Two roads came together and merged into one.

The first two years of their marriage was spent touring and promoting albums. The year that followed was their honeymoon faze. They lived between their new house in Los Angeles and the apartment in New York City. Whenever they felt the need for vacation they would hop on a plane and fly away. They loved the randomness of being at home and the next moment being on a tropical island of the coast of nowhere.

Justin of course took his good ol' time off from recording another album of his own but he was there front and center to record with Melissa for another album. It released with astounding numbers, even more than her first. That tour would be her last for a while.

Everyone around them had taken different roads than they were on just a few years ago. So much has changed.

 Trace and Anabelle got engaged two weeks after Justin and Melissa got married, they now have been married for three years and have Mason. He is in his terrible two's stage and he is Trace's son, so he is living up to the terrible two's label.

Stacy moved to Los Angeles hoping to take back the actions she took with the divorce but it was already too late. Mike had moved on and was happily in a relationship, with Brooke.They were not married and were content with just being happy together. So needless to say after she realized that Mike wasn't going to run back to her she packed her things and moved back to Ohio.

Steve and Kia still live in Los Angeles and are very happy there. Steve now runs all the soundboards and lighting for a television network. Kia has really found an interest in fashion; she has been with William Rast for a couple years and enjoys every moment of it.

JC and Julia moved to Los Angeles shortly after their wedding and has become a fixture in Justin and Melissa's lives on a daily basis. JC has joined the team Justin has at Tennman; JC is out there searching for new artists and bringing in some amazing talent.

 Justin was faced with the decision of changing his job when the one person he ever trusted to run his record label died. It became a no brainer to just simply run it himself. Little was he aware that he didn't care for the nine to five style of job. He would much rather work on movie sets for sixteen hours a day or a music video set for days without sleep than to get up and do the same thing day after day.

Since the tour ended, Melissa's time has been spent designing clothing for William Rast and a new line that was going to release sometime next year. As much as she loved performing she knew that she had to choose between the two if they were going to settle down and have children. She thought maybe one day she would get to perform on a regular basis again and not just a couple times a year.

Four months ago, Kia announced she was pregnant. It was a devastating blow for Melissa. As happy as she was for her two best friends, she had the twinge in her voice that it was a sad moment in her life.

Justin

8:05 in the morning and here I sit... in the same place I have sat in every morning, Monday through Friday for the last year, a bowl of cold cereal sitting on the island in the kitchen and a coffee in hand. I never realized how much I didn't care for routines until I had one. I don't mind going into the office at all it's the idea that I have to go in and people are relying on me to be there. I knew that this was just part of my job. I could change that if I really wanted to, I had control over that but I was okay with this and I was looking forward to getting back into the studio with some up and coming artists. It would break up the monotony of the office for me.

On mornings like this I wish Melissa was home to bring me back to reality. She was finishing up some scheduled promo things for William Rast in New York for a couple days. We have a pact that we are not apart longer than a couple days at a time unless something major has happened. I couldn't imagine having my wife away from me every night. I had been away from the person I wanted to see for weeks, even months at a time and it wasn't how I wanted our marriage to be. It was for selfish reasons. I wanted to see her. I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to lie down at the end of the long day in bed with her. I loved that woman more than life itself.

I had hoped to get out of the house this morning early so I could be at the office on time but of course I couldn't get my ass in gear this morning. And by the looks of the freeway that isn't going to happen. So to my surprise while sitting at a complete stop my day seems to be getting better, my phone is ringing.

"Good morning Mrs. Timberlake." He says very sexy.

"Good morning Mr. Timberlake... how is the day going so far?"

"I didn't sleep well so I'm dragging ass this morning."

"What time did you get to bed?" she asked.

"I crawled into bed around ten but I couldn't fall asleep. I need you."

"I need you as well. I will be home tomorrow... it looks like we got the spot for fashion week as well." She said feeling accomplished.

"That's great news babe. How are the reviews of the new lines?"

"Very good, I have a lot of interested magazines and stylists that want the clothes... so it looks like I'm doing my job right."

"As if you can do anything wrong. What can't you do?" I said it without even thinking.

They both got quiet. There was an elephant that stood between them, even when they are four thousand miles apart. I knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling.  "Babe don't stress out about it ok... I love you. Everything will be fine, it will happen for us one day. When it's meant to be it will happen."

"I'm ok... Really I'm ok. It's just the reality of it that is hard sometimes."

"I'm so sorry I should have said anything. I'm so stupid sometimes."

"Justin, I love you. Don't beat yourself up over this. I'm fine."

She says that all the time when she isn't really fine. That really annoys me but I know it's her way of not wanting me to worry about something I couldn't change.

Still kicking myself as I walk in the office, I think so much for a great day. I'm such a dick sometimes. I really need to invest in a filter for my mouth.

Mandy asks what was wrong and I just mumble to her about being as ass and that I was going to my office. My inbox looks like it exploded on my computer of emails. "Shit, how did I get two hundred emails in less than twelve hours?" He mumbles.

Paperwork is never ending. I will never understand why we waste so much paper around here. Lunchtime finally came around and I met with JC to go over some things with an artist that he was working closely with. I had agreed to go back into the studio to work with the artists that he found me. It was a deal we had made with each other. He would only find the artists if I produced the music for them.  The producers that had currently been working with the artists he found were not working out the way JC would hope that they would. It needed something else and he thought that thing, was me.

I love the smell of a studio even though it doesn't really have a smell it's the idea of the smell of a studio. As I walk through the doors of the empty studio I am thinking to myself, Man, I miss this. I know it really hasn't been that long but it feels like an eternity. I used to be in the studio at least once a month and now I am lucky to see a soundboard unless it was to oversee something that needed changed. So the feeling today was exhilarating. I was going in to work. I was the one going to be in control of that soundboard, the vocals that would be recorded, I was back in control and I loved this feeling.

"Elizabeth, take that vocal to the next level. I need you to be in that moment, feel the lyrics."

"I'm feeling the lyrics it just doesn't come out that way."

"Well make it come out that way... you have control over that."

Before I knew it, the clock on the wall said 10:30.

"Damn, where did the hours go?" I asked JC as he looked up at the clock.

"Time seems to disappear when you're in the studio. We got some great stuff accomplished today."

"We sure did. Now only if she can lay the tracks the way I want them done tomorrow."

"She has the pipes; I'm not sure what her problem was today."

"Maybe she was just nervous with everything that was going on around her. My time is limited in this studio though. They need me in the office."

"Have you thought about hiring someone to run the company yet or at least someone to just be your backup?"

"I enjoy my job... I really do. Plus I need to get into some kind of routine for the day when Melissa and I have children. I wouldn't want to be an absent father."

"I don't know if you are trying to convince me or yourself that you are happy with this situation. "

"I really ok with this. I gotta do what I gotta do."

"Whatever man, do what makes you happy."

                JC's words stung worse than I thought they would. I couldn't focus on that now, my body was dragging and I was hoping to get some kind of sleep tonight.

My phone is buzzing uncontrollably, I had voicemails. Fuck. I forgot I even had a phone today.  Four voicemails, I guess it wasn't that bad, first message was my mother  "Justin, I just wanted to call and make sure you and Melissa would still be in town this weekend, Paul and I are going to fly out and see you both... anyways call me back and let me know." I would do that tomorrow in the morning, if I remembered. Second message is from the office, "Blah blah blah." The third was from Melissa, "Hey babe, I figured you were still in the studio, it was a long day I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed. I have an early flight in the morning so I guess I will just see you then. I love you." I wish I would have got that call. It was nice to hear her voice on the voicemail but I would love to have talked to her. Tell her about the things I had done in the studio today. How great it felt to simply have my fingers on those buttons again. The final voicemail was from my mother, again. "Justin, I talked to Melissa so don't worry about calling me back unless you would like to talk to your mother. We should be in L.A. sometime in the evening Friday. I love you. Don't work too much." Tomorrow, I would call her tomorrow. I have to; I haven't talked to her in a couple weeks. I wasn't myself anymore. I hated that avoided talking to her. I just know what she will say to me.

                The clock said 1:14 and I was still awake. An hour later I find myself still staring at the ceiling. The picture on the night stand was Melissa and I on our wedding day. It was my favorite picture of all the hundreds we took. It was a random shot of Melissa and I, she was smiling, and it was the genuine over the moon happy smile, as I look down at her. I will never forget that very moment I remember thinking this woman is my wife. This woman is the love of my life. That picture makes me smile every time I even think about it. . I was glad it was captured.

Looking at the clock again I realized that Melissa should be awake and at the airport. I wanted to hear her voice. The phone rings five or six times and finally she picks up. "Justin? What are you doing awake? Is everything ok?"

"I'm fine. I just wanted to hear the sweet sound of your voice."

"Aww, I love you. It's great to finally hear your voice again. You disappeared from the world yesterday."

"I was in the studio. I forget the world outside of the studio walls sometimes."

"I figured that. I will be home around lunch time if you want to meet for lunch."

"I have to be at the studio around noon so if you want to stop there I would love to see you."

"I will bring you lunch. I'm not going to wait till this evening to see you..."

"Woman, I just love you."

"I love you too. They are yelling at me to get off the phone now, my flight is getting ready to take off. See you in a couple hours. Get some sleep."

I did just that. After talking to her I slept the solid four hours I had left before the alarm rudely woke me up. It was time to get up and start the day over again. Breakfast awaited me. Bowl in hand I grab the box of Apple Jacks and pour a nice helping into it. I have such a healthy diet. If I could get my ass out of bed early in the morning I could run but that's probably not going to happen.

Here I set on the freeway again. Bumper to bumper, just the way I like it.

Melissa

The day I took his last name I was the happiest women alive. I remember the day it became official, I got the paperwork in the mail while we were on the road and I was overjoyed. We spent most of the first year of our marriage on the road. The tour continued for well over eighteen months. That was when we decided that our schedules would have to settle down if we wanted to have children.

Over the four years since that day we have done a lot of things. But the one thing we wanted we couldn't have. I remember the first time I saw those two pink lines, it was the scariest but happiest moment. I was on tour. We were in Charlotte, NC. Standing in the hotel bathroom screaming, "JUSTIN!!!!" he was panicked but when he walked into the bathroom and seen that little white stick in my hand and the smile on my face he knew exactly what I was screaming about. That was the first of many heartbreaking, two pink lines.

Even worse news came just two weeks after we returned home from our honeymoon. I was a newlywed. I was supposed to be happy but I was anything but happy. I got the call that John had another heart attack and that I should get to the hospital.

That fateful day flying to Pittsburgh I remember being a mess. Seeing him so fragile and lifeless was a shock. He has become very ill in just a month. The last thing John said to me still resides with me today, "That man is going to make you happy for the rest of your life. The challenges that will emerge in the next couple years will pay off, I promise you that. Remember the dream that you both want will come true, even after heartbreak it will eventually come true. Have a little patience. Please take care of your mother for me."

I didn't know what he meant then but I do now. Heartbreak was something I became accustomed to. Justin and I have been trying to have a baby for so long that I can't remember what it is like to not have the stress of it. We don't have a problem getting pregnant it was the keeping the pregnancy intact that was the problem. I knew that this had to be my problem. There had to be something wrong with me and I didn't like that feeling.

I never knew how much I wanted to have a baby till the idea that I couldn't have one was in play. It has really consumed our lives. To the outside world we had it all. We really did, but there was something missing that we wanted and it was out of our hands. No amount of fame or money could do this for us.

We have thought about adoption and we also thought about a sergeant. They are both still an option for us but we want to have a child of our own. I wanted to experience that bond with their child growing inside of me. We decided that at the five year mark we would start discussing the other options. The five year mark was creeping up on us slowly and we haven't even thought about anything else besides having a baby of our own.

                Just days before Kia and Steve found out they were pregnant I had a miscarriage. I hadn't told anyone except Justin. I couldn't believe that I had made it to four months. All the doctors had told me if I got through the first trimester that the chances were greatly improved that I would carry the baby to term. I did everything by the book. I was careful at everything I did but that fateful day came just like the previous times. When Kia finally told me she was expecting, she was so excited that we would do this together. Our kids would be the same age and grow up together. So when the words finally came out of her mouth the tears began to fall down my face she realized they were not tears of joy, it was tears of pain. She knew without me even saying anything what had happened. I had taken her joyous news and turned it into my pain.

                I don't think about it as much as I used to. I was even okay on the flight home with a woman sitting next to me with her newborn son. When she asked me if I would hold him for a minute, the sad part of me that wanted a child so bad was not there. I played with him and handed him back to her when she was done getting something from the overhead compartment.

"Do you have children?" She asked.

"I don't, not yet." I look down at the bright blue eyes baby staring back at me.

"You look content with him, like you had at least one of your own."

"My husband and I want children. It just hasn't happened for us yet."

"It will happen. Give it some time. When it's meant to be it will happen."

"That's what I'm hoping for."

                I normally wouldn't talk to someone about that information but she seemed genuine and I don't think she knew who I was. If she did I didn't notice it. Even when the whispering started, she didn't realize they were talking about me. It was the oddest feeling knowing that everyone around you was talking about you but pretending to not be talking about you. I ducked my head in embarrassment.

"Are you ok Melissa?"

"I'm fine. I just don't care too much for the attention." I slouched down further in my seat.

"Ohh... you are who they are talking about." her face suddenly turns a shade of red, "Oh my god, I didn't even piece it together... you are Melissa Timberlake, as in the celebrity, as in the phenomenal singer... as in Mrs. Justin Timberlake."

I'm slightly embarrassed. "Yes." I said shyly.

"Please don't take offense to me not knowing who you were... newborn babies don't allow you for much sleep."

"I was actually happy that you didn't know who I was. It was nice to have a calm normal conversation with someone that didn't freak out by sitting next to me."

"I have to say I'm a little nervous now."

"Please don't be. I'm no different than the person I was five minutes ago."

"So, how is it to be married to Mr. JT.?" She laughed.

"It's so funny that you said it like that... I haven't heard that it years." I laughed. " It's amazing. We are crazy together, but we are happy and that's all that matters."

"You two always seem so in love. It's nice to finally see a celebrity couple that is just happy with each other."

"Well it's weird that you call us a ‘celebrity couple' but it's wonderful waking up next to the love of my life."

                The plane ride wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. I sat and talked to her the entire flight. It was nice getting to talk to someone other than security or doing work on my blackberry.

                Los Angeles was wonderful this time of year. It was early spring but the weather was still warm. It was great to step out of LAX and remove the jacket I was wearing in NY. I arrived at the studio where Justin was working for the day and I stood in the doorway, with bags of piping hot food, simply watching him work. The smile on his face is something I can't describe. He was happy. I haven't seen that smile on his face for quite some time when it regarded work.

                He must have smelt the food because I see his head tip up and turn quickly. I stood there smiling at him. He jumps out of the chair and rushes over to me, almost knocking the bags out of my hands. He gently places them on the table and takes me into his arms. Caressing the side of my cheek before pressings those amazing lips onto mine, "I missed you" he whispers. While everyone else was digging into the food, he just stood there with his arms wrapped around me looking into my eyes and talking to me.
"How was your flight?" he asked.

"It was good, weird without someone with me but good."

"No more trips for a while. I can't deal without you."

"I'm sure you managed just fine on your own."

"I can't seem to sleep at all without you next to me."

"I guess that's a good thing." I winked at him. "Don't expect to get much sleep when you get home tonight."

"Girl... don't say things like that to me knowing I still have hours of work to get done."

