Chapter 36 - A New Normal

Monday, October 30th, 2006.

A Englishman with a thick Liverpudlian accent sits on a couch in a trailer wearing a blue and white polo shirt and jeans, his dark brown, almost black hair cut into a shaggy mop. He sits across from JC and introduces the interview.

“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m Ted Campbell of MTV UK and I’m sitting here with the fantastic JC Chasez on the set of his next music video for ‘You Ruined Me.’ Good afternoon.”

“Good afternoon.” JC sits in a white singlet and an dark blue naval flight suit, the arms of the flight suit tied around his waist.

Ted: “We were kind of expecting you to do a little promo in the UK a few weeks back, but you cancelled. You kind of disappeared there.”

JC: “Well, um, I had a baby…Well my wife had a baby, my wife had my baby…our baby. Me and my wife’s baby…”

Ted: “Cool, cool. What did you have?”

JC: “A little girl: Charlotte Riley.”

Ted: “How’s the first weeks of fatherhood been like?”

JC: “OK, OK. Kind of all over the place. We have good nights and bad nights. We’ll have a day where the morning’s fine and that night will be absolutely awful. We’ll have a day where everything’s fine except a hour or so around lunch. It really depends.”

Ted: “How’s your wife, Elizabeth isn’t it?”

JC: “Yeah, Elizabeth.”

Ted: “How’s she handling it?”

JC: “She’s doing OK.”

Ted: “Do you guys have a nanny or whatever?”

JC: “No. My wife’s kind of doing it on her own.” He leans on the back of the couch, his head resting in his hand. “Like I said, there are some rough patches, but she’s doing a great job.”

Ted: “Did you bring them to L.A. with you for the shoot?”

JC: “Yeah, yeah. They’re back at the house, Lance refusing to leave so he can dote on them.” He laughs.

Ted: “How has Lance and the other guys from *NSYNC welcomed the baby?”

JC: “Great. Justin and Joey swung ‘round back in New York; Joey’s been giving lots of advice and stuff. Chris hasn’t seen the baby yet, but we’ll be in Orlando for Thanksgiving, so we’ll see him then. Since we’re in L.A. right now, Lance has been doing whatever he can to help, getting groceries, making sure we have things like diapers and wipes. He even offered to drive us home from the airport and help set up what we need and whatever. That’s one thing I love about him. He’d give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.”

Ted: “Lance recently announced to the world that he was gay. How have you guys taken the news?”

JC straightens back up. “I mean, what can you do? He’s fine the way he is and it’s not like we can change him. We can only really give our support.”

Ted: “How did everyone react to such a public outing?”

JC: “A few of the people I’m friends with in New York through my wife are gay men with a history in gay rights and the gay media, so when it came out that Lance was possibly going to be outed, I saw quite a few…heated discussions about whether or not it was OK and whether or not it was an abuse of Lance’s right to privacy and his rights as an American. That was kind of cool to see that kind of reaction. When you’ve been in this game as long as I have, there’s definitely this feeling that you can’t keep anything to yourself, especially this kind of secret. Because it’s classified as celebrity gossip, there’s this feeling that it has to be out there, you know? It was cool to see someone say: ‘You know, if he wants to keep this a secret, he should be able to.’”

Ted: “Do you think he did the right thing?”

JC: “I mean, I can’t make his choices for him. He did what was right for him. The only thing I can do is say: ‘Hey, I’m with you on this.’ You know?”

Ted: “Yeah, mate, yeah.”

JC: “Yeah.”

Ted: “Cool.” Ted looks through a collection of A4 pieces of paper folded in half. “So, what we’re doing here today is actually filming the video for your next single, ‘You Ruined Me.’ Can you tell me why you’re wearing such a dapper outfit?”

JC looks down at the flight suit. “Um, yeah. This is, or at least a replication of a U.S. Navy flight suit, you know, the overalls pilots wear when they go up.”

Ted nods. “Yeah”

JC: “Basically, I play a pilot that catches his girlfriend cheating on him when he comes home from duty, so he ends up taking what is basically a suicide mission ‘cause his heart’s broken and he doesn’t see a reason to live or whatever.”

Ted: “Does everything turn out OK?”

JC: “We’ve kind of designed it where it’s kind of opened ended. He’s in a bad place, but there’s also the possibility at a happy ending, you know?”

