chasing for the perfect song... by EllY_chaOtic_fic_queEn
Summary: I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
elly cant be high for more than a second for life brings her back down. she reaches the highest peaks only to find that gravity is cruel and can bring her crashing down. what happens when a man tries to change all that?
Rating: PG-13
Categories: Long Stories
Characters: Group, JC Chasez
Genres: Drama
Warnings: adult language, sexual situations
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 10/11/05
Updated: 10/13/05
Index
Chapter 1: chapter one: there's Gotta be More to Life
Chapter 2: chapter two: 24 hours
Chapter 1: chapter one: there's Gotta be More to Life
Chapter one: there’s gotta be more to life...
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
She walked out of her house clad in her work uniform. Starbucks wasn’t exactly great pay but it got her by. Her mother insisted that she doesn’t work. But how can she not, when she always feels deprived of it all. She needs some sort of something to do to get her by. Just when she feels at the top of her game she comes crashing down when she realize that she really doesn’t have it all. Her father doesn’t understand why she decided to work. He told her if it was about the money he’d send it. But it wasn’t all about the money. It was about getting out. Doing something. Nobody seemed to understand why the soothing aromas of the coffee shop comfort her. For her this wasn’t just a job. It was a way to escape. Even if it was only for an hour.
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go
She sighed as she pulled out of her driveway. What was it that she was missing? Why could she never feel completely whole? As soon as she was sure she was close to the feeling she crashed to the ground like a terrible car wreck. There was something missing here. And she needed to figure it out. Starbucks wasn’t going to do it for her anymore. She needed to find her REAL place. She was eighteen for Gods sake. And nothing seemed to satisfy her.
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more
Than wanting more
She turned off her car and closed her eyes for a moment. She envisioned herself a star. A beautiful glamorous person on a stage with everyone’s undying attention. She turned to her left and saw a shadow. She knew this shadow well. It was the shadow in all of her dreams. It was her man. The man waiting for her backstage so he could sweep her off her feet and kiss her. Then he’d whisper in her ear and say- she was interrupted from her daydream by a knock on her door. She looked up and smiled.
“Tony how did I know you would do that?” she said as she walked out of her car.
“daydreaming again?”
“I cant help it.”
He smiled. “care to join me for a shift?”
“as if I had a choice.”
They walked in to the sweet smelling shop and elly smiled.
“I swear this place helps me keep my sanity.”
“Hon if you’re going around saying that you have no sanity.”
I laughed. “sanity is overrated anyways.”
I followed Tony behind the counter and smiled. “hello welcome to star bucks. How may I help you?”
The guy smiled up from under his cap and she felt her world shatter. She didn’t understand why but his eyes, the look in his eyes and the feeling she got was unbelievable.
“ill have a...toffee nut latte.”
“Whipped cream?” she managed to get out.
“Yes.” He smiled. “Hey Tony.”
Tony nodded. “Hey man. How’s everything? Long time no see.”
“It’s going…its going.”
“How are the guys?”
“They’re good. Working hard as usual. Johnny’s got us working hard as ever. But I think this time we’re really gonna blow.”
“I know you guys will. You’ve work harder than anyone for this.”
“Yea. And after all that happened last time…”
“Yea, But you guys are gonna hit it big. I’ve heard a few tracks and this ones good. I’m telling ya man. This is the one that’s gone break the charts.”
“I hope so.”
“so I see you’ve met elly here.”
“elly? Could that be this beautiful woman here.” He winked at her and she blushed slightly. “why yes I have.”
Elly passed him his drink. “enjoy.”
“oh I will.”
“so tony. Don’t be a stranger you hear?”
“how long are you in town for?”
“about three more days.”
“cool. Ill call you’s later tonight so we can do something.”
“sounds good.i was hoping id run into you.”
“you know I always know where the party’s at.”
“I know.”
He turned to elly. “nice meeting you elly. I hope I run into you again.”
She smiled. “nice meeting you.”
He walked out and she let out a small sigh.
“I heard that.”
“no you didn’t.”
“you like my main man there?”
“I know you didn’t just call him ‘my main man’” she said imitating him in a deep voice.
“yea I did.”
“I don’t even know who he is. How am I supposed to like him?”
“I saw that look in your eyes.”
“what look?”
“you know. The look.”
“the look?”
“the look.”
“you don’t know what youre talking about.”
“yes I do. I went to high school with you. Trust me I know what that look means.”
“what does it mean?”
“it means you felt something.”
“I did not. And if I did, what are the chances ill ever see him again. Besides I don’t even know his.”
