Her blue eyes had turned grey. 

She wasn't sure when it happened, but staring back at her was someone she didn't know.  A mere suggestion of what she used to be, it almost seemed that as the color of her eyes faded into grey, so did the rest of her.

She used to be filled with life and vibrancy.  She practically effervesced with this passion for living that transferred to everything around her and made her surroundings glow.  She made you want to smile, just because.

Now, the proverbial black cloud seemed to follow her, as if an extended shadow.  It was obvious to those that cared about her the most, and noticeable to those that had just met her.  She was fighting it, but it was a losing battle. 

Nothing seemed to truly pull her from her sorrows, and it was heartbreaking to watch such a beautiful creature fall apart.

He had been studying her from across the room for a while now.  She was oblivious to his gaze, caught up in the novel clutched in her small hands.  She sat tucked in an oversized arm chair, wrapped securely in a large sweatshirt that he knew was his.  She looked so small, as if the chair could swallow her whole. 

His eyes flitted across her face, over her hair still wet from her shower.  He noticed the slight frown that settled on her lips, and he wished in that moment he knew how to truly make her smile.

When he shifted in his seat her eyes were torn from their page and moved over in his direction.  She caught his stare and did her best to force a smile.  It was a halfhearted attempt and they both knew it.  Something had wedged itself between them, some unseen force, and there was a gap in their relationship. 

He loved her, more than anything, and he agonized over her sadness.  He didn't know how to fix her.  She had fallen for him almost instantly, and she was still captivated by this man, but she didn't know how to fix herself either.

Something had wormed its way into her heart, her soul.  Some unsettling feeling had crept into the recesses of her mind, until one day, she broke.  Years of hidden pain and strife had come to the surface and it was all she could do to stay standing.

This invisible imposter had imposed itself upon their relationship, and both of them were struggling to salvage the pieces of themselves that were left.  Neither of them knew what was wrong, so they were lost at how to fix it.

She felt alone.

She felt so utterly lost and alone that she was fighting to find a reason to keep on going.  She held onto him at first, determined to focus on the love he gave her, but she was afraid of needing him too much.  She didn't want to drain the life out of him too.

It didn't matter where she was, or who was there.  In a room full of people she felt as if she were invisible.  She felt worthless.

These inner demons, those voices in her head, they told her that she wasn't worth the attention, the love.  No matter how hard she fought to make them go away, she couldn't help but wonder about their veracity.  It didn't matter what he promised her, or declared to her.  She was still afraid that she was going to lose him too.  That one day he would wake up and realize that she really wasn't worth the fight.

The ironic part was that she was becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.  With each day that she distanced herself from him, with each mention of her worthlessness, he fell farther and farther behind.

Stirring herself from her thoughts, she pushed off the floor with her feet and stood from the chair.  She padded over in his direction and planted herself gently into his lap.

            "I love you."  She whispered before kissing him softly.  "I'm fighting this for you…for us."  She declared.  His eyes shut for a brief moment before opening to stare into hers.

            "I know."  His voice came out more unsteady than he would have hoped for.  He didn't want her to see him weaken under the pressure.  He wanted to prove to her that he was not going to give up, but his resolve was breaking with her spirit.  "I love you too."

Time stopped for a moment as the two held each other tightly. 

Tomorrow, he would tell her that he needed some time.

Tonight, she would make one last attempt at finding the girl he fell in love with.

Tomorrow, she would become her self-fulfilling prophecy.

Justin rolled over in his bed with a grunt.  Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he opened them to stare at the form that occupied the space next to him.

She was beautiful when she slept.  Her features were softened by slumber and she looked peaceful, a look that hadn't adorned her conscious face in a while.

Watching her last night, curled into his sweatshirt, he had decided that he was drowning along with her and he needed air.  He had promised her that he wouldn't leave her, but the love he had was no match for whatever demons had control over her.

He decided that he was going to give himself some space, if only to protect his own sanity and become a better friend than lover.

Letting out a sigh he turned his face away from her sleeping form and rolled out of bed.

He could wait to break the news.

~*~

Something had changed last night.  Something in his eyes and his touch had been off.

Waking from her sleep, Gia turned to find the other half of the bed empty.

She stared at the ceiling, letting the memories of the night before roll through her mind.

He had held her tighter than he had in a while, and she could feel it in his grip that he was scared of something.  When he carried her upstairs to the bed and proceeded to make love to her with more passion than she thought possible, she knew.

She knew that it was ending.  She wasn't sure how she knew, but something about his eyes and his actions made last night feel final.

The last time they would sleep in the same bed.

The last time he would hold her.

The last time he would ever make love to her.

Gia closed her eyes tightly to ward off the tears that were threatening to spill.

She couldn't blame him, really.  Although he had promised her he wasn't going to leave her, she had pushed him to this point herself.

Her depression had torn a hole in their relationship, and because she was afraid that he would walk away she had started to pull away first.  A vicious cycle.

Gathering all over her energy she pushed herself up from the bed and onto the carpet.  Grabbing a t-shirt that had been thrown across a chair, she pulled over her head and moved toward the door.

Stopping, she took a look around the room.

The bed was messy from their activities last night, and she had to smile.  It had been better sex than they had had in a long time.  It was a bitter sweet feeling.

Clothes were thrown around the room, covering random pieces of furniture and carpet space.  Neither of them were neat-freaks, and until they had to do laundry, the mess would stay.

Shaking herself from her reverie, she slid through the opening in the door and toward the kitchen.

She could hear sounds of his movement and she could smell the beginnings of breakfast.

Gia stopped at the entrance to the kitched and leaned against the wall, watching him.  He stood at the stove, bare chested, in a pair of basketball shorts.  He didn't look any different that any other morning, but the feeling of it all was off.

"Hey you." She spoke, startling his attention from the bacon he was frying.

"Hey, I didn't know you were up.  I figured you would sleep in for at least another hours."

"I woke up when you left the bed."

"Oh."

A silence filled the spacious kitchen, neither of them knowing what to say now that the small talk was finished.

Gia padded over to his lanky form and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind.  She placed a chaste kiss on his shoulder, then his neck, and let out a sigh.  It was already starting to hurt.

Justin turned in her arms and placed his lips to her forehead.  Giving her a gentle squeeze, he propelled her toward the table where breakfast had been set out.

"Sit, eat. The bacon is almost ready."

Gia eyed the spread on the table, not sure if she had an apetite but wanting to do as he said.  Anything to keep him from breaking her heart sooner than necessary.

Justin watched as she placed food on her plate.  She glanced up and gave him a smile, which he attempted to return.  He quickly turned back to the stove to finish cooking, but mostly so she couldn't see the tears he could feel starting.

He truly loved this woman.  She had been the light of his life for a while now, but he couldn't compete with her problems.  His love wasn't enough to save the both of them.

Gathering all the strength he could muster, he picked the skillet off the stove and moved toward the table.

He would sit and eat with her first, enjoy the last few moments of normalcy that had found them.

He could always tell her later.

Georgia Lynn Mason was born November 1st, 1983.  She always went by Gia because she couldn't stand people asking if she was named after the Ray Charles song.  She wasn't.  Her mother had a college roommate named Gerogia and decided that her first daughter should inherit the name.

Gia and Justin had met through a mutual friend, purely a coincidence.  Matt, the mutual friend, had invited Gia to a party that Justin just happened to be throwing.  Their first meeting happened when Gia spilled her drink all over Justin's white t-shirt.  She apologized profusely and offered to buy him a new one.  Surprisingly, he accepted the offer.

*Flashback*

"Oh Gosh, I am so sorry."  Gia attempted to wipe the brownish stain from the man's shirt while she apologized. "I feel terrible."

"It's OK.  It was an accident."  Gia looked up into the captivating blue eyes of Justin Timberlake and her embarrassment grew ten-fold.

"No, really, I'm so sorry.  Let me buy you a new one, something.  I feel so horrible...and embarrassed."

Justin chuckled before scanning the room.  It was crowded and smokey, and even though the party was at his house, he needed to get away.

"Do you really mean that?  That you'll buy me a new shirt?"  Gia looked up at him with a questioning look, but she nodded in the affirmative.  "Then let's go."

Justin grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd to what she assumed was the garage.  She had assumed correctly, and soon she was being helped into the passenger side of a pick-up truck and the two were driving through the gate to Justin's house.

"Uhm...I know we just met, but my word is good.  I will buy you a new shirt, we didn't have to leave now."  She stared at the man next to her and felt a shiver when he let out anther masculine chuckle.

"I don't care about the shirt, really, I just needed a reason to get out of there."

"But it's your house."  She wasn't stupid by any means, but she really wasn't following his logic.

"I know.  You probably think I'm nuts.  I just needed air.  The only reason I was throwing the party is because my buddy convinced me I needed to get some ass and the only way to do it would be to bring girls over and get them trashed."

Gia cleared her throat at his honesty.  This was getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

Justin glanced over at the girl he'd dragged into he passenger seat.  She looked bewildered and he held back another laugh.

"I'm sorry, you must think I'm psycho.  I promise I won't rape you or anything."

She nodded slightly and shifted in her seat. "I'm Gia."

"What?"

"My name, it's Gia."

"That's a different name, just Gia?"

She shook her head. "No, it's short for Georgia, but I can't stand it, so...just Gia."

Justin licked his lips and smiled over at his passenger. "I think Georgia is a beautiful name, it fits you."

She blushed slightly but didn't respond.  Justin pulled the truck to a stop and Gia looked up to see a clothing store.

"Still want to buy me that t-shirt? This one is getting sticky."

*end*

It's safe to say that Gia had never had another relationship start the way that She and Justin had started, but she liked that about them.  They had started off slowly, really slowly.  Soon after she had bought him the t-shirt he had flown over seas for something music related and the two didn't see each other for about two months, but he called.

He called every day and made her promise to spare time for him when he landed back in the states.  After the first couple of dates, things sped up pretty quickly and Gia found herself in love with him after only a month or so.  It scared her shitless, but Justin seemed just as taken as she was.  It had been beautiful, they had been beautiful.   

~*~

Gia settled into her favorite chair in the livingroom, the one that almost swallows her whole.  She liked feeling protected within the soft suede, it was comforting.

After breakfast, Justin ushered her out of the kitchen so he could clean up.  She agreed, but only because she wanted to dely the inevitable as long as possible too.

She could catch a glimps of him every now and then through the doorway to the kitchen, and she kept her blue eyes focused in that direction.  It was like watching a ticking timebomb but not really knowing when the final countdown would begin.

The divide in their relationship had started a few months earlier.  Gia had spent some time back home with family (a family that was by no means perfect) and being there sent her into a depression that neither She nor Justin was ready to handle.  Needless to say, it was trying for the both of them.

A noise from the doorway broke Gia from her thoughts and she looked up to see Justin watching her.

"You look lost." He stated, not moving from his position against the door frame.

"Just thinking.  Do you still have that t-shirt I bought you?  The one from the first time we met?"

If he was surprised by the question, he didn't show it.  Gia guessed it was because he had been thinking about the past as much as she had.

"Yeah.  I keep it in my closet, or in my suitcases when I travel."

She nodded, not sure of what to say next.  The tension was growing and she was starting to feel suffocated.

"I'm heading to Tennessee for a while."

There it was.  No build up, no suspense.  Just the truth.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Gia.  I just...I can't do this...I..."  He trailed off, his voice getting tight.  He was fighting tears.

"No, no...I'm sorry."

"Don't.  Just, don't.  I need time, Gia, I need to figure out what to do now.  and I really think that you need something more than me.  I can't help you, I don't even know what it is you're fighting..."

The tears should've come by now, but her face was still dry.  She wasn't sure where this psudo-strength was coming from, but she prayed that it lasted a little bit longer.

"I know. How long will you be in Tennessee for?"

"I don't know.  A month maybe.  I'll figure it out when I get there, I guess."  He avoided her gaze and she wished more than anything that he would look at her.  "I'm leaving tonight."

Gia took in a shaky breath and held it for a few seconds before letting it out slowing.  Her foot tapped nervously on the carpet with a soft pat-pat that seemed too loud in the silence.

"I want you to get better, but I don't think being with me is helping."  Justin's voice was quiet, but she heard it loud and clear.

"I...I'm not sure I can do this without you, J."  She spoke, and her words seemed to be the trigger that shot down her resolve.  The tears flowed freely now. "I...I know I've been pushing you away, I do.  I'm sorry...I just...you make me happy, Justin.  I don't know if I can make it knowing that I'm not coming home to you anymore..."

Justin pursed his lips tightly and sniffled back some tears before he crossed the room and took the breaking girl into his arms.

"G, you need help.  You need someone that's a professional that can help you figure out whatever it is you need to fix.  I can't sit back and watch you fall apart...not anymore.  I don't think I'm helping the situation, I know you're hiding it because you don't want me to see...but I know.  Gia, I know.  I know that you're not happy and I don't think anything I do or say will fix that."

She let out half a sob before closing her mouth and trying to gain some composure.  Justin held her tighter. 

"I'm so sorry, baby.  I'm so sorry that I have to do this to us."  His tears were streaming as heavily as hers were.  "I need you to get better, but I think the only way you can do that is without me."

"But I love you!" she pounded her fists on his shoulders a couple of times before giving up and collapsing into his embrace. 

Justin moved them over to the couch and sank into the cushions.

"I love you too, Georgia..." 

The couple sat there holding each other with no sense of the time.  She held on knowing that this would be the last time, and he held on hoping to stop her from completely breaking.

"I'll be out of the house as soon as I can."  She mumbled sometime later.

"Take your time.  I called my friend, Morgan, she's a real estate agent and she said she'd help you find something."

Gia nodded numbly.  She wanted to be angry that he had this all planned out, but she knew that she hadn't given him much choice.  Her depression was hurting him almost as much as it hurt her.

"You should go pack, I don't want you to miss your flight."

"I'm already packed.  I did it yesterday..."  He pulled her tighter to his lean frame before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.  "I know I'm hurting you and I wish I knew a better way to handle this..."

"It's OK, Justin.  I know why.  I don't blame you, really...I...I know I need help, I was just too scared to admit it."

He pulled her to him again, mostly so he didn't have to see the sorrow on her face.  This time he knew the reasons why she looked so sad, and it was all his fault.

There wasn’t as much of her stuff in his house as she thought there would be.  It had seemed like there was something of her in every room, but her presence was fading just as her spirit was.

Gia taped another box shut before letting out a breath and moving the hair out of her eyes.  She was crouched down, her weight resting on the balls of her feet.  With a grunt she fell back onto her butt and proceeded to sprawl out on the plush carpet of the bedroom.  She stared at the ceiling fan and got lost in the swirling blades.

It didn’t feel real.

It hadn’t become real to her yet, and even though her pick-up truck was slowing getting filled with boxes, she still couldn’t make it sink in.  She was moving out, and it was really over.

She had Justin had sat on the couch until he didn’t have any time to spare before his flight.  She had asked him if it was truly over, if this was it for them, but he couldn’t give her a straight answer.  He still loved her, he said, and that’s what was making this whole situation so difficult.  He had to leave so she could save herself, he said, he couldn’t stand to watch her break anymore.

