Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey Everyone!! I'm back and ready to go with another story. This is definitely different than my previous ones and I really hope you guys like it. I'm really excited to get into it!! :) This first chapter is really just setting up a lot of the back history and I promise they'll be longer chapters. But it's a really important part to the story...so I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think!! This is definitely going to be a different type of story for me! Enjoy!! :)
p.s. Special thanks to AJ for helping me work this story out in my head!
p.s. Special thanks to AJ for helping me work this story out in my head!
I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
- The Veronicas
The rain is pouring down in sheets, blanketing my car and making it almost impossible to see the road. My eyes are clouded over with tears that are threatening to fall and I angrily wipe at my face. I refuse to cry, I refuse to show any weakness at someone else’s mistake. The pounding in my head is almost crippling my body and the pain in my heart is enough to make me crumble.
Hastily, I turn my car off the road and slam it into park. The rain drops continue to beat on my car and soon I’m giving into the anger, fear and rejection. My sobs rack my body and I can barely breathe. The words keep ringing through my head and I can’t push them away. How could they do this to me?
(Flashback)
“Hey mom…what’s going on?” I ask while bounding down into the kitchen.
My mom has a sour look on her face and her complexion has paled slightly. “Come sit down sweetie…” She offers while pushing a chair out to me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, feeling the uneasiness in the room and noticing the frigidness to her movements.
“There’s something really important your father and I have to talk to you about.” She slowly starts.
“What? Is there something wrong with graduation? Dance? Are you both ok?” I ask rattling the questions off one by one.
She shakes her head gently and sits down in the chair across from me. “That’s not it sweetie…”
“Then what is so important to talk to me about on my birthday?” I say in a slightly irritated voice. Today is my eighteenth birthday and I have a huge dance competition tonight to practice for. I was really hoping to be at my high school almost twenty minutes ago to run through the routine with my partner but apparently I’m going to be late.
My mom inhales slightly and her breathing becomes shallow before she explains everything. “First, I want you to know that we love you more than life itself and that this doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re scaring me…” I say softly in between her words.
“I’m scared too honey.” She says before reaching her hand out and covering mine in a way that only a mother can. “When you were just a baby…your father and I adopted you from a home in Los Angeles and brought you back here to Memphis. You were so beautiful, wrapped in your pink blanket.”
A disbelieving laugh escapes my lips. “You’re kidding right?”
A somber look takes over my mom’s features and she slowly shakes her head. “No honey, I’m not. The reason we’re telling you now is because you’re an adult now and we thought you’d want to know.”
A sharp pain shoots through my stomach and I’m completely shell shocked. The confusion starts to clear from my head and soon I’m left with this encasing rejection. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before and pales in comparison to the “high school” rejection of a boyfriend breaking up with you. My mouth is agape and my mom is rubbing my hand softly. The pain is starting to set in and I rip my hand out of her grasp.
“Addison…” She starts but I cut her off.
“No…don’t talk to me. How could you not tell me this sooner? I’m eighteen fucking years old and you decide that now is a good time to tell me that all my life has been a lie? That the people I love and trust most in this life have all been keeping the truth from me. How could you?” I yell out before standing up and thrusting the chair back with my movements.
“We never meant to hurt you sweetie…” My mom explains before walking closer to me
“Get away from me…I hate you!!” I yell before running out of the kitchen, grabbing my keys on the way out and slamming the door behind me. I ran out to my car through the pouring rain and slammed the car into gear, peeling out of my driveway and as far away from the pain and rejection.
(End Flashback)
________________________________________________________________________
The pain is searing through my heart and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. The people I trusted most in my life have betrayed me in the deepest way possible. How could they hurt me like this? My tears continue to fall like a waterfall and as much as I want to stop the pain, I can’t. I don’t know how to make it go away and I feel like I’m breaking. My defenses have been crushed and I feel my walls breaking down. I’ve been left in this wake of vulnerability and rejection. My real parents didn’t want me and my adoptive parents lied to me for over eighteen years. I feel so alone…
Trying to shield myself from the hurt, I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I want to stop all of this but I don’t know what to do…I’m heavily broken.
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