Frozen In The Headlights by BoyBandNazi
Summary: Rayna and Josh were the best of friends, until a fling came in between them. She's too ashamed to admit her feelings, and Josh is too stubborn to realize hers and his own. Yet, that's not the worst of things. Josh's best friend Justin is enlisted to help, but only makes things more complicated. Will Rayna ever tell Josh? Or will she fall for the one who is decieving her?
Rating: PG-13
Categories: Long Stories
Characters: JC Chasez, Justin Timberlake
Genres: Drama, Romance, Alternate Universe
Warnings: adult language, drug/alcohol abuse
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 08/24/04
Updated: 10/11/04
Index
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
“Rayna… Rayna… Where are you going?” Josh ran after her, she stood in the middle of the road, in the pouring rain. Rayna stared off in either direction the road went, tears were mingled with the downpour.“Get away from me!” she swung her purse at him, its contents flew everywhere, and she sat down on the lines separating the lanes. “Just get away…” she sobbed and hugged her knees to her chest.
Josh grabbed her arm, and tried to pull her up. It was to no avail. He looked quickly to the left as a loud blast of a horn jogged his senses. “Rayna get up! Get up!” he gripped her upper arms, and pulled her out of the way of the oncoming transfer truck. Just as he swung into the other lane, it sped on by, horn blaring as it disappeared from sight. “Rayna what is the matter with you?”
She looked at him, sniffling, still crying. “Just leave me the hell alone! I want to go home! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Josh! Why don’t you understand that! Just GO AWAY!” Rayna screamed and began to pick up various items that had spilled from her purse.
Josh stood there, watching her. He couldn’t make her stay, as much as he wanted to. Slowly, he went back into the bar and grill. He plopped down in a stool, and looked at the bartender. “Gimme the strongest thing you got…” The bartender grunted, and handed him a drink. Josh stared at it, before he began his latest drinking binge.
Rayna drove home, speeding on the slick roads, hugging every curve, barely able to see through the thick sheet of water and tears. Why? Why did I ever fall in love with him? I knew it… I knew from the beginning nothing would ever come out of it… He can never love me… It’s the only way… The only way… She was lost, lost in her thoughts and in the past…
“Hey…” a quiet voice stared at her from the aisle of the bus, Rayna smiled.
“Hi…” she smiled at him slowly.
“I’m Josh,” he stuck out an awkward hand.
“I’m Rayna…” she looked at him. He was about her age.
“I was wondering um… if I could sit with you? All the other seats are taken…”
Rayna nodded, and picked up her pocketbook. “Yeah, sure…”
Josh sat next to her, his eyes fixed upon her face. “So are you from around here?” he had noticed her accent didn’t sound like most of those from Orlando.
“No, I’m from the mountains, up in North Carolina. Why do you ask?”
“Your accent…”
If I had only told him that NO he couldn’t sit with me… We would have never… Never… … Rayna forced the thoughts from her mind. Her memories were too strong right now, too many, overcrowding her concentration. That day on the bus had started it all… If only I hadn’t let him sit down… She looked out into the night, her eyes still moist but no longer spilling salty tears of heartbreak… A heartbreak she could have avoided…
“It was a mistake…” Josh quietly repeated Rayna’s sentence as he pulled on his shirt.
“Yeah, a mistake…” Rayna buttoned her jeans and frowned at him. It was a mistake to him, not to her. But how was she supposed to let him know that?
“I’m sorry Rayna… I shouldn’t have… Shouldn’t have started this…” Josh pushed his hair back, and glared at himself in the mirror.
