I Try ~ Third in the Crushed Trilogy
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
~Macy Gray, I Try
Saturday, August 30, 2003
**********
Allison Montgomery pulled at her dress uncomfortably. Looking at herself in the mirror, only one thought made it through her mind in the mass of confused and conflicted feelings she had in her that day: why, in the name of God, did it have to be PINK??
Not that it was a bad shade, she admitted to herself as she turned a little, trying to get another glance at the back of the dress. The straps crisscrossing all the way down her back made it not as innocent as the high-neck front made it out to be. Which didn’t really help her.
She was going to be seeing Justin today. And she was wearing pink.
Not that anything was wrong with pink. On any other day, she would have loved this dress, and the way she looked in it. But today…she wanted to appear confident, assured, poised, and together. In this shade of pink, she looked soft, feminine, and…well…the shade of the dress was called “Blush” and in her mind, that just made it worse. One thing that she WAS confident of was that she looked beautiful in it. That was good, right?
If only the color was one that screamed no-regrets. Like Burgundy.
That would make her feel better. Rather than a shade called Blush. Because in seeing Justin today, she wanted to prove that she really DIDN’T have any regrets. Never mind the fact that she DID.
She flopped onto her bed in a huff. This sucked. Her brother was getting married today, and all she could think about was the fact that he had asked Justin to be his best man. And she was Lily’s maid of honor. And though she wanted to be happy for her brother, she honestly did, why did he have to be best friends with Justin Timberlake?
Then again, if Clint and Justin hadn’t been best friends to begin with, she would never have known Justin, she never would have developed a crush on him, she certainly wouldn’t have kissed him, and then kissed him AGAIN to prove that she could make him want her, and THEN walked away. And she wouldn’t have spent the entire summer thinking about him as Justin had predicted she would.
Maybe he’d cursed her. When he’d walked out of her backyard in the middle of the storm, he’d actually cursed her. Yeah. She could still hear him. His parting words played over and over in her mind everyday like a freaking broken record.
“And if you think you proved anything, that you got me out of your system now, you’re going to find out how much of a lie that is. Because you’re still going to be thinking about me, every night. You’re still going to be thinking about this kiss. And the last one. So tell me, where’s your comfort now, Allison?”
Yeah, she came to a conclusion with a nod, he’d definitely cursed her.
The knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. “Come in,” she called, hopping off her bed, running to her dresser, and pretending to be doing something, and NOT looking like she was hiding out in her room. Which she was.
“Hey, lil sister, how’s it going?”
Allison turned towards the door with a hesitant smile on her face. When she saw that Clint was alone, it grew into a big grin, and she ran up and hugged him. “Oh my Lord, I can’t believe you’re actually getting married!”
His shoulders and eyebrows rose as he drew in a shaky breath. “I know. Me either.” He looked nervously around her room, tugging at the collar of his tuxedo. “Hey, do you have a ladder outside your window, or a tree, or even a short drop would do right about now…”
Allison gave him a look. “Oh please. You and Lily are perfect together, the happiest I’ve ever seen you is when you’re with her. You don’t want to run from something like that. Trust me,” she assured him with a soft look. Lord it was so true. Him and Lily were like…well, they were like peas and carrots…
“Why not? You did.”
What the”?? Allison did a double take. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was talking about Justin. He KNEW about that?! “Who told you? It couldn’t have been Lily, because I never even told her. And HE wouldn’t have told you. Wait…if you know, why is he still alive? Isn’t there some sort of Man Code that says, and I quote, If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever?”
Clint gave her a fake shocked look. “You know about the Man Code? I wonder who the leak is…” his voice trailed off as he stared off into space, trying to figure out how a woman had found out about the Man Code.
“Oh please, don’t change the subject. How do you know about that? And why haven’t you killed him? And just to let you know, I won’t be upset if you actually decide to. I’ll even provide the knife or the gun or whatever.”
“You don’t really want him dead.”
Glaring at him, Allison turned a little, looking at the pictures on her bulletin board. A central picture of Clint and Justin. A picture that she had ended up staring at all summer, wanting to take it down and have a ritual burning ceremony, but lacking the gumption to take Justin off her wall. Damn him anyway. “Wanna bet?”
“And Lily told me. You didn’t have to tell her. It’s a small town. She’s your best friend. And she’s a woman. They’re good at figuring out things you’re not telling them. Lily’s better than most. Trust me on that,” Clint advised with a wry grin.
