This story is very good.  And I like the way it's written.  It has an original plot line.  It's muy caliente. It's culturally mixed.  And did I mention that it's muy caliente?

You shouldn't be hung up too much on whether or not your writing sucks.  As writers, we all have moments when we don't think our stuff is good enough for someone to want to continue reading it.  We might get hung up reading a fellow author's stories and wish that ours could flow like theirs, or wish that we could have conveyed that same emotion like they were able to. But all that's a matter of writing style...And we all have our own unique styles...Which makes the diversity here so great.

Unfortunately, we are our own worst critics when it comes to our own writings and it takes being a "feedback whore" to give us that extra push we need to keep going sometimes. lol

But if you enjoy writing...Then just keep writing.  Feedback or not (although feedback is definitely my crack lol).  If at the end of the day just one person likes your work then you have achieved something. If you can make us see what your imagination sees...If you can make us feel what your characters are feeling...If you can trasnport us from the front of our computer screens into the middle of your story like we are actually there?  Then that's all you need to know that your writing is good enough to continue.

I will stop babbling LOL...That was my long drawn out way of basically telling you that you are a good writer and to not worry so much and continue to do what you love to do. =D