Chapter one: there’s gotta be more to life...
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
She walked out of her house clad in her work uniform. Starbucks wasn’t exactly great pay but it got her by. Her mother insisted that she doesn’t work. But how can she not, when she always feels deprived of it all. She needs some sort of something to do to get her by. Just when she feels at the top of her game she comes crashing down when she realize that she really doesn’t have it all. Her father doesn’t understand why she decided to work. He told her if it was about the money he’d send it. But it wasn’t all about the money. It was about getting out. Doing something. Nobody seemed to understand why the soothing aromas of the coffee shop comfort her. For her this wasn’t just a job. It was a way to escape. Even if it was only for an hour.
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go
She sighed as she pulled out of her driveway. What was it that she was missing? Why could she never feel completely whole? As soon as she was sure she was close to the feeling she crashed to the ground like a terrible car wreck. There was something missing here. And she needed to figure it out. Starbucks wasn’t going to do it for her anymore. She needed to find her REAL place. She was eighteen for Gods sake. And nothing seemed to satisfy her.
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more
Than wanting more
She turned off her car and closed her eyes for a moment. She envisioned herself a star. A beautiful glamorous person on a stage with everyone’s undying attention. She turned to her left and saw a shadow. She knew this shadow well. It was the shadow in all of her dreams. It was her man. The man waiting for her backstage so he could sweep her off her feet and kiss her. Then he’d whisper in her ear and say- she was interrupted from her daydream by a knock on her door. She looked up and smiled.
“Tony how did I know you would do that?” she said as she walked out of her car.
“daydreaming again?”
“I cant help it.”
He smiled. “care to join me for a shift?”
“as if I had a choice.”
They walked in to the sweet smelling shop and elly smiled.
“I swear this place helps me keep my sanity.”
“Hon if you’re going around saying that you have no sanity.”
I laughed. “sanity is overrated anyways.”
I followed Tony behind the counter and smiled. “hello welcome to star bucks. How may I help you?”
The guy smiled up from under his cap and she felt her world shatter. She didn’t understand why but his eyes, the look in his eyes and the feeling she got was unbelievable.
“ill have a...toffee nut latte.”
“Whipped cream?” she managed to get out.
“Yes.” He smiled. “Hey Tony.”
Tony nodded. “Hey man. How’s everything? Long time no see.”
“It’s going…its going.”
“How are the guys?”
“They’re good. Working hard as usual. Johnny’s got us working hard as ever. But I think this time we’re really gonna blow.”
“I know you guys will. You’ve work harder than anyone for this.”
“Yea. And after all that happened last time…”
“Yea, But you guys are gonna hit it big. I’ve heard a few tracks and this ones good. I’m telling ya man. This is the one that’s gone break the charts.”
“I hope so.”
“so I see you’ve met elly here.”
“elly? Could that be this beautiful woman here.” He winked at her and she blushed slightly. “why yes I have.”
Elly passed him his drink. “enjoy.”
“oh I will.”
“so tony. Don’t be a stranger you hear?”
“how long are you in town for?”
“about three more days.”
“cool. Ill call you’s later tonight so we can do something.”
“sounds good.i was hoping id run into you.”
“you know I always know where the party’s at.”
“I know.”
He turned to elly. “nice meeting you elly. I hope I run into you again.”
She smiled. “nice meeting you.”
He walked out and she let out a small sigh.
“I heard that.”
“no you didn’t.”
“you like my main man there?”
“I know you didn’t just call him ‘my main man’” she said imitating him in a deep voice.
“yea I did.”
“I don’t even know who he is. How am I supposed to like him?”
“I saw that look in your eyes.”
“what look?”
“you know. The look.”
“the look?”
“the look.”
“you don’t know what youre talking about.”
“yes I do. I went to high school with you. Trust me I know what that look means.”
“what does it mean?”
“it means you felt something.”
“I did not. And if I did, what are the chances ill ever see him again. Besides I don’t even know his.”
“you don’t know his name?”
“no. you didn’t introduce us dumbass.”
“I figured youd know who he is.”
“well I don’t. who is he?”
“that my girl was Joshua chasez.”
“Joshua chasez?”
“better known as jc.”
“jc chasez? Jc chasez…jc cha- from nsync?”
“yes ma’am.”
“how the hell do you know jc chasez from nsync?”
“I have connections.”
