Kiki Giselle Lewis

Justin Randall Timberlake

Marissa Miller

Nina "Nima" Lewis

Derek Miguel Lewis

Maya Carmen Lewis

Tami Monté

Frederick "Freddy" Lewis

Eating lunch at Olive Garden with one of her best friends, Kiki was startled when out of nowhere a newspaper ad was placed in front of her.

 

Los Angeles Open Auditions for Justified Tour start October 7th

 

“What’s this?�

“That’s an amazing opportunity you cannot miss.� Marissa responded. “A chance for you to be a part of Justin Timberlake’s solo tour.�

Marissa Miller had been friends with Kiki Lewis since she transferred to Stevenson’s Sr. School of Arts sophomore year as dance major. She had firsthand knowledge of the talent her friend possessed. Even though Kiki had become more of a teacher than a performer, she couldn’t let her pass up this chance.

“I would do it in a heartbeat if I wasn’t starting my Master’s. You’re more than capable of doing this. Plus you need some excitement in your life Kik. You’ve been way too wrapped up in work lately.�

“It’s my company. What else am I supposed to do? I can’t keep leaving all my responsibilities on Kevin’s shoulders. I’ve graduated, it's time I start running my own business full time.�

Kiki was the owner of KeyKey West: an all-inclusive health club, spa, and dance studio in Santa Monica. For the past four years while she was getting her MBA at UCLA, the director of operations, Kevin Burke had been running the business for her. When she graduated in May, she came on board full time as the assistant director, and a fitness/dance instructor. She couldn’t bail out on her staff after a four year absence.

“See that’s the beauty of this, I already talked to everyone, including your students and they all agreed that this is something you should to do. We all know how talented you are and that you would be great in something like this.� Marissa implored. “We worked out a schedule already so all your shifts and classes are covered. You have absolutely no reason not to go for it.�

Kiki picked up the ad and read it over again. If Kevin could run things on his own again and her classes were covered, all without burdening anyone, then there was no reason for her not to at least try out. There was no guarantee she would actually make the cut in the first place. People all over the country would be trying out for this tour.

She wasn’t really a fan of ‘N Sync back in the day, but of course she had seen them perform and Justin Timberlake was definitely talented. His solo act was probably top-notch, meaning the quality of the work would be awarding. But what mattered most was she would be doing what she loved most - dancing. Day in and day out she would be dancing, and her life hadn’t strictly revolved around that since high school. She missed the times when the only thing she did or thought of was feeling and expressing her love for music.

“Come on Kiki, you know you want to do it, I can see it in your eyes.� Marissa cajoled.

Kiki smirked because at this point she was already thinking about clearing her schedule for October 7th and maybe even for the majority of the following year.

“Okay…..But first I need to talk to everyone at the club myself. If they’re all okay with me taking a leave – I will try out for the tour.�

“Yay!� Marissa knew that was basically a “yes� since there wasn’t anyone who wouldn’t accept her decision. “Oh this is so exciting. Oh my gawh, we gotta tell Tams! We totally have to get together and choreograph an audition piece for you.� She rambled as she dug through her purse looking for her cell to call their best friend and break the news. Kiki was the best dancer out of all of their friends and they had been waiting for her to do something professional like a tour or a music video. “Uh oh, my girl is going to be tearing up stages all over the world, shaking her booty with that fine ass JT. He’s single now too, you might be able to pull that. Mend that broken heart he’s supposedly sporting.�

“Yeah right, Mr. ‘N Sync and I? He does nothing for me.� Kiki lied while nibbling on a bread stick.

“Yeah okay.� Marissa rolled her eyes still searching for her cell. She had heard Kiki agree to the boy’s finest in conversation before. “Watch you make the cut and you two hook up or something. Never say never.�

“Whatever.� Kiki rhymed, not even entertaining her delusion.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Driving back to work, Kiki’s mind was racing with all the pros and cons of joining a tour. She had a full staff of people whose livelihoods she was responsible for on a full time basis now. She had made a commitment to a partnership with Kevin and she hated going back on her commitments. She never made them unless she was serious and determined to see them through. She felt like auditioning would be like compromising herself. But on the other hand, it would be fun being a part of a production again if she made the cut. The last act she was a part of was the Pussycat Doll show and after almost three years, she retired her corsets and fishnets when she graduated. That was only four months ago, but truthfully, she missed performing. There was thrill in dancing for a crowd, but her love for teaching had always been the driving force in her career.

Her dream of showing others her same appreciation evolved into something bigger with KeyKey West and she was proud of her accomplishment and ready to take charge. She was a businesswoman now. Nevertheless, since she was young and till the day she died, she was a dancer to the core. No dancer passed up a chance like this. In her heart, Kiki knew the decision was already made. Now she just needed to wrap her mind around it.

When she arrived back at the club, she was greeted by her front desk staffer, Jodie. The college sophomore, who was ordinarily a cheery girl, was now bouncing off the wall when she spotted her.

“Oh my God Kiki, I am so excited for you. You are going to be awesome and you are so lucky you get to like live with Justin Timberlake.� She swooned over her celebrity crush. “He is so beautiful, you are so lucky.�

Kiki just shook her head as she walked over to the message box to see if she had anything in her slot. Obviously, Marissa and her big mouth had come straight here, a whole hour before she had to teach her class, and told everyone that she had agreed to audition.

“I still have to make the cut, Jo, so don’t go making any plans for me to play matchmaker for you.�

“You not make the cut? Yeah right. They’d be crazy not to pick you.�

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.� She scanned her messages quickly. “Is Kev here?�

“He’s in the business office.� She answered over her shoulder as she rang up a bottle of water for a member.

The business office was where billing, payroll and all the other paperwork was done. It was also where the conference room was located and connected to the employee lounge. It was the ideal place for Marissa to be front and center while telling anyone who cared about her decision.

“Nothing’s set in stone.� Kiki interrupted as she walked into the room.

“You better do it because the schedule we put together is set in stone.� Kevin smiled at her. “Why wouldn’t you do this?�

She looked at them remorsefully, feeling a little burdensome. “What about you guys?�

“We’ll be fine without you, everything is covered.� Jade, her membership director, assured.

“We know you feel like you’re abandoning us, but don’t feel that way. We’re fine with running the show again, but we won’t be and neither will you, if you don’t take this opportunity. You’ll just end up regretting it.�

He was right, she would regret it if she didn’t at least audition. Kiki took a deep cleansing breath as her mind finally gave in to the choice her heart had already made.

“You might as well just say yes because if you don’t, I’ll just bitch and moan until it drives you crazy.� And Marissa had a special talent for bugging the shit out of someone.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it.� Not a second after she finished her sentence, a filled registration form was in her hand. “What the hell?�

“All you need to do is sign it.� Convincing Kiki to audition had been a plan in the works for some time now. Appointing herself front man for the job because of her persistence, Marissa had everything taken care of, registration fee included, so she couldn’t say no.

“Where’d you get my social Rissa? Been snooping through my personnel file?�

“Nope, Nima gave me all the information I needed.�

Nima, was the name that Kiki’s closest friends called her mother.

“My mother knows about this too? What was this some big conspiracy against me?�

“I gave her heads up that she would be the last resort in convincing you to audition. When I called her on my way here, she told me to tell you that if you didn’t sign this - don’t think about coming to the house looking for free meals anymore.� Marissa informed her. “So sign it and I’ll put it in the mail right now.�

“Well seeing as I’ll be shunned if I don’t.� Kiki grabbed the pen she offered her and signed her name. “Done.�

“Great.� Marissa folded the form, stuffed it in the stamped envelope, and trotted off to the outgoing mailbox.

“Happy now?� Kiki asked the remaining two with an attitude. “I gotta go get ready for class.�

She was walking out as Jade scoffed. “Don’t act like you’re not happy.�

Facing them once more, a big grin spread across her face and she started doing the cabbage patch in excitement. They laughed as she kept on dancing out the room until the door closed. Now that it was done, she was thankful for the push from her friends and family.

 

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Although she had her own condo to go home to and cook dinner, Kiki was on her way to her parents’ after work, like most nights. And she wasn’t the only one; her parents' house was still very much home to her older brother and sister. On more days than not, all three of the Lewis children made an appearance back home especially around dinner time.

 

Kiki’s parents, Nina and Frederick Lewis, lived in the same house in San Monica that they brought when they moved out to California twenty three years ago. They met as freshmen at the University of Central Florida. Frederick was a naïve of the state majoring in pre-law and Nina was a social science major, studying abroad from Acapulco, Mexico. Frederick had been assigned as her mentor due to his fluency in Spanish. It was love at first sight and during his last year in law school, Frederick asked Nina to marry him. A month after he passed the bar, they married.

Two years later they welcomed their first child, Derek, and when he was a toddler, Frederick was promoted to partner at his firm’s LA branch. Two more years passed before the family was complete with two more children, Maya and Kiki.

The Lewises were a very close knit family. Carrying on the traditions from their families, Nina and Frederick raised their children to respect and cherish their family bond. The Lewis children grew to be friends as well as siblings, and were very protective of each other. Like all families, they had their moments of disharmony, but they always made up and were always there for one another. Throughout her life, Kiki depended on her family a great deal and they were always there when she needed them.

 

Climbing out of her BMW, Kiki approached the front door and could hear music playing. She smiled thinking how some things never changed.

Growing up, music of all genres, English and Spanish, was always playing in their home. It greatly influenced her own love for music and her mother was the one to introduce her to dance.

Nina Lewis was a seasoned Latin ballroom dancer. In addition to her job as a social worker, she was a part time instructor at a Latin dance studio in the city. When Kiki show an interest in dancing, Nina enrolled her in ballet classes. She was a natural, seeming to inherit the same talent and passion as her mother, excelling in her classes. When she was eleven, she started broadening her horizons, taking more modern dance intensives. Set on having her life revolve around dancing and nothing else, her parents enrolled her in Stevenson’s Sr. School of Arts.

As she grew older, Kiki discovered her love for teaching. She would assist her instructors at the dance studio where she took classes and made the decision to become an instructor when she became oder. After graduating from high school she planned to go to ULCA and get her MBA so she could operate her own dance studio.

When she was fourteen, Nina’s parents, who were rather wealthy, died in a car accident. Since her mother was their only child, they left all their assets to her and her family; money, stocks and bonds, and their hacienda. She and her siblings inherited a college fund along with a trust fund to use at their discretion. For Kiki, her trust fund included an empty building in Santa Monica. They left her the deed and a letter telling her to follow her dream of having her own studio. With her father overseeing the project, renovations started when Kiki was sixteen and two years later, a month after she graduated high school, KeyKey West open their doors and had been going strong ever since.

Only eighteen years old at the time, she didn’t know how to run a business so Kevin was hired to manage the club while she was in school getting her degree. The more knowledge she gained in school, the more involved she became in her business and once she was certified, she also started teaching classes. A few months ago, when she got her MBA; which took a lot of hard work year round since high school – taking AP courses and summer courses. She and Kevin entered their partnership. He had worked so hard building up the club, she wasn’t about to take it away from him so they joined forces to run the business together.

Her family played a big part in keeping KeyKey West afloat as well. He father served as the club’s lawyer, keeping the business in line legally, and using his connections to mold the club. He knew how great her dream was and supported her 100% through the whole process, taking time out of his busy schedule to help. Nina and Derek also used their connections as an instructor and athletic trainer to find staff members for the club. And Maya, a fashion designer, created a lot of the club’s promotional material and pro-shop gear. They all banded together to give Kiki her dream and she would always be grateful for having a family that gave her that kind of love and support.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“Mamí! Daddy!� Letting herself in, Kiki looked toward the back of the house and could see her mother moving around the kitchen. “Mamí!� Her mother still couldn’t hear her over the music, so she turned the volume down on the stereo. “Hi Mamí.�

“Oh, hijita, you scared me.� Nina startled, holding her hand over her chest to calm her racing heart.

“You knew I was coming over.� She said as she kicked off her shoes in the hall closet. “And blasting that music like that, any ol’ person could walk up in here.�

“Oh be quiet you’re just as bad.�

 

“I know.� She snickered and walked to the stove to give her mother a kiss on the cheek. “What are you cooking?�

“Depends.� She continued stirring the mixture in the skillet. “Did you sign that form?�

“Sí traidor. It’s been signed and is traveling somewhere through the postal system as we speak.�

“It’s about time you let the world see how talented you are.�

“I guess I was just waiting for the right opportunity, but I didn’t think it would come so soon. I thought I’d be able to establish myself as an active owner of Key first.� She hopped up to sit on the island counter, munching on some chopped vegetables.

“You have your whole life for that baby. You are blessed with loyal friends and a family that has no problem holding down the business for you while you take this chance.�

“I know Mamí, that’s why I’m doing it.�

“I’m proud of you.� She turned towards her so Kiki could see that she meant every word. “I bet you already have a routine planned. I know how fast you get one in that head of yours.�

“I got some ideas. Marissa, Tams and I are getting together tomorrow to start working on one.�

“Hey brat.� A familiar deep voice suddenly sounded from the side door.

“Hi ugly.� She looked down the basement stairs to see her brother walking in with her sister-in-law behind him. “Hi Rhea.�

"Hi Kik. Hi Nima.� She came over to kiss Kiki then Nina on the cheek. “Yum paella.� She cheered inhaled the delicious aroma.

“Where you been?� Derek asked, pulled Kiki off the counter in a head lock and the two began to tussle. “Don’t know how to call nobody.�

“Hey that goes both ways.� She broke out of the hold and pushed him away. “I figured camp had started.�

“Starts next week, but we’ve been busy prepping.� Derek was an athlete trainer for the LA Lakers and the season would be starting in the next month. “How’s the club?�

“It’s good.�

“You sister’s taking a leave of absence soon. She’s auditioning for a music tour.� Nina interrupted.

“Really?� Rhea beamed. “It’s about time. What tour? Who’s the singer?�

“Justin Timberlake.�

“No way. Aw he is so hot.�

“Yeah well he’s a good performer, so I think it’ll be worth it.� The two talked as they sat at the kitchen table cutting up the vegetables for the salad per Nina’s instructions.

“Did you tell Pop yet? You know how he gets about you and My being away from home.� Derek had a point.

When Maya was studying fashion abroad in Italy for two years, their father was a grump and totally paranoid until she came back. He probably would be worse with Kiki, being the baby and all.

“Last time I checked I was an adult, so it doesn’t really matter if he gets mad or not.�

Just in case, Kiki was ready to battle it out with her father just like they had when she accepted the position as a pussycat doll. To no one’s surprise, he and Derek the only ones in her family that had a problem with her new job. Kiki blew Derek’s protest off and he eventually got over it. But after an explosive argument about how “degrading� the act was, she and her father didn’t talk for weeks. Frederick caved first, knowing Kiki wouldn’t budge and missing his baby, he accepted her decision. He promised to respect that her life was just that - hers - and no matter what he would always be there for her.

“He’ll get over it.� Nina stated firmly. If she had anything to say about it Frederick would most certainly get over it.

“The shipment goes out next week. That piece has got to be ready by then so it can be a part of the collection. Okay?.....Yeah…. Alright…. Bye.� The voice of the last Lewis child to arrive, drifted through the house following the closing of the side door. “Ooh, hermanita. I’m so proud of you. You are going to steal the show.� She mushed her brother’s head in passing and greeted Rhea first with a hug. She took off her blazer and put it up in the closet then came back into the kitchen. “So you excited?�

“Kind of. It hasn’t really sunken in yet. I still have to go through the audition anyway.�

Maya scoffed in disbelief. “Like you’re not going to make it. Hi Mamí.� She hugged her mother and was promptly shooed away when she tried dipping her fingers into the skillet for a taste. “Where’s Daddy?� She sat next to Derek at the island bar and helped herself to some of the paella he had been able to nab from the stove.

“Probably stuck in traffic. It was picking up big time before we got off.� Derek mumbled around his mouthful of food.

“Yes, he called before you all started showing up.�

“Speaking of.� Maya piped in. “Ready to tell Daddy about your news?� She gave her little sister a challenging grin.

“As a matter of fact I am because unlike you, I’m not afraid of him.� Derek started snickering and Maya stuck her tongue out at him.

While Kiki was the most rebellious of the three of them and butted head with their father plenty of times. Maya was a total daddy’s girl and absolutely hated when their father was upset with her. Kiki and Derek teased her relentlessly about it.

Just then, the front door was heard opening and shutting.

“You better have my CD with you.� Derek said, being the first to see the new arrival coming down the hallway.

“Shit.� Tami winced. “I’ll give it to Kik tomorrow. Hi everybody.� They all greeted the adopted Lewis.

 

Tami Monté was Kiki’s best friend and had been since they first met at the age of three in a ballet class. They were the only two Latina girls in the class and found an immediate comradery behind that. It didn’t take long for them to get to know each other and the two had been inseparable from that day on. They both shared a common love for music and dance at a young age and later attended Stevenson’s together. Tami grew to be more of a musical comp aficionado. She loved to analyze the lyrics and arrangement of music and as a result, she became a music journalist. After graduating from UCLA as well, she was hired as one of the music journalists for Entertainment Weekly.

After eighteen years of friendship Tami was as much a sister to Kiki as Maya. She was thought of as another sister and child to the whole family.

 

“I thought you were having dinner with your mom?� Tami usually did dinner with them, but Kiki knew she was here tonight especially, to talk about the tour.

“With her new boyfriend? No thanks. The dickhead.�

“Tami.� Nina scolded her language.

“Lo siento Nima.� She amended with a kiss on the cheek.

 

Tami was an only child and had been raised by her single mother after her father left them when she was a baby. By the time she was four years old, her mom was a serial dater, and in between her current flavor of the moment and working, it left very little time for Tami. As a result, she spent a lot of time at the Lewis house. Nina was like a second mother to her and Frederick was the father she never had. In fact, she was the one to create the name “Nima�, a combination of Nina and Mama.

 

“You and I have business anyway.� She said, sitting at the table next to Rhea.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve been given the Finally speech like a million times today.�

“Actually I was going to say that when you finally do something, you sure do it big.�

“How’s that?�

“This tour is the talk of my department. You have the lead singer in one of the biggest boy bands going solo and the best voice to come out of pop music in a long time joining forces. You are going to be part of a very big, very hyped production.�

Everyone glanced at her wondering if she would show some sign of intimidation, but found none. She just shrugged nonchalantly.

“That just means it’ll prove I’m the shit when I make the cut.� She smirked as she got up from her seat and walked out of the room with a cocky strut all the way to the bathroom.

The truth of the matter was, she was a little apprehensive. She had a feeling the tour would be big, but hearing Tami talk about the buzz surrounding it was a little scary. The audition wasn’t a concern, either she made it or she didn’t, all her hopes weren’t ride on it. Now if she made it, she wondered if she could deal with the pressure of her first professional production of this caliber. But despite her worries, she was going to face the challenge head on.

When she left the bathroom, she saw that her father was home and was standing in the kitchen doorway. Feeling childish she took a running start and jumped on his back. She was little and her father was a sturdy man, but he still let out an “oof� of surprise when she landed.

“Whoa there. Take it easy. Old man here.� He joked.

“Oh whatever.� She hopped off his back and ducked under his arm to hug his waist.

“Hey short stuff.� He kissed the top of her head. “I hear you have some news.�

“Yeah, but you gotta promise you won’t get all bent out of shape about it.� She stepped away from his side so she could face him with her “please Daddy� face on.

He stood straight to brace himself. “What is it?�

“I signed up to audition for a national, maybe even worldwide tour.� All Frederick did was take a deep breath and Kiki saw it as a sign he wasn’t going to blow his top. Yet.

“It’s a great chance for her Freddy and Kevin agreed to look over the club so she has no reason not to go.� Nina added to help smooth things over. The last thing she wanted was her stubborn husband and equally stubborn daughter arguing over the dinner table tonight. It had been awhile since they had one, and she was not in the mood to referee tonight.

“I’ve already decided to go if I make the cut.� She confirmed with a defensive tone, ready to go toe to toe with her father.

Everyone including Frederick heard the tone clearly and interpreted it precisely. She would fight him on this if he protested. All the spectators wondered if his silence was the calm before the storm, but Frederick had no plans to engage in an argument with his daughter.

"When you make the cut.� He stated, voicing his support of her decision.

Happy that her next endeavor wouldn’t create friction between her and her father, Kiki launched herself into his arm, hugging him tight. “Thank you Daddy.�

“Believe it or not I have accepted that you guys are adults, responsible for your own lives.� He addressed all of his children, biological and adopted. “But it’s not going to stop me from worrying about you.�

They all smiled at the love and respect in his words and Derek, ever the goof ball, cried out. “Aww Daddy I love you!� and theatrically threw himself into his father’s arms.

“Get off me boy.� Frederick laughed and with a shuffle of his son’s head, he pushed him away. “So what’s for dinner?�

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

In the month before the first round of auditions started, Kiki, Tami and Marissa spent all their spare time preparing. In addition to her friends’ input, some of the dancers from the classes Kiki taught added their own touch to create a flawless routine for her. It was a completely innovative performance laced with modern and classical elements, showing off her skill and versatility. By the time the audition came around, Kiki was more than ready.

 

A week after making it through the first round of auditions, Kiki walked into the designated room at Millennium Studios for the final round. It was eight in the morning, but auditions didn’t start for another hour. A combination of nerves and wanting to get a good stretch in before she danced, had her walking into the room early.

 

“Guess I’m not the only one.� She muttered under her breath as she took in the crowded room.

 

Shrugging off the inquisitive looks and sneers from the surrounding dancers, she made her way over to an empty spot against the mirrored walls. Dancing could be a rather cutthroat business when it came to auditions. She was quite familiar with the competitive nature of the profession, having witnessed friends backstabbing each other for a part in a ballet or a position on a dance troupe. Kiki loved the art too much to turn it into something negative by being bitchy or conniving. So she usually kept to herself during auditions and watched her back to avoid getting caught up in any games to eliminate competition.

 

Suddenly a shadow overcastted her, interrupted her musing. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t my Kiki girl.�

 

Hearing her nickname that only one person used, her head shot up. “Alex!� She leaped up from the floor and threw her arms around her best friend.

 

She, Tami and Alex had been the three musketeers, thick as thieves since the two girls met him their freshman year at Stevenson’s. They were always together until Alex, a year ahead of them, graduated and went off to NY to attend Julliard, eventually setting up permanent residence there. Even though they were on opposite sides of the country, the three of them were determined to stay close and Alex made sure that if he wasn’t cast in a production, he came home as much as possible.

 

Like Tami, Alex was much more than just a best friend to Kiki and her family. While Tami had a mother who neglected her, but Alex’s home life was much worse. Especially when he came out to his family his sophomore year of high school. His father beat the crap out of him and he was kicked out of his family, disowned. Bruised and heartbroken, he went to Kiki’s house for refuge and was welcomed and accepted with open arms. Nina and Frederick took him in, giving him one of the guest rooms and treated him like their own. He eventually asked them to help him get emancipated. They agreed and Frederick represented Alex through the proceedings.  The emancipation was granted three months later, sadly without protest from the Velezs.

 

After his 16th birthday, Alex decided to move out of the Lewis’ house despite everyone’s protest. He had always been an independent person and he wanted his own space. Kiki’s parents helped him find a suitable apartment; however, the places they looked at were too expensive for him to afford with the part time job he had as a waiter, but anything in his price range was deemed unsuitable by Nina. Since no one challenged Nima, Alex agreed to let the Lewises pay his utilities and half the rent on a nice studio apartment they found or else they would make him move back in.

                                                                         

Over time it become a running joke that instead of bringing home stray animals Kiki brought home stray friends. But her parents were fine with welcoming any of their children’s friends into their home. They had plenty of love and support to give to those who needed it. 

“Oh my gawd. You asshole you’ve been in town and you didn’t call anyone?� She smacked him in the arm.

 

“Calm down. I just got in last night. I figured it would be a nice surprise when I showed up here to audition too.� He had submitted a video for the first round because he was out of town working at the time. When they called him for the final audition, they sent him to LA and he wasn’t about to argue with any opportunity to visit home.

 

She giggled and started bouncing on her toes. “I can’t believe you’re here.�

 

“Isn’t this awesome? We’re gonna be touring together.�

 

“We gotta make the cut first.� He tilted his head and gave her a “give me a break� look to which she rolled her eyes.

 

“Wouldn’t it be cool if they partnered us up?�

 

She perked up even more. “Yeah! We haven’t dance together in years.� She cheesed and wrapped her arms around his body. “I missed you Alex.�

 

“I missed you too sweetie.�

 

Their reunion was cut short when the choreographer Marty, and two other judges walked into the room clapping to get everyone’s attention.

 

“Alright everyone, it’s time to start the final round of auditions. As you all know, we will be picking only five out of the thirty that are here today. You thirty came from over a hundred during the first round, so you gotta step up your game once again if you want to be one of the five chosen.� Alex squeezed Kiki’s hands, signaling his faith that they were going to be two of the five. “We’re going to break you up into six groups of five. Every group’s going to dance together and then each person will perform the routine individually. After your group is done, you are free to go and we will contact you in a matter of days to let you know the results.� He scanned the group of dancers as he talked. “So any questions?� Receiving no response he continued, “ok then let’s get started.�

 

Kiki’s group had gone before Alex’s, so she waited for him in the lobby. Almost an hour later he came out, cheesing. It was obvious he felt good about his audition. Kiki felt confident about her performance too, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. The others in her group were definite competition and no doubt those outside her group were good as well.

 

“That was amazing.� He exclaimed, excitedly. “I know it had to be even better for you since its bee awhile.�

 

“It was a nice blast from the past and I think I did really well, but the competition was steep.�

 

“You used to say that all the time and you always ended up being the best to audition.�

 

“I don’t know, you said it yourself it’s been awhile. I might be a little rusty.�

 

“Shut up. Stop being so modest.� He pulled her up from the couch she was sitting on. “Come on, let’s go home and we can start getting you packed. I shudder to think about the atrocious outfits that have accumulated in your closet without me around.�

 

She smacked his stomach as he dragged her out the studio.

 

 

 

A week later, both Kiki and Alex received a call from Marty. In February, they would be going on tour together.

 

In November, rehearsals for the tour began. On the first day at WEG, all eight of the dancers meet for the first time. Kiki and Alex immediately clicked with two of them from New York, Tori Jones and Gina Haadas.  The others were just as cool and everyone was getting along great. Justin and Marty were the last to arrive and the group of ten spent a few minutes introducing themselves.

 

 

To Justin, it looked like he had himself a decent crew of dancers. It was his first time seeing most of them in person. He wasn’t present for the LA auditions because of some appearances he had to make, but he had handpicked the three dancers from the NYC auditions. He hoped they all could handle his high expectations. A few of them were new to this game and he didn’t want any screw ups. One misstep today and they were gone.

 

While he knew he should give them the benefit of the doubt, he wasn’t in the positive mind set he wanted to come into the first meeting with. The argument that he had with his publicist this morning was still running through his head and it didn’t make for a happy Justin.

 

It wasn’t his fault the media had made a big deal out of him and Alyssa. They hadn’t been some certified couple, they just dated casually. Now that they had gone their separate ways, his PR team wanted to talk damage control. For what? It would be a waste of time and there were more important things that he had to concentrate on. He did have nationwide tour to prepare for.

 

Despite being preoccupied by his irritation, Justin did take notice of the curly brunette named Kiki when she introduced herself. He remembered seeing her profile when they were making the final cut.  She was cute and Marty had commented that she was one of the best in the group.

 

We’ll see if she makes it through today before I believe that, he thought.

 

 

 

When Justin walked into the room, the first thing Kiki thought was how the camera did him no justice. He was much cuter in person and very tall. He towered over her barely 5�5' frame.

 

Tall and sexy, she said to herself, but quickly vanished that thought. Lusting over the boss could only lead to trouble.

 

He seemed a little stand-offish though. She expected him to be much more welcoming.

 

Maybe he’s just shy around new people, she figured.

 

 

 

When introduction were done, Marty announced their partnerships for the tour. Kiki was surprised to hear that she was chosen to be Justin’s partner. That meant she would be front and center on stage. It was a little overwhelming, but nothing she couldn’t handle.

 

Justin was just as surprised. Why would Marty give him a newbie as a partner? While everyone was partnering up, he followed to his choreographer over to the stereo where he was setting up the music and questioned him about his choice.

 

“Trust me dude. I would not put her with you unless she was that damn good. And she is. She may not have been on a tour before but she’s had plenty experience. Not to mention she can move, plain and simple.� He explained that she was the only one he had seen with enough charisma for a front runner, stamina to keep up with him and she mimicked his style the best. “Just try it out. If by the end of the day, you’re not happy with her - we’ll switch out. Gina’s been on tour before and you pick her yourself. I don’t have any problem dancing with Kiki if you don’t want to.� He smirked. He couldn’t deny the fact that she was hot played a factor in his decision to choose her for the tour.

 

Justin snorted. “Alright. I’m going to trust you.�

 

“Good. Now pick some warm up music.�

 

For about fifteen minutes they went through the routines they had to do during auditions for warm up. Once Justin’s music was queued, it was nonstop practice for an hour.

They were all breathing hard and sweat was pouring from their bodies when they took their first break. A cooler full of bottled water was popped open in the back of the room and they were disappearing fast. They reconfigured and went at it again until it was time for the next break. It was a vicious cycle, but no pain no gain right?

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

By the time rehearsal was over, they were all exhausted, but felt good about the progress they had made. They got through two full routines and had all the steps down pat.

 

Justin was in a much better mood now that he saw the great potential in his dancers and in particular, his partner. He could see for himself now why Marty had paired them up and he was more than happy with the pick. They moved together perfecting and hardily made any mistakes. He wanted to give her a job well done, but when he went to talk to Kiki as they were wrapping up, she blew him off.

 

 

The way he treated her when she approached him for the first time, left a bad taste in Kik’s mouth and she didn’t particularly want to play nice.

 

*************************************************************************************************

 

“Ok now its time to get to the good stuff.� Marty stood in front of the group after warm up, grinning and rubbing his hands together like some evil scientist preparing to exact some sort of torture on them.

 

“Good cause that shit was child’s play.� Ralphie quipped.

 

“Yeah okay, now we know who’s gonna be limping out of here at quittin’ time.� Marty volleyed back and tittles of laughter spread through the room. “Anyway, time to partner up.� He instructed and ran over to the stereo while everyone got in their assigned pairs.

 

Seeing as they would be getting up close and personal, Kiki felt another introduction between her and Justin alone would be in order. She thought it would help them feel more comfortable with each other.

 

“Hi I’m Kiki.� She stood in front of him with a smile and an extended hand.

 

‘Hadn’t they already gone over this?’ Justin said to himself. It was time to work, so he ignored her friendly gesture and with a jerk of his head, he told her. “Turn around.�

 

At first, Kiki frowned at his rude response before indifference fell over her face and she got into place as he said.

 

She couldn’t believe him. He couldn’t even introduce himself and treated her like she was something he stepped on.

 

‘He’s not shy. He’s just an asshole,' she thought. If this was how he was going to be, she didn’t care to be around him any more than she had to. 'This partnership will be strictly business,' she fumed.

 

************************************************************************************************* 

Unaware of the bad impression he had made, Justin took her snub as a sign that she was a stuck up bitch. He decided to not even bother with trying to talk to her and to keep his distance whenever they weren’t working.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

No matter how much the pair desired to be far away from each other, they knew that was impossible. They were literally on top of each other on a daily basis. Plus being Justin’s dance partner called for Kiki to have to spend one on one time practicing with him sometimes. Their only option was to stay completely professional with each other. The music came on and they did their thing, but as soon as it was off, they went their seperate ways.

 

Initially, the only things they said to each other pertained to work, but as time went on they started getting into little spats. Justin couldn’t resist getting her ire up and would take jabs at her from time to time. And no matter how hard Kiki tried, she always had to snap back.

 

 “Oh gosh when are we gonna be done? I’m so tired.� Kiki said more to herself than anyone else, but of course Justin had to respond.

 

“If you can’t hack it maybe you should go home.� He smirked.

 

“Maybe you should shut up ‘cause I wasn’t talking to you.� She smiled condescendingly at him and walked away to chat with Tori and Alex while they were on break.

 

The crew would just sit back watching them, laughing at their stupidity. Poor Marty had to play referee so many time that some days he’d just let them go at it. As long as it didn’t interfere with work, which it surprisingly didn’t. They still danced together perfectly, nailing routine after routine.

 

Each day usually involved Kiki venting to Gina, Tori and Alex over lunch while Justin was doing to same with Trace and Marty. They were both questioned by their friends about why they put up with it.

 

“I’m not a quitter especially over an asshole like him.�

 

“I can’t get rid of her. She may be annoying, but she's a fuckin’ awesome dancer.�

 

What Justin and Kiki weren’t saying was that despite the animosity between them, they were strangely attracted to one another. Physically they were exactly what the other looked for, their chemistry when they danced was undeniable and they seemed like cool people when interacting with others. But Put them together and they always clashed.

 

Regardless, their animosity and attraction continued to build. It was only a matter of time before things exploded.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

That explosion happened about two months into rehearsal. Stress levels were high among the whole crew, mainly because of Justin. He was copping major attitude and being very bossy. For a week now, everyone had been dealing with his bitching about how things weren’t “perfect�, but being his partner and favorite target, Kiki was taking the brunt of it.

 

On this particular day, he was at his worse and she was fed up. She could only hold her tongue for so long and she wasn’t going to put up with disrespect or bullshit from him anymore, employer or not.

 

"You know what I'm tired of this shit, I'm trying to work. I take this very seriously so YOU need to focus.� Kiki's sudden outburst had everyone stopping in their tracks and the music was put on hold. This was the first time one of their spats ever interrupted work, but some of them thought it was about damn time. Justin seriously needed to chill this time around. “I'm hitting all my marks and you know it. YOU’RE the one that keeps messing up."

 

Justin was fuming and in shock that she was putting him on the spot. He knew that she was right though, today was just an off day for him and he couldn’t focus. He was usually on top of his game, but he wasn’t about to admit to his faults, especially to her. He was about to remind her who she was talking to when she cut him off before he could get his tyrant out.

 

"You should know by now that I am not about to take any bullshit from you.� She had her hands on her hips and her neck was rolling. Alex knew that was a sign she was ready to rip into him. “So you need to seriously check who you’re talking to, I know you’re my boss and you could fire me for this but I am not going to sit here and let you try to blame me for your screw ups." She finished to dead silence, feeling everyone's eyes on her, but she didn’t care. It had to be said.

 

The silence was broken by clapping hands from someone in the back of the room. Every head turned to watch Lynn Harless approach the dueling couple.

 

She had come to the office to talk with Johnny about some new updates with the touring itinerary and Justin was taking her out to dinner after rehearsal. She decided to go down to the studio to meet his dancers and see how things were coming along. She walked in at the perfect time to witness her son act like a complete brat and his partner put him in his much needed place.

 

"Well said, young lady.� Lynn addressed Kiki with a proud nod and then turned to Justin to give him a glare that clearly said it was her turn to lay into him for his behavior. “Justin, can I talk to you for a moment in private please?" Not giving him the chance to argue, she turned around and headed for the door leading to the hallway.

 

He had no choice but to follow his mother, his head held down slightly like a scolded little boy going to face his punishment.

 

As soon as the door closed behind him, the silence ended as everyone cracked up laughing.

 

“Busted by his mama.� Sky guffawed with Marty and Trace.

 

“That’s what he gets for being an ass.� Kiki gloated, giggling at the embarrassment she was sure he was feeling.

 

A few minutes later, he came back with a pout on his face and all he said was, “let’s get back to work so I can get the fuck out of here.�

 

 

 

Another day of rehearsal was done and everyone scattered to go home for a shower and a good night’s rest before it started all over again tomorrow.

 

Kiki was walking toward the front entrance with Alex when Lynn approached her. She was afraid Lynn was going to go off on her for what she said to her son. But once Alex left them alone, Kiki was surprised when she apologized for his behavior.

 

“No it's okay Ma’am. You don’t have to apologize…..That asshole should.� She quickly covered her mouth when she realized she had said that out loud.

 

Lynn just laughed. “It’s okay sweetie. That’s exactly how he was acting.� She pardoned her comment. “I’m Lynn Harless by the way.�

 

“I’m Kiki. Kiki Lewis.� The two shook hands and stood there casually chatting.

 

When Justin walked off the elevator coming from his office, he saw his mother and Kiki talking. Deep down he was thrilled that his mother seemed to like her. It was important that any girl he was interested in got along with his mother. Realizing what he was thinking, he squashed it and slid on his mask of distain towards Kiki as he called out to his mother that he was ready to go.

 

Wrapping up their conversation, Lynn told Kiki. “I’ll be visiting from time to time during the tour, but until then you keep my son in check. Don’t back down from him, okay?� She admired her for standing up to Justin, who she knew had grown full of him self. He needed someone new around who wouldn’t stand for his attitude.

 

“Yes Ma’am.�

 

“And you take care of yourself, honey.� She hugged Kiki and even though it was unexpected, the gesture was welcomed. Lynn was very nice and motherly, and Kiki couldn’t help but like her. It amazed her that this woman could raise a jerk like Justin.  “It was very nice meeting you.�

 

“You too Mrs. Harless.�

 

“You can call me Ms. Lynn honey.�

 

“Okay. Enjoy your dinner.� She said as the two began to walk in opposite directions.

 

“He’s paying so I will.� She informed her with a chuckle. “Bye Kiki.�

 

“Bye Ms. Lynn.� She waved before she rejoined Alex who was waiting for her at the entrance.

 

When Lynn reached her son, she said pointedly. “She’s a nice girl.�

 

He just grumbled and hooked their arms together, leading her to the back exit where his car was parked.

 

For his 22nd birthday, Justin decided to throw a party for himself at one of the current hot spots in LA. At first, he hadn’t planned on doing anything special this year. It wasn’t a big milestone birthday that he had to go all out for, but the idea was already in his head so he decided to just go forward with his plan. He needed a celebration to help decompress from all the stress he’d been under lately.

 

It was going to be a small affair. He wanted to be able to kick back and relax, not run around schmoozing with people he didn’t even know. The guest list he put together only consisted of family, close friends and his touring crew, which included Kiki. He wasn’t that much of an asshole to invite everyone, but her.

 

Kiki however, refused to go until Alex and Gina convinced her come at the last minute.

 

“Hello! Its open bar. Drinks are on him.� Gina tempted her and it worked.

 

“In that case, I’ll go. And I’m going to get completely trash tonight.� She would try her damnedest to personally run up his bar tab as high as her body allowed.

 

 

Kiki, Alex Gina and Tori arrive at the club together and were sent to VIP where the party was being thrown. At first they didn’t see any familiar face and they floated around until they spotted Trace and Sky standing by the bar talking.

 

Making their way towards the guys, Kiki thought to herself how funny it was that Trace was best friends with Justin yet she actually liked him. Same thing with Marty and they liked her as well. What was even more amusing was that instead of being mad at her when she insulted Justin, they were usually the first to start laughing their asses off at their friend’s expense. It made her like them even more.

 

Coming up behind Trace, she slung an arm over his shoulder. “Hi Tracey.� She cheesed as he groaned at her choice of nicknames.

 

“Hiya Kik.� He wrapped an arm around her to give her a hug. “Hey guys.� He and Sky clutched hands with Alex and gave hugs to Tori and Gina. “I’m surprised you came Kik.� He grinned knowingly. He figured she’d rather be caught dead than attended Justin’s party.

 

“And miss the free drinks? I think not.�

 

The female in a trio approaching the group called Kiki out. “Freeloader.�

 

Recognition came over Kiki, and she and Tami jumped into a hug.

 

“Alex.� Tami exclaimed and wrapped him up in a hug.

 

“What are you doing here?� He asked her. How did she get into this party and why didn’t she say anything about coming when they mentioned going?

 

“Well I came with my boyfriend.�

 

“Boyfriend?� Kiki and Alex asked at the same time.

 

“Guys this is Joey.� She pulled him to her side and both of their jaws dropped when Joey Fatone wrapped his arm around her waist. “This wasn’t the meeting I expected between you guys, but what the hell. Joe this is Kiki and Alex.�

 

“Hey it’s nice to finally meet you guys.�

 

He was smiling at them, but Kiki and Alex kept staring without saying a word.

 

“Finally?� Alex was the first to speak. “How long have you two been dating?�

 

Tami shrugged coyly. “About three months. I know I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t want to jinx it.� They had met while she was in NYC for a work conference and he was still in the cast of Rent. They clicked immediately.

 

“Wow.� Kiki had been silently studying the couple, especially Tami and she could tell her best friend was happy. And that was all that mattered. “Wow. Tami’s got a boyfriend. I’m so happy for you babe. It's nice to meet you too Joey.� She offered her hand for a shake and when he took it, she dug her nails into his skin.

 

“Ow.� He tried to pull his hand away, but she had a pretty good grip on him.

 

“Hurt her in anyway and we will kill you.� Alex stated with the same creepy smile Kiki was sporting as they stared him down.

 

“I understand.� And he did, he had a sister himself.

 

“Good then its nice to meet you too.� Kiki let go of one hand while Alex grabbed the other to shake.

 

As Joey was rubbing the ache out of his bruised hand, a deep laugh sounded from the person next to him. When Kiki saw him, once again her mouth fell open.

 

Joey chuckled at her expression, knowing from Tami that she would react this way when she met his friend. “Kiki this is my boy JC. C, this is Tami’s sister, Kiki.�

 

For the first time ever, Kiki was star stuck and acted like a twitchy teenybopper. “Wow I know I probably look like the biggest dork right now, gawking and everything. I usually don’t freak out like this – but I don’t care.� She rambled with a big smile on her face. “Because I crushed on you big time back in the day.�

 

JC laughed. “Yeah Tami said I was the only one in the group that you actually liked.�

 

Joey started pouting. “You didn’t like me?�

 

“Well you came in second.� She shrugged. “Especially with the red tips. Loved that.� He winked at her and popped his collar.

 

When Kiki was done going ga-ga over JC, Alex introduced Tori and Gina, and Trace introduced Sky to the group. They chatted with everyone for awhile until Sky whisked Tori away to the dance floor and Gina went to find Ralphie. Trace also disappeared to do some prowling. The remaining five found and empty semicircular booth to settle at more comfortably and continued talking. Tami and Kiki left momentarily and came back, each with a rack of test tube shots. They did a couple of rounds, getting a good buzz going.

 

Next to leave was Alex. He took off to jump in between Tori and Gina when he saw them dancing together.

 

“Sometimes I question if he’s really gay. The way he gets all excited about being in the middle of a girl sandwich.� Tami contemplated as they watched Alex having a hella time getting freaked by two females.

 

“It’s vagina envy.� Joey and JC stuttered at Kiki’s statement before they each started laughing with her.

 

Tami watched her boyfriend and best friend having a good time together and she saw it as a good sign that they were getting along. “I told you she was crazy.� She told Joey.

 

Kiki definitely had a great personality and both Joey and JC were enjoying her company. The same could be said for Kiki. JC was just the complete package, he was hot of course, but he was also very nice and comical. She had been paying close attention to Joey specifically and he had a very cool, but sweet personality. It spoke volumes for his suitability for her best friend. He definitely had her approval already.

 

“Okay its time to take an alcohol break.� Kiki put her umpteenth empty test tube back on the rack. “And do some dancing.�

 

“Wait for me.� Tami threw back her last shot and caught up with her. “Guys come on.�

 

 

From across the room where he was chatting with some of his guests, Justin had been watching the exchange between his best friends and Kiki. And he couldn’t control the sneer on his face. She was running around his life charming everyone, winning over his mother and his closest friends, yet she treated him like shit. He couldn’t stand her.

 

 

The quartet was tearing it up on the dance floor as Kiki and JC danced together in front of Tami and Joey. Tami just shook her head at her friend and the mile long smile on her face.

 

She leaned over to speak in Kiki’s ear over the music. “You are such a dork.�

 

“I don’t care ‘cause I’m dance with JC.� They giggled and suddenly spun around each other, switching partners.

 

 

The party raged on throughout the night and despite their efforts, Kiki and Justin eventually ended up in the same vicinity together Now that they were among mutual friends. To keep the peace, they choose to ignored each other and enjoy themselves.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

The morning after, Kiki was awakened by her cell phone going off on her night stand. Slightly hungover and groggy, she answered it. It was Tami calling to invite her and Alex to come out the brunch with her and the guys. Kiki agreed even though Tami had warned her Justin would be there. She wasn’t about to let Justin Timberlake keep her from spending time with her friends, new and old. Getting off the phone she ran into the guest room to wake Alex.

 

“Alex. Are you up?� She flipped on the lights and the lump under the covers jerked.

 

“Turn the fuckin’ lights off!� He bellowed and she scrambled to do as he asked.

 

“Sorry.� She climbed into the bed and peeked under the covers. “Are you ok?�

 

“Hell no.� He moaned in pain and she put her hand in the little air pocket he made to make sure he didn’t have a fever.

 

“Going to eat with Tami and the guys is out for you huh?�

 

“Hell yes.�

 

“Ok. I’m gonna go get ready, but I’ll come and check up on you before I leave.� She put her head through the pocket and dropped a kiss on his forehead.

 

After a quick shower, she jumped in a tank and jeans, and threw her damp hair up into a sloppy bun. Back in Alex’s room, he had fallen back to sleep, but she woke him to make him take some aspirin and drink some water. Sufficiently medicated, he buried himself back under the covers and Kiki left him with instructions to call her if he needed anything.

 

She met up with Tami and the guys at Stella’s, a little diner they’d been going to since high school. The group was seated and recapped about last night as they looked through the menu. Kiki updated Tami on Alex’s current condition and despite her warning, she called his cell to check up on him. It didn’t take long for her and everyone at the table to realize her mistake.

 

The speaker phone wasn’t even on and everyone could hear him. “You know I’m not okay so don’t call my fuckin’ phone again!�

 

Poor Tami was left listening to the dial tone with a pout on her face.

 

“I told you.� Kiki hid her laugh by sipping on her coffee.

 

“Whatever.� She turned her attention back to her meal. “So do you miss Key yet?�

 

“Yes. I'm trying to stay away, but I’ve given into temptation a few times. And got caught.� Both times she was promptly kicked out by Kevin who told her to stay away because she had other things to focus on. The club wouldn’t burn down without her there. “Marissa won’t even tell me how my classes are doing until we're on the road so I can't interfere.� She pouted. She was missing her students the most, but one of the reasons she was doing this was to show them, particularly the younger ones, what they could accomplish with their own talents.

 

“Everything is fine and I can tell you that they miss you too.� Kiki beamed at that.

 

The others at the table had been listening to the two girls talking and JC asked. “So you own your own dance studio?�

 

“It’s actually a health club as well.� She proceeded to tell them about the club and how great of a staff she had for “holding it down� while she was touring.

 

Feeling jealous that Kiki was the center attention on his birthday weekend once again, Justin had to open his mouth and ruin the moment.

 

“So basically other people are doing all the work while you sit back, do nothing, and get all the money.�

 

Not surprised by his comment unlike everyone around them, Kiki calmly place her fork on her plate and put her folded hands on the table. “And this is coming from a grown man who has a team of people doing everything for him short of wiping his ass.�

 

All movement at the table froze except for the pairs of eyes shifting back and forth between the two like they were watching a tennis match. Justin and Kiki were staring daggers at each other, noses flaring, refusing to back down. The tension between them could be cut with a knife.

 

Tami took it upon herself to try and get things back in order before the situation escalated and they caused a scene. She excused herself from the table to go to the bathroom and dragged Kiki with her.

 

Once the girls were out of ear shot, all the guys turned on Justin.

 

“What the hell was that all about man?� JC asked. “Why would you say something like that to her?�

 

“That girl drives me fuckin’ crazy. I can’t stand it.�

JC and Joey were surprised at him. They’d never seen Justin so bothered by a person who hadn’t done anything wrong. But then again they didn’t know the whole story; they didn’t know why she drove him crazy. Luckily, Trace was there put Justin on blast.

 

“Stop lying J. You know damn well you’re feelin’ her. You’re just mad that she doesn’t take your shit and calls you on it.� Trace sat back, not the least bit intimidated by the glare Justin was throwing his way. He went on to tell them about the tongue lashing he got from Kiki followed by Lynn and they couldn’t help but be amused, much to Justin’s dislike. “Hell I wouldn’t be surprised it she likes you too.�

 

“What do you mean?� Irritation side tracked, Justin was now intrigued.

                                                                                                                           

“Does it matter? If she is feelin’ you, you’ll never know ‘cos you keep on acting like a dick to her.�

 

“Whether that’s the case or not you need to get over it dude. Kiki is a nice girl. You’re missing out.� Joey added.

 

Stuck in his ways Justin didn’t want to hear what they were saying, even though in the back of his mind he knew they were right. To take the focus off of himself, he asked Joey what the deal was with Tami - was he finally putting up his pimp hat?

 

Joey surprised them all and said he was. He told them that there was something about Tami that was different from any other woman in his past, including Kelly who he almost married. She fit with him perfectly and because she wanted them to have a monogamous relationship, he was more than willing to end his player ways. He wasn’t willing to risk losing her when he loved her and he knew they had something special together.

 

Even though he was jaded about relationships, Justin wished his friend good luck.

 

 

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Tami was leaning against the sinks watching Kiki pace in front of her while she ranted about how she couldn’t stand Justin and how much of a “grade-A asshole� he was. Since she had joined the tour, Tami had heard more than a few of her rants about him, but now after witnessing it herself, she wasn’t sure the problem was simply Justin being a jerk. From what Joey had told her about him, he had his moments, but he was an all together good guy. So it didn’t add up. At least until she thought about it and it dawned on her - Justin liked Kiki. And by her reaction to his taunting, she would bet that Kiki liked him too. It was a classic case of playground flirtation - I like you, so I’m going to pick on you and I’m going to get you back ‘cause I like you too.

 

How sad, Tami thought. They really needed to get it together before they drove each other crazy.

 

She could have let her friend in on her theory, which she knew she was absolutely correct, but she’d just deny it. The best way to settle this would be for Kiki to -

 

“Just ignore him honey. Stop responding to him all together and he’ll eventually leave you alone.� She advised even though she was sure Justin would just resort to another tactic to get her attention, hopefully the right one this time.

 

“I know you're right, but it’s so hard to do that.� Kiki lamented.

 

Of course it’s hard to ignore the guy you have the hots for. “Just work on it. I’m sure things will change and you’ll feel better.� Finally hooking up with your crush would make anyone feel better.

 

“Yeah.� Kiki cracked a small smile and took a deep breath to collect herself. “I’ll try.� She walked over to the mirror to check her appearance. “Thanks Tams.�

 

The two girls shared a hug. “No problem.�  Cause manipulating you was too easy. And it was something that needed to be done before they killed each other.

 

Confident she wouldn’t jump over the table and beat the crap out of Justin, Kiki took the lead exiting the bathroom and they returned to the table. Needless to say she and Justin stayed pretty quiet for the rest of the morning not wanted to provoke each other again. They both were starting to see that this little feud between them was getting old. Maybe they had gotten off on the wrong foot and maybe a second chance wouldn’t hurt.

 

Justin’s birthday weekend may have been over, but it had a lasting effect on him and Kiki. He couldn’t stop thinking about what his friends had to say about her and the way he’d been treating her. Trace was right, but at the same time he was wrong. Yes he did like her, but it was because she stood up to him. He liked that about her. It meant she had a backbone and was confidence in her self. She was sassy, hot as hell and listening to her talk with his friends at his party – she was down to earth and had a great sense of humor. He liked her. He liked her a lot and there lay the problem.

 

Was he ready to seriously start getting involved with another woman again? Should he even be thinking about Kiki in that respect considering his treatment of her? She’d probably laugh in his face if he asked her out. What he needed to do was start from scratch, just be nice to her because she didn’t deserve to pay for his hang ups. And at this point they weren’t even friends so why should he worry about getting involved with her. He did want them to get along at least, but it would be nice if they could become friends by the end of the tour. Point blank he needed to swallow his pride and fix his mess.

 

“Hey.� He approached her at the beginning of rehearsal and she almost spit her out POWERade from the shock.

 

 “Um, hi?� This was beyond a shock since she was just thinking about her plan to follow Tami’s advice to ignore Justin and now he actually speaking to her like a normal person. She never saw this coming.

 

“Can you stay after rehearsal today? There’s a new variation in one of the routines just for us that I want to try out.� This is new, Kiki thought. Usually Marty was the one to tell her when she and Justin needed to do some one on one work. “It’s nothing too complicated, especially for you. You pick up on things quickly.�

 

What the hell is going on? Have I stepped into the Twilight Zone? Not only is he being nice, but did he actually just compliment me? “Um. Okay. Sure.�

 

“Thanks.� He smiled and went back to the other side of the room. He knew he had just shocked the hell out of her, he had actually hoped for that reaction. After months of being a jerk, he was expecting her to say or do a lot worse. He liked to think her stuttered reaction meant she wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss his honest attempt to extend the olive branch.

 

Kiki could not believe the one-eighty he had just pulled on her. She was completely thrown by it. As soon as he walked away she dashed over to Alex and Tori. They’d been watching the exchange thinking another fight was going to break out, but were just as surprised when nothing happened.

 

“Oh my gawh. Did you guys see that?�

 

“Uh yeah. What was that all about?� Alex questioned.

 

“I have no clue, but he was actually nice to me and he smiled. At me.�

 

“Well his birthday did just pass. Maybe he thought back on his life to date and had a moment of self realization.� Alex gave Tori a “what the fuck� look after that comment. No wonder she’d been a psych major, she was always coming up with some psychological explanation for shit.

 

“Whatever it is, it would be nice if it was real and not just a fluke.� Kiki said to herself, watching him kid around with Gina and Sarah. The shock had worn off and she couldn’t help but think about how nice it was to have Justin be pleasant towards her for that one moment. It would only be wishful thinking if she believed he had changed, so she decided to just shrug it off. Tomorrow she would start ignoring him.

 

Tomorrow came and again Justin greeted her kindly and engaged her in some small talk. Ignoring him went out the window then as the “fluke� turned into a normal routine between them. It was impossible for her to turn away when he was finally being nice and laying on the charm that had her swooning despite herself.

 

Justin was thrilled with the response he was getting from Kiki. It amazed him that she was so nice to him despite his past behavior. It took a big heart to look past that. He was glad he had finally pulled his head out of his ass.

 

Things only got better between Justin and Kiki as the first day of the tour grew near. It was strange, but slowly a tentative friendship was developing between them. Small talk and joking around lead into full out conversation without a hint of hostility involved.

 

Kiki could see that deep down Justin wasn’t really inconsiderate, rude or disrespectful. He was a pretty okay guy once he got back down to earth and chilled out from the pressure of his first solo endeavor. He had put his guard down and Kiki was glad to finally see the nice guy that lay underneath that tough exterior. His nasty attitude still popped up from time to time, but she proved she had a knack for putting him in his place and shutting him up. Potential friendship or not, she never hesitated to correct him if he got out of line. And he never retaliated when she called him out now-a-days because he did have an attitude problem. He found it refreshing that he couldn’t get away with being an egomaniac with Kiki. It kept him level headed and over time he developed a weird attraction to being told off by her. She was hot when she got all irate with him, hands on that tight little waist of hers, rolling her neck every which way.

 

As they learned more about each other and found that they had a lot in common, their first impressions of each other faded to the background and enemies became friends.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

“Ok everyone, let’s break for lunch. You have an hour, be back here at 2 o’clock on the dot so we can wrap things up for today.� Marty announced and everyone start to break off to most likely go and nap before they ate. Kick off for the tour was in less than two weeks and rehearsal had been moved to a warehouse where an actual stage was built so they could get used to performing on one. The atmosphere among the crew was growing more tense and anxious by the day. Everyone was exhausted from working so hard and they really needed a break right now.

 

Kiki walked over to the side of the stage to pick up her hoodie she’d put aside earlier. Just as she was about to walk backstage her cell phone started ringing and she looked down at the LCD screen to see it was Kevin calling. She had been waiting for his phone call all day because the end of the month was approaching and she knew there would be some paperwork that she had to handle. Approving the budget each month was the only work that she had to do for the club while on the road so her laptop was definitely ridin’ with her.

 

“Hey Kevin.�

 

Justin had heard her cell ringing and being the nosey person that he was, instead of leaving, he stood by to listen in on her conversation.

 

“I’m not leaving till the end of next week so I’ll just swing by and pick up the budget spreadsheets before then. I’ll use the hotel’s fax machine to send them back with my signature when we get to Portland.� She assure him. “How’s everyone doing?....That’s great!.…Yeah everything is going good, I’m having a great time…Thanks Kev. Tell everyone I said hi and I’ll talk to you later….Okay. Bye.�

 

Kiki stuck her phone back into the pouch and, still looking down, she turned to walk off stage. When she finally raised her head she saw Justin standing by to the side all alone acting like he hadn’t been eavesdropping.

 

Walking over to him, she used the towel she had wrapped around neck and smacked him with it. “Nosey.� He laughed as he gave up the rouse of checking his cell for missed calls.

 

“Yeah you got me.� He offered her one of the bottles of water he was holding.

 

“Mmhmm. Thank you.� She opened the water and took a long swallow.

 

“Sounds like you’re gonna be a busy girl before we leave.�

 

“Not really. Its tedious work but I’ll do it on the road and faxed it away once we get to the hotel. I need to be focused on just the show once we’re in Portland. It’s the first one so my nerves are going to be shot.� He definitely agreed with her on that. Her anxious expression turned to an excited grin when she added. “Plus how am I going to go to the after party if I have homework to do?�

 

“You’re more excited about the after party than the show?�

 

“No. I am excited about the show, but it’s a nervous excited.� She scrunched up her face. “Plus I keep picturing myself tripping over your big feet and then the two of us busting our asses in front of everyone.�

 

“Hey! Don’t jinx us!�

 

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.� She held up her hands in surrender. “How about we not talk about opening night, it’ll just make us even more anxious. And we are on break right now. I don’t know about you but my body and my nerves need one.� She groaned as she plopped down on the stage to do some stretching.

 

He sat down next to her and agreeing with her, he changed the subject. “So do I get a free membership to your spot when this is over?� He grinned at her and she teased.

 

“You do know it’s outside of Hollywood, right?�

 

“Whatever. I go to places outside of Hollywood.� He pouted.

 

She grabbed his cheeks and talked to him in a baby voice. “Aww I was just playing with you. You don’t have to cry about it.� He scowled at her and pulled out of her grip while she laughed at him. “You’re more than welcomed at Key, but with the amount of money you make, you will not be getting anything free.�

 

“Way to treat a friend.� He scoffed. She just shrugged and he pushed her over, making her giggle into the bottle she was about to take a sip from.

 

When Kiki didn’t refute his referral to himself as her friend, Justin was happy to think she saw them as friends now. But he had one thing to say before he felt he deserved that friendship.

 

The comfortable silence that fell over them was broken when he said it. “I’m sorry Kiki.�

 

“For what?� She knew what for, but she wanted to hear him say it aloud.

 

“For the way I’ve treated you. I was rude and disrespectful and you didn’t deserve it at all. I was a jerk and I’m truly sorry.�

 

“More like a spoiled brat.�

 

He chuckled. “OH! I see how it is.�

 

“Well you were, you still are but its ok. You’re forgiven. I’ll just keep putting your ass in check and we’ll be all good.� She gave him a cheeky grin.

 

“You happen to be good at that, so I’ll let it slide.�

 

“Whatever. Just admit it you got punk’d…Again!� She giggled hysterically while he scowled at her. “Aah!!� He had lunged at her, but missed, giving her the chance to get up and run away.

 

She ran off the stage, down the hallway with him hot on her tail and he caught her right before she reached the ladies’ dressing room.

 

“You think you’re funny, huh?� He said as he held her hostage against his chest.

 

“No. I know I am.� She giggled.

 

With his arms still wrapped around her, they stood there catching their breath and staring at each other. In that moment, something ignited between Kiki and Justin, sending a chill through both of them.

 

“Would you, uh… Do you wanna have lunch with me?� Justin broke the poignant stare first and reluctantly let go of her.

 

She smiled at him brushing off the feelings that his nearness and his gaze stirred inside her. “Yeah. That’d be nice.�

 

“I had some takeout from Friday’s ordered. I’m sure there’s plenty to go around. You ok with Friday’s?� They started walking down the hall.

 

“That’s fine. I’m so hungry right now I really don’t care what I eat.� Together they walked past the ladies' dressing room and made their way to his. “Thanks for sharing your lunch with me.� She said in a little girl’s voice.

 

He laughed at her and draped an arm over her shoulder. “You’re welcome.�

 

 

 

“See Alex I told you. Dinner my ass. It’s a freakin’ party in there.� Kiki pointed to the cars in her parents’ driveway and lined up on both sides of the street. “They set us up.�

 

“Looks like its packed.� Tori commented from the backseat as they pulled up to the expansive split level house.

 

“Should we leave?� Alex didn’t want to leave and neither did Tori. She liked Kiki’s family and it wasn’t like she had her own in the area to throw her a going away party.

 

Kiki shot Alex an incredulous look. “So we can get cussed out? No. It’s too late now. Just park and let’s get this over with.� She was not in the mood for a party especially a going away party. Yes, she was a 21 year old who had never been away from home. She freely admitted it and she would also admit that she was probably going to be a little homesick during the tour. Begin around friends and family right now would only make here want to cry. She was not going to cry……At least not now. Tonight, alone in my bedroom maybe.

 

He found a parking spot and the three climbed out of the car and walked up towards the house. Some guests hanging on the porch saw them coming and no doubt ran into the house to warn everyone of their arrival.

 

Alex opened the front door and once they were all in the foyer, everyone inside yelled. “Surprise,� as they stood under a banner that read “Good Luck Kiki, Alex and Tori.�

 

The house was filled with what looked like the whole staff of Key West, Nina and Frederick’s co workers, old friends of Kiki's and Alex’s, neighbors and even Maya's and Derek’s friends. When Kiki saw them all there she was overwhelmed by all their support and felt tears building in her eyes. She needed to distract herself, so she cracked a joke.

 

“Not much of a surprise. We could hear your loud asses down the street.�

 

The crowd laughed before the three dancers were engulfed by hugs and well wishes. Moving further into the house, they found Kiki’s siblings and Tami and Marissa hanging by the bar. They received hugs from them all and Kiki was picked at for the pout she was now sporting. 

 

“Don’t even try to look annoyed cause you shouldn’t be. You knew Mamí was going to throw a going away party for you.� Derek said from behind the bar where he was playing bartender with Rhea for the night.

 

“Where are Nina and Frederick by the way?�

 

“In the kitchen.� Maya pointed her thumb behind her shoulder. “Be gentle Mamí’s having a tough time. Daddy said she was crying last night.� Derek confirmed her claim with a nod and he frowned thinking about his mother being upset.

 

Kiki’s annoyance deflated and her sadness grew. Just like she had never been away from home, her mother never had her youngest child away from home.

 

“I’m not mad. I know she just wants to show me how proud of me she is. I just don’t want to cry you guys.� She pouted. “I’m gonna need a strong drink after this so get to work bartender.�

 

Derek saluted to her and Kiki forlornly made her way to the kitchen.

 

She came into the room to find her parents all alone holding each other. She knew her mother was crying and those tears she’d been trying to hold in broke free. Her parents heard the sob she let out and let go of each other to see who had found them. Nina saw her tears and rushed over to hug her daughter. She rocked Kiki back and forth as she cried on her shoulder. Her sobs quieted and Nina whispered in her ear. “I know you probably didn’t want a party but appease your poor mother whose baby girl is going way for months tomorrow.�

 

They pulled away from each other and Kiki let out a small laugh as she wiped her tears away. “It’s ok. Now that I’m here I’m actually glad you put this together otherwise I’d probably go home and cry myself to sleep instead of celebrating.� Nina cupped her face and told her.

 

“Te amo mi hijita y soy muy orgulloso de ti.� Using her thumbs she wiped the last few tears that popped out from Kiki’s cheek.

 

“Te amo también.� She mumbled and sniffled slightly with her head down. “I’m gonna miss you guys.�

 

Frederick approached the two then and put his arms around them both. “We’re going to miss you too.� Kiki looked up at her father and let a small smile spread on her face. “I’m very happy you’re taking this opportunity. You are going to be wonderful.� Her smile got even bigger and Frederick kissed her on the forehead.

 

“Uh, excuse me, but we have a baby sister that we’re going to miss too. Can we get in on the lovin’?� Derek and Maya had both been in the doorway leading to the den watching them. Maya had even shed a few tears thinking about how her hermanita wouldn’t be around to hang out with her.

 

“Get over here.� Frederick extended an arm and the last two Lewises jumped into the big family hug. They held each other in a circle for few moments before it go weird.

 

“Ok. That’s enough. We’re gettin’ a little too Brady Bunch up in here.� Derek cracked and they all released each other.

 

Derek, Maya and Kiki stood in front of their parents now and Nina couldn’t control herself and started sobbing all over again at the sight of her three babies all grown up. Frederick rolled his eyes at how emotional she was tonight. He nodded towards the den. “I’m going to get your mother a drink.�

 

Minutes after Frederick and Nina left, Marissa and Tori came into the kitchen.

 

“Nima walked into the room, saw Tami and Alex and is now bawling in their arms.� Marissa informed the siblings. “What did you guys do to her?�

 

“She’ll be okay. All cry babies are. Like Kiki over there.� Maya cracked at her sister who was at the sink wiping her tear stained face with a wet paper towel.

 

“Shut up.� Kiki joined the group at the table they were all sitting round. “Where’s my drink?� She nudged Derek.

 

“I’m not going back in there until Pop has Mamí good and drunk.�

 

“Jesus I feel like I should go change my shirt.� Alex rushed into the room with a visible wet spot on his shoulder. Tami was behind him wiping tears from her face. She signed up for a party, not a damn cry fest.

 

“She started drink yet?� Kiki asked as she hugged her best friend who came over to share her seat with her.

 

“She’s crying all over your wife now.� Alex told Derek. “While Freddy’s mixing her a margarita as we speak.�

 

“I give her a half an hour. Until then I’m gonna go mingle and stay far away from the den.� Kiki gave up the chair to Tami and left them in the kitchen to go catch up with her other guests.

 

Hours had gone by and she had chatted with almost everyone in the house. Nina was plenty buzzed and was now smiling and prancing around like the proud mama and consummate hostess. It left the bar open for Kiki to finally get her drink without having her mother cry all over her. Rhea made her a Long Island Ice Tea, one of her favorites, with plenty of liquor that would last her the rest of night.

 

Later on, she and the girls had moved outside to sit poolside and talking. Marissa, Maya and Tori left to take Trent - Marissa’s fiancée, Kevin and Alex up on their challenge to a game of pool. Tami used the alone time to bring up what she’d been dying to all night.

 

“JC tells me that you and Justin have mended fence.�

 

“How’d he know that?�

 

“Trace told him.�

 

Kiki snorted a laugh. “I guess I don’t have to give you updates while I’m gone with the grapevine ya’ll got going already.�

 

“So... Is it true? What happened?� Tami anxiously asked. She wanted to know if her theory was coming to fruition yet.

 

“He totally flipped the script on me and now we’re friends.�

 

“Yeah?� Kiki nodded with a coy smile on her face. I knew it! Tami wanted to exclaim, but she’d save that for when they hooked up. “That’s good then. It’s best to have a health working relationship. You know.�

 

“Mmhmm.�  Relationship?

 

Before she could think any deeper into that unlikely possibility, Tami interrupted her. “So are you ready? You all packed up?�

 

“Yup. And speaking of...� Kiki looked at her watch as saw that is it was almost 1 and they had to be at WEG by 7. “We probably should be getting out of here.�

 

Tami got up with her and they went in the house to collect Tori and Alex before saying goodbye to everyone. At the front door, they received last minute hugs and affirmation from Kiki’s family that they would be at the LA show at the end of the summer. Thankfully no one cried again and Kiki was confident she wouldn’t be crying in bed tonight.

 

For their last night in LA, she, Alex and Tori all bunked out at her condo, having a mini sleepover in her den. The next morning Alex and Tori helped her do a safety check of her apartment before they left. All her appliances, with the exception of the empty refrigerator, were unplugged, windows locked and all the lights were turned off. The last one out, Kiki said a silent goodbye to her home, set her alarm and locked up.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

At WEG, the whole crew sat in a conference room as bus assignments, finalized itineraries and id badges were handed out. Johnny went over rules and regulations once again. And after they handed in their completed In Case of Emergency Forms, he wished them good luck and they were released to go load up.

 

In the parking lot, where the buses were waiting, groups of the crew’s families were there to send them off. Kiki smiled as she thought of her sent off last night.

 

“What are you smiling about?� She turned around to face Justin sipping on a cup of coffee. He had on a t-shirt, some baggy sweats, a skully on his head and a pair of sunglasses on. He looked like he had a rough night.

 

“I can guess what you were doing last night.�

 

“It’s not like I’m driving.� He shrugged and Kiki giggled. “Back to my question – What were you smiling at?�

 

She nodded towards Sarah who was getting hugs and kisses from her parents and her boyfriend. “Just thinking about the bon voyage party my parents threw for us last night. It was fun, but you know it was sad too.� She frowned a little.

 

“Aww poor baby.�

 

“Shut up. I know it’s pathetic that I’m 21 and this is my first time being away from home. I can’t help that I’m a big baby.�

 

“It’s okay. I’ve been doing this since I was 14 and I still get homesick.� Kiki shrugged, feeling a bout of that coming on herself. Justin could tell she was feeling a little down and he slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Besides you got a new family to take care of you now.� It was impossible for her not to brighten when he said that.

 

In the background, Anthony, the tour manager, was calling for everyone to get on board. It was time to head out.

 

“Which bus are you on?�

 

“Number 3.�

 

“Come on then I’ll walk you there.� With his arm still around her, he escorted her to the girl’s bus. They were all standing outside the closed door waiting to be let on. “Now ladies I don’t want to hear about any craziness on this bus or I might have to come on board and join in.�

 

“No boys allowed.� Gina stuck her tongue out at him.

 

The door opened then and the girls started climbing on board while the loaders were putting their bag under the bus. Kiki was the last to board after saying goodbye to Justin. When she got on she saw that the bus was pretty much what she had expected. In the back, she went to get the last bunk unoccupied underneath Sarah. The girls did a little tour of the bus before the driver, who introduced his self as Earl, came over the loud speaker to tell them to get seated because they were pulling out. Sarah and Candice opened a few of the windows and send out last minute goodbyes to their friends and family watching the buses takes off.

 

 

On the road for an hour, the girls were in the back watching a movie and Kiki was sitting at the dining nook working on the budget when she got a phone call from an unknown number. She answered it anyway.

 

“Hello?�

 

“Hi.� Was all the anonymous caller said.

 

“Who is this?�

 

“Are you doing your homework?� He sat on the couch in his bus, grinning at the thought of what her face looked like trying to figure out who it was.

 

Homework?, Kiki thought momentarily before it dawned on her who she was talking to. “Justin. How did you get this number?�

 

“You work for me. How do you think I got it?� He had her phone number and address for quite some time now.

 

What is it with everyone looking through my personnel flies? “You know that’s invasion of privacy right?�

 

“So sue me.�

 

“I just might.� She volleyed. “Why are you calling me?�

 

“Just wanted to make sure you were doing your homework like a good little girl so you don’t miss the party tomorrow night.�

 

“Oh don’t you worry about that. I never miss a good party.�

 

“Good I’d be hurt if you didn’t come.� And that was the truth. He was looking forward to actually spending time with her during this gathering. “What do you think about the bus?�

 

“It’s nice. I’m a big fan of road trips and this is the best mode of transportation I have ever ridden in during one.�

 

“I’ll ask you that question again in a few weeks.� The novelty took that long to ware off.

 

“Why so when I’m miserable you can then gloat about the pimped out bus I hear you’re rollin’ in.�

 

“Don’t hate. Don’t hate.�

 

“Whatever.�

 

“Whatever.� He mocked her.

 

She just rolled her eyes at his immaturity sometimes. “So tell me what does Portland, Oregon have to offer for entertainment.�

 

“The Trailblazer.�

 

“Oh gawh you sound like my brother.� Life was all about sports particularly basketball for him.

 

“NBA fan?�

 

“And employee.�

 

“Your brother works for the NBA? As what?�

 

“He’s one of the athletic trainers for the Lakers.�

 

“No shit. That means he knows…�

 

“Yes he knows Kobe and no he cannot get you his phone number.� She joked by feeding him the line she told to people who asked her to get the basketball star’s information from Derek.

 

“Girl please, that’s my boy. I already got his number.�

 

“Oh I bet your rolodex reads like the A list.�

 

“You know it. I’m the man.�

 

“You are so in love with yourself.�

 

They continued to talk and the next thing Kiki knew over an hour had passed and she had barely gotten to the meat of her paperwork.

 

“Oh shit Justin. I have to go. I have to finish this.�

 

He noticed the time too and was surprised that it didn’t feel like they had been talking that long. “Yeah I probably should get some work done myself.� He had to look over his schedule for tomorrow and confirm a few plans. “I’ll talk to you later and you have fun making money.�

 

 “Well so far it looks like I may have made a pretty penny. So I will be having a LOT of fun.� She giggled.

 

Damn that’s a cute little giggle. “Ooh that means you can buy me a congratulatory gift after kick off.�

 

“No.� She deadpanned.

 

“You’re mean.�

 

“I have to go.� She emphasized.

 

“Alright, alright. I’ll talk to you later.�

 

“Bye.� And they both hung up.

 

Ten minutes later Kiki was getting back into her groove, punching figures into her calculator. When her cell rang again and again it was Justin.

 

“What?�

 

“You’re doing your homework right?�

 

“Justin.� She warned.

 

“I was just checking.� He exclaimed.

 

“Goodbye Justin.� She hung up this time without letting him say the same.

 

Five minutes later, her cell rang again and she almost ripped the keypad off when she flipped it open.

 

“Stop calling me!� He was cackling on the other end and she couldn’t help but laugh with him. He was certifiable. “You are crazy you know that? Don’t call me again. I have work to do.�

 

“You’re no fun.� She could hear his pout over the line. “But I’ll be good from now on.�

 

“Thank you.�

 

“Ok. See you at the hotel.�

 

“Alright.�

 

“Ok.�

 

“Justin!�

 

“Ok! Bye for real this time.� She said goodbye and then he actually did hang up and didn’t call back again.

 

By the time they got to the Marriott in Portland, Key West’s March budget proposal was all done and ready to be faxed.

 

In the hotel parking lot, they had to wait for Anthony to come to their buses to assign their rooms and deliver their key cards so they wouldn’t congest the lobby. Finally all the buses were unloaded and after Kiki had settled into her room with Tori - her roommate for the tour - she went back down to the lobby to find a fax machine. While waiting in line at the front desk to be directed to the public fax, Kiki caught a glimpse of Justin and his bodyguards on the elevator going up to his room. He had stay on his bus until traffic in the lobby was at a minimal to ensure his safety. They made eye contact and he winked at her before the doors closed.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%

 

From door to vanity, Justin paced his dressing room, trying to calm his jittering nerves. His eyes kept shifting to the clock on the wall. He was both looking forward to and dreading that the next 45 minutes would pass. Both his parents and step parents had tried to distract him, but the only thing it accomplished was to make him even more anxious. So he politely asked them to leave, he needed some quiet alone time to focus. This was his first show of his first solo tour, everything had to be perfect. People were either counting on him to come through or watching to see him fall flat on his face. He had all the confidence that he would put on a great performance, but other things out of his control could go wrong. He just prayed to God, luck or whatever was on his side tonight that everything would be fine.

 

Refocusing on the positive, his pacing was interrupted by a knock on the door.

 

“Come in.�

 

The door cracked and when he saw long curly brown hair peak through even before he saw her face, he smiled.

 

“Hey.� Kiki’s happy smile was a breath of fresh air for him. This was her first time out period and she didn’t look the least bit worried. “Can I come in?�

 

“Yeah.� He had stopped pacing and sat on the swivel chair in front of the vanity.

 

Kiki came into the room and stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. She took a good look at his face and his demeanor. “Good, you don’t look nervous.�

 

“Usually I’m not. Anxious, but not nervous. This time is different. I’m flying solo. It’s all on me this time.�

 

“Well you’re way too cocky to think you’re going to mess up.�  She teased and they both laughed. “But I just wanted to let you know that I don’t think you have anything to worry about. We all have worked hard and we’re not going to fail you or ourselves. We won’t let you fall on your face.� She assured. “I won’t let you fall. We are partners after all.�

 

Justin just stared at her in wonder after she said that. Her words were so sincerely and from the heart. It was almost magical the way she made everything seem like it would be fine.