He had said a lot last night.  He had apologized, and he had cried, and he had made wishes…but he still left.

She knew that she really couldn’t blame him.  Her depression had become too much for him to handle, and it was unfair of her to ask him to try anymore.  But it didn’t stop the pain of watching someone else she loved walk away from her.

Justin had promised that he would be there for her whatever she needed.  He told her that she could call anytime she wanted to.  He even said that his mother wanted her to come to Tennessee when she finished up with her therapy.  That made Gia cry.  It was like this beautiful man, this wonderful life, was being held in front of her face and out of her reach.  He was saying that he loved her, but he couldn’t be with her.  He was saying that he wanted to help her out, but she couldn’t lean on him anymore.

It was all giving her a headache, and to add to that all of this lifting was making her body ache.  With a push, Gia raised herself off of the floor and onto her bare feet.  She glanced around the bedroom to see if she had forgotten anything, but seeing nothing she lifted the last of the boxes and headed toward the stairs.

A few more steps and it would truly be over.

~*~

The thing Justin loved most about Georgia was her sense of humor, her ability to laugh at herself.  It was true that most of the women he dated all had a sense of humor, but Gia was different.  She was goofy and down to earth, and she had the ability to keep him laughing.  He loved spending time with her listening to her stories and watching her face crinkle with barely contained giggles. 

He had fallen in love with her laugh before he knew he had fallen in love with her.  He didn’t expect anything from her when they first met.  In fact, he was just using her for an excuse to get out of his own house without looking like a complete ass.

When they had gotten to the store to get a shirt, Justin had been planning to grab a cheap t-shirt and call it even.  Gia had another idea.  She refused to buy him a plain t-shirt and proceeded to search for the gaudiest piece of fabric she could find.  She ended up buying one of those shirts that had the figure of a bikini clad woman with no head, one that would make Justin look like he was a woman with massive breasts. 

He laughed his way to the register.  She bought it for him, but he thought that going out in public wouldn’t be a very good idea, so he grabbed himself something so he could change.  But he took that t-shirt everywhere he went.  It reminded him of her ability to laugh at most anything, especially him.

Justin shook his head and glanced at the clock on the wall.  Thinking about Gia was making his heart ache.

He missed her, but the shell of a woman that had resided in his house was not the girl that he had fallen in love with.  He knew that leaving was the right thing, even though it hurt like hell.

He wanted to be with her through it all.  He wanted to stand by her side and help her through this, but he couldn’t.  Gia needed to find her own strength and save herself, or she would never get better.  Justin knew that if he helped her with this depression she would forever be depending on him to get he through, and neither of them could live like that.

He did love her.  He had imagined that she was it for him, and part of him still believed that it was possible too.

He didn’t know if it was wrong or not, but he hoped that she could come out of this and the two of them could fall in love again. 

He didn’t know when it had happened, but he had turned into a romantic sap, and he was sure it had something to do with the girl he had left behind. 

The leather chair squeaked underneath her as she moved, and her sweaty palms kept sliding off the arm rests.  A thick silence hung over the room, a thunderstorm waiting to break over her head.

Gia shifted her eyes around the room, trying to look at anything but the woman sitting across from her.  She was never good at talking about her problems, and sitting here with this virtual stranger was making the uncomfortableness of the situation that much worse.

She hated therapy, to be honest.  It made her feel weak, like she wasn't capable of fixing her own problems.  She knew that it was a necessary step, she knew that it could turn out to be very beneficial, but she still felt as if she were giving in.

"Georgia?”

The therpist was older, late fifties if Gia were to guess.  Her hair was turning grey and there were soft lines in her face.  She seemed nice enough but that didn't ease the tension in the younger girl's stomach.

"Gia, please call me Gia.  The only people that call me Georgia are my parents and Justin."  She faltered at his name, suddenly remembering why she was sitting in this room.

“Ok, Gia, why don’t you try telling me what’s brought you here.” The woman smiled and Gia wanted to scream. 

She had already explained why she was here when she first came in.  The initial meeting with another person had determined if she should start therapy and with whom she would be working…she really didn’t want to say it all over again.  It made it too real.

“I’m depressed.”  She stated simply, the words tasting foreign on her tongue. 

She shifted, wondering why in the hell someone would put uncomfortable leather chairs in an office that was supposed to be inviting.  They weren’t even that attractive of furniture.

“What’s making you depressed?  Did something happen?”

eyed the woman before clearing her throat.“I guess you could say that I have a lot of issues with my family, things that I haven’t allowed myself to deal with until now, and now they’re coming back to bite me in the ass…”

~*~

She was exhausted.  After 60 minutes of explaining why she hated herself to a woman that she barely knew, all Gia wanted to do was crawl into a whole and sleep forever.

She sat in her truck in the parking lot of the therapist’s office.  She didn’t have too far to drive to her new apartment, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone with herself at the moment.  She had too much going through he mind and she didn’t trust her thoughts.  That, and her apartment wasn’t anything as close to the home that Justin’s place had become.

Morgan, Justin’s friend, was a great help in finding a place.  She was a lot of fun to talk to too.  She had a dry sense of humor and it helped keep Gia’s mind off of why she was looking for an apartment. 

Eventually they found a nice two bedroom place that was outside of the city so there was a little more peace.  It was expensive, but Gia had saved up a lot over the years and she had a steady job tutoring for some wealthy families in the Hills.  College does come in handy every once in a while.

It was a beautiful place to live, but it just wasn’t the same.  It seemed empty without his presence.  No discarded clothing lying around, no empty beverage cans, no random pieces of paper with song lyrics…there was nothing of Justin in this new place, and Gia really didn’t like it.

It was bad, how dependant she was, but she needed something to hold onto if she were going to survive.  His memory would have to be enough.  He had told her to call whenever she wanted to, but she knew that he was hoping she would separate herself.  She needed to do this for him just as much as she needed to do it for herself.

She decided that she was going to make a clean break.  Give up that piece of herself because it was better for the both of them.  She wasn’t going to call, write, text, e-mail…nothing, not until she was completely over him and everything else she was dealing with.

So in her estimation, she would never speak to him again.  The thought alone made her want to cry.It had been almost a month since he had dropped his big “I’m going to Tennessee” bomb on her, and it hadn’t gotten much easier.  But she managed.  She worked with the kids she taught four days a week, and she had recently picked up a job walking dogs.  A strange thing, but she liked their company.  In fact, she had gone out and picked up a black lab from the local shelter.  She named him Frankie.  It was her way of keeping Justin in her life without actually naming the dog JT, or something like that.  She liked the character he had played in Alpha Dog, and it was fitting, kind of. 

It made for an interesting conversation, to say the least.

Frankie was her new best friend.  He was only 4 months old, but the previous owner had gotten the dog for his son and it ended up the poor boy was very allergic.  Gia happened to be in the right place at the right time, and now the adorable ball of fluff was hers.

It made it easier to have someone to come home too, even if she had to clean up his accidents because he wasn’t completely house-broken yet.  The more she had to do, the less she thought about her situation.  It was probably a bad idea to name her new puppy after her ex-boyfriend’s character, but she was still working on the whole “moving on thing.”  It was going to take a while.

~*~

Justin checked his phone again, just in case.  There were no missed calls and he knew it, but he needed to make sure.

He missed her but he wasn’t about to admit it to anyone.  It was so obvious that even his mother was getting annoyed at his vehement denial.

He worried about her, but Morgan had informed him that Georgia was safe and secure in a new apartment and she had even bought herself a new puppy.

He laughed when he found out the dog’s name was Frankie.  Leave it to Georgia to name a dog after a weed smoking convict.  He thought it was cute, and he wished that he could be there with her to watch the dog grow.  She had adored his two Boxers, but she told him she was a Lab girl at heart.  He thought about buying her a puppy of her own, but then everything seemed to spin out of control and he didn’t want her to have another living thing to worry about taking care of.

Morgan had told him where she lived, he had begged.  He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted the information for, but he just needed to know he could find her if he had to.She hadn’t called at all, and the more time passed the less he hoped.  This was what he wanted, right?  This was what he had asked for, anyway.

“Baby, are you gonna come in here and eat?  I know you’re a big boy now, but even you can’t go without something in your stomach.”  His mother’s voice called him back into the present and he stood from his place on the porch steps.

“Coming, Momma.” 

He loved his mother, really.  She was always there to listen and she gave great advice, but sometimes she was too much for even him to handle.

She had understood why he was back in Tennessee, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.  Lynn was a woman that believed in keeping promises and not going back on one’s word, and in her eyes Justin was leaving a girl that needed some support. 

Lynn had loved Gia from the moment the two met.  Lynn had loved all of Justin’s girl friends, but she told him that there was just something special about Gia that made her want to adopt the girl.  Lynn explained that Gia had this vulnerability that made you want to sweep her up and protect her, but at the same time the girl would never ask for help unless she absolutely had to.  Lynn liked that. 

The older woman had been ready for Gia to become part of the family, hell, everyone in the Timberlake/Bomar clan had accepted that Gia was just another one of them.  Lynn was really upset to learn that things were over, and she was worried about the young girl being in LA all alone.  But she understood why her Justin made the decision he did.

Justin found himself sitting at the counter with a sandwich and a bowl of soup waiting for him

I feel like I should be sick or something.  You always used to make this for me when I was little.”

Lynn smiled, “Well, you seemed so down, it just seemed like the right thing to make.”          

 “I know, I’m sorry.  I thought coming here would make this whole thing easier, you know?  I figured I could escape and forget about life for a while, but it seems to haunt me more down here.”  Justin took a bite of the grilled cheese and almost groaned at the taste.  “Mom, this is amazing.”

“Thank you, Darlin’.  Have you thought about going back to LA and getting some work done or something?  I’m sure there’s lots of things you could do to keep yourself busy.”  She started to clean up the dishes that were in the sink and Justin almost laughed.  The woman always had to be doing something…he got is ADD from her.

“I would, but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to control myself and I’ll end up tracking her down and making a bigger mess of things.”  He finished off the sandwich and started on the soup.  He hadn’t realized he was this hungry until he’d sat down and started eating.  There was really nothing like home cooking.

“You’re going to run into her eventually.”

“I know, I’m just trying to wait as a long as possible.  I want her to be better before I show up in her life again.  She needs that from me.”  With a loud slurp he finished off the soup and received a dirty look from his mother.

“Who’s son are you? I thought I taught you better manners than that!”  and just like that the serious moment was gone and they were both pretending that everything was OK.

“Gia?”

“I hate myself.”

“Excuse me?”

Gia focused on the older woman in the chair across from her before licking her lips and speaking, “I hate myself.”

“Could you explain please?”

Taking a deep breath, the young girl forced back tears and held on to what little composure she had before starting to explain.

“I feel worthless, I feel completely unimportant.  I hate who I am.  I look in the mirror and I can’t stand this person looking back at me, and I honestly feel that if I didn’t exist anymore it wouldn’t matter.  When I was 12 my dad left my mother.  He walked out of my life and wasn’t around for a long time.  My mother spiraled into this deep depression and I found myself struggling to get it all to make sense.  I was 12.  My oldest sister had left when I was 9 because she and my mom didn’t get along at all, so she wasn’t around much.  That same summer my dad left was also the summer my middle sister, Megan, left for college.  Here I was, 12 years old, and I felt completely abandoned.”

She stopped to take a breath and wipe her eyes.  It felt good to get it out, but it hurt like hell to hear it said out loud.

“I learned to raise myself.  My mother was never there for me, she was too busy licking her own wounds.  I couldn’t feel bad for her though, because it was her fault my dad left.  She’d cheated on him more than once, and he tried to make it all work but it got to be too much.  So he left.  He tried to be a part of my life but it was hard, and I didn’t know how to handle the situation either.”

The memories were painful, real, and she could see it play out in front of her like it were happening right then.

“About three years after my dad left my mom started dating.  She lied about it, snuck around, and pretended nothing was going on.  But it was obvious.  The man she was dating was a softball coach so he was always going to tournaments and whatever, and she would go too.  I was 16 years old and left completely alone for weeks at a time.  My sister Megan tried to tell my mom I needed here there and her response was ‘just because I’m the parent that lives with her, doesn’t mean I need to take care of her. I need a life too.’  That was her answer, and I was devastated.  My own mother didn’t want to take care of me.”

Gia hiccupped and the therapist offered her a glass of water.  She sipped it slowly and gazed at the floor.  It was cathartic, this feeling, but she almost didn’t want to continue.  She wanted to keep it all buried and pretend it wasn’t there.  But she’d been doing that for the past 10 years, and it was time she learned to deal with these emotions so she could get over them.

“The new guy my mom was dating used to be my sister’s softball coach, it made me think that something had been going on for a long time, and it wouldn’t have surprised me.  He moved in when I was in high school, and then they got engaged, and then they got married.  She left me a note on my pillow telling me that they were married.  I wasn’t even invited to my mother’s wedding.  I confronted her about it and she blamed everyone but herself.  She blamed me, my dad…anything but take responsibility for herself.  That woman makes me feel worthless.  I mean, if my own mother can’t love me, who else can? 

            My father was dating someone too, and she has two kids.  He spends more time and money on them that he does me.  He tells me all the time how he wishes it were different, but he never tries to change.  I feel replaced, like I wasn’t good enough for my parents so they needed to find new families.”

She sobbed before clenching her jaw shut and trying to hold back the tears.  Gia had tried so hard to forget all of these things, to pretend that they hadn’t happened.  Talking about this was bringing back memories that she’d forgotten, and the pain was getting worse.

“I got to a point where I hated everyone in my family; hated them for abandoning me.  I wanted to scream at them ‘I’m still here!’ and make them realize that I needed a Mom and a Dad too, that I still needed them.  I tried too, but they never wanted to listen.  No one wanted to admit that they’d hurt me.  No one wanted to admit that they were being selfish and forgetting that they had a child to take care of.  I hated them, and I hated myself for thinking that.  They made me feel so horrible…they still do.”

For the first time through the session, the therapist spoke, her voice soft.  “It’s not wrong of you to feel angry at them, Gia.  They hurt you, and they weren’t parents to you.  You should feel upset.”

Gia nodded and sniffled.  “Can I be done for today? I…I need to get some air.”

The therapist smiled and nodded. “Sure, give me a call if you need anything, and I’ll see you next week.”

Gia didn’t say anything as she stood from the awful leather chair and exited through the door.  She felt drained.  She wanted to go back and crawl into bed with Frankie and sleep the afternoon away.  She knew that this was going to be hard, but she didn’t think that it would bring back so much pain.

For years she had held everything inside.  She’s gotten really involved in sports and theatre at school, anything to keep her busy.  She made it so that she was busy with something until late when she could come home and go straight to bed without having to spend time with her  mother or her mother’s husband.  Watching the woman that had given birth to her spend all her time with someone else and act as if she didn’t have a daughter was heartbreaking and Gia was already too broken.

She left her home as soon as she could.  She flew to the opposite side of the country and ended up at school in LA where she got her masters in Education.  She separated herself from her family as much as she could, wiped the slate clean, and started all over.

