A Million Faces in a Crowd
Chapter 24.
JC blinked, the sunlight seeping through his room, blinding him slightly. He burrowed further into the covers of his bed, snuggling up closer to his bed mate. Suddenly, he felt himself smiling. It felt so good to have her in his house, in his bed. Carly fit for some reason and made him feel things of permanence. He let himself briefly wonder what it’d be like to wake up to her every morning. But that would require her moving to L.A.
Hadn’t they had this conversation before? He knew she was set on her loft in Chicago but if they were going to be together, wasn’t that the next step? He pondered for a second, wondering, contemplating.. Would he ever move to Chicago?
He wanted to be with Carly, he just didn’t want to dissect everything right this second.
Leaning softly over her, he kissed the exposed skin of her shoulder, just happy to feel her somehow. He needed to keep his mind on other things. Something told him it’d never be the right time to discuss long-term details with Carly and that thought scared him a little bit. Would she ever be ready? Was fighting so hard for them worth it?
New subject, he told himself. His mind was already on overload, with the conversation they’d had last night. Happy they had made progress, he still had his mind on other things. The guilty thought that he’d passed up important details with his album had come haunting back at him.
The business side of JC would never compromise his career. Somewhere along the lines, Carly had stepped up and taken the place of that. Still, he wondered if he had made a huge mistake. He wanted to try the whole music thing once again, remembering what it was like to able to share his music with the world. To be able to perform night after night and just get lost in the music. It was a good life but he wondered if he had it in him. Easily, he slipped away from Carly and padded across his room, cell phone in toe.
Dialing, he waited for Matt to answer.
“Hello?”
“Matt, it’s JC.”
“Hey, man. How’s Carly?”
He looked over at her sleeping form. “She’s good. Look, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I just couldn’t leave her.”
Matt nodded, even though JC couldn’t see him. “I understand.” he said, his voice low.
“Did I fuck things up?” JC asked, holding his breath.
“Well, it wasn’t good on my behalf. The people backing me weren’t impressed.”
JC hung his head low, immediately wanting to slap himself. “Is it fixable?”
“I think so. They want you to start recording tracks soon.”
“Recording? Already?”
“Yeah. At least by next week.”
“Shit.” JC gasped. This was happening faster than he thought.
“Yeah man. I need you to be sure this is what you want.”
JC bit his lip, looking back at Carly as she stirred. He tried to keep his voice down. “I think so. I just don’t know if I have what it takes to do this again.”
“JC, your insane. I’ve listened to every damn track on your computer that you have harbored up. I’m one hundred and fifty percent sure that your fans will go nuts. You owe it to the music world.”
“It might not be like before.”
“Or it could be better.” Matt reminded him.
“Yeah. You’re right. I just don’t know where the hell my life is going right now.”
“What’s that suppose to mean, JC?”
He sighed, walking over to gaze out at the view from his bedroom window. “I don’t know if this is what I want man. I mean, I’m getting older. A part of me wants to settle down while the other part of me keeps saying I’d be stupid not to try this one more time.”
Matt was quiet for a moment. “I think you should try it. There’s always time to settle down. You’re life is now. You’ve got the talent.”
“You’re not seeing what I’m saying, Matt.”
Letting out a deep breath, Matt chose his words carefully. “No, I see what you’re saying, JC. I think you need to take a day or two and lay everything out and decide if this is what you want because I’d hate to go through hell for you and have you back out. I mean a part of me would understand but my ass is on the line for this record deal.”
“I know. You’re right. I’m really sorry about this. This is the first time I’ve ever second guessed anything that had to do with music.”
Matt laughed. “Dang old man, you really are growing up.”
“Thanks, ass. Last time I checked we were about the same age.”
“Yeah whatever. Are you sure a certain someone didn’t influence these thoughts?”
JC rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, asshole.”
“Yeah, right. I think someone’s head over heels in love.”
JC groaned, but a small smile displayed on his lips. “Must you rub in in my face?”
“I’m happy for you, Jace. Carly’s been good for you.”
He let out a breathy gust of air. “We’ve had our ups and downs but she has. I love her. It’s never been like this before.”
“I can tell man. Take some time, think it over. Call me when you make up your mind.”
“I will, Matt. Thanks for understanding.”
“Yeah yeah, see ya.”
“Bye.” JC said as he closed his phone.
He glanced over at Carly to see her still sleeping peacefully. He was pleased that she had no trouble sleeping last night, that the late pain pill she had taken had done it’s job as she rested peacefully against him.
