Trying to become a singer/songwriter is nothing short of difficult. And the thing is that before you go into it youre warned. Your personal life takes a second place to your job. And your love life? Forget it. but I think that what happened between me and him would have happened whether or not I was famous. Its funny because I look back on how immature I was back then and I cant help but wonder how I even made it. reading back on silly little things like diary entries only prove my point. I got lucky. And I still am lucky. I mean what are the odds that some immature kid from a small town and a sucky life would make it this far. (you see I still use those silly words) but the odd thing is that I remember that back then I thought I was so mature and so wise. But I didn’t know as much as I thought I did. And I dove into deep water.
Diary entries…
July 5th 2004…
I cant believe my luck. I had my interview with jive today. And they signed me!!! This is all happening so…fast. And I cant help but be a little negative and a little worried. I’m afraid. What if I’m too young? What If I cant handle the pressure?
But nonetheless, I am very excited. After all I’m now starting to enter into this huge glam world. (well ill enter it if I do as well as I’m expected to do) but I know its not what its hyped up to be. But just the thought…me. Glamorous.
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July 15th 2004…
Ahhh. Another day at the studio…only today I saw one hell of a hot piece of Hollywood royalty. Justin Timberlake. I’ve met him before…when I was a lot younger. But man. I think any woman who sees him can’t help but get weak in the knees. He is definitely one hot ass man… ::sighs::
Ok…I promise my early childhood teenybopper crushes are over.
Those were the days. The early days. Back then everything seemed so complex, yet so simple at the same time. Its confusing to hear I know…but back then it all seemed to make sense. Well that is until he happened. He became that gray area of my life…he wasn’t as simple as black and white and wasn’t as complex as color. He was just…shades of gray. But I still love him. As confusing as he is.
And the thing is, you never expect those silly chilhood dreams to come true. But they can come true. Only string attached is that in reality when your dreams come true they actually take some hell of hard work to keep them and make them work.
And my dreams? Well they took some work…and I still think the work isn’t over. Truthfully I don’t think it ever is.
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