JC pulls up to Kyra who is walking along on the sidewalk. She doesn't seem to notice him and continues walking with her head down. He watches her for a moment, taking in her jean shorts and the yellow polo shirt that indicates to him that she is probably walking home from work. Since it is summer, she often takes shifts at the small neighborhood grocery store as a cashier in order to help save some money for college.
"Ky!" He yells as he drives slowly alongside her. When she doesn't react he peeps his horn which this time causes her to startle and look around in surprise.
She tugs ear buds out of her ears and steps up to him as he stops near her. "What'd you do that for?"
"I was trying to get your attention," he answers as he puts his Jeep in park. "Hop in, I'll drive you home."
She smiles and shakes her head. "Nah, I'm good. It's a really nice night and it relaxes me to walk. Thanks though."
She's right; it is a nice summer night. The sun is just setting and the heat of the day is starting to dissipate with the help of a cool, fragrant breeze.
"Just hop in, Ky; I don't like it when you walk alone at night...especially with those ear buds in. It isn't safe."
She scoffs and shakes her head dismissively. "C'mon Josh, I've seen one other car and a stray cat since I left the store. Pretty sure I'm safe...we're not in big, bad Orlando here."
He smirks and squeezes the leather steering wheel in his hand. "Maybe not, but I'd still rather see you home."
She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Fiiiiiine," she says before she stuffs her ear pods into her pocket and swings herself up into his Jeep.
He smiles and watches as she puts on her seatbelt before he changes gears and takes off. They ride through the streets quietly, the cool breeze enhanced by the fact that he'd taken the top off of his Jeep earlier in the day. He turns to look at her and finds her resting back against the seat with her eyes closed, wisps of her hair which have escaped her ponytail whipping around her face.
It has only been a few days since they'd spent a few hours together huddled in the treehouse and he'd told her he was moving to Germany. And though they'd tried to avoid prolonged physical contact for the last little while, holding her in his arms again had been really nice.
"When are you leaving?" She asks, taking him out of his thoughts.
He clears his throat. "Um, tomorrow morning actually."
He sees her take a breath and she says softly, "Will I see you again before you leave for Germany?"
He pulls into his driveway and turns off his Jeep. "Yeah. I'll be back in a couple of weeks for a short visit and then for a day or two during the holidays. I’ll be able to say goodbye to my parents and store some of my stuff before we leave in the new year."
She nods and plays with the hem of her shorts. She says nothing for a few moments before she looks up and their eyes connect. "I'm really going to miss you."
"I know. I'll miss you too,” he says and reaches over to squeeze her hand gently. “But really, it won't be much different than now when I'm in Orlando all the time, or when I was filming MMC."
She shrugs and pulls her hand out of his slowly. "I know...but it feels different this time. You'll be in an entire other country you know?"
He nods and absently picks at something nonexistent on his steering wheel. "You're starting college in the fall, you'll make a bunch of new friends. You won't really have time to think of me."
He smiles hesitantly at her, hoping she will smile back but she doesn't. She speaks quietly. "I'll never be able to stop thinking of you."
He feels something stir in his chest and catches her eye again. He knows he should say something but he has no idea what and before he can figure it out she unclips her seatbelt and hops out of the Jeep thanking him for the ride.
He blinks a few times before also getting out of the Jeep. He walks around it when he sees her standing near the decorative lamp post that separates their two front yards. She seems to be thinking about something.
As he starts walking toward her, she steps forward as if she's going to meet him halfway then she steps back again as if thinking better of it. He narrows his eyes and frowns slightly. "Ky?"
The moment he gets near her she looks up at him quietly. When he's about to ask her if she's alright he gets cut off by her quickly coming closer. Before he knows it she's standing on her tip toes while her left hand frames his face and she's kissing him.
He feels her fingers grasp the front of his shirt only for moment before she pulls away and she's already making her way toward her house and shutting the front door behind her, leaving him standing there alone with only the glow of the lamp post to keep him company.
***
JC ran the tip of his fingers along an almost completely faded handwritten label indicating the breaker for 'outdr lampst'. He gnawed at his bottom lip as he looked along the other labels indicating other areas of the house. The only breaker flicked off was the large main one. He tried to flick it back twice but wasn't able to. So, he put his hands on his hips and looked at the panel for another minute so that he didn't look completely incompetent, but who was he kidding.
***
"So, um...yeah. It doesn't work," he finally said and she chuckled from her perch on one of the boxes and rolled her eyes.
She’d known he would have no idea what he was doing, but she still knew him well enough to know that he had to be the one to say he couldn’t do something. Besides, at this moment she didn't mind watching him from the back without him seeing.