“you don’t know his name?”
“no. you didn’t introduce us dumbass.”
“I figured youd know who he is.”
“well I don’t. who is he?”
“that my girl was Joshua chasez.”
“Joshua chasez?”
“better known as jc.”
“jc chasez? Jc chasez…jc cha- from nsync?”
“yes ma’am.”
“how the hell do you know jc chasez from nsync?”
“I have connections.”
“what connections.”
“his bandmate’s my cousin.”
“who?”
“joey.”
“your cousin is joey fatone?”
“my last name is fatone isn’t it?”
“dear lord. What else don’t I know about you? A wife? Any kids?”
“haha. Funny. But no. ive always talked about joe.”
“you have but how was I supposed to guess hes joey from nsync?”
“youre a smart girl.”
“that I am.”
“cocky ass.”
“im kidding my love.”
“so like I was saying. You’ll see him again. Trust me.”
“oh hell no. fuck that. I don’t have a chance in the world.”
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing
She walked into the familiar club and smiled. ‘this is the night I let go’ she thought.
*
Jc looked around at the people at his table.
“something bothering you c?”
“nothing. I was just thinking about someone.”
“who?” Joey asked, curious.
“no one.”
“elly?”
Everyone turned to look at Tony.
“im just askin about a girl I introduced him to.”
“its no one. Listen ill be back.”
“youre going to the jazz club?”
“yea. ill be back in half an hour. See ya.”
He got to the front of the jazz club and smiled. “this is what I need.” He said to himself.
“hello mr. chasez. Long time no see.” the bartender greeted as jc sat down.
“too long if you ask me.” He smiled.
“what’ll it be?”
“give me some scotch.”
“on the rocks?”
“yes.”
Jc looked up at the stage when he heard a woman start to sing.
Baby, I'm so into you
You've got that something, what can I do
Baby, you spin me around, oh
The earth is movin, but I can't feel the ground
The woman was dressed in a short sexy black and pink dress. Her voice was so seductive it was almost as if it was singing to him. Calling him out to her.
Everytime you look at me
My heart is jumpin, it's easy to see
Loving you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
The way she moved on that stage was captivating. He could tell she had what it takes. She was truly beautiful. She didn’t do too much, which was the mistake of some artists these days. She just swung her hips at all the right moments and did a few simple moves. But it wasn’t so much the moves as it was the way she carried herself.
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
Something about this woman seemed familiar. She seemed like someone he knew.
“hey dan?”
“yea?” the bartender turned to jc.
“is she new?”
“yep. Only comes on certain days. This place is like her escape. She comes here when she needs a kick. A break. She’s the best singer we have though. Wouldn’t be surprised if she left us and did bigger things.”
Jc nodded. “shes amazing.”
“you should go backstage when she’s done. Tell her you liked her. Im sure itll mean a lot to her.”
“I think ill do that.”
Tell me, you're so into me
That I'm the only one you will see
Tell me I'm not in the blue, oh
That I'm not wastin
My feelins on you
Loving you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
*
I'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed....
Elly finished taking off her makeup and sighed. “why cant I be complete?” she asked the empty room. “why…” she looked up at the mirror and sighed again. Looking in the mirror only reminded her of what she was. Ordinary.
“come in!” she yelled when she heard a knock at the door.
“hello.” She heard a familiar voice say.
She turned around in shock.
“Joshua chasez…”
“that would be me yes…”
“what are you doing in my dressing room?”
“I came here and heard you sing. I just thought id let you know how amazing I think you are. Wait. Aren’t you the girl from the coffee shop? Elly?”
“yes sir.” She smiled.
“well what do you know.”
“so you liked my performance?”
“I think it was the best ive ever seen at this club. You are truly one of a kind.”
“thank you.”
“listen do you want to come with me to the club across the street? All the guys are there. Including tony.”
“I don’t know…”
“please. It would mean a lot to me.”
She smiled. “fine.”
*
Once they were in the club elly found it hard to keep up with josh. “I think im losing you!!” she yelled over the crowd. He turned around and smiled.
“don’t worry!”
But yet after a few minutes of walking she was pulled apart from him.
“shit…”
She walked around for a few minutes looking for him. She would have kept looking longer if, once again, her mood wasn’t ruined. As she was walking towards the bathrooms some guy grabbed her and pulled her onto him.
“hey baby.”
She spat in his face and ran out of the club. Faces became all a distant blur and lights flashed past as she ran. Once again her fate proved true. She couldn’t be high for too long. Life didn’t allow her to be.