 

“Ok you've settled my nerves a little. Can you tell me how to deal with the weird ass feeling I have about not having my 4 best friends next to me on stage?�

 

“That’s easy. Now you have 9 friends – 8 new ones with you. Most importantly me because we all know I’m the coolest person on this tour.� He let out a deep chuckle and shook his head at her arrogance. “Plus when everyone’s asking who’s the hot chick on the Justified tour, you get to say that you get to hump her practically on a daily basis.�

 

His head fell back and he laughed even harder as she grinned cutely.

 

He was full out laughing and smiling now, not the least bit nervous or anxious. This girl, who was practically his sworn enemy not too long ago, slipped into his room and erased every one of his bad thoughts and feelings. Looking at her now with her warm brown eyes shining and her face alit with a smile, she was like positive energy for him to feed off of. He was damn lucky to have her with him.

 

“Thank you.� He genuinely stated.

 

“You’re welcome…Now.� She looked up at the clock and noticed. “Showtime’s in 15 minutes. We gotta get ready!� She exclaimed with excitement. She was quite the cute little motivator standing there bouncing on her toes.

 

He got up from his chair and stood in front of her. “Don’t trip on my feet.� He joked and she smirked.

 

“Don’t get caught lip syncing.�

 

“Haha. Very funny.�

 

“I know.� She quipped over her shoulder as she walked to the door. Justin followed her, but she stopped before she opened the door.

 

Kiki couldn’t explain the impulse so she just went with it and turned back around to hug Justin. He was a little taken aback, but didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her. They held each other close, maybe too close to an outsider watching, but for Kiki and Justin it felt good to hold each other like this. The warm embrace was a nice comfort for both of them when they were about to step out into the unknown. It was nice to know they had each other for support on and off the stage.

 

Pulling away, Kiki brushed the shoulders of his shirt to straight them out and smiled up at him. “Go get ‘em tiger.�

 

“What the fuck.� Justin let out a snort of laughter while Kiki giggled at herself.

 

“I’ll see you out there.� She gave him one last encouraging smile and left the room.

 

Soon Anthony was knocking on his door and he was on his way to his entrance mark where the dancers were waiting. They all stood in a circle and said a quick prayer lead by Ralphie, wished each other good luck and broke out.  Right before he was going to walk through the curtain Justin looked behind him and made eye contact with Kiki. She winked, then stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed just as she had hoped. He’d be going out there on a high note. As far as she was concerned that was a guarantee that he would blow everyone away tonight and cement himself as the real thing in the music world.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%

 

When the last song of the show ended, Justin said his goodbyes and thank yous to the crowd. He and the dancers left the stage, and headed through the halls back to the dressing rooms. They were all cheering and laughing, adrenaline was still flow through them, feeling great about the show. Justin in particular was on a high, everything was perfect. The crowd was electric, the band was in totally synch with his voice that was steady and strong throughout and the dance steps were flawless. Speaking of dance steps, where was Kiki?

 

He stopped walking and turned around to search for her through the mass of people. He soon found her standing to the side apparently raving about the show with Tori. They were jumping around with excitement hugging each other.

 

Kiki was feeling awesome, it had been purely exhilarating. The energy from the crowd was amazing, she had never experienced it at that level. She felt drunk and giddy with joy over her personal success, and everyone else’s tonight. This feeling was why she decided to do the tour, to think she had almost passed it up. She never felt more sure about coming here right now than she did about anything in her life.

 

“Kiki!� she heard someone call out to her while she and Tori were hugging. She turned around and was promptly scooped up into another pairs of arms, these ones much stronger. “You were amazing!� She looked down into Justin’s sweaty yet, purely happy face.

 

“Me?� She awed as he set her down on the ground. “You were the amazing one. Justin….. I am so proud of you. That was…� She smiled brightly and shook her head, lost for words. “Spectacular.� They both laughed and he wrapped her up in a hug again.

 

They were interrupted when his parents and stepparents approached them, and to both their surprise, they were joined by Joey, JC and Tami. Justin was so thrilled to see his band mates there supporting him. Lynn had tears in her eyes and hugged him fiercely telling him how proud she was of him. Once she let him go, he got hugs and compliments from the rest of his parents.

 

Trace came out of nowhere and jumped on him. “Dude that shit was on point. You were awesome.� They clutched hands and pulled each other in for a hug.

 

Kiki was almost in tears when she saw her best friend there and the two of them jumped around hugging and cheering. When Alex joined them, the three ended up making a little spectacle of themselves, but they didn’t care. They were too happy to care.

 

“You guys were crazy, you were absolutely beautiful up there.� Tami exalted. “I wanted to cry watching you two. It was…it was just amazing. I’m so proud of you.� She wrapped one arm around each and hugged them tight.

 

Joey and JC squeezed in to give their congratulations, hugs with Kiki and clutch hands with Alex. Lynn came over and she and Kiki shared a hug. She fawned over Kiki and her talents, making her blush.

 

“You and my son, oh my gawh, you two were wonderful up there.� She gushed. “And I’m so happy to hear you guys made up and are friends now.�

 

“Yeah you don’t have to worry about losing your only child anymore.� They laughed together and then Lynn introduced Kiki to the rest of Justin’s parents. Paul in particular because she had told him all about her and the day they met. She also wanted Paul’s opinion on Kiki for Justin since her tour spy – Trace – had told her the two were getting “cozy.�

 

Introductions between strangers were passed as the group stood back stage together. Things were getting hectic back there plus Justin had some press to do, so Lynn suggested that they all have dinner together at the hotel restaurant. Everyone agreed before they dispersed to take care of their individual business.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

They regrouped at the hotel lobby; Justin, Kiki and Alex were all freshly showered and dressed in their normal clothes. In the restaurant the group was given the large banquet room in the back to fit them all. They spent their dinner regaling about the show and general conversation about each other. Lynn and Randy told embarrassing stories about Justin, giving Kiki plenty ammunition to clown him for the duration of the tour. Kiki and Alex got to see the progress that Tami and Joey’s relationship had made. The two looked to be getting very serious. On the other hand Justin and Kiki were giving off some major flirtatious vibes with the teasing and general comfort they shared with each other as they sat side by side. Lynn smiled as she saw for herself what Trace had been talking about and she was overjoyed. She eyed Paul and he gave her a subtle nodded. He thought Kiki was a very nice girl; confident, funny and polite. No wonder Justin was attracted to her. Lynn couldn’t help but hope that her son had finally found the right one.

 

Once dinner was over the younger group excused themselves and went straight to the after party. The crew was already there and they joined in to make a toast to an amazing kick off.

 

It looked to be a quiet night in for Kiki and friends, but instead of being cooped up in one of their hotel rooms. They were goofing off in the hallway, acting a little stir crazy.

 

At the end of the hall, Justin, Trace, and Lacey - her friend visiting from out of town - came out of Candice’s room with her. As a favor to Trace, Justin had agreed to be Lacey’s date for their night out. Trace and Candice had been messing around for awhile now; regardless of the fact that he and everyone else knew she really wanted Justin. It was painfully obvious the way she was always pushing up on him, even when he blatantly ignored her. For a time she had desperation written all over her. She did finally get the picture that her advances weren’t working and she turned to Trace, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what she was doing, but he definitely found her attractive and she was making herself extremely available. So he figured while she was using him to be close to Justin, he would use her for sex.

 

Justin had no interest in her whatsoever; as a matter of fact he was becoming very irritated with her and her flirting. She was screwing his best friend for Christ's sake. He had recently taken to avoiding her as much as possible. Needless to say, he was not looking forward to this night and was regretting it even more when he spotted Kiki down the hall. He’d much rather hang with her tonight, especially given the tank top and boy shorts she was jumping around in. He grinned at the sight and picked up his pace to find out what she was up to.

 

Alex was sitting on the hallway carpet munching on Doritos with Tori as he conducted. “Do the Victory!�

 

“Alright!� Kiki cheered with her fists on her hips.

 

“Do the Victory!�

 

“That’s right! We’re gonna split that V, dot that I, curl that C-T-O-R-Y. Hip hop we just don’t stop, we’re gonna take it to the top! Woohoo!� She ended the cheer with a bubble and high leg kick.

 

Justin had snuck up on her during her cheer and once he was standing behind her he yelled, “woohoo!�

 

Kiki screamed and whirled around to see him bent over laughing at her. She growled and started hitting him.

 

“You scared the shit. Out. Of. Me. Justin.� She smacked him in the shoulder with each word.

 

Suddenly, he grabbed her wrists, holding her in place and hooked his leg around hers, dropping her to the floor. He pounced on her, straddling her waist and started tickling her, until she was breathless and surrendered.

 

While the two were fooling around Trace was talking with Tori and Alex, but Candice and Lacey stood by fuming and glaring with jealousy at Kiki.

 

Completely unaware of their stares, Kiki and Justin were in their own world, all their attention on each other.

 

“Get off me.� Kiki grunted, trying to push and twist Justin off.

 

He gripped her wrists again and pinned them to the floor. “No.� He leaned down to bring their faces closer. “You goin’ out tonight?�

 

“Nah. I’m stayin’ in.�

 

“Oh come on. Come out with me.� He whined as he moved back to kneel over her legs so she could sit up. If he couldn’t stay in with her, maybe she’d come out with him.

 

Kiki declined once again, but Justin continued to plead his case until Candice had enough. It was only supposed to be the four of them and here he was inviting Kiki of all people.

 

“Justin, if she doesn’t want to go then drop it.�

 

In unison, Justin and Kiki turned their heads to look at her like she was crazy. Where did she get the audacity to tell Justin what to do or involving herself in a conversation that was none of her business? Everyone including Lacey was looking at her like she had lost her mind.

 

Apparently she was either ignoring it or honestly didn’t notice the looks being thrown her way because she kept on talking. “We need to go before it gets too late.�

 

Kiki knew Candice didn’t like her and the feeling was definitely mutual. The reason being, Candice was jealous that she was Justin’s dance partner and now, friend. She had caught the glares Candice would throw her way in the past and in the now, as she stood in front of them with her hands on her hips, clearly irritated.

 

Kiki was almost convinced to go out with Justin before, but now watching Candice get all worked up at the prospect of her joined them, her decision was made.

 

“You know what? I think I will go out with you.� She grinned arrogantly at Candice and then turned a genuinely smile on Justin.

 

He knew she had agreed to go to piss Candice off and he found a fuming Candice hilarious. Watching Kiki’s mere presence irritate the hell out of her for the night was just a bonus to spending some time with her.

 

“I just gotta go change real quick.� She pushed back to get her legs out from under him and stood up.

 

“You guys feel like come too?� Justin asked Tori and Alex. They would be two more people to put between his self, Candice and her equally annoying friend.

 

Tori looked over at Alex who had his face scrunched up and was shaking his head. “Yeah me either.� She turned back to Justin. “I think we’re going to stay in, but have fun.�

 

“Give me 15 minutes then.� Kiki told Justin and went back into her room.

 

While she was changing the guys continued to ignore their “dates� that were stand by livid about the new addition, and kept talking with Tori and Alex. After Kiki came back dressed casually in a pair of boots, jeans and a halter top, they said their goodbye and went downstairs to their waiting transportation.

 

The group ended up at one of the city’s hot spots and not long after they got there, Candice and Lacey were ditched. Her obviously jealousy tonight was the icing on the cake, Trace was done with Candice so he went and found another playmate for the night. Justin and Kiki disappeared into the crowd to have their own fun together.

 

By the end of the night, Candice and Lacey had long since taken a taxi back to the hotel. Both beyond pissed about the way their “date� had gone. Meanwhile, Kiki had the pleasure of seeing both the guys completely wasted and that was when it was time to call it a night. Back at the hotel, Lonnie and Eric had to practically drag Justin and Trace along while Kiki took the lead, clearing the way to their rooms. They reached Trace’s first, Kiki opened the door and Eric took him inside, dumping him on his bed. Then Lonnie left Kiki to get Justin settled after he insisted he could walk by himself. But before he reached the bedroom, he was stumbling and Kiki had to use her body to support him the rest of the way.

 

“I’m telling you right now Justin, if we don’t make it to the bed I’m leaving you wherever you fall.� She groaned as more of his body weight bared down on her with each step. Gawd to be built like a string bean he’s heavy as hell.

 

They had just made it to the bed when his weight became too much and their feet got tangled together. Kiki went to push him away so he’d fall on the bed, but without warning his hold on her tightened. As he fell so did she.

 

“Mmmph.� Kiki groaned when they hit the mattress. Justin seemed to be completely unfazed by the fall, but then again he wasn’t very coherent at the moment. It was getting late, she was tired and lying on his hard chest wasn’t very comfortable, so Kiki planted her dangling feet on the floor and trying to push herself up. Unfortunately that wasn’t turning out to be as easy as she thought it would. Justin may have been out of it, but not so much that he couldn’t keep a good grip on her.

 

“Justin, let go. Justin.� She tapped the side of his face to wake him, but all he did was grumble in his sleep and wrap another arm around her. It took her some time but she did manage to wiggle herself out of his grasp and climbed out of the bed.

 

She stood bed side for a moment looking at him sprawled out on his back. “A mess.� She shook her head thinking about all the alcohol he had put away tonight. He probably should have passed out on the way to the hotel. A heavy hitter. Good thing he was a fun heavy hitter though. If he was a mean drunk she would have left his ass in the lobby.

 

“I wouldn’t tell you this if you were conscious cause then you’d just strut around like King Shit, but..� She tilted her head as she looked at him. “You’re a pretty cute when you're drunk too.� She sighed and then decided to make him a little more comfortable. Bending down, she took of his sneakers and folded the comforter over his body.

 

“Goodnight Justin.� She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Sueños dulces.�

 

Kiki left the room shutting the door behind her and made her way out the suite.

 

“Boom! Take that bitch!� Marty bellowed at Trace and accepted dap from Lonnie, Eric and Justin for the dunk he just made on Trace’s man.

 

At the bar pouring herself some Pepsi in a glass of ice, Kiki wondered once again why she was hanging out with this loud and uncouth bunch. She could have been with Alex, Tori and some of the other crew members on the bus tour of Minneapolis. But a shopping center was one of the stops during the trip and the last thing she needed to do was more shopping. Her suitcases were starting to get too packed as is, so to resist temptation she opted out of the outing. Besides Justin had challenged her to go one on one with him in their NBA Street tournament. Thanks to Derek she was plenty versed with the game, so she couldn’t turn that offer down. And given the sore loser's pout Justin had from getting beat by her the last round, her decision was definitely paying off. How I love to crush the delicate male ego, especially his.

 

She passed by Justin when she was reclaiming her spot next to him on the love seat and he stopped her with a hand on her hip.

 

“What’s this?� He pulled her jeans down slightly to get a better look at the tattoo he saw peeking out.

 

“Excuse you!� Kiki exclaimed and grabbed for the top of her pants so he couldn’t pull them down too far.

 

His move uncovered a set a cat paws with “PCD� scribed underneath at the base of her back. She, Tami and all the other girls in her troupe had gotten the same tattoo one night together.

 

“You got ink.�

 

“Yes.� He let her go and she plopped down on the empty cushion. “I’m surprised you’re just now noticing it.�

 

“You act like I gave a shit about you before.� He taunted her.

 

She scoffed. “Jerk.�

 

“I can’t believe I never saw you there.� He’d been to a few of the shows in the past and would have noticed Kiki among them. She looked good in just the half tees and low cargos she wore during practice. He could only image how she looked in those outfits the dolls slinked around the stage in.

 

“You missed a good show.� She grinned mischievously as she took a sip of her drink.

 

“What show?� Marty had taken a bathroom break, so Trace caught the tail end of their conversation.

 

“Nosey much.� She teased.

 

“One of her pussycat doll shows.�

 

“You were a pussycat doll?� Trace raised an intrigued eyebrow at Justin. He just grinned devilishly and nodded his head approvingly.

 

Kiki rolled her eyes at their reaction. It was typical whenever a guy found out she was a part of the show. You would think she told them she slid down a pole for a living the way they leered at her.

 

“Is that your only tattoo?� Justin asked.

 

“No I have my zodiac sign on my thigh and..� She lifted her right pant leg to show him the pink and black ballet slipper ribbon tied around her ankle. “The last one.�

 

“No boyfriends’ names tattooed in any secret places?�

 

“Hell no.�

 

Marty had returned and they went back to playing. Distracted by the game, Trace said without thinking. “Smart girl. Stupid over here wanted to tat 'Pinky' on his arm. Good thing I talked him out of that one huh?� He laughed until he turned towards Kiki and saw that she wasn't laughing at all. No one was and that’s when it dawned on him. He looked at Justin and he felt like kicking himself. His face and whole demeanor looked sullen. “Dude. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking…�

 

“No it’s cool. I’m over it remember?� He cleared his throat and stood up, walking swiftly to the bar. “I’m gonna go get some more ice.� He grabbed the ice bucket and quickly left the room.

 

The door clicked shut and Marty threw a pillow at Trace.

 

“Nice job man.�

 

“Shit. I didn’t mean it like that. He’s my boy and everything, but it’s not like she up and left him. She cheated on him. He needs to get over it, she’s not fuckin’ worth it.�

 

So the rumors were true, Kiki thought. No wonder he practically ran out of here.

 

Suddenly Lonnie’s cell started ringing. He saw it was Justin calling and quickly answered. “Hey you alright?....You know one of us has to be with you J -…..Alright, alright. I’ll be down in a minute.� He snapped his phone shut and got up quickly.

 

“What’s wrong?� Eric asked, ready to jump up and follow him.

 

“Nothing. J’s just down in the gym blowing off some steam. I’ll go down with him, but he said he wants to be alone.�

 

“Damn.� Trace mumbled feeling guilty for opening his mouth.

 

“Call me if you need me.� Eric told Lonnie as he left the room.

 

“Well that just blew the fuckin’ mood.� Marty tossed the game controller on the floor. “I don’t know about ya’ll, but I need some real food.� He stood up and rubbed his stomach, there was nothing filling about Cheetos and cookies. They might as well leave now anyway, Justin would probably want to be alone whenever he came back.

 

“You goin’ across the street?� Eric asked. There was a plaza there with some restaurants and he could use something real to eat too. Marty said he was so Eric decided to join him.

 

“We’ll see ya’ll later.� 

 

That left Kiki and Trace in the suite worrying about Justin and unsure if they should leave too.

 

“Don’t feel bad Tracey.� The guilt was coming off of him in waves. “I get the feeling Justin doesn’t talk about the break up much?�

 

“He sings about it.�

 

“Well that obviously isn’t working given his reaction just now. Maybe if he actually talked to someone he might finally move on.� Maybe he’d talk to me.

 

“He needs to cause it’s not healthy to still be hanging on to that bullshit.� He got out of his seat, preparing to leave. “We should go so he can have his brooding time when he gets back.� Kiki made no move to follow him out and he smirked down at her. “You’re gonna hang back and try to talk to him, aren’t you?�

 

She shrugged coyly. “Can’t hurt to try.�

 

Trace nodded. “Alright. I’ll catch you later then. Good luck.�

 

“Thanks.�

 

For the next hour, Kiki nervously sat by herself flipping through channels waiting for Justin. He eventually returned and stopped in his tracks when he saw she was the only one still there, sitting in the same spot.

 

“Why are you still here?�

 

 She shrugged nervously, hoping he wouldn’t be mad. “I just-“

 

She didn’t have to finish that sentence he already knew why. “I don’t want to talk about it.� He interrupted.

 

“I think you should.�

 

He sighed, torn between keeping it all in and spilling the whole sorted story to her. “Let me just grab a shower real quick.� He needed to think before he said anything.

 

“Okay.� Kiki smiled slightly. He didn’t tell her to go away so she thought he might just talk to her.

 

Justin came out of his bedroom after his shower, toweling off his short hair. He looked refreshed with a clean pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt on, but that was on the surface. Looking into his eyes, Kiki could see that he was tired. It had to be tiring still carrying that kind of grief and pain around.

 

He released a deep breath that sagged his whole body as he looked at her. “I don’t think I want to talk about it.� During his shower he fought with himself the entire time. Should I get this off my chest or keep it inside? Seeing her face right now, he felt like he needed to keep it in. He didn’t want to seem weak and fall apart in front of her.

 

“It might make you feel better.�

 

“How would you know?� He snapped at her. She had no idea how he felt.

 

“Don’t snap at me.� She understood that he felt like he was going to break any minute and didn’t want to be push, so her tone was gentle yet stern. She didn’t deserve his anger when she was just trying to help. “I do know what its like to have your heart broken by a cheater.�

 

That, cooled him down and he saw that her concern was out of empathy, not pity. She went through the same thing as he did and she seemed to have healed from it. Perhaps she was the one to talk to. “What happened to you?�

 

She sighed before starting her tale. “We were together for a little over 2 years, but what I didn’t know was that I wasn’t the only one.� Justin came around the couch and took a seat next to her. “After I caught him in the act, I found out that he’d been cheating on me for almost the entire time we were together.� She hadn’t been blinded by love though, it was just that, “we went to different schools so it made it easy for him to play me.� She sneered; still a little mad at the lack of respect her ex showed her. “I was a mess for awhile. It took some time to get over it, but I did. I survived.� She gave him a reassuring smile. “I’ll never forget Devon though. You never forget your first love or your first real heartbreak. Especially when both are wrapped up in one person.� She snorted at the irony of it. “You just don’t forget when people hurt you like Devon did me and Britney did you.� Thinking about the way his relationship ended brought tears to Justin’s eyes and he turned his face away so she couldn’t see. Kiki knew he was crying though and she didn’t stop him. He needed to get it out. Instead she affirmed. “But you do move on. You make damn sure you move on because it is not worth hanging on to pain caused by people like them.� Justin wiped his tears and turned back to her staring at him. It was like she was willing him to break pain’s hold on his heart. “Especially if they’re people you almost made the mistake of giving everything to.�

 

“I did give everything to her.�

 

“No you didn’t because you’re still a good person. If you had given everything of yourself to her, you’d be a heartless asshole… Instead of just your basic asshole.� She added in and it caused a bark of laughter to come from him. She smiled in relief. He was coming out of his funk a little.

 

“Damn and here I thought I was a special brand.�

 

She laughed at his satire and grabbed one of his hands resting on the back of the sofa. “We both almost gave people we were in love with all of ourselves, but we found out the truth before we could be broken instead just getting a little reversibly damaged. And I for one am glad. My heart was able to heal and as sad as it sounds. I am happy to be a 21 years old virgin as apposed to giving it up to that son of a bitch.�

 

With a question in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, Justin asked. “You still are?�

 

“Yes. I am a proud virgin.�

 

He nodded. “You should be, that’s admirable, but um…There must be something wrong with the dudes in Santa Monica.� He looked her up and down and shook his head.

 

She laughed. “They're not perfect but then again Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist.� She smirked, taking a jab at him and he nudged her. “Being in love isn’t a requirement seeing as I know that the one you're in love with can be the worse candidate.  I’m just waiting for someone that I care about, trust and feel connected to so that I’ll always be able to look back on it as a special moment that I don’t regret.� She explained the best way she could. “I don’t know it’s hard to explain.�

 

“No I get it. I wasn’t in love with the first girl I slept with, but I cared about her. I still do to this day and I still consider her a good friend. We shared something special and I’ll never regret it.�

 

“If it can’t be with the guy I’m going to spend the rest of my life with then that’s what I want. And I’m just going to patiently wait until I find it.�

 

They sat in silence for awhile, taking stock of what they just shared with each other. Justin was a little amazed at how well she read him. He hadn’t said much, a lot less than he thought he would when he finally let it out to someone. Still she managed to figure out exactly how he felt and cleaned up so many of the mixed emotions he’d been feeling. But there was still one thing he wondered about.

 

“How did you not end up jaded?�

 

Breathing deeply, Kiki thought back on how she moved from her “I hate all men� frame of mind to being able to date again and pursued the last relationship she had. “Despite the fact that the whole relationship was a lie. What I felt was real, I was truly in love. It was just with the wrong person.� She let out a hollow laugh, but then a big smile came over her face. “It felt good though. Didn’t it feel great to be in love?� He couldn’t deny that is was a good feeling. “I want to feel that way again. I want to be in love like my parents. Where you’re happily married for 20 plus years, you have a home and babies together. I want all that mushy, sappy stuff.�

 

“You’re a romantic.�

 

“So are you or you wouldn’t be so bent over this.� She pinned him dead on. “You’ll get over the ‘jaded, afraid of relationships’ phase too. It just takes time like it’ll take time for you to heal. You’ll be fine.�

 

“So it’s a waiting game?�

 

“Yup, but in the mean time be happy you survived and enjoy the things you do have in your life. Your friends, family.�

 

“Friends.� He repeated and smiling, he looked at her. “Can you believe we’re friends?�

 

Kiki giggled. “Tell me about it. I’m glad that we are though.� She gave him a bright smile and he returned the same. “So all this smiling and laughing – does it mean you’re feeling better?�

 

“Getting there.� He felt like those wounds had closed up a little bit more. “Thank you Kiki.�

 

She looked in his eyes and could see how serious he was and it made her happy that she truly had made things a little better for him. “You’re welcome.�

 

They were still holding hands as they continued to just watch each other. Justin’s grip on her hand tightened and he pulled her over to him, embracing her.

 

They held each other for a moment until Justin whispered. “Do you like to cuddle?�

 

Before she could answer, he laid back on the sofa taking her down with him. They both giggled a little and did some rearranging before they settled comfortably. Kiki was lying at Justin’s side with her head on his chest and both his arms were wrapped around her.

 

“Now this was how the night was supposed to end in Seattle.�

 

Her head popped up and she looked at him with wide eyes. “What?�

 

A cocky smile came over his face and he gloated. “So I’m cute when I’m drunk.�

 

Her mouth gapped. “You little shit. You were awake the whole time.�

 

“I didn’t wake up till you tried to leave me.� He pouted. “You won’t leave me this time will you?� She giggled as he started to whimper like a lost puppy.

 

“Oh I guess I can stay.� She dramatically relented and rested her head back on his chest. “A good cuddle with a cute and this time, conscious guy is always nice.� She teased.

 

“Very true, but it’s even better when you can reach the remote.� Kiki leaned up to see the device on the coffee table more than an arms length away. Justin wiggled his body around so that he was leaning half away off the sofa to reach for it. Once it was in his grasp she grabbed his shirt and pulled him back before he fell over and probably took her down with him.

 

“Ok now we’re good.� He got back into his previous position and clicked the TV on.

 

After debating on what to watch they agreed on an episode of Blind Date. Some good laughs after a highly emotional afternoon was due. It wasn’t long before sleep overtook them both and they were out for the night.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Sunlight streamed through the windows, bathing the living room and waking Kiki. She yawned and was stretching when out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone making coffee at the bar.

 

“Uh, hello?�

 

“Good morning sweetie.� Lynn’s frame came into view at the end of the couch. She had arrived this morning from Tennessee and was more than a little surprised to find these two sleeping together. It was a good surprise though. Her son and Kiki were obviously getting closer.

 

Lynn stood there smiling and shifting her eyes between her and Justin still asleep behind her. Kiki could only image what she was thinking about the position they were in. She had totally forgotten Justin said his mother was coming to visit this week. “Uh hi, Ms. Lynn.� She grinned nervously and elbowed Justin’s stomach. “Justin, get up.�

 

“Mmm.� He groaned and pulled her closer to his body, making Kiki’s departure that more difficult. Here we go again. What am I his teddy bear?

 

“Honey.� His mother’s unmistakable southern drawl had the desired effect and Justin’s eyes popped open.

 

His head lifted off the pillow and he saw her standing there smiling away. “Ma? How’d you get in here?�

 

Kiki went to untangle herself again, but Justin keep a casual grip on her like it was an everyday occurrence for his mother to find them spooning together.

 

Lynn tilted her head at him and replied. “You know me better than that honey. But I would have just gone to my room instead if I knew you had company.�

 

“It’s okay.� Was all Justin said, but Kiki thought much more needed to be said. Did he not catch the way she said company?

 

When Justin stretched out, Kiki used the opening to practically leap off the couch. She nervously straightened out her shirt and reset her hair into a ponytail.

 

Justin looked up at her as she put herself together and he smiled. “We fell asleep.�

 

“Yeah…Yes! Yes, we did.� She stated firmly looking at Lynn out the corner of her eye to make sure she got the point.

 

It was clear Kiki was embarrassed about his mother finding them asleep together, but it was totally innocent it wasn’t like they had been caught having sex. Mmmm. “Oh Kiki.� Justin sing songed, teasing her as he shook his head. He stood up, looked straight at her, but said to Lynn. “Ma, me and Kiki didn’t have sex last night.�

 

Total shock washed over Kiki’s face – her mouth fell open and her bulging eyes darted towards Lynn. “I..I..I.� She sputtered looking between amused mother and son.

 

“You..You..You.� Justin mocked. “What? We didn’t have sex, right? Unless something happened last night that I need to know about. Did you take advantage of me Kiki?� He smiled devilishly as she stood there completely flustered, her face tinted red.

 

He was teasing her, messing with her head. Ass! “Ooh.� She growled and pointed a manicured finger at him. “You make me sick.� He was cheesing at her and she was trying her damnedest not to smile as they stared each other down.

 

They were interrupted however by Lynn’s laughter. “You two are quite the entertaining pair.� Not to mention a cute pair…couple some day soon?

 

“Your son is quite the pain in my ass.�

 

“A very cute ass by the way.� He grinned and she smacked him in the arm.

 

Their banter was disturbed by Kiki’s cell phone going off. She answered it and was greeted with Kevin and Jade on speaker phone.

 

“What happened?.... Seriously?......I knew it! I knew she was going to pull that shit. That’s why I had started interviewing for her replacement……Yes most of them did look good, but there was this one guy that I really liked….Yes in the second drawer…..Okay let me call you guys back and we’ll pick someone…..Okay. Bye.�

 

“Is everything okay at your club?� Lynn knew of the problems and frustrations that came with running your own business.

 

“Actually it’s really good. Remember that massage therapist I was telling you about?� She asked Justin.

 

“The crazy chick, right?�

 

“Yeah. She quit. Now I can hire someone who’s sane.�

 

“Well that’s good, but its means you gotta go huh?�

 

“Yeah. We have to decide who’s going to replace her.�

 

“Damn, I was hoping to take you two ladies out to breakfast this morning.�

 

Both Justin and Lynn were disappointed, but for different reason. Justin wanted to spend some more time with her while Lynn wanted to get a better look at the two of them together to figure out what exactly was going on. Her spy had been quiet recently on the Justin and Kiki front. But there was definitely something happening between them that she needed to know about. What could she say, her son got his nosey-ness naturally. 

 

“Aww, raincheck?�

 

“Absolutely.� He winked at her. “I guess it’s just you and me then Ma.�

 

“That’s too bad I was hoping to find out if Kiki deflated that ego of yours anymore.�

 

Justin frowned at her. “That’s wrong Ma. You’re supposed to be on my side.� Lynn just rolled her eyes at him.

 

Kiki bit her lip to stifle her giggles as she watched the exchange between the two. It was a very special relationship that they shared. They were best friends as well as mother and son and the way they joked around with each other was so cute. Lynn was very loving and supportive of her son and Justin adored his mother.

 

Hmm, they say if you want to know how he’ll treat you look at the way he treats his mother. She smiled to herself at the thought.

 

“Well I better get going.� She moved towards the door and Justin scurried across the space between them.

 

“Wait I’ll walk you out.� He smiled brightly at her.

 

Shaking herself from the daze his smile had her under, Kiki waved to Lynn. “Bye Ms. Lynn.�

 

“Bye sweetie.�

 

Lynn couldn’t hear what they were saying as she watched Justin walked Kiki to the door and see her off, but their body language spoke volumes. They stood very close, holding hands, smiling and not taking their eyes off of each other. She smiled at the match thinking this sassy, grounded young woman would be perfect for her son.

 

 

“Hey.� Justin stopped Kiki in the hall before she could get too far away from the door. Leaning against the frame, he looked at her in a way she’d never seen. Dreamy like. “You’re pretty cute when you’re asleep.�

 

He was watching me sleep?…..That’s kind of sweet. She sighed at the thought and smiled shyly at him. She felt so dumb, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and biting on her bottom lip like a school girl with a crush, but it couldn’t be helped. He was making her feel all warm and giddy.

 

“I’ll see you on stage tonight.�

 

He watched her turn and walk down the hallway until she disappeared around the corner.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

The door closed and before Justin could turn around and see her watching, Lynn pretended as if she was searching through her purse.

 

“Hey Ma.� He came over and finally gave her a “hello� hug. “How was your flight?�

 

“Good.�

 

“Good.� He repeated. “I’m going to go take a shower and change. Then I’ll take you out to breakfast.�

 

“Perfect.� A catered interrogation.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Kiki went down to the breakfast bar and grabbed herself a muffin and juice. She sat at one of the tables in the hotel lounge and decided with Kevin and Jade to hire Dave Jacobs as Key West’s new massage therapist. She went back to her room and was relieved when she found that Tori was already gone. She really didn’t want to explain why she didn’t come back to the room last night. Not only was it no one’s business, but she wasn’t even sure what happened last night or this morning. Things were changing between her and Justin and she didn’t know where they were headed and if it was in a good or bad direction. 

 

She decided a nice run might help her clear her mind. She changed into some shorts and a tank and headed down to the gym. She got there and found Alex running on one of the treadmills. She was tempted to turn around and leave. Tori no doubt told him about her absence from their room at breakfast and she didn’t want to talk about it with him either. But it wasn’t like she had anything to hide, nothing happened right?

 

Choosing to just not comment if he asked, Kiki hopped on the treadmill next to him. “Hey.�

 

Alex noted her presence and put his music on pause. “There you are. Where were you this morning?....And last night?�

 

She shrugged like it was no big deal. “I fell asleep on Justin’s couch last night.�

 

Alex’s eyebrows arched and he smirked at her. “Mmhmm.� His tone was suspicious.

 

She followed up with a nonchalant, “mmhmm,� and slipped her ear buds in as she started up the treadmill.

 

Alex watched her ignore him for awhile before he went back to his workout with a grin on his face. He had a phone call to make later today.

 

Activate the grapevine…..

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

“And I’ll take those eggs scrambled.� Justin finished his order and handed his menu back to the waitress.

 

She left to go put in their orders and Lynn didn’t hesitate to start her questioning. “So you had a sleepover last night?� She asked very casually.

 

Justin just blinked at her. He knew what she was getting at and he wasn’t surprised that she was questioning him. The way she found him and Kiki this morning probably looked very suspicious, but for him, it felt really good to wake up with her there. After last night, finding comfort in her arms was very soothing. It was no big deal though. Right?

 

“We fell asleep after talking most of the night.�

 

“Oh.� She’s not done. “What about?�

 

He could have lied, but for some reason he felt comfortable with telling her the truth. “Britney.�

 

Lynn’s eyes trained on him then. “And?� Was he finally opening up to someone about the break up? Other than some songs on the album and the one talk he had with her, he seemed to have put a wall around himself. She had been worried that he wasn’t really dealing with his heartache and keeping it all in was only hurting himself. If he had opened up to Kiki she was surprised since they hadn’t known each other long. But never the less, she was glad he had found someone to lean on.

 

“She gave me a new perspective on things and I actually feel better about everything.� He smiled genuinely. His happy face made a smile pop on hers as well.

 

It was a relief to know that he was happy again and was moving on. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m glad she was there for you.�

 

“So am I.� He smiled and repeated to his self. “So am I.�

 

The waitress came with their orders then, but Justin was still thinking about last night with Kiki. It was crazy how she just came into his life and was already making it brighter.

 

Kiki was walking cheerily back to her hotel room after snagging the last Snickers from the vending machine when someone called out to her.

 

“Hey Kiki! Wait up.� She turned around to see the green eyed brunette coming down the hall towards her.

 

“Hi Sean. How are you?� Sean was one of the Stripped dancers and they had talked and hung out from time to time in the halls at a venue or during the after parties.

 

“I’m good. You?� She told him she was good, just tired. “Well if you’re not too tired. I was wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner with me tonight.�

 

Going out for a nice casual dinner would be a welcomed change of pace in comparison to the normal club hopping or hanging out in either hers or one of her friend’s rooms for the night. Besides Sean was a nice guy and he was cute.

 

“Why not?� She agreed.

 

“Great. How about we meet in the lobby around 8? There’s a nice Italian restaurant a few blocks from here.�

 

“Sounds good.�

 

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.�

 

He rubbed her arm in parting and jogged down the hall to catch up with his friends.

 

Kiki walked away with a smile, wondering what she was going to wear tonight.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

A half an hour before her date, she was getting ready while Alex and Tori were lounging around the room waiting to see the final results. Color them surprised when she told them she was going out with some guy that wasn’t Justin. They had to witness this.

 

“Guys. Should I wear my hair up or down?� She came out of the bathroom in her bra and panties, holding her hair up in a pseudo up do to demonstrate for them. She got the shock of her life when she found Justin, Trace and Marty sitting around the room. “Holy shit!� She cried and ran back into the bathroom.

 

Justin’s eyes widened and he straightened up in his seat, Trace whistled and Marty said. “Hey, hey come back. I didn’t get a good look.�

 

“Too damn bad.� She yelled from behind the door. “Tori, Alex? Can one of you bring me my clothes please?�

 

Being the closest Alex gathered her dress that she had laid out and handed it to her through the crack she opened in the doorway.

 

“Damn.� Justin mumbled to himself and grinned as the now permanent picture of a half naked Kiki danced in his head.

 

“Ey, Tori.� Trace called from across the room. “It’s your turn for a little show and tell.� He flirted and not looking up from the book she was reading, she gave him the finger for his trouble.

 

A few moments later, Kiki came out of the bathroom in a simple black spaghetti strapped dress. “How do I look?�

 

She got “beautiful�, “great� or in Trace and Marty’s case, “hot� as responses, but Justin asked. “Where exactly are you going dressed like that?�

 

The jealous tone in his voice was unmistakable, but Kiki chose to ignore it, too occupied with putting on her shoes and jewelry.

 

“She’s got a date.� Tori offered the answer even thought it was basically a lie. Kiki had said that it wasn’t a date, just dinner. She told Justin the opposite just to see how he would react and he didn't disappoint.

 

This time his voice raised slight when he asked. “With who?�

 

Trace clearly heard the anger in his best friend’s voice and looked over to see the scowl on his face. He grinned when he remembered how attached to Kiki Justin had become and the obvious jealousy he was showing at the prospect of her being interested in someone else. “J’s eyes are looking a little green aren’t they?� He leaned over to ask Marty and they both snickered at their friend’s expense.

 

“None of your business.� Kiki answered this time with a smirk on her face. She wasn’t blind to his reaction either, but what right did he have getting all bent out of shape about her night out with Sean? How many girls did she see him with at parties and eventually take back to his hotel room?

 

Her outfit was now complete, so she addressed only Tori and Alex for a useful final critique.

 

“You look perfect, babe.� Alex said and Tori agreed.

 

“Alright then I gotta go. We’re meeting down in the lobby in about 5 minutes.� She grabbed her purse off the dresser and her key card. “See ya guys later.� She yelled over her shoulder as she dashed out of the room.

 

“So will there not be a second date because she’d rather be with Justin, whose hip she’s usually attached to or because the green eyed monster over there will kill him?� Tori whispered to Alex and the two giggled. They had been waiting for Justin’s reaction since he and the guys showed up while Kiki was in the bathroom. In the end his obvious jealousy proved yet again that he and Kiki were moving pass friendship into something more. The fuse on those fireworks between them was just getting shorter and shorter.

 

They all went back to chatting and watching TV, except for Justin. He was lost in his own world worrying over what might happen between Kiki and this guy on their date.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Coming back a few hours later, Kiki found that Justin was still in her room, reclining on her bed watching Nick at Nite.

 

“Are you the only one still here?�

 

“Yeah.� He replied, glancing at her to see if there was some remnants of a goodnight kiss on her face. Only a small amount of relief washed over him when he saw no signs of smudged lipstick or deshoveled clothing. Maybe nothing physical happened, but that didn't mean they hadn't connected on another level. Somehow he had to find out or it would drive him crazy.

 

Kiki braced herself on the wall and bent down to take off her shoes as she asked. “Where’s Tori?�

 

“She and Alex went out to some club with Trace and Marty.�

 

Digging through her duffle for some pjs, she asked. “Why didn’t you go with them?�

 

He shrugged. “Didn’t feel like it.�

 

“Hmm.� Thinking nothing of it, she took the t-shirt and shorts she found into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

 

“How was your date?� He finally asked while managing to sound pretty casual.

 

“I wouldn’t call it a date per say, but it was okay. I had a good time and he was really sweet, but we didn’t click like that at all.� She said through the cracked door. “I think he felt the same way. Neither one of us mentioned going out again so it doesn’t look like it’ll be going anywhere. I didn’t really want it to, to be honest.� By the end of dinner, she found that she just wasn’t interested in him like that.

 

Justin could barely hide his elation at hearing that the date was a bust and she wouldn’t be going out on a second one. He felt like jumping up and down on the bed for joy.

 

He was a paranoid wreck the whole time that she was gone. Thinking about what they were doing and if this guy was hitting on her or making a lasting impression. He knew it was a little weird, him sitting alone in her hotel room while she was out on a date, but he couldn’t leave. Even the sickening thought of her returning with her date couldn’t make him move. But thankfully she came in alone and didn’t seem to mind that he was still here.

 

Justin was even happier he stayed when she came out of the bathroom and cuddled up next to him on the bed. A big smile spread on his face and he wrapped an arm around her.

 

Totally oblivious to the happiness she was causing him, Kiki swiped the remote from off his stomach and started flipping through channels to see what else was on. They decided to order a movie and half way through they were both asleep.

 

 

 

The next morning they woke up to hearing someone banging on the front door. They both just rolled over at the sound, but Tori eventually got up to answer it and found that it was Lonnie causing all the noise.

 

“Hey is Kiki here? Does she know where Justin is?� He asked with a flicker of panic his voice.

 

Jerking her thumb back towards the room, she yawned “they’re both asleep� and went back to bed leaving the door open for him to follow.

 

Upon seeing his charge laid out on one of the double beds with Kiki tucked against his side, he felt relief flood through him and then growled in annoyance. “Justin, get up. We’ve been looking for you all over.�

 

The knocking had barely brought him to the surface of consciousness, but Lonnie’s booming voice had him wide awake now. He reluctantly sat up and yawned loudly with a stretch of his body. “You knew where I was last night.�

 

“It doesn’t matter. You know you’re supposed to check in.� Lonnie said as he made himself comfortable in one of the lounge chairs. “It's done now, but we gotta go. You got that radio shit to do this morning.�

 

“Fuck.� He groaned as he remembered what his schedule was like today. “What time is it? And what time is the interview?�

 

“Its almost 6 now. You gotta be at the station by 8.�

 

Nodding, he reached over Kiki’s sleeping form for his cell on the bedside table to see if he had any missed calls. Yawning once again, he asked. “Johnny called you or anything?�

 

“Nah, but I’m pretty sure-“

 

Tori’s tired and irritated voice cut in. “Is it possible for the two of you to take this conversation elsewhere? Some people are trying to go back to sleep.�

 

“Thank. You.� Came from Kiki who they all assumed was still asleep.

 

Trying to see her face that was buried in the pillow, Justin leaned over her body on his elbow. “Good morning.�

 

She rolled over to face him and cracking her eyes open slightly, she mumbled. “Morning.�

 

“Have lunch with me today.� He sat up again and started rubbed her hip.

 

“Ok.� She groaned as she stretched and then curled back up, snuggling down into the mattress. “Call me when you’re done with whatever you got going on this morning.�

 

“Ok.� Seeing her bare leg peeking out of the covers he began stroking it, from her knee down to her toes where he tickled her.

 

“Stop it.� She ordered and tried to hide her leg back under the covers, but Justin held on tight. “Stop Justin. Get out of here before you’re late and you get in trouble.� She kicked at him.

 

He stopped tickling her, but kept a hold of her leg, stroking it again. “Alright.� He lifted her leg and kissed her ankle, sending a chill through her body. “Bye babe.�

 

“Bye.� She practically purred from his kiss.

 

“Bye Tori.� Justin whispered as he and Lonnie moved towards the door and she threw up a hand, waving goodbye.

 

“Bye ladies.� Lonnie’s smooth base voice sounding through the otherwise silent room made the girls giggle.

 

“Bye Lonnie.� They both said in unison with sugar sweet voices.

 

He chuckled as he closed the door behind them and it didn’t take long before they fell back to sleep.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Both Justin and Lonnie were silent as they walked to the elevator, but once the doors shut Justin spoke up.

 

“What man?� He could feel Lonnie shooting looks at him all the way down the hall.

 

Lonnie started chuckling. “Nothing. Its just Kiki’s was the last room I came to looking for you. You looked pretty comfortable in bed with her and I’m just wondering if I should bother looking for you anywhere else from now on.�

 

Watching the floor indicator lights climbed higher, Justin smirked. “Maybe Lon. Maybe.�

 

Time on tour went by and Justin and Kiki became nearly inseparable. They may have claimed to be “just friends,� but everyone knew that wasn’t going to last much longer.

 

Kiki was sitting alone curled up on a couch in the arena green room listening to her MP3 player and flipping through a Cosmo. Most of the crew including Alex and Tori went to a double feature at the movie theater downtown a few blocks from the arena. After being kept out all night by Justin, she was too tired and wasn’t about to waste her money on a movie she’d probably fall asleep on. She needed some R&R before the show started and was definitely not going out tonight no matter how much Justin whined about how “its no fun without you there Kik.� She rolled her eyes, he was such a brat sometimes.

 

She was reading an article when the next track on her playlist came on and she smirked. "Speak of the devil." Let’s Take a Ride, was one of her favorite song now-a-days. When they were given copies of the album after the first rehearsal she went home to listen to it and fell in love with the song.

 

If she wasn’t alone right now, Kiki wouldn’t even entertain the idea of singing along. Singing in front of strangers was not something she enjoyed, it only happened when she had no other choice. Sharing her voice was a private thing for her and only her close friends and family were privy to it. She couldn’t explain how she could dance at the drop of a hat in front of anyone, but ask her to sing and she practically froze. The last time she sang in front of a crowd was in her senior production of Grease and that was only because it was like a final project, either sing or not graduate.

 

Looking around the room to make sure it was empty, she gave in to her urge.

 

I know that life is hard on you
And you can't seem to find out why
I'll explain, just grab your coat, girl
And just join me on this ride

Let's take a ride, on the country side
Let's just get away
We can spend the night, till the morning light
Let's just get away

 

Justin walked through the hallways after an hour of tedious interviews from various local publications and was checking each room looking for Kiki. He was pissed off by the annoying interviewers and their annoying ass repetitive questions, and need her to calm him down. She was the only one on this tour who he could go to, to find a little bit of peace and he needed that before he went on stage tonight. To his surprise he found her all alone in the green room singing one of his songs.

 

He stood in the doorway, watching her and was mesmerized. He had no idea she could sing. He was impressed. This girl had a body that could move and now come to find out, a voice to boot.

 

Maybe if you consider us just riding

That once you feel like a winner

No more crying

And baby I know just what you need (I know)

To let your hair down so that you feel free, yea (Hair, yea yea yea)

 

It hurts me to watch you see it through (It hurts me baby)

Girl you're so confused (Let's get away)

And I know what to....

 

She trailed off when she noticed him standing there and ducked her head down in embarrassment while she pulled her ear buds out. There was a long silence before she worked up enough courage to say, “hi�.

 

Her embarrassment only escalated when for a few seconds Justin said nothing, but then he spoke up. “Keep going. You’ve got a great voice.� His smile gleamed at her as he finally moved from the doorway to sit beside her. “Why didn’t you tell me you could sing? Why don’t you sing?�

 

Still blushing, she sighed and explained. “It’s something I just happen to be good at. Singing's not really my thing. I actually get really nervous when I sing in front of people, strangers." He could definitely see that as she fidgetted with the cord of her earphones. It was a rare sight to see coming from Kiki who was always so confident, especially when she was performing in front of an audience. "Dancing is my thing and I'm comfortable doing that anywhere, any way. It's what makes me happy. I love teaching - watch my students, especially the younger ones, when they finally get a step right and their excitement over it.� Thinking about her students always put a smile on her face and Justin could see how happy her job made her. Although they generally worked in different avenues, one of the reasons he felt a connection with her was because of their shared passion for music. “Besides your nonexistent private life is a good reason for me not to want to go pro.�

 

“Tell me about it.� He sneered being reminded of the last hour of press he had done.

 

Seeing the shift in his mood, Kiki said. “Uh oh. I’m guessing the interviews didn’t go well?�

 

“Of course not because all they wanted to talk about was Britney and the fuckin’ break up. Not my music.� He was tired of people focusing on the past. Sure the biggest hit on his album was about the end of their relationship, but he was just tired of the same questions. If people didn’t get the picture from the lyrics or the damn video, then in his opinion their dumb asses shouldn’t bother listening or watching.

 

“Aww babe, I’m sorry.� She wrapped an arm around him and he nestled into her shoulder. “You know those reporters are like a dog with a bone. Once they get a hold of some juicy news they suck on it until it’s dry. You just gotta be patient. Soon or later when people get tired of hearing the same ‘ol story, they’ll stop paying attention and when their magazines stop selling, they’ll get the hint to move on.� It may not be on the same level, but Kiki did know what it was like to be the subject of gossip from back in her high school and college days. Much like the media, classmates would lust after any kind of scandal they could find and blathered on about it till the bitter end. “I see how much you love music, Justin. How happy it makes you. Just remember that, remember the little boy on Star Search with the cowboy hat on. How happy he was just to be able to sing his little heart out for the crowd.� He growled at her and she giggled.

 

Trace had showed her some old footage of Justin on Star Search, MMC and of course the infamous beauty contest on the internet awhile back. The next day Kiki teased Justin mercilessly until he kicked her out of his dressing room. Since then every once in awhile she would comment on the footage to get a good laugh when he got annoyed.

 

“No seriously though, no matter what they say Justin you’re a good person and an amazing artist. Don’t let them steal your joy.�

 

He couldn’t help but smile at her reassurance, even if what she was saying he had heard a million times from Johnny or his mother. The fact that it was coming from Kiki made it all the more comforting. She was right, he loved music and he couldn’t image a life where he wasn’t creating and performing it. As long as he remembered the feeling the music gave him he could bare the pressures of the media and fans.

 

“Feel better?� She noticed his frown had disappeared and a small smile formed on his lips.

 

He nodded. “You always make me feel better.�

 

“It’s my pleasure cause Lord knows I cannot take a grumpy Justin.� She half joked. Yes it had been awhile since the last time she had to cuss him out for being an asshole and she wasn’t in the mood for a reoccurrence. But she was more relieved just to see him in a better mood.

 

“Whatever.� He rolled his eyes at her. “Now back to your singing.� He grinned as she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. Now that he knew about her hidden talent he wanted to know, specifically, about her choice of singing material. “Why is it out of all songs I find you singing, it was that one?�

 

“I love that song.� She answered honestly even though she knew he was fishing for a compliment. “It’s one of my favorites on your album, all your ballads too. I wish you would sing more of them during your show.�

 

“You’re gonna be sick of my voice by the end of this tour, aren’t you?�

 

“Nope. I happen to like your voice.� She brought her hand up to his neck and absent-mindedly stroked where his voice box lay and he savored her touch. He moved to stretch his long body out on the couch, resting his head in her lap. Her soft caressing moved to his head where she ran her fingers through his short hair.

 

“I figured you would like the dance songs more.� He yawned and closed his eyes feeling sleep starting to take over.

 

“I like them, but your ballads and low keys tracks are my favorite.� She yawned too, a reminder that she was just as tired as him and she snuggled back into the couch. “Which were your favorites to record?� She mumbled right before her eyes closed and she slipped into dreamland. Justin, was already there.

 

The two managed to get about a half an hour of shut eye before a group of dancers and band members came into the room making a bunch of noise. They noticed the two on the couch together and started snickers and whispering before they woke them up. It was kind of funny how Justin and Kiki had gone from practically ripping each other’s heads off to BFFs almost overnight. Gossip had been buzzing around about the two of them being more than that, and some were not surprised. How did the saying go? It’s a thin line between love and hate.

 

Feeling eyes on her, Kiki woke up to five people watching them. “What are you guys staring at?� She rubbed her eyes and stretched out trying to shake herself out of her sleepy state when she was reminded that someone was lying on her. “Justin wake up, we fell asleep.�

 

His only response was a grumble and he turned on his side to bury his face in her stomach.

 

“Justin, wake up.� She pushed him in the shoulder this time to get him to move.

 

“What?!� He snapped at her.

 

“Hey!� She snapped right back as a warning about his temper.

 

“Sorry.� He grumbled again, barely awake. “What’s wrong?�

 

“This time we fell asleep in the green room and now we seem to be a circus attraction or something.�

 

He turned over to look at five of his crew members scrutinizing them. “What the hell are ya’ll looking at?� He could be a totally grump when he woke up and if he couldn’t take it out on Kiki, for fear she would kick his ass. He would take it out on them instead.

 

“Nothing.� They said in unison and dispersed to get away from his wrath.

 

“Ugh. What time is it?� He arched his back and turned toward Kiki.

 

She dug her cell out of the crack in the cushions. “It’s after 4.�

 

“Good, we have another hour till sound check starts.� He rubbed his hands over his face and sat up. “I’m still tired. Are you?�

 

“Yes.� She yawned.

 

“Then let’s go to my dressing room and go back to sleep.� He stood up and offered his hand to her.

 

As tired as she still was Kiki didn’t hesitate and let him pull her up off the couch. Holding hands, they left the green room oblivious to the scandalous looks that past between their observers. Once in his dressing room, they both dropped down on the couch in the same position as before and went right back to sleep.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

A rough week with three city shows - instead of one or two - that had the whole crew wiped out, was finally over. Instead of going out clubbing Kiki and Justin decided to stay in and have a movie night. Some of their friends were staying in as well, so Justin invited them to join him and Kiki in his suite. Including the usual suspects, a group of about seven spread around the living room with an assortment of snacks, drinks and horror flicks.

 

Before the first movie started, Kiki and Alex were having a conversation while he was making a drink for himself at the bar. Overhearing them speaking in Spanish, Justin walked up behind Kiki and whispered sensually in her ear.

 

“You sound so damn sexy when you roll that tongue.� He rubbed her sides briefly before walking away to his bedroom.

 

She quirked an eyebrow at him and jokingly asked. “That turn you on J?�

 

Before entering his room, he looked over his shoulder. “Definitely.�

 

The playful smile Kiki had on her face twitched nervously. The glint in his eye told her that he wasn’t joking like she had been and she felt her heartbeat speeding up.

 

For awhile now she had been trying to ignore her attraction and growing feelings for Justin. He was her boss, fraternizing was not allowed on tour and she thought he didn’t feel the same way about her. Not only was she just a friend but he was still healing from his last relationship. Justin was just kidding with her. Right? He was a nature flirt so his words were just normal flirtatious banter. Right? It was just her imagination that the attraction she felt for him could be mutual. Right?

 

Those thoughts continued to race through her head as she settled into a spot on the love seat and Trace started the movie. Her wandering mind made her unaware of Justin’s return and his approach.

 

She was sitting with her back against the arm rest and her knees bent in front of her when he came up to her and spread her legs apart. “What are you doing?!� She let out a whispered screech. Her initial shock over his forwardness lessened when he turned to sit in between them.

 

“Just getting comfortable.� He snuggled into her chest and propping his feet on the opposite arm rest, silently basking the feeling of her body surrounding him.

 

He enjoyed cuddling with Kiki, but the way they were sitting right now was about much more than comfort for Justin. It was about the intimacy that he wanted with her. He wanted her as more than a friend and now he needed to know if she felt to same way. He’d been flirting with her all night trying to get a reaction out of her. He got one just not the one he was hoping for. But then again her looks of shock over his forwardness was better than looks of disgust. He’d just have to keep working at it until she turned him down or he got what he wanted.

 

“You know I’m getting really tired of being your damn pillow.� No I’m not.

 

“No you’re not and you’re not a pillow. You’re my.…my Baby Doll for me to cuddle. Now be quiet the movie’s starting.� 

 

She scoffed, but didn’t bother arguing with him. Instead she got comfortable, draping her arms over his shoulders and absent-mindedly began to rub his chest as they settled in to watch the movie. 

 

Throughout the night, even when they got up for refills or bathroom breaks, the two stayed in the same position. Caresses between them didn’t stop either, Kiki stroking his chest or scalp and Justin; her legs or arms.

 

Once again they settled right into their natural pattern regardless of any concerns about the new direction their relationship was moving in. It just felt right to be with each other like this. Maybe it wasn’t a crazy notion that they could both want each other and that their friendship was on the brink of crossing the line.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

While Justin was practicing his ballads, the dancers were on break, sitting in the first couple of rows in front of the stage. They were all chatting not really paying attention to what was going on onstage, having seen it a number of times. But when the first note of Justin’s guitar played, Kiki’s attention was peaked and a chill ran down her spine. She had to get out of there now.

 

“I gotta go to the bathroom.� As calmly as possible, she got out of her seat, ready to make a break.

 

Unfortunately her real reason for departure was a known fact to Alex and he thought it was time that the musician on stage knew about it as well. After all the two of them were seconds away from jumping each other, why not give them a little push. A break in the sexual tension between them was way overdue. “Oh no you don’t.� He grabbed her by the waist to stop her as she passed him.

 

“Yes I do Alex let me go.� She was going to start panicking any second now.  With each note that Justin played the stronger the physical effects on her body grew. She was feeling flushed, goose bumps covered her skin yet she was getting hotter and hotter. “Let go right now.�

 

“I don’t think so.�

 

“Alex I’m gonna pee on myself. Let go!�

 

“No you’re not. We both know you do not have to pee.�

 

Her head whipped in his direction and her eyes widened when she realized he knew her secret and was about to tell. “ALEX, LET GO!� Their fighting and her yelling had gotten everyone’s attention, including Justin's.

 

He signaled for the band to stop playing. “Hey, what’s going on?�

 

“Nothing!� She cried as she continued to try and pry Alex’s arms from around her stomach.

 

“Actually, Kiki here is trying to make another one of her escapes.�

 

“Alex don’t.�

 

Responding to Justin’s curious look, he explained. “Haven’t you ever noticed that when you start playing your guitar or the piano Kiki disappears?�

 

“Oh God.� Kiki covered her flaming face. It was too late to stop her secret from getting out and all she wanted to do was find a hole to hide in.

 

Justin gave him another clueless look while everyone around them wondered what the hell was going on. “Watching you play an instrument gets her hot.�

 

With that said Alex had no reason to hold on to her anymore and let go. Kiki slinked into the seat next to him, burying her face into the back seat cushion. Around her everyone was laughing or whistling and she knew without even looking Justin had one of his sexy, cocky smirks on his face.

 

“Is that right Baby Doll?� She could hear his voice, laced with a husky lith, behind her. She looked back to see him stand at the edge of the stage leering at her. Pushing down her embarrassment she turned to face him, with her head held high. So what if he turned her on? It didn’t mean anything, a lot of guys turned her on.

 

“Don’t say anything else ok?� She probably could write the “I’m the shit� speech that was about to come out of his mouth. “And you.� She pointed to Alex. “You call yourself my best friend. Big Mouth.�

 

“I was just trying to help you out. The two of you need to just bone and get it over with.�

 

“Amen!� Came from one of the band members while everyone else clapped in mutual agreement.

 

As he arched an eyebrow at her and then licking his lips, Justin said. “Just say the word baby.�

 

“Oh I’ll give you a word, I’ll give you a couple of them…Hell. No.� And she flipped her hood over her head, covering her face and ending any further discussion about the two of them sleeping together.

 

Justin chuckled wholeheartedly as he walked back towards his band so they could start over. “She wants me.� He gloated to his bass player as he strapped his guitar back on and then counted down to for the music to play back again.

 

To save face, Kiki stayed right in her seat but keep her face covered, hoping Justin would just ignore her and concentrate on his sound check. She knew it wasn’t working when she felt his stare and she risked taking a peek. Her cheeks grew hot and red once again when she looked up to see him standing at the edge of the stage, right in front of her sing and strumming away at his guitar. She audibly groaned and pulled the hood down again, hearing everyone including Justin chuckling at her.

 

Once all the ballads were rehearsed and Justin’s tormenting ended, the dancers got back on the stage to practice the last two numbers. Kiki soon found out her torture wasn’t as over as she hoped. Justin took full advantage of her frazzled state and played her body like he played his guitar. He put more pressure into it when he ground their hips together and hands lingered sensually on every inch of her skin that was exposed by her tank top.

 

By the time rehearsals were over Kiki was overheated and ready to get as far away from him as possible so she could regroup. Justin had other plans.

 

As they all walked off stage together, he grabbed a hold of her hand and no matter how hard she tried, his hold was relentless.

 

Passing the other dressing rooms, headed towards his, Ralphie teased the couple. “Better make it a quickie ya’ll. You only have an hour before the show starts.� The group of crew members standing around all cackled together like a pack of hyenas.

 

As they approached Justin’s dressing room, and her smart mouth kicking in, Kiki turned around toward the laughing group as she walked backwards. “Not a problem, he’s probably just a one minute man anyway.� She immediately started giggling as did everyone else except for Justin of course. That’s what he got for teasing her.

 

Break me off, show me what you got, cause I don’t want no one minute man. Gina sang as Kiki popped to the beat until Justin grabbed her and pulled her into his dressing room.

 

The laughter in the hallways was cut off when the door closed behind them. He pushed her up against the closed door and boxed her in with his hands planted on the sides of her head. They both were silent just staring at each other. Kiki could see a hunger burning in his eyes, just as clear as day. They were a dark blue and she could feel herself falling into them, but she shook herself out of his trance and ducked under his arm to move to the center of the room.

 

“So…� She walked over to his vanity and started picking at his jewelry and other accessories cluttering the surface. “What’s up? Did you bring me in here to talk or something?�

 

She knew damn well he didn’t want to talk. She was either play coy to be cute or to avoid what had been building between them for months now. He was tired of it and ready to do something about it. “You honestly think I want to talk right now?�

 

“Hmm.� Kiki snuffed and rolled her eyes at how easy he seemed to think she was. “And you honestly think we’re going to be doing anything other than talking right now? Sorry but I won’t be like that little blonde that was taking the walk of shame from your room last week.� Justin arched a curious eyebrow at her. “Yeah I saw her.� She tried to make a joke out of it to mask the jealousy on her voice.

 

But the cocky grin on his face told her, she was unsuccessful. “Jealous?�

 

“No!� She responded a little too quickly. “No. If I recall that’s your thing.� She gloated, finally revealing that she had been aware of his feeling about her date with Sean. “Besides it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before.�

 

Kiki knew he was with other women, she saw it with her own eyes at many of the after parties, but if she was honest with herself, recently it was making her upset. The truth was she was jealous and tempted to yank the hair off that little blonde’s head when she walked by her that morning. Justin wasn’t her man though, so she had no claim on him.

 

“So it doesn’t bother you?� She shrugged her shoulders in indifference, not wanting to voice her feelings. “I think it does.� He licked his lips and walked her back into the vanity. “Admit it.�

 

Putting his hands on the vanity top, he had her caged in again and wasn’t planning on let her go this time. He leaned down bringing his face closer to kiss her, but first he whispered. “Admit it Kiki.� He breathed against her mouth and when he licked his lips this time his tongue brushed against hers. Her heart was beating rapidly and her breath was coming out in pants. A part of her wanted desperately to kiss him but the other part of her remained wary about the consequence of crossing the line. Justin on the other hand was all for the kiss, he just wanted to tease her a little bit first, but his plans were cut short.

 

“Justin.� Trace knocked on the door. “You in there man?�

 

He groaned at the interruption and dropped his head into the crook of her neck. “Shit.�

 

“You better get that.� She murmured and moved away from him to the other side of the room.

 

Kiki situated her self on the couch and picked up the magazine that was sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She started reading it, trying to look as nature as possible while Justin opened the door. Trace came in the room, sensing something was up with his best friend, but Justin said everything was fine when he asked and looking over at Kiki, she smiled reassuringly. So he dropped it and the three settled in, talking and eventually playing a game of poker before it was time for wardrobe.

 

“I cannot believe she wore that. Does she not own a freakin’ mirror?� Kiki commented on the outfit one of the Hollywood starlets was wearing in the latest issue of In Touch that lay open in front of her, Sarah and Gina.

 

“Either that or she’s fuckin’ blind cause that dress is butt ugly.� Gina mumbled around her bit of French toast and the three girls fell into a fit of giggles.

 

Marty and Ralphie had watched their commentary of each page of the magazine while they put away an amount of food that only men were supposed to be capable of. Good thing breakfast this morning was at good and cheap Denny’s for the 5 of them that had managed to get out of bed. The small group grew by two when a couple of the guys who hadn’t been around lately showed up.

 

“Why are you reading that trash?� With a yawning Trace trailing behind him, Justin swaggered straight towards Kiki, grinning with his eyes trained on her. Kiki nibbled on her bottom lip as her vision seemed to tunnel on him growing closer and closer to the table.

 

Damn he looks good….

 

Damn she looks good…

 

“How was New York?� Sarah asked Trace when he sat next to her and laid his head on her shoulder.

 

“Boring as fuck.� He emphasized at Justin who came out of his trance with Kiki and glared at him. He been listening to Trace complain for the whole two days they were gone about how his presence was unnecessary. Uh who was his PA again and what did they do? Assist maybe? He couldn't really do that if he wasn't around now could he?

 

“It may be trash, but it’s entertaining.� Kiki informed Justin who grabbed a chair from the empty neighboring table and set it next to her. “You shouldn’t be worried about it anyway it’s not like they’re putting you on blast anywhere in here.� She waved the magazine around. “Must mean you were a good boy in NY.�

 

“Do I finally get my present if I was?� He hinted with a dirty grin on his face. It had been two weeks since the almost kiss and they had yet to capitalize on it.

 

“It’s not my fault you’ve been MIA and I haven’t been able to give you your present.�

 

“What can I say I’m a busy boy.� Rave reviews about the tour had been spreading and with that came bookings for interviews, photo shoots, TV appearances, etc. He was flying in to do a show and flying out the same night. It left little time for him to spend time with Kiki.

 

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head pitifully. “Too busy to open your present I guess.� She sighed dramatically.

 

He chuckled at her theatrics. “What if I give you a present? Say tomorrow night?� He propostioned.

 

“You better give me a present tomorrow.�

 

Tomorrow was her 22nd birthday. She may be spending it on tour this year, but she really couldn’t complain. She was in Miami in the summer and she would be surrounded by her newest and oldest friends. Tami and Joey, and Marissa and her fiancé Trent, were coming down to Miami to celebrate with her. They were going club hoppin’ with Justin who knew all the hot spots in town.

 

“You ready for your night?� What Kiki didn’t know was the evening including her friends’ presence was a surprise set up by him. He wanted to do something special for her birthday so with Alex and Trace’s help, he planned a big bash for her. He rented out the VIP of club Velvet for the night and invited loads of people including the crew, some friends of his in town and her friends who he was flying in from LA tomorrow afternoon.

 

“Of course. My outfit and everything’s all ready to go.� She smiled and bounced in her seat with excitement. “My bestest friends in the whole world will be here tomorrow. You get to meet Marissa.�

 

“I get to thank Marissa.� He muttered to himself, he owed her a lot. If it hadn’t been for her he never would have met Kiki. “So this outfit - do I get a peek?�

 

“Nope.�

 

He got up to slide into the booth next to her and started leaning towards her. At first she moved away from him, teasing him, until her side met the corner of the booth and she couldn’t move any farther.  “Did you miss me?�

 

Kiki could feel his warm breath against her cheek and it made her shiver a bit. Justin saw it and chuckled deeply, wrapping an arm around her waist to bring her body close to his. Missed opportunities, busy schedules or whatever, he still had her right where he wanted her.

 

“Maybe.� She murmured as he tucked his head into the curve of her neck and nuzzled at her. She closed her eyes as his nose and mouth grazed her sensitive skin. Goosebumps and shallow breathing was the only response she could give. She was getting swept away by both the physical and emotional effects he was having on her. And right as she was turning her head to give them both what they wanted……Their timing was off again. Actually it was more like their friends were a bunch of blockin’ assholes.

 

“Excuse me Mr. Timberlake and Ms. Lewis, but this is a public restaurant with innocent children about. Show some restraint.� Sarah had been the culprit of their interruption this time with everyone watching, ready to bust a gut laughing at their obvious aggravation.

 

Trace in particular since he had been the one to convince Sarah to do the deed. He could have done it himself, but he had already interrupted one of their kisses that got him a look to kill from Justin and it was an honest mistake. He wasn’t looking to get his ass kicked over this one that was payback for Justin dragging him off to New York when he could have used the time off to go back to LA and see his girl. Luckily she was coming in for the party tomorrow.

Justin groaned and Kiki huffed at their latest interference. Glaring at Sarah along side Kiki, Justin growled. “Right cause Denny’s is such a wholesome environment.� He rolled his eyes and sat back in the booth with his arms stretched out on the back rest. The mood was ruined, they were in a public place and he was irritated. Not a good combination for a first kiss, one that was way overdue and would probably make a scene.

 

 

Kiki giggled at the frustration on his face. Yes, she was frustrated and left wanting each time as well, but she was willing to wait. Especially in their present location. A picture of them slobbing each other down in some magazine was not her idea of memorializing the moment when they did kiss. A relationship with one of his dancers would have scandal written all over it, one she did not want to deal with. Besides the waiting and anticipating would make it much more satisfying when it did happen.

 

Justin cut his eye at her when he heard her giggling. “You’re enjoying this. Watching me be tortured.� She giggled deviously as she nodded. “You’re a fuckin’ tease aren’t you?�

 

She scooped some whipped cream off the top of her hot chocolate and sucked it off her finger. “Maybe.�

 

No kiss, he had yet to really feel her up, sex was far, far away from happening and this girl was already putting him through the ringer. He couldn’t wait to see what she had in store for him now that their friendship was definitely on the back burner and they were on to something better.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

All the girls, including Trace’s girlfriend Elisha, were holed up in Kiki’s room having cocktails and getting ready for the night. They spent a good amount of time perfecting the oblivious birthday girl and she sure as hell didn’t turn away the attention on her day.

 

Meanwhile Justin, Joey, Trent, Alex, and Trace were in the lobby waiting for the ladies to join them. Surprisingly they didn’t have to wait long before the group of women stepped off the elevator. The attention of each of guy shifted to the approaching women and either jaws dropped or eyes bugged, but no one was more awestruck than Justin. 

 

He couldn’t take is eyes off of Kiki who wore a white lace halter top that had him practically drooling over the generous amount of her cleavage it showed. Not wanting to get caught staring at her breasts, his eyes traveled down to the black skirt and pair of black stiletto sandals that accentuated her smooth legs. What got him the most though, was her bone straight hair that he had never seen before and his fingers itched to run through the silky brown locks.

 

A wolf whistle from Kiki broke his stare. “Happy birthday to me. Look at all these hot boys. Ladies I think we might have the sexiest guys in Miami with us tonight.� She slid to the closest male, Alex, and wrapped her hand around the crook of his arm.

 

Tami moved over to Joey’s side and grabbed his butt. “Oh yes.�

 

“Hey! Hey! Hey!� He shook her off and feigned being offended. “I am not a piece of meat.�

 

“Yes you are. You’re MY piece of man meat.� She grabbed a hold of his collar and forcefully pulled him down for a heated kiss that he fully accepted.

 

Their friends looked on, slightly disgusted by the display so Kiki took it upon herself to interrupt. “And with that I think we need to go before Tami rapes Joey right here in the middle of the lobby.�

 

Everyone agreed and as the couple continued to maul each other, the group started toward the exit. Before they reached the two black SUVs waiting at the curb, Justin appeared at Kiki’s side and hooked his arm around her waist.

 

“Ride with me.� He whispered into her ear.

 

She looked at him and blushed at the feeling of his fingers brushing the bare skin at her waist. It sent a warm glow through her body and she had to take a breath before she answered him. “Okay.�

 

He pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck making her giggle as they scurried to the first vehicle. Behind them, the grapevine gave each other sideways glances. Were they going to actually witness Justin and Kiki finally hook up tonight?

 

On the way to the club, Justin and Kiki rode in the back of the truck with Trace and Elisha sitting in the middle row. While the couple in front was talking to Lonnie and Eric, Justin took the opportunity to give Kiki the present he had for her.

 

“Hey I got you something for your birthday.�

 

“Justin.� She sighed with a smile. “You didn’t have to get me anything.�

 

“Yeah I did.� He pulled out a long jewelry case from his inside jacket pocket. “Happy Birthday Baby Doll.� His bright blue eyes stared into her deep brown ones, speaking volumes of the adoration between them that was only growing stronger.

 

She took her time opening the box and when she lifted the lid, she gasped. Inside was a black onyx and white gold diamond necklace.

 

“Oh my God, Justin it’s beautiful, but I can’t accept this. It’s too –“

 

He placed a finger on her lips to cut her off. “Just say thank you.�

 

“Thank you Justin.� She leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, but he turned his head and her lips hit the corner of his mouth. Instead of pulling away, she lingered there and the contact between their skin sent waves of heat through them both.  

 

Just a little to the right and their lips would finally touch; however, the moment was broken by laughter from the front of the truck and they reluctantly pulled away. Kiki cleared her throat before she spoke. “Can you put it on for me?� Lifting her hair, she turned her back to him. When the necklace was in place she looked down at it then back to him. “It's beautiful and it even matches my outfit.�

 

“Yeah it does.� He traced the necklace against her chest, but his eyes were glued to her face. “So beautiful.�

 

Kiki bit her bottom lip, feeling a little flustered by his intense stare, but she liked the attention he was giving her. “Thank you Justin, for the gift and for spending my birthday with me.� She said as she hugged him.

 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,� was whispered in her ear and he nuzzled the side of her face. Kiki tucked herself into his side and rested her head on his shoulders where she stayed for the rest of the trip.

 

 

 

Arriving at the club, Justin held her back claiming to have dropped his cell on the floor of the truck so their friends could get into the club ahead of them. He finally “found� the phone a few seconds after everyone was inside and escorted Kiki through the VIP entrance. The attendant kept up the rouse by customarily checked their names on the guest list and quickly stamped their hand before letting them pass through the curtain blocking the passage to the club floor.

 

“Everybody put your hands together for the Birthday Girl, Ms. Kiki Lewis!� The DJ yelled, and then the intro to In Da Club started when Kiki walked in with Justin right behind her. A crowd including all her friends and members of the crew were gathered in front of her clapping, whistling, and screaming “Happy Birthday� over the music.

 

Kiki’s mouth gapped and her eyes had widened in surprise. She could feel her face and neck began to flush and she bashfully turned around to hide against Justin’s shoulder. Being surprised was one of the few things that actually made her shy.

 

Justin was laughing at her reaction and wrapped his arms around her. She grinned up at him. “I hate you. You know that right?�

 

“Mmhmm and I love you too.� He bent down slightly to kissed her on the neck.

 

She returned his kiss with one on the cheek and said into his ear. “Thank you.�

 

With his arms still wrapped around her, he straightened up, in effect lifted her off the floor. “Time to party Birthday Girl.� He smiled and carried her off into the crowd where their friends were waiting to welcome her.

 

Walking through the crowd, she received hugs and birthday wishes from her fellow crew members that she passed. She found Tori, who had come to the club with her date, Sky and they shared a tight hug. With Justin leading the way, they eventually arrived at the reserved nook of sofas for the guest of honor. Now that Kiki was there the night kicked off and everyone dispersed to get the party started.

 

Two waitresses brought over bottles of Cristal and a “Queen� sized Appletini, Kiki’s favorite and the group of friends made a toasted to the birthday girl. A few more drinks to get a good buzz and everyone scatted to the dance floor, dance partners switching with each new track the DJ spun and Kiki got a birthday dance with everyone. She could easily say that this was turning out to be one of her best birthdays.