Ted: “Does Elizabeth like the concept?”

JC laughs. “She actually wrote it. Since she’s off work on maternity leave, she’s kind of climbing up the walls in boredom. She also recently replaced her computer, so she’s writing these incredibly over-the-top short stories at a rate around one a week or so. She, of course, begs me to read them and I was just kind of thinking that this one sounded like a cool idea for a video. I emailed it off to my team and the director and they thought so, too.”

Ted: “Cool, cool. How would you say that the videos from this album are different from your first?”

JC: “Honestly, not that I want to sound pretentious or anything, but the videos from my first album, at least the first three, were trying to conform to the idea, for lack of a better term, of what a male pop star was at the time. I’m not going to name names, but just the whole idea that they’re some kind of rock star/gangster/sex god type thing. Something that I kind of don’t really have the ability to pull off, at least, that I don’t feel comfortable trying to be. With my fourth video, ‘Dear Goodbye,’ because I was working with a design house to promote their spring/summer line or whatever, I kind of had someone else come in and dictate everything. Like how they wanted me to wear the clothes, how everything should be set up, how I should have my hair for the shoot and so forth, because they were taking shots from the video to use in the commercials. Not that it’s a bad thing, but they were trying to make art instead of what I had set out to do with the first three. With those I was just trying to make some quote unquote cool videos.”

Ted: “Do you think they’re cool now?”

JC pauses in thought. “I think they’re great relics of their time.” He laughs. “I mean, it’s like *NSYNC. We had some dorky videos at the beginning; I think we had a few towards the end as well, but it is what it is.” He shrugs. “I did the best I could with them. I mean, I was on the freaking Mickey Mouse Club. I would be ashamed of most of my career if I fretted about whether or not my work has aged well.

As for your question about how the videos from this album are different from my last, I actually want to tell some stories this time around instead of just making some cool setups.”

Ted: “How does that tie in with the album?”

JC: “My last album was kind of all over the place. What I kind of wanted to do on this one was tell a cohesive story. I mean, every song is self-contained, nothing bleeds into anything else—unlike some people—but it is intended to tell a much larger story as a whole. Each song is a chapter in a much larger story.”

Ted: “Have you thought of a name yet?”

JC: “Either Kate or The Story of Kate.”

Ted: “Who’s Kate?”

JC laughs. “No one in particular. It’s not the story of just one relationship; it’s kind of a mutated recount of just some of the stuff I’ve gone through in this crazy thing called love. Some good stuff and some bad. But I’m not coming for blood or anything.”

Ted: “Should anyone be worried?”

JC purses his lips. “No one I can think of.” He laughs. “Honestly, some people are just going to assume the whole thing’s about them. I can think of someone in particular, but they would be wrong. For example, I fell in love and got married whilst I was making this record, so some songs are about my wife, so they would be wrong to think that the whole album’s about them.”

Ted: “Does your wife know what songs are about her?”

JC: “There’s this one I did with Justin, ‘God Bless America.’ It’s an ode to how amazing Southern women can be. My wife’s from Louisiana, so there’s an obvious example. There’s this other song, ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane.’ I actually wrote the lyrics right before Christmas last year on a flight from New York to L.A. about leaving the person who you now consider your home. It could be deemed another ‘long night on the road’ touring ballad-type thing, but it’s something really special to me.”

Ted nods. “Cool.”

JC: “Yeah.”

Ted: “You actually got married right before Christmas, right? Can you tell us a little about that?”

JC: “Um…yeah. We were engaged for about five months, and we kind of just decided to get married one day. We were trying to plan a traditional wedding, but I guess we would’ve had to wait a bit too long if we went down that route. We did a little civil ceremony in New York and had the reception down in Florida.”

Ted: “What did you do?”

JC: “We had a crab boil on New Year’s Eve. My father-in-law was an army cook back in Vietnam, so he can easily cater something like that. We were already planning to do something that night anyway. We just dressed up a little and said some sentimental stuff, then had cake. It was cool.”

Ted: “What do you think of the reaction to the whole thing?”

JC: “My dad was NOT cool with it,” he jokes. “Other than that, we’ve seen nothing but support for our decision. One thing I’ve been kind of hurt by was the reaction to my wife’s dress. I posted some photos on my Friendspace or whatever, you know, ‘cause I’m proud of them, and some of my fans were saying that it was tacky or whatever.”