“It was just as much my fault…” Rayna remembered that SHE had been the one to kiss him, not the other way around. She hadn’t been able to control herself… But he hadn’t stopped her either…
“I shouldn’t have let it happen…” she muttered. Two weeks ago they were best friends, only friends, and then that night… Now the awkwardness had sunk in. For her at least. How was I supposed to tell Josh that I loved him? How?Rayna frowned, and turned onto her road. Now… Now… What do I do?She slowed down and turned into her driveway. Her purse was much lighter than it was when the night began; Rayna started up the steps, and put the key in the lock. She listened sadly as it clicked. Best friends… Gotta remember to get my key from him…
She slowly went back to her room, and undressed. Her clothes were still rather wet, and she was beginning to get cold. Rayna entered her bathroom, and turned on the water in the shower. She made sure it was hot, nearly unbearably so, and stepped in. Rayna felt like washing it away, scrubbing away her past, washing off the filth, getting all traces of him eradicated. It was all a mistake… A mistake… Rayna shook off the thoughts that threatened to overtake her again, and stepped out of the shower. She pulled on her robe, and went into the kitchen. Her hands worked quickly as she put on a pot of coffee.
She sat, curled up on the couch; a hot mug in her hands, wearing the silky pajamas Josh had gotten her the year before for Christmas. He remembered how much I loved them… He remembered from months before, me tugging at them, looking at them, wanting them…Rayna shook her head, and stood up. She put her mug in the sink, then went and sunk into her bed.
Josh stared into yet another empty glass. He had been cut off at the bar long before, and had caught a cab home. He sat at the built in bar in his kitchen, drinking himself to oblivion.. What did I do that was so wrong? I don’t… He put his head in his hands. . I’m too damn drunk to worry about this... Josh got up, and stumbled to his bathroom just in time to hang his head in the toilet. He hated how his mind worked when he was drunk... What did I do wrong? Josh pushed himself up, and headed to his bed.
He lay there, tossing and turning in his sleep. Dreams plagued him, in everyone he let Rayna slip away… He let her die… He killed her… Every time, it was his fault she was gone in some way or another…
“I hate you!” Rayna yelled as he tried to chase her down.
“But… Rayna please! Just stop! We need to talk!”
“You don’t care! I’m nothing to you!” she wheeled around to face him.
“Rayna, I do care… I… I love…”
Josh shot up out of the bed, and immediately clutched his head in his hands. “Damn hangover…” he muttered as he padded to the kitchen slowly. He rummaged through the cabinets until he found some coffee. He put it on and then went into the living room. Josh flipped on the TV, and sat down. He muttered to himself as he waited on the coffee to finish brewing.
The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He got up to answer it before the ringing increased the pressure on his head. “Hello?”
“Hey Josh, man where are you? You were supposed to meet up with me and Chris earlier, remember?”
“Yeah, sorry about that… Went out with Rayna last night, and you know, shit went down and now I’ve got a hangover from hell.” Josh rubbed his head. “Sorry Justin, but I’m not gonna make it.”
“Nah man, it’s fine. We might swing by later, that cool?”
“Yeah,” Josh muttered. “Listen I’m gonna jump off of here and try to get sobered up or something.”
“Good idea, you sound like hell, see ya later.” Justin hung up the phone, and Josh did too.
He headed back into the kitchen and grabbed his favorite coffee cup. He filled it up to the brim, ignoring the cream and milk. Black coffee was what he needed this morning; he couldn’t remember ever having such a bad hangover. “Dammit Rayna… Why did you have to go and be a bitch like that last night? I didn’t do a damn thing to deserve this…” he said to himself as he took a swig of the hot coffee. It burned his throat, but he ignored it. Josh knew he needed this pick-me-up more than the comfort of his throat. He sunk back into the chair and stared at the screen. He sat his coffee on the table next to the chair and rubbed his temples. He leaned back, and closed his eyes, trying to will himself back to sleep.