 

Though she spend an equal amount of time with each of her friends and mingled with her guests, Kiki always end up back with Justin. The two seemed to gravitate toward each other; dancing, talking and drinking together. During one of their moments apart, she went off to dance with Tori while Justin was greeting Pharrell who had just arrived. He was down in Miami producing an album for one of his label mates and Justin invited him to stop by.

 

When Kiki came back to the nook with Tori she saw that she needed a drink refill and was about to head over to the bar. Her plan was foiled when Justin suddenly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down into his lap.

 

She whined as she tried to get her footing right so she could get up, but he had a good grip and held her down.

 

“Why are you always tossing me around? I thought I was Baby Doll, not Rag Doll.� She pouted.

 

“Aww I’m sorry.� He planted a wet kiss on her cheek. “Baby Doll this is Pharrell. P this is Kiki.� He tightened his grip on her hips and shifted her so she was sitting more comfortably on his lap.

 

Huffing at being tossed around again and giving up her quest to be released, she turned her attention to the newcomer and smiled prettily. “Hi Pharrell, it’s nice to meet you.�

 

Pharrell had watched the squabbling between Justin and his new girl with a smirk. Justin had told him about Kiki, but said that they were just friends. That obviously had changed. There is no way these two ain't fuckin’ around.

 

“Yeah it’s nice to put a face with the name. And happy birthday.�

 

She thanked him for the birthday wish and leaned over to get the dirt. “So Justin talks to you about me? What does he say? I’ll tell you right now if he told you we’re sleeping together or had any variation of sex, he’s lying.�

 

“Nah. He didn’t say anything like that.� He chuckled at the somewhat murderous look she had.

 

Butting in, Justin hinted. “Not yet anyway.�

 

She turned slightly to glare at him out the corner of her eye. “Like you don’t get laid enough as is.�

 

“J’s a pimp like me though. He’s just doin’ what we’re supposed to do.� Justin reached over and he and Pharrell clutched hands, laughing.

 

“Well he won’t be pimpin’ me.� She smirked condescendingly and Pharrell let out a bark of laughter. It wasn’t that funny. Suddenly she could feel movement behind her and she quickly turned around to see Justin behind her pretending to smack her ass.

 

He could feel when he was caught. Mid swing he stopped and looked at her staring at him. He braced himself for one of her famous bitch outs.

 

But all she did was state with a flat tone, “in your dreams,� before she got out of his lap. “I need a new drink, do you want one Pharrell?�

 

He picked his Heineken up from the table, signaling he was all set so Kiki started toward the bar.

 

“Uh hello. You’re not gonna ask me if I want a drink?�

 

She scoffed at him. “Get you own drink,� and left him sitting there with Pharrell, and Marty and Trace who had just returned.

 

“Hey!� He bound out of his seat and followed her, jacking her up into a bear hug from the back when he caught her. He started gnawing at the nape of her neck making her squeal and squirm in his arms as they walked to the bar.

 

After a pit stop on the dance floor when one of her favorite songs came on, they came back to find most of their friends had returned and were drinking rounds of shots. Even with new drinks in their hands they still took part and two more shot glasses were added to the mix. A person only turns 22 once, right?

 

 

 

Kiki was sitting next to Pharrell as she talked across the table with Marissa and Trent when he asked. “So can I have a dance with the birthday girl?�

 

“Absolutely.� She took his offered hand with a smile. They scooted through the narrow path between the couch and center table and Kiki had to tap Justin to get him to move his lanky leg, so they wouldn't trip. “Justin move. Me and Pharrell gotta get through.�

 

At first he was too distracted to be sure what she said because he was still listening to the story Joey was telling him, but he did unconsciously move his legs when she tapped him. What she said did eventually register and he was not happy. He caught sight of her and Pharrell walking to the dance floor and he felt a mass of anger wash over him. He did not like the sight of Kiki going off with another guy, friend of his or not. It was just the fact that someone other than himself was getting close to her that bothered him. From his seat he could see them dancing and he wanted to stalk over there and cut it, but he didn’t want to start anything. Chances were he would get over there and do or say something stupid. He didn’t want to embarrass Kiki like that on her birthday and he didn’t want to start a fight with one of his friends over an issue he knew was ridiculous. Instead he sat back, sulking, and downed his drink, but he kept his eyes on Kiki the whole time.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

While dancing with Pharrell, Kiki got a phone call from Maya, so she excused herself and went to the bathroom where it was quieter to call her back. She ran into Alex, Marissa and Tami on her way and they came with her so they too could talk to Maya about the night’s festivities.

 

Alex was smoothing out his goatee and mustache in the mirror next to this random girl who was at the sink rinsing her mouth out with a small bottle of Listerine from her purse. She finished her task and flipping her hair over her shoulder, she announced with a snotty attitude. “You know you’re in the women’s bathroom right?�

 

“Honey, I’m gay so it really makes no difference.�

 

A drunk Marissa leaned over the sink in front of him to impart a piece of knowledge on the girl herself. “And while you’re gargling that Listerine you might want to get that white dribble on your dress.� She whispered loudly and pointed to the white spots on the front of the her dress.

 

She quickly gasped and covered the stain, glaring at them before she turned beet red and huffed out of the room.

 

Alex looked over at Marissa. “Nas-ty.� They said at the same time and busted out laughing.

 

“Hey be quiet you two. Maya you there?� Kiki and Tami had seated themselves at one of the tall tables that sat in the small parlor of the bathroom.

 

“Yeah I’m here. Happy Birthday hermanita!� She cheered over the cell’s speakerphone.

 

Kiki giggled at her excitedly. “Thank you Maya the Bee.�

 

“How’s your day been so far?�

 

Before she could answer Alex butted in. “I’d say pretty damn good considering Justin threw her a party and I’m pretty sure he's the purchaser of the diamond necklace she’s now wearing.� He tried to touch the piece of jewelry, but Kiki slapped his hand away.

 

Sarah was the first to spot the item that had appeared on her neck after the drive over and word quickly spread. It was apparent something very serious was going down between the budding couple for Justin to be buying her expensive jewelry.

 

“What?� Maya screeched over the line. “Wait a minute first they’re sleeping together, now he’s throwing parties for her and buying her jewelry? What the hell is going on?�

 

“Excuse you - we are not 'sleeping' together like that. okay? And how the hell do you know about that in the first place?� Kiki asked her sister and turned an accusatory eye on her guilty looking friends. “Have you all been talking about us behind our backs?�

 

“Hey don’t be so surprised you said we would before the tour even started.� Tami defended them.

 

“So who’s part of the grapevine?�

 

“Oh my God! Look at that thing!� Maya exclaimed once she received the picture of the necklace that Alex had sent her.

 

“It’s just us and the guys.� Tami answered Kiki.

 

“So my brother and parents don’t know?�

 

“Hell no! You’d only have to worry about getting lectured on how inappropriate it is to have relations with your boss from Mamí. But Daddy and Derek would get on the next flight to wherever you are so they could ‘talk’ to Justin. They know nothing.� Maya assured.

 

“Good.�

 

“So what is going on between you two?� Tami asked directly.

 

“I don’t know really, but I do know that me and Justin are flying right pass the friendship phase.� She nervously looked at her group of friends and revealed to them. “We almost kiss like 2 weeks ago and yesterday.�

 

All their eyes widened and big grins came over their faces before Marissa exclaimed what she'd been longing to say. “I knew it! I told you, you two would hook up.�

 

Kiki groaned and buried her face in her hands. This whole situation between her and Justin was so unexpected and ever escalating. She had no idea where it was headed. It scared her, but it also excited her.

 

“He definitely likes you.� Tami stated and they all looked at her wondering how she got that tidbit of information.

 

“How do you know that?� Kiki voiced the question.

 

“Joey and JC told me and Maya.�

 

“Justin told them?�

 

“No he’s staying quiet about it like you. They said they can just tell. Like we can tell you like him.�

 

“What are you going to do Kiki?� Maya asked. She could tell her sister was very conflicted right now.

 

“Nothing. I’m not going to do anything. If it happens, it happens.� She hopped off the stool. “Alright My. I think we’ve been in here long enough. I do have a party to be the birthday girl for.�

 

“Whatever happens good luck. Have a great night and we’ll celebrate when you get home.�

 

“Okay. Love you.�

 

“Love you too. Bye. Bye guys.� They all said farewell, Maya’s end disconnected, and Kiki snapped her phone shut.

 

She did a quick check of her appearance and then turned to her friends who were waiting for her. “You guys ready to go back and party?�

 

“Are you ready?� Alex stressed.

 

“Yes. If it happens, it happens.� She repeated.

 

“Let nature take its course.� Marissa offered.

 

“Exactly, now...� She slicked some lip gloss on and puckered up. “Let’s go.�

 

The group finally left the bathroom and on their way back to the party, they passed a table where a guy who had been checking Kiki out all night was seated.

 

“Excuse me Miss.� He lightly grabbed her arm and pulled her close. “I’ve seen you all night around the place and I was told you’re the birthday girl the party up in VIP is being thrown for. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday and see if I could get a dance.�

 

“What’s your name?� At first she was going to blow him off, but he was such a gentleman about his approach she couldn’t be rude. It had been a long time since a guy approached her with something other that a lame ass line like, “yo, baby you so fine.�

 

“Nick. Yours?�

 

“It’s Kiki and I would love to dance.� They turned to go out on the dance floor and Kiki motioned over her shoulder to her friends who had stopped to wait for her, to go on without her. She would catch up with them later.

 

“I think we should go find a good place to watch the fireworks.� Alex turned back from facing the bar wearing a grin.

 

“What are you talking about?� Tami leered up at him with a suspicious look.

 

“Well our friend Justin is right over there at the bar.� He pointed him out talking to the bartender. “All he has to do is turn around and he’ll have a bird’s eye view of Kiki freakin’ her new friend on the dance floor.� They all looked straight across from Justin to where Kiki and Nick were grinding each other. “Judging from his reaction when she went out on that date with Sean and while she was dancing with Pharrell tonight. I’d say he has a problem with her intimately interacting with any heterosexual male other than himself.�

 

They all look between Justin and Kiki and then themselves before they darted up the stairs to get a good view of the show they were about to witness.

 

Kiki’s body swayed to the slow beat with Nick’s, but her mind kept drifting to another that she danced with often. All that talk about him had Justin at the forefront of her mind. A smile spread on her face as she thought about how it felt dancing with him. They were so perfect together when they were on and off stage, they fit just right and it always felt good to be in his arms. Kiki knew it was time to snap out of it when she realized she was picturing herself in his arms right now, not Nick’s. Thank God he can’t see my face, she thought as her dreamy, far away look stayed hidden with her head rested on his shoulder. A new song came on and Kiki was just about to pull away to excuse herself when out of no where, a new set of hands tightly grabbed her waist and she was yanked into another hard chest.

 

“She’s with me.� The familiar voice growled.

 

Her head shot up to see Justin holding her against his body with a look to kill directed at Nick.

 

“Yeah well she was dancing with me, so just chill and wait you turn.� Nick stayed calm despite the fact that he was pissed that this dude just came out of no where and took Kiki away from him. He didn’t want to start something and make a bad impression. He thought it better to take the high road, being the mature one might up his chances with her.

 

“I don’t have to wait my turn, she’s with me.� He turned Kiki away from Nick’s seeking hands, seconds away from punching the guy. “So just get the fuck outta here.�

 

“Justin!� Kiki exclaimed while she trying to pry his hands off her. He was acting extremely possessive and on the edge of a violent outburst. She had never seen him like this or thought he could act this way. “I’m sorry Nick. I think you better just go. I had a great time though.� She managed to turn around still within Justin’s arms to face him and give him a pleading look to just walk away.

 

If Justin got into a fight, it would be all over the news by tomorrow and the guy might even sue. It was the last thing he needed right now. Because of this, regardless that Justin was the one out of line, Kiki was going to protect him first and foremost.

 

“For you I’ll go, but let me give you my number. You can call me and we can continue this or do anything else that you want.� He pulled a card out of his inside jacket pocket and when Kiki’s hand grasped it, he held on and brought it to his lips for a kiss. “Bye.�

 

“Bye and thank you for the company.� He smiled at her, but gave Justin a glare of distain before he disappeared into the crowd.

 

Not a moment later Justin ripped the card out of her hand and threw it on the ground. “Justin…� She was just about to turn around and find out what was up with him, but he beat her to it and crushed her body to his, cutting off her tirade.

 

His arms were wrapped around her tight and his face was buried into her neck. “You don’t need him. You got me.� He mumbled.

 

Sitting back and watching her with other men was bad before, but at this point in their relationship it was pure torture. He didn’t want her with any one other than him and wasn’t going to be silent about it anymore. Spotting them dancing too close from the bar, he immediately charged over to break her and that guy up, he couldn’t control himself. He was selfish like that and wanted her all to himself. He just hoped it hadn’t pissed her off.

 

Lucky for him, she wasn’t upset. It was obvious his outburst sprouted from jealousy and honestly, it thrilled her that he didn’t like when she received attention from other men. But she wished he had handled it better because that confrontation could have been a lot worse. 

 

When Justin felt her body relax into his, he loosened his grip on her, but didn’t move from his spot. They moved together getting caught up in the moment and the music.

 

“Justin.� Kiki whispered soothingly into his ear. “What was that all about?�

 

“It doesn’t matter just dance with me.�

 

And it didn’t matter to either of them anymore now that she was in his arms again.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Justin may have calmed down from his jealous outburst, but he kept Kiki right by his side for the rest of the night and she didn’t mind. Their physical contact throughout the night; soft touches, hugs, or kisses on the face and neck, only seemed to escalate after the confrontation on the dance floor. In fact things escalated for the whole group as their night of debauchery raged on. To the point where the girls started table dancing at their nook. It really couldn’t be avoided when Dirty, the stripper’s anthem of the year, two ex dolls and massive amounts of alcohol were put in the mix. The girls were having a great time dancing together and barely paid attention to the guys who were hooting and hollering around them.

 

Justin was sitting back with a big ass grin on his face watching Kiki. You would have thought it was his birthday. Catching him staring at her with navy blue lustful eyes, Kiki turned to face him and started dancing for him. She moved her hands across her body tempting him and gyrating to the beat.

 

He suddenly sat up and grabbed her legs, holding her still. She looked down at him, confused, until she saw the burn in his eyes had grown and she was taken back for a moment. Her surprise quickly turned to euphoria, flowing through her as his hands traveled up her legs until he reached her hips. Holding onto her waist, he stood up and lifted her off the table. They were so close she could feel every inch of his body slide against hers as he slowly lowered her. When her feet touch the ground, she moved her hands from his shoulders to the back of his neck pulling him closer. Their eyes were closed as their lips came closer and closer. The first touch sent fire through both of them and there was no hesitation before their hold on each other tightened and the intensity of the kiss spiked.

 

Their lips were crushed together and when Justin’s thumb pressed down on her chin, she willingly opened her mouth and let his tongue plunge inside. They both moaned on contact and their grip on each other became almost desperate as they tried to get closer. Suddenly Kiki felt her bare back hit the wall in the middle of the sofas. With the combination of the cool concrete on her skin and the heat from Justin’s deep sensual kiss, she felt dizzy. She wasn’t about to stop though, it felt too damn good and long, long over due. She just held on tight and let Justin pull her under.

 

All around them their friends were partying and totally unaware of the new development between them. Until Trace went to point something out to Justin and was met with the sight of them all over each other. A staggered look followed by a big grin of triumph spread on his face. “Yo! Marty, where you at dude?!�

 

Marty sat up from his reclined position interrupting his conversation with Tami and Pharrell to find out what he wanted. He gave him a “what� look and Trace jerked his head toward the couple making out. Marty’s eyes widened when he saw Kiki pressed against the wall, wrapped in Justin’s arms and lips. He looked back at Trace who was pointing at him and cracking up laughing. “You own me 100 dollars man I told you that shit was gonna happen tonight!�

 

“Oh my gawh.� Tami’s eyes bugged as she watched Justin devour her best friend. The sight alone was making her flush, they were that intense.

 

“Jesus, are they trying to swallow each other?� Joey bent his head to see the kiss from another angle.

 

Oblivious to their friends watching them, Justin and Kiki momentarily came up for air, but quickly went back to kissing. Before they could get deep into it, they were interrupted with catcalls and whistling.

 

Kiki’s face dropped and she buried it into Justin’s chest blushing furiously. “Oh God we had an audience.�

 

“Yeah but I think we gave them a pretty good show.� She started giggling and he joined in.

 

While they were laughing, Tami approached them. “Not to be a blocker or anything but uh…we need to talk chica.� She grinned at her best friend barely containing her excitement. Kiki looked over Justin's shoulder to see Marissa, Tori and Alex bouncing in their seats waiting for a briefing on the kiss.

 

She looked back at Justin who was barely containing his laughter and had to rein in her own before she started and couldn’t stop. This situation was so ironically funny in the way that they finally busted at the seams right in front of the people who had been on pins and needles wait for it to happen for awhile now.

 

“Um I’m gonna...� She pointed toward her friends. “For a minute.�

 

“Yeah they’re over there foaming at the mouth too.� He jerked his head towards his boys who were waiting for the same details.

 

Covering her mouth to stifle a nervous giggle, she felt how swollen her lips were from their kiss. “I probably should go check out the damage too.� She poked at her lips. “I bet I look like a blowfish.�

 

His hand cupped her jaw and he caressed her lips with his thumb. “It looks sexy.�

 

“Hmm, you don’t look too bad yourself.� Her fingers traced his puffy lips as their eyes remained connected. “Maybe we should do this more often. You know to keep up the look.�

 

They wrapped their arms around each other again and Justin leaned down to whisper against her mouth. “Definitely.�

 

“Mmm.� She stood up on her tippy toes and left a lingering kiss on his lips before slipping out of his arms.

 

“Come back soon ok?� He asked and didn’t let go of her arm until she agreed.

 

Kiki’s bunch quickly surrounded her and carried her off to a quieter area. Meanwhile Justin had rejoined the guys at the long couch with a cocky smile on his face.

 

“Smooth operator.� Pharrell said to Justin when he sat in the seat next to him and they clutched hands.

 

“How was it?� Joey asked.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Oh my God.� Kiki reached the end of the bar and her head dropped to the counter top as she pratically melted onto the stool.

 

Thinking she was in distressed, the bartender hurried over to assist. “Is she okay?�

 

“Yeah she’s just been kissed within an inch of her life and needs a little recovery time.� Tami quipped. “Actually if you could bring her a shot of tequila that’d be great.� He walked off to get her order and Kiki finally pulled herself off the bar.

 

“Oh my God.� She repeated. “That might have been the best kiss I have ever had.�

 

“You got the tingles?� Tami asked.

 

“Tingles? Try the shakes.� She lifted her hands to show them how she was in fact shaking.

 

“Aww.� The girls cooed and Alex gave her the shot that had just arrived.

 

“So what now?�

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Those lips man.... I have no clue what happens now, but I’m definitely not letting go of those lips.�

 

“She do got some…�

 

“Shh.� Justin hissed and closed his eyes at the memory. “And that tongue.� He knew now that she could roll it in more ways than one.

 

“Whipped off a fuckin’ kiss.� Trace clowned him, but Justin felt no shame and just shrugged.

 

“Glady, fuckin’ glady.� He got up and headed towards the DJ booth. “I gotta go take care of something.� It was time for him to get his birthday dance, the real deal this time.

 

Kiki was still at the bar when Justin slinked in the middle of their huddle.

 

“Excuse me, but I need the birthday girl right now.�

 

She was biting her still puffy lip and grinning from ear to ear. Justin took her hand and kissed it before he pulled her off the stool.

 

“Where are we going?� She stood in front of him and Justin’s eyebrows wiggled as the DJ answered that for him.

 

“Alright ya’ll this next song is a dedication from our host Mr. JT to the fine as hell Birthday Girl, Ms. Kiki. Do your thang girl!�

 

“What did you do?� She asked him and he just grinned at her mischievously before the intro to Señorita began to play. Kiki couldn’t stifle the giggle that came out of her mouth.

 

He pulled her close and whispered in her ear. “Come on mamí, dance with me.�

 

Finding a good spot in the middle of the dance floor, Justin wrapped the hand he was holding around his neck and the two started moving together. He began singing the song to her and she joined in on the chorus.

 

On that sunny day

Didn't know I'd meet

Such a beautiful girl

Walking down the street

Seen those bright brown eyes

With tears coming down

She deserves a crown

But where is it now

Mamma listen

 

Senorita, I feel for you

You deal with things, that you don't have to

He doesn't love ya, I can tell by his charm

But you could feel this real love

If you just lay in my...

 

Justin dipped Kiki and she giggled as his nose tickled her neck. Her laughter died down and he flipped her back upright.

 

“So is this not the best birthday you’ve ever had?�

 

She pretended to think about it. “Mmm. Nah.� She joked. He scoffed and clutched his wounded heart, making her giggle again. “Tonight has been great Justin. Thank you so much for doing all this for me.�

 

“You’re welcome.� He simply said, but then a devious look came over him and he leaned down so she could hear. “What’ll I get in return?� He gave her butt a quick squeeze and she jabbed him in the stomach.

 

“You are such a jerk.� She mumbled into his chest as he smothered her to stop her fighting.

 

“Yeah, but you still love me.�

 

“Hmmph.� She jokingly pouted and he wrapped her back up in his arms.

 

When I look into your eyes
I see something that money can't buy
And I know if you give us a try
I'll work hard for you girl
And no longer will you ever have to cry

 

Their friends and the crew had joined them on the floor and were surrounding them as they danced to the music. Tami scooted over to Kiki and the two bumped hips as they sang the song together.

 

Back in Justin’s arms, the chanting began and the whole club joined in.

 

Guys sing

It feels like something's heating up, can I leave with you?

And ladies

I don't know but I'm thinking bout, really leaving with you

Feels good don't it, come on

It feels like something's heating up, can I leave with you?

Yea, ladies

 

On the last chant, Kiki sang her version into Justin's ear.

 

I don't know what ya thinkin’ ‘bout, I ain’t leaving with you

 

He pulled away, chuckling at her. “Oh that’s cute.� She continued to giggle madly. “But now I gotta find a way to change your mind.�

 

She crossed her arms around his neck, “well you could start with this�, and lifted up on her toes to kiss him. They both moaned on contact, pushing each other into another dizzying kiss. 

 

 

 

After all their waiting for a simple kiss it ended up being well worth it. A perfect kiss to go along with a perfect birthday for Kiki.

 

Back on the road the day after the party, the tour buses stopped for lunch at a road side diner. Kiki tried to enjoy her food, but Justin kept whining about how lonely he was on his bus. Eventually she gave into his pleas to travel with him just to get him to shut up.

 

“Okay! I will ride with you, but only to the next stop because if I’m with you any longer I’ll probably end up strangling you.�

 

After lunch, while the buses were refueling, Kiki went back to her bus to get her carry on and got onboard Justin’s. She immediately regretted it.

 

“Do you ever pick up after yourself?� There were clothes, clean and dirty all over the place.

 

He snatched her by the wrist and pulled her down on the couch because she was blocking his view of the golfing match he was watching. “Sit down.�

 

She landed on a pile of clothes and when she went to pull them out from under her, she ended up with a pair of his dirty boxer briefs in her hand. “Eww Justin! This is gross. I am not staying in here.� She tried to get up and leave, but he stopped her.

 

“Too late, you’re staying.�

 

“Justin.� She whined while trying to get away from his restraining hands. “You got dirty draws all over the place and God know what else.�

 

“It’s not that bad and I’ll clean it up alright. Just shut up.�

 

He had some nerve after all his complaining she had put up with today. She pushed out of his grasp and jumped up in front of him. “Don’t tell me to shut up!� Her hands were on her hips and her face was clouded with anger. Justin just grinned at her. He loved getting her mad. She looked sexy as hell when she was all pissed off.

 

Suddenly the engine revived and the bus jerked into motion, causing Kiki to stumble and almost fall. Justin started laughing and she glared at him as she gripped the counter behind her to stay upright.

 

“Now sit down before you bust your ass.� He grabbed her hand and pulled her back down on the couch. He got up and proceeded to pick up all his clothes and clean up any other messes he had.

 

When he was done Kiki was smiling. “Thank you.� It was his bus and he could live in it anyway he wanted, but he was willing to clean it up to make her feel comfortable.

 

“Yeah yeah. Now be quiet so I can watch the game.� He propped his feet up on the ottoman in front of him and went back to watching.

 

“Eww golf.� She cringed. “It’s not even a real sport. Glorified walking.�

 

He shot her a death glare and she squirmed down into her seat to avoid it. Maybe it was best to just shut up on that subject; apparently nobody insulted his precious golf.

 

 

 

After the game, she took over the TV and made him watch some E! show on celebrity break ups with her and they mentioned him and Britney.

 

“You probably don’t want to talk about it, but humor me.� His past relationship wasn’t something he wanted to constantly discuss, but Justin was at peace about it now, so he decided to hear her out. “It’s nothing serious. I just want to know about that little dance off the two of you had. I heard it was just a rumor but I can see your drunken dumbass doing something like that, so…� He cut his eyes at her but she ignored it and continued. “What I wanna know is: did ya’ll think you were in one of the Breakin’ movies or something. Two rival posses duking it out through ass shaking?� Justin couldn't help but laugh; it was a completely whack time in his life. “How disappointing and corny. I mean with the drama that went down between you two, there was supposed to be some ass kicking somewhere in that little confrontation. But then again you were a serious cornball back then so…. You still are actually.�

 

Okay this time he wasn’t about to be ragged on by her on his own damn bus.

 

Kiki was caught off guard when Justin grabbed her by her wrists and yanked her into his lap, making her straddle him. She squealed in surprise and fought to get her arms loose, but he was stronger and pinned them behind her back.

 

“You think you’re so fuckin’ funny don’t you?� She wiggled and pulled at her wrists trying to get free, but his grip was solid. “Ah, ah. I got you now.� He taunted. She kept struggling in his lap, but it was pointless, he wasn’t letting her go anytime soon.

 

Suddenly their innocent bout of wrestling became anything but when their hips collided. They both froze. There was no hiding the fact that Justin was turned on, just like she was. Their faces were inches away from one another and their eyes were locked as that lust that normally simmered between them flared to life.

 

Feeling almost desperately to erase the inches between them and feel his lips brush against hers, Kiki kissed him and Justin instantly gave into her. He released her hands and she wrapped her arms around his neck keeping them both locked in the kiss. He pulled away from her lips to give them a quick lick before moving down to suck on her neck. He took gentle nips at her drumming pulse and then soothed them with soft kisses.

 

Justin quickly sat up and flipped her onto her back, settling himself in between her legs. He continued to alternate between teasing her neck and her mouth while he was grinding into her. Driven by an urge she couldn’t contain, Kiki rhythmically pushed her hips back into his and inhaled sharply from the arousing feeling that was building.

Justin groaned when she responded to him and felt himself grow even harder. Needing to feel more of her body, he moved his hands down to the hem of her t-shirt and pushed it up until her stomach was exposed and he caressed her soft, smooth skin. Sensing no hesitation from her, he decided to be bold and moved farther up to cup her breasts. She moaned into his mouth as his big warm hands massaging her lace covered breasts and as her spread legs tangled with his, she gripped his lower back tightly, keeping his grinding hips nestled between hers.

 

Their passionate embrace was interrupted when the bus went over a bump in the road, and it snapped Kiki out of her sexual haze.

 

“J….Justin, we have to stop.� She managed to moan out as his kisses moved to her neck and he continued to play with her body.

 

Worried that he did something to upset her, Justin immediately stopped what he was doing and moved from on top of her. “I’m sorry Baby Doll. I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t mean to upset you.�

 

“No, no. It’s ok.�  Kiki said as she sat up in front of him.

 

“No I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have taken it that far. I’m sorry. It’s just…� Frustrated and thinking he had screwed things up royally, Justin moved away from her so he could resist the temptation to kiss her again.

 

“No Justin.� She followed him into the corner of the couch and cupped his face so he would look at her. “It’s ok. Really, I’m here too, this isn't just you. I wanted it and I’m fine with us fooling around.�

 

He was relieved that he hadn’t messed up, but he needed to be sure that she was okay with how far things between them had gone, physically. “You don’t feel like I’m pressuring you or anything?�

 

“No,� was her assured whisper. All the while her face had been moving closer to his and he didn’t hesitate to pull her back into their kiss.

 

They were completely open to each other, lips parting and tongues sliding against one another. Kiki straddled his lap again and grabbed his face. She drew his upper lip in between hers to nibble on while Justin sucked on her bottom lip. He moved his kisses down to the curve of her throat where he nipped and suckled at her sensitive skin.

 

“Mm.� She moaned as his hand grabbed the nape of her hair and he extended her neck to give him better access. “Mmm, this is so bad, but it feels so damn good.�

 

“Why?� He mumbled against her neck and his hand slipped up the back of her shirt, sliding across her smooth skin. “Why bad?�

 

She hissed at his touch and bent her head down to kiss him again. When she pulled away to catch her breath, she answered his question. “Because this is forbidden.� She replied seductively and licked his lips.

 

He caught her tongue and sucked it back into his mouth. His wandering hands moved to the front of her body to cup her breasts and she moaned. “We have to stop J.�

 

Justin did the exact opposite though and zeroed in on her neck again, giving her a resounding “no.�

 

“Yes.� She giggled when his lips hit one of her ticklish spots and pushed him away, moving down the couch to put some space between them.

 

Though her laughter was reflexive and Justin knew she was serious, it did nothing to cool him off. Her little giggles were a complete turn on, as were her swollen lips and tasseled hair, so he tried to pull her back to him.

 

“No. No. No. No.� She tried to be serious and not laugh as she warded off his grabbing hands. “I’m serious Justin. We have to talk.�

 

He gave in, grumbling and pouting like a child. “What do we have to talk about?�

 

“This. Us.� She picked her hair tie up from where it fell on the floor and reset her hair into a sloppy bun. “I’m not reading into things, this isn’t just some fling for you, right? This is real?� She started off, needing to know where they stood before anything between them went any further.

 

“No, it’s not just some fling for me. I…I care about you Kiki. A lot.� He replied truthfully and she smiled in relief.

 

She wasn’t expecting some declaration of love. She was actually glad he didn’t say he loved her because it would be a lie. They hadn’t known each other long enough for either of them to be in love and with his track record with relationships she was sure it would be awhile before he let himself fall in love again. He did say he cared about her and she knew that was all he could give her right now, but she’d take it.

 

“I care about you too.�

 

Beaming, he reached over to grab her hand and laced their fingers together. “Does that mean we can stop talking now?� He tightened his grip and tried to pull her back to him with a lecherous grin on his face, but she held him off again.

 

“No. If anything that just extended this conversation.� He groaned and shift in his seat to sit back against the couch. “If we’re going to have this….relationship.� She dragged out cautiously, afraid the “r� word would have him running the other way. But she was pleasantly surprised when he said nothing and continued to look at her, waiting for her to go on. “Then we need to be careful about certain people knowing about us.�

 

He shrugged. “Like who?�

 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe your managers and the lawyers who sat in front of us crew members when we were signing those contracts that had a little clause in ‘em about not screwing the boss.� Sarcasm dripped from her words.

 

His eyebrows raised and a wicked grin appeared on his face. “You plan on sleeping with me?�

 

“Justin!� She smacked his arm. “I’m serious. We could get in trouble.�

 

“Like you said Baby Doll, I’m the boss and if I want to break the rules I can. They’re not going to do anything, you won’t be fired cause I won’t let them and they sure as hell won’t fire me.�

 

She rolled her eyes at his arrogance, but said nothing. “Still. I’d feel better if we keep it to ourselves especially when Anthony or Mr. Wright are around.�

 

“If that’s what you want.� Whatever she needed to feel comfortable about their relationship, he would give it to her. He leaned over and kissed her. “Anything else?� He asked with his lips still pressed against hers.

 

She moved back slightly and grabbed his jaw, holding his face in front of hers so that all his attention was on her when she said. “I don’t share.�

 

The corner of his lips curled into a grin. “I knew you were jealous.�

 

“I was not.� She denied, pushing his face away and turning from him.

 

“Yeah you were.� He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her over to sit across his lap. “I bet you wanted to beat that girl’s ass when you saw her that morning.�

 

She scoffed and showed no outward appearance that he was absolutely right. “You wish.�

 

“No, I know.� He moved the strap of her tank top over and kissed her bare shoulder. “If you hadn’t noticed there hasn’t been anyone else since then.� She turned her head towards him to see if he was telling the truth, and she saw no signs of a lie.

 

That night was the last time he went back to his hotel room with someone and that was over a month ago. The experience wasn’t at all fulfilling seeing as he had to pretend Kiki was beneath him the whole time just to get off. Not having the real thing made it a hollow release in the end. And thank God the girl was so lost in her orgasm or she would not have been happy when he called out Kiki’s name. There was no point in going home with anyone else after that; anonymous sex obviously didn’t do it for him anymore. Even if he could find satisfaction in another woman, he didn’t want anyone other than Kiki anymore and now he needed her to know that.

 

“There won’t be anyone else either.� He promised.

 

She smiled and kissed him softly. “Thank you.� She knew she was asking a lot of him to give up his normally active sex life for one of celibacy until she was ready. The respect he was showing her with this compromise only made her want him more.

 

Both their smiles slowly faded and that lustful glaze over their eyes came back.

 

Justin leaned into her and gripped her hips, pulling her closer. “Now are we done talking?�

 

“Yes, sir.� Kiki twisted her arms around his neck and pushed him onto his back with her body.

They laughed on impact, but quickly cut each other off with a kiss.

 

For the rest of the ride to the next pit stop they cuddled and talked on the couch, enjoying each other’s company.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

At the last stop before they reached the hotel, Kiki left Justin’s bus and went back to hers. It wouldn’t look good if the fans or media that were usually looming around saw her get off his bus when they arrived.

 

At the hotel, Justin spotted Kiki among the rest of the crew getting their stuff off the buses. He snuck up on her and pulled her onto the back service elevator with him.

 

“Come up to my room and hang with me for awhile.� He asked as they made their ascent.

 

“Didn’t I just spend 3 hours with you?�

 

“So. Come on I’m gonna be up there all alone, bored as shit.�

 

“Go to sleep. You have to get up early tomorrow anyway, right?�

 

“Again, so what?�

 

Kiki let out a groan of frustration. She was tired and all she wanted to do was stretch out on the nearest bed, not keep Mr. JT entertained. “How the hell do you two put up with him everyday, all day?� She asked Lonnie and Eric.

 

“Please Kiki.� He whined. It didn’t work to sway her decision so he tried blackmail. “If you don’t come to my room, I’ll just follow you to yours and bug the shit out of you and Tori for the rest of the night.�

 

“You wouldn’t.�

 

“Try me.�

 

“Fine! I’ll come up.� She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “You are so annoying.� She knew what a pain he could be when he couldn’t get his way and she was too tired to battle with him right now. “Just let me drop my stuff off in my room and I’ll be up when I’m done.�

 

They reached her floor and the elevator bell dinged before the doors opened. Kiki grabbed her rolling suitcase and began to walk off the elevator. Before she crossed the threshold, she stopped and turned around, pointing at Justin. “I’m tired, okay? All I want to do is relax. Not entertain you and if you invite anyone over to have a little get together, I’m gone.�

 

Justin held his hands up in compliance. “I promise it’ll just be you and me, and you can fall asleep for all I care.�

 

He just wanted to be with her and when Kiki realized that her irritation faded away. A small smile graced her face, "okay," she said before walking to her room.

 

The doors closed behind her and left in the ascending elevator with his bodyguards, Justin sighed. “Now that is how you handle a woman like Kiki fellas.�

 

“By whining like a bitch?� Eric asked blankly.

 

A deep chuckle emitted from Lonnie and he shook his head. “That girl has got you whipped dude.�

 

Justin looked back and forth between the laughing duo. “Fuck ya’ll,� but it only made them laugh more.

 

 

 

Kiki got to her room and dumped her suitcase and duffle. She decided to take a shower first to get rid of some of the traveling grim. When she came out Tori had arrived and she told her that she was going to hang with Justin in his room tonight.

 

“Again? Didn’t get enough of him on the bus, huh?� She teased.

 

“Shut up.� Kiki told her while she collected her purse and her key card. “I’ll see ya later….Oh he’s on the top floor suite #3, if you need me.�

 

“Ok. See you later babe.�

 

 

 

Kiki reached his floor and was greet by Lonnie.

 

“You’ve been waiting for me all this time?�

 

“Gotta make sure you get in that room without being seen.� He shrugged. “So get your ass moving.� He stepped aside and cleared the passage with the sweep of his arm.

 

They walked down the hallway side by side when Kiki stated. “I bet Justin’s given you enough practice over the years for you to be a freakin’ Jedi Master at sneaking girls in and out of his room.�

 

Lonnie let out a hearty chuckle. “Funny.�

 

“I know.� She quipped smartly.

 

At Justin’s door, he slid the key card through the lock and it beep as the door was unlocked. “Have fun.� He grinned at her, reciting his usual remake when he let a girl into Justin’s room.

 

She knew what he was insinuating and she glared at him. “Go to hell Lonnie.�

 

He just laughed even harder at the look she aimed at him before entering the room. “We’ll be across the hall so don’t worry about us hearing anything.� He called to the closed door.

 

Walking into the living room, Kiki found Justin clad in a pair of gray sweats and a white beater, sprawled out on the couch in front of the TV.

 

“I swear if you tell anyone I came up here tonight and slept with you, I’m beating your ass.� She could only imagine what Lonnie and Eric were thinking they were up to in this room.

 

He turned onto his stomach and looked at her over the arm of the couch. “You know most girls would kill to sleep with me.� He watched her as she kicked off her slippers and put her purse and key card on one of the side tables.

 

“Then most girls are stupid.� She teased and sat on the end of the couch where his feet were resting. Apparently it wasn’t where Justin wanted her because he sat up and pulled her to lay on top of him. Despite her earlier protests, Kiki liked being alone with him and she loved when they cuddled so she didn’t fight him.

 

Justin stared at her face for a moment as it hovered above his. He pushed her hair behind her ears and framed her face to drop kisses on her lips. He swiped his tongue across her bottom lip, asked for entry. He got what he wanted and thrust into her mouth. Kiki grabbed his wrists and moaned as they tongue twined together fervently. One of his hands moved up to grip a handful of her hair and he tilted her head to deepen the kiss.

 

He pulled her head back. “God I love your lips.� He alternated sucking on her top and bottom lip. “So luscious.�

 

Kiki wanted to get back to the kissing so she nodded absent mindedly and pulling him back up to her.

 

Bodies molded together, Kiki could feel Justin’s arousal pressing into hip and when the urge to grind into him began to take her over. She knew then they had to stop, things were getting too heated once again.

 

“Hmm.� She pulled away slightly and brought their kissing down to simmer. “So.� She pecked his lips once more. “What are we watching?�

 

“Uh.� He honest didn’t care what they watched. He didn’t want to watch TV. He wanted to go back to what they were doing, but he understood why she stopped. They need to slow down before they went too far. “I don’t know whatever you want.�

 

He grabbed the remote off of the floor and handed it to her. She flicked to the TV guide and watched the scroll for something good.

 

“Oh my gosh!� She exclaimed when she found Save the Last Dance playing and quickly turned to it. “This is one of my favorite movies.�

 

“Typical.�

 

“Shut up.�

 

He laughed at her pouted and kissed her up turned lip before pulling her down to settle on top of him. Their legs were tangled together, Kiki’s hands were tucked under her chin on his chest and one of his hands conveniently found a place to rest on her butt.

 

After such a long day on the road it wasn’t long before the TV ended up watching them as they slept.

A black Navigator pulled into the parking lot where the buses were loading and out popped Justin and Kiki. They both carried a Starbuck’s coffee cup in one hand, the other tangled together.

 

Kiki walked Justin to his bus and they stopped at the open door to share a very public goodbye kiss. Their lips separated and while Justin was whispering in her ear, Kiki’s head fell back from laughing so hard. His arms circled her body and they stood there in an embrace, Justin rocking them back and forth until Anthony yelled.

 

“Load ‘em up!�

 

They kissed one last time before letting go. Justin boarded his bus and Kiki was the last to climb on hers.

 

 

Getting comfortable on one of the couches, Kiki pulled her coffee cake and work binder out of her tote bag. The others were busy settling themselves in for the long run, something she had no need to do.

 

“Going off to Starbuck’s with your boyfriend and not bothering to bring anything back for the rest of us.� Alex mockingly accused with a shameful shake of his head.

 

Kiki flinched at the sound of his voice and turned her head to see him sitting in the breakfast nook. “What are you doing here? This isn’t your bus.�

 

“I’m a stowaway.� He lifted the top of his laptop and coming from the back of the bus, Gina slid in the booth next to him. They were researching the hotspots for the next city they were traveling to. “So where’s our food?�

 

Kiki shrugged. “You snooze you lose.�

 

“Perhaps….By the way, it's nice to see you’re not denying that Justin’s your boyfriend.� He quipped.

 

Kiki’s head dipped into the pages of the binder with some hopes that this subject would be dropped if she didn’t say anything. Was it really necessary for her or Justin to make some sort of an announcement about their relationship? As is, they weren’t being secretive at all about it among the crew.

 

“It’s not like she can deny it. At the first rest stop, she jumps off this bus onto Justin’s and even better, Tori’s practically rooming by herself now-a-days.� Sarah teased, plopping down on the couch across from her. Kiki casually covered her mouth to hide her guilty grin.

 

Yes, she and Justin were almost always together, even while sleeping. It had become so habitual for them to fall asleep together that they started to share his suite. Instead of going to her own room, each night Kiki went straight to Justin’s and he joined her soon after. They really weren’t acting any different than your average couple; they just had to be very discreet for the time being when it came to those outside of the tour. Sneaking around actually added some excitement to the relationship, the thrill of possibly getting caught.

 

“How long are you guys planning on hiding?� Gina asked.

 

“Until the tour is over.�

 

Justin’s first solo endeavor had to be the focus in his life right now, not his new girlfriend.

 

“Well you know we won’t say anything.� Alex assured. “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.� He grinned with a wink.

 

“Most of us anyway.� Tori’s eyes cut towards the back where Candice was talking on her phone.

 

The preverbal black sheep of the group, of her own making, and the only one to ever have a problem with Kiki and Justin being together. But she was of no concern to the couple.

 

“She’s not going to say anything.� Kiki stated with absolute certainty.

 

Candice wasn’t stupid enough to talk knowing she’d be the #1 suspect if anything was leaked. The rest of the crew had been and would continue to keep quiet about the couple, not only out of respect for Kiki and Justin, but because they had been rooting for them.

 

“Justin would can her ass if she did.� Alex’s comment made the other girls smile at the thought while Kiki smirked.

 

“Among other things.� She muttered to herself. There was also a lawsuit she would face since they all were contractually bound to keep quiet about Justin’s private life.

 

As long as they were in their little touring bubble, isolated from the rest of the world, they could keep their relationship to themselves. They were taking full advantage of the privacy they had now because once the word got out, they’d be under a microscope constant. There was nothing wrong with holding that off as long as possible.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Yeah.� Justin answered his phone while he was in the back of his bus, sorted through his clothes that had been laundered by the hotel.

 

“Justin, its Anthony. We need to talk.�

 

“About what?�

 

“You and Kiki.�

 

Immediately, he stopped packing his clothes into his duffle. He really wanted to hear this. Didn’t Johnny warn him that he was less than pleased when management meddled in his private life? “What about us?�

 

“She’s your employee Justin. You know nothing can happen between the two of you.� After seeing the kiss they shared in the parking lot his suspicions about the couple were answered. Meaning he had a problem on his hands.

 

“My relationship with Kiki concerns my private life and that means its no one’s business.� For a moment his pointed statement was met with silence.

 

Then Anthony answered. “Your private life affects your career which is my business. Johnny would tell you the same thing.�

 

Justin chuckled at his not so subtly warning. Was he supposed to be sacred he'd run and tattle on him? “As long as this tour is on and my career is active, Kiki and I plan on keeping our relationship under wraps. No one outside the crew is going to find out about us until it’s over, including Johnny. Right?� The last part came out as a warning. He was throwing them so Justin was going to throw one right back.

 

He knew Anthony was a little intimidated by him, so he would use that to make sure he kept his mouth shut and not run back to management with this information. The nagging he would have to endure from them was not something he wanted to deal with and he especially didn’t want Kiki to have to deal with it. It could potentially scare her off and he wasn’t about to lose her over that.

 

Anthony sighed deeply. “I won’t say anything, but are you prepared for what’ll happen if this gets out?�

 

“Do you think I’m going to believe that my relationship with Kiki could ruin my career and run scared?� He asked incredulously. “Not gonna happen on both accounts. I’ve dated an employee before and sure it got some headlines instead of my work getting the publicity, but it was no big deal. It bowled over eventually, as will this if it gets out. So relax.�

 

“Alright J, alright. Just be careful.�

 

"Don’t worry everything will be fine.�

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

“Here’s your car Mr. Timberlake.�

 

“Thank you.� He took the keys to the black Mercedes he had rented for the night from the valet and escorted Kiki to the passenger side to let her in. Passing the valet as he was approaching the driver’s side, he tipped the guy. “Goodnight.�

 

“Goodnight. And thank you Mr. Timberlake.�

 

Justin slid into the car, closing the door behind him. He checked to see that Kiki had her seat belt on and after clicking his in place, he pulled out of the hotel’s private parking lot into the streets of New Orleans.

 

He could feel her eyes on him and see her smiling out the corner of his eye. When they stopped at a red light, he turned to her. “What?�

 

“You sure about this?� She grinned skeptically. “You’re personally driving me to a restaurant that is outside of the hotel. Isn’t this a little risqué?�

 

“Not that I’m actually worried, but the place I’m taking you to is a nice quiet little spot where no one will bother us.� He looked back to the street to see that the light hadn’t changed yet. “I want to do this. Take you on a real date, instead of just down to the hotel bar. Like you’re my dirty mistress or something.�

 

“Ooh dirty mistress, sounds….dirrty.� She teased and he chuckled. “Thank you though. It makes a girl feel special to know her guy would take a chance like this for her.� It told how valued she was to him and it made her adore him even more.

 

The light turned green, but no one was behind them so Justin put the car in park. He turned towards her and grabbed her hand from her lap. His eyes stayed on hers as he lay a gently kiss on her knuckles. “You are special, very special to me.�

 

Kiki could feel tears building in her eyes, but she blinked them away not wanting to get all mushy. Instead she sighed happily and softly touched the side of his face. Neither were aware of how much time went by as they got lost in each other.  Slowly they both started leaning in towards one another over the console until their lips met. 

 

They were interrupted by honking horn from behind, startled them. Justin turned just as the car was maneuvering around them. The irate driver yelled “green means go asshole!� out the passenger window and zoomed off down the street.

 

Kiki covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. Justin looked over at her, “well that was rude,� he said and they both broke out in laughter.

 

It tapered off to snickering and Kiki pointed out. “She was right though. Green does mean go. That's one you should have learned back in kindergarten.� His glare turned to a sneer when she started humming the tune from Deliverance.

 

The light had changed to green once again and Justin put the car back into drive. “Keep talkin’ and you’ll be walking back to the hotel. Give me your hand.� He blindly reached for her and grabbed her wrist as he stepped on the gas. Bringing her hand to his mouth, he gently bit her below her thumb.

 

“Ow.� She feigned injured and pouted.

 

“Be quiet and enjoy the scenery.� He kissed her palm and laced their fingers together.

 

For the rest of the ride, they sat in comfortable silence, holding each other’s hand over the gear shift.

 

 

 

Driving out of the city, they arrived at a small restaurant near the marina and were seated at a table that overlooked the lake.

 

“Hmm.� Kiki mumbled as she perused the menu, seeing more than a few tasty options.

 

Justin chuckled as he watched her from across the candlelit table. “Remember your eyes are usually bigger than your stomach.�

 

“What are you worried I’ll break your bank?�

 

“The way you eat? Yeah.� He joked.

 

“Whatever. You love my healthy appetite.�

 

“True, especially when it turns out such a healthy body.� He wriggled his eyebrows at her and she rolled her eyes at his lame come on.

 

The waiter showed up to take their order and it wasn’t long before the first course was served. Throughout the meal they chatted about any and everything, including their up and coming future.

 

“So in two months we’ll be in Europe.� Justin mentioned as dinner was winding down with coffee and dessert.

 

“I know I can’t wait.� She scooped up a spoonful of Crème Brûlée and crooked her finger at him.

 

He smiled and moved his chair to her side, slipping an arm around her. “Have you ever been to Europe?� She brought the dessert to his lips and he accepted the offering. She had a bit for herself before she answered.

 

“Mmhmm.� She nodded and rested her chin in her palm. “I’ve been to Madrid - where my great grandparents were from. London – for a family vacation and a couple of years ago I went to Italy to visit my sister when she was studying abroad.�

 

“You know that’s something I’d like to do one day – have my own fashion line. Me and Trace have talked about going in on one together some day.�

 

“I can definitely see you as a fashion mogul. You happen to be a pretty snazzy dresser.� She tugged on the lapel of his blazer.

 

“Why thank you.� He reached over and ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer. As he nuzzled the side of her face, he whispered. “You didn’t mention Paris.�

 

She leaned into his touch and almost purred from the feel of his smooth lips brushed across her cheek and his fingers massaged her scalp. “I’ve never been.�

 

Shifting back, he pulled his hand out of her hair to rest it under her chin and reverently traced the outline of her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “That’s a shame. You know our last show is in Paris, the tour will be officially over. Someone should definitely show you around the city then.�

 

Kiki’s smile beamed at what she knew was his cryptic way of hinting at romantic plans he apparently had for them overseas. “I would love that.�

 

“Good, very good.� He smiled triumphantly and they kissed. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she snuggled into his body, feeding him and herself the rest of their dessert.

 

Once the treat was finished, Justin called for the check. He whisked Kiki out of the restaurant and took her for a short drive around the city before they went back to the hotel.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Back in the suite, Kiki excused herself to hop into the shower before bed. Finished washing her hair, she moved to scrub her body and was so immersed in the job, she didn’t notice Justin come into the bathroom let alone the shower. That was until a chill went through her whole body as his hand ran down her spine. Her sudsy loafe dropped to the shower floor as she jumped and spun around to see him standing there with nothing but a smile on.

 

“Hi.�

 

Brushing the rivets of water from her face, she gawked at his presence before her eyes, on their own accord, dropped to look over his entire body. Her view went as far as his groin before a look of intrigue came over her face and she softy murmured. “Oh.� Well it's nice to know what's been grinding into me was definitely not wishful thinking. A small lustful look flashed on her face before she realized she was staring and quickly turned back towards the showerhead, her cheeks now colored pink.

 

Justin had been starring at her as well, licking his lips that the sight of the luscious body he’d run his hands across countless times, on and off stage, now completely bare and wet. He hadn't missed her reaction to him either and with a cocky grin, he chuckled at her fascination, turned embarrassment. “Thanks.� He replied. “I like what I’m looking at too.�

 

Now that she wasn’t facing him, her embarrassment waned and Kiki huffed at his arrogance. A nervous giggle soon followed. Her emotions were all over the place, she had no idea how to react. “I can’t believe you’re in here.�

 

He shrugged looking down at her with a steamy glint in his eyes. “I may not have seen all of you before, but I've touched all of you.� He said as he hooked an arm around her, running his hand down her torso until it rested on her lower belly, rubbing gently circles on her skin. Their bodies were close now, but Justin purposely kept just enough space between them to tease Kiki with his nearness. “Do you want me to leave?� He breathed in her ear.

 

Slowly Kiki turned to face him and placed her hand on his chest, grazing her palm against his skin. “No. Stay.� He could read the certainty in her face and he captured her hips in his hands bring their bodies flushed together.

 

Their first full bodied touch, no barriers between them, made Kiki shiver and Justin groaned when he felt her breasts press against his chest.

 

Kiki couldn’t believe she was doing this even though this wasn’t their first time being this physically intimate. Their heavy petting had been steady escalating, from over to under their clothing and like Justin said, he had already touch her body in someway from head to toe. Still this was taking it to another level, one that a new trust, vulnerabilit between them, but it felt so good to hold each other like this, so close physically and emotionally.

Kiki's slight nervousness didn’t stop her exploration of his body or his of hers. He was warm and solid, while she was soft and silky, they molded together perfectly. She trailed her hands up his arms, feeling his muscles flex as he caressed her back, and down his chest. Justin dipped his head down and his lips crashed into her as one arm wrapped around her neck and the other around her body, pulling her closer. Kiki’s fingers dug into his sides and she stood on her tip toes, sinking into the heat of his mouth.

 

His tongue caressed hers and she sucked at his bottom lip, dragging a low groan from his throat and his hands moved up between their bodies until she could feel the heat from them hovering over her chest. She arched into his hand and he cupped her full breasts, his slightly roughened thumbs repeatedly brushed over her aroused nipples causing her to let out a small gasp. The contact sent chills through both of them and as his hands gently squeezed her breasts, he slanted his mouth over hers, deepening their kiss.

Even with the warm water still pouring on their bodies, they were generating plenty of steam in the room themselves. Craving more of Kiki, Justin slipped both arms around her waist and he lifted her off the ground. It brought her breasts closer to his face and he bent his head to replace his hands with his mouth. The second his lips close around her nipple, she cried out and buried her fingers into his hair, holding him close. Being off the ground also brought her mound in contact with his hard erection, Kiki couldn’t resist wrapping her legs around his and Justin responded by grinding into her as he feasted on her. Just the slightest tilt of her hips and he could slip right inside of her – how tempted Kiki was to just let him have her, but she still had enough facilities to know she was not ready for that.

 

Her arms were wrapped around his head and her face was buried into his wet hair as he suckled her. She was moaning and gasping in his arms, her arousal continuing to spike as she instinctively rocked against him.

Justin was so overwhelmed with his own pleasure, but there was this burning need to give her even more satisfaction. He wanted her moans, scream, writhing for him, because of him. He quickly put her down and he pushed her back into the cool tile of the shower wall.

 

“Let me make you feel good.�

 

He lowered his self to his knees all the while keeping his eyes connected with hers. He held on to her hips and pulled her towards his waiting mouth to kiss her taut stomach. He moved his mouth down a bit farther and gently sucked on the patch of skin right below her belly button. She shuttered and he felt her grip his shoulders to keep herself upright. He peered up at her again and moved his head lower to press his face into her thatch of curls. Kiki knew what Justin had in store for her and she held her breath, waiting for him to make his move. He kept her on the precipitate for awhile before his tongue swiped down her lips. She moaned loudly and her body sagged against the wall, so Justin lifted her leg and draped it over his shoulder to help support her. Dark blue eyes watched her as he nibbled behind her knee and licked up her inner thigh. Then two fingers slipped through her slick folds and inside her heated core.

“Oh!� she cried, writhing against his touch. Her head was thrown back and she panted as he worked his fingers in and out of her.

She looked down at him and the look on his face was so erotic that her breath caught in her throat, but not for long. He kept his eyes locked on hers as he drew his tongue between her folds and up to flick her stiff clit. Her hips arch forward and she let out a keening wail as waves of heat surged through her. He sucked and nibbled at her, grunting hungrily as he indulged in her taste.

 

“Kiki.� He groaned in pleasure. His apparent enjoyment from going down on her only turned her on even more. Her fingers dug into his upper back and her leg curled around his back, holding on as she felt herself teetering on the edge.

 

Justin grabbed her ass and pulled her roughly to his mouth devouring her even more, his own lust for her growing stronger. One of his hands let go of her and dropped down to jerk his hard dick, getting his self off as well.

 

“Come for me Baby Doll. Let it all go and scream for me.� He demanded before his tongue dug deep inside of her core driving her over the edge.

 

She cried out and her nails dug into his skin, leaving impressions in his shoulders. “Oh Justin!� Her whole body trembled uncontrollably as her orgasm surged through her.

 

Her reaction to him was so hot and passionate, it only took Justin a few jerks of his hand before he came himself.

 

When her hips stopped jerking and her staccato breathing leveled off, he lay kisses on her thigh and gently moved her leg from his shoulder, holding her hips to keep her upright as he stood. The water pelting his back was now cold, and he reached back to turn it off.

 

Standing in front of her with one arm wrapped around her waist, he slicked her wet, messy hair back and planted kisses on her forehead and cheeks. Her eyes were still closed and she breathed slowly, trying to get her racing heart back under control. When her eyes opened and he saw those deep brown pools swirling with satiation, he smiled and covered her lips with his. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they kissed ravenously.

 

Slowing down to soft pecks, Justin pulled away and took her hand into his. “Come on let's get you dried off.�

 

“Wait. What about you?�

 

He smiled at her, sliding the back of his hand down her cheek. “That was just for you baby.� He kissed her hand and turned to open the shower door. Stepping out first, he grabbed a towel from the rack and held it open to her once she was out of the stall. He got one for himself and wrapped it around his waist. Kiki had grabbed a second towel to wrap her hair in a turban and was tucking in the edge of the towel around her body when Justin grabbed her.

 

“Best shower I ever had.� She giggled and wrapped both arms around his neck. He lifted her up and carried her out of the bathroom.

 

Once they were dressed, they climbed into bed and held each other close as they drifted off.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Trace walked into Justin’s dressing room to find him watching TV while Kiki was working on her laptop. He started chuckled and Justin turned his attention to his best friend.

 

“You two are in so much trouble.�

 

“What?� Justin questioned and he dropped an open magazine on the coffee table in front of them.

 

Kiki’s eyes moved from the computer screen to the article and her eyes widened as she read the headline.

 

Who’s Justin’s Mystery Girl? was printed in big colorful letters under a photo of her and Justin kissing across the dinner table at the marina restaurant a week ago.

 

“Oh God� and “shit� were said respectively by she and Justin in unison.

 

Trace was all out laughing now and made his self comfortable in the overstuffed chair to watch the show.

 

“Shut up Tracey.� Kiki growled at him.

 

“You really need to stop calling me that or I’m gonna…�

 

“Do nothing.� She rolled her neck at him with a daring look on her face and he sneered at her. She was nervous and worried right now, in no mood for joking around.

 

“Both of you shut up.� Justin put an end to their bickering as he read the article.

 

“Is it bad?� Kiki asked cautiously as she scooted closer to his side.

 

He chuckled and handed her the magazine. “They don’t even know who the girl is. You can’t even see your face.�

 

“Really?� She anxiously scanned the article and picture, relieved to see no mention of her name nor was she able to identify herself.

 

At the distance and angle the picture was taken only the side of her face was visible and it apparently was the only picture the obviously amateur photographer was able to take and leak to the press.

 

“You’re still going to get bombarded with questions.� Trace just had to put a damper on their lucky break.

 

Justin blew it off though. “They can ask all they want. I’m not going to answer. It’s no one’s business.�

 

“Not even Johnny?�

 

What the fuck do people think he’s my fuckin’ warden or something? “No one’s.�

 

Just then his cell started ringing and the ringtone was recognizably Johnny Wright’s.

 

“Let’s see about that.� Trace taunted and Justin simply glared at him as he picked up the line.

 

Slightly nervous again, Kiki crawled behind Justin on the couch, her legs hugging his hips and listened attentively to his side of the conversation.

 

“Hello.�

 

“I hope I don’t have to tell you why I’m calling.�

 

“You don’t.� Justin answered curtly, on the defense already. He had to stand his ground on this, not only for his right to a personal life, private or not, but for Kiki. He knew this was one of her major concerns with their relationship and right now he could tell she was nervous. He reached behind his back to grab one of her hands and brought it around his body, kissing her palm soothingly.

 

“Who is she Justin?�

 

“My girlfriend. Is that a problem?� Kiki had wrapped her free arm around him and he held both of her hands to his chest.

 

“You tell me if it’s a problem. I mean I have no idea who this girlfriend of yours is.�

 

“You don’t need to know right now, no one does. For now we want to keep us as quiet as possible.� Their boss/employee relationship was the main reason for their secrecy, but the media scrutiny they would eventually have to go through was part of it also. Right now their relationship was too fresh to be thrown to the wolves. It needed time to grow and grow strong before adding that maelstrom of drama. “You can’t see her in the picture and no one knows who she is so it’s no big deal.�

 

Johnny grunted. “Yeah. Well make sure it stays that way until the tour is over.�

 

“I know. I have this under control.�

 

“If you say so. I’m going to trust you.�

 

 “Thank you.�

 

He paused for a moment. “When do I get to meet her?� Johnny knew if she was important to him Justin would still want him to meet her.

 

Justin snorted. “Not anytime soon. I don’t want you scaring her off with incessant questioning about how prepared she is to be Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend.� Of course that would come after your empty threats to fire her.

 

A deep chuckle came over the line. “Touché. Tell me this much: is she cute?�

 

“Hot.� Justin corrected.

 

Kiki grinned when she heard the statement obviously aimed at her and gently nipped Justin’s neck. He grabbed one of her hands and brought it to his mouth, nibbling on her fingers. She giggled behind him and he scooted to the edge of the couch so he could lie back against her chest.

 

“Do you want to release a statement about this?�

 

Justin popped her fingers out of his mouth and said. “No. That’ll be a waste of time. I have nothing to say, its private.� Letting go of her hands, he relaxed into her and she started massaging his shoulders as he listened to Johnny go over some other menial business.

 

Trace rolled his eyes, pissed that he wasn’t going to get to see any action since Justin and Johnny’s conversation had turned to album and ticket sales. Now he had to sit there and watch Justin and Kiki be all lovey dovey. He pushed himself out of his seat and left the room, searching for Marty to see if he was up to something better.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The phone calls started pouring in soon after. Justin was dodging calls from all walks of the media, every one of them trying to get the scoop on his new girl. If he did bother to answer any of the calls, the only thing he would talk about was the tour. It really wasn’t difficult to avoid all of the attention, but there was one call that he wouldn’t dare turn away.

 

“Ma.� Justin tried to calm his mother down as she ranted on the opposite end of the line.

 

“That girl better be Kiki or you have some explaining to do.�

 

Surprised since he hadn’t told her about their relationship, he asked. “How do you know about us?�

 

“I have my sources.� She replied vaguely and his eyes darted directly towards Trace who was playing the PSII.

 

Silently he picked up a throw pillow, “yeah I bet,� and smacked him in the back of the head.

 

Trace jerked around, “what the fuck man,� he growled and Justin scowled at him.

 

“It is Kiki Ma, don’t worry. I wouldn’t do that to her.�

 

“Good. It was so nice to find out you two were finally together. How’s she doing?�

 

“She’s fine.�

 

“Take care of her Justin. This is new for her.�

 

“I know that’s why we’ve been keeping us a secret, give her time before she’s thrown in the pit.� He joked. “Once the tour is over, we’ll be ready for everyone to know.�

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Down in her hotel room, Kiki wasn’t the only one being interrogated. Luckily Maya had been elected as the spokesperson of the LA branch of the grapevine so she only had to deal with a single phone call.

 

“You’re the girl aren’t you?� Tami had seen the article first while at work and called an emergency lunch meeting. She, Marissa and Maya sat at a table in Chili’s analyzing the article from top to bottom looking for clues to identify Kiki.

 

“Yes I am.� She formally stated the obvious.

 

“I am so keeping this issue as a souvenir. My baby sister’s gossip rag debut.�  Kiki let out a snort of laughter. “I’m guessing as long as you stay in the ‘mystery girl’ status all is well.�

 

“Exactly.�

 

“Is he good to you?�

 

“Very good.�

 

“Then I don’t have to hurt him.�

 

Kiki laughed at her sister and their conversation carried on with updates from home.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Hi babe.� Kiki answered her phone knowing it was Justin.

 

“Baby I miss you.� He whined. “My bed was empty and cold last night and now I’m sitting here on this bus all by myself.�

 

“I’m sorry I wish I could make it better.� She cooed sympathetically. “But you know we have to lay low especially after we almost got caught.�

 

*********************************************

 

“Fuck.� Justin moaned and tangled his fingers in Kiki’s hair as her mouth bobbed up and down on his dick. “Baby….Feels so good.�

 

The show started in a couple of hours and they both needed a little release. She had gotten hers now he was getting his.

 

Kiki’s tongue swirled around his shaft as she sucked him in and out of her warm and wet mouth. He twitched against her tongue and she moaned, sending vibrations up his dick, making his orgasm rise even higher to the surface. She pulled her lips up to the tip of his shaft and sucked on his head, flicked at the slit with the tip of her tongue. Justin growled and tightened his hold on her hair, his head falling to the back of the couch. As she sucked his dick back into her mouth, his hips arched off the cushion and he started thrusting into his mouth. Kiki wasn’t fighting it, but moaning in pleasure around his flesh as his head reached towards the back of her throat. Her hands rubbed up and down his bare chest and abs, teasing his nipples, enjoying the pleasure she was giving him.

 

Justin was just about to come when his phone started ringing. Neither paid it any mind let alone stopped what they were doing. It eventually stopped, but not a minute later Kiki’s phone rang. That went unanswered as well, but then his phone rang once again. Kiki’s attention waned a little from Justin and when hers rang once more she knew something was going on.

 

She pulled her mouth off of him and turned to get her phone. “Whoever it is, is not going to stop calling.�

 

“What?!� His eyes sprung open and he sat up instantly, staring at her in disbelief. “Fuck that. No! Do not answer that.� He grabbed at her, but she waved him off.

 

“Both of our phones have rung twice. Something is up, I gotta answer. Hello.�

 

“Kiki it’s Gina. Listen if you’re with Justin right now you gotta get out of there. Mr. Wright just walked into the arena.� She and Ralphie were having a smoke out near one of the back entrances when a black limo pulled up and Johnny got out. Both she and Ralphie gawked at the form steady moving down the hall and then each other before they whipped out their cells and started dialing.

 

“What?!� Kiki screeched.

 

“Yes. Johnny Wright, boy band manager extraordinaire, is in the building.�

 

“Oh shit.� She stood up and frantically started searching for her clothes scattered on the floor. “Ok. Um…Thanks babe. I’ll talk to you later.� She ended the call, “shit!� and gathered her clothes.

 

“What? Baby what’s wrong?� He had watched her panicking on the phone, wondering what had happened.

 

“Johnny is here and he’s probably headed straight here.�

 

“Fuck.�

 

Kiki quickly jumped into her jeans and whipped on her shirt. She hadn’t even bothered to put her underwear back in, instead she stuffed her bra and panties in her pants pocket. Justin was busy straighten up after he finished pulling on his shorts and putting his shirt back on. Kiki scurried over to him and pulled him down into a quick kiss. She only meant for it to be a small goodbye kiss, but Justin wrapped his arms around her and kept her lips tangled with his.

 

“Mmm.� He moaned in protest when she managed to push him away.

 

She giggled at the mix of lust and irritation on his face. “I’m sorry baby, but I gotta go.� She backed away and blew him a quick kiss before opening the door. Peeking out, she saw the coast was clear and hurried out, closing the door behind her.

 

She was just about to turn the corner leading to the ladies’ dressing room when she bumped into Johnny himself.

 

“Oh sorry Mr. Wright.�

 

“It’s ok. Kiki right? How are you?�

 

“Good and you?�

 

“Looking for my hard-headed client. You seen him?�

 

Until you showed up I was seeing quite a bit of your client, sshe said to herself. “Nope. He’s probably in his dressing room though.�

 

“I was just headed that way.� He nodded down the adjacent hall where the room in question was located. “I’ll catch you later.�

 

“Sure. Bye Mr. Wright.� He disappeared around the corner and Kiki sagged against the wall, giggling. That was fun, but it was also close. Maybe too close.

 

**********************************************

 

“He totally missed us though baby.�

 

“Only just and what about the next time? You know he came there without notice on purpose, hoping to catch you and your ‘mystery girl’. We have to cool it for awhile.�

 

“Baby Doll.� He whined.

 

Kiki huffed and muttered. “Oh mi Dios, eres un bebé tan grande del burro a veces.�

 

“Hmm baby, you know how I love it when you talk to me like that.� His husky voice growled through the phone. “Makes me so fuckin’ hard thinking about how that tongue of your can move.�

 

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You don’t even know what I said.� He was trying to seduce her but she was not biting at all. “And if you think this is some prelude to phone sex – it’s not happening.�

 

“Oh come on!�

 

“No. I am lying in this cramped ass bunk, listening to Sarah snore above me. This is not a sexy situation.�

 

“Well if you’d get on the bus with me, you wouldn’t have to deal with all that.�

 

“Instead I’d have to deal with you molesting me.�

 

He hummed enticingly. “Yeah.�

 

“I’m hanging up now. You’re all horned up so whatever I say will lead to you thinking about sex.�

 

“Hey wait! Don’t you miss me just a little bit?� He asked indignantly.

 

“Of course I do babe. I just have more self control than you.� She deadpanned. “How about you use this time to practice some restraint?�

 

Justin huffed harshly. “Fuck restraint. I’m going to bed if you’re not going to cooperate.�

 

“Sleep tight then.� He smacked his teeth realizing she wasn’t giving in before he hung up. “He’s so cute when he’s frustrated.� She giggled as she tucked her cell under her pillow and wrapped herself in her blanket once again.

 

 

Justin sat on the back of the couch anxiously waiting for the bedroom door to open. He looked at the clock and growled when he saw that another five minutes had passed.

 

“Kiki Giselle Lewis, if you don’t get your cute little ass out here now, I’m leaving you.�

 

“I’m coming!� She yelled through the door. “Don’t rush me Justin Randall!�

 

He was chuckling at the indignation in her voice when the door finally opened and she appeared in the doorway.

 

“Ta Da!� She strutted out in her new bikini.

 

He clapped his hands and catcalled. “Whoo hoo. Look at you!�

 

She twirled around and struck a pose in front of him with her hands on her hips. “How do I look?�

 

“Bad girl.� He read the print decorating the fabric. “My bad girl.� He leered and pulled her close.

 

“Mmhmm.� She bit her bottom lip teasingly and he leaned in for a kiss. “Do you like it?�

 

“Oh yeah. You, and pink and black.� He shook his head. With all the clothes and accessories she had in a favorite color scheme, he didn’t have to think twice when he got her those pink and black roses not to long ago. She squealed and jumped into his arms when she read his name at the end of the note that came with the box of flowers delivered to the arena.

 

“I know. It’s so cute though. I had to get it.� She looked down at herself, adjusting the string ties. “I can’t wait to show it off.� They were going to the hotel’s outdoor pool that he had reserved for an evening party for the crew.

 

Justin watched the sway of her hips as she walked over to the foyer table to where her bag and skirt were waiting. He slinked up to her, his eyes glued to her hips and ass as she wiggled onto the piece of denim.

 

“Ey.� He smacked her on her butt making her bounce and let out a small yelp. “Don’t get too cute down there while you’re showin’ off.� He wrapped himself around her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder.

 

“Possessive much.� She giggled when she saw him nodding through the mirror in front of them. “Don’t be because you’re the only one who gets to touch.�

 

“Damn right.� His hand crept up her body and he grabbed at one of her breasts. Kiki squealed and tried to wiggle away from him, but without notice, he spun her around and latched on to her lips. She quickly gripped his back, giving just as good as she was getting.

 

Nipping at her lips and paring with her tongue, Justin pushed her against the table and she hopped up on the surface. Her legs were wrapped around his waist bring their bodies closer. His hands started inching up her stomach to her bikini top, and when his fingertip edged under the hem, she pushed him away.

 

“Ah ah ah.�

 

“What?� He gave her a wide eyed, innocent look, but she could see the underlying mischief.

 

“Don’t be cute. We have somewhere to be so come on.� She unlocked her legs from around his hips and pushed him away. “Put on your shirt and let’s go.�

 

He pouted, “you’re so mean to me,� but he did as he was told, grabbing the white tee draped over the bar stool.

 

 Kiki hop off the table and approached him from the side. “You’ll live.� She kissed his cheek and grabbed his cell and key card off of the bar. “I’ll put these in my bag. Now let’s go.�

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Everyone was down at the pool already, partaking in the festivities when Justin and Kiki arrived. Clusters of people were divided between the bar, the patio tables or in the pool swimming. The couple split up, Kiki snagged the free lounge chair the girls had held for her and quickly jumped into their conversation. While Justin went over to the bar to talk shit and have a beer with a few of the guys.

 

It wasn’t long before someone suggested a game of volleyball and a handful of people jumped in the water and swam to the net at the end of the pool. There were an odd number of players, so Sarah sat out to serve as the referee. Justin and Kiki were on opposite teams and took great pleasure in taunting each other whenever they were losing.

 

Sitting at a patio table monitoring the game - more like enjoying a margarita - Sarah heard Kiki’s cell jingling in her bag. She pulled it out and saw that the call was from the club. Any calls from work, Kiki was adamant about taking so she called a time out.

 

“Kiki, The club called!�

 

“Oh, um ok. Come and take over for me.�

 

She swam to the edge of the pool and as she was climbing out, Sarah dove in. Drying off quickly, she grabbed her cell off the table and head towards the door to the hotel lounge.

 

“Hurry up and get back so can finish kicking your ass.� Justin yelled at her.

 

Groaning at his friend’s stupidity, Marty bounced the ball off the back of his head. “Dude we ain’t even winnin’.� 

 

Justin deflated, having miscounted counted the number of points his team had won, while Kiki and her team were cracking up.

 

She stood in the doorway laughing at him and instructed Sarah to, “continue kicking his ass in my place girl.� She gave her a thumbs up and went inside.

 

 

By the time Kiki came back, the game was over and both teams were back on land, a new set of players were in the water going head to head. Her eyes targeted Justin sitting on one of the patio chair at the end of the little huddle they had formed and she marched straight towards him. 

 

“I can’t believe you. What are you trying to pull?� She stood in front of him with a look of awe on her face.

 

Mid gulp of his beer, his eyes started darting all over the place trying to think of what he might have done recently to piss her off. “Uh nothing?� He guessed after coming up empty.

 

Smiling brightly, she dropped her hands from her hips and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around him. “I just heard otherwise.� She pulled back and laid a big kiss on him.

 

He wasn’t expecting that, but he wasn't complaining and before he could response she popped away from him, squealing and cheesed happily.

 

“You are like the sweetest boyfriend ever and I love it. Thank you so much baby!� She hugged him tight once again.

 

“You’re welcome, but what did I do?�

 

“The package you sent my students. They got it today.� She grabbed his beer and took a sip.

 

Confusion melted from his face to be replaced by a content smile. “Did they like it?�

 

“Like it? They loved it!�

 

Among those watching in intrigue, Denosh, one of the backup singers, was the one to pose the question. “What exactly did he do?�

 

“Well my youth hip hop class just won a local dance competition back in LA. Justin sent them a letter congratulating them, autographed copies of his album and a bunch of souvenirs from the tour.�

 

“Aww that’s so sweet Justin.� Tori praised.

 

“Yes it was.� Kiki agreed with her bright and happy smile permanently stuck on her face from his sweet gesture. “I can’t believe you did that. You didn’t have to.�

 

“I know. I wanted to.� He assured and she cupped the side of his face, whispering “thank you� before she kissed him again.

 

“What a kiss ass.� Marty ragged and Justin gave him the finger while still getting his kisses.

 

“How excited we’re your students?� Alex inquired once the couple separated.

 

“Oh my gawh. Marissa said they were freaking out and some of them even cried. Most of them are big fans of yours.� She told Justin. “They said to tell you thank you and to keep an eye out for a special delivery.�

 

“Yeah? What is it?�

 

Of course she had got the detail from Marissa but she couldn’t tell. “Nuh uh. It’s supposed to be a surprise.� Her students were putting together their own routine to Rock Your Body. Justin was going to be stoked; she herself couldn’t wait to see it.

 

“How old are they?� Gina asked after taking a drag of her cigarette.

 

“They’re high schoolers, between 14 and 18.�

 

“Ah then they’re probably ‘N Sync fans too.� Sarah summarized.

 

Kiki snorted and rolled her eyes. “Of course. And I’ve had to come up with more routines to their songs than I’d like to admit.� Justin scoffed and sputtered at her offense. Kiki just shrugged at him. “What? I was a Backstreet fan babe. Sorry.�

 

Trace cracked up laughing while snickers of laughter spread throughout the rest of the group at the offended look on Justin’s face and Kiki’s obvious disregard.

 

“I got your Backstreet for you.� He held her tight and sprung out of his seat. “Hold your breath.�

 

“What?� Kiki blurted and only too late, realized Justin had taken her to the edge of the pool. Next thing she knew she was falling into the water.

