Seeing Hayden Sequel to Your Child by JustinsCaramelSenorita
Summary: Michelle left him ..his life is incomplete. So he does what he should've done a long time ago. Goes to see his son.
Rating: PG-13
Categories: Short Stories
Characters: Justin Timberlake
Genres: Drama
Warnings: adult language
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 04/13/05
Updated: 07/11/05
Seeing Hayden Sequel to Your Child by JustinsCaramelSenorita
Chapter 1: Hayden ..
Author's Notes: Justin stood outside of the unfamiliar door. His palm met with his forehead and instantly he felt sweat. He wiped it away, before wiping his hand on the side of his jeans. He was nervous.
This wasn't like the first time he had appeared on MMC, this wasn't like the time he stood infront of Lou Pearlman with the rest of *NSYNC, this wasn't like the millions of times he stood in front of thousands of people. Though he was nervous then, this was a different kind of nervousness. He brung his fist to the door, fully intent on knocking, but only leaned against it. His fist went back to it's orignal place, his side. He let out a shaky breath. He took a deep swallow, slowly allowing the saliva to will it's way back down his throat. He brung his fist back to the door again, he looked at his fist strangely.
He had taken his wedding ring off months ago, but it still sent a cold chill down his back everytime he had to look at his hand. It reminded him that she wasn't in his life anymore. He almost didn't want to do this. Hell he didn't want to do this. But he had to ..in his heart of hearts he knew he owed it to them. To him. His son. Wow, he had never thought that before, never said it out loud. Thinking it ..was almost a realization for him.
Before he could think anymore of it, his fist pounded on the door before him. The sound of his knocking startled him after minutes of standing there in nothing but quietness. He was going to knock once again, after no response, but the door opened and Kayla stood infront of him. His face turned a ghostly white. He knew he'd have to see her, but he never really imagined what it would be like when he had to. He never thought it this far. Justin watched as her face turned from shock to anger in seconds.
"Justin ..what are you doing here?" Her voice cracked. She noticed it, but hoped he didn't. She placed her arms firmly across her chest, not knowing what else to do with them. This was way too awkward for her. His expression told her that he didn't even want to be standing there, much less have to conversate with her.
"I ..came by ..," He stopped abruptly not knowing what to say. She rolled her eyes at him, before her hand went to the door to slam it in his face.
"Wait ..," His foot stood in the door. "Please, can we talk?" He pleaded with her. One of the reasons he came, was to show Michelle that he could take care of his responsibilities. Maybe he was using his son for that purpose ..but he needed her in his life, like he needed air to breathe. Her curiousity got the best of her, and she stopped trying to slam the door in his face.
"What is there to talk about?" Her voice was rising with her anger. How dare he come back 2 years after the fact.
"I know you're upset with me .." He started lamely.
"Upset? Justin, you ran out on me when you found out we have a fucking kid together. I think i'm alittle bit more than upset with you!" Justin turned his attention to a door opening and someone peeking out to see what the commotion was all about. He looked back at Kayla.
"Can we please talk about all of this in private." His voice fell below a whisper. She laughed harshly at him, as she watched the person go back into their apartment.
"I'd rather kill over than invite you into my home."
"I want to see Hayden." She bit her lip. As much as she wanted to bend over and let him kiss her ass, she wanted him to see Hayden. That's all she ever wanted. She waited patiently for the day that he'd come over for a birthday, or christmas. The day that he'd think of his son enough to send a card or a letter. A fatherly phone call ..something. But everytime she got nothing.
"Come in." She wasn't promising to let him see Hayden, but she could atleast act civilized. She opened the door wider and let him pass her. She watched as he looked around before sitting down on the couch. She closed the door, and stood there not feeling comfortable enough to sit down. Sitting down made it seem to intimate. That they were perhaps friends of some sort. They should be, no doubt about it. They should atleast have some contact with each other considering what ties them together.
"Kay .." She scoffed.
"Kayla. It's Kayla." She informed him, coldly.
"Okay, Kayla .." He mocked her rudely. Getting impatient with her attitude. "We need to talk, so if it's okay with you ..i'd rather talk with you over here by me." He requested. She calmly took a seat in the chair next to sofa. "Where is Hayden?"
"Taking his nap." She answered him curtly.
"Oh .." He paused before continuing. "Kayla, I know that there is no amount of apologizing that will make all of this okay. I know I never really explained anything to you. Walking out on you ..was probably the worst thing I could've done, but i'm here now." He hoped that, that counted for something. Most guys wouldn't ever come around, but he was. And for that he could hold his head alittle higher. But she immediately crushed that.
"Oh, you're here now? And what Justin? I've been here his whole life! Do you want the dad of the year award? Do you want me to bow down to you because, all of the sudden "you're here now"? Let's forget the two years of his life that you weren't here. Let's forget the first couple of months of his life where I had to do this alone. Let's forget all of that. You're a class act, Justin. I loved you ..I loved what we had. But I guess we never really had anything did we? Poor Michelle didn't even know ..you're the sickest bastard i've ever met. So if you're wondering if i'll forgive you ..I won't." She had every right to be angry. And the fact that she was acting this way, didn't surprise Justin in the slightest. He deserved every curse word directed to him. Hell, he deserved getting punched in the face.
"I loved you, too," He watched her as she rolled her eyes at him. "Whether you believe it or not. I did though. I loved everything we had ..but we had all of that because I was having problems with my wife. I'm sorry ..I know that doesn't excuse my behavior. I know that you didn't deserve that. Hayden ..didn't deserve that. I want to make it up to him. Or try to." He fiddled with his fingers nervously. His relationship with his son all rested in Kayla's hands.
