got off the bed. “Don’t forget your…” He was cut off as she made her way back downstairs.

Ellie thumbed through the banknotes in her wallet, collecting together a five dollar note and two dollar notes. She folded the cash in her palm and got out of the car.
“I’m going to take a test,” she told JC as he put gas into the tank.
“OK,” he responded.
“OK.” She walked into the store of the gas station and made her way to the personal hygiene section. She took in a deep breath and sharply exhaled before she quickly took a box off the shelf. She walked over to check out and requested the key to the toilet. The clerk rummaged under the counter before he presented a key attached to a soup ladle. Ellie groaned as he swiped the package.
“$5.99 please,” he requested, waiting for Ellie to hand over six dollars. He pressed a few buttons on the till and handed over a lone penny. “Thank you.”

Ellie slipped into the passenger seat, shoving the box into the glovebox.
“What’s wrong?” JC asked as he turned the ignition on.
“I don’t want to find out in a gas station bathroom.”
“Do you want to go home?”
“I can wait a few days. Maybe I’m just late again. I just…” She made a dismayed sigh. “I’m sorry I ruined your date night.”
“Do you want—“
“I don’t know, OK!” she yelled.
“Don’t snap at me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry! You’re not the one who might have to push a human out of her…you know.”
“Vagina?” he corrected her.
“Well, yeah.” She slinked down into her seat as he drove into the garage.

He put the car into park and put on the hand brake. “Is termination an option?”
“What?”
“Do you want this baby? If it is a baby.”
She put her head into her hands. “I…I don’t know.”
“It’s either a yes or a no, Ellie.”
“I don’t fucking know! I’m not even sure I want to find out right now, let alone if I want to kill it and have it sucked out of me.” She leaned back into her seat. “I feel sick.”
“In what way?”
“In a ball of nervous energy way. Do you want this baby?”
“I love how we’re not even sure if we’re having a kid, but we’re already talking like we are.”
“I’m not going to have it if you don’t want it.”
“Do you want it?”
“I don’t want to pressure you into having a baby—“
“I want it…At least I think I do.” He held her hand.
“OK…let’s go find out if we’re having a baby.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck as he kissed her.

“It’s negative,” she mumbled as she threw the used test into the bin.
“OK,” he said before he returned to nervously biting his nails.
“There’s something wrong with me. I’ve been late three times in the last year, and I’ve taken three negative pregnancy tests.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.” He sat next to her on the rim of the bath. “What do we do now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we’re just not ready yet.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“I know.” She stood up and walked into the bedroom.

Sunday, March 5th, 2006.
JC finished tying his bowtie as Ellie stepped out of the closet wearing a tight-fitting, floor-length, white strapless gown with a ivory lace overlay.
“You went with the white one.”
“Yeah,” she responded as she put a pair of pearl earrings in. “I still haven't gotten my period, so, knowing my luck, wearing a fourteen thousand dollar white gown might coax it out.” She put on the pearls her father gave her, then fluffed up her hair, brushing the soft waves behind her shoulders. “Anyway, I want a formal portrait of us.”
“Why can’t we just get one done?”
“But this way is free.”
“For you…”
She stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. “Says you.” She started to collect together her things.
“Hold up,” he called out to stop her, handing over the now tattered but still unopened envelope.
“I already know what it is.”
“No, you don’t.”
“You’ve had it stashed in your sock drawer since the eleventh of last month. I saw you slip it in there when you got home from picking up the groceries. It’s a pearl bracelet.”
“Ah, you think it’s a pearl bracelet.”
She pursed her lips, opening the envelope. She took out a dark blue pouch and opened it. “I said that I knew it was a pearl bracelet,” she said as she ran the bracelet over her fingertips.
He pointed back down at the envelope. “Look at the card.”

She huffed, pulling out the postcard from the envelope. She read out the message scribed into the back in black ink. “As soon as I saw you, I knew a grand adventure was going to happen.”
“It’s a quote from Winnie the Pooh, so?”
“What was your favourite book as a child?”
“Winnie the Pooh.” She sighed. “We’re going to be late.”
He took the bracelet off her and put it on her right wrist. “I know you’re pissy right now, but I do mean that. I may not have known it at the time, but I knew you were something special.” He kissed her forehead. “Look at the other side.”

She turned the card over, chuckling at the photo of her and JC in bed together.
“It’s first photo I took of us, from March last year. I found a way to convert digital files onto film, then I asked Craig to help me develop it onto a postcard backing. I got you the bracelet to throw you off the scent.”
“You know, you could’ve just printed out a photo with a printer.”
“I wanted to do it this way. Anyone can get you diamonds or magnolias, but only I would go to the trouble to do something this needlessly complicated.”