"Sorry! Too late, it's already out of my mouth!"

He looks at JC, "I have to put up with these sexual innuendos all the time and she wonders why she can't walk sometimes."

"Whoa, hey now... too much info." JC says.

"Sorry man."

                I just laugh at them and walk over to the board and hit the replay button. I wanted to hear what they were working on. I sit for a moment and listen to the track. The beat was great but her vocals are not where they need to be.

"Why does this sound like she is muttering? Is that the sound you are going for?" I asked.

JC and Justin both looked at each other, and then Justin says "She really does pay attention when I say things to her."

"I absorb everything!" I said as I was drumming my fingers together. "Muhahaha"

"She hasn't really been focused on this. There is something else going on that she isn't telling us. She needs to get her act together."

"She is coming in at the wrong time, the pitch is off a little, and she isn't speaking completely clear."

Justin shakes his head, "Well I'm going to leave and Melissa is going to take over. See ya guys!" Shaking his head while laughing at the idea that I may actually know what I am talking about.

"Hush your mouth Justin. I'm leaving, I'm done nit picking at your work."

"No, stay I like you telling me what I need to do..."

                I reply the track again listening to every detail. I'm shaking my head and taking notes, "Right there... that needs to change..." Suddenly there is a tall blonde standing behind me in the refection of the glass.

"I'm not sure what you are thinking but my voice is strong on that track." I turned to see who it was, she extends her arm to shake my hand "Elizabeth Tate, and you are?"

I chuckle, "Melissa. Melissa Timberlake and you are wrong. Those vocals could be extremely stronger."

"Last time I checked, you were not the producer."

"Elizabeth." Justin said sternly." That is my wife, show her some respect... and she is right. We have been telling you for two days now that the vocals needed to be stronger. She knows what she is doing. She has recorded a couple albums."

"Well, I'm sorry but I take pride in my work and I don't like when a random person puts in their two sense when it wasn't asked for."

"That last thing I would do is come in here and take over, I was just given some ideas. That's what the studio time is for." I turned back to her, "I suggest that your lower that attitude a couple notches because that will get you nowhere except a one hit wonder in this business. Maybe you should think about that."This chick has seriously pissed me off in less than five minutes of being in the studio. She was in for a rude awakening.

                The house doesn't even look like anyone has been here in days. The house was spotless, the bed was made, all the lights were off. Where was my husband the entire time I was gone. It doesn't even look like the man I married was here.

Justin

                Email after email, I can't seem to think straight anymore. All these numbers seem to be one big blur to me after reading theme for hours on end. I really didn't care at this point. Shouldn't an accountant be worrying about all these numbers and figures and dealing with it before it came to my desk? Maybe I should hire someone to just do my paperwork. I would really like to walk into this office and slap my feet up on the desk and only be here to be here. That would be a waste of money though, especially when it's something I can handle, I just don't want to.

9:00 Budget Meeting: Snooze fest

James is sitting there attempting to explain every detail to me.  "Profit is up for the record company this year. It looks like Tom had really stretched the budget last year and spent a little too much on little things."

"Little things could make all the difference. He did what he thought was correct. I'm glad that the profit it up this year. That is wonderful." Justin says after maybe the first thing he actually heard him say.

Maybe I'm actually doing some good by being here every day. He thought to himself.

"Southern Hospitality's numbers improved as well."

"And William Rast?" I asked.

Jared looks down at the paper work, flipping the pages back and forth three or four times, "William Rast's profits and sales have tripled." He looks shocked. "Last year's numbers are remarkable."

"Melissa knows what she is doing." He says with pride in his voice.

"She really has stepped up and helped that line succeed far beyond what we had planned out for five years. She is remarkable in that position."

"She is my wife after all."

"Rub in it Mr. Timberlake."

I just smile at him and he finally leaves the office.  Here I was alone in the office again. I can hear the clock on the wall ticking it is so quiet. Tick. Tick. Tick. I couldn't handle the quietness anymore.

"Mandy... can you please get me a dock for my iPod... I can't take it so quiet in here anymore." I bellow out of the office door.

You want me to go now." She asks.

"Would you please... wait scrap that idea... I will go." I jumped up from my chair. I had to get out of the office for a little while. "I will be back. Get messages from anyone that needs me. I have my phone is something major happens."

Stepping out of the office doors and heading towards my car I felt a sense of freedom and release the moment the fresh air hit my face. I almost wanted to throw my arms up in the air as if I had just been released from jail. I jump in my car and drove slower than normal. I drove on the outside of the L.A. just to get a dock for my iPod. I wanted to waste as much as I possibly could. It was only 10:00am... if I could waste and hour here, grab lunch on the way back to the office then I would only have to spend about an hour there and then head to the studio... this could work.

Taking a lot shorter time that I wanted to, I returned to the office and ate my lunch then counted the minutes down until I would leave the office. Fifteen minutes... I can't take it anymore.

"I'm headed to the studio. See you in the morning Mandy." I say it without even stopping. I had to get out of there.

Studio time today wasn't so much of a gateway today neither. Everything seemed to be falling apart. Why couldn't I handle simple tasks anymore?

"Elizabeth, we have been working on this same track for a month.... You were three hours late today... I don't know what the problem is. I can't continue to waste time in the studio with you. I'm throwing money away by being here day after day for nothing. Nothing is coming out of these sessions. I really think you need to focus on the music right now and that's it."

"Justin I have told you that I'm working this studio time in with my other job." She snaps back.

"I pay your expenses to live here in L.A. Why do you have another job?"

"It's a family business thing." She just stood there as if she didn't care what I thought about it.

Frustrated I open my mouth and say exactly what he was thinking. "Well this is it. This is the last session until you decide what you want. You have the vocals and talent... you just can't seem to focus at all."

"It's my family. I can't bail out on them."

"Maybe they need to accept that this is your possible future you're throwing away. I have spent nearly two million dollars on your future and honestly the three tracks we have finished are not going to work well if we get nothing else great out of it... I'm serious. This is it. I have other artists that need my time and I would love to spend some time with my wife tonight."

"So this has nothing to do with me, it has to do with your precious wife needing you to be at home?"

"Elizabeth." I was pissed, "I warned you about speaking ill towards my wife. You have to learn some respect. If my wife would have needed me to be at home I would have already left. I want to spend time with my wife instead of wasting it here, getting nothing accomplished."

I finished exactly what I was doing, packed my things up and left the studio.

Melissa

                The William Rast offices seem to be a buzz today.  The phones have been nonstop ringing. I was glad that I was in the design room with Ms. Kia, I could spent all day in this room. Being in here and creating new pieces is like being in the studio and recording new music for me. I loved it.

                As much as I enjoyed designing clothing, I knew that Justin hasn't been himself for quite some time. Slowly he has become this distant person, slowly pushing me away.

                "There is something wrong with Justin. He doesn't seem like the same person anymore. He doesn't enjoy the same things anymore. He has become someone I don't even recognize anymore."

                Kia just sits there staring at me if I was going to come with the answer on my own. There was a reason I was expressing this to her. "What is different?"

"It's just everything. He used to want to do things, go places... now he's just blah after he comes home from the office."

"Has the office been stressful lately?"

"I don't think so. He doesn't complain about anything... he just pushes me out of that part of his life."

"Is everything fine between the two of you?"

"As far as I'm aware of?"

"I mean do you guys still... ya know..." Kia attempts not to say the word.

"If you are asking if we still have sex... yes... we have sex more than most normal couples do. That part of our relationship has never changed."

She lies down the pattern she was working on, "Do you think he blames himself for you both not having kids yet?"

"He believes that it's his fault..."

"That is a lot of pressure to have on him."

"I know... we went to several different doctors and they have all said there isn't a problem with either of us, it just works sometimes and sometimes and doesn't. Even when I tell him that is nothing we are doing wrong or wrong with us he just pushes it aside like everything else."

"Hmm defiantly not the Justin we have known. Maybe it is just a phase. Maybe it's something he needs to go through and deal with."

"He is my husband; I should be able to figure this out."

                I wanted so badly to walk in the front door today and just say, ‘Sit, we need to talk.' But it wasn't that kind of situation. I knew that if I questioned him on it, he would hide it even further. I needed to figure out what was wrong with him.

                I got home that night pretty early considering I thought he was going to be in the studio with Elizabeth for at least a couple more hours, I was hoping to get dinner done before he got home. But his car was in the garage, he was already home. I unloaded the groceries and dropped them in the kitchen and walked through the house looking for him. He wasn't in the living room, the office, the bedroom, the screening room, and he wasn't outside. "Justin" I yelled but got no answer. This house may have twice as many rooms as the old house but he couldn't hide from me. There is a slight noise that I haven't heard in quite some time. The noise was coming from the basement. Could he really be in the studio? I walked down the stairs, to my surprise he was not only in the studio, he was in the booth. I didn't step into the room completely. I could see how content he was in there.

                I stood there watching him in awe. The passion that was gone from Justin's eyes, was right there. The man I married was standing in that booth singing his heart out. That is the Justin I fell in love with. He is smiling the way he used to smile.

                His lyrics weren't something that I had heard before. His soulful voice projected through the booth with perfection. He seemed to be stuck on one chorus.

"I've been thinking I should leave... Make it easier... When you find somebody... To love you better... The one I can't let go... And little piece of her... The girl I fell in love with... And never will deserve"

I tears start to fall down my face. Could this be what he has been hiding from me?  He thinks he doesn't deserve me?  I'm the lucky one. I should count my blessings that a man like him loves me so. Maybe he was writing this for someone else. He was a writer after all.

            There was something I never thought would even cross our minds. I was going to another one of those couples who end in divorce.

Melissa

                "Justin, I'm leaving. The car is here." I yelled up the stairs. I stand there for a second and I got no response from him. "Justin." He still didn't answer. I couldn't wait any longer. I was going to miss my flight. I walk back up the stairs and see him lying across the bed, asleep. I bent down to kiss his forehead, cherishing the scent of his skin that I missed so much. I turn and walk back down the stairs and out the front door.

I had tried to talk to him all morning. I had some news for him but he didn't want to hear anything. It was almost as he had detached himself from the world. I wasn't even sure he could handle the news I had to tell him. I have been keeping to myself since the day I saw him in the studio.

He has been spending more and more time recording music with his voice. He was in a better place while he was in the studio but he always seemed like he was hurt by his own words. He will only record when I'm not home.

I take my overnight bag and climb into the back seat of the town car that awaited me. I stared at the floorboard in a daze. I take my hand and wipe the tears that started falling down my face.

"Mel, what's wrong?"

                I looked over to see Kia was already in the car. I didn't want to think about any of it. Not the long night alone in the bed... not the emptiness I feel when I sit at the kitchen table alone at night eating dinner. I couldn't think about any of it... "Nothing." I said, with a lump in my throat.

Meredith was waiting for me in New York. She has been there working diligently on this project. It was much easier to have her there and working on whatever I needed done, rather than to fly to NYC ever week to get things accomplished.

‘Everything's ready. Just get your behind here!' she sends me.

 I replied "I'm on my way."

                The flight to New York City was dreadful. I attempted to sleep on the plane. That didn't work. I should have had a drink. Sadly I didn't speak to Kia other than what I had to. I was scared if I said anything the rest would flood out. My own thoughts were crowding my mind today.

He wasn't happy with me anymore.

                Press conference. Great. This is what I needed today. I know that's why were flew here this morning but I didn't want to do it now. I stood with a smile on my face and began to announce a huge project that I had been working on.

"We are excited to be here on the upper west side of Manhattan today to announce something that is pretty amazing for William Rast Couture." The cameras are adjusted, the lights are bright in my face and they were all listening. "ABC has enlisted William Rast Couture to provide the wardrobe for all of their network shows. Kia, Meredith, and I have been working closely with Robert Iger to get a special line out for their television shows. Every show on the network will be wearing William Rast. All the clothes will be available to purchase through the stores and the websites after each episode airs. There will be no preview of the line as some of you have questioned. The only way you will see the line is in the promotional pictures for each television show or during the actual broadcast of each episode. No one will get a preview. This is exclusive for the network."

This deal has been something in the works for quite some time however it was dotting the I's and crossing the T's before it was a done deal.

I stepped off that platform and stepped back into the reality of my life.

One Missed Call. Justin. One Voicemail. Justin.

"Hey babe, it's me. I fell back asleep this morning. I'm sorry I didn't get to see you before you left. I was in the studio late last night..."

                Yea I know you were in the studio late last night because I slept alone in that bed, until about an hour before I left.

"...I'm sorry I was an ass this morning. I was tired and I should have listened to you. I know there is something going on in that pretty little head of yours. When you get home, we need to talk. There are some things..."

I dropped the phone onto the bed without even listening to the rest of the message. I don't want to hear the words divorce come out of his mouth. Not now. Not after everything.

Kia walks into my bedroom and sits on the bed with me. "Mel. What is going on with you?"

The tears roll down my face and I can't stop them anymore. "Kia... I'm pregnant."

Her eyes, light up and she smiles, then she realizes that I'm not excited. "Those don't look like happy tears. Shouldn't you be ecstatic?"

"I would be if..." my voice begins to shake "...I didn't think my husband wanted to leave me."

"WHAT? What are you talking about?" she was shocked.

"He just isn't happy with me anymore."

"When did he tell you this?" she asked.

"Well he didn't... not exactly."

"Mel, honey that man loves you. I think your jumping to conclusions. Talk to him..."

"You didn't hear the lyrics he was singing. You didn't hear the pain in his voice. It's something I will never forget..."

"Maybe he has his own insecurities about everything that has happened..."

"Kia the line he kept saying over and over again while he was crying was heartbreaking." I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment.

"What was it? What was this line you are so focused on?"

"I've been thinking I should leave... Make it easier... When you find somebody... To love you better... The one I can't let go... And little piece of her... The girl I fell in love with... And never will deserve" my head drops. The tears continue to fall. I remember it word for word, every piece of pain with it.

"I think you need to talk to him... it sounds like he is blaming himself for all of this... and you are blaming yourself when in reality, it's neither of you that is a fault."

"Kia, I can't lose him."

‘You won't lose him. He is your husband... he loves you... this is hard on both of you. You are pregnant; he will want to know this. He will be happy with the news."

"I have to tell him I'm pregnant then in two months I will break his heart by telling him, oops sorry Hun I had yet another miscarriage..."

"He needs to know... regardless of what happens later."

"I know. I just wish I wouldn't cause him so much heartache. Maybe he would be better off without me. Maybe he has the right idea. Maybe I should leave... maybe I should be the bigger person."

"MELISSA... stop this. This isn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself. These things happen."

                I lied there next to Kia until I cried myself to sleep.

Justin

            Mason is the cutest little thing. He is getting so big. I remember the day that little man was born, all five pounds and four ounces of him. It all happened so fast. Just when I was getting used to being a husband, my best friend was getting married... then he was having a kid. I loved to spend time with him. If I were to never have children, I was happy with being this little man's uncle. The best damn uncle he could ever have.

            Watching him play in the back yard, running in circles was the cutest thing in the world. His curls look like mine but they were defiantly Anabelle's soft wavy curls that rested perfectly on his head.

"Uncle J..." he says as he tugs on my shirt.

"Yes, Mason."

"I hungry." He says

"What do you what to eat little man?"

"Shicken nugs."

I laugh at him, "Chicken nuggets?"

"Yes. yes. I want."

