~~~~~*~~~~~

"That guy is bloody unbelievable!" Libby screamed as she burst into Clare's office that morning, slamming the door closed behind her. Clare looked up from her laptop screen and grimaced as the door rattled under the strain of her friend's anger.

One day she's gonna have that door off its hinges, Clare thought to herself.

Libby stomped across the room towards the couch under the window and flopped down onto it, folding her arms across her chest as she did so. She pouted and jutted out her chin as she met Clare's eyes.

Clare had seen this performance a thousand times before and so she already knew—without having to ask—who the 'guy' in question was. She saved the document that she'd been working on and gave her full attention to her friend.

"What's Dan done this time?" Clare asked, hoping that the explanation wouldn't take too long. She was already far behind on her workload as it was.

Clare and Libby had been friends for eight years; since Libby had been ten and Clare fourteen. They'd been born in the same town in England, and had grown up living in and out of each other’s pockets. When Clare had decided to emigrate to the United States a little over two years ago, Libby had needed little persuading to join her.

Thanks to their good fortune and some useful contacts in the business, both Clare and Libby had found themselves jobs working for the record label RCA, which had a base in Orlando, Florida. Both women worked in the department that ran the fan clubs for the local groups signed to the label—most particularly the group *NSYNC.

Although she considered herself to be very fortunate to have stumbled into such a high profile position, Libby was aware that she was still young and inexperienced for her role. To make up for what she considered to be her weaknesses she was taking a part–time course at the University of Central Florida, majoring in Business Management. Libby hoped that these skills would one day help her to work her way up to a higher position at the label.

Clare on the other hand was one–hundred percent focused on her job. She was very hard–working and often put in more hours than were required for her position. Clare was determined to make her move to the United States a success, and to prove to herself that she'd made the right decision to leave her home and her family behind in the UK.

"Isn't breathing enough?" Libby snapped in answer to Clare's question.

Clare pondered her friend's words for a moment before pushing the desk chair out from underneath herself and getting to her feet. She made her way over to the couch where Libby was sitting and hunched down so that she was at her friend's eye level. It wasn't a very comfortable position, but Clare felt that a little discomfort would be worth tolerating if she could offer her best friend some support.

"Tell me what he's done," Clare said as she met Libby's eyes. "It might help to talk about it?"

Libby chewed down on her bottom lip. She didn't find it easy to talk to Clare about her issues with her boyfriend. Although they were best friends and usually shared everything, Libby felt that opening up about her relationship problems would end up reflecting badly on herself.

She and Dan had been fighting a lot recently, and the strain was beginning to show on her face. Her frayed nerves and hasty temper weren't helping much either, and she'd unwittingly been taking out her problems on those closest to her—most especially Clare.

Libby had met Dan, a personal trainer, at a nightclub where the girls and their friends often hung out socially after work. Dan was a very attractive and charming man, but he also had a quick temper and an even worse reputation with women. Like many before her, Libby had been flattered by his attentions and had fallen into the age–old trap of thinking that she might be the one to change him and tame his wild ways.

With the way things were going, it didn't look likely.

The more Libby pushed, the more Dan pulled away, and even though they'd been dating for almost six months, Libby still felt as though she hadn't yet gotten to know the real Dan.

Unlike Libby, Clare hadn't liked Dan from the start. She hadn't been impressed with his grand romantic gestures, and she'd realised pretty early on that he had no substance behind a lot of his promises and declarations of love.

Because of Libby's feelings for Dan, Clare hadn't given voice to her doubts over her friend's relationship. But, now that she'd begun to witness the effects that the toxic relationship were taking on Libby, Clare was finding it harder and harder to keep her mouth shut.

Libby seemed to somehow be able to overlook Dan's domineering and selfish behaviour—which he'd begun to display pretty early on after the 'honeymoon period' had worn off. She'd stood by him despite her gut instinct constantly trying to persuade her that he wasn't worth the effort that she was putting into the relationship. Now that their arguments were becoming an almost daily ritual, Libby was slowly coming around to the realisation that she'd wasted a good six months of her life on a man that she now found barely tolerable.

"I don't think I can talk about it at the moment," Libby admitted honestly in a shaky voice. "I can't even say his name aloud without wanting to rip his head off and stuff it so far up his ass that he's digesting it for weeks."

Clare smirked at her friend's choice of words. Dan wasn't the only one with a fiery temper.

"Is there anything I can do?" Clare asked as she reached across to rest a comforting hand on one of Libby's shoulders.

Libby gave her a weak smile in return. "Thanks, but I don't even think there's anything that I can do."

Clare nodded gravely and kept her eyes fixed on Libby's face. Although she was partially relieved to hear that her friend was finally admitting to herself that her relationship wasn't working, Clare still didn't like seeing her so upset.

As she carefully chewed over what to say next, Clare recognised the sound of footsteps approaching from the corridor outside of her office, closely followed by loud, raucous conversation. Clare realised in dismay that her office was about to be invaded.

Standing quickly so that she wouldn't draw unnecessary attention to Libby, who was quickly trying to compose herself after having also heard the noise, Clare took a deep breath to prepare herself for what was about to happen.

Less than a minute later, the office door once again burst open and the five members of *NSYNC traipsed inside without waiting for permission to enter. They were all talking over each other and were completely unaware of the private moment that they'd just interrupted.

At the sound of their arrival, Libby quickly averted her face and began to dab at her cheeks with the back of her sleeve. She didn't want anyone but Clare to know that she'd been crying. Libby hoped that the members of the group would be too distracted by their conversation to notice.

Clare gave Libby's shoulder another quick squeeze before making her way back across the room to her desk. Reaching her laptop, Clare realised that it had fallen into a dormant state from having been left unattended for so long, and so she nudged a few of the keys with her fingers to bring it back to life before sitting down in her chair.

Clare was annoyed that the men had burst in so abruptly. She'd spoken to them on earlier occasions about knocking before entering but they still didn't seem to be getting the message. Clare was frustrated as Libby had seemed so close to admitting that she was unhappy in her relationship. It would have been a huge step forward for the younger woman, and Clare had hoped that once Libby had admitted the truth to herself that she might find the confidence to finally kick Dan out of her life for good.

It wasn't the first time that Clare had wished that she'd had a lock fitted on her door.

Struggling to keep her face a mask of discretion, Clare did her best to ignore the five men as they began to make themselves comfortable in the now cramped space. She tried to fight the smile that threatened to emerge on her face, but failed miserably. She couldn't help it—there was something about the group of them together that made her want to grin like a goof whenever they were around her.

Clare and Libby's jobs involved working very closely with the members of the group. They were based at the 'Compound', as it was known, which was owned by the group's manager, Johnny Wright.

Although it looked like a large ranch style house from the outside—with pale grey walls, white windows, and wide sloping red roofs—the Compound's appearance was actually deceiving. It was the central hub for all the work that went into *NSYNC, and where the group spent most of their time both professionally and socially.

The Compound had been set up to be a place for the group to hang out as well as a place for them to work. It was—as Johnny liked to call it—a 'home away from home' where the artists could write, record their music, rehearse and relax in a safe and private environment.

In the grounds of the Compound was a huge lake which was covered in lily pads, an outdoor basketball and volleyball court, a small putting green—which one of the members of the group was obsessed with—and a swimming pool with nearby Jacuzzi.

Inside, the building was split into two levels. The first level contained the rehearsal spaces, a choreography room, three recording studios, a movie theatre, offices and a games room with its own state of the art bowling lane. Upstairs there were more offices—including those used by the senior management, and Johnny Wright himself—plus a fully equipped weight room.

Although both Clare and Libby worked with other artists under the RCA label, their main responsibilities were to *NSYNC. Clare handled the general day–to–day running of the group's fan club, whilst Libby was responsible for their website.

In the eighteen months that they'd worked with the group, Libby and Clare had become very friendly with the members of the group. They often spent time with them both inside and outside of work, and Clare considered them all to be her friends. There was one person, though, who she considered to be a slightly better friend than all the others...

"Don't you know how to knock anymore?" Libby suddenly spat, breaking through Clare's train of thought and bringing her back to the present. Clare watched as Libby shot daggers at the youngest member of the group as he made himself comfortable beside her on the couch.

Justin Timberlake was 6'1" with bright blue eyes and curly hair that he hated with a passion. He spent a lot of his time fussing over it and trying to change it to better suit his tastes. Therefore it was now clipped close to his head and dyed an eye wateringly white blonde.

Justin was popular with the female fans of *NSYNC—thanks to his youthful good looks, cheeky personality and the fact that he was the joint lead singer of the group—but being only eighteen years old, he also had an immature streak that often got him into trouble.

Justin was kept—kindly but firmly—under control by the older members of the group and his mother, who had bought a house in Orlando so that she could be close to him. Although Justin would never admit it out loud he was a complete mummy's boy, and loved having her around even if it did occasionally cramp his style.

Justin stared at Libby in surprise for a moment before a smirk appeared on his face. "Woo–hoo! 'Sup with you, Sniper?" He sniggered as he nudged Libby in the ribs with his elbow and raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

Although it wasn't always obvious, Justin and Libby had a very close friendship. They shared a very similar sense of humour and a love for practical jokes that often got them into hot water with their friends. As they were so similar they had the ability to wind each other up the wrong way. When they did fall out—which happened regularly—it was usually very dramatic and involved lots of name calling and sulking.

Justin's pet name for Libby—Sniper—was due to her resemblance to the sharp–shooting marksmen. When provoked or angry, Libby retaliated sharply with a biting, sarcastic retort that could leave her target reeling. Justin often found himself to be in her firing line.

"I'm so not in the mood for you right now, Timberlake!" Libby sneered at Justin before jumping to her feet and stomping across the room to the exit. As a parting gesture she slammed the door closed behind her and Clare once again cringed at the sound.

"Jeez, what’s eating at her?" Chris asked Clare as he sat in the now vacant seat on the couch.

Christopher Kirkpatrick was twenty–seven years old, and looked the least likely to be a member of a boy band. Due to his pronounced childish streak, he was often mistaken for the youngest rather than the oldest member of *NSYNC. Out of all the members of the group, Chris was the most outgoing. He was also pretty much up for anything, which the record label tried to use to their advantage. They'd currently convinced him to grow his shoulder length hair into dreadlocks, which they'd hoped would give him—and the group—an edge. Chris didn't mind and the style seemed to suit him.

"Can't you guess?" Clare asked as she loaded up her word processor document once again and resumed typing. Although she was trying to focus, her concentration was split between her work and the group's conversation.

"It's something to do with Dan, isn't it?" Lance asked from across the room.

Lance Bass was the people watcher of the group, and although he occasionally tended to be overlooked amongst the more dominant personalities of *NSYNC, he still had lots to say. Lance was a very considerate and sensitive man, and was very good friends with his band mate, Joey.

"Yes," Clare replied without looking up. The last thing she wanted was for the members of *NSYNC to think that she hung off of their every word.

Clare subtly hit the 'tab' and 'alt' keys on the laptop keyboard causing the document that she'd been working on to become minimised behind another that she'd opened. "Sounds like they've had another fight," she said.

"The guy's a jackass," Joey muttered as he shook his head.

Joseph Fatone—better known as Joey—was the comedian of the group. He was always cracking jokes and trying to make people laugh, whether or not he was successful. Joey came from a big, loud Italian family and so he was used to having lots of noise and laughter around him at all times. He was very touchy–feely, which occasionally got on his band mates nerves.

Joey's Italian roots were also responsible for him being awarded the title of 'ladies’ man' of the group, of which he refused to be ashamed. Fortunately, he had a good sense of humour, and so his repeated attempts to flirt with the women at the Compound were rebuffed with good graces.

"No, he's a double jackass," Justin corrected as he jumped to his feet and began angrily pacing the room. "He's done nothin' but treat her badly since the day they got together. She needs to kick that loser to the curb and get with a guy who'll treat her right."

Chris fought back a snigger. Justin's feelings for Libby were common knowledge to everyone except for Libby. Justin was too shy and too decent a man to get involved with a woman already in a relationship, but that hadn't stopped him from mooning over her around his band mates.

"What's it about this time?" JC asked Clare as he perched on the arm rest beside Chris.

Joshua Chasez—known to the group as JC—had blue eyes and short, dark–brown hair. He was a deep thinker, and although he wasn't the oldest member of the group, JC tended to take an unconscious paternal role over the other men. This had earned him the nickname of 'dad' amongst his friends.

JC's father had instilled into him that you treat people the way that you want to be treated, and they were words that JC lived by. His parents had brought him up to take care of the people around him and JC was grateful to them for making that a part of who he was.

"How am I supposed to know that, Shazam?" Clare asked using another nickname that JC occasionally went by. "You guys burst in here before she even had a chance to tell me."

Chris glanced sheepishly at JC and pulled a face. Neither of them had considered the fact that they might've been interrupting something when they'd turned up unexpectedly and they now felt bad for it.

After a few minutes a companionable silence filled the room and Justin finally stopped pacing and found a spot to lean against by the back wall. As usual his mind was completely occupied with thoughts of Libby.

Despite the fact that he cared about her deeply and only really wanted her to be happy, Justin couldn't help but hope that Libby's relationship might soon come to an end. He hoped that if she were once again single that he might find the courage to tell her how he felt about her. The timing had just never seemed right.

As Clare continued to tap away at her keyboard, Chris headed over to have a look at what she was working on as Joey and Lance joined JC by the couch.

"So... what are we up to today?" Clare asked quickly in a feeble attempt to distract Chris as she snidely pulled the top down on her laptop. She didn't want Chris—or any of them— to read a single word of the document that she'd been working on.

"I didn't know you kept a diary," Chris sniggered as he reached past Clare's shoulder to lift the laptop screen and tilt it in his direction. Clare playfully slapped his hands away in protest as her cheeks began to flame with embarrassment. Dammit, I should've known that his beady eyes would uncover my secret.

"There's lots of things you don't know about me, Kirkpatrick," Clare retorted.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"What? I'm supposed to think of something that would be of interest to you just like that, am I?" Clare said, clicking her fingers to emphasise her point.

"Can you cook?" Joey asked randomly as he jumped into the conversation. Clare shook her head in amusement as Joey stared innocently back at her, awaiting her reply. There was only one subject that that held Joey's attention longer than the opposite sex, and that was food.

For once, Clare didn't mind the interruption as it gave her more time to prepare her defence.

"Trust you to be thinking of your stomach, super brain!" Lance said as he reached around the back of the couch to playfully slap the back of Joey's head. Realising that she wouldn't be able to continue her work until they had gone, Clare lifted herself from her chair and walked around the front of her desk to perch on the end. She'd decided to wait until the men had become bored and then she'd carry on with her work. Knowing how short Chris and Joey's attention spans were, Clare figured that it probably wouldn't take that long.

"Scoop, you know that if Joey isn't eating he's either thinkin' about food or he's talkin' about it," Chris chuckled.

"Yes, Joe," Clare said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, "I can cook."

"So how comes in all the times we've been to your pad you've never once cooked for us?" Joey replied, clearly fishing for an invitation to dinner. He raised his eyebrows in what he hoped was an irresistible gesture but Clare was long immune to his charms.

"Because, dear Joseph, I would never cook enough. I know I'm used to catering for a large family, but with you on the guest list there'd be no food left for anyone else!"

The room erupted into laughter at Joey's expense and Clare allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction at the easy way she'd made her friends laugh. Joey, however, quickly moved on. Her words didn't dent his confidence in the slightest and he quickly changed tactics. He made his way over to Clare's desk and slipped into her now vacant chair. If she was gonna mess with him, then he was gonna mess with her.

"So what kinda things d'ya put in your diary, Giddy?" He asked with a grin as his dark eyes sparkled with amusement. Clare narrowed her eyes back at him as the smile tightened on her face. Oh, no...

Joey loved teasing Clare. It was the foundation of their friendship, and yet there was little that Clare could say to him—or him to her—that would cause actual offence. Their fondness for each other ran deeper than that.

Joey had been the creator of the nickname 'Giddy', secretly one of Clare's favourites, as she was always running about from one place to the next with seemingly endless energy. It was one of the things that helped Clare to fit in with the crowd of energetic, young males that made up *NSYNC.

"Funnily enough there is a reason why it's called a diary. To signify privacy. Privacy from the people you don't wish to have reading your inner–most thoughts. Therefore, if I were writing a diary—which I'm not—it still wouldn't be for your eyes."

"I'm pretty sure I saw my name on the screen just now," Chris added with a chuckle. Like Joey, Chris was another person who loved teasing Clare. She shot him a withering glare—she was aware that from where he was standing he probably had seen his name on the screen. Chris beamed back. He had her cornered, and they both knew it.

"What do you think that means?" Clare argued. "Nothin'. Not did–a–lee–squat. There are thousands of people called Chris all over the world and I know at least three of them."

"I don't care what you say," Chris replied with a laugh. "I know you wrote something about me in there, and judging by your pathetic attempts to blow me off the scent, I'm guessing it's something juicy!"

The men once again burst out laughing as Clare's face began to turn scarlet. Oh God, this is so embarrassing, she thought. Damn Chris and his quick, snooping eyes.

"Maybe I do," Clare replied calmly as she attempted to turn the attention back onto Chris to give herself a chance to gain some composure. She could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks and she knew that her face must look a real picture. "But I wouldn't get too excited if I were you. I only write about how hard it is to stop myself throwing my breakfast up every mornin' once I see your ugly mug."

Chris took the insult in good humour and allowed Clare her smug grin of victory. He'd back off—for now—but he'd keep the nugget of information about her diary stored away in his brain for another day. He wasn't about to let that go so easily.

"So am I in here?" Joey asked as he tilted the laptop towards himself and peered at the screen. A puzzled expression crossed his unshaven face as he realised that the computer had turned off. Clare chuckled.

"Automatic shut off, Joe," she replied smugly. "I think you'll find you need a six letter password to get past that screen. And do you know the password?"

"No," they said simultaneously.

Joey hesitated as he considered all the six letter words that Clare might've used for a secure password. He suddenly grinned when his own name flashed into his mind.

"Six letters? Then I am in here!" He beamed. He met Clare's eyes and began to spell out his guess. "J…O...S...E...P..."

"You wish!" Clare sniggered as she fought the panic that rose up in her chest at the thought of him guessing correctly. It was a long shot but not completely out of the realms of reality. It now seemed really obvious to Clare why it had been a bad idea to write her personal journal on her work computer.

"I bet we're all in there," JC said from across the room causing Clare's cheeks to flush and her heart to skip a beat. She didn't even need to turn her head to know who'd been speaking—she knew that voice better than anyone's.

"And who asked you?" Clare asked as she turned her head so that she could playfully narrow her eyes at him. JC flashed her a crooked grin and shrugged.

"I think JC is right, otherwise why would she be this defensive?" Lance added throwing in his own two cents.

Clare rolled her eyes. Great. Now they're all ganging up on me. Where's Libby when I need her?

"I think she writes about her secret fantasies in there," Chris teased as he watched Clare drag her eyes away from JC. Like Justin, Clare had no idea how indiscreet she really was about her feelings. Everyone knew that Clare liked JC. Even JC himself.

"Then you would be so wrong," Clare argued as she once again narrowed her eyes in Chris' direction. "You know, I've never considered you lot to be big–headed. I guess I've been totally wrong there, huh?"

Before Chris could come back with his usual sarcastic reply, the conversation was cut short by the shrill ringing of Clare's desk phone. She snatched it up out of the cradle in a smooth well practised movement and avoided Chris' eyes as she answered in her standard response.

Clare could never afford to answer her phone unprofessionally as the caller could be anyone from a colleague at the record label to a fan seeking a signed photograph of the group. It turned out to be a courtesy call from the two security guards who worked at the Compound. Although the building was located in a semi–rural part of Orlando, due to the growing popularity of the group it had begun to receive more and more unwelcome attention from fans.

As the members of *NSYNC spent quite a bit of time hanging around the Compound when not working, there was often a crowd of adolescent girls hanging around the gates hoping for a glimpse of their icons. Occasionally these young women made their way into the grounds, which led to them having to be escorted out by the security team. When this happened it was standard procedure for the fan club staff and the members of the group to be alerted.

"How many are there this time?" Clare asked as she rolled her eyes.

Clare found the reactions of the group's fans confusing and at times frustrating. She'd had moments of fan hysteria in her day, but she'd since grown up and now found it hard to comprehend why the fans thought that screaming and crying might possibly attract the attentions of a man who was most likely older—not to mention wiser—than they.

"That many?" Clare exclaimed as she flicked her eyes across the room between the five men whose focus was now entirely fixed on her. She tried to keep her face composed so as not to alarm them but the concern showed in her eyes. "I definitely gave you that list. Yes, I did. We went over this last week, remember? I've told you before that there's an order out for three out of the five of those girls. Yes, it has happened before. I gave you the paperwork so that this wouldn't happen."

Chris shot JC a warning glance but JC simply shrugged. He had the most laid–back attitude when it came to the fans. As far as JC was concerned the fans acted out of love, and even though that love could sometimes get a little crazy, he knew that their hearts were in the right place.

The term order was well known amongst the group. It stood for restraining order, which had unfortunately been taken out against a few of the group's more aggressive and determined fans. Sometimes extreme measures had to be taken to keep the members of *NSYNC safe.

In this instance, however, the girls in question just didn't seem to be getting the message. Not for the first time they'd managed to scale the perimeter gates and had been in the process of making their way across the lawn towards the main entrance of the Compound when they'd been apprehended by security. They were currently being held in the separate security building to await the arrival of the cops.

Finishing up the phone call, Clare slammed the receiver back down onto the cradle in a sudden fit of rage and let out a groan of frustration. Chris watched her with intensely worried eyes. He'd overheard enough of the conversation to know that something was wrong, but he wanted to hear it from Clare directly before he let his imagination run away with him.

Out of all the guys in the group, Chris had the hardest time dealing with the effects of his fame. When off stage he wished to maintain as normal a life as possible and be able to drop the persona of 'Chris from *NSYNC' and just be himself. He didn't think that this was too much to ask, and he relied on the security team to make this possible for him.

Chris absolutely loved his job and understood that in order to do what he loved he had to make certain sacrifices. However, the idea that breaches in security were possible made him feel very uncomfortable.

"I miss the days when you were nobodies," Clare half–joked as her mood took another nose dive. Now instead of finishing up the work that she was already behind on she'd have to make an unscheduled trip downstairs to sort out the situation. After all, fan related issues were primarily her responsibility to resolve.

"What was all that about?" Chris asked as he began chewing anxiously on a thumbnail. Although he was trying hard to quit, biting his nails was Chris' nervous habit and one that he was finding particularly hard to break.

"Do you remember those girls who almost tore Lance and Joey to pieces last year?" Clare asked him with a sigh.

Chris nodded gloomily. As if he could forget...

+ + +

The group had been performing in New York City that night. The crowd had been full of energy and after the show the guys had left the stage and headed straight round to their dressing rooms before the final instrumental section of the last song had finished—just like normal.

JC, Justin and Chris had all been changing into their own clothes from their stage outfits when they'd heard giggling coming from somewhere in the room. They'd been quick to conclude that they weren't alone.

Realising that if they undressed any further then they could be prosecuted for indecent exposure, JC, Justin and Chris quickly went about discovering the source of the laughter before escorting the three young women responsible out into the corridor outside.

Unfortunately, Joey and Lance had been delayed in leaving the stage and had arrived just as the three girls were being removed from the room. Seeing the unsuspecting pair the young women had pounced on them and tried their best to remove the men's clothes and jewellery in a frenzy of arms and hands.

Joey had clutched at his diamond encrusted Superman chain for dear life—it was his most prized possession—and had gotten a broken wrist for his efforts. Lance, trying his best to remain fully clothed, had received a broken arm and a nasty nosebleed before the girls had finally been hauled away by the venue's security team.

It had been an experience that the group hoped never to have repeated. And understandably it had left a considerable scar on all of their psyches.

+ + +

"Well, your friends have decided to pay us another visit," Clare explained as she let out a huff of annoyance. "I mean, what do those security guards actually do for their money? Sleep on the job?"

"That'd be my guess," Libby said quietly as she appeared in the doorway. She'd only caught the last part of the conversation but had understood in just those few words exactly what was going on. At her arrival Justin straightened his posture and flashed her a brief smile, which she failed to notice.

"What's happened?" Libby asked Clare.

"We've just had a visit from the NYC crazies," Clare explained as she made her way to the window. As her office was at the front of the building, Clare had a good view of the gated entrance and the car lot below, as well as the small, brick structure that the security team used as their base. It was the perfect location for spying.

Clare and Libby had a habit of making up pet names for the various groups of fans that they came in contact with through their jobs. They usually fell into several categories: the screamers, the criers, the grabbers, the obscene sign makers and—Clare's favourite—those who attended the group's concerts and public appearances in fancy dress. The NYC crazies fell into the last, and worst, of all of the categories—the nutters.

"What about the—"

"—restraining order?"

"Mm–hmm."

"It seems that someone forgot to print out my latest email update," Clare answered, her expression revealing her true feelings. She took her job very seriously and had little patience for others who didn't have a similarly strong work ethic to herself.

"I swear that's the third time this month those guys have messed up," Libby grumbled in response.

"Do ya' wanna come and talk some sense into these girls?" Clare asked her friend as a sudden twinkle appeared in her eyes. The thought of releasing some of her pent up anger in an appropriate setting filled her with glee.

"You betcha," Libby replied with a sideways grin. "I am in exactly the right mood for this today."

Before leaving the room together, Clare glanced over at Justin, who hadn't taken his eyes off of her friend since she'd reappeared. Libby was completely unaware of his stare, which had given him the opportunity to watch her without the fear of being caught looking.

Catching his eye, Clare smirked in amusement as his cheeks began to flush with embarrassment. "You know, if I'd have known before I took this job that I'd have to put my ass on the line to protect yours," she said, "I wouldn't 'ave taken it.’ Cause, in reality, you're really not worth it." She flashed him a sarcastic grin before heading out the door with Libby following close behind.

As he watched them leave, Justin rested his head back against the wall and let out an unhappy sigh. "Why does everyone have a problem with me today?" He asked no one in particular.

"Because you are the problem, little one," Chris replied with a teasing smile. Chris was a big fan of teasing Justin, too.

JC smiled fondly at the gloomy expression on Justin's face before turning his attention to more pressing matters. He stood up and made his way over to the window.

"I gotta see this," he admitted with a laugh.

In JC's opinion, Clare and Libby were two of the most harmless looking women that he knew, and he couldn't wait to see them ripping into the three burly security guards who worked at the Compound. It would certainly be entertaining.

"It could get ugly," Lance agreed as he joined JC at the window. Not too long after they were joined by a very glum looking Justin.

"Password... password... I need a password," Joey muttered from where he still sat in Clare's desk chair. He began rubbing his hands together mischievously as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down like a comic villain. "Erm... *NSYNC?"

Chris rolled his eyes behind Joey's back. "That's only five letters, dumbass."

"Not with the little star thingy," Joey remarked as he flipped his middle finger at Chris before typing his guess into the text box. After hitting the enter key with his third finger, Joey stared at the computer screen and waited. However, it wasn't long before the computer rejected his attempt, causing Joey's face to fall.

"Damn. Anyone else got any suggestions?"

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Not more than fifteen minutes later, the showdown between the girls and the security team was over. JC, Lance and Justin hastily moved away from the window and gestured over to Joey and Chris that the two women were making their way back into the building.

Although neither Chris nor Joey made any immediate attempts to move, the three other men quickly dispersed throughout the room and tried to find ways of making themselves look busy. The last thing they wanted was for the girls to suspect that they'd been spying on them.

"Watch out, Joe. Giddy's on her way back up," Chris warned his friend as he rapped his hands on both of Joey's shoulders. "If she sees you tryin' to get into her computer we'll be looking for a replacement by the end of the week."

Laughing at his own joke, Chris headed across the room to find himself a seat on the arm of the couch, which was now being occupied by JC, Lance and Justin. They were trying—and failing—to look as though they'd been sitting there the whole time. Inconspicuous they certainly were not.

It was a few more minutes before the men heard the sound of laughter in the stairwell outside the office and they exchanged a glance amongst themselves as they strained to overhear the girls' conversation. They hadn't been expecting the women to return in such a good mood.

"I can't believe they fell for the 'we know Justin' trick," Clare muttered as she entered the office with a giggling Libby following closely behind. "It's only the oldest trick in the book!"

"But they do know Justin, Clare," Libby sniggered sarcastically. "Cut them some slack."

Clare glanced over her shoulder at Libby and smirked. Sometimes the nerve of the fans was almost too much to bear, and the girls had to find a way to laugh about it or risk going crazy. "Well, they should've visited him at home then, shouldn't they!" Clare chuckled back.

Libby sniggered at the idea. "They didn't seriously think we'd swallow that crap, did they?"

Libby looked up and noticed for the first time the five pairs of eyes who were all staring at her from various positions around the room. "Oh, jeez," she muttered. "Are you still here? You'd think me and Clare were the only ones who did any work around here."

Noticing that Joey was still sitting behind her desk with his hands suspiciously close to her laptop keyboard, Clare made a beeline towards him as a frown crossed her face. Although he'd carefully placed the flap down on the computer so that she wouldn't suspect what he'd been up to, Clare wasn't that easily fooled.

Standing behind the chair, Clare gave it a hefty shove forward to encourage Joey to get up. "Come on, Fat One, outta my seat. I've got work to do."

When he didn't move, Clare reached forward and playfully flicked his right ear with her middle finger.

"Ouch!" Joey hissed as he reached up to rub at his stinging earlobe and narrowed his eyes at her over his shoulder. "That hurt, Giddy."

"It was meant to," Clare giggled as she gave the chair another hefty shove. "Now, move it!"

Libby smiled to herself as she watched Joey deliberately climb out of Clare's chair at a snail like pace. He hammed it up as he headed over towards the couch, where the other members of the group had gathered, purposefully dragging his feet the whole way. Catching her eye, Joey pouted at Libby in an attempt to get some sympathy but Libby only laughed at him.

"I'd better get back to work, too," Libby said reluctantly as she noticed that Clare had already resumed her position behind her desk and was once again typing away at her keyboard. "Do ya' realise we've received one–hundred applications this week alone for membership to this fan club? You'd think these fans would realise their mistake and join the Backstreet Boys fan club instead!" Libby grinned and shot a glance over at the men to gauge their reaction to her joke.

"What?" Clare exclaimed as she leaned back in her chair and grinned over at Libby. "You mean this isn't the BSB club?" She covered her mouth with one hand and gasped dramatically. "Oh, my God! I think I've made a terrible mistake!"

"Ooh, she thinks she's so funny, doesn't she!" Joey sneered playfully as he shot Clare a withering look. 

Clare grinned back at him and shook her head playfully. "Can it, Kevin."

Clare knew that the men could handle a few jokes about the Backstreet Boys. Although in public they were considered to be 'rivals', there was no real bad blood between the  groups. In fact, on occasions they'd even hung out socially together.

It had been a marketing strategy devised by the record label to publically compare the two groups, in the hope that a fan rivalry might develop which could, in turn, lead to increased record sales for all. When it came down to it, it was mostly about money.

It wasn't something that the girls of the fan club, nor the guys in *NSYNC, felt completely comfortable with, but they couldn't afford to throw their weight around until *NSYNC was more established as a group. They realised that for now—until they had a few hit albums under their belt—they'd have to simply bite their tongues and go along with whatever the label considered best. But that didn't mean that it was easy.

In the meantime they handled any tensions that they might feel about the 'rivalry' in their usual way—with humour. It didn't stop Clare and Libby teasing them relentlessly about it, however.

"Kevin? Really?" Joey remarked with a nasty smirk on his face as he got to his feet and headed straight towards Clare's desk.

"She’s dissin’ ya, man," Chris sniggered as he watched the exchange between Joey and Clare.

"Says the AJ clone," Clare teased as she leaned past Joey's body to smirk at Chris.

"Ooh, I think this girl needs to be taught a lesson," Joey said as he shot a sideways glance at Chris. He turned back around to face Clare and grinned mischievously.

To ward him off in case he tried anything funny, Clare spread her hands out in front of her and watched his movements carefully in case he tried to grab her. Joey enjoyed embarrassing the women by trying to pick them up and throw them over his shoulder which he—but not the women—found hilariously funny. Clare had learned over time to be wary whenever Joey approached her unexpectedly.

Anticipating Joey's plan, Chris quickly made his way around to the opposite side of Clare's desk so that he could successfully block off any routes she had for escaping. Chris made sure to keep out of Clare's eye–line so that she didn't notice him until it was already too late.

Clare realised that her options were now severely limited, and so made a rushed and very ungraceful attempt to slip out from underneath her desk. This put her in the perfect position to be caught by Lane, who had sneakily rushed around to catch her before she could get away. Lance reached for Clare's wrists and pulled her through the small gap under the desk before wrapping both her own arms around herself like a strait–jacket.

"Oh, God," Clare laughed in embarrassment as her cheeks began to flush. I must look a complete sight, she groaned inwardly. And of course, JC is here to witness this humiliating moment. Wonderful.

"Who are you, anyway?" Clare asked Lance as she tried to divert the attention away from herself. "I don't remember there being two blondes in BSB!"

"Oh, you've done it now," Lance told Clare as he chuckled close to her ear. He quickly released her arms, making it possible for him to begin tickling her just beneath her ribs. He knew that Clare was ridiculously ticklish and that she would be paralysed with giggles almost immediately. Across the room, both JC and Justin roared with laughter at the sight of Clare collapsing against Lance as she gave way to her uncontrollable laughter.

"Stop!" She spluttered through gasps for air. "You know how I... hate... being... tickled!"

"You know what to do, Clare," Chris told her as he wiggled a finger at her as though she were a naughty child. "You have to retract it."

"That's right," Lance agreed. "You have to take it back."

"No way, Poofu," Clare replied, using one of Lance's old childhood nicknames that she knew he hated. Nothing embarrassed him more than the mention of the word 'Poofu'.

"You know it won't stop till you take it back," Joey added as he came to Lance's aid and began to join in with the tickling. At the feel of two pairs of hands at her waist, Clare made an attempt to break free but was unable to coordinate her actions due to her helpless giggling.

"Libby, help me!" Clare shrieked as she looked desperately around the room for her friend.

Libby had sensibly remained in the doorway to prevent herself from being dragged into the tickle fest. She knew that she should help her friend, but she was having far too much fun being a spectator.

"ELI… ZA… BETH!"

After watching Clare squirm for a few more seconds, Libby decided that enough was enough. She took a few tentative steps towards where Clare was being held captive but kept her eyes firmly fixed on Lance and Joey just in case one of them decided to grab her. Libby wasn't sure how she was supposed to grapple both Lance and Joey away from Clare at the same time, but she knew that she had to at least try.

As she made her way towards her friend, Libby suddenly felt the sensation of being hoisted off of the floor and she let out a squeal of protest as the ground unexpectedly disappeared from beneath her feet. A familiar deep chuckle next to her ear revealed the identity of her captor, and Libby began to violently kick her legs out in front of her in an attempt to unsteady his hold on her.

"Nooo... Chris!" Libby screeched at an almost ear–splitting volume. "Put me down!" She demanded in her most threatening voice but it failed to have any affect.

"No can do," Chris said through his laughter as he swung Libby gently from side to side. He was the shortest of the men in the group, but that didn't mean that Chris was the weakest. "Clare must pay for her sins," he explained. "We mustn't get in the way of justice, Libs."

"Justice, my ass," Clare gasped from across the room as she neared exhaustion from all the laughing and wriggling that she'd been doing. "Okay, okay, I take it back. There, are you happy?"

"What do you take back?" Lance asked Clare as he and Joey tentatively removed their hands for a moment of relief as she prepared her apology.

"The sneakers I got last week?" Clare remarked as she slapped away their arms and hands as they once again began to reach for her.

"Wrong," Joey said as he and Lance resumed their assault.

"You’re not… the …Backstreet… Boys," Clare spluttered.

"Yeah, you're more like the Spice Girls," Libby sniggered under her breath as she aimed a backwards kick in the direction of Chris' groin. He masterfully dodged the blow by swinging her to the side once again and Libby let out a huff of defeat. Chris tightened his grip around her chest in response to her insult.

"Chris!" Libby squeaked as she renewed her wriggling in an attempt to get free. "Do you mind not pushing my boobs into my back? They're actually at a size I'm happy with!"

At her words Chris looked meaningfully over at Justin and laughed as the younger man's cheeks began to flame with embarrassment. Libby deliberately avoided looking anywhere near Justin and mentally swore at Chris for humiliating her so in front of him.

"Who are we?" Joey began to chant loudly before glancing around at his band mates for backup. Pretty soon the room was filled with their voices repeating the same words over and over again.

"*NSYNC!" Clare yelled to be heard over the top of them. "Quit already! I said it! You're *NSYNC."

Almost immediately the tickling stopped and both Joey and Lance turned to each other and exchanged a rowdy high five.

"There now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Justin quipped from across the room, earning himself a glare from Clare in response. Clare attempted—in as ladylike a way as possible—to rearrange her two–piece work suit, which had become dishevelled in all the chaos and deliberately avoided meeting any of their eyes.

"Okay, Christopher. Time to put me down now," Libby said in a strained voice from where Chris was still holding her up off of the ground.

"Say Chris is king!" Chris insisted with a smirk as he once again swung Libby from side to side. He wouldn't admit it out loud but the muscles in his arms were already burning with the strain of lifting her, and it was getting harder for him to maintain the smile on his face.

"In your dreams!" Libby retaliated with a snort.

"Say it or you don’t get down."

"Like you're going to be able to do this all day," Libby replied with a laugh. "I know how much I weigh, Kirkpatrick, and I can guarantee that it's going to start hurting soon."

"Yeah," Chris admitted with a relieved sigh as he placed her back onto her feet and stretched his arms out in front of him to ease his cramping muscles. "You're getting heavy."

"Well, thanks for nothin’, Lib!" Clare remarked as she finished rearranging her clothes and glanced over at her friend.

"Sorry, but I kinda got held up," Libby said pointedly as she shot another glare at Chris.

"So is anyone up for some ballin'?" Justin asked the group after detecting the tension that was beginning to form between the two women. The tickling and lifting had been a joke, but the girls' embarrassment was all too real and Justin was glad to have an opportunity to change the subject.

General utterances of agreement filled the room and before too long the men were on their feet and heading out of the office to go down to the outdoor basketball court. The girls, meanwhile, stayed behind.

Although they were allowed to use the Compound facilities, Libby and Clare always tried to remember that they were on corporate property and weren't meant to spend their working hours playing around with the members of *NSYNC.

"I'll catch up," Chris said to the other men as he watched them depart without him. "I've gotta run something by Gid'."

Clare waited until everyone else had gone before looking up at the elder man as he stood awkwardly by her desk. She raised a questioning eyebrow at him but he refused to meet her eyes until he was sure that everyone, including Libby, was out of earshot.

It was rare for Chris to spend much time alone with the females of the fan club. That, combined with the serious expression on his face made Clare realise immediately that something was up. She watched him curiously for several minutes before realising that he was waiting for her to speak first.

"Okay, Lucky, spit it out. I don't have all day," Clare said with a slight chuckle.

Chris let out a deep sigh and muttered awkwardly under his breath, "Lately I'm finding myself attracted to this woman..."

Clare tried her best to hide her surprise. In the nearly two years since she'd known him, Chris had rarely—if ever—offered up personal information about himself to her so readily. He was more of a man's man, and usually kept his relationship with the women in his life borderline friendly at best.

"Okay," Clare stammered, "may I ask why you're telling me this?" Oh, God, please don't let it be me.

"Do you think I should ask her out?" Chris asked as he dodged her question. Clare sat back in her seat and looked up at him helplessly. Surely he didn't expect her to answer such a loaded question without any of the information?

"Chris, I couldn't possibly answer that. I don't even know who you're talking about!"

"Well, it doesn't really matter. The point is, should I ask someone out on a date or not?"

Clare considered his words once again before answering. "Are you asking me for my professional opinion as an employee of RCA, or as a friend?" Clare asked unsure whether it was the reputation of the group that he was concerned about or something much more personal.

"Yeah, 'cause if it's personal advice that you're looking for then I'd go and ask somewhere else," Libby chimed in from the doorway.

Both Chris and Clare's heads snapped around to face her simultaneously and Libby realised for the first time that she may have interrupted something not meant for her ears. Shrugging innocently, Libby gestured at Clare's wide open office door. "Sorry but the door was open and I couldn't find my stapler."

Clare's eyes flicked up to scan Chris' face but she could tell at once that he'd already shut down. Whatever it was that he'd been trying to say would have to wait for another occasion.

"Nice one, Lib," Clare muttered as Chris left the room without another word. Libby pulled a sheepish face at her friend as she watched him leave.

"Whoops," Libby mumbled as she made her way across the room to perch on the end of Clare's desk. "But I was right. What do you know about relationships? You've had what... one in the past year?"

"He’d be better off asking your advice then would he, Elizabeth?"

Libby let out a snort of amusement and rolled her eyes. "Fair point. I guess neither of us is particularly qualified to give out relationship advice."

"In my defence, I don't have time for boyfriends," Clare said confidently, ignoring the niggling voice in her head that told her otherwise. At her words Libby shot her a knowing, sideways grin.

Clare hadn’t had many boyfriends in recent months because she did genuinely have a busy job. However, that was more of an excuse than a reason. She didn't go on many dates, or make much of an effort to get to know new people because she was already madly in love with someone. And that someone was JC.

Clare was head–over–heels crazy about him, but far too terrified to ever admit her feelings to anyone other than Libby. Even though she had a niggling feeling that he might feel the same way about her, Clare had never broached the subject with him. Every day they flirted and teased each other but it never crossed into anything other than 'friends' territory.

Although it was painful for Clare not to be able to act on her feelings, it also meant that she could remain in her comfort zone and dream about the day that they might finally get together. All without having to deal with any of the messy, painful emotions that were involved in being in a relationship.

"You’re never gonna have a boyfriend, then?" Libby asked as she nudged Clare on the shoulder and raised a mocking eyebrow.

Clare narrowed her eyes playfully and laughed. "Shut it, you!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

Justin was feeling considerably sorry for himself.

"Why is it that when the women in this place have a problem, I’m the one who gets all the abuse?" He asked Joey and Lance as he bounced a basketball onto the court before catching it and throwing it towards the hoop. It turned out that the group didn't have enough players for a proper game of basketball, and so they were taking it in turns to shoot at the basket.

"It must be that face," Lance said with a smile as he watched the ball fly through the air and land in the centre of the hoop.

"That face?" Joey asked as he joined Lance in teasing the youngster. "Nah, It couldn’t be that face. Not the face of one so young."

"C’mon guys, I’m serious!" Justin exclaimed as he collected the ball from where it had bounced away from the basket and tossed it towards Joey. "Every time I walk into a room that Libby’s in she walks out. What’s the deal?"

Lance and Joey exchanged a look as Joey lined up his shot.

"It's simple, she’s in love with you," Lance said matter–of–factly as he smiled at Justin.

"She’s always down on me. She won’t stay ‘round me for longer than five minutes at a time. Yeah, I can see how you would come up with that," Justin replied dryly.

The three men watched as Joey threw the ball in the direction of the basket. It also shot straight through the centre of the hoop.

"I’m telling ya, that’s just her way of hiding it," Lance continued.

"Sometimes she looks at me like she hates me," Justin told him, his eyes wide and serious.

"She doesn’t hate you," Joey said as he collected the ball and bounced it once before jumping up to sink it through the basket once again.

"What would you call it then?"

"It’s love, man," Lance replied with a smile as Joey released his hands from the hoop and landed on his feet with a grunt, the ball bouncing beside him a few seconds later.

"No way," Justin said, shaking his head as he went to retrieve the ball for Lance's turn. "I'm tellin' ya, you're way off."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby took a few steps backwards away from the tall storage cabinet in the corner of Clare's office, reading aloud from the competition entry that she was holding in one hand. In the other hand, she held a fistful of coloured paperclips, which she had just collected from inside the cupboard.

Both her and Clare had spent the past hour or so going through the applications for a competition that they’d organised to find *NSYNC's 'biggest fan'. The competition was aimed at eleven to eighteen year old fans, and each entry required a photograph and a minimum twenty word summary of why the applicant felt they deserved to meet *NSYNC.

"I wanna meet *NSYNC because JC is my life. I have posters of him all over my bedroom walls, and he is always coming into my dreams at night," Libby sniggered as she read aloud. She looked up to meet Clare's eyes with a grin.

"So that's where he's been disappearing off to," Clare replied dryly.

"Did someone say something?" JC asked unexpectedly as he put his head around the open doorframe and smiled at both of the women. Clare tried her best not to react to his sudden appearance, but she felt her palms begin to sweat at his arrival and she immediately straightened up her posture. Fortunately, only Libby noticed the change in her.

"We're just going over the competition entries," Libby told him pleasantly as she waved the sheets of paper in her hand by way of explanation. "There's one here for you," she said before re–reading the application aloud. Both women watched and waited for JC's reaction, but he shrugged it off with his usual good–humour.

"What can I say? Women find me irresistible!" JC said with an unaffected shrug.

Libby sniggered and rolled her eyes. "I dunno," she said as she scrunched her nose up, regarding his face carefully. "I think I could resist. You're not that cute."

"Clearly a few fans would disagree with you there," JC quipped back with a grin.

Clare watched the exchange between her friend and JC and contemplated whether or not to join in. Normally she would avoid any conversation that touched anywhere near personal feelings, or whether someone was attractive or not, but she felt in this instance that remaining silent only made her seem more conspicuous.

"Maybe if he spent less time on his hair and more time in the gym?" Clare remarked with a smirk, enjoying the look of pretend hurt that crossed JC's face at her words. She was only teasing him, but Clare knew that her comment would deliver a very small sting.

Everyone who knew JC was aware that he spent hardly any time on his hair, and yet it always appeared perfectly coiffed. This left him open to relentless mocking from the other members of *NSYNC. And despite the many hours that he spent working out in the gym, rehearsing in boiling hot dance studios and performing under glaring lights, JC's body refused to deliver much evidence of all of his hard work. He was tall, thin, and lean and he hated it.

"Ouch," JC replied as he shook his head bashfully and looked up at Clare though his lashes. "You got me."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Later that afternoon, Libby left the confines of Clare's office to return to her own a little further down the hall. Despite getting a good start on the huge pile of applications that she'd had to sort through and keeping herself busy during the morning, she'd still found herself drifting off occasionally as her problems with Dan came to the forefront of her mind.

It was stupid really. She wasn't an idiot, and she knew the way that Dan was treating her wasn't right. What she couldn't work out was why she was allowing him to behave in such a way without her doing something about it.

Her previous relationships hadn't been perfect, and obviously they hadn't lasted the distance, but Libby had never allowed herself to be disrespected so blatantly before. Deep down she knew that it was wrong and that she shouldn't remain in such a toxic relationship but neither could she consider herself completely blameless in the matter.

After all, she did have feelings for Justin. And even though she hadn't—and wouldn't—act on those feelings, she was still aware that she wasn't being one–hundred percent truthful with Dan either.

She knew that her feelings for Justin were completely misplaced and highly ill–considered. He was technically a colleague of hers and a highly famous one at that. Not to mention the fact that he was only eighteen years old, and was the record label's 'golden ticket' thanks to his movie star good looks. The last thing that the label would want would be for their youngest, most appealing lead–singer to find himself a long–term girlfriend. If anything they liked their artists to appear as squeaky–clean and as available as possible, despite how unrealistic that was for a group of men in their early to late twenties.

Libby let out a frustrated sigh as she considered her inability to protect her heart from trouble. From the first day that she'd met Justin she'd known that he would be a problem for her.

There she'd been, straight off the plane from the UK, with everything in her life having been turned upside down only to discover that she'd be working closely with a man who she couldn't seem to keep her eyes off of. Not a good recipe for someone relying on their job so that they could keep their work visa.

Justin's smile, clear blue eyes and athletic body had caught her initial attention but it had been his personality that had kept her interest. He was funny, kind, and had a way of making her smile and laugh even when she didn't feel like it. He'd asked questions about her past and listened carefully to her answers; and had been completely understanding during her first few months in America when she'd felt incredibly homesick and unsettled in her new life. He'd paid her attentions but not in a sleazy way that made her feel uncomfortable, and most importantly, he'd treated her as an equal from the get–go. For some reason she hadn't been expecting that at all.

Even though Libby had never seen an episode of the Mickey Mouse Club, or even heard of the group *NSYNC before she'd moved to the States, she'd still carried with her expectations of Justin Timberlake being an arrogant, cocky, ass. Needless to say, the real Justin had taken her completely by surprise.

In the early days they'd hung out together around the office as they'd gotten to know each other. Then Clare had begun inviting the members of the group back to her and Libby's apartment after work, where they'd all hung out and had a laugh together. It had been there that Libby had discovered that Justin had a childish streak that presented itself at unexpected times. He'd have her crying on the floor with laughter just by pulling a comical face or relaying one of his crazy jokes.

They'd both realised that they shared a similar sense of humour, and being only three months apart in age, they had quite a lot in common despite their different upbringings. Not only this, but Libby soon realised that Justin was crazy talented, which she happened to find incredibly attractive in the opposite sex.

Libby had been several weeks into her new job before she'd heard the group's music for the first time. In fact, she'd almost forgotten their reason for being all together in Florida, even though she'd known that they were from all different places across America, and would have been very unlikely to have crossed paths otherwise.

She'd stopped thinking of them collectively as *NSYNC and instead thought of them as individuals that happened to work together. However, when she'd heard their harmonious sound for the first time she'd known that it was destiny for them to be together as a group to produce such heart–felt music.

Libby enjoyed watching them sing together. There was something about Justin's face in particular when he performed that she liked, and of course, she couldn't deny that she'd enjoyed the sound that they'd produced. If she hadn't started to develop feelings for him before then she certainly had after watching him sing for the first time.

After that she'd found herself seeking him out at work. Subtly, of course, and always with a reason or errand that required his time or attention. She'd never have admitted it to herself then but her feelings had certainly crossed the line between friendship and something more during those early days at the Compound.

As the popularity of the group had grown, and the men had begun to start touring Europe and America with their concerts—sometimes being away for months at a time—Libby had found that she'd begun to miss them. Justin in particular.

At first she'd kept her feelings to herself but eventually she'd confided in Clare, who had been sympathetic and reassuring if a little troubled to hear of her friend's growing feelings for the young man.

Nowadays, Justin was fast becoming one of her very best friends, second only to Clare. Libby considered him to be someone who she could talk to about anything. There was only one exception—Justin never wanted to talk about Dan.

He'd never verbalised his feelings to her but Libby had noticed that there was something in his face when Dan's name was mentioned that prevented her from raising the subject around him, or continuing a conversation already in progress when he appeared.

Not that she was particularly thrilled to hear about his relationships either—and she'd certainly had to struggle her way through that on occasions—but thanks to Justin's unwillingness to discuss anything about her relationship, Libby felt torn between keeping him as a good friend—albeit slightly at a distance—or risking there being an atmosphere between them if she mentioned her boyfriend.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I’m gonna be captain," Clare announced loudly as she strode onto the basketball court with Libby trailing behind her. It was well after four p.m., and Clare had managed to persuade Libby to join her in crashing the men's game of basketball.

"I'll be the other captain, then," JC said rising to meet the challenge in Clare's eyes.

"Fine," Justin said as he headed over to where the other players were gathering in the centre of the court. "Captains, choose your teams."

Although he'd been enjoying shooting hoops with JC, Justin was always willing to participate in a proper game of basketball when there were enough players to make it worthwhile. He'd clocked the determination in Clare's eyes when she'd looked at JC, and he'd realised that if the girls were serious about joining their game then it was worth him taking Clare's challenge seriously.

"I’m having Justin," Clare said before JC could even open his mouth to speak.

"Chris, you’re with me," JC said, cutting eyes at Clare for choosing his best player before he'd had the chance.

"Lib, you’re mine."

"Fat One, with me."

"Sorry, dude, gotta phone call to make," Joey called as he made his way out of the court and back towards the building, his cell–phone already attached to one ear. He lifted his spare arm to wave an apology at JC.

"Give Lisa our love!" Libby called after him as he walked through the main doors and disappeared from view. Libby knew from habit that he would be calling his long–term girlfriend, Lisa, who was away on a college work–placement in another state.

Lisa was studying architecture full–time at the same college that Libby attended, and so far this year she'd travelled to three different states to do dissertations on different architectural styles. She was currently in Boston studying the Old State House, and if things carried on according to schedule, she was due to travel back to Florida at the end of the week.

"So that just leaves poor Lance to be the final addition to the loser’s side," Libby teased as she turned to face JC and Chris and poked her tongue out at them playfully. Justin watched her with a grin on his face and laughed as JC narrowed his eyes in return.

"Them’s fightin’ words, them is!" JC said as he began to rub his hands together with glee, his competitive spirit kicking in.

"We’re over here, you’re over there. Ain’t nothin’ between us but the gel in your hair!" Clare called in a sing–song voice as she collected the basketball and threw it at JC, who caught it and threw it straight back at her.

"You did not just bring my hair into this!" JC retaliated as he shortened the distance between them. Clare threw the ball back at him as hard as she could and smiled confidently, all the while trying her best not to show that she was—secretly—feeling a little intimidated. For every step he took towards her Clare took one step back.

"So tell me, Joshua, why do you use so much gel in your hair? Is it 'cause you wanna get noticed? That’s it, isn’t it? You wanna get noticed."

"You must really want your team to lose, don’t ya?"

Clare glanced at the other members of JC's team and snorted in amusement. "I can honestly say I'm sweating it."

"Hey!" Chris shouted back at her, clearly feeling offended.

"Sorry, Chrissie, but you’re the opposition. You suck!"

In reality, Clare knew that she had very little chance of beating JC’s team. She and Libby were beginners to the game, and they really had very little experience or ability to back up their gloating and teasing. Their usual tactic was to attempt sabotage, and since the men were so good at basketball even that trick had a habit of backfiring on them.

The only people capable of improving the girl's chances were absent, and so Clare knew before they'd even started the game that she and Libby would have to pull some pretty sneaky manoeuvres if they had any chance of winning.

"Okay, children," Justin said in a serious voice as he walked in front of Clare, snatched the ball out of JC's hands and turned to face the other players on the court. "It's time to play ball."

Without another word, Justin took off running towards the hoop, closely followed by Lance, who had anticipated his move. Lance tried to get a hold of the ball but Justin bounced it around him and only noticed that Chris was sharp on his tail when he lost the ball to him. Just as quickly as Chris had the ball, he had it bounced away from him by Libby, who took off towards the hoop with a whoop of delight.

JC ran over and intercepted the ball from her, causing Clare to go after him straight away. As she was so short, Clare knew that she had little chance of getting the ball off of him by the usual methods and so she did the first thing that came to her mind—she caught up as close to him as she could and jumped straight on to his back.

"Come on, Clare! That’s cheatin’!" Lance complained as he came to a stop near Libby and gestured at Chris to notice what was going on.

"Shut it, PooFu!" Libby chuckled as she nudged Lance playfully in the ribs. The mention of Lance's hated childhood nickname sent everyone into fits of giggles, which continued as the group watched JC run towards the basket with Clare still clinging onto his back.

Only Justin attempted to tackle JC, which consequently caused the older man to lose his focus. Before anyone was aware of what had happened, Justin was up at the other end of the court, slamming the ball into the basket with a loud, solitary cheer.

"Score!" Justin roared triumphantly as Chris fetched the ball and passed it to Lance.

Realising that she had achieved her goal and that her team were now one point up, Clare loosened her arms from around JC's neck and planned to step backwards onto the asphalt. Her feet didn't quite cooperate with her brain, however, and she somehow ended up falling right onto her backside.

Humiliation washed over her as JC glanced over his shoulder and muffled a snigger at the shocked and embarrassed expression on her face. "Whoops!"

"That's it!" Clare sulked as she folded her arms across her chest like a petulant child. Her cheeks flamed a bright red, and she avoided meeting JC's eyes at all costs. "I'm not playing anymore."

"You can't quit now," JC told her as he reached out his hands to help her get to her feet. Clare reluctantly allowed him to help her right herself. "We've only just started."

"Well..." Clare muttered, "I want to have Chris on my team. You can have Libby."

"Clare!" Libby shouted from across the court as she overheard what Clare had said. She shot her friend an accusing glare and placed her hands on her hips to emphasise her displeasure.

"I'm sorry, Lib, but you're letting the side down," Clare explained with a helpless shrug.

"I'm letting the side down? Don't you mean your lack of height is letting the side down?" Libby retaliated.

"What? I’m supposed to be sorry that I’m short? I don’t think so. The best things come in small packages, don't you know?"

"Yes, but the best basketball players are usually over five feet," Libby responded with a giggle.

"Come on, ladies!" JC said in a pacifying tone. "It’s just a game!"

"We know," Clare told him as she flashed a grin at Libby, who smiled graciously back. Their friendship had survived a lot of friendly competition over the years, and it would take a lot more than a bit of competitive banter for either of them to genuinely take offence at the other.

"So are we carrying on or not?" Justin asked.

At the sound of his voice, Libby turned around and grinned at him, suddenly realising that they were no longer team–mates but rather competitors. She gleefully removed the ball from Lance's hands and threw it across the court towards Justin's head.

Libby's grin broadened as she enjoyed the anticipation of the moment before the ball smacked him straight in the face. Unfortunately, she hadn't taken into account his good reflexes, and he caught the ball one handed long before it had any chance of hurting him. Justin met Libby's eyes and flashed her a cocky grin as he raised an eyebrow.

"Nice try," he quipped as he tossed the ball back towards Lance and then took off towards her at a run. Recognising the wicked look in his eye, Libby let out a scream and ran across the court towards the main building to try to escape from him before he could catch up with her.

Watching the pair run off, Chris turned to the other players and rolled his eyes. "I guess that's a no then."

~~~~~*~~~~~

The plan was for the group to go clubbing that evening, and as Clare stood in front of her closet trying to decide what to wear, she heard a loud knocking sound at the front door of the apartment she shared with Libby.

"Who’s that?" Clare called loudly to Libby, who was sitting in the living room watching the television. Libby rolled her eyes as she got up from the couch to answer the door. She wasn’t in the mood for visitors, and she was annoyed to have to remove herself from her seat, where she had just made herself comfortable.

"Oh, it’s you," Libby groaned as she opened the door to find herself face to face with her boyfriend. "It’s Dan!" she called loudly back to Clare.

"What the hell does he want?" Clare shouted back as she made her way out of her room and along the small hallway towards the front door. She'd been planning on having a carefree evening at the club with her friends, and Clare didn't want anything to upset Libby and make her change her mind about going out.

"We need to talk," Dan told Libby as he ignored Clare's comment and held the door open wide for Libby to pass through. She nodded glumly, and with a quick glance over at Clare, who she knew was in exactly the right mood to tell Dan where to go, she followed him outside onto the partly covered porch. Dan closed the door behind her so that Clare couldn't eavesdrop in on their conversation.

"Who's inside?" Dan asked Libby without any attempt at civility. Libby immediately felt her heckles rise at his accusing tone.

"Clare," she replied sharply. She knew exactly where this conversation could lead, and she wasn't going to make it easy for him to pick a fight with her. Not like this. Not tonight. He was treading on very dangerous ground and her expression made that very clear.

"You goin’ out tonight?"

"Yes. Did you come all the way over here just to ask me that?" Libby asked as she looked up into his deep blue eyes and frowned.

Dan was five feet, ten inches tall, which left him towering over Libby's five foot four inch frame. He had a strong, athletic body but a hard face with defined, angular features. Although he was attractive, he also tended to have a rather cold expression on his face most of the time, which gave him a rather threatening vibe.

"No," Dan said. "I felt we needed to clear the air after what happened this morning."

"Fine, go ahead," Libby replied as she folded her arms across her chest. If he wanted to clear the air then he would have to be the first one to speak. There was no way that she was going to apologise.

Dan stood there for a moment, regarding the stubborn expression on Libby's face. She gave him a cold stare in return. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Libby eventually said, "You can start by apologising."

"Me?"

"Yes. You," Libby snapped. "You accused me of cheating on you. Don't you think you owe me an apology at least?"

"I dunno. It depends. Are you?"

Libby felt her mouth pop open in surprise. The last thing she'd expected him to do was to repeat his accusation from earlier. For a few seconds she was dumbstruck, and then all the anger that she'd been suppressing for weeks burst out of her in a furious scream.

"I can't believe you! How dare you come here and ask me that! I've told you a million times that there is nothing between me and Justin Timberlake. We work together for God's sake, that is it!"

Clare heard Libby scream and immediately dashed over to the nearest window, which happened to overlook the porch decking. From where she stood, Clare could see Libby's face flushed with anger and Dan standing there with his arms crossed, an arrogant look of distrust on his face. Clare fought back the urge to rush out there and punch him across his smug, nasty mouth.

Instead, Clare remained at the window as Dan said something that brought further tears to Libby's eyes. In less than a minute he was storming down the porch steps, back into his waiting car, which was parked haphazardly at the curb side.

Glancing back at her friend, Clare noticed that Libby had sunk to her knees and was now openly crying on the floor. It didn't take Clare a minute before she was outside consoling her friend. 

"Lib..." Clare said soothingly as she knelt beside her friend and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "What's happened? What's he said to upset you now?"

"He thinks I'm being unfaithful," Libby replied through her tears.

"Let me guess... Justin?"

Libby nodded and rubbed her face roughly with both of her hands as the tears continued to flow down her cheeks. "He doesn't believe me. It doesn't matter what I say, he still doesn't believe me."

Clare shook her head angrily and wished that Dan was still around. She'd have no trouble ripping him a new one for upsetting Libby so. There was nothing Clare hated more than seeing one of her friends upset. "He should trust you, Libs. No matter what," Clare told her firmly, meaning every word.

For a moment Libby was silent except for a few further sniffs, and then she turned her head to face Clare, her big, green eyes brimming over with tears. "Why should he trust me? I don't even trust myself."

"Oh no," Clare replied sternly as she turned Libby's shoulders so that she was facing her directly. "Don't you dare defend him. You always do this, Libby, and it's so wrong. You can't keep putting the blame on yourself."

"But…"

"No. No buts. You have nothing to reprimand yourself over. Nothing has happened between you and Justin. That is the bottom line. Whatever Dan thinks, you've been faithful to him."

Libby let out a weary sigh. "But I haven't really, have I? Every minute that I've been with Dan I've been wishing that he were someone else. I might not have been unfaithful to him physically, but I have been emotionally and mentally. We both know that."

Clare didn't know what to say and so she pulled her friend into her arms and stroked her hair as Libby began to quietly sob. She considered the situation and felt overwhelming sadness in her heart for her friend.

If only she had worked up the courage to tell Justin how she felt. Libby would never have gotten together with Dan if she'd imagined that Justin might reciprocate her feelings. It could have spared them both a lot of heartache.

"Libby..." Clare said quietly after a minute of contemplation. "You can't help who you fall in love with. You've got to stop punishing yourself for it. So you like Justin. Big deal! It's possible to love two people at once."

"But I don't love Dan," Libby replied as she sat up to face Clare. "I knew when I started this relationship that I would never like him as much as I do Justin. It was stupid to even get involved with him when I feel this way about someone else."

Clare fought back the desire to yell out in relief that her friend had finally admitted the truth to herself. Instead she offered Libby a reassuring smile. "Then you've learned something," she told her encouragingly. "You've made a mistake and now you can move on from it."

For the first time, Libby cracked a small smile. "It's scary how wise you are sometimes," she said with a weak laugh.

Clare smiled back but her reply was serious. "All I know is that if people could choose who they fall in love with, then I wouldn't have allowed myself to fall for JC. Unrequited love is the worst and I won't let it ruin your life, Libs."

Before Libby had a chance to say something else, Clare jumped to her feet and grabbed hold of both of Libby's hands, pulling her up with her.

"That's enough serious talk," Clare told her firmly. "We are going to go and get ready and then have a fantastic evening out with our friends. Agreed?"

Libby smiled and brushed away the last of her tears from her cheeks. "Agreed."

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

A few hours later, Libby, Clare and the members of *NSYNC met outside their favourite nightclub in downtown Orlando.

Although technically a few of the group were too young to enter the club, the bouncers knew the group of friends well enough to know that they rarely caused trouble, and therefore they turned a blind eye to the very obvious fake I.D's.

As the group made their way inside the building, Clare felt the heavy bass of the music penetrate through the walls and floor, causing her heart–rate to increase in response. Clare had been looking forward to this night all day long and she couldn't wait to let her hair down with her friends.

The group often spent their evenings out at this particular club. It was a local's haunt, and was relatively hard to find for newcomers to the area, which made it unlikely that any *NSYNC fans would be there. This gave the guys an opportunity to properly let their hair down and have fun. Fortunately, even though they were exhausted ninety–nine percent of the time, the men were still young enough to pull an all–nighter and still be relatively fresh enough to do their job the next day.

As Libby quickened her pace and walked ahead of the group into the building, she felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth. This evening out was just what she needed to put her relationship horror show behind her. Here she was, with people who cared about her, looking fantastic—as Clare had put it—and ready to go out and have a good time. She was determined to move forward and put the past behind her and she was going to start right away.

Hearing laughter from behind her, Libby glanced over her shoulder at her friends and watched with amusement as Chris said something funny to Joey, who in turn doubled up and clutched at his stomach as he roared with laughter.

Yep, Libby thought to herself, I definitely need to be with my mates tonight.

As she continued to laugh at the expression on Joey's face, Libby spun her head around to see where she was walking just in case she stumbled into something, or someone. Knowing that a lot of her friends from college also spent time at the club, Libby scanned the crowd for any familiar faces that she might recognise.

The building was crowded with people but not completely packed, and Libby was relieved to see that there were still a few empty tables scattered around the room for the group to claim as their own. It was usual practice for the group to find themselves a table to use as their base for the evening before breaking off to dance and find themselves drinks.

As Libby headed towards the nearest table—followed closely by her group of friends—a flash of something familiar caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head and immediately found herself staring at Dan, who was locked in a passionate embrace with a mystery brunette in the very middle of the dance floor. Libby felt the bile rise in her throat and hot tears sting at her eyes as she watched her boyfriend with her mouth hanging open in shock. She could barely turn around to face her friends as the humiliation washed over her.

As she heard the laughter behind her abruptly die down, Libby felt the tears that she had been struggling to contain begin to fall. Now everyone would know that Dan had been unfaithful, and she'd be a total laughingstock. No wonder he's always accusing me of cheating, she thought bitterly to herself. It must have been his guilty conscience doing the talking.

Finding herself unable to face her friends, Libby turned and ran back through the crowd and straight towards the nearest exit, which happened to be the same door that she'd just come through. As soon as she was outside she found a quiet spot by the side of the building, a short distance from the lines of people queuing to get into the club.

Noticing the few concerned looks that she was receiving from several people in the queue, Libby tucked her head down low onto her chest and avoided making eye contact with anyone. As she leant her back against the wall she imagined her friends' reaction to her boyfriend's betrayal and once again felt the shame begin to colour her cheeks.

I bet they’re all laughing at how blind I've been, she thought to herself as she angrily began to wipe away the tears that had fallen. She only noticed the streak of black mascara that'd become smudged across the back of her hand when it was already too late. And now my makeup is ruined and everyone will know that I've been crying. Wonderful.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I’d better go after her," Clare said to no one in particular as she prepared to follow straight after Libby. As Libby had suspected, the whole group had witnessed Dan's betrayal, and the group had halted in the doorway completely unsure of how to react.

As Clare turned to head after Libby, she felt a hand reach out and touch her arm and she glanced over her shoulder to meet Justin's concerned eyes.

"Let me go. Please," he asked her.

Clare read his expression and pulled a face. "You might be the last person that she wants to see right now," she warned him.

"At least give me a chance to try," Justin pleaded. "I have to do something."

Clare nodded once in understanding, which was enough of an affirmative for Justin to turn and head straight after Libby without a backwards glance. As Clare watched him go she hoped that she'd made the right decision. She couldn't fight the niggling feeling that developed in the pit of her stomach that told her that she hadn't.

~~~~~*~~~~~

It was so busy out on the sidewalk that it took Justin a moment before he spotted Libby. She had her back pressed closely up against the external wall of the building, her head tucked down so that her chin was practically resting against her chest. It was clear to Justin that she was trying to remain inconspicuous, despite the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

Once he reached her side, Justin stood awkwardly beside her. Libby kept her head down and said nothing, she felt shy and embarrassed and she'd hoped that if anyone would have followed her outside that it would've been Clare. Libby felt uncomfortable enough that Justin had had front–line seats to her very public humiliation without having to discuss it with him.

"What are you doin' out here?" Justin asked after enduring a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Libby shot him a sideways glance as she discreetly wiped away another tear with the back of her hand.

"Nothin'," she replied as a lump formed in her throat. Justin nodded and stared ahead at the cars that passed by in the street. Although the noise outside the club was loud, Justin could swear that his heart was beating loud enough for Libby to hear.

"You know, the best thing to do right now would be to come back inside and have a good time. Show him what he's missin'."

Libby let out a bitter laugh and turned to face him. "Yeah right," she whispered as another tear dribbled down her cheek, "Look at me. I'm a mess. Why would he miss this?" Libby glanced down at her shoes and let out a small, uncontrollable sob.

Justin turned to look at her and felt an ache begin to form inside his chest. He couldn't bear looking at her like this, when her eyes were swollen and rimmed with tears, her mouth downcast and pouting. It made him want to beat Dan to within an inch of his life for hurting his precious Libby in this way.

They both stood side by side for at least another five minutes before either of them spoke again. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, Libby found that having him near to her felt surprisingly reassuring and comforting. For the first time since she'd gotten together with Dan, Libby felt that she could finally open up to Justin about the problems in her relationship. She hoped that he'd be willing to listen. She needed to unburden herself to someone who cared and understood.

"You know, he was always accusing me of cheating," Libby said in a weak voice. "It's ironic, isn't it. I guess his conscience was eating away at him."

"Funny how that happens," Justin remarked thoughtfully. He'd been there himself once and could completely relate to how Libby was feeling.

"I never would have, you know..." Libby said as she turned to face Justin, their eyes meeting properly for the first time that evening. Libby swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to speak as she searched his eyes. "...even if I liked someone else, and the temptation was there, I wouldn't have done anything."

Justin nodded silently. He understood that there was a much deeper meaning hidden behind Libby's words but he found himself unable to summon the courage to ask her outright. It was painful for him to watch her be with someone as unworthy as Dan, especially as he could see how unhappy he was making her, but whenever Justin had an opportunity to reveal his feelings towards her, his courage deserted him.

The seconds ticked by and Justin continued to stare at Libby silently. She watched him—holding her breath, her heart in her throat—but pretty soon her shoulders began to sag in defeat as she realised that he had nothing to say. Not one thing to tell her that might somehow turn this evening around. Libby dragged her eyes away from his and scowled resentfully at the ground.

"I guess Dan couldn't see that in me..." Libby continued as she tried to compose her face. Justin's silence had hurt her, but she didn't want him to see it. How could it be that they were such good friends and yet he still acted so guarded around her? It made Libby feel angry with herself for being so open with him and receiving nothing back in return.

"It was you, you know," Libby said as she let out a bitter chuckle and risked another glance over at him. "Always you, never the others. He always said I was cheating on him with that Justin kid." Libby shook her head at the irony. "I'd tell him a million times, 'I don't have any feelings for Justin,' but he'd never let it go."

Libby only realised that she'd gone too far when she saw Justin flinch infinitesimally beside her. The movement gave her a slight glimmer of hope but also disappointment. If it was so easy to hurt him with her words then why didn't he say something? Why couldn't he just be honest with her, and tell her what she'd already begun to suspect? Was she really barking up the wrong tree, imagining that he might have feelings for her?

"Right..." Justin mumbled as he stared down at his sneakers. He tried his best to keep his face blank, but Libby's words had hurt him deeply and he felt sure that his expression was showing it. "No feelings," he repeated to himself.

"None," Libby said as she looked away and bit down hard onto her bottom lip. She hated lying to him and silently willed him to challenge her, but Justin continued to stare down at his shoes in silence.

There was an awkward silence for several minutes before Justin said, "Are you comin' back in?"

At the sound of his voice, and the slight tremor within it, Libby felt the shame of what she had said begin to wash over her. Justin's voice revealed all the injury that his face was trying to conceal. Here's a good man who would probably treat me better than I deserve and yet I can't seem to stop hurting him. What is wrong with me?

"Justin..." Libby whispered, hoping that there was still time to repair the damage that she'd just caused. If only he'd say something—anything—to make it easier to be honest with him, she thought.

"—'Cause the others are probably wondering where we've got to—" Justin said as he ignored her attempt to speak and pretended that he were distracted by something interesting on the underside of his left sneaker. Justin knew that he was behaving like a jerk, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her for fear of losing control of his emotions. No feelings. The words cut deeply into his heart as they swirled around in his head. None.

"Okay..." Libby replied as she continued to stare at him, hoping to catch his eye. She knew what he was doing, but felt powerless to stop the moment—the opportunity—from slipping away from them. The harder that she tried to engage with him, the more Justin shut down.

"Let's go back in then," Justin mumbled and took off back into the club without waiting to see if Libby would follow. Libby watched him go and felt the tears once again sting at her eyes. Now all she needed to do was have an argument with Clare and her evening would be complete...

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Justin headed straight back inside the building, but instead of making his way over to his table of friends, he made a sharp left hand turn and headed through the crowd towards the bar at the far end of the club. He needed a moment to absorb what Libby had just said to him, and he figured that the best place to do that would be at the bar.

'I would say, I'm sorry / If I thought that it would change your mind / But I know that this time / I've said too much / Been too unkind...'

Officially Justin was underage, but tonight it wasn't that obvious from his appearance. He'd dressed up for the night out and hadn't bothered to shave, which always made him look older than his years. With any luck, he'd be fortunate enough to score a drink before any of his friends noticed him and tried to intervene. They were a bunch of do–gooders sometimes, and they always seemed to get on his case whenever he tried to test his boundaries. Justin realised that his friends only had his best interests at heart, but it sure got on his nerves sometimes.

'I try to laugh about it / Cover it all up with lies / I try and laugh about it / Hiding the tears in my eyes / 'Cause boys don't cry / Boys don't cry...'

As he reached his destination, Justin sunk down onto one of the empty barstools before leaning his elbows onto the wooden counter before him. He slouched forward and supported his chin in his hands.

'I would break down at your feet / And beg forgiveness / Plead with you / But I know that it's too late / And now there's nothing I can do...'

Had Libby really been telling the truth when she'd said that she hadn't any feelings for him? Justin wondered miserably. Could he really have been misreading the signals this whole time?

"Jack and coke, please," he said as he was asked for his order by the closest bartender. Justin gave a sly smirk and rubbed a hand over his stubbly chin as the man turned and began to go about fixing his drink without even giving him a second look. Yes, it had definitely been worth coming out unshaven, he thought smugly to himself.

'I would tell you that I loved you / If I thought that you would stay / But I know that it's no use / That you've already gone away...'

Since it looked as though his plan was going to work, all Justin needed to do now was to avoid his friends for as long as it took for him to get completely wasted. By then it'd be too late for them to do anything about it anyway. Of course they'd be pissed and give him a hard time for it later, but that would still be better than how he was feeling right now.

'Misjudged your limit / Pushed you too far / Took you for granted / I thought that you needed me more...'

"A coke for me, please," a familiar voice called to the bartender from behind Justin's back. At once, Justin felt a sinking feeling flood his stomach, and he turned his head to glance over his shoulder at his band mate. As soon as he met his eyes, JC flashed him a broad, sarcastic grin causing Justin to glower moodily back.

'Now I would do most anything / To get you back by my side / But I just keep on laughing / Hiding the tears in my eyes / 'Cause boys don't cry / Boys don't cry...'

As both drinks were placed on the bar in front of them, JC reached forward to pay the tab. He then made a big show of switching the glasses around so that his became the alcoholic one and Justin was left with the soda.

"Cheers," JC sniggered as he clinked his glass against Justin's and took a big gulp from the Jack and coke. As he swallowed and pulled the glass away from his lips, JC let out a low chuckle at the expression on Justin's face.

"Yeah, whatever," Justin replied with a sneer.

"What's going on, man?" JC asked as he sank down onto the empty barstool beside Justin, doing his best to keep the judgemental tone out of his voice. JC knew that he needed to choose his words carefully if he wanted Justin to open up to him. One wrong word and Justin would clam up and refuse to talk about it.

Unlike his other friends, JC had noticed Justin slipping over to the bar whilst everyone else had been distracted by Libby's reappearance. A niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach had prompted him to go and check up on his friend, and, as it had turned out, his suspicions had been right.

It wasn't like Justin to sneak around, and neither did he usually engage in underage drinking. JC had spent enough time with him to know that with confidence. He didn't know what had been said between Justin and Libby, but JC could only guess by the current expression on Justin's face that the conversation hadn't gone in his friend's favour.

"What makes you think there's something going on?" Justin snapped back as he glowered into his glass. He refused point blank to take a sip of the drink. He was sick of drinking soda.

"'Cause you're sitting here at the bar when you should be having a good time with your friends," JC said, flashing Justin a knowing smile. Justin continued to stare into his glass as though he hadn't heard. JC knew that he just had to be patient and wait for as long as it took for Justin to open up.

"It's Libby," Justin said eventually.

"She's had a bit of a shock tonight," JC said as he thought back to Libby's reaction to seeing Dan with another woman. "Did she say anything to you about it outside?"

"Yeah," Justin said, his voice sounding injured. "She said she doesn't have any feelings for me."

JC took another sip of his drink to give himself a chance to think. He was surprised at how quickly the conversation had changed from Libby and Dan, to Libby and Justin. JC wanted to say something about this, but quickly realised that it would probably be a mistake. "And do you think she was telling the truth?" He asked tentatively.

"Of course! She was pretty adamant about it. Besides, why would she have feelings for me?"

JC regarded his friend carefully before answering. He knew that Justin would take any advice that he gave him to heart, and therefore he wanted to be careful not to give him any false hope. But at the same time, JC was as surprised as Justin to hear what Libby had said. It seemed obvious to him, if not to anyone else, that the youngsters were crazy about each other. Even if they couldn't admit it to each other.

"Emotions and feelings are messy, J. Just because you're with someone doesn't stop you from having feelings for someone else. Libby probably does have feelings for you, but she's not able to express them. She's a nice girl, and I think that's probably one of the things that you like best 'bout her."

Justin said nothing, and instead he turned his head away to glance across the dance floor at the table where Libby was seated. Her shoulders were hunched, and she was staring sadly across the dance floor at Dan, who was now openly dancing with the brunette, still completely oblivious of his girlfriend's presence just a few feet away.

"The guy's an asshole," Justin spat as he followed Libby's gaze to the older man, who was running his hands up and down the brunette's lower back.

"Yes, he is," JC agreed as he took another sip of his drink and looked over at Dan. "But that's Libby's choice, man. Whatever happens, you mustn’t get involved in all that. It won't do you any favours to be meddlin' in her relationship."

"Neither would just sitting here and doing nothing," Justin replied as he quickly rose to his feet, his eyes fixed firmly on Dan. "Someone's gotta teach that douchebag a lesson."

JC slammed his glass back down onto the bar in a rush, splashing his hand and lap with the last few remaining drops of his drink as he did so. He tried to grasp at Justin's jacket or sleeve to stop him in his tracks, but Justin was already long out of JC's reach before he could get the chance.

"Wait! Justin!" JC spluttered as he watched his friend rush away, his words falling on deaf ears. It was already too late—Justin was already half way across the dance floor.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

As Justin pushed past the people on the dance floor, the movement caught Clare's attention from where she was seated beside Libby. She squinted into the darkness, trying her best to see through the crowds of people and try to identify the man who was charging across the dance-floor.

As soon as she recognised him, Clare turned to the others at the table and said, "Who's he looking for?" Everyone at the table twisted in their seats and tracked the direction in which Justin was headed. Chris was the first to put two and two together.

"Shit!" He swore as he jumped up out of his seat, followed soon after by Lance and Joey. They all sprinted towards Justin to try to stop him before he did something that he—and they—would regret.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As he neared Dan, Justin felt the adrenaline course through his body and his fists instinctively curled up ready to throw the first punch. He roughly shoved his shirt and jacket sleeves further up his arms and licked his lips in anticipation.

I'm looking forward to this, he thought. I can't wait to see the look on his face as I dislocate his bottom jaw.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby stared in horror as Justin stormed across the dance floor towards her boyfriend. She felt sick at the thought of Justin squaring up against the much older, not to mention stronger, man. Acting instinctively, Clare looped an arm through one of Libby's and dragged her up out of her chair. As she came to realise Clare's intentions, Libby shook her head and looked at her with wide, frightened eyes.

"No, Clare," she begged. "I can't."

"We have to stop him," Clare told her firmly as she began to pull her forward. "You might be the only person who can do it, Lib."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Justin didn't give Dan a chance to notice his presence before he aimed a rough punch at the side of the older man's face. The young brunette who had been dancing with Dan shrieked and dodged out of the way as Dan absorbed the blow. Recovering as best he could, Dan let out a growl of anger as he turned and grasped Justin forcibly by the shoulder.

"What the hell?" Dan shouted as he swung Justin roughly to one side. Justin did his best not to look intimidated by Dan's show of strength and he pushed his face closer into the older man's. Dan might be stronger than him, but Justin had the advantage of height.

JC reached the pair just in time to hear Justin shout, "You're an asshole!" JC's eyes immediately turned from his friend's furious face to the crowd of people that were gathering around them. The argument was already drawing attention, and JC was concerned that sooner or later someone would recognise Justin. It wouldn't be good for the group to end up in the newspapers because of a public brawl. Or—even worse—have it end up on the Internet.

JC searched the crowd for one of his band mates, and immediately Chris and Joey surged forward to assist JC in pulling Justin backwards and out of Dan's face.

"Why, it’s the kid," Dan said with a sneer as he slowly began to recognise Justin. "You want a piece of this?" He jeered and spat at Justin's feet. The crowd uttered a groan of disgust, but Justin was too distracted by the visible spot of blood in the pile of saliva by his feet. He realised immediately that he'd hurt Dan a lot more than the older man was letting on. His punch must have chipped a tooth, at least. Lunging forward with his fist raised, Justin hoped to make contact once again with Dan's face, but JC and Joey held him back in their strong arms.

"C’mon man, he’s not worth it," Chris told him as he pulled on Justin's right arm and tried his best to get in–between the two brawling men. Chris knew it was a risk, but as the eldest member of the group he felt responsible for Justin. Joey noticed Chris' vulnerability as he stood with his back to Dan, and he reached out to place a cautionary hand on his shoulder. Things were bad enough without Chris being beaten up, too.

"You're an asshole, and you don't deserve her," Justin continued to yell at Dan over Chris' shoulder as he fought against his friends' restraint. He wanted so badly to wipe the smirk off of Dan's face and he wished that his friends would just let him. Even though he knew that he severely lacked the experience to really give Dan the beating that he deserved, Justin was determined that he wasn't going to back down no matter what it cost him.

Dan snorted in amusement and narrowed his eyes at Justin. "And she'd be better off with a gay little kid, who spends his time making out with boys would she?" At once the crowd surrounding them burst out laughing at Dan's insult and he turned around to face his crowd of admirers, clearly enjoying the attention. Justin felt his cheeks burn with humiliation but he refused to be distracted. He continued to scowl at Dan, his anger only being fueled by the audience's reaction.

"Walk away, man," JC said firmly to Justin as he reached out to squeeze his shoulder. He personally had so little respect for Dan that nothing he said could injure him. JC knew that Justin, however, would be mortified by Dan's words. His face was a mask of pure fury, and JC realised that if he didn't manage to pull him away now that there would definitely be a fight. "Chris' is right. He's not worth it. Just walk away."

Justin watched as Dan revelled in the response that he'd drawn from the crowd. As if his ego wasn't big enough, he was acting like a pro–wrestler who'd just achieved the smack–down of his career. It made Justin sick to see him swaggering around and before he knew it, he felt the sickening taste of iron in his mouth from having bitten down so hard on his bottom lip that he'd caused it to bleed.

It was bad enough that Dan had hurt Libby, but now he was insulting his band mates? His brothers? It made Justin feel sick to the stomach to think of JC, Joey, Chris and Lance being abused so publically because of him. Especially by someone as worthless as Dan.

Justin lunged forward once again, and by putting all of his weight behind it, he managed to shake JC and Chris off with one easy move. He waited until Dan had turned back around to face him before aiming another punch right in the man's jaw. The crack that emanated from Justin's fist making contact with the bone immediately silenced Dan, as well as the laughter of the crowd.

"What's up, old man? Feel that one, did ya?" Justin sneered as a nasty grin crossed his face. Punching Dan had felt good. So good.

Dan clutched at his jaw and met Justin's eyes. His own were so dilated with adrenaline and rage that he looked practically feral. JC saw the look in his eyes and felt his stomach constrict with fear as he realised that what was about to happen would most likely put Justin in the hospital.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Dan was so quick to react that Justin was on the floor before he even knew what had happened to him. Dan loomed over him, his face contorted into a furious grimace as he prepared to give the youngster the beating of his life. Clare tightened her grip on Libby's arm and stared down at Justin's face in horror. She knew that she had to do something to stop what was about to happen, but what could she do?

Time seemed to freeze and Clare felt as though she were watching and waiting for the next minute to arrive for hours. It was only when she felt her hand slap against the side of her thigh that she realised that Libby was no longer standing beside her.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Libby shouted as she pushed ahead of Clare through the crowd. She shoved people out of the way and ran forward to get herself in between the two men.

As soon as she was close enough, Libby got straight in Dan's face and shoved his fist back at him before he could connect it with anything. JC, Joey and Chris used her temporary distraction to quickly help Justin get back onto his feet. The young man was very shaken and pale, but his eyes never left Libby's small frame.

Standing next to the hulking figure that was Dan, Libby looked tiny and fragile. Her face, however, was a mask of fury, and in that moment, she was an easy match for Dan's anger.

"Protecting the new boyfriend, are we?" Dan shouted right back at her as he glanced over her shoulder and sneered at Justin. "Why'd ya go from a man to a boy?"

"You're a man, eh, Dan?" Clare sneered over the noise of the music and gave out a snort of amusement at the idea. As she spoke, Lance arrived at her side and tried to hush her. He didn't like the way things were progressing with Dan and he didn't want Clare provoking him further.

"Let me tell you something," Libby said with her face so close to Dan's that she could almost have kissed him without needing to move an inch. She looked into his dark eyes and pursed lips and felt sick inside. Was this really the man that she had let kiss her? Touch her? Was he really the one that she'd wasted six months of her life on? Six months that she'd never get back.

"That boy is more of a man than you could ever be," Libby sneered at Dan before dismissing him with a shrug of her shoulders. She turned and prepared to walk away, no longer wishing to spend any more time in his presence. Libby took a few steps forward but was momentarily disoriented by the crowd of people that had surged forward to surround her. She shook her head to try to clear her thoughts and pushed forward in the direction that she thought would lead back to the table.

She managed three steps forward before Dan caught up with her and angrily spun her around to face him. "Don't you walk away," he shouted at her. "I'm not finished with you yet." Libby struggled under his grasp but Dan refused to let her go. She felt his fingers tighten around the delicate skin of her wrist and her eyes widened at the burning sensation that his hold caused.

"Stop!" Libby cried, looking up into Dan's eyes but no longer recognising him as the man that she had tried so hard to love. Before she had a chance to say anything else, Libby saw him bunch up his other hand into a fist once again, only this time it was aimed in her direction. She quickly screwed up her face in anticipation of the pain that she would doubtless soon feel.

It never came.

Libby tentatively opened her eyes to see Chris standing there with his arm outstretched having caught Dan's fist in his open palm. As Libby looked at Chris' face in surprise she noticed that his expression was so cold that it sent a chill through her.

"You will never do that again," Chris told Dan as he slipped an arm protectively around Libby's shoulders. When he was sure that Dan had gotten the message, and it was safe for him to turn his back, Chris escorted Libby back to the table, followed closely by the rest of their friends.

Libby was grateful for the support of Chris' body to keep her upright. Her legs felt like jelly and her whole body was trembling. She was trying to keep it together, but inside she could feel the hysteria building like a pressure cooker. She needed to sit down soon before her legs gave way beneath her.

"Are you all right?" Chris asked her in a concerned voice as he guided her towards the nearest chair. Libby sat down and stared up at him with wide eyes. She nodded her reply only after finding that she was unable to speak.

"You know, I think we should leave," Joey said to Chris as Clare slipped into the seat beside Libby and reached across to squeeze her hand reassuringly. Joey was all too aware of the people staring and gossiping about them and it was making him feel very uncomfortable.

"We're not going to run away," Chris said as the rest of the group gathered around him. "Me and Justin are going to go and get some drinks, and then we are going to carry on as if nothing has happened."

Although a few glances were exchanged between the group, no one argued with Chris. Feeling a bit more confident that he had control of the situation, Chris walked around the perimeter of the table until he reached Justin and gave him a gentle but firm shove in the direction of the bar. Stumbling over his feet, Justin followed after his band mate.

Once they were far enough away from the table to be out of earshot, Chris turned to Justin and elbowed him gently in the ribs. "You okay, man?"

Justin mumbled an incoherent reply. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer such a question, and, being completely honest with himself, he didn't even know if he could.

"Jeez, you scared me," Chris continued with a snort of amusement as he remembered back to the look on Justin's face as he'd charged towards Dan. "I'm proud of you, but you scared me," he reached over and pointed a finger in Justin's face. "Don't ever do that to me again. That guy could've beaten the crap out of you." Justin avoided Chris's eyes and shrugged even though he was more affected by his friend's words than he was willing to admit.

"You gotta think, man. It's not like it is back home. You gotta' consider how your actions will affect the group. What do you think would've happened if Libby hadn't stopped him? You really think you can do your job with a broken nose and who knows what else?"

"Sorry..." Justin replied gruffly. His face didn't show it, but he was feeling pretty close to the edge. So far that evening he'd gone through such extremes of emotion that he wasn't sure if he could take much more. He felt ashamed that his actions could've hurt his friends, and the one thing that he cared about the most—his career. Justin respected Chris and felt embarrassed that the older man was forced to give him a lecture.

"It's done now, man," Chris replied as he realised that tears were beginning to form in Justin's eyes. Chris slapped him amiably on the back and started to snigger. "Just promise me that you'll think a bit more next time. I'm too old to be dragging you out of that kinda shit."

Justin blinked back the tears and shot Chris a sideways smirk causing the older man to laugh. At once the awkward tension between them was gone and Justin soon found himself laughing along with the joke. As they reached the bar, Justin risked a backwards glance at Libby, who was still being consoled by the rest of their friends. He'd avoided looking at her until now as he'd been afraid of what he might see.

Across the room, Libby was still seated at the table, flanked by Clare, who had her arm over her friend's shoulder as she listened intently to something that Libby was saying. From their body language, Justin could tell that Clare was trying her best to comfort her friend.

As he continued to stare, Libby suddenly looked up over Clare's shoulder and met his eyes. Justin instantly glanced away and pretended to be interested in something happening on the dance floor. He felt embarrassed to have been caught looking at her, and he mentally chided himself for being so blatant about it. Could it be that she was angry with him? Was she grateful that he'd stood up to Dan? Or had he damaged their friendship with his actions? Would she feel embarrassed by what had happened and be awkward around him? Or worse, avoid him completely?

"Three cokes, a single Jack and five double Jack's straight up, please," Chris called to the barman, jarring Justin from his troubled thoughts. As he listened to Chris' order, Justin's brow furrowed into a frown.

"Chris, that ain't right man," he mumbled, reaching across to nudge his friend into awareness. Chris turned to him with a grin and winked as the barman lined the glasses up in front of them. Chris paid for the drinks and discreetly handed Justin the single shot of Jack Daniels.

"You've earned this," Chris said in a discreet voice, and he watched with amusement as a comprehending grin slowly spread across Justin's face. Chris gestured at the glass in his friend's hand to encourage him to drink up. Justin didn't have to be told twice. He raised the glass in a quick salute before downing it in one gulp.

"Don't tell JC," Chris told him as he took the empty glass from Justin's hand and replaced it with one of the three glasses containing soda. His tone was joking, but the warning was all too real.

Carefully picking up the rest of the glasses, Chris headed back towards the table, glancing back once over his shoulder to grin at Justin. "You coming?"

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Once Justin and Chris had returned, Libby averted her eyes to the paper coasters that were scattered across the top of the table. She couldn't bring herself to look at Justin; she couldn't stop picturing his face as he'd shouted at Dan.

This evening is way messed up, she thought miserably to herself.

Feeling a pair of eyes on her, Libby glanced up to see who was looking at her and met Justin's gaze for the second time. Once again he averted his eyes instantly, and Libby knew that there was no way that their relationship wouldn't be affected by what had happened. She wasn't sure how she'd be able to face him at work after this.

As she was thinking these thoughts a hand reached across the table and placed a tall glass of coke in front of her. Libby followed the trail of the hand as it retreated and was met by Chris' warm smile. He winked at her affectionately before turning away to resume a conversation he'd begun with Lance.

Libby took a deep breath to steady herself. Now that she was beginning to calm down she realised that she was bursting to go to the bathroom. She glanced sideways at Clare, who had turned her head to talk to JC, but she didn't want to interrupt their conversation. Everyone else was trying to carry on as normal, but Libby couldn't just yet. She needed to get away from the noise of the music and try to clear her head. 

As Libby shuffled her chair back slightly and prepared to stand, Clare immediately noticed that her friend was leaving and turned to face her with a look of concern.

"I'm fine," Libby explained in a whisper. "I'm just going to the loo."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Libby smiled fondly at Clare. She really wanted a moment by herself and she knew that Clare would be torn between staying to talk with JC and being there for her. Libby glanced at JC, who had his head turned away from them to look at something in the distance as he pretended not to overhear their conversation.

"No, you stay," Libby said.

"You sure?" Clare whispered back as she reached out to squeeze Libby's hand. "I'm here if you need me, 'kay?"

Libby nodded and rose to her feet. She kept her eyes averted from the rest of the people at the table as she scanned the club for an indication of where the bathrooms were located. If anyone asked Clare where she had gone, Libby knew that her friend would fill them in discreetly.

Once she had made it safely halfway across the club, Libby released a deep sigh, letting out some of the tension that had been building inside of her. She could see the door of the ladies' bathroom from where she was standing, and she felt relieved that in just a few moments she'd be able to drop the fake smile from her face and allow herself a moment to process her thoughts without having to pretend that she was fine.

Although she was tempted, Libby forced herself not to break into a run and instead fixed her eyes on the bathroom door and only slightly quickened her pace. She managed another few steps before she heard someone calling her name and at once she felt her stomach sink with disappointment.

"Libby, please..."

Libby turned and faced Justin, her heart aching at the look of desperation on his face. She wanted to throw herself at him; she wanted to cover his face with kisses and cling to him but she didn't. Instead she folded her arms across her chest and frowned at him even as her heart desperately begged her not to be so mean.

Justin stood there—breathless from having run after her, having ignored Clare's pleas for him to stay where he was—his eyes desperately searching Libby's for an indication that she wasn't angry with him. The awkwardness between them was already grating on his already fragile nerves, and he realised then that he needed her more than ever. Even if she could only offer him a weak smile, it would be enough to reassure him that they could get through this. That he hadn't ruined their friendship with his impulsive actions.

"What?" Libby asked in a tone that she didn't really mean. Her whole body was torn between screaming at him for being so foolish and craving his touch. Never in her life had someone defended her in the way that he had that evening and she was still trying to process how she felt about it.

"I...I..." Justin stammered, unable to break himself away from Libby's intense gaze. In his mind he kept picturing her standing in front of Dan, her body so petite and defenceless in front of the hulking figure that had been her ex–boyfriend. If she really didn't care for me, then why did she put herself in harm's way to protect me like that?

"What were you thinking?" Libby asked in such a quiet voice that Justin had to lean in close to catch it. They were standing in a more secluded area of the club but still the music was very loud. "He could have... would have... you're so stupid, Justin."

Justin swallowed audibly but refused to let her words upset him. She might not be able to say it aloud, but her actions had proved it tonight—despite what she'd said earlier, she had to have some feelings for him to have acted the way that she had.

"Dance with me?" Justin asked abruptly, stunning Libby to silence for a moment. She frowned as she tried to catch up with the sudden change in conversation.

"I'm sorry?"

"Dance with me. Please. If you're worried about Dan then don't be. He's already left."

"You're asking me to dance with you? Justin, I'm headed to the..." Libby turned around and gestured with her thumb at the sign on the ladies' bathroom door. Justin nodded in understanding as he followed her gaze.

"I know. I don't mean now. Later."

Libby wanted to ask him why. Why after all that had just happened did he want to dance with her? What good could it possibly do? But she also knew that deep down she didn't really want to hear the answer. At least if they were dancing together they wouldn't be talking, and that had to be a bonus.

"Okay, I guess," Libby replied weakly as she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down onto it. Dancing together wasn't a good idea, and yet being held by him, even if it was for only a few minutes—the duration of a song—would start to heal her aching heart. 

"Okay? Is that a yes?"

"Yes, but you'll have to wait 'till later," Libby told him. She didn't want to explain that Clare had been slipping her sips of her Jack Daniel's and coke and that she'd need several more before she'd be able to keep her legs from trembling when she danced with him.

"Later," Justin agreed as he flashed her a heart stopping smile before heading back towards their group of friends. Libby stood there for a full minute before she remembered that she was bursting to go to the toilet, and she rushed off towards the ladies room in a hurry.

~~~~~*~~~~~

When Libby returned from the bathroom, Clare was surprised to see that she was accompanied by a young woman that she hadn't met before. She offered a friendly smile as the pair approached the table, and noted with satisfaction that Libby was already starting to look a little more like herself.

