Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh I believe in yesterday

Janelle felt the pain rip through her chest like nothing had ever done before. There was no way this could be really happening, she hadn't done anything wrong. She had a feeling when she came to the hotel tonight. He said he needed to talk to her, that it was extremely important that she get there as soon as possible.

                From the tone of his voice, she knew nothing good was going to come out of this conversation.

                Walking down the hallway to his suite, she noticed the look of pity on Mike's face, shame on Lonnie's, and embarrassment on Rachael's. She knew what was coming before she even raised her tiny fist to knock on the door. As her left hand came up, she looked at the 5 carat princess cut diamond engagement ring set in 24 carat white gold matching the 3 carat wedding band. The sight took her back to her wedding day, some 3 years before.

 

                "Do you, Justin Randall Timberlake, take Janelle Hope Fick, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" the priest asked, holding both her and Justin's left hands together in both of his.

                Looking up into her soon-to-be husband's eyes, she smiled at the love she saw shining back in them. This is the look that she would get to see for the rest of her life. This man was who she was going to get to go home to every night, to hold her as they slept the night away. "I do."

                "And do you, Janelle Hope Fick, take Justin Randall Timberlake, to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

                Nodding at his encouraging smile, she confidently said, "I do."

                "By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you man and wife. Justin, you may kiss your bride."

                Before the priest could even finish his words, Justin wrapped his strong arms around her waist and pulled her close. Dipping his head down, he firmly pressed his lips to hers in the most passionate kiss that they had ever experienced in their entire lives.

                "Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Justin Timberlake!"

 

                Holding her eyes tight closed, trying to fight off the tears that she knew were coming, Janelle connected her fist to the door at last. Backing away, she wrapped her purse around her tighter, wishing in some way that it would be able to shield away the pain that she knew was going to be affecting her tonight. She could already feel it start to creep into her chest again, starting from the tips of her toes and moving upward.

                She had felt pain like this before, when her mother was killed by a drunk driver on her 23rd birthday. She felt this pain at the exact moment her mother was hit, and she hadn't even known what was going on. But she knew what the pain meant. It meant the same thing that it did back then.

                Life as she knew it was about to end.

                Feeling herself start to hyperventilate, she bent over to try to force the air into her lungs and clear her head. As her eyes slowly started to clear, she opened them. And there standing in front of her was the one man she longed to see, yet at the same time dreaded that exact moment. Her eyes traveled from his feet, up his sweat pant clad legs, to the t-shirt that clung to those biceps that she loved to have wrapped around her every night, to his eyes.

                In those blues she could read everything. She knew as soon as she saw his eyes.

                It was over.

                After staring at him for a few minutes, the man forced himself to look away. He knew that she knew already, but he also knew that she was going to force him to tell her everything. She was going to go over every detail, and she'd want to know why. There was no rhyme or reason for what he had done. He had regretted it ever since. He wanted to prove that to her.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh yesterday came suddenly

                Grasping her hand and having to fight to hold onto it because she tried to pull away, he coaxed her into his hotel suite.

                "Ellie, you want to sit down?" he asked gently.

                "Don't call me that right now, Justin. Please, just don't call me that." The nickname was too painful for her to hear coming out of his mouth right now.

                Justin hung his head. "Ok, Janelle, will you please sit down?"

                She nodded her head and sat down in the single, overstuffed chair in the living room. Doing so forced him to sit away from her, far enough that she wouldn't be able to hit him. Yet close enough that she could still look into those eyes to see if he was telling the truth.

                "Tell me, Justin. Just put it out there and get it over with. You know that I already know."

                "So if you already know, why do I have to tell you?"

                "Because I want to hear you say it, damn it! I want you to admit it like the no-good, shit-eating asshole that you are!" Janelle screamed. Breathing in heavily, she made herself calm down. This would not be good for her health if she kept hyperventilating this way.

                Wincing his eyes shut, he turned his head away. He knew Janelle was close to tears, he could hear it in her voice even though she was yelling at him. He knew what he was about to tell her was going to break her. He knew it could be just as bad if not worse than when her mom died. He knew it would be worse because when her mom died, he was there to pull her out of her depression and get her started again. Now he would be the cause of that depression, and that thought alone had been eating him alive. It started the morning after, and had gotten progressively worse over the last few weeks.

                All the guys tried to stop him, they tried to help him walk away. But he couldn't. And he has no one to blame but himself.

                Forcing himself to get the worst part over, he opened his mouth, "I slept with someone, Janelle. I had an affair."

                The tears came then. Without sound, a waterfall came pouring from her eyes, down her cheeks, and into her hands that were holding her head up as she stared at him. The pain in her chest finally ripped all the way through, hurtful enough to make her keel over her knees as the tears flowed harder.

                Justin couldn't look. He was never able to see her cry before, let alone watch tears come down her gorgeous face that were caused by himself. He thought he heard her say something, but couldn't quite tell because her sobs has become vocal now.

                "WHO THE HELL WAS IT JUSTIN!" she finally yelled as she lifted her head up. "Or should I say ‘who is it?' Are you still with her? Were you with her last night when you called me at home, telling me I needed to meet you here today? Did you fuck her last night, too? Or was it a one-time thing? Fuck, Justin! Answer me already!"

                Justin put his hands on both sides of his head. How was he supposed to tell her that he had slept with her best friend? Her best friend who still lives in New York, where he met Janelle. Her best friend who was the maid of honor in their wedding. Her best friend who she had known since she was five.

Why she had to go

I don't know, she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

                And yet again, Janelle could read it in his eyes. And this time, she didn't want to believe what she was seeing. She tried to force herself to look away before her mind could confirm it, but it was no use. She had stared just long enough to see the guilt and betrayal in his eyes. "Aimee." That one word was all she had to say, and Justin could only nod his head.

                Janelle's thoughts raced back to all her treasured memories of herself and her best friend. The times while they were growing up playing out in the street, drawing houses in chalk on her driveway. Pretending that one day, some day in the future, they would own mansions and live the life they had always dreamed of. To growing up a little bit more and starting middle school together. They had all the same teachers and both developed their first crush on the same person; their gym teacher, Troy Jacobson.

                Aimee had always been boy crazy, a lot more so than Janelle. But it was always ok because they had two completely different tastes. Aimee always went after every guy that she could get her hands on, having strings of short-term relationships that never amounted to anything but another person to have sex with. Whereas Janelle was the exact opposite. When she started dating someone, she would only do it because she knew that there was something between them, something that would last for more than just a month or two. Janelle lived for the long-term relationships. She loved to feel connected with someone.

                But she has always trusted Aimee, even as they graduated high school and went to different colleges. They would drive across states just to see each other, because they had that sort of friendship that one would do anything for the other. They had been there for each other through everything. Aimee had missed walking at her own college graduation because of the death of Janelle's mom. She drove straight through the night to be there as soon as she possibly could. Two years later, she was holding the train to Janelle's wedding dress as she walked down the aisle. She made the toast at their reception, wishing them a long and happy life together.

                What the hell had happened?  What had she done?

                "When Justin. I need to know how this happened. And I need to know if it is still happening."

                Sighing, he looked up at his wife. "I don't know how it happened, really. I had been in New York for a while, recording the new album and everything. She had been going out a lot with me and Tim and the guys, and you weren't coming out to see me. So, one night she showed up with a bottle of wine, and before I knew it we were in bed together. I honestly don't know how it happened, Ellie. We were just talking one moment, and the next moment she was rolling off me. God, I really don't know how it happened. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I don't know what to do or say right now."

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh I believe in yesterday

                "It just happened? You started drinking wine and you just suddenly fell on the bed with her sitting on your cock?" Janelle asked. Her voice had become void of all emotion.

                "I don't know. I really don't remember anything after drinking the first glass of wine until I was pushing her off of me in bed. I honestly don't know. Please Ellie, you have to say you believe me. I never wanted this to happen."

                "Don't call me that, Justin. That is not a name that is to come out of your lips anymore. That name was reserved for my husband, which as of right now you are not." Turning her head away from him, silent tears started to slip down her face again.

                Justin stood up and started walking toward her. He wanted to make sure that she knew it was all a mistake. He wanted to make sure that she knew he would do anything to save their marriage, anything to have them back to what they were before he had screwed up their relationship. "Don't do this, please Janelle. I'm still your husband, I'm still right here. I'll do anything, anything at all. We can move away to Morocco, start a new life where no one knows us." Justin dropped to his knees in front of her, reaching for her hands. He just needed to hold her hand. He started to cry when she pulled her hands into her chest and cowered into the chair. "God, please don't do this. I love you, Janelle Timberlake. It was a mistake, one that I would do anything to reverse. But I can't turn back time and I can't take it away. But I can try to make up for it. I will make up for it until the day that I die, as long as it means that I can have you back in my arms again."

                His crying was reaching out to her, but she couldn't break. What was happening between them was his fault. He brought his pain on himself. He would go away for weeks, months at a time, and she never thought to turn to someone else. She never dreamed of finding another man, because to her, Justin was all she could ever want. He was her Prince Charming, he was her Knight in Shining Armor, he was her soul mate.

                But he could easily turn to the arms of another, the arms of her best friend because he got a little lonely in New York. She was working, for heaven's sake! Taking care of HIS record label, HIS artists, HIS charities. She was doing his bitch work for him, so that he could take all of his precious time to record this new album.

                Standing up, she pushed him away from her chair with her feet giving her room to place them on the ground. His eyes lit up, thinking that his begging and pleading might have gotten him somewhere. He stretched his arms out to pull her into them, and she turned and walked the other way.

                She walked straight to the table in the hallway where she had left her purse, the purse that she hoped to use as a shield. But she knew no purse, no keflar vest, no object, could protect what she felt right now. This pain was caused on the inside, and only time and love could heal it.

                Tossing the white bag over her shoulder, she turned to look at him. "Justin, I love you. With all of my heart do I love you. I probably always will, no matter what happens after this. You are my other half, my soul mate. But I don't know if I can forgive you for this. Every time I look at you right now, I see her hands on you. I see her lips going in places that only I should have ever seen. I see your hands on her, when the only woman they should have been on is me. I don't know how to trust you anymore, and I don't know what to say. Looking at you tears my heart to pieces, and I was already trying to pick it up off the floor before I even walked into this room tonight."