“I don’t even want to know all your dirty little secrets that you’ve kept from Lily, or tried to keep, so lets just leave that little statement alone, shall we? Still, even if he is your best friend, couldn’t you, I don’t know, run him over with a car or something? You can use my car so you won’t scratch or dent yours.”
“Lily and I both knew he was coming into town this summer to see you when you got back from England. Which is why we went out to dinner. When we returned, and Justin had already taken back off to California, Lily figured out that something must have happened. And the way you’ve moped around all summer, watching MTV news every ten minutes to the hour hasn’t exactly been very subtle. And trust me, I did want to kill him. But Lily said that you wouldn’t have been so down and distracted this summer if what the two of you might have had hadn’t been good. And I trust Lily. So, if you two even had the chance to have what Lily and I have, what happened?”
Allison gave her brother a disgruntled look. Since when had he become Dr. Love? Damn married people anyway. Or almost-married people. “I’m an idiot. That’s what happened. And he cursed me. I think for life. But whatever, I blew it, I know. So, did you come up here just to get the dirt on me and Justin, or was there a real purpose to this visit?”
Clint shook his head at her, and Allison couldn’t stand the pitying look, so she turned back towards her dresser, picking up the necklace that she’d decided to wear to with the dress. So what if it also happened to be a present from Justin on her seventeenth birthday? He’d probably given out so many gifts to women, he wouldn’t remember. And it looked perfect with this damn shade of Blush.
“Well, really, Lily sent me up here. She wanted to make sure you would be okay with seeing Justin today, since he hasn’t been at the rehearsal dinner or anything. And she wanted to see if you were ready to head over to his house.”
Her mouth gaped. “That’s bad luck! You’re not supposed to Lily today!”
Clint rolled his eyes. “I didn’t. Her sister told Joseph, who told me, and now I’m telling you. So see, no Lily-Clint interaction.”
No Lily-Clint interaction? No Lily-Clint interaction?! “Oh no, this is so much better!” she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. “Now the entire freaking wedding party knows! THANKS! Argh. I quit. I’m gonna stay here, climb back under the covers and go back to sleep!”
And if he even made a noise that so much as SOUNDED like a laugh she would straight up kill him! “You just said argh.”
How bad would it be to kill the groom on his wedding day? Surely she could hide the body before the police came looking for him and just tell them he climbed out her window, onto the tree and took off…
“And Allison? I think everyone and their GRANDMOTHER knows about you two already. Like I said, you haven’t been big on subtlety this summer. And certainly not the last few days. You pushed Joseph, Maria, Lily, AND me out of the way to hear the answering machine when Justin said he wouldn’t be able to make it back to town until this morning. And the closer today came, the more touchy you got. Joseph actually asked me if you knew you weren’t the one being leg-shackled today.”
Allison glared at him. “Fine then. Whatever. Let’s go.” She waited at her bedroom door for Clint to precede her. “And that’s still just the wedding party. See, everyone and their grandmother DOESN’T know. So there.” She stuck her tongue out at her older brother.
“Lily’s grandmother saw you two kissing. She DOES live right next door, remember?”
**********
Justin watched out his window as she walked up the driveway. Damn she looked beautiful. Not at all like the heartless bitch she’d proven herself to be earlier that summer.
Okay, he reminded himself, this was Clint’s big day. Not a day to let whatever had happened, or had NOT happened, between him and Allison ruin it.
But damn, to go a whole day without thinking about the mess that things had become with Allison that night during the storm? Now, THAT would be quite a feat. Stupid girl hadn’t left his mind all summer. Even during concerts he would find himself thinking about her. About their kiss in the middle of the storm. About the way she’d turned from him as though it had been nothing more than a game.
Never mind all that. This was Clint’s day, and Justin hadn’t seen his best friend in over three months. They’d been on the phone once, and Clint had mentioned how crazy Lily was getting, trying to find a place to hold the ceremony, so Justin had suggested his backyard. Which had satisfied everyone. Thank God it was a sunny August day.
When Clint walked through his front door, Justin’s smile was genuine. Damn, it was hard to believe that CLINT, the boy he’d grown up with, the boy he’d played basketball with for most of his life, was getting married. He could remember when Clint asked JoAnna Myers out in 7th grade, Clint’s first date. And now here he was, getting ready to walk down the aisle. Justin had wanted to be here before today, to give him a proper bachelor’s party and be part of all the madness and be the calming voice that made sure Clint knew he was doing the right thing, but he’d been kept away with the end of the tour. Justin had talked to Joseph earlier that morning and found out that Clint’s bachelor party had been a success, if a bit tame on account that it was Shelby Forest and not too much could happen here without everyone and their grandmother finding out about it.