Ted: “What did you do about it?”

JC: “Nothing really. I just kind of said that it was her mother’s wedding dress, which it was. ”

Ted: “That’s sweet.”

JC: “Yeah.”

Ted: “Any plans to tour?”

JC: “Probably mid-next year. When the baby’s a little older.”

Ted: “What can we expect from the show?”

JC: “I’m kind of known for my dancing. I was a dancer before anything else, so that’s still going to be a big part of the show, but I’ll also like to incorporate more instrumental stuff in there. Basically a Justin Timberlake show with 1 percent of the budget.” He laughs.

Ted: “Do you think you make up for it?”

JC: “I think I do, yeah.”

Ted reaches out to shake JC’s hand. “Great, I can’t wait to see you next time you’re in London. Thanks for talking with MTV UK.”

JC: “No problem.”

Ted: “Cool, cool. I’m Ted Campbell, I’ve been talking here with JC Chasez, and you’ve been watching MTV News UK, signing out.”

JC waves to the camera.

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006.

JC climbed the stairs up to the master bedroom of his L.A. house to find Ellie reading a Stephen King novel as she sat up in bed.

“Hey.” He dropped a gym bag by the doorway to the wardrobe. “I didn’t think you’d still be up.”

“I just put the baby down. I thought I’d try waiting up for you a little bit. Surprised you’re home so early.”

“The director got everything he needed. He sent everyone home for the night.”

“Is there anything you need to do?”

“I got a call from Eric. He was wondering if I was interested in doing a radio show on Friday.” He entered the wardrobe to change. “One of the big ticket acts dropped out last minute.”

“What did you say?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“What do you think?”

“If you’re OK with it, I was thinking of going. I’d only be gone a day or so, fly out Thursday night, fly back in Saturday morning.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “Are you OK with that?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”

Friday, November 3rd, 2006.

A radio jingle played before the radio host started up. “Hey guys, this is Benny, your ever faithful Drive-time host, here on Detroit’s premier pop station, 97.1 FM. Joining me this hour is the first solo *NSYNC member to hit number 1, JC Chasez. Hey man!”

JC answered, “Hey.”

“How are you doing this fine November morn?”

“I’m good, I’m good. A little tired, but OK.”

“Rumour has it you’ve got a little one in the house.”

“A little one…” JC repeated in a faux naive tone. “You mean the cat?..OH! The baby!”

“Yeah, the baby.”

“OK, the baby.” JC nodded. “Yeah, there’s a baby.”

“How old is it?”

“Um…She’s one month tomorrow. Charlotte.”

“Charlotte Chasez.”

“Yep.”

“Did you pick the name, or?” Benny asked.

“My wife suggested it and I agreed on it. It’s a very pretty name.”

“Very pretty. Are you helping out? How many diapers are you changing?”

“When I’m home, a few a day, but I haven't in a day or two.”

“‘Cause you’re here in Detroit?” Benny asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are they here with you?”

“No, Elizabeth is home in New York. Some appointment or something.”

“Is everything going well?” Benny asked with concern.

“Yeah, just a check up.”

“Great.” Benny adjusted his mic. “So you’re here in Motown for 97.1’s 7th Annual Spookvember Festival. You’re performing tonight. Can you tell us anything about the show?”

“Uh, yeah. You’ve given me enough time for eight songs, so I’m doing the single, I’m doing the singles from my last album, an *NSYNC song and a Beatles cover.”

“That’s seven,” Benny pointed out.

“I might also be previewing a song from the new album.”

“Cool, any info?”

“I might want it to be a bit of a surprise,” JC said coyly.

“Really? ‘Cause a little bird told me, and by little bird I mean you told me to announce this on air today, that the song’s called ‘I’m Not Sleeping Alone.’ You gave us a little preview earlier and it’s an angsty little rock track.”

“You could say that, yeah.”

“I’ve also heard that you were shooting a video earlier this week? For this track?”

“Nah, another song.”

“When we get to hear it?”

“The single’s out in January, so we can have a two month lead in for a March album release.”

“So we’re definitely getting the album next March.”

