YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 1

By:  Karen Truesdell

            Blindly her gaze fell upon the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.  Curled up against the pillowed back cushions of the sofa, her legs were tucked up beneath her.  The soft strains of a Christmas carol drifted around her.  It was his song.  It was the one he had written for her only a few short years before.  It was the one he always sang softly to her on Christmas Eve.  It was a sweet reminder of a time past.  It was a harsh reminder of the current time.

            She lowered her eyes to look at the few packages scattered beneath the tree.  Absently she counted them.  There were six packages there, six gifts wrapped, tagged and waiting to be opened in only a few short hours.  But, these six packages would not be opened on Christmas morning.  They were tagged with a name of someone who would not be there to open them.  She breathed a shaky sigh and willed back the salty tears that threatened to fall if she didn't compose herself quickly.

            Her hand skimmed along the back of the sofa.  The leather was soft, yet cold to her touch.  It hadn't always been that way.  As her eyes scanned the room, they stopped at the darkened fireplace across from her.  A sad chuckle escaped her lips as she remembered many the nights that he would come in, light a blazing fire, and together they would curl up on the sofa with her being cradled in his strong arms.  Without realizing it, she shook her head.  As far as she was concerned, the fireplace would stay forever dark and the sofa would remain a cold, harsh reminder of a much better day.

            Her mind's eye flashed a picture across her brain.  She blinked, trying to erase the vision.  It held fast.  Blue eyes bored into her as full lips brushed against her own.  She closed her eyes in an attempt to ward off the sight before her.  Tiredly, she leaned her head against the back of the sofa.  Almost instantly she fell into a fitful slumber.

            Softly the next Christmas carol began to play on the cd player.  Her subconscious instantly picked up on the strains of "Oh, Holy Night".  In the haze of sleep, she focused her attention on a different Christmas tree.  It was oddly familiar as she looked at it.  It was the tree she had decorated one year before.  Cheerful voices filled her dream as she wandered through the room.  Faces of friends, both his and hers, flashed before her.  She knew she was speaking to them, but she couldn't hear the conversation.  A pile of gifts lay beneath the tree.  She focused on them briefly. 

            "This has to be the best Christmas ever!" his familiar voice echoed in her head.  "I love you so much."

            In the dreamy fog, she felt herself smile.  She watched him as he moved closer to her and slowly lowered his head, lovingly placing a warm kiss on her slightly parted lips.  Her breath caught in her throat as she could feel his arms wrap around her.  He held her close and allowed himself the luxury of tasting her lips slowly, teasingly.

            In the next instant, she was kneeling next to the presents scattered on the floor.  Her eyes watched as he walked over to the fireplace and reached down inside the Christmas stocking marked with her name.  He pulled it from the mantle, stuck his hand down into it, and retrieved a black velvet box.  His eyes twinkled as he held it out to her.

            She raised a trembling hand to her mouth, hoping to hold back the cry of surprise that was welling up in her throat.  He urged her to take the box.  His long fingers were loosely wrapped around it, his hand extended in her direction. 

            "Go on!  Open it!" he chuckled as he moved the small gift closer to her.

            Her shaking fingers wrapped around it and she pulled it to her chest as she met his gaze.

            The scene changed abruptly.  The beautiful Christmas dream was quickly becoming a nightmare.  His eyes were steely and cold.  He held no gift out to her.  He only threw out accusatory sentences at her.  She heard his vehement words as he hurled them at her.  She felt lost.  He told her she would never understand him.  He asked what had happened to the girl who was always there for him.  He screamed at her for being so demanding.  He questioned what her motives were.  Why did she stay with him?  What did she want from him?  Was it all for the money and status?  Was she just a money hungry slut who cared only about the notoriety being with him could bring her?

            She opened her mouth to defend herself when he quickly raised an angry hand and told her to keep her thoughts to herself.  He made sure she knew there was nothing of importance she could say that he wanted to hear.  Then, without warning, he held out his hand.  Her eyes were wide with fear.

            "Give it to me!" he shouted at her.

            Helplessly she shook her head.

            "I said give it to me!  You are not keeping that!"

            Hot tears streaked down her face as her trembling right hand reached to her left hand and slowly removed the sparkling band from her ring finger.  Refusing to wait until she handed it to him, his hand snuck out, pulled the ring from her fingers and quickly stuffed it into the front pocket of his jeans.  Without another word, she watched as he stormed quickly to the front door and exited, leaving her alone and cold.  The sound of the door slamming shut instantly woke her from her sleep.

            Feeling somewhat disoriented, she sat upright and tiredly ran her hands over her face.  Again she looked at the gifts scattered beneath the tree.  Quietly she fought to swallow the lump that had mysteriously appeared in her throat.  She was lost inside her own home with no idea where to turn.

            Dejectedly he walked around his apartment.  Anger poured from his being.  He was seething.  The fury welled up within him until all he could think of was finding something - anything - to break.  His eyes searched the living room.  He shook his head.  There was nothing for him to throw.  There was nothing for him to break.  His possessions were all he had left now.  His world was crumbling beneath him and he was helpless to stop it.   The one thing that had mattered most to him was suddenly out of his reach; it was out of his life.

            Sadly he reached into the front pocket of his jeans.  The light reflected off of the diamonds in the ring brilliantly as he held it before his eyes.  He twisted it in his fingertips as he studied it.   He shook his head.  Without a thought, he tossed it aimlessly onto the coffee table in front of the sofa.  Turning his back, he headed to his bedroom. 

            Angrily he pushed the door open.  He stood in the doorway, looking around.  One thought came into his head - escape.  All he could think of was getting away from all that had happened.  His life was in turmoil, and being here with all the reminders of her was something he didn't think he could face.  There had to be someplace on the planet he could run to in order to get away from the memories that flooded his brain.  He didn't know where that place was, but he was sure he'd find it in a very short time.

            Almost as if the car had a mind of its own, he steered it into the long, winding driveway that led to the secluded house in the clump of Pine trees.  He pulled the car to a stop directly behind the house, keeping it well hidden from the road at the foot of the driveway.  He had forgotten how secluded, how alone this place was.  It was once his retreat from the public eye.  It was the only place he could go and find solitude in his hectic, chaotic life.  Now though, it was going to be his haven, his sanctuary.  This was the place that would allow him the privacy and time he needed to deal with the tremendous loss he felt.  His heart ached with the memory of her.  Slamming the gearshift into park, he drew a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to pull himself together.  A sardonic chuckle left his mouth at the thought.

            "Together?" he asked himself.  "Am I ever going to have it together again?" 

            He shook his head and removed his keys from the ignition.  Stepping into the cold winter air, he pulled the collar of his black leather jacket up around his neck.  A light snow was falling around him.  He walked slowly toward the front door of the cabin.  He fumbled in his pocket to find the keys, and easily slipped the key into the lock.  The rustic wooden door slid open and he stepped inside. 

            The room was dark, cold, and quiet.  He reached to the wall and flipped on a light switch, casting a warm glow about the entire room.  He smiled.  He felt the cold penetrate through his jacket and immediately headed toward the thermostat.  With the flip of a switch, he heard the sound of the furnace instantly start up.  He rubbed his cold hands together and blew on them.  Searching the room, his eyes fell on the darkened fireplace at the far end.  He nodded to himself. 

            Heading out the back door, he found the pile of firewood that had been neatly stacked during the warm summer months.  Straightening his jacket, he walked over, grabbed four rather large logs and hurriedly made his way back into the cabin.  Purposefully he made his way to the fireplace, set the logs in front of it and grabbed a handful of newspapers and kindling. 

            First he crumpled the newspapers and threw them into the grate inside the fireplace.  Then he strategically placed the pieces of kindling on top of the newspaper.  Carefully, he arranged three of the four logs on top of the kindling, leaving the fourth to rest on the hearth.  Patting his pockets, he realized he had no matches.  Standing, he checked the mantle and found two books of matches waiting to be put to good use.  He picked one up, pulled a matchstick from it, struck it and tossed it onto the waiting newspaper.  Instantly, a huge flame met his gaze.  He smiled as he watched the billows of smoke rise into the flue and go up the chimney.  Again, he rubbed his hands together in an effort to warm them.

            Stepping back, he admired the warm glow.  A sad smile covered his face.  He closed his eyes against the memory of the last time he had been here and built a similar fire.  She had been with him.  Many times they had cuddled together in front of the fire for long hours, sometimes talking, sometimes just enjoying being together. 

            The last time had been special.  It had only been two weeks before.  They had gone to the cabin to talk about wedding plans.  The evening had grown cold and he had offered to turn up the furnace.  She shook her head and had asked for a fire instead.  Gladly he built one.  She had laid the down comforter from their bed on the floor and lain down, watching him strike the match and set the fire ablaze.  When he turned to look at her, she crooked her finger at him, and he crawled over to her, smiling brightly.

            "I love being by the fireside." Her voice had been low and raspy.

            "I love being with you."  He had murmured next to her ear. 

            She had enveloped him in the embrace of her arms and they had made love all night in front of the fireplace.

            He shook his head and ran his hands tiredly over his face.  It all seemed so long ago.  A shiver raced through him.  He felt cold, but it was a coldness that had nothing to do with the weather.

            Having unloaded a sparse amount of groceries from the trunk of his car, and removing his suitcase, he settled down on the couch.  Thoughts raced through his mind.  Memories he wanted to forget surged forward, making him remember things he'd rather forget.  Pinching the bridge of his nose, he squeezed his eyes closed as he tried to force all coherent thoughts of her and what they had shared to the furthest recesses of his mind.  It wasn't easy, but for his own sanity, he knew he had to do it.  He had been in his retreat for only an hour, and already he was feeling the emptiness of being alone.  With his eyes still closed, he leaned back into the sofa and willed himself to sleep.

            Snow continued to fall at an increasing rate over the entire region.  In less than an hour, sidewalks and lawns were completely covered and the roadways were becoming slick and treacherous.  Irregardless, she managed to steer her car in the only direction she could think of.  There were things she needed to take care of.  There were possessions she needed to retrieve.  There were items that belonged to her that were in someone else's home.  She knew that if she didn't get them right away, she might not be able to get them at all.  So forward she forced herself to go.  She braved her way through the weather, mindless of the adversity of it. 

            How many times had she traveled this roadway?  How many times had she marveled at the simple beauty of the area?  How many times had she told him she loved escaping to his little hideaway with him?  Now, she was going there alone.  This time she was going to remove the pieces of her that he had carefully asked her to leave there.  This time, when she left, she would leave a piece of her heart.  It would be nothing tangible for him to see, but it would forever be a part of her that she would never have again.

            Suddenly she felt the car sliding.  She gasped as she attempted to pull it out of the slide.  Wildly her hands gripped the wheel and tried to turn the car into it.  Her foot pumped the brakes as her hands clenched the steering wheel even tighter.  Her eyes stayed focused on the road as she finally managed to pull the car back into her control.

            "Oh, my God!" she said breathlessly as she tried to regain her composure.

            For a brief moment, she glanced at her hands still tightly wrapped around the steering wheel.  She shivered at the sight of her white knuckles.  Immediately she brought her gaze back up to find the snow covered road looming before her.  Her eyes scanned her surroundings as she tried to acclimate herself to her location.  Her mind was attempting to calculate how much longer she needed to be on this dangerously slick stretch of highway.

            As she finalized her thoughts, her eyes caught sight of the familiar bank of trees just ahead.  A sigh of relief surged through her as she neared the turn-off.  Cautiously, she eased her foot off of the accelerator and began to lightly tap on the brakes.  With a firm hold on the steering wheel, she began to turn onto the long, winding driveway.

            "God, I hope I can get out of here." She mumbled to herself.  Her eyes glanced up into her rearview mirror only to notice that the tire tracks she was leaving were quickly being covered over even as she ventured slowly forward.  She shook her head.

            She eased the car to a halt right at the front corner of the house.  She looked up and noticed smoke coming from the fireplace.  Her heart leapt into her throat.  Someone must be inside.  Someone had a fire going. 

            She looked around, feeling panic rise in her throat.  The snow was coming down heavier now and she knew it would be foolhardy to attempt to leave.  She mentally crossed her fingers and prayed that whoever it was in the house, it wasn't him. 

            Why would he be here, anyway?  He had much too much to do to waste time here in seclusion.  No, she told herself, it had to be one of his friends.  She could handle that.  She liked his friends and they liked her.  All she had to tell them was she was picking up a few things, grab them, and be off.  She'd be gone before anyone could tell him she had been to the cabin.  She would leave her key on the table that stood beside the door, too.  She might even leave a little note - thank you for the use of the cabin.  Then he'd know the key was hers.  There would be no question if she kept the key.  He would have it in his possession.

            A coolness began to settle over the room.  Slowly he opened his eyes and looked into the fireplace.  The fire was dying.  Only a few hot coals and embers were left, effectively reducing the amount of heat the original fire had filled the room with.  Begrudgingly, he pushed himself off of the couch and made his way to the back door.  He reached up and removed his jacket from the hook that rested next to the door.  Shrugging the leather jacket over his shoulders and placing his warm gloves over his hands, he opened the door and made his way to the woodpile.