When she met Justin she’d been in LA for 5 years, just finished up her masters work.  He was the perfect diversion.  She started work and fell into a fairy tale life with a man she adored. 

At first he’d asked about her family a lot, wondering where she came from and what her family was like.  Gia did her best to answer with enough to assuage him but it was tough.  One upside was that she was still fairly close with her sister Megan, and they talked every week.  Gia told Justin she was calling home, which wasn’t much of a lie.  She also told him that it was too expensive to fly home a lot, or for them to fly to her.  He offered to help and she declined, and that was that.

Until a couple moths ago, when she had to fly home because her sister had lost her baby.  If it wasn’t enough to have to deal with the loss, he mother had made it a point to blame Gia for not being around.  It was obviously her fault for not being there to help her sister.  After that, everything came flooding back and she was unable to stop the depression from taking over.  Justin had figured it was about the baby for a while, but when Gia didn’t get any better, he knew it was bigger then the two of them.

Gia ran up the steps to her apartment building and rushed to unlock the door.  Frankie could be heard barking from his crate in the livingroom.

“Hey baby, Momma’s home.”  Gia opened the crate and a black ball of fur came darting out at her.  He was getting bigger by the week and was almost too heavy for her to pick up now.  “You need to go out, big buy?  Come on, let’s go pee.”

She headed out to the small lawn area that sat behind her building.  It wasn’t the best place, but it was good enough for Frankie.  If she wanted to get him exercise she took him to the park down the street.  It worked out well, and she was finally starting to find a routine that helped her keep her mind off of Justin.

The more time that passed, the more she felt capable of standing on her own.  She’d wanted to call Justin and let him know how well she was doing, how much she had progressed in the past two months, but she couldn’t.

She wasn’t sure what she was more afraid of, him caring or not caring.  If he cared it would make moving on from him harder.  It would make her not want to let him go.  If he didn’t care it would break her heart even more and she knew that she couldn’t handle that.

No, the best thing was to forget about him and move on with her life on her own.  Too bad the best thing didn’t always feel the greatest.

­Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

Justin stepped off the plane and squinted from the bright LA haze.  He shrugged off the zip up hoodie he was wearing and stuffed it into the backpack in his hands.  It had been raining when he flew out of Tennessee but LA was hot and Justin wanted to turn around and get right back on the plane.

His mother had convinced him that he needed to get back to work, or at the very least out of her hair.  She said she loved him, but she couldn’t stand any more of his moping around the house.  So, he packed up again and headed back West.  He had meetings set up with some producers to go over ideas he’d been working on, and there was also a meeting to look over a script.  He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but his mom was right, he needed to be busy.

Being back in LA made him think of Georgia.  Usually, she would be waiting for him at the airport, some crazy disguise covering her features.  She liked to think it would throw off the media, and sometimes it did.  He used to joke that she was making him look like a play boy, all these different women bringing him home. 

But today, there was a car waiting for him with a body guard and a driver.  No Georgia.  He was starting to doubt if there ever would be a Georgia again.

It had been three months since they’d last spoken.  Morgan had updated him with a “she’s doing as well as can be expected” and that was just about all he knew.  Morgan had added a “she misses you, but she won’t admit it,” but wouldn’t elaborate any more than that.  He supposed he should be happy that she was doing better, but part of him wanted her to be doing better with him.

He missed her.  He missed he laugh, her stupid jokes, her ability to burp even louder than he did.  He missed everything, even the annoying habits that he thought he would never miss; like her habit of not flushing the toilet if she only peed.  She claimed that it saved water to not flush as often, he just thought it was gross.  Gia was always trying to get him to do things to conserve energy, and while he was all for it, flushing was just a necessary thing in his life.

With a large sigh he stepped out of the car that had stopped in front of his house and waved to the driver as a thanks before sending his body guard off.  He wanted to be alone.

Stepping into the house, Justin’s eyes scanned over the foyer and toward the living room.  It didn’t feel right.  There was no glaring difference; the furniture was in the same place, it was clean and tidy too.  But Gia wasn’t there.  There was no trace of the girl anywhere to be seen, and it felt to Justin that there was a large hole in his life now.

Dropping his chin to his chest and focusing on the floor, the young man made his way through the house as quickly as possible.  He didn’t want to look into any more rooms and see the absence she left.  He wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the rest of the afternoon away, which is exactly what he planned to do.

After his nap, Justin awoke to a dark house.  He managed to make it down the back stairs and into the kitchen without turning any lights on.  He made himself a bowl of cereal and headed back up the stairs.  In the dark, the house didn’t feel so empty.  He could just pretend that she wasn’t home for the night. 

The next day he had meeting planned and appointments scheduled that would start off a very hectic week, but he knew the distraction would be good. 

Maybe he could make it through the week without calling her, or seeing her…maybe.

~*~ 

Stepping into her apartment, Gia let out a heavy sigh.  She wasn’t sure if it was a sight of stress or relief, but it helped calm her just a little. 

For the past hour she had sat and talked with her therapist, figuring out ways to better her opinion of herself.  Over the past three months she had progressed to a point where she felt OK.  Not incredible, but certainly not horrible.  She liked being OK, it felt good. 

She had told Emma, the therapist, that she was ready to fight this.  She was prepared to do everything she could so that she could look back and know how far she’d come.  Emma had opened Gia’s eyes to the possibility of loving herself, and it felt good.  It felt wonderful, actually, to be able to look at her reflection and see the girl she used to be slowly returning.

Gia had talked with her sister, Megan, about everything that was going on in her head (another suggestion from Emma) and Megan had assured her little sister that the baby’s death was not her fault.  She had also pointed out that their mother was selfish and wrong in her treatment of Georgia.  It felt good to know that she had someone else on her side, even if it was from across the country.

Throwing her purse on the bed and kicking off her sandals, Gia flopped down and turned on her phone.  She watched as the screen came to life, and a few seconds later the device beeped informing her that she had a message.  She quickly pressed the appropriate buttons and sat back to listen, but she wasn’t prepared for what she heard.

“Georgia, it’s your mother.  I talked with your sister today and she mentioned to me that you were troubled by what I said the last time you were out here.  She also mentioned the counseling you’ve been doing.  Well, I just wanted to inform you that I don’t appreciate a little whore like you talking behind my back and the only reason my words bother you is because you know they’re true.  I’m through with you, Georgia.  As far as I’m concerned you’re dead to me.  You are no longer welcome in this house and you are no longer a part of my life.  Don’t contact me, ever.  If you do, I’ll cut off any ties you have to anyone else in this family too, and don’t think I can’t.  Goodbye.”

The phone beeped and an automated voice gave her options but Gia didn’t hear any of it.  She tried to stand but ended up falling to the floor, and for the first time she noticed that she wasn’t really breathing.

She was having a panic attack.  He breathing was erratic, he pulse was racing, and the walls were closing in on her.

Gia scrambled to find her phone, something, to help her stop this from happening.  Without thinking she opened her phone and pressed the first speed dial.

“Hello?” His voice came over the phone and Gia started to cry harder, desperate for help. “Georgia? You there? I know it’s you Gia…say something…”

She did her best to catch her breath enough to speak, but it was difficult.  “I…”

“Baby, calm down.  You need to calm down for me, ok?  Just breath slowly, in and out.”  His tone was soothing to her frazzled nerves, but she was still having a hard time.

“I can’t…breath…Justin…”

“Are you home? At your apartment?”

“Yes.”  She managed an answer, tears streaming down her face.

“I’m on my way over.  I’ll be there in 10 minutes, but I want you to stay on the line.  Did you take your inhaler?”

“No…No…”  She was starting to panic even more, thinking that it was getting more difficult to breathe.  Everything seemed to spiral out of her control and she couldn’t seem to get it back together.  She sat on the floor in her bedroom, her back pressed against the side of the bed.  She could hear Justin breathing on the other end of the phone and she gripped the device tighter to her ear.

“I’m almost there, baby.  Just breath with me, ok?  In and out, slowly.”

Justin was trying not to panic himself, but it was getting harder the longer he could hear her gasping on the other end.  He was scared shitless.

He knew Gia had asthma, and he’d witnessed a mild attack once, but he’d never experienced her having a panic attack.  He didn’t know that she had panic attacks.  He could tell that she was working her way towards an asthma attack and he was scared for her.

He sped into the lot of her apartment and flew from his car, barely remembering to shut the door.  He took the stairs two at a time but it still didn’t seem fast enough.  Her door came into view and he threw it open, only stopping for a second to wonder why it was not locked.

“Gia?”  He called through the apartment, his phone now shoved in his pocket.  Justin scanned the living room on his right before running down the short hallway to his left.  He passed a bathroom and a small den before finding her bedroom.  He spotted her on the floor seconds before falling to his knees and gathering her up in his arms.

“Where is your inhaler, Gia?  In your purse?”  She managed to point to the night stand and Justin rushed to grab the small object.  He handed it to Gia and watched as she struggled to take it.

“I…I’m…”  She wanted to apologize for making him come over there, but she couldn’t catch her breath.  The harder she tried the harder it was to force air into her straining lungs.

“Shh, don’t talk.  Look at me, Georgia.  Look at me,” He waited until her watery eyes locked on his, “Breathe, in…out…in…out…”  Tears were forming in his own eyes but he knew that she needed him to stay calm or she would freak out even more.

Slowly, after it seemed like hours had passed, she started to gain some control of her breathing and she had calmed enough to stop crying.

“Are you OK?  Jesus, you scared the shit out of me, baby.”  Justin pulled her into his side and kissed the top of her head.

“I scared myself even more.”  She rasped out, her throat raw from the struggle.  “I’m sorry.”

“No…no, please don’t apologize.  Not for this.”  He looked down at her and brushed a tear from her cheek.  “Has this happened before?”

She shook her head slowly.  “No.  I just got back from my therapy appointment, and…I don’t know…my mom called and I listened to her message and suddenly everything just got hazy and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath.  I didn’t know who to call…I didn’t even know you were in LA.”

“I got back last week.  I’ve been in the studio working on some things.  I’m glad you called me, though.  You sure you’re going to be OK?”  He watched as she nodded her head, her eyes focused on the carpet.  “Liar.”

Georgia lifted her head at the accusation and turned her eyes in his direction.  She had so much she wanted to say to this man.  The thoughts were speeding through he mind and she wasn’t sure where to start.  She opened her mouth to start telling him how well she’s managed on her own, to tell him how much better she was feeling, to tell him anything but how horrible it was being without him.  Apparently, he mouth had other ideas.

“I miss you.”

Justin’s eyes widened a bit but he never broke contact.  He licked his lips and shifted close to her before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her temple.

“Baby girl, I’ve missed you too.”

There was so much more that needed to be said, but for the moment, those words were enough for the both of them.

“Justin is back.”

“Really?”  Emma shifted in her chair and waited for Gia to start speaking. 

“I had a panic attack last week, after our session, and I didn’t know who to call.  I don’t even remember dialing his number, but he talked me through it as he came over.  I knew I missed him, I just didn’t realize how much.”

“What caused the panic attack?”

“My mom called.  I guess my sister talked to her on my behalf, and now I’ve officially been disowned, at least in my mother’s eyes.  She told me to never contact her again.”

“How does that make you feel? Hearing those words?”

“Angry, hurt, upset, torn…numb.  It didn’t really surprise me, what she said, I guess I was most upset by her threat to keep me from talking to anyone else in my family.  I hate her, and then I hate myself for hating her.”  Gia’s tone was quiet, sad, and it seemed that some of the progress she had been making was ruined by her mother’s declaration.

“Gia, you have every right to hate your mother.  She hasn’t been a mother to you for years.  I think you should focus on the people in your life that care about you, blood relatives or otherwise.  Family doesn’t always have to be related.”

Gia sat and contemplated that statement for a while, and it wasn’t long before her thoughts were shifting toward Justin and what his being back meant for her life. 

“I’m worried about Justin being back,” she finally voiced.

“Why is that?”

“A few reasons, I guess.  For one, I was too dependent on him before and since he left I’d been doing well on my own.  It’s taken me a while but I finally feel able to stand on my own two feet.  I’m afraid that I’ll resort back to how it used to be if he stays this time.”

“And the other reason?”

“I’m scared shitless that he’s going to leave me again.”

“Well, can I tell you what I think?”  Emma watched as Gia nodded before continuing, “I think that you’ve come a very long way from when we first met.  I see so much progress and strength in you, Gia.  I think that you know where your weaknesses are and I think you know now, how to avoid them.  If you’re willing to make Justin a part of your life again, you need to let him know that there should be boundaries.  I also think that you’re at the point where you can start loving yourself which means it’ll be easier for you to love someone else.”

Gia sat back and looked at her therapist and pondered what had just been said.

She did feel stronger, and she did know what her weaknesses were, she just wasn’t sure if being with Justin again was a good idea. 

She loved him, and seeing him again after three months only solidified that fact in her mind.  But she had started to make a life without him, one that was working well.  Letting Justin back in would mean changing things and making sacrifices, and Gia was worried that things would end up like before.

“Gia?”  Emma’s voice brought her out of her reverie, “Our time is up for today.”  The older woman smiled and Gia stood from her chair.

“Thank you, Emma, I’ll see you next week.”

Walking from the building, Gia slipped on her sunglasses and headed toward her pick-up truck.  The session had sparked a lot of questions, mostly centered around one man in particular, and Gia knew that she wouldn’t be able to relax until things had been sorted out.  Picking up her phone she pressed the speed dial that would connect her to Justin.

~*~

It had been a week since he had seen her or talked to her.  After her panic attack, Justin had sat with her and held her until she fell asleep.  He tucked her in and left her to rest, and that was the last he had spoken to her.

He was a little worried, but more anxious than anything.  Hearing her confess that she missed him and feeling his emotions bubble inside of him made Justin painfully aware that there was a lot to work out.  He wanted to talk to her, to see her again, but he knew that she needed to come to him first.

The sounds of Ray Charles’ voice came singing out of his cell phone and he smirked.  Georgia.  She hated that he programmed his phone to sing the song Georgia every time she called, but he liked it, so it stayed.

“Hello?”

“Hey Jut, are you busy?”  He smiled at the nickname, it felt good to hear her voice again.

“Uhm…I’m at the studio right now, but I can leave whenever.  Why? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to get some take out or something…I want to talk with you.”  The words were heavy and Justin almost cringed.  He knew they needed to talk about things, he was just hoping that they could pretend for a little while longer.

“Sure.  Where are you now?”

“I’m just leaving my therapist’s office.  I can grab some Chinese and meet you at your place.”

“Mmm…sounds good to me.  If I’m not there before you, the key is-“

“Up the gnome’s nose, I know.  You know, Jut, if someone really wanted to get into your place I’m sure they could find the key, your hiding place isn’t very good.”

“Hey!  It’s very good.  I mean, most people would think to look under the door mat or in the porch light…not everyone thinks to look up the yard gnome’s nose.”  Her laughter could be heard over the line and he couldn’t help but smile.

“I guess you’re right.  Is the code still the same?”