“If you don’t, I’m leaking it myself,” JC joked. “Not really. But that weird murmur you heard was a Scotsman freaking out.”

“Is your manager Scottish?”

“No, my label head.”

“OK, OK.” Benny smirked. “You excited for tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Here’s JC’s current single, ‘Until Yesterday,’ here on Detroit’s premier pop station, 97.1 FM. Thanks for talking with us, JC.”

“No problem.”

Ellie had been sitting on the edge of the king-sized bed in JC’s hotel room for just under an hour, nervously bouncing her knees as Charley slept in the portable crib provided by the hotel, swaddled up in a jersey cocoon. Ellie knew it probably wasn't the most brilliant idea, but she had gone to the trouble of flying into Detroit to surprise JC after his show. She hoped he would enjoy the surprise, or at least appreciate the trouble she had gone through flying with a 4-week-old baby.

She perked up as she heard talking outside the room, JC wishing Carlos a goodnight as he opened the door. He jumped as she stood up. “SHIT!” He slammed backwards into the door before he turned the light on and realised it was her. “What the fuck are you doing sitting alone in the dark, Ellie! You scared the shit out of me!”

“I thought I would surprise you.”

“More like scare me to death,” he scoffed, trying to calm his breathing. “Where’s the baby?”

She pointed to the crib. “She’s sleeping, amazingly enough.”

He walked over to the crib. “Is she OK?”

“Do not wake her up. It has taken me all…God knows how long to get her settled after the flight.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed. “You know, you didn’t have to fly in.”

“I wanted to.” She stood over him, cradling his head in her hands. “I missed you. I’m allowed to miss you.”

“Yeah, but you don’t fly in last minute with a new baby—”

She interrupted him with a deep kiss, smiling as she heard him murmur as she withdrew. “I think you’ve missed me, too.” She gently pressed her hand to his crotch, feeling him start to harden. She slowly undid her fly and started to pull her pants down.

“I don’t think we should,” he said, stopping her undress.

“Really? ‘Cause your cock says otherwise.”

“It hasn’t been six weeks yet. You’re not ready.”

She angled his jaw to look up at her. “Baby, I’m ready.”

He stood up, taking his shirt off as he headed towards the bathroom. “I don’t think you are.”

“I know my body. I’m ready.”

“You could die! OK!” he snapped before he slammed the bathroom door.

Ellie sighed as Charley stirred awake. “And now you’ve waken the baby.”

Ellie was leaning back on a stack of pillows nursing Charley as JC emerged from the shower, her face tightening into an angry pout as she made eye contact with her husband. “Why did you reject me?”

“We’re not…I’m not ready to have sex yet.” He ran a towel through his hair. “And frankly I don’t think you are either.”

“Did you fuck some whore after your show or whatever?”

“NO!”

“Really, ‘cause if you didn’t, why don't you want me? Be honest, you would fuck me as hard as a steamroller if you could right now.”

“I’m tired; I just want to sleep.” He plopped down on the bed.

He sighed. “You know, there are other ways for us to be…” He spread his fingers out and pushed down the air in front of him. “Intimate.”

Ellie fixed her shirt and bra as she turned Charley over and started to rub her back to burp her. “OK, OK. If you say so.” She giggled, handing him the baby as she got off the bed. "She needs to be changed," she said as she untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, walking into the bathroom to shower.

After she had showered, Ellie dried herself off and dressed, checking on Charley.

“Did I put her down right?” JC asked from the bed, lying shirtless in only a pair of flannel pyjama pants.

“Yeah”—Ellie crawled onto the bed, snuggling up to his chest—“she’s fine.”

They lay together in silence, her stroking his stomach hair as he curled her damp hair around his fingers.

“I like it when we have sex,” she said. “I think we have good sex. We have fun when we have sex. We have fun together when we have sex.”

“We have fun together.”

“Not really. We don’t like a lot of the same music—“

“We actually like a lot of the same music,” he pointed out.

“We don’t like any of the same kinds of books. We don’t like any of the same kind of TV shows, nor the same kind of movies. You’re an outdoorsy type who like sports and going to clubs and a trip to the stationery store is like going to Disneyland for me. You want to go to horse races and rock concerts and I want to stay home, cook gumbo and watch bad horror movies.” She sighed.

“I think those things are fun.”