Rayna sat up, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Her body ached; she was exhausted, and miserable. Why do I have to be so damn dramatic? Why didn’t I just leave well enough alone…Rayna pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed. She knuckled her back and went into the kitchen. . I don’t even feel like eating... Rayna sat down at the table, and picked up her cat from the floor. “Xander, I do believe you’re the only friend I’m going to have left after everyone finds out about the stunt I pulled last night,” she scratched him behind the ears, and kissed his nose when he began to purr. “So, Xander… do you think maybe I should try to patch things up with him?” Rayna scratched his ears, and smiled when he meowed. “I’m going to take that as a no. Because I don’t feel like dealing with that stubborn, pigheaded, horribly sexy and amazing man today…”
Rayna stood up, and dropped the cat to the floor. “I have to get dressed… I give up. I’m going over there…” Xander meowed at her loudly before skulking off.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Josh jerked awake when he heard a loud knock on the door…”Come in…” he called and eyed his mug of coffee. It was already cold. “Dammit…” Josh got up to refresh his glass as the person came through the door.“Josh?” Rayna questioned the empty room and frowned Probably avoiding me, not that I could blame him after what I pulled last night... “Josh where are you?”
“Kitchen…” he yelled through the house, then put a hand to his head. Fucking hangover… Josh wondered what she was doing here; just last night she had hated him… And he knew she wasn’t drunk when she had yelled at him like a maniac. “What do you want?” he asked turning around and blowing his coffee.
“To talk,” Rayna stated and sat down at the table.
“You hate me, remember?” His tone was harsh, and it made Rayna flinch.
“Josh,” Rayna’s tone was patient, and understanding. She understood this was all her fault and she meant to see it corrected. “I don’t know what caused that outburst last night… But I’m sorry.”
“Rayna you aren’t yourself anymore! After that fling we had you’ve been acting funny… I mean, granted that is to be expected, but it’s not the kind of funny I expected.”
“Fling?” Her face showed the disapproval she felt, even if her tone didn’t. “Is that all it was to you? A fling? Joshua, that hurts.” Rayna frowned, and stared at the table.
“What was it to you then? Would you rather me call it a ‘fling’ or meaningless sex or a casual hookup, what?”
“Well if to you it was meaningless, that’s great to know. Because it was sure as hell more than that to me.” Rayna stood up. “Listen, Josh, I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”
“You made that clear last night.”
“I need my key,” Rayna stood up and held out her hand. “I’m sorry you’ve wasted so much time in being my friend.”
Josh made a frustrated noise and muttered under his breath. He found his keys, and took it off the key ring. “Take your damn key, Rayna. If you are willing to throw away our friendship for what seems to be no apparent reason, fine. Do it.” Josh placed the key in her upturned palm. “Now get out.”
Rayna opened her mouth to protest, then closed it. Great job, girl. You just lost him. She turned on her heels and stormed out his house, slamming the door and causing his head to give a great throb.
Josh was sitting in the living room with Justin and Chris. He had just told them everything that had gone on between he and Rayna. “She’s acting so stupid!”
“Wait a second,” Chris held up a hand. “You two slept together, and you told her that is was meaningless?! Are you stupid Josh?”
“What was I supposed to tell her, Chris?”
“Well, you could have told her something other than that!” Justin put in. “She likes you, Josh, you don’t just tell her sex was meaningless, it makes girls feel like whores or something. And on top of that if she has been acting funny ever since, it should tell you something! Rayna likes you!”
“Rayna cannot like me,” Josh told Justin. “We’re best friends, nothing more. Never will be more. I don’t like her that way. Besides, last I checked she was in love with someone.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “They don’t tell you when they like you. Trust me, I know. But how are you going to fix it?”
“Why the hell should I have to fix it? She’s the one who had some weird breakdown and tried to let herself get run over! I don’t even know what the hell I did! We were having a drink and I said something about going out with Christy this weekend, and she just got up and ran off.”
“Because she wants you to go out with her!” Justin exclaimed.
“Then why the hell didn’t she tell me so! Listen, it doesn’t matter. She and I are through. I don’t want to be her friend anymore if she is going to act like… like… like a spoiled child! I have a life outside of her!”
“Then you shouldn’t have acted like you didn’t! You two were basically TOGETHER! And now, now you’re just randomly telling her she means nothing!”
“I didn’t say she means nothing to me, Chris! I said the SEX meant nothing! I mean, it was a hookup. We both wanted it, and it happened. It’s not like I did it because I love her or anything.”