He'd always been on the skinny side ever since they'd been kids but he'd definitely filled out in the last couple of years. His waist and hips were still narrow but his shoulders and arms had become insanely defined. Where he used to be gangly and honestly sort of awkward he’d become strong and fit.
She wondered if being on stage and running around while singing did that or he also found the time to go to the gym.
Now she could see between his shoulder blades where his dark shirt had become damp and it had darkened the fabric. Her eyes followed up to the collar where his long curly hair now rested. The look really suited him and to be honest it sort of made her stomach flutter in strange ways it hadn’t in a while.
She’d never been a fan of the caesar cut he’d gotten in the early years of the group, favoring his quintessential nineties hair during his years in MMC. She remembered running her fingers through the thick locks while they'd laid on the grass in the yard, or on the couch watching a movie.
It was a little known fact how much he'd enjoyed his scalp rubbed and his hair stroked. She wondered if he still did.
She’d be lying if she said that her fingers weren’t itching to run through his curly mane now.
This surprised her as up until somewhat recently, she’d still been ambivalent about her feelings for him.
It had been hard for her to peel off the thick coating she’d had to put on her heart after they’d had their fall out, probably because it had been so hard to put there in the first place.
When it came to him she always seemed to have no willpower. It had been easy to avoid her feelings for him when they weren't speaking or seeing each other but as soon as he'd laid his eyes on her all those months ago she'd known she'd break.
He'd said all of the right things in his emails and phone calls while they'd been apart and had sort of gotten to know each other again. Happily she'd been able to tell that he'd seemed to have humbled himself once more and sounded more like the boy, now man, she'd known and loved since she was five years old.
His eyes, his arms, his hands and his lips were so entwined with all of her memories, the good and the bad, that she never could resist being taken in by him. Whether it was a somewhat platonic friendship or a lot more, it was like she needed him in her life for it to feel complete.
She realized that this probably wasn't healthy, but it was her reality. It was like she had imprinted on him early in life and even though she tried to resist, she would always find her way back to him.
She'd realized this most profoundly when she'd edited her book and had suddenly realized how much the main love interest had resembled the Josh she'd grown up with. She hadn't meant for it to happen but apparently subconsciously she hadn't been able to completely shut herself off to him even when she tried.
And then she'd realized how she'd fallen in love with him all over again with every word she'd written and every page she'd finished, because with him, there would never truly be a way for her to turn the page and close the book.
Yes, she loved him but she wasn't sure it was the right kind of love. She didn't think she could actually be with him, so it was better to love him quietly from afar for everything he was but also for everything he could never be.
Only time would tell.
"-this for?" She looked up, suddenly aware that he was talking to her. He was no longer standing near the electrical box but nearer to her, pointing at a large stack of boxes obviously containing flooring tiles.
She stood up and nodded over to the boxes. "Some flooring tiles for when I redo the kitchen and bathrooms. I got them dirt cheap at this little family owned hardware store that was forced to close because of the big box stores. They gave me a really good deal so I bought them out."
He nodded and raised his eyebrows. "You know how to do that? Tiling I mean?"
She shrugged and blushed a little. "Hopefully. I read a few books and took a class at one of the home renovation stores."
He nodded and seemed slightly impressed. "That's cool. But why not get a contractor?"
She shrugged again and shook her head. "Too expensive. I'm just doing things slowly. I find stuff in yard sales and through good deals. I did my bedroom and my office, next I'm hoping to do the dining room. I do it when I have time to myself or when I have writer's block you know? Gets my mind on something else for a while and that usually helps."
He nodded and she watched as he crouched down and absently ran his fingertips along the grain of one of the textured tiles. He seemed to be thinking about something, so she continued. "So um yeah, the house needs a lot of work but I have this unexplainable love for it. So I'll stick it out until it's what I want."
He looked up and their eyes connected, and while she used to prize herself on almost always being able to know what he was thinking with a single glance, today she just couldn't seem to read him.
A shiver ran through her and she looked away. The silence was uncomfortable and she didn't know why. Thankfully her cellphone rang, breaking the silence and causing them both to jump slightly.
She giggled and pressed her palm to her heart as she rolled her eyes at him. She flipped open her phone and was happy to hear that an electrician was actually on his way.
She jumped up, told JC and they both made their way back upstairs. As they stepped back onto the main level and he shut the basement door behind him he said, "Once everything is done here, maybe we could go out? My hotel has a really good restaurant and a pool. Also may I add that there is glorious AC throughout?"
She laughed and looked back at him. "Haven't you lived in Florida for like half of your life?"
“Yeah, but everyone has AC everywhere. I have to wear a fuckin’ sweater inside most places half the time.” He grinned as she rolled her eyes and turned as the doorbell rang. “So what do you say?”
“I say that I’d willingly eat the asshole of bear to have a dip in a cold pool right now.”
***
