“If its ok with you guys,” JC said as he looked over at Chris, Lance, and Joey. They had been there for a few hours all ready and he could tell that all they wanted to do was to get some food and then go back to the hotel. It was dark outside all ready and he knew that the fading daylight was taking its toll on their moods.

“’Course man,” Joey replied with a smile.

“Have you heard yourself sing? You deserve it,” Chris replied.

JC blushed but smiled. Justin grinned and nudged him in the side. Justin knew that he had a good voice, he constantly reminded the others (of course he was only teasing), but he didn’t know it was good enough to sing lead. And he was singing lead with JC, his best friend, his older brother, his role model. If they had to pick one person to lead he’d pick JC in an instant. As Justin told him many times before JC could “out sing anybody in the whole damn world.” JC never believed anyone when they told him that. Justin just thought he was fishing for attention but he finally found out that JC truly thought he could be better than he all ready was.

Ummm, wouldn’t he (JC) really know that he’s that good of a singer? I mean Chris was right, he really hadn’t heard himself sing. LOL. He is really one of the most underrated singers in Hollywood. But anyways, I love this chapter because it keeps me puzzled whether Mack has feelings for JC or what. And the Lou and photoshoot part, it is really getting to show up the real color of Lou Pearlman. I hate him. He makes himself intimidating. That’s why the boys cannot come to him to talk about something in some way or another. I really need to finish this story. I just love it ‘cause I love *NSYNC so much and I get more and more information about them and around them. Thanks. You really research. Good job on this. :D

It's an okay story. It's workable and has potential. A few grammatical errors here and there but overall proof-read well. There is no point-of-view confusion or tense confusion either. Also plus points for writing in the third person perspective.

I have yet to see how the premise goes because not much is let on by the first chapter. Though it centers around a pivotal moment between who the reader assumes as the central characters it doesn't set the tone of the story aside from the telling 'I hope I won't regret this.' 

Just a few formalistic points though~ Be careful not to confuse the dialogue of Justin with Mack. Sometimes he sounds like a girl which might confuse his character development. Also you tend to 'say' rather than 'show' what's going on with the characters. This means that the narration reads more like a statement of fact and not a moving picture translated into words.

Keep working on your story :) Good luck writing the next chapter o/

Ps. If you're interested in reading well-done fan fiction, some writers to read include following glowbug917, katethegreat, somethingblue42, meganmonster, mere, hollie, westernway, Timberlake, d_simplicity, a_moments_grace and mixtapeforafool