“It is.  I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Bye.”  She hung up the phone and let out a sigh.  Things felt so easy, so normal between them.  It was almost like nothing had changed, except a lot had changed.  It was good to know that he hadn’t shut her out by changing the codes or the locks or anything.  Although, he was very proud of his key hiding place, so Gia suspected that that wasn’t going to change any time soon.

Turning the key in the ignition she started her truck and pulled out of the parking lot.  Her first priority was getting food and actually getting to Justin’s.  After that she could start worrying about what to say.

~*~

The only sound that could be heard was the clinking of forks on plates and the sound of Justin chewing.  Gia stared as the man across from her practically inhaled the food in front of him and she had to focus really hard not to gag.

“Hungry?”

Justin’s head shot up from its bent position and he stopped, fork mid-air.  A sheepish grin settled on his face and he set the plate on the table before swallowing the food in his mouth.

“Sorry, I didn’t get lunch today; I guess I was really hungry.”

Gia chuckled before sitting back further in her favorite comfy chair.  Justin noted that, while it still dwarfed her small frame, the chair didn’t seem to swallow her whole this time.  There was definitely something different about Georgia Mason, and he liked it.

“You look good, Georgia.”  She blushed a little and avoided his gaze.  Her eyes got a far off look as she traveled to some other place.

“Things are going well for me, Jut.  I’m finally finding some peace with myself and my family.  I never really told you about what happened with my mom.  I guess I was ashamed because I know how close you are with your mother, I didn’t want you to think less of me because I hated mine.”

Justin sat back on the couch and listened intently as the girl across from his spilled secrets that she had been holding for a very long time.

During the course of their relationship Gia had never really explained what had happened with her family.  Justin knew a little bit, but mostly that she and her mother hadn’t gotten along well.  He didn’t push it, and at the time it didn’t really seem like an issue. 

But now, after hearing the stories and watching the tears as she relived the pain again, Justin wished he had pushed just a little bit more. 

“The call I got the other day, the one that caused the panic attack, it was my Mom informing me that I was no longer her daughter.  I guess it’s easier for her to make me the scapegoat for all of her problems.”

Justin moved from his spot on the couch and lifted Gia from her place in the chair before sitting down in her spot and settling her on his lap.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me these things?  I would’ve tried to help.”

She looked at him with wet eyes before answering, “I didn’t want to think about it.  Things with us were so great, perfect almost; I didn’t want to ruin it by thinking about her and what she’s done.  When we were together I could forget that I had family that didn’t love me…and I don’t think there was much you could’ve done to help.  This was something I needed to face on my own.”

“And now?”  Justin’s eyes were pleading with her and she managed a small smile.

“Now, I’ve faced it.  It’s been a rough three months, but you were right.  I needed to do this.  I’m not healed yet, Jut.  I still have a ways to go, especially with my mom still pulling things like this.  I know that I’ve missed you and that being with you again feels right, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

Justin cleared his throat before licking his lips and speaking.  “What do we need to do?  How do we make this work?”

“I need to keep my space.  I mean, I need to still live my own life, separate from yours, at least for a little while.  I don’t want things to turn out like before.  I don’t want to start depending on you too much, again.”

It seemed like she had a lot more to say, but Justin couldn’t take his eyes off of her lips and he couldn’t stop thinking about how good she smelled.  Before he could stop himself, he had taken her lips with his own.

The kiss was slow, tentative.  It was as if they were feeling each other out, trying to guess what the other was thinking.  It was practically over before it started, and Justin pulled back to look into the blue eyes of the girl on his lap.

“Was that a bad thing to do?”  He worried that he had ruined things before they even started, but was encouraged when she blushed a little and shook her head.

“No, it was a good thing…”  She leaned in to kiss him a little more thoroughly this time before pulling away and snuggling into his chest.  “We have a lot to figure out still.”

“I know, Georgia, I know.”  He rested his chin on the top of her head and let out a sigh.  Even though things weren’t even close to being fixed, he knew that they would somehow figure out a way to make it all work.  It would probably bite them both in the ass, but right now all he wanted to do was hold her.

It had been a week since they’re discussion and things had been going relatively well, slowly, but well. 

Gia had kept her normal routine.  She walked the dogs every morning; she taught her kids; she even managed to watch her favorite soap every afternoon.  The only thing that was different about her routine was the occasional addition of Justin.

They had kept things casual, trying not to force things or rush them too much.  But neither of then could deny that being together felt good.  That it felt right.

He helped her walk the dogs one morning, but after being tangled in a leash or two and almost ending up in a sidewalk trash can, he decided to let her handle the dog walking.  Gia couldn’t decide if it was because he was afraid of getting hurt (as he claimed), or if he was just tired of listening to her re-tell the story and giggle.  She had never seen him blush so much before.

Justin had taken an instant liking to Frankie and had even staked a small claim on the dog, stating that he was the canine’s “namesake.”  Gia wasn’t going to argue with him, and she loved to watch him and the now large Labrador romp around in the grass.  He looked like a giant kid rolling around with Frankie, but seeing him smile and laugh made her surer that what they were doing was right.

She still had her reservations, as did he, but they were working through them.  Gia had made it a point to be as open and honest with Justin as possible.  She wanted him to know what was going on in her head so he felt more capable and less lost.  It was also a suggestion given to her by Emma to keep the lines of communication open and flowing.  She said that it would help, and so far she had been right.

Justin had been trying to understand her pain as much as possible and give her space when she needed it.  He tried not to coax her to talk to him, instead letting her take her time and open up when she was ready.  It was working and he liked feeling that she wanted to be honest about her problems instead of being forced to talk. 

Today was her counseling session and he planned on meeting her afterward to take her out and help her relax.  She hadn’t had any serious panic attacks since the last, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

Checking his watch, Justin jumped into his car and headed toward Gia’s apartment.  He knew she would be getting out in a little bit and he wanted to take her and Frankie to the park for a picnic of sorts.  It was a little cliché and a lot cheesy, but he figured they could use a little of both.

It didn’t take him long to reach his destination.  Gia’s apartment complex wasn’t very far from him home and Justin had a strong suspicion that he had Morgan to thank for that.  It was nice being close to Gia because he knew that it would be a while before they were ready to think about living together again.  They had exchanged keys, but it was mostly because Gia needed someone to let Frankie out and Justin thought she should have access to his house too.

Justin unlocked the apartment door to be greeted by a large black blur.  He laughed as Frankie jumped up and placed his paws on Justin’s chest and proceeded to lick the man’s face.

“All right, Buddy.  Down.”  The lab dropped to the floor and looked up at Justin with a smile, his tale wagging so hard it made his midsection bend as well.  “You need to go out?”

A short bark signaled a ‘yes’ and Justin took him to the back sliding door.  He watched as Frankie ran outside before he turned and made his way into the kitchen.  Most of the food for the picnic was already in his car, but he needed a few things from here.  He grabbed the fixings for some sweet tea and some ketchup and mustard.  After getting everything together and finishing up the tea, Justin put everything in a bag and headed back toward the waiting Frankie.

“You wanna go to the park, Frankie? Yeah?”  The excited dog barked and spun in place, causing laughter to erupt from Justin.  “All right, let’s grab your leash.”

Justin got the dog’s harness and leash and then thought to grab some food too so that Frankie could share in the picnic with the two adults.  When everything was packed and the dog was securely in his harness, Justin headed back out to his car.  Just as he was getting Frankie settled in the back his phone rang.

“Hey you, are you all done?”

“Hey…yeah, I just got out.  Where are you?”  Her voice sounded strained, sad, and Justin hoped that his plan would cheer her up.

“Uhm…that’s top secret, but I will be at the office shortly to pick you up.” He grinned into the receiver, and as an after thought added, “Are you in comfortable clothing?”

There was a pause on Gia’s end before she answered with a confused tone.  “Yes…what are you up to, Jut?”

“I told you, Peaches, it’s top secret.  Sit tight, I’ll be there in seven minutes.”  The line went dead and Gia stared at her phone as she closed it.

“That boy needs professional help more than I do.”  She attempted to laugh at her own joke but was still feeling heavy from her session.

She didn’t have time to dwell on it all though, because as he said, Justin was pulling into the drive less than ten minutes later.  Gia felt a smile stretch across her face as she watched Justin pull up next to her and she noticed the excited black lab in the back seat.  When the car stopped she jumped into the passenger seat and immediately turned to greet her four-legged friend.

“Hey Frankie, how’s my boy?”  She scratched behind his ears and laughed when his tongue licked her face.

“Oh, I see how it is.  The dog gets more love than I do.  OK.”  Justin pouted as he watched Gia shower her affections on Frankie before turning to face him with a slight grin.  She reached out and touched Justin’s cheek before scratching his head behind his ears and laughing when he pulled away.

“What?  Frankie liked it, I thought you wanted love?”  She smirked and Justin mumbled something incoherent under his breath.  He was about to put the car in gear but Gia reached out her hand to stop him. “Wait.”

Justin felt himself being pulled toward the consol in between them and soon his lips were gently connecting with Gia’s.  “Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey.”  She pecked him lightly one more time before letting go and sitting back in her seat.  “So, where are we going?”

“Can’t tell you.  You’ll just have to wait and see.”  He grinned childishly before putting the car in gear and driving toward the park.

It didn’t take long for Gia to figure out where they were going, but she kept quiet and enjoyed the lightness that Justin made her feel.  When they reached the park she was surprised to see Justin pull a basket out of the back seat.  She wasn’t expecting all of this.

Justin handed Gia a blanket and Frankie’s leash and the couple made their way to a quieter section of the park.  It was a little more secluded here, and it made both feel a little but safer from prying eyes.

They set out the blanket and sat down.  Justin opened the basket and took out what was inside, throwing a treat to Frankie before turning to look at Gia.

“Wow.  You did all this?”  Gia’s eyes were wide with surprise as she looked at the containers of food spread out before her.

“Well, I made most of it.  I did have some help from the deli for the salads and stuff.  But I did make the tea.”  He beamed proudly and Gia offered him a small kiss.

“Thank you.”  She stated softly.  Justin leaned over and took her chin in his hand.  He kissed her softly before sitting back a little and looking into her eyes.

“I just wanted to do something to help you release some of the stress from today.  I know this place is one of your favorites, so I figured I would take you and Frankie out.”  Gia smiled at him and he grinned back.  “Let’s eat!”

It took a few minutes to dish things out and get settled, but soon they were both sitting back and munching on sandwiches and potato salads.  Even Frankie had a dish of dog food in front of him.

They ate in relative silence, mostly focusing on the food in front of them.  Occasionally one of them would comment on something, but the atmosphere between then stayed light and comfortable.  When she had finished eating, Gia set her plate down and laid back to stare at the clouds above her.

“Justin…”

He didn’t respond right away and Gia started to sit up to see if he was paying attention,  but before she could move all the way she felt an arm slip around her from behind.  Justin scooted himself behind her and pushed her into a sitting position so she was placed between his legs.  He wrapped his arms around her torso and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“What’s up, Peaches?”  She giggled a little when his breath hit her neck, but she didn’t move from her spot.

“I hate to ruin this perfect afternoon, but I have some things I want to talk about with you.”  She shifted a little so she could see his face and Justin nodded to signal she should continue.  “I need to go home.”

The words sat like a weight on the moment and Justin licked his lips before speaking.

“Home, home?  East coast home?”  Gia nodded.  “Why?”

“I’ve been talking it over with Emma for the past couple of weeks.  I just feel like I need some closure, or something.  At the very least I need to see those people in my family that haven’t abandoned me.”  She took in a breath and let it out slowly before continuing.  “I want you to come with me.”

Justin sat back a little so he could clearly see her face and eyes.  He was surprised at the statement but in a pleasant way.

“You really want me to go with you?”

“Yes.  I mean, not everything about my past is horrible, and I do have some family members that I want you to meet.  I think it’ll be good for me, for us, if you come with me.”

He seemed to think about it for a second before leaning in to give her a small kiss.

“I would love to go home with you.”  She smiled and he couldn’t help but return the grin.  “I’ll need to clear some time at the studio and whatnot, but that shouldn’t be too difficult.  I’ve mostly been playing around with ideas anyway.”

Gia leaned back into his embrace and let out a contented sigh.

“It’s not all going to be fun, but hopefully we can make some good memories to take back with us.  I should be honest and tell you that I probably won’t be the best of company, but this is something I need to do.  I’m just happy you’re going to be there with me.”

Justin kissed her cheek and then her neck before resting his chin back on her shoulder.  He knew that this was a big step for her, and even for them too.  He was a little worried because he knew what happened last time Gia visited home, but he was hoping that this time he would be able to support her and keep her from falling back into her depression.

He was also curious to meet her family.  He didn’t think he’d be getting to meet her mother, but he was almost hoping to, if only to look the woman in the eyes and tell her how wrong she was about her daughter.  He probably wouldn’t get the chance, and that was probably for the better.  The last thing Justin wanted to do was cause more problems for Gia by way of her mother.

“I’m happy you want me to go.  I think this will be good for you.”  He squeezed her gently before letting her go and standing up.  “C’mon, we have a Labrador that needs some exercise.”  Frankie barked at Justin’s motion.  “That’s right, Biscuit Hips, I’m talking about you.”

Gia laughed at the dog’s antics and Justin’s words before standing to join him in a game of fetch. 

This was the way life was supposed to feel.

Gia had learned over the years to not let things get to her.  When she was younger, many people told her that she needed to learn how to relax.  As she got older, she found ways to calm herself and not get wound up about things that were out of her control.

This was not one of those moments.

She paced the bedroom in her apartment and stared at the half full suitcase sitting on her bed.  Packing wasn’t the issue; it’s what she was packing for that was making her on edge.

Frankie whined at her from his bed in the corner.  Seeing his owner so out of sorts made him anxious too.  It was needless to say that the atmosphere in the Mason apartment was a tense one.

Gia picked up a t-shirt and studied it for a moment before throwing it in the suitcase only to take it back out a few seconds later.  Normally, she wasn’t picky about what she chose to wear.  Jeans and t-shirts were her usual uniform and her main rule about wardrobe was comfort.  This felt different.  She felt like she had to present herself in the best light possible because everyone was going to be judging her.  She half expected the executioner to meet her as she stepped off the plane.

A sound behind her broke her from her thoughts and she turned to see Justin watching her from the doorway.

“Uh-oh, you’re wearing your Varitek jersey, that means something’s bothering you.”  He reached out to tug on the shoulder of the Red Sox attire before bringing her into his embrace.

“I would think it was obvious,” she retorted, her voice muffled by his shoulder.  She pulled her head back to look up at him.  “I feel like I’m heading to my death or something.”

He chuckled at her comment before propelling her toward the bed.  Justin sat her down before moving to her closet and picking out clothing and folding it into the suitcase.

“You’re not heading to your death.  I can’t guarantee that this trip will be fun, but I’ll be there to hold your hand and we’ll come out of this unscathed.”  He placed a pair of jeans into the bag before heading over to her dresser.

“Are you about to go through my underwear drawer?”  She chose not to reply to his comment about being unscathed, if only because she didn’t want to start a fight.