 

She came to the surface, sputtering angrily. “UGH! Where is he?!� She yelled when she didn’t see him anywhere on deck.

 

“Behind you.�

 

She didn’t get the chance to face him before he grabbed her waist and tossed her into the middle of the pool.

 

“Water fight!� Ralphie called and they all jumped back into the pool, splashing around, dunking and tossing each other around. They were like a bunch of carefree kids again having a good ol’ time.

 

The battle was boys vs. girls and it wasn’t as easy a fight as the guys thought it would be. These girls were tough and played dirty, pulling hair and biting, whatever it took to win. When Trace tossed Gina on Justin, the two started fighting, leaving him and Kiki to clash.

 

“Oh ho ho. You’re going down chica.�

 

“Don’t think so Juan.�

 

They lunged at each other at the same time, locked together, holding each other’s shoulders in a death grip. Trace jerked Kiki to one side trying to push her over with no success and after receiving a hard pinch to his back he dropped his hold on her. Kiki tried to use her freedom to her advantage and push Trace over into the water, but his hands closed around her arms and again he tried to jerk her into the water. It almost worked until he was caught off guard when her leg swept his out from under him. Kiki was ready to celebrate her victory as she watched him falling under the surface, but Trace wasn’t about to go down alone. He grabbed her shoulder and yanked her down with him.

 

In the middle of the fray the string on her bikini got popped and when Kiki came out of the water she was holding her drooping top to her chest.

 

“You ass!� She growled and swatted him in the arm. “You broke my bathing suit.�

 

“Sorry, but hey - it’s a casualty of war.� He chuckled at her.

 

“You’re gonna be a casualty when I get back.� And she swam away to the side of the pool near their lounge chairs.

 

“Kik where you going?!� Alex called out when he saw getting out of the pool.

 

She stood on the top rung of the pool ladder, holding on to the rail with one hand. “I gotta go change. Mini Me over there popped my bikini string.�

 

“Oooh.� Justin taunted Trace and pointed at him like a little kid. “You’re in trouble.� He laughed at his buddy.

 

“Damn right he is as soon as I get changed.� Kiki wrapped her towel around herself and marched back into the hotel.

 

 

The fight eventually simmered down, once Gina got out saying, “I’m done, my bikini it too cute to get ruined� and the rest of the girls followed suit in agreement. There was no fun in a water fight without the girls to throw around so most of the guys got out too, except for the few who stayed in to play basketball. Nightfall had come, the sky was dark and the stars were out, it was time for relaxing with a nice cool drink. Their allotted time in the pool was at an end anyway and other guests of the hotel started come to the pool for a moonlight dip.

 

Eventually the crew members started mingling with some of the new faces, a group of college students in town to see the show and visit some family. They were thankfully very cool about being around Justin and he was able to enjoy himself. That was until he realized some time had passed and Kiki had yet to return. He decided to go find her, see what was taking her so long and head her off so they could curb their behavior around the strangers now in their company. Excusing himself, he grabbed her bag that still had his key card inside and headed up to the suite.

 

 

“Kik. Baby you still here?� He called out and closed the front door behind him.

 

“In the bedroom!�

 

He found her standing in front of the dresser mirror, wrapped in a towel brushing her wet hair up in a ponytail.

 

“You took a shower?� He sat her bag on top of the dresser and leaned against the edge next to her while she put lotion on her arms and chest.

 

“Yeah.� Her attention turned to him while she rubbed the mango scented cream that he loved to smell on her skin, into her hands. “I’m over the pool. I’m gonna just change before I go back down, get some food and have a couple of cocktails.�

 

“Or…� He started and pulled her to his chest. “We could just stay up here. Have some alone time.� Thinking about going downstairs with her reminded him that they would have to pretend they were just friends when they returned. No holding hands, casual kisses, no PDAs of any kind, something he wasn’t keen on.

 

Kiki thought it over and she definitely preferred his idea. “Ok, but since we’re not going back down, can we order some food up here? I’m starving.�

 

“Yeah. I could use some grub too.� He grabbed the back of his shirt and flipped it over his head. “You go ahead and order, I’m going to go take a shower myself.� He disappeared into the bathroom and Kiki got dressed before she went to get the menu from the bar.

 

 

Walking out the bathroom with steam billowing behind him, Justin found what looked liked an empty room, but he could still sense her presence. “Where are you?�

 

“Over here.� Her head peeked over the edge of the bed where she was seated in front of the TV. “Put some clothes on and come eat.�

 

He pulled his towel off his body and went over to his luggage, searching for a pair of shorts. “What’d you get?�

 

“Did you know they had Chinese food on the menu?�

 

“No but it’s your favorite so I’m guessing that’s what we’re eating.�

 

He finally got a full view of her when he reached the end of the bed. Sitting Indian style in just a pair of undies and a t-shirt, Kiki had spread out the dishes she ordered on a blanket in front of her.

 

“I just love how room service is like lightning fast when they find out its coming to your room. Yet it took almost an hour when me and Tori ordered food to ours.� She gushed sarcastically.

 

He dropped down to the floor next to her, sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him. “That’s because they recognize. I’m JT baby.�

 

“Newsflash no one really cares about JT.� She jokingly rebuffed and gave him the option of a plate or bowl. He took the plate and the napkins she passed him.

 

“You do.� He grabbed her bare thigh, tenderly brushing his thumb across her tattoo that was visible before he leaned down to kiss the green and blue sign of the twins.

 

“Yup and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.� She retorted inattentively, preoccupied with cracking open the food containers. She was too hungry to converse right now.

 

She had ordered sweet and sour shrimp, vegetable lo mien, a favorite of both of theirs - General Tao’s chicken and a couple of egg rolls. She had also grabbed a couple of beers from the bar.

 

“Dig in.� She announced as she passed him a set of chopsticks.

 

“Did you ask for these?� He wagged the utensils in the air.

 

She was way ahead of him at this point, already raking some chicken over the lo mien she had piled in her bowl. “Of course, forks with Chinese food are for whimps.�

 

“Yay yea! I knew you were my girl for a reason.� He wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her towards him to lay sloppy kiss on her cheek, making her giggle.

 

“Stop.� She playfully whined and pushed him away. “Eat your food.�

 

Dinner continued to be a lively event with Justin’s constantly teasing and trying to interrupt her. But no matter how hard he tried or made her laugh, she was not about to be deterred. Despite his efforts, she ended up happily full off of two helping of food.

 

“Fortune cookie time.� Kiki announced when Justin came back in the bedroom after setting the used dishes outside the suite. She was waiting on the bed with a cookie for each of them in hand. “I wanna go first.� She tossed him his once he was on lying back on his elbows beside her.

 

The package crunched and the cookie popped when she opened it. She slid the piece of paper out of one half and cleared her throat to read the message.

 

Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery!

 

Her eyebrows scrunched together in angry and her lips pursed into a pout. “Hey! That’s not even a damn fortune.� She flung the piece of paper away from her and Justin laughed.

 

“Your future sounds bright Baby Doll.�

 

“Shut up.� She was still pouting with her arms crossed over her chest. Justin “aw baby�–ed her and cooed as he tried to wrap an arm around her. “Don’t try to console me. Just open yours. Let’s see how bright your future is.�

 

He sat up and tore open the cellophane package. “Pssh. Girl, mine is so bright I gotta wear shades.� He chuckled and cracked the cookie open.

 

“You have been rather cocky tonight, but that right there was beyond corny.�

 

He pulled the strip of paper out and read. Your happiness is before you, not behind you! Cherish it.

 

Almost instantly their eyes meet and an awkward silence fell over the room. It was like a slap in both their face, a wake up call for both of them, but particularly for Justin. He was still letting the past keep him in denial over how he truly felt about Kiki. In actuality, they both were in denial about their feelings. They had been skating along for awhile now, footloose and carefree, sort of speak. Trying to avoid the potential for history to repeat itself if they admitted what they shared was more serious than what they were deluding themselves to think.

 

However, despite the neon message that just popped out of the cookie, Kiki wasn’t sure they were ready to deal with those issues so she resolved to redirect.

 

“Well a happy future is a good future.� She nervously gathered their empty packages and moved to climb off the bed, intending the throw them out, but Justin grabbed her wrist before her feet could even touch the ground.

 

“Kiki.� He started, but stopped and shook his head, looking away. A silent moment passed before he raised his head and looked straight at her intently. She gasped, the words were practically screaming from his eyes. He continued to try to get his words out, but it was noticeably a struggle.  

 

Kiki’s hand shot out and covered his mouth with her fingers. “It’s okay….� She knew what he was trying to say to her and she understood it was a difficult declaration for him to make. She gave him a big smile and took a quick breath for herself, to reign in her emotions. “It’s okay to wait and tell me when you’re ready.� Her hand left his mouth and brushed down his neck to his chest, resting against his heart. Justin peered up at her then, to see if she really meant what she was saying and saw a joyous smile on her face, happy tears blurring her eyes. If that didn’t assure him, her own confession did. “Because I know what you mean and I..." Her breath hitched before she whispered. "I love you too.�

 

Justin sighed with relief and happiness, and leaned in to rest his forehead against hers. Those were hard words for him to say, they tended to backfire on him. He just needed some time to be comfortable confessing his true feelings. Until then, all that mattered was that she understood he did love her and she loved him back.

 

From the beginning of their relationship, Kiki knew what she was getting into with Justin. He was still jaded and cautious about putting himself out there again. That’s why she stopped him. She didn’t want him to force it, but to tell her in his own time that he loved her not because a pastry note prompted him to. She believed that he did love her from the way he treated her and made her feel. How he looked at her when he almost admitted his feelings and for now, it was enough for her. At this moment, all she wanted with him was to let their actions make the declarations.

 

Kiki cradled Justin’s face as her lips took possession of his and she pushing him back on the bed. He moaned into her mouth as her body molded over his and her soft hands ran down his chest. Grabbing at her shirt instead of her smooth skin he craved, Justin pulled her shirt up her body and she lifted up slightly so he could remove it completely. She was about to fall back on his chest when he flipped her onto her back.

 

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, nibbling and licking at her. His tongue trailed down her chest to the center of her breasts where he sucked on her skin until he left little love bites. Kiki moaned and shivered from his touch, her fingers pressing deep into his sinewy back. Justin peered up at her with a smirk on his face and unlocked her arms from around his body so he could sit up. He kissed each of the hands before he let them fall to her sides. Biting her bottom lip and leaving herself in his more experienced hands, Kiki simply sat back and watched him straddling her thighs, her eyes glazed over with desire, waiting for what was next.

 

Justin looked down at her half nude body in awed. “You are so beautiful.� Taking a moment to feel her soft, smooth caramel skin, he first lightly ran the back of his hand across her breast, sending a shiver through Kiki’s body. Then he ran both hands up and down the sides of her body, around to her back and finally returned to streak down her stomach to the rim of her panties. “Rainbow Brite?� He teased and plucked at the elastic band.

 

“Shut up.� She breathed, already feeling like she was on sensory overload, and reached for his face, pulling him back down for a deep kiss.

 

As their lips grappled, Justin hooked his fingers over the top of her underwear and pulled them down. Kiki lifted and wiggled her hips, helping him remove them, until they were down her legs and she kicked them off. She wrapped her bare legs around his waist, pulling his body back down to hers and he ground his erection into her, heightening their passion for each other.

 

There was only one piece of cloth still separating their bodies and Kiki wanted it gone. Still sipping at his lips, she grabbed at his shorts, tugging until they were down as far as she could reach. Justin did the rest of the work until they were on the floor, joining her discarded clothes. This time when he settled into the cradle of her hips, they were skin to skin and his dick slid across her slick folds, eliciting a moan from his own mouth and small whimpers from hers. Kiki wasn’t ready to take that step, Justin assumed, so he using all his will power and moved to break the delicious contact. But she proved that his assumption was wrong when she quickly tightened her legs around his waist and pulled him back down until he was pressing at her entrance.

 

His head jerked back until he could see her face. Was she giving him permission to take them to the next leave physically? If she was then it had to be said.

 

Trying to get his heavy breathing under control, he licked his lips and lifted her face to his with a finger under her chin. “Are you sure?�

 

For the first time this moment felt right, like this was the time and more importantly the person she was supposed to share herself with like this and with her gaze never wavered from his, Kiki nodded confidently. And to make sure there was no room for doubt, she leaned up, pressing her chest into his and verbalized it. “Yes.� Tightening legs around him, she breathed in his ear, “I want you Justin. Now,� and whined her hips into his.

 

He let out a guttural groan and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of her words right alongside her grinding against him. “Kiki….Baby.� He panted and propping himself up on one hand, he worshipfully ran the other down the center of her body as he ravaged her mouth.

 

Pulling away from her, he watched her face and cupped her mound, slipping his fingers through her wet folds until he reached her core. Slowly he pushed a finger inside her and Kiki gasped, squeezing his upper arms.

 

He rained kisses from her cheek to her mouth and slid the tip of his tongue down her chin and throat. Kiki was laying soft kisses on his face and neck in return when he slowly began to thrust into her. He had worked her body like this before, but this time he was even more attentive and so tender. When she started rocking her hips into his massaging finger, he added another, stretching her gently. Kiki’s pleasure seemed to skyrocket when his thumb began to circle her clit and she moaned out loud. His touch was sending sparks throughout her body, makinf her pant and her heart race. He pulled his face out from where he was laving at the crux of her neck and watched hers twist in pleasure as he continued to push her to her peak.

When it hit Kiki, she gasped out loud. “Oh!� Her back lifted from the mattress and her hands fisted in the sheets beside her as she came.

 

Listening and watching as she practically purred and then melted back down on the bed with a satiated look on her face, Justin couldn’t help his arrogant smirk, knowing he did that to her. But it was only the beginning and sensing she was ready, he kissed her softly yet passionately while slowly pushed inside of her. Kiki arched in pleasure again, but at first she didn’t tense so he continued to gradually move inside of her until he reached her barrier. That’s when she froze in anticipation of the inevitable pain.

 

“It’s okay. It’s okay, baby. I’ll make it all better I promise.� He cooed.

Looking him in the eyes, she nodded and said. “I know so just go. Do it.� She leaned up to peck his lips and Justin immediately responded.

With a hard consuming kiss that almost took her breath away and totally took her mind off of what was about to happen, he thrust forward to the hilt. He stayed still, resting his body on top of hers until she got used him being fully inside of her, placing small soothing kisses all over her face and whispering tender words of assurance.

Kiki breathed deep, concentrating on his kisses to help her relax till the initial discomfort ebb away. All traces of pain gone, she now felt this intense satisfaction of being so completely filled, physically and emotional, and she knew it could only get better from here. So she hiked up her legs around his waist to pull him even closer, signaling that she was ready from more.

Justin got the message and feeling her wrapped so hot, tight and wet around him, he was more than ready to get it started. Pulling back he looked down at her glowing lust filled face and teased.

“Say please.�

Kiki gasped in offense. “Oh you ass-“ But she was cut off when Justin quickly pulled out and thrust back into her. “Oh God.� She moaned and hugged his body, biting her nails into his back.

It only served to turn Justin on even more and he started a deep steady pace. With his arms braced on the bed under her shoulder, his hands gripped the nape of her hair and he plundered her mouth. Kiki’s lips battled back just as fiercely and she quickly picked up his rhythm, moving her hips with his in unison.

Feeling him slid in and out of her was eliciting a feeling in the pit of her stomach that Kiki had never felt before. It was an overpowering euphoric feeling that Justin was heightening with each thrust. She began to quivering and clench around his dick, pulling him in deeper.

 

That fueled the fire in Justin and needing to feel more of her, he grabbed one of her arms from around his body, pulled it above her head, holding her hand against the mattress as his pace sped up and he pumped into her powerfully.

“Fuck baby …Mmm.� He moaned in ecstasy, feeling that tingling at the base of his spine growing stronger.

 

Her mewling was growing increasingly louder and he knew she was just as close as he was. He wasn’t going to hold back any longer and started to pump harder and faster. He changed the angle of his thrusts slightly, hitting her spot and she started to writhe beneath him, raking her fingernails down his back. Justin took her even higher when he slid his hand down in between them and with the flick on his fingers against her clit, the build up of pleasure suddenly burst free from Kiki.

 

It was such an odd feeling, a fire blazing through every part of her body from head to toe that felt better than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. She couldn’t control the spasm of her whole body or the scream that came from her mouth. “Justin!�

 

He was right behind her, reaching his peak and he buried his face in the dip of her neck, moaning loudly as he came inside of her. His body fell into hers and when he felt Kiki pull him close, he wrapped her up in his arms. Feeling shaken to the core, but in a good way, like never before, Justin simply enjoyed the feeling of still being inside her as the pleasure still coursed through his body.

 

After awhile, once they floated back down to Earth, Kiki’s hands began to softly run up and down his sweating back. Justin left a series of kisses on her shoulder before he pulled out of her and not wanting to crush her, rolled onto his back, bringing her with him. Neither said anything, but they were all smiles as she hovered over him and they simply stared at each other. Justin splayed his hands across her lower back, pushing her body upper ward and taking his hint Kiki cupped the back of his face, and they shared a soft loving kiss. There were no word to explain what they just felt from each other in this moment, but that one kiss said all that need to be.

 

Exhaustion eventually bore down on them and deep under the covers the two lovers curled around each other and fell into a warm, thoroughly satisfied sleep.

 

Early the next morning, Justin was the first to wake and when he felt Kiki’s warm soft body molded against his. A lazy, but content smile spread across his face and he tightened his grip around on her waist, burying his face in her riot of hair. Even after their vigorous activity last night she still smelled so good, he thought, as he inhaled her scent. His hand slid down and back up her hip, and across her belly, where he rubbed soothing circles over her skin. Memories of the night before flashed behind his closed eyes causing a shot of lust to go through him and his hands began to inch down below her belly button. However he froze when one particular memory hit him and hit him hard.

 

Unlike her, he may not have verbalized it, but he had professed his love for just as loudly last night. The words had been on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn’t get them out. In the end, it didn’t matter if he said he loved her, he still felt it. He was in love with Kiki. And that scared the shit out of him.

 

A part of him had seen it coming, but he chose to ignore it. He wasn’t really in love if he didn’t admit it right? Well last night a little slip of paper gave him no choice but to face how he truly felt about her. At first he was ready to spill his guts, but even before she had stopped him the words had gotten stuck in his throat. All the same, she understood what he was trying to say and there was no pressure coming from her to divulge his feelings, something he thought would only make him vulnerable. Even better she was in love with him too and getting caught up in the moment, they ended up sharing an incredible night together making love. Now in the light of day voiced or not, the love he had for her was out there, it was a fact. They loved each other. And he couldn’t handle it.

 

Slowly he removed his arms from around her waist and scooted away from her. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he scrubbed his hands across his face as a sense of dread came over him. He couldn’t do this, he wasn’t ready to expose himself and fall blindly in love again.

 

Feeling the absence of his warmth, Kiki started moving around. She rolled over and scooted closer to him. It interrupted his musing and he turned to look at her. She had such a glow of beauty and serenity on her face it made his heart skip.

 

He reached out and traced the curve of her cheek with a finger. God I’d be so blinded by you, I’m practically there already.

 

She made everything calm and soothing when his world was stressful and chaotic with just one of her bright smiles. She understood him, listened to all his venting even when it was just bullshit whining. He could always count on her to be there when he needed comfort or when he needed a reality check. He chuckled softly at the thought of how just one of her sideway glares had the power to straighten him right out wherever he stepped out of line.

 

Kiki was perfect for him, too perfect. He never felt more content just being with her, loving her. And that was the problem, he’d been deeply in love before and he got burned, bad. If he felt so much more for Kiki, how much worse would the damage be when she too burnt him?

 

Without move the bed or making too much noise, he stood up and quickly got dressed. He felt like the lowest asshole just leaving her as he walked to the bedroom door, but he couldn’t face her when he knew he was about to break her heart. He felt like he was suffocating in this room and he had to get out just so he could breathe and figure out how he was going to walk away from her. He went back to the bed and leaned over her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

 

“I’m so sorry Baby Doll.�

 

He turned his back on her and left the room, then the suite, breaking his own heart knowing that was the last time he’d be truly happy for awhile, if ever.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Not long after Justin left, Kiki arouse. She no longer felt him curled around her and opening her eyes, she saw that his side of the bed was empty. Running her hand along the sheet, she felt the warmth the space still held so she guessed he was in the bathroom. She listened for the sounds of the shower running or the toilet flushing, some sign of life in the other room, but heard nothing. She got out of the bed and went to investigate. With the top sheet wrapped around her body, she opened the door and found it empty. The only other place he could be was the living room and she came up empty once again when she checked there. She sat on the edge of the bed clutching the sheet to her chest, feeling panic creep inside of her. Justin wouldn’t do that to, he wouldn’t trash a more perfect night than she could have dreamt by just leave her like she was nothing.

 

No he practically told me, he wanted to tell me he loved me last night. He wouldn’t use me like that.

 

She vehemently chased the thought from her mind, refusing to believe he would hurt her in that way. She knew him better than that. “He’s probably at the gym or had a meeting that he forgot to tell me about. Everything’s fine.� She pep talked herself.  He’ll call me or come back soon.

 

Instead of dwelling on, in her mind the impossible, Kiki got up and went to take a shower. It would help relax her, not to mention soothe her deliciously achy muscles. She smiled to herself as she thought about last night and prepared for her shower.

 

When she came out of the bathroom, Justin was still missing. She wasn’t going to worry over it though because nothing was wrong and she went about getting dressed.

 

While she was putting on her top, a jingle from her cell phone sounded through the room. It was a voicemail, apparently left while she was in the shower and thankfully it was from Justin. Almost giddy with relief, Kiki opened the message:

 

Hey Baby Doll. Sorry I wasn’t next to you when you woke up. I totally forgot about this early morning interview Johnny scheduled for me. You’ll probably be at the arena by the time I get back to the hotel, so I’ll see you at rehearsal. Okay? Bye baby.

 

A smile stayed on her face as she listened to the message. “I knew he didn’t just leave me,� she said to the smatter of doubt that had been lingering. He had work to do, the only thing that ever pulled him away from her. He sounded fine, no regret what so ever in his voice. She had nothing to worry about.

 

Kiki was finished dressing when her voicemail alert went off again. It was another one from Justin and she was elated even more. He could never call her just once. Nothing had changed, everything was still the same. Only better.

 

Hey it’s me again. Last night was…..amazing. I’ll never forget it….See you later.

 

He sounded so at ease about their night together and it only made her happier. She finally found a good one. A real one who wouldn’t break her heart.

 

Collecting all her stuff, Kiki hurried out of the suite, never had she been more anxious to get to rehearsal.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Justin was the last to arrive at the arena and the crew was already there harmonizing, tuning up or warming up. When Kiki saw that he had finally made it, she quickly finished her stretches and bounced over to where he was talking with his keyboardist, Kevin. They were just ending their conversation when she reached him and she tapped on his shoulder.

 

“Hey.� She said with a big smile plastered on her face.

 

He turned to her and smiled back hesitatingly. “Hey.�

 

“I missed you this morning.� She grabbed the end of his shirt and leaned into him, a dreamy glint in her eyes. As much as he wanted to he couldn’t ignore that look on her face or the whole glow she had going on. It felt good to know he put that look there. “How was the interview?�

 

And just like that, that good feeling was gone with the reminder that he had lied to her. When he got into the elevator after leaving her, the thought of her feeling used and hurting when she woke up in the empty suite with no sign that he had ever been there, was physically painful for him. He had to leave her a voice mail at the very least. But there was no interview, just the first lie he ever told her. He may be making her happy right now, but he knew sooner or later he’d have to be the one to cause her pain when eventually he would have to tell her the truth. Shaking off his misery because he wasn’t ready for that to happen today, he lied once again. “It was fine.�

 

“Well that’s good.� He just nodded and that struck her as strange. He always had something to say, complain, or whatever about his interviews. Taking a moment to really look at his whole demeanor, she could tell something was off about him. “Are you okay?� That fear she had this morning was back again.

 

“Yeah I’m fine just a lot on my mind.� Pat yourself on the back man, the first thing you’ve said to her today that wasn’t a lie.

 

“Oh.� She said, relief washing over her once again. “We can talk about it at lunch if you want.�

 

“Uh I can’t. I got call Johnny about the interview then.� And you’re back to lying.

 

“Oh ok.�

 

“Yeah we actually have to talk about the next leg of the tour too. I have so much to do before we go overseas. I’m going to be swamped with work.� Excuses were pouring out of him now. They weren’t lies per se, but they weren’t full truths either. This busy streak that was coming up was nothing new, he had them sporadically all during this first leg yet he still managed to make time for her. Now he needed time away from her and using work as an excuse was a lot easier and less painful than tell her the truth.

 

“Oh yeah I can only image all the work you have to do.�

 

“Yeah, yeah.�

 

“Well I’m always here if you start getting stressed out.� She was flashing that damn smile at him again and offering up her never-wavering support. He felt like shit. He didn’t deserve that smile or her loyalty. Still, as selfish as it was, he was going to soak it up for however long he had left.

 

Reaching out he stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. “Thanks Baby Doll.� He leaned down and softly kissed her cheek. Kiki closed her eyes and savored the touch, it was his first show of affection towards her since last night. So simply yet so heartening.

 

And still too much for Justin, he felt like a thief drawing that kind of warmth from her and he suddenly broke the kiss. Pulling back, he cleared his throat from the tightness he could feel building in his chest. “Uh I need to go talk to Marty before we get started.�

 

“Ok.� She smiled wearily until he left, then her smile fell. “Ugh.� She groaned to herself, covering her face with her hands.

 

“You ok?� Alex asked in concern when he saw her distress.

 

“Yeah I’m fine.� I just feel like a stupid clingy girlfriend. Get a grip Kiki. She put on a fake smile back on and finished getting ready to work.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

After rehearsals that day, Kiki decided to give Justin some space so he could concentrate on work. She’d gone back to riding her bus and sleeping in her designated room.

At first it made things a lot easier on Justin. He wasn’t going to just cut her off so soon after they shared such an emotionally charged night. Not only would that be heartless, but selfishly, he couldn't let Kiki go. Not yet. So the distance gave him time to start winging himself off of her. Rehab of sorts. But like with any dependency before a person kicked their habit, they fell off the wagon every now and again. He’d flirt and push up on her during rehearsal breaks or seek her out backstage; looking for attention that only she could give him. Calling her in the middle of the night asking her to sneak up to his suite because he needed or just wanted her.

 

And faithfully Kiki was always right there for his disposal. Oblvious to what was going on in Justin's head, it wasn't some big sacrifice for her. He was the man she loved and if she could she wanted to do whatever made him happy. It wasn’t like she wasn’t getting anything out of it also. The separation wasn’t a picnic for her either.

 

The beck and call nature that their relationship had twisted into only made Justin feel worse. He was already lying to her, now he was basically using her, string her along when he knew that he was going to call off their relationship. He started pulling away again, it wasn’t fair to play games with her when she was so trusting and giving, all the while being blindsided. The flirting while at work stopped and so did the late nigh rendezvous. It was harder for him to stay away from her or not pick up the phone just to hear her voice, but he gathered his strength and did what he felt he had to do.

 

Kiki assumed it was just a really busy time for him and went with the flow of his complete absence once again. Meanwhile, she had work, her friends to keep her preoccupied and it gave her time to touch base at home more often.

 

“Do you have enough clean underwear hijita? Do I need to send you some?� Nina once again went through her embarrassing inventory of her daughter's belongings. “Your father wants you to remember to be safe if you’re out there being all wild and crazy.� Kiki rolled her eyes at her father’s constant worrying over her. It drove her nuts sometimes, but she still loved her Daddy.

 

“We’re barely standing without you.� Kevin joked dryly when she did her monthly check in.

 

“Mamí and Daddy are driving me crazy!� Maya ranted to her. She was basically the only child now with both Kiki and Derek on the road and despite her unfounded middle child syndrome, all the extra attention she was getting from their parents was getting annoying.

 

Tami regaled about hers and Maya’s adventures on the LA clubs scene with their new hangin' crew. “Ok here’s the situation - I’m in love with Joey but I completely love JC too. We are having so much fun just hanging out. That break of yours needs to hurry up and get here so you can get in on the fun. You are going to love going out with them. And me, you, and Marissa have to get together and find a girl for Josh quick cause the little skanks he’s got running around him are not cuttin’ it.� She already had plans set up for the whole two weeks Kiki would be back in LA.

 

“I am seriously freaking out right now Kiki. I think he’s going to ask me to marry him. He’s been talking in terms of the future, like long term 50 years old and gray kind of future. I’m going to say yes, there’s no doubt about that but its still scary knowing Trent might be planning to ask me to marry him. Oooh I’m so happy.� Marissa gushed about her wedding plans she had started already in the wake of her suspicious.

 

Kiki loved talking with her friends and family, finding out that they all were doing great, but she was starting to miss Justin.

 

 

Killing time backstage with Gina and Ralphie, the trio walked into the green room where catering has left a snack bar. Excitement spread through Kiki when she spotted Lonnie and Eric getting their fill of the assortment of food. If they were here then that meant Justin had finally arrived and she went looking for him. She ran into Marty and Brandon on her way and they told her he was on stage, messing around with the piano. As she neared the threshold between the back and main stage, she could hear him playing the melody of Never Again. She wondered why he was playing it, it was such a sad song and wasn’t even on the set list. She moved forward, stopping when she was standing behind him.

 

Justin heard her walking across the stage before he felt the heat from her body hovering at his back. It brought his mood down even further, but he continued to play the song. He had to; it kept his mind focused on his reasons for why their relationship had to end. Never again could he let himself be vulnerable and crash and burn like he did before.

 

The song ended and he closed his eyes trying to ward off the mix of agony and longing that washed over him when her hands rested on his shoulders. He had to end it, he could do it right now, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to leave her.

 

“Hey.� She said softly.

 

“Hi.�

 

“I love that song, but I gotta tell ya its really sad. Are you alright?� I’ve been asking him that a lot lately.

 

No. I’m not because part of me wants to hold on to you as tight as I can while the other wants to run from you as far and as fast as I can. “I’m fine.�

 

“Okay.� She replied, not believing him for a second, but if he didn’t want to tell her then she wouldn’t force him. Besides interrogating him was not her motive right now. She had other plans for the two of them.

 

“Well I know one thing for sure - you have been very busy lately. I haven’t even seen you in the past few days. I think you deserve a break.�

 

“Do you?�

 

“Yes.� She loosely wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. “How about I ride on your bus with you tomorrow morning? I can keep you company, we could talk.� Her mouth coming closer and closer, she insinuated with whisper in his ear, “or whatever,� her warm breath caressing him.

 

Justin closed his eyes and swallowed hard when she started kissing at the side of his neck. It felt so good, but it couldn’t continue. He grabbed her hands and gently unwrapped them from around his chest.

 

“I wish I could baby, but I gotta get on a flight back to LA tonight and I won’t be in Okalahoma until the day of the show.�

 

“Oh.� Her face was crestfallen and it gutted him. He hated knowing he disappointed her plus he was just as lonely for her as she was for him.

 

“I’m sorry.�

 

“That’s okay. Some other time then?�

 

“Of course.� He quickly stood up from the piano bench. “Listen I gotta go find Trace to make sure all our travel arrangements are still straight.�

 

“Yeah okay.� 

 

“Alright I’ll see you later.� He pecked her cheek and left the stage in a hurry.

 

“Bye.� She quietly said to herself, alone in the huge arena, feeling like something was very wrong.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Kiki was standing in line at the Hilton gift shop waiting to pay for her chips and soda, and looking through the funny keychains on display next to her. The person in front of her finished up his purchases and it was her turn at the register. Taking her focus off the trinkets, reflexively her line of vision went straight ahead through the gift shop window. She was just about to turn and approach the counter when a familiar body walked by.

 

“Justin?� She could have sworn that was him, but he wasn’t supposed to be in town till tomorrow night.

 

“Excuse me Miss. Do you want to buy those?� The cashier asked as Kiki stood there in a daze.

 

“Um.� She stuttered, glancing between the exit and the woman. “Yeah just um hold on a minute.� She dropped the items on the counter and left the shop.

 

Coming around the corner leading to the elevators, she saw Justin waiting in front of the doors.

 

What was going on, did he have a change of plans, was his business in LA cancelled? If so why didn’t he call her so they could hook up? She needed to know what had happened.

 

“Justin.� She called out as he was stepping into the car.

 

He heard his name being called and quickly faced the open doors. Thinking some fan had spotted him and regretting forcing Lonnie and Eric to give him some alone time at the hotel bar, he braced himself for a scream or being charged at. His eyes searched the lobby and fell on Kiki standing in the middle of the floor looking at him with confusion written all over her face. Their eyes locked and recognition set in before her confusion deepened when she read the guilt in his eyes.

 

It seemed like forever before the elevator alarm signaled its last call, but it didn’t stop them from staring until the doors shut and the revealing moment was cut short.

 

Standing still in the middle of the hall, Kiki’s mind was racing, she was so confused. He had seen her, there as no question about that, but what she didn’t understand was the blatant guilt on his face and in the slump of his shoulders. There was only one reason why he would be feeling guilt about being somewhere he said he wouldn’t be.

 

Her face screwed up even more in disbelief. “No.� She muttered to herself and shook her head as the reason bounced around her mind. She didn’t want to believe it, but there was only one way this could all add up to make sense. He lied to her. When he said he wouldn’t be in Oklahoma till tomorrow it was a lie. He wouldn’t have looked so guilt if his business had been postponed or something. And he would have called her to let her know so they could finally spend some time together. At least that’s what she assumed he would have done, just like she assumed he would never knowingly lie to her. It was starting to looks like she was wrong about a lot of her assumptions where Justin was concerned.

 

Kiki never went back to the gift shop, instead she went to her room to think. Thankfully Tori was out for the night. She sat on her bed completely lose in her thoughts. She was close to going back out there and hunt Justin down to get some answers, but that came off as stalkerish and desperate to her, so she stayed put. Besides he was the one who lied, he should come find her and explain himself. And not just this apparent lie he told and God know how many others, but the past few weeks of their relationship too.

Something was so off about him lately. At first she thought it was just stress from the tour, especially with the second leg approaching. He had even told her so, but since when did being stressed out lead to him lying and avoiding her? He’d been stressed out for almost the entire tour and usually he was right there looking for her to vent to or her favorite, looking for a cuddle. She loved knowing she was the one he came looking for when he needed relief. He was just as much a source of comfort to her whenever she was feeling homesick or just needed someone to hold her. It had been awhile since she felt Justin’s arms around her as they sat around his suite or on his bus.

 

A wave of fear enveloped her when she thought of how things had changed between them. She hadn’t wanted to admit it before but it was obvious now that Justin was slipping away from her. She knew something was up, she was just too worried that he would get defensive and shut down on her if she pushed him to talk to her. Now she knew he was hiding something, this lie of his proved that. A part of her wished she was still blissfully ignorant because she didn’t know how to fix this. The ball was in his court. She needed, no deserved, to know what was going on. They were in a relationship together, they loved each other and he should be able to trust her enough to tell her what was going on with him. She wanted an explanation and she was going to stay in her room with her cell nearby until he called or came by with one.

 

Kiki fell asleep waiting for an explanation that never came.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

“Yeah.� Justin called to whoever was knocking. He was finishing getting dressed and when he looked up to see who have come in, he stopped.

 

Kiki was standing against the closed door, hands behind her back, a dismal look graced her face. She had been waiting all day to get some time alone with him. Even though showtime was minutes away, she wasn’t about to have another restless night, stressing over his lies.

 

“What do you want?� He looked down needing to break their eye contact and began messing with the buttons on his shirt that needed no adjusting.

 

“You know exactly what I want.� She said steadily, even though inside she was scared to death to find out how this conversation would end. Something told her it would not be a fairytale ending. “Why did you lie to me Justin?�

 

Instead of answering, he just turned his back on her and continued to fiddle with his clothes in the mirror. Pressing the collar of his jacket and straightening out his cuffs, anything to keep himself as detached as possible from this confrontation. This was it and he wasn’t prepared at all.

 

Kiki fumed at his blatant disregard for her. “Hello! Are you going to say anything to me?� She pushed off of the door and walked to the middle of the room.

 

She was an arm's length away from him now, yet he still wouldn’t talk and kept his back to her. How was he supposed to tell her that he had been pushing her away and lying because he needed time to prepare himself to end their relationship? What could he say: I want you, I need you, but I can’t be with you? I can’t trust that you won’t be like the others and break me too.

 

He didn’t want to tell her those truths when it would only lead to him losing her. He knew his head was all fucked up over this, neglecting and lying to her wasn’t going to lessen his chances of losing her. He couldn’t be with her, but at the same time he didn’t want to lose Kiki from his life.  It was an impossible situation and he wished he could just turn back time to before their emotions had gotten so deeply involved. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about getting his hear broken again or breaking hers.

 

“You could start with an apology.� She continued to seethe. Even though he wasn’t saying anything, she was going to say her piece no matter what. “Then maybe an explanation, something. I mean you’ve been distancing yourself and blowing me off ever since-“ She stopped abruptly when the answer struck her. He’d been acting differently since they made love for the first time, since before he almost….

 

Justin couldn’t do this, sit here and listen to her demand answers he did not want to give her. Answers that she was now starting to figure out and would soon, cause her nothing but pain. He didn’t want to hurt her. God, he wanted to be one of the people she knew would never hurt her. That wasn’t possible anymore and he had to get out of the room before he could cause her anymore heartache. He quickly turned around, keeping his gaze to the floor as he bypassed her to the door.

 

He had the door open and was stepping through the walkway when Kiki spoke up.

 

“I love you Justin. And I know you love me. But if you have so little trust in me that you feel like you have to push me away and worse, lie to me. When you know I understand how you feel and would never force you into anything. Then I don’t know how we’re going to make it.�

 

This moment was so bittersweet for him because it was like the final nail in the coffin. She was in love with him yet he still had to walk away from her before he fell anymore in love with her, leaving him completely at her mercy.

 

His back stayed to her for the seconds that he hesitated before he walked straight out of the room without acknowledging her at all. The door shut and Kiki dropped onto the coffee table.

 

“Oh God.� She breathed and covered her face with her hands, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. She felt so helpless, what was she supposed to do when he didn’t trust her? They were falling apart right in front of her eyes and she couldn’t stop it. Justin was still dealing with his demons and until he resolved them, they were stuck. She was willing to stand by him before, but now he was lying to her. She was not about to sit back and let a man treat her like he didn’t have enough respect to be truthful with her. Still she loved Justin and wanted to be with him. She was at a crossroads, stick around or walk away, and she didn’t know which way to turn.

 

“It’s showtime everyone!� A stage hand shouted through the hallway startling her out of her brooding.

 

Wiping the tears from her face, Kiki stood up on shaky legs and went over to the vanity mirror. She inspected her face, making sure all signs of her tears were gone, luckily her eyes weren’t red or puffy.  In the end, only the sadness there remained and it was much more telling. She had to burying those emotions right now, it was time to play the part, so she breathed deeply and put on her happy face before she left the room.

 

 

Standing next to Justin at the entrance to the stage, waiting for the music to queue, Kiki kept her eyes forward, trying to put all her focus on the show. For the next two hours she would have to acknowledge and interact with him, but at this moment she was going to block him out. That wasn’t so easy when out the corner of her eye she could see him continuously glancing at her.

 

Thankfully the band started playing and it was time to put on their game faces and get to work.

 

 

Hours later, Kiki walked off stage physically and emotionally drained. For the first time on this tour, she had a hard time performing, even harder than when they didn’t get along. She had to fight to keep up a pleasant appearance and ignite that chemistry that usually came natural when she and Justin danced. Never in her life had she had to work up the desire to dance, all the joy seemed to have been suck out of it. Justin didn’t appear to be that into his performance either, he was so lethargic, like it required some great effort to pull off the show.

 

She just hoped it wasn’t noticeable.

 

“That better have been a one time only performance cause you two were horrible tonight.� Marty met up with the duo on their way to the dressing rooms. He wasn’t scolding them, but it definitely wasn’t the praise he usually gave them.

 

Briefly Justin shot a worried glance in Kiki’s direction, which she ignored. “Sorry man, it was just an off day for me.�

 

“Yeah sorry Marty. My mind was on other things.� She looked directly at Justin. “It won’t happen again.� She promised and quickly moved around both men, disappearing into the dressing room.

 

“We’ve got 5 more weeks until break. Don’t lose that momentum.� He patted Justin on the back breaking him out of his revere.

 

He had been thinking about those things that were on Kiki’s mind, like all the shit he’d been putting her through lately. The way he walked out on her right before the show, he could only image what she was thinking about him. He couldn’t avoid her or lie anymore and sooner or later there would be another confrontation between them. And there was no question it would be the last, they’d be over after that. How many weeks, days even, would there be before that came?

 

“Yeah I know. Five weeks.�  A break from the tour, from his personal hell, felt like months away rather than weeks. How was he going to be around her for 4 more months after that? How was he going to pretend everyday when he saw her that he didn’t love her, need her, without losing it?

 

 

After Oklahoma, their performance never faulted again, but their relationship was almost a pile of rubble. Kiki made a point to put as much distance as possible between her and Justin, not that she needed to anyway. The only time she saw him at all was at work and he didn’t talk to her, not even about work related issues. She didn’t have the will to challenge him again. He wasn’t willing to do anything to stop their relationship from falling apart, so why should she bother. She wasn’t about to hold on to someone who obviously wanted to be let go.

 

The changes between the couple hadn’t gone unnoticed by the crew. It was almost like déjà vu, very reminiscent of the first few months before the tour started. Kiki and Justin were cold and detached towards each other, but there was no constant bickering this time. That worried Alex and Trace, who knew the pair better than anyone else on tour. Silence meant something was really wrong, but neither Kiki nor Justin would talk about it. There wasn’t much to be said anyway with so many things in limbo between them.

 

Were they even still together?

 

Putting aside her anger and hurt, Kiki wanted to believe that if he would only open up to her, trust her, they could get pass this. He had to make the initiative though; she’d done everything she could. In the meantime, as pathetic as it was, she would deal with the hurt and wait for him. What else could she do? She loved him.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Alex had been watching Kiki mope around for over a week now and he was tired of it. He understood she and Justin were having problems, but she needed to get her mind off him, for one night at least, and get out of her hotel room.

 

“Come on Kiki. Gina found this really cool club downtown. You gotta come out with us.�

 

“I’m just not up to it.�

 

“Well get up to it. Staying cooped up in your room everyday is not healthy.�

 

Irritated and growing more and more defensive, Kiki snapped. “You know what Alex? Back off. This is my issue not yours, so let me deal with it on my own.�

 

“Fine, fine. Do you.�

 

“Thank you.� She grabbed her pillow and tucked it under her chin, going back to staring aimlessly at the TV.

 

“Well we’re headed out in a little while so I gotta go change.� He got out of the chair, “get some rest babe,� and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “Love you.�

 

“Love you too.�

 

Alex was long gone and Kiki had grown bored of flipping through the channels, bored and tired. So tired of thinking about Justin, worrying about Justin. Jumping off of the bed in frustration, she started pacing. She needed a distraction and that wasn’t in this room any longer. So she decided to take Alex’s advice. Finding an outfit in her suitcase, she jumped in the shower and almost an hour later she was in a cab on her way to downtown Albuquerque.

 

In the cab she called Alex to find out what club they were at, but he wasn’t picking up. That little shit is probably trashed already or making out with some hottie he met on the dance floor. Next she called Tori getting the same results, but finally she got a hold of Gina.

 

“Hey baby! You coming out?� She screeched loudly and drunkenly.

 

“Yeah. Where are you guys though?�

 

“VIP baby where else.�

 

“What club Gina?�

 

“Oh…I forgot. Let me ask.� Kiki could hear her asking someone over the line. “Thanks cutie. Ok it’s called Reservoir.�

 

“Okay. Sir I’m headed to a club called Reservoir.�

 

“Got it.� The cabbie nodded.

 

“Okay Gina I’ll be there soon. I’ll meet you in VIP.�

 

“Ok see ya soon babe.�

 

What Kiki didn’t know was Gina was sitting among the group that was hanging with Justin. She was too drunk to be conscious of the fact that she wasn’t a big fan of Justin’s lately – none of the girls were knowing he had something to do with Kiki’s recent depression – so she didn’t protect when Ralphie dragged her to sit with them. Gina wasn’t even aware that she accidentally set Kiki up when she told her where to find them. Kiki was about to walk straight into the situation she was trying to avoid in the first place.

 

She got into VIP with no problem and it didn’t take her long to spot Gina sitting next to Ralphie among a group of people. Unfortunately it wasn’t until she was right in front of their booth that she saw the center of attention was Justin. She wanted to turn away and go find Alex, who wouldn’t be caught dead around him, but Gina saw her.

 

“Baby you’re here. Come sit down.� And she pulled Kiki down on the settee before she could protest. Gina’s screeching alerted Justin to her presence and after a brief acknowledgement, he went about ignoring her.

 

Kiki was nauseous sitting there watching him indulge in the endless amount of alcohol that was being served and the excessive attention his little followers were showering him with, particularly the two women flanking him. They were both throwing themselves at him, whispering in his ear, touching him and he was eating it all up. You would never guess not only did he have a girlfriend, but that she was sitting right across from him watching.

 

It was like driving by a car crash for Kiki. No matter how hard it was to watch, how deep her hear sank with each passing moment, she couldn’t look away. She wasn’t going to look away until he looked at her, right in her eyes while he continued to treat her like she meant less than nothing to him.

 

Justin had been feeling like crap these last couple of weeks. With each passing day his relationship with Kiki was breaking down more and more, and it was killing him. All he wanted to do tonight was go out with his friends and drink until he couldn’t remember the name Kiki anymore. His plans were foiled when she not only showed up in the same club as him, but right at the booth he had reserved. Her timing was perfect too, there he was flirting like the playboy his image portrayed, being fondled and propositioned by females left and right. Instead of pushing them away when Kiki joined them, like the good boyfriend he was supposed to be, he wrapped his arms around both girls and pulled them closer. Maybe if he kept pushing the envelope Kiki would put him out of his misery and dump his sorry ass.

 

Once again he wasn’t that lucky and all she did was stare at him. He could feel her anger and hurt burning from her glare and it was starting to get to him. He was getting angrier, not at her but himself. If it wasn’t for him, if he only had the balls to be honest when his doubts first started they wouldn’t be where they were right now.

 

Anger and alcohol were never a good combination for Justin and eventually his anger reached its peak. And he exploded, misdirecting it all on Kiki.

 

“What? What?!� He yelled at her as he sprung forward in his seat, knocking the two women off of him. “So what if I lied, so fuckin’ what? My life doesn’t revolve around you, I don’t owe you shit. I got more important things to worry about than your ass! So why don’t you get off my fuckin’ back and get the fuck gone!�

 

Those sitting at the booth who were members of the crew, were in shock. After seeing the relationship between Justin and Kiki develop, to watch him talk down to her like that was something they never thought could happen. All the others who didn’t know the couple of course thought it was funny and were snickering and snorting, “trying� to hide their laughter.

 

Kiki inhaled sharply, feeling like her heart was just crushed by his outburst. He looked furious and his words were so hurtful, she wasn’t even sure she knew the man she was looking at. She wasn’t determined enough and she wasn’t strong enough to sit there in take this no matter how much she wished she was. She quickly bounded out of her seat and rushed to the nearest exit.

 

“You fuckin’ asshole!� Gina screamed at him and jumped up to follow her. “Kik! Kiki wait!�

 

Not only was Kiki devastated but she was embarrassed by the way Justin went off on her like that in front of his little entourage. She pushed through the crowded club, frantically looking for an exit, on the brink of tears. She made it down the stairs and was headed towards the main exit, via the bar which had the clearest path when she ran into Alex and Tori.

 

“Whoa whoa.� Alex grabbed her arms when she bumped into him and a big smile broke out on his face when he realized it was her. “Hey you made it! Tori! Kik’s here.� 

 

“YAY! Kiki’s here. Come on let’s dance.� They both tried to pull her out on the dance floor, oblivious to the tears that were now falling from her eyes.

 

“No. No guys. I don’t want to dance, I just want to go home.� She forcefully pulled herself from their grip.

 

“Oh come on -“ Alex started to goad her, but Gina burst through the crowd.

 

“Kiki! Kiki babe, are you okay?� She turned her around and hugged her close.

 

“I’m fine.� She pushed away from Gina. “I just wanna go. I just wanna go home.� She cried, no longer able to keep it in.

 

Alex finally noticed her tears and her sobs and he pulled her over to face him. “What’s wrong? What happened?�

 

“It doesn’t matter.� She was crying in earnest now, no matter how embarrassing it was to be crying in public, she couldn’t stop. “I just want to go home. I wanna go home.� She sobbed and Alex wrapped her up in his arms. He knew that “home� meant back to LA and he also knew Justin was the reason why his best friend, his little sister, was falling apart in front of him. He could kill him right now.

 

“Ok, ok honey.� He cooed into her ear. “Come on I’ll go with you back to the hotel.�

 

“Us too.� Gina linked arms with Tori and they surrounded her as they quickly made their way to the exit.

 

The four only stopping once when Ralphie finally found Gina and they told him they were leaving. He could see Kiki was upset and he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. They say never mix business with pleasure. He wasn’t done partying so he opted to stay behind and let everyone know they had left for the hotel already.

 

“Not Justin.� Kiki demanded breaking away from Alex. “I don’t want him to know a fucking thing about me anymore!� And she stormed out of the club.

 

The girls and Alex hurried out after her and found her hailing a cab. They all climb in and the ride back to the hotel was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Alex, Gina and Tori all suspected that things were only going to get worse after tonight.

 

They all followed Kiki back to her room and as much as she didn’t want to be coddled right now, she didn’t have enough strength to stop them. All she wanted to do was take a shower, go to bed and hopefully wake up back in LA. Away from Justin and away from this heartache.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Standing in front of his suite and still shaken up from Justin’s verbal attack on her at the club, Kiki was trying to work up enough courage to knock on the door. She could barely hold it together last night let alone retaliate for the things he said to her, but now she just wanted it done so she could get over him and move on with her life.  What would happen when he opened the door though? If he opened the door. What would he say to her? Would he berate her even more than he did last night or would he beg her forgiveness and go back to being the caring, considerate guy she fell in love with?

 

God how she wished they could work this out, she didn’t want to have to end things with him.

 

“There’s only one way to find out Kiki.� Standing straight and determined she raised her fist and knocked. When the door opened and the person on the other side was revealed, Kiki felt like all that strength and determination was blown out of her like a punch to the gut.

 

“Can I help you?� A woman wrapped in a sheet asked.

 

Devastation taking over her whole aura was her only response. She was in shock, she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t even move as she felt what was left of her heart shattering.

 

“Uh are you okay? Is there something you need?�

 

“Who’s at the door?� Justin called as he walked into the living room, in nothing but a towel around his waist.

 

Brown eyes clouded with tears as the unmistakable proof was standing right in front of her. She hadn’t come to the wrong room, Trace wasn’t using Justin’s suite for one of his conquests. This was real, too real and too much for her to handle.

 

“Who is it?�

 

“I don’t know she won’t say anything.�

 

The girl moved out of the way to show Kiki standing in the doorway. A mix of shock and incredible pain was on her face and Justin froze, knowing just from that look, that without a doubt they were over. Just like he thought wanted, but certainly not like this.

 

When he woke up next to a warm body that wasn’t Kiki’s, it all crashed down on him and he felt sick. The lies he told, ignoring her, his outburst that was unfeeling and callous and now this. He never meant for Kiki to find out about his infidelity, he was about to ask his company to leave and then go find her and beg her forgiveness for the way he’d been treating her. He changed his mind, he didn’t want to end their relationship anymore, no matter what the risk. He’d been miserable and he drank himself into a stupor last night trying to do the impossible, forget her. It killed him to say the things he said to her and he wanted to take it back, take it all back. He wanted a second chance, and last night with the girl was going to be a deep dark secret that he took to the grave. It was too late though. There was no way he could get himself out of this one, but he was going to try.

 

“Kiki-“ He stepped towards her and she jolted further back into the hallway away from him. She vigorously shook her head, needing him far, far away right now. Justin took the hint and stopped pursuing her.

 

A tear fell down her cheek and she closed her eyes tight trying not to shed anymore, not in front of these two. A sob choked out of her mouth before she composed herself as much as possible and definitely declared. “Goodbye Justin.� And to everything that we had.

 

She turned and walked away using the little strength she had left not to running away hysterically or stumble away in pain.

 

“Was that your girlfriend or something?� The girl closed the door and approached Justin.

 

Numbly he nodded. “Yeah.�

 

“Ooh.� She winced. “Sorry.� He only shook his head, it most definitely wasn’t her fault. “I’m just gonna go then.�

 

“Yeah.� He said with a detached voice.

 

Blindly he walked to the sofa and dropped into the seat, his eyes still glued to the door where his girlfriend, the woman he loved stood while he broke her heart. He didn’t know how long he stayed there, he wasn’t even aware when his company left. All he could think about was the look on Kiki’s face and the knowledge that he did that to her. The damage was done and now he was alone again. This time he could only blame himself.

 

 

Despite the pain and the tears clouding her vision, Kiki made it to Alex’s room without breaking down. As soon as he saw the state she was in, her face streaked with tears, her arms wrapped around her body as she trembled.  He rushed her into the room.

 

Sky was in the room lounging and Alex asked him to leave. He could clearly see Kiki was a mess and left without question. He had a feeling what was wrong anyway, word was already spreading about the argument between her and Justin last night, not to mention the state their relationship was in lately. Drama of the worse kind, broken hearts, was about the hit the Justified tour.

 

The door closed behind Sky and Kiki burst into tears in Alex’s arms. He moved them over to the bed and held her as she told him the whole story through her sobs - Justin pushing her away, his lies, and finally seeing the aftermath of his infidelity with her own two eyes.

 

“That son of a bitch!� Alex fumed and tried to launch off the bed, ready to go after him. His anger toward the guy, who was becoming a good friend of his, had been mounting since last night after Kiki went to bed and he got the details about the outburst from Gina. But this was the icing on the cake.

 

“No please don’t. It…He’s not worth it.� She grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down. “Just, just hold me. Please Alex.� She sounded so sad and broken. He immediately wrapped her up in his arms, holding he close, wanting to shield her from this heartache. She started sobbing again and he slowly rocked her back and forth, placing soothing kissed on the top of her head. “Shhh. It’s okay honey. It’ll be okay.�

 

Her puffy and blotchy face, turned up to his and she asked. “What’s wrong with me? Why do they always hurt me?�

 

“Nothing is wrong with you.� He replied adamantly. “You are one of the most beautiful, loving, loyal people I know.� He stroked her face, wiping away the tears that continued to fall. “If I could find a guy like you…..You are not to blame for Devon or Justin’s fuck ups. It’s all on them and it’s their lose. Justin is going to regret losing you.�

 

Silently Kiki cried herself to sleep in Alex’s arms. He settled her in the bed and used the opportunity to call Sky and ask if he could hang with Marty and Ralphie for the afternoon. He and the others had seen enough of the pain she was going through. That accomplished, he climbed back into the bed with Kiki and held her through her fitful sleep until it was time for them to get back on the road.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

As they say, the band played on and the tour continued to move forward. Fortunately there were only a few weeks left before they were back in LA. In the meantime, Kiki had gone from her sassy, bubbly self to a girl who forced smiles in public, but cried herself to sleep every night. Justin was pretty much in the same state, he had started drink more and nothing, not even his work made him happy. It was only a miracle of God that made it possible for him and Kiki to still work. They were consummate professionals when working, but the minute the music went off there was a football field’s worth of space between them. Unless it was work related Kiki was never in the same vicinity as Justin, it was like he did exist to her for those moments.

 

It helped that no one around them was talking about it, trying to keep the collateral damage to a minimal. They all knew the relationship was over and ended badly, but they didn’t know why. Alex and Trace were the only ones who knew the truth.

 

“Hey man.� Trace approached Alex during rehearsal one day. “How’s she doin’? Is she okay?�  He nodded over to Kiki who was trying to look happy among the girls as they talked while waiting to go through the next routine.

 

Alex sighed deeply. “No, she’s not. She’s just good at putting on a brave face. At least for those who don’t know any better.�

 

“I can’t believe this happened.� He thought his best friend had finally found the “one�.

 

“Did he tell you everything that happened?�

 

“Yeah he told me.� He rubbed his eyes, thinking about when he found Justin drunk and crying on his bus in the middle of the afternoon. He blurted it all out to him, begging Trace to tell him what to do.

 

**************************************************************

 

"I’m going to be perfectly honest with you man. I don’t think you can fix this. I don’t even know what you were thinking about pulling all that shit in the first place. For months you were trippin’ because you thought you couldn’t have Kiki. When you got her, you acted like you couldn’t be away from her for more than a minute and then you go and cheat on her? What the fuck was going on in your head J?"

 

***************************************************************

 

“I don’t get it. He had a good thing, a great thing with her and he fucked it all up.�

 

“Yup he did.� Alex said without a bit of sympathy for Justin. “Listen this is really nobody’s business so can you not say anything to anyone? Especially our friends back home, Kiki really doesn’t want them to know. She doesn’t want to deal with that drama. You know with Tami dating Joey and her and Maya being real cool with JC lately. She doesn’t want anyone to feel like they have to choose sides.�

 

“Yeah whatever she needs. I definitely won’t say anything. I know how that is, I’m living it. Justin’s my brother. What he did was wrong, I told him that much, but I also know he’s hurting too.� Alex glared at him. “Hey, hey. I’m not defending him. I’m just saying.�

 

“He brought it on himself.� Alex stressed. “Do, not just Kiki a favor but Justin too, and keep him away from her. It's bad enough that she has to work with him everyday without him trying to alleviate his conscious and fix something that can’t be fixed.�

 

Trace nodded understanding where he was coming from and agreeing. His best friend screwed up and there was no forgive and forget. “I’m sorry man.�

 

Alex genuinely smiled at Trace, knowing he was feeling guilt by association. “It’s not your fault and it’s cool.� They clutched hands and gave each other a pat. “We just gotta get them both through this tour in one piece.� He sighed, feeling like it was daunting task to oversee.

 

 

It wasn’t the healthiest solution, but Kiki forced herself to be so emotionally numb to the whole situation that after awhile it made things almost bearable. She still had her crying spells, but she was surviving. The girls were always coming up with things for them to do while traveling, anything to keep her mind occupied and Kiki was thankful for that. It kept Justin locked away in the back of her mind, but only briefly. Something always managed to come up in conversation or catch her eyes that reminded her of him. The reminders depressed her, but it was a lot easier to deal with than having him in her face. Thankful he was keeping his distance.

 

Kiki didn’t know though that Justin wasn’t staying away from her by choice. At first he wanted desperately to talk to her, but he was afraid to hear her say she hated him, as she should. So he stayed away, but his heartache was becoming too much and he needed to have some sort of contact with her other than performing dance routines. He didn’t care if it resulted in her cussing him out or slapping him even. Anything was better than nothing. But every time he tried to approach her either Trace was telling him to leave it alone or Alex was getting in his face warning him away from her. The girls were doing a good job of playing guard dog and defender of Kiki as well. They’d glare at him, murmured “asshole� under their breath when he passed them. It pissed him off, like he needed to be reminded of something he was well aware of, but at the same time he deserved worse. Still all he wanted was to talk to Kiki, just once to let her know how sorry he was. Until that happened he wasn’t going to stop looking for an opening.

 

 

He eventually got one when he saw her coming down the venue hallway right as he was leaving his dressing room. And just his luck, she was all alone.

 

Kiki was walking around backstage coming from the bathroom and heading back to the green room. Her head was downcast, something she’s been doing a lot lately that was completely out of character for the old normal Kiki. She felt like she hadn’t been normal Kiki in a long time. Glancing up just to make sure she wasn’t about to run into anything, she saw Justin coming out of his dressing room and her steps faltered. She wanted to turn around and run back into the bathroom, but what good would that do? He could always follow her in. No she had to keep walk, pretend like he wasn’t there and get back to the green room where she could find someone to shield her from him.

 

Standing tall this time, she kept her sights straight ahead and walked swiftly towards him. Not even acknowledging his presence.

 

Justin stared at her for a moment. She looked so beautiful, she always did, but at the same time he could read the sadness in her demeanor. He just wanted to beg her forgiveness, holding her and make it all go away. “Kiki.� He called to her when she passed him without a word or glance. He followed her until he was with arms reach and grabbed her hand to stop her. “Kiki baby.�

 

She froze and violently shook her hand out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me.� She wouldn’t even look at him, she stayed facing forward. “Just leave me alone.� She said each word as if they pained her to say them.

 

He didn’t stop her again as she practically ran from him. He knew he was hurting her even more with his persistence, but he had to try. He had screwed up in so many ways but he wanted to fix this, fix them. Most of all he wanted to finally tell her the truth. That he did love her, truly loved her. If it didn’t bring her back to him, he’d find a way to go on without her, but he just wanted her to know that what they shared was real and that he’d never stop loving her.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

After their run in, Justin didn’t approach her again, but it didn’t stop him from staring at her all the time. Kiki felt like she was under a microscope and it was becoming very uncomfortable. Work was becoming difficult as well when Justin’s touch would linger like it used to when they were together. When they took second breaks whenever someone called a time out for a loose shoelace or something, instead backing up, he stayed press up against her. Kiki couldn’t breathe with him hovering all the time lately. She couldn’t take being around him anymore so she made her final decision.

 

 

Justin was seated at the bar in his suite, talking shop with Johnny. One more weeks and the first leg of the tour would be over. They were talking final projections for this leg and expected projection over in Europe. It looked like he was becoming a bona fid solo success worldwide. For some reason he couldn’t muster the same enthusiasm Johnny obviously had. His already dejected mood took another hit when Johnny was reviewing some of the business that needed to be take care in LA.

 

“I schedule the audition for next Wednesday. Will you be able to fly in or should I just conduct it myself?�

 

“What audition?�

 

“For your new dance partner.� Johnny stated what he thought was the obvious.

 

“What? I already have a partner.�

 

“Not for the next leg you don’t.� He reminded.

 

“Wait what?�

 

“Uh Kiki Lewis. She declined the offer to continue on with the tour in Europe.� Johnny started searching through the paperwork for the end contract that Kiki had signed. Just to make sure he wasn’t mistaken. He would have thought the young woman would have told Justin her decision by now. “You did know that didn’t you?�

 

Justin’s head was spinning. She was leaving the tour? Why? She loved dancing and despite their relationship being a mess, they worked so well together. She couldn’t leave the tour. She couldn’t leave him.

 

“Justin. Justin. You still there?�

 

“Uh yeah sorry was just remembering when Kiki told me she wouldn’t be going to Europe with us.� He lied. “I blanked for a minute there.�

 

“Oh alright. Well should I book you a flight to come in for the audition or should I take care of it?�

 

“No you take care of it.� He glanced at the clock and saw that he had to be at the venue soon for sound check. Good because there was someone he had to have a serious talk with. “Listen I gotta get to the arena in a little bit. Got some business of my own to take care of. We’ll finish this conversation tomorrow.�

 

They parted ways and after closing his cell phone, Justin threw it across the room. Luckily it didn’t break, but he could care less right about now. He was livid. It seemed like Kiki was leaving him high and dry without even telling him. What was she planning for him to find out when she didn’t show up for check in after the break? How dare she leave his tour, she was the best damn dancer he had, how the hell would they find a replacement good enough?

 

Fuming, he grabbed his bag, swiped his cell off the floor and stormed out of the room to Lonnie and Eric’s across from him.

 

He banged on the door and shouted. “Let’s go!�

 

They got to the arena and Justin didn’t even wait for his bodyguards to follow. He charged through the hallways looking for any crew members. He found some sound guy and he told him the band and the dancers were already on stage. Flicking the curtains out of the way, Justin rushed onto the stage and scanned the area for Kiki. He spotted her smiling and laughing, having a good ol’ time with the people surrounding her and his anger flared. He stomped over to her and grabbed her upper arm, whipping her around to face him.

 

“What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to ruin me? Are you so fuckin’ bitter that you’re trying to ruin my career?�

 

“What the hell are you talking about? And let go of me.� She yanked her arm out of his grasp.

 

“You dropped out of the tour!� His voice seemed to boom through the whole arena. The news that Kiki was hoping to reveal at a later time to her friends and co workers, had them all shocked.

 

Her anger flared. “What did you expect when I can’t stand to be around you?� She hissed in his face.

 

That hurt especially when simply being around her was the only thing that made him happy anymore. His anger immediately dies down when he remembered that he brought this on himself. She was leaving because he broke her heart and it hurt too much to be around him any longer.

 

Signaling for him to follow her, Kiki charged backstage, not wanting to have this argument in front of everyone.

 

“How could you do this to me?� He asked in desperation. She was leaving him - that was all he could think. The little contact he still had with her would be gone.

 

“I didn’t do anything to you. You did this! You pushed me away. You cheated on me. The only thing I did was love you, stick by you and stupidly, let you fuck me!� She exclaimed in a quiet yell.

 

Her word hit hard again. She made what they shared seem so cheap. “Don’t say that, please baby. I love you okay. I love you, I do.� He finally confessed, but it was too late.

 

Tears were in her eyes and she looked at him with such sadness and defeat that it pierced his heart. “How am I supposed to believe that now? If you loved me how could you have done this to me?� She cried.

 

“I’m so sorry. Please baby. Please believe me. I love you. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I was just scared. I didn’t want to get hurt again, but I don’t care anymore. I just want you back. Please baby, please forgive me.� He grabbed the sides of her face and forced her to look at him as he begged her.

 

“No..� She closed her eyes trying to fight her heart’s pull back towards him. Reasons for why she had to leave were flying through her mind. A sharp stab of pain hit her when flashbacks of finding that girl at his door bombarded her. She shook her head trying to block out the painful images and his pleas. “No, I can’t.� She ripped herself away from him. She couldn’t believe anything he said anymore. He lied, he cheated and he lost her trust. “It’s too late, you’ve done too much damage. I can’t….. It’s over.� She backed away from him before rushing down the hallway, bailing out on practice. It didn’t matter anymore. One more week and this would all be over with.

 

Justin watched her run away from him once again and he fell back against the wall. Bending over, he braced his hands on his knees when he felt like his legs would give out on him. It hit him that he had really lost her, she was going back to home in a week. And he didn’t know how he was going to deal with never seeing her again.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Tomorrow the tour would be arriving back in LA and Kiki would be performing on a stage in front of thousands for the last time. She was sad that she had to leave the thrill of performing and the people she was out on that stage with, but she was too relieved to be going home. She needed to be away from it all and take the time to heal.

 

She was packing her luggage, reminiscing whenever she put away something that she got while on this tour. She had already packed those items that Justin had gotten for her, deep in her duffle so she wouldn’t have to look at them again. No matter how broken her heart was she couldn’t get rid of them, so out of sight out of mind. Thinking about that now only made her more anxious to get home and she started packing faster.

 

Stuffing her last rolled up pair of jeans in her pulley suitcase, she heard the electronic clicking of the door unlocking.

 

“Hello lovey.� Tori didn’t come in the room, but she stood in the doorway with a big grin on her face. “Up for some company?�

 

Curiosity peaked, Kiki shrugged. “Sure.�

 

Tori opened the door wider and all the dancers, the back up singers and the band filed into the room with pizza boxes and cases of beer.

 

“Since you won’t come out with us after the show in LA – which is cool, we understand – we decided to come to you.� Sky explained as everyone spread themselves out in the double hotel room. Taking any available chairs, piling on the beds and bunking out on the floor, food and drinks were being passed around as everyone chatted happily.

 

“Here we got a whole pepperoni and mushroom pizza for you and a case of Heineken.� Alex gave her the box and set the case next to her on the bedside table.

 

“Aww thanks. I’ll pass on the beer though. I want to enjoy the drive back to LA, not spend it puking my guts out in the bus bathroom.� She opened the pizza box and dug in like everyone else.

 

“More for us then.�

 

“So I see you’re packed already. In that of a hurry to get away from us?� Ruben, the bass player, only half joked. They all knew she was in a hurry to get away from someone in particular.

 

“You know it. Ya’ll done got on my damn nerves.� She cracked and a collective laugh filled the room.

 

“We’re gonna miss you Kik.� Sarah pouted.

 

She smiled sadly. “I’m going to miss you guys too.� Gina who was sitting next to her, wrapped an arm around her and hugged her.  “Make sure you take it easy on Europe and the new girl.�

 

“You know we gotta initiate her, but after that we’ll be nice. For you.� Marty winked at her and she giggled. She was happy to see him there. He and Trace were Justin’s close friends, but they both maintained their friendship with her.

 

“Poor girl.� Kiki quipped was a mocking piteous shake off her head. “Alright no more discussing my impending departure. I hate goodbyes, so - I see you guys brought some movies with you. Let’s watch.�

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

The last US show and Kiki’s last performance on the Justified tour was over. It was sad to see it end, but the situation she was in needed to. Her emotional and mental state was at stake and a person could only take so much.

 

Backstage, it seemed like everyone was lining up to say their goodbyes to her. She lost count of how many people she said bye and gave hugs to. Tori, Gina and Sarah reaffirmed their lunch plans with her for later in their break when they returned to LA after visiting their families. As everyone was scurrying around to get out of there and start their long overdue vacation with an after party at Les Duex, Kiki spotted Trace approaching her through the crowd.

 

“Hey.�

 

“Hi.�

 

“So this is it huh?�

 

“Yup. It’s the end of the road of me.�

 

“Its not gonna be the same.� She nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry Kiki.�

 

“Don’t be, it…it just wasn’t meant to work out.� She shrugged nonchalantly, trying to keep the tears at bay. She didn’t want to think about the way things between her and Justin fell apart.  “But hey you take care of yourself overseas. Don’t get into any trouble.�

 

“Where’s the fun in that.� He grinned devilishly.

 

She laughed briefly followed by a somber sigh. “It was nice getting to know you Tracey.�

 

“You too Kik.� He gave her a grim smile, thinking how unfortunate it was that she and Justin didn’t make it. She really was a great girl for his brother. “Give me a call ever now and again let me know you’re still alive.�

 

“Oh please you’re gonna be too busy manwhoring around Europe.�

 

He shrugged not deny her accusation at all. “What can I say I’m aspiring to be el chulo de todas las naciones.�

 

Kiki cracked up laughing. Trace joined in and for a moment it felt like they could stop. They were finally able to get it under control and Kiki sighed. “You are crazy, you really are Tracey.� He gave her a mocking little bow. “Come here give me a hug.�

 

They embraced each other and then pulled away to start going their separate ways.

 

“I’ll see ya later Kik.�

 

“Yeah see ya.�

 

 

Kiki went back to the dressing room to retrieve her belongings and take a quick shower. She just wanted to go find her family, who had come to the final show, and finally go home. With her luggage dragging behind her, she found her mother, father, Derek and Rhea, and Maya waiting in the meet and greet room with all the other families of the LA native crew members. She’d never been happier to see her family and she wanted so badly to run into her mother’s arms and finally cry her heart out. She kept it together though, at least her tears, but she did rush over to them.

 

“Mamí, Daddy.�

 

Her family turned their attention from mingling with the others in the room towards the door when they hear her voice.

 

Kiki was greeted with smiles and cheers of her name before they engulfed her in hugs and kisses.

 

“You were absolutely beautiful on that stage baby.� Frederick beamed with pride.

 

“And you looked hot hermanita.�

 

“Thanks.� Cause I certainly don’t feel hot.

 

“It’s so good to have you back home.� Nina cupped her face and kissed her cheek.

 

“It’s good to be home. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed again.�

 

“How long is your break?� Derek asked, taking her luggage off her hands.

 

“Uh two weeks.� She lied. Now was definitely not the time to tell them that she was no longer on the tour.

 

“Hey where’s Alex?� Nina asked and Kiki smiled at the sound of her mother’s thick accent that was so familiar and soothing.

 

“I don’t know. Hey Sky!� She called to the other dancer who was getting the same welcome from his family. “Sky this is my family. Family this is Sky Hoffman.�

 

“Nice to meet all of you. I’ve heard a lot about you.�

 

“Sky was Alex still in the dressing room when you left?�

 

“Yeah he should be out soon.�

 

“Thanks. You have a good break.�

 

“You too.� He winked at her and she smiled warmly.

 

“We met you friend Sarah while we were waiting. She seems like a nice girl.�

 

“Yeah everyone on the tour is great. We had a good time working and not working.�

 

“Speaking of which – where’s your boss, Justin.� Maya hint at, a devious smirk on her face.

 

“Yeah we’d love to meet him. Your sister showed me some of his music videos. He’s a very good artist and very handsome.� Nina nudged her and arched her eyebrows. Kiki just smiled uncomfortably.

 

“Yeah he’s mighty fine Kik.� Maya teased and Kiki glared at her. The look didn’t go unnoticeable by her either. What was that all about?

 

“Sorry but Justin’s got a lot of post show press so you won’t be able to meet him.�

 

“Oh that’s too-“

 

“Hey!� Alex loudly made his presence known and Kiki was thankful when everyone’s attention diverted to him.

 

Alex was wrapped up in hugs much like her and once everyone got there fill, they all confirmed that their previous plans for dinner were still a go.

 

As they were walking to the exit, Kiki felt eyes on her and turned around to see Justin watching her.

 

Justin winced at the sight of her when he first came out of his room. He had gone straight there after the show and stayed until he thought everyone was gone so he wouldn’t have to watch Kiki leave him for good. His timing was off, way off, and now he couldn’t take his eyes off of her and her family. He took a good look at them all and could correctly identify her parents – Nina and Frederick, her siblings – Derek and Maya. They were smiling and laughing, obviously happy to have their baby girl and sister home. A deep pang of regret and loss struck him when he remembered that he was supposed to be meeting them and joining them for dinner, for the first of many times.

 

Their eyes stayed locked for what seemed like forever. Sadness, longing and lastly regret passed through that look. They had their chance to be really good together and for each other, but now that chance was gone. They were going in different directions and they probably would never cross paths again.

 

Kiki sat on the table, staring at her fingers as they twiddled together and her legs kicked back and forth from nerves. She had goose bumps all over her body, but that was expected with her paper thin attire and her reason for being there in the first place. After feeling like she’d been waiting for hours, the answer to her question finally walked through the door.

 

“Well Kiki your suspicion was correct. You’re about 7 weeks pregnant.� Her doctor told her.

 

Sure she said she dropped out of the European leg of the tour because she couldn’t deal with Justin anymore, but that was only part of her reason for leaving. The other half had to do with her suspicion that she was pregnant. She had been experiencing nausea, exhaustion and body aches beyond the norm, and then the most telling, her period was late. She’d been on the pill since she was 14 to regulate her cycle and not once had she missed a dose, but she and Justin hadn’t used any other form of protection. She knew she was pregnant, she just needed confirmation and she got it.

 

Breaking out of her reflecting, she asked. “What was um, the date of conception?�

 

“Well according to the date of your last menstruation and the ultrasound, it looks like July 9th.� Kiki let out a vacant laugh. “Sounds familiar?�

 

“Oh yes, that sounds very familiar.� That was their first time making love, her first time. What were the fuckin’ odds of that?

 

“Do you know how you want to handle this?�

 

Seeing as she'd been suspicious of her condition for awhile now, she had thought of her options already, so Kiki didn't hesitate. “Yes I do.�

 

“Ok but just in case I have some information here on all your options and should you decided to keep the baby. I have a prescription for some prenatal vitamins and we can set up your next appointment today.� She passed Kiki a folder full of pamphlets and print outs, and the prescription. �Now its very important…..�

 

Her doctor continued to drone on with her informational speech, but Kiki had stopped listening. She couldn’t think about all that stuff right now. She needed to figure out how she was going to handle this next step in her life.

 

After her appointment, working on auto pilot, Kiki went straight to the pharmacy. She was sitting in her car looking at the transparent orange pill bottles when reality set in. Feeling a mix of fear and happiness, she cried. I’m gonna be a mother, there’s a little person growing inside of me that is totally dependent on me. Looking down at her stomach, she smiled and let out a light-hearted laugh, breaking up her tears. The question didn’t even have to be asked, she was keeping her baby. She always wanted kids, she just never expected it this soon. Still she wanted this and she was mentally, emotionally and financially prepared to be a parent.