Literally. Justin remembered the conversation he’d had with Clint right after he got back to California after that disaster with Allison. He’d actually been given permission to date Allison. Not that he wanted it. Or had a need for it. Stupid girl. And stupid him for letting himself be led on like that, just so she could prove some silly point to herself. And he had fallen for it all.
Okay, Clint’s day, Clint’s day…Justin hugged his best friend, pointedly ignoring Allison, who brushed past both of them to find the room Lily would make finishing preparations in when she showed up in a few minutes.
**********
Wow, Allison was coming to the point where she herself actually believed that she didn’t exist.
She tried not to glare at Justin across the dinner table. But it was kind of difficult. The dumb ass had been ignoring her all day. They’d had to walk down the aisle together earlier during the ceremony, and Allison honestly thought Justin would just walk away from her rather than let her take his arm. But no, it had all gone off without a hitch. Although he had yet to actually LOOK at her all day.
Allison knew she should have worn Burgundy.
She sighed as she slouched a little into her chair, looking past the back of Justin’s head to where Clint and Lily were sharing their dance. Of course Justin wouldn’t have done anything to ruin it. Even though he was turned in his seat to watch the dance, she knew what his face would look like. That same I’m-deliriously-happy-for-you expression that had been on his face when he’d given his speech.
That damn speech. Even she’d had tears in her eyes. He knew what to say, he was completely focused on Clint and Lily and making sure their day was perfect. Not that she would let him see that he had brought tears to her eyes. Well, she wouldn’t have let him seen that, if she hadn’t had to give her own speech right after him.
Grrr. Allison was so sure she didn’t exist in his mind, and it was freaking her out. She had spent the entire summer thinking about him. There hadn’t been an hour during the day when he didn’t somehow pop into her mind. Hadn’t been a night where she hadn’t had at least one dream about him. Hadn’t been a day that she didn’t cry because she was stupid and passed up on what she really wanted but would never admit to wanting it.
And he barely knew she existed. It was like being thrown back in time, having grown up crushing on him, only worse because she didn’t even have his friendship now. Besides Lily, there weren’t too many people in Shelby Forest that she’d actually been friends with, or shared some semblance of conversation with. She’d always been too different from most people, had too many dreams, been too much for a small town. So she’d always reverted within herself, happier that way.
Lily and Justin were the only people besides her family that had been able to pull her out of that shell.
Damn wedding. She couldn’t wait for Tuesday, when she would be out of Shelby again, on her way to start her junior year at Vanderbilt. Three more days.
Clint and Lily’s song ended. Allison clapped with everyone else, although she had completely missed it. Well, she could blame THAT on Justin too. She gave a mental nod; yes, she could.
Lily was still holding Clint’s hand as she took the microphone from the bandstand. Allison sighed. She wanted what Clint and Lily had. Single people should be banned from weddings. It was too depressing to see two people so completely in love that they wanted to share the rest of their lives together.
“Alright,” Lily announced into the microphone. “Seeing as how it’s my wedding, and I can pretty much do what I want, the next song is for the wedding party. So, come up and join us.”
Polite clapping from the audience. A shocked look from Allison. And she could imagine Justin’s look”wondering who he was supposed to be dancing with, as Lily’s maid of honor didn’t exist in his mind.
But no, Justin had turned in his seat to face her. He stood up and held out his hand.
The stony look on his face finally let Allison know that she did exist…although she wasn’t sure if this was an improvement. This didn’t look like it was going to be a fun dance. Damn.
Would it be too obvious if she took off running from Shelby Forest’s only grand hotel banquet room? If she fled into the night, so to speak?
As Faith Hill’s Breathe started to play, Allison realized that everyone…and their grandmother…was watching her and Justin. Damn this small town gossip anyway. Damn, damn, damn, damn!
Taking his hand, Allison’s expression matched Justin’s. She realized that he knew that everyone in town knew about them, AND they knew what Lily was trying to do with this new tradition.
Holding her hand, he led her to the end of the short table, their arms raised above the few guests they had to pass, and then she was standing next to him and he was leading her out onto the dance floor.
The entire room was silent. It sucked.
Allison was starting to believe she didn’t exist again, as they reached the dance floor and still made no move to actually start dancing.
Finally though, after a few seconds, Justin kept hold of her one hands and pulled her a little closer to him, his other hand going to the small of her back.