                Turning to walk away, Justin tried one last ditch effort to get her to stay. He grabbed her arms and spun her around to face him. Without hesitation, he crushed his lips to hers and pulled her as close to him as humanly possible. Massaging her lips with his own, he waited for her reaction. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and traced the lining of her lips, seeking an entrance. But she granted none. Defeated, he backed away and stared at her. "I love you Janelle, I'll say it over and over until you believe me that this was a mistake. I'll repeat it until you take me back, until you let me make everything better again."

                Shaking her head no, Janelle turned to the door and gripped the handle. Opening the door just slightly, she turned back to look at him one last time. "Justin..." she started off slowly. "Don't call me. Don't look for me. Don't send anyone after me to follow me. Leave me be. I have some thinking to do. And make sure you let Aimee know that I do not want to hear from her in any way, shape or form either. Can you do that for me?" He nodded his head yes. "Ok, I'm going to go away for a while. I need some time to sort everything out in my head. I'll call you when I know what I'm going to do."

                "How long is it going to be? I'm going to be dying not able to talk to you, to call you. How long should I have to wait?"

                "Justin, if you love me, you'll wait as long as it takes to clear my head."

Putting one foot out of the door, she turned back to add one last thing. It was something that he had been hoping to hear from her since the day that they were wed. "I'm pregnant. You'll know sometime before our baby is born."

Why'd she have to go?

I don't know, she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

 

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh I believe in yesterday

 

                Stepping out of her rental car, Janelle looked around to a place that brought up so many childhood memories. It was her parents' lake house in central Michigan, and she had been coming here since the age of 13. They had bought it because Janelle and her brother had begged and begged after visiting some friends that owned a cottage on the same lake. Janelle and Erik had fallen in love with the place and with the people there.

                Every summer until Janelle graduated college, she would come here. It was her sanctuary, the place she always knew would be there for her. When her mom had passed, this was the first place that she came. Erik had called her in LA, and without even telling Justin she took a flight into Chicago O'Hare and then drove the two and a half hours to the lake house. She had sat on the end of the dock, staring out into the water and the night sky until she couldn't hold her head up anymore.

 Finally, forced with the onset of exhaustion, she had made her way inside and lay down on the couch in the porch. It had been her mother's favorite spot, because the porch was surrounded with windows that overlooked the water.

                She remembered that Justin had been so worried for her then. He had come over to her apartment because they were supposed to go to dinner, and she was gone. He tried calling her phone hundreds of time that night she sat out on the dock, but she had left it in the car. Finally he had gotten a hold of Erik, and Erik had told him of the tragedy.

                He was on his personal jet on his way to Indianapolis within an hour.

                He had supported her through the whole ordeal, the preparations for the viewing and the funeral. He had stayed at her childhood home with her, and had been that boyfriend that she had always wished she would find.

                After the funeral, Justin and Erik seemed to become the best of friends. Whenever Janelle and Justin would return to Indiana to see Janelle's family, it was like Justin was going to see Erik and not spend time with her. Sometimes it would get on her nerves, but secretly it made her ecstatic that her brother and her boyfriend could get along so well.

                Her dad was never the easiest person to get along with, he was intimidating and not the most social man you would ever meet. But once they found out that they both had a fondness for motorcycles and beer, her father started treating him like another son.

                Everything had been close to perfect in their lives. She should have known that something bad was due to happen eventually. But all that could go through her mind right now were the good times, and the thought of her growing child.

 

                "Ahhh! Justin! Justin stop it! I'm serious!" Janelle yelled as Justin chased her around their living room. Janelle had just moved into his house that day and she couldn't have been happier. When he asked her to move in, she honestly could not believe what she was hearing. They were finally going to take their relationship to the next level.

                "Oh Ellie..." he taunted, as they faced off on opposite sides of the couch.

                She didn't know if she should turn to the left and run for the stairs and try to make it to their bedroom, or if she should go to the right and run outside. She'd never make it all the way up the stairs and down the hall before he caught up to her, but there was a chance she could make it to the sliding door and get it shut before he could.

                But before she had a chance to act on her decision, Justin bounded over the coach and tackled her into the overstuffed arm chair. "Gotcha!" he smiled, and dipped his head in to press his lips to hers.

                Moaning at the contact, Janelle wrapped her arms around his shoulders and dug her hands into the short hair at the base of his neck. She loved the way he kissed her; slow, strong, and thorough. She had never had a man kiss her the way Justin did. No man had ever been able to make her lose her train of thought within seconds.

                Taking one hand, he slid it up to graze the side of her breast, up her throat and cupper her cheek. He deepened the kiss, gently probing his tongue into her mouth. Lowering himself down all the way, he groaned as his erection settled against her center. He was hard already.

                Her hands made their way down to the hem of his shirt, running along the small patch of skin between his undershirt and his boxers. Tracing her way up his thin trail of hair, she lightly circled his belly button then made her way back down. Grasping the fabric of both shirts in her hands, she pushed up until she couldn't push anymore. Justin took the hint, sat up on his knees while ripping the shirts off over his head. He threw them somewhere across the room before settling fully against her again.

                His right hand worked its way down her side, caressing her breast and rubbing small circles on the side of her stomach. Slowly he pushed farther down, until he was grasping her completely through the cotton material of her yoga pants. He groaned to himself, he could feel how wet she was already through two layers of cloth.

                Rubbing along her slit, he pressed against her sensitive bud eliciting a gasp of surprise from her. Satisfied with the noise, he worked his hand backup, slipping underneath her shirt. He moved up until he was palming her breast under her bra, gently tweaking the nipple with his thumb and forefinger.

                He pulled back to look at the woman beneath him and Janelle had never felt such an intense look in her life. She watched as he rolled her pants down far enough to reach it, and arched her back off the chair as he quickly inserted a finger into her dripping center.

                "Oh God, Justin. Uhh."

                He set a quickly and steady rhythm with his finger, his thumb working her clit. He kissed up and down her neck, stopping to suckle and bite before soothing the area with his tongue. Cautiously, he added another finger.

                "Oh Ellie...you're so fucking wet, baby. Mmm," he muttered as he ground himself into the side of her leg. He needed friction, anything pushing against him.

                Janelle could feel herself getting close. The things this man could do with his fingers and mouth were indescribable. "Jus...Justin...oh shit, I'm so close..."

                Justin sped up even faster, rubbing her clit harder as he tried to get her to her release. "Come for me, Ellie girl, let daddy hear you scream."

                "Faster J, oh harderrrrrr..."

                "Mmm El, come on, you feel so good. I can feel you. You're so close, you wanna come so bad, don't you?"

                "Yes...Justin, shit, shit, shit!"

                Justin chuckled a bit as he concentrated on making her fly.

                "Oh fuck! FUCK! Justin I'm coming!" she yelled as she felt the fire race from her toes straight through her body to her stomach. She began convulsing, a stream of cuss words flying from her mouth. As she came down from her high, Justin kissed his way up her neck to her lips and pulled his hands out.

                "Who know my baby had a mouth like that?"

 

                Janelle had to smile to herself at the memory. She had no clue what had gotten into her that night, all she knew was that she had never been as vocal as she was that night. Maybe it was because they had just moved in to his house, where the closest houses were a quarter mile away. Janelle was used to living in an apartment, where you share half your walls with your neighbors.

                After unloading all of her belongings from her car, she brought them into the cottage and placed them in the room she would always take. Walking into the bathroom, she turned on the water pump and water heater. She would want a shower soon and there was no way she was taking one in cold water.

                Luckily it was late summer and her dad hadn't pulled the dock out yet. She grabbed a LaFuma chair and pulled it with her to the end. Placing it on the platform, she climbed in it and leaned back. Looking out over the lake, she ran over the houses of good friends of hers to see who was there. The Reed's had decided to come up for the weekend, along with the Robertson's and the Michael's. She was hoping to see the Easton's, but their porch lights weren't on and it didn't look like anyone was inside.

                But she had more important thinking to do.

                "I thought I'd find you here."

                Janelle nearly flew into the water she jumped so high out of her chair. Turning around, she saw Erik standing in the middle of the dock with another chair and a six-pack of Miller Lite. How had she not heard him pull up?

                "Hey, bro," she tried to smile as she walked to him. He set the chair and beer down before wrapping his baby sister in a hug and pulling her close.

                "Hey, sis. I know you probably don't want company right now, but that's just too damn bad now isn't it." He then leaned down, set his chair up by hers, and pulled out a beer for both of them.

                "So I take it you've heard something?"

                "Yea, something that makes me want to fly to New York with my Glock and brass knuckles and have my way with a certain brother-in-law of mine."

                Shaking her head, Janelle placed the beer Erik had given her back in the box. Erik didn't know about her pregnancy yet, neither did her father. She wanted Justin to be the first to know. "I know you want to hear what's going on, Erik, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it yet."

                "That's fine. I have a bottle of Grey Goose and a whole case of beer in the car. We have plenty of alcohol and nothing but time."

                With that the pair of siblings sat in silence, watching as the sun started to set over the lake. The colors of the sky reflected off the water, making it look like red, orange and pink diamonds were floating on the surface. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets she had seen on the lake, and it was coming in a time where she felt her life was the darkest.

                She still could not get the mental picture of Justin having sex with Aimee out of her mind. That's what was haunting her the most. If it had been some random groupie, some random chick that he picked up in a bar, she felt that forgiving him might be a little bit easier. She wouldn't have the mental pictures to deal with, and the heartache wouldn't be as bad. Not only was she betrayed by her husband, she had been betrayed by her best friend also.

                It was truly all she could think about. Was Justin and the way he had to of been touching her. His hands touching places that he should have been touching on her body.

                Did they even use a condom?

                That would be the story of the year for the tabloids. ‘JT gets wife and wife's best friend pregnant at the same time' and ‘Mrs. JT and her best friend both pregnant...by JT himself'. She could picture the frenzy now.

                The only thing that was keeping her from serving him with divorce papers right now was this baby. This baby that they had been hoping and praying for since the day they got married.