“No, you don’t. You’re just saying that.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

"Nothing," she replied in dismay.

He pressed on, "No, really, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him. "I miss you. I miss being close to you. I miss how wonderful you make me feel, how wonderful it is to have you inside of me." She turned her head away from him and sighed.

He exhaled as he stared up at the ceiling. "I get what you're saying, but there's someone I know, someone who has a very similar background to the two of us who literally just had their second baby in like a year. I think we should figure some things out before we consider...resuming that aspect of our relationship."

"We'll just use protection."

"I don't have any on me. I didn't think I would need it."

She turned over, grunting in frustration. "I hate you.”

Saturday, November 4th, 2006.

JC dug through the large leather satchel Ellie had chosen as a diaper bag.

"Just exactly how many changes of clothes did you pack?" he asked.

Ellie sat at the little breakfast table in the hotel room in a white dressing gown. "Four for her, two for me, not including jeans."

"And you only brought this bag?"

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. "It's a big bag. Plus, bras with no underwire don't take up that much room." She pulled apart a slice of bacon. "It's the Girl Scout in me. They teach you how to pack efficiently."

"Why did you fly in last night?" he asked as he started to change Charley.

"I was feeling lonesome."

"Lonesome or lonely?"

"There's a difference?"

"I alway thought lonesome was code for horny. Like an old-fashioned Southern way of saying it."

"Well, I was feeling lonesome something fierce yesterday," she cooed in a put-on thick Southern accent, giggling. Her face fell. "That was a joke; it was supposed to be funny," she said in a pointed tone.

"Let me ask you a question: did you fly in last night because you were horny, or did you fly in because Thursday night was a rough night for you on account of it being your first night truly alone with the baby and you flew in ‘cause you didn't want to go through that again?"

She watched him in silence. “And what if I did?”

He buttoned up Charley’s grow suit and went into the bathroom to wash his hands. “You could’ve just called me.”

“Then I would’ve been alone when you hung up.”

“Then call someone else, go visit someone.”

“Who? Maurice and Craig are out of town for a wedding and Hunter’s sick so I can’t go to Amber’s. Everyone else I know is either here with you or they live in other cities. Even if they lived in New York, it would be the exact same thing. I would be going home to an empty apartment. What if something goes wrong?”

“Nothing’s going to go wrong—“

“But something did go wrong!” she interjected. “Something did go wrong. I had a panic attack and I don’t know if you have ever had one, but you feel like you’re dying when you do. I was sitting there thinking: ‘If I die, no one’s gonna know I’m dead until you come home in two days.’ That literally means that the baby would be left alone for whatever to happen in those two days. And before you say, ‘But the neighbours can hear her crying,’ they can’t hear her if she’s upstairs, not with how thick the walls are!”

He sat across the table from her, cradling the baby in the crux of his arm. He sighed. “So, what are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll just figure it out when we can.”

“I don’t think we can. I think we need to figure something out now. What do you think was the mistake here?”

Ellie thought for a moment. “You need to tell Eric and Alex that just because the baby’s here, it doesn’t mean that you can return to work full time just yet. Also, nothing sudden like this show you just did.”

“OK. But if you feel like you need to come with me or whatever, you need to say, OK?”

“OK.” She nodded.

“OK.”

Monday, November 20th, 2006.

Both JC and Ellie picked at the light dinner Ellie had prepared for them.

"How did your business meeting go?" she asked.

"Good, good," he answered. "Everyone likes the video so far and the listening party went well. Everyone's excited for the single and album."

"That's great."

"Also, if it's OK with you, my PR team were wondering if you were OK maybe doing a magazine spread with the baby, just to get my name out there before the single's released. Basically we do a little interview where we talk a little about our love story and how we've found being parents, whilst we also do some cute little photos with the baby or something. At least that's the idea."

She thought for a moment. "I'm not really sure; do you want to?" she asked.

"I'm trying to barter it down to just a solo interview with one or two personal photos or something, but I want to know for sure if you are or aren't comfortable with doing something like the former."

"I don't know, it's really up to you, though. I guess we'll see how everything turns out," she suggested.

"I guess we will."

"How did your appointment go?"

"Cool, cool. Everything's fine with the baby."

"Anything else?"