There's gotta be more to life
More to my life…
Back to index
Chapter 2: chapter two: 24 hours
Chapter 2: 24 hours
I've been sitting in the dirt (for 24 hours)
I've forgotten what I’m worth (for 24 hours)
Said that you'd be here last night
Elly woke up the next morning to the shrill ring of the telephone.
“hello you ahve reached the bitchy express. before we continue will it be cash or credit?"
"credit...ms. corny ass."
“please… so what's up Tony?”
“why'd you ditch us at the club last night?”
“I was never with you guys.”
“why’d you ditch jace?”
“I didn’t. we got lost walking in. I tried looking but I couldn’t find him.”
“so you’ve been performing at the jazz club?”
“just last night. I needed it.”
“I don’t see why your reality is so bad.”
“neither do I. and that’s the problem.”
“well jc was upset that you weren’t there.”
“did he say something?”
“no. but I could tell. And so could everyone else.”
“are you working today?”
“yep. I’m about to walk out the door.”
“oh really?”
“yep.”
“well I’m off.”
“don’t rub it in.”
She smiled. “I think I might stop by.”
“but- you know what that’s a great idea.”
“but what?”
“I was just about to say not to leave with in the next few minutes because I know you live closer and I’m opening.”
“ok…”
“well I’m out.”
“see ya.”
She hung up the phone and got out of bed. ‘even if I’m going I still need a boost.’ She thought as she made herself some coffee.
I'm trying to shake you from my skin (for 48 hours)
Clean up this mess i've been put in (for 48 hours)
I'm guessing you can't always win
Thirty minutes and fifty outfits later, elly walked up to the starbucks door only to find that it was closed. She sighed.
“his ass better be here.”
She knocked on the door and a few minutes later came face to face with tony.
“let me find out what your doing in there.”
“my personal porn movies. You know how I do.”
“tony your blowup doll don’t count.”
“funny..”
“are you gonna let me in?”
“um…” he paused and turned around. “yea I guess so.”
She walked in quizzically and sighed when she saw the five men sitting inside.
“don’t tell me these are the stars of your porno. Because if they are I might have to buy it from you.”
Tony gave her a skeptical look and three of the five guys choked on their coffee.
“real funny elly.”
“hey you were the one who mentioned porn.”
He rolled his eyes. “I was going to make you coffee…but now, now you can make it your own damn self. You work here don’t you?”
“asshole!” she said laughing.
“you know it baby.”
She shook her head and walked behind the counter.
“what are you making?”
“a frap.”
“you already had coffee today?”
“I had to. I need a boost in the morning. Especially when you woke me up so early.”
“I woke you up?”
“hell yes you did. Its my day off. You really think id be up at seven?”
He smiled.
“yea…”
She rolled her eyes and started walking towards a table. Just as she was about to sit down tony came up to her, causing her to drop a few things.
“lucky I didn’t drop my frap. Or you know id be kicking your ass now.”
“want me to get it?”
“no.”
She bent over to get her things.
“yea baby!” someone behind her whistled.
Elly snapped up and turned around slowly. “who?”
Tony laughed. “don’t take it personally ell.”
“shut up.”
She looked at them all with disapproving looks, letting her eyes linger a little longer on jc, and walked across the room to sit in a booth.
“whered you go last night.”
“I should have known someone was going to follow me.”
“a beautiful woman like you should expect it.”
“stop flirting chasez.”
“I see your smile. I know you like it.”
“im too young for you.”
“how old are you?”
“eighteen.”
“your only five years younger.”
she raised an eyebrow. “you’re a lot older than I thought.”
“if you want me to lay off I will.”
“I got lost. Last night. Some guy hit on me and I ran off.”
“oh. Sorry about that. How about I make it up to you?”
“I don’t know…”
“please. It’s the least I could do.”
“really josh. You don’t have to. Its not a big deal.”
“but it is. If you don’t want to go clubbing then maybe we can go see a movie?”
“if I say no will you come up with another idea?”
“most likely.”
“well then…how about you pick me up tonight and we’ll see where we go from there.”
“sounds good to me.”
She smiled. “we cant get close though.”
“and why not?”
“you’re leaving in three days. And youre too old.”
“well excuse me miss. What if I said youre too young.”
“too young?? Please. You’d be surprised.”
“so ill pick you up at eight?”
“eight…” she repeated.
What was she getting herself into….
I can't have anything I want
They say I'm just too young
But it's not my fault
I'll find my own way home if I gotta
I'll make it all alone if I gotta
Elly answered her door with a smile. “hi tony!”
“don’t you hi tony me. Whats going on tonight?”
