This Way (Our Love Story Series part 3) by Coffee

Index

Chapter 1: Chapter One
Chapter 2: Chapter One
Chapter 3: Chapter Three
Chapter 4: Chapter Four
Chapter 5: Chapter Five
Chapter 6: Chapter Six
Chapter 7: Chapter Seven
Chapter 8: Chapter Seven
Chapter 9: Chapter Eight
Chapter 10: Epilogue

Chapter 1: Chapter One

"Fa la la... da da da..."

Justin rolled over and stretched his limbs, letting out a monstrous groan.

"Dooby dooby do... shooby ba bop ba..."

"Emerald shut up!" he pulled a pillow over his head.

"Oh go... eat something," she shouted from the shower.

Justin chuckled while sitting up. Damn what ever reporter had asked him about cereal. He'd never escape it.

"Is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thang down flip it and reverse it."

Justin tuned out Emerald's singing and headed down the stairs. He had just removed a carton of eggs from the fridge and set them on the counter when he heard the heavy poounding of two little feet come down the stairs and around the corner.

"Dad!" Isaiah launched himself at his father.

Luckily Justin knew his son well enough to know his plan and turned around in time to catch the boy in midair. He adjusted the 7 year old in his arms and kissed his cheek.

"Morning I."

"Dad!" he sounded again, "I'm going with Uncle Chris to the movies."

"Really now?"

"Yeah! Mom said I could! He'll be here any minute-,"

The doorbell rang, followed by the door opening and a voice filterinf in from the foyer.

"Chris!" Isaiah wiggled from his father's arms and ran down the hall, out of sight.

"Chris! Chris! Chris!"

"Isaiah! My main man! Gimme five... up high... down low... ohhh to slow!"

"No fair!"

Justin snickered at the voices in the hall and once again heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Judging by the click-cloc of the heels meeting hard wood, it could only be one person. One woman in particular.

"Baby?"

He turned with a smile at the sound.

"Chris called this morning. He offered to take Isaiah out, I told him he could--What? Why're you smiling like that?"

"Nuttin," he gave her a hug and a soft kiss, "I was just gonna tell you Happy Day After Anniversary."

She let out a sappy noise and gently scratched the back of his neck.

"Happy Day After Anniversary."

His arms tightened around her and they shared a few more kisses.

"A friggin year and they're still at it huh kid?"

"Yeah," Isaiah sighed and Chris ruffled his hair.

"What are you still doing in your pajamas? Go get changed so you guys can go. Go on," Emerald shooed her son up the stairs before returning to the kitchen.

"Christopher," she said his name in that way, that motherly way.

"Hey Em," he gave her a one armed hug.

"Be careful with my baby, you hear me?"

"Are you kidding me? As if I, Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick the only, would ever do something to endanger the life of our innocent Isaiah."

The couple simply gave him a look.

"Justin, make sure Isaiah's shoes match before you let him leave," she pulled her keys off the hook by the back door.

"I'll see you when I get home," she kissed his cheek.

"When will that be?"

"Baby, your food is burning," she said on her way down the hall.

"Shit!"

Chris's snicker echoed through the room.

Emerald was in her office trying to find some papers in the mess that was her desktop when her phone rang. She looked back and forth between the reciever and the papers in her hands a few times before dropping them.

"Emerald Timberlake," she answered.

"Hey baby."

"Hey yourself. What's going on?"

"You remember Lance's Bar-Be-Que a few weeks ago?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember what we did after?"

She thought back, a slow grin easing onto her face.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I was thinking you could take the rest of the day off and we could reenact it."

"That's tempting, but Just, I can't."

"Why?"

"I've got work. Besides, we reenacted that the other night."

"We skipped a part."

She giggled.

"I'm sorry hunny but I can't."

His huff could be heard over the phone, "Fine."

"I'll see you at home."

"Alright."

"Bye."

She hung up the phone and smirked at it before returning to the task at hand. She hadn't even picked up another page when it rang again.

"Emerald Timberlake."

"How about taking your lunch now?"

"I have a lunch meeting."

"Dammit."

"Goodbye Justin."

She hung up the phone and waited to see if it was going to ring again. It didn't.

Emerald left her office soon after her calls from Justin. She had lied to him, sorta. She did have a lunch meeting, but it didn't have anything to do with her job. She had a doctor's appointment, and she felt alittle bad that she'd lied to her husband. She felt alittle bit bad that he wasn't going to be there. But it was all for the better. They'd been trying to get pregnant again since they'd gotten married and if it turned out her intuitions were wrong it would break Justin's heart. Keeping it a secret until she knew for sure was the best idea.

The office was only a few blocks from her work and she was immediately taken to a room because of her last name. She was saw by a man named Dr. Masters who drew alittle blood and left, saying he was takin it to the lab and would return in a few minutes. Emerald sat on the examining table, butterflies floating in her stomach. She didn't want to admit it to herself because she didn't want to have to deal with the disappointment if she was wrong, but she was extremely excited about having another baby. She loved Justin, she loved Isaiah, she wanted to give her husband another child and her son a sibling, she wanted another little person to call her Mommy.

"Well Mrs. Timberlake," Dr. Masters stepped into the room and closed the door to ensure her privacy, "Your assumptions were right. You're nearly two months pregnant."

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Chapter 2: Chapter One

Emerald paced back and forth, running her hands over her now short brown hair. She was nervous and she didn't even know why. It was just her husband, it was just Justin. He left to go on tour 4 months ago and she was now a very big, very round, 8 months pregnant. Emerald paused, looking over their livingroom one more time. She could still remember the days before he left to start the 'Blue Eyed Soul' tour. Unfortunately those days were spent away from her, in the UK. The moment she found out he was leaving, wasn't the fondest memory she had.

"You're leaving?" Em looked up from the oven in surprise.

"Yeah, I have some dates in England."

"Wh-When?"

He hung his head slightly.

"Tomorrow."

"What?!" she put a lid on a pot and stepped toward him.

"I leave tomorrow morning."

"Tmoorrow? Tomorrow morning. And you're just NOW telling me?"

"Em, I forgot-."

"You forgot?!"

"Yes, things have been crazy. I've got dates flying all around me."

"Why do you have anything scheduled anyway? I'm pregnant and you're going away on tour in less than a week. I wanted to spend time with you, Isaiah was looking forward to spending these last days with you."

"It's only for like, 2 days Em."

"So what? That's not the point Justin. you're leaving and you didn't bother to tell me."

"Baby, I forgot."

"Oh-," she wanted to say more but bit her tongue, "Fine. Fine," she turned back to the oven, ignoring his presence.

"Em-."

"Fine Justin," he voice was firm, annoyed.

He hated that. Whenever something was bugging her, he would want to talk about it, she would say 'fine'. She heard only his heavy breathing for a moment before he huffed and stormed up the stairs.

How could he not tell her? How could he say nothing? Forget. Ha! Forget my foot. What the hell was he thinking just springing this on her? It was bad enough he was leaving her alone with a 7 year old to tour, now their 8 days were being cut short. With that in mind, did she really wanna spend the night being mad at him? Did she wanna sleep int he spare room down the hall and wake up to find him already gone?

Emerald stood in the doorway, the lights were off, the open window letting a glow enter. Justin lay in the middle of the bed on his back, staring out at the sky. She couldn't help it, she was angry with him, but she was entraced by him; and she didn't want to spend the night alone when she didn't have to. Walking over to the bed, she pulled back the blankets and laid next to him, watching him. He didn't speak, didn't move, but obviously he was aware of her presence. Sitting up on her knees, she placed one leg on either side of his body and laid on top of him, her body on his torso, her face on his neck. she breathed deeply, his scent overtaking her, consuming her, drinking all of her in.

His hands instinctively reached up to rest comfortingly on her back.

"Em I'm sor-."

"Don't. Let's not talk about it anymore."

He sighed.

"What do you want me to do Emerald?"

"Hold me," he arms slide under him and pulled him closer, "Hold me like you have to leave tomorrow."

That night hadn't been fun, but laying in bed with him had. She loved laying with him, laying in his arms. She needed that, she needed to feel him. She still wasn't completely over her rape, and she wasn't sure she ever would be, but she knew that when he held her, it didn't hurt as much. Maybe it was his strength, maybe it was the way she felt comforted and protected, maybe it was just the pure love she knew he held for her, but whatever it was, it was addictive. It got her through days and nights, memories and panic attacks. She didn't know how she made it through the last 4 months without it, but she didn't know she was ready for some major Justin loving, regardless of how big her belly was.

She stepped into the family room, spotting Isaiah playing some game on his Xbox, and nodding to the large man sitting next to him. Stone, that was his name. Her own personal bodyguard. First he got her an attack puppy , who turned out to be a lazy, greedy little dog named Sally, then he pulled a man more qualified than his own security to watch after her while he was away. She smirked to herself, if she even doubted that Justin would do anything to keep her safe, her doubts were silenced the moment he stepped into the picture.

"I do NOT need a bodyguard."

"I don't know Em," Justin ran his hand over his face, "I don't like the idea of you being here alone."

"Justin, anyone ever tell you you worry too much?"

"I'm serious Em. I just saw this show where they talked to sex offenders and one dude said he specifically looked for women staying home alone. They wait till you're asleep and vulnerable and then BAM!"

"Justin," she groaned his name, she was well aware of what happened after the BAM.

"Sorry baby," his hand fell on her thigh, "I just worry about you. I want you to be safe."

"I am. You set this house to be locked up tighter than Fort Knocks. And I'm not alone-."

"Oh sure, Isaiah and Sally," he rolled his eyes.

Sally sat up when she heard her name, looked at the two for a moment, groaned, and laid her head back down to continue her never-ending nap. Justin motioned to her as if to say 'see' and Emerald giggled.

"Justin," she sighed, "You've lost it."

"Emerald."

"Justin."

"Em."

"Just."

"Emmy."

"Justy."

"Mami-."

"Don't call me that. Save it for your songs, senor," she giggled.

"Senorita-."

"That's senora to you. I'm a married woman."

His arms circled her waist and pulled her into his lap.

"I'm aware."

He kissed her softly. She smiled gently and leaned her forehead against his, her hands resting on his shoulders. His kisses trailed down her chin to her neck, where he nibbled at the hollow of her neck.

"You're very married. And you're very good at it," she grinned madly, "You take care of me, and you're having my baby," he put his hands on her protruding tummy before sliding them around her to her behind and squeezing, "And you look so sexy doing it."

That got her, she melted in his arms with a giggle, and tilted her head to the side, allowing him to continue his nibbling.

Winston contined to wait in the living room. He hadn't heard a word form the family room in minutes. Deciding to check on them he made way down the hall, finally finding the couple perched on the sofa, rubbing noses and kissing tenderly.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat, not wanting to ruin their moment but having too.

"Am I still needed here?" he asked.

"Yes."

"No."

The answers were giving simultaneously.

"Justin," Emerald glared down at him.

"Emerald, yes."

"Justy-."

"Don't Justy me. Yes," he looked back at Winston to be sure he was understood, "Yes."

Emerald groaned and threw her head back dramatically.

"You'll live," Justin lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers, "I promise."

"So Winston huh? No scary add on's? No Big before Winston? No nickname?" Emerald asked.

"They call me Stone. Cause ya know, Winston, ston, sounds like Stone."

"No," she giggled.

Stone rolled his eyes.

"But alright, Stone it is."

After askined the boys if they need anything, and getting a 'no' from them both Emerald turned and headed back towards the living room, looking out the window for any sign of her long lost husband. It wasn't long ago that she was standing in this exact spot, the same look on her face.

"I'm counting on your guys. She's my wife, and she's carrying my kid. I need you four to take care of her," Justin held onto Emerald with one arm and pointed at the guys with the other.

"Don't worry man," Joey slide his arm around Emerald's waist and pulled her to his chest, "We'll take extra special care of her," he wiggled his eyebrows mischeviously.

Justin frowned.

"Gimme that," he stole her back, "You stay away from her. You three take care of her."

"Justin, I'm a big girl. I can-."

"Shush Em, this has nothing to do with you," Justin rambled off about something while Emerald rolled her eyes with a smile and listened. She loved to listen to his chest rumble when he talked.

"Justin, if you don't shut up and say your goodybes you're gonna miss your flight," Mike spoke up.

Justin quickly hugged the guys and said his goodybes to them before taking his wife's hand.

"Let's go outside, we don't need an audience."

She nodded in responce. Once outside they embraced in a long much needed hug. It would need to last them four months. They pulled apart and he immediately gave her a kiss. It wasn't one of lust or hunger, but of need. He knew that he was going to need to be able to feel this kiss on his lips for the next four months.

"If I can, I'll fly back. Any little break I get, I'll be back here," they both knew breaks would be few and far between if they came at all.

He embraced her again and kissed her exposed shoulder.

"I'm sorry Em. I'm sorry I can't be here. I want to be here so bad."

"It's okay Justin," she giggled softly, "You'r a performer-."

"But I'm a husband and a father first-," he pulled back to look at her, "I shouldn't be leaving you and Isaiah here-."

"I wouldn't allow you to stay anyway. I'm gonna be fine, Isaiah will be fine, the baby will be fine. We've been through worse before. Besides," she smiled and nodded to the closed front door, "I've got those four goona and a marcial arts expert looking out for me."

"Yeah, watch out for Joey. I know exactly how sneaky he can be."

She laughed.

"Go. Hurry up before your late. They only hold planes so long for superstars."

He nodded and kissed her gently. Before he'd even completely pulled away she kissed him again.

"Isaiah! Come say 'goodbye' to Daddy!" she called to the little boy chasing Sally around.

Isaiah ran over, Justin dropped to one knee when he reached them and hugged him tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you little man."

"Miss you too Dad."

"Take care of your Mom for me alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Love you bud," he kissed his forehead before ruffling his hair.

"Love you too Dad," Isaiah shouted as he ran back to Sally.

"I love you too," he kissed her belly button, "And I love you," he kissed Emerald.

"I love you too Just."

He placed his hand on either side of her face.

"God I love you," he whispered before kissing her again.

She giggled against his lips and pushed him away.

"Would you go already?! Geez, you're making me crazy!"

In all honesty she wanted this to be over with so she could run to their room and cry. A horn honked for Justin and he took a step towards the driveway.

"Okay, I'm going. Love you."

She didn't even get to respond before his lips were on hers again.

"Bye Isaiah! Bye baby and baby," he kissed his fingers and placed them on her stomach as he kissed her for the millionth time.

"Love you Justin," she called to him as he ran to the awaiting van.

He turned and blew her a final kiss, signalling he heard her before climbing into the car. The door behind her opened as the van drove off. She quickly wiped a tear away as am arm was laid over her shoulders.

"It's alright Em, you still got us. You know we'll be there for you every step of the way till J gets back," JC said rubbing her arm.

She looked up at him, then at the other three before smiling weakly.

"Well, I could see how you'd be unhappy about those two, but me and JC..." Lance smiled.

Emerald laughed when Chris and Joey muttered and gave Lance a shove.

"It's only four months. You've survived worse right?" JC drew her attention again.

"Right, much worse."

Five years.

"So we're cool right?"

She nodded as he turned and lead her back into the house.

"We're cool."

"Good.

His arm was pulled from her shoulders as he called Isaiah into the house before following the others into the family room. Emerald hugged her arms to herself, thinking back to the last time Justin held her, and looked out the large window at the trail of dust the tires had kicked up in the driveway.

