I stayed up until 3 am last night reading your story. I couldn't stop reading; your style reads really well. I admit, the jumping around confused me at first but now it's part of the experience. I used to write fan fiction about 10/12 years ago. Now I want to do it again after reading this! I like how feasible most of it seems; it doesn't seem exaggerated. 

(I came up with this username long before I read this. but it seems kind of ironic now :p)