"He says everything's fine, you know...down there." She pierced a piece of food with her fork. "He says I can start having sex again if I feel that I'm ready."

JC's fork clanged as he dropped his fork onto his plate. "Oh, God."

"What?" she said in a startled tone.

"Nothing, just nothing."

"Seriously, what?"

“I thought new mothers were supposed to be too tired to want to have sex.”

“Yeah”—she rolled her eyes—“‘cause I totally don’t have 20 minutes to spare out of my day to bang out a quickie. We could literally just do it in the shower whilst she’s sleeping, take the monitor into the bathroom with us. Hell, if you’re OK eating dinner whilst she’s upstairs napping, there’s nothing from stopping us fucking on the couch right now.”

“And you’re not scared it’s going to hurt?”

“Oh my God. I know it’s going to hurt; it was always going to hurt. You don’t push out a seven and a half pounder, wait six weeks, then get fucked by someone with an eight-inch cock and not have it hurt.”

“I’m not eight inches erect,” he interjected.

“I don’t care. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re very well-endowed. It sometimes hurts with you. The first time we were together, I didn’t want to sit on the plane because of how on fire my junk was. I literally, literally, sat on a pillow the whole flight back to New York, and I do not mean that figuratively. But baby”—she reached over and took his hands in hers—“I had the most vivid dream about you that night. I was absolutely soaking when I woke up.” She kissed his knuckles. “I spent nearly an hour masturbating just trying to recreate a fraction of how incredible you made me feel that night. Hell, why do you think we even have a baby? Because I needed you and could not stand a moment knowing you were in the apartment and not inside me. I can’t stand that you’re sitting across from me and not entangled with me. I want to be close to you. I want to touch, kiss, lick every square millimetre of your body, just as I want you to do the same to me. I want to hold you in my arms as we make love. I want you to grab my ass as you fuck me. I want you to lick the sweat off my neck as I ride you, and frankly, if it hurts for a bit at first, I’m willing to go through that so we can move through that barrier. I am going insane by not being able to have you, and it’s getting to the point where if you don’t give it to me, I’m going to have to take it from you.”

JC was rinsing his hair as Ellie came into the bathroom.

She placed a baby monitor by the sink. “Mind if I join you?” she asked as she undressed.

“No, not at all.” He opened the shower door and reached out his hand to help her in.

She wrapped her arms around his waist as she pressed her body to his back, kissing his shoulder. “Have you thought about what we were talking about before?”

“I mean—“ He grunted, biting his lip as she started to run her hand along the length of his penis. “I guess if you’re ready, then I’m ready, too.” He took her hand in his, guiding her to increase her speed.

“Does Daddy like that?”

“He does.”

He turned around, kissing her as he pushed her against the wall of the shower. She murmured as he kissed her neck, running his tongue along her collarbone. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he slipped his hand between her legs.

“I missed you so much,” she whispered as he kissed her, moaning as he ran his fingers along the lips of her pussy.

A pop, then a faint cry came over the monitor.

“Shit, the baby.” Ellie slipped out from the shower, wrapping herself in a towel. “I swear, if she shat herself awake again.”

JC sighed, looking down at his engorged manhood. “And what am I supposed to do with you?”

He emerged from the shower, trying to hide his crotch.

“She farted herself awake,” Ellie commented as she sat in bed in a nightgown. She gestured towards him. “You’re not doing anything with that?”

“It’ll go down.”

“It’ll go down?”

“It’ll go down.” He took a pair of sweatpants out of the dresser.

“Before or aft—“

“It’ll go down naturally.” He snapped the waistband as he pulled the sweats over his still erect cock.

“Well, then.” Ellie stretched her arms above her head as she fake yawned. “I am just so tired.”

“OK, then,” he commented as he got into the bed beside her.

She turned over, burying her head into her pillow. “I cannot wait to go to sleep. I am absolutely exhausted.”

He lay down next to her. “I don’t think you’re tired at all.”

“No. I’m practically asleep already.”

“Really, ‘cause when you’re tired, the first thing to go is your ability to communicate coherently.”

“I can’t hear you. I’m asleep.”

He felt her leg brush up against his, inviting him to satisfy her. He turned over, running his hand up her thigh as he pressed his crotch into her ass.

“I saw that you bought me a little present whilst you were out this afternoon. Or, more correctly, a box of 24 individually wrapped presents I think we both can enjoy.”