JC had kept to his word. He'd practically lived there with her during Justin absense. Taking her to appointments, getting up with her in the early morning to hold her hair out of her face while she pucked up everything in her stomach, going on grocery stores runs to satisfy her crazy cravings. He'd said it was like he was the one getting ready to have a kid, but thank God he wasn't cause he didn't know how much more he could take.

The woman checked her wrist watch. He was nearly half and hour late. What the hell was taking so long? He had called her this morning, saying his flight was leaving on time and he'd see her soon so what was the hold up? Just as she the idea of something bad begins to grow in her mind she sees a blue van turn onto the long driveway. She couldn't surpress the squeel of delight that leaves her lips as she quickly waddles from the living room to the front door, flinging it open just as he pulls his long body from the vehicle. He makes a mad dash towards her, skipping up the 3 front steps and coming to a halt just infront of her.

Her eyes look him over, he looked so good. His curls were growing back in a brown color and his face was clean shaven. He looked alittle bigger, probably from workin out and dancing daily again. Most of all those baby blues and white teeth were gleaming in her direction and she never felt more special.

"Oh my God, you're big."

There went that moment. She gave him a look before his arms encircled her. She sighed with contentment, her protected Justin comfort feeling returning to her.

"Thanks alot," she pinched his side, "I need to hear that."

"You're a beautiful big tho," he took her chin and gently kissed her before putting his hands on either side of her stomach and looked down in awe.

She stood there watching him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. She'd been thinking the same thing the past several days as she watched her body change and grow to accomidate the life growing inside. Before long, as expected, the moment was interupted by a seven year old who'd had entirely too many pixie sticks.

"Dad!"

Justin barely cause the flying child, but was immediately knocked onto his back. He chuckled on the floor with this son, exchanging 'hi's and 'how you doing's before they eventually got up. He said hi to Stone, who then left, leaving the family along.

"Your feet are huge."

"Shut up!"

"Look at those. I'm callin you Big Foot from now on."

She straightened her legs out next to his.

"Their smaller than yours."

"Good, I'd be worried if they weren't."

She laughed.

"You're evil."

"I'm not evil. I love you."

"You do not-."

"And your gigantic feet."

"Shut up!"

Justin smirked at her and watched as she pretended to pout before pulled in her closer, her body resting against his side as he lazily flipped channels on their bed.

"You've been saying it's been going pretty smooth so far right?"

"Yeah, everything normal. Including the morning sickness. I hate it, it's terrible."

"I remember the morning sickness from before I left."

"For some woman it goes away, but I'm not that lucky," she pouted again and he kissed her lips, slightly tugging on her bottom lip before pulling away.

"Think you're gonna pop soon?"

"People don't pop Justin."

"You know what I mean."

"Well, the due date is like a week away. you made it home in time."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he smiled at her before leaning down to her stomach, "No, I wouldn't miss seeing you come into the world for anything. You're gonna be my little princess-.'

"It could be a boy ya know."

"Shush, it's not. It's my princess. Aren't you? And we're gonna name you Angel, aren't we? Yes. I know I was gone along time and I'm sorry, but now I've got so much to tell you. Remember your bone head Uncle Chris? Well let me tell you about this one time he called me on the road..."

Emerald smiled softly as her husband laid his head on her belly and continued his ramblings to his child. She didn't know where he'd gotten the name Angel from, but she could let him think that for the moment.

Justin talked to his 'daughter' for nearly two hours before looking up at Emerald, her eyes closed and her breathing was light, despite the fact that she was snoring softly. He smiled at her and placed a kiss on her stomach, then a lingering one on her lips before laying beside her.

After what felt like minutes but was really hours he awoke with a start and turned and looked at Emerald's figure in the darknss. Something was up. Suddenly her eyes shot open, stardling him.

"Em?"

Before he could even finish speaking she'd sprung from the bed and was in the bathroom. He laid motionless, listening to find out what she was doing. It was 3am, she was never up at 3am. finally she made a noise and cringed at her hacking.

He got up slowly and followed the light over to the bathroom. Pushing open the door he found her crouched over the tiolet, head in the bowl. Snatching a hairtye off the counter he pulled her hair back off of her face and then sat next to her, rubbing her back. After a minute she sat back on her legs and Justin wiped her face with toilet paper.

"Done?"

She nodded 'yes' before dropping her head back intot he toilet, heaving almost violently.

"Or not," Justin muttered.

He placed his hand on her back with a sigh. This was going to be a long night.

"Em, have you seen my guitar?" Justin pocked his head into the bedroom.

"Family room closet."

"Thank," he turned and headed down the stairs. He felt like writing, or playing around or... doing anything really. The baby was due any moment now and he was doing anything in his power not to sit over Emerald like hawk. He'd been caught doing that before and she kept saying it creeped her out.

"Oh my God!

"What?!" Justin was immediatly there again, "What is it?"

"They just cut him."

"What? Who cut who?"

"They cut Jamie."

His face was blank, "huh?"

"On Making the Band 2, white kid, rapper. Geez Just, your in the music buisness, you'd think you'd be up on this stuff."

Justin rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed, smacking his wife on the head with the paper in his hand and then heading for the door again.

"What was that for?"

"I thought you were in labor or something."

She smiled softly at the disappointment on his face.

"Just hold your horses big boy. The day will be here soon."

A few hours later Emerald made her way down stairs to the kitchen, the Making the Band marathon now over. She set her dishes in the sink and stood still for a moment. The house was silent, no music playing, no videogames, no nothing at all. Turning around she glanced out the window and there she spotted her family Isaiah was trying to get lazy Sally to chase the bubbles he was blowing and Justin was doing something with his blue guitar.

Emerald watched him curiously as his head bobbed slightly as he played before stopping to scribbling on a notepad next to him. Cocking her head to the side she quietly waddled her way through the doors and onto the deck.

"Hey," she spoke softly.

"Hi," he offered a hand to help her sit in the chair next to him.

"Whatcha working on?"

"Just a song."

"Ah. For the next album?"

"Maybe, it could be. I was umm... I was actually writing it for you," he smiled sheepishly.

"Awww. For me? Play it, play it."

"No."

"Come on! You can't tell me your writing me a song and not sing it for me," she tugged on his arm.

"It's not done."

"I don't care! Come on, come on, come on," she shook hims vigeriously.

"Alright! Alright!" he put a hand on her tummy when she stopped, "Just be care there, you're carrying my baby."

She nodded and he gave her a grin before starting to play. The song was slow, soulful. It soothed her instantly and she leaned her body against him, one arm going around his waist, the other laying idly on her stomach.

Girl I find you so amazing

With everyday I learn more about you

The way you work day out and day in

And still find time for us to grooze yeah

I love the fact that you're there for me when I feel down

No matter what I'm going through

Lately I've been questioning myself

Am I good enough for you?

Am I worthy of?

Am I man enough?

Am I strong enough

To maintain this love?

You got me questionin'

Got me wonderin'

Could I be that man

That can keep you happy?

"Aww Justy, that was so beautiful," she hugged him tightly and he blushed, "Ofcourse you're worthy baby."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"Sometimes I'm not so sure."

Emerald looked up at him, reassurance in her eyes. She didn't have to say a word, just kissed him gently. His eyes traveled down to her stomach again and his hand rubbed her belly gently.

"You know, after the baby comes everything will be great. I can feel it. You, me, Isaiah, and the little princess are going to be just perfect."

Back to index

Chapter 3: Chapter Three

Emerald rolled over, trying to find a more comfortable position. Her back just had this thing that wouldn't go away. It was almost like a bubble, just this pain that kept sticking out. It would fade away, and just when she started to drift off, it would come back again. She changed positions again and an unconsious Justin puts a hand on her hip, tellin her to hold still or go somewhere else. Her eyes pop open where there's an oldly familiar sensation down below. Woman know it well, when something's coming out and they didn't plan on that happening.

Then she feels it, that bubble starts to grown and press into her spine she sits up swiftly. The bubble grows alittle more and her breathing become labored as she tries to figure out what's going on. Was this labor? Sure she'd been through it before but Isaiah didn't feel like this. His pain was much more... blunt.

"Just. Justin," she shakes him roughly once the bubble begins to desolve for the moment.

He mutters something incoherant.

"Justin. Wake up," she shakes him again.

"Go away Em."

"Justin. I think it's time."

"Noooo... we just went to bed, it's not time to get up. Don't worry I set the alarm, go to..." he started snoring and she outright shoved him.

"What?" he gave her a look, his eyes squinted.

"It's time, we need to go to the hospital."

"Time? Time. It's time? Now?"

She nodded and he sat up immedaitely, springing from the bed and running over to the closet.

"Where's your bags? Where are my pants? Did you call someone to come watch Isaiah? Naw, your in labor, you don't do stuff like that."

Justin was running around like crazy, trying to do a dozen different things at once. He had the house phone on one ear, his cell on the other, as he tried to pull his clothes on as she carried her stuff to the door. It was so cute seeing him nervous and alittle shaky like that. She almost smiled at it, almost. She would have, had that damn bubble not come back.

They finally left the house 20 minutes later, moving only when the bubble was hiding. Justin called the guys from the car. JC met them at the hospital and took Isaiah so Justin could be rushing into a delivery room with his wife. Emerald was only 3 centimeters dialated, but it felt more like 19, especially when they had to put their hands places to check stuff. She wished she wasn't wearing that paper gown because she wanted to kill the next person who came towards her with latex gloves. She went through her moods, trying to find someway to deal with the pain. She laid on the ball, she stood up on all fours, she laid on her side, she walked a circle around her room. At one point she was laying nakes on the bed, the meer thought of the blanket being laid over her becoming an irritation.

But after coachin her through another contraction and giving her the best present in the world at the moment, a bucket of ice chips, Justin convinced her to let him cover her up. As soon as another contraction hit she gave him a glare, told him she hated him, and squeezed the hell out of his hand.

"Mr. Timberlake?" a nurse stuck her head in the door, "You've got a few gentlemen out here who wanna say 'hello'."

Justin looked down at Emerald.

"Honey, do you feel up to seeing the guys?"

She sighed as the pain came to an end and nodded.

"Let 'em in."

The nurse stepped out of the way and allowed the guys to file through the door. They greeted the two on the bed with hugs before sitting down.

"How are you?" Lance asked.

"Never better," she smiled.

"Excited?

"You have no idea-," before Justin could finish Emerald groaned and arched her back slightly.

"Another one?"

She nodded her head vigerously, holding back to words that ached to spill from her mouth because of the guests in her room. Justin's hand moves down to her stomach, rubbing in small cirlces as he watches the monitor intently. She groaned again and he laid his other hand on her head.

"Just breath... half over... okay the worst is over... almost over... there back at zero."

She sighed and didn't open her eyes for several moments. When she did , four pairs of amazed eyes stared back at her.

"Woah..." Joey breathed.

"You could say that again."

"Woah..."

"Have you had one of those epadural things?" Chris leans his elbows on his thighs.

"No, not yet."

"You should get one. We were watching this show in the waiting room-."

"Chris... there's no need to talk about that," JC stopped him.

Hanging out in the waiting room, was anything but fun.

Things were unexpectantly quiet. Too quiet. JC opened one eye and studied the group before him. Emeralds parent and the girls hadn't arrived yet, it was just the other three members and he. Theys at infront of him staring at the TV. They were entraced. Something unusual for them.

"Oh my God," Chris leaned closer to the screen.

JC looked over just in time to see a woman being wheelin out of her room and hear the narrator say, "If Dr. Jankens doesn't get her patient into surgery now, she could bleed to death."

"Excuse me!" he called loudly, "Can we change the channel? This isn't the best thing to show in a waiting room."

"I, for one, thought it was interesting."

"Joe, you find pepperoni interesting," Lance rolled his eyes.

"Well think about it, how do they get those little things in the meat?"

Before Emerald could finish laighing she moaned again. This time louder and more intensly than before. Justin stood up and placed his arm behind her to help her sit up.

"Are you having another one?"

"This one's worse."

Justin pushed the call button before turning back to her.

"Breathe, control your breathing Em, come on," he demonstrated by doing her lamase.

After a few 'he-he-hoo's she joined in, relief evident when the pain started to fade from her mind. Once she felt she finially has a hold over it, she diverted her eyes to other aspects of the room. whens he focused on the guys she giggled inwardly and nodded her head for Justin to look as well. They were breathing along wit her, most likely subconciously.

"Did someone ring-?" the nurse paused when he spotted the four grown men breathing rather exaggeratedly.

"Looks like you've got plenty of moral support," she smiled.

Emerald hardly found it funny. The woman had thrown off her concentration and she was back in mind-blowing pain. Justin didn't miss the wy her grip tightened on his hand.

"Uh.. she's gonna be need that medication soon."

The nurse nodded.

"I'll call your doctor."

A few moments later there was a quick knock at the door before a man walked in.

"Someone said I was needed?"

Emerald's groan was her only responce.

"She wants-."

"Drugs! Of any shape or form."

Everyone in the room stiffled a laugh. Dr. Masters checker the monitors at Emerald's besdie before nodding to the nurse that had accompanied her.

"Well fellas," she turned to the guys, "If you want to leave, now would be the time. It's going to get ugly from here on out," she began to put Em's feet in the sturops.

Joey and Chris were out the door in a flash, a shouted 'bye' echoing down the hall after them. Lance hung back long enough to say good luck before chacing after them. Josh walked to her bedside and kissed her forehead, an act that made Justin scowl inwardly. Being affectionate with her was fine before, but she was his wife now. He didn't find it appropriate anymore and he'd never be comfortable with it. It was a supposed to be a secret that JC felt something for her, thought if you knew him, the signs were plan as day. Justin knew that nothing would never happen between them. JC was too good of a friend and Emerald was too devoted to him for their emotions to ever get the best of them one night. But still, in the far corners of his mind, he always wondered, and he was always worried.

"Keep them outta trouble will ya? They're just iching to break something out there," Emerald said.

"I'm on it. I've been Dad longer than you've been Mom."

She nodded and turned her head when he turned to leave.

"Oh! Jayce! JC come back," she grabbed his hand when he returned.

For a moment she didn't say a word, but JC's face controtrd in pain as her fingers tightened on his. Justin smirked for a second, better JC's hand then his. Served him right for liking his woman anyways.

"Jayce," Em finally spoke, "Do me a facor?"

"Okay," he hastily pulled his hand away when her grip loosened, but she grabbed his shirt collar instead.

"Bring me ice."

"Ice?"

"Yes, lots and lots of ice."

"Okay," he was slightly confused.

"Good. Thank you," she released him slowly.

JC shot Justin a look of pleading, he clearly didn't have any idea what to do, and didn't want to be in that position. Justin returned it with a nod.

"I'll get the ice," he said.

A few moments later, just as Justin returned with the bucket a woman walked in with a bright smirk and cute little ponytail. Emerald hated her automatically. Maybe it was mean, but she wasn't going to like anyone who was cheery while she was suffering.

"Mr. and Mrs. Timberlake? I'm Dr. Methodust, I'll be your anestigiologist."

"Thank God you're finally here," Em sat up, "I need something. Anything. Whatever you've got I want."

Dr. Methodust chuckled at her enthusiasm, though she'd heard that same plee several times before.

"There's just one or two things I need to discuss with you," she spoke while writting something on a paper.

