Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey Everyone!! I hope you like the new chapter...let me know what you think! :)
The sun is setting over the yard and the shadows are slowly creeping up from the big oak tree towards the house. The sky is a mix of bright yellow’s and orange’s and if this place didn’t make me cringe, I’d say nothing could be more beautiful than sitting here watching it right now. The air has a slight nip to it and I snuggle deeper into my sweatshirt while pulling my legs up towards my chest. Sliding the gray material around my legs, I wrap my arms protectively around my knees. I can remember spending days on end doing this very thing, just sitting on the porch swing overlooking the yard, enjoying the moment. It’s been so rare that I’ve slowed down enough to do anything like this and I realize maybe I should make more of a point to reflect every once and awhile.

After last night’s blowout with my parents and hours spent crying alone, I’ve finally calmed down. I realize that things got a little overheated between the three of us and it completely boiled over when I came back. My mom scolded me like I was a child and my dad jumped in throwing his two cents around. They screamed at how ungrateful I was being and that I was an embarrassment running off like that. Rather than throw more words out, especially when they fall on deaf ears, I just stood there letting them rant. I’m tired of trying to explain my side of everything, especially when no one seems to care anyways.

Suddenly, a breeze ruffles the few leaves that haven’t fallen to the ground yet and the sky blazes a fiery red. The sun is slipping further and further into the horizon as another day comes to a close. My head is immediately jerked away from the peaceful view when a black escalade turns into my driveway. I sit up straighter, as the vehicle comes to stop right in front of me and a head of tiny curls peeks out.

“Hey Addison!” He calls out to me. His eyes are sparkling and his whole body is radiating happiness.

A weak smile forms at the side of my lips because even though I’ve had anything but a welcoming time at home, it’s still nice to see him. “Hey…” I manage to squeak out as he approaches the porch swing.

His eyes immediately take in my slumped frame and protective position, as he sits down next to me. The look that crosses his face is one of concern and confusion. “Are you ok?” He asks gently.

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and slowly meet his eyes. I’m battling inside whether to tell him the truth or just protect him from the sorrows that come with being one of my friends. A rush of air escapes my lips and my shoulders visibly relax in his presence. “I’ve been better…”

His hand reaches out to rest upon my arm and the warmth flows through my sweatshirt. “Where are your parents?”

“They went over to a friend’s house for dinner. I wasn’t feeling up to it, so I stayed here.”

“Oh I see…Did you want to talk about it?” He asks softly.

It’s the first time in a long time that anyone has said those words to me. In fact, I can’t even remember when someone bothered to care about what I was feeling. It’s caught me so off guard that I just simply shake my head yes.

Gently, Justin reaches for my hand and I let mine slide into his much larger one. He pulls me towards his car and opens the door before I climb inside. Quickly, he closes the door and gets into the drivers side. “How about we get out of town for a little bit…I’ve wanted to go to the lake ever since we got back yesterday.”

He smiles over at me and starts the car. In a matter of a few seconds, we’re turning away from my house and heading down the familiar path towards the lake we used to play at when we were kids. With each mile that goes by, I realize the irony in the situation because there’s no turning back anymore when it comes to Justin. He already knows a little bit about the pain I’ve been through but he doesn’t fully understand it. I know I don’t want to keep running, I’m just so tired of it. I’ve got nothing left to lose…

Justin cautiously pulls the truck to a stop in the gravel parking lot before unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping outside. I open the door and walk towards his waiting form. He gives me a reassuring smile before leading the way alongside the lake towards a picnic table overlooking the sparkling water. Carefully, I pull myself up onto the table and sit down next to him.

“What have you and Lynne been up to since we got home?” I ask, glancing in his direction, trying to prolong the inevitable.

The look that crosses his features, sends a pang of resentment through me, he’s so lucky and he doesn’t even know it. “My whole family came to my mom’s house last night, my grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles; even my brother’s were there to see me. It’s been so long since I’ve had been surrounded by my family…it was a great way to be welcomed back home.”

I feel my insides ache at his story because that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I just want to feel like I belong. “Wow, it sounds like every Timberlake and Harless was in Shelby Forest last night.”

He chuckles lightly and runs his hand through his hair. “Yeah, you could say that…”

“Hmph…” I say while turning my eyes towards the water.

I can feel his eyes scrutinizing my entire face as I scan the open water. His look is unnerving and my hands start to tremble. Gently, Justin reaches over and encompasses one of my shaky hands. His long fingers softly grasped mine and a sense of comfort immediately envelops me. I let my eyes travel over to meet his blue ones and he arches an eyebrow in my direction.

“What have you been up to since we arrived, yesterday?” He probes.

I let out a breath of air and a crooked smile plays at the corner of my lips. “Mostly fighting with my parents.”

Justin frowns at my answer and he increases the pressure on my hand, letting me know its ok to continue.

“I suppose it’s to be expected…it’s the first time I’ve seen them in over two years.” A look of shock crosses Justin’s face. “I don’t make it a habit to come back here anymore…”

“Why?” He asks softly.

“It’s a long story…”

“I think I can keep up…”

A moment of nervousness floods my stomach and for the first time since I was eighteen years old, I’m about to let someone see the real me. I am opening my heart to the possibility of serious hurt and I’m jumping two feet first, in the hopes that Justin’s everything I remembered and hoped he’d be.