He decided going to wake her but knew that the one thing she needed the most was rest. Instead, he padded over to the bed, taking a seat beside her, just content to watch. Her eye lashed splayed across her pale face, creating a shadow over his green eyes he knew were hiding underneath. His fingers itched to trace the outline of her smooth lips, knowing exactly what they felt like against his skin. He took a second to really focus on her features, refreshing is mind of how naturally beautiful she really was. He knew that he couldn’t live without her.
As he stood there, so focused on her features, he saw her eyes begin to flutter more than usual. It wasn’t until the smile crept up on her lips, that he discovered she had been awake the whole time. He shook his head, laughing easily.
“Good morning, baby.”
Her eyes slowly blinked open. “Morning, Jace.”
He took the opportunity to dip his head down, his lips meeting hers. It was a good morning.
“How long have you been awake?”
Carly moved cautiously, trying not to groan as her body fought against the pain. “A while.”
“And you knew I was staring at you?”
She nodded, her eyes green and sparkling. “Why were you doing that?”
JC shrugged. “I like looking at you. You’re gorgeous.”
Carly rolled her eyes but realized she was still blushing. “What do you want?”
JC chuckled, his head coming down, nose brushing hers. “I’m serious, Carly. You’re beautiful. You must not realize it.”
She smiled up at him shyly. Carly had never been one to think of herself as a model type, still JC had always made her feel like she was beautiful. “I think you are too.”
JC pulled back, making a face, causing her to laugh softly. “You think I’m beautiful? Baby, I’m a guy.”
Her brow raised in question. “So?”
“I didn’t know beautiful was a word meant for the male specimen.”
She reached a hand up, tracing his sculpted cheek bone. He immediately turned into the warmth of her. “Well you see, you--,” she said tracing his face softly. “are an exception. With you, I could use several words. Beautiful, gorgeous, sexy.”
His eyes looked down on her, heavy under his lashes. “Oh, sexy?”
“Mmmhmm.” she said as she moved her hands down, tracing his defined chin. “But if your looking for masculine words, I could go with handsome, studly…”
JC laughed, his hand coming up to hold hers. Instantly he turned his head and pressed a kiss into her palm. “Handsome, huh?”
“Yes.” Carly said, watching as he brought her hand in his, lacing their fingers. “But I still think beautiful describes you best.”
He shook his head, head coming down to meet hers. “How did this turn into an ego boost for me? I thought I was reminding you, how beautiful you were.”
Carly blinked, doing her best pretty impression. “I can’t help it. Your gorgeous features just distract me, Joshua Scott.”
He laughed. She rarely called him by his whole name. “You’re too much baby.”
She winked at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “I try.”
“So how are you feeling this morning?”
She let go, long enough to try to sit up. Groaning once, he was right there to help her into a sitting position, rearranging the pillows for support. “Surprisingly, not too bad.”
“Good. I made you some dry toast.” he said, bring the tray he’d sat on the beside stand to her lap.
Carly smiled brightly at him. “Thank you.”
JC’s smile matched hers. It was nice to see her good mood was sticking. He just hoped it lasted. “You’re welcome. Did you sleep well last night?”
She nodded, taking a bite of the toast in front of her. “Yes. But then again, I always do when I sleep with you.”
He grinned great big, happy she admitted that so freely. Leaning forward, he couldn’t prevent the urge to kiss her forehead. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Me too. Thank god for appendicitis.”
JC scoffed. “Are you telling me that if you wouldn’t have gotten sick, that you wouldn’t be here?”
Carly rolled her eyes, teasingly. “I never said that.”
Suddenly, JC looked sad and defeated as he picked up her free hand that wasn’t feeding herself toast, and ran his fingers over her knuckles. “Seriously, Carly. Were you going to come to L.A. and not call me at all?”
Taking time to swallow her food, she suddenly felt guilty. “I thought I’d be strong enough to come here and just work like I was suppose to but deep down I knew I’d eventually end up calling you before I left.”
Somehow, her confession didn’t make him feel any better. Was she saying she had wished she was strong enough to not want to see him but her emotions and feelings got the best of her? “Why didn’t you want to see me?”
Sighing deeply, Carly put down her toast and set the tray aside. “I was still mad. I still needed time to think, to re-evaluate things.”
He nodded, realizing that he had been the one to initiate the problems coming to London but still felt there was something she wasn’t telling him. “Is that all?”
Carly closed her eyes, trying to calm her sudden anger. She wasn’t in the mood for this. “Yes that’s all.”