Emerald rolled her eyes and laid back. She wasn't in the mood to hear anyone talk either. She really just wanted to get this baby out and go home.

"Alright Mrs. Timberlake, this is how the epidural will work... I'll inject it here, just outside your spinal sack. It should kick in rather quickly unless there's fatty tissue or something blocking it. Now, here's the needle I'm going to be using."

Emerald turned her head, "I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna know about it."

Justin on the other hand, wasn't listening to her.

"How big is that?"

"About 10 centimeters, but only 8 will actually be in her body depending on-."

"Shutupshutupshutup!"

The minutes clicked by and Emerald's labor continued on for another few hours before she was finally told to start pushing. Things progressed slowly, and she started to run out of steam in the final few minutes.

"Come on Em, you can do this baby," Justin pushed her damp hair off of her forehead.

"No, I can't," her head lolled to the side.

"Yes you can, you had Isaiah, you can have Angel."

"Justin I don't like that name," she whinned.

"Well we'll talk about it, but first you gotta have the baby. Come on Emerald," he put his arm behind her back, helping her sit up again.

The doctor told her to start pushing again and Justin counted as she did.

"One more good push Mrs. Timberlake and you'll meet your daughter."

She pushed again, as hard as she could and became completely still when the doctor told her to stop. He told her not to push and she sat frozen, staring at the mirror in front of her.

"It's a girl!"

"It's a girl! It's a girl Em, I told you it would be a girl, I knew it! It's a girl," Justin jumped up and down beside her.

The crying baby was layed on her stomach and the couple looked down, crooning over her.

"Mr. Timberlake, would you like to cut the cord?"

Justin looked at the doctor, to Em, to the doctor again.

"I dunno, I might mess up something."

"It's foul-proof. Come on."

Justin moved down the end of the bed and did as the doctor told him, letting out a sigh once the cord was cut. A nurse picked up the baby, saying she was going down the hall to take the baby's measurements and clean her up while someone would take Emerald to a room. Emerald nodded and closed her eyes when Justin kissed her forehead. She laid there for a moment, waiting for someone to say something to her. When no one did she opened her eyes and looked around. The room was empty. She'd been left in the delivery room alone, except for the lone nurse cleaning up the mess.

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Chapter 4: Chapter Four

"Justin I am not going to name my child Angel."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to... now she's my kid-."

"She's mine too."

"But you didn't push her 8 pound butt out."

Justin turned and looked at his wife with annoyance.

"Fine, Angel can be her middle name, but we have to pick a different first name. What about Lyndra?"

Justin snorted, "What about Neveah?"

"Neveah? Isn't Neveah Angel kinda cheesy?"

Neveah was heaven spelled backwards.

"No, Neveah Angel Timberlake is perfect," he wrote it down on the birthcertificate and handed it over to the awaiting nurse.

Then he walked over to her and lifted the sleeping baby out of her arms, "Isn't it princess? Yes it is. Nothing's to good for Daddy's Angel."

"Just, can we go?" she asked.

"Yeah," he handed Neveah back and moved behind her wheelchair, "Let's go home baby."

When the couple reached the house, Emerald watched as Justin ran around to the backseat to get the baby, then headed towards the house.

"What the hell?" she watched him wide eyed.

Suddenly he turned and ran back towards the car. He opened her door and stretched out a hand for her.

"Sorry."

"Uh-huh," she glanced up at him.

"It was an accident."

"Yep."

He rolled his eyes, "You're not pissed off are you?"

"I'm not mad Justin, I'm tired. I just had baby two days ago."

"The guys are inside. They'll watch Angel and Isaiah while we get you in bed."

"Okay," she leaned her head on his shoulder as they moved up the front stairs and towards the door.

They stepped into the house and were immediatly surrounded by the guys. Emerald's Mom was there, and she gave her daughter a hug and a kiss before joining Lynn in the living, where she was trying to push the boys aside and catch a glimpse of their granddaughter. Emerald sighed and leaned against the wall, watching the scene before her. Her mind was lost in thought for several minutes, until she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. She looked up and stared into familiar blue eyes.

"Hey Jace."

"Hey," he leaned forward and gave her a hug.

Not a rushed congradulations hug, but a real hug. She didn't realize she needed one, till she got one. And she reveled in it. JC pulled back and looked her over carefully, something was wrong.

"You look good Ma," he complimented.

Emerald rolled her eyes, "You're just saying that."

"No, you look good. Especially for having just had a baby."

"Thanks," she blushed alittle and blinked slowly.

"You going to bed?"

"Yeah, it's just takin me a minute to get there."

"Lemme help you."

JC put her arm over his shoulder and his arm around her waist, taking her over to the stairs. He got her up to the bedroom and sat her on the bed before kissing her cheek and stepping back.

"Get some sleep Em," he turned to leave, "I'll see you later."

She waited for the door to close before she kicked off her shoes and slowly climbed under the blankets and settling into the pillows. In just two days her life had been completely turned around. One day her husband loved her, she loved him, they both loved their son, she was pregnant, and they were happy and content with theit lives. Now she was someone she didn't recognise.

She's spent the last two days laying in bed watching her son and he husband go ga-ga over her daughter. Then Justin named her without asking her ideas or opinions, then he'd forgotten her in the car and ditched her at the door. She'd probably still be standing there had JC not come along. It was like he was ignoring her, forgetting about her. Was he? Maybe she was just over reacting. That had to be it. Tomorrow. Things would look better tomorrow.

Tomorrow sucked.

And so did the day after and the day after and the day after that.

Things just weren't working out the way she had planned. Justin had been home for the past 5 days, which was both a blessing and a curse. For one he was keeping the baby busy, but that meant that his attention wasn't in any way directed at Emerald. Isaiah was in school, so during the day she was pretty much alone with her housewife chores. She hadn't gone back to work yet, but she couldn't wait to. It would give her something to do, something to take her mind off of the way that when people came to visit, they'd walk right past her and head for the baby.

She'd expected that, the same thing had happened with Isaiah when he was born. But never had it lasted for days. Never had EVERYONES attention been on him, someone was always there for her. She just figured that since Justin was there now, he'd split his time between them. If not for her son, who was almost as ignored as she was, she'd never have any conversation at all. She was feeling unwanted. Lonely.

She hadn't spent any time with her daughter. During the nights when she cries Justin was the one to get up with her. He fed her formula instead of letting Em nurse. Eventually, Emerald just stopped trying, she'd just watch him go. Because of the fact that during the hours Neveah was supposed to spend with her mother in hospital, were spent with Justin, that maternal bond had yet to form. She had yet to feel that that was really hr daughter, her child. It was more like she'd been hiding this present from him, and now that he finally had it, he was infatuated with it. It held no real meaning for her. And that hurt, because somewhere deep inside she was yearning to be a mother.

The backdoor opened as Isaiah walked in.

"Hey baby, have a good day at school?" she smiled at him.

"It was alright," he said shrugging off his backpack and unzipping it.

At the moment Justin came bounding down the stairs, Neveah's head resting on his shoulder.

"Dad! Dad look. I had to make this picture of my family in class-."

"Not right now Isaiah. Can you show me later?"

Justin smiled brightly at 'Angel' as he walked past Isaiah and into the family room. The little boy sighed and looked down, disappointment evident in his feature. Emerald frowned at how unfair it all was. Wrapping her arm around her son's shoulders, pulling him close to her side she smiled at him.

"You can tell me all about your picture baby," she said.

Isaiah smiled softly, turning in the direction of the stairs leading to his room, Em in tow.

Emerald sat at a stop light in the SUV, willing the aching in her head to go away. She'd been tired and achy ever since she got home from the hospital a week ago. Her cellphone started ringing and that noise didn't help. She grabbed it aggressively and pressed 'send' taking a moment to take a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?" she said as sweetly as possible.

"Mom?"

"Yeah baby, what's going on."

"Dad didn't come to pick me up."

"What?"

"He didn't come."

"Where are you baby? Are you still at school?" she got into the left lane, preparing to make a U-Turn.

"No, Billy's Mom was late so I'm at their house. Can I stay here?" her heartbroke at the saddness in his tone.

"Yeah, you can hang out there for a few hours."

"Kay."

The line was silent for a moment as she tried to think of something comforting to say.

"You know, I bet he thought you had soccer or that I was going to get you. I know be didn't forget."

"Yeah," he didn't believe her, "Well, I'll see you later Mom."

"Okay. I'll pick you up on my way home."

"Okay."

"I love you Isaiah," she hoped that meant something.

"Love you too Mom. Bye."

"Bye," she waited for him to hang up before she hung up herself and immediately she hit the steering wheel, pounding her fist into it.

How could he do this? How could he forget? What was happening between them was one thing, but Isaiah didn't need this. He didn't deserve this. He'd only had his father for 2 years and now it was like he was gone all over again. She picked up her cellphone angrily and pressed in the numbers for Justin's cellphone, wanting to chew him out, but not having the engery. Plus he head was pounding so hard she could barely hear the radio.

Justin laughed at Chris' muttered and set his soda down when his phone began vibrate in his pocket.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"Huh?"

"You were supposed to pick-up Isaiah at two. Where are you?"

"Shit baby, I forgot. I'm at Chris', I decided to bring Angel by."

Emerald sighed on the other end.

"I'll go get him right now."

"No don't, he's at a friends. I decided to let him stay there awhile."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be saying that too. So I see you picked up Neveah's from your Mom's this morning."

"Yeah, I got her," he looked at the baby cooing from Lance's lap.

"Well, I have some stuff to do so you'll probably get home before me. I'm gonna pick up Isaiah on my way. And Just, please don't let Neveah go to sleep. You know she gets up all night."

She may not get up with her, but she was awake for every single cry.

"Em chill. I'm your husband, not a babysitter," he chuckled.

'Then act like it Mister,' she thought.

"Sorry. I know, there's just so much going on."

"I know," Neveah's cries sounded in the backround, "I gotta go. Bye,' he hung up before she could respond.

She made a tsssk noise and then tossed her phone to the back of the vehicle, not caring to have a conversation with anyone.

After running by the grocery store and a few other places she drove to Billy's house to get her son before heading home for the day.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Tyler," she smiled, "I don't know what happened. Miscommunication between my husband and I, I guess."

Isaiah snorted as he stood in front of her and she hugged him tightly in warning.

"It's alright, the same thing has happened with us, I'm just glad I came when I did, before something happened to him."

"Same here. Well Isaiah, we better get going, there's food in the back, I don't want it to spoil."

"Bye Mrs. Tyler, by Bill."

"Thank you again," Emerald led him to car.

The woman her son waved from the doorway as they began the short drive to their house.

"So, did you have fun at Billy's?" she asked.

Isaiah shrugged.

"What'd you do in class today, anything interesting?"

Isaiah shook his head.

"Do you really not feel like talkin right now?"

Isaiah nodded.

"Okay, I can understand that," she took his little hand in hers and gave it a squeeze before turning her attention back to the road.

The drive lasted only a few more silent minutes. When they pulling into the driveway Isaiah opened the door, trying to run into the house. Emerald grabbed his arm.

"Isaiah wait."

He paused and slowly climbed back into the car. Emerald opened her mouth and then closed it again, not really knowing what to say.

"Baby, I know you don't feel like talking, and that's okay. But I wanted to say that I know Daddy's been acting alittle... odd since the baby came. He's been alittle weird with me too. But I don't want you to think that this is anyone's fault. Things are just alittle weird right now. But I know he loves you very much, more than anything and he would never hurt you."

Isaiah didn't even look at her.

"He's very sorry about what happened."

"Why does he do it? He forgetted me today and he ignores me all the time. I tried to show him my picture and he just walk away. I asked him to play a game wif me or watch a movie and he always says he's busy with Neveah-Angel. I wish that stupid baby would just go away," he crossed his arms.

"Don't say that," Emerald touched his arm, "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do! Everything was fine before she came. I wish she never exsisted!" he jumped from the car and ran towards the house.

Emerald got out and ran after him, being that he was so much smaller, she caught him quickly and pulled him into her arms. Large tears rolled down his cheeks and he sobbed into her shirt.

"Honey I know things are weird, and you don't understand. But don't ever say anything like that again. That is your sister and I need to you love her and take care of her okay? Don't regret her, cause I don't."

He only sniffled and kept crying.

"Things are going to be back to normal soon. I promise."

That night things were quiet in the Timberlake home. Isaiah stayed in his room, away from his mothers concerned eyes and out of his fathers way. Emerald sat by herself, thinking. And Justin, he was completely oblivious to it all. He sat in the family room with his daughter watching some sport on TV.

The more that Emerald thought about it, the sadder she became. Her son was right, everything had changed when Neveah came, and she wondered what they would be like she wasn't there anymore. The thoughts worried her alittle, but she thought nothing of them. Everyone at some point in time asks 'what if...?'. It's nothing new, nothing different. But it was time for her to say something to Justin. Things had to change around here before she went crazy and flipped out on everyone.

"Em? I'm going to pick up JC. He's alittle... intoxicated and he doesn't wanna drive."

"Okay."

"I'm leaving Angel here. Take care of my baby," he breezed past her and out the door.

Emerald chewed her bottom lip a moment before sitting up. Maybe now was her chance to say something to him. If she didn't know, she may never have the courage.

"Justin!" she called him back.

"Huh?" his curly head poked around the doorway.

He stared at her with half-interested, anxious eyes. He really wanted to get going so he could get back and be with his daughter. Emerald on the other hand was having a hard time pushing the words forming in her head to her lips. She wanted to yell and scream, chew him out, rip him a new one for the way he'd been behaving. But somewhere deep in her throat the words evaporated and all that came out was air.

"Nothing," she said finally.

He nodded, and was out the door again. Emerald smacked herself the forehead.

"What the hell was that?" she asked herself.

Never had she acted like that before. She'd never been that intimidated by him before, and it made her feel so weak. She waited to hear the car engine start and slowly fade away before she moved from her chair and upstairs to the baby's room. She spotted her, laying in the crib, kicking her feet up in the air. As Emerald approached the baby bed, she gasped at the sight of her daughter. It was like she was seeing her for the first time. Curly dark brown hair, cute little pudgy cheeks, deep blue eyes. She was a female version of her father.

But none of this felt like it was real. Like it had some meaning. She was watching a movie, looking at someone else's child. This wasn't her baby. As she stared down at the little girl, the thought flashed across her mind again. What would things be like is she wasn't here? If she hadn't come along? Or if she was to simply, disappear? It happens, newborns disappear or pass on all the time. Maybe if she were to go away, she would get her husband, her family back. Maybe that was what needed to happen.

Falling back into reality Emerald backed up until her back hit the door. What had she just thought of? What was she thinking? She brought a hand to her mouth in realization. She had considered, for a moment, disposing of her baby. She'd thought of just taking her some place miles and miles away and just leaving her there to fend for herself. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the thought rushed into her mind again. This wasn't right. This wasn't normal. Something was wrong.

Neveah started to fuss from her crib and Emerald stood up not knowing what to do. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't pick her up, she was too afraid. What if she did something? What if she went off into her zone again and hurt her? Tossed her out the open window or pulled the blanket over her face. Oh God... she wanted her child gone. What kind of mother was she? What kind of person was she?

Emerald stumbled out of the room, closing the door behind her. She prayed out loud to God to give her strength as the tears kept coming. She didn't know what she was doing, or what was going to happen. All she knew was something had to change. When Justin got home, she pretended to be fast asleep, he never knew the difference. He didn't even reach across to her side of the bed.