                Justin had told her that he didn't want to wait to have kids, that he wasn't getting any younger and they might as well just start trying right way. So a week before their wedding, Janelle went off birth control. They had been diligently trying to get pregnant for three years. Not that having sex with Justin was ever a chore, but they had been getting tired. Trying and trying with no results played with your emotions. Janelle's doctor was worried that she would never be able to have children.

                She had found out for sure the past Wednesday that she was pregnant. She had guessed for about two weeks that she was pregnant. She had taken two home pregnancy tests, both had been positive. So she made an appointment with her gynecologist on Wednesday. Her doctor had proven her suspicions correct.

                So when she received the phone call Thursday night from Justin, saying she needed to come to New York immediately, she had been so excited. She was going to be able to tell them that they were expecting their first child.

                But then she had listened to the way his voice sounded over the phone, and the way he was acting. He hadn't even said ‘I love you' when they hung up. That's when she realized something was desperately wrong, and she was terrified to figure out what it was.

                "Hey Nell, why aren't you drinking your beer? I bought Miller Lite specifically for you, you know I'm a Bud Light kind of guy," her brother said, breaking the silence.

                Wrapping her arms even tighter around her stomach, she turned to look at him. "That's because I can't drink right now, Erik."

                "Why can't you drink? Worried that Justin might get mad at you for drinking without him around? Well hate to break it to you, Nell, but he has no say over what you do. You're with me, your brother, not some random group of guys."

                "No, I physically cannot drink alcohol right now."

                "What, are you not feeling good? The stresses of everything going on right now making you feel sick?" he asked.

                "No, that's not it."

                "Then what is it?"

                Turning away to look out on the lake again, she sighed. This was going to make him so happy but so pissed off at the same time. "I'm pregnant, E."

                "What was that? I swear I just heard you say that you're pregnant, but I know that can't be right because you and Justin were told you probably weren't going to be able to have kids. So what'd you say?"

                "I'm pregnant. About a month along. I was going to tell Justin, surprise him when I went to see him in New York, but we had some other issues to discuss at the time."

                "Pregnant? I'm going to be an uncle?"

                She smiled. "Yea, you're going to be Uncle Erik."

                "Oh my god, is it a boy or a girl? When is it due?"

                "Whoa, whoa...I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. It's going to be due sometime around April. And I just don't know what to do."

                Janelle could feel herself start to cry, and that's when Erik stood up and pulled her from her chair. He sat down and then pulled his baby sister onto his lap like he used to do when they were kids. "So the cheating thing, it's true?"

                "Yea, it's true. He didn't even have to admit it to me, I could see it in his eyes. I couldn't tell if he was relieved or sad that I knew finally, maybe a little bit of both."

                "Do you know who he did it with?"

                Janelle laughed such an evil laugh that she even scared herself, let alone her brother. "Yea, that's the ironic part. He slept with Aimee in New York."

                "Aimee? Aimee, Aimee?"

                Janelle just nodded her head, because the tears that she had been fighting off so hard were returning to her eyes. Erik wrapped his arms around her tighter and started to stroke her hair. Their mother used to do that to them when they were kids and they didn't feel well.

                "So what are you going to do? About the baby and your relationship with Justin?"

                "That's the thing, Erik, I just don't know. I have the biggest decision of my life to make right now, and I have no fucking clue what I'm going to do about it."

 

Stepping out of her rental car, Janelle looked around to a place that brought up so many childhood memories. It was her parents’ lake house in central Michigan, and she had been coming here since the age of 13. They had bought it because Janelle and her brother had begged and begged after visiting some friends that owned a cottage on the same lake. Janelle and Erik had fallen in love with the place and with the people there.

Every summer until Janelle graduated college, she would come here. It was her sanctuary, the place she always knew would be there for her. When her mom had passed, this was the first place that she came. Erik had called her in LA, and without even telling Justin she took a flight into Chicago O’Hare and then drove the two and a half hours to the lake house. She had sat on the end of the dock, staring out into the water and the night sky until she couldn’t hold her head up anymore.

Finally, forced with the onset of exhaustion, she had made her way inside and lay down on the couch in the porch. It had been her mother’s favorite spot, because the porch was surrounded with windows that overlooked the water.

She remembered that Justin had been so worried for her then. He had come over to her apartment because they were supposed to go to dinner, and she was gone. He tried calling her phone hundreds of time that night she sat out on the dock, but she had left it in the car. Finally he had gotten a hold of Erik, and Erik had told him of the tragedy.

He was on his personal jet on his way to Indianapolis within an hour.

He had supported her through the whole ordeal, the preparations for the viewing and the funeral. He had stayed at her childhood home with her, and had been that boyfriend that she had always wished she would find.

After the funeral, Justin and Erik seemed to become the best of friends. Whenever Janelle and Justin would return to Indiana to see Justin’s family, it was like Justin was going to see Erik and not spend time with her. Sometimes it would get on her nerves, but secretly it made her ecstatic that her brother and her boyfriend could get along so well.

Her dad was never the easiest person to get along with, he was intimidating and not the most social man you would ever meet. But once they found out that they both had a fondness for motorcycles and beer, her father started treating him like another son.

Everything had been close to perfect in their lives. She should have known that something bad was due to happen eventually. But all that could go through her mind right now were the good times, and the thought of her growing child.

 

“Ahhh! Justin! Justin stop it! I’m serious!” Janelle yelled as Justin chased her around their living room. Janelle had just moved into his house that day, and she couldn’t have been happier. When he asked her to move in, she honestly could not believe what she was hearing. They were finally going to take their relationship to the next level.

“Oh Ellie…” he taunted, as they faced off on opposite sides of the couch.

She didn’t know if she should turn to the left and run for the stairs and try to make it to their bedroom, or if she should go to the right and run outside. She’d never make it all the way up the stairs and down the hall before he caught up to her, but there was a chance she could make it to the sliding door and get it shut before he could.

But before she had a chance to act on her decision, Justin bounded over the coach and tackled her into the overstuffed arm chair. “Gotcha!” he smiled, and dipped his head in to press his lips to hers.

Moaning at the contact, Janelle wrapped her arms around his shoulders and dug her hands into the short hair at the base of his neck. She loved the way he kissed her; slow, strong, and thorough. She had never had a man kiss her the way Justin did. No man had ever been able to make her lose her train of thought within seconds.

Taking one hand, he slid it up to graze the side of her breast, up her throat and cupper her cheek. He deepened the kiss, gently probing his tongue into her mouth. Lowering himself down all the way, he groaned as his erection settled against her center. He was hard already.

Her hands made their way down to the hem of his shirt, running along the small patch of skin between his undershirt and his boxers. Tracing her way up his thin trail of hair, she lightly circled his belly button then made her way back down. Grasping the fabric of both shirts in her hands, she pushed up until she couldn’t push anymore. Justin took the hint, sat up on his knees while ripping the shirts off over his head. He threw them somewhere across the room before settling fully against her again.

His right hand worked its way down her side, caressing her breast and rubbing small circles on the side of her stomach. Slowly he pushed farther down, until he was grasping her completely through the cotton material of her yoga pants. He groaned to himself, he could feel how wet she was already through two layers of cloth.

Rubbing along her slit, he pressed against her sensitive bud eliciting a gasp of surprise from her. Satisfied with the noise, he worked his hand backup, slipping underneath her shirt. Ho moved up until he was palming her breast under her bra, gently tweaking the nipple with his thumb and forefinger.

He pulled back to look at the woman beneath him and Janelle had never felt such an intense look in her life. She watched as he rolled her pants down far enough to reach it, and arched her back off the chair as he quickly inserted a finger into her dripping center.

“Oh God, Justin. Uhh.”

He set a quickly and steady rhythm with his finger, his thumb working her clit. He kissed up and down her neck, stopping to suckle and bite before soothing the area with his tongue. Cautiously, he added another finger.

“Oh Ellie…you’re so fucking wet, baby. Mmm,” he muttered as he ground himself into the side of her leg. He needed friction, anything pushing against him.

Janelle could feel herself getting close. The things this man could do with his fingers and mouth were indescribable. “Jus…Justin…oh shit, I’m so close…”

Justin sped up even faster, rubbing her clit harder as he tried to get her to her release. “Come for me, Ellie girl, let daddy hear you scream.”

“Faster J, oh harderrrrrr…”

“Mmm El, come on, you feel so good. I can feel you. You’re so close, you wanna come so bad, don’t you?”

“Yes…Justin, shit, shit, shit!”

Justin chuckled a bit as he concentrated on making her fly.

“Oh fuck! FUCK! Justin I’m coming!” she yelled as she felt the fire race from her toes straight through her body to her stomach. She began convulsing, a stream of cuss words flying from her mouth. As she came down from her high, Justin kissed his way up her neck to her lips and pulled his hands out.

“Who know my baby had a mouth like that?”

Janelle had to smile to herself at the memory. She had no clue what had gotten into her that night, all she knew was that she had never been as vocal as she was that night. Maybe it was because they had just moved in to his house, where the closest houses were a quarter mile away. Janelle was used to living in an apartment, where you share half your walls with your neighbors.

After unloading all of her belongings from her car, she brought them into the cottage and placed them in the room she would always take. Walking into the bathroom, she turned on the water pump and water heater. She would want a shower soon and there was no way she was taking one in cold water.

Luckily it was late summer and her dad hadn’t pulled the dock out yet. She grabbed a LaFuma chair and pulled it with her to the end. Placing it on the platform, she climbed in it and leaned back. Looking out over the lake, she ran over the houses of good friends of hers to see who was there. The Reed’s had decided to come up for the weekend, along with the Robertson’s and the Michael’s. She was hoping to see the Easton’s, but their porch lights weren’t on and it didn’t look like anyone was inside.

But she had more important thinking to do.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Janelle nearly flew into the water she jumped so high out of her chair. Turning around, she saw Erik standing in the middle of the dock with another chair and a six-pack of Miller Lite. How had she not heard him pull up?

“Hey, bro,” she tried to smile as she walked to him. He set the chair and beer down before wrapping his baby sister in a hug and pulling her close.

“Hey, sis. I know you probably don’t want company right now, but that’s just too damn bad now isn’t it.” He then leaned down, set his chair up by hers, and pulled out a beer for both of them.

“So I take it you’ve heard something?”

“Yea, something that makes me want to fly to New York with my Glock and brass knuckles and have my way with a certain brother-in-law of mine.”