“You’re too wound up to pack; I’m just trying to help.”  He shot her a Cheshire grin before opening the drawer and pulling out a pair of lacy panties and spinning them on his index finger.

“I would think you would bypass that drawer all together and make me go without for the week.”

She watched an eyebrow rise as he thought the comment over.  “Now that you mention it….” 

Gia shot up from the bed and grabbed the underwear from his hand.  She shoved him out of the way before taking on the task herself.  “You’re a pervert.”

“But you love me for it.”  He prompted, and she glanced at him before nodding.

“Mmm…against my better judgment.” Gia chided and laughed when Justin’s jaw dropped in disbelief.

“You wound me, lady.”  He placed his hand to his chest before staggering to the bed and falling over.  Gia’s laughter rang out through the room as she put the last of her clothing in the suitcase and closed the bag.  She moved the item onto the floor before joining Justin on the bed.

“I’m glad you’re coming with me.”  The mood took a somber turn with her words.

“Well…I was thinking-“

“Does Trace know you’re doing that without him there to help?”  Justin shot her a dirty look before going on.

“I know my Momma really wants to see you, and I think that after this trip home you’re going to need a little vacation of sorts.  So I was thinking that we extend our trip and spend a week in Tennessee after we leave Boston.”

Gia thought the proposition over before smiling at him.

“That sounds wonderful.  School just ended for the summer so I don’t have to tutor anymore kids, and I got someone to cover my dog walking duties for me.”

“Good.  My mom will be pleased.  Grandma wants to see you too, she still thinks you need to gain weight and she’s making it her personal mission.  She also keeps asking me when I’m going to give her great grand children…so…”

Gia’s eyes widened and Justin laughed.  He pulled her over to him before placing a sound kiss on her lips.  He squeezed her tightly to him and pecked her lips a couple of times before pulling back a little.

“Now, how about going to my place and helping me pack?”

“Lazy ass.”

~*~

The plane started to make its decent toward Logan Airport and Gia started to feel butterflies flutter in her stomach.

The last time she had come home it had been for a less than happy occasion.  Before that, the only time she had been home was when she was getting ready to leave for the West Coast.  Her mother hadn’t been happy that she was leaving, and it had made it worse when Gia refused to come home.  She expected that this trip wasn’t going to change in her mother’s opinion.

She felt Justin squeeze her hand and she attempted to give him a smile.

“We can get off now.”

Gia noticed that the plane was almost empty.  She flushed a little but stood with Justin and the couple started to make their way off of the plane.

“After we get our luggage we have to get a rental.  I didn’t want my sister to have to find someone to watch the kids and I figured we would want a car of our own anyway.”

Justin nodded and leaned over to kiss her temple.

“Relax, I’m right here with you.”  She attempted another smile but didn’t say anything.

Justin was worried about her.  He knew what had happened and he understood her apprehension about being here again, but he wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to handle this yet.

He was also worried about their feeble relationship.  Things had been going really well for them lately and he knew that they were headed in a good direction, but he wasn’t sure how this trip was going to affect things.  Gia always seemed to be different after an encounter with her mother.

They managed to get their luggage and secure a car without much hassle.  Justin was a little worried about not being with security, but the people of Boston seemed a little preoccupied with their own worries to notice a pop star in their airport.

“I’ll drive.  They’ve changed the ways out of here so many times I don’t think I could tell you.”  Gia informed Justin as they started out of the airport parking lot.

After twenty minutes of fighting traffic in the city the made it to open highway and were going at a cruising speed.

“How long will it take to get there…and where is there?”

“It’ll be another forty minutes or so, depending on traffic.  I booked us a hotel room; it’s near my sister’s place in Manchester.  I didn’t want to impose on Meg, and I wanted some space of our own too.”

Justin’s eyebrows rose suggestively and Gia couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re such a pervert, Jut.”

“But you love me for it.”  He grinned at her and she smirked at him before responding.

“Yeah, against my better judgment.”

Driving down the back roads of Manchester, New Hampshire, Gia felt as if she had never left.  She hadn’t decided if that was a good feeling or not.

Not all of her memories from home were bad ones.  In fact, she had a fairly happy childhood. 

She felt the warmth of Justin’s hand as he placed in on her thigh and she offered him a weak smile.

“This is where you grew up?”

“More or less.  I actually grew up in a small town about twenty minutes from here, this is the city.”  Gia genuinely smiled when Justin let out a laugh.

“City, huh?” He watched out the window for a minute, “So you were bored growing up, too.”

“I found ways to entertain myself, but this place didn’t offer much help.”

“That sounds really dirty to me.”  He grinned at her and she let out a chuckle.

“I’m beginning to think that my boyfriend is a genuine pervert…but I love you for it.”

Justin’s jaw hung open with his usual reply, but he stayed silent because she took the words out of his mouth.

“I figured we’d check into the hotel and hang out for a bit before meeting my sister for dinner.  She and her husband, James, wanted to take us out tonight.”  Gia glanced at Justin to see him nod in approval.

A little while later they had checked into their hotel and made their way up to their room.  Justin dropped their bags inside the door and ran over to the bed, jumping and landing on his stomach.

It wasn’t the most luxurious of places, but it was the best that New Hampshire could offer, and it would do just fine for the week.

“I certainly don’t miss living out of hotel rooms.”  Justin commented from the bed.  Jamie had brought her suitcase over to the corner and she grabbed some clothing to change into.  On her way past the bed, Justin shot an arm out and brought her down next to him.

“Hey Peaches, where you going?”  He nuzzled her neck with his nose before kissing the soft skin below her ear.  Gia squirmed a bit before turning and capturing his lips with her own.  He let out a small moan as she deepened the kiss and then pulled away.

“I want to take a shower before we head out for dinner.”  She kissed him again and then pushed herself up from the mattress and headed toward the bathroom.

Justin let out a deep breath and focused on anything but his mounting sexual frustration.  He had been trying really hard to take things slowly, but it was getting more difficult by the day. 

He listened as the water came on and Gia started singing a Stevie Wonder song.  He cringed a little at her rendition.  She could carry a tune if the radio was on, and she didn’t have too bad a voice, but on her own she was lacking.  Justin rolled over and grabbed the remote.  He turned on the local sports station and turned up the volume succeeding in drowning out her voice.

~*~

Dinner had gone well, and Justin had really enjoyed meeting Gia’s sister and Brother-in-law.  James was a big man, over six feet and almost 300 pounds of muscle.  He was a football player and an avid sports fan and the two men talked sports for most of the meal.

Gia’s sister was an older version of Gia.  She was a little shorter and a little rounder from having children, but she was just as pleasant and just as funny as her younger sister.  Justin had truly enjoyed getting to know this side of his girlfriend, and it was good to see her looking so comfortable and happy. 

At the end of the meal Justin and James had made plans for a tee time during the week and Justin was really looking forward to getting to know the man better and getting out on the greens.

Right now they were in the car headed toward Gia’s mother’s house and he could feel the tension coming off of the girl next to him.

“Does your mom know we’re coming?”  He needed something to break the silence or else he was going to go crazy.

“No,” She shook her head with her words.  “I didn’t think it would go over well if I called first to ask.  She’ll just have to be surprised.”

“Are you going to be OK?”

Gia turned to look at Justin before returning her gaze to the highway.  She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before answering.  Her voice was slightly shaky as she spoke.

“I haven’t been back to this house for a long time, and it’s making me nervous.”  She licked her lips before continuing.  “She’s said a lot of things to hurt me in the past, and I’m afraid of what she’s going to tell me now…but I need to do this.”

She took in a shaky breath and stopped talking, her lips pinched together as she tried to stop the tears.  Justin reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a loving squeeze.

“I’m sorry I brought it up.  But when you’re ready to go, give me a sign and I’ll get you out of there, OK?”

She nodded quickly and the rest of the drive was made in relative silence.  Justin could still feel the nerves radiating off of Gia and it was making him uncomfortable, but he was determined to be strong for her.

They pulled off the highway and made their way down a winding back road.  A couple minutes later they were pulling into a long dirt driveway and toward Gia’s childhood home.  It was a small log cabin set in the middle of the woods.  There was an open driveway and a long stretch of yard behind the house where a shed and a dog kennel were sitting flanked by gardens.  It looked harmless enough, but the way Gia was staring out the window made it look like she was being forced into the Lion’s den.

He was the first to move, getting out of the car and going around to her door.  He opened it for her and helped her stand.  Justin pulled Gia into his arms and he kissed her temple before letting go. 

“You’ll be just fine.”

A sound behind them caused the couple to turn and a couple of dogs came rushing from the house toward them.  Gia managed a smile as the Labradors jumped around her.  She petted their ears and scratched their chins before looking up to see her mother standing on the front porch with a hard look on her face.

“Georgia.”  She stated with a coldness that gave both Justin and Gia the chills.  “What are you doing here?”

Gia took a few steps closer to the house before stopping and assuming a rigid stance.

“I have a few things I need to say to you.”  Her voice was filled with a strength that surprised even herself.  It was false advertising, because inside she was quickly turning to mush.

“I thought I made myself clear that I wanted nothing to do with you anymore.”  The older woman’s eyes flicked over to Justin before returning to Gia.  “And I don’t know why you brought him with you.”

Justin moved to step forward and speak but Gia stopped him with a look.

“He came because I wanted him to come, and you did make yourself clear, don’t worry.  After I say what I came to say you’ll never have to see me again.”

For a moment that seemed like says the two women stood locked in a battle of stares.  Gia’s mother was the first to break.

“You disgust me, you dirty tramp.  You think you have the right to come to my house and disturb my life?  As far as I’m concerned you’re dead, I can’t possibly imagine what you could have to say to me.”  The older woman spat out words that might as well have been laced with venom.  Gia watched Gia out of the corner of his eye and he could notice a slight tremble.  He just couldn’t decide if it were out of fear or anger.

“You were never a mother to me.” Gia’s voice was low, but her words were clear and powerful.  “I only ever wanted you to love me like a mother should love a daughter, but you were never capable of even that.  You made my life here hell.”

The young girl took a step closer to the porch before continuing her tirade.

“I watched you ruin a good man, I watched you break apart marriages, and I watched you serve yourself with no thought of anyone else.  You made me feel worthless; invisible.  I wanted to kill myself because I couldn’t get you to love me.  I hated you and I hated myself for it.”

Gia watched as her mother started to speak but she help up her hand to stop her.

“I’m not done yet.” She warned. “I didn’t come here to remind you of the hell you put me through.  I came here to tell you that I don’t care anymore.  Go ahead and write me off as dead, mother, because I don’t care.  I’ve made a life for myself, a good one.  I make good money, I have a job that I love, and I have a man in my life that I adore and he loves me.  And I did that all without you.”

“I’ll bet you made your life by whoring yourself out, like you always used to do as a child.”

“Oh shut up!”  Gia screamed, and her mother took a step backward in shock.

“Don’t you raise your voice to me-“

“I will do whatever I damn well please.”  Gia snapped back.  Justin placed a calming hand on her shoulder and she gave him a small glance that let him know she was appreciative.

“I should warn you, young man, my daughter is a lying tramp.”  Justin’s head snapped up and he looked at the woman on the porch.

“Don’t bring him into this.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell him, did you?”  A wicked smile crossed her features and she shot a look at Gia before continuing.  “She didn’t tell you that she seduced my ex-husband and drove him to leave me?  Oh, yes.  She was a little whore when she was younger and she ruined my marriage.”

Tears had started to run down Gia’s face and her hands were clenched in rage.  Justin looked at her in desperation, he didn’t know what he should do.

“That is not how it happened and you know it!”  Gia’s voice was thick with tears and her breathing was becoming erratic.  “Rick was my mother’s last husband.”

“And she seduced him into bed.”  The disgust was evident in her mother’s words, but Gia shook her head and let out a horrible sounding laugh.

“He raped me!” She screamed, “You left me alone with that man and he raped me.”

“Oh you asked for it, you slut.  Always walking around in those tight shirts and pants, he couldn’t help himself.”

“And she’s still defending him!  I can’t believe you.”  Gia choked for a normal breath of air.  Justin reached over and pulled her into him. 

“Hey, breathe with me, baby.  It’s ok.  She’s not worth this, Georgia, she’s not worth your time anymore.”  He spoke into her hair, leaving a kiss on her head.  Gia calmed down enough to look up at her mother and speak.

“It’s done, you get what you want.  As far as we’re both concerned, you only have two daughters and I certainly don’t have a mother anymore.  She died when I was young.”  Gia turned and Justin started to lead her back to the car.  She stopped and turned before adding, “And don’t you dare try and keep me from the rest of my family because they’ll turn on you too.  And that is not a threat, it’s a guarantee.”

Gia didn’t wait to hear a response.  Justin helped her into the passenger seat before running around and jumping behind the wheel.  He sped out of the driveway and headed in any direction that would get them as far away from that place as possible.  Gia had held herself together as long as she could, but now she was hysterically crying in the seat next to him and he feared another attack.

“Hey, Peaches, look at me.”  He pulled the car to the side of the road and waited for her to turn to him.  “I love you.” He stated strongly.

She hiccupped loudly and the tears didn’t stop rolling.  Justin pulled her across the seat and into his lap before kissing her face.

“You need to calm down baby, I need you to control your breathing, OK.”  She looked up at him with fearful watery eyes and he could read the apprehension on her face.  “I love you Gia, and nothing that woman can say will ever change how I feel.”

He pulled her closer and she leaned her head against his shoulder and focused on calming down.

It was over and she could focus on moving forward.  She just wished she could do it without all the pain.

Justin tucked Gia beneath the covers of the hotel bed and kissed her forehead. She mumbled something before snuggling down into the sheets and falling back asleep.

After she had calmed down enough to give him directions back to the hotel, he drove while she slept in the passenger seat.  Exhaustion was written all over her face and she looked not unlike a zombie.  Really, Justin couldn’t blame her, because what she had just gone through with her mother would be difficult even on the strongest person.

He quietly stepped into the bathroom to take a shower.  He was hoping to ease away some of the stress of the morning.  He had expected things to be awkward with her mother, and he was even expecting yelling, but what had just taken place wasn’t something he’d ever imagined.

He was in a shock of his own.  He had just found out that his girlfriend had been raped by her step father, and to make it worse, her own mother blamed her for it, too.

This new piece of information explained a lot.  When he and Gia had started dating she had been apprehensive when it came to anything sexual.  She had explained that it had been a really long time for her and she was unsure of herself.  Of course Justin had done what he could to make her comfortable.  The strange part—that now made sense—was that once their relationship became physical, Gia was almost always the aggressive one.  She liked to be in control and even if Justin would initiate something, Gia would take over.  He wasn’t going to complain, but he did wonder sometimes.

Now he understood.  She probably felt that being in control of the situation would erase the memory of being taken advantage of by another man.

Tipping his head back, Justin let the hot water run down his face and over his body, rinsing off any soap.

He tried to stop thinking about the times he and Gia had been together.  It wasn’t helping his frustration.  And now, he was worried about doing something to hurt her or push her. 