Clare wondered if perhaps it had something to do with the sudden sparkle that had appeared in Justin's eyes. She'd asked him not to bother Libby again, but of course he hadn't listened to her and had gone charging off again, despite everyone’s protestations for him to remain at the table.

Justin had returned with a sly grin on his face, and Clare had assumed—as he was still alive—that Libby hadn't ripped him to pieces. She could only hope from this positive outcome that they'd found a way to move past what had happened earlier.

Clare glanced at JC, who was now happily chatting away to Chris, and felt a bemused smile cross her lips. She wasn't sure that she would've been able to forgive him so easily if he'd done something so stupid.

"Clare, this is Jenny," Libby said as she introduced the young women to her friend. "We go to college together."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby had applied to the University of Central Florida in Orlando before she’d even left the UK. She'd hoped that if she hadn't found employment by the time that she'd arrived in the States, that she could've been a full–time student there. Fortunately, she'd been accepted two weeks before the move.

Libby had initially applied on a computer studies course, but had since transferred to business management and now she only had two years left until she received her degree. Her plans for the future weren't fixed, but she hoped to one day work her way up to a possible management position at the record label.

Although her course was technically full–time, it only filled up thirty–two hours of her working week, leaving her free to take a part–time position at the fan club. As her workload wasn't particularly heavy, Libby rarely had trouble balancing her studies with working.

Jennifer Piel was a similar age to Libby, and the pair had met during their first computing class, where they had been randomly assigned to share a work space. They had quickly become friends, and Jenny had helped Libby to adapt during her first few months at college. Although they were good friends, this was the first occasion that they had spent any time together outside of the UCF grounds. 

"Everyone!" Libby called loudly, gaining the attention of her table of friends. "This is my friend, Jenny. We go to UCF together."

At once the group began to murmur their greetings, and a faint blush began to spread over Jenny's cheeks as she realised that she'd suddenly become the centre of attention. She was naturally shy and often felt uncomfortable in big crowds, but her roommate and best friend, Cyndi Mathes, had somehow convinced her to agree to a rare night out, which is how she'd ended up bumping into Libby in the ladies room.

"Is Cyndi here?" Libby asked Jenny as she scanned the crowded club for signs of her other friend from college.

"No, she met some guy that she knew and disappeared about an hour ago," Jenny explained with a careless shrug that didn't come across as very convincing. Jenny wasn't going to admit it out loud, but she'd pretty much been hiding in the ladies' bathroom since Cyndi's departure, and she'd even considered calling herself a cab and heading home early.

A loud whooping noise from across the table drew everyone's attention to Joey, who was making suggestive motions with his hands, drawing a laugh from the other men around the table. Libby narrowed her eyes at him before turning back to Jenny.

"You must come and join us then," Libby said.

"Yes, do," Clare agreed, echoing Libby's sentiment and offering Jenny a warm smile. "Clearly we could use another female to balance out the excess of testosterone around here."

Jenny glanced at the faces around the table and gave a sheepish smile. "I guess it beats going home to an empty dorm," she said before dragging a spare chair from a nearby table over to join them.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby took special care to introduce Jenny to each member of her friendship circle. Not only did it serve the purpose of making her friend feel welcome, but it also helped to distract herself, and she soon found that with each moment that passed between her and the 'incident', she felt much more like her normal self.

Her friends also seemed to be making a special effort to be friendly to the newcomer, and when it came time to introduce Jenny to Lance, Libby couldn't help but notice the particular change in the young man's posture. He immediately sat upright in his seat and leaning past Joey, he reached out a hand to shake Jenny's, making him the first of the men to do so.

"I'm Lance," he said, before Libby had a chance to introduce him. Libby tried to hide her snigger behind her hand as she watched Lance stare up at Jenny with his wide, green eyes. She'd secretly been hoping that he might show an interest in her friend, as out of all the girls that she knew, Jenny and he had the most in common.

As it had turned out, the only available space to add another chair to had been in the gap between Libby and Lance, and so Jenny had found herself sitting next to him during the majority of the evening—when she wasn't being encouraged to get up and dance by the other girls, that was.

Libby could tell by the permanent, wide grin on Lance's face that her idea to bring Jenny over had been a good one.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As the end of the night drew nearer, the DJ shifted the music to songs with a slower beat, and Libby found herself growing more and more anxious as she remembered her promise to Justin. They'd both agreed at the time, but when exactly was 'later'?

It was as Libby was considering this that Jenny slowly turned around in her seat to face Lance, and asked in a hesitant voice whether or not he would like to dance with her. Chris and Joey both immediately erupted into hysterical sniggering that was only quieted by Clare shooting daggers at them with her eyes. Lance accepted Jenny's suggestion with a blush and the two disappeared amongst the many couples already on the dance floor.

"Looks like our Scoop's got himself an admirer," Chris chuckled as he watched them leave.

"I don't think he minds," Joey observed as he watched Lance wrap his arms around Jenny's body and pull her closer to him. The beaming smile on the young man's face said it all.

Clare smiled across at Joey until she felt the disconcerting feeling that someone was looking at her. She quickly turned her head to see JC grinning mischievously in her direction. Before she had the chance to say something sarcastic—which was her standard reaction when she was feeling awkward or uncomfortable—he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her up and out of her seat in one easy move.

"Hey!" she complained but didn't struggle against him.

"Come and dance with me," JC said as he tugged lightly on her arm, pulling her after him as he walked a few paces towards the dance floor.

"You could ask," Clare quipped as she fought to keep the giddy grin off of her face. Inside her body it felt as though a rabble of butterflies had taken flight in her stomach at the feel of his warm hand wrapping around hers.

"Just dance with me," JC pleaded with a sigh, giving her a glimpse of his famous 'puppy dog eyes' as he pretended to find her response tiring. They both knew that she would be unable to resist his 'sad' face. Although, secretly, Clare had been hoping all night that he might ask her to dance.

"I can't believe you're making me do this," Clare told him as she took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, letting her head rest against his firm chest. As JC placed his arms protectively around her shoulders, he began to think back to earlier that night...

+ + +

Clare had been taking her time getting ready—as usual—even though almost everyone else had been gathered outside the apartment looking out for the taxi cab that they had booked to take them to the club. Everyone except for her and JC.

He'd needed to use the bathroom at the last minute, whilst Clare had been finishing up applying her makeup using the mirror in her bedroom—something which always seemed to take her an eternity. Unlike Libby, who regularly wore makeup to work and college, Clare needed to spend a lot of time and concentration on the task in order for her to be happy with the end results. This usually led to her being ready a lot later than everyone else.

As she'd been making her way out of her room, Clare had been startled by JC, who had been passing by her bedroom as he'd made his way along the hallway towards the front door. They'd both jumped at the sudden appearance of the other.

"Jeez!" Clare had exclaimed as she'd clutched a hand to her heart, feeling it hammering away in her chest thanks to the unexpected fright.

"Sorry," JC had said bashfully and had flashed her a crooked grin. "I didn't mean to scare you."

As he'd spoken, JC's eyes had left Clare's to unconsciously give her the once over, and he'd been unable to fight the grin that had appeared on his face as he'd taken in the sight in front of him. She was a total knockout.

Clare had chosen to wear a white cropped top that revealed a glimpse of her tattoo—the Chinese symbol for 'wildcat'—which was positioned to the left of her pierced navel, and shiny, black, leather pants that she'd paired with tasselled cowboy boots.

He'd been unable to take his eyes off of her as she'd run around the apartment collecting her bag, coat and door keys before turning to him, slightly out of breath, but with a bright smile on her face.

"You ready to go?" she'd asked him and JC has had to fight against the lump that had formed in his throat before he could speak. Ready to go? That was one way of putting it...

+ + +

As they moved together in time to the music, JC allowed himself to close his eyes, savouring the intimate moment of holding Clare in his arms. He'd never admitted his feelings out loud to anyone, but he'd secretly been falling in love with her for the past twelve months.

Although he went to lots of trouble to hide his feelings from his friends, the members of *NSYNC were completely aware of how he felt, even though Clare had remained completely in the dark.

They'd built a special friendship in the time that they'd known each other, and thanks to the fact that they shared a similar sense of humour, they often knew what the other was thinking without having to exchange any words.

Clare liked that JC was ambitious but never walked over anyone to get to where he wanted to be, and that he was polite and kind to people without being a pushover. In turn, JC knew that although Clare had a quick and fiery temper and was always ready with a sarcastic retort, she had a big heart and was secretly a very sensitive person. He felt honoured that she had chosen him to be one of the few people that she let her guard down around.

JC had come pretty close in the past few months to revealing his feelings to her, but when it had come down to it, the timing had never seemed right. However, he had a feeling deep down in his gut that one day things would slip into place for them, and that they would find a way to be together. For now, he was content to enjoy having her as one of his best friends.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Back at the table, Chris glanced around at the faces left sitting around him. Libby— unsurprisingly—seemed lost in thought, and Chris eyed her with sympathetic eyes. She'd had quite an eventful night, and he didn't blame her for being out of sorts. If only Justin had as much balls about revealing his feelings to her as he'd had about getting himself into fights then the evening might have gone in a completely different direction.

Chris glanced from Libby to the youngster, who sat brooding over his drink, and smirked to himself. Justin sure was one hell of a character. Turning his head, Chris watched as Joey slouched back into his seat and stretched one of his arms out in front of him before attempting to twirl a paper coaster around in between his thumb and third finger. He looked positively bored and Chris felt for him.

There was nothing that Joey enjoyed more than a night out clubbing, but the almost fight had put an immediate dampener on everyone's spirits. Joey was a loyal man and hadn't wanted to leave the group to go off and dance whilst Libby and Justin were behaving so out of character. Instead he'd sat at the table all night, pretending to be having a good time but looking thoroughly miserable anyway.

"Drink?" Chris asked him as he tried to drag his attention away from the spinning coaster.

"Hmm...?" Joey replied absent–mindedly as he glanced up at Chris.

"Do. You. Want. A. Drink?" Chris repeated causing a self–deprecating smirk to spread across Joey's lips.

"Sure," he answered and gave a small stretch as he rose up out of his seat. As he did so, Joey became aware that if he were to leave the table then Justin and Libby would be left alone and he hesitated, half in and half out of the chair, looking to Chris for guidance.

"Come on," Chris told him with an understanding grin and gestured with his head towards the bar. He figured that the youngsters would benefit from an opportunity to talk in private, and with everyone else having already left the table, there was no better timing than the present.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby turned her head slightly to watch as the two men walked off in the direction of the bar. She was grateful for their sensitivity and understanding of her feelings, but she was also partly relieved to see them go.

She couldn't bear to see Joey sitting there glumly knowing that it was because of her that he was forcing himself to remain at the table, when he'd much rather be off having a good time. Joey was the life and soul of the party, and she knew how much he was sacrificing to stay with her. She smiled fondly to herself as she considered the way that the group of men had rallied around her—like big, protective older brothers.

With her seeming momentarily distracted, Justin used the opportunity to rise from his seat, scraping the chair legs on the floor as he did so before heading around the table until he was standing next to her. Libby only became aware of him having moved when she turned her head back around and noticed that his chair was empty.

"Dance with me?" Justin asked, repeating his question from earlier.

"Now?" Libby asked in a slightly panicked voice as her heart began to hammer away in her chest. Now that the moment had come, she realised that her earlier stalling had done nothing to spare her nerves, and, if anything, she was even more anxious than before.

"Yeah," Justin replied softly as he held out his right hand to her.

"I don't know..." Libby replied as she stared down at his palm before glanced around to see where the rest of her friends had gotten to. Now that she thought about it, it really didn't seem like such a good idea. She was feeling so fragile, and her nerves were so jagged that it would be far too easy for her to slip up with her feelings. She'd be better off remaining at the table where everything was comfortable and safe.

Noting her hesitation, Justin squatted down so that his head was level with hers and fixed her with his most encouraging smile. "C'mon... one dance, please," he said as he tried his best to persuade her with his eyes. She didn't seem to understand how much he needed this. How his whole evening would be ruined if he didn't get at least one chance to hold her.

"Okay," Libby said after another moment of deliberation. She reached out to take Justin's hand and let him pull the chair away from her as she stood. After all I've gone through this evening I think I deserve at least one moment of happiness, she told herself.

Libby flicked her eyes to his face and noticed for the first time the triumphant smile that reached all the way up to his eyes. Libby felt herself begin to blush under his intense gaze.

One dance. That's all, Libby warned herself as Justin led her towards an open space on the dance floor and gently pulled her into his arms. He's just a friend, she repeated silently to herself as she felt him wrap his arms around her waist and saw him smile down at her as they began to move to the rhythm of the music. Just a friend...

~~~~~*~~~~~

The longer Libby spent in Justin's arms, the more the hurt of what Dan had done to her cut into her heart. She'd been so incredibly stupid to waste all that time on a man who— when it came down to it—was no better than a lying, cheating thug. How could she have allowed herself to be so blind to who he really was? He must have been a very good actor in the beginning to have caught her attention with his charismatic, endearing act. Now she felt like a complete idiot. Everyone else, it seemed, had seen Dan for his true colours and now Libby was left with egg on her face.

Of course, Libby had been grateful that her friends had been there to support her. Who knew what kind of trouble she might've ended up in if Chris hadn't been there to catch Dan's fist. Libby liked to think that her boyfriend wouldn't actually have gone ahead and hit her in front of that huge crowd, however, she'd witnessed his aggressive streak on other occasions, the last having caused her to spend a fortnight hiding bruises under heavy layers of makeup, so it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility. Only Clare had known what Dan was capable of, but now it was public knowledge.

As Libby stifled a sob and squeezed her eyes shut, she felt a solitary tear trickle its way down one of her cheeks. She tried to focus on her breathing and not think about Dan. She leaned forward to rest her cheek against Justin's chest and willed herself to stop crying.

God, he's so warm, Libby thought to herself as she listened to Justin's breathing so steady and close beside her ear. She'd forgotten how good it felt to be held by him like this. They'd only slow danced occasionally—as Libby tried her best to avoid it at all costs—but she'd never forgotten the way that it had felt when he'd first pulled her onto the dance floor. Like there was no other place on earth that she belonged.

"Lib, are you... crying?" Justin asked in a wary voice as he slowly became aware that his shirt was starting to feel damp where Libby's cheek was resting against it. He didn't want the moment to pass, but he knew that he had to say something about it.

So much for controlling yourself, Libby thought bitterly as she took a step away from Justin and began to brush the tears away with the back of her trembling hand. She dropped her eyes to the floor as the embarrassment washed over her. "I.., um... I'm so sorry," she mumbled as her tears continued to fall, and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that it might help her get a grip on her emotions.

It didn't do much good.

Seeing her tears, Justin instinctively reached forward and began to brush them away with his fingertips as he felt the familiar ache press inside his chest at the sight of her crying. He hated to see her upset, no matter what the cause, and his hand lingered by her face as he wondered what he was supposed to do next.

"Don't," Libby told him sharply as she pushed his hand away.

Justin immediately let it fall to his side, the movement displaying a little more frustration than he meant to reveal. The sound his hand made as it slapped against his thigh caused Libby's eyes to flash immediately to his face. "Nothing I do is right," Justin said in a petulant tone, his face hardening.

Libby glared up at him, surprised and upset at the sudden change in his voice and body language. "Don't you understand?" She asked as fresh tears stung at her eyes.

"I guess not."

"No, you don't," Libby said as she searched his eyes for the Justin that she needed; the one who would be man enough to understand what she couldn't yet say, and who wouldn't be expecting more from her than she could give in that moment. She couldn't find him in the man standing opposite her.

"Just forget it," Libby said as she spun around on her heels and rushed away towards the ladies' bathroom without a backwards glance.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

"Oh God, I've done it again," Justin groaned as he interrupted Clare and JC's dance to let them know what had happened with Libby. The pair reluctantly broke apart and turned to face him as he hovered by JC's shoulder.

"Done what again?" JC asked with barely concealed frustration in his voice. He wasn't thrilled to have his moment with Clare cut short, but he knew that his friend wouldn't have disturbed them unless it was important.

"Libby's in the ladies' bathroom," Justin explained as his shoulders began to sag.

"So?" Clare said as she placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him. He'd better not have come over just to tell them that.

"She's crying," Justin said, and immediately Clare's eyes hardened and she fixed him with her famous 'daggers' look.

"What did you do?" JC and Clare asked him at practically the same time.

"I don't know. We were dancing and everything was fine, and then she just started crying. I don't know what happened but she rushed off like she's mad at me."

Clare didn't need to hear any more. She abruptly turned and headed off in search of her friend.

~~~~~*~~~~~
Clare found Libby in the ladies' bathroom splashing cold water on her face. She walked up behind her friend and directed her words at Libby's reflection in the mirror. "Hey, you okay?"

"No," Libby snapped back as she wiped her face dry with one of the blue, paper tissues that she found in the dispenser on the wall. "I wish I'd never come out tonight."

Clare grimaced, feeling bad that she'd had a hand in encouraging Libby to come out with them, and she didn't blame her friend for feeling that way. In comparison, she'd had a pretty good night so far, but as always her friend was her main concern.

"If you hadn't, you might not have found out about Dan playing around," she reasoned in what she hoped was a helpful tone.

"I'm sure there are better ways of finding out," Libby said sarcastically, cutting eyes at her friend in the mirror as she tossed the used paper towel into the waste bin.

"Sure," Clare said matter–of–factly as she lifted herself onto the counter and let her legs swing over the side. She reached out and brushed a wet clump of Libby's hair out of her eyes. "But then you wouldn't have witnessed such a dramatic display of Curly's love for you."

Libby turned to Clare, her mouth a gasp, and noticed for the first time the twinkle of amusement in her dark eyes. Clare chuckled at her reaction and reached out to nudge her playfully on the shoulder. "Come on, admit it. You loved it."

"What? Watching him nearly get beaten to a pulp by my now ex–boyfriend? Yeah, it was great," Libby quipped drily. "He's just so hot–headed. Just because he doesn't get his way he has to turn into this annoying brat."

"I'm not sure I'm following," Clare replied hesitantly.

"Eurgh, it's nothing," Libby said as she shook her head a few times to clear the image of Justin's pouting, moody face as she'd pushed his hand away. "I'm so ready to go home," she said as she smiled weakly at Clare.

"Okay," Clare said as she nodded and slipped off of the counter before quickly checking her reflection in the mirror. She flicked at a few strands of hair that had come loose from her up–do, but was generally satisfied with her appearance.

"You don't have to leave, Clare. You and JC were dancing. Don't let me get in the way of you spending more time with him."

Clare searched her friend’s eyes, feeling torn. She knew that Libby would probably head straight to bed once she got home, and therefore wouldn't miss her company, but at the same time, it didn't seem fair to let her friend travel home alone after the night that she'd been having. Then again, the thought of having a few more dances with JC was incredibly appealing.

"Perhaps I could ask your bodyguard to take you home?" Clare teased with a playful grin.

Libby shook her head resolutely. "Please don't."

"He's outside, you know," Clare warned as the two women made their way over to the bathroom exit.

Libby let out a frustrated sigh as she reached for the door handle. "Hasn't he done enough?" She asked in a half serious, half joking tone. "I can't handle much more tonight."

"Then let me deal with him," Clare suggested as she placed a comforting arm around Libby's shoulders and gave her a fond squeeze. "You sneak out and head off home while I try to distract him. I'll do my best not to disturb you when I get in later."

"Thanks, Clare."

~~~~~*~~~~~

As she headed back into the busy throng of the dance floor, Clare caught Justin's eye and he immediately made his way over to her with his tail firmly between his legs.

"Lib's gone home," Clare told him before he had a chance to speak and he nodded glumly, half expecting it to have been the case.

"I screwed up," he said matter–of–factly as he ran a hand through his short hair.

"Yeah," Clare agreed before taking pity on the young man, "but she'll get over it sooner or later." She smiled up at him and let out a small chuckle. "Was it worth it, Timberlake?"

"You mean with Dan?"

Clare nodded.

"Yeah," he replied and broke out into a self–depreciating smirk. "Providing Libby forgives me, yeah."

"She will," Clare replied confidently as she looked out over the dance floor for signs of her friends. She'd been half expecting JC to be waiting for her outside the bathroom when she arrived, but unless he was lost in the crowd, he must have wandered off. She discreetly rocked forward onto her tiptoes to get a better view over the horde of people before she spotted him in the distance. All at once she wished that she had agreed to leave with Libby after all.

Clare spun around quickly and began to blink away the hot tears that had formed in her eyes. Justin noticed the change in her and quickly put two and two together as he noticed JC in the distance.

"He bumped into an old friend," Justin explained, trying his best to justify JC's actions even though he knew that he'd have his work cut out for him. Clare nodded and feigned disinterest but her flushed cheeks gave her away.

"I think you mean he's bumping into an old friend," she retorted in a strained voice and risked a glance over her shoulder to confirm what was happening. "Or perhaps that should be grinding?"

Justin cringed as he watched JC dancing and realised that Clare’s description was pretty much on the money. "Just dancing," he said in a tentative voice and Clare immediately shot him a look, silencing his final attempt to defend his friend.

"Whatever. I'm leaving."

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare moped around her office the next day, wondering what had happened between JC and the brunette that he’d been dancing at the club. She'd tried to snap out of her thoughts as she sat behind her desk and looked at her laptop screen, but Clare couldn't seem to concentrate on anything work related. She still had schedules to finish for the upcoming week's performances, and Lou Pearlman, the group's executive director, had requested a copy to be faxed through to him by the end of the working day. Clare tried her best to focus on her work, but she was fighting a losing battle. Thoughts of JC and the mystery woman refused to be pushed aside.

As Clare contemplated going to get herself another cup of coffee, she was startled by Libby, who burst suddenly into her office.

"Jeez, you look as bad as I feel!" Clare joked as Libby headed straight over to the couch by the window and flopped down onto it, lying with her head facing the side so that she could look at her friend. Libby smiled wryly at Clare's comment.

"Well, if you feel as bad as you look then you shouldn't 'ave come into work today!" Libby quipped back.

"Wow, someone's cheerful today!"

"Yeah, well, after no sleep at all last night I took a good long look in the mirror this morning and decided not to let what happened last night ruin my life."

Clare nodded a few times and smiled at her friend. "I think that's probably a good idea."

~~~~~*~~~~~

As the girls began to resume their morning's work they flicked on the CD player that was a permanent feature of Clare's office. They regularly listened to music during the day as it helped them to be more productive, and filled the silences in the office which always seemed more obvious when the guys were away.

Libby pressed the button on the player that changed the input from radio to CD and straight away the sounds of *NSYNC's first album could be heard coming through the speakers. The women would never admit it to the men's faces, but when the guys were not around they nearly always listened to their music. If caught they would have tried to explain that it was a part of their job, but secretly they both just liked the album very much.

As they began to hum and sing along to the music, an unexpected woman's voice coming from the doorway startled the pair of them.

"Hi honeys', I'm back!"

Clare looked up and instantly recognised the face of her friend beaming back at her. Rushing to her feet, Clare crossed the room to pounce on the woman before wrapping her up in a giant hug. "Jamie! How was Canada?"

Jamie was *NSYNC's assistant tour manager and a close personal friend of both Clare and Libby. She had started working for the record label at the same time as Clare, and both women had formed a close bond as they'd tried to get to grips with their new jobs. Having the support of each other had also strengthened their defence against the boys' practical jokes, which had seemed almost constant in their first few months of working with the group. All of Jamie's family lived in Toronto, Canada, and she had just returned from a fortnight’s vacation to visit them.

"Cold and busy," Jamie replied as she headed across the room towards the couch where Libby was seated. At her arrival, Libby had sat upright and tucked her feet underneath her body to make room for Jamie to sit down. "I spent more time working than I did anything else," Jamie chuckled, her dark eyes shining at Libby as she reached across for a hug.

"I hear that," Clare muttered as she turned to grimace at the mountain of paperwork on her own desk. "This 'win a date with *NSYNC' competition is so much hassle, I'm beginning to wish we hadn't thought of it!"

"Try organising a tour," Jamie responded sarcastically. "It's a nightmare, and it doesn't seem to matter how often we do it, it still becomes a pain in the ass. I've literally just got back from vacation and already my desk is groaning under the weight of the work I still have to do. Plus, my dear mother suggested that I bring my delinquent cousin back with me for a vacation. Does hell know no bounds?"

There was a short silence and then Libby began to laugh. For no matter how much Jamie protested, she could never convince anyone that she hated her job. It was common knowledge amongst everyone that they knew that she was a borderline workaholic.

"Come on then," Jamie said with a wry smile as she playfully nudged Libby in the ribs. "I've been gone for two weeks so you'd better start filling me in on what I've missed."

Libby pulled a face and glanced over at Clare. She'd been hoping that her friend wouldn't ask. "Well, Dan and I broke up. I found out that he was cheating on me." Jamie kept her face composed. She wasn't particularly surprised by Libby's news but she didn't want to show it. She'd never taken much of a liking to Dan, and was glad that her friend was finished with him. She was sorry to hear that it had ended so badly, though.

"Oh, right. When did this happen?"

"Last night."

Jamie turned to look at Clare for confirmation and the two women shared a look that said way more than words ever could. Before things became too gloomy, Clare broke out into a small smile and continued to tell the story of the night before.

"What she hasn't mentioned is that Justin nearly got himself into a fight over it. Fortunately, Libby was able to stop him from getting his ass whooped, but he still managed to get a few punches in. Then Dan went to hit Libby, and Chris stepped in—"

"Busy night!" Jamie joked as she turned back to face Libby. She kept her voice light but the concern in her eyes for her friend was evident.

"Our Chris was a hero," Clare added proudly.

"I'm surprised," Jamie said as she turned back to Clare, "I thought you were going to tell me that Chris had the pleasure of planting one on him, not Justin."

"Now, Jamie," Clare chided playfully, "that's not a good image for our boys. You don't want to encourage violence, do you?" Jamie smirked at Clare, but refused to take back her words. She wouldn't have blamed any of the men for becoming angry with Dan over the way he'd treated Libby.

"So where is everyone today?" Jamie asked as she attempted to change the subject to something more positive.

"By everyone do you mean the guys?" Libby asked her sarcastically, her sense of humour returning now that the awkward conversation was over with. "If so, they're in the dance studio downstairs rehearsing."

Jamie nodded and smiled fondly at the younger woman. She wouldn't bring up the 'Dan subject' again unless Libby mentioned it herself, but there was one question niggling away at her that she couldn't resist asking. "So how are things with you and Curly now, Sniper?"

"Hey!" Libby objected with a twinkle in her eyes. "Only Justin gets away with calling me that!"

"And I wonder why!" Jamie teased as she raised her eyebrows in Clare's direction. "And how about you and JC?" Libby sucked a breath in between her teeth causing Jamie's brow to furrow in confusion. She watched the smile disappear from Clare's face and wondered if she'd somehow managed to put her foot in it.

"Not good," Libby answered on Clare's behalf and shot her friend a sympathetic smile.

"No?" Jamie asked in a concerned voice. She was surprised to hear that things weren't okay between them. JC was so laid back that he was hardly ever the cause of any drama. Given the fact that Clare usually let him get away with anything, there was rarely an instance that disturbed their blossoming friendship.

"He was with someone else at the club last night," Clare explained in a sharp tone as she met Jamie's eyes.

Jamie cringed. "Ouch."

Both Clare and Libby nodded back. "Exactly."

~~~~~*~~~~~

The members of *NSYNC were in the dance studio with one of their choreographers going over the steps for some of their newer songs that they had yet to perform live.

It was a matter of importance that they were on top of their choreography at all times as the reputation of the group relied on them being perfectly in–sync when they performed. Although they were still awhile away from going on tour, the group still had a few scheduled television performances coming up and they wanted to be able to showcase some of their new material.

"Come on, Justin. I need your full concentration, please," Sara Ward called to him as he rolled around on the floor clutching his stomach as he laughed.

Sara had graduated from the Oklahoma City University's Ann Lacy School of American Dance and Arts Management a little over a year ago, and had surprised herself and everyone that she knew by walking straight into a job with *NSYNC.

Sara was young at only twenty two, but her training had made her the best possible person to bring a youthful, funky edge to the group's dancing. She liked their music very much, and had quickly discovered that they were easy to work with and didn't treat her differently because of her age. If anything, it had helped her to fit in.

Even though they had the tendency to be a little immature sometimes, on the whole Sara found the men to be hard–working and dedicated to their craft, something that she respected. On the odd occasion when they did clash artistically, the six of them would sit down and work it through until they reached a point where everyone was satisfied. Sara felt very lucky to have found herself a job where she could utilise her talents and be respected for her opinions.

As they'd begun going over the new routine for 'You Got It'—which Sara had just finished choreographing—JC had requested that she add in a new move that he'd been working on into the middle section of the dance. Sara had been trying her best to find a way to include it seamlessly when Justin had started to lose interest and had begun to muck about.

"Chris, show me the move again," Sara asked him and Chris immediately let out a groan of annoyance and let his arms flop noisily by his side. He didn't come as naturally to dancing as the other members of the group, but he put one–hundred percent into trying and it was never obvious from his live performances how much he struggled with the choreography.

Sara followed Chris' movements in the mirror as he performed the middle section of the routine with the new move included. Her blue eyes never left his body as he danced. When he was finished Sara nodded her head in satisfaction and grinned over at JC.

"Good. I think it works really well," she said before clapping her hands together to bring all of their attention back to her. Although Justin was by now on his feet, he was still sniggering away to himself about something, and Sara thought it best to get his focus back on the rehearsal as soon as possible.

"So if we start with..." she said as she began to run through the routine whilst facing the wall of mirrors that had been behind her, "move onto the next section, and then go into JC's move before the chorus, I think it should flow nicely."

Each of the guys nodded and agreed that her and JC's suggestions went well together. Sara felt a flutter of pride in her stomach as she realised that she'd successfully completed yet another routine for the group. If things continued in such a positive way, Sara thought to herself, then she'd have a lot to be proud of when they finally went on tour.

"Okay, great. Now, let's try it with the music!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Jamie sat in her office the next morning slowly working through the masses of paperwork that was heaped into a pile in front of her, her cell–phone began to ring. It took her a few minutes of shovelling things around on her desk before she found the phone, which had worked its way under a pile of schedules that she still needed to confirm.

Jamie was always losing her cell–phone. She was already on her eighth replacement—paid for by the company, fortunately—as she had a habit of dropping it, leaving it somewhere, or once, accidentally letting it fall into the swimming pool.

Jamie glanced at the phone's tiny screen and instantly recognised her boss, Johnny Wright's cell–phone number. He was out of town currently and Jamie felt a flutter of anxiety in the pit of her stomach at the thought of him calling her so early from a different time zone. Jamie bit down on her bottom lip as she held the phone to her ear and pressed the button to accept the call.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Jamie stormed into Clare's office half an hour later in a complete rage, startling Clare, who was staring out of the window, completely lost in a world of her own.

"What's wrong?" Clare asked her in a panicked voice as she noticed the furious expression on her friend's face.

"The damned tour!" Jamie shouted back.

"Why? What's happened?"

Before Jamie could answer her question, Libby and the five members of *NSYNC appeared in the corridor outside the office, all laughing and joking, teasing Lance about the fact that his love life was taking an unexpected turn for the better. They filed into the room completely oblivious of Jamie's fury.

Jamie turned to Clare and scowled, "God! Don't they ever knock?"

Clare shrugged and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. "It's a problem," she agreed.

Feeling her irritation rising, Jamie decided to face the problem head on and addressed the room, putting an immediate halt to the teasing of Lance. "Look!" she said angrily, and glared at each member of the group in turn. "The tour's all screwed up! One of the UK arenas has double booked us so the whole tour has to be pushed back four weeks."

Chris let out a disappointed cry, followed shortly by the others. They'd all been looking forward to touring and had made all of their personal plans around the dates that Jamie had organised. The tour being pushed back wouldn't just affect their work lives, but their personal lives as well.

"How did this happen?" Chris asked her, his frustration evident in his voice.

"I don't know. All I know is that we booked the dates later than the previous booking so we don't get the priority. They have decided to go ahead so we have to be the ones to re–arrange. And as we only have a select window of time for the other venues, the whole tour has to be re–scheduled."

"I can't believe this," JC complained as he turned to glance at his band mates. They all shared his gloomy expression.

"Believe me, they are going to be very sorry when I ring back later to re–schedule," Jamie assured them. "This is so unprofessional, and I'm really very angry." She didn't want to say it out loud, but she was upset that all the hard work that she'd already put into the tour had been for nothing.

"So, when are we flying out?" Joey asked as he pulled his cell–phone out from one of the back pockets of his jeans and opened up the calendar tool. Now that the dates were changing he'd have to cancel some of his plans.

"Nothing is official just yet, but the plan will be to fly out on August first. That way we can still fit in three days in Birmingham, four in London and three in Liverpool. I'll have to do some negotiating around Manchester and Sheffield. The important thing is to make sure that we leave room for the VMA's in September. You'll be performing so there's no way we can miss it. If everything else goes to plan, then hopefully we should fly back on the tenth of October."

"Great," Chris replied dryly, "Guess I won't be spending two weeks in Mexico before my birthday, then."

"I know. It sucks," Jamie agreed as Joey looked up at her from his phone, his displeasure evident on his face, "but there's nothing I can do about it, I'm afraid. Johnny's furious, obviously. This really screws up everything for everyone."

"Yeah," Clare added glumly as she glanced over at Libby. Each of them had arranged their plans around the original tour dates, so it wasn't just Jamie's work that would have to be re–done.

"Great. I guess we'd better get started," Libby said to Clare.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Later on as the guys gathered in the affectionately named 'games room' on the ground floor of the building, Chris made his way over to JC, who was slobbed out across the couch, his head resting against one of the armrests. From a distance it appeared as though he was asleep, but Chris could see that his eyes were wide open and staring up at the ceiling.

As he stood over him, JC seemed to become aware of his friend's presence and his eyes flicked to Chris' face. Around them, Joey and Justin were engaged in a friendly game of pool and only Lance was missing, having gone off to check his emails in one of the empty offices down the hall. The banter between Justin and Joey was so loud that Chris had to strain to be heard over the noise.

"What's up with you?"

JC hesitated to answer and ran a hand down the side of his face and over his chin. He looked tired, but more importantly, troubled.

"Nothin'," JC mumbled as he raised himself into a seated position, giving Chris' the chance to sit down if he so wished. He tried to ignore Chris' curious expression and turned his attention to the game of pool.

"Come on," Chris said, "I know when something's buggin' ya. Out with it."

JC shook his head and let out a weary sigh. "It's not really something I can talk about here."

"Let's take a walk then," Chris suggested.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"So, what's on your mind?" Chris asked as he and JC stepped outside the building and began to follow the footpath that circled the Compound and ran alongside the lake. As soon as they were out of the air–conditioned building, the Florida sun beat down on them from directly overhead, but both men were well used to it.

"Where do I even start?" JC asked with a heavy heart.

"The beginning is usually good," Chris chuckled, but stopped short when he noticed the dejected expression on his friend's face.

"This is serious, man."

"Okay, sorry. How serious are we talkin' here?"

"Alyson serious."

"Your ex, Alyson? Alyson that you saw last night at the club?" Chris asked for clarification.

"Yeah, you know I left with her to make sure that she got home safe?"

"Yeah."

JC raised his eyebrows and looked at his friend, hoping that his imagination would fill in the gaps. Chris looked back at him blankly for a moment before the realisation hit him and he let out a knowing chuckle. "You didn't!"

"I didn't plan to. The evening just kinda progressed."

"Ooh... that's good," Chris grinned, "I'll have to remember that one myself, the evening just kinda progressed," he chuckled.

"I know it was stupid, you don't have to tell me. It's just when I saw her all of those old feelings came back and I just couldn't remember why we'd split up, you know?"

Chris nodded but chose not to say what he was thinking. He remembered why JC had split up with Alyson, even if his friend couldn't, but it didn't seem appropriate to mention at that time. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Everything has suddenly become so much more complicated. I mean, I was dancing with Clare, and everything was great and then Aly turned up—"

"And now your head is all messed up. I get it. Women have a habit of doing that to a man; whoever said that they were the weaker sex was an idiot."

Chris' attempt at a joke was lost on JC, and they fell into silence as they made their way across the car lot and back towards the main entrance of the building. Realising that he didn't have much time left to try to draw his friend out, Chris decided to ask the next question that was pressing on his mind. "So are you going to see Alyson again?"

JC shrugged. "She said to call, but to be honest I don't even know if I want to."

"Dude—"

"It's not that. I just have these ridiculous feelings of guilt over it. It's crazy, I know, but I really feel as though I've cheated on Clare." Chris nodded and gave his friend a sympathetic smile. He could completely understand why his friend would feel that way.

"I thought you might say that. Dude, you have to remember that you aren't together," he said gently, wanting to reassure his friend but not hurt his feelings. Things between JC and Clare were complicated, to say the least. "You can't beat yourself up over that."

"I know, but we both know that she's gonna be furious if she finds out. It's happened at the worst possible time, too. We've been getting along so well lately." He ran a hand through his hair and looked over at Chris. "What am I gonna do?"

Chris sucked in a breath and released it in a huff, raising his eyebrows as he prepared to answer his friend. JC's eyes searched his face, hoping that he was about to come out with an insight that might somehow make his problems easier to handle.

"I dunno, but I have to say, I'm glad I'm not in your shoes."

JC narrowed his eyes. "Thanks, Chris. That's really helpful."

"Any time, man."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Clare kindly volunteered to go round to Jamie's apartment after work to help her with the re–scheduling of the tour, leaving Libby home alone in the apartment for the evening. Although she'd initially intended to continue preparing for her upcoming exams, she chose instead to slob out on the couch, hoping that she'd be able to find something worth watching on the television to keep her occupied.

Just as she reached the end of the long list of cable channels and pressed the button on the remote that would take her back to the beginning again, Libby heard a gentle, repetitive tapping at the front door. She got up from the couch to answer the door, dragging her feet all the way, hoping that it wouldn't turn out to be a door–to–door salesperson. They always managed to find a way to talk her around despite her best efforts to say that she wasn't interested.

"Oh. What are you doing here?" Libby asked shyly as she opened the door to find Justin standing on the other side.

Justin shrugged casually and grinned at her. "Movie night," he explained, before brushing past her into the apartment without waiting for an invitation. Libby watched as he disappeared into the living room and slowly turned around to close the door behind him. Libby followed him into the living room and stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching as he flopped down exactly where she had been sitting on the couch and began fiddling with the remote to set the television to receive VCR signal.

Libby wasn't sure what he thought that he was doing. The last time they'd spoken she'd been rushing off to the ladies' bathroom to escape, and now here he was, in her home, acting as though it was perfectly normal for him to turn up out of the blue.

She hadn't been avoiding him at work—as such. It was more that she'd ensured that she wasn't left alone with him since that infamous night at the club. She'd been doing a pretty good job of it so far, but now she felt even more uncomfortable around him than ever.

"I bought a video over," Justin explained with a quick glance over at her face. It seemed to be the first time that he'd questioned whether or not his actions would be overstepping the line. "Is that okay?"

Libby hesitated. What was she supposed to say? She wasn't exactly sure if it was okay, but could she really tell him that without hurting his feelings?

"What's the movie?" Libby asked, trying to dodge the question as she took a few tentative steps towards him and tried to peep inside the carrier bag that he'd bought over with him. He quickly scrunched the opening closed with his hand and grinned up at her.

"Guess."

"Speed," Libby said confidently without needing to guess. If there was ever a choice of which movie to watch, Justin always chose Speed, and Libby could tell straight away by the smirk that appeared on his face that she was right. Libby couldn't help but smile back at him— Justin’s enthusiasm was infectious.

Libby weighed up the options in her head and debated whether or not she could handle an evening alone with him. Providing they continued to keep the mood light, she saw no reason why they couldn't enjoy watching a movie together without it becoming awkward.

Libby’s silence was enough to assure Justin that she wasn't about to kick him out, and he got up to put the VCR into the opening of the player and returned to flop back onto the couch, nestling into the cushions until he was comfortable.

Libby walked over and awkwardly perched herself onto the arm of the couch at the opposite end to where he was sitting. "So you've decided to bring over a movie to watch that you've already seen a million times before?" She said playfully.

"Hey, it's a good action movie," Justin said defensively as he glanced over at her before an expression of confusion crossed his face. He wanted to ask her why she wasn't joining him on the couch, but thought better of it at the last minute. So far his plan had worked, but he didn't want to ruin the whole thing by being too forward and scaring her off.

"Of course it is," Libby chuckled. "And there was me foolishly thinking that it had something to do with a certain leading lady!"

Justin beamed, his eyes twinkling at her. He secretly loved that she knew him so well, and he took her teasing as a positive sign that her barriers were already beginning to break down.

"Comfy?" Justin asked her with a pointed look as the opening credits began to roll on the television screen.

"Mm–hmm," Libby mumbled in reply, but Justin could tell that she was lying. He'd never seen her looking so tense and uneasy around him. There was no way that he could concentrate on the movie with her sitting in such an awkward position. It made him feel edgy to see her second guessing herself around him as they were usually so natural and relaxed around each other.

"No, you're not," Justin challenged as he reached an arm out and pulled Libby down onto the spare seat beside him. Libby gasped at him—taken aback by his sneaky manoeuvre—and hoped that her cheeks weren't too flushed by his unexpected touch. "Hey!" She protested, but Justin pretended not to hear her.

Libby didn't know what to do with herself. For once in her life her limbs felt far too long and gangly, her body seeming to take up too much space on the couch. She tucked her legs underneath her and rested her back against the cushions, but she still couldn't get completely comfortable. She glanced at Justin, who had his legs sprawled out in front of him, one of his socked feet sneakily resting on her and Clare's coffee table.

If Clare saw him do that she'd kick him out, Libby thought to herself with a wry smile.

Taking a deep breath but restricting how she released it so as not to draw unnecessary attention to herself, Libby decided to just allow herself to relax and be distracted by the movie. No doubt Clare would be home by the time that it finished anyway, and so Libby assured herself that she wouldn't have to worry about any awkward goodbyes at the front door.

Like Justin, Libby had seen the movie many times before, but even so she quickly found herself getting involved in the storyline and soon stopping thinking about him, or worrying about how uncomfortable she'd felt when he'd arrived. The time seemed to fly, and it wasn't until about three–quarters of the way through the movie that Libby realised that her legs had gone numb beneath her.

She shuffled around in her seat trying her best to get comfortable, but what she really wanted to do was to stretch out. Her neck hurt from the tension that she'd been carrying in her shoulders from sitting stiffly for so long, and she realised that it was ridiculous for her not to allow herself to get comfortable in her own apartment.

Glancing cautiously at Justin, who was completely absorbed by the movie, she slouched down in her seat so that her shoulders were resting against the arm rest and wiggled around until the rest of her body settled into a somewhat horizontal position. The only thing that stopped her from being truly comfortable was Justin's leg, which was in the way of hers. Unlike Libby, he was in relatively the same position that he'd been in when the movie had started. Libby pondered her options for a moment and then rolled her eyes at her own trepidation. After all, they were in her apartment, and were sitting on her couch.

"Move it, Curly," she said as she nudged Justin's leg with her big toe.

"Nah, I'm comfortable," Justin mumbled back distractedly, his eyes never leaving the television screen. As Libby watched him she noticed that he was so involved in the movie that he was silently mouthing the lines of dialogue along with the actors. His blue eyes were wide, and he had a cute, boyish expression on his face that Libby couldn't help but find adorable.

"Move it!" Libby persisted, and she turned her nudging into a gentle kick. She was going to get him to move even if she had to use brute force to do it.

Without moving his eyes away from the TV screen, Justin captured both of her feet in his hands and placed them directly into his lap. His fingers lingered over the arch on her right foot and before Libby could say anything, he began to gently massage her skin, his hands moving higher and higher up towards her ankle until he was practically stroking her leg.

Libby stared at him, her body frozen stiff in shock. Justin was still looking at the television screen with such a focused gaze that Libby knew that he had acted completely unconsciously. To him it had clearly felt like the most natural thing in the world to do, and Libby couldn't help but feel a thrill at the way that he'd slipped so easily into being considerate and affectionate towards her.

For the first time that evening, Libby began to wonder how she might feel if Justin suddenly broke his gaze away from the movie and leaned across to kiss her as spontaneously as he'd scooped her feet up into his lap.

As if coming to his senses, Justin's hands suddenly froze on Libby’s leg and he turned to her with such a look of panic that Libby wanted to laugh aloud. The atmosphere in the room crackled with electricity and she realised that it would take very little for them to go straight past awkwardness and into something very different. Then, all of a sudden, Justin’s smile broke and his fingers went from stroking one second to tickling the next.

"No!" Libby shrieked and began to squirm around on the couch in an attempt to free herself from his grasp. Justin let out an evil laugh as he continued to tickle her, a mischievous grin appearing on his face. He liked it when she was helpless against him and he knew that tickling was currently the quickest—if not the only—way to achieve that.

Eventually, Libby managed to get a foot free, and she kicked out at Justin without giving a second thought to her aim, or how much force she’d used. It was only when Justin let out a gasp of pain and covered his face with his hands that Libby realised that she'd somehow managed to kick him square in the face.

"You broke my nose!" Justin said in a pained voice, his words muffled by his hands.

"I'm so sorry!" Libby said as she slid across the couch to peer closely at his face, trying to gauge how badly he was hurt. She tried her best not to picture what Clare's reaction might be if she returned home to find blood all over their couch, and Justin sitting there with a broken nose. It wouldn't be the easiest thing for Libby to try to explain.

Reaching out towards him, Libby tried to carefully pry his fingers away from Justin’s face, but he quickly dodged out of the way and continued to moan aloud, his eyes squeezed shut as he struggled with the pain.

"Let me see!" Libby told him irritably as he continued to bob and weave away from her grasping hands. She had little chance of seeing how badly he was injured unless he kept still long enough for her to take a proper look.

Anticipating his next move, Libby deftly snatched at one of his thumbs and pulled it, along with the rest of his hand, firmly away from his face, her expression distorting into a cringe as she awaited the inevitable flow of blood that would doubtless be pouring down Justin’s face. To her surprise, Justin immediately burst into hysterical, whooping laughter and Libby quickly came to realise that he'd been faking the whole thing.

"You're a jerk!" Libby told Justin playfully as she smacked him across the chest with her balled up fist. Although she was annoyed that she'd fallen for yet another of his pranks, Libby couldn't help but laugh at how gullible she'd been. She really should've known better. "You had me thinking that I'd hurt you!" She told him as she narrowed her eyes.

"Nah, you kick like a girl," Justin replied with a snigger as he casually glanced at his wrist watch. He looked up and gave her a crooked smile before gesturing behind her at the clock on the wall. Libby twisted around in her seat to follow his gaze. "I'd better be off, we've got a photo shoot with Teen Beat early tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep."

It was only then that Libby turned her attention to the television screen and realised that the movie had ended. She hadn't even noticed. "Then I guess it's a good thing that you don't have a broken nose," she chuckled and offered him an apologetic smile.

To her surprise, Libby found that she was disappointed that their evening had come to an end. She'd been having a good time and had enjoyed his company. "How early is early?" Libby asked Justin as he rose to his feet and collected the video from the machine before slipping on his sneakers.

"Six–thirty," Justin replied.

Libby grimaced. Sometimes she wondered how the members of the group managed to maintain their crazy schedules. She, for one, couldn't survive without at least seven hours of sleep a night, and was a terrible grouch in the mornings regardless. Justin, however, was a bundle of energy no matter what the time of day.

"I guess I'll see you sometime tomorrow then," Libby said as she followed Justin to the front door.

"Yup, sure will," Justin said cheerfully as he swung his jacket up and over his shoulder before turning around to face her. "See ya, Libs."

"Bye," Libby said as she held the door open for him and smiled up at him shyly. "Thanks for bringin' the movie over. I had a good time."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare was woken early the next morning by the ringing of the telephone on her bedside table. It took her a few moments to rouse herself properly before she was able to answer the call.

"Hello?" She said groggily into the receiver.

"Have you seen the local paper this morning?" A no–nonsense voice asked on the other end of the line. Clare frowned.

"Jamie?" She asked hesitantly as she began to recognise her friend's voice. Only Jamie could have it so together first thing in the morning.

"Yes, it's me. Now focus. Paper?"

"Err, no," Clare answered in between yawns. "Why?"

"You're not at work yet," Jamie said, pointing out the obvious. "Are you still in bed?"

Clare sat upright at the accusation in her friend's voice, her stomach tightening in anxiety. Was she late? Was she in some sort of trouble at work? And what could be in the local paper that might interest her?

The Orlando Weekly was a small publication that reported local news around the Orlando area. It wasn't something that Clare usually went out of her way to read. She might flick through it occasionally on a morning as she ate her breakfast, but that was pretty much it. The standard articles that featured in the paper were local news pieces and restaurant reviews, combined with money–off vouchers for the theme parks. Therefore the paper rarely got much attention outside of the state.

"Um, I guess I slept in a bit late..." Clare muttered awkwardly as she glanced at her bedside clock. She felt a bit like a teenager being chastised by their mother for oversleeping. "Wait a minute, Jam, it's only eight–fifteen!" Clare exclaimed with a roll of her eyes. Her alarm wasn't due to go off for another fifteen minutes.

"Whatever, Clare. I need you to promise me that you'll come straight to work without looking at any papers. Come straight to my office before you do anything else."

"Jeez, Jam. What's the big deal?"

"Just promise me, Clare."

"Okay, fine. I promise. Now I'm up, I'll take a shower and come straight in. I'll see you in about half an hour or so."

"Okay, Clare. Just remember—come straight to my office."

"Heard you the first time, Jamie."

Clare hung up the phone and climbed out of bed, her mind whirling around the bizarre conversation that she'd just had. What could have gotten into Jamie? And why was she suddenly so obsessed with the local paper? Clare rushed through her shower, got dressed, and headed straight off to work as she'd promised, collecting the mail from the box outside the apartment as she made her way over to her car.

Whatever has gotten under Jamie's skin most likely has something to do with work, Clare mused. They'd both made a lot of progress with the re–scheduling of the tour the night before, but even so Clare knew that there was still a lot of work to be done. But what that had to do with the local press, though, was anyone's guess.

Clare pulled up into her parking space in front of the main building and grabbed the mail, which she'd carelessly tossed onto the passenger seat earlier, so that she could go through it during her lunch break. It was a few days after pay day and so she was fully expecting to have a handful of bills to sort through. What she found, however, sent a chill of horror running down her spine.

Clare somehow managed to force herself to breathe as she stared at the front page of the paper. Oh, God. Please, no!

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Clare tore her eyes away from the paper in her hand, she noticed that someone was standing beside her car, looking through the driver's window at her with a worried expression on their face. Jamie.

Clare met her friend's eyes briefly before turning her attention back to the newspaper, which she was now clutching tightly in her shaking hand. In all the carfuffle of the morning she'd completely overlooked the fact that her copy of the local paper was posted directly to her apartment.

"Oh, Clare," Jamie groaned as she opened the driver's door and stared helplessly at her friend. Jamie realised that all of her earlier efforts to protect Clare had been for nothing.

"I'm going to kill him," Clare said in such a quiet, menacing tone that Jamie had to lean forward and ask her to repeat it several times before she understood. She stared at her friend, unsure of how to respond.

"Where is he?" Clare asked as she tried to suck in a deep breath. She was so angry that tears began to form behind her eyes, which only served to make her angrier. She was determined that she was not going to cry. Clare removed her seatbelt and climbed out of the car, grasping at the corner of the door before slamming it forcefully closed. Jamie winced at the sound as she debated whether or not to answer her friend. Quickly realising that forcing Clare to search the building for her intended victim might give her a chance to calm down, Jamie decided to take a gamble. It was a risky plan but worth a try. For JC's sake, at least.

"Clare, we don't know that any of that is true. Maybe before you start—"

"On second thoughts, don't tell me," Clare snapped harshly as she interrupted Jamie mid–sentence. "It'll give me more time to work out how I'm going to kill him."

Jamie watched as Clare stomped away from her towards the main entrance of the building without a backwards glance. She hoped that JC was prepared for the thunderstorm that was headed his way but somehow she doubted that he would be.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare's initial plan was to look for JC in the guy’s unofficial 'office' on the first floor. Second only to the games room, it was the place where the members of the group spent the most time when not working. Clare had had the right idea, but, unfortunately, she found only four out of the five members of the group—the crucial one being absent.

As she entered the room, Clare noticed that Justin quickly turned his head away from her and pretended to be absorbed by staring out of the window at the blue sky. Clare immediately zeroed in on him as her suspicions rose. If anyone knew where JC would be it'd be his old MMC pal, Justin. They were as thick as thieves.

"Where is he?" Clare asked angrily as she stormed over to where Justin was sitting on the couch and loomed over him. Justin didn't answer—or even bother to turn around to face her—which further irritated her. "Justin, I asked you a question," Clare snapped at him.

Justin turned his head towards her, keeping his face completely composed to the point of appearing half–asleep. "Hmm...?"

Clare's eyes bore into Justin’s. She knew that he was covering for his band mate, but it angered her that he was also deliberately trying to piss her off when she was already so obviously wound up. She was determined not to be distracted by his stalling tactics.

"Don't give me that crap. Just tell me where he is."

"Where who is?" Joey asked from across the room. Clare turned around to face him, missing the smirk that Justin gave Joey for saving him from Clare's interrogation.

"You know very well who. The last edition to this group," Clare explained in a strained voice.

"Lance?" Chris chuckled as he pointed at Lance, who was sitting next to Justin on the couch. Clare turned and met Lance's eyes, noticing for the first time the visible discomfort on his face. He seemed to be the only one who didn't find their teasing of her amusing.

"You can joke all you want, but I will find him. With or without your help," Clare said as she narrowed her eyes at Chris.

"What's he done that's got you so moody?" Chris asked her sarcastically. Unlike the other members of the group who were still in the dark about what had happened between JC and Alyson, Chris knew exactly why Clare was upset. Although he had no idea how she'd managed to find out—he certainly hadn't said anything to anyone.

"I'm sure you already know," Clare hissed at him, "it's all over the local papers." She angrily tossed the newspaper that she was still holding towards his head and he caught it easily in one hand. Justin, Lance and Joey all gathered around him as he began to read aloud.

"’I had a one night stand with JC from *NSYNC'," Chris read, before looking up to meet Clare's eyes. Unlike the other three men in the room, who all gasped and exchanged shocked glances, Chris kept his eyes fixed firmly on Clare

"When did this happen?" Lance asked in surprise.

"Hang on a minute," Chris interrupted as he offered the newspaper to Joey, who snatched it up out of his hands to get a better look at the article. "Are you upset because this happened, or because it has ended up in the papers?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Clare snapped at him. "This has nothing to do with me."

Chris raised his eyebrows and flashed her a mocking grin, which caused Clare to narrow her eyes in response. If he was trying to press her buttons then he was doing a very good job, but Clare was determined to save the best of her wrath for JC.

"You know what, Kirkpatrick? I really don't care what you think. Sorry if my concern for your stupid group is more of a priority to me than allowing you to delve into my personal life. You can sit here and laugh about this if you like, but I'm the one who's going to have to sort out some form of damage control. So go ahead and protect him. But you might want to start looking for a replacement lead singer, 'cause when I'm finished with him you're going to need one."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare found JC in the very last place that she'd thought to look—the outdoor basketball court. Without a word, she walked up behind him and snatched the basketball out of his hands before he could line it up for his next shot.

"Hey!" JC complained as he turned around to see who had interfered with his game. He was silenced by one look at Clare's furious face and his brow furrowed into a frown.

"Answer me something," Clare said as she let the ball roll away across the court and turned to face him, her hands pressed firmly onto her hips. She was desperately trying to keep her emotions under control so that JC wouldn't see how truly upset she was for no other reason than that she was jealous. "Where did you go on Saturday night after the club?"

"Home," JC replied quickly.

"Before you went home, smart ass."

JC frowned and hesitated slightly before he answered. Could she really have found out about him and Alyson? Had Chris said something to her? JC couldn't risk coming clean without knowing for sure that was the reason she was so upset.

"Hello?" Clare said sarcastically as she clicked her fingers in front of his face, denying him what she thought was an opportunity for him to come up with an evasive answer.

"I took a friend home. Why?"

"A friend," Clare repeated with a bitter chuckle, causing JC's face to darken with irritation. He didn't like the tone of her voice, or the way she'd mocked his use of the word friend.

"Yes..."

"A good friend?" Clare asked as she maintained eye contact whilst hiding her trembling hands behind her back. She wasn't sure if it was adrenaline or borderline hysteria that was causing her hands to shake.

"Yes..."

Clare sneered again, her eyes tightening. "Well, that friend of yours just sold a story about you to the papers," she snapped at him.

JC's eyebrows shot up and he gawped at her. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You want me to spell it out for you, do you? Okay then, JC. Let me see. Oh yes, it was something about you having—and I'm quoting here—a 'one–night stand' with your good friend on Saturday night. There, I bet you wish you hadn't asked me now, don't you?"

"That's impossible," JC told her stubbornly, causing Clare to let out another bitter laugh.

"Impossible?" Clare repeated with another sneer, "Well, for something that's impossible, there sure are a lot of gory details in this week's Orlando Weekly. It even features a very flattering photograph of the pair of you together, just in case the headline 'My One–Night Stand with JC from *NSYNC' doesn't catch enough attention. Thanks for the heads–up, by the way. I just loved finding out about this over breakfast this morning. Just like many of your young, impressionable fans probably are as well. Great job."

"I... I don’t..." JC stammered, completely floored by her words. Alyson wouldn't have... couldn't have... Could she?

"What? You don't what? Do you realise that the whole rest of my week is now going to be taken up by saving your sorry ass instead of catching up on my actual work. And don't even try to tell me that this will only feature in the local papers, because I'm sure it’s probably all over the internet by now. So well done. You've officially made my life hell."

"Clare, it wasn't like that. You have to know—"

"Nope, I really don't. I don't have to know anything. But an apology that I can offer to the parents of the fans who are bound to call me up to complain about your behaviour would be helpful. What would you like me to say on your behalf, Joshua?"

"It wasn't a one–night stand."

Clare felt her heart plummet to the bottom of her chest. It was the worst possible thing that he could've said to her at that moment. If only he'd said that it had been a one–time thing—a mistake. That she could've handled. But not him saying that he didn't regret what had happened. That he might actually have feelings for this friend.

"She's an ex. We bumped into each other at the club the other night and as she was alone, I went home with her to make sure that she got there safe. It wasn't planned. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did."

"A mistake," Clare repeated cynically.

"We all make them. Even you!"

"My mistakes don't usually involve me jumping into bed with the first friend I meet."

"Hey," JC challenged her, his eyes darkening at the judgement in her tone. "That's not fair."

"Neither is me having to deal with your personal drama. I have much more important things to do, especially now that the tour is all messed up. The last thing I need is to have to deal with a load of negative press. Especially not with the Kids Choice Awards just around the corner. Great timing I must say."

"I'm sorry that my personal life is such a nuisance to you, Clare," JC replied with a roll of his eyes. Her tone was beginning to grate on him and he didn't like the accusation in her voice. He knew that he'd messed up, but he was an adult and was more than capable of dealing with the repercussions of his actions.

"Don't you talk to me like that," Clare retaliated angrily. "Your personal issues are your problem unless they affect your career, at which point they become my problem. You seem to have forgotten that it’s my job to keep you looking squeaky clean and oh–so innocent."

"Look, all I can say is that I don't understand how this has ended up in the papers. It must be some kind of mistake."

"Mistake," Clare sneered and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, JC. These stories don't just end up in the papers by themselves. Someone must have spoken to a journalist to get this information. You can remain in denial if you wish but if I were you, I'd go and speak to your friend and find out what happened. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Is he still alive?" Justin muttered under his breath as Clare marched back into her office to find that the rest of the members of *NSYNC had gathered around her desk to await her return from her showdown with JC. Clare heard his comment but was too preoccupied to retort. Instead, she headed straight towards her desk and slumped down into her chair.

"She says in the article that it was for old times’ sake," Lance told her in what he hoped was a helpful way as he watched Clare rub at the temples on her forehead. She had a doozy of a headache forming, and Clare knew that it was only bound to get worse as the day went on.

"Great," she said dryly. "Little does she know what that 'old times’ sake' will do to the reputation of this group."

Lance nodded gloomily and dropped the newspaper onto her desk before retreating back to the couch on the other side of the room. Clare quickly shoved the paper away from her and let it fall off the edge and into her waste paper bin. Where it belonged, she thought to herself.

"I know that this is probably a stupid question, but is this really such a big deal?" Justin asked from where he was leaning against the doorframe.

"If you know that it's a stupid question, why did you ask it?" Clare snapped at him as she looked up to meet his eyes. Justin raised an eyebrow at her and opened his mouth to make a cutting remark but was interrupted by Joey.

"Anyone wanna place bets on how long it'll be before the first frantic phone call?" Joey asked, trying his best to lighten the atmosphere in the room and prevent another argument from starting. Clare let out a huff of annoyance but didn't say anything. Joey wasn't a stranger himself to the odd scandal, and he sympathised with JC. He'd earned his reputation as a bit of a playboy, but JC's would be undeserved. In his opinion, there wasn't another person on earth who put more thought into their actions than his band mate.

"Ten minutes," Clare said as she took up the bet to the surprise of everyone else in the room. She glanced up to meet their eyes and shrugged. If she was going to spend the next few days dealing with angry fans over the phone then she might as well get a little money out of it. Clare collected her purse from where she usually kept it in the bottom drawer of her desk and scooped out a twenty dollar note.

"Before midday," Chris said, matching Clare's twenty dollars with his own. He'd deserved his nickname of 'Lucky' over the years, thanks to all the impromptu bets that the group randomly sprung on each other.

"An hour!" Justin added as he reached into the back pocket of his jeans for some loose change. He rarely carried a wallet with him but always seemed to have cash stashed somewhere on his person.

"Hang on, little one," Clare teased him. "Are you sure that your piggy bank can stretch that far?"

"The question is," a voice said from the doorway, "can he count that far?" Clare looked over just in time to see Libby shoot Justin a sly grin as she walked into the office. He sneered back at her and rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed at her remark.

"You saw it then?" Chris asked Libby as she headed over towards Clare's desk, her eyes searching her friend's face for signs of the hurt that she expected to find there.

"Of course. It's pretty hard to avoid, I'm afraid." Clare nodded soberly at her friend's words and attempted a weak smile. Even with her office packed with people, Libby and Clare were still able to have a silent conversation amongst themselves with just a shared look. Both girls knew that with all the attention that the group had been getting, and their growing popularity with the teenybopper set in Orlando, the story could run for months, prolonging both their workload and Clare's misery.

It was at this moment that Clare's phone began to ring and everyone except Libby let out an elongated groan.

"Damn," Chris said glumly to no one in particular. "Who had ten minutes?"

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Justin waited until Lance had left the room to get himself a soda before he addressed the other members of the group in hushed tones. "So, is everyone prepared for the party tonight?"

It was the morning of Lance's 20th birthday and a surprise party had been planned for that evening to celebrate. The preparations had taken weeks to organise, but, fortunately, Lance had been kept completely in the dark about it.

Lance literally had no idea, and had even assumed that the group had forgotten all about his birthday. Due to his hatred of making other people feel uncomfortable he hadn't yet said anything to anyone about it, amusing the group no end. There was no way that the members of *NSYNC, or the girls who worked with the group, would have forgotten.

The dress code was fancy dress, with the overall theme being 'famous heroes and villains'. Most of the guests had agreed to dress up, but those unwilling to cooperate had received their costume suggestions randomly picked from a hat.

"Party? Is it someone’s birthday?" Jenny asked innocently as she perched on the arm of the couch in Libby's office where everyone else was hanging out. Jenny had spent the morning in lectures with Libby and had been invited back to the Compound afterwards to spend some time with her friend. The fact that she might bump into Lance whilst she was there hadn't been lost on her either, and Jenny had been casually eyeing the doorway ever since he'd left the room.

"It's a party for Lance. It’s his twentieth birthday today," JC explained with a quick glance at the doorway to make sure that his band mate wasn't within earshot.

"Oh, I had no idea," Jenny replied, her cheeks flushing at the mention of Lance's name. She glanced down at her hands, which were positioned awkwardly in her lap, and began to pick randomly at one of her fingernails. Despite spending some time around the members of *NSYNC, Jenny still found herself feeling slightly awkward in their company. She found Chris' unpredictable nature made her feel intimidated and shy, and she didn't really know what to say to JC or Joey.

"You're invited to come if you want to," JC told her, choosing to ignore her embarrassment. "I'm sure Lance would like to see you there."

Jenny looked over and flashed him a genuine, bright smile. "Thanks, I’d like that,"

"You do have to come in Spandex, though," Chris added and Jenny stared at him in horror as her cheeks flushed crimson once again.

"What? That's the rule, right guys?" Chris sniggered as he looked around the room at his friends, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"He's only joking, Jen," Libby tried to reassure her friend as she met Justin's eyes across the room and giggled. It had been a while since the group had been around someone as innocent as Jenny, and Chris couldn’t seem to stop himself from messing with her. 

Chris grinned at Jenny and slyly winked. "Yeah, I'm really not."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Eurgh, I hate fancy dress! Whose dumbass idea was this any way?" Libby complained aloud from her bedroom as she struggled into her tight costume. All the girls had arranged to get changed at Clare and Libby's apartment and share a taxi to the party venue. It was fortunate as they were all struggling to get ready on time.

"The same dumbass who organized this whole party!" Sara replied as she sat down in front of Libby's dressing table mirror and began to style her hair. She was dressed in an early twentieth–century style gown that flattered her skin tone. Her plan was to go to the party as the character 'Rose' from her favourite movie, Titanic.

Sara was a huge fan of the actor Leonardo DiCaprio, and she'd seen the movie Titanic more times than she could count. It was because of this that she'd earned the nickname 'Rose' after the character, and because of the small tattoo of the flower that she had on her lower back.

"Rose, are you cursing me?" Clare shouted loudly from her room.

"I like my outfit," Jenny said from inside the bathroom where she was adding the finishing touches to her costume. She had made a last minute decision to go as 'Buffy' from the hit television show. Libby had suggested that they combine a few items from each of their closets to make up her costume, sparing Jenny from having to scour the local shops looking for something to wear.

"You're going as Buffy? What a cop–out!" Jamie complained as she regarded Jenny's outfit and then looked down at her own. "You get to wear normal, everyday clothes and we have to wear PVC and leather! Where is the justice?" She placed a hand over the tight fabric of her waistband and sucked in her stomach in an attempt to make it appear completely flat. "This fabric shows every lump and bump!"

"You don't have any lumps and bumps," Lisa challenged her from inside the kitchen as she stood leaning against a counter taking sips from an opened bottle of water.

Frustrated by her friend's comment, Jamie stomped out of the bathroom and into the kitchen area looking for Lisa. "Please! You look tiny and petite in your costume. Mine just draws attention to all the wrong areas."

Lisa couldn't help but smile to herself. She couldn't deny that she looked good in her outfit. She'd chosen to go as the character 'Poison Ivy' from the Batman Forever movie, and she'd put lots of effort into making her costume as accurate to the character as possible. Lisa was a fiery young woman with long red hair, which she had partly tied up onto the top of her head letting the rest flow in curls down her back. Her green Lycra outfit and hand–made mask made her a dead ringer for the comic villain. Lisa was glad that her college course had allowed her time to be in Florida for Lance's birthday party. She wouldn't have wanted to miss it for the world.

"Eurgh!" Libby continued to complain from her bedroom. "Whose God forsaken idea was it to give me Batgirl?"

"You wouldn't choose so your costume was chosen for you!" Clare said matter–of–factly as she added the finishing touches to her makeup in the large mirror that hung in her bedroom.

"Put a cork in it, Leia!" Libby sniggered.

"How do you think the guys are managing with their costumes?" Jamie asked Lisa as she tugged at the zipper on one of her black, knee high boots and jerked forward as the action set her off balance. "There's no way that they could be having as much trouble as we are. Now I know why I hate PVC!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

The men had all argued over how they were going to get Lance into his costume without him guessing about the surprise party. The only thing they'd agreed on was that they needed a fool proof strategy. In the end, they'd decided to pretend to have remembered his birthday at the last minute and made hasty arrangements to go out to Planet Hollywood to celebrate. That only left the problem of explaining the need for them to be in costume, which Joey had saved the day with, suggesting that they explain to Lance that it was a theme night. As Chris had not so helpfully pointed out, it still didn't explain why they all had perfect costumes prepared in advance, but it was hoped that Lance wouldn't notice.

Fortunately, when the time came, Lance had been so thrown by the idea of them going out for the night that he hadn't questioned the obvious flaws in their plan. He’d been more preoccupied by their choice for his costume.

"Well, Scoop," Chris said with a chuckle as he regarded Lance with a smirk on his face. "The girls will definitely be all over you tonight!"

"I look like an idiot," Lance replied as he narrowed his eyes at Chris. "I haven't forgotten that this was all your idea."

"Oh no, not mine," Chris lied, "The girls chose your outfit. And very specific about it they were too."

Lance took another look at himself in the mirror and cringed. Some birthday this would turn out to be with him looking like—

"Look at Luke Perry!" Joey spluttered with laughter as he entered the room wearing his trusty 'Superman' costume. Chris sniggered, not only at the sight of Joey once again donning his favourite fancy–dress outfit, but also at Lance's obvious embarrassment at the whole situation.

"I'm supposed to be 'Xander', Joe. From Buffy?"

"That's what I said, Luke," Joey sniggered, throwing his arm companionably around Lance's shoulder and regarding their reflections in the mirror. He puffed out his chest and placed his free hand on one of his hips.

"How comes I have to go drinking with you losers?" Lance asked as he tugged awkwardly at his tight pants. "Some birthday this is gonna turn out to be."

"Oooh! Give him a leather jacket and he turns into Little Miss Hard!" Joey scoffed.

"Hey, I'm not the one wearing tights," Lance remarked as he playfully elbowed his friend in the ribs.

Joey quickly recovered from the blow and grinned at himself smugly in the mirror. "What can I say? These legs need to be seen." Despite his frustrations, Lance couldn't help but laugh. Joey certainly had the confidence, but not the body, to be Superman.

"Holy smoke, Batman," Justin said animatedly to Chris as he entered the room in a rush, his costume a dead ringer for the character 'Robin', even down to the matching mask and cape. "We'd better go if we wanna get there on time."

"Robin, to the Bat Mobile!" Chris ordered with a whoop of joy and the pair of them charged out of the room, both humming the Batman theme tune as they went.

"I have a feeling that the bat jokes are going to wear a bit thin before too long," JC muttered sarcastically as he entered the room, having caught the last few snippets of conversation. "There's a small chance that they may be taking their characters a little too seriously."

Joey snorted at JC as the rest of the group followed Chris and Justin out of the room. "Says the guy who would only wear a costume if it came with a gun."

JC smirked at his friend and shrugged. "What’s Han Solo without his gun?"

~~~~~*~~~~~

As JC parked his Jeep besides Clare's in the car lot behind the party venue, a puzzled expression crossed Lance's face. It was dark outside, but he knew the area well enough to know that they were in the wrong part of Orlando to where they should have been.

"Aren't we going to Planet Hollywood?" Lance asked with concern as he peered out of the window at what looked like a large warehouse style building. "'Cause this ain't it."

"Chill out, little man," Joey said as he unclipped his seatbelt and threw an arm across Lance's shoulder. He pointed to the building and in a voice that he knew Lance would find creepy said, "All will soon become clear…"

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby and Clare were keeping watch for the arrival of the guest of honour. They had arrived at the venue early to put together the final preparations for the party, and to greet guests who may have arrived early.

Although it wasn't much to look at from the outside, the warehouse—which was usually hired out as a rehearsal space for local bands—was massive inside, and relatively inexpensive to hire. Both of these reasons had convinced Clare that it was the right place to host the event.

Overall, organising the party had been a bit of a nightmare for both Clare and Libby. Clare had insisted that all the guys' families and close friends should be in attendance, if possible. Although Clare hadn't anticipated at the time what a headache that would be to coordinate. It had taken them both weeks to finalise the guest list, send out the invitations and wait for the RSVP's to arrive. Despite the odd polite refusal, the final head count had been encouraging and as Clare gave the room a final once over before Lance arrived, she was reassured to see so many people mingling and having a good time. Her and Libby's hard work had definitely paid off, and Clare was proud of what they had managed to achieve together for their friend.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"SURPRISE!" Everyone roared as the main doors opened and Lance walked in, completely oblivious to what was happening. The rest of the group trailed in behind him, their faces lit up with huge grins.

Lance's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in shock as he peered at all the faces beaming back at him. His expression was priceless, and Clare felt a shiver of satisfaction that she'd managed to pull off her first surprise party.

Diane Bass, Lance's mom, walked through the noisy crowd towards her son and put her arms around him, giving him a big squeeze. "Happy Birthday, my darling!" She said as she placed an affectionate kiss on his cheek.

"Happy Birthday, little brother," Lance's sister, Stacey, added as she joined her mother by his side. She also held out her arms to offer him a big birthday hug.

Lance was overcome with emotion and tried to discreetly blink away his tears as he glanced away from his family and searched the crowd for one person. Clare. Finding her, he pointed an accusing finger in her direction and laughed. "You! This had to be your doing!"

Clare shrugged modestly before breaking out into a crooked grin. She rushed towards him to offer her own birthday hug. "I was pressured," she chuckled into his ear, "but we all helped. Happy birthday, little Lance. We love you."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Lance was a good host, despite the fact that he'd had little chance to prepare. He spent a good part of the evening mingling and chatting with his guests so that by the time that he finally joined his friends, the evening was well under way.

"You would not believe how many times I've been told a Luke Perry joke," He chuckled good–naturedly as he sunk into an empty seat at the table where his friends were gathered and let out a weary sigh.

"Well, that's what happens when you come to a fancy dress party dressed as Luke Perry," Libby quipped with a giggle.

Lance narrowed his eyes at her and pretended to be offended. "I'll have to get you back for this, Clare," he said as he turned his head to glance at Clare.

"Hey!" Clare spluttered as she choked on a sip of her drink. "Your costume had nothing to do with me, Mister. You have Chris and Joey to thank for that one."

"What? They told me that you'd planned the costumes!" He broke eye contact with Clare to begin scanning the dance floor for signs of his friends. "Ooh... they will pay for this!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

After enjoying a few dances with her girlfriends, Clare went about discreetly gathering Libby, Jamie, Sara and Lisa for the special birthday surprise that they'd planned for Lance's party. They'd kept it a secret from the rest of their friends, with the sole exception of Jenny, who they'd included to help with the planning and preparations.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?" Jenny said loudly into a wireless microphone as she stood on the makeshift 'stage' where the DJ booth had been set up. As she spoke, the DJ reduced the volume of the dance track that he was playing so that Jenny's voice could be heard over the music.

Everyone in the building turned their attention towards her and the noise of conversation, which had previously filled the room, was lulled to a hush. Jenny felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment at the amount of people looking straight at her, but she took a deep breath and kept her eyes locked on Lance. She knew that if she kept her eyes fixed on him then she would be able to get through what she needed to do.

"It's my pleasure to announce that for one night only, we have a special birthday performance by the multi–talented group—No Sync!" Jenny threw an arm out behind her as the other girls slowly appeared through a cloud of dry ice dressed in identical spacesuits to the ones that the guys wore when performing.

As Jenny took a few steps towards the DJ booth and handed the microphone back to the DJ, she risked a glance back over at Lance. Despite the fact that the other girls were now seductively unzipping their space suits to reveal the same china doll outfits that the guys also wore on stage, Lance's eyes were still firmly fixed in her direction. Meeting his eyes, Jenny felt her heart jump up into her throat.

All the other members of *NSYNC were staring dumbfounded at the stage, their faces locked in similar expressions of awe and surprise.

Sara had placed a blonde wig over her own hair so that she resembled Lance. Lisa was also wearing a wig and had drawn a goatee over her chin and upper lip with brown eyeliner pencil to match Joey's beard. Jamie had painstakingly platted her long, dark hair to give it the appearance of dreadlocks, just like Chris wore. And Libby had had no trouble curling her short, blonde hair to match Justin's trademark curls. Only Clare had struggled with her impersonation, somehow having to find a way to make her long, dark hair appear as short as JC's. She'd applied handfuls to hair gel to it, but had ended up turning it into an impromptu quiff at the last minute. It wasn't as good a likeness as the other girls had managed to pull off, but Clare knew, as the opening notes of 'Tearin' Up My Heart' burst out over the speakers and the girls began to dance along to the music, that all of their hard work had been worthwhile.

They performed another two songs before they took a quick bow and disappeared 'backstage' to get changed back into their fancy dress costumes. They were exhausted but thrilled by the applause and the reaction of the crowd.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As the girls re–entered the party, they were greeted by loud applause and catcalls from the members of *NSYNC. The women headed straight over to their table feeling flattered by the attention but slightly overwhelmed at the same time.

"Honey, that was great!" Joey said as he sought out Lisa and gave her a kiss on the mouth.

"Thank you, baby," Lisa replied and flashed him a big grin.

"Those voices definitely need some coaching though!" Chris added playfully as he exchanged glances with Justin, who sniggered.

"We're not planning on doing it as a profession, Lucky," Jamie said sarcastically as she narrowed her eyes at Chris.

"Thank God for that!" Justin chuckled under his breath, just loud enough for the girls to hear.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to put you out of business, would we?" Clare retorted with a grin.

"I really don't think there'd be any danger of that happening. Not unless people start to enjoy listening to the sound of cats being strangled," Chris replied with a smirk.

"Well, I thought you were pretty good," Jenny said as grinned over at Clare receiving a smile for her efforts.

"Thank you, Jenny. At least some people have taste!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

At the end of the night once the majority of the guests had left, everyone began the unenviable task of cleaning up after the party. The only way that Clare would get her deposit money back was if the building was left in a similar state to the way that it had been found. It meant that as many pairs of hands were needed as possible or the clean–up would take all night. What was left of it, at least.

"Nope, not you," Clare said as she walked over to Lance and removed the half–filled bag of rubbish from his hands. She pointed in the direction of the exit. "You get to go home."

"Come on, Clare. You need my help here," Lance argued as he gestured around the room at all the chaos that was left after the celebration. There were streamers hanging from the ceiling that still needed taking down, not to mention the masses of balloons that needed collecting, popping and clearing away. The tables were crowded with empty glasses and bottles, and the floor was littered with small pieces of glitter paper and silly string that the guests had thrown at Lance as he'd blown out the candles on his birthday cake.

"You're the birthday boy, you’re not meant to be cleaning up after your own party. Now, please, go home."

Lance looked at Clare helplessly. "Let me help. Please. I don't want to leave all by myself knowing that you're all here clearing up after my party."

"Sorry to interrupt," Jenny said in a small voice as she overheard their conversation and figured that now was as good a time as any to butt in. "But if you're leaving, could I possibly share a cab with you? I missed the last bus awhile ago and don't fancy getting a cab by myself at this hour."

Lance turned to her with a relieved smile. "It would certainly be fine with me," he assured her.

Jenny turned to Clare, who was watching the exchange between them with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure that you don’t mind, Clare? Us leaving you with the clearing up, I mean."

"I'm sure we'll get on just fine without you two," Clare said with a smile as she glanced around the building at her other friends. She spotted Justin at the other end of the building standing close behind Libby's back, one of the many balloons that the girls had blown up and used for decoration held between his hands. Before Libby had a chance to notice his presence, Justin held the balloon close to her ear and popped it, causing Libby to scream in surprise and turn around to chase after him as he took off across the building. Clare shook her head and turned back to Lance and Jenny.

"Besides, I have my other slaves to help me," she quipped. "Now, you two, go and get out of here!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

It took around ten minutes for Lance and Jenny's cab to arrive, yet the pair of them decided to wait outside the building rather than inside. They lingered on the curb, their eyes sweeping the street for signs of their lift as they both awkwardly considered what to say next. It was Lance who was first to break the silence.

"So what subjects are you studying at college?" He asked shyly.

Jenny blushed but pushed through her embarrassment, relieved that he had been the first one to speak. "Computer studies," she told him. "I want to go into web design."

"Web design. That's interesting. Did Libby tell you that she runs the website for the group?"

"Yeah, she did," Jenny said with a smile and then realised that she'd run out of things to say. Lance, once again, took the lead.

"So what do you do with your free time when you're not studying?"

Jenny blushed once more, catching Lance's attention. He found her blushes completely charming. "Oh, I have a job at the college cafeteria. To help pay for my studies, you know. But other than that I like to read, go see movies..."

"Awesome, me too. Actually, funny you should mention that... we're planning to go sometime this week as a group. Would you be interesting in coming along?"

Jenny glanced at him, wide eyed. Is he really asking me to the movies? Lance from *NSYNC? "I... err..."

"I understand if you're busy. To be honest, the plans aren't completely finalised yet."

"What are you going to see?" Jenny asked him whilst telling herself that no matter what he said, she had to say yes.

"Dunno really. I guess it'll depend who comes along. Shall I get Libby to give you the details nearer the time?"

Jenny took a deep breath and forced herself to look him in the eye. "Or maybe we could swap numbers, and you could call me yourself?" Wow, that was brave, Jenny, she told herself as she nervously held her breath. If he didn't brush her off now then he was definitely interested in her.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds even better," Lance replied with a grin as he reached into his jacket pocket for his cell–phone. It turned out that his birthday wasn't such a wash out after all.

"Here's our cab," Jenny told him as she noticed the car drive past them a little way before stopping at the curb. Lance looked up from his phone where he was scrolling through his list of numbers to find his own. He'd never had much luck memorising his own cell–number.

Lance gestured for her to go ahead and they made their way over to the car side by side. I like this girl, he thought to himself as he held the door open for Jenny to slip in and slide across the leather seats to make room for him. He ducked into the cab and smiled at her as he pulled the door closed behind him. Yes, this is turning out to be a pretty awesome birthday.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Three days had passed since Lance's birthday party, and Libby was enjoying relaxing on her scheduled day off from work. She’d spent the day slumped in front of the television watching a Friends marathon on one of the cable comedy channels. Unlike Libby, Clare was scheduled to work, and she was surprised to return later in the day to find her friend in exactly the same position as she’d been when she left.

"'That is so not the opposite of taking someone's underwear!'" Libby chorused along with the television as Clare walked into the living room and slung her bag onto the coffee table. Hearing the dialogue of one of her favourite episodes of the show, Clare loudly joined in with the actors on screen causing Libby to grin at her over the arm of the couch.

"'Hi, I'm Chandler, could I be wearing any more clothes?'" Clare chorused as she dropped her keys alongside her bag and slipped off her coat. "Lib, have you even moved at all today?”

Libby opened her mouth to speak at exactly the same time that the sound of a flushing toilet could be heard from the main bathroom. Libby met her friend's eyes and grinned sheepishly as Clare turned her head towards the bathroom and then back at Libby with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I got up to let him in,” Libby explained with a giggle.

"Who is ‘him’?” Clare asked and then rolled her eyes as Justin walked into the room. "Yeah, that was a stupid question," she muttered. "I should’ve guessed!”

"I'm proving to Curly that I can watch all the episodes of Friends in one day," Libby explained through a giant yawn as Justin returned to his seat on the couch beside her.

"Hiya, Gid', you gonna join us or what?" Justin asked as he casually placed his arm on the back of the couch and glanced over at Clare. Clare hesitated before answering, debating with herself whether or not she should leave them in peace. After all, they still had some work to do on repairing their friendship after that infamous night at the club.

"I brought the competition files home with me to run through,” Clare answered reluctantly as an explanation of why she shouldn't join them.

"I can help you later,” Libby offered without removing her eyes from the television. "Come on, don't be a spoil sport!”

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC reached up and knocked loudly on Alyson's front door. It was the fifth time that he'd been to her house in as many days, only Alyson had been out on every occasion. He hoped that this time she'd be home so that he could properly discuss with her the newspaper article. He still didn’t want to believe that she'd spoken to the papers, despite what everyone around him was saying, and he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

He waited a while before knocking again.

"Hang on, I'm comin'!" He heard a young, female voice shout from inside the house and he lowered his hand to his side and waited. The door opened and a breathless young woman stood before him.

"Hi!" She said, recognizing him instantly and breaking into a genuine smile. "You looking for Ally?"

The young woman was Alyson's younger sister, Rachel. She was a petite girl, with long black hair and dark brown eyes. She was only sixteen, but dressed and looked a lot older than her years.

"Yeah, is she here?” JC asked, immediately feeling uncomfortable as he glanced past Rachel into the hallway, looking for signs of Alyson.

He hadn’t anticipated Rachel being at the house, having forgotten that Alyson had mentioned the fact that her sister was staying with her whilst her parents were on vacation. For the first time he wished that Alyson wasn’t home so that he wouldn't have to have what could be a very embarrassing and personal conversation within earshot of her little sister.

"She’s in the shower,” Rachel explained, taking a step to the side and gesturing for him to come in with a wave of her hand. "You can come in and wait for her, if you like.”

"Okay,” JC replied as he followed Rachel into the apartment and along a corridor that led to an open plan kitchen–dining area. At once Rachel set about making him a drink.

"So how you been doin'?" JC asked in an attempt to break what he considered to be an uncomfortable silence. Rachel opened the door of the American style fridge–freezer and pulled out a frosted glass jug containing orange juice. She nudged the door closed with her hip and smiled at him.

"Pretty good. I'm gettin' good grades in school and I've been dating the same guy for almost a year, so yeah. Things are going well, thanks."

Rachel liked JC. She’d spent quite a bit of time in his company when he and Alyson had dated in the past, and he'd always made a special effort to be nice to her. She’d been sad when he and her sister had parted ways, especially as she’d loved seeing the look on her friend's faces when she'd told them that her sister was dating a member of *NSYNC.

Rachel poured the orange juice into two tall glasses before sliding one of them across the kitchen island towards him. Whilst she returned the jug back to the fridge, JC took a polite sip of his drink. Not too long after, Alyson appeared in the doorway.

"Josh! What a lovely surprise,” Alyson said as she entered the room; rubbing a hand towel through her long, wet hair. She walked straight over to him and kissed him on the cheek. Although it shouldn't have, her closeness made him feel uncomfortable, and he fought back the urge to take a step back and create some space between them. JC cleared his throat and glanced briefly at Rachel, who was leaning against a counter watching their exchange with interest.

"I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Alyson continued, seemingly unaware of his discomfort.

"Err, yeah. I just thought I'd pop by," JC mumbled. "Actually, there was something I kinda needed to talk to you about."

If Alyson was surprised then she did a good job of hiding it.

"All right,” she answered, lowering the towel and fixing him with a curious look.

Sensing that the conversation was not intended for her ears, Rachel decided that it was best to leave the two of them alone. "I'll leave you to it," she said as she picked up her glass and made her way across the kitchen to offer JC brief hug. "It was nice to see you again, JC. Don’t be a stranger, okay?"

JC returned her hug half–heartedly, his eyes never leaving Alyson’s. He didn’t want to believe it but he thought that he could detect a hint of panic behind her dark eyes. Had he been wrong after all? Was she hiding something from him?

~~~~~*~~~~~

Once Justin had left to give the girls some time to work, Clare automatically began setting up the files that she had bought home with her across the living room floor. Libby, meanwhile, cleared away her Friends videos and turned on the CD player.

It was going to be a long night of sorting through the competition entries and the tedious job required as comfortable a work environment as possible. This meant that the girls had a very real need for background music. They'd both procrastinated long enough and now they were left with no option but to buckle down and get on with the job. However boring it might be.

So far, they were about a quarter of the way through reading the hundred or so applications that they'd received for the 'win a date' competition. Once they had sorted them into possible candidates, they had to choose from those applications the six winners, and the ten runners up who in turn would win tickets to see the group at the special live performance, which was to be featured on the Disney Channel later in the year.

With a sigh, Libby found a spare space on the carpet and stretched out her legs in front of her before picking up the first of many sheets of paper that were scattered around about her. She regarded the Polaroid photograph that was attached to the application and let out a huff.

"Anyone over the age of seventeen is out, right?” She asked as she glanced up at Clare, who was reading another of the entries.

"Agreed,” Clare said without looking up.

"How about people who look older than seventeen?” Libby asked as she squinted closer at the photograph.

"Lib,” Clare chided in a warning tone, "We need six winners. You can’t eliminate everyone.”

"Hmm... shame,” Libby mumbled as she placed the entry onto the 'reject' pile anyway and picked up another application.

"Of course, if they happened to be interested in Lance, Joey or Chris then I guess it would be okay.” Libby caught Clare's eye and giggled. Both girls had a mutual understanding that when it came to the fans with an interest in Justin or JC, then they could afford to be slightly more particular than they might otherwise be.

"Listen to this,” Libby said before reading aloud from the entry that she was holding. "I want a date with *NSYNC because I am in love with Justin, and if I don't meet him I'll just die!"

"In the 'bin' pile, me thinks."

During the next two hours the women managed to work their way down to twenty entries before Libby gave in to the pulsing ache in her legs and stood up. Immediately, the pain worsened, and she began to hop up and down on the spot as she tried to shake the pins and needles from her lower body.

"Man, this job can suck,” she complained as she grasped onto the back of the couch to help her get her balance.

"Mm–hmm," Clare said as she watched Libby's display of acrobatics with a smirk. "But then again, it's not all bad."

"Isn't it?” Libby asked as she turned to look at her friend.

"Well, we get to see Josh and Justin every day. That's gotta be an upside."

"Hmm, yeah, I guess. But I still think it'd be easier if we didn't have feelings for them,” Libby replied honestly. "I'm sure sooner or later I'm gonna slip up. I don't know how much longer I can pretend not to have feelings for him."

"Biting his head off all the time must get pretty tiresome,” Clare sniggered, thinking back to the many occasions that Libby had used her quick temper to cover her feelings for Justin. "I mean, I know that he’s annoying and all but how do you keep it up? Especially after the pair of you shared that kiss!”

"Hey! We promised never to talk about that again! Besides, it wasn’t that great..."

"What! You didn't shut up about it for weeks! Even when you were pretending to everyone else that it had never happened."

+ + +

It had been the same night that Justin had turned up unexpectedly at her door to watch a movie.

They’d both lingered in the doorway, having already said good-night several times, but neither of them had made any moves to bring the evening to a close. Libby had been searching her brain to think of something to say that wasn’t either stupid or pointless when Justin had taken a step towards her. He'd reached out an arm towards her—almost as though he were about to stroke her face—but his hand had frozen about a centimetre away.

Libby had stared up at him, startled but also exhilarated by the sudden change in mood as the atmosphere had crackled around them. She’d opened her mouth to speak—even though her mind had remained completely blank—but before she’d been able to form any words to say, Justin’s mouth had found hers and he’d kissed her so tentatively that Libby had hardly been sure that they'd touched at all.

Afterwards, Justin had at once started apologising and muttering that he’d ‘gotten carried away’, but suddenly having become overwhelmed with confidence, Libby had reached forward and grabbed the collar of Justin’s Tshirt, yanking him forward so that their lips met once again. The kiss had lasted longer this time, and somehow Libby had even managed to find herself tangled up in his arms, all before the phone began to ring, disturbing them both. Realising that the phone call could have been Clare calling to check up on her, Libby had left Justin at the door, assuming that he would still be there waiting for her when she returned.

He hadn’t been. Both himself and his car had long gone.

Justin’s awkwardness around her the next day had told Libby all that she’d needed to know, and since then she hadn’t discussed the kiss with anyone but Clare. However, it hadn't stopped her thinking about it.

+ + +

"When I think of JC with his ex it makes me feel like doing things I've only seen in horror movies," Clare grumbled as the *NSYNC debut album began its second turn on repeat.

'Oh baby I don't understand / Just why we can't be lovers / Things are getting out of hand / Tryin' too much but baby we can win / Let it go / If you want me girl let me know / I am down on my knees / I can't take it anymore.

 

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you / But when we are apart I feel it too / And no matter what I do / I feel the pain / With or without you...'

 

Clare and Libby shared a goofy grin as they listened to the words of the song and began to sing along—at first in mocking tones and then in outright karaoke style singing. They fell about with laughter a few words into the second verse.

"Do you think we'll ever get to tell them how we feel?" Libby asked Clare as she leaned against the back of the couch. Clare got to her feet and offered her friend a simple shrug.

"Who knows," Clare said. "Maybe in time they’ll work it out for themselves.” Libby sniggered at the thought. "Can you imagine sounding off at them one day and then ending it with an ‘I love you’?”

"Eurgh, that’d be awful," Libby said with a grimace. "Especially if it were in front of everybody."

"It'd be funny though."

"It would be amusing to see their faces," Libby agreed as she imagined how Justin would react if he discovered her true feelings for him. "I’d have to stop biting his head off," she added as an afterthought.

"Could you?” Clare asked only half seriously causing both women to break into giggles once more.

"You know what? I'm really not sure!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Working hard?” Justin called loudly as he entered the girl's apartment unannounced an hour or so later, closely followed by JC. Libby’s head snapped around at the familiar sound of Justin's voice and she shot Clare a warning glance, her cheeks flushing scarlet at the memory of what the men might have overhead had they arrived earlier.

"Doorbell!” Clare chided as both men entered the living with beaming grins on their faces. She shot Justin a withering glance which caused him to laugh and shrug an apology.

"It was open!” He explained in an innocent voice before turning to JC for backup. "Right?"

"Well, the deadbolt wasn't on...” JC clarified with a sheepish glance at Clare’s annoyed face. JC knew better than to try to pretend that they hadn't used the spare key to open the front door. Clare made a mental note to herself to hide where she kept the key.

"That is not the same thing as an invitation,” she continued to scold Justin as she glanced away from JC's face. Since the 'Alyson situation' she'd found it hard to maintain eye contact with him for more than a few seconds. She knew that she really had no reason to be upset with him, but she couldn't deny that it'd hurt her to discover that he'd been sleeping with someone else.

Libby quickly rushed across the room to turn off the stereo before the *NSYNC album began to play again. "What did you say you were doing here?” She asked Justin as she  shoved the album case under a nearby pile of magazines, hoping that her question would be enough to distract him from noticing what her hands were doing.

"We didn’t,” Justin replied as he playfully poked his tongue out at her.

"Actually—" JC continued as he glared over at his friend, "we figured that you wouldn’t have eaten so we brought over some food. We guessed that you’d be hungry.” He pulled a large, brown paper bag out from behind his back and flashed them both a triumphant grin. "Did we do well?"

"Yummy!” Libby exclaimed as she rushed over to peep into the bag before disappearing off into the kitchen in search of plates and cutlery.

"Let me guess, Lynn made you bring it over?” Clare said with a fond smile.

"You know my mom,” Justin replied as he followed Libby's departure with his eyes. "She always cooks for fifty thousand.”

"Do you need any help with that?” JC asked Clare as he pointed at the sheets of paper that littered most of the living room carpet. Despite appearances the women had nearly finished their work, and the piles of paperwork were actually meticulously organised.

"Thanks, but we’ve nearly finished. It’s just choosing the runners up now. You could help with that, if you like?”

"Sure,” JC said as he dropped to the floor and picked up one of the applications from the pile marked 'runners up'. Justin made his way over and made himself comfortable on the couch in the seat nearest to JC.

"It would be funny to see some of the reasons our fans want to meet us!” Justin said as he glanced up to meet Clare's eyes.

"Funny is not the word, believe me!” Libby told him as she re–entered the room, balancing four plates, glasses and sets of cutlery in both of her arms. She plonked it all down onto the coffee table in front of them and rolled her eyes at Justin. "Scary is the word you're looking for."

"Really?" He asked her as the smile slowly disappeared from his face.

"Oh, yeah."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Lance sat alone in the movie theatre wishing that he'd managed to convince at least one of his friends to accompany him. After finding out that there was nothing showing that anyone else in the group had wanted to see, he’d ended up going to the movies alone. Now as he sat in the darkened room slurping soda through a plastic straw, Lance wished that he had someone to talk to.

He hadn't worked up the courage to call Jenny. His courage had deserted him at the crucial moment. Had the cinema trip been a group outing, he'd have had no trouble inviting her along, but since it'd turned out that it would have just been the two of them he'd lost his nerve. He didn't want her thinking that he'd tricked her into a date.

As he sat brooding over the trailers, a familiar voice caught his attention, and Lance turned his head to find Jenny standing in the aisle beside his chair, a look of surprise on her face.

"Hi!" She said brightly. "What are you doing here all alone?" Immediately Lance felt his palms begin to sweat, and he ran his palms over the knees of his jeans to dry them. Her unexpected appearance had taken him by surprise and he felt himself clamming up with nerves.

"Err... well, no one else was really up for it and I really wanted to this movie, so..."

"You came alone?" Jenny asked, the skin around her eyes crinkling in amusement.

"Err... yeah," Lance replied awkwardly. For the first time he noticed that she was alone, too. "Are you here on your own?"

"Yeah. Like you my friends bailed. There's no accounting for taste, is there?" Jenny laughed good–naturedly and gave him a small shrug. Lance beamed. He couldn't fight his amusement at the irony of them turning up at the same showing of the same film.

"We could sit together, if you like?" Lance asked her hopefully as he gestured at the empty seat beside him.

"Yeah, thanks," Jenny said shyly. "I'd like that."

~~~~~*~~~~~

When the movie was over, Lance politely offered Jenny a ride back to campus in his black Toyota 4Runner. For once in her life, Jenny didn't feel any hesitation in accepting. Lance even held the passenger door open for her as they reached the car which made Jenny grin. His chivalrous behaviour and the way he was being so attentive to her made her stomach flutter with butterflies. The more time she spent with him, the more she liked him. Even without Libby's encouraging texts—of which she'd sent several—trying to sell her on him.

As Lance hopped into the driver's seat and turned on the ignition, he flicked the button on the in–car stereo filling the car with the sounds of the local radio station Magic 107.7 FM. Almost immediately, Britney Spears' newest track 'Baby One More Time' began to play.