They almost didn’t start to move, as Allison’s breath hitched when Justin’s fingers touched the bare skin on her back. Oh dear Lord. But the shock that went through her whole body with that single touch finally started her moving.
Faith Hill had reached the chorus by the time Allison got the nerve to speak. Not that she had anything she actually WANTED to say to Justin. “Look, everyone is watching us. Do you suppose you could stop glaring off into space long enough to look like you’re not going to try to murder me in the middle of the dance floor?”
Justin finally looked at her. Oh God. She’d forgotten what his eyes looked like this close up. She’d only been this close to him a few times in her life. Two of those times had been right before they kissed.
Their last kiss…damn, it had been hot! Don’t look at his mouth, don’t look at his mouth!
“I’m sorry, would it show the truth behind your sham of an image? Is the fact that this is the last place I want to be apparent to everyone else?”
Well, that certainly took her mind off the way he looked today! “I’m sorry, do you think I want to be here anymore than you do? Sorry to deflate the ego, popstar, but no, I would rather be ANYwhere else right now.”
“Suddenly I’m the one with an ego? I thought that would be you. I mean, you’re the one who came back to the States just to prove that you could make me want you. Was that not enough of an ego boost? Do you want to try kissing again, just so you can really fool this town into thinking you’re something you’re not? You want to prove to everyone here that I still want you, that you’re not the shy little girl everyone always thought you were?”
Screw this. She didn’t have to stick around to listen to him.
When Justin felt her trying to pull away, he let go of her hand, but rather than letting her walk off the dance floor, it joined his other hand at her back, holding her tighter. “Don’t even try to ruin this, or Lily and Clint’s day by running away just because you can’t handle the truth.”
Knowing that everyone was still watching, and it would look rather ridiculous if she had to PRY herself out of Justin’s arms, and she really DIDN’T want to ruin Lily and Clint’s wedding day, she stayed put and even managed to wrap her arms around his neck. She buried her face into his shoulder, not wanting the entire town to know that Justin had the ability to make her cry.
She wouldn’t cry. She refused to. “What do you know about the truth? You don’t even know me.” Her voice was muffled by his tuxedo jacket, but she was pretty sure she’d gotten her point across. Besides, if it was muffled, he wouldn’t be able to hear how close she was to crying.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Allison dear. Aside from Lily and Clint, and MAYBE your parents, I’m the one who knows you the best.”
“Obviously not, as you didn’t see the first kiss coming two years ago, and didn’t see the end of the second kiss coming three months ago.”
“The first one, of course I never imagined you doing that. And in fact, the only reason I remember it is because YOU reminded me. As for the end of the second kiss, no, I didn’t see that one coming. Who could have imagined a smart girl like you doing something as dumb as that?”
“Screw you.”
“I think that would be taking the ego boost a little too far.”
She gritted her teeth, refraining from swearing at him or stomping on his foot and getting the hell out of there. “If you think you know me so well, then try to understand how I FELT after kissing you the first time, and reliving that moment constantly for two years. How embarrassing it was to remember how I threw myself at you, only to be shot down. You think you know me so well, but you don’t understand me at all.”
Finally they were both silent. Allison wasn’t sure if it was what she’d said, or the fact that she’d taken her face away from his jacket long enough for him to be able to tell that she was near tears, but they finally stopped arguing.
Of course, after releasing all that tension, she could actually HEAR the song. Or at least the end of it.
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
God, being this close to him, actually being able to feel him breathe, was wreaking havoc on her already-frayed nerves. His fingers on her back, the pressure of knowing how close her body was to his. Knowing that her back was naked to Justin’s touch except for a few spaghetti-thin straps helping to keep the backless dress together.
And apparently, Justin couldn’t ignore the fact that his fingers were on her bare skin. He was rubbing little circles onto her back with his fingertips. Light pressure. Bare skin. Justin’s touch.
She was on the verge of going crazy. Thankfully”or maybe not”the song ended.
With the end of the song, they stopped moving, if the swaying they’d been doing could be called that, and Allison was out of there, and across the room to Lily in two seconds.
“Hey Lily, Clint,” she greeted, kissing them both on the cheek. “I’m exhausted, so I’m gonna take off. But you two have fun on your honeymoon. Don’t make me an aunt too soon. And have some fun in the sun”if you ever leave your cabin long enough to actually ENJOY the Caribbean you’ll be cruising around. Bring me back a postcard.”
She gave them each one last hug and then she was out the door without a backward glance, not caring what the bride and groom and everyone else thought about her hasty exit following her and Justin’s dance.
