denhui (Signed) on Aug 18, 2014 02:18 am (
Quiet)
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DesperateThoughts (Signed) on Mar 06, 2010 12:47 pm (
The Pick Up)
Where has this one been all my life? Fuckin' loved this to pieces.
miranda (Anonymous) on Feb 01, 2010 11:24 pm (
Quiet)
Absolutely loved this!
ninabina (Signed) on Sep 04, 2009 03:38 am (
Quiet)
I loved the twist. I thought it was gonna be bad--but turns out it's just love. I love it when Justin is dark and mysterious. :)
Great work. Can't wait to read more of your stories.
utsukushiijisatsu (Signed) on Jun 05, 2009 12:59 pm (
The Piano Man)
First off... *Wipes off the steam on the screen* Wow o__O
Anyway, before I get carried away back to my intent to leave a review. I know that this is an old story, and I wouldn't have come across it. I'm so glad though that I was able to because I thoroughly enjoyed it. And it's not just because of that steamy hot sex scene that took place. I truly have a high regard for this story that I figured I should stop and give a well-thought out review since it deserves being praised and you deserve commendation for writing this.
Your skill as an author is evident in this story. From the build up of the narrative, to the voice of character whose perspective you've written this in, to the witty dialogue, and the brilliant play of images between the wine, music and actual foreplay, I don't know where to begin. To me they just all come together and make this story work.
The pace of the narration/consciousness of the primary character establishes immediately her personality such that the choice of the drink and music metaphor/analogy/parallel seems like the natural choice to make, thereby everything is coherent and structurally organic. Add to the fact that the pace is set well in the narration itself that the reader feels that she is part of the fact and the narration becomes an actual foreplay, leading up to the eventual climax of the act. It sets it up so you're left wanting, intrigued, interested and not wanting to quit the story.
Finally, I think that a short story form does the idea for the plot justice. Other writers may have and would probably decided to establish this relationship between the two characters in the span of chapters. That idea would work but I don't think that it would be as successful as this short. Everything is wrapped and concluded with the length just right to accomplish all this.
Literary -analysis-diarrhea aside, I really do like this story. And it's got me wanting to read your other works if they would feature the same quality this visual has.
Three thumbs up, if that's possible, and I only regret not reading this sooner. I have a deep respect for your craft and you can count me as a fan of your writing. ^__^
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the time it took to write such a detailed review. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story and hope you get the chance to read more of my work! I got my degrees in literature and rhetoric so I really appreciate all your comments, they help me focus and know the techniques and style that I use is actually working! haha! thanks again and happy reading!
Kijuana (Anonymous) on Apr 11, 2009 01:31 am (
The Frankie Fantasy)
OMG!! That was possibly the hottest shit I've read on this site! That was....incredible!
Ki
Schnessa (Signed) on Jun 23, 2008 10:05 pm (
The Piano Man)
Oh my god Mere!! Seriously? The best story ever! I'm going to go change my panties now! lol
Bee03 (Anonymous) on Feb 15, 2008 05:47 am (
Quiet)
Oh Em Gee.
Mere.You.Are.A.Goddess.
kahnechick85 (Signed) on Dec 23, 2007 01:12 pm (
The Piano Man)
That was awesome. I loved it.
kahnechick85 (Signed) on Dec 23, 2007 02:20 am (
The Broken Table)
That was hott, funny that they broke the table though.
kahnechick85 (Signed) on Dec 22, 2007 12:02 am (
Quiet)
Aww that was so cute. I loved it
babyboo (Signed) on Dec 01, 2007 02:17 pm (
The Pick Up)
Damn
babyboo (Signed) on Dec 01, 2007 02:00 pm (
The Frankie Fantasy)
that was so hot
Linn (Signed) on Nov 11, 2007 06:19 pm (
Quiet)
OMG...That was HOT!! I had a mental picture with every single word. Great writing!
MissM69 (Signed) on Oct 26, 2007 06:38 pm (
The Broken Table)
is it just me or is it hot in here *fans herself*
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