“And you’d tell me if there was something bothering you right?”
She nodded, looking away quickly so she wasn’t meeting his eyes. “Yeah. I don’t know what your getting at though.”
“I was just--, you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to argue.”
She nodded, reaching to finish her toast. “So are you working on something with Matt?”
JC looked confused. “No, why?”
“I just heard you talking earlier.”
So she had been awake. “Oh no. That was just--, well it was nothing.” He decided not to get into it, seeing how he was taking time to decide if he really did want to put himself out there and make another album. No sense in bringing it up right now.
Carly raised a brow at him, knowing he wasn’t telling the truth. “Nothing, huh? He called last night too.”
JC moved from the bed, taking her tray from her and setting it by the door. “What, are you keeping track, now?”
“I was just wondering.” She sighed. “I had heard something…”
He turned to look at her, scratching his stomach absentmindedly. “Had heard what, Carly?”
“That you might be making an album.”
Suddenly, he felt tired. “Yea.” he said, almost sarcastically.
“Yeah you are?” Her eyes widened and he couldn’t tell if she was surprised or mad or a mixture of both.
“I don’t know.” he said, his voice low.
“Oh. What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean I don’t know if it’s what I want to do now. And I was suppose to finalize things.”
“When?” She challenged, knowing what he was going to say.
“Yesterday.”
He wasn’t prepared for her outburst. “Why the hell didn’t you?”
JC threw his hands up in the air, feeling like he’d just wasted his breath. “I’m pretty sure I was taking care of my girlfriend who JUST had major surgery.”
The look on her face said it all. She was mad. “You used me as an excuse?”
“Did I say that? NO. Was I about to leave you here by yourself? NO. Did I say I was sure I wanted to make an album yet? NO, I did not. Don’t push this, Carly.”
“I could have taken care of myself, while you went to sign stuff, you know. I’m perfectly capable, JC.”
And here came her guarded wall she had come to abuse, not wanting to let someone else care for her completely. She just didn’t know how to do it. “Dammit, Carly, this has nothing to do with you. If I wanted to sign that damn record deal, I would have.”
“I think you should do it, Joshua.” And there it was again. The full name.
Finally, he collapsed on the end of the bed, hands rubbing over his tired face. This was not how he had predicted the morning to go. “I know that, Carly.”
“What’s holding you back?” She questioned, her voice full of bitterness.
He rolled his eyes. “Just stuff, alright? I’m getting older, I’m seeing things differently, wanting different things…”
“Oh.” was her only reply. JC said a silent thanks to that. He figured they’d be there all day listening to Carly and he reasons.
“Can we just drop this for now? I’m just not in the mood to discuss this.”
“Fine.” she replied, pulling the covers off of her slowly.
JC could tell she was mad at him but right now, he didn’t care. This was his issue to work out, not hers. He watched her face twist in contort, trying not to move wrong and cause her body pain. “Where are you going?”
She looked at him smartly. “I’m going to take a shower. I feel gross.”
He rose from the bed to watch her attempt to move on her own. “And you just think you can prance right in there on your own?”
She shot him an angry look. “I can do it. I’m not an invalid.”
Shaking his head, JC moved towards her. “No, but you DID just have surgery like five days ago.”
“Yeah, I seem to remember that.” Carly replied in a cocky tone, moving to the edge of the bed to stand, and doing her best not to groan as pain shot through her body.
“Would you just stop being such a brat and let me help you?”
As she stood up slowly, it was JC’s arms that were there holding her so she didn’t fall. his voice might have been hard but his touch was soft. “I hate relying on people, JC.”
“Well just try for once, Carly. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I don’t know how to try.” she protested, even though she leaned heavily into him for support.
They took small steps around the bed, and across JC’s large bedroom to his connected bathroom. Once they were there, JC got Carly’s make up bag out and brought in for her to do what she needed.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to take your tray back to the kitchen.”
She nodded, carefully reaching for his toothbrush. He was gone for maybe four minutes before he came back into the bathroom to find Carly breathing deeply, hovered over the toilet, looking pale.
“Carly what’s wrong?”
She continued panting as he came up behind her. “I feel sick.”
His hands immediately went to her back, rubbing soothing patterns, trying to calm her down. “Just take it easy. Keep breathing.”
She nodded, closing her eyes, praying that she didn’t get sick, knowing it would cause her body a great deal of pain. JC continued to sooth her, moving her hair from her neck and caressing the skin he felt there. It seemed to be working.