With a huff, he stepped out of the shower and dried off, quickly getting into some comfortable clothing.  It was only around eleven in the morning, but he figured he and Gia could nap for a while to help relieve some of the stress.  Standing there listening to Gia’s mother berate her daughter took more out of him than he thought.

He stepped out of the bathroom and glanced at the bed.  Gia’s back was turned to him and he smiled when he heard her snore lightly.

He padded over to the bed and pulled the covers back before sliding between the sheets.  Gia stirred and rolled over to face him, her eyes heavy with sleep.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you.”  Justin reached over and pushed some hair out of her eyes before kissing the tip of her nose.  She smiled.

“It’s ok; I was waiting for you to get here.”  Her voice was thick and she seemed ready to fall back asleep any minute.

“I’m here now, go back to sleep.”  He kissed her soundly before pulling her to him and tucking her into his chest.  Gia wrapped her arms around his torso and breathed in deeply.

“Justin,” she mumbled but he heard.

“Mmm?” he pulled back a little to look at her sleepy face.

“I love you.”  A grin spread across his features and he pulled her close again.

“I love you too.”

~*~

They spent the rest of the day hanging around the hotel and relaxing.  They ordered room service and watched movies, deliberately keeping the mood light.  There were things that needed to be talked about, but neither Justin nor Gia were up to facing those demons yet.

Currently, Justin was getting ready to meet James for a day at the golf course.  Gia was going to spend the day with her sister and the kids while the boys played.  She had left a few minutes earlier, and Justin was waiting for James to get to the hotel to pick him up.

He was a little nervous.  For one, the man was huge and intimidating.  He was also Gia’s brother-in-law, and Gia had mentioned how close they were.  Apparently James was a big part of Gia’s life and she cared about her as if she were his little sister.

He finished getting ready and grabbed his clubs.  He didn’t like to think of himself as a spoiled pop-star, but when James had mentioned golfing Justin had placed a call to LA and had his clubs shipped out.  Golfing was his weakness.  He also figured it was a good way to get to know Gia’s family.

He headed toward the lobby and met James out front.

The car ride to the golf course was filled with talk about the previous evening’s sports news and other random chatter.  Justin really liked James and he hoped he was liked in return.

Twenty minutes later the two men were on the course getting ready to start their game.  Justin watched James tee up and he couldn’t get over the man’s size.  He had shoulders wider than some of his body guards and hands that looked like they could bend steel. 

“So Megan said that you and Gia had a run in with her mother yesterday?”  The bigger man asked.

“Yeah.  Gia told me some of the things her mother had done…I guess I didn’t realize how horrible the woman was until I listened to her talk to Gia.  It makes me sick just thinking about it.”  He tried not to visibly shutter, but the memory gave him the chills.

“She also told me that you found out about Rick.”  James eyed the man carefully, wanting to gauge his response.

“Yeah.  I had no idea.”  He paused for a moment to think before looking James in the eye.  “It makes me want to protect her even more.  I wanted to save her from whatever was getting to her before, but now I want to make sure nothing ever hurts her again.”

James stared for a moment before he turned back to his ball and swung the club.  Justin flinched at the power behind the hit and cleared his throat.

“What’s young longest drive?”

“Uhm…my buddies and I were just fooling at the driving range once and I hit one over 300 yards, I’m not sure what my best is on the course.”

Justin whistled with an impressed sound.  He walked over to the tee and got ready to take his turn.

“I have to be honest with you, Justin, I wasn’t sure if I was going to like you or not.”  James started and Justin paused at the tee.  “Gia is my little sister and I would do anything to make sure she’s safe.  I’ve seen that girl deal with a lot of shit in her life and I will do anything in my power to keep her from having to deal with anymore.”

Justin finished through with his swing and the two men started walking toward their balls.

“I feel like I’m a teenager and I’m being interrogated by the father on the first date.”  He let out a nervous laugh but stopped when James didn’t reciprocate.

“Gia’s a big girl and she sees something in you, but I swear, if you do anything to hurt her I will find you and end your singing and dancing career.”

Justin swallowed hard.

“I love her, more than I’ve loved anyone in a long time.  Having to spend three months without her just made me realize how much I need her in my life.  I would end my career myself before I would do anything to hurt Georgia.”

James eyed Justin after he finished his speech and Justin prayed that it wasn’t obvious how profusely he was sweating.  After what seemed like hours the bigger man gave Justin a huge grin and slapped him on the back.

“I knew I liked you, Timberlake.”

Justin let out a huge breath.  Now that the interrogation was over the two men proceeded to finish their game and have a good time talking sports and music.

 ~*~

“Madison, stop teasing your brother!”  Megan scolded her 5 year old and then picked up her screaming 18-month-old to try and sooth him.

Gia watched her big sister with a smile.  It was never dull being with her sister, and even when they were being brats, Gia adored her niece and nephew. 

“Here, let me take Ryan.”  Megan gladly handed over her youngest and proceeded to take Madison by the hand as they walked through the mall.

“So, Gia, I have to tell you that Justin is much more attractive in person.”  The older sister grinned and Gia blushed a little.  “I mean, I know we were pretty close when we went to that concert of his, but damn!”

“OK, you can stop drooling over my boyfriend.  I don’t say things like that about James, do I?”

“No, but he’s your big brother, that would be gross.”

Gia had to smile at her older sister’s antics.  Even though they were five years apart in age, Megan was one of Gia’s best friends.  She and her sister had grown very close growing up and that hadn’t changed one bit when Gia flew cross country.

“So, how are things with lover boy? Lordy, I never ever thought that you would be shacking up with Justin Timberlake.”

“Way to be tactful, Meg.” Gia laughed, “Things are better.  I mean, it was strange starting over again, but we’ve made more of an effort this time.”

“How did he handle the news about Rick?  You said you weren’t sure if you were ever going to tell him.”

“After we left Mom’s house he told me that he loved me and no matter what she said it wouldn’t change his opinion about me.  We haven’t talked about it yet, but I know I need to.  I’m sure he has questions and I think he deserves some answers.”

They walked in silence a little while, stopping to browse through a cart of jewelry.  Ryan started to fuss and babble the few words he knew for “hungry” and when her brother started getting attention, Madison started to complain about being hungry too.

“All right, we’ll go get food.”  Megan strapped Ryan back into the stroller and the group walked to the food court.  Gia waited with the kids while Megan ordered and when the food was at the table and everyone was settled, their conversation resumed.

“What are your plans after leaving here?  Are you headed back to L.A?”

“No, Justin’s Mom wants to see me and he thinks I need a mini vacation, so we’re spending a week in Tennessee.”

“You’re close with his mother?”

Gia nodded.  “She’s been more of a mother to me than anyone else.  Lynn and I hit it off when we first met, I don’t know how.  She just took me under her wing, so to speak, and we’ve been close ever since.  Even when Justin and I took that break, she would still call to check up on me.”

“Why did you take him back, after he left you, I thought you were pissed at him?”  Megan dipped a french fry in ketchup and handed it to her son, who then proceeded to smear it all over his face.

“I thought I was pissed too.  I was ready to write him off as a part of my past and I thought that the only way I could move on and get over all of my issues would be to forget about him.  When he helped me with that panic attack though, and I was sitting there in his arms…none of it mattered.  I forgave him for leaving without even having to think about it.”

The young girl let out a wistful sigh before finishing off her sandwich. 

“Gia, I wanted to tell you that James and I are behind you one-hundred percent.  He told me that he wants nothing to do with Mom anymore, either.  He said that I can take the kids if I want to, because she is their grandmother, but he will never set foot near that woman again.”

Gia sat back in shock and struggled with something to say.  She never imagined that her issues with her mother would affect so many people, but they had.

“He doesn’t need to do that, Meg, and you don’t need to stop taking the kids over there.  The only person mom’s ever failed was me, don’t punish your kids for that too.”

Megan shook her head while taking a sip of her soda.

“James hates the woman, Gia.  After everything she put you through, he said he can’t be trusted to go near her.  I’m not sure how I feel about it all yet, but I’m not happy about how she treated you.” 

Gia sat back in her chair and closed her eyes for a moment.  Even though the past 24 hours had been absolute hell on her, she felt light, somehow.  Having Justin with her and hearing that her sister and brother supported her made it all worth it. 

She felt like she was finally moving past everything, and even though she had a ways to go, she knew she was capable of making it.

Justin sat on the bed of the hotel room and flipped through channels.  He and James had grabbed some lunch after golf, and they were going to meet up with the girls but Megan had called and said that Ryan had gotten sick and it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to hang out.

So James dropped Justin off at the hotel before heading home to take care of his son.  Justin had talked to Gia a little while ago and she said she was going to help Megan get the kids home and then she would be on her way.  He was looking forward to being able to hang out with Gia tonight.  He knew that he had been to Manchester during his FutureSex/LoveShow last year but he never got a chance to explore.  He figured they could go out and find something fun to get their mind off of things.

A noise at the door attracted his attention, and Gia stepped through a moment later. 

She was tired and a little grouchy.  Things had been going well, and suddenly Ryan had gotten very ill and proceeded to puke up lunch all over Auntie.  Gia was now wearing one of her sister’s sweatshirts, but she still smelled like baby puke and it wasn’t helping her mood.

“Hey,” Justin got off the bed and headed in her direction but he stopped a few feet away, “Ooh, baby…you smell…gross.”

“Thanks.”  She huffed before going into the bathroom and slamming the door.

Justin waited until he could hear the water running before opening the door and heading into the bathroom.  He sat on the toilet and turned toward the curtain.  He had to swallow hard when he realized that the curtain was just a translucent sheet and he could clearly see the outline of his naked girlfriend.

“Focus, Timberlake.”  He coaxed himself to focus on anything but the wet girl next to him.

“Jut?”  She stuck her head around the curtain and looked at him sitting on the toilet.  “What are you doing?”

“You seemed upset; I wanted to make sure everything was OK.”  Her head disappeared behind the curtain again and he let out a breath of air.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you.  It’s just been a long day.  My sister and I talked about a lot of emotional stuff and then Ryan proceeded to puke all over me after lunch.”

“So that’s what that smell was.”  He chided and was glad to hear her laugh in response.

“Yeah, it was.  Hey, do you mind if we just hang here tonight?  I’m not feeling so hot, I’d like to just chill out here.”  Her voice became muffled when she tilted her head back and rinsed her hair under the stream of water.

“Sure.  I was thinking we could go to a bar or something, but if you’re tired I don’t mind staying in.  Do you want me to order us some food?”

“Uhm…You can get what you want.  I’m not really hungry.”

Justin replied before hurrying out of the bathroom.  He was thinking he might have to jump in the shower after her and cool off.  He was trying to be patient, but he was a man and it had been a long time.  Add that to the images of her in the shower that were running through his head, he was just about ready to get in there with her and take her against the shower wall.

He thought that they might go out and have a couple drinks, and then he would take her back here and make passionate love to her.  If she wasn’t feeling well and was tired, he figured that she would nix and sexual advances he made.  Sometimes, he hated being a gentleman.

Fifteen minutes later found them seated on the bed, Justin eating a steak and cheese and Gia sipping on some ginger ale.

“Jut, I wanted to talk to you about some stuff.”  Her tone was quiet and it caused him to stop eating and turn to her.

“Those words can never be good.”  He joked hoping to lighten the mood a little.  All this seriousness was starting to make him uncomfortable.

“I know you’re probably tired of hear about my problems, but…I wanted to tell you about Rick, and what happened.”

Justin put down his food and set the plate on the bedside table.  He scooted over on the bed and took Gia into his arms.

“You don’t need to do this for me, Peaches.  I know that you’ve been through a lot in the past couple of days, I don’t expect you to tell me everything right away.”

Gia shook her head before settling into his arms.  “I want to do this for me.  I’ve never told anyone about what happened, and the only people that know are family and my best friend, Christina.  I want to tell you.”

He nodded for her to continue and she took a deep breath before starting.

“It was right after my high school graduation.  Christina and I had gone to the beach and we were going to head out to a party after, but I wanted to go home and shower first.  I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard Rick come in.”  Gia swallowed hard and closed her eyes against the tears that were forming.  Justin pulled her closer to him.

“Rick and I weren’t close at all, I mean, he was nice enough but I didn’t really want anything to do with him simply because he was my mother’s husband.  I had stepped out of the bathroom and was walking toward my room when he stepped in front of me.  I could smell the alcohol on his breath from five feet away.  I tried to go around him but he kept getting in my way.  I asked him to leave me alone, but he just smiled this…this horrible grin.”

Tears were falling freely down her face and Justin reached over to wipe them with the pads of his thumbs.

“You don’t need to do this, Georgia.”

“Yes I do.” She said sternly. “He said that he had been waiting for this for a long time, that my mother was just a cover…that he’d really wanted me all along.  I backed up trying to move away but he grabbed me by the arms and forced me against the wall.  I could feel his breath on my neck and his hands on my legs.  I only had a towel on from my shower and he started to pull it off.  I screamed and struggled but he was so much stronger than I was…I couldn’t make him stop.”

She took in a ragged breath and paused to calm herself down.

“He raped me against the hallway wall.  I can still hear him grunting above me and feel his hands gripping my wrists together above my head.  I can still feel the pain of him forcing himself into me, and I can feel the blood on my legs.  I blacked out before he was finished, and when I woke up he was gone.  I managed to crawl to my phone that was on the bathroom counter, but I couldn’t bring myself to move anywhere else.  I called Christina and she rushed over to get me, she found me bloody and naked on the bathroom floor.

“She helped me get dressed and then she rushed me to the hospital.  We called the cops too, and they met us there to get a statement and the rape kit from the doctors.  I had to have stitches because he was so rough.  The police put out an APB for his car and he had a warrant out for his arrest.  I called my mom and I figured that she would be sympathetic because her daughter had just been violated, but when I told her what happened she blamed me for it all.  She said that I had always been jealous of her and Rick and that I had made him come after me to ruin their marriage.”

She stopped and Justin placed a few quick kisses on her temple.  After a minute or two she continued to speak.

“I left for LA shortly after they had arrested Rick.  He pleaded guilty to the charges of rape and filed for divorce from my mother.  She never forgave me for that, obviously.  Rick is still in jail.”

A silence filled the room and Justin struggled to think of something to say.  What do you tell someone that had just relayed such a horrible story?  He was still trying to think when Gia started speaking again.

“I’m sorry to put all of this on you, Justin.  I’m sure you never expected to get involved with someone that has so much baggage.”

“Hey, you stop that right now.”  She was surprised by his stern tone.  “Georgia, I don’t care if you’re father was the head of the Mafia and you’re the heir to the throne.  You’re past is only important to me because it made you who you are today.  I love who you are today.”

She started to interrupt but he stopped her.

“I’m so sorry for ever leaving you, Gia.  I know my reasons and I know that everything turned out OK in the end, but I shouldn’t have ever left you to fight this on your own.  I should have stayed with you and been there to help you get past all of this.  I never imagined that you kept all of these skeletons in your closet, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t stay to help you.”

“You did the right thing, Justin.  You were right when you said that I needed to heal on my own.”