“Well”—she slipped her hand into his sweats, grabbing his ass as she grinded into him—“the first rule of scouting is to be prepared.”

He started to play with her pubic hair, occasionally brushing his fingertips downwards to tease the lips hiding her most sensitive spot. “If you’re so prepared, why did you come to bed without any panties on?”

She widened her legs, struggling to speak as he started to rub her pussy. “If you’re allowed to come to bed with a raging…hard-on,…I’m allowed to come to bed…without any panties on.” She bit her lip and grunted, gasping as he rubbed her clit, her chest tightening as she started to come.

“How long has it been since you came?”

“Two days off two months, Daddy,” she whimpered through gritted teeth.

“If I had known how long it had been, I would’ve relieved you sooner.”

She tightened her thighs around his hand, crying out as she dug her fingers into his ass. He waited until her breathing started to deepen, turning her over as he pulled her nightie above her head. He pushed his sweats off, pushing her legs open as he lay on top of her and started to kiss her. He kissed her as he made his way down her neck, chest and stomach.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he growled as kissed her belly.

“But am I sexy?”

“You’re incredibly sexy.”

“Despite…?” she asked.

He lifted his head. “Despite and because…” He readjusted himself until his lips met hers. “You’re the mother of my daughter.” He pressed his mouth to hers. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she replied in a whisper. “Fuck me.”

She watched as he sat up, interlocking his legs with hers as he leaned forward and opened the bedside table drawer. He unwrapped a box of condoms, running his thumbnail along the sticky tape seal and ripping one off the long strip of foil satchels. He tore the package open and sat back up.

She grabbed his wrist. “I want to watch you masturbate one last time.”

“I thought you were getting sick of watching me masturbate. That’s why you’re lying in front of me with your wet pussy wide open begging me to fuck you.”

“I know. I just…You look so powerful with your cock in your hand.”

“I do not,” he rebutted as he placed his hand underneath his balls, accentuating his throbbing length and thickness. “Anyway,”—he rolled the rubber down the shaft of his cock—“if I even touch my cock again, I’m not going to last very long.” He lifted her ass and carefully pushed himself into her. “Does that hurt?”

She bit her lip. “A little, yeah.” She nodded.

“Do you still want this?”

“Yeah.”

She sat up and pulled on the chain around his neck until his lips were just brushing against hers. He wrapped his arm around her as he laid her down, starting to softly thrust into her.

“Are you OK with this?” he asked.

She placed her hands onto the small of his back. “Yeah. You can go a little harder if you need to.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“OK. Tell me if it gets too much for you.” He increased his force. “Is that OK?”

“It stings a little, but I’m OK.”

“Do you want me to pull out?”

“If you’re more comfortable finishing outside of me, you can. It’s not like I want to come again or anything, but it’s not so painful that it’s unbearable.”

“Can I go a little faster? This might take a while.”

“Yeah. Do you want me to finger you or something—“

“Wait…” He increased his speed.

“Are you close to coming?”

He nodded, grunting as he increased his force.

“Ow.”

“Just a few more…1, 2…” He held his breath, exhaling as he came. “There we go.”

He slid out of her, smiling as he kissed her. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” He turned over to lie on his back. “Good.”

She curled up next to him, resting her head onto his chest. “I didn’t push you into this or anything, did I?”

“No. We wanted to have sex, so we did. If either of us wasn’t OK with it, we would’ve stopped.”

“OK.”

“OK.”

He started to run his fingers through her hair. “You know, it’s good to have my baby back.”

She looked up at him. “Back? I never left.”

“You get what I mean. It has literally been two months.”

She scoffed. “And how many times have I watched you jack off during those two months? It might have been two months for me, but it has barely been 24 hours for you.”

“This is what I mean. You get a little…irate when you don’t get fucked.”

She sat up. “Irate? Irate? You would get irate too if you had to watch the sexiest person alive masturbate in front of you and you couldn’t fuck them.”

“Which is exactly why we have a baby.”

She lay back down and kissed him. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“No, ‘cause what we did that night completely changed our lives forever.”

She pulled the covers up over them, snuggling into him.

“If you had a chance, would you go back and change it?” he asked.

“No. Never. Would you?”

“No.”