Just then, a nagging thought crept back into his mind that he had tried to ignore. Suddenly he was flashed back to the moment in the hospital where he’d walked in right when Carly’s doctor had asked if she was pregnant. She would have told him, wouldn’t she? And clearly, she was taking pretty strong narcotics. They didn’t give those to pregnant women but still, something just didn’t sit right with him.
He thought about it, but in reality he knew asking could be a death sentence right about now.
When she had calmed down, she turned to him, looking ready to take a shower. “Arms up.” he said.
She raised a brow, obviously thinking he was crazy. “I beg your pardon?”
“You wanted to take a shower didn’t you?”
She crossed her arms. “I can do it, Jace.”
He shook his head. “I’m not letting you take a shower by yourself. You could fall and rip your stitches out.”
“They’re internal, JC.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t rip them. Come on Carly, stop arguing and just let me help you.”
Realizing he was right, Carly rolled her eyes once again and very slowly lifted her arms above her head. His hands were immediately at the hem of her gray tank top, moving it up her body and over her head. His eyes tried not to focus on her unencumbered breasts so distract him, they scanned to the heavily gauzed incision not far from the right side of her belly button. He traced the skin around it softly, making sure everything was still in good shape. He moved his hand back at Carly’s sharp intake of breath.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No. Your hands-- they’re just cold.”
He smiled apologetically. “Sorry. Shorts.”
JC watched as Carly did her best to cover the top half of her body as his fingers hooked in the sides of her shorts, pulling those and her bikini panties down her hips. Once they pooled at her feet, his hands moved to her sides, causing her to jump as she stepped out of her bottoms.
“This sucks.”
He gazed at her questioningly. “What, you don’t like being undressed?”
“I feel like a freaking child.”
Shaking his head, he bused her forehead. “Shut up and enjoy it.”
Carly scoffed, obviously annoyed. “I’m not allowed to enjoy it, thank you very much. No sex for two to six weeks.”
JC laughed, happy she was thinking about that regardless of her up and down moods. He had missed her, still he could control himself.
He moved away, quickly turning on the taps of the shower. Seconds later, he returned, easily stripping out of his own shorts. Carly looked at him with wide eyes, her gaze casting up and down his body.
“Relax. We’re just showering.”
She swallowed thickly, nodding. He led her over to the shower, holding the door open and keeping a strong arm around her so she didn’t fall. JC was right behind her, leading her under the hot spray.
Carly let out a deep, breathy moan as the warm water hit her, immediately waking and relaxing her body. She leaned heavily against JC, eyes closed, succumbing to the strong, sturdy body he made for her. His hands rested easily on her hips, doing his best to keep her upright. Not wanting to disturb her, he simply let her relax with the water coming down on her.
Her moans almost got to be too much. He was touching her, but it just wasn’t enough for him. Her body lay against him, wet, inviting, beautiful.
His lips grazed down to her shoulder, drinking in the small droplets of water that lay there. He trailed them up her neck, behind her ear before he whispered against it. “So beautiful, baby.”
Her breath caught, causing her to pant ever so lightly. Her neck arched, coming to one side to rest against his shoulder. His hands went to her stomach, careful not to go near her incision. His fingers inched higher, dying to touch the sweet swell of her breasts. When they traveled that high, there was no turning back as he cupped each one in the palms of his hands. Carly did moan then, shivering strongly.
“Jace…” she moaned against his neck.
He smiled, glad to see she hadn’t pushed him away and slapped him.
“This isn’t fair.”
His lips attached to her neck again, crawling up the back to her cheek where he did his best to sooth her. “I’m sorry baby. I just had to touch you.”
“This isn’t fair to you either.”
He continued his torment. “Don’t worry about me. I just want you to relax.”
She nodded against him, a small “Mmm” sound escaping her lips.
He reached forward, grabbing the shampoo and pouring some into his hand. Guiding her to stand, he lathered her hair with his long fingers, taking his time to massage her scalp.
“Okay, I missed this.”
JC smiled at her statement. He had missed this too. More than she’d ever know.
Once she rinse, he grabbed the big loofah, covering it with soap before he began washing her unsteady body. JC took his time, starting at her back and moving to her stomach, once again careful of her wound. From there, he traced her bottom and moved down her long legs. He took his time, moving to her inner thighs and trying to think of anything to keep his mind off of what he was doing and what he was touching.