Justin and Chris exchanged glances, sighed, and leaned back. “Josh, you seriously need some help,” Justin stated.
“Then help me!” he exclaimed. “You two are my best friends, so help me! I don’t want to not have her as a friend, she’s the one who ditched me!”
Justin frowned. “Do you really want some help, Chasez?”
Josh nodded.
“Okay, fine I’ll help you,” Justin stood up. “I’ll go over there and see what I can do.”
“Don’t do that!”
“I won’t say you sent me, I’m not stupid. I’m just going to be her friend. Me and her got along anyway. Much better than you two did.”
“Okay, fine. Just try your best to help me!”
“Don’t worry, I am, ok?” Justin stood up and grabbed his keys. “In fact, I’ll head over there now. I’ll see you two later.”
Rayna was at home, sulking again. Her cat had climbed back in her lap, and this time she made no move to push him away. She was unsure what to do about everything… Rayna knew that her heart was entirely Josh’s, but she had no clue how he felt about her. She also knew that she was miserable. Hah, great going Rayna… Lose the man you love and the best friend you’ve ever had all in one day!
Her lips turned down at the corners, the house was too silent. She leaned back and rested her head on a pillow, wishing that sleep would come and never end.
For a while, it seemed maybe Rayna would get her wish. She slept in the chair, in the same position, for a couple of hours. The doorbell startled Rayna from the dreams she was having.
Slowly, she got up and answered the door. "What the hell do you want Justin?"
"To hang out, is that so wrong?" he asked, pushing inside and sitting down. "Heard what happened with you and Josh."
"Oh great... Listen, I really do NOT want to talk about this-"
"Rayna, shut up and listen to me. He's stupid, you shouldn't have the type of feelings for him that you do."
"I can't help it," she stated.
"Do you want to snag him?" Justin inquired.
Rayna nodded. "More than anything, I want to be with him."
"I can help you," he told her. "I can help you get him."
"How?"
"You have to trust me, can you trust me?" She nodded. Justin continued... "Josh likes you too, he just doesn't know he does... I know that doesn't make sense, but trust me, I've known him since before puberty... Anyway, all you have to do is make him jealous."
"I have tried making him jealous, Justin, it never works. It doesn't phase him."
"Because you're going about it all wrong."
"How am I going about it all wrong?"
"Because, you have to hit him where it hurts. Rayna, go out with me."
"Do WHAT?"
"Go out with me. Let me take you out to dinner or something, and he'll have a fit. Trust me. And if that doesn't work, then all you gotta do is act like you're my girl."
"Justin, that is stupid and ridiculous, and wrong."
"Fine, if you don't want him..." Justin stood up and started toward the door.
"Okay, fine... Just give me more info than that on what to do!"
"Great!" A mischevious smile spread across his face as he sat down and began to explain his plans to Rayna.
Josh sat in the living with Chris. It had been a couple of hours since Justin had left, and Josh was beginning to get paranoid. “Why has he been gone for so long?”
Chris shrugged as he blew up an alien on a video game. “Maybe he’s seriously trying to help.”
“I hope so,” Josh frowned. “If he screws it up, I’ll kill him…”
Chris laughed. “He won’t, you know that just as well as I do. It’s not like he’s gone over there to sweep her off of her feet or anything.”
Josh laughed. “Rayna wouldn’t ever date him anyway. She thinks he’s arrogant.”
Chris and Josh chortled as Justin came in through the door. “Hey guys, I’ve got to go home.”
“You just got back,” Josh exclaimed.
“I’ve got to go home and get a shower and get ready,” he stated.
“For what?” Chris asked. “You said you didn’t have anything to do tonight, I figured we could all go clubbing.”
“I’ve got a date,” Justin replied nonchalantly.
“With who?” Josh’s eyes narrowed threateningly.
Justin smiled, “None of your business… See you guys later,” he left the house and climbed into his car.
Rayna was standing in front of her closet. She had already tried on and discarded five outfits. “Why am I even trying so hard?” she asked her cat. “It’s just Justin, and it’s just a fake date to piss off Josh.”
