Wowsers, that was scary and thrilling. I could picture the whole scene very vividly. Now I think it's safe to say that Dan's a certified jerk.
I love how Chris was able to break the whole thing up in two seconds flat and how he cared for Libby afterwards. I've got mixed feelings about Justin's behavior; it's cool that he was able to knock Dan down a peg or two, but he didn't go about it the best way, either.
Author's Response: Dan is definitely a jerk, and it was fun having him get his rewards, but yes, Justin is young and has so much to learn. Glad you liked it, and I thought you'd like Chris being the hero!
There's hypocrisy for you. A guy can woo all he likes, but when a girl looks twice at a guy, it's criminal. I've never liked guys who yank girls back and forth like toys on strings, or who treat girls like property instead of people.
At least Justin knows how to treat a woman right. And I may be single myself, and I want a boyfriend as much as the next girl, but I've got my standards to maintain, too. I ain't throwing myself at just any guy's feet!
Author's Response: Exactly! I'm completely in agreement with you. I'd much rather be single than with someone who makes me unhappy just so I can say I'm in a relationship. It never fails to surprise me how many people do that.
Author's Response: I love Clare and Libby's friendship. They know each other so well and they bring out the best in each other, just like good friends should :)
That's funny stuff, and it sounds like just the sort of thing the guys would do. I like the mention of how Chris is the smallest but far from the weakest. Much as I love all the guys, if I could only pick one to meet face-to-face, I'd have to side with Chris.
Nice job, mate! Keep it up.
Author's Response: Thanks! I love Chris, but would be scared to meet him. He's so unpredictable! I wouldn't ever be able to tell when he is or isn't joking! But that's what I love about the guys. They genuinely were being themselves. (Except for you Mr.Bass, how could you keep your hilarious, sweet, adorable true self from us for all those years?)
I was surprised that you'd rebooted this story, but oh well. I still plan to read and review it anyway. Besides, I want reviews for my stories, too, so it's only fair I do the same. Right?
As I said, it's oddly refreshing to read stories that take place in the good old (and not so good old) days of the late 90s and early 2000s, when these guys were going strong.
You have good characterization, good dialogue and a decent plot, and I stand by what I said about keeping this story to its true essence and avoiding unnecessary wordiness. That can be tricky, because you don't want to be too stingy with your words, either. Write Tight by William Brohaugh really helps you stick to the point whiile keeping your story fascinating.
I know this is fan fiction, so the rules don't apply nearly as much. But it never hurts to apply them, either. After all, fan stuff has actually helped me write better original stuff.
Author's Response:
I really appreciated your reviews, and credit them with making me take a look back and think that I wasn't happy with what I'd posted – Especially the order of chapters. (Previously they were either too short, or badly organised, leaving me with fifty-something chapters! Crazy!)
Although I don't have the time,(or the heart) to go back and re-write it all again, (at the moment) I have purchased your book suggestion and do plan to cut unnecessary words eventually. For now I am posting the rest of the story as it is to see what people think. This story is something that means a lot to me, and I want it to be as good as it can be so I will continue to edit it until I am happy. Thanks for your encouragement and nudges in the right direction. :)
Poor Clare! A lot for someone to handle in a short amount of time.
I like this, please keep updating!
Thank you.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying it. Clare has been through a lot, but there will be a happy ending for her eventually. :)