            Slowly she walked to the front door.  With her foot, she kicked the snow away from the steps as she took them each, one by one.  The snow fell heavier around her and her hair and shoulders were covered in a blanket of white fluff.  The wind sounded softly through the Pine trees that encased the cabin.  She shivered as the wind whipped around her.  Clumsily she fumbled in her purse to find the key.  Once it was in her hand, she slipped the key in the lock, turned it, and pushed the front door open.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 2

            A sudden gust of wind assisted in pushing the door open.  It slammed against the inside wall and she quickly reached to retrieve it.  She stepped inside, pushed the door closed and caught her breath.  For a few seconds she stood, facing the door, trying to gather her thoughts about her.  With a deep sigh and a hard swallow, she turned to face the interior of the cabin.

            A wave of sadness washed over her as she took in the rustic charm of the cabin.  She had to mentally control the feelings that rushed over her.  Tears stung the back of her eyes as she realized this would be the last time she would ever be here.  A sharp pain pierced through her heart as she thought about not being here with him ever again.  The many nights spent lying in front of the fireplace, cuddling, holding each other, making love, were all in the past.  Never again would she feel his arms circle her.  Never again would she feel his lips softly touching hers.  Never again would he whisper words of love against her hair.  The first tear trickled down her cold, pink cheek. 

            “Get your things and get out of here.” She whispered to herself.  Somehow, she had to fulfill her mission and leave before he could even think that she might be in his domain.  With a heavy sigh and a purposeful step she headed herself in the direction of the bedroom.  The door was slightly ajar.  With a gentle push, she opened it and stepped inside. 

            A small gasp escaped her lips and she raised a now trembling hand to her mouth in an effort to stifle any further sounds.  She hadn’t realized that seeing their room would cause her so much pain.  Before she knew what was happening to her, the tears began to flow.  Quietly she stood in place, just staring around her, letting the waves of anguish wash over her.  Aimlessly she shook her head at the irony of all that had happened.  She allowed herself the brief few moments to just wallow in the pain of seeing what they had once happily shared.  And then it was over.

            Carefully he laid the three pieces of wood onto the glowing embers, as well as the single piece he had left on the hearth earlier.  He grabbed the poker and stoked the fire, softly blowing on it, creating flames anew.  He leaned back and admired the glowing blaze as it took hold.  Having removed his gloves he rubbed his hands together again.  He was chilled from his brief trip outdoors.  He needed something warm.  Rising to his feet, he headed back in the direction of the kitchen, grabbed the copper tea kettle, filled it with water and placed it on the stove.  Turning the control knob to high, he stepped back to wait for the water to come to a boil.  Nothing would work as well to chase the winter chill away as a nice hot cup of tea.

            Almost angrily, she reached up and wiped every tear from her skin.  She set her jaw in determination.  There was a job to do and she was here to do it.  She turned her head and spotted the first item she needed to pick up.  It was her perfume atomizer.  A bitter smile crossed her lips as she walked over to the dresser and retrieved the bottle.  She looked at it.

            “I know he’ll have no use for this.”

            With that said, she set it in her purse.  Raising her eyes, she walked over to the bedside table.  Her hairbrush was there.  She picked it up and allowed it to join her perfume in the dark recesses of her purse. 

            Her eyes scanned the circumference of the room.  Absently she allowed her hand to skim over the pale blue down comforter that covered the bed.  She caught a glimpse of the closet.  Hurriedly, she walked over to it and opened the doors.  Quickly she pulled her garments from their hangers and tossed them onto the bed.  Fortunately she had only left enough clothes for a week’s stay.  It would be easy to remove them all in one trip.  A sardonic chuckle escaped her as she realized he had been the one to teach her how to travel light. 

            Bending over, she retrieved a pair of fur-lined boots, a pair of Nike shoes, and a pair of black dress heels.  Immediately they joined the clothes on the bed. 

            Returning her attention to the dresser, she opened the two top drawers.  He had called them her lingerie drawers.  That was exactly what she kept in them.  Carelessly, she tossed the flimsy scraps of lace and satin onto the bed with her other belongings.  Opening the middle dresser drawer, she found her lounging pajamas.  They were a purple satin.  He had bought them for her.  He liked them so much; he had given her two pair – one for the cabin – one for their apartment.  Without even picking them up, she closed the drawer. 

            “If he likes them so much, he can keep them.”

            The sound of a whistling tea kettle caught her attention.  At first, a knot tightened in her stomach.  It was then that she remembered the smoke coming from the chimney when she had walked up to the cabin.  She hoped she was right, that whoever it was in the kitchen, it wasn’t him.  She walked back over to the bed, retrieved her blue suitcase from beneath it, and laid it on top of the bed.  She clicked the locks open, flipped the lid and began tossing her clothes and shoes inside. 

            As she was about to close it, her eyes caught sight of a picture on the opposite bedside table.  She swallowed hard.  Walking around the bed, she approached it cautiously.  A shaky hand reached out and picked it up.  Her eyes blinked back newfound tears.

            “What in the hell are you doing here?”  His voice boomed from behind her.  Startled, she dropped the picture from her grasp, shattering the glass all around her feet.  She stood motionless as a shiver raced up her spine.

            “I asked you a question.” His voice was cold and unfeeling.  Anger radiated from it.

            Refusing to turn around and meet his gaze she stared at the wall ahead of her.

            “I came to get my things.”

            “Did you now?  Isn’t that sweet?”  His tone was completely void of any feeling.  She could only hear sarcasm dripping from him. 

            “You’re trespassing!”  He shouted at her.

            Amazed that he could accuse her of that, she spun around on one heel, glass from the broken picture crunching beneath her foot.

            “I am not.  I came to get my things, leave my key, and get out of your life.”

            Without even blinking an eye, he verbally assaulted her. 

            “You’re taking way too long to get out of my life!  Get out!  I’ll have your things, what few there are, sent to you.  Now, get out!”  She noticed how his hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides.

            She resented the tone and the attitude that he was taking with her.  She raised her chin defiantly. 

            “I’m not leaving my things with you.  I’ll take them with me.”

            “Who gave you permission to come here?”

            “You did, a long time ago.”

            “That was then!  This is now!”

            She glared at him.  “You are so wrong!  But you don’t even care!  And you know what?  Neither do I!”

            “What is that supposed to mean?”

            She shook her head.  “It just means that there was a time when I wanted to try to explain things to you.  Now?  I really don’t care what you think.  I’ll just get my things and I’m out of here.”

            She bent to pick up the picture, then moved over the broken glass and returned to the side of the bed.  She leaned over, set the picture inside the suitcase, and reached to pull the far side closed. 

            A gasp sounded from her as his hand shot out and slammed the suitcase open again.  Her gaze drifted up to meet his eyes, cold and unfeeling.

            “That”, he pointed a tense finger at the picture laying on top of her clothing, “stays here!”

            She was taken aback by his statement and confusion creased her brow.

            “Excuse me?” she asked quietly.

            “I said that picture is staying right here.  It’s mine.  You are not taking it with you.”

            “Forgive me if I seem confused, but you just told me you wanted me out of your life.  How is keeping this picture getting rid of me?  You do remember what it’s a picture of, don’t you?”

            “Don’t be so damned smug!  Of course I remember!  That’s beside the point.  It’s mine and it stays right here!”  He punctuated his statement by pointing at the floor and shaking his hand in that direction several times.

            She shook her head incredulously.  “You are such a hypocrite!”

            As an eyebrow arched in her direction, he sucked in a deep breath.  The sound caused a shiver to again race up her spine.  She did not allow the look on his face or the determination in his posture to stray her from what she had set out to do.  Again, she reached to close her suitcase.

            Instantly she felt two strong hands seize her shoulders in a vice-like hold.  Before she could think, he spun her around and forced her to look at him.  Anger poured from him as his eyes searched her face.  She refused to allow him to know he was frightening her, and so she glared at him.  She swallowed hard as she bit back the angry words that begged to be screamed at him.

            Through clenched teeth, he spoke in a hushed tone.  “What part of ‘it’s mine’ don’t you understand?”

            She refused to answer him.

            “You have no business here.  I want you out of here, now!  Just the sight of you turns my stomach!”

            Was she breathing?  As the tears burned behind her eyes, she forced herself to draw a shaky breath.  Yes, she was breathing.  The pain that had surged through her at his words had created such a pain in her chest that she was nearly positive she had died.  But no, albeit shallow and extremely shaky, there was still breath left within her.  She wrenched herself from his grip and turned back to the suitcase.  Quietly she closed the piece of luggage, the picture still held securely in its confines.  She snapped the locks closed and picked it up from the bed.

            Forcing herself not to look up into the coldness of his blue eyes, she side stepped him, and headed for the door.  As she crossed the threshold to the hallway, not slowing her pace, she calmly expressed her innermost thoughts.

            “I never knew what an absolute ignorant bastard you really are!  I’d much rather spend Christmas, and my life, alone than with you.  Have a wonderful life!”

            Her hand reached out, grabbed the doorknob to the front door, and turned it.  The door swung open toward her as the cold outside air swirled around her.  Her eyes opened in surprise as she stared at the blanket of white that now covered everything from the evergreens beside the house, to her car which was barely visible through the blowing gusts of wind and snow.  She looked down at the snow covered porch, and realized there had to be at least four inches of snow on it.  In the back of her mind she realized that if the porch had that much coverage, what must the main roads be like?  Hearing him move behind her, she sucked in a deep breath and decided to venture out. 

            As soon as her ankle felt the icy cold of the snow around it, she gasped.  She forced herself to ignore the cold and headed toward the steps that would lead her to her nearly buried vehicle.  The suitcase dragged along the top of the snow, leaving a sled-like trail behind her. 

            He stepped into the open doorway, silently watching her trudge through the heavy, wet snow.  The snowfall was unexpected, and somewhere in the recesses of his mind he knew he couldn’t let her leave with weather conditions like this.  Despite his anger he yelled for her to come back into the cabin.  His request fell on deaf ear.  She reached the car and swiped her hand across the side of the door, making it easier for her to access the door handle.  Pulling the back door open, she placed her suitcase on the back seat.  Then, reaching down to the floor of the backseat, she retrieved her snow scraper and stepped back.  She slammed the door closed and began the arduous task of removing the snow from the windows of the car.

            He stood on the porch, watching her.  He swallowed hard.  He surprised himself by feeling worried about her.  He knew he couldn’t let her drive in these conditions.  Again, he yelled for her to come back into the cabin.  His voice seemed to be carried away on the gusts of wind that whipped around him.  He shivered from the cold and immediately tucked his hands under his arms in an effort to stay warm.  He turned to go inside.  Somehow he knew he had to prevent her from leaving in these conditions.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 3

            Shrugging into his jacket, JC hurried back to the front porch.  Again he called her name, and told her to come back inside.  He froze on the first step of the porch.  His eyes scanned the area surrounding her car.  Where was she?  He couldn’t see her.  He couldn’t hear her.  He called out for her again.  There was nothing.  He listened, trying to discern if the motor of the car was running.  He told himself that she must be inside the car.  Yet, from what he could hear, the car did not appear to be running.  He knew he couldn’t be sure because of the howling of the wind, but there was nothing that sounded like a car to him. 

            Slowly he took each step from the porch.  Twice he nearly slipped and fell, having stepped on ice beneath the snowy path.  He called out to her, still he heard nothing.  For a moment he thought she might just be purposely ignoring him.  Yet, when he realized he couldn’t see her, he became concerned. 

            Gradually his pace closed the distance between him and the car.  The winds continued to whip around him and his dark hair was covered in a coating of white as the snow fell at a fast and heavy rate.

            “Abby?”  Again he yelled her name.  He grimaced when he received no reply. 

            She had to be inside the vehicle.  That was the only explanation for him not hearing or seeing her.  He nodded to himself.  A small smile appeared as he realized that she would probably spend the entire night sitting in the car in front of the cabin, rather than come inside with him after what he had said.  That thought caused him to halt his movements.

            “Fine!” he said to himself.  “If you want to freeze your ass off, you go right ahead!  I’m going back inside.  I’m sure if you get cold enough, you’ll come knocking on the door.”          

            Feeling quite sure of himself, JC made his way back up to the porch of the cabin.  He took one more look at the car, chuckled, and went back inside.  He pushed the door closed, but did not lock it.  Draping his jacket over the back of the chair beside the fireplace, he picked up the poker and stirred up the wood and embers that cast such a warm glow around the room. 

            “Yep, when she’s cold enough she’ll be begging to come inside.”  He laughed out loud.

            Ten minutes passed as JC sat in the chair calmly watching the glow of the fire.  Absently his fingers drummed on the armrest.  He looked at his watch.  He looked over his shoulder at the front door.  She was still outside.

            Twenty minutes passed and JC shifted in his chair a bit uneasily.  He looked at his watch again.  He repeatedly looked over at the front door.  He shook his head.  Apparently she still wasn’t too cold.

            Thirty minutes passed and JC could feel his entire body tensing.  He could hear the winds howling around the cabin and sleet pelting against the windows.  Without even looking, he knew the conditions were worsening.  He knew that if there was sleet coming down the temperatures were falling.  He wondered how long she would play the bullheaded one and stay outside.

            At the forty-five minute mark, he could wait no longer.  Even in his anger, he knew she shouldn’t be outside in the storm.  He pushed himself out of the chair and picked up his jacket.  He slipped it on and headed to the door and opened it, bracing one hand against the wood of it so that the gusting wind wouldn’t whip it from his grasp. 