 

Thinking about all that motherhood had in store for her, something inside of her lit up. But there was still one major obstacle - telling Justin. Would he be happy too or would he want her to get rid of it? If the latter was the case, then screw him, it wouldn’t damper her joy over this baby and she would have no problem whatsoever being a single mother.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

The next day Kiki walked through the doors of WEG, on a mission to find Justin. She didn’t know where he lived and telling him about the baby was something that should be done in person, not on the phone.

 

“Excuse me Ma’am.� Kiki nervously stood at the information desk. “Can you tell me if Justin Timberlake is in his office and if so where that is?�

 

The woman continued typing away, not bothering to take her eyes off of the computer screen and actually acknowledge Kiki. When she was done, she looking up and sighed condescendingly. “I’m sorry miss, but Justin Timberlake is unavailable. He’s on tour at this time.� When would these girls realize they couldn’t just walk in here and expect Justin to just be handed to them on a silver platter?

 

“No he’s not.� Kiki placed her Justified employee badge on the desk. “I’m part of the tour and last time I checked we were on break. So if he’s here, tell him Kiki Lewis is here to see him. It’s an emergency.�

 

“Oh.� She shrunk down in her seat a little, feeling foolish for getting caught in her lie. “He’s on the fifth floor. I’ll tell him you’re on your way up.� She stuttered, lifting the phone off its hook to make the call.

 

“Thank you.� Kiki shot her a sarcastic grin and turned around to go catch the elevator. She hadn’t seen Justin yet and already she was hyped. She had to stay calm because instinct told her she’d be walking out of this building anything but calm.

 

 

Justin anxiously stood in his office doorway, waiting to greeting Kiki. When the front desk receptionist called to tell him she was on her way up, elation spread through him. He missed her terribly and dreaded going back on tour without her. Knowing she had come to see him, gave him hope. Maybe she was here to give him a second chance or at least come back to the tour. He would gladly take either. He got worried though when the receptionist told him she had some sort of emergency. What had happened to her? Was she okay?

 

Finally Kiki came around the corner from the elevators, and he smiled with relief. She looked okay; in fact she looked great, wearing just a pair of light blue jean and a black leather jacket over a red tank. There wasn’t anything particular about her appearance, but the way she carried herself made her look classy and so damn sexy.

 

“Hey.�

 

“Hi.� He couldn’t contain the cheesy grin on his face. He was so happy to see her and he so badly wanted to hold her, but
kept his distance. “Come on in.� He ushered her into the room, closing the door behind them and offered her a seat on his couch.

 

“What going on? Are you ok baby?� She winced at the endearment and scooted way from him, putting some distance between them.

 

Both actions were not lost on Justin and that hope for a reconciliation was dashed away. But his curiosity was still piqued, if she wasn’t here to get back together then what did she want?

 

Wringing her hands together in her lap, Kiki quickly exhaled and went with it before she lost her nerve. “So okay there’s only one way I can think to tell you this so, um here it goes……I’m pregnant.� Using all her courage, she dared to look at him after making her announcement. All she found was a blank stare and no movement until he removed his arm from the back of the couch and leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees.

 

“Shit.� He groaned into his cupped fist. This was definitely unexpected and he didn’t know what to think right now. “Are you sure?�

 

“Yes my doctor confirmed it yesterday.�

 

“I can’t believe this.� He replied off hand.

 

But Kiki took offense to the comment and sneered. “Well then feel free to call my doctor and she can tell you the exact same thing she told me. And hey while you’re at it, you can schedule a paternity test to make sure it’s yours.� She replied sardonically.

 

“Oh come on Kiki, it was a rhetorical statement, you know that…..And I didn’t say I wasn’t the father did I? I know the baby’s mine okay?� He snapped. “I just thought you were on the pill.� He remembered seeing her take one and before their relationship became sexual, he even teased her about how she didn’t need them since she wouldn’t give him any.

 

“I think we both know the pill doesn’t guarantee anything and we ,stupidly, never used a condom.�

 

Without thinking, he asked. “What are you gonna do about this?�

 

She was taken aback by his question at first. What was she going to do about this? He was bowing out already?! “I’m going to have this baby and I’m going to raise it. The question is will I be doing that alone or with your help?�

 

Justin quickly looked away from her and stared at the carpet. It wasn’t long before his eyes shifted back towards her and ever so slightly, he shook his head. “Kiki, I…I -.�

 

She put her hand up to stop him before he could go any further. She knew his answer, hell she had come here expecting this response. To think she actually felt bad for coming here preconceiving the worse from him when she dropped the news. Well those feelings were a distant memory now that ol’ unreliable Justin was here, meeting all her expectations.

 

“Enough said. It’s fine. Whatever. I am more than capable of doing this by myself.�

 

She got up to leave and he rose from his seat as well to stop her. “Kiki wait. You gotta understand.� He grabbed her arm and turned her around. “I can’t…I don’t have room in my life for a baby. My career is really taking off. I can’t be a father right now.�

 

“Right now?� She jerked out of his grasp, in disbelief that he really said that. “Then when Justin? When this baby is grown with its own family? Do you think you’ll be ready then?� Her sarcasm hit him like a well deserved jab. “You think I’m ready? I’m scared to death, but I’m going to do this because this is my child. I have to be strong for my baby’s sake. You? You can go on and continue to be a fucking coward. I don’t care. Go and have your fabulous untarnished career. We don’t need you.�

 

“I just can’t be a father now.� He sighed in defeat. A kid didn’t fit into his busy life, he couldn’t dedicated the kind of time it took to take care of one. Yes, he wanted kids, just not now.

 

“Fine. Fine.� She wrote him off with the flick of her hands. Her fingers curled around the door knob in preparation to leave, but she stopped herself and turned back to him. “Oh, in case you were concerned. You don’t have to worry about me coming after you for child support or blabbing to the press. I don’t need or want your damn money. And I have no plans to tell anyone that someone like you is the father of MY baby.� She jerked the door open and stormed out of the room without a backwards glance. She was done with Justin Timberlake.

 

 

 

That definitely did it, Justin thought, if she didn’t hate him already she certainly did now. He just rejected their child and in the back of his mind he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Why was he letting it happen? Because Kiki was right – he was a coward and he was selfish. He wasn’t ready to give up his life to raise a kid. He knew what kind of responsibility that required, responsibility that he was not capable of committing to. And what if having a baby ruined his career? He’d ended up blaming the kid and that wasn’t fair. So it was best if he wasn’t around, he reasoned. They both would be better off without him.

 

All the way to the parking lot Kiki was heated. She never would have fallen in love with Justin if she knew that she had been dead wrong about him and that in his heart of hearts he really was a selfish asshole. Why was she always falling for the wolf in sheep’s clothing?

 

In her car, she took a moment to calm down, it wasn’t healthy for her or the baby to be all wound up like this. As her anger died down it was replace with overwhelming heartache and she broken down crying. She had hoped that Justin would step up to the plate and want to take an activate part in raising their child. How could he do this again, walk away when there was someone else even more important than her involved?  Sure she would survive the hurt he caused, but what about her child, an innocent baby who didn’t ask to be conceived. A baby she would move mountains to make sure he or she was loved and well cared for despite Justin’s absence. Her baby would not pay for his cowardice.

 

Right in that parking lot, Kiki gave herself and her baby a good cry for the wrong done to them. It would take some time to get past this new addition to her heartache, but she was going to move on. For both their sakes.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Since she was still "on break" and not back to working at Key, Kiki used her vacation time to plan the arrival of her baby. She started researching information on nutritional needs, changes she would have to make in her everyday lifestyle, suggested exercise regimens and Lamaze classes. She meticulously wrote out a game plan for how she was going to prepare for her baby’s gestation and arrival which included a list of questions she had to ask her doctor at her first obstetrics appointment. All the information she was absorbing was making her so excited about being pregnant. She was constantly rubbing her belly and looking at herself naked in the mirror to see if there were any noticeable changes in her body. There were a few, her hips seemed to be flaring slightly and her breasts were a bit fuller but her stomach was still flat, no paunch yet. She wondered how big she would get, would she have to buy maternity clothes or could she wear the clothes she had just altered a bit? All she did know was that she was truly happy about becoming a mother.

 

However when she ran across some information on pregnancies for fathers she became depressed. Her baby wouldn’t have a daddy to come with her to Lamaze or talk to her belly so it would know his voice once they were born. It wasn’t fair, why couldn’t her baby have a father that loved them enough to stick around. The more she thought about it the more upset she became and she needed someone to talk to about all this. She had yet to talk about anything that happened with Justin let alone this new development in her life.

 

Her parents were out of the question, she wasn’t ready to tell them yet. Derek? No way, he’d flip out and then go straight to their parents and blab. Maya! Her big sister. That’s who she could tell. Like when they were younger, Kiki needed her big sister to share her pain and secrets with. Maya would listen to her and be the shoulder she needed to lean on, without passing judgment.

 

It was the middle of the afternoon, she was probably busy at the fashion house, but maybe she had some time to calm her baby sister a little.

 

“Maya.� The receptionist called her over to the front desk as she was passing by to get to her office. “You have a call on line four. Its Kiki and she didn’t sound too good.� She told her discreetly.

 

Maya hurried to her office at that, give Janice a passing ‘thank you� for the heads up. She closed her door and quickly picked up the line.

 

“Hermanita what’s wrong?�

 

“My, are you busy? Can you take a break or something and come over?� Her sister’s voice was so dejected. What had made her so sad?

 

“Honey what’s wrong?�

 

“I just need you to come over. Please?�

 

“Absolutely I’ll be right there.� She was already pulling her purse out of her desk drawer and shutting down her computer.

 

"Thanks Maya the Bee.�

 

She hung up and swiftly finished packed up her office. Forget a break, she would take a half a day, her baby sister needed her. Telling the receptionist she was taking the afternoon off, she left the office and got into her car, driving towards West LA.

 

She had a key to her sister’s place so she didn’t bother to knock and just let herself in.

 

“Kik where are you?�

 

“I’m up here.� She called from her plateaued den.

 

Climbing the small set of steps, she found her sister sitting in the couch, her legs crossed and holding a throw pillow to her chest. She could see that physically nothing was wrong with Kiki, thank God, but she was clearly upset. She seemed rather sullen, not like her typical upbeat self.

 

“What’s wrong Kik? You got me worried here honey.� She dropped her purse on the floor in front of the couch and sat down next to her.

 

Kiki just gestured to her open laptop on the coffee table. Maya looked at it and saw What to Expect headlining the internet window.

 

“I’m pregnant.� She announced.

 

Maya reeled back at her with wide eyes. “You finally had sex?!�

 

“Maya.� Kiki admonished.

 

“Sorry. It’s just…you were a virgin. Now you’re obviously not and you’re pregnant. It’s a little surprising.� Kiki gave her a "no duh� look and then Maya blurted out again. “When did you have sex? I mean who’s the fa- Ooooh. Oh my gawh. Justin is the father?!�

 

“Yup.�

 

Maya frowned. “Didn’t you guys use protection?�

 

“Just the pill which obvious didn’t work. I know it was stupid. I got tested though I don’t have any thing, just a baby.� She joked wryly.

 

“What are you going to do?�

 

“I’m going to keep my baby and raise it by myself.�

 

Having a feeling about where this was headed, Maya’s eyebrows rose and she asked for clarification. “By yourself?�

 

“He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby.�

 

“Are you serious? How the hell can he abandoned is girlfriend when she’s pregnant with his baby?�

 

“I’m not his girlfriend anymore. We broke up before the tour ended. He um… he cheated and that was that.� She shrugged trying to ward off the pain that was trying to resurface. “Another one broke my heart.�

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay? I mean this has got to be hard for you. First he hurts you like that and then snubs your baby. What a bastard! How could he do this?� Maya ranted getting angrier as she thought about what Justin was doing to her family.

 

“He didn’t trust me and instead of being upfront about it, he destroyed our relationship.� Kiki summed up the demise of their relationship briefly. She really didn’t want to get into that right now, so she went to the other issue at hand. “As far as the baby goes - he says he’s not ready to be a father, he's a coward.� She scoffed. “Which isn’t a legitimate excuse to me. I’m afraid too, I’m overjoyed to be having a baby, but at the same I’m scared. I’m supposed to be. This is a whole new world I’m stepping into, but I’m not backing down. I’d rather be afraid while I’m experiencing motherhood than regret that I gave it up.�

 

“That is so pitiful. He’s going to have his conscience weighing down on him for the rest of his life. Meanwhile you and your baby….� Maya smiled and reached over to rub her stomach.  “You’re going to be thriving and happy doing it.�

 

Kiki smiled feeling her spirits and confidence lift. “Yeah, I think we are. He made his choice and I can’t force him to be a father so I’m done worrying about him. I can’t, not with this baby who’s ten times more important.�

 

‘You’re strong Kiki. I know you can do this. You have our fam- Ooh Mamí and Daddy don’t know do they?� Maya grimaced. Boy was she happy she wasn’t the one that was going to have to tell their parents she was pregnant and by a deadbeat.

 

 “No they don’t and I’m not telling them until I’ve processed this all myself.� She needed to prepare herself in case their parents weren’t as supportive as she hoped and needed them to be. “They’re going to ask a lot of questions.�

 

“Yeah one of which being - who’s the daddy. Are you going to tell them?

 

“Yes but it’s going to have to be one of those deep dark family secrets that no one talks about.� She stressed. “No on can find out who the father of my baby is Maya.�

 

She nodded, understanding that if people found out, Kiki and the baby would become tabloid fodder.

 

“I can’t even tell Tami and Alex right now. Alex still has to work with Justin for 4 more months and he already despises him.� He would probably try to kill Justin if she told him and she wouldn’t be there to stop him this time. “Tami: she and Joey are really happy and I don’t want this to put a rift in between them if they feel like they have to choose sides.�

 

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. I can’t imagine Joey or Josh being too happy with Justin when they do find out.�

 

“Well until I start showing this stays in our family.�

 

“I’m right here for you hermanita, so will Mamí, Daddy and Derek once you tell them.� Maya assured, but then on second thought she winced. “Oh geez Daddy and Derek are gonna want to kill Justin.� But then it dawned on her and turned her frown into a devilish grin. “Actually I think I’d enjoy being front row to see that, popcorn in hand.�

 

They giggled together and Kiki leaned over to hug her sister. “I love you My.�

 

“I love you too.� She pulled away and started squealing when it really set in. “You’re gonna be a mommy!�

 

“You’re gonna be an auntie!�

 

She gasped. “I am aren’t I? Oh I gotta start making her or him clothes.� All kinds of ideas for cute little baby outfits were running through her head; however, the baby wasn’t the only person who needed a new wardrobe. “Oh we gotta go shopping for you. Let’s go now. Only if you’re up to it though.�

 

“I probably should get out of the house.� Sitting here all alone, moping was not doing her any good. This was a happy time in her life and she wasn’t going to let anything or one bring her down. “Okay let’s go.�

 

“Yay! I know exactly what’s in now for maternity wear. You are going to be the cutest pregnant woman in LA.�

 

Kiki was barely able to slid her flips flops on and grab her purse before Maya was dragging her out of her apartment.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

The end of her “break� was drawing near and sooner or later Kiki would have to tell the rest of her family that not only was she not going back on tour, but that they were going to have a new addition to the family. Nina had been cooking family dinners almost every day since she’d been back and one night in particular Kiki felt it was time to tell the truth. So far she had been very quiet throughout dinner, trying to decide how to broach the topic.

 

Hey can someone pass the string beans please. Oh and by the way – I’m having a baby!

 

That was not going to work. She wasn’t sure what would, but it had to happen tonight. Regardless of the outcome, keeping this news to herself would only cause stress that she did not need, especially now. Plus Alex wasn’t in town, he’d gone back to New York to check on his apartment and visit some friends. It would put her in a tough spot if she didn’t say anything and then they realized she wasn’t shipping off with him. The questions would definitely be flying then and so would the fist when Alex found out about Justin’s latest blow to his best friend.

 

“Kiki you’ve been awfully quiet tonight. Is everything okay?�

 

At her side, Maya threw a look at her and she nodded subtly. It was time to tell them.

 

“I’m fine, but um I have something to tell all of you." She took a deep breath as she waited for everyone to turn their attention to her. "I know you think I’m going back on the tour next week, but I’m not.�

 

“What? Why not?� Nina asked in general concern. Kiki was being very calm and collective so she wasn’t alarmed over anything that might be wrong.

 

“Because I choose not to continue on to Europe.� They didn’t have to ask why, the question was written on all there faces, so she pressed on. “Some things happened and I can’t exactly do my job on the tour anymore. I um..� She exhaled and revealed. “I’m having a baby.� The whole time she kept her head high and made eye contact with each person sitting around the table. She wasn’t ashamed that she was having a baby so she wasn’t going to act like she was.

 

The room was silent as everyone took in everything she just admitted. Maya grabbed her hand and together they braced themselves for whatever was coming.

 

“How did this happen?�

 

“I think we all took Health Pop.� Frederick glared at Derek and Rhea smacked his arm, but he only shrugged. They really didn’t need the specifics.

 

Kiki made it cut and dry and told them. “I started dating a guy who was on tour with me and we fell in love. I was going to introduce him to you all when break started, but we broke up before that could happen and in the middle of all that I got pregnant. I’m keeping my baby and that’s that.�

 

Since her announcement Nina had been watching Kiki closely, just sitting back, listening and observing. There was something that her daughter was still holding back. Who was the father, this man that she fell in love with and was so serious about at one time that she was going to introduce him into the family? A memory of Kiki’s expression when she inquired about one young man in particular came to Nina and she knew who the father was. “It was your dance partner, the musician, Justin. He the one isn’t he? Your ex boyfriend? He’s the father.�

 

Kiki looked at her mother and the answer was right there in her face for all to see.

 

“Oh man.� Derek said out loud. This spelled nothing, but drama. His baby sister was pregnant by not just any ol’ celebrity, but one of the big names in the Hollywood game. Her life and the baby’s were going to be a circus.

 

“Now that you all know that Justin is the father, every single one of you has to keep your mouth shut about it. No one can know the truth.� Kiki had leaned into the table and she had a look on her face that demanded their secrecy.

 

“Why not and where is this boy? How is he going to be there for you and the baby when he’s flying out of the country next week and who knows where after that?� This situation just became a confusing mess to Nina. Her daughter was being so adamant that the father of the baby be kept a secret.

 

Well here comes the second bomb she needed to drop - the one that was going to send them all into a tizzy. “He has chosen not to be a part of the baby’s life so I’m going to be a single mother.�

 

Both Derek and Frederick immediately exclaimed in unison. “What?!�

 

Frederick went a step further and got out of his seat to pace. His youngest was having a child and the man responsible for creating a life with her was snubbing his responsibility? His anger and his blood pressure were climbing and he had to get up and move before he exploded.

 

“What do you mean he’s chosen not to be in the baby’s life? He doesn’t have a choice!� Derek yelled. He’d be damned in some punk ass left his sister high and dry.

 

“Yes he does. Hell I have a choice, but I want my baby. I want to be a mother, but he doesn’t want to be a father and I can’t make him so that’s that. I have to be strong and do this myself and I damn sure am going to do just that!� She was getting mad now. Like always her father and brother were getting too hyped about a situation in her life that they had no control over. She needed them to be calm and give her support, not get out of sorts over worthless bullshit.

 

That temper of Kiki’s was flaring and in her condition that was not good. Maya sat next to her rubbing her back, trying to bring her stress levels back down while Nina was playing mediator.

 

“Ok cada uno calma abajo. Derek, cállate. And Freddy, you sit down. Your sister and your daughter does not need the two of you flying off the handle.� Derek complied without a second thought, but Frederick stayed put, he was still too hot to sit. “Kiki is right, she can’t force him to take responsibility for this child. It's out of her hands, it’s out of any of our hands.�

 

“To hell it’s out of her hands. She’ll file for child support.�

 

“No I won’t.� There he went again trying to dictate her life. It wasn’t going to happen, especially now that she was pregnant. This was her baby and no one was going to tell her how to raise it. “I don’t need his money. You know better than anyone that I make more than enough to raise a child, but more importantly Daddy. What do you think is going to happen if I go to city hall and admit into public record that Justin Timberlake is the father of my baby?� That stopped Frederick's fuming and pacing. He knew the deal, there would be “photographers all over this house, my house, the club, every step me and the baby took someone would be pushing a camera in our faces. Everything about us would be all over every magazine and newspaper in the world. I’m going to do whatever I can to prevent that, especially under these circumstances. I’m not going to let my child be humiliated by letting their own father’s rejection be made public knowledge.� Kiki emphasized. This wasn’t about her or anyone else. It wasn’t about the principle behind child support or about her swallowing her pride. This was about protecting her child. “I can do this by myself, but it would be nice if I knew my family was there for me.�

 

Kiki put her head down and her hand across her forehead. She was drained. All she wanted was for this dinner to be over so she could move on and take care of herself and her baby.

 

“You’re not going to be alone in this.� Frederick broke the silent that had taken over the room as everyone digested Kiki’s words. “We’re Lewises. Mantenemos unidos.� He moved over to Kiki’s side and knelt down next to you. “I know you can do this on your own. You can do anything. It’s just that I love you. You’re my daughter and now you’re carrying my grandchild and I don’t like knowing that you both are being disrespected. But I understand why you’re doing this and it is your life, your baby, so it’s your choice. I’m still going to be right here for you. We all are.� He looked to everyone else around the table and they were nodding their heads, Derek gave Kiki a reassuring wink. “And unless you say otherwise, everything said at this table, stays at this table. Are we all clear on that?� Frederick asked in a stern voice that held no room for discussion.

 

“Yes.� Was the collective answer.

 

Kiki had tears in her eyes at this point. She was looking at her family who always had her back no matter what and she was so grateful for that right now. She would have done it, but she didn’t want have her baby without them there to experience this happy moment with her. “Thank you, all of you. Thank you Daddy.� She leaned down and hugged him tight. “I love you all.�

 

“You’re welcome baby. I love you always.� He pulled away and kissed her on the forehead. Kiki was sniffling as she shed a few tears and Frederick helped her wipe them away. “So. I’m gonna be a grandpa huh?�

 

She smiled brightly. “Yup.�

 

“Cool.� He and Kiki laughed together.

 

At this point, Nina couldn’t contain it anymore. “And I’m going to be a grandma! Oh!� She jumped out of her seat and scurried over to Kiki, wrapping her up in a big hug. “Oh hijita I’m so happy for you. How far along are you?� She had pushed her husband out of her way to take his place. Kiki laughed thinking that her mother would probably be pushed people out of her way to get to her and the baby from this day on.

 

“I’m almost 2 month.�

 

“Oh. Oh. My baby’s having a baby.� She whined and started crying for joy.

 

Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes, here came the waterfalls better known as Nina’s tears. Someone needed to give her some alcohol. Now….

 

 

Dinner was over, the dining room table was cleared, and the guys were in the den watching basketball. Maya and Rhea were in there with them while Kiki had volunteered to help Nina wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen.

 

Nina was busy rambling about all the things they had to do to prepare for the baby. She was so excited and Kiki was so happy about that, but her mind was elsewhere. She still had something nagging at her heart, not her head, and she was glad to have this moment alone with her mother. It was time to get the comfort only a mother could provide.

 

Kiki stopped washing down the counter and turned to her mother standing at the sink, elbow deep in soapy water. “Mamí.�

 

“Yes hijita.�

 

She stood there not saying anything and Nina turned to look at her. Her mother stopped and dropped the cup she’d been washing back into the water. Kiki’s eyes were filled with tears and her chin was trembling. Something was terribly wrong with her baby. “My heart is broken.� She sobbed.

 

“Oh baby.� Sudsy hands and all Nina pulled her daughter into her arms. “Oh baby. I’m so sorry.�

 

“It hurts so much.� She finally admitted. She’d been keeping this in for so long, feeling it would be a sign of weakness if she broke down. Now that she did, she felt like she couldn’t stop.

 

Nina could feel her child’s pain like it was her own. She knew what a broken heart was like and she could kill that boy for doing this to her child. Taking Kiki over to the kitchen table she sat her down and knelt in front of her on the floor, her arms still around her, rubbing her back soothingly. “Shh hijita. It’s going to be okay. You’ll get through this.�

 

Just then Maya and Rhea came into the room laughing, Nina was facing them as she held Kiki and she shook her head, telling them to leave the room. The two girls could hear Kiki crying so they took the hint and backed out of the room. It was obvious she was breaking down and with everything she was dealing with it was bound to happen. They were just going to leave her to get the comfort she needed from Nina, but if she needed it from them too they would be right there.

 

Alone again, Nina pulled away and brushed Kiki’s fallen hair and tears out of her face. “Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Justin?�

 

Sniffling and accepting the napkin her mother handed to her, she wiped her nose and then for the next few minutes, told her the entire tale of her and Justin. From their crazy, yet beautiful rise to their sad and unfortunate fall. “I thought he was it you know. We might not have known each other that long, but it was really good with him.� Propping her elbow on the table, she rubbed her tired eyes and sighed.

 

Nina got off her knees and sat on the chair adjacent to her. “I’m sorry baby. I know the ache you're feeling, but I promise you that it will get better.� She hated seeing her like this, but thankfully it would pass with time.

 

“I know that Mamí. I just want to get over it so I can put my main focus on the baby. I am going to be just fine though.� She smiled at her mother, a small, but real smile and Nina knew she really would get pass her heartache. She knew she had three very strong and determined children who would prevail through every hardship and challenge life threw their way.

 

To keep her spirits up, Nina made a suggestion. “How about some half baked ice cream? Double scoop.�

 

“Sound good.�

 

“Alright, coming right up.� Nina got out of her seat, and as she walked to the fridge, she dropped a kiss on top of Kiki’s head. “Love you baby.�

 

“Love you too.�

 

Kiki watched her mother preparing her dessert and felt a sense of peace fall over her. This night was a stressful one, but in the end when the dust cleared and it was just as it always had been. Her family was still right there surrounding her with love and support and she felt like regardless of Justin or anything else that might try to bring her down. Everything would be okay for her and her baby.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Sitting in her office, Kiki was busy getting the fall group fitness schedule organized when her cell phone started ringing. “Hello.�

 

“Hey Kiki its Joey.�

 

“Oh hey, what’s up?�

 

“Well I was wondering if you could call Tami. I called your mom and she's in an appointment with a client so she can't come over right now and I know Maya’s busy with the show coming up, so that makes you the most accessible at the moment.�

 

On alert and almost in a panic, Kiki quickly asked. “What’s wrong, did something happen to her?�

 

“She had breakfast with her mom earlier today and of course it didn’t go well, but I think it was really bad this time. Like ‘I have no future plan to talk to you ever again’ bad.�

 

“Oh shit. What the fuck is wrong with that woman? Why can she just be a decent mother to Tami for once?�

 

“I know. We talked about it, but I think she needs her family right now.�

 

“Ok uh give me like 20 minutes and I’ll be right over.�

 

“What do you mean you’ll be right over? Why aren’t you in Europe?�

 

Kiki winced remembering he and Tami didn’t know what was going on yet. Well it looked like she would have to give them half of the story, for now at least. Even though she hated keeping things from her best friend, like Joey, Tami would have to wait for the paunch to make an appearance so she could keep the peace. “I dropped out of the second leg. I was just too exhausted to go on.�

 

“Oh that’s too bad. J must be bummed.�

 

“Yeah.� Her answer was laced with sarcasm that he luckily missed. Justin was probably living it up overseas, screwing everything that walked. Shaking that disturbing thought off, she turned the conversation back to Tami. “Like I said I’ll be over in a bit.�

 

“Ok. See you soon.�

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After ringing the door bell, Kiki didn’t have to wait long before Joey let her in. “Whoa. Nice house.� She said as she took off her sunglasses and looked around the foyer.

 

“Thanks. I’ll give you a tour later.�

 

“Great. That’ll be nice after we fix whatever that bitch did this time.� She growled.

 

“Tell me about it. I knew I shouldn’t have let her go without me.�

 

“Don’t blame yourself. Débora Ramirez is just a sorry ass excuse of a mother.�

 

“Thank God Tami has you guys.�

 

“Yeah and it’s looking like she’s lucky to have you too now.� She nudged him and he smiled shyly. He loved that girl, there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. “By the way, very cool of you to activate the family tree. You’re learning how to be Lewis fabulously.�

 

He smirked cockily. “I do my best.� They both laughed as Joey led her over to the den doors. “She’s in there.�

 

“Alright. Thanks.�

 

“Oh and I know you’re too bad ass to get tired and quit. So when you’re done I wanna know why you really dropped out of the tour.� He was quirking an eyebrow at her as if he already knew what had gone down, but she knew Justin wouldn’t dare tell anyone the things that he’d done. He was too image conscious to air his own dirty laundry to anyone.

 

Keeping her wit in check to hopefully throw Joey off if he was thinking she left for any reason concerning Justin, she quipped, saucily. “Well you said it: I was just too bad ass for them to handle.� Leaving him to his own devices, she entered the room and found Tami curled up on the overstuffed couch watching People’s Court.

 

“You better not be crying cause the Tami Monté I know doesn’t cry over evil heifas like Débora Ramirez.�

 

Tami had turned around as soon as she heard Kiki speak and boy was she glad to have her family here. “What are you doing here? What happened to Europe?�

 

“Oh that doesn’t matter right now.� Kiki plopped down on the couch next to her and pulled her best friend into a hug. “What matters is, are you okay? What happened?�

 

Tami scoffed and picked up the remote to turn the TV down. “The same thing that always happens only this time she claimed she didn’t need my ‘sorry ass’ anyway so I wouldn’t have to worry about her coming around anymore.� She sneered. “Good. Like I really need her.�

 

Kiki snorted. That woman had some nerve. She barely did shit to raise Tami and she was cutting her off. What a whack job. “What did you ‘do’ this time?�

 

“She wanted to borrow money and I said no. I wasn’t going to give her any so she could just waste it in the casino. She’s got a problem and I’m not about to help support it.� Débora had gone from hopping from man to man, to hopping from slot machine to slot machine. She gave so much attention to so many unimportant people and things but, she passed her own daughter by each time. “Then she goes on and on about how she was my mother and she was the one I should be loyal to not that woman who took me away from her.� Both girls rolled their eyes. Despite the fact that if it hadn’t been for Nina and Frederick there was no telling what would have happened to Tami, Débora never liked them. The years of neglect she inflicted on Tami was always everyone’s fault, but hers. It was seriously time to take that broken record off the turn table. “She stormed out after her little tantrum. I say good riddance. She may be the woman who gave birth to me but that’s as far as the connection has ever gone.�

 

“I’m sorry Tams.� Whether she needed her or not it had to be hard having a parent that always treated you like a second thought. It looked like her baby and their Auntie Tami would have a lot in common in that department.

 

Tami shrugged. “It’s ok. I was upset at first, but I’m over it now. I can’t stress over her and her endless problems.�

 

“Well I’m glad you’re not letting her get to you anymore.�

 

“No. Those days are over with.� She was done worrying herself sick over someone who really didn’t give a damn about her. She had her own life to live. Not to mention, there were other people in her life who truly cared for and loved her. “So subject change – what the hell are you still doing in LA?�

 

Kiki laughed uncomfortably. “Oh that’s a story and a half. I’m sure you don’t wanna hear it.�

 

“Yeah I do actually. You’re drama will take my mind off of mine.�

 

Kiki looked at her best friend and she knew she couldn’t not tell her. Tami was family, her sister and it didn’t feel right to tell one while keeping the other in the dark. When she told her secrets to Maya, Tami was usually right there to keep them as well. It might put her in the position to have to hide the truth from Joey, but Tami would want to know if she was going through anything major.

 

“If you’re sure.� Tami nodded, anxious to know what was going on. “I’m pregnant.�

 

Her eyes widened in shock before she beamed. “Oh my gawh. Oh chica. You’re smiling so I’m guessing this is a good thing?� Kiki nodded excitedly and the two embraced again. “Oh I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy for you and Justin.�

 

Kiki’s smile fell and with a scoff she corrected her. “Oh no. Just be happy for me, not for him.�

 

“Uh oh. Why not? What happened?�

 

“Well….� Once again Kiki told the story as she watched Tami’s face twist into disbelief and anger.

 

“That fucker. I can’t believe him. It’s one thing to break your heart like that, but he took it to another fucked up level to abandon his own child.�

 

“What?!�

 

Both girls whipped their heads to the side to see Joey standing in the doorway. All twined together they could see he was confusion, in disbelief, but mostly angry.

 

Joey hadn’t been eavesdropping the whole time, but he could only sit in the kitchen trying to distract himself for so long. He was worried about his girl and he wanted to make sure she wasn’t placating him by telling him she was okay when she really wasn’t. He had crept to the sliding den doors that connected the room to the kitchen and opened them a crack. What he heard surprised him. The way Justin had talked about her, he thought his friend was in love with Kiki. He couldn’t believe he had done that to her, but apparent that was just the beginning.

 

“There’s no way he did that. Justin would never do something that shitty.�

 

“I have no reason to lie about it Joey.�

 

Taking a moment to regroup from this shock Joey corrected himself. “I know. I’m not saying you are. I can’t imagine you would lie like that. I just can’t believe he would stoop this low.� Justin was no angel by any means, but Joey always thought he was at least man enough to take responsibility for his actions. He couldn’t imagine what his friend was thinking. “I’m gonna go call him.�

 

Kiki jumped out of her seat. “No! No. You can’t say anything to him about this.�

 

“Are you crazy? You’re one of my friends, he’s one of my best friends. I’m not going to sit back while he screws you and himself over like this.�

 

“I know Joey, but I am asking you to not say anything to him or anyone else for that matter. This is a family secret, you knowing about this baby has included you into our family and you don’t tell family business. You cannot say anything about this baby. Please Joey.�

 

“Joey.� Tami implored from the sideline. The least he could do was stay quiet for her.

 

Looking at both girls who wore pleading eyes, Kiki’s bordering on desperate, there was no way he couldn’t do what they were asking him to. “Alright.� He conceded. “I won’t say anything to him….But don’t expect me to be nice if I see that little shit in public.�

 

Kiki smiled and gave him a hug while Tami walked over to give him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you Joey.�

 

“Sure.� As hard as it would be to stay quiet, he was a sucker for making two beautiful women happy. Looking at Kiki, he gently poked her in the stomach. “I’m cooking lunch. How about you and the booger join us and then I’ll take you on that tour?�

 

“Pregnant or not I never turn down food.�

 

He chuckled. “Alright both of you come on then. It’s almost done.�

 

Walking behind him, Kiki and Tami linked arms. “Nice catch Miss Monté. He cooks and it looks like he’s got a little junk in the trunk.�

 

“He most certainly does.�

 

“Hey!� Joey chastened them and the two broke out in giggles.

 

By the time Kiki was five months along, she was noticeably pregnant and her life had changed tremendously in that time. One of the biggest differences was her work load. Sadly she had to cut back to only coaching instead of demonstrating and performing the routines she taught in her classes. Of course when she went on maternity leave, close to her eighth month, a sub would be assigned to take over her classes full time and her office work would be divided between the other managers. And speaking of her co-workers, specifically her best friend....

 

Marissa and Trent were added to the group of people who knew the whole truth behind her Justin/baby drama. None of her friends were stupid so she didn’t have to tell the couple he was the father and of course they swore to her their secrecy. It really affirmed the sense of security she had in her friends and family, knowing that she could share her happy, yet very private business with the ones she loved and trusted.

 

As far as everyone else around her - the rest of her co-workers, associates, members at the club and even neighbors - when they asked if she was having a baby she never denied it. She was genuinely happy and proud of being pregnant and she didn’t care who knew. Of course they then inquired about her boyfriend, the father, and she simply told them that he was no longer around. That only led to more gossip and rumors flying around, especially at gossip central – Key West. Half the people who actually approached her gave her genuine congratulations, but the other half congratulated her and then turned around and talked about her. Kiki could care less, she was just relieved that no one had any real suspicions that Justin was the father. Given how far along she was, it was obvious she had gotten pregnant while on tour. But she later found out from Marissa who had overheard a conversation among some members that - thanks to a little bit of ironic luck - because of his “mystery girl�, initial assumptions that Justin was the father had luckily been nixed.

And hey, what about Justin?

The tour ended in December, he was no doubt back in town, but surprise, surprise, not a single attempt to get in contact with Kiki. She felt so dumb for actually hoping he would have a change of heart and make room for the baby in his life. She felt even worse when she cried over it. How she loathed to admit that he still got to her, but given the situation she figured she’d always be saddened by the way he treated her and disregarded their child. So she shed a few tears whenever she was down in the dumps, but she wiped them away and went on with her life.

 

The end of the tour also brought Alex back to LA to visit the family. Naturally he was floored when he saw her protruding belly. He knew most of the background story more than anyone else so Kiki really didn’t have to tell him much other than Justin’s response to the baby news. Alex was pissed, at Justin, not Kiki for keeping the secret from him. He understood and agreed that he would have seriously gotten into it with Justin and probably gotten himself kicked off the tour if he had known before hand. Alex was family so she didn’t even have to ask him to stay quiet, it was already known. He did swear to Kiki that whatever she needed and whenever she needed it, he would be right there. He even stayed longer in LA before he went back home to start back at the dance company he worked for.

 

And last but not least, JC became the final member of the super secret baby society. He had been in New York since before Kiki came back to LA, producing some new talent that Jive had signed, completely out of the loop.

 

Everyone was at Joey’s for a little birthday get together they were having for Trent. JC had come by to catch up with Joey and was not expecting to see a very pregnant Kiki walk into the entertainment room.

 

“Um don’t hit me ok, I know weight is a sensitive subject for woman, but that’s not fat.� He pointed to her stomach.

 

“Don’t worry Josh. I am what the doctors call pregnant, with child, in the family way. However you wanna refer to it, I fit the bill.�

 

“Wow, you know I always said it would be either you or J who had the first kid.� He smirked as Joey sneered. They were the biggest players in the group back in the day. “I can’t believe this. Why am I obviously the last to know? Why didn’t J tell me?� He thought he would have been one of the first people Justin told.

 

“He hasn’t told anyone C.� Joey informed him.

 

“Why not?�

 

“Why do you think?� Kiki glared at him knowingly and he got the hint.

 

“No, he wouldn’t do something like that.�

 

“Well he did.� Kiki replied smartly.

 

“He abandoned his kid?� He fumed and looked at everyone sitting in the room and none of them wore expressions that refuted what he was coming to realize. "What the fuck it wrong with him? How did he rationalize this? Have you talked to him?� He was bouncing questions from Kiki to Joey trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his best friend was uncaring and selfish enough to rejection his own child.

 

“He’s called me a few times since he got back, but I haven't answered. I don’t have a thing to say to him and there’s nothing he can say, there’s no excuse for this. I don’t want anything to do with it.� Joey shook his head frowning. “I mean how can I watch his kid grow up without him one minute and then go chill with him the next like its nothing. Nuh uh.� To associate himself with Justin right now made Joey feel like an accomplice. His friend was walking down this path without him.

 

“Someone’s gotta talk to him.�

 

“Well its not going to be either one of you.� Kiki butted in. This was really none of their business in the first place. “What’s going on with me and Justin has nothing to do with yours and Joey’s friendships with him. You don’t have to choose sides.� She left like she was pitting friends against friends and that's not what she ever intended.

 

“Oh that’s bullshit right there. This is not about choosing sides. How the hell can we be friends with him, trust him when he can so easily betray his own kid. That means he could turn on us in a heartbeat.� Joey nodded in agreement. He never thought of that, but JC had a point there. “Bottom line: what he’s doing if fucked up Kiki.�

 

“That doesn’t mean you have to say anything.� God maybe she should have left LA or something. This was causing more drama than she wanted to deal with.

 

“I’m not going to smile and cheese in his face that’s for sure.� JC finally sat down now that he had calmed. Processing this news shocker, it dawned on him. “Oh shit I have studio time scheduled with him next week.�

 

“Oh God. Josh-“

 

He held his hands up in compliance. “I can’t promise that I won’t say anything Kiki, but I’ll try. That’s all I can give you.�

 

Kiki had a feeling he’d try for like two seconds and then all hell was going to break loose in that studio. JC seemed very angry and disappointed in Justin which didn’t shock her. Justin had told her how he and JC were more like brothers than friends. She hoped he was ready to face one of the consequences for this choice he made.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

It was over. His first solo tour was now complete and was a hit both in the US and across the pond. Too bad he didn’t feel like a hit, he felt like shit actually, he was just good at covering it up. Europe was a miserable place for Justin. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about Kiki or miss her in every aspect of his life. He longed to see her smiling face pop through his dressing room door or hear her soothing voice when he was stressed or frustrated. Sleeping by his self still was hard to do, he still reach out for her at night. And at work – well her replacement, Michele, was a good dancer, but she wasn’t Kiki. They didn’t have that same working chemistry to pull off the same act that he and Kiki had. Still it was good enough to make each show a success at the end of the night, it just didn’t leave him with the same thrill that performing with Kiki had. All around life had dimmed for Justin without her.

 

And oh yeah – the baby. He really couldn’t forget that one and the guilt almost ate him up from the inside. He remembered one day he was out shopping in London and it seemed like every mother and their baby were out that day. He tried to ignore it, but the sight and sounds of those little lives eventually became too much for him and he went back to his hotel as fast as he could. That night at the after party, he drank so much he forgot most of that evening including who the two girls he woke up in bed with were. It wasn’t the best remedy, but drowning his sorrow in alcohol and women kept those voices in the back of his head quiet whenever they got too loud. Besides he figured he’d screwed himself bad enough as is, might as well keep going.

 

Now he was back in LA and being a drunk and a womanizer wasn’t that easy to hide from the American public eye so he had to tame his habits a little. There was no tour to keep him occupied during the day so he went into the studio. Maybe he could start a new album up while he was coping, his music was the only real thing he had anymore anyway. He found out from Johnny that JC was back in LA after doing one hell of a job producing some new talent that Jive had signed. He called his friend up and they scheduled some studio time only a week after his return. Being in a studio with one of his best friends was much more appealing than being in his big empty house.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The day arrived when Justin and JC had their scheduled studio time and while one of them was looking forward to it, the other was dreading it. Still they had paid for the time already so JC knew it had to be done. He decided he would just stick to the music, whatever else Justin had to say he didn’t want to hear it.

 

Justin noticed that JC didn’t seem that into their greeting, there was a distance there, but he couldn’t think of why he would be acting that way. He knew how JC could be though so he figured he was just in one of his moods.

 

The studio was quiet, other than the sound of their pens scratching on their note pads or the beats they were experimenting with coming out of the speakers. At first JC’s silence really wasn’t alarming, like him, he usually got into a zone when he worked and talking was at a minimal. But this wasn’t minimal, this was non existence, so Justin finally asked.

 

“Something wrong with you man?�

 

He’d been wondering when Justin was going to question him so without hesitating he answered. “I should be asking you that cause from what I’ve heard you’re not the same Justin.�

 

“What are you talking about?�

 

JC threw his pen on the soundboard and sat back to look his friend in the face. He want him to see how pissed he was. “I’m talking about the fact that the baby’s not even here yet and already you’re a fuckin’ deadbeat.�

 

He scoffed bitterly. “Why am I not surprised.� Looked like Kiki wasn’t that ashamed to tell people he was the father, she was obvious being very vocal about it. “That explains why Joey isn’t talking to me. I bet she ran straight to the both of you crying about what big bad Justin did.�

 

Fired up over that snotty comment, JC sat up straight in his seat and growled. “Don’t even think about it. Don’t blame her for the shit that you pulled. Not that you deserve an explanation, but she didn’t say a word to me or Joey.� Justin pointing a finger at anyone but his self was unacceptable to JC. Kiki could shout from the Hollywood sign that he was the father and it would still be his fault for why his kid was going to grow up without a father. “You didn’t think we wouldn’t notice when she walked into a room pregnant?�

 

“Look you and Joey don’t know what its like to be in my situation so you really can’t say a damn thing.�

 

“Fuck that man. You know what you’re doing is foul and eventually it’s going to come back at you.� He shook his head in disgust and disappointment in his best friend. “Listen it’s not my job to tell you how to live you life no matter how fucked up it is so just forget it. Forget this too.� He gestured to the soundboard. “I’m not feeling it anymore.� He backed up in his seat and stood, gathering his things to leaving.

 

“Whatever man.� Justin blew him off. Even if JC was willing to listen to his side, he didn’t have to explain himself to anyone least of all his friends. This was his decision, his life.

 

Not breaking his stride towards the exit, JC sneered. “Do yourself a favor - save the date – April 27th, 2004. That’s when your kid's going to be born. Maybe by then you’ll wake the fuck up.�

 

As he was pulled the door open, Trace was on the other side pushing and they collided.

 

“Whoa. Hey man. Long time no see.� He smiled, but JC didn’t return the expression.

 

“Yeah you too Trace. Good to see you. I’ll talk to you later.� JC side stepped him and left the studio.

 

“What’s his deal?�

 

Trace was the only friend he had right now and Justin knew he’d be just as angry and disappointed as Joey and JC. He couldn’t take that from another one of his brothers. So he lied.

 

“Nothing.� He shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s just stressin’ over all these producing jigs Jive’s been throwing him. He’ll get over it.�

 

He knew the truth was something JC would not get over it. Even more than Joey, he was very hurt by Justin's behavior. They had known each other longer and were closer, so JC felt very deceived by the loyal and trustworthy person he thought Justin was. Overtime a rift grew between Joey and JC, and Justin. They only socialized during public events and rarely spoke to one another, only to make sure the other was still breathing.

 

Truthfully, Justin was ashamed of himself and knew there was no justification for his actions so he stayed quiet about the baby and was left alone in his regret.

 

 

Kiki on the other hand had gained another person to her support system. She and her friends became a very close tight net group, going out together, having dinner at each other’s houses. It was a great comfort for her to be surrounded by people that she knew she could count on. All and all, she was happy and very fulfilled in her life and her pregnancy. With relapses that left her angry or sad, she did her best to put Justin as far out of her mind as possible. For herself, but more for the baby, she was determined to stay positive. Her child was the most important thing in her life and she put all her energy into being the best mother she could be.

 

Kiki’s last trimester had begun and quite frankly, she was having the time of her life. She loved everything about being pregnant, but she couldn’t wait for her baby to be born. The first time she heard her baby’s heart beat and saw its little body on the ultrasound she cried so hard on her mother’s shoulder. She’d never felt such a pure rush of happiness that made her life so peaceful and complete. Then there was the first time the baby kicked. It was like a horde of butterflies fluttering in her stomach, so weird but at the same time she felt such a connection to her child then, it made it all seem so real. Considering the circumstances behind her pregnancy, she was so relieved that she wasn’t depressed, but joyous and overall very emotionally healthy. 

 

Physically she wasn’t doing to bad either. At first she worried that she wasn’t gaining enough weight because her stomach wasn’t getting as big as she thought it would. Her doctor assured her that she and the baby were perfectly healthy. She joked that Kiki was just carrying a runt and probably wouldn’t see a great gain in abdominal growth. As long as the baby was fine, Kiki could care less how big she got. She definitely wasn’t the type who was miserable during her pregnancy because she felt fat or ugly. It was quite the opposite, she loved her pregnant body and she never felt more beautiful or feminine with her perfectly round pot belly. For Kiki being pregnant – motherhood - was a badge of honor that she wore proudly and with a glow.

 

All around life was good. Her career was thriving; she still had loyal friends and family in her life, but most importantly a healthy baby on the way. She was basically living in a little bubble of bliss.

 

Unfortunately the same intruder that invaded her happy place every once in awhile started butting in more and more especially when his face was popping up left and right. Justin’s popularity had skyrocketed and he was everywhere; on TV, the radio and every magazine cover. Most of the time she was good at ignoring it, but there were some days when it drove her crazy…..

 

 

As tradition Kiki and the girls were out having lunch together, but they were also using the time to do some last minute wedding planning. Marissa’s instinct had been on point about her suspicion that Trent was going to propose. He asked her to marry him the day after she called Kiki in a panic. Now their wedding was set for next month, in March. All the girls were in the wedding party, even Kiki who would be close to popping by then.

 

 

Maya and Tami were seated at a table on Luigi’s terrace when the bride to be and the mommy to be arrived.

 

“Hey honey. How are you feeling today?� Tami asked once Kiki eased herself down into her seat.

 

“Ugh. I’ve been nauseous all day.�

 

“You’re still having morning sickness?�

 

Marissa snickered knowing full well Kiki’s condition had nothing to so with the side effects of her pregnancy. Her bout of nausea had started in the morning when the mail man delivered the club’s mail.

 

“Oh no it’s not morning sickness. I saw the latest issue of US Weekly.� For a split second, she smiled sarcastically and then her face dropped into a deep scowl.

 

Interrupting Kiki’s tale, the waiter came to the table to deliver the drinks and garden salads that Maya and Tami had already ordered for them all. Once he left with their lunch orders, the conversation restarted.

 

“Ooh yeah I saw that. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz.� Tami winced.

 

Maya's fork stopped mid air to her mouth. “Wait they’re seriously dating now?�

 

“Yup. I guess their little meeting at the Euro VMAs went well cause they’re together now and in like every magazine sucking face.�

 

Maya sneered at Marissa’s commentary. He certainly didn’t wait long to hook up with someone new. God she despised that man for what he did to her sister and the baby. He was further proof that men were scum.

 

“While having a lovely time in beautiful Hawaii.� Kiki gushed with a phony over exaggerated tone. Was she slightly jealous? Yes. Would she ever admit it? Hell no. Picking up her fork she stabbed a cherry tomato in her salad. “He makes me fuckin’ sick,� running around living it up like he had not a single care or responsibility in the world. “Sometimes I wish I was a spiteful bitch so I could tell the world how much of an asshole he really is.�

 

“Let karma be the bitch Kik. She gonna get him good one day.�

 

“Thanks Tami Tam.� She sighed, coming down for her burst of anger. “Ok I don’t wanna talk about him anymore. He’s yucking up my aura and she’s gonna start kicking me if I get too upset.�

 

“She?� Maya perked up at that. Was she going to have a niece?

 

Kiki grimaced. “Shit.� She wanted it to be a secret and let everyone find out when the baby was born.

 

“You’re having a girl?� Both Tami and Marissa had looks of awe on their faces waiting for confirmation.

 

“Yes. It’s a girl.� She relented.

 

“Oh!� All three girls started squealing and bouncing around in their seats. They had themselves a little girl to pamper and groom into the next generation of chicas. They quickly went off on a tangent about all the little girl things they could do with her and buy her. Kiki watched them with a smile and a shake of her head, her baby was going to be spoiled by everyone around her.

 

“She is going to be such a cutie.� Marissa declared.

 

“Not necessarily. Kiki’s pretty and sure Justin’s hot, but he’s got a nose on him and I can’t picture that being cute on a baby girl.� Tami scrunched up her face at the thought. For Justin, as a whole his nose fit his face and added to his look. That may not work out too well for the baby.

 

“God don’t I know it. I’m praying she does not look like him because if she comes out with his nose, I swear we are going to the closest plastic surgeon.�

 

“You’re gonna have a lot more to worry about than what she looks like cosmetically if she comes out with that nose.� Maya pointed out. “It’s a dead give away. The world would know who fathered her like that.� She snapped her fingers.

 

“Oh… I didn’t even think about that.� Kiki frowned and then scowled for the hundredth time today, only directed at her sister this time. “Thanks a lot Maya.�

 

“Hey I’m just being realistic. It is a possibility.�

 

“Yeah well maybe she’ll look like me and no one will ever find out.�

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

A few weeks later, Kiki was eating those words when someone new discovered that she was having Justin’s baby. In fact it was the one person that she worried the most about finding out that she was pregnant.

 

“Kiki?�

 

For this past month, she’d been experiencing a crazy craving for Hazelnut steamers and brownies from a café called Spout, in downtown LA. Her lunch break was almost over and she was on her way back to work after getting her fix when a familiar southern drawl calling her name, stopped her. She turned around to see the same blue eyes she had been trying to forget, staring at her from Lynn Harless’ face.

 

A part of Kiki shut down. This was not happening – Justin’s mother was not standing in front of her pregnant self. Maybe she wouldn’t notice, she was wearing (and ignoring the pun) a baby doll dress. Kiki prayed she wouldn’t notice. Snapping out of it, she swallowed thickly. “Oh Hi Ms. Lynn.�

 

“I thought that was you, how are you honey?�

 

Lynn caught her off guard when she pulled her into an unexpected hug. “Oh. Um I’m good.� She replied nervously, still engaged in the hug until Lynn stiffened. She pulled back from Kiki looking baffled and her eyes dropped down to her stomach. Kiki frantically tried to distract her from her find. “I’ve been busy with the club you know, a lot of people are coming in to get in shape for the summer.� She was babbling, but it wasn’t doing a damn thing to take Lynn’s focus off for protruding stomach. For a second, she thought about running away, but when Lynn pulled her aside to a secluded area of the café. She knew it was time for a reckoning.

 

“Kiki are you pregnant?� She couldn’t look at her and that made Lynn even more suspicious. “More importantly are you pregnant by Justin?�

 

She had been a witness to her son and Kiki falling for each other and then she watched him buried himself in work after their sudden break up. When she first found out that about the split and Kiki’s departure from the tour, she questioned him. It had never been easy for her son to open up about his feelings. He used his music as his outlet, so she wasn’t that surprised or offended when all he said was “we broke up. Its over, that’s it Ma.� She left it at that, he’d tell her when he was ready. But still she couldn’t believe that what looked to be a promising relationship ended so abruptly. During her visits after the relationship began, they seemed so perfect together. As much as she wanted to know what happened to make her son so unhappy, she didn’t push for answers. Maybe they didn’t fit as well after all, but looking at Kiki right now she saw the possibility of another reason.

 

Kiki knew she couldn’t lie to Lynn, she could never lie to a parent whether it was hers or not, but she had to hold on to this secret now more than ever. “Mrs. Harless…� It felt so wrong to call her “Ms. Lynn� when she was about to lie to her face.

 

“Tell me the truth Kiki. Don’t lie to me.� She interrupted with that stern motherly tone making it that much harder for the lie to pass through her lips. “You are, aren’t you?�

 

Kiki tried again, looking off to the side instead of the floor, but still not at Lynn. “Mrs. Harless….� She started with a voice on the edge of tears and was interrupted again.

 

“Kiki if you are carrying my grandchild I have a right to know.�

 

She finally looked her in the eyes and a tear dropped down her cheek. Justin may be able to lie to his mother, but she couldn’t lie to this woman, her daughter's grandmother. Unable to use her voice, she nodded her head in affirmation.

 

“Oh my God.� Lynn coved her mouth in shock. “How could the two of you keep this from me? That’s my grandchild, my first grandchild. How could you do something like this? I know you and my son aren’t together anymore but…� She trailed off, angry and hurt over this deception.

 

“I didn’t. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, the pregnancy wasn't planned, but I wanted to keep my baby. I…I...� Of course Lynn had no clue about Justin’s choice not to take part in his child’s life. How could she tell her the truth without pointing the finger at him? Not that he deserved to be protected, but she didn’t want to cause any problems between mother and son.

 

Lynn’s mind was turning circles trying to find a reason why her son would keep a secret like this from her. Then it struck her. “Does Justin even know about the baby? Did you tell him?�

 

Kiki was grasping at straws so she used her question as an outing. “No he doesn’t. I didn’t tell him.� She would rather have Lynn mad at her than know the truth. If she did, no doubt she would confront Justin and even worse, probably try to use her position as his mother to make him be a part of the baby’s life. She did not want that, she wanted Justin to step up to the plate because he wanted to. Forcing fatherhood on him would only lead to resentment towards the baby and Kiki was not about to let that happen to her child. So for her little girl, she would take the blame.

 

“You can’t keep something like this from him, it’s his child too. You have no right.� Lynn couldn’t believe she was capable of doing something like this. If this was the kind of person she really was then no wonder they broke up. “You are going to tell him right now. I’ll call him and tell him we’re coming…�

 

“No!� Kiki yelped and shut the phone closed in Lynn’s hand. “You cannot tell him.�

 

“He has to know, he would want to know.� She was almost yelling, trying her best not to draw any attention to them, but she needed to get through to her. “If you don’t tell him I will!� Lynn turned away from her prepared to call Justin and let him know what was going on.

 

“I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.� Kiki confessed. She couldn’t hold it together anymore. This whole situation just became even more difficult. Lynn stopped with her finger poised over the send button and turned a questioning look toward her. “I told Justin that he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out that he had a child. That he wouldn’t have his perfect image ruined by a kid he didn’t want.� Wiping a stray tear, Kiki continued. “Both Joey and JC already know and now they aren’t even on speaking terms with him. I didn’t want that to happen with you two. I’m sorry.� She already felt guilty about the way those friendships had suffered, regardless of the guys telling her it was Justin’s doing. She knew that, but she just couldn’t help but feel the fault lay at her feet.

 

Lynn was stunned. She couldn’t believe that the son she raised had rejected his own child. She knew Kiki wasn’t lying to her, it was obvious now that she had tried desperately to protect this secret. Plus her instincts about people were rarely wrong and never once had she gotten the feeling that Kiki was a deceitful person. The young woman she had grown to know and like couldn’t do something as conniving. However, Justin was her son and she would believe him over anyone else, but things weren’t looking too good for him right now. Had he gotten so caught up in his celebrity that he forgot how to be a good person and do the right thing regardless of how it affected his “image�? Thinking as one of his managers, yes, a child might change people’s views of him, but it could be dealt with in a way that would preserve his career. But as his mother and the grandmother of this child, she couldn’t let him walk away from his responsibilities and neglect his child. An innocent baby who hands down, trumped his career. She needed to get to the bottom of all this right now.

 

“Let me get this straight.� She pulled Kiki over to an empty table in the corner of the café and they sat down. “When you told Justin you were pregnant, he said he didn’t want it? He abandoned you?�

 

“Yes.� She answered truthfully.

 

“No offense sweetie, but are you sure the baby is Justin’s? Maybe he doesn’t think it’s his.� Everything that was being revealed to her was coming for a person she didn’t know as well as she knew her son and she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

“Justin is the only man I have ever been with and he knows that. But if he had any doubts he could have asked for a paternity test.� Kiki glared at her, getting mad now that Lynn had basically questioned her promiscuity. “As a matter of fact I offered, but he didn’t accept because he knows the baby is his.� She stated calmly, having reined in her anger. She had to remember that Lynn didn’t really know her and was just trying to understand the reason for son’s behavior. “He just doesn’t want the baby.�

 

“Then I need to talk to him and find out what the hell he’s thinking.� After hearing everything Kiki had to say, it was time to talk to Justin himself and get his side of the story.

 

“I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone Mrs. Harless. You can’t say anything to him.� Kiki was tired; it was exhausting keeping a secret, especially one that wasn’t hers. This was Justin’s mom; therefore, Justin’s job to tell her.

 

“Well you didn’t tell me. I figured it out, so you’re not to blame.� Lynn stated. “There is no way in hell I will keep quiet about this. Justin is a grown man and he can do whatever he wants in his life. Usually I don’t say anything, but not this time because it affects me. It reflects on me as his mother and makes it look like I raised him to be irresponsible. And more to the point, Justin should have told me that I was going to be a grandmother. That’s my blood your carrying and I had a right to be told.� Lynn had to compose herself because she was getting really fired up.

 

“This is so out of control, things weren’t supposed to get this complicated.� Kiki propped her elbows on top of the table and rested her forehead against her palms.

 

“Honey, listen to me.� Lynn grabbed on of her hands and held it in hers. “Don’t worry about this, it’s between Justin and me. It has nothing to do with you. I don’t plan on forcing him into fatherhood because he has to do the right thing on his own. But he kept a truth from me, something I deserved to know and he has to answer to me about that. You’re not a part of that, ok?�

 

Kiki nodded and released a sigh of relief, even though she couldn’t put much faith into her words. Regardless of what Lynn said she knew Justin would see it as her fault, but she couldn’t worry about that.

 

“Good and now I don’t want to talk about my son anymore. I want to talk about you and this baby, my grandchild.� She beamed with pride and reached over to rub Kiki’s belly. “How have you two been?�

 

Kiki smiled at Lynn’s obvious happiness over the baby and started telling her how the pregnancy had been going. They talked about the horrors of the first trimester with the discomfort and the morning sickness, but then the joy of feeling a life grow inside you. Kiki showed Lynn a sonogram that she carried with her and told her she could keep it because she had so many as it was.

 

“Do you know what you’re having?� Lynn couldn’t stop smiling as she stared at the little black and white snap shot.

 

Kiki couldn’t keep her own at bay, no matter what this was the happiest time of her life. “Do you want to know?�

 

“Yes.�

 

“It’s a girl.�

 

Overwhelmed by the knowledge that she had a granddaughter on the way Lynn started crying and so did Kiki.

 

Tears wiped away, they stayed seated and talked for awhile longer until Kiki took notice of the time. “Oh wow, we’ve been here for almost an hour now.  I’m so late for work, this was only supposed to be a five minute stop.� She laughed.

 

“Paul must be wondering where I am. I should get going too.�

 

“I had a great time though and I’m sorry I tried to lie to you. I just…�

 

“Don’t worry about it honey.� They stood from their seats and started gathering their things to leave. “It doesn’t matter anymore and don’t you worry about Justin and me. If he doesn’t see for himself what a mistake he’s making, I will be extremely disappointed but that’s on him. As for me, that’s my grandbaby and I want to be a part of her life if you'll let me.� She asked hopefully.

 

“You are more than welcomed to be a part of her life. You have every right to be involved and my baby has every right to have her grandma around. I want her to have as much love as possible, the more the merrier.� She smiled.

 

They shared a hug, relieve that despite Justin’s action, their friendship wasn’t damaged and the baby wouldn’t be without her grandmother.

 

“I can’t wait to get home and tell Paul. He’s going to be so excited when he finds out he’s going to be a grandpa.� They walked to the exit together, but Lynn stopped Kiki for another moment. “Before you go we have to exchange phone numbers and I was thinking we could go to lunch and do some baby shopping next weekend.�

 

“I would love to.� They exchanged information and embraced once more time before parting ways.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Headed home, Lynn spent the entire ride switching between being thrilled about being a grandmother and angry as hell over her son’s behavior. He was definitely getting a piece of her mind when she got home.

 

She found Paul in the office doing paperwork and she immediately told him everything that occurred at the café.

 

Needless to say, he was shocked and just as disappointed in Justin. He may not be his biological father, but he played a role in raising him and in every way that mattered Justin was his son. Both he and Lynn taught him to be a man and take responsibility for the things that he did. Despite the upsetting news, there was an upside to it - he was going to be a grandfather. Looking at the sonogram, ironically, he’d never been more proud of Justin.

 

“Ok now that, that is taken care ,of.� Lynn said after putting the sonogram in a spare picture frame and setting it on the office mantle, on display for her to show off. Oh no…

 

If Justin was planning on keeping this baby a secret from her, then he probably wanted it kept from the world. Kiki did say no one was supposed to know. Truthfully, no one could know, it would turn Kiki and the baby’s lives upside down if the public found out, possibly putting them in danger. This had to stay a family secret and that saddened her. It meant she had to hide her granddaughter like she was something to be ashamed of. She couldn’t brag to everyone and anyone that she had the best grandchild in the world. Oh screw being sad, now she was pissed.

 

“Time to find out what the hell is wrong with our son.�

 

Lynn sat on the edge of the desk and clicked on the office speaker phone before dialing Justin.

 

“Hey Ma.�

 

Skipping the pleasantries, she got straight to the point. “I really would like to know what the hell is going on in your brain lately Justin. Not only am I finding out that I have a grandbaby on the way by bumping into your pregnant ex girlfriend, but even better I find out my son who I thought I raised better, has turned his back on his own child. Did I miss anything?�

 

“You don’t understand Ma.� Justin tried to explain as panic began to well up inside of him.

 

“You’re damn right I don’t. And unless you tell me that baby’s not yours then there’s nothing you can say that will make what you’ve done understandable.�

 

“Mom-“

 

“Is the baby yours Justin?�

 

Sighing heavily, he muttered. “Yes.�

 

“In that case if abandoning your child is how you’re going to handle this, then I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I don’t think I even want to see your face for awhile. I am so disappointed in you Justin.� He knew that already, he could hear it in every word she spoke and it cut him deep. He never wanted to make his mother feel that way about him. But he couldn’t change his mind, so they were at an impasse. “I want you to know I will be playing an active role in my grandchild’s life. If you have a problem with that I really don’t give a damn. You’re a grown man, you do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care.�

 

“Ma I’m sorry.� She could hear sadness and fear in his voice, but she really didn’t care. He brought it on himself.

 

Lynn snorted a futile laugh. “I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to. I’m not the one who’s going to pay for this decision you’ve made. Your child’s not even going to pay because she has a family and more importantly, a mother who is strong and more than capable of raising her on her own. You should save your sorrys for yourself. You’re going to be the one to regret this in the end.� She sighed feeling drained and simply done with chastising him. “I gotta go I have things to do. Goodbye Justin.�

 

The line hadn’t been cut so Justin tried calling her back. “Ma, Ma. You have to understand I just can’t be a father.�

 

“Justin your mother left the room.� Paul finally spoke up. He knew his wife and he let her have her turn, now it was his.

 

“Dad you understand don’t you?� He was getting desperate. Though he knew he didn’t deserve it, he needed his family’s support right now. His own guilt was doing enough damage as is, he didn’t needed their disappointment and rejection adding to it.

 

“You’re scared.� He did know why Justin was turning his back on his child, but “that’s still no reason to neglect your responsibilities to your child. I was scared when you came into my life. I knew I’d have to be a father figure to you in some way, it terrified me, but I didn’t it anyway. And it wasn’t because I loved you mother, but because I loved you. I got to know you and you became my son. Despite all my initial fears, I never regretted you coming into my life.�

 

Justin heard everything his step father was saying to him, it touched him, but it didn’t make him feel any better. He still was not capable of stepping up. “I’m sorry Dad. I just-“

 

Disappointed that what he said made no difference, Paul interrupted him. “Like you mother said don’t say sorry to me. It’s your life Justin. Live it however you like just be prepared to deal with the consequences.�

 

He didn’t respond to his step father, only letting out a deep shuttering breath. Everything, guilt, sorrow and sadness was baring down on him and he had no one to turn to. It felt as though he was already dealing with some of those consequences.

 

“I’m gonna let you go. I have to go check on your mom.� Paul stood from his chair and braced himself on the desk, leaning over the phone. “I wish I could tell you everything will be okay, but I don’t know if it will.� There was silence over both lines for a moment. Paul wished he could say something to get through to his son. While Justin was hoping he wasn’t about to lose his parents from his life over this. “Anyway, I’ll talk to you later. Don’t worry about your mom, she loves you no matter what and so do I.�

 

“I love you too.�

 

Paul let out a disappointed sigh before he said his goodbye.

 

 

With the phone still in his hand, Justin sat at the bar on his deck, listening to the dial tone, not moving. He felt so shameful and completely lost. Everyone he loved and counted on was demanding something from him that he just couldn’t do and none of them understand where he was coming from. He knew what he was doing was fucked up, he wouldn’t feel so shitty if he didn’t have a working conscience, but the alternative that he saw was much worse. He didn’t want to hurt his baby by making himself a constant in their life and then disappearing when things got to hard on him or his work got in the way. He would not make is own child feel rejected and unloved. Kiki would be a great single mother, she would compensate for his absence and with her, their baby would never have to worry about whether she was loved or wanted.

 

She….His mother had said she when she referred to the baby. He was having a little girl? A little baby girl. Tears began to fall from him eyes and he didn’t even bother to wipe them. In that instance, he felt like a piece of his soul was lost and he didn’t know if it would ever be whole again. Would he ever gain the courage to fix his mistakes and stop being his own worse enemy?

 

 

His tears had dried up, but he was still in a daze, only mildly aware of the sound of laughter coming from the driveway and into the backyard.

 

It was Trace and Cameron returning from Whole Foods to pick up some extra supplies for the barbeque he was hosting. Climbing the deck steps, they were totally thrown when they found Justin staring into space looking almost despondent.

 

“Justin, are you okay honey?� Cameron asked as she sat the groceries on a patio table.

 

At first he said nothing and only stared at the concerned faces of his best friend and his new girlfriend. No he was far from okay and he needed to talk to someone about it. Not Cameron, she would probably dump his ass if she knew the dead beat that he really was. Trace would be pissed, but he knew everything about him - the good, the bad, the really bad and he still had his back. There was a chance he would do the opposite and turn his back on him, but it was eating him up inside, keeping all his guilt bottled up. And right now he could really use some reassurance that his mother hadn’t just disowned him.

 

“Um Trace.� He cleared his throat and tried to put on a composed face as he asked. “I need to talk to you for a minute about some um, some business.�

 

“Okay.� Trace replied slowly and to the side he shared a suspicious glance with Cameron. She may not have known Justin long, but she’d have to be deaf and blind not to know something was up.

 

Putting aside her disappointment that Justin was obviously uncomfortable with sharing whatever it was he needed to talk with Trace about in front of her, Cameron broke up the tension with an offer. “Um I’m just going to go unpack these groceries while you two talk.�

 

She walked pass Justin on her way into the house and he stopped her.

 

“Thanks Cam.�

 

She smiled. “You’re welcome.� Hopefully they had plenty of time to get to know each other and trust each other with their secrets one day.

 

As soon as the sliding patio door shut, Trace pounced.

 

“Okay what’s wrong with you man?�

 

Justin exhaled deeply and scrubbed his hands over his mouth. Where to start? “Uh I just talked to Ma and she’s not happy with me right now.�

 

“Uh oh. What’d you do? Say some dumb shit in an interview and she found out about it?� He chuckled.

 

“No.� He shook his head and stuttered for a moment trying to figure out how to say this. “I’m having a baby.� All signs of amusement from Trace flew out the window with his sudden admission. “I mean Kiki’s pregnant and I’m um, I’m not going to be around. Ma just found out and she doesn’t want to talk to me. She doesn’t even wanna see me.� He put his head down in shame and muttered sullenly. “What am I gonna do?�

 

Trace was in shock. He couldn’t believe his best friend was just now telling him he was going to be a father. It was upsetting to be kept in the dark like that, but Justin’s reaction to his new role was more disturbing. “What….What are you gonna do?! You’re telling me that you have a kid out there.� He pointed out into space. “That you freely walked away from and you’re actually asking me what you should do? What the fuck do you think you should do?! Go get you kid!� For Trace there was no question, you have a child, you man up and do what’s right by them.

 

On the defense, Justin lashed out. “Look at my life man! It’s so unstable, I can’t even have a fuckin’ pet! How the hell can I have a kid?! Why show up in the first place if I won’t be able to stick around.�

 

This was so bizarre, he never knew Justin to just give up without trying first. “You honestly believe that you can’t be father to your kid?�

 

“I cannot do it.� He straight out admitted. There were just too many complications and challenges he wasn’t prepared to face in this situation. Call him a punk, but he wasn’t strong enough to be a father. He’d never been this afraid and he’d rather walk away in one piece while he still could.

 

The vigilant fear on Justin’s face was something Trace had never seen and he knew he was deal with some serious lack of confidence in his ability to be a father. Still he couldn’t understand how he was able to bow out when he had something he always wanted out of life. Sure being a father would make things more complicated for him, but was it worth the guilt and shame should anyone find out he was neglecting his child? Thinking back, with his behavior as of lately, Trace could see that it was getting to him already. The partying and drinking almost excessively, jumping head first into a relationship with Cameron after sleeping his way through Europe’s share of groupies, now it all made sense. He was using whatever he could to bury it all, losing Kiki and now the weight of his decision. Well how the hell was he planning on coping with this decision that was no doubt going to plague him for the rest of his life? Justin was setting himself up for a very hard life.

 

“I think you’re making a big mistake and you should seriously reconsider.� Trace voiced his honest opinion. He in no way condoned or agreed with what Justin was doing, but he wasn’t going to leave his best friend hanging when he knew deep down that living without his child was going to kill a part of him. “Whether or not this is your final decision, I still got your back. Always man.�

 

“Thanks Trace.�

 

The two life long friends shared a supportive hug and Justin choked back tears of relief; at least he still had someone on his side.

 

“And don’t worry about Mama Lynn. Sure she’ll be pissed at you for the rest of your life, but she still loves you. She’ll come around.�

 

“Yeah, yeah.� He agreed reflexively because he wasn’t so sure about that. “Uh let’s go help Cam. The party starts in a little bit.�

 

Both men made their way back into the house feeling a sense of foreboding towards the future.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

After two weeks of not hearing from his mother and only getting updates on her mood from his stepfather, Lynn finally answered his phone call.

 

Hello Justin.�

 

“Hey Mama.� He answered excitedly.

 

“How are you?�

 

“As good as I can be.� He chuckled uncomfortably. He’d never in his life felt uncomfortable talking to his mother. “I’ve been keeping busy.�

 

“That’s good. It’s good to hear your voice.�

 

“It is?�

 

“Of course. You’re still my son, my baby.� Justin cheesed. “I am very disappointed in you, but I still love you. I’ll always love you.�

 

“I love you too and I hope you’re not planning on disowning me.�

 

She rolled her eyes. “Oh don’t be so dramatic Justin. I’d never do that, but things are going to be very different between us.� She revealed. “I’ve never forced you to do anything and I’m not going to start now by trying to make you be a father. Besides I shouldn’t have to force you to be a part of your child’s life.�

 

Justin stayed quiet and attentively listened. He had no grounds to stand on and contest any opinion she had on this matter.

 

“I think its best that we don’t discuss the baby when we talk or visit. I’m not going to tell you anything and please don’t ask me about her. You want to know what’s going on with your child, you have to find out yourself. I will not help you be some absentee parent or ease your conscience when it gets to you by being your informant.� She was making her stance on the situation crystal clear. “And I’m gonna have to ask you to call before you come over from now on just in case the baby and/or Kiki are visiting.� That was a slap in the face to Justin, he’d never been shut out of his parents’ house before. It hurt, but at the same time he was relieved about the stipulation. He could not handle walking into that house to see a miniature version of his self and Kiki running around.

 

“Okay.�

 

“Good. Now there is one final thing I have to say on the subject before we drop this.�

 

“That is?� He asked cautiously. What was she going to ban him from this time?

 

“I’ve spent some time with Kiki over the past couple of weeks and she told me that if you ever decided you wanted to be a part of the baby’s life she would not stop you. So I am praying you get some sense, be the son I raised and be a parent to your child before it’s too late.�

 

Justin already felt like it was too late and that there was no going back. Her prayers were most likely going to go unanswered.

 

At the mention of Kiki for the second time, Justin became curious as to how she was doing. Contradictory to his actions, he still cared very much for her. Hell who was he kidding, he was still in love with her.

 

“How is she?�

 

“Other than the fact that she’s happy and healthy, what happens in Kiki’s life is not my business to tell.� Lynn wasn’t about to share information on Kiki either. He would have to face her himself if he wanted to know about her or the baby.

 

When the conversation came to a close, it was clear to both Justin and Lynn that their relationship was on the rocks. And it would stay that way until Justin willingly stepping up to take responsibility for the life he helped create.

 

Now that his parents and best friend knew, Justin didn’t have the pressure of secrecy weighing down on him, but the guilt wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He’d just have to drown it out by concentrating on his life as it was and put the baby and Kiki out of his mind. His career was soaring and things with Cameron were going very good. His life was right where he always wanted it to be, it was perfect, he had everything he needed. He was happy. Right?

With the baby’s arrival approaching, the support system that had formed around Kiki had turned into an inner circle, a family of sorts. They all shared in not just the secret of the baby’s paternity and adoration for her and Kiki, but also in genuine comradely and friendship towards each other. When Lynn and Paul came into the folds they were welcomed with open arms and met with no ill will for their son’s actions. The future grandparents actually clicked well, Nina and Lynn especially found that they had a lot in common besides their shared first grandchild. They became the two mamas of the circle, being respected and revered by all. Together they really cemented the sense of unity among them all, specifically with their idea of Sunday dinner. Both women loved cooking and feeding their families, so now that they were all becoming one big family, they thought why not do it together. Every other Sunday, alternating between the Lewis house and the Harless house the inner circle got together to have a good time and enjoy a home cooked meal.