“I guess it all started back when I was eighteen…” I let out in a shaky breath. “My family isn’t what they portray to be…we’re far from this tight-knit loving group.”

Justin nods his head and he pulls my hand closer to rest on his leg. “I suppose they love me in some weird way and I can’t say that I don’t have feelings that resemble love either…but it’s not the kind of love that you need from your parents. It’s not the unconditional; I’ll love you no matter what happens in life type. No it’s the, I love you because that’s what’s expected…” I start to ramble and I realize I’m probably confusing him even more.

“I’m adopted Justin…” I burst out, through the cloud of confusion surrounding us.

If he’s shocked by my confession, he doesn’t show it. He rubs his thumb soothingly across the top of my hand when he looks at me.

“Are you ok with that?” He asks softly.

“I’ve had time to come to terms with it…I can say it because that’s what I am. But I’m not “ok” with it. I’ve never felt so alone in the entire world…”

Justin reacts almost immediately and slides closer towards me. He lets his arm wrap around my body and he pulls me closer to his side. “You’re not alone though Addison…”

I look at him and feel the sincerity in his words. “But I am Justin. You’re so lucky and you don’t even know it. Your mom looks at you like you’re the pride and joy in her life. I get looked at as an inconvenience now because I don’t conform to this perfect little family life they want to portray.”

I shake my head a little and try to rid this sense of shame that’s slowly creeping up through my chest. “That’s only the beginning, Justin…I don’t even know where I come from. I don’t know what my real mom looks like, if I have her eyes or my dad’s? I don’t know where my independence and vulnerability comes from? Whether I have brothers and sisters? I don’t know anything about “who” I am.”

The tears start to brim my eyes and I turn away from his burning blue eyes. “Have your parents told you anything about your adoption?”

The pools of water are threatening to fall and one small blink causes them to cascade down my cheeks. “The only thing I remember was my parents telling me that my biological mom and dad didn’t want me, that’s why I was put up for adoption, so why should I go looking for someone who clearly doesn’t want me.”

I feel Justin’s arm tense behind me and his breathing hitches in his throat. “Oh, Addison…”

“Don’t feel sorry for me Justin…” I say with a strong sense of conviction behind my words. “Why do you think I don’t tell anyone about this? Or let anyone close to me, to begin with? I can’t take the pitiful stares…”

“I’m not going to pity you Addison…” Justin says before turning to face me straight on. “Do I think what your parents did was wrong? Yes, definitely. But I don’t pity you…I admire you…your strength to get through all of this on your own…”

“Hardly…” I say with sarcasm practically dripping from my lips.

“Don’t diminish the fact that you ARE strong enough, Addi. Not many people are strong enough to stand their ground and listen to what you had to at eighteen and still come out of it a beautiful person.”

My eyes snap up at him as he speaks.

“Yes beautiful…both inside and out…yeah, you’re a bit of a tough girl but I know it’s just a mask that you use to protect yourself. But you don’t always have to be the strong one…”

My lips force a crooked smile at his words and he reaches to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I didn’t mean to be such an ass when I got on the tour Justin…”

“It doesn’t matter, Addison…”

“I guess I’ve spent so much time pushing people away…it’s really the only thing I know how to do anymore.”

“I’m not going to let you push me away, Addi…”

“I don’t think I could even if I tried, Justin…”

He smiles at me and squeezes my shoulders before turning to face the lake. The water is shimmering just slightly as the sun dips below the horizon, cascading the smallest amount of light across the water. A breeze flutters through the trees and whips through my long hair.

“Have you tried to find your biological parents?” He asks softly.

“Yes and no…Up until about a year ago, I thought I didn’t want to know. I believed wholeheartedly that finding them would only make the pain worse. But I can’t seem to let it go. It’s like this burning desire to know them…to understand…to ask them why they didn’t want me…won’t go away. But I don’t know where to start and my parents want absolutely no part in helping me either…”

“I’ll help you…” He states matter-of-factly.

I tap my hand on his leg. “Thank Justin, but you don’t have to...”

“No, I want to help but only if it’s something you’re sure you want to do.”

I scrutinize his face looking for any sign on insincerity but his blue eyes shine brightly. His lips turn into a smile and he emits honesty with his words and his eyes. It’s hard to look away because I know I’ve just slipped into some dangerous territory trusting Justin wholeheartedly.

“Who would’ve thought Justin Timberlake from Memphis would be the one to get me to break down my walls…”

He smiles brightly. “Addison you don’t have to hide behind these walls of protection all the time, you know?”

“I know Justin…”

He intertwines our fingers and starts to stand up from the table. He lifts me up and wraps his arms around my waist. Burying his head into my shoulder, I let my arms travel up behind his neck and envelope him in a hug. He sways us gently from side to side before pulling away and smiling brightly.

“Thanks Addison for trusting me…I promise I’m not going to hurt you…”

“I know Justin…for the first time in a long time…I know…”

We walk hand in hand back towards the car, just enjoying the sun set and the vibrant sparkling stars. He opens the car door for me before getting in himself and the ride back to my house is silent. It’s not uncomfortable or unnerving in any way but it’s soothing. I’ve finally let someone else be the strong one for me and as scary as that is…it’s the best feeling I’ve felt in a long time…

Incomplete
WhitneyJT is the author of 2 other stories.
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