She stepped away from him as he kissed her forehead again. "We're such assholes."
"Baby..."
"No, we are. We obviously love each other a lot still, but we keep trying to hurt each other." She sat down at the foot of the bed. "Maybe marriage isn't for us."
He sat down next to her. "What are you saying?"
"I want to go back to New York alone. You can keep the apartment and I'll start looking for a place to rent."
"I'm not divorcing you."
"Then why wait until everything fucks up?"

He grabbed her and deeply kissed her, holding her as tight as he could. "Because you're the reason I feel alive right now. I've never hated someone or felt so incredibly frustrated by anyone but you. I've also never found someone so completely adorable, nor have I been so deeply in love whilst being excruciatingly constantly turned on. I would rather ride this out and see it crash into flames than not even turn the car on."
"We're going to ruin each other."
"We've already done that."
She struggled away from him. "It's not supposed to be that way."
"Nothing's supposed to be easy all the time. No one's happy all the time."
"If you're not happy, then just leave."
"No, I'm happy." He grabbed her arm.
She shook his hand away. "Don't touch me. Let me go."
"I'm not leaving you." He stood up and walked over to her. "I would rather die than leave you."
"Don't pull that bullshit."
"It's not bullshit. I mean it." He grabbed her before she could walk away. "What's wrong? What do I need to change?" He turned her head so she was looking into his eyes. "Ellie, tell me how I can fix it. What's wrong?"
She stared up at him, waiting for him to start crying. "I don't fit into your life."
"I'll make you fit. I'll fit it around you."

She stepped away from him. "I'll give you tonight. One last night where you can be happy. If I don't feel like staying in the morning, I'm leaving." She collected her purse. "Just so you know, I will call the police if you make it difficult for me." She quietly slipped through the door.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" He flung a pillow across the room. He collapsed when he saw the photo on the bed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking shit."

Ellie and JC spent most of the Oscars viewing party curled up together on a couch in a corner. Despite her threat, they silently but tenderly held each other, exchanging small caresses and kisses of affection.
After a few hours, he softly whispered into her ear, "Can I please have one last dance?"
"OK," she agreed as he pulled them both up, leading her to the dance floor.

They rocked back and forth to the slow Billie Holiday ballad. "’Stormy Weather,’ fitting," she commented as she held herself close to him.
"You know, the song's about how lonely she was without her lover," he whispered.
"I know." She lifted her head and rested it on his shoulder. "Eva's here."
"Just ignore her."
"I can't when she's giving me the most snot-nosed fucking stare right now." She stepped away from him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked.
"Everyone's—"
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE! ONE MINUTE YOU'RE FINE, NEXT MINUTE YOU PUSH ME AWAY, THEN YOU PULL ME BACK—"
"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, OK? MAYBE I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INSANE, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. YELLING AT ME IN PUBLIC ISN'T GOING TO SOLVE ANYTHING!" She started to walk away.
"Ellie..."
"NO!" She held her finger in front of him. "I'm not doing this right now." She turned to walk outside.

Ellie shivered in the cold as she held the glass holding a lashing of bourbon on ice. She sat on the edge of the hotel's wall overlooking the city. She flinched as she took a sip, groaning as the fire hot liquor flowed down her throat.
"Trouble in paradise, huh?" Eva slunk up to her in a gown as red as the flames of hell themselves.
"Fuck off."
"Wearing white, I see? Like the pretty Southern bride that you are? We get it, you're fucking married. You got the man. You don't need to fucking flaunt it all over the place."
Ellie cradled her drink like she cradled her fantasies of pushing Eva over the wall down to the canyon below. "I'm really not in the mood to deal with your drunken bullshit right now."
"Do you know why he's even with you? Because you're a safe little good girl. He can't handle a woman like me. You have no idea how much ecstasy I used to bring him."
"We get it, Eva," Justin interrupted her. "You're the sexiest, most amazing lover in the world and JC's a fool for choosing Ellie over you. Just leave her alone."
"This doesn't concern you," Eva hissed at him.
"And it concerns you? I'm not standing by and letting you humiliate my best friend's wife because you can't get over the fact that he rejected you. Go away and find some lizard eggs to feast on or something."
"She doesn't even like you."
"Nobody fucking cares, Eva. Fuck off!" Justin sat next to Ellie on the wall. She grabbed his hand and dug into it as they watched Eva attempt to walk away with drunken dignity, stumbling as she passed JC at his vantage point by the door.
Ellie burst into tears, diving into Justin's chest. "I'm so sorry, I fucked up."
Justin carefully held her. "It's OK," he whispered as he rubbed her back to comfort her.
"I better get her home." JC slid his head underneath Ellie's arm, lifting her up to carry her out of the hotel.

He held her in silence as she cried the way home. He carried her upstairs and undressed her, exchanging the gown for a oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. He carefully removed her jewellery before he placed it on the dresser. He retrieved some makeup wipes from the bathroom and carefully removed the mask of foundation, rouge and lipstick from her face, patting her mascara away with her tears. He threw off the bedclothes and slowly lifted her into bed, tucking her in before he lay down behind her, holding her as she cried herself to sleep before he kissed her good night.
"One last kiss."