Shaking her head, Janelle placed the beer Erik had given her back in the box. Erik didn’t know about her pregnancy yet, neither did her father. She wanted Justin to be the first to know. “I know you want to hear what’s going on, Erik, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about it yet.”

“That’s fine. I have a bottle of Grey Goose and a whole case of beer in the car. We have plenty of alcohol and nothing but time.”

With that the pair of siblings sat in silence, watching as the sun started to set over the lake. The colors of the sky reflected off the water, making it look like red, orange and pink diamonds were floating on the surface. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets she had seen on the lake, and it was coming in a time where she felt her life was the darkest.

She still could not get the mental picture of Justin having sex with Aimee out of her mind. That’s what was haunting her the most. If it had been some random groupie, some random chick that he picked up in a bar, she felt that forgiving him might be a little bit easier. She wouldn’t have the mental pictures to deal with, and the heartache wouldn’t be as bad. Not only was she betrayed by her husband, she had been betrayed by her best friend also.

It was truly all she could think about. Was Justin and the way he had to of been touching her. His hands touching places that he should have been touching on her body.

Did they even use a condom?

That would be the story of the year for the tabloids. ‘JT gets wife and wife’s best friend pregnant at the same time’ and ‘Mrs. JT and her best friend both pregnant…by JT himself’. She could picture the frenzy now.

The only thing that was keeping her from serving him with divorce papers right now was this baby. This baby that they had been hoping and praying for since the day they got married.

Justin had told her that he didn’t want to wait to have kids, that he wasn’t getting any younger and they might as well just start trying right way. So a week before their wedding, Janelle went off birth control. They had been diligently trying to get pregnant for three years. Not that having sex with Justin was ever a chore, but they had been getting tired. Trying and trying with no results played with your emotions. Janelle’s doctor was worried that she would never be able to have children.

She had found out for sure the past Wednesday that she was pregnant. She had guessed for about two weeks that she was pregnant. She had taken two home pregnancy tests, both had been positive. So she made an appointment with her gynecologist on Wednesday. Her doctor had proven her suspicions correct.

So when she received the phone call Thursday night from Justin, saying she needed to come to New York immediately, she had been so excited. She was going to be able to tell them that they were expecting their first child.

But then she had listened to the way his voice sounded over the phone, and the way he was acting. He hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ when they hung up. That’s when she realized something was desperately wrong, and she was terrified to figure out what it was.

“Hey Nell, why aren’t you drinking your beer? I bought Miller Lite specifically for you, you know I’m a Bud Light kind of guy,” her brother said, breaking the silence.

Wrapping her arms even tighter around her stomach, she turned to look at him. “That’s because I can’t drink right now, Erik.”

“Why can’t you drink? Worried that Justin might get mad at you for drinking without him around? Well hate to break it to you, Nell, but he has no say over what you do. You’re with me, your brother, not some random group of guys.”

“No, I physically can not drink alcohol right now.”

“What, are you not feeling good? The stress of everything going on right now making you feel sick?” he asked.

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

Turning away to look out on the lake again, she sighed. This was going to make him so happy but so pissed off at the same time. “I’m pregnant, E.”

“What was that? I swear I just heard you say that you’re pregnant, but I know that can’t be right because you and Justin were told you probably weren’t going to be able to have kids. So what’d you say?”

“I’m pregnant. About a month along. I was going to tell Justin, surprise him when I went to see him in New York, but we had some other issues to discuss at the time.”

“Pregnant? I’m going to be an uncle?”

She smiled. “Yea, you’re going to be Uncle Erik.”

“Oh my god, is it a boy or a girl? When is it due?”

“Whoa, whoa…I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. It’s going to be due sometime around April. And I just don’t know what to do.”

Janelle could feel herself start to cry, and that’s when Erik stood up and pulled her from her chair. He sat down and then pulled his baby sister onto his lap like he used to do when they were kids. “So the cheating thing, it’s true?”

“Yea, it’s true. He didn’t even have to admit it to me, I could see it in his eyes. I couldn’t tell if he was relieved or sad that I knew finally, maybe a little bit of both.”

“Do you know who he did it with?”

Janelle laughed such an evil laugh that she even scared herself, let alone her brother. “Yea, that’s the ironic part. He slept with Aimee in New York.”

“Aimee? Aimee, Aimee?”

Janelle just nodded her head, because the tears that she had been fighting off so hard were returning to her eyes. Erik wrapped his arms around her tighter and started to stroke her hair. Their mother used to do that to them when they were kids and they didn’t feel well.

“So what are you going to do? About the baby and your relationship with Justin?”

“That’s the thing, Erik, I just don’t know. I have the biggest decision of my life to make right now, and I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do about it.”

Los Angeles, CA

                Motioning to the bartender for another double Jack on the rocks, Justin ran his finger around the rim of his empty glass. He couldn't remember how many drinks he had had, nor could he remember where he was at.

                All he could think about was Janelle walking out the door of his hotel room that night in New York, not looking back or answering when he told her he loved her. He still remembered her face when she figured out who he had slept with, it haunted his waking thoughts and his dreams. It had been three weeks since she had left him, and she still hadn't called.

                He had tried calling her, but her cell phone was either shut off or she had blocked his number. Being away from her right now was tearing him apart. The fact that she was carrying his child was eating him alive. He wanted to be there for her, through the good and the bad. He wanted to be able to watch her tiny belly grow, with his child inside of it. He wanted to see that "glow" that he had heard pregnant women got. He just wanted to see her.

                He had never regretted anything more in his life, and he had done some stupid things in his 29 years. Yet the funny thing was, he was being honest when he told her he didn't know how everything happened with Aimee. He remembered sitting down in the living room with the two glasses and the bottle of wine. He remembered talking to her about Janelle, and how she wanted to have a child so badly. They had talked a little about his new album, a little about her job, and a little about the crazy things that her and Janelle had done when they were younger. The last thing his mind could recollect was putting the glasses back in the sink and Aimee coming into the kitchen.

                Everything after that was just grey.

                He nodded to the bartender as the man sat another glass of the tan liquid in front of him. Immediately Justin raised the glass to his lips and chugged a solid half of the bitter substance, not ever grimacing as it raced down his throat because he was numb.

                Numb to everything.

                That was what he had been looking to do when he set out to the bar. The pain had been consuming him, and he needed to make it disappear if only for a little while.

                Justin picked up the glass and finished the rest of his drink, nodding for the bartender to fill him up again.

                "Hey man, you okay?" the man behind the bar asked.

                "Fine, just fill the damn drink," Justin spat.

                "Look, you've been here for a while. This is your ninth double shot of Jack. This is your last one man, sorry, but I'm cutting you off."

                "Cutting me off? Do you even know who I AM?" Justin belted out.

                The man shook his head, obviously not pleased that Justin was yelling at him. "I don't live under a rock, man, of course I know who you are. But I'm also not willing to lose my liquor license and my job if you leave here drunk and get in an accident. So last one. Is there anyone you want me to call to come and get you?"

                Grunting, Justin shook his head no. He chugged the last of his drink, and placed enough bills on the bar to more than cover his tab, along with a few other patron's tabs.

                As he got up to leave the bar, a song came on that jarred him still. He had always loved Babyface as a musician. But this was the last song he needed to hear at that moment.

When can my heart beat again

When does the pain ever end

When do the tears stop from running over

When does "you'll get over it" begin

I hear what you're saying

But I swear that it's not making sense

So when can I see you

When can I see you again

When can my heart beat again

When can I see you again

When can I breathe once again

And when can I see you

                The song just threw him back to missing his wife. He had screwed up, royally, and he knew that. But all he wanted was the chance to make everything right. He just wanted to prove to her that he knew what he had done was wrong, and he would show her that he would never make the same mistake twice.

And what if I'm still not truly over

What am I supposed to do then

Do you see what I am saying

Even if, if it's not making sense

So when can I see you...

                He missed her. He missed the way she would play with his curls while they were laying in bed together, twirling his hair between her fingers until he fell asleep. He missed waking up with her in his arms, and he missed seeing her eyes open with love when she woke up. He missed her randomly surprising him at the studio with a cup of coffee or some take-out. He missed the way she said his name while they were making love, and he missed the way she said "I love you".

                He missed everything about his wife.

                Sighing, Justin stepped into the back of the Escalade that Tiny was driving. There were times that he was so happy that he had his bodyguards around, especially at times like this. He knew he was too intoxicated to drive.

 

                Justin paused as he stepped into the backstage area of the Today Show. He was appearing that morning to talk to Regis and Kelly, and he had no clue what dressing room he was put in.

                He jumped on the opportunity to ask someone as he saw a girl walk by him, a pass hanging around her neck, symbolizing her as an employee of the show. "Excuse me, miss, but do you know what dressing room I am in today?"

                When the woman's head jerked up, his breath caught in his throat. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He couldn't take his eyes off her as her gaze connected to his.

                "Um...err...Jus...I mean Mr. Timberlake, you're uh, you're in room three. Shit, I mean four. Yeah, four," she stumbled over her words, obviously embarrassed.

                He smirked at her mumbling, it was actually pretty cute. He was used to girls becoming speechless in front of him, not to sound cocky or anything. But on her, it was intriguing. Working on the Today Show, she should be used to seeing celebrities by now. Unless she was new.

                "And room four would be...where?"

                "Oh! Um, I think it's down the hall, and to your left. I think."

                "You think? Are you new here?"

                "Yeah, can you tell?" she giggled.

                "No, not at all," he said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "How about we both go find it, so we both know where it is for future reference?"

                Leading her down the hall, he laughed to himself. Of course he already knew where room four was, he had been in this studio countless times. "So what's your name? Or are you not going to tell me..."

                "I don't know...should I trust you with my name? Or are you going to tell my boss that I couldn't even show you what dressing room you are in today?"

                Laughing, he shook his head no. "Of course not, we've all been the new guy at some point in time."

                "Well, in that case, my name is Janelle. Janelle Fick."

                "Fick?"

                "Yes, Fick. F-I-C-K," she spelled out.

                "Fick, as in fuck in German?"

                Janelle started laughing so hard her sides were hurting. "How the hell did you know what my name translated to?"