 

There were also the big events that they celebrated together like the day Ms. Marissa Miller becoming Mrs. Marissa Tanner. The ceremony was beautiful and the group of friends managed to turn the reception into quite the party. Joey caught the garter and being the flirt that he was, he put on quite the show slipping it on the woman who caught the bouquet. She was a trainer at Key West and coincidently an ‘N Sync fan. All the guests, including Tami, were cracking up as the woman turn beet red from his teasing. The party went on well into the evening, but for the first time in her life, Kiki left a party before it was over. She was too exhausted to keep up, but she might as well get used to it, her partying days were over. Not that she mind, she had much better baby days ahead.

 

Her second baby shower, her family shower, being one of them.

 

With the possibility that people knew who Lynn and Paul were, Kiki had to have a separate shower for friends and co-workers to attend along with her family who were there more for appearance’s sake. It was a fun party that Maya, Tami and Marissa hosted at Joey’s house for her and she got a plethora of gifts, but her family shower was more special and intimate for Kiki.

 

On this go around it was the Lewis house’s turn to host a gathering and they all met up there for a barbeque. Paul and Frederick were manning the grill while Nina and Lynn were in the kitchen preparing the side dishes for the meal. Like usual, the guys were outside with the patriarchs shooting the shit and playing ball on the court that Frederick had constructed on the property for the kids years ago. The girls were in the kitchen with the matriarchs, surrounding Kiki as she went through a Babies R Us catalog showing them all the items she was buying with the arsenal of gift cards she had gotten at her first shower. Yes it was late in the game to be buying baby supplies, but Lynn and Nina had asked her to wait until she got her gifts from them. Apparently she had some good stuff coming and she couldn’t wait to find out.

 

The room was loud and boisterous with their chatting and laughing until the girls went outside to see what the guys were up to, maybe challenge them to a game. Kiki choose to stay inside with her mother and Lynn as they gossiped about their work week, interjecting every once and awhile. A lull had hit the conversation and Lynn used the opportunity to bring up a subject she had been feeling awfully guilty about. Kiki had all of her family celebrating with her today, but there were other people, family of the baby’s who would have loved to be here. Two people in particular and she wondered if Kiki would ever feel comfortable with anyone from Justin’s side other than herself, Paul, Randy and Lisa knowing about the baby.

 

Setting down the tongs she was tossing the salad with, Lynn said. “Kiki honey, I have to ask you something.� Mouth full of pilfered raw cauliflower from the veggie platter, Kiki signaled for her to go ahead. “I know that its safest if only your family and your friends know about the baby. But there are some family members of mine who would like to know her too.�

 

Kiki smiled when she realized who Lynn was hinting at. “Like your parents? How are they by the way?�

 

“You’ve met them?� Nina questioned. She had no idea Kiki and Justin had gotten serious enough for her to have met his parents and grandparents.

 

“Yeah I met them at our stop in Memphis.�

 

*********************************************************************************************************

 

Kiki was putting her hair in a top knot when she heard someone knocking to a beat on her hotel door. Knowing exactly who it was, she made him wait until her hair was in place and then she answered the door.

 

“What the hell are you doin’ answering the door without asking who it is?� Justin chastened her with a teasing grin when her figure came into view.

 

“Oh shut up.� She left him in the doorway to finish getting ready in the bathroom.

 

Rushing up behind her, he grabbed her hips and pulled her back to lay a raspberry on her cheek. She squirmed and batted at him. “Get away.�

 

Laughing he released her into the bathroom and stood against the door frame, watching her. “So you ready?� He grinned almost goofily. He was so excited about her agreeing to tag along with him to breakfast with his grandparents so they could meet. It would have been too overwhelming for her last night with his whole family at the show, so he put off their meeting for this morning with just the four of them. He could sense her apprehension as he watched her shift around uncomfortably. “Don’t worry baby. They’re my mom’s parents, so they’re going to love you just like she does.�

 

Kiki smiled at that. Lynn did make it clear that she like her a lot and hinted at her approval should she decide to pursue a relationship with Justin. Too bad she was in LA this weekend or else she would have been in for a treat.

 

Screwing the cap of her mascara back on, she faced Justin. “I’m not gonna spazz. I’m fine.�

 

“Good.� He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Let’s go then before you punk out.�

 

He laughed out loud when she pushed him towards the door and again told him to shut up. He grabbed her hand, she strapped on her purse and they left the room.

 

Descending ten floors to the lobby, they stood side by side in the elevator, Justin’s arm slung over her shoulder. “I wish we weren’t leaving in a few hours. I’d take you for a ride, show you my house.�

 

“Really? Well that’s reassuring to know.�

 

“What is?�

 

“That you would voluntarily take me to your house. It means you probably don’t have another chick living up in there.�

 

“Oh no.� He denied. “She’s at my house in LA.�

 

His smirking was met with an icy glare that was quickly wiped it off his lips with a backhand to the stomach.

 

“Oomph. Ey! You little-“ He growled and grabbed at her, but the elevator bell dinged and the doors slid opened.

 

Kiki giggled as she dodged him and jetted out the car. In the lobby with plenty of people milling around, in a teasing manner, she reminded a vengeful Justin. “We’re in public now. Be good.�

 

“Keep actin’ up and I’m gonna get your ass later.�

 

Subtly, for his eyes only, she wiggled her butt as she walked ahead of him. “You can try.�

 

Entering the Bob Evan’s that was connected to the hotel, Justin saw the restaurant’s lobby was empty so he used the opportunity for payback.

 

“Ow!� Kiki yelped when she felt the sting of his slap on her rear. The hostess’ attention was drawn to them preventing her from retaliate with anything other than a scowl and hiss of “asshole�.

 

Ignoring her, Justin walked around her to the welcome podium. “Hi.�

 

“Hello welcome to Bob Evan’s. Can I get you a table for two?� The older woman asked.

 

“No we’re meeting some people and-“ He looked past her onto the main floor and saw his grandparents seated at a table, talking. “I see them right over there.� He pointed.

 

“Oh yes, you can go right in. Your menus are already waiting at the table with your party.�

 

“Thanks.� Justin and Kiki both replied.

 

“Enjoy you’re meal.�

 

Walking through the restaurant, they heard a few gasps and whispers when Justin was noticed. He ignored it hoping if he didn’t acknowledge them, he wouldn’t be bothered while eating.

 

“Hey Granny. Hey Pa.�

 

“Hi son.�

 

“Hey sugah.� The couple greeted their grandson with happy smiles.

 

“I hope you guys weren’t waiting long.� He kissed his grandmother on the cheek and hugged grandfather before pulling a chair out for Kiki.

 

“Only about 10 minutes.� Bill shrugged.

 

“Cool.� He nodded. “Well guys this is Kiki. Kiki this is my Granny and my Pa.�

 

With a confident, bright smile on, Kiki stuck her hand out to Mrs. Bomar first, followed by Mr. Bomar. “Hi it’s nice to meet you Mrs. and Mr. Bomar.�

 

They each returned the welcoming warmly before Sadie began the inquisition.

 

“So you’re the young lady my daughter has told me about.� Lynn had been vague only telling her that when Justin came into town, she would probably be introduced to a very nice and quite impressive young woman who he was rather smitten with. “You sure are a pretty little thang. No wonder you and my grandson move so well together.�

 

Kiki’s eyes widened as she blushed furiously; partly from embarrassment and partly from amusement. Rather obvious insinuating was apparently a Bomar family trait.

 

“Granny.� Justin admonished to which she just waved him off. “Pa..� He looked to his grandfather for some help.

 

Bill chuckled as he looked at his menu. “What do you expect me to do? You know how your grandmother is.� His wife was a very independent woman who did and said what she wanted. He stopped trying to censor her ages ago.

 

“Oh don’t mind me honey.� Sadie reached over and patted Kiki’s hand. “I’m just messin’. I’m one of those grandmas’s who likes to tease her family, especially this one.� She thrust a thumb at Justin. “I gotta make sure that fame and fortune doesn’t go to his head. Although I’ve heard you’re doing a pretty good job of that.�

 

“Well you gotta keep ‘em on a short leash or they run wild.� Kiki quipped and a peel of laughter came from both Sadie and Bill.

 

“Oh I like her.� Bill replied casual, still trying to decide what he wanted to eat and Sadie agreed whole heartedly.

 

Kiki beamed under their approval while Justin pouted. “Oh this is just perfect. I’m keeping you away from the rest of the family so you can’t corrupt them too.�

 

By the end of a very enjoyable breakfast, Sadie and Bill were hugging Kiki goodbye and ordering Justin to bring her home with him when the tour was over.

 

***********************************************************************************************

 

“Your parents are so sweet. And your mom probably makes the best peach cobbler I have ever had. But don’t tell my grandmother that.�

 

Lynn laughed. “I’m surprised Justin shared.�

 

“Uh…yeah. I think he was in one of his rare ‘sharing is caring’ moods.�

 

More like he was in the mood to use her as a plate once he wrestled her to the floor of his bus, pulled her shirt off and slathered a piece of the pie all over her bare stomach before eating every bit off.

 

Feeling herself blush at the memory, Kiki dismissed the not only hot, but at this point forbidden thoughts out of her head. Justin is the enemy no sexy thoughts about him Kiki. Damn these hormones!

 

“So it’ll be okay if I tell them?� Lynn asked anxiously. Her mother of all people would be crushed to find out that she had a great grandchild kept secret from her.

 

Kiki sighed. “You know that sometimes family can betray you the worse and because of that you can’t tell them anything right?�

 

“Yes and unfortunately there are a few of us Bomars who would blab in a heartbeat if they had any gossip on Justin.�

 

“Well then if you know which ones can be trusted, feel free to tell them.� She really had no problem with deserving, trustworthy family knowing the truth. “I’m big on family, you know that and I want to pass that on to my daughter, but how do I do that when part of her family doesn’t even know she exists?� She emitted a harsh sigh, once again feeling frustrated with the situation.

 

“It’s a raw deal that you and especially the baby have been dealt. Hopefully it won’t be forever.� Nina tried to assure her daughter.

 

“You know I wish I could be as positive as you two, but let’s be real here for a minute. It just might be forever because Justin may never accept our child.� The spotlight was finally shone on the reality of the situation.  Kiki had been hopeful that something would change on Justin’s end, but the baby would be here soon and he was still AWOL. If he couldn’t grow a pair by now, she doubted he ever would. “I’ve come to realize that I’m going to have to either lie to my daughter for her entire life or at some point tell her the truth and force her to live like some disgrace that no one is aware of. Its cruel and unfair and I swear I almost hate him sometimes.� A flare of intense anger came over Kiki’s whole demeanor, disturbing the positivity she’d been trying to keep her mind frame and emotions under.

 

Nina and Lynn shared a disheartening glance. Kiki had brought up a good point that until now they never considered and it disturbed Lynn the most. Maybe this situation was impossible and her son would never do right by his daughter. How to explain that to a child?

 

“Ugh.� Kiki groaned in anger. Damnit once again because of him, she was getting so upset she could feel tears building in her eyes and even better while she was at her baby shower. No this was not going to happen, not now. “You know forget it. I’m not going to lie to my child that’s for damn sure. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her, but that day is a long way away. I’ll decide when I get to that crossroad.� For now she figured she had well over a decade until her daughter was old enough to know the truth. In the meantime she had to concentrate on making her child so happy and feel so loved that she wouldn’t even know what she was missing. Letting it all go with a smile, she declared. “I have better things to do than dwell anyway - like enjoy my baby shower and getting more presents.�

 

Nina and Lynn watched the distress melt off Kiki and turn into genuine giddy joy. Her never ending strength that kept her focused on being happy and taking care of herself and her baby throughout all this drama was something they were proud of her for, especially as women and mothers themselves. With that they followed her lead and changed the subject to more mundane topics.

 

Lunch was served and once everyone was pleasantly stuffed, it was time for the big gift reveal and she found out why agreeing to wait to buy her baby supplies was a smart move. Between her parents and Lynn and Paul, they had brought all the furniture for the nursery, a baby carrier, swing, stroller, high chair, etc. All she had to do was go and pick out the ones she wanted and she was all set. All the essentials she needed, she now had.

 

And by the end of the following week, a nursery across the hall from her bedroom with a mix of pastel pink, purple, green and blue was complete and wait for a newborn baby girl.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

The bedside clock read 2:37AM and the Lewis house was cloaked in darkness and silence. At the end of the hall in Kiki’s childhood bedroom she slept soundly until a jolt of pain from her abdomen woke her instantly. It was pain unlike anything she’d ever experienced and she knew from her talks with her doctor and other mothers in her Lamaze class that it was a contraction. Lying on her side she froze, eyes searching the darkness of her room in fear. This couldn’t be it, she wasn’t ready, the baby wasn’t ready. She wasn’t due for another two weeks. Maybe this isn’t real, maybe it was the Braxton-Hicks contractions that her doctor warned her about closer to her due date. Lying propped up against her headboard, Kiki stayed awake, cell phone poised at her side, waiting for another contraction.

 

The sharp bit of pain never returned and the next thing Kiki knew she was waking up at 11AM later that morning, surprisingly feeling quite rested. She was convinced the single contraction was just a case of BH and she got out of her bed to start her day. A day that lately consisted of her relaxing around her parents’ house, catching up on her leisure reading or daytime soaps, all while unsuccessfully trying to stop her mother from waiting on her hand and foot. At Nina’s insistence, she had moved back home for the last month of her pregnancy so she would have someone around to help if she ever needed it.

 

She was in the kitchen making a sandwich when that sharp undeniable pain rippled out from her stomach and through her entire body. It was another contraction like the night before, but not like the night before. This one was so painful it forced her to drop the knife she was using and grab a hold of the counter’s edge when her knees buckled. She had a feel that this was labor, not Braxton-Hicks at all.

 

Pushing through the pain, Kiki was able to stumble over to one of the kitchen chairs. Holding onto the seat of the chair, she did her Lamaze breathing until the pain ebbed away. This was just the beginning and already she wasn’t so sure she wanted to do it anymore. It was far too late to change her mind though, so she braced herself to get up and go tell her parents that the time had come. Rising from her seat, she took two steps and another contraction seared through her body again. Luckily she hadn’t gotten to far from her chair or she would have fallen to the floor.

 

“Oh God.� Kiki moaned in agony before she let out a quiet sob. She was in an incredible amount of pain and scared to death, but she had to be strong now more than ever. It was time for her to bring her little girl into this world so she focused herself and began to breathe rhythmically again. When the pain faded this time, swiftly, but gingerly she waddled outside where her parents were doing yard work.

 

Walking through the sliding door, she stepped onto the patio and saw her mother was in her rose bush pruning and cultivating the soil while her father was mowing the lawn. Luckily he was at the back of the yard so the noise wouldn’t overpower her voice.

 

But all she could get out was “Mamí,� before she felt a warm gush of liquid run down her leg.

 

“Oh God my water broke!� She looked down to see tracks of fluid running down her bare legs to a little pool at her feet. Oh God, oh God. I’m having a baby. I’m having a baby! She began to panic and couldn’t seem to move or call out for help again.

 

Fortunately she didn’t have to. Nina had heard her and turned her attention to her daughter’s frozen form. When Kiki’s head came up from staring at her feet, Nina didn’t even bother to ask what she needed. The terror on her face was a look that she was familiar with, she remembered feeling the way Kiki looked right now. Ripped off her gardening gloves and smock, she ran across the backyard to her daughter’s side. Her sudden retreat got Frederick’s attention and he cut off the mower.

 

“What’s wrong?�

 

“She’s in labor.� Nina yelled over her shoulder as she helped Kiki back inside.

 

Wasting no time they set in motion their plan of action. Frederick followed them into the house and ran down the hall to Kiki’s room to get her overnight bag while Nina was putting her in the car. Sitting in the back seat keeping her calm, she started making phone calls, first to the doctor to let her know Kiki was in labor and on the route to the hospital. Within seconds, Frederick was jumping into the driver’s seat and they were off to welcome the newest member of their family.

 

Pulling up at the hospital entrance, there was a nurse waiting at the curb with a wheel chair. With contraction that were now 15 minutes apart and pain that had only gotten worse since her water broke, Kiki was too happy to accept the ride.  Being wheeled into the maternity wing, she briefly caught a glimpse of Lynn, Paul, Maya, Derek, Tami and Joey sitting in the waiting room. She gave them a tight smile as she was whisked away with her mother at her side. Frederick stayed behind to do all the necessary paperwork and waited with the others until she was situated in her birthing room.

 

After examination, Kiki was told she was over 8 cm dilated, but her doctor was going to wait until she was farther along to give her an epidural as not to slow down her labor. Initial, she was understand about it, but then another contraction hit her and for the first time she cried out as she held on tight to the bed rail with one hand and her mother’s with the other. She didn’t know how much longer she had to go, but she knew she’d be thanking Jesus when they did administer those drugs.

 

After the doctor left the room to check on another patient, her entourage was allowed into her room and each took a turn at trying to help soothe her and keep her mind off the pain. She appreciated their efforts and loved having them all there, but it really wasn’t doing a damn thing to help her. Still, it was touching to having their constant support even when she was snapping at them. Of course they understood that her anger was pain induced and she didn’t mean anything she was saying. They actually found it amusing especially when she got on Joey, but he deserved it for bringing up a touchy subject at the wrong time.

 

“Decision time Kik: is it going to be Justine or Justina?� He let out an obnoxious laugh that no one copied.

 

Kiki was panting harshly, her face sweaty and her hair was all over her head. But she still managed to direct a death glare at him. The longer she stared, the angrier she got as his comment course though her mind. Before anyone could stop her she grabbed the plastic pitcher next to her bed that was filled with ice chips and flung it across the room, right at his head. Luckily Tami saw it coming and pulled her idiotic boyfriend out the way so that it barely missed him.

 

“Do you really think reminding me of the asshole who did this to me is conducive to your health?!� She hollered and Joey shook his head adamantly with abject fear in his eyes. “Then SHUT THE FUCK UP! AAH!� She screamed as another contraction ripped through her body.

 

Joey did exactly as he was told and stay silent, only speaking words of comfort and encouragement to her from that point on.

 

Finally it came time for her epidural and soon after Kiki was ready to give birth. With the exception of Nina and Lynn who she asked to be by her side, the doctor and nurses ushered everyone out.

 

It took a total of 16 hours of labor before Cheyenne Jocelyn Lewis was born on April 12, 2004.  

 

Kiki’s tears of unbearable pain changed to those of overwhelming joy the second she heard her baby crying out her arrival into the world. After a quick check up and clean up, a nurse placed Cheyenne into her mother’s arms for the first time. Kiki was in complete awe as she stared at the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life.

 

Little Cheyenne had an elven-like face with full head of curly dark brown hair, cute little ears that stuck out slightly – like her father, unlike him - thank God - she had a small button nose, and full lips. As expected she was tiny, but it only made her even more adorable and it was love at first sight for Kiki.

 

Lynn and Nina stood to the side holding hands with tears in their eyes as they watch Kiki and Cheyenne, each reminiscing on their own experience with the most joyous day of a mother’s life. After sharing a few moments together, mother and daughter were briefly separated so they each could be thoroughly examined and Kiki could be settled in her hospital room. Assured that Cheyenne would be perfectly safe with a nurse and her grandmothers escorting her to the nursery, Kiki let herself be succumbed to her exhaustion.

 

 

 

Waking up an hour later, she was still tired, but too anxious to see her baby again. Before she called the nurse, feeling sore and grimy, she slowing got out of her bed and took a warm, relaxing shower. After changing, feeling clean and refreshed, she settled back into her bed and finally called for her little girl. She didn’t have to wait long for the nurse to walk in with a little pink bundle in her arms.

 

“Hi Mommy.� The woman greeted Kiki as she placed the baby in her arms.

 

“Hi Cheyenne.� Cradling her sleeping baby in her arms, Kiki kissed and nuzzled her face. She felt tears of joy well in her eyes when Cheyenne snuggled back into her, sensing her mother’s presence.

 

The nurse interrupted briefly to inform Kiki that after a complete physical, despite being a little premature, Cheyenne got a clean bill of health. All the little one needed now was to get a full tummy so she helped Kiki get situated to nurse her for the first time. Once she was sure they were all set, she left mommy and baby to themselves.

 

As Kiki nursed, she held Cheyenne close, stroking her soft cheek and watching her the entire time. She could feel her bond with her daughter deepen and she knew feeding time was going to be one of her favorite times shared with her little girl.

 

When Cheyenne was full and burped, Kiki cradled her in the dip of her thighs and unbundled her to give her an exam of her own.

 

“Well kiddo you got all your fingers and toes-ys.� She played with her little feet, jiggling them around and kissing the soles. It was then that Cheyenne let out a soft, content coo. “Oh look at that. I got you talking to me already. That’s because you know my voice don’t you, don’t you? Niña bonita de Mamí.� Cheyenne cooed again as if she knew exactly what her mother was saying to her. Leaning down, Kiki peppered her face with kisses. “Now all you have to do is open those eyes so we can finally see each other. Cómo sobre él, mi amor.� She took hold of one of her hands and smiled wildly when her fingers wrapped around one of hers in return. Kiki kissed her little knuckles and when she pulled back, she saw her wish come true.

 

Cheyenne’s little eyes cracked open and Kiki wasn’t surprised to see that they were blue. “Looks like those cute little ears aren’t the only thing your Daddy gave you.� She sighed and said mostly to herself. “I just can’t get away from those blue eyes can I?� Taking a good look at her baby’s blues, she beamed. “But guess what? They’re more beautiful on your precious face.� She tickled her tummy and got another gurgled coo.

 

Enjoying her one on one time for a little longer, Kiki finally relented to sharing Cheyenne.

 

“Okay sweetheart, I think its time we let your family come visit. Are you up for some visitors? They’re probably foaming at the mouth waiting to see you.� She felt a chill in the air so she bundled Cheyenne back into her blanket.  “As soon as you get sick of them you let me know okay? And let me tell you, you will get tired of them.� she cooed again and Kiki was so happy to see how responsive and interactive her baby was. It was going to be so much fun watching her grow up and experience the world around her. Stroking her soft curls, she kissed Cheyenne’s nose before calling the nurse and telling her she was ready for visitors.

 

Not five minutes later, Kiki sat in her hospital bed laughing as she watched the anxious group practically charge into the room. They may have already seen Cheyenne through the nursery window as they waited, but it only made them antsier to see her in person.

 

Nina, being the first to enter, wore a wide and proud smile as she looked at her glowing daughter holding her granddaughter. “Hijita you’re glowing.� She gushed.

 

Kiki laughed softly, feeling the glow her mother referred to. “Hi Mamí.�

 

“Hi Mamí.�  They both giggled and Nina came to the side of the bed, lying a kiss on Kiki’s cheek. Frederick soon joined his wife on one side, while Lynn and Paul were on the other, giving her hugs and kisses. The end of the bed was circled by her siblings and friends. They were all leaning over the bed trying to get a peek so she positioned Cheyenne in her arm in order to give everyone a decent view of her.

 

“She is absolutely gorgeous.� Tami beamed.

 

“Yes she is. You did a beautiful job baby.� Frederick leaned over Nina and kissed Kiki’s forehead.

 

“Thanks Daddy.�

 

“So what’s her name?� Maya asked the question they were all anxiously waiting to get an answer to.

 

“Everybody meet Ms. Cheyenne Jocelyn Lewis. Cheyenne meet your family.�

 

“Oh cute name Kiki. I like it.� Maya, Tami and Marissa all agreed as if their opinion really mattered. Kiki rolled her eyes at her lifelong peanut gallery.

 

“So who wants first dibs?� She looked between the two set of grandparents.

 

They looked at each other from across the bed, both sets wanting to be the first, but also wanting to give the other the honors.

 

“Go ahead, go ahead.� Nina and Frederick offered the Harless’.

 

“You sure?� Paul asked even as Lynn was reaching for her.

 

Nina laughed at Lynn’s eagerness, knowing the feeling. “Yes. You two go first ‘cause I might not give her up.�

 

Kiki passed Cheyenne to Lynn and she gently pushed the blanket that blocked her face from full view. As soon as she saw Cheyenne she was momentarily started. Concerned about the brief tension Paul sensed from his wife, he rubbed her shoulder, soothingly. Lynn looked up at him with watery eyes and smiled. “I’ve seen this beautiful face before.� She said low enough that only he could hear. Paul nodded knowingly and kissed the side of her head to comfort the sadness she was feeling even though this was a happy occasion. She let herself feel sorry that her son was missing out on seeing this precious miracle come into the world before she squashed it and basked in the joy of having her granddaughter in her hands.

 

“Hi Cheyenne. Happy Birthday darlin’.� Paul shook one of her little hands. She wriggled and made little noises in response that overjoyed the grandparents.

 

Meanwhile, Nina and Frederick were fusing over Kiki, making sure she was okay. She assured them that she was tired but she was fine, they both were fine. Next she let her siblings and friends fawn over her and tease her about how she resembled the chick from the Exorcist while she was in labor. Kiki blew them off, but then put JC, Rhea, Marissa and Trent on blast for their absence.

 

“And look at you punks showin’ up after the hell I went through.� She joked, understanding they were probably tied up doing their own thing. All that mattered was that they were there now.

 

“From what I hear I’m glad I wasn’t here.� JC patted Joey on the shoulder. “Right Joe?� He laughed at his friend’s sneer.

 

“Aww yeah.� Kiki winced.

 

“’Aww yeah’? That’s all I get? ‘Aww yeah’. You almost took my head off.�

 

Kiki gave him a pointed look that reminded him of what brought on her wrath.

 

“Right, you’re right.� He nodded and cheesed at her. “You did an awesome job though Kiki.� He clutched her hand as the others proclaimed their agreement.

 

“Thank you.�

 

On the other side of the room, Lynn was passing Cheyenne over to Nina and Frederick and the four grandparents were all huddled together, doting on the infant.

 

“She is going to be a spoiled rotten brat. Just like her mama.� Derek teased from his perch at Kiki’s side on the bed. She nudged him and he hooked an arm around her neck to kiss the top of her head.

 

After the grandparents had their fill, Cheyenne was passed off to Tami who was surrounded by Joey and JC and then off to Maya who had the two married couples hovering over her. Kiki could see the affection towards the baby was pouring off of each of the new aunts and uncles. Every single one of them was making fools out of themselves as they goo-gooed and ga-gaed to Cheyenne.

 

“She’s a little bit. How much does she weight?� Maya asked, gently bouncing her in her arms.

 

“5 lbs. 11 oz. and 18 inches long.� Kiki announced proudly.

 

“A 5 lbs. dumbbell huh? I could do a decent workout with that.� Derek joked as he reached over Maya’s shoulder and tickled Cheyenne’s chin. “Let me borrow her when I go to the gym tomorrow.�

 

“Oh whatever Derek. She may be little, but she’s perfect.� Watching everyone bask in her baby, Kiki started feeling a little possessive and decided she wanted her baby back. Reaching out for her, Maya put her back in her mama’s arms. Kiki gazed down at her, the most beautiful and perfect thing she’d ever done. We’ve ever done. “Lynn.� She called to her, but with her eyes still glued on her little Cheyenne. She just couldn’t take her eyes of her.

 

“Yes, honey?�

 

“You can go call him if you want.�

 

A silence fell over the room and everyone peered at each other, wondering if Kiki was serious.

 

Lynn’s face lit up with hopeful anxiety. “Really? You don’t mind?�

 

With a 100 watt smile on her face that seemed permanent, Kiki told her. “There’s not much that I do mind right now.�

 

Lynn nodded and excused herself to go make the phone call. Finding a cell phone friendly area she dialed his number, but got his voicemail so she left a message before returning to the baby huddle.

 

“I thought you might like to know that you have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.� Lynn gushed over the line. Remembering why she was making this phone call in the first place, she paused to let out a dismayed sigh. “I know you’ll do the right thing one day honey. I love you. Bye.�

 

An hour after the call was made, Justin sat in his living room listening to the message, alone and crying. The constant regret he felt was bearing down on him now more than ever. His daughter had been born and he didn’t even know what her name was, what she looked like. What was worse was that all he has to do was make one phone call to change that and end his misery, but he was still so afraid that he didn’t have what it took to be a father. He was letting his fears cripple him and now all he had to live with was knowing once again, he’d let the best things that ever happen to him slip right through his fingers, first Kiki and now his little baby girl.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Cheyenne had been home for three weeks and Kiki had yet to have an empty house. Someone was always at her condo, stopping by after work to “check� on them – more like slobber all over Cheyenne. Her mother and Lynn were the worse, but they always came with a home cooked dinner for Kiki so she kept her mouth shut about their pestering. She knew a part of their frequent visiting had a lot to do with her being a first time mother, but it wasn’t long before they realized she knew exactly what she was doing and need no real help. Motherhood turned out to be second nature to her.

 

Within their first week out of the hospital, Kiki and Cheyenne did have one visit that was greatly anticipated for both good and not so good reasons. Sadie and Bill were on a plane to LA the day after they were released and Kiki was nervous about how the encounter with the Bomars would go this time around.

 

Lynn called before they were due to arrive to confirm the plans for dinner at her house the next day and she swore to Kiki that she had nothing to be concerned about. Her parents knew the truth about the whole situation since Kiki had given her the green light to tell them and they understood.

 

“I bet that understanding came after they called me a liar, right? Like you basically did?� Kiki laughed, only half joked.

 

“Tssh.� Lynn replied in mocking offense. “I apologized for that and no they-“ She knew that Kiki knew bullshit when she heard it so Lynn didn’t even bother to finish that lie. “Okay they did, but I assured them that Cheyenne is 100% my grandbaby.� Kiki snorted dubiously. She and Lynn had discussed Justin’s “golden child� status in his family and how it blinded them to the more negative aspects of his personality. It was hard for her to find out her son wasn’t as perfect as she wanted to believe he was and the same when for her parents. This whole mess was a rude awakening for them all. “They are going to take one look at that pretty little face and fall in love.�

 

“I hope so Lynn. I hope so.�

 

On the day of the lunch date, Paul answered the door for Kiki and as she expected, just like everyone else, he greeted the baby before greeting her.

 

He took the carrier from her and moved the blanket out of the way to see Cheyenne’s sleeping face. “Hey they’re darlin’. How’s grandpa’s little princess doin’?� Turning to Kiki, he leaned in and hugged her. “How are you doin’ darlin’? You’re lookin’ good.�

 

“I’m doing very well, thank you.�

 

“That’s great to hear.� The smile he was giving her was not just an empathic one, but one of reassurance as well. She was good, but not that good at hiding her nervousness at the moment. “Well everyone is in the living room. Don’t be scared. I can tell you that Sadie and Bill aren’t angry or resentful towards you. So relax okay?� He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

 

“Yeah. Okay.�

 

“Follow me then.� Walking behind Paul through the foyer, they made a right into the spacious, yet inviting living room. “Look who stopped by to say hi.�

 

“Hi sweethearts.� Lynn came right out of her seat, making a b-line to Paul and stole the carrier from him. She took it back to her seat smoothly removed her granddaughter.

 

While she was hogging the baby, Sadie and Bill approached Kiki with soft smiles, trying to ease any tension she might be feeling. Before she arrived, Lynn had told them about Kiki’s concerns that they would be upset or distrusting of her. Sadie would admit that initially she was suspicious, but common sense kicked in and she realized the girl had no reason to lie. She wasn’t demanding anything from Justin or dragging his name through the mud. By proxy she was actually protecting him with her secrecy. If anything they should be thanking her from allowing them to be apart of their great granddaughter’s life despite their grandson’s actions.

 

“Well I think being a mama has made you even prettier honey.� Sadie pulled Kiki into a hug and releasing her, she cupped her face. “Welcome to the club.�

 

“Thank you Mrs. Bomar.� Just as it was in the past, Kiki’s nerves dissolved and she immediately felt comfortable in their presence. “Hi Mr. Bomar.� She moved over into his open arms and they shared a hug as well.

 

“It’s Bill and Sadie young lady.� He corrected and Kiki smiled. “Congratulations.�

 

“Thank you.�

 

“Mama, Daddy come meet your great granddaughter.� Lynn called to them now that she and Paul were ready to share.

 

“Excuse us sweetie, but you understand that you don’t exist anymore right?�

 

Sadie was laughed and so was Kiki, knowing exactly how it was. “Oh yes I am well aware that I don’t count to anyone anymore.�

 

Sadie and Bill went to join the doting grandparents and Lynn passed the baby into her mother’s arms.

 

“Mama, Daddy meet Cheyenne Jocelyn Lewis.�

 

Holding the tiny infant that was now awake, Sadie let out an awed sigh as she peered at her precious face. “My God, she is beautiful and look Bill she’s got your blue eyes too.� He reached over and stroked her downy curls as she squirmed and yawned softly. “Hi there dumplin’.�

 

They all eventually spread out around the living room, Sadie and Bill taking turns hold Cheyenne as they all talked and got reacquainted.

 

It was a warm night so while the men were in the kitchen - for a change - cleaning up, the women were out on the deck eating dessert and talking, Cheyenne nodding in the sling strapped across Kiki’s chest.

 

Lynn had made a cherry pie that was to die for and Kiki had no shame in her game when she went for a second piece. The pie was closest to Sadie so she offered to get the piece for her.

 

“Now honey before you dig into this pie. There’s something I want you to understand and clear the air about right now.�

 

Putting her dessert off to the side, Kiki gave Sadie her undivided attention. Lynn had also turned all her interest onto the imminent conversation.

 

“I want you to hear it directly from me that I’m not angry nor do I blame you for this predicament that my grandson has created.� Kiki nodded her comprehension of the truce. She was happy to have confirmation from the horse’s mouth that Sadie would not be an enemy for wrongly faulting her. “In fact I respect you for the way you’ve handled this. You could have taken your revenge by exploiting the situation or keeping that precious baby away from us. Instead you were a lady and an adult and that is something to be proud of.�

 

“Thank you. I’m glad there aren’t any bad feelings between us over this. Not only because I think you’re a great person to know, but for Cheyenne’s sake, I want us all to be able to get along.� She looked over at Lynn who took her hand and gave it a supportive squeeze.

 

“And we do, don’t ever worry about that. You’re family now.� Kiki smiled at the matriarchal acceptance and Sadie reached over to hug her.

 

“I’m just sorry you have to go through this. It’s sad, ironically sad actually. You know with Justin himself having an estranged relationship with his father.� She looked over at her daughter who agreed whole-heartedly which made her son’s behavior so upsetting and confusing. “He’s always felt like Randy had somewhat abandoned him and now he’s turned around and did the same to his own child.� Sadie shook her head pitifully. “I just don’t understand it.�

 

Taking a sip of her white wine, Lynn shrugged. “I guess the cycle won’t be broken this generation around.�

 

“What did Randy have to say about all this?�

 

“He’s disappointed like me and Paul and apparently he and Justin got into an argument about it. One that didn’t go well at all and they haven’t talked since.� It had been almost 2 months since father and son talked and as stubborn as they both were, their standoff probably wouldn’t be coming to an end anytime soon. “I don’t know all the details. You know I took myself out of Justin’s affairs with his father years ago after he got mad at me for ‘meddling’ so I really don’t know.� What she did know was that when Randy tried to berate Justin for being a bad father, Justin came back with “it takes one to know on Dad.� Lynn could only guess that was probably the last thing said between the two.

 

“Hmmph. I can tell you this much I had to say a prayer on the plane over here so I didn’t go straight to that boy’s house and whip his tail.� Kiki choked back a giggle as that image ran through her head.

 

“Now Mama we talked about that.�

 

“I know and I didn’t come out her to talk about him or see him. He’ll have to come back home for his talkin’ to. I want him on my turf when I remind his lanky ass just where the hell he came from.� Kiki was barely holding it together listening to Sadie’s rant. It was petty, but satisfying thinking about the punishment Justin still had coming to him from his grandmother. “Now I have said my peace in present company. Let me see that baby again. She’s the best thing to come out of this mess.� Kiki took Cheyenne out of the sling and handed her over to her great grandmother for what seemed like the hundredth time today.

 

For the rest of Sadie and Bill’s week visit, Cheyenne was spoiled with affection and gifts, like the shopping spree that Sadie took her on with Lynn and Kiki accompanying them. That same night the Bomars came with Lynn and Paul over to the Lewis’ so everyone could meet. Once again the families proved to be able to mesh well together and share in an enjoyable evening.

 

Sadie and Bill’s last day in LA came with promises from them to visit often and from Kiki, to keep them updated in between that time via videos and pictures. Although, the new great grandparents were going back to Tennessee with a slew of picture taken over the week as is. By any means necessary the couple was determined to be a part of Cheyenne’s life and Kiki was just as set in her decision to let as much family as possible into her little girl’s world. Despite all the past, present and future bullshit and drama between the adults, love and support would be the only thing to touch Cheyenne Lewis.

 

Life - the good and the bad – goes on with obstacles that challenge a person’s will and blessings that make it all worthwhile.

 

It took heartache and abandonment for Kiki Lewis to get Cheyenne, the joy of her life. Looking back on the past two years she couldn’t say she wouldn’t do it all over again if it meant she didn’t have her baby’s beautiful smiling face looking up at her when she went to wake her each morning. Not that she ever felt like her life was in disarray, but having a child centered Kiki and gave her life such meaning, her happiness was now her daughter’s happiness, safety, and well being. She may have been a young working woman raising a child on her own, but once Kiki adopted a routine for their life, it was easy fulfilling those needs for Cheyenne. Part of that was using the all day in-house daycare that Key West had for staff and members. When Kiki’s maternity leave ended, Cheyenne came to work with her and only being two floors down from her office, it made checking in on her and nursing very convenient.

 

As for her down time, well her little girl was the first grandchild of two sets of grandparents and the first niece to a horrid of aunts and uncles including three couples who saw watching her as practice. It provided Kiki with plenty of babysitters when she was in a pinch, but in generally her neighbor’s teenaged daughter was a licensed babysitter and had offered her services when she was pregnant. Kiki thankfully took advantage. With such a high requirement for totally dedication that came with being a parent, Kiki knew she was fortunate to have a happy and healthy baby that she was able to be an on-hands mother for all the while maintaining a successful, lucrative business and have a social life. She counted her blessings everyday, especially as she watched her baby grow with each passing moment.

 

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There were some days when she could just watch Cheyenne and her interaction with everything around her all day as apposed to going to work. Whenever that feeling struck, Kiki would remember she was her own boss and after a sub was secured for her classes, she took the day off to do just that. She and Cheyenne would spend those days hanging out in the house, just playing on a blanket spread out on the den floor while listening to music or out and about enjoying the sun. It was during those quiet times that Kiki witnessed a lot of Cheyenne’s milestone.

 

Starting with the first time she smiled genuinely and it was the most beautiful gummy smile Kiki’d ever seen. Then there was the first time she sat up and rolled over. Using the camcorder that Derek and Rhea had given her as a shower gift, she’d been able to capture a lot of her firsts on tape so she could share them with the family and Cheyenne when she was older.

 

While Cheyenne was perfecting her motor skills, she was also proving herself to be a motor mouth – babbling in response to whoever was talking to her. To Kiki’s delight she even responded when Spanish was spoken to her. To survive in the Lewis family, she would definitely need to be skillful in bilingualism.

 

At four months when she started Cheyenne on solid foods, Kiki found out that her daughter had a wide variety of food preferences with varying levels of like and dislike. For example, she hated mashed peas to the point where she cried the first time she had them and everything there after; whereas, she loved cereal so much her little legs would get to kicking and she’d babble happily when it was fed to her. The day of her introduction to a menu of solid foods, with the comical array of expression Cheyenne went through, was quite entertaining and one of those precious moments that was etched in Kiki’s memory forever.

 

Not long after that, to everyone’s surprise, Cheyenne started crawling. It was almost as if she said “forget waiting,� she wanted to be able to get around like everyone else, now. And she did. She was all over everyone’s baby proofed house getting into everything. Naturally, talking and walking came next. With their strong bond it was no surprise that Cheyenne’s first word was Mommy or as her 11 month old pronunciation allowed – “Ma-mee.� Kiki cried and laughed when she heard her baby’s cute little voice for the first time. 

 

It was a tiring time for the new mom, keeping up with such an active and energetic child, but it was a good tired, a satisfying exhaustion. Like after a dance class or a show, only about a hundred times more fulfilling. Kiki used to think that feeling she got when she danced couldn’t be found in anything else, but a smiling and laughing Cheyenne changed that and everything else in her life.

 

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While Kiki was experiencing one of the most profound changes in a person’s life, life sure wasn’t boring for everyone else around her.

 

The parents of the inner circle were busy basking in the new milestone in their lives: Grandparenthood. For years now they had been enjoying have their kids out of their house, for the most part anyway, but it was nice to have a baby running around again. A baby that went home at the end of the day leaving their time to themselves and they used it to enjoy their new friendships. Nina and Frederick found themselves joining Lynn and Paul’s bowling league while Lynn and Paul joined Frederick at Rodrigo’s to take Nina’s salsa class. It was finally time for the older folks to have just as much fun as the youngsters.

 

And said youngsters were still doing it up all around LA, but their booming professional and/or personal lives were growing more significant.

 

Going on 3 years, Derek and Rhea were a couple of old marrieds, but still crazy in love with each other. Rhea had decided to go back to school for her Master’s in Communications, putting her in top position for a promotion as a production manager at the news station she worked for. Derek was by her side supporting her every step of the way. When they both weren’t hard at work, being the only other younger married couple, every now and then they went out on double dates with the newest old marrieds, Marissa and Trent. Even though their marriage hadn’t changed their friendships with everyone else there was a new dynamitic to their relationship that was more relatable to Derek and Rhea than the others, not to mention Trent and Derek were already close as fraternity brothers. The foursome just needed to do their own thing sometimes and it wasn’t held against them.

 

Maya, the next in the line of Lewis children, was busy juggling work and a new relationship very different from any other she’d been in. Being the control freak that she was, Maya usually dated guys that were; to be blunt, pushovers, but that never lasted long because she really needed a strong man who could handle her strong personality. That man was Sage Hill, a photographer that she met at a photo shoot she was overseeing for her company’s summer catalog. Sage had a combination of assertiveness that wasn’t overbearing, a layed back attitude and irresistible charm that complemented her personality perfectly. He mellowed Maya out a little and once she gave the relationship an honest effort, she found that their similar personalities meshed very well together. Those familiar with her track record saw the couple’s potential themselves when she brought him to Sunday dinner, a big step in a new relationship – including significant others in a family function – for all the Lewis children. Nina, Kiki and Tami immediately approved of Sage’s cool, confident and funny demeanor not to mention his gorgeous face and hot body. Of course following the norm Frederick and Derek didn’t like him on sight, giving Sage intimidating attitudes and pulling him aside to “talk�. Sage stayed cool through it all, passing what was really a test and eventually earning respect from both Lewis men. Overtime he also became another member of the inner circle, mixing well with everyone and going club hopping with the gang from time to time.

 

As for the adopted Lewises: Alex was still doing his thing in NYC, landing roles in more than a few on and off Broadway productions. His relationship with Reed Cordes, who he met a few months after the tour ended, was still going strong. Reed was an advertising exec that he met one night at a wrap party and they hit it off right from the start. After being together for three months, Alex brought Reed to LA with him for the first time and he was welcomed with open arms just as Alex was with Reed’s family. His own may have rejected him, but Alex now had two families that cared for him and accepted him unconditionally. In spite of the Velezs, he had a fulfilling, happy life that he was very thankful for.

 

Next up was Tami, specifically Tami and Joey who had taken the leap and moved in together. Tami had never been happier or more content with her life. Joey was just as much in love with her and with his broadening career, he was living the life. In addition to a few acting roles and hosting gigs he landed, he was working on a production level for Jive now as an advisor on a panel responsible for recommending new scouted artists for contracts under Jive, other Sony BMG labels or to be passed on to another company all together.

 

There was still life beyond ‘N Sync for JC too as he became a sought after producer with a golden touch. He had multiple successes with some of Jive’s new artists and with a couple of movie scores he worked on. He was flying all over the world making music for others, but all the while keeping up with his own for his solo projects. Professionally his life was on point; personally it was another matter all together. He had dated frequently and was still looking for the right girl. The right girl who according to the new group of women in his life, would not be found in the “gold digging hoochies he was running around with�. Nina had even tried to set him up with some of the young women who took classes at her studio. He declined and she conceded, stating that the offer was still standing whenever he was ready. He appreciated the underlining concern in their meddling, but he was determined to find his dream girl on his own. He still had faith that she was out there waiting for him.

 

 

 

As a group of adults, life and all it had to offer was old news for the inner circle, but it was a whole new world to Little Miss Cheyenne. So far the experience was pretty good for probably the most happy and agreeable baby that anyone who knew her ever encountered. It wasn’t long before quite the personality started to come out of her that made just as much of an impact on her surroundings as they were making on her. She always had a smile on her face and an adorable giggle, both infectious, but she did have a sensitive and shy side at times. The most impressive thing about Cheyenne though was her intelligence at such a young age. Her high level of maturity and quick comprehension of new discoveries had people only half joking when they called her a baby genius or as Joey put it “a smarty pants�. Her bright and dazzling personality wasn’t the only thing that made her irresistible. Cheyenne was a beautiful child. She may have shared features with her parents such as a big, bright smile like her mother or cerulean eyes like her father, but the rest made up a look totally of her own. One that earned her the nickname Pixie because of the combination of her cute little ears, her now more prominent elven face and her tiny physique. According to her Grampy – Frederick - she looked like she should be “flying around sprinkling pixie dust on people or something.� The new name fit and it caught on quickly not only because of her appearance, but because of the light that, that little Pixie face exuded was unforgettable and impossible to ignore.

 

 Of course the biggest impact Cheyenne made was on her family. She was the little darling, the axis of the group, the one who brought them all together, but at the same time she shared an individual connection with each of them.

 

Tami and Joey were named her godparents at her christening and they took the role very seriously, building a strong bond with their goddaughter. After a long and tiresome debate with herself, Kiki decided that should something happened to her in the immediate future and that bastard still didn’t step up in her absence, her best friend and her boyfriend were the best fit. She loved Marissa, but Kiki wanted Cheyenne to be with family and Derek was on the road a lot, Maya was in no way ready to take on the responsibilities of a parent and neither was Alex. Tami and Joey would create a stable loving home for Cheyenne and keep her well connected with the rest of her family. Thankfully everyone agreed and there was no drama because it was a tough decision for Kiki to make. No mother wanted to have to think about leaving their child at any point in her life, but tomorrow was not promised. If she had to, Kiki was leaving her baby in safe, loving hands.

 

Cheyenne’s christening was a beautiful occasion. In town from Tennessee for the event wasn’t just Sadie and Bill, but Randy, Lisa, and his parents as well, meeting their granddaughter and great granddaughter for the first time. They all were just as smitten with her on sight as the rest of her great and grand parents. Conveniently, Alex was already in town for his monthly visit home that he’d been making since Kiki was pregnant. He said that with the family growing, more now than ever they had to stick together. And that was exactly what the christening was, a moment of unity and celebration among a group people all connected by the love for one little girl.

 

Cheyenne was very lucky to have her life enriched by them all, especially when she was already down one parent. Not that it was impossible for a child to thrive in a one parent home, but there was no telling how it would affect her in the future. Fortunately, she had a lot of father figures to make up for the loss and no one was more serious about it than Derek. Work may have had him travelling frequently, but when he could he made it a point to spend at least on day a week with his niece. His dedication to her was partly due to his thinking that Cheyenne was an extension of Kiki. Since both his sisters were born it had been his job to protect them. He couldn’t protect Kiki from Justin, but he could and would protect Cheyenne. Without her father there he felt like it was his job to pick up the slack. And Cheyenne adored her Uncle Derek just as he adored his little CJ – his own nickname for her. He said Pixie was too wimpy for a little girl who could hold her own, usually by biting or pulling hair, in a wrestling match with him or Joey.

 

While Uncle Derek and Uncle Joey were “toughening her up so she would be a strong woman when she grew up,� Uncle Josh spoiled and pampered Cheyenne like a little princess. Every time he was traveling for work he sent her a package with a souvenir from wherever he was and/or some toy he thought she’d like. She already had a curio in her bedroom full of figurines from around the world, the center piece being a little tiara he picked up over in England. “Because ever little princess needs a crown� his note had said.  

 

“An 8 month old with a tiara. I’m a grown damn woman and I don’t even have a freakin’ tiara, but she does.� Sitting at her kitchen table laughing with her sisters and Marissa, Kiki shook her head at the sight of her little girl reclining in her walker chomping on a teething ring with the piece of jewelry perched on her curly head, totally oblivious. Grabbing her camera she took a quick shot to preserve the outrageous moment.

 

While the uncles were teaching Cheyenne how to be tough or to be a princess, the aunts were in charge of beauty, fashion and attitude. Not even a year old and Cheyenne had a closet full of “I saw this and thought it would look adorable on her� clothes from her aunties. Since she was the newest chica, just a miniature sized, she was occasionally allowed to join the big girl luncheon and spa days. By the time she was a year and a half, to go along with a wardrobe and mannies and peddies fit for a diva, she had developed a little diva-tude that popped out at times and she even learned how to do the neck roll – a skill that Kiki knew came from Aunty Maya directly.

 

Even with all that, when it came to nurturing Cheyenne’s spoiled streak, the worse by far were Gigi and Grampy, and Nonnie and Pop Pop. Better known respectively as Nina and Frederick and Lynn and Paul. Their titles were courtesy of Maya who said Cheyenne had too many grand and great grandparents to do the traditional Grandma and Grandpa, plus she was “too cool for normal�. Lynn and Nina showered her with everything under the sun while Frederick and Paul treated Cheyenne as if she could do no wrong, she was after all their Pixie and little darlin’.

 

 

 

With all these influences, Kiki had to keep a tight watch on the way they affected her daughter. There was nothing wrong with Cheyenne growing up to be a strong assertive woman who strived for the best – the type of personality that her family was trying to nurture. That was exactly what she hoped her daughter would grow to become…to an extent. She was not about to raise a bratty child who thought she was grown and gave her attitude when they inevitable clashed. No, no, no that was not going to happen under her roof so Kiki took steps to make sure she was the authority that Cheyenne minded. It didn’t matter what Aunt Tami or Uncle Josh said, in some respects it didn’t matter what Gigi and Nonnie said either. What Mommy said and did was Law. That impression worked with Cheyenne and despite being spoiled, she was not a brat. She understood the word “no�. Sure she pouted, but she never threw a fit when she couldn’t get what she wanted and as much as a toddler could she appreciate everything she had.

 

Cheyenne may have had a village to help raise her, but no one was more essential than her Mommy. Kiki was her primary source of guidance, love, comfort, and friendship. Being an only child, Kiki had to be playmate as well as mom and she never hesitated to get elbows deep into whatever activity her daughter asked her to participate in. Sometimes, Kiki actually had more fun playing with a bucket of building blocks on the living room floor with Cheyenne, than she did going out to the club with her friends.

 

Their unequivocal value in each other’s lives went both ways for mother and daughter. After a long day at work seeing her little girl was always the highlight of Kiki’s day. And when she arrived to pick up Cheyenne from daycare, her little face would light up at the sight of her mother and she’d either reach out for her or once she was capable, made a mad dash into Kiki’s arms. It was hard for her to be away from her mother at times and it was only when she was in the presence of family or one of her caretakers that she felt comfortable and even that didn’t last long. Separation from her baby wasn’t easy on Kiki either, the first week back to work she was downstairs every hour on the hour checking on her. They both just needed a period of adjustment before they were comfortable being apart. But even when they were together, once Cheyenne learned how to move around, she was Kiki’s little shadow. At that age though following her mother around was out of admiration and learning through mimicking rather than clinginess. After she got the hang of doing a lot more things on her own, Cheyenne became an independent little woman. However she was still growing and independent or not, there were some things that only Mommy could provide. And whenever she was needed Kiki would be right there for her for the rest of her life.

 

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Cheyenne was thriving in her natural bonds with her family members, but when she was 11 months old, she created a bond all on her own. Robbie Taylor was also 11 months old and was the new kid to Key West’s daycare. From the start he and Cheyenne got along famously and by the end of the day when it came time to go home the two babies had a fit when they were separated. During that incident Kiki meet one of her newest club member Alana Taylor as they tried to separate their children calmly without anymore tears.  The two mothers joked that their kids had just found their BFFs. Or in the words of Lynn, Cheyenne found herself a Trace, a correlation that Kiki did not care for. But it became more and more apparent that, that was exactly the case when time and time again Cheyenne and Robbie spent almost all there time in daycare playing with each other. Eventually while watching their kids together through the viewing window Kiki and Alana became friends and they started having weekly playdates. It was a chance for the kids to interact outside of daycare and a chance for the mommies to form a friendship themselves.

 

With so much love and happiness circling her, Cheyenne already had the best thing life could give a person; however something was still missing. As of now she had no clue what that was, but one day she would figure out that she was lacking in what Robbie or even her mother had. It would probably be a sad day when Kiki sat her down to tell her the truth, but what was more saddening was that, that missing link was a messily hour’s drive away from her.

 

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Living fabulous in his million dollar home in a gated community up in the Hollywood Hills, Justin Timberlake was on top of the world. His solo album and tour had been a hit, he was branching out into acting and he was dating one of the industry’s hottest actresses. Everyday was a party for him with endless resources to get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it.

 

But behind the veil of fame and fortune his personal life was in shambles. He was miserable, barely living with his regrets and the pain over being without his child, not to mention being estranged from his family and friends. He dealt with it by working constantly or partying hard with Cameron, Trace and Elisha, but neither were exactly healthy and they didn’t work at all. Everyday his first and last thoughts were of Cheyenne and even Kiki, who he still held a deeply hidden torch for.

 

When in public, he did a good job of hiding his problems. There were days when his depression was too much and he either isolated himself or walked around with a pissy attitude – flipping people off and the like. Chalking it up to your typical mood swings, Cameron let him be to work through it on his own. Trace, who knew the real reason behind his behavior, worried about his best friend, especially when it appeared as if Justin was using more and more alcohol to cope. He couldn’t do anything about it though. Justin had to fix his mistakes on his own before he lost any chance at having a relationship with his daughter or drank himself to death.

 

In the past when his life was in turmoil and he was depressed, Justin would find refuge at his mother’s home, but now that was the last place he wanted to be. Her house was over flown with painful reminders, pictures of Cheyenne and her toys scattered around. But at the same time of it wasn’t for his mother he probably would have never found out her name or seen her face.....

 

“Ma! Where are you?� Justin called out after coming up empty on the first floor.

 

“I’ll be right down.� She responded from somewhere upstairs.

 

Knowing his mother that meant it would be at least five minutes before she was ready so he went to wait in the living room. This afternoon he was taking her out to lunch since he hadn’t spent any time with her in awhile. They both had been busy living their own lives, plus the strain on their relationship lately had them avoiding the awkwardness that lingered around them during their meetings.

 

Taking a seat on the couch, Justin grabbed the remote off the coffee table and began channel surfing. Nothing good was on so he turned the TV off and looked around for a magazine or something to read. When his eyes passed the mantle above the fireplace, he did a double take. All along the mount were pictures of his family, himself and a little baby girl that he knew the identity of without question. Almost entranced by the photo, he walked over to the other side of the room and with a shaky hand, picked the frame up. There she was his daughter, curled up on her side, fast asleep with her tiny fist tucked under her chin. Dropping onto the arm of the recliner behind him, Justin held on tight to the picture and stared at the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Tears stung his eyes as he traced her face, memorizing ever detail. She looked so small and innocent, and a burn started in his chest that reminded him that he willingly walked away from this little angel.

 

God what is she going to think of me when she grows up?

 

At this point whether he showed up in her life or not, he was positive she’d grown up to hate him when she found out the choice he had made. There was no way he could handle watching her grow up and loving her only to have her hate him in the end. No, he shook his head furiously at the thought. The best choice had been made and his only option now was to live with the consequences.

 

 

Unbeknownst to Justin, Lynn was standing in the doorway watching him. She had to fight every maternal instinct that told her to run over and comfort him when she heard his sniffles as he traced his daughter’s face. This was one conflict in his life that she could not fix.

 

Coming out of his stooper and sensing he wasn’t alone, with an almost compulsive need to know, he spoke up. “What’s her name?�

 

Startled by his voice since she thought he hadn’t noticed her, she hesitated before answering. “Cheyenne Jocelyn.�

 

He nodded morosely. Now he had a name to go with the little face that was permanently imprinted in his mind. They both would haunt him for the rest of his life, but that was only a morsel of what he deserved.

 

He wiped away a tear that ran down his cheek as the constant ache he felt inside throbbed, but it was quickly replaced by a stream of tears. The last thing he wanted was to be seen crying over this in front of his mother and then have to see the look of pity on her face.

 

Placing the picture back on the mantle, he cleared his throat and excused himself. “I uh I have to use the bathroom. Be right back.�

 

He may have left the room with his head cast down, but Lynn knew he was crying. “Oh Justin.� She sighed regretfully for her son. She never liked seeing him in pain, but in this case he made his bed so he would have to lay in it.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Kiki could believe it, it seemed like just yesterday she was looking at her baby girl for the first time. Now here she was taping up balloons and streamers in Lynn and Paul’s backyard for Cheyenne’s first birthday party. Just thinking about the best moment in her life had Kiki in tears throughout the day with either her mother or Lynn offering comfort and understanding. However, the happiness that accompanied the tears was welcomed as she watched her baby’s special day unfold.

 

Kiki had hired a trio of performance clowns to put on a magic show, do face paintings and make balloon animals. Cheyenne was having a ball, running around in her party outfit with her friends from daycare. Of course Robbie was right at her side since the two were practically attached at the hip.

 

The adults, parents of the kids in attendance and friends of the family, were enjoying the finger foods prepared by Lynn and Nina while they mingled and watched their children play. Derek and Frederick were on camera duty, taking turns running behind Cheyenne capturing her every move. The rest of the family had also pitched in to help out with the party. The guys were “bartending�, handing out water and soft drinks to the adults and juice boxes to the kids. The girls were jeans and t-shirt clad, right alongside Kiki, helping to corral the kids and keep them engaged in the show. In addition to preparing the menu, Lynn and Nina were fluttering around sharing hostess duties.

 

After the christening party had taken place at her parents’, it was Lynn and Paul’s turn to host a party for Cheyenne. The plans for the party had been made with their house in mind a long time ago without regard to the move opening up an opportunity for someone to figure out Cheyenne’s paternity. While she was pregnant Kiki had separate showers for fear of that occurring, but now that Cheyenne was here, she was not about to slight her daughter to cover Justin’s ass. Lynn had been all over LA with Cheyenne since here birth and no one batted an eye. Even if they did her child had family that loved her, screw Justin and his career, she wasn’t going to bend over backwards to keep his secret. There still was Cheyenne’s safety to consider should the truth be revealed so Kiki continued to be cautious and wasn’t planning on put out a full page announcement in the paper. But if it was discovered, she was prepared to do whatever necessary to protect her baby. In the meantime, Cheyenne had a lifetime of birthday parties to celebrate with her entire family. Watching her happy face as she opened each of her gifts and then feeling exceptional pride as she toddled over and gave a hug and “tank you� to each person who gave her a present. Kiki would accept nothing less than this for Cheyenne.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The celebration of Cheyenne’s first birthday may have been a bright and happy occasion in one part of LA, but it was quite the opposite in another.

 

Just like he had planned, after going out to take care of some business, Justin barricaded himself in his house with a few bottles of Jack Daniels and sat all alone in his den wallowing in his misery. Having instinctually memorized the day of her birth, he knew today his daughter was a year old. He could only image how much she had grown…Grown without him because he was too much of a coward and too selfish to do right by her. He was a failure and he hated himself for it. Anger building inside, he screamed at his self “you’re a fuckin’ failure!� and hurled the half empty bottle across the room. It shattered against the wall, spraying alcohol all over the opposite side of the room, but he could care less. It didn’t matter. Nothing matter except for the fact that his daughter had been in this world for a whole year, without him. 

 

Please forgive me Cheyenne…...

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

After her first birthday, time continued to fly by and Cheyenne had grown tremendously. She was a walking, talking little person, still with the same bright, sensitive and shy personality, but the baby genius inside of her had made a definite appearance. Already she was showing signs of being a future academic with her penance for toddler puzzles, which she was very good at and had a crazy determination to complete, building toys and books. She couldn’t read yet, but she would still pick out some books and get comfortable on the couch to “read�. Kiki figured she used the pictures to make up her own stories, either way it was more than the average toddler was doing at this age. Not that she was bragging (buffing her nails on her shirt).

 

Alongside that advanced intellect came an independent streak a mile long. When she was about 17 months, baby gates and her crib went out the window. She had figured out how to open the gates and then she’d just crawl up or scoot down the stairs to get where she wanted to go. After waking up to find Cheyenne standing next to her bed two nights in a row, Kiki got rid of her crib and replaced it with a toddler’s bed. She seemed set on escaping her little prison and Kiki didn’t want her to break her neck however she was doing it, so she found the perfect solution that kept Cheyenne safe and her nerves intact. Of course these new developments meant Kiki had to come up with a new set of rules and maneuvers to keep up with her maturing daughter. Ever respectful and well mannered, Cheyenne followed the rules a majority of the time, but she was a child, and every once and awhile she tested her boundaries. In response, Mommy was there every time to put her in check. Nonetheless Kiki couldn’t ask for a better daughter, she was a happy and loving one that blossomed in a healthy childhood full of constant and unconditional love and support.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

So there you have it, the good hand and bad hand that life can deal you. But those hands can change from one to the other in an instant. For 20 months you had a family of people who all shared a connection in a beautiful little girl, living happy and healthy; however, there was one piece missing to the puzzle. No matter how much they liked to believe otherwise, they weren’t a complete unit without him. And that missing piece was miserable living on the outside.

 

It all changed December 2005……

 

It was going to be Cheyenne’s first real Christmas; one that she’d be actually conscious of and genuinely enjoy. It was supposed to be a happy time for Kiki, decorating, running around playing Santa, getting Cheyenne's presents and thinking about how excited she was going to be when she opened them. Instead she was nursing a sick toddler through the up and coming holiday yuletides. Cheyenne had been to the doctor’s already and was declared flu-ridden. He put her on antibiotics and gave Kiki some home care instructions. After finishing those antibiotics and spending a week at home, Cheyenne was back to herself. Unfortunately her good health didn’t last long and it took her less time to get sick again than it did for her to get better.

 

Kiki was in the middle of teaching class when Karen, the daycare manager, called her to come and check on Cheyenne because she didn’t look well. Kiki immediately cancelled class and went to see what was going on. The minute she saw her baby sitting in Karen’s lap, looking pale and groggy, Kiki took her out of daycare and they went to her office to call her doctor and see if he could squeeze them in. Unfortunately, the nurse informed her that the doctor was out of the office for the day. Taking her advice that according to the symptoms she described, it was just a relapse, Kiki took Cheyenne home for a little TLC. She scheduled an appointment for tomorrow so Cheyenne could get on another round of antibiotics and until then Kiki was sure she’d be fine.

 

 

Dinner time came around and despite Cheyenne’s lack of appetite all day, Kiki was going to try once more to get some solids into her.

 

“Alright Pixie face. Mommy’s got some yummy chicken and stars for you.�

 

With a Backyardigans lap tray in her hands, Kiki walked into the den, where she left Cheyenne watching a movie, to find her asleep. As much as she knew her baby needed to rest, she needed to eat even more. Setting the food on the coffee table, Kiki sat on the edge of the couch next to her and tried to wake her.

 

“Come one sweetheart its time to eat.� Getting no response, Kiki stroked the side of her face and felt her skin burning up. “Oh God.� Panic welling up inside of her, Kiki frantically checked her neck, chest and back for a fever. She was so hot that she was sweating and Kiki went into full panic mode. Only minutes ago she was fairly okay, for her to take a turn for the worse so quickly, she knew something was terribly wrong. “Cheyenne baby, wake up for Mommy.� Again she got no response, so with a shaky hand, Kiki checked her pulse. Thankfully she had a steady on, but they still needed to get to the hospital immediately.

 

Wrapping her listless body in her blanket, Kiki clutched Cheyenne to her chest and jetted out of the den. Not even bothering to put anything on her feet and barely swipe her purse off the side table, she hurried out of the condo. Practically running down to the garage, she strapped Cheyenne into her seat, jumped into the driver’s side and sped off to the emergency room at Cedars Sinai.

 

Unconcerned with her car parked in a no-park zone, Kiki got Cheyenne out of the back and ran into the ER, making a b-line for the front desk.

 

In a terror filled voice, she exclaimed to the receptionist. “Please help me. My daughter is burning up and she won’t wake up.�

 

There may have been a waiting room full of people ahead of the young woman, but an unconscious child was most critical. “Okay Ma’am, a nurse is on the way.� The receptionist voice was calm and collective in an attempt to relax the frantic mother as she reached over and pressed the call button for assistance.

 

Seconds later, a nurse opened the hospital floor door and hurriedly herded Kiki into triage. Reaching an examination room, reluctantly she released Cheyenne into the care of the hospital staff. Like a zombie in a daze, she stood to the side, tears running down her face, as she watched the nurse put Cheyenne on the bed and start hooking her up to monitors and IVs.  She wasn’t even aware that a doctor had entered the room until he started asking her questions.

 

“What’s your daughter’s name Ma’am? How old is she?�

 

On autopilot, she responded. “Cheyenne Lewis. She’s 20 months old.�

 

After checking a few of her vitals the doctor grabbed the electronic thermometer and gently placed the probe in Cheyenne’s lax mouth. “Was she sick before this?�

 

“Yes. She had the flu, but after she finished her antibiotics she was fine. Until today.� A machine started beeping and Kiki felt her heart jump into her throat. It may have been the thermometer instead of the heart monitor, but the resulting number flashing on the screen didn’t ease her fear. “Oh God 103! What’s wrong with her? What’s wrong with my baby?!�

 

“We’re going to find that out. Just calm down Ma’am.�

 

Suddenly the machine beeped again and the nurse notified the doctor. “Sir.�

 

He looked up and muttered. “Damn.�

 

Kiki had already turned her attention to the monitor and even without his explicit, she knew Cheyenne was not doing well at all. Her temperature had jumped to 104.

 

“Okay keep pushing that antibiotic and get some ice packs. We have to bring her temp down stat!�

 

Feeling her world begin to splinter at the thought of losing her child, Kiki watched, froze as nurses started rushing in and out of the room with ice packs and were covering Cheyenne’s tiny body with them. One nurse started drawing multiple tubes of blood and every alarm inside of Kiki set off, waking her out of her daze.

 

Running on instinct, all she could think was that she needed to get to her baby, her baby needed her. “Cheyenne!� Kiki yelped and tried to rush through the mass of nurses, but as if she expected her charge, one of them whirled around and stopped her.

 

“Ma’am please you have to stay back.�

 

“I have to be with my daughter!�

 

“Ma’am please. The doctor is doing everything he can for her, but he can’t do that if you’re in the way.� The nurse besought Kiki as she gently pushing her out of the room. “Just please follow me.�

 

Kiki let the nurse direct her to the triage’s waiting room knowing her resistance would only make it harder for Cheyenne to get the best care possible.

 

Dropping into one of the plastic seats, she closed her eyes and started breathing deeply. Please God, please. Don’t…Don’t let anything happen to her. Please get her through this. Please protect her.

 

The nurse had left her side for a moment to get an aide to assist the little girl’s mother so she could get back to her patient.

 

“Excuse me Miss.� The aide approached the woman with silent tears running down her face. Being a mother herself she sympathized with her right now. “My name is Amy. Is there anything I can do for you? Is there anyone I can call?�

 

Kiki opened her bloodshot eyes and looked up at the aide. Right now the only thing she wanted was for this not to be happening, but this woman had no control over that. However, she could definitely make a phone call for her because she was sure she would breakdown before she got a word out. “Yeah um, can you call my parents?� She muttered out, tears distorting her voice.

 

“Sure Miss.� Amy took Kiki’s offered cell phone and finding “Mamí and Daddy� on her contact list, she went to the nearby nurse’s station to place the call “Hi. My name is Amy Baker. I’m a nurse’s aide here at Cedars Sinai and I’m calling to….�

 

The conversation faded into the background once Kiki knew her parents were being notified and no doubt on their way. She couldn’t wait until they were here because right now she needed them more than any other time in her life. Her mind was all over the place, going over every possible scenario that could explain what was happening to her child and what she could have done differently to prevent this. All she did know was that she felt completely helpless and utterly terrified. The possibility for the worse thing to happen in her life was knocking at her front door – her baby’s life was in jeopardy and she couldn’t stop it.

 

“Okay Miss. They said that they’re on their way.� Kiki wiped her damp eyes and took her phone back. “I know the last thing you want to do right now is paperwork, but it’s a necessary pain in the ass.� Amy quipped with a smile trying to ease her anxiety.

 

Kiki looked at the clipboard with the forms attached to it. All that information they needed that was completely useless to Cheyenne. They didn’t tell what was wrong with her or how to fix it, but she had to fill them out to ensure those questions got answered. So Kiki took the clipboard and pen, and after retrieving her insurance information from her purse, she quickly finished the forms.

 

She was left alone again when Amy went to process the information and it was another fifteen minutes before a man in a lab coat, obviously a doctor approached her.

 

“Hi Ms. Lewis. I’m Dr. Harry Sabine. How are you?� He wore a warm smile and his demeanor was so welcoming that despite her turmoil, she cracked a polite smile.

 

“I’ve been better.� She shrugged and sniffling slightly, she wiped her nose with the tissue Amy had given her. “What’s happening to my daughter?�

 

“Well...� He opened his coat and sat in the seat next to her. “She’s still unconscious, but that’s just her body’s way of protecting itself. Conserving her energy so she can fight this infection. Her temperature is still elevated, but is has stabilized and we have moved her to an isolation room up on the fourth floor. The room is built in a way that minimizes the risk of further infection and at this time only authorized personnel, including myself have access to the room. I know it sounds like a prison or something, but it’s just a safer environment that gives us more control over the situation. And that betters our chances of breaking her fever all together. Okay?� Kiki nodded, telling him that she was following his clear and concise explanation. The thought of Cheyenne being so sick and separated from her was heartbreaking, but she was prepared to do whatever necessary to help her daughter get well. “Now I need, Cheyenne needs you to keep an open, positive mind when I tell you this.� Kiki tensed as her fear mounted again, but she stayed calm. Whatever was coming she had to keep it together. “I’m a pediatric oncologist and after reviewing your daughter’s blood work results, I found that Cheyenne’s white blood cell count, which is the number of immune cells in her blood, is very low. That in combination with her flu like symptoms and some bruising we found - overlooked I’m sure because evidence like that is usually contributed to normal toddler aged clumsiness.� He took a moment before revealing what potentially could break this almost despondent mother, and put a comforting hand on her forearm. “I believe that Cheyenne has acute myeloid leukemia.�

 

Kiki’s mouth parted sharply as the breath was knocked out of her. She felt like her world was crumbling around her, her heart was slamming painfully into her chest and she couldn’t catch her breath. Oh God, oh God no. Please no. Not my baby. Please, please let this be a nightmare. She started sobbing out loud and in earnest, her body shaking in devastation.

 

Watching the young woman fall apart at the news, Dr. Sabine grabbed her hand in a show of consolation. He was a father of two himself, he could only image the pain she was experiencing right now.

 

“Kiki!� A male voice caught their attention and Kiki’s eyes darted in the direction of her parents walking toward her.

 

“Daddy!� She rushed out of her chair and stumbled into Frederick’s open arms, sobbing into his chest.

 

“Oh God hijita. What’s wrong?� What’s happened to Cheyenne?� Nina asked, arriving at Kiki’s side with her husband and wrapping her arms around them both.

 

Neither she nor her husband had ever seen their baby girl like this, she was always so strong. As Frederick held their child, immense fear came over them both at the state Kiki was in. Something was gravely wrong.

 

Dr. Sabine saw that Kiki was unable to answer them at the moment, so he took it upon himself to explain. “Excuse me. I’m Dr. Harry Sabine. I’m Cheyenne’s oncologist.� He extended a hand to Nina as he tried to reveal his identity with ease.

 

Nina stuttered in her return of the hand shake and reply. “On-Oncologist?�

 

Kiki pulled away from her parents then. “Cheyenne has leukemia.� She blurted out, trying uselessly to wipe away her insistent tears.

 

“Oh dear God.� Nina gasped.

 

Fredrick let out a hard exhalation and looking down at Kiki, he caressed her face, trying to soothe her. It was worse than all the possibilities that had been running through his mind since they got the phone call. “How could this happen?�

 

“To be honest sir, we don’t know.�

 

“It’s Frederick and Nina. Lewis.�

 

“Mr. and Mrs. Lewis we don’t know the cause of this particular form of leukemia especially when it effect children as young as Cheyenne, but we do know how to treat it.�

 

“And that is?� Kiki, now more composed, asked. She had to keep herself leveled and focused for her daughter. No matter what she would always stay strong for Cheyenne, her baby, her purpose.

 

“Uh, how about we sit down?� He gestured to a group of seats. They all moved further into the lobby and Dr. Sabine grabbed a chair, placing it in front of the family so they all could see him as he explained.

 

“For this type of leukemia, that attacks the bone marrow, the best treatment is intense chemotherapy and once all the cancer cells have been destroyed, a bone marrow transplant to replace the lost immune cells.�

 

No relief was offered to Kiki when the options were reviewed because she knew that “a sibling is her best chance at a donor match right?� She sighed dejectedly. “Something she doesn’t have.� As far as she knew, Justin had no other children. I guess I’ll be finding out for sure very soon.

 

“Yes the ideal donor is a sibling, but any blood relative can be a match. A stranger could be a match, I mean that’s why we have the National Bone Marrow Registry.�

 

“And every possible donor on that list will be checked right?� Frederick inquired, almost demanded.

 

“Absolutely. I just need Kiki’s authorization to put Cheyenne on the bone marrow transplant list.� He looked at the now much more composed mother.

 

“You have it without question.� She nodded vigorously.

 

“Then I’ll take care of that, but as I said that’s just one source for donors. I need your help for the other.� Kiki, Nina and Frederick listened avidly ready to get right on whatever they had to do to help Cheyenne. “I need you all to get yourselves tested and get in contact with all immediate family and local friends so that they can be tested as well. That’s possible right?�

 

“Yes.� They answered in unison.

 

Dr. Sabine smiled encouragingly. “Good then I’ll go do my part and you go do yours. Together we’ll to our best get Cheyenne healthy again.� They all nodded their compliance. “Alright let’s get on it.� Like a football team breaking from their huddle, they all stood up prepared to do their part. “As soon as you’re ready you can go right up to the fourth floor. There's a family room adjacent to the isolation room so you can at least keep an eye on Cheyenne. We’ll meet back up there.�

 

“Thank you Dr. Sabine. Thank you so much for everything you’re doing for my daughter.�

 

“You’re welcome Ms. Lewis. I promise you I will do my best for her.� Kiki gave him a thankful smile and suddenly reached over to hug him. This was the man that was going to save her daughter, she had to hug him. He accepted the embrace and then excused himself.

 

Breathing deeply and gathering all her courage to prepare for this battle for Cheyenne, Kiki turned to her parents and they started dividing up a contact list.

 

“Okay I’ll call Derek and Maya. You call Tami and Marissa, and….�

 

“I’ll call Lynn and Paul.� Kiki interrupted her mother’s instructions.

 

“Are you sure honey? We can make all the phone calls.�

 

“No. I have to make this one especially because I need her to make a phone call of her own. The most important one.�

 

Nina and Frederick looked at Kiki, knowing she was about to open herself back up to feelings she had put aside since before Cheyenne’s birth. This crisis was about to reunite a lot of people and bring a lot of emotions back to the surface for all of them.

 

“Come on we have to go to a cell phone friendly area. There’s one down here.� She pointed to the hallway next to the waiting room and together they made their way to the designated area.

 

Each taking a corner of the room to make their calls, Kiki stood in hers and composed herself before speed dialed the familiar number.

 

“Hello,� answered the tired southern drawl over the line.

 

“Lynn, its Kiki.�

 

Lynn sat up in her bed, feeling a wave of apprehension come over her considering the hour Kiki was calling, not to mention the tremble in her voice. “Hi honey. Are you alright? Is everything okay?� Her sudden movement and shine from her bedside light being turned on woke Paul.

 

Reining in her tears, Kiki continued the conversation. “No it’s not. I need you to get in touch with Justin and ask him to get to Cedars Sinai now. I need you and Paul here too.�

 

Knowing she would only ask for Justin under one condition, Lynn’s apprehension went straight to fear. “Something’s happened to Cheyenne.� It was a statement not a question.