"Let's see what we got in the fridge. Aunt Mel isn't here so there probably isn't any food since she normally does the shopping." The refrigerator was damn near empty.

"I want Aunt Mel."

"So do I little man, so do I." Why am I such an ass?

"Where Aunt Mel?"

"She is working. You can see her tomorrow."

"I want nugs and Aunt Mel."

"Mason... where is your father..." I laughed. I said I would babysit for an hour. I have things that need to get done. I wanted to get back into the studio today and finish that track. "Let's go I will take you to McDonalds to get nuggets."

"Momma say no."

"Your momma isn't here and I'm in charge."

"I like Uncle J charge he not listen to mamma"

            I put him in his car seat in the back of my car and for a moment I can imagine my son sitting there in that very spot smiling at me the same way he is at me right at this moment.

God, I want that.

            "Fuck" the drive thru was closed. How can the drive thru at McDonalds be closed for Christ sakes.

"Uncle J say bad word."

Shit "Sorry Mason. I shouldn't have said that. It is a bad word." We have to walk into the McDonald's and there are at least five vehicles in tow behind me with cameras in them. Why they are still following me around I will never understand. I gave up my spot in this industry... I'm a nobody now, why are they still following me?

            I put Mason in my arms and covered him as we walked into the McDonalds.

"How does it feel to take care of Trace's child? Why don't you just have a baby of your own?"

Stupid fuckers have no idea.

When we finally get inside he says, "Uncle J, where you baby?"

The little man broke my heart. "Aunt Mel and I don't have a baby yet... one day."

We ordered his food and he sat in one of those wooden highchairs as I sat in the booth next to him eating our healthy food. My phone rings and I see that it is Mason's father.

"I thought you said you were going to be at home? You are not here." Trace says almost frantic.

"Calm down Trace. I didn't kidnap your son. He was hungry and with Melissa out of town, I have nothing to eat of course at home. You were supposed to be gone and hour... it's been almost three."

"You never used to be that person."

"What person?"

"The one that made his woman out to be the stereotypical wife... Go to the grocery store man..."

"I don't treat her like that... she likes to cook and things like that."

"Well how about you make her dinner sometime. You go to the grocery store."

"You make it sound like I make her do those things. I don't."

"I'm not saying you do, I guess you just expect it and she does it without thinking." They both were quiet before he asked, "Anyways, where are you?"

"McDonalds."

"Anabelle is going to kill you."

"Hey it was either this or he was going hungry. Pick your choice."

"And you want to have children. Ha." Just as he says it he realizes what he said. "I'm sorry man, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's ok. I know you were just joking."

"I was but I shouldn't joke about things like that."

"We will be there in like fifteen minutes. He is almost finished."

Trace was sitting on the front porch when we pulled up in the driveway.

"DADDY!" Mason says as he is trying to jump out of his car seat, still attached by the belts.

"Why are you sitting on the front steps?" I asked him.

"I needed the fresh air. Why do you look like shit?"

"I got no sleep last night." I sat down next to him as Mason played in the front yard.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Because I have been avoiding Melissa and staying in the studio until all hours of the night."

"Why exactly are you avoiding your wife?"

"Because I'm worthless and I don't need to prove that even more to her so I work all day and hide in the studio the rest of the time."

"What is going on with you guys?" Trace asks the million dollar question.

"I know that I keep pushing her away. I know that I shouldn't do that. I'm selfish. I should be thinking about her feelings. If I was the man she sees in me, I would set her free, I would let her find happiness elsewhere. Maybe she can find someone that can actually get her pregnant, someone that can love her better..." I stand and walk into the house not wanting to have this conversation with Trace.

He grabs up Mason and walks into the house, slamming the door. "Do you think that's what she really wants?"

"She hasn't said that... in those words."

"I think she wants the Justin she fell in love with back. I think she would be simply happy spending the rest of your lives together happy than to walk away from you because of this."

"She wants children, I can't give her that." He said as he walks out of another room, away from Trace.

"First of all... this isn't your fault. Second, you have other options."

            I didn't want to have this conversation with my wife, why does he think I wouldn't want to have it with him. I got up and left the room. The studio was where I was headed yet again. I could hide out in here and take my mind off of whatever was going on in my world. However the studio world seems to be the place I release the thoughts in my head. Sitting at the piano I feel like it's a place I can release those thoughts and not have to hurt someone with those words.

 "I keep pushing you away... But it never works... You just find a way back in ... Even when it hurts... The man that I should be... The one you see in me... Would never let you end up here... He'd set you free..."

Justin

                Saturday's... what do normal people do on Saturday's? What do men who treat everyone around them, including their wife, like shit on Saturday's? I could just lie here in this bed staring at the ceiling all day. I will get nothing accomplished however it could prevent me from making any more bad choices.

She wants the Justin she fell in love with back.

When did I become this person? When did I change into someone that even I don't recognize anymore? When did Trace become the expert at relationships?

The picture on the nightstand makes me smile. Her smile lights up my world. The day she became my wife was the greatest achievement in my life. No kind of award, no amount of money, no recognition in the world means more to me than her. If I had to give up everything, I would. I have to do what will make her happy, which in turn will make me happy.

I jump up out of that bed on a mission. I showered, dressed and headed out the door. I'm the only person that can change me. If I wanted to keep my wife and keep myself happy I had to change some things. I lift my phone out of my pocket and send a quick text.

Meet me for Breakfast in fifteen minutes @ the normal spot

                I sit and wait, nervously tapping my foot on the side of the chair. I wasn't nervous. Ok maybe I was nervous, but I knew that this was something I had to do and it wasn't about me in the end. It would be the best thing for everyone.

Ten minutes tick by and I still sit alone at the table, rimming my finger around the empty cup of coffee with my left hand. My wedding band reflecting in the sunlight that was rising up over Los Angeles makes me look up and when I do, I see that my guest was finally here.

"JC, I'm glad you came." I reached out my hand and shake his. "Please sit."

"This must be important for you to drag me out of bed at this hour to have breakfast.  Are you still not sleeping?" JC said with concern.

"I don't sleep well when my wife is out of town, but ... no I don't sleep well anymore at all."

 "What is going on with you? I haven't seen you in at least a couple weeks... you have disappeared..." he asks.

 "I don't feel like me anymore. I don't feel like the person I was when I met her or the person I was when she married me. I feel like I lost a piece of me. I don't know why she stays with me, or why she continues to stand next to me."

"She didn't make you change. She encouraged you to stay recording and performing music. You said you wanted a normal schedule... you wanted to be home more."

"I wanted to be home with my family, with my children. But it doesn't seem like that is going to happen."

"I thought you said..." he says confused. "I thought she was just keeping it quiet... because of... well you know everything that's happened."

"She lost the baby months ago. She isn't pregnant anymore, if you haven't noticed."

"I'm sorry J."

"I never thought I wanted children but it has become something I want so bad but yet I can't have it."

"It will happen. In the mean time, do what you love to do."

I felt my face start to light up. "That's why I have asked you here today. I have a proposition for you... if you're interested that is..."

 40 Minutes later...

                I drop the bags on the counter in the kitchen. "Phew..." I mumbled to myself. Who would have thought shopping would be a difficult task. I tried to remember to pick up some of Melissa's favorite things along with my favorite things... things to make meals with... maybe that's why I never do this without her. She does it like it's a simple, everyday task. Now the other big task is putting all this stuff away.

                Four hours from now, my wife will be walking through those front doors. I need to remind her how much I loved her. I need to remind her that I'm still the person I was when she married me. I need to tell her, that I need her.

And now... now I just wait...

Melissa

                The front door of the house never seemed as daunting as it does right now. I know that whatever is going to happen is going to happen right now. I couldn't put any of it off any longer. If he was going to leave me, I would rather it be now. Start the process of moving on now.

Turn the handle stupid, you can do this.

                The front door glides open and I drop my overnight bag onto the floor in front of the staircase. His phone was lying in the entry way next to his keys on the table ringing. I reached for it just as it stopped. The screen blinking with alerts, eight missed calls and twenty seven emails. Looks like Justin disappeared from the world again today. I walk further into the entry way and I see Justin out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting at the grand piano in the formal living room. I haven't seen him play that piano in a very long time.

Dressed casually, the love of my life is in his typical William Rast jeans and a plaid button down with his eyes closed singing every lyric... every word that sends pain right through my heart. He hands moving ever so slightly over the keys as they project a soft melody and his voice echoes through the whole house.

"I'm trying to understand... Why you won't go... I've been trying to figure out... How you love me so... The one that who breaks your heart... The hands that let you fall... The man you're holding on to... Would give up... forgetting us ..."

                He is going through so much pain. He really is blaming himself for all of this. He thinks that he isn't worth me... what he doesn't realize is, I need him. I would never leave him. The tears start rolling down my face.  He begins to sing another verse however his emotions are attached to every word that he sang now.

"Late at night I watch you sleep... Breathe you in... And I see... I need you... I see... I'm no good for you... I'd leave... But I just can't do it... So I go on knowing I'm wrong to choose... I need you..."

He has zone out and is sucked into this song. I walked slowly over to the piano, sitting next to him on the bench as he continues to play without noticing me next to him... I begin to sing in a whisper, "Boy can't you see.... that I need, I need you." My voice starts to climb and begins to echo through the house. He smiles when he sees me there but I don't stop singing. "Can't you see... that I'm in love with you? I'd leave... but I just can't do it... I just go on even if it's wrong to choose... I need you."

The tears are streaming down both of our faces, our eyes are red. He takes my face into his hands and exhales a deep breath as he attempts to speak. "I love you but if you are not happy, please... please don't stay in this marriage on my account. I will manage to pick up the pieces at some point."

My husband just said the one thing I hoped I would never hear him say. It was time to be honest about everything. "I don't want out of this marriage. I just want my Justin back. I want that carefree man I met on the airplane... I want the man that used to sing to me, I want the man that just loved me unconditionally. I want the man that I fell in love with. I can do without all this stress of children, without the avoidance of you, I want you. Plain and simple. If we end up never being able to have children then that is what is supposed to be. I love you."

"I thought you weren't happy with me anymore. I really did. I thought that you were drifting away because I couldn't give you what you wanted." He says painfully.

"All I have ever wanted was you. Nothing else matters."

"I'm sorry I have been an ass. I'm sorry I have been so distant. I'm just sorry." He says as the tears roll down his face. "I love you."

"I'm sorry for not talking to you. You're my husband... I should have just asked you what was wrong. I just thought... I thought you were pushing me away because I couldn't have children with you."

"I would never leave you. If we can't have children, we won't. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life, in my arms, or in my heart." He takes his arms and wraps them around me, tightly. Tightening the grip as he says, "I love you. I love you. I need you."

                As I look at him, I see a little piece of the Justin that I had always known shine through. I have waiting months to see that piece of him again. Marriage is about dealing with the rough patches and enjoying the good ones.

"I have something to tell you." I say as I step ever so slightly back from him. "I don't even know how to say this..."

He takes my hand, "What is it babe, whatever it is we will deal with it."

You would think because I have done this a couple times before it would be a little easier but it's not. Staring down at our hands intertwined, I his wedding band. The same place it has been for almost five years now. No matter what life throws at us, he is still my husband. He loves me. "I'm pregnant."

He smiles, and then starts to tear up again, "When did you find out?"

"That was not the reaction I was hoping for."

"I'm sorry. We have been through this. It's hard to get super excited early on."

"I know that's why I haven't said anything... I found out on Tuesday."

"Shit." He shakes his head, angry at himself. "The night you said you had something serious to talk about and I avoided you and didn't come out of the studio..." he stands up and is so angry at himself, "Fuck, I'm a jackass."

"Justin. Stop. It's all ok. I kept this from you for days..."

"Have you seen the doctor? How far along are you?"

"Eight weeks." I said softly.

"So we have a little while before the safe zone."

"I don't think there is a safe zone with me..." Tears start to rolls down my face, "I don't know how I'm going to handle this if something happens this time. I don't think I can handle that heartbreak again.

He kneels down in front of me as I sit on that bench. "I'll be here to pick up the pieces if something happens. I'm not going anywhere."

"I jinx us, you know that right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember the meltdown I had when the doctor told me I was pregnant and it ended up being Ashley pregnant."

Justin's face starts to tweak. "Ugh, don't mention her name."

"Sorry." I laughed, "She was a nightmare."

"Yes, she was....." he looks at me and smiles, "I have some news as well... "

"Spill it."

 "I'm leaving Tennman." He says it as it was nothing, like it wasn't even a question that he should be making this decision.

My face dropped, "What do you mean you're leaving Tennman?"

"I'm not a nine to five office kind of guy. I'm going to keep Tennman however I won't be going into the office everyday... I'm not that person."

"Thank god." I said with a sigh of relief. "Maybe I will have the version of Justin back that I love so much." I was ecstatic with his choice. "Who is going to take over?"

"JC." He said with a sense of accomplishment.

"How does JC feel about being in the office every day?"

"Well things are going to be a little different for him... but he wanted to settle down for a while. He doesn't want to travel as much. I was going to wait for you to get home and talk about it but honestly... I just knew no matter what I wasn't going to be happy doing that every day. I want to be back on stage. I want to be back entertaining. That's where I belong and that's where you belong... "

"So let's put together albums and get back out there."

"That's exactly what I want."

                Right there at the piano he finished the song that he had been working on for nearly a month. He immediately went to the studio and recorded the vocals. I had my Justin back.

Justin

                Saturday's... what do normal people do on Saturday's? What do men who treat everyone around them, including their wife, like shit on Saturday's? I could just lie here in this bed staring at the ceiling all day. I will get nothing accomplished however it could prevent me from making any more bad choices.

She wants the Justin she fell in love with back.

When did I become this person? When did I change into someone that even I don't recognize anymore? When did Trace become the expert at relationships?

The picture on the nightstand makes me smile. Her smile lights up my world. The day she became my wife was the greatest achievement in my life. No kind of award, no amount of money, no recognition in the world means more to me than her. If I had to give up everything, I would. I have to do what will make her happy, which in turn will make me happy.

I jump up out of that bed on a mission. I showered, dressed and headed out the door. I'm the only person that can change me. If I wanted to keep my wife and keep myself happy I had to change some things. I lift my phone out of my pocket and send a quick text.

Meet me for Breakfast in fifteen minutes @ the normal spot

                I sit and wait, nervously tapping my foot on the side of the chair. I wasn't nervous. Ok maybe I was nervous, but I knew that this was something I had to do and it wasn't about me in the end. It would be the best thing for everyone.

Ten minutes tick by and I still sit alone at the table, rimming my finger around the empty cup of coffee with my left hand. My wedding band reflecting in the sunlight that was rising up over Los Angeles makes me look up and when I do, I see that my guest was finally here.

"JC, I'm glad you came." I reached out my hand and shake his. "Please sit."

"This must be important for you to drag me out of bed at this hour to have breakfast.  Are you still not sleeping?" JC said with concern.

"I don't sleep well when my wife is out of town, but ... no I don't sleep well anymore at all."

 "What is going on with you? I haven't seen you in at least a couple weeks... you have disappeared..." he asks.

 "I don't feel like me anymore. I don't feel like the person I was when I met her or the person I was when she married me. I feel like I lost a piece of me. I don't know why she stays with me, or why she continues to stand next to me."

"She didn't make you change. She encouraged you to stay recording and performing music. You said you wanted a normal schedule... you wanted to be home more."

"I wanted to be home with my family, with my children. But it doesn't seem like that is going to happen."