                "Well, ya know, I only spent a few years getting my career off the ground over there with the other guys. We learned a few necessary phrases, like Fick dich, and Du bist eine häβliche Schlampe."

                "Well, thank you for calling me a dirty whore, I never knew you felt that way about people you've just barely met."

                "Ok, how about Du bist ein schönes Mädchen, is that better?"

                "Why yes, much better. Danke schon, du bist sehr nett."

                "Where did you learn to speak German?"

                "My whole family is German, so I took it all through my school."

                "Well Janelle, my lovely new German friend, here is room number four. Will I see you again before I leave today?"

                Janelle nodded. "Actually, I'll be the one to come and get you when your stage time comes around."

                "Well then I'll see you in a little while, Janelle. It was a pleasure meeting you today."

 

                Justin smiled at the memory. She had been so innocent when he met her, it took so many tries for her to agree to going on a date with him. And all they did was go to dinner. But her hesitance was what had drawn him to her even more.

                He knew she wasn't after the Justin Timberlake, she genuinely wanted to get to know him.

He looked up, realizing they had already made it home. He hated being in this house without her here. Justin fumbled with the keys that were in his hand, not able to connect the key to the lock of his front door. After a few mistaken attempts, finally the two connected and he opened the door to his house.

                As soon as he stepped through the threshold, he almost jumped out of his skin at seeing his mother and Trace sitting in the chairs in his living room. He hadn't talked to them since everything had gone wrong with Janelle. He had been conveniently avoiding both of them.

                "Um, can I help you guys?" he mumbled, his head held low. Talk about a buzz kill.

                "Yes, is there anything you need to tell me, Justin? Starting with why you've been ignoring me for the past few weeks?"

                "Um...I don't know, is there?"

                "Don't pull that shit with me, young man. Where is Janelle? What the hell is going on with you right now?"

                He could tell his mom was furious, and Trace was doing nothing to aid him in the situation. He was just sitting in his chair, his gaze drifting back and forth between him and his mother like a tennis match.

                "She's not here."

                "Where is she?" Trace finally decided to jump into the conversation.

                "I don't know, she left me."

                "She WHAT?" they both yelled at the same time. "What the hell did you do?" Trace added.

                "I don't really want to talk about it. It's not a great topic for me right now."

                "Well, you best get past that, because I want to know exactly what you did to my daughter-in-law." Lynn crossed her arms over her chest and gave him the look. The look that meant he had no choice but to tell the two of them what had been going on.

                So he started from the beginning. He told them how he had been missing Janelle in New York, how he had been spending a lot of time with Aimee, and what had happened that fateful night that changed his life. He explained how he didn't remember anything that happened after they had drank that bottle of wine.

                "Justin, you never get drunk off a few glasses of wine. It takes you a little bit more than that. Who poured the wine?" Trace commented.

                "Um..." Justin scratched his head, trying to remember back. "I think it was her. Yeah, it was Aimee. She had come over and I was in my pajamas, so I went to change and she poured the wine."

                "Do you think she could have drugged it?" Lynn asked.

                "Aimee? Why would she drug me?"

                "I don't know, did you ever have an argument with her? Was she mad at Janelle for something? You tell us, Justin, what reasons could she have had?"

                Justin tried to think back if there was anything him or his wife had done to Aimee to make her angry. "I don't think so; I mean Aimee always was resentful of my relationship with Ellie. I guess when they were growing up, Aimee always got the guys and Ellie would just go along with her best friend. But I don't think that's enough for her to do anything to me."

                "It might be, Justin. You never know, I think you might need to have a little chat with Aimee and get this all sorted out," Trace said as he patted Justin on the shoulder. "You need to get Janelle back here. You need her, man. Do you have any clue where she could have gone?"

                "No, and I need her a lot more than you realize right now. There's something else I didn't get to tell you guys."

                "...and?" Lynn waited.

                "When Ellie came to New York to see me, when she found out about the affair, she had something that she needed to tell me. It was the last thing I ever expected her to tell me..." Justin droned off. He was just picturing his future child, would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have his eyes or her hair?

                "What was it Justin?" Trace questioned.

                "Ellie's pregnant." With that comment, he broke down in tears. Sobs wracked his body as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to free the pain from his body.

                Both Trace and Lynn gasped, not knowing what to say.

                "What have I done? How did I do this? How did I lose my family?" he whispered between cries.

Los Angeles, CA

 

Motioning to the bartender for another double Jack on the rocks, Justin ran his finger around the rim of his empty glass. He couldn’t remember how many drinks he had had, nor could he remember where he was at.

All he could think about was Janelle walking out the door of his hotel room that night in New York, not looking back or answering when he told her he loved her. He still remembered her face when she figured out who he had slept with, it haunted his waking thoughts and his dreams. It had been three weeks since she had left him, and she still hadn’t called.

He had tried calling her, but her cell phone was either shut off or she had blocked his number. Being away from her right now was tearing him apart. The fact that she was carrying his child was eating him alive. He wanted to be there for her, through the good and the bad. He wanted to be able to watch her tiny belly grow, with his child inside of it. He wanted to see that “glow” that he had heard pregnant women got. He just wanted to see her.

He had never regretted anything more in his life, and he had done some stupid things in his 29 years. Yet the funny thing was, he was being honest when he told her he didn’t know how everything happened with Aimee. He remembered sitting down in the living room with the two glasses and the bottle of wine. He remembered talking to her about Janelle, and how she wanted to have a child so badly. They had talked a little about his new album, a little about her job, and a little about the crazy things that her and Janelle had done when they were younger. The last thing his mind could recollect was putting the glasses back in the sink and Aimee coming into the kitchen.

Everything after that was just grey.

He nodded to the bartender as the man sat another glass of the tan liquid in front of him. Immediately Justin raised the glass to his lips and chugged a solid have of the bitter substance, not ever grimacing as it raced down his throat because he was numb.

Numb to everything.

That was what he had been looking to do when he set out to the bar. The pain had been consuming him, and he needed to make it disappear if only for a little while.

Justin picked up the glass and finished the rest of his drink, nodding for the bartender to fill him up again.

“Hey man, you okay?” the man behind the bar asked.

“Fine, just fill the damn drink,” Justin spat.

“Look, you’ve been here for a while. This is your ninth double shot of Jack. This is your last one man, sorry, but I’m cutting you off.”

“Cutting me off? Do you even know who I AM?” Justin belted out.

The man shook his head, obviously not pleased that Justin was yelling at him. “I don’t live under a rock, man, of course I know who you are. But I’m also not willing to lose my liquor license and my job if you leave here drunk and get in an accident. So last one. Is there anyone you want me to call to come and get you?”

Grunting, Justin shook his head no. He chugged the last of his drink, and placed enough bills on the bar to more than cover his tab, along with a few other patron’s tabs.

As he got up to leave the bar, a song came on that jarred him still. He had always loved Babyface, as a musician and as a person. But this was the last song he needed to hear at that moment.

When can my heart beat again

When does the pain ever end

When do the tears stop from running over

When does “you’ll get over it” begin

I hear what you’re saying

But I swear that it’s not making sense

So when can I see you

When can I see you again

When can my heart beat again

When can I see you again

When can I breathe once again

And when can I see you

The song just threw him back to missing his wife. He had screwed up, royally, and he knew that. But all he wanted was the chance to make everything right. He just wanted to prove to her that he knew what he had done wrong, and he would show her that he would never make the same mistake twice.

And what if I’m still not truly over

What am I supposed to do then

Do you see what I am saying

Even if, if it’s not making sense

So when can I see you…

He missed her. He missed the way she would play with his curls while they were laying in bed together, twirling his hair between her fingers until he fell asleep. He missed waking up with her in his arms, and he missed seeing her eyes open with love when she woke up. He missed her randomly surprising him at the studio with a cup of coffee or some take-out. He missed the way she said his name while they were making love, and he missed the way she said “I love you”.

He missed everything about his wife.

Sighing, Justin stepped into the back of the Escalade that Tiny was driving. There were times that he was so happy that he had his bodyguards around, especially at times like this. He knew he was too intoxicated to drive.

 

Justin paused as he stepped into the backstage area of the Today Show. He was appearing that morning to talk to Regis and Kelly, and he had no clue what dressing room he was put in.

He jumped on the opportunity to ask someone as he saw a girl walk by him, a pass hanging around her neck, symbolizing her as an employee of the show. “Excuse me, miss, but do you know what dressing room I am in today?”

When the woman’s head jerked up, his breath caught in his throat. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as her gaze connected to his.

“Um…err…Jus…I mean Mr. Timberlake, you’re uh, you’re in room three. Shit, I mean four. Yeah, four,” she stumbled over her words, obviously embarrassed.

He smirked at her mumbling, it was actually pretty cute. He was used to girls becoming speechless in front of him, not to sound cocky or anything. But on her, it was intriguing. Working on the Today Show, she should be used to seeing celebrities by now. Unless she was new.

“And room four would be…where?”

“Oh! Um, I think it’s down the hall, and to your left. I think.”

“You think? Are you new here?”

“Yeah, can you tell?” she giggled.

“No, not at all,” he said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. “How about we both go find it, so we both know where it is for future reference?”

Leading her down the hall, he laughed to himself. Of course he already knew where room four was, he had been in this studio countless times. “So what’s your name? Or are you not going to tell me…”

“I don’t know…should I trust you with my name? Or are you going to tell my boss that I couldn’t even show you what dressing room you are in today?”

Laughing, he shook his head no. “Of course not, we’ve all been the new guy at some point in time.”

“Well, in that case, my name is Janelle. Janelle Fick.”

“Fick?”

“Yes, Fick. F-I-C-K,” she spelled out.

“Fick, as in fuck in German?”

Janelle started laughing so hard her sides were hurting. “How the hell did you know what my name translated to?”

“Well, ya know, I only spent a few years getting my career off the ground over there with the other guys. We learned a few necessary phrases, like Fick dich, and Du bist eine häβliche Schlampe.”

“Well, thank you for calling me a dirty whore, I never knew you felt that way about people you’ve just barely met.”

“Ok, how about Du bist eine schöne Mädchen, is that better?”

“Why yes, much better. Danke schon, du bist sehr nett.”

“Where did you learn to speak German?”

“My whole family is German, so I took it all through my school.”