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Chapter 5: Chapter Five

A week later Emerald had another follow-up appointment with her doctor. She'd somewhat mentioned on the phone when she made the appointment that she was feel sluggish and might need some kind of medication. She didn't want to go into full detail about everything that was happening.

"So how are we feeling Emerald? Any better since you called?"

"No, not really. I'm still tired all the time. I have alittle trouble concentrating on things. I get these headaches and sometimes I forget things."

"Feeling any other changes?" the doctor reached up and rubbed his hands over Emerald's neck, feeling for swolleness.

"No. I don't know. Everything is so different. I expected different and I expected things to change but, not like this," she shook her head.

Dr.Masters looked at her a moment before putting his hands on the bed no either side of her.

"Emerald, how are things at home? Besides the symptoms I mean? How are things with you and Justin? You and the baby? You and Isaiah?"

"Me and Isaiah are great. Closer than ever. We go out and do things together all the time," mostly because neither of them wanted to be at home with Justin and the baby.

"You and the baby?"

"Good I guess. I don't get to see her that much cause I'm always so busy. She spends alot of time with her Dad."

"And Justin?"

Her shoulders slumped.

"Things are weird with him now. It's like I'm not even there, like Isaiah not there. All he sees is Angel, all he wants it that damn baby," she paused, "I can't believe I just said that."

Dr. Masters nodded, assuming she was talkin about saying 'damn baby'. In reality she was ashamed she called Neveah Angel.

"It's alright. Feelings like these are expected of people in your condition."

"My condition."

"Emerald, I believe you are suffering from postpardom depression. That mixed with the status of your marriage could make you as stressed and unhappy as you seem to be."

"What? What is post pardum depression?"

"It's a syndrome affecting millions of new mothers in the country. It comes from feeling overwhelmed with the changes brought along with having a baby."

"What does my marriage have to do with this?"

"Well it doesn't help that your upset and you feel like Justin's forgotten you."

Emerald sighed and ran a hand over her face.

"I wish for things to be the way they were before."

"Before the baby?"

She sighed.

"I love my daughter but, I dunno. Sometimes I hate to say it, but sometimes I wish she weren't here."

He placed a comforting hand on her knee.

"I know, and that's normal, as long as you don't act on that feeling. But the problems between you and your husband didn't begin until Neveah came, so it's normal for you to feel some resentment. Emerald I'm going to prescribe to you some pills. They'll help with the tiredness and the forgetfullness."

"And everything else?"

"Well, your marriage, you'll have to work on."

"Joy," she muttered taking the prescription.

"Take 2 every morning, no more no less. In a few days you'll feel much better."

Emerald took the paper from his hand and slid off the table.

"Don't worry Emerald. Post partum usually doesn't last long."

The drive back home was a long one as she looked at the bottle in her hand and thought over the situation. She'd never expected anything like this to happen, these were supposed to be the best years of her life. She was only in her 20's and now she was depressed? Emerald sighed as she pulled up to their large home. As the days went on it started to feel more and more like a prison. It wasn't happy, it wasn't warm, it wasn't home.

As soon as she opened the door Isaiah came barreling towards her.

"Mom, wanna go to the movies. A bunch of new ones are opening today, we can so see them all," he said.

"All? I dunno-."

"Come on Mom, I've been home all day. I wanna go somewhere."

"Why don't you go pick one and we'll see."

He took off running towards the stairs, for a moment glancing towards the room where she assumed Justin was. A basketball game was on the big TV and she walked over to stand in the doorway. Justin was in the middle of the sofa, Neveah perched in his lap leaning back against him.

"See that? That's called double dribble. You can't do that. You can't dribble, and then stop, and then dribble again. Understand?"

Neveah made some noise and Justin smiled.

"It's alright, you got plenty of time to learn. When you grow up your gonna be the best damn chick ball player in the world. And we'll make then give you the number 1/2 and you can say, 'It's all cause of my Daddy.' Can you say Daddy, Angel?"

She made several noises and Justin picked her up to hold her against his chest.

"It's alright. We have time for that one too. You're only a few weeks old. But you'll be talkin and singin and playin ball in no time. We Timberlakes are fast learners."

Emerald watched him as he watched her start to doze off. He turned down the TV and placed a kiss on her forehead, gently rocking her.

"I love you Angel baby," he said to her.

Emerald shifted and the floorboards under her squeeked. Justin looked up and offered her a grin, the first one directed her way in weeks.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

Were they going to have a conversation now? The doorbell sounded. Guess not. Justin stood up carefully and made his way past her towards the door. Emerald sighed and leaned back against the doorframe.

"Hey man," she recognised the voice and felt somewhat as ease. This person was the only one who didn't seem to completely forget about her.

"Look Angel, it's Uncle JC. Can you say JC baby?"

"Justin, she's a month old."

"So? Just wait, tomorrow she'll be like, 'Daddy I don't like this, pass me something else.' Just watch."

JC snorted and followed Justin into the house. He spotted Emerald near the kitchen and walked over to her.

"Hey Ma."

"Hi," she welcomed his hug.

JC stepped back and looked at her face.

"What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she waved him off, "I'm just sleepy."

She smiled and he didn't believe her.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Mom-Hey Uncle C-Mom, there's a movie started in 20 minutes, can we go?"

Emerald scratched at her forehead and cleared her throat.

"Go ask your father."

"Why?" Isaiah gave her a look and held his hands up, "What for?"

"Because I asked you too."

Isaiah rolled his eyes and headed off towards the family room, "Fine but he's just gonna ignore me anyways."

JC turned to look back at her and opened his mouth to ask what that was all about but she cut him off.

"I'm fine Jayce, go see your brother and his daughter," she gently shoved him towards the family room and headed back into the kitchen.

JC's brow furrowed as he wondered what exactly was going on in this house. When he stepped into the family room he found Isaiah standing infront of Justin, who clearly wasn't half interesting in what his son was saying.

"So can we go?"

"Go ask your Mother."

"She's the one who told me to come ask you."

"Well Isaiah, if she's willing to take you then go," he was clearly irritated in a nonthreatening way.

Isaiah rolled his eyes and stomped off. JC looked at Justin. Did he miss something?

"Is something going on? I come at a bad time?"

"No. What do you mean is something going on? What are you talkin about?"

JC raised an eyebrow. Did he not see his wife's face or the way his son just stomped away? JC just shrugged.

"Lemme hold her," he said.

Justin looked at him skeptically for a moment before he handed her over.

"Just be careful with her," he said.

"Dude, I got her. Beat it will ya," he was hoping Justin would go talk to his family about what was creating the tension in the air.

"Well, I do need to go do something. I'll be right back."

JC watched Justin leave the room, headed towards the kitchen, and walk right past Emerald and out to the garage without so much as an exhale in her direction. JC looked down at his niece and sighed.

"Your Daddy has to be the biggest blockhead I know Neveah-Angel. He's clueless isn't he?"

Emerald had been taking her pills daily as Dr. Maters had directed. She was pleasantly surprised when they started to take effect. She wasn't as tired or moody, she had a happier outlook on her life, and they seemed to be helping her ignore her husband sudden personality change. So when her mother called suggesting they have a barbeque, with Emerald providing the food, she didn't see any reason to decline.

"He is so good with her," her mother commented as Emerald returned to the deck in the backyard.

She was looking out at Justin as he pretended to make Neveah walk over to the swing set, talkin to her all the way. Than he sat down with her in his lap and start to swing slowly.

"Yeah is," Emerald agreed.

As much as she wished he didn't spend so much time with her, she had to admit he was amazing with her. Her mother watched her get a far off look in her eyes.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yeah Mom, I'm fine."

"I'm your mother, you can't lie to me. Now come on," she put an arm around her daughters shoulders, "Tell me what's going on."

"It's just, Justin's been really weird since the baby."

"Weird how?"

"Like he doesn't know I'm around. Like he doesn't want me anymore. He hasn't touched me since Neveah came," Emerald looked at her mother, the pain evident in her eyes.

"Oh sweetheart, are you okay?"

"Yeah. The doctor gave me these pills a couple of weeks ago. They're working really well, it's almost like things are getting back to normal."

Almost.

"What is it with men Mama? You give them a couple of kids and suddenly they don't need you," Emerald asked.

"Somewhere in the mix we become mothers, chefs, accountants, chefaurs, madis, and stylists, but we stop being their wives. We stop being women, they forget we need attention too. You know I sufferend from post pardum when I had you, Emerald."

"Really?" she looked at her, "How did you get through it Mama?"

"Well, my situation was different. Your father hadn't put me on the back burner just yet. But I was just so overwhelmed with you. I hadn't gone to college I didn't know how to support you, I didn't know what having a baby was like. After awhile it just kinda faded."

"I'm not that lucky I guess."

"Well, you're lucky in other ways," she brushed the hair off of Emerald's face, "But this too shall pass."

Her mother than excused herself and headed for the house.

"Can you bring Isaiah out with you Mama? It's time to eat."

"Sure sweetheart."

"Just! Time for lunch!" she called out to him.

Emerald set to work putting out all the plates and things as Justin walked towards the house. When he climbed the stairs to the deck she turned to him.

"Hey did you want-," he moved right past her, talkin to Neveah.

Emerald watched him for a moment before turning and walking back into the house. She looked around for her mother or her son before going over to her purse and pulling out the bottle of pills. She looked at the directions, 2 in the morning only. She knew it was going over the dosage, but she really needed it right now. She popped the top and took one. Then she turned back towards the porch and looked at Justin. Emerald picked up the bottle and took another one out before putting the bottle back. She might need that one later.

"Come on dear," her mother touched her arm on her way by with Isaiah.

"I'm coming," she smiled.

Back to index

Chapter 6: Chapter Six

"Now your wife, Emerald, right?"

"Yeah."

"Does she sing? She was a singer right?" Meredith looked to the other ladies for clarification.

"Yeah, that's what she was doing when we met actually."

"Right, I read that somewhere," Star nodded.

"Does she have a nice voice?"

"A beautiful voice. She's amazing."

"Ofcourse he's gonna say that," Joy gave him a knowing look.

He laughed, somewhat nervously for comical affect and Meredith shook her head before returning to the topic.

"She was in a girl group right?"

"Yeah."

"Are they still together?"

"No, they all kinda went there seperate ways when things went crazy with us. They're still friends though, they talk on the phone, they come to visit, she goes to visit them."

"You know what I think, I think you should do a song with your wife," Joy patted his leg.

"Huh?"

"Yeah! You know, be like a Faith and Tim for pop music," Star added.

"I asked her about that and she was like, "No, I'm happy takin care of you and Isaiah."

"Yeah right," Joy muttered.

"Joy! Why do you have to be so negative?" Meredith tilted her head.

"Please, she's happy being in his shadow. Come on. It's one thing if she said, "Baby, I put you where you are and that's good enough for me," but happy taking care of you, come on!"

Justin howled with laughter.

"It's possible for a woman to be content with taking care of her family."

Star gave Meredith a 'hmph' and turned back to Justin.

"Justin how did you meet her?"

"Well, JC drolled on her-."

"What? He what?"

"He drolled on her, it was everywhere. All over him, down his chin, on her-."

"Thanks. Thanks thanks thanks," Joy rolled her eyes.

"Well, she took one of my teeshirts to change into and we talked for a minute. I thought she was cool, she was bananas so-."

"Bananas? What-?"

"Shush Joy, go ahead Justin."

"So I turned on the Timberlake charm and she was in the pan."

Emerald sat watching one of the many tapes she had of him. She'd continued recording them over the years, even after they were married. She wanted them there for him to look at when he was older, so their children would understand who he was and what he did, what he was like when he was younger. Atleast that's why she recorded them, now she played them because she wanted to hear him say her name. He hadn't done that much lately, his voice it's self had faded from her mind into a distant whisper. It was like he was gone and all she had were the quick flashes of his smiles and 'I love you's. Emerald glanced at the clock before clicking off the tape and the tv and standing up.

"Time," she said to herself.

She grabbed her keys and purse off the chair adjacent to the sofa and headed towards the door.

"Mom, where you going?!" Isaiah called, running down the stairs when he heard the front door open.

"The doctor's."

"Again?"

"Yep."

"Can I go?"

"You don't wanna go."

"Yes I do! I can look at the brochures and stuff."

"Try me sweetie, you don't want to go. It's a female doctor thing."

His face squished up in disgust.

"See told ya," she smiled, "Be back later baby," she stepped out the door.

It'd been a nearly two months since she got her first perscription from Dr. Masters. They had helped her depression considerably, she was tired and irritable anymore. She also found that in higher doses they worked twice as well. Whenever a situation was beginning to be to much for her handle, all she had to do was take one and minutes later it was like a wave of calm and happiness washed over her. She couldn't figure out why the hospital wouldn't just let people take them at will, it was a really stupid rule. Regardless, it was a rule.

Because she took so many a day, she quickly ran out of re-fills, meaning she needed to go get another prescription. But Emerald was no idiot. She knew that Dr. Masters was going to ask questions as to why they were gone so fast. For that reason, she went to a different doctor. Then she was called away on business and she accidently left her pills in the hotelroom she was staying at. So she went to a third doctor to get more, and then a forth to get even more incase she lost the 3rd bottle. The pills had become the focus of her life, the most important thing on her mind. She had to have them within her fingertips, she had to be on a high before she could function at all. There were mornings where she couldn't even get out of bed before digging into the little pill box she had stashed in her nightstand.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she had a problem, maybe even an addiction, but she pretty much had it justified. If it made her okay, and made her function correctly and kept some of the pain away, what was wrong with that? She wasn't hurting herself or anyone else, and it wasn't technically illegal, she didn't think. All she knew was she didn't want to have a night like the one she had the day of the picnic.

It was early morning and Emerald Timberlake was still in bed alone. The house was silent, her mother having left and Isaiah in bed. But her husband never joined her after putting the baby down. Despite the fact that they were emotionally distant, she needed him there. It assure her that her thoughts of him having an affair were obsured, even though they weren't.

Emerald got up, pulled her robe over her body, and headed down the hall. She went to the baby's room first, thinking maybe he'd fallen asleep there, or was just standing there watching her as he had many times before. The baby was alone. She peeked in on Isaiah, who was sound asleep and alone. She grumbled to herself and headed down the stairs and into the living room. No one. The kitchen. No one. She went down the final short flight of stairs into the family room and spotted him there on the sofa, sound asleep. There was a beige blanket over him and a white pillow over him. The realization that he was there one purpose hit her like a ton of bricks.

She turned and ran back up the stairs into her bed room, closing the door behind herself so she could sob undisturbed. Throwing herself into the middle of the bed she snatched her pillow and pulled it to her face to muffle her cries. It hurt. It dug deep like a knife. He picked the sofa, over their bed. He didn't want to sleep with her. He didn't want to be with her at all. It was like they were acquatences, not a happily married couple.

Emerald didn't know how much more she could take. Yes, she loved him. Yes, the pills helped. But this wasn't the first time she'd cried in secret, she didn't know if she had many more tears left. She sniffled and dug into her purse for her phonebook insearch of a number she never thought she'd use. Picking up the phone with a shaky hand she dialed the number and listened to it ring a few times before the voicemail picked up.