Xander meowed, and rubbed against her leg. She leaned down and scratched between his ears before rooting through her closet some more. Rayna couldn’t decide whether to wear a skirt, or pants, or shorts, or whether or not to put on a t-shirt, a tank top, a nice shirt… She sighed loudly and sat down. Justin had said they wouldn’t go anywhere too fancy, but Justin was a mischievous little devil. Rayna pulled out a black skirt with a denim-like material, and set it on her pillow. It came right above her knees, and was part of one of her favorite outfits to wear. She looked at the shirt that she usually wore with it, and frowned. Her mind knew she couldn’t wear that shirt, because she had to seem like this date mattered in case Josh saw them. She picked up the black skirt, and put it back in the closet and extracted a pink one. She hardly ever wore pink, though Josh said she looked nice in it. She settled on wearing that with a cute pink spaghetti strap that matched it perfectly.
“What do you think, Xander?” Rayna smiled when the cat meowed loudly and began to purr. “I wonder what people would do if they knew I took advice from a cat,” she mused aloud before heading into the bathroom to fix her make up. She was still applying eyeliner when there was a knock on the door. She walked through the living room and opened it; she smiled when she saw Justin. “Give me a few more minutes,” Rayna stated, “I’m not quite done.”
“Alright,” Justin laughed a bit. “I can’t believe you’re taking this so seriously.” He sat down in the recliner and turned on the TV. “Take your time.”
She returned back to the bathroom without replying and finished getting ready. Rayna then went back into the living room, and sat down on the couch.
Justin looked at her, and grinned. “You look hot,” he told Rayna. “And I’m not lying, Josh would die if he saw you, not wonder he says you should wear more pink.”
She blushed, and looked away. “Thank you,” she told him quietly. “You look good too,” Rayna added. Justin was wearing a pair of lose fitting jeans, and a tight black top. She had never really noticed how attractive he was before, because she was always focused on his less than pleasing personality.
“Well, are you ready to go?” Justin asked, standing up.
“Yeah, I am,” Rayna smiled back and stood up as well. “So where are we going?”
“Well, inside sources tell me that Josh and Chris will be out clubbing, so I figured we could go out to eat before hand and then go to the club, if that’s okay.”
Rayna chewed her lip… “Well, don’t you think that it would piss Josh off worse if we did something other than that? I mean, you know, went out to a nice dinner and then you know, to like a movie or to a play or something? That way it seems more like a real date and not just friends going out?”
Justin thought, then smiled. “I like your way of thinking, that makes much more sense. I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”
Rayna smirked. “Well, we better get going,” she stated. Justin nodded and crooked his arm, and Rayna took it as they walked out to his car. He opened the door for her, and then crossed the front of the car and climbed in. This night was going to be interesting.
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Josh frowned as he danced with a girl at the club. He wondered where Justin was, and he suspected that he knew who his date was. It was no secret that Justin had always had a small thing for Rayna, and Josh had a feeling Justin had found his perfect window of opportunity. He smiled at the girl as the song ended and found Chris at the bar. "I’m going home!” he called over the music. “If you need a ride later, call me!”Chris nodded. “Okay!” He turned back around and took another swig of his drink as Josh walked off.
When he got home, Josh tried to call Rayna. “…Hey, I’m not home… Leave me a message, and I’ll do my best to call you back as soon as possible, bye!” His hand slammed the receiver down and he cursed. Josh gave a guttural noise as he dialed Justin’s cell phone, and he made yet another whenever he didn’t get an answer. Josh couldn’t believe Justin would do this to him.
Rayna smiled as Justin took her hand when they came out of the movies. He hadn’t acted the way he usually did; he was a different guy all together whenever his friends weren’t around. Granted, Rayna wasn’t fond of the fact he was two people, but it wasn’t that huge of a difference. If anything, Justin was just a normal guy, which she liked.
“Thanks for letting me take you out,” Justin said quietly as they got in the car. “I had a really nice time, and that’s not a lie. I hope you’ll go out with me again sometime.”