Kayla scooted closer to Justin. "All I ever wanted was you and Hayden to have a relationship like I do with him. Whether or not I hate you, which I really do, all I want is for you to be in Hayden's life. He needs his father. But ..what gave you the change of heart?" She needed to know. She died to know. She needed to hear that he desperately needed Hayden in his life.
"Michelle .." But realization was setting in. And reality sucks. She bit on her bottom lip angrily.
"Michelle?! This is why you're here, for real isn't it!?" She grabbed his wrist to look over his ringless hand. She jerked it away. "You're not here, because you suddenly want to see your son. You're here because Michelle left you, and you want to get back in her good graces! What the fuck kind of shit are you pulling, Justin?" She screamed at him irately.
"I admit it!," He screamed right back at her. "Michelle ..was the start of it. And part of it still ..but I honestly DO want to see my son. That I can promise you. I want to see Hayden!" He really did. He didn't want to have a son somewhere that he knew nothing about. Especially on accout of his stupid actions. She shook her head at him. Amazing. Simply amazing. Once she thought that he was acting like an adult, he proves her wrong with his childish actions.
"I don't even know why I put up with you. Why I let you in here. Why I give a shit about anything you have to say. You chose to do what you did. It's your lose not Hayden's." She said it in such a final way, it scared him. Was she saying he had to leave. That he couldn't see his son? As if she read his mind, she quickly dismissed that decision. "I'm not saying that you can't see him. It's up to Hayden to forgive you. And seeing as he's only 2 ..I bet he will. You'll just have to come back in an hour or so after his nap." Waiting wasn't an option for Justin. She didn't miss the excitement in his features, though.
"If you're actually going to let me see him, I want to see him now." She sighed, tiredly.
"I'm not going to wake him up for you. You waited two years ..you can wait a half hour." She didn't feel that he had the right to demand anything to her.
"Kayla .." He would beg if he thought it'd get him in there quickly.
"Fine, Justin! ..Only because i'm afraid if I let you leave ..you won't come back. It's the first door when you turn the corner." She figured he'd want to see Hayden alone.
Without saying anything else he took her directions and found himself in front of Hayden's door. He found himself in the same situation he was before. This time it took him only moments to get his thoughts together, before wrapping his hands carefully around the doorknob and pushing the door open. Everything was babyblue, and it reminded him of his room when he was younger. He walked in enough to close the door behind him. His focus zoned in on the curly haired little boy sleeping. Justin's breath caught in his throat. He was so beautiful. Sleeping so peacefully. Justin feared moving, afraid he might wake up the adorable boy in front of him. Justin moved the little rocking chair towards Hayden's bed and sat in it.
Sitting.
Staring.
J
ustin let his hand smooth over the little boy's curls, then over his freshly cut hair. He missed his unruly curls, he had always hated them. But if they looked anything like Hayden's he couldn't understand why. Justin quickly let his hands fall to his lap.
"Hayden ..," He started, but quickly stopped when he noticed that he was moving. "I'm sorry," He started again when he knew the boy wasn't waking up. "..I know that doesn't really cut it this time. I've done a lot of stupid things. A lot of selfish things, a lot of things i'm not proud of. But I would quickly own up to any of those things ..to not feel the way I do about letting you go. Your mommy and I aren't together anymore. I guess we never really were "together." I know I didn't act like it then, but there's no way I could ever be ashamed of something as precious as you are. I-I need you to forgive me, Hayden. Maybe not now ..maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even this year. But eventually ..when you think it's the right time, I want to spend time with you. I want to be able to do all of the things that daddy's and son's do together. Your mommy is never going to forgive me, and I can understand why. I really hurt her. I know I hurt you, too. And for that i'm extremely sorry. But .." He pressed his palm against Hayden's cheek. "I don't want to miss out on anything else with you. Your daddy's always here. You may not love me right now, and I may not love you. But I think I can settle for us liking each other right now. I do like you Hayden ..you look so much like me. It's uncanny, really." Justin let out a sigh before continuing. "Hopefully your mommy will let me come see you again. I'm sorry it took me so long to do so this time. But I won't let you wait this long again to see me. I'll let you sleep. I'll see you later, little buddy." He bent over to kiss Hayden on the forehead, before returning the chair to it's rightful place, and exiting his room. He jumped in surprise when he turned around to see Kayla.
"I heard what you said." She tried to sound unmoved, but she knew her emotions were coming through loud and clear. "The first thing I wanted to do when I saw you on my doorstep, was to tell you to goto hell. But ..if you're being truthful about this, i'm glad I let you see Hayden. You'll be a good father, Justin. I know it, i've always known it," She took a deep breath before continuing. "Hayden's free this weekend, if you'd like to keep him .." She suggested. Justin's clear blue eyes lit up at the thought.
"Really? You'll let me have him for a whole weekend?" He sounded like alittle five year old, being told he can stay up an extra hour after bedtime. She laughed alittle, but soon changed her expression sternly.
"If you actually come through, Justin. Remember you won't be upsetting me, you'll be upsetting Hayden. I won't let you do that to our son again." Justin jumped up in excitement before wrapping his arms around Kayla in a friendly hug. It was friendly on Justin's part, but it was only having feelings come out of Kayla that she forgot she had for him. She quickly patted his back before backing away.
"I'll be here first thing tomorrow morning to pick him up." He said walking out of her apartment. "Again, thank you, Kayla." She didn't say anything, but perhaps she didn't have to. It was written all over her face. She watched him leave. Maybe her baby boy would have a father after all. She couldn't help but have a smile on her face. Their life was finally looking up. Or atleast for ..
Hayden.
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