"Hi Mr. Guthrie, this is Emerald, Emerald Timberlake. I know it's early but this was the only chance I had to call you. I--I wanted to know if you could do me a favor. I need some seperation papers pulled up for Justin and I. Please call me back on my cellphone when you get this," she rattled off the number and hugn up the phone gently.

Her tears were gone, her body completely still, her eyes staring at the phone with caution. She was in shock. In shock with herself, with her situation, with her actions, with herself. She didn't know what else to do.

Shaking the memory from her mind Emerald pulled into the parkinglot. After looking herself over she slide on her shades and stepped out of the SUV. It was time to play the role she played best.

Justin strolled into the kitchen, and pulled open the fridge, in search of something to quench his thirst. His face fell when he found only water bottles and milk.

"Damn," he muttered closing the door as the garage door opened.

Emerald walked in, looking flushed yet depressed with her dark shades.

"Em there's nothing to drink in there," he said.

She glanced at him, and then turned to the fridge, openin the door and looking for herself.

"Go to the store," she said.

"Can you go to the store?"

She scoffed. No way was she buying his ass anything. Not anymore.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm busy."

"Doing what?" he stood across the kitchen.

"What's it to you?" she snapped.

"What?"

"Nothing," she let out a sigh and popped her gum.

Justin squinted at her, looking her over for the first time.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied before turning her back, "I'm going to take a bath."

Justin watched her walk away, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. Something was different, something had changed about her. Peering into the family room to find Neveah still asleep in her playpen, he headed up the stairs into his bedroom after his wife. When he walked in Emerald had already locked herself in the bathroom. He hesitated at the bathroom door for a moment before turning back towards the bedroom. As he passed one of the closet a ringing sounded. He stepped into the room and saw her cellphone sitting on a jewelry box.

"Probably forgot to put it in the charger again," he picked it up and looked down at the caller ID.

It was her mother. But rather than answer it, he decided to just let it go to voicemail. If she wanted to talk to him or Isaiah, she'd call the house. As he turned to leave the room, pressing 'end' to stop the ringing, something white caught his eye. It sat in an open drawer, under some other clothes. Curiosity got the best of him as he glanced towards the bathroom before stepping over to the drawer and pulling it open. He picked up the thick packet of papers and turned them over.

"Seperation?" he questioned, his brow furrowing as he read them over, "She wants to seperate?"

Justin's hurt quickly grew into anger as he stormed from the room, prepared to burst into the bathroom and ask her what the hell was going on. With his hand on the knob he told himself to stop. Running in there and jumping down her throat wasn't going to do anything but start a fight if he knew his Emerald. No, he needed calm down so he could talk, he needed to get himself in control, he needed to sit. Moving over to the bed he sat down slowly, looking at the crumpled papers in his hand.

How could she? How dare she?! She wanted to seperate from him? Why? What for? They had two children and how many years together? What made her think of this? Why didn't she just come to him and tell him? How long had she had these? Was she really planning on using them? There were too many questions running through his mind, he needed to get grip and sort them all out before she came out of the bathroom. His chance didn't come however, but not 10 seconds later did the door open and Emerald step out in a white cotton bathrobe.

He looked up at her sharply, his eyes blazing before he checked himself. She looked at him, and then turned to the closet to get something to sleep in. She felt his eyes following his figure as she entered the room and muttered to herself about what was up his butt. The moment she stepped through the doorway she felt his eyes boring into her again and she looked up.

"What?" she asked annoyed.

"What are these?" he asked as calmly as possible, holding up the papers for her too see.

The color drained from her face and she froze instantly. Justin snickered to himself, she wasn't so rude now.

"Your not answering me Emerald. What are these?" he said.

"Where did you get these?" she stepped forward and ripped them from his hands, "Are you going through my things now?"

"Apparently I have too. What are you doing with those Emerald? Do you wanna leave me?" he stood up to follow her and she walked to the other side of the room.

"I never said that did I?"

"Well then what the hell is going on around here?!" he shouted.

Emerald jumped at his change in tone and closed her eyes momentarily before looking at him.

"You and I haven't been happy for awhile Justin."

He gave a look as if she was nuts.

"What are you talkin about Emerald? Ofcourse we're happy, we just had a baby."

"No you just had a baby! Things haven't been the same since so I thought maybe we needed some time apart."

"Well were you going to give them to me?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know. Maybe one day if things got bad enough. I didn't think about what to do with them. I just asked for them."

"You don't just go around asking for divorce papers Emerald!"

"Would you get off my damn back?! Jesus Christ man, when did you suddenly start caring about what was going on with me anyway?"

"When did I stop?"

"You tell me."

"Hey, your the one that's never here."

Emerald's jaw dropped and she pointed a hand at herself.

"Me? I'm the one that's never here?"

"Yes. You. You're gone all the time, off doing whatever, with who ever. You barely take Isaiah anywhere with you, you've never taken Angel with you-."

"Oh God! You know this is starting to drive me crazy!"

"What is? What are you talkin about?"

"You! You and every God damn think you do!"

"What did I-."

"The way you treat me. Why do you treat me the way you do?! You barely speak to me, there are times I wonder if you even know I'm in the room. You haven't touched me in months," she paced back and forth pulling at her hair.

"Em, calm down," Justin said slowly.

"I will not calm down! I just-I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do anymore, I can't take this," she raised her hands tot he sides of her face as she started to cry.

Justin watched her, noting the way she was suddenly crumbling as if the weight of the world was pushing against her. She looked weak, alittle broken, maybe even slightly crazed because of her sudden moodswing.

"Can't take what?"

"The way things are!!" she stood up and turned her back.

He knew that already. What he wanted was for her to elaborate.

"Well what do you want?"

"For things to be the way they were. I want everything to go back. I want you to look up and stare when I walk in the room and I want you to kiss me and hold me. Acknowlege me! I just want you to love me like you used to."

"Em, I never stopped. I didn't change anything-."

"Everything changed after Neveah was born. I never thought the other woman in your life would be our daughter."

"Nothing changed. I think it's all in your mind-."

She groaned and stomped her foot.

"Even now I'm screaming for you to listen and you still don't hear me!"

"I hear you but you don't make sense."

She let out a frustrated growl.

"Fine."

"Emerald-."

"No, no nothing's wrong, everything's fine. Fine fine fine," she left the room and headed down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Justin followed.

"What does it matter?"

"Emerald talk to me. What is going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing Justin, everything great. Everything's just perfect," she picked up her purse from the kitchen counter and dug into it.

Typically, he was still behind her.

"Em-."

"It's nothing Justin so just drop it," she found the bottle she was looking for and reached into the cabinet for a glass.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she was holding the glass under the faucet with one hand and trying to open the bottle with the other.

"What are those?"

"Tylenol."

"Don't lie."

"They're. Nothing."

"Yeah, everything's nothing with you at the moment," he reached out and snatched them away.

"Hey!" she slammed the glass on the counter, "Give that back."

"What are these?"

She rolled her eyes, "They're just some pills-."

"These are anti-depressants. Why the hell are you on anti-depressants?"

"Ha! See! You don't even pay enough attention to me to know when I'm sick!"

He leaned his hip against the counter and looked at her. For the first time she looked sick to him. She was alittle slimmer, her eyes were dark, and not just because of the anger coursing through her veins.

"Give them back," she held her hand out.

"No."

"Don't be a dick, give them back."

"No."

She reached for them and he held them above her head.

"Fine! I have more," she stormed into the guest bathroom and came back with another bottle. Justin promptly sntached that from her fingers as well and Emerald smacked herself on the forehead for not being on the ball.

"What the hell-!"

"What is it with you and these pills? Do you have them spread all over the house? Are you hooked on them?"

She laughed.

"Stop being so melodramatic. I'm not hooked and it's not a big deal. God you know, one minute I don't exsist to you and the second you won't get off my back."

He ignore her and read the information on the bottle.

"These are from two different doctors. This one's on the second refill. Does your doctor know your going through these like water?"

"Which one?"

"I don't know! How many do you have?!"

She put a hand to her forehead and sighed.

"You know what," she looked up at him, fire and annoyance in her eyes, "Nevermind," she grabbed her keys.

"Emerald!"

"Nevermind," she was walking towards the door.

"Emerald, come back here."

"I said nevermind Justin. Forget I ever said a word. Just forget the whole fuckin' conversation."

"Emerald don't you walk out of this-," the door slammed shut, "house. Shit," he muttered obsenities to himself and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Dad?"

Justin looked up to see Isaiah standing at the top of the stairs. Angel was wailing in his arms, tears rolling down both their faces.

"Dad what's going on? What happened?" Isaiah questioned.

"Nothing little man," Justin slowly climbed the stairs.

"Where's Mom going?"

"She just went for a drive to calm down," he took Angel from the little boys arms and then took Isaiah's hand, "She'll be back in a little bit. Come on, back to bed."

Back to index

Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Emerald drove through the dark streets not sure of where she was going. She was in tears, a complete and total wreck. Everything that she had build just came tumbling down all around her. All of the hurt, the pain, it all flooded in the moment he knew. She'd never forget the way he looked at her once he knew. The guilty, the confusion, the pity. Fuck him. She didn't want or need his pity. He wasn't showing her pity when he was ignoring her.

She drove around for an hour, it finally donded on her that she had no where to go. Who could she run too? The idea made her cry even harder. She had no where to go. In all actuality, she wsa somewhat lost without Justin, she had been forawhile. Finally she remembered someone and drove as fast as possible through the dark streets. Pressing the code into JC's gate, she sped down the driveway, screeched to a halt in front of the house, leapt from the car, and ran up the steps to a JC who was watching her in confusion. The alarm had beeped when the gates opened, but he had no idea what she was doing there.

"Em?" he asked softly, "Em what's wrong? What's going on?"

He got an incoheirent sentence and more tears.

"Okay, it's okay. Come inside."

He led her back into the house and over to the sofa, where she settled against him and sobbed into his shoulder. He just sat rubbing her back soothingly and waiting for her to calm down. Once she did she sat forward and covered her face with her hands.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" he tucked her hair behind her ear and ran a finger down her cheek.

She looked over at him, and then covered her face again.

"Justin."

JC rolled his eyes and sat back. He'd been expecting this conversation for awhile.

"What'd he do?"

"He's a dick."

JC snorted.

"And?"

Emerald sighed, "We had a fight."

"Can I ask what about?"

She looked at him, hesitant and fearful.

"He found out somethings I didn't want him to know."

JC sat up, completely intrigued.

"What?"

"Jace I-," she stopped herself, "A couple of weeks ago I asked for some seperation papers."

"Seperation?!"

"I just wanted to have them. I wasn't going to give them to him, I think."

"You think?"

"I don't know. Everything is so messed up. I mean tell me you haven't noticed things being different lately."

He wanted to lie and say he hadn't, but he couldn't.

"Yeah, but that's no reason to-."

"I mean we haven't been happy inawhile. Your supposed to sepereate when your not happy with someone, when someone is being a bastard."

"I'm sure Justin didn't mean to be so... different with you. He's probably just got alot going on right now."

"And I don't?"

"Well... I-."

"Whatever, I'm out of here," Emerald stood and headed down the hall, "I thought you'd be able to help me but obviously-."

"Okay okay okay," JC came up behind her and grabbed her arm, "I'm sorry."

Emerald stood there staring at him for a moment before dropping her head onto his shoulder. JC's arms curled around her in a hug and she spoke into his neck.

"What am I supposed to do Jace? I don't even know where I belong anymore. You should have seen him, he was so mad. He was so mad and I was so mad. I hate him."

JC snorted again and shook his head.

"You don't hate him. You love him and you know it."

"I used to think so. I thought so for a long time. Now I'm not so sure."

JC looked down at her hurt and innocent face and instantly felt compassion, and a twinge of anger.

"Don't go making rash decisions doll."

Emerald looked at him oddly.

"What?"

"You just called me doll," she smirked.

"I got you to smile," he pocked the corners of her mouth.

She smirked again and grabbed him hands to pull them away from her face. Then her mind ran away as she looked up at him, and she didn't let go.

"Thanks," she said, "I needed that. You know your the only one who's ever nice to me anymore."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is. Everyone comes over to see Neveah, they don't care about me."

"Everyone loves you, you just have to open your eyes alittle wider to see it," he whispered.

Emerald was frozen in time. It seemed like it'd been forever since anyone looked at her the way he was looking at her now. Why he was she didn't know, but she did know two things: that she'd kill to have Justin look at her that way, and she was giving JC the same look back. Yes she was standing there in his arms staring at him, but something about it didn't seem wrong. Something about it felt good.

Her hands had a mind of their own as they slide over his shoulders to his neck. His eyes piered into hers with uncertainty. She'd never noticed his eyes before, really noticed them, or his skin, and his lips. He had nice lips, they looked pink and soft and utterly kissable.

"Maybe," she said finally.

Her fingertips pulled him closer as she stood alittle taller. Finally their lips touched, only for a second. She didn't want to pull him into anything he didn't want, but she prayed to God he did. When she pulled away she immediatly felt arms wrapped around her torso to pull her back, then lips attacking hers.

JC did it before he could help himself. His senses were overwhelmed, his brain on overload. For years he'd wanted this moment, and it was happening. She was there with him, holding him, kissing him. Finally he was getting the one thing he'd been asking for. But he knew it was wrong. It felt wrong. So he did the hardest thing he'd ever have to do in his life. He pulled away.

"No. No," he said.

"Why?" she instantly annoyed.

"Justin."

She rolled her eyes.

"Why does everything in my life revolve around Justin?"

"Because Justin is your life, and your his."

She glared at him, before her look faded into one of guilt and resentment. It broke his heart. She regretted kissing him, like he knew she would. Emerald slowly turned to walk to the door again, but was stopped once again.

"Oh no, it's to late for you to be out driving. Why don't you crash in the guestroom tonight?"

"I don't want-."

"I don't care."

His expression told her he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Alright," she moved to step past him, but stopped and wrapped her arms around him again.

"Thanks. Again."

JC nodded as she walked away, and waited till she was up the stairs before letting out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. He felt like crying and punching something at the same time. He never wanted to see that look on her face. He never wanted to see her hurt, angry, lonely... regrettful. He never should have let her kiss him, he never should have kissed her back. He smacked himself on the head, though he felt he deserved a much worse punishment.

JC picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number. It rang twice before someone picked up and he didn't even give them a chance to speak.

"Do you know where your wife is?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin sat on the edge of the bed where he could get a clear view out the window and down to the driveway. He'd been waiting there for Emerald to return, but the longer he waited, the more he thought wasn't going to.

"Any minute now," he told himself, "Any minute now."

The phone rang and he looked around frantically. Maybe it was her calling to say she was on her way back. Maybe it was the police calling to say they found her car in a ditch. Emerald became a bad driver when she was upset and she was enraged when she stormed out the door.

"Hel-?"

"Do you know where your wife is?"

Justin sat back down on the bed.

"I'm guessing at your house."

"Yes. What the hell is the matter with you J?"

"Whoa. Why are you jumping down my back?"

"Because Emerald just spent an hour crying on my shoulder."

"Man, you don't even know the half of it."

"Your being a dick to her and she ordered seperation papers," JC stated.

"That's half of it."

"What's the other half?"

"You don't need to get involved."

"I'd say I'm already involved. Wouldn't you?"

Justin groaned. He wanted to tell him just so have to someone to talk to about it. Sorting things out himself was getting him nowhere. But then, wasn't JC already too involved in his private life? And he didn't like the fact that she went running to JC instead of telling him what was going on with her.