 

Kiki explained to Lynn what had happened and what the doctors had found out from Cheyenne’s blood test results and the treatment she needed, specifically that everyone including Justin needed to be tested for a donor match.

 

While dressing herself and throwing clothes at Paul, Lynn assured Kiki that even though he was in New York, he would be at the hospital as soon as possible even if she had to go get him herself. 

 

Once their conversation ended, Kiki left her parents to finish their calls and went to the fourth floor ahead of them. She may not be able to sit at Cheyenne’s side, but right now she needed to be as close to her as possible.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Hurrying out of the house, Lynn and Paul rushed to their car while she dialed Justin’s cell.

 

“Helloooo,� the clearly inebriated voice answered. Rolling her eyes and cursing she hung up on him, knowing in his state nothing she said would get through. Instead she called Lonnie, he no doubt would be capable of getting her son out of wherever he was and back to LA.

 

“Lonnie.�

 

“Hi, this is Ms. Lynn, hun I need you to listen carefully okay? This is an emergency.� She said calmly, not wanting to get herself worked up about the message she had to pass on. “Lonnie wherever Justin is now, you have to get him out of there and on the next flight back to LA. Sober him up however possible and get him to Cedars Sinai ASAP.�

 

When Lynn said it was an emergency, Lonnie immediately started scanning the VIP crowd for Justin and the nearest exit. His eyes landed on Eric who was at the bar talk with one of the club’s bartenders. Making eye contact Lonnie gave the signal for him to get the car and pull it up to the side entrance. His attention never fully leaving the conversation, he asked, “What’s wrong Ms. Lynn, are you okay? Is Paul okay?�

 

“Everything’s fine with me and Paul.� She took a deep breath before she continued to calm her nerves. “It’s Cheyenne.� Being a witness to most of Justin’s benders lately, Lonnie knew from his drunken babbling that he had a kid and at the mention of her name, the seriousness of the situation was driven home. “She’s in the hospital and Justin needs to get there immediately to get tested for a donor match.� Lynn’s next words made Lonnie very fearful for the little tyke. “She’s been diagnosed with leukemia.� She choked out suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the emotions she was trying to control.

 

Seeing his wife’s distress, Paul reached over to gently rub her back and in return she gave him a hollow smile. The brief look they shared conveyed all the fear they both felt at the thought of the danger their granddaughter’s life was in.

 

Without further hesitation, Lonnie headed toward Justin and his entourage’s table while promising Lynn that he would be on the next flight out. “I’m on it Ms. Lynn, Justin will be in on the next flight to LA.�

 

Ending the phone call with a “Thank You� Lynn let out a small sigh of relief. At least Justin would be arriving at the hospital soon, and then the only thing they could do was pray for a match. Oh God, please, let there be a match somewhere. We can’t lose Cheyenne.

 

 

 

Stopping briefly in his pursuit to get to Justin, Lonnie called Eric. “Hey are you at the car yet?�

 

“Yeah what’s up?�

 

“We gotta get back to LA right now. I’ll explain later, but I need you to call JFK and La Guardia and get us five spots on the earliest flight that we can make in time.�

 

“Got it.�

 

They hung up and Lonnie continued to barge through the crowd towards the table. Reaching Justin’s side, he immediately grabbed him up out of his seat and quickly ordered. “Let’s go.�

 

“Hold up man. What going on? It ain’t time to go yet.� Justin asked, while trying to pry his arm out of Lonnie’s grip.

 

“Look J, we gotta go now. I’m not kidding and I’ll explain it in the car.� Lonnie again tried to pull him toward the exit. Looking on in confusion with Cameron and the rest of their friends, Trace decided to butt in.

 

“Lonnie dude chill, the night’s not over yet.� He smiled to ease the tension in the situation.

 

“Trace this is serious man, you need to be helping me get him out of here.� He looked back at Justin and said loud enough for only him and Trace to hear. “You gotta get to the hospital back in LA. Cheyenne is really sick, it’s serious.� He didn’t know how to tell him that his little girl’s life was in danger, but he didn’t have to.

 

Justin could tell by the look on his face and fear like he never felt gripped him, sobering him up almost instantly. In the blink of an eye, he composed himself enough to rush toward the exit of the club without a word, expecting whoever planned on joining him to follow. Lonnie took up his position in front of Justin to ward off anyone who would try to cut their pass. Cameron who had no clue what was going on, collected all their things while Trace ended the night with their company and went to the bar to pay the tab. He didn’t knowing what to think now that the unspoken topic of Cheyenne was showing itself in the worst possible scenario.

 

Less than 10 minutes later the black SUV they arrived in sped out of the club’s parking lot on its way to JFK.

 

After getting his rising panic under control and taking a swig of the bottle of water Lonnie had chucked at him, Justin started asking questions. “What the hell is going on Lonnie?�

 

“All I know is your mom was trying to call you earlier, but you were too drunk to answer her so she called me and told me I had to get you to Cedars as soon as possible.� Before he dropped the worse of the news, Lonnie turned around in his seat to face him. “Cheyenne was admitted there and she’s been diagnosed with leukemia. They need to find a bone marrow match from either someone in the family or an anonymous donor. Most likely you or Kiki. Your daughter needs you man.�

 

His words left the car in silence for the rest of the ride to the airport, everyone lost in their thoughts. No one more thoughtful than Justin, the news Lonnie just deliver made him feel like someone had sucked all the air out of his body. This couldn’t be happening, not to Cheyenne, she was only a baby. God please don’t do this. Don’t take her away. Not now. As tears welled up in his eyes, Justin dropped his head into his hands and when intense grief struck him those tear rolled down his cheeks and he started sobbing.

 

Hearing his cries Cameron wrapped her arms around him and whispered words of comfort in his ear. Even though she was just now finding out that Justin had a child, she put her confusion and anger aside to give him comfort.

 

Unfortunately, at the moment nothing could make him feel better. In the worse possible way, he was truly realizing what a mistake he made in abandoning the treasure he had in his daughter and that it could be too late to fix it. I may never get the chance to get to know her, to hold her and tell her how much I love her. Those thoughts made Justin cry even harder.

 

Seeing him completely break down, no one knew what to do and could only sit and watch, feeling completely helpless.

 

 

 

With all the late night traffic, it was almost an hour later that they arrived at the airport and everyone got out and headed toward the check in counter to pick up their tickets. Going through security quick, due to their lack of luggage, they settled into the waiting area at their flight’s gate. Thankfully boarding would start in the next 15 minutes, but it seemed like hours away to Justin and everyone else. Considering the somber mood they were all in, the wait was very quiet, none of them knowing what to say.

 

Justin sat lifelessly into a seat, his mind racing and his heart breaking. Lonnie and Eric were close by talking amongst themselves while Trace stood near the window trying to reach Lynn on his cell phone. Cameron, more lost and confused about what to do than anyone, approached Trace. She needed at least one of her many questions answered. Justin was in no state to do that, but Trace, she knew without a doubt could give her one.

 

“Damnit.� He pulled the phone away from his ear and shook it. It was the third time he tried to get through to Lynn with no answer. He knew if she was at the hospital already, she might had turned it off.

 

“No luck?� Cameron asked.

 

“No, but I’m gonna keep on trying.�

 

“What exactly is going on Trace? Justin has a daughter?�

 

He sighed deeply before he began. “Listen I can’t explain his actions, I really don’t know why he hasn’t been there for her so you’re going to have to get that information from him. But I can tell you that – yes he has a daughter named Cheyenne. She’s about a year and a half, I think. Her mother is the girl he was dating before you and uh, he made the choice to not be involved in her life. It’s been eating at him for awhile now, but this, this is killing him.� They both looked over at Justin slumped in his seat, not moving and just staring off into space.

 

After seeing Cameron unsuccessfully comfort his best friend, Trace decided to take a shot.

 

“I’m gonna go talk to him. Can you uh call the hotel and check us out? Have them put our stuff in storage or whatever. They can just bill Justin whatever fees they need to for that.�

 

“Sure.� She pulled out her own cell and began to make the call. It was a much need distraction from all the confusion and saddness going on around her.

 

Sitting in the seat in front of Justin, Trace tapped him on the knee to get his attention.

 

“You okay man?�

 

When he looked at him, Trace was taken back for a moment. Justin was a mess, his face was tear-stained, and his eyes were puffy and blood shot from crying. But what stuck him the most was that in the 25 years of friendship he had never see that dim look in Justin’s eyes, he was hurting bad and scared to death.

 

Knowing his best friend could read the pain and fear he was openly expressing, Justin fell apart again. “I fucked up so bad. What am I going to do if she doesn’t make it?� He cried and frantically muttered. “I – I need to talk to my mom. I need to know what's going on.�

 

“I’ve been trying to call and haven’t gotten through, but maybe you can.�

 

Justin didn’t hear a thing Trace said, too focused on dialing the number with a shaky hand. “Hello.� As soon as his mother’s voice can over the line, he broke down once again. He needed her more now than ever to comfort him and tell him everything would be okay.

 

“Mama..� His voice trembled before he started sobbing again. On the other line, Lynn couldn’t help but tear up as well at the misery in his voice.

 

She and Paul had arrived at the hospital and after seeing Cheyenne, her emotions were so raw, it didn’t take much to set her off. Still she had to keep her son composed especially when he was so far away and in need of support.

 

“Sweetie, you have to calm down alright? Everything is going to work out fine. You just get here in one piece. The doctor's taking really good care of her and she’s a strong little girl.� Needing to send strength to her own baby, Lynn said with strong conviction. “We will find a match I know it in my heart.�

 

“I just feel so helpless, Ma, not being there with her. I’m such a fuckin’ idiot for all that time I wasted. What, what if she doesn’t make it?� Tears streaked down Justin’s face as his heart squeezed with regret.

 

Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.

All the things we should've done,
That we never did.

All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.

 

“Don’t you think that Justin! She will pull through and you’ll have the rest of your life to make it up to her and be the best father to her.�

 

The confidence in her voice gave him a little solace, but he just wanted to be in LA with Cheyenne. “Thanks Mama.� Just then a flight attendant came over the loud speaker to announce that they would be starting boarding for first class. “Ma I gotta go, they’re starting to board the plane.�

 

“Okay baby, just keep it together and be safe getting here. I love you.�

 

“I love you too. Bye.�

 

For the next 3 hours of the flight Justin sat silently by the window lost in prayer and thought.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

They arrive in LA at six in the morning and the car that they call for was there waiting. They piled into the SUV and zoomed off to the hospital.

 

Justin was the first one off the elevator when they arrived on the pediatric oncology floor, headed non-stop toward the nurse’s station.

 

“Excuse me Ma’am, can you tell me where Cheyenne Lewis’ room is please,� was his hurried request. After that flight that felt like forever, he was more than anxious to get to his daughter. Seeing the nurse pull out a sheet of paper that read C. Lewis: Visitor’s List, he quickly said. “My name’s Justin Timberlake.�

 

A look of recognition came over the nurse’s face. The oncology staff had already been informed of his arrival, in addition to his role as the child’s father. Despite patient privacy laws they were still swore to secrecy regarding the current events in the superstar’s life involving the patient. It was the usual protocol when Hollywood stars showed up at the hospital, the staff gossiped like mad among themselves but nothing was said to outsiders. It was part of their job to protect the patient’s privacy and they were vigilant about that responsibility, particularly with the younger patients.

 

“Oh. Mr. Timberlake, we’ve been waiting for you to arrive. Cheyenne is in room 4614, but at this time she’s still unconscious so you’re going to have to go to 4614A which is the adjoining family room. That’s where everyone else is waiting.�

 

“Why can’t I go into her room and sit with her?� Justin was very confused; he wanted to be with his child not in a room separate from her.

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Timberlake, but she’s in isolation right now. The leukemia has weakened her immune system tremendously. Her being unconscious attests to how taxed her body is and having anyone other than authorized personnel in her room at this time would put her at higher risk of infection.�

 

Confused, tired and frustrated Justin rubbed his hands over his face and said. “Alright 4614A right?� The nurse nodded and pointed towards the room. “Thank you.� He turned to walk in the direction she indicated.

 

“I’ll notify the doctor that you’re here and he’ll be there as soon as he can to speak with you.�

 

“Thanks.� Trace replied for Justin because he hadn’t stopped when she started talking again and was almost to the room.

 

Inside room 4614A, people were situated in various spots of the mock living room. It was set up as such; beige painted walls with overstuffed floral sofas and chairs, end tables, a television set and paintings on the wall, all in an attempt to provide comfort to visiting family members. Unfortunately it did nothing for the people in that room right now.

 

The inner circle sat around talking quietly about anything and everything, trying not to think about the little girl that they all loved so much, lying unconscious in the other room. Sitting on the sofa against the same wall as the viewing window, the sight of the group of women sitting there could break a person’s heart.

 

Kiki sat in the middle of that sofa watching every single rise and fall of her daughter’s chest, completely oblivious to anyone or anything around her. Her mother and Lynn sat by her giving her support in a situation that only another mother could truly understand. Even though she gave no outward response, she treasured the presence of her whole family who had been surrounding her since this whole ordeal started. Nevertheless there was really only one person she wanted and needed by her side and ironically that was Justin. Needing him was something she never thought she’d feel again, but then again she never thought she might lose her baby.

 

Moments later, with the exception of Kiki, everyone’s attention was drawn to the new arrivals when the door opened.

 

“Oh thank God you’re here.� Lynn got up from the couch and rushed over to hug her son.

 

Relief spread through the room, still for the exception of one person and from the minute he walked into the room, Justin hadn’t taken his eyes off of her. She looks so small and fragile sitting there, completely cut off to anything other than what was happening in the adjacent room. His eyes were then drawn to the window and he slipped out of his mother’s arms to get closer.

 

He could see Cheyenne’s small body in the crib with IVs in her arms and an oxygen tube in her nose. His breathe hitched and his heart broke at the state she was in. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard small sniffles coming from Kiki who had yet to show any signs that she knew he was there. He sat next to her and instinctively reached over, wiping a tear falling down her cheek.

 

“Hi.�

 

“Hi.� They both sat there watching their daughter through the window. Despite her lack of response she knew Justin had come, but she just couldn’t face him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect her.� Kiki cried out in anguish.

 

“No, no don’t say that Kiki. Look at me.� Justin reached over and tilted her chin towards him, forcing her to look into his eyes. “This is not your fault, you hear me?�

 

“But if I had known, I should have known something was wrong with my own child. If I had done something sooner she wouldn’t be in there Justin.� Kiki sobbed and he pulled her into his arms. “Our baby wouldn’t be lying in that crib fighting for her life.�

 

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking

 

“Shh. It’s not your fault Kiki. Please don’t blame yourself.� Justin was crying with her and rubbing her back to calm her, as he held her to his chest. “She’s going to be okay. They’re gonna find a match and then she’ll be fine.� Kiki was clinging to his shirt finally able to really let out all the emotions that had been swirling inside her. He was the only one she could do this with, the father of her child. “I promise everything’s going to be ok. We won’t lose her.� Justin kissed the top of her head and they both sat there drawing comfort from each other.

 

Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.

Their family and friends stood around watching the parents holding on tight to each other. They all knew that their own fears and worries were in no comparison to Kiki’s and Justin’s. Hopefully this crisis would be over with soon and none of them would have to sit back and watch an important part of all their lives fade away.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.

Justin and Kiki were still clinging to each other when there was a knock at the door. Sitting in the chair by the door, Derek opened it to see Dr. Sabine had returned.  

 

“Hey Doc.� He greeted.

 

He grinned at the moniker. “Mr. Lewis. Hello everyone, how’s it going?� He noticed the new faces in the room including the man holding Kiki on the couch and he surmised that was his patient’s father. Getting closer look, he recognized the face of Justin Timberlake who was plastered on his eldest daughter’s bedroom wall.

 

Kiki moved out of Justin’s arms and wiped her face as he approached her and Justin. “Hi Doctor.�

 

He grabbed the wheeled stool that stood in corner of the room and sat down in front of the parents. “So I’m guessing this is Dad?� He asked with the same warm smile he’d been wearing since she met him. It was part of his job, keeping the parents as positive about their child’s prognosis as possible so they could be a good support system.

 

If asked, Kiki would say he was doing a great job in that respect. The gesture was a small, but soothing and it was because of his excellent bedside manner that she was able to give a little smile back. “Yeah. Justin this is Dr. Harry Sabine. Dr. Sabine, this is Cheyenne’s father - Justin Timberlake.�

 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Timberlake.� He extended his hand which Justin politely shook.

 

“Same to you and thank you for everything you’re doing for our daughter.�

 

“The staff and I are going to do everything we can to get her healthy again.� He stressed. “At this point I’m hoping that you’re the one who can do that.� Justin looked perplexed. Him? Dr. Sabine read the confusion on his face and asked. “How much do you know about your role in her treatment?�

 

“Just that I could be a donor match.�

 

“Aah.� He looked over at Cheyenne’s paternal grandmother and saw her shake her head. Apparently Mr. Timberlake had yet to be informed of the latest developments.

 

Lynn spoke up to break the news to her son. “Honey.� She started softly, rested a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her. Knowing that tone in her voice, Justin had a sinking feeling that what she was about to tell him was not good. “We’ve all been tested and the registry has been check thoroughly and there’s still no match.� He inhaled sharply as his worse fears were confirmed. Next to him Kiki started crying again, the helpless feeling returning at the reminder that they were running out of options.

 

“Listen I don’t want you or anyone to be discouraged.� Dr. Sabine could feel these people losing hope and he had to keep them optimistic. “There is still a high probability that you will be a match Mr. Timberlake.� He announced assertively.

 

“And if I’m not?� Justin asked bluntly, looking the doctor in the eyes. He didn’t want things to be sugar coated, he wanted full disclosure on what was to come.

 

“How about we cross that bridge when we get to it?� A silent understanding passed between the two men when Dr. Sabine glanced over at Kiki. She was a wreck and her mind was probably already being bombarded with the possibility of losing her baby. She didn’t need to hear it out loud. “For now let’s just do a blood test to determine if you are match. Okay?� Again, Justin nodded gravely. “How about you come with me and we’ll get that done now?�

 

Justin looked to Kiki before he left. A shaking smile appeared on her face and he reached over and hugged her, both of them gripped each other tightly. As they held one another, they both sent a silent prayer up to God for him to be Cheyenne’s saving grace.

 

Following Dr. Sabine out of the room, Justin passed by Cameron and grabbed her hand. He tugged on it slightly asking her to come with him. He had a lot to explain to her and this was the best time, the only time to do so. After this, for the foreseeable future, he was putting his main focus on Cheyenne and building a relationship with her, for whatever time he had left.

 

 

 

Dr. Sabine showed Justin to an exam room where a nurse was waiting to take his sample. She took a few test tubes worth of blood before she bandaged him up and sent him on his way with a Dixie cup of juice. He found Cameron leaning on the wall across from the exam room, waiting for him. Quickly drinking down the juice, he tossed the cup in a nearby trash can and stepped forward to face her.

 

“So ‘Cheyenne’ is your daughter.� She jutted her chin towards the name scribed across his forearm. She had always wondered who the name belonged to, but he refused to talk about it. She figured whoever the person was, wasn’t around now so she didn’t sweat it or force him to reveal their identity. But never in a million years did she think it belonged to his child.

 

Justin rubbed his hand over the tattoo before he pulled his sleeve down. He wasn’t quite ready to let that be seen yet, especially by Kiki. “Yeah.�

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?�

 

He moved to stand beside her and leaned his back against the wall. “Same reason why I didn’t tell anyone. It’s not something you broadcast, I was ashamed of myself. I still am.� He’d probably always be ashamed of the past two years of his life. He couldn’t do anything worse than walking out on his child for honestly no good reason. “I made a big mistake and I’ve got a lot of atoning to do for it.�

 

“Well it’s not like she’ll even remember you not being there.� Cameron shrugged, not really thinking about how callous she sounded.

 

Justin heard it loud and clear, but given the fact that all this was suddenly sprung on her, he let it slide and didn’t bit back. Still he responded with an incredulous scoff as he pushed away from the wall, away from her. “It doesn’t matter if she remembers or not. I still missed everything. The day she was born, her first words, her first steps. I’m missing a connection with my own child that I should have had since, since…God since Kiki was pregnant with her. All because I was a fuckin’ idiot, too wrapped up in myself.� His fists clenched at his sides as a wave of anger towards his self surfaced. He took a minute to calm down and let it go because he’d been granted a second chance. Instead of being angry, he was going to take it and run with it. “But it's not about me anymore, it can’t be. I get that now so I have to refocus my life and concentrate on Cheyenne and being a good father to her.�

 

“What about your work, your career Justin?� What about me? She didn’t dare say it out loud, but that was how she felt.

 

“What does that matter? Who really gives a fuck about my career right now Cam? I know I don’t.� He shrugged and turned away to head back to keeping a vigil over Cheyenne.

 

With Cameron trailing behind him, Justin walked into the docile room and went right back to sit next to Kiki. Nina had been occupying his seat while he was gone, but she made way for him once he returned. In case they were needed and to satisfy their own needs to protect there children, she and Lynn continued to flank them, perched on the arms of their shared love seat.

 

Justin breathed tiredly as he sank back into his seat. “How’d it go?�

 

“Okay, but I won’t feel good about it until I know I’m a match.�

 

“Yeah.� Oh please God let him be a match. Kiki could feel a depressed cloud loom over her again so she kept talking to distract herself. “Um Marissa and my sister-in-law brought some coffee, donuts and muffins in case you’re hungry.�

 

Everyone in the room had either been there or on a plane since early morning, no doubt tired and hungry by now. Thinking they all could use a little pick me up, Marissa and Rhea had left to make the coffee run and returned while Justin was being tested. Both girls were happy to be informed that he had made it to the hospital, but like everyone else, they were still weary that he might not be a match.

 

“Nah I can’t eat anything right now.� Justin replied.

 

“Me either.� She hadn’t had anything in her stomach since last night, but she was too restless over the results to keep anything down. She smiled halfheartedly at him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. The last thing either of them was concerned about was themselves. All they wanted was for Dr. Sabine to return and tell them this nightmare was over.

 

Despite the food and drink now scattered around the room, everyone was relatively quiet. The fear of the unspoken was just too much for conversation. They all knew if Justin wasn’t a match Cheyenne might not survive.

 

 

 

Each second seemed like an hour while they waited. Putting a rush on the results it was a half an hour before Dr. Sabine returned and when the door began to open, they all stopped breathing.

 

He glanced at everyone around the room, but when his eyes landed on the two parents he smiled brightly. “We got a match.�

 

The room burst with happiness and cries of joy. Everyone was hugging whoever was next to them. Derek had actually hugged Dr. Sabine who was standing beside him.

 

“Sorry Doc.�

 

“It’s okay. I’m glad I could bring good news to warrant it.� They both chuckled and Derek turned to envelope his wife in a bear hug.

 

Kiki had burst into tears, folding her body in half as she sobbed for joy in her hands. She started panting for air as immense relief washed over her and her mother was draped over her, rocking her soothingly. In her mind she was thanking God repeatedly for answering her prayers to save her baby. Her precious baby was going to make it, that feeling of hopelessness was erased by promise and joy.

 

Justin was hugging his mother with tears falling from his eyes. After over two years of guilt, shame and self-hatred, he finally felt like it was coming to an end. Not only would the world be okay now that Cheyenne had a donor, but he felt like he was experiencing a moment of redemption. He still had a chance to make everything right with his daughter and give her all the love she deserved.

 

Breaking away from their mothers, at the same time Justin and Kiki recalled each other’s presence and immediately turned to engulf each other in a joyous hug. Kiki’s body sagged with relief and he pulled her close to his chest. Their little girl was going to fight through this battle and they’d have the rest of their lives to nurture her, love her and watch her grow into a beautiful woman one day.

 

“I told you she’d be okay.� Justin whispered into her hair.

 

 She laughed lightly and pulled out of the embrace. “Yeah you did.� She wiped her tears and he slid a piece of her fallen hair from her face before swiping his own lingering tears away. Their private moment of reprieve was interrupted when Dr. Sabine reclaimed his seat on the wheeled stool in front of them. “So it’s almost over right? What’s happens now?� Kiki asked as the room settled down to hear his answer.

 

“Now we wait until her fever breaks.� Initially, the parents sulked at the thought of waiting any longer, but they were aware that this wouldn’t be a quick hospital visit. “As of now it’s down to 101, but I want it below 100 and for her to regain consciousness before we move on. She needs to be as healthy as possible when we start the chemotherapy treatment which she’ll go through for about 2 weeks.� Knowing the effects of chemotherapy, both Justin and Kiki knew those two weeks were going to be hard on Cheyenne. They would have to be strong to help her get through it. “During the first round of treatment we’ll consistently do blood work to check its effectiveness and at the end of the two weeks, we’ll conduct a series of tests to determine if all the cancer cells have been eradicated. If they haven’t, we do another round and continue the same cycle until they have been.�

 

Doing the math in his head, Justin concluded. “So that’s at least a month in the hospital?�

 

“Which means she’s going to be here for Christmas and New Years’.� Kiki stated, depressed by the thought of Cheyenne having to spend the holidays in a hospital. But if she wasn’t in this hospital she might not see another Christmas or New Years, she reminded herself. “Well then I guess we’ll just have to bring Christmas and New Years to her here.�

 

“Nice positive attitude, that's what I like to hear. It’s an unfortunate situation, we know and that why we have a Santa Claus come in and visit the kids here.� He saw her perk up at the idea and hoped what he still had to tell wouldn’t bring her back down. “I want to be straight forward with you though, her stay will most likely be more than a month because even after the transplant she’ll need 2 weeks to recover and met the criteria for discharge.� a month and a half, at the very least, was still a long hospital stay, but however long it took, they had and they would keep the faith that when it was all over, Cheyenne would be healthy again. “She has a long road ahead of her, but her chances at a full recovery are excellent.�

 

Looking back at her baby through the window, Kiki couldn’t help, but feel anxious for the day she could take her out of here. “She’s not going to be in that room for the whole time is she?�

 

“Oh no. When her fever breaks she’ll be transferred to a long term treatment room. It’s very much like this room and there are accommodations for you both so you can stay with her for the duration.�

 

“Perfect because I don’t plan on going anywhere.�

 

“Neither of us are.� Kiki smiled at Justin's subtle wink to let her know she was not in this alone, not anymore. “So what do I have to do to prepare for the donation? Do I have to go on a special diet or something like that?� Whatever was required for him to be the best donor for Cheyenne, he was on board 110%.

 

“No that’s not necessary. The only preparatory step that has to be taken is an immune boosting medication that we’ll give you a few days before the harvest.�

 

“Will you be doing the procedure?� Lynn asked, her own maternal instinct rising to the surface at the knowledge that her own child would be going through a medical ordeal.

 

“Yes I’ll be doing the harvest. It’s a one day procedure. I’ll be taking one to two quarts of bone marrow from your hip. I know that sound like a lot, but its only a small percentage of your body’s total bone marrow supply. You won’t be under sedation, but you will have a local anesthetic. And to be perfectly honest with you – despite that medication it’s a painful process. Afterward you’ll experience some fatigue and you’ll be sore.�

 

“I’ll deal.�

 

“Very good then, but as of now you don’t have to be concerned about the harvest. It won’t happen until the chemotherapy is successful.� Dr. Sabine further explained. “As unsettling as I know it is, it’s really just a waiting game for the time being unfortunately. We’ll continue to monitor Cheyenne and keep her on the antibiotics until she regains consciousness and the fever lets up.�

 

“Do you have any idea when that’ll be?� Justin inquired before Kiki got the chance.

 

“Given the rate at which her temperature is falling, I’d say later this evening or very early tomorrow.�

 

“This day can’t end fast enough then.� Kiki muttered to herself and looked through the window again. “I can’t wait to hold her again.�

 

“I know Ms. Lewis.� He smiled sympathetically. “For now though, do either of you have any more questions, concerns?�

 

“I don’t think so.� Kiki looked over at Justin and he shook his head. “You’ve been so honest and empathetic with us. We appreciate it so much. Thank you Dr. Sabine.� She reached over and hugged him.

 

“You’re very welcome Ms. Lewis. Mr. Timberlake it was a pleasure to meet you.� He extended his hand to Justin and he grasped it.

 

“You too. Thank you doctor.�

 

He stood up from the stool and slid it back into his previous spot as he made his way to the exit. “You all have a good day and I’ll be by later to check up on Cheyenne and give you an update.�

 

“Okay.� Justin and Kiki replied in unison.

 

“See you then.� The whole room chorused a farewell as he left.

 

“Oh thank God she’s going to be okay.� Kiki turned to her mother when she rubbed her back. “Siento como puedo respirar otra vez.� She sighed happily and raked her hair out of her face. “I may be living out of this place for the next month and a half, but I’d live out of a cardboard box right about now if need be.� She cracked lightly now that she left like a weight had been lifted off her chest.

 

“Well you won’t be alone here. I think it’s safe to say this place is going to be the new hang out spot for us.� A consensus of agreement followed Paul’s comment. The entrance to the fourth floor of Cedar Sinai was about to turn into a revolving door for this family.

 

Kiki looked around at everyone, taking in their tear stained faces and happy smiles. They all just went through a rollercoaster of emotions, even the newcomers – their reaction instilled in concern for Justin mostly, but it all came from a shared source, even if they were complete strangers. That probably needed to change in this close knit situation.

 

“If that how its gonna be, I’m pretty sure introductions are in order for some of us.�

 

That sense of unity in the atmosphere came to a halt and an awkwardness took its place as everyone started peering out the corner of their eyes at those they didn’t know.

 

Watching them all act like a bunch of chicken shits, instead of mature adults, Kiki rolled her eyes. “Oh Dios….. Okay to those who don’t know – I’m Kiki and this is Justin. On my side we have…�

 

She proceeded to go around the room introducing all her family and friends, even those who knew each other already. As she introduced her father and siblings in particular, she gave them a glare that said for them to be cordial, down right pleasant. And not just now, but for the entire duration of Cheyenne’s hospital stay. She knew for a fact how much the three of them despised Justin and that even his saving Cheyenne’s life wouldn’t make their feelings toward him magically disappear. But if they started anything while Cheyenne was in treatment, she was going to go off, this was not the time or place.

 

Maya, Frederick and Derek all knew the look on Kiki’s face, so at minimal politeness, they nodded and muttered a welcoming to Justin. For Cheyenne’s sake and to avoid Kiki’s wrath, they’d play nice…. For now.

 

“Nice meeting you all.� Justin said in particular to Kiki’s family who he’d never met. A smile graced his face in an attempt to show that he was being genuine. He could feel waves of animosity coming off of her siblings and her father, and he knew he deserved it. He only hoped it wouldn’t interfere with his being here for Cheyenne. They could cuss him out later, but now he wanted to concentrate on his daughter.

 

“It’s very nice to meet you as well Justin. Thank you for coming to help Cheyenne.� Nina responded as the spokesperson for the family. She was the only one forgiving enough to be genuine in her words. It would take some time for a trust to exist between her granddaughter’s father and the rest of her family. In the meantime she wasn’t going to let pride get in the way of Cheyenne have the support of her whole family, including her father. Besides if the look on her youngest’s face meant anything, any and everyone might find themselves getting kicked out if they didn’t cooperate.

 

“You don’t have to thank me. She is my daughter and I have a responsibility to her. I know that now.� When he felt Kiki looking at him, he turned to see her smiling and she nodded acceptingly at him.

 

They had a lot to talk about on that subject, but it could wait for now. When that time did come their families had no say and their opinions were inadmissible. Yes they played a part in raising Cheyenne and Kiki was thankful for their help, but Cheyenne wasn’t their child. She was hers and Justin’s. Now that he was here, Kiki had no inclination to keep them apart, she never did. They knew that, so they would have to deal with his presence.

 

“So..� Kiki perked up a little to break the tension in the room. “I introduced myself and my people. What about yours?�

 

“Yeah um.� He cleared his throat and looked towards the other side of the room that the four in question occupied. “Everyone – this is my best friend Trace, my girlfriend Cameron, and my friends and bodyguards Lonnie and Eric. This is Kiki, her family and her friends, who most of you know already.� He and Kiki chuckled reflexively. Over half of these introductions were between people who already knew each other very well.

 

Again another bout of discomfort descended in the atmosphere in the wake of the reminder that there was a big division between the group of friends. Ever the mood elevator, Kiki took the initiative to cut the crap for the third time and she greeted her old acquaintances.

 

“Hiya Tracey.�

 

At first he rolled his eyes at the nickname he didn’t miss until she giggled lightly at his expression, pulling him in for the ride. “Hi Kiki.�

 

“It’s good to see you again.� She was cheesing at him and he couldn’t not smile back. She still had that same irresistible, bubbly personality.

 

“You too, but I’m probably going to regret those words in the near future.�

 

“Aw Tracey you’re still such a sweetie.� She grinned condescendingly with her sarcasm and he winked at her, their old banter still familiar to them both. “Now Mr. Lonnie and Mr. Eric I’m rather surprised to see you two. I thought you were smart enough to have moved on to bigger and better by now.� A light chuckle vibrated through the room at Kiki’s teasing while she was playful nudging a glowering Justin.

 

“Oh man she’s still the same ball buster.� Lonnie said to Eric.

 

“Yeah and she bred another one. Her daughter is just like her – evil.�

 

“She is not evil. She’s just smart and doesn’t buy into the crap you and Derek try to feed her.� Kiki ticked her neck at Joey. “And if I’m not mistaken didn’t Cheyenne beat you up not too long ago when you challenged her?� He ran his fingers through his hair, remembering the tight grip those little hands had on him. “Yeah that’s what I thought – hater.�

 

Joey leaned into Tami on the sofa they were sharing with JC, but she moved away. “Nuh uh, don’t come to me looking for sympathy. That’s what you and Derek get for messing with her all the time. You forget she’s not stupid and she’s not afraid of either of you.� Cheyenne was the perfect angel, but if you pushed her she didn’t hesitate to push back. Of course she was usually crying in the process, but she was sensitive and didn't like being bothered or forced to strike back. 

 

“Take note honey, you have a tough little girl. She’s smart to boot and doesn’t fall for the normal tricks and trades of parenting.� Lynn hipped her son to what to expect with little Ms. Cheyenne. “You actually managed to produce a little brain child sweetie.� She teased.

 

“Uh thanks Ma.� He rolled his eyes at her and as everyone laughed, Lynn lovingly ruffled his head.

 

In the middle of the laughter and the now light and easy mood, Kiki moved from sitting on her bent leg and it knocked into something when her foot landed on the floor.

 

“What’s this?� She asked aloud before bending down and seeing it was her Key West gym bag she kicked.

 

“Oh we stopped by your place to get a change of clothes and some other thing for you and Cheyenne. Of course now I’m sure you’re gonna need more than that.� Rhea explained.

 

“Oh yeah we’re probably going to need like my whole luggage set full of stuff.� Kiki replied while opening the duffle and examining what was inside.

 

“Me and your sister can put a few bags together for you hijita. Yeah Maya?�

 

“Yeah, absolutely.�

 

“Thanks Mamí.� There were two sets of clothing for her and Cheyenne, but there was something else in the side pouches that she was now going for.

 

“You probably need me to do the same for you too.� Lynn said to Justin and he nodded.

 

“Oh my gawh! You brought these.� Kiki squealed and pulled out 3 DVDs. Everyone turned from their side conversations to see her giddily holding up A Goofy Movie, Bend It Like Beckham, and Tarzan.

 

Marissa was cheesing at her friend’s excited response. “I know they have DVD players in hospitals now-a-days so we thought they’d keep her preoccupied while she was here.�

 

“Oh thanks guys.� She turned to Justin and informed him about the significance of the films. “These are Cheyenne’s favorite movies and the music from each of these are some of her favorite songs.�

 

“Even…?� He inquired excitedly at the thought of his daughter being a fan of his music.

 

 “Yes even Trashin’ the Camp. She actually um..� Kiki giggled at the memory. “She makes Josh and Joey sing-along if they’re around while she’s watching it. So you’d better get those vocal cords warmed up.�

 

“With 3 out of 5 now, she’s gonna have them putting on full blown concerts for her.� Maya quipped, but the funny thing about it was that, that scenario was very likely. Cheyenne had both Joey and JC wrapped around her little finger and as soon as Justin came face to face with her, he’d be added to the mix. She’d have the three singers crooning out melodies to her in a heartbeat.

 

“Kik check the other pouch there’s someone in there who hopped into the bag.� Both Rhea and Marissa were grinning brightly.

 

Eyebrows furrowed, Kiki dug into the other end of the duffle and when her hands made contact with a familiar fluffy mass, a big smile popped on her face. She pulled out the little stuffed penguin and sighed contently. “Duke.� Bringing him up to her nose, she could smell Cheyenne’s scent that had saturated him. She felt Justin’s curious eyes on her and she introduced the little fella. “This is Duke, Justin. Cheyenne faithful companion since she was 9 months old.� Marissa and Trent had given it to her after a trip to Santa Monica pier where Trent won it playing one of the carnival games. “The only place and I mean only place, he doesn’t go with her is daycare. And that’s only because Duke doesn’t like playing with the other kids.� Justin chuckled at Cheyenne’s apparent covetous streak. “She will share any of her toys with anyone except for Duke. He is Pixie’s baby.�  

 

“Pixie?�

 

“Oh yeah I should probably tell you that - Pixie is Cheyenne’s nickname. With the exception of Derek and Rhea, who calls her CJ, we all call her Pixie probably more than Cheyenne.� She laughed.

 

“Where’d the name come from?� It was sad that he hadn’t learned all this about his daughter first hand, but he was lucky he was getting this opportunity now. There was still so much to learn, but he was ready and willing to be one dedicated student.

 

“My Dad.� She looked over at Frederick. He had been so quiet this whole time and she gave him a pleading look for him to stop acting so cold and distant. She and Cheyenne needed him to be accepting and open minded to Justin’s returned presence.

 

There wasn’t anything Frederick wouldn’t do for his little girl and his Pixie so he swallowed his pride. Talking to Justin directly, he said with a shrug. “From day one I always thought she looked like a little fairy. She’s got the personality of one too. Sweet as pie when you’re on her good side, but get on her bad side and she got herself quite the fiery temper. Joey’s hair and my son’s arms can attest to that.�

 

Those familiar with the results of a play fight between Cheyenne and one of her uncles, giggled at the defense arsenal the little girl already had.

 

“The name is mostly due to her appearance, she's got this cute little elvish face and she’s a little bit with a rather high pitched voice. But...� A happy smile donned Kiki’s face when she thought on the beloved light of her life. “She is so full of life and happiness, like this little burst of energy that you just want to be around all the time.� Her voice got quiet at the ending, thinking about what would happen if she couldn’t be with her baby anymore. Not even an hour ago that thought plagued her mind and her heart. Now that Cheyenne had new hope for recovery it didn’t change or take away that fear. Kiki was sure that for the rest of her life she would worry that this nightmare could reoccur.

 

The room could see her mood dampen again and think quick Derek retorted. “She may be the cutest little munchkin, but that voice of hers, especially when she starts yellin’ - it drives me a little stir crazy sometimes.�

 

Frederick and Paul both let out a deep chuckled, nodding their heads agreeably. During football season sometimes she would sit with them in front of the TV at Sunday dinner and whenever they cheered for their teams so would she, loudly and in that high pitch voice of hers. That little girl sure had a set of lungs on her.

 

“Hey I like her voice man. It’s unique.� JC defended.

 

“No it’s adorable. Like a little chipmunk’s.� Tami gushed.

 

Maya gasped. “Oh I should make her a little chipmunk costume for Halloween next year when she goes trick or treating.�

 

“You are not dressing my child up as a rodent.�

 

“Whatever costume she wears, it’s gotta be hot. It’ll be her first time trick or treat.� Joey was the self proclaimed king of Halloween, especially dressing up so it was only fitting that he pass the skill on the next generation starting with his goddaughter.

 

“Knowing Cheyenne I bet she’ll make that decision for her herself when the time comes.� Nina jumped into the conversation with a comment they all agreed with. Cheyenne was definitely her own person.

 

Justin listened avidly as all the people who loved Cheyenne continued reminisced on some of their favorite moments with her. He had missed so much, but at the same time there was still so much for him to experience with his daughter for the rest of his life. Hey already he had her first time trick or treating to look forward to.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Morning turned to afternoon and those donuts and muffins had long since done their job. Cheyenne hadn’t woken up yet and there was no tell when that would actually happen. There was no point in everyone sticking around at this time especially when they all had their own lives to live and could come back later. Justin and Kiki weren’t going anywhere so they urged everyone to go home. They would activate the family tree as soon as something changed. Of course they all were hesitant, double and triple checking that the parents were all set on their own.

 

Justin and Kiki were both fine for the night. Their parents would be by tomorrow with clothes, and odds and ends. There was an all night café downstairs so they were covered for food. But that wasn’t good enough for Nina Lewis and Lynn Harless. They decided they would come back later that night with overnight bags and some dinner. Having their babies living off of hospital food was not acceptable for the mothers. Kiki knew that both of them would probably be burning up their kitchens for the duration of this hospital stay, taking turns feeding them. As a matter of fact while their friends were saying goodbye, the two women were on the other side of the room strategizing their meal plans.

 

Along with Marissa and Trent, Derek and Rhea were the first to leave. To no surprise, a hug and cheek kiss was given to Kiki by Rhea and she politely said goodbye to Justin, but what shocked everyone was Derek clutching Justin’s hand. Everyone, even Justin, was surprised by the friendly gesture and the only outward appearance that Derek was aware he was acting out of character, was a wink for Kiki alone. For her and Cheyenne he was extending the olive branch just a little. Besides he couldn’t ignore how devastated Justin was by Cheyenne’s sickness. The man had to be really fucking heartless to walk out on her again after this. Heartless and stupid because Derek would be on his ass if he ever left CJ again.

 

Kiki smiled at her brother, happy and thankful to see he was putting his male pride aside like their father, even if it was in increments. He and Frederick had already made strides today, now there was only Maya left to follow their lead; however, she was probably the more difficult of the three. Maya was the only one in her family she turned to whenever her heartache got the better of her while she was pregnant. Her father and brother would only get angry and Nina would worry herself sick over her. Maya saw her sister’s pain and it would take more than a few hours for her to be open to accepting Justin. It didn’t deter Kiki’s faith that they’d all come around. This was a time for family unity and the Lewises stuck together.

 

“Kik I’ll get everything straightened out at work for you tomorrow.� Marissa offered. Key West would be going into “touring� mode again. “Do you want me to let everyone know what’s happening or not?�

 

“No go ahead and tell the staff, particularly Karen and everyone in the daycare. The kids are going to want to know where Cheyenne is, especially Robbie. Poor little guy.� She and Marissa could imagine the pout that would grace his face at the discovery that his friend would be absent for him side for awhile. “I should probably call Alana actually.� Kiki said to herself, storing a reminder in the back of her mind.

 

“Well in that case let me grab some of those visiting hours sheets on the way out.� Kiki’s eyebrows arched and she nodded definitively. The whole club, some members included would be ready to invade the hospital when the news hit. “Okay babe we’ll stop by tomorrow to visit.� Marissa leaned down and kissed Kiki’s cheek. Justin was talking to his parents next to Kiki so she politely interrupted to say goodbye and “good seeing you again.�

 

“Yeah you too Marissa.�

 

“Catch ya later Kik.� Trent was next up and gave her a hug before assembly lining over to clutch hands with Justin. “Good seeing you man.�

 

“Thanks man.�

 

He and Marissa joined Derek and Rhea who were waiting at the door, and the two couples left with everyone’s farewells. Not long after another quartet prepared to leave.

 

Trace, Cameron, Lonnie and Eric made the rounds with the remained inner circle before stopping at Kiki and Justin. The guys each gave Kiki a goodbye hug, but her parting with Cameron was standoffish and awkward. Neither knew quite how to react to each other, but if Cameron was going to be Justin’s life, by extension Cheyenne’s, they would have to get used to one another. For Kiki that wasn’t a challenge at all, Cameron was no threat to her, but she would bet anything that Cameron very much saw her as one. Sounds like a personal problem to me, Kiki thought briefly, not bothering to mull over it.

 

“I’m going to walk them out.� Justin told her before leaving the room with his party.

 

Side by side, he and Cameron walked down the hall behind the guys. They both were quiet, at a lose for what to say to each other until Cameron broke the silence.

 

“I have some running around to do tomorrow, so I won’t be able to visit, but I’ll call you.� Justin nodded mutely. He knew it was a lie, but he understood why she did it. She needed some time to process this all and make a decision. He had made it clear he wasn’t going anywhere from his daughter’s life and if they were going to continue their relationship, she needed to decided if she could handle him having a child.

 

“Okay,� was all he could say and all he could do was wait for her to make a choice. Whatever that was, he would accept it, even if it was to leave him.

 

Reaching the elevator, Lonnie pressed the call button and turned back to bring up a subject with Justin that he didn’t think he’d considered yet. “Do you want one of us to stay? There’s a chance someone saw you come in this morning. People might come snooping.�

 

“I was talking to Dr. Sabine about the hospital’s security and he said this floor in particular because it’s a pediatric ward, has pretty tight security.� Lonnie followed his gaze over to the police officer who was standing at the nurse station talking to one of the nurses. “Nobody can just walk in here. You saw that when we got here.� Every visitor had to check in with the nurse at the front desk before they were allowed pass, just like they had to do earlier today. That and the round the clock officer was enough for him, he didn’t really want to waste any energy worrying about the pathetic media and their intruding. “If they find out, they find out. Cheyenne’s safe here and that’s all that matters. I’ll worry about damage control later when I talk to Johnny in a few days. It’s just not a priority for me right now.�

 

“Alright call us if you change your mind or if anything happens.�

 

“I will.� He reached out and clutch hands first with him and Eric, then Trace. “See you guys later.�

 

“I’ll be by tomorrow to see how Daddy’s dealing.� Trace quipped. He knew besides being concerned over his daughter, Justin was nervous about meeting her for the first time and what impression he’d make on her. He hoped everything went well between them when the moment occurred.

 

“Yeah wish me luck.�

 

The elevator arrived right as he was starting back towards the room and after one last goodbye they piled into the car. The door closed and Justin was on his way back to his daughter.

 

Meanwhile in the family room Tami had decided to go with Maya and Nina to Kiki’s condo, so without her and alongside JC, Joey was next to call a timeout until tomorrow. After they each secured a promise from Kiki to call if she needed anything, they left. Not far beyond the door they just exited, Joey and JC ran into Justin and in that moment the three old friends knew it was time for a long overdue showdown.

 

Meeting in the middle of the hall, for a few seconds they were uncomfortably silent, the theme for the day among all the adults, as they tried to figure out how to start this conversation.

 

Justin knew he was the reason for the tension and that he had to be the one to start. “You two out of here?�

 

“Yeah. We both need some sleep and have some business to take care of before we come back.� Out of courtesy, JC responded as Joey stood by rather aloof.

 

“Cool, cool.� Justin nodded reflexively and inhaled deeply. Alright time to man up. “Listen I just want to thank you both for looking out for Cheyenne.� No longer able to ignore where this speech of his was headed, Joey gave him some real recognition. “I know in the past I haven’t been very appreciative or considerate of the two of you. I’m sorry for that. I’ve been a pretty fuckin’ shady person; a bad friend, a bad father. I got a lot of shit I have to make up for. Most importantly with Cheyenne, but I was hoping I could get another shot at our friendship too.�

 

Listening to him apologize not only for his more recent misdeed, but also those in the past that made them question their friendship with him, was a pleasant surprise for both men. Justin’s first act of selfishness and disloyalty with his sudden and one sided decision to take a break from the group had been forgiven after some distance and a serious discussion with an apology. But that betrayal paled in comparison to the ultimate against his own kid. Was he capable of doing that again and would they be the ones he turned on next for the second time? Behind the brief glance between Joey and JC the question was asked: Should we give him another chance?

 

Joey was the first to make a move by opening his hand to Justin. “You’re a little fuckin’ prick, you know that right? Always have been, but I think something’s finally clicked in that head of yours.� He had watched Justin’s reaction since he showed up and saw how rocked he was by Cheyenne’s crisis. He had essentially been scared straight and Joey didn’t think he’s ever take advantage of his daughter or anyone else who really cared about him again. “I don’t know if you know this, but Cheyenne’s my goddaughter and regardless of blood, she’s my niece too. Both of ours. Don’t leave her again. Take care of her, give it some time between us – we’ll chill - and eventually we’ll be cool again. Okay?� Justin nodded, grateful for the reprieve he was getting from one of his oldest and best friends. Joey tightened his grip in his hand and pulled him in for a masculine hug.

 

“Thanks Joe.� They patted each other’s backs before ending the embrace and Justin looked to JC who had turned relatively quiet through everything he and Joey had said. It worried him. “C?� He tentatively asked. He’d know JC since he was a kid, he was like a big brother to him and he would never forgive himself if he had ruined their friendship especially.

 

JC could see Justin was waiting with bate breath as he contemplated his decision. He ended the suspense with a smile and Justin sighed with relief. “We’re brothers so it’s squashed. But three strikes you’re out. You act up again and I’ll disown your ass.� They both laughed and pulled each other into a hug.

 

With their friendships on the mend, the three men casually stood in the hallway now lacking the oppressive tension.

 

Joey leaned over to JC and joked. “Looks like we just can’t get rid of Curly, man. We’re gonna be keeping his ass in line until he’s rollin’ around in a fuckin’ Rascal and shit.� They laughed out loud at Justin, but he took it in stride. It was like old times when they would rag on him simply because he was the baby of the group. He felt like things would really be okay between them.

 

Keeping up the tradition he zinged back. “You can kiss my ass.�

 

“No we’ll leave ass kissing, specifically Cheyenne’s and Kiki’s, up to you.� JC teased and Joey winced.

 

“I damn sure feel sorry for you cuz I don’t know who’s tougher.�

 

“Exactly.� Again they laughed heartedly, thinking about Justin groveling to a two year old. That in itself was a pretty just comeuppance.

 

“You know what? Bye.� Justin dismissed the cackling duo and approached the door to the family room.

 

“Still can’t take the heat. That’s alright we’ll let you off the hook for now, but we’ll catch you tomorrow.� Joey replied as he and JC started back towards the exit.

 

“Bye.� Justin called out again before disappearing into the room, counting his blessings all the while. The rift between his friends and family was in the process of being healed, but best of all, his daughter was going to pull through and he’d finally get to fill that Cheyenne shaped hole in his heart.

 

 

Nina, Lynn, Maya and Tami had just left for the second time after dropping off a couple of overnight bags for Kiki, Cheyenne and Justin, dinner and some snacks for later. Cheyenne had yet to regain consciousness, but her parents were still sitting right next to the viewing window, watching and waiting.

 

The TV was on playing some Comedy Central show that only had half of their attention, the other half was on their daughter. They didn’t talk much, only making general comments about what was happening on TV when the silence became too much. Both of them were just too lost in their thoughts.

 

One in particular kept coming to the forefront in Justin’s mind so he voiced it. “Do you think she’s going to like me?�

 

Kiki thought about her answer before she said. “I don’t think it’s a matter of her liking you, but being comfortable with you. And to be honest, Cheyenne is the type of child that if she doesn’t know you, she’s not comfortable with you.� She was being completely candid with him because she didn’t want him going into this thinking everything was going to be perfect right off the bat. “It takes her a while to get used to strangers. It’ll take some time.� Justin felt a little dejected at the notion that he was a stranger to his own child, but that was the truth of the matter. The only thing he could do to change that was become a constant in her life. “I’m positive though that you’ll be great with her and you’ll probably become her new best friend.�

 

He looked through the window at Cheyenne’s still, prone body wishing she would wake up soon so he could work on earning that friendship. God why is this happening to her? She’s just an innocent baby. She never deserved this or a father like me for that matter. That final thought struck him. “This is my fault.�

 

“What?�

 

“This is my payback, my karma for abandoning her. I took her for granted and I almost lost her. We almsot did.� He could feel tears burning his eyes again and his guilt suffocating him. “She wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me.�

 

Kiki shook her head. Placing blame, like she’d done to herself earlier, was only counterproductive in this situation. “This was not your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. She got leukemia for reasons I don’t think we’ll ever find out, but you had nothing to do with it.� She looked directly at him to make sure what she was saying got through to him.

 

Cheyenne had a chance, there was hope yet and she was holding on to that to stay positive. Apparently he needed a dose of something happy right now so she used her brand of witticism to lighten him up. “If anything this was your wake up call or if you prefer - a bitch slap from God.�

 

This was not a funny situation, but with that comment and the teasing grin on her face, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing and she joined in with a giggle.

 

His laughter down to a chuckle, he answered. “You’re second interpretation is pretty good.�

 

Their giggles were ignited once again and it felt good. Still this was a serious topic that they had to talk about.

 

“It’s true though. I mean think about it - out of all the people who were there from day one for Cheyenne; loving her, raising her. Not one of us was a donor match, but you were.� As far as she was concerned that in itself was a clear and cut sign for him. “She needs you Justin. She’s going to need you today, tomorrow, for the rest of her life because you’re her father.� He nodded adamantly, this was one of the things he had come to understand. “Let this whole ordeal serve as a permanent reminder of that so you don’t make the same mistake twice.�

 

“I can tell you now; I’m not going to need it. I’m never leaving her again.� His words were so strong and definitive that despite everything Kiki believed him. “I know now that I can face my fears or anything else that comes with fatherhood, but I can’t face a world without her in it.� Since he let Kiki walk out of his office that day, his life had been shit. It just took him awhile to admit why. “She’s a part of me, a part that I’ve missed and I don’t want to live without it anymore.�

 

Kiki sighed happily. “Finally.� He finally understood that he had to put all of his own shit aside and do whatever he had to, to give Cheyenne what she deserved which was the best of everything, including two parents who loved her.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it took me so long and this situation to get me to this point.�

 

She smiled and grabbed his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “It’s okay. I forgive you and I believe that you’re not going to run away this time. But you should understand that my forgiveness really doesn’t matter. It’s Cheyenne’s that counts and one day when she’s older you’re going to have tell her the truth and get it from her.�

 

“Yeah I know that.� It was a fear that would linger until that day came. Would she forgive him or turn him away? Anything could happen, but he wasn’t going to think about that now or let it hinder his relationship with her.

 

“In that case, since you’re sticking around, be a good father to her and give her every reason to forgive-“

 

Suddenly out the corner of her eye she saw movement in Cheyenne’s crib. She jumped up to kneel in her seat and practically plastered herself to the window.

 

“What? What’s wrong?� Justin asked in a panic at her sudden movement.

 

“I just saw her move.�

 

“Are you sure?� Much like she had, he sprung up to get a better look.

 

“I swear to God, Justin, I saw her move.� And sure enough a few moments later they both saw a little hand grab one of the bars of the crib. “Oh God, she awake. Oh my God, we gotta go in there.� Kiki jumped off the couch and rushed out of the room. Justin followed her and caught her right before she opened the door to Cheyenne’s room.

 

“Wait Kik, wait. We can’t go in there. Remember the risk of infection. We have to have scrubs and stuff on first.� Justin said pulling her hand away from the door handle. “We probably should go and tell the doctor first so he can examine her.�

 

Kiki reluctantly agreed and followed Justin to the nurse’s station to notify them. After waiting ten agonizingly long minutes, Dr. Sabine and a nurse arrived to examine Cheyenne. Justin and Kiki watched through the window and could clearly see that Cheyenne was distressed by the strange environment and people surrounding her. Kiki couldn’t bear to see her baby so terrified and prayed the staff would hurry up and let them go to her. After the exam the doctor came into the visitor’s room to deliver the news to the anxious parents.

 

“Is she ok? Can we go see her?� Kiki practically attacked Dr. Sabine as soon as he walked in.

 

“Calm down, Ms. Lewis.� He chuckled at her eagerness. “We took her temperature and her fever has finally broken. We’re going to keep her on the antibiotic drip through the night and if things are still good, tomorrow we’ll move her to her room and start treatment the day after.� Even though Cheyenne still had a ways to go, at least she was past one hurdle. “And yes you can go see her now. She's scared so I’m definitely not going to keep you guys apart any longer and while you’re in there were going to give her a mild sedative to calm and relax her. She needs recuperative rest now, but you can stay with her until she falls asleep.� A nurse had come into the room while the doctor was talking with two sets of scrubs in her hand.

 

“Put these on and when you’re ready you can go right in.�

 

They thanked the doctor and the nurse as he left to prep Cheyenne’s medication. Justin and Kiki quickly dressed, but right before she was going to walk out of the family room, he stopped her. “Wait, wait.�

 

“Wait? Why? What’s wrong?� Kiki questioned.

 

Fidgeting and with a timidness in his voice, he said. “Maybe you should go in alone, at least at first. I’m a stranger to her and I don’t want to scare her anymore than she already is.� He explained further at her incredulous look. “I’m going to come in but after you calm her down. I just don’t want to overwhelm her.�

 

Kiki took a relieved breath, thinking he had been ready to back out, before she nodded, understanding where he was coming from. “Yeah, you’re probably right.� She couldn’t just throw Justin into Cheyenne’s face suddenly, especially given the shock she was already experiencing. Finesse was required for their first meeting. “I’ll go in there and clam her down and then explain you to her.�

 

“Alright.�

 

“Ok. Wish me luck that I don’t breakdown.� Kiki smiled a true smile for the first time all day and Justin return one as well. They were both finally seeing a light at the end of the dark tunnel they had been stuck in.

 

 

 

Kiki entered Cheyenne’s room and was greeting with the hiccupping sobs of her baby. There was a nurse standing by the crib trying her best to soothe the little girl until her mother arrived.

 

“Hey Pixie.� Kiki said as she warily walked up to the crib and peering in to look at Cheyenne’s tear streaked face.

 

At the sound of the mother’s voice and then the sight of her face, Cheyenne began to cry even harder and reached out in desperation for her. “Mommy.�

 

The sight broke Kiki’s heart and she scooped her baby up as quickly and cautiously as she could. The nurse helped her maneuver all the wires and tubes so she could finally hold her in her arms. Cheyenne buried herself in Kiki’s chest, feeling her mother’s warmth put all her fears to rest. Kiki cried for joy at the feel of her child close to her heart again. She carried her over to the rocking chair sitting in the corner and just rocked them as they both continued to cry in relief.

 

The nurse who had witness the fear this woman had lived in all day, allowed herself a few moments to watch the joyous reunion of mother and daughter. Feeling like she was intruding on a private moment she excused herself.

 

“I’m going to go get the sedative from Dr. Sabine and give you a few minutes alone.� She was about to walk out of the room when Kiki’s tear-filled voice spoke out.

 

“Thank you.� She looked up from Cheyenne’s face to the woman. “Thank you for everything you’re doing for my baby.�

 

“I’m glad I can help.� She smiled and then walked out of the room.

 

Kiki returned to staring into her baby’s face. Cheyenne look up at her mother and smiled. Kiki closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay as overwhelming joy washed over her. There were times during the past two days that she thought she would never see that beautiful smile again. She could never express how happy she was to see it now.

 

Next door in the family room, Justin was watching the two of them together. He never felt more relieved in his life to simply see a person awake. He was so anxious to hold her for the first time, tell her how much he loved her and swear to never leave her again. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to wait too much longer.

 

As they rocked in the chair and Kiki gently rubbed Cheyenne’s back, both their tears subsided. Eventually Kiki rearranged Cheyenne back into the crook of her arms so she could look at her.

 

“Hi babyheart.�

 

“Hi Mommy.� She replied as she reached up to play with the ends of Kiki’s hair. It was something she did often, the act was like a security blanket, a source of comfort for her.

 

“I love you.�

 

“Love you too.�

 

That voice. Kiki giggled and leaned down to give her an Eskimo kiss.

 

It amazed her, the amount of resilience Cheyenne was showing despite the ordeal she was going through. Instead of seeing sadness or fright, now that she was securely in her mother’s arms, there was still that happy light in her eyes. Kiki was so proud of her little girl’s strength and felt that she would be just fine with meeting her father for the first time. And her gut was telling her stranger or not, having someone else here giving her love and support would only benefit Cheyenne.

 

“Pixie face I need you to listen to Mommy right now.� Kiki pulled her hair out of Cheyenne’s hand so she would pay attention. “There’s someone here with me that wants to see you. Even though you’ve never met him, he’s a really important person in your life. He’s um…..He’s your Daddy baby and he wants to get to know you. He hasn’t been around until now and that’s because, because….� She didn’t know how to explain the reason Justin hadn’t been a part of the first year and a half of her life. They had yet to clearly discuss that, but she tried anyway. “Well I think he was afraid that he wouldn’t be a good Daddy for you, but now I think he’s ready to stop being a fraidy cat and be the best Daddy in the world.� Even though Kiki knew she didn’t understand, she took Cheyenne’s absentminded nod as a good sign. “He’s got some courage and he wants to come in here and say hi to you. You ok with that? He’s a very nice guy and I think you’re going to like him. So is it okay if he comes inside?�

 

Cheyenne nodded reflexively and reached back up for her mother’s hair. After kissing her on the top of her head, Kiki looked up at Justin watching from the next room and signaled for him to come in.

 

The moment was here, so confident and composed, Justin went next door. He cautiously walked over toward Kiki and Cheyenne, grabbing a spare chair from the side of the room to sit next to them.

 

The minute he entered the room, Cheyenne’s eyes zeroed in on him. He felt a shiver go through his body and his heart sped up at the intense stare he was receiving from his daughter. There was such a pure innocence and glow in her eyes that he was instantly falling for. An incredible mass of happiness invaded his heart and soul that he never felt before and it made him smile.

 

He took in her appearance – her cute little face that did have a pixie-like quality, her full chin length wavy dark brown hair, and her familiar ears that had him reaching up to touch his. This beautiful tiny girl had the power to make him felt so insignificant in her presence, but it didn’t faze him. He understood now that she was more important than him, more important than anyone or thing in his life. He knew he would give up everything - his career, all his accomplishments, his life in a heartbeat for her. Before now, thoughts like that terrified him, but now he couldn’t think in any other way. It was like the second he looked into her eyes his whole way of thinking shifted. Without a doubt she now held the position of #1 in his life and in his heart.

 

This must be what being a parent feels like.

 

He smiled at the fact that he was parent. He still had to earn it, but it would be the best title he could ever win.

 

“She has my eyes.� He finally spoke up, but he was still staring into the beautiful set of blue orbs that look so familiar, yet his paled in comparison. He wanted desperately to reach out and hold her.

 

“Yes she does.� Kiki chuckled, remembering thinking the same thing the minute Cheyenne looked at her for the first time.

 

“Hi Cheyenne.� He smiled as he spoke to her for the first time.

 

Cheyenne stayed silent as she continued studying the new person, so Kiki tried to coax her into responding. “Pixie can you say hi to your Daddy?�

 

“Hi.� She said in her little high pitched voice that filled Justin’s eyes with tears. It was music to his ears, the sweetest song.

 

Kiki could see how overwhelmed him was by this moment, a tear had dropped from his eyes and she wanted to give him some comfort, a daughter’s comfort. “Hey Pix, do you think you could give him a hug? He would really like one of your special hugs. I think it’ll make him feel better.� Cheyenne looked up at her mother wearily. “How about it?� She smiled to assure her that everything would be alright if she did.

 

It was like time stopped as Cheyenne made her decision and both parents waited for her reaction on the edge of their seats. Justin felt like he was being examined for approval so he made sure nothing, but love and tenderness could be read in his appearance to the little girl.

 

The next thing either he or Kiki knew Cheyenne leaned over her mother’s lap and reached out for him. Justin cautiously picked her up and sat her on his lap. She was still looking up at him when suddenly a bright smile that was very recognizable to him, shown on her face. Her mother’s smile.

 

The surprises kept on coming when Cheyenne, instead of out right wrapping her arms around Justin in a hug, simply leaned into him until she was resting against his chest. It was as if she was saying she would only give him so much of one of her special hugs, he had to earn the rest.

 

Regardless, to Justin that small move was the biggest and warmest hug he could ever receive. An exhalation stuttered by happiness sounded from his mouth when she so willingly settled in his arms like it was an everyday occurrence for her, comfortable and natural. It was like balm on his heart and he pulled her closer to him.

 

Cheyenne let him hold her for awhile until she leaned back, and looked up at him again. “You better now?�

 

Kiki let out a laughing sob from her seat. Watching the two of them in this moment was the most heartwarming thing she had ever witnessed. Cheyenne was one of the most loving people she knew, but for her to react to Justin that way; she must have felt really at ease with him. This couldn’t have been a more perfect reunion. Already she could see the possibility of a beautiful connection existing between them and any fears that Cheyenne would reject her father disappeared.

 

The acceptance she was showing put to rest all Justin’s worries and erased all the hurt he’d been feeling for the past two years. His misery was over and he leaned down until his forehead gently touched hers. “I’m all better now baby.�

 

Again Cheyenne smiled brightly at him and all he could think was – Thank you God. For the precious gift that was his daughter and his second chance. He didn’t deserve either one, but was blessed enough to get them and he was going to take full advantage.  He would never fail her again.

 

 

 

After falling asleep in her mother’s arms and with her new found father at her side, Cheyenne had a restful night’s sleep. Her parents, on the other hand, had a crappy night. Sleeping on a sofa, especially for a six foot person, was never comfortable, but they could have slept on a cloud and still have been restless and worried that Cheyenne temperature would spike again in the middle of the night. Luckily she stayed stable throughout the night which meant her chances of coming out of isolation today were very good.

 

Bright and early, Dr. Sabine arrived for Cheyenne’s morning check up, retrieving Justin and Kiki first so she’d have their comforting presence with her first thing in the morning.  As they were walking into the room, with Cheyenne in her arm, a nurse was coming out of the bathroom after changing her.

 

When Cheyenne saw her mother, a big smile popped on her face and she immediately reached out for her. “Hi baby!� Kiki greeted her happily as she took her out of the nurse’s releasing arms. She wrapped her arms around Kiki’s neck in a tight hug and knowing how relieved her baby was to see her, Kiki snuggled her close. Justin stood at their side and instinctively, he reached out to rub Cheyenne’s back soothingly. To his relief and happiness she didn’t flinch away from his unfamiliar touch. Instead when she felt another hand on her back, she turned to look at Justin and once recognition set in, she smiled.

 

“Hey Cheyenne. Did you sleep good last night?� He asked as he stroked her soft little cheek. Through a yawn she nodded and then rested her head on Kiki’s shoulder.

 

“Well that’s good huh?� Kiki leaned back slightly to see her face and Cheyenne sat up again.

 

“Yes.� She answered with a definitive tone while she played with Kiki’s hair and both her parents laughed at the conviction she managed to express for a 20 month old.

 

As much as he hated to break up their happy moment, Cheyenne needed her morning check up and the quicker that happened the quicker they could get her out of isolation. Something he was sure they all wanted, so he politely interrupted with the clearing of his throat.

 

Remembering they weren’t alone and the task at hand, Justin and Kiki brought Cheyenne over to the crib she’d slept in that was now opened up for her examination.

 

Before he got started Dr. Sabine introduced them to the nurse who had been holding Cheyenne earlier and would be assisting him. Like all the other personnel they’d meet since they’d been here, she seemed to be a very caring and warm person. Kiki and Justin were both very pleased with the type of people who were caring for their daughter.

 

Since she was too upset to really acknowledge him last night, Dr. Sabine next introduced himself to his patient. “Hi Cheyenne. I’m Dr. Harry do you remember me from yesterday. � She shook her head, keeping a hold of Kiki’s hand for comfort as this stranger stared down at her.  “Well that’s okay. It’s nice to meet you again anyway.� He reached out his hand and she shook it.

 

“You too.�

 

He smiled at her politeness despite her obvious unease. “Okay then Cheyenne, this is Ms. Margaret. She’s going to help me give you a check up, like when you go to the doctor’s.� She nodded, her eyes filled with apprehension. “She going to put this little butterfly clip on your arm for a little while.� He held the decorative needle so that only colorful butterfly covering it showed. “And I’m going to listen to your heart so I know what it sounds like….Actually how about I have you listen to it first so you can tell me what I should hear when its my turn.�

 

This time she nodded anxiously, her fears quelled a little by the apparatus that she always wanted to play with at the doctor’s. Dr. Sabine put the stethoscope on her and underneath her hospital gown pressed the chestpiece to her heart. All the adults watched with amusement as Cheyenne’s eyes widened and she smiled big.

 

She turned to her parents and exclaimed in wonder. “Mommy, Mommy. I hear. I hear!�

 

Along with Justin, Kiki could see the diversion Dr. Sabine had created, so she fully engaged Cheyenne with her new discovery. “Yeah? What’s its sound like?�

 

“You hear.� She pulled out the ear buds of the stethoscope and offered them first to Kiki and then Justin. They both ooh-ed and awed for affect all the while, with Cheyenne’s attention off of her and the doctor, Margaret had started drawing blood and she was none the wiser.  She had moved on to using the borrowed stethoscope on her parents and in the meantime Dr. Sabine pulled out another from his pocket to check her vitals.

 

He and Margaret finished up the exam without a hitch and after recording the information on Cheyenne’s chart, Dr. Sabine reported his findings to her parents. “Everything looks good. Her temperature is perfect. I’m going to go process her samples and I’ll be back in a little bit with the results. If things look good – which I suspect they will. We’ll move her into her room.�

 

Justin and Kiki thanked him again as he left the room, but nurse Margaret stayed behind. “Breakfast is going to be served soon. Does she like Raisin Bran, Kix, or Cheerios?“

 

“Kix are perfect.� Kiki managed to answer around Cheyenne trying to stick the stethoscope in her ears so she could hear Justin’s heartbeat.

 

“Ok I’ll go pass the information on and I’ll be back shortly to break you guys out of here.� She quipped, amusing both adults and left the room.

 

The trio was left alone to wait and eventually the stethoscope lost its appeal for Cheyenne. No longer distracted, she spoke up to question her mother.

 

“Go home Mommy?�

 

Kiki and Justin shared an uncomfortable glance. How to explain to a toddler that she wouldn’t be going home, back to her comfort zone, for quite some time? “I’m sorry baby, but we have to stay here for awhile.�

 

“Why?�

 

As Cheyenne looked up at her with those disappointed, sad blue eyes, it stung Kiki’s heart and she picked her up to hold her close and explain as best as she could. “Remember how you didn’t feel good baby?� She nodded. “Well we have to stay here so that you can get better.� Kiki knew she was barely connecting the dots, only understanding that she wouldn’t be going home like she wanted to. So she changed tactics. “Listen babyheart we may not be able to go home just yet, but you, me and Daddy are gonna have lots a fun while you get better. We can watch movies, play games, read a bunch of book, all kinds of fun stuff. How’s that sound? That sounds good doesn’t it Daddy?� Kiki looked to Justin for some rallying support.

 

He had been watching Kiki handle Cheyenne’s questioning with relief. He had no idea how to answer her himself, how to reassure her. But he could do this, he could definitely inject some fun and excitement in a rather dismal circumstance. 

 

“That sounds awesome! I can’t wait to have loads of fun with you and Mommy. You can show me all your favorite games and I can show you mine. Yeah?�

 

“Yeah!� Cheyenne grinned happily. Staying here couldn’t be all that bad if she had her Mommy and this new person who she liked with her.

 

“Alright. We’re gonna have ourselves a real good time.� He proclaimed enthusiastically. “Give me five.�

 

Cheyenne giggled and reached over to slap his hand.

 

Happy to see he helped put a smile back on his baby girl’s face, Justin couldn’t contain his own.

 

Kiki was watching Justin as he watched their daughter with so much affection written on his face. She was so happy and proud to witness how things just kept getting better and better between them.

 

 

 

It took some time for Dr. Sabine's returned, but he came back with good news. Cheyenne’s WBC count was slightly higher than it had been when she was admitted. Now that didn’t mean that the leukemia was magically gone, but her infection was and her stint in isolation was over.

 

Before the anxiously awaited move, with directions from Dr. Sabine, Justin left briefly to take his and Kiki’s stuff to the new room.  When he came back Kiki asked. “How’s the room look?� She scrunched up her nose, bracing herself for news that spelled another uncomfortable sofa for the next month and a half.

 

“I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised.� He winked at her and turned his attention to the other lady in the room. “Now Ms. Cheyenne. I was on my way back here and I bumped into a friend of yours here to visit.�

 

In Kiki’s arm, wrapped in a blanket and all ready to go, Cheyenne watched him, eyebrows raised with curiosity. And from behind his back, Justin revealed Duke.

 

“Surprise!�

 

Her face lit up and the stethoscope that she had to give back was forgotten as she pulled her friend into her chest, squeezing him tight.

 

“See there babyheart Duke’s here to have fun with us too.� Kiki said, kissing her forehead. It was one more home comfort Cheyenne had through the duration of this trying time in her young life.

 

The move from isolation a go, Dr. Sabine left them in the capable hands of Margaret so he could check on another patient, promising to meet them in the new room shortly. As Margaret was preparing to lead the way out, Kiki made a suggestion to her daughter.

 

“How about you let Daddy carry you? He’s tall so you can see everything from up there.� Cheyenne looked up at her father and liking the prospect, she reached out for him.

 

It was his first time carrying her like this, but it felt so natural as he fitted her little body in his arms. Tiny and light as a damn feather, he thought to himself, but he teased her and said.

 

“Whoa. You’re heavy.�

 

“No I not.� She pouted indignantly. It was so cute he had to laugh, but she was serious so he corrected himself.

 

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. Let me get a better grip.� He tossed her lightly and she squealed in delight, clinging to his arms tight. Justin chuckled at her response and kissed the side of her head, holding her close so she knew the last thing he would ever do was drop her.

 

Finally they let Margaret escorted them out of the dreary isolation wing to the long term treatment wing. On their way, she showed them the playroom where they had story time each day and special visitors once a week for the children.

 

Arriving at room 4523, they were led inside and just as Justin has said, Kiki was pleasantly surprised and quite impressed with what she saw. The room looked more like a small studio apartment than the typical barren hospital room. Of course there was the standard center piece - a hospital bed – sitting to the left side of the room, but it was in between a pseudo living room set at the front and a day bed at the back. On the right side of the room, in front of the group of sitting and sleeping furniture, was a dresser stand with a TV and DVD player on top. The ambience of the room was nothing like a hospital either, especially with the pictures of Elmo doing various activities all over the walls, hence its name: “The Elmo Room�. Another welcomed addition was the adjoining full bathroom in the back right corner of the room. The whole layout and all the accommodations of the long term treatment room was designed to not only create some normalcy and comfort for the child, but also took in consideration the parents who understandably refused to leave their child’s side and provided them some lodging as well. It was very much appreciated by Kiki and Justin. And as for Cheyenne, well…

 

“Mommy Elmo!� She cheered with excitement.

 

“I see. Its cool isn’t it?�

 

She nodded and when Justin playfully deposited her on her bed, she giggled. In spite of where they were, the cheerful room and especially the cheerful baby, lightened the mood of this ordeal a little more.

 

After scoping out the room, Kiki was settled on the bed with Cheyenne in her lap and Justin was sitting in front of them as they were talking, when Dr. Sabine rejoined them.

 

“So what do we think about the Elmo Room? It’s pretty neat huh Cheyenne?�

 

“Yes.� She answered as she looked around. “I like Elmo hula.� She pointed to the picture across the room of Elmo hula hooping.

 

“Can you hula hoop?� She nodded confidently, but Kiki was behind her shaking her head and trying not to laugh. Cheyenne’s version of hula hooping involved her wiggling her hips in a circle, but she never let go of the hoop.

 

Dr. Sabine may not have vocalized it but his amusement was very much visible. “Well then I think me and the nurses will have to get you a new hula hoop before you get out of here huh?� It was tradition for the staff to give a graduation present of sorts when one of their patients was discharged. Cheyenne nodded, her focus now on playing with Duke. “That means we have to get her started on her treatments tomorrow afternoon.� He now addressed her parents. “From the start her chemotherapy is going to be very rigorous to stop the leukemia’s progression and fight the damage that’s already been done. The means the side effects are going to start fairly quickly, the reason for her status as an in-patient rather than an out-patient.� Justin and Kiki were hearing everything he was saying as they steeled themselves for what they were going to have to see and comfort Cheyenne through. Dr. Sabine could see them mentally and emotionally preparing themselves and proceeded. “I assume you are aware of the side effects she’ll experience?�

 

Justin nodded as he exhaled deeply and watched his baby girl in her own little happy world, hating that she had to go through this.