            Looking around outside, JC realized that the visibility was nearly nil.  Total darkness was closing in as nightfall was nearly complete.  He forced himself to focus on her car.  He could find it, but only because of the shape of the mound of snow covering it.  He tucked his chin to his chest and closed his coat around him more as he made his way to the car. 

            As he stood in front of it, it became obvious that Abby hadn’t been running it for heat.  She hadn’t cleared the windshield of the fallen snow.  For that matter, she hadn’t cleared any of the windows. 

            “Abby?”

            The only reply he received was a whistle through the trees from the wind as it sent more snow and sleet pelting against his face.

            “Abby, where are you?” he raised his voice in an effort to be heard.

            He approached the driver’s door of the car and quickly brushed his hand through the near frozen snow that covered it.  As he stepped in to pull the door open, his foot kicked something.

            “What the…”

            He stepped back.  Looking down, his heart began to pound wildly.  The thought of something he had never considered began to race through his mind.  He bent down, and with his bare hands he began to brush the snow off of the thing he had unintentionally kicked.  His eyes widened in terror as more and more of Abby was revealed.  Somehow, she had fallen and was lying unconscious beside the car, and now was covered by the snow.

            He worked rapidly to uncover her.  He took his chilled hands and tried to cup her reddened cheeks. 

            “Oh, my God!”  Without hesitation, he scooped her up into his arms and tried to hurry as quickly as conditions would allow to get her into the cabin. 

            The wind pushed the door open for him and his foot worked amply to slam it closed.  He nearly ran to the couch in the living room and laid her still form on it.  He shrugged out of his jacket and laid it over her, hoping the warmth from his body would somehow seep through to her.

            Gently his hands brushed her wet hair from her face.  He noticed how red her cheeks were.  Her lashes were flecked with snow and tiny bits of ice crystals and her lips were nearly blue.  He felt tears well up as he knelt beside her.  As his hands caressed her icy skin, he felt a fear he had never known before. 

            Drawing a ragged breath, he reached to the back of the couch and yanked the folded afghan from it.  Carefully he opened it and covered her cold body with it.  He hugged her as he tried to cover her with his warmth in a feeble attempt to bring her body temperature back to normal.  His breathing was shallow but rapid as panic raced through him.  Help, he needed to get help.  He tucked the afghan around her and eased himself away from her.  He backed away, and moved toward the table where the telephone was.  He picked it up and immediately dialed 911.  Placing the receiver to his ear, he waited for a response from the other end.  When nothing happened, he clicked the buttons and re-dialed.  Still there was nothing.  Slowly, he clicked the buttons once more, placed the receiver to his ear again and realized the phone was dead.  A curse flew from his lips as he tossed the phone to the floor. 

            He raced to the bedroom and retrieved his cell phone.  He thanked the powers that be that he had had the foresight to keep the phone in its charger when he arrived.  Flipping the cover open, he immediately pressed 911 and the send button.  A tone sounded in his ear and he held the cell phone in front of him only to read a message that told him the call had failed.  He cleared the call, and immediately noticed that the service light was blinking red.  He was out of his service area.

            The bitter taste of panic rose in his throat.  He knew Abby needed help, and it seemed that he was helpless to get it for her.  He ran a shaky hand through his hair and forced back the tears that threatened to fall. 

            This was his fault.  There was no one else to blame.  He had literally thrown her out.  He had cast her out into a blinding snowstorm with no regard for her well-being.  He knew he had told her he wanted her out of his life, but now, as he actually faced the reality of it, regret surged through him.

            Having tossed the cell phone on the bed, JC returned to the living room.  He stopped to stoke the fire, quickly tossing some kindling on top of the hot embers in an effort to warm the room at a quicker rate.  Then, standing straight, he turned and looked at her still form.  He tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat as he looked at the tiny beads of water that rested softly on her lashes.

            He moved toward her and again knelt beside her.  He rested his hands on top of the afghan that covered her hands.  He could feel her body trembling beneath the covers.  He lowered his head, and rested it on her shoulder.

            “Oh, Abby, I’m so sorry.  Please, you have to be okay.  I never meant for anything like this to happen.  Please just be okay.”  His words were whispered and broken as he spoke them.

            She shivered more.  He lifted his head and looked down at her.  Her lips had regained some of their color, but still were an unnatural shade of pink.  She slowly turned her head to the side, and his eyes took in the sight before him.

            “Oh God!” he gasped.

            The pillow beneath her head was covered in blood, her blood.  Immediately he ran his hand behind her head.  He could feel a bump and when he retracted his hand it was covered in blood as well. 

            His eyes darted around him.  He knew he needed to do something, but his brain was failing him.  He couldn’t think.  He was at a loss. 

            “Please, Abby, please don’t die!” the plea escaped his lips before he even realized he had thought it.

            Abby flexed her neck and groaned.  Almost immediately JC moved into action.  He headed directly to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet.  Grabbing bandages and gauze and antiseptic he practically slammed the door to the medicine cabinet closed.  He opened the door to the cupboard beneath the sink and grabbed two clean wash cloths.  Turning on the warm water, he soaked both cloths and wrung them out.  He rushed back to Abby’s side. 

            Keeping his voice low and as calm as was humanly possible, JC spoke to her, explaining what he intended to do.

            “I’ll do my best not to hurt you, honey.  We just need to clean this up and put some pressure to it.  How did you ever cut the back of your head?  Girl, no wonder you worry me so much.”

            Carefully he turned Abby to her side so that the back of her head was toward him.  Momentarily he closed his eyes and swallowed hard.  Her hair was matted close to her head, covered in her blood.  Quickly composing himself, he began to dab at her hair in an effort to clean the blood away so that he could better see the wound.  Once he had cleaned her hair of the blood, he carefully used his fingers to separate the dampened strands.  He drew in a deep breath and slowly released it. 

            “Thank God!” he murmured to himself as he finally viewed the gash right in the center of her head.  He was relieved to see that it wasn’t really that large and that the bleeding had, for the most part, nearly subsided. 

            He took the second wash cloth and began to clean the area around the wound.  When Abby moaned again, he halted his actions for a moment.

            “I’m sorry, Abby.  We really need to make sure this thing stops bleeding.”  He rested his hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.

            After the brief pause, JC immediately returned to the task at hand.  Having completed the cleaning of the area, he picked up a thick piece of gauze and gently placed it over the affected area.  Then, taking the roll of gauze, he knew he would have to wrap it around her head.  Gently, he cupped her head in one hand and tried to adeptly wrap the gauze around her.  After making several loops around, he stopped.  He lowered her head back to the pillow, grabbed up some medical tape, and began taping the newer gauze in place. 

            His eyes caught sight of the pillow again.  He reached to the far end of the couch and grabbed the matching pillow from that end.  Once more he lifted her head, removed the soiled pillow and replaced it with the clean one.  Slowly he lowered her back to the pillow and helped her roll back onto her back.  Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, hoping she would feel it through the gauze that was lying against her skin.

            Making certain that she was still covered by his jacket and the afghan, JC stood and grabbed up the stained pillow and the wash cloths he had used to cleanse her head.  He carried them to the kitchen.  Reaching beneath the sink, he retrieved a bucket.  Having filled it with cold water, he placed the cloths and pillow into the water, hoping to remove the blood without leaving any stains behind. 

            Then, he grabbed a small glass, filled it with water and carried it back to the living room.  He pulled the coffee table over to the couch and sat down on it.  His hand rested lightly on top of the afghan as he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.  His brow was creased with worry as he found himself wondering exactly what had happened.  His curiosity didn’t stop with how she had fallen.  He found himself trying to figure out what had gone wrong with them and their relationship, as well.  Shaking his head, he heard his voice echo in the quiet room as he spoke to her.

            “I don’t understand.  I can’t figure out what went wrong.” He closed his eyes as he tried to fight the wave of emotion that flooded over him.

            “I thought we were happy, you know?  We had it all.  At least, I thought we did.”

            He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.  Slowly he breathed in a deep breath and released it.  His eyes scanned her peaceful face.  He tried to focus on the present, trying to stop his mind from all of the memories.

            “What happened out there?  How did you fall?  Did you slip?  Was there ice out there?  God, did you try to get my attention?  Did I not hear you?” the last question was followed by a sad chuckle.  “Of course I didn’t hear you.  I’d never let you just lay there in the cold and wet snow, never!”  His voice trailed off.

            Slowly he dragged his hand from where it rested over her arm and gently let the back of his hand brush her cheek.  At last her lips were a normal shade of pink and her skin felt warm to his touch. 

            “Please, Abby, please just open your eyes and look at me.” His voice broke as he spoke.  “This is the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn, but …” he stopped himself.  He couldn’t allow himself to speak about losing her.  He couldn’t say aloud what was going through his mind.  He knew he had told her to leave.  He heard his own words telling her to get out of his life.  Yet now, faced with it, he knew he didn’t mean it.  He knew he couldn’t say it again.  He knew deep in his heart that the love he felt for her ran deeper than anything else they had been through. 

            “We’ll get through this, Abby!  I swear we’ll get through this!  Just don’t leave me!”  His voice sounded hoarse, even to his own ears.  He had to tell her how he felt.  He had to make sure she knew he didn’t want her to go, in any fashion.  He had to be certain that she knew how much he loved her.  He had to hang on to her. 

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 4

            Without any warning, the lights flickered and then went out.  Momentarily stunned, JC sat quite still, just looking around him.  His finger was poised at Abby’s lips with a drop of water resting at its tip.  He had been about to apply a bit of water to her mouth in an effort to try to give her some intake of liquid.

            “Shit!” he cursed as he placed the glass next to him on the coffee table.

            He rose to his feet and went in search of candles.  Thankfully Abby had always managed to keep a supply of new candles both at his home and at the cabin.  Finding the matches on the mantle above the fireplace, JC began lighting the candles.  When a warm glow finally filled the room, he returned to the fireplace and again stoked the fire.  Realizing that he had already placed the last piece of wood on the fire previously, he decided he’d better bring in more wood.  With the power out the cabin would become quite chilled unless he managed to maintain a steady fire.

            Looking around for his jacket, JC realized it was still hidden under the afghan that covered Abby.  Not wanting to risk causing her a chill, he headed toward the door without any jacket.  Opening the door, the chill of the night air immediately swept over him.  He wrapped his arms around himself and braved the wind to head toward the pile of wood that stood a few feet from the door.  Loading as many pieces as was possible into his arms, JC hurriedly raced back inside.  He kicked the door closed and carried the logs over to the fireplace.  Unceremoniously he dropped the wood onto the hearth.  Brushing himself off and blowing on his chilled hands he turned and walked back over to Abby.

            “Well, it looks like it’s going to be one hell of a night.  Not only did you go and get hurt, but now we have no phones, no power and no heat.  I mean, except for the fireplace.  This means, old JC here had better not fall asleep.  I’m going to have to stay up all night just to make sure we stay warm.  At least we have your candles.  I guess I shouldn’t have made fun of you every time you bought a new one, huh?  I think they’re going to come in handy now.  They really look nice, Abby.  I wish you could see them.  God, I wish you could see them.” 

            Sitting beside her, his leg nervously bouncing up and down, his hands alternating between wringing and running through his hair, and a never-ending diatribe of reminiscing about their past, JC tried to stay calm and think positive.  He told himself to keep talking.  He reminded himself that doctors always said that even the most ill of patients could hear their loved ones communicating with them.  Thus, he continued to talk. 

            One thing was certain, if his talking didn’t wake her, it was reminding him of all the things that had made him love her.  The stories of their time together gave him such a feeling of satisfaction.  The times they had been apart because of his touring, there were those stories as well.  He told her how he would dream of getting home to be with her.  He spoke of the times he would rush to his tour bus, grab his cell phone and call her to tell her how his show had been.  He went on and on, telling story after story, creating a new ache within his heart he hadn’t yet experienced.

            Hanging his head, he shook it slowly in disbelief.  “What have I done, Abby?  I’m so stupid.  I can’t believe I tried to make you leave me.  I love you, Abby.  I love you so much.

            “It’s just that, well, that day, when you…” he hesitated.  “I was there, Abby.  You didn’t see me, but I was there.  I was having lunch with Chris.”  He stopped and looked at her peacefully resting form.  “I know, I told you I didn’t have anything to do that day, but after you left, Chris called and I went to meet him.  There we were, just sitting there, waiting for our food.  We were running ideas by each other for a new album.”  A sad smile crossed his face.

            “Yeah, I know, you’ve been trying to encourage that idea for a long time.  It seems like Chris had the same idea.  Anyway, I looked across the restaurant and saw you.  Abby, I was so excited.  I had just stood up to call to you, and that’s when I saw him!”  Sadness filled his blue eyes.  “Who is he, Abby?  Who?  And why does he seem to make you so happy?  I saw the way your face lit up when he walked over to you.  You stood up, hugged him, and, damn it, you kissed him!”  JC had to stop.  His teeth were clenched and the muscle in his temple flexed from the tension.

            After taking a deep breath, he continued.  “Abby, I don’t know who he is or what he has to offer you.  But, I love you, Abby.  I can’t let you go.  I thought I could, but I can’t.  So,” he raised his chin, “hear this!  I’m not letting you go.  I’ve decided to fight for you.  I’m going to make you forget him.  I can give you more than he can.  I can love you more than he does.  I do!  I already do!  It’s my goal, honey.  I’m going to make you forget him.  I’ll make you forget everything about him.”  With that said, JC grew quiet. 