“I know, but I should have been there anyway.”

“Stop beating yourself up over it all…that’s what caused problems with us in the first place.  I kept feeling guilty for everything that happened and it came between us.”

“I love you, Georgia Lynn Mason.”  He smiled softly at her before leaning in to kiss her.  “I promise you that I will be here for whatever else you go through, good or bad.  Being without sucked.”

She smiled before giving him another kiss.

“I’m not completely better yet, Jut, I still have a lot to work out with Emma and with myself.  It’s not always going to be perfect.”  She sat back to watch his reaction.  He took a deep breath and scratched the back of his neck before speaking.

“I know it’s not going to be perfect.  I just…I don’t want things to go back to how they were before.  I can’t watch you fall apart and not know how to help you.  You need to stay honest and open with me, Peaches.”

“I’m trying, but you have to be patient too.  I’m fighting this, Justin, especially now that things are better with us.  I can’t promise that I won’t have bad days, but I’ll do my best to let you know what’s going on in my head…just…don’t leave me again, OK?”

He gave her a small smile before sliding down under the blankets on the bed and bringing her with him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Georgia.  You’re stuck with me.”  She groaned playfully and tried to roll away from him but he caught her.  He pulled her in for a deep kiss and let out a grunt when she pulled back.

“I’m sorry, Jut.  I’m just not up for that tonight, I’m tired and I don’t feel all that well.”  She gave him an apologetic look and he sighed.

“Ok, ok…Night Georgia, sweet dreams.”  Justin decided right then that he was going to have to wait for Gia to come to him because forcing her wasn’t going to work.  Letting out another sigh he focused on going to sleep. 

They finished up the week in New Hampshire by spending some time with Megan, James and the kids and they did manage to get out to a bar one night.  It had been as enjoyable as it could’ve been with everything that had happened.

Now they were in Tennessee and Gia was watching Justin clean his mother’s pool and there was only one thought running through her head.

She was horny.

Gia wasn’t one to use the word horny to describe herself often, she thought it was a little crude.  But it was the only word that fit her current situation.  It had been a long time since she had been intimate with Justin and now that she had dealt with some of her problems, her focus was returning to more normal needs…like sex.

She watched Justin walk around the pool with the skimmer.  His skin glistened in the sunlight and she could see the muscles flexing in his back as he moved.  He had on only a pair of swim shorts and they were sitting dangerously low on his hips.  She knew what sat just below that piece of fabric and she was having a really hard time thinking about anything else.

Justin, seeming satisfied with his cleaning work, dropped the skimmer and dived into the pool.  He glided through the water and headed in Gia’s direction before surfacing and climbing the steps.  Gia watched the water roll down his torso and disappear into the band of his shorts.  She had to hold in a groan.

“You look hot, baby, your face is all red.  You sure you don’t want to swim with me?”  Justin asked in a concerned voice as he sat in a patio chair facing Gia’s reclined chair.

“Uhm…no.  You know what though, I think I will go jump in the shower to cool off.  Yeah, that sounds safe…I mean good.”

Justin watched with amusement as she scrambled up from her chair and pecked him on the cheek before rushing into his mother’s house and up the stairs. 

“We’re at his mother’s house…we’re at his mother’s house…” Gia repeated over and over as she climbed the stairs.  She was hoping that it would help her focus and stop thinking about all the things she wanted to do to Justin.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

Justin walked over to the outdoor shower and rinsed himself off.  He knew he was getting to Gia and he couldn’t help but smile when he thought of the completely flustered look on her face as she watched him.

He grabbed a towel and dried off before wrapping it around his waist and then stepping out of his swim shorts.  Normally, he would go inside and change, but his mother wasn’t going to be home until much later.  He also figured that it would aid in his plan to get to Gia.

Climbing the stairs he could hear the water in the bathroom shower turn off and the curtain slide open.  He waited a few moments before heading into the bedroom.  He started to sing loudly, making his presence known.

“Jut?”  Gia’s muffled voice came from behind the bathroom door.

“Out here Peaches.”  He danced around the room a moment and stopped when he heard the door open.

“What are you doing?”  She eyed the towel around his torso and swallowed hard.  He wasn’t wearing anything else.  “Are you going to shower?”

“Oh, no.  I rinsed off with the outside shower, I just didn’t want to bring my wet swimsuit into the house.  I was coming up to get some clothes.

He stared at her standing there in a towel and had to force himself not to rush over to her and throw her on the bed.  His plan was to make her come to him.

“You changed outside?”  She pictured him walking around the backyard without anything on and she had to close her eyes in hopes that the mental image would go away.

“I had the towel around my waist, but it’s not a huge deal.  My mom isn’t going to be home until late tonight.  She had some management things to take care of and then she was meeting Paul for dinner.”

I thought passed through Gia’s mind before she shook it off.  “No, we’re in his mother’s house.”

“What?”

Gia’s face flushed red as she realized that she had just spoken those words out loud.

“Nothing…” 

 They two of them stood staring at each other both trying not to make it obvious that they were staring.  The tension in the room was thick and Justin was starting to think that waiting for Gia to come to him was going to be too great a torture.

“Oh fuck it.”  He let out his words on a breath and hurried over to the door.  Gia closed her eyes and sighed, thinking the torture was over.  She heard the door closed and figured she was now alone, but seconds later she felt hands on her hips.  Before she could react Justin’s lips were on hers and she was responding but dragging her hands up his shoulders and to the hair on the back of his neck.

“Justin…” She breathed out when his lips started to trail down her neck and over her shoulder.  “We’re in your mom’s house…this feels…”

“Like we’ve waited too long?” He finished even though he knew what she wanted to say.  “Peaches, she’s not going to be home until later.  I’ve been trying to be patient, but you’re standing there in just a towel and I know you’re naked and I haven’t had sex in months…”

Gia cut him off by covering his mouth with her own and pushing him backward toward the bed.  The thought that she was in his mother’s house flitted through her head again, but it left as soon as she felt Justin drag his hand up her leg and underneath the towel.

Justin’s senses were on overdrive and he had to focus on slowing down.  He was desperate but he certainly wasn’t going to rush this.  He rolled them over so Gia was underneath him and he tugged on the towel, opening it up and gazing down at her.

Her skin was warm from being in the sun most of the day, and it was slightly tanned.  He ran a hand across her stomach and smiled when goose bumps formed on her skin.

“You’re so beautiful.”  She blushed at his comment and at the fact that he was openly admiring her naked body.  It had been just as long for her too and it was a little unnerving.  She glanced down at the towel still around Justin’s waist and grinned before pulling it off and throwing it on the floor.  She noted his arousal and raised an eyebrow at him, watching him blush.

She gasped when she felt him run his tongue up the side of her neck before he nibbled on her ear.  At the same time his hands had started to caress her thighs and she squirmed underneath him.

“I forgot you were that ticklish.”  He laughed when she tried to get away from his hands.

“Uh huh…sure.  You never seemed to forget that I was ticklish.”  She ran her fingers over his abs before kissing his shoulder.

“I certainly didn’t forget what this makes you do.”  Gia let out a moan when Justin’s plunged a finger deep inside her and then inserting another.  He grinned, “You always made that noise.”

Gia squirmed underneath him again, but this time it was for a completely different reason.  She panted heavily, trying hard to control her reaction but it was getting increasingly difficult.

“Jut…” She breathed.  He slowed his hands only a little causing her to writhe even more.  “Please…”  She was almost to the point of begging and Justin was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to hold out any longer.

He slipped his hand from between her thighs and crushed his lips to hers.  She attempted to roll them over so she could take control but he held her to the bed with a gentle force.

“Uh uh.” He breathed, “Relax Georgia.  Just let me do this, OK?”  He kissed her softly before positioning himself above her.  “Open your eyes, Peaches, you need to look at me.”

He waited until her blue eyes were staring up at his before slowly entering her.  They both sucked in a breath and Justin was still for a few moments.  He gazed down at Georgia and smiled when her hips started to rock against his.  He allowed her to set a pace and then matched her rhythm with his own thrusts.

Gia moaned when Justin lowered his head and took one of her nipples in his mouth.  She was bordering on a sensory overload but it felt so damn good she didn’t really care.  She had thought she would never be with Justin like this again and she was glad that she was wrong.  She had also thought that she would never be able to let a man take control of a sexual situation because of her past, but nothing about this felt forced or wrong and she was happy to let Justin take over.

He was good.

Gia started to move her hips faster and harder into Justin’s and he knew that she was close.  He could feel his own release close and he knew it wouldn’t be long.  He leaned down and kissed Gia slowly, a contrast to the rhythm of their hips.  Moments later they both climaxed and Justin fell half on top of Gia, spent.

“Jut,” She whispered, her chest heaving to catch her breath.  When he lifted his head to look at her she smiled.  “I love you.”

Justin lifted himself with his arms and hovered over Gia, placing a kiss on her forehead and nose.  “I love you too.”

The couple laid in silence, both trying to calm their racing hearts.  Justin’s head rested on Gia’s chest and he listened to her heart beat.  He felt completely content for the first time in a really long time.

A noise startled him from his reverie and Gia started pushing on his shoulder.

“Justin!  Your mother is home! You said she wouldn’t be home until later!”  She was starting to panic and Justin thought it was cute.

“Georgia, relax, I’m a big boy, I’m sure my mom won’t think any less of us for having sex.”

“Shhh!!” She almost screamed, “Don’t say that word, she might hear us.”  Gia had clutched her discarded towel to her chest and attempted to cover up.

“Peaches, calm down.”  Justin kissed her cheek before getting out of bed and throwing on a pair of shorts.  A voice called his name from down the hall and he winked at Gia before answering.  “In mom room, Mom, I’ll be out in a second.”

Gia scrambled into the bathroom and grabbed a bathrobe as Justin opened the door.  His smiled dropped a little when it wasn’t his mother that he saw.

“Gram, hey!”  He laughed nervously and Gia’s face turned pale.  The elderly woman came into the bedroom and stopped when she noted Gia in a bathrobe and the bed in disarray.  She grinned at her grandson before slapping him on the back.

“If I’d have know I was interrupting I would’ve waited.  I just wanted to tell you that I’m making dinner at my house later and I would like you and Georgia to be there.”  The older woman smiled at Gia and gave her a wink before turning and walking out of the bedroom.

When the woman was gone and they had heard the front door shut Gia let out a groan and fell over onto the bed.  Justin tried to hold in the laughter but a chuckle escaped and before he could stop himself he was clutching his stomach in a fit of laughter.

“I guess she really wants that great-grand child.”  He got out between the hiccups of laughter.

“Very funny,” Gia almost seethed, “I can’t go to dinner now!”  She clutched her robe tighter to her body and glared at her laughing boyfriend.  She really didn’t find this situation amusing.

“Baby, at least she approved.  I mean, she could’ve given you the evil eye and started praying for your soul.”  He chuckled again and Gia chucked a pillow at him.  He lunged toward the bed and landed with a soft thud.  He leaned over and kissed Gia soundly before pulling her into his embrace and sliding his hands underneath her bathrobe.

Georgia was about to protest but she let out a moan instead.  Justin smiled to himself and continued to attend to his girlfriend.  He would kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.  He would take Gia’s mind off of her embarrassment and have another round of amazing sex. 

He was a genius.

Dinner had been fun and relaxing and Justin had really enjoyed being around his grandparents.  They were always so welcoming and they reminded him of simpler times.

Gia had seemed fine throughout the meal and there was no mention of what had happened earlier that afternoon.  Justin thought that things were fine, but now as they were walking back toward his mother’s house, he wasn’t so sure.

She had drawn back into herself again.  She had put on a convincing façade during dinner, but now that no one else was around Justin was starting to see that she wasn’t as happy as she had first let on.

“Are you OK, Peaches?”  His voice broke the silence that had settled between them and it took Gia a few minutes to acknowledge that he had spoken.  She seemed consumed with her thoughts and he wondered what was going through her head.

“Huh?  Oh…yeah, I’ll be fine.”  Her answer wasn’t convincing and she wouldn’t look at him when she spoke.

“Georgia, what’s going on?”  His voice was stern and it caused her to stop walking and turn toward him.

“I don’t know, Justin.  I don’t know what’s going on.  I can’t tell you what I’m thinking because I don’t know…something’s bothering me and I can’t figure it out and I would really appreciate it if you just left me alone for a while, ok?”  Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence and she didn’t give him time to respond as she stormed off in the direction of the house.

“Fuck.”  Justin kicked at a rock near his foot and let out a grunt of frustration.  This was not supposed to be happening again.

He took his time getting back to the house, relieved to see his mother’s car in the driveway.  Gia was no where to be found as he entered the house and headed toward the kitchen where he heard voices.  His mother was putting away dishes and Paul was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

“Georgia is out on the back porch, she seems pretty upset.”  Paul eyed Justin to watch for a reaction.  The younger man glanced at the back door before unceremoniously flopping down in a chair.

“I don’t think she wants to see me right now…actually, I know she doesn’t want to see me.”  Lynn handed him a cup of coffee before disappearing onto the back porch with two mugs in her hands.

Paul set his cup on the table before turning and facing his step son.  “What’s going on?”

Justin let out a heavy sigh and rested his head in his hands.  “I don’t know what’s going on.  She’s pulling away from me again and I don’t know how to stop it.”  He sounded on the verge of tears.

“Is it her depression?”  Paul stood and brought over a plate of cookies Lynn had made earlier setting it in front of Justin.

“I think so.  I asked her what was bothering her and she snapped at me.  I don’t know what to do.”  He shoved a cookie in his mouth and chewed angrily.

“There isn’t much you can do but sit and wait.  She’s got a lot going on in her head right now, Son, and she needs to figure it out before she can let you help.”  He picked up a cookie himself and Justin lifted his eyes to look at the older man.

“Did she talk to you?”

“No, she didn’t.”  He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “Your mother dealt with depression for a while.”

“She did?”  Justin’s eyebrows rose to his hair line in shock.

“Yup.  Right around the time we met she was finalizing her divorce with your father and she was really stressed out about everything.  She and I went through a lot that first year, it was difficult.”

“I didn’t know this.  Mom was really depressed?”  Paul nodded and finished off his cup of coffee.  He went to the coffee maker and poured himself another cup and offered to fill Justin’s. 

“Your mother tried hard to keep it from you.  Even when you were little you were very aware of things around you, especially your mom.  She and I struggled to get through everything, and it was tough but we made it.  This is just a phase, Justin.  I don’t know all of the gory details but I know that Gia has been through a lot in her life.  She’ll get through this; you just need to be patient and supportive.”

Justin sat back in his chair and let his Dad’s words mull over in his head.  He hadn’t known that his mother had dealt with depression in her life.  Although he knew it wasn’t true, he couldn’t help but feel like no one knew what he was going through.  Hearing Paul tell him that his mother went through something similar and they got through it together was encouraging.

“Dad,”  He looked up at the older man and waited until he had his attention.  “Do you think it was wrong of me to leave Gia before?  I mean, was it a bad idea for me to give her space?  Should I have stayed?”  Justin’s voice was filled with guilt and desperation and Paul’s heart went out to him.