 

Kiki was in the same state of mind and as much as she didn’t want to have them listed to her, she still needed to know what was going to happen to her child. “She’s going to be very exhausted, weak, horribly nauseous and she’s going to have hair loss. Right?�

 

Regretfully Dr. Sabine confirmed that and sighing sadly, he said. “It’s a horribly paradox, chemotherapy. While it destroys the cancer, it also damages the rest of the body that is perfectly healthy. How I wish we had other treatment options that weren’t so detrimental.�

 

Kiki responded with sullen acceptance. “It’s our only option though so…� They had no control over the matter and could only deal with whatever the fall out was as best as they could.

 

Feeling just as discontented, Justin reached out to hold her hand in consolation and comradery. Together they’d be strong and get Cheyenne over this hurdle.

 

As they were talking, the breakfast cart arrived with Cheyenne’s meal. Justin offered to get her situated while Kiki and Dr. Sabine moved to sit on the sofa and finish talking. He’d catch up later. It wasn’t ideal at all, but in a way this was his first time put breakfast together for his daughter. This situation all together wasn’t ideal, but this was where they were and he was using what he had to connect with her. And so far it was going better than he could have ever hoped for.

 

Once he saw Cheyenne had her Kix, fruit salad and orange juice on the tray table in front of her, completely under control. He kissed the top of her head and joined the others in the pseudo living room.

 

Dr. Sabine was filling Kiki in on the selection menu for Cheyenne’s lunch, dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast that came with her meal. He explained that they would have to fill one out each day for her daily meal plan.

 

“Okay Dr. Sabine you’ve met our mothers and you saw the spread they brought in here for us last night. They’re about ten times worse when it comes to their grandbaby, so is it okay if she eats non-hospital foods?�

 

Being familiar with mothers and their stance on the importance of home cooked meals, he asked with mirth in his voice. “Well what kind of foods are we talking about?�

 

Cheyenne was used to a healthy diet that consisted of home cooked foods, but fast food did find its way in occasional. Especially if it was cheeseburgers and fries from Sonic, but her favorite foods were her Gigi’s quesadillas and her Nonnie’s cooked zucchini. Kiki wanted to make sure these foods wouldn’t aggravate her illness or interfere with her treatment.

 

Dr. Sabine assured her that unless she was allergic to it, any foods were okay for Cheyenne to eat. He did warn that with the extreme nausea she’d experience, a change in appetite was a likely occurrence, meaning she may avoid even her favorites if they made her feel sick.

 

Glancing at Cheyenne who was digging into her cereal, again Kiki had to accept that her poor baby was about to go through hell. “Okay. Um there is one more thing though. She’s a choc-o-holic.�

 

Justin smirked and Dr. Sabine chuckled. “In moderation and she’ll be fine.�

 

“Great!� She really didn’t want to have to deal with a chocolate deprived Cheyenne. Her little pixie was addicted!

 

“Alright with that said, for today we’re going to let her rest up and monitor her vitals throughout the day.� Dr. Sabine began wrapping up this morning’s meeting. “I’ll be in and out, but if you have any questions Margaret and any of the other nurses will be available. If you want to speak with me directly, feel free to have me paged.�

 

“Thanks again Dr. Sabine.� Justin shook hands with the man and he nodded courteously to Kiki.

 

“I’ll see you later. Bye Cheyenne.�

 

“Bye Dr. Harry.� She waved and took a sip of juice.

 

Once he was gone, Justin and Kiki rejoined Cheyenne on her bed as she finished eating. After her breakfast, Kiki put the TV on Nickelodeon and Cheyenne quickly fell into an episode of Backyardigans.

 

Hungry and in need of a caffeine fix, Justin decided to go see what the café downstairs had to offer, but not before getting an order from Kiki.

 

“Get me a regular coffee – cream and sugar – and if they have any, a muffin…B-“

 

“Blueberry.� He finished for her and Kiki smiled at the fact that he remembered.

 

When Justin returned, he found that their parents had arrived.

 

“Ooh visitors. Hey Ma, Dad.� Justin greeted them happily, but got no greeting in return. His and Kiki’s parents were too engrossed in Cheyenne who was eating up the attention, the books, puzzles, and other toys they had brought to keep her entertained.

 

“Get used to it.�

 

He turned to see Kiki sitting on the sofa with her laptop, going through her email. “You’ve served your purpose, you’ve given them a grandchild. You no longer count.�

 

Seeing as his parents had yet to acknowledge him, Justin saw that she was absolutely right and dropped onto the cushion next to her. “Huh. Well here’s your coffee and muffin.�

 

“Oh they thought about us enough to bring breakfast.� She pointed to the McDonald’s bags and coffees on the coffee table. “Guess we can just eat those muffins later.�

 

“You can.� Justin corrected and added his banana nut muffin to his Mickey D’s bag that contained 2 breakfast sandwiches.

 

“Greedy much.� He grinned and bobbed his head agreeably as he opened up his first sandwich.

 

It was then that Lynn noticed her son’s presence. “Oh hi honey.�

 

“Hi Ma.� He said through his mouthful of food.

 

The rest of the parents fell into line greeting him now that Cheyenne was sufficiently showered with affection.

 

“So how was your night?� Nina asked and sat herself on the sofa chair adjacent to Kiki. Lynn sat in the one opposite her and Paul perched on the arm. Frederick stayed with Cheyenne reading her one of the new book he and Nina brought her.

 

Putting her laptop aside, Kiki looked over at Justin and they smiled at each other, thinking about how well his and Cheyenne’s introduction had gone. “It was pretty good actually. I mean it was crazy uncomfortable sleeping on those sofas.� Justin couldn’t agree more. “But Cheyenne was fine through the night so..�

 

Nearby, Cheyenne had taken over “reading� her book, so Frederick was able to join the conversation. “What’d the doctor say this morning?�

 

“Her temperature is stable and her WBC count is up, so her chemo starts tomorrow.� The last was said with glumness by Justin. Tomorrow may be the beginning of Cheyenne’s recovery, but it was also the start of a hard battle.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Paul and Frederick stayed for a little while before they left for work. Frederick had a meeting he couldn’t reschedule and Paul had volunteered to man the office for the day. Tomorrow he and Lynn were closing for the day, and Nina and Frederick were taking the day off so they could be there for moral support. It wasn’t far fetched to assume everyone would be stopping in for the next few days.

 

Nina and Lynn had decided to stick around until it was time for their lunch date with a few mutual friends. Besides they had brought with them a few things they wanted to share with Justin.

 

He had just finished checking his own email on Kiki’s computer when his mother asked for his and Kiki’s attention. “Put that thing away. We have something better for the two of you to look at.�

 

Both she and Nina grabbed the tote bags they arrived with and pulled out DVDs and a some photo albums. “We thought you might want to play catch up while you were cooped up in here.� Nina teased.

 

“The DVDs and pictures are actually yours. Copies we’ve been saving up for you.� Justin was speechless over his mother’s and Nina’s gesture. It was as if they both believed he’d eventually get his act together and instead of shutting him out they were helping him build a relationship with Cheyenne.

 

He looked at the DVDs with different titles like, Pixie’s Firsts and Happy First Christmas Cheyenne! He may not have been there, but it was still soul-soothing to know he’d get a glimpse of his daughter’s life so far. “Wow. This is…� He shook his head, a lost for words. “Thank you so much.�

 

“Just so you know, this is a one time deal. No more disappearing acts.� Nina chastised him jokingly. “You take your own pictures and videos from now on.� She smiled kindly and he nodded his complete compliance of the camouflaged order.

 

“And I’m giving you this one chance honey: Do I have anymore grandchildren out there that you haven’t told me about?�

 

Kiki and Nina giggled while he rolled his eyes at her. “No Mama.�

 

“Just checking.� She smirked at him and reached over to ruffle his head. “I’m proud of you baby. It may be a little late, but you stood up and proved to be the man that I raised you to be.� Justin smiled brightly, happy that he’d gained back his mother pride and faith in him.

 

Beside him, Kiki had cracked open the first in the series of photo albums. She had seen most of there pictures a hundred times, if not taken them herself, but going down memory lane was always fun.

 

“Hey Pix, you wanna see some pictures?�

 

Cheyenne had been sitting on her bed, enjoy her new books, but looking at pictures was much more entertaining. Being closest to her, Nina grabbed her granddaughter when she looked as if she was going to try to get out of the bed herself and placed her in Kiki’s arms.

 

Going back to the first page, Kiki placed the album in Justin’s lap and turned herself and Cheyenne so all three of them could see the pictures. The first page was sonograms of Cheyenne and Justin studied the little black and white snap shots intently committing to memory every detail that Kiki pointed out to him.

 

The next page was of Kiki pregnant during her first, second and last trimester.

 

“Mommy you have a tummy.�

 

Tummy and all, Kiki was beautiful pregnant, Justin thought. It was just another thing he regretted not seeing for himself.

 

“That’s because you were inside my tummy.�

 

“That me?� She pointed to her mother’s protruding 8 month pregnant stomach.

 

“Yup and this.� Kiki flipped to the next page. “Is you as a little baby.� They were pictures of Cheyenne only hours after her birth and Justin looked at them in awe. She looked so innocent and brand new.

 

“A beautiful little baby.� He got a big bright smile from her followed by a giggle when he gently booped her nose.

 

“Next page.� Cheyenne announced while already starting to move on, apparently having her fill of those photos.

 

For the rest of the morning, the five of them looked through the albums and talked until it was time for Nina and Lynn to go. To no surprise, they left and right after, Maya, Marissa and Tami filed in to visit while on their lunch break. The guys weren’t far behind. Trace’s visit being the most memorable when he was introduced to Cheyenne for the first time and Justin kept calling him Uncle Tracey – getting a giggle out of Kiki and a grumble for him. Kiki’s cell and the room phone was ringing off the hook, flowers, cards and teddy bears came pouring in as news about Cheyenne’s hospitalization spread. It was well after they had dinner, provided by Nina who was playing delivery person tonight with her husband in tow, that they had peace and quiet in the room again.

 

While the three of them were lounging on the daybed, watching a movie, Cheyenne cuddled up in Kiki’s arms falling asleep, the quiet was broken by Justin’s cell phone. He was just going to ignore it at first until he saw who was calling. Now he wasn’t sure if he should or even wanted to answer.

 

“Uh… I’m gonna take this outside.� He muted his phone so not to interrupt again and slid out of the bed. “Either of you want anything?�

 

“No I’m fine and...� Kiki looked down in the crook of her arm and chuckled. “She’s out.�

 

Justin peered in to see her cute little sleeping face, that fist tucked under her chin and he smiled. “Okay. I’ll be back.�

 

Leaving the room, he went down to the visitor’s lounge and called Cameron back.

 

“Hey.�

 

“Hi. How are you? How’s Cheyenne?�

 

“I’m good. She’s good. Her infection is gone and she’s out of isolation, but that means her chemo starts tomorrow.�

 

“Yeah it’s a tough process, but she still needs it to get better.�

 

Justin was smiling as he listened to her talk. She sounded much more understanding then she did yesterday. Maybe she could handle him having a child. “Yeah I hate that she had to go through this. She’s so young and so…God she such a happy, bubbly little girl. Kiki did a great job raising her.�

 

Cameron could hear such pride and happiness in his voice that she’d never heard before despite his daughter’s illness. He really was enjoying being in her life now and it made her happy for him. “She has you too now, so I’m sure she’ll be just fine in the end.�

 

“God I hope so.� If he had to watch that happiness and light in her eyes be dimmed by all this, it would break his heart. All he could do was believe she’d bounce back better than ever. “How have you been?�

 

“Good. I didn’t do much today. I had lunch with Drew and we did some shopping. Other than that I’ve just been thinking.�

 

He wasn’t stupid enough to think she hadn’t told her best friend what was going on, but they weren’t stupid enough to blab to anyone. Not if they didn’t want to set him off, so he didn’t even bother to worry about that little get together. He did want to know if she’d come to any conclusions during her discussion with Drew. “And?�

 

He heard her sigh over the line before she answered. “I’m not sure. I still need to figure this all out. It’s a lot to take Justin.�

 

“I know. I understand. You gotta do, what you gotta do.�

 

She was quiet for awhile until she said. “Yeah….but um I know the next couple of days are going to be hectic for you, so um I’ll probably come to visit in a few days.�

 

“Okay.�

 

“Okay.� Again there was awkward silence between them, neither knowing what to say. It was probably best that they just say goodbye for now. “Well I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you later?�

 

“Yeah. You have a good night.�

 

“You too. Night.�

 

“Night.� He hung up and took a deep breath. That was stressful and yet nothing concerning their relationship was resolved. Apparently it would just have to stay that way until she made a decision on her own. He wasn’t going to push her and to be honest, he had a more important relationship to concentrate on.

 

Returning to the Elmo Room, he found Kiki had moved herself and Cheyenne to the bed and they were snuggled up under the covers. It was a sight that put a smile on his face and anything outside of this room was non existent.

 

“Comfy?�

 

Kiki laughed softy. “She was in a whole other room from me last night. I don’t even want her on another side of this room tonight.� Watching her baby sleep, she leaned down to kiss her cheek. When she looked back at Justin, she could see a longing in his face, so lifting the blanket on the other side of Cheyenne and smiled warmly. “You’re more than welcomed to bunk out with us. We can have a sleepover.�

 

“Cool!� He cheered like a big kid and joined them. Kicking off his sneakers, he stretched out next to the two ladies and before settling down, he kissed Cheyenne goodnight. He was lying back with his hand behind his head when he noticed Kiki was watching a different movie.

 

“What are we watching now?�

 

“Not another cartoon movie, thank God.�

 

He laughed lightly, trying not to disturb the sleeping baby. “I’m glad you said it.�

 

“Oh honey, it’s just begun for you. Welcome to the world of a two year old.�

After over a week of consistent visits from the whole family, specifically the comings and goings of Joey and JC every couple of days, suspicion began to rise. The media had informants all over the city, not necessarily anywhere near the secure pediatrics wings, but they were definitely elsewhere in the hospital and they started buzzing. Speculations were popping up all over the place, most of them saying Justin was the one that the guys were visiting in the hospital. Especially considering he hadn’t been spotted around the city lately. There were claims that he had had either a drug overdose, alcohol poisoning, or a nervous breakdown. It was all ridiculous, but luckily far from the truth.

 

Of course the phones at WEG were ringing off the hook as a result and Johnny was on the hunt for Justin. But he got to him first after Extra aired a story on his “mysterious disappearance�.

 

“It’s about time you called me kid. What the hell is going on? Are you okay at least?�

 

“Yeah I’m fine. I am going to be out of commission for awhile so I need you to clear my schedule for the next 8 weeks at min.�

 

“That long? Shit. I’m starting to believe what they’re saying. Are you sure you’re okay?�

 

“I am fine. But I am at Cedars like they said.�

 

“Why? Is it family?�

 

“Uh yeah. It is, its my…um my daughter. She’s sick.�

 

“Your what?�

 

“I know, but yes I have a daughter that no one other than my family knew about. It’s a long story involving me fucking up and abandoning her, but she was just diagnosed with leukemia and I’m a donor match. It’s all been a big wake up call for me I can tell you that.�

 

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you have a kid and no one’s found out. How old is she? When did this happen?�

 

“Her name is Cheyenne and she’s 20 months old.� He sighed before he added the next piece to the story, a part Johnny himself should be familiar with. “Do you remember Kiki Lewis? She was the girl I danced with for the first leg of Justified.�

 

Johnny searched his memory bank and it all started coming back. “You were screwing around with her, one of your employees Justin?�

 

“It wasn’t like that. We were dating, we were in a relationship.� We were in love.

 

Putting all the pieces from the past together, Johnny couldn’t believe he had missed what was going on practically right in front of his face. He could remember a number of times when he was checking on the tour’s progress, running into the pretty brunette girl. It was now obvious that he was probably just missing one of their rendezvous. There was also the flirting he’d seen between them, but at the time he just attributed it to two flirtatious personalities. Now that he knew that much more had been going on it was no wonder they had such great chemistry on stage that could not be recaptured with the dancer from the second leg. Hell it was now clear why they even had to get a second dancer for the position in the first place. His hard-headed client had gone and knocked up the first one.

 

“So let me get this straight – you’ve got a kid with one of your ex dancers, that you haven’t been taking care of for over a year and a half, but you’re had a recent change of heart and are going to be an active parent now?� He clarified and Justin confirmed it all. “Why haven’t you told me about this before? I’ve know you how long kid?� As a manger this was information that should have been privy to, but more importantly, as a friend, it was news he should have been trusted to share with.

 

Justin could hear the slight hurt and disappointment in his voice and it made him feel horrible. Johnny was more than a manager, he was a good friend, like family and it stung to know that he disappointed either role with his failure. Just one more to add to the list. “I’m sorry. I fucked up.�

 

“Yeah you did. But it sounds like you’re getting everything on track now.�

 

“Yeah I’m not going anywhere again and me and my daughter are really connecting.�

 

“Good. I’m happy for the both of you.� Johnny smiled on the other line. Justin was lucky to have a second chance to be a father and he sounded like he was very happy with his new role. Hopefully he would hold on tight to that happiness through the media storm that was coming. “Its good that at least one matter is settled because you know the shits going to hit the fan when this gets out.�

 

“Yeah I know and I’m prepared to deal with whatever fall out there is.� Justin confidently answered.

 

“Sounds like you have a plan.�

 

“I do.�

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

As much as he hated it, for about two weeks Justin played a game of tag with the media. Each day he left the hospital via their back entrance reserved for the private ins and outs of celebrities. He would spend a few hours out and about around LA, making sure he was seen to disprove the claims that he was in hiding or any of the other crazy stories the media had come up with. He even enlisted the help of his parents, Trace and to his grateful surprise when she offered her assistance, Cameron. On some days he’d go out with one of them, keeping up the guise that everything was normal in Justin Timberlake’s world.

 

In the meantime his publicity team was working their magic, releasing a statement that he was never a patient at Cedar Sinai for any reason (The truth). They attributed his recent absence in LA to relaxing and visiting family back in Tennessee for a week. Using some tricks of the trade they even managed to conjure up some photos of him in his hometown while he was supposedly in the hospital. As for the reason behind Joey and JC’s frequent visits to Cedars? Easy. A close friend of theirs, even Justin’s, was hospitalized (Again not necessarily a lie). To give validity to the story, Justin made a show of walking direct through the hospital’s main entrance to visiting said “friend� with a bouquet of flowers and everything in hand. What no one saw was that as soon as he got into the hospital, he used a back stairway to get to the fourth floor of the hospital and rejoined Kiki and Cheyenne for about a half an hour. Then he left the hospital the same way he came in and after losing the paps that had been following him recently, he returned to the hospital through the private entrance. 

 

It was silly and immature lengths he had to go through to get around the media, but it had to be done and was well worth it. As was putting up with the harassment and badgering he had to go through while out in public during one of his “appearances�. In the past he would have been confrontational with the photohogs, but now, he stayed constantly aware that he had to keep his cool. Not for himself and his image, but for Cheyenne, for her safety and the sake of her privacy while she was in treatment. Both she and Kiki didn’t need any added stress in their lives right now. He had to protect them so he gritted his teeth and bore each time.

 

Thankfully it worked in the end. After those two weeks of putting on a show for the public, the media got tired of boring, sane, perfectly healthy Justin and moved on to his crazier, news making Hollywood peers. Ironically one of them being his ex and all her drama. He never thought he’d say or think it again, but Thank you Britney.

 

With that mess behind him, at least for the time being, using the private entrance whenever he left and keeping a low profile when venturing out, Justin was able to return to his daughter’s side permanently.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

In the midst of dodging the paparazzi, Cheyenne’s first round of chemotherapy treatment had started. It made for some normal, manageable days and others that were unbearable for everyone in that room.

 

Just as Dr. Sabine had warned, some of the worse side effects of chemotherapy started fairly quickly. There were days she was so weak and fatigued that she slept all day. When she did have an appetite sometimes she was too tired to eat, chewing and swallowing was too much of an effort for her. Of course when she did eat, what she consumed didn’t always stay down.

 

Cheyenne was miserable during those rough patches and her parents were at a loss, completely powerless to stop it. Before her treatment began, the mere thought of what their daughter would have to go through was bad enough, but seeing it first hand took their heartache and fears to another level. It was no surprise when Kiki snapped……

 

 

 

Cheyenne had woken up that day in bad shape, nauseous and exhausted and it only got worse as yet another dose of chemo was administered to her that afternoon. Justin and Kiki were barely keeping it together after basically watching poison being pumped into their child once again. The room was quiet and somber, as Cheyenne lay in her mother’s lap on the hospital bed next to her father, looking pale and completely drained after the day’s treatment was complete.

 

Suddenly the silence was broken by her retching. Quickly Kiki grabbed the basin that always sat next to the bed for that exact purpose, and just caught the vomit that came out of the toddler. Sitting her up so she wouldn’t choke, Kiki held her baby while Justin soothing rubbed her back and she emptied the contents of her stomach. When there was nothing left for her to excrete, she began to dry heave and cry out in pain.

 

“Call the nurse. She can’t take this anymore.� Kiki choked out through her sobs.

 

Wiping his own tears, Justin shot off the bed and pressed the call button for a nurse. It didn’t take long for one of them to come to the room and as soon as she saw the condition Cheyenne was in, she quickly left to retrieve some medication to help control her vomiting and nausea.

 

Once the medication was pushed into Cheyenne’s IV it took some time, too much time as far as her parents were concerned, to work. When it did she was so exhausted from the experience she passed out and Kiki fell apart.

 

Sobbing uncontrollably, she slid out of the bed, passing Cheyenne off into Justin’s arms and backed away towards the door. “Oh God I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard.�

 

Justin finished tucking Cheyenne into bed and turned around to take care of Kiki next, but she pushed him away.

 

“No, no.� She was freaking out with a wild inconsolable look in her eyes as tears poured down her face and he back off. “I can’t. I can’t.� She repeated over and over again, furiously shaking her head, her eyes locked on her baby’s still body. She couldn’t stand to watch her child suffer for another second.

 

“Kiki come on its going to okay. Come here.� Justin spoke in the calmest voice he could muster, taking nonthreatening steps towards her. All the while he was keeping his own emotions in check. They both were feeling the same painful and helpless emotions, this wasn’t the time for them to turn away from each other, but to help one another cope. Unfortunately, Kiki was feeling so tormented, she couldn’t see that.

 

“I can’t. I can’t. I gotta get out of here.� Before Justin knew it she whirled around and bolted from the room.

 

“Kiki!� He called after her, but only followed as far as the door frame. He couldn’t leave Cheyenne alone, so he helplessly watched her hurry down the hall until she disappeared around the corner. “Damnit.�

 

Going back into the room, Justin first called for a nurse to check up on Cheyenne. All her vitals were examined and everything came up normal. She was just suffering from exhaustion and as warped as it sounded, her passing out was a “normal� occurrence for someone under chemotherapy. Her body was going through a lot right now and it was desperate for some rest, so it took action, shutting itself down. The nurse assured Justin that once she was well rested, Cheyenne would wake up again.

 

He appreciated her explanation, but it gave him no amount of comfort because as soon as she woke up, she would just have to go through it again. It was a vicious cycle that was tearing his daughter, himself and Kiki apart.

 

Kiki.

 

The nurse left and he started pacing. Should he have someone come and watch Cheyenne so he could go find her or should he leave her alone to deal with this on her own? No, Kiki shouldn’t be left alone in the state she was in. As much as he wanted to be that someone who consoled her right now, he couldn’t leave his daughter, so Justin grabbed his cell and placed an urgent call.

 

“Hi Mr. Lewis. It’s Justin…..Not too good. I need your help.�

 

 

 

Within the hour all of Kiki’s immediate family was at the hospital. Justin explained what had happened to her parents and siblings, and they each ached for their daughter and sister. Kiki was the toughest Lewis of them all and to hear that she fell apart and ran away like that, they knew this situation was really taking its toll on her. They all wanted to go and find her, but there was no telling where she ran off to. For the time being the only thing they could do was wait her out.

 

Nina wasn’t so gung ho on waiting to find her child who was hurting and her mind was racing trying to figure out where she could have disappeared to. She was very worried about Kiki. Watching your child suffer could break anyone even someone as strong as her hijita. Ignoring the useless, time consuming conversation going on around her, Nina noted a few things, like Kiki’s purse was still in the room, meaning she couldn’t have gotten that far. She was probably still on hospital grounds, but where?

 

When a strong possibility hit her, she came out of her chair. “I think I know where she is.�

 

“Where?� Justin anxiously asked.

 

She politely waved off his and the others’ ready to go stance. She had to be the one to retrieve her daughter. Kiki needed her mother now more than ever.

 

“I’ll take care of it.� She made her way to the exit, “we’ll be back soon,� and left the room.

 

Those remaining relaxed slightly knowing Nina was the right person for the job and wherever Kiki was, she would bring her back. In more ways than one.

 

Following the directions posted around the hospital, Nina found her daughter all alone sitting in the first pew of Cedars Sinai’s chapel. Slowly approaching her, as not to startle her, she spoke up, announcing her presence. “I remember when you were four and we came here the day your brother broke his wrist. On the way out you saw the sign for the chapel and you insisted that we come in here to say a pray so God would ‘glue Derek’s bones back together’.� They both laughed lightly at the memory and reaching the front pew, Nina took a seat next to her.

 

She looked terrible; her face was streaked with tears, her eyes puffy and red, and worse of all was the defeated aura in her presence. This was not a good state that Kiki was in.

 

“That prayer work for Derek, one should work for Cheyenne too right?� She reasoned why she was hiding out in the chapel.  

 

“You know me honey. I believe prayer cures all.� Nina quipped and Kiki snorted a laugh. Her mother wasn’t an extremist when it came to religion, but she was a devote Catholic. Kiki had been raised in the church and considered herself a somewhat religious, but very spiritual person, still not as dedicated as her mother.

 

“I wish I could have as much faith as you do. I wish I was as strong as you are.� She sniffled, feeling her tears building again.

 

Nina balked slightly. “Oh hijita, the strength you’ve shown since Cheyenne’s been here is so admirable.�

 

Kiki scoffed. “No. Far from it actually because here I am selfishly falling apart and running away when my daughter is going through hell.� Getting angry with herself, she violently wiped a tear from her cheek. “This is not strength, this is pathetic weakness.�

 

Oh no. Nina thought as she saw this completely foreign side come out of her daughter and it scared her. This was bad and was not going to fly. Not now. “Don’t you do this Kiki. Don’t you dare give up because that would be weakness and you have never been weak. You hear me?� She grabbed Kiki’s face and turned her towards her, making sure everything she was saying sunk in. “There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. You’re a mother, your child’s pain is your own.�

 

Kiki jerked away from her and bound out of her seat. “Some mother I’m turning out to be.� She seethed. “I’m supposed to protect her from any and every thing, but I can’t protect her from this.� Nina watched her daughter’s anger turn to despair and it broken her heart as her words got jumbled with a sob. “She’s so sick, so weak. She’d been throwing up all day and all the while she’s looking at me for help. Like always. But this time I can’t. I don’t know how and its killing me.� Her body sagged with heartache and she began to sob thinking about Cheyenne looking so miserable and desperate for some relief. Relief that her mother was supposed to give her, but there was truthfully, nothing Kiki could do and it made her feel like a failure as a mother.

 

Nina watched her child, her baby crumble right in front of her, but no matter how bad she wanted to hold her and take away her pain, she refrained from doing so for the time being. Kiki needed this. She needed to finally confront her feelings surrounding this whole ordeal, instead of burying them.

 

“Cheyenne is going through so much and her own mother can’t do shit for her. How sad is that.� Sniffling as she wiped her tears away, a piteous defeat was taking over her and Nina decided that enough was enough. It was time for her to play mom and snap her daughter out of it before she tore herself down even more.

 

“Stop it. You stop this right now. You cannot do this to yourself baby.� She stood up and fiercely grabbed Kiki’s arms, shaking her slightly. “It is hard, damn near maddening knowing that you have no control over a situation that involves the safety and health of your child, but some times you have no other choice, but to leave it in God’s hands.� Nina truly believed that it was not Cheyenne’s time and she would beat this cancer. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. They all just had to keep holding on. “The worse thing you could do is blame yourself and lose hope. None, not one ounce of this is your fault and you are doing everything that you can do for your daughter. Why do you think she’s surviving, being so strong and resilient through this?� Kiki peered at her mother with a renewed hopefulness sparkling in her eyes.

 

Cheyenne was demonstrating a strength that was rather surprising and very inspiring. Yes she had her bad days, but the next day she’d feel better and be all smiles like it never happened.

 

“It’s because of you, your strength and positivity is helping her fight this disease and keeping her spirits up. That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do and you are doing it beautifully. I’m so proud of you.� Nina beamed with tears glistening in her eyes. “You have to keep this up, stay strong, but at the same time let your anger, your fears and hurt out some times. You can’t bottle it in anymore like you have been.�

 

Giving into the truth of the matter, Kiki sighed and dropped back into her seat. “I know that. It’s just-“

 

“It’s just nothing. You have way too many people around you to lean on, including Justin. And he’s the only other person who is dealing with the exact same thing you are.�

 

“Oh God.� Justin…. “You’re right.� She felt even more selfish now. Justin had to be feeling just as helpless and afraid. When she should have been reaching out to him so that they could both get through the bad days together, she was blocking him out and on top of everything else he was dealing with, she piled on her break down. Only an hour ago she left him high and dry to take care of Cheyenne during one of the worse days she’d had to date. “I gotta get a fucking grip.�

 

Nina nodded agreeably and too happy to see some of her daughter’s spark back, she held back from censoring her language. Instead she replied. “Please do.� Kiki snorted and chortled at her mother’s dig. “Give yourself a break honey. From a three time mother of 29 years I can tell you that you’re doing a great job considering the pressure you are under. For Cheyenne’s and your own sake, bring back that beautifully tough and feisty woman who’s not afraid to face anything or ask for help when she needs it.� She rallied her up and reached over to caress the side of her face. “You can do this baby. I know you can. You are an incredible person and mother and Cheyenne is so lucky to have you.�

 

Tears, this time of happiness, began to fall from Kiki’s eyes. “Thank you Mamí.� She smiled genuinely for the first time in days and her mother pulled her into a tight, loving embrace.

 

Drawing comfort and renewed strength from her, Kiki processed everything that she’d woken up to. She was in the middle of the hardest time of her life and was allowed to crumble a little. Just as long as she put herself back together again. Part of that included relying on others for some help and giving herself a little break from the pressure from time to time. She didn’t want to fall apart like this again. It wasn’t healthy for herself and most importantly it was the last thing Cheyenne needed. It was time for bad ass Kiki to come back. Out of all things in the world, she wasn’t going to let this bring down her or her baby.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

“About time you came back. We were about to send out a search party.� Derek quipped when a smiling Kiki and Nina returned to the room. It looked like their mother used her superpowers again and pulled his sister out of the depressed state Justin told them she had been in lately. He was glad to see her smiling; he hated seeing either of his baby sisters upset.

 

Kiki grinned at his comment and walked over to see how Cheyenne was doing. Curled up next to Justin, who had been at her side since she left, she was still peacefully asleep and Kiki was relieved that she was getting some rest after such a rough day.

 

“Yeah well…� Standing at Cheyenne’s bedside, she reached over to softly stroked her head. “You sent out the bloodhound so you know I was going to be found.� She teased and Nina glared at the nickname her children had given her years ago while they laughed.

 

Their mother always had a sixth sense when it came to her children’s location. She always knew exactly where to find them.

 

Feeling Justin’s concerned stare on her since she walked into the room, Kiki’s eyes finally connected with his and she was surprised to see how truly worried he was about her. They needed to talk, but first. “How’s she been? Has she woken up?�

 

“No she’s been asleep since you left. I called a nurse to come and check up on her and she said she was fine. She just needs some rest.�

 

“Yeah. Okay.� Again Kiki reached out and touch Cheyenne, needed that contact to reassure herself that she was really okay. Her face was still pale, but it was no longer marred with signs of pain and fear. And after watching the rise and fall of her chest, Kiki could believe that she was okay now. It was time to settle up with her daughter’s father. “Can we go and talk for a minute?�

 

“Yeah sure.� He replied anxiously. She looked a lot better than she did earlier, but he wanted to hear her say that she was fine.

 

“We’ll be right back.� Kiki told her family as she and Justin excused themselves from the room.

 

“So are you okay?� He questioned once the door was closed behind them.

 

“Yeah. Me and my mom talked and she definitely helped me get my head together.� She smiled lightly at the kick in the butt she’d gotten and was grateful for. “I was just really stressed out and not dealing and I want to apologize to you for that.� He gave her a perplexed look and she clarified. “You’re probably just as stressed as me. We’re going through this together and instead of leaning on you and letting you lean on me. I’ve been putting up a wall, keeping it all in and you out. Making you deal with my break down on top of your own grief was unfair and I’m sorry.�

 

“You don’t have to apologize. I understand. You’re used to handling Cheyenne and everything on your own.�

 

“But that’s changed now, right?� He nodded. “Then I need to start communicating with you more and not just while we’re here.� If her assumption was correct, Kiki was no longer a single mother. She would have to get used to sharing the responsibility of raised their child.

 

“We both have to…damn I can’t believe I’m gonna say this – get in synch.� He groaned and Kiki laughed out loud. Watching her face brighten in amusement, as opposed to the dark and depressed glower she wore only hours ago, brought a smile to his face. She had that positive light back and he hoped she wouldn’t lose it again. Maybe his suggestion would guarantee that. “Listen. What do you think about us going to those family support groups they have here? I mean it might help us when we both are having a tough time.�

 

Kiki smiled, moved by his thoughtfulness. “That’s a really good idea and I think we should do it.�

 

“Yeah?� She nodded eagerly and he beamed, glad that she was so open to his proposal. “Cool.�

 

“Thank you Justin. For everything, for being the rock when I was falling apart.�

 

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad I could be here for you and Cheyenne.�

 

A smile flashed on her face before she cut out the space between them and gave Justin a hug. Without pause, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

 

It was possible that they had just gotten pass the biggest emotional hurdle of this whole experience. They couldn’t fool themselves into thinking there wouldn’t be any more bad days, but they certainly would not be as bad as today. Together Justin and Kiki would make sure to keep themselves and each other emotionally and mentally intact from now on. They were Cheyenne’s most vital support system, there was no room for falling apart and running away again. Whatever outlet they had available – each other, the support group or even just taking turns having a break outside of the hospital – they would make use of it to help them survive this and come out stronger in the end.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

Now along with the worse day that Kiki, Justin and Cheyenne had during the first round of treatment, they also had one of the best days together…..

 

 

One of the many presents Cheyenne had stocked piled to keep her entertained during her stay was a plethora of puzzles, some toddler ages and some for older children that she could do with her parents. Justin was helping her with a 30 piece puzzle of Dora the Explorer, her absolute favorite cartoon, as they sat side by side in front of the tray table with the cardboard piece spread out on the surface.

 

Kiki was lounging on the daybed reading a book, when they suddenly went quiet and she glanced up to see the two were deep in concentration, separating the edged and jagged pieces. As she watched them it came to her attention that father and daughter shared certain mannerisms while they worked hard on their task. Both of them kept their lips tightly pursed and eyebrows scrunched up as they strategically placed pieces to build the frame of the puzzle. Many times she’d seen Cheyenne make that face while she was deep in thought or during one of her activities and it amazed her that up until now she’d never wondered where she got that from or attributed it to Justin. She had plenty of physical features like her father, one that had yet to be revealed and she thought Cheyenne might get a kick out of it, plus it would make for another bonding moment between them.

 

“Hey Pixie guess what?�

 

“What?� She answered, still diligently working on the puzzle.

 

“You have spots and I don’t, right?�

 

“Uh huh.� Her attention continued to stay on the puzzle, but she was politely answering each of her mother’s questions. It was a rarity that Kiki interrupted her during her puzzle time, but when she did it was so impressive how she could divide her attention so well for a child.

 

“Well your Daddy does have spots just like you.�

 

Both Cheyenne and Justin stopped what they were doing and looked up at Kiki at the exact same time. That plus the looks on their faces made her giggle.

 

Justin was obviously bemused. He had been deep in his amazement watching his daughter, his 20 month old daughter put together a puzzle that was supposed to be for 3 year olds. His mother had said she was a “brain child� but this was far from what he expected. He was so proud of his baby girl. Still he managed to hear Kiki talking about spots and he wondered where she was going with that topic of conversation. When she mentioned him in context his confusion only mounted.

 

Cheyenne on the other hand look awestruck. Her eyes had widened and her jaw dropped before she quickly turned to Justin and exclaimed. “You do?�

 

Completely lost, he stuttered out an ‘�uh, uh� and looked to Kiki for help.

 

And she came through. “He doesn’t understand what spots are so why don’t you show him baby.�

 

“Ok.� She eagerly scooted back in her seat so he could see her “spots� when she pulled her hospital gown up. “See?�

 

When Justin saw the patches of freckles all over her torso, he knew what “spots� were. He smiled at yet another trait he passed on to his daughter, another connection no matter how insignificant that he shared with her since day one.

 

“Whoa those are cool spots.� He praised and tickled her tummy, making her scrunch up in a peel of laughter as she tried to push his wiggling fingers away.

 

Not wanting to tire her out, Justin stopped and let her catch her breath. With their little tickle fest over, Cheyenne smoothed her gown back down and stood up next to him, propping her bent arm on his shoulder.

 

“I see your spots?� She inquired.

 

She wore a face so cute and curious that he granted her request without hesitation, lifting his t-shirt off to expose his white beater underneath. “My spots are on my back.� He leaned his shoulder forward and pointed out his array of freckles.

 

However, there was something else on his back that was ever more interesting to Cheyenne. “Ooh you have picture like Mommy.� Absolutely fascinated she moved behind Justin and pecked under the back of his shirt to get a better look. “Ooh. Pretty.� After admiring the angel tattoo that spanned the middle of his upper back, she leaned over his shoulder and asked her mother with hopefully eyes. “I have picture too?�

 

“We already talked about this honey and I said you can’t have one until your a big, big girl.�

 

Sighing dejectedly, she conceded. “Okay Mommy.�

 

“We’ll get you some new pretend pictures when we go home.� Kiki compromised with a new set of fake tattoos. When she discovered her daughter’s fascination with body art she brought her some of them to whet her appetite. They’d have to do until the day she turned 18. If she still wanted one then, Kiki wouldn’t stop her – she herself was up to 4 now. She might even go with her to get her first one. She was a cool mom after all.

 

“Okay.� Cheyenne perked back up at the prospect.

 

“Now that’s better.� Justin twisted around and pulled her into his lap. “I only like to see smiles on my baby girl’s face.� She beamed up at him for added effect. He laughed and leaned down to kiss her nose. “How about we finish our puzzle?�

 

“Yeah.� She rolled out of his lap and returned to her spot to finish their work.

 

Kiki smiled at the duo as they dived back into their activity and she went back to her book. Mission accomplished.

 

 

 

By the time all the pieces to the picture of Dora and company were in place, it was lunch time for Cheyenne and after that she took another nap before her treatment later in the day. With her out of commission, Kiki saw her chance to ask Justin a burning question.

 

He was sitting next to her on the daybed, watching ESPN when she grabbed his right arm and turned his forearm to face her.

 

Somewhat froze, Justin didn’t pull away, but he slowly turned his head to her when he felt her tracing his most recent “picture�. Considering that they’d both been too preoccupied with caring for Cheyenne, he wasn’t too surprised that it had taken her this long to notice it.

 

“You got her name and I got her birth date.�

 

He gave her a pointed look and she removed her left arm from her t-shirt, and pivoted to show him the tattoo on her shoulder blade. It read: April 12, 2004 with a little abstract dark purple pixie beside it.

 

Like she had, Justin ran his finger across the tattoo. “Cute.�

 

“Thanks. Those music notes are a nice touch.� She commented about the four note scale underneath “Cheyenne�.

 

“They’re the first few notes of Imagine.� He softly revealed.

 

Kiki’s eyes sparkled and her lips part in awe before they curled into a small smile. “Your favorite song.� He nodded and that admission both shocked and touched her to the point where she started rattling off questions. “When did you get it? And why? I mean anyone could have seen it. How did you cover it up?�

 

“I got it on her birthday.� Thinking about that day, he sat back, resting his head on the window sill behind them and sighed. “That was the both the best and the worst day of my life. I can’t tell you how many times that day I was halfway through dialing your number before I hung up.�

 

A little put off by the notion, Kiki asked with a slight edge in her voice. “So instead of coming to see your daughter on her first birthday, you went out and got a tattoo? Why? So you wouldn’t forget she existed?�

 

“Did you think you’d ever forget the day she was born?� He volleyed in defense. “I could never forget her. She was always in my heart, I thought about her constantly.� He stressed. “It was my way of celebrating because I couldn’t do it the right way by coming to see her.� He wanted to commemorate the best part of himself and in a weird way announce it to the world. “I did it on a sentimental impulse. I didn’t regret it, I still don’t, but I wasn’t ready to face my mistakes, my fears then so I hid it with long sleeves and cover up.�

 

“You know when I told you I was pregnant I said that I was just as afraid as you. But I went through with the pregnancy and I didn’t give birth to Cheyenne, then run away. Why did you?�

 

Justin shifted so that he and Kiki were facing each other head on, it was time to hash this out. “You knew from day one that you wanted to be a mother, that you were ready for that, right?� Kiki nodded. “I wasn’t so sure. I wanted Cheyenne, don’t doubt that. A part of me lit up inside at the thought of being a father when you told me. It was something that I always wanted to do with my life.� Despite his actions, Kiki could read the sincerity in his face and believed him when he said that. “And I will always regret letting you walk out of my office that day, but at the time… you know I felt like my career, my life was too unstable for a kid. But that’s bullshit. I could, should have made time for her. I was just too much of a coward and selfish to do what I was supposed to do as a father.� In his voice there was a hint of berating towards his self, but Justin kept his cool. Sitting here, having this discussion with Kiki was a time for letting go of his anger with himself and really putting his past mistakes to rest. “I was aware enough of to know that I couldn’t be a permanent part of her life thinking like that. I couldn’t let her grow dependent on me and then abandon her. I know what that feels like.� He morosely trailed off and Kiki knew why.

 

“You didn’t want your relationship with Cheyenne to be like yours is with your father.� She could remember the talk she had with Lynn and Sadie about Justin and Randy. From that day on she suspected his choice to reject his responsibilities as a father had something to do with that shaky relationship.

 

“Yeah but it still is. Abandonment is abandonment right?� He asked rhetorically. “I’m just like him. I still screwed up.� Kiki stayed silent. What was there to say, that was the exact point he was missing, until now. “Never again though.�

 

Kiki didn’t want to dampen his moment of enlightenment, but she needed confirmation that her child would be safe to count on her father being there. “So you’re saying that you’re no longer that selfish coward who’d rather party all the time and live out of a bottle than be with his daughter.� Justin looked at her bewilderedly. “Don’t look at me like that. As much as I hated it, it was hard to miss the current events of your life when it was splattered all over the place.� She used to fume at the knowledge that he preferred an empty life of debauchery over all the joys of being a parent and watching their child grow up. Was he really ready to make a change? “Just tell me straight out: are you ready to be a permanent part of Cheyenne’s life? Can you promise, swear that you will never leave her again?�

 

Staring off, Justin rehashed the moment everything changed for him. “When Lonnie told me she was sick, I’d never been more terrified in my life and it wasn’t for myself. If anything I was ready to sacrifice myself for her, I still am, I always will.� He knew now there was nothing scarier than losing his child. He could face anything else but that and he vowed to never let anything, not even himself, separate him from her again. “I’d never been more unhappy than I have been for the past two years. I’m not prepared to live like that again, without our daughter. Looking at a picture of her for the rest of my life.� He froze for a moment hoping she hadn’t picked up on that admission.

 

But Kiki already knew what picture he was referring to. “Yeah I think stealing from your own mother is a pretty good indication that something is wrong in your life.�

 

“How, how did-“

 

“Justin you took it from on top of her mantle. You honestly didn’t think she’d notice it was missing?� She chuckled at his panicked look.

 

“Shit.� Seeing Cheyenne for the first time that day at his mother’s made all logic escape his mind and he couldn’t leave without taking just a little piece of her with him.

 

“It’s okay. She wasn’t really mad that you did it, only the reason behind it, especially when you didn’t have to go to those lengths. All you had to do was pick up a phone or hell just pop up on my doorstep.� She had always kept an open-mind about Justin coming back into Cheyenne’s life. She never would have turned him away if he had had a change of heart before now.

 

“I can’t imagine how angry you were, are with me.�

 

“I definitely had my 'I hate Justin' moments especially when I was all pregnant and hormonal.� She smirked. “But honestly once Cheyenne was born I couldn’t be angry with you or regret anything that happened between us anymore. She wouldn’t exist if you didn’t or if things had been different. And she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.�

 

“I’m sorry I abandoned you. I was just so afraid that the person that I was would only end up hurting her. I was immature and stupid then and I’m so sorry. I’m not that person anymore, I won’t make the same mistakes.�

 

He looked directly at her during his heartfelt apology and Kiki could feel any residual anger towards him dissolving away. “I can see that you’re different. This had changed you and I believe you’re in it for the long haul now.� She couldn’t imagine him walking away again, not after this experience, but just in case. “I am a mother though and I have to protect my child at all cost, so I’m going to let you know right now that if you leave her again – I will hunt you down and I will beat the living shit out of you Justin.� She had a smile on her face, but her words were dead serious.

 

Accepting those terms fully, he nodded agreeably. “Deal. That’s one ass whooping I would willingly submit to.�

 

Kiki giggled and he laughed along with her. Putting her hand out to him to sealing their agreement, Justin grabbed her and instead of shaking it, he pulled her close and they shared a hug. The slate was clear between them and now, together, they could embark on parenthood and a brand new friendship.

 

Those first two weeks of Cheyenne’s hospital stay continued to be eventful with swarms of people coming in and out to visit. Friends of the family and close co-workers all stopped by to see how Cheyenne was holding up. It went without saying that they were all a bit shock to see the face that belonged to her mystery father, but mum was the word out of respect for the ordeal they were entangled in and in general, for Kiki and Cheyenne. Nevertheless, the outpouring of support and well wishes was very touching and even when those she didn't know visited, Cheyenne was always so excited to see them.

 

Of course family was the most frequent visitors, but they start increasing in numbers, particularly within the initial phase of Cheyenne’s treatment. First there was Alex and Reed in from New York.

 

Alex had been frantic when he found out Cheyenne was in the hospital and immediately dropped out of the show he was in, letting his understudy take over for the week he planned on staying in LA. Reed was quick to tag along being just as worried about both Cheyenne and Kiki. When they arrived at Cedars, Alex finally exhaled in relief to see his little pixie was doing okay and would make it through thanks to a donor match from….her father. The last time he saw Justin he didn’t even bother to say goodbye when the tour was over and when he found out about the baby, he regretted he hadn’t punched him farewell. That was water under the bridge now especially seeing that Justin had apparently changed his ways and was now ready to be a father to his child. The two made their peace and even though it was spent in a hospital room, both Alex and Reed had a great time, leaving LA with solid faith that Cheyenne would be a survivor.

 

While the couple was in town so was everyone else from the East coast in Justin and Kiki’s family. All the grand and great grandparents from Tennessee and Florida flocked into the city. For the first time Cheyenne had both her parents, and all sets of grandparents and great grandparents surrounding her, giving her love and support in her time of need.

 

In all honest, in some ways that mindset of love and togetherness was just for show for Cheyenne’s benefit. Underneath there was still tension among the group or confrontations that had to happen, waiting in the wings - Justin and his past behavior being the common denominators in both. He was expecting the reaming from his grandmother, Sadie, and took it like a man. He apologized for the poor choice he made and promised that he would redeem himself and be the grandson she could be proud of again. Then there was him and his father. The two hadn’t talked to each other since before Cheyenne was born, using Lisa and Lynn as go betweens. For the time being they were cordial to each other during the visit and wore smiling faces, but everyone could tell that there was a wall between them now. One that would require a serious one on one discussion and now was not the time.

 

With a couple resolutions and one pending under his belt, Justin had to face his final test and it was the one he was least looking forward to, a face to face meeting with the Lewis men. He had already been read the riot act by Nina, Maya, Tami, and even Marissa. Those encounters were fear-provoking enough, but in the end all fences were mended. With any luck the same would occur with the rest.

 

Judgment day started when Kiki’s grandparents arrived at the hospital and Justin was introduced to Lorraine and Wilson Lewis…..

 

 

He, Kiki, and Cheyenne were huddled up on the daybed, Cheyenne laughing hysterically at one of her favorite Saturday morning cartoons. Her parents were laughing just as hard at her complete amusement while they waited for her breakfast to be delivered.

 

There was a knock on the door and to their surprise, Frederick’s head peeked through the cracked door.

 

“Up for some company?� He beamed.

 

“Grampy!� Cheyenne happily greeted him and he winked at her, waiting to get the green light.

 

“Come on in Daddy.� Kiki ordered.

 

“Alright you asked for it.� He walked into the room with a food bag from IHOP and was followed in by the entire Lewis clan all carrying some part of the rest of breakfast. It was pretty much an everyday scene in one magnitude or another, but seeing the last two people who walked into the room was an unexpected, yet exciting addition.

 

“Granddad and Gram.�

 

“Grandee and Grammy!�

 

Kiki and Cheyenne exclaimed jointly at the sigh of their grandparents and great grandparents.

 

“Hey my baby girls!� Wilson’s bass voice boomed joyfully. Lorraine stood by just as happy to see their smiling faces especially considering the crisis they were in the middle of. It was a refreshing sight as Kiki scooped Cheyenne up and bounded over to them, being quickly engulfed in hugs and kisses.

 

Justin got up from his seat to welcome the rest of the family all the while keeping an eye on Kiki and Cheyenne’s greeting with their other relatives. It was great to see that such a strong hold of family now from his side and hers had rallied together at this precarious time. Plus he was very interested in meeting Kiki’s grandparents who she had told him all about in the past. He only hoped he wouldn’t get a sour reception from them.

 

“Look at my pretty blue belle.� Lorraine cooed her nickname for Cheyenne once she was able to get her turn cuddling her great granddaughter.

 

Eyes shifting to the familiar stranger standing in the background talking to Maya, Wilson surmised. “That must be the white boy who gave them to her.�

 

“Granddad!�

 

“Wil.�

Lorraine and Kiki admonished at the same time while everyone else either balked or snickered at his comment.

 

“What he’s white ain’t he?� He shrugged and approached Justin with his hand extended. “Nice to meet you son. I’m Wilson and this is my wife Lorraine.� He shook his hand and smiled warmly. Lorraine said hi and apologized for her husband before turning her attention back to Cheyenne who was talking her ear off.

 

Not at all offended, but amused by his comment and too relieved that he wasn’t being cussed out on sight, Justin waved it off with a chuckle. “It’s okay Ma’am. I’m Justin and it’s nice to meet you both.�

 

Wilson was the next to laugh, but his had an edge of sarcasm to it as he said. “You say that now, but we haven’t step out of the room to talk yet.� Justin’s smile flicked on his face with apprehension, knowing exactly what he wanted to discuss. Wilson saw his faltering happy appearance and didn’t bother to put him at ease, not for now at least. Let him sweat a little. “How about we go take care of that now? Come and tell me all about ya.�

 

Ordering him more than asking, Wilson patted the obviously nervous young man on the shoulder and directed him towards the door.

 

Justin looked back at Kiki with a look of panic on his face. She shrugged. She had warned him the men of her family would want to talk to him at some point. So it was no surprise when her father and Derek followed them out of the room.

 

The Lewis women left behind shared half concerned and half amused glances. This meeting was a long time coming and the thought of Justin possibly quaking in his boots was something to giggle at, but at the same time they hoped the guys weren’t too hard on him. Kiki wasn’t too worried about it; she had faith that Justin could take anything thrown at him if it was for Cheyenne.

 

Down the hall in the empty visitor’s lounge, the four men sat themselves in a corner of the room for a little bit of privacy should anyone come in.

 

“So how are you doing with all this? I can only imagine how hard this is, to watch your baby facing something like leukemia.� Wilson inquired, sympathizing with the young man.

 

“I’m okay. There are good days and bad days, but Cheyenne’s a strong little girl. I know she’ll pull through.�

 

“Yes she will. She is a very special child….One that didn’t deserve to be abandoned.� Justin tensed as Wilson got straight to the point. “Now me and my granddaughter are very close and we’ve talked about what happened between you two, particularly, you’re approach to fatherhood.� Staring Justin down, he asked for his side of the story. “How about you explain that to me.�

 

Nervously clearing his throat first, Justin told his tale from top to bottom and the three men listened without interrupting, but as soon as he was done, Frederick and Derek were on the attack.

 

“That was some punk ass bullshit you pulled. You’re weak man.� Condescendingly, Derek sneered at him with disgust.

 

Justin glared at him, but said nothing. He had no defense and apparently they couldn't or wouldn't at least understand where he was coming from.

 

“Being scared was a cop out. You had a responsibility to your child and you failed. You’re a failure. It’s simple as that.� Frederick tacked on, making Justin feel even lower and resurrecting that self loathe and anger he had recently put to rest.

 

Wilson was the only one left to comment after intently listening to Justin’s story and gaining a real understanding of his reasoning. It was far from right or excusable, but he understood and had himself experienced the fear of fatherhood. Where he had made the right choice to face that fear, Justin made the wrong one and walked away, but now he was back and that counted for something. Everyone made mistakes, it was whether or not you corrected them that made the difference. This young man was clearly making that difference and stepping up.

 

He was just about to respond as such when his son and grandson start in on Justin, berating him for a bad choice he was rectifying. They had every right to be upset by the offense to their family, but their rudeness was uncalled for and it was time to put this matter at rest not fuel the conflict. Besides neither of them should be throwing stones seeing as he knew they both were far from immune to the same fears and he wasn’t going to allow them to continue bullying him.

 

“Enough!� He bellowed and they all froze. “Frederick you really have some nerve sitting there and act like you weren’t damn near shitting your pants when you came home asking me what you should do when you got Nina pregnant for the first time.� His son’s eyes widened with embarrassment and he could see his jaw tighten in a show of submission to the truth.

 

Frederick knew his father was right, he couldn’t deny that he had been terrified about being a first time father. Maybe he was wrong to point fingers at something he was also guilty of.

 

Upon hearing his grandfather’s jab at his father’s expense, Derek snickered, but it was quickly shot down when Wilson turned on him. “And don’t you pretend like your punk ass wouldn’t be scared if Rhea popped up pregnant boy.� His withering glare had its effect and both Derek and Frederick seemed to have shrunken into their seats at the truthful admonishment. Now was the time for them all to get on an equal playing field so they could squash all this drama. “Hell I was afraid of the thought of being a father too. Most of us men are. Some of us tackle those fears and other make the mistake of running from them. Justin chose the mistake, but that was back then. This it now and he’s doing what some can’t, correcting his slip up and taking responsibility. Don’t you dare slight him for that.�  It was Wilson turn to do the sneering down on his two descendants, embarrassed by them. He had taught them both to be the bigger man and always be respectful, but they had been the exact opposite.

 

Aware of their inappropriate behavior, but men apologized to their elder for putting him to shame. They couldn’t be faulted for voicing their opinions, but they didn’t have to be so crass, especially since Justin was back in Cheyenne’s life and being a great father to her already. They just got caught up in the moment as their latent anger boiled over.

 

“I’m sorry Justin. It just…Well you’re a father now.� Frederick grinned, formally acknowledged Justin’s place in Cheyenne’s life. “You can understand that seeing your child being mistreated is the worse and you just want to lash out at the cause. The same goes for your grandchildren.� Justin nodded, agreeing with the sentiment and the position he felt like he was in as Kiki and Cheyenne’s defender. “But the way we attacked you was unfair. I sincerely apologize.�

 

“Yeah I’m sorry too dude. I don’t know why I went off like that especially since we’ve been real cool lately.� Whenever Derek stopped by to visit, they had gotten along fine, sharing small talk about sports and other things they found they had in common. But at the time that was pretty superficial considering the tension that still lay under the surface between them…until now. “I think I was just venting. You know how that can get heated.�

 

“Its cool man, really. I understand where you both were coming from and I can promise you all that I am dedicated to Cheyenne. I will never leave her again or disrespect Kiki the way I have in the past.�  He genuinely pledged.

 

Frederick, Derek and Wilson all perked at the additive concerning his treatment of Kiki. That was an issue truly reserved for her and Justin alone, but it was nice to know he felt remorse for whatever caused their relationship to fail and his abandonment of the mother of his child.

 

After sharing a look with his son and grandson, as head of the family, Wilson stuck his hand out and asked. “From one southern gentleman to two…and a half - others?� He chuckled, nodding he head to the half – Derek.

 

They briefly laughed together and Justin shook Wilson’s hand firmly. “You have my word sir.�

 

Word is bond summed up that moment and it was sealed when Frederick granted Justin with the honor of a “welcome to the family son.�

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Fifteen minutes had gone by before one by one, Wilson, Freddy, Derek and Justin came back into the room, smiling and laughing together. Kiki was relieved to see Justin was still in one piece and that he was apparently, truly getting along great with the men of her family. What the hell happened? She thought and when he sat down on the sofa between her and Maya, she pounced. “How’d it go?�

 

“It was fine. Everything’s good now.�

 

She surveyed her brother, father and grandfather who were scattered around the room, eating their breakfast that was luckily still warm, noting their improved ease in Justin’s presence. Coming back to Justin, she quirked a suspicious eye at him and leaned forward to share the same look with her sister who had been listening, waiting for the same results.

 

“Something happened.� Maya said and Kiki agreed. The way their father and brother felt about Justin, that meeting couldn’t have been that easy.

 

Without warning the two sisters squished Justin in between them and started examining him. He had just started in on his own meal when he froze, sitting stoically and completely weird-ed out as they looked over his face, neck and arms.

 

“What the hell are you two doing?� He mumbled around his bite of hash browns.

 

“Just looking for any signs of an ass whoopin’. Geez Daddy what happened? You lose your nerve?� Kiki teased and Frederick countered with an apologetic shrug while laughter floated around the room.

 

“All I’m seeing is wet spots.� Maya concluded. “You were scared as hell huh? Sweating you ass off.� She grinned triumphantly.

 

“Whatever.� He groused at the diss and she giggled while Kiki mockingly petted him. “I gotta say though – it wasn’t as bad as when you yanked me out into the hallway.� It was only a few days after Cheyenne started treatment that Maya warned him should he hurt her niece or sister again, she would make sure Cheyenne was the only child he ever created. “You Lewis ladies are scary.�

 

“Yeah and you make sure you never forget that.� Kiki smirked and wiggled her eyebrows mischievously, getting a hearty laugh out of him.

 

The rest of the visit carried on with easy conversation and amusing banter. Kiki was proud to see everyone was getting along and could happily look back on this moment as the time Justin official became a part of the whole inner circle, the family.

 

 

When it all came down to it, all the drama within this unconventional family that every one of them was a part of, was put aside and the main purpose was achieved. Cheyenne was distracted from her illness, at least for a little while, and was able to bask in blessing of having all her loved ones surrounding her.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

When family and friends of the family weren’t invading the room, Cheyenne had her own personal admirers making appearances; like Karen and the other daycare providers from Key West. They came baring a very special gift for her – a big get well card made by her daycare buddies and it was filled with well wishes from all the kids, Kiki’s students, staffers, and a bunch of the members. It was a very sweet and thoughtful deed from the place that was like a home away from home for Cheyenne and Kiki.

 

But out of all the visits and surprises Cheyenne received, the most special was when Alana and Ryan brought Robbie by to see his best buddy.

 

After making a brief introduction between Justin and the Taylor family – an occurrence that Alana and Ryan weren’t too surprised to witness since they’d been trusted with the secret of the identity of Cheyenne’s father awhile ago – the kids were cautiously brought face to face.

 

“Hi Cheyenne.� Robbie said shyly from his father’s arms. He was obviously nervous about seeing his friend in a strange place with weird machines and things around her. No matter how cool the Elmo pictures on the walls were.

 

“Hi Robbie.� She answered cheerfully, but just as apprehensive, maybe because she sensed his tense vibe.

 

“You okay?� He asked, a worried look marring his face, one that melted the hearts of the adults watching their interaction. It was so touching to see so much affection between two so young.

 

“I sick.�

 

“Oh….I sorry.�

 

“Is okay.� Cheyenne nodded congenially. “You wanna color?� She pointed to the coloring book and crayons scattered on her bed.

 

“Yeah.� Robbie anxiously leaned out of his father’s embrace indicating that he wanted to be let down. Once Kiki signaled that it was okay for him to get close, Ryan released his son and he quickly crawled over to Cheyenne who handed him a blue crayon.

 

“You color this. I color this.� She pointed to the different parts of the Dora and Diego picture and just like that they went to work, as if it was any other play date for the two toddlers.

 

Ryan moved to join the other adults in the sitting area to discretely watch them. They were all happy to see that the visit was going better than they expected, which was fear and maybe even tears. Fortunately both Cheyenne and Robbie seemed almost oblivious of the situation now.  

 

“Thank God that was easy.� Alana sighed with relief.

 

“I don’t know. I’m not that surprised. We got ourselves a couple of tough kids.� Kiki boosted.

 

“Do you think they’ll be friends forever?� Ryan mused.

 

“Absolutely.� Both Kiki and Alana replied. With such a strong friendship at a very young age there was no way those two wouldn’t be old and gray still talking their secret language and giggling at their inside jokes like they were right now. They’d make sure of it if necessary.

 

“God they really are like me and Trace.� Justin thought aloud as he watched them play. It was bringing back some of his own memories of the days when he and Trace ran around Millington getting into all kinds of trouble.

 

Aware of the analogy that Cheyenne’s grandmother had made, Alana proposed. “Except they may get married. We might be in-laws one day.�

 

Justin groaned, not wanting to think about his baby girl getting married let alone dating. Ryan laughed at his response while Kiki’s and Alana’s eyes were twinkling with fantasies of planning a future elaborate wedding together.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Although most visitors were generally for Cheyenne and her parents, there was one who was came by primarily for Kiki.

 

Shai Moore…..

 

Kiki and Shai met their freshman year at UCLA and immediately hit it off, being mutually very attracted to each other. As a result they dated, but their relationship last less than a year. Come to find out they were two different people on very different paths. Kiki was concentrating on her MBA and the rest of her preparations for running Key West while Shai was all about partying and his fraternity activities. Together they decided that they were better off just as friends, but that didn’t dampen the strong attraction that existed between them. That was probably why when they ran into each other a little over a year ago, they took a second shot at it. Of course at the time Kiki’s life had changed drastically. She had a new responsibility in her life, one that was only six months old.

 

Initially Shai was able to deal with Kiki being a mother especially considering she wasn't trying to make him play daddy. As a matter of fact, she was adamant about keeping him separate from Cheyenne while they were dating casually. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, she just wasn’t about to let her daughter become attached to him and risk having another man leave her if the relationship didn’t work. And it turned out that she was right to do so because once again she and Shai just couldn’t make it work, for the same reasons. Shai was in the process of starting up a few businesses, some clubs around LA with his brother and he was still very much into his carefree, unattached lifestyle. Kiki was the exact opposite. Her life was very grounded and she was happy with it being that way. She didn’t want to change and that included adding a relationship, especially when she was still dealing with the emotional fallout of her last one. If Kiki was honest her heart wasn’t really into it when she was dating Shai the second time and she was glad they didn’t get serious. That didn’t change the fact that he was and always would be a very good friend. So when he showed up at the hospital, she was ecstatic to see him…..

 

 

Paul had come to the hospital to watch the Lakers game that he and Justin were supposed to go to together. Understandably the date had to be postponed, so he suggested that they just watch it in the hospital room instead. Lynn decided to tag along and keep Kiki and Cheyenne company.

 

Kiki had just come out of the bathroom when there was a tap at the door.

 

“Knock, knock.� Shai rapped on the open doorway and when Kiki saw him, her face lit up.

 

“Hey!� She crossed the room to give him a big hug.

 

While Lynn and Paul were unfazed by his presence being acquainted with him and smiled openly, Justin’s reaction was very different.

 

Who the hell is this?, ran through his head as he watched Kiki and this strange guy embrace closely, almost too close. This can’t be her boyfriend or something. She would have told me if she had a boyfriend. For some reason that thought made him feel very uncomfortable and tense. His attention totally shifted from the game and all of it was placed on the interloper, determined to find out who he was.

 

“This is a surprise.� Kiki was the first to pull out of the hold and together they moved further into the room.

 

“Yeah I heard about Cheyenne. I wanted to come and see how you both were doing?� He smiled charmingly. “These are for you and these are for her.�

 

“Thank you.� She happily accepted the two boutiques of flowers, roses for her and daisies for Cheyenne. Lynn volunteered to put them on the window seal with the other arrangements and cards that family and friends had sent or dropped off. “Unfortunately she’s sleeping right now so…�

 

“Oh, That’s okay. I’m sure she needs the rest. � The little girl had to be under some serious physical stress right now, he’d meet her another day. “She’s doing better though right?�

 

“Yeah, but she’s hasn’t had the transplant yet and she’s only in the middle of her first round of chemo. Hopefully she’ll only have to go through one more and then she can receive the bone marrow donation.�

 

“Wow that’s great that you got a donor.�

 

“Yeah. Uh as a matter of fact.� She turned to the others in the room. “Everyone this is a good friend of mine Shai Moore. Shai this is Lynn and Paul, Cheyenne’s grandparents and Justin…Her donor, her father.�

 

“Hello.� Lynn and Paul spoke as did Justin, but only because he didn’t want to come off as an asshole. A show of manners or not, he was still suspicious of this stranger.

 

His hidden tension went unnoticed by everyone except for his parents. Lynn and Paul shared a quick glance as they both took heed of the unease that had come over their son since Shai walked in the room.

 

What was that all about? They silently asked each other.

 

“Hey, how you doin’?� Shai waved at the group then leaned into Kiki. “Now I know why you wouldn’t say who her father was.� When she winced, he rubbed her back soothingly, pardoning her. “It’s okay. I understand and your secret is safe with me.�

 

“Thank you.� She moved to sit on the end of Cheyenne’s bed and he followed to stand in front of her.

 

“So how are you doing?�

 

“I’m okay. I’ll be even better when I can take my baby home.�

 

“Yeah, but she’s getting what she needs here right?� He cajoled, trying to boost her morale.

 

“Right.� She exhaled her moment of gloom away and smiled. “So what have you been up to? We haven’t talked in awhile. How’s the-“

 

“Oh come on!� Justin exclaimed from behind. They peered over at him, realizing he was yelling at the turnover the Lakers just allowed and with that Shai was captivated.

 

“Oh man is this the game?�

 

Yeah they’re down by 10, but they still got a quarter left.� Paul informed him.

 

“Good. They got plenty of time to catch up. At least they better.� He growled and Paul chuckled at his intensity that almost rivaled his son’s. He glanced over at Justin and was met with a scowl, but something told him it had nothing to do with the game.

 

Basketball was the last thing on Justin’s mind right now. He was too busy wonder what the story was with this “friend� of Kiki’s as he grinned all up in her face and joked around with his stepfather. Dude wasn’t even funny. When was he leaving?

 

“You’re welcome to stay and watch.� Kiki offered and Justin inaudibly growled, hoping he would decline.

 

“Uh no, no that’s okay.� He looked down at his watch, noting the time. “I have to go actually. I just wanted to stop by and make sure you two ladies were doing okay. Give my get well wishes.� He grinned cheekily and sparking a genuine flash of anger in Justin, Kiki gave him one of her blinding smile. Oh yeah it was time for him to get to the hell gone.

 

Kiki hopped off the bed and they excused themselves for blocking the TV as they passed to the door.

 

“Thank you for visiting and I will pass the message on to Cheyenne.�

 

“You’re welcome.� He reached up to affectionately brush the side of her face. “You take care of yourself and that little one.�

 

“I will. Oh and I heard about the club. I better get an invitation to opening night.�

 

“First one on the VIP list.� He smiled.

 

“Good.� She nodded haughty and they both laugh. “I’ll see you later then.�

 

“Definitely. Uh it was nice meeting you all.� He reached a hand out in the air to say his partings and received them in return. “Bye Kik.� He leaned down and she stretched up so he could peck her on the cheek.

 

“Bye.� She said as he slid out of the room and ambled down the hall.

 

Closed the door behind her, Kiki turned back to face the room and making eye contact with Lynn, she blushed. “Do not say anything.�

 

“What? I just think it’s interesting that he came by to visit Cheyenne.� She teased and Kiki playfully rolled her eye at her as she sat next to her on the day bed.

 

“Whatever Lynn.� They both knew that the visit was really about Cheyenne as an extension of her. “Regardless on his reason, it was sweet of him and those flowers are beautiful.�

 

“They certainly are.� Lynn gazed over at the man’s excellent taste in flower arrangements. “If only huh?�

 

Kiki scrunched her face at the thought. “Not really. Shai’s just not the one for me, but I’m okay with that because where it counts, we’re too different. �

 

“I think you made the right decision honey. Some differences are too great to overcome, especially if they involve your responsible as a parent versus his need to have a very active social life.� Lynn rubbed a comforting hand against Kiki’s arm as she dispensed her motherly advice. Advice that her own son should hear, not that he hadn’t been listening to every word said by or to Kiki since Shai showed up. “Speaking of which, are you ready to say bye bye to those days?�

 

“Nope. Club Dora the Explorer here I come.� He joked, but sobered up and corrected. “After tonight of course - are you sure you’re okay with me going?� He had to make an appearance as Cameron’s date to her latest movie premiere that night and he really, really did not want to go. But the last thing they need was more rumors spreading and people snooping if he didn’t show up by her side like the dedicated boyfriend he was supposed to be.

 

“Yeah it’s fine. One of us needs a fun night out and besides it’ll keep our secret a little longer right?� Kiki smiled supportively and Justin was relieved that she understood. If Cheyenne safety didn’t hinge on him keeping up his image right now, he wouldn’t be going anywhere.

 

But alas, once the game was over, he left to go home and get ready, leaving his parents and the girls behind.

 

“He’s definitely not looking forward to their outing. He better put a convincing smile on his face or Cameron might get pissed.�

 

“I would hope she was understanding enough to know that Cheyenne's health is Justin’s main concern right now.� Paul commented.

 

“Well has she ever struck either of you as the selfish, jealous type?� Now that Paul mentioned it and Cameron had decided to stick it out with Justin, Kiki needed to know to type of person that was going to be around her daughter.

 

“We’ve only been around her once actually.�

 

Kiki was surprised she thought Justin shared everything in his life with his mother in particular.

 

Seeing the look on her face, Lynn explained. “We had dinner with them once and it was so awkward. Justin was so proud to show her off as his girlfriend, but I was less than impressed since he should have been proudly showing his child off at the time. After that dinner I basically told him I didn’t care to know who he was dating or screwing or whatever until he fixed the most important relationship in his life. With his daughter.�

 

Kiki’s eyebrows arched at that. Lynn hadn’t been pulling any punches with Justin while he was playing absentee daddy. Good!

 

“I wouldn’t worry about her darlin’. Justin’s so devoted to that little girl.� Paul glanced over at Cheyenne who was still sleeping. “She’s #1 for him now.�

 

“Yeah I know that.� At least I think I know. The truth was she wasn’t completely sure that Justin’s love for his daughter trumped his love for Cameron or any other woman he might become involved with.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was well after midnight and Kiki had just dozed off while watching TV when she saw light from the hallway creeping into room as someone snuck in. The nurses had already done there last check up for the night, so she quickly woke herself to see that the intruder was only Justin.

 

“What are you doing here?�

 

“Sorry I woke you.� Scurrying over to the daybed, he kicked his sneakers off and climbed in on the opposite end of her.

 

Kiki scooted over so they could arrange themselves head to feet and once they both were comfortable, she asked again. “What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Cameron.�

 

“Yeah for the premiere and I hung out at the after party for awhile.� He answered distractedly, too busy digging under the covers for the hard unidentified object poking him. “Ah ha. I got the remote.� He taunted and went about flipping through the channels, obviously more concerned with what was on rather than the end of his night out with his girlfriend.

 

Kiki on the other hand could care less what was on that idiot box. Cameron couldn’t have been happy about him ditching her after over a week of his absence. She probably wanted some time alone with him to reaffirm their relationship. There was no telling what was going on in her head in regards to Justin’s new priority that had him running out on her. She had to have given some indication of her feelings, so Kiki asked.

 

“And she was fine with you leaving?�

 

Distracted by the movie he found playing, Justin shrugged nonchalantly. “Yeah I guess. She didn’t say anything.� She rolled her eyes at his clueless-ness. Cameron may not have voiced it, but Kiki was sure she showed some sort of unhappiness and he totally missed it. Men.

 

“Are you sure?� He mumbled out “yes�, eyes still locked on the screen. Annoyed that he wasn’t paying attention when she was trying to have a serious conversation with him, Kiki yanked the remote out of his hand and flipped the channel to an infomercial. Justin barked his outrage, but she ignored him and pressed ahead with her questioning. “Listen to me okay? In the very least can you tell me if Cameron is really okay with all this?� She whirled her hand around in reference to the new people and relationships he had in his life.

 

Realizing how serious she was, Justin put the movie he had been enjoying on the backburner. “You want to know if Cam’s going to be okay with being around Cheyenne?� Kiki nodded and understanding her need to know that the new people coming into Cheyenne’s life would welcome her, he thought about it briefly before concluding. “I think so. She seems like she’s okay with, but if I find out she’s really not then.� He shrugged decisively. “Cheyenne comes first.� It would be disappointing if he had to end the relationship, but it would end none the less if she was putting on an act about accepting his daughter and her standing in his life.

 

“Same here.� Kiki ensured him. After Shai’s visit and knowing how nosey he could be, she was sure he had a lot of questions about the nature of their relationship. Well there was no relationship beyond friendship, so it really was none of his business and she had no plans of giving him any answers if he did inquire. But with all fairness he did deserve to know that their daughter’s best interest was always her top priority regardless of what or who she might have to sacrifice, just as it was for him.

 

They shared a smile as another agreement was made between them. So far this joint parenting deal was working out pretty damn well.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

 

It was a few days prior to Christmas when Cheyenne’s first round of treatment came to an end. Despite how unrealistic their wishes had been, after a complete blood work up and a bone marrow test – an experience that had Justin and Kiki in that week’s support group meeting for certain – it was determined that the holidays would be spent in the Elmo Room while Cheyenne underwent her second round of chemotherapy. This time they were much more prepared to handle the aftermath and as far as celebrating Christmas, well the whole family had a plan for that.

 

Decorations, including a little fake Christmas tree, were set up all around the room while Cheyenne was in the nursery with the other children for story time. When Justin brought her back, the whole family was there to surprise her with her new festive room. And from the smile on her face that lit it up brighter than the lights strung around the windows, their efforts to give her the best Christmas possible, in spite of her hospitalization, were definitely a success.

 

Cheyenne even had a nice little pile of presents from her family under her tree, waiting to be opened. Space was limited so there was a two presents per person restriction, the rest would be welcome home gifts for her when she was discharged. And that stipulation came in handy where her father was concerned.

 

A week before Christmas, Justin took a discrete trip to Toys R Us and with his mother’s help, he played Santa Claus for the first time. He was tempted to clear out the whole store, but he stuck to the rule as best he could and only brought her a handful of toys. He had the rest of his life to shower his baby girl with presents and for now he couldn’t wait till she opened these. He already knew this was going to be the best Christmas of his life.

 

Come Christmas morning, Cheyenne was all a glow with happiness and excitement as she opened all her gifts from Santa. When she was done revealing the ones from her parents, Justin and Kiki were smothered in thank you hugs and kisses. A nice surprise for the day came when Justin and Kiki exchanged gifts. It meant a lot that they both thought of each other while spreading the yuletide cheer. Not to mention the gifts that they received clearly said that the pair still cared enough to remember even the little things about one another.

 

All and all for the trio it was a very Merry Christmas and only a week later with Cheyenne barely keeping her eyes open, they watched the ball drop with their friends and family, bringing in 2006. Instead of New Years’ resolutions, the whole group sent out New Years’ wishes and prayers that even with its rocky start, the rest of the year would bring a blessed recovery, strong brand new, and improved bonds of friendship, family and love.