**********
(Tuesday, September 2, 2003)
The doorbell rang as Allison was crossing from the living room to the kitchen, and she was thrown into an awful sense of déjà vu.
She stood there, staring at the front door, contemplating how long it would take to rig a bomb to the doorbell so that the next time he rang it, it would blow him to Timbuktu. Shoot, if only she knew how…
The door opened and the choice was taken out of her hands. Damn the fact that she lived in a tiny town and didn’t lock her front door.
“Hello, Justin,” she greeted as her visitor quietly closed the front door behind him. Okay, now what? She refused to stand there like an idiot. Instead, she took off up the stairs.
“Allison, wait,” he called out.
She ignored him. Well, kind of. Stopping, but staring straight ahead, refusing to look at him, she said, “Sorry, Justin, but Clint isn’t here, surprise, surprise. Still on his honeymoon. Which you should know. And my parents aren’t here either. They took off for Nashville about half an hour ago.”
Continuing on her way up the steps, she groaned inwardly when she heard him following behind her.
“I know, I saw. Did you really have enough stuff to fill up a U-haul?”
“Hey,” she protested, going on the defensive, “This is the first time that I can actually bring stuff to college and NOT have to pay for shipping, so if I want to bring a U-haul, then I’m sure as hell going to. And besides, it was a U-haul TRAILER, not a full on U-haul.”
Justin tried not to grin. Allison could tell he was trying not to grin. Of course, he didn’t succeed in his efforts, and she threw up her hands as she walked away from him, needing to grab the last box from her room. Justin was too much like Clint. Why did that have to happen with best friends anyway?
“I thought your mom would be driving out with you.”
“Pfft. Me and my mom last for four hours in a car together, alone? Don’t think so. One of us wouldn’t make it all the way to Vandy. The police would find little bits and pieces of whichever one of us was murdered first, from here to Nashville along I-40. There’s a reason besides English literature that I went to college in London for two years. Love my parents to death, but being that close to them IS death.”
Wow, she could almost believe that they were normal people, having a conversation, chatting it up like old friends. Not mortal enemies who had tried to kill each other with words at a wedding three days ago.
Allison took one last survey of her room to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything, painfully aware of Justin standing in the doorway. Of her bedroom.
He was making her nervous. And he knew it. Damn.
Pointing to the last box on her bed, she threw him a fake smile. “That has to go down to my car. The back seat. Doors are open.”
Ahhh, she sighed. She loved gentlemen. Justin didn’t complain or anything of the sort, as he picked up the box and headed out the door and down the stairs. They had a use, after all. Who knew?
Grabbing her jacket, her fuzzy brown teddy bear, and her cactus plant from her windowsill, Allison made a last check. No doubt she had forgotten something, but hopefully nothing too important. Boxes, check. Suitcases, check. Plant, teddy bear, jacket, toothbrush, hairbrush, check. Jane Austen books, check. Other English lit books, check. Sanity, oops, never had that. As could be proved by the conversation she’d been having with Justin.
What the heck was that, anyway? Were they just going to pretend that the last two years hadn’t happened? Maybe that would be better for everyone involved…
“Allison?”
She could hear him calling from the front hallway. Damn that boy moved fast. Okay, no, wipe last thought from memory. Bad thought. Bad.
Running down the stairs, she decided to continue their game. “Thanks for taking that out, Justin. I guess I’ll see you at Christmas?”
They continued to stand in the entryway. Okay, so maybe neither of them really wanted to play the ignore-the-last-two-years game. But Allison sure as heck didn’t know what to do instead.
Justin looked down at her arms and pointed at the matted teddy bear. “Hey, I gave that to you. Your sixth birthday. I didn’t know you still had it. Clint and I were in your room once while you were gone. I didn’t see it.”
“Well, I happened to have taken it to England with me. Now I’m taking it with me so I can have a ritual burning of it when I get to Vandy,” she bluffed as she opened the front door for him. Well, that was one way to end their little small talk game, she decided as she continued to stand with one hand on the door, holding it open and waiting for him to go out so she could lock up behind them. It was one thing to leave it unlocked while they were there. Another to leave it unlocked when everyone”and their grandmother”knew they were going to be gone for a few days.
“Okay,” Justin nodded, grabbing the door and closing it. Refusing to go outside. “So we aren’t going to pretend it never happened. Good. I don’t like being fake. I have enough of that in the Orlando and on tour. I don’t want it at home too.”
Allison raised her eyebrows. “Oh, gee, we wouldn’t want to upset you now, would we?” She made to open the door and leave, but Justin pretty much flattened himself against it.
