Beautiful Disaster by justified115
Summary: He's a mess. He has a whole life ahead of him, but he chooses to screw it over with life's complicated choices. But, I just can't help it. He's chaos. He's misery. He's disaster. But he's so beautiful.
Rating: PG-13
Categories: Long Stories
Characters: Unknown
Genres: Drama
Warnings: violence/death
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 04/23/05
Updated: 12/09/05
Beautiful Disaster by justified115
Chapter 1: Exquisite Extreme
Author's Notes: He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
He’s been out all night. His wild side has probably taken over, and blinded whatever sense of reasonability he had. “Had” being past tense. Before. Before his dreams took over his life, in a way you would never expect. He used to be so charming, and sweet, and practical, ready for life. But now he’s dissolved into a mess of a man. A mess of the heart that was once a real person. Now he’s gone.
His physical essence is still there, but the intellectual mind, he once possessed, has disappeared. I’m waiting for the door to open, and the man I once knew to walk in, casually, like he knew every one of God’s secrets. But when he finally does walk in, it’s all over the place. His hands reaching out for anything to help his unsteady balance. His eyes misty and his voice slurred with no sign of coherence.
I know that when tomorrow comes he’ll be up, and not sure of what happened the night before. He’s beautiful once again. The man I love will be a gentleman once more. Holding my hand, and sharing his humor with me, just to make me smile.
I love it when he’s like this. He’s got the sway in his step and that beautiful smile on his lips. His heart is there. I can see it. Almost touch it with my hands. He laughs, and sings with passion. Every day is another birth for him.
But by night, he’s slowly dying, drowning in his visions. He used to have a dream. To be successful and ready to take on life’s challenges. Now his dreams are blurred by life’s immoral temptations. Why can’t he turn them down? Think of all the good things in life… and just throw those satisfactory things aside? Pressure has surpassed him, and now it’s just an automatic decision. He’s chaos. He’s up and down, left and right, back and forth. There’s no medium.
But I can’t do anything. He’s just him. A drowning success. A sinking beauty. A hallucination. A bad picture. Everything I never wanted. But he’s just so beautiful.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
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