“Well Janelle, my lovely new German friend, here is room number four. Will I see you again before I leave today?”

Janelle nodded. “Actually, I’ll be the one to come and get you when your stage time comes around.”

“Well then I’ll see you in a little while, Janelle. It was a pleasure meeting you today.”

 

Justin smiled at the memory. She had been so innocent when he met her, it took so many tries for her to agree to going on a date with him. And all they did was go to dinner. But her hesitance was what had drawn him to her even more.

He knew she wasn’t after the Justin Timberlake, she genuinely wanted to get to know him.

He looked up, realizing they had already make it home. He hated being in this house without her here. Justin fumbled with the keys that were in his hand, not able to connect the key to the lock of his front door. After a few mistaken attempts, finally the two connected and he opened the door to his house.

As soon as he stepped through the threshold, he almost jumped out of his skin at seeing his mother and Trace sitting in the chairs in his living room. He hadn’t talked to them since everything had gone wrong with Janelle, he had been conveniently avoiding both of them.

“Um, can I help you guys?” he mumbled, his head held low. Talk about a buzz kill.

“Yes, is there anything you need to tell me, Justin? Starting with why you’ve been ignoring me for the past few weeks?”

“Um…I don’t know, is there?”

“Don’t pull that shit with me, young man. Where is Janelle? What the hell is going on with you right now?”

He could tell his mom was furious, and Trace was doing nothing to aid him in the situation. He was just sitting in his chair, his gaze drifting back and forth between him and his mother like a tennis match.

“She’s not here.”

“Where is she?” Trace finally decided to jump into the conversation.

“I don’t know, she left me.”

“She WHAT?” they both yelled at the same time. “What the hell did you do?” Trace added.

“I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s not a great topic for me right now.”

“Well, you best get past that, because I want to know exactly what you did to my daughter-in-law.” Lynn crossed her arms over her chest and gave him the look. The look that meant he had no choice but to tell the two of them what had been going on.

So he started from the beginning. He told them how he had been missing Janelle in New York, how he had been spending a lot of time with Aimee, and what had happened that fateful night that changed his life. He explained how he didn’t remember anything that happened after they had drank that bottle of wine.

“Justin, you never get drunk off a few glasses of wine. It takes you a little bit more than that. Who poured the wine?” Trace commented.

“Um…” Justin scratched his head, trying to remember back. “I think it was her. Yeah, it was Aimee. She had come over and I was in my pajamas, so I went to change and she pour the wine.”

“Do you think she could have drugged it?” Lynn asked.

“Aimee? Why would she drug me?”

“I don’t know, did you ever have an argument with her? Was she mad at Janelle for something? You tell us, Justin, what reasons could she have had?”

Justin tried to think back if there was anything him or his wife had done to Aimee to make her angry. “I don’t think so, I mean Aimee always was resentful of my relationship with Ellie. I guess when they were growing up, Aimee always got the guys and Ellie would just go along with her best friend. But I don’t think that’s enough for her to do anything to me.”

“It might be, Justin. You never know, I think you might need to have a little chat with Aimee and get this all sorted out,” Trace said as he patted Justin on the shoulder. “You need to get Janelle back here. You need her, man. Do you have any clue where she could have gone?”

“No, and I need her a lot more than you realize right now. There’s something else I didn’t get to tell you guys.”

“…and?” Lynn waited.

“When Ellie came to New York to see me, when she found out about the affair, she had something that she needed to tell me. It was the last thing I ever expected her to tell me…” Justin droned off. He was just picturing his future child, would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have his eyes or her hair?

“What was it Justin?” Trace questioned.

“Ellie’s pregnant.” With that comment, he broke down in tears. Sobs wracked his body as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to free the pain from his body.

Both Trace and Lynn gasped, not knowing what to say.

“What have I done? How did I do this? How did I lose my family?” he whispered between cries.

A Month Later

                "I can't do this anymore, Erik. I need to talk to him, I can't just stay here hiding forever," Janelle spoke to her brother adamantly.

                "But Nell, he had an AFFAIR on you! With your best friend! You're just going to go back to him like he didn't do anything wrong?"

                "Damn it, E! I know he fucked up! But I'm also carrying his child, and doesn't he deserve to be around for that? I'm over two months along; I need to start going to classes and start getting things in order for this pregnancy. There's things that I need to get done, things that Justin needs to be around for."

                "But I can do those things for you; you don't need Justin for it."

                "Yes, I do! It is his child! Look, I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about this. I've made up my mind, I need to go to LA and talk to him about this. He needs to be around for what is going on. It doesn't mean that are relationship is ok, it doesn't mean that I've forgiven him, but I'm not going to deprive him of these experiences."

                "Nell..."

                "NO! Just put my bag in the car and drive me to the airport."

                Sighing, Erik hefted the few suitcases his sister had kept at their family's lake house and loaded them into the back of his BMW SUV. What she was doing, he didn't believe it was the right thing. After what Justin had done to her, he had no right to be anywhere near Janelle or their baby. Janelle could make it just fine without Justin; he would take care of his baby sister.

                Not to mention the fact that when their father finds out she went back to California, he's going to go completely ape shit. He had to keep their father from flying to California to kick Justin's ass after he found out what had perspired.

                He just didn't feel right about it. Justin had never called, never tried to come find her. What kind of husband leaves his pregnant wife to just survive on her own? What kind of husband would just let her go? It was a question he needed to know the answer to.

                "Hey Nell, can you answer one question for me?" he asked as they both climbed into the vehicle.

                "What?"

                "Why did Justin never call? Why did he never come to Indiana to look for you? He should have known that the first place you would go to is home."

                "Because I told him not to. I told him I needed time to think, time to figure out what to do with our relationship. I needed that time without him calling and saying things to me to get me to come back. He knows he has me wrapped around his finger. I'm surprised he actually listened to me."

                "Ok. So have you decided about what you're going to do, ya know, about the marriage?"

                "No."

                "What?"

                "I said no. I have no clue what I'm going to do yet. I need to talk to him, face to face. I know he can't lie to me." Shaking her head, she thought about how much she was dreading the conversation she was going to have to face when she got back to LA.

                The rest of the ride to O'Hare was silent, leaving the siblings to their own thoughts. Janelle's mind was racing with the different scenarios of what could happen when she returned. She wondered if he had told his mom about her pregnancy, and if the tabloids had gotten a hold of his infidelity. She had been avoiding all public places, making Erik go to the grocery store for her and spending the rest of her time on the lake.

                She had thought everything through, forwards and backwards. She had thought of all her options, and played each one out in her mind. But no matter what route she went, she still would wind up in pain. That's why she hadn't made up her mind yet. She was torn between keeping herself sane by walking away from Justin, and keeping her future son or daughter happy by staying with their father. She loved him, which was something that she knew for sure. But she just wasn't positive that she could mentally forgive him for what he had done.

                As they pulled up to the drop-off area, Janelle piled her cell phone and other belongings into her carry-on.

                "Ok, Nell, call me when you land out there, alright? Do you want me to come in and sit with you in the terminal...just in case?"

                "It's fine, I'm going to go sit in the VIP lounge. J and I have been in here enough that they know me by face," Janelle said, handing her checked luggage to the man waiting with a cart. "American Airlines, direct to LA." The man nodded and rolled away with the suitcases after handing her the claim tags.

                "Alright, be safe. Call me if you need anything."

                Janelle nodded before saying bye and walking into the airport to check in. After settling into a seat in the VIP lounge, she placed her iPod on random and placed her headphones comfortably in her ears.

It's strange to think the songs we used to sing

The smiles, the flowers, everything...is gone

Yesterday I found out about you

Even now just looking at you...feels wrong

You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes

 

You should've said no, you should have gone home

You should have thought twice before you let it all go

You should have known that word of what you did with her

Would get back to me

And I should've been there in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet

You should've said no and baby you might still have me

 

You can see that I've been crying

And baby you know all the right things to say

But do you honestly expect me to believe

That we could ever be the same

You say that the past is the past, you need one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...

 

                Coincidental song to come on her iPod right now. If only Justin had said no, if only he had kept her on his mind.

                Things had still been rough for Justin. He kept going over that night with Aimee in his head, over and over again, trying to figure out what had happened. He had called Aimee multiple times and had received the same answer: "We fucked, Justin. Get over it."

                But something about that night was still unsettling to him. Something didn't quite feel right about the way he had been told things happened. Something just felt off.

                He loved Janelle with all of his heart, and he knew he would never do anything to hurt her intentionally. He loved their unborn child that he knew that she was carrying right now, and wished he could be there to watch the pregnancy progress.

                His mother had all but quit talking to him. She only would ask him if he had heard from Janelle, and then she would ignore him again. She was pissed and he understood her reasons completely. Trace, well...Trace didn't know what to do it seems. Trace loves Janelle like a sister, yet Justin is his best friend. He's caught between a rock and a hard place and is stuck on which way to go.

                Justin had all but given up hope. This morning he had decided that he was going to fly back to Janelle's hometown and see if her brother would give up any information about where she is. Not being able to hear from her or speak to her was hurting him more than he had expected, and he couldn't respect her wishes to leave her be any longer.

                He had booked a flight into Chicago, and was packing his bags when the doorbell rang. Cursing to himself, he stomped his way down the stairs and yanked the front door open, ready to lash out at whatever person just happened to be standing on the other side of the door.

                Yet the last person he ever dreamed would be there was standing right in front of him.

                "Ellie?"

                "Hi, Justin."

A Month Later

 

                “I can’t do this anymore, Erik. I need to talk to him, I can’t just stay here hiding forever,” Janelle spoke to her brother adamantly.

                “But Nell, he had an AFFAIR on you! With your best friend! You’re just going to go back to him like he didn’t do anything wrong?”

                “Damn it, E! I know he fucked up! But I’m also carrying his child, doesn’t he deserve to be around for that? I’m almost three months along, I need to start going to classes and start getting things in order for this pregnancy. There’s things that I need to get done, things that Justin needs to be around for.”

                “But I can do those things for you; you don’t need Justin for it.”

                “Yes, I do! It is his child! Look, I’m not going to sit here and argue with you about this. I’ve made up my mind, I need to go to LA and talk to him about this. He needs to be around for what is going on. It doesn’t mean that are relationship is ok, it doesn’t mean that I’ve forgiven him, but I’m not going to deprive him of these experiences.”