"You can't tell the guys. Em will already try to bust my lip when she finds out I told you."

"Ofcourse."

"She's not in the room is she?"

"No, she's upstairs asleep."

Justins' eyes narrowed before he pushed the thoughts out of his mind.

"I--I think Em has a problem."

"Problem? What kind of problem?"

"Like a drug problem."

"Are you crazy? Emerald would never do-."

"Not illegal drug. Prescription drugs."

"I think you've lost it J."

"I saw her Jace. She had two bottles and I found a third one in her drawer."

Normally JC would have scolded him for going through her things, but this time he just sat down.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Well where did she get them?"

"They're all from different doctors."

"Why is she taking them?"

"I don't know."

"Does her doctor know?"

"I don't know."

"How long has she been taking them? Do they cause alot of damage?"

"I said I don't know."

"You don't know anything."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," now was not the time to get him riled up.

"No. What the hell does that mean?"

"Do you realize you don't know a whole lot about your wife these days?"

"I know plenty about her."

All he got was silence. It was in that instant he realized something was terribly wrong on his end. He didn't know that she was taking pills, he didn't notice that she was losing weight and he didn't know where she went all day. He'd dropped the ball.

"Shit," he sighed leaning back onto the bed.

"So what are you going to do?"

"First thing tomorrow I'm going to see Dr. Masters, find out how this whole thing started."

"What do you mean I can't go in?"

"I mean he has an appointment right now. You can't just walk in and expect us to be able to accomidate you."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yes."

Justin grunted and walked around her desk, towards the door with 'Dr. Masters' printed on it. He'd been there since 9 am that morning and he was tired of waiting. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. Justin stormed over to the room despite the protest of the small woman behind him and flung open the door.

"Dr. Masters I tried to stop him," she said immediately.

The doctor looked from her to him and back again.

"It's alright Evelyn," he waved her off.

The woman huffed before leaving and closing the door behind herself.

"Mr.Timberlake, to what do I owe this visit?"

Justin leaned over and placed one of the bottles on his desk.

"You can tell me when you gave her that for starts," he took a seat.

Dr. Masters picked up the bottle and leaned back in his chair.

"Emerald came to me about... oh... 3 months ago and told me she was feeling sluggish depressed. I diagnosed her as having a case of post pardom depression and prescribed her these."

"What about these?" he put another bottle on the desk.

"Well no I-."

"And these?" he put out a thrid bottle.

"No."

"Don't you see? You got my wife addicted to some crap pill for some post pardom whatever."

"Mr. Timberlake, I didn't get Emerald addicted to anything, nor is she addicted to anything. I didn't write these prescriptions, but I knew about them."

"What?"

"All of these doctors called me before giving her the prescription."

"What were you, waiting for her to overdose?"

"Mr. Timberlake, the first bottle was anti-depressents, the other two, imitations."

"Huh?"

"Look-a-likes. Wannabe's. Water pills. They're harmless, they look exactly liked these, except there's no medication in them whatsoever."

Justin sighed in relief and ran his hands over his head.

"But you knew she was out there doing this and you didn't say anything?"

"I knew one of you would come to your sense sooner or later."

"What if they hadn't of called you. She could have killed herself."

"Yes she could have," Dr. Masters sat forward, "So let's talk about why she was taking these pills."

"She was taking them because you said she depressed."

"And she was. But the question is, why? The thing that gets me is, she was depressed and she did need the anti-depressants. But once they were gone and she started getting the other pills, she still said she was feeling better. That means it wasn't so much physical as it was mental."

"Mental?"

"Emotional."

Justin inwardly rolled his eyes.

"She needs something, something from you."

"Me?" Justin sat up.

"Emerald and I also talked in depth about you, Isaiah, the new baby. How are things going with that?"

"Fine. What exactly did she tell you about us?"

"You know I can't tell you that. But you and I both know she isn't happy, and neither are you."

"I'm prefectly happy."

"No you aren't, otherwise you wouldn't have come barging into my office the way you did. So you've figured out what she's been doing, you know what's really wrong with her you just won't admit it," Justin started to protest but Dr. Master gave him a look and he closed his mouth, "Now you need to figure out what you can do to fix it."

JC sat at the counter in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee. He hadn't gotten much sleep that night, he'd been up thinking about all the things swirling around Emerald. Her new baby that she never saw, her husband who's left her in all ways but physically, and now she'd cheated on him with his bestfriend. That was eating away at him the most. He was guilty of betrayal and he couldn't have been more disappointed in himself. Now he had a decision: To tell Justin, or not to tell Justin?

Emerald came barreling down the stairs looking alot better than the night before, she even wore something similar to a grin on her face. A feature he hadn't seen on her in months.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he looked up at her and tried to hide it as best he could.

But he'd never been great at keeping things from her. She knew instantly, by the look on his face, the postition of his body, the pity lacing his eyes. He knew.

"He told you didn't he?"

JC nodded, "You wanna come have a cup of coffee with me?"

She inhaled and turned towards the hall.

"No thanks, maybe next time. Thanks for letting me stay but I think I'm going to go."

"No you don't," he moved infront of her and grabbed her shoulders, "You and I have alot to talk about," he spun her around and headed back towards the kitchen, a relunctant Emerald following.

Back to index

Chapter 8: Chapter Seven

Justin unlocked the Mercedes before climbing in and slamming the door behind himself. He sighed and ran his hands over his face. His head lolled to the side and he sat there starring at absolutely nothing at all. Mostly he didn't want to move because he felt like shit and when he felt like that he didn't want to do anything. He'd had a long talk with Dr. Masters and at the end of it he came back with one conclusion.

He was an asshole.

They'd talked at length about the thing Emerald had said, what she felt, what he felt, and he came to a realization: He didn't know her anymore. He didn't know his son anymore, didn't have the family he thought he had.

His cellphone rang and he jumped for it. He still hadn't talked to Emerald yet. He checked the caller ID and saw his own name so it had to be her. Who else could be calling from the house?

"Hello?"

"What up?"

Oh yeah, Joey was there watching the kids.

"Hey man."

I was just checkin to see when you were getting back. Kelly wants to take Bri over to see her mom."

As if on cue Brianna started talking in the backround. She was only 3 years old so her sentences weren't complete but it was cute all the same.

"Yeah, I'm leaving the hospital right now actually," he started the car.

"Really? Well, how'd it go?"

"Rough."

"Huh?"

"Things are bad for her, really bad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It really fuckin sucks because I'm seeing all this shit I never saw before and now I can't do anything about it."

"Sure you can. Give her a hug and say your sorry."

Joey'd been in Brooklyn since Neveah was born, until a few days ago. He hadn't been around, he didn't know the story.

"I can't just hug her Joey. I'm not even sure I'm allowed to touch her anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"The last time we made love was right after she got pregnant with Neaveah. That was like 18 months ago," Justin's grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"Eager to let the horse outta the barn huh?" Joey joked.

Justin groaned and Joey muttered an apology.

"Having sex with her isn't the point..."

"Although it's a damn good reason."

"... Being close to her is. I'm not close to my wife anymore."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm an asshole."

"I'm sure it's not as big as you make it out to be. After bri was born Kelly and I fought too, we're great now."

"You didn't so what I did Joe. Your not like me, and you don't wanna be. Don't be like me."

~*~*~*~

Emerald sighed and tapped her nails on the coffee mug infront of her as she waited for JC to sit down next to her.

"So," he sighed, "What do you want? The bad news or the bad news?"

"Nice range of topics you got there Jayce."

He shrugged.

"The bad news number one I guess."

"I talked to Justin. He told me about these pills you had."

Emerald made a tssk noise and scratched her head.

"You know, he's really over reacting about all of this. I didn't do anything, I went to the doctor, he gave me some pills, I took them, simple as that."

"There were 3 bottles, all different doctors."

Emerald looked away and JC turned his stool so he was facing her.

"Em talk to me. Your a smart woman, you know what stuff like that can do to you. Why did you put yourself at risk like that?"

Emerald sighed and rubbed her arm as she looked anywhere but at him.

"I just... at first I thought it was stupid. I didn't have any depression thing I didn't need any medication, I needed to move out of my house. But I took them anyway and at first it didn't make a difference, then all of a sudden it was like this... calm washed over me. Justin didn't matter, Neveah didn't matter. It was like I was somewhere else. I was home, I was in that house, I saw them, but I-I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel anything that they were doing to me. I couldn't feel anything at all and everything was bright and happy. And I needed that, I needed to have that and to hold onto that. So I got another bottle just incase I lost the other or ran out and wouldn't have to get another.

"But then that feeling started to fade alittle, and I couldn't take that. I couldn't bare to be back in that place again, so I started taking two. Then I thought, "Hell, if it feels this good with two, what would three be like?" But it really isn't that big of a deal, I didn't do anything wrong except try to medicate myself."

JC put a finger under her chin and forced her to look him in the eye.

"Em, I need to you be really honest with me right now. Do you need help with this?"

"I'm not a damn druggie JC," she pulled away from his hand, "I'm fine. I can leave them whenever I want to."

"Promise me you'll leave them alone."

"Jayce-."

"Promise me. No more."

Her shoulders slumped alittle.

"I promise."

"Good. I don't wanna have to toss your butt in rehab, and you know I would."

"You can't do that. You have to be a member of my immediate family. That means only my mother, Justin, or one of my children. My mother doesn't know--and if you tell her I'll kill you with my bare hands and make it look like an accident-- my children aren't old enough to do anything and Justin-."

"Will throw you in rehab himself."

"Shut up," she gave him a look, "So, what's bad news number 2?"

JC took a sip from his mug and looked at her.

"Last night."

Emerald slouched in her stool and spun away from him. He reached out and spun her right back.

"We have to tell him about that Emerald."

Her eyes became as large as saucers.

"What? No. No we don't," she stood in front of him.

"Yes we do. We did something really, seriously wrong and he has a right to know."

"What Justin doesn't know won't hurt him. We didn't do anything that serious, we stopped before anything could happen. It was a kiss, a simple kiss. Friends kiss."

"Not like that Em."

"Jayce, I'm begging you."

"I can't carry this around with me Emerald. Justin is one of my bestfriends. My bestfriend and I betrayed him I will never be able to forgive myself for that."

"Forgive yourself Jayce, it was a mistake, it happens. If anything it was all my fault, you did nothing wrong. But we can not tell him."

"Em-."

"Don't you think we have enough problesm without adding the fact that I cheated on him to it? JC please..."

Her eyes were begging him, there was no way he could refuse. She also had a point, would any good come out of Justin knowing?

"Alright. I guess your right, we shouldn't tell him."

Thank you!" she threw her arms around his shoulders, "Thank you thank you thank you."

~*~*~*~

After arriving home and thanking Joey for watching the kids, then sending he and Bri on their way, Justin pulled a chair from the dining room to the end of the foyer so he was near the door, but could still see Isaiah and Neveah in the family room. He smirked as he observed them. They played together as much as a 7 year old and a 6 month old could. Isaiah was explaining somethign about toy trucks and Neveah seemed to be enjoying it as she got up on her hands and knees and bounced around. Neveah was alot like her mother, Emerald had crawled at 6 months old and now their babygirl was trying it at that age.

Isaiah was more like him, strong, but still in need of some support. And stubborn as the day was long. Isaiah was his son and he left in the same way he left Emerald, that fact cut him to the core. All the years he spent fighting for him, only to turn around and voluntarily leave him. He was so busy trying to be Neveah's father. He'd missed Isaiah's first word, first step, first day of school, everything. But he wanted to be there for Neveah. He wanted every moment, to be in every picture. He wanted her to look back on her childhood and vividly remember her Daddy being there. Somewhere in the mist of that he got caught up. He had the best of intentions a heart, but it's usually those that do the most damage.

The door opened behind him and he turned to look. the sun shinning in blinding him, but he saw the outline of a woman stepping into the house. His assumption was confirmed when Isaiah went running towards her yelling 'mom'.

"Hi baby," he could hear the smile in her voice as she leaned down to hugged him.

The door closed and he got a good look at her, messy hair and shades. She was smiling till she caught sight of him as he stood, then her grin faded into a blank stare. He hated that his presence took all happiness out of her. He remembered when his son used to run to him.

Justin tuned out Emerald's singing and headed down the stairs. He had just removed a carton of eggs from the fridge and set them on the counter when he heard the heavy pounding of two little feet come down the stairs and around the corner. "Dad!" Isaiah launched himself at his father. Luckily Justin knew his son well enough to know his plan and turned around in time to catch the boy in midair. He adjusted the 7 year old in his arms and kissed his cheek. "Morning I." "Dad!" he sounded again, "I'm going with Uncle Chris to the movies."

Isaiah looked between them before running back to the family room with his sister. Justin took a few steps toward her, and she the same. But neither said a word, they just kept staring waiting for the other to speak.

"Well," she said finally, "I'm going to take a shower."

She turned away from him and slowly headed up the stairs. Justin looked at the space where she once stood, debating on whether or not to talk to her. What should he say? He knew one thing for sure, he needed to apologise. He needed to atleast try to make ammends. Before, when she'd been standing there, all he wanted to do was reach out to her. To put his arms around her and hug her and hold her. He hadn't done that in a long time. She looked like she needed a hug, and so did he.

Justin looked in on the kids, told Isaiah to hang out down there and keep an eye on his sister before he climbed the stairs after his wife. When he got there she was nowhere to be found, but the shower was running and a small amount of steam was beginning to drift from the cracked bathroom door. Suddenly it swings open and she steps out, wearing nothing but a towel. Her eyes glance at his face before looking down at her feet. She stands there a moment, pulling the towel tighter around her frame before stepping around him into the closet.

Justin sighed and smacked himself on the forhead.

"Say something you goof," he muttered.

Emerald reappears from the closet with her robe in hand and steps around him again to go back into the bathroom. Justin grabs her arm on the way by and she freezes infront of him, her eyes questioning him. He stared at her a moment, trying to find the right thing to say. When no words came to him he did the only thing he could thing of, the thing he really wanted to do. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Her body stuggled against him but he only held her tighter and buryed his face in her hair. She stopped, her arms wrapping around him. She missed this, moments like these. She missed him touching her, her holding her, his cologne, the feeling of his breath on her skin. Part of her hated him and wanted to shove him away, curse him out, and then throw him out of the house. But every single part of her that was still in love with him was telling him to pull him closer, to hold him closer.

"I haven't held you in a long time," he whispered.

And then she started crying. Emerald didn't even know why, she just did it. Something deep inside needed to be released right then and there. Justin kissed her temple, then her cheek as he held onto her. His lips grazed her other cheek, then her nose as his hands rubbed her back softly. He got his first good look at her then, her smugged eyeliner, her tired red eyes, the lust for him that she was trying to fight off.

He kissed her lips softly, running his hand through her hair. When his lips pushing against hers with a hunger and a need she hadn't felt in a long time, she allowed the tiniest noise to excape her lips. She pulled him close, closer than close, so close that if they had been standing flesh to bare flesh their perspiration would have caused them to mold together. But she still felt like they were miles apart.

She pulled on his arms, scratching him gently, wanting him in a way she'd never felt before. He turned her on in a way that made her entire body tingle concupiscently, that made her forget all worry and problems and the consequences that came with loving him.