“I think you did what you felt was best.  Even though your mother thought you should have stayed and been there for her it wouldn’t have helped if you felt suffocated too.  You can only help if you’re willing to put in the time and effort.  If you needed to give yourself space, then I think you did the right thing.”  He finished off the second cup and set it down with a clunk.  “and I think as far as Gia is concerned the space was beneficial.  She’s a strong girl, Justin.  You two will be just fine.”

~*~

Gia and Lynn sat in the glider and sipped their coffee in silence.  The crickets were chirping and dusk was settling in causing a sleepy feel to fall over the two ladies.

Gia’s head was swimming with thoughts and she didn’t know where to start.  She wasn’t even sure what had triggered this mental breakdown, but it was bothering her and it was affecting the people around her.

Lynn reached to a small table next to the glider and pulled out a blanket.  Even though it was summer the night held a slight chill.  She draped the fabric over their laps and  petted Gia’s leg.

“How was dinner?  I know my mother was really excited that you and Justin were home.”

“Oh…dinner was nice.  I’ve always enjoyed spending time with your parents.”  Gia sipped the last of her coffee and placed her mug on the table. 

“I heard about this afternoon.”  Lynn watched the girl’s face turn a deep shade of red and she ducked her head in embarrassment.  “It’s OK, Gia.  I know that you and my son are adults.  My mother was just teasing the two of you, she really meant no harm.”

Gia shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  She was wondering if maybe they should call up Justin’s dad and let him know about their afternoon activities, then everyone in his family could know.

“I guess I’m just embarrassed.  My family was never open and…understanding.”  She offered a small smile to Lynn but it didn’t really reach her eyes.

“Is that what’s been bothering you?”

Gia let out a breath of air and shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I think I was just so worried that Grandma Sadie would think less of me for being with Justin in your house.”  Her voice became shaky with tears and she paused a moment to collect herself.  “I guess I’m just used to being judged and put down…the feelings became too overwhelming for me.”

Lynn gave the girl a sad smile and wrapped her arm around her shoulder.  She hugged Gia to her side and kissed her temple.

“It’s OK to feel overwhelmed, darlin’.  It’s OK for you to have bad days and want to cry.”

“But I’m so sick of feeling that way, I should be better than this.”  A few tears had fallen down her cheeks and Lynn wiped them off with her thumbs.

“I know, Georgia.  I know what you’re feeling, and it’s OK.  You just need to let yourself feel it and then you need to focus on moving past that feeling.  Don’t be afraid to feel upset, and don’t be afraid to let people help you.”

Gia took some deep breaths in an attempt to calm down.  She leaned into Lynn’s embrace and rested her head on the woman’s shoulder.

“I can’t thank you enough for all of your support…”  She trailed off and Lynn knew there was a ‘but’ coming.  “It just makes me wish that my own mother could love me like you do.”

Lynn’s heart broke with those words and she squeezed the girl a little tighter to her.

“I wish I could fix that for you because every girl needs her Momma.  I know that I’m just your boyfriend’s mother, but I’ve come to think of you as one of my own.  This family may not be the one you were born into, but you are loved here, Gia.”

Gia nodded and sniffled.  She wiped at her face with the back of her hands and took a calming breath.  “I know.”

“You have been through so much in your lifetime, a lesser person would’ve broken by now.  I know this may not help much right now, but you will get through this.  You will make it past these feelings and you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.”

“You’re right…it doesn’t help much right now.”  The two women giggled a little and Lynn placed another kiss on Gia’s forehead.

“You’ll be OK, darlin’.  You can always call me to talk.”  She waited for Gia to acknowledge the statement before standing and helping the girl up.  “Now, there should be some cookies inside.  That is, unless the boys got to them and ate them all.”

Gia paused for a second at the door.  “You mean Justin had a chance to eat them first?  There won’t be anything left.”  Lynn laughed and the two women headed back inside the kitchen.

Justin and Paul were laughing over something sports related, both of them seated at the table.  A plate of crumbs sat between then and Lynn was about to scold them but Justin stood and headed to the counter.

“Don’t yell yet, I knew I would get carried away because your cookies are the best.”  He gave her a cheeky grin and produced a plate of cookies.  “So I saved you both a plate.”  His grin grew when Lynn placed a kiss on his cheek.

Gia offered him a smile before stealing a couple of cookies and excusing herself to their bedroom upstairs.  She needed a little bit of space to clear her head and calm down.  Talking with Lynn was helpful, but it couldn’t make all of the overwhelming feelings go away. Gia had felt some relief after spending time with her sister and gaining come closure from her mother, but she couldn’t ignore that a lot of hurtful things had been said. 

She was dealing with trying to sort out the feelings of being completely alone and unloved when she knew that wasn’t the case.  Being with Justin and his family helped heal a little of that loneliness, but it couldn’t make it go away completely.  Only time could do that. 

There was a soft knock on the door and she looked up to see Justin leaning against the door frame.

“Can I come in?”  If he could’ve been waiving a white flag, she was sure he would have had one.

“Sure.”  She stood from her seat on the bed and waited for Justin to start apologizing and blabbering on like he usually did in uncomfortable situations.  She was surprised when he took the few steps needed to get to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.  She felt the tears start up again and she tried her hardest to keep them in.

Justin let the hug last a few moments longer before pulling back a little and looking at Gia.  He smiled softly and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.  He wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks and gave her a gentle push so she was sitting on the bed again.  He climbed up on the mattress and sat against the head board before motioning for her to join him.

“I want to cuddle.”  His voice was childlike and she held in her laughter as she crawled up next to him and settled comfortably into his warm embrace.  Her head rested in the nook between his shoulder and neck and she held on tightly to his torso.  His kissed her temple and pulled her as close as he could.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.”  Gia’s voice was soft and unsure.  Justin placed a finger over her lips to silence her.

“You don’t need to apologize.  Just let me hold you, K?”  Gia didn’t respond, instead she snuggled closer to him and placed a kiss on the exposed skin of his neck.  She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, sinking into Justin and letting the stress of the day slowly leave her body.

“We’re going to be ok, Jut?”

“We’re already Ok, Peaches.”

The warm Tennessee heat wrapped around him and hugged him tightly.  The sweat was pouring off of his face and down into the neck of his t-shirt.  His feet pounded rhythmically on the pavement as he ran with no real destination in mind, just a need to move.  His breath puffed in and out as he focused to maintain a regular breathing pattern and his arms pumped up and down with the motion of his legs.

Running had always been therapeutic for Justin.  He found that his mind became clearer and his focus sharper as he worked out his aggression and frustration.  It was a different focus than he got when he was performing.  When he was dancing and singing he had the moves and words to think about.  When he was running he didn’t have to think about anything or he could think about everything.

Today he was thinking about Georgia.

She was spending the day in Memphis with his mother and Lisa.  The girls were having a day out of shopping and pampering.  Lynn had booked them appointments for manicures and pedicures and all sorts of other girly things, she thought it would help Gia relax and forget some of her troubles.

Justin had still been in bed when the girls left for the day.  Gia had kissed him goodbye and he had pretended to still be sleeping.  He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to say goodbye, but he wasn’t able to bring himself to roll over and look at her big blue eyes before she took off for the day.

Hence the reason for the excessive running.

There was a lot going through his head.  One thought in particular that scared him slightly.  As he was holding Gia last night and running his hands through her hair a thought passed through his mind and now he couldn’t really think of anything else.  He wanted to marry her.

Thinking about it now made him feel slightly off.  There had never been another relationship in his life where he had reached this point on his own.  Usually the girl he was with started the conversations and he went along with them, mostly.  It wasn’t that he hadn’t loved his other girlfriends, he had just never felt ready to settle down before.  He and Gia had never talked about marriage, not even before things went down hill.  They had both been content to be with each other and that was it.  She had never even made a joke about marriage before, so he was really surprised when the thought made it into his head on his own.

 With everything that had happened in the last few months Justin was even more surprised that he was feeling so strongly about marrying Gia.  Normally, all of the problems that the two of them had faced would be enough to push him in another direction.  Justin was a man that had been raised to work through things until they were resolved, but he was also of the school of thought that there was an amount of effort that could be considered too much.

His pace slowed slightly and he rested his hands above his head as he attempted to catch his breath.

Despite the problems that he and Gia had faced in the past, he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else.  It was starting to freak him out.

Although he had been in serious relationships in the past, he had never been at this place mentally.  It was scaring him, and yet, it felt good too.  He knew that this would change his life and he wouldn’t be able to live the bachelor lifestyle that he and his friends enjoyed.  But he was strangely OK with that. 

He was starting to imagine what it would be like to marry Georgia.  He could see them working through the problems they were facing now and then moving on to plan a beautiful wedding.  He could picture her in that white dress meeting him at the end of the aisle. 

He was starting to feel like an emotional woman.

It hit him last night, after he had talked with Paul that he wanted to support Georgia and watch her grow and gain back her happiness.  He wanted to stand beside her through whatever she would face, and he wanted her next to him for the rest of his life. 

He loved her.

Justin walked the rest of the way back to the house with a smile on his face.  He had made a lot of decisions in his life before, but he had never been as sure about anything as he was about this. 

He was also aware that he was going to get a lot of shit from all of his buddies and that his street cred would drop drastically, but he was oddly Ok with that. 

Justin let himself into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.  It was silent in the house and Justin enjoyed the moment to himself.  His life was filled with constant action and commotion; it was nice to be able to relax, especially in his childhood home.

After taking a quick shower, Justin grabbed his phone and dialed his best friend.

“Hey Trace…I’m good, man.  I need you to do me a favor…”

~*~

It had been a long two weeks and Gia was glad to finally be home.  She missed her apartment, she missed her dog, and she missed the familiarity of LA. 

She flopped down on her bed and let out a large sigh.  Frankie jumped up next to her and cuddled close to his owner.  Morgan had done a great job of taking care of him while Gia was gone, but he loved his master and he was glad she was back.

Justin entered into her line of sight and she heard the thud of her suitcase drop to the floor.  A second later the bed shifted as Justin plopped down next to her on the bed.  It was a tight squeeze with the three of them, but Gia didn’t mind at all.

“Home sweet home.”  She mumbled, too exhausted to give it much energy.

“Speaking of homes…”  Justin sat up and propped his head on his hand while looking down at his girlfriend.  “I’ve been doing some thinking.”

Georgia shifted so she could look him in the eyes and she waited for him to continue.

“I know that we wanted to take things slowly,” he licked his lips and sucked in a breath, “but I was thinking that you should move back in with me.”

There was silence as he waited for Gia to respond.  He couldn’t read the look on her face and it was starting to worry him a little.  Georgia, on the other hand, was thinking over the words he had just said and trying to figure out what she wanted.

“Do you think we’re ready for that?”  She picked at a loose string on the bed spread, her eyes downcast.

“I think that we’ve made a lot of progress and I think that I’m ready.  It’s up to you, Peaches.  It depends on how you feel about it.  I know you wanted space and to feel like you had your own life, but I think we could still manage that if you moved back into my place.”  He paused to let that sink in.  “Plus, Frankie would have a lot more room to run around and he’d have company.  You know that Buckley and Brennan love it when Frankie comes to visit.”

Georgia laughed.  “You had to bring the dogs into it.”  She smiled up and Justin before pushing him so he rolled back over onto his back.  She scooted over and climbed on top of his lanky frame before lowering herself so her body was flush with his.

“Are you trying to take my mind off of the question with sex?”  He felt her chest shake with laughter as she buried her face into his neck.

“No.  I want to move back in with you.  Give me a couple of weeks though, I want to have plenty of time to get everything together and I want to have a few more sessions with Emma too.”

“You don’t have to move in with me if you’re not ready, Peaches.  I won’t be completely devastated if you say no.”  OK, so he was lying, but he didn’t want to pressure her.

“No, no…I’m ready.”  She kissed his neck and continued up his jaw line, placing small kisses as she moved.  “I just don’t feel like packing yet.”

Justin’s laughed was stifled by her lips crashing into his.  He grabbed onto her hips and rolled the two of them over causing Frankie to go flying off the side of the bed with a thump.  The couple stopped to see the dog staring up at them with a not-so-amused look on his face before he stood and left the room.

Justin chuckled and bent down to capture Gia’s lips again.  “I’m kinda glad he left.  I don’t know if I could’ve concentrated knowing I was being watched.”

A giggle erupted from the girl beneath him and his grin widened.  He would never get tired of that laugh.

~*~

Justin slammed the car door shut and picked up the last couple of bags from Gia’s apartment.  He came around the front of the truck and spotted Gia holding onto Frankie’s leash and slinging a backpack over her shoulder.

They had spent the entire day moving all of her things from her apartment into his house.  Gia had spent the week packing up her place and finding a buyer.  It had been three weeks since Justin had mentioned his wanting her to move back in with them, and Georgia felt really ready. 

She shuffled her feet toward Justin and the couple made their way to the door. He reached for the handle and found it to be locked.

“Peaches, can you get the spare key from the gnome’s nose?”  He turned to see her rolling her eyes at him.

“Jut, are you telling me that we’re locked out?  Where is your key?”

“I don’t know, Georgia, somewhere.  But these bags are heavy and I don’t want to look.  Can you just grab it please?”

“Shit, Justin, you don’t have to snap at me, OK?  I’m tired too.  I’ve been moving shit all day too.  If you hadn’t forgotten the damn key we wouldn’t be standing out here like idiots.”

“Christ, Georgia.  Just get the fucking key from the gnome.”  He growled at her and she noticed a strange look on his face so she held her hands up in defeat.

“Fine…fine.”  Dropping Frankie’s leash and the bag on her shoulder she made her way over to the gnome next to the front steps.  She bent down and stuck her finger up the nose of the porcelain figure and felt the coldness of metal touching her skin, but it wasn’t the texture she was expecting.

Pulling her finger out and toward her face she gasped when she saw the ring instead of finding the house key.  Gia stood and turned to find Justin standing close behind her, a look of determination and nervousness on his face.  She watched as he dropped down to his knee and took her hands in his.

“Peaches…Georgia,” He licked his lips and stared up into her blue eyes. “I know that we have been through so much in the past few months, but it has only made my love for you stronger.  The time I spent without you opened my eyes to the fact that I never want us to be apart like that again.”

Georgia had lost her ability to stand and she found herself dropping to the ground and becoming level with Justin.

“I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, and I want to make you happy for the rest of yours.  Will you do me the honor of letting me be your husband?”

Tears had silently started to roll down her cheeks and it took a second for her to find her voice.  She nodded emphatically and trembled when he placed the diamond on her ring finger.

“Is that a yes?”  He smiled at her.

“That’s a hell yes.”  She laughed and wiped at her eyes.  He kissed her hard on the mouth and then stood up from the ground, taking her with him.  He lifted her into his arms and took the few steps to the door.  It opened with ease and she gave him a shocked look before smacking him lightly on the shoulder.  Justin grinned at her and kicked the front door closed with his foot.

As he brought Georgia further into the house he couldn’t help but notice how her eyes sparkled with happiness.

Her grey eyes had turned back to their brilliant blue.