"I thought you said..." he says confused. "I thought she was just keeping it quiet... because of... well you know everything that's happened."

"She lost the baby months ago. She isn't pregnant anymore, if you haven't noticed."

"I'm sorry J."

"I never thought I wanted children but it has become something I want so bad but yet I can't have it."

"It will happen. In the mean time, do what you love to do."

I felt my face start to light up. "That's why I have asked you here today. I have a proposition for you... if you're interested that is..."

 40 Minutes later...

                I drop the bags on the counter in the kitchen. "Phew..." I mumbled to myself. Who would have thought shopping would be a difficult task. I tried to remember to pick up some of Melissa's favorite things along with my favorite things... things to make meals with... maybe that's why I never do this without her. She does it like it's a simple, everyday task. Now the other big task is putting all this stuff away.

                Four hours from now, my wife will be walking through those front doors. I need to remind her how much I loved her. I need to remind her that I'm still the person I was when she married me. I need to tell her, that I need her.

And now... now I just wait...

Melissa

                The front door of the house never seemed as daunting as it does right now. I know that whatever is going to happen is going to happen right now. I couldn't put any of it off any longer. If he was going to leave me, I would rather it be now. Start the process of moving on now.

Turn the handle stupid, you can do this.

                The front door glides open and I drop my overnight bag onto the floor in front of the staircase. His phone was lying in the entry way next to his keys on the table ringing. I reached for it just as it stopped. The screen blinking with alerts, eight missed calls and twenty seven emails. Looks like Justin disappeared from the world again today. I walk further into the entry way and I see Justin out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting at the grand piano in the formal living room. I haven't seen him play that piano in a very long time.

Dressed casually, the love of my life is in his typical William Rast jeans and a plaid button down with his eyes closed singing every lyric... every word that sends pain right through my heart. He hands moving ever so slightly over the keys as they project a soft melody and his voice echoes through the whole house.

"I'm trying to understand... Why you won't go... I've been trying to figure out... How you love me so... The one that who breaks your heart... The hands that let you fall... The man you're holding on to... Would give up... forgetting us ..."

                He is going through so much pain. He really is blaming himself for all of this. He thinks that he isn't worth me... what he doesn't realize is, I need him. I would never leave him. The tears start rolling down my face.  He begins to sing another verse however his emotions are attached to every word that he sang now.

"Late at night I watch you sleep... Breathe you in... And I see... I need you... I see... I'm no good for you... I'd leave... But I just can't do it... So I go on knowing I'm wrong to choose... I need you..."

He has zone out and is sucked into this song. I walked slowly over to the piano, sitting next to him on the bench as he continues to play without noticing me next to him... I begin to sing in a whisper, "Boy can't you see.... that I need, I need you." My voice starts to climb and begins to echo through the house. He smiles when he sees me there but I don't stop singing. "Can't you see... that I'm in love with you? I'd leave... but I just can't do it... I just go on even if it's wrong to choose... I need you."

The tears are streaming down both of our faces, our eyes are red. He takes my face into his hands and exhales a deep breath as he attempts to speak. "I love you but if you are not happy, please... please don't stay in this marriage on my account. I will manage to pick up the pieces at some point."

My husband just said the one thing I hoped I would never hear him say. It was time to be honest about everything. "I don't want out of this marriage. I just want my Justin back. I want that carefree man I met on the airplane... I want the man that used to sing to me, I want the man that just loved me unconditionally. I want the man that I fell in love with. I can do without all this stress of children, without the avoidance of you, I want you. Plain and simple. If we end up never being able to have children then that is what is supposed to be. I love you."

"I thought you weren't happy with me anymore. I really did. I thought that you were drifting away because I couldn't give you what you wanted." He says painfully.

"All I have ever wanted was you. Nothing else matters."

"I'm sorry I have been an ass. I'm sorry I have been so distant. I'm just sorry." He says as the tears roll down his face. "I love you."

"I'm sorry for not talking to you. You're my husband... I should have just asked you what was wrong. I just thought... I thought you were pushing me away because I couldn't have children with you."

"I would never leave you. If we can't have children, we won't. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life, in my arms, or in my heart." He takes his arms and wraps them around me, tightly. Tightening the grip as he says, "I love you. I love you. I need you."

                As I look at him, I see a little piece of the Justin that I had always known shine through. I have waiting months to see that piece of him again. Marriage is about dealing with the rough patches and enjoying the good ones.

"I have something to tell you." I say as I step ever so slightly back from him. "I don't even know how to say this..."

He takes my hand, "What is it babe, whatever it is we will deal with it."

You would think because I have done this a couple times before it would be a little easier but it's not. Staring down at our hands intertwined, I his wedding band. The same place it has been for almost five years now. No matter what life throws at us, he is still my husband. He loves me. "I'm pregnant."

He smiles, and then starts to tear up again, "When did you find out?"

"That was not the reaction I was hoping for."

"I'm sorry. We have been through this. It's hard to get super excited early on."

"I know that's why I haven't said anything... I found out on Tuesday."

"Shit." He shakes his head, angry at himself. "The night you said you had something serious to talk about and I avoided you and didn't come out of the studio..." he stands up and is so angry at himself, "Fuck, I'm a jackass."

"Justin. Stop. It's all ok. I kept this from you for days..."

"Have you seen the doctor? How far along are you?"

"Eight weeks." I said softly.

"So we have a little while before the safe zone."

"I don't think there is a safe zone with me..." Tears start to rolls down my face, "I don't know how I'm going to handle this if something happens this time. I don't think I can handle that heartbreak again.

He kneels down in front of me as I sit on that bench. "I'll be here to pick up the pieces if something happens. I'm not going anywhere."

"I jinx us, you know that right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember the meltdown I had when the doctor told me I was pregnant and it ended up being Ashley pregnant."

Justin's face starts to tweak. "Ugh, don't mention her name."

"Sorry." I laughed, "She was a nightmare."

"Yes, she was....." he looks at me and smiles, "I have some news as well... "

"Spill it."

 "I'm leaving Tennman." He says it as it was nothing, like it wasn't even a question that he should be making this decision.

My face dropped, "What do you mean you're leaving Tennman?"

"I'm not a nine to five office kind of guy. I'm going to keep Tennman however I won't be going into the office everyday... I'm not that person."

"Thank god." I said with a sigh of relief. "Maybe I will have the version of Justin back that I love so much." I was ecstatic with his choice. "Who is going to take over?"

"JC." He said with a sense of accomplishment.

"How does JC feel about being in the office every day?"

"Well things are going to be a little different for him... but he wanted to settle down for a while. He doesn't want to travel as much. I was going to wait for you to get home and talk about it but honestly... I just knew no matter what I wasn't going to be happy doing that every day. I want to be back on stage. I want to be back entertaining. That's where I belong and that's where you belong... "

"So let's put together albums and get back out there."

"That's exactly what I want."

                Right there at the piano he finished the song that he had been working on for nearly a month. He immediately went to the studio and recorded the vocals. I had my Justin back.

Melissa

The doctor's office is eerie quiet for a Monday morning. The room is full of patients and they are all staring at us, whispering. It's quiet embarrassing. Justin and I just sit there quietly trying not to do anything that will draw more attention to this side of the room.

It's been over a month since I found out I was pregnant, again. I have really no expectations at all. I can't get myself super excited for something that could very well be pulled out from under me. I couldn't let that pressure be put on myself again. As far as I was aware, I was still pregnant and everything was on course. I had missed my last appointment because we decided to take a random vacation. It was very irresponsible of us however we needed to get away. We needed to breathe for a moment and just live life for what it was. We never stopped what we normally would have to prevent something from happening during this pregnancy. I didn't change a thing. My work schedule if anything got busier. The fashion line for ABC was going smoothly but it was the long nights in the recording studio that were different.

It was amazing to be back in that booth singing again. Seeing Justin, light up again when a song comes together was something I feared would never happen again. I was glad to have that Justin back. I know that I have been in this industry for several years however it's still weird to see my face on the cover of a magazine or even inside of one. The paparazzi pictures are always my favorite. They catch you at the most random moments. Who really wants a picture of me pumping gas? Seriously doesn't everyone do that?

Justin looks antsy as well. He is fidgeting with his pants. What was he doing? If we weren't in a doctors office I would think he was getting turned on and adjusting himself to prevent anyone from seeing it. "Babe." I asked but was interrupted by a very loud noise.

"Step Inside, walk this way... " Starts to blare... "You and me babe, hey hey hey hey hey.... Love is like a bomb... baby c'mon get it on..." Very loudly starts playing inside my purse. Shit of course it would be my phone. Of course it would be a ringtone that catches everyone's attention in the room, and it would be extremely loud. I couldn't find it anywhere in my purse so the phone continues to ring... I was going to hurt him for putting that ringtone as his ringer ID. My face turns beat red as the entire room is completely focused on us now. I finally found the phone after it rang three or four times. I silenced it before I even thought about answering it... then a moment later I get a text. "IT'S TIME!!!!!"

"Oh my god." I said out loud as everyone was continues staring at me.

Justin looks over at me cocking his head to the side, "What?"

I whisper, "It's time!"

"What?"

"It's time!" I say with the biggest grin on my face.

His face drops, "That was Steve?"

I nodded my head to insure him that it was time.

I sent a quick text back and shoved the phone back in my purse, on silent this time...

"@ the Dr's. I will be there asap. BTW, ‘pour some sugar on me' just played very loudly four times while I was searching for the damn phone in the bottom of my purse. Thanks for that : ) "

"Melissa Timberlake" The nurse announces as she steps out of her office area, in the most hideous scrubs I had ever seen, motioning for me to follow her. "The doctor is ready to see you. Follow me." Justin has a tight grip on my hand as we walk down the long hallway to the empty room.

                My leg starts to shake uncontrollably as I sit on that cold exam table. I have damn near panic attacks when I walk into this doctor's office. I never know what to expect when I walk through those doors or what my life will be like when I walk out of the doors.

In walks the doctor with his perfect crisp white coat.

"How are you feeling?"

"Pregnant." I joked.

"That's a good sign, believe it or not...." He puts on a set of gloves and begins to look at the screen as he moves the ultrasound around my slightly swollen stomach. Things were different this time. I have never had my stomach swollen at all. I never got past that stage where I started to show. I had just passed the threshold of four months.

"Dr. Craddock I don't know how much bad news I can handle so please don't look at me like that... I need you to be straight with me. Just tell me." I said to him, with a panic in my voice.

He looks back at the monitor. "There." He says as he turns up the volume on the monitor. "Two Heartbeats."

                Justin and I both look at each other and start to cry. Our baby's heartbeat, it sounded like a galloping horse. It was a sound that was better than and song I had ever heard before.

As the next words come out of his mouth, my jaw drops.

Justin

                I hate doctor's offices. I hate the idea of them. I hate this doctor's office specifically. We always seem to walk out of this office with bad news. I was ready for something else. I was ready for anything other than bad news.

                Melissa is sitting quietly next to me. I'm sure she is over analyzing everything that may or may not happen today. She has gotten good at over analyzing things. She even does that in the studio now, which I have to break her from. Things can't be over thought in the studio, that's when creativity flies and analyzing everything is not a good thing.

                Thinking about the studio only makes me think about two nights ago. We had been in there for hours upon hours working on different things. The sun had already gone down and came back up, but we didn't even notice. Time is something that doesn't matter when you are in that place. We had recorded the last section of the song and I remember gently pushing her up against the wall next to the microphone that we had been using. I had to have her lips on mine. I raised her hands above her head, latching her fingers to intertwine with mine, kissing her deeply; I had been craving her all day. I wasn't expecting her to flip around and shove me against the wall and take advantage of me in my tired state. As if it took much to convince me. I loved her spontaneity. I loved that she didn't care where we were. She wanted the same thing I wanted and it was going to happen regardless of where we were in the house.

                I adjusted myself. I was seriously turned on just by the memories of that night. I snap out of that memory by hearing, "...you and me babe, hey hey hey hey hey...." playing very loudly from Melissa's purse. I laugh because I knew exactly what it was the moment I heard it. Steve had changed that ringtone in her phone. They had history about the song and he said that if she wouldn't change it to that than he would... and he did. She left her phone on the counter yesterday during dinner and he grabbed it up and changed it.

                She was so embarrassed that everyone was already staring at her, now she was ever more embarrassed. I kissed her forehead and whispered, "Breathe. I love you."

"Melissa Timberlake." The nurse called, I loved hearing my last name attached with her name. We walked down the hallway to the exam room. I had to be the strong one because if something has happened, she is going to fall to pieces. I had to mentally prepare myself to be ok with the worst news possible.

                The doctor walks into the room and acknowledges us both, then begins to fill out her exam chart. He pulls over a sonogram machine next to the exam table.

"This is going to be cold." He says to her. He drops a large portion of clear gel onto her stomach that is swollen just enough to notice. He doesn't say anything to us. He keeps moving it from side to side and up and down, never looking at us.

                I almost wish he wasn't looking at us now because the look on his face is telling us there is news. But his reaction isn't giving us any hint as to what he is about to say.

 "Dr. Craddock" Melissa finally speaks. "I don't know how much bad news I can handle so please don't look at me like that... I need you to be straight with me. Just tell me." I take her hand into mine. We have been through this time and time again. We knew what it felt like to be handed bad news.

He looks back at the monitor. "There." He says as he turns up the volume on the monitor. "Two heartbeats."

"Does that mean the baby has a heart murmur because I had that when I was born?" She asked.

"No, it doesn't mean the baby has a murmur....  Congratulations its twins!" the doctor confirmed. "And they are both doing fine. Healthy in fact. I think that you can count your blessings with this pregnancy. Congratulations."

 "Twins." I say as a statement and not a question. "Twins."

                Who would have thought we could have twins. We couldn't even have one, now we are going to have two.

Justin

                We take the alternate exit out of the doctor's office and find our car in the parking lot. Climbing in the car I feel the excitement become too much. I start to scream, then cry. I look over at Melissa who is in a complete flood of tears. We have both prepared ourselves for heartbreak, instead we are overjoyed.

"Twins." I say again.

"Twins." She says kind of shocked as well.

"Wow, I never expected that."

"Well it was always an option." She said sarcastically. "My mother is a twin, my sisters are twins, my mother had twin aunts... it's on my side of the family everywhere."

"I just... wow... I'm very excited at the idea of twins. I'm glad we walked out of that office with good news..."

"I feel like a weight has been lighted. I actually did something right."

"You always do everything right. It's just meant to be this way." I leaned across the seat to kiss her. This day couldn't get any better... then it hit me. "Oh my god. We have to get to the hospital."

"Oh shit. I totally forgot with everything that just happened... but you don't have to rush."

"Why not? Steve said it was time?"

"Have you ever waited on someone that was having a baby?"

"Well... no. I showed up for Mason just an hour before he was born."

"It could take hours, a lot of hours. I was with Anabelle all day before your flight came in."

"I remember..."

"Well, let's go driver. But be careful you have precious cargo in the car now."

"Honey, you have always been precious cargo."

                We sat in silence for a couple minutes, reflecting on the news we just got. Finally we got some good news... actually this news was beyond good. I honestly had convinced myself that it just wasn't going to happen at all for us.

                Cedar Sinai is one of those places that always have a couple photographers camped out there hoping to get some kind of story. Today would be no different. Sitting in the parking garage I see one gentleman attempting to hide, yet he forgets that his cell phone is lighting up the entire area that he is in. Real smooth.