Her hands slid down his sides, over his ribcage. He flinched ever so slightly at the ticklish sensation. Her hands found the waist band of his jeans and she slid her hands into his back pockets for a moment before sliding her hands around and undoing the button on his pants. That's when he stopped her. Her hands were pulled away, his mouth left hers, and all amazing sensation she felt began to fade. Her towel was pulled away, and her hands held behind her back as he used his body to force her down on the bed. She laid before him in the vulnerable way she could think of, stripped in every sense of the word, and he stood at the end of the bed looking down at her. Damn he was sexy. The meer statement itself was an understatement when it came to him. He was just... God he was sexy.

Finally he knelt between her legs, running a hand down the middle of her body from her neck to the place she felt growing with frustration with every passing moment. She reached out for him. He took her hand, kissed her palm and set it down on the bed.

"Come here," she said.

He shook his head.

"No, no. You just lay there, looking sexy, and enjoy all the things I'm gonna do to you."

She smiled softly as he manuvered his body around hers, lifting her hips and moving her until she was exactly where he wanted her. Instantly she was overcome with the most amazing feeling. It was soft and fluttery at first but then grew stronger, forcing screams of passion to be emitted from her mouth. Soon her mind was such a cloud she could do little more than loose her fingers in his hair and hold onto him.

Just as she was about to reach the epitomy of erotic places, a rumble of nerves sounding deep in her tummy; once again all sensation stopped and she was left panting and unsatisfied. His face appeared, hovering above her. She realized then that he was just as vulnerable as she was. Every inch of his skin was pressing against her, melting into her. She felt his lips on hers, kissing her tenderly as they melded into one. Finally they were close, closer than close.

All she could do was wither underneithe him as he moved all around her. She was lost in a sea of soft blankets, feather pillows, and her husband. The nerve endings in her body were on fire. She didn't know how she was breathing, her brain was lost in a thick haze.

"I love you," he said, his body never missing a beat.

She heard him, but she was too far gone to respond.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing her neck, "I'm sorry baby."

The words only added to her torture. She wrapped her arms around his neck, she could feel the rumbling in her stomach again.

She hadn't even realized the noise level in her moaning has increaed until he shushed her gently. She nodded breathlessly, digging her nails into his back. Maybe she could find another way to express herself.

She was wrong. Moments later his lips were attacking hers to shush her again. When he pulled away his eyes were dark, deep with need. She was sure hers looked the same. Suddenly it all became too much, the passion, the emotion, the movement, the pleasure, it all overwhelmed her and she bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out. It was over too soon, the rush, the unintentional quivering, it was fading away as quickly as it had come. She was left as nothing. Nothing but a shivering pile of orgasmic energy.

And then she felt him again, his forehead leaning against her, his nose brushing across her cheek, his mouth as his tongue lightly traced her bottom lip.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Emerald breathed deep, for the first filling her lungs with air. She ran a hand down the side of Justin's body and back up again. She groaned a responce that he precieved to be a 'yes' and then sighed contently.

"Open your eyes."

Emerald did as told. His eyes were roaming her body from the torso up. Finally his orbs met hers.

"I meant it when I said I was sorry."

She nodded, though she wasn't so sure she believed him.

He searched her face a little longer trying to decide how to word his question.

"What do you want Em? What do you need from me?"

She looked down, her eyelids nearly closing.

"I don't know Justin. I just don't know."

"So what don't you get?" JC switched on his turn signal and looked in the rearveiw mirror.

"I don't understand how she could not know what she wants. I mean she's been mad at me for like 6 months, you'd think she'd know what she need to forgive me."

"Man, I think she's just confused. Alots going on, alots happened to her."

"Alot's happened to me too, my wife was hooked on pills, she could've divorced me-."

"You brought it on yourself."

"What?"

"Look man," JC glanced over at him, "Can I be straight with you?"

"Yeah."

"You brought it on yourself."

"You're always taking her side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side. I'm calling them like I see them. I saw that you always had a lady by yourself. I saw that after she had Neveah you no longer had a woman by yourside but a little girl. I saw that you weren't treating her, or Isaiah, the way you used to, and I saw that she was hurting and you didn't notice," he pulled into the WEG parking lot.

Justin sighed.

"I'll be glad when someone tells me I did atleast one thing right. So what do I do?"

"You gotta make sure she knows you love her. Actions speak louder than words. You gotta make her feel like she's most important. Talk to her more often and stop hanging around that kid of yours," Jc got out of the car.

"You can't spend to much time with a baby. You can't spoil one," Justi got out as well and met JC at the back of the car.

"True, you can't spoil a baby. But you can forget a son and you can ignore a woman. You worked hard to get your family Justin. Don't let it all fall apart now."

~*~*~*~*~

Emerald tucked her feet under her body as she watched the cars from the window. This had been her spot since they lived there. Whenever anything was plaguing her mind, she sat there and watched as others went on with their lives until she came to a conclusion about hers.

Justin wanted to know what she needed, but in all honesty she didn't know. It was never clear to her. What does one person need to not feel betrayed and abandonded? Maybe several apologies, alittle groveling? But that would have been so easy to say before, now things weren't so simple, not that they ever were. Before she wasn't at fault, before she did nothing wrong. But now she held a secret that would destroy any hope for them, a secret that would kill him. She wasn't the vitim anymore, she wasn't that innocent.

Back to index

Chapter 9: Chapter Eight

"Oh, hold on Mama, someone's on the otherline."

"Alright."

"Kay," Emerald clicked to the other line, "Hello?"

"Hey baby."

Her forehead crinkled.

"Justin?"

"Yeah. Who else?"

"Uh... I-I'm just surprised to hear your voice that's all. You know, Neveah's not here, she's with your Mom."

"I know. But I didn't call for her, I called to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. How's your day?"

"Um, fine. I haven't done much of anything yet. I'm considering it my day off since no one's home."

"Good. You deserve a day to yourself."

Emerald smiled alittle.

"Justin are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Why?"

"I dunno. Your just acting alittle... different."

"I am different Em. I'm gonna be different for you."

She nodded, though he couldn't see her.

"I--I'm gonna try to be different for you too Justin."

"Okay," he sighed,"Well I gotta go."

"Alright."

"I'll call you in a couple hours, before I leave here."

"Okay."

"Okay. Hey, I love you baby."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye," she bit her lip as she listened to him hang up, before she clicked back, "Ma?"

"Still here."

"Sorry about that. It was Justin."

"Ahh. Things back on track for you two?"

"I guess. Things have been better for us."

"He apologise?"

"Yeah..."

"But?"

"But things are still just little weird between us. Alot of things happened ya know?"

"Yeah, but you have to forgive Emmy. Love is forgiving, it does not dwell on the mistakes of others."

"I know Mama, it's just alittle difficult at time is all."

"I know. But I'm sure you and Justin will work things out some how. You always have," she chuckled.

"Yeah. Well I better go, Lynn's going to be bringing the kids back in a few hours and I desperately wanted to get some cleaning done."

"That bad huh?"

Emerald looked around the living room and nodded, "Yeah, that bad."

"Alright. I'll talk to you later. Tell the kids grandma says 'hi'."

"I will Mom. Love you."

"Love you too dear. Bye."

"Bye."

Emerald clicked the 'off' button on the phone and looked down at it for a moment. Talkin to her mother was getting more and more difficult by the day. The woman wanted them to have the perfect marriage so bad, but she had no idea the problems surrounding her daughter and her family. She knew nothing about the pills, nothing about the fight, nothing about the kiss.

Emerald let out a sigh, allowing her eyes to leave her lap and float upwards towards the ceiling. Thank GOD her mother knew nothing about the kiss. That would have to be one of the most humiliating things she'd ever done in her life. 'Hey Ma, I know your proud of me for sticking with Justin and having kids and doing so well, but I screw it all up and got addicted to pills. Sorry.' She could just image her mothers face already. The shock, the horror, the shame. The last time her mother had given her a look anywhere close to what she was imaging was when she had told her about her rape. Her rape. Her shoulders slumped and her breathing slowed as those moments came flooding back into her mind.

Emerald walked out into the main part of the club and through the doors. She pulled her coat tighter around herself when the freezing midnight air hit her body.

Her body shuddered.

She pulled open the door, but before she could step into the car someone grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. She tried to scream but a black-gloved hand was covering her mouth.

"Don't move...," a husky voice whispered in her ear.

Her chin quivered and she wrapped her arms around herself.

He grabbed her again and held his hand over her mouth once more and he drug her towards the alley behind the building. He threw her down onto the ground, Emerald immediatly began kicking and screaming as she tried to get up.

A lone tear made it's way down her cheek.

He pulled at her pants, the elastic band had been tied but it only took seconds for him to rip them off of her... Her clothes were roughly pulled from her body, she cried the whole time... She blocked out his groans and turned away when he tried to kiss her. She had never felt so horrible in her life. She wasn't even a person anymore, she was a piece of meat, some play thing he wanted. Only now he had her.

She sniffed and cleared her throat, wipping her face free of all the tears. It was moments like these that she missed her husband the most. Moments when she felt weak, fearful, and powerless. Moments when she needed to be held by the person that was there for her, the person that understood. The person that knew how to tell her everything was going to be okay, without saying a word. But he wasn't there. He hadn't been inawhile and she wasn't sure that he knew her well enough to be that person again, or if she knew him well enough to let him be.

The phone rang in her hand and she jumped. She'd forgotten she was even holding it.

"Hello?"

"What's up?"

"Hi Jayce," she wipped her face again and tried to speak as professionally as possible.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking about cleaning. You?"

"Thinking about going out."

She snorted, "Yeah that's almost the same thing."

"So," he began slyly, "How are things?"

"Good. We talked."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we more than talked."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes. She wanted to talk to him about this, but somehow tellin him the details of their sex life was alittle weird. Actually, talking to him about their personal life all together was feeling alittle weird now.

"We, ya know," she hinted.

His end was quiet and she could tell he was trying to figure it out.

"JC, oh my God come on, think about it."

"I don't get it."

"We did the thing, the deed, ya know?"

"The thing... oh. Oh! You did that?"

"Yeah."

"So that means things are okay now?"

"I dunno. They're better now, he just called me alittle while ago and he hasn't done that in forever. But I just felt like he was using out physical relationship to get to me. Like sleeping with me was going to make everything okay. It kind of cheapened it in a way."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. He probably just wanted to make sure you knew that he still wanted you. That he wanted to make things work."

"Yeah, well whatever, I dunno. But I do know I need to get my butt up and start doing some work around here before the Health Board comes sniffing around."

JC laughed.

"Alright. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

She hung up and put the phone on the table. She smiled to herself, thinking about her friend. How odd that he always seemed to call right when she needed someone too.

"Oh well," she sighed, "Now. Clean Emerald, clean."

"Dude, what are you doing? That is not the exit to get home," Chris pointed.

"I know that, we need to make alittle stop first. Chill."

"Where are we going?" his voice was weary.

"I need to stop by the mall."

"Justin this is no time to feed your shoe fetish. I'm tired," Chris shifted in his seat.

"I'm not. I need to stop by 'Bath and Body Works'."

Chris' head whipped around.

"Why the hell are you going to 'Bath and Body Works'?"

"I need to get something for Em. She loves things that smell nice."

"You know, I've noticed that everytime I see her she smells different. And I've seen her a hell of alot of time."

"Yeah, you should see her side of the bathroom."

"I've seen her side of the bacthroom. It's crazy. But it pales in comparison to your closet," Mike sounded from the backseat.

"Hey, A) leave my shoes outta this. Em and I are two different cases. I have a slight addiction. She, she is obsessed. B) When were you in my bathroom?" Justin glared at him through the rearview mirror.

"The candles," Mike changed the subject and looked at Chris.

"I'll valch for the candles," Chris nodded.

"What's with the candles? They're everywhere. She put some in the studio. In the studio."

Chris groaned and shook his head as Justin continued.

"I'm like, 'Baby, you've got them everywhere....'"

"Everywhere," the two other men said in unison.

"...'Everywhere else, why did you have to put them in my studio? My studio. I don't like them. I don't want them. Get them out.'"

"Did you really tell her that?" Mike asked.

Justin hesitated with a smirk.

"I told her they were great."

Chris and Mike didn't even bother trying to contain their laughter.

"She has got you wrapped around her pink finger so bad," Chris chuckled.

"But I don't mind. If it makes my woman then I'm all for it. You don't know Emerald when she gets angry."

"Hello! I was your friend all three times she left you."

"Yeah, that's the point. When she left me, I couldn't see how upset she gets, now that we're married she can't leae. So she has no choice but to let it out, on me."

"That's the reason you married her huh? So she'd quite leaving you."

Justin laughed.

"Yeah. No. I love her, and I wanted the world to know it."

Chris patted him on the back.

"She's rubbing off on you man. You're turning sap on us."

"Turning?" Justin eyed him, "When it comes to my wife I've always been a sap. Personally, I think it makes me more masculine."

They laughed at that.

"What?" he asked innocently, "It does."

~*~*~*~

When Justin arrived home that evening, he was surprised to find his wife standing near the door when it opened.

"Hi," he glanced at her as he dropped his jacket in the closet.

"Hey, I was just making sure it was you, not one of your crazy friends looking for you."

"Nope, only crazy me."

She smiled slightly and turned to walk away.

"Oh hey," he stopped her, "I got you this."

Emerald slowly took the red and gold bag from his hand and looked at him hesitantly.

"You got me something?"

"Yeah. Open it."

"What is it?"

"Open it," he insisted.

She set the bag down on the entry table and dug into it. When she pulled her hands back out she found Sweet Pea lotion and body spray, honeydew soap, strawberry shampoo, and a red teddybear.

"You got all this stuff for me?" she questioned.

"Yeah, I hadn't noticed any new freaky scents coming from the bathroom lately."

She smirked. He was putting effort into their relationship and she had good feelings about that.

"You like my freaky scents and you know it."

He shrugged, but revealed nothing.

"So I was thinking today and uh, you and I haven't been alone together for awhile. I thought it'd be a good idea to take a little trip up the coast for the weekend. Spend some time alone. Have alittle time to talk."

"Just you and me?"

"Just you and me."

"I think that's a good idea. I think we need that right now."

He smiled that Timberlake grin that made her heart skip a beat.

"Good. Me too."

She smiled back. But a tug on her pantleg cause her brow to furrow and her attention to be diverted to the floor. There, sitting next to her, smiling a toothless grin, was Neveah. The baby cooed, her eyes shining brightly as she reached up towards her mother. Emerald looked up at her husband, her eyes full of confusion. Why was the child reaching for her? She hadn't been around her in so long she was positive that Neveah didn't even know who she was anymore. Now she'd managed to crawl her way from the familyroom to the foyer, and was trying to stand up using the material on her leg as a ladder.

Justin watched as his wife looked from him to the baby, and then back again not entirely sure of what to do. He took matters into his own hands, reaching down to lift up his daughter, he kissed her forehead before handing her to Emerald. She shook her head, not wanting to take the child, but he put the baby in her arms anyway. She was frozen at first. It was like she had forgotten how to be a mother, like this little person was a foreign consept. But when Neveah giggled and took her mothers face in her hands, Emerald smiled too and slowly began to feel at ease.

"Hi little one," she said smoothing her hand over the baby's hair.

Justin watched the interaction as mother and daughter took the first and most important step in bridging the gap between them. He smiled proudly, only sorry that he'd deprived them both of eachother for so long.