Monday, March 6th, 2006.
Ellie awoke suddenly with the urge to vomit. Unable to find the strength to stand up, she rolled out of bed onto the floor and tried to crawl her way to the bathroom as slow as she could without vomiting. She lifted the toilet seat up and heavily gasped for air. Her stomach clenched before she threw up what little she had left from the night before.

JC dreaded the idea of waking up. If only I could go back to sleep, he thought as he knew he was alone. He opened his eyes and saw the space next to him empty. He inhaled, trying to smell if she might be cooking downstairs, but the stale air carried nothing.
"BABY?" he cried out, his heart still as he waited for a response. Nothing came. He threw the bedclothes off him and sprung out of bed, starting to plan his attempt at winning her back.
"If I leave now, I might be able to catch her at the airport," he said as he pulled a pair of jeans on. He stopped as he found Ellie curled up in the foetal position on the bathroom floor. "Oh, thank God."
"Baby, I need you to take me to a doctor."

JC clicked the pen as he started to fill in Ellie's details into the admission form, Ellie resting her head on his lap on the blue vinyl bench of the medical centre.
"What are your symptoms?"
"Vomiting, nausea—"
"Doesn't one cancel out the other?"
"Just put both down. Headache and stomach cramps."
"Are you still late?" he asked as he scratched “late period” into the form.
"Yeah...stop leaning the clipboard on my head."

The doctor was in his early forties with dark curly hair. "Just take a seat over here." He smiled as JC carefully help Ellie up on the examination table. "My name is Dr. Levinson. Let's see what we have here..." He flipped through the form, placing it on his desk as he started to collect together a butterfly needle and a vial for blood collection. He placed both into a kidney shaped container and went about washing his hands and putting on rubber gloves.
"OK, Elizabeth, I'm going to take a little blood just to rule out whether or not you're pregnant. Are you left- or right-handed?"
She lifted up her right hand. "We took a test on Friday; I'm not pregnant."
The doctor slipped a nylon band around her left arm, pulling the clasp tight. "I know, but sometimes home pregnancy tests are wrong. I want to cancel out pregnancy before I can pursue further tests. The obvious thing is usually the most likely." He massaged her arm to find a vein, carefully inserting the needle. He waited until he felt he had drawn enough blood, then disconnected the vial and told Ellie to press a cotton ball down on her wound as he started the prepare the paperwork. "I need you to check if the information is correct."
Ellie looked over the information on the vial and its responding form. "It's fine."
"Great, initial here, sign here. Thanks, let's get this up to pathology." He slipped the vial into a snap lock bag and called a nurse into the room. "Take this up to the lab, Hamish. Tell them it's urgent."

The doctor and JC whispered in conversation as Ellie drifted in and out of sleep.
"I know things are scary right now, but once we get an idea of what we're dealing with, everything will be fine."
"Are you sure it's not a hangover with food poisoning or something?"
"It very well could be. But since you've eaten the same things over the last few days and you're fine, I say it's just very unlikely."
"What about the test, though?"
"Again, you have no idea how common false negatives are. I don't want to get your hopes up, but sometimes it just fails. If she only around five weeks, like you said, it might have just been a little too early to get an accurate read." The doctor looked over at Ellie napping. "Is this something she wants?"
"I don't know. This isn't something we planned. Whenever the topic comes up, she goes back and forth."
"She has a while to figure out her decision." The doctor paused as he picked up the phone, nodding as the results came through.

JC placed the shopping bag on the bed next to Ellie. "The girl working the register congratulated me. She says that a lot of people are starting to find out about their Valentine's babies."
She looked up from the two photos she was holding. She held each of them up. "Before..." She held up the picture of her and JC in bed. "After..." She held up the sonogram of the blastocyst that was to become their first born.
"Ha, ha, very funny: sex leads to babies."
"Why didn't you just let me finish myself off? We were so close at avoiding this."
"Hey, hey...you watch the sexiest woman in the world touch herself as she begs for you to fuck her and you try leaving her alone." He crawled into the bed next to her.
She started to dig through the bag, looking over the crackers, ginger ale and pregnancy vitamins. She tsked as she lifted the white onesie out of the bag. "Of course, she congratulated you. You literally bought a tiny little onesie, with a tiny little baby bunny on it."
"Do you think it's gender neutral enough?"
"Yeah...let's do the nursery in bunnies."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." He watched as she laid down next to him. "Do you really want this?"
She nodded. "Yeah, it's all I've ever wanted." She intertwined her fingers with his. "To be married to a sweet guy like you and to be a mommy. Do you want this?"
He stopped in thought. "Yeah. I think so."