Carly didn’t help matters by grabbing on to his head and delving her fingers into his hair, eliciting a soft moan. He looked up at her, eyes dark blue and cloudy, full of desire. “I know baby, trust me.”
Once he was satisfied that he had washed every possibly inch of her, he carefully guided her back under the warm spray to rinse. After that, he guided Carly back into his arms, comfortable to just stand under the water, humming against her neck.
Some time had ticked away, without any exchange in dialogue before Carly turned against JC, kissing him softly. “You’re too good for me.”
JC tried not to laugh. “What? Baby, don’t say that.”
She turned a little, until she could meet his eyes. “I mean it Jace. I’m not always the easiest to deal with but you’re still always there. Always here for me, spoiling me.”
His eyes closed, letting her words sink in. Her wall was once again coming down. His arms engulfed her naked form, holding her against him, as strongly as he could without hurting her. “It’s because I love you, Carly. From the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. I love you.”
She was silent for just a moment and JC thought that maybe he’d said too much too soon. His thought were quickly relieved when she repeated his statement. “I love you too.”
“Then I wish you’d stop fighting me. I want us to be together, to be a real couple, to get over all of this drama. To not have secrets.”
“I know, JC. I’m trying.”
His lips once again came down to her ear, just breathing against it for a second before finally speaking. “Try a little harder.”
It was then that Carly finally saw the pain she had caused him in all of their recent drama. Still, there were always two sides to a story. Instead, she nodded. “Okay.”
JC smiled against her ear, kissing it once, not to ignite new feelings but in a simple intimate way to say thanks. Still, that nagging question kept repeating itself in his head. He had to know.
“Baby, can I ask you something without you freaking out?”
“I suppose that depends what it is.”
He took a deep breath, trying to choose his words carefully. JC knew that touching on such sensitive subjects could send her back into her difficult, wall blocking self but still, if they were a couple, he had the right to know.
“Promise me you won’t get mad.”
He felt her still for a second. “Um, okay.”
JC closed his eyes, took a deep breathe for confidence before he went on. “When I was coming into your room when you were in the hospital, I heard the nurse ask you if you could be pregnant…”
He stopped, immediately feeling her tense in his arms.
“Yeah, so? Those are standard questions they ask you.”
She wasn’t running from him. So far, that was a good sign. “So um, you’re not?”
Carly used that opportunity to move away from him further under the spray, no longer pressed against his chest. He didn’t miss the way her head hung. “No, JC. I’m not pregnant.”
Immediately feeling a loss, he tried to pull her back into his arms with no avail. “Did you think you were, Carly?”
She turned around carefully, her eyes suddenly red and he could have swore there were tears in the them even though they were in the shower. He took a step closer, his arms coming to her shoulders. He gave them a encouraging squeeze before they journeyed up to her jaw where he urged her to look at him. “Baby?”
Just then, he realized she was shaking. Was this what had been keeping her from him?
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not.”
He felt her cold tone. Maybe he shouldn’t press the issue. He’d never had to deal with this part of a relationship. Instantly, she went silent.
“Don’t shut me out. I thought we were in this relationship together.”
Looking up, surprisingly unstable for Carly’s usual being, she finally went on. “I didn’t even think anything of it before they asked me when my last period was and I couldn’t remember. I’ve been traveling back and forth a lot and really stressed out so I figured that’s why I hadn’t had it for a while, then the possibility hit me.”
He let out a shaky breath. “So you thought you could have been?”
She shrugged, slowly falling apart before him. “The possibility was there.”
He didn’t know what to say. Of course the possibility was there. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. Let’s just drop it.”
JC looked back at her, hurt evident all over his face. One part of him felt like it was hard to breathe at the thought of having a baby with Carly. He loved her, he was sure of that but were they ready for something like that? Did he see kids with her? Was she ready to give up her career to be a mother? Hell, right now, they didn’t even live in the same state. There were so many gaps to fill in. Still, he couldn’t not notice the bitterness that her words were laced with. He was torn, wanting to discuss the issue but also wanting her to stop fighting her and clear all the tension between them. He just wanted to love her.
Still, the one question that wouldn’t stop nagging him was one that he knew he couldn’t ask. Did Carly want to have a baby? Was that the reasoning behind her cold tone and distance she had put between them? JC did a mental argument for a while but decided against it. Instead, he shut off the taps of the shower before reaching carefully for Carly’s hand, wrapping his own around her waist.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get dried off.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank goodness for random motivation after busy days at work. Happy 4th of July! Enjoy!
Story Tags: love boyfriendjc showersex jc producerjc