                “Nell…”

                “NO! Just put my bag in the car and drive me to the airport.”

                Sighing, Erik hefted the few suitcases his sister had kept at their family’s lake house and loaded them into the back of his BMW SUV. What she was doing, he didn’t believe it was the right thing. After what Justin had done to her, he had no right to be anywhere near Janelle or their baby. Janelle could make it just fine without him, he would take care of his baby sister.

                Not to mention the fact that when their father finds out she went back to California, he’s going to go completely ape shit. He had to keep their father from flying to California to kick Justin’s ass after he found out what had perspired.

                He just didn’t feel right about it. Justin had never called, never tried to come find her. What kind of husband leaves his pregnant wife to just survive on her own? What kind of husband would just let her go? It was a question he needed to know the answer to.

                “Hey Nell, can you answer one question for me?” he asked as they both climbed into the vehicle.

                “What?”

                “Why did Justin never call? Why did he never come to Indiana to look for you? He should have known that the first place you would go to is home.”

                “Because I told him not to. I told him I needed time to think, time to figure out what to do with our relationship. I needed that time without him calling and saying things to me to get me to come back. He knows he has me wrapped around his finger. I’m surprised he actually listened to me.”

                “Ok. So have you decided about what you’re going to do, ya know, about the marriage?”

                “No.”

                “What?”

                “I said no. I have no clue what I’m going to do yet. I need to talk to him, face to face. I know he can’t lie to me.” Shaking her head, she thought about how much she was dreading the conversation she was going to have to face when she got back to LA.

                The rest of the ride to O’Hare was silent, leaving the siblings to their own thoughts. Janelle’s mind was racing with the different scenarios of what could happen when she returned. She wondered if he had told his mom about her pregnancy, and if the tabloids had gotten a hold of his infidelity. She had been avoiding all public places, making Erik go to the grocery store for her and spending the rest of her time on the lake.

                She had thought everything through, forwards and backwards. She had thought of all her options, and played each one out in her mind. But no matter what route she went, she still would wind up in pain. That’s why she hadn’t made up her mind yet. She was torn between keeping herself sane by walking away from Justin, and keeping her future son or daughter happy by staying with their father.

                As they pulled up to the drop-off area, Janelle piled her cell phone and other belongings into her carry-on.

                “Ok, Nell, call me when you land out there, alright? Do you want me to come in and sit with you in the terminal…just in case?”

                “It’s fine, I’m going to go sit in the VIP lounge. J and I have been in here enough that they know me by face,” Janelle said, handing her checked luggage to the man waiting with a cart. “American Airlines, direct to LA.” The man nodded and rolled away with the suitcases after handing her the claim tags.

                “Alright, be safe. Call me if you need anything.”

                Janelle nodded before saying bye and walking into the airport to check in. After settling into a seat in the VIP lounge, she placed her iPod on random and placed her headphones comfortably in her ears.

It’s strange to think the songs we used to sing

The smiles, the flowers, everything…is gone

Yesterday I found out about you

Even now just looking at you…feels wrong

You say that you’d take it all back, given one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes

 

You should’ve said no, you should have gone home

You should have thought twice before you let it all go

You should have known that word of what you did with her

Would get back to me

And I should’ve been there in the back of your mind

I shouldn’t be asking myself why

You shouldn’t be begging for forgiveness at my feet

You should’ve said no and baby you might still have me

 

You can see that I’ve been crying

And baby you know all the right things to say

But do you honestly expect me to believe

That we could ever be the same

You say that the past is the past, you need one chance

It was a moment of weakness and you said yes…

 

                Coincidental song to come on her iPod right now. If only Justin had said no, if only he had kept her on his mind.

               

                Things had still been rough for Justin. He kept going over that night with Aimee in his head, over and over again, trying to figure out what had happened. He had called Aimee multiple times and had received the same answer: “We fucked, Justin. Get over it.”

                But something about that night was still unsettling to him. Something didn’t quite feel right about the way he had been told things happened. Something just felt off.

                He loved Janelle with all of his heart, and he knew he would never do anything to hurt her intentionally. He loved their unborn child that he knew that she was carrying right now, and wished he could be there to watch the pregnancy progress.

                His mother had all but quit talking to him. She only would ask him if he had heard from Janelle, and then she would ignore him again. She was pissed and he understood her reasons completely. Trace, well…Trace didn’t know what to do it seems. Trace loves Janelle like a sister, yet Justin is his best friend. He’s caught between a rock and a hard place and is stuck on which way to go.

                Justin had all but given up hope. This morning he had decided that he was going to fly back to Janelle’s hometown and see if her brother would give up any information about where she is. Not being able to hear from her or speak to her was hurting him more than he had expected, and he couldn’t respect her wishes to leave her be any longer.

                He had booked a flight into Chicago, and was packing his bags when the doorbell rang. Cursing to himself, he stomped his way down the stairs and yanked the front door open, ready to lash out at whatever person just happened to be standing on the other side of the door.

                Yet the last person he ever dreamed would be there, was standing right in front of him.

                “Ellie?”

                “Hi, Justin.”

                She was unsure of herself again. Was she making the right decision? She assumed, well, she was pretty sure, that she had figured out what happened between Aimee and her husband. It took her a while, because she wanted to believe that someone that she considered her best friend for years would never do something like this. But on the other hand, being best friends for so long meant that Janelle knew exactly how manipulative Aimee could be when there was something that she wanted yet couldn't have.

                Her flight back to LA awakened things in her, things she should have thought about sooner than the present moment. It just seemed impossible, that her husband would simply fall into bed with her best friend. She knew Justin. And she knew Aimee. And that small thing that never added up to her when she found out finally clicked. That was how she knew she was making the right decision coming back to speak with him.

                She nodded her head at the man still standing shocked in the doorway. She brushed past him into the foyer, still unsure of how to begin the conversation. She leaned her suitcase against the wall and placed her purse on top of the entry table.

                She still didn't know how their future together would play out, but she was sure that there would be a future between them. That was not a question, because the child growing inside of her needed both his or her mother AND his or her father. Not one or the other. She just wasn't sure how her child would know his or her parents, together or divorced.

                Sighing, she dragged her tired feet and mind into the living room, eyeballing her favorite overstuffed chair in the corner. It used to be her favorite place in the house. It was so comfortable that you simply sank right into the cushions, and it was the best spot for curling up with a good book. It was right next to the window, allowing sunlight during the day, and had a reading lamp on the table beside it for at night. She quickly walked to the chair and sank into it, relishing in the good memories it brought her. Memories of her and Justin squeezing together into the chair, him scribbling random things in his leather journal and her reading whatever new book series that had caught her eye.

                Janelle looked up to her husband and nodded for him to sit down on the couch closest to her. It was time that they started this much needed conversation, although neither knew the words to say.

                "Look, Ellie...I don't know what's going to happen here, but I just want you to know something. I love you. I love the child that you have growing inside of you even though I have yet to meet him or her. I know I screwed up. I know I screwed up big time. My mom won't talk to me right now, unless it's to ask about you. Trace doesn't know what to say to me, because he agrees with my mom. I'm losing my entire life here, and I don't know the damnedest way to make it right again. I don't know how to bring us back to the way we used to be."

                "That's the thing, Justin. It will never go back to the way it was before all this. I don't think I will ever be able to forget this, able to get the image of you and her out of my head. It's burned there, probably permanently."

                Justin cringed. He knew that she would say something along those lines, because he had learned some things while she was gone. If the roles were reversed, he wasn't sure he could ever forget the image of his Ellie in the arms of another man. "What are you trying to say, Janelle?" He was barely able to keep his voice from cracking, because he was terrified of her answer. Did she come here just to tell him in person that she was going to divorce him? No, because she wouldn't have brought her suitcase. But she may have brought it so that she could stay in LA while the papers were drawn by a lawyer. But she wouldn't have brought the suitcase inside if she wasn't going to stay here. Damnit, he didn't know what to think. She held his heart and his life in her hands, that fact had never changed even with this whole mess.

                Shaking her head, she looked at him. "I'm not quite sure what I mean. I know this baby needs a father, and a mother. I know that I still love you, despite this ordeal. But I'm just not sure love is enough to get us through this."

                "Love IS enough. I know that the love I have for you will keep me wanting you every day for the rest of my life. I know that my love for you will be my motivation to help you get past this, to help you heal from this. I will use every ounce of love and passion and determination in my body to make you see that you can trust me again, to rebuild our relationship even if it takes the rest of my life."

                She nodded, the tears coming to her eyes. His voice was laced with the love and desperation that he felt, that much she knew. It was enough to shake her to her core. She knew that he was always a passionate person, but to have so much passion directed at her at one time was a little overwhelming. "Justin...we need to talk about something before we continue the conversation concerning our relationship."

                "Anything at all. What do you need us to talk about?"

                "Aimee."

                That name was enough to stop him in his tracks. He had tried so hard to remember more about that night, and he had tried even harder to get her to tell him her side of the story. But he always ended up with the same nonchalant answer from her.

                "Justin, we need to talk about that night. You need to tell me everything you remember again. The last time we talked about this, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to really comprehend everything you were saying."

                Nodding, he began his story.

                Justin was exhausted. It took everything he had to walk from his front door to the couch in the living room. He loved recording, loved making music for everyone to hear. He loved the feeling of being in the studio and creating a record from nothing.

                But it was absolutely exhausting sometimes. Being a perfectionist was bittersweet.

                He ran his hand over his face, looked down at the clothes that he had been wearing for almost 24 hours, and stood up. He desperately needed a shower. Without thinking, he drug himself down the hallway, stripping his worn clothes off along the way.

                After a long, hot shower and a new set of sweat pants, Justin relaxed back into the same place on the couch again. He missed his wife. It had been so long since he had seen her, felt her next to him in bed, and kissed her. This was one of the only drawbacks of being in the industry that he was in - the time he was forced to spend away from his loved ones. He had been in the industry for years, but it still never got any easier being away. Especially now that he was married. What he wouldn't give at that moment to have Janelle, his Ellie, in his arms.