“nothing why?”
“I called the house and your mom said you were getting ready for a big date.”
“its not a date.”
“with who?”
“no one.”
“I want to know.”
“what for?”
“for future reference.”
“future reference?”
“if I ever need to kick the guys ass.”
“you wont. It’s a one time thing.”
“oh hell no I will not watch you have one night stands!”
“then don’t watch… Its not a one night stand.”
“whos it with elly?”
“its with jc k?”
“jc?”
“yes…”
“elly. When you were talking about liking him I didn’t know you were serious.”
“correction. You were saying shit about me liking him. And I don’t. I don’t know him.”
“elly I don’t think this is right.”
“why not?”
“youre too young.”
“too young?”
“yes.”
“tony don’t start shit with me.”
“im being serious.”
“tony…”
“elly hes twenty four. Hes been through a lot more and is way more experienced.”
“so?”
“youre trying to keep your innocence until married!”
“tony…just because were going on this one date doesn’t mean were going to have sex.”
“it better not mean that. I don’t care how long ive known him. You come first.”
“awww. That’s so cute tony. You care bout me.”
“of course I do. And Ive had to kick some asses to prove it too.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “so how do I look?”
“you look good. a little too sexy though. You should cover up more.”
“tony, please. Im covered up more than enough. Im not showing nothing.” She was wearing her favorite pair of jeans and a pink and yellow striped halter top.
“too much cleavage. Please woman I want him staring at your eyes when hes talking to you.”
“tony…”
“im serious.”
“whatever.”
“so whens he coming to pick you up?”
“in about five minutes. Why?”
“oh well in that case I have enough time to stick around.”
“no you don’t.”
“I think I know how much time I have.”
“tony! I don’t want you messing this up for me.”
“I thought it was just a one night thing.”
“it is…but still. I don’t want to leave any bad impressions. Ya know?”
“yea I guess. Well then im out. Ill call you later tonight.”
“alright bye tony.”
“bye ell.”
She smiled and closed the door after him. She only had a few minutes to finish her makeup. Jc would be here soon.
After applying just the right amount of makeup and adding the perfect accessories she decided to make her way downstairs, only to hear the doorbell ring right when she reached the bottom step.
“hello.” She said as she answered the door.
“hey. You look great.”
“thanks.”
“really elly. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve laid my eyes on.”
I'm not so trustful with my friends
I'm on the road alone again
I guess im tired of giving in
“do you trust me?”
“hmm?”
“do you trust me?”
“I don’t know. this is only our first date.”
“yea…I know but you’re really quiet.”
“I don’t know I guess since youre older…”
“listen I know it’s a meaningful difference but its really not a lot. I mean I know you might think that im going to try and pressure you, but im not like that. I respect the fact that youre younger and you seem like a girl with morals.”
She smiled.
“yes jc…I trust you.”
They decided to just walk around the grove and talk. It seemed like nothing, but to elly there was nothing she’d rather be doing. Jc was turning out to be a great man, a lot better than he initially seemed.
“are you enjoying yourself?”
“yes I am.”
“good.”
“are you?”
“yep.”
“you know its been really great to get to know you.”
“better than going clubbing?”
“much.”
“I guess you don’t like the clubs eh?”
“no, I like them…its just that, that particular one has never been on my good side ya know?”
“bad experiences?”
“yes.”
“well im glad we decided to come here.”
“oh really?”
“yea. I don’t really go to clubs often. Id rather do something more meaningful. Like this.” She smiled. “I think you’re a really great person.”
“thanks.”
“you know the night is so beautiful.”
“you think so?”
“yes. Look at the sky. Not one imperfection. Just like this night.”
“don’t count on perfection. You know the good doesn’t last forever.”
“I know. But while its here why worry about its downfall?”
“you know you have a point.”
“I always do.”
“cocky bastard…”
“kidding.” He smiled down at her.
“are you cold?”
“no why?”
“youre shivering.”
“well now that you mention it it might be a little chilly.”
He wrapped his arm around her. “better?”
“honestly? Much.”
“I don’t see why something like this would have a downfall.”
“I do. Youre leaving tomorrow. Its cant possibly work.”
“but ill keep in touch. We can just start off as friends. You know. Take it slow. Then youll decide what you want from there.”
“you know ive never met a guy as considerate as you.”
“I don’t think youll ever meet anyone like me, in all honesty.”
“you know…neither do i.”
I'm sick of wishing you were near
You've gone your way, you've made it clear
Why do I feel you everywhere?
Why do I feel this everywhere?
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