“what connections.”
“his bandmate’s my cousin.”
“who?”
“joey.”
“your cousin is joey fatone?”
“my last name is fatone isn’t it?”
“dear lord. What else don’t I know about you? A wife? Any kids?”
“haha. Funny. But no. ive always talked about joe.”
“you have but how was I supposed to guess hes joey from nsync?”
“youre a smart girl.”
“that I am.”
“cocky ass.”
“im kidding my love.”
“so like I was saying. You’ll see him again. Trust me.”
“oh hell no. fuck that. I don’t have a chance in the world.”
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing
She walked into the familiar club and smiled. ‘this is the night I let go’ she thought.
*
Jc looked around at the people at his table.
“something bothering you c?”
“nothing. I was just thinking about someone.”
“who?” Joey asked, curious.
“no one.”
“elly?”
Everyone turned to look at Tony.
“im just askin about a girl I introduced him to.”
“its no one. Listen ill be back.”
“youre going to the jazz club?”
“yea. ill be back in half an hour. See ya.”
He got to the front of the jazz club and smiled. “this is what I need.” He said to himself.
“hello mr. chasez. Long time no see.” the bartender greeted as jc sat down.
“too long if you ask me.” He smiled.
“what’ll it be?”
“give me some scotch.”
“on the rocks?”
“yes.”
Jc looked up at the stage when he heard a woman start to sing.
Baby, I'm so into you
You've got that something, what can I do
Baby, you spin me around, oh
The earth is movin, but I can't feel the ground
The woman was dressed in a short sexy black and pink dress. Her voice was so seductive it was almost as if it was singing to him. Calling him out to her.
Everytime you look at me
My heart is jumpin, it's easy to see
Loving you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
The way she moved on that stage was captivating. He could tell she had what it takes. She was truly beautiful. She didn’t do too much, which was the mistake of some artists these days. She just swung her hips at all the right moments and did a few simple moves. But it wasn’t so much the moves as it was the way she carried herself.
You drive me crazy
I just can't sleep
I'm so excited, I'm in too deep
Crazy, but it feels alright
Baby thinkin of you keeps me up all night
Something about this woman seemed familiar. She seemed like someone he knew.
“hey dan?”
“yea?” the bartender turned to jc.
“is she new?”
“yep. Only comes on certain days. This place is like her escape. She comes here when she needs a kick. A break. She’s the best singer we have though. Wouldn’t be surprised if she left us and did bigger things.”
Jc nodded. “shes amazing.”
“you should go backstage when she’s done. Tell her you liked her. Im sure itll mean a lot to her.”
“I think ill do that.”
Tell me, you're so into me
That I'm the only one you will see
Tell me I'm not in the blue, oh
That I'm not wastin
My feelins on you
Loving you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
*
I'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed....
Elly finished taking off her makeup and sighed. “why cant I be complete?” she asked the empty room. “why…” she looked up at the mirror and sighed again. Looking in the mirror only reminded her of what she was. Ordinary.
“come in!” she yelled when she heard a knock at the door.
“hello.” She heard a familiar voice say.
She turned around in shock.
“Joshua chasez…”
“that would be me yes…”
“what are you doing in my dressing room?”
“I came here and heard you sing. I just thought id let you know how amazing I think you are. Wait. Aren’t you the girl from the coffee shop? Elly?”
“yes sir.” She smiled.
“well what do you know.”
“so you liked my performance?”
“I think it was the best ive ever seen at this club. You are truly one of a kind.”
“thank you.”
“listen do you want to come with me to the club across the street? All the guys are there. Including tony.”
“I don’t know…”
“please. It would mean a lot to me.”
She smiled. “fine.”
*
Once they were in the club elly found it hard to keep up with josh. “I think im losing you!!” she yelled over the crowd. He turned around and smiled.
“don’t worry!”
But yet after a few minutes of walking she was pulled apart from him.
“shit…”
She walked around for a few minutes looking for him. She would have kept looking longer if, once again, her mood wasn’t ruined. As she was walking towards the bathrooms some guy grabbed her and pulled her onto him.
“hey baby.”
She spat in his face and ran out of the club. Faces became all a distant blur and lights flashed past as she ran. Once again her fate proved true. She couldn’t be high for too long. Life didn’t allow her to be.
There's gotta be more to life
More to my life…
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