"So you have my cell number right?"

"Yes."

"Justin's cell?"

"Yep."

"The hotel number?"

"Emerald. Get out," Lance chuckled.

"Hey, don't take that tone with me mister."

"Babe, come on, we need to go if we wanna get there before sunset," Justin touched her arm.

She glanced at him before sighing and looking to her son.

"Come give Mama a hug."

He walked over, wrapping his arms around her waist. Emerald kissed his head, and he told her he loved her before letting go and heading towards the familyroom. Justin handed Neveah to Emerald before walking after him.

"Hey, I," he called.

Isaiah stopped and turned to look at his father. It was obvious Justin wasn't his favorite person at the moment. Justin got down on his knee, to his son's level.

"Hey buddy."

Isaiah didn't say anything.

"Listen, I know things haven't been the best between you and me and me and your Mom. And that's my fault. It has nothing to do with you, or your sister, or your Mom. It was me. But I haven't been the best Dad to you and I'm sorry. But I promise, starting right now, things are going to be different. I'm going to try very hard to make it up to you. Okay?"

"Kay," Isaiah nodded.

"Can I have a hug?"

The 7 year old put his arms around his fathers broad shoulders. Justin's eyes slide closed as he realized he hadn't held his child in a long time. He planted a kiss on his son's head.

"I love you bud."

"Love you too Dad."

He squeezed him alittle tighter before pulling away.

"Okay, now you'll be good for Uncle Lance?"

Isaiah nodded enthusiastically. He knew that as soon as his parents left he would be off to Uncle Chris's house where he could stay up late, eat candy for breakfast, and play paintball all he wanted.

"And you'll keep an eye on your sister?"

"Yep."

"Okay," Justin ruffled his hair and the boy groaned.

"See you later."

"Bye Dad."

Justin returned to find Neveah on Lance's hip and Emerald tapping her foot impatiently.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yep."

She smiled at her baby before opening the front door and heading for the car, Justin in tow.

"Have fun," Lance waved with a grin.

~*~*~*~

Around 8pm that night the couple sat in a hotelroom of the El Captain, a shoreside hotel. It was bright and pretty, lots of flowers and rose pattern. Romantic. Her guess was that was why it was chosen, Justin wanted it that way. What was happening however, was far from romantic. They were seated on the sofa in the mainroom, one of them on each end of the couch, the television playing something stupid, but was serving the purpose of keeping the two of them from having to do the one thing they dreaded. Talk. The tension and uneasiness could be cut with a knife as she shifted uncomfortably. Then he did too. And that was it.

Emerald sighed and picked up the remote, turning off the TV before turning to her husband of 2 years.

"Can we talk?"

"Right now? We just got here."

"Well, I thought it'd be better to get it over with now. I mean, I know we're both thinking about it. But if you wanna wait that's fine too."

"No. Let's, let's talk."

"Alright," Emerald settled back against the couch.

And then there was silence. They'd agreed to talk, now what would they say?

"So are you gonna hate me forever?" Justin broke the silence.

Emerald shrugged and shook her head at the same time. She had to be honest, part of her did hate him. She was damaged. But all of her still loved him, he was her everything. That was why it hurt so bad. She'd been rejected by the one person most important to her.

"Em, I know I was wrong, and I've apologised and I'll apologise again. I am so, so sorry. But I need to know what you need me to do."

"Why? Why did you treat me that way?"

"I've felt so guilty about my relationship with Isaiah. I missed his first step, first word, everything. I didn't want those regrets with Neveah. I want her to remember her father being in her life, I want to be in every picture. But I took it to far, I was so caught up in that."

"Justin," she sighed, "you have to let go of that."

"I can't let go of that Em," he interupted, " I missed everything. I'm his father and I wasn't around. I'll be damned if I was going to do the same thing to my daughter."

"Justin he knew you loved him. He knew that every moment of every day, and there's no way Neveah could have grown up without knowing that too. You weren't there in the beginning but your here now and that counts for something too. You have to forgive yourself, you have to forgive me for that."

Why was she comforting him? Wasn't he supposed to be trying to make her feel better?

"That wasn't your fault. I was the one being stupid."

"I didn't exactly help. I mean, taking prescription drugs wasn't the best thing to do."

Justin looked at her, his eyes sympathetic. She didn't know she wasn't hooked on anything. She didn't know about the conversation he'd had with her doctor. Should he tell her? She had a right to know what was going on with her body and her mind. But he didn't want to embarass her further. Maybe it was a lesson she needed to learn.

"You keep asking me what I need Justin. But the truth is, I don't know. I've never been in this before, I don't know what to feel, what to think, what to want. But, I think right now I need you to want me. I need you to want to be with me."

Justin reached out to take her hand and spoke carefully.

"Ofcourse I wanna be with you. Those papers scared me to death. I don't know what I would do if I lost you again."

"I don't wanna lose you," her thumb rubbed the back of his hand.

"Your not going to. I'm stuck like glue."

Her body leaned forward, pressing against her husband as she hugged him tightly. He sighed into her hair, squeezing her so tight it almost hurt. But she loved it, and she smiled to herself. Her heart wasn't mended, but it was positive that it would be eventually.

The weekend continued on, all tension and uneasiness completely disappearing. Time alone was exactly what they needed. Time to figure out who they were, who the other was, what they were together. What they needed from their relationship. Time to strip down from the labels that were plastered onto them everyday. Time to not be Emerald and Justin Timberlake. Time to not be Mom and Dad. Time to not be anything but husband and wife. They spent the day splashing in the ocean, the night at a small resturant, followed by a hot session on bed late that night, ending with watching the sunrise from their balcony. But the time it was time to head home on Sunday afternoon, they felt like a different couple. So good and completely different that they almost didn't wanna leave. But they needed to see if they could make it at home. If they would still be okay once they left the fairytale land and returned to the real world.

You're here, I'm pleased I really dig your company. Your style, your smile, your peace mentality. Lord, have mercy on me I was blind, now I can see. What a king's supposed to be. Baby I feel free, come on and go with me.

Justin slowly turned in a circle as he danced. Emerald looked up from the suitcase she was packing and giggled at him.

"I love this song. Come on dance with me babeh," he grabbed her hand and pulled her close.

Let's take a long walk around the park after dark. Find a spot for us to spark conversation, verbal elation, stimulation. Share our situations, temptations, education, relaxations. Elevations, maybe we can talk about Surah 31:18.

"Justin, we're dancing in a hotel room."

"So?"

"So don't you think it's alittle chessy? I mean I feel like I'm in a Julia Roberts movie."

"Em," he kissed her forehead, "Shut up."

Your background it ain't squeaky clean shit. Sometimes we all got to swim upstream. You ain't no saint, we all are sinners. But you put your good foot down and make your soul a winner. I respect that, man you're so phat. And you're all that, plus supreme. Then you're humble man I'm numb. Yo with feeling, I can feel everything that you bring.

Soon the song ended and before they could pull apart Avril Lavigne's voice filtered through the speakers. Emerald pulled her arms from around him and stepped back over to the bed.

"Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way your acting like your somebody is gettin me frustrated," Justin sang loudly before playing air guitar.

Emerald shook her head while folding one of his shirts.

"I'll never understand. I think if you could you'd marry her instead of me."

Justin shrugged.

"Well..."

She looked up sharply at his hesitation. He gave her a charming smile and she inturn picked up a pillow, hitting him on the head.

"What?" he looked flabbergasted, "Avril's hot, what can I say?"

"Yeah I got your Avril right here," she hit him again.

"Hey, watch the hair."

Smack.

"Emerald if you hit me again-."

Smack.

"I'm serious-."

Smack again.

He didn't say another word, simply lunged at her, knocking her to the bed. she let out a shriek and immediatly began to wiggle as his fingers tickled her sides.

"Justin-stop-ah-this is not fair. Your in trouble now me," she put her knee to his chest to ty to push him off but all that did was give him ammunition. He grabbed her ankle and began to tickle the bottom of her foot as well.

"Are you gonna stop hitting me?"

She replied with a laugh.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes Justin?"

"And...?"

"Yes Justin the almighty king, most awesomest beatboxer in the world and man I love for all eternity."

He leaned down and kissed her knee.

"I love you too."

The moment he climbed off of her and turned around, a pillow hit him on the back. He turned again to see an innocent smile on his wife's face.

"What?"

He let out an animalistic growl and pounced on her. She groaned when his weight landed on her torso. He laid there a moment before shifting so he wasn't crushing her any longer.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No," she hooked her hands in the waistband of his jeans.

He raised his hand to her cheek, "I love you so much."

"I love you too Justin."

"We're gonna be okay right?"

She nodded, "We will be."

He gave her a gentle kiss, and then another, and then a third before a longer kiss laced with passion and love. He pulled away slowly, regretfully, and ran a hand down her face.

"You should attack me with pillows more often."

"I will."

"Good."

He lowered his head, meeting her lips again. The kiss grew rapidly, in an instant his hands were snaked under her shirt and resting against the skin on her back.

"If you keep doing that, we're not going to get home on time. And you'll have to explain it to Lance why we didn't releave him of the brats on time."

"Okay," he agreed.

Emerald giggled.

"And you'll have to explain to Isaiah why we were late. And you know he can tell when your lying, so he'll hound you and hound you till he finds out the truth."

Justin paused, one of his eyebrows arching. Put his hormones in check and get up, or explain the birds and the bees to his 7 year old.

"Alright," Justin sat up, "come on, we have 20 minutes till check out."

Back to index

Chapter 10: Epilogue

Life wasn't perfect, but it never had been, so the couple didn't expect that. Life in reality hadn't been as easy as they'd hoped, so on JC's advice they decided to give couples theripy a try. From day one their theripist, Ellen, told them that they're issue was more simplistic than they thought. They didn't need extensive theripy, because they were in love, they wanted to stay together. What they really needed to do, was forgive eachother, and let the past, taking what they learned with them.

"Your each going to tell the other what you feel they did, how you feel. And the other people, if they feel it's valid, is going to apologise. If you don't agree, say so and why. Emerald, why don't you go first. Tell Justin how you fell. What hurt you," Ellen swivled her chair to look at the young woman.

Emerald bit her lip and played with her thumbs.

"Alright," she said, "It hurt me that you used to tell me how much you loved me, but then you weren't there. I felt like I wasn't important to you anymore, like you didn't need me around. And as a woman and your wife and our children's mother that hurt me alot."

Justin nodded.

"I'm sorry. That won't happen again, I promise."

"Justin, what about you?"

He took a deep breath. He never really told her how he felt about it all. He wanted to keep everything about her, make sure that she was alright.

"It upset me when you didn't come to me. I'm your husband, I'm your partner in life you should know that you can tell me anything. When you were hurting but you didn't tell me, it made me feel like you didn't trust me. You didn't tell me how you felt, you didn't tell me about the pills, and you didn't tell me about the papers. All of that did damage, all of that hurt."

"I'm really sorry Justin," she whispered.

"So Emerald," Ellen spoke, "Do your forgive Justin?"

"Yes."

"Justin do you forgive Emerald?"

"Yeah."

The woman leaned back in her chair with a smile.

"Okay then."

~*~*~*~

The couple walked hand in hand through the lobby towards the doors. The tension is gone, now replaced with uncertainty. They knew that they had forgiven the other, but how did they know that the other had forgiven then? They could have just been saying it.

"Did you mean it?" Emerald spoke, looking down at her boots.

"Mean what?"

"That your forgive me? Cause it's okay if you didn't."

She continued walked, but when she moved to take a second step, she felt a tug on her hand and realized he had stopped.

"Did I say I forgive you?" he asked.

She nodded. He pulled on her hand till she came closer, then he puts his arms around her, holding her close.

"Hey, guess what," he whispered.

"What?"

"It's our anniversay, it's our anniversary. Made for you and me," he sang.

Emerald smiled against his chest at the mention.

"Tell your supervisor you're leaving early today, and I'm willing to pay for the rest of your day girl. Do you know what today is? I know girl. It's our anniversary, made for you and me."

Emerald lifted her head and looked at him.

"What do you wanna do?"

"I think that we should go to the store and get some chocolate ice cream, some strawberries, whipped cream, caramel sauce and sprinkles. Then go to the mall and get you a bikini-."

"I was thinking more along the lines of something with the kids," she interupted.

"Or something with the kids. The kids are almost as much fun."

She giggled and motioned for him to follow.

"Faliz Navidad."

"Em?"

"Faliz Navidad."

Justin leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Ahem. Em?"

"Faliz Navidad la la la la la la la la la la."

"Em."

"I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas!"

"Emerald!" he stood behind her.

She spun around, an embarassed grin on her face.

"As much as I'd love to stand here and watch you shake your groove thang, you need to get ready so we can go. We don't wanna keep the baby out too late."

She nodded and turned back to her mirror.

They'd decided to go to a local bowling alley, something suggested by Isaiah. It's been awhile since they had a Timberlake family outing, and the baby had never been before. Mike accompanied them to a place down the street in the local shopping mall. They picked an alley all the way at the end and got bowlingballs for the kids.

"I'll be back there," Mike pointed to the videogame room, "Scream like a girl if anything happens."

"Shut up," Justin muttered waving him off.

Emerald picked up Angel with one hand, a light bowling ball with the other. She set the ball down then Angel and knelt behind her. Placing Angel's tiny hands on the ball, she pushed and the ball started down the alley. Angel giggled and clapped happily. The ball stopped about halfway down and Justin hit it with his ball, the result being a strike. Angel bounced happily from her place on the floor at the noise the pins made as they fell. Justin walked over to standher as his lips met the place where her shoulder turned into her neck.

"Mama," Angel cooed from her place under a chair.

"Yep, she's Mama and I'm Daddy. Can you say Dada?"

The baby smiled.

"Say Dada. Say Dada."

"Dadadadadadadada," she replied.

"Yay!" he picked her up and swung her around before kissing her puggy cheek.

"Dad, look!" Isaiah called before sending his ball down the alley, knockin over all but one pin.

"That's awesome lil' man," Justin set the baby back on the floor and moved to stand next to his wife.

"Happy to be married to me for another year?" he dropped his arm around her shoulder.

"I supposed," he looked down at her sharply, "I'm only kidding. Ofcourse I am."

"Good," he kissed the top of her head.

"Baby, do something for me."

"Anything."

"Say that you'll stay this way forever? That you'll never change. Don't move, don't breath, don't change, don't leave me. Promise me that you'll stay, we'll stay this way."

Justin looked as his children as Isaiah helped Neveah bowl, and then back as his wife's adoring face and smiled at the idea of forever and forever with them and no one else. He kissed her lips and leaned his cheek on her head.

"I promise we'll be this way forever."

Love be still Love be sweet Dont you dare Change a thing I want to photograph you with my mind To feel how I feel now all the time

Say that you'll stay Forever this way Forever and forever That we'll never have to change Don't move Don't breathe Don't change Don't leave And promise me Say you'll stay We'll stay This way

I get afraid Dont think ahead Let's just stay This way in bed Feels so good inside your arms Home is everywhere you are

Don't move Don't breathe Don't change Don't leave Promise me We'll always be This kind, this sweet This good to me Promise me We'll always be

Say that you'll stay Forever this way Forever and forever That we'll never have to change Don't move Don't breathe Don't change Don't leave And promise me Say you'll stay We'll stay This way