"We need to call your mother... and mine...We should do it before we go into the hospital."

                I reached in my pocket and place my phone in her hands. "Call your mother." She has the phone in her hands and is just fidgeting with it. "Mel, is there something wrong?"

‘I just can't give her this news and take it away from her... again"

"I think she would want to hear this news from you before the world knows."

"The press has been saying I was pregnant since the moment we met. My mother doesn't believe those tabloids anymore."

"I understand but ... Mel... the doctor said it was all ok now. This is actually happening."

"I know..." she says with pain in her voice.

"I know what you're going through... really I do but I think we should run with this. Take our chances."

"I know... I'm ecstatic about everything... it's just a lot."

I take the phone out of her hand and dial the number. The phone rings... "Hello" a voice that sounds very similar to my wife's answers the line.

"Ellen. It's Justin. How are you?" I feel like I am talking to my own mother. She makes me that comfortable. I clicked on the speaker phone.

"I'm doing pretty well. How is my son doing, and my daughter?" She asks

"Were pretty amazing, we have some news to share with you..."

"Justin you know I'm not a suspense kind of person... spit it out..." he demands.

"You are just like your daughter..." I laugh. "We... we are pregnant." I blurted.

The line gets quiet, really quiet.

"Ellen?" I asked a little scared.

"I'm here..." she says with a shaky tearful voice. "I'm just so happy."

"There's more." Melissa says.

"What could be better news than that?"

"Twins." Melissa and I blurted at the same time.

"Seriously, twins? As in two babies?" She asks

"Yes, as in two babies' mother." Melissa adds.

"‘Wow." It's all she could say, she was stunned. "Oh my god. Yay!"

                I take her hand into mind and kiss her forehead. "We wanted to tell you before the possibility of the press getting a hold of the details... We really can't talk long Steve and Kia is having their baby today!"

"Make sure to send me pictures of their baby! I am so excited! Twins... two more grandchildren. I love you both... talk to you soon."

Melissa

That man is going to make you happy for the rest of your life

                John's words start to flutter my mind. He was right, he was right about everything. That's all I could think about. Maybe it was his way of keeping a piece of him with me, or maybe he knew something we didn't at the time but I wish I could fly to him right now and tell him

 Remember the dream that you both want will come true, even after heartbreak it will eventually come true.

                I start to cry when reality sets in. He won't be there for the birth of my children. He will never get to see them grow... their first steps... their first words... They will never know one of the best men that I ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"Babe, are you okay?" Justin asks as he steps over to wrap his arms around me.

"I'm thinking about John..." I whisper in his ear.

"He was right..." he says.

"That's exactly what I was thinking about. He was right about you... he was right about the babies..."

"I miss him tremendously."

"He was an amazing man. I think I saw a lot of his qualities in you."

"Awe. If I'm even close to the man he was, I'm good with that."

                He keeps his grip around me as we stand near the back of the room waiting on the nurses to finish getting Kia adjusted in her new room. We had them move her from the one room because it was getting to much attention with Justin and I being there because we are not going anywhere. We will be here for the long haul.

"This is just like Justin to make this about him..." Steve says as he walks over to Justin and they do that typical man handshake hug thing. "How did the doctor's appointment go?"

                We both look at each other and smile, "Very well." I said.

"Mel..." Kia asked.

I rushed over to that side of the room, "Yes." I help adjust her pillow.

"Mel, stop." She is pushing me away from helping her. "I want to know what happened at the doctor's appointment today. Forget about me for a minute, I'm good."

"Let's wait till we are alone in here before I say anything." I said softly.

                Kia sits up as quickly as she can. "EVERYONE OUT!!!" She demanded. Then she added, "Please." With a smile on her face.

                Once the room cleared Justin walked over to stand next to me. "We are still pregnant. We are not only still pregnant... we are having twins!"

"Shut the fuck up!" She starts to hysterically cry. "Finally." She whispers to herself.

"Everything is fine and the babies are due on our wedding anniversary."

"What a way to celebrate five years of marriage. Pretty great!"

"I know. It's perfect." He says all cocky.

Justin interrupts by making a very loud coughing noise, "I planned it that way... it was the perfect gift."

                We all laugh at that comment. Gosh I loved that man.

                As each hour passes we get more anxious. We all wanted to meet this little bundle of joy. It's been nine long months and it was time to celebrate the birth of the new generation. Twelve grueling and painful hours later we are standing in the waiting room with most of Kia and Steve's family. The baby was going to be here any moment now and the excitement grew as each minute ticked by.

                Trace and Anabelle step off the elevator and Mason runs towards me.

"Aunt Mel!!!!" he yells.

"Hey little man." I say as he jumps into my arms. "I miss you."

"Be easy!"I say to him without even thinking that it was out loud. "I missed you to little man. What have you been up to?"

"I play with Daddy... but daddy mean."

"Ohh really." I look over at Trace who is laughing. "Do I need to have a talk with your daddy?"

"Yes." He says quickly then turns to Justin. "I want nugs! You get me nugs..."

Ananbelle quickly hears what he is saying as Justin turns and pretends to punch Mason in the stomach. "You're going to get me into trouble Mason... shhh!"

                Mason squirms to get down and starts to talk to everyone in the room. He wanted to know and see what everyone was doing.

                Trace looks at Justin and I both and said, "Why does he have to be easy? Is there some news you would like to share?"

                Justin looks over at me, smiles then turns back to Trace. "Nope. Sorry."

"Justin Randall..." he voice gets loud. "We have been friends for far too long for you to attempt to lie to me. I see right through you. SPIT IT OUT MISTER!"

"Trace this isn't the place." Justin says as he looks around to see if everyone is still staring.

Trace's face lights up and I can see that he has figured it out, "So, it's... official now?"

I nod at him and he runs over to hug me. I whisper in his year, "Twins."

He steps back quickly, "Seriously?"

I shake my head yes and walks over to Justin and he grabs a hold of him. I can still see the friendship and the love that they have had for each other over the years in their embrace. It was remarkable that he has stood by Justin through everything. I love Trace even more for being that one person Justin has always had by his side.

Suddenly the entire floor can hear the cry of a baby.

Kia's mother laughs and says, "That's defiantly Kia's child."

We all start laughing because she is a bit of an attention seeker if no one has noticed. She loves to have the focus all on her, but in a non-cocky kind of way. We loved her for that.

We got the ok to go back to the room and there sat Kia in bed with her baby in her arms. A tiny pink hat resting on top of her head, Kia's gorgeous hair color and Steve's blue eyes.

Kia looks at Steven then says, "Everyone... this is our daughter, Sophia."

Justin

                I spent most of the day in the studio today. I finished a couple tracks that I actually think are going to be great for the album, and I spent the rest of the day working on Elizabeth's tracks but now, now it's time to go home to my wife.

                My mother had dropped off a package for us at the studio today before she flew home. I haven't opened it yet but I am assuming that it's something for the babies... Babies... wow! It's still hard to believe.

"See everyone tomorrow. I'm out." I expressed throwing my laptop in the bag and slinging it over my shoulder.

"What do you mean you're out?" Elizabeth says.

"Exactly how I said it. I'm going home to my wife to have dinner..."

"Why do you always run home to her?" She said disgusted.

"We have had this discussion before. You will show respect for my wife. I don't know what your problem is but the last time I checked I was the one in charge of your record label. I'm the one that can pull this from underneath you."

"I can go elsewhere and record an album. You said yourself that I had the talent."

"If you want out of your contract that's fine. But none of the other labels are going to spend six months recording one fucking track for you. If you can handle the pressure they are going to drop you in a heartbeat. I have spent a lot of my own money to get your album off the ground..."

"I'm not saying I want to leave..." she said before gasping as if it made her day worse that I was leaving.

"Well then I suggest you show some respect for the others in the room that can make or break your career."

She picks up her brand new shiny patent leather Mui Mui bag, "Whatever if you are leaving, I am done for the day as well."  She walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Ugh." I was frustrated with her. "She has got to change her attitude. I will not put someone like her out in the industry... her head will only get bigger."

JC just looked at me. He didn't know what to say.

I looked at him frustrated, "You know I'm right. We have met people like her before... we know what it will turn out like. I almost don't want to have my name attached to her at. Talent or not she is bitchy non-stop."

JC just looks at me, and then finally says "I think the problem is... you."

"WHAT? What the hell did I do to her?" I snapped back.

"Justin... unfortunately I think she is interested in you."

"I would hope so. I have only invested way too much money into her record."

JC laughs, "I think you have married too long. She seems to think in her own fantasy world that you two belong together."

"That's crazy, C."

"We have seen some crazy things over the years but meeting someone that thinks they already belong with you is something we have seen many times before." He laughs.

"She knows I'm happily married."

"That makes it more of a challenge for her. I have been noticing the little signs for a while. I was sure you were catching onto it."

"I never noticed. When I walk in this room I'm in full on work mode..."

He interrupts me, "And the moment you mention your wife, her attitude goes from irritated to irate. I'm telling you that is what's wrong with her."

I set back down on the chair. "I never saw it... it makes sense now that it is brought to my attention but I never noticed any of those things."

                I was happily married. It took me thirty years to find her, but when I did it was worth every heartbreak I have gone through to be where I am today. I rushed into the house, wanting to find her quickly. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and make her the happiest woman alive.

                I found her, in our bedroom in a tank top and jeans. Her skin is still tan from our vacation. Her back is sleek and sexy. I walked up behind her planting kisses on her shoulder and up her neck... and then I see what she was doing. My mood is instantly changed.

"Your packing... where are you going?"

She turns around, "There is something major going on at the William Rast office in the New York so I have to get there."

"Damn it."

"What?" she asked.

"I wanted to spend some alone time with you. I rearranged studio time so I could be at home every night this week."

"I'm sorry. This just came up about an hour ago. If I don't get there who knows what will happen."

"Why can't Trace go?"

"Because it's the couture line... and Anabelle's shooting this week so he has Mason the majority of the time. Kia just had Sophia, she can't go."

"I could go with you... let me see if..."

"Justin- I will be fine. I will be gone a couple days... I think I want to see my mom on the way home but I will just be a couple days."

"I want to see your mother as well. I will book us both a flight."

She turned to look at me, "Your studio time is crucial right now. I understand that, I can do this myself."

He pulls me closer to him, "I know you can do this yourself, but I want to do it with you. I want to go."

"Ok how about you finish the studio session then meet me in Pittsburgh?"

"That sounds like an okay plan!"

"Just okay?" She joked.

I reach my arm around her back pulling her closer to my body, my hand rested right above the curve of her amazing ass that I wanted to have in my hands. I nestled my nose into the curve of her neck breathing on her shoulder before I stepped back and placed my hands on her stomach. Kneeling down to her stomach level, I press my lips against her swollen abdomen.

Melissa

                It was early. Too early. The sun wasn't even close to being up but the flight was the only one I could get on and still have some daylight left in the day. I would hate to get to NYC and make everyone stay super late. But if the problem was as big as they claim, we will all be putting in all nighters.

                I climbed out of bed and headed for coffee. This day can't even be remotely started without coffee. I stood in the empty kitchen thinking how crazy it was going to be this time next year. Two little babies running around laughing and screaming... could I really handle two babies?

                My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. I run through the kitchen and into the entry way where I had laid it coming down the stairs.

"Melissa... Where are you?" Meredith says in a panic.

"I'm at home. Getting ready to get dressed. What's going on?"

"I thought you had a redeye flight?" She said, irritated.

"No, the one redeye flight was booked. I had to get the one flying out at 4:30."

"Okay... I guess this will have to work."

"What exactly is going on?" I was confused and getting no answers.

"It will be fine until you get here? Have a safe flight"

                What was going on? This was not like Meredith to keep me out of the loop on things. I really hope the problem isn't bigger than I can handle right now.

I crept back up the stairs to jump in the shower and get ready. Justin was half awake when I walked out of the shower.

"I don't want you to leave..." he says.

I climbed on the bed, climbing on top of him. "Two days, I will see you in two days."

"I want to wake up and smell you in the morning air. I want to go to sleep at the end up the night spelling like lilacs because you held on to me tight..."

"Babe, this isn't easy for me either. I hate waking up to an empty bed but we have to suck it up sometimes... it's not all about us."

"It's not? Crap I didn't get that memo..." he says yawning. I could tell he was still tired.

I smiled at him before leaning my head down on his chest. "I love you. I'm going to miss you. Go back to bed, it's early. I will see you in a couple days." I kissed him on the forehead and climbed back out of bed.     I slipped on a pair of jeans that I had worn many times but this time, they don't fit correctly. The bump has officially gotten to the point where I can tell a difference in the way they fit. I place my hand over the bump and I feel goose bumps rise all over my body. This was really happening.

How was I going to hid this from the world?

                I didn't have a choice, I had to get moving. I was placing a few items for Justin in the bedroom and around the house when the car arriving beeping the horn like it was the middle of the day. I opened the door waving my hand, acknowledging that I heard him hoping he wouldn't wake up the entire Hollywood Hills. One last glance in the mirror and I wrap the jacket around me tying the ribbon loosely hoping it wouldn't be that noticeable.

                "LAX?" The driver asked.

"Yes. I need departures."

"We will be there in twenty minutes." He said.

I couldn't sleep for anything on the plane. I sat going through emails for hours. I knew that this day was going to be bad, I didn't however know the realm of it.

‘Let the rumors start flying', that was the subject on the email from Jenny, the new PR assistant.  Every photographer this morning had taken photos and sent them to press before I even stepped off the plane. I thought I had done a good job at keeping the jacket closed, but I must have let it slip out of my hands for a split second because they had the perfect angle of the money shot and they got it.

I threw my head back on the seat, frustrated. I wanted to enjoy this time with Justin. This was something we should be celebrating and not hiding from everyone. The more I thought about it the more I didn't care. If they wanted to write the stories and print the pictures that was fine, I would tell the world when I was ready to share the news.  

I walked into the terminal at JFK to a swarm of paparazzi. There had to be at least thirty cameras in my face. Not one of them would move out of my way. I stood there with glaring lights in my face until finally a couple security guards forced a passage way for me to get to my bags and to the car that was waiting for me. Have thirty people screaming in my face is not how I wanted to start the day. Thirty people pushing their way into my space worried me. They wanted photos, I understood that but the last thing I need to deal with is one of them running into me.

I managed to finally get to the car and slumped down in the seat. Water filled my eyes. Before I met Justin I was a very private person. No one knew anything about me. Not even my friends knew everything about me, I don't regret any of the choices I have made over the years but I sure wish I had a little more privacy. I willing gave that up when I fell in love with Justin. He was worth it in the end.

Shaking off the feelings I was going through I walked into the William Rast offices and prepared myself for yet another nightmare on the elevator ride up. What could possibly be so dire emergency that I had to fly across the country but yet still have no clue as to what is going on?

"Meredith." I yelled down the hallway.

"Melissa. Finally." She expressed.

"Finally? I just got off the plane. What is going on?"

"Drop your things off in your office, then meet us in the conference room. Everyone is already in there working."

"Well aren't you miss do it all now? Do I pay you enough for all this?"

"Ha. We can talk about that later." She joked.

                The office door was cracked open and the light was off. Meredith must have turned the air because I can hear it moving around. I reached for the door to push it open, flipping on the light switch. I gasped at the sight in my office as the light fills the room...