"She's really talented, isn't she," Jenny said as she began to hum along to the music. Lance gave her a sideways look and smiled.

"Yeah, she's pretty great. We spent some time on tour with her a while back. She's a lot of fun."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot that you'd know her. Silly of me," Jenny said as she turned her eyes away from the road ahead to glance at him. "So, you went on tour with Britney? That must have been really fun!"

"Yeah," Lance said, grinning at the memory. "We had a blast. We'd get up to the dumbest things. One time we were playin' hacky before a show and Chris lost his balance, but instead of letting the hacky fall, he stretched out to catch it and fell backwards straight onto Britney. He pretty much crushed her. Needless to say she wasn't impressed!" As she pictured the scene that Lance painted in her head, Jenny began to laugh. "She handled it really well, fortunately. Not many girls could handle being around us twenty–four–seven whilst on tour. But Britney really fits in, you know?"

"One of the guys?" Jenny asked him with a raised eyebrow causing Lance to throw his head back and laugh.

"Something like that," he admitted with a twinkle in his eye.

"So what have you got planned for tomorrow?" Jenny asked him meekly, hoping that the question wasn't too pushy. She wanted him to know that she was interested in him, but as she was such a shy person, she struggled to make her intentions clear. She tried to use humour to lighten the atmosphere just in case it turned out that he wasn't interested in her in the way that she hoped. "Official *NSYNC business?"

Lance grinned. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. We've got interviews first thing in the morning. Then a meeting at the Compound to discuss the tour. After that, more dance rehearsals and then a meeting with our management to discuss a possible new album." Lance's answer threw Jenny completely off guard. All of that in one day? She wondered how he found time for anything other than *NSYNC. Would he have time for a relationship? Presuming that he liked someone enough to want to be in one...

Lance turned his head and met Jenny's eyes, noting the surprised expression on her face. "Sounds like a lot, huh?" He chuckled.

Jenny nodded. "Yeah, it does. When do you have time for—"

"A life of my own?" Lance interrupted, knowing where the conversation was heading. He'd learnt to anticipate the question over the years. He'd been asked it enough.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Don't worry, I make time for me, too. Which brings me to my next question... Would you like to do this again, sometime?"

Jenny blushed. She hadn't been anticipating that, but she was thrilled that he'd asked. "Err... yeah. I would," she said.

"Great. Then consider it a date."

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Right, so the next item on the agenda is the fan competition," Clare said as she addressed each member of the group in turn during the weekly meeting in the boardroom. "Me and Libby have picked out the six winners—"

"Finally," Libby interrupted before letting out a loud yawn that seemed to take her by surprise. She clapped a hand over her mouth to disguise it but it was too late. Lance and JC grinned at her.

"How old are they and what are their names?" Chris asked as he leaned forward and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Clare. The other men in the room burst out laughing at the eagerness in his voice.

Clare narrowed her eyes. "They are all under the age of eighteen," she told him. "Still interested in learning their names?" Chris slouched back into his seat and shook his head, his expression glum. No, was the answer.

Libby lifted the piece of paper in her hand and began to read aloud, continuing from where Clare had left off. "They are Sharice from New York, Kate from Hawaii, Elise from Missouri, Amanda from California, Chrystal from Utah and Rachel from Orlando.”

"You'll meet them at a restaurant downtown,” Clare said, “Where we’ve booked a private room. You’ll spend an hour doing a meet and greet and then there will be an opportunity for the girls to take photos and get autographs. We'll provide the merchandise—as usual—unless the girls bring something particular that they want signed—”

"But no signing body parts!” Libby interrupted and then blushed as the five men turned to her with wide eyes. Fighting her embarrassment, Libby glanced at Clare for help. "It's not allowed... right?"

"Yeah..." Clare continued, eyeing Libby dubiously as she took over, "If any of the girls ask you to sign anything other than merchandise, please say no." She shook her head several times to clear the horrifying thought from her mind. "Anyway, after the allocated time you’ll say goodbye. Then the girls will remain at the restaurant to eat before being taken back to their hotel for an overnight stay.” Clare regarded the sheet of paper that she’d just read from and let out a defeated sigh. "It sure doesn’t sound a lot for the hours of work that we've put into it, but it should make for some pretty happy fans.”

"Are you coming with us?” JC asked abruptly, surprising Clare with his question.

"Err, no. Why would you think that?” Clare asked him as a perplexed frown crossed her face. She glanced at Libby for backup.

"Isn’t that a part of your job?” JC asked her.

"No. Fan hysteria is not part of my job. Providing you with fan hysteria is. No one said anything about me having to be there to witness it.”

"Surely we’re not going alone?” Justin asked in concern. He looked from Clare to Libby and finally glanced over his shoulder at Jamie, who shared Clare's no–nonsense attitude. If he couldn't get his own way with Clare, he usually resorted to Jamie.

"Of course not,” Jamie told him with a roll of her eyes, "your security team will be with you. There’s no reason to be afraid, Justin, they’re only girls,” Jamie said with a snigger, causing both Clare and Libby to burst out laughing. Justin's cheeks began to flame with embarrassment at the sound of their laughter.

"It doesn’t matter their age,” Libby told Jamie matter–of–factly. "He’s terrified of anything female.” Libby met Clare's eyes and the pair of them burst into guffaws of laughter once again. Justin—who was seated beside Libby—, turned his head to fix her with a scowl.

"Hey!” He said, feeling the need to defend himself. "You don’t know what these girls are capable of!”

"Neither do you!” Libby said as she grinned at him, her eyes bright with humour. Justin watched her laugh at him for a few more minutes before slowly reaching his outstretched hand towards her from under the table as a mischievous smirk crossed his face. Libby spotted his hand before it could get too far and forcefully pushed it back in his direction. "Timberlake! Don't you—"

"Dare?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow. Libby narrowed her eyes playfully. She knew better than to challenge him to a dare. Whatever it was it would be as good as done. In their past games of truth or dare, Justin had nearly always taken the dare.

"Don't. Or I'll… I'll…"

"You'll what?"

"I dunno, but I'll think of something. Let's just say you'll be sorry," Libby threatened.

"Ooh, is tha—"

"Now, now, children," Jamie interrupted fixing Libby and Justin with a stern look. The pair glanced at each other and grinned. "We’re kinda in the middle of a meeting here.”

"Like I was saying,” Clare continued as she, too, shot an accusing look at Libby and Justin. "All the arrangements have been made. We're alerting the winners today so all you guys need to do is turn up at the restaurant on time and the rest will be taken care of.”

There was a pause and then Lance said, "Are the girls coming alone or do they have a chaperone?”

"The youngest will be travelling with their parents, but apparently there isn't room in the private room for too many people. It is quite a small venue," Clare said regrettably.

"Considering that these girls are young don’t you think a female chaperone or two would be a good idea?” JC asked her, following on from Lance’s question. "I’m thinking moral support for these girls. They're bound to be excited and emotional. It might help to calm their nerves if they have an older female presence around them.”

Clare stared straight at JC, her jaw tightening in irritation. He smiled innocently back, knowing full well that he was successfully pushing her buttons. Clare hated spending more time around the group's fans than was strictly necessary, which was ironic, considering that she was the head of the fan club.

Jamie considered JC's words for a moment and turned to look at Clare. "He does have a point, Clare," she said.

"He always has a point," Clare remarked dryly.

"I suppose we could make an appearance at the beginning and then disappear during the meet and greet?”

"Hmm.., what do you think, Lib?”

"I guess,” Libby replied unenthusiastically. "I suppose it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to be there at the beginning to make sure that everyone arrives safely.”

"Ha ha!” Justin chuckled, nudging her in the ribs. "You lose!”

Libby turned and flashed him a withering glare. Secretly, she was slightly relieved that they would be around during the initial meet and greet. Although both she and Clare had done a careful job of choosing the winners, Libby was still apprehensive about the men being left alone with the young fans. Libby had witnessed enough *NSYNC fan hysteria to know that it could get a bit crazy, and she never liked the idea of any fan getting up close and person with Justin, no matter what their age.

"Spending time in a small room with six love–sick teenage girls?" Libby said to him with a snort of amusement. "No, I think it's actually you who loses.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Have you spoken to your ex yet?" Clare asked JC in as casual a voice as she could muster as they made their way out of the boardroom together after the meeting. Clare was headed back to her office, whilst JC had plans to hit the gym.

"Yeah, I actually went 'round to see her yesterday," he replied in a guarded voice. JC didn't like talking to Clare about Alyson, especially after the way she'd handled finding out about the pair of them.

"Oh, right," Clare said, glancing sideways at him to try to read his expression. "And what did she say?"

"That she didn't go to the papers," he replied refusing to meet her eyes. He'd convinced himself that he had no reason to doubt Alyson's word, and therefore as far as he was concerned the subject was closed.

"Right!" Clare snorted as she let out a bitter laugh. "And I suppose it was a coincidence that her story ended up in the papers!”

JC glanced at her with narrowed eyes but said nothing. Clare interpreted his silence and felt her eyes bug out of her head in shock. "Please don't tell me that you actually believe her?"

"Come on, Clare. Don’t act like you know her," JC said. "I have no reason to doubt her word."

"And you're basing this on what? The girl you once knew?"

"As far as I can tell she hasn't changed," he said, his words cutting Clare to the core. She tried her best to retain her composure as her mind swam with the implications of his statement.

"So she had no idea how the story ended up in the papers?” Clare pressed him in what she hoped was a less judgemental tone.

"Apparently her sister had a friend over who might have overheard their conversation. It was completely innocent and out of her control."

Clare smirked. She wasn't so easily convinced. "And you’re fine with her sharing all of the gory details of your hook up with her sister, are you?" Clare didn't wait for his reply.  "I'm sorry, Josh, but that’s weird. I might not have a natural sister, but me and Libby are as close as and we certainly don't share that kind of information.

"Yeah, well, that’s you and Libby," JC snapped back in irritation. "You can’t judge other people by what you do or don’t do,"

Clare had already had enough of hearing him sing Alyson's praises. As far as she was concerned, the woman was as guilty as sin. "Well, congratulations. She sounds lovely," Clare quipped back sarcastically, her own temper rising along with his. "You know, it really makes me wonder why you two broke up in the first place. You're so clearly meant to be together!"

Reaching her office, Clare opened the door and strode in without giving JC a chance to reply. She turned on her heel and shut the door in his face.

~~~~~*~~~~~

The week since Clare had notified the winners of the competition had flown by and before she knew it the day had arrived for the meet and greet. Clare had had the foresight to book another table at the restaurant, away from the private area where the meet and greet would take place, where she and her female friends could order some food to pass the time. Despite her initial plans, Clare had been persuaded to remain at the restaurant until the end of the event so that the group could hang out together afterwards.

Clare was full of apprehension as the hours passed and the event grew nearer. Since her argument with JC she hadn’t spent much time in his company, and she regretted not smoothing things over with him before she had to face him again in such a public place. She hoped that the event would go smoothly and the fans would be well behaved, and although they were bound to be excited, would not get too out of hand.

After she'd made a final draft of the monthly newsletter and given it to a trainee to photocopy for her, Clare joined Libby, Lisa and Jamie down at the choreography room, where Sara was taking the guys through the new routines for 'Here We Go' and 'I Need Love'.

"So is everything ready for tonight?" Sara asked the group as the music faded out and she made her way across the room to sit on the floor where the other girls had gathered.
"As ready as we can be," Justin replied nervously from across the room as he took a swig from his bottle of water. He was tired from the rehearsal but he knew that by the time he’d had a shower and a bite to eat he’d be pumped and ready to meet some of his fans.

"I can’t say I’m looking forward to the screaming and wailing and crying,” Libby said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at Clare.

"Be grateful you don’t have to put up with it for months on end like I do," Jamie said with a weary shake of her head. "The tours are brutal, believe me.”

"I think it’d be good for them to come on tour with us,” Chris added with a snigger as he watched Jamie’s face react to the memories of the past tours. "They could become part of our adoring entourage.”

"Pah!” Jamie spat out sarcastically. "Adoring?”

"Just because we have to work with you doesn’t mean that we adore you, sorry to say,” Libby told him with a snigger. She pulled the hairband out from her pony tail, aimed her finger back like a slingshot and fired it at his head.

Chris laughed, caught the band as it bounced off of his shoulder and pelted it straight back at her.

"You listen to our music,” JC added with a laugh of his own. "You’re pretty much there on the adoring fan front.”

Libby stared at him, her mouth open in horror. "Listen to your music? As if!”

"Come on, Lib. I’ve heard you both in your offices. Listening when you think we’ve all gone. I've even heard you sing along on occasions.”

"Oh, God. You wouldn't forget that in a hurry!" Justin sniggered as he covered his mouth with his hand and mouthed to Chris, 'she can't sing'.

"As if!” Libby repeated, her cheeks beginning to flush scarlet with humiliation. "Besides, if you have heard me listening to it, it's only because it's the only CD in the player and I can't be bothered to change it!"

"Hmmm..." Justin said with a grin, eyeing her suspiciously. "What about the other night when we came over?”

Libby turned to face him, silently willing her cheeks to return to a normal colour. She could feel the heat that they were radiating, and it only caused her further embarrassment. "What about it?” She challenged, folding her arms across her chest.

"Do you mean the night you broke into our apartment?" Clare asked him sarcastically, trying to draw the attention away from her friend. She knew how easy it was for Libby to crack under pressure.

"Come on, Lib. Just admit that you like our music,” Lance told Libby as he flashed her a wink.

"We don’t dislike your music,” Clare said, jumping to her friends rescue. "The lyrics certainly leave a lot to be desired. Plus it’s no Hanson.”

Lance’s jaw hit the floor at her words, bringing an amused grin to Clare’s face. "Really?" She asked him with a laugh, "You think ‘Giddy, Giddy up’ is going to win you a Grammy?”

"Please don't tell me you like Hanson..." Justin said with a genuine look of despair on his face. All eyes rested on him as the group waited for the meaning behind Clare's words to sink into his brain. After a few seconds his eyes widened as her joke finally dawned on him.

"There it is," Libby said with a chuckle as she watched the expression change on his face.

"Y'all are just too embarrassed to admit that you can’t do without us,” Joey said dismissively with a wave of his hand. "It’s okay girls, we know you love us. The words aren’t necessary.”

"Oh no! My secret is out!" Clare quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes at his comment. "There’s something about that palm tree on top of his head,” she gestured at Chris, "The curly monster, pretty boy, Luke Perry wannabe and your ridiculous obsession with Superman that just really gets my motor running.” She clutched her hands to her chest and squealed with sarcastic delight. "How will I ever choose?”

"In your dreams, maybe.”

"In whose dreams?” Justin chuckled, raising an eyebrow at Clare. "Certainly not mine. I like my women to have a sensitive side and to offer the occasional smile.”

"I smile!" Clare replied defensively.

Libby grinned at her friend and said, thoughtlessly, "Yeah, when you’re in lost in thoughts of—” Clare turned to her and shot her a warning glance causing Libby to snap her mouth shut immediately, her eyes wide at the realisation of how close she'd come to outing her friend in front of the group.

Sensing some kind of awkward tension between the two women, Lance quickly changed the subject before someone began to interrogate Libby about the meaning behind her words. "I’ve invited Jen along tonight," he said to Clare. "I hope that’s okay.”

"Lisa’s coming too, Joey added. "We’ve arranged to do something together after.”

"I thought we had plans as a group?” JC asked, glancing between his band mates and the girls.

"Well, not officially. Just if people wanted to," Jamie said.

Clare flashed Lance a smile, realising that she hadn't yet answered his question. ”That’s great," she said, "It’ll be nice to see Jenny again. Us girls might be able to have some intelligent, adult conversation with you lot busy elsewhere.”

"Adult, maybe,” Joey sniggered.

"Shut it, Fatone!” Libby said as she pointed her finger accusingly at his head.

"Well, I don’t know about you lot but I’m going to head home to get ready," Clare said as she got to her feet and reached her arms out to help Libby up too.

"We'll meet y'all at the restaurant later.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

By the time six o’clock rolled by everyone had arrived at the restaurant downtown. The members of the group had arrived much earlier to give themselves a chance to settle into the private room before the fans arrived. Jenny, Sara and Lisa had gone ahead to fetch drinks for the rest of the women as the restaurant was buzzing with people and the bar already had a hefty queue in front of it. Jamie, Libby and Clare had remained outside the building to await the fans' arrival.

"Here we go,” Clare muttered to Jamie as she noticed two taxi cabs pull into vacant spaces outside of the restaurant before coming to a stop and releasing their occupants onto the sidewalk. The nervous fans gathered into a group, giggling and bouncing around with excitement. As they made eye contact with the group for the first time, Clare, Libby and Jamie approached with welcoming, encouraging smiles.

"Hi girls,” Clare greeted them with more enthusiasm than she really felt. "I’m Clare. I run the *NSYNC fan club with my friend, Libby," she held out her arm towards Libby, introducing her to the young girls. Libby smiled and gave the girls a friendly wave as they regarded her with curious eyes. "And Jamie here is *NSYNC’s assistant tour manager,” Clare continued, turning to Jamie who gave the girls a slightly more wary but still welcoming smile.

"Are you girls excited to meet *NSYNC?” Libby asked them cheerfully as she scanned their faces. For the first time in a long time she was reminded of herself at their age and she felt a sudden pull of affinity to these young women. The fans cheered enthusiastically and Libby shared a meaningful glance with Clare. The fans seemed a lot more contained than the pair of them had been expecting, much to their relief. She only hoped that things wouldn't change when they met the guys.

"Well, if you’re ready girls, shall we go and meet *NSYNC?” Jamie asked. She held out her arm to gesture for the fans to take the lead and she, Clare and Libby followed behind.

As they entered the private room the atmosphere suddenly became electric as the fans came face to face with their idols. A smirk visible on her face, Libby glanced over at the table where the men were sitting and met Justin's eyes. He grinned at her and gave her a quick wink. Each of the fans was invited to approach each member of the group in turn to receive a hug and introduce themselves. Things began well until one of the fans broke away from the line and went straight towards JC, instead of Lance, who was awaiting her introduction.

"How y’all been?” The girl asked the group confidently before holding her arms out to JC, who hugged her awkwardly, his eyes locked on Clare's.

"Hi, Rachel," he mumbled, offering her a hesitant smile. Clare turned to glance at Libby with a frown, but Libby could only shake her head in reply. She didn't know what was going on either.

"Hello Rachel,” Chris said as he reached across to offer her a high five. Rachel beamed back at him in delight. "You’re Alyson’s sister, Rachel, right?” He asked by way of explaining to Clare why he was treating her so differently from the other fans. Libby turned back to Clare with a concerned look on her face. How could they have been so blind as to let this happen? Libby tried her best to read Clare’s face, but it remained expressionless.

Taking the lead, Jamie suggested that the fans find a seat around the table and begin asking any questions they have prepared for the group. Seeing an opportunity to distance herself, Libby nudged Clare with her elbow and the pair of them subtly took a few steps towards the back of the room. Once out of earshot, Libby leaned over and whispered in her friend’s ear. "Did you know?”

Clare turned to her and shook her head. "I had no idea. Not that it matters really,” she whispered back.

"But look at her!” Libby reasoned, glancing at Rachel as she leaned across the table to slap Justin playfully on the arm as he cracked one of his classic jokes. "She’s acting like… like...”

"One of us.” Clare finished for her, her eyes never leaving Rachel’s face.

"Yeah,” Libby agreed weakly, watching the group lap up the attention they were getting from the six girls. She began to wonder if that was how she appeared when she was around the group.

"Perhaps now is a good time to slip away?” Clare whispered, already taking a step towards the exit.

Libby glanced back at Justin as he gave one of the fans a flirty, crooked smile. She felt her stomach drop. "Yeah, I think you're right."

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Libby and Clare prepared to make their departure one of the fans, Sharice, smiled sweetly at Justin and asked, "When are you going to the UK?"

It was obvious from her body language that Justin was her favourite member of *NSYNC, and the extra attention that she was giving him wasn’t lost on him. She was a beautiful green–eyed knockout, but she was also only fourteen and so he was being extra careful not to encourage her too much.

"Our tour has recently been pushed back a few weeks so we are now due to leave at the beginning of August,” Justin answered her with a friendly smile before breaking eye contact and looking for one of his band mates to step in.

"And how long will you be gone for?” Another girl, Kate, asked Justin but Chris was quick to step in and answer. "We'll be back in the States in October," he said.

It was an unspoken rule amongst the members of the group to share any questions they were asked between the five of them to prevent one person from monopolising the conversation. In the years since they'd been together, and the thousands of interviews that they'd done they'd gotten it pretty much down to an art.

There was a short silence as the fans considered which other questions to ask.

"I read somewhere that you have a new album out soon. Is that true?” The quietest of the girls asked. Her name was Amanda, and she was a blue–eyed blonde from California.

"We're in discussions with our label about bringing out a new album, but nothing has been decided yet, I'm afraid. Y'all have to be a bit patient with us," JC answered as he glanced around at the other guys, gauging their reaction to his answer. They all nodded back in agreement.

As he turned back to smile at Amanda, JC noticed that Rachel was giving him a knowing grin that made him feel uncomfortable. Once again he glanced over at Clare, but she was refusing to meet his eyes.

Clare, who had decided to hang around a few more minutes just to check that the question and answer session didn’t get off to an awkward start, had also noticed Rachel’s behaviour. But, she was distracted by trying to remember what Rachel’s sister looked like.

"Do any of y'all have girlfriends?” Elise from Missouri asked, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear as she spoke. There was a general chuckle from the girls around the table and the members of *NSYNC exchanged amused smirks. They'd been expecting the girlfriend question to turn up at some point in the evening.

"Oohh, the burning question,” Libby whispered to Jamie, who had recently joined them at the back of the room. Jamie turned to meet her eyes and smirked as she rolled her eyes. The group had another agreement amongst themselves that when the 'girlfriend' question arose, only those who felt comfortable sharing their personal information would speak. Otherwise, the group would give a general but vague answer.

"I have a girlfriend," Joey said with a grin. "We’ve been together for a while and I’m very happy,” he beamed at the six girls who all happily returned his smile. Joey had no problem discussing his personal life with fans. He was well aware that out of the five of them, he wasn't likely to break many hearts by confessing that he was in a long–term relationship. Speaking on behalf of the other members of the group, who weren’t so willing to answer, Justin once again took the lead.

"The rest of us are single. I mean, we do go on dates and everything, and we're open to meeting people, but we don’t have anyone special in our lives right now.”

"But is there anyone that you might imagine becoming special in your lives?” Rachel probed, leaning forward slightly and smirking specifically at JC. JC turned to glance at Justin, who raised his eyebrows in return. He too was taken aback by the boldness of the young girl.

"Maybe,” Chris answered, surprising Jamie, Libby and Clare who had been watching intently for JC’s reaction and hadn’t expected Chris to answer. Clare glanced at Jamie when she noticed that Chris was looking directly at her friend and a mischievous smile crossed her lips. Jamie, she thought to herself as she remembered back to the moment in her office when Chris had been trying to ask her if he should ask someone out. Of course he'd been talking about Jamie.

Buoyed by Chris’ admission, Justin found the courage to answer more honestly than he might have otherwise. "Err... yeah. I know someone I would like to maybe get serious with... but... I dunno,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Maybe the timing is just off at the moment. Who knows?”

There was a short silence, and all eyes fell on JC. After a moment’s silence his face softened, and he gave Rachel a crooked smile. She had him cornered. "Yeah, perhaps there's someone who might soon be my girlfriend.” Rachel leaned back into her seat with a smug grin on her face. Both her and Clare shared exactly the same thought—Alyson.

"Let’s go get that drink,” Jamie whispered to Clare, who turned to her and nodded enthusiastically in return.

"Well, guys, we’re going to leave you to it,” Jamie announced loudly to the room, and she was sure that she could see the young girls smiles broaden at her words.

"Have a good time, everyone,” Libby and Clare chorused as they followed Jamie out of the door without a backwards glance. Get me that drink, Clare thought to herself as the memory of the last few minutes replayed over and over in her mind. 'Yeah, perhaps there's someone who might soon be my girlfriend...'

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare, Libby and Jamie made their way across the restaurant towards the table where Lisa, Sara and Jenny were seated waiting for them. Clare was grateful that Lisa had their drinks ready, and she took a large gulp of her vodka and coke before slumping into one of the free chairs.

"That bad, huh?” Lisa asked her with a chuckle.

"You’re okay,” Libby replied as she took her own seat and smiled at Lisa. "Your man is more than happy to declare his feelings for you.”

Lisa smiled proudly and took a sip of her drink. At the same time, Jamie announced that she was going to find the ladies room and Clare quickly stood up to go with her. Once they were out of earshot, Sara, Lisa and Jenny asked Libby what had caused Clare to become so upset. Hoping that she'd have time to explain before her friend returned, Libby leaned forward in her chair and ran through the meet and greet in a hushed voice.

"So who is this Rachel kid?” Sara asked at the end of Libby’s explanation. 

"She’s Alyson’s sister,” Libby answered her.

"Which would help if we knew who Alyson was,” Lisa replied sarcastically.

"Alyson is JC’s ex. The one who made it into the papers,” Libby said, raising an eyebrow and looking pointedly at Lisa. None of the women believed that the story could've ended up in the papers without someone having tipped off a journalist. 

Lisa pulled a face and began to twirl her glass around in her hand so that the ice cubes clunked together. "Oh," she said, glumly.

"But, of course, she didn’t speak to the papers,” Clare said as she re–joined her friends at the table. Lisa smiled up at her sympathetically.

There were a few moments of silence as the girls perused the restaurant menus before a waiter joined them to take their order. Once they were alone, conversation struck up again.

"So does anyone know who our Chris has a thing for?” Libby asked with a chuckle as she met Clare's eyes across the table and smirked. Like Clare, she, too, had suspicions that it was Jamie that Chris was interested in.

"What!” Sara gasped as she heard the news for the first time. She spent so much time around the men of the group that she missed out on lots of girl–talk. A lot of the things that the women discussed took her completely by surprise.

"I think it’s our Jamie,” Clare said, flashing a smile at the accused.

"Yeah right,” Jamie replied sarcastically. "I’m sure if he had a thing for anyone it would be me. I mean, I am obviously the most likely candidate. What man wouldn’t be interested in me? I’m such a catch! Look at me, I am a workaholic, I have absolutely no spare time outside of my job. I have terrible taste in clothes and I have a snarky attitude that puts people’s backs up. I can see why he’d be interested in me!”

"Ahh...” Sara said with a fond smile as she reached out to squeeze Jamie’s shoulder. "But we love our Jam.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

Once the members of *NSYNC had finished their meet and greet and left the private room, they began their search for the Clare, Libby and the rest of the women. They'd been expecting to find them somewhere in the restaurant, but due to the building being so crowded it took them a few minutes of walking around before they spotted them.

The reason they'd been so hard to find became clear to them at once—they were partly hidden from view by seven tall men, who had gathered around the table, and from the looks of things, were busy chatting up the young women.

Only Joey felt no twinge of jealousy as he watched the girls chat and flirt with the men surrounding them. Both he and Lisa had an entirely faithful and trusting relationship and he knew better than to let jealousy get a grip of him. Strutting towards the table confidently, Joey leaned past one of the men to plant a kiss on his girlfriend’s lips. Lisa, who was pleased and slightly relieved to see her boyfriend join their table, flashed him a broad smile.

"Who’s this?” Chris asked moodily as he joined Joey at the table and eyeballed one of the strangers. Clare frowned up at him as she noticed the irritation in his voice.

"This is Scott, Nick, Luke, Mark, James, Jon and Chad,” Clare said as she introduced each of the men in turn to the members of *NSYNC. Chris refused to shake any of their hands but the other men weren’t quite so rude.

James noted the way that JC was glaring at him from behind Clare’s seat and turned to her with a regretful smile. "I guess we’d better make a move...” None of the girls had noticed, but each member of *NSYNC had moved to ‘claim’ one of the seated girls. It was something that the newcomers hadn't failed to notice.

"You don’t have to rush off,” Libby said, offering Chad a sweet smile as she playfully twirled a strand of her hair around between her fingers. She was all too aware that Justin was standing beside her—she was always aware when he was near—and she hoped that her action would irritate him enough to do something about it.

"Nah, it’s probably for the best,” Chad replied as he stood up and smiled down at Libby. He didn't want to get in the middle of something, and although he liked Libby's smile and fair eyes, she wasn't really his type. As soon as he was up and out of the chair, Justin slipped past him and claimed his place next to Libby.

"Don't let us keep you," Lance said, flashing a fake smile at Jon, who had been sitting with Jenny. Feeling increasingly pushed out, the seven men parted ways with a few pleasantries towards the girls and none towards the men. Clare let out a quiet sigh of relief as she watched them go. Initially she'd enjoyed the attention, but if she'd been honest with herself, she'd have much preferred to have had an evening alone with her girlfriends.

"Thanks for comin' ya’ll, bye!" Chris called in a parting gesture once the men were out of earshot.

"Yeah," Justin said, joining in. "Don't bother comin' back!"

Libby, Clare, Jamie and Sara narrowed their eyes at Justin, and then at Chris.

"Hey!" Sara objected in mock annoyance. "We were being chatted up. You didn't have to scare them away like that!"

"You don’t need attention from losers like that!” Chris told her matter–of–factly.

"And how do you know they were losers?” Clare asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Before Chris or any of the others could respond, Lisa interrupted, glancing up at Joey. "Is it over? Can we go now?”

Lisa and Joey had made arrangements to have their own private dinner after the meet and greet. They were also planning to spend the rest of the evening watching the sunset from the beach. With Lisa busy studying for her degree, and Joey's schedule becoming increasingly busier as the days wound down until their overseas tour, they'd learnt to savour any time that they could find to be together.

"Yes," Joey said simply as he pulled her to her feet and slung his arm gently across her shoulder. "We can go now. Later, guys."

"Bye," Clare called as she watched the pair of them head towards the exit, a fond smile crossing her face.

"Right! Enough of this. What say you to a girly sleepover night?" Sara asked Clare brightly with a twinkle in her eyes. Clare looked at her in surprise but quickly broke into a matching grin of her own.

"I thought we were going to do something as a group?" Clare asked her.

"We can. These guys don't need us to entertain them." Sara said, meeting JC's eyes before twisting in her seat to look at Jenny. "What say you, girls?" Sara asked, addressing the rest of the girls around the table.

"Sounds good to me," Libby said, causing a disappointed frown to appear fleetingly across Justin's brow. He'd been looking forward to spending time hanging out with the girls after the meet and greet. Although he'd never admit it out loud, he liked the girls' company and always had a good time with them.

"Yeah, sounds like a good plan," Jamie added with a smile of her own.

"Oh, come on girls!” Chris complained with a whine. "The night is still young! Why don’t we all invade Joey and Lisa’s date instead?” He asked with glee, rubbing his hands together mischievously.

Clare—who was already half out of her seat gathering her handbag from where she had placed it on the back of her chair—playfully slapped him around the back of the head. "Because Christopher, they are the only ones in love around here and they want some time to be alone together. Got it?”

"Give him a break, Clare. Love is the last thing on his mind,” Libby teased with a snigger, turning to Chris. "Never mind, maybe one day someone will teach you the meaning of romance. If you’re lucky, Lucky!”

"I know romance!" Chris defended himself as he rubbed the sore patch at the base of his head from where Clare had slapped him. "I've been there, done that, got the license!"

"Then you should be aware that the lovebirds would rather be alone right now!" Jamie told him.

"But it's only eight thirty!” He complained. "I want to do something!"

"Then go jump off a bridge!" Clare teased.

"Speaking of him having been there and done that…” Libby said with a laugh, causing the group to break into laughter at Chris’ expense.

"Excuse me? I’ll have you know I have always been this handsome sex god that you see before you!”

"Oh, you poor baby!” Clare chuckled. "You’re delusional as well as ugly!”

"So what are we going to do?” Justin asked loudly through the laughter of his friends. He’d had enough of hearing the girls rip into Chris and wanted to change the subject back to the original question.

"I don’t know about you,” Clare said as she began to walk towards the exit, closely followed by the rest of the group. "But I am going home. This is my first official night off for a week and I am going to take full advantage of it! You're welcome to join me, ladies.”

"Deal!” JC and Justin cheered at the same time. "Everyone back to Clare’s!” They rushed forward towards the exit before Clare had a chance to realise what they'd said. She glanced in a panic at Libby who was shaking her head at the departure of the two men.

"I did say ladies, didn't I?" She said dryly as she watched them go. "Tell me I said ladies..."

"I heard it," Libby said with a chuckle. "I'm guessing they didn't."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Clare pulled up outside her and Libby’s apartment around half an hour later. As the group of girls piled out of the car and waited by the front door for Libby or Clare to let them inside, they were startled by a chorus of whoops and hollers from behind them. A bright set of headlights temporarily illuminated the group as Justin manoeuvred his baby blue Mercedes convertible into the space next to Clare's jeep.

"Oh, God," Clare groaned aloud as she watched the members of *NSYNC—minus Joey—tumble out of the car, their faces lit up with smug grins. "I thought we'd lost them on the freeway."

"I guess not..." Libby said as she watched the men make their way along the path that led from the parking spaces to their front door. As she reached back into her bag she finally grasped at her front door key, which had somehow worked its way to the very bottom of her bag, and she held it high for the other girls to see.

"So much for a girls' night," Sara added as she narrowed her eyes at the approaching men before turning back to watch Libby unlock the door.

"Just what I want," Clare said, just loud enough for the men to hear, "I get to spend my time off with the guys I spend all day with. Yippee!"

As Libby swung the door open the group made their way inside, with Chris making a beeline for the kitchen in search of food.

"You cannot be hungry!" Sara chided him as she spotted him sneakily opening the fridge door before closing it again in dissatisfaction—it was almost empty. "You guys ate at the restaurant."

"That was hours ago," Chris told her as he turned his attention to the kitchen cupboards above the stove.

"God forbid Mr. Kirkpatrick has to go without food for a few hours!" Jamie shouted sarcastically to him as she found herself a seat on the couch in the next room.

Clare threw her head back and laughed. "Chris and Joey are like two peas in a pod; if one isn't eating the other is."

"Are they as bad on the road?" Libby asked Jamie as Justin came over to join her on the two–seater couch that she had already claimed as her own.

He nudged her stretched out legs with his knee and waited for her to make space for him to sit down. Libby shuffled her body to the side and waited as he sat before stretching her legs out across his lap once he was settled. Clare and Jamie shared a look as they watched the pair get comfortable, completely oblivious to how their easy companionship appeared to the others.

"We can pretty much run out of food in a day," Jamie replied, answering Libby's question. "You think they're bad now... imagine how much worse they are after performing each night."

Libby turned to Justin and playfully shook her head. He raised his eyebrows at her before breaking out into a grin.

Not too long after, Chris returned from his visit to the kitchen and made his way over to where Clare was sitting. Without giving her a chance to object, he turned around and sat purposefully onto her lap. The group burst into raucous laughter at the expression on her face.

"Ger–off!” she told him with a red face, shoving him away with her arms so that he tumbled forward onto the floor. "Surely you lot can find something better to do than bother us tonight?”

"But you so clearly enjoy our company," Chris said as he got to his feet and made himself comfortable on the arm of the couch next to where Jamie was seated. "It would be wrong to deny you the privilege of spending time with us."

"I'm sure we'd manage," Libby chuckled as she met his eyes. "I think we should have left y'all with the fans. It would have been funny to see you try to get yourselves out of that one."

At her use of the word 'y'all' Clare smirked. Libby had no idea how funny it sounded in her English accent. Both of them had picked up certain phrases and expressions since coming to the States, but 'y'all' was a southern expression and Libby could have only picked it up from two people—Lance, or Justin.

"Ha ha!" Chris quipped as he playfully narrowed his eyes at Libby. "Hey, do you think I could maybe get a drink here? I mean, what kind of host are you?"

Libby narrowed her eyes back. "The kind who didn't invite you over! Besides, you clearly know your way around our kitchen. Get your own drink."

"I’ll get the drinks,” Lance offered as he stood and made his way into the kitchen, followed shortly after by Jenny.

Seeing them go, Clare called out, "There’s milk, OJ, coffee... Err, Pepsi! Oh, and I bought a few bottles of wine yesterday. You can open those too, if you like."

"Wine it is!" Chris shouted to Lance, who mumbled something back which the group didn't quite hear.

"Pepsi for me, please,” Libby shouted loud enough for Jenny and Lance to hear.

"Oohh... that's right! Strictly Pepsi for the under twenty–ones,” Chris sniggered as he winked at Libby.

Libby narrowed her eyes once again as he continued to laugh at her. "I wouldn’t drink that poison even if I was over twenty–one,” she retorted.

"Keep telling yourself that, Lib," he said.

It didn't take long for the group to settle in the living room and soon there was an assortment of glasses and bottles scattered on the wooden coffee table, along with a few bumper bags of crisps and popcorn, which Lance and Jenny had found in the kitchen.

Everyone who couldn't find a space to sit on the couches and easy chair made themselves comfortable on the floor. Only Justin, who was one of the lucky few who had a seat on a couch, seemed to be uncomfortable.

"Justin the foot rest!" Jamie remarked with a laugh as she noticed him shuffling around in his seat for the umpteenth time. In his desire to be close to Libby, he’d forgone the option to be comfortable. He would never admit it out loud, but he considered it a sacrifice worth making. He flashed Jamie a sarcastic smile but said nothing.

"So who’s up for a game?” Jamie asked after taking a sip from her glass of wine. She glanced around at her friends, a mischievous grin on her face.

"What kinda game were you thinking?” JC asked her as he leant back against the couch to support his back.

"Can’t you guess?” Jamie asked him with a twinkle in her eye.

"If you’re thinking Truth or Dare then I don't know...” Lance said a cringe visible on his face. He knew what Jamie was up to, and realised that she would probably use the opportunity to assault each of them with embarrassing questions about their love life.

"Truth or Dare? I haven’t played that in years,” Jenny said with a giggle.

"There must be lots of truths to come out then,” JC said as he offered her a friendly smile.

Clare shot Libby a pointed look from across the room and watched as the younger woman raised her eyebrows in response. Libby knew exactly what Clare was thinking.

Usually Clare avoided playing Truth or Dare at all costs as she hated revealing personal information about herself, particularly in front of a crowd. Fortunately, on the odd occasion when the group had decided to play, Clare had either been working or already tucked up in bed for the night. So far she'd always managed to have an excuse to get out of it. Until now.

"Don’t we already know enough about each other?” Libby asked, hoping that her question wouldn’t reveal how uncomfortable she felt about playing Truth or Dare. Especially with Justin sitting so close to her.

"Spoil sport,” Justin chuckled, nudging her with his socked foot.

"Come on, Lib, It’ll be a laugh. Besides, Jenny wants to play. Don’t you, Jenny?” Chris asked, turning to look at Jenny and flashing her an encouraging smile.

Jenny looked from Chris to Libby and then back again. Feeling unsure how to answer and feeling torn between possibly upsetting her friend or having to say no to Chris, she nodded tentatively. "I guess it could be fun."

"Then it’s agreed,” Chris announced, sitting upright and rubbing his hands together in glee. "I shall begin.”

He glanced around the room as he decided on whom to choose as his first victim. After a few seconds his eyes settled on Libby, who was deliberately avoiding his eyes by playing with a loose strand on the sleeve of her hoodie top, trying her best to be inconspicuous.

"Libby,” Chris announced, bringing an immediate groan from Libby. "Truth or dare?”

"Eurgh, do I have to?” She complained with a sigh.

"You have to,” Justin added helpfully and laughed as she shot him a warning glare.

"In that case... truth.”

"Hmm… Okay. If you had to date anyone in this room, who would it be?

Libby’s face immediately flushed with colour and Clare shot her a sympathetic smile. Chris certainly hadn't made it easy on her and she wondered how her friend would recover from her embarrassment.

"Great. All the men in the world and I have to choose from you guys!” Libby said, trying to put off having to give an answer for as long as possible.

"Just answer the question, Lib,” Chris said with a big smirk on his face.

"Fine. Probably Justin,” She answered, her palms sweating and her whole body burning with embarrassment. She narrowed her eyes at Chris, knowing how much he was enjoying humiliating her. She'd get him back, she told herself. He'll be sorry...

For the first time she was aware how close Justin was to her and she wished that she could remove her legs from his lap without it being obvious. She dared to peek at him from the corner of her eyes and noticed that he was blushing himself. It sent a shot of panic through her as she wondered if he'd been made uncomfortable by her admission.

"Come on,” Clare said, trying to lighten the conversation.

"It’s not like she had a huge choice. Pineapple head, pretty boy, Jordan Knight or curly locks… um, hard choice!” Clare gave Libby a reassuring smile and then sat forward with a devilish look on her face as she turned to Chris.

"Okay, my turn. Chris, truth or dare?”

"A dare from Clare,” Chris contemplated. "Truth it is.”

Clare grinned. She had him just where she wanted him. "The woman you mentioned at the meet and greet earlier... is she in this room?”

Clare sneakily glanced over at Jamie who caught her eye and glared back at her accusingly. Chris, however, didn't hesitate to answer the question.

"Yes," he said, "but you do know it’s not you, right?”

"Damn, I had my fingers crossed and everything,” Clare replied with a smile. Of course she hadn't been expecting him to say that it was her. She knew that he'd been referring to Jamie...

"Okay, my turn! My turn!” Lance chanted enthusiastically causing everyone in the room to burst out laughing at him.

"Calm down!" Sara told him with a chuckle, "You’ll give yourself a hernia!”

"Justin!” Lance said loudly as he turned to the youngster. "Truth or dare?”

"Dare," Justin answered quickly but soon regretted it when he saw the evil grin that crossed Lance's face. "No, wait! I choose truth."

"Make up your mind,” JC told him as he rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Truth," Justin told Lance. "Definitely truth.”

Lance paused to contemplate his question whilst the rest of the group waited. "Who is your idea woman?" He asked eventually. "And I don’t mean the usual Tyra Banks line. Someone who's not famous.”

"Hmm...” Justin said as he stroked his chin whilst pretending to give the question much thought, "My ideal woman...” He paused once again for dramatic emphasis which seemed to irritate JC even further. He let out a groan of annoyance.

Realising that his audience’s patience was waning, Justin quickly said, "She’s gotta be tall, but not as tall as me. Have stunning eyes... oh! And a great body...”

Clare let out a groan and couldn't help but roll her eyes at his clichéd answer. He was describing a fantasy, and not a very flattering one at that. There was no mention of personality traits or any intellectual qualities that his ideal partner should possess.

Catching her reaction, the grin slipped slightly from Justin's face and when he spoke his voice was serious. "Really all I want is someone who makes me laugh, likes some of the same things that I do and loves me for me..." He trailed off suddenly as if he realised that he may have revealed too much. "That’s it, I guess,” he finished awkwardly.

Clare gawped at the youngster as the reality of his words sunk in. Her eyes inadvertently turned to Libby, who was once again fiddling with the sleeve of her hoodie. How is she not reacting to this? Clare thought as her eyes widened in surprise. Justin has basically just described her, and she's acting as though she hasn't noticed?

Feeling as though she were being watched, Clare turned her head and met Jamie's eyes. She too had a similarly surprised expression on her face. Clare smirked and watched as Jamie nodded her head in Libby's direction before rolling her eyes in amusement. It appeared that Clare wasn't the only person who'd thought of Libby after hearing Justin's description of his perfect woman. 

Recovering his composure, Justin was determined to continue on with the game before someone challenged him on his answer. He knew that if he gave either Clare or Chris an opportunity to quiz him then they'd take it with open arms.

"Truth or dare, Giddy?" He asked Clare with a smile.

Noticing that the theme of the evening's game seemed to be revealing dark secrets about people’s romantic feelings, Clare realised that picking 'truth' would be a big mistake.

Despite what she considered to be her best efforts, it appeared that most of the group had suspicions about her feelings for JC. There was no doubt in her mind that if she provided an opportunity then Justin would ask her about it.

"Dare,” she sighed unenthusiastically, but then added as an afterthought, "but kissing anyone in this room is definitely out of the question. Unless it’s Libby.”

"I knew you two had something going on,” JC joked from where he sat on the floor by Clare's feet. He twisted his neck around to grin up at her playfully. Clare grinned back.

"Okay, I've got something” Justin said, which immediately brought Clare’s attention away from JC. "You have to go down the street and ask the first guy you meet to marry you.”

Clare narrowed her eyes at him and let out a low groan. It wasn't an especially awful dare, but it was embarrassing. She rose to her feet and gave Justin a small curtsy of obedience before turning and leaving the room.

Once the group heard the front door close behind her, Chris turned to Justin with a look of frustration on his face and said, "Is that all you could come up with? I'd have made her streak across the beach!"

"You’ve been single too long,” JC muttered with a laugh.

As they waited for Clare's inevitable return, the group broke off into conversations amongst themselves to make the passing of time seem quicker. They didn't have to wait long.

Not five minutes later, the front door opened once again and Clare entered the living room, hand in hand with a tall, blonde, attractive man who couldn't be more than around twenty–five, or twenty–six years old. He waved politely at the group of friends and grinned down affectionately at Clare.

"Jason!” Sara shrieked as she recognised her elder brother. She jumped to her feet and rushed across the room to envelope him in her arms.

"It's all agreed," Clare quipped as she released Jason's hand and returned to her seat on the couch. "We're to be married next week!" She informed her friends with a laugh.

"What are you doing here?" Sara asked her brother as she pulled back from the hug to look into his face. His arrival had taken her completely by surprise and she was genuinely shocked, and thrilled, to see him. "I had no idea you were going to visit."

Jason smiled at his sister and began to explain, "I'd just finished my last modelling job and had some free time owed me, so I decided on the spur of the moment to come and surprise you. So... surprise!"

Sara laughed at the spontaneity of it all. "But why here? How did you know where I was?"

"I tried your apartment first," he said, "but you weren't there. So I decided to try the one person who probably would know where you were—Clare," he glanced over at Clare and grinned. "Only she surprised me!"

"He wasn’t expecting to find me wandering the streets looking for a husband!" Clare quipped as she narrowed her eyes at Justin. It was, after all, his idea.

"I take it someone set Clare up?" Jason asked the group with a knowing smile. He'd spent enough time around the members of *NSYNC, and Sara's friends, to understand how the group dynamic worked.

"Nah, she's that desperate now," Chris snorted in amusement until Jamie and Libby both shot daggers at him with their eyes, effectively silencing him.

"Truth or dare,” Libby went on to explain from her spot on the couch. She offered Jason a friendly smile when he met her eyes.

"Ah!” He nodded in understanding and turned back to Sara once again. He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows gleefully. "Then I guess I arrived just in time!”

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Lisa let out a deep, contented breath and smiled over at Joey as they sat together on the beach. Their shoes were discarded at their side and they had their feet half buried in the warm, dry sand. Wordlessly, Joey leaned across and planted a kiss on her lips.

"I love you,” Lisa said as he pulled away and she reached out a hand to brush her fingertips across his bristled chin. Joey smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

"What’s wrong, Joe?” Lisa asked as she regarded his face carefully. It wasn't like him to be silent after she told him that she loved him. He usually said the words straight back to her without hesitation. Adding to her concern, he remained silent.

"What is it?” She said as a frown crossed her brow. So far, she'd been having a lovely evening, and she hoped that Joey wasn't going to ruin it for her by keeping secrets. If there was something wrong then she wanted to know.

"Come on, Joe. Something’s going on in that head of yours. Tell me.”

Joey opened his mouth to speak but at the last minute seemed to change his mind. He closed his mouth and pulled his lips together into a hard line. Lisa felt her stomach flip with anxiety and her mind ran into overdrive as she tried to contemplate what was upsetting him so much that he couldn't tell her.

"Seriously, Joey. You’ve never been this silent in all the time that I’ve known you. I swear to God, if you don’t start talking I’m going to slap you silly!”

~~~~~*~~~~~

Several hours and bottles of wine later, a few stragglers remained in the living room of Clare and Libby’s apartment.

Jamie, Chris and Sara had all fallen asleep in various locations around the apartment, and being a gentleman, Lance had left to drive Jenny back to the college dorms. Only Justin, Libby, Jason, JC and Clare were left.

"Ok–ay," Clare said sleepily as she reached out to poke JC on the leg. He'd moved to sit on the arm rest next to her after he'd lost the feeling in the lower half of his body from sitting in an uncomfortable position on the floor for too long.

Clare, meanwhile, had been waiting to go to bed for at least an hour, but having enjoyed the company of her friends she hadn't wanted to be the one to break up the party. Now that she was slouched comfortably on the couch, she still wasn't sure that she had the will power to get up and go and get some much needed sleep.

"It's time I was goin’ to bed,” she explained as she attempted to stand up. Instead of remaining upright, however, she fell straight back into her chair not a second or two later. "Ooh! Maybe not!” She laughed as she became aware for the first time the effects that the wine had taken on her body.

"Come on,” JC said with a laugh as he held out both his hands to help her sit up. He was slightly better at holding his alcohol than she was but even he slurred a little as he spoke.

"I’ve only had four glasses of wine,” Clare said as she tried to convince herself that she wasn't really drunk. She placed both her hands in JC's and allowed him to pull her upright. "Why is it that I can't feel the bottom half of my body?" She asked him.

"It’s fourteen percent proof wine!” Libby sniggered from across the room as she watched Clare with amusement. "And you’ve had six glasses, not four.”

Clare staggered forwards slightly as she tried to keep her balance, but managed to remain on her feet. Once relatively stable, she narrowed her eyes at Libby. "Who’s counting?" She asked sarcastically.

Libby—who like Justin had stuck to soft drinks all evening—was feeling the effects of tiredness creeping over her but was still mentally alert. She'd enjoyed watching Clare let her hair down, especially as it rarely happened any more. Clare was so busy with work that she often seemed to forget that there was more to life than being stuck behind a computer screen.

"Let me help you,” JC ordered Clare as she lost her balance once again and toppled back onto the couch for the second time. She slapped her hands onto her thighs and let out a huff of frustration. As JC reached his hands out to her once again, she playfully pushed them away.

"I’m nearly up,” She argued, causing Libby to burst into a fresh round of giggles.

Ignoring her protests, JC reached forward and pulled her upright once again before tucking his arm under hers and placing a hand on her back. Accepting his help, Clare allowed him to support her as she took a few tentative steps towards her bedroom.

"Thank you, kind sir,” she sniggered, causing JC to shoot her a withering look. As she began to laugh at his expression, she lost her balance slightly and toppled forward, crashing closer into his chest.

"Get her to bed, please,” Justin joked dryly from where he was half lying, half sitting on the couch, his lower body still covered by Libby’s legs.

As if realising that the party had come to its natural end, Libby shuffled to her feet and allowed Justin to stretch out the aching muscles in his legs. He smiled up at her appreciatively.

"So where is everyone planning on sleeping tonight?” Jason asked awkwardly as he watched JC and Clare disappear from view along the hallway. He'd left his overnight bags at Sara's apartment, having not expected to need them at Clare's, but he wasn't opposed to sleeping in his clothes if need be. Anything to prevent him from having to find a hotel at this late hour.

"I’ve got a great, big, comfortable bed all to myself!” Libby said with a grin as she stretched her arms out in front of her before letting out a big yawn. "And cosy pyjamas to snuggle into," she added as an afterthought, knowing full well that Jason didn't have a change of clothes to sleep in.

"Really?” Jason said as he raised a mischievous eyebrow at her and smirked. "You wear PJs to bed, do you, Libs?”

Realising that he'd found her comment amusing for all the wrong reasons, Libby poked her tongue out at him childishly and stomped out of the room, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

Both Jason and Justin laughed at her hasty departure.

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC and Clare made slow progress as they worked their way along the corridor towards Clare’s bedroom. Clare’s lower body was wildly resisting her efforts to control it and she felt sure that she was only moments away from uncontrollable, hysterical laughter at the awkwardness of situation.

JC maintained his firm grip around her waist, which certainly wasn’t helping matters any either. It was the closest contact she'd had with him in a long time and it was making her behave like a complete ditz. It was very unlike her.

Clare realised that at that moment she no doubt looked a complete fright, but for some reason those kind of things didn't matter around JC. He wasn't the kind of guy who judged a person based on their appearance. It was a relief. It was rare for her not to have to worry about the way she looked around her male friends; especially those she had romantic feelings for.

As they entered Clare’s bedroom, JC avoided turning on the main light as he guessed that Clare would probably fall into a deep sleep the moment her head hit the pillow, and the extra light would be a waste. It made his attempts to get her somewhat near her bed harder however as he could barely see where he was going, and consequently he tripped over the low wicker chest that Clare used as storage for blankets at the bottom of her bed.

Groaning with pain and using his spare arm to rub his shin where the corner of the chest had grazed it, JC carelessly loosened his grip of Clare slightly, and before he knew it she was leaning away from his body and slipping out of his grasp.

Clare's eyes grew wide as she realised that she was falling, but all she could manage to do was flail her arms wildly in front of her and grasp at JC's shirt. Gripping onto him tightly she pulled in an attempt to right herself but only succeeded in pulling him towards her. As she fell backwards—fortunately onto her bed—she managed to accidentally pull JC completely on top of her. They bounced several times as the mattress absorbed the impact of their fall and then Clare burst into raucous laughter.

"I really don't think I should've had that last glass of wine," Clare spluttered out in between giggles. JC quickly rolled away from her to release her from the pressing weight of his body and turned onto his side so he was facing her.

Resting his head on the palm of his hand, he watched her try to compose herself, an amused and fond smile crossing his lips. He'd forgotten how carefree she became when she'd been drinking. She was the life and soul of the party, and all the weights and worries that the rest of the time pressed down on her were released and she was free to fly like a bird.

Managing to somewhat control her body Clare turned her head to face him, realising in a sobering moment that he was staring at her in a way that she wished he always would.

"What are you looking at me like that for, Joshua?" She asked fearlessly, the alcohol giving her the courage to ask a question that the sober her would never dare ask.

"Nothin'," JC replied with a knowing grin on his face.

"What?" Clare asked again with a tinge of frustration in her voice. If he was laughing at her then she wanted to know why.

"I said it's nothing," he replied, and this time his smile broke and he turned his head slightly away from her to hide his wide smirk.

"What? You're laughing at something!" Clare observed, shuffling her body so that she was half sitting, her body supported by her elbows.

"You know, Chasez, if this room wasn't spinning so much and I didn't feel like I had a ten tonne weight attached to my shoulders I'd hurt you right now. A lot!"

"Sounds interesting!" JC remarked with a cocky grin as he turned back to face her.

Clare sucked in a deep breath of air as she absorbed his words. Was he flirting with her? She scanned his face for signs of embarrassment or suggestions that his meaning had been confused. There were none. Instead he seemed to shuffle closer to her, and Clare was sure that his attention seemed to change from her eyes to her lips.

She tried her best not to pout at him. Is he going to kiss me? She thought in a sudden panic. Would her inebriated state give him the courage to test the boundaries of their friendship, or was she already unconscious and dreaming? If he did kiss her, would it go further? Or would he realise that she was too drunk to remember, and do the decent thing? Of worse, would her drunken state be a turn off and make him decide once and for all that there was nothing between them?

Clare felt her heart beat increase in preparation of what she thought might be to come. She wished again that she hadn't had that last glass of wine and then maybe she would be in a more alluring state than the semi–conscious, rambling idiot that she had become.

Suddenly she was bought back from her rambling thoughts by the feeling of pressure on her forehead. She held her breath as JC ran his fingers down the side of her face, tucking a loose curl of her hair behind her ear as he did so. Where his fingers made contact with her skin, a warming sensation remained.

Staring deep into his dark blue eyes, unable to do anything else but be completely absorbed in them, despite a very small voice in her head screaming at her to regain some self–control, and not give away too much about how she felt about him, Clare felt her limbs begin to quake at the closeness of his body.

His face just inches from her, JC scrutinised every inch of her face before settling on her lips, when a smile that was so familiar to Clare, and so reassuring that she immediately felt a bubble of laughter spring its way up from the pit of her stomach appeared on his face.

He was going to kiss her! He, her best male friend and the person she had shared so many intimate moments with; the person who knew her better than almost anyone else and yet was the one she was meanest to because of it was finally going to answer her unspoken wish. It made her want to shout out loud and scream with delight, but instead she fought against the laughter that threatened to consume her.

Noticing the change in her expression, JC paused and gave her a sideways look. "Funny?" He asked and Clare knew exactly what he meant. Not wanting to discourage him, or prolong the moment any longer, she gave him the sweetest smile she could manage, shook her head and closed the gap between them.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Justin exited the main bathroom—where he'd spent the last few minutes after everyone had vacated the living room—he passed by Libby's open bedroom door as he went in search of somewhere to sleep. Unable to resist the opportunity to see her once again, he casually glanced in the doorway to see Libby climbing into bed wearing the same pyjama set that she'd earlier described to Jason.

Justin grinned. He lingered in the doorway, and realising that there were people in the apartment trying to get to sleep he said in a quiet voice, "So you're one of the privileged people who get a comfortable bed to sleep in tonight."

Libby tucked the bedcovers over her legs and flashed him a smile as she propped herself up with her pillow. "It's an advantage of living in the place where the party's at," she said, making a big show of stretching and getting comfortable to make him feel jealous.

"Well, Jason got the last chair so lucky me, I get the floor," Justin said dryly and flashed her a crooked, slightly forlorn smile.

Libby glanced over at the couch that was positioned under her window and chewed down thoughtfully on her bottom lip. How awkward would it be if I offered him my couch? she wondered. Would it be weird? Or are we both too tired to care?

It didn't take long for Libby to decide that yes, she was too tired to care. "You can have my couch if you like. It'll be more comfortable than the floor." Justin flicked his eyes to the couch and back again.

"You don't mind?" he asked, not wanting to sound too enthusiastic in case she changed her mind. He was already convinced that it would be a much better option than any that he could find on his own. Plus it was nearer to her, which was always a bonus.

"Yeah, that's why I asked you, genius," Libby said with a roll of her eyes. She fought back a yawn as she watched him make his way across the room where he proceeded to fluff up the Union Jack cushion that she kept as a reminder of home. Justin made it into an impromptu pillow before settling his body into a relatively comfortable sleeping position on the couch.

Once he was still, Libby flicked off her bedside light which sent the room into almost total darkness. Only the faintest hints of the moonlight could be seen through the gaps in her window blind.

For a while there was silence, and Libby used it as a perfect opportunity to pretend to go straight to sleep. She hoped that if she were quiet and began to breathe slowly that Justin might be discouraged from trying to talk to her. Staying in her room was one thing, but talking to her in the dark was something else. It felt far too intimate for Libby.

"So... PJs, huh?" Justin asked into the darkness causing Libby's eyes to snap open in alarm. Oh no, he's talking.

"Nope," Libby said simply.

"Nope?"

"Nope, we are not going to talk about my pyjamas." Despite the darkness, Libby could tell that Justin was laughing. She could hear it in his voice when he spoke.

"That's a shame," he said. "I was going to ask you why you're the only person in Florida wearing PJs to bed."

"And I said we're not going to talk about it." Libby paused, and then added quietly. "I feel the cold, that's why."

"You feel the cold? In Florida?" Justin scoffed.

"Shut up. I like my PJs."

"I didn't say I didn't like 'em. I'm just surpris—"

"Yeah, anyway," Libby said, interrupting him. She was desperate to change the subject away from her choice of bed wear. Justin said nothing but Libby could tell that he was still laughing at her. It was lucky that it was dark, she thought, for if she saw him laughing at her she'd have to hurt him.

The room descended into silence once again until Libby began roughly slapping her arms against her duvet, unaware that she looked something like an angry penguin. Justin—who was lying on his back—turned his head to the side to look at her, wondering if she had some kind of sleep issue that he didn't know about. Maybe the living room floor had been a better option after all? he wondered.

"What's up?"

"I can't sleep!" Libby said, letting out a huff of frustration.

"Probably too much caffeine," Justin replied matter–of–factly. He was an expert in messed up sleep schedules thanks to his time touring with the group. Nowadays he was so used to being exhausted all the time that he could sleep just about anywhere.

"Great," Libby continued to complain. "Now I'll be falling asleep in class tomorrow."

"Can't you take the day off?" Justin suggested.

"I can't," Libby said. "I'm in the middle of exams. If I take the day off I'll fail the subjects I miss. Believe me, I cannot afford to fail."

"You won't fail," Justin said confidently. Although he had no grounds to be so sure, he'd never known anyone—besides himself—who was as determined to get what they wanted as Libby. He knew that she would find a way to graduate no matter what.

"I hope not," Libby replied, a small quake evident in her voice. Afraid that he might have noticed the uncertainty in her reply and want to discuss it with her, Libby quickly flopped onto her side and repositioned her pillow so that she was more comfortable. "Anyway... good night!" she said cheerfully and let out a loud, fake yawn.

When Justin attempted to engage her in conversation once again, Libby ignored him until he eventually gave up and fell into a deep sleep. As he slept, Libby lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling, feeling more awake than she had all day. With an ironic smile, she thought of the young fans that the group had met earlier in the evening. Doubtless they too were lying awake unable to sleep. She knew that she was fortunate to know the members of *NSYNC as well as she did, but there was certainly a price to it.

Libby let out a deep sigh at the thought. Unlike the fans they'd met, she wished that she could stop thinking about the group—Justin in particular. She turned her head in the direction from which the sound of his breathing was coming from and sighed once again. Clare had been right all those months ago when she'd told her that unrequited love was the worst. Clare had been completely right. It was awful.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare woke to the sound of her and Libby's names being called from somewhere in the apartment. At first she disregarded it as simply the end of a very strange dream, but as the sound grew louder and more urgent, Clare found herself unable to tune it out. She reluctantly opened her eyes, but very soon regretted it.

The bright sunshine that was filtering in through her window stung at her eyes, and Clare let out a groan before trying to hide her face in her pillow. She'd completely forgotten to close her blinds the night before and now the room was flooded with bright light. Clare was surprised that it hadn't disturbed her up until now. Normally she woke at the first signs of daylight—a throwback to her days spent in the UK, where the occasional sunny day was worth waking up early for.

Turning her head to glance at her bedside table, Clare noticed that the numbers on her small digital bedside clock were flashing. Somehow she'd managed to completely sleep through her alarm, which was set to go off at eight o'clock. She’d known that she was going to be having a late night, and yet she’d completely forgotten to turn it off. Its flickering light continued to warn her that she'd overslept.

Groaning again, Clare gave herself a second to prepare for the onslaught of headache that was bound to appear the moment she was somewhat vertical. She tentatively slipped her legs out from underneath the covers, rose to her feet and shuffled her way out of the bedroom.

"Who's shouting?" Libby asked as she appeared from her bedroom just as Clare was passing by. Libby's hair was sticking up on one side of her head and she let out a loud yawn as she rubbed at her tired eyes.

"God knows," Clare replied as she offered her friend a weak smile.

They both made their way along the hall and into the open plan kitchen where they found Lisa. She was leaning slightly against a kitchen counter with her right hand grasping at the handle of the kettle as she waited for it to boil. 

At their arrival, Lisa turned her head and flashed them a bright smile. "Morning!" She said cheerfully as the kettle light switched off to indicate that the water was boiled. Lisa turned back around and began to fill several mugs with the hot water.

"Coffee?" She asked Libby and Clare.

"It's the least you could do," Clare said dryly as she accepted the mug that Lisa held out to her. "Waking us all up at ridiculous o'clock and using up our coffee granules and milk."

"What's the big idea anyway?" Libby asked as she politely declined Lisa's offer of coffee and instead went about fetching herself a glass of water from the faucet.

"What's going on?" Another voice asked from the doorway and Clare span around to find a very grumpy looking Chris standing there. His clothes were still crumpled from a night spent sleeping in a chair and he had a nights worth of stubble around his usually well–trimmed beard. "Who's shouting?" He complained.

"Lisa," Clare explained as she gestured to where Lisa was standing. "She thought she would pop round to wake us all up with her vocals!"

"Great," Chris quipped dryly as he reached past Lisa's back to whisk up one of the mugs of coffee that she'd made. Taking a long sip, he swallowed and let out a happy sigh as the hot liquid settled in his stomach.

"I came around because I have some news," Lisa told them with a grin as she took a sip from her own mug and peeped at them over the rim to gauge their reactions.

Clare, Libby and Chris all exchanged a look.

"And this news couldn't wait until a decent hour?" Clare asked her pointedly causing Lisa to laugh.

"No," she said.

"Hmm... something's up," Libby said as she regarded her friend suspiciously. "What happened last night?"

"Is everyone awake?" Lisa asked as she glanced around the room. She'd been hoping that everyone would be awake by the time she arrived, but she'd yet to see half of the people that she'd been expecting. She'd assumed that the group would have converged at Clare's the night before, but hadn't been expecting to see any of the members of *NSYNC there. Nevertheless, she was still happy to be able to share her news with them.

"I'm sure they've all heard you shouting, if that's what you mean," Chris replied sarcastically. Lisa pulled a face at him and rolled her eyes.

"I want to tell everyone at once," she explained as she took another sip of her drink.

"Well, tell us first and we'll pass it on," Libby said impatiently as she nodded encouragingly at Lisa. Her interest was already raised and she couldn't wait to hear Lisa's news; whatever it was.

"No way," Lisa replied with a chuckle as she shook her head at her friend. "This is big news and I want the whole group to hear."

Clare and Libby exchanged another look. Big news? She wants the whole group to hear?

Clare narrowed her eyes at Lisa and tilted her head to one side to regard her more carefully. "Okay, Lis. You've got our attention. What exactly happened last night?"

+ + +

Having his voice—and courage—finally return to him, Joey slowly got up onto one knee. He looked Lisa straight in the eye and took a deep breath, all the while hoping that he didn't look like too much of an idiot. The adrenaline surged through his body and he tried his best not to lose his nerve. 

"Lisa..." he said in a tentative, soft voice.

"At last!" She quipped back playfully as she reached out to slap him on the arm. "We've made a breakthrough! You really scared me, you know!"

"Lisa..." Joey continued as he ignored her teasing. He was so focused on what he needed to say that he wasn't even paying much attention to her interruption. "I love you, Lisa. I've loved you for a long time, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Jo–ey, what are you doing?" Lisa asked as she put two and two together and realised where he was heading. She reached out for one of his hands which she realised was shaking.

Joey allowed her to take his hand and gave her a nervous smile. "Lisa," he continued. "Will you please marry me?"

+ + +

"Oh, my gosh!" Libby squealed as she listened to Lisa's story. She'd had her predictions about what Lisa might say but Joey proposing hadn't been one of them.

"He did what?" Chris exclaimed. He'd been taken completely by surprise by Lisa's announcement and was shocked that Joey had popped the question without any of them knowing that he was even contemplating it.

"He proposed!" Lisa squealed as she beamed at each of her friends in turn.

"Who proposed?" A sleepy voice asked from the doorway and the group turned around to find Justin leaning against the door frame. He yawned, and as an afterthought raised a hand to cover his mouth.

"Joey did," Clare explained as she met Justin's eyes. "He proposed to Lisa on the beach last night."

"Wow," Justin replied. He was unsure of how to react to the news and glanced at Chris quickly to gauge his reaction first. Chris met his eyes and shrugged as he slowly began to shake his head in disbelief. He wasn't upset that his friend had kept the news from him; he was more bemused by it all.

Realising that the small group of his friends seemed to be watching, and waiting, for his reaction, Justin turned back to Lisa and gave her a warm smile. "Congratulations, Lis."

"Thank you," Lisa replied, blushing slightly from all the attention.

"So what did you say?" Libby asked as she lifted herself onto the kitchen counter top behind her and swung her legs over the side. Her words were met by chuckles from the others and she shot them all a warning glare. "What?"

"Isn't it kind of obvious, Lib?" Clare asked as she shot an amused look at Lisa.

"Actually, no," Libby said defensively as she began to frown. She didn't think that she'd said anything especially amusing. "Just because he asked doesn't mean that she answered."

"I didn't," Lisa giggled, causing Clare to turn to her in surprise as her mouth fell open slightly. It had been the last thing that Clare had been expecting her to say. Libby crossed her arms as a smug look crossed her face. She didn't say it out loud, but inside her head she was thinking, see... told you so!

"You turned him down?" Chris asked in barely contained surprise.

"No," Lisa assured him. "I told him that I would have to think about it. It was such a shock that I felt it was a reasonable answer."

Chris and Justin simultaneously sucked air in through their teeth creating a loud, hissing noise. All three of the girls turned to glare at them.

"What?" Libby asked them with a frown.

"That's not a good answer," Justin explained as he met Libby's eyes.

"And how would you know?" Clare asked him as she tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. "It's a big decision accepting someone's proposal and Lisa is entitled to take her time deciding. But... you are going to say yes, aren't you, Lis?" Clare asked, turning to Lisa suddenly. It just occurred to her that her friend may be stalling her answer because she wasn't sure how she was going to reply.

Lisa beamed once again and this time her cheeks turned an obvious shade of red. "Yes," she whispered and hid her delight by taking another sip of her coffee.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby emerged from her bedroom an hour later fully dressed and carrying her book bag over her shoulder as she prepared to leave for college.

She entered the living room and looked around for Clare, but found only Justin sprawled across the couch. His attention was completely absorbed by the music channel that he was watching on the television and he didn't look up when he heard her enter.

"Where is everyone?" Libby asked him as she picked up a green apple from the bowl of fruit that Clare liked to keep on the coffee table. Since she'd been so busy chatting with Lisa earlier she'd missed her usual breakfast, and so she'd decided to grab something to eat on the go.

"Clare, Jamie, Chris and JC are at work; Sara and Jason went for breakfast and Lisa left to go and call her mom," He replied, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"So... it's just you here," She remarked pointedly as she found her car keys and checked in her bag that she had all the books that she needed. "I've gotta leave for college," she told him. "I've got a math exam this morning."

Justin broke away from the television for the first time and flashed her a winning grin. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," Libby replied as she met his eyes and chuckled dryly. "After getting practically no sleep last night I'm going to need it!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

Back at the Compound, Chris had made his way to Jamie's office in search of some Tylenol that he knew she had stored somewhere in her desk. Jamie suffered a lot from headaches—due to the stressful nature of her job—and so she kept a ready stash of pain relief in her desk so that they were in easy reach for when she needed them.

"Here you go," she said as she fished a packet of pills out of the top drawer of her desk and handed them to him. Realising that she was able to help him and that he wouldn't have to continue his search for pain relief, Chris decided that he could afford to stay for a little while and so perched himself on the edge of her desk.

"Thank you," he replied with a tight smile as he took the tablets from her. "I guess I'm getting a little old for pulling all–nighter’s and guzzling down wine," he chuckled, and then raised a hand to clutch at his forehead. "Ouch."

"I think that's what you're supposed to be doing at your age," Jamie replied with a chuckle of her own as she watched him attempt to get the packet open whilst cringing through the pain. She sighed and retrieved the packet from his hand before opening it herself, removing two Tylenol tablets and reaching out to place them in his palm. He smiled gratefully at her.

"It's probably dancing and singing in front of teenage girls that you might be a bit old for!" She teased with a wink.

"Hey!" Chris objected and then clutched at his forehead once again as the pain shot through his nervous system. "Oooch..."

He held his palm out flat before him and tossed his hands backwards, sending the two tablets flying into his open mouth. Anticipating his movements, Jamie offered him a sip from her mug of coffee so that he didn't have to swallow the tablets dry.

As he took a sip from her drink, Chris peered at her from over the rim of the cup as she turned her attention back to her computer screen. It wasn't easy to distract Jamie from work for long; she was officially an addict.

Thanks to also waking that morning with a pounding headache, Jamie hadn't bothered making much effort with her appearance. Usually she would style her hair each day, but today it was scraped back into a messy ponytail.

Jamie's plans for the day were simple; she was going to spend the day working on the final preparations for the tour, leave work on time—hopefully—and spend her evening taking a leisurely bath and possibly watching a movie at home with her cousin. She hadn't seen the point in washing her hair that morning only to get it wet again later.

Feeling his eyes on her, Jamie glanced up quickly only to blush when she caught him staring. She quickly averted her gaze back to her computer screen.

Ever since Clare had told her about the suspicions that she had about Chris, Jamie had tried her best to shrug it off as idle gossip. She'd never been particularly attracted to any of the members of the group, but she could admit to herself that Chris' fast wit was one of the most attractive things about him. That and his dark eyes. He also made her laugh and had an easy of getting along with people, which she liked. However, his childish streak sometimes irritated her and she often found his attempts at humour rubbed her up the wrong way.

Despite going on two tours with the group and planning a third, Jamie usually spent more time in the office than she did with *NSYNC. It was only due to Clare and Libby's involvement with the group that she'd begun to know the guys on a more personal level. This was mainly due to Clare inviting her to spend more time with them all outside of work.

She couldn't say that she was particularly close with any of them. Out of all the guys she probably had the most things in common with Chris, but she'd never really had an occasion to get to know him properly. It was only now that Clare had put the idea in her head that she'd even began to consider the fact that he might be interested in her. Up until now, she'd never considered him to be anything more than a colleague.

"Jam, you got plans for dinner?" Chris asked casually as he picked at his finger nails and avoided her eyes, causing Jamie to raise a questioning eyebrow at him. It hadn't sounded like an invitation and so she decided to just assume that he was just being friendly. Even so, she was surprised that he'd asked.

"Well, I do intend to eat something," she teased with a smile.

"So you have plans?" He asked a slight hint of disappointment evident in his voice. The smile dropped slightly from Jamie's mouth. Maybe he wasn't just being friendly, after all...

"No..." she replied tentatively as she studied his face carefully. He continued to stare at his hands as though their conversation held no real interest for him.

"So you're free?" He asked, the hope rising in his voice even as he maintained his poker face.

"Yes..." Jamie replied, willing him to look up so that she could properly read his face. It sounded more and more likely that he was trying to ask her out, but she still wasn't sure.

"Great. Do you wanna go out to dinner with me then?"

Jamie felt her mouth fall open. After all that hesitation, he'd had no trouble uttering the words aloud. Her eyes bugged slightly out of her head as she tried to comprehend what was happening. One minute he'd been asking her for headache tablets, and then...

Jamie felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she considered her answer. "Err..."

At once she felt the panic begin flood her body. Did she want to go to dinner with him? What if they went out to dinner, and it was a complete disaster? Would things be really awkward between them? Or worse, they went out to dinner and got on really well but working together proved to be too much? Would she have to leave her job?

Jamie juggled the options in her mind as Chris waited patiently for her answer. By now, even he'd extinguished his fascination with his hands and had turned to look at her with a hopeful expression on his face.

As the moments ticked by, Jamie felt her common sense kick in and she forced herself to stop worrying about things that might never happen. What was the big deal? She never gave so much thought about the other men that she'd agreed to go on a date with, so why should things be different now? He wasn't proposing. He was just asking her to dinner. She repeated it several times in her mind so that it sunk in. It's just dinner... She pushed the negative thoughts to the back of her mind and met his eyes.

"Dinner sounds great," she told him with a smile. "Thanks."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby sat in the college's auditorium surrounded by her fellow students as they pored over their math exam. Despite having studied as well as she could for the exam, Libby still couldn't get past the first page of questions.

As she stared at the booklet of questions in front of her, the words and numbers on the page began jumping around. She could barely concentrate on reading the problems, let alone focus enough to answer them.

How was she supposed to fill in pages and pages of maths questions on basically no sleep? And why was it that despite being as prepared for the exam as possible, she couldn't stop thoughts of Justin constantly creeping into her head?

It wasn't anything major. Just little moments that they'd shared. Silly, stupid little moments that had slowly weakened her heart and made her love him. Like a few days ago, when they'd had lunch together at the Compound and she'd tried to steal a few of his fries...

+ + +

"Those are mine," Justin complained as Libby reached forward to snaffle a few fries from his plate. He reached over and playfully batted her hand away but it was too late; she'd already shoved the fries into her mouth and had started chewing. Justin glared at her across the table but Libby simply grinned back devilishly.

"What's the big deal?" She asked him with a grin as she rolled her eyes. He lifted a hand and held it in front of his plate as a barrier to protect it from any further onslaughts. Libby burst out laughing at his immature reaction.

"…it’s my food," he told her as he took a bite from his cheeseburger and continued to glower at her. Even though it wasn't a particularly attractive moment for him, Libby couldn't help but find him adorable.

"Yeah... and?"

Justin continued chewing and said nothing. To annoy him further, Libby reached forward once again towards his plate, but this time Justin anticipated her movement. He whipped up the plate from the table and twisted around in his seat to get away from her grasping hand.

"Mmmn...” he grumbled as he hunched his shoulders and pulled the plate to his chest. "Stop!"

Libby grinned once again at his childish actions. He was such a baby. "Share!" She told him as she got to her feet and skipped around the table towards where he was sitting. As Justin was too busy cradling the plate to his chest he had no hands free to defend himself from her, and so it was so easy for Libby to steal another fry from right under his nose.

She grinned and waved it in front of his face before tossing it straight into her mouth. "See, it's not so hard, is it!"

+ + +

Or the day her car had gotten a puncture, and he'd offered to drive her to and from work for the day. It'd been another occasion when they'd chatted about everything and nothing just like the good friends that they were...

+ + +

"How’s the new 'hobby' goin’?" Justin asked her as he momentarily looked away from the road to grin at her.

Libby beamed back and shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Still getting the hang of it. I've gotta admit it's kinda harder than I thought it'd be."

Justin laughed and shook his head. "Not surprised. No offence Lib, but you don't have much upper body strength!" Libby gasped and pretended to be offended.

Justin glanced away from the road once again to check her reaction to her words. Seeing the expression on his face he once again began to laugh. "What? I'm sorry but it's true..."

"Bollocks!" Libby retaliated huffily. "There's nothing wrong with my upper body strength, thank you."

"What about that time you couldn't get out of the pool?" Libby pouted and tried her best not to laugh as she remembered back to the incident that he was referring to.

They'd both been mucking about in the swimming pool at the Compound and Justin had made her laugh so much that when she'd swum to the edge of the pool and tried to climb out, the muscles in her arms had given way beneath her. She'd slipped back into the water with a loud splash and had had to tread water for several minutes before she'd gotten her laughter under control. It was only then that she'd been able to try again, much to Justin's obvious amusement.

"That was completely your fault and you know it!" She argued as a reluctant smile lit up her face. "Besides, you promised not to mention the," she lifted her fingers and made 'quote' marks in the air, "'new hobby'."

"I haven't to anyone else," he said, "but you didn't say I couldn't talk to you about it. Besides, I don't see why you're keeping it a big secret, anyway."

Libby rolled her eyes. "I don't want to say anything until I'm sure I'm going to continue with it. I don't want people giving me the old 'told you so' if I choose to quit.

"Who'd do that?" He asked her seriously. "They'd be proud of you for having a go. I think it's pretty brave."

"Really?" Libby asked sceptically as she pulled a face at him. Justin turned his head and grinned back at her.

"Sure it is," he said, ignoring her scepticism. "You know, it's always scary to take a chance on something when you don't know where it's gonna lead..." His eyes lingered on her face for a few seconds too long, and Libby felt her heart begin to hammer away in her chest. What exactly did he mean by that?

As if realising the double meaning behind his words, Justin quickly pulled his eyes away from her face and stared back at the road as he cleared his throat awkwardly. "You know... I think you're brave tryin' something new."

"Err... thanks..."

+ + +

Stop it! Libby chided herself as she blinked several times to clear her head. You have to complete this exam. You have to pass! You cannot be a drop out. It just isn't an option!

Re–opening her eyes, she re–read the question that she had been staring at for the past ten minutes. If she could just focus on one problem at a time and work her way steadily through the booklet then she'd be fine. She just had to keep reminding herself how hard she'd already worked and how much getting her degree meant to her. In her mind, there was no option to fail.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare lay on the couch in her office with her arm draped across her eyes to keep the bright daylight out. She'd tried to get a bit of sleep during her lunch break to ease the pounding in her head but she hadn't had much luck.

She couldn't ignore the niggling feeling in her stomach that she'd had since she'd woken that morning to find JC gone. He hadn't woken her to say goodbye, which she'd found confusing as he'd slept next to her—albeit above the covers—all night.

After they had shared that kiss she had, inevitably, fallen asleep. But she hadn't expected to find him gone in the morning. In fact, she'd been very much looking forward to waking and finding him still lying next to her.

Getting up from the couch, Clare headed straight across the room towards her miniature Hi–Fi, which she had bought in from home. She liked to have background music in her office whilst she worked as she disliked silence.

Flicking the power button on the Hi–Fi, she waited until the digital display illuminated, indicating that the C.D on the spindle had begun to rotate. Before the music began to play, Clare quickly changed the setting to 'radio'. The last thing she needed was the *NSYNC album to begin playing for the millionth time.

As soon as the room was filled with background music, Clare headed back towards her desk and sat back down in her chair. She fixed her eyes on a spot on the ceiling as a familiar song began to play, stealing the breath straight out of her.

Her eyes began to fill with tears as she listened to the lyrics that reminded her so much of... him.

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry? / Have you ever needed something so bad / You can't sleep at night? / Have you ever been in love, been in love so bad / You'd do anything to make them understand? / Have you ever had someone steal your heart away? / Have you ever tried to find the words / But they don't come out right? / Have you ever? / Have you ever?'

 

As the song finished, Clare glanced directly at her desk phone. Lifting the receiver, she punched the buttons that would connect her to JC's cell–phone and held the receiver against her ear. She didn't know what she was going to say, but she knew that she needed to hear his voice regardless.

Hearing the dialling sound, Clare took a deep breath and tried to muster her courage. She had to ask him—once and for all—what was going on between them. She couldn't handle any more uncertainty; especially not after their shared kiss...

"'Lo?"

Suddenly, Clare couldn't speak. He'd answered the phone a lot quicker than she'd anticipated and it had thrown her.

"Hello?" JC repeated with an edge in his voice. He didn't like people he didn't know having his cell–phone number, and Clare could only guess that he was assuming that a crazed fan had gotten hold of it from the silence on the other end of the line.

Realising that too much time had passed without her saying anything, Clare decided to cut her losses and end the call. Almost immediately the phone rang again, and Clare took a deep breath before answering in her usual professional greeting.

"H'lo Clare," JC said in an amused voice, and she could hear him chuckling down the line. "You called?"

Once again, Clare was thrown. She struggled to form the words that her brain was screaming at her to say. "Err... how did you know it was me?"

"Caller ID," he said simply. "Why'd you hang up?"

"Err... I..." Panicked? She thought to herself, "thought that maybe you were busy?"

"Nope, I'm not busy."

"Oh..."

"So what you up to today?" He asked her cheerfully, taking the lead in the conversation. Once again, Clare lost her nerve, and she realised that there was no way that she could raise such a delicate subject over the phone. She'd have to hope that he'd bring it up first.

"Just work. You know, the usual."

"The usual," he repeated thoughtfully. "You've been working a lot lately."

"Well, it won’t get done by itself," she said with an awkward laugh as she fiddled with the corner of one of the folders on her desk. The conversation fizzled out into silence and Clare mentally berated herself for being such a coward. There was so much that she wished she had the nerve to say.

"Well, anyway, I was just checking how you were," she babbled, realising that if she couldn't ask him about her feelings then there was no reason to prolong the conversation. Despite loving having his attention all to herself for a brief period, Clare was eager to bring the awkward conversation to a close. "I'll let you go. I'll see you in a couple of days?"

Clare always kept up to date with the group's schedule; for personal and professional reasons. She regularly kept up to date with their working schedule, and so she already knew his plans for the next few days.

She knew that they had a busy few days planned, and so they would be spending most of their time away from the Compound. Whether she saw them socially or not would depend on how hard Sara pushed them in dance rehearsals. Chances are they'd be using their spare time to catch up much needed sleep.

"Yup, will do," JC said cheerfully bringing a smile to Clare's face. "See ya, Clare."

Clare hung up the phone but continued to clutch the receiver to her ear as she mentally berated herself for wussing out once again. He'd certainly sounded pleased to hear from her, but she had been hoping for slightly more enthusiasm after the events of the night before. Still, she reassured herself, at least he is talking to me. He obviously isn't feeling so overcome with remorse over what happened that he wishes to avoid me completely. That's got to be a bonus.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Chris pulled into the free parking space outside Jamie's apartment building at around seven–thirty that evening. He'd borrowed Justin's beloved Mercedes Benz, as he'd wanted to do everything that he could to impress Jamie. However, when he'd remembered that Justin's car was baby blue, he'd begun to have second thoughts as to whether she really would be impressed.

Chris had planned to pick Jamie up at around eight o'clock. However, he'd been so jittery about the date that he'd been unable to stop himself from leaving ridiculously early. As Justin had warned him to take care of his car on pain of death, he'd been so focused on driving carefully from the house he shared with JC to Jamie's apartment that his anxiety had been somewhat brushed aside.

As he sat in the driver's seat and stared over at the lit up windows of Jamie's apartment, Chris concluded that it was probably weirder for him to kill the spare time by sitting alone in the car, and so he shut off the engine and took a calming breath before opening the door to get out.

It was just a short walk from the parking bay to the entrance to Jamie's apartment building, and Chris kept reminding himself that she was worth putting himself through this emotional rollercoaster. He had, after all, been working up the courage to ask her out for months.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Kelly, Jamie's female cousin, was in the middle of styling Jamie's hair when the buzzer for the front door went off.

"Oh no, he's early!" Jamie exclaimed in a panic as she raised a hand to clutch at her half–finished hair.

"No, don’t!" Kelly chided her as she slapped away her hand and forced her to remain in the chair instead of rushing to her feet, as Jamie had attempted to do. "I shall get the door. You stay there."

Before Jamie could say anything, Kelly had skipped over to the door and answered the buzzer, letting Chris into the building. She skipped back and resumed pinning Jamie's hair into a classy chignon as though there were no reason to be anxious at all. Inside, Jamie was dying.

Despite her protestations earlier in the day that it was only dinner, and that going out for the evening with Chris barely counted as a date, as the hours had passed—and the reality of what she'd agreed to had sunk in—Jamie had become more and more anxious. The butterflies in her stomach were almost intolerable, and she'd attempted several times to pick up the phone and cancel before her conscience had kicked in and she'd forced herself to get a grip.

In a way, she was relieved that Chris was early, as it meant that her ordeal was almost over. She knew that it was the build up to the date—rather than the actual date—that was distressing her, and that as soon as she saw him she would be fine again. Now that she'd accepted that Clare had been correct and that he had been harbouring feelings for her, Jamie, too, had begun to dwell on possible feelings that she might have been overlooking.

Maybe he was slightly more attractive than the other men in the group. Perhaps he did have a good sense of humour, and quick, bright eyes that seemed to light up when he laughed. Maybe he wasn't so short, after all. It seemed that the more she thought about it, the more things she realised that she found attractive about him. Perhaps discovering that he had feelings for her had actually made him more attractive in her eyes.

At the sound of a polite knock at the door, Jamie rushed to her feet and—despite Kelly's protestations—opened the door in a hurry, a big grin forming on her face as she regarded Chris in his black suit.

"Hi!" She said breathlessly as he gave her a brief wave. To her surprise, he looked even more nervous than she did.

Jamie had only ever seen Chris dressed up to attend award ceremonies, and even then it'd been under duress. The fact that he'd chosen to dress up for her made her smile. She felt flattered that he'd made such an effort, and that he was prepared to make himself feel uncomfortable in an attempt to impress her. For Chris and smart clothes did not usually mix.

"Are you going to invite him in, or does he have to stand there 'till you're ready?" Kelly teased from behind Jamie's shoulder. Jamie started at the sound and blushed as she realised that she'd been caught staring and had completely forgotten her manners.

"Right! Err... come in. I'm nearly ready, I just have to finish my hair," Jamie explained as she gestured him inside.

"You're not wearing those tonight, then?" Chris quipped as he pointed down at her panda bear slippers and took a few steps into the apartment.

Mortified, Jamie stared down at her slippers in horror, but Kelly was quick to step in for her cousin. "Nope," she said with a chuckle as she shoved her cousin gently in the direction of her bedroom. "She's got some special Tweety–Pie ones for the date!"

Making the most of the distraction, Jamie promptly disappeared into her room to continue dressing as Kelly smiled eagerly at Chris. Obviously, her cousin had told her that she worked with *NSYNC, and that she'd agreed to go out on a date with Chris, but even as he stood before her, Kelly still couldn't quite believe it.

She'd hoped to meet the members of *NSYNC during her vacation, but she'd never quite imagined that it would be like this.

"Kelly!" Jamie called anxiously when she realised that her cousin hadn't yet followed her into the bedroom.

"Excuse me," Kelly said with a smile before she skipped out of the room.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

 

Libby drove up to the Compound in her beloved dark purple Toyota Celica, which she had recently bought and had been saving up for what'd seemed like forever for.

She grabbed her book bag from the passenger seat and exited the car, swinging her bag over her shoulder as she made her way over to the main building. It was dark out, and much later than she'd ever been at the Compound before but she knew the pathway like the back of her hand and so didn't feel worried about being all by herself.

She'd needed somewhere quiet to study where no one would interrupt her, and the Compound had seemed like the best place. Even though home was a more comfortable place for her to study, Libby found the sounds of Clare making dinner, or even watching TV—even though it was in another room—too distracting for her to be able to concentrate.

She'd run through her plans with security, and they'd agreed that providing she lock up after herself, that she could spend as long as she like there. Consequently, she walked straight into the unlocked building and only had to swipe her I.D card on the sensor by the reception to disable the alarm before heading upstairs to her office.

Throwing her bag down onto her desk, she first picked up her mug from where she had left it next to her desk phone and headed back out of the room towards the stairs. She would need as much caffeine as possible to get her through her session of revision, and as the kitchen was on the ground floor, she'd be taking a lot of trips up and down the stairs throughout the duration of the night.

She had no time for sleep. Strong coffee would have to do.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Jamie appeared before Chris with a shy grin and playfully said, as she spun around to show off her dress, "Tadarr!"

She wore a long, straight royal blue dress, of which the straps were thin and the neck line a flattering V–shape. Her hair was lifted up off her face with the odd loose strand dropping beside her flushed cheeks. To match her dress, she wore a pair of small–heeled midnight blue shoes to match her outfit.

As he regarded her, Chris' jaw almost hit the floor. "You look amazing!" He gushed, as he finally found his voice.

"I do believe he's stunned!" Kelly giggled as she watched his reaction to her friend's entrance.

Jamie shared a smile with her cousin before turning back to Chris. "Are you ready? Shall we get out of here?"

"Yes, Ma’am!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

"So do you maybe wanna do this again sometime?" Chris asked Jamie as they made their way out of the restaurant several hours later with their arms linked.

Jamie smiled over at him and said, "I'd love to. I had a lot of fun tonight."

A comfortable silence existed between as they made their way back to Justin's car, before a cool wind began to blow causing Jamie to shiver and goose bumps begin to appear on her bare arms and shoulders. "It's cool out tonight," she observed as she began to rub her hands over her arms.

"Here, take my jacket," Chris said as he shrugged off his coat and handed it to her.

"It's okay. We're nearly at the car now."

"Oh," Chris replied as his face fell slightly. "I was going to suggest that we take a walk across the beach?"

Jamie hesitated. "Isn't that kind of thing for couples in love?" She asked nervously.

Chris shrugged as he continued to hold out his jacket for her to wear. As she flashed him a smile, Jamie slipped her arms into the sleeves of the coat and allowed him to lift the jacket onto her shoulders. "Is that a no?" He asked.

"No," Jamie said as she turned around to meet his eyes. "I'd love to walk across the beach with you."

"Great."

~~~~~*~~~~~

After walking several hundred meters along the beach hand in hand, Chris abruptly came to a stop and pulled Jamie to a standstill beside him.

She turned to look at him and giggled at the unexpected change of plans. Acting completely on instinct, Chris quickly pulled her into his arms and leaned forward to kiss her.

As their lips met, Jamie fought against her instinct to laugh and unfortunately, failed. She broke away and burst into a fit of giggles as Chris stared at her in horror.

"What?" He asked her, feeling incredibly self–conscious and paranoid.

"It's just that I'm finding the fact that you can be serious absolutely hilarious."

Chris rolled his eyes at her answer and pulled a face. "And you felt that was the moment to show that, did you?" He asked the hurt evident in his voice.

Jamie met his eyes and immediately felt bad for laughing at him. Perhaps the two glasses of wine that she'd had with her dinner to settle her nerves hadn't been such a good idea after all. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely and offered him an apologetic smile.

After she composed her face, Chris once again decided to risk another kiss and once again their lips met. As Jamie managed to resist laughing this time, Chris felt his confidence return to him and he reached out to lightly place his hand on her backside.

It was all Jamie needed to once again burst into a fit of laughter.

"What now?" Chris huffed in frustration.

"I'm so sorry!" Jamie said as she struggled so speak through her laughter. "It's just... you know... it's funny! Suddenly it was, 'Ooh, Chris' hand is on my butt'."

Jamie noticed Chris' disapproving expression and tried to straighten her face for the second time. "I'm sorry..." she said, "I'm okay now."

"Nah, forget it," he said as he playfully rolled his eyes, "the moment has passed." He was a lot more hurt than he was willing to admit, but knew that it wasn't worth him giving her a hard time over. They had—after all—been enjoying a relatively good date until now.

"I really am sorry, Chris..." Jamie said as she tried to meet his eyes. She was beginning to feel really bad about her reaction to his kiss and she hoped that he wouldn't hold it against her. The evening had managed to convince her of one thing—she certainly did have feelings for him.

In fact, she'd been surprised by how easily they had gotten along. She'd already known that he had a good sense of humour, but she hadn't been expecting him to be such a good listener as well. Or have had such an interesting life even before his time in *NSYNC.

Jamie realised very early on into the date that she would definitely consider going out with him again. She only hoped that she hadn't put him off from asking.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Libby headed sleepily back along the corridor from the direction of the kitchen for the fourth time—having re–filled her coffee mug—she almost ran straight into Justin who was heading towards her in the opposite direction. Having believed herself to be the only person in the building, the sight of him appearing before her in the dim lighting sent a shudder of fear through her and she jumped in alarm.

"Jeez!" She hissed as she clutched a hand to her heart as the adrenaline rushed through her system, sending her heartbeat into overdrive. "You scared me!"

Justin—who had been just as alarmed by her appearing out of nowhere—glared back at her as he, too, tried to recover from the shock. "You scared me!" He corrected her before pulling out his cell–phone from the back pocket of his jeans and squinting at the digital display. "What are you doing here at... eleven thirty?" He asked as a frown appeared across his forehead.

Having recovered her composure, Libby rolled her eyes and brushed past him as she made her way back toward the staircase and her office. "What are you doing here at eleven thirty?" She challenged as he followed her up the stairs.

It was a difficult question for Justin to answer. In truth, he had finally worked up the courage to consider telling her how he felt about her, after eight months of torturing himself with the fact. He'd called Clare hours before to see if Libby was in the mood to spend the evening with him, but she'd politely explained that Libby was at the Compound studying.

It had taken him twenty minutes to drive from his mother's house to the Compound, and two and a half hours to get out of the car. And, now that she was actually before him, he began to wonder if that was perhaps enough time to find his courage. Especially as she seemed to be in a particularly bad mood.

As they entered the office, he smiled awkwardly at her but Libby ignored his effort to be friendly and made her way straight over to her couch. She shoved some of her textbooks—which were scattered on and around the seats—out of the way so that she could sit down, and as an afterthought, made room for him, too. Needing no invitation, Justin headed over and sat down beside her.

Why does he have to look so good? Libby thought to herself as she watched him settle himself on the couch. Why does he have to turn up here, unannounced, late at night, and look like an Abercrombie model? I'm meant to be studying my course notes. Not him.

Despite herself, a smile began to form at the corners of her mouth and she shook her head forcefully to remove the foolish thoughts from her mind. She was giddy enough that even the most illogical thought seemed like a good idea, and she realised that she would have to be very careful what she said so that she didn't make a complete fool of herself.

"I just needed to talk to you..." Justin began nervously as he looked her directly in the eye.

Libby raised an eyebrow and looked back at him expectantly. She was tired, irritable and was all too aware of all the work that she wasn't getting done whilst he was talking to her. Each second that passed with him saying nothing ate away a little more of her patience.

"Spit it out, Curly," she snapped as he continued to stare at her like a rabbit caught in the headlights. "Unless it can wait? I'm really shattered and have a pounding headache..."

Justin leaned down and picked up one of her discarded textbooks before beginning to flick through its pages casually. He knew that he was wasting precious time but he couldn't help it. Having her so close to him was only heightening his anxiety, and he needed to stall to be able to maintain his nerve.

"I'm not surprised," he replied. "You actually understand this?"

Libby let out a bitter laugh and said, "To be honest, at this time of night, no."

Unfortunately, it was true. Despite her many cups of coffee and determination to get through at least one more chapter of her textbook before she called it a night, she had to admit that everything that she'd read for the past half hour had gone completely over her head.

Justin nodded once and dropped the book back onto the floor as he let out a grunt of disgust. There were times when he was very grateful that he'd been able to skip higher education.

Now that she'd been temporarily distracted from her studies, Libby began to feel the full force of her tiredness hit her like a hammer. Nights of staying up late to study and getting up way too early in the morning to cram in as much revision as she could before her morning exams were beginning to take their toll on her. She shuffled closer to Justin on the couch and used his body as a prop to lean against. Her exams were important to her, but she was beginning to wonder if they should be occupying as much of her time as they currently were.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" She asked in a more gentle tone as she leaned her head against his shoulder and let out an elongated yawn. Justin shifted his body weight on the couch so that she settled more comfortably against him. The strength and warmth of his body were soothing, and Libby began to feel her mind and body begin to unwind as he started to talk.

"It's something that I've been meaning to say for a while—" He began tentatively.

"Hmmm," Libby replied sleepily as she yawned once again. She hadn't realised how tired she really was until now.

"—and I've been thinking it over a lot recently. There's never felt like a good time to say something before, but I think I just have to bite the bullet—"

"Uh–huh," Libby mumbled as her eyelids began to droop. She was fighting against the overwhelming desire to close her eyes but she was fighting a losing battle; the gentle, low timbre of his voice was only helping to lull her to sleep.

"—It was really what happened with Joey that got me thinking... about the future and stuff. Things are going really well with the band right now and of course the tour coming up will kinda throw a spanner in the works for a bit. But at the same time, I'm kinda starting to think that there aren't perfect times for stuff, you know? You just have to bite the bullet and just go with it. Hope for the best. Gotta' take a chance at something once in a while... right?"

He glanced down at Libby's face to gauge her reaction. She'd been suspiciously quiet during his speech and he'd been surprised that she hadn't tried to interrupt him a few times, or told him off for rambling like she usually did.

Taking her silence as an indication for him to continue, Justin sucked in a deep breath and let it out in a rush along with his next words. "So... anyway... what I'm trying to say is that I'd really like to see if this thing between us could go somewhere, you know? You must realise that I have feelings for you, and I think that you might also have feelings for me. So why don't we see where this goes? And I know that you still might be upset about breaking up with Dan. I totally get that, and it's fine with me if you need some time. But Libby, I promise you that you won't find anyone who's as crazy about you as I am."

He paused and waited for her response. None came.

"Libs, did you hear me?" He asked after several seconds of waiting with bated breath. "Did you hear what I said?"

Still there was no answer.

He glanced more carefully at her face and realised at once why she hadn't answered him. His stomach sank with disappointment. It was the closest he'd come to admitting his feelings to her and yet she hadn't heard a word. The irony was painful. "Great," he muttered aloud. "You're asleep."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby woke at around four a.m. when the first rays of daylight began to filter in through her office window. She felt completely disoriented, and it took her several minutes to remember where she was and why she was there.

She remembered her drive to the Compound, her several trips to the kitchen downstairs to fill up her coffee mug and someone turning up unexpectedly. A frown crossed her face as she tried to remember and then suddenly it all came back to her.

Justin. He'd turned up out of the blue and had followed her back to her office. He'd said that he had something to talk to her about, but she couldn't remember what it had been. She assumed that it either hadn't been that interesting or she'd fallen asleep. Either way, she couldn't remember much past him mentioning something about the future... and possibly the tour?

Stretching out her arms beside her as she let out a yawn, Libby was surprised to feel her arm slap against something hard. She turned her head in surprise to find Justin still sitting upright on the couch beside her. He was fast asleep with his mouth hanging open and still had one arm outstretched along the back of the sofa beside her shoulders.

Libby fought back a giggle at the look on his face. She wished she had a camera to record it and show to him later. She shuffled a few inches away from him and stood quietly so that she didn't disturb him. Just as she began to tiptoe away across the room to her desk, her desk phone began to ring loudly causing her to jump in alarm and Justin to wake with a start.

Libby rushed to snatch up the receiver and answered the call in a breathless voice. She peeped over at Justin, who let out a howl of a yawn and stretched his arms out in front of his body as he came to.

"Hello? Lib?"

"Yeah... it's me."

"Lib! What are you still doing there?" Clare asked her in a panicked voice.

"I was studying and must've fallen asleep... why?"

"Why? I've been worried sick! You said you'd be back in a few hours and then you were gone all night!"

"Sorry, Clare," Libby said as she finally met Justin's eyes. He'd only heard one half of the conversation and yet he could guess exactly what Clare was saying to her. He grinned and rolled his eyes.

"Please tell me Justin is with you or we have another problem," Clare continued in a rush.

"Yes, he's here," Libby said as she grinned and rolled her eyes back. Clare was such a worrier that it was almost funny sometimes.

"God, what's the matter with you two? His mum's been calling me to say that he's been out all night, and no one knows where he is. She's really upset."

"Okay, I'll pass on the message. It was a mistake, Clare, honest."

"I know," Clare said as she let out a huff of frustration. Libby could tell by the change in her voice that she'd already begun to forgive them. "Just let us know next time so we're not worrying where you are, okay?"

"Okay," Libby said sheepishly. "Bye."

Libby put down the receiver and grimaced at Justin. He continued to grin back at her, completely unaware of the trouble that he was in back home.

"Bad?"

Libby sniggered. He had no idea. "Pretty bad," she admitted. "Someone forgot to call his mommy last night. You're kinda in the shit."

"Damn!" He swore as he jumped to his feet and searched the back pockets of his jeans for his cell phone. When he located it, he noticed that the screen was illuminated with six calls and several more text messages that he'd failed to notice. He held up his phone to show Libby, who nodded back in understanding.

"Whoops."

"She may kill me."

~~~~~*~~~~~

That night, all the girls gathered at Libby and Clare's apartment for their weekly sleepover. However, on this occasion, they were determined to make it a male–free zone.

"I can't believe you're going to get married!" Libby exclaimed as she nudged Lisa playfully with her arm. "Our little Lisa, a wifey!"

Lisa chuckled and nudged her back. "Not for a while. We're going to have a long engagement," she explained.

"And does Joey know that?" Jamie teased as Clare returned from the kitchen carrying two glasses of wine. She handed one to Jamie and kept one for herself.

"Yeah," Clare added as she took a seat on the couch beside Jamie. "Have you answered him yet?"

Lisa glanced sheepishly between her friends. "Err..."

"Lisa!" Libby chided her, her voice raising an octave. She couldn't believe that her friend still hadn't answered the proposal. "It's Wednesday! He asked you on Monday! How comes you still haven't answered him?"

"Aren't you scared that by the time you answer he'll have found someone else?" Sara asked her from her place on the easy chair. Her tone was teasing but there was an element of truth in her question.

"Thanks guys..." Lisa quipped dryly as she looked between her friends. They could all tell by the twinkle of amusement in her eyes that she wasn't really offended. "At least I know who my real friends are!"

Clare and Jamie went to protest but Lisa interrupted them. "Trust me, girls. I know what I'm doing. Joe wouldn't expect me to answer him right away. After all, it took him three months to convince me to go out with him in the first place, remember?"

None of the other women in the room had been there in the early days of Lisa and Joey's relationship, but they'd all heard the story a million times before.

"So what? You're just going to leave him hanging?" Jenny asked in surprise. Jenny didn't know Lisa very well, but from the little that she'd learned about her, and from what she'd heard from Libby, she was surprised by her actions.

Lisa smiled affectionately at the younger woman. "It's good for him to have a bit of uncertainty," she told her. "It reminds him that he's human, you know? Keeps his feet on the ground."

"Sounds pretty risky, Lis," Clare added as she took a sip of her wine and looked over at Lisa. Jamie nodded her agreement.

"I know. But like I said, I know what I'm doing. Besides..." She grinned and met Jamie's eyes as a mischievous look appeared on her face. "I want to hear about Jamie and Chris' date..."

Jamie groaned as all the women excitedly turned to look at her.

"Yeah, Jam," Clare said with a chuckle as she grinned at her friend. "How are things between you and Christopher?"

"Fine," Jamie replied curtly as she tried to avoid taking Clare's bait. She'd known that her date with Chris would no doubt be mentioned at some point in the evening, but she hadn't been expected it to be so early on. "We had a nice date, and we're probably going to go out again soon." A sly grin crossed her face as she added, as an afterthought, "he actually wanted to do something tonight, but I said I already had plans with you guys."
 
"What? You could have re–scheduled!" Clare told her as she shook her head in disbelief. "If I had a choice of spending time with my boyfriend or a girly sleepover, I know which I'd choose!"

"Oh yeah?" Libby teased her. "Which boyfriend is this, Clare?"

Clare playfully glared over at her friend. Only Libby knew about the kiss that she'd shared with JC, and the sad truth that since that night, nothing had progressed between them. Clare was relieved that things hadn't become awkward between her and him, but she had been secretly hoping that it might have been the start of something more.

She still woke every morning with butterflies in her stomach at the thought that today could be the day that he chose to take things further with her. However, she knew that JC was a cautious person who regularly over–thought his actions, and therefore she'd learnt not to expect grand gestures or spontaneous decisions from him. She realised that she simply had to bide her time and be patient.

"Come on then, Jenny..." Cyndi, Jenny's best friend, said as she turned the conversation away from Clare. She smiled at her friend and raised an eyebrow. "What's been happening with you and Lance?"

Since welcoming Jenny into the group, it had been a natural transition for Clare and the others to invite Cyndi along, too. To their surprise, they had found that she had a lot in common with the other women, and it now seemed as though she'd always been a part of their friendship circle.

"Well... we went out for dinner last night," Jenny said shyly. "It was very romantic. We had a table out on the terrace, and it was really secluded... Yeah, it was nice."

"But has he asked you out properly yet?" Sara asked curiously.

Jenny shrugged and shook her head sadly. "Nope."

"That's our Lance!" Clare exclaimed with a chuckle as she shook her head. Lance was notorious for being slow to notice—and act—when someone liked him. It wouldn't surprise her if he and Jenny still hadn't gotten together a year from now. She only hoped that Jenny wouldn't lose interest in that time.

"So... Kelly! Any boyfriends yet?" Clare asked the younger woman who was seated on the floor near her feet. Kelly glanced quickly at her cousin and shook her head shyly.

"Come on, Kel," Jamie teased her with a smile. "Don't pretend to be all shy."

"That's okay, Jam, she's bound to be shy. She doesn't really know us," Clare said, feeling the need to defend the young woman.

"Clare, you haven't seen this girl in action!" Jamie argued. "She's got more mouth on her than anyone I know. Seriously, she could even put you out of business!"

"I seriously doubt that!" Libby replied in jest.

"Wow, with friends like you guys who needs enemies?" Clare chuckled sarcastically as she once again narrowed her eyes at Libby. "I don't know what I would do without all of your loving, kind words!"

She winked over at Kelly causing the youngster the smile back warmly. It was easy to feel comfortable around Clare.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

The girls had four uninterrupted hours of girl chat before the guys of *NSYNC descended on them.

"You have to be kidding!" Clare shouted as she heard them burst through the front door like they had on so many occasions before. She heard them talking and whooping loudly in the hall before they entered the room.

"Seriously, Lib," she said sarcastically as she turned to her friend, "you need to hide that spare key!"

Libby shrugged back helplessly. "I did! What can I say? They always sniff it out no matter where I hide it!"

"Oh no, we've been invaded," Jamie said dryly as Joey and Chris bounded into the room. "We better hide the strippers, girls,"

"Strippers?" Joey exclaimed excitedly as he pretended to fall for Jamie's joke. He searched the room for a moment before grinning. "If it's strippers you want then wait no more!"

He quickly rushed over to the girls' stereo and grabbed the first C.D that he could get his hands on. As he waited for the first track to start playing, he spun around to face the girls and began seductively unzipping his hoodie top.

Immediately, the girls began to shriek and squeal in protest as they fought against their laughter.

"No! Put it away! We have minors in here!" Jamie screamed as she jokingly rushed over to Libby and Cyndi and tried to cover their eyes with her hands.

"God, no!" Clare yelled at Joey as he turned his attention to his next layer and began flashing them glimpses of his stomach as he lifted up his t shirt. "Joey, there's not enough room in here for your stomach!"

"Can't you make him stop?" Clare asked Lance, who was standing in the doorway watching the commotion with an amused grin on his face. He shrugged back helplessly and did nothing.

Also ignoring Clare, Justin made a beeline across the room towards Libby and promptly sat straight down on her lap for a joke, crushing her under his weight.

"Eurgh! Libby complained as she tried to push him away, but he refused to move as the group burst into laughter at the expression on her face.

"You've got that the wrong way 'round," Chris said to Justin as he flashed him a cheeky grin. "She's supposed to sit on your lap!"

Libby pushed Justin up off her lap and smiled sarcastically in Chris' direction as Justin sat down in her now vacant seat. When he was comfortable, he glanced up at her with a glint in his eye and she sat straight down without saying a word.

"The girl's got brains," Chris commented with a chuckle. "But she won't be able to talk about the first thing that rises; the sun won't be up for hours!"

All the men in the room burst out laughing except Justin, and Libby felt her cheeks begin to flame with embarrassment as Clare and Lisa let out groans of complaint at the crassness of Chris' joke. "Okay, that's it," Libby complained as she jumped to her feet and went to find herself somewhere else to sit. She couldn't look in Justin's direction, but as she failed to hear him laughing she guessed that he was as embarrassed as her.

"Oi, leave them alone you!" Jamie said as she walked up to Chris and swatted him playfully around the head.

"Oit! I'll have you prosecuted for physical abuse!" He retaliated as he pretended to rub the place where she had hit him. He playfully narrowed his eyes at her before unexpectedly lunging towards her and trapping her in his arms. In less than a few seconds he had her over his shoulder and he beamed as he made his way out of the room, calling loudly behind him, "See y'all later!"

As he made his way out of the apartment the group could hear Jamie's loud protests all the way.

"Where is he taking her?" Jenny asked Lance as he took a seat on the floor beside her and sweetly wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"It's Chris," Lance replied with a helpless shrug, "who knows."

"No one knows what goes on in his head!" Clare said as she went over to turn the stereo down now that Joey's stripper routine had been interrupted.

"And most of the time we don't want to," Lisa added with a chuckle.

"Come on, let's go and save your cousin," Sara said as she got to her feet and turned to Kelly. "I think she might need our help." The younger girl smiled and followed Sara out of the apartment.

"Hey!" Joey objected as he realised that the music had been turned down and no one was paying any attention to him. "Whatcha' doin'?" He asked Clare with a huff.

"Look, Fat Boy, we don't need to see it!" Clare told him as she made her way over to him and gave him a patronising pat on his shoulder.

"Not that there's much to see anyway!" Lisa teased causing both Clare and Libby to whip their heads around and gawp at her. Lisa was usually the last person to make fun of Joey and the first person to rush to his defence. Hearing her tease him made both the women throw their heads back and burst out into howling laughter.

"Is that so?" Joey said as he narrowed his eyes at Lisa, who grinned innocently back. He stomped over to where she was sitting, and in one easy move grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. Following after where Chris had gone with Jamie, Joey ran out of the apartment with Lisa bouncing up and down on his shoulder and shrieking as he went.

"Six down," Clare remarked as she watched the departure of Joey and Lisa. "Just six more to go and I might get my evening of peace after all." She turned to smile at JC who sat down in the seat next to her on the couch. He returned her smile and settled comfortably into the cushions before letting out a weary sigh. Unlike his band mates, as the evening went on he was getting more and more lethargic.

Not too long after, Lance turned to Jenny suddenly and whispered something in her ear that the group couldn't hear. She smiled at him and nodded before the pair of them got to their feet and left the room without a word.

"Where are you goin'?" Cyndi called after them. She felt a little put out to not be included in the invitation, especially as the evening was meant to be time spent together, not with her being left at the apartment whilst Jenny went off somewhere with Lance.

"Down to the beach," Lance replied as he stuck his head back around the doorframe and smiled at her encouragingly. "You comin'?"

Cyndi returned his smile and nodded. "Sure."

"Some girly evening this has turned out to be," Libby remarked sarcastically as she watched another of her friends leave the room. Clare glanced at her briefly and nodded before turning back to face JC.

"Come on, Chasez!" She said as she stood and held out her hands towards him. JC eyed her wearily but reluctantly allowed her to pull him out of his seat. "Where are we going?" He asked sleepily, "I just sat down."

"Well, you know what they say; if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

"Well said, Gid'!" Justin agreed as he followed Clare and JC across the room. As an afterthought he glanced over his shoulder to see if Libby was following. She wasn't. Instead, she was sitting cross–legged on the floor watching them go.

"You comin' Lib?" He asked her as he stopped walking and turned back around to face her.

"Nah, you go. I'm gonna stay here," she replied casually.

"Come on. Don't stay here all by yourself," he told her.

"I don't want to. I'm shattered and if everyone's gone then I can get an early night," She said as she tucked her arms around her legs and stared up at him determinedly. She'd made her decision, and she was adamant that he wasn't going to be able to change her mind.

"An early night?" He repeated sceptically and raised an accusing eyebrow at her. He wasn't buying it. Neither was he going to leave her all alone in the apartment when she was supposed to be having fun with her friends. He'd seen enough of her keeping herself to herself the past few weeks—thanks to her studying—and he knew that she was long overdue some fun.

He shook his head several times and for a moment Libby thought that he was going to relent, but without a second thought he quickly made his way over to her and in one quick movement, hoisted her over his shoulder.

Libby barely had time to make a protest before he calmly made his way out of the room, grabbed a set of door keys from the bowl by the front door, and even turned to shut the front door behind him—all with her still on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?!" Libby shrieked as he ran along the path that led around the back of the apartment block towards the beach that was around a half a mile walk away. Justin could see and hear his friends in the distance and wanted to catch up with them before they got too far ahead.

"Put me down!" Libby shouted again and began to pound her fists on his back in an attempt to make him listen. He didn't. Instead he let out a sinister laugh and continued running. "Seriously, J," Libby complained unhappily, "I'm gonna throw up."

"You'll be fine," He assured her as he caught up with JC and Clare, who were slightly behind the rest of the group. They both turned and looked at the pair as Justin ran past them with Libby still bouncing up and down on his shoulder.

"It seems she changed her mind," JC quipped dryly as he slowed his walk to match Clare's. Clare shook her head as she watched Justin run towards the sound of the waves.

"Oh, he'll be sorry," Clare replied confidently as she fought back a smile at the furious expression on Libby's face. "It might not be right away, but he'll pay for that."

As they reached the beach and took the first few steps onto the sand, Clare let out a sigh of satisfaction as she saw all of her friends together having fun and laughing.

Chris and Jamie were stood a way off, their arms around each other as they looked out across the water. Joey and Lisa were a little way off from Chris and Jamie and were sitting on the sand together talking. Kelly, Sara, Jenny and Cyndi were playing in the water, splashing each other whilst Lance looked on and Justin—who still had Libby captured over his shoulder—was running through the waves with a look of sheer delight on his face.

JC heard the sound of Clare's sigh and looked down at her questioningly.

"This is so strange," Clare explained as the pair of them came to a standstill and she turned to meet his eyes.

"What is?"

"Us. Together like this. When was the last time you saw everyone having such a good time all together? We all seem to be off doing our own things nowadays. It's not like it was a few years ago when we were all getting to know each other; it's only a matter of time before this won't happen anymore."

JC was surprised by Clare's sudden melancholy mood and he raised an eyebrow at her. "Hey, what's brought this on?" He asked.

"I don't know," she replied with another sigh. "I guess I just love seeing everyone like this and wish it would go on forever. Just having fun as a group without worrying or thinking about work."

JC flashed her a fond smile before playfully rolling his eyes. "Ah, see. You had to go and ruin it by mentioning work," he chuckled.

Clare shrugged but returned his smile. "I know. But it does take up eighty percent of my life. And besides, without it we wouldn't all be together anyway."

"Uh–oh!" JC said abruptly as he watched Justin run through a wave that was much deeper than he'd expected causing Libby—whose face was only inches away from getting a soaking—to scream even louder.

"He's going to drop her in a minute, isn't he?" Clare remarked dryly as she, too, watched Justin playing in the waves. She felt sympathetic for her friend but also knew deep down how much Libby secretly enjoyed the playful banter she had with Justin.

"Probably," JC agreed.

Almost as soon as JC had said the words, the idea seemed to flash through Justin's mind and he froze as he hatched a plan. Sensing a change in him, Libby tensed her body, and rightly so for only seconds later, Justin tipped her from his shoulder and she plunged headfirst into the ocean.

Quickly coming up for air, Libby reached forward and shoved Justin angrily away from her with both her hands. He was bent over double laughing at her, but Libby's face was stony and unimpressed. As he reached forward to help her to her feet, Libby shoved him away once again. Whether deliberate or not, he lost his balance and fell backwards into the waves.

Clare laughed as she watched Libby tentatively make her way to the shore before angrily stomping up the beach in the direction of the apartment. Probably in search of clean and dry clothes, Clare thought. So far Libby was the first person to be completely submerged in the water and she didn't look too happy about it.

As Justin broke through the waves and got to his feet as the water poured out from his clothes, he searched the shore for Libby and eventually found her half way up the beach. He cupped his hands around his mouth to act as an amplifier for his voice and shouted to her, "Where you goin'?"

Libby ignored him and continued walking. As she passed JC and Clare she shot them both a warning glare, daring them not to laugh at her. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.

"You alright there, Lib?" JC chuckled as she passed him. Libby said nothing but flashed her middle finger up at him and continued to walk past.

Clare and JC exchanged a look and laughed.

"Where are you goin'?" Justin repeated as he ran up to beach after Libby. Hearing him coming after her, Libby began to run away from him causing Justin to start chasing her. They made a big loop around the beach before he managed to chase her back towards the waves. By the time Libby realised what was happening, Justin caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist. "I didn't say I was done!" He chuckled as he lifted her around and clumsily carried her back towards the shoreline.

"Justin… No! No! Justin! JUST–IN!" Libby screamed as he dropped her into the water for the second time.

"He's dead," Clare stated as she watched Libby disappear under the waves. "I'm certainly glad I'm not her right now."

"J!" JC shouted loudly down the beach to Justin, whose head snapped to attention at the sound of someone calling him. "Gid' said she wants to go in!" He lied before flashing a cocky grin at Clare.

"What?" Clare exclaimed as she turned to face JC with a look of horror on her face at his betrayal. "I do not!"

As she realised that Justin was already heading up the beach towards her with a grin on his face, Clare began stepping backwards away from both Justin and JC. "He was joking, Curly," she said with a roll of her eyes as Justin neared her. She had absolutely no intention of ending up in the water, and unlike Libby, she was prepared to physically hurt anyone who tried to make her.

"Tell him you were joking, Josh," she ordered JC in a slightly shrill voice.

"No can do, Clare," JC replied with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I'm sorry, but you need to be punished for using the 'doubleyou' word."

"Oh, she did, did she?" Justin said as he met JC's eyes and sniggered.

Clare held her hands out in front of her to give her more space between herself and Justin, who was steadily gaining ground on her. "Come on Curly," she threatened. "Don't make me hurt you."

For a moment, Justin hesitated as he pretended to consider her threat, but then his smile broke and he shook his head playfully. "Yeah... That's not gonna happen," he replied as he reached out and tried to grasp a hold of one of her wrists. Clare realised that the minute he had a hold on her that she'd be upside down in the surf just like Libby, and so she carefully dodged his hands.

Realising that she could only avoid him for so long, Clare cut her losses and turned abruptly before running as far, and as fast, away from him as she could.

Unfortunately, her short legs compared to his long ones meant that he caught up with her easily and he had both his arms around her within moments of her making her break for freedom. He promptly began to drag her down the beach towards the waves. Even though she knew that she was about to get a soaking, Clare couldn't keep the grin off of her face or the stop the laughter that was shaking her body.

As she plunged into the water, which was—thankfully—much warmer than she had been expecting, she heard her friends burst into laughter. As she stood up and wiped the salt water out of her eyes, she spotted Justin doing a victory dance only a few steps away from her.

"You'd... better... run!" She threatened him in between breaths and he turned around to grin at her playfully. "I will get my revenge, Timberlake!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I'm going to be like the walking dead today!" Clare said as the group made their way back into the apartment at first light. They'd played out on the beach all night and had only thought to head back to the apartment after the sunrise had reminded them of the time.

"I've gotta collect my semester results at eleven," Libby said through a yawn as Clare headed past her up the hall towards her bedroom. She needed to get a change of clothes and have a quick shower before heading out to work.

"Can me and Cyndi get a ride in with you?" Jenny asked Libby as Clare disappeared into the main bathroom.

"Of course," Libby replied sleepily as she passed them in the hall as she headed towards her bedroom. "I'm gonna get a few hours’ sleep first, though."

"Sure, Lib," Jenny replied as she made her way into the living room to watch TV until they had to leave. She didn't mind hanging out at the apartment.

As Libby turned to head into her room she noticed Justin slipping past her and rushing towards her un–made bed. Her eyebrows shot up in alarm as she realised what he was planning. "Stop!" She challenged him as she noticed the saltwater still dripping from his wet clothes and hair. "You're still wet...! Don't you dare..."

"Whoops!" Justin chuckled as he launched himself backwards onto her bed with his arms outstretched so that he covered as much of the space with his body as possible.

Libby glowered at him as he shot her a winning grin. "That's it!" She shouted as she lunged at him and pinned him down onto the bed with the weight of her body. She grabbed for his hands and made handcuffs around his wrists with her fingers. "Now you die!"

And with that they began a play fight.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Please close the door if you're gonna do that kind of thing!" Clare said as she walked past Libby's bedroom door causing the pair to burst out laughing. She'd had a quick shower and now only needed to grab her purse and car keys before heading out to work. Although she didn't technically need to be there for another forty minutes, at least, she didn't mind heading in early today. She always had an overload of work to catch up on.

As Clare headed into her bedroom, she closed the door and turned to find JC lying spread–eagled across her bed with his eyes closed. He'd clearly been so shattered that he'd forgone her invitation to have something to eat and had decided to find the nearest bed to pass out on. Luckily for her, he'd chosen her room.

"Oh, poor baby," Clare chuckled as she sat on the edge of the bed beside him and peered at his face. "You've missed out on a whole night's sleep!"

There was no response. He was fast asleep.

Clare smiled down at him for a moment and fought the urge to reach out and touch his face. Forcing herself to gain some control, she reached out for her purse, which she had left on her bedside table, and quietly left the room on her tiptoes so as not to disturb him. She pulled the door closed quietly behind her.

"Okay guys, I'm off to work," Clare said as she made her way into the kitchen where the rest of her friends were gathered. They all looked over at her upon her arrival. "Does anyone need a lift anywhere?"

"Yes, please," Sara said as she pointed to herself, Jamie and Kelly.

"Sure, no problems," Clare replied as she slipped on her jacket and turned to the youngest girl, Kelly. "You coming with Jamie?" She asked with a friendly smile. Jamie had warned Clare—unnecessarily, Clare had thought—that Kelly would be accompanying her to work during her vacation as so she'd fully expected to see her at the Compound that day. Fortunately, as there was so much to do there other than working, it hadn't been a chore for Kelly to spend time at her cousin's workplace. In fact, she'd come to look forward to it. Especially as it meant that she got to spend more time around *NSYNC. It was something that she was definitely going to rub in her friend's faces when she went back home.

"Yeah, I am," Kelly replied as she glanced sideways at Jamie, who smirked back. Jamie was under no illusion as to who her cousin had really come to visit during her trip.

"Come on then, let's go," Clare told them as they all began to gather their things and make their way to the front door.

Just as they were heading out the door, Clare and Jamie both pulled back and let the other women go first. Remembering her friend's earlier words, Clare called out for Libby. "Libs! Call me when you get your results!" She shouted, as Jamie jogged back into the kitchen to kiss Chris goodbye.

Libby's muffled voice could be heard coming from her bedroom a minute later. "Okay, I'll be in after I've picked them up. See you later!"

"Okay, bye!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC woke up two hours later feeling very groggy and disoriented. He realised straight away that he wasn't in his own room, but it took him several minutes to locate where he was. Falling asleep after getting in from the beach had been a bad idea. His clothes were damp, and he'd fallen asleep so deeply and for such a short period that he woke feeling worse than he had before.

Sitting upright, he rubbed his aching eyes with his hands and glanced around the room as he began to come to. The first thing his eyes focused on was a framed photograph of himself, Clare and the other members of *NSYNC. The photo had been taken eighteen months previously over the Christmas break. Only Libby had been absent as she'd flown home to celebrate Christmas with her family that year.

+ + +

"Okay everyone, squeeze in!" Lynn Harless said as she gestured with her hand for the group to shuffle closer so they all could fit into the frame. As part of the group's Christmas tradition, everyone in the photo had been forced to wear a silly Christmas hat and pull a funny face to the camera.

It had been a random night between Christmas and New Year, and the group had decided to head off to a club in Orlando to celebrate together, after having just returned from spending the holiday with their families. As at that time *NSYNC were still relatively new as a group and no one had known if this would be their last Christmas all together, Justin's mom had wanted a photograph of them to preserve the moment for posterity.

Clare had been eager to ask Lynn for a copy of the photo for herself.

Earlier, when they'd walked into the club, Chris had stopped Clare right in the doorway where he'd noticed a sprig of mistletoe had been hung. He'd grinned at her and before she'd known what was happening he had planted a noisy kiss on her lips.

Straight away all the other members of the group had lined up to follow suit. First Justin, then Joey, then Lance and finally JC. "Merry Christmas, Clare," he'd said as he'd bowed down and placed a soft kiss against her cheek.

+ + +

JC smiled to himself at the memory. If only he'd known then that that moment would be one of only thousands of good times that the group would share, he would have spent a lot less time worrying about the success of the band; and whether he was wasting his life on something that couldn't—or wouldn't—last.

As he headed over to Clare's dresser to check his hair in the mirror, JC noticed an old Valentine’s Day card that she had obviously decided to keep. He smiled to himself as he picked it up and read the inscription.

'Roses are red, the sky is blue...'

JC was a slacker when it came to Valentine’s Day. Year after year he sent each of the girls the same card with their own handwritten poem inside. Generic and simple, it usually brought a smile to their faces without making any of them feel left out or uncomfortable. Only Lisa—who'd been around the group the longest and therefore received the most cards—was aware of his laziness.

+ + +

"Every year I get the same poem!" Lisa exclaimed as she opened the first of her Valentine’s Day cards and read the contents.

"Really?" Libby asked as she opened her own card and compared it to Lisa's. The handwriting matched, but her poem was different. "'Roses are red, violets are blue; you'll remember me and I'll remember you.' Hmm... Catchy," she remarked sarcastically.

"I get 'Roses are red, the grass is green; you're the nicest girl that I've ever seen!'" Lisa read and glanced up to shoot an accusing look at Joey.

"Hey! Don't look at me!" Joey defended himself with a laugh. "Even I'm not that corny."

+ + +

JC made his way from Clare's bedroom into the living room to find it occupied with Justin and Chris, who were watching re–runs of the Mickey Mouse Club on the TV and killing themselves laughing as younger versions of Justin and JC appeared on the screen.

JC headed into the kitchen and made a beeline for the fridge to prepare himself a drink of orange juice. He hoped it might stave off his headache and help settle his stomach.

"Jeez, you'd think this was our apartment," he muttered as he came back into the living room and watched them from over the rim of his glass as he drank. He hated watching the Mickey Mouse Club re–runs and was surprised that Justin could stomach it.

"Why are you watching that?" He asked grumpily as he narrowed his eyes at the screen.

Chris shrugged and glanced over the back of the sofa at him. "Nothing else to do."

"You're wrong," JC replied as he picked up the TV remote from the coffee table and flicked the off button, killing the TV's power. "We have a tour to prepare for. Come on, let's go."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

As the guys of *NSYNC relaxed in and around the pool area at the Compound during their lunch break, they all heard the sharp sound of tyres screeching to a halt in the car lot outside. Justin swam to the side of the pool and pulled his upper body out of the water before exchanging glances with Chris, who was sat on the poolside with his feet dangling in the water.

"Who's that?" Lance asked as he too swam over to where Chris was sitting.

"Dunno," Chris answered him as he shaded his eyes with his hand so that he could see without the sun's glare distorting his vision. Although the car lot was partially blocked from view by the side of the building and the careful positioning of several tall bushes, the odd glimpses could be seen of visitors as they made their way from the car lot to the main building.

"It's Libby," Chris said after a moment as he recognised her briefly before she disappeared from view again. Although she might have heard them, she hadn't even glanced in their direction.

Just as Justin was considering getting out of the pool to go and see her, JC swam up behind him and pressed his weight down onto the youngster's shoulders. Justin was immediately plunged straight back under the water. As he came up for air and wiped the water out of his eyes with his hands, he looked around for JC to continue the fight that his band mate had started. I'll go see her later, he thought as he playfully swung for JC.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby collapsed into her desk chair and released the sobs that had been threatening to burst out of her since she'd left the college campus. Now that she was alone in her office, the hot tears that she'd been holding back began to flow down her pale cheeks. She let her head flop forward into her hands and let out a howl of distress.

Everything's ruined... a whole year of my life wasted... and for what?

She'd had some terrible news during her semester appraisal. Possibly the worst news ever and it had taken her completely by surprise. It's not that she'd been expecting to get full marks—she wasn't naive—but she'd never, would never...

How could I have done so badly? How can it be possible that I'm... failing?

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare walked into Libby's office a few minutes later having seen—heard—her friend's car pull into the car lot. After not hearing from Libby as she'd expected, Clare had decided to head around to her friend's office to check that she was okay just in case she'd received some bad news. The moment that she saw Libby sobbing over her desk, Clare realised that she'd been right on the money once again.

"Lib!" Clare exclaimed in concern as she rushed to her side, "what's happened?"

After several incomprehensible attempts to tell Clare what was wrong through her tears and sobs, Libby finally calmed down enough to be able to explain. "They said that unless I improve my grades from today then I'm out!" She spluttered as she rubbed her hands roughly across her eyes. Her tears continued to fall. "I've got to re–sit all of my exams in the coming week. All of them! And if I fail any then they'll kick me off my course."

Clare sat there completely flabbergasted by Libby's news. She reached out and placed an arm around her friend's shoulder in an effort to comfort her.

"I've completely bombed out!" Libby continued in between sobs. "I had to practically beg them not to throw me out today. If I hadn't asked for a chance to re–sit then I think they might've."

Libby turned her head and looked at Clare with her puffy, red eyes. "What am I gonna do, Clare? I've worked my butt off studying for this course and it's made no difference! My brain will literally explode if I try to cram any more information inside. I'm already suffering from information overload as it is!"

Clare looked into her friend's eyes and remembered back to all the nights that she'd heard her friend up studying until the early hours of the morning. There'd even been occasions when she'd woken up early to find Libby's bedroom light still showing through the crack at the bottom of her door. Clare couldn't deny that Libby had committed one–hundred percent to her course, and she was shocked to find that her friend's hard work hadn't paid off. Libby hadn't given her any indication that she was struggling with the work load, and she'd seemed enthused and excited about her course only days before.

"I think that maybe you should take some time off from studying, Lib," Clare suggested in a tentative voice. "All of this extra pressure that you've been putting on yourself can't be good for you. Perhaps that's why you haven't gotten the results you wanted. Maybe you're just pushing yourself too hard?"

"I can't take time off!" Libby replied slightly hysterically as her eyes widened in alarm. "Didn't you hear what I said? They'll kick me off the course if I don't do better! If I'm failing already what good will taking time off do? I genuinely don't understand it, Clare. I've never worked so hard at something in my entire life and yet it hasn't made a bit of difference."

Clare noted the hysteria in her friend's voice and realised that she needed to somehow get through to Libby before her guilt and shame spiralled out of control. Yes, her exams were important, but they weren't a matter of life and death. Somehow, Libby had become so swallowed up by her studies that she'd lost all perspective.

"Libs, you've had a temporary blip, that's all. You'll get past this and one day you'll be able to look back and realise the lessons you've learnt from this experience. I know it looks bad now, but you can only work your way up from here," she assured her. Libby stared at her with worried eyes but Clare could tell that she was at least considering her words. Or at least it appeared that she was.

"Just take the rest of the day off to clear your head. No studying, no working. Just take a step back from it all and then you'll be able to look at everything again with a new perspective."

For a moment, Clare thought that Libby was going to challenge her, but instead the younger woman let out a deep, shaky sigh and nodded sadly as her shoulders sagged in defeat. "You're right, I guess. One day off probably won't make much difference at this point."

Clare smiled encouragingly and reached out to wrap her up in a tight hug. "It's gonna be okay, Lib, I promise," she said confidently as she placed a light kiss on Libby's forehead. "Trust me—it'll all work out for the best."

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Clare searched the floor under her desk for the file that she'd misplaced, she heard her office door open unexpectedly and she sat upright—with her face slightly flushed—to meet Justin's eyes. His hair was still wet from the shower he'd just taken after afternoon rehearsals.

"Where is she?" He asked Clare, glancing around the room for some sign of Libby. He'd already looked for her in her own office but when he'd found it empty he'd assumed that she might be with Clare. "I saw her car pull up but can't find her anywhere."

"She's not here," Clare explained with a sad smile. "She's gone home."

"Oh," Justin replied in surprise. He'd been expecting Libby to be bouncing around boasting about her exam results. In fact, he'd even gone to the trouble of buying her a mini bottle of champagne in advance, which he'd sneakily hidden in the mini–fridge in the games room downstairs. "I wanted to ask her about her results..."

"Yeah..." Clare muttered as she pulled a face. She hoped that Libby wouldn't mind her telling Justin about her bad news. She figured that sooner or later he'd find out anyway. Especially as the pair had become so close in recent weeks. Clare assumed that Libby would want Justin to know. "They weren't good, J. She's really upset."

Justin's face fell, and he regarded her carefully. "Really?"

Clare nodded glumly. "Apparently she's got to re–sit her exams next week or face being kicked out."

"Kicked out? How can that be? She's been studying her butt off for weeks!"

"I know. Naturally it's been quite a shock for her so I suggested that she take some time out."

"Yeah, sure." Justin replied, empathising with Libby. He knew how much work she'd put into preparing for her exams, and he wasn't surprised at all to hear that she was very upset. "Should I call her, do you think?"

Clare hesitated for a moment. "I'd leave it a while," she said eventually. "She might need some time to clear her head."

"Yeah, okay. Well, maybe I'll call her tonight to see if she's okay. I just don't want her thinking that no one cares, you know."

Clare gave Justin a fond smile and tried not to chuckle. There was no way that Libby, or anyone, could accuse him of not caring for her. "Don't worry. She knows we all care about her."

Justin met Clare's eyes and held eye contact with her for a few minutes before he broke away and began to nod. He knew for certain that Libby didn't know exactly how much he cared for her.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby pulled up into her car parking space outside the apartment and left the engine running. She sat back in the driver’s seat and let her head settle back against the head rest all the while keeping her hands tightly gripped onto the steering wheel.

I don't want to go inside. I don't want to be here. I want to go somewhere, and do something that doesn't require thinking... I can't handle any more time stuck in my own head.

As she stared out of the windscreen at the entrance to the apartment block, Libby thought back to earlier that morning and the chaos of books and notes that she'd left on her bed and scattered across her bedroom floor. It made her feel ill inside. She needed to be somewhere that didn't have memories of the hours she'd wasted pouring over boring old textbooks. The thought of spending the rest of the day alone in the apartment made her feel like tearing at her hair.

She couldn't fight the voice in her head that was repeatedly reminding her that she was a giant failure.

It was true, after all, and now her college professors and fellow students knew it too. Soon, all of her friends would know and she'd have to face them all with the knowledge that they were all reaching and achieving their goals whilst she was stuck in nowheresville.

She let out a bitter laugh and bit down hard on her bottom lip to try to draw her internal pain into something external. She was flooded with feelings of self–loathing and it as only when she felt the taste of blood in her mouth that she felt somewhat satisfied and stopped hurting herself.

Why had she thought that she could pass all of those exams? Did she really think that she could have everything that she wanted just because she dared to try? She was bound to fail at something, sooner or later. After all, it was the first thing that she'd tried to do all by herself without someone helping her out in some way.

At home, her parents had helped her out with everything and in Florida, Clare had been the one to organise somewhere for them to stay. She'd even recommended her for the job at the record label. Without Clare's help, she would still be at home in England where she belonged.

Fighting back the tears once again, Libby put the car in reverse and hastily pulled back out of the bay. Clare was right; she needed to clear her head before all of her negative thoughts consumed her. She should be out in the fresh air, where the sunshine and sea breezes would wash away her dark thoughts and give her some perspective. All at once, she knew exactly where to go.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare woke early the next morning to the shrill ringing of her cell–phone, which she'd left on her bedside table the night before. It took her a few minutes before she was awake enough to answer it, and when she did her voice sounded thick and groggy.

 

"'Lo?"

"Hey, Clare. It's Justin. Can I talk to Lib?"

Clare let out a groan and mentally berated him for waking her. "Can't you call her cell instead of waking me up?" She replied moodily as she climbed out of her bed and made her way through the apartment towards Libby's room. Since she was already awake, she figured that she might as well go and wake Libby too. It was, after all, her fault that Justin had woken her in the first place.

"I did, but she didn't answer. Maybe it's off?" Justin suggested as he waited for Clare to pass the phone to Libby.

"Okay, hang on. I'll get her," Clare said as she knocked on Libby's closed bedroom door with her fist and waited for a reply. "Did you consider the fact that maybe she didn't answer 'cause she doesn't want to talk to you?" Clare snapped at him before realising that he'd probably called to check that Libby was okay after being so upset the day before. She couldn't deny that his concern for her friend was rather sweet.

"Come on, Lib, get up!" Clare shouted through the closed door of Libby's bedroom after waiting several seconds but getting no response. "Curly's on the phone and he wants to talk to you."

Still there was no answer and Clare felt her irritation increase. There was nothing Clare hated more than someone who was sleeping peacefully while she had to be awake.

"Lib!" Clare shouted again as she increased the strength of her pounding on the door. It wasn't like Libby to ignore her so deliberately, and Clare knew that there was no way that her friend could sleep through her shouting and banging.

She cautiously opened Libby's door and peeped inside. "Lib?"

Instead of finding Libby sprawled in the middle of her bed asleep as she'd expected, Clare was surprised to find the room empty and exactly as it had been when she'd returned from work the night before. Libby's books were still scattered across the room and the blind was still up, suggesting that her friend hadn't been home at all.

Now that she thought about it, Clare couldn't remember hearing Libby arrive home late, or, in fact, at all, but then she'd been so tired herself that she'd gone to bed early to get some well needed rest. It was possible that she was deeply asleep and hadn't been disturbed by her friend's arrival.

"J, did you see Libby at all last night?" Clare asked Justin as she tried not to let her imagination run wild. There was a slim chance that Libby had spent the night out with some friends and it wasn't outside the realm of possibility for her to crash on someone's couch instead of returning home to sleep. There was no reason for her to panic, she kept reminding herself.

"Nah, I tried calling her cell last night, but it was off or not receiving signal or something. Why'd you ask?"

"'Cause I don't think she came home last night," Clare replied. Even to her ears the words sounded strange. It was so unlike Libby. Other than a few days ago when she'd accidentally stayed late at the Compound, Clare couldn't remember a time in recent history when her friend hadn't at least called to say if she wasn't going to be coming home.

"What makes you say that?" Justin asked Clare with an edge to his voice. He, too, was beginning to dislike the direction the conversation was headed. He didn't like the thought of Libby being out all night, especially with her having been so upset the day before. She could have got into any kind of trouble without someone looking out for her.

"Her room is untouched!" Clare said as she headed back into the living room to look for her friend's keys in the key bowl. "Her car keys are gone as well as her door keys. She normally calls if she's not gonna be home..."

"Don't panic, Clare," Justin reassured her as he heard the concern growing in her voice. "Maybe she headed out early somewhere and you've just missed her. I'll tell you what, I'll come over and swing past the Compound on my way. Maybe she's there?"

"But why would she be?" Clare asked as she headed back towards Libby's room to see if her friend had left her a note to say where she was. "Neither of us is working today."

"Well, I'll check anyway. You try the other girls in case she's with one of them. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding, Gid'. I'll see ya in a bit."

"Yeah... okay. Bye," Clare said in an unconvinced voice as she hung up the phone. There was just too much adding up that didn't make sense to her. Libby was usually a very reliable and trustworthy person, and Clare couldn't fight the niggling feeling of panic in her stomach that something wasn't right. It just wasn't Libby's style to disappear without telling someone.

Clare made her way automatically into the living room and forced herself to sit down on the couch so that she wouldn't start pacing the floor.

Justin was right. She needed to call the others first before assuming that something was wrong. Maybe Libby had gone to see Lisa? It would make sense for her to try to reach out to another student who might understand what she was going through. She picked up her landline phone from its position on the coffee table and dialled Lisa's number. Subconsciously, she began tapping her foot on the floor.

Calm down Clare! She told herself as she waited for Lisa to pick up the phone. There's no need to assume the worst has happened.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Not more than ten minutes later, a tapping at the front door caused Clare to start, and she realised at once that Justin had arrived. So far she'd managed to call Lisa, Sara and was just dialling Jamie's cell when she heard the tapping at the door. Ending the call before she heard the connecting sound, Clare rushed to the front door hoping that Justin would have some good news for her.

Clare opened the door in a hurry and felt her stomach sink with disappointment when she saw JC standing before her. "She's fine. I know it!" He assured her as he reached forward and pulled her into a tight hug, which she gratefully reciprocated.

Clare wasn't sure how to feel. At first she was surprised, then disappointed and now relieved to see him. Of course, had Justin turned up with Libby at his side, all of her worries and concerns would be over. But having JC around during her moment of need already made her feel so much better.

"J called me," he explained into her hair as he held her tightly. "He told me that you were worried and asked me to come over and wait with you. I know what you're thinking, Clare, but I am sure this is just a misunderstanding."

"That's what I keep trying to tell myself," Clare replied in a shaky voice.

JC pulled back and held her in front of him so that he could look her in the eye. "Maybe she's had a few drinks and ended up on a friend's couch?" He suggested with a small shrug. "It happens."

Clare rolled her eyes at his remark. Does he really think I haven't already considered that? "But how would she get alcohol? She's too young to be served..." She reasoned.

"Then she's probably on campus somewhere with someone who could. Maybe Jenny knows...?"

"I tried calling Jenny. She didn't answer."

As she said this, a voice could be heard calling Clare's name from behind them, and both JC and Clare turned to see Jamie heading up the path towards them. "Lisa just called me," Jamie explained in a slightly breathless voice as she jogged over to them. "She said you couldn't find Libby? That she's disappeared?"

"She didn't come home last night," Clare told her and tried not to react to the look of alarm on Jamie's face.

"That's not like Libby, is it?" Jamie asked as she turned to JC to gauge his reaction to the news. JC glanced quickly at Clare but instead of answering the question he suggested that they all make their way into the apartment instead of standing in the doorway.

"No, it's not like her," Clare told Jamie as the three of them made their way into the living room. She took a seat on the couch and waited for her friends to do the same. "She always calls me when she's not gonna be home."

Jamie reached out to squeeze Clare's hand. "I know it's easy to panic here, Clare, but let's not assume the worst. Is anyone out looking for her?"

Clare nodded sadly. "Justin. He's at the Compound."

"Good," Jamie said as she turned back to JC. "Is there anywhere else we could try?"

"The college campus? Don't they have student guidance people that could help?" he suggested.

As Clare listened to Jamie and JC deciding on their next plan of action, she felt a surge of panic overwhelm her once again and she stared unseeing at the floor. Despite her wishes, she couldn't block thoughts of terror from her mind. "Something's happened," she said in a scared voice.

"No, Clare," Jamie said firmly as she began to frown. "We mustn’t assume that unless we have reason to," she said.

"It has. I know it has, Jam."

JC detected the distress in her voice and pulled her into his lap, where he cradled her against his body. "Come on, we have to stay positive. Justin isn't back yet. For all we know, she might be with him."

"No," Clare mumbled as she sat upright. She searched his eyes desperately as her tears began to fall. "She would've called me. She would've..."

Jamie and JC exchanged a glance before JC pulled his cell–phone out of the pocket in his jacket and checked the time. He calculated back to the time that Libby had last been seen and made a mental note of it. "We need to keep calling the others," he said as Jamie reached out to stroke Clare's hair comfortingly. "We need to determine if she's really missing, or if she just hadn't called."

Hearing the sound of screeching tyres outside on the street, Jamie quickly got up from her place on the couch and headed over to the nearest window, where she saw Justin's car pulling up beside her own. She quickly turned to Clare, who had begun to cry against JC's chest.

"Justin's here," She said hurriedly and spun back around to watch as Justin climbed out of the car. Upon seeing someone sitting in the passenger seat beside him, Jamie squinted to get a better look. "There's someone with him..."

"Is it Libby?" JC asked hopefully and Clare's head shot around to face Jamie.

"Err... no. It's Jenny," she said, and rushed to the front door to let them both inside.

"No, it's Jenny," Jamie said in a disappointed voice and walked to the front door to let Justin and Jenny inside.

As soon as she opened the door, Jamie was struck by how pale and distressed Justin looked and she felt a flash of panic wash over her. He obviously hadn't been able to find Libby at the Compound as he'd been expecting, and the fact that he'd picked Jenny up from the college campus suggested that she hadn't been there either.

Jenny rushed into the apartment and made her way straight over to where Clare was seated. "Clare!" She exclaimed as she crouched down in front of her friend. "Justin told me that Lib's gone missing. Are you okay?"

Clare looked across at Jenny through her tears and let out a sob of despair. "Where is she?" She struggled to ask, but Jenny could only look back at her helplessly. She didn't know.

"Oh, Clare..."

"She wasn't at the Compound?" JC asked Justin as he appeared forlornly in the doorway. JC noticed at once how pale his friend looked, but he put it down to the shock of what was happening sinking in. Justin met JC's eyes and shook his head slowly. JC could see the tension on his friend's face, and he slowly began to feel creeping doubt in his own certainty that everything was going to be okay.

"There's something y'all need to know," Justin muttered hesitantly as his voice broke. "While we were in the car, there was an announcement over the local radio station—"

Clare turned her head towards him and held her breath as she waited for him to tell her the news that she'd begun to dread, and yet expect, at the same time. She felt JC tense beside her as he, too, waited for the news.

"—They said that a young woman had been found by a dog walker last night having been involved in a rock climbing accident. They said she was in her early twenties, was around five foot six with blonde hair. They didn't have any more details, but it could be Libby—"

"We don't know it is," Jenny assured Clare quickly as she turned to look at her friend and squeezed her hand tightly. She tried to sound as confident as possible, but her voice faltered as she said the words.

"Rock climbing?" Clare repeated as she glanced first at Justin, and then at JC. A faint glimmer of hope lit up her face even as her tears continued to fall. "But, that can't be Libby. She doesn't go rock climbing. It must be someone else!"

For a fleeting moment, Clare felt a wash of euphoria overwhelm her and she looked into JC's eyes desperately, willing him to agree with her. JC nodded at her and offered her a weak smile before she flicked her eyes over at Jamie, who smiled back with a similar look of hope on her face.

Then Justin spoke. "It could be her, Clare..." he said weakly.

Clare snapped around to face him, her eyes hardening as she looked at his crestfallen expression. What was he talking about? Why would he say something like that?

"No!" She almost shouted at him. She refused to allow him to dispel her faith that Libby was okay. "I just told you; she doesn't go rock climbing. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard..."

As she said the words, she saw Justin's expression change and all the certainty disappeared from her voice. He hung his head, and she watched in horror as he began to sob, his shoulders shaking with the action.

"She started about a month ago," he said as he struggled to breathe. "She picked up a flyer at college about lessons for beginners... She thought it'd be a good way to clear her head during her exams. She wanted to keep it a secret from everyone, she wanted to surprise y'all."

Clare began to shake her head stubbornly. He was wrong. He had to be wrong. Libby wouldn't keep something like that from her. They told each other everything. Everything!

"No. She'd tell me," she argued, her voice rising in anger. "She wouldn't keep something like that from me." Why would she tell Justin something and not me? I'm her best friend, not him...

Justin let out a shaky breath and looked her straight in the eye. "She was worried people would laugh at her, or that you'd tell her it was a bad idea."

"Of course it's a bad idea!" She spat at him. "And why would she tell you anyway? I'm her best friend! Since when has she told you everything?" She abruptly broke free from JC's arms and rushed over to him. "Why didn't you say something, Justin?" She shouted into his face. "Why didn't you get her to stop?"

Justin hung his head and avoided her eyes as he continued to cry. Jamie immediately crossed the room and placed a comforting arm around his shoulder in an effort to comfort him. He always looked like a little boy when he cried, and she hated seeing him so upset. They still didn't know what had happened to Libby, but it seemed, at least to Justin, that the explanation was already clear. "Hey... it's okay," she said soothingly into his ear but Jamie could tell that his inner turmoil was blocking out her words.

Jamie exchanged a look with JC, who rose from the couch and stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. Things were beginning to unravel quickly, and he realised that he needed to bring back some sort of order—and fast.

"What did the radio say had been done for this woman? I take it she's in the hospital?" JC asked Jenny, who had quickly steered Clare away from Justin and back towards the couch. She was in the process of handing Clare a tissue to dry her eyes when JC spoke.

"Florida Hospital Orlando," Jenny clarified as she looked over at his serious face. "They said that if anyone had any information that might help identify her they should contact the hospital directly."

JC nodded gloomily and paced across the room towards Jamie. Using her elbow he gently steered her towards the window where he could speak to her more privately. Noting the serious look on his face, Jamie realised that he had something to say that the rest of the group—particularly Justin and Clare—wouldn't want to hear.

"I think I should go down to the hospital," he told her in a low voice. "If this young woman is Libby, then the sooner she's identified the better."

"And if it isn't her?" Jamie asked him causing JC to hesitate for a moment. She'd made a good point; there was still a slim chance that Libby could walk through the door at any moment. "Then someone ought to stay here, just in case. I think we should keep calling her friends and family, too. Perhaps someone knows something that might help..."

"I'm sure Jenny wouldn't mind staying with Clare and Justin," Jamie suggested. "Would you like me to go with you?" She was all too aware how upset he would be if he were to discover that Libby was in the hospital and he had no one with him for moral support. Jamie personally hated hospitals, but she was prepared to put herself out of her comfort zone to help a friend.

"I'm going with you," Clare told JC firmly and both him and Jamie stopped mid–conversation to look at her. She stared them down stubbornly. "I mean it. You're not leaving me here."

"Clare, it might not be easy for you—"

"I don't care. If it is Libby then she needs me. That's all I need to know."

JC and Jamie exchanged a look before deciding to bow to Clare's wishes. They both realised that it was pointless to argue with her.

"Me too," Justin said, returning to the conversation now that he'd managed to get his emotions somewhat under control. Clare turned and glowered at him.

"Look, we can't take everyone!" JC said irritably. His patience was waning under the intense pressure he found himself under, and he was unable to stop the words from spilling out. "The hospital won't let crowds of people in. Even if it is Libby, we probably won't be allowed to see her straight away anyway." Or at all, he thought gloomily. If she really has been in a rock climbing accident then I doubt she'll be fit for visitors... He shuddered at the thought.

"It doesn't matter what you think," Justin spat back angrily, "I'm going. You can't stop me." He turned on his heels and without a backwards glance, stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door closed behind him. JC threw his hands up in the air and let out a groan of frustration.

"Fine!" He said through gritted teeth. "I'll drive me, Clare and Justin to the hospital. Jenny? Jamie? Would you mind staying here, please? I promise I'll call you from the hospital if there is any news."

"Of course," Jenny and Jamie said simultaneously, and they turned and offered each other a weak smile.

"We'll keep calling around until we hear from you," Jamie told him as JC went to help Clare get to her feet. Clare was still visibly upset and shaken, but Jamie could tell that the prospect of going to the hospital had given her something to cling on to. Until they knew for sure that it wasn't Libby in the hospital, there was still hope. Hope that Libby was okay, and hope that she'd still turn up somewhere. She'd be in for the telling off of her life, but at least she'd be home and safe.

As she followed them to the door, Jamie reached out a placed a hand on JC's shoulder. He turned his head and glanced at her.

"Drive safe, okay?" She told him and he flashed her a warm smile in return. It was times like this that the affection that they all shared for each other really showed.

"Will do," he assured her. "I'll be in touch."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare stared at the hospital bed willing her eyes not to believe the sight that was before her. The horror of seeing her friend lying there unconscious, her small frame connected to a plethora of machines that all seemed to be making strange, unsettling noises made her feel sick to her stomach.

There were only a few places on Libby's body that weren't covered in wires, or, worse, wrapped in hospital grade bandages that were hiding most of her from view. Only the area around her eyes was visible through the gap in the white cotton that covered most of her face, and Clare was distressed to see that even the skin there was blotched and bruised.

Libby's right arm was strung up in a sling that was hanging from a metal contraption in the ceiling—presumably to keep it elevated—and both her legs were uncovered from the knees down to allow the large cuts and weeping grazes that covered the best part of her shins to heal.

As she looked at her friend, Clare felt the bile begin to rise in her throat and she willed herself to get a grip and not be sick. Hot tears flowed silently down her cheeks as she watched the ventilator that Libby was hooked up to hiss and click as it managed her breathing for her.

All through the twenty minute journey to the hospital, Clare had imagined how it would be if the young woman who'd had the accident turned out to be Libby. But, even the worst case scenario that she'd considered in her head paled in reality to the sight before her. Standing beside her, both Justin and JC were silent as they, too, tried to absorb the reality of what was happening.

"Lib?" Clare managed to sob, and the pathetic sound of her voice caused more tears to flow from her eyes. Was this really her Libby? Libby who was usually so full of life, fight and attitude? She couldn't relate the memories of her energetic friend with the vision before of her.

As she stood staring, Clare became aware that beside her, Justin's legs and arms had begun to visibly shake, and she turned to look at him in concern. Since being directed to the room by one of the hospital nurses, Justin's eyes had never left Libby's still body, and the expression on his face made Clare fight back a gut wrenching sob. He looked utterly and completely horrified.

Clare immediately began to feel sorry for having shouted at him back at the apartment when she saw the look of vulnerability and devastation on his face. After all, twenty–four hours hadn't passed since he'd been running along the beach with her draped over his shoulder.

The memory made Clare's insides ache with regret and despair, and she grasped at JC's hand for support. He squeezed back and met her eyes for the first time, revealing to her the tears that he'd been silently shedding for their friend.

"It's her..." he said in a broken, tearful voice and Clare felt her heart begin to break all over again.

Is there someone you know? / Loving them so / Taking them all for granted? / You may lose them one day / Someone takes them away / And they don't hear the words / You long to say

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Clare stood clutching JC's hand, she heard a gentle tap on the door, and a short, middle aged man entered the room before introducing himself.

"I'm Doctor Greene. I hear you may be able to help identify our Jane Doe?" He said kindly as his eyes flicked between Justin, JC and finally settled on Clare.

"Yes," Clare said quietly. "Her name is Libby... Err, Elizabeth. Elizabeth Armstrong. But she prefers to be called Libby."

Dr. Greene nodded politely and walked over to the foot of Libby's bed, where her medical details were hanging on a metal clipboard. He retrieved a plastic ball point pen from his shirt pocket and scribbled Libby's name at the top of the first form, where the patient's name had previously been left blank. Clare swallowed audibly as she saw her friend's name written in black and white, tying her conclusively to the woman lying still in the bed.

The doctor turned back to Clare and for the first time she noticed the sympathy in his eyes. "Are you family? Friends?" He asked before flicking his eyes to Justin, who had now begun to silently cry. "Boyfriend, maybe?"

"We're her friends," Clare replied numbly as she turned to stare at Libby's motionless body. She didn't see the fleeting look of hurt that crossed Justin's face at her words. To him, it didn't seem enough to simply label them as her friends. They were more to her than that; they had practically become her family. It dawned on him then that he might never get another chance to tell her how he really felt about her. The thought sucked the air out of his lungs and he bit down hard onto his tongue to stop himself from screaming.

"I'm sorry to say that Libby here has been the victim of a nasty climbing accident. Some of her injuries are rather serious, I'm afraid, particularly her head injury, but we have been able to stabilise her. As to her other injuries, she has an assortment of broken fingers, a shattered arm and several other lacerations and bruises. All of these are very common in this type of trauma." He paused and regarded them carefully to see whether they had understood and were able to absorb the information that he was giving them.

"Brain injury?" Clare managed to ask in a strangled voice. No one has said anything about a brain injury until now. Is that why she's so still?

"I'm afraid it seems that your friend had a direct impact between her skull and the rock face. Now, we don't know everything until we have the results from her C.A.T scan that was taken this morning, but in the meantime, we've placed her in a medically induced coma to help reduce any swelling on her brain. We've managed to treat her other injuries, such as her arm, but like I say, until I have the results from her scan I really can't give you much more of a prognosis."

Justin balked at the word, and for a moment Clare thought that he was going to run from the room. Instead, he sucked in a deep breath and seemed to rally. He forced himself to tear his eyes away from Libby and looked the doctor square in the eye. "By prognosis you mean survival, right?"

"Like I said, I wish I could tell you more, but I'm reluctant to say anything until I have the results from the scan. All I will say is that the first few hours after an accident like this are crucial; your friend has been very lucky to have made it this far."

Clare sucked in a breath and stared up at JC's shocked face. The doctor's words had hardly been reassuring, and she realised for the first time how close Libby had—and still was—to dying.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Jamie hung up the phone and turned to face Jenny, who had been standing next to her during the entire phone call. She'd been trying to overhear the conversation between Jamie and JC, but had only managed to catch a few words. What she had heard was enough to send her pulse racing and her heart into her mouth. The expression on Jamie's face convinced her that the news wasn't good.

"It was Libby," Jamie said numbly, and she turned to look out of the window as she tried to absorb the shocking news.

JC had been brief and blunt over the phone as he'd explained to her that the woman in the hospital had been Libby, and that she was in critical condition in the I.C.U. Jamie could barely believe it, but for the fact that she knew that JC would never lie to her.

"I can't believe it," she said as she turned to meet Jenny's wide, horrified eyes.

"What do we do?" Jenny asked her face pale with shock.

Jamie blinked several times as she tried to clear her thoughts enough to decide what it was that she was supposed to do next. She'd been so hopeful that the woman in the hospital wouldn't be Libby that she hadn't prepared a plan of action in case it turned out that it was.

"We need to tell the others," she said eventually as she fished her cell–phone out of her jacket pocket. "Do you have your cell? We need to let everyone know what's happened. I'll start with Libby's family... you start with everyone she knows from work."

~~~~~*~~~~~

After the doctor had left the room, JC, Clare and Justin fell into silence; each lost in their own thoughts.

JC was the first one to speak. He politely excused himself from the room on the pretence of needing to call Jamie to update her on the news, and tripped over his feet in his rush to get out of the room.

Once he was gone, Clare felt his absence immediately and her eyes once again flicked over to her motionless friend. She needed to get closer but there was something holding her back; fear, maybe. She sucked in a deep breath and forced her feet to move forward. A few steps later and she was at Libby's side, staring down at her pale, bruised face.

Now that she'd spent some time in the room, the sound of the machines were less upsetting to her and Clare had begun to dismiss their alien noises as simply background noise. However, she feared that seeing her friend in such a state might never become easier. Letting out a deep breath that she hadn't realised that she'd been holding, Clare peered down at Libby's face, focusing her attention on the area around her eyes where—despite the bruising—she still looked the most like herself.

"Lib?" Clare called for the first time as her voice cracked. For a moment she felt as though Libby would open her eyes at any second and look at her, but she soon felt foolish for thinking it. For nothing changed, and Libby's face remained frozen as the machines continued to click and hiss around her.

Clare stared at her friend in horror as the tears began to stream down her face. Lib...

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

JC returned ten minutes later carrying three polystyrene cups containing strong, black coffee. He handed one each to Clare and Justin and told them to drink, ignoring their protestations that neither of them liked black coffee.

"It'll help, I promise," he assured them as he took a sip from his own cup.

Clare eyed him carefully over the rim of her cup as she took a sip and cringed as the bitter drink scalded her tongue. Normally, she put so much milk in her coffee that it was practically lukewarm before she had a chance to drink it. As she considered his assurance that the drink would help revive her, Clare couldn't help but bitterly think about how wrong he'd already been so far that day.

After all, hadn't he been the one assuring her earlier that morning that Libby would be fine? It'd been the first thing he'd said to her when he'd turned up unexpectedly at her door; 'she's fine. I know it!' She narrowed her eyes and took another more careful sip.

As Clare continued to think bitterly about how wrong he'd been, JC seemed to detect the change in her mood and glanced at her with concerned eyes. He was still feeling pretty shaken from the revelation that Libby was in the hospital, and his conversation with Jamie hadn't been easy, to say the least. He was trying his best to keep it together—for Clare and Justin's sake—but he was aware of the jittery tension that was building in his gut. It wouldn't take a lot for him to lose control of his emotions and break down.

Clare immediately averted her gaze as he met her eyes and a feeling of shame washed over her. This isn't his fault, she told herself. I shouldn't be thinking such horrible thoughts about him. After all, he'd been incredibly strong and supportive so far, especially during the excruciatingly tense drive to the hospital; when neither Clare, nor Justin, had said or done anything other than stare unseeingly out of the car windows, lost to their own dark thoughts. He'd been the one trying to assure them not to give up hope.

Clare smiled weakly at the thought and she turned her head in the hopes of being able to offer him a grateful—and slightly apologetic—smile. However, she found that he'd already made his way towards her and was in the process of wrapping a comforting arm around her waist as he joined her at her side. Despite all that was happening, Clare was surprised to find that she still felt a flutter when he touched her. She allowed him to pull her gently towards his body and she let out an unhappy sigh as her eyes once again settled on Libby.

"Are you okay?" JC whispered into her ear as he placed his cheek on top of her head and glanced at Libby. He felt his insides clench at the sight of her motionless body; it was so unusual to see her so still.

"I don't know," Clare answered honestly in a shaky voice. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. Other than wishing that it was me in that bed instead of her."

JC lifted his head and kissed her hair. "You mustn't think like that, Clare," he told her. "We must keep strong for Libby. All of us."

"But I need her..." Clare whimpered, and she felt him squeeze her body tighter to his in response. "She's like my little sister, Josh. I can't not have her in my life..."

A clicking sound from behind them startled Clare, and she spun around in JC's arms to face the doorway just as a familiar face pulled the door closed behind her. At once Clare felt a feeling of relief wash over her.

"If I know Libby—and I do—she won't be in that bed for long," Justin's mom said as she momentarily met Clare's eyes before glancing over at her son. Justin's head had snapped to attention at the unexpected sound of her voice and his face crumpled as he stumbled towards her waiting, open arms.

"Jenny rang me," Lynn explained as she wrapped her arms around Justin's trembling body and rested her head against his. For a moment she closed her eyes as the sound of her son's sobs cut straight through to her heart and when she opened them again to glance at Clare and JC, her eyes were shiny with tears. "She told me what had happened, and I thought I'd come straight over and see if there was anything I could do."

Clare nodded silently in understanding and looked helplessly at Justin's back as he continued to sob. She had forgotten during the confusion and horror of the situation that besides herself he was the closest person to Libby. And, although she didn't like to admit it, it was very likely that he was suffering just as much—if not more—than she was.

Lynn pulled away slightly to look Justin in the eyes and he looked at her helplessly as his tears continued to fall. She searched his face and reached up to cup his cheeks in her hands.

"Baby..." she said soothingly as he squeezed his eyes shut causing more tears to flow down his cheeks. The grief of the situation was clearly overwhelming him and Clare felt embarrassed to be witnessing such a private moment. She'd only seen Justin cry a few times—most notably when he'd broken his thumb on stage—and he always looked like a little boy when he cried. It was usually pretty harrowing to see him upset.

"Baby, it's going to be okay," Lynn said as she pulled him back into her arms and squeezed him tight. For the first time, her eyes flicked over to Libby's bed and her voice caught in her throat as she tried not to let her feelings show on her face. "She'll get through this. She'll soon be back on her feet giving you hell again, you'll see."

Clare gave Lynn a half–hearted smile at the thought and glanced up at JC to see his reaction. He too braved a smile. Clare could tell that they were all thinking the same thing—the next time they heard Libby saying something, anything—would be a pretty emotional moment.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

Libby lay frozen in the hospital bed.

Despite her efforts to communicate her wishes, her body refused to cooperate to her commands, and she found—to her horror—that she was unable to open her eyes, or move any of her limbs at all. She could hear the muffled voices of her friends in the distance, but when she tried to move her lips to speak nothing happened. Even her breathing felt strange to her—as though she had no control over it.

As she struggled to fight the terror that threatened to overwhelm her, Libby tried to remember back to her last known movements in an attempt to make some sort of sense out of the situation. All she could remember was that she'd been upset and that she'd decided to go climbing...

+ + +

She'd been doing well, despite having a few slips at the start before her body was limber enough to attempt the slightly harder footholds higher up. She'd decided to ignore her tutor's warning that only experienced climbers go out alone without a spotter, as she'd decided to return to an old haunt, where she'd had her first lesson in the skill of rock climbing. She rarely ignored her tutor’s instructions, but figured that as she was climbing in an area that she knew well and had climbed before, she wasn't technically breaking any rules. It could be argued that she was simply practicing, which she'd been told to do.

She'd only been climbing for around a month, but she had made lots of improvements in that time; even though she hadn't initially been convinced by her tutor's praise. She'd only taken up rock climbing as her guidance counsellor at college had suggested that she try a new hobby that would get her outside and give her a break from studying.

At first she'd been hesitant, but after discussing it with Justin—the only person she'd told—she'd thrown herself into it and become something of an addict. She'd soon discovered that she couldn't worry about her problems while she was climbing, and the buzz she received when she reached one of her targets gave her such a thrill that she was buzzing for days afterwards. It was knackering, of course, but worthwhile, she thought.

She'd been stretching to connect herself to the next hook when she missed making contact with the rock, and consequently over stretched, losing her footing. As the shock and adrenaline sent her heart racing, she found herself shaken to the core by the sensation of incredible speed. Her brain barely had time to process the fact that she'd made a mistake before she'd fallen a considerable distance down the rock face.

As her mind struggled to keep up with her external velocity, she found herself reasoning that she must be falling due to the hook that she'd attached herself to having become dislodged. Telling herself to stop thinking about why she was falling and do something to stop herself getting hurt, she glanced down as she neared the bottom of the rock formation.

The wind howled in her ears as she reached her hands out, at first unsuccessfully and then again in an attempt to snatch at the cables that were swinging around her. She managed to catch one of the wires only momentarily before it was whipped out of her hand, ripping through her fingers as she tried to keep hold of it. The searing pain assured her that she had at least one, if not two, broken fingers.

As she realised the true horror of her situation—that she was about to implant into the rocks below her—she tried to remember the tips that her tutor had taught her should such a rare occasion occur. She tried to twist her body into a better position for landing, protecting her head over her limbs, but her body couldn't resist the force of the wind that her fall was creating; making her unable to twist her body away from the rocks.

As she attempted to turn again, she suddenly felt an incredible force jolting her around the waist. Immediately, the breath was sucked out of her lungs as she absorbed the blow. For a moment she was no longer falling, and she felt a feeling of euphoric relief wash over her as she realised that she wasn't going to hit the rock face after all. She was hanging upside down and still couldn't reach any of the cables to be able to right herself, but at least she wasn't splattered against the rocks below.

Turning her body so that her head was parallel with the rock face, she reached out her arm letting the rope swing her slightly to the side as she tried to grasp the cables. Missing the first time, she used her stomach muscles to swing her away from the rock and then back towards the cables, where she reached out her good hand stretching her fingers as far as she could. This was her chance, she knew. If she could just grab the cables then there was a chance that she could walk away from this.

It wasn't to be. As she swung her body for the second time, she felt a twang in the rope and looked up just in time to see a second hook become dislodged. This is the reason you aren't meant to climb alone, she told herself ruefully. It had nothing to do with the climbing and everything to do with placing the safety hooks.

This time, as she began to fall and the beach below rushed up to meet her, she did manage to snatch one of the cables; but it was already too late. She was jolted again, this time much more sharply, and she found herself spinning around and bouncing against the hold of the rope. Realising that her spin was going to send her crashing towards the rock wall with incredible force, Libby sucked in a breath, hoping that it would help her with the no doubt searing pain that she would feel when her soft body came in contact with the unyielding rock face.

She tried to raise her arms out in front of her, hoping that she might somehow be able to push away from the wall as the rope sent her towards it, but the two jolts on her spine had affected her central nervous system, and she was having trouble communicating with the nerves in her arm. She was able to raise her arms but too slow for it to do any good. As she spun, one minute facing the wall and the other the ocean, she began to feel the effects of the motion on her brain, and she squeezed her eyes shut to clear her head. Opening them again she realised for the first time that the spin could send her crashing into the wall with the back of her skull, which was far more dangerous than face forward.

Unable to react or do anything to stop herself, Libby hit the uneven surface hard with her right side, and felt an immediate pain shoot throughout her whole body. Her arm took the brunt of the impact. As she bounced back from the collision and continued to spin, her head snapped back and she hit the wall again; the right side of her head suffering a substantial blow.

The pure agony that swept through her body at that moment was unbearable, but she had no choice but to go through it. She had shattered her arm—that she was certain. Bone went into nerve and set her blood to burning. She'd already screamed intentionally hoping to draw attention to her plight, but there was no one within ear shot to hear her.

Tears poured down her cheeks as she pleaded and swore at God to release her from the pain and let her slip into unconsciousness. Anything would be better than what she'd already suffered.

She hung there—writhing—for maybe five minutes of torture before she started to get a hold of herself. She realised that she had to remain calm, no matter what. She was badly hurt, that was for sure. She had broken her arm and most likely had a serious concussion; she could even feel the blood dripping down the side of her face, but she was conscious, and more importantly, alive. If she could just hold on until someone found her... She'd survived the fall and already the rope was beginning to settle and stop spinning. If she could just hold on long enough...

And then, all of a sudden, she realised that she could no longer hear the sound of the waves, or feel the pain in her arm or head. An uneasy feeling of numbness overwhelmed her, and not too long after her eyesight began to fail. She let go of the feeling of holding on and allowed the sweet darkness to take her.

+ + +

The ECG monitor started to beep frantically, and Justin shot to his feet from where he'd been sitting in the hard plastic chair beside Libby's bed. Ten minutes had passed since Justin's mother, Lynn, had arrived, and after managing to comfort her son enough for him to stop crying, she'd suggested that he take a seat and try to calm down. Watching him standing there trembling was too much for everyone to bear.

"What's happening? What's beeping?" He asked in a panic as he turned to JC with wide eyes. He, too, looked just as concerned as he was. "I didn't touch anything, I swear!"

JC jogged across the room and hit the red button that was pegged onto the side of Libby's bed. They'd been told that it was there for them to use if they needed the attention of any of the doctor or nurses, but, by the time he'd pressed it, an alarm had already triggered at the nurses' station outside. The head nurse for the department burst into the room and both he and Justin stared at her in fear as she rushed to Libby's side.

"It just started beeping," Justin heard JC tell the nurse as she bent over Libby and stared intensely at the monitor. She pressed several buttons on the ECG machine—silencing the beeping straight away—and studied the peaks and dips that the monitor had recorded. There was an awful silence in the room for several minutes before she straightened up and turned around to face them.

"It's nothing worry about, boys," she said gently as she offered them a kind smile. "It's just a little brain activity that's affected her heart rate. That's a good sign."

"Phew," JC muttered in relief as he exchanged a look with Justin. He'd encouraged Clare to step outside for a moment with Lynn to get some fresh air, and as soon as the machine had begun to make a noise he'd panicked that he might have made a mistake. He didn't know very much about hospitals, but he realised that Libby was in a very serious condition. He knew that Clare would never forgive herself—or him—if she wasn't there for Libby if she took a turn for the worse.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare sat on the grass in the small memorial garden at the side of the hospital building with Lynn by her side. They were both holding polystyrene cups of steaming hot coffee from the hospital cafeteria, but neither of them had yet taken a sip. Clare let out a deep sigh and glanced up at the bright blue sky above her head.

"Why is it that such terrible things happen on such beautiful days?" She asked Lynn as she closed her eyes and let the sun's rays warm her face. It was a small degree of comfort to her and she immediately felt bad for allowing herself to enjoy it. After all, it seemed wrong to be soaking up the sunshine when Libby was trapped—literally—indoors. "You know, if Lib were awake right now she'd be complaining about being cooped up inside on a lovely day like this."

Lynn looked at Clare's strained face and offered her a sympathetic smile. "She loves to be outside," she agreed.

Clare glanced down at the grass by her legs as tears began to form in her eyes, and she pulled a few blades of grass free from the soil. Avoiding Lynn's eyes, she asked the question that she hadn't yet dare utter aloud. "She's going to get through this, isn't she?"

Lynn silently reached out to pull Clare into an embrace. The gesture caused the tears that had been threatening to spill to flow down Clare's cheeks, and she soon found herself sobbing against the older woman's shoulder.

"It's okay, honey," Lynn said soothingly as she stroked Clare's hair with her hand. "Just let it all out."

"I'm supposed to be the strong one," Clare argued with a sob. "I'm the one who's supposed to hold it all together."

"And who's gonna be strong for you, Clare?" Lynn asked her as she held her tighter. "Sometimes it's okay to let go. It's better for you than trying to keep it all in."

"But my best friend is in a coma in the hospital! I shouldn't be thinking about me. She's in there and there's nothing that I can do about it. I didn't even know she'd been in an accident! She must have been so scared..."

Lynn pulled Clare closer and said nothing. She simply held Clare close and allowed her to cry it all out. She knew that there was nothing that she could say to make things any better; they'd all simply have to wait and see and hope that Libby would pull through.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Flashes of light chased each other silently across the screen on the ECG monitor beside Libby's bed. The peaks and troughs of their spiky green wakes seemed to become less frequent as Clare watched them, but there was no cause for panic.

In the past twenty–four hours she'd learned that changes in the pace of the monitor were quite normal. For her, however, the only change that she wished to see was for her friend to regain consciousness.

You got wires, goin' in / You got wires, comin' out of your skin / You got tears, makin' tracks / I got tears that are scared of the facts / Runnin' down corridors through automatic doors / Got to get to you, got to see this through / I see hope is here, in a plastic box / I've seen Christmas lights, reflect in your eyes..

 

At regular intervals the nurses arrived to do routine checks and note down the progress of the monitors. They were silent as they worked, and Clare could detect nothing in their faces that gave her confidence that Libby was doing okay.

 

After their arrival at the hospital, Clare had been asked to fill in a lot of paperwork on behalf of Libby as her next of kin. Fortunately, Libby's parents had been adamant that she get herself health insurance if she moved to the States, so Clare had no need to worry about how Libby's treatment would be paid for.

The hospital had been very kind and sympathetic to all of them, but whilst out of the earshot of the others, Clare had been politely asked to note the hospital's rules on the number of visitors in a patient’s room at one time. She'd had the uncomfortable task of having to tell her friends that from now on, only two visitors at a time would be welcomed into the ICU during set visiting hours.

Needless to say, Justin hadn't taken the news well; and his selfish attitude had rubbed Clare up the wrong way. Consequently, they'd had a big falling out. Only JC interrupting and telling them that Libby's care and well–being was the priority—and not their own selfish desires to spend time with her—had put a stop to their bickering. Once they'd calmed down, they'd managed to fairly divide the visiting times between them all so that each person got to spend time one–on–one with Libby without anyone feeling left out or hard done by.

Lynn had been an absolute rock and had somehow managed to convince Justin to head home and get some rest. How she'd done it, Clare had had no idea, but she'd been grateful for someone having being able to get through to him. Since their argument she'd found it a lot harder to talk to him without getting irate and, consequently, she'd been somewhat avoiding him since then. It wasn't that she wanted to be angry with him; it was just that with their already heightened nerves they just couldn't seem to be in the same room without winding each other up the wrong way.

You got wires, goin' in / You got wires, comin' out of your skin / There's dry blood on your wrist / Your dry blood on my fingertip / Runnin' down corridors through automatic doors / Got to get to you, got to see this through / First night of your life, curled up on your own / Lookin' at you now, you would never know...

 

Clare gazed miserably across at her friend as she sat alone during her visit the next morning. She couldn't believe that it was nearly forty–eight hours since she'd seen her friend conscious. It felt more like weeks.

She'd had a fitful night of sleep and had rushed out of the apartment early to get away from what had felt like a vacuum of silence. As she'd arrived at the hospital way too early for visiting hours, she'd sat in her car with the radio on full blast to stop her from thinking. Even now as she sat in Libby's hospital room she could hear the ringing in her ears from having listened to the music too loud in such a confined space.

Now that she was here, she found herself completely lost for words, despite feeling full to bursting with things that she wanted to say. It didn't seem right to speak to Libby as freely as she had only a few days before. She wasn't sure if she shouldn't hide her feelings and dark thoughts from her friend just in case they affected her recovery. How much could a person in a coma really hear and understand, anyway? At the same time, could she really sit there in silence and say nothing to the person that she usually told everything?

No. I can't. What good is me being here if I don't say anything?

Fighting the stifling silence in the room, Clare decided to simply give voice to the words that were pressing deeply on her heart.

"Why'd you go climbing, Lib?" She asked in barely more than a whisper. "I miss you." She paused and regarded Libby's face, still hoping for a reaction. Of course, she received none.

Despite the fact that she knew better, Clare still expected her friend to turn to her and speak, or laugh, or even just smirk as though the whole thing had been a big joke. Clare would scream blue murder at her, of course, but she'd still hold her tight in her arms and cry. It'd be the worst practical joke that Libby would ever have pulled, and yet Clare wished that it was the case.

"It's funny..." Clare continued as she smiled weakly, "...I've never actually told you how much you mean to me, have I? I guess we never really needed to say the words; we both just knew." She glanced at Libby's twisted and bruised arm and felt a lump rise in her throat.

"Seeing you like this had made me think about all the things we've done, and all the things we were planning to do. There was so much wasted time, wasn't there, Lib." Clare took a deep breath and fought back a sob. "Why didn't I take more time and notice things when I had the chance? If I'd have known... If someone had told me that the next time I'd see you would be like this... I'd have never let you leave, Libby."

Clare reached out and tentatively slipped the fingers of one hand into Libby's palm. She felt warm and normal to the touch, but her hand remained limp even when Clare wrapped her fingers around it.

"My heart's breaking—" Clare whispered with a trembling voice as she looked back at Libby's face once more. "—thinking about all the times you put your arms around me and said I was your best friend. You'd always find a way of secretly smiling at me when you found something funny that you knew I would laugh at too; or when I was upset, and you knew that you could make me smile. You always bought a smile to my face, Lib."

Clare sniffed and wiped her free hand across the bottom of her nose. "I need you to do something for me though, Lib. I've never asked you to do anything for me before, but I need you to open your eyes now. You can't imagine how terrible we all feel without you. We need you back so open your eyes. Please... please..."

She stared at her friend's face for a full five minutes; willing, praying and begging Libby to open her eyes. When after all that time she still didn't receive a reaction, Clare turned her eyes to the ceiling and squeezed them shut sending more tears running down her cheeks.

Please, God. Please, please, please don't take her from me. I love her too much, and she's not ready; it's not her time. Please. I won't ever ask you for anything more important than this. Don't take my friend from me.

~~~~~*~~~~~
Justin walked into the hospital room dragging his feet, his usually sunny exterior completely altered. His eyes were red from the crying that he'd been doing, and he felt as though a huge pressure had been added to his shoulders.

He looked straight over at Libby's bed as he entered the room, still hoping against hope that she would miraculously be awake; but his stomach sank with disappointment when he saw her looking just as still and small as she'd been the last time he'd visited.

Noticing that Clare was holding one of her hands, Justin fought to urge to rush over and check that she hadn't inadvertently nudged one of the many tubes that were attached to Libby's hands, chest and face. He knew that it was probably ridiculously neurotic of him, but he didn't want anyone to have any contact with Libby without him being there to ensure that she wouldn't be harmed.

The first sight of her vulnerable and battered body had filled him with the ferocity of a lion to keep her safe against all odds. It didn't matter to him who he may, or may not, offend in the process; he wasn't going to let anyone hurt Libby again—ever.

He crossed the room in a few short strides and in as soft a voice as he could manage, he called Clare's name. It was only when he nudged her gently on the shoulder and she jumped at his touch that he realised that she'd been asleep.

"It's me," he said as she turned her head to look at him, clearly feeling disoriented.

"Is it that time already?" Clare asked as she glanced back over at Libby. Already she was feeling guilty that she'd fallen asleep, and even worse that Justin had been there to witness it.

"Yeah, Jamie's outside to take you home," Justin said as his own eyes wandered over to Libby's face.

Clare stood up out of the seat and offered him a weak smile. "Thanks. I'll see you later, I guess." Before leaving she leaned over Libby's body and kissed her softly on the forehead. Justin bit down hard on his tongue to stop himself from protesting. He knew that it would only make him look like a jerk, and would probably be the catalyst for another showdown between him and Clare.

"I'll see you later, Lib. Keep strong, okay?"

As tears formed in her eyes, Clare forced herself to walk away and leave Libby alone with Justin. He watched her leave the room and felt an ache develop in the pit of his stomach at how forlorn she looked. He wanted so badly to say something to comfort her, but he literally had no words. He knew that there was nothing that anyone could say to him to make him feel better, and that the same would be true for Clare.

Only Libby had the power to do that.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Once she had gone, Justin sat in Clare's vacant seat and looked solemnly across at Libby. He could barely recognise her in the still, motionless woman in front of him. He couldn't remember a time when she hadn't had a smile for him; even when he was doing everything in his power to irritate the hell out of her. She never seemed to be able to stop smiling, even when he knew that he'd gotten under her skin and she wanted to punch him. She didn't have a smile for him tonight, though.

With despair, he realised that it could be a long time—if ever—before he saw her lovely smile once again.

Where do we go from here? / This isn't where we intended to be / We had it all, you believed in me / I believed in you / Certainties disappear / What do we do for our dreams to survive? / How do we keep all our passions alive? / As we used to do?'

 

They had become so close in the last few months. Hell, only a few days ago he'd finally decided to admit his feelings for her. How different things might have been had his plans worked out. If only...

He could hardly believe that he'd already made it through forty–eight hours without her. It had felt more like forty–eight years. And he couldn't bare thinking about how he'd cope if she stayed in the coma for days... weeks... months.

He angrily pushed aside the thought that she might never recover. He wouldn't even allow himself to consider the possibility. She wouldn't, because she couldn't. He couldn't allow her to leave him. He needed her too much.

He pushed the thought from his head as soon as the idea of her never recovering flashed through his mind. He wouldn't allow himself to even consider the thought of her dying. She wouldn't, because she couldn't. He couldn't allow her to leave him; he needed her too much.

'Deep in my heart I'm concealing / Things that I'm longing to say / Scared to confess what I'm feeling / Frightened you'll slip away / You must love me / You must love me...

 

Any success that he might have in the future would be nothing to him without having Libby in his life. It didn't even matter to him if they continued balancing on the brink of a relationship for years to come; all that mattered to him in that moment was that she survive. He would never ask anything else of her again—or take another moment of their time together for granted—if she came back to him.

Why are you at my side? / How can I be any use to you now? / Give me a chance and I'll let you see how / Nothing has changed / Deep in my heart I'm concealing / Things that I'm longing to say / Scared to confess what I'm feeling / Frightened you'll slip away...

 

"Okay, Snipes," Justin said as he leaned forward to balance his elbows on his knees and peered intensely at her face. "You've had your fun. Please, wake up now." He sat and waited for her to open her eyes and look at him. "You always were a joker, Lib. But it ain't funny no more, open your eyes."

He glanced down at her hand as it lay flat and still against the mattress, expecting any second to see it twitch and flex as she came to.

"Come on... You've only banged your arm and legs up a little. Stop milking it, you're not really that hurt."

The clicking and whirring of the machines was the only sound as they continued to do their job of maintaining her breathing and monitoring her vitals. Justin watched her face for another long minute as the reality once again began to sink in. He was wrong. She was, in fact, very badly hurt. He placed his head in his hands and began to cry once again.

You must love me / You must love me...

~~~~~*~~~~~

As he sat in the hard chair, Justin let his imagination fill in the spaces in his head that were screaming out for Libby.

He could still picture the furious expression that she'd had on her face that night on the beach when he'd sent her flying over his shoulder into the ocean. And the way she'd screamed and play lunged at him as he'd fallen backwards onto her bed with soaking wet clothes on. Even the time she'd chased him three times around the perimeter of the Compound swimming pool after he'd threatened to reveal her guilty crush—Ricky Martin—to the rest of *NSYNC.

Her personality had changed completely from the shy, quiet young girl he'd met almost two years ago into the mouthy, bossy and vivacious young woman he'd come to love.

He had so many memories of their time together but it still didn't seem enough. A lifetime of memories with her would never be enough. Although he'd always secretly known it he was certain now; he loved her. And there was nothing that would be able to convince him otherwise. He only hoped that one day he'd get a chance to tell her.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

Clare sat on the couch in her and Libby's apartment and carelessly flicked on the TV using the remote. The apartment seemed very empty without Libby, and although the younger woman had recently spent a lot of her evenings in her room studying, Clare had still been aware of her presence.

Now the silence in the rooms was deafening, and she hoped that the television might at least make some background noise; even if she couldn't focus on what was happening on the screen.

As she sat there, her mind was consumed with thoughts of her friend...

+ + +

Libby dropped the cardboard box full of her VHS collection that she'd been carrying into the apartment as soon as she was over the threshold. It clattered to the floor spilling some of its contents, causing Clare—who was unpacking one of her own boxes in the living room—to jump in alarm. Libby, however, was completely unaware. She was already rushing along the hall towards the first of the closed bedroom doors to choose which she wanted for her own.

Clare laughed joyfully as she watched her friend explore the apartment for the first time. It wasn't new to her like it was to Libby. She'd travelled over to the States a month before to arrange job interviews and find them both an apartment to rent, but she relished the excitement on her friend's face as she tried to take it all in.

Back in England, Libby had lived with her parents, and so sharing an apartment with Clare was exciting all by itself. That, combined with the fact that they were thousands of miles away from home, just added to her glee.

"These bedrooms are huge!" Libby exclaimed from inside one of the rooms and Clare padded up the hallway and peeped her head around the doorframe to find Libby lying in the middle of the empty room, making invisible snow angels with her arms and legs on the carpet.

"Oh, this bedroom is definitely mine," she beamed at Clare as she sat upright. "I just know I'm going to like it here!"

+ + +

Clare sat and smiled at the memory before she found herself fighting back tears once again. Libby's face had been a picture that day, and that had been before Clare had mentioned about the jobs that she had lined up for them. Feeling the ache in her stomach once again threaten to consume her, Clare wrapped her arms tightly around herself, hoping that it might help to keep her heart from breaking apart.

She was brought back to earth by a gentle knocking on the front door and she glanced at the digital display on the television to read the time. It was a little after eight in the evening and she let out a groan at the thought. Is it really so early?

She'd been home from the hospital since about three that afternoon and as it was a Saturday and she wasn't scheduled to work, she'd spent most of the time when she hadn't been at the hospital wandering aimlessly around the mall.

Since coming home she'd been unable to do anything but sit and stare at the walls, or—as was the case now—the television. Her time at the hospital had seemed to fly by and yet, now that she was home, every second seemed an eternity. She felt as though she were living in an alternate universe where everyone else's lives were carrying on whilst she was living through Groundhog Day. She couldn't imagine how she would adapt to her new 'normal' if Libby were to remain in hospital long term.

Dragging her feet over to the front door, she unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door to find JC standing there with a plastic carrier bag full of Chinese takeout packages in his arms. Clare stared at him for a moment, too mentally drained to ask him what he was doing, and decided to simply leave the door open while she made her way back inside. JC didn't hesitate to follow her.

"How you doin'?" he asked as he followed her into the kitchen where she'd gone to get herself a glass of water. The smell of the food made Clare feel sick, but she didn't want to upset him by refusing his offer. She knew that he'd only argue that she needed to eat properly to keep her strength up. Not that she considered Chinese takeout 'proper' food.

"I wish people would stop asking me that!" She said moodily as she took a glass from a cupboard above the worktop and headed over to the sink to fill it from the faucet. She turned back around to face him and took a swig of the water. "I'm not the one dying in hospital," She said angrily and slammed the glass down hard onto the counter, sending some of the water flying up the side of the glass and onto her hand. She wiped her hand along the side of her jeans and stared down coldly at the floor. Even saying the words out loud filled her with anguish and she bit down hard onto her tongue to force herself not to cry.

JC said nothing but walked across the room and pulled her tightly into his arms. The comfort of his hold made her want to nuzzle into his chest but she wouldn't allow herself. She kept thinking of Libby, who might never again feel the closeness of a hug.

"She's not dying, Clare," JC said firmly after a few minutes of silence. Clare listened to his words, but she knew as well as he did that there was no way that he could know that for sure. She wanted to say the words out loud, but it felt as though she would somehow be letting Libby down if she did so.

"What will I do without her?" Clare whispered into JC's chest as he continued to hold her close.

"I hope you don't have to find out."

"But I already am," she said and pulled away slightly so that she could look up into his face. "This whole place is empty without her. It's just not the same..."

JC didn't know what to say. Clare was right; the atmosphere in the apartment had noticeably changed, but he put it down to the fact that everyone was still simply shocked and upset by what had happened. He hadn't considered until that moment that Clare would have to return every night that Libby was absent to an empty apartment.

He wondered whether he should talk to Jamie about asking one of the girls to move in but he wondered how Clare might take that. She could easily misinterpret it as them trying to replace Libby, which of course they would never do.

He pushed the thought to the back of his mind to consider later. Right now he needed to concentrate one–hundred percent on Clare. He couldn't do anything to take away her pain, but he was certainly going to try to be the most supportive, comforting friend that he could be for as long as she needed him.

Under the water you scream so loud / But the silence surrounds you / But I hear it loud when you fall in the deep / And I'll always find you / If my red eyes don't see you anymore / And I can't hear you through the white noise / Just send your heartbeat I'll go to the blue ocean floor / Where they find us no more / On that blue ocean floor...

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare woke with a start from a deep but unsatisfying sleep to the sound of her alarm clock beeping. JC lay beside her still dressed in the clothes that he'd been wearing the day before as he'd been unwilling to leave her even just to head back to his place to pick up some overnight things. Clare had felt deeply touched by his concern for her, and extremely grateful. She hadn't been looking forward to another lonely night at the apartment.

He hadn't intended to stay at first, but when she'd seemed to become fretful and tearful as the night had descended he known that he couldn't leave her. He hated to think of her being all alone when she was in such a fragile state of mind. He knew that she was doing her best to pretend that she was coping okay, but he knew better.

Trying to remember why she'd set her alarm clock so early, Clare realised with disappointment that she was scheduled to work that day. Her heart sunk at the thought. The Compound was another place that she couldn't imagine being without Libby; even though the younger woman only worked there part–time.

Rolling over to face JC she tentatively nudged him awake, offering him a weak smile when he opened his eyes to look at her.

"Hey," she said apologetically, "sorry to have to wake you."

"Hey," he said as he rubbed his eyes with his balled up fists and let out a groan of a yawn. "What time is it?"

"Early," Clare told him evasively and he immediately glanced at her bedside clock to find out for himself. Clare could tell what he was thinking as he read the time—that he could quite easily have slept for another few hours—but he was too much of a gentleman to say anything. Instead, he rolled onto his side and supported his head with his palm as his eyes scanned her face for some sort of indication that she was still as upset as she had been the night before.

"I have to go to work," she told him as he studied her face intensely, "but I'm going to stop by the hospital first. I have to see Libby."

JC nodded, completely understanding. "I'll drive you," he said as he sat upright and climbed off the bed without a backwards glance.

He'd been adamant that if he stayed that he would sleep above the bed covers, even though Clare had nearly been at the point of protesting that she'd rather he didn't. However, in the cold light of day, she'd been grateful for his sense of decorum; it would only have complicated her life further if something had happened between them at that moment in time. 

"You don't have to!" She called after him as he made his way out of her room and headed towards the bathroom; but his mind was already made up.

"It’s fine, I want to," he called back before she heard the bathroom door click shut behind him.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Clare walked into Libby's hospital room without first checking to see whether it was occupied or not. It was only when she’d turned around from having closed the door behind her that she noticed a middle–aged woman sitting in the visitor’s chair on the left hand side of Libby’s bed.

The woman hadn’t seemed to hear her entrance, and she was crying and wringing her hands together as she muttered something intelligible to Libby. For a moment, Clare considered leaving the room straight away, but, as she continued to stare, she realised that the visitor was in fact Libby's mother, Catherine.

As Clare inhaled noisily in surprise, Catherine's head snapped to attention and she glanced over her shoulder to see who had entered the room. Mother and daughter looked so similar that Clare had to fight away tears at the sight.

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and remorse, Clare froze and stared back at Catherine open–mouthed as she realised that she hadn't remembered to call any of Libby's family to tell them the news. She felt horrified at her own forgetfulness. And yet, how could it be that Catherine was at her daughter's side when she hadn't even been told about the accident? Mother’s intuition?

Sensing Clare's confusion and hesitation, Catherine Armstrong jumped out of her seat and rushed over to pull Clare into a tight hug. It had been several years since the women had seen each other, and yet it might as well have been yesterday.

"Clare!" Catherine gasped as she squeezed her tightly. "Oh, Clare. I'm so glad to see you."

Clare returned the hug but found herself too surprised to be able to form words.

"Your friend... Jamie? She called me," Catherine explained in a rush as she pulled away to look into Clare's face. "She told me that Elizabeth had been involved in an accident and that she was in the hospital! Oh, my darling. Naturally I got on the first flight out here."

Clare returned Catherine's weak smile as the relief washed over her. Jamie... thank God.  She must've known that I would be too preoccupied to call anyone. She made a mental note to thank Jamie when she next had a chance.

"I've just spoken to the doctor," Catherine continued as she glanced over her shoulder at her daughter as a worried frown crossed her face. Her chin began to tremble as she continued to speak. "He told me that overnight she's developed some pressure on the brain. They are trying to schedule her in for some kind of surgery today."

"Surgery?" Clare gasped, taken aback by the news. "No one called me..."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth Clare regretted them. Of course they didn't call you, Clare, you idiot. With Libby's mother here you're no longer the next of kin. She met Catherine's eyes and tried to cover her tracks quickly. She didn't want her words to sound like an accusation. "Isn't surgery very risky?"

Catherine reached out and squeezed Clare's left hand before gently tugging her forward so that they were both standing over Libby. "Yes," she said in a soothingly, motherly tone and stared down fondly at her daughter. "But they can't leave her with pressure on the brain."

Catherine turned back to Clare with a sad expression and said, "I guess it's what they call a catch twenty–two." Clare nodded back glumly.

"I wish I could have come sooner..." Catherine said as her eyes scanned Clare's face. "I can't imagine what you've been going through. I know my Elizabeth is like a sister to you."

Clare swallowed audibly. "Yes, and I am so sorry that I haven't been taking better care of her," she said as tears once again threatened to spill from her eyes.

"Yes, and I'm sorry I haven't been taking better care of her." Clare said, as tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"Hush," Christine told her as she wrapped an arm around Clare's waist. "I spent the whole time on the flight here wondering 'what if', but it didn't do me any good; and it won't do you any good either. We have to just accept that this has happened and try to find a way to pull through. This isn't anyone's fault, Clare."

Clare wanted to agree, but she couldn't. She had to find someone or something to blame as she just couldn't cope with the idea that Libby's accident had simply been 'one of those things'. It was just too cruel.

"Has anyone else been told about the operation?" Clare asked as her thoughts turned to the rest of her friends. She'd tried her best to keep them as updated with Libby's progress as possible, but so far there hadn't really been much to say.

"I told her young man," Christine replied as she turned to Clare with a twinkle in her eye. "He was here when I arrived."

Clare hesitated. There could only be one person to whom Catherine was referring, but even hearing Libby's mom say the words out loud was a little startling. Especially the phrase 'young man'. It was such a 'mom' thing to say.

"Justin's here?"

"No, he offered to go home when I arrived. He said he'd be back later to find out any news." She glanced back at Libby and smiled fondly. "He's a very nice boy."

Clare swallowed again and bit down hard on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. Get a grip, Clare. You can't keep bursting into tears at any available moment.

"He is nice," she agreed in a weak voice as she, too, glanced over at Libby.

It was such a surreal moment to be sharing with Libby's mother and Clare wondered how her friend would react if she could overhear their conversation. Probably squirm with embarrassment, she thought, and the idea made her want to laugh out loud even as the tears shone in her eyes.

She wondered if anything would change between Justin and Libby if the young woman were to suddenly recover. Would the experience of nearly losing each other be the catalyst for them finally becoming a couple? Clare certainly hoped so.

Although she'd always had a niggling feeling, Clare was certain now that Justin had very strong feelings for Libby. His overwhelming distress the day before had assured her that his feelings went far beyond those of a friend. It'd made Clare wish that there was some way for her to tell Libby this; to tell her that if she were to wake up that she might finally get everything that she'd wanted for the past two years. If the chance to be with Justin wasn't enough to wake her then nothing would.

Glancing at the E.C.G monitor, Clare watched the steady peaks and falls scrawl across the screen as they recorded Libby's heart–rate. Strangely, the sight had become somewhat reassuring to her, and she wondered if that was weird. As she continued to stare she thought that she saw a slight change in one of the readings, but she soon put this down to her imagination. Her lack of proper sleep and almost constant anxiety was playing havoc on her nerves.

As she continued to watch the monitor, Clare became aware of the time in the bottom corner of the screen and she felt her heart sink. Her time was up. She had to leave now or call Johnny to say that she was going to be late—which she really didn't want have to do.

"I have to go to work..." she said regretfully and let her eyes flick to Libby's face. It hadn't been much of a visit and it scared her to think that her friend might be going in for surgery before she had a chance to see her again.

What if something goes wrong in the surgery and she doesn't make it? What if the swelling is much worse than the doctors have calculated and complications arise? Might this be the last time I'll see Libby alive?

"Let me take your number, Clare," Catherine said as she reached into her black, leather handbag and retrieved her cell–phone. She fumbled around with the buttons for several seconds before looking up expectantly. "I could call you if I hear any news..."

"Would you?" Clare said as she looked inside her own bag for her purse. She found one of her business cards that had both her personal and work numbers typed neatly on the back and handed it over to Catherine. "It would certainly make me feel better to know what was going on."

"Of course," Catherine said as she began to record the numbers Clare had given her into her phone. "I'll call you as soon as I hear anything."

Clare nodded; feeling satisfied that even though she couldn't physically be with Libby, she would at least be able to keep in touch with what was happening to her. She approached Libby's bedside for the first time and leaned down to kiss her friend on the temple. Even now it still shocked Clare to see her so still, but she covered her alarm by brushing a hand affectionately over Libby's hair.

"Take care, Lib," she said as she pulled away and took one last look at her friend. "We all love you. Don't ever forget that."

Clare exchanged a weak smile with Catherine and turned and left the room.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Clare made her way out of the main entrance of the hospital and walked around the corner of the building towards the car lot, she saw Justin heading towards her in the opposite direction. His shoulders were slumped and his head was bowed as he stared down at the ground as he walked. 

Although he hadn't yet spotted her, Clare raised her arm in a greeting and waved at him anyway. Fortunately, he looked up in time to see her gesture and offered her a feeble attempt at a smile in reply.

"Hi," Clare said as he made his way over to her with his hands stuffed deep into his jean pockets.

"Hey," he replied as he came to a stop in front of her and they both stared at each other for a minute, neither of them knowing what to say to the other.

Clare couldn't believe how weird things were between them now. Sure, compared to JC, for example, she didn't know Justin very well, but she'd still spent countless hours in his presence and had never felt this uncomfortable around him before.

He was like a sponge in that he seemed to sense and absorb people's moods, and therefore he made a special effort to keep the people around him feeling at ease. He regularly went out of his way to please other people, even at the cost of his own comfort. He was just that kind of guy; and Clare put it down to the fact that he was used to being screamed at a lot. He was naturally disarming and used his God–given talent to make his own life easier. Having hysterical, screaming women running after him all day got pretty draining pretty darn quick.

"You been visitin' Lib?" Justin asked after a minute of wracking his brain to think of something non–Libby related to say and coming up with nothing.

"Yeah," Clare said, "I just found out her mom's here." She tried not to screw up her face at having used the word 'mom'. It still sounded wrong to her ears, but she was so used to the men of the group saying it that it had become part of her vocabulary, too. Mum...mom...mum...

"Yeah, we met earlier," Justin said as the corners of his mouth tilted up into a tentative smile. "They look alike..." Clare met his eyes and read in their depths what he was unable to say aloud. It hurts to look at her...

"Well, you've certainly made a good impression," she assured him and enjoyed the look of pleasant surprise that crossed his face. She knew how important it would be to him to make a good impression to Libby's mother. It was most probably the first time that the pair had met, and Clare felt a feeling of fondness wash over her at the thought of him having entered Libby's hospital room earlier that morning—probably feeling at his lowest—and suddenly having to impress Libby's unexpected guest. Fortunately, Justin could easily turn on the charm no matter how he was feeling inside. It was a consequence of his high–profile job.

"I dunno how," he chuckled self–depreciatingly. "I can hardly say I'm at my best right now." He glanced down at his feet and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. For the first time Clare became aware of the dark circles under his eyes and the two day old stubble that had formed over his chin. He looked shattered, and somehow a lot older than his years. "I can't eat, I can't sleep—"

"I know the feeling," Clare replied shortly and as soon as the words were out of her mouth she regretted them. A look of hurt flashed across Justin's face only adding to Clare's guilt. It had sounded just like she was trying to compete with him over who was more upset, or physically suffering the most from what had happened. Clare mentally berated herself for being so careless in her choice of words. Why can't I stop putting my foot in my mouth around him? It never used to be so difficult to talk to him.

Justin cleared his throat and Clare realised that she'd been silent for way too long. She struggled to think of something non–competitive to say but everything that flashed through her mind sounded exactly that.

Eventually she said, "Catherine told me about the operation. I have to go to work now but she said that she'd call if there's any news. Would you mind doing the same? I'd hate to miss out on any updates..." There, that sounded nice and friendly and not at all accusing. She knew that if Justin gave his word then he would certainly keep it.

"Yeah, of course I will. Will you be at the Compound all day?"

"Yeah. Although I might stop by during my lunch break."

"Great. I'll call your cell anyway, just in case," he said and flashed her a warm smile. Clare stared up into his face, unsure of what to do next. She wasn't sure whether she should offer him a goodbye hug or simply walk away. For a moment she realised how close she must be with JC, and how much easier things were with him; she never had to second guess herself around him.

Sensing her awkwardness, Justin reached out unexpectedly and pulled Clare into a hug. She was so taken by surprise that she reciprocated without realising and found herself holding him tighter as she relaxed into his arms. It felt so good to be held by him, and Clare once again felt tears stinging at her eyes at the thought of her friend upstairs in the hospital bed. How much Libby would probably give to trade places with her for that moment, she thought.

"Take care, Gid'," Justin mumbled into her hair.

"Yeah, you, too."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

After saying goodbye to Clare, Justin made his way inside the hospital building and along the main hallway that led to the ICU. The path was now so familiar to him that he didn't have to think as he made his way towards the small offshoot ward where Libby was staying. Consequently, his thoughts were free to wander. And wander they did...

+ + +

It had been a long, hot mid–summer's day at the Compound, and the entire group had been hanging out around the pool area to cool off. They had all been too hot and bothered to work, or in the guys' case, rehearse.

With the sun directly overhead and the girls complaining that their work clothes were too stifling to be comfortable, the members of *NSYNC had cheekily suggested that the girls change into bathing suits and go for a dip in the pool with them.

Unbeknownst to them, the two women had already come prepared to take a swim, and they'd temporarily disappeared indoors to change into their bathing suits before returning several minutes later—much to the guys' surprise—in cropped bikinis that showed off their trim figures.

Justin had been mucking around at the poolside with JC. They'd both been trying to see how close each of them could balance on the edge of the pool with only the tips of their toes holding onto the side. So far, Justin had easily been winning, and as he'd glanced over at JC—who had just taken another tumble into the pool—to gloat about his superior balance, he'd caught sight of Libby removing the towel that she'd had wrapped around her waist.

All at once, he'd forgotten all about his game with JC, and the fact that he'd been balancing precariously on the edge of the pool. It'd only been when he'd heard the sound of laughter coming not only from JC, but also Chris and Joey that he'd realised that he'd been caught blatantly staring.

As he'd tried to deal with his sudden embarrassment and dry mouth, he'd realised that he'd begun to lose his balance. Quickly repositioning his feet and throwing his arms out at his side to make windmill like motions to reverse the inevitable, he'd soon realised that his actions had come too little too late. He'd toppled forward and fallen headfirst into the pool to the sound of his friends' bellows of laughter.

+ + +

As Justin entered Libby's room and glanced over at her bed, he felt the beginnings of another anxiety attack that had been keeping him awake for half of the night. First his heart began to irrationally race, and then he found himself unable to control his breathing as the panic overwhelmed him. The very thought of Libby's condition—and him being unable to do anything to help her—made him feel completely and utterly overwhelmed with fear and dread.

He made his way directly over to her bedside, letting the door close by itself behind him, and towered over her, frowning down at her still face. "Quit playing now, Libs," he told her sternly. "They're talking about doin' some kind of operation on you. You need to open your eyes now. I'm not kiddin'. I know you can hear me." He scanned her face desperately for some sign of a reaction and reached out to squeeze her hand.

"Come on, now. You're proper scaring me. Just open your eyes and look at me. Please..."

"I've been trying that all morning," he heard a voice say from behind him and Justin turned around to see Libby's mother standing in the doorway with a cup of coffee in one hand and a vase of flowers in the other. She gave him a reassuring smile and walked across the room to place the vase of flowers on the small side table by Libby's bed. She glanced over at her daughter and smiled fondly before gesturing for Justin to take a seat in the visitor's chair.

At once he felt uncomfortable about taking the only available seat, but Catherine insisted and perched on the edge of Libby's bed before reaching out to hold her daughter's hand.

"You know, Elizabeth calls me every Sunday to tell me about her week," Catherine told him as she turned to meet his eyes. "I insisted on it as part of the agreement for her moving here."

Justin nodded and remembered how often Libby would mention her family in their conversations, and how she would often share stories with him about her childhood in England, growing up with her two older brothers.

"Your name gets mentioned quite a bit," Catherine said with a twinkle in her eye as she watched Justin's eyes linger on her daughter's face.

Justin turned to look at her in surprise causing Catherine to chuckle. She might've only just met him in the flesh, but she'd been hearing about him nearly every Sunday for the past two years. She'd known by the way her daughter gushed about him that the pair of them shared a special connection. And now that she'd finally met him, Catherine was convinced that he had romantic feelings for her daughter.

"Oh, yes. I remember the first time she called to say that she'd met you; she sounded so excited. I remember her saying that you were even better looking in person than in your pictures."

Justin cleared his throat bashfully.

"She's always had good taste in men, my Elizabeth," Catherine continued with a fond smile. "She's just never seemed to choose the right ones to date."

Justin's expression turned stony. He didn't need reminding how much of a jerk Libby's last boyfriend had been. It made him sick to his stomach to think that Dan could've been the last person that Libby ever loved.

"You've been good to her, Justin," Catherine said as she turned back to face Libby. "You all have, I know, but she always speaks so fondly of you. It makes me happy to think of her out here surrounded by such good friends. Just like her big brothers back home."

Brothers. The word stuck out to Justin, and he pouted sullenly. Of course Libby would've referred to him as a brother type, he thought bitterly. But surely he'd become more to her than that? Surely deep down she knew that he could be... wanted to be... more than just good friends? Would he ever get the chance to convince her to move him out of the 'friend zone'?

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare sat in her office trying to think up questions for the competition that featured each month in the fan club's newsletter. It was something that the girls had to do in the penultimate week of the month, and as it was already the twenty–third, Clare realised that time was running away from her. She didn't want to drop the ball on her work responsibilities just because Libby was in the hospital. She needed to come up with a question for each member of the group by lunchtime and so far she was stuck on Joey.

It seemed like an easy enough task, but it was Libby's forte and not hers. Libby was the one who seemed to absorb and retain all the useless information about the group that the fans seemed to eat up. It was Libby who could recite which member preferred sweet popcorn to salt, or who refused to drink diet soda; which of them liked horror movies and who had a pine nut allergy. It was second nature to Libby, whilst it was practically torture for Clare.

She knew the guys very well—they were some of her closest friends—but that didn't mean that she could recite their favourite colours, or which was the first concert they each attended. Clare always wondered why a person would need to know such pointless information about a complete stranger, but the popularity of the newsletter proved to her that there were plenty of fans out there who did.

As she stared at the blinking cursor on her computer screen, Clare felt her mind go completely blank. There wasn't anything that she could think of to ask about Joey, let alone something that hadn't been mentioned in the newsletter before. She glanced at the digital clock in the bottom right hand corner of her computer screen and let out a deep breath. Just two hours to go until Libby's surgery. Two hours...

Justin had called an hour ago to let her know that there had been no change in the results of Libby's last scan, and therefore the surgeon had decided to go ahead with the scheduled operation. Clare had felt physically sick at the thought of her friend going through such risky surgery, but she'd also understood that there was very little alternative at this stage. Still, it was difficult for her to absorb the fact that in just over four or five hours’ time—the surgeon had estimated that the operation would last several hours—she would get the first full prognosis of Libby's condition. The thought filled her with anticipation and dread.

As Clare sat there morosely thinking about the operation, the door to her office opened unexpectedly and Lisa stuck her head inside. "Hello," she said as she eyed Clare's face carefully for signs that her interruption was unwelcome. "I thought I'd pop up and see you. Is that okay?"

Clare gave her friend a sincere smile and welcomed her inside. "That's nice, thanks."

Lisa took a few steps inside the office and closed the door quietly behind her. "Are you sure I'm not disturbing you?" She asked as she made her way over to Clare's side and bent down to give her a warm hug.

"No, no it's fine."

"Joey told me about the operation. He said you're going back to the hospital this afternoon?"

"Yeah..." Clare said as she met Lisa's concerned eyes. Clare could tell that there was a lot more that her friend wanted to say but she was holding back to prevent saying something that might upset her. "I'm gonna head out early today and go straight there."

"Would you like some company? It's perfectly fine if you don't, of course. I just thought I'd offer. I could drive, if you like?"

"I thought you hated hospitals," Clare remarked, touched by Lisa's suggestion. She normally had to be taken kicking and screaming anywhere near a hospital, so her offer took Clare by surprise.

"I know, I do. But I love you and Libby way more," she said with a fond smile and Clare felt a lump form in her throat. She'd promised herself that there were to be no more tears at work, and so she bit down hard on her bottom lip until she regained some control over her emotions. She gave Lisa a brave smile even as the tears shone in her eyes.

"Then I accept."

"Great!" Lisa said and perched on the edge of Clare's desk to get a better look at what she was working on. "Is there anything I can do in the meantime? I'm kinda just killing time now..." She glanced down at the random sheets of paper, printed emails and faxes that were covering the majority of Clare's desk and tried not to grimace. It was chaos. She'd never admit it to Clare, but she'd been tipped off by the older members of *NSYNC that Clare was currently struggling with her workload; and so her 'spontaneous' trip to her friend's office had really been anything but.

Clare let out a laugh at her friend's suggestion and turned to her with a smirk. Lisa was exactly the right person to help her out. She couldn't help but find the coincidence amusing.

"Actually, it's funny you say that..."

~~~~~*~~~~~

By late afternoon, the family waiting room at the hospital was packed with people waiting for news of Libby. Although the group realised that they were probably pushing the limits of the hospital staffs' tolerance by being there all together, no one had wanted to volunteer to be left behind and have to hear the news of Libby's operation second hand.

Libby had been in surgery for just over two and a half hours, and the wait for news had already begun to feel endless. Clare was grateful for the support of her friends; she wasn't sure how she would have handled the long wait without them.

Justin, meanwhile, couldn't bear to wait in the room with the others. He'd found their attempts to engage him in conversation irritating, and he'd needed space to deal with the tempest of emotions that were swirling around in his mind. He couldn't speak without biting someone's head off, and although he knew that his friends meant well, he just couldn't handle it. He'd gone and sat in his car in the car lot to wait it out alone.

Before Libby had been wheeled off for surgery, Justin had been in a temporary state of denial. He'd pretended to listen as the surgeon had gone over the risks of the operation with him and Libby's mother, and, despite the seriousness of the conversation, he'd felt strangely detached from it all.

It'd only been when the nurse had wheeled Libby's bed out of the room and towards the pre–op ward that he'd been snapped out of his trance. The emptiness of the place without her presence and the significance of the moment had hit him hard.

He'd stood there in silence and stared at the empty doorway, feeling completely alone. Even though Catherine had made her way silently to his side and reached out to squeeze his hand, he'd been unable to feel anything other than crippling dread at the fact that Libby had gone.

Will I ever see her alive again? He'd wondered. If she dies in surgery will I get the chance to see her one last time to say goodbye? What happens if there are complications? If the surgeons discover that her injuries are worse than expected and she never regains consciousness?

In his mind he could already picture the sight of the surgeons entering the waiting room, their faces sombre and apologetic as they explained that there was nothing that they could do... that she had already gone. What would he do? How would he even begin to comprehend it?

His heart had hammered away in his chest at the very thought of it and his breath had come in panicked gasps.

He couldn't lose her; it just wasn't the way that things were supposed to go. She was only eighteen, for goodness sakes. She was young and vibrant and still had the best years of her life yet to live... Not to mention the fact that he needed her... wanted her.

Was it right for both of their lives to be ruined by one stupid accident? Was that fair? She was his... she was always meant to be his...

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare stared at the hands of the clock on the wall as they registered the passing of each minute. She'd now been waiting an hour and a half for news, and each second that passed seemed to be more agonising than the last. And yet, at the same time, she wished that the wait would go on forever. She realised that this was one of those instances that would change the course of the rest of her life forever. Whatever the outcome of the surgery, her and Libby's lives would never be the same.

Clare was bought back to awareness by JC suddenly striding across the room towards her from where he'd been standing in front of the closed door. He'd seen through the glass window that a doctor in a white coat was heading their way, and he'd put two and two together and figured that they were about to be given the news.

He reached out and took Clare's hand in his own, giving it a slightly harder squeeze than he'd intended—his own anxiety doing a number on his self–control. He needed to her to know that he was there—no matter what—but he couldn't form the words. He hoped that his eyes told her what he was unable to say.

Clare turned and looked at him, her face suddenly ghostly pale and her eyes wide. At that moment the long wait paled into insignificance, and if someone had told her that she'd only been waiting five minutes she'd have believed them.

Everyone stood to attention as Dr. Greene entered the room followed by another slightly older looking man. They both smiled politely at the group as they searched out Libby's mother's face in the crowd. As Libby's next of kin, Catherine was the person to whom the doctors would give the news.

Clare held her breath as her heart began to hammer away in her chest. She was grateful for JC's strong body standing so close beside her; without his strong, supportive presence by her side she was certain that she would pass out from the stress.

"Please allow me to present Dr. Martin," Dr. Greene said as the older man held his hand out to Catherine, who reached out to shake it politely. Everyone could see the tremor in her hand as she dropped it back to her side but her brave smile never faltered. Clare couldn't imagine how Catherine managed to keep such a calm facade in such a moment, but she certainly admired her for it. The fact that she was being so strong forced her to rein in her own emotions. If Catherine could handle it then there was no excuse for any of the rest of them to fall apart.

"Someone should find Justin," Clare heard a voice from somewhere in the room say and she noticed the door open and close as someone left momentarily to go and find him. There were too many people in the room for her to tell who it was that had left, but she was grateful to them all the same.

She felt as though she were in a strange dream and was aware of what was happening but detached from it all the same. Everything was happening in slow–motion as though someone had deliberately slowed time.

Justin appeared a few minutes later, and Clare was relieved that the doctors' had agreed to wait for him before continuing—all thanks to Catherine. She'd insisted that she wouldn't hear another word until the young man was present, and the act had filled Clare's heart with gratitude and respect for her. In just a few short days, Libby's mother had seemed to have developed quite an affection for the young man and was treating him just as though he were Libby's boyfriend.

"I am pleased to be able to tell you that Elizabeth has pulled through the operation remarkably well—" Dr. Martin said as he addressed the room.

Clare expelled her breath in a rush and she felt JC squeeze her hand encouragingly. She glanced out of the corner of her eye at him when she felt his eyes on her face, and they exchanged a look of relief. It was exactly what Clare had been hoping—praying—to hear.

"—There were a few moments when things were touch and go—brain surgery is never without its risks—but we have achieved our goal of reducing pressure from around the brain—"

The colour began to return to Clare's face, and she met Justin's eyes for the first time. Like her, he looked completely wrung out from the stress, but she could see the relief in his teary eyes from all the way across the room. He attempted a smile at her, even as his chin continued to tremble.

"—I can tell you that there is some residual damage from the accident, but there isn't anything that should cause lasting complications for Elizabeth." Dr. Martin smiled reassuringly at Catherine and paused, waiting for the inevitable questions that Libby's family and friends may throw at him.

"So what happens now?" Catherine asked him. Clare scrutinised the doctor's face as he prepared to answer. She knew that although Libby's operation had gone well, she still wasn't out of the woods yet; the operation was only step one on the long path to recovery.

Once again, Clare was overwhelmed with admiration for Catherine's ability to keep it together. She was amazed that the older woman was able to ask a sensible question given the news that they had just received. For she was bouncing between euphoria one minute and extreme anxiety the next.

"Well, unfortunately, there is never a standard path to recovery for patients with brain injuries. Ideally, the next step would be for her to begin to show signs of a return to consciousness, but there is no set time frame for this. Also, there is still a chance that Elizabeth's frontal lobe may have been affected by the accident."

"What does that mean?" Lance asked from across the room causing Dr. Martin to turn and look at him.

"Sometimes patients with a frontal lobe injury have a loss of long term memory; they can struggle with motivation or have difficulty understanding and displaying emotions. Occasionally they can struggle to display appropriate actions and may behave inappropriately, although they would be unaware of this."

There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone processed the news.

"But... she will recover?" Catherine asked, her voice catching in her throat for the first time.

Dr. Greene took a deep breath and spoke for the first time since introducing Dr. Martin. "There are no guarantees, but I can assure you that the operation has increased Elizabeth's chances considerably. Given her current medical state and the way her body has already responded, there is a good chance that she will pull through. This does, however, rely on her regaining consciousness. Of this we have very little control, I'm afraid."

So she's alive but still lost, Justin thought miserably as the doctor spoke. He'd naively imagined that if Libby survived the surgery then she would instantly wake up. He felt crushed by the reality of the situation—the nightmare had only just begun. Like most people, he'd heard stories of people who stayed in comas for months... years... What if that happened to Libby? What if she were one of the unlucky ones?

Justin felt something stab at his insides and his emotions began to bubble over as he was drawn further into his inner misery. The panic rose in his chest and he found himself unable to form a breath. He needed to get out.

To get as far—and as fast—away from the hospital as he could, but he was reluctant to burst out of the room and create a scene. As selfish as he could be, he wasn't that much of a jerk to worry his friends—and especially Libby's mother—about him when they had more pressing concerns.

He forced himself to stay where he was and instead focused on inhaling and exhaling evenly, using the ticking of the clock hands as a kind of metronome to help him focus. He counted each breath as he let it out, turning inwards until the voices in the room became merely background noise and the ticking and his breathing were the only identifiable sound.

Closing his eyes, Justin remained that way for several minutes before he felt a hand on his shoulder and he started at the touch. His eyes shot open to see Clare staring at him, her face contorted into a look of surprise and hurt. She pulled her hand away sharply and frowned at him.

"I said we can go and see her," she muttered as she eyed him warily.

Justin's eyes flicked away from her face to the now almost empty room and he wondered how long he had actually been meditating. Long enough for the room to clear, it seemed.

"What?" He asked in a slightly irritated tone as he turned back to look at Clare's face. This time her eyes narrowed into a genuine scowl.

"Libby. I take it you're not bothered about seeing her then?"

Justin narrowed his eyes back, not only at the stupidity of her question, but also at the narky way that she'd asked it. Of course he wanted to see her, but couldn't Clare tell that he was struggling just to keep himself together? Why hadn't she sensed that touching him had been a bad idea? That he was so close to losing it that he'd lash out at anyone at that moment?

"I... I don't think I can," he stammered as he tried to find a way to explain his feelings. The thought of seeing Libby still lying motionless in her bed made him feel as though he were suffocating all over again. The panic rose up once again in his chest.

"Didn't you hear the doc'?" JC asked him gently as he appeared at his side, his eyes flicking momentarily to Clare. She was still glowering at him, but Justin didn't care. She had no right to judge him. "She's over the worst, Justi—"

"I just can't..."

He wanted to explain, but how could he? How could he tell them that seeing her there would destroy him? That he'd set his expectations too high and now he was standing over the precipice facing the reality that emotionally he was about to lose her all over again? He couldn't do it... he couldn't let himself go there. He needed to get as far away from it as possible... he needed to run.

"Fine! Put yourself first as always! I don't need to think twice about it. I care about Libby!" Plus, I'm not a selfish bastard! Clare thought angrily as she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room.

She was disgusted by Justin's apparent cowardice, and she couldn't stand to look at him any longer. How could he be so selfish? How could he put himself before her dear, sweet friend? Wasn't he always making out that he loved Libby... that he'd do anything for her? And yet he couldn't even be there for her when she needed him; when she was at her lowest. Clare couldn't even comprehend his attitude; she certainly didn't need to think twice about being there for her friend. There was no hesitation on her part.

Unlike Clare, JC got it. He understood completely how Justin was feeling and had no feelings of ill will towards his friend. Were he Justin's age, he would probably have reacted in exactly the same way, but age and experience had matured him, as it would Justin.

He slapped his friend on the back and avoided his eyes, knowing how difficult Justin would find it to look him in the eye. Clare's reaction had been brutal, to say the least, but also undeserved. This wasn't about Justin's feelings for Libby. Of that he was certain, and he made a mental note to speak to Clare about it later. It wasn't fair for her to judge Justin at such an emotional time. Hell, they were all just trying to do their best to keep it together, weren't they?

"Head on home, man," JC said gently as he gave Justin's shoulder a squeeze and pretended not to notice as the youngster hung his head as his shoulder's began to shake.

JC glanced at the doorway, preparing to make his departure and follow after Clare, but then he heard his friend let out a tortured sob that went straight through him. The sound radiated around the room and JC grimaced as he turned back to look at Justin's devastated face. As he watched the youngster's knees buckled from under him and he sunk to the floor, landing in a crumpled heap by JC's feet.

"Dude..." JC said as he crouched down to put an arm around Justin's shoulders. It made little difference to Justin, and he continued to sob, the sounds emanating from his throat caused JC's eyes to fill with tears. It was gut wrenching watching his younger friend so upset and he hated the fact that there was nothing that he could do to comfort him.

"Come on, man," JC said as he tried to haul Justin up off the floor. "Let me drive you home. You don't have to be here right now."

"Libby..." Justin sobbed and JC immediately hushed him.

"Nah, man. Don't listen to Clare. Go home and get some rest and come back when you're stronger."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

True to his word, JC drove Justin straight home to his mother's house. The car journey was made in silence but to his relief, when JC pulled up into the driveway, turned off the engine and looked over at his friend, he'd noticed that Justin had stopped crying and seemed to have some kind of grip on his emotions. His face had been hard, strained and pale, and JC had realised that it was a mask put there for his benefit. Once inside, no doubt Justin would return to the shivering, sobbing wreck that he'd been in the waiting room.

Despite knowing this, JC was relieved. He hadn't wanted to turn up at Lynn Harless' house with Justin looking as though his best friend had just died. Not only would it worry her, but it'd look bad on him. He was one of Justin's brothers, and he knew that it was his responsibility to take care of him. Even so he was struggling to deal with the up and down rollercoaster of his emotions.

After all, the doctor's update had been pretty positive—or so he'd thought—given the circumstances. Sure, he hadn't expected Justin to be jumping for joy, but neither had he expected his friend to have such an emotional breakdown over it either. Yes, Clare's harsh words hadn't helped, and he knew that they would torture Justin the more he thought about them. To accuse him of not caring about Libby had been cruel and unfair, but JC had known that Clare, too, was suffering herself from what had happened to her friend.

It was hard for JC, having to balance all of his friend's feelings whilst they were all so highly strung and emotional. He wasn't used to it, and was trying his best to be impartial and understanding to everyone. Even so, he was finding himself spending more time away from the group. It wasn't deliberate, but more for the protection of his own sanity. There was only so much he could handle before he, too, began to unravel.

He'd called Alyson—or rather she'd called him and he'd answered—and he'd found her a surprisingly easy shoulder to cry on. Since Libby's accident, he'd found all the drama surrounding him and his ex had blown over, and she'd been the one person he'd been able to talk to without any feelings of guilt or having to push his feelings aside to protect anyone. It had felt nice, and he'd refused to allow himself to second guess his feelings about it. He needed someone to talk to, and she was there for him. That was all it was.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Lying on his back on his bed, Justin stared up at the ceiling above him, his mind a jumble of thoughts and feelings. Now that he was home he felt guilty about his behaviour at the hospital. He felt sorry for having given into his weaknesses and insecurities; especially as JC had been around to witness it. He felt embarrassed and ashamed that he hadn't done the right thing—which his conscience was now reminding him by supplying him with a major headache and an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he just couldn't ignore.

Clare had been right; he had been thinking of himself. He was a coward, and he felt ashamed of himself. Why hadn't he done the right thing and visited Libby? Even if he'd taken some time himself beforehand to get his act together, or even waited until everyone had gone home to go and see her then? Did he really feel better now for having left so abruptly? Now he felt even more anxious about his next visit as he had all the guilty feelings for having let her down last time.

He wished that he'd managed to keep himself together, even if he'd still left without seeing Libby. He shouldn't have made things harder on his friends by falling apart like he had. It must've been especially hard on JC, who'd so far been so understanding and considerate of his feelings. JC had obviously been concerned enough that he'd felt the need to drive him home and although he'd pretended not to, he'd heard his friend knocking on the front door ten minutes after he'd gone inside to have a quick chat with his mother.

He'd hated overhearing their conversation—all hushed voices and worried whispers—but at the same time he'd almost strained to hear what they were saying. He'd wanted to know what was being said behind his back, even though he'd known that he probably wasn't going to like it. Fortunately, other than filling his mother in on Libby's news, JC had only suggested that maybe she check on him in a few hours’ time and could she ring him later to let him know how he was doing? Typical JC. Always behaving like the parent.

Feeling his weariness overwhelm him, Justin momentarily closed his eyes and lifted his hands to rub at his temples. Headache. He knew that he could easily get up and head over to his bathroom to fetch himself some Advil from the bathroom cabinet, but he couldn't be bothered. He deserved the pain. Besides, it went with his mood. He grimaced as the dull ache washed over him in waves making him feel nauseous. It wasn't enough to make him want to physically be sick, but it was enough to give him the uneasy feeling all the same.

As Justin lay there completely still, his thoughts immediately flashed to Libby. He'd been an idiot to think that the operation would somehow produce a miracle cure, and the more he thought about it the more he inwardly groaned with regret. Why had he allowed himself to be so naive? If it was that easy, why were there so many people across the globe staying in comas for weeks, months, years? Why did he think that Libby would somehow be different just because he wanted her to be?

It had been a shock—that he couldn't deny, but shouldn't he have expected it? The doctor's hadn't once told him to expect Libby to wake immediately after surgery. It had been his own stupid expectations that had allowed that thought to plant itself in his brain and grow roots. He should've known better. He might've saved himself this heartache.

What was he to do now? Could he commit to being there for her for months, or years, if it came down to it? What would that mean for his career? His plans? His life? Could he really travel the world with the group—having the time of his life—whilst she was lying still in a hospital bed unable to move, speak or even breathe by herself? Would he be able to continue singing songs about being young, carefree and in love when he knew that the person that he cared for the most in the world might never recover from her injuries? Might never wake from her coma? Might die?

He groaned aloud and rubbed his fingers over his aching eyelids. Of course not.

I'd give it all, I'd give for us / Give anything but I won't give up / ‘Cause you know, you know, you know / That I love you, I've loved you all along / And I miss you / Been far away for far too long / I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go / Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore...

 

His lack of sleep and the stress of the last few days were doing a number on his body and he couldn't remember a time when he had been so physically and mentally exhausted. Not without being out performing every night that is. If only he could allow himself to switch off for a few hours just to get some sleep. Sleep was good. Sleep was numbing, and was a welcome break from his mental turmoil. He needed to sleep.

He exhaled deeply and forced himself to push all thoughts of Libby out of his head. If he could just keep his mind blank then he might be able to drift off. Please, he begged. Please just let me sleep. Please just let it all go away.

He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, which was usually a sure fire way of getting himself relaxed enough to sleep. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. He could feel his heart rate slowing and the heady grip of sleep pull him willingly into the abyss. Inhale, exhale...

"J...?"

"Hmmm...?"

"J...? Justin?"

"Wha...?" He asked groggily, his eyes shooting open. Although he was sure that he'd been sleeping, he felt as though it'd only been for a few seconds, at most. His blue eyes scanned around him, keen to find the person behind the voice.

"I said, 'I missed you at the hospital."

"Libby?!"

"Yes, Libby!" She smirked, amused by the startled look on his face. "Who else did ya' expect?"

"I... I just... I..." Justin stuttered, his eyes shooting around his bedroom for some kind of explanation. There she was, flesh and blood, lying next to him on her stomach, her legs bent at the knees and her bare feet waving over her head as she grinned at him. Her grin widened as he met her eyes once again and she let out a little giggle at his surprise.

"It's okay," she chuckled as she crossed her legs at her ankles and lifted a hand to support her chin as she tilted her head to regard him carefully. "I understand. You probably had other things to do. Like... watch TV... play some PlayStation... read?"

"Oh, God. Not you too," he groaned, sitting upright and running a hand through his short hair. Libby raised an eyebrow questioningly at him which was an expression he knew so well. "I swear to God, Clare hates me right now. I think she thinks I was being selfish, that I didn't want to see you..."

"And...? Were you?"

Justin stared at her bright face, her rosy cheeks and the crooked smile that was pulling at one side of her lips and felt a lump form in his throat. "No..." he struggled to say, his voice breaking. "No, I wasn't being selfish, I just... I just... couldn't." He once again ran his hand through his hair—a nervous habit. "I can't handle seeing you like that..." he said, the tears once again forming in his eyes. His voice dropped to a whisper and to his embarrassment, he felt his chin begin to wobble.

At once, the humour fell from Libby's face and was replaced by sympathy and concern. She sat upright and reached out to him, shuffling forward on the comforter to be closer to him.

"Shhh..." she soothed, reaching out a small hand to brush away the tears that had begun to flow down his cheeks. She gave him a warm, reassuring smile and tilted her head down to look him square in the eyes. He stared at her sadly, his heart pounding in his chest at the realisation that she really was there. "I understand, Justin," she assured him. "I know it's hard for you all."

She was so close, so real that his tears continued to fall and he brushed them away angrily with the back of his hand; annoyed that they were blurring his view of her lovely face. He felt so confused inside, his stomach a whirlwind of emotions that were only adding to his feelings of nausea, so much so that he almost felt the need to burp. Grief for what had happened to her, relief to see her so... alive, and love, more than anything, love.

Libby continued to smile at him, the brightness in her eyes just the way he'd always remembered her; the same slightly crooked grin that he loved and had missed so much. Seeing her there, and her apparently having no feelings of ill–will towards him, he felt the need to unload, to tell her how he was feeling, how much he was hurting...

"It's so horrible seeing you like that, Lib," he said in a choked voice. "So horrible, I can't even—"

Libby reached forward once again and placed her index finger against his lips. Immediately he closed his eyes, saving the warm feel of her skin against his, revelling in the touch. It felt so real...

"Justin, you don't have to torture yourself like this," she said, shuffling even closer to him until he could feel her warm breath brushing against his face. He opened his eyes, not wanting to miss a moment of her smile. She looked at him through her lashes, her green eyes wide and almond shaped, just like he'd remembered. "You look so sad all the time, J. I don't want you to be sad."

She pulled her finger away and when he pouted at the loss of her touch, she placed her palm on the side of his face, causing his eyes to flutter close and him to lean into her touch.

"I need you to be strong, Justin. For me, for Clare, for everyone. I need you..."

"Need me?" He questioned, his eyes popping open, and he stared at her, only realising after a second that her eyes had left his and were focused on his lips. He felt his heart rate take off at a run.

Libby frowned slightly and glanced up to meet his desperate eyes. For a moment she looked put out, and then her face softened, her eyes crinkling slightly at the edges. "Yes, there is," she corrected, removing her hand to place it in her lap. Justin watched its departure with dismay.

"Tell me what to do then, Lib," he begged her. "I'd do anything for you, you know that. You've already been gone too long."

"I'm still there, Justin," she said gently, rocking back onto her heels, widening the gap between them. Justin fought back a whine and instinctively reached out a hand to try to pull her back but she dodged easily out of his grasp. "The person lying in the bed is still me. I'm still there. You need to help me come back. You need to remind me what I'm coming back for."

"But how?" He asked, feeling her slipping away from him and the panic once again returned to his chest. He felt his stomach constrict with anxiety and the pounding return to his head. His breathing became difficult, and he realised, with despair, that he was about to have another panic attack. "Libby, please tell me..."

Justin reached forward once again and jumped when he felt his body start with alarm and his eyes shot open. He was still in his room, the ceiling above him was the same ceiling he'd been staring at earlier but something was wrong. He snapped his head around and searched desperately for Libby.

She'd been there! She had to have been! It was so real...

Justin felt his stomach constrict, and he knew that this time he was going to be sick. He shot to his feet and rushed across the room towards his en–suite bathroom, making it just in time to rip the toilet seat up and hurl into the basin. He continued retching until he was completely empty and his hands and legs were shaking with the effort. Once the feeling of nausea passed, he released his hold of the toilet and let his body sink to the floor, his legs splaying out before him. He just about managed to reach out and pull down on the handle with a shaking hand.

It had been a dream. A glorious, horrendous, soul destroying dream. She'd touched him; he'd felt her hand against his face. She'd spoken to him; he'd felt her breath on his face. And yet none of it had been real. His subconscious had played the cruelest trick on him.

As he continued to stare at the plain, off–white tiles of the bathroom floor, he felt a slight glimmer of hope as he relived the dream over and over in his mind, wanting to keep the sound of her voice and the feel of her hand against his cheek for as long as possible.

It might have only been a dream but it must have meant something, right? After all, weren't there books written on the meanings behind dreams? Maybe it hadn't been a trick, but rather a way for his brain to come up with a game plan. That's what he'd been thinking about before, hadn't it? How to go forward?

He swallowed hard, cringing at the sour taste in his mouth. He needed to brush his teeth, drink a glass of water, do something to remove the vile taste and he struggled to his feet, taking several attempts to get his long legs under control.

She may have only been an illusion, but dream Libby had had a point. He couldn't continue moping around; it wasn't doing him or anyone else any good. Neither would it make any difference to Libby.

With a new sense of strength and determination growing inside him, Justin shuffled across the room towards the sink and steadied himself by placing both hands on the ceramic bowl, glancing up to look at himself in the mirror. His reflection shocked him, and he realised with surprise that it was the first time in many days that he'd actually taken the time to look at himself properly.

Not that he was particularly vain, but his unhealthy hatred of his hair caused him to check out his reflection in nearly every mirror—or any shiny surface—which he passed that gave him the chance to check whether or not he had somehow managed to scare it straight. He was always disappointed. 

He ran a hand over his stubby chin, surprised at what a few days of not shaving had done to him. He looked much older, and that combined with the dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping gave him the appearance of a somewhat dejected, most likely inebriated, homeless man. It wasn't a good look, and it needed to go. No wonder he was getting so many funny looks around the Compound.

He felt much better already knowing that he had a plan. He could return to the Justin from before, the clean–shaven, squeaky clean, bright and bubbly young man who had no issues about singing songs about girls in pretty cars and bringing down the house with an upbeat pop song. It was all external anyway, it wasn't really him.

He could go forward knowing how he would manage each day until Libby came back to him. And she would come back to him—he was certain. Just like he'd been certain that he would make it onto the Mickey Mouse Club, and that the day he'd met JC he'd made a friend for life; and that Lance had simply had to come to Florida to audition for the group. He’d felt it in his gut and it was rarely wrong.

He would do whatever it took to bring Libby out of the darkness. He would stop at nothing, and like his determination and hard–work in the other areas of his life, he knew that it'd pay off. He would remind her what she was coming back for and he'd never let her forget it ever again.

I love you, I have loved you all along / And I forgive you for being far away for far too long / So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore / Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go...

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

A week had passed since Libby's operation, and she still hadn't made any advancement in waking up from the coma. The hospital staff had begun the process of reducing the amount of sedative in her IV drip, and although her most recent scan had revealed some signs of repair to the damaged area of her brain, the external signs of improvement hadn't been so obvious.

Clare's life had settled into a pattern of waking early in the morning, heading to the hospital for a quick visit, going to work, returning to the hospital for an evening visit and then going home to get as much sleep as her body would let her.

She was emotionally and physically wrung out. Due to the stress and anxiety that her body was under she had little appetite for food, and consequently she'd lost a considerable amount of weight in just that short space of time. Her face was pale and the dark circles under her eyes only seemed to become more prominent with each passing day. She was surviving on a diet of strong coffee and peppermints.

Johnny Wright, Clare's boss, had been very understanding about Libby's condition and had been kind enough to transfer a lot of Clare and Libby's work to another of their colleagues. And yet, Clare still felt overwhelmed by the amount of work that she had to do.

Alongside Sara and Jamie, who were also busy preparing for the upcoming tour, Clare was trying to organise the promotional material for both the North American leg of the tour and the European countries where the group would be performing. Recently it had involved her taking a lot of long–distance calls, and, thanks to the many time differences, she'd often be working at the Compound until the early hours of the morning.

Back before Libby's accident, both Clare and Libby had arranged to do this arduous task together. They'd planned to order in lots of take out and even stay overnight at the Compound to spare them constantly having to travel back and forwards in the middle of the night. However, now that Libby was unavailable, Clare was left doing it all on her own.

On this particular night, Clare was sorting out the details of a promotional competition where fans in the UK could win free tickets to one of the concerts, and, despite it being eleven thirty at night, she had no immediate plans to finish up and head home.

In the past few weeks, Clare had found that her work kept her mind occupied just enough to stop her worrying about Libby, and had meant that she had an excuse to spend as little time at the apartment as possible. Although she was shattered and loved her little home, she still hated being there without Libby.

As she headed back to her office from the side room where the photocopier and fax machine were kept, Clare was startled by JC who suddenly seemed to appear from out of nowhere.

"Oh Jeez, you scared me!" She exclaimed as she dumped the heavy paperwork that she'd been carrying onto her desk and turned around to give him her full attention. "What are you doing here so late?" She asked as she looked into his face. She noticed his troubled expression and a familiar sinking feeling appeared in the pit of her stomach. "Is everything okay?" She asked him hesitantly, unsure whether or not she really wanted to know. She wasn't sure that she could handle any more bad news.

With all that had been going on Clare hadn't had much opportunity to speak to him lately, and although she'd missed him, the few conversations that they'd shared in passing at the Compound had mostly been about hospital visits, or how Justin seemed to be coping with everything. Clare realised as she looked into his deep blue eyes that they still hadn't had a chance to talk about their spontaneous kiss; not that it seemed appropriate to mention after all that had happened since. It was almost as though everything that had happened before the accident had been during another lifetime.

She hadn't had much chance to speak to him recently due to all that had been going on with Libby, and when they had spoken most of their conversation had revolved around hospital visits, or how Justin seemed to be coping with everything, and Clare realised with disappointment that she still hadn't had a chance to talk to him about their spontaneous kiss. Not that it had seemed appropriate to mention after all that had happened since.

JC took a deep breath and sat himself on the couch facing her. Taking his lead, Clare perched on the edge of her desk and began anxiously chewing on a fingernail as she analysed the expression on his face. She had a feeling that she wasn't going to like what he was about to say. He leaned forward in the seat and rested his elbows on his knees, reaching a hand up to run through his dark hair.

"Clare, do you remember that night in your room when we kissed?" He asked tentatively as he met her eyes.

Clare felt like rolling her eyes. Of course I remember. She nodded and tried to fight back the smile that threatened to spread across her face at the memory. She could tell that he wasn't finished and that her smile could be premature, if not inappropriate.

"That night meant so much to me for so many reasons. I can't tell you how long I've been wanting—waiting—for something to happen between us—"

Clare bit down onto her bottom lip. Despite having longed to hear him say those very words aloud, his tone failed to fill her with the confidence that she'd hoped they might. The sinking feeling remained in her stomach.

"—But there's something I need to tell you, and I don't think you're going to like it—"

"Okay," Clare said uneasily, narrowing her eyes slightly at him. What could he possibly have to say that I'm not going to like?  Her nerves were too fried to tolerate any suspense, and she hoped that he would get it over with quickly.

Glancing down at his hands, JC took another deep breath before squeezing his eyes closed tightly. He let his head fall back and when he opened his eyes, he glanced down at her through his lashes with a tortured look on his face.

"What is it, Josh?" Clare asked nervously. His delay was only making her feel more uneasy.

"I don't know how I'm gonna say this..." he said, rubbing a hand over the stubble on his chin. Clare fought back the panic as she realised for the first time that what he had to say was bad news. Very bad. In all the time she'd known him, she'd never seen him like this.

"Then say it quickly," she told him. "Please, you're freaking me out." Whatever it was that she needed to hear, if it was going to be painful then it was better to do it quickly. Like removing a Band–Aid. One sharp pain and then it'd all be over.

"Quickly. Right." He looked her in the eye and grimaced, anticipating her reaction before he'd even finished speaking. "Me and Alyson are getting back together," he said in a rush. "For good."

Clare stared at him in silence, her eyes flicking between both of his as she stared at the agonised expression on his face. Somehow she found to strength not to let her reaction show. "Right..." she muttered bitterly, "well, thanks for the news flash. I've actually got work to do here so..." Her eyes flicked momentarily to the door and she wondered if she had time to leave before she started to cry. If I run out will he follow me?

"Wait!" JC exclaimed jumping to his feet as Clare turned away from him to hide her face. "I need to explain why..." He said as he held out his palm towards her, hoping to stop her from shutting him out.

Clare tried to ignore the stabbing feeling in her heart and squeezed her eyes shut so that she wouldn't cry. What is he doing to me? Doesn't he realise that everything in my life has been turned upside down? Does he really want to deliver the final blow?

"No, you don't," she told him angrily as she turned back around to face him. "You don't have to explain anything. You and Alyson are getting back together. Great! I hope you'll both be very happy together," she said bitterly, the sarcasm in her voice barely concealed.

"Clare, please listen to me!" JC begged heading across the room to her and reaching out to grasp her arm in his hand.

Clare wrenched her arm out of his grasp angrily and turned around to face him with fire in her eyes. "Don't touch me!" She growled. "You know how I feel about you—you've known all along—and yet you play with my feelings while pursuing her! You've chosen now—the worst time in my life—to tell me that you're seeing another woman. You really are a heartless bastard!" She yelled, and the tears began to pour down her cheeks.

JC hung his head as her words cut him deep. Everything Clare had said had been completely true, and yet he had no one to blame but himself. If only he hadn't gone with Alyson that night; if only he'd listened to his gut instinct and said goodbye to her at the door as he'd initially intended. But it was too late for what ifs.

He might've royally messed everything up, but there were some things that he couldn't stand by and ignore. Alyson had told him that day over lunch, and since then he hadn't been able to push aside the sick feeling that had settled in his stomach. As much as it destroyed him to do so, he knew that he needed to be fair to Clare. He had to be honest with her.

Alyson was having his child, and he had no choice but to stand by her, even if it meant hurting Clare—and himself—in the process. There were some things that it was worth making sacrifices for, he'd told himself over and over during the car ride to the Compound. Now he just hoped that after telling Clare the news he'd actually start to believe it.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Jamie sat in the middle of her sofa, cross legged with her laptop sitting across her lap. Although she was dressed in comfortable pyjama bottoms and a lacy camisole top, she still wasn't ready for bed.

Ever since she'd taken a glance at her schedule back at the Compound and looked at her 'to do' pile—really looked, not just fleetingly like she had been doing—she hadn't been able to unwind. There was still so much to do, and she was the only person who could do it. Each day it seemed the pile of paperwork on her desk grew by about an inch, and she was certain that she'd begun to hear the wood groaning under the strain.

Despite putting in almost ten hour days, she still wasn't making much impact on it all and now she'd even resorted to spending her evenings and days off working from home.

To his credit, Chris had been doing his best to help her out, or at least trying to distract her when she needed a break—not that she ever admitted to needing a break—but since he was working just as hard on preparing for the tour, a lot of the time he'd called a truce and left her to it. Tonight was no exception. He'd gone off to bed at least an hour or so before and although she'd promised to join him not too long after, Jamie was still unable to switch off from what she was doing.

Ten minutes turned into twenty, then forty and then an hour. Still she wasn't satisfied. There simply weren't enough hours in the day, or night, to get it all done; and even in her sleep she dreamt of drowning under a sea of paperwork.

Rubbing at her tired eyes, Jamie glanced away from her computer screen momentarily to check the time from the clock on the wall. She groaned aloud. Two thirteen a.m. She'd been at it for five hours and she still wasn't satisfied that she'd made decent enough headway before calling it a night.

"Are you still up?" Jamie heard a groggy voice ask, and she turned her head towards the doorway that led to the two bedrooms. Kelly stood there sleepily, rubbing one of her eyes with a balled up fist as she regarded Jamie with her other eye and let out a loud yawn. She was wearing spotty pyjama bottoms, and a colour coordinated camisole top.

"Yes," Jamie replied in a hushed voice, "only don't tell Chris. The last thing I need is earache from him..."

"Too late," Kelly replied as she heard him padding along the hallway behind her in his bare feet and glanced over her shoulder to offer him a sleepy smile. She quickly glanced back at Jamie, mouthed the word 'whoops' at her before disappearing back to the guest bedroom.

"Jam, its two a.m.!" Chris exclaimed as he walked through the doorway and looked disapprovingly over at her. He scowled at the laptop and headed over to attempt to remove it from her lap. "You've gotta stop now," he said gently but firmly but Jamie swung the laptop over of his reach and cradled it to her chest.

"There's still so much to do and if I don't do it then it won't get done!" She reasoned, repositioning the laptop back onto her folded legs and looking at him accusingly.

"Then it doesn't get done..." he said, making another attempt to reach for the computer. Jamie glowered at him but was too slow to react and he successfully pulled it away from her and walked determinedly across the room to place the laptop on the dining table. Knowing how furious she'd be if he closed it down before allowing her the chance to save her work, Chris left the screen up and turned around to face her, blocking her view of the computer with his body.

"You can't work all day and night in front of that thing. It's not good for you," he chided, his expression a mixture of disappointment and concern.

Jamie crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, feeling like a little kid being told off for staying up too late on a school night. "I'm requesting a health and safety inspection on the concert venues," she told him petulantly. "Are you sure you want to fly over the crowd in a harness during 'Sailing' without a health and safety inspector having checked it out?"

Chris held her gaze and narrowed his eyes slightly. She knew full well how much he hated heights, and how paranoid he always was about the Sailing 'gag', but he still wasn't going to let this go. He pulled a face but refused to be drawn in.

"Make it a priority for tomorrow," he said eventually, crossing the room and grabbing her hand to pull her up off the couch.

"You know, you never gave me this much grief before," Jamie told him as she allowed him to pull her out of her seat. She reluctantly made her way over to her laptop, saved the document that she'd been working on and closed it down before shutting off the power completely.

Despite her desire to finish her work, Jamie was secretly relieved that Chris had interrupted her. She needed reminding every now and again that there was more to life than work. Although, it seemed ironic that this task fell to Chris­—probably the person most capable of reminding her about her job.

"That's because we weren't dating before," he reminded her gently. "As your boyfriend it is my responsibility to give you all the grief I possibly can. Especially when it comes to you overworking."

Jamie giggled and allowed him to drag her by her arm through the apartment towards her bedroom. She placed a hand over her mouth to muffle the laughter as they passed by the guest bedroom, not wanting to disturb Kelly, who she was aware could probably hear them through the thin walls anyway.

Once inside her comfortable room and with the door closed behind them, Jamie threw herself face forward into the middle of her large, queen–size bed and stifled a groan as her back contorted painfully. The hours of sitting scrunched over her computer screen hadn't done her back any favours, and she realised now that she'd have an agonising night of cramps ahead of her for her efforts. She wriggled around trying various positions until the pain somewhat subsided.

"Backache?" Chris asked knowingly as he sat on the edge of the bed and gazed down at her with a sideways smirk. Compared to the other members of *NSYNC, Chris spent a lot of his free time on the computer working on his clothing line and other projects, and so he knew all about the effects sitting behind a computer screen for hours on end did to a person.

"Mmm..." Jamie mumbled as she turned onto her side to face him. She drew her knees up to her chest and arched her back but it made no difference. The cramps in the base of her spine refused to be soothed.

"Turn over. I'll give you a massage," Chris said as he shuffled forward on his knees and hovered next to her, waiting for her to roll back onto her stomach so that he could massage her back. Jamie happily complied and flipped over onto her stomach, letting out a contented sigh as she felt his warm hands settle onto her shoulder blades.

Five minutes into her massage and she was fast asleep.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare sat with Libby on the second of her daily visits, staring at her best friend's face and trying to think of something to say. It was so hard to keep the visits from falling into silence, especially as it was all relying on one person.

It really hurt her that she couldn't talk to Libby. Really talk. She thought that she'd been upset before, but after JC's admission... needless to say, she needed her best friend more than ever.

Clare chewed down onto her bottom lip as the tears began to form in her eyes. She literally felt as though everything in her life was falling apart. Sure, she'd experienced bad times in the past. In fact, her first few months in the States had been pretty intense and stressful, but she'd pulled through it. She was tough and determined, but this was something else. There'd never been a time in her life when she didn't have Libby with her for moral support. And now the accident had ripped her friend from her. It was too much to handle.

At least her insomnia had finally broken. She'd guessed that at some point it would. That the exhaustion would finally take over and she'd have to sleep. But now she felt as though she were permanently in a haze, even when she was awake. Her limbs felt constantly heavy, and as well as fighting through the panic attacks that grabbed her at the most unexpected times, she was struggling to keep her head in the game. There was no relief to be found anywhere; at home or now at work. Her place of solitude had become just another place she wished to avoid; and it was all because of one person. Alyson.

Clare bit back a sob at the thought of the woman's name. She blinked several times and forced her eyes to remain on Libby's still face. She needed to be present, not thinking about JC and his... Clare bit harder down onto her lip. Don't cry, don't cry...

She took two deep breaths and forced herself to push her thoughts of JC and Alyson to the back of her mind. This wasn't helping, and it certainly wasn't fair on Libby. Libby needed her, and she wanted to be there for her friend. Fortunately, as she was trying to regain her composure, Clare remembered that she'd bought something in for Libby from home and she snatched her handbag up off the floor and shuffled through it, trying to find the item that she was looking for.

Once she grasped it between her fingers, Clare pulled the photo frame out from her bag and turned it around so that she could see the photograph inside. A sad smile crossed her face as she regarded a slightly younger version of herself and Libby, their arms wrapped tightly around each other as they beamed comically at the camera.

It was a photograph that Libby had asked her mother to take a few years before when Clare and she had both still been living in the UK. For some reason Libby loved the photo and kept it beside her bed at the apartment. Clare wasn't that much of a fan; she'd always thought that she was pulling a strange face in it. However, knowing how much Libby loved it, Clare had decided to bring it in from home to place on her friend's new 'bedside table'.

She pulled out the flap at the back of the frame that helped it to stand upright and placed it on the small table next to the vase of flowers that Libby's mother kept filled with beautiful, scented flowers. Catherine had told Clare in passing that Libby had loved the smell of flowers as a girl, and had even been given her own patch in the family garden back home in England to grow some of her own.

Clare had taken up the idea, and since then had started bringing in her own reminders from home so that Libby would feel comfortable in her hospital room. It was only a small gesture, and Clare knew that Libby was completely unaware of it, but it still made her feel better to know that she'd made the effort.

Justin, on the other hand, had taken the idea to an extreme. Since the day after Libby's operation he'd seemed to have gone into overdrive and had transformed Libby's room until it barely resembled the sparse, clinical space that it had been before. Fortunately, the hospital staff had been understanding and had even encouraged him in his endeavour, although Clare felt that he may have taken things a bit too far.

There was now a new comforter over the bottom of Libby's bed—Justin had insisted on taking Clare shopping with him to get exactly the right colour—he'd collected and bought in the posters that Libby had taped to her bedroom walls at the apartment. And— strangest of all, Clare had thought—he'd driven all the way to Disneyworld to buy a Donald Duck plushie, which Libby had apparently wanted when they'd gone there as a group but hadn't been able to afford to buy at the time. When he'd explained to her his intentions, Clare had thought that he'd lost the plot but he'd been so adamant that Clare had decided to wash her hands of it. What he spent his money on had nothing to do with her, she'd reminded herself.

But that wasn't all; Justin had even spoken to Libby's medical team to ask whether it would be possible for Libby to wear some of her own clothes, rather than the hospital gowns that had been provided for her. To Clare's surprise they had agreed, and Clare had been asked by Justin to pack a small suitcase of clothes for Libby to wear—mainly sweatpants and t–shirts that wouldn't interfere with the tube in Libby's throat that was connecting her to the ventilator—so that she might feel more comfortable.

Although it had sounded like an easy task, it had actually been the catalyst for another war between them. They'd had a big falling out over Clare's choice of clothes, with Justin insisting that Libby wear one of his old fleeces that he claimed she had stolen from him and loved to wear.

Clare hadn't been convinced. She'd never seen Libby in the said fleece and had told Justin as much to his face. Naturally, he'd kicked off again and Clare had been forced to relent rather than deal with his extended tantrum. However, the resentment between them had returned and Clare was back to avoiding him as much as was possible.

However, despite this, Clare couldn't argue that since that day at the hospital Justin's attitude had completely changed. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do if he thought that it might aid Libby's recovery and he'd spent hours on the internet researching how to help take care of her. He'd been so reliable and attentive to his visiting times that it made Clare feel ashamed when she'd had to occasionally miss her afternoon visits due to work commitments.

There wasn't a day that went past when Justin didn't make each and every visit that he was scheduled for—despite the fact that he was in the middle of rehearsing and preparing for the tour. In fact, he'd even asked to be taught how to run through Libby's daily physio exercises, which Catherine had been carrying out alongside the nurses so that Libby wouldn't develop muscle wastage in her arms and legs. It had been quite a shock to Catherine, but it'd been obvious by her expression how much it had meant to her that Justin had asked.

Clare could only hope that if—when—Libby recovered, she wouldn't mind Justin's almost constant need to be around her. Clare could tell that he was forming quite an intense bond with her friend—on top of the one that was already there—and she hoped that Libby wouldn't be confused by how involved he'd become in her day–to–day life. It was endearing to see, and already it was easy to mistake the two of them for being in a romantic relationship by the way he was taking such good care of her.

Clare eyed the tatty fleece that Libby was wearing and rolled her eyes. "So, I see you're wearing that old fleece again, Libs," Clare muttered dryly. She thought back to the furious look on Justin's face that day at the apartment and shook her head as a smile tugged at her lips. He'd been so angry... so self–righteous that day. "Talk about stubborn..."

Despite her anger at him, Clare couldn't deny that his feelings had come from a good place. She secretly liked the way that he was trying to redeem himself after that infamous day at the hospital, but it still infuriated her when his protectiveness was aimed in her direction. As if she'd do anything to hurt Libby. The idea was ridiculous.

"I bought in your picture from home," Clare said as she turned her head to look at the photo frame. "I know you like it, and I thought you'd want it with you. Not that you can see it..." she said and uttered a dry chuckle.

Her eyes widened as she realised that it was the first time that she'd made a joke about Libby's condition. It concerned her how easy she'd found humour in the situation, but at the same time, it'd felt so natural. Their friendship was based on gentle teasing and playful banter. Libby had a good sense of humour, and Clare knew that if the shoe was on the other foot then Libby would be cracking jokes at her, too.

"Oh, Lib. Can't you open your eyes for me? So much has happened recently and I've really missed being able to talk to you. There really isn't anyone else I open up to as much as you..." Clare said sadly as she stared at her friend's face. It was true. Although Clare knew that she could easily talk to one of the other women at the Compound, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Whether or not Lisa and Jamie knew about JC and Alyson seemed irrelevant. Clare still wanted to talk to Libby. Libby was the only person who would know exactly how she was feeling.

Stretching her aching legs out in front of her, Clare glanced from Libby's face to her wrist watch. She still had another thirty minutes before her visit was over and so she decided to take a short break and head to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee. She'd still have time to come back and spend another ten minutes or so with Libby before she had to leave.

"I'm just gonna go and get a coffee," she said to Libby as she got to her felt and leaned over the bed to kiss her friend affectionately on the forehead—a habit that she'd decided to stick with. "I'll be right back."

~~~~~*~~~~~

After collecting her coffee from the hospital cafeteria, Clare made her way outside to the small memorial garden just outside the hospital wing where Libby was staying. It had been planted in memory of one of the surgeons who had helped to fund the building of the hospital and was especially beautiful with its large overhanging trees, colour coordinated flower beds and even a trickling water feature in the centre.

There was a particular tree in the garden which Clare tended to sit under during her coffee breaks—food and drink wasn't allowed into the ICU—and she had affectionately come to think of it as 'her' tree. For some reason, sitting there on the grass with the sound of the wind blowing through the lush, green leaves above helped to clear her mind and remind her that even though she currently had a lot of sadness in her life, she still had a lot to be thankful for.

Tucking her legs underneath her, Clare leaned back until she could feel the roughness of the tree trunk's bark pressing against her shoulder blades. She shuffled around a little until she felt comfortable and rolled her head back, letting it fall against the trunk. Closing her eyes, Clare turned her face up towards where the sun was breaking through the gaps in the leaves and allowed the warmth to soothe the tiredness in her aching eyes.

Just as she was about to raise her head to take a sip from her polystyrene coffee cup, Clare heard a familiar voice say, "A penny for them?" And she opened one eye lazily and peeped up at her friend.

Sara stood over her with one hand held to her temple where she was trying to block some of the brightness of the sun so that she could see Clare's face without having to squint. When she met her friend's eyes she gave her a warm smile which Clare struggled to return.

"Rose! I haven't seen you lately, how are you?"

Rose crouched down and made herself comfortable beside Clare on the grass. She eyed the forlorn look on her friend's face, the redness of her eyes and the dark circles underneath them and felt a deep sadness for her friend. This wasn't the happy, go–lucky woman that she knew.

"I'm fine, thank you," Sara answered politely, turning her gaze away from her friend's face so that she wouldn't think that she was staring. "I've been busy with the preparations for the tour, same as us all."

Clare nodded and her eyes fell onto the grass in front of her. She really had to keep pinching herself to remember about the tour. Normally it would have been at the forefront of her mind—after all, this wasn't the first tour she'd had to prepare for—but now...

"So..." Sara continued amiably in a bright voice, "What’s been happening with you? I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch lately..." Sara swallowed, wanting to say more but at the same time knowing that she shouldn't. Even to her ears her words sounded too dismissive, too cheerful. Lord knows there'd barely been a day that had passed without her wanting to call Clare, or drop by the apartment to see her, but she'd agreed with Jamie and Lisa that it was best to give Clare her space. None of them had wanted to be a pain, or get in the way, which—now that she had occasion to think about it—had meant that they may have been a little too aloof, too distant. Sara hoped that they hadn't made a mistake.

Clare grimaced and gave Sara a sideways glance, her eyes tight. "Oh, I'm sure you've heard..." she replied dryly.

"I hear a lot of things," Sara replied honestly. "I usually don't pay them any attention until I hear it directly from the person themselves."

Clare let out a deep sigh and reached out to pull a few blades of grass from the soil before rolling them absent–mindedly between her fingers. Already there was a slightly worn patch around where she usually sat to drink her coffee and Clare realised with dismay that it was most likely her doing.

"I'm so fed up of being wrapped up in my own problems," Clare answered honestly, an edge visible in her voice. She glanced at Sara with hopeful eyes. "I want to think about happier things... how's that gorgeous brother of yours?"

Sara beamed at her, slightly relieved by the change in conversation. Not that she wasn't fully prepared to talk about Libby, or JC—she was—but she was grateful not to have to. She wasn't good at heavy conversations, and they would most definitely be heavy. "He's fine. He's been in France on a shoot."

Clare smiled back brighter this time, but it still didn't reach her sad eyes. "Very exciting."

"Yeah," Sara agreed. "He's visiting again next week for a couple of days... Hey! How about you come out with us one evening?" Sara asked her face lighting up at the idea. She leaned over to nudge Clare playfully. "It could be fun to hit the town together. You know, let your hair down a bit. Whaddya say?"

Although Clare was touched by the invitation, she really wasn't in the mood for going out. "Thanks, Sara, but I don't really think so. I've got so much work to catch up on, and besides, you and Jace won't want my miserable face following you around."

"Pah!" Sara scoffed, dismissing Clare's words with a wave of her hand. "Don't be ridiculous. Besides, it'd be lovely to be the ones to bring a smile to your face again. And, you know if I'm not able to convince you then Jason certainly will!"

Clare felt the corners of her mouth pull up into a somewhat reluctant smile as she remembered the last time she'd tried to get out of going out with the pair of them...

+ + +

It had been around the middle of November the year before, and Clare remembered that it'd been especially cold for the time of year. Especially for Florida.

Jason had asked Clare to go out with him and Sara to celebrate Christmas a month early as he'd had a job booked over the actual festive period and therefore would miss out on the festivities.

Clare had refused—as usual—stating that she had way too much work to do but Jason hadn't bought it. After hearing her utter the first words of her explanation of why she couldn't go, Jason had forced her to the floor and sat on her lap for a good twenty minutes until her legs had gone numb under the weight of his body.

"You gonna come clubbin' with me?" He'd asked her again through his laughter. Clare had scowled at him, pretending that she was furious but the laughter in her eyes had given her away.

"No way, Blondie!" She'd snapped at him. "I've told you I've got too much work to do!" She'd tried her best to shove him away with her arms but he was too strong. He'd just stared down at her panicked face and continued to laugh.

"Wrong answer!" He'd roared manically and had jumped to his feet, grabbing her around the wrists before she'd had a chance to escape. He'd pulled her through her own apartment towards the main bathroom, with Clare struggling to grip her heels into the carpet the whole way.

Once inside the bathroom he'd dumped her—fully clothed—into the shower cubicle as she'd screamed blue murder at him. Placing his hand over the water dial, Jason had eyed her carefully, one eyebrow raised in anticipation of what was to come.

"I'll give you one more chance, Clare," he'd told her evenly as his fingers tightened over the dial. "Are you going to come with us?"

"I can't!" Clare had squealed apologetically as the laughter rocked through her body. She'd looked at him helplessly, her eyes wide with panic at what was to come.

Jason had immediately twisted the dial changing the water temperature to intense cold before slamming his hand down on the button, sending a shower of freezing cold water spraying all over Clare.

Screaming, Clare had tried to jump out of the cubicle but Jason had anticipated her move and had held the door closed firmly, blocking her exit. He'd stood there, a beaming grin on his face, not letting her leave or turning the water off until she'd agreed—through chattering teeth—to go with them.

Naturally, after that she'd caught a roaring cold and hadn't been able to go out with them anyway, but still... she'd never forgotten that.

+ + +

Jason had always been the practical joker in his family, and rarely—if ever—took no for an answer. Still, he was a good guy with a big heart and Clare always seemed to have a good time when he was around. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if she decided to go out with him and Sara, but she would leave that up to them to convince her.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

Lance and Jenny sat together on the deck at the rear of Lance's new Florida home, cuddled up as they watched the stars in the night sky above them. They had both officially started dating not too long after Libby's accident, although they had been keeping things low key and hadn't yet said anything to their friends.

Lance had been shocked by Justin's reaction to Libby's accident. Not by Justin's feelings—he was already well aware of those—but by how devastated he'd been at what had happened. He'd realised that his friend was most upset about the fact that he'd never really told Libby how he felt about her, and it upset Lance to think that he never might. It had caused him to analyse his own heart, and he'd decided that life was too short not to grasp at happiness with both hands. Consequently, he'd opened himself up to Jenny and told her how grateful he was to have her in his life.

Lance cleared his throat and pushed forward with the toes of his sneakers, setting the swinging bench that he and Jenny were sitting on back into a swinging motion. They'd been sitting in a comfortable silence for a while but Lance had remembered that earlier in the evening Jenny had mentioned that she had something to tell him. And now that he'd remembered, his curiosity was getting the better of him.

"So what's this news?" He asked her as he pulled her closer to him with his arm and smiled as she settled back against his chest.

Jenny was silent for a moment and then let out a little sigh before turning her head to look at him. He could tell at once at the change in her face that he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

"I've got to go back to Missouri," she said evenly, watching his face carefully for a reaction. Lance met her eyes, his stomach sinking with disappointment.

"When?"

Jenny sighed again. "A week or two. My mom is unwell and when this semester's over I'm going home to look after her."

Lance nodded sadly. He knew that Jenny's mother hadn't been well for a while and he was sorry to hear that she seemed to be deteriorating. He knew that Jenny was close with her family and it didn't surprise him at all that she would want to be at home to help out, but still he couldn't help but feel disappointed for himself.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is it serious?"

"It's quite serious. Dad said the doctors told him that it's treatable, so she'll be okay. But he's struggling to take care of her and the house. He needs me there, and I want to be there for mom, too."

Lance listened in silence but nodded encouragingly as she spoke. He knew that were he in the same position that he would do the same thing. Neither could he ignore the fact that he, too, would soon be leaving to go on tour for several months. It would be pointless and selfish of him to try and convince Jenny to change her mind when he was about to leave as well.

"You'll call though, right?"

Jenny smiled although it didn't reach her eyes. "Of course," she said, "If you want me to."

"I will," Lance replied earnestly. "I know I'll be busy with the tour but I'll look forward to hearing from you." He bowed his head and placed a kiss on Jenny's lips. He knew that he'd miss her like crazy when she went away but he was also a firm believer in the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', and he knew that they'd be okay.

‘The dove is a sign of peace,
The dove is a sign of love.
But only us two people
Know of the purple dove.

When night stars are shining and twinkling up above,
Always keep an eye out for the purple dove.
It flits so fast across the sky; it brings back old memories to me.
As you sit and watch it fly by, you'll know it was sent by me.
From the night sky it came, telling you I miss you,
Its soft coo reminds me of your voice, so distant and far away.
If your eyes were open you missed it,
For its only in our minds.

But when the sun goes down and there's only night sky.
If you see a purple dove remember that a loved one sent it from afar,
She says she misses you and wishes you were here.
But only if you're true to me will the purple dove appear.
So sing a song of peace, sing a song of love,
Sing a song of glory and the purple dove.'

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Clare sat alone in the office feeling sorry for herself. Ever since JC's announcement, the Compound had become another place where she found it almost unbearable to be. It didn't help that she kept bumping into him at work, either. It seemed that the Universe had a sick sense of humour and kept forcing them to face each other even though it was obvious to everyone else that they were trying their best to avoid doing just that.

Clare knew that it was crazy, that they'd never actually been a couple and therefore she had no reason to feel this way, but she couldn't help feeling as though he'd betrayed her. He'd had no right to lead her on and kiss her like that if he'd also been spending time romantically with his ex. She'd never have allowed him to make the moves on her that night if she'd known however much she might've wanted him to.

Since his revelation, Clare had tried her best to remain professional around JC, but it had become a daily struggle; especially when they were in the company of the other guys.  The anger and resentment that she felt for him had no appropriate outlet and so it grew inside of her making her feel bitterer every day.

Clare was almost finished with the latest update of the official *NSYNC website when her desk phone started to ring. It was the first time that it had rung all morning—which was unusual—but at least it had meant that she had been able to carry on with her work without interruptions.

"You've reached the official *NSYNC fan club. My name is Clare, how can I help you?"

Clare listened to the voice on the other end as it mumbled on, her face turning the colour of beetroot and her blood pressuring rising with each passing word. Part of her wanted to slam the phone straight down in the receiver but she was too professional for that. She half–listened as she mentally told herself to get a grip and take a deep breath, preparing her answer for when she would inevitably be given the chance to speak.

"No, he's not around," she said finally putting just enough edge in her voice to get her point across. "This is an official number for the fan club and is not for personal calls. I will pass on your message on this occasion but in the future you need to call him on his personal number. Goodbye."

Clare slammed the receiver down and placed her hands on the desk in front of her, her fingers shaking with the tension of keeping it together. There was no other word for it—she was fuming.

Fighting the voice inside of her that told her to remain professional and not let her emotions get the better of her, Clare rushed to her feet and stormed out of her office heading straight towards the stairwell.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Sup?" Chris asked Clare as she appeared in the doorway of the games room downstairs only a few minutes later. In his hand was a pool cue, and he shifted his body weight so that he was leaning against it while he waited for Joey to take his turn.

As he gazed at her casually, Chris noticed the furious expression on Clare's face and he quickly—and slightly comically—made his way over to the other side of the pool table where he could watch what looked to be an apparent show–down from a safer distance. Joey straightened up from where he was bent over practicing his shot and exchanged a look with Chris, who shrugged back innocently.

"I've got a message for you," Clare spat as she found JC sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. He looked up in surprise at the sound of her voice, and noticing the expression on her face, his eyes widened in alarm. "Alyson wants you to call her," Clare sneered, letting the words linger in the air for a moment, aware that the other members of the group had sucked in sharp breaths and turned to look at JC, awaiting his response.

"I am not your personal answering service, nor am I a secretary, so don't use me as one! In future, if you want your personal calls answered then give out your cell number not the number to my office. Because if I get any—and I mean any—personal calls for you again, then I will break both of your legs!"

She turned on her heel, her face flushing scarlet, and stormed back out the way she'd come without another word.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

 

Lisa stood hesitantly outside the door to the college auditorium where her next class was scheduled to be held. She leaned forward onto the balls of her feet, tilting her three inch cream stilettos forward until she was able to peer into the small glass window in the centre of the door. It sucked being short, she grumbled to herself as she peered through the glass and focused her eyes on the lecturer's podium.

To her relief, she noticed the absence of her lecturer's bag, which assured her that he hadn't yet arrived. It meant that she still had some time left to decide whether she really wanted to attend this class, or not.

Since waking up that morning, Lisa hadn't been feeling at all well and she'd carried the niggling feeling in her stomach that she was making a mistake attending the day's lectures the entire journey to campus. She'd forced herself to make the effort, but now that she was almost in class, she'd had to fight the devil on her shoulder that had been persistently asking her why she'd bothered.

She didn't have a retort.

"It's not like I'm missing anything important anyway," she muttered to herself before quickly ducking out of the way of the door as another student tried to brush past her to get inside.

She watched them plod across the floor and ascend the carpeted steps before claiming a seat in the third row and Lisa realised at that moment that she had no intention of following them. She hoiked her backpack higher onto her right shoulder and turned, preparing to make her escape now that she'd actually made her decision.

Lisa couldn't fight the voice of her conscience that told her that this was wrong; that it wasn't like her to want to skip class, and that something had to be up for her to do so. But she shrugged it away, not wanting to dwell on it.

She just wasn't feeling well, she told herself as she made her way along the corridors of the college in the direction from which she had just come. She'd been feeling nauseas and dizzy for a couple of days and had assumed that she was coming down with the fluey stomach bug that she'd heard had been doing the rounds.

She let out a small sigh as she turned the corner of the building and headed straight for the nearest exit, which conveniently happened to open onto to the same car lot where she'd parked her car. It wouldn't have been right for her to knowingly risk infecting the rest of her class mates with her illness, she continued to assure herself. And, it could be argued that staying away was actually a pretty selfless act. It was something that she'd have to remind herself later when the feelings of guilt came back to haunt her.

Lisa punched down onto the metal push bar on the door with the heels of her hands and stepped outside into the bright sunshine. She squinted against the glare and reached for the pair of sunglasses that she'd pushed back onto the crown of her head. Sometimes the sun in Florida was just too damn bright, she thought moodily as she stepped down the curb and headed straight for her car.

Despite being a fully grown woman and more than capable of making her own decisions, Lisa couldn't help but fall into a little skipping jog as she headed towards her vehicle. Even though she had no intentions of changing her mind, she still didn't want to be caught in the act of sneaking off campus. She was a goodie–goodie at heart and probably always would be.

It was only once she was safely inside the car, with her seatbelt secured around her chest and waist and the vibration of the engine trembling away beneath her feet and purring in her ears, that she felt the full sense of relief wash over her. I've done it! A rebellious smile tugged at her lips as she backed out of the bay and steered the car out of the lot and towards the freeway.

She lowered the window and let the breeze send her hair fluttering around her face. She was going to go home, run a bath and soak away her worries.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby felt herself 'wake' with a start from yet another dream where she was lying on a sandy beach, completely unable to move her arms or legs or even speak a word, as the waves continued to crash steadily closer and closer to her body. She'd felt the panic rise up within her, but just like all the other times, she'd been unable to do anything to help herself from being washed out to sea. It was eerily similar to the way that she felt when she was 'awake'.

Libby had spent quite a bit of time in and out of wakefulness since the accident. Enough to be able to tell the difference between the two, anyway. Although she had no awareness of time or space, she could definitely tell when she was dreaming. Purely because usually in her dreams she was completely mobile and able to say all the things that she'd been struggling—craving—to say but couldn't.

She'd had a dream where she was ten again and back in the UK, reliving the moment when she'd first met Clare. Only this time, instead of having been the shy, reserved girl that she'd been on that fateful meeting, she'd reached for her friend and pulled her into a bone–crushing hug, crying and sobbing into her hair as she'd told her—over and over—how much she loved her.

She'd had dreams about the rest of her friends, too. She'd chewed out Lisa for having still not answered Joey's proposal and then set about arranging the most avant–garde and ridiculous wedding that Lisa had flatly refused to be involved in.

She'd dreamt that Chris had grown his hair so long and thick that he'd made it into a makeshift canoe and they'd sailed around the world's oceans together, sharing stories about his time as a merman and her as a toreador.

And Justin... there had been so many involving Justin. It surprised her how big of a presence he had in her subconscious and they were usually the dreams that she tried to fight away, the feelings of panic and grief afterwards almost overwhelming and suffocating her. They were the kind of dreams that she almost wished that she would die from rather than having to have them come to an end. Especially from the fact that they felt so real... his blue eyes staring longingly into hers; the way he'd pull her into his arms and hold her as if he would never let her go, and his kisses... Oh, his kisses. If she'd been able to physically cry then she was certain that she'd have shed an ocean of tears over the way he'd kissed her in her dreams.

Even though she had no idea whether it were day or night, Libby was occasionally able to focus enough on her surroundings to make sense of what was happening around her.

She was aware when the nurses came in to take her blood pressure and change her catheter bag. At lunchtime, when she'd hear the squeaking wheels of the lunch trolley passing by her room. Even the sounds of the evening staff greeting their day counterparts and clocking on. They were usually so happy to see each other, their meetings loud and often raucous.

There was one particular part of her day which Libby had come to recognise; early in the morning a woman would come into her room to sweep and mop the floors. Although she never said a word to her, Libby had come to recognise the same tune she whistled as she went about her work. It was comforting to hear her each and every morning.

Not too long after this, a nurse would usually arrive to run through a series of physio exercises so Libby wouldn't develop bedsores from staying still for so long. She would manipulate her arms and legs to help prevent muscle wastage and to keep her joints flexible. The only reason that Libby knew this was because the nurse had explained to her—before even touching her—what she was about to do and why. It had meant so much to Libby to be treated as a person, rather than just a body in a bed.

She was so grateful to all the staff for the way they spoke so kindly and encouragingly to her as they carried out their work. The overwhelming fear and horror she'd felt at her situation had had the edges smoothed off somewhat by the way the hospital staff seemed to understand that she was still able to hear and understand them. And although she wasn't able to respond, she still deserved to be told what was happening to her, and why.

Libby hoped that one day she'd be able to tell them how helpful and reassuring they had been and how much she'd appreciated their kindness. It was important to her that if she did manage to find a way out of the darkness that she remember the lesson's that she'd learned, and how the small things in life were really the most important.

Had the staff not been so understanding and considerate, Libby felt that she would most likely have remained completely petrified by what was happening to her. It was such a surreal and terrifying feeling to be in the world and yet find it completely out of her reach.

She was conscious enough to realise that her accident had somehow detached her mind from her body, and she knew that until she found a way to reconnect the two that she would be stuck in this horrific, endlessly black reality that she found herself in. Often, the thought made her want to cry and scream out loud, but most of the time she simply found herself drifting back into a dream–like state. Her body couldn't seem to handle the intense stress thinking about her situation caused her and it usually just shut her thoughts and emotions down straight away and forced her to sleep. Like hitting the sleep button on her laptop computer.

When she did fall asleep, Libby's dreams were vivid and extreme, similar to when she'd had a fever in the past. A lot of the time her subconscious recounted her accident, and she saw herself from other perspectives as she crashed—again and again—into the rock face. Once, she'd even been the person who'd found her crumpled body at the bottom of the cliff though, thankfully, she had woken herself quickly from that particular nightmare. More often than not, she was merely hovering around herself like a cloud as she witnessed the event unfold.

Although she was able to recognise some voices, Libby found it difficult to remember exactly who they were, and why they were there. Often, she felt exhausted just from trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, and her head ached after her visitors had left. Really all she wanted was someone to reach out and hold her hand; tell her that they loved her and that everything was going to be okay.

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

The next day—Tuesday—started very badly for Clare. Not only had someone ratted her out to Johnny for shouting at JC—which had been accidental, apparently—and she'd consequently received a telling down over her lapse in professionalism from her boss; but ever since she'd been in a foul mood that had only led to her messing up nearly every piece of work that she'd started. She felt like a total jinx, and spent more time re–writing what she'd considered already finished than pressing forward with the huge pile of work that she still had to do. It was terribly frustrating.

At lunchtime, Chris had appeared in her office just as she'd prepared to take a break and eat the soggy cheese sandwich that she'd made that morning. She'd known at the time that it would look even less appetising by lunchtime and that she'd most likely have no interest in eating it, but all the same it gave her an excuse to take a ten minute break.

"'Sup?" Chris asked as he leaned on the doorframe and eyed her carefully. Chris had an irritating habit—irritating to Clare, at least—of being able to look both nonchalant and deeply pensive at the same time. His deep brown eyes had a way of looking straight through her and seeing exactly what she was doing her very best to conceal.

She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him slightly as she leant towards her bag and pulled out her plastic wrapped sandwich. They both eyed it suspiciously as she placed it in the middle of her desk.

Clare was right; it looked even less appetising now. She really should have made the effort to put it in the fridge or something. Given it at least half a chance.

"Is that your word of the day?" She sneered as she glanced up to look at Chris but found him still staring at her sandwich, his mouth pulled up into a slightly amused sneer. She could tell he was waiting to see if she was actually going to eat it, or whether she was going to toss it straight into the trash where it probably belonged.

He flicked his eyes up at her and shrugged good–naturedly. He was expecting her to still be pissed. He'd been there when she'd shouted at JC, after all. Knowing Clare as well as he did, he fully expected her to be snotty for the rest of the week. But least he wasn't the culprit for her bad mood, for once.

"Just wanted to let you know, we're gonna order pizza for lunch—"

"Well, whoop–de–do for you," Clare remarked as she began to peel the plastic wrap off her sandwich. She continued to stare down at it morosely and wished that he'd just leave so she could throw it away and get back to work. She'd skip lunch and get something later on her way home from the hospital. She wasn't that hungry anyway.

Chris let out a frustrated sigh but refused to be swayed. "—So I thought I'd come and ask you if you wanted any—"

"No thanks."

"—There's a deal on so we can get four large pizzas for the price of three—"

"I said no, Chris,"

"—Any toppings as well, you know. You could have your own pizza, if you like? Jamie's brought in salad, so she said no—"

"Chris! I said I don't want any!"

Chris let out another sigh and narrowed his eyes at her as he folded his arms across his chest. He knew that she was only being stubborn, but he wasn't going to take any of her crap. He was trying after all. He didn't have to make the effort. Not when she was the one avoiding him and acting like he'd...

"Clare, knock it off. You can't keep avoiding us all like this, and treating us like we're a big pain in your ass. Or weren't you listening during your little talk on 'professionalism'?"

Clare narrowed her eyes at him, her mouth twisting into a hard line. "Yeah, thanks for that by the way."

"You're welcome," he replied sarcastically and even raised his hand to his temple to offer her a mocking salute. "This, by the way, wasn’t my doing. The only reason that got back to Johnny was because we were concerned about you. He happened to walk in during us discussing it, so you can stop this 'punishing' act you've got going on. We're your friends and we care about you. So put that gross sandwich in the trash where it belongs and come and eat pizza with us."

Clare hesitated, feeling torn. It was an appealing invitation, but still...

"He's gone out for lunch, anyway," Chris replied coolly as he lifted a hand to regard his fingernails, pretending as though he didn't know the reason for her hesitation. Clare tried to control her reaction and not let her head snap up to attention at the mention of... him. Chris looked up and met her eyes, the slightest glint of amusement hidden in their depths.

"Feeling hungrier now?" He teased and flashed her a crooked smile which she couldn't ignore. The corners of her mouth pulled up, and before she knew it she was chuckling slightly.

Maybe it was just relief at knowing that she wouldn't have to eat her miserable lunch all alone in her office; or the fact that he'd known the whole time that she'd have never accepted his invitation unless JC wasn't there. She felt a slight warmth spread through her body at the thought that he'd gone out of his way to include her in the group's lunch plans even though she'd been ignoring them since the 'incident' in the games room.

Chris was right. They were her friends, and they did care about her. It wasn't fair for her to punish the whole group just because one of them had hurt her. She dipped her head as she followed Chris out of the office, feeling ashamed of her actions. She was determined to do better from now on.

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Clare watched Chris battling Joey over a heated game of foosball, she flashed a sideways glance at Lance, who was sitting beside her on the couch, his eyes also fixed on the game. The noise in the room was almost at the point of being deafening with both of the men swearing and shouting at the other as they aggressively slammed their hands over the handles, neither making particularly good progress at beating the other. It wasn't that they were equally matched, but rather that they both sucked.

"Can you believe these guys?" Clare said in a loud, deliberately slow voice to Lance as Joey began to complain—loudly—that Chris was cheating. Although he didn't seem to catch every word that she'd said, Lance heard enough to understand her meaning and began to nod, a wry smile appearing on his face.

"Children!" He remarked playfully as his eyes flicked back to the foosball table. The furious look of determination on Chris's face sent both him and Clare into a fit of giggles.

As Clare laughed, enjoying the sensation of finding something amusing for the first time in ages, a movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention and she turned her head towards the door. She was fully expecting to see Justin return from where he'd gone to hide the evidence of the pizza boxes lest Sara or one of the other choreographers discover them—the group were supposed to be avoiding carbohydrates in the run up to the tour—but instead she ended up making direct eye contact with JC.

Immediately, Clare dropped her eyes to the floor, tensing and clenching her jaw so that even Lance, who hadn't yet noticed JC's arrival, glanced at her in concern, sensing the change in her body language. His eyes flicked up at his band mate and suddenly it all made sense.

Get out, get out... Clare told herself silently as she forced her eyes to remain on the floor. Even that brief glance was enough for the look of surprise and shame on JC's face to embed in her memory, and even as she stared down unseeingly at the carpeted floor below her his face was all she could see.

She'd been having a good time with the rest of the group and had enjoyed being part of their boisterous and teasing banter once again, but all that was forgotten and wiped away by one look at JC. Clare felt her stomach constrict and the tears begin to prick at the back of her eyes and she knew that she had to get out. Only he was standing in the way of the only exit...

Clare glanced up quickly to see whether or not it was possible for her to sneak past JC without having to talk to him when she noticed a presence by his shoulder. The smile disappeared from her face as she saw JC lift his arm and sidestep slightly to allow the slightly smaller woman standing behind him to step into the room.

His eyes remained fixed on Clare's face even as his girlfriend brushed past him and he missed the winning smile that Alyson gave him as she entered the room. She didn't seem to care that he was focused on somebody else, and she shook her head with a flourish, letting her dark hair fan out slightly before it bounced back down onto her shoulders. Alyson knew that she had the attention of almost every male in the room and she was loving it.

Clare bit down hard on her tongue as she saw Alyson preen in front of the men and she fought back the urge to utter the cutting remarks that were flowing through her head. It annoyed her that they were so clearly and obviously falling into her trap and she glanced around the room at the men as her irritation at them returned. Clearly all it took to get their attention was long hair and big boobs.

Clare glanced over at JC and narrowed her eyes. Even if she gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he hadn't expected her to be there, bringing his new girlfriend to her workplace and allowing her to flaunt herself around was a really shitty thing for him to do. Clare was surprised. It wasn't like JC to be so thoughtless and insensitive.

"Hi, guys!" Alyson said brightly as though she'd known them for as many years as Clare. She flashed them each a winning smile that seemed to send them all straight back to the twelfth grade. Clare was grateful at that moment that Justin wasn't with the group. For if Alyson had used any of her tactics on him she'd have been unable to hold herself back, both for herself and most especially for Libby. Clare knew what Alyson was up to and the thought disgusted her. She might have their attention for now, but her scheming, manipulative ways wouldn't remain hidden forever. She hadn't so easily forgotten about the little incident with the newspaper...

As if noticing Clare's presence for the first time, Alyson smiled brightly at her and made her way over to where Clare was still sitting beside Lance. Clare wanted to jump up and run as fast as she could from the room to avoid this inevitable, excruciating moment but her legs were ignoring her brain's instructions and she was left helpless in her seat.

"You're Clare, right?" Alyson asked her as she scrunched up her face and tipped her head to one side as if trying to remember where she had seen Clare before. Clare wanted to slap her, but managed to restrain herself. Realising that if she opened her mouth that something foul would come out, Clare remained silent but nodded her head in reply.

"Hi! I'm Alyson!"

Clare resisted rolling her eyes at her statement. Thanks for pointing out the obvious... Alyson flashed her a winning smile and held out her left hand for Clare to shake.

A glimmer of something sparkly caught Clare's eye, and she found herself staring at Alyson's hand as she held it out in front of her face. At once Clare felt as if the air had been punched out of her lungs. Alyson was wearing a large diamond ring on her third finger, which could only mean one thing— She was engaged.

Staring back up at the woman with her mouth falling open in shock, Clare noticed how Alyson's grin broadened at her reaction. It was clearly what she had been hoping for. With a sickening feeling Clare understood exactly why she had been singled out. Alyson was clearly relishing having the opportunity to tell her face to face that she'd won; that JC was hers.

Alyson glanced at JC over her shoulder and beamed, her eyes shining with pleasure. "I can finally get a woman's opinion on my ring!" She giggled as she looked back at Clare's face, the excitement in her eyes causing a lump to form in Clare's throat. Clare watched in barely disguised horror as Alyson wiggled her fingers slightly letting the light catch the many facets of the large diamond in the centre of the platinum band. "JC has been so shady about it, not wanting me to tell anyone. But I'm just bursting to! I can't keep it a secret any longer!"

Alyson grinned and looked up from admiring her ring to meet Clare's eyes once again and Clare was certain that she saw them narrow infinitesimally. The challenge in them wasn't lost on Clare. Alyson's eyes said everything that she wasn't able to say aloud. He's mine. It's over.

Clare stared her down as she felt the trembles begin to take over her body. Why hadn't she got out when she'd had the chance? Alyson continued to beam at her, absorbing every glimmer of shock and hurt that crossed her face and radiating with pleasure over each one. It made Clare sick to think that this was who JC had chosen to spend the rest of his life with. This was who he preferred over her. It was the ultimate stab in her already fragile heart.

"So what do you think, Clare?" Alyson asked brightly as the tears began to fall down Clare's cheeks, much to Clare's horror. Alyson lifted her hand and once again wiggled her fingers, smiling in satisfaction as the light reflected off the diamond sending rainbows dancing around the room. If she noticed Clare's tears, she pretended not to. "Is it a keeper?"

Clare opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Her head jerked to the doorway, and for a moment she thought that maybe JC was going to say something—the noise having come from where he was standing—but then Clare noticed Justin brushing past his band mate, entering the room with a look of puzzled surprise on his face when he noticed Alyson and sensed the heady tension in the room. It was the first time in her life that Clare felt completely and overwhelmingly grateful for Justin entering a room.

"What's goin' on?" Justin asked innocently, his eyes searching JC's face for some kind of explanation. Clare realised at once that this interruption was her golden opportunity and she dashed to her feet, almost knocking Alyson to the side in her haste to get away. She muttered a quiet sob of an apology—to whom, she wasn't sure—and kept her head down as she charged across the room and past Justin, who quickly dodged out of her way with a whistle of surprise.

Clare waited until she was out of sight from the games room—should anyone stick their head out the door and see her—before breaking out into a run, the tears streaming down her face and blurring her vision as she followed the familiar route of the corridor towards the nearest exit. She had to get out. Get as far away as she physically could from her, him and the whole sorry mess.

It was now complete. There was now nothing left in her life that hadn't been completely destroyed. Not only had she practically lost her best friend, but now her heart had been completely shattered into a million pieces. The person who she had always considered to be the potential love of her life was out of her reach forever. He wasn't just in a relationship; he was preparing to commit himself to another woman for the rest of his natural life. He didn't want her. He never would.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare ended up in the one place that she knew that she shouldn't have allowed herself to go. It hadn't been a conscious decision, but like Libby before her, somehow the ocean had sent her out a siren call that she'd been unable to ignore, and she'd been drawn to the beach as though pulled by an invisible chord.

Clare hadn't been back since that night with the group—for obvious reasons. When she'd discovered the truth—that this was where Libby had had her accident, not ten minutes’ walk from their apartment—she'd been crushed and had stayed away simply for the associations the place now held for her. However, now that her insides were tearing apart it seemed the most obvious place to run to.

She parked her car haphazardly across two bays and rushed towards the shore, barely noticing whether she remembered to lock the doors behind her or not. She didn't care. Her feet sank into the sand but she carried on regardless, barely noticing the resistance it added to her steps.

She rushed ahead until she could go no further, her body shivering and shaking as she gave in to the sobs that were bubbling up from deep inside her. Her chest felt as though it were tearing in half and she fell forward, only managing to press her palms out in front of her as an afterthought so that she didn't end up face down in the sand.

She couldn't believe how her life had changed in such a short space of time, and for the first time in her life she felt the utter despair that could only come with hearing repeated and devastating news. What was there left for her to cling on to? What was there in her life that could ever bring her happiness again?

Engaged! What was JC thinking? It'd been... what? Two days since he'd told her that he and Alyson were getting back together, and now they were already engaged? What was that about? Had he changed personalities overnight? He was always second guessing his actions and rarely acted rashly. But Clare couldn't believe that he hadn't jumped into proposing to Alyson. And that was with her disregarding the obvious fact that the woman was clearly a manipulative, self–centred and conniving bitch. How was it that she could see this but JC couldn't? Why couldn't he see that he was throwing away his happiness and Clare's with it?

Clare allowed her body to release all the pain, hurt and torment that she'd been holding in since Libby's accident. It was the first time that she'd allowed herself to really go to the dark place where there was no hope and she let the tears flow freely from her eyes. They burned as they made tracks down her cheeks.

Is this really how my life is meant to be? Am I really supposed to lose everything dear to me and yet somehow carry on?

His name repeated over and over again in her mind until the stabbing pain in her heart seemed almost unbearable. Josh... Josh... How can I go on knowing that there's no chance for me?

The thought tore her up inside. He was involved in everything that she loved about her life—her job, her friends, even her choice of where to live. He was the reason that she woke up each morning with a smile; the cause of the thrill she'd get when she'd hear his music on the radio, or even hear him singing as he walked along the corridors of the Compound when he thought no one was around. He was the person who sent her heart racing when he walked through the door; the owner of the voice she'd listen out for even when she were in a crowd and surrounded by people. He was the cause of almost every good memory that she had of her times working at the Compound. He was everything.

Clare tried to push the thoughts of JC from her brain to give her heart some relief but she soon found that she couldn't. The harder she tried, the more she was reminded of the good times they'd shared and how much she had come to love him. She hated herself for it and for the way that she was feeling, but it was already too late. The damage had been done.

+ + +

It had been Clare's first day at the Compound—and at her new job—and she'd been understandably riddled with nerves and anxiety. She'd never worked so closely with a band of musicians before and she didn't really have an idea of what to expect. Ever since hearing from Johnny Wright over the phone that she'd been given the job, Clare had been filled with jittery, excited nerves and had lain awake night after night imagining how it would be to work with the new group, *NSYNC.

As she'd driven to the Compound for only the second time—the first having been on the day of her interview – Clare had flicked on the car stereo and sang along to the words of *NSYNC's newest hit – 'Tearin' Up My Heart'.

She'd realised at the time that she should probably have been embarrassed to be singing along to the radio in her car—let alone knowing all the words to a song that she probably shouldn't have enjoyed as much as she did, but she hadn't cared. Before she'd even seen a picture of the members of *NSYNC she'd known that she'd liked their music, regardless of what they looked like.

Clare was a teeny–bopper at heart, and couldn't resist anything that had a strong backing track and slushy lyrics even though she'd known then, as she knew now, that she really should've had a more eclectic taste at her age.

As she'd parked her car in the small car lot at the front of the Compound and made her way towards the main building, Clare had been met by a middle–aged woman who'd introduced herself as Johnny Wright's wife, Donna. There had been another woman besides Clare starting a new job that day, too, and she'd been introduced to Clare as Jamie King. Little did she know then, but Clare had just been introduced to someone she would later come to think of as a second–self and would come to love as a sister.

Thanks to their shared first day, Jamie and Clare had bonded quickly over their shared nerves and anticipations of what was to come; and they'd become fast friends before the first week had been out.

As Donna had shown the pair of them around the Compound, Clare had grown more and more nervous as she'd known that at some point she would be introduced to the group members. She needn't have worried. They were so relaxed and casual with her that they'd all easily fallen into a playful banter, and Clare had known straight away that she would feel at home around them. The way they teased and poked fun at each other made her laugh and she found them pleasantly welcoming whilst remaining professional. It'd helped her to set aside her nerves much sooner than she'd expected.

Later on in the day, Jamie and Clare had been left alone to settle into their own offices and JC had turned up unexpectedly and presented Clare with a cheeseburger, large fries and a strawberry milkshake from the local McDonalds drive in.

"A diet of champions!" He'd told her with a grin as he'd pulled a spare chair over to her desk and settled down easily into it. He'd leant his elbows on the desk and cheekily stuffed a fry into his mouth, raising his eyebrows expectantly at her as though he wouldn't be satisfied until she was eating, too. Clare had been gobsmacked but enchanted at the effort he'd put into making her feel at home and wanting to become her friend.

They'd talked for hours about everything and nothing as Clare had tried to get her head around her new duties. She'd known right then from the way that he'd been so comfortable around her that the pair of them would become good friends.

+ + +

If only I could go back to that day, Clare thought miserably as her tears continued to fall. What I'd give to relive it all over again. To go back and change things so that the ending might be different. If only...

There was so much that she'd go back and change. And not just the big things, either. She'd spend more time away from her desk for a start. She'd have fewer conversations where she'd have one eye fixed on her computer screen. She'd laugh more, and not just with a roll of her eyes or a smirk but proper laughter; where the person knew that she found them funny, not that she was just pretending not to. And, she'd be more open about her feelings. Not just with JC, but with all of her friends. She'd fight back her awkwardness and discomfort and be honest about how she really felt; how much she cared about them and how important they all were to her.

As she considered these thoughts, Clare became aware of the sound of her cell–phone ringing from deep inside her bag, and she reached inside and pulled it out to see who was calling her. Although she knew that it was unlikely, every call she received she always hoped—with bated breath—that it might be the hospital ringing her to say that Libby had regained consciousness. Every time it turned out not to be her stomach sunk to the floor with disappointment.

Clare sniffed loudly and wiped away the tears from her eyes with the corner of her sleeve so that she could better see the name on the small screen. The phone continued to vibrate in her hand, her chirpy ringtone grating against her fragile nerves. She really should change it to something that better fitted her mood, she thought gloomily. 'Yesterday' by the Beatles, perhaps.

Clare narrowed her eyes when she saw Chris's name appear below the call–incoming icon in the centre of the screen. With an unhappy sigh she pressed the cancel button and tossed the cell–phone back into her open bag. She really didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment and Chris—of all people—should've known that.

Just as Clare took a deep breath, sucking the moist ocean air into her lungs and ran a slightly trembling hand over her stinging, wet cheeks, the shrill ringing of the phone resumed once again. Clare let out a huff of frustration, fully preparing to completely ignore it and let it go straight to voicemail. So what if Chris was concerned about her? It was none of his business where she had gone, or what she was doing. She was an adult, for goodness sakes. He didn't need to check up on her like she was incapable of taking care of herself.

The phone rang another three times before Clare lost her patience and answered it in a rage. "What?"

"Hellooo, where are you?" Chris said cheerily through very bad reception and Clare momentarily pulled the phone away from her ear, cringing at it as the sound of traffic and crackling distortion assaulted her ear.

"Where are you?" She asked tersely as she tentatively placed the phone back against her ear and threw his question straight back at him. If he was out looking for her—as she suspected—then she wasn't going to make it easy for him to find her. She needed space and time to herself.

"I'm in the car looking for you," Chris replied, ignoring the unbridled anger in her voice. He wasn't going to be dissuaded from finding her and checking that she was okay. His concern for her was genuine. "Where are you?"

"In my own personal hell," Clare muttered darkly as she scowled out across the waves. Even she was surprised at how quickly her tears had turned to anger. She supposed it had something to do with hearing Chris' voice and the connotations it held for her. It didn't seem to matter which member of the group she spoke to; her thoughts usually flashed straight to JC.

"Address, please?"

"You're better off where you are, Chris. Trust me."

"That's not what I asked, and neither is it the point," Chris replied and Clare could tell from the sudden change in the background noise that he'd pulled off the main roads; the sound of vehicles passing by and rubber tyres turning over asphalt dissipated considerably. "I'm your friend and I want to make sure that you're okay."

"I don't have any friends left," Clare said bitterly as fresh tears began to make tracks down her cheeks. Just saying the words aloud physically hurt her and Clare felt a stabbing pain in her chest when she thought about Libby lying still in her hospital bed. Shame coloured her cheeks at the memory. She knew that her words weren't true and came from the place of bitterness inside of her, but Clare was at the point where she just wanted to lash out at anyone so that they hurt as much as she did.

"Ouch," Chris muttered dryly and let out a dark chuckle. "There's the self–pity talkin'. Come on, let me 'ave it."

"It's not meant for you."

"Nevertheless, I'm the one here. Come on, Clare, talk to me."

Clare opened her mouth to speak but the line unexpectedly went dead and she heard the throbbing peep in her ear that told her that the call had been interrupted. She frowned and pulled the phone away from her ear to check her signal strength. As she was staring at the screen in confusing, seeing no reason why the call should have ended so abruptly, she heard the first indication of footsteps approaching from behind her and Clare felt her stomach sink with disappointment. He'd found her.

"Bingo. My sixth sense strikes again," Chris chuckled and Clare peered over her shoulder at him, the frustration at being found evident on her face. He met her eyes and flashed her a goofy smile before settling himself down on the sand beside her. He left a comfortable distance between them and bent his legs so that he could rest his elbows on his knees.

"You were saying..." Chris prodded gently as he avoided her eyes and stared out at the crashing waves on the shore in front of them.

"How did you find me?"

Chris hesitated and Clare could tell that he was giving his answer some thought before he spoke. When he did his voice was gentle but carried an underlying edge. "Something told me that you'd be here," he said slowly. "It's the perfect place to come and torment yourself. Why not add more guilt and sadness to your shoulders by coming here? It's the perfect place."

Clare was surprised by his answer and felt embarrassed that her behaviour had been so predictable. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes wide and her mouth open in a silent 'oh'. Chris turned to meet her eyes, a knowing smile on his face and one eye squinted shut to block out the sunlight that was shining right in his eyes.

"Don't feel bad," he told her with a modest shrug. "It's exactly what I would have done, too."

Clare looked into his eyes and for the first time she noticed the sadness that lingered there. She so rarely saw this side of him—the serious, thoughtful side—and she felt touched and slightly unsure at seeing him let his guard down and revealing his vulnerability. Something in his face, his eyes, told her that it was okay to unburden on him, that he was a safe shoulder to cry on and that anything that she told him in confidence would remain between them. For the first time, Clare saw not just comedian Chris, but her friend.

Something inside of her snapped, and she began to talk, telling him everything that she'd been hiding within her for so long. There wasn't a subject that she didn't cover; Libby's accident, and how scared she'd been about potentially losing her friend. Her feelings for JC and the shock and grief she'd been going through since hearing about his engagement. Even things she hadn't even been able to admit out loud—how she'd begun to wonder if she even wanted to continue working with the group and whether or not she should return home to the UK.

Chris let her talk and listened in silence, even going so far as to place a comforting around her shoulder—as close as he'd ever physically come to comforting her—when her voice had trembled and the tears had spilled over. Clare had understood then, at that moment, why he was such an integral and essential part of *NSYNC. He was a joker and a clown, he often behaved much younger than his years, but he had a big heart and cared deeply for his friends. He was a good listener, and when in the right mood was supportive and understanding to a fault. He concealed it well, but he was really a very sensitive and kind–hearted man.

In those moments on the beach—moments that slowly spread into hours—Clare felt a fondness develop for Chris that she'd never experienced with him before. She'd always considered JC to be her closest friend in the group, but there were things that she hadn't even shared with him that she'd been able to tell Chris. She realised that their friendship had turned a corner that she hoped would bring the pair of them closer—baring her soul to him could do nothing else—and she was grateful for him having come after her. Without her even being aware of it, he'd become someone she could count on; someone she could trust and depend on. He'd become a good friend.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I always know when you're keeping something from me, so spit it out!" Sara said, smiling over at her elder brother as he dumped his bag down onto the couch in her apartment before flashing her a grin.

Sara's apartment was a cosy two bedroom place which was really only big enough for one person to live comfortably. However, Sara had fallen in love with it and had started renting it during her first year of working with *NSYNC. Just like Libby and Clare's apartment, Sara's wasn't too far from the beach, although she was a bit further down the coast from her friends, meaning that her drive to work was almost twice as long as theirs.

As promised, Jason had arrived for a mini vacation in between jobs and Sara had just got back from the airport from having picked him up. Although he wasn't going to be staying long, Sara was still thrilled to have a chance to spend some time with him and had hoped, if work permitted, to get the chance to possibly accompany him to his next job. She had vacation days left over to use up before the end of the year, and she hoped to fit in a break before she had to head off on tour with the group. Although she'd be travelling the world with them, it wasn't going to be a vacation and she'd be working hard the whole time.

Jason narrowed his eyes playfully at Sara as he slumped onto the couch, reaching out to rest his arm along the back of the sofa and tried to change the subject.

"What about you? Are you dating anyone yet? Clock's ticking, you know," he teased as he pretended to check the time on an imaginary wrist watch. Sara let out a sarcastic laugh before dropping into the seat beside him. She neatly tucked her feet underneath her and rolled her eyes.

"I could be," she replied slyly, "but we were talking about you. Come on, you've got that look in your eye."

"What look?" Jason replied innocently.

"The 'I've met someone that's so perfect and I'm in love' look."

Jason's eyebrows shot up and he let out an amused chuckle. "Really? And how does that go, exactly?"

Sara pulled a face and shook her head playfully. "Try looking in a mirror. Come on, spill!"

"Fine!" Jason surrendered with a laugh, "She's a colleague who I met on a job in France. We've gone out on one date, so don't get too excited. To be honest, we didn't have very much to talk about—"

"Was she blonde?"

"Now, Rose, that's not nice," Jason chided her with a knowing smirk causing Sara to laugh out loud. "But, anyway, who’s this guy?"

Sara rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle. "There's nothin' much to tell. His name is Nick, and that's all you really need to know."

"Hmm... Where'd you meet him? Do I need to be the big brother here and grill him?"

"No, thank you. He came with a money–back guarantee so you can rest assured; he's a keeper."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare felt as though she'd spent the greatest part of her life staring at a computer screen. As the group had been away from the Compound performing for a local television company and doing some interviews to promote the tour, she'd been left pretty much to herself and the quietness surrounding her had drawn her into a pretty melancholy mood.

Despite her best efforts to use the solitude to get some work done, Clare had found that she couldn't focus. All she could think about was the way Alyson had smiled at her as she'd shown off her engagement ring. Clare realised that Alyson had known all along about her and JC's friendship and how close they were, and presumed that Alyson had come to view her as a threat. She'd be flattered if she wasn't so crushed by the news.

It was devastating, not just because she now knew for sure that she'd lost JC completely, but because it had signalled the end of something. The end of their close friendship, the end of their comfortable camaraderie and quite possibly the end of Clare's time with the group.

For if JC went ahead and married Alyson she'd have to find herself another job. There was no way that she could continue working so closely with him and know that she'd lost him for good. She wasn't naive. She knew that her feelings were bound to have an impact on her professionalism—as they already had—and she realised all too well that the hurt would linger and not dissipate, as she so hoped it would. It wasn't a childish crush that she was suffering from. She was in love, and there was only one way to 'recover' from an unrequited love. Run away.

Clare let out a deep sigh and stood up from behind her desk before making her way over to her office window. It was dark outside; an inky black that was only broken by the orangey solar lights that lit up the boundary of the Compound parking lot and along the sweeping gravel drive.

As she stood and watched, she heard the sound of tyres on the gravel and to her surprise—and dismay—a black four–by–four made its way slowly along the driveway and parked haphazardly in the lot. There was only her jeep that occupied a space and Clare realised then that she should have gone home a long time ago. It was dark, it was late and now she was no longer alone.

Clare didn't need to read the number plate to recognise the jeep, but she did so anyway. It was confirmation that what she was seeing was actually reality and not a consequence of her imagination. She felt her stomach sink. There was only really one person who would know that she was at the Compound at this late hour and of course it was the same person that she really didn't want to see.

Clare watched as JC climbed from his vehicle and she quickly stepped back from the window just in time to miss him glance casually up at where she had just been standing. As she felt her heart begin to hammer away in her chest at the sight of him, Clare began to silently wish that he had some other reason for being at the Compound than to see her.

It wouldn't be right them being alone at the Compound at night. Not now. Things had irrevocably changed now that he was engaged, and she knew that she had to behave accordingly. He was a soon to be married man, regardless of how she felt about him. It didn't matter that he wasn't officially married until he had the ring on his finger and had signed the wedding license. In his heart, he had already made the declaration and there was nothing that she could do, or say, to change that.

'We both know that I shouldn't be here / This is wrong / And baby it's killing me, it's killing you / Both of us tryin' to be strong / I got somewhere else to be / Promises to keep / Someone else who loves me and trusts me fast asleep /I've made up my mind / There is no turning back / She's been good to me / And she deserves better than that...

 

 

Clare waited until she sensed his presence—whilst keeping her back to her office door—before speaking. The whole time since she'd heard the sound of his footsteps crunching on the gravel outside she'd been holding her breath, hoping that he wasn't about to appear in her office at any minute. It was too much to take. The night did funny things to her, and it would be too intimate to be alone with him right now.

The daylight had a sobering effect on her and helped her to maintain her composure. But now, in the dim lighting of her desk lamp and after not having spoken to him for so long, or even seen him at all that day, Clare knew that she was treading on dangerous ground. She had to keep this professional. She had to.

"What do you want?" She snapped keeping her eyes fixed on her computer screen, which she'd returned to after stepping away from the window. She didn't want him knowing that she'd been watching his arrival.

"We need to talk," he said simply, not even seeming surprised that she'd known that he was there even without having looked at him. He stared at her across the room, his eyes dark and troubled.

Clare cleared her throat and sucked in a deep breath before finding her courage and raising her eyes to look at him. She was shocked by the dark circles that had appeared under his eyes, and the extra frown lines that seemed to have appeared overnight on his forehead but she tried not to let it show.

"I think all the talking is done. There's nothing left to say."

"Clare... I..."

"Leave it! You've stomped all over my heart with your size eleven boots. Just leave it there," she seethed and immediately regretted her choice of words. Size eleven boots? What am I? A stalker?

Clare narrowed her eyes at him even as her cheeks began to flush with embarrassment. Why couldn't she keep her composure around him? What was it about him that got under her skin?

"Don't you think you've hurt me enough? Please, just leave it. Go home."

JC's jaw tightened, and he stomped determinately towards her and said, through clenched teeth. "I can't just leave it. I can't."

Clare glowered at the anger in his voice. What did he have to be angry about? He was the one who'd gotten everything he'd wanted. He'd had his cake and eaten it, too. Wasn't that what every man wanted? He'd had his fun and managed to walk away pretty much unscathed. It made her furious to think that he'd ended up this way. She'd always thought that he was better than that. Despite how she felt, she knew that he was better than that. Why was he settling for being that man? He was so much better.

"Why not? What do you want from me, Josh? Do you want to hear me say that I'm crushed? I am. If you're here to check if you've completed the job then you can walk away satisfied. Job done. You've destroyed our friendship and broken my heart in the process. Congratulations."

"It's hurting me too!" He spluttered, rushing towards her desk and fixing her with dark, desperate eyes.

"What?" Clare laughed bitterly as she avoided being trapped in his eyes. "Don't give me that bollocks. You've chosen this. It's over, Josh. You've chosen your path and now you have to follow it. You go your way, I'll go mine."

"I don't want us to go separate ways, Clare."

"You can't seriously tell me that you expect things to carry on the way they have been? That we'll just carry on as if nothing has changed?" Clare frowned at him in disbelief. He couldn't seriously be expecting that, could he? Did he really think that she could carry on and pretend as though she hadn't had feelings for him this whole time? That she just ignore the fact that he'd chosen another woman over her, even after he'd led her on to believe that he had feelings for her, too? Was he delusional?

"Clare, we've been friends for two years. Two years. Can you really just dismiss that as nothing? Are you really going to just walk away from our friendship because... because..."

"Because you're engaged?" She finished for him, her eyes flashing with anger at his struggle to say the word. He'd had no trouble saying it when he'd proposed to Alyson. Why was he struggling to say it now?

"I'm not the one 'walking away' as you put it. You've decided to walk away from our friendship. And, to answer your question, yes. I'm sorry if you've only just realised this but I can't be friends with you anymore. Not like this," she said honestly, hiding her shaking hands underneath her desk so that he couldn't see them. Despite this, she couldn't hide the tremor in her voice or the wobble of her chin as she said the words that tore a hole in her heart to say aloud. She knew that it was for the best, but even so...

"I can't pretend that I'm happy for you, or that what you've done hasn't hurt me. I can't offer you my congratulations, or listen supportively as you go ahead preparing for your wedding day. I can't pretend that I'm not crushed inside, or that I don't regret the fact that she somehow managed to reveal something to you that you clearly never saw in me. Or perhaps you just never wanted to see in me." Clare sniffed loudly as the silent tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Whatever it is, you've chosen a path that I can't be a part of, JC, and we both have to accept that. You've chosen her, and that means you have to say goodbye to me."

JC watched her face crumble and felt sick inside. He'd done this. He'd bought her to this moment, and he had no one to blame but himself. His selfishness and thoughtless actions had devastated the one person he loved the most in the world, but all he could do was watch her cry. There was nothing that he could say, or do, to repair the damage, or even offer her some comfort. It was too late.

 

 

"Why, Clare? Why does this have to be the end? Why does it have to be so final?"

Clare shook her head and stared at him with wide, sad eyes. "I can't," she said in an almost grimace. "I just can't."

"So that's it?"

Clare nodded numbly, and the feeling spread throughout her body. This really was it. She thought that she'd comprehended it before but she'd been wrong. She really was losing him. For ever. She wasn't just losing the man that she'd come to love, but her best friend too. Her companion, her shoulder to cry on, her biggest supporter and cheerleader. Her emotional rock and stronghold. Her everything. There were no words for the feelings of grief that squeezed the air right out of her lungs.

"Yes. It is."

JC stared at her, his mouth hanging open slightly in shock at the finality of it all. He hadn't been prepared for this. He'd expected that their friendship might be rocky from now on. That his actions might have damaged the easy affection between them, but not that she'd walk away and close the door on him completely. Had he been naive? Was it selfish of him to think that they could still be friends? Was he wrong to wish that things could be different?

He really was at a crossroads. The options lay before him as though he were a child having to choose between two closed fists. Right or Left. Clare or Alyson. There was no obvious right or wrong. Both sides had their pros and cons and yet by choosing either he was bound to lose.

Clare stared straight back at him, her arms and legs trembling along with her chin. This was it. She knew that this was their last moment together and yet she somehow wished that the agony would last forever, and that she'd never actually get to the part when he would walk away. For she was convinced that he would. Despite it all he was a man of character, of honour. He rarely—if ever—backed out of a promise. Clare knew the reason why she already felt so devastated. It was because she knew that she'd already lost him; that his decision had already been made. He was already gone.

The resignation seemed to eventually reach JC's eyes and his shoulders sagged. "You know," he muttered, his eyes never leaving hers even as the sadness engulfed them. "I've never said it before and I realise what a waste that was, but I did—do—love you, Clare—"

Clare closed her eyes as the tears formed once again. It was too much. She couldn't bear to look at him as he said the words she'd always longed to hear, but in very different circumstances.

"I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to say. And I'm sorry that it's too late..." he said, his words trailing off as he looked at the grief–stricken expression on her face. There was nothing left for him to say. Nothing he could do to take back what had happened, to take back what he'd done. He didn't know why he'd felt compelled to tell her that. He knew that it would possibly only add to her pain, but part of him had needed her to know. To understand a little of his struggle. To know that it wasn't that he didn't want her. Just that life had gotten in the way. Destiny had steered them away from each other.

"Go," she told him in barely more than a whisper. "Please."

JC nodded sadly and obeyed. Although each step that he took away from her felt as though it were tearing more and more of his heart apart he forced himself to continue. He had to do this, he kept reminding himself. It was the right thing to do, no matter how conflicted he felt inside.

He was a man of his word, and he'd given his word to Alyson. Over time the pain would heal, or at least deaden. If all he had to look forward to was numbness, then at least it was something. Of course, he'd have more than that. He'd have a child, and in time he might even be able to fully re–kindle the connection he'd once had with Alyson. They had, after all, loved each other once.

Clare waited until she heard his footsteps depart and then tentatively opened her eyes. Although she knew what to expect, the sight of the empty doorway was enough to bring the weight of her emotions crushing down on her and she fell to the floor in a heap as the sobs overcame her. He'd gone. It was over.

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do / To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you / It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie / To show no emotion when you start to cry / I can't let you see what you mean to me / When my hands are tied and my heart's not free / We're not meant to be / It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do / To turn around and walk away / Pretending I don't love you...

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Lisa looked down at her plate of steaming hot pasta and tentatively picked up her fork. She flicked her eyes up at Joey, who was sitting across from her at the table, and met his concerned eyes. Offering him a weak smile, Lisa speared a noodle and lifted it to her mouth before making a big deal of chewing and swallowing it. In the time it took for her to eat that one piece of fusilli, Joey's eyes never once left her face, despite his own plate of pasta cooling before him. It was weird, and it was pissing Lisa off.

Lisa glanced back down at her plate and debated whether or not she could manage having any more of the creamy, tomato based sauce in her mouth without needing to rush to the bathroom. Even as she stared down at her plate, she realised that even reaching a decision might be out of the question. Her stomach clenched at the sight of the food and she quickly dropped her fork, letting it fall against her ceramic plate with a clatter.

"Okay, that's it!" Joey exclaimed as Lisa lowered her head and began to breathe slowly in and out through her mouth, willing the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach to disappear. It was uncomfortable enough feeling unwell in private, let alone in front of her boyfriend who'd come over especially to make her dinner.

Lisa glanced up at him through narrowed eyes. She continued to breathe in and out through her mouth but already felt much better just keeping her eyes away from the food. Counting silently in her head helped, too.

"Are you going to eat, or do I have to force feed you?"

Twenty–three… twenty–four. "I'm just not feeling very hungry, Joe."

"Come on, Lis, you've been saying that for days. What's going on?" Joey asked in concern as he looked down at her plate. He didn't understand what had upset her. She usually loved his home–made sauces, and he'd even added extra fresh oregano as he knew that it was her favourite. He'd tasted the sauce while he'd been preparing the food and he'd thought that it had turned out to be one of his best.

Twenty–seven… twenty–eight. "I told you, I just don't feel myself at the moment."

Joey frowned, his brown eyes narrowing slightly as he scanned her face. "Is it me?" He asked his voice devoid of his usual humour.

"Of course not! I just haven't been feeling well. I think I have a stomach bug, or something."

"But you haven't been eating right for ages; there must be something more to it than that. You should go and see a doctor, or something."

Lisa frowned and let out a huff of frustration. She hated doctors, but more importantly, she hated doctors’ surgeries. The smell, all the waiting around, the other sick people...

"I ain't kiddin'," Joey continued in a bossy tone. "If you're not well then you need to go and see someone about it. You can't keep hoping that it'll just go away."

Lisa let out a groan. "Eurgh, don't hassle me, Joey. I'm fine."

"Then eat your pasta," he ordered her in a no–nonsense tone. Lisa met his eyes and saw the challenge in them. She knew that he had her cornered, but Lisa was stubborn. She wasn't going to go down without a fight.

She glanced down at her plate and sucked in another deep breath as she lifted her fork once again. Unfortunately, this time she breathed in deeply through her nose and as soon as the smell of the tomato sauce hit the back of her throat she turned an ominous shade of green and quickly dropped the fork once again, shoving the plate firmly away from her with the palms of her hands as she fought back the urge to retch.

Joey shook his head and helpfully removed the plate—along with his—from her line of sight. When he returned to the table, Joey placed a tall glass of ice water in front of her and stood by her side, reaching out a hand to rub soothingly between her shoulder blades as she hunched over the table.

Lisa felt the shame and embarrassment wash over her as she tried to compose herself. "I just can't keep anything down," she muttered in a quiet voice as she reached for the glass of water and took a few tentative sips. The cold water felt good as it washed down her throat and settled in her stomach and she took a few more sips before setting the glass back down on the table. She turned her head to meet Joey's gaze, who until now had remained silent. Lisa knew what he was thinking, but she was glad that he wasn't saying it aloud. She hated hearing anyone say 'I told you so'.

"Baby, just go to the doctor," Joey said with a weary sigh as he continued to rub Lisa's back. She leaned to the side so that she could rest her head against his body and let out a deep sigh. Now that the food was gone she was already beginning to feel better but his soothing voice and movements were helping too.

Joey's hand moved from the middle of Lisa's back to her shoulder, and he gave it a firm squeeze as he looked down at her fondly. "You can't carry on like this. It's not good for you, and frankly it's starting to scare me. You're supposed to be coming on tour with us soon but you can't if you're like this."

"I know," Lisa said reluctantly as she gave him a sad smile. "I guess I don't have much choice, do I?"

Joey shook his head. He felt relieved that she was starting to admit defeat and make a sensible decision at last. He couldn't handle seeing her struggle on like this for much longer. Plus he hated having his food wasted. He'd spent hours chopping vegetables, making the stock and preparing the sauce. It was too good to be thrown straight down the drain, or so he thought.

"I'll make an appointment in the morning."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

~~~~~*~~~~~ 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Three days passed, and Clare deliberately spent her free time at work away from the members of the group. It was easy to do since the men’s' schedule had ramped up suddenly with the tour now rapidly approaching.

Since it was early June and the temperature outside was rarely dropping below 81°F, Clare had been spending most of her lunch breaks down by the Compound pool. She'd found that swimming laps helped her to completely switch off her mind and blow away most of the cobwebs that had settled there.

It also meant that Sara knew exactly where to look for her when she needed to find her that morning. She stumbled upon Clare during the middle of her seventh lap and called loudly from the poolside to catch her friend's attention.

Hearing the sound of her name being called, Clare stopped mid–stroke and allowed her legs to sink to the bottom of the pool. Fortunately, she was in the shallower section of the pool and therefore her feet just touched the bottom. Brushing the water and some of her wet hear out of her face and eyes, Clare searched the poolside until she noticed Sara waving wildly at her from beside one of four sun loungers. She wasn't alone, and Clare felt a smile pull at her mouth as she noticed Jason standing beside Sara with a similar crooked grin on his face.

Clare walked slowly through the water across to them, brushing droplets of water self–consciously from her bare arms and shoulders before reaching behind her head to squeeze the water out of her dripping hair. As she reached the side of the pool, Clare avoided the pool steps and instead lifted herself out of the water and onto the poolside in one easy motion. The regular swimming wasn't just helping to clear her mind, but improve her upper–body strength, too.

"Hi!" Clare greeted her friends, still slightly out of breath from the exertion of her activity. She climbed to her feet, her legs wobbling slightly beneath her, and held her arms out to Jason as an offer of a hug. He regarded her curiously before Clare came to her senses and realised that she was dripping with water. She chuckled and lowered her arms in understanding.

"Sorry," she muttered before Sara pottered over to where Clare had discarded her beach towel and retrieved it for her. Clare gratefully wrapped it around her body and steered her friends out of the direct sunlight and into the shelter of the nearby porch that surrounded the main building nearby.

Once out of the glare, Clare was able to properly look at both Sara and Jason and she offered them a weak smile—the most she'd been able to do in weeks. The sadness in her eyes surprised Jason, even though he'd been pre–warned by his sister, and he was alarmed to see the change in Clare from only a few weeks. She looked like a different person completely.

Jason returned her smile, if a little hesitantly. "Hiya, Clare–Bear. Nice to see you."

Clare grimaced at his sickly–sweet nickname and tried to narrow her eyes at him playfully. Although the intention was there, her humour was stifled by the ache in her heart. However hard she tried, she couldn't bypass the well of grief and loss inside of her which was making almost everything but crying practically impossible. She wondered how long she would feel this way, and hoped that it wouldn't be forever. It was exhausting feeling so lost and broken all the time.

"Hiya, Jace. How've you been? How’s being adored by millions of women workin' for ya?"

Jason chuckled and lowered his head bashfully. "I'm not sure that's accurate, but I am good, thanks." He hesitated, and then decided to ignore the niggling feeling that told him to avoid the subject. It felt wrong not to state the obvious, and he felt he would be doing her a disservice as her friend if he didn't. "I heard about Libby, Clare. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Truly."

Clare swallowed audibly and looked up at him with wide, child–like eyes. It seemed strange still hearing someone mention Libby's accident as though it had only just happened. It seemed so long ago to her that she'd overlooked the fact that she hadn't actually seen Jason since Libby had been in the hospital. For her it felt as though it'd had been years, and not just a few short weeks.

Clare opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She was too cut up inside to be able to discuss anyone else's grief, or even acknowledge Jason's kind words. When she wasn't feeling torn apart inside she was feeling swallowed up by an all–consuming feeling of numbness which often left her feeling as though she were an observer of her life, rather than the centre of it. She nodded in understanding and dropped her eyes to the tiled floor.

"Sara tells me you haven't been doing that good lately...?"

Clare chewed down on her lip and tried to compose her face. What was she supposed to say? That she was fine? Surely they wouldn't believe that. That she just needed some time to get her head on straight? Was that true? Was that even possible?

"I... I'm getting there," she lied, avoiding both their pairs of eyes.

"No, you're not," Sara told her firmly and then turned to her brother. "She's not."

"I can see that," Jason replied softly, meeting Sara's concerned face before turning back to Clare. "You know, Clare, me and Sara have been talking—"

"Yes, we need to take her with us," Sara interrupted, eyeing her brother intensely, silently willing him to agree with her. She was adamant that her plan was the right thing for Clare but she needed her brother's support and agreement to go ahead. It wouldn't be easy to convince Clare of what they had planned, but she knew that if they worked together it would be more successful. Up till now, Jason had said that he would save his final judgement until he had seen Clare himself and Sara could only hope that now he had, he'd go along with the plan.

Clare's eyes snapped up, and she eyed Sara, then Jason, with wary eyes. Take her with us? "Take me where?"

Sara took a deep breath and glanced quickly at Jason's face to see whether he looked as though he would interrupt her. He didn't and so she continued.

"Jason's headed to Spain next week," Sara explained. "It was always the plan that I would travel with him, as a sort of mini–break before the tour kicks off—" Sara glanced at Jason, willing him to take over.

"—Sara filled me in on what's been happening and we both felt that maybe you would like to join us. On vacation, I mean. It'd be a mini–vacation for you, too."

Clare opened her mouth to speak but Sara quickly cut her off before she had a chance to politely decline. "And before you just flatly say no, think about it, Clare. You need a vacation." She leaned forward and lowered her voice, her eyes staring knowingly into Clare's puffy, red–rimmed ones. "You need to get away, if only for a little while."

Clare flicked her eyes to Jason's sympathetic face, and he nodded slowly. "She's right, hon. You need a break more than anyone."

Clare glanced back down at her bare feet as the hundreds of reasons why she shouldn't go with them raced through her mind. She had every reason to need to stay behind, and yet there was a very small part of her, the selfish part that she usually kept locked tightly away, that whispered to her that she should forget all the other reasons and just do what she wanted. But what did she want? She wasn't really even sure.

"It'll be fun, Clare. I promise," Sara assured her. "Jason will be working so during the day it'll just be me and you. Picture it! Seven days of sleeping in, laying about in the sunshine and maybe even going out to a club in the evenings and picking up some Spanish men!" Sara wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at Clare who stared back at her in barely disguised horror.

"You don't have to do that, Clare," Jason butted in, cutting eyes accusingly at his sister.

Sara looked momentarily chastised before turned back to Clare with a bright smile. "It'd be just what you need. I promise. Get away, get some distance from—"

Jason grimaced and cleared his throat to interrupt his sister. "—What Sara is trying to say is that it'll be lovely to have your company, Clare. We'd look out for you and you would have a lovely time. Promise."

Clare offered him a weak smile and to her surprise she felt her defences weakening. Was this possible? Could she actually agree to this? Could she really just pack up and leave? The idea was so attractive... but...

"Libby..."

Sara nodded in understanding. Sara knew that leaving Libby would be a big obstacle for Clare to overcome if she was to agree to come along with them and therefore she had a counter–offer already prepared.

"Justin. I've already talked to him," Sara explained causing Clare to grimace. Great. I bet he thought even less of me after finding out I might be considering going on vacation.

As if reading her mind, Sara's expression softened, and she reached a hand out to place on one of Clare's arms. "What I mean is he's agreed to take over your visiting schedule. Libby won't be the worse for visitors just because you've gone away for a little while. In fact, as I am sure you can imagine, he was pretty thrilled to have more time to spend with her—"

Sara and Jason both shared a knowing smile which Clare reluctantly mirrored. Trust Justin to see the silver lining in her absence. Thrilled had probably been an understatement.

"—Plus Libby's mom has offered to call if anything changes. We can be home within a day if we need to, so you needn’t worry about missing anything."

Clare looked at Sara's eager face and then at Jason's. He gave her a thumbs up and smiled encouragingly.

 

 

"I guess you've thought of everything," Clare said weakly and her face cracked into a small smile. "It would be nice to get away from everything for a bit," she said, and surprised herself to find that her words felt true.

"Exactly!" Sara said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with excitement now that she was almost certain that Clare was going to agree. Jason eyed her out of the corner of his eyes, silently willing her to keep it together. There was still a chance that Clare would change her mind and he didn't want Sara putting her off by being too full–on.

"So whaddya say?" Jason asked.

Clare sucked in a deep breath and then let it out in a huff. "I think I'm saying yes."

"Yes?" Sara repeated eagerly causing Clare's smile to widen slightly. It was true. If there were two people on the planet capable of bringing her out of her gloom then it was Jason and Sara. If she agreed to go with them, Clare was certain of a good time. If she allowed herself to have one.

"Yes," she repeated. "I say yes."

~~~~~*~~~~~

The rest of the week continued pretty much as usual, only Clare had a small glimmer of hope to cling onto that somehow helped her to get through. The more she thought about it, the idea of getting away seemed like a dream come true. And, as she silently crossed the days off in her mind, she actually began to look forward to it rather than being filled with guilt and indecision. Sara was right; it was exactly what she needed.

To Sara's surprise, Clare had asked that no one other than Justin be told about the vacation. Clare felt that she needed to begin cutting ties with the group and felt that now was as good a time to start as any. It hurt her to think it, but she was forcing herself to consider her options now that things between her and JC had changed. She needed to start thinking of her life outside of *NSYNC and she hoped that getting away would help her to do that with a clear head.

Although she'd fully expected it, Jamie was the first to openly mention the 'JC' subject with her. She'd managed two days before she'd come bursting into Clare's office and demanded that they both sit down and talk about what had happened. Jamie had overheard some things that the group and Sara had mentioned and she'd realised straight away that Clare would be deeply affected by it all. She wasn't her best friend but Jamie felt that she was almost as good a shoulder to cry on as Libby.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jamie had asked as she'd discreetly—or so she'd thought—pushed a box of tissues across Clare's desk towards her friend. Clare eyed the box and then looked up to meet Jamie's eyes. It would be funny if she didn't feel so dead inside.

"About what?"

"Come on, Clare. Don't do that. You can talk to me." Jamie lowered her voice and glanced at the office door before turning back to her friend. "I know about Alyson. I know what happened."

Clare nodded and looked into Jamie's searching eyes before breaking away to glance at the window. She hated seeing the looks of pity on her friend's faces. Another reason to get away. It would be such a relief to be surrounded by strangers who wouldn't look at her with sympathy, or even look at her at all. She'd be just another tourist in the crowd. It was an appealing thought.

"I'm getting by, Jam."

"Are you? Are you really?" Jamie asked, reaching across the desk to place her hand over Clare's. Clare flicked her eyes back to Jamie's face and noticed that once again that searching, sad expression was back. Clare swallowed audibly.

"I'm doing my best."

"I could rip her hair out," Jamie muttered angrily as she thought of Alyson. "How dare he let her treat you that way. And in front of everyone," she spat.

"Yeah..." Clare replied in a shaky voice. This was exactly why she hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about it. She just couldn't conceal anything anymore. Her feelings were visible for everyone to see on her face and she hated it. She used to be so good at camouflaging the way she felt. But now she felt naked. Open for all to see. Her inner strength was gone. Crushed under a lifetime's worth of problems and heartache.

"You didn't hear this from me, of course, but Chris ripped into him over that. He was furious. We were supposed to go out for dinner that night but all we ended up doing was talking about you two."

"Great," Clare muttered sarcastically. "Thanks."

Jamie's cheeks flushed slightly, and she gave Clare's hand a squeeze. "Not like that. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that we were both concerned about you. It was such a shitty thing to do, Clare. That's all."

Clare nodded as the lump in her throat returned. I'm not going to cry. I'm not...

"I'm really surprised at JC," Jamie continued. "I know this Alyson has a hold over him, but he's not an asshole. I don't understand what's changed. He's turning into a—"

"He's in love," Clare muttered darkly as she dropped her eyes to the table. For Clare it was the only explanation. It was the only way she could excuse his actions. Otherwise...

"No, Clare," Jamie replied with a snort of angry amusement. "He's not."

Jamie's eyes regarded Clare's face and she once again squeezed her hand, her voice softening as she came to the realisation that Clare really did believe JC to be in love. She needed to get some sense into her and quickly. She couldn't have her friend believing something that wasn't true.

"He's not, Clare," she repeated. "Hey, look at me!"

Clare's eyes flicked up to meet Jamie's face.

"He's not. I promise you. I have, unfortunately, had to spend time with them and he is not in love. That's what I don't understand—"

"He's marrying her."

Jamie bit down on her lip and stared at Clare's sad, down–beaten expression. It hurt her to see her friend so dejected and she wished that there was something that she could do. She wished she had a magic wand to wave to make it all better. But of course, she didn't.

"Clare, I know he has feelings for you. I've spent two years around you. There isn't anyone he cares for more than you. He'll come around, I'm s—"

"I'm getting away for a bit," Clare interrupted her and they both looked momentarily surprised by her words. Clare hadn't anticipated telling anyone about her vacation but the words had just jumped out of her mouth. She'd so badly wanted Jamie to stop talking, to not try to raise her already dashed hopes that her subconscious had forced the words straight out of her mouth.

Jamie's mouth fell open, and she stared at Clare with wide eyes. Eventually, she spoke. "With Sara?"

Clare nodded. "Yes. We're going to Spain for a week."

Jamie nodded and eyed Clare cautiously. "You are coming back though, aren't you?"

"Of course. I'd never leave Libby—"

"Oh, I know. I'm just..." Jamie took a deep breath. She chewed down thoughtfully on her bottom lip and then broke out into a small smile. "You'll have a good time, I'm sure."

"Yeah, they'll take care of me."

Jamie nodded and Clare could tell that there was so much more that she wanted to say. It was obvious that she was holding back but Clare was relieved. She couldn't keep talking about JC. She couldn't keep thinking about JC. She needed to get as far away as she could where no one would want to talk about her problems unless she bought them up.

"When do you leave?"

"Sunday." Three days. Just three more days to get through and then I can escape my life for a little while.

Jamie nodded. "I hope you have a great time," she said sincerely although her face looked troubled. "We'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too. But I need this, Jam. I need to get away." Clare searched her friend's eyes for a sign that she understood. It didn't matter, she'd still leaven anyway, but it would help to know that Jamie understood her reasons. It would remove a little of the guilt she felt about leaving Libby.

"I understand," Jamie said sadly and let out a small sigh. "I just wish things could have been different."

Clare nodded and swallowed audibly. "Me too."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

Packing was never easy for Clare. It wasn't that she didn't know what to pack, it was just that she didn't know what not to. As she stood over her bed—which was completely covered in the majority of her wardrobe—she felt the familiar feeling of panic rise up in her which usually accompanied her pulling her dusty suitcase from the top of the wardrobe.

She just had so much stuff. But when she got down to the nitty–gritty of choosing what to bring on vacation with her, it all seemed essential. So far she'd packed and re–packed her case at least three times and she still wasn't satisfied. Once again she'd hauled it all out and started again from the beginning.

Usually she had Libby to help her. Libby was a dab hand at packing light, even though she'd had even less opportunity than Clare to travel. Somehow Libby had the God–given ability to pack what she called a 'capsule wardrobe' and still managed to have everything she needed and look fabulous at the same time. It really wasn't fair.

Seven days. It's only seven days, Clare reminded herself firmly. Choose seven day outfits, a few night outfits, bathing suits, sleeping things and underwear. That's all you need.

Clare chewed thoughtfully down on her bottom lip. But what if the weather changes? What if it's cold? I'll need a sweater. Or maybe two. Or perhaps I should bring a rain coat? It rains a lot in Spain, right? She found herself subconsciously humming the chorus to 'The Rain in Spain' from My Fair Lady. Yes, definitely a coat.

Clare scanned the heap of clothing that was scattered haphazardly across her queen–sized bed. And evening wear? What if Sara does want to go clubbing one night? Should I take something skimpy? Or what if we go out to eat every night? I'll need something classy. Like my black dress... But that doesn't go with any of the shoes I've chosen. Oh, God. I've got to start all over again. Again.

Clare felt her face drop. At this rate she'd never meet Sara and Jason at the airport on time. She glanced at her bedside clock's display and grimaced. Two hours. She really didn't have time to be so indecisive. She just had to pack what she thought she needed and hope for the best.

As she once again reached for one of her many plain t–shirts, Clare heard a tentative knock at the door and her head snapped around to listen. She wasn't expecting anyone and really didn't have time for visitors, but for all she knew it could be Jason or Sara coming over to help her pack. She couldn't afford to turn down an offer of assistance.

Clare rushed down the hallway towards the door and yanked it open eagerly.

"You really shouldn't tell my girlfriend stuff," Chris said as he stepped into the apartment without waiting for an invitation. He turned to face Clare and shrugged. "Jamie can't keep a secret to save her life."

Clare narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head. It frustrated her that he'd found out about her leaving but since he, too, was aware of her feelings for JC he surely would understand her need to get away.

"I think you have more reason to be concerned about that than me," she remarked dryly as she closed the front door and made her way back along the hall to her bedroom. Chris followed cheerfully behind.

As Chris eyed the mountain of clothes, shoes and bags cluttering up her room his mouth popped open in surprise and he let out a low 'oh'. Hearing the sound Clare turned around to face him with a raised eyebrow.

"I know it looks bad, but it's organised."

"Are you sure?" Chris chuckled good–naturedly as he made his way across the room and perched on a semi–clear spot on the side of her bed. "Looks like chaos to me."

"Organised chaos," Clare retaliated with a smirk as she lifted a long–sleeved t–shirt off the bed and regarded it carefully. She gave a half–hearted shrug and tossed it back onto the pile. "Actually, you're probably better at this than me. Any tips?"

"Yeah," Chris chuckled. "Get someone else who's organised to do it. I usually get J..." Chris's voice faltered and Clare looked up to meet his eyes. She knew exactly what he was about to say and was glad that he stopped himself before he said the word. It was the last thing that she needed to hear.

Chris cleared his throat. A fleeting look of embarrassment crossed his face before he brushed it off and reached out to pick up one of her discarded shirts.

"So how long will you be gone?"

"A week," Clare told him as she folded a pair of jeans and placed them in the suitcase. "I won't leave Libby for any longer."

Chris nodded in understanding and watched as Clare continued to pack. Although the silence wasn't particularly uncomfortable, Clare felt weighed down by the unspoken questions in the air. She knew that Chris was being careful not to upset her, but that didn't stop his silent judgement. She knew what he was thinking, even if he wasn't saying it aloud.

"I need to clear my head," she said eventually, avoiding his eyes as she squeezed several rolled up camisole tops in the gaps in her suitcase. Chris remained silent and Clare flicked her eyes up to see whether he'd understood. She met his penetrating gaze and swallowed audibly. It never failed to unnerve her whenever she saw that serious expression on his face. Probably because she so rarely did.

"You don't have to run away to do that."

Clare narrowed her eyes at him. He clearly had no idea. "I need to get away. I need space."

"So you are running away?"

"No. I'm taking a vacation."

Chris sighed and dropped the shirt. He twisted his body so that he was facing her full–on. "Clare, you can talk to me. I understand. If you need someone to talk to—"

"That's just it," Clare snapped back, angrier than she intended. "I'm fed up of talking about it. I'm fed up of thinking about it. I just want to get away from it all. I just want a break from my life."

Chris was silent for a moment as he absorbed her words. He understood her point, he really did, but he was concerned for her. He was worried that the problems that she was running away from would still be there on her return. He knew from his own experiences that this was likely to be the case.

"So when do you leave? Jamie said your flight was around seven…?"

Clare dropped her eyes and continued to pack up her things. "Erm, no. Actually we changed to an earlier flight. I'm meeting them at the airport in a few hours."

"Oh," Chris muttered in surprise as he pulled his cell–phone out of his jacket pocket. "I'll have to make some calls. We were gonna come and wave you off."

"We?" She repeated accusingly. The last she'd heard only Justin knew about her vacation. I guess good news travels fast, she thought gloomily. She hadn't really wanted everyone to find out. But maybe that hadn't been very realistic. After all, they were bound to notice when she wasn't at work...

Chris looked momentarily sheepish and shrugged. "Well, you know... once I found out..."

"Everyone else found out?" Clare asked, narrowing her eyes as she watched him begin to dial a number and hold the cell to his ear. His eyes met hers as he waited for the call to be connected.

"Not JC," Clare told him in a tone that was almost begging. Chris said nothing but continued to hold her gaze. "Please, Chris. I'm serious. I don't want him there. I can't handle seeing him again. I'm trying to get some distance."

Chris let out a sigh and dropped his arm, cancelling the call with a press of his thumb against the keypad. "No, you're running away from him," he said causing Clare's head to snap up, and she glowered at him. "Hey! You might not want to admit it, but that's what's happening here."

Fully preparing to chew him out and kick him out of her house, Clare opened her mouth to speak but Chris was quicker. He talked over her until she was silenced by his words and was forced to listen.

"He's going to be hurt when he finds out that you left without saying goodbye. Especially if he's the only one."

"No, he really won't," Clare said dryly and began to resume her packing. Chris—taking the hint—returned his cell–phone to his pocket and continued to watch her with sad eyes. He knew that she was hurting, but he didn't want her to leave with things so unresolved between her and JC. It wouldn't help in the long run. And as for her 'getting some distance', he knew that it would be impossible. He knew that she'd only end up feeling the same way she did now, only from far away. And if anything that would likely make her feel worse.

"It's such a shame," he muttered quietly as he reached out to fiddle with the zipper on one of her hoodie tops. "You guys were so close."

"Were being the operative word," Clare snapped back and glowered down at her suitcase. She'd finished filling it but like before it was just as chaotic and unorganised as it had been during the last attempt. She let out a sigh and dropped onto the bed, not caring that she was creasing some of the shirts she'd spent an age ironing that morning. Clare turned her head to meet Chris' eyes and at once he noticed that the fire that had been there only moments ago had been extinguished. She was losing some of her fight.

Clare sat there for a moment, chewing down on her bottom lip before letting out another sigh. She felt exhausted and now that she was sort of packed, she realised the full implications of what she was doing. It tugged on her heart and she felt some of the familiar ache return. As much as she didn't want to think about them, Chris' words kept replaying in her mind.

'... No, you're running away from him.'

She was, wasn't she? If things hadn't changed between her and JC would she still be leaving for a week? No. It had been torture when she'd gone to the hospital that morning to see Libby for the last time before she left. She'd felt racked with guilt, even though she knew that Libby would think her ridiculous for it, she'd still shed tears for the fact she was leaving.

She felt trapped between a rock and a hard place. Part of her craved the release from her daily routine. The endless hours in front of the computer and the daily trudge of heading backwards and forwards to the Compound and the hospital. Her life had lost some of its colour and she felt like a zombie running through her daily routine without seeing, or feeling, any of it. When she thought back on the last few weeks all she felt was tiredness and an overwhelming desire to close her eyes and hibernate for several months, at least. She hoped that going to Spain would help to revive her a bit and bring back a bit of her joie–de–vivre.

But on the other hand, as much as she didn't want to admit it, she realised deep down that she was running away. Not just from JC, she realised sadly. But Libby, too. It felt like everywhere she turned, everyone she loved, only added to her sadness. The Compound, which had at one time been like a second home to her now felt like a prison. Her apartment, which had once been her sanctuary, was the last place she now wanted to be. The longer she spent there without Libby the more she felt haunted by memories of the past. The laughter, the joy, the peace. It was all gone.

She felt terrible for feeling that way. It wasn't Libby's fault. But if she hadn't had her accident...

Clare shook her head firmly to push the thought from her mind. No. That wasn't fair. Even if Libby hadn't had the accident. Even if she'd recovered and was back home Clare's heart would still be breaking. She'd still have lost JC. Wouldn't she? She'd lost him that night nearly two months ago at the club. That's when Alyson had waltzed back into his life.

Even if Libby's accident hadn't happened, she'd still need to get away. She'd still need to find a way to get over him. Yes, she assured herself. She'd still most likely take a vacation. Only this time it would've been her and her best friend. She would have gone with Libby.

The thought cut into Clare's heart and she felt the tears well up. Was she selfish? Was she cruel to leave when Libby when she was so helpless? What kind of friend was she to take a vacation whilst her best friend was in the hospital?

"I just can't handle it anymore..." Clare sobbed causing Chris' eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. He wasn't expecting this, and he looked momentarily stunned as Clare's head bowed and her shoulders began to shake. He stared at her for a moment before realising that he had to do something, and he got to his feet and stumbled over towards her. Kneeling down in front of her, Chris reached out to lift her chin with his fingers so that she was looking him in the eye.

"Hey," he said softly as she met his eyes and a fresh wave of tears spilled down her cheeks. "Don't cry."

Clare shook her head slightly and opened her mouth to speak but only managed a grimace instead. How could she explain it? How could she tell him how she was feeling? She could barely keep up with her emotions herself, let alone explain them to someone else.

"...I feel so guilty about leaving her, but I can't do this anymore..." Clare sobbed, and she squeezed her eyes shut to avoid Chris' concerned gaze. There it was again in his eyes. The pity. "I just want to get away from it all. From everything."

"I know," Chris said, reaching out to hold both her hands in his and giving them a squeeze. "I know, Clare. It'd be too much for anyone to bear. You've been so strong and brave for so long. You were bound to reach your limit at some point."

"But... Libby..."

Chris took a deep breath and looked at her earnestly. "Libby doesn't know what's happening, Clare," he told her gently but firmly. "Libby loves you, and she would want you to do whatever is best for you."

Clare shook her head and was about to argue when Chris shook his head, silencing her.

"She won't be left on her own, Clare. She has many friends who will take care of her while you're away. You can't put that on your shoulders as well as everything else. You've got to start cutting yourself some slack."

Clare swallowed and felt her tears slowly begin to subside. Although she found it hard to accept, she knew that he was right.

"Libby wouldn't want to see you like this. We don't know how long this might go on for and you need to get your strength back for the long–haul, you know?"

Clare nodded slowly and let out a loud sniff.

"If you need to get away then do it. It doesn't matter what I, or anyone else, thinks. You do what's best for you. And I don't just mean that for now, Clare. I mean always."

Clare sucked in a breath and the ache returned as soon as JC's face appeared in her mind. Chris was right. She had to do what was best for her and that meant finding a way to suppress the nearly two–years’ worth of feelings that she had for JC. It was the only way she'd be able to handle returning in a weeks’ time. Who knew what she might return to. In just a few weeks he'd gone from apparently having feelings for her, to having a girlfriend and now a fiancée. Would she return to find he'd eloped and married?

She had to find a way to compartmentalise her feelings. Stuff them away in a corner of her mind so at least she could think, eat and sleep again without the constant ache in her heart. It was the only way she'd be able to continue with her job. Or else—as she'd thought before—she'd have to leave. But that was a last resort. She'd at least try this first.

Clare met Chris's eyes again and gave him an attempt at a weak smile. "You're a good friend, Chris." She said and was surprised to see a flash of pain flicker in his eyes for a moment. Clare felt her stomach flip in response and she frowned slightly as her eyes flicked between his, searching for an explanation.

"What?" She asked him in a panic. "What?"

Chris cringed and let out a long sigh. He squeezed her hands affectionately and once again the pity look was back in his eyes. "This isn't the right time," he said gloomily and Clare watched as he broke eye contact and glowered at the ceiling for a moment before glancing down to meet her eyes. "And I wish that I didn't have to tell you this, Clare, but I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't."

Clare felt her heart begin to race. This was more bad news, she knew it was. But what was there left to tell her? Hadn't she had every kind of bad news imaginable? She searched his eyes desperately, even as her gut begged her to block up her ears, to not listen. That whatever it was that she needed to tell him, that she was better off not knowing.

"He doesn't know that I'm telling you this, Clare—" Chris said, his eyes wide and serious as he regarded her face. "—But I know that as much as this may pain you, you deserve to know the truth—"

Clare stared at him and her whole body began to tremble. Chris felt it and squeezed her hands tighter.

"—I don't know what he told you, but there's a reason why he's suddenly back with Alyson. And why he's suddenly engaged even though they've just gotten back together—" he said through clenched teeth and for the first time Clare considered the effect that JC's engagement might have taken on the rest of the members of the group.

She'd been too preoccupied with her own feelings to even give a thought to theirs. Even though it was her job to balance the portrayal of the guys personal lives with their public ones. Joey was one thing. Most of the fans knew that he had a long–term girlfriend and it was unlikely to take the fans by surprise if he were to suddenly announce his engagement. But JC? That was bound to go down like a lead balloon.

Chris sucked in another breath through his mouth and let it out in a long sigh. "I know this won't be easy for you to hear, but Alyson... Well, she's pregnant, Clare."

Clare's mouth fell open, and she stared at him with wide eyes. Was it true? She was pregnant?

Chris grimaced at the expression on her face but knew that he had to continue anyway. He'd started and now he had to finish. "I'm not making excuses here, but when he found out he said he had to do the right thing. No matter what it cost him."

Clare flicked her eyes away to her patterned bed cover. She couldn't bear looking at the expression on his face any longer. He looked so apologetic, so regretful, and so full of pity. She felt her breathing become erratic and forced herself to keep a lid on it. Not to let herself fall apart once again. She couldn't keep doing this to herself.

"No matter what," she repeated without any emotion. She felt dead inside. The numbness that had threatened before to consume her had done its job to completion. Although it was the worst news that she could expect to hear, it was almost as though her brain was blocking it out; stopping her from absorbing it properly. Although it was an eerie feeling, she was grateful.

"He meant you, Clare. I know he did," Chris said, slightly desperately. "He'd never have chosen her over you if it weren't for the baby. You need to know that. You do understand that, don't you?"

Clare nodded simply to shut him up. She couldn't talk about it anymore. She couldn't think about it anymore. She needed to finish collecting her things, get to the airport and escape. Thank God for Sara and Jason. Thank God she'd agreed to go on vacation with them. Thank God she was able to run away.

"Can you drive me to the airport, please?" She asked him in a shaky voice. She wouldn't think about what he'd said. She'd just focus on her holiday. It was the only thing that she could do. Two hours. That was all. She just had to survive the next two hours.

Chris seemed surprised by her response. Whatever reaction he'd been expecting from her, it hadn't been that. "Err... yeah. Course.”

"I'm ready to go now," she told him and met his eyes once again. They both understood the double meaning in her words and Clare raised her chin defiantly, refusing to allow the tears that were threatening to spill flow down her cheeks. She was so ready to leave now. The guilt that she had felt only moments before had gone. She didn't care if not saying goodbye to JC would hurt him. She hoped that it would. She hoped that he'd be in as much pain as she was. She hoped he'd have as hard a time getting over her as she was having him. Unlike her, he wouldn't be able to escape from his life so easily.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare heard her flight number being called over the airport terminal's intercom as she stood in the centre of her huddle of friends. Out of everyone, only two people were missing and although she tried to be strong, Clare couldn't deny that their absence caused tears to prick at her eyes.

"That's us," Sara said excitedly as she turned her head and flashed Clare a smile. Although she very much wanted to return it, Clare found that she couldn't. Even though she'd gone through the whole process of preparing for her vacation, it was only now that she was standing moments from boarding the plane that the full reality of what she was doing hit her.

Seeming to sense her hesitation, Justin suddenly broke away from the group and took Clare by the hand, leading her aside so that he could talk to her privately. His blue eyes bore into her brown ones as he regarded her carefully.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked hesitantly. "You don't have to do this, Gid'."

Clare gave him a wry smile and shook her head gently. "I do. I have to get away. I know you probably won't understand–"

"I do. I do understand. But it doesn't have to be like this. It doesn't have to be so rushed..."

"Come on, J. We both know that if Sara wasn't going I wouldn't be either, but this is too good an opportunity to miss. I have to sort my head out."

"But what about Libby? What if she wakes up?"

Clare dropped her gaze to the floor. He'd completely hit the nail on the head of all of her doubts and hesitations. What if Libby did wake up? Would she forever blame herself for not being there? Clare swallowed and glanced back up at his wide, worried eyes and attempted a brave smile. She could tell by the tightness around Justin's eyes that he didn't quite buy it.

"Don't worry, squirt. I have a sixth sense when it comes to Libby. I'll be home before that happens."

Justin tensed and Clare realised that her words had done more than just try to reassure him. Once again she'd put her foot in her mouth. Realising her mistake, Clare opened her mouth to apologise, but Justin waved a dismissive hand at her.

"'S'ok. I know what you meant. I just never stop hopin', you know? Every day I wake up thinkin' that today might be the day."

Clare smiled up at him and this time it was genuine. She rocked forward onto the balls of her feet and stretched up so that she could place a kiss on his cheek. Justin reached forward a hand to steady her after noticing that she was wobbling slightly.

"I'm so glad she has you, Justin. I know she couldn't be in better hands while I'm away. Take care of our girl, okay?"

"Always," he answered and gave her a fond smile. "You know, I'm almost gonna miss you shouting at me for a week," he chuckled.

"Then I'll try to remember to call and yell at you down the phone, okay?"

"Promise?" He asked as he reached out to pull her into a hug. Clare chuckled against his shoulder and squeezed him back.

"Promise."

As she went around the rest of the group giving and receiving hugs and kisses, Clare felt the familiar pang she always felt when she was leaving home. As she reached Chris and Jamie, who were standing side by side, holding hands she met Chris' eyes and smiled fondly.

True to his word, Chris had seemed to have contained himself and not called JC about her early departure. Not that she'd expected him to have been there anyway, she was still grateful and relieved. The last face she wanted to see before leaving for a week was JC's.

"You'll keep everyone in line whilst I'm gone, right Jam?" Clare said in a mock–bossy voice as she pulled her friend into a hug. Jamie returned her smile but looked momentarily taken–a–back.

"I don't think I'll be as good at that as you..." she muttered anxiously, causing Clare to laugh.

"You'll be just fine," Clare assured her as she reached out her arms to Chris. "Keep in touch, 'K?"

"That's just what I was about to say to you," Chris chuckled as he lifted her lightly off the floor causing her to let out a little shriek. "Enjoy the break," he told her as he placed her back on her feet. "Take care of yourself."

When Clare met his eyes again, Chris noticed that they were shiny with tears and he gave her an affectionate wink. "Get outta here, you!"

"I'm goin'!" Clare laughed as she lifted her rucksack onto her shoulder and searched for Sara and Jason in the group. Meeting Sara's eyes Clare gave the rest of her friends a wave and the three slowly made their way towards the departure gate.

"Take care!" Jamie called after them and she leaned forward onto her tiptoes to wave at them over the crowd of people bustling around the gate. Chris smiled down at his girlfriend and reached out once again to take her hand in his.

"Have a safe flight. See you in a week!" Jamie called.

"Bye, I have my cell with me. I'll be in touch!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC exited the bathroom on the first floor of Alyson's house and headed straight for the stairs. Up till now, both he and Alyson had been enjoying a relaxed, long lunch together and although he knew that there was no reason for him to be feeling this way, JC couldn't deny the niggling feeling that something was off.

Everything was too perfect. Too arranged. It seemed unkind of him to think so he thought, especially when he could see the effort that his fiancée was putting into everything, but that was exactly it. She was putting too much effort into it. He'd never had to work so little in a relationship before. And from what he could remember from his previous relationship with Alyson, he'd been the one doing all the running. He felt more like the woman in the relationship—just sitting back and allowing his partner to take the lead. It was a little off–putting.

JC knew that things wouldn't be easy. Alyson was no fool, and of course she'd known that he hadn't exactly been thrilled to hear about the baby. But he'd put all that behind him now. He was standing by her, wasn't he? The rest would come in time...

"You could totally do a lot worse!" He heard a female voice say as he reached the bottom of the stairs. His head snapped to attention at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. It definitely wasn't Alyson.

"But it's not like that!" He heard Alyson reply and at once he put two and two together. She was on the phone. It must have rung whilst he was in the bathroom, and for some reason Alyson had left it on speaker–phone. For a moment JC prepared to continue making his way into the living room—where he and Alyson had retired to after lunch—but then his curiosity got the better of him and he held back. Now that he was aware that he could hear the conversation, it might be interesting to hear what she was saying to her friend, he thought. Perhaps she'd mention him and he'd get a small insight into how she was feeling about everything? In his shock and confusion over the baby, neither he nor Alyson had gotten around to really discussing the logistics of planning their future together. It was something he regretted. He wished that it was as easy to talk to Alyson as it was to... but that wasn't the point.

"Come on!" The unfamiliar female voice continued, and he detected laughter. "You've hit the jackpot. Who cares what people think?"

JC frowned and felt his stomach constrict with tension. Were they talking about him? Naturally, his suspicions rose at the phrase 'jackpot'. It wouldn't have been the first time that he'd have been associated with the word and the thought made his jaw clench. There were a lot of greedy people in the world, and he realised that to the outside world that it could be deemed that Alyson had done very well for herself by becoming engaged to him. But he knew that Aly wouldn't feel that way. She actually cared for him. Loved him, even. Well... maybe. But still, there was no way that she would think of him as just a pay check, even if her sleazy friends did.

"I really don't know why you're freaking out about this. I certainly wouldn't. You're going to have JC Chasez as your baby daddy! What are you complaining about?"

JC felt momentarily winded. She'd told her friends about the baby? Even after he'd specifically asked her not to, and to wait until after they'd had the first scan? He'd explained that he preferred to keep his private life as that—private, and he'd thought that she'd understood. Agreed even.

He'd explained to her how important it was to protect the reputation of the group, and how no matter how difficult it might seem, he needed to be respectful of the other members of *NSYNC when dealing with private matters. Not that he was ashamed of his actions, but he knew that it would be a difficult thing for his legions of fans to swallow that he was engaged and now expecting a baby. Especially after the whole 'one night stand' incident. It was a PR nightmare that he—and the group—could do without. It needed to be handled delicately and with tact. And definitely without the risk of some 'friend' leaking out the details.

Making his way around to the doorway, JC began to prepare in his mind what it was he wanted to say. He had to tread carefully. Like he'd expected, Alyson had been especially emotional and unpredictable lately and he'd been treading on eggshells around her. He knew it was pregnancy related, but it hadn't helped that it had reminded him of exactly why he and Alyson hadn't worked out the first time.

She was a drama queen and although he, too, had a dramatic flair, Alyson's was especially trying and grating at times. Already he'd resumed his age old trick of counting to ten before he spoke; something he'd only just remembered he used to do the last time they'd been together. The memory hadn't helped to settle his anxieties at all. Could he really handle a lifetime of biting his tongue and counting to ten?

"But I feel so bad! I panicked, okay? I never planned for all this to happen—"

JC froze, his hand on the doorknob. Panicked? What was she talking about?

"—He was here, and things were going so well. What was I supposed to do?"

"You did what every normal person would have done; you upgraded! So stop beating yourself up about it. He doesn't know, does he?"

"No."

"Then no harm done."

JC felt his mouth go dry. This was not good. He heard Alyson take a deep breath, and when she spoke he could hear the emotion in her voice. It was clear that she was fighting back tears.

"But what if it's obvious?" She said in a wobbly voice. "What if when the baby's here it's obvious that it's not his?"

Surprising himself, JC laughed. It’s not mine. The fuckin' kid isn't even mine. He leaned forward and rested a hand against the doorframe, letting his mind absorb the life–changing news. I'm free. Still he continued to feel the laughter bubbling up inside of him, and even he felt concerned by the fact that he was finding this information so amusing. Perhaps it was because deep down he'd been hoping that there was a way out of the situation for him, only he'd been too afraid to say it aloud and deal with the implications of that.

"Who cares? You'll be Mrs. Chasez by then. What's he gonna do? Go through the embarrassment of a divorce? Like you said, he's so excited to become a father..."

JC had heard enough, and as the humour died away to reveal something darker, he angrily shoved his fist against the door letting it swing back and bang angrily against the adjacent wall.

Alyson turned and stared at him in horror, her watery eyes wide and fearful. JC crossed the room in a few short strides, calmly removed the telephone receiver out of her hand and slammed it forcefully back onto the cradle, causing the wooden vanity stand below to tremble under his anger. As he looked back up to meet her eyes, Alyson's face crumpled and tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"It’s not mine."

"Josh, please—"

"You made me believe that you were pregnant so that I'd marry you, and it wasn't even my child!"

"—it wasn't like that. It wasn't supposed to happen like that!"

"Oh? And how was it supposed to happen?"

"I... I..."

"What? Has this been a set up the whole time? Were you trying to get pregnant so that I'd marry you?"

"I never meant to get pregnant! It was an accident! By the time I found out..."

"What?"

"He'd gone..."

JC stared at her coldly. Great. She wasn't even going to keep up the pretence that he'd been important. It wasn't even about him. He was just the guy who'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guy who was there to pick up the pieces. The dad substitute. How wonderful to discover that he'd given up everything, and it was literally for nothing.

"Give me back the ring," he said coldly, no longer wanting to hang about. It was done. He wanted his ring back and then he'd leave. For good.

"Josh, please..."

"Please what?"

"Don't do this. Please don't let us break up over this."

Again JC let out a bitter laugh and held out his open palm to her. He shook it impatiently and raised an eyebrow. "Really? You think we can work through this?"

"Yes! Can't we at least try?"

"Er... that's definitely a big fat no. Now, ring, please."

"Why?" Alyson cried, her eyes narrowing angrily. "You gave it to me, remember?"

"And now I want it back."

"Why? So you can give it to someone else?"

Immediately Clare's face filled JC's mind, and he felt an overwhelming ache of regret settle in his gut. He'd made a huge mistake. There was no denying that. Who was this woman standing in front of him? Why had he been so blind to who she really was? Why had he chosen her over Clare? What the hell was wrong with him?

JC swallowed hard and shook his hand once again as his anger once again got the better of him. "Ring, now!"

"She'll never love you like I love you, Josh!"

"I fuckin' hope not," JC retaliated with a bitter laugh. "You trapped me into believing that you were having my child. Stood by and watched as I broke the heart of one of my closest friends, and were even going to carry on pretending the baby was mine until I married you. She would never have done that. Unlike you, she actually has a heart."

"She won't want you after this. She'll hate you."

"That's fine. I'd rather spend the rest of my life trying to get her to love me again than spend it with you."

Alyson flinched and her mouth gaped open in shock at his harsh words but JC was beyond caring. Realising that she had no intention of getting his ring back, he turned on his heels and prepared to leave. Sure it was expensive, and he hated the thought of leaving even a little of himself behind in Alyson's house, but he couldn't look at her face a moment longer. Who knew what other kind of tricks she'd pull on him if he stayed for even another minute.

"Josh..." she whimpered as he turned his back on her but the sound made no impression on him. She should've known that this day would come sooner or later, and thank goodness it had been sooner. It would have been a lot harder for him to walk away if there had been a child around. Even if it wasn't biologically his.

JC made his way out of the front door and straight over to his jeep without turning around to see whether Alyson was following or not. To be honest, he didn't even care.

He climbed inside and started the engine, the adrenaline of his showdown with his now ex–fiancée still flooding through his veins causing him to accidently press down too firmly on the gas pedal making the car to roar to life. The sound seemed to clear his head for a moment and he removed his foot and took a deep breath.

This was it. This was the moment. He had to find Clare. He had to tell her what an idiot he'd been. Beg her forgiveness. Do anything to get her to understand that although he'd been temporarily insane, he'd returned to his senses.

He drove first to her apartment, but found it completely empty. He was tempted to try the spare key and let himself in, but thought better of it. His next thought was to try the Compound, but he also found this unoccupied. He'd overlooked the fact that anyone rarely worked at the Compound on a Sunday.

Feeling at a loss, JC decided to try her cell–phone, but he had no luck there either. Thinking quickly, he tried Chris's cell. Chris usually knew most of his friends' whereabouts. JC dialled the number with shaking fingers.

Chris answered in three rings.

"'Lo?"

"Where are you? Where's Clare?" JC asked, too wound up to bother with civilities. He needed answers and fast.

"Er, airport," Chris answered hesitantly. At once JC remembered back to a conversation he'd overheard at the Compound a few days ago. Something about Clare taking a vacation. But he hadn't been listening intently enough to have heard the details. Clare never took vacations, and so he hadn't paid that much attention. But now that he was putting two and two together... maybe he was wrong.

"You or her?"

"Both."

Dammit. JC fought back a growl and he slammed his foot back down onto the gas pedal. As the car sped forward, a shower of gravel and dust flew up from the rear tyres. He pulled out onto the street and headed straight for the freeway. Now he had a destination he just needed to hope and pray that he'd get there in time. 

"Is she there now?"

"Sorry, dude. She didn't want me to call you, otherwise—"

"Doesn't matter. You have to stop her, Chris. Don't let her get on any flights before I'm there—"

"JC..."

"—I mean it. I have to see her. Do whatever it takes, man."

"I'll see what I can do, but—"

JC ended the call and tossed his cell onto the empty passenger seat as he pressed his foot further down onto the pedal. Already he was well past breaking the speed limit, but JC didn't care. He gripped both hands tightly around the steering wheel and blew out a shaky breath. He needed all of his concentration to navigate through the traffic at the speed that he was travelling.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Chris stared in confusion as the caller I.D on his phone disappeared and he was left with the standard wallpaper display on the screen. His brow furrowed as he realised that the call had been disconnected, presumably by JC himself.

Chris flicked his eyes back to Clare's retreating body and felt a flash of adrenaline surge through him. He had to stop her. He had to do something to stall her just until JC was able to make it to the airport. He didn't know what was going on, but he could tell by the panic in his band mate's voice that it was urgent, and he didn't doubt that it might have significant consequences for Clare.

"Stop... we have to stop her!" Chris muttered as he grasped at Jamie's arm to get her attention. Immediately she turned and frowned at him before pulling her arm back out of his grasp. Chris stared at her with wide, energised eyes.

"What?"

"Clare. We have to stop her from getting on the plane. It's important."

Jamie's eyes immediately flicked to the cell–phone in Chris hand and the furrow in her brow deepened as she turned back to continue waving at Clare, ignoring Chris' hysteria. "She's gone, he's too late," she said, putting two and two together. She didn't even have to ask him to know that it was JC who had called Chris, but she had no intention of helping him with anything. She was still angry with him over the way he'd treated her friend and was in no mood to humour his whims.

"He's comin' to the airport. He said somethin' about needing to see her before she leaves."

"Well, call him back and tell him he's too late."

"Jam! This could be important!" Chris said as he began to jump up and down on the spot, waving his arms erratically around in the hopes of catching Clare's attention. She was just out of earshot and the noisy crowd in the terminal weren't helping much either but if he could just get her attention...

Jamie turned her head and raised an eyebrow at Chris. She let out a small sigh and tugged lightly on one of his arms to pull it back down to his side. Chris looked at her in alarm and tried to free his imprisoned limb.

"Let her go, hon," Jamie said as she met his eyes and reached out to capture his other arm. She pinned them at his side and although her could easily break through her restraint, Chris didn't and he listened as she offered him an explanation. "She needs this," she said soothingly.

"So does he."

"She needs a chance to get away from him. You know I'm right."

"It's too late now anyway, man," Justin said as he met Chris' eyes. Justin was standing slightly to the side of the main group of friends and he'd clearly seen Sara, Jason and Clare depart through the gate whilst Chris had been distracted with Jamie. He gave Chris an apologetic shrug. "I guess he could always call her on her cell when she lands?" He suggested, trying to sound optimistic.

Chris pulled a face and glanced back at the gate. "Yeah, I guess. But he's not going to be happy about it."

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC ran over to his group of friends through the busy terminal building, dodging trolleys of luggage and careless tourists meandering through the hallway before coming to a stop beside Justin. His eyes searched hastily through the crowd, searching each face for Clare's brown eyes. Failing to find her anywhere, JC turned to Chris' and noticed for the first time the awkward grimace on his friend's face.

"Where...?" He asked breathlessly and placed his hands on his hips before bending forward slightly to aid catching his breath. His eyes never left Chris' as he waited for his reply.

"Sorry, man. You're too late."

JC straightened up and stared straight ahead at the departure gate. Swearing inwardly at the fact he'd risked a traffic accident, a parking fine and a near–collision with a trolley–load of luggage for nothing he stared helplessly ahead as his hope died. He was too late.

"We did try to stop her," Chris assured him as he noted the dejected expression on JC's face. "At least, I did," he added afterwards and glared accusingly over at Jamie who shrugged and narrowed her eyes back.

"Damn it!" JC swore loudly causing several faces of strangers to turn and frown at him in displeasure as they went about their business. "I really needed to talk to her."

And how, how did I let her get away? / 'Cause love, love is so easy to feel / But the hardest thing to say / If she could just see what I see when I close my eyes / All that I dream / Surely she would realise / Like a fool I waited much too long to let her know the truth / Now she's gone away, maybe she'd stay/ If she only knew...

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Chris sat having his makeup retouched before the group's next television appearance, he glanced over at JC, who was leaning against the wall waiting for his turn whilst staring off into space. JC hadn't been himself since two days ago at the airport, and there had been nothing that anyone could say—or do—to change that.

"Earth to JC. Come in JC! Your time is up!"

Either he was too lost in his thoughts to pay attention, or he simply chose to ignore him but either way, JC didn't react.

"Ten minutes 'till you're on, guys," Jamie called through the dressing room door as she passed by the corridor on the way to the studio. It wasn't ordinarily her job to accompany the guys on non–tour related events. But someone had called in sick and so she'd been asked to fill in. Jamie's easy camaraderie with the guys meant that she was often asked to fill in for other members of the team.

"Four of us will be there," Chris called back sarcastically as he continued to watch JC stare into space with an amused smirk on his face.

"That's not somethin' I wanna be hearing!" Jamie called back in concern. "Who's the one not with it?"

"Guess," Joey quipped as he, too, watched JC with amusement. Although neither of them were happy to see their friend in such a state, they couldn't deny that it was amusing that JC was finally the one getting into trouble. Mr. Perfectionist—as he was known amongst the group—rarely put a foot wrong and was usually the last person to not be focused.

"JC?" Jamie shouted through the door, causing JC's head to snap to attention. He turned to meet Chris' eyes, then Joey's, clearly confused by the sound of his name being called.

"You heard the lady," Chris said as he raised an amused eyebrow at his band mate. "We've got ten minutes."

"Oh!" JC said in an awkward voice and he leaned forward to check his hair in the mirror in front of him. "Right."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"So... how does it feel to be getting away from all of your problems?" Sara asked Clare as the pair of them reclined by the hotel pool. They'd already spent two full days in Spain, and although Sara was already feeling thoroughly relaxed, Clare felt... exactly the same way she had two days ago.

Clare tilted her head slightly on the lounger and gave Sara a small, sad smile. "Thing is, I know they'll just be waiting for me when I get home," she said.

Sara nodded in understanding and reached out to pat her friend's hand fondly. "I know," she said gently, "but maybe things will be a little easier after a week away."

Clare nodded. "I really hope so."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Sara woke to the sound of muffled crying coming from the balcony outside her and Clare's hotel room, and she pushed back the bedcovers and reached for the robe that she'd left draped across the bottom of her bed.

Slipping it over her shoulders, Sara padded gently over to the sliding glass door and tentatively grasped the handle, sliding the door open with the quietest of movements. She didn't want to alarm Clare.

"I'm sorry..." Clare spluttered through her tears as she heard Sara tiptoe across the balcony and she allowed Sara to pull her into a tight embrace. Clare felt riddled with guilt for waking her friend up—for the second night running—and wished that she'd insisted on having her own room for the duration of the holiday. It really wasn't fair what she'd been putting Sara through.

"Don't be silly," Sara said, whispering soothing sounds into her ear. "Just let it all out, honey," she said, causing Clare to squeeze her eyes shut tight. Clare felt as though she really didn't deserve her friend's patience or understanding, but she was so grateful for it.

Sara knew how important it was for Clare to let out all the pain and grief that she was experiencing. She'd witnessed her friend putting on a brave face during the day. Drinking Sangria and giggling as they chatted by the pool. Even pretending to enjoy exploring the little streets of Barcelona that they'd spent hours meandering through on their first day. Sara knew Clare well enough to know that she could be a very good actress, and tried not to feel hurt that despite her best attempts to get her friend to smile, it never really reached Clare's eyes.

Sara understood why and so she was more than happy to just hold her friend be there for her, even in the middle of the night as she stood on the balcony, sobbing her heart out. It was a necessary therapy, even if it was hard to watch.

"He doesn't want me..." Clare sobbed, and even Sara had to close her eyes to stop her own tears from spilling out. It was heart–breaking just to listen to the sound of Clare's voice. So grief–stricken and hopeless.

"Oh, honey..."

"I love him, and he just..." Clare let out a loud sniff and her chin began to wobble, "he just..."

Sara squeezed her back tightly. She was unsure of what to say, but hoped that just being there would be enough. There were no words that could take away Clare's pain; there was no easy answer to help heal her heart. She'd get there eventually, but it'd take time and a lot of shed tears.

"I know, honey. It's all so messed up."

"A baby..." Clare continued to sob, and feeling her begin to pull away, Sara released a little of her grip on Clare's shoulders and glanced up to meet her eyes. "He's having a baby with her..."

Sara nodded sadly. A baby should be something to celebrate—a joyful occasion. But Sara wondered if anyone would be able to feel that way about Alyson and JC's child. She hated to admit it, but it felt... wrong.

Clare was meant to be with JC. That was obvious to almost everyone who knew them. Who'd seen the pair of them together. Sure, at times they could be like chalk and cheese, but no one made JC laugh like Clare did. And no one caused Clare's eyes to light up like JC. They had all the important things in common, and both of them had the sense to not want to try to change their differences. They brought out the best in each other, and had a deep affection that neither time nor distance had been able to affect... until now.

Now, Sara wondered how either of them would be able to carry on with their lives. She certainly wouldn't find it easy. How do you carry on knowing that the person you were supposed to be with had found someone else?

"I always thought that'd be me one day," Clare sobbed.

"I know you did, sweetie."

"It's so stupid. I was such an idiot thinking that one day we'd be together. Life isn't a fairy–tale; I should know that by now."

Sara dropped her eyes to the floor. There was so much that she wanted to say, but she didn't know if she could, or should. Was it fair to give Clare false hope? Was it fair to encourage her to pursue feelings for another woman's man? Or should she help her friend move on? Suggest that maybe now was a good time to put those feelings to rest once and for all? She was so torn.

"He was like my best friend. I told him everything, and him me. Why wasn't that enough, Sara? Why couldn't he look at me the way he looks at her? What's so wrong with me and so right about her?"

This time Sara did physically stop herself from speaking. The things she was thinking were definitely not appropriate to say. She wanted to tell Clare that the problem wasn't with herself, it was with JC, but she realised that Clare wouldn't want to hear that, and that she'd also be criticising a colleague, which she didn't want to do. Yes, JC had made some terrible decisions, but overall he wasn't a bad person. Maybe that's why his actions were so hard to swallow. He deserved so much more than what he was settling for.

"Maybe one day..." Sara murmured before catching herself and immediately regretted her words. She shouldn't have allowed that to slip out.

Clare swallowed audibly and looked at her through puffy eyes. "No," she said with a whimper. "I can't wait for him. It's too painful, Sar."

"I know, honey," Sara said, pulling her into another hug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's just so hard to think that you won't be together. It always seemed like you were meant to be, you know?"

"That's why it hurts," Clare said through fresh tears. "He always felt like my meant to be."

Sara nodded, and this time chose her words more carefully. "Well, if he's not, then that means that Mr. Right is still out there somewhere. You just have to focus on that. Somewhere there is someone out there waiting for you."

Clare said nothing, but Sara could tell by the change in her breathing and the way her sobbing had subsided somewhat that her words had gotten through. She felt Clare's arms tighten around her and a faint smile pulled at her lips.

"Thank you," Clare said softly. "Thank you for understanding and being there for me."

"Any time, sweetie. You know that. I'm always here for you, no matter what."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Jamie sat behind her desk the next day and watched as Chris, Lance, Joey and Justin all rolled around on the floor of her office play fighting. She glanced up at JC—who was sitting by himself on the easy chair by the window—in disbelief, but he was staring absently out of the window, completely unaware of what was happening around him. Despite knowing that she probably wouldn't get a response, Jamie tried to break through his trance anyway.

"Does Clare have to put up with this a lot?" She asked him, raising her voice to be heard over the din. As expected, JC continued to stare out of the window as though he hadn't heard.

"Hello?" Jamie called again, louder this time, and she waved her hand in his direction in an attempt to catch his eye. Again, nothing. Jamie let out a huff and rolled her eyes. "Are you going to be this miserable the whole time she's away?" She snapped and glared down at her computer screen. Although she was trying to be sensitive to his situation, Jamie was getting pretty tired of having to deal with JC's attitude.

"I'm not miserable," JC retaliated suddenly and Jamie's eyes flicked over to his face to find him staring back at her, his brow furrowed slightly. Jamie snorted in amusement and raised an eyebrow.

"Right..."

"Why don't you just call her?" Chris offered helpfully as he clamoured up from the floor and brushed down his jeans. He reached into the back pocket on his jeans and handed JC his cell–phone offering his friend an encouraging smile. Once the main protagonist of the fight had gone, Lance, Justin and Joey also got to their feet and watched the exchange between Chris and JC with interest. Nearly everyone had an opinion on the whole 'JC/Clare incident', but none were as forthcoming as Chris.

"Why don't you just call her?" JC mimicked in a childish voice. Chris beamed back at his friend and rolled his eyes as though the answer was obvious.

"I have," he said nonchalantly and gave a small shrug. "We spoke last night."

JC's face fell. "Oh."

"Go ahead," Jamie encouraged and nodded at the cell–phone, which Chris was still holding out to JC. "What's the harm in trying?"

JC glanced from Jamie to Chris and then back again, before accepting the phone and dialling the number that he knew off by heart. He took a deep breath and held the phone to his ear, waiting for the call to be connected. Glancing up casually, he was met by five eager pairs of eyes and he shifted in his seat to face the wall, rather than look at the expectant faces of his friends. He could really do with some privacy, but he knew that that was probably out of the question.

"You have reached the answering service for this number. The person you have called is currently unavailable. Please leave a message, or try again later."

JC ended the call and handed the phone back to Chris without a word. Chris raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation.

"Voicemail," JC answered gloomily and attempted a shrug, which no one was convinced by.

"Maybe try again later?" Justin suggested.

"Yeah, maybe."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare watched Jason twirl his sister around on the small makeshift dance–floor that had been set up in the restaurant they'd been eating at. It was a balmy hot night, and after a busy day of sightseeing, Clare had been ready to take the weight off of her feet.

She and Sara had spent an hour wandering around La Sagrada Familia that morning, had visited the Picasso Museum in the afternoon and had joined Jason for dinner at a restaurant just off of Las Ramblas Boulevard.

It had been a perfect end to the day, but as Clare took a sip of her cocktail and glanced around at the couples sitting either side of her table, their faces lit up by the trails of fairy–lights that had been draped around the patio, Clare felt a lump form in her throat.

It was a beautiful setting. And she'd had a lovely day, but still she felt miserable. It didn't matter how beautiful the scenery was, or how interesting the places she'd visited with Sara were, they just didn't seem to change the well of sadness inside of her. She'd hoped that they would, and as the time began to run down on her holiday, Clare began to realise that a week just wouldn't be enough time to sort out her head, or her heart.

She was trying her best to push thoughts of JC to the back of her mind, but it wasn't easy. It also caught Clare by surprise when her feelings got the better of her. It wasn't just when she was alone, but when she was in the middle of a crowd, too.

"Hey!" Sara giggled as she and Jason returned to the table. Both their faces were flushed from the dancing, and Clare gave them a smile as they plopped back down into their chairs. Sara regarded Clare carefully for a moment before reaching out to place a comforting hand over hers.

"Another drink?" Jason asked as he half stood and peeped into Clare's empty glass.

Clare nodded. "Yes, please. I dunno what it's called, but it's yummy!"

Jason laughed. "I believe it's called a screwdriver, and I'll get you another if you like?"

"Yes, please. Thanks, Jace."

Sara waited until Jason was out of earshot before speaking. She took a sip of her own drink and then cleared her throat. "I called Justin this morning. Told him that we'd be flying back around lunchtime on Sunday..."

Clare glanced up and noticed Sara's questioning expression for the first time.

"You're not ready, are you?" Sara asked her, the concern showing in her eyes.

"Ready?"

"To go home, I mean,"

"To be honest... no," Clare admitted with a sigh, "but I don't know if I can stay away any longer..."

"'Cause of Libby?"

"Yeah, and just being out of the loop as well. Things are gonna go crazy with tour preparations in the next week or so. It's really not a good time to be away. There's gonna be so much work to do—"

"But Johnny said you could take as long as you needed. There's no need to rush back if you don't feel ready. You've still got loads of vacations days left, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah," Clare admitted with a shrug, "but I just feel so bad about leaving people struggling without me. Jamie's already up to her eyeballs in it, and with the interns covering Libby's shifts, it just doesn't seem a good time to be away."

"You can't worry about that, Clare. You've got your own concerns to focus on. With what you've been dealing with, no one would blame you if you took a whole month off."

"But what's the point? I can't stay away forever. And what if after a whole month I still didn't feel ready? I thought I'd be okay after a week. Now I'm not sure if I'll ever feel like myself again..."

Returning to the table with the drinks, Jason overheard the last part of the women's conversation and smiled down fondly at Clare. It was difficult for both him and Sara to keep the concern off their faces when they discussed Clare's problems. They were both worried about her.

Placing Clare's drink in front of her, Jason returned to his seat and hoped that his reappearance would stop the two women from talking. He knew how much Sara had been wanting to discuss Clare's plans, but she'd been too worried about bringing the subject up and upsetting Clare. She was so fragile at the moment.

"So what do you wanna do?" Sara asked.

Clare let out a sigh and shook her head, her eyes falling onto the glass in front of her. "I really don't know," she said sadly. "I haven't really thought it all through yet to be honest. I was kinda hoping that a week would be enough, you know?"

Jason nodded. He understood exactly how Clare felt. "You can't rush it, Clare," he reminded her gently. "A lot has happened in a short amount of time. You need to give yourself time to process all that's happened before you can try to move on."

Clare gave him a wry smile. "It's just not very convenient," she said with a chuckle.

"Well, I'm headed to Germany next. It's not very exciting, but you're welcome to join me if you like," Jason said.

Clare was grateful for the offer but she felt she'd already imposed enough on Jason and Sara's kindness as it was. And if anything, she'd begun to feel that maybe having a bit of time to herself might be beneficial. Sara had been very understanding of her ups and downs, but Clare had spent a lot of the holiday putting on a brave face to hide her unhappiness. She was tired of pretending. Tired of hiding her real feelings. Tired of holding back the turmoil of emotion that was buried deep inside of her.

"Thanks, but I think I might spend some time in Miami for a while. I love it there, and it's not too far from home. Could be a good place to go to clear my head."

"Well, the invitation stands if you change your mind."

Clare smiled and raised her drink in a toast to her friends. Grinning, Jason and Sara followed suit and the three of them clinked their glasses together before breaking out into giggles.

"Thanks so much for letting me tag along, guys. I hope I haven't bummed your holiday out too much," Clare said, giving Sara a knowing, apologetic smile.

"Don't be silly," Sara told her with a wink. "It's been lovely having you come along. I'm so glad we could be the ones to put a smile back on your face."

"Here, here!" Jason said enthusiastically, making both Clare and Sara laugh. "Cheers!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

 

 

Lisa sat in the auditorium feeling her eyelids growing heavier by the minute. The lecturer's voice continued to drone on, but Lisa hadn't been following a word she'd been saying for the past half an hour or so.

She was too preoccupied.

As promised, Lisa had made an appointment to see her doctor about her sickness, but the results had been inconclusive. Fortunately, Joey had insisted on accompanying her just in case she decided to wuss out at the last minute. He knew her too well, it seemed.

They'd both been frustrated by the doctor's inability to find out what was wrong, but none more so than Lisa herself. She was already fed up of feeling unwell, and had hoped at the least that the doctor would give her some kind of medication that would clear everything up and get her feeling back to normal again. However, she had no such luck.

Instead, it had been suggested that she try to carry on as normal and attend a few appointments at the hospital to run some further tests. It hadn't been what she'd wanted to hear, but Lisa had no other choice. The only consolation she could find was that if there had been something terribly wrong with her, the doctor would have been able to find it by now.

She could only imagine that she was run down and over–tired. Much like all the other students on her course. She'd done a lot of travelling in recent months, so maybe her body–clock was just messed up, or something? Nearly every student on the course had agreed that the work was too hard, and the lectures too long and boring. It was only the fact that Lisa wanted her degree so badly that she'd decided to stick it out. And, she had a silver lining approaching in just a few months’ time—she was heading out on tour with the group during her summer break.

"Miss Harland!" The professor called suddenly, causing Lisa to start and her heart to start pounding away in her chest. She hadn't been aware that her head had slowly been drooping onto the desk in front of her.

As she heard the laughter of her fellow students in the auditorium, Lisa felt her cheeks flush scarlet with humiliation. She was so embarrassed to have been caught almost falling asleep at her desk.

"Sorry," she said, mumbling her apology, and she slouched low in her seat, raising her shoulders in an attempt to hide her red cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

Lisa wanted to explain that she wasn't feeling well, but she knew that it would sound as though she were just making excuses. She reminded herself that she just had a few more weeks of lectures to get through, and then she'd be free for the whole of the summer. If she looked at it like that, then she could get through anything. Even the most boring lecture in the history of humankind.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Morning, Snipes," Justin said cheerfully as he entered Libby's hospital room and made his way over to her bed. He'd just been chatting with the overnight nurse at the nurses’ station, who had told him that Libby had started to show signs of increased brain activity during the night. Apparently, it was an indication that her brain was beginning to enter more advanced sleep cycles. This had gone completely over Justin's head until the nurse had explained to him that it was a very good sign that Libby was taking more steps in her recovery.

He'd done a lot of research himself, mainly on the internet, and the nurses were so encouraging when he asked questions or needed something explained to him. This morning they'd explained that prolonged periods of sleep and 'wakefulness' indicated that Libby's brain was showing signs of healing, and it was an early indication that she may be reaching a point where she could regain consciousness.

Naturally, receiving that news had put Justin in a very good mood.

"You gonna wake up today?" He asked her as he went about his usual habits of flicking on the stereo, choosing one of Libby's favourite C.D's to play and making himself comfortable in the visitor's chair by her bedside.

"Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick / The one that makes me scream" she said / "The one that makes me laugh" she said / And threw her arms around my neck / "Show me how you do it and I promise you / I promise that I'll run away with you / I'll run away with you..."

 

Day by day, Justin had grown in confidence that Libby was going to get better. He still had bad days, and he struggled when he read or heard something negative and upsetting about her condition, but on the whole he was maintaining his conviction that Libby would wake up.

He knew that he had to keep positive despite all the odds. It wasn't easy, but he hoped that Libby might somehow pick up on his good vibes and that it might help her come back to him.

Spinning on that dizzy edge / I kissed her face and kissed her head / And dreamed of all the different ways I had / To make her glow / "Why are you so far away?" she said / "Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you? / That I'm in love with you?"'

 

"Your mom's here," Justin said as he dumped his jacket over the arm of the chair and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "She's just getting a soda." Justin reached over, and like he always did when he visited Libby, he took one of her hands in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I called Clare last night, too. She seems to be doin' a little better. Not great, but not terrible, either. She said to tell you that she misses you," Justin said, smiling at the thought. He'd been getting on a lot better with Clare recently, and he wondered if that had something to do with her being something like four–thousand miles away in Europe. He couldn't deny that it probably did.

"I know she feels bad about leavin' you, but it seems to be a good thing. Her gettin' away, I mean. I promised I'd call if anything happens. I know she'd never forgive herself if she wasn't here to see you wake up. Plus she'd never let me forget it if I was here and she wasn't. You know how stubborn she is!"

Justin glanced at the photograph by Libby's bed and smiled sadly. He missed seeing her smile. He missed hearing her laugh, and seeing the little dimple that appeared in one of her cheeks when she laughed. It seemed a long time since that night on the beach when they'd play fought in the surf. Too long. A lifetime away.

Justin wondered if Libby had any idea how much time had passed. Was she aware of the passing of day and night? He made a mental note to ask the nurse the next time he saw her. At this rate, he should start carrying a notepad around with him, he thought to himself. He had so many questions that he wanted answers to it seemed the sensible thing to do.

'You / Soft and only / You / Lost and lonely / You / Strange as angels / Dancing in the deepest oceans / Twisting in the water / You're just like a dream...

 

Fortunately, the hospital staff didn't seem to mind his many questions. In fact, they seemed to like the fact that he wanted to know so much about Libby's condition. It wasn't morbid curiosity. He wanted to be able to explain to Libby when she woke up what had happened to her. He hoped that he'd be able to help her come to terms with what she'd been through. He'd had a hard enough time dealing with it himself, he couldn't imagine how it would feel to actually be the patient.

The consequences of what had happened between JC and Clare had not been lost on Justin. He'd witnessed the effects of the fall out on both sides, and he was determined that the same would not happen to him and Libby. It hadn't been easy to watch. Of all the people in his group of friends, JC and Clare seemed the most in–tune. The most together. He'd never have imagined that something could have come between them and make them lose their solid friendship so abruptly.

Justin was adamant that he would not forget the lessons that he'd learned from being on the side–lines of JC and Clare's breakup. As soon as the opportunity arose, he would tell Libby how he felt—regardless of the consequences. He'd nearly lost her physically, and he wasn't going to let anything keep her from him again. Even if—in the end—he discovered that she didn't feel the same way.

Daylight licked me into shape / I must have been asleep for days / And moving lips to breathe her name / I opened up my eyes / And found myself alone / Alone / Alone above a raging sea / That stole the only girl I loved / And drowned her deep inside of me...

 

"Here you go," a soft voice said by his shoulder, and Justin turned to see Catherine at his side, holding a can of Sprite out to him. "They didn't have coke, so I got you a lemonade."

"Thanks," Justin said, accepting the drink with the opposite hand to the one he was holding Libby's with. It would take a lot for him to let go of that.

Catherine perched on the end of Libby's bed and both she and Justin took a sip of their drinks as a comfortable silence filled the room.

"The doc' said she's improving," Justin said with a smile as he lowered his drink and swallowed, anticipating Catherine's reaction.

"Yes," she smiled back. "Apparently we should soon start to see more signs of her coming back to us."

Justin grinned and immediately turned back to look at Libby. Catherine watched him fondly for a moment and smiled as she noticed that he'd begun running his fingers soothingly over the back of Libby's hand. He didn't seem to be aware of it, but the action bought a lump to Catherine's throat.

She took another sip from her own drink, giving herself a chance to control her voice before speaking. Like everyone else who was involved in Libby's daily life, Libby's mother was on an emotional rollercoaster and often found herself tearing up at the smallest of things.

"You care a lot for my daughter, don't you, Justin,? Catherine said, her voice stating the fact rather than actually asking.

"Yeah," Justin replied absently as his eyes roamed over Libby's still face. He still couldn't get used to her being so motionless. It was so unlike her. Like him, she was a ball of energy. Except in the mornings... she wasn't a morning person.

Justin opened his mouth to speak and then hesitated, debating whether or not he should say the words that were hanging off the edge of his tongue. Keeping his eyes fixed on Libby's face, he took a deep breath and said, "I didn't realise how much I took for granted before. She was such a huge part of my life, and yet I never really admitted it to her."

Justin turned around and met Catherine's eyes. She said nothing, but nodded encouragingly and so he continued.

"I wasted a lot of time," he said, regretfully. "I kept pretending that we were just friends. That that was all I ever wanted to be..." He swallowed audibly and looked back at Libby. "It was so stupid. I was such an idiot."

"Justin..." Catherine said gently, and she waited until he turned back around to meet her eyes before continuing. "Are you in love with her?"

Catherine tilted her head slightly and regarded him with curious eyes. It was such a familiar expression that Justin felt as though the air had been sucked right out of his lungs, and he felt the ache in his heart intensify as he stared into Catherine's eyes. They seemed so familiar, and yet so different at the same time. God, I miss her, he though miserably to himself.

Justin hesitated for a moment and then mentally berated himself for it. If he couldn't handle saying the words aloud to Libby’s mother, then how would he ever be able to say them to her?

"Yes," he said in an unfaltering voice, and to his surprise his eyes began to well with tears as he realised that this was the first time that he'd admitted his feelings out loud to anyone. "I am."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

"Has anyone tried contacting Clare recently?" Jamie asked Chris, Joey and Lance who had gathered in her office during their break between vocal sessions.

"I tried calling her this morning but her cell is off," Chris replied.

"Justin's been getting though. He said he spoke to her last night," Lance said. "But I think they arranged a time to talk so that he could update her on Libby."

As he said this, the door to Jamie's office opened slightly and Lisa peered her head through, an apologetic smile on her face. "I'm looking for Joe..." she said before realising that he was already inside. "Oh," she muttered and rolled her eyes, "there you are." Lisa walked across the room and into Joey's outstretched arms.

Lisa had the day off from lectures, and so she'd told Joey that she'd head to the Compound after having a lie–in. She'd been wandering around the Compound for ten minutes looking for him.

"How are you feeling?" Jamie asked Lisa, knowing how unwell she'd been for the past few weeks. Like everyone else, Jamie was worried, but Lisa got tetchy when people fussed over her and so she'd tried to keep her concerns to herself.

"Well, I haven't thrown up yet and I've been awake for three hours! Maybe I am finally getting better?" She said dryly and rolled her eyes. She was so fed with feeling unwell.

"Must be a weird sickness bug or something?" Jamie suggested with a sympathetic smile.

Yeah, I guess." Lisa replied before glancing at Lance who was staring down at the floor, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Lisa nudged Joey with her elbow and pointed at Lance before giggling.

"What's up with his face?" She asked with a chuckle.

"Same thing that's wrong with JC," Joey responded playfully. "His woman's deserted him!"

Lance's head snapped up, and he narrowed his eyes at Joey. "She hasn't deserted me!" he said tetchily.

"Has she or has she not gone back to Missouri?" Chris asked him with a snigger.

Lance turned and glowered at Chris. "Her mother is ill."

"Oh, God help us!" Jamie said with a roll of her eyes. "She's only been gone a week and look at him!"

Lisa sniggered. "Imagine what he'll be like after a month!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Well, don't all say 'hi' at once!" Sara teased from the doorway of the games room where all of *NSYNC were gathered killing time until her arrival and their inevitable return to day–long choreography run–throughs. As soon as they recognised her voice, all their heads snapped around to face her and she beamed at them. She'd missed their goofy faces.

"How was the vacation?" Justin asked from where he stood lining up the white ball on the pool table for his break.

Sara smiled. "It was good. We had a lot of fun," she said, trying not to think about the nights Clare had spent crying on the balcony. "We might even do it again someday."

"Did ya' bring up back anything?" Joey asked as he watched Justin send the white ball flying into the pocket.

"Of course," she answered with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Your gift is a return to dance rehearsals with me," she quipped, crossing the room and finding herself a spare seat on the couch next to JC.

"Wow!" Joey replied sarcastically. "What a treat!"

"Watch it, Fatone!" Sara chuckled as she narrowed her eyes playfully at him. "I don't want any lip from you."

Watching the exchange between Joey and Sara, Chris decided to ask the question that he knew everyone else—and especially JC—was too afraid to ask.

"Has Clare gone home to unpack?" Chris asked in what he hoped was a nonchalant way. It was a working day, after all, and the last he'd heard, Clare was meant to be returning to work that morning.

"Actually, no..." Sara muttered sheepishly and ran a hand through her hair, avoiding JC's eyes. "She didn't come back with me."

Justin looked up from where he was lining up another shot and frowned. "What?"

Sara knew that Clare had been keeping in regular contact with Justin during the holiday, and so she wasn't surprised that he was shocked by the news. But Clare had insisted on not telling anyone other than Jason and Sara her plans. She knew if the rest of the group found out then they would worry, or worse, try to change her mind.

"She's coming back though, right?" Chris asked, meeting Sara's gaze with a no–nonsense stare.

"Of course. She just needs a little more time."

"I'm sure she won't be able to live without us for long," Lance added, more for JC's benefit than anything else. It hadn't been lost on Lance the tension that had arrived to his band mate’s face, or the fact that his eyes were staring unseeing at the floor. Clearly Sara's news had been the last thing he'd wanted to hear and although he was pretending not to, he was hurt. It was obvious to everyone that Clare's change of plans were just another way for her to avoid seeing him.

"Who could?" Joey grinned, trying to lighten the atmosphere, and everyone in the group—except JC—began to laugh.

"I'm guessing she'd rather live without me," JC said sadly over his friend's laughter and at once the uncomfortable atmosphere was back.

Sara sighed and turned to face him properly for the first time. She could see that he was torn up about something and could only presume that it was something to do with Clare.

"She needs this," she reminded him, firmly but gently. "She's been struggling to deal with everything. I'm sure even you can understand that she needs some distance and time to heal."

Even you. The words sounded so accusing and JC fought back the frown that immediately appeared across his brow. Then he remembered. Like Clare, Sara was out of the loop as to what had happened between him and Alyson. Everyone else knew by now, but he hadn't had a chance to speak to Sara since she'd left for Spain. Doubtless, she'd probably also been hearing from Clare what a jerk he was.

"I really need to talk to her—"

"Like I said, she needs some distance," Sara said, lowering her voice so that the rest of the group couldn't hear. "She needs a chance to get over you. You really need to let her."

"But Sara—"

"He's not with Alyson anymore," Chris said loudly causing both JC and Sara's heads to snap around. They narrowed their eyes at his obvious eavesdropping. Apparently the rest of the group could still hear Sara. Chris met JC's accusing look and shrugged.

"What? It's the truth, isn't it! That's what you've been trying to tell Clare this whole time."

"You're not with her?" Sara asked in confusion as she turned back to JC.

"No, I'm not."

"What happened?" Sara asked, not wanting to pry but needing to know the truth. What could have changed in the last week that would have caused them to split? So much for JC being the member of *NSYNC with the least drama, Sara thought to herself. He'd had a lifetime's worth in just a few short weeks!

"We broke up last Sunday. Apparently the baby she said she was carrying wasn't mine."

"Oh, God,"

"Yeah, exactly."

"I kinda wanna say I'm sorry, but..."

"I know. I think that's how everyone feels."

"So Clare...?"

"I tried to tell her. I rushed to the airport, but you'd already left. I tried calling her cell, but it just went to voicemail each time. 'Sides, it's not really the kind of thing you can say over the phone—"

"Hmm... yeah, I get that."

"I was hoping she'd be back today and we could maybe have gone somewhere to talk about it."

"She's decided to extend her holiday," Sara explained, catching Justin's eye. He nodded in understanding but the confusion was evident in his eyes, even from across the room. "She said she'd call you later," Sara told Justin.

"Where has she gone?" Lance asked quietly.

Sara pulled a face. She knew that someone would ask that. "She's asked me not to say. I think she was worried that someone might try to kidnap her or something."

Chris chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Well, that's that plan out the window," he teased, only half joking.

JC attempted a smile, but it wasn't convincing. He hadn't prepared himself for the possibility that Clare might not return to Orlando with Sara, and now he was feeling even more miserable than before. This morning he'd woken up with butterflies at the thought of seeing her again, even though he'd fully expected that she wouldn't be as thrilled to see him as he was her. His disappointment was hard to swallow.

"So... now I'm back you have a week's worth of rehearsals to look forward to. Yay!"

The men groaned.

"Well, thank you for your enthusiasm!" Sara teased, rolling her eyes. "You could try to sound happy about it, you know!"

"Rehearsals! Yay!" Justin muttered sarcastically.

Although she would normally come back with a bitter retort, Sara threw her head back and laughed. Joey had been right—she had missed them. Even their moaning and complaining. As much as they drove her crazy, Sara agreed with what Joey and Lance had been saying—it wasn't easy to live without them for long.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare couldn't sleep.

Maybe she'd drunk too much coffee? Or perhaps it had been a bad idea to watch a scary pay–to–view movie right before going to bed? Either way, as she lay awake staring at the ceiling, she knew that sleep was not going to be an option.

She let out a deep sigh and rolled her eyes. Miami had been a mistake.

If she'd thought that being alone would somehow help her to clear her head, then she’d had been very wrong. In reality, she'd found out that there was nothing scarier than being left alone with her thoughts without any interruption.

Clare pitied her friends. She wasn't an easy person to be around at the moment and she had a new respect for Sara, who'd put up with so much during her vacation. Miami felt too close to home, and yet still a million miles away from where she wanted to be.

Where did she want to be? The answer was easy. She wanted to go back five months in time to when everything had seemed so perfect and life had still been worth living. She wanted her best friend back, and for the easy camaraderie between her and JC to return. She wanted Alyson out of the picture, and to not even be a glimmer of possibility on the horizon. In short, she wanted the impossible.

Letting out another sigh, Clare decided that it wasn't worth lying in bed, torturing herself over the fact she couldn't sleep. There had to be something that she could do in a hotel room at three in the morning. Her eyes settled on her laptop bag, which had remained untouched throughout her trip to Spain, and now Miami. She'd been carrying it around regardless and even now it was propped up against the wall at the other end of the room patiently waiting for her to notice it.

Check emails. That's something I haven't done in over a week.

She climbed out from under the covers and crossed the room to collect her laptop. With any luck she could distract herself by clearing out her inbox which had every chance of boring her into a sleep–like trance. It had been known to work on previous occasions.

Clare removed the computer from the bag and placed it at the bottom of the bed. She sat down in front of it, crossing her legs beneath her as she waited for the welcome screen to load. So far so good. She'd already checked the hotel's Wi–Fi settings in the leather bound visitor's pack, and so it didn't take long for her to connect to the internet. Before she knew it a minute had passed, and she was staring at a page full of unread emails.

'You have 43 unread emails!' Microsoft Outlook told her cheerfully.

Clare let out a sigh. 43. Great. Maybe she didn't have the energy for this after all.

She scanned down the page through the obligatory money–off vouchers, bank detail requests, and suggestions that she'd won competitions she hadn't even entered until she found a name that she recognised.

Jamie King.

Clare smiled to herself. Poor Jamie. She didn't envy her being stuck at work preparing for the tour by herself, and not for the first time since she'd left Orlando, she felt a pang of guilt. 

'Clare, I've finished the re–scheduling and everything is now sorted. I've attached the new schedule for you to have a look at when you get a chance. No pressure, I know you're supposed to be on holiday (but I also know you're like me and can't switch off!) Enjoy your vacation. Love Jam xx'

Clare continued to scan down the page until she noticed Lisa's name.

'Hiya, Clare. I know we spoke yesterday, but I wanted to update you on my hospital appointment. Joey made me go (of course) and I've had loads of tests, but apparently there's NOTHING WRONG. Whatever. So pissed off. Anyway, make sure you enjoy the rest of your holiday. Miss ya and we'll catch up when you're back. Loadz of love, Lis. xxx

The next three emails were all from Justin, with attachments, which she could only guess were things he'd found on the Internet about Libby's condition. Doubtless they would be interesting, but she knew she would have to be completely alert and in her right mind to understand them. Now wasn't the time. She scrolled down to the email sent most recently. Judging by the date, she realised at once that it'd been sent after she'd spoken to him last.

'She opened her eyes!!!!! Clare, she actually OPENED HER EYES!!!'

Clare grinned and let out a snort of amusement. She could feel Justin's overwhelming excitement through the email, and she sucked in a breath as the reality dawned on her. Libby was starting to regain consciousness. Her eyes flicked to the rest of the email, speed reading through the remainder of the text.

'It was only for a second and she hasn't done it since but !!!! It was amazing!! I wish you could've seen it. The doctor said that she could wake up any day now, so you better get your butt back here. Come back and start bossing us all around again! Call me when you get this – JT

Clare grinned and reached for her cell phone before realising the time. It was 3:18 a.m. There was no way that Justin would appreciate her calling him in the middle of the night. Even if it was to talk about Libby.

She closed down Justin's email and continued scrolling.

'Turn on your phone!'

That was so Chris. Blunt and to the point. Not to mention repeated three times in a row. Clare smirked and shook her head. Chris.

The next block of emails took Clare's breath away.

38. And all from one person.

What can he possibly have to say thirty–eight times? Clare asked herself as she highlighted all the emails from JC, and with a click of the touch–pad sent them all to the recycle bin without a moment of hesitation.

'These messages are about to be permanently deleted!' the computer warned her. 'Are you sure you want to delete these messages?'

Oh, yes. Another click on the touchpad and the messages were gone.

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

Later that afternoon, Clare found herself back in her hotel room staring at her cell–phone as she chewed down anxiously on her thumbnail. It was time. She had to do this, she kept reminding herself, but it was hard. Taking a deep breath she picked up her phone and dialled Chris' cell–phone number.

Time had run out, and Clare knew in her gut that it was time to head home. She'd stayed away long enough, and it was high–time to return to her life in Orlando.

Clare had kept in regular phone contact with Justin and Catherine about Libby's progress whilst she'd been away, but everyone else had been communication with her via email. It had been so much easier for them all, and Clare had been relieved to find that she'd had more control over the subject matter that way. She hadn't admitted it aloud to anyone, but she'd been fearful of speaking to her friends over the phone just in case she heard his voice in the background. She'd been trying to protect herself, and so far it had worked. For no one dared mention JC in an email.

Clare fully anticipated getting an earful of abuse from Chris for not keeping in contact more regularly, but she stood by her decision. This vacation was supposed to have been an opportunity for her to clear her head, and there's no way that could have happened if she'd been attached to her cell–phone the entire time.

Her compromise was to let him be the first person to hear that she was coming back to Orlando. And she hoped that if she asked nicely, that he might also pick her up from the bus depot and give her a ride home.

"'Lo?"

"Hello," Clare said, smiling at the familiar sound of his voice.

"Hello?"

"Hello."

"Hello?"

"Okay, at this rate this is going to be a very expensive phone call!"

"Giddy?"

Clare sniggered at the obvious excitement in her voice. She was flattered, but also amused. Sometimes it was so hard to believe that Chris was the oldest member of *NSYNC. He was just a big kid at heart.

"This is she."

"Where the heck have you been? I've almost been tempted to fill out a missing person’s ad you've been gone so long!"

"I'm on vacation!" Clare answered shadily. "You knew that."

"I meant where exactly? Sara came home and said you wanted to keep it a secret, or somethin' crazy like that."

Clare chuckled. "Well, since you asked I'm in Miami."

"Miami! What? What are you doin' there? I've tried calling you but your phone was always off."

"Yeah... bad reception."

"Bad reception, my ass," Chris snorted not buying her excuse in the least. "You've just been avoiding me, admit it. I remember the last thing you said at the airport, 'I have my cell with me. I'll be in touch!' Whatever, you big fat liar!"

"I said I had it with me," she replied with a chuckle, "I didn't say that it would be on."

"Technicality," Chris replied, the laughter also evident in his voice. "You'll have to pay for that when you get back you know."

They fell into an easy silence, and Clare began to wonder when it would be appropriate to mention her plans to return. Should I wait for him to ask?

"How the hell are you, anyways?" Chris asked, breaking through her train of thought. "It seems ages since we've seen you."

"I'm on the road to recovery," Clare answered in a droll voice. "My rehab is going well. I'm almost clean."

Knowing that Chris couldn't see her, Clare pulled a face. She knew that her words were far from true. She was nowhere near being completely over JC, however much she wanted to be. But at least she was making steps in the right direction. She had to start somewhere.

"Good, good. And have you been taking your pills?" Chris asked playing along.

"Which ones? There are so many it's hard to keep track," Clare giggled back. It was so easy to talk to Chris. He made even the most difficult of conversations easier to bear. Maybe because he was so child–like. He didn't get swept into complicated adult conversations full of angst. He got straight to the point, and was one of the few people that Clare knew who could be counted on to say exactly what he was thinking.

"I'm fed up of talking about me, though," Clare said, eager to draw the conversation away from herself. Discussing how she was feeling only made her think about how she was feeling, and that always took her to the same dark place. Once again, she didn't want to go there. She didn't want an image of him in her head. "How is everyone else?"

"Everyone is good. I'm guessing I don't have to tell you that we don't see Justin any more. He's taken up permanent residence at the hospital. I think they're even going to name a wing after him soon—"

Clare chuckled. Poor Justin. There was no way that he was going to be able to keep his feelings for Libby under wraps now.

"—Joey and Lisa are the same smug, happy couple that they always were," Chris teased, and Clare heard an irritated 'hey!' from Joey in the background. Clare giggled. She'd missed hearing the guys teasing and poking fun out of each other.

"—Lance is like a bear with a sore head since Jenny left, so that's always fun—"

"Chris, that's mean," Clare interrupted, but she couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice.

"—Sara has returned with a renewed energy, and I swear she is out to kill us all. And last but not least, JC—"

"So you're all good. Great. How are you and Jamie?" Clare asked cutting him off before he could go any further. Chris let out a deep sigh but didn't object.

"Good, thanks. We've reached second base," Chris chuckled and turned his head to wink at his girlfriend, who was watching him from across the room. Jamie scowled at the smug grin on her boyfriend's face and Chris wiggled his eyebrows suggestively back at her.

"You've both said the 'L' word?" Clare asked with a chuckle.

"Yes, but I'd like it officially noted on the record that she said it first—" He said, before his voice was cut off abruptly. Clare frowned and pulled her cell–phone away from her face to check her signal. It was showing at least three bars, and gave her no explanation for why his voice had cut out so suddenly.

"Chris? Hello? Are you still there?"

Clare heard the sound of hushed talking and strange, muffled noises before Chris returned to the phone.

"Err... Clare, there's someone here who would like to talk to you..."

Clare's heart began to thump loudly in her chest. Let it be Justin. Please let it be Justin.

"Who is it?" She asked tersely, determined that if Chris was about to hand the phone over to who she thought he was, then she'd end the call first. She was not going to be tricked into talking to him.

"Chris? I said 'who is it?'" She snapped, her voice coming out angrier than she intended.

There was no reply.

"Kirkpatrick!"

"He's gone. It's me."

Those four words sent Clare into a trembling mess.

God dammit! She thought miserably to herself. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen!

Should she hang up? She wondered. Could she hang up? Despite her best wishes, JC's voice still set her heart racing and caused her stomach to start summer–saulting. Clare screwed up her face and willed her body to stop reacting to the sound of his voice. It really wasn't a good sign of her abilities to get over him. Clearly she hadn't made as much progress as she'd hoped.

"Hello? Are you still there?"

No. "Yes."

"Hi."

Clare frowned and chewed down on her bottom lip. "Hi," she replied shortly even as her heart continued to race in her chest.

"How have you been?"

Terrible. "Fine."

"What have you been up to?" JC asked, and Clare could detect the tension in his voice. He was clearly trying to tread carefully and draw her out, but she knew him well enough to know his game. He'd try to get her chatting and feeling safe before pulling the rug out from under her, but she wasn't going to let that happen again.

"Soul searching," she snapped. "I'm lucky, it turns out that I actually have one."

JC cleared his throat. "Okay, I guess I deserved that," he mumbled, trying but failing to keep the hurt out of his voice. Of course he'd expected her to still be angry, and he knew that having this conversation over the phone wasn't the right way, but he was running out of options. He was grasping at straws here. He hoped that even with her anger, she might at least be able to hear him out. To keep things civil.

"No, believe me that's pretty tame for what you deserve. Unfortunately, the distance between us prevents me from hurting you properly."

Perhaps not, JC thought glumly. He should have known better, he told himself as he tried to think of a way of turning the conversation back around in his favour. He knew that Clare could hold a grudge.

JC cleared his throat once again. "I tried to get to the airport to see you. Clare, I really need to talk to you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

JC sucked in a breath and released it in a controlled sigh. He was beginning to get annoyed, but he knew that he had to keep it together. He had to keep reminding himself that he'd hurt her and that she was acting completely understandably considering what he'd done to her. Even so, it wasn't easy...

"Come on, don't be like that. Can't we at least talk about this? Can't you just give me an opportunity to explain?"

"To explain why you broke my heart? No, thank you. That's definitely a conversation that I don't need to hear."

"But..."

"Nope! Ding, ding, ding! Time's up! That's my quota of tolerance used up for today. Pass me back to Chris, please."

"Clare..."

"No! You should be grateful I'm even speaking to you, buddy. How dare you—"

"It's me."

"Chris! Why did you give him the phone?" Clare asked angrily. "What kind of friend are you?"

"He wanted to talk to you!" Chris replied, playing the innocent card. "I swear he ripped the phone right out of my hand!"

"Chris!"

"Okay! Calm down! Jeez, he really did a number on you, didn't he! Anyways, what were you callin' for? Other than to have that precious moment with JC I mean..."

Clare decided to be the bigger person and ignore his little jibe. His question had reminded her of her initial agenda, and she tried to rein in her anger after remembering that she needed a favour from him.

"I'm coming back tomorrow," Clare said, fighting back the flutter of butterflies she felt at saying the words aloud.

"Don't tell me, you need someone to pick you up?"

Clare smiled. Great. Now I don't even have to ask.

"You read my mind. Yes, please."

"No problems, I think JC is the only person free tomorrow, so he'll—"

"Chris!"

"Jokin'! I'm only jokin'!" Chris chuckled and even Clare had to fight back a slight giggle. He really was impossible sometimes. "Text me when you're ready and I'll come and get you, 'kay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

 

Chris glanced across at JC—who was still hovering near his shoulder—as he hung up the phone and flashed him a sheepish grin.

"Well, that went well," he quipped as he eyed his friend carefully. Of course Chris had only heard one half of the conversation, but he'd been able to tell from what he had overheard—and the expression left on JC's face afterwards—that Clare had laid into him pretty badly. "You okay?"

"She'll never forgive me for this..." JC said glumly as he wrung his hands together.

"Forgive you for what?" Chris asked with an edge of frustration in his voice. "Doin' the right thing?" He let out a deep sigh. Already he thought that the tension between JC and Clare had been getting out of hand and had been going on for far too long. They really both needed to just sit down and talk it out, but it seemed that neither of them were any closer to a resolution.

Chris pitied JC. Of course he also understood Clare's feelings, but he sympathised with his band mate’s predicament. The decision JC had been forced to make hadn't been easy, and he'd been prepared to sacrifice an awful lot to stand by his actions. But even so he'd been the one ending up with his feelings hurt.

Chris hadn't been completely shocked to hear that the baby Alyson was carrying wasn't JC's. Finding out had been a surprise, and the way JC had discovered the news had shocked him, but Chris had always had his doubts about Alyson. Sure, looks wise she was exactly the kind of woman he knew that JC liked—dark–haired, tall and curvaceous. But personality wise? No way.

"You were torn between two people, and one was pregnant," Chris reminded JC, somewhat unnecessarily. "You owned up to your responsibilities, man. Not a lot of guys would have done that. For that, at least, you should be proud."

JC let out a bitter laugh and ruefully shook his head. "But the kid wasn't even mine!"

"You didn't know that at the time. You thought it was yours and you were tryin' to do the right thing. Giddy knows that you wouldn't have hurt her intentionally. She's just acting out 'cause she's upset, and she's tryin' to deal with her pain. She just needs time, man. You'll see."

Chris nodded confidently and although he had no doubts that Clare and JC would eventually work it out, he wasn't as confident that it would be any time soon. He knew Clare was an expert at holding grudges, and he could only guess that JC would have to jump through a lot of hoops to get back in her good graces. There was no doubt that she would make him earn her forgiveness.

JC nodded sadly and attempted a smile. "Man, I really hope you're right."

~~~~~*~~~~~

 

 

~~~~~*~~~~~

The tour was approaching at an unstoppable pace.

There was now only a little over a month left until the group were due to leave for Europe, and Sara was working at a breakneck speed to make sure that the men were prepared and ready.

Fortunately, there wasn't any more new choreography left to learn, but the guys still needed to brush up their steps on the old routines—which they hadn't run through properly since the last tour, over six months ago—and they were a little rusty. Most of the group's television appearances only required them to perform one or two songs at the most, and so they tended to stick to their newest material. When they weren't regularly performing the older tracks, the men had the habit of forgetting the routines, which irritated Sara no end. It was some of her earliest work, and she didn't like being reminded of how easily forgettable some of it had been.

Sara knew that the group were just as stressed and exhausted as she was, but she was determined to have the routines spotted and locked in their memories. Ideally ahead of schedule for a change.

"Where’s Chris and JC?" Sara asked as she realised that there were only three out of the five men present in the room. 

"They were here a minute ago," Lance said, looking around the room as he stretched his hamstring.

"Go and find them, please," Sara ordered Justin as he sat cross–legged on the floor having already finished his warm–ups.

"Who made me errand boy?" He complained as he narrowed his eyes at Sara. He didn't see why he had the unfortunate task of having to round up his band mates. He was on time, and he had much more reason than either Chris or JC to be distracted and off his game.

Sara turned her head and flashed him a deadly glare, which he knew meant that she was beginning to lose her patience. He knew better than to mess with her when she was in that kind of mood.

"Fine!" Justin huffed as he got to his feet and stomped across the room towards the exit. "I'm goin', he said as he made his way to the door, mumbling something unintelligible under his breath which caused Sara's heckles to rise.

She took a deep breath and tried to ignore his muttering. She had no time for dramatics, or diva–like behaviour. She had a tour to prepare for, and thanks to Chris and JC, she was already wasting precious time.

She needed all five members of *NSYNC in her studio now, and they'd better be ready to work their asses off.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare woke up early with her stomach wound tightly in knots. Today was the day that she was going back to Orlando. Back to her job, back to her friends, back to her normal daily routine.

It was a surreal feeling. Although she'd only been away fourteen days—a perfectly ordinary duration for a vacation—it had felt so much longer to her. Probably because she’d felt so torn about it the whole time. Part of her had been so eager to get away, and yet even as she prepared to head home, she still didn't feel completely ready. She'd begun to realise that she maybe never would.

The main reason was JC. She was so confused by it all, and she didn’t know how she would feel seeing him again.

Since deleting his emails a few days ago, a load more had arrived. And then he'd tried calling her cell, which she'd ignored. And now that she'd spoken to him—all thanks to Chris—she'd spent the night lying awake and running over their brief conversation again and again in her mind.

He'd sounded pretty desperate to speak to her, but Clare couldn't for the life of her figure out why. What could there possibly be to say? He was marrying another woman, for goodness sakes. Another woman who also happened to be pregnant! Other than keep trying to apologise, there was nothing left to say.

Libby, on the other hand, she was excited to see. Justin's updates had confirmed to her the fact that Libby was slowly regaining consciousness, and Clare couldn't wait to be back in Orlando in the hopes that she, too, could witness this. It was the one thing eclipsing her hesitations to come home. No matter how she was feeling about JC, those feelings wouldn't be enough to keep her away from Libby for any longer.

Packing to leave was turning out to be a nightmare—as usual. Thanks to the fact that she'd only packed seven days’ worth of clothes, Clare had had to use the hotels cleaning service and consequently her clothes were all nicely fluffed and dried and no longer fitted neatly into her suitcase. She'd already re–packed it twice, and her frustrations were beginning to grow.

Absent–mindedly flicking on the TV to help keep her emotions under check, Clare emptied the entire case onto the bed and started again. The task didn't hold her concentration for long, and when she heard the sound of a familiar ballad playing, her eyes snapped over to the TV screen. The last thing she’d expected to see was Justin’s face staring back at her.

“…God must have spent a little more time on you, on you, on you...”

Clare stood there, stunned. Her eyes scanned the TV screen until she realised that the she was watching a music channel, which was proudly announcing in the top right hand corner of the screen that she was watching the countdown of the 'top bands weekend'.

Well, that makes a little more sense, Clare thought as she continued to watch the video. She couldn't help but feel a little smug that the video had been included in the countdown. It was one of her favourites, and she loved the arrangement of the song, the vocals, the concept and even the crazy white suits that the men had been forced to wear.

Unable to fight it, Clare smiled fondly as she remembered back to the day of the video shoot.

+ + +

"Okay, guys, the director is kinda getting edgy," Clare warned the men through the dressing room door as she waited for them to get ready to film the next segment of the video. "Are you ready yet?"

Clare glanced over her shoulder at Justin's mother, Lynn, and Libby, who were standing behind her looking anxious. The group had been expected on set ten minutes ago, and it didn't give a good impression keeping everyone waiting.

Fortunately, at that moment the door opened and the five members of *NSYNC trooped out in single file, their faces showing their displeasure and discomfort in the blindingly white suits.

"This sucks!" Justin complained as he tugged on the collar of his suit and sneered.

"Shhh!" Lynn chided as she rushed over to him and gently slapped his hand away so that she could re–adjust his collar. "Don't be rude."

Libby sniggered as Justin bowed his head, chastised, and stood still so that his mother could dress him. Hearing her laughter, Justin's head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes at her over his mother's shoulder.

"I seem to be having a little trouble with this tie..." JC grumbled in frustration as he turned to Clare and pulled awkwardly on one of the uneven flaps. Clare grinned and shook her head as she reached up to neaten his tie for him.

"A grown man who can't even dress himself," she teased as she clicked her tongue. Once she was satisfied with his tie, Clare patted him gently on the chest and stepped back to admire her work. "There ya' go, Romeo."

"Thank you," he grinned, although he still looked unbelievably uncomfortable. So much so that Clare had to laugh. Whoever had decided on the white suits had really been kidding themselves that it was a good look.

Clare glanced from JC to the rest of the group, who were all cutting eyes at each other, clearly having a lot that they wanted to say but not wanting to say it in front of their peers. She looked them all up and down, checking that they were all similarly well–dressed.

"I guess you'll have to do..." Clare continued to tease, even though deep down she felt herself well up with pride at the sight of them. They all looked so smart and handsome. "Unfortunately we don't have enough time to make you as handsome as we'd hoped..."

"Plus the plastic surgeon was unavailable!" Libby added with a giggle, and the five men all turned to her with narrowed eyes. None more so than Justin.

"Ohh, you're so funny," Justin retorted as he broke out of line to try to tickle her around the middle. Libby jumped out of the way of his hand and let out a little squeal of protest. "You're such a funny, funny person..."

"Come on!" Lynn chided him as she grabbed him around the shoulders and gave him a gentle shove in the direction of the green screen, where the director of the video was waiting. The rest of the group reluctantly followed after.

"I do believe I got to you!" Libby called after him in a sing–song voice as she and Clare followed after.

+ + +

The video hadn't been *NSYNC's most memorable music video to date, but the day of filming had certainly been memorable for Libby and Clare. It had been the first time they'd witnessed the making of a music video, and they'd been delighted to be asked by the group to attend. It had been one of the early memories that had cemented their friendship with the group, and one that Clare wouldn't change for anything.

She smiled as she thought back to the time when everything had been so new and exciting. When she'd woken up each morning excited for the day ahead, raring to get to work to find out what was in store for her.

It had been before her and JC could tell each other's thoughts by just a glance. When she'd still been getting to know him, and him her. But it had been an exciting time. A time of discovery and surprises. A time of intimate moments together without the added weight of second–guessing his words and actions to see if they concealed a hidden meaning. She'd been so open with him because it had been so easy to be herself, and be honest with him. She'd enjoyed his company simply because he was interesting to talk to and had seemed to take an interest in her, too.

Clare hadn't known the exact moment when her feelings had crossed the line between friends and something more. It had been so natural, so easy that she hadn't been able to mark it in a significant way. She'd simply looked him in the eye on an ordinary, insignificant day at the Compound and known without a shadow of a doubt that she loved him. It had been as simple as that.

Clare let out a deep sigh as the ache inside of her slowly began to consume her once again. She'd let her mind get carried away and now she'd end up having to pay the price. She glanced at the unorganised pile of clothing on her bed and her empty, open suitcase beside it. There was only one thing that would keep her mind of JC for a while, and that was packing.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Today is the day that I finally get rid of you!" Jamie teased playfully as she hauled the last of Kelly's suitcases to the front door of her apartment, letting out a loud huff under the weight.

Kelly spun around on the bar–stool that she was sitting on whilst finishing up the last of her breakfast cereal and flashed Jamie a smile. "It's not like we've spent loads of time together anyway!" she retorted playfully as she dropped her spoon into the now empty bowl.

"That's called work, hon," Jamie told her with a wry smile. "It happens to the best of us."

"No, it's called boyfriend," Kelly corrected her with a giggle, laughing at Jamie's reaction. "But at least I got to meet *NSYNC! And my cousin's future husband..."

"Shut up!" Jamie chided, colouring slightly at Kelly’s words. She was nowhere near ready to think of Chris in that way. Even calling him her boyfriend still felt a little weird.

"I'm only teasin'," Kelly said with a grin. "So are you gonna miss me?"

Jamie hesitated and tilted her head to the side, pretending to need time to think about her answer. Kelly rolled her eyes and smirked. "Jeez, thanks!"

Jamie giggled and crossed the room to wrap her cousin up in a warm hug. "Of course I'll miss you! You're welcome back here any time."

"Any time?"

"Just make sure you call first," Jamie added as an afterthought and the pair of them burst out laughing.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare stepped off the bus and sucked in a deep breath as she scanned the bustling crowd for signs of her friends. She'd told Chris that she would arrive at the Orlando Crossings Mall at ten forty–five, and true to her word the bus had arrived exactly on time.

Fortunately, Clare’s was one of the first suitcases to be unloaded from the hold, and so she was able to quickly wheel it across the road to the entrance of the mall where she’d told her friends she would meet them.

It took a few seconds before she spotted a familiar face in the crowd, and she waved a hand above her head to try to catch her friends’ attention. "Fat One!" She called loudly and Joey's head snapped around at the sound.

"Gid'!" He called back causing the rest of the group to follow his gaze until they, too, spotted Clare.

"Jeez, I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added another one!" Clare teased as she reached out to Joey for a hug. She chuckled into his ear as he pulled her tightly to his chest. She reached out a hand and patted his stomach. "I remember you only having the one stomach, too!" Joey growled and pretended to be offended.

"And I remember when you weren't so bitter and twisted," he retorted with a glint in his eye.

Clare threw back her head and laughed. "You remember that far back?"

"Aha! The wanderer returns!" Chris said as he made his way over. At the sound of his voice, Clare turned and flashed him a grin.

"Hey," Clare said as he also pulled her in for a hug. "Is it just you and Joe?"

"Nah, Jam's here..." Chris said as he turned to the side to let Jamie slip through the gap between them so that she could also say hello. Clare beamed at her friend and reached out her arms wide to wrap Jamie up in an enthusiastic hug. They both giggled as they rocked from side to side, feeling as though they hadn't seen each other in months.

Clare opened her eyes and intended to say something to Chris, but instead found herself staring straight at JC, who was standing awkwardly beside Jamie, his hands stuffed deeply into his jean pockets. He flashed her a tense, uncomfortable smile as he met her eyes.

Clare’s head shot around to shoot daggers at Chris.

"...and JC came too," he added quickly, the grimace evident on his face.

"I can see that," Clare muttered as she turned her attention to the pull–out handle of her suitcase. "Dare I ask why?"

"Because we need to talk," JC answered hastily.

"No, we don't," Clare snapped before wheeling her case in front of her body so that it could act as a form of barrier between them. JC took a step towards her, hesitated momentarily before glancing down at her case and looking up to meet her eyes once again. Hurt and confusion were evident in the depths of his eyes, but Clare refused to let it sway her reserve.

She shrugged carelessly. “What? We don’t.”

"I really—"

"Yeah, well, brains aren't everything. In fact, I guess in your case they're nothing!"

"Jeez, did you take a course in insults while you were away?" Joey interrupted with a roll of his eyes. "Because if so, you should think about asking for your money back."

"Nah, that's all her," Jamie said with a chuckle as she headed over to where Chris was standing. She slipped her hand into his and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "She's always been like this, you've just never been on the receiving end of it before."

"If I want any shit from you I'll squeeze your head!" Clare warned Jamie as the group slowly made their way towards the underground parking lot where Chris had parked his car. The group easily fell into step with each other, all except for Clare who had a hard job avoiding JC. Every time he tried to get close enough to talk to her, Clare pretended to have some sort of trouble with her case so that she had an excuse to stop and fall out of step with him.

"How can someone so small hold so much hate?" He asked aloud after she'd stopped for the third time.

Clare scowled at him as they reached the car and Chris tossed her case not very carefully into the trunk. Watching the exchange between the pair, Chris glanced meaningfully at Jamie, who grinned and raised an eyebrow.  

Jamie had been adamant that JC shouldn't come with them to pick up Clare, but Chris had insisted. Now that she was being proved right, Jamie couldn't keep the smug grin off her face. Thanks to Chris, they now had a tense forty–minute car journey to endure, and it was all his fault.

"It's a monster you created, buddy," Clare spat at JC.

"Come on," Chris muttered impatiently as he made his way round to the driver's side of his car and climbed in. Jamie followed suit and made herself comfortable in the front passenger's seat beside him, leaving three seats vacant in the rear for Joey, Clare and JC. Clare narrowed her eyes at the realisation of what was happening.

"Oh no! No way am I sitting in the back with you two!" Clare barked as Joey began to slip into the left hand seat, leaving the door open for her to follow him. He leaned forward and flashed her an innocent smirk.

"What?"

"What do you mean what?” She asked, jarring her thumb in JC’s direction. “I’m not sitting next to him.”

"God! She's only been back five minutes, and she's already bossing us all around!" Chris groaned from the front seat. "Just get in the car, dammit. Who cares who sits next to who?"

“Whom,” Jamie corrected under her breath, receiving a warning glare from Chris for her efforts.

“Just get in the car!”

"I care,” Clare huffed, refusing to get into the car until Joey vacated his seat.

"Well, hurry up and sort it out then. This isn't the only thing I have planned for today, you know,” Chris complained.

"Oh yeah," Jamie remarked with a snigger. "Got a date with your Playstation, have you?"

Chris once again narrowed his eyes at his girlfriend. "Maybe," he muttered under his breath. "It is my day off..."

Clare stood beside the car, staring expectantly at Joey who held her gaze but did nothing. "What?" He asked eventually.

"I'm waiting for you to move!"

"Just get in the car!" Jamie groaned from the front.

"I told you, I'm not—"

"Fine! God!" Joey exclaimed as he slid back across the seats and climbed out of the car. Clare immediately flashed him a winning smile before jumping in to his now vacant seat. It’d taken a while, but she was finally getting her way.

Just as Joey was about to slide into the seat after her, JC reached forward and grasped his arm. Joey turned, and reading the expression on his friend’s face, took a step away from the vehicle, allowing JC to slip silently into the centre seat. Once JC was settled, Joey jumped into the rear driver’s seat, slammed the door closed and told Chris to drive off. With any luck, they’d be out of the car lot before Clare realised what had happened.

Chris didn't need telling twice. He wheel–spun out of the parking space before glancing up to meet Joey's eyes in the rear–view mirror. Both of them were silently laughing, waiting for the moment when Clare would turn and see JC sitting beside her instead of Joey. Up till now she'd been distracted by fiddling with her seatbelt and checking that she had her handbag with her. She was completely oblivious.

Suddenly remembering her most recent conversation with Lisa over email, Clare turned her head to ask Joey how his girlfriend was feeling, but instead of meeting a pair of brown eyes she was faced with two dark blue ones instead, accompanied by a winning, toothy smile.

JC didn’t waste a second. "Hi,” he said, dazzling her with all of his charm.

Clare hated herself for it, but the hint of a smile lifted the corners of her mouth and she had to turn her head towards the window so that he couldn't see that she was smiling. Damn him, she chastised herself as she fought back a chuckle. She'd never been able to resist that cheeky grin. And if this was any indication on how long she'd be able to maintain her wounded, angry façade, then things weren't looking good for her. She'd have to up her game.

I can't get rid of you / I don't know what to do / I don't even know who is growing on whom / 'Cause everywhere I go you're there / Can't get you out of my hair / Can't pretend that I don't care, it's not fair

You're really growing on me / (or am I growing on you) / You're really growing on me / (or am I growing on you) / Any fool can see.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Since opening her eyes a few days before, Libby’s progress seemed to stall in the days following Clare’s return. For Clare this had been the most upsetting part of coming home—even more so than seeing JC again. Although she'd known that it was foolish, she’d allowed herself to hope that her friend was only days away from regaining consciousness, and as the days passed since her homecoming, Clare had become more and more deflated as she’d realised that Libby was still far from out of the woods.

Libby's chief consultant had been kind enough to explain to her that Libby still had a chance of entering a persistent vegetative state—which often occurred in coma patients after they’d shown initial signs of coming around. Once he'd explained that this could lead to a total lack of mental function, Clare had been left feeling more anxious and afraid than ever.

On the whole, the medical team seemed pleased with Libby's progress. Her age and healthy lifestyle meant that she had a very good chance of recovering from her injuries, although the doctors had been keen to reiterate that there were no guarantees.

Like Justin, Clare was trying her best to keep positive, but the information had unsettled her. The weight–like feeling that she'd been carrying around since Libby's accident gained another five pounds in her first few days home from vacation.  

Clare had returned to her apartment—which still felt empty without Libby—and tried not to dwell on the fact that she'd returned to exactly the same problems that she'd gone away to escape from. Just like she'd expected she would.

Justin was also living a life of emotional highs and lows. He was exhausted from the tour preparations, and still wasn't sleeping well despite barely being able to keep his eyes open most of the time. His mind was preoccupied, and he found himself unable to concentrate on anything for long, which was frustrating both his band mates and himself. He was usually incredibly professional at all times, and put one–hundred percent into his work, but now he was barely able to focus on anything but his inner turmoil over Libby.

Time was running out. He had just over a month left before he and the other members of the group were due to leave for Europe, and he still hadn’t been able to make a fixed decision over what he was going to do about it.

He spent practically all of his free time at the hospital—what little of it there was—and although he'd been pleased to have Clare back in Orlando for Libby's sake, he hadn't been particularly gracious about having to relinquish some of his treasured time with Libby over to her. He'd forgotten that this had been part of the deal, and he was once again back to being tetchy and unpredictable in her presence. The old feelings of jealously and resentment had been resurrected, and everyone was once again walking on eggshells around him.

"So the tour's less than a month away now," Clare remarked in as pleasant a voice as she could muster as she sat beside Libby's bed and glanced at Justin. She was trying to share some of her time with him to help ease the transition of her being home, but it was a gesture that didn’t seem to be appreciated by Justin, and was only really making both parties feel uncomfortable.

Justin was sitting on the edge of Libby’s bed, and he tried not to narrow his eyes at Clare’s mention of the tour. He was fed up of hearing about it. The only thing that the tour meant to him at that point in time was a separation from Libby, and there was no way that he was going to be excited about that.

"Mmm–hmm.”

"Are you looking forward to it?" Clare asked lightly, trying to draw him out. She hated that things were so tense between them, and hated that they were so defensive around each other. They both loved Libby, she reasoned. It needn’t be a competition to see who loved her the most.

Justin let out a sigh and crossed his arms defensively over his chest. Ever since Clare’s return he’d been waiting for her to ask this. Of course she’d be pleased for him to be away on tour, he grumbled to himself. That way she’d have Libby all to herself. No doubt she was probably counting down the hours till he’d be gone.  

"Dunno," he muttered, his eyes never leaving Libby's face. “I dunno how I feel.”

"Oh?"

"Dunno if I'm gonna do the tour."

"What do you mean?" Clare asked as a frown appeared on her brow. She didn’t like the direction the conversation was heading. Justin flashed her a glare that told her that she really shouldn't need him to say the words out loud.

"If Libby isn’t better by the time we have to leave then I’m not going," he said stubbornly.

Clare's mouth dropped open, and she stared at his hard, defensive face in shock. What the hell was the matter with him? There would be outrage if he didn't attend the tour. The whole thing would have to be rescheduled—again—and it would cost the record label hundreds of thousands of dollars. If not more. It was preposterous of him to say that he wouldn't go. It just wasn't an option.

"Justin! That's crazy! You know you can't do that—"

"I don't see why not,” he replied, “they can't force me to go.”

Clare sucked in a deep breath and tried not to lose her temper. "Do you realise how much time everyone has put into preparing for this tour? We've already had to re–schedule once, there's no way we could do it again!"

"There's no reason to reschedule the tour," Justin said matter–of–factly. "I just won't go."

Clare bit back her anger and forced herself to sit on her clenched fists so that she didn’t get up and punch him in the mouth. She couldn't believe that he'd be so selfish as to pull out of the tour at the last minute, especially when so many people had been working so hard just to make it a possibility in the first place. Overlooking his feelings for Libby, it was a completely selfish thing to do, and it made her blood boil.

"You can't do that," she snapped back angrily. "*NSYNC is the five of you together, not four. The fans would be so disappointed if you weren't there, Justin." To say the least. Clare was under no misconception about who the most popular member of the group was. She ran the fan club after all.

“Libby’s my priority now. I’d never forgive myself if I wasn’t there when she needed me.”

Clare shook her head but forced herself not to chew him out. There had to be more to it than that. He loved touring and performing; it was what made all the hard work and long hours worthwhile. He would never give all that up without good reason, and so Clare took a deep breath and willed herself to be calm. She had to handle this face on. It wasn’t easy to broach the subject with him, but Clare knew that she had to try. If not for her, then for the other members of *NSYNC.

“You do realise that it could be a long time before Libby wakes up, don't you?” Clare asked him gently. “I mean… it could be a long time."

Justin said nothing but Clare saw his jaw tense. He’d heard her even if he wasn’t prepared to answer right away.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, Justin. And I know you've been so amazingly positive about this whole situation, but I don't think you quite understand how—"

"I get it," he snapped and Clare balked slightly at the venom in his voice. He turned and stared her down with his piercing blue eyes. "I do. I get it."

Clare hesitated. “Okay. I just don't want you putting your life on hold because—"

"Because what?” he asked angrily, his eyes flashing. “Because she's in a coma? Because going on tour would mean leaving her on her own for months? Because I don't want to leave her? Because I love her?"

For a moment Clare was speechless. She’d never heard him speak about Libby that way before, and his words seemed to echo around the room as the significance of their meaning sunk in. He loved Libby. Not just liked her, but loved her. He wasn’t pretending any more.

Clare struggled to find the right words, and for a moment she babbled something about how she understood and sympathised with him before Justin cut her off abruptly.

"There's nothing you can say, Clare. There's nothing that anyone can say. I've made up my mind, and that's all there is to it." He turned around to face Libby again, dismissing Clare and the conversation with a turn of his head. Clare sucked in another deep breath and forced herself to continue despite reading his body language and knowing that she was treading a very fine line.

“All I’m trying to say it that you can’t pause your life just because of Libby. You’re the one who’s always talking about pressing forward and bettering yourself…”

Justin's head snapped around and he glowered at her, preparing to chew her out and doubtless say something that they would both regret.

"Please let me finish,” Clare pleaded as she raised a hand to stop him from speaking. “I understand that you love her. I understand that you feel torn. But you can't not do this tour, Justin. You have responsibilities to people other than Libby. You mustn’t sacrifice your career. Not when you guys are so close to making it to the big time."

Justin held her gaze but Clare noticed his tense shoulders slump ever so slightly, despite the stubborn expression remaining on his face. "I can't do it, Clare,” he said. “I can’t abandon her like that. I won’t.”

"It's not abandoning her," Clare argued, prickling at his use of the word. She resented the accusation that leaving was somehow abandoning Libby. She still had remnants of guilt over her vacation. "Libby would understand that you have work to do. She understands how your job works. Hell, she even helped to arrange this tour! If she could hear you right now she’d chew you out for even suggesting not going!”

"Would she?" Justin challenged. "You don't think she'd be even a little upset to wake up and find that we'd all gone? That she’s all alone, and will be for several months?”

"She won't be all alone. I'll be here."

Justin’s jaw clenched again, and he fought back the words he wanted to say. Which is what you’ve wanted the whole time, he thought bitterly. "And I'll be four thousand miles away. Yeah, no thanks."

“But you’ll have to leave her sometime,” Clare reasoned. “I mean, even if you don't go on the tour—which I still think is a very bad idea—you'll still have to leave her at some point. You could be at home asleep when she wakes up, or at the golf course.”

"At least I'll be close. At least I'll be in the same state, the same country. Not halfway across the globe."

Clare let out another deep sigh, realising that the conversation was going nowhere fast. She’d have to call Chris or Lance at some point to warn them that Justin was planning on deserting the tour. There was no way that she could keep this kind of information to herself. The group would need someone much more persuasive than she to talk him out of it. Maybe even someone from the record label.

An awkward silence ensued and Clare turned away to glower out of the window. She needed a minute to get herself together. The very thought of the tour sent her blood pressure rocketing without the added worry of whether Justin would or wouldn’t attend. Just wait till Jamie and the others found out about his plans, she thought. Jamie would be thrilled to hear that all her hard work would have been in vain for the second time running. Not.

Justin reached out and took Libby’s hand in his own as he crossed one leg over his knee and let his gaze linger on her face. She was so damn peaceful that it almost hurt to look at her. She had no idea the turmoil that she was causing. 

"I just can't leave her..." he mumbled after a moment, his voice barely audible over the clicks and whirs of the machines surrounding Libby’s bed.

Clare turned back around to face him. “What?”

"I can’t leave her like this. I can’t let this be the last time…” his voice trailed off, and he swallowed loudly as his eyes filled with tears. Clare, too, felt tears forming at the look on his face. He really was a broken man, and it physically hurt her to see him like this.

Pushing her anger and worry to the back of her mind, Clare stood and made her way over to where he was sitting. She'd never been particularly touchy–feely with Justin, but she gently placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. It seemed the most appropriate thing to do in that moment.

"The last time?” Clare repeated gently.

Justin's head bowed, and he allowed himself a minute of wallowing in the pain of the thoughts that had been tormenting him since the day of Libby's accident. His whole body shook as the sobs threatened to consume him.

“I… I can’t let this be the last time I see her. I can’t leave her all alone… make her be here by herself if she…”

Clare swallowed and bit down hard on her tongue, willing herself not to cry. She knew what he was struggling to say as she, too, had been tormented by the same thought day and night.

“If she were to… go. I can’t handle the thought of her being all alone...” he said, struggling to find the right words. Even admitting them out loud seemed so wrong, like he was tempting fate somehow, and yet it was almost a sort of relief to get them off his chest. It was such a strange form of therapy that he almost felt better afterwards—but only for a moment. The feelings of pain and guilt were overwhelming, threatening to swallow him up the minute he gave in to his fears.

Justin squeezed Libby's hand tighter as he tried to get a grip on his emotions. He was crying so much lately and he hated it. He wanted to punch himself in the face for being such a wuss. Even his own mother was beginning to lose patience with his emotional highs and lows. It was exhausting to be around him he knew, but there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t even have the right words to try to explain his feelings.

As he squeezed Libby's hand tightly once again, Justin felt a miniscule twinge of movement in the palm of his hand and he immediately loosened his grip before muttering an automatic apology. At once his eyes snapped to Libby's face and his heart began thumping away at one–thousand miles an hour.

“She squeezed my hand!" he exclaimed suddenly. He gave Libby’s hand another squeeze in the hopes that it might bring a repeat of what he could barely believe he'd felt.

"What?" Clare asked, confused.

"Libby. She just squeezed my hand, I swear to God!"

"What? Is she doing it now?" Clare asked, her eyes snapping to Libby’s face. She leaned forward and stared intensely at her friend’s face.

Justin waited but felt nothing. "No."

“Are you sure you didn’t imagine it?" Clare asked tentatively.

Justin continued to watch Libby’s face carefully and ignored Clare’s question. He knew what he’d felt, even if Clare didn’t believe him. He was convinced that he'd felt something. "She moved. I'm certain of it."

Clare eyed him suspiciously, unsure whether he was imagining things or if he’d lost the plot. Given the stress that he'd been under lately, either one could have been a valid option.

"Justin, maybe you should go and get a coffee or something? You know, take a few minutes to clear your hea—"

"There! She did it again!" Justin exclaimed suddenly, his face brightening with joy. "I swear she's squeezing my hand. I'm barely feeling it, but it's there!"

Clare stared down at Libby’s face, willing Justin to be right. To her Libby seemed to be as motionless as she had been a minute or two before, but there was always a chance that she could be wrong. The hospital staff had told them to look out for signs of Libby regaining consciousness, and movement in her limbs was certainly a sign of this.

"Libby? Libby can you hear us?" Clare asked, and it was a few seconds before she realised that she was holding her breath. The anticipation of the moment was killing her. Could it be that her friend was finally returning? Had the day finally arrived?

Clare headed around to the other side of Libby's bed and carefully reached into the sling that was supporting her friend’s broken arm. "I don't feel anything," she told Justin after holding Libby’s hand for a few minutes. "Libs, honey? Can you hear me?"

Clare looked over at Justin as the feelings of disappointment began to wash over her. She knew that she should’ve known better than to get her hopes up, but it had been so easy to feed off of Justin's enthusiasm. He might’ve thought that he'd felt something, but Clare wasn't convinced that it wasn’t just his imagination running away with him. Who could have blamed him after all?

"Maybe I should go and fetch a nurse?" Clare suggested as she released Libby's hand and took a step back. "Maybe they could check the machines or something? See if there's been a change in her vitals?"

Justin nodded, but didn't draw his eyes away from Libby's face as Clare left the room in silence. He didn't really care if she believed him or not—he knew what he'd felt. Even if Clare wasn't convinced, he wasn't going to doubt his instincts; they’d never been wrong before.

"Libby… baby, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes for me?" he asked in a pleading, hopeful voice. "You just need to open your eyes and you'll be back with us, honey. Please just open your eyes."

As he watched her face, Justin was sure that he saw Libby's mouth move infinitesimally and his heart jumped up into his throat. "Libby, I'm right here. You can open your eyes and look at me. Please, baby, look at me."

"Mmm… mmm..." Libby murmured and Justin squeezed her hand tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. The machines surrounding the bed burst into a chorus of bleeps and warning sirens, but he was oblivious. He was focused completely on the woman lying in front of him.

"Libby?"

Within seconds the door burst open and two nurses bustled inside closely followed by a very pale and stunned looking Clare. Justin met her eyes for only a second and Clare saw the unbridled joy plastered across his shocked face. He'd been right after all. Clare could hardly dare to believe it.

The nurses kindly asked Justin to let them assess Libby properly, and he reluctantly slid off the bed and took a step back to allow them room to work.

"Libby?" The first nurse—who Clare recognised as the head–nurse of the ward—hovered over Libby's bed, calling her name and squeezing her hand, much like Justin had been doing. The second nurse began to attend to the machines, checking their readings and silencing the loud bleeps and sirens.

"Libby,” the head–nurse said in a soothing voice, “you're in the hospital. You’ve had an accident but you are safe now. Your friends are here with you. Can you open your eyes for me?"

"Mmm... mmm," Libby mumbled again before suddenly raising her good arm and grasping at the tube in her throat. The abrupt, aggressive movement surprised Clare, who had become so used to Libby being still for so long that the action sucked the breath out of her. Fortunately, the head–nurse had good reflexes, and she dodged out of the way before she was hit in the face by the back of Libby’s hand. Calmly she reached out and placed Libby's arm back by her side.

Clare looked on in horror as Libby began to moan aloud, rocking from side to side as though she was finally feeling the full extent of the pain of her injuries. The nurses struggled, but finally they managed to keep Libby still on the bed, offering her words of comfort and encouragement as they restrained her.

Justin's face was ghostly white, his cheeks wet with tears as he watched the nurses struggle to keep Libby calm. He hadn't expected her return to consciousness to be so violent, and it scared him to see her that way. He felt helpless and at a loss of what to do so he just continued to stare slack jawed at the scene in front of him.

Once Libby was still, the head–nurse resumed her efforts to get Libby to open her eyes. Both Clare and Justin watched with bated breath as the nurses talked to Libby for another minute or so before exchanging a glance.

"She's gone back to sleep,” the head–nurse explained as they took a step away from the bed.

"What?" Justin gasped, his eyes wide and desperate.

"It's perfectly normal," the second nurse assured him with a kind smile when she noticed the panic on his face. "Waking from a coma is a very gradual process. Libby's mind and body will be completely exhausted just from those few moments. We mustn't rush her."

"So what do we do?" Clare asked.

Wait, was the simple reply. There was nothing else to do but allow Libby to come round in her own time—however long that might be.

“We should probably call her mom," Clare said, her voice trembling with shock as she met Justin’s eyes. “She will want to be here.”

Justin nodded, but he barely seemed to have a grip on what was happening. Gone back to sleep? But she was just about to wake up! She was so close…

Realising that he was far too shocked to engage in any form of conversation, Clare swallowed and forced herself to leave the room to call Catherine. If Justin couldn’t do it then she would have to. She just hoped that she could find a way to put into words what had just happened.

~~~~~*~~~~~

About an hour or so later, Libby once again began grasping at her breathing tube. After a brief discussion the nurses considered it safe to unhook her completely from the ventilator, and Clare, Justin and Catherine—who had rushed over from the hotel she’d been staying at—held their breaths and squeezed each other's hands tightly as Libby took her first unassisted breath for the first time in nearly six weeks. It was a pretty epic moment.

Not too long after, Libby's mumbling started to become more coherent, and with tears streaming down her face, Clare was able to meet her friend's eyes for the first time since she'd said goodbye to her at the Compound on that fateful afternoon.

"Libs...” Clare sobbed as Libby's eyes flicked between their faces, her brow creasing in confusion as she tried to comprehend what was happening to her. She was so groggy, and she’d dreamed this moment so many times that it was easy to think that she was still dreaming. The only difference was the pain. The ache in her head was almost unbearable…

"Libby?" The head–nurse called to her, and Libby tried to focus her eyes on the nurse’s face even as her eyelids began to droop with exhaustion. "You are in the hospital, Libby. You've had an accident, and you were bought here for treatment. Do you remember?"

Libby stared at the nurse’s face, but made no effort to speak or react to her words. She could barely make out the person's face—whoever they were—let alone what they were attempting to mouth at her. She had no idea what was going on, but it was unsettling having so many bodies gathered around her bedside. She didn’t like this dream, and hoped that it’d soon be over.

"Libby?" The nurse tried again. "Can you understand me, Libby? Don't be afraid. You've been asleep for quite a while. It's okay if you feel tired. I just need you to squeeze my hand if you can hear me, okay?"

The nurse reached out to touch Libby's hand and Libby's eyes followed the movement until she once again closed her eyes with exhaustion and was still for several minutes.

"Are you sure she’s okay?" Clare asked in a shaky voice. "She doesn't seem to be understanding what's going on…" Clare's question hung in the air for a moment while the nurse finished her checks on Libby’s monitors in silence. Justin and Catherine exchanged a worried glance as Clare waited for a reply.

Eventually the nurse turned around and gave them all a tense smile. "She's following the usual signs of someone coming out of a coma,” she said. “But now is the time when we'll discover how severe an effect the accident has taken on Libby."

"Mhhmmnn... mmm," Libby moaned again, and when she opened her eyes she did her best to direct her gaze at Clare. Libby held eye contact for several seconds before tentatively lifting her hand and holding it out towards Clare. The effort of the movement caused Libby’s whole arm to shudder.

"Lib!" Clare exclaimed as she rushed forward and with tears streaming down her cheeks took Libby's hand in her own. It was such a surreal feeling after having become so accustomed to Libby being so still to see her friend moving once again. As soon as she felt Clare take her hand, the beginnings of a smile crept across Libby's face, and both Catherine and Justin released their held breaths in simultaneous, loud gasps.

The sound caught Libby's attention, and she slowly turned her head to look first at her mother, and then—finally—at Justin. The first moment of eye–contact between them became seared in Justin's brain, and he knew that it would be a moment that he would never, ever forget.

The room was silent as Libby slowly began to absorb the fact that she was actually able to look at her friends for the first time in what seemed to her an eternity. The emotion of finally being free of the black void, and able to communicate once again flooded her eyes with tears and she bowed her head as the reality of her situation sunk in.

She was back.

"Honey, honey, it’s okay. We're here," Catherine soothed as she stepped forward to gently wrap her arms around Libby's fragile, shaking body.

"Oh, my baby girl," Catherine whispered as she gently rocked her daughter from side to side as Libby nestled into her embrace. Tears streamed down both women’s cheeks. "Oh, my darling girl, you've come back to us."

Clare risked a glimpse at Justin, and was surprised to find that he’d moved from his position by Libby's side and was nowhere to be seen. Clare eventually found him standing directly behind her, almost at the door. His eyes were fixed on Libby's face, but his shoulders were hunched as though he were trying to make himself invisible—if that were even possible with his six foot one inch frame.

"Justin?" Clare whispered and his head snapped around at the sound. It was at that moment that she realised that he was crying, and his whole body was shaking—particularly his hands—as he tried to comprehend the fact that Libby was finally awake.

Realising that words were unnecessary, Clare held out her arms to him and gave him an understanding smile as his chin began to tremble. Justin stumbled the two or three paces towards her, and Clare instinctively reached up on tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck.

"She's back," she whispered into his ear. "She's finally back."

"I can't believe it," Justin replied, his voice choked with tears.

"Mmmh..." Libby mumbled and both their heads shot around to look at her.

Libby reached a trembling hand up to her throat before turning to the nurse and frowning in confusion. Even though she still hadn't said a word, the nurse seemed to understand exactly what she was trying to say. They seemed to have anticipated it, even.

"You've had a tracheostomy, sweetheart," the nurse explained. "There's a tube in your throat that was used to help you breathe. It may be difficult for you to speak for a little while."

Libby gave a small nod of comprehension before giving Justin a small, tentative smile. It was closely followed by a very large yawn.

Clare smiled up at Justin, knowing how much that small gesture would mean to him, and she found him staring at Libby with a look of helpless devotion. She reached out to squeeze his hand reassuringly as she felt a lump form in her throat. As Clare had thought earlier, there was no way that Libby and Justin would be able to carry on as just friends after this. He wasn't even trying to conceal his feelings any more, they were written as plain as day all over his face.

As Libby's eyelids once again began to droop, and she fell back into another deep sleep, Clare suggested to Catherine that she and Justin go to call the others and let them know the good news. This would give Catherine some much needed time alone with Libby, which Clare could tell the older woman was far too polite to request.

Although neither of them wanted to leave, Clare understood how hard it must be for Catherine to have such an emotional and personal reunion with her daughter in the presence of company. Clare had reminded herself that once Libby regained her strength and health that she would be able to spend every day with her, whereas Catherine only had a limited time before she had to return to the UK. It wasn’t the right time to be selfish.

~~~~~*~~~~~

*continue onto part 2!*

~~~~~*~~~~~

Naturally everyone had been over the moon to hear about Libby's progress.

After several more hours she was able to sit upright—providing that she was supported by her pillows—and although she seemed to flow between moments of full comprehension and absent minded deliriousness, Libby slowly began to show signs of what the nurses called 'purposeful movement and attempts to speak'. Plainly speaking, she'd overcome all the odds against her and had fought her way back to consciousness.

Whilst all of this was happening, Justin seemed to veer between moments of euphoria and fear that Libby was going to slip back into her coma once again. It didn't matter how reassuring the nurses and doctors were, he still felt as though he was holding his breath just in case Libby suddenly began to deteriorate.

Although she wasn't yet able to speak, the nurses continued to ask Libby whether she had any recollections of her accident. She seemed to understand the question, and had nodded in agreement that she had. According to the doctors, there had been a chance that Libby might have woken with partial or full amnesia, and so everyone had been very relieved to find that her memory seemed unscathed.

Libby had felt very confused and upset to find herself in the hospital. Especially when she’d found out that she'd been in a coma for six weeks. The nurses had broken the news to her gently, and explained that she'd suffered from a brain trauma as well as some other less serious injuries.

As it happened, Libby hadn't noticed her broken arm until the nurses had told her that she could have the sling and cast removed now that she was conscious and no longer connected to the ventilator. She’d cried when she'd seen her arm wrapped in plaster, and had been unable to stop for some time as her shock and fear found itself an outlet. Clare had been confused as to why Libby was able to have her cast off so suddenly, but then she’d remembered that Libby had been in a coma for the same amount of time that it usually took for a fracture to heal sufficiently. It was a sobering thought.

As the hours passed, Libby became more aware of her surroundings, and she even started to try to ask Clare and Justin questions. However she tired quickly, and was still unable to form coherent words.

Feeling concerned, Justin had asked the nurses for advice, but they had told him exactly what he already knew—that the tracheostomy had affected Libby's throat, and her ability to speak. The only thing they were able to assure him was that there seemed to be no permanent damage to the areas of Libby's brain that controlled her ability to form words. It seemed that she'd been very lucky indeed.

A few hours after, it was decided that Libby could safely be removed her from all the machines that had been supporting her—barring a few essential ones that were still monitoring her brain waves and heart rate. Only her catheter was left connected as her body was still so weak that it would be impossible for her to make her way to the bathroom by herself. Everyone agreed that it was best not to put her body through too much on the very first day.

Libby quickly became impatient and frustrated with her inability to speak. She'd waited nearly six weeks for the chance to see her friends again, and it upset her that she wasn't able to say the things that she needed to say to them.

It was Clare who came up with a solution, and she'd quickly excused herself to go and buy a notepad and pen from the hospital gift shop. As Catherine had also gone to call Libby's father and brothers back home, Libby was left alone with Justin for the first time.

Now that he was finally alone with her, Justin found himself unsure and uneasy about what to say or do. Part of him wanted to spill out all of his feelings and the turmoil that he'd been through whilst waiting for her to recover, but he knew that Libby would be unable to absorb it all in her fragile and emotional state. Instead he hovered at the bottom of the bed, and tried not to stare at her as she watched him with wide, frightened eyes.

"Gid' bought in your picture," he said eventually after several minutes of silence, and he gestured awkwardly at the photo by Libby's bedside. Libby slowly turned her head to look at the photo before turning back and smiling weakly.

Really, Justin? he chided himself mentally as he scuffed the toe of his sneaker on the linoleum floor. You've waited six weeks to talk to her, and that's what you come up with?

Justin glanced around the room, hoping to find a trigger to start a conversation. He'd never felt so uncomfortable around Libby before, and he didn't want to dwell on the fact that he'd found it easier to be natural and relaxed with her when she'd been unconscious. He didn't even want to go there.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak again, Libby reached her hand out, and with effort knocked her knuckles against her metal bed frame to catch his attention. Justin turned to her quickly, and realised that she was trying to mouth something at him. He leaned forward and tried to follow the shapes she was making with her lips.

He’d never been particularly good at lip reading, and after two failed attempts, Justin read the frustration on Libby's face and was filled with feelings of remorse. As her eyes filled with tears he forgot all of his previous awkwardness and rushed forward to sit beside her, reaching out to encase her hand in his.

"I'm so sorry, Libs,” he said. “I don't understand what you're saying.”

Libby looked at him through watery eyes and let out a deep sigh. She dropped his hand and raised an index finger before pointing slowly at the Donald Duck plushie that was sitting beside the vase of flowers that her mother had placed on her bedside table. Justin followed her finger as it pointed at the plushie and then as it pointed at his chest.

"Donald Duck... for you... from me?" he said slowly as he tried to spell out her question action by action. A light bulb went off in his head. "Did I bring you in the duck?" he asked, chuckling in relief.

Libby nodded enthusiastically before raising her eyes skyward. Thank God...

Justin couldn't help but smile at the sight of her sarcastic wit beginning to return. He'd missed her teasing and poking fun at him. "Err... yeah. That was me."

Libby nodded and pointed slowly at the yellow comforter that had been carefully folded and draped across the bottom of her bed. This time Justin caught her meaning straight away.

"Yes, that was also me. You like yellow, right?"

Libby pointed to the posters above her head and then back at him.

"Um... yeah...” Justin said as a blush coloured his cheeks.

Libby let her hand drop to her side and let out a longer, sadder sigh. Justin watched as her chin began to tremble and she began to fight back tears. He felt himself choke up at the expression on her face, and he cleared his throat to help himself get a grip on his emotions. Stop crying, stop crying…

Tentatively Libby reached her hand out to him once again, and wiggled her fingers to wordlessly ask him to give her his hand. Justin obeyed silently, and once their fingers were entwined he felt his heart begin to hammer away in his chest. Feeling her hand once again in his was everything that he'd been waiting for and more.

Once Libby had a grip on his fingers she pulled as hard her weak body would let her, and looked at Justin with wide, searching eyes. Unable at this point to deny her anything, Justin leaned forward and allowed her to place a soft kiss at the side of his mouth.

It took everything that he had not to take her face in his hands and kiss her properly, but Justin knew that now wasn't the right time. He could feel the trembles in her body and realised how much effort it was taking her just to do that simple action. He didn’t want to tire her out, or worse, hurt her.

Libby was exhausted just by the emotion of realising what he'd done for her during her time in the hospital, and the simple act of giving him a kiss—something she'd laid there for weeks and wondered if she would ever be able to do again—reduced her to a sobbing mess.

"Lib... please... don't," Justin pleaded as he heard her begin to cry. He pulled away, and this time did cup her face between his hands. Libby looked at him with her sad green eyes as more tears flowed down her pale cheeks. "Please...”

Realising that she wasn't about to stop crying any time soon, Justin pulled her gently back into his arms and placed his cheek on the top of her head whilst uttering soothing sounds to try to comfort her. He hated to see her cry at the best of times, but under the circumstances it was even harder to watch. Words couldn't express how he was feeling, and so he simply let his body do the talking and held her tight.

Libby squeezed her eyes shut and revelled in the feel of his arms around her. At last she'd found a way back into his arms, and she hoped that she would never again have to endure such a painful separation from him.

Naturally it was at this moment that Clare burst back into the room, before freezing abruptly when she saw Justin and Libby hugging. Realising that she might be interrupting something important, Clare quickly backtracked and tried to silently leave the room before either of them noticed her.

She didn't get far. Libby heard the sound of the door opening and lifted her head to peep around Justin just as Clare prepared to turn away. Justin felt Libby reach a hand past his side and he glanced over his shoulder at Clare just as she was about to leave.

"I can come back...” Clare said sheepishly as she met both Libby and Justin's eyes. Justin wasn’t thrilled about it, but he reluctantly removed his arms from around Libby and climbed off the bed.

"No, it's fine," he muttered, but his voice was far from convincing. As he spoke Libby stretched out her arm to Clare and pointed at the notepad that she was holding in her hands. She nodded enthusiastically as Clare crossed the room and held it out to her.

Sensing Justin slinking away from her as Clare approached, Libby whipped out her hand and grasped at his hoodie sleeve, preventing him from going any further. Justin turned around and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

No, Libby mouthed at him and pointed forcefully at the visitor's chair by her side. Clare couldn't help but grin as she recognised signs of Libby's stubbornness returning. Already it was beginning to feel as though she'd never been gone, even though the memories were still so fresh and raw.

Justin pulled a face. "I dunno, Libs. You're really only meant to have one visitor at a time..."

Libby pointed once again at the chair and raised an eyebrow, challenging him. Although she could tell that he was trying not to, Justin flashed her a crooked grin and obediently sat in the chair. He rolled his eyes and let out a petulant sigh as though he hated being told what to do. Clare could tell that he was only playing, and she smiled fondly at the sudden brightness that had appeared in his eyes. Clare could tell that it was all down to Libby.

Once she was sure that Justin wasn't going to go anywhere, Libby once again reached eagerly for the notepad in Clare’s hands. Clare handed it to her with a smile and watched as Libby went about scribbling something onto the empty page as fast as her trembling hand would allow her.

Once she’d finished writing, Clare peered over the top of the pad and sucked in a shocked breath as she saw Libby's illegible writing for the first time. She tried to keep her face composed as best she could so that she wouldn't upset her, but what Clare had seen had alarmed her.

Libby stared at the page for a moment before a confused frown crossed her face. In a panic she held the pad up to Justin and showed him what she'd written. Where the words were meant to be were scribbles, random numbers and upside down letters. It didn't make any sense at all, and it was an indication that despite her almost miraculous recovery, Libby’s brain still had a way to go before it was completely healed.

Justin also tried to compose his face, although he quickly glanced at Clare to gauge her reaction. Clare shrugged helplessly back at him and wondered if her plan had been a little too optimistic.

Hearing her let out another sigh, Justin turned his eyes back to Libby and found her holding her hand out to him once again. He got up from his seat and leant over the bed, but Libby wasn't satisfied with that. She shuffled across to make a space beside her and patted the mattress before raising her eyebrows at him pointedly. The instruction was clear. She wanted him to sit beside her.

"I don't know, Lib...” Justin said hesitantly as he shot a glance over at Clare. "I've already been told off once or twice for sitting on your bed. We're really not supposed to..."

Libby ignored him and reached out to grip the waist of his hoodie. She pulled on the fabric causing Justin to wobble slightly on his feet. It was clear that Libby's strength was slowly returning to her, even though Justin’s loss of balance probably had more to do with him stumbling over his feet than anything else.

"I'd forgotten how stubborn you are, Lib," Clare chuckled as Justin reluctantly hopped up onto the bed beside Libby. Inside his heart was pounding and he couldn't shake off the happy grin that was plastered across his face.

Justin could hardly believe the way that Libby seemed to want him as close to her as possible, but he wasn't going to knock it. After six weeks of waiting for her to wake up he wanted to be as close to her as possible, and he certainly wasn't going to argue with her. Although he hadn't wanted to get his hopes up too much, Justin couldn't help but think that maybe— maybe—Libby might have feelings for him after all.

He sat awkwardly beside her on the bed, but still Libby wasn't satisfied. She shuffled towards him and leaned her body into his until he was supporting her and keeping her upright. Once she was comfortable, Libby let out a sigh which once again sent Justin's heart racing. He flashed Clare a look of euphoric delight which Clare couldn't help but snigger at. His facade was completely blown. There was no way that Libby wouldn't be able to guess his feelings for her. He was like a defenceless puppy dog staring at its owner with a look of devotion.

Taking up the notepad once again, Libby handed it to Justin, and he held it out in front of her so that she could write more easily. Slowly she lifted the pen once again, but this time she drew rather than wrote what she was trying to say. It took a little more time, but neither Clare nor Justin minded her taking her time. They still couldn’t believe that she was conscious.

Libby first drew a big arrow that pointed towards where Clare was standing at the bottom of the bed, and quickly followed it with a question mark. Justin waited until Libby had finished drawing before holding the pad up so that Clare could see.

"How are you?" he asked, and Libby nodded encouragingly at Clare.

Clare smiled fondly at her friend and moved to go and sit in the now vacant visitor's seat. Justin and Libby both followed her with their eyes.

"Much better now that you're back with us," Clare replied honestly as the tears once again pricked at the back of her eyes. She fluttered her eyelashes to blink them away, and attempted a brave smile. Clare still hated thinking about herself and how she was feeling. Every time she did, JC's face popped up in her mind and she'd have to swallow back the lump in her throat.

Satisfied with Clare's answer, Libby raised the pen once again and Justin held the notepad out for her to write.

Libby drew five stick men and placed an initial under each one until she'd carefully spelled out the word 'NSYNC'. On one of the stick men Libby drew some long flowing hair, which Justin realised was meant to be dreadlocks and he laughed as he recognised Chris.

Justin held the notepad up to Clare once again, and Libby steered his hand so that he pointed at each stick man in turn. Her fingers lingered on Justin’s warm skin, but she looked at Clare as she awaited her answers.

"Justin can tell you his own news, obviously," Clare said with a smile and she watched as Libby turned her head to meet Justin's eyes before grinning up at him. Neither of them could hide the glimmer in their eyes as they looked at each other, and Clare almost wanted to get up and bang their heads together. It was so obvious to everyone else that they were in love with each other, and yet neither of them seemed to be doing anything about it. Clare made a mental note to talk to Justin about it later.

"Chris?" Clare asked as Libby moved Justin's hand over to the stick man with dreadlocks. "He and Jamie are dating officially now. It's kinda strange to get used to, but they seem to be really happy together. They're a surprisingly good match, actually."

Next Justin pointed at the stick man with the giant 'S' on his chest.

"Joey is the same 'ol Joey. Lisa still hasn't answered his proposal, but it doesn't seem to be bothering Joey..." Clare trailed off, realising that she shouldn't probably be talking about Joey like that in front of Justin.

Justin shrugged and grinned as he met her eyes. Clearly he felt the same way she did.

"Lisa's been feeling unwell lately," Clare continued. "She's had some tests done at the hospital but they haven't been able to find what’s wrong."

Libby frowned in concern before moving Justin's hand to the next drawing.

"Lance and Jenny are finally dating now, thanks to you," Clare said with a laugh. There'd been a time when Clare had thought that Lance would never get his act together and ask Jenny out, but it had turned out that she'd been wrong after all. It was happening a lot lately.

Libby let out a muffled snigger and pointed to herself with a frown.

"Yeah, it's your fault," Justin agreed as he nudged Libby. "Lance finally worked up the courage to ask her out because he realised that life was short and Jenny probably wouldn't wait forever."

Libby turned her head and looked deeply into his eyes as he spoke. She listened intently before letting her gaze linger momentarily on his lips. When he'd finished, Libby gave him a sweet smile that set his heart pounding and his legs to jelly.

Clare watched the exchange between the pair of them and tried not to feel melancholy. Ever since her fall out with JC, Clare couldn't bear to be around lovey–dovey couples. Seeing people so happy and in love only made her miss JC even more than she already did, and made her regret what had happened between them even more.

"Jenny's gone back home temporarily as her mother isn't well," Clare continued quietly and both Libby and Justin's heads snapped back around to face her. Clare tried not to smirk at their identical expressions. They'd clearly both been so caught up in each other that they'd completely forgotten that Clare was even there.

Justin sniggered. "You should see how miserable he is," he told Libby. "He's like a dog without a bone."

You can talk, Clare thought to herself with a giggle.

Finally, Libby steered Justin's finger to the last stick man, and she looked directly at Clare and gave her an encouraging wink. At once Clare's face fell, and she looked down at the floor, trying to regain her composure so as not to frighten Libby.

The last Libby would have remembered was that night on the beach when the group had all been together having fun splashing in the surf. Naturally, she'd have no idea of what had gone down since then, and Clare felt sorry for her for it. Libby had missed so much, and it would be a huge shock to her when she discovered all that had happened since that night.

"JC?" Justin said aloud as he glanced sheepishly at Clare. Libby noticed this and frowned at him, wordlessly demanding an explanation.

"Perhaps now isn't the time..." Justin suggested quietly. Clare glanced up and thanked him with her eyes.

Justin was right. Now wasn't the time, and Clare was grateful that he seemed to understand. Today was a day to celebrate Libby's recovery, and not to dwell on sad memories. She'd break the news gently to Libby on another day. For now, she'd simply enjoy having her best friend back with them where she belonged.

~~~~~*~~~~~

The hours seemed to pass like minutes, and soon visiting hours were over for the day. Although neither of them felt ready to go, the hospital staff politely reminded Clare and Justin that it was time to leave so that Libby could get some rest.

However, no one was prepared for Libby's reaction.

"Mmmnn... nnnooo," she gasped hoarsely as she struggled against the numb and dry feeling in her throat. Her eyes shot between Justin and Clare's faces as she desperately tried to get them to stay. Naively she'd thought that they'd be able to stay with her as long as she wanted, and even though she felt the weight of sleep pressing on her eyes, she still didn't want to be left alone. She'd had enough of being solitary to last her a lifetime. The thought alone filled her with panic.

Clare glanced at the tortured expression on Justin's face as he gathered his coat, and she realised that she'd have to be the strong one to ensure that they followed the nurses' instructions. There was no way that Justin would simply be able to walk away if Libby was so upset about him leaving, but neither did Clare want to get in trouble with the hospital staff. They'd done so much, and she was so grateful to them.

"Mmmn...nooo," Libby moaned once again and reached out a trembling arm to snatch at Clare's hands and Justin's coat as they hovered by her bedside preparing their goodbyes. She missed getting contact with either, and her hands grasped at the air as she struggled to reach something that she could hold onto to prevent them from leaving.

The nurse—who had initially only popped her head around the door to check that they were leaving—came forward and reached out to click a few buttons on Libby's drip, increasing the flow of painkillers into her bloodstream.

"It's okay," she said reassuringly as she turned to face Clare and Justin. "She's not in pain. Sometimes head injuries can trigger extreme responses in a patient. I promise you that once you've gone she'll go right to sleep."

Clare nodded but felt extremely torn as she watched Libby struggling in the bed, her desperate eyes filling with tears as she glanced from Justin's face to hers and back again. It was painful to watch, and Clare knew that once she was home these images would play on her mind during the night.

It had been a pretty emotional day, and Clare was mentally as well as physically exhausted. Life had once again flipped 360° in only a matter of a few hours, and she realised that it would take time to adjust to these changes. Clare had become so used to Libby being in a coma that she realised that she hadn't even thought about how it would be if Libby were to regain consciousness. It didn't seem to matter. All that was important was that Libby was back, and Clare knew that she'd be forever grateful.

"She doesn't want us to go," Justin said suddenly, and he took a determined step towards the bed. Libby nodded and smiled encouragingly at him, her face flooding with relief, but Clare was quick to reach out a hand and haul him back by his shoulder.

"You heard the nurse, Justin," Clare told him firmly. "Libby needs to get some sleep. We can come back first thing in the morning."

Clare turned to Libby and saw a fleeting look of hurt in her eyes. Clare knew that Libby wouldn't understand why she was submitting so easily to the nurse's instructions—Clare wasn't always so willing to comply with rules, especially when she didn't agree with them—but she was trying to do what was best for Libby, even if it went against her own wishes to be with her friend.

"We'll come back in the morning," Clare assured her and flashed her a winning smile. "I promise. You get some sleep and we'll see you first thing, okay?"

Libby gave a small nod and glanced at Justin.

"We'll be back," he repeated, his voice thick with emotion. "Sleep well, sweetie. We'll see you tomorrow."

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Justin sat in Libby's hospital room a few days later, watching the Orlando Magic’s play on the small TV attached to the wall. He had his sneakers off and was resting his feet on the edge of the bed as he slouched in the visitor's chair.

Libby was asleep, and had been for most of the morning, but Justin had become used to this during his visits. For him just being able to be there with her was enough, and anything else on top was a bonus. Libby had been through a lot just by regaining consciousness, and the doctors had warned her—and him—that she needed to take it easy and not push herself too much.

At first, Libby had fought against her body's wishes to sleep, and she'd struggled through drooping lids to keep her eyes open at all costs. However she'd soon realised that every time she came round after resting she was more alert and able to communicate easier, which had helped her take the pressure off herself and allow her body to rest when she felt she needed to.

Just being awake for more than twenty minutes straight was incredibly tiring, and Libby was still in lots of pain, but even she could see that she was making progress. Her voice—which was slow and slurred when she spoke—was gradually coming back to her, although it was still hardly more than a whisper at times. She could read and write, which the doctors had warned her she may have needed to re–learn, and her broken arm was now fully healed and useable. When she'd had her injuries explained to her by the medical team, Libby had realised just how lucky she really was to be alive.

As one of the players scored, Justin jumped forward in the chair and reached his arms out in front of him as he let out a silent roar of victory. He grinned and risked a glance at Libby, who seemed to have been disturbed by his movement and opened her eyes a slither.

"Sorry," Justin apologised sheepishly as he turned the TV volume down even lower with the remote. "Go back to sleep. I'll be quiet."

Libby shook her head and lifted herself up in the bed slightly so that she was no longer lying flat. She met his eyes and let out a loud yawn. "Winning?" she asked in a hoarse whisper as Justin reached forward to adjust her pillows to make sure that she was comfortable.

"It doesn't matter," he said as he flicked the off button on the remote and twisted his body around in the chair so that he was facing her. "Sleepy?"

Libby grimaced. "When aren't I?" she muttered and gave him a wry smile. "It's really annoying."

"It's gonna take time, Libs,” he said, nodding. “You've been… asleep for a while."

Libby fixed him with a no nonsense stare and narrowed her eyes. "I was in a coma," she corrected. "You can say the word. I won't get upset."

The smile fell instantly from Justin's face, and the sadness returned to his eyes. For some reason, Libby had no problem discussing her accident and its consequences far more bluntly than her friends. 

"Yeah, but I will," Justin said quietly as a vision of Libby's motionless and battered body popped into his mind. "I just can't..."

Libby saw the pain in his eyes and was filled with shame. Now that the shock of her coming out of the coma had started to wear off, Libby was catching glimpses of the effects that her accident had taken on her friends— especially her mother—and she was haunted by almost constant feelings of guilt and shame. Why had she been so reckless as to have risked her life so casually? What had she been thinking? Had her exams really been so important to her that she'd forgotten all about her friends' and family's feelings? It pained her to see them now all so raw and upset, and she realised that she had no one else to blame for that than herself and her thoughtless actions.

"I'm sorry..." Libby said as she reached out a hand to him. She hoped that her words would be comforting, but they did nothing to erase the pain on Justin's face. "I'm back now.”

"But you were gone so long, Lib," Justin said as he reached forward to take her hand in his. He was no longer be afraid of touching her, and although it surprised Libby how often he seemed to need physical contact, she was glad that his initial awkwardness had passed.

All the time that he'd been hovering near the end of the bed, seemingly unsure of what to do or say, Libby had felt sick inside. Since regaining consciousness, Libby had been terrified that Justin would be different around her; that their friendship might’ve been affected by her accident. His standoffish behaviour had made her fear the worst. Was he angry with her? In the time that she'd been unconscious had he found someone else? Had she driven a wedge between them? Would they be able to go back to the way things had been? Would he be able to forget the image of seeing her unconscious in a hospital bed?

"I was so scared that we were going to lose you," Justin said as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He stared into her eyes, hoping that she understood what he was really trying to say. Libby nodded sadly and dropped her eyes to the bedcovers. She couldn't maintain eye contact with him when he looked so sad. It was like a stab in the heart every time she looked into his eyes. She'd done this to him. She was responsible for his unhappiness, and the tears in his eyes. She was the one who'd nearly parted them forever, and just when they'd been getting so close...

"I heard—" Libby muttered before screwing her face up and grimacing in pain. Justin shuffled forward in his chair and squeezed her hand tightly, his eyes widening with concern, but Libby pointed at the tube in her throat as way of explanation. She let out a little cough, swallowed and started again. "I heard you and Clare fighting. You sound like brother and sister sometimes."

Justin looked surprised for a moment and then burst into raucous laughter. His emotions were so out of control at the moment that he couldn't do anything by halves. He was either sunk in a tearful depression or inappropriately loud and raucous.

At the sound of his laughter, Libby couldn't help but grin. She'd missed that sound. She'd missed his smile. She'd missed him.

"You're bad," Libby chuckled, and this time when she met his eyes she noticed that the sadness had gone. Temporarily, at least.

She casually glanced down at the hoodie top that she was still dressed in and then back up at Justin, a very obvious twinkle in her eyes. The nurses had promised her that once she was stronger she would be able to leave her bed for a few minutes to freshen up and change her clothes, but Libby was still so weak that it'd been decided to wait a few more days.

"Yours," she said matter–of–factly and smirked as a slight blush appeared on Justin's cheeks.

"Err... yeah,” he mumbled before clearing his throat. “Clare wasn't too happy about that...”

"I have my own clothes," Libby said as she pointed to the small suitcase beside her bed that Clare had bought in from home. Clare had already told Libby during her visit the day before that Justin had refused to let her swap the hoodie that she was wearing for something else. They'd both found it funny how defensive he’d become when Clare had pressed him on it. Although she'd laughed about it at the time, when alone that night, Libby’s mind had wandered over the conversations she'd had that day. She couldn't help but feel choked by the thought of Justin taking such an involved role in her day–to–day care.

"I know... I just..." Justin glanced away at the window, and took a minute to gather his thoughts before he continued. When he spoke his words came out in a muddled rush. "I didn't want you to feel alone. I knew that you were probably scared, and I wanted you to know that I was here for you. Even when I couldn't be here I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you."

Tears once again filled Libby's eyes, and she gave him a wobbly smile as they began to make tracks down her cheeks. She was crying a lot lately, and she hated it. Apparently it was completely normal for someone in her position, but Libby hated not having a rein on her emotions. It was so unlike her. She hated feeling weak, emotional and damaged, and already she wished that things could just go back to the way they'd been before the accident. She missed her old life.

Clare had gently told Libby that she'd been withdrawn from college after they'd been informed of her accident. Her fees for the semester had been refunded to her, and she'd been offered an unconditional space on the following year's course, if she wished to re–join.

Libby already knew that she wouldn't.

She no longer cared about getting her degree. Her perspective on life had changed so drastically, and she no longer wanted to spend her life with her head stuck in textbooks. There was so much more that she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

She wanted to see the world, and spend time with the people that she loved and cared about. She wanted to do all the things she'd spent the past six weeks dreaming of doing was she lucky enough to recover. She'd promised herself that never again would she let something take over her life in the way that her studies had, unless it brought happiness and peace.

So what if she might not advance in her job without her degree! Who cared? She had her life back, and she was determined not to become consumed by her career either. Work was only one part of her life. She also had her friends, hopefully she'd regain her health and strength too, and maybe she'd even be lucky enough to get the one thing she wanted above all…

"I think I knew," Libby whispered, attempting a smile even as her tears continued to fall. Justin leaned forward in his chair to hear her better. "...I think I knew that you were here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, kinda..." Libby said, unsure of how to put into words her thoughts and feelings. She wanted to say that she'd been aware of his presence. How she'd felt comforted when she'd heard his voice or felt him hold her hand. How hearing him introduce himself to her mother had made her heart swell with joy, and how she'd wished that she'd been able to see as well as hear them speak to each other.

She wanted to say that having him around her had helped her focus on getting better, and that although she'd often fallen into an abyss of panic, it had often been his face that had brought her clarity, and helped her swim out of the darkness. She wanted to say that although they'd always just been friends, she'd never realised how much more than friends they really were. And that when it came down to it, her feelings for him were so much more than friendship.

"I hope so," Justin said as he gave her hand another squeeze. "I really hope so, Libs."

Libby smiled, and bit down nervously on her tongue. Should she go further? Could she go further? Was this the right time to tell him how she felt, or should she wait until she was at least out of the hospital? Or at least able to go shower and wash her hair. No one had said anything, but she must have looked a mess. Now she thought about it, she didn’t really want the memory of the time she confessed her feelings to Justin to involve her wearing a grotty hoodie and not having brushed her teeth. It wasn’t the fairy–tale romantic moment she’d been dreaming of.

Libby met his eyes once again and noticed that he was grinning. Not his usual grin, but the smirk he usually had on his face when he found something amusing and was just about to burst out laughing.

Libby began to chuckle. “What?”

“Clare,” he explained before snorting with laughter just as Libby had predicted. “She hates me.”

Libby giggled but tried her best to sober up. “That’s not funny,” she said, even as the grin broadened on her face.

“It is,” Justin corrected, “she’s proper pissed at me. Thinks I’m too possessive over you.”

Libby continued to smile, but didn’t know what to say.

What could she say to something like that? Was he being possessive over her? Yes. Even she could sense the tension in the room when Clare and Justin were together, but was she unhappy about it? Not really. She secretly loved the fact that he was behaving like such a boyfriend around her. But she hoped that things wouldn’t continue being awkward between Clare and he long term. If Justin were ever to become more than just friends with her, Clare and he would have to sort out their differences.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I can't believe I'm leaving you," Catherine told her daughter that evening as she made her final visit to the hospital before catching her flight back to the UK. Catherine had used up all her leave from her job back home in the UK, and so she had little choice but to head home.

Now that Libby was out of the coma and showing signs of making a full recovery, Catherine knew that it was safe to leave her daughter in the care of the hospital staff and Libby’s friends. Catherine had promised Libby that she would return in a month or two to spend some time with her, and make sure that she was taking good care of herself. Libby had agreed to this, but knew deep down that when the time came to it she wouldn't need checking up on.

She'd learnt her lesson one hundred percent, and now had a new respect for the fragility of life. No more rock climbing or extreme sport of any kind, she promised her mother. And Libby knew that if she ever forgot, her friends certainly wouldn't. Already they'd begun to watch over her with an intensity that was beginning to get on her nerves, and Libby realised that it would be a long time before they stopped worrying.

As Clare stood waiting in the doorway, Christine and Libby said their goodbyes.

"When you're stronger I want you to come and visit us, you hear? Your brothers are desperate to see you again, and it's been so long since we've all been together. We'll have to have a family Christmas this year, okay?"

Libby nodded at her mother and held out her arms for a hug. Once held in Catherine's embrace, Libby opened her eyes and grimaced playfully at Clare over her mother's shoulder.

Clare giggled and nodded back in understanding. She knew that the idea of a family Christmas at home would fill Libby with horror, and she thought it funny how hard Libby was trying to keep this fact from her mother to spare her feelings.

"And no more horrible boyfriends!" Catherine said as she released her arms from around Libby so that she could look her daughter in the eyes as she spoke. "Find someone who will treat you nicely and look after you. Like that nice Justin boy."

Libby cringed with embarrassment as a blush came over her cheeks. Although she realised that her feelings for Justin were most likely out of the bag, Libby still wasn't comfortable discussing them. Especially as she still hadn't discussed them with Justin yet.

"Mom!" Libby complained as she ducked her head to hide her embarrassment. "Please stop."

Catherine chuckled and glanced over her shoulder at Clare. "Make sure you take care of my little girl, Clare," she said as she got up from her seat on Libby's bed and crossed the room to hug Clare goodbye.

"I promise," Clare told her, her voice sincere. She glanced over Catherine's shoulders at Libby and grinned. Libby gave her a sideways smirk back and rolled her eyes. Clare had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before Libby started telling everyone off for being over–protective, but Clare was determined to make the most of it while she could.

Turning back to face her daughter once again, Catherine reached out and blew her a kiss as her eyes clouded over with tears.

"I love you," she said and Libby made the shape of a heart with her fingers before holding it over her chest.

"I love you, too."

~~~~~*~~~~~

During Justin's next visit, Libby once again insisted that he sit on the bed beside her, even though Justin knew that the nurses would be annoyed if they saw him sitting anywhere other than in the allotted guest chair. Libby didn't seem to care. She wanted Justin as close to her as possible, and she wasn't about to let any silly hospital rules get in the way.

Once he was sitting closely beside her, Libby wrapped Justin's left arm around herself and snuggled comfortably into his chest. Justin chuckled at the bossy tone in her voice, but was completely submissive to her requests. If she wanted to be in his arms then he was not about to dissuade her any time soon.

After falling into a comfortable silence, Libby once again felt the familiar tug of drowsiness overwhelm her, and it wasn't long before her head was resting against Justin's shoulder. In just a few short minutes she was fast asleep.  

Justin, meanwhile, had sat watching her for a moment before deciding to flick on the TV. The hospital didn't have many channels, but he guessed that there would be at least one channel he could watch to kill time. Unfortunately, it was at this point that he realised that the TV remote was sitting halfway across the room by the hand washing station, and that there was no way he could fetch it without waking Libby.

Unable to move, Justin turned his attention back to Libby, and allowed himself a sneaky chance to watch her while she slept. In the past if she’d known that he was watching her so intently she would have yelled at him or playfully slapped him away, but she'd been different around him since coming out of the coma.

She seemed to want him around her more, and even complained when he sat too far away from her or left in the middle of his visit to go to fetch a drink. Not that he minded. Justin loved seeing and hearing her put into words how much she wanted and needed him. It was everything that he'd wished to hear for the almost two years that they'd known each other. He only wished that it was easier to tell her how he felt. Even after all they’d been through the minute he thought about discussing his feelings he was reduced to a trembling mess. He knew he needed to get his act together, but it was hard. It was Libby. His Libby. So much rested on her answer.

Although Justin realise, Libby was well aware that she'd lost a lot of precious time. In the grand scheme of things six weeks didn't seem a long time, but with the tour eminent it was crucial time that she might otherwise have spent with her friends—and more importantly, Justin. Although she hadn't said anything—and Justin hadn't mentioned it—Libby had done the maths in her head and worked out that he and the rest of the group would soon be leaving on tour for at least three months—if not longer, depending how things went. Libby would have to spend those months trying to adapt to her new life whilst missing nearly all of her friends. Even Lisa was making the trip with the group. It was a sobering thought for Libby.

Three months was a long time to be without someone—especially someone whom she had spent six weeks just hoping to see one last time. Libby didn't have the words—or the stamina—to express to Justin just how important he was to her, or how she’d come to realise that without his support and presence in her life she would have found it hard to find the will to break through the darkness and reclaim her life.

Justin got her. There was no other way to describe it.

He understood things about her that she had to explain to others. He knew exactly what to say to bring her out of a mood, or when she just needed to be left alone to clear her head. He knew when she needed a hug, even before she’d asked for one, and most importantly, he never judged her. It seemed that no matter what his feelings for her were unconditional, and Libby didn’t quite know how to take that.

She realised that their friendship was balancing on a knife edge; that it probably always had been. But the smoke had finally been cleared from her eyes. There was no more drama. No more obstacles. She loved him, and she thought that he probably loved her too.

Libby hoped that Justin would finally work it out on his own how much she really wanted to be with him. There really wasn't anything that she wanted more than to be with him. The minute he did, she wouldn't hesitate. She just hoped that it wouldn’t take him too long to figure it out.

Justin let out a deep sigh as he ran his eyes over every part of Libby’s face. Had it really been three days? Three days and he still hadn't told her how he felt? Hadn't he promised himself that the first thing he'd do when she woke was tell her that he loved her? What had happened to the plan?

He let out another long sigh. He really couldn’t keep letting the timing excuse get in the way.

Maybe I could wake her now and tell her?

He cleared his throat quietly, his eyes never leaving Libby’s face, and the sound caused her to stir slightly. At once Justin's heart jumped into his throat and his palms became clammy. Libby wriggled closer to his body and let out a sigh of her own before drifting back into sleep.

Maybe not… he thought as his courage deserted him. He needed time to think about it anyway, he assured himself. He couldn't just blurt out 'I love you' the moment she opened her eyes. He needed to be smooth. Romantic. She deserved that, at least. He'd work out what to say and then just say it, even if the timing was off. He’d work up the courage, and finally tell her how he felt. He owed it to both of them to at least tell her how he felt.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

"So what really happened with you and JC?" Libby asked Clare when she was finally strong enough to raise the conversation. Libby had put the pieces together and realised that something big had happened during her time in the coma. Since waking she still hadn't seen JC, although many of her other friends had visited, and this very fact had made her suspicious.

Up until now Clare had steered the conversation into lighter areas of discussion—their mutual friends, work, even casual mentions of the tour preparations, but Libby knew that Clare was keeping something from her. However difficult it might be to hear, she wanted to know the truth.

"Oh, I don't know,” Clare said, pulling a face. "It doesn't seem the time or the place to burden you with my problems."

"Clare, I've been in a coma for six weeks, and by the sounds of things you've been dealing with lots of drama. You're not burdening me, you're letting me be your best friend again."

Clare huffed and eyed Libby cautiously. "Justin didn't tell you?"

"He told me that you were upset,” Libby said, shaking her head. “That something had happened between you and JC, but he wouldn't say any more. He said you'd tell me when you're ready."

Clare gave a wry smile. Gold star for Timberlake. For some reason it surprised her that he’d kept her confidence, and she felt momentarily bad for that.

"Well," she began, sucking in a deep breath as she tried to organise her thoughts, "things were good for a while. He was really supportive when we found out you'd had an accident," she met Libby's eyes and swallowed hard. "Truthfully, I don't know what I would have done without him back then."

"So what happened?" Libby probed gently.

"Alyson came back into the picture."

"Alyson?" Libby repeated in surprise. "The one who blabbed to the papers?"

"The very same." Watching Libby react to the news was like reliving it all over again, and Clare felt the familiar ache in her gut return at the memory. "Anyway, they got back together—”

"What?"

"Don't worry, he had the decency to at least wait until I was a complete mess to tell me that he was getting back with his ex…” Clare muttered bitterly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “…And that he loved me, despite not wanting to be with me."

"He loves you?"

"Loved," Clare corrected." Past tense."

"I don't understand," Libby said with a frown. She was struggling to keep up with the flow of the conversation. Could all of this really have happened in just six weeks? "So he said that he loved you even though he was getting back with his ex?" She repeated, trying to make sense of the news.

"That's not all, Libs."

"It's not?"

"Nope. When you see JC you must be sure to congratulate him.” Clare paused dramatically. "On his engagement. And the baby..."

Libby placed a hand over her mouth as she tried to handle the shock of Clare's words. She stared at her friend with wide, horrified eyes. Perhaps it had been Clare's delivery, or the anger and bitterness in her words, but Libby's eyes once again began to fill with tears. She immediately began to imagine herself in Clare's position, and how she might feel if things were reversed. She pictured Justin's face in her mind and felt a painful stabbing in her chest. No...

"Clare, I'm so sorry... I don't even know what to say..."

"It's okay, Lib."

"No, it's really not," Libby replied. "I can't believe you've had to deal with all of that, and on top of worrying about me. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of that alone." Fresh tears filled Libby's eyes, and she wiped them away angrily with the back of her hand. "And I'm crying again, for goodness sake. You're the one who should be crying, not me."

"Honestly, Lib. I'm okay," Clare said, reaching out to take Libby's hand in her own. Libby sniffed loudly and watched her with wide, searching eyes. She wasn’t convinced for a second that Clare was fine.

"Okay, okay. I'm not fine, but I'm learning to accept what's happened. There's nothing I can do about it anyway."

"But how do you accept that?" Libby asked in disbelief. She knew that she wouldn't be able to just accept things the way Clare said she had. "How do you recover from that?" Libby asked lowering her voice, "You love him, Clare. You can't just stop loving someone!"

"I got away for a bit," Clare explained as she gave Libby's hand a squeeze. It felt good to be finally saying these things out loud, and it made Clare realise how far she'd come that it really was only Libby who was crying. She must've started to come around to accepting it after all. "Sara and Jason took me to Barcelona for a week, and then I went to Miami for a week all by myself. I just needed some space, you know?"

"You went on holiday without me!" Libby teased and then smiled to show that she was only joking.

"Just to clear my head."

"And did it help?"

Clare hesitated as she thought about her answer.

Had it helped at the time? Kind of. Had it made her feel stronger and more able to move on? Not really. But now that she was back home and having to be around JC all the time again, Clare wasn't sure that it had made all that much difference. Chris' words to her on the day that she'd left for Spain again flashed through her mind.

'... No, you're running away from him.'

Clare hadn't wanted to admit it at the time but Chris had been right. And just like the old wives' tale said, ‘you can't run away from your problems’. Her drama with JC had patiently awaited her return.

"Maybe. I dunno. It's hard to tell. Seeing him every day and knowing that whatever I do or say he's already moved on...” she hesitated and swallowed audibly. “That's pretty hard." To say the least.

Libby nodded in understanding.

"And I know it's permanent, you know? He's having a baby with her, there's no hope for me at all." Libby regarded Clare sadly and nodded a few times. "JC would never walk out on a child,” Clare continued. “Everyone knows that. So, no. I have to move on and accept that it just wasn't meant to be."

Libby remained silent and nodded once again. It certainly did look very unlikely that Clare would get her dream life with JC now; even though Libby had felt sure in her heart that it’d been meant to be. Maybe she and Clare had used up their shares of magic dust by coming to America? Was it greedy of them to want more? How much luck did one person deserve in a lifetime?

"Not that you need to worry about that happening to you," Clare teased playfully as she noticed the glum expression on Libby's face. She was desperate to lighten the atmosphere and change the subject away from her sad romantic life.

"I don't know what you mean," Libby replied as a blush spread over her cheeks. She ducked her head to hide her embarrassment and avoided Clare’s eyes.

"Oh, come on!" Clare laughed at her. "Don't you play coy with me. If it wasn't obvious before then it certainly is now. That boy is crazy in love with you, Libby."

"Who?"

"Who my ass! You know who, Justin!"

"Clare, he's not in love with me," Libby corrected quickly, secretly feeling thrilled to hear Clare utter such words. "We're just friends..."

"No, Libs," Clare said with a chuckle. "You can't use that old line anymore. You may not be aware of it—even though it's blindingly obvious—but that boy is crazy in love with you. Libby, he's head over heels."

Libby opened her mouth to argue, but Clare held her hand up to silence her. "Nope, I'm serious about this. You haven't witnessed him these past weeks. He's been here every day since you came into the hospital, even though he's supposed to be getting ready for the tour. He's made friends with all the nurses and doctors here; they all thought he was your boyfriend as he was so devoted. He even knows all their names by heart. I happened to explain once that he was just a friend, and he sulked for days afterwards. He wouldn't even speak to me!"

Libby laughed at the thought of Justin sulking and ignoring Clare. He could be such a baby when he didn't get his own way.

"Every little thing I did or said he acted like I needed to go through him first to check that it was okay. If you needed to have any kind of treatment then he'd spend hours on the internet at work finding out what the risks were, and how it would help you to recover. When I went to Spain he sent me pages and pages of print outs from the internet about whether you were able to hear us talking to you, or whether classical or popular music would be better for you to listen to. Jeez, he was so irritating."

Clare chuckled at the memory.

"But I knew that it was because he loved you, Libby. I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but that boy was a complete mess when we found out what had happened to you. It really hit him hard. I've never seen him like that. It was genuinely frightening—"

"I'm so sorry, Clare," Libby gushed suddenly, no longer able to remain silent. "I swear I never meant to hurt myself. I don't know why I was so stupid. I was angry, I guess. If I'd have known what would happen… if I’d had any idea what we’d all have to go through…"

"I'm sorry too," Clare said as she squeezed Libby's hand tighter. "Lib, I felt so terrible that I dismissed your problems so easily. I just hated myself afterwards for the way I let you walk out of that office when you were so upset. I should have taken the afternoon off and gone with you; said to hell to work and just been there for my best friend. I've always prioritised my work, and it was so wrong, Libby."

Libby reached out her arms, and both she and Clare cried as they held each other. They cried tears of regret and relief for having gone through hell but still come out the other side. Now they were stronger and more grateful for each other than ever before.

After a minute, Clare heard Libby mumble something into her shoulder and she listened carefully to try and catch what her friend was saying.

"Do you really think he loves me?"

Clare let out a loud laugh and pulled back so that she could look Libby square in the face. Clare rolled her eyes as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Yes, you crazy girl. Of course he loves you!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

The next day Clare had a private word with Libby's medical team, and asked whether Libby might be allowed to make the short walk to the hospital gardens where she could get some fresh air. Now that Libby was feeling better and was no longer connected to any machine, she was finding being cooped up in the small hospital room incredibly claustrophobic, and she craved some outside stimulation.

It was clear to everyone that Libby's recovery was coming along in leaps and bounds. She'd had her tracheostomy tube and catheter removed, and since then she'd been taking several small trips a day around the ward to build up her strength.

After Clare's careful pleading of her case, Libby's chief consultant agreed that she could go outside providing that she was only gone an hour, and made the use of a wheelchair to travel there and back. Clare knew that Libby would hate the thought of being wheeled around like an invalid, but she would likely agree to it if it allowed her a short glimpse of freedom.

"Yeah, I'm not getting in that," Libby said as soon as Clare wheeled the chair into the room.

Clare rolled her eyes. "It's the only way they'll let you out of this room," she said firmly. And like Clare had expected, after a short argument, Libby complied and allow herself to be escorted outside into the bright Florida sun. As soon as they were out of the shadows of the building, Libby twisted her head around to face the sun and feel its warming rays on her pale skin.

"This feels amazing!" she squealed before letting out a satisfied sigh as Clare wheeled her over to a sunny spot by the grass. As soon as the brakes were applied, Libby attempted to stand, but her weak legs only allowed her to half walk, half fall onto the soft grass beneath her feet.

"Whoa!" she chuckled as she landed on the ground.

"Be careful!" Clare cried anxiously as she glanced up at the building. "You'll get me in trouble, Libs. You're supposed to be resting remember?"

"Yeah, because I can forget," Libby said sarcastically as she tucked her legs underneath herself. "It's not like I'm reminded every day by being stuck in a gross hospital."

"A gross hospital that saved your life," Clare reminded her.

"I know. I'm not ungrateful, honest. I'm just so sick of being stuck indoors and having everyone watching me like I'm a ticking bomb. I'm fine!"

"Is that them?" A familiar voice called from the path that led to the car lot, and both Libby and Clare's heads snapped around to see where the sound had come from. Clare smiled and waved briefly when she noticed Chris and Justin making their way towards them, although her smile froze slightly on her face when she spotted Justin's look of concern. Even from a distance, Clare could tell that he wasn't very happy to see Libby outside.

"Lib!" Chris called cheerfully as he began to jog towards them leaving Justin to make his way over in his own time. "I'm glad to see your sleeping beauty act is finally finished," he chuckled as he wrapped Libby up in a tight hug. "That was quite a scare you gave us. Seemed to go on forever."

"That's because I'm an awesome actress," Libby giggled, playing along. Libby knew that she could rely on Chris to keep things light, even if his eyes betrayed his real feelings. He seemed to understand that she didn't want to keep talking about how hard things had been for her, or how much she'd put them all through. His teasing banter was like a breath of fresh air after all the intense conversations she'd had over the past few days.

"Why is she out of bed?" Justin asked accusingly as he caught up to the group and stood over them with his hands folded across his chest. His brow furrowed as he awaited an answer.

Libby frowned and shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand so that she could peer up at him. "She? What am I, a dog?"

Justin met Libby's eyes and gave her a wry smile. "Why is Elizabeth out of bed? She's supposed to be resting," he repeated sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at Libby.

"I am resting. I'm resting outside."

Ignoring Justin's tantrum, Chris plopped onto the floor beside Libby and arranged himself until he was comfortable. He placed a casual arm around Libby's shoulder and gave her a brief, affectionate squeeze as he glanced up at Justin and gestured for him to take a seat. Justin hesitated for a moment, trying not to glare at his band mate, but eventually he obliged.

"I hope she used that wheelchair," Justin mumbled under his breath as he dropped down beside Chris and splayed his legs out in front of him. His words were just loud enough for Clare to hear, and she glared over at him ready to lay into him if he started. Justin met her eyes and smirked.

"Anyway..." Chris said quickly, trying to steer the question away from Libby and her wheelchair. "What were you guys talking about before we arrived?"

"Fresh air," Libby told him as she turned her head up to the sun once again and closed her eyes. "I'm so sick of being cooped up in that room while the sun shines out here. I can't tell you how amazing it feels to finally be outside!"

Clare let out a short laugh as she remembered her and Lynn's conversation when they'd sat in practically the same spot all those weeks ago. The memory was as fresh in her mind as though it had happened yesterday.

+ + +

Clare sat on the grass in the small memorial garden at the side of the hospital building with Lynn by her side. They were both holding polystyrene cups of steaming hot coffee from the hospital cafeteria, but neither of them had yet taken a sip. Clare let out a deep sigh and glanced up at the bright blue sky above her head.

"Why is it that such terrible things happen on such beautiful days?" she asked Lynn as she closed her eyes and let the sun's rays warm her face. It was a small degree of comfort to her and she immediately felt bad for allowing herself to enjoy it. After all, it seemed wrong to be soaking up the sunshine when Libby was trapped—literally—indoors. "You know, if Lib were awake right now she'd be complaining about being cooped up inside on a lovely day like this."

Lynn looked at Clare's strained face and offered her a sympathetic smile. "She loves to be outside," she agreed.

Clare glanced down at the grass by her legs as tears began to form in her eyes, and she pulled a few blades of grass free from the soil. Avoiding Lynn's eyes, she asked the question that she hadn't yet dare to utter aloud. "She's going to get through this, isn't she?"

+ + +

Clare looked over at Libby as grateful tears began to form in her eyes. She could remember how scared she'd been back then that Libby would never again be able to enjoy the outside as she had before.

Libby met Clare's eyes, and a fond smile crossed her face. She read from Clare's expression what she was thinking and Libby realised then and there that neither of them would ever again take their friendship for granted. It had been a terrible way of learning how much they cared about each other, but neither of them would forget the lesson. They were best friends, and they would be for life.

~~~~~*~~~~~

A couple of days passed, and finally Libby's medical team agreed that she was well enough to be discharged from the hospital; providing that she attend twice weekly outpatient sessions for the time being and get as much bed–rest as possible.

Clare had been unable to take the time off from work at such short notice, and so Justin had volunteered to be the one to collect Libby from the hospital and drive her home. The other members of *NSYNC had been a little anxious about him taking time out of their vocal training with the tour just around the corner, but he'd promised them all— including their vocal coach—that he would make up any time he missed. He'd assured everyone that he would put in extra practice to compensate for his absence.

Libby had expected the apartment to be empty when she arrived, but she hadn't anticipated Clare having spent the time before she'd left for work that morning filling the counter tops of the kitchen, and the coffee table in the living room, with the cards and flowers that Libby had received from her friends and family to welcome her home. The gesture had taken Libby completely by surprise, and she'd needed a few minutes to compose herself as she'd absorbed the overwhelming display of love that her friends and family had for her.

Fortunately, Justin had let Libby enter the apartment first and spent a few minutes lingering by his car so that she had time to catch her breath before he followed her inside, carrying her suitcase and the rucksack that he'd used to transport the small amount of possessions she'd accumulated at the hospital.

"It's so good to be home," Libby told him as she became aware of his presence behind her in the doorway and flashed him a smile. Justin dropped her bags by his feet and closed the door behind him before turning back around to face her.

"I bet it is," he told her with a smile. "I know how much you hate hospitals."

"It's the smell," Libby said as she wrinkled her nose up in revulsion at the memory.

"In which case you probably won't like me very much right now," Justin said as he glanced down at his hoodie and jeans, which had been the first set of clothes that he'd grabbed that morning in his rush to get to the hospital. They were the same clothes that he'd been wearing the day before when he'd visited her. Libby smiled to herself at the thought of a pair of grungy jeans and a hoodie somehow changing the way she felt about him.

"No chance," Libby grinned, and held out both her arms towards him. She playfully tilted her head to one side and asked, "don't I get a welcome home hug?"

Justin beamed at her before quickly crossing the distance between them and wrapping her up in his arms. He lifted her lightly up off of her feet and began to gently swing her around in a circle as she let out a mixture of a squeal and a giggle. Libby wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and squeezed her eyes shut at the sensation of the room spinning around her.

As Justin carefully set her back onto her feet, Libby tilted her head up and looked at him, a big grin plastered across her face as she found herself suddenly unable to contain her sheer happiness at finally being back home. And possibly being back in his arms again.

They grinned at each other for a moment before Justin said, "you're glad to be home then?" He was finding her unbridled delight completely captivating and charming. It had been a long time since he'd seen her in such high spirits, and the sight of her glowing face filled him with a rush of love.

"Definitely!"

"Would you like me to leave you alone then?" he asked before releasing her temporarily from his hold with the pretence of heading towards the front door.

"No!" Libby said a little too emphatically, and Justin turned back around to face her with a smug grin on his face. He chuckled under his breath and pulled her back into his arms where she placed her face against his chest to try to hide her embarrassment.

"Whoops...” she giggled, her voice muffled by his sweatshirt, "bit loud. That's embarrassing."

"Nah, go ahead," Justin chuckled as a big smile appeared on his face. He'd forgotten what it felt like to be this happy. "I know you love me," he said casually, although his heart was hammering away at a million miles an hour in his chest.

Libby sucked in a deep breath as she realised that the moment had finally arrived. There would never be a better time than the present.

She'd told herself over and over that she no longer wanted to live her life on the side–lines, watching everyone else get what they wanted while she remained too afraid to try. How long could she go on letting time pass her by without doing something about her feelings for Justin? Sooner or later someone else would come along, and then she'd lose him for good. Could she allow that to happen when she was pretty sure that she was already in love with him?

Libby had seen only a few of the consequences of what had transpired between Clare and JC, but she was determined not to let that happen to her. No matter how scary it was to finally reveal her feelings to Justin, nothing could be worse than possibly losing him in the long run because she was too afraid to try. This was her chance. He might have only been teasing her, but what better time could there be to finally tell him how she felt?

What day is it? / And in what month? / This clock never seemed so alive / I can't keep up / And I can't back down / I've been losing so much time...

"Justin," Libby whispered in a trembling voice.

"Yeah."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?" he asked, placing a hand under her chin and gently tilting her face up so that he could look her in the eye. Libby wanted to roll her eyes at his question, but she managed to resist, and instead she stared deeply into his blue eyes. She could get lost in those eyes.

"Do you know?"

"Know what?"

"Know that I love you?"

Cause it's you, and me / And all other people / With nothing to do / And nothing to lose / And it's you, and me / And all other people / And I don't know why / I can't keep my eyes off of you...

"Yeah, of course I do. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Well, I mean... that's not exactly... I don't know that I want to be friends anymore," she mumbled, biting down on her bottom lip anxiously as she tried to find the right words to express how she was feeling. Her eyes flicked between his, willing him to understand what she was terrified to say.

"Great," Justin replied sarcastically. He had a feeling he knew what she was trying to say, but he enjoyed teasing her too much to let her off the hook so easily. Secretly he was thrilled that she was finally hinting at the white elephant in the room that they'd both been skirting around for years.

"Come on, you know what I mean...” Libby mumbled, frowning slightly as her cheeks flushed scarlet. Was he really that oblivious?

"Do I?

"Eurgh! That's annoying. You're really not making this easy you know."

"Not making what easy?" he asked with an obvious twinkle in his eyes. Once again he reached forward, and this time he brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. His hand lingered by her cheek just a little too long, and Libby felt the skin where he'd touch her tingle.

"You know what," she told him in a slightly irritated tone. Or at least you should do.

"Do I?"

"Eurgh! Stop saying 'do I?' all the time. I'm trying to open my heart up to you here and you just keep answering my question with a question."

"Jeez, sorry. Okay, why is it that you don't want to be friends?" he asked, grinning.

"That's a stupid question," Libby said with a roll of her eyes.

"Is it?" Justin chuckled. "It seems perfectly reasonable to me. You said you don't want to be friends with me anymore, and I think I should at least be allowed to ask why—"

"Now you're just being mean," Libby snapped, wishing that she hadn't opened her mouth. If he was just going to laugh at her then she'd just forget the whole thing. She wasn't going to play this game. "I only just woke up from a coma," she reminded him sternly, "and you're already being mean to me. What a jerk."

At the mention of her coma, the smile dropped instantly from Justin's face. He'd been enjoying playing with her but her words signalled the end of his good humour. Didn't she realise the effects that her accident had taken on him? Did she really think that he'd be able to laugh it off when he was still so raw inside?

"Ha! That wiped the smile off your face," Libby sniggered and flashed him a grin which Justin refused to return. You can't play with fire without getting burned, she thought smugly to herself. 

"Yeah, bringing that up will do that. You know I hate talking about it."

"Why?"

"Because it was one of the worst times in my life. Seeing you like that..." his voice broke and Justin cleared his throat to try to cover for it.

"Why?" Libby mimicked, but Justin was too lost in his dark thoughts to understand that she was teasing him.

"'Cause… I nearly lost you. I... I just can't..." He met her eyes and instantly noticed the amused grin on her face. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment at having fallen into her trap. "Alright, smart ass. I get it. Now you're answering my questions with a question."

"Annoying, isn't it?" Libby giggled.

"Very."

Libby squeezed her lips shut to hold in the giggle that threatened to escape. She grinned up at him, but Justin stubbornly held his chin up and avoided eye contact. He was still hurt about her mention of the accident, and Libby felt a little sorry for using her trauma to get a rise out of him, but she had found it funny how quickly he'd changed his tune.

All of the things / That I want to say / Just aren't coming out right / I'm tripping on words / You get my head spinning / And I don't know where to go from here...

"Are you grumpy now?" she asked after a few minutes of silence which she could only assume meant that he was sulking. He hadn't removed his arms from around her, so she figured that he couldn't really be that upset.

"A little."

"Why?" Libby asked before letting out a playful giggle as Justin rolled his eyes. She sounded just like a parrot; repeating the same word over and over.

"God, you're annoying," he chuckled, and his face cracked into a wry smile as he met her eyes.

"But you love me?" Libby asked, her voice light and playful but her words tinged with hope. This was it. This was the moment. If he refused to answer the question now then there was still time to brush it off as a joke. But if he didn't...

"Yes, all right? I love you."

Libby inhaled deeply, but forced herself to keep her voice light, even as her eyes bore into his for the answer she so desperately needed to hear. "Like a friend?"

"No," Justin groaned in mock frustration. It wasn't the way that he'd anticipated revealing his feelings to her, but things had gone too far. He couldn't believe the way she'd wheeled the truth out of him, but he figured that he might as well go with it.

Libby pretended to be offended and pouted. "Jeez, you don't have to say it like that," she said, glancing up at him through her lashes. Justin's eyes immediately fixed on her mouth, and for a moment the atmosphere crackled around them.

Libby slipped her arms around his waist and leaned against his chest as Justin's heart began to hammer away. She smiled up into his face, and when she spoke her voice was soft. "Do you really love me?" she asked again, her face inches from his. All Justin could focus on was green eyes and pouty lips.

"I dunno. Do you love me?" he asked eventually, lifting his arm to brush the back of his hand down the side of her cheek. Once again his hand lingered by her cheek, and he twirled a strand of her soft hair between his fingers. Libby sucked a breath into the back of her throat, only realising in that moment that she'd been holding her breath.

"Yes," she said honestly, and the lack of hesitation in her voice surprised even her.

"Like a friend'?" Justin asked, doing a deliberately bad impression of her earlier question. He raised a teasing eyebrow but pressed her body closer to his with a hand on the small of her back.

"No," Libby said through a slightly hysterical giggle.

"Like, maybe something else?" Justin asked quietly, and Libby felt a smile tug at her lips as she noticed him lean his face closer to hers. He hadn't lifted his eyes from her mouth for several seconds, and the very fact sent her heart–beat into overdrive.

"Yes, I think so."

Justin smiled and closed the gap between them, pressing his lips softly against hers. As Libby felt his arms tighten around her body, she slipped her arms out from around his waist and placed them around his neck. At once Justin squeezed her to him even tighter.

"Good," he whispered as he pulled away momentarily before crushing his lips back onto hers, sending Libby's legs to jelly and her heart to the moon.

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

"A little birdy told me that someone kissed someone else yesterday," Clare chuckled to Jamie and Sara as they sat in Jamie's office the next day during their morning coffee break. Clare grinned as Jamie raised her eyebrows before smiling and placing her coffee mug back onto the table without taking a sip.

"Really?” She beamed. “And who might that be I wonder?"

"You and JC?" Sara asked with a gasp and both Clare and Jamie spun around to look at her in alarm.

“What?” Clare squeaked in disgust.

"No!" Jamie exclaimed causing Sara to laugh and hold her hands up defensively in front of her face.

"Sorry, I just..."

"What?" Clare snapped.

"I just thought that maybe—”

"What? That I'd lost my mind?"

"No."

"That we'd stumbled into an alternate reality?"

"No," Sara said with a laugh.

"Then what?"

"I just thought that you both had this angry, crazy sexual tension thing going on and that it might've found itself an outlet."

Clare stared at her in horror for a second before sneering and crossing her arms moodily across her chest. "Not if my life depended on it," she said, "I can't believe you'd think that.”

"There was a time when the thought of kissing JC wasn't as repulsive to you," Jamie reminded Clare playfully before turning to wink conspiratorially at Sara.

"Well then I must've finally come to my senses."

"So if you're not talking about you and JC, then who?" Sara asked.

"Justin and Libby!" Jamie squeaked excitedly before Clare even had a chance to speak. Jamie’s face lit up, and she stared at Clare with wide eyes, waiting for Clare to confirm the news.

Clare stared at Jamie in confusion, a surprised frown crossing her face. There was no way that Jamie could’ve heard already…

"Really?" Sara gasped and Clare nodded although her face remained tight with tension. She felt riled by Sara's assumption. As if she would kiss JC...

"When did this happen?" Jamie asked as she once again lifted her coffee mug to take a sip. She grinned at Clare over the rim of the cup, unable to fight her glee. After all, everyone had been waiting for Justin to say something to Libby since the day she’d regained consciousness. It’d only been a matter of time.

"Yesterday morning. After he drove her home from the hospital."

"Finally," Jamie grinned. "So they’re officially together now?"

"I guess so,” Clare replied. “To be honest, I haven't really had a chance to grill her on the details. She only mentioned it casually a few minutes before I left for work and there wasn't really time to grill her about it. Not like Libby I must say. I would’ve expected her to be bouncing around the apartment singing at the top of her voice."

Both Jamie and Sara exchanged a glance, grinning.

"I think it's sweet,” Sara said. “About time I must say."

"Yeah, kinda sad though really. Don't you think?" Jamie asked her as the reality of Libby and Justin’s situation sunk in. Thanks to her role in planning it, the tour was rarely far from Jamie’s thoughts.

"Sad?" Clare said in surprise.

"Yeah, I mean he'll be leaving on tour soon. They won't have a lot of time together before he has to go."

"I know,” Clare said, anticipating how hard it would be for her friend to say goodbye to Justin after such an emotional reunion. “I keep forgetting how close the tour is now. It's going to be really strange not seeing you all for three months. I'm really going to miss you all."

"Oh, come on, Clare. We'll be back before you know it. Three months isn't that long!" Sara reminded her with a chuckle.

"It's a quarter of a year,” Clare corrected her. "A lot can change in that amount of time."

"You say that as though you won't be here when we get back," Jamie said, her suspicions rising and she eyed Clare suspiciously. Jamie knew that Clare had been understandably melancholy about her situation with JC, but ever since her return from Miami, there had been a darker undercurrent of unhappiness to her, despite Libby’s miraculous recovery. Jamie was concerned, but whenever she broached the ‘JC subject’, Clare immediately shut down and got angry. Despite her friends’ attempts to bring it up at suitable opportunities, Clare still wouldn’t listen to anyone regarding anything to do with JC. It was starting to get on everyone’s nerves.

Clare let out a deep breath and glanced from Jamie to Sara and back again. “Well…” she began. “Actually I might not be." She held her breath, awaiting their inevitable reaction.  

"What?" Sara asked as she searched Clare's eyes for answers before turning to glance at Jamie in confusion. She gauged from the blank expression on Jamie’s face that she, too, was confused.

"You aren't serious, are you?" Jamie asked Clare. She frowned as Clare met her eyes. "Is this about him?"

Clare gave a wry smile at Jamie’s ability to see right through her. She really knew her too well.  

Clare had made her decision to leave the club not long after her arrival in Spain. She’d come to the decision that despite the pain that she would initially feel, it would be a lot easier to forgive and forget JC when she didn't have to see him.

Up till now she hadn't wanted to say anything to her colleagues and friends until she’d secured herself another job, but she knew that time was running out. She only had a short amount of time to be able to tell them all in person, which is what she wanted to do. They deserved that, at least.

Clare had lined up a few interviews for the coming week, and she was hopeful that she'd be able to hand in her notice of resignation by the following Monday.

"I just can't work around him," Clare said honestly. "You've seen me this past week; I've been so forgetful and unprofessional, biting his head off all the time. Not to mention I'm dreading her walking through the door at any minute, which is bound to happen at some point. I can't keep putting myself through this, and so I've decided to be brave and look for something else."

"Does Libby know?" Sara asked immediately. She couldn’t believe that Clare wouldn’t have told Libby such big news, but then Clare had become very protective of Libby recently, and she was trying her best to shelter her from bad news. It was one of the reasons why no one had mentioned anything to Libby about the truth behind what had happened between JC and Clare. Even Justin was cautious about upsetting Libby with the truth. They all knew that Libby would do whatever it took to make Clare listen to JC, but that she’d probably affect her recovery by doing so. Everyone was content to keep Libby wrapped deeply in cotton wool for as long as possible.

"No, I haven't told anyone. You're the first ones to know, actually."

"Will you tell the guys?" Jamie asked abruptly, knowing how much it would shock and hurt the members of *NSYNC if Clare just upped and left unexpectedly.

"I guess they'll probably find out, but it won't be from me. Unlike you guys, I think it would be better for them to hear it from Johnny when they're occupied with the tour."

"I don't know, Clare," Sara said, pulling a face at Jamie. "I think they'd be pretty hurt to not hear it from you—"

"Damn right they'll be hurt!" Chris's voice bellowed from just inside the doorway. All three women jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice.

"Oh, God," Clare groaned as she realised that Chris had overheard all their conversation. Now there was no way she'd be able to leave without a fuss. It was exactly what she hadn’t wanted to happen.

"How could you think about quitting?” Chris barked as he stormed across the room towards Clare, his hands waving around erratically by his side. “This is crazy! You love your job, and this thing with JC will blow over—"

"No, Chris," Clare told him firmly. "You can't talk me around this time. I've made my decision. Yes, I love my job, and you know I love you all, but I have to do what's right for my life. Leaving feels like the right thing to do."

"Johnny won't accept your resignation. I'll talk to him. We won't let you quit."

"He'll have to accept it. I have job interviews lined up all week, and as soon as I'm accepted I'll be leaving."

"And if you don't get a job?" he challenged, his eyes flashing with anger. Although he seemed to be furious, Jamie knew him well enough to know that it was hurt rather than actual fury that was firing his reaction. No one would be more hurt than Chris to hear that Clare was leaving. Although Clare didn’t know it, Chris had been doing all he could to convince JC to keep trying to get through to Clare. He really had been doing all he could to fight her corner for her.

"Then I'll look for another one until I do,” Clare said stubbornly.

"This doesn't make sense," Chris said in a bitter voice. "You know you'll regret this. There's no way this is anything more than a split second decision, and therefore you’ll change your mind back just as quickly."

Clare failed to see the concern in Chris’ eyes, and immediately saw red. She hated the accusation that she hadn’t thought through her decision, and especially that he thought it centred completely around JC. There was an element of truth to it, of course, but she’d never admit that aloud. What if she really did just fancy a change? Was that really so hard to believe?

"I've made up my mind, Chris, and it has nothing to do with you. I'm leaving. I've made my decision. It's done. You wonder why I want to leave? This right now! I want to live my own life for a change, not run around continually after you lot for the rest of my life. I'm done!"

Clare threw her hands up in the air and shoved past him, striding angrily towards the door. She wasn’t going to stand there and let him talk a hole in her defence. She was leaving, and there was nothing that he could say or do to change her mind.

"Nice one, Chris!" Sara muttered as Clare disappeared from sight. "If you hadn't charged in like a bull in a china shop then maybe we could have talked her around.”

Chris turned to meet Jamie’s eyes, and an unspoken message passed between them. They’d have their work cut out trying to convince Clare to stay, but no matter what it took, they had to try.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Since coming out of the hospital, Libby had spent most of her time resting in her bedroom as directed by the medical team at the hospital. She was still taking it easy, and—ironically—she still needed lots of sleep just to get through the day. Although she knew the reasons for this, Libby was quickly becoming frustrated with her inability to jump straight back into her normal life. She hadn't anticipated the fact that even though she'd been discharged she would still be doing exactly the same things she'd been doing in the hospital, only in her own apartment instead.

Clare had understood Libby's frustration, and had done everything she could to make her routine feel as normal as possible. Even going as far as to get one of the guys to carry the heavy TV from the living room into Libby's bedroom for her to watch while Clare was out at work. It was a small gesture, but one that Libby greatly appreciated.

Most of the time Libby sat propped up in bed, either watching monotonous daytime TV or reading the magazines that Lisa and Jamie had purchased for her. Her bedroom had gone from being cluttered with textbooks and notepads to resembling a newsstand. Not that she was complaining. Anything to stop her from staring at the same four walls for hours on end was a bonus.

But the highlight of her day was when Justin turned up—usually at lunchtime, or early evening when he'd return from rehearsals. The tour was only weeks away now, and even though the choreography they were going over wasn't new, the group was still spending most of their days running over it again and again to lock it into their minds. There wouldn't be time to learn anything out on the road, and any mistakes would be very noticeable once they were performing night after night. It was very much a case of learn it now or let everyone down later.

Justin was exhausted but was still riding the wave of relief and joy that Libby was awake, which seemed to be helping him find the energy to devote all of his precious time off to her. Not that he minded. Clare realised that she should feel very fortunate that he was kept busy during the day. Without the tour to prepare for she wondered if Justin would ever leave their apartment at all.

Libby and Clare were pretty much running an 'open house' arrangement when Clare was back from work. Libby was so starved for company after being left alone all day that it wasn't a problem having a crowd of people over in the evenings. Especially as they would usually bring with them ready–to–eat food, which Clare would heat up and divide between whoever was there. Clare was always grateful for an excuse not to cook.

Libby would then demand that everyone congregate in her room—she was still too weak to venture far from her room, with the only exception being toilet breaks—which was fortunately large enough to house a crowd. She'd listen with eager ears as her friends described their days at work, a funny story they'd heard on the radio, or even just chatter idly about the 'old days', which really weren't that old at all.

Libby would sit there with a kilowatt grin on her face, her eyes dancing between each familiar face until her lids became heavy, her voice slurred and the crowd would discreetly disperse to let her get some rest. She was usually fast asleep before they'd even all left the room.

Tonight was such a night.

Justin had come over a little after seven, bringing with him Lisa and Joey, who'd lovingly prepared a chicken and pasta bake—one of Libby's favourites—for them all to enjoy. After clearing up afterwards, they'd all descended into Libby's room, and were in the process of lounging around and chatting amicably when a loud pounding on the front door disturbed them.

Clare exchanged glances with Justin and Lisa, before getting to her feet. "I better get that," she mumbled as she answered Libby's questioning look with a shrug and shuffled along the hallway to answer the door.

As soon as the door was opened, she wished that she hadn't bothered. "Oh, no."

"You're quitting?" JC yelled as Clare backed away from the door with a roll of her eyes. Ever since Chris had overheard her conversation with Sara and Jamie, Clare had been waiting for this moment. She'd known that despite what had gone down between her and JC, he still wouldn't be happy about her leaving her job, and he’d doubtless feel the need to confront her about it. Now was that moment.

Clare turned and prepared to head back towards Libby's room, not bothering to look at JC, let alone close the door either in his face, or after he'd entered the apartment. She didn't care if he stayed or left. She had nothing to say to him either way.

Hearing the confrontation from inside Libby's bedroom, Joey exchanged a look with Justin and shook his head, silencing the younger man who had opened his mouth to speak. Joey hadn't wanted to say anything about it in front of Libby, but he, too, had heard about Clare's plans to leave, and he’d also been awaiting JC's reaction when he finally found out. Joey knew that Chris would warn his band mate about Clare's plans, and he hadn't envied Chris for being the bearer of such news.

"This could get bad..." Justin said.

"What's going on?" Libby asked, the confusion evident in her voice. She poked at Justin's shoulder as he half–lay, half–sat beside her on the bed, his upper body supported by her pillows, and he turned his head to look at her. Libby raised an eyebrow and gestured at her half–closed bedroom door. "What’s going on?" She hissed as she gave his shoulder another shove.

Justin raised his hand, and was about to speak when Lisa shushed him loudly. "I wanna hear!" she hissed as she got up to stand closer to the door.

"Who told you?" Clare asked angrily as she turned to scowl at JC. She'd stopped outside her bedroom door, and wasn't planning on taking another step whilst he was still talking. She hadn't yet told Libby about her plans to leave, and she didn't want JC, in his anger, to be the one to spill the beans.

Although Clare had said the words aloud anyway, there was really no need for her to ask such a question. It was blindingly obvious who had told. Chris.

"Who'd you think?" JC snapped back with a roll of his eyes. "Thanks for letting me be the last one to know, by the way. I assume the fact that Chris felt the need to tell me means that everyone else knows, and you just didn't bother to tell me. I really appreciate that.”

"Why should I tell you?" Clare asked with a sneer.

"'Cause I deserve to know, don't you think?"

Clare let out a bitter laugh and shuffled back until she was leaning against her bedroom door. This exchange was draining the last of what little energy she had left at the end of the day, but she didn't want to appear weak before him. She lifted her chin defiantly and held her head high. "No, not really," she spat. "There are lots of things that you deserve, but not that."

JC let out an angry growl, chewed down onto his bottom lip and punched one rolled up fist into his other open palm. Clare tried her best not to wince at the sound of his anger.

"For God's sake! Will you just let me explain woman?!" he bellowed.

"No!" Clare shouted back, her voice rising a decibel. "How many times do I have to tell you? It doesn't matter!"

"Yes, it does! It changes everything!"

"Not for me. The damage is done, I'm moving on. That's all there is to say."

JC rolled his eyes and took an angry step towards her. Clare knew better than to be afraid—he'd never hurt her—but it was hard not to react to the desperation and fury in his eyes. Clearly he was finding it hard to keep a lid on his emotions, which was very unlike him. When needed JC usually had no problem shutting down, and he could easily show only the side of him that people wanted to see. It was a part of his job, after all, and he'd been doing it well since he was a child.

"So you're running away again," JC said and gave a knowing nod of his head as though he had her completely worked out. "That figures."

Clare saw red, both at his words and at the fact he seemed to think that he knew her so well. He knew nothing about the person she'd become in the past few months. "What's that supposed to mean?" she spat as her cheeks flushed an angry red.

"That you run when things get rough," JC continued. "Before when you couldn't face me you left for two weeks. Now I try to talk to you and you make it virtually impossible for me, and now you're quitting. It's just totally predictable behaviour, Clare. I can't believe I didn't see it all along. And I suppose you're secretly hoping that I'll chase after you—"

"Like hell I am!" Clare roared, the furnace of her anger having been stoked by his words. "You stay the hell away from me. Once my resignation is accepted, I'm gone. It's finished. Done."

"Resignation?" Libby whispered to Justin in a shaky breath. She hated hearing her friends arguing at the best of times, but this was something else. She'd never heard Clare or JC raise their voices at anyone like this before. She was trying hard to fight it, but the sound of their raised voices alone made her want to cry. And that was before she considered the raging headache that she'd woken up to after her last nap.

Libby stared at Justin's blue eyes in shock. "Did you know about this?" she asked him.

He pulled a face. "Well..."

"Shhh!" Lisa hissed again, silencing them both.

"Finished? My ass! You know you won't be able to move on that easily, Clare. Whatever you may think and however much you may hate me, you know you love your job. You're leaving because you're hurt about what happened between us; nothing more and nothing less!" JC flashed her a nasty, smug grin and folded his arms across his chest.

Clare scowled at him. "That's where you're wrong. Not everything revolves around you, Joshua Chasez, despite what you may think! I'm ready for a change. It's high time I moved on, and there's nothing to stop me from doing just that."

Libby swallowed audibly and met Justin's eyes, her own filling with tears. A pained, sympathetic expression appeared on his face. He was angry with Clare. Furious with JC. Why did they have to do this here and upset Libby like this? This was no place to have this kind of discussion, and it wasn't fair of either of them to make Libby listen to it.

"Ouch," Libby whispered in a trembling voice as she attempted to keep a brave smile on her face. Even though she realised that the words had been said in anger, she was deeply hurt. Did Clare really feel that way? Was she really planning on upping and leaving? And why hadn't she said anything about it up till now? Especially to her. Weren't they supposed to be best friends? Best friends who told each everything?

Justin reached out and pulled Libby snugly into his arms. He planted a kiss on her temple before lifting his chin and tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "She doesn't mean you, my sweetheart," he said softly as he felt Libby nestle into his chest.

Both Lisa and Joey exchanged a glance.

"We better do something before this gets out of hand," Joey said as he stood and pulled Lisa to her feet after him. They both tentatively left the room, pulling the door closed behind them to leave Justin to console Libby in peace.

"Guys come on, don't do this here," Joey said calmly as entered the hallway with an anxious looking Lisa following closely behind. "You're upsetting Libby."

For the first time, Clare realised that Libby had probably overheard all of their argument and she felt shame colour her cheeks. This was exactly what she hadn't wanted to have happen. Now not only had she likely upset Libby, but her friend would know that she'd been keeping secrets from her. It was everything she’d been trying to protect Libby from, and it was all JC’s fault.

Clare turned to scowl at JC, putting the blame completely on his shoulders for getting her so angry, and she saw a fleetingly similar expression of shame and embarrassment on his face.

"You can leave," she muttered, her voice quieter and yet still filled with venom. "There's nothing for you here now, JC."

JC met her eyes and stared at her for what felt like an endless moment. At the intensity of his stare, Clare felt her hands begin to shake.

"You know what?" he said eventually, all emotion now devoid from his voice. His eyes dropped from her eyes to her bare feet and then back again in a sweeping glance. In that moment Clare felt completely worthless, as though he’d studied her minutely and still considered her below him. "I'm beginning to think that maybe there never was."

Joey was quick to react. He planted a hand on JC's chest and gave a firm shove towards the front door. "Alright," he muttered, and Clare was surprised by the stern tone of his voice. He sounded like a parent who'd overheard their child say something that had disappointed them deeply, and they were almost too upset to be able to talk about it. "Walk away, man. You need to cool off."

Lisa arrived at Clare's side and slipped her hand into Clare's shaking, clammy palm. Clare turned her head to look at her, her mouth still extended into a shocked grimace. Lisa nodded and ran her other hand soothingly up and down Clare's arm. Words weren’t necessary. It hadn't been easy to watch, and Lisa could only guess as to how Clare was feeling.

Joey gave JC another shove, and the pair of them disappeared out of the front door. Clare could just about make out Joey muttering something to JC before the door closed behind them, and she was left with Lisa, trying to catch her breath and understand what had just happened.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Okay!" Joey said as he followed JC to his jeep and climbed into the passenger seat beside him. He turned to JC, his face deadly serious. "Now listen. Clare isn't going to change her mind about leaving—"

"But I've got to try!" JC said, slamming his hand onto the steering wheel in frustration.

"Listen to me!" Joey complained loudly. "I haven't finished yet. She doesn't know all the details, does she? She still thinks you and Alyson are together because no one has been able to tell her differently, right?"

"Because she's stubborn and won't listen, yeah.”

"Okay, well if she won't listen to you, and she doesn't want to hear it from us then we were thinking—"

"Who's we?" JC asked, eyeing Joey suspiciously.

"Just wait to hear me out before you ask questions," Joey told him. "We thought that maybe we could work on convincing her and Libby to come with us on tour!"

JC stared at Joey incredulously, but Joey didn't seem to notice. He continued relaying the plan, unaware of his friend's obvious contempt for his words. "It's a perfect way for Justin to spend more time with Libby, and gives you a chance to wear Clare down."

"Right," JC muttered as he rolled his eyes. "We can't convince her not to quit," he quipped dryly, "but I'm sure it'll be easy to talk her into sharing a tour bus with us for several months. Great plan, Joe.”

"It is a great plan!" Joey argued, his voice raising an octave, causing JC to question the true mastermind behind ‘the plan'. Up till now he'd put it down to something that Chris would dream up, but now that Joey was acting so defensively, JC had begun to change his mind...

"Come on, Joe. You know that won't work. There's no way in hell that Clare will agree to that, and Libby has only just come out of hospital. She's not up to flying, let alone travelling. She couldn't tour with us, it’s a stupid idea."

"It's not Libby that you have to worry about," Joey said. "Justin will handle the arrangements with all the doctors and stuff. And as for Clare, it doesn't matter if she agrees or not."

JC narrowed his eyes. "It doesn't?"

"We're gonna kidnap her!" Joey chuckled manically, his eyes bright with glee. Once again JC stared at him in horror. All the time that he'd been listening to his friends' plan, JC had held a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, they were onto something. But now that he knew that they were plotting nothing but smoke, that their plan was in fact completely lame, not to mention impossible, he was losing patience.

"Joe..." he sighed in frustration.

"No! Don't Joe me! This has to work!"

"Why?"

"Because it has to!"

"Great," JC muttered sarcastically. "I think you're overlooking a few crucial points, though," he said, and held up his right hand to tick off the points one by one. "One, what you're planning is illegal. Two, there's no way you'll be able to get Clare onto a plane without her screaming blue murder and alerting someone. And three, she's handing, or has handed in her resignation. She'll no longer be working for the label, and therefore she’ll have nothing to do while on tour. What will stop her from booking a flight straight home again?"

Joey shook his head, a smug smile crossing his face, and JC realised that he knew something that he didn't.

"Nah, nah, nah," Joey said, "That's all been handled. Chris called Johnny earlier, and asked him to disregard Clare's resignation letter. He said that she was struggling to come to terms with all the extra workload with the tour, not to mention Libby's recovery, and that she hadn't been thinking straight when she wrote the letter. He made Johnny believe that he was acting in her best interests, and that if she resigned she'd only come to regret it later. Johnny had no qualms dismissing her request to resign. He even promised Chris not to bring it up with her to spare her embarrassment!"

Despite feeling slightly uncomfortable over the way things were being handled, JC couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the idea of Chris calling Johnny and feigning concern for Clare. It had been a risky move, but it’d clearly played out into their hands. If his friends had managed to pull that part of the plan off then maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea after all.

"—Plus, we've figured that if we get stuck in a corner, we just say to Clare that Libby wants to go home to visit her family for a while, and she needs someone to travel with her. There's no way she'd be able to refuse a request like that. Especially if it comes directly from Libby."

"So Libby's in on it? I mean, she knows?"

Joey pulled a face and grimaced sheepishly. “Well..… no.”

JC shook his head and snorted in amusement. Just one look at Joey revealed how pleased he was with his plan, and JC knew that it would take a lot to try to undermine his faith in it working. He knew that he should probably try, but there was something so deliciously tempting about the plan. Especially as he wouldn't have to get his hands dirty.

"You're crazy," JC said eventually and sniggered. "Clare’ll kill us when she finds out."

Joey pretended not to hear. He'd already thought about every angle, and was way too involved to start back at phase one now.

"So you're in?" he asked, his eyebrows raised encouragingly, and a wide grin on his face. He seemed to feel confident that JC would be more than willing to help.

"No way," JC chuckled. "She hates me enough as it is. You and your secret accomplice are on your own I'm afraid."

Joey rolled his eyes but didn't seem too put off. He'd had to do a lot of persuading to convince Justin of the plan's benefits, but it had been worthwhile in the end. And even Lance had been willing to get involved, which had to stand for something. Lance was a true southern gentleman and rarely turned to the dark side.

"Come on, JC. Don't you want a chance to make it right with Clare?"

JC let out a heavy sigh and glowered straight ahead through the windscreen. "Of course I do," he said, "you know I do."

"Great!" Joey said cheerfully taking JC's words as enough of an affirmative for him to go ahead. "It's all sorted then. All the preparations are well under way, so now we just have to wait it out."

JC turned back to gawp at him. Well under way? What was that about? Would they have carried on regardless even if he'd told them it was a terrible idea and he wanted nothing to do with it? It seemed so.

Joey rubbed his hands together gleefully and winked at JC. "This is going to be great!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Everyone had left, including Justin.

The apartment was quiet and dark, with only the light from underneath Clare’s door suggesting that she was awake. Libby hesitated in the doorway, sucking in a deep breath before tapping her knuckles gently against the wood.

The apartment had emptied pretty quickly after the showdown between JC and Clare. It hadn’t taken Lisa long to make her apologies and head out in search of Joey, and in the meantime Clare had slipped unnoticed into her bedroom.

Libby had kicked a protesting Justin out of the apartment—to much pouting and puppy–dog eyes—but she’d been adamant that her and Clare needed privacy to talk about what’d happened. Libby knew that Clare wouldn’t want to talk if JC’s band mate was hovering around outside.

“Clare, can I come in?” Libby asked tentatively as she rapped once again on the door.

No answer.

“Clare?”

Again, no answer.

Libby tried the handle, and finding the door unlocked she gently pushed it open and peered into the room. From the doorway she could see that Clare was lying in the middle of her bed on her side, facing towards the window with her back to the door. She was curled up into a tight foetal position, and although she was silent, Libby could see that her body was trembling and shaking with sobs.

“Clare?”

Libby stepped into the bedroom and glanced around. It’d been a while since she’d been in Clare’s room, and it seemed familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time. It took her a moment to realise why, and then her heart sank.

The trinkets, memory boxes and photo frames that were usually scattered across almost every surface were gone. The huge *NSYNC poster that Clare kept above her bed was torn, crumpled and shoved into the garbage can near the door.

The photo Clare had of her and all the members of the group was nowhere to be seen, but most importantly, every single little thing that she’d ever been given by JC was in a heap at the bottom of her bed. Ticket stubs from the times they’d gone to the cinema, Valentine and Christmas cards, jewellery. Even the white polar bear teddy that he’d once bought her as a birthday present. There were even things in the pile that Libby hadn’t seen before. Clare had meticulously searched through her entire room and removed every trace she could of JC, and the other members of the group.

Libby felt her stomach tighten. This was bad. Very bad.

“Clare?”

“You should be resting,” Clare said, her voice thickened by her tears.

Libby carefully made her way across the room and climbed onto the bed beside her friend. She shuffled closer and reached out to pull Clare into a hug. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable position, but Libby hoped that her presence alone would be enough to show how much she cared, especially as she wasn’t sure what to say.

It was at least five minutes before either of them spoke.

“You’re quitting?” Libby asked.

Clare sucked in a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Libby pondered the implications of Clare’s answer for a moment. She was trying to push aside her feelings and put herself in Clare’s position, but she couldn’t overlook the fact that Clare had made this huge decision without even mentioning it to her. It seemed so out of character, and although Libby realised that Clare had most likely been secretive to protect her, it still made her feel sad. They used to tell each other everything. When had that changed?

Libby thought about JC and Clare’s argument, trying to make sense of what she’d heard. She understood Clare’s point of view, but she couldn’t align herself with JC’s reaction. Why was he so angry and upset? What was his excuse for shouting at Clare that way? And what had he meant when he’d said that what he had to say ‘changes everything’?

Libby had a good mind to grill Justin on it when she saw him next. Surely he knew more than he was letting on?

“When are you leaving?” she asked, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. Libby couldn’t imagine Clare not being at the Compound. It was their place. Clare was such a part of the furniture there that it wouldn’t be the same without her. Would she want to continue working there herself if Clare was gone? Surely part of the fun of working there was the having the chance to work with her best friend? Sometimes it was Clare’s company alone that made the job seem worthwhile; especially when the group were out on tour.

“Soon. I’d leave today if I could. Especially now.”

“What’s gotten into him?” Libby wondered aloud. “I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“You’ve just witnessed the real JC, that’s all,” Clare sneered bitterly.

Libby let Clare’s words linger for a moment before saying, gently, “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

Clare turned her head and narrowed her eyes at Libby over her shoulder. “You were there. You heard him. What do you think?”

Libby figured that it was probably best not to say what she really thought. “I just don’t understand why he’d behave that way if—“

“If what?”

“Well… if he’s just upset about you leaving then it seems to be a crazy overreaction for a start. Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?”

“He’s just upset that he hasn’t gotten his own way, that’s all. He wants me to sit there and listen to him unburden his conscience, but there’s no way in hell that I’m going to let that happen.”

“What do you mean ‘unburden his conscience’?”

Clare let out a frustrated huff. “He probably wants to tell me that he’s always wanted kids, and that Alyson was the person he wanted to have children with. That it’s no offence to me, but that’s just the way things go.”

Libby hesitated. Clare’s explanation didn’t sit with her at all. She had a feeling that there was much more to it than that, and that Clare’s stubborn nature was preventing her from seeing it.

“But what about the ‘changes everything’ part?” she asked.

“Those are just words. He’ll say whatever he can to get his own way.”

Libby frowned. She knew Clare was upset—understandably so—but what she’d said about JC wasn’t true. He was the last person who would manipulate others just to get his own way. Clearly Clare’s hurt and pain was blocking off the logical part of her brain. It was clear to Libby at that moment that it was up to her to get to the bottom of things, and she knew exactly who she needed to interrogate to get to the truth…

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare stood in her office two days later packing up the last of her things, repeating to herself over and over again that she was doing the right thing. Although she'd handed in her resignation to Johnny Wright a few days ago, she still hadn't heard anything back from him, which she found a little strange. She’d assumed that he was simply bogged under—like they all were—with last minute preparations for the tour, and so she’d carried on with her plans to leave regardless.

"So today's the day you ship out and leave us high and dry, is it?" Jamie asked with a sad smile as she walked into Clare's empty office. Jamie’s eyes scanned the room for the possessions that she’d become accustomed to seeing in Clare’s office—her photo frames, personalised mug, and the little trinkets that her friends had given her over the years—but they were all neatly packed away.

Jamie let out a sigh, and crossed the room to peer into one of two cardboard boxes on Clare's desk. She reached inside and picked up the nearest framed photograph.

"Do you remember when this was taken?" she asked with a chuckle as she held the frame up for Clare to see.

"Yeah," Clare said fondly before letting out a snigger of amusement. "That was when Chris decided to find out if I could swim.”

"Which you couldn't," Jamie said. "If I remember rightly, when he saw you struggling in the water he just kept laughing."

"That's right. He couldn't stop."

"Wasn't it JC that jumped into the pool to save you?"

Clare hesitated. "Yeah."

Jamie placed the photo frame back into the box. "And Libby took the photo to preserve the memory?"

"I case I forgot my near death experience, yeah," Clare quipped dryly. "Do you remember the guys all chipped in for me to take swimming lessons after that?"

Jamie nodded, but her laughter abruptly faded. She stared at Clare debating whether to say what she was really thinking. In the end she just couldn't help herself.

"Are you making a mistake?" Jamie asked gently. It wasn’t an accusation, and she wasn’t begging, but she had to ask.

"Jamie..."

"What?"

"Don't, please," Clare said as she lifted one of the boxes and supported it against her hip. She turned to look at Jamie, her eyes glistening with tears. "I can't..."

"I've tried to be good and respect your wishes," Jamie said as she crossed the room and reached out to place a hand on Clare's shoulder. "I've tried to bite my tongue and not say anything, but I can't do it anymore."

Clare let out a defeated sigh and hung her head. She’d been expecting that someone would try to have this conversation with her at one point, and so she let Jamie continue uninterrupted.

"I just don't want to regret not asking you one more time. Isn't there a little voice inside of you that's telling you you're making a big mistake?"

Clare paused and glanced around the room. There were so many memories tied up in the building that she couldn’t deny that it gave her pause to wonder. They were a jumble of good and bad memories, but still ones that she would never forget, or at least hoped that she never would.

She'd had a chance to live her dream. She'd had a taste of what it was like on the 'other side', and she'd relished the opportunities that she'd been given along the way. But it was over now. The time had come to pay the bill, and it was a bittersweet feeling.

"Maybe," she said, "maybe one day I'll look back and wish that I'd fought harder, but I'm so tired, Jamie. I can't keep putting myself through this. I promise nothing will change. We'll still hang out and see each other all the time. Only I'll be—“

"Detached?"

"I was going to say happy.”

Jamie shrugged and Clare could tell that she wasn’t convinced. "But how will you know?” she asked. “What if you realise that you've made a mistake, and by then it's too late?"

"Then I'll suck it up and move on. That's what grown–ups do, right?"

"I guess. Although I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Me, too," Clare said with a nod of her head. She glanced around the room once again, her eyes finally settling on her empty desk. How many hours had she spent behind that thing, and now she was just walking away? What about all the work she’d done? All the stress she’d taken on? All those late nights and early mornings? What had it all been for? The room seemed so much bigger without all of her clutter messing up the place.

"Me, too,” she said again.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I'm so bored!" Libby complained loudly as she thumped her fisted up hands down onto her bedspread. She'd been lying in bed all day, and even though Lisa had come over to give her some company, she was still feeling restless. "I have to spend all day in bed? What kind of crazy idea is that?"

Lisa grinned and glanced up from where she was sitting cross legged on the end of Libby's bed. She had one hand held out in front of her and the other clutching the brush from a bottle of bright red nail varnish.

"That's why it's called bed rest," Lisa said, "you're supposed to be letting your body heal."

"Oh, please," Libby scoffed. "My body has had six weeks to heal. I want to do something!"

Feeling rebellious, Libby lifted the corner of her duvet and slipped her legs out from underneath the covers. Her limbs still felt like quivering jelly, and it took quite a bit more concentration for her to move than it once had, but Libby could tell that she was growing stronger each day. She was gradually growing further and further away from the thin, weak person she’d been after waking from the coma.

It wasn’t just the extra sleep and good food that was having an effect on her either; mentally she felt better too.

"Oh, no, no, no!" Lisa chided as she noticed that Libby was intending to get out of bed. She held her hands out in front of her in protest, but thanks to her wet nails she was pretty helpless to stop Libby from doing anything. Desperately and in a stern voice she said, "get back in bed young lady!"

"Come on, Lisa! I'm so bored!" Libby said as she sank her toes into the plushy carpet beneath her feet. She turned and flashed Lisa a smug grin as she shifted her weight forward and prepared to stand.

"I’m under strict instructions to make sure you rest," Lisa objected. She didn't want to face Clare's wrath if she found out that Libby had been up and out of bed. Not after she'd insisted that Libby remain in her room no matter what. "Come on, Libs, you're going to get me in trouble."

Libby giggled as she lifted herself up off the bed and stood for a moment, wobbling slightly as she tried to hold her balance. Her legs were weak, but she was able to stand completely unassisted now. They might only be baby steps, but to Libby they were a monumental stride forward. "I'm not going to go off and run a marathon, Lisa," Libby teased as she glanced at Lisa's panicked face. "I just want to get out of this room. I'm going crazy staring at the same four walls."

Lisa watched in concern as Libby took a few tentative steps forward. "I promised Clare that I would make sure you stayed in bed—like you're supposed to. Do you want Clare and Justin to come after me?"

"Calm down! I'm just going to go and sit in the living room for a while. I'll still be resting. Besides, I'll deal with Clare and Justin; they know how stubborn I am, they'll understand that it wasn't your fault."

Libby turned around and grinned at Lisa as she reached the doorway. She could feel how much her reserves of energy had been drained by that small amount of effort, and she realised that walking to the living room would be pretty much all that she could manage. For now, at least.

"Hmm... I hope so," Lisa said dubiously as she stood and offered her shoulder for Libby to lean on. She supported her friend’s weight, and they giggled mischievously as they slowly made their way out of Libby's room and along the hallway.

"You're a bad influence on me, Elizabeth," Lisa chuckled.

"Pffft," Libby scoffed. "Hardly."

They made their way into the living room and settled comfortably onto the couches. Once seated, Lisa gave Libby a knowing smirk and raised an eyebrow.

"So Libs..."

"Yeah?" Libby said, her suspicions rising.

“How are things with you and Justin?"

Libby laughed and threw her hands up in the air. "I knew it! I knew that was coming!"

"What?" Lisa asked, feigning ignorance. "It's just a question."

"It's the most loaded question ever!"

“Why?” Lisa asked with a giggle. “Two of my friends have just got together, why wouldn’t I ask how things are going?”

“’Cause… ‘cause… it’s me and Justin.”

“Yeah?”

Libby blushed. “And…”

“And what, Libs? You don’t wanna talk about it?”

“No, it’s just…” Justin’s face flashed into her mind and she blushed deeper. “It feels weird talking about it. Like I’m not supposed to.”

Lisa laughed and rolled her eyes. “That’s what years of suppressed feelings do to you,” she said. “If you two had gotten your act together ages ago you wouldn’t feel like you can’t talk about it. You’ve spent so long trying not to talk about him that it now feels strange that you can.”

Libby said nothing, but hid her face behind a sofa cushion. A suppressed giggle made its way out of her mouth, and she beamed from ear to ear.

“He’s great,” she said in a whisper.

Lisa shook her head in amusement at the giddy expression on Libby’s face. “Yeah?”

Libby nodded shyly. “Yeah.” She took a deep breath and said, barely audibly, “he loves me.”

Lisa’s grin broadened, and she laughed as Libby ducked her head back into the cushion and giggled again.

“He certainly does,” Lisa said with a smile. “It’s kinda sickening actually.”

“Hey!” Libby argued as she lifted the pillow and tossed it across the room at Lisa’s head. It missed by a mile.

“Ignore me,” Lisa said as she waved a hand dismissively. “I’m only jealous. It’s been a long time since Joe’s looked at me the way Justin looks at you. Just make sure you make the most of the honeymoon period while it lasts. ‘Cause believe me, it doesn’t last long.”

Libby blushed again and wished that she hadn’t thrown her cushion away. She needed it to hide her cheeks once again. “I dunno, Justin’s a pretty romantic guy…”

“Oh, yeah?” Lisa asked with a smirk. “Is he now?”

Libby tried to fight it but an unstoppable grin spread across her face. “He bought me roses yesterday, and then said that he needed a kiss for every petal."

Lisa sniggered at the dreamy look that crossed Libby's face. "What a cheese–ball."

"He's not!" Libby said, feeling the need to defend Justin. "He's sweet, lovely and he cares about me."

"Sounds like he just wants lots of kisses," Lisa teased.

"Believe me, he's gonna get 'em. It's keeping my hands off him that's the problem."

"So you're happy?" Lisa asked.

"So happy," Libby replied honestly, and at once the grin was back. "I never thought I'd get to be this happy. I never thought he'd actually like me back."

Lisa flashed her an indulgent smile and rolled her eyes once again. "Oh, Libby, you do crack me up."

~~~~~*~~~~~

“Hey.”

“Hey, sweetie,” Justin said over the muffled reception on his phone. For some reason he’d been getting a bad signal lately, and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He hoped he’d be able to sort it out before leaving on tour or else he’d have a problem on his hands. “What you doin’?”

“Same ol’ nothing,” Libby muttered as she scowled at the ceiling. “Lisa just left so I’m home alone.”

“I’ll be over later. Got some stuff to finish up first and then I’ll be around.”

“Good, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

Libby heard him hesitate, and when he spoke his voice sounded off. “Yeah?”

“Not about us,” Libby said with a chuckle, and she heard him let out a small sigh of relief which made her smile. “About Clare… and JC.”

“And you wanna do this over the phone?”

“No, that’s why I was wondering when you’ll be over. I was hoping we could go somewhere to talk about it.”

“’Go somewhere to talk about it’,” he repeated. “Go somewhere?”

“Well, yeah,” Libby said. “We can’t talk about it here ‘cause Clare will be home soon.”

“But…”

“Don’t even say what you’re thinking of saying,” Libby warned him. “I’m supposed to be building up my stamina.”

“Yeah, slowly.”

“Going to the beach counts as slowly. It’s only a few minutes’ walk away.”

“That sounds like a really bad idea, Libs.”

“Really? The idea of going to watch the sunset with me is a bad idea, is it?”

“That’s not what I mean. I’m happy to drive us to the beach to watch the sunset, and then drive you home.”

Libby considered his suggestion. It did sound slightly more practical. “Hmm, okay. That might work.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Okay, pick me up when you’re done?”

“You got it, babe.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

"What are you doing out of bed?" Clare said moodily as she walked into the apartment to find Libby sitting on the couch in the living room.

"I got bored," Libby replied, shrugging nonchalantly. “Besides, J’s coming to pick me up soon.”

"’Pick me up?’” Clare repeated as she narrowed her eyes. “Libby…” She was supposed to be resting and she bloody well knew it. As did Justin.

What?" Libby asked, dropping her hands noisily into her lap. "Why can’t I go out?”

"Because the only reason you were allowed to come home was because you promised to take it easy! You’re supposed to be confined to your room, not going places with Justin!”

"Come on, Clare. I only have a week left to spend time with him before he leaves on tour. Would you wanna be confined to your room?"

"Eurgh, I’m too tired to argue with you…" Clare groaned, sinking into the closet chair across from Libby and placing a hand over her eyes.

Libby watched her for a moment before asking, tentatively, “How did today go?”

Despite several conversations where she’d tried to convince Clare to change her mind about leaving, Libby had been unable to make any progress. And now the time had run out and Clare’s last day at the Compound had come and gone.

"Pretty rough," Clare admitted with a sigh. "A lot harder than I thought, actually."

"Did you see anyone to say good–bye?"

Clare removed her hand and met Libby’s eyes. She knew exactly the question that Libby was skirting around. "Jamie and Sara popped by,” she said, “but if you mean the guys, then no."

"That's weird. I would've thought they'd make at least one more attempt to get you to stay. Especially Chris."

"Yeah, so did I actually.”

"Maybe they're maturing?" Libby said with a snigger. Considering the group behaved like a bunch of kids most of the time, the idea was pretty amusing.

"That'll be the day," Clare remarked with an attempt at a grin. "I think we'll be waiting a long time for that, I'm afraid."

Libby laughed but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Don’t you think that’s a little weird though?” she asked. “I mean, given the fact you’re so close to the group? Isn’t it weird that none of them came to say bye. Not even Lance?”

It was a given fact that Lance was the most gentlemanly, sensitive member of the group. His pleasant nature and polite values meant he found it very hard not to do the right thing, or at least what was expected by society.

Clare shrugged but Libby could tell that she was more upset than she was letting on. “I guess they were busy?”

No excuse, Libby thought to herself. She would definitely be talking to Justin about this…

“So what are your plans now?” Libby asked trying her best to keep her voice upbeat. There would be serious consequences for the pair of them if Clare remained unemployed for long. Even with Libby on paid sick leave from work, the two women were reliant on Clare’s income to be able to keep on top of their bills, and remain in their apartment. Clare quitting her job put pressure on both of their shoulders.

Clare let out a deep sigh and met Libby’s eyes. Libby could see the tension written all over her friend’s face and she wondered if making plans with Justin had been a mistake. Clare probably had a lot that she needed to get off her chest, and Libby wondered if she should stay at home so that Clare had someone to talk to.  

“More interviews,” Clare said, her voice empty of enthusiasm. She’d already attended three interviews in the local area—nothing specific, just any work that was available until she could work out her next career move—but she’d yet to hear anything back. With the amount of people living and working in and around Orlando, it was usual to expect a call back the same day if a job offer was imminent. Clare was trying her best not to let it knock her confidence.

Libby nodded. “You’ll find something,” she said confidently.

Clare raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Her look said it all. Don’t count on it.

“Did you hear back from Johnny at all?” Libby asked, remembering Clare’s earlier mention that she still hadn’t received a copy of her pink slip. Johnny was such an organised boss that the fact that Clare had heard nothing from him was strange. It also threw a spanner in the works of Clare’s plans—she couldn’t officially take employment elsewhere until she’d tied up all the loose ends with the label.

“Nope. Still nothing.”

“That’s really weird,” Libby muttered as she heard the sound of footsteps approaching the front door. “That’ll be J,” she said at exactly the same moment the doorbell rang. Libby lifted herself out of her seat and tried to keep the giddy grin off her face. It didn’t seem appropriate to be grinning like a goof while Clare was going through such a hard time.

“Where are the two of you goin’?” Clare asked as she watched Libby make her way to the front door. There was no point in trying to convince her to stay home, Clare decided, but she’d have Justin’s head if anything happened to her whilst she was out.

Libby glanced over her shoulder at Clare as she opened the door. “Beach,” she said simply and turned to grin at Justin.

“Hey,” he said as he stepped into the apartment. He quickly gripped Libby around the waist and lifted her off her feet before crushing his mouth to hers. Libby squealed and giggled until he put her down.

Justin’s eyes left Libby momentarily to glance into the living room, where Libby’s attention seemed to be divided between him and something, or someone, else. He grinned bashfully as he noticed Clare sitting in the easy chair trying her best to remain inconspicuous.

“Sorry, Gid,” he said. “Didn’t see you there.”

Clare rolled her eyes. “No need to apologise,” she said, “You guys just forget I’m here.” She let out a huff and said, under her breath, “should be easy enough.”

Justin turned to Libby and shrugged. Although he knew he probably should make more effort, he decided to cut his losses and not ask. He hadn’t forgotten the promise he’d just made to Joey, after all…

“You ready to go?” He asked Libby as he reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. Although it could only have been a maximum of fifteen hours since he’d seen her last, to Justin it’d felt a lot longer.

“I certainly am,” she said, beaming at him. “I can’t wait to get out of here!”

“You’ve got a coat?” he asked as he gave her a quick once over. It might well be the last week in July, but down at the beach there could often be a slight chill felt off the water. He wasn’t about to let Libby get cold any time soon. Justin felt it his duty to make sure that she were sensible about her limitations, even if it didn’t always make him Mr. Popular.

“Coat?” Libby scoffed as she took a step towards the door and tugged on his hand to get him to follow.

“Libby!” Both Justin and Clare rebuked at the same time causing Libby to roll her eyes and Justin and Clare to flash each other a knowing, amused smirk. Finally, something they did agree on.

“Fine! I’ll get a coat, sheesh!” Libby complained with a huff as she stomped up the hallway towards her room to find a warm layer to wear. She really hated it when Justin and Clare ganged up on her, but she figured that she’d probably have to get used to it.

There was an awkward silence as Justin waited for Libby to return, and Clare tried to find something to say that had nothing to do with work, JC, *NSYNC or anything else contentious. Eventually, it was Justin who broke the ice.

“How did it go today?”

Clare met his eyes and chewed down on her bottom lip to stop herself from showing how hurt she really was that none of the group had come to see her off. She’d been working there for almost two years, for goodness sakes. She’d thought that they were her friends. Of course she hadn’t expected JC to show his face—he would’ve known better—but none of the others? Not even Justin? Couldn’t he have shown his face just to offer her a bit of support or a friendly face on behalf of the group?

It had hurt.

A lot.

“Fine,” Clare lied, turning her head away and blinking rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes. Fortunately, before Justin had a chance to say anything else, Libby was back.

“Will this do?” Libby asked sarcastically as she lifted her parka jacket up to his face so that he could examine it and give his seal of approval. Justin made a big show of checking the coat and finally grinned at her, reaching in to place a soft kiss against her lips.

“Fine,” he said, “but if not, I’ve got a spare hoodie in the car, just in case.”

Libby playfully scowled at him. Of course he has.

“You know, I think you’ve got a thing for me wearing your clothes,” she teased, and Justin snorted a laugh and winked.

“You got that right,” he said gruffly before reaching out to pinch her around the waist. Libby stifled a shriek and glanced over at Clare.

“Don’t wait up!” she grinned causing Clare to narrow her eyes.

“I will wait up, because you’ll only be gone an hour, right?”

Libby’s shoulders slumped, and she stuck out her bottom lip as Justin hovered awkwardly by her side. “Clare…”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Clare said, “right, Justin?” She turned and fixed him with her famous no–nonsense stare.

“Libby’s safe with me.”

“Again, not what I asked. You’ll be back in an hour, or—“

“Fine!” Libby said, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation before grasping Justin’s hand in hers once again and rushing towards the door. “We’ll be back in an hour. Spoil sport.”

“It’s for your own good! Have fun!” Clare called after them but she couldn’t tell if they’d heard before the door closed behind them.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Are you cold?" Justin asked Libby as he turned to her for what felt like the hundredth time and eyed the goose pimples that were forming on her arms and bare shoulders. They were sitting on the sand watching the sun set, but Justin couldn't get out of nurse mode.

"Nope," Libby assured him again.

"Are you sure? 'Cause we can go if—"

"J," Libby said, turning her eyes away from the dazzling display of nature to look at him. The pink light washed over the side of his face, and she could see shades of coral and amber reflected in his eyes. "Stop worrying, I'm fine!"

Justin nodded and was silent for a few minutes as Libby turned back to watch the sunset. He wriggled around on the sand to get comfortable before glancing at her once again. "Are you sure? 'Cause like I said, I could go and get a blanket from the car... or you could put on the coat?" He lifted the parka from where it was lying next to them on the sand and waved it at her encouragingly.

Libby tried her best not to roll her eyes. She knew that she should expect such protective behaviour from him after what had happened, but she hated the feeling of being wrapping in cotton wool by him. Or anyone, for that matter.

"J..." she said again, "I'm okay, honestly."

"But you'd tell me if you weren't, wouldn't you?"

Libby smiled fondly at him. "Yes, of course I would." She reached out and took one of his hands in hers before giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to worry about me, okay? I'm not going to break… or turn into an iceberg."

“I know, I just…”

Libby watched the expression change on his face and her smile faded. She hated that look, and she felt momentarily bad for teasing him when he was so obviously trying to take care of her. “What?” she asked him gently. “What’s wrong, Justin?”

Justin. He’d become so used to her calling him ‘J’ that her use of his real name seemed odd. Like when he’d been in trouble as a child and his mom had used his full name to reprimand him. There was something serious about Libby calling him Justin.

He turned and met her eyes before reaching out a hand to cup her cheek. Libby’s worried face softened and her eyes closed momentarily at the feel of his warm palm against her skin.

Justin sucked in a deep breath and let it out in an elongated sigh. “I dunno…” he said, “I guess I just don’t wanna make the same mistakes I’ve made before.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a minute to gather his thoughts before he answered. “I could’ve done a lot more to keep you safe before. I should’ve told Clare about you taking climbing lessons—she’s made that pretty clear. I should’ve made sure that you didn’t go to collect your results alone. I should’ve checked in on you straight after your arrival at the Compound, instead of leaving it several hours. I should’ve called you that night to check on you and not waited until the morning.”

“J…” Libby mumbled, but Justin wasn’t finished. His eyes flicked down to their linked fingers and his thumb started making patterns across her skin.

“Nah, I’m serious. I can’t seem to stop going over all the things I should’ve done to keep you safe.”

“But it wasn’t your responsibility to keep me safe,” she said. “Those things you say you should’ve done? Who’s to say any of those things would’ve made a difference in the long run? Maybe this was meant to happen this way.”

Justin’s brow furrowed.

“I mean it,” Libby said as she read his expression. “Yes, we can all look back and see the things we should’ve done differently—no one more so than me—but here we are. It happened…”

Justin opened his mouth to interrupt, but Libby silenced him with a look.

“But then we happened,” she said softly, reaching out with her spare hand to stroke his chin affectionately. At her touch, Justin’s eyes brightened, and the spark that had become hidden behind the clouds of his guilt reappeared. “I am so happy that we are here now. It’s so easy to forget all the bad things that have happened when I’m with you.”

“Really?” he asked, a hint of doubt evident in his voice. He wasn’t finding it easy to put it all behind him, even though he was trying really hard. He didn’t want to live in the past either, but the wounds were still so fresh. Perhaps it was because of the tour looming in the distance, or the fact that he still couldn’t quite believe his luck, but either way his stomach was in knots over Libby, and it wasn’t just new relationship nerves.

“Okay, so sometimes it’s kinda terrifying to think about what happened…” Libby said, her voice breaking slightly as she allowed herself a moment to look back over the past few weeks. She blinked away the tears that had automatically filled her eyes, and tried not to make eye contact with Justin. She couldn’t bear to see the inevitable look of torture that appeared on his face whenever her ‘everything is fine’ veneer broke. “…but I have so much to be thankful for. Yes, it was a terrible time, but that’s all behind me now. Behind us now. Don’t let the past ruin our beautiful future, baby.”

Justin stared at her, his blue eyes wide and searching, then he reached forward and kissed her. It was a kiss right out of a movie; the type that set your heart racing and your legs to jelly. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against hers and said, in a soft voice, “I love you.”

Libby beamed. “I love you, too.” She giggled suddenly as she remembered back to her real reason for wanting to go to the beach with him. Other than to lie in his arms and watch the sunset, that is. “But I’m kinda mad at you, too…” she said, pretending to be annoyed.

Justin sat back and stared at her with the expression she knew meant that he was trying to decipher whether she was serious or not. She was, only a little, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.  

“Why?”

Libby considered making him try to guess, but it seemed a little mean.

“Because it was Clare’s last day today, and you didn’t stop by to see her. And by ‘you’ I mean any of you.”

Justin cleared his throat and avoided her eyes for a millisecond. Anyone else might have missed the significance of this action, but not Libby. She searched his face with her eyes and when he accidentally made eye contact, she narrowed hers.

“You’re up to something!” she announced suspiciously, and when his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened in surprise, she knew for sure. “Justin, you’re up to something! What is it?”

“I haven’t said anything!” he said in a slightly higher voice than usual. A classic giveaway.

“What have you done?”

“Nothin’!” he squeaked.

“You’re totally up to something; it’s written all over your face. What is it?”

Justin regarded her for a moment, and then finally he let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped. “Fine,” he said, letting out a huff. “I guess you’d find out eventually anyway.”

“Find out what?”

Justin shuffled around on the sand to get comfortable before reaching out and tossing an arm around her shoulders. He pulled her gently against him, and she nestled into his embrace. It would be a long story, and they might as well be comfortable while he told it.

“No matter what, you are not to say anything, understood?”

Libby hesitated. She’d rather not make any promises until she knew more.

“And I mean anything,” Justin repeated. “They’d have my head if it got out, and I’m not even joking. There’s a lot resting on this.”

“Is it safe for me to promise something like that?” Libby asked warily. She met his eyes and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth.

“Yeah, baby,” Justin said flashing her a brief grin. “I’ve got you, it’s fine.”

“Okay then, tell me.”

“You haven’t promised…”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t have noticed,” Libby giggled.

“I did,” Justin chuckled and raised his eyebrow, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “So you promise?”

“Yes, okay. Now tell me…”

~~~~~*~~~~~

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby sat on her bed in her pyjama bottoms and tank top trying to figure out a new look for the *NSYNC website. She was bored with the old site and was determined to come up with at least one new idea before she went to bed.

"Are you still tapping away at that damn laptop?" Clare asked moodily as she walked past Libby's open door as she headed towards the bathroom and peered in to say good–night.

"Wow, role reversal!" Libby sniggered as she smiled over at her friend. "It's usually you on your laptop until the early hours of the morning."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one who's supposed to be resting, remember?" Clare said pointedly, drawing an exasperated sigh from Libby who let her head flop back dramatically as she rolled her eyes.

"Eurgh! If I had a dollar for every time someone used the word 'resting' around me, I'd—"

"Those were the conditions for your discharge from the hospital, Lib," Clare reminded her firmly. She was irritated that Libby seemed to be taking such a laid–back attitude to her illness. She certainly hadn't forgotten how unwell her friend had been.

"God, how many times do I have to say it? I'm fine!" Libby yelled in frustration as Clare wandered into her room and came to sit on the end of her bed. Despite her frustrations, Clare couldn't help but smirk at the look on Libby's face. She’d never had liked being told what to do.

"What are you doing, anyways?" Clare asked as she pulled the laptop closer to her and spun it around so that she could look at the screen.

"The new *NSYNC website," Libby explained. "I'm bored with this look so God knows the fans must be!"

"And what've ya' come up with so far?" Clare asked as she peered at the screen. She raised an eyebrow and glanced up at Libby in confusion, "It looks exactly the same to me."

"That's because it is the same!" Libby laughed. "I haven't actually done anything to it yet."

Clare smiled and allowed her friend a chance to laugh at her expense. It was nice to hear the sound once again after such a long time without it. As Libby's laughter dissipated, Clare smiled fondly at her friend. "So you got any plans for tomorrow?"

Libby let out a sigh and shrugged. "Dunno. I'm guessing I'll be seeing J at some point to say bye. Other than that, nothing."

Clare searched her friend's eyes, remembering that the next day was the scheduled day for the members of *NSYNC—plus Lisa, Sara and Jamie—to leave on tour. She hadn't really discussed it with Libby—which is why it had been so easy for her to overlook the fact. Clare was surprised to find that Libby hadn't made a bigger deal about Justin leaving. Perhaps she just doesn't want to think about it, she wondered.

"Are you okay about him leaving?" she asked tentatively.

Libby sighed. "I'll miss him, but it's bound to happen at some point. I'll still be here when he gets back, and the separation may be good for us. Besides it gives me a chance to miss him, not the other way around!” Libby giggled and glanced at Clare who gave her a knowing look. Clare wasn’t buying it at all. There was no way that the Libby she knew would be so blasé about Justin leaving for three months.

"Yes, okay. I know what you're thinking,” Libby said with a sigh. “I hate the fact that he's leaving, but there's a lot I have to be grateful for. At least I didn't wake up from the coma with him on the other side of the world. We've had these few weeks together which have been wonderful." Libby smiled coyly and tilted her head to one side to look at Clare. “He’s pretty incredible,” she gushed.

Clare smirked and rolled her eyes. “So you keep saying. So if you don’t have any plans, shall we go out for lunch somewhere tomorrow? Once they've gone, I mean. It might help to take your mind off it?"

Libby turned her head and tried not to smirk. Clare really had no idea, and Libby was pretty impressed by that fact. Those men really could work wonders when they put their heads together. “Yeah, that sounds nice,” she said as she turned back to Clare, her poker face fully in place. “We haven't done that in a while."

"You have to promise me you'll eat, though,” Clare said, “I'm not taking you out and wasting my money on food you won't eat."

Only Justin and Clare were aware that Libby hadn't been eating well since coming out of the hospital. She kept saying that she didn't have an appetite, and although she was trying not to freak out unnecessarily, it was beginning to concern Clare. She hated seeing Libby pick at her food, and especially the way her clothes were still hanging off her thin frame. Libby had lost quite a bit of weight during her stay in the hospital, and now that she was home she was meant to be attempting to slowly put some of it back on. Clare wasn’t sure how she’d manage that with the way she was only nibbling at her food.

"Yes! Jeez, I feel like I'm at home with mom again!” Libby snapped, surprising Clare with the sudden change in her tone. “I'm not about to die, you know.”

Feeling defensive, Clare folded her arms across her chest and frowned. She didn't mean to be overprotective, but she was trying her best to adapt to having Libby back home again after her having being gone for so long.

Clare’d become so used to the hospital staff taking care of Libby’s every need that she felt lots of responsibility in taking over as main caregiver. She was doing her best not to take the role too seriously, but she felt that it would take awhile before she could stop worrying, or trying to protect Libby from what she considered to be harmful.

"You might not now,” she said in as calm a tone as she could manage, “but it wasn't too long ago that we thought you were, so you might want to lay off a bit.”

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Clare felt Libby’s arms wrap around her and squeeze her affectionately.

“I'm sorry," Libby said into her ear. "I don't mean to snap, I just get so frustrated sometimes. I'm fed up of not being able to go straight back to my old life. I don't mean to take it out on you..."

Clare smiled and hugged her friend back. "I know, Lib," she said. "I know, and I’m trying not to be a menace. I just love you too much to risk losing you again.”

“I know, and I love you, too.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare was woken abruptly by the sound of someone pounding their fist on the front door. At first she tried to ignore it, but after it persisted for well over a polite amount of time she reluctantly threw on her robe and sleepily fumbled her way to the front door.

"What do you want?" Clare yelled through the closed door before making the decision whether to open the door or not. It was only 7.00 a.m., after all.

Receiving no answer, Clare opened the door a slither and peeped through, instantly uttering a groan as the five members of *NSYNC began to grin back at her.

"Oh, God, what?" she groaned as she opened the door wide enough to show her displeasure.

"Nice. We’ve come over here on this lovely morning to wake you up, and this is the welcome we get,” Chris chuckled as he shoved the door open wider with his foot and brushed past Clare.

"Why are you waking me up?" Clare muttered as the rest of the group traipsed into the apartment and quickly spread out, disappearing up the hallway and into various rooms. Clare eyed them suspiciously but was still too drowsy to do anything to stop them.  

"Is Lib up?" Justin asked as he gestured at Libby's closed bedroom door.

"Of course not!" Clare replied sarcastically as she narrowed her eyes at him. "It's seven a.m., why would anyone be awake at this time?"

"Okay, I'll go wake her."

"No, you won't!" Clare told him angrily as he reached out a hand and thumped loudly three times on Libby's bedroom door.

"She's sleeping!" Clare hissed as she made an attempt to pull Justin's hand away from the door by his sleeve. He ignored her and continued banging on the door. Unbeknownst to Clare, he was simply acting as the decoy so that Lance and JC could slip unseen into Clare's bedroom to pack a suitcase of her things.

Unable to sleep through the noise, Libby opened her door and stood in the doorway in her nightclothes—her hair sticking out in all directions—and stared at Justin through bleary eyes. She rubbed a balled up fist over her right eye and let out an enormous yawn. "Hmpf."

"Mornin' baby girl," Justin said cheerfully as he leaned forward to kiss Libby briefly on the lips. She attempted a smile and side–stepped to allow him access to her room. "You all packed?" he asked as he peered into her room for signs of her suitcase.

"Yeah, just got my stuff to collect from the bathroom," she said through another yawn.

"Okay, no problems. I'm on it."

"What the hell is going on?!" Clare exclaimed she glanced from Libby to Justin and back again. Justin shrugged and the characteristic smirk appeared on his face.

"You're comin' on tour with us," he said with a careless shrug. "You better get packin'."

"You have to be kidding," Clare snapped. "There's no way in hell, and Libby's certainly not going anywhere. She's only just come out of the hospital, remember?"

"What time is it?" Libby asked Clare as she watched Justin head along the hallway to the bathroom to collect her toiletries. He'd been right to suggest that she pack her clothes and personal effect the night before. There was no way she'd have a clear head at this this time in the morning to not forget something essential. It had been hard enough working out what to pack for a three–month long trip in the first place, let alone if it'd been sprung on her like it would be poor Clare. But she'd been sworn to secrecy just like the others, and had promised not to utter a word to Clare about 'the plan'.

"Ten past seven," Justin called from inside the bathroom. "You better get dressed, babe. We gotta leave for the airport soon."

"Don't worry, Libs," Clare said as she turned to Libby and placed what she thought was a reassuring hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "You don't have to go anywhere. Justin has clearly lost his mind."

"No, he hasn't," Chris said as he stuck his head out of the bathroom. Clare could see that in his arms he was holding her face wash, moisturising lotion and toothbrush. "You're coming too, Gid'."

"Put my stuff down!" Clare shouted. "What the hell is the matter with you? There's no way in hell I'm going anywhere with you lot."

"Yes, you are," JC muttered from down the hallway, and Clare shot her head around just in time to see him retreating into her bedroom. Her blood boiled at the thought of him being in her apartment uninvited, let alone in her bedroom. And she still hadn’t cleared up or done something with the funeral pyre she’d created of their ‘relationship’. No doubt it wouldn’t escape his attention that she’d tried to remove his presence completely from her life.

"Get out of there!" she shouted as she rushed down the hallway to haul him out of her room. She'd kick his ass if she had to.

Once inside her bedroom, Clare understood immediately that she'd been played. Clearly Justin had been distracting her the whole time so that Lance and JC—the most organised, neatest and quickest packers of the group—could gather her things and pack them into her travelling suitcase. She couldn't remember the last time she'd even used that case, but it seemed either Lance or JC—probably JC—had known where she kept it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Clare roared as she found Lance standing by her bed with armfuls of her underwear, and JC busily folding piles of blue jeans.

"Packing," Lance replied without even a hint of shame. He dumped his armful of bras and pants into the case and crossed the room towards Clare's dresser to get more.

"I think we already went over this," JC said calmly as he looked up to meet Clare's eyes for the first time since their argument. "You're coming with us on tour.”

"And I do believe I turned down the privilege," Clare sniped back as she headed over and elbowed him away from her case. She reached out and lifted an armful of clothes and placed them onto the bed.

"And I believe we don't accept 'no' for an answer!" Lance said as he brushed past her and calmly picked up the clothes she'd just removed and placed them back into the case.

"I don't care what you accept," Clare said angrily. "I'm not going anywhere. Especially with him," she shot daggers in JC's direction and aggressively jabbed her thumb at him. "Now put my stuff down, and get out of my room!"

Rising to her full height, Clare reached out and placed a hand on both of their chests, pushing them backwards towards her door. As soon as they were close enough, she reached for the door and slammed it closed in their amused faces. She pressed her body weight against the wood and braced herself in case they attempted to shove their way back inside.

"Chris!" Clare heard Lance call to his band mate as she rested her ear against the door. "Giddy's being difficult!"

There was the sound of muffled discussion and then the door burst open abruptly, almost sending Clare flying across the room.

"'I've been told you're not being a good girl," he said as he folded his arms across his chest and raised an amused eyebrow at her. Clare wanted to laugh at the expression on his face, but she understood that this was no laughing matter. If she wasn't careful she might well end up on tour with the group.

"You can forget this tour idea. I swear to God, it ain’t gonna happen," Clare said as she mirrored Chris’ stance and folded her arms across her chest. It was a standoff, but one that she was determined to win.

"Are you gonna get dressed and come quietly, or do I gotta dress you and drag you out to the car myself?" He asked, his dark eyes challenging her.

Clare snorted in amusement. "That's a stupid question seeing as I am not going anywhere," she retorted.

"There are no stupid questions," Chris replied, "just stupid people." He took a step towards her and let out a deep sigh before raising his eyes skyward, saying a silent prayer. "Okay, this isn't going to be pleasant for either of us, but seeing as you won't do it yourself... God help me." He reached forward a hand and in a swift movement tugged on the tassel of her robe.

"What are you doing?!" Clare shrieked as she clutched her robe to her body, covering her vital areas. She wasn't naked underneath—thank goodness—but she had no desire for Chris to see her in her nightwear, either. Plus, it was completely inappropriate of him to try to undress her. How would she face Jamie after this?

"I'm gettin' you dressed," Chris muttered with a roll of his eyes as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Despite his efforts to remain nonchalant, Clare could detect a hint of blush around his neck and ears. It took a lot to embarrass Chris, and at any other moment Clare would relish in her ability to have achieved this elusive status—but obviously not now.

"Get off!" she shrieked again as his hand once again reached for her.

"Sorry, Giddy, but you can't board an airplane in your jammies," he said. "It's against the rules."

"Stop!" Clare said as she slapped his hand away again. She retreated and watched with horror as he took a step towards her for every one she took back.

"I can't, sorry,” he said, sounding genuinely remorseful, “We’re behind schedule as it is.” Clare eyed his apologetic face and wondered for a moment why he’d been nominated for this particular task. He seemed to most unlikely person to volunteer to get her dressed. No doubt they drew lots, she thought irritably.

"My God, please stop," she told him as her hand made a loud crack against his as he reached for her again. "If I agree to get dressed—nothing more—will you stop trying to undress me?"

Chris let out a massive sigh of relief. "Yes, please,” he said, turning immediately and heading out the room. "But hurry," he said. "We've gotta be out of here in ten minutes, and there’ll be hell to pay from Jamie if we’re late."

Clare waited until he'd turned his back before pulling the nastiest, most childish face she could manage at his back. It wasn’t much of a payback, but it made her feel better for a moment, at least.

Once the door had clicked shut, she quickly slipped on a pair of jeans and a white belly top. Grabbing her brush from her nightstand, Clare ran it several times through her hair and instinctively glanced at herself in the mirror.

She looked like death.

Death warmed up.

She'd had a bad night's sleep, and her face was pale with obvious grey rings beneath her eyes. It wasn't a pretty sight, and she hated the fact that her emotional turmoil was so clearly written across her face. She'd aged several years in just a few months.

"If you're not out of there in five minutes, I'm coming in!" she heard Chris call to her through the door and she quickly realised that he was doing sentry duty outside.

Clare sucked in a deep, shaky breath as she tossed the brush onto her bed. Adrenaline started coursing through her veins and she eyed her escape routes. If the door was guarded then there was really only the window, but she wasn’t quite that desperate. Yet.

Maybe she could somehow distract Chris and sneak out the front door? But then there would doubtless be another four pairs of eyes keeping tabs on her. Five, if Libby was involved in the plan, which Clare realised now was probably the case.

She thought back to Libby’s underwhelmed reaction to Justin leaving the night before and a light bulb went off in her head. No wonder she wasn’t that upset, she thought wryly. Clare wanted to be upset with Libby for keeping something like this a secret from her, but there was no time. She had to come up with a plan of action before Chris came bursting back in, and time was already running out.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Hey, sweetie, wake up. We'll be leaving soon," Justin said as he crouched down next to the couch that Libby had collapsed onto. She'd made it to the lounge—which was pretty far, she thought—before falling asleep in the closest possible chair.

“Leave me alone. I’m tired,” she said through a loud yawn as she curled her body up into a tight ball and eyed him with half–open eyes. She was already regretting her involvement in the plan. When she’d agreed to be involved she'd overlooked the fact that it would involve an incredibly early start. She hoped that it’d be worth it.

"Ready or not, here I come!" Chris called loudly as he burst into Clare's bedroom without waiting for permission. Once inside he looked around, but the room was empty.

"Clare, I know you're in here. Come out, come out, wherever you are!" he sang as he began a search for her in the most obvious places—under the bed, behind the door, in the gap next to her dresser. After an unsuccessful few minutes of searching, he gave up and called for reinforcements. "JC, get your ass in here and help me find Giddy!" he shouted down the hallway.

Unlike Chris, JC found Clare’s hiding place almost straight away. He made a bee–line for Clare’s closet and smiled to himself as he moved aside some of the clothes on the rail to find her tucked at the very back, hiding from the both of them in the near darkness.

"Come on, out,” he ordered with a chuckle.

Clare shot daggers at him. "Has it still not sunk in?” she snapped, “I said no!"

JC shrugged and silently dragged her from the small, dark space.

"Yeah, we don't get that word," Chris sniggered as he picked up her suitcase and headed for the door.

"That doesn't surprise me,” Clare muttered, “'cause you don't know the meaning of most words!" She turned her head to scowl at JC and tried to pull her arm free of his grasp. She hated the smug grin that was plastered across his face, and the fact that he was touching her. No doubt he was up to his eyeballs in the groups’ attempt to get her to come on the tour with them, although why he would bother, she wasn’t sure. If he thought she’d been making things difficult for him before, then wait until he was stuck on a tour bus with her for hours on end. She’d bring a whole new meaning to the word misery.

Chris and JC exchanged a look, having a clear exchange without words. Clare scowled at them both, awaiting their next move. If she managed to loosen JC’s grip on her, then she’d make a run for it. It was unlikely that she’d be able to outrun either of them, but she’d damn well have a try.

Silently, Chris tossed Clare’s suitcase across the room at JC, and he released Clare to catch the case in mid–air. Before she could run, however, Chris jogged across the room, bent down and tossed Clare over his shoulder in one easy move. It took a second for her brain to catch up with what was happening.

"Next stop, England!" he cheered in victory as Clare’s face turned scarlet with embarrassment and anger. She pummelled her feet and fists against his chest and back but he simply laughed as he and JC casually made their way out of the room.

Clare’s ear–piercing scream filled the whole apartment. “Chrrrriiiiiisssss!”

~~~~~*~~~~~