hmmm... Just read this and think you're on to something great with this story. You asked for some feedback for to aid with your next (potential) update and I'll ask some questions:
a) why at 20-something is she reacting like this to a waiter? I'm assuming this girl has been black all her life (lol), so is this her first head-on attack of outright racism?
b) has she been living in a protected bubble dating someone like Justin? Shielded from any comments she may have heard about interracial dating? Did this waiter just burst the bubble?
c) Is she from a generation that believed this kind of hatred evaporated?
d) what's she going to tell her son about race and enthnicity and color? She's a mom. I was suprised she was so meek in the restaurant when she was clearly being confronted.
For me, I agree with another reviewer: I think she owes a big talk to Justin, who seems to "Get it" more than she does. He was getting hot under the collar when it felt like she was still really "Whaaat? What's this waiter meaning."
I wonder why she spent so much time ignoring the comments at the place instead of being like black folks I know (I'm black) and being like "I'm not spending a dime or another second in a place that would hire bigots like this." I'm with Justin, we would have been takin' it to the streets! lol.
Nevermind that in 2010 I can't really buy that waiters who get huge tips at 5-star restaurants would ever jeopardize a cash windfall in getting to serve Timberlake by being so open about their opinions. But that's me. Others may disagree.
Hope this helps and encourages you to keep writing. I'm realizing it could come off as pretty critical from some unknown person. If it does, I apologize, as that's not my intention at all.
More soon please!
Author's Response: She's not really angry at him, she's just really embarrased at the situation right now. I'll have the next chapter up asap, and thanks so much for reading.
OMG!! KICK HIS ASS JUSTIN !!
umm ..... update soon please :D
Author's Response: LOL! I think Justin's kinda trying to keep his cool, but some ass kicking might be nice in this case. Thanks for reading, I'll update soon.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. I think everyone goes through it at least once in their lifetime in some way, although it is a shame. This story itself is inspired by one of my mom's experiences.