“No. We’ve done enough running away from this. No more.”
Irritated, Allison’s arms crossed and her foot started tapping. “Well, you ran away in June. I ran away on Saturday. I figure we’re even enough that I can leave now, and I’ll owe you one.”
“Technically you ran away two years ago too. So no, you already owe me one.”
Allison glared at him. Technicalities sucked. “Then talk.”
“You’re right. I didn’t understand you. Or what you went through the first time we kissed, or what you were thinking the second time.” He was still blocking the door, watching for her reaction.
She blinked. Well, this was new. Okay, if he was going to be adult enough to admit that, surely she could…Did she have to? No, because she had nothing to admit. Right. “Okay, great, thanks, what do you want for Christmas?”
Justin ignored her pointed goodbye. “But, you didn’t understand what I felt when you pulled away from the second kiss. Allison, I found everything I ever wanted in you that night. And you walked away from it. You wanted nothing more than to prove to this town that you could make a popstar like me want a shy little girl like you.”
Allison shook her head vehemently. “Justin, I NEVER cared what the rest of this town thought about me. That was never part of it. What I cared about was the fact that I’d embarrassed myself so badly in front of you. It got to the point where I could SEE you laughing about what had happened with the rest of the guys. I could see you relating that story to all your friends when you were drunk and you guys needed a good laugh. It drove me up the wall, until it came to the point where I was determined to prove that I wasn’t foolish in wanting you so badly.”
Oh God, this was too much. Him, her, talking, everything being out in the open…she didn’t want to feel this vulnerable. She didn’t like it.
But Justin’s next words proved that they were both pretty vulnerable today. “You weren’t foolish. Three months ago, I wanted you just as much. Maybe more. Because what I felt for you that night, it wasn’t a schoolgirl’s crush. It was real. And you walked away from it. I was angry. I said some stuff that maybe I shouldn’t have, and that maybe I didn’t mean. I don’t really remember. All I remember is being so angry that you could so easily turn away from what we might have had.”
“You put a curse on me.”
Justin gave her a confused look. “I did what?”
“That night. You cursed me. You said I would think about you, and that kiss, every day, constantly. And I did… Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a curse. Maybe it was just you being right.”
“Good, because if it was a curse, it sure as hell backfired and hit me too. I would be in the middle of the set in Toledo, Ohio, or wherever, and suddenly, the bunch of screaming girls would part and you would be right in front of me. I saw you in every crowded parking lot. In every empty hotel lobby. And I hated the fact that you could do that to me. I hated you. That I COULD hate you…it proved to me that what I felt for you wasn’t insignificant. And neither was the pain.”
Allison struggled to swallow. “I’m beginning to think that nothing that ever happens to us is insignificant. But I’m glad to know that I wasn’t the only one stuck in a Michelle Branch song,” she admitted, looking at him. At those eyes that had the ability to draw her in and see everything about her in a single glance. “So…what now? After this much pain and anger?” she shrugged.
“Now?” he mirrored her shrug. But he reached out one of his hands.
Did she have the courage to do this? Everything that had happened to them thus far, it had hurt so much. Did she have the courage to accept the happiness they could have, knowing that she might have to go through that same kind of pain in loving him?
Well, if he could do it…
His strong fingers curled around her own as she stepped forward. He was leaning against the door and pulled her in between his legs. His other hand…the fingers brushed her hair out of the way as his hand made its maddeningly slow and alluring way to the back of her neck.
And finally she was kissing him. Just a kiss”yet so much more. Their first kiss where she didn’t need to have the element of surprise on her side. Where she didn’t need to gather up the strength to pull away from the guy she’d wanted since she was sixteen. Just a kiss. Just him. And knowing that this was what they both wanted, and would continue to want.
Justin was the one to break it off. But the kiss didn’t end because of shock. And it didn’t end in a form of revenge. And Allison was happy. Justin thumb grazed her cheekbone as he smiled down at her. “Now, I believe, you are supposed to be on your way to Nashville. And, I was wondering, if I could hitch a ride with you.”
Allison smiled at him, thinking he might be crazy, but that was okay with her. She liked that. And this. Well, she just liked Justin. Or maybe she loved him. Whatever. For once, she wanted to just BE with him, and not have a million and one complications intruding on that. “I have a four-hour drive ahead of me. You are quite welcome to come along and drive back with my parents. That is, if you think we can survive a car ride for that long without killing each other, or stopping at one of the roadside motels and having hot and wild sex for two days.”