                Ellie was more than his wife. That was how he knew she was the one that he was going to marry one day. She was his lover, but more importantly, she was his best friend. It was an easy decision to make, marrying her. He knew that there would never be a time when he would grow sick of being near her, because she was his best friend first and foremost. Even when they were old and wrinkly, they would still have that friendship to fall back on and keep them surviving together.

                A knock at the door drew him out of his thoughts. Looking at the clock on the entertainment center, he wondered who would be knocking at his door at almost 2:00 in the morning.

                Begrudgingly he stood and stumbled to the door, his body wanting to give out on him. Squinting through the peephole, he saw Aimee on the other side. She looked like a mess. Twisting the deadbolt and then the handle, he opened the door. "Aimee? What are you doing her so late?"

                "I'm sorry to bug you, Justin. But I really just need to have some company right now. It's been a long day, and I brought wine!" she attempted a grin, holding up a bottle of pinot noir. "Come on...it's a pinot from Napa Valley...you know you want some!"

                He smirked. He didn't always care for his wife's best friend, but she seemed to really need a friend. He opened the door a bit wider to allow her to enter, while realizing at the same time how little he was wearing.

                "Go ahead into the kitchen at crack that bottle open. You know where the corkscrew and glasses are. I'm going to go grab a shirt."

                As he turned to walk toward the bedroom, he barely noticed Aimee eying his chest up and down. The feeling was nothing new, plenty of women had ogled him before. He worked hard to keep the body that he had, and it was nice to be appreciated for the work he had done. But it just didn't feel right coming from Aimee.

                "Yeah, yeah, Justin. Not like I've never seen it before, but whatever makes your cookie crumble."

                Hurrying down the hall, Justin threw on a sweatshirt and changed into jeans before walking back into the living room. Aimee was already seated, sipping from a glass, with another glass filled and sitting on the coffee table. He picked it up before sitting in the arm chair, keeping a respectful distance between the two. "So what's the matter, Aimee? Couldn't get a hold of Tim or any of the guys to go out tonight?"

                "Pretty much, because Tim was in the studio with you, dumbass," Aimee griped.

                "Oh, yeah, you're right," Justin laughed, remembering Tim was the reason he spent such a long day in the studio. "So what's running through your mind?" he asked while talking a large sip of wine. She sure knew how to get his attention; this wine was his absolute favorite. Ever since he and Janelle had spent two weeks in Northern California touring different wineries, he had been addicted to this brand in his hand.

                "I don't know. My mind is running in circles and I just don't know where to go with all these thoughts."

                "Why didn't you call Janelle?"

                "Because she's always busy whenever I call her, running this or working on that. I feel like she never has any time to talk to me anymore."

                "That's not true and you know it, Aimee. You are the closest thing that she has to a sister."

                "Yeah, but that doesn't mean she always has time to talk." Aimee was complaining, and Justin needed to keep drinking to be able to handle this conversation. He brought his glass back to his lips only to realize there was nothing left in it. Had he already drank the entire glass? His mind was starting to become fuzzy, and he forced himself to set the glass down on the table before focusing back on what the woman across from him was saying.

                "Justin! Are you even listening? Ugh, I shouldn't have come here."

                "N...no, I'm listening. I just don't feel well right now. My head is kind of spinning." Shaking his head, Justin tried to clear his thoughts. It had to have just been the long day in the studio.

                "Oh, well do you want me to let you go to sleep? I mean, I could always just meet you tomorrow to talk about all this." She sounded so innocent and caring, almost too innocent. "Here, let me help you into bed."

                Justin nodded, allowing her to grab his bicep to help him stand. He stumbled down the hallway toward the bedroom but never remembered making it to the bed.

                The next thing he knew, he was waking up to the sun shining in his face. His head was pounding and his stomach wasn't feeling much better. What the hell happened to him last night?

                Rolling over to go to the restroom, his hand came across something warm. And bare. Bare skin, that is. That's not right, Janelle's in Los Angeles, he thought. Then he looked up to see the face of his wife's best friend looking back at him.

                Shit.

               

                As he finished his tale, he looked at Janelle. "That's all I remember. The time between stumbling down the hall and waking up in the morning is completely blank, Janelle. I don't remember a thing."

                "Then how do you know that you slept with her?"

                Cringing, he prepared to answer her. There was no point in lying; she needed to know the complete truth if there was any hope in them resolving this. "I know because we were both naked when I woke up. There was an opened condom wrapper on the night stand and a used condom on the floor. What else could have happened?"

                Janelle sat there, still unsure of the situation. The honest eyes of her husband burned into her own. Growing up in the limelight like he had, he was bred to lie. He was taught how to say the right thing in public, while using the right tone of voice, to keep his image intact. But the one thing that he had never been able to do was seal a lie with his eyes. The truth always came through there, at least to her. And right now, she could tell that he wasn't lying. She could also tell that he was breaking down inside, similar to the pain that she had been dealing with the past month.

                "I came back here for a reason, Justin. Our child needs both of its parents. And I truly hope that our child gets to grow up having both of its parents in one house. But there are things that we need to work out before we can go forward, understand?"

                "Of course. I swear Ellie, anything you want me to do, I'll do it. I promise."

                Ellie shook her head, the words sounding ironic as they bounced around in her head. "That's the thing, Justin, I don't trust your promises to me right now. You broke the one promise between us that meant the most to me - your vows."

                "But I promise to make it right! I will never make the same mistake again!" Justin pleaded, grabbing her hands and getting down on his knees before her in the chair. "Just give me the chance, Ellie-girl. You know what we have between us is real, it's meant to last forever."

                Her hands trembled. Maybe love ISN'T enough. Her heart wanted nothing more than to take Justin into her arms and forget this entire mess. Her heart wanted to move on as if nothing had happened because it was aching without Justin near her. But her mind was playing devil's advocate, saying that if he's done it once, he's bound to do it again. And the contradiction between the two was driving her crazy.

                "Maybe...maybe I came back too soon. I don't know if I can deal with all of this yet, and the stress isn't good for the baby." Janelle stood up, having to forcefully pull her hands from his as she began to walk away.

                "What are you saying?"

                "I'm saying...that I came here to try. To try to see if I could be around you, and push the things that have happened from my mind. But now I'm not so sure that I can."

                Justin shook his head, still kneeling on the floor. Could this really be happening? Was the joy that had overtaken his body when he saw her at the front door going to be gone so soon? He was frozen as he watched her walk toward the door, picking up her purse and her suitcase along the way. "You're not even going to give it a chance? You've been her for all of 15 minutes. How can you know that you can't get past those feelings in that short of a time?" He was trying not to get angry, but damnit, she wasn't even trying here!

                She paused before the front door. "I did give it a chance. I can't do it."

                "Don't do this, Janelle! If you walk out that door, we will never have the chance to fix this! I know it's hard right now, but it will get easier with time! It will get easier as I prove myself again to you!" He was scrambling now, trying to get up off his knees and to the front door before she could open it and walk out.

                "I'm sorry, Justin. I love you."

                And she was gone. Again.

                He didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the front door, willing Janelle to walk back in. It was a mind game that he shouldn't have been playing, because he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. He had made the one mistake that could never be forgiven, at least in the eyes of his wife. Hearing noises coming from his right, he turned and looked toward the kitchen entryway.

                "Momma?"

                "Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I came in through the garage a minute or two after she got here. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was just going to drop off these groceries I got you and then leave again. But I needed to make sure that everything was going to be ok for the two of you."

                "Well it's not, mom. I guess this means it's over."

                "Not necessarily, baby. Just because she couldn't do this now, doesn't mean that she won't be able to work past it in the future. It still hurts for her. I remember when your father and I got divorced all those years ago, it was painful. Your father had found someone new, and it was the worst pain imaginable when I had to see the two of them together. But time heals all wounds, Justin. I didn't bring that up because I think that you and Janelle are going to end in divorce. I brought it up because I need you to understand that the pain she is feeling will eventually weaken. Especially with how much she needs you. That girl is fighting a battle between her head and her heart. And her heart will win. You just need to give it time."

                Justin shook his head. "But how much more time? I've given her over a month. I know I hurt her, but in reality it wasn't my fault! That bitch drugged me! If I didn't care about the press, I'd file rape charges against her!"

                "I know. And if you were anybody else, I'd tell you to. But you're not anybody else. You're my son, and my son has the will and determination that will get him beyond this."

                "I know."

                "Do you?"

                "Yes, momma. I do. I know that I can get past this. I just want that time to be now, and not later."

                "Then go get her, you idiot! If you haven't noticed, the sound of a car starting has not been heard yet. That means she's either still standing on that porch, or sitting in her car. Probably fighting that battle between her head and her heart. I'm betting that after seeing you just now, her heart is starting to win out."

                As if on cue, the front door was thrown open, creating a loud crash as it hit the wall behind it.

"Justin?" her voice sounded frantic as it called out to him. He could hear the tears in it.

"Ellie? Baby?" Justin jogged to the door, where she stood. Tears were pouring down her face, creating streaks of mascara.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I can do this! I can't live without you. I can't go through this pregnancy without you! I need you beside me!" Janelle's speech was slurred, her words pushing together because of the sobs that were coming out of her throat.

"Shhh, it's ok, it's ok," he kept repeating, as he held her close and stroked her hair. "I know baby, I need you so much too. Just calm down, we're together. That's all that matters."

Janelle hiccupped between sobs and attempted to calm herself down. "I know that you didn't sleep with her on purpose. I know that for a fact. And I will eventually get over that. Just please, be patient with me."

"Anything, baby."

"And tell me that you love me."

"I love you, Janelle Timberlake."

"And I love you, Justin."

Quietly, so quiet it was barely audible, Justin began singing. It was the song that he had sang for her on their wedding night. A promise that he was making again, and this time it would not be broken.

               

Whenever I'm weary

From the battles that rage in my head

You make sense of madness

When my sanity hangs by a thread

I lose my way, but still you

Seem to understand

Now and forever

I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you

Too caught up in me to see

I'm holding a fortune

That heaven has given to me

I'll try to show you

Each and every way I can

Now and forever

I will be your man

Now I can rest my worries

And always be sure

That I won't be alone anymore

If only I'd known you were there

All the time...

All this time...

Until the day the ocean

Doesn't touch the sand

Now and forever

I will be your man