            The fire crackled and popped as JC sat motionless.  His eyes never strayed from Abby.  He watched her.  He waited for any sign that she might be waking up.  Wearily he rubbed his hands over his face.  He yawned.  His neck felt stiff.  He began moving his head side to side and up and down.  He felt the chords in the back of his neck stretch and he groaned at the sensation.  He felt exhausted.  He was afraid to sleep even though his body cried out for it.  Reluctantly, he gave in to the demands his being cried out for.  He leaned forward and rested his head where Abby’s hands were hidden beneath the afghan.  Within moments he was sleeping.

            A loud snapping sound brought JC wide awake.  He sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around.  There, on the hearth before the fireplace sat a smoldering ember that had leapt from the fireplace.  JC forced himself up and moved over toward the now diminishing fire.  He picked up the small scoop and pushed the ember back inside the opening.  Then, taking the poker, he pushed the wood around, created a new blaze and added two new pieces of wood.  As he set the poker back in the tool stand, he thought he heard something. 

            He hesitated.  Slowly he turned around and allowed his gaze to stop on Abby.  He watched in amazement as her brow creased, as if she were experiencing some kind of pain.  As if in slow motion, JC moved toward the couch.

            “Abby?” he whispered.

            She drew in a quick breath and immediately a moan followed.

            “Abby?” his voice was still low but louder than his whispered query before.

            She groaned.

            He moved beside her and dropped to his knees.  He allowed his hand to brush her cheek.

            “Abby, it’s me.  It’s JC.  I’m right here.  Can you hear me?”

            Her eyelids flickered as she attempted to open them.  With a bit of a struggle, she pulled one hand from beneath the covers.  Immediately she lifted it to her head.  Again, she moaned.

            “Honey, can you hear me?  Open your eyes, Abby.  Look at me.  Please, look at me.”  His tone was pleading as he tried to coerce her into waking up.

            Slowly she licked her lips and opened her eyes.  Her forehead was creased as she attempted to look at JC.

            “Hi.” His voice was so hoarse; his one word was barely audible.

            “Hurts.” She said as her hand came in contact with the gauze that was wrapped around her head.

            “I know, sweetheart.  I know.  You must have fallen.  Do you remember what happened?”

            Abby tried to focus on him.  A slow shake of her head told him she didn’t know what had happened.

            “I brought you inside.  You were lying on the ground by the car.  Do you remember now?”

            “On the ground?”

            “Yes.”

            “Don’t … remember.”

            “It’s okay.  You will I’m sure.  You just need to rest right now.  Can I get you anything?”

            Though somewhat disoriented, Abby tried to figure out where she was.

            “The cabin?” she asked as her eyes scanned her surroundings.

            “Yes.”

            “But?”

            “Shhhh!  We’re not going to talk about that.  You’re here.  I’m here.  Right now, that’s all that matters.”

            Her voice was weak.  “I was leaving.”

            “Let’s not talk about that, okay?”

            Her brown eyes looked at him.  Her head was pounding.  Her thoughts were jumbled.  Somewhere in her mind she knew things were not as they should be, but things escaped her and she couldn’t remember all the details.

            She shivered.  JC noticed instantly.  Instinctively he reached down and tucked the afghan around her tighter.

            “Do you want me to make a bigger fire?” he asked.

            “No.  Maybe you could just turn up the furnace.”

            JC smiled weakly.  “I can’t, honey.  There’s a power outage.  We’re strictly running on fire power – both for heat and light.  It’s a good thing you liked candles.” He winked at her.

            “The power is out?  JC, what’s going on?” she tried to sit up.  Instantly, her hands rose to her head and she practically screamed out in pain.  “OH!”

            Grabbing her shoulders, JC helped ease her back to the pillow.

            “Abby, please don’t sit up.  You need to lay still.  You hit your head, honey.  I’m not quite sure how, but you hit your head.  You’ve got quite a cut on the back of it.  I cleaned it up, but I’m sure you’re going to have one hell of a headache for a while.  Please just rest.”

            With her head back on the pillow, she looked back up at JC.  Realization dawned to her.

            “I was leaving.”

            Abby watched as all the color drained from JC’s face.  Words escaped him and his only reply was a sad nod of his head.

            “It was snowing.”

            “Yes.”

            “It was snowing really hard.”  Abby was struggling to remember the details.

            “Yes.”

            Confusion was etched on her face.  Her brown eyes searched his blue eyes.  Things were not making any sense.  She tried to understand what had happened.

            “JC, you told me to get out.”

            Instantly she saw something flash in his eyes.  For a brief moment he closed his eyes tightly and then slowly reopened them.  A slow nod of his head was the only reply she received.

            “Then, what am I doing…”

            “I told you, Abby, you fell.  I brought you back inside.”

            “Thank you, I guess.”

            Again, JC merely nodded.

            With extreme effort, Abby forced herself to sit up.  Her head was pounding.  Her vision wasn’t quite clear.  Her heart still ached from the argument they had had earlier.  No matter, she knew she had to get away from him.

            “Excuse me.” She said as she attempted to swing her legs around to rest her feet on the floor.  JC’s body blocked her and she attempted to draw her knees in enough so as to get past him.

            “What are you doing?” he asked.

            “I’m trying to get up.” Came her reply as she maneuvered her legs and guided her feet to rest beside him.

            “Abby, I really don’t think that’s a wise idea.  You hit your head.”

            “No offense, JC, but honestly, I bumped my head, I did not kill myself.  Thank you for bringing me inside.  I think it’s time I got out of your way.” 

            JC jumped to his feet as she attempted to stand for the first time.  He watched as she teetered while trying to gain her balance.  Without hesitation, he reached out and put his hand on her back to help steady her.

            “What do you think you’re doing?” she snapped at him.

            “You’re going to fall over if I don’t watch you.”

            “I don’t think so.  Thanks, but I’m not your problem any more.”

            “You’ve never been a problem, Abby.  Don’t talk like that.”

            With her lips pursed, she released a deep sigh.  Her head ached badly.  She knew her vision wasn’t what it should be, yet she knew she couldn’t stay with him.  Trying to gain her nerve, she drew a deep breath and turned to move around the couch.

            “Thanks, again, JC.”  She began moving toward the front door.

            With eyes wide as saucers, JC watched as Abby made her way to the door.  Seemingly paralyzed, he stood motionless.  Words escaped him.  He watched helplessly as her hand reached out and grabbed the doorknob.  The night air was cold as she pulled the door open and the brisk breeze of the winter storm outside found its way inside.  The wind pushed the door open wider, causing Abby to stumble backward.  She didn’t lose her footing, but was taken by surprise by the force of the arctic blast that invaded the warm confines of the cabin.  Abby looked down at herself.  No coat.  Her eyes scanned around the cabin in search of her winter jacket.

            “May I have my coat, JC?”

            His brow creased.  He shook his head.  He stood his ground.

            “JC, I can’t go out in this without my coat.  Please, may I have my coat?”

            “No.”

            Her eyes widened in disbelief.

            “You’re not leaving.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I said you’re not leaving.”

            His eyes never left her face.  Slowly, he moved from in front of the couch.  His legs guided him to stand directly in front of her.  Her hands dropped away from the door.  His hand grabbed the heavy wooden door and forcefully slammed it closed.

            “You’re not leaving until we’ve finished talking.  There are things I have to say.”

            “You’ve said all there is to say.”

            “Oh no, I have not.  Now, you can go over there and sit down while we talk, or I can carry you.  It’s your choice.”

            “I don’t…”

            “I said it’s your choice.  Choose!”     

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 5

            Taken aback by his abrupt manner, Abby stood still.  Her eyes showed the confusion that played in her mind.  The tone of voice in which he had spoken that one word was undeniably forceful.  Rarely did JC ever speak to anyone in that superior tone, but the few times Abby had witnessed his use of it, everyone around him knew he meant business.  Obviously, she either needed to make a choice or face his wrath.

            Without uttering a reply, Abby turned herself away and moved slowly toward the couch.  The pounding in her head begged her to find comfort on the piece of furniture that met the back of her knees.  Yet, she hesitated.  Somewhere in the inner recesses of her mind his angry words echoed.  Why would he forbid her to leave when he wanted her out of his life so badly?  None of this made any sense to her.

            “Sit down, Abby.”  His voice still sounded stern.  He forcefully closed the door against the raging wind before moving to stand before her.

            She dragged her gaze up to his.  Slowly she shook her head. 

            “I really don’t think you’re well enough to argue with me.  Please, sit down.”

            Not wanting to admit he was right, but feeling her knees tremble beneath her, she reluctantly lowered herself to the waiting couch.  Her brow was creased in pain as she clenched her hands in her lap.  Somewhere deep within her she refused to let him know how badly her head ached.

            “Where did you think you were going?  Don’t you remember how bad the weather is?”

            “I remember.”  Her tone was flat and unfeeling.

            “You do realize how late it is, don’t you?  I can’t let you drive at night with the roads in the condition they’re in.”

            “You don’t need to worry about me.”

            Her words cut him.  He knew she remembered what he had said.  Briefly he hung his head as he searched for the right thing to say.  He ran his hand through his already disheveled hair.  He silently cursed himself for the way he had treated her. 

            “Abby, I…”

            She raised a shaky hand.  “Don’t JC.  There’s nothing left to say.  You made yourself quite clear.  If I hadn’t been so careless as to fall, I’d be out of your life; I’d be gone just the way you want me to be.”

            He scowled at her words.  How could she believe he still felt that way?  The doctors knew nothing of talking to patients who were unconscious.  Obviously, they did not hear you when you spoke to them.  If they did, Abby would know how much JC still loved her.

            “I don’t want you to be gone.”  His voice was a near whisper.

            Abby stared blankly at him.  For a brief moment, she was unsure if she had heard him correctly.  Visibly, she shook her head. 

            “That’s just plain cruel, JC.  You can’t scream and yell at me, telling me to get out of your life as fast as I can one minute, and then look at me and tell me you didn’t mean it the next.  That’s just mean!”

            “Can’t a guy be wrong?”

            “You can’t be wrong when you tell someone to get out!”  Abby was angry.  Her voice was loud, and her head was splitting.  “You made yourself very clear, JC.  You mad yourself crystal clear!”

            He swallowed the huge lump in his throat.  She watched as his Adam’s apple moved with the action.  Again he ran his hand through his hair.  He backed away from her.  His nerves were on edge.  He began to pace the living room.  He stopped as he reached the fireplace and turned abruptly to look at her.

            “Who is he, Abby?”

            Caught off guard by his question, her eyes grew wide with uncertainty.

            “I don’t know who you’re talking about.  There isn’t anyone else.”

            “Yes there is.  Don’t lie to me.  I saw you with him.  I want to know who he is.”

            Abby rose to her feet, her eyes fixed on JC’s still form.  She turned to walk toward him but stopped cold as a wave of nausea hit her.  She grabbed her stomach and dropped back down on the couch, her eyes tightly closed.  JC rushed to her, kneeling before her.

            “Abby?  Are you okay?”

            Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and met his gaze.  There he was, kneeling in front of her, his eyes full of something – was it love, she wasn’t sure.  She’d seen that look before but not after something like they’d been through.

            “I’m fine.” Her answer came out as a soft whisper.

            “Please, don’t get up again.  I mean, you need to rest and stay off your feet.”

            “I need to get out of here.”

            He shook his head.  “You need to rest.  Please, lay down.”

            Doubt filled her eyes.  She felt confused. 

            “JC, really, I need…”

            He silenced her with a finger placed against her soft lips.  He allowed the corners of his mouth to lift in a slight smile.  Then, without a word, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her to lie down on the couch.

            “You just need to rest, Abby.  When you wake up we can talk this over.  I think we both have a lot of questions we need answered.  But, first, please just rest.”

            She was overcome by his gentle tone.  The look in his crystal blue eyes touched something within her heart, and silently she nodded her agreement.  He gently lifted her head and placed a soft pillow beneath her.  He reached for the afghan and placed it over her legs, allowing it to rest just above her waist.  He tucked her in with the care a father uses to tuck in his daughter before bedtime.  He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.  Then, without a word, he stood, walked over to the fireplace and grabbed the poker.  He stirred the embers and ashes, making the fire come to life.  He returned the poker to its place beside the opening and reached for the last piece of wood sitting on the hearth.  He carefully tossed it into the stoked embers and watched as flames reappeared and engulfed the log in a welcoming fire hug.

            As he brushed his hands off on the thighs of his jeans, he turned to check on Abby.  She was fast asleep.  Minutes passed as he stood staring at her.  He marveled at her beauty, both physical and inner.  She truly was everything he had wanted in a woman.  Yet that jealous streak of his had taken control of him.  He had seen her in the restaurant with a man.  She had kissed him.  JC needed to know who he was.  He had to find out what that man could offer Abby that JC could not.  He knew he couldn’t let Abby out of his life, no matter how angry he was. 