She pondered for a minute, before formulating her answer. “I had fun as well, Justin. I think I would enjoy going out with you again, but I don’t want to end up giving you the feeling that I am using you only in order to make Josh jealous or anything. I honestly had a nice time, and you are much different than I thought. I’m not saying I want to jump into anything, I only want to be honest and forewarn you I don’t know what will happen if we continue to go out.”
Justin nodded. “I’m glad to know that it’s not just for your own gain,” he stated. “Because, to be honest, those weren’t my sole intentions in asking you out tonight.”
Rayna thought again for another moment, “I wasn’t sure if it was or not.”
They sat there in an awkward silence for at least two minutes, before Justin spoke up again, “So, um, do you want to go out again on Sunday night?”
“Yeah, that would be nice,” she agreed quietly, just as he pulled into her driveway.
Justin got out of the car and opened Rayna’s door. He walked with her to the door, and stood on the stoop with her. “Good night, Rayna. I hope you have pleasant dreams, and I’ll more than likely see you before Sunday…” he planted a quick kiss on her cheek before disappearing back to his car and driving off.
Rayna stood there for a few seconds, staring after the retreating car. She let out a rather large sigh before letting herself into the house. Her feet carried her systematically to the shower, and then she climbed into bed. It was after midnight, and she was tired. Rayna sighed once more before closing her eyes to sleep.
Josh paced furiously, dialing Justin every ten minutes. He had to find out what was going on. Finally, his call not only went through but was answered.
“Hello?” Justin sounded happy, too happy, Josh thought.
“Where the hell have you been? Or rather, why the hell have you been out with Rayna?”
Justin laughed. “You ditched her, Josh. That makes her open claim. And I moved in. I like her, a lot. You have known that for ages. It was your own fault."
“And you know that I-“
“That you what, Josh? That you had a fling with her and broke her heart? That counts as claim? One would hardly think so. We had fun tonight, Josh. And we’re going to go out again. You lost your chance, and you can’t blame for that in the least bit, and you know it.”
Josh frowned, and cursed loudly. “Dammit Justin! This isn’t fair, and you know it isn’t!” He ran his fingers angrily through his hair as he flung himself down into a chair. “I can’t believe you’d do this to me!”
“Me? Well, Josh, you knew it would happen sooner or later. You lose, get used to it. That’s how it always is and always will be... You losing.” Justin’s smirk was audible as he continued to berate Josh.
“Shut up already!” Josh finally screeched. “I know I did something stupid, okay? But I don’t care. If she is stupid enough to fall for your games, let her fall. Screw it, I’m done worrying about it.” He hung up, and grimaced as he hurled the phone across the room. It hit the wall, and fell apart into pieces. Josh didn’t even notice. He began to drift in his thoughts...
“You’re so cute!” Rayna pinched his cheeks as they sat next to each other at a comedy club.
“I am not,” Josh stuck out his tongue and wrapped her in a tight hug.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
“I love you, too, Sissy,” he kissed her cheek and bonked her lightly on the nose.
Rayna sighed. He would never understand what she meant. He refused to see it, refused to believe it. He thought that she only thought of him as a friend, he had never been more wrong in his life. Never.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, big blue eyes full of concern for his friend.
“Just tired,” Rayna lied. She couldn’t tell him truth, she couldn’t put him through it. He would only feel guilty, and Rayna couldn’t stand the thought of being the reason he would feel that way.
“Do you want to go home?” he asked, peering at her face.
“Yeah...”
“Okay,” Josh stood up and took her hand as they exited the room.
“How stupid could I be?” he asked himself. “I can’t believe it’s all my fault that I have to go through this... Why did I have to be so stupid? What did I do to deserve this... Why didn’t I...” Shaking his head, Josh got up and went to his room. He couldn’t dwell on this, not tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a good night. Hating himself wouldn’t help anything, hating Justin wouldn’t help anything, and God knew he couldn’t hate Rayna no matter how hard he tried.