Melissa

                Balloons. Balloons everywhere filled the space that used to be known as my office. Pinks, blues, yellows, all soft baby colors with the words ‘Congratulations' on them.  Hormones have kicked in because the site of some latex and helium has brought me to tears. I turn and see Meredith standing in the doorway.

"Just a little congratulations for you." She says with tears in her eyes. "It's been a long time coming."

I begin to sob, crying like a fool. "How did you know?" I asked.

"I know everything." She said, laughing, ''Plus Justin slipped up said something, thinking I already knew."

"I'm sorry." I felt bad, I should have told her. "I was going to tell you when I got here today. I wanted to tell you in person and I didn't want you to hear it through the great vine, but looks like Justin is telling everyone before I have the chance to. Does everyone know?""

"I'm the only one that knows in the office, no apologizes are necessary. I understand you wanting to wait to tell anyone. You have been through this more than your fair share of heartbreak with pregnancies. I'm glad that you are finally going to have a baby!"

My eyes lit up, he must not have told her everything. "Babies."

She looked at me, stunned. "I'm sorry what?"

"Twins!" I expressed. I couldn't stop smiling.

"Wow, just wow... even better. Is everything ok with both of them?" She came across the room to hug me, gently.

"Everything is perfect.... So, as much as I love this." I spun around pointing at all the balloons. "Please tell me I didn't fly four thousand miles to receive balloons?"

"No." she laughs, "The dress that ABC has been bitching about for a month for the season finale, still isn't done."

"Why isn't it done? I emailed the sketches?"

"Yes and we did that dress and ABC wanted to add something else, then they wanted to make it more of a ball gown, because the character thinks she is a freaking princess... long story short this dress has been a  nightmare."

"When are they shooting the episode?"

"Friday." She looked at me scared.

"Well, we don't have much time... Let's get to work. I would like to get home to my husband soon."

                Adjusting my wardrobe, I tie the ribbon again around the jacket hoping to hold it still. Checking the mirror to make sure the bump was covered I walked out of my office and into the conference room. I walk in the room unnoticed, just the way I like it. Everyone continues working on this dress. I couldn't understand what the big problem was. They wanted the entire bodice covered in crystals and the bottom satin. What was so difficult?

                Most of the room argued for an hour about everything. I was frustrated and burning up in this room. I was sure that it was just my blood pressure from being annoyed that everyone couldn't compromise and just fix the problem. I stood up removing my jacket, throwing it on the chair and slamming my hands down on the table. Making everyone in the room look my direction.

"It's not that difficult." I said louder, "Stop arguing over this.... It has to be done and it needs to be done yesterday. Make the top layer "

"Mel." Meredith interrupted me as the entire room gasped.

"Yes, Meredith."

"Your jacket."

"What about my jacket." I was confused as I looked down at it lying on the chair.

She looked at me with the scared "You... you took it off."

"Ok? I took my jacket off." I took my jacket off. I closed my eyes tight. I took the jacket off, the very jacket that was covering my very swollen abdomen. "Fuck." I dropped my head. I guess the cat was out of the bag.

Justin

                The sun rising and shining into my tightly shut eye lids is the worst thing ever. I stretched out to feel Melissa and pull her next to me. The sun in my eyes is not the worst thing. I have forgot she left this morning, or I should say I tried to block that part of this morning out of my brain.

 It was going to be one of those days. I got out of bed walking half asleep down to the coffee pot. I was sure that Melissa had coffee before she left this morning, and there was no way she had enough time to drink twelve cups. It would be cold, but I knew how to work a microwave, surprisingly.

Standing, watching my cup go round and round, I close my eyes and inhale. I can smell her all over this house. The smell of lilacs is overwhelming. I wanted to hold her in my arms.

Beep. Beep. Beep. I grabbed the cup and placed it directly into my hand, "Ouch." I said, knowing the cup would be hot but I needed the caffeine. I drug my lazy ass back up the stairs sipping on the hot coffee. When I walk into the bathroom, I can smell her again. I see a note taped to the mirror by a tiny heart sticker.

My love, I left lilacs all over the house, I hope the smell fills the void while I'm gone.

I love you. -Mel

I pulled the small sheet of cardstock off of the mirror, rubbing my thumbs over her neat hand writing. I feel like I lose a piece of me when she is away. I pick up the phone and call her; she had to be in the office by now and I just wanted to hear her voice.

I didn't however want her voicemail, and that's what I got. I was sure she was busy and I was being selfish. I throw my laptop in the passenger seat of the car and eventually jump on the freeway.  The ride was quiet with music playing softly in the background as my mind wonders elsewhere, until I hear something I recognize, my wife, on the radio. "What I'd Give" was a powerful song. Hearing her belt out those notes makes my day. I crank it up louder...

"What I'd give...  To let you love me... Find everything that brings your joy... Wake up to your face above me... I'd be that girl and you could be that boy... Found out what that feeling is.... Oh, what I'd give... What I'd give..."

I could listen to her sing to me all day. I close my eyes, listening to her sing to me. She wrote this song with me in mind, which makes it weird to hear as well but she nailed this song perfectly.  She made butterflies appear in my stomach every time I hear her belt those notes.  I was sitting at a red light when I realized that there were paparazzi in the vehicle next to me, witnessing and recording the fact that I'm blaring and singing along with my wife on the radio. Great. I'm a nerd, I'm fully aware of that. My wife also knew that when she married me. I smiled at them and turned the corner to enter the parking lot of the studio.

"Good Morning Mr. Timberlake. I didn't know you were coming in today." Sara said from behind the counter. She not only reminded me of Sarah, she looked like her. Sometimes it was hard to look at her directly and speak to her without want to reach out and hug her. I knew she wasn't my Sarah but she reminded me of her so much and how much I missed having her around all the time.

"Good Morning Sara! Cut the Mr. Timberlake crap. We have this discussion every time I walk through these doors."

"They would have my ass if I didn't call you that." She said, throwing her head back realized she just said ass at work.

I laughed, "See that's the Sara I like." He laughed. "I'm all about the profanity."

She flipped through screen after screen on the computer. "I don't see that you are scheduled in a studio today?"

"What? My assistant had me booked all week. We cancelled a couple days but not today."

"I don't know what happened but ..." She continued to look at the computer screen, "It looks like JC cancelled the studio."

"Can you get me into one? I have to finish some things before I leave town."

"I'll rearrange some things. I will get you into a studio. Don't worry." She smiled "By the way, Rob is here in Studio four, if you are looking for him. He isn't working, just visiting."

"I'm going to need someone to help out today." I said, taking my phone out and dialing Rob's number.

I sat waiting for her to find a studio for me to work in today. I had a couple hours before Elizabeth was scheduled to come in. Shit. I thought.  Elizabeth. JC wasn't going to be there. I would have to actually deal with her today. I really hope that JC's thoughts and ideas about her were wrong. I don't know if I could work with her everyday and let her continue to think that there was something going on that will never happen. Maybe, just maybe JC is completely wrong.

Sara informs me that I can go into my normal studio which is great. It's the one that's kind of hid from the rest of them and I can work in there without anyone bothering me. JC finally sends me a text an hour after being in the studio saying that he was sick and that he would try to get there tomorrow. If I would have known he was sick, I would have gone to NYC with my wife this morning.

I jumped in the booth with Rob behind the board. "I have to lay these tracks. I have had this song in my head since last night and I need to get it out."

"You already have the guitar part done?" Rob asked laughing. "Only you Justin. Only you."

"Are you going to make fun of my OCD all day or can we record this track?"

"Sing your heart out Justin."

I grabbed my water and chugged. I gripped that bottle tightly as I begin to sing into the mic.

"Is it possible to maybe to ever love so strong... That nothing could ever compare...  I'm holding back nothing just for the look in your eyes... So baby don't be surprised... I want to know what makes your world go round... And I want to hear your voice from the sound... From a love that defines all I've had in mind... Now I'm holding back nothing for the look in your eyes..."

I see Rob listening intently. His eyes are close, listening to every lyric.

"Impossible maybe, but worth one last try... I'm waiting on your reply... I'm sitting waiting patiently just one chance... That I might be able to hold you tight..."

                I sat for a moment in silence after finishing the song. It was perfect.

"Where do you come up with those things to say to your wife, my god."

"I just wanted to tell her that after all these years, I still look for the love she has for me in her eyes. She has this look in her eyes when she looks deep into my eyes." I had chills. "I just love her more every day."

"She is a lucky woman that's for sure. You're a great guy and you love her dearly. Most wives are lucky enough to have their husbands not cheat..."

"I'm the lucky one. I have her."

"You two are perfect together. And it kind of makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit." He joked.

                I sat back down at the board waiting for Elizabeth to arrive. I was tweaking the guitar and the drum intro listening to the track.

"Impossible maybe, but worth one last try... I'm waiting on your reply... I'm sitting waiting patiently just one chance... That I might be able to hold you tight... I want know what makes your world go round... And I want to hear your voice from the sound.... From a love that defines all I have in mind... I'm holding back nothing for the look in your eyes..."

                "I can't wait for her to hear it." I mumbled to myself.

"I knew it." A woman's voice echoes behind me as I sat behind the board tweaking the sound of the guitar on the track. "I knew you felt the same way."

I spun around in my chair to see Elizabeth standing right over in front of me. I scoot the chair back away from her. "What are you talking about?"

JC was right. Damn that JC.

"Justin... I knew the moment we had our first conversation that you were interested in me." She expresses.

I put my strongest defensive face on. "I don't know what you think you know but I am a happily married man."

"We don't have to lie to everyone anymore." She steps closer when I hear the door open and close. I slid the chair further away from her.

And then I see one of my dearest friends standing in the doorway. I see Melissa's best friend standing in the room where Elizabeth just confessed her love for me.

"Justin?" He flies his arms up in the arm. "What the fuck is going on here?"

Justin

Life as I knew it was officially out the window. The trust, respect, and loyalty I had with him were all vanished in a split second of a one sided conversation. I see Steve's arms flying around in the air. He was furious, as he should be but he has the wrong information. He only heard what she said.

"Steve, man you have all this wrong. This isn't what you think it was..." I began to ramble, "I was recording this song for Mel, waiting on Elizabeth to get here and... "

"No... No... don't try to make fucking excuses." He interrupted as his tone got louder and louder, "I want to know right now what is going on? I trusted you. I trusted you with my best friend in the world." He shakes his head, disgusted. "After everything you both have been through over the years, this is how you choose to deal with it?" Steve face is full of redness, he was furious, with no sign of calming down.

"Steve, I don't know if you heard that whole conversation but she has no idea what she is talking about. I'm not involved with her that way."

Elizabeth chimes in her thoughts, "Justin baby, this is stupid. Tell him how you feel."

My blood pressure is rising and I can feel the heat in my face, "You are living in a delusion. I think you need to get the fuck out of here. RIGHT NOW." I demanded. I haven't been this angry in a very long time. I forgot what it felt like to have every ounce of blood in your body boil. Not the greatest feeling in the world.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said, bobbing her head back and forth.

Steve's still irate; his face is turning a deeper shade of red. "I can't believe that you would cheat on Mel, with her."  He points over to Elizabeth who can't keep her mouth shut.

"Fool, you have no idea what you're talking about." Elizabeth snapped at him.

"Shut the fuck up." He demanded at her. "I don't want to hear your voice right now. Shut up."

 I had never seen Steve like this. I knew that he was very protective of Mel and I was glad he was but I had done nothing wrong, I was the innocent one. I had nothing to say to anyone, I had done nothing wrong, other than the fact that I didn't listen to JC yesterday.

Stupid me. Stupid me. How could I have not seen all the signs?

I turned to look at Elizabeth, as I see Steve pacing around the room. I demanded that she leave, she just wouldn't listen. "Elizabeth, the shit you pulled today is... it's just I can't believe you would do something like that after all I have done for your career. I have spent millions of my own money to make sure this album gets done... I'm just done. You need to leave. I will have my assistant call you with a new recording schedule with JC... that is if he still wants to produce your album. As of this very moment, I'm done being your producer. The label and their funds are going to be responsible for you album. I am so done with you."

"You can't just quit." She snapped up.

"Why not? It's my money I threw away... It's my life you just fucked up... All because of some silly story you had made up in your mind. I hope you realized the gratitude of what you have just done..."

"Love always has consequences. Sometimes -" She said titling her head to the side, biting her bottom lip.

"I DO NOT LOVE YOU." I started to scream. "I love my wife. Melissa is the one I love. The ONLY ONE!"

                She stormed out of the room slamming the door behind her. "Fuck you Justin. FUCK YOU!"

I drop down into my chair, placing my head into my hands, what a mess I have gotten myself into. I knew that Steve was still here and he wasn't going anywhere until he got some answers. I turn to talk to him but before I could he was already talking. Placing his hand over his chest, "I trusted you with her." He was calm but disappointed. "I trusted... that you would never hurt her." His eyes begin to well up with tears.

"I haven't hurt her. I haven't done anything." I blurted, "I swear I would never hurt her like that. I would never cheat on her." How was I going to convince him that I had done nothing wrong? How was I going to prove to him that I still love my wife with all my heart?

"How do I know that you are not lying to me right now? All cheaters try to cover up their mistakes after they have been caught."

"I have no reason to lie to you." I said calmly. I knew being upset and urging about this was going to make him think I was guilty. "If I was trying to cover something up I would be running in circles trying to do it. I have never been a good liar. I wouldn't be able to lie if I tried to and get away with it. If I have done anything wrong it's that I didn't listen to JC when he said that she had a thing for me."

"When did he tell you this?" he asked.

"Yesterday. I never saw the signs before. I would have never if he didn't point it out to me. I'm in love with my wife... that's all that matters to me."

He shakes his head. Still trying hard not to believe a word I say."I don't know if I can't trust what you're saying. Why couldn't you have just told her to stay away, why couldn't you just stick up for your wife?"

"I did everything I could. You have to remember who I am." I said sounding cocky, but that's not the way I meant it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he questioned, confused.

"I'm Justin Timberlake, the guy that has some money and an easy target for all kinds of lawsuits. Trust me back there I wanted to scream in her face but I know that I can't. If I would like to keep my job and hell if I would not like to hand her a couple millions dollars, I have to keep my mouth shut. I know that I haven't done anything wrong. I know that whatever she thinks is all her thoughts but she can run to the press in a heartbeat and tell them this story and they will believe it. She could say that as her boss I treated her unfairly... there's a lot that can happen, I can't take that chance."

"So Melissa isn't worth that chance is that what you're saying?"

"I'm saying if Melissa and I would like to support our children, I needed to shut my mouth."

"You have enough money for the rest of your life."

"Your right, I do but it's a huge risk to take. You have seen Melissa's shopping traits." He chuckles. "I would like my kids to not have to worry about money either. I would like them to have the best possible life. I don't want them to have a worry about life."

He understands, but still disappointed. "You need to call Melissa... and you need to do it before I do."

"Steve, you have known me for a long time. You know that I love Melissa more than life in itself. You know deep down that all of this is Elizabeth's bullshit. I need you to trust me. I need you to know that I would never ever hurt Melissa."

"I want to believe you, I really think I can but what I walked in on wasn't so promising."

"You walked in three seconds after I pushed her away from me. You missed everything I had to say to her."

"I ... I just need you to talk to Mel about this. At the end of the day she is the only person I'm worried about."

"I will talk to her. I promise you I will explain everything to her."  I sat down in the chair trying to figure out what else I can say to him to make him believe me. "But I am worried that I have broken your trust, I need you to trust me. I wouldn't hurt her." Thinking about her makes a smile creep up on my face, I loved her unconditionally. "I love her, I just love her... and you and Kia have always been family."

"I know that Justin, I really do. I want to believe you and trust you..."

                Steve's broken trust hurt. I have always been a very honest person with everyone I have come in contract with and if this was just anyone, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad. Steve was someone that I would never be dishonest with. I trusted my life in his hands. I respected him as a person, as my friend, as my brother.

Watching him walk out of that studio with uncertainty about me heartbreaking.

Melissa

I took my jacket off. I closed my eyes tight. I took the jacket off, the very jacket that was covering my very swollen abdomen.

 "Fuck." I dropped my head.

                A pit in my stomach forms the size of the Grand Canyon.

Shit.

                I had no way around this now. I had to tell them.

"Well... I guess I should share the news." I stood with a super dry mouth and nerves making my knees shake.  My dust  my sweaty palms on my jeans, hoping to help but it doesn't. I was having a harder time telling these people in this room that I was pregnant than I would be in front of twenty thousand screaming fans. "I'm pregnant." I finally blurted.

The entire room started clapping. Make face turned beat red.

"Please don't do that. Justin and I would like to keep it as quiet as possible for a while. As long as we can... Rumors are rumors and they will never go away but we want to share the news with our families first. So please, keep this information to yourself because once the conformation is out there the paparazzi will be horribly bad."

"Worse than it already is?" Meredith asked jokingly.

"I can't imagine it worse than it is, but I'm sure it would get worse."

"I don't know how you do it some days."

"Me either.... Enough about me. We have a dress to finish."

                Hours and hours have past, everyone has left, the sun has gone down and the stars are shinning but the only thing I see is a finished product right in front of me. Resting on a mannequin was a work of art. Piecing the right pieces together, watching it go from nothing to something was incredible. I hadn't done that in a very long time. That was the one thing about being successful at what you do. You have to give up pieces to make sure everything gets done. I missed watching the pieces fall together.

 Putting together pieces of fabric together makes you think about all the things I have done in my life, all the little pieces of my life that had been sewed together to make that incredible something. The life I lived in Ohio made me the person I was today but not a single piece of me regretted the choice I made to move to L.A. I was immensely happy in my life with him. He has become the best part of me.

                Calling for the car finally, I wait in the lobby patiently. It had been a long day and I was ready to relax for the evening. The apartment was steaming hot and the air seemed to take forever to cool the place down. Tank top and panties was the most comfortable thing for me right now. I felt like I was middle aged and having a heat flash.

I stretched out on the bed on the chilly sheets. It felt great against my skin. I stare at the ceiling, wishing Justin was here with me with his arms wrapped tightly around me. Feeling his heart beat under his skin. Having the stubbles of his five o'clock shadow graze against my neck as he nuzzles his chin into the groove of my neck.

RING.... RING...

                Who would be calling me at one in the morning? Reached over and a smile rose on my face. I picked it up answering it with, "You must have somehow known that I was thinking of you." I rattled off, "I have been thinking of you all day."

He was quiet. He had no words. That wasn't normal for him.

"J- you there?" I sat up on the bed.

"Yes." he got quiet again, I could hear him crying.

"Is there something wrong? Why are you crying? Don't get quiet like that..."

He starts as a whisper, "I don't know what to say to you... or even how to say this to you..."

A thousand reasons why he could be calling could have run through my head, but no, the only thing I could think about was him not being happy.

Divorce.

What else could possibly make him this upset?

"Mel... honey... there is something I need to tell you."

Divorce maybe... but not just because he wasn't happy. Adultery. My stomach began to turn uncontrollably. I forgot how to breathe. I was frozen. I was about to break into a million little pieces.

"Justin... just say it." I needed it to be out there. I needed to hear it.

I could hear him shuffling around something. It sounded like a glass being titled on its rim, rolling on the granite countertops.
                "Elizabeth."

Elizabeth? Wow.... Elizabeth.

"Studio...Steve..." he couldn't form entire sentences.

"Steve, what does this have to do with Steve..." my heart began to race. "Please tell me that Steve and Elizabeth didn't..."

He interrupts, "No... no..." he pauses, exhales deeply, "I need to just say it. But please let me finish before you come to conclusions on your own..."

"Okay..." My foot began to shake. Nervousness set in, in the worst way.

"You know that I love you and that I would never hurt you... I need you to know that. I love you more than anything in this world." I couldn't think straight, I felt my world crashing down in slow motion and I was watching it happen, not attempting to stop it. "It has come to my attention that Elizabeth... is in love with me. She professed her love for me today. I didn't see any of the signs. I never paid attention to her enough to see the signs I guess... until today"

My hands started to tremble, "Are you trying to tell me that you have feelings for her?"

"NO! I'm trying to say that... gosh, I don't even know what to say."

"Just spit it out. I can't take the drawn out crap... I need to know." I started to panic. I didn't know what he was going to say.

"Steve walked into the studio hearing Elizabeth say we didn't need to hide our feelings anymore..."

My heart sank. "WHAT?"

"Mel..." he said softly.

I swallowed hard.

"I'm more in love with you every second of every day. There will never be someone else like you in my life. Never think for a moment that I don't love you. I have and always will be hopelessly in love with you... Elizabeth... she means nothing to me. She had this idea or plan or whatever in her head. She had this huge story made up that she begun to believe was reality. I have never nor will I ever love her."

I felt a sense of relief.

He continued..." I was recording this song and I said something like I can't wait for her to hear it and then Elizabeth was there saying, I knew you felt the same way... I was referring to you and she, she was far beyond the realm of reality. I needed to tell you before a story could come out of it. I needed to tell you because the last thing I would ever want is for you to believe any part of it..."

I was the quiet one now. I didn't know what to say.

"Mel..." his tone broke my heart.

I began to flick my finger nails together, digging one into the other. A nervous habit I never could get rid of. "I'm here..."

"I... I don't know what else to say." he pauses, "Stop doing that to your nails..."

"I need you to tell me the truth. All I need is to hear from you that this is all her. This was-"

"Melissa Timberlake." I could almost see his smile as he sat in the kitchen in the same spot he always does, running his finger around the rim of the glass... "I love every single piece of you. I have never even looked at another woman. I have no need to. I have everything I could ever need or want with you. I love you. I would never dishonor your trust or our marriage."

 Without hesitation I knew he was telling the truth. Justin couldn't lie. He didn't know how to lie to me. "I believe you."

I heard his sign of relief. His stress level had dropped I could hear the release in his voice, "I love you."

Who would have thought this is how my day would end... or should I say this is how not how I thought my day would start. My heavy head hit the pillow and I laid there wide awake until I heard the alarm go off, slowly climbing out of bed and starting the day.

Justin

                How could I have let this happen? How could I have let it get this far?

                The ice cubes in my whiskey is starting to melt. I didn't need another drink. That was for sure, more alcohol could make this situation worse. I think if I spin this glass in circles anymore I am going to need to replace the granite countertops. That would surly piss Melissa off, considering it took us eight months to get this special granite in.

God, I missed her.

                My stomach growling was a reminder that I hadn't eaten the entire day. Luckily the coke I used to mix with my whisky had enough sugar in it to keep me moving for the day. I opened the fridge to find a pizza box that had a small note attached to it.

                It was Mel's neat cursive handwriting.

Because I know you will not eat the whole day and be looking for something to eat later, I stopped and picked you up a pizza. I hope you see this before it goes bad.

I love you- Mel

I knew that Melissa said she believed me, but I knew her. I knew that once she has an ounce of distrust she would be guarded. I needed her to trust me, I didn't need her to think I would ever do that to her. I needed her love more than I need air to breathe.

A knock on the front door startled me. I took a slice of pizza out of the box and placed it on the counter before walking towards the door, eating the cold pizza. Behind the glass I see someone I have spent most of my life with, someone who has seen the craziness just as much as I have.

"You look like shit man." He says as soon as the door flies open.

"Thanks C. That's comforting."

"I'm here to state the truth, that's it." He looks around the dark house, seeing the light in the kitchen glistening off the scotch glass on the counter. "Elizabeth is not worth you doing this to yourself. You have done nothing wrong. Mel doesn't deserve that..."

"Elizabeth will never have that satisfaction. Plus, I had a drink, JC. Ok maybe a few but I'm fine." I knew exactly what he was referring to. I close my eyes and walk away from him, walking back into the kitchen.

"J- I know what you went though with your break up with -"

I cut him off, "That was another lifetime ago. I'm not still dealing with that."

"I'm not saying you are. But I know the depression you sank into, and it started with that very same scotch glass I do believe. Why do you still even have that glass, it holds such bad memories."

"I just wanted a drink to calm my nerves. I'm fine. And I have that glass still because it was something my grandfather bought me..." That woman in my past will never outweigh the memories of my grandfather. That woman deserved nothing that great.

He starts laughing, staring at that glass, "I love that you continue to drink Jack in your scotch glass."

"I'm from Tennessee man that's what we drink." I joked.

Looking down at the floor he asks, "So, did you talk to Mel? What did she say?"

"I have to say that was the most difficult thing I think I have and will ever say to her... and I didn't even do anything to have that conversation with her. I did nothing wrong to make her feel a level of distrust with me."

"She loves you. She knows you love her. You will get past this." He stands in silence.

The smell of lilacs overtakes my senses again.  A wave of her came rushing in. I had an idea. I wasn't going to wait any longer to see her, "Will you drive me to the airport?"

"Sure, when?"

"Now." I expressed.

JC gave me that same look he used to give me when I was about to do something crazy and spontaneous. That disapproving older figure looking down at the choices I would make. "It's late, fly out in the morning."

I picked up the glass and placed it in the sink. "Don't look at me like that... I'll take the red eye. I want to be there when she wakes up in the morning."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked sitting down at the island.

I sat down next across from him, "Yes, I should have done this in the first place. I should have just gone to NYC as soon as this happened. I should have never told her over the phone..."

"I have to say, I'm glad to see this part of you back." A smile resided on his face now.

"What part?" he question, confused.

"The spontaneous J I used to know. The one who would jump on a plane in a heartbeat and fly anywhere he wanted to. The guy that put his heart above everything else, the guy you always were from the day you met Mel, that guy that has become an amazing man."

"Look at you getting all cheesy and stuff."

"I know right? That's all you get now." He pointed at the stairs, "Go get your bag. Let's get you to the airport."

                I ran into LAX hoping that there was still a seat left on that flight. I should have a called on the way, but I was willing to pay whatever I needed to get on that flight. I bypassed every photographer in that airport, storming right past them. My one track mind came in handy. When the woman behind the counter looked at me with the sad eyes I felt my heart sink. She was going to tell me it was full, she was going to tell me I had to wait until morning to fly out and I don't know how I was going to handle that.
"Mr. Timberlake." She says shaking. "We do have one seat left."

I threw my head back and exhaled the breathe I was holding in. "Thank you."

She continues to look at the screen, not having eye contact with me, "Well, there is an issue though. There is a tag on your account that says for security reasons you have to be seating in first class, with the accompany of a security agent. The one seat I have left is in coach and I don't see your body guard anywhere..."

"Fuck." I said out loud wishing I had control of my foul language in public places, "That was my management's doing. Can we take that off, it's a red eye flight. I will be fine."

"I need to get approval to do this. I will put the ticket on hold and see what I can do." She types away on her keyboard, not looking up at me.

"I really appreciate that however the flight is boarding right now..." I began to panic a little. How in the world was I going to get on that flight? I would totally pull out the celebrity card if I needed to.

"It will just take a minute." She turns and picks up the phone.

I stood there, tapping my foot, pacing around the ticket counter. I was nervous. The minutes were ticking by and I was just standing here, doing nothing. I didn't have any power to control this situation. I needed to get to my wife. From someone who thought there would never be a chance in hell I would get married, I think it was the best choice I had made in my entire life. Being hurt and dealing with a broken heart is never an easy thing but without that pain and unfaithfulness I wouldn't have fell as madly in love as I have.  Each day I count my lucky stars that she continues to love me every day. I'm blessed to have many things in my life but she is the one thing that I hold closest to my heart. Nothing else in the world mattered. Soon there will be two more things to hold dear to my heart. I still have a hard time believing I will be a father. Marriage was a step I never thought I would take. I never ever thought I would have children. The idea of little feet running through the house is something I want badly.

"Mr. Timberlake." She calls my name as I race back over to the counter.

"Yes." I placed my hands, wallet, and passport on the counter.

"They are allowing you to board the flight without that tag being removed for future flights. There are a couple people on the flight that are going to make sure your safe."

"Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me." I felt a release; I felt like I could breathe again, I was going to see my wife in just a few hours.

She handed me the ticket, "Have a great flight, Mr. Timberlake."

                I ran through the terminal, going through security and checking in my bag before I finally boarded my flight. I tucked my beanie down over my head, and passed out for the entire flight.

Cameras were shoved in my face the moment I stepped off that flight. Allegations were flying high and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I really didn't think Elizabeth would run her mouth to the press but maybe I was wrong.

Melissa

"Justin" I felt my the words vibrate out of my vocal cords as I felt his long arms and enormous hands wrap around my body, snuggling his nose into groove of my neck.

"I'm here." He whispered, "Go back to sleep."

                I sat up quickly thinking, I had to be dreaming. There was no way that he would be here, with me, in this bed, four thousand miles away from where he was supposed to be... What if someone got in the apartment, what if... I look down and watch as he sits up straighter on the bed. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"You're here? You're actually here?" I said surprised, my heart was still racing.

"I couldn't be away. I needed to be next to you." The tears well up in his eyes, "I couldn't have you here and me there... and I couldn't have you thinking that anything that happened yesterday was true. I wanted you to know how much I love you. I wanted-"

"I believe you." I pulled in his face, kissing his forehead. "If I have learned anything being your girlfriend, then fiancé and now wife... is people are going to make up things about our life. People are going to swear to something, true or not. I have faith in my husband that he wouldn't lie to me. That's all that matters. Everyone in the world can believe what they want."

He pulled my face back close to his, "I love you." His lips on mine sent shock waves through my body, having his face transfer down to my abdomen and softly kiss my stomach sent tears down my face. "Lay back down. We all need to get our rest." I crawled back into the bed with him and slept like I hadn't before.

Being pregnant has for the most part been an amazing adventure for me. I was comfortable more than I was uncomfortable. Sleep was difficult sometimes but manageable. My appearance has changed dramatically very quickly. It was like I woke up one day and this swollenness just appeared. This was something I had to get used to. Being pregnant with twins does that to you I guess. Hiding a pregnancy was the worst of everything.

It was hot in NYC and I was wearing too much clothing. The central air in the apartment couldn't keep up with temperature today. I had no idea how I was going to make it from place to place today and eventually make it through two airports with the layers I had to wear to cover this up.

Staring out the window at the bright sunshine I make a decision on my own. I was done hiding it. The paparazzi aren't going to let up and they are not going anywhere.

"Good morning beautiful..." he stands behind me with his arms around my ever growing waist. "I'm not going to be able to do this for much longer." He snuggles his chin onto my shoulder.

"Thanks Justin." I dropped his hands and walked away from the window. I love the feeling of my husband making jokes at my expense.

"Mel..." he grabbed a hold of my hand swinging me around to look at him. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"This..." I throw my hands in air circling around my stomach, "Is a lot to get used to. I don't need those comments."

"I didn't mean that in a bad way. I find pregnancy very sexy on you. You have this glow..." he pulls me in closer, "I love you looking like this."

"I can't..." I dropped my head, hoping he would drop the conversation. I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Pulling me close to him he says, "Babe, what is wrong? Talk to me..."

"I can't hide this anymore. I want to be happy and pregnant. I want to shout it from the rooftops... I want to be the gloating wife overjoyed about the family we are about to have."

"You have never had to hide this pregnancy."

"The mess it's going to cause... I don't know which is worse."

He turns and takes his phone off the nightstand, strolling down lists and places the phone to his ear. "Jenny Green, please."

"Justin-" I hissed. "What are you doing?"

He ignored me, "Tell her Justin Timberlake is on the phone.... Ok... thank you..."

"Justin, we need to talk about this..." I said, wanting to have a discussion about it before this decision was made.

He pulls the phone away from his ear, "This is very simply. You do not need the pressure of hiding something as wonderful as this pregnancy."

I was relieved but at the same time, I felt the pressure. I didn't want Justin to think he had to do this. But I guess I was the one that was going to be hounded by the press for the next couple months. It had to be my decision.

He dropped the phone on the bed, "It's done. They are going to make the announcement at five, L.A. time. We should be fine getting through the Pittsburgh Airport and at your mother's before this is dropped into the hands of the entire media world."

"Thank you."

He pulls my head onto his chest, resting on his heart, "You should have said you didn't want to hide it, you didn't have to."
"I know I didn't have to but it's easier to just not comment on the situation and ignore it then to make it very well known."

"Well, you being comfortable and happy is the most important thing to me. I can handle the press. Eric and Lonnie will be joining us for the trip and will stay with us for quite a while until it calms down or the babies come first. But I'm guess we should get used to them around us twenty four-seven again."

"That's fine; I understand why they are there. I'm glad they entertain me, because otherwise I would be annoyed.

 Throwing on my adjusted William Rast jeans and a flag tank; we headed out into the streets of NYC. Everyone already knew we were expecting, and if they didn't they would when these photos hit the scene. Southern Hospitality was a must while in New York City. The warm southern food was comforting, without actually going to the south. Watching Justin drink an ice cold beer was painful. He didn't even think about when he ordered it, when he thought about it he apologized and asked the waitress to take it away. I thought that was silly. I almost had to demand that he keep it and have another if he wanted to.

Normally Justin wouldn't answer the phone while we were eating but when Johnny called four times back to back he knew there was something going on that he needed to be aware of. As I watched his face, I knew that it couldn't be good news. When he said, "Do what you think is best." I knew, without a shadow of a doubt it was not good news.

He looked at me, sad that he had to tell me something like this. "The paparazzi are camped out at the airport waiting on us."

"At JFK?" I asked feeling the nausea in my stomach about to take control.

"And in Pittsburgh, somehow they got a heads up of where we were headed."

"Are we talking a couple people with cameras? We are used to that."

He shakes his head, pressing his lips together. "No, Johnny seems to think there is a hundred here in NYC and at least fifty in Pittsburgh, just waiting."

I dropped my head down on the table, covering my face. "Damn it."

He reached across the table, taking my hand into his. "Johnny is scheduling us a private flight this evening. They will take us straight up to the plane and we won't have to worry about anything. Johnny seems to think we need the private jet."

"That's fine. It's not a big deal, a waste of money for such a short flight but its fine. Except that paparazzi will be flooding my hometown."

"Let's hope not... We haven't taken a private jet for short trips in a very long time. It just got to the point where we could at least be on a plane with others." He laughs, "It's like we are unruly or something. We're not allowed to play with others."

The waitress comes back over to our table and clears the plates and places the check down on the table, "We can just go home to L.A. I can visit my mom some other time."

"NO." he demanded, "They are not going to make us change our plans. We will deal with this as it comes."

"Can we stop the press release? I think it's going to make things worse." I picked up the check and handed there girl my credit card before Justin snatches my card and puts his down.

"We can, but I seriously think it needs to be out there. And deal with it now."

I closed my eyes, trying to think of anything better than this anxiety I feel at this moment. "Why exactly does it matter which card we use? It's the same account."

"Why are we paying anyways? We seem to have connections here."

"Justin, don't. We are paying the bill."

"Fine." He smiles before we stand to walk out of the restaurant into the mob of cameras awaiting our return to the streets of New York City.

"Justin and Melissa Timberlake are happy to announce that they are indeed expecting. The couple is overjoyed to be sharing the news at a very exciting time in their lives. When there is something else to report, there will be a statement released. Until then with respect for their safety, they ask for a level of privacy at such a joyous time for them."

Justin

                I hate to admit this, but I prefer to fly private. I don't have to worry about anything. Melissa is much happier flying this way but she doesn't like the price tag that came along with it. I had paid for a private jet for much of my adult life, so I was used to it. It came as just another expense for me. To be able to sit here with my wife and do whatever the hell we wanted is the best felling.

                I remember one of the first times we flew private, just weeks after Mel moved to L.A., being on the private jet and it was just the two of us and the pilots. She was completely game for joining the mile high club. I couldn't believe that was her first thoughts when we walked on the jet. I should have expected it, knowing how crazy the girl was in bed but it took over every control I had in my body. I laughed at my own thoughts. I was ridiculous.

"What are you laughing about over there?" Mel asked with the smile running across her face.

"The mile high club!"

She tilted her head and gave me the side smile that I loved so much, "Which time?" She said raising her eyebrows.

"Particularly I was remembering the first time..." I adjusted myself in my seat, trying to hide the fact that I got completely turned on by a memory." But now that you have brought it up... I think my favorite time was on the way to Paris..."

"Oh... wow, yeah I never had such a pleasurable twelve hour flight before that moment." She looks at me, and looks over at the pilot's quarters, then back at me. When she climbs out of her seat and walks up to the pilot and shuts the door. I knew exactly what was about to happen, the mile high club was about to have another private meeting.

                She clicks on the CD player, turning it up loud; she must expect to be screaming pretty loud... The instant satisfaction I get from her makes me never want to even look at another woman. So as she straddles her legs around my lap I instantly get aroused and filter right into her plan. "How long is this flight?" she asked kissing up the side of my neck.

"I... I..." I couldn't concentrate on words while she is unzipping my jeans and dropping them to the floor. The look of lust in her eyes made me want her even more.

She stepped back looking at me, then over at the clock. "We have at least an hour... right?" She yanked on my boxer briefs, pulling them off at my feet as I nodded my head yes. "I have plenty of time." She slowly took her hands and placed them over my already fully erected cock that stood straight up in the air. She had that affect on me. Her hands moved up my abdomen and around my back side, resting her hands on my ass as her mouth took over the placement of where her hands. Watching her take in every inch of me made my entire body quiver. I took her hair into my hands and held a tight grip as she began to send me into another level of pleasure. Simply watching her face and the excitement she got out of this act makes me want to be inside of her and not watching her take me in. But within moments, I was exploding through her mouth and down her throat as she swallows with one movement. Running her tongue around the head was it for me; I stood out of that chair, starting to remove every single piece of clothing she was wearing. I slowly pulled the tank up over her head, revealing her black lace bra. I couldn't for a moment take my lips off of her. It didn't matter where they were as long as they were on her skin somewhere. I took her face into my hands and kissed her enticingly as I unbuckled her jeans and slid them to the floor. She fumbles as the jeans get stuck on her feet, causing a huge smile to run across her face. I loved her smile. I took her lips back to mine before I ventured down her entire body. I lowered her onto the chair we had been in when she pulls my face down to hers, seductively and endearing she said, "I love you... and I love what you can do with that tongue but please, fuck me... make me scream your name..." Her words instantly make my already rock hard cock even harder. I was sure that it was going to blow if I didn't use it soon. So as she turned and positioned herself over the side of the chair I was ready to give her exactly what she wanted. Fucking her is what I did. There was a slow entrance as she found a comfortable position but then it was all full force, in and out, our bodies rocking back and forth until I felt her entire body starting to pulsate around my cock. It was then that her body stiffened and let go of everything it was holding inside. She threw her head back, letting it all go, feeling the pleasure of a mind blowing orgasm. She stood with her face back in front of mine, on her tippy toes; "I love when you fuck me..." she pulled me in and took my lips onto hers.

Ding.

                We both looked at each other knowing that the seat belt light was on and we had to get dressed. "I love you... I love every single piece of you..." I ran my thumb over her jaw line. She was unbelievably gorgeous. How did I get so damn lucky?

Melissa

                Pittsburgh. When I stepped off that plane and out into the fresh air of Pennsylvania I knew one thing. I was going to enjoy the small town living for a couple days.

                Stepping off the private plane onto the pavement with no one except Lonnie and Eric staring at us, we were home free. I stretched my arms and legs from their stiff positions they were just in. "It's about time..." Lonnie said. "Not all of us travel private jets, some of us and by some of us I mean me, I have been standing in the blistering sunshine for an hour waiting on your asses." I launched at Lonnie as he opened his arms for a hug.

"I missed you to Lonnie!" I let go of him, reaching for Eric, "I missed you to. I hope we haven't ruined your plans for anything?"

"No, nothing major anyways." Eric says as he reaches out to shake Justin's hand. "So what's on the agenda for this trip?"

"Nothing." Justin said chuckling. "Relax before going back to L.A. to work our butts off."

"And deal with drama..." I threw out there.

Eric laughs, "Drama? Your lives are never involved in drama." Everyone was laughing at that comment.

                I knew that I didn't want our children to grow up here but it was a nice place to get away for a moment. There were memories of everything here. Every piece of my childhood and early adulthood took place in this very area. The advantages of living here weren't even close to the advantages of living in Los Angeles. There was nothing here and even being gone as long as I have been, that still hasn't changed. I want my children to grow up near the city. I didn't have that option and I want them to have opportunities that I never did.

The scenery in this area was gorgeous during the seasonal changes. This was something that didn't happen in California. Watching the season's change, the colors of the trees changing quickly to seeing the tops of a mountain have snow on them had its moments of being breathtaking. In one day the leaves could be green and the next they could be a shade of orange. In just a few hours there could be snow on the ground. I did miss seeing the changes but it wasn't enough to keep me here.

                The old gas station that still did full service was still running. Seeing the next generation use something that was rarely even used in my generation was something to see. I found myself wondering what it would have been like if the choices I made were different. What if one single option I chose would have been the opposite. What if I wouldn't have gone to L.A.? What if I would have never realized the love that I had for him? What if I would have stayed in Vegas? What if I never stepped foot on that plane to Cancun? My life would be nothing of what it is today. I wouldn't have found my other half. I would have had the career I do... the opportunities I have... everything would be different. I would be still living here, driving on these very streets every day.

I look down at my phone, Jenny just emailed me.  "The statement has been released." I said staring at the words in black in white. It was good and bad news. I look over at him slowly as he takes his hand into mine.

"You're ok with that right?" he asked.

"We don't really have a choice now. It's done..."

He jerks his hand out of mine, pointing at the road ahead, "Mel... look!"

Scared, I look quickly. Tingles form over my entire body.

"Babe..." he said still pointing at the sign.

I cover my mouth with my hand, "Oh my god... that's... that's... my name!"

On the West Virginia, Ohio border line rests a huge billboard with my picture on it. And the words, "Home of Melissa Timberlake" As if I needed something to make me cry. Hormones were a bitch and this was making me cry like I had just won a Grammy. This meant more to me than any award could ever mean.

"Babe, they are so proud of you here! But they are not nearly as proud of you as I am."

He says things like that and it melts my heart like he has never said it before. I took his hand back into mine, pressing the top of his hand to my lips. "I love you so much." I tucked his hand against my leg, wrapping both hands around his as we drove through town.

We sat in the car of the parking lot of the local Wal-Mart debating if we should even attempt this adventure. The dark tinted windows make it hard for anyone to see in the vehicle but we could see all the people hand and hand walking in stores, and through parking lot, living their lives without an ounce of wondering who was watching their every move.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked

"We'll be fine. This isn't Los Angeles; there are not people at the door with a camera, expecting us to walk through. Plus Lonnie and Eric are here."

"I just want you to be safe... that's all."

"I know, let's go. If it gets to crazy, we will leave." He leans and kisses my forehead when I pull his lips down, pressing them against mine, taking in the taste of his lips and his tongue.

                Lonnie sighs deeply, "Enough of that..." we all laughed as we stepped out of the car at the same time. Divide and conquer. We were on a mission to find something to cook my mother dinner and just have a relaxing night doing nothing. Hand and hand we walked through both sets of automatic sliding doors, entering into the open space and grabbed a cart. Lonnie took the cart as Eric walked on the other side of us.

"Any ideas on what you want for dinner?" Justin asked, as I shrugged my shoulders, "Anyone know?" We just laughed; indecisive was the option of the day.

It was great that we got along with our security like they were just a friend hanging out because otherwise it would be annoying having someone hovering over you at all times. They were like family, and family they were, even when making fun of me and my stupid ways. I must have tossed dozens of things in that cart that I shouldn't have even thought about eating, let alone actually having the intentions of eating them.

"Melissa... Roberts?" a female voice said from behind me, I spun to see who it was.

Her long blonde locks were still as long as ever. "Tammy..." I said letting go of Justin's hand. I reached out to hug her.

"You're... you're expecting!" she said surprised.

"I am." I nodded my head, watching out of the corner of my eye, Justin darting down the aisle way and Eric running behind him. "And there goes my husband." I laughed

"The rumors were right for once."

"Yea, they have been saying I was pregnant since the day I met him. When this became reality we tried to keep it to ourselves for a while." I couldn't stop looking at her, her face has aged, but her personality was still there. I was happy to see she didn't let anyone change who she was. "It's been a long time."

"It sure has. I'm sure it's hard to come back here often, with people following you and everything."

"When I do come and visit, I usually don't go anywhere except to my mother's house. She typically comes to L.A. It's easier sometimes."

She got quiet, "You seem happy." She finally said.

"I'm very happy. I miss the people here but I love L.A. and all its drama."

"I meant with Justin. You really are happily in love with him."

"I am, he is pretty amazing. I'm very lucky."

"I think he is the lucky one." We both laughed.

"I'm glad you stopped and said hi!"

"It was great to see you. I won't keep you. Congratulations on the baby!"

Before I knew it she was gone. I had missed her. She was one of very few that I missed working with everyday. It reminded me that I had to see Aaron before I left. I hoped that he was in town. Last time I saw him was in New York City six or eight months ago.

My husband and Eric were piling in cases of beer into the cart. Those evil boys were going to drink without me. I just shook my head as I see all the junk they have thrown in the cart, "Let's go boys... we have enough stuff."

Standing in line at the register was the most difficult task of the entire adventure in the store. Word must have spread fast. Not even remotely slow did a crowd start to surround us. Justin stood with the greatest amount of admiration and signed everything that was put in front of him, taking photo after photo. I watched as fans melted at the sight of him. I couldn't complain, I was doing just the same but it was amazing to see his fans around him. But most of all it was great to see that light back in his face. His fans stood beside him through everything. This was going to be another one of those times.

After basically being forced out of the store, we were causing a hazard one security guard said, we found ourselves at the car still surrounded by people. Unlike in L.A., they just watched. If we were at home, they would be right in our faces, trying to see what was in our bags.

My mother's house was a few short minutes from the store. We pulled up and waiting for the security gate to open when I see a white sign in the lawn next to the gate. In black and red lettering I see the words, For Sale.

What the hell was going on? My mother was selling her house? Why on earth was she selling the house?