            Anger wasn’t the only problem.  Jealousy was another of JC’s problems.  He knew what he had seen.  He knew how he felt.  Yet, he had never given her a chance to try to explain what had happened that day.  Instead, he drew his own conclusions, and made his decision.  But now, he felt he had been wrong.  Would he be able to convince her of that?  Could he persuade her not to leave?  Would she answer all of his questions?  JC could only hope he could find out everything he needed to and convince her to stay before she left him forever.

            He walked over to the arm chair across from the couch and dropped down into it.  Feeling the billowy leather cushions wrap themselves around him, he snuggled back into them, and closed his eyes.  Without another thought, he was fast asleep.

You Don’t Have To Be Alone

Chapter 6

            At first glance, it appeared that Abby had fallen into a deep sleep.  Thinking she would sleep for some time, JC allowed himself the luxury of dozing off in the plush leather arm chair.  However, a deep sleep eluded Abby.  A fitful, dream-filled sleep overtook her.  Dreams of a different time came into view as Abby was presented with a slow motion visual of her past with the man who refused to allow her to leave. 

            Smiling crystal blue eyes met her.  Her eyes scanned his face.  It was the face of a man both happy and in love.  There was never a time that she would look at JC and he wouldn’t smile at her.  Often he commented on how his day would brighten just having her walk into the same room he occupied.  Her head tossed slowly as she advanced further into the dream.  She felt his warm hand caress her cheek.  She saw herself lean into his hand as she melted into his gentle touch.  His voice cooed words of love over her like a soft spring rain falls on the delicate petals of the newly blooming rose.  Her heart was bursting with the love she felt for him. 

            In her dream she slowly opened her eyes.  Suddenly, smiling eyes were replaced by glaring cold eyes.  The gently caressing hand was now transformed into an angry gripping hand on her upper arm, holding her fast in front of him.  Softly spoken words of love were now heated words of anger.  Where she had been leaning into his hand, she now longed to pull away from him.  He was a stranger to her.  He was someone she didn’t know.  His temper was flaring and she had no idea why.  His words were accusatory.  She had done nothing, yet he made her feel like she was the most terrible person on the face of the earth.  She sensed a hatred for her where once there had been love.  She felt helpless and frightened. 

            “I want you out of my life!”  His words echoed over and over in her mind.  Tears streamed down her face.  Her body shook with the hurt and frustration that raced through her.  Every time she opened her mouth to speak, he would silence her.  She couldn’t express her confusion or question where his anger was coming from.  Abby was defeated before she had even begun.

            Roughly he released her arms, causing her to stumble backward.

            “JC?” she heard his name drift from her lips.  In the dream, she repeated it over and over.  He was leaving her.  He was moving away.  No matter how many times she said his name; no matter how loud she called to him, he kept drifting further away.  Suddenly, with all the strength she could pull from deep inside her, she screamed his name at the top of her lungs.

            The sound of Abby’s voice in the quiet cottage roused JC from his sound sleep.  He jumped from the chair and hurriedly moved over to the couch.  Confusion covered his face as he looked down on her still sleeping form.  He watched as her body trembled beneath the afghan and tears streamed from behind her closed eyelids.  Her lips quivered as she mumbled his name again.

            Helplessly, he dropped to his knees.  His hand gently brushed aside a few stray tendrils of hair from her face.  Softly he wiped the tears that had streaked down her temples.

            “What did I do?” he heard her whisper from her sleep induced state.

            Immediately his brow creased as he realized she was dreaming about their argument.  He felt like a jerk.  He hated how much he had hurt her.  He was upset over all of the things he had said to her.  JC wished with his whole heart that he could take back everything and start over.  All he wanted to do was find out who the man was.  The feelings of betrayal were not worth losing the one person who loved him unconditionally.  Yet, he had done his best to hurt her and remove her from his life.  How could he have been so wrong?

            Cautiously he placed his hand along side her cheek.  He allowed his thumb to lightly stroke her moist temple.  He whispered words to try to comfort her before she woke from the dreadful nightmare she was having.

            Her voice came out strained and broken as she whispered his name again.  He watched helplessly as she drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around her waist as she slept.

            “Abby?” he swallowed as he whispered her name.

            A quiet sob was the only response he received.

            “Abby, I’m here for you.  Please wake up, baby.”

            Suddenly JC felt a knot in his stomach and he drew in a deep breath as he tried to push back the emotions he was feeling.  He watched helplessly as her eyelids slowly fluttered open and she tried to acclimate herself to her surroundings.  JC forced himself to smile as her eyes landed on his face.

            “Hi.” His voice was weak as he muttered that one word.

            For a moment, she stared blankly at him.  Her last vision of him was one of anger and hatred.  Yet, as she gazed upon him, those were not the emotions she saw.  Still disoriented, she reached up with a shaky hand and allowed her fingertips to touch his cheek.  His eyes closed immediately at the sensation.

            “JC?” she questioned.

            “I’m here, baby.” He opened his eyes and met her gaze.

            “You were so angry with me.” A silent tear streaked down her temple again.

            He nodded.  “I was, yes.”

            Her hand fell to rest on her stomach.  “Why?”

            He could only look at her.  That one word held so much more than just a simple reason.  Yet, if he tried to put his feelings into words, they didn’t form.  If he were honest with himself, he couldn’t tell her what had been racing through him.  His mouth was dry and he found it difficult to speak.

            “JC, please tell me what I did?”

            His blue eyes were filled with pain at the recollection of seeing her in that restaurant.  He closed them to hide his feelings from her.  The back of the man’s head flashed in his mind.  The question of who he was came to light again.  He wanted to know who the man was and why she seemed so happy to see him. 

            “Abby, I…” his words were cut off by the sound of a creaking branch and then the loud crashing sound as it broke free of its host and crashed onto the roof of the cabin.

            A loud gasp came from Abby as she waited for the fallen branch to crash through the roof of the cabin.

            “It’s okay, baby.  The weight of the snow was probably too much for it.  We’re okay.  Luckily this place was built to withstand a blizzard.”  He chuckled.  “I guess we’re finding that out.”

            She waited for him to answer her question.  His eyes scanned her face and slowly he withdrew his hand from her face.

            With a cough, JC rose to his feet.

            “I’m going to get a few more pieces of wood for the fire.  I’ll be right back.”  He turned to head to the door.  As he reached for his leather jacket she called out to him.  He stopped.

            “I need to know, JC.  I need to know what I did.”

            He shrugged into his jacket.  “I’ll be right back.”

            Hurriedly he rushed outside, grabbed four pieces of wood and ran back inside.  The snow was still falling moderately and the pathway to the woodpile was nearly impossible to walk through.  His jeans were covered up to the knees in snow and his dark hair was white in the snowy blanket that had fallen on him in just those few brief moments he had been outside.  He carried the wood to the fireplace, set the pieces down on the hearth and picked up the poker to stoke the embers that were fading there.  Once he had stirred them, he placed two of the larger pieces of wood on them, and nearly immediately there were flames licking over the wood.  He brushed his hands off on his thighs and moved toward the kitchen.  Abby watched his movements silently, wondering why he was avoiding her question.

            “Would you like a sandwich, Abby?  I do have some peanut butter and some bread.  It could help us get through the night.”

            “Alright, JC.”  She answered quietly.

            He smiled and muttered his pleasure at her acceptance.    Within moments JC had put together two peanut butter sandwiches.  As he brought the plate into the living room area, Abby noticed that he had put some potato chips on the plate as well.  A large glass of water was in his other hand and he carefully set both things on the table.

            “Do you need help to sit up?” he asked.

            Abby shook her head and carefully brought herself to a seated position.  JC had cut the sandwiches in half and being ever the gentleman, he picked one half up and handed it to her.

            “Just a few bites, hon.  You don’t need to eat the whole thing.”

            Abby nodded as she accepted the sandwich.  Surprisingly, she felt hungry as she took the first bite out of the sandwich.

            “Is it okay?”  JC asked as he watched her chew.

            “Yes.” She managed through her mouth full.

            He smiled and continued to watch her.  He seemed practically mesmerized by the movement of her lips as she slowly ate the sandwich.  When her tongue snuck out to lick the corners of her mouth, he felt a longing deep inside him that he attempted to cover by coughing and running a hand through his hair.

            “What’s the matter?” she asked innocently.

            “Nothing’s wrong, Abby.  I’m just glad you’re at least eating something.  Would you like the other half?”

            “No, thank you.  I think this is enough.”  She slipped the last bite into her mouth and brushed her hands off on her lap.  As she swallowed the sandwich down, she reached over to retrieve the glass of water.

            “What time is it?” she asked as she brought the cool liquid to her lips.

            Moving his arm toward the nearby candle, JC struggled to check the time.  His eyebrows arched in surprise.

            “Wow, it’s really late.”

            “It is?”

            “Yeah, it’s two-thirty!  I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.”  He looked toward the window.  “I can’t believe the storm hasn’t died down at all.”

            Abby turned her gaze toward the same window.

            “I need to go home.” She told him quietly.

            “You can’t.”  He responded simply.

            Her brown eyes drifted to his face.  In the candlelight she couldn’t help but notice his chiseled features.  His blue eyes seemed almost hooded by his forehead and his appearance was nearly gaunt-like.  She struggled not to reach out and touch his face.

            “JC, you made it quite clear that I shouldn’t be here.  I think you’re really going to have to face the fact that I need to leave.”

            “Do you have any idea what it’s like out there?  I don’t think you do.  Abby, I could barely make it to the wood pile.  How in the hell do you think you’re going to make it home?  Baby, there’s no way you’ll even make it out of the driveway.”

            “I have to try.”

            “No!” his reply came out more stern than he intended and he saw her flinch at the tone of his voice.  Instantly, he placed a reassuring hand on her knee and apologized.

            Her look was instantly filled with confusion.

            “Now, tell me Abby, what kind of man would I be to let you leave this cabin at nearly three o’clock in the morning in a blizzard?”

            “You’d be the same man that told me fifteen hours ago to get the hell out of your life.”  Abby’s cold reply came quickly and without as much as the batting of eyelashes. 

            JC was visibly stunned.  He knew she was right.  He wanted to tell her how much he had changed his mind.  The self-doubt he felt was overwhelming.

            “Abby, you have to…”

            Immediately she raised a hand to silence him.

            “No, JC!  I don’t have to do anything except get out of here.  I have long overstayed my welcome and I am heading out.  Now, if you’d be so kind as to get my coat, I’ll be leaving.”

            “Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

            “Me?”

            “Yes, you!  You know the damned roads are impassible.  You know the snow is falling at a phenomenal rate.  Yet, you insist that you have to leave.  Get over it, Abby.  You aren’t going anywhere.”

            Her eyes widened at the display of attitude being tossed in her direction.

            “Did you just tell me to get over it?”

            JC nodded.

            “You are an arrogant, inconsiderate, self-righteous son of a bitch!”  Abby’s voice rose as her entire being filled with anger.

            “I don’t think so.”

            “Of course you don’t think so.  It’s you we’re talking about.  I wouldn’t expect you to see yourself as I do.  But, the fact remains, you threw me out of here.  You threw me out of your life.  What in heaven’s name makes you think I even want to be in the same room with you now?”

            His mind raced to find an answer.

            “I saved your ass!”

            “Oh wow!”  she gasped and grabbed at her heart.  “Oh thank you, kind sir!”

            “Don’t be a smartass, Abby!”

            A sardonic chuckle came from somewhere in her throat and she shook her head at him.

            “Do you honestly believe that because you brought me inside, even though I was unconscious, I’d want to stay here with you?”

            “I bandaged your head.”  JC’s tone was soft and unwavering.

            “Well, la-di-da!  A doctor would have done the same thing.  Why didn’t you just call for an ambulance?”

            “Because, firstly, the phone lines were down.  Secondly, I wasn’t going to wait for some freaking doctor to show up when I could easily take care of you myself.  And, thirdly, I wanted to take care of you.”

            “Oh, be still my heart.  You are a true knight in shining armor, aren’t you?” her voice dripped with sarcasm.

            “Abby, please don’t be like this.”

            “Don’t be like what?  Don’t be angry?  Don’t be hurt?  Don’t be utterly and completely fed up?  Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be any of those things.”

            “Abby, I fed you.”

            Her eyebrows arched in disbelief.

            “That’s it!”  she jumped to her feet.  “I am out of here!”

            JC rose to his feet and moved to stand in front of her.

            “I already told you, you can’t leave.”

            “I’m telling you, Mr. Chasez, you can’t stop me!”

            Without another word, JC reached out, took Abby by her shoulders and pulled her close to him.  Lowering his head, his eyes never leaving hers, he brought his mouth crashing down against hers.  His lips moved over hers, claiming them, making them his.  He felt her resistance.  She fought against him, strongly at first and then gradually relinquishing control over to him.  He felt her body relax as his lips moved against hers.  He heard a small moan come from her when he let his tongue press against her lips.  He felt a stirring deep inside him that he knew he needed to control, yet he felt helpless to do so. 

            She leaned into him.  Cursing herself, she felt her resolve weakening with each second that ticked past.  Her mind was telling her to push him away but her heart was telling her to grab on to him and hold him for all she was worth.  As her heart began to win, she brought her arms up and easily wrapped them around his waist. 

            Breathlessly, JC broke the kiss.  Lifting his head, he gazed down on her through lust-filled smoky eyes.  He stood motionless, waiting for her eyes to drift open.  Slowly, dark brown eyes met crystal blue eyes.  She was breathless, too.

            “That’s why you can’t leave, Abby.  I love you.”

You Don’t Have To Be Alone

Chapter 7

            Obviously stunned, Abby stared blankly at JC.  He released her and she fell limply to the couch.  Her mind was racing.  Several thoughts fleeted through her head as she tried to understand what had just happened.  She forced herself to look up at him; trying to convince herself that this was the same man that only hours before had told her he never wanted to see her again.  What was happening?

            He had surprised himself.  JC had no previous intention of kissing Abby.  He had forced himself to avoid making any physical contact with her.  Yet, when she had brazenly announced her plan to leave, he knew he had to stop her.  If he was honest with himself, he had to admit he had wanted to kiss her ever since the moment she first opened her eyes.

            Nervously, JC licked his lips.  He lifted his right hand and began biting his nails.  He fidgeted in place, pondering his next move.  He suddenly felt as if he was in a chess game, and the outcome depended on his choice of moves.

            Abby reached up and tenuously touched her lips.  They tingled from where his lips had brushed over hers.  The kiss had been breathtaking, stealing all of her senses.  She slowly licked them, trying to taste him, yet denying to herself that she longed to feel him there again.  Her eyes were wide as she looked at him, an unspoken question of what had happened hanging in the air between them.

            “What?” he asked, somewhat surprised.

            She simply shook her head.

            “I won’t apologize, Abby.  I wanted to do that.”  His statements were flat and simple.

            “You have no right.”

            He arched an eyebrow and cocked his head.  “I have no right?  Are you serious?”

            She muttered her sentence again.

“Abby, don’t you get it?  I just told you, I love you.”

Abby lowered her gaze.  She found it extremely difficult to even look at him.  He was confusing her.  He was making it hard for her to catch her breath.  She was trying with every ounce of inner strength not to cave in to his machinations. 

“Did you hear me?”  His voice was soft, yet insistent.

“Yes, JC, I heard you.”

“Don’t you have anything to say to that?”

“No.”

            JC was dumbstruck.  What was he going to do?  He had just told this beautiful creature that he loved her and she made no reply.  The sound of him sucking in a deep breath caused Abby to shiver.  She sensed his anger was near the brink and she feared that he might begin screaming at her as he had done earlier in the day.

            Instead, he slowly moved away from the couch.  He walked across the room and stood in front of the window.  The night sky was obliterated by the veil of heavy snow as it fell from above.  The wind howled and JC simply stood, staring into the nothingness of the night.

            An eternity seemed to pass before either of them found their voice to speak.  After thinking about all that had happened, JC knew he needed answers.

            Without turning to face her, he swallowed his pride and, keeping his voice low and calm he asked her the inevitable question.

            “Who is he, Abby?”

            His question caught her off guard.  She was confused.  Obviously he was talking about a man, but she had no idea exactly what man he was referring to.  When she didn’t respond right away, he asked her again.

            “Who is he?”

            She took a deep breath.  “Who are you talking about, JC?”

            “That man I saw you with.  Who is he?”

            She was confused.

            “JC, I’m not trying to be difficult here, but I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

            He chuckled.  “Why did I think you’d tell me?  I should have known better.”

            “Just what is that supposed to mean?”

            “Nothing, nothing at all.”  His tone sounded defeated.

            Abby rose to her feet and moved to stand behind him.

            “JC, what are you accusing me of?”

            He refused to turn around; even though the sound of her voice told him how close she was to him.

            “I’m not accusing you of anything, Abby.  I just knew you wouldn’t answer me if I asked you.”

            For a brief second, Abby lifted her hand to place it reassuringly on his shoulder.  Yet, just as she was about to come in contact with him, she retracted her hand and placed it back at her side.  Touching him would cause an all too familiar pain to race through her again and she wasn’t sure if she could handle that at this moment.

            “Excuse me, but I’m just asking you to explain what you’re talking about.  I have no idea who you saw me with or where you saw me with him.  Maybe if you gave me more details I could better answer your question.”

            “You aren’t going to tell me.  I know that.  You would have defended yourself earlier if you had thought it was of any use.”

            “JC, you didn’t give me any time to defend myself.”

            “You didn’t try.”

            She felt exasperated.  “I repeat, you didn’t give me any time.  You came in, all accusing, not giving me a chance to say boo.  How could I defend myself when you were screaming at the top of your lungs?  I had no idea what you were talking about then, and I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

            He shook his head.  “That’s pretty convenient, isn’t it?”

            Without hesitation, Abby raised her hand and smacked the back of JC’s shoulder.

            “Would you please turn around and look at me?” she nearly screamed at him.  It made her head ache to raise her voice that way, but she wanted to see his face as he made his accusations.

            He turned to look at her, his head cocked to the side as he squinted his eyes to meet her gaze.  At first he arched an eyebrow and then shrugged.

            “What difference does this make, Abby?” he asked as he stared at her.

            “I don’t know, JC.  I just know I can’t stand here and talk to the back of your head.  Now tell me what in the hell are you talking about?  What man did you see me with and where did you see us?” her tone conveyed the complete lack of knowledge Abby felt about the whole situation.

            He shook his head as he scoffed.  Why did it have to be so difficult?  Why couldn’t she simply tell him what he wanted to know?  He felt like he had to beg her to tell him the truth.  Deep inside, he resented that.  She had been his fiancée, she owed him an explanation.

            “You were the one person in my whole life I thought I could trust, Abby.  You were the one woman who I allowed myself to believe was different.  I believed in you; I believed in us!”  His shoulders slumped.  “Why did you do it?”

            Total frustration seized Abby.  She wasn’t reaching JC.  There wasn’t anything she could say to make him understand that she had no idea what he was talking about.  Immediately, she looked around the room, suddenly needing to know the time.

            “What are you looking for?” JC asked.

            “I’m looking for a clock.  What time is it?”

            “What time is it?” he shook his head.  “Who cares what time it is?  I thought we were working through something here.”

            “Forget it, JC!  You don’t get it.  I just want to know what time it is so I can get the hell out of here.”    

            She turned away from him and picked up one of the candles on the small end table.  Walking over to the far wall, she lifted the candle to the face of the wall clock and positioned it so that she could see the face. 

            “Damn it!” she cursed.

            “What?”

            “It’s only three forty-five.  It won’t be daylight for a few more hours.  It doesn’t matter.”  She said as she lowered the candle and set it down on the opposite end table.  Without another word she walked toward the front door and retrieved her purse from the chair that sat beside the door.

            JC was aghast as he realized what she was doing.

            “You can’t leave, Abby.  Think about the road conditions.”

            “You know what, JC; I don’t really care at this point.  I just want to go home.  I never realized how small this cabin is.”  She shrugged the purse onto her shoulder and reached for the doorknob.

            “And you’re going to leave without a coat?  Isn’t that what stopped you before?”

            Squeezing her eyes shut she spun around and opened them, anger radiating from the brown depths.

            “You make me so angry, JC!  I hope you know that!  Give me my damned coat and let me get the hell out of here!”

            He walked over to her, only stopping a few steps in front of her.

            “I can’t do that, honey.”

            “Then, I guess I take my chances, don’t I?” she reached for the doorknob, gave it a turn and pulled the huge wooden door open.  Briefly she turned back and glared at him.  “It’s been a real pleasure, JC!”

            She took two steps onto the snow-covered porch and instantly felt the vice-like grip of JC’s arm as it swung around her and pulled her back into the cabin.  Her back hit the wall of his chest and she felt him hold her tightly in place.

            “I guess you didn’t hear me, Abby.  I said I couldn’t let you leave.”

            “Let go of me!” she struggled against him.

            “No, Abby, I’m not letting you go.” His voice was low and calm next to her ear.

“Stop squirming.”

            “Stop telling me what to do!  You’re not my father!” she hissed.

            “Then stop acting so childish.  You know damned well the roads are impassible.  I can’t let you go out into the storm.  It’s not safe.  You’re not well.  We’ll wait it out.  I’m guessing that by mid-morning, things should calm down.”  The feel of her pressing against him reminded him all too much of the feelings he had deep inside him.

            Abby fought back the tears that burned behind her eyes.  It was Christmas Eve.  There was a raging blizzard outside.  She was with the one man she thought she loved more than life itself, yet he had her so confused she didn’t know if she was coming or going.  Almost immediately she stopped struggling against him.  He felt her relax within the confines of his arm.  With his free hand, he gently brushed her hair away from her face.  Her breath caught in her throat as she closed her eyes in an effort to steel her reactions to his touch.

            Without a word, JC pulled her inside the cabin and closed the door.

            “Now, if I let you go, will you please behave yourself?”  His voice was soft and coercing.

            Abby nodded.

            JC released his hold on her.  Quietly he stepped away from her and walked over to the end table.  The light from one of the candles was weak, telling him it had nearly burned itself out.  He reached beneath the table top, to a small drawer and retrieved a new candle.  Holding the wick from the new candle to the flame of the old candle, he watched as the wick came alive with fire.  Carefully he blew out the old candle and replaced it with the newer candle.

            “Come back and sit down, Abby.”  JC told her as he turned and found her still standing near the door.

            Exhaustion was finding its way into Abby’s head.  She felt weak and sleepy.  Her head ached and her stomach felt queasy.  Sadly she thought to herself “Merry Christmas”.  Without speaking, she moved to the couch and sat down.  Immediately she rested her head against the back of it.  Her eyes drifted closed and what seemed like a million thoughts began racing through her head.

            As she sat there, trying unsuccessfully to push all incoherent thoughts out of her head, she was unaware that JC had moved into the kitchen and was preparing two cups of tea.  He used a candle to light a flame on the stove and quickly heated the water he needed.  When the tea was ready, he carried the cups back to the living room and sat them down on the small end table.  The aroma of the tea drifted to Abby and she gradually opened her eyes.

            “French vanilla?” she asked.

            JC smiled and nodded.  “I looked all over and finally found it.  I knew how much you liked it.”

            “Thank you.”  She replied, a faint smile gracing the corners of her mouth. 

            He reached for one of the cups and handed it to her.

            “Be careful, hon.  It’s hot.” JC warned her.

            With her eyes closed she raised the cup to her lips and sipped the sweet concoction.  Almost immediately the tears she had been struggling to keep at bay began to silently stream down her cheeks.  The memory of the first time she had shared French vanilla tea with JC hit her hard.  It had only been the previous Christmas, and JC had found it in a small “mom and pop” grocery store on the route he had traveled from the cabin back to her apartment.

            Last Christmas seemed so long ago.  With her eyes still closed, she found herself wishing it was that time again.  She didn’t know if she would make it through this holiday or not.  All she knew was that the man sitting very close to her now was not making it one bit easy.

You Don’t Have To Be Alone

Chapter 8

            Warming rays of sunlight peeked through the cracks of the narrow blinds that covered the windows to the small cabin.  Slowly, Abby raised a tired hand and covered her still closed eyes.  Hoping that the light would be gone, she lowered her hand, only to be blinded by the brightness once again.

            With a groan, she sat upright and tiredly looked at her surroundings.  The fire in the fireplace was nearly extinguished.  Light filtered into the room through the cracks in the blinds, lighting the once dim room.  The candle beside the couch had burned out long ago.  JC was sleeping peacefully in the chair across from the couch.  For a brief moment, she contemplated walking over to him, touching his cheek and waking him with a tender, loving kiss.  In a better place and time, that’s exactly what she would have done.  Yet, after all that had happened, she now had no confidence to do that.  She feared the repercussions of her actions, should she decide to be bold enough to make a move toward mending their relationship.

            Instead, Abby stood up.  Taking the hem of her shirt, she pulled it taught over the curve of her hips.  She ran her hands through her hair, messy from sleeping on the couch.  Her eyes drifted toward the window.  Abby found herself wondering what the weather was doing.  She moved quietly and reached to part the blinds.  The glare from the sun was nearly blinding.  As she let her eyes adjust to the brightness outside, she blinked several times.  Within a few seconds, her eyes focused on the blanket of white outside.  She smiled at the sight.

            The winds had calmed, the snow had ceased to blow, and if she listened intently, she was certain that she could hear the low growl of a snow plow somewhere on the roadway below the driveway.  Abby turned to see if JC was still sleeping.  When she realized that he was, she decided to seek out her coat and make her leave.

            Forcing herself into the bedroom they had once shared, she found her coat hanging neatly in the opened closet.  She smiled; remembering how JC was always the neat freak, wanting everything hung up as soon as it was removed.  Absently she walked to the closet, grabbed her coat and slipped her arms into the sleeves.  Walking over to the dresser, she slid open the top drawer, found a pair of black gloves, and slipped them onto her hands.  Swallowing the lump that had mysteriously appeared in her throat, she made her way back to the living room, past the sleeping form of the man she was in love with, and to the front door.  She picked up her purse, opened the door and silently made her way outside.  With a gentle tug, she pulled the door closed and headed in the direction of her snow covered vehicle.

            Trudging through the knee deep snow was not an easy task for her slight form.  She was all too aware that if she slipped and fell again, she could totally be lost until the spring thaw.  She shivered as the snow fell into her shoes.  Abby cursed herself for not having boots.  She chuckled as she realized that she had made her way in a hurry, not having any intention of staying as long as she had, let alone getting caught in an unexpected blizzard.  Wistfully, she looked at the blinding white blanket that was spread before her.  In another time, this blizzard would have been a very welcome distraction.  She smiled as she thought about the scenario that could have been, if only things had been different.

            As she approached the huge mound of snow that her car lay beneath, Abby heard herself making little groaning noises as her feet became more and more soaked.  Undaunted, she moved to the same side of the car where she had fallen the night before.  Her eyes squinted against the brightness of the snow as she raised her arm and swiped at the thick coating of precipitation that covered her vehicle.  She shook her head as she barely dented the thickness of the white powder.

            “I’ll bet the skiers are in their glory.” She mumbled to herself.

            A loud sigh escaped her lips as she moved her arm through the snow again.  This time she made progress as the blue metal of the door peeked through at her.  The sight drove her on and she continued to brush the snow away from the window and door on the driver’s side of the car.  If she could just get to the door handle, she could open the door, grab the snow scraper and put her purse on the seat.  She knew that only a few more swipes and her goal would be reached.

            Reaching her goal, she wrapped her slender fingers through the door handle, squeezed the button and felt the door pull free.  A huge smile covered her face as she peered inside the car.  It was dark except for the overhead light shining down on the interior.  Immediately she tossed her purse over to the passenger seat and looked into the backseat to find the snow scraper.  She extended her arm across the seat, grabbed the scraper, and pulled it over the seat. 

            “I love you!” she told the inanimate object and nearly clutched it to her as she stepped back from the car.

            The slam of the door caused a large amount of snow to fall off of the vehicle, dumping more around her small legs.  Again she laughed to herself at her predicament.  She raised the snow scraper and began the arduous task of removing snow from as much of the vehicle as was possible.

            Slowly, JC opened his eyes and took in his surroundings.  The sun was shining brightly through the windows, telling him that morning had arrived as well as letting him know that the storm had ended.  He reached up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he stood to stretch his tense muscles.  His neck was stiff from sleeping in the chair.  He forced himself to do a few neck rolls in an effort to loosen up the taught muscles.  His hand came up and firmly massaged the back of his neck, trying to work out the knot he could feel at the base of his head.

            Suddenly, he stopped.  His hand dropped to his side and he eased himself out of his chair as his eyes searched the room around him.  The cabin was completely silent albeit the few crackling embers still glowing in the fireplace.  He didn’t see Abby.  He didn’t hear Abby.  His stomach tightened into a nervous knot as he tried to figure out where she could be.

            Not hesitating, he moved swiftly to the bedroom.  He hoped against hope that she had tired of sleeping on the couch and made her way to the bedroom and the much softer bed.  His heart could take that, but not the thoughts that were hidden in the back of his mind.  He eased the bedroom door open, and squeezed his eyes closed as he noticed the perfectly made bed.  She wasn’t there.  His eyes drifted in the direction of the closet, the door still ajar.  He walked over and opened the closet door.  Her coat was gone.  He hung his head and cursed himself. 

            Within seconds, his mind was racing as he hurried through the cabin to where his leather jacket hung beside the back door.  Hurrying over to the front door, he slipped the jacket on and quickly opened the door.  Looking down, he saw the tracks she had left behind in the fluffy blanket of snow.

            A curse flew from him as he decided he had to follow her tracks.  If the walkway to his cabin was this covered, he didn’t even want to imagine what the roads were like.  He could hear the faint low growl of a snow plow somewhere in the distance, but even if they were clearing the roads there, he had no way of knowing what condition other roads were like.  He knew he couldn’t let her travel yet, if for no other reason than her safety.

            Looking ahead, he spied her still working feverishly to remove the snow from her car.  He stopped short, watching her as she diligently tried to clear the windows so she’d be able to see the road ahead of her.  Her jeans were covered in snow and her cheeks were bright and pink from the crisp winter air.  He couldn’t help but smile as he watched her.

            “Going somewhere?” he cleared his throat as he drew her attention.

            She jumped, startled by his sudden appearance.

            “I’m going home.” She said in a matter-of-fact tone.

            “Do you think you’re going now?”

            She arched an eyebrow and looked around her.

            “Abby, be reasonable.  Look at the amount of snow that fell over night.”

            “So?”

            He thrust his hands deep into his pockets, his fingers feeling the nip of the cold air that encircled them.  Frustration seized him at her one word question.  He moved in her direction, hell-bent on making her understand the danger she was placing herself in.  He couldn’t understand why she had to be so stubborn.

            Just as he reached a spot only a few inches from her, she carelessly brought the snow scraper through the snow resting on the hood of her car and a huge clump of snow landed right in JC’s face.  Abby gasped as she saw what she had done.  JC immediately pulled his hands from his pockets and began wiping the moisture from his skin, muttering under his breath something about stupid, stubborn women.

            As he raised his eyes to meet hers, the unmistakable giggle that he knew was Abby’s echoed in his ears.  He leaned over, resting his hands on his knees, trying to decide what he should do.  She continued to giggle; a sound that actually took all the hostility out of his body and replaced it with a tranquil feeling.

            “So, you think this is all pretty funny, do you?”  He tried to sound angry, even though that was the last emotion he felt.  He kept his gaze downcast, adequately hiding any humor he found in the present situation.

            Abby raised her soaking wet, glove covered hands to her mouth to hide her gleeful smile, but there was no mistaking the laughter that sounded in her voice when she spoke.

            “No, JC.  I don’t think it’s funny at all.”

            He arched an eyebrow, lowered his hands to the snow resting around his feet and swiftly raised himself and his hands to toss the handful of snow directly at her.  Instantly, her hair and face were covered in the white, cottony softness of snow.  Abby allowed a squeal of surprise to fill the air around them.  She dropped the snow scraper immediately, and reached down to fill her hands with more of the snow.

            “Oh, JC, that was just mean!” she yelled as she returned fire by throwing more snow at him.

            He burst into a fit of laughter.  He bent to pick up more snow and stumbled forward, tumbling into Abby like some clumsy clown.  His arms shot out, circled her and the two of them hit the snow with a loud burst of laughter.  Abby was practically buried in the soft fluff as JC landed on top of her, his face only inches from hers.

            When his eyes connected with hers, his laughter subsided and a look Abby hadn’t seen on his face before startled Abby into silence.  It was then that JC knew what he needed to do.  Slowly, purposefully, he lowered his head.  His lips were moving closer to Abby’s.  His eyes were scanning her face, watching for some reaction that would make him stop.  He found nothing that told him not to take the first step.

            Slowly he closed his eyes as he felt the first contact of his lips against hers.  Her breathing was ragged from the bout of laughter only seconds before, and her breath felt warm against his cooled skin.  Softly, he let his lips meet hers.  Slowly they moved against hers.  Her eyes drifted closed as she felt the coolness of his lips against hers.  Almost as if guided by instinct, she raised her arms and circled his body, pulling him closer to her.  When he felt her holding him, he eased himself against her, lowering his body to rest against hers.  They were only aware of each other.  There was nothing else around them; there was nothing else that mattered. 

            A soft moan came from somewhere inside Abby and JC heard it.  He kissed her harder.  He felt a longing, a desire, deep down.  He was suddenly all too aware of how much he truly loved this woman and how he knew he could never live without her.  His passion flowed forth in the kiss, his lips pressing more intently against hers, his tongue sneaking out, tracing her lips, begging permission to pass the barricade her lips were creating.  Instinctively, her lips parted under his assault and this time it was JC who moaned.  His hands came up to cup her face.  His thumbs stroked along her cheekbones.  His body ached to be with her. 

            Reluctantly, JC broke the kiss.  He was breathless.  His eyes were smoky and clearly filled with want.  Abby’s breath came in shallow gasps as she opened her eyes to gaze upon the man who had stolen all reason from her brain.

            “JC.”  Her voice sounded weak and faint to her ears.

            He silenced her by placing his index finger gently over her lips.  A gentle shake of his head told her not to speak.  He winked and offered her only a small hint of a smile.  When she noticed how his eyes crinkled at the sides, she knew he was feeling a happiness she hadn’t seen in him for quite some time.  Softly, she kissed the tip of his finger as it rested against her lips.  In that brief instant something passed between them that neither had ever experienced before.

            Easing his finger away from her mouth, JC pushed himself away from her.  He stood and offered her his hand in an effort to lift her from the blanket of snow that lay beneath her.  Gratefully she accepted his hand and allowed him to help her stand up.  A gentle tug pulled her small body close to his.  Her eyes never strayed from his as he lowered his head again, tenderly tasting her lips one more time.

            Stepping back from her, he took her hand in his and nodded toward the cabin.  At first Abby seemed reluctant.  She glanced toward the cabin, then at her car, and then back toward the cabin.  Uncertainty suddenly filled her.  She felt it.  It felt like a fear she had never experienced before.  Panic began to rise up inside her.  She tried to retract her hand from his hold.

            “Don’t, honey.  Please don’t pull away from me.”  His face was full of sincerity. 

            “JC, I don’t…”

            “Shhh.  Abby, honey, please come into the house with me.  I’ve made a mistake; I’ve made a horrible mistake.  Please, I can’t let you go.  I, I, I…”

            Abby stared up at JC, her eyes full of doubt as she listened to his pleas.

            “I love you,  Abby.  I love you so very much.  I can’t let you go.”

            He watched as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.  She hesitantly shook her head as she heard his words.

            “I do, honey.  You’re my world, my life!  I can’t live without you.  I was a fool to tell you to get out of my life.  I let my stupid male pride take over.”  He turned and took both of her trembling hands into his.  Her skin was cold to his touch and he knew she needed the warmth of the cabin.

            “Please, Abby, don’t leave me.”  His voice broke as his own eyes became moist with tears he feared to shed.

            “But…”

            “No ‘buts’ about it.  I was stupid.  I was a fool.  I was a moron.  But, I’m not anymore.”  He stepped closer to her, pulling her hands up to rest against his chest.  “My eyes have been opened, Abby.  It took me nearly losing you to realize what I had.  But, see?  I know now!  I know what I had in you, and I can’t be without you.  It can’t be too late.”  Suddenly he was filled with fear.  His blue eyes widened as the thought he was about to speak filled him with dread.  “Oh, God, Abby, please tell me it isn’t too late!  Please tell me I haven’t lost you for good.  Please!”  He swallowed hard as he waited to hear her answer.

            The first traitorous tear slipped from beneath her lashes.  Deep inside there was a part of her that still felt the need to run away.  It was the part that remembered all of his earlier anger.  It was the part that remembered his hurtful words.  It was the part that heard his voice echo over and over in her mind, telling her to get out of his life.  Her gaze drifted down to stare at the snow covering her feet.

            “Abby?” he whispered.

            Her heart was breaking.  Her heart still loved JC.  Her heart still needed JC.  Her heart still ached to be with him.  Her heart was afraid.

            “I …” she hesitated.

            “What?”

            “I can’t.” her voice broke as more tears slipped down.

            He was stunned.  His mind was screaming out the one word, “no”.  Abby couldn’t hear it.  How was he going to let her go?

            “Abby, I’m begging you, please.  Please, won’t you just give me one more chance? Won’t you let me try to explain what I felt like?  Please, Abby, please, don’t walk away from me.”

            Her head remained downward.  The tears streamed down her pink, cold cheeks.  Words escaped her. 

            “Honey, listen to me.”  He knew he had to explain.  “I don’t know who that man is I saw you with.  All I know, is now, I don’t give a damn about him.  I love you.  I’ll do anything to win you back from him.  Tell me what I have to do, and I’ll do it.  All you have to do is name it.”

            Abby’s gaze lifted and her tear dotted lashes blinked back a new barrage of tears.

            “What man are you talking about?”  She said very succinctly.

            “The man I saw you having lunch with, Abby.  I was in the restaurant with Chris.  We were talking and I looked across the restaurant to see some man, some tall fair-haired man, arrive at your table.  You seemed so happy, Abby.  I watched you get up, kiss him and then sit back down.  You were so animated as you talked to him.  He seemed to make you so much happier than I ever could.”  His gaze drifted away from hers as he recalled that fateful afternoon.  “I don’t know who he is or what he has to offer, honey.  But, I do know that I love you and I’m willing to do anything to win you back.”

            Abby reached up to touch JC’s cheek.  Her hand was trembling but when he looked down at her, her heartbreaking smile was not what he expected to see.

            “You silly, silly man.” Her voice was soft, almost like a caress to him.  “You threw me out because of him?  Oh, JC, you don’t even know him.”

            “I don’t need to know him.  I just want to make you happy like that.  I can’t lose you, Abby.  I just can’t!”

            “I’m cold, JC.  I think it might be a good idea to go inside.  What do you think?”

            Visibly stunned, JC nodded.  Wiping the tears from his eyes, he took her hand again and guided them to the cabin.  Pushing the door open, he simultaneously kicked the snow away from the threshold to give her a safer pathway to walk through.  As she stepped inside, she stopped and looked directly into JC’s eyes.

            “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

            She turned and went inside, not giving him a chance to answer.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 9

Silently, JC stood in the doorway as Abby made her way back to the couch.  Without a backwards glance, she sat down and rubbed her chilled hands together.  Her eyes wandered toward the fireplace and she noticed that the fire was all but extinguished.

“JC, I think we could use a little more firewood.  Would you like me to get it?” she asked sweetly.

“No, honey, I can get it.  It’ll just take me a minute.”  He seemed totally confused. 

Abby wasn’t angry.  She wasn’t making demands.  She wasn’t crying any longer.  She seemed totally calm and in complete control.  JC wished he could say the same for himself.

Absently he walked to the back door, opened it and went outside to round up a few logs to put on the fire.  With an armful, he reentered the cabin, closed the door and made his way over to the hearth.  He laid the wood there, grabbed the poker and began stirring the embers, hoping to reignite a few small flames.  As luck would have it, the embers danced to life.  He quickly grabbed three logs, set them on the newfound flames and pressed them into the ashes in an effort to help them ignite.  Within seconds, he had new flames licking their way over the pieces of wood he had brought in.  Brushing his hands against his jeans, he stood and turned to face Abby.  When she patted the cushion next to her, he hesitantly moved to sit beside her.

“In all this time, you’ve allowed the image of another man to cloud your judgment.  Do you know that?”

JC nodded.

“You do realize that we’ve been together for two years, don’t you?”

Again, he nodded.

“What did I do to lose your trust, JC?”

“My trust?” he was thoroughly confused.

“You immediately assumed that because I met a man for lunch I must have been having an affair with him.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“JC, you asked me to get out of your life.  What else could it have been?”

JC made no response.

“I’m going to tell you who that man was.  You may not believe me, but I’m going to tell you anyway.  I’m not doing this to make you feel like a fool or to make you feel stupid, or anything like that.  But, I do want you to understand, we have nothing if we don’t have trust.”

He nodded once more.

“On that afternoon, the blonde man I was having lunch with was bringing me a Christmas gift.”

“Oh, great!” JC spouted.  “It’s not enough he’s stealing my girl, but he’s bribing her to do it?”

Abby giggled in spite of the situation.

“JC, he wasn’t bribing me.   Don’t be silly.  He was bringing me a Christmas gift for you.”

“What?”

She nodded as she arched both eyebrows.

“I don’t even know him, Abby.  I think you’re going to have to try harder than that if you want me to believe this.”

“Oh ye of little faith.”  Abby laughed.  “JC, that man is Jonathan Jones.  Have you ever heard of Jonathan Jones?”

Abby watched as his eyes darted about, recognition of the name suddenly coming to him.

“The jeweler?”

Abby nodded.

“Why were you meeting Jonathan Jones?  Abby, he’s quite an exclusive jeweler.  I’m not trying to be mean, but I don’t think you could afford his merchandise.”

Abby shook her head. 

“That’s why I was meeting him, JC.  I was searching for something for you for Christmas.  I wanted something unique.  So, I went to Lance and asked him to help me figure out what to buy you.  He put me in touch with Jonathan.  The man was wonderful, JC.  When Lance explained my situation to him, and told him I needed something affordable for you, he was more than accommodating.”

“Oh, I’ll just bet…”

Immediately Abby raised her hand and a scowl creased her brow.

“Don’t you dare say it!”

JC stopped instantly.

“That man was more than willing to help me, JC.  Lance and I explained who I was buying for, what I was hoping to find, and how much I could spend.  He didn’t even hesitate.  He told me he had something in his store that fit the bill, and he immediately took care of it.  When you saw us, he was delivering it to me.  He gave me your Christmas present.”

A smug look covered her face as she watched JC sitting in stunned silence.  When his eyes wandered up to meet hers, she nodded.

With his elbows resting on his knees, JC dropped his head into his hands.  His fingers splayed in his hair and his emotions raced through his head.

“I’ve been such a fool, Abby.   I had no idea what you were doing.  I automatically assumed the worst.  I put you in that category of cheating women.  I accused you of anything my mind could conjure up, just so I could walk away from you.  I said awful things; things I didn’t even mean.  I knew you weren’t in this for money!  I knew you weren’t this evil person I was accusing you of being.  I just had to create something so horrible I’d be able to walk away from you.   I didn’t trust you.  I didn’t even give you a chance.”

Setting her hand on his leg, Abby gave him a little squeeze.

“Then give me a chance now.”  Her voice was soft and the inflection in her tone was clearly sexual.

Blue sparkling eyes darted up to meet smiling brown eyes.  Abby winked when she saw the surprised look on JC’s face.  Leaning over, she placed both of her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back against the couch.  She immediately moved in closer and brought her face to within mere inches of his.  With her eyes clearly focused on his mouth, she allowed her tongue to slip between her lips and make a slow, deliberate swipe from one side to the other.  She arched an eyebrow and a playful smile graced her lips.  Playfully, she leaned in and planted a tiny kiss on his lips.

“Abby?” his voice was suddenly husky to his own ears.

She raised a finger to silence him and placed it softly against his lips.  Then she slowly shook her head.  He leaned in and kissed the tip of her finger.  When she smiled, he issued a little lick up the inside of her finger.  A shiver raced down her spine at the sensation.

            Easing herself over his hips, Abby straddled him, settling her weight on his lap as her eyes remained locked on his.  His hands came to rest on her hips and she lowered her finger away from his mouth.  She felt his thumbs resting beneath the hem of her shirt, softly touching her skin that peeked out above the waistline of her jeans.  Slowly he let his hands slide under her shirt and upward until he was caressing her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.  Sliding her hands over his shoulders, she brought her hands together behind his neck.  Her mouth covered his and her lips moved over his with the passion of two lovers nearly lost to each other.  His hands were firm against her skin and he held her close as his mouth parted for her as her tongue sought refuge deep within his mouth.  She felt him shift beneath her and the intimacy of the contact caused another shiver to race down her spine.

            Lifting her head to break the kiss, JC wasted no time in sliding her shirt over her head.  The short rapid breaths coming from her were echoed by JC as his hands slid over the silky smoothness of her skin.  The feel of her beneath his hands aroused sensations in him that he wasn’t sure he was ready to handle.

            “I’m so sorry, Abby.  I was such a fool.”  His eyes scanned her face.

            “Does that mean you believe me?” she asked with a faint smile on her face.

            “I never should have doubted you.  Can you ever forgive me?”

            Removing her hands from behind his neck, she let them drift down to the hem of his sweater.  Hooking her thumbs into the hem, she began to pull it upward.  She winked and he lifted his arms to help her rid him of the bindings of the fabric.  “I think we could work on that.”  She winked again as a small giggle filled the room.

            Before JC could settle back against the couch, he gripped her by her waist, turned her over and pushed her down onto the seat cushions of the couch.  He lowered his head, and kissed her lovingly on the flat plane of her stomach as his fingers found the snap closure and zipper of her jeans.  She lifted her hips to help him slide the pants from her slender legs.  His breath caught in his throat as he looked down on her slim figure, clad only in pale pink lace lingerie.  He brought his hands up to lovingly caress her body.  With tenderness and love, he touched her as if it were their first time together.  He wanted to memorize every inch of her.  He needed to know the texture of her skin in every nook and crevice of her body. 

            Abby never closed her eyes as she allowed his hands to love her as he once had done.  Her hands roamed over his back as he became reacquainted with her all over again.  When he touched on her sensitive zones, she raked her nails up his back, causing him sweet pain.  JC lowered his head and began caressing her body with his mouth.  She whimpered when she felt his tongue sneak out and taste between her breasts.  With his knee, he pushed her legs apart and nestled between them, the rough fabric of his denim jeans chafing sweetly against the smoothness of her inner thighs.

            Slipping her fingers into his hair, she encouraged him to lift his head.  Reluctantly his blue eyes looked up at her.

            “JC?  Make love to me, please?”

            She heard the low guttural moan at her request and she quickly nodded to assure him that he had heard her correctly.  Within minutes, he had them both completely naked and he poised himself at her opening.  His eyes sought hers as he desperately needed the reassurance that this was what she wanted.  Panting and nearly gasping for breath, she nodded to him and pressed her hands against his back to pull him closer to her.  As she felt him press his engorged member against her opening, she raised her hips, pulling him deep within her. 

            Abby moaned his name as she felt him penetrate her deeper than ever before.  She wrapped her arms around his back and hooked her legs around his thighs, hanging on for fear he’d disappear into thin air like a mirage.  JC started a slow, sensuous rhythm.  He wanted to make it last.  He wanted it to be special for her.  He wanted Abby to remember this moment for the rest of her life.  But, without a warning, Abby began moving her body in a frenzied manner.  She wanted JC.  She wanted all of him.  She couldn’t wait.  Her heart had won out over her mind and all the love she felt for him came spilling out in the moment their bodies joined as one.

            Their joining was wild and wanton.  They were two lovers, two people who had wandered far from one another only to find their way back to each other.  They were meant to be together.  Both of them felt it.  Both of them knew it.  Both of them needed to show it.  JC loved her body, worshiped her very being.  He whispered words of love and affection with every thrust he gave to her.  She returned each action with one of her own, telling him over and over how much she loved him.  And when at last she could contain herself no longer, she screamed his name to the heavens and only smiled when he did the same for her.

            For long moments, they lay together, naked bodies entwined, arms around each other, sweat trailing down shoulders and brows.  It was only after his breathing had returned to some bit of normalcy that JC even attempted to lift his head and look down on the beautiful woman beneath him.  With gentle, loving hands he brushed her hair back from her face.  His hands framed her face as he stared into her brown eyes.

            “I love you more than life itself, Abby.”

            “I love you more than life itself, too, JC.” 

            Lowering his head, he placed a loving kiss on her lips.  When he lifted his head, concern filled his eyes. 

            “Are you crying?” he asked.

            Abby could only nod.

            “Why?  What did I do?”

            “No, JC, it’s not that.  They’re not sad tears.  They’re happy tears.  I’m just so happy.  I was so afraid I’d lost you.  I was so afraid you were gone from me forever.”

            “Oh, Abby, I’m so sorry.  I never meant to hurt you.  I just didn’t understand.  I really think my stupid mind got the better of me.”

            “I shouldn’t have tried to go behind your back, JC.  I just wanted to surprise you.”

            “I shouldn’t have doubted you, Abby.  I knew you loved me.  There should never have been a question in my mind.”

            Abby smiled.  “Well, actually, if you’re honest, there should have been one small question in your mind.”

            JC looked confused.

            “Don’t you want to know what it was that caused so much trouble for us?”

            He chuckled.  “You bet I do!  Are you going to tell me?”

            “Well, I know how much you love those big, clunky watches.  I was able to get Jonathan Jones to make you one up that’s got a square face, great big numerals on it with a pale blue opalescent face and a royal blue watchband on it.  And on the back, he engraved it.”

            JC arched an eyebrow.

            “It says,” she cleared her throat.  “To JC, the only man I’ll ever love, Abby.”  Immediately tears sprung to her eyes.  Her emotions were raw and on the surface. 

            Fighting his own emotions, JC enveloped her in the warmth of his embrace and held her close.  The inscription told him everything he needed to know.  The woman he was holding close to him at this very moment in time was the only woman he would ever love. 

            After they got their feelings under control, JC eased himself away from her.  He gathered up his clothes and slipped into his briefs and jeans.  Picking up his sweater, he handed it to Abby, allowing her to sit up and slip it over her head.  Nervously, she pulled her hair from the collar and curled her legs beneath her as she watched him.  Carefully, he sat down beside her.  He clasped her hands between his and looked deep into her eyes.

            “Abby, if I never tell you another thing, I have to tell you this.  You are positively the most beautiful woman in the world.  I am so honored to love you and to have you love me back.  I’m sorry I was such a fool, and if you can forgive me, I want you back here, beside me, right where you belong.”

            It felt like an eternity had passed as JC waited to hear her response.  Her eyes searched his face.  Nervously, she licked her lips.  He felt her hands tremble as he held them.  He watched as she swallowed hard, searching for the words that were escaping her.

            At first Abby only nodded.  Confusion filled JC’s eyes and Abby knew she had to find the words he was waiting to hear.

            “There is no where else I want to be, JC.”  Her voice was hoarse as she tried to speak.  “I love you with my whole being.  When I thought I had lost you, I didn’t know how I was going to go on.  You ask me if I can forgive you.  I don’t even have to think about it.  I love you, JC.  I love you so much it hurts.  I can’t even imagine being with anyone else ever in my whole life.  You are my whole life.  This is where I want to be, forever!”

            An audible sigh of relief surged from him as he finally found the breath he had been holding.  He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.  She had forgiven him.  She loved him.  She was here with him.  At last everything was right in his life.

            “Abby, this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.  I love you, honey!”

            “I love you, too, JC.  I love you, too.”

            Abby allowed her eyes to drift closed as JC held her close.  His soft kisses warmed her and the feel of him so near made her feel secure.  She heard his voice rumble in his chest.  It was low and nearly inaudible.  She listened intently, unable to discern what he was saying.  Lifting her head, she brought her eyes up to meet his.  A sweet smile lit his face as she at last heard the most wonderful sound ever.  He was singing.  He was singing to her.  He was singing her song.

            “I don’t know when we fell apart.  The love that we had was like a work of art.  I used to see heaven in your eyes.  And angels are falling from your skies.  The things we said were so wrong, and I haven’t held you for so long.  My foolish pride turns me inside, why did we tell all those lies?  You can reach for the phone. You don’t have to be alone.” 

            Tears of happiness streaked down her cheeks as she kissed his chest and nestled into his warm embrace